Chapter Text
Wilbur hates Saturdays, they were quiet and loud at the same time. From screaming matches with neighbours to afternoons being deathly silent but typically he had Niki with him.
It had been a week since his argument with Niki, four days since he went to work, and two days since he went on patrol.
An explosive he had stolen sat there glaring at him. Almost begging him to blow something up. Begging him to put someone through the pain he went through.
His time was wasted on crying.
He got up and made his way to the kitchen, wanting at least to have some breakfast if it was going to be one of those days.
There were some days when Wilbur knew the flashbacks were going to be worse, some days when his thoughts would be too loud, and there would be some days when he wished for it all to end.
It’s not a big deal or anything.
He rubbed his eyes, slowly pouring hot coffee into a cup, some of it spilt on his hand. He flinched at the contact.
The warmth of the cup reminded him cozy mornings with Niki, laughing together with Quackity, the sense of pride he got when Angelic Fury cracked a smile at his joke.
He didn’t deserve this; he didn’t deserve Quackity’s friendship; he didn’t deserve Niki’s friendship! Maybe Niki fighting with him was a good thing.
He threw the cup across his dingy apartment.
God, he ruins everything he touches.
The selfish part of him wants to apologise, wants Niki to talk to him. He knew she deserved better than him.
But he never claimed to be selfless.
So, he went to Niki’s door and silently debated whether to knock on it yet. He eventually decided on knocking it.
The door opened as he saw Niki, her hair messy and circle under her eyes. A shirt thrown on a hurry. Niki overall looked like she was on the verge of a mental break down.
(Your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault)
“I’m sorry” His voice filled with regret, and for the first time in a while, it was truthful. “Wilbur… I-I can’t forgive you; it’s happened again and again and- I can’t anymore”
“I’m sorry too” she added quietly in the end. Wilbur felt his heart break; they’ve had fights before but she’s always forgiven him.
Whatever, he doesn’t need her forgiveness.
“I guess we’re done here,” Wilbur said. He easily covered up his hurt, but something about Niki’s face gave him reason to believe that she didn’t believe him.
“I guess we are” she said curtly, then proceeding to shut the door in front of him. He ran to his apartment room, and slammed the door.
He couldn’t breathe
He was going insane
He was slipping away.
Tears streamed down his face as he slowly slid down a wall. His nails bit into his skin, his thoughts running away from his grasp.
“Number five, don’t worry, it’s not going to hurt," A faceless nurse whispered in his ear. The lights flickered. Fear filled him as he backed away to the corner of the room. “Just tell me to leave and I will”
“P-please leave,” He sobbed. “That didn’t work” A punch thrown, his jaw throbbed in pain. “Leave” he roared, anger and pain bubbling up.
The nurse’s eyes got glossy for a moment before returning to normal, “That was better, if you keep up then you may be able to be a hero” and with that she shut the door.
The doorbell rang; he quickly wiped his tears. The door flung open, and there stood Quackity. Wilbur’s mouth agape, and Quackity commented, “Don’t keep your mouth open, mosquitoes will get in”
“You want to be in my mouth that bad, huh?”
They both chuckled, “Come in, dude”
Quackity awkwardly stood there, hands in his pockets. “Where were you?” Quackity abruptly asked, Wilbur let his brain go on auto pilot, and let his mouth spew whatever it wanted.
(fake, fake, fake, fake)
“I wasn’t feeling well, high fever and all. But I feel better now!”
Quackity nodded before speaking again, “Want to go to the beach?”
Wilbur was surprised at the random question, “Uh… sure”
“Perfect! Now we'd better get going, William!”
The car ride was silent.
Quackity’s eyes were stuck to the road while Wilbur’s eyes wandered from one tree to the next. How long had it been since he went to the beach? Last time was with his brother.
Wilbur stuck his head out the window, the wind covered Wilbur’s hair over his face. He broke into a grin; his brother was like the wind, light and breezy, and Wilbur was the goosebumps that came with.
God, did he miss his brother.
His brother's piercing blue eyes, his hair similar to Wilbur’s but blonde. He wondered if he had ever dyed it?
He left, he left Wilbur to fend for himself, Wilbur couldn’t blame him, his brother was a kid himself but his brother blamed him. Resentment grew like the waves, biting pieces of the dirt until it became a part of the water.
When they finally reached their destination, a feeling of euphoria surged through him. The sand meeting the waves and waves taking the sand along with it.
He looked over to see Quackity with a small smile, his eyebrows relaxed and his overall vibe calmer than it normally is.
His heart felt happy for him, slight emotions of envy too. How he wished he could feel the same way Quackity does.
Quackity deserved this feeling.
Wilbur didn’t.
A warm hand distracted him from his thoughts; he was being dragged along the sand. Quackity grabbed him by the wrist and was running while Wilbur trailed along, “Where are you taking me” He asked light heartedly, “To your doom” Quackity joked.
Quackity led him to the water. The waves splashing against his ankles, and seashells littered around him.
Wilbur was almost surprised when he uttered the next words, “Will you dance with me?” and extended his hand.
“Such a gentleman, William”
They danced around in circles, the white noise from the waves being their music, the seagulls being the crowd.
Wilbur couldn't care less. He laughed with his friend, giggling at Quackity’s horrible jokes while Quackity giggled at his.
The saline water stuck to Quackity’s sun kissed hair, Wilbur admired the sun setting, the orange hues blending in the dark blues of the night sky.
“Hey Quackity?”
“Yeah”
“Why did you invite me?” Wilbur asked, cringing at the voice crack, “Because you’re my friend,” Quackity replied simply.
Friend.
Wilbur never had many friends. At first it was brother (where are you now?), then it was Niki (how are you now?), and now it was Quackity (Why are you here now?).
“It’s getting late, we should get going”
Quackity agreed and got up, offering his hand. Wilbur didn’t grab his hand; instead, he stood up by himself. Quackity looked a bit dejected.
Guilt refused to leave his side.
The car ride back was filled with short conversations and the silence filled with the music. Quackity parked his car in front of Wilbur’s apartment.
“It was fun, I hope we can do it again,” Wilbur said kindly,
“Ever the flattered, William,” and with that, Quackity left.
And even when Wilbur got back to his house, the salty air of the beach still lingered.