Chapter Text
The alarm of the phone that seemed to be set up hours before resonated in the bedroom, making Jaeyi groan in annoyance. Eyes still closed, she sketched her arms toward the table beside her bed and shut the alarm down. She sighed and blinked multiple times. As her consciousness came back to her, she felt a presence beside her, a comfortable heat, and turned her head only to face Seulgi’s sleepy face. Their body were close, it seemed they were cuddling in the middle of their sleep, and their legs were tangled. The older woman smiled, not aware of the mess that was happening outside her home, and brushed the younger woman’s hair out of her face. She wished she could wake up every day like this, with Seulgi by her side. It felt safe, peaceful, perfect, as if she belonged with her. Jaeyi stared at the woman for a long minute, paying attention to the actress’s facial features, until Seulgi moved slightly. The younger woman opened slowly her eyes and smiled shyly.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” she said with her morning voice. It was deep, yet sweet. The older woman smiled widely and felt a heat on her face. She wasn’t used to this, to be complimented by the actress.
“Well, good morning, princess. Did you sleep well?” Seulgi sketched her arms and sat down. She passed her hand through her hair and smiled. “One of the best, what time is it? Shouldn’t I wake Heeyoung up?” Jaeyi took her phone to look up the time, but found a ton of notifications, too many to be normal. She frowned, feeling her stomach tighten as if something bad was going to happen. She was too deep into the phone that she didn’t feel the actress move. She suddenly felt fingers touch, caressing her shoulder to her neck, making her body shiver from the sensual touch.
“What’s going on? You suddenly looked worried.” Jaeyi looked at the woman beside her and shook her head. “It’s half past six in the morning, and I just had a lot of notifications, which isn’t usual.” She heard a hum and felt a kiss on her shoulder. Jaeyi’s mind went blank, and she felt the heartbeat under her skin, with how loudly it was bouncing.
“I’m going to wake up Heeyoung and let you handle the notifications.” The CEO laughed at the teasing tone and watched her walk out of the room. She wasn’t in the mood to look up what people sent her. She felt happy and peaceful right now and wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. She even found herself touching her lips as she remembered the kiss and smiled with satisfaction. She finally stood up and did her morning routine.
She walked to the kitchen and began cooking breakfast for the girls. She prepared everything and put down each plate on the table. Then, her phone started to ring, showing the contact of Mr. Wan. She understood she couldn’t ignore the mess anymore and took a deep breath before picking up the call.
“Hey, Ms. Yoo! I’m sorry to call you this early, but we have a huge problem. I don’t know if you looked up Naver. If not, please tell Seulgi not to look up her phone!” Her assistant seemed hurried, and his voice was a mix of anxiety and fear. Jaeyi felt a rock drop in her stomach, sensing the emergency.
“What’s going on? You seem agitated.” She heard him sigh and let a silence for a few seconds before taking a grave tone.
“I think Youngmin knew that you still see Seulgi. Many articles are starting to shed light on Seulgi’s father. Naver being the first one with the title ‘Woo Seulgi is still in contact with her pedophile father’ or whatever.” Jaeyi’s eyes went wide, and she rested her hand on the kitchen island as the shock went through her body and mind.
“How is that even possible? I made sure that everything was as discreet as possible!” She heard a nervous laugh. Jaeyi said nothing more for a few seconds, trying to think about a plan or something. The situation took a drastic turn, and she wasn't sure if she was yet ready to face it. She breathed loudly and massaged her forehead with her hand.
“Call Mr. Hwan and tell him to drop Heeyoung off at her school. I’m coming with Seulgi, call the PR team and Seulgi’s manager for an emergency meeting. If Seulgi has a schedule today, cancel it.” Her assistant hummed and hung out. Jaeyi stayed still for a long moment, swallowing the information. She didn't even notice the fear that was gripping her chest or the anxiety that started to take place in her stomach. She bit one of her fingers and stared at the food as the thought began to flow.
“What’s going on? You look more worried.” The sudden voice of Seulgi made her jump slightly. She didn’t hear the girls coming and saw both of them looking at her with a confused stare. Heeyoung walked closer and hugged her as a good morning before sitting in her chair. The actress sat beside the little girl, but her eyes never left Jaeyi as if she were worried for her.
“I’m telling you after, just don’t look up your phone. Heeyoung, my love, today it’s Mr. Hwan who’s going to drop you off at your school. There is an emergency at work, and none of us can accompany you, I’m sorry.” Heeyoung stopped drinking her chocolate milk and furrowed her brows.
“Does that mean Father is going to pick me up after school?” Jaeyi looked over Seulgi for a second and sighed. The actress didn’t say anything and continued to eat her egg as if the conversation wasn’t her business.
“I don’t know. It will depend on the circumstances. I will see if your aunt is free.” She replied with a sweet voice, making her daughter nod weakly. She knew Heeyoung wasn’t happy, but she didn’t have another plan and wished things were easier. She looked at Seulgi, who seemed tense, but stayed quiet. The actress didn’t ask any questions, didn’t make any comments. She just ate breakfast slowly in silence as if she knew what was waiting for her.
Mr. Hwan came after twenty minutes. He bowed to everyone and took care of Heeyoung. Jaeyi still hated it when someone she didn’t trust took care of her daughter, but with the circumstances, she didn’t have the choice. She kissed her daughter’s cheek and apologized again for not being here today. Her daughter said nothing; she just nodded and followed the assistant. When the door closed, the CEO walked back to the kitchen, where the actress was cleaning the table. She helped her at first, in absolute silence. It wasn’t normal, she knew, but she didn’t know what to say or with what to start. Seulgi was the first one to break the gloomy atmosphere.
“Just tell me what’s going on. I hate when you are silent like this, it always makes the ambiance weird, or should I look at my phone?” Jaeyi sighed and came closer to the actress. She wasn’t sure how to say it, really. She didn’t even know how Seulgi would react. She caressed one strand of Seulgi’s hair and started to play with it at the tips.
“Don’t panic, okay?” She started unsure. The woman beside her nodded calmly, and her eyes didn’t express anything, maybe a bit of worry. She didn’t know; she still had a hard time reading Seulgi’s eyes. Nevertheless, Jaeyi always found it fascinating how her eyes were big but so empty. It felt like watching the galaxy, so vast, so beautiful, yet so clear. “I think Youngmin knows that you are staying here. There are articles about you and your father. They said he is a pedophile, and you are still in contact with him.” She stared at her face to see any reactions, but saw nothing. The actress just looked at her back, and after a minute, she sighed deeply.
“He must have gotten bored. After all, he doesn’t even know where I sleep. Have you told anybody that I’m here?” Jaeyi’s lips went to her left as she felt her heart beat faster. She almost forgot. “Yeah, my sister. I told her, pretending that Mr. Kim knew it too. I don’t think she said it directly to my father, though. I’m going to speak to her after.” Seulgi breathed loudly and turned her head.
“I guess it’s going to be a long and draining day.” The older woman still stared at her and placed her hand on the youngest’s waist to pull her against her.
“You aren’t alone, Seul.” The actress looked up to her and smiled. “Yeah, I know. Thank you,” she replied in a low tone, yet she sounded fragile. The actress hugged her and rested her head on the older woman’s shoulder.
They stayed like this for a few long minutes, enjoying the comfortable heat that each body gave. Jaeyi liked these moments when the actress was close to her, open, and physical. It always felt different than her past experiences and so safe. It felt like she could do anything, as if the fear didn’t even exist, and she didn’t know if she found it beautiful or scary. But she loved it. She felt loved and supported.
Everyone was already here. They looked at each other with fear and anxiety. Some of them were tapping the floor with their feet, some were tapping the table with their finger, and some were just waiting, eyes glaring at each people in the room, a little longer on Seulgi. The atmosphere was heavy as everyone understood the emergency and the importance of the meeting. It wasn’t only the career of the actress that was on the verge of an end, but also for each person in the room. The company’s reputation was at stake, and everyone needed to think quickly. However, they weren’t afraid of their capacity to deliver a lie, but they were afraid of the woman who was on the very side of the table, looking at each of them with a cold stare.
“I guess everyone saw the news today. I don’t think it will be the only attack we will receive from whatever the person is. I’m listening. If you have a question or idea to handle this situation, let me hear it all.” The CEO said with a cold and authoritative tone. Everyone avoided looking at their boss and hesitated to even speak. “I’m listening, or do I need to fire everyone?” The comment made everyone jump from their chair except Seulgi, who was looking at everyone with amusement. Ara punched her shoulder weakly and gave her a grave stare that told her to behave, making the actress gaze down at her knees.
“Seulgi-ssi, is it… is it true that your father is a pedophile? No judgement of course!” A girl from the PR team spoke first with hesitation and a trembling tone. Seulgi knew they felt under pressure, especially with Jaeyi’s presence in the room, so she smiled kindly at the woman and nodded.
“Yeah, but I’m not in contact with him. My stepmother divorced him when I was like sixteen, and I have never seen him since then.” She replied in honesty. A silence fell on the room, and it was kind of awkward for Seulgi. All the eyes looked at her with some judgment as if she were responsible for her father’s actions. She hated it, the silence, the look, the awkwardness, the way they prepared her for being hated by people just because she wore her father’s last name. She didn’t choose her parent; nobody chose them, right? So, why did they look at her like this? Like she was the one who committed the fault? Jaeyi seemed to notice Seulgi’s discomfort, just like her manager, who stood up suddenly. Before the CEO could even interfere, Ara spoke first.
“Why are you looking at her like this! She said she had no contact with him! She doesn’t control her father’s actions, and nobody chooses their parents! If you want to judge someone, go judge her father, not her!” Jaeyi’s brows twitched slightly, and she smiled. On the other hand, Seulgi raised her head toward her manager and pouted as she felt grateful to have someone like Ara beside her. The CEO finally stood up, making everyone look at her.
“Cho Ara is right. I want a first draft of the statement in my office as soon as possible. Say that Woo Seulgi had no attachment to the man, and that we will file a complaint against the people who defame our artists. If I hear any of you talking badly about this, you will get fired. Did I make myself clear?” The cold voice resonated in the room. The fear could be sensed in the atmosphere, and everyone nodded, eyes down to the table, expecting one person who was frowning.
“I’m sorry, but how is this a defamation when the article is right? Her father is a pedophile, no matter what. Saying that she had a pedophile father won’t be great for her reputation; people will still judge her for that. Worse, they will dig into her past and try to find out who he is and if she really cut him out of her life. A single picture together and it’s dead. Especially with the politics of the moment, Ms. Yoo.” The speech hung in the air as if it were a direct challenge waiting to be accepted, making everything colder. Jaeyi stayed still and looked at the man who pronounced these words. The actress noticed her jaw being clenched, and she felt herself boil with anger. She didn’t care if the man was right or not; the fact that he didn’t believe her that she cut her disgusting father out of her life made her furious. How did people see her truly? Someone who could let the most disgusting person stay in her life? Someone who has zero conscience? Zero principle? Zero moral?
“I said I have no contact with him since I was sixteen. If they want to dig into it, I don’t care; there is nothing to see except my disgusting father trial. It’s not my fault that I need to wear his last name, that doesn’t mean I support his actions!” Her voice was aggressive; she knew that. Everyone looked at her, surprisingly, even Jaeyi, but the man didn’t bulge. He looked at her with a mocking smile.
“Oh really? Good for you, Woo Seulgi! But nobody cares about that. If you want to save your career, I think we should hide the fact that your father is a pedophile. Just a month ago, a big case of pedophile came to light, and it’s the main debate these days in the assembly! What kind of image would you have? Not a good one! You still wore a pedophile’s last name, no matter what, and that will follow you until you die. If you are really disgusted by your father, why don’t you change your last name, anyway?” This took Seulgi aback, not only the actress, but also Ara, who furrowed her brows strongly. Her manager walked closer to the man and took him by his shirt.
“Yah! Are you insane?! Aren’t you ashamed?! It’s seven in the morning, soon eight, and you still found the energy to be a disgusting piece of shit.” The man pushed her and brought his hands around his neck.
“You are a crazy bitch! I said what most people will say!” Ara cursed loudly and ran to the man to punch him. Everyone stood up trying to separate them, but nothing was useful. Ara was too into her rage, and the man didn’t seem to be ashamed to fight against a woman at all. Seulgi sat slowly on her chair and looked at Jaeyi, who watched the scene with amusement.
The actress didn’t understand what was so amusing in the situation. It was a mess, and her fear started to eat her. Maybe she should run away? After all, nothing makes sense. Jaeyi should have given up on her and pretended they had never met. It was only about her father, and she felt like drowning in the deep ocean. The man wasn’t wrong; she still wore the name of a pedophile, of someone who made her life miserable. People will surely judge her for it. To be honest, she didn’t find the courage to look at her phone since the morning. She knew the comments would affect her, and she didn’t want to look weak this early, not when Jaeyi had it harder. She looked back at Jaeyi, who was now staring at her. She couldn’t read her face; her eyes were cold, authoritative, dark, and something deeper, maybe protective? She didn’t know, but it sent a shiver down her spine.
“Enough!” The loud, cold voice made everyone freeze in their spot, and everyone looked at their boss. “Everyone will do what I say. The PR team, you will do what I said. Write a statement saying that Seulgi has no contact with her father and that she didn’t see him a lot during her childhood. We can’t refute her father’s actions. People will find out about the trial since a criminal case can be public. If people don’t find it, the person who shared the information will. I’m sure people aren’t that dumb, a pedophile who has a child, don’t you see a danger in it? I also want to include in the statement that Seulgi is against her father’s action. I’m in charge of the law thing. I will still file a complaint because saying she is still in contact with her father is defamatory and can cause distress. Now get out of here to do your job.” Everyone took their stuff and bowed to Jaeyi before leaving without daring to look back. Seulgi noticed how the CEO looked at the man before he left; her gaze said everything. He won’t be working anymore in the agency. The actress sighed in relief; she knew everything was now under control. She stood up and walked toward Ara with worry. She couldn’t believe her manager was ready to fight someone for her.
“Are you okay? You didn’t have to do all that, you know.” Her manager looked at her and frowned.
“He kinda insulted you, of course I had to do that! Men always forget they live in a patriarchal society! I won’t let anyone insult you, Seul.” The actress felt an intense grateful emotion in her chest as her sight started to blur. She hugged her tightly and thanked her a hundred times, still in disbelief at having such wonderful surroundings. Ara hugged her and stroked her back.
“I’m still here, by the way.” The two women jumped slightly and broke the hug fast. Jaeyi didn’t seem to enjoy the sight or the closeness between the two women. Ara seemed to notice the change in the CEO and stepped back a little while looking at the actress with sad puppy eyes as if she had done something wrong. Before anyone could say anything, the door suddenly opened, and Mr. Wan appeared out of breath. The man took a time to breathe, enough time to sense the heavy, awkward atmosphere, and looked at Jaeyi confusedly.
“What’s going on?” Jaeyi asked with a perplexed tone. Mr. Wan bowed his head and scratched the back of his neck.
“Mr. Yoo is here. He wants to speak to you. He is already in your office, Mr. Kim welcomed him.” The CEO sighed loudly and furrowed her brows weakly. Seulgi noticed how her body went rigid and her face suddenly turned into worry. She looked like she was afraid, as if meeting him was one of the biggest challenges of the day. The actress never met Jaeyi’s father, and the older woman never spoke about her family. Now that she thought about it, Seulgi knew almost nothing about the CEO’s life, just her history with Youngmin. Jaeyi looked at her and Ara one last time and gave a bitter smile before leaving without saying a word. Mr. Wan bowed his head to them and followed the CEO behind with an urgent speed. After a moment of silence, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“You have a lot to tell me, Ms. Woo, and you should start with whatever’s going on with Jaeyi.” Seulgi turned her head toward Ara, who had her arm crossed against her chest. She knew it was time to explain everything to her and Byeong. The actress felt an impatient feeling in her chest as she thought of her childhood friend. He must have contacted her after he saw the news.
“Where are you going, Seulgi!” She heard her manager screaming as she ran away from the meeting room with her bag. She went to the hall and stopped in the middle of it. A few seconds after, Ara was beside her, out of breath.
“Gosh, I need to start exercising cause what the hell, I’m already out of breath!” Seulgi giggled, but her eyes were still looking around the floor. She knew the singer would come to the agency since she wasn’t reachable, and she was right. Only a minute later, the main door opened, and Byeong was there with a worried look and completely out of breath. He was looking everywhere with a rare dash, and when he finally met Seulgi’s eyes, he ran to her and hugged her tightly.
“Are you okay? I saw the news. What the fuck is going on? I ran here as soon as possible. Why did you turn your phone off? I was dead worried!” Seulgi hugged him back tightly, enjoying the safety of his body and presence. It was different from Jaeyi; she couldn’t quite explain it, but it was different. When the singer noticed Ara, he stepped back and scratched the back of his neck. “So?” Her manager sighed, but she had a big smile on her face.
“Let’s grab a coffee and sit in the company’s coffee shop. It must be empty at these hours. Seulgi has a lot to share, right?!” The actress and the singer nodded. They arrived at the café and sat at a table close to a window. Byeong joined them a few minutes later with their order and sat beside Ara. The actress faced them with a rested face and took her drink. She already felt exhausted, and yet she did nothing. She felt the eyes on her, waiting for her to start explaining the weeks she had. “So, Seulgi, what’s going on with Jaeyi?” The actress closed her eyes and sighed.
“With Jaeyi? I thought we were here about the news?” Byeong said in confusion.
“Well, yes, but I’m sure Jaeyi has some responsibility in this. Plus, she looked jealous to see me hugging Seulgi, like I saw the possessiveness in my own eyes.” Seulgi opened her eyes and furrowed her brows. Jaeyi was jealous of what? She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Stop saying nonsense. Jealous of what?” Ara and Byeong shared a quick look, and the singer asked what had happened. Her manager said in detail everything, while the singer exaggerated his reactions. Seulgi only listened to them and stayed silent. She didn’t have the strength to react or speak, even though she needed to explain everything to them soon. She took advantage of the small moment to breathe and thought a little about her mother, who must have seen the news. She was wondering how she reacted and what she was thinking. Byeong suddenly slapped the table, making the actress jump from her seat.
“She was definitely jealous! And the guy will lose his job for sure, this motherfucker.” Seulgi rolled her eyes and simply ignored her childhood friend’s commentary.
“It’s Jaeyi’s husband behind the news. He knew my life in detail and threatened me months ago, leading me to ignore Jaeyi for three months, I think. Then, someone sent an email to Jaeyi about me and the addiction I had to drugs. She waited for me in front of my building to talk.” There was a silence, a cold one at first, and then a soft, warm one. She looked at Ara first since the manager had no idea of the actress’s past life and saw no judgment on her face. She just stared with a little pout and eyes full of support and understanding. Seulgi didn’t have to explain about her life for Ara to understand; it was like she already knew all the struggles. The actress turned her eyes to Byeong. His jaw was clenched, and he seemed to try to control his emotions. They both had their own reaction, but neither of them pushed her to say more or judged her, which made Seulgi feel safe and loved no matter what. Her throat started to be painful as she felt the desire to cry. She felt overwhelmed by the kindness of the people around her.
“What a bastard! Why would he threaten you? Is he jealous?” Ara put her arm in front of Byeong and shook her finger.
“That wouldn’t make sense. If he wanted Jaeyi back, shouldn’t he have just taken care of her daughter and just flirted with her? Hurting someone important to Jaeyi and her daughter won’t make her go back to him.” The singer sighed, clearly not agreeing with the woman beside him.
“Speaking of it. I stopped taking care of Heeyoung for three months, and apparently, he was the one who took care of her, almost every week. He left Jaeyi most of the time alone.” Byeong snapped his finger and nodded fiercely as if he had just understood something.
“This is why Jaeyi was moody? Are you insane?! You knew what I went through? Nevertheless, I think he wants to have Jaeyi back. He eliminated you, took care of Heeyoung, and I’m sure he tried to flirt with her, pretending he is the only option, anyway. Isolation can be such a good manipulation.” Seulgi looked at her manager, who was thinking deeply. Ara didn’t seem to follow up on the jealous plot and looked at the window. After a few seconds, she started to talk.
“Still doesn’t make sense. Why would he destroy Jaeyi’s business? Who would want to get back with someone who destroyed everything their built and maintained? I think there is something else. Tell us everything. What happened after your talk with Jaeyi? Why couldn’t I drop you off at your home? Spill.” Seulgi sighed and looked at the window. The sky was grey today, and she could tell the rain would pour. Of course, it would rain, even in the middle of the summer. If something bad happened to Seulgi, the rain would always come. She took a deep breath and started to explain everything. Their talks, how she ended up in Jaeyi’s home, her weeks in there, and how Jaeyi managed the security. She didn’t talk about the feelings, or all her breakdowns, or even the kiss.
“Oh wow, she really made sure to blur everything. New car, new driver, new assistant, but still using the old car when going to the schedule, so he won’t suspect anything. Clever. But her ex-husband is scary as hell. Following you? Knowing all your past relationships and things? What the fucking hell!” Her manager was stunned by the tale and crossed her arms against her chest. On the other hand, Byeong seemed angry, and Seulgi could see his protectiveness being activated.
“If I knew this the day we had met him, I swear I would kill him that day, even if it were in front of her daughter.” Ara punched his shoulder and screamed at him how dumb he was, making Seulgi laugh. The singer looked at his friend with tenderness and spoke softly. “You should have told me, Seul. You could have stayed at my place. You know you could always count on me, so why did you stay silent? I thought we had to tell each other everything? I kinda feel dumb not to notice that you weren’t doing well, or you abandoned your house.” Seulgi circled with her finger the edge of her cup. She felt bad about having hidden this from her childhood friend. She knew he wouldn’t judge and would help her.
“I’m sorry, Byeong. It’s not against you, but I was just too scared to ask for help. I didn’t want you to be involved in something like this, especially since he followed me everywhere. Jaeyi also asked me personally not to tell anybody about this because we didn’t know whom to trust. I wanted to argue back, but it didn’t seem to be useful. So yeah, I’m sorry.” Byeong said nothing for a moment, but then he sighed and nodded.
“It’s okay, I understand. The situation must have been hard for you. I just want you to know I’m still here if you need!” The actress smiled at him and felt grateful to have met such a good man in her childhood. She sometimes wonders what she would do if he weren’t in her life.
“Okay, but you’re going to tell me that you lived for like two weeks with Jaeyi and nothing happened? Spill the tea! We want the tea!” Ara said with a steady tone. Seulgi looked at her manager and rolled her eyes. She wished not to speak about this area; she wasn’t even sure of herself, and quite not ready to answer the holy question: what are we? She sighed and finished her drink before speaking.
“Well, I asked her why she wanted to help me that much when the allegations were too scandalous. She indirectly told me she had feelings for me, like she said, she wanted to understand me and fight for me, and that she liked to be with me.” The two people in front of her stopped their movements and stared at Seulgi with disbelief, confusing the actress. “What? I just started.” Ara brought her hand to her mouth and shook her head.
“Oh Seulgi… You just started, but what a strong start. Jaeyi is down bad for you, saying all this just to justify her help. Competent woman, if you ask me.” The actress rolled her eyes, but didn’t deny her manager’s statement. It was true, Jaeyi was only comprehensible and patient with her. She never pushed her, never forced her, she took all the time needed, and let the necessary space between them. The older woman always made sure that Seulgi was safe and tried her best to earn her trust.
“Anyway, I told her I wasn’t ready for a relationship and needed time because I didn’t want to run away like my last relationships. I still told her I liked to be around her, too.” Ara gave her a thumbs up, and Byeong nodded proudly. “We kinda grew closer after that, but one day she came home and she didn’t seem to be alright. I wanted her to open up a little, and my frustration made me say things that I shouldn’t have said.” Byeong stopped her and looked at her with worried eyes.
“What did you say? I’m scared, I know you can be really mean when you want to.” Seulgi began to scratch the back of her neck, knowing she was in trouble. She hated herself for throwing this sentence at Jaeyi, especially when she was the one who genuinely wanted to protect her.
“I said that if my career was on the verge of ending, it was her fault.” Her manager gasped, and her eyebrows arched widely.
“You didn’t say that! You didn’t!” Byeong put her arm in front of Ara and motioned for her to stay quiet. The actress groaned loudly, regretting everything already.
“I did, but I apologized. We became cold for four days, I think, and I came home late yesterday. I found Jaeyi drinking alcohol one after another. When she was at her fourth glass, I think, I stopped her. Surprisingly, she wasn’t drunk, so I apologized because I really felt bad, and Jaeyi opened up about things. I just hope she did this because she wanted to, and trust me, not because she felt like she had to. After that, we kissed, and that was all.” Seulgi unconsciously touched her lips and felt a light heat on her cheek. Byeong caught as he swallowed his drink while Ara spilled out her drink in her cup. Her manager was the first one to come back to her shocked state and started to tap Byeong’s back a little. She stared at the actress with a surprising glare and shook her head slightly.
“You said like it was nothing! Crazy, you kissed her, and hours later, an article about you appears. No luck at all! But, oh wow, so she is your girlfriend, right? Right, Seulgi?” The actress avoided their look and began to whistle. She felt someone beside her and raised her head just to face Byeong, who gripped her shoulder and shook her slightly.
“What happened to you! I thought you didn’t do situationship!” Seulgi took his arms and put them away from her shoulder. She brought her hand to her forehead and sighed.
“I still don’t, it’s just not the moment for this. Maybe when this mess ends, I will see, but for the moment, there is too much shit going on. We didn’t even go on our second date?!” She gazed at Ara, who was smiling at her widely.
“At least, you seemed sure of yourself. You have grown a lot since our last talk about her. I hope none of you will screw up. Well, congratulations, Seulgi-ah! You succeeded in having a CEO wrapped around your finger! Also, congratulations again, you are now a mom too! Oh wow, things can go fast! One day, no child, no partner, you closed your eyes, and the next day, you have a child and a partner. Crazy!” Ara clapped her hands in excitement, and an amused smile was still on her face. The actress looked at her childhood friend for help, but only found a confused man who tried to understand Ara’s words. He looked back at Seulgi and opened his mouth.
“Does that mean I’m finally an uncle?” Seulgi sighed in defeat and looked at the window. Nevertheless, she couldn’t contain the chuckle. A light happiness flame was here, in her chest.
Jaeyi walked out of the elevator and entered the office with a cold face. Her posture was perfect, straight, confident, showing no trace of weakness. She bowed to her father and sat on the opposite sofa, facing him. He didn’t look happy, and Jaeyi could sense the anger energy around him. He came here for something specific, and she didn’t know what to expect. He crossed his legs and rested his arms on the sofa’s back, leaving his posture open, confident, as if he were trying to say he was the real boss.
“I saw the news about the actress Woo Seulgi, I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t dig her past. I told you to pay attention to their activity. Who knows what this woman is doing outside. To think someone like her was taking care of Heeyoung, and that you let such a woman be important in your life? What were you even thinking when you started to flirt with her? Aren’t you ashamed?” His voice was cold, colder than Jaeyi would ever be, and each word felt like a cut on her skin. It wasn’t because his sentence hurt; it was how he saw her. He didn’t tell it directly, no, he made sure that her daughters understood his thoughts by his tone and specific words. Right now, her father wasn’t trusting her and thought she would fail. It hurt Jaeyi. After all these years, trying to prove she could manage everything without a man being behind her wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough.
“Woo Seulgi doesn’t have contact with her father, she isn’t a bad person. I won’t let you speak about her like she were the criminal. I trust her; she took care of Heeyoung better than Youngmin ever had been. So, no, I’m not ashamed.” Taejoon didn’t bulge and let out a snort. He looked at her desk and then back at Jaeyi.
“Youngmin told me a lot about Seulgi. She had taken drugs, stolen, orphan, and had three relationships with women. She isn’t good, Jaeyi. Mr. Kim told me how she affected you in your work and mood. How a dispute could lead you to be stubborn and angry at your employee, or when she disappears, you couldn’t even focus on your work. Why are you keeping her around you, Jaeyi? You divorced your husband, who gave you everything, to be with someone who will destroy your work. Are you blind?” This was a stab in the heart. She knew her father would be against this relationship, but used it against her. That was too much. Everything was always around Youngmin, no matter what. Youngmin this, Youngmin that, Youngmin, Youngmin, Youngmin. She hated it. She hated the name, the face, the person, everything. She clenched her jaw and tried to calm down.
“I won’t go back with Youngmin, I already told you. You need to accept it, Dad. I don’t love him, I don’t want to see him, I want nothing from him. I never asked him to give me everything. I will fight for my company, and I don’t care if you think I have the capacity or not. Seulgi had a hard past, and I will make sure her name won’t be soiled. I don’t want your support. If Youngmin wants so bad to destroy this, then be it, but I will never be with him, and I will choose Seulgi no matter the ending.” She said with a sharp, cold tone, leaving no space for doubt. Taejoon uncrossed his legs and straightened his body. Jaeyi pushed a button that made her father more vigilant, less confident. He looked at her with rage and challenge. He smirked and looked at the door.
“I can’t wait to see that, Jaeyi. You were my favorite daughter, always so obedient, so smart, so easy. You were always better than your sister in everything. You surpassed her even in marriage, wouldn’t it be too sad to lose that?” The CEO furrowed her eyebrow and closed her eyes. She couldn’t bear her father talking like that about her sister. Everything was a competition to him, and she couldn’t stand that. Jena was her sister, her second half, someone she should see as a support, not as a competitor. She slowly opened her eyes and sighed. Her father was still here, sitting on the sofa, body straight, but his lips drew an amused smile.
“If you have nothing else to say, you can leave. I have a lot of work to do.” Her father took it as a win and stood up.
“Of course! Well, good luck, but think twice. Seulgi’s case will only destroy this agency into pieces.” He smiled at her and left the room without looking back. When the door closed, Jaeyi let out a loud groan. She felt a weight on her eyes, something she couldn’t fight against. She let her eyelid close by itself. It felt exhausting; she wanted to run away from this country and never come back. She would take Heeyoung with her and would say goodbye to this life, far away from Youngmin and her family. Just the thought of it made her happy. The USA should be good, or maybe somewhere in Europe? The sudden knock brought Jaeyi back to reality. She opened her eyes and stood up to open the door.
“Ms. Yoo,” said Mr. Kim with an unsure tone. Jaeyi didn’t give him her usual soft gaze; she even ignored him since her aunt told her everything. She let the door open and walked over to her desk, sitting in her chair. The assistant closed the door behind him and scratched the back of his neck. The CEO didn’t look at him; she couldn’t. She cleared her throat and spoke with a cold tone.
“You are fired, Mr. Kim, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you the reason. I’m disappointed, I trusted you a lot, and to think since the start…” She couldn’t end her sentence; she couldn’t even look at him. Her heart clenched; it still hurt like she had just found out about the betrayal. The man said nothing for a second, but managed to swallow his shame.
“I’m sorry, Jaeyi. You know, it was the deal. I could be your assistant, and in return, I would give him all the information he wanted. Thank you for everything. I only hope for the best. I didn’t lie when I said I consider you like my daughter.” He bowed one last time and left the room. Jaeyi didn’t notice if he looked at her one last time or not; she just waited for the door to be closed again. She let out a sigh and brought her hand to her chest, where her heart was. She didn’t feel the pain, and maybe it was because she got used to it. She turned on her computer and started to work seriously.
After all, she had a scandal to handle, and it was about someone she loved.
She couldn’t let it pass like this, and she also couldn’t let the other information see the light.
She couldn’t lose Seulgi.
The statement was published at ten in the morning, and the reactions were divided, but with each hour that passed, people only felt sorry for Seulgi. After all, she grew up without a father, and the public opinion became more and more positive and supportive of the actress. Jaeyi felt relieved as she watched the reactions unfold. She couldn’t do much anyway for this case. She only needed one thing: a new lawyer.
She couldn’t call the Kang family for this case, it was too dangerous, and she didn’t trust them at all. She thought for hours and even started to regret ignoring all the lawyers she had met before. But could she really blame herself? After all, her past self couldn’t see the future. Then, she remembered one of her talks with Youngmin, how he didn’t stop complaining about his rival being almost better than him. She took her phone and called her sister. She forgot the name of that lawyer, but she was sure her sister would find him in no time. After some minutes, her sister came to her office and hugged her as soon as she saw her.
“Dad told me for this morning, I hope you are ok. I wanted to come, but Dad gave me all his patient. I’m listening, what do you need? I will help you as much as I can.” Jena said softly as she sat on the sofa. She didn’t take her gaze off her younger sister, even though they still had a lot to work on between them; she was always worried about Jaeyi. She wished she could be closer to her, to help her more often. Jena never saw how enough she was and never noticed how grateful her sister was to have her. They were both important to each other, but they both had a hard time expressing it. Jaeyi sat beside her and hugged her again. Her sister didn’t ask her anything, and she instinctively hugged back.
“Sorry, I’m going to ask too much, again,” Jaeyi whispered. Her sister only hummed positively as if she didn’t mind. “Do you remember the man who was the rival of the Kang? Youngmin always said they were almost as good as him.” Jena put her hand on her sister’s head and started to stroke her hair.
“Yes, it’s Hung Youngjae, why? You want to change your lawyer?” Jaeyi raised her head and nodded.
“I can’t trust the Kang family anymore. Can you send me his contact? I need to see him fast, it’s about the scandal.” Her sister nodded fast.
“Of course, anything! I didn’t know the Kang had something to do with everything. Mr. Kang loved you a lot, and Jungsu was always loyal to you.” Jaeyi sighed loudly and looked at the floor. It was true that the Kang always loved her, and Jungsu was always here for her, but again, Youngmin and Mr. Kim were always there for her, and it didn’t stop them from betraying her.
“We never know, Jena. By the way, did you tell anybody that Seulgi lived with me?” Her younger sister looked at her, surprised, and shook her head violently.
“Why would I do that? Be serious, Jaeyi. Dad would kill you if he knew this detail. I told no one, not even my assistant.” This made Jaeyi confused. If Jena wasn’t the one, then how did Youngmin know? “You seemed confused? You expect me to say this to Dad? I thought you trusted me? Don’t tell me you tested my loyalty like this, Jaeyi?” She stood up and sat in her chair, avoiding her sister. She didn’t want to fight or scream, especially not against her sister. She heard a bitter laugh.
“You tested me, right? Unbelievable. And I, who thought you really trusted me.” The CEO could feel the pain in her voice; it passed through her chest, and she bit her lips as the shame started to wake up.
“I didn’t mean to, Jena. I just didn’t know who to trust anymore since someone in the agency was the spy. I couldn’t even say anything to Mr. Kim, and thank god I didn’t because he was the spy. Please, try to understand me. Youngmin literally threatened Seulgi and is ready to destroy this agency if needed. He is the one who created this scandal. I’m confused because if you aren’t the one who said to Father, then who told him Seulgi was living with me?” Jena froze in her spot and stared at Jaeyi, completely taken aback.
“What do you mean Mr. Kim was the spy?” Jaeyi swallowed hard and explained to her sister the situation in detail, not forgetting anything. Jena stayed silent for a moment, seeming completely taken aback by the news.
“I’m in shock. I thought the Kim were trustworthy. Fuck, that’s annoying as fuck. Did Youngmin take care of Heeyoung when Seulgi was with you?” The youngest sister frowned. She couldn’t believe her question, to point out her daughter like this. It annoyed her.
“You think my daughter said this to her father?” The oldest shrugged and nodded.
“Well, think deeply, Youngmin scares your daughter a lot. He could have pressured her to tell him everything. So, did he take care of Heeyoung when Seulgi was with you?” Jaeyi stayed still in her place, feeling the cold taking over her body. She couldn’t answer the question; the mere thought of Youngmin hurting Heeyoung made her see red. “I will take your silence as a yes. Jaeyi, you should stop ignoring the problem between Heeyoung and Youngmin. I know you are scared, but Mom was also scared, and look at us. Weren’t you the one who feared not being here for your daughter?” The question made Jaeyi look down. “You aren’t alone, now. Seulgi is here too. I’m sure she considers Heeyoung as her own daughter.”
This comment did something inside Jaeyi, something warm, overwhelming. She felt the tear going up, but tried to contain it. Jena smiled at her and bowed her head. “I will pick Heeyoung up today, you don’t need to worry,” she said before leaving the office.
The CEO stayed still, staring at the door, until she heard her phone ring once. She looked at the notification and saw her sister’s contact with all the information about the lawyer she had asked for. She smiled and thanked her. Her sister was right, she should stop running away from the problem between Youngmin and Heeyoung, but she didn’t know how to speak to her daughter about this. She breathed and closed her eyes for a moment. She had a lot of things to do in the following days, and she needed to execute her plan in no time.
If she wanted to save everything, she needed to face Youngmin more seriously than the last time.
It was the start of the evening, and Jaeyi finally stepped out of her office. The day was long, exhausting, and hard. Even though Seulgi’s scandal was controlled rapidly, the investors were more annoyed than the public and asked for a lot of reassurance from Jaeyi. They admitted that the company was doing better than last year, but the scandal impacted the share, and, of course, they were concerned. The CEO tried her best all afternoon to convince them that everything would be fine and that everything was under control. The investors asked a few more questions, but ended up believing and trusting the woman. Jaeyi felt satisfied with her work and left her office with a happy smile.
She had sent a message minutes ago to Seulgi saying she’ll be there soon. The actress only said she was in the hall with Byeong, waiting for her, and so the CEO walked toward the hall with an impatience feeling to see the woman again after a long day. It didn’t take long for the older woman to find the childhood friends sitting on a bench. She smiled but didn’t interfere. The youngest didn’t notice her yet, and she seemed to be too into her conversation. Jaeyi hid herself not far from them and waited a little. She knew spying wasn’t good, but she couldn’t help it.
“So, Jaeyi opened up to you, right? You must know why she divorced and all.” Byeong said with a curious tone. She heard Seulgi sigh in tiredness, which made Jaeyi smile weakly.
“I won’t say anything, Byeong. That’s not your business! You are being a little too nosy right now.” The actress’s voice was serious, sharp, leaving no space for arguing, and Byeong groaned.
“You are so serious! She won’t know anyway. I’m just curious cause before her divorce, she was chill, you know. I never met her husband before that day, but people always said he was kind and the perfect man. The divorce was so sudden, so I’m curious.” Jaeyi leaned her head to see their face. The actress looked at her friend with a deadpan face while Byeong rolled his eyes at her reaction.
“Byeong, it’s a no. Some things aren’t meant to be said to others, and it’s one of them. Even though I know you won’t tell her, I just can’t share. It’s too personal, too not your business.” Jaeyi slid down the wall and embraced her knees. She felt weird. Maybe she couldn’t believe that Seulgi didn’t say anything, or perhaps she expected her to say this to someone, but seeing her not do it made her feel relieved. She didn’t even notice the tear that fell on her eyes until she saw a wet spot on her arm.
“I see. You never change, it’s good to know. At least, can I know if she is a good kisser?” The question made Jaeyi let out a breathy laugh and wipe her tears. “Gosh, you are so annoying right now! When is Jaeyi coming? I can’t stay a second longer beside you!” The CEO stood and cleaned her outfit, making herself presentable. She got out of her hidden spot, and after only five seconds, Seulgi turned her head, making eye contact with Jaeyi. The older woman swore she saw her face become brighter when she noticed her.
“Jaeyi! You’re finally here, please let’s leave now, I can’t stay any longer beside him.” Seulgi said as she stood up and walked toward her. Byeong followed her and shook his head with a furrowed brow.
“Yah! I stayed with you all day! This is how you thank me? Ungrateful!” The younger woman gasped and turned her head fast, arguing with the man. Jaeyi only watched them with amusement. They looked like sibling fighting playfully, something she had never really experienced with her sister, and found it funny how two people who didn’t even share the same blood could act like real siblings. Suddenly, Jaeyi laughed, making the two friends stop.
“Why are you laughing?!” The actress said with her brows furrowed.
“Because you’re both ridiculous. Can we go now?” Seulgi nodded and waved at Byeong goodbye.
The actress stayed silent as she followed the CEO, and Jaeyi didn’t feel the need to speak or fill the silence. It felt right, no awkwardness, no coldness, just a comfortable and comprehensive silence. They were both tired, and the older woman could see it on the face of the youngest. Her walk was slower than usual, and her eyelids were half closed as if they had no energy left to stay fully open. Jaeyi’s gaze went to the actress’s hand with a desire to touch it. She always found her hand pretty, long, and somehow attractive. She finally took her hand and intertwined it with hers. She couldn’t believe this simple gesture made her a little anxious, as if she was afraid to be rejected even though they had kissed last night. Seulgi didn’t react much; she just gripped her hand tightly without saying anything. During the drive, there was no difference. The silence was still there, and their hands were still intertwined, even though Jaeyi broke the hold when she needed to use the gearbox and went back searching for Seulgi’s hand.
Arriving in front of Jena’s building, she stopped her car and looked at Seulgi. She needed to speak about something with the actress, and she found the moment perfect for this. The lack of action from Jaeyi made the actress look at her confusedly.
“I have something to ask you.” She begun. The air suddenly became heavy as the suspense hung in there. The actress only nodded, motioning for her to continue. The CEO took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“Did Heeyoung tell you something about her father? I need to know everything, Seulgi.” The actress frowned weakly and said nothing for a few seconds. The silence only made the older woman frustrated, as the anxiety slowly started to manifest. She tapped her hands on the wheel in a fast rhythm.
“The day we fought, your daughter told me that she hated her father indirectly. She spoke about a book that your sister lent her, which described a dysfunctional family, and she identified with one of the characters because they shared a similar experience. I didn’t ask about the title or for more details. I told her to tell you everything, but.” Seulgi stopped short. Jaeyi opened her eyes and looked at her. She seemed hesitant as if the next thing she was going to say might hurt her.
“Just say it, Seulgi. Even if it hurt me.” The actress’s gaze went down to her hand, and she sighed.
“She said she didn’t see the utility of telling you everything when you let her father take care of her for weeks when she tells you she was scared of him. I couldn’t reply to her because it’s not my role to explain the complexity of the situation.” This was the second stab she got today. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked at the actress who was smiling shyly. “Your daughter is soon a teenager, Jaeyi. You can’t hide everything from her; it will only confuse her. You should start explaining one or two things, so she could understand your decision. I’m sure she would love that and trust you more.”
Jaeyi said nothing for a moment, too deep in her thoughts. She tried to swallow the information, and a lot of questions started to germinate in her head. She didn’t know how to discuss it with her daughter or explain everything. Wasn’t Heeyoung too young for this? She never wanted her daughter to be in the middle of adult affairs. Heeyoung always talked highly about her father, and she didn’t want to ruin that for her or her relationship with her father. She never truly imagined Youngmin being mean to their daughter; every time they were together, they seemed so happy. She never found the strength to destroy it, her illusion. Jaeyi rested her head on the back seat and sighed. She was tired. Her life was never at peace, and the little happiness she could ever have was destroyed in no time.
She felt a soft touch on her cheek. It was light, slow, and maybe a little hesitant, but the touch had something tender, as if touching her was sacred. Jaeyi felt her stomach go upside down. She looked at the woman beside her and leaned her head on the touch. She knew Seulgi was someone she could trust, but a doubt gripped her. The fear was still here, and maybe this time it wasn’t really about trust, but about judgment. She never asked for help when it came to her motherhood. No, it was deeper; she wished to have help, but couldn’t get it. So, she never learned to ask for help, and maybe it was an error.
Seulgi was staring at her. She said nothing as if she knew what was happening in the older woman’s mind. She didn’t rush her or ask anything. She just sat still and waited patiently. Her touch never left Jaeyi’s cheek, and her eyes weren’t filled with judgment. Now that she thought about it, the younger never judged her in any of her decisions. She just supported silently.
“I-” Jaeyi pronounced the letter and stayed silent for a moment again. She was still hesitant, but so desperate at the same time. The fear and the want were fighting endlessly in her mind, making her head hurt. She swallowed hard and played with her fingers. A rock started to form in her chest, and she felt the air being a weight on her, making everything hardly breathable.
“Jaeyi, you are overthinking. Don’t let your fear win; it never ends well. Believe me.” Her tone was soft, yet firm. Enough to pull Jaeyi out of her thoughts. The actress took Jaeyi’s head in her hands and delicately caressed her right cheek with her thumbs. This small gesture was enough to make the unbearable feeling disappear and stop her inner fight. Without even being conscious, as if her mind gave up, she let the words slip out of her mouth.
“I don’t know how to speak about this with Heeyoung. I don’t even know how to react or what to do. I’m just… just afraid of doing it wrong and not finding the right words. I don’t want to… to make the same mistake as my mother.” Her voice came as a whisper. She was tired emotionally, and she underwent it suddenly. An intense weight was on her eyelids, causing her to double her effort to stay awake. Seulgi observed her, and Jaeyi could see the worries in her eyes.
“You won’t make the same mistake, Jaeyi. It must be hard, and you might be afraid of what your daughter may say, but you shouldn’t think too much about it. Your daughter is someone smart, and I’m sure she’ll understand everything if you are honest with her. She will be honest in return. Just so you know, I’m here too, Jaeyi. If you need anything, just tell me.” The older woman smiled sincerely. The actress always has the right word to reassure her. She stared at the youngest and slowly looked down at her lips. She wished she could kiss her a second time, but it felt too greedy and too soon. She whispered a thank you and placed her hand on the car door handle. Before she could even open the door, Seulgi took her wrist, making Jaeyi turn her head toward her, confused.
“Let me drive after, you seem very tired.” Jaeyi wasn’t the type to let others drive her car, but Seulgi wasn’t wrong. She could feel her eyes closing slowly by themselves, and sighed. She nodded and left the car to pick up Heeyoung.
She didn’t take a long time. She didn’t speak to her sister that much; she wanted to go home as soon as possible, and her energy wasn’t even here. She felt drained, and her sister seemed to notice it. Heeyoung didn’t say much when she saw her mother as if she knew Jaeyi had a hard day.
The drive also went silently. Jaeyi felt a little weird to be in the passenger seat, but seeing Seulgi drive was a new view she didn’t know she needed to experience. The actress’s posture was relaxed, with one hand on the wheel, and her gaze never left the road. She found her pretty, as she could see the night lighting from the lamp passing through her face, highlighting her facial features for a few seconds. Jaeyi bit one of her fingers and rested her head on the window. She didn’t even pay attention to the city blurring, not when every second her gaze went systematically to the woman beside her.
After a moment, without even knowing it, she fell asleep. She didn’t feel the need to enjoy the calm moment as if she knew she would experience this tomorrow and the other days that would come.
Deep down, she knew Seulgi didn’t have the desire to run away and would stay beside her, no matter what.
The next day was calm. No new scandal, no big emergency to handle. Seulgi insisted on maintaining her schedule, arguing that she couldn’t hold a production like this. Even though the CEO wanted the actress to have at least the weekend for herself, she knew the youngest was right. So, she let her work and handle her public image. At first, Jaeyi was stressed. It was the first scandal of Seulgi’s career, and the CEO was afraid of the actress’s words or moves. She stayed all day with a knot in her stomach, her finger twitching every time her assistant entered her office. The only thing that made her forget about everything was her daughter. She stayed in her office all day, and when she felt her mother too tense, she started to speak, making the atmosphere more enjoyable for both of them.
Unsurprisingly, Seulgi managed everything well. No bad move, no wrong words, just her honesty and calmness. She didn’t speak much about her past, but enough for people to like her more. Her reputation has not been damaged at all, quite the opposite, more people got curious about the actress. Jaeyi felt relieved when her assistant did his report for the day. On a normal day, she would have asked the PR team to push Seulgi into the spotlight, but she couldn’t. Not because she wanted to sabotage her, never in her life would she do that, but because she knew what kind of other scandals could fall on them. She tried her best to dampen the damage.
Nevertheless, Seulgi wasn’t the only person who caused Jaeyi stress. Something else was on her mind, something she couldn’t stop overthinking about, imagining every scenario possible and imaginable. It was something that slowly opened the door to insanity. She tried to find all the right words, sentences, and reactions, but it seemed so impossible to her. She was on the verge of asking Seulgi to do it in her place, but she couldn’t because it was her role to discuss it. It was her history, her feeling, and her role to protect her daughter even if the death was the finality. Throughout the day, she would occasionally glance at her daughter with soft eyes. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t excited to finish her work and go back home.
Because she knew this evening would be unbearable.
As if life were against her, the day went by quickly, and maybe it was because Jaeyi tried her best to be as busy as possible, even though her mind wasn’t always with her. She went home a little later than usual, but the sun was still out as they were in the middle of summer. The mother and daughter found Seulgi already at home, preparing dinner for them. When she saw them, she smiled brightly and welcomed the little family.
“Hey girls, how was your day?” Heeyoung threw her bag on the sofa and ran to hug the actress tightly. “Oh wow, I see someone missed me,” Seulgi said with a laugh. The older woman watched them silently as she sat in the chair behind the island kitchen. She liked to see the closeness between the actress and her daughter; they seemed so close, and if Jaeyi wasn’t in love with the woman, she would probably be jealous.
“Stop smiling like a dumbass and tell me about your day.” The voice sounded closer than she expected, making her jump. “I wasn’t smiling!” She defended herself. Seulgi chuckled and nodded.
“Yes, of course, whatever makes you happy.” Jaeyi felt her face burn and dropped her gaze to her hands, which were busy playing with her shirt. “My day went well. Just more stressful than usual.” Heeyoung sat next to her mother and nodded as if she were a witness.
“Mom was really deep into her thoughts today.” Jaeyi furrowed her brows and pinched slightly her daughter’s arms as a warning. “Ow, it’s hurt, Mom.” The little girl pouted as she caressed the painful spot. The actress only laughed at the scene, making Heeyoung furrow her eyebrows.
Seulgi put down the last plate and sat in her usual chair, face to the Yoo family. The girls ate with a more joyful energy than in the last days. Heeyoung started to speak about a movie she saw with her aunt, and her opinion led to a debate, especially between the mother and daughter. Seulgi only watched them; her gaze stayed longer on the older woman. Jaeyi felt her eyes, and sometimes she looked back at her with a seductive smile. She liked to see the actress flustered and secretly play around just to see it. When dinner finished, Heeyoung went to her bedroom, saying she wanted to finish a book before sleeping.
The two women were now alone. The kitchen was cleaned in no time as they helped each other, and they both sat on the sofa. Seulgi let out a tired sigh and closed her eyes.
“I hate journalists so much, or whatever. They asked me so many questions.” Jaeyi smiled and came closer to her. She didn’t touch her. She just stared at her, feeling privileged to be near the woman.
“You did a good job, better than I expected.” The actress looked at her and smiled in gratitude.
“Thank you, Ms. CEO. Your opinion matters a lot.” The older woman laughed at the half-teasing, half-serious tone. After a few seconds, Seulgi took a really serious tone as she asked the forbidden question. “Did you speak to your daughter?”
The question made Jaeyi freeze in her place. She scratched her neck and shook her head weakly as if she were ashamed. Well, she was. It felt stupid to be so unsure about a talk. So stupid when the person was her daughter. But, somehow, it felt like she was running straight to hell.
“I thought about it all day, but I didn’t find the courage or the words. It feels so stupid.” She brought her elbow to her knees and hid her face in her hands. After a few seconds of silence, she felt a touch behind her ear. She raised her head and met Seulgi’s eyes. They were full of kindness, a gentleness that attacked the heart right away.
“It’s not stupid, Jaeyi. You are just afraid of what you’ll find out, and it’s normal. We speak about your daughter, after all, it’s not anyone. But you need to do it. It’s important, you know that. If you want, I can be here.” The older woman stared at the floor and thought for a moment. Seulgi’s idea wasn’t stupid; her presence always brought a calmness, a strong support. Jaeyi’s gaze went to the actress and nodded.
“I would love that.” Seulgi smiled weakly and stood up. Without thinking, she took the actress’s wrist instinctively. Her foot was already tapping the floor, and she could feel the sweat on her hands. She wasn’t ready; she already felt nauseous as her stomach tightened and her heart started to beat too hard on her chest, filling her ears. The younger one seemed to notice the woman's stressed state and pushed away the hand that Jaeyi was biting unconsciously. She took the older woman’s head between her hands and forced her to look at her.
“Jaeyi, you need to calm down first, ok? Everything is going to be fine. Stop overthinking, you can do it, even if your communication is awkward. It’s going to be okay.” Her thumbs caressed the CEO’s cheeks softly. The gentle touch had an effect. Jaeyi’s breath became more regulated, and she felt less sick. “Can we go now?” The CEO stayed still for a minute and then nodded slowly.
Jaeyi walked slowly toward her daughter’s bedroom. Each step felt heavy as if she were pulling with her the Sisyphus’s rock, and the desire to run away gripped her. A touch went to her hand, it was warm, delicate. A silent, supportive touch. Jaeyi stayed in front of the door for a minute. She breathed deeply and looked at Seulgi, searching for support. She found more than support; the woman looked at her with love, and her eyes whispered that everything would be okay. She finally gathered all her courage and knocked at the door before opening it.
Heeyoung was on her bed with a book in her hands. She turned her head and frowned as she noticed the two women with a grave facial expression. She closed her book and sat down on the bed. The little girl only looked at them, patiently waiting for them to speak. The atmosphere felt strange, as if nobody knew what to expect in the next seconds, but knew the talk would be a turning point. Jaeyi released her hand from Seulgi’s and knelt in front of Heeyoung. Her daughter needed to tilt her head slightly down to meet her eyes. She took a deep breath and, with an unsure tone, she started to speak.
“I wanted to speak about something, Heeyoung. It’s really an important subject that I should have spoken about way before.” Heeyoung’s gaze went on Seulgi and then on her mother. She looked lost and started to caress her thumbs fast, an anxious gesture. “A-About what?” The little girl asked with a stutter. Out of instinct, Jaeyi took her daughter’s hand and stroked it softly as a reassurance.
“About your father. I know you hate being with him only, but I never asked you why. I always thought you would tell me if anything bad was happening. It was stupid since you always told that your father was scary.” Something in Heeyoung’s eyes shifted. It wasn’t tender or worried, no, it was dark and resentful.
“Yeah, you never took the hint and left me days with him.” Jaeyi dropped her head and closed her eyes for a second. She understood her daughter’s feelings and couldn’t blame her. It was her mistake. She looked back at her daughter and smiled apologetically.
“I’m sorry, Heeyoung. I should have been a little more vocal about it. If I could have the parental authority fully, you wouldn’t have to be with your father. You know, Heeyoung, your father is a good lawyer, and a divorce isn’t only about separation. You were also a subject, and the judge needed to decide with whom you should stay. If I prevent your father from seeing you or taking care of you, he could file a complaint against me, and I would lose you. It’s complicated.” Heeyoung didn’t bulge, and she looked at her mother. She seemed to love the sincerity and the explanation from her mother. She sometimes frowned as she tried to understand everything, but she didn’t ask for more explanation. She nodded and swung her lips left to right.
“Why did you divorce Dad?” She asked it slowly, completely unsure if it was a great idea to even ask. Jaeyi breathed and smiled with sadness. She knew one day she had to explain to her daughter her story. She turned her head to Seulgi, who was leaning on the wall, and the actress gave a little head up as encouragement. She looked back at her daughter.
“Well, your father and I were always close since we were kids. He was always supportive and great with me. He knew all my dreams and goals. Even though he seemed like a perfect man, he betrayed me and hurt me a lot emotionally. I couldn’t stay with someone who lied a lot.” Heeyoung nodded slowly. She didn’t ask more questions even though she looked like she wanted to, but it was still enough to fill her curiosity.
“I see, Dad was never a good person.” She said this with disappointment, as if the reality just slapped her. It broke Jaeyi’s heart after hearing such a disappointing tone. She looked lost and quite hesitant about something. Jaeyi caught the little twitch on her lip; it was subtle and fast, but she caught it.
“Heeyoung, just tell me whatever is going on. I will do everything to protect you, everything. Just let it out.” Her daughter’s gaze went between the two women in the room, and then dropped on her hand where her mother was still holding her. Jaeyi patiently waited for her daughter to open up, not wanting to hurry her, even though the frustration started to grow in her. After a few minutes, Heeyoung opened up.
“At first, it was soft, he just didn’t stop speaking about my grades and my hobbies. He wanted me to be the best everywhere and didn’t stop comparing me with someone he knew. He told me I must be a lawyer like him, so I could inherit his law firm. I never really took his remark seriously; I thought it was his way to motivate me. But then, he suddenly changed; he became more aggressive and demanding. He is obsessed with everything I do. He became close to my teacher, and he wanted me to take extra lessons in every course where I didn’t have a perfect score.” She stopped talking for a second.
“He doesn’t let me sleep until I complete his tests, he doesn’t stop screaming at me every time I ask a question when I didn’t understand something, and when I don’t get the grade he wants, he punishes me.” Jaeyi dropped her hands and looked at her daughter with a terrifying gaze. A rock was well installed in her throat, making it hard to speak and ask the question she wanted to. The silence was thick, too uncomfortable for everyone. Seulgi didn’t move but seemed to understand that the mother needed a little help. She looked at Heeyoung softly, and with a soft and reassuring tone, she spoke.
“What kind of punishment does he give you, Heeyoung?” The little girl avoided the two women and stood up. Jaeyi sensed the thing that she was scared of coming right in her face and clenched her teeth. Her daughter seemed too tired to even speak about her father’s actions and chose to just show. She turned around, showing her back, and took off her top, letting the cool air blush her skin.
The two women gasped as they saw bruises on her skin. There were a lot of cuts, her back was mostly red, and Jaeyi, with wide eyes, skimmed past the bruise. She almost couldn’t believe it. Her fingers were trembling in a way that anyone would notice. Her eyes and fingers went until the end of her daughter’s back, and she noticed a burn mark on her side. Her breath caught and touched it, making Heeyoung squirm in place. It looked recent.
“Why did he-” She stopped herself. Her voice wasn’t stable; her body was trembling even on the inside. She felt a painful lump in her throat. She wanted to scream, to break everything, to cry in rage. She couldn’t even find the courage to continue her question. She heard a sniff and raised her head.
“I-I’m sorry, Mom, I broke our promise. I didn’t mean, really, but Dad was so… out of himself.” Jaeyi pulled out her touch and stood up. She couldn’t stay in the room a second more. It felt too small, as if the wall was closing in on her, and her head was too painful as the thoughts flooded in. Her stomach didn’t only hurt, she felt it physically twisting, and something rose to her throat. Her daughter sensed her mother’s movement and turned around fast. Her face was full of tears, and she looked like she had done something bad. Jaeyi knew she shouldn’t have left the room; she should have hugged her, reassured her, but she couldn’t. It felt too much. Her emotions were blurred; she felt rage mixed with a deep disappointment, not against Youngmin, but against herself.
She never noticed the bruises. What a failure.
Seulgi watched Jaeyi run away from the room and said nothing. She sighed and walked toward Heeyoung. She looked lost, sad, and scared. The actress took the little girl in her arms and stroked her hair, making sure not to touch her back too much. The moment Heeyoung rested her head on the woman’s shoulder, she let out a sob. It was a painful one, the one you let out after holding too much in you. She didn’t stop apologizing as if she were at fault, breaking Seulgi’s heart. The actress tightened her embrace.
“It’s okay, Heeyoung, you didn’t do anything. It’s not your fault. You just acted with the goal to survive; you did nothing wrong. Your mom just needs some time to swallow the information, but you can be sure she isn’t angry at you. Nobody is angry at you, Heeyoung, you did what was best for you. You should rest now; you were really brave.” Heeyoung nodded and sniffed multiple times before going to her bed. Seulgi stayed with her a little more. She stroked her hair, waiting for the girl to calm down, and from time to time she kissed her forehead. When she felt her breath slow down and heard no sniff, she moved out of the bed slowly, trying not to wake her up.
She closed the bedroom door slowly and walked fast toward the living room in search of Jaeyi. The piece was empty, but she noticed a glass half full of alcohol. She sighed and entered Jaeyi’s room. The moment she opened the door, she heard the sound of someone throwing up, and she ran to the private bathroom. She didn’t say a word. The other woman raised her head from the toilet and stood up with a weak balance, making Seulgi come closer to her in case she fell. Jaeyi cleaned her face and mouth with water, the actress still beside her in case the CEO needed something. She looked fragile; her body was still trembling, and she didn’t seem to be conscious of her surroundings. She was still in her rage, Seulgi could see it in her watery eyes.
Seulgi didn’t leave the older alone. Jaeyi was now sitting on her bed with an empty, tired look, and her body wasn’t moving; only her eyelids were closing from time to time to hydrate her eyes. It split Seulgi’s heart to see the older in this state. She didn’t only look vulnerable, but weak, empty, so out of herself. It was worse than seeing her crying. It felt like any words wouldn’t be enough to repair the broken pieces, and the actress felt helpless. She was always the one who found the right word to make her feel better, but now, she had no idea what to say. So, she sat beside her and intertwined their hands.
Jaeyi’s gaze went to her, and she put down her head on the younger’s shoulder. They said nothing, they didn’t need to. They just needed the presence of each other.
“Sleep with me tonight, I don’t want to be alone. I feel like I would become insane if I stayed with my mind only.” Seulgi hummed positively and stroked her hair. After a moment, they were lying on the bed. Jaeyi’s head was resting on the crook of Seulgi’s neck while the actress still stroked her hair calmly. They didn’t speak for a while, just enjoying the warmth of the position, until Jaeyi broke the silence.
“I felt like I failed as a mother.” Then, she let out a breathy laugh. “I wonder if my mom feels like this, too.” She whispered in tiredness. Seulgi stopped her movement. Her last sentence felt like a wish and something deeper.
“You didn’t fail as a mother, Jaeyi. You can still protect your daughter. Now you can ask the judge to avoid as much as possible the contact between them since he is a danger to the child. You should rest, you’ve done enough. I’m proud of you.” She felt Jaeyi tighten her embrace and hid her head deeper into her neck. Seulgi kissed her head softly, adding reassurance. As time went by, she felt the breath of the older slow down slightly, and before Jaeyi fell asleep she spoke.
“Thank you for staying by my side, Seulgi.” And after a moment.
“Please, never leave me.” And in the final whisper.
“I love you.”
Seulgi froze. She didn’t move for a long time and didn’t even make a sound. Her heart stopped as she felt a heat on her face. She said it with so much honesty, so lovely. It took a couple of minutes for Seulgi’s brain to comprehend the situation and the words. She moved slightly to get a sight of the woman’s face. Jaeyi’s eyes were closed. Her face was relaxed and peaceful as she was in a deep sleep. She didn’t even wait for an answer, as if the confession wasn’t planned at all, and the actress smiled.
“I love you, too.”