Chapter Text
"Hope it's something good," Patch said cheerfully from the console, her antennae flicking with anticipation. Then she blinked, her eyes pulsing gold. "Oop—speaking of! Incoming communication from Elaris!"
"Maybe she finally finished her plan," Ratchet muttered, reaching over to open the channel.
Sure enough, a confident voice came through:
"All right, Rangers," Elaris said, calm and focused. "I think I have a plan for how to take down the Deplanetizer once and for all. By energizing the Hologuise Ratchet and Clank acquired from Gadgetron, they'll actually be able to become Captain Qwark for a short period of time. While in disguise, they should be able to get past the Deplanetizer's primary shields."
Ratchet raised an eyebrow, saying nothing—yet.
"From there," Elaris continued, "they'll need to access the Deplanetizer's Star Cracker room. The Deplanetizer uses a gravity stabilizer to position itself over its target. By extracting the stabilizer, the Deplanetizer will drift off-target and become vulnerable to our attack. Once Ratchet and Clank give the word, we'll activate our new Mag Boosters, flip the Deplanetizer, and save the galaxy!"
"Copy that, Elaris. We're on our way," Brax chimed in, and the comm line went silent.
Ratchet settled back into the pilot seat, starting the launch sequence. As the engines came to life and Kalebo III began shrinking behind them, she stared out at the stars for a moment, ears twitching slightly.
"...Not sure how I feel about this," she murmured.
Clank turned toward her, ever calm. "Oh?"
Patch's avatar on the consol looked at her in concern. "Something wrong, big sis?"
Ratchet exhaled through her nose, gripping the flight stick. "It's just… weird. It's been over a year since I've had a male body. And now the first time I get one back—even temporarily—it's Qwark. Of all people."
She gave a dry, humorless chuckle. "Talk about a downgrade."
Patch's eyes widened in alarm. "Oof. Yeah. That's, uh… that's super awkward."
"Right?" Ratchet muttered. "I mean, I've spent months getting comfortable in my own skin. Owning who I am now. And suddenly, I'm supposed to step into the skin of the guy who sold us out and pretend to be him like it's no big deal. Not exactly my idea of a healthy psychological exercise."
She paused, shrugged. "Still… galaxy's gotta come first. If this gets us close enough to shut that thing down, I can suck it up and deal with a little identity whiplash."
Clank nodded slowly. "You have grown a great deal, Ratchet. A disguise—no matter how distasteful—cannot change who you truly are."
Ratchet looked over at him, a faint smile tugging at her lips. "Thanks, pal. I know. Just… needed to say it out loud."
Patch pulsed with warm golden light. "You've totally got this! And don't worry, I'll make sure Clank zaps you if you start talking like Qwark."
Ratchet laughed, this time genuinely. "Heh. Deal. One heroic monologue and you fry the ego right out of me."
With the course locked in, the stars blurred into streaks as their ship launched into hyperspace—toward the Deplanetizer, and what might be their final curtain call.
Once they reached the Deplanetizer and landed, Ratchet uploaded Patch to the device and stored her safely in the A.S.S. before stepping out. She headed straight for a raritanium deposit near the stairs on the left, cracking it open with a solid swing. Then she moved up the main staircase, smashing a few crates along the way before reaching the Gadgetron Vendor and logging in.
She grabbed two ammo upgrades, two rate-of-fire boosts, and two bonus bolts for the Doom Blades—unlocking two Blade Splitter mystery upgrades in the process. Next, she picked up three Area of Effect upgrades, three Holocard upgrades, and three Impact Damage upgrades for the Peacemaker, snagging four Thermal Targeting mystery upgrades along the way. Finally, she purchased two range upgrades, three ammo upgrades, and five Area of Effect upgrades for the Pixelizer HD, unlocking three Ammo Shark mystery upgrades before logging out.
"Better try out the Hologuise before moving forward," Ratchet said, noticing the next section required standing on a security checkpoint. She activated the disguise.
"Chiseled abs detected," the computer quipped as the door slid open.
Suddenly, Drek's voice blared over the loudspeaker: "Attention, Deplanetizer staff—if you see any intruders, please hit the 'kill intruders' button. It's the big red one that looks like all the other buttons. We definitely need better planning for the next Deplanetizer."
A Warbot nearby pressed the button. "Prepare for disintegration," it warned as alien swarmers dropped from the ceiling down the hall.
"Sanitation field activated," the computer announced, and a wave of energy swept through, vaporizing the swarmers.
Ratchet advanced, destroying crates that caused the hologuise to flicker and break. She reactivated it, jumped, and broke it again.
"Looks like if I attack or jump, I'll have to reapply the hologuise," she muttered. "At least it covers you well when it's on."
She snapped the disguise back on and stepped onto the next security pad.
"Hello, Captain Qwark—you look very heroic today," the computer said, opening the door.
Ratchet slipped down the hall and took the left path to where the swarmers had fallen. She waved through the forcefield at the Warbot.
"It's way more fun on the dark side, am I right?" she joked in Qwark's exaggerated voice.
"How's it going?" the Warbot asked, lowering the forcefield and turning—only to get trapped in a Groovibomb and shredded by Doom Blades before it could hit the kill button.
Ratchet scanned ahead and spotted another security pad. She reapplied the hologuise, stepped on it, and waited.
"Identification successful. Welcome, Captain," the computer said, sliding the door open.
Ratchet moved forward and spotted a ledge up ahead with a patrolling Warbot above and another stationed behind a forcefield at the far end. She waited just long enough for the patroller to turn its back, then leapt up, landing silently behind it. Without missing a beat, she reactivated the hologuise and strolled past.
"Please, no autographs," she quipped in Qwark's booming voice, giving a confident wave as she approached the forcefield.
"Hello, Captain," the Warbot said, lowering the field.
As soon as she passed through, Ratchet tossed a Groovibomb, shattering the hologuise but forcing both Warbots into a disco-fueled trance. Doom Blades followed instantly, slicing through them before either could react.
She glanced around—plush carpeting, too-big furniture, a giant screen playing looped propaganda. "Huh. Must be Drek's office," she muttered as the radio played in the background.
"And we're back with an update on Crisis in Solana!" Dallas Wannamaker's voice echoed from the speakers. "According to the latest from the Galactic Rangers, famed lunatic Dr. Nefarious has been revealed as the architect behind the assault."
Ratchet casually broke open a few crates, letting bolts scatter across the floor as the radio continued.
"Details are still scarce, but experts believe it may have something to do with the planetary conjunction set to take place in just a few hours. While this certainly seems like a good time to ask out that girl you've been pining over your entire life, President Phyronix has gone on record saying, 'The threat is under control and should be neutralized in a few hours.' Well, President Phyronix, in case you're wrong—Stacy, I've always loved you!"
Ratchet smirked. "Bold move, Dallas. Real subtle."
She activated the hologuise again and stepped onto the next security pad.
"Hello, Captain Qwark—you look very heroic today," the computer said, and the next door opened.
On the other side was a hallway with two floating platforms suspended over empty space and another Warbot behind a forcefield at the end. She waited for it to turn its back, then leapt to the second platform. Once there, she reactivated the disguise and gave another overly enthusiastic wave.
"Hey, fellas! Awesome day for a planet-smashing, am I right?!" she said, mimicking Qwark's over-the-top bravado.
"Hello, Captain Qwark," the Warbot said as it lowered the forcefield and casually turned to walk through the door beyond.
Ratchet followed quickly, reapplying the hologuise just before entering. She slipped through the next room, circling around to where a Warbot stood near a switch. Taking cover behind it, she silently lobbed another Groovibomb, buying enough time to unload Doom Blades into every enemy in the room before the switch could be touched.
"The door is locked. We should find another way through," Clank said, scanning the sealed exit.
"On it," Ratchet replied, spotting a ledge off to the side. She jumped up, smashing a few crates for good measure, then climbed a pillar marked with yellow handrails.
From the top of the pillar, Ratchet jumped to a handrail mounted on the wall and began shimmying along it to the right, legs dangling in the open air. She climbed up to the next rail, then again to the topmost one, moving as far right as the structure allowed. From there, she dropped down to the next rail and followed it again, descending another level and continuing her hand-over-hand crawl.
At the end of the lowest rail, she spotted another security switch—just as a door hissed open and a Warbot marched out. Ratchet froze, clinging silently as it scanned the area. Only when it turned away did she hoist herself up, toss a Groovibomb onto the platform, and follow up with a barrage of Doom Blades. The Warbot didn't stand a chance.
With the path clear, she stepped through the door, broke open a few crates, and activated the hologuise once more. The security pad lit up beneath her.
"Chiseled abs detected," the computer announced, unlocking the next door.
Ratchet rolled her eyes. "You're damn right."
She stepped out onto a catwalk, carefully following it until she was positioned directly above another switch—and another Warbot. Dropping down behind it, she launched another Groovibomb to cover the switch, then unleashed the Doom Blades, Raptor Launcher, and Heavy Bouncer in quick succession. Explosions filled the room as bolts rained like confetti.
Once the room was clear, she cracked open a few more crates and stepped through the next door, riding an elevator up to a new hallway. More crates waited at the top. She shattered them without breaking stride, activated the hologuise again, and stepped onto another security pad.
"Identification successful. Welcome, Captain," the computer chimed as the door slid open.
Ratchet strolled in, found yet another Warbot near a switch, and repeated her now-refined process—Groovibomb to lock it down, then a symphony of destruction: Doom Blades, Apocalypse Glove, and Zurkon Jr.
"You are dead, and now I am sad," Zurkon Jr. said, as the last bot collapsed in a heap of sparking metal.
With the room quiet, Ratchet looked around and spotted a gleaming Gold Bolt tucked on a distant ledge. Grinning, she made her way up a nearby ledge, then scaled a vertical set of blue handrails like a ladder. From there, she leapt across two moving platforms, landing finally on a ledge stacked with crates—and the Gold Bolt.
She reached out.
The instant her fingers brushed the bolt, it floated upward.
Then—without warning—twenty-seven more bolts erupted from her A.S.S., spiraling outward like a golden cyclone. They hovered in a wide ring around her, glowing silently, casting warm reflections over her fur. Clank stepped back, optics wide as gold light danced through the air in fluid, sweeping arcs.
"Ratchet…?" he said cautiously.
She didn't answer—her breath caught, her mind frozen. The bolts pulsed once.
And then, one by one, they phased into her.
No pain. Just… warmth.
Her Protosuit glowed brilliantly for a heartbeat—then cracked apart and dissolved into glittering dust. Ratchet gasped, floating back down to the ledge as she instinctively wrapped her arms around herself.
"…What… was that?" she whispered, looking down at her now bare body—natural once more, save for the ever-faithful A.S.S. at the base of her tail.
Clank stared, scanning her from head to toe. "I… do not know. But my sensors indicate something has changed. In you—and in your weapons."
Worried, Ratchet reached back and pulled out her Doom Blades. The ammo display blinked… then shifted to a glowing ∞.
Her eyes widened. Then she smirked.
"Well. Looks like we're done worrying about ammo."
"That," Clank said, "will be very helpful."
Ratchet then dropped down to the floor and headed through the next door, slipping on the Hologuise before stepping onto the security pad.
"Identification successful. Welcome, Captain," the computer chirped as the door slid open.
On the other side, three floating platforms hovered over a gap, Versamines buzzing lazily between them. Across the way, a warbot stood guard behind a forcefield. Ratchet crouched, watching carefully. She waited for the warbot to turn his back before leaping from one platform to the next, dodging the Versamines as she went.
She landed on the final platform, snapped the Hologuise back on, and struck a heroic pose.
"It's so much more fun on the dark side, am I right?" Ratchet said in her best exaggerated Qwark voice, waving stiffly.
"Hello, Captain Qwark," the warbot droned, lowering the forcefield without suspicion.
Ratchet dropped the act immediately, dual-wielding Buzz Blades and cutting him down before he could reach the switch—just as the Versamines exploded behind her.
Hologuise back on, she stepped onto the next pad.
"Hello, Captain Qwark—you look very heroic today," the computer said sweetly, opening the door.
Inside, Ratchet stepped onto a Magneboot path. Versamines floated nearby, but she knew better than to attack—doing so would break the illusion. Instead, she moved carefully, rounding a corner just in time to see a series of eight lasers deactivate one after the other. She followed them, matching the timing, then dodged another Versamine guarding four more lasers. One last corner brought her to a stretch of 18 lasers and another drifting mine.
She navigated the entire gauntlet with patience, eventually slipping behind a warbot near a switch. A well-placed Heavy Bouncer to the back made quick work of him. She grabbed the nearby raritanium deposit and continued into the hallway.
There, she logged into her Gadgetron account and quickly browsed the upgrade tree. She purchased an area-of-effect mod for the Pixelizer HD, along with four ammo upgrades—technically unnecessary now, but required to unlock the hidden mod further down the line. She shrugged. "Whatever gets us the good stuff."
Logging out, she reactivated the Hologuise and stepped onto the next security pad.
"Bulging pectorals detected," the computer announced. "Opening door."
Still disguised as Qwark, Ratchet stepped through into another chamber. She casually approached the central switch and tossed a Groovibomb onto it, dancing holographic figures springing up to keep any enemies from triggering it. Then she let the Doom Blades fly, slicing down the first wave of warbots.
"More warbots," Clank warned. "We must stop them from activating the sanitation field."
"I'm on it!" Ratchet called, ducking under a barrage of enemy fire. Another Groovibomb dropped onto the switch while she darted between cover, slicing and blasting with her Doom Blades. The second wave didn't stand a chance.
Finally, the room fell silent, save for the whir of machinery and the satisfying chime of scattered bolts.
"That Trespasser terminal should reveal the location of the gravity stabilizer," Clank said.
"Right." Ratchet stepped up to the console, reaching into her A.S.S. and pulling out the compact device that housed her AI companion. She held it up with a smirk. "Ready, little sis?"
"Ready, big sis!" Patch chirped, springing to life and uploading into the terminal with a cheerful hum.
Inside the system, Patch blinked into existence, her digital eyes scanning the terminal.
"Power ports at 3, 6, 8, and 11… outer ring's the only one on. And… blocker at 7. Hmm, not too bad," she chirped.
She zipped forward in a graceful arc, landing lightly at port 3. With a happy pulse, the port lit up.
"First one done!" she cheered, already zipping off toward port 6. That one lit up just as easily.
As she veered toward port 8, her antennae twitched. "Oop—blocker ahead at 7. Okay, gonna have to curve around that."
Patch pivoted smoothly, skating along the outer ring's edge and sliding past the blocker with ease.
"Can't block me that easy!" she giggled, tapping port 8 and then dashing to port 11.
With the final port glowing, Patch spun in place proudly. "How's that, big sis?" she asked, uploading herself back into the device.
"Great job, little sis," Ratchet said with a smile, glancing over the terminal screen. "Got it—looks like the gravity stabilizer is in the ship's core."
Before she could say more, a harsh tone cut through the air.
"Warning. Unauthorized Hologuise use detected," the computer blared.
Ratchet winced. "Uh-oh. Looks like the Hologuise won't fool them anymore."
Patch's voice crackled from the device. "Is it my fault? It happened right after I popped out!"
Ratchet shook her head. "Nah. Must've triggered something while I was poking around. I wasn't even using it while you were in there." She deactivated the hologram and slipped the device back into her A.S.S.
With no more sneaking around, Ratchet made her way back to the Magneboot path. Two flying warbots hovered in her way—but not for long. She whipped out the Sheepinator, grinning as they transformed into confused livestock mid-air and plummeted out of sight. With the area clear, she used her Swingshot to grapple across to the far side.
"Elaris! We're headed for the gravity stabilizer now!" she called into her communicator.
"Be careful, guys!" Elaris replied quickly. "And good luck!"
Ratchet stepped into the next chamber and jumped across three floating platforms. As she did, the computer chimed again.
"Attention all personnel. Please note that we are now on a communications blackout until deplanetization is complete. No calls, texts, or holo-messages until further notice."
"Guess we're going full silent mode," Ratchet muttered, landing on the final platform.
The next room was crawling with warbots. Ratchet tossed out a Groovitron and Zurkon Jr. to keep them busy, then picked off the distracted bots one by one with the Sheepinator—when Mr. Zurkon didn't beat her to it.
She moved swiftly into the hallway beyond, leaping over a sudden wall of fire. A flamethrower-wielding Blarg was waiting on the other side, but a single shot from the Peacemaker turned him into a bad memory. The Doom Blades made short work of the rest.
In the following chamber, she once again used Zurkon Jr. and a Groovibomb to draw the enemy's attention while sneaking in more Sheepinator shots—though more often than not, the Zurkons finished the job before she could pull the trigger.
When the last enemy fell and the room fell silent, Ratchet blinked.
"…Huh. Didn't even get scratched." She tilted her head, mildly impressed, then shrugged. "I'll take it."
With that, she approached the Gear Crank and gave it a firm turn, extending the bridge ahead.
"Attention all personnel. A memorial for Victor Von Ion has been set up in the deck seven utility closet," the computer droned as Ratchet made her way across the bridge. "Come and pay your respects to a fallen member of the team. Five bolts at the door."
Ratchet raised a brow. "Seriously? Charging people for a closet memorial? Classy."
Turret fire suddenly erupted—Ratchet dove forward and rolled, coming up with the Groovibomb in hand. She lobbed it with a flick of her wrist, and as the turrets began to dance, she followed up with a barrage from her Doom Blades, shredding them apart.
"You're all clear, guys!" Elaris said over comms. "Head for the gravity stabilizer—we'll get into position out here."
"Be careful in there, you two," Cora added.
"Yeah, try not to die or whatever," Brax said dryly.
Ratchet snorted. "Thanks for the heartwarming encouragement," she muttered, hopping up a stack of crates to a catwalk where a holocard gleamed. "Hey—last of the RYNO holocards. Once we hit Rilgar, we're getting ourselves a game-changer."
Without missing a beat, she led the way onward to the core elevator platform and descended into the heart of the ship.
"Rangers, come in," Ratchet said over the comms. "We're inside the core, heading toward the gravity stabilizer now. We'll have it shut down soon."
"Copy that, Ratchet," Brax replied. "Mag Boosters are prepped. Just give the word."
"You got it."
They reached the base, and Ratchet retrieved the device, tapping the button to project Patch's hologram.
"Alright, Ranger Patch," she said, voice calm but firm. "This is the big one. I need you in that computer to shut down the gravity stabilizer. No pressure—just the fate of the galaxy."
Patch stood at attention, her tiny face glowing with exaggerated determination. "Yes ma'am! Operation: Save the Galaxy is a go!" With a cheerful salute, she zipped into the system.
Inside the interface, Patch appeared mid-spin, her cyan eyes flaring with determination. "Power ports at 11, 12, 1, 2, and 4… outer ring's active only. Blockers at 1 and 6."
Her antennae twitched, and she grinned. "Blocker at 1 might mess with a laser… but I'm not a laser."
She zipped off—quick, nimble, and precise. Ports 11 and 12 lit up in rapid succession. She darted around the blocker at 1, tagging port 2 before pirouetting toward port 4. It lit up with a satisfying pulse.
"Warning. Gravity stabilizer deactivated," the computer announced as the stabilizer mechanism rose from its housing.
"Mission complete!" Patch chirped. "Gravity stabilizer is offline, big sis! Galaxy-saving achieved!"
Ratchet smiled proudly and gave a firm nod. "Nice work, Patch. Couldn't have done it without you."
"Anytime, big sis!" Patch beamed, glowing with joy as the hologram flickered and Ratchet stowed the device in her A.S.S.
"Remember, that core's nuclear—so be careful," Elaris said urgently over the comms.
"Yeah, yeah—handled," Ratchet replied, grabbing the stabilizer. But as she turned, her grip slipped and the component tumbled over the edge.
"What was that?!" Elaris's voice snapped through the communicator.
"Uh—nothing! Everything's great!" Ratchet said quickly, looking sheepish.
Clank raised an eyebrow, crossing his tiny arms before jabbing a finger behind her. "Ratchet!"
"Huh?" Ratchet spun around—only to see Qwark flying up on a jetpack, looming toward her.
"Greetings, cadet." Qwark boomed.
Ratchet smirked. "Really? You're crashing my party?"
"Get ready for a super-awesome hero attack!" he announced, lobbing a grenade that burst into a wide shockwave.
Ratchet rolled to the side, Doom Blades snapping into her hands with a metallic shnk.
"Let's make it rain!" Qwark shouted, unleashing a volley of explosives.
Ratchet sprinted through the chaos, blades slashing into him mid-air.
"Agh! Seriously?! Hey, not the face! This is the moneymaker!" Qwark cried, staggering back.
Grinning, Ratchet pulled a Groovibomb from her A.S.S. and tossed it at his feet.
Music blasted through the chamber. Qwark froze mid-step as the beat forced him into awkward gyrations.
"Oh, great. No one better be filming this! These moves aren't even mine! I've got way better ones!"
Ratchet took the opportunity to plant a Raptor Launcher round right in his head, though it did not take him out.
"Ugh! Okay, that one rung my bell a little!" He complained before he retaliated with a plasma shot that struck Ratchet cleanly in the side. She stumbled—then blinked.
No pain.
She ran her gloved hand along her flank. "Wait… nothing?"
Frowning, she recalled the surge of golden bolts from earlier. Unlimited ammo... and maybe more?
Another blast hit her square in the chest. She absorbed it like air.
"Invincible," she muttered, eyes narrowing with a mix of awe and amusement.
"See? That's how a real hero does battle! Did that one sting? It looked like it stung!" Qwark gloated.
Ratchet calmly raised the Plasma Slayer and fired twin energy arcs. They slammed into Qwark, sending him reeling.
"Ugh! No fair! I wasn't ready!"
Then Qwark grinned as he pulled out a familiar orb. "Have a Groovitron, on me!"
He tossed it down. Music surged.
Ratchet felt the rhythm pulse through her, but instead of locking up—she moved.
With practiced ease, she flowed with the beat—spinning, sliding, moving like it was second nature.
"Good thing I actually enjoy dancing," Ratchet said, twirling smoothly. "Taught myself how to adjust to a different center of gravity after the change. Fun way to get used to the new body."
She gave a playful spin and smirked. "Even got a high rank in Nebula's Dance-Off: Interstellar Showdown. And no, I'm not telling you my gamer tag or my placement."
Because I'm pretty sure Grim picked the name to humiliate me. QueenFlufftail. She thought as a small groan built in her throat but did not escape. And now I can't even change it. I'm ranked third. Third! He just had to pick something based on how fluffy my tail got after I became a girl. 'Queen' is fine, regal even. But Flufftail? Really? I get that I'm getting used to this body, but I still have a shred of pride left, Grim!
Grumbling under her breath, Ratchet pirouetted—this time with her Omnihammer in hand—and crushed the Groovitron with a single centrifugal slam.
"Enough of that."
"Grrrgh! Say hello to my little friend— the Warmonger!" Qwark roared, pulling out the heavy launcher.
Missiles streaked toward her.
Ratchet snapped up her Magmabuster and fired. A molten orb burst in mid-air, detonating the incoming rockets before they got close.
She could have tanked them. But she wasn't about to let Qwark—or anyone else—realize she was completely invincible now they might know how to get around it.
"No fair! I wasn't ready for that!" Qwark complained.
"You fired first," Ratchet laughed, spinning the Magmabuster with a cocky grin.
As Qwark's health dropped below half, he summoned the Agents of Doom generators.
"Agents of Doom—attack!" he shouted.
Ratchet rolled her eyes and pulled out the Apocalypse Glove. "Cute. Here, meet my little nightmares."
Tiny demonic drones burst forth and swarmed the generators, ripping them apart in seconds.
Panicking, Qwark pulled out another Groovitron. "After I destroy you, I'll help everyone find new homes—better homes! And I'll be a hero again!"
Ratchet didn't flinch. "The galaxy doesn't reward selfishness, Qwark. Not anymore."
"Of course they will! I'm famous!" Qwark insisted as he slammed the Groovitron down.
Ratchet casually lobbed a Fusion Bomb. "Yeah? Let's see how fame holds up against physics."
The bomb exploded right next to the device, knocking it offline. She followed up with a clean strike to Qwark's head.
He groaned as he floated limply toward the side of the chamber. "I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know how things got this far..."
Ratchet narrowed her eyes. She wasn't buying the act. That tone? Temporary guilt at best.
"This is just pathetic!" Dr. Nefarious shouted from above.
"Nefarious! Give it up, it's over! As head of the Galactic Rangers, uh..." Qwark paused, blinking before pointing at Ratchet. "She's here to place you under arrest!"
Ratchet recoiled. "Me?! Wait—did I just get promoted? Can he even do that?"
"Absolutely," Qwark replied proudly. "Arrest this man!"
"Over your dead body!" Nefarious snarled, firing a barrage of shots.
Ratchet ducked as plasma zipped past her head. "Could've just said 'no', man!"
The floor lurched suddenly.
"Whoa!" Qwark yelled, flailing.
"AGGHHHHH!" Nefarious shrieked as he grabbed a rail, his legs flailing. "What's happening?!"
"Ahhh! Agh!" Qwark said, scrabbling to cling on. "Woaah! Ugh!"
"Deplanetizer now online," the system intoned.
Nefarious scrambled to the terminal. Ratchet locked her boots to the floor and called out.
"Qwark! Don't let him fire it!"
"Urgh!" Nefarious growled as Qwark grabbed him by the foot. "Get off me, you has-been!"
"Oof!" Qwark grunted as he caught a heel to the head and went down.
Nefarious slammed the launch button, cackling. "You know, maybe Drek was right. I am a mad scientist!"
The screen blinked. Missed target.
"You've ruined everything!" he screamed, now hanging from a nearby rail again.
Nefarious pressed a button on his belt and let go—plummeting before a mech clamped around him in midair.
"Gadgetron Insta-Mech activated," the onboard system announced.
The mech rocketed upward, slamming into the platform where Ratchet and Clank stood.
"Now, where were we? Ah, yes—annihilating you!" Nefarious bellowed, swinging a massive fist at them.
Ratchet grabbed Clank and dove, hitting a grind rail as sparks exploded behind her. She was already moving before she hit the rail, boots screeching.
"I'd love to stay and chat," Nefarious snarled as he hovered in pursuit, "but I have a dwarf star to destroy!"
"You're not getting away that easy!" Ratchet shouted, tearing down the rail like a comet.
You're absolutely right—and thank you for calling that out.
"Elaris, we've got a problem! Nefarious has totally lost it—he's gonna blow up the star!" Ratchet barked into comms, launching onto the left rail and swinging her hammer with brutal precision. One versamine went flying, but the second was clipped and went off, while ratchet herself was invincible, her grind boots were not and were destroyed. Luckily the upgrade to the A.S.S. kicked in and she could now grind with her bare paws.
"Ratchet, you have to stop him!" Elaris's voice crackled back before she could react. "If that star explodes, Umbris will go with it!"
"And then us!" Cora added grimly.
Ratchet jumped to the left rail without missing a beat. "Yeah, I got that part, thanks." Her tone was dry, but the tension behind it was razor-sharp.
"Ya can't catch me!" Nefarious's voice rang out, giddy and wild.
Ratchet swingshot over a pair of glowing targets, flipping through them with ease. "Buddy, you couldn't outrun a falling wrench."
"You should've seen the look on Drek's face!" Nefarious continued gleefully. "I played that fool like a Novalian piano—then turned him into a sheep!"
Ratchet jumped to the right rail, then another, riding the rhythm like second nature.
"Nice. I'll be sure to add 'crimes against music' to your rap sheet."
"Give up, Lombax! Ya can't win!"
Ratchet launched to the next rail, hammer sweeping through three versamines like weeds. "Yeah, yeah. Broken record, doc."
"Stop chasing me!" Nefarious screeched.
She swingshotted to the next rail. "You start a countdown to galactic extinction, and I'm the problem?!"
Four more versamines came at her. Four clean, fluid strikes later, they were history.
"ARGH! Why won't you just die?!" Nefarious roared, voice tearing through the station's loudspeakers like static-filled hate.
Ratchet hit the final platform, her magneboots locking hard. She skidded a step, straightened—and looked up.
There he was. Dr. Nefarious in his full, deranged glory, piloting a towering Insta-Mech. Behind him, the supernova core pulsed like an exposed heart—unstable, angry, seconds from collapse.
Ratchet's gaze didn't flinch. Her expression was ice.
"What's your hurry?" Nefarious sneered. "I thought you wanted to be a hero!"
"Still do." She rotated her shoulder and raised her Plasma Slayer. "Kinda hard with you blowing up stars, though."
"I'll end your pathetic lives, and still have time to evacuate!" he bellowed. "Then I'll sit back and watch it happen! A perfect symphony of destruction—composed in prison!"
Ratchet's ears flicked. Her stance tightened. "Y'know, you should really stop workshopping your speeches in solitary."
Then she launched upward—Plasma Slayer firing in blazing blue streaks. Impacts rocked the mech's hull. Nefarious recoiled with a shriek and returned fire with a sweeping laser beam.
Ratchet twisted mid-air and soared above it.
"Let's take a little off the top!" Nefarious yelled, sweeping the laser back with surgical slowness.
She dodged with a flip, countered with a high toss of her Apocalypse Glove. Three glowing drones burst out mid-air and swarmed the mech, zipping around its frame like angry sparks.
"A Glove of Doom? Hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh! That's rich!" Nefarious laughed.
Ratchet smirked, eyes locked in. "Hey, if I'm going out, I'm doing it retro."
Nefarious snarled and launched a volley of missiles. Ratchet backflipped, boosters flaring as warnings lit her visor.
She pulled her Fusion Bomb mid-drift and lobbed it into the oncoming swarm. It detonated in a blinding burst, taking the missiles with it.
"That's for almost vaporizing my friends, jackass." She blasted through the smoke, eyes burning with focus.
"Okay, that was a good one!" Nefarious said as the mech sputtered, sparking at the shoulder, and he pulled back toward the dwarf star's core while laughing maniacally. "Time to recharge!"
Ratchet landed with a calm focus, the Peacemaker humming in her hands.
"Not this time, Doc. Class is dismissed."
She unloaded a barrage of homing rounds straight into the reactor shielding.
The dwarf star pulse destabilized, and the explosion hurled Nefarious backward.
"Not now, not now! This stupid thing! Where's the reset button?!" Nefarious cried, his mech crashing onto a platform.
While he scrambled, dazed and sparking, Ratchet hovered down, switching weapons mid-air.
"You know, I really hoped you'd put up more of a fight." She tossed the Groovibomb.
The Insta-Mech froze... then started dancing, absurdly swaying.
"What?! No! Stop—stop this! This isn't dignified!" Nefarious wailed.
Ratchet pirouetted once midair, flipping twice, then landed squarely in front of the mech. Her Magmabuster lit up, crackling.
"Neither is turning a sun into your personal battery."
She fired.
The blast detonated against the exposed core. With the shielding gone, the mech began collapsing into itself.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Nefarious screamed as the energy tore through the damaged reactor.
"Deplanetizer entering Umbris orbit," the Computer announced.
Ratchet shielded her eyes, then turned.
"Let's move, Clank!"
"Ratchet, you have to get out of there now!" Elaris urged over the comms.
Ratchet dove through the wreckage, grabbed Qwark's wrist, and pulled him up.
"You hang out in the worst places, you know that?"
"Warning. Now entering Umbris atmosphere."
"Any ideas?" Qwark asked.
Clank pointed. "A hoverbike—in the hallway!"
"Whaaaaaaaahhhhh!" the trio screamed as they flew down the corridor on the hoverbike.
"We must find one of Drek's teleporters!" Clank said from Qwark's left shoulder.
"I saw one on the bridge!" Qwark said.
Ratchet pointed from the right.
"Hard right! Unless you want to be part of the wall!"
"Whoa!" Qwark shouted, skidding just past the debris.
"This is one way to burn calories," Ratchet muttered. "We're all gonna need chiropractors after this."
The hallway opened to the bridge.
"Hang on, boys!" Qwark shouted.
Ratchet scowled.
"Girl, actually! But we'll circle back to that if we survive!"
She spotted the teleporter.
"There! Hit the brakes!"
"Ughh! Ahhhhhhhh!" Qwark yelled as they overshot and launched toward the platform's edge.
"Qwark!" Ratchet shouted, skidding to the lip and seeing him below.
"Oh no," Clank muttered, watching Qwark standing on the cracked window.
"I can't reach you in time! Just get out while you can!" Qwark yelled up.
"Teleporter charging," the Computer said.
Clank dashed off.
"Hmmm."
"Wait—what are you doing?!" Ratchet shouted.
"Improvising!" Clank grunted as he began prying the teleporter loose.
Ratchet blinked—then smirked.
"You brilliant little bot."
She jammed the pointy end of her Omnihammer under the base and started levering.
"One miracle delivery coming up!"
They tipped the teleporter over the edge, clinging to it as it flipped through the air.
"Whoaaaaaaaahhhhh!" the trio yelled as it spun down.
"Ohh!" Qwark jumped just in time, shattering the glass beneath him as he grabbed hold.
"Whaaaaaaaahhhhh!" echoed again as the teleporter activated—whisking them all away just before the station exploded behind them.