Chapter Text
The little family returned to their home after the doctor gave Petra medicine. Leah couldn't hide her joy because her father was back. But it was clear that both of her parents were fighting with their own thought. About Petra being pregnant again and she didn't want to keep the baby.
"Leah, you can go to school by yourself, right? Papa has to take care of Mama"
"Okay, Papa. I'll go to school by myself." Leah answered while packing her school bag.
"Good." Levi stroked Leah's hair before taking his daughter to the front of the house and waiting there until Leah had walked far enough.
Petra had been lying in her bedroom since they got back. So Levi decided to clean up the house first. The stuff he brought from his trip last night was still on the chair, untouched.
Levi finished his homework in silence. He gave Petra some time alone, before he would talk to her later. They had a lot to talk about. Even Levi made lunch for them. Then he prepared water for Petra to take a bath. Considering his wife had been sick for more than a week, she must have missed her bathing ritual for several days.
After putting the water on the fire, Levi left her to see Petra in the bedroom. He didn't go in right away when he saw the figure sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the window and looking down. Petra rubbed her stomach. "Hey, baby. I didn't know that I would be given another chance to feel another life inside my body. But, I'm not sure I can do it."
Levi turned around, he took the things he brought from his trip. Then went back into the bedroom. "Petra, I'm coming in." He said, which made Petra startled and turned around.
"What did you bring?"
Levi sat next to Petra, he put his bag between them. Then he started to unpack the contents of his bag. "Some herbal medicine from Hizuru, this is for your anemia. Then there are vitamins, tea, and candy for Leah."
"What is 'Hizuru', Levi?".
"Oh". Levi forgot that Petra didn't know. "That's the country where Mikasa's mother came from, I don't know if she ever told you or not. But, I went back to Marley and finished some tasks there. I've transferred all the work to Onyankopon, yes, like taking care of the evacuation, reforestation and the orphanage. Then, Lady Kiyomi came to see me."
"Who is Kiyomi?”
"From the Azumabito Clan, she is related to Mikasa. She helped me find some herbs from Hizuru to bring home, for you Petra".
Petra raised her eyebrows. She didn't expect Levi's journey, which was too long from the time he promised, was to help find a cure for her. "Oh".
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get back. I thought I could finish it quickly. But I guess it was worth it since Lady Kiyomi gave me a lot of other herbs, and some plant seeds."
"Thank You".
Levi put his bag down near his feet, then he moved closer to Petra and pulled his wife's hand to hold. "I will keep my promise, I will make you heal and live longer."
"But we still can't have another baby, Levi. You know, our income is quite limited and -".
"I will find a way, I will handle everything."
"I - we almost died that time. When I gave birth".
Levi was silent. He stared at Petra's face who was reluctant to return his gaze, the woman looked anywhere else except Levi's face. "Petra, did I hurt you this bad back then?"
"Huh?".
"For not wanting your pregnancy, did I hurt you that bad?"
Petra finally looked at Levi. She saw how Levi's eyes looked teary. She took a breath and - "Yes".
"Oh my God! I'm such a jerk! I didn't know how fucking bad I hurt you that time, I just said something mean without fucking thinking about you. I didn't know it would hurt this fucking much". Levi cried, his hand still holding Petra's hand, he pulled her hand and kissed it. Then Levi knelt on the floor, in front of Petra. "Please forgive me, Petra".
Petra was confused by Levi's actions. She quickly pulled Levi's arms to stand up again and sit next to her. "Levi, stop. Don't be like this. Please".
"I don't deserve to ask anything from you." Levi took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do whatever you want. As long as I don't lose you and Leah."
Petra nodded slowly. She approached her husband, slipped her arms around Levi's waist and hugged him. "I'm sorry".
"If only I hadn't acted like a jerk, I would have been able to experience the moment of accompanying you during your pregnancy and childbirth." Levi rubbed her back gently. He was lucky, Petra always forgave him and accepted him back. So, asking something else from Petra is not something he should do. "Come on, you should take a shower, then eat. I'll make you some tea, I brought green tea from Hizuru."
Levi rubbed Petra's back while the woman enjoyed the warm water in the tub soaking her body. "Hey, Levi, why didn't you write me a letter?"
"About that.. I don't know what to write? And I don't know how long it will take me to finish my business and go home. I don't want to give you any hope, hopes that I am not sure will come true".
Petra sighed, turning her head slightly to glance at Levi over her shoulder. "At least let me know you're still alive."
"I'm sorry, baby".
Petra pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. He rested his chin on his knees. "Are Gabi and Falco fine?".
"Yeah, they're fine. I guess they are thinking about coming back here".
"Leah loves them. I look forward to their visits too."
Levi mumbled to answer her, then he moved to sit in front of her which made the woman confused. "Alright, now your feet."
"What?".
"Let me massage it. The healer in Hizuru said that I should massage your injured leg so that it doesn't become stiff and painful too often."
Petra frowned upon hearing Levi's explanation. But he stretched his legs with both hands. Levi held his legs gently. Petra just stared at the man as he did his job. "Levi, how about you?"
"About what?".
"Your eyes... Have they healed? I haven't heard about all the scars on your body."
Levi snorted, a small smile on his face as Petra asked about his condition. It felt so good to have her attention again. Levi pulled her hand, placing her fingertips on the scar on his face. "I got this when I held that damn monkey hostage, I was too emotional and didn't expect him to pull the trigger on the Thunder Spear." Levi explained. "My eyes are healed, of course, but they are no longer functional, or blind".
"Oh, I'm sorry but I don't understand about Thunder spear".
"You don't need to understand, honey". Levi then placed Petra's palm on his hand, there were only 3 fingers there. "I also got this from the same incident".
"Is he dead?"
"Not immediately dead, it's a long story but I can kill him at the end to end the Rumbling." Levi stood up. Grabbing a towel to end his wife's bathing ritual. But Petra stood by herself holding onto the edge of the tub. Levi hurriedly approached her and helped her out of the tub, then covered her with a towel.
"Levi, what if we don't get a miracle and die right after I give birth? What will you do?"
"I... I will complete my duty to the very end and not think about surviving the Rumbling."
"That's suicide."
"I don't want to live a life that you and our child can't live, Petra."
Petra raised her eyebrows. Looking into Levi's eyes, then looking down, she rested her head on Levi's shoulder. "Then you have to live as long as we do. I would hate you so much if you died first."
Levi chuckled, he hugged his wife with a gentle touch as if afraid that she would break in his hands. "So childish, you are my Petra, Thank you for accepting me once again. I love you so much".
-
In a small field beside the house.
It was already evening when Leah almost cried while helping Petra plant some beetroots. According to Levi, beetroots could help overcome his wife's anemia. So they started planting their own. But Leah's anxiety was unstoppable, her father had gone to town and had not returned until evening. She was just afraid that her father would not come home again for some time.
"Leah, please get some water." Petra asked then turned to Leah.
The girl looked away and dug at the ground with her small hoe. "Where's Papa?". She grumbled.
"He went to town. I thought we told you that last night."
"Why is he always gone, Mama?"
"He will come back, oh my God." Petra was frustrated. So she stood up and took the water herself to water her plants. This time Petra had to be sure that her husband would definitely come back, Levi would not break his word and would definitely come back.
Petra was busy watering the soil where she planted the seeds, when Leah screamed happily realizing her father had come home. Petra turned and saw Levi walking towards their house, the man raised his hand waving at his daughter while the girl ran towards him.
Petra put down the bucket, which was still half full of water, to approach her husband too. "Welcome home". She welcomed.
"I'm back, my wife." Levi replied, the man immediately hugged his wife's waist and planted a soft kiss on her cheek which was red from her activities planting seeds.
"Hey, I'm sweating." Petra moved away a little as her husband was about to give her a kiss on the other cheek.
"Who cares? Oh, don't you understand how precious this smell is?".
"Levi". Petra glanced at Leah, who was now looking at her parents sarcastically. It's not that she doesn't like what her parents do, it's just that she sometimes gets annoyed with her mother and is still awkward.
"Oh, let's go inside, it's getting dark." Levi handed the bag he was carrying to Leah, and walked with his arms still around Petra's waist.
The woman must have noticed how Levi had subtly and seemingly unintentionally touched her stomach. He must have really wanted this pregnancy, wanted this child to grow to be born and be present among their little family. Levi didn't dare to say what he wanted, because he wanted to respect Petra's wish to get rid of it because her safety was the most important thing.
It was night when Levi entered their bedroom.
"Is Leah asleep?" Petra asked, the woman was sewing.
Levi climbed onto the bed. "Yeah."
Petra chuckled. "Sorry, I guess because you're gone too often she's become a bit spoiled." Petra said.
Levi sighed. He sat facing Petra, then grabbed some clothes that weren't folded yet and took the initiative to fold them. "It's okay. I like it when she wants to be spoiled and close to me."
"She'll be 12 this year, Levi."
"I know. I missed a lot of moments that I should have had."
Petra looked at Levi, she smiled warmly. "You have to live to see her grow up, become a woman and get married, Levi."
"You're right." Levi nodded. "Petra, don't be too tired. I know you don't want this baby, but I heard that a miscarriage is more dangerous than an abortion." Levi said.
Petra was stunned. Honestly, because she didn't want to get pregnant, she forgot that she was pregnant. "Oh, sorry for making you worry."
"Regarding my meeting with Queen Historia today, she agreed to build a clinic near this village. Because the neighboring village will also be built to be used as a military retirement housing and for military widows whose husbands died on the battlefield 3 years ago."
Petra raised her eyebrows. She put down her sewing tools and took Levi's hand. "Oh, Levi, I'm glad you managed to make that wish come true. The clinic nearby would be very helpful."
"I told you I would do anything for you, Petra, anything."
"Thank You". Petra approached, Levi understood and immediately hugged the woman. "Um, Levi, do you want to say hello to our baby? I mean, before we lose it."
"Can I?".
Petra nodded.
With that Levi sighed. He was nervous but also happy because finally what he wanted for the past few days could be come true. As simple as holding his wife's pregnant belly. So Levi bent down a little, wiping his hands on his thighs before touching Petra's exposed belly - the woman lifted her shirt a little so Levi could touch her skin directly.
"Can... can the baby hear sounds, Petra?" Levi asked nervously. The baby bump was barely visible on Petra's stomach.
"I'm not sure, but you can try".
Levi rubbed his hand slowly on her stomach. Petra also looked relaxed and let Levi enjoy this opportunity. "Hey, baby". That was all Levi said. Even though he had prepared a long paragraph to welcome his baby, he didn't say it because it would only hurt Petra too.
"I'm sorry for not being sure I can have you, but, I hope you come back to me in another life, okay, baby?". Petra said.
Hearing those words, Levi raised his head and saw Petra in tears. Yes, it wasn't just him who felt lost and sad about the decision they were going to make. The one who lost the most was of course Petra - mother. Levi might feel hurt and sad, but the only thing that would feel empty was his heart, he could give that empty place to Leah. But Petra? As a mother, she must have felt the emptiness not only in her heart but also in her womb. Even though it was only a few weeks old, her baby had lived there healthy and fine, but they had to get rid of it.
Levi got up and immediately hugged her. Stroking his wife's hair to calm her down. "Love, I'm sorry, I should have anticipated this. I didn't expect to get you pregnant again." He said.
-
We'll have it again, in the future, in another life. Don't be mad if I look for you when we're reborn, Petra.
Those were the words Levi said just before Petra underwent a minor surgery to curettage her fetus. They really couldn't have it, the baby, because Petra's condition didn't allow it. Leah didn't know about her mother's condition, she was only happy when her father said they were going to the city. Leah was left with Mikasa and she told her about being bought ice cream.
"Petra, honey, how are you feeling? Do you feel any pain or discomfort?" Levi asked as Petra woke up a few hours after the surgery.
"I just... feel tired. Oh, my stomach is a bit crampy."
"Wait, I'll get a warm water bag." Levi was about to get up from his seat when Petra grabbed his wrist - preventing her husband from leaving.
"No. I mean, Levi, stay here."
Levi sat back down in his chair. Now he held Petra's hand. "The doctor said we can go home tomorrow if your condition is good. Should I bring Leah here?"
"Leah is a very curious child, I think leaving her with Mikasa for tonight would be fine."
Levi sighed and nodded. "You're right, Leah is a very curious child. I'll come back to tell Leah, then come back here to keep you company."
"Thank you, Levi".
"Don't be, I'm just doing my duty as a husband, Petra." Levi stroked Petra's hair lovingly. "If you still feel tired, it's better to back to sleep. I'll wake you up later when it's time to eat and take medicine." He told her.
"You too, have to rest and eat, we need you, Papa. I need you, Levi"
Levi's eyes widened at Petra's words. He pulled her hand and placed it on his cheek. "Oh my God, this is the first time you've said you need me, Petra."
"Really? I don't remember." Petra chuckled.
Levi nodded. He kissed her hand and even leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Even when you were injured, you never said you needed me to help you recover. When I asked you to marry me, you didn't ask for anything from me even though I didn't give you anything. I am truly blessed to have a woman like you, Petra."
"I thought having you was enough. So I didn't ask for anything."
"Yeah, just having you is enough."
-
"So you will going back to Marley, Papa?" Leah asked as she accompanied her father to lunch at the new clinic site near their village. Her mother had asked her to bring lunch to her father, since her father had helped build the clinic.
It was two weeks after Petra's surgery. She recovered well and was able to take care of the household as usual. That's why Levi could leave her to help with the construction.
"Yeah".
Leah lowered her head, she was sad to hear her father's answer. Her lips were tightly closed and she was almost crying.
Levi glanced at his daughter as he chewed on the last piece of his bread. "Of course I'll go back to Marley, but I'll only travel far if I'm with your mother and you, Leah. I won't go far again without you two".
Leah lifted her head. Her face looked radiant with happiness. Even her smile was very wide. "You promise?"
"I promise. Oh, I will work in this clinic when the construction is completed. In the neighboring village there will be new housing for retired military personnel and military widows. This area will develop."
The girl gaped, she had no idea about this. This was the first time she had heard of it. "Wow, I wish someone would open an ice cream shop."
Levi chuckled softly. "You really like ice cream, huh? How about asking Mama to learn how to make it?"
"I'm not sure Mama will want to."
"Why?".
"It seems like a difficult thing."
"Leah, are you underestimating your Mama's abilities? Let your Papa ask her."
Levi knew that Leah didn't dare to ask much from Petra. She understood her parents' situation very well and was used to it. The last time she acted spoiled and demanded her mother, her mother fell ill and almost died. That's what Leah thought.
"Oh, you two are back." Petra greeted her daughter and husband. She was busy with her afternoon activities taking care of the small garden next to her house.
"Yeah". Levi replied. Meanwhile, Leah hurriedly ran into the house.
"Give it to me." Petra reached out to take the cloth bag containing the empty supplies from Levi's hands.
But what happened, Levi bent down and grabbed Petra's legs and carried her in front of him bridal style. Petra panicked but she immediately put her arms around Levi's neck. "Turns out I'm still as strong as ever, I just need some training."
"What... Levi, put me down!".
"Okay, Levi's driver will take you to your destination. Hold on, ma'am."
Petra couldn't hold back her laughter. She had no choice but to hold on tight and hide her face in Levi's neck. She was embarrassed because some of the neighbors saw them. After all, she was like a widow while living here. Levi had only been back for a few months.
Levi had just dropped his wife off in the kitchen. Leah was setting the table for dinner, as usual, she pretended not to see what her parents were doing.
"Mama, Leah said she wanted ice cream. How about you learn how to make it?”
"Papa!" Leah was about to protest because Levi said it in front of her.
"Oh, I asked Mikasa for the recipe when we were in town. She said she would send the recipe here if she found out."
"So, Mama also want to learn how to make ice cream?” Leah couldn’t believe the fact.
Petra nodded. "It tastes good, right? I wants to try it again, but we can't always go to town."
Levi looked at the two women. He smiled secretly. Entering this small family was the right decision. Fighting for Petra's heart once again is a decision he will not regret.
This time there are only three of us. But, what if we make this family into five or six people. In the future. In another life. Petra, I will search and find you once again. Two more times. Or many more times. I would do it to be with you.
-
Fin