Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prologue: The Question

When Haymitch's eyes landed on Effie, the first time he saw her in months, was when she was rescued from the hell hole of a prison - he knew that she would have questions that he was bound to answer – that he owes her the truth to.

And he knew she would have demands and accusations - ridiculous, larger than life and true - just like her.

Who wouldn’t have in her position?

Effie wasn’t in the known with anything regarding the rebellion.

It was his call – he made the decision to keep her in the dark with the notion it would protect her, that the patriotic Capitol mask she Always had on - so realistic it usually fooled everyone who saw it. With just her bright face and her equally bright smile – she charmed everyone and pulled an efficient enough of a disguise so she will be able to remove being noticed in the wrong way.

But it almost never fooled him, and it probably never fooled Snow.

How could he have been so naive, so blind to think snow would just leave her alone?

Since the day they first met when she came dragging a mountain of her great uncles clothing to the apartment - practically saving the day - he saw what kind of woman she was. Over the years, her unwavering loyalty for Katniss, Peeta and himself had proven repeatedly that she was on their side all along.

Her association with him from the get-go, from the moment Haymitch helped her with her makeup box made that Effie, as if by default - was standing by the rascal from district twelve and hence the rebellion.

And then she came with those damn golden tokens she bought him and Peeta as a sign of their unity as a team - What did he think was going to happen?

But in a flash, as if he was struck by lightning – how ironic - he snapped out of his limbo of thoughts. He can continue flogging himself later, he has all the time in the world now - or until his liver stops functioning anyway.

Right now, he needs to focus and by his team's side - at that moment Effie – ready to answer her every question and wish.

What happened? We launched a rebellion; you were arrested by The Capitol; you were supposed to come with us to district 13.

 Are Katniss and Peeta all right?  they will recover, but They’re at least safe for now.

Will you stay with me? Yes, sure I will, just like you always stood by me.

Twenty-five years is a bit late to return a favor, right? I'm truly sorry, will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?

He longed for the reply to be yes.

Those answers and many more set at the tip of his tongue for months, gathered in his mind throughout all those long hard months in thirteen, when no one else was there but his nightmares to keep him company.

His only comfort was the fulfilment of Lenore dove's one request of him and the phenomenon that came true before his eyes – his lucky break - that Effie was alive.

Against all odds – she was hurt and bruised – but alive all the same.

Effie – the one and only close person that he managed to keep alive, a new opportunity for a decent reality the sun could rise upon.

He promised himself when he got her out of prison, that at the first opportunity after she would recover a bit - he would tell her everything, like he should have done before the start of the third quarter quell, when she gave him the golden bangle – now Bruised and scratched from the arena, but back on his wrist were it belong.

Only now he realized that this moment would be a first, since they first met – that they could be completely honest with each other. No more Quick glances and eye rolls or restrained facial expressions that were their only form of communication when they were mere seconds from crying or screaming at the unfairness of their position.

He wouldn’t mind the bantering though.

The anticipation was buzzing in his stomach, he couldn’t wait.

Haymitch and Plutarch crossed the entrance of her assigned room in Snow's newly occupied mansion. They found Effie sitting upright on the edge of her plush bed, as if waiting for their arrival.

Haymitch felt the need to remove his Binnie and began to roll it between his palms. "What a wonderful site to see you awake, miss Trinket!" said Plutarch with an enthusiasm that seemed genuine. Plutarch was always a master of pleasantries, which was good since Haymitch didn’t know how to even begin to think how to ask for forgiveness he wasn’t sure he deserved.

Plutarch quickly moved the conversation towards the Coin problem – well one of the problems regarding Coin anyway. Alma Coin, the now self-appointed president, desired to publicly execute the one and only living escort as the first thing she'll do as a president after killing Snow, making her the example – and Haymitch knew for experience what that meant.

Both Haymitch and Plutarch were obviously against it - Haymitch would have killed her on the spot for even suggesting that, if not for Plutarch's eyeing him and sweet-talking Coin about the advantages of keeping Effie Trinket alive, while giving Haymitch the opening to hint how much she will lose if anything happens to the Mockingjay's escort under her presidency. He reluctantly agreed upon coins offer that Effie will have to perform one more time as the Mockingjay's escort when she will call, something that Effie's physician approved for her to do in two weeks' time.

The only thing Effie had to do was to agree.

When Plutarch finished talking, Effie's face was still - as if she froze in time. If Haymitch didn’t know any better, he could almost describe her look as battle ready – as if she knows she must face the music and form her emotions into words.

When Effie opened her mouth, what she ended up asking was one of those types of questions Haymitch couldn't ever prepare yourself for.

Not in a million years' time.

Maybe not ever.

And it was probably the one question he thought would never come from Effie trinket.

“Where are my children?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: The Unexpected

The presidential mansion, Effie's room, just moments before.

"So… this is what needs to be done, I need to provide president Coin with an answer within the hour." Plutarch Summarized.

Effie apparently did not need more than a mere second to come up with an answer – which to Haymitch felt like eternity.

“I’ll do it, but not before I’ll ask the question that you know is bound to be asked. And Plutarch - you will give an answer I’d better be happy with.”

The air came out of Haymitch's mouth in a reflex. He didn’t realize just how long he was holding his breath. Just the thought of her being under Coins kill list - He could not lose her too, not so closely after he got her back – not ever. And now that she was here - he would never let anything bring harm to her.

She was the only one from before.

The only one who remembers him as he was, and evidently – the only lucky exception in his life. “Whatever you want” Haymitch assured calmly - And he meant it.

She didn’t acknowledge him though, her gaze fixed on Plutarch and She took a long painful looking breath and asked in a quiet, almost threatening Demeanor –

“Where are my children?”

Beeping of medical machines echoed clear in the vacuum of silence that Effie's question created in the room.

"What?” Haymitch asked in disbelief, his voice was not trembling whatsoever.

“Where are my children, Plutarch?”

Effie asked again, completely ignoring Haymitch's words as he stared at her – breathless again and wide-eyed. Plutarch also seemed to be in a state of shock, probably surprised by that question as Haymitch was.

The air stood still, sinking heavily, and after a minute of silence Plutarch finally put them out of misery and opened his mouth, His voice is barely audible and Haymitch might just heard him stutter slightly, uncharacteristic to the old man. “Effie...” he began in a tone that suggested that he wasn’t that surprised by that question after all.

But Effie didn’t seem to be in a state to tolerate his hesitation. She began to stand on her two fragile legs, leaning on the bed post – as If she was trying to make her way towards Plutarch so she could end him.

Haymitch never saw her more determined in her life, which says Planty since its Effie Trinket – if he thought nothing could stop that woman before…

“Plutarch Heavensbee I demand to know where are my children - right now! Or I swear on my sister’s grave...”

“They’re safe, miss Trinket – I swear! They will be brought to you as soon as possible. Just, please don’t exhaust yourself – you need to rest, I urge you.  What You went through...” that’s when Effie chooses to brutally cut him off “Like you give a damn what I went through, there’s no need for niceties. Just hold up your end of our bargain - Bring them to me now or all hell will break loose."

What bargain?

“They are in district Thirteen, it will take some time to arrange a hovercraft, and then there is the flight time. I’ll try to bring them to you as soon as possible. But you need to agree to be the Mockingjay's escort, otherwise - forget seeing them anytime soon, and much less getting your custody over them back.” He sounded a lot more assertive now, but as if he knew somehow that one word out of place would send him to hell. “I already did” Effie replied, her voice slithered as if she was mimicking dripping poison. “Now, go on Plutarch, you have some work to do - bring them to me. And if you want me to do my job, or just to keep my mouth shut - take your peek - I suggest you won’t keep me waiting for long."

Haymitch could not ignore what happened to Effie's once bright high-pitched voice, that was now so low and frigid and sturdy and not her in the slightest.

The newfound intonation was all Effie needed to move her point across, confirmed by Plutarch's humble node of his head at her direction “I’ll bring them here, but please rest in the meantime, we don’t want them to see you in this kind of state now do we?” Plutarch murmured.

Effie's blue eyes fixed on the man as he exited the room while bowing his head as a goodbye of sort, turned and slowly began walking out of the room as if carrying in a heavy cape of shame that threatened to drag him down.

Yet One question remained unanswered.

"What children?” the thought ran through Haymitch's mind, the words came out of his mouth simultaneously as a mere whisper, weak as a fragile echoing buzz of a flee. He didn’t even realize he spoke aloud – like a lot of things he didn’t seem to realize today. Suddenly Effie turned her head towards him, her blue eyes glazed, carrying a surprise within them - as if she forgot that he was even there.

Or… as if she was actively ignoring him.

While hoping it isn’t a fact he will have to somehow comprehend - He could almost hear his heart slowly breaking, grinding into coal-black dust.

-----

Effie's gaze turned to Haymitch for the first time since he entered her room with Plutarch. Has he said something? She wasn’t sure, her head was spinning, her mind was racing, and her children were alive and well and on their way to her.

And that’s what matters now.

All she could think about was her children in her arms and how she wasn’t letting them off her sight ever again. So, she didn’t ask Haymitch to repeat his words, and as much as she missed him - she didn't have the privilege at that moment to indulge in her own feelings.

Right now, regardless of how much grudge she holds against Plutarch – he was right, she should rest.

There was truth in his words on the importance of rest in her condition, and her babies probably went through so much – they needed their mother's strength – or for her to be strong enough to sort emotional hardships from those few months. Her time in prison took its toll and Effie sensed it with every waking and hazy moment.

But nothing can compare to her boiling blood, her aching heart and the sense she was on the edge of bursting. Right now, that's all she was - a cluster of limbs pinned together with one purpose only, getting its life force from the unknown – all for her family.

For all of them, she thought - even if for now, she'll need to prioritize her little ones.

She allowed herself a second to take a deep, painful breath, and then another – calming down before taking her next step. Closing her eyes and almost welcoming the small chuckle that escaped her mouth - Just one second and back to work, you have a big, big, big day coming up.

Effie finally turned around to start the walk to her bed, and that's when the room began to spin even more. Before she could understand what was going on, she was lifted like a bag of bones by a strong, warm embrace –

Haymitch, no doubt about it.

He smelled just like she remembered, only without the sharp smell of moonshine that he usually carried. And oh, his embrace – No one in all Panem embraces like him.

"I got you, princess" He whispered in the sweetest voice. She should not find him sweet at that moment, not after what she went through.

But she did – and it was like her own private dreamy homecoming.

She still couldn’t judge that though, but she had no power to protest his proximity, so she let him carry her to bed. He laid her head on the pillows and put the soft covers over her frail body. Sleep called her name, and she focused on the fact that for the first time since the quarter quell - she had something good to look forward to when she woke.

So, she let sleep gather her but not before she sensed Haymitch's callused knuckles brushing her cheek gently.

The Trinket resident, March 18^th in the year of the 66^th annual Hunger Games

"Father, it's… ahh!" Effie screamed as the most powerful contraction yet hit her pelvis. "You're fully dilated, it's time to take a deep breath and push my dear!" doing as her father – and at this case her doctor ordered her when to stop and when to resume the pushing as the pain makes her pant in agony.

"Effie my dear I need you to push one more time, just one more time!" she took one deep breath as she pushed and screamed aloud – luckily her father's infirmary had been sound proofed and examined for bugs and unwanted cameras months ago by Plutarch himself.

 As the pressure built between her legs, she screamed and pushed until she felt it and a loud cry came bursting into the room. Her father laughed in satisfaction and delight as he brought her baby to her line of vision "congratulations my dear, you are a mother to this beautiful baby girl!"

Effie choked a cry as he transferred her daughter onto her, as the little thing kept on crying as if making her presence known. "Congratulation to you too father – you earned the title of Grandfather Ernest!" Effie said as she embraced her newborn and kissed the top of her head "hello my love, it’s so good to finally meet you, I'm your… mother." Effie laughed and cried at all at once to the sight of this impossible miracle.

 The odds of this child to even been conceived were quite impossible to begin with.

And then you take into consideration who her father is.

She hoped she would be able to raise her to be as half as kind as he is – or was since now most days he is just a shell of the boy she first met more than ten years ago. But when she reminisces about the night is all happened, she remembers how she could almost see that him comes back to life – as the man he truly was behind the Griff and the trauma and the liquor.

I wish you could have been here with me, I wish I could tell you how beautiful your daughter is.

As if the newborn could read her mind, her daughter opened her eyes to reveal the bluest set of natural eyes she had ever seen, like her own but brighter – as if the world was yet to darken them.

"We have the same eyes, little ones" she said to her bundle of joy.

While she hoped the child would take her father's eyes, practically it was for the best she didn’t. since the gray eyes that dominated the complication of the residents of the seam - where Haymitch lived with his family before winning his games– were very distinct and very much a product of its place, it would be easier in the long run to hide the fact that she was related to district twelve, but that her father was the only living victor of the district.

Her fate will be doomed.

She will be sent to the games to die or will be used as leverage on both her and Haymitch.

Effie will never let anything happened to their daughter – and she will not deprive Haymitch of the only family he had left, even If she will never be able to tell him that she exists.

She stroked her daughter's plush cheek softly as she began to feel the painful pressure between her legs again. "Dad! Take her away, take her away! I can feel…" she screamed as the pain came back again full force. Her father sprinted towards her and took the baby, gently put her in the bassinet before returning to his own daughter.

 "Effie, I need you to listen to me now dear" she heard her father and tried to control her panting, but everything hurt ten times folds. "It is unexpected, but it seemed like there was another baby on its way. When I'll tell you – I need you to breath deep and push for as long as I'll tell you."

What? Another baby? How did that…

Well, how can she be surprised by now? With Haymitch things always came in double the amount.

But double the babies, double the pain.

And she screamed two times louder as she delivered her second miracle of the day.

"You are marvelous, my child, truly marvelous! Say hello to your baby boy!" her boys cries echoed, and her head was banging with exhaustion – but she could not wait to meet her little boy.

Her father put him on her chest, checked her vitals and said something about updating Mr. Heavensbee about the news. As she held him in her arms, her heart filled with bliss and her face filled with sweat - she thought about the fact that she was never as happy as she was at that very moment.

And that’s when her boy opens his eyes to reveal a shade of stormy gray eyes and she could almost see a grin formed on his face – just like his father.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: The Children

District Thirteen, living area XC12, quarter number 112.

"Last call for Helena-Salome and Jannaeus Alexander, please Report to the district command complex immediately.”

The sound came out of the amplifier in the upper corner of their compartment. "I thought they would realize by now that our family name was not 'Alexander'” said Helena with frustration. “Well at least they don't know our true family name” replied Helena's twin brother Jannaeus, who set on the other bunk bed in front of her.

There was this thing their mother kept repeating in their ears every day since they could remember – "being a part of the Trinket family is a synonym for hardship and bad reputation, and they should always aspire to rise above it– and even if they were being somewhat protected by their wealth, money cannot by them etiquette or determination." But here in the dark underground district Thirteen – which they both referred to as "the Hole" - they realized that here, the Trinket name was the equivalent to a death sentence, ironically because of their mother’s “rising above it” and her trying to help their late aunt Proserpina with her work in The Hunger Games over twenty-five years ago. On the day they got there, while the third quarter quell aired on TV, two peacekeepers appeared at their house, took them and brought them to this place. Mister Heavensbee, an old man dressed in a purple suit like all the important people did, was the one to welcome them when they first arrived. He was their mother's acquaintance, who they had met before -and during the past year and a half they drove once a week to his house for tutoring session in his huge library. Since they were home-schooled by their mother for most of the year, the change of scenery excited them.

Now, that said change dreaded them to the core.

He explained their mother asked him to watch over them and as of now they will be known as His young proteges – hence under his protection. He told them they need to do whatever they are being told to do – said by the schedule, printed daily on their forearms or by any authority figure, not to get into trouble and under any circumstances – not to mention anything about their ancestry.

“You think we Should go? I don’t want them to send the guards on us” said Jannaeus.

“Me neither” agreed Helena “but here’s what I think - I do not trust them one bit. The last time they called us like that we found ourselves in laundry duty for eight hours a day for a month!”

Both children had the feeling it was out of spite. They claimed to treat everybody equally but while the other kids their age went to school –from the districts and the Capitol. They figured that out from Two brothers named Vick and Rory from Twelve who they considered somewhat trustworthy. They thanked their mother for always encouraging them to network whenever they were around children their age, otherwise they would never find out about that, and kept out of their lack of knowledge – to wash district thirteen suspiciously dirty bedsheets. Helena tried to shake the experience and the questionable stains away and continued.

“On the other hand, Mister Heavensbee told us to follow the rules because they punish those who won’t. Besides, they never let us in command, even to talk to our so-called guardian. We are ten years old, and all the people in the command are adults. Which means they have an adult business that we are involved in and have no choice but to tell us about. And the only thing I can think of is that... is it something about mom? We haven’t heard anything about her all this time” Helena said with a frown.

You can always trust his sister to come up with the most elaborate and complicated theories, Jannaeus thought.

He tried not to think of their mother, he missed her terribly – Both of them did. They knew she would never leave them like that if she wasn’t in trouble. And the only “adult” thing he could imagine in connection to her was that they are going to tell them she is dead and that they were going to be stuck in this place for all eternity.

“If she is dead I don’t wanna know" The boy murmured.

“Would you stop? we don’t know that.” his sister tried to reassure him.

“We are at war, and when there is a war people die.” Jannaeus spat.

“Mom is not dead! And quit with the president Snow quoting, someone could tell on us – and I will tell Mom what you said!”

“If she is dead she wouldn't be able to lecture me about that, so the jokes on you Helena!"

“I told you - Mom is not dead! Next time you say that I swear I'm going to…"

The door to their compartment swaged open with an aggressive drag. Both children turned their heads, frightened - in the direction of the noise. A thin young woman stood at the entrance.  Her hair was cut very short, and she looked like she wanted to hit someone. Her face was of someone they saw before, but they couldn't place it so They didn't dare to move a muscle and did the only thing they could and just stared at the woman.

“Please... we didn’t mean to... not following the rules” Jannaeus mumbled “we were just... our guardian told us...” Helena tried to finish their plea, but her throat wanted to close at that exact moment.

They ignored them for too long, they are going to put them in prison, like the guy with the royal blue hair who stole the yogurt from Jannaeus’s tray the other day and was taken away, only to come back two weeks later, back Hunched and face injured, flinching every time somebody even looked at him.

And that was about to be their fate.

“You’re Heavensbee’s kids?” The woman said in a tone the children could only interpret as apathetic. They looked at each other and the woman took that as a yes. “Good, grab your stuff and let’s get the hell out of here.”

As she talked, Jannaeus remembered why she was so familiar. “You're a victor… Johanna Maison. Is that right, miss? "Asked Jannaeus hesitantly.

They knew that some Hunger Game Victors were also in The Hole - They heard Mister Heavenesbee talking with the gray-haired president about a mission to rescue some of them and they also saw Katniss Everdeen, one of their mother’s victors and her younger sister walking around on their way from yet another laundry shift. They thought asking the victor if she knew something about their mother's whereabouts, but never dared to approach her though, as they were not supposed to mention their mother to anyone. They liked Katniss on TV and their mother surely loved her – but they were not going to take their chances.

“You are damn right, kid. Now don’t go around and waste my time, we have a long hovercraft flight to the Capitol.” Johanna said, annoyed and somewhat flattered all at once.

“Wait... are we going home?” Helena asked. “Your home, my worst nightmare - same thing. Now you two need to come with me to the hovercraft or I will have to drag you out of here myself, so don’t play games with me - I survived two of those."

They didn’t need to be told twice. They stood up quickly and without looking back - followed Johanna to the hovercraft.

-----

The presidential mansion, Effie's room.

Effie was finally asleep.

Even with her newly acquired nightmares coming and going in waves – welcome to the club, Eff - She was so exhausted, that the doctor didn’t even have to sedate her, but the IV bag contained morphling for her pain so she was bound to sleep for a couple of hours at least. Her heart monitor that one of the nurses attached to her chest showed her heart is back to a study, normal pace.

She was breathing slowly, in and out and for a while he just watched her. Her blond hair in contrast to the white cotton sheets, which highlighted the red hues of her hair when the sunset shimmered through the window above her. Painful reminder of his Lenore dove and the red hues of her hair and his failure once again.

Effie's skin, clean from any makeup, was paler and duller than he recalls. Her arms, covered in bruises – rainbow color patches of old blood, fresh cuts and old scars. She looked in her sleep as tiny and helpless as he felt. It’s my fault you are in this state, Haymitch thought, I did that to you.

She stood by his side, always - watching over him. Making sure he stays sober, clean, and properly dressed. But now, whenever she looked at him -and often she wasn’t - he was nothing more than a fly in her orbit, one you must kill by hitting it with a shoe right against the wall.

I want a drink, he thought, to sit in a bar cart full of booze to drown in - and to never wake up.

He was not even surprised with her behavior towards him. But the fact she never told him about... while choosing to confide with Plutarch about her children - In plural – bothered him.

Effie Trinket has children.

Effie Is a mother.

And he never knew, she never told him.

She knows everything about his family, not that there is much to know about - not after he won the games he was supposed to die in, and by defying Snow's request - brought death upon them.

He didn’t even know she had a partner, let alone a family of her own.

I’m her family, and she is mine.

The urgency of that thought alarmed him so much that he could feel his hands shaking more than they should have now that he was sober. He couldn’t think like that – everything he touched turn into ashes – except Effie.

And you had to risk it, didn’t you?

He stormed out from the chair set next to her bed, almost making it fall on the floor and started pacing around the room, aggressively rubbing his face in frustration and disbelief. He knew he wasn’t the perfect... whatever they were to each other, but he thought she at least trusted him, ever since he promised he wouldn’t hurt her.

"I know that" she said "I know who you are, ever since you helped me with my makeup box". And yet He didn’t know about her kids, but Plutarch did. The man who pushed and manipulated her into being both district twelve’s escort and stylist against her will had known and he wasn’t?

There had to be a reasonable explanation for the whole thing.

His mind raced with theories but stopped the vibration of his communicator that showed the words Requested– Infirmary- Emergency Room in green squared lettering.

Katniss.

He gave one last squeeze and a gentle kiss to Effie's palm, whispering his farewell. With a promise of returning as soon as he could – he sprinted out of her room in the direction of the infirmary.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: The Amity

June 30^th, four days before the reaping ceremony of the 65^th annual Hunger games.

Effie had a bad feeling.

But it wasn’t the same eerie feeling that always settled in her stomach before the games began - she tried to reach Haymitch on the phone for about a week now, knowing that she would not be able to communicate with him as the reaping was approaching.

And usually by reaping day – his birthday – he would be drowned in that overwhelmingly strong liquor that they sold in the Hob – district twelve's black-market Plutarch told her about briefly, after 'politely asking' her to be district twelve's new escort over fifteen years ago.

Usually It took Haymitch a while, but he did pick up the phone eventually, grumbling impatiently as she said the usual words that were expected of her and after a few more pleasantries on her end, Haymitch always ended the conversation with "I walked off the platform just in time, didn't I?" referencing what she told him to do in the launch room, seconds before his game began. Over the years it was his way of telling her he is not dead just yet, and to not fuss too much.

She will never tell him but that indeed puts her mind at ease, even if every time he repeated that sentence it felt like a bad omen she never wanted to acknowledge.

But he didn’t answer his phone now – and that was a bad omen she could not ignore.

She drove straight to the Heavensbee resident, banging on Plutarch's door and urging him to help her out. He let her in and guided her to the sitting room as she hysterically said, "I think Haymitch overdosed!"

He suggested arranging that peacekeepers should be sent to his house for Welfare Check - Not good enough. "If he Is just passed out, they will scare him, and who knows what he will do? He is the victor of the 50^th quarter quell after all – we don’t want any unnecessary bloodshed now, do we?"

She knew Haymitch is a kind man and that he would never hurt her, but she didn’t want him to wake up in his drunken state only to find that he was surrounded by peacekeepers. He sometimes hallucinates when he drinks like that, seeing things that came back from the arena to hunt him down. She didn’t want him to face the peacekeepers on top of that. He wasn’t a bad man, but if it will bring her closer to him, to making sure he was okay – she will paint that poster gladly.

All she could think about is that she needed to be with him now, that he at least should see a friendly face when he wakes up. "And what about you risking your own life, miss Trinket? If he is as unpredictable as you say he is?" he repeated the expected answer, but since she never asked him to arrange for her a way to get to twelve – it looks like he was on the same mind as her in that regard "I've known Haymitch Abernathy and dealt with his drunken outbursts more times than I can count, and he wouldn’t dare to hurt me - since he knows what will happened if he did." She spoke with confidence and added a bit of theatricality to the mix, for the dramatic effect.

"And you are aware of the fact that the Trinkets are more than just a pretty, decorative thing – we can manage our own." The Trinkets indeed could – and it shows clearly if you compare the rumors to their estimated wealth after said rumors were spread– the Trinkets were capable enough and it was well known. "Are you sure you can manage this? And what if he is dead?"

Plutarch Heavensbee you would regret putting that notion in my mind again, she thought but bounced right back to the conversation.

"In his final moments you think he would rather be handled by peacekeepers or by me? Because I think we both know it’s the latter. And if he is truly gone – I don’t want him to be alone, he..." she choked for a second "he deserves to have someone who cares by his side".

That part wasn’t a lie, and Plutarch knew not to dig further. And thus, the final nail on the metaphorical coffin set the deal – she would take a train to district twelve first thing in the morning - undercover.

Plutarch gave her a brief of how things are going to work out –she was supposed to arrive to the district around five in the morning, and at that time he will contact his "old friend" from twelve.

"How come you have a friend in twelve?" she asked in surprise. "Maybe I'll tell you one day" he replied with an amused laugh "but I will not be able to contact him until the very moment the train arrives at the station. So please, listen to me carefully- I don’t want you out of the train before he gets there. He will bring you clothing so you will be able to walk to the victory village without attracting unwanted attention".

Only now she realized she would be sneaking into district twelve, and it dreaded her.

But Haymitch needed her, she had no privilege to be scared now. "When you get to Victor's village you will give him half of the money, he will wait five minutes outside of Haymitch's house in case anything happens. Give him the other half when he comes to pick you up the night before the reaping ceremony and he will get you back on the train. So, when the morning of the reaping comes it would look like you just arrived – straight from the capitol."

She wrote a mental note to bring another change of former clothes and a first Aid kit just in case and nodded to Plutarch "understood."

"Good" Plutarch said "then it's settled."

She nodded at his direction again and rose up from her seat, turned to walk back to her car when Plutarch called her again "I forgot the most important thing; if he is in fact dead in there – you will walk out quietly and tell my friend to take you to the hiding place in the Justice building and from that moment on you will not be leaving the building until reaping morning. You will act as if you don’t know a thing, as if it is just a regular reaping day."

She understood what he said, she knew that this needed to be done. And she knew that a plan in case Haymitch was… dead was necessary. "Understood." She said again and quickly walked back to her car and Plutarch did not escort her to the door as is customary in their society – he probably knew she would not appreciate that. When She settled in the front seat of her car, then and only then she gave herself one minute to cry and not one second more. She let herself cry about how scared she truly was – about sneaking into district Twelve illegally, about potentially getting arrested. But more than that – she cried for the small chance she might not see Haymitch again.

----

At the hovercraft, on the way to The Capitol.

The place Johanna led them to was busy with people, different kinds of vehicles and people that drove said vehicles - all created a curtaining bubble of noise that echoed and amplified and then came back ten folds when it hit a hard surface.

As they walked Helena touched Jannaeus’s shoulder and whispered in his ear “we are outside” Helena said, emphasizes on the word outside “you need to put on your glasses.”

“Oh, no - I almost forgot!”

Jannaeus said as he pulled the glasses from the front pocket of his uniform and quickly pressed them against the bridge of his nose.

Glasses in general are considered a fashionable item for adults, and even though they were "on the rise" for the last few years according to the ever-changing magazine collection that were always available next to the toilet back home – when it comes to children and especially in Jannaeus’s case, the glasses served a rather different purpose.

Usually when people who had the audacity to ask about his eyewear, their mother would tell firmly that he had a vision problem, which the glasses fixed – And to add to the credibility, showed them the medical certificate attesting to his condition that is signed by none other than their grandfather, who was a very famous Doctor.

Jannaeus wore glasses to hide the color of his eyes.

He wore them all his life ever since he could remember, and he never understood why since even grandfather said his vision was perfect – and he did not need glasses. But his mother asked him to, and he wanted his mom to be happy.

But he always asked her why – why he must wear glasses and Heleni wasn’t? he got the same answer every time – "I'll tell you when you both be old enough to understand, alright my love?" always accompanied by a hug and a suggestion of ice cream.

He hadn’t eaten ice cream with mom for so long.

And he probably will never have a chance to ask her about the glasses.

They reached to their hovercraft, which was even bigger than the one they arrived in – and hurried after Johanna as she moved past the guards and barked at them "the kids are with me, Heavensbee's orders."

Inside the hovercraft set two other people – a brown-haired woman who seemed a bit off and an older man with glasses, who set in a wheelchair. "Well, it seems everybody is here" said the man when they entered "we are ready for take-off." It took them another thirty minutes to take off, and another long flight ahead.

"Want to play 'Compliword'? Helena suggested "that’s a good idea" Jannaeus replied. It’s a game they invented when they started their weekly studies at mister Heavensbee's mention – he gave them lots of books to read, in some of them - words they never heard before, and those ones usually took them some time to pronounce. They needed to remember words and their meaning for their lessons – and that’s how Compliwords came to be. Each of them needed to say a complicated or an unknown word in turn alphabetically, and you lose by not coming up with a word.

"Atrocity" Jannaeus began.

"Belligerent" Helena continued

"Cajole"

"Demagogue"

"Equivocate"

"Fatuous"

"Well, I would beg to differ" called the man in the wheelchair suddenly, startling them both. "What?" Helena asked, scrunching her forehead. "Fatuous means 'Devoid of intelligence', which clearly does not represent the two of you." He talked in a quick-funny accent, but different from people from district thirteen.

"Thank you, sir" Helena replied "want to play with us? Games are more fun with more people." The man sucked in air from his nose and exhaled it in ragged breaths, a small smile began to form under his mustache as he replied "Yes, I would love to play with you, I would love it very much."

"You are the best, sir!" Helena said as they walked closer to the man, both held out their hands to introduce themselves. "My name is Helena, and this is my brother Jannaeus" the man excepted their handshake with both of his palms integrated with theirs "my name is Beetee Latier, always a pleasure to account with fine children as yourself" his introduction got a laugh out of them.

"That’s a unique pair of glasses you’ve got there, son" said Beetee as he gestured his head to Jannaeus. "Thank you, sir, "the boy replied "I can't see very well so… I have to wear them." He replied, repeating the script that had been said so many times he could no longer count.  "My friend from back home is an expert of lenses – specifically cameras and glasses. It looks like one of his fine works, do you mind if I take a look young man?" the question was polite, but Jannaeus remembered his mother's order – to never let anyone see him without the glasses other than her, his sister and weirdly mister Heavensbee.

And at this moment he was grateful for his sister and her attention to details that got him out of answering Beetee's question.

"Wait, I know who you are! You are a victor, right? Our mothe… I mean I think I saw you on TV once… I guess." Helena said. Watching the Hunger Games was mandatory, and the victors were always on screen. But Beetee was featured in many stories and commentaries about advanced technology, and those programs were Jannaeus favorite – so they watched it a lot together. "Yes, I am" Beetee said quietly as he let go of their hands "and what do you think of that?" he asked.

Helena and Jannaeus looked at each other "well it's just… you are the second victor that we meet today sir, and we never had a conversation with a victor before. It's just weird to talk with two victors in one day when we never talked to one before" Jannaeus murmured. they never got to meet the victor their mother worked with, not that they wanted to meet that one anyway – he had the tendency to vomit without being sick, and that was disgusting. Beetee rubbed his chin and replied "uhm - well, it is weird when you think about this and since you are from the Capitol you probably have your favorite." Both scrunch their faces "not really" Helena said "The victors are odd, well except for you sir – you are nice!" Jannaeus continued the line of speech.

The statement made Beetee laugh "well thank you, and I cannot say that us victors being 'odd' is incorrect since we have our own… let's call it 'shared experiences'. one day you father might tell you, when the war would come to its end."

Their father? Jannaeus was confused, very confused.

This victor – Beetee – just assumed that they had a father.

Isn't it kind of rude?

But it is obvious, right? For a child to have a father.

They were the odd men out and they have the choice of they want to explain it or not.

"Um, we don’t have a father sir… I mean of course we have a father, but we never met him before." Jannaeus mumbled and Beetee's face got gloomy "oh, my apologies I must have misunderstood. It was mentioned that we were waiting for "Heavensbee's kids." So, aren’t you…?"

That man was funny, the kids thought to themselves.

"No sir, mister Heavensbee is our guardian" Helena said "we met him last year and we used to go to his library to read books and learn things our mother couldn’t teach us." She added cheerfully, trying not to think of her mother too much.

Beetee's face lit up "now I understand – you are just under his care, right?" both kids shook their heads in approval. "Well, it was wrong of me to assume, guess even smart people don’t get things right."

"It's okay, you couldn’t have known" Helena answered.

A smile formed on the victor's face "great! So, how about you show me how to play your game?" the kids' faces beamed as they explained the rules.

---

When they arrived at The Capitol many hours later the kids ran straight out, before anyone had noticed.

Beetee thought that There is something odd about them – they were from The Capitol, no doubt with that accent. But they were also… very articulate, polite and very much not into the games.

They seemed to have the etiquette of someone who understands somebody is always watching  

Also calling them- the victors -odd. That was one funny way to describe them, he had to admit. at the same time as they claimed that they never spoke with a victor before that day.

and the boy – Jannaeus's – glasses, were an expensive piece of technology. Those type of lenses weren't usually used for eyewear, especially if there is an actual vision problem since it is impossible to add fixation to this specific type of Lense - Flint Glass to be specific is usually used for science equipment, since it reflects light wonderfully.

He remembered those glasses– about seven years ago the optician, same one to make his own glasses asked him the morning of the reaping that year to deliver a package to Plutarch Heavensbee, which he delivered without asking too much – those exchanges happened frequently, and you could never know who was watching.

When Plutarch opened the package and revealed the pair of glasses, he knew something was strange about them.

Now that he looked at the boy, he knew what.

He could not tell what his eye color was.

Johanna moved past him to get off the hovercraft and he grabbed her forearm to stop her. "I have some suspicions about those kids, keep your eyes on them when you can" he whispered. "They are Heavensbee's responsibility, not mine" Johanna argued, but she did the same and whispered– maybe she understood something too. "But there are not his kids, and they look nothing like him. Also, the boy wears glasses that can change the appearance of your eye color."

"Then Why let the kid wear some glasses when they can have surgery to change it?" Johanna pointed out.

"Exactly!" Beetee said "also, regardless of their accent – I think they are not fully capitol." She twisted her face in disgust "do you think they are…" Beetee nodded, sexual relationships between district and capitol people were considered bad and tabu at best, dangerous at worse - and in the victors' case – an unhuman affair of being used and abused. "So, the question is why Plutarch Heavensbee take under his wing two young potentially half-breed children?" a shocking understanding formed on Johanna's face "you don’t think… they belong to one of us?"

"I don’t know, I think the answer is within the boys' eyes but in the meantime – keep your look out." He ordered Johanna and rolled out of the hovercraft as one thought kept spiraling in his mind - he couldn’t let another victor's child die -not under his watch, not if he could help it.

.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: The Amity part II

July 1st, three days before the reaping ceremony of the 65^th annual Hunger games.

The train Plutarch arranged for her was not quite at the standard she was used to from years past – everything was made of this orange-colored plastic material, that is used to manufacture children's toys. It used to be a trend of sort during Haymitch's games but even then, she found it tacky since it was used so often – especially when they would pair that with the animal parts. She didn’t dare to complain to the staff who gave her funny looks when she boarded the train. They were not from the Capitol, she was sure of it, but it still was hard for her to place them though. District six perhaps? It was logical since district six specialty was transportation. She did not dare to investigate, she didn’t dare to open her mouth and ask, not wanting any attention drawn to herself. And exactly at that moment one of the train staff members, a young skinny man who was dressed in overalls and a long use-to-be-white shirt, decided to approach her.

"May I offer you some bread miss? It's been a long ride, and I haven’t seen you in the dining cart" He smiled at her as he offered her the small bun.  Yes, he was in fact from six - She recognized his accent from when she was visiting the district during Haymitch's victory tour. "Thanks." she said and took the bread from his hand. She didn’t think she ever used that formation of gratitude, ever. But she was trying not to sound Capitol – that will make people suspicious at best – so she tried to mimic Haymitch's way of speaking since it was the most familiar to her. "It is not every day that we have the honor to drive such a lovely looking lady like yourself on this old thing". He was going straight to the prize now, didn’t he? "I think I'm too old for you kid but thank you anyway".

She was thirty-four, not that old now with how long people lived those days but since she was a woman and had no operations done – to some people she was in the start of her "old hag" faze.

"I would not give you a day over twenty and even that is kind of a stretch" said the man as he leaned just a tiny bit closer.

That made Effie's brows go up in surprise.

He Laughed "I'm not kidding miss; it's been a while since I saw a beauty like yourself".

And it has been a while since somebody had given her such compliments, and it made her reminisce about her university years, when she used to be the life of the parties of her own making, the romantic gestures and relationships brought on her doorstep and the way she was a person her peers could look up to. Working in the games killed her dating life, and not because of the suiters – they kept coming in the beginning. She just could not trust any of them, and they could not really understand her line of work and even if they worked in the games too, they seemed shallow to her – almost arrogant in the way they looked down upon the districts - both victors and tributes and viewed them as wild animals. She broke up with her last boyfriend because of the way he kept talking about Haymitch as if he was a savage. She excused it by telling him that a man who feels like he must take down someone less fortunate than him to make himself look better or to fuel his fragile ego - was not the type of man she wished to date.

But honestly? Even drunk, Haymitch was more of a man then any of them.

Great, and now she was anxious again.

"Are you alright miss?" the man from six asked, but before she could come up with an answer, the Train suddenly began to slow down and stopped abruptly. The horn called and someone shouted "district Twelve – all men to platform! I repeat – the train arrived at district Twelve; all men are to go down the platform."

"That’s my calling" the man from six said shyly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand "gotta go, it was nice to meet you miss" and with that he ren off outside the train, like all the other staff – to stand at the oh so familiar district Twelfth platform.

She stayed where she was, eating her bread- which was surprisingly good -and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

For what felt like hours.

She felt like she was about to burst.

If she could have – she would run off the damn train. But then she will surely get arrested. And then Haymitch would be alone, the thought creeped in her mind - I don’t want to leave him all alone.

At that exact moment, the train door to her left open and a man passed through it. He scattered the carriage until his eyes fell on her.

He looked at her, absorbed her in such persistence – in the way he knew what to look for. He gestures her to come towards him and before she opens her mouth to ask anything he puts his finger on his lips and without a sound, moves his mouth to make the word bugs. Of course, the train is most likely bugged.

He was holding a bag, which he threw at her direction. Inside there several pieces of clothing – a shirt, boots, a large handkerchief – probably to be used as a headcover - and what seemed to be a mining overall.

She did not need to be told twice. She put on the clothing – they were surprisingly only one or two size larger – and tied the handkerchief around the complicated braids she tried to recreate from her memories of the type of hairdo her female tributes pulled off.

The man – who thanks Panam – had the decency to respect her modesty – put the simple and yet way too bright of an outfit she wore earlier inside the bag, grabbed her hand and walked her out of the train. They moved past a container filled to the brim with black coal. The man whispered to her "rub some of this on your face – your skin's too clean; you'll stand out like an eyesore even with those clothes."  With no arguments she did just that – who would have believed Effie Trinket would ever rub her face with pure unfiltered coal?

In seconds they were back on their merry way. After ten minutes of walking, he opened his mouth again.

 "This area is not bugged from what I know – we have about twenty minutes before we reach the village." She nodded but kept her mouth shut, she was more focused on what she was about to face – a drunk Haymitch? A Passed out Haymitch? Dead Haymitch?

"So, you're Effie trinket" the man said slowly, as if he is making sure saying her name aloud wouldn't cause him to blow up. "And you are?" she answered with her newly acquired district Twelve accent.

She was rewarded with a surprised look and a smile "you are full of surprises, aren’t you?" he said with his warm baritone voice "I'm Burdock Everdeen".

She knew that name from somewhere, Effie thought to herself; she could not place it at that moment though. Burdock spoke again, pulling her out of her head "the other guy couldn’t make it, so I was asked to help – hopefully it's not an issue."

Effie weirdly, didn’t mind– he seemed trustworthy, maybe it has something to do with the familiar gray colored eyes. "As long as you take me to where I need to be – we won't have any problems."

"Glad it's settled" burdock said.

They walked in silence, with him observing her every now and then. She wasn’t surprised by that – she was this district's escort after all, an 'eye sore' as he referred to her. She usually wasn’t bothered by people's staring; it was a regular thing that tended to occur whenever she entered a new space. Sometimes it was because of her looks, but most of the time it’s her family name and the bad reputation that followed it since the dark days. It usually took about a month for people to start to look at her with admiration and affection rather than hostility or resentment – she made it into an art form by that point. But she didn’t have the time or energy for that today and if she was being honest This whole situation had shrunk her patience to a size of a pea. "If you have something to say – please just say it; it will make both of our life easier." She never uttered words so blunt in her life, it’s that damn district accent – she was sure of it.

"Making my life easier? No, not really". Burdock said, "but maybe it will help me solve this enigma."

He took a deep breath before asking "why would a district help a Capitol?"

How's that relevant to anything?

With her fake accent sharp as ever, she replied, somewhat annoyed "You probably took the job because it pays well, and you need the money to put food on the table. like any exchange – you can do something I need, and for me to be able to enjoy the benefits of having that something – payment is required. It is that simple, really."

"Maybe I'll ask more bluntly" Burdock slowly said.  "Why am I helping you? Why are you here - three days before you need to be here, wearing old mining clothing and coal dust as disguise? Why did you go for all this trouble just to reach Victor's village before its due? Why would the district help the Capitol?"

His tone was harsh– almost threatening. Those things usually didn’t even make her bet an eye. But every word he said felt so... raw, his face full of agony - Like he was questioning every decision that brought them together.

And if she was struck by lightning – she knew the answer. "Because the district is kind, and he's brave, and good. And the only way he will open up – its if someone will come, give him a hand and help him out."

The answer seemed to satisfy Burdock, judging by his smirk. "that’s Haymitch all right, or at least how he used to be". The last part of the sentence made her heart skip a bit but before she could ask him, he continued "he was my best friend, long time ago."

And then she remembered - "I think he mentioned you once". in one of his drunken hazes about five years ago, but still.

"Really?" he seemed truly surprised by that "Since what happened to his family... and my cousin Lenore dove..." he's family with Haymitch's girl. Please don’t let this be another bad omen, please. "He changed, kept everybody out. Honestly, I tried for a while – never thought he didn’t give a damn, I knew he was miserable. And until he threw that rock at my wife – I never thought I'd lose my best friend."

Oh, Haymitch. Why did I let you go through this alone?

"I couldn’t tolerate it after that, and he knew it. So, I made the hard choice to stay back." Burdock said, as if the memory seemed to burden him. He paused and then turned to Effie. "I'm glad he has someone who he never managed to push away."

"Well, I'd like to see him try" Effie said with a small grin.

When they reach the entrance to the victor's village, they both got into work mode – Burdock stayed at the entrance, while Effie ren towards Haymitch's house. Without hesitation, she burst through the door into the dark hallways of his house. The smell was horrible as usual, and she navigated through the house she knew by heart – looking for him. She didn’t find him on the first floor though and anxiously she took the stairs to the second floor. She scattered every corner, and the house was too quiet for her liking. She kept looking -while breathing and shaking rapidly – and she felt like she was on fire.

Effie entered what she considered to be Haymitch's bedroom – and he wasn’t there. She thought that maybe he accidentally fell asleep in the guest room down the hall. And then, just when she was about to go and look for him there – in the corner of her eye – she saw him.

On the floor, drowning in his own vomit.

"Haymitch!" she heard herself screaming. "Haymitch, wake up!"

She crotches down to his level to try and shake him awake, or check his pulse, or... whatever it takes for him to be alive.

And in a split second she heard herself gasp– she fell to the floor, her forearm throbbed – and she heard faint footsteps that ren up the stairs. Her head was spinning a bit and when she looked up, she thought she was imagining – Haymitch, staring at her with horror, holding his knife that now had a streak of fresh blood at the edge of its blade.

"Effie?" he slurped "what are you doing..." he mumbled as his eyes found her bleeding forearm, and he hissed. "How did that... did I..?" but before he could say another word, Effie jumped at him. "You are alive! You are alive…" she cried and embraced him. "You didn’t pick up the phone, and I thought you were dead and I…" she wept into the crook of his neck - he smelled horrendous, and she was so happy.

He wrapped both his arms around her too, just as Burdock burst thought the door of the bedroom "Effie what happened? I heard you scream."

"Call Astrid, she's hurt!" Haymitch shouted while releasing her from his embrace and placed his hand on her shoulders "and tell her to bring bandages and something to disinfect the wound, the knife was not..."

"Haymitch, we don’t need to call anyone I have..." Effie whispered but Haymitch brutally cuts her off.

"The hell we don’t – look at your hand! Why did you think it’s a good idea to try and wake me up when the knife is in my hand!? Damnit Effie, you know better than..."

"I thought you were dead! I tried to call you for weeks and You didn’t pick up your phone, and I thought you were dead!" the tears came back in full speed, running across her face.

The room is quiet except for her heart beating and the sound of her misery.

"Hey, princess, look at me" Haymitch said as he gently grabbed her face with his hands, drying off her tears. "Look at me – I did go of the platform just in time, didn’t I?'

And with that, it felt like she was alive again.

"Uh... I will go to Astrid and bring some bandages" Burdock said, somewhat uncomfortable. Effie, while keeping her eyes on Haymitch, repeated "there's No Need" And before Haymitch could protest she added "I brought a first aid kit with me – it is in my bag, next to the main entrance." Burdock hummed and went back downstairs.

Haymitch and Effie kept looking at each other, Effie still not grasping what just happened. She fell like all she ever wants to do was to look at his eyes – lovely as ever and alive.

And then she smelled herself.

"Ugh, Haymitch! I'm covered in puke!" Effie cried while she looked down at her disguise – ruined.

"Well, it wasn’t my fault you weren’t looking before jumping at me! You should have thought about that!" Haymitch laughed, pointing his finger at her.

"Maybe you should answer your phone and not worry me like that!" Effie pointed right back at him.

He sighed and rubbed his face with his palm "I accidentally tore it off the wall a few weeks ago, figured he wouldn’t like it, and you would come eventually to fix it."

Burdock came back with her bag and took out the first aid kit and was about to tend her hand – which she weirdly forgot about –Haymitch said "I'll do it, go to your wife. I'm sure you would be better off spending Sunday with her and the girls than here."

They looked at each other as if it’s a challenge, as if to see which one would be the man to put the stick in the ground. Eventually Burdock sighs and turns back to Effie "I'll come pick you up on the night before the reaping."

Effie nodded "thank you Burdock, for everything."

"You're welcome, miss Trinket." And she thought she caught a smile in there – and she cherished that small victory. "Oh, and I almost forgot – the first half of the money is in the purple envelope in my bag."

He seemed surprised about the money – didn’t he know he was compensated for this? He hesitantly took the envelope and opened it.

His face snapped back into her, his eyes all teary and surprised "miss Trinket..."

"Please call me Effie."

"Effie... are you sure? "This amount is..." he stuttered, as if he didn’t earn that fair and square. "You earned it, there is no shame in that!" 

"If you say so" Burdock said, out of breath. "See you later".

"Goodbye Burdock". And with that he was out the door.

----

The presidential mansion, Effie's room.

Katniss has woken up and he had to tell her the hard truth about prim's death.

History repeats itself round and round like clockwork, and the souls of those who stay is Filled with sorrow and grief, and they carry that loss with them for all eternity.

Haymitch wondered if that’s what he looked like when he lost everyone he had ever cared about.

When Katniss fell asleep, he went on to visit Peeta who received severe burns while trying to save Katniss from the same bomb that killed her sister- Snow's Final kill was the hardest of them all.

That man who turned Haymitch's life into hell – will be dead in two weeks and his mission will be complete and his duty to Lenore Dove fulfilled.

After visiting the kids he went straight to Effie's room, who was still asleep. In her sleep she seemed a bit like her old self – gentle and almost calm if you consider Effie Trinket to be a calm person, but that somehow put his mind at somewhat of an ease.

He moved a stray curl out of her face, tacking it behind her ear. Effie would do a much better job than I did in dealing with prim's death, Haymitch pondered and not just because she has the experience.

Both Effie and him had the experience of losing family to the capitol – but Effie dealt with it better than he ever could, she seemed almost unwavered by the "incident" that killed her younger sister Proserpina about eight years ago. It was a warning to her, no doubt and in high sight it was her third "mark" – the first was being a trinket, the second wad her standing by his side when all she had to do was being Drusilla 2.0.

And third times a charm – or in snows case third time is poison.

All and all Effie went straight back to work, like it didn’t happen. At the time it seemed to him like she was inhuman for being able to bounce back from such tragedy. Effie's sister was the person who was the most important to her, how could she even find the strength to wake up and not drown herself in something strong?

Could this be because of her children? Effie never abandons her own – so leaving her children alone while she grieved? That’s not her style.

She had them to keep on living for.

As a result of that – she was able to be there for him and to hold everything together while he grieved…

He reached for her palm holding it gently between his own palms and began stroking her bruised knuckles. Her hand felt so small and delicate and precious compared to his and he resisted the urge and kissed her hand, holding it against his lips. A weird awkward feeling flooded him, and he stopped but kept her hand in his and returned to stroking it, while he just watched her.

Suddenly the door burst open cutting him from his longing, and two kids looked about nine or ten, wearing district Thirteen's standard uniforms, crossed the threshold to the room and sprinted straight towards Effie's bed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: The Twins and The Familiar

The presidential mansion, Effie's room.

"Mom!" the boy cried out and was just about to start running when the girl held her hand in front of him when she spotted Haymitch. Her eyes went straight to Effie and Haymitch's linked hands, and He quickly let go of her hand but did not leave her side

He just... absorbed the sight of them.

The girl looked like a copy of Effie, only younger - with a slightly darker version of her unique shade of blond-red hair that reached slightly under her shoulders with bouncy curls at the ends, and her eyes were so fiercely blue. And judging by her demeanor, she wanted to penetrate a hole in his head for even daring to touch Effie – well, that’s Effie's kid alright.

The boy looked somewhat familiar, and he couldn’t pin it down - maybe it was his glasses. His hair was dark brown and curlier than the girl, but Haymitch couldn’t figure his eye color and somehow the fact that his skin was a lighter shade set him off, as If something was not quite right.

And then there was his face - he could have sworn he saw that face before...

Suddenly, like a miracle, like a shooting star on a clear night – like a mine explosion – he knew who that boy looked like.

From that moment on – his life was never the same again.

"Sid?" his voice crackled.

No, no, no... it’s not happening.

Not again…  How can that be?

Snow was defeated; they won!

How...  How's that even possible?

They’re Mutts, they must be mutts.

Mutts that they modified to take the place of Effie's kids and kill her - like hell he’d let that happened.

He saw red and as if he was transmitted back to the arena - his one and only mission was to keep those monsters away.

He can’t let those mutts get to Effie.

“Stay the hell away from her!” He launched towards the mutts. They’re small, he can easily take them down - Everything to keep her safe. The two mutts stepped back, the one that looked like Sid tried to run but fell on its butt. Just as he was about to hit the mutt with his fist, he jolted as he felt the throbbing pain in his groin.

Haymitch screamed in agony and was able to open his eyes for a second to see it was the girl – she was strong that one - before both sprinted towards Effie's bed. “Mom!” They screamed simultaneously.

“Step away from her!” Haymitch cried as He ran after them as fast as he could in his current state.

He won't lose her, not again.

—-

“They’re murdering us! They’re murdering us!” Lou-Lou? No, that voice...

“Mom!”

“Helena! Where are you, my love!?”

“Mom, mom!”

“Jannaeus! Helena!”

She tried to scream but no voice came out

Where are they!? Effie could not tell. Everything was dark... 

No, no, no… if something ever happens to them…

“Stay the hell away from her!”

That voice... is familiar… Haymitch's?

Haymitch! He’s here with them! He’s here for his...

She tried to call for him, and her children again- but there was nothing but a black void and muffled sound of her loved ones blending into agonizing screams.

She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t talk, she couldn’t see a thing...

She couldn’t do a thing to save them…

What she had to live for now?

She dropped to her knees crying in agony, silently screaming as if the whole world could hear.

At that moment she jolted and woke from her nightmare. Breathing rapidly and loudly as her eyes opened slowly - and a Bright warm light welcomed her.

She was in heaven.

Her children, her beloved beautiful children were right in front of her - Helena’s gentle adorable nose, Jannaeus’s perfect curls - Just as she remembers them, the most precious things she has, the best thing she has ever done.

“Mom?” Helena murmured, her voice shakes.

Something was not right.

She lifted her arms to cup their cheeks, an action she felt like it took her a lifetime. The moment her palms reached their faces, both children bear- hugged her and cried to her shoulders.

Effie usually didn’t cry - not even while she was in prison, it never did her any good. At that moment - she couldn’t resist the urge to.

---

Some women slap men who did them wrong - but apparently, that little girl thought kicking him in the nuts would be more appropriate.

It was literally painful to witness that she was right.

The throbbing in his manhood woke him up from a haze of rage, his heart beating as if he was threading to come out of his chest, but his vision cleared enough to see what was in front of him - and now that he truly saw it - he couldn’t look away.

The two kids jumped on both sides of the large bed, shaken Effie gently to wake her up. Effie jolted and Haymitch was about to come to her aid, but then Effie moved her palms to the kids' cheeks.

And in the blink of an eye, they became one.

The two children almost crushed Effie and she embraced them as strongly as the sound her heart monitor was making.

It was beautiful, marvelous even.

that beautiful sight made him want to drink like a child who needs his mother… and his brother… and one Lenore dove.

Just one more hug.

He was aching all over, air caged in his throat - And yet he couldn’t look away. He held himself back though, suppressing the urge to approach the bed that hosted this real-life enchantment.

So, he kept quiet, keeping his presence at bay. He felt like the sound of his voice would bring the bundle back to the agony of reality - and who was he with his cold hard misery - to deprive them of each other’s warmth? 

It was probably ten minutes before the boy released himself from the hug, and Effie's palm returned to his cheek, caressing it and whipping a stray tear while the boy leaned to her touch like a lifeline.

Haymitch stood there, almost bursting into tears himself - that was the moment the boy's unidentified colored eyes locked onto his and the kid began to shout as he ran towards him.

“Stay away from us, or I’ll kill you!” The boy looked almost feral, determined to protect his mother and sister.

Nothing like the shocked look he had just had ten minutes ago, as if that family hug gave him the strength of a hundred man.

Haymitch understood that feeling all too well.

It seems like you’ll be able to do your job protecting them better than I did with protecting mine, kiddo.

Haymitch lifted his arms - and did as he was told. “I’m not going anywhere near you kid, hold your horses.” Haymitch said in a tone he thought would be reassuring, not wanting to scare Effie's boy any more than he already did. With the second look at him, Haymitch saw that his complexion was indeed lighter than Sid’s, he stood taller and gazed at him like he wanted him dead.

And then there were his eyes.

different kind of ache simmered in Haymitch's insides, a kind he never felt before - As If he could almost feel his brain being torn apart and putting itself back together at the same time.

“Haymitch?” Effie’s groggy dry and oh so sweet voice called his name, pulling him back to reality. His head jolted up in her direction, her beautiful face shimmered with tear stains - good tears - Haymitch had to remind himself, so he wouldn't indulge in hurting those who caused them - her kids - again.

“Hi, princess.” He said, almost whispering.

“You don’t get to talk to her, hear me? get the hell out!” The boy moved in front of him, trying to block Haymitch's way to Effie's bed.

“Or you need another kick down there?” It was the girl this time, who seemed ready to jump into action.

“Jannaeus, Helena - Stop it, both of you!” Effie said suddenly, scolding. "Now, one of you cares to explain to me what caused you to act in such an uncivilized way? The grogginess in her voice was gone, replaced with a calm yet commending tone. He now could Invision it – Effie bringing those kids up with kindness and confidence.

At least Snow didn’t take that away from her.

“He tried to kill us!” The girl - Helena was her name apparently- called out while pointing a finger to his direction. How rude Haymitch thought, as he tried to stop himself from chuckling from the irony of it all. “So, I kicked him in the… ah…” she paused and pointed down to emphasize.

“He did, mom! We are not lying!” The boy - Jannaeus, tried to explain.

Effie just listened, but he could tell that she was surprised by the whole thing. She blinked once, then twice, took a breath and turned to him, and suddenly He felt the need to get out of there. he couldn’t bear it, the fact that he did try to kill them; he tried to kill Effie's kids, and he was bound to tell her the truth - He broke his only promise to her; that he couldn’t even keep one damn promise.

"I won’t hurt you"

"I know that"

Whatever he touches – he brings misfortune upon.

He should leave them be, Effie will be better off without...

“Haymitch, would you care to explain what happened?”

Haymitch's eyes moved between the three of them, he couldn’t tell her that her kids were in fact right, the thought of admitting it… Somehow, he managed to not hurt someone he cares about – of course only until the moment it truly mattered.

Are you even surprised?

"Haymitch?"

Effie's waiting - you don’t deserve her time. She acknowledges your words like they mean shit, just tell her what happened.

"I thought that… they were…" mutts. Say it. You thought her kids were mutts. But it didn’t feel right, he knew they weren’t.

He couldn’t deal with it anymore.

And the tears started to flow.

He Cried like he hadn’t cried in years while mumbling the only other truth.

"Your boy looks like Sid! And I… thought that Snow…that he send them to kill you and I… I couldn’t let that happened – not again!" he kept crying, the palms of his hand pressed hard on his sockets.

----

Oh Haymitch.

When was the last time Effie saw him cry like that? Or cry at all?

His reaction to potentially hurting her children, as he referred to them – for him just the mere thought of said action caused him to break down like that.

And that's before she had the chance to tell him that they are also his. Haymitch looked so distraught he probably hadn't realized that little detail yet, even with Jannaeus apparent resemblance to his little brother.

Is now the time to tell him? Would he be able to Handle it, or would that destroy him completely? Just At the threshold of a time when he'll finally have the chance to live his life peacefully. And she cannot forget Katniss and Peeta - they both still have an obligation to their victors, and Haymitch breaking down is not an option. Besides, both Haymitch and their children deserve a proper introduction to one another.

Unfortunately, my loves - the family reunion will have to be postponed.

With her mind made up, Effie got off the bed, slowly and painfully trying to take small steps towards him. He needed to know he was forgiven - that his words would always hold the promise he made to her all those years ago.

Haymitch, hearing the ruffling of the bed sheets, jolted and ran to her and firmly caught her just before her inevitable fall. “Effie!” He called, and as if he didn’t pour out his soul and tears a Mear second ago, he suddenly took charge of the situation and gently guided her to bed. “Shit Eff, don’t you go and scare me like that”.

Her head was spinning again, great.

“It is not the first time I stood after...” she tried to justify but Haymitch seemed to have an answer in his front pocket “the doctor said it was adrenaline that kept you standing. Plutarch also said something about your motherly instinct kicking in, the bottom line is that you still need to rest - so you’d do just that, yeah?”

She forgot how sweet he can be when he wants to, how long has it been since someone treated her with that kind of care?

Haymitch set her back on the bed, and Helena covered her with the plush blanket. "Thank you, darling" she said as she embraced Helena and locked her eyes with Jannaeus who stood behind Haymitch.

And there was that face again - Making her boy looking older than he was.

"Jannaeus, is everything alright my love?" At the question, his eyes started to explore every corner of the room, as he crumpled the ham of his uniform-like outfit.

He took one deep breath, and then another before he finally spoke. "You are going to die, right?"

It shocked her to the core, and she had no idea how to approach that. She looked at Haymitch who seemed almost half as shocked as she was.

Luckly she could always trust her daughter to say the first word "I told you to stop saying that! Mom is not going to die! She is young and healthy, and not old like great-grandmamma Messalina – so she is not going to die!"

"Aunt Prosie died young, and She was younger than mom! Young people can die, like what happened in the hole!"

"The hole? What is that?" Effie asked them, puzzled. Apparently, there was some information gathering required – after all, it has been months since she saw them last.

"You mean district Thirteen, kid?" Haymitch asked with a huff.

"Yes, sir" her boy replied, sniffling.

Haymitch approached Jannaeus and continued the conversation "You are right, kid – young people do die."

Oh, she was going to kill him, it wasn't the proper time to lecture the children about the hunger games.

Haymitch crouched down to their son's level "Your mother is not going to die, buddy. Cause if there is one thing, just one thing I can always be sure of – is that there is no force in this world that could take down your Ma, believe me." He lifted his sleeve up his arm and gestured it to Jannaeus's face; "here, wipe your nose on that." Jannaeus excepted Haymitch's sleeve. On any other day she would not approve of this, but her boy calmed down almost immediately and Haymitch was suddenly transformed into the boy she first met all those years ago.

Is this the kind of father he could be?

"And if anyone try to hurt your Ma again – all three of us are going to protect her, right?" Haymitch Declared and the children cheered on as if he was their favorite man in the world.

And is this the kind of family we could be?

Effie wished with all her heart That one day they will.

July 1st, three days before the reaping ceremony of the 65^th annual Hunger games.

The reaping happens every year on his birthday and the sun still rises on another reaping -just like every year. And like every year he gets his birthday present in the form of two dead walking kids, courtesy of the Capitol.

And every year Effie trinket – his escort of fifteen years arrives at his house, making him presentable like the victor he was supposed to be for the camera - Dressing him and sobering him up all nice for his celebratory nightmare.

Everything is happening like it was happening before, like it would continue until the opportunity to stop it came along.

But what had just happened - did not in fact occur every year.

Him being jolted awake three days early by the familiar voice of Effie trinket, dressed like the last of the coal miners, her face bare and tear stains reflected from her cheeks.

And what a sight she was.

Those times she wasn’t all made up were so rare that even when drunk he remembered each time he witnessed her like that.

How long would he keep on staring at her? 

Much longer than he should have- if he hadn't noticed the blood trickling from her forearm down the palm of her hand.

He did that to her, cut her with his rusty old knife.

But she seemed more worried about lecturing him regarding not picking up his phone and making her think he was dead. His heart skipped a beat for a moment and then started beating again in the strange way it chose to beat, like every time she did something so touching – and of course Effie had to bring them back to reality when she realized they were both covered in his vomit.

That is not embarrassing, not embarrassing whatsoever.

He loathed himself sometimes even more than usual.

"Um... do you mind if I'll go and… refresh? I haven’t had the chance to change in a couple of days, the transportation this early was not in our… usual standards." Effie asked quietly and he found himself quite grateful she did not bring up the word 'vomit' again "yeah, sure" he replied just as his eyes linked with the cut on her forearm "but I think we should sanitize this first." He opened the kit and took out cotton and alcohol and went over the cut to disinfect it, making Effie hiss as he touched her. He murmured an apology which rewarded him with a smile and permission to continue to Bandage the wound.

Effie examined his work and smiled with approval "Thank you Haymitch" she said, looking right through him and suddenly he was aware that Effie was sitting between his legs as his head wondered back to their first time – to his first time – damn it this was so not the time to think about that, especially right after he literally cut her.

Effie suddenly cleared her throat "So… I'll go in and freshen up, is it okay if I go into the shower in this room? I don't want to walk around the house like that."  Haymitch nodded and added "you know where the towels are" which made Effie giggle, since even after fifteen years his house in the victory village did not feel like a home and Effie ended up tidying up this house over the years more than he did.

"Oh, and in case you need anything… just… call me, I'll be in the other room so… feel free to ask." Effie nodded to his words, grabbed her bag and entered the bathroom; Haymitch realized he was staring into nothing when he heard running water behind the closed door.

He went into the room that held the closet Effie usually arranged his clothes in, grabbed some clothes that Effie probably bought him some years before and went into the shower to wash himself. It has been… a week since he showered last? Probably, since he usually showered before he went to restock his moonshine supply. Ripper wouldn’t sell him otherwise, saying that nobody is desperate enough to sell to someone who smelled as rotten as he did.

In this current situation he just didn’t want to look like that in front of Effie any more than he had to, since it usually leads to one of those options – the first option would be that she will just let him be – but since she secretly made it all the way to district twelve three days early with the notion that he is dead, she probably won't let him out of her sight.

The second option will be that she will shout at him and annoy the hell out of him until he showered, if not - she would end up throwing a bucket full of water at him.

The third option – and the one approach he usually couldn't resist, hence the one he hated the most - those blue eyes of hers would give him a pleading look, her voice would get soft like butter and all this combined with her nicely asking him to go shower or get dressed or to eat just one more bite, since he hasn’t eaten since the reaping.

Somehow, he has this thing of not wanting to let her down. He hated that disappointed look on her face and he hated how much his image in her eyes affected him, regardless of how much he drank or how much he tried to forget – Effie Trinket managed to slip through his walls.

And she probably knew how much of an effect she had– but she never took anything from him, not really; it's not like he can give her anything she doesn't already have. But still, she could have forced him to submit to her as she was a representative of The Capitol – but she didn’t.

It was a rare thing in those days.

Effie took her time in the shower and came out to the darkened 'living area' about half an hour after he finished. "The power went out about fifteen minutes ago, it happens all the time, nothing to worry about" he told her, but she didn’t seem to worry "well, we can always trust Plutarch to keep his promises."

"Plutarch?" Haymitch asked.

"Who do you think arranged my arrival in secret? Three days early? And made sure there would be no bugs while I'm here?" Effie gestured her hand circling the room as an indication and continued to explain to him the chain of events. "You were so worried that you actually put all this effort into making sure I'm alive?" he teased her "I have to say I'm quite flattered by the gesture."

Flattered was one way to describe the flock of butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Not just from gratefulness though.

"But what you did – its… impulsive, and… diabolical. What if Snow finds out? You are putting yourself in his line of sight with this kind of act! Showing sympathy for the districts Eff… its fine while on the job with the kids but not to me! Not in public!" the more he talked, the angrier he got. Effie tried to repeat how meticulous her plan was but as she talked, his mind came up with several ways of how her great plan could have failed. "What if the train got stuck? What if one of the crew members on that train would have recognized you Informing you to the Peacekeepers? Or worse? Make you do something to keep them from talking?" he was shouting, and Effie's face took on a worried look, but he did not care – she needed to know that what she did was borderline suicidal and to make sure she would not try this thing again. "And what if someone from here recognized you before burdock came? To us you are the same as snow – someone could have killed you. No, who am I kidding – someone would kill you if they found out…" he was fuming with rage, his breath like an old engine and his vision red as blood. He flinched when he felt two soft hands caressing his face. "Haymitch, look at me" he lifted his head to see it was Effie "I need you to do as I say, nod if you understand" he did, His breathing is strangled and rapid still. "Now, I need you to take a long deep breath – lets do this together" she began, and he followed – taking a deep breath in, holding it for a few seconds and exhaling slowly "and then another." She made him breath in and out until he seemed to calm down a bit – and he did feel a lot calmer but that doesn’t mean that he was less angry with her.

"What you did was still idiotic at best" he grumbles as he grabbed a half empty bottle of moonshine from the table. "Well, what was I supposed to do?" Effie Resented "wait until reaping day?"

"Uh yeah princess, like you are supposed to do."

She gasped, folded her arms, and looked away from him. She took her time before she responded, in a quieter demeanor than usual.

"The thought of you being dead -and dying non the less all alone…" Her leg began to tremble involuntarily "I couldn’t bear that thought…and I knew you wouldn’t want some peacekeepers to manhandle you – dead or alive." She took a deep breath in, and then another that came out as a chackle "someone should be with you…no -I needed to be with you if… this was really it…I couldn’t…the moment I realized that you haven’t picked up the phone for way too long, all I could Invision was you getting rotten on this floor for days on end because nobody came around. I couldn’t bear that thought of losing you like this, I couldn’t imagine losing you at all – you are my…" she stopped her confession as the tears burst out of her eyes and turned in his direction. "Oh, you don’t get to escape this after what you put me through" anger dripping from her voice as she took the moonshine from his hands and gulped twice out of the bottle, coughing after from how strong it was.

"Well, that’s what you get for not thinking before you act" Haymitch teased her angerly, while taking away the bottle from her and putting it on the table.

"If a certain someone didn’t pull his phone from the wall I might just have someone to ask!" Effie retorted.

"You could have asked Plutarch!"

"He wanted to do a welfare check on you! With peacekeepers on Snow's behalf! Don’t tell me you would prefer that?" Effie spat at him, her face seemed… almost offended.

Of course he didn’t.

But there was any other option?

It's not like he has anyone…

Suddenly, Effie's hand covered his "if it makes any difference, I just want You to know that you have me Haymitch… you don’t have to go with the worst choice just because you think it’s the only thing you deserve – you deserve the world and beyond Haymitch. And I just want you to know that you can lean on me if you need to."

How does she do it? touching so lightly and yet so effectively. "Why?" he asked, he couldn’t fathom why she would care so much.

She looked at him with glazed eyes, he could tell that She wonders what answer to give. "Because… I don’t know what I'll do if… if you died. I know your life are a shamble of bad luck and even though it's killing me to know that you wish for your own death since what happened to your family – I do hope that you are aware how loved you are and… that you are… the most important person in my life."

And in the blink of an eye, he leaned closer to her - with one light warm kiss they instantly became one. She returned his kiss hungrily as he kept on kissing her, taking every piece of warmth Effie was willing to give – he suddenly realized how long he was deprived of this kind of pleasure – probably ever since Effie Freed him from his misery as a man for the first time. He kissed people afterwards, usually sponsors who needed a bit of convincing – but none of them compered to her other than Lenore dove, and the memory of her lips was getting harder and harder to reach those days.

So, he kept on kissing her as they both evolved the kiss into something more active - not only because of how consumed with pleasure he was – but it was the need that threaten to blow like an inferno in his heart for something real, something familiar, something he knows for sure that nobody in this world can take away from him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: The Afterglow

August 10^th, The Heavensbee estate's annual 65th Hunger games after party

‘After parties’ at Plutarch's were always headache-infusing - jarring clanking of glasses, Oh's and ha’s representing the facade of polite flattery that echoed from every corner of the enormous estate and the accumulation of those nasty hangovers of his throughout the game season didn't really contribute to his pleasant mood.

At least the booze tended to be excellent - throbbing and burning and strong enough to make him forget something with every gulp, sending him into the nice peaceful nothingness of blackout.

But as of this moment His progress towards that goal was metaphorically falters and got stuck in the somewhat diluted third drink of the evening. And let there be no room for a mistake here - Haymitch was a drunk and he will remain drunk, just as hammered as he was right now.

And yet, even after a month - no matter how much booze he consumes - he couldn’t forget him and Effie having sex for the second time.

'Sex' was not big enough of a word to describe the union between the two of them. In Haymitch's mind, for the first time in fifteen years he had known bliss – and that bliss came in the form of having Effie by his side for three days straight, embracing each other and getting to know each other – even more then before - in every creative position that existed. He almost thought that some of them were invented by them during the time they made love together. Their universe was invaded and broken into by burdock knocking on his door at four a.m reaping day morning, taking the only positive thing about this horrible day away to fulfill her duties in the real world.

Only after about an hour of being alone in his dark and cold house, he began to realize what had happened. Panic rising in him, causing him to drink two bottles before the reaping and he almost didn’t make it there because he was so drunk.

During the rest of the season, he tried the two tricks that always seemed to work - drinking and avoiding, which proved to be failing miserably when one night after the games had begun, he dreamt about her. She wasn’t usually a constant presence in his nightmares as they tend to feature the ghosts that haunted him from beyond the grave.

The nightmare that she starred in shook him to his core.

Effie on his bed, her arms over her head and her beautiful breasts are bare, perky and inviting. He began to touch and caress them, making Effie moan his name beautifully in the process as she pleaded for more - and he was more than willing to provide. He leached to her right breast, teasing the nipple with his tongue, Increasing her moaning. He continued to pleasure her, tasting her, taking in this glorious moment. After a minute of teasing, he lifted his head to look at her, something that he found exciting beyond measure - when he saw the trickle of blood that went down her neck.

Haymitch jolted himself from her in panic as he realized the blood had come out of her mouth and her eyes were wide open - cold and empty.

“Effie?” He called her “Effie? Effie! Wake up!” He grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her to wake her up, but deep down the dread of what happened was already simmering and reaching its boiling point “No! No! No! It’s not happening… Not again, not again! Effie! 

Nothing worked - she was still cold and dead in his arms.

“No! It’s not happening… you can’t leave me Effie!” Haymitch embraced her into his chest, covering himself with her blood in the process while shaking them both back and forth like the lunatic he was.

“First your dove and then your princess - not one thing you love is safe from me” he felt Snows breath in his ear; he panicked and shielded Effie behind his back as Snow turned into a big green snake and began to choke him.

He thought how he has nothing to live for anymore and even though death by suffocation was a painful one - he found comfort in knowing that he got what he deserved in the end - for causing Effie’s ray of sunshine to deem.

Haymitch burst out of the nightmare, his screams echoed all over the penthouse. Through his glazed gaze right out of the corner of his eye he caught Effie standing in the threshold of his room, wearing her light blue night robe and a worried expression on her face. He stared at her a moment, taking her presence in - no blood dripping from her mouth, her chest rose up and down and up again like it was supposed to - only then his breathing began to stabilize. Effie cleared her throat, and he suddenly realized that he had been staring at her chest for too long. He quickly averted his gaze to her face, that seemed a little flushed.

"Are you back?" Effie asked quietly while passing him a glass of water.

"Yap" he replied groggily, gulping the entire glass in one go.

"I don’t want to intrude but…"

"Then don’t." he didn’t want her sympathy right now – he was so close to ask her to stay here with him, but his selfishness was the reason he lost Ma and Sid – he wasn’t stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.

"It's just that… you said my name and…"

Oh, that woman couldn’t help herself, ha?

"Thanks for the water – I'm fine, you can go to bed now" he grumbled.

Effie raised her eyebrow in disbelieve

Haymitch sighed and said softly this time "Honestly Eff, I'm fine now. Go back to sleep, please."

She sighed but nodded before wishing him good night and left him all alone with his sorrow – just like it should be.

He kept his distance from her as much as he could - her doing her thing and he is doing his thing, talking to each other only in context of their tributes who both died during the bloodbath that year. District Twelve's chance of winning was low to begin with, but this year their chance was non existing when Finnick Odair took the stage, basically enchanting the entire Capitol.

Haymitch finished his fourth… no, his fifth drink of the night since it was a double, looked around the room trying to distract himself from being swallowed in daydreaming about how soft Effie's skin was, but of course he was never the lucky one as his eyes tracked her mingling with Plutarch on the other side of the party.

Her dress was some shade of blue and was ridiculous like any other she wore over the years and yet, it complimented her body in all the places that counted – accentuating her long legs and hugging her nicely at her waist and making her sapphire eyes to appear even bluer than they were originally. She looked amazing tonight, but she looked even better covered in sweat and bedsheets – oh the hell with the whole thing making him think like a sappy idiot, when it’s the last thing he should be doing.

He kept reminding himself that he was doing the right thing by keeping distance, even if seeing her paying attention to Plutarch makes him itch all over – so he orders another drink in the hopes that this one will erase the three days of imagined freedom he experienced with Effie.

And since He had his promise to Lenore Dove to keep –he had no right to focus on anything other than that, with breaks of release every now and then but nothing more.

No afterglow for you, Haymitch Abernathy – so, keep on doing the best you can to forget - for himself, for Effie and for the cause.

The presidential mansion, Effie's room

The last time he gave Sid his sleeve to wipe out his nose was on his reaping day.

It took Twenty-five years for another opportunity to pull out this trick again, he wasn’t even sure why this old gesture of comfort came back.

But it was worth it seeing how quickly Effie's boy relaxed and how Effie looked at them both with a look he can only describe as her good tearful look, same one as she wore after Katniss and Peeta won.

"Thank you, sir" said the boy while sniffling and Haymitch thought it was kind of adorable, but he's not going to say that to a boy at this age since he knew how some of them were sensitive about their developing manhood or some shit like that. "You can call me Haymitch, that’s what everybody calls me anyway" he brought his arm forward "My name's Jannaeus - Alexander, nice to meet you" Jannaeus had taken Haymitch's hand and shook it politely.

"I apologize for my behavior earlier mister Haymitch, and I promise to do better next time." Haymitch chackled fondly at the boy's words – could he have expected anything else from Effie Trinket's child? "Don’t worry about it kiddo, you tried to protect your Ma and so did I – we just got it all mixed up." The boy – Jannaeus, he needs to remember that – chuckled too and nodded, and Haymitch felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and turned around to see it was the girl.

"My name is Helena-Salome, nice to meet you mister Haymitch." He smiled at the girl and greeted her with the same manner as he did with her brother "nice to meet you too kid" she beamed as he responded, but then Her face took on a look of embarrassment. "And I'm sorry for hitting you in the…" well for someone as fierce as that girl, she was Luckly still a girl in that regard. "It's okay. Although, I'm not going to lie it really hurt, you got one hell of a kick, kid."

"Haymitch! Don’t use curse words in front of the kids!" Effie chimed into the conversation, causing him to laugh loudly.

"Just saying it how it was, princess." He answered her smugly; in the way he knew it would infuriate her. He was rewarded with a smug smile back.

 Oh, He missed this so much.

Helena and Jannaeus looked at them both and then at each other, puzzled. It seemed like their mind was racing with questions, questions they didn’t know how to articulate. Luckly Effie chimed in to the rescue.

"Haymitch and I are working together, in the games. He is one of my victors." she calmly explained "we have worked together for a long while now." In her words, both kids looked like they had a shocking epiphany. "Wait mom – this is the drunk victor you are working with?" Helena said in disbelieve. "Yes, I am" Haymitch confirmed while grumbling "why?" Haymitch wasn’t offended by Helena's reaction per say, he knew he was the town's drunk, it was attached to who he was by that point even if now he was sober. But he hated to be judged by the Capitol audience even if said audience looked about nine or ten years old.

"No mister Haymitch! It's just that… we know our mothers first victor is…um…"  she paused for a minute, Hesitating. "We know you drink a bunch" Jannaeus bluntly said, completing his sister's words. "And once we saw on TV that he… you… almost puked all over mom's dress that we help her choose so she will be the prettiest – we didn’t like it." their reasoning somehow seemed quite… valid. If someone would disrespect his mom by puking on her – he would get cross with them too.

"But you are looking good now - you are clean, and you don’t look drunk, and mom said she wasn’t angry with you because she knows you didn’t want to puke on her, so it is okay now." Helena confidently chimed back to the conversation.

If he didn’t know better, he could have sworn that Effie's kids are… evaluating him? Like a mother is looking at her daughter's boyfriend for the first time. He felt his cheeks warming up as he spoke shyly "well, thank you… I suppose."

He looked at Effie, who seemed to be almost half as embarrassed as he was. Well, at least she is not angry or sad now – and that to him is a progress.

"And also, you are the third victor we talked to today, and that means third times a charm which means mom owes us ice cream!" the boy said enthusiastically, encouraging laughter among them all.

Effie was clenching her side but lightly laughed along with them.

"Only the third? So, I'm not that special now, am I?" Haymitch asked with mock offence. "Well, technically you are the fourth we met." Said Jannaeus "Johanna came to pick us up and took us to the hovercraft from our compartment in the Hole… I mean district Thirteen." He said while playing with the hem of his shirt. "On the hovercraft we met Beetee, and he played our game with us" Helena added "it’s the first time we play the game with another friend and it was really fun, our other friends call it one of our 'smartass games' and they don’t like playing those because we are always winning, but mom says that they are insecure because they're just not smart enough to play it – so it was fun to finally find someone who wanted to play!" Helena said and the boy nodded in support. "There was another Victor on the hovercraft, I think her name was Annie, but she just set in the corner and didn’t look at any of us" said Jannaeus "she looked sad, but we didn’t know her, and we didn’t want to be rude so…" the boy said nervously.

Annie had all the reasons in the world for being sad, now that she lost the love of her life and the only family she's got, Haymitch thought to himself. When the official announcement about Finnick's death came, Annie's state has become so catatonic she was hospitalized for three days and while she was there – her doctors told her that she is with a child. Somehow that fact sobered her up a bit, but even the happiest of blessings cannot fully banish the sorrow of losing a loved one.

Something he had way too much experience with.

"So, this is why you are the third!" Helena said, pulling him out of the daily melancholy. Haymitch laughed at the child enthusiasm "well, lucky me I guess."

Both kids smiled at him and his chest filled with warmth. "Now go and give some attention to your Ma before she is going to kill me for steeling you guys." Haymitch said fondly and the kids followed - Jannaeus went to sit on the chair next to the bed, taking Effie’s hand in his. Helena walked back to the other side of the bed and curled up in her mother's lap.

Those two kids are so lively, you cannot be around them and not get infected with their beaming spirit, just like their mother only double the amount. To think they were shoved into the dark underground tomb that district Thirteen is, alone without their mother - makes his skin crawl.

And the fact that Effie's kids were in Thirteen the whole time, right under his nose served as one hell of a surprise. “So…How come that you’ve been in thirteen, under Plutarch’s guardianship non the less and I’ve never saw you guys?” Haymitch asked them, now that he felt like he had gained their trust.

“Mister Heavensbee told us not to talk to anyone we don't have to” Helena answered “he said that it was dangerous to tell anyone who we really are - we didn’t even use our family name, we used Jannaeus’s second name as our new family name… by accident. Apparently, no one in district thirteen even have a second name, we had to explain that to the clerk who gave us our belt certificate.” The girl reached for the front pocket of her uniform to show him her ID card and then showed it to Effie.

“But in the process, they put my second name as the family name in both of our cards and it's kind of stuck.” Jannaeus added with a slight chuckle. “But it got tedious to pretend after some time, not because of the name change though" a look of annoyance appeared on his face.

"Why is that my love?" Effie asked quietly, brushing her boy's knuckles with her thumb. "We didn’t like doing laundry" Jannaeus complained "I mean we did it because we had to, but all the other kids went to school! We talked to our friend Rory and some other kids, and we were the only ones who didn’t go to school there." Well, that was odd, why would they be on laundry duty at that age? And being related to Plutarch no less. At least that explains why he haven’t seen then – the command and the laundry lines never integrated, something about Coin doesn’t need to see her soldiers dirty laundry, only to read about it in a detailed and meticulous report while order people how to solve it.

"Why didn’t you talk to Heavensbee about it?" Haymitch asked, appalled. "We tried" said Jannaeus "but we weren’t allowed in the command even when we said we are under mister Heavensbee's care and when he would come to visit us, he said there was nothing he could do, so it all stayed the same!" the boys frustration with the situation was obvious.

"Not even to mention how gross the whole thing was!" Helena added While she twisted her face in disgust. "Like this one time – Ugh, it was the most disgusting thing I ever saw in my life!" the girl rubbed her palm on her chest, acting all nauseas. "We got a cart full of bedsheets, and we had to Sort them by type of bedding, so we got into it. I lifted one of the Mattress covers and it was stained with this weird…jelly stuff." Instantly, Haymitch and Effie stared at each other with utter shock, because there is no way they let young kids like that deal with that kind of dirty laundry. "And then our supervisor miss Cora passed behind us and said "oh, that's probably from Tom and Carrie's room, they just registered as a couple last night. So, from the state of those sheets, it seems like they celebrated the whole night long." Effie's eyes were the biggest Haymitch has ever seen them as she grabbed her blanket so hard her knuckles almost turned white.

Plutarch was lucky he was not here because if he was, Haymitch was sure 'mister Heavensbee' would find his demise today.

"So, I asked her what she meant, and she told us that all registered couples are encouraged to have kids as soon as possible, so that’s probably what they did." Helena said. "And when I asked what this has to do with that stain, Cora said that this comes out of the man's… thing when they're ready to have kids. She wanted to elaborate but we covered our ears and said we already know how it happens and to leave us alone." Added Jannaeus. At that point Haymitch was speechless and Effie looked almost feral with rage.

"Well, even if I'm not happy about the situation those savages forced you to go through" Effie said, her voice drips with hidden anger "I am very proud of how you handled that situation, truly. How lucky am I to be a mother of two clever and Wise children like yourself!" Effie opened her left arm; she reached her left arm to her son to hug him; he accepted the gesture and jumped right into her embrace. Effie squeezed them both as tightly as she could with her injuries.

"So… other then what this…hag at the laundry room told you, there is something else you might have heard about this subject? Something you might have questions about? You are a bit young to learn about adult relations but if it's appropriate I'll try and answer."

Effie went straight to the lion's pit, Haymitch thought. Like he can expect anything else from her other than to get straight to the point - even if the point is awkward as hell.

"We didn’t lie to Cora, we already know how it's done." Jannaeus said casually "we found a book in mister Heavensbee's library two months before the games about Mammals and There was a chapter on… I think the word was 'reproduction'. The boy's articulate and serious way of explaining this absurd of a situation made Haymitch chuckle a bit and Effie gave him her 'shut up or I'll kill you' look. "And since humans are mammals too, we figured that it works kind of the same." Helena said, and with that the last nail on the coffin was hammered and Haymitch began laughing so hard his stomach hurt and even Effie, who by that point covered her face with her hands from shame – began to chuckle a bit.

The kids seemed to not understand what was so funny about their conclusions from the very accurte 'scientific tex' they read, but all Haymitch could think about was the fact that it was the first time in who knows how long that his laugh was genuine, and his tears were once of joy.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: The Aftermath

August 10^th, The Heavensbee estate's annual 65th Hunger games after party

“Well, I’m just glad everything went according to plan!” Plutarch said, sipping on his wine. “Luck was on our side with the power shortage - three days before the reaping. As you know it is basically unheard of - even in district Twelve” He gleefully - and knowingly – added.

Well, if luck was now Plutarch's new name, then yes - luck was very much on her side, as he was the one to orchestrate it. Also, considering everything Effie and Haymitch - who wandered off to the other side of the estate drunk as usual - did during said power shortage.

She couldn’t get it out of her mind, Or her body.

For a moment she dared to indulge in the memories – because ever since they first met and even more after their recent nights of passion and shared comfort - Effie will never be able to extract Haymitch Abernathy from the deepest labyrinths of her heart.

She always considered herself pragmatic in matters of the heart, one must when coming from the Trinket family. Every date is an exchange, every touch is strategic and intentional, and every marriage and childbearing are greater than the individuals involved.

It was embarrassing to admit she felt so high when she had sex with Haymitch, as if her mind pulled tricks on her. She kept on dreaming about His eyes, his stormy, determined and simultaneously kind gaze - shimmering in the incandescent light of the fireplace, sparkling like the sun hitting the water of a fountain on a warm summer day.

She felt as if she was floating on the softest cloud imagined.

Or maybe it was the enormously strong white liquor that Haymitch and her drank, still lingering in her system – that thing was so strong apparently, it made her feel like she was drunk all throughout the month.

Effie didn’t know if she wished for the former or the latter.

After each session, in those ten minutes of in between, where both felt satisfied and the screen of mist up high had begun to settle down and cleared just a bit, Haymitch would wrap his arms around her - bringing her closer to face him. The look on his face morphed into something Effie could only refer to as content. He seemed… almost blissful and all of this was new to her- that look on his face, since this look was never pulled off in her presence. Just moments before she leaned against his chest and was about to fall asleep, one thought came to Effie's mind - that this is how he used to look at her- a thought that her exhaustion failed to banish from her head throughout this sacred time they shared.

She never said that to him, though. She didn’t want to ruin this for him by bringing his dead girl into it, not when his moments of enjoyment are so rare.

She didn’t want to ruin that for herself either, Effie knew that when Lenore Dove's ghost was in the room, she Reigned that room -with her green eyes and clever words and her never-ending passion and compassion.

After a certain number of drinks Haymitch's behavior usually went from grumpy to clingy and with those came the hallucinations about his girl – which were the cause and effect of a different type of late nights.

She was aware of his girl because Haymitch asked her to bring his token to her if he ended up dead in the arena. But the moments when she truly got to know Lenore Dove were during Haymitch's nightly catchup with his girl. At the small hours of the night where Effie sat there next to Haymitch's bed, Lenore Dove was whispering sweet nothings into his ear right through her, using Effie like a vessel while simultaneously stroking his hair so he would fall asleep.

But she found What they were doing during those three days was not the same situation whatsoever – because for the first time they found real comfort in each other, with no nightmares or ghost separating them. Effie felt as if he finally saw her as she was and that thought made her blissfully happy.

She hoped that Haymitch felt just as loved and cherished as she did - like he deserved to.

But she knew his heart belonged to Lenore dove, she had no intention of replacing her. As much as the notion breaks her heart - there is nothing she can do but respect the one Haymitch love and help him to live through her death.

She can be by his side fighting and winning all the nightmares and the ghosts, but She doesn't want to fight for that place in his heart - not when she knows she’ll lose. Not to mention what would happen if they ever got caught naked in either of their beds.

She dreaded even thinking what he would do.

So, Effie tried to focus on what she knew - how wonderful and beautiful she felt, how she would cherish that moment forever and how both she and Haymitch knew - that this was a one-time event, never to be repeated.

At the early morning of the 65th reaping, they had played their part like every year, as if nothing happened - Haymitch was drunk as a skunk and barely spoke to her the whole season and the poor tributes she picked from the ball were fourteen and thirteen and given their bony figure, they were both underfed - ironically not the material that a hunger game victor is made of.

Not that it was a surprise that they unfortunately were not going to make it.

Cutting her line of thoughts was the sound of cheers- that accompanied the guest of honor when he entered the room - the one and only Finnick Odair, the male tribute from district Four who just won at the ripe age of fourteen - the youngest that has ever been. With his strength, charismatic nature and most importantly his dashing looks - The Capitol could not help but swoon all over the young man. And after his performance in the games, there was no going back - and this love and adoration for him has turned into an obsession.

 Effie, on the other hand, found that the whole ordeal that surrounded him was making her quite... nauseous.

At least Mags was allowed to escort him – he would need that tonight.

Despite his muscular body and his self-confidence that even man older than him lack - he was still a child, who never had delt with the chaos that parties in the capitol could turn into, he needed guidance.

Haymitch was technically a child too when you and Him first met the thought slither into her mind. And you do still have responsibility for him - but you had to reciprocate his kiss, didn’t you?

Even with Her great aunt's warning from the time she was Finnick's age about what romantic connections with a big age gap or with a certain type of people as partners usually lead to - when Effie began to date, she tended to fancy her man older, much older than her. It took her some years to see the wisdom in her great aunt's words, but she learned her lesson. So even if she could appreciate Haymitch's looks, the thought of him and her in that manner when he was an adolescent and she was an actual adult – would not cross her mind – ever.

She couldn’t fathom being on the other side and hurt someone in that manner, The mere thought made her stomach turn and twist on itself.

There weren’t many years between them - She was three months from her 20th birthday when she first met him - and she was in a relationship at the time - well if you can call being Seneca Crane's ‘beard’ a relationship, but still. Her sense of Loyalty was something she took pride in - she would never go with anyone else while she was with Seneca.

Besides, when it comes to sex you could trust no one.

But for three blissful nights she trusted Haymitch Abernathy.

What she and Haymitch did was wrong on so many levels, not to mention dangerous - but at least they were both in their 30s and willing.

She couldn't indulge with thinking about that anymore tonight, not while she was at work – the games were still on. "Would you do me the honor and walk with me to greet our new victor?” Plutarch said suddenly, gesturing his arm in Mags's and Finnick's direction. She almost forgot he was there; her breath hitched slightly in surprise and Effie fell back to reality. “It would be a pleasure” Effie replied, and they walked towards the victor and his mentor.

Plutarch caught Mags’s glance who stood on Finnick's side with a slight nod, and sign to the four of them to walk towards the direction of what Effie knew to be Plutarch's library.

Plutarch approached Finnick immediately, in full majesty and authority, and shook his hand. He then put an arm on the teens' shoulder and walked him to the Heavensbee family's famous Eclectic Garden, that its entrance was from the other side of the library.

Mags watched Finnick as he was leaving the room and when he was out of sight, she finally approached Effie. “Miss trinket, nice to see you again.” Mags said politely and shook her hand. “I wanted to discuss something with you; do you mind if we step aside for a short moment?” Effie was fond of Mags since they first met when she was in the position of Haymitch's mentor and over the years Effie knew her to be kind and nurturing woman who was basically the victor's maternal figure.

“Of course!” She replied and gestured Mags to lead the way.

They chose to sit in one of the many reading nooks, above which was a portrait of one of Plutarch's many ancestors. From her great-aunt Messalina's stories, Effie knew that before the war her great aunt knew the names of her family members, going back ten generations, thanks to portraits like those that decorated the walls of their family's estate.

After the war there was no trace of them and old age was taking its toll - at ninety great Aunt Messalina was independent with everything related to her daily routine, but she no longer remembered things as well as she used to.

Again, this is not the right mindset for this occasion Euphemia she said to herself. And while in a polite conversation? Are those the kind of things that happen to one's Etiquette standards After nights of sensual intoxication? Oh, just get over yourself.

She tried to distract herself by ordering coffee for them both, sensing that the conversation would take on a serious tone. Mags took a light sip and held the ceramic mug in her lap and lightly touched the edge of it. The older woman's whole demeanor was stiff; her gaze focused on a void to her left. Effie just sat there, drank her coffee and gave Mags the time to contemplate. Even though she had good relations with victors from other districts, they have their own escorts to 'handle their bidding' – so Mags's request for a private chat in one of the only places in the Capitol where it can remain private -Raised suspicions in her mind. So, Effie waited for her to initiate.

Besides it was the polite thing to do.

Mags exhaled and began talking while replacing her mug on the saucer "I think it would be best if I stayed away from treading water, if you don't mind."

Effie took a sip of her own coffee -that unlike the Heavensbee's usual standards tasted like burned bread – while replying "of course, miss Flanigan. I do believe it would be for the best! So, what can I help you with?"

The older woman straightened her gaze to her and clasped her hands together. "As you probably know by now, Finnick has become extremely popular among the citizens of the Capitol; so much so that it took us more than fifteen minutes to get out of the car tonight."

Mags's face took on a tormented expression and turned pale before she continued "And with popularity - comes demand."

Effie was in the middle of a sip and choked slightly upon hearing the words, surely Mags wasn't referring to…

“But… Finnick is fourteen, right? He is not old enough to…” Finnick had a strong and tall body and although he was handsome, his face clearly belonged to a boy - His cheeks and jawline were still round despite the lack of food in the arena and his sea green eyes were still innocently big, even if they were now tainted by the games.

She knew that some of the Capitol elite had bizarre fetishes under their belts - literally - but to think that those types of people, actual adults would even want to touch a child like that?

Her heart rate increased, the air felt thin despite the proximity to the greenery in the garden and the nausea she felt all day just doubled in its intensity, making her coffee look even less appealing now.

Mags sighed with sorrow and sadly replied “Winning the games has its… advantages; the moment a tribute is crowned as victor, the Capitol is considering them an adult - in any and all aspects that counts.”

Effie knew about the prostitution of victors; Plutarch warned her about this when he recruited her for the job.

In her case, when her victor's time came, Haymitch and herself managed to stop the requests from coming. First by keeping him pickled and drunk like a skunk, so much so he Skipped over the clingy stage and move straight to his bizarre and unexpected stage of drunkenness. She was certain Nobody would want to sleep with that – and as always, she was right. But with that, there were some of those who held influence in the Capitol, who liked their 'affair partners' to be incapacitated, and if being 'pure' was added to the mix – It's a jackpot and then some.

Effie was relieved that Haymitch was the one who suggested that they used the narrow window of time he had to lose his virginity.

"So… he is about to… start offering Finnick now?" Effie asked in a choked voice "have you told him yet? He needs to know, he deserves time to prepare for it, at least for the…" she seemed too lost for words to continue, her head pounding. She pinched the bridge of her nose, took one deep breath, and then another before resuming. "I'm sorry for the bluntness, but how much does Finnick know about…this kind of activity?" she didn’t dare to refer to it as sex or any other word that could indicate that this situation was right.

But the words that do describe this correctly - rape and selling and prostitution, were dangerous to utter - even in the certain safety that the library provides.

"He knows as much as an untouched fourteen-year-old knows" Mags said "which brings me to my request." Effie tilted her ears and listened intently. "There were talks among the victors about how Haymitch got away with it, personally I thought it was from the lack of leverage Snow had on him after what he did to his family but apparently the reason for it was something a bit different."

Oh shit, so the fact that she helped Haymitch to avoid the bidding by taking his virginity was common knowledge now? Great, just magnificently great, so much so she felt the tears coming up her throat.

Don’t you dare to cry, Effie.

Again, It's not the time nor the place.

"Do people know about this?" Effie asked Mags; a bit of anger tainted her voice, her leg fidgeted. "From what I'm aware of, this information hasn’t left the victors circle; but do consider that Plutarch might be in the known."

Well, Plutarch is not Snow, and that's almost half of a comfort in this embarrassing and potentially dangerous situation, the only thing She could do is hope it didn’t reach other unwelcome parties; But the underline of what Mags was trying to tell her suddenly seeped into her mind. "I'm sorry, but do you actually expect me to… grant Finnick the same favor!? I am thirty-four… this is highly… this is absur.."

In her darkest thoughts, she never thought Haymitch would ask her to be the one to help him lose his virginity. If the circumstances were different - she would never imagine herself ever agreeing to such a request.

but she agreed, because he was an adult and desperate and because it was Haymitch and she wanted to help.

But she never imagined receiving that request regarding this subject a second time, from the proxy of a fourteen-year-old, no less. So, the Trinket reputation had spread to the districts too? Or is this just about how words spread among the victors? Chaff probably extracted the information from Haymitch about How he managed to escape being sold somehow and it spread to them all.

Mags cut her out before she could finish "No, absolutely not! I do understand that what you and Haymitch did was a product of its time and circumstance, but since you have the experience… I was wandering if you could… offer some guidance, someone who knows the nitty greedy of it all."

Effie surely could do that, she thought. "But what about your own escort?" She didn’t know why she asked that, perhaps out of nervousness; she knew how stupid that question was the moment she uttered it, since she met their escort before.

"Medusa Crane is unable and wouldn't, even if she wanted, to offer sympathy to a sardine, let alone to Finnick. The way she looks at him since she picked him in the reaping Is making me seasick, so I've been trying to minimize the times he must spend around her, and even then, I'm sticking to his side like a barnacle. So even with all her prestige and knowledge, she would never be the address for any kind of help."

Mags sighed in frustration "Don't get me the wrong way miss Trinket, I'm not trying to throw my responsibilities on you, I am capable of telling him myself. but the boy is my family, even from before the games. He sees me as this all-mighty maternal figure; I dread the moment I will have to tell him the unavoidable nightmare he is about to go through and answering the questions he will surely have… knowing there is nothing I could do to stop it." The tears were audibly stuck in the woman's throat, threatening to burst out. "All I need from you is a Contrary to my sentimentality – the whole prosses has to go smoothly, I'm sure you understand the urgency." Effie indeed understood, she nodded once to signal.

"Since he is my responsibility, I'll have to tell him the horrible truth. I just need you to explain to him how it is going to work; I hope you will at least consider this, Plutarch said you are trustworthy and honestly I don’t have anyone else to ask."

The look on Mags's face was the same desperate look Haymitch had all those years ago. Her hesitation disappeared and she knew she would do as Mags asked. Effie knew that there was nothing she could do to stop it, so she might as well offer some sympathy if she could.

That did not mean she wasn’t still nauseous by this whole thing.

Or maybe she ate something that her stomach doesn’t agree with, since she felt funny all morning. Luckly, she brought Anti-nausea pills with her tonight, she couldn’t afford to be sick during game season.

"I'll do it Mags, just give me a time and a place" she covered Mags's hand with her own and smiled shyly, Mags sighed in relief and offered her a small smile back.

"If you'll excuse me for just a moment, I want to go and get some water from the bar" Effie rose from her seat, her head spinning around like a carousel. Determined to reach her desired destination, Effie held her chair and began to breathe rapidly.

"Are you alright miss Trinket?" Mags asked, her voice echoed in the room as if she stood yards away from her "I'm fine miss Flanigan, nothing to worry about!" Effie's vision became even more blurred, her head pounding like a drum.

In the blink of an eye, Effie found herself on the floor while everything turned black.

The presidential mansion, Effie's room

Effie was never an acquaintance with silence.

During her captivity, it was a choice between silence or agonizing screams - so she got used to it by finding comfort in the sounds of dribbled water, of one metal against another and the sound of her own breathing, that became heavier as the days went by.

Silence between her and Haymitch was different – it started as an inconvenience, as they both knew someone was always watching; over the years they had developed a form of understanding and communicating without uttering one word – quick glances and accidental, almost Involuntary Hidden touching.

Even while somewhat sober, Effie saw right through him – through his grief and his guilt, through his anger and frustration at the world and at the Capitol. She helped him through that, even if he kept claiming that 'he doesn’t have any leverage on me anymore, so don’t break your head over how the Capitol views me.'

And Haymitch? He always managed to read her like an open book. Even in drunkenness he was always aware of her – probably because Effie was just there, probably because he was afraid of being truly all alone.

She could understand where he came from - loyalty to the strange alliance they forged together, it didn’t make her any less grateful for his presence in her life though. The fact that he was always by her side, showing it with casual, momentary touches while his gray looking into her blue, reassured her that he was there and if not, she knew he was always on the other side of the room, watching like a hawk.

With silence they became each other's confidence.

Now, when it was just the two of them alone in the room after everything that went on, she couldn't stand the awkward silence that fell between them.

After three hours in which the children unpacked what they went through in the past few months in District Thirteen and the excitement and adrenaline subsided, they finally managed to fall asleep.

Only for them to wake up and starting to fight about something they read in some book; their arguments were never ended with just bickering – they were conducted in a way that was far too mature for their age, like two little lawyers That slammed a court gavel on her head.

They did the thing that many tried but failed- they were driving her crazy.

At that moment she was even more grateful for Haymitch, with his inner sweetness that he will deny he had – allowed them to go outside of the room and explore, intriguing them with the potential of a hidden library somewhere in the mansion while reassuring them that he will not leave her side until they returned.

So, there were the two of them alone for the first time since the quarter quell and she was utterly speechless.

And it wasn’t like she had nothing to say to him.

She played with her blanket with the hand that wasn't attached to the needle that was pumping Saline into her, while trying to ignore said needle, gathering the courage to talk. They've known each other for twenty-five years; it shouldn’t be that hard!

"Effie I…" Haymitch's voice met her ears suddenly and she rose her head to look at him. His own head gazed straight and his look contemplating, one of his hands found his nape and the other went and covered her free hand. The touch of his palm on hers was warm and reassuring and somehow, she knew he wasn’t fully aware of where he was placing that hand.

Effie liked his hands on hers, not just as a gesture of kindness but it was a gesture that came from him almost as an instinct – making her heart flattered.

So, she reminded herself not to bring any attention to this, so Haymitch won't get cold feet that will make him retreat and take the warmth along with him.

"I don't know how to even begin to explain how sorry I am." Haymitch said grimly, His face wore an expression full of regret.

"You just did" she said groggily, managing to give him a tiny reassuring smile along with it.

His own laugh didn’t reach his eyes "I am so sorry Effie… I mean it. you deserved to know what was about to happen, I shouldn't have been so stupid and thinking it would be safer for you in the Capitol." His breaths are choked and ragged and his hand moved down from his nape to rub his face "I should have taken you with me."

It was Effie's turn to choke on a breath.

"When we arrived in thirteen, I was thrown straight to rehab, no alcohol allowed there" Haymitch fidgety explained "the pain from detoxing was so bad I wanted to skin myself, I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about is how I've managed to make the same mistake twice." He sighs heavily like every breath he took pained him "I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I promised that I won't hurt you and I failed, but if there is one thing I know I can deliver is my full honesty; I'll tell you everything, everything that you should have known from the get-go. Or… if there is anything else I can do, just name it. please I… I hope you will give me the curtesy of making it up to you."

His grip on her palm became tighter, showing her how nervous he was about all of this. He really means it she thought to herself but is he truly capable of it?

His kindness always spoke volumes to her; there was no doubt about the kind of person he was.

But he also has his own demons and promises, That Effie needed to confront with him about. She needed to know he learned from those mistakes, that they could trust each other without the games to bond them together. She needed to know she could rely on him, not for herself but for their children. Could he be what they needed? Would he even want to be what they needed from a father?

At least she can take comfort in the fact that she knew that Haymitch had taken a liking to them.

When the three of them talked, He had this glint in his eyes when he seemed to be impressed by something, combining with an amused smile and those random and endearing gestures he did to try and ease the children’s mind.

And they took a liking of him, but that’s not a hard thing to do.

The only kind of people they didn’t like were the once they considered to be stupid or bad, and Haymitch was none of those.

"Effie? Are you okay?" Haymitch carefully said, pulling her out from her head.

"Oh, sorry Haymitch I was just… consumed in my own thoughts."

"Look Eff… if I'm overstepping and it's too soon for you or it's not something that you want…" Haymitch mumbled, and he was about to retrieve the hand that covered hers when she lifted that same hand to covers his and returning it to her lap. "I've never said that" she said quickly and firmly.

His eyes looked at her in disbelieve and a glint of hope began to dance in them as he waited for her to continue.

"First of all, I need you to know that I'm not mad at you… anymore." Effie tried to say it as casually as she could.

"There were times in prison that I was furious, asking myself why you left me behind; especially after the rescuing Peeta, Johanna and Annie." the heart monitor that was attached to her showed how stressed she was, she tried to control her breathing rate, to breathe slowly and deeply – one time and then another until she calmed herself. "I couldn’t bear the thought I was forgotten."

Haymitch, for his credit, didn’t avert his gaze; but he took his time before speaking.

"I never forgotten you, how could I ever… forget about you?" he said calmly. "When district thirteen arranged the rescue mission, I made sure your name was on the list; But… they didn't find you." The lines on his face deepened and he suddenly looked as if he was old beyond his years. "Plutarch wasn’t able to get any information from his useless agents in the Capitol and you weren't on any of the broadcasts; we didn’t know what happened to you." Haymitch's speech turned grim when he continued.

"There was this one time… when Snow released a broadcast where they interviewed Peeta; His condition appeared to be shocking, his cheeks sunken, his skin pale, and a glazed look of fear in his eyes." Effie remembered that day, they forced her to prepare Peeta for that 'interview' after they executed Portia and his prep team. She was backstage, peacekeepers surrounded her from every direction, and she focused only on the boy.

"Katniss, you will be gone by morning" were the last words she heard him say before they dragged her back to her cell where she was flogged until she passed out.

She hadn’t seen Peeta since.

"I was dreaded to think that you were in the Capitol in that state, or maybe worse. I wished that you were dead, that you didn’t suffer anymore; but at the same time, I hoped that you weren't, I couldn’t imagine you as a has-been, I just couldn’t. So, the first thing I did when I got here after making sure Katniss was alright was to look for you."

Effie was so caught up in his words that she forgot to breathe, noticing only after her body begged for some air.

"Look Eff, I'm not trying to excuse my stupid line of thoughts that made me think that you will be somehow safer if I kept my distance. but I want you to know I've never forgotten about you, not for one moment, not even when I was in withdraw."

His confession surprised her.  

He didn’t usually deal well with those situations; but as of now, it seems as if he was trying to not only except his responsibility and not letting it break him down completely, but he also wanted to take responsibility.

Suddenly his face took an alarmed look, and he moved his hand from hers, but before she could protest, Haymitch's thumb touched her face and whipped a stray tear from her cheek.

"Haymitch I… I don’t know what to say" Effie said as the tears kept on forcing themselves out, while Haymitch kept on whipping them. "You don’t have to say a thing, I understand." Haymitch said in a sad but understanding tone.

It's not that Effie thought I thought you hated me, I thought that those twenty-five years meant nothing to you. She knew he would never love her like he loved Lenore dove, but she hoped that this weird bond they had counted for something. The guards tried to plant in her mind that Haymitch was just using her, using her own doubts and family history to break her trust in him.

Haymitch's words brought her a sense of relief for this burden she carried, and it overwhelmed her.

"Thank you, Haymitch. I…I needed to hear that." She finally managed to say through her crying and Haymitch seemed relieved "the whole truth and nothing but the truth for you, princess." It made her giggle and cry at the same time, and she whipped her eyes from her tears before moving on to her next question.

"So…How long has this…rebellion… been in the works?" it couldn’t be that long, less then a year maybe, otherwise she would surely notice Haymitch was up to something. "we started planning right after the quell announcement, Plutarch figured we have the momentum now – we had Katniss who triggered the rebellion among the districts, we had the quell to bring the capitol's darlings – us the victors together – and we have more influence than the average tribute and we got our hands on one tool we didn’t have all those years – district thirteen's army." Haymitch explained to her Seriously.

"More than half of the tributes weren't in on it, same as Katniss and Peeta - we couldn’t risk it. In high sight, I should have let you in on everything; we could really use you down there" Haymitch said.

"You could have just said you missed me Haymitch, No need for flattery." Effie joked.

It made Haymitch chuckle a bit "are you a comedian now, princess? Now we have to add it to the filed toolbox of your skillsets." His tone turned serious again. "But I mean it though. You could have been a tremendous help, and I was too selfish and stuck up in my own ass to see it. and now that…" He stopped his speech and spoke again carefully as if he had calculated and planned every word. "That you are a mother… wars can be… difficult when… kids are separated from their parents."

Oh, Haymitch.

"You couldn’t have known, it's not like I advertised them on the outskirts of town. Not many people knew I was pregnant and even less people knew that they were mine, most assumed they were Prosie's, and that since her death I took them in." Effie explained softly "But I had this agreement with Plutarch, I raised them and took care of them, and he was responsible for two things – their safety and education. All those years, this rebellion was the only time the safety part of our agreement had to be Enforced."

Haymitch face looked as though he was still processing the new information, and she waited patiently for what he'd say.

"Well… Plutarch always delt with those kinds of emergencies better than I did, at least they were safe, that’s the most important thing." Haymitch said finally, but his eyes weren't on her anymore; He pulled his hand from her and wiped it on his lap slowly.

Tell him a voice whispered in her mind he needs to know, now's the time!

She looked at Haymitch, making him fidget in discomfort as if he knew how hard she was contemplating. Is it the right time to tell him?

He has already proven how much he cares about them, and he doesn’t even know they are his yet. Give him a shot! He is worth it!

At that moment she made up her mind.

"Haymitch, there is something I need to tel…" her words were cut out from the grand entrance of Jannaeus and Helena holding a stack of books each. "We found the library!" Jannaeus said "And Beetee said we could take anything we wanted, so we got something for everyone!" Helena added in excitement.

Haymitch got up from the chair and took half of the burden off their hands and laid it on Effie's bed. Helena grabbed about two thirds of the pile and moved it to one side, "those are ours" she declared.

Her kids weren't spoiled, but they liked their stuff, and they were very stingy with their books. She didn't know where that part of their personality came from, not from her she was sure of it. Well, maybe only their liking of stuff.

"Those are for you mom!" Jannaeus presented her with a stack of romance books, some of them were the kind that was way too mature for their age even with their newfound knowledge of how technically the whole birds and bees story works and not the kind that was expected to find in Snow's library of all places. "Annie helped us choose from the higher shelves and some we recognized from what we have at home." She offers her gratitude by planting a kiss on each of their cheeks, as she averted her gaze to Haymitch that had begun to look at her pile of books, making her cheeks scarlet red.

Before Haymitch could realize what the content of those books were and came up with some sort of joke, Jannaeus held up an open book in his direction "we got something for you too mister Haymitch!" Effie's heart skipped a beat at the children's gesture.

"Ah…for me, kids?" both nodded as Haymitch took the book from Jannaeus's hands. "Thanks, kids." Haymitch said shyly as he flipped through the book and stopped on one page and examined it, tracing his hand on it like it was some precious delicate thing. He hitched a breath and kept on staring at the book as if he saw a ghost, "Haymitch? Are you alright?" Effie asked and when he looked at her, she knew that he was about to flee from the room. He quickly closed the book, put it on the bed and murmured "I got to go I'll… come back later" before he got up and left the room.

"We did something wrong?" Helena asked and added "we thought mister Haymitch will like it, Beetee said Mister Haymitch liked poetry." Poetry? "You didn’t do anything wrong, Haymitch sometimes can be a bit… all over the place. He is not angry with you, do not worry!" Effie tried to explain as she picked up the book that her children brought for Haymitch "Besides, as you know he is involved with the rebellion, so he is probably very busy!" they seemed satisfied with her explanation. The two of them picked up a book each and sat on the floor next to her bed and began reading.

When Effie saw that They went deep enough into their books, she looked at the one she brought to her lap.

Hard cover, black leather, a bit old; the title " The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe" was written on the cover with white and red letters and there was an illustration of a raven standing in a storm, holding a piece of fabric with 'nevermore' written on it.

When she flipped the book, she realized why Haymitch bolted out.

She found herself staring face to face at the poem of Lenore.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: The Answer and The Speculation

August 10^th, The Heavensbee estate's annual 65th Hunger Games after party, the Heavensbee library.

“She’s starting to wake up! Miss, are you alright?” The words echoed around her. Whoever uttered those words sounded quite worried; they were young for sure, if she could trust her judgment. She thought she could recognize the specific type of trembling indicating on Voice change in adolescence.

What happened? Who’s talking over her?

“Her pulse is stabling” they said while grabbing her wrist. “We should really call a doctor” a woman’s voice this time -she could recognize it was Mags, So the young man must be Finnick Odair.

And at that moment the nausea that had built itself throughout the day desired to make a great entrance - Effie wasn’t able to stop herself as she jolted onto a sitting position and puked all over the library’s carpet. Using the little consciousness she had, she tried to do it as far away from her dress as she could, her wig fell off her head in the process.

She puked one more time before Finnick asked her if she felt like moving to a more comfortable seat. Effie nodded and he held her up by her underarms, set her on one of the velvet couches and offered her the handkerchief from his pocket.

“Thank you” Effie smiled weakly and murmured towards Finnick as she wiped her mouth with his handkerchief. “I do apologize for all this, truly; I do not know what happened to me today, it might be something I ate; I knew there was something wrong with the fish yesterday."

She didn’t eat fish yesterday, why did she make this stupid excuse?

And now Effie remembered she is talking to this year's victor who came from district four, the district that housed Panem's fishing industry.

Why was she so rude? What is wrong with her?

Finnick, who didn’t seem to notice her rude and impulsive side comment Blushed a little as he replied, a small grin Decorated his face. “All good miss, I’m happy to help a fine lady as yourself”. The charm he was known for was real then, and so his chivalry.  He was very likeable, the poor young boy. She laughs lightly and replied, “Well I think I’m a bit too old and too sick at the moment for you, but I will take that as a compliment”.

He held his hand at front "My name's Finnick, I'm sure you already know that though; everybody seemed to know who I am and the things I did, before I know who they are so…" the grin that decorated his face turned grim and sad, as he turned his gaze away from her and rubbed his nape with his other hand.

As if he was just starting to grasp the immensity of his position.

She took the hand he offered and shook it lightly "Effie Trinket, I'm the escort for district Twelve." Suddenly the boy pulled his hand away from the grip, stopping the handshake and his whole body became stiff. He turned his head to his mentor for reassurance. "Its fine boy, she is not like Medusa – may her name be erased – there are some good once in this city, Effie is one of them."  

While Effie was flattered and somewhat emotional in hearing Mags's words, she felt lighter and a bit drowsy still, in a way she never felt before. As a daughter of a medical doctor who lectured her sister and her about the damages of using substances – she did not do drugs and she never felt like this after consuming alcohol, not that she had the tendency to drink that much to begin with.

It wouldn’t be smart for her and Haymitch to share the same poison.

From the corner of her eye, she located Plutarch who sat on another velvety chair to her right, his face took on a serious tone. “Mister Odair, would you be of help and go to the fridge in my office and bring the lemon water vase along with some glasses? It will help with her nausea."

The boy eagerly nodded and almost jumped from his squatting position and went to look for the office. Plutarch stood up and moved to her front, his whole demeanor screamed that he was pissed. “There is…something… Anything… I need to know about, miss Trinket? Anything at all?” The vein running along his forehead looked like it was about to burst, and Effie recalls that this is the first time in their fifteen years of acquaintance that Plutarch Heavensbee looked as dangerous and powerful as his position made him to be.

Effie just blankly stared at him, oblivious to his insinuations.

“Excuse me?” Effie answered.

What was he talking about?

Plutarch was not having it "Effie, don’t make me say it again, don’t make it any more difficult than it has to be."

"Mister Heavensbee, I have no idea what you are implying; I have the faintest idea what is this big secret you think I need to tell you." Effie's anger was beginning to build up – her head was spinning, her mouth tasted foul and rotten, and Plutarch was yelling at her as if she was some spoiled brat. And with all of that, she was trying to Suppress the overwhelming reflex to start crying like one.

Her response made Plutarch even angrier, and his response was even more severe.

“Effie are you being intentionally dense and think I’m unaware of what you and Haymitch did during the power outage I orchestrated? Do you think I'm an idiot!? That I don’t know what the potential result of your trysts could be!?” Never in all the years had she known Plutarch was he ever as Harsh or Crood as he was now, making Effie startled to her core.

What Did he think she...?

'Don’t you think I know what you and Haymitch…did?'

What she and Haymitch did…

For three nights you trusted Haymitch Abernathy…without protection.

Oh, shit.

The words 'I don’t know what you are talking about' came out almost as a reflex. what Plutarch suggested was… preposterous! She never wanted to have children, so it was impossible that… or… it seems like it was now a possibility.

How stupid was She to not have any contraceptive with her?

Well, intercourse was not on her list of things to consider regarding Haymitch, not when her mind was consumed with dread for the possibility of finding his cold dead body on reaping day. 

“I don’t know...” Effie mumbled “I don’t know!” as if a switch was flipped, she covered her face with her hands and began to cry – hard and loud, tears flooded her face, and she probably looked as dreadful and hopeless as she felt. She felt a hand on her shoulder; it was Mags who gave her a comforting look and a small smile as if she understood.

But Effie didn’t understand what this situation was that she found herself in. "I… I can't be… I can't be pregnant…oh, oh no." she resumed to cry hysterically – literally – thinking about how stupid she was.

I can't bring children into this world, I can't! They don’t deserve to live in this constant fear she kept on thinking the endless dangers that this child would have to face just by being associated with her, with the games and with Haymitch…

Haymitch… oh no! now, that was not happening! This cannot be happening. If she was pregnant, Haymitch was the father!  Since she hadn’t slept with anyone other then him; and if Haymitch was the father it means that the child was half from district twelve… and his father was the only living victor of the district.

Just by this association she would be forced to pull their name from the bowl and from there the child's destination was to die a horrible death in the arena.

The child's faith was doomed before she knew if they even existed.

She cried like a grieving mother on her child's final journey, an agony she never imagined she would ever feel in her lifetime.

Apparently Even Plutarch Heavensbee could not resist the tears of a woman, he sighed as if his anger dissolved and offered to arrange a trustworthy doctor to come and take a look. “Miss Flanigan, please Stay here with her.” Plutarch ordered just as Finnick came in with the water.

Before Plutarch could cross the threshold of the library Effie murmured quietly "call my father, please."

Even if her father was an oncologist and not a gynecologist, she knew every doctor performs a delivery during their residency. Besides, he was her primary caregiver who knew her entire medical history since she was an infant and he was the only one she trusted.

There was no way in hell that she would let anyone other than him poke a needle into her.

Plutarch nodded, began to resume his outing, but stopped when Effie asked for one more thing "Don't tell Haymitch, I don’t want to alarm him for nothing."

This wasn’t nothing, it was anything but.

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Plutarch's speculation of her being pregnant had a sense of truth in them. She was certain Haymitch wouldn’t be able to handle it, he'd lose his mind if he'd known.

Mags encouraged her to drink the water Finnick brought, the sour taste indeed made her less nauseous. "Thank you miss Flanigan, again I do apologize for the inconvenience I've…" Mags stopped her before she could apologize further "even if you are not… with child, you are unwell. Don’t worry about it." Mags said in a firm and kind tone, but she paused a moment before asking the million-dollar question "if… this is it… it's Haymitch's, right?"

Effie closed her eyes, sighed heavily and nodded; a stray tear fell from her eyes.

Mags's expression turned grim "How long did you two…"

'How long have you and Haymitch been doing it' was the question that laid on the tip of her tongue, as if she was implying that they had some sort of affair and that implication even if was constructed politely, somehow made Effie furious; so much so that she had to force herself to remain composed so she won't yell at Mags or worse, burst into another crying session.

"This time was the only other one besides the time when…" she stopped and calculated her words when she remembered Finnick was also in the room. Now I really look like the well-verse, all-knowing figure who is supposed to walk him through the nastiness of Capitol elite, Effie thought to herself, and no doubt I look like a mess of tears and potentially - hormones. "…When it first happened. we did not make a habit out of it I can assure you."  Mags seemed to believe her, although it didn’t change the look on her face or made Effie feel any better.

It took her father twenty minutes to arrive, armed with his bag and his warm hug he gave her the moment he dropped his bag on the floor and reached close enough "Father!" he sunken herself into his hug, crying into the crock of her father's shoulder. "I'm here darling, everything will be alright!" you could always trust her father to start with the good, an attitude that he evolved into perfection in his thirty-year long career as an oncologist, as he dealt with the hardest and hopeless of cases.

And Effie had certainly got that from him, but right now she needed the Reinforcement alongside the medical opinion.

"Dr Ernest Trinket" he introduces himself to Mags and Finnick with a polite handshake before picking up his bag from the floor. "Well, I believe we should go straight to work" he set next to her, opened his medical bag and pulled out Equipment designed for routine tests other than the stethoscope on his neck - thermometer, blood pressure monitor, and a small flashlight.

After performing the tests, he gave her a smile which Effie knew meant that she was fine in his professional opinion, but the first rule of medicine was to never jump quickly into conclusion, so she waited for his assessment. "I don’t see any indication of Signs of drug use or of indigestion and your blood pressure is normal. Since we have concerns about a certain…. Parasite, I think this next test is necessary."

For a moment, Effie felt offended for the child who was hypothetically growing in her belly, even though it was clear to her that her father would never speak like that if he knew that Plutarch's house was not bugged.

Effie twisted her face as He pulled a box of a generic pregnancy test from his bag. "You don’t need something more… sophisticated then this? Just to make sure?" she asked her father quietly. "This is the quickest, most reliable way for us to know" her father explained "and I would much prefer not to use needles on you outside of my office, I think we would both prefer it – right, dear?" he said as he handed the test over to her.

She went to the toilet – lucky she didn’t need to go outside of the library – followed the instructions on the box, came back to the group of people that in some weird Happenstance stood with her – and waited.

After three minutes the words 'POSITIVE 4+' appeared on the screen of the test and so it was confirmed.

She was pregnant.

And thus, the crying resumed.

"Effie dear, I need you to be brave for a moment" her father said and looked at Plutarch before continuing "there is a decision to be made of what we do moving forward." Effie took one breath and then another before sitting up straight and excepting the water glass Mags offered. "Option one - you keep this child. of course, In your situation there are other things that comes to play, and you know the consequences better than I do, my dear. The second option – we can preform an abortion, but it must be done this week, before more tissue can be formed inside the uterus, meaning it would be a lot harder for me to Get rid of the evidence of the procedure."

Effie's first instinct was to choose the abortion – she never wanted children, the two she picked from the bowl every year were enough of a responsibility.

But then, Haymitch slithered back into her mind.

She recalled the day she came to pick him up for his victory tour - He looked as if the air had been sucked out of him and replaced with alcohol, his eyes sunken and lacking the will to live. She learned just the day before about the tragic and very coincidental passing of his mother, little brother and his girl in the first two weeks of his return to district Twelve.

He was all alone in the world.

Wrong, she thought to herself, he has me.

And now – he has this child.

There was no way she is going to kill the only family chance of a family he had left, she is not going to put that on her conscience.

Even if she was so, so afraid – for herself, for Haymitch and for this child.

And with that her mind was made up - She will carry this baby, she will raise this baby, and she will keep it safe, she was willing to make this sacrifice for Haymitch.

"I'm keeping it," Effie concluded. Her father seemed somewhat relieved, while Plutarch looked a bit agitated as he spoke "are you sure about this? Do you realize the potential of the danger you are putting yourself into? Who will be there for Haymitch if something happens to you?"  

You could always trust Plutarch to play in the fiddle of your deepest weaknesses.

Her father, who seemed to understand the nuance of Plutarch's words as she and Prosie had told him about Haymitch many times over the years, got up and took a defensive stand and was about to punch Plutarch in the face, but Effie's answer stopped him "I will not be the murderer of the only family he had, Plutarch." She took a deep breath before continuing "I will not deprive him of the chance of having a family, even if he will never have the chance to get to know them."

Telling him at this point was dangerous beyond measure, the whole thing was. But it would be easier if the information about this child's father never left this room. "Plutarch, I hope I can count on you in regards of keeping this whole thing under cover. I've got some ideas; I just need your help in implanting them." the man nodded and added "I've got a few of my own as well, come here tomorrow morning and we will discuss this more thoroughly."  Effie nodded in agreement.

They planned their exit from the library – Mags and Finnick went back first to create a distraction that will allow Effie, Plutarch and her father to have a smoother escape.

As they came back to the party, Haymitch, who reeked of booze, suddenly was there and his eyes franticly absorbed her "where have you been!? I couldn’t find you anywhere! Don’t disappear on me like that, okay Eff?"  His concern was touching and in the state that she was in she feared she could burst into tears again any minute if it wasn’t for her father's intervention. "Sorry that I interrupted her at work, mister Abernathy. I was in the area and thought I would stop by and say hello since I'm barely able to see my dear Effie during game season." He extended his hand for a shake "I'm doctor Ernest Trinket, Effie's Father."

Haymitch's face relaxed a bit, while her father's face took on a more judgmental appearance. Haymitch took the offered arm and replied stoically "nice to meet you, Mister Trinket."

Her father took one more second to absorb Haymitch, before offering his farewells. Before he left, he put his palm on Haymitch's shoulder and whispered in his ears something Effie thought sounded like "Please, make sure she is safe."

The presidential mansion, one of the many balconies.

By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted—nevermore!

Black on white, familiar, just as it was stamped in his mind from all those years ago when he memorized it for Lenore Dove's birthday that was in her words 'her favorite gift ever'.

Lenore Dove was long gone, and all that was left of her was the raven and his never-ending screaming at him to obey the words 'nevermore' again and again and again.

As he opened the book Effie's kids so graciously brought him, he felt that damn raven on his shoulder, digging up in his ear as if reminding him that all that was left of his loved ones was that they were gone, that he will never get to feel their warmth ever again.

He didn’t remember what happened after he read the poem; all he knew was that he found himself on a high balcony overlooking the presidential gardens and the cold winter air brought him back to his senses. I'll have to apologize later, he thought to himself, my abrupted exit must have alarmed Effie and the kids.

In this room, in those hours he spends with the little family, he felt as if he was in another reality; as if as though he was a completely different person – a person who is capable of laughter, a person you can rely on.

A person to whom the feeling of belonging is not at all an alien.

This is what having a family feels like and he couldn’t be happier that Effie got to reunite with her children, even if he didn’t know about their existence a day ago. After twenty-five years of Effie being the only constant in his life, he thought he knew everything there was to know about her.

But apparently, he didn't.

Haymitch tried to suppress the distress that had arisen within him at that huge secret Effie hid from him, she didn’t owe him any glimpse into her world even with how much Effie knows and that she is a huge part of his own miserable life. He wanted to make amends with her, so he felt like it was not the time or place for wallowing about the fact that she chose not to tell him; and if she chose not to, he was sure there was a good reason behind it.

You hid the revolution from Effie for reasons you thought made sense, doesn’t mean you are right. The thought crept into his mind, and he shoved it to the back just as quickly as it appeared.

He should be grateful Effie is still speaking to him, still somehow letting him in, letting him near her kids – surely, she wouldn’t let him near them if she hated him in some way. It’s a good thing, it's better than Haymitch hoped for. And the kids, after their not so pleasant first encounter – ended up being a delightful surprise. From the moment they understood he didn’t pose a threat and in fact he was their mother's… um… friend? ally maybe? Their mother's whatever - they have seemed to take a liking of him and thought of him when they picked that poetry book for him.

This is something Effie did for him over the years so he could see where they picked this behavior from.

The reading habit itself though… it has Plutarch Heavensbee's influence all over it.  

From the get go is seemed that Heavensbee was in the known in regards to Effie's twins, since he was the one to bring them to district thirteen; using Plutarch to build a safety net around her kids was indeed a good idea, Haymitch knew the things Effie wad capable of when she put her heart into it and he had no doubt she would do what ever it takes to protect her own.

Surprisingly, this wasn’t the whole deal between them.

The agreement Effie and Plutarch had in place seemed a lot more… personal then just using the Heavensbee name as a coverup. What bugged him was the fact That Effie pulled their agreement out of her sleeve so casually, as if it were completely normal for a stranger to have a say about the protection and the education of her children.

Plutarch wasn’t a stranger in that manner but still it's not like he was the kid's father or something.

Right?

And now he remembered what was the feeling that caused him to flee the room earlier- The feeling of lacking.

As if the very assumption that the children belong to Plutarch offends him in some way – he knows it shouldn’t, but somehow… it did. It penetrated him like an arrow to the heart, filling him with an unfamiliar dread.

 And that was without any proof that was even the truth.

So, what's the point in speculation? He can always ask Effie and even if it will end up being the truth – it wouldn’t change anything… he hoped.

He shivered suddenly, a sign that he probably spent way too much time outside in this weather without a coat. He entered back through the balcony door and walked back in the direction of Effie's room when he passed the library. Maybe I could pick up something for the kids as an apology Haymitch thought as he entered the large haul.

The place was huge, with mountains and mountains of books Located on the many shelves that reached up to the ceiling, no wonder the little bookworms came back thrilled and with as many books as they could carry.

Oh, Lenore dove, you would have loved this.

he wandered through the endless bookshelves, all of them on the tip of his fingers. In twelve, if you found a book that wasn’t a drilling manual you could consider yourself a lucky fellow. But here, he had the option to choose – maybe a book about Animals for the kids? No, he chuckled at the thought of what happened with the other book about animals – Effie would kill him. Poisonous plants? Oh no, he would stay out of this one - thank you very much, even if this is something those smart-ass kids will probably read eagerly. Semitic Linguistics in Historical Perspective? he wasn’t sure what half of the words in this title even meant. That made Haymitch frustrated - They were kids, it should be fun for them for as long as it can be.

fun! Right!

he scattered the entire library until he could find something fun – if Helena and Jannaeus were able to find what they were looking for here – so he can too. Finally, he found what he was looking for – books that did not look like they belonged in the classroom - 'Swan Lake' for Helena and 'The Little Prince' for Jannaeus and if he remembered correctly none of the books they got for themselves looked like what he chose, so he was in safe hands.  

Suddenly, another book caught his eye –'Built upon Love: Architectural Longing After Ethics and Aesthetics'. He knew this one was meant for Effie the moment he saw it - He vaguely remembered that she studied architecture before she was appointed as his escort, so maybe she would read it after she finished those her kids got her.

He hoped she would like it; she deserves that.

Not far from the exit he noticed Johanna and Annie sitting in one of the corners, leafing through the books on the table. Well Annie leafed through, Johanna was just staring at a book with the title of ' How to Shit in the Woods', very fitting.

"You couldn't have picked something more enticing to read, right Johanna?" Haymitch's comment was received with a shrug "one of the Heavensbee kids picked this out, thought it was funny with me being from district seven and all. Lucky for her she is all cute and little, and Annie here is all hormonal otherwise I would have kicked her."

Haymitch felt as if a cold current was running through his veins. "Heavensbee's kids?" he asked, as if he didn’t already could predict what the answer would be.

"Yeah, that was my reaction too when I’ve been told to bring the 'Heavensbees kids' safe to the hovercraft, they did as they were told so they weren’t much of a bother." Well, the kids did in fact mention it, that wasn’t new. "They seemed a lot better earlier than what I remember from the hovercraft flight" Annie added "we look at the books together and they kept asking me to reach the higher shelves, wanting to find something for their mother."

Yap, that sounded like them.

Haymitch chuckled to that "they got Effie so many books, it covered her entire bed." At his words, Johanna and Annie turned their look to him in shock. "Effie? As in Effie Trinket?" Johanna chuckled as if it was the most hilarious thing she ever heard.

"So, the rumors were true then" Annie said gently.

"What rumors?" Haymitch asked suspiciously, trying not to let the inexplicable anguish he felt about this whole thing come out. "One of Finnick sponsors paid him with a secret about what is really going on with Effie and Plutarch – the message that he got was about some ongoing affair."

Somehow this made Johanna laugh even harder.

 "I didn’t know he and Trinket did it, or that she would ever let him touch her. So, the lucky basterd knocked her up and managed to keep it a secret for years? And just Letting people assume they had one night stand or some shit? That's sound like something that he would do for sure!"

Annie nodded and rolled her eyes as she said in a sad tone "it was also implied that he was paying Effie Alimony every year just so he doesn’t have to raise the children.”

Haymitch suddenly felt like an idiot – what was he doing here, in a library picking up books for them when their father has all the books they could ever want? They’ve probably read those books already, so what was the point anyway?

Well, you still need to apologize for the way you left earlier, and this was the best thing you could come up with so… you might as well just give it to them.

He walked into Effie's room and found the kids sitting by her bed, whispering something to each other, probably as they tried not to wake their sleeping mother. As soon as they saw him, they rushed to the door to greet him and began to say how sorry they were for picking the wrong book, even if their mother said they didn’t do anything wrong. He assured them none of it was their doing. When he offered them the books, their faces glowed, and they jumped up and down with excitement. Apparently, Plutarch didn't let them read fiction books as they called it during their learning sessions.

Well, it seemed they loved what he chose for them, what a relief.

It was confirmed as both kids launched themselves on him and hugged him while repeating the words 'thank you' like seventeen times.

"What about that book?" Jannaeus asked and pointed to the last book Haymitch brought, placed next to them on the floor "that's for mom, right?" the kid asked.

Haymitch felt a lot less confident delivering that book. "I'll give it to her later, when she wakes up." It will give him enough time to dump it somewhere, so he won't embarrass himself too much. "You can put it next to her bed and write something inside, so she'll know it's from you even if you have to be at work or something. That's what mom does on our birthday when she wants to surprise us." Helena said and before he could response, she pulled an expensive looking pan from her pocket and offered it to him "Write her something, she'll be really happy" the girl said, and the boy nodded in agreement.

Awkwardly he took the pen from Helena, opened the book and simply... wrote down the first thing that came to his mind.

As soon as he finished, Jannaeus taken the book from his hands and put it on the nightstand next to Effie's bed as Helena drugged him by the arms and asked If he wanted to read the book, he got her together.

Even if he was able to, he would not have refused that offer for anything in the world.

----

The presidential mansion, Effie's room, sometimes before

Jannaeus and Helena sat at the foot of their mother's bed and pretended to read whatever book they picked from their pile. "I think mom is asleep" Helena whispered "so what is that thing you wanted to tell me?"

Jannaeus got up to make sure their mother was in fact asleep before whispering back "I think mister Haymitch is our father."

Helena hitched her breath in shock "what makes you think that?"

Jannaeus looked at his sister and removed his glasses, revealing the unique gray color for two seconds before putting them back on "we have the same eyes! And mom told us they don’t go to the doctor to change eye color in the districts, so he was born with this color – like me!"

"Oh, you are right!" Helena answers "I've noticed that too! And he called mom 'Princess'!" Her brother gave her a look that screamed, 'I don’t know what you are talking about' it made her click her tongue in frustration. "it's like in those romance books – the man always gives the woman he loves a nickname!"

As both seemed to agree on the final conclusion, they wanted to make sure that before they would let mom know they know the truth – they needed to get to know mister Haymitch, just enough so he would love to be around them; they always asked about their father, but their mother never told them anything. The only thing she said was that they reminded her of him.

Not much to work with.

But with this newfound evidence – they were closer than ever to have a father and together with mom they will be a family. they heard the door to the room opening, they rushed to the door to greet their father for the first time ever.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: The Hidden

December 2^nd of the 65^th Hunger Games, The Heavensbee estate's dining hall.

Plutarch's monthly dinners with President snow served a great purpose in the overall scheme of things – gaining his trust and covering Plutarch's constant efforts to taking him down. It didn’t make the event any more pleasant or any less stressful.

 Especially not with the not so recent discovery of the pregnancy of Effie Trinket and the surprising and yet so obvious fact that the Father is none other than Haymitch Abernathy – there was a lot of work to be done with Snow in that regard. Neither him nor Effie wanted this fact to come into his knowledge, for different reasons. Of course, everything would have been easier if Effie had agreed to abord the child – but she wouldn’t hear of it.

And even Plutarch couldn’t argue with her reasoning.

So, with this knowledge that this child is coming weather he likes it or not, both him and Effie revised a plan – she will make sure rumors about the 'Trinket and Heavensbee trysts' would be spreading around their social circle, so if somehow Effie's disappearance from the public eye method won't work – they had this card to pull as for who the father was.

At birth of the child, Effie's sister Proserpina will be signed as the birth mother, who transferred the parental rights to her sister and Plutarch will be signed as the father. Effie of course will have all the parental authority, since he is not the child's father and he doesn’t want to be – but as a part of the agreement that he will offer his protection to the child in times of need – he wanted, when time came, full control of their academic education.

A child who comes from two families who are known for their rebellious and outrageous tendencies could be a great investment in the future of a freer Panem and he needed to use every asset he had in this war against the man that set-in front of him, reading the reports from his agents from all around the country.

Plutarch figured that he was too deep in his thoughts when he heard Snow chuckles at something he read aloud from the papers and now he was commenting on said thing – and Plutarch missed half of it.

"Sorry mister president I was momentarily distracted, unfortunately I didn't get enough sleep last night, would you mind going back to the earlier segment?" Snow raised his brow and smirked at him creepily, like the monster that he was.

“My informers mentioned they are keeping a close following on the district twelve's 'team'." Snow repeated his words and accompanied them with another chuckle. "So… even after all those years it is still the same old tale, the two women are again twirling around the finger of their honorable man, like a little decorative weapon - the covey girl and the Trinket girl - history just can’t help but repeat itself, can’t it?”

The room suddenly turned frigid; Plutarch just slightly shivered and the weight on his shoulders tripled its size, as if buried under mountains of cold snow.

He knows.

Has his plan failed before it even had the chance to take its first breath?

Might it be the thing that will take down Haymitch Abernathy and Effie Trinket? Losing those two key players was Not something they could afford. For the sake of this plan or any other in his drawer - those two should stay exactly where they are, alive and somewhat well.

But before he could pretend not knowing what Snow meant and try to deflect the conversation away from the district Twelve team - the president continued.

“Well, in Haymitch's case those that twirling around him are his ghosts – the one he killed with his own hands and the other one… she will never actually be in his reach. As you are aware, Haymitch is too caught up with his… grief for his little covey dove to even think of bedding the Trinket slut - unlike you, right Plutarch?” He said while his artificially puffy lips curved into a smirk, almost as if he complimented him - man to man - on his successful… conquest.

Typical.

So, the rumors were spread successfully - Effie, albeit with the reputation of her family, does in fact know her way in society - Who would have thought?

One new piece of information a day - Another card to play – and victory is on its way!

So, let's play on this newfound… revelation.

“Well, what can I say - the woman brings the looks, when the man has needs and the means. Besides the fact that she was eager to please as I was to receive - what kind of man would say no to that?”

A deep, almost real laugh escaped snow’s throat “well now you’ve got to tell me how that went on for you, is the Trinket family still has the flexibility it takes to serve their superior? In the back door at least?”

Your enemies' Smugness will carve their name on the headstone of their graves. And right now - snows words reeked of poison and hubris, just in time for him to play along with his ridiculous perception of who Effie Trinket is - That conversation was only a small fragile part of the bigger picture, just one move of one soldier on the chess board, and right now Coriolanus Snow needed to feel like he’s winning - extra creativity will be needed with that one.

I will Apologize later Effie, since we both know what I'm about to say to Snow never happened - but this ace will have to be served very cold.

And unfortunately, it will have to be at your expense.

----

Effie found herself in a forest – like those she never witnessed in real life other than in relation to the hunger games. Endless rows of tall, evergreen trees that planted on the hard ground she could feel underneath her bare fit. The air around her, smelled of pine and rain, felt heavy when it entered her nose.

After hearing the cannon, she began to run, she didn’t know to where though. The only thing that she knew for sure was that the moment she stopped running would be her demise.

A murder of birds Circled above her head, followed her as she ran. In the blink of an eye, they surrounded her, as if they were trying to keep her in place.

And then she felt it - A single whiplash from the right, an electric shock from the left, and cries of 'district whore' and 'traitor' echoed from the birds' beaks straight into her head. The birds kept this circle of torture, but Effie didn’t give up, she kept on running, she didn’t want to die – not when she had to live, her family needs her to liv…

"Mom!" Helena and Jannaeus called together. Effie stopped for one second, enough to see them imprisoned inside their own murder of those evil birds. "Run!" Effie screamed "Run! This is the only way to stay alive, run!" she ran around them, tried to grab them and keep on running again.

She stopped when she realized that there was nothing left of them but their shiny white bones. She collapsed to the ground, sitting on her knees, so distort that she didn’t notice that the birds were long gone.

"Kids? Helena? Jannaeus? Where are you?" a voice echoed in front of her, which his owner appeared in front of her a second later, breaking her heart even more – Haymitch.

He seemed younger than she recalled, as young as he was when they first met. Haymitch frantically moved his head from side to side, calling the children's names until his eyes found her, hunching over the last remains of Helena and Jannaeus.

Does a broken heart make a sound? Because she could hear his heart breaking into pieces as he saw the fate of his children.

Without even realizing he mimicked Effie's position and screamed in agony. Effie rushed to his side and embraced him, which he desperately accepted. They cried together for what seemed to be forever as Haymitch suddenly murmured in her ear "I have nothing to live for", the same words he said to Plutarch all those years ago during his victory tour when they thought she wasn’t there. She took his face in her hands so he would look at her "you have our children, Haymitch!" she said to him, trying to convey confidence while sniffling. "You will always have Helena, Jannaeus and… you will always have me; you know that right?"

Regardless of her efforts to make him look at her, his gaze was elsewhere, and he certainly wasn’t listening to her. "Right?" she repeated, more desperate this time.

His answer to her despair was laughter, genuine and deep, as if she had told a really, really good joke. "Nah, my girl Is already dead so… there is no way in hell those dimwits were mine in the first place, you lied to me! Cause that’s what the Capitol does – lies and take away and kill and bury all the good people in the ground so there's no one who can oppose to their 'righteousness'!" He spoke and then spat on the ground next to the children's bones "Capitol mutts – all of you! You try to keep me away from my family! I won't let you! I won't!"

"Haymitch, we are your family! The children are yours by blood… we worked together for twenty-five years, standing by each other throughout everything! It's not enough for you to stay?" she was begging now, taking his hand in hers, trying to stop what she knows he is about to do.

"You lied to me you Capitol scum!" he said in anger as he ripped his hand from her hold and pointing an accusing finger at her, so close he almost poked her in the eye "you used me so you could say you’ve taken something from me, so guess what princess – nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping! You will never have a hold of me; the Capitol will never have a hold of me – not anymore!"

Before Effie could react to the haunting thoughts he had uttered, to try and refute his sudden opinions towards her because she knew he didn't really feel that way, she believed it with all her heart - he pulled a knife from his decorative belt and pointed it at his neck.

Haymitch spoke aloud while looking above "I'm finally joining you Lenore dove, the love of my life and the only one I've ever loved – I killed Snow and…" he glared manically right at her "and I didn't fall into the trap of the Trinket girl."

He moved his knife closer to his throat and before Effie could scream his name, Haymitch slit his throat, blood oozed in a red waterfall across his chest as he crashed on the ground.

The presidential mansion, Effie's room.

Effie woke up screaming her lungs out.

So incredibly loud that her throat became sore and so was the cruck of her right arm. Unclear beeps pound in her head as if they are repairing a road in her brain, the only thing that stops it is the sting grip Effie had on her hair.

But that hurts too.

And she couldn’t for the life of her to let go.

'Once this big thing that you feared had already happened – there is nothing you can do but face the world that wronged you with dignity, so they will know that you are not the type of person that can be taken down' was what her great-aunt Messalina always preached when she talked about great-uncle Sillius, the love of her life, which Effie knew only from her great- aunt stories and the amount of momentous and pictures of the man that were scuttered around the house.

To Messalina, Sillius was always alive, and she referred to him as such – not in the delusional type of way, but as if the fact that he died all those years ago wasn’t changing anything.

As if it wasn’t changing the fact that he will always be hers and she will always be his.

Effie couldn’t help herself but think about Haymitch, his dedication to Lenore Dove, how after all those years he still carries her with him and considers her in everything he does in his life.

When those thoughts came to her mind in the years before, they had the tendency to fill her with sadness but also with some scene of adoration and respect to her… whatever it is that Haymitch was for her – adoration to his loyalty, of his values that the alcohol hasn’t blurred from his mind.

She admired him for How direct and uncompromising his love for her is, without inhibitions or barriers, how pure and true. So much so she used to dream of love like that, even if deep down she knew she would never find a substitute for the outside world when the original and one of a kind, the creator itself was already so close and yet so far out of reach.

Thinking about it now? The only thing it made her fill and made her want to do was to tear her hair out of the skull, no matter how much it hurts. As of now the thought of Haymitch and his girl caused her to sink in hopelessness.

Even though she knew she was capable of resilience, deep down Effie felt that her unrequired love for Haymitch would be her undoing.

She feared she wouldn't be able to be as strong as she used to be without him, but she would have to be - for her children.

And with them popping into the whirlwind that occurred inside her mind, the tears busted out in full force, and she was able to withdraw the death grip she held on to her poor thin, lifeless hair. She took one deep breath and then another, repeating the ritual that she came up with to help Prosie with her stage fright when her baby sister had to present her first big project in school.

Who would have thought Effie would be the one who would be needed that ritual more?

She didn’t want to dig into her own feelings for him any further because in the overall scheme of things she knew he would never love her in the way she needed, and you cannot delete something that was set in stone by blowing on it.

As she calmed down, the pain had lessened, thankfully the beeping had stopped as well, and the hysteria gave way to clearer, responsible, and unselfish thoughts. The facts needed to be listed and with those facts and only considering those facts she would make an informed decision about what the next steps would be regarding her relationship with Haymitch and her children.

Haymitch is the father of my children, and he deserves to know. And Effie wants him to know and with this rare point in history where there is this chance for him to know without it harming any of them, him and the children need to know.

The kids like Haymitch and he seems to like them too. Which is good, but it is still not an indicator of his capabilities to be the father they need. He told her district thirteen forced sobriety on him, and it seemed to have worked according to what she absorbed. But as a mother she cannot allow Haymitch to drink near Helena and Jannaeus and it is not something she will ever be lightheaded about. Effie felt she needed more time to assess his state, to draw her own unbiased conclusions before approaching him with the truth. She needed to see how he reacts when her children are not at their best.

With that and with what the twenty-five years of working together has proven to her, Effie made up her mind – she would take those two weeks until Snow's execution to assess him around the children, before the she will tell him the truth she never had any intention to hide. With the conclusions that she will gather Effie will come up with an arrangement so they will be able to raise them together, all things considered. District twelve is completely in ruins as far as she knows, so as of now Haymitch will have to stay in the Capitol and it will give him and the children time to bond.

And I would not let my feelings get in the way of that she vowed Helena and Jannaeus needs their father in their life more then I need a man.

The clarity of the decision she made brought her peace and took her out of the nightmare of her children's death and she was in good enough shape to lift her head and scan the room and to realize Haymitch and the children weren’t there. She vaguely remembers Jannaeus whispering in her ear that they are taking Haymitch on a stroll and will be back soon.

So, Haymitch came back like he promised.

Suddenly, Effie located something on her nightstand -it was a book, but it wasn’t one of those Helena and Jannaeus brought earlier since the pile in the foot of the bed stayed as she remembered. The cover of this one is glossy and composed of multiple shades of red, all of it as decorated with a photo of a window that through it came the warmth of sunlight on a naked concrete staircase. The title of the book Built upon Love: Architectural Longing after Ethics and Aesthetics was written with this old font that was common in the post-modern era.

This book was right up my ally Effie thought, surprised by this specific choice – she loved her children to death, but ever since she read this one book that featured this one couple, they decided she needed a husband and that was the reason they made her buy books they had no idea the content of, only that it has a couple molesting each other on the cover, as if she needed to do her research of something 'And then we could have a father!'  they would explain. she tried to explain it to them that she didn’t not infect need a man without telling them about Haymitch before its due, with no avail.

Haymitch was their father, no other man will take that away from him.

But this book was something she was interested in, even if she hasn’t worked in the field since she graduated from the academy the year of Haymitch's game. She opened it and her eyes stopped on the introduction page, specifically on a dedication written in fresh black ink on a white page. The handwriting itself was a little shaky and the whole thing was a little smudged because the ink didn't have time to absorb into the page.

Effie knew Haymitch was the one who wrote it she would recognize his handwriting anywhere, but what shocked her was what he wrote –

"Made me think of you, of how Nothing never lasts for as long as you did, keeping me alive for so long. Hope we will last -H."

Here again the tears welled up in her eyes, and she tried to stifle it unsuccessfully. How can that man be so blind and at the same time to know exactly where to hit? What did he mean by 'we' – coworkers? Friends? It is obvious that he didn’t mean what Effie wanted it to mean, and she was sure he wasn’t aware of his fatherhood just yet.

Damn you, Haymitch Abernathy – you and your secrets.

Damn you for making me a tearful mess with this gesture I don’t even know how to prosses other than the fact that this is an obviously thoughtful gift.

The door to her room opened and Helena, Jannaeus and Haymitch came into the room with a smile plastered on their faces and their shoulders and hair wet and covered with snow. "Mom, mom mister Haymitch took us outside and we threw snow at each other and made snow angels and oh it was so so fun!" Helena said as she crashed into her with a big hug "and I won!" Jannaeus chimed and posed in victory.

"No, you didn’t!" Helena argued.

Jannaeus made a shocked expression and answered back "Yes, I did! My snowballs hit more times than yours!"

"Well, my snowballs hit both of you so technically the victory was mine." Haymitch interrupted their argument and chuckled smugly at them.

"Hey! But that's no fair mister Haymitch – you are already a victor!" Jannaeus called and crossed his arms.

"Well, life is not fair buddy" Haymitch said in a surprising fond tone as he ruffled the boy's dark curls.

This, now, to Effie was the picture of what a family looks like. Effie was so overwhelmed by everything that spilled in her mind and Haymitch's note and now this – she couldn’t hide her weeping anymore.

At that moment, as if they were in sync not just in their genetics, all three of them stopped what they were doing and turned their gaze to her. Before she could register, Haymitch was by her side as he took her hand in his and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Are you alright, princess?" His tone was quiet and calm and field with worry and his face changed from joyful to gloomy. She hated herself for putting him out of the joyful state of mind he had when he came back with the children. "Yes, I'm fine thank you. I just had a nightmare earlier and… I am not completely out just yet."

Half the truth is still the truth. I don’t want to dig into this just yet, not in front of the children anyway – they are familiar with bad dreams, the other stuff is not something she want to share just yet. Haymitch nodded in understanding but said nothing as his sad gaze fell on the book in her lap, as If he waits for her to acknowledge his gift.

Which should have been the first thing you needed to do Euphemia – where are your manners?

"Oh, Haymitch I was so preoccupied I completely forgot to thank you for the book, I really love it! This is truly up my ally!" she tried to pull off her best cheerful appearance as she could even if she felt like shit, because she did in fact love his gift. Haymitch seemed to have lost his speech "Haymitch? Did you hear me?" Effie asked, making him snap out of it "really? You do? " He asked quietly, and she nodded and said "yes, I truly do!"

To say that he was beaming at her answer would be an insult – in all the time she had known him he never smiled like that, only maybe after Katniss and Peeta won.

"Da… I mean mister Haymitch picked for all of us books that he thought we would like; he is really nice and funny and smart cause his taste in book is awesome! " Helena said suddenly causing Haymitch's cheeks to glow in a slight scarlet latter, probably from embarrassment.

"Yes! mister Haymitch is the best! Don’t you think mom?" her boy asked gleefully.

Haymitch is the best man I've ever known, and he is you father. and although it's like talking to a brick wall – oh how I long for him to love me, to truly love me – but I will be just as satisfied with being as we are now, it's better than I could ever hope for.

She looked at Haymitch as she answered, "you are right my love – there is no one in this world better then mister Haymitch."

He stifled a shy smile, his eyes became moist, and his pupils dilated. but he couldn't hide the blush that was getting redder and more prominent by the minute.

Effie at this moment is ready to give up on the chance that she and Haymitch would ever be together if her children and Haymitch were as happy as they are now.

Even if it killed her on the inside, she wouldn’t give up on the happiness of the most important people in her life.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 : the reaping

Reaping day of the 74th annual Hunger Games,  District Twelve’s justice building.

Effie wasn’t surprised when she located Haymitch slouched over his dinning room table. Twenty four years as District Twelve’s Escort taught her many things - one of them was how to tell the difference between dead and passed out.

What happened the last time Effie got emotional about Haymitch’s state and acted on it, she ended up standing in a position she never wished or thought she would ever find herself in.

But regardless of the potential consequences and the actual ones - she regretted non of it.

Their children were the apple of her eye, without them she wasn’t sure she would  have been able to stand straight face through everything or even move on after losing Prosie.

Even without being surprised, her heart still ached for him in multiple ways.

In ways she would never dare to put out front into the world.

Other then the fact that kind of connection between a District and a Capitol cannot ever be a thing, every time Effie had to witness the Haymitch she knew to be kind and loving, drowning in his sorrow, calling and mumbling to someone that is not her, it made her heart melting and hardening all at once.

Effie knew, even with their complicated disposition, that he at least considers her a friend, And she should be satisfied with that and carry herself with grace - ‘Stoic’ was her second name, after all.

At least back home, waited two little version of him, who looked up to her and granted her the trust to keep them safe and protect and guide them in this absurdity of a world - and she couldn’t be more grateful to Haymitch for the gift of them.

After the 65th pre reaping events, The protocol that was set in place in case ‘Haymitch is passed out before the reaping’ was as follows - open every possible window, brewing black coffee on the charcoal stove without getting Her clothes dirty, laying out a modest and appropriate outfit for him to wear in one of the rooms he never uses, taking his knife from his hand and walking him up as gently as she could before making him drink his coffee and eat something before sending him up to take a bath.

Marking sure he stays alive was her job the moment she first stepped into the district twelve’s apartment.

But It took her two years after their children were born to figured out that, regardless of haymitch’s worsening state and his longing for leaving this world - he wasn’t actively acting on it. He gives her the access to bring him into a somewhat presentable and alert state, thats not an act of someone suicidal.

This is an act of a man who is desperately trying fight between his desire to forget and his desire of ending things.

Very specific things.

At least thats what Effie understood from the accidental eavesdropping to one of  Haymitch’s and Plutrach’s hushed conversations.

If she recalls correctly, Haymitch’s exact words were “no drink could ever make me forget her asking me on her deathbed to make sure the sun will not rise on another reaping.”

Her as in his girl, there was no other her in his life, that code name was as familiar to her as if she and Lenore dove have been mates for years.

By proxy, certainly.

Plutrach’s answered Haymitch’s statement with a confidant chuckle “nothing can stop you - not when you are that determent!”

During those Twenty four years, the shadows forty six dead tributes, they has really good three night stand, if that’s an indication to anything and they had two truly wonderful living children together.

Yet, Effie never, not even once, saw determination in his eyes - it take him one look at their tributes to conclude that they have no chance of making it, hence numbness in his eyes and his actions filling everything, making it impossible to host any other emotion or belief next to it.

But during this occasion, It’s not the time to indulge herself in the past and the things she cannot change, not while she’s in her chair, talking to mayor undersee, on the stage connected to the district justice building, minutes before she was about to reap this years tributes.

Even if their time in her care would be short, the boy and girl of this year deserve the upmost respect she could give them - and that means That her abilities and connections, her time and her attention should be on them and for them.

In some cosmic way or its was Haymitch who activated some king of Effie radar and Sensing that she tried really hard to not think of him - one moment the district Twelve crowd clapped their hands awkwardly and on the other the clapping had stopped and she was thrusted into a tight hug that she couldn’t managed to pull her self out of.

Who this might be you ask? The only one that counts.

Her face must be so red right now under her makeup, How embarrassing.

“You smell so good” Haymitch murmured into her ear “just like in my dream… you and me… in some bed sheets… you were so… unreal!”

In the name of… oh, she was crossed with him right now! How much did he drink since she left his house earlier today? When she left, he was clean, properly dressed and somewhat aware of what is real and what is not.

Now he was severely drunker, even more then this morning, the brand new outfit she got him was disheveled and covered with stains and was worst part was…

“You stink Haymitch!” She whispered angrily at him while trying to push him to his own chair and covering her nose. “we are on live broadcast, behave yourself!” Apparently, he didn’t care one bit because his hold of her just became tighter.

Why does he have to grant her Affection right at that specific moment? why does he have to do it when he is in that miserable state? And when he smelled like sewage? Honestly, he needs to learn that soap is a venture, regardless of who you are interacting with.

“I missed you… princess” he kept his hold on her while nuzzling her neck “no sunshine… until you… I can’t without you” His sounded as if he was about to cry, making her anger dissolve in a flash.

But there is a time and a place for everything.

“Haymitch, Im right here with you, but I need you to let go now.” She gently pushed but he resisted while murmuring “don’t go” repeatedly. “Im not going anywhere, but I need to do my job and you need to do yours - he is watching” she warned before gently pleading “please Haymitch, I need you to let go for just until the ceremony is over.”

It seemed to do the trick as he let go of her, but not without rewarding her with a childish pout that does not aligned with the fact that he just turned forty years old. He slouched into his own chair and took a gulp out of a small ember bottle.

Two minutes later she positioned herself centre stage doing the regular reaping spiel, and getting straight into the main event.

“As usual - Ladies first!”

When she read the girls name out load she felt her body going cold despite the sunny weather.

Primrose Everdeen.

Could this be… no it couldn’t be…Burdock’s daughter? When she located the petite blond child wearing an outfit that was clearly to big for her, she was only partly relived - the girl was blond and paled skin, but she looked thin and small for the minimal age for the reaping. Of course over the years she met children much more sickly and disheveled the primrose, but the odd were almost never in favour of the twelve years olds.

But what shocked her even more was that for the first time in the history of the hunger games - District Twelve had a volunteer.

When she saw Katniss, she knew they were for sure Burdock’s daughters - the teen inherited his complications that were similer to Haymitch And his loyalty. Effie understood suddenly why Haymitch was so much more drunk today - his best friend, his Dead best friends daughter, who couldn’t be older then twelve years old - was picked for the games at her first reaping.

And his other daughter had volunteered to replace her.

Effie felt nauseous as the thought of the risk about her own children’s head, how much work was put into their safety and how thankful she was to whoever spins the wheel that this part of Helena and Jannaeus’s identity remains hidden.

What Effie didn’t consider is the impact of Katniss’s action. Every single person in the  audience lifted his right arm, their palms forming the three fingers symbol, one she witnessed before - standing by the sidelines and out of sight, face clean of makeup and her attire was In harmony with what women wore in district twelve - watching as two wooden boxes that hosted the lifeless bodies of her tributes were laid  into the ground and their loved once all giving them the gesture as a farewell at their last journey.

Haymitch couldn’t deal with those kinds of events without a bottle. Well he couldn’t deal with life without a bottle, but a funeral in not a place she would ever let him appear drunk to, both him and the deceaseds deserve some dignity.

The three finger salut never happens during the reaping, in front of a living tributes before, for a living person and never on live broadcast .

Never happens on a live broadcast that is going to watched in the Capitol.

Oh, this is bad… this is so very, extremely…

“Look at her! Look at this one!” Haymitch shouted while snapping his Arm around Katniss’s shoulders

“I likes that one!”

What in the name of Panem does he doing?

“I like her! Lots of… spunk! More then you!”

Haymitch, for the sake of everything that is important - please shut up!

He let go of Katniss and walked forward, keeping on shouting while pointing at a camera “more then you!”

As his image appeared on the big screen, Effie suddenly felt a shivering freezing chill throughout her entire body. She finally saw it - The determination Plutrach was talking about, At this moment Haymitch was uncompromisingly purposeful.

At the corner of her eyes Effie noticed arms going down while the crew’s focus was on Haymitch’s drunken and ridiculous congratulatory act. 

She couldn’t believe it - Haymitch shifted the focus away from the tributes of the citizens of Twelve to Katniss. Even thought she figured he did not planned the part when he stumbled down from the stage, plummeted on to the ground and knocking himself unconscious, but Haymitch knew what was he doing.

Fear bubbles inside of her when she tried not to speculate about what was the motive for his determination.

So she kept on playing the game, while the same rules still apply.

“Well, what an exciting day!”

The presidential mention, Effie, Jannaeus and Helena’s room, two weeks later

"Haymitch? Can you come here for a second, please?” Effie called him from the bathroom. In the two weeks that passed, she was on a full bed rest and recovered just enough to perform her punishment – orchestrating and organizing the entire spectacle of Snow's execution.

Much of her recovery is thanks to her two little once - Helena and Jannaeus.

During those two weeks, in between meetings and taking care of Katniss and Peeta, Haymitch tried to visit them as much as he could. Sometimes when Effie had to be somewhere regarding whatever Coin wanted her to be, Effie asked him if he could stay with them as she feared leaving them alone.

During those times he got to know them esoterically well - like how Jannaeus loved Plum jam but hated them raw, while Helena hated fruits in general and overall preferred vegetables, but their favorite thing to eat was fried fish with fries - and he was invited to their house to have some when they got to come back, since apparently Effie cooked them brilliantly.

He learned that Helena always pulled one leg out of the blanket when she slept because she was always warm and Jannaeus slept better without a pillow. And weirdly, even thought they liked reading a lot - they would exchange reading for having a conversation any day.

With everything that went on outside of Effie's room, the daily visits to see her and the kid's served absence of comfort and filled him with a weird warm sensation he hasn’t felt in a long while.

Inside the bathroom, Effie stood in front of the mirror and fixed her makeup in preparation for today's main event – Snow's execution. The back of her tight yet formal dress was open, showing a glimpse of her bare skin “can you help me with the zipper please?”

He hummed as he reached for the zipper, his eyes lingered upwards and the sight shook him to the core - multiple cross hatched lines that covered her back, some of were white and others were different shades of pink.

Oh, what did they do to you, princess?

If he'll ever find the monsters who dared to touch her…

“Haymitch?” Effie murmured quietly, startling him. Only then did he notice how long he stared at her scars and how long it took him not to zip her dress. "Oh, sorry Eff” he murmured back as he zipped her dress as quickly as he could.

"The scars are that bad ha?” Effie suddenly retorted as she fixed the collar of her dress. “Well, for how much it hurt when the guards inflicted them - I would not expect anything else.”

Bitterness was never a fitting look for her, and this side of her came to play only when Helena and Jannaeus weren’t in the room. They’ve been through enough, she said to him once. That it is not their job to contain her pain - she is their mother after all.

You are right, princess - but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer alone.

Haymitch recalled those times after they lost tributes to the horrors of the games, suffering and sinking into the feeling of desperation was the only thing they could do. Sometimes it lasted fifteen minutes, sometimes they stayed up miserable all night long.

Sometimes she insisted she ‘could not possibly leave you in this state, Haymitch’ and other times he teased and clanged on to her and just set there by her side.

Even if Back then it began out of necessity

And he was willing to prove that to her.

Haymitch thought he managed to crack her walls a bit since she loved the book he found for her two weeks ago, finishing it in a week. Also seeing her kids happy and content, the smile on her face was as bright as he has always known in and her eyes – her electric beautiful sapphire eyes – were reflecting true joy.

He wanted her to feel like that all the time.

It was trial and error, finding what would make her smile more and her eyes sparkle more brightly than before - sometimes he collaborated with Helena and her brother and sometimes he acted alone, but every day he made sure there was something that could bring a smile to her face - a book, a expansive perfume bottle that Helena found somewhere, a dad joke and the occasional tease like the interaction between them before the war.

Sometimes, even just interacting with the children made her smile.

But when it was just the two of them, Haymitch didn’t know if it was a sign of discomfort or comfort of being around him – Her face and shoulders fell, and her eyes darkened with sadness.

Considering what she went through, he didn't expect it to be otherwise, even if she was dealing with the whole thing better than he would have.

And yet He didn’t know how to even approach what she went through in prison, and he didn’t know what to do about it, how to help her beyond the occasional smile he managed to plaster on her face. With planning Snows execution, he unfortunately did not have the time to think how to either.

The man who made them all suffer will die today in a grand ceremony - and after that he will do whatever it takes to help her go through this.

Effie sighed and walked out of the bathroom; her heels clicked on the hardwood floor, and only then did he realised that he didn’t answer her question, damn it you idiot.

On the surface, she looked like the same old self -the dress suited her, and she was always good at holding to the image of elegant and pride -just as presentable as ever. But The sadness Behind her eyes told a different story, one he knew almost nothing about.

All he knew was that she suffered and survived horrid affairs and that it was his fault, and if he could go back in time - he would have taken her with him and never let her and her kids out of his sight - he would do whatever it takes to keep the three of them out of harm's way

He meant to clarify his silence and give an answer that might just bring this smile of hers he love so much back, but then like always – the door opened.

"Mom, mister Haymitch - look at the dress mister Heavensbee gave me for the ceremony tonight!” Helena called from the hallway as she ran towards them as her brother walked behind her.

Heleni wore a light blue dress made of silk. he only saw that type of fabric once, when the mayor's wife had an emergency before the victory tour arrived in twelve when he was ten, and she came to ask his Ma to help her remove a very stubborn stain.

They got to have a fine meal that night.

“Oh, you look like a princess my dear!” Effie chimed and kissed her daughter’s forehead, but the girls face scold to the words “no mom! Don’t be silly - you know that you are the princess - not me.”

Haymitch couldn’t help himself as he burst out with laughter “both of you can be princesses, you know that right Heleni?” He said as he whipped a stray tear off his eye and moved his hands to his hips.

It only made her to scold her face even more “no! In the storybooks, tend to be only one princess in each kingdom, so Mom is princess - I’m the fairy of stars!”

Both him and Effie laughed at that “well, you kinda look like starlight anyway so why not?” Haymitch said to the girl as he ruffled the crown of her head, trying not to mess up her hairdo.

Heleni beamed at his words “really, you truly think so mister Haymitch?”

“Of course I do, kid” he replied, and he wasn’t even lying - she was a beautiful child - thanks to Effie's genes no doubt - but wearing that smile, she really shone like a star.

“Jannaeus come here and let me admire how beautiful you are” Effie called her boy to join them; he stood nervously by the threshold of the room, observing.

"You really look like a princess mom” the boy said as he waked towards Effie; it seems both kids took a liking with his nickname to their mom, it made Haymitch chuckle to himself.

“And you are very handsome, my love. This dashing suit if a great fit for someone as dashing as yourself, you are as lovely as a star.” his mother said as she straightened his neckline as Heleni took her hand and tried to fix an invisible something in his curls.

Haymitch couldn’t help but admire what he has witnessed right now and all throughout the past two weeks - Effie and her kids, how close-knit they were and compare it to how they acted before reuniting - they now look almost content.

He dreaded to admit that he was… somewhat jealous.

For his family that has been taken away, and the fact he will never be able to be rejuvenated from a reunion with his loved ones like the three of them. For the potential of what was once his greatest dream of having a family with Lenore dove.

And that he would never be a part of this wonderful family Effie had built for herself.

Or anything that resembles that, anyway.

Also, the fact that he genuinely grew fond of the little trinkets. They’ve welcomed him into their lives in a way he never expected they would, not if their first meeting is an indication of anything.

And yet, they learnt to trust him and Effie didn't seem to mind having him around them to which he was grateful.

They were his escape from the ruins and the damages the old world left behind in its departure – he didn’t feel the need to drink as much when he was around them, even without Effie's warnings not to come to the room if he was even slightly drunk.

Of course, now that the booze is at an arm's length he couldn’t avoid it completely – but one glass in the evenings when he had to go back to his room in comparison to years of drowning in nepenthe, despair, rage and white liquor -  The change curve is large and significant, and Haymitch felt as if it was all thanks to them.

But with that, the bottom line of his connection with them was that he wasn’t more than a funny uncle to those kids. As far as he knew Helena and Jannaeus Trinket were Plutarch Heavensbee’s kids - if he believed Johanna, as she was the one to bring them to the victor's hovercraft and met them before he did.

Heavensbee hasn't set foot in Effie's room to visit the kids since they arrived back home, other than apparently providing them with outfits for today's ceremony. And from what both kids said - he barely even attended to them in district thirteen.

And that made his blood boil.

And it wasn’t the only thing that made his blood boil.

"I’ve been told to bring Heavensbees kids safe to the hovercraft, I didn’t know he and Trinket did it, or that she would ever let him touch her - but apparently the lucky basterd knocked her up and managed to keep it a secret for years! Letting people assume they had one night stand or some shit and paying her every year just so he doesn’t have to raise them.”

Johanna’s words made him want to kill Plutarch.

How did they even end up in the same bed? And having sex of all things?

Well, that is not extremely hard to imagine how- and it’s not a thing he wanted to picture in his head, ever.

That did not make sense in the slightest.

Haymitch could still picture their moment - Effie and him tangled up in the warmest of embraces, Effie's face nuzzling the crook of his neck while he planted a kiss on the top of her crown.

That particular inspired-by-life- daydream lived and prospered safe and sound in his head.

Most of the times he compared Effie and him having sex to finding a diamond in the coal mine - a phenomenon that could never truly occur, because of environmental and pressure differences. They were stars flying in two different orbits that never could meet.

In short - district and Capitol do not mix.

And it was based on reality, until said reality punched him in the face - and his virginity was at risk to be sold at to the highest bidder when the 52nd hunger games approached, and he turned eighteen.

And Effie was there, armed with positive attitude for generations and a kin eye to problem solving, standing by his side - her ever-presence forced upon him as a much needed lifeline.

So, he asked her to take something that he desperately wanted to keep.

She asked if, he was sure.

"I don’t have someone else to ask.”

Her blue eyes locked with his, as if she tried to find something under that pitiful desperate request and after a long minute she sighed and nodded with agreement.

The word grateful was too shallow to combat what he felt.

Effie led him to his room and told him she would be back in a moment as she went to her room to get ready. He walked back and forth in the room and realised at some point that he was holding his hands so tightly that they were starting to get numb, so he shook them to get the blood flowing.

What was he doing? Asking Effie to… make love to him?

No, Haymitch thought. this is business and nothing more.

She doesn’t love me and I don’t love her.

But you trust her enough to let her help you with that, to have her touch him in a way only your girl should touch you.

I’m so sorry Lenore dove, I don’t have another choose.

His bedroom door crackled as it welcomed an unexpectedly marvellous sight - Effie, with no heals on, a blue robe tied around her waist, accentuating her eyes that looked like sapphire. Her face bare and clean of any unnatural pigment, accompanied by locks of blond-red Hair pulled to a braid.

She's so radiant. Even in the darkness of the room she stood out,  Brighter then warm sun of summer.

Effie trinket, you are always so full of surprises, aren’t you?

But it wasn’t enough to shake out the huge amount of dread building in his stomach.

He was eager to dunk it and get this chore over with - but she was not having his attitude, and she said it to him Firmly, regardless of the delicate situation.

“You are surly aware that Someone’s first time is an emotional event and since our main focus today is you and your wellbeing - my only condition moving forward Is that I’m asking for your full attention to my words - and of course I will grant you the same favour, All you have to do is communicate your needs.”

“I’m not an idiot Effie - I know how to respect a woman, I was raised properly you know” Haymitch said as he felt his cheeks flare a little.

Effie’s eyes stared at him wide as the eye of a baby doe, with reflection of sadness in them that disappeared the second he caught it.

“I know you are Haymitch, that's not what I meant.”

"So, what did you mean, then?” He asked nervously.

"What I’m trying to say is that… here in this room, with me- you have a choice. We will go in your own pace - whether it is towards intercourse or nothing at all, everything goes - as long you make consent clear and you would grant me the same courtesy with my own body - you have a choice.”

Crying like a little boy in front of an older - even if not by much - beautiful woman, was not on his list for activities today, or ever - so he just nodded in agreement as he Tried to hold back the tears.

When was the last time someone gave him a choice?

They both laid on the bed as Effie took it slowly and gently, explained him the ordeal with skill and oblivious experience, guiding him thought the mechanics and through the unavoidable pleasure.

After they both came and they had the chance to register their breathing, she handed him the towel she prepared in advance so he could clean himself of.

Effie murmured a quiet good night and left the room but not before ordering him to go to the shower and do his business before bed, since it lowered the chances of infection or something.

She was gone so was her warmth along  with her. And from a high like that you can only go down low, and Haymitch's low point was down underground as the sense of betrayal he felt flooded his body almost like a frigid version the orgasm, he just experienced.

He could only hope Lenore dove would understand his position and wouldn’t hunt him for being with any other woman but her - she is the possessive type his girl.

She was the possessive type.

Overwhelmed by his enjoyment of the act leading to the betrayal, he finished a bottle of something brown and strong which knocked him real good until Silka came to his nightmare to cut his head off with her axe.

But their second time?

Over the years he imagined that night like the stars of were knocked out of their orbits and collided, becoming a parallel universe where only the two of them existed.

For once, Their needs and Their desires We’re in perfect sync. Every caress, every kiss was Overwhelming in the most glorious way.

He finally understood what the word making love came from.

So, to think that Plutarch Heavensbee shared that with Effie? And not only that, but the two created new life through their shared desire?

To him, it felt as if he lost one of the things that were truly his own, to cherish… To keep with him in the folds of his soul.

To guard with all he had.

That wasn’t his job anymore apparently.

“Well, I need to go now to prepare Katniss for… well you know what!” Effie said suddenly. “You two, be good for mister Haymitch, I love you both very very much.”

She hugged the kids and gave each on the them a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Before leaving, Effie approached him, put a hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "The president wants all the Victors to be present in conference room two on the upper floor by one o'clock this afternoon. I have a bad feeling about this. Please make sure the children are out of her sight and keep an eye on Katniss and Peeta."

Her blue eyes focused on his, as if she was looking for reassurance, worry and dread behind them Haymitch’s chest filled with sudden Determination - that Effie will never have that look in here eyes again.

She trusted him, like he trusted her all those years ago. Even if Effie would somehow always be in arm’s length, he was so grateful to her - and he would so  anything in his power to be a man she could relay on, a person who is worthy to be around her.

He caressed her shoulder and squeezed it and smirked in reassurance “I’m on it, princess.”

“Thank you, Haymitch.” The smile on her face so infectious, Haymitch was bound to smile too. Before she left, she carcasses his face and pressed her lips on his cheek, planting a gentle delicate kiss.

After that the only sound ringing in his ears was the sound of her heels as she exited the room.  

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: The Reaping part II

The Capitol, The tribute’s centre basement

Peeta couldn’t really focus on where the guards were dragging him - his head throbbed, his vision was blurry and his body ached all over. Suddenly, he was thrown - literally - into a dark humid cell, he groaned as his bruised figure hit the floor. The last substantial reminiscent of light was taken away as his captives locked the Heavy metal door, leaving only a a tiny window from which only a remnant of fluorescent light from the hallway entered.

Before Peeta had time to gather strength to force himself into a sitting position, something touched his shoulder - making him flitch and sending him far to the opposite of the cell.

“Im sorry, I am so sorry Peeta! I didn’t mean to… it’s me… it’s Effie.” Effie? He couldn’t tell for sure, she sounded indeed like Effie, but the woman in front of him didn’t look like Effie. The Effie he knows, the flamboyant, neat and greety Effie - wouldn’t be at home in a place like this - and as a rebel non the less.

On the other hand, so did he.

“Effie?” He murmured in disbelief “is that really you?” The woman gasped and choked on her tears before confirming the answer to his question. “Yes, it’s me dear! Oh, what did those monsters have done to you?” Effie got closer to him and began examining his injuries, Not that she could do anything to cure or ease his suffering - but he allowed her the curtesy.

“I’m fine Effie, don’t worry.”

She looked at him in disbelief, but said nothing. Her touch was gentle and cautious and extremely comforting, the tips of her fingers roamed the exposed parts of his body, scanning to the best of her ability and the lack of light. He let himself melt into her care. Until she reached his temples, making his wince in pain.

“Oh, sorry dear.” Effie quickly apologised, pulling her hand back “you are bleeding though, hang on.” He could hear Effie grabbing something from her side of the cell and then came the sound of light water splashing. The contact of the wet cloth with his temple burned a little, but the more Effie persisted in the action, the calmer the area felt.

“Thank you, Effie.” Peeta said groggily.

“Don’t mentioned it.” She answered absentmindedly.

Effie continued to clean the wound as best she could, but an awkward silence reigned in the room for a moment before Peeta felt comfortable enough to try and extract information.

“Why are you here?” Peeta asked hesitantly.

“They think I have something to do with Katniss blowing up the arena” she answered bluntly. “I don’t know anything about a rebel coop, Haymitch wouldn’t tell me anything - even I asked.”

Haymitch, Of course, who else? “So the plan was Haymitch’s idea?”

“I could only assume, he and Plutarch are one hell of a team, especially when it comes to this.” Effie put the other side of the cloth into the small vessel and cleaned his temple more thoroughly “he trusted Plutarch with this, but not us? I should have known. Haymitch never seem to learn from his mistakes, does he?” She murmured That last sentence, which mean it was ment for her ears only, so Peeta didn’t push that further, but then the conversation took on a completely different direction.

“Let’s just hope that at least they made it out alive along with Katniss and the children.

Children? What children? “I thought katniss and I are the children” he said in a chuckle, trying to pull a laugh out of her, but Effie’s face looked as far from amused as they could have been. Not angry necessarily, shocked perhaps?

She sighed loudly before talking, her gaze focused of his bruised temple even thought he was sure she finished attending it. “Well, I suppose that none of it matter now.”

“What does not matter?” Peeta asked, puzzled.

It took Effie a minute to collect herself “Don’t get me wrong Peeta, both you and Katniss are very dear to me and yes - I do care for you as if you where my own. But…” Her breathing became suffocated and heavy, tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.

“It’s something I almost never share with anyone, because of what I do… did for a living. But If my plan went through as it should have been and whatever it was that Plutarch has planned ran smoothly” Effie looked up suddenly, before continuing “he will never be able to get his hands on them.”

Effie moved her gaze back to him “by them I mean my children - a girl and a boy, they’re twins and they are the light of my life.”

Well, that was unexpected. The fact that she was a mother, not that it’s weird, Peeta knew she would do a marvellous job with how well she took care of all of them, but something still fell of.

“But… I thought you are not married.”

The statement made Effie roll her eyes, but she smiled and chuckled fondly “I guess that’s where cultural differences come to play - if I’m not mistaken, it’s not a common thing in district twelve to have sex before marriage, right?”

Peeta nodded, somewhat embarrassed, even though it’s not the first ‘talk’ she has with him - the first one was Initiated when he start to sleep in Katniss’s room and included Effie explaining him the Anthony and the whole convent thing - which he knew some of, while Haymitch shove something he called ‘protection’ into his hands and grumbled at him to do it quietly and out of his sight.

Of course, Effie had explained him later what condoms are, but this talk didn’t led to anything. He wasn’t ready for anything like that before he was arrested, so Katniss for sure wasn’t. 

Nor wanting to do that with him.

“So, In the Capitol it is much more common” Effie continued “marriage in not a factor for starting a family and having a family is not the purpose of marriage - so people are… abusing that so called liberty. But in my case… it’s a tiny bit more complicated then that.” She got closer to him, whispering the next part in his ear. “My children, Jannaeus and Helena. They are not just…”

Before she could even finish her sentence, three bulky guards bursted through the door and grabbed Effie violently by her arms. “Let go! Live her alone!” Peeta screamed, tried to fight them off, because he knew - he knew what was waited for her outside of this cell. He tried to grab her but one of the cards kicked him In the stomach, his head Hit the wall - making him pass out.

Hours later, he woken up to find Effie curled up in the other corner, her body shivering, her head moved from side to side as if she tried to fend something off - an experience he knew all too well by knowing since the games and the nightmares that followed it.

After his multiple sessions of tracker jacker venom, many of his memories of prison were blurry at best, since Katniss was tied up to them somehow. Only when he actually had the honour to meet Helena and Jannaeus for the first time, he recalled how during her probably brutal nightmare, after whatever it is they done to her - she mumbled.

She mumbled and screamed Repeatedly, three words that summed up the whole story - Helena, Jannaeus, Haymitch.

The presidential mansion, multiple locations

“Our birthday is on march 18th, people say it’s year 66 of the games, but We read a book in mister Heavensbee’s library about a group of people representing years in animals. We like dogs, so instead of saying the year of the game, we say we were born in then year of the dog!”

Haymitch had to admit Helena has her way with words, but she can be an even greater chatter box then her mother when she wanted to - and that’s says plenty.

the amount of simultaneously cute and annoying nonsense the kids made listen and engage with in the last hour, had the potential to feed the entire seam population for a month.

“Mom say that’s not the accepted way to present it, but we don't care, even though we do respect Mom and do what she asks.”

He knew that Effie’s was patience made of iron - she had to deal with him when he acted like a stubborn, drunk, and miserable mule - but even though he was fond of the little ones,  he learned that taking care of them can be very mentally exhausting.

Well, that’s one more impressive thing about her to add to the daily Effie list.

The first surprise entry of today was that farewell kiss she gave him this morning.

He couldn’t for the life of Him predict she’d do that. Sure, she kissed him on the cheeks many times, mainly because it was the way people are greeting one another in the Capitol - even when they clearly hate each other.

And they kissed on the lips too, Obviously - those were real and So impolite he was sure Effie was still cringing from it - but to him, it was raw and Real and from his point of view - it was also genuine, even within the temporality of the moment.

It was the only way he was able to be genuine since he survived his games.

But this time, he almost thought he imagined that - he could have swore Effie lingered just a tiny bit longer, as if she tried to reminded him what her lips left like when they touched and lingered other parts of him.

For a moment, Haymitch almost forgot It’s been since they’ve been intimate - actually it’s been more then that if he counted their first time and his lips still tingled as if they kissed a mere minute ago, as if they were still laid in bed back in district Twelve, Without a worry in the world.

“Mister Haymitch? Mister Haymitch?” Jannaeus’s hand moved in front of him from left to right, trying to get his attention. “Oh no! I think we broke him, mom will kill us!” Helena commented as she poked his bicep with her pointer finger, so obviously teasing.

We are going on the route now? Haymitch chuckled to himself. Two could play this game, kiddo.

Suddenly, he grabbed the little hand that poked him, pulled the girl towards him and began tickling her, which made her giggle hysterically. Jannaeus almost roared as jumped on Haymitch’s back, wrapped his little arms around his neck, half trying to help his sister half trying to play along with the situation. In response, Haymitch poked Jannaeus at the waist, making him lose his hold on Helena who was all ready for revenge and began tickling him right back.

Haymitch didn’t realise for how long they’ve played and teased each other back and forth but at the end he found himself lying on the floor with the children’s head on his stomach, trying to regulate his breathing after this strenuous activity. I am too old of this Haymitch thought to himself - he was exhausted, but at the same time almost content, satisfied even - his jaw was aching from laughing too much, he didn’t even know it’s a possibility for his in this lifetime.

In the corner of his eye he located the big grandfather clock, The large hand of the clock points down and the small hand points up.

Shit.

He has this victor meeting thing with Coin in half an hour, but all he wants to do is stay exactly where he was.

But duty calls.

So he Slowly got up, trying not to alarm the kids that adopted him as their personal pillow.

“Sorry to wake you up, but I need to go.” Haymitch said as he grunted rose to his feet’s. But before he could make even one step, he felt somethings or rather someones Grabbing his shins.

“Please don’t go mister Haymitch, we didn’t play compliword yet and you promised us we will try it again!” Yeah, that was the game they tried to teach him yesterday, but he was so tired he fell asleep on the velvet chair in their room, right when they began to explain the rules to him.

The kids were kinda pissed but It made Effie giggle a little, so he guessed he was good on that one.

“We will play that later, promise” Haymitch said “trust me kids, I really don’t wanna - but I’ve got to go.” Haymitch pleaded and even whined a bit, but the children only tighten their hold to his legs and making their point even more clear by sitting on his feet.

- - - - - -

Helena and Jannaeus did not like mister Haymitch’s answer one bit.

If they cannot be with their mother, they should be with their father - that was the right order of things when it comes to family. Unfortunately, they could not use that claim, since they did not get a conformation for their suspicions from mom or from mister Haymitch.

Even if mister Haymitch is not their father, it does not mean they want to stay alone in their room.

“But mom isn’t here, so you should be!” Helena whined, lifting her gaze and pouted “please mister Haymitch! You can take us with you, we will be good - we promise!” They were good, Well behaved and polite children, a joy to be around! Why they could not go with him? Well, if he doesn’t want us around it is his loss!

Suddenly, Haymitch sigh and gone down to their level, so they loosened their grip on his legs.

- - - - - -

“Ok, spill it. What’s your deal today? I know you don’t really want to come with me from this stupid meeting.” Haymitch bluntly asked. “Mom said There would be other victors in this meeting” Jannaeus said “and we still haven’t talked to all of them!” Helena explained with added enthusiasm, making Haymitch raise an eyebrow.

The kids haven’t spoke about the other victors they’ve met and had no other encounters with them in the past week and a half, since they were attached to their mother - And as a result, to him - metaphorically by the hip.

This ‘victor chase’ was old news by now.

So Haymitch wasn’t buying it.

“Kids… by ‘spill it’, I meant that you two tell me what’s wrong. You will not be in trouble not with me and not with your ma, if that’s what you are worried about” He told them. “But both your Ma and myself have a things to do, some of them we really really don’t want to do - and it doesn’t make life easier if with that, we have to worry about your well being. So, what is going on?”

He indeed wasn’t angry, but Haymitch haven’t removed his gaze away from them, which he hoped that they would understand that as “he wouldn’t let go until Helena and Jannaeus would tell him the truth”.

“We don’t want you to go.” Jannaeus said quietly, playing with his hands. “We don’t want to stay here alone.” Helena nodded in agreement.

Oh, Right. Make sense.

Of course it makes sense, how could he be this blunt?

Sudden sadness filled his heart, so much so that he almost thrown every bit of responsibility he had out of the window and allowing them to tell him about their game again.

Almost.

He was supposed to be the adult here,

So he did the one thing he could think that his ma would do - he opened his arms and both of them jumped into his hug. “Me and your Ma will be back as soon as we finish this thing and then we can do anything you want.”

“Promise?” Helena asked with pleading eyes. And he gave her the biggest smile he could form “promise”.

Before Haymitch left he made sure they remembered what Effie told them - there is food and water in the fridge, they can do whatever they wanted in their room but they are not allowed to leave the room until one of them comes back.

- - - - - -

After mister Haymitch left, the two kids picked some a book each from their pile, but they weren’t really reading. After ten minutes of pretend reading, they both looked at each other mischievously, put their books back in the pile, put their shoes on, opened the door and left their room to find him.

Because Technically, mister Haymitch was not their dad just yet, so…

The presidential mansion, 13:30, some hallway on the upper floor

“…And after the meeting, each victor except Katniss have an hour for prep before having to show up at the mention’s main gate for the ceremony…” Effie mumbled to herself as she went through the schedule for the fifth time, just to make sure she got everything right.

Going back to work again after her rescue was oddly comforting - the responsibility, the strict structure, the organisation part of it all, brought out a part of her she thought was left on the floor of her cell.

Regardless of the circumstances - it made her feel like herself again.

And she couldn’t forget that her children had a great part in her ability to even being capable to preform as needed for today events. 

And so did Haymitch.

The last two weeks were clouded by her constant Never-ending busyness regarding their family issues - watching Haymitch and the children interact as they created a bond that caused her to involuntarily giggle in joy just thinking about it.

And she figured very early on that Haymitch would be a great father - he was attentive, patient, compassionate and oddly committed. He came to their room every evening like clockwork, as sober as he was on the day the first met, giving them his up most attention.

Honestly? He was indeed everything she thought he would be, both emotionally and physically. It was as clear as day and cold as ice - today is the day she will tell him.

And It terrified her to death.

What terrified her about telling him wasn’t anything to do with him but everything to do with the way their relationship will be changed forever - now that Snow was defeated and the games is a thing of the past, the only thing to bong her and Haymitch together would be their twins.

And it broke her heart. 

Never in her life she thought she would ever have to face a situation of coparenting, especially with the man she is so in love with it hurt and the only solution she could come up with was to just rise above it, carry on and And completely suppress any romantic feelings towards the father of her children.

The father of her children who was her longest closest friend, the man who saved her life, The only person who made her feel loved when he touched her.

That man who is loyalty and love knows no bounds Of life and death, who will not stop loving his girl just because Snow killed her.

She sighed as she came to the finale decision - If she want her kids to have the family they deserve, her crush on Haymitch would be something she will have to let go of - and she will do so gladly.

The hallway was eerily quiet, so the sound of the quick legs stomp on the expansive marble floor were audibly loud. Effie turned her head towards the sound and was shocked to see Helena and Jannaeus running towards her from the direction of condescending room two, screaming to her, their faces white as if they’ve seen a ghost.

What in the name of Panem they are doing here?

“Helena-Salome, Jannaeus-Alexander I thought I was very clear on…”

“Mom! Mom! It’s Dad… something’a wrong with him and Beetee told us to call you… and…and” Helena was hysterical and Jannaeus looked at the verge of tears. What ever happened in there with their dad was probably very…

Wait, their dad? As in Haymitch?

Oh, no.

“What do you mean Dad? Do you mean mister Haymitch?” Effie asked carefully, not wanting to freak them out even more, even thought she felt a spectrum of emotion that went from pissed and dread.

The children nodded but Effie knew that look on their faces - as if they’ve seen caught for doing something bad. She will talk to them later about disobeying her, but right now she needed to know what the was going on.

“How do you know that mister Haymitch is…”

“We didn’t knew, we guessed. Mister Haymitch has Grey eyes like me.” Jannaeus said, which was the moment Effie realised that he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

This is bad, it was really bad.

She nodded but did not respond, she will deal with disciplining them later. “Okay, here is what’s going to happened - I'm going in there to see what is going on and you two are going back to our room, lock the door. Don’t open the doors unless it’s me or mister Haymitch - am I clear?”

She used her no nonsense voice that she really used, making it very effective. They nodded and ran back down the stairs and in the first moment she could not see them in the staircase, she made her way to contract room number two to try and fix a mess she wasn’t sure how she found herself in.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12: The Reaping part III

Reaping day of the 75th annual Hunger Games,  District Twelve’s justice building. 

On his first reaping day as a tribute , the sky mimicking Lenore Dove’s tears of agony, as if nature itself was empathetic to the misery, misfortune and injustice that befell upon them. 

On this reaping day though - the sun hovers up above the sky, hot and blazing - just like the fire they are about to ignite throughout Panem.

Access to the victor’s village was blocked, so for the first time in years, Effie wasn’t allowed to be here and sober him up - Not that there was so much sobering up to do since Peeta had put them all on this strict regiment that did not include liquor, forcing Haymitch to be all smiles and present in this nightmare of a reality.

So he started his forty-first birthday with feeding Lenore dove those bloody, poison-dripping gumdrops, she died in my arms and her last words echoing in his ears, in his head, all around him. He woke up screaming his lungs out, the old frayed shirt was soaked from sweat and his face stained with tears.

Nothing new here.

He wasn’t in the mood for lecturing from Peeta, so he dragged himself out of bed, stepped into the shower, standing under the stream of hot water, taking comfort in the feeling of raindrops created by the Capitol's upgraded shower head; Haymitch wanted to delay that moment, that moment he had to face the music ,for as long as he could, because the moment he left his house - was the moment when the everything starts, the moment where everything - hopefully - will change.

By the time he was out of the shower, wearing some shirt, trousers and his best grey wool coat, Peeta knocked on his door, reminding him that he was supposed to come to his house for a ‘last meal’ before the peacekeepers came.

Haymitch wasn’t hungry, but he went over there anyway, even though he didn’t have the energy for the kid berating him for his so called ‘distractive habits’.

But the thought of being alone today dreaded him the core.

When Half past one was displayed on the clock in Peeta’s living room, a loud knock was heard from the front door.

Here we go again.

The peacekeepers walked along with the three of them - walked them was a better description - all the way to the justice building, where the ceremony was all ready, where everybody stood their place and waited for the main performance to appear.

As they walked, Haymitch could see Effie in her usual placement on the stage, she was watching him with a look her could only describe as heartbroken - She took several deep breaths, trying to steady herself as she clasped her hands together in a death grip.

Even the all mighty Effie Trinket couldn’t put on a smile on this special day. How wrong is that? 

And it made his heart ache even more then it already did, but if he kept thinking about it

The tears will win the battle and that was not the fucking time for being emotional, so he forced himself to focused on her outfit instead.

Her dress was bright orange, the same colour that stained Lenore Dove nails when she painted her poster. That colour made Effie stand out among the dusty dark grey of the building; but thats how it always was - in compression to District Twelve, Effie Trinket stood out like a pain in the ass.

He knows her too well to understand something about her outfit was different then years past - Up close, he  

could tell that the dress was made out of hundreds of orange butterflies in that seemed to colliding together around the curves of her body. Her shoes were black - a colour she rarely wore and the sole made it like she walked on a set of fangs.

Her wig was golden and her makeup in compare to the past was almost… natural, so much so he could see her shiny blue eyes from where he was.

Don’t cry Eff, it’s not worth it, hold it just until the train.

I don’t know if I’d be able to hold myself if you won’t, princess.

Even without her usual cheerfulness, Effie - ever so professional - had to play the game like every year. It’s the ‘ladies first’ and then putting her hand into the bowl, picking the note that unsurprisingly has katniss’s name on it.

It was Inevitable, no words can describe how sorry I am Burdock - but I’ll do my best to protect her, I promise.

Effie makes her way to the opposite bowl, I life my gaze and lock my eyes with her - she is holding herself but she wasn’t good. Regardless of her outgoing personality, she rarely truly cared for someone - but he knew how much empathy she had for their tributes over the years and how much she truly love and care Katniss and Peeta.

He tried not to think of the way Effie perceived him over the years, on how her feelings towards him fluctuated Depending on his behaviour which tended to be outrageous in Capitol standards - he was the worst victor ever after all.

Regardless of and maybe despite that, Effie was always there for him and was practically his best friend.

But she would be much safer in the Capitol, the place where she grew up in, where she belonged, the place that her disguise would be believed.

Even though, deep down in the deepest crevices of his bleeding heart, he wanted - almost yearned for her to be by his side so bad he wanted to scream.

No, he couldn’t - shouldn’t ask her - Selfishness went out of the window the day his family died because of his stupid desire to anything else other than fill the cistern.

Effie picked one of the slip from the bowl and when back to the microphone. “The male tribute from district twelve…” she looked at the slip as she opened it and sighed in… relief?

“Haymitch Abernathy.”

Well, there is a first time for everything.

But them Peeta did what he said he’d do - he volunteered with no hesitation, rejecting any of Haymitch’s pleased to reconsider before walking and standing next to Effie.

The moment Effie closed the ceremony, peacekeepers grabbed katniss and Peeta and lead them backstage and I quickly stood by Effie to make sure non of those bustards will try and manhandle her, she seemed relieved when I did. 

I’ll have to talk to her later about that.

As we boarded the train, I remembered Lenore Dove’s tears as she stood outside the train, giving me a goodbye that was just our own. 

I know you are with me Lenore Dove, watching and I hope you are proud of me. After today, no sunrise will ever rise on another reaping - Just as I promised, i will be the last tribute to ever be reaped.

And The hunger games will end with me.

The presidential mansion, Conference room two.

Helena and Jannaeus sneaked right under the noses of the guards, who stood by the doors as they used their finale moment before the victors came to play some gambling card game. The kids plan was to wait until mister Haymitch showed up and surprise him right before the thing would start - then he wouldn’t have a choice but let them stay here with him.

The room was empty and quite since no one showed up yet. The room was decorated with old looking painting in detailed frames, Hung on the butter yellow wall. In the middle of the room stood a big round wooden table, way bigger then the one they had back home and even bigger then the one at grandfather’s house. “We can hide under here” Helena said as she grabbed Jannaeus’s hand and guided him under the table, as he seemed a bit distracted. 

When the both set under the table, Helena noticed Jannaeus repeatedly moved between rubbing his eyes and pressing on his eye socket while groaning in discomfort. 

“It’s your eyes again?” She whispered.

He nodded in confirmation and finally removed the glasses from his face, putting them on the floor next to him “it’s never been this bad before” Jannaeus replied in a whisper.

Helena made a face “why you don’t say something to mom - you should tell her, glasses are not supposed to do that, even if they are not real glasses.”

Jannaeus hated when his sister tried to tell him what to do, especially when he was in pain. But she was right - he never told mom that the glasses made his vision worst and caused him pain. If mom knew the glasses hurt him - she would throw them out of a window herself.

“I will tell her afte…” he began replacing but stoped himself as he heard the main door cracking open. Both kids tired to get a view to see if it was mister Haymitch, but the person who entered the room wore a pair of grey heeled boots - a woman.

One by one more and more people entered into the room - they recognised Beetee because of his wheelchair and they could hear him exchanging words with Annie and Johanna. Another set of boots with heels - black lather this time - which they didn’t recognised passed then and set to Johanna’s left, along with another set of boots with heavy looking soles who set next to Annie.

When they saw mister Haymitch’s shoes from under the table, Helena was about to jump and attract his attention before the woman with the grey boots spoke “Katniss should be arriving at any minute, when she arrives, we can begin” Making Jannaeus grab her hand to stop her.

“It’s the ghost” Jannaeus looked at his sister terrified as he moved his lips silently, so that they wouldn't know they were there. 

When they were in Thirteen - the hole - they had code names from almost everything, since they had to hide who they were related to, but also so they could talk to each other without anyone would understand - people had the tendency to see the two of them, comment on how their ‘silly twin quirks’ were ‘enduring’ and would otherwise leave them alone.

They called The leader of district thirteen President Alma Coin ‘the ghost’ not just because she was scary - when they were assigned assigned their room, they did not know that every room had an amplifier for daily broadcasts and they though Coin was an actual ghost when her general message woke them up at five in the morning.

Coin scared them even back then, but up close as she spoke up high from her balcony - her presence made them tremble in fear. Even though  the woman was soft spoken, polite and respectful in an eerie way, as if she spoke with silk in her mouth while simultaneously spitting poison at them - that’s why they tired to avoid her at all costs.

And if what mister Haymitch said about where the laundry lines was true - they were lucky in that regard. 

“Katniss, we are glad you were able to join us.” Coin addressed the victor in the authoritarian voice she was known for as the victor apparently entered the room. Her steps were barely audible as she took the last chair available next to mister Haymitch, who was the first to cut to the chase “So, what this is about?”

Coin explained the debate she would need the victors to help settle - as they are about to execute Snow and hundred of his accomplices were put on trail and were waiting for their punishment. But the suffering of the districts has been so bad that they want every single capitol citizen to die. It’s the first time the children heard about this - sure, they were aware that the tributes are not in the games because they wanted to, but their mother never told them about how bad it actually was. Helena’s covered her mouth with her hand as her other hand trembled, Jannaeus quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it with comforting  force, I a way to soothe his own fear.

“As we want to maintain a sustainable population, we could not afford this. Hence another preposition was made and my colleagues and I came to the conclusion that we would let the victors decided on the outcome by voting - a majority of four will approve the proposal and no one may abstain from voting.” Coin said, then she opened what sounded like a folder before continuing.

“What was proposed was that instead of eliminating the entirety of the capitol population, which would be inefficient and wasteful - we would hold a finale symbolic hunger games - when the tributes who will be reaped would be directly related to those who held the most power.”

The room immediately became silent, the disbelief was unanimous. Jannaues was shocked and Helena was seething with rage and she squeezed her brother’s hand even stronger so she won’t follow her urge to punch that grey mop of a women in the face.

Johanna and one other victor sounded as shocked as they were, asking her if she was joking.Coin clarified her truth of the matter but made it clear that it would be done with the victors approval.

“Was it Plutrach’s idea?” Haymitch asked cautiously.

“It was mine” said Coin and waisted no time before told the victors to cast their votes.

The one male victor they did not know said no immediately, passionately angry about the fact that option was even available. Johanna and the female victors they didn’t knew voted yes. Annie agreed with the male victor - Peeta, which they knew to be one of their mother’s victors - and voted no, as she claim that what was Finnick - another victor which they saw a lot on television - would have wanted. Beetee also voted no, claiming the district and the capitol should stop view each other as enemies, a statement which the children completely agreed with.

“Well, we’re down to Katniss and Haymitch” said Coin.

The children were now wrapped up in each other’s embrace, each covering their mouth with their hand, their heart beating in their chests like a car engine. When Katniss voted yes, Jannaeus felt Helena stirring in his arms and headed his hold on her even stronger while silently mouthing to her to stop.

Coin hummed in approval “It’s up to you know Haymitch.” Under the table, they set nervously alert, even though they know they shouldn’t - they know Haymitch would not agree to that, he is a good man who loved them and their mother and he would never stand for this - But then, reality his them harder then ever before As Haymitch casted his vote.

“I’m with the mockingjay.”

The mockingjay was Katniss, which means he agreed with her, which means Haymitch, who they suspected to be their father - voted for the continuation of the games - with the potential that they might just end up in it. 

The children look at each other in shock, tears flowed from their eyes, betrayal building in their stomach.They would die, or they will come out of their crazy and only one of them could win… the spittle of thoughts made Helena finally snap, she pushed her brother away as she emerged from under the table. “This is not right!” She screamed and used Johanna’s chair to climb on the round table.

“Helena get back down!” Jannaeus called as he followed her up to the table, trying to get his sister back down “This is not right Jannaeus and you know it” she said to her brother before turning back to the victors and the mop president “you all know it! Why would you do that if you know how much suffering it would cause, This is… appalling!”

The victors seemed surprised by her outburst, especially those they never met before who had no idea of where this girl with a clear and bright Capitol accent popped up from - as they should. “You started this war because of the games and now you are bringing them back? What was the point of all of this then?” The words came out of her without thinking, filled with rage and anger and disappointment, so much so Jannaeus could hold in his own feelings anymore “you are supposed to be the good guys” Jannaeus said “you were suppose to change everything and make the world better - but you made it worse!”

Coin looked at them with contempt, as if they were trying to ruin her victory but they didn’t care. They were left alone by one of the people they loved the most - again - but this time they will not hide, they will fight using their best weapons - their brain and their mother’s own mother work expiriance. “We know every single victor in this room, some just from the television, some personally” Helena instinctively turned to Haymitch as she spoke “some by stories we heard from someone who is very close to some of you.” 

“We know that some have you had children and other family members that Snow killed without mercy, we know Snow did horrible things to all of you, we know how hard it was for you to mentor your tributes that would end up losing the bloodbath” Jannaeus chimed in and delivered the finale blow “so you are strong enough to face one of the children you are about to send to the arena.”

——

“Haymitch…” Katniss hesitantly touched his elbow and whispered in his ear in disbelief “the boy, he looks like he is from… no, there is no way!”

Haymitch could hear Katniss’s voice as an echo of sort, but couldn’t understand what she was saying. It was evidently apparent that his heart moved all the way up to his aching head and resumed its beating in between his ears. He was still reeling over the harsh words that had come out of Effie's children's mouths, the understanding they on surfers level were right, when suddenly he understood that Katniss had said something to him. 

“What?” He whispered back while turning his head towards her. “Look at the boy, he looks like he is from the seam - he has grey eyes” Katniss whispered in his ear, making Haymitch's head jolt in the children’s direction, again. 

He focused his gaze om Jannaeus - that cannot be… he….he knew that boy! He would have noticed if his eyes were… his heart skipped a beat as he met the boys' eyes that for the first time, weren't covered or hidden by his glasses - making the seam grey of his eyes shine as bright and as beautiful as a miracle. 

For a moment, all Haymitch could see was his brother Sid, only this time Haymitch was certain that this wasn’t Sid. He knew whole heartedly that it was Jannaeus - Effie's boy, smart, quiet, polite and hella protective of his mother nad sister - and that boy was most definitely not a mutt.

But, Haymitch was also one hundred percent sure that those eyes weren’t from the Heavensbee side of the family. 

His mind spiraled as he tried to remember if Effie ever mentioned or said anything about sleeping with Plutarch, any situation or timing or occasion where that absurd of a situation could have happened - sure there was this time at finnick’s victory party at the Heavensbee Manner where they were a bit too cozy for his opinion, but Effie’s father had also attend, and there ain’t no way Effie would have sex with someone when her own father is in the room, it’s would not something she would do, ever.

In sort, he couldn’t thing of one occasion when he remembered Effie slept with someone that he wasn’t aware of,He was also certain that Effie didn’t do it with anyone during that period, especially not after what they…

Oh, fuck.

Helena mentioned that their birthday was on March before the 66th hunger games. If he remembered correctly from the time his own Ma carried his deadest Premature twin sisters, it made sense that Helena and Jannaeus might have been born early. The second and last time Effie and him had sex was in July right before the 65th games, so the twins were born prematurely around the seventh month.

And that could only mean one thing.

Cold sweat formed at his forehead and everything went blank as the realisation, all else was deleted from his brain and he felt so helpless as reality stabbed him right in his already broken heart. 

He just sent his own children to the arena.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: The sacred Truth

July 3rd Before the 65th reaping,  District Twelve, Victor’s Village, Haymitch’s House.

Warm morning light flooded the room, The dreamy and awkwardly foreign song of chirping birds in the background was… oddly calming. What was even more odd - other then the fact that he was woken up by that sort of scenery and not by another gut ranching nightmare of his own fertile imagination - was the light rain of kisses Effie was planting on his face. It was making him all warm inside, causing him hum in contentment.

That was a Giveaway that he was in-fact awake, making Effie giggled in satisfaction as she whispered in his ear “Sorry to wake you darling, I need to go to…” 

Haymitch felt her steering in his arms, but before she could finish the sentence and leave him, he instinctively tightened his hold on her.

“Don’t go” he murmured in desperation. He felt another set of kisses dropping on his temple “I just need to use the restroom - I’ll be back before you know it, okey?” For a brief second he considered just to carry her up there, so he wouldn’t have to let her go just yet - But then he opened up his eyes to look at hers.

One could get lost in her eyes ,not just in the colour - that they were unlike anything he had ever seen before; But when Haymitch held on to her gaze, he felt a sense of security and reassurance he almost forgot existed.

As if there was still good left in this world.

When she looked at him like that, it made him realise that he should probably let her go, otherwise she might think he is very desperate - which was an unusual feeling for him. Over the years she saw him in his worst and each time he seemed to be in an even more desperate state - full of primal need for human connection. Desperate for… her. 

For the only one who seemed to care.

It happened more times then he could count, more times then he would have liked.

When she looked at him like that, he didn’t want her to bother herself for him. When she looked at him like that, it made him want to be for her everything that she embodied in his mind.    

Haymitch released her from his embrace, but moved his hands up to cup her face gently “fine; but remember, I’m waiting right here.” He pulled her into what was supposed to be a quick pack but once Effie’s tongue entered his mouth he was lost and there was nothing else he could do but dance along with her in this mesmerise haze.

The concept of time seemed absent in this encounter between them, so Haymitch had no idea how much time had past when Effie released herself from their entanglement, giving him one final kiss on the bridge of his nose before getting up from the bed, putting on one of his old shirts and making her way to the attached bathroom.

Damn, if he thought she looked good in her ridiculous and over the top outfits, in her bare state as she was here is his room, revealing herself for his eyes only - she was as brilliant as sunshine itself. 

He covered his eyes with his arm and groaned in frustration when he felt the hardness in between his legs pulsing in need, all prepared for tryst number whatever, just at the mere sight of her long ivory legs.

As a result, an ear to ear grin was plastered on his face almost instinctively as he heard the creaking of the mattress benighted him. “Haymitch Abernathy, you better not be falling asleep on me” Effie warned, her voice filled with teasing and fondness as she peeled his arm from his face, intertwining her hand into his and resumed their make out session.

“You weren’t here, what else was I supposed to do? When you are not here, bright and early, to… boss me around?” Haymitch teased in between kisses.

He could literally feel Effie’s lips grinning on top of his “you do whatever you want, regardless if i’m here to boss you around or not, but it’s nice of you to appreciate my efforts.” 

She kissed the corner of his mouth and played with his hair, sending pleasant shivering down his spine before her finger traced the invisible Outlines of his face.

“I’ve never met anyone with eyes like yours before” her voice was filled with curiosity that caught him of guard, making him blush a little.

“Most of the people I know have them, it’s not that deep.” And it really wasn’t - most of the people of district twelve had this colour, which they got for their mother and father who had those eyes and so on and so forth. 

The rarity was anything other then grey. 

“Well, they do have the colour But… your eyes are just so…  they are… bright. Like the beautiful force of an incandescent storm.” Effie said while still tracing his brow bone with her delicate manicured thumb, following the road to cup his cheek, making Haymitch suck in air more urgently then a normal person in a normal situation would.

He felt like he was high on the best substance in town, but he also knew she could feel how fast his heart was beating in his chest, making him want to try and deflect the abnormal haze Effie caused him to enter, so he won’t embarrass himself even more then he already did.

“Are you high or something? If so I want some of that too, it’s seem to have a really nice effect on the mind” He said smugly, rocking his so called famous grin, knowing what reaction it will bring out of her “You know how kin I am about a good substance.”

Just as he expected, Effie gasped in shock, lifted herself off of him and smacked his left bicep “Oh you have to ruin everything, aren’t you?” She said as she shook her head from side to side, chuckling in disbelief.

“Somebody have to be accountable to when you start talking like a dictionary, I worry you would be misunderstood - most of the people in that city of yours aren't that smart.” Haymitch teased, avoiding her question.

She rose up from the bed, walked in the direction of the attached bathroom, before stopping, Turning back, pointing an accusing finger at him while her face plastered a smile he knew she couldn’t keep to herself. “One day you will learn to except the fact that the way that I see you is the absolute truth.” They were looking at each other face to face, so close he could see the intricate pattern of colours that created the mesmerising blue of her eyes.

“One day I’ll make sure you understand  how beautiful you are. So beautiful in fact, that no one I’ve ever known could have  reach to a colour similar to what you carry - natural or artificial, because non of them could ever reach to your level.”

How does she do it? How can she come up with the most beautifully complex descriptions that are clearly not a reflection of the truth? He couldn’t deny he was touch very deeply by that, so much so he let himself except her adulation for just one second.

Just one, maybe two.

Regardless of that, he was indeed grateful, but the only thing that came out of mouth was another tease seasoned with a pinch of avoidance.

“Great aunt Messalina didn’t teach you that one shouldn’t throw their problems at other people? I mean it’s not everyday people have you to compete against, it’s rude to assume as such.” 

Effie crossed her arms, lifted her eyebrow and eyed him “oh honey, Judging by your growing member - I moved to compete in a completely different field.”

And that was the exact moment when she chose to remove the oversized shirt, resuming her way to the bathroom naked as the day she was born, not granting his cock neither grace or mercy.

“Im going to take a shower and… start practicing on my new moves, father didn’t raise a slacker after all.” Her voice was innocently soft, but she radiated anything but innocence - she knew what she was doing to him - and had fun while she did.

Oh, she was out of this world.

She reach the threshold when she spoke again “You can join me if you want, as long as you can keep up.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

In a flash, they found themselves under the flowing water, touching and kissing and caressing each other, taking everything in as if there was no tomorrow. 

He found that particular spot in the crook of her neck, planting kisses and small bites on the sensitive area, making her moan involuntary.

Haymitch decided at that moment that he was gonna dominate this field, he wanted her panting and moaning and screaming his name, cheering him on his journey to pleasure her.  

What she doesn’t know, is that he too has learned some new tricks since their first time - some he had yet to show her, or try on her.

“Haymitch, what are you - OH!” She moaned as he moved down to her breasts, kissing and nibbling on her nipple while fondle the other breast with his callused hand.

“Hush, I’m trying to dominating this field” he didn’t want her to shut up - not in this scenario anyway - but the thought of him making her moan even though she was trying not to, thrilled him to the point of being insufferable.

He kissed his way down to her lower belly, making sure he wasn’t crossing the line to his final destination just yet. He gave love to that beautiful part of her, while simultaneously grabbing her ass, teasing the liminal space between her legs. 

“Haymitch…”

“What is it, princess?” He asked with fake oblivion.

“I… oh!, I need… I need” she tried to speak, but she was in too deep. Haymitch wasn’t about to make it easier for her though - he wanted to hear exactly what she had to say.

“What do you need, princess? I need you to hear you say it” he said and kissed her even lower down her belly to reminded her “otherwise I can’t help you.”

“Oh, you basterd!” A jolt of pleasure made her lift her hips “I need you in me Haymitch, Please!” Effie pleaded as quickly as she could in between her sighs of pleasure.

Haymitch chucked in joyful satisfaction and kissed her inner tight “Your wish is my commend - but we have to get you ready first.” Before Effie could process his answer, me buried his face in between her legs, licked and nibbled, taking her whole - making her scream and bury her hands in his hair to keep him exactly where he was.

He will never admit it to the outside world, but There was no place he’s rather be -  then right here, with her, inside her.

The presidential mansion, Conference room two.

The conference room was silent as death, the air so thick that even a million knifes could not cut through it, as if the universe itself tries to comprehending this surreal nightmare that literally screamed at him ,forcing Haymitch to stay awake and alerted - just like he deserved.

Haymitch had endured years of self-hatred and unknowingly prepared the ground for the day when he would have to face the wrath of the world and please guilty for his failures. 

Surprise hit him when he first knew about the kids existence. An abnormal sense of  warmth spreader through him as he got to know them, care for them and have them reciprocate and double everything back to him.

All of those were so big and substantial, it overwhelmed him in the best way possible. 

Now in the other hand, it was all shadowed by the incredible dread that sank heavily in Haymitch’s heart as he realised the kids were his.

Hit kids were the only thing that mattered -

They were The only thing he saw, the only thing at that world he was able to focus on.

His.

He was their father; with the boy’s eyes and him having a twin - it was clear as day.

Effie told him herself, all those years ago that she had never met anyone with eyes like this, like his - artificial or not.

His ears filled with a long, sharp monotone sound while all else became background noise to the magic his eyes chose to focus on. He looked at Jannaeus’s eyes without his glasses protection, the familiar seam grey penetrated through him with rage.

Their first meeting came to his mind - the children their quest to get to their mother, he was on a quest to stop them because of the boy's eerie resemblance to his brother.

He thought they were mutts, created just for him, to hunt him in the world of the living. 

But to realisation that those two truly brilliant children are his family made his mind spiral.

Many years ago he flipped through one of the books he got Lenore dove from the hob. It had this one line that talked about the idea that a person’s eyes are the windows to once soul. It went something like ‘Just as the face is the image of the soul, the eyes are the ones to reveal it’.

Eyes don’t lie, but people do.

That saying came from Effie though, when  she instinctively confirmed Peeta's crush on Katniss was not just for the cameras, claiming that she can see it in his eyes, “and even if Katniss wasn’t aware of it” she added “I can see it in her eyes too.”

But since eyes did not lie - Effie was the one to lie to him, hiding that small little anecdote that she was a mother in the first place - which was she never had to share even if it pained him that she didn’t.

But her children were also his, why didn’t she…

He didn’t want to think of the possibility that Effie didn’t trust him enough with the information, that she didn't even think to give him just one hint about the existence of his children - so he tried to keep his vision on what was right in front of him.

And right now, in Jannaeus eyes, free from the glasses that adorned his face for the two weeks he has known him, Haymitch saw an in entire universe of possibilities - blissfully good and enormously gruesome - in his eyes he saw the seem, his childhood, his innocence that was taken away from him.

Haymitch could see it now, how every hope and anticipation of what life might lead then, now began to fade from his children eyes as their fate being sealed - because of their mother and by their own father.

A feeling of Mourning washed over, even though the realisation that these were his children had struck him seconds earlier, when he didn’t even realised he had something to lose.

Those two… oh they were so beautiful.

Not beautiful like his arena, which was overwhelmingly grotesquely beautiful to the point of nausea. The beauty of his children was quiet and calm and incandescent, as this little dance a small flame burning on the wick of a candle.

They were so beautiful he couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t breathe.

Haymitch held the back of his chair while moving his hand to his chest, breathing as hard and fast as he could, attempting to scavenge as much air as he could, trying to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. the pain was excruciating, it felt as if death was upon him.

And if that’s the case, the only thing he wanted to do was to see Helena and Jannaeus one more time before he goes.

So he did just that, the terrified look on their faces turned his already broken heart into dust.

I can make you laugh again; I did that before! The thought came to him in a wave of desperation. He could make that look on their faces disappear, if they just gave him the chance to…

Suddenly they averted their gaze away from him and ran out of the room.

No, don’t go… please don’t go! I'm so so sorry, please let me explain! Don’t give up on me just yet!

Haymitch wanted to go after them, but someone - Peeta - grabbed him from the back forcing him to sit down, He’s began thrusting and screaming, fighting to free himself from the force that has glued him to the chair.

He is their goddamn father - it’s his responsibility to keep them safe, Even if they were angry with him and never wanted to talk to him ever again. And even if he was just a shell of a man, a lame excuse for a role model - that was still his right and duty as their father.

But then he felt someone putting their hand on his cheek, making his body relax in an instant, his nose picking up on the oh so familiar essence of honey and lavender.

Effie.

“Haymitch, look at me… please look at me” she asked so he did, finding himself being mesmerised by her eyes, the same colour  he realised she passed on to Helena - to his daughter. “I need you to take a big breath now, can you do that for me?” He nodded and inhaled and exhaled deeply, and then did it again until he felt like he wasn’t going to die anymore. Effie was watching him, stroking his checks gently, breathing alongside him just Like she always did. 

After his heart seemed to resume to normalcy, reality dawned on him.

Effie, Helena and Jannaeus were the best thing that had ever happened to him in his miserable existence. He craved for it all - the good, the bad, the inconvenience, the pain - if it meant that he would get to have them in his life - to play and tease and raise and love. And if Effie would want to - he carve for her to have him as… whatever she wished they would be.

But at this moment, it didn’t change the fact that he was furious, it didn’t change the fact that…

“You lied to me” he told her with a solemn whisper and a hint of anger, as he felt sure enough he wouldn’t chock on his own words. Effie’s pupils dilated moved from side to side in a trance, as if she was trying to digest the fact that Haymitch knows now that he is the children's father.

Haymitch wanted - needed her to realise that he capable to be a father, he needed her to know that he wanted to be a part in their lives, he needed to be significant part of it.

No more funny uncle placement for him.

He wanted them to know he was their father, that he would be their father always and that he loved them with all his heart - even before knowing that they were his and that even if he wasn’t there - he would he would carry that title with pride.

But before Effie could react to Haymitch's discovering this information about their kids, a voice came from behind her “So those are Mister Heavensbee’s protégés I've heard so much about.”

As Coin spoke, Effie's eyes widened in shock and fear, and her grip on his face tightened so much that he could feel her heartbeat increasing, the same as his own.

Shit, shit, shit.

“And I assume that they are your children - am I in the right Miss Trinket?” Coin smugly asked, Like a poisons snake she threatened her prey - their children - as if she already figured out the answer. 

Both Haymitch and Effie knew the underline meaning question meant, especially after the subject of this victor assumably. 

Effie released her hold of his face and giving him a look that he known she had when she was very very determent, he  nodded as give her a green light.

That if she wanted to kill that woman right now, he would help her burn the body.

“Yes madam president, I’m their mother.” Effie’s words, even if polite, had a flat and unapologetic tone to it - she wasn’t looking to Impress her like she did with sponsors, she was there to protect their children.

“And How old are they? They seemed quite young.” What she was trying to ask was if the are eligible to participate in the symbolic spectacle of a hunger game she plans. From Coin’s perspective - the children of the only living escort are for sure would be marvellous.

She haven’t figured out that he was also related to them. He should just say it and stop this fucking fiasco of Coin threatening his family.

Coin was just the snake with a different attire, threatening to kill children or anyone she that fancy here In order to preserve her power - nothing really changed.

But Effie’s hand that was still rested on his shoulder, squeezed it lightly, letting him know it wasn’t the time just yet.

“They will be celebrating their tenth birthday on march” Said Effie.

Coin hard glare gave Haymitch an Infinite amount of stupefaction, even she knows that she cannot stretch the seventy five years of rules and Conventions just because she wants to - it would be too much at one go and it’s not a smart move if she wants to establish herself as the leader of the new Panem.

“Hum…They are a bit young for this game season, but as for the future… who knows, right?” 

Oh, She was a dead woman.

“So I would appreciate that if in the future you children will approve their behaviour towards authority - otherwise there will be consequences, am I clear Miss Trinket?”

“Crystal.”

Coin gave Effie a smile that sanded chills down Haymitch’s spine. “Good. And now that the victors made up their mind about the future of the hunger games, wall of us should return to our duties. As you know we have a tight schedule to follow, I would expect nothing but the absolute most punctual timing and accuracy from a professional such as yourself.”

Effie nodded and said flatly “of course, madam president.” 

The clicking of Coin’s heeled boots were the only sound that echoed in the room as she walked away to do whatever.

“Come on, Katniss! You’ve heard our dear president - we have a big big big day ahead of us!” Effie said in her usual cheer as she lead Katniss to the conference room’s door.

What the hell was she doing?

Her complete disregard for what had just happened, her complete disregard for him and the truth she had hidden from him, infuriated him in such a way that he couldn't even begin to explain. He grabbed her wrist before she managed to escape.

“I think you still owe me a fucking explanations, Effie” anger dripping from his voice “when in the name of Panem did you think of…”

“We’ll talk about this later” Effie cut him of.

Haymitch was having non of it “Oh hell no! After what you did…”

“After what you just did - I think we are even on that regard! I won’t talk about this here with audience - I don’t owe anyone an encore.” Effie yelled, maybe for the first time in her life.

She took a deep breath in, tried to calm down, and closed the conversation with a whisper in his ear “be at out room in two hours, I’ll explain everything and answer every question you have - I promise.”

He wasn’t sure he trusted any words that came out of her mouth, but he knew the best course of action would be let her go so she could do her job and by that deflecting Coin from her back as much as possible and as a consequence - from their kids.

“Looking forward to it” haymitch said bitterly as he jerked of her wrist from his hold and watch her lead Katniss out of the room.  

“So… troubles in heaven, Abernathy?” Johanna asked in a teasing tone that seemed almost fake in contrast to the serious look players in her face.

With everything that happened - the fact that there were also other people in that fucking room evaporated from his mind.He groaned in frustration - now he would have to explain to a room full of victors what the hell just happend instead getting the truth he deserved to know - great, just fucking great.

He guessed that was what Effie ment about giving an encore.

——

Katniss walked behind Effie and she wondered - among other questions regarding what happened in the conference room - how that woman was able to walk so fast with such determination in those awful pointy shoes without falling over herself. But she kept her mouth shut - her hunting experience taught her not to disrupt a female mama bear protecting her cubs.

So she followed Effie down the stairs towards an area of the mansion she never been to before and Effie stopped abruptly before one random room while turning to face her. If looks could kill - Katniss would have died on the spot. 

“Katniss dear, before we enter, I need you to tell me what the in the name of Panem happened during that meeting.” Effie looked from side to side, assessing their surrounding before whispering “explain it as vaguely as you can.”

“Coin wanted all the victors to vote on a symbolic hunger games with Capitol children” Katniss whispered back.

Effie let out a cynical sneer “well, I figured that much, but what surprised me is that this absurd preposition has been approved - not with this particular group of victors, anyway.” She maintained a reminiscent of composure, even though by the tone of her voice - she was seething with nerves - and Katniss could understand why. 

Katniss thought about the kids - which apparently were Effie’s, how she really didn’t want to send them - or any other child for that matter - into the arena. It pained her to admit that she had a part of this, but she needs to admit that she did and why she did it.

It might just solve every problem they had.

“Effie, if I had known I would try and exclude…” but Effie held her hand up, cutting her off. “No need to Apologise, dear. You are not the one who is arranged this absurd of a proposal. Besides, you are not the one I’m displeased with - To put it mildly.”

Okay, that’s good then. For her.

For some reason, she knows that the one she is displeased with is Haymitch - so apparently is wasn’t good for him. 

But still, Katniss felt like she had to explain herself “It’s just, after I spoke with Snow earlier today, I…” at that very second, Effie jolted her gaze towards her in disbelief.

“What do you mean you spoke with Snow? Why did you went to the greenhouse for anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter, the point it he said he wasn’t the one to kill Prim. I didn’t believe him at first, but then I remembered a weapon Beetee and Gale made… that used the same logic as the attack that killed Prim. And when Coin proposed the symbolic hunger games I figured that she was in fact the one to do it and after all the death and all the sacrifice - nothing had changed. So I…”

Effie stood in front of her in silence, letting her finish her explanation “I needed to find a way to gain her trust.”     

At this moment of time, the truth was the most important thing since she had put both Effie and Haymitch - with what happened to him after the kids speech - in an impossible position, it was necessary for her plan to work.

Effie nodded, Her face was adorned with a solemn and serious look. “I assumed there was more to it, but I believe it is a good enough of an answer, for now” she said before knocking the grand wooden door rhythmically “so I think it would be only appropriate for me to introduce you.”

The door was opened suddenly two small figures jumped on Effie, wrapping their little arms around her waist. Effie Indulged them for exactly one second before she ushered Quickly ushered them all inside the room.

The room was similar to the one she was assigned to, aside from the pile of books that stood tall in one corner. A voice made her turn around 

“Why she’s here?” The question came from the girl - Effie’s kid “you voted yes - get out!” Said the boy this time, both of them Clinging to their mother's legs. 

“Cut it out” Effie said firmly, making the kids flinch a little, as if they are not use to her being aggressive. “Now, remember your manners and intrudes yourself.”

They looked at their mother as if she grew another hand “but mom, you don’t understand…” 

Effie cut them out before they were able to even start their complaints “I understand just fine my loves, we will each have time to explain everything but not before we get  Acquainted with each other.”

The kids Reluctantly got closer to her, holding their arms in order to shake her hand. “Im Helena and this is my brother Jannaeus, it’s nice to meet you Miss Katniss.” She shook their hand back “just Katniss is fine” but the kids didn’t seem to care when they walked back to sit next to their mom, who moved to sit in the little sitting area next to a big window.

As they all were Seated, Effie resumed their conversation from outside “Now that we are all acquainted with one another - I need you three to tell me what happened in there, word for word, every little thing that you can remember.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: The Reckoning

The tributes Centre, District Twelve’s Penthouse, the 55th hunger game

“Well, here we go again” Haymitch slurred as he raised his bourbon filled glass to the air in the air in a salut of sort, before swallowing the entire thing in a loud gulp.

“Here we go again? Are you out of your mind?” By now, Effie was used to his bitter and sarcastic comments, that usually were saved for when he was in company of those he valued to trustworthy.

But she couldn’t handle that today.  

After four years of their tributes were brutally died in the arena, not even getting the chance of surviving the blood bath. 

Each and every one of those children had, a personality, a dream, a wish that Effie should have learned to ignore by now, not if she wanted to keep the little she had of her sanity.

She wasn’t quite there just yet as she hoped to be - not when the memory of their twelve year old Lily tasting chocolate for the first time and the moment sixteen year Glenn shared hopes to come back home to see his sister give birth, still running through her mind in limbo of guilt.

Maybe that’s why she felt the need to put Haymitch in his place - or in her place - she wasn't sure which one.

“Well if happened once and it will happened again - let’s face it princess, the chances of district twelve ever having another victors are non existent, so what’s the damn point in all this? This is going to happened every year so we might as well just get used to it!” Haymitch spit out his bitterness as he filled his lowball with a double.

If judging by the bitterness, He wasn’t that drunk, but it still didn’t stop her from taking  the glass from his hands. “They sacrificed their lives and thats all you could say? What is wrong with you!?”

Haymitch only laughed, which left her shocked enough for him to be able to take his glass back, His face hardened as he spoke. “Really? After those four years you still see it that way? It was appreciated the first time but it’s getting fucking old.”

Did she think the hunger games were for the greater good? Not anymore, not really. But she couldn’t utter it, not in the penthouse where they might be listened to.

But that wasn’t the point she tried to make and he knew it. Haymitch knew exactly what he was asking and even though Effie knew what Haymitch expected her to answer - more so what she was expected to answer to uphold her image - she somehow wasn’t able to resist to answer what she truly thought about his behavior.

“They deserved more then just your bourbon glass and a bitter afterthought and you know it.” Effie whispered, knowing what she said crossed the line too, but not as what she really thinks.

His face soften just a little bit, as if he too had words on the tip of his tongue he couldn’t utter “I know” he whispered back “but, this is all I could offer them, tears and grieving won’t bring them back, they won’t bring any of our tributes back home - because he won’t allow a fluke like my victory to ever happen again - so no matter how much those kids are cute or brave or smart - it wouldn’t change their outcome.” 

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever, as if challenging one another to admit that they were wrong. But the only thing that they could see is their shared understanding, sorrow and griff for the cruel and impossible role that fate worked overtime so that they would find themselves sharing.

The presidential mansion, Effie, Helena and Jannaeus’s room.

"Capitol mutts – all of you! You try to keep me away from my family! I won't let you! I won't!"

"You used me! You will never have a hold of me; the Capitol will never have a hold of me – not anymore!"

"You lied to me you Capitol scum! But I didn't fall into the trap of the Trinket girl."

Haymitch’s words echoed in Effie’s head as she paced back and forth in her room.

He never really said that to you, even drunk as a skunk. she had to keep remaining herself, that was a cruel made up statements of her own head’s creation, just a nightmare.

Not real.

But she did lie to him and he did in fact told her as such, his face full of agony and betrayal and she regretted not to tell him before she left the room. 

It wasn’t supposed go like that, she had a schedule, she was usually good with organization and anticipating the problems before they become an inconvenience, adjusting the outcome to her benefit and the wanted outcome.

Maybe Snow did managed to take that away from me.

The word “mess” wasn’t enough to describe what troubles they just got into - firstly, the fact that her children knew about Haymitch being their father, which they claimed that they only suspected of that fact - because of Haymitch’s eyes and the fact that he gave her some nicknames over the years.

She didn’t knew if she would be proud to have such smart children or be baffled with how can they, who always stack to facts, draw a conclusion from only one and a half  piece of evidence? If she could even call Helena’s proof an evidence.

“This is the covey for you - idealistic to the point temptation. Those girls… are addicting, tantalising, almost inspiring. Did you really believe he cares? Haymitch will follow his covey girl to his grave… you don’t really believe that he would ever come to save you? a girl like that… he wouldn’t give up on fruitless revolution for a whore… especially not a Trinket whore.”

Shut up, shut up! Stop bringing this up! This is irrelevant, utterly irrelevant! It doesn’t matter if Haymitch doesn’t care for her like he cares Lenore Dove, how much Haymitch was captivated by his girl’s beauty or talent or whatever magic she possessed by belonging to this covey Snow mentioned. At the bottom line, it didn’t change the most important thing - that Helena and Jannaeus and their family's integrity and their safety come first. 

Effie took one deep breath and the another, and another, and another, but it didn’t stop the choke of tears coming up her throat.

For fuck sake control yourself, he’ll Be here any minutes and now you know it was just a misunderstanding, or an overestimation - depending on how you chose to look at it.

Her initial thought as she went off schedule was to bring Katniss to their room as some sort of insurance - as much as her relationship with Katniss is not that close, Effie knew that katniss wouldn’t let anyone hurt the children in front of her.

But there were also some clarifications she needed to understand as to what in the name of Panem happened.

Apparently, the brilliant idea was Coin’s and she made the victors “give their unanimous blessing” in a form of a vote.

Very considerate of her, it made Effie want to vomit.

Katniss, who figured out that nothing would change unless she’d do something - voted yes, just to get this one change of getting on her good side. “Im going to kill her” she whispered in Effie’s ear after the gossiping bunch that was her prep team finished to get her ready. 

Effie didn’t want to admit how those news released something inside her, gave her a small, fragile moment of relief, allowing her a moment she could breathe and think clearly.

To think if Haymitch knew any of it before he knew what he voted for.

She’ll have to face that what he comes, if he comes. No he will come, somehow she had no doubt that Haymitch wouldn’t just throw a chance away when it comes to his family.

From what she managed to gather from Katniss in the limited time that they had, in between her prep and the children’s endless amount of questions, for her and for Katniss alike - was that Haymitch was never told and probably went along with Katniss because he did somehow understood what she was trying to do.

Apparently, He was the first to be appalled from the idea. Apparently, surly, he didn’t really want another Hunger games.

If she was honest with herself - She didn’t know what to think.

The children fallen asleep, they were exhausted from the extreme high and low of the day as they went from giving a fiery speech challenging the president's authority to trying and establish a connection with Katniss, As if they did not just entered themselves into a complex political mess.

Katniss surprisingly accommodated their nagging - they kept asking her random questions about every thing they could have came up with, after they wanted to kick her out just a second before.

They also kept asking her about Haymitch, while stating the information that he is their father.

The surprise on Katniss’s and the prep team’s face would have been priceless, if Effie didn’t dreaded from the moment she had to face him, in the worst outcome she could have imagined.

In that exact moment, There was a heavy knock on the door.

It’s just the beginning, it’s not an ending, Haymitch doesn’t hate you, he loves the children, Haymitch is a good man - you know he his. 

He deserved this chance of future, and so do the children, it’s something that is worth to be brave for.

So she walked toward the door, took two deep breaths in to brace herself, opening it - peppering herself to face the music.

——

Haymitch crossed the hallway on a path that had become comforting and familiar on the way to Effie's room, only now every step he took Brought him closer and closer, he felt as scared and heavy as if he was buried alive under a collapsed mine, suffocating him while being buried alive.

Not just because of the guilt he felt as he open the ember liquor bottle and broke his sobriety. And not just because of the guilt he felt as He decided the fate of his children. 

When Effie left the room, leaving him alone to explain to the other victors in the room 

what the hell had happened, without providing any explanations of her own, the helplessness overwhelmed him like the day of his victory interview, when he saw the covey girly, the one he suspected to be a victor of District Twelve, playing a familiar tune on the television - alongside young president Snow.

He tried to compose himself as Peeta and Beetee speculated about his kids, giving away some anecdotes they’ve collected along the way, as the figured he didn’t really have anything to contribute to the conversation. Beetee shared some information about Jannaeus’s glasses which Haymitch wasn’t paying much attention to, while Peeta said something about vaguely remembering Effie saying the kids names once while in captivity, which Haymitch fought to ignore as felt he couldn’t really cope with that too, on top of the main issue.

They were talking about his own kids, his own family - making him bare the position of knowing absolutely nothing, Hence there was nothing he could do about it other than wait those two agonising hours until Effie would generously grant him a fucking well deserved explanation.

The victors kept talking over his head, debating on the nature of it all, what will happened now in regards to the capitol hunger games.

״Those two are related to a victor, we have no idea how many cross brith between Capitol and district there is, should they be considered to?” 

“This whole things is wrong! And the fact that even capitol children, who never shared our experience, could see it better than a room full of victors!”

“What a loss, they were so sweet when I helped them look for books the other day.”

“Well, the vote was casted - there is nothing we could do.”

Haymitch couldn’t take it anymore.

He fled the conference room without giving any explanation. Somehow he found the way to his own room, which he barely recognised because he haven’t slept in there in the past three days. He leaned against the wall, gulping heavily and desperately from the Liquor bottle he clenched in his hand.

That how Katniss found him, as she entered his room all dressed up in her mockingjay outfit, all prepped for the main event in the outside world, which was still moving outside of his miserable existence. 

Apparently Effie rearranged the schedule to have the execution moved later in the day - the higher ups were giving the excuse that the harsh sun would ruin the president’s new hairdo - so Katniss had a few moments to explain to him what he already suspected before this disaster - That Katniss wanted to kill Coin because of what happened to Primrose, as she probably realised that she might be the responsible for the bombing, as she was the one to make the symbolic hunger games proposal.

When he heard about what happened, he too recognised the pattern of the plan Beetee and Gale proposed a few mouths ago and he had his own suspicions and when Katniss conformed it to be true - it all made sense in his head again.

But when he figured out that his own kids were trying to put him in his place - from their perspective for all the right reasons - it overwhelmed him to the point of madness, brining him back to his homecoming after the games, where he found himself repeating the same fucking mistake twice - and tie the knot of the noose on his family’s neck once more.

As he reached to their door, he prayed to whoever is listening that the kids wouldn’t hate him for what he did, that they would understand that he would have never agree to it if he thought it was actually going to happened - even if he wouldn’t have figure out about his fatherhood.

I loved you before I knew you were mine, I loved you because I love your mother and

hope you will understand why I did what I did. 

Would their forgiveness be too big of a thing to ask?

He braced himself as He knocked on the door and Effie opened quicker then he hoped for, leaving him no time to run away. She let him in, her face stoic, her eyes turned in the direction of the bed, one finger was pressed to her lips - an indication to the glorious sight of Helena and Jannaeus sleeping safe and sound in, still dressed in formal attire for the ceremony.

Just the sight of them made breathing feel so much easier. Assuring him that he made the right choice by coming. 

The sound of the door locking startled him for a moment, making him turn towards Effie, who moved her head in the general direction of the bathroom, signalling him to follow her.

He had to force his legs to move, removing his gaze that he didn’t even noticed was back on his kids, even if every cell in his body scream at him not to. Every cell in his body - other the his logical mind, who knew that for this moment in time Coin has more urgent matters to deal with then two impulsive - and in his opinion, full of spunk - nine year olds.

His family was safe.

Or would be in a few hours, when Katniss’s plan of killing Coin will come to fruition.

Both him and Effie stood in the large bathroom, facing one another. To anyone else Effie would have looked as she did Any other day - bright, composted, in top shape. But the past twenty five years taught him otherwise - Haymitch could tell that her posture was too tight, so was the way she held her hands together as if to stabilise herself.

He suddenly realised that this whole thing was a big deal for her as much as it was for him, since other then telling him the truth - which he was still angry about - she never pushed him out, never told him to back off, even after everything she went through in prison. 

She could have decided that he wasn’t trustworthy anymore to even get to know them, that he wouldn’t be able to protect them.

But Effie gave him that chance; so he should approach this conversation with cautious, give her the chance to explain herself too.

He should at least try, even if the feeling of insult still bubbled in his stomach.

“So…” Effie spoke with hastiest anger “I think we both have a lot of explanation to do.”

It made him chuckle cynically “thats an understatement if I ever heard one.”

Effie took a deep breath “I guess we should start with the most urgent threat - what in the name of Panem happened in that meeting? Katniss did give her side of the story, but I would like to hear what you have to say, especially since this is the explanation you will give to our children.”

Our children.

It was the first time he heard her confirmed what he already knew, it filled his heart with unexpected warmth. The fact that she somehow, subconsciously acknowledges this gives him some hope.

He explained about the unbelievable proposal Coin made, about the way she wanted to make sure the decision and the stain would fall on the victors to solve the government disagreement by making them vote on the spot.

“So, how come you ended up voting yes to this ‘unbelievable’ proposal?” Effie asked in a quite, threatening voice. “What went through your mind?”

He took one deep breath and then another.

“When all the other victors asked their votes, it made sense why each and every one of them voted the way they did - Johanna and Enobaria were acting on their need for revenge, Peeta and Annie thought this wasn’t the right way to enforce justice and Beetee thought we should leave the Capitol and the district as enemies in the past.”

He paused for a moment, but Effie encouraged him to carry on, signaling she was still here with him.

“Before Katniss casted her vote, she requested to be the one to kill Snow” that statement caused Effie to frown and ask “but I thought that this was already arranged, I wasn’t aware of any changes in the planning.”

“Exactly. So then she voted yes it seemed out of character for her - katniss is a hunter, she is not killing for the hell of it. So why would she agree to kill children, even if they are from the Capitol, for something symbolic? Katniss is not like that.”

Effie nodded in agreement “right.”

“But when she said she is voted yes for Prim, I knew she had a palms under her belt, but I didn’t knew what. When it came my time to vote, she looked at me with such urge to understand what she was trying to do, and somehow, like always - I did.” Haymitch said the last sentence in almost a whisper, he didn’t digest the out come of his deception just yet. “So I said Im with the mockingjay - the symbol of the revolution, who it’s main goal was to make sure there wouldn’t be another sun rising in another reaping.” 

“So… what you actually voted for was…”

He grabbed Effie’s hand before she could finish her question and whispered in her ear “I voted ‘yes’ to give Katniss a closer access to Coin so she could stop this woman’s madness once and for all - like hell I would let that woman or anyone else hurt our children.”

Effie choked on her tears and covered her mouth. When he stepped away from her ear, he could see that her face wore an expression of relief, before she quickly compost herself.

“I understand now, thank you for… being honest with me. It’s important for us to be honest with eachother.”

You deserve that and more, Sunshine.

But right now, it’s your time to spill some truth into the mix.

“You have some stuff to be honest about too” it came out a bit more impatient then he would have liked, but it did reflect how he felt in that moment - like he doesn’t have a fucking moment to waist.

“What do you want to know?” Effie asked, letting him lead the conversation, just as he let her lead earlier.

He had an over whelming about of questions spiralling in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help himself as he thrown them at her all at once. 

“We’re you even planning on tell me? Or you were that angry with me about what happened to you in prison, that you chose to punish me by keeping them away from me?”

Her beautiful face filled with sorrow and shock “No! Haymitch that was never my intention to hide them from you!”

“I know I’m a drunken piece of shit, that I’m fucked up in all the wrong ways - but they are mine, Effie! They are they only family I have, I deserved to know my own children!”

“Ive never had any intention to keep you at bay

“What was you intention then?” The frustration and shame that was build inside of him spoke, since it was the only time he gave his feelings on this matter a place to express themselves. “What was you intention in keeping them at arms length for two weeks, letting me in but not telling me that I’m their father? If that wasn’t your intention - then what was is? When the hell did you plan to tell me about th…”

“Today.” Effie whispered weakly, a stray tear fell from her eye before she averted her gaze “I was planning to tell you today, actually.” 

That made Haymitch finally shut himself up, finally giving her a moment to speak. “and if you would have let me explain, you would understand everything.” 

Suddenly he wasn’t that angry anymore. 

So she didn’t try to Hide that from him - good. But he figured he would have come to this conclusion without acting all feral. He should stick to his original plan - for both of their sakes. He reached his hand to cup her face “Sorry Eff, it’s just… this whole thing… it’s…”

His heart flattered as she leaned into his hand and used her own hand to keep him where he was. “I know, I’m scared too” She said quietly.

“Of…me?” He asked, puzzled.

She shook her head and smiled at him “No, never. This is just… I’ve never thought I’d get the chance to tell you the truth without it putting us all on the spotlight. My instincts are still… alerted by the potential bad outcomes.” 

And then it clicked in his brain “of course you couldn’t tell me” Haymitch said full of sorrow “the danger they would have been in…” he didn’t want to picture it.

But today was a glimpse into what could have happened if the fact that they are his Children was delivered to Snow. 

“Everything I did - I did to protect them. The homeschooling, the glasses, keeping their connection to you hidden. I’ve even unwillingly involved Plutarch in their education so he would take care of them in times of need, but you all really know that.”

Oh he wanted to ask her about Plutrach’s  particular involvement in his children’s lives “Yeah about that Plutarch issue.”

The question made Effie wrinkle her eyebrows “what Plutarch issue?” 

“You making me believe that Plutarch was their father, while I was coming over every day playing the funny uncle part. Don’t get me wrong I had a blast, but… not gonna lie I was kinda bummed about it.”

He was expecting pity and comfort, instead she looked at him as if he grown another head with two sets of eyes.  

“What in the name of Panem are you talking about?” She asked, almost mockingly “I’ve never said Plutarch was their father, do you hear yourself? - this is absurd!” 

He felt the underline insult “You didn’t say otherwise! Besides, you told me about this little agreement you two had about them - about him giving you money so you’d be raising them without him having anything to do with them, other then having the accuse to brainwashing them with his abnormal magnificent amount of books. What was I supposed to understand other then him being the father?”

He was getting annoyed.

“Besides, I saw how close the two of you were back in the day at Finnick’s victory party and especially after…what we did, finding out about you are a mother , it made sense at the time. Also, the fact that you chose him to confide with - I knew you wouldn’t do it unless he was involved somehow.”

—————-

They were in the middle of a serious conversation that would be the foundation of their future as a family and all Effie could think about was how adorable this man was.

“Haymitch, did you really think I slept with Plutarch that night?” She couldn’t help herself by pouting gleefully.

He was fidgeting with shame as he deliver the obvious answer to that question “No, but…”

She shouldn’t torture him further, maybe thats why he was so agitated when it was time for him to ask questions, added to his clothes smelling like whiskey.

“The only reason he was even aware of the fact that I was pregnant was because during that party I fainted in his library and then vomited all over his carpet. Thats how I discovered I was with child In the first place.”

“You fainted?” His face grew concerned. 

“It’s was nothing, just a blood pressure issues because I wasn’t eating properly. I was a bit… nauseated, it’s a common side effect in pregnancy.” She explained, hoping it would calm him a little. 

“So that’s why your father was there.” Haymitch said, more a statement then a question.

Effie nodded “as you know he is a doctor and even though pregnancy is not his specialty, this whole thing needed to be kept under wraps. Besides he is my main medical provider, it seemed right to call him.

Haymitch nodded in understanding “so… who else knew? Other the Plutarch and you Pa?”

“Prosie knew since we used her name for the paper work for some disguise and also Finnick and Mags since they were also in the room when I fainted, but that’s it - nobody else knew. Finnick was very useful In helping us spread the rumours about a so called affair Plutarch and I had, just in case someone will discover my pregnancy.”

Haymitch looked like he had a million more questions to ask, but at that exact moment the bathroom door was opened by two of the most important people in her life.

“Mom?” They asked from the threshold, looking at Haymitch and her with their big pleading and curious look, as they probably stood behind the door, eavesdropping their conversation and waiting for the moment she would invite them to tell them the whole story. Haymitch suddenly removed his hand from her face and looked at her with the same pleading look as their children, a look that pleaded her to let him in.

How could she deny them this reunion? There would be more time to explain to the three of them the whole story, but right now - she knows that they need to be in each other’s arms.

“Go ahead” she whispered to them and Haymitch immediately went down to their level, opened his arms to his children, who started to bowl their eyes out as they run to their father embrace, buried their face in the crook of his neck.

Effie couldn’t hold the tears any longer herself, so she let them run, knowing she will a have little to no time to fix her makeup before the ceremony. But she did not care in the slightest.

Because this moment to her was a fulfilment of all her wildest dreams. This moment was the happiest she had ever been in her entire life.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: The Catharsis 

District Thirteen, living area XC50, quarter number 248

We’ve got no idea what happened to Effie Trinket.

We’ve got no idea what happened to Effie Trinket.

We’ve got no idea what happened to Effie Trinket.

Plutrach said it with so casually, as If Effie’s unknown state was just a military report. And with the other more urgent and imminent events on the line, he wouldn’t have expected any thing else - after facing the truth about why Peeta tried to kill katniss, how Snow injected him with tracker jacker’s venom and altered his thoughts. Only then, Haymitch was able to retire back to his compartment. Even  thought he knew the amount of evil that Snow possessed within him - but oh boy how wrong he was, cause that for sure proved otherwise.

Only when he landed on the lower bunk bed in his compartment he was able to understand the meaning or more accurately, understanding he could not comprehend Effie’s situation - how this kind of behaviour was surly inflicted upon Effie… that Snow would actually try to altar her mind? Or… something worst? Torture her, rape her…  No, no, no… the though of someone would treat Effie with anyway other then the upmost respect… not that he was kind to her most of the time but he would never…

He couldn’t take it.

As if he was looking at himself from the outside, he was aware of chairs and mugs and items of clothing flying and hitting the concrete walls, accompanied by screams of his own making, which only stopped when he felt his face were getting wet.

Haymitch collapsed to the ground, sinking Inside his own mess, crying like he haven’t cried for twenty five years as shame and regret rose in his chest - I should have told her everything , I should have taking her with me even if I had to drag her with force.

She will be saved, Haymitch swore to himself. He swore to himself he will do whatever it takes to keep her alive and well and safe, and he will never hide a thing from her - he would tell her how grateful he was, he will not leave her fending for herself again, he would tell her everything he was sure she would be able to cope with - which there wasn’t much Effie couldn’t handle.

As he fidgeted with the golden bangle on his wrist, He planned how he would  tell her how much she means to him and would make sure she knows that she was right - they were a team and he was willing to spend the rest of his life to prove that to her.

The square in front of the tribute’s centre, upper platform.

Effie tried to located Haymitch amongst the crowd of angry and frustrated capitol citizens who filled the square, get the chance of locking his gaze for some reassurance but was unsuccessful doing so. 

She gave a side eye towards the cornier of the platform where the children set and talked about something and began to play with the fringes on her dress, roll them between her gloved fingers as she tried to ease her own nerves.

What would have happened if they weren’t in thirteen during when the combat took place?

Effie never imagined she’d ever see her home looking like this - the city Destroyed, people who lost their homes walking around aimlessly with sunken hollow Eyes, dressed up in the most unfitted combinations just to keep warm, she was even seeing some people hide food in their sleeves and trying to hide it, as someone would try and take it away.

Her need of physical recovery kept her inside The mansion, had shuttered her from the truth eventful outside world and so did Haymitch, who never spoken to her about what happened while she was imprisoned, Other then the fact that he was put in isolation during his forced sobriety.

But now, she was aware that the state of the districts was bad all the same, not to mention the fact that district twelve was completely destroyed and even thought she was grateful for the safety of the children, Anger filled her stomach.

She finally saw the pattern Alma Coin follows - let the other deals with the dirty laundry outside of her lane, while her base stood strong, completely intact, Free from all harm, as if by some miracle willing to take on the management as if she were doing someone a favour.

And to think just half and hour ago, her heart was warm and content, the happiest she have ever been, as she was fortunate enough to witness her family finally getting a chance to be together.

That was life in the hunger games industry for you - moving on from one catharsis to the other, each one added is a catalyst to whatever disaster will come after.

All while You're supposed to smile and pretend that everything that's happening around you is a necessary evil and you are just a chess piece moved on the board one slot at a time.

Today’s main event might just the thing to put an end to this cycle. But maybe after it was all set and done, she and Haymitch could try and build something new together, something that is not tainted by the games, their shared and unshared misery - she knew they could be something more then what life forced them to be.

Effie even dared to play with the thought, the hope that Haymitch and her… could be an actual functioning family.

For the kids, obviously.

Because the conversation between Haymitch and her went on well. More then well even. The recent and relevant events were summarized and explained, enough to create a basic understanding in the short time they had before the ceremony. Haymitch and the children even had a few minutes to give each other their first real hug between a father and his children.

And Haymitch wasn’t as mad at her as she thought he would be, he was just overly emotional and a bit drunk, which she should have expected. He even raised concern about the time she passed out, but that wasn’t the first time he showed that he cared about her well being but this time it seemed to truly give him a fright.

She could feel his hand shakes as he Caressed her cheek. When he touched her cheek like that, Effie felt as if she could read his care through the warmth of his palms, as it send pleasant shivers down her spine. Oh, his hand felt so good, so warm, so reassuring. Effie instinctively caressed his own palm with hers, keeping it in place for as long as he would allow her to.

But she wouldn’t be so greedy to think of it as anything more then their twenty five years of friendship and bond, coming from a man who lost everyone who he ever cared about. Effie understood him now, even though she felt it before but couldn’t point a finger on it - how the moment you lose your loved ones is the moment when whatever else you gain moving forward would be the the most precious thing in your eyes.

Worth more then precious stones, or any amount of any currency, or any since of luxury.

She knew she was one of those precious things to him, otherwise he wouldn’t go for all this troubles to save her, otherwise he wouldn’t come visit her everyday and staying by her bedside ever before the children were even there.

And in her eyes, he wasn’t just one of the few precious people, the small group that Consisting of her beloveds - her love for him was… one of a kind, pure and unbiased. When he looked at her - she felt as if she was in a completely different world, but home all the same.

And yet, That did not mean they loved each other in the same way.

It didn’t mean that Haymitch was in love with her and she will never force him to be - she hated the look of desperation and she didn’t want to clash with him about irrelevant shit like that, not when they created two wonderful children who needs their parents and a stable family situation with parents who were on one mind about their well being.

She wouldn’t dare to risk it, not when it seemed like, by his insulted reaction to the bizarre idea of Plutarch being their father - that he actually wanted to be a part of their life, he wanted to be their father and carry that responsibility. she will not let a one sided ill fitted infatuation sabotage that chance of him having a living breathing family in his grasp for the first time in twenty five years and her children’s chance to have an actual father figure who doesn’t see them as a mean to an end.

Besides, a rejection from him in that regard is inevitable and She wouldn’t… she wasn’t sure she could support and stand from the side and accommodating the lose of the love of his life, while this pit of loneliness in her heart was remained empty.

She didn’t sleep well most nights since she is waking up with a jolt from gut wrenching nightmares, most of the times she does not have the privilege to scream them out since the children are sleeping with her on the same bed and she wouldn’t dare to wake them up.

It would sometimes takes her hours to fall back asleep, while she is trying to push the words Snow used to taunt her about how  Haymitch would always be loyal to Lenore dove, how he jeopardize her safety for Lenore dove’s finale request - which she wasn’t aware of until that moment. All that was accompanied by whipping, electrocutions and inappropriate gestures and name calling.

Having to face this again, this time said in Haymitch’s gentle apologetic voice, with his callous hand gently brushing her shoulder and a  ‘princess’ and an ‘Eff’ thrown into The conversation - would solidified it, load it with truth and would put the last nail on the coffin that Snow won her over, that he figured out the true nature of the connection she had with Haymitch but she was too blind and too stupid to see it as it was.

Effie felt Tears welled up in her eyes, but this was not the time nor the place.

Eyes bright, Chin up, smiles on!

Even if deep down all she wanted to remove every part of her attire, bury herself in the covers and sleep for like a month, or at least until a nightmare will wake her up violently.

“I’ve heard what happened in the conference room” Plutarch whispered behind her, startling her a little “also heard about your children’s little protest, have to say I am quite impressed.” Effie could hear the grin in his voice.

Even though she was indeed proud of them, Like hell I’d let Plutarch use our children for your plans again, he didn’t have that hold on them.

“They are their father’a children after all” Effie replied, trying to adopt the same grin “Haymitch Abernathy is not the kind of person to stand by the bleachers if he can help it” but that only earn her another, even bigger grin from the man, which irritated her to no end. “Ive heard the meeting I was conveniently absent from ended up being quite an eventful moment, would you care to elaborate?”

I would, thank you very much. But unfortunately, we still need your assistance. And constantly - your cooperation.

“In short, all went as expected - even the sharp deviation from the script and the outcomes were thought of beforehand and handled with the finest care. I have to admit it was a bit of a hassle to deal with this during the victors vote, but everything was tied up marvelously.” Effie vomited the words out as if she was giving her boss a performance review before quitting on the spot, finally glad to not owe Plutarch Heavensbee explanations about her family.

Haymitch was the man of this household now , which means I won’t have to pretend I’ve ever slept with you ever again.

Plutarch laughed loudly, the stupid grin still lasted all over his face as if he won a great amount of money “I would have expected anything less from my star crossed lovers, you two always knew how to put on a show.”

Did he just called Haymitch and her… Star crossed lovers? Effie didn’t have to pretend she knew what that title ment - she helped crafting that strategy along with Peeta and Haymitch last year. Many words could be used to describe the pair of them - loud, passionate, one tribute even said that they were scary when they fought like any other game season - but star crossed lovers?

Star - for sure they were, in many aspects.

Crossed - all the same.

Lovers? - she would love to be even a fracture of this is Haymitch’s eyes but he wouldn’t have it and when the actual reciprocation was the deal breaker, she would have to disagree with this part of the game maker statement. But that didn’t change the fact that it caused her face to feel as if she was as scarlet as the old national flag.

The sound to the trumpets indicating the beginning of the ceremony pulled her out of her thoughts, she grabbed Plutarch’s shoulder in a gentle firmness grip and whispered as quickly as she could “when Katniss shoot the arrow at the newly appointed snake, we need to make a run for it. I’m assuming you are prepared for this kind of deviation?” The look he gave her assured her he understood and he called Fulvia Cardew, a young woman from the known elite family who was apparently his assistant and made the needed arraignments that will secure the safety of the rest of them.

Before she could ask what would happened to Katniss, another set of trumpets was heard, making her inductively call her children and bring them to her side. Katniss, the woman of the hour appeared, looking beautifully fierce in her mockingjay suit. A bow in her hand and one arrow on her back, and at the same time, Coin was positioning herself on the platform, ready to deliver - unbeknownst to her - the first and final speech of her career.

The square in front of the tribute’s centre, lower platform.

As he took his position next to Peeta and the other victors, Haymitch felt as if he was about to Spontaneously combust at any moment.

The sun was too hot, his temple pounding and pulsing, the fancy-ish shirt he wore chocked him at the neck and overall he felt as if he wanted to punch someone.

We should be together, I need to be with my family, I need to make sure they are safe.

Effie was positioned up the upper platform alongside Plutarch and all the officials, so did the kids. Since Helena and Jannaeus were still legally under Heavensbee׳s name - both him and Effie decided it would be the smartest choice, even if it pissed him off to no end - so much so he considered to just grab the three of them with him and hid in a corner somewhere.

It wasn’t a possibility, though - They were on the verge of a very delicate situation - if they won’t play it right, the conscience could be lethal.

But that didn’t change the burning pit inside him, the oh so familiar sensation telling him he couldn’t stand being apart from them. He wouldn’t even ashamed to admit how much his heart ached from yearning for their proximity

It wasn’t a surprise, considering his other addictions. But It surprise Haymitch how quickly the attachment to the idea of the four of them under the same… roof? Title? Formed in his head as the default.

Unfortunately, they managed to squeeze in barely ten minutes for a so called reunion before they had to leave for the ceremony. During that time, they had too much debriefing to do while simultaneously trying to enjoy the moment.

While still held tight in his arms, the kids were told to never leave Effie’s side during the ceremony and not to talk to anyone other then the two of them and mister Heavensbee. Since non of them was able to predict how this situation would Escalade, it’s better be safe then sorry and that regard.

Effie’s job was to watch the kids and update Plutarch - to make sure he knew what to expect. The man’s connections might just end up being useful. Even though he was as predictable as a wildfire - he wasn’t a part of the symbolic hunger games proposal and his planing and strategies have mostly proven themselves over the years. He was an ally worth to have by your side, especially in the unpredictable aftermath of Katniss’s plan.

“How was the family reunion?” Peeta suddenly whispered in his ear, startling him a bit, while giving Haymitch the cue he needed to start his own mission.

“As cozy as you can expect” Haymitch grumbled in his usual dis attachment, even though for him it was the truth - the conversation with Effie and his kids embrace filled his heart with warmth beyond his wildest imagination.

So much so it made him realize how cold he was for the past twenty five years.

Well, other then those rare times when Effie and him found themselves all wrapped up under the covers, Sharing experiences, body heat while comforting each other with kisses in very sensitive places.

With too much things to consider, He didn't have the opportunity to kiss her goodbye before they had to leave - but he promised himself he would make up for it in the future - If she’ll have him.

And he would spend the rest of his life to prove that he was worthy of her.

“So… is it true then? Helena and Jannaeus - if I remember their names correctly - are yours and Effie’s, right ?” Asked Peeta, pulling him from his thoughts. Haymitch nodded in approval.

“When? How did that…” the shook Peeta felt would be Audible to a deaf person. 

It made Haymitch frown his face and spit out “Like it usually happened, your Pa never told you how that phenomenon occurs? So, when two people really love each other…”

“Ugh, stop! I don’t want to have the image of you and Effie do…stuff. Even if you “love each other very much.” Peeta made Quotation mark movement, as if to emphasis the absurdity of it all. Haymitch wouldn’t lie - what he and Effie share could be provide as absurd; but for him - it weirdly felt like he finally found the way home. For a minutes they were quite, until Peeta tupped Haymitch with his elbow as he asked In a tone that walked the line between hopeful and teasing “But do you actually? Love Effie very much?”

Haymitch’s heart violently pounded in his chest and warm, tingly sensation spreader across his cheeked. An unruly side smile was involuntarily plastered on his face as he thought about what the hell it all means - Effie was the closest thing he has to a friend, they shared twenty five long years in the hunger games, she was his first in so many monuments in his life and now, she was the mother of his kids - now officially his family, even thought in high sight she was his only family for a long long time.

Haymitch found he cannot imagine his life without her.

And he couldn’t really tell if it excites him or terrified him to now end.

It was easy for him to figure out his emotions. To understand what he felt for Lenore Dove was love at it finest as Everything fell into place - as it should be. She intrigued him, made his head spin. With her everyday was as an enlightenment, as if magic was real in the old there before.

But with Effie?

In the beginning, it felt as if the world was punching him in the face real hard - the understanding of what his life just because was overwhelming. To him, she was this Secure stake in the ground, the one thing he could relay on. Even thought they had their fair share of scuffle and arguments, it never left him exhausted, On the contrary - he never felt more alive.

There is never a dull moment with her, She won’t compromise on anything but the best and there ain’t a chance of not getting infected by that. It was mesmerizing to watch her spins everyone around her little finger, with a abnormal amount of gentleness and experience. It was even more mesmerizing when she worked her magic on him. When they were together - even if they didn’t have sex - the problems of the outside world were left outside, almost forgotten.

With her, the families old-there before, with all its struggles and hardships and loss, the world of the living was in fact magical.

Haymitch turned his head to Peeta and nodded lightly, the words comes out of his mouth with ease he haven’t felt in a while - he blame the booze from earlier “I don't think that even begins to sum up the both of us.”

“Good” Peeta offered him a smile “I’m happy for you, really.”

A loud sound of a muffled trumpet is heard in the background, probably from the orchestra's preparations for the ceremony, an indication the show will start at any moment now. Haymitch snaps him out of his euphoria and brought him back to reality, he still needs to update him about everything.

Haymitch grabbed Peeta’s shoulders and brought him into some sort of a hug, whispering without removing his own gaze for the post where Snow would be tied up in a short moment. “Katniss is planning on killing Coin because of what happened to Prim and the Capitol hunger games thing. When she does we both need to make sure she is safe - we don’t know what’s gonna happened afterwards.”

Peeta shifted his shocked gaze quickly towards him and stared at him with anger “when did you think to telling me that!?”

“As soon as I heard it, but as you know it was one hack of a day, a lot has happened” Haymitch grumbled. “Katniss told Effie and I two hours ago, if it wasn’t for the kids I’m not sure we would even be in the known.” He knew Katniss would never want to cause any harm to them, but he also knew that she probably planned this without considering Helena and Jannaeus, so she might felt Unjustly guilty if something might have happen to them.

Eventually Peeta nodded and gave his answer “I’m in.”

Haymitch let out a breath of relief and released the boy from the hug as another trumpet blast alerted him that the ceremony was about to start - and with that was their plan.

Everybody took their places, Coin stood at the spot usually saved for Snow, the highest spot on the upper platform that came out forward for great view of the speaker from all sides. Meanwhile, Snow who now looked as frightening as wool rug, the collar of his velvet coat was covered blood, was tied by the guards to a poll just below Coin.

And then there was Katniss - in all her mockingjay glory, carrying the determination that brought her to that moment. Coin spoke in the background, probably the usual nonsense figured of authority tended to spit out; whatever she said did not matter much at that moment - Katniss had the people’s attention now.

The girl took the one arrow she was giver from the quiver on her back, positioned herself and her bow, ready to deliver the crushing blow; just not the one people expected.

Everything seemed to happen all around all at one - the arrow went through Coin’s heart, killing her on the spot. The crowd, consisted of thousands pissed off and hungry Capitol citizens, had began to storm out towards the undead Snow who was still tied to the post.

Katniss just stood still in front of him, her face is stoic. Haymitch and Peeta jump of off the platform and began to run towards her.

Until a frightened, hysterical scream cut its way through the chaos and commotion and hit him straight in the heart.

“Dad!”

Helena.

He saw his girl running towards him, tears stained her tiny face; when she was in his reach, he automatically picked her up and held her to his chest. “Peeta! I need to…” Haymitch shouted as loud as he could for the boy, who was already on his way towards Katniss. “Go to your family, ill take care of Katniss” Peeta shouted back and Haymitch didn’t need to be told twice.

Helena nuzzled his neck, crying and shaking and holding tightly at his shirt - but she was safe and sound in his arms. As he tried to navigate his way though the crowd and figure out where Effie and Jannaeus were hiding, he could feel his anger rising - somebody didn’t follow the plan as it was supposed to and that wasn’t something he would tolerate, not from anyone, not when it comes to his family.

It's time for dad to set some boundaries too.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16: The In-between

Effie’s Apartment, The capitol, after the interviews of the third quarter quell.

The evacuations of the capitol citizens from the tributes center was quick and efficient operation, even though it was triggered by the victors executing one last act of rebellion before being sent to their death - holding hands in union of the in justice of it all. Effie arrived home barely half an hour after the live broadcast was cut off, breathless, shocked and full of worry for her victors.

She wouldn’t have the chance to say goodbye to them, since she’ll be able to go back to the tribute center only after Katniss and Peeta will be on their way to the arena.

And last year’s rule was a card they could use only once. Plutarch heavensbee maybe protected Haymitch and her’s children from Snow - but as a gamemnaker, he was known for his cleverness and playfulness when It come to the spectacle of the show, a grand master of keeping people entertained and stuck to the screen. Last year’s hound mutts who imbedded the dead tributes features, were his idea.

He wasn’t stupid or sentimental enough to fall for her or Haymitch’s charm or schemes like Seneca Crane, which means the chance for her to see any of them again was as low as ever, or like a regular year for twelve - deepens on how you look at it.

Even she couldn’t stick to her usual positive attitude.

Effie turn the key to open her door and as soon as she entered it Helena and Jannaeus jumped on with excitement to hug her. “But why you are here? You are supposed to be at work” Jannaeus asked, not in his usual curious tone. The TV was still open and the capitol symbol was plastered all over it as an indication of an error in the broadcast - bullshit.

“I was given a night off so I could sleep home with you before the hectic schedule of the games! Ill have to go back in the morning, but you could sleep in my bed tonight if you want.” The children took her on her offer and ran across the hallway to her bedroom and even though she hated it when they ran in the hallway, tonight it offered her a sense of comfort to see them being themselves, having the chance of being children.

As she changed into her nightgown and got under the covers, she tried to focus on Helena and Jannaeus safe and sound in her arms and not on how one or two of her victors may be dead at the same time tomorrow.

How Haymitch would remain to share this burden alone once more, only this time she wasn’t sure he would be able to handle it. Eventually, she fallen asleep with her cheeks stained with tears of grief and an unanswered desperate anguish nestling in her heart.

The game-makes lounge, The former tributes center

How she could have let it happened?

They were already on their way to safety when all hell broke loose as Katniss’s arrow hit its target - the angry mob ran towards Snow to finish the job, the cacophony was incredible, making Effie tightened her grip on the children’s hands.

Unfortunately, they could not go through the building itself since there were soldiers standing guard on the door, so Plutarch led their way to the emergency stairs with the intention to try and enter the building from one of the emergency doors on the ground floor. Effie moved as fast as could wearing her leather hilled boots and carrying her still aching body - that kept reminded her that she was just barely recovered.

She could not care less though - her focus was solely to bring her family to safety, just as she and Haymitch planed.

The door Effie figured that they were looking for was not conspicuous at all - anyone who did not know what to look for for wouldn't have found it in a million years. Said door was seamlessly imbedded with the outer wall of the tribute’s center. Effie recognized that specific area immediately because of the handful  of times she had used it - even though technically it was for the sole use of those who held a game maker position. Now, the wall was covered with a prominent red graffiti of the mockingjay symbol, which was pretty ironic as of now. “Mom, where’s dad? We need to go and get him” Helena said while tugging on her mother’s arm.

“Your father will come to us before we know it, with Katniss and Peeta. Right now darling, we have to hurry and get into the safe place.”

“But something could happened to him with all those crazy people around!” Helena insisted.

Oh, We don’t have time of this Helena.

“You father is a very smart, very capable man. He is following our plan, so he would come back to us safe and sound as soon as he is done.” Effie explained again, firmer this time, while quacking her steps.

“Im going to get him! He’s not from the Capitol, he is going to get lost!” Suddenly, before Effie could stop her, Helena jerked Effie’s hand and ran towards the lower platforms “Helena! Helena come back here!” Effie shouted as she began to run after her daughter, but then her head began to spin and she felt her gut pulsing with pain. Plutarch was by her side, forcing her to lean on him and drugged her to what she reconsider as the game makers lounge. He set her on a chair and forced her to stay put “I cannot just leave her there all alone! What if something happened to her? She could get crushed under the crowd or get lost or get kidnapped or…or…”

Plutarch as always had to force the hard truth on her “you are in no state for chasing her and if anyone out there will recognize you, we have no idea how they would react - it would do more harm then good.” Effie felt so useless, so helpless - she burst into tears, making Jannaeus ran to her and try forced her to hug him, which she was grateful for, to have something to ground her chair, because otherwise she would use the last of her force to run away after her other child. She didn’t knew how long she cried like this, hugging her son while praying that somehow, they would be lucky enough that Haymitch or anyone of their allies will find her and bring her back - safe and sound and whole.

——-

“Helena, I need you to calm down” Haymitch found some nook to shelter his daughter and himself from the crowd. The girl was physically fine but she was still crying in his arms, shivering from fear and shock, still unwilling to release her grip on his shirt or say a word other then choking from how heavy she was weeping. Any other Time, any other day, he would let her cry as she pleased - its a privilege he would make sure she’d have - but right now he needed to bring her to safety and go help Peeta. “Helena, look at me” he moved her backwards a bit, not enough to let her go completely, just enough so he could look her in the eyes. “Breath with me - take one deep breath in” the girl immediately did as she was told, it seems that she was familiar with the ritual “and then another - that’s my girl” she giggled a little at his comment, took a few more deep breaths before Haymitch tried to get a piece of information out of her.

“Helena, its not nice out there and we gotta leave as soon as we can. So I need you to try remembering where was the last place you saw your ma. Can you do that for me, starlight? Anything you remember.” He offered his sleeve to her and She wiped her tears and nose with it before she spoke “we were up there” she pointed to the upper platforms “ and we followed mister Heavensbee downstairs, it had an ‘emergency’ sign above it.”

Haymitch tired to build a trail in his head, but he was still missing some details “and when you got downstairs, where did mister heavensbee lead you?” He asked softly but firmly. “He told us to walk close to the concrete wall and after some time he stopped to told us he found the door”; a door next to the emergency stairs, a concrete wall.

Two options came to mind - the one of the left of the building was the stuff only door, lead to the kitchen. The other was leading to the game makers only lounge; he had a feeling it was the latter, since Plutarch was the one who called the shots, but he needed to be sure, they don’t have time for searching.

“Do you remember anything about what the place looked like?” Haymitch asked.

The girl replied “Mister Heavensbee said he found the door but I didn’t see it, but there was a painting of the mockingjay on it, like the pin Katniss wears, it was red.” Yap, it was the door the emergency door to the game makers lounge - unrecognizable for those who aren’t supposed to be there since it was imbedded to the wall, only know he was able to find it quite easily, thanks to the mockingjay. He kissed his daughter’s temple and began running to the general direction of the lounge.

As soon as he got near the hidden door, it automatically opened from the inside. He ran through it, Panting “Oh thanks Panem! Helena!” Effie cried, her makeup smeared across her face and she seemed to have gotten older from worrying. Haymitch quickly placed the girl into her arms and Effie immidialaty hugged and rocked her as if she was just a tiny baby “oh, I was so worried!” But in a split second, Effie’s demeanor changed from worried to pissed of as she released her tight hold on their daughter.

“Helena-Salome Trinket! How dare you to disobey us like that! You could have gotten lost or get  hurt or worst…” Effie took a deep breath before continuing. “Your father and I were very clear about what we were supposed to do and why its important that we would follow the plan to the latter and Im very crossed with you, young lady!” Effie wasn’t using all the might of her voice but it seemed to work at the girl just as well, since the look she gave her father was pleading for a rescue. “Don’t look at me like that kiddo, I’m fuck… um vary mad too - furious even. I had to leave Peeta and Katniss alone to bring you back here! Care to explain what were you thinking for yourself?”

Haymitch was abnormally angry, even though she was safe now - his mind automatically bringing the worst options possible up front. His imagination betrayed him and presents his girl as a tributes in one of the games in which a herd of giant animals with legs thick as posts that Caesar Flickerman called ‘Elephants’, crushed and stomped right on the careers alliance tributes, killing them on the spot.

He could have lost her forever.

All because of her impulsive need to…

“I wanted you to be safe too” Helena murmured under her breath and played with a strand of her hair “you don’t know the Capitol like we do and… I thought that…” her lips wobbled and tears Began to fall from her eyes again “you will not find your way to us.”

Damn, his kid could make a grown ass man weep like a baby with her words. Even though he was actually more familiar with the capitol then the child - he had those twenty five years to get accounted with the city after all, which made her reasoning completely invalid - he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her more then he already was, not when she cared for him like he never deserved to be cared for.

He was so touched by her words, they somehow made everything feel like everything was achievable. He crotched down and wiped the tears from his daughter cheeks “I will always find you, no matter where you are and no matter how far - I promise you that.”

He promised the same to Lenore Dove, but it was so desperate back then - he was sure he would find his own death in the arena and wanted to give her something to hold on to for when he is gone, since he thought he was leaving her somewhat protected; He wanted her to carry on with her life. This time wasn’t a desperate attempt of reassurance but a promise of strength, that come from a place of absolute certainty in his promise, that he keep his promise right here, in the old therebefore - because no harm will come to his family under his watch.

“Pinky promise?” Helena whispered and held her pinky finger up in the air in a gesture Haymitch didn’t understand. He gave Effie a questioning look “lift you pinky finger and Interlace your finger with hers״ he did just that and Helena moved their hands up and down as if they just closed a deal of sort, making his daughter smile with satisfaction. “Hay, I wanna do picky promise with dad too!” Jannaeus called as he ran from the corner of the room “why Helena gets to be first when she acted like an idiot?”

“Jannaeus-Alexander! You don’t talk to your sister like that! Where are your manners?” Effie shouted, making Haymitch burst out a loud laugh. “You do realize its not helping right?” Effie was glaring at him now, like she always did when he embarrassed himself on TV.

“Some things just never change, right?” Haymitch laughed again, this time Effie joined him too and so some of the others he forgot were also in the room. Before Effie could reply, the door was opened again, welcoming Peeta into the room along with Johanna, Annie, Beetee and Anobaria.

“Where’s Katniss?” Haymitch asked as his eyes scattered the group, trying to find the girl. “They arrested her, locked her up in the penthouse” Peeta said in frustration “she was trying to take a nightlock pill before I found her, I made sure she dropped it though.”

Shit.

Effie shrieked in sorrow and was choking back tears and he could see out of the corner of his eye that she was shaking. Peeta saw it too and dragged the kids away so Haymitch would be able to comfort her without distraction or needing to offer any explanations. He tried to hug her but she squealed with pain “it still hurts, does it?” He asked, careful not to cause her to shut down. She nodded “apparently, I’m not in a state to chase someone just yet” she tried to laugh it off, but he saw right through her - through her mask, though her words, her eyes told him everything he needed to know, like they always did.

“Lean on me” he said and she put her forehead on his broad shoulder, breathing in and out and in again, trying to compose herself while he brushed light Circles with his thumb on her back.

They would have more time to figure out how to handle this shit show, so now she could have as much time as she need to get herself back together.

——

It was late in the evening when everything sort of settled and guards came to move everyone who was at the lounge back to the mansion, there they were instructed not to leave their assigned rooms until they were told. Haymitch sticked to Effie and the Kids and was lucky assigned to their old room together. The kids fell asleep on the couch, which made room for him in a huge, plush bed. Effie was already laid in bed wearing her sleeping gown, her hair was tied in a loose braid and her features are softer and more relaxed.

It felt odd to sleep - just sleep, of course - next to her on the same bad again after so long. But it made his mind felt at ease too, knowing she was safe next to him, with pinky cheeks and warm  body and breathing In and out of her button nose, tangible, Just a touch away.

“Well, that was one hell of a day” Haymitch spoke, trying to break the ice.

It made her huff with a smile "That’s an understatement if I ever heard one”.

Embarrassment and silence reigned between the two of them, as if twenty-five years of acquaintance and two children together could not contain a million and one topics of conversation. Haymitch has so much he wanted to say to her - how grateful he was for her, how complete he feels when they are with them, how much he loved her and wanted to show it to her in any way known to man. He wanted to embrace her and kiss her all over and breath her into him, engraving her essence into his bones, even though he was sure her name was already written in there somewhere.

But he felt discourage and wasn’t sure it was the best time to do it, to bring something new and delicate like that into the chaos they lived in. Luckily for him, Effie spoke first and freed them from the burden of shared embarrassment.

“Haymitch I… I'm sorry.”

He wasn’t expecting an apology, what happened? Why was she apologizing for? “What you have to be sorry for?”

Her face took on a serious look “Back at the lounge, when I… disciplined Helena, I referred to her as Helena - Salome Trinket.”

And now he lost her “and that’s out daughter’s name right? Unless she has another name I’m not aware of.” He really hoped Effie didn’t have another ridiculous name attached to the kids, he was surprisingly fond of his kids names - they rolled on the tongue and fitted them just right without being absurd or over the top.

“Its just that… you are their father Haymitch. With everything that happened it completely slipped my mind…”

“Don’t worry princess, I’m never gonna let you forget it” he smiled and winked at her.

From the look on her face, her smile that creeped in, he knew he got to her and it filled him with warmth, but it was apparent Effie was still intent on getting her point across. “I’m serious! I haven’t realized until now that I called her by my family name instead of yours. I don’t know how it works in Twelve, but here Its customary for children to carry their family name with pride and inherit it to the next generation - so its only appropriate that they would carry your name now. It wasn’t my intention to take that right away from you and I’m incredibly sorry for the way I behaved, especially after you showed how much you are worthy of this.”

Oh, so that’s what she ment by…

And right then, he was embarrassed once again, making him instinctively rub the back of his neck. “Being an Abernathy… its not a great catch as you made it out to be, sunshine” most of the times it was just there as a reminder of his family’s rebellious past, but sometimes - like with Lenore dove’s uncles - it actually had an effect, even though nothing could have stopped Lenore dove loving whoever she wanted to love, it did bother him when he wanted their approval, he didn’t want his kids to have the same struggles.

“Well, the Trinket name is not a great catch either. It was tainted before this war and it is even more tainted as the war is concluded” Effie said with a huff and a frustrated wave of her delicate hand.

“How about we would let them decide if they want to change it or not? Its their name after all. Especially in times when we might just be able to choose our paths for ourselves.” He said and the Effie smiled and nodded in approval. “We’ll ask them when we would actually be able to change it, I don’t think the Population Authority office would be opened right after the president was shot.”

Haymitch laughed at that “yeah, that would probably make sense. And now I think we both should go to sleep - we have a few long weeks ahead of us.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 17: The In-between part II

The Capitol, Effie Trinket’s apartment, two days before the 74th victory tour

“Mom, Jannaeus took my blue statoscope that grandfather gave me and he won’t give it back! “

“I didn’t take it, YOU left it on MY desk!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did!”

Ha, Every year like clockwork, the same tunes are played across the apartment for the great celebration of the annual ‘children having a temper tantrum because mom is going of to work outside the home’ - even if a broken clock strikes twice a day, this is the first time in twenty four years that Effie had to travel to twelve twice this year. Usually, any administrative or off seasons affairs were dealt with over the phone or using the government mail service, so her presence wasn’t needed. Now, because of her two - Effie was still ecstatic about that - newly crown victors of District Twelve and their costumery victory tour happening literally two days from now, she was bound to leave the kids with her father for the next three weeks.

And they were not having it.

As if following a tradition to the letter, they would make her life very difficult before reaping day by behaving uncharacteristically like two rag dolls incapable of thinking. They would act as if they  needed her for literally everything, like Haymitch on his extremely bad days.

like father like children, even though she hated that it came to her mind.

She learned how to handle this kind of behavior years ago, which she knew was triggered from her children dependence on her being their only active parent and that they miss her terribly during her absent. Even if her father was a very involved grandfather, he was a busy man and couldn’t always be as available - physically and emotionally - as a parent should.

But they all will have to make do with what they have available - she needed to do her job, not just for Katniss and Peeta, not just because she was a single mother who needs to provide for her family but also so Snow will not even think she is someone that should be watched and as a result, he will look with half a lazy eye at her children as well.

Effie dropped the stack of clothes she was about to put in her suitcase on her made up bed, tightened the silk headscarf she usually wore at home and walked towards the children's room to understand what they decided to fight about this time. She noticed through the small door slot that they were sitting side by side, not actually fighting but shouting the fight glancing each other knowingly.

Just like one smug smarty-pants she knows very well and coincidently shared genes with them.

It was uncanny how everyday that she get to witness them grow, she finds more and more similarities between the three of them, even if haymitch was drowning every part of his personality along with his memories with the overwhelmingly strong liquor that district twelve have to offer.

She still remembered the taste of this overwhelmingly powerful drink mixed with herbs she couldn’t identify , how awful it was but to what wonderful experience it led - which half of it haymitch will never get to experience. 

She opened the door just a second before the children resume their fight reenactment and pretending to be very cross with each other, she stood there for aa second with her arm crossed and eyeing them so they will understand that their plan has unfortunately failed “did you finish packing?” Effie asked cheerfully, looking at their half empty cases - which gave her the answer.

“We couldn’t reach the Sweaters on the upper shelve and I haven’t finished packing my homework” said Jannaeus who began to act on the latter. “And what about you my love? Do you need my help with anything?” She asked Helena as she reached to the upper shelve in their shared closet to grab some wool sweaters for them, along with scarfs and ear muffs for a good measure - even though the weather was controlled, sometime a snow storm was inevitable. “can you help me fold my clothes? Every time I try to fold, it looks like a lump” Helena complained, making her mother giggle “of course! But I would need your help to put everything back in you suitcase.”

The packed in silence for a while, Effie considered her time while folding Helena’s underclothes - her father will come to pick them up in an hour or so, which would leave her an hour and a half before she has to be at the station and take the train along with Cinna, Portia, the prep teams and the camera crew and drive the one day journey to twelve. On the train, a revision of the schedule would be needed and so a general and individual briefing to every member of the crew. The timing, camera angles, the outfits - everything should be as flawless as…

“Shit!” Jannaeus shouted out of the blue.

“Jannaeus! We do not use this type of language in this household!” Effie said firmly.

“But I can’t make everything fit inside!” The boy said in frustration

“Well, you could have asked for help without using this foul language, it’s beneath you.” 

She finished with Helena’s clothing before helping Jannaeus organize his actually very neat suitcase, only shuffling a few pieces around for more efficient use of space. They were eerily quite, which worried her - even through she was sure they are just upset because she was going for three weeks.

“Mom, I don’t want you to go” Jannaeus said suddenly in a commending, serious tone - as if he was her father telling her she was grounded, making her give her son a look and a lifted eyebrow as she asked right back “and why would you say that, my love?”

“Because… because… the districts are dangerous! And there is nobody to protect you when we are not there” Helena nodded in agreement with her brother and added “it much safer here with us!” Effie was aware that for her children, the main focus was on her staying here with them, but for  those who are probably are following her since Katniss and Peeta won, the made focus would be on how safe it actually is right here, right now.  Since her place wasn’t as safe as the Heavensbee  mansion, She needed to state this in a way that would reassure her children, but also would satisfy Him.

“There is no place like the Capitol, no doubt” the vomit of words came out of her like air, that’s what happened when you play pretend for a living “but do not fright my loves, the capitol wouldn’t have send me to the districts without proper security, so all of my team including myself would be as safe as it can be. Besides, it wouldn’t be my first time visiting the district - so I aware on how its proper to act around those areas.” Her children’s eyes lit up suddenly and Helena asked with In amazement and surprise “really? you’ve been to all of the districts before? Other then twelve? What was it like?”

Bingo - her children couldn’t resist learning new things and it was just enough to keep them away from questions about safety.

“Yes of course I was! It was along time ago, even before you were born. I was twenty years old and I just started working in the games and got to see all the special things the districts are known for - the large evergreen forests of district seven, where trees are as tall and as strong as buildings. The workshops in district one where they make all the finest most luxuries items using gold and silver and diamonds. The big dome in district five where all of our electricity is made and I even got so see the ocean in district four ride on a boat and learn how they catch fish!” Effie put a flare and theatricality when she described the little amount of fun of the fun things they got to do in between Haymitch’s obligations and excessive drinking she didn’t managed to stop.

“I was there to escort Haymitch of course, but as you see I came back safe and sound and even got to experience a great deal of adventures!” Effie concluded.

“Haymitch? Is that your drunk victor?’ Jannaeus said and both him and Helena twisted their faces into a look that their mother could only describe as disgusted “are you sure you want to go with him? He is very uncivilized!” Helena said with her nose up in the air.

Oh not this again.

Even since he almost puke on her dress - he never actually did - the children developed a low opinion on Haymitch, because according to them “he would ruin their hard work helping her picking up a dress so she would be the prettiest”. Haymtich was in a really bad state that year - there was an explosion in the mines that year, causing many of the fine miners of twelve to be buried other the rabbles and among them was Burdock Everdeen, the same young man who helped her making sure haymitch was alright all those years ago. He was Haymitch’s best friend before his game and his girl’s cousin - Effie knew how much it effected him, especially after what happened to her sister two years before. He drank like a mule that night, so much so he reached again to his clingy state and as always he looked for comfort when he was confused like that and It was never the right time. Only after she told him to let go and he did, he stared puking infant go them and no one piece of vomit hit her.

Even if her children weren’t aware that he was their father, she wasn’t going to allow them to disrespect him like that and reduce everything he is to his dependency and addiction. Because she knew this man and how amazing he is and how smart and capable he is.

“Haymitch Abernathy drinks plenty and the same as you I do not like it one bit. But think how amazing he is when he brought home not one - but two victors! He was the first mentor to do so! Only someone really smart can make this kind of thing happened. I’ve worked with him for a long time and we work well together and he had been very respectful towards me - so do not worry about him, alright?”

Her children nodded and before they could start asking more problematic questions, Effie pretended to check the clock on her write and gasped In shock “oh no, we are running behind schedule! Your grandfather will be here to pick you up in fifteen minutes! Hurry up, we have a big big big day ahead of us!

The presidential resident, E. Trinket and H. Abernathy room

Its been four days since Coin’s execution and everything felt as if everyone were trying to walk on eggshells while breaking down a wall - guards filled the halls of the mansion all throughout the day and night, stopping people at every intersection when they were on their way to the building that use to hold the old Capitol’s court under Snow’s regime - now used for Katniss’s trail.

Meanwhile, Katniss was locked up in what used to be district twelve’s penthouse in the tributes center, no visitors allowed, “for her own safety” as Plutarch described it. Because of that, They wouldn’t give her the chance to testimony or present her own side - a real great start for a brand new democracy that is build on equal rights for all.

As for everybody else related to her, they were all required to give testimonies and insight about Katniss without exception, as the legal team that was assigned to the case tried to figure out if any of the people in Katniss’s circle was in the known about what she did or was the mind behind it - the latter was something that they didn’t have to lie about - regardless of him and Effie being in the known, the plan was her own, which the team would have known if they would simply ask her. It wasn’t their problem if they wanted to go from the back door and achieve nothing - their mistakes kept his family safe, so Haymitch wasn’t protesting.

Unfortunately, while Katniss wasn’t even in the court because she was claimed to be “a danger to herself and others”, Poor Peeta was in that damn court for every single day for twelve hours, sometimes more and he or Effie would go with him, regardless if they had to give a testimony or not that day.

They would both be there is they could, but Someone had to watch the kids after all.

And today was his turn.

It was almost eight in the evening, the sun had already set, Effie was late since they discussion was taken longer then intended and he was exhausted - it was the first time he was their exclusive caretaker without Effie being there to share the load and his kids showed him their clingy side in full force. Outside of the rules Effie and himself implemented for safety, the kids needed his help with almost everything, even with things he knew they could do on their own. He was indulging them for now, as he actually enjoyed their attention, but he had the feeling that Effie wouldn’t approve of this kind of behavior.

And he wanted to do what was best for them, he wanted to act like the father they deserved - even if it ment that he would have to put his foot down, but in a proper way, not like how he threatened Katniss with an ear implant surgery for not listening to him and punished her by eating her lunch.

Even if he was hella pissed with Katniss for disobeying - he needed to act differently from this moment forward.

While Helena was in the shower - which was something he thankfully wasn’t acquire to assist her with - He was slouching on the bed with his arm over Jannaeus’s shoulder while the boy kept on reading a book called ‘The Wonderful Adventures of Nils’ that he began to read the previous day - Haymitch remembered that specifically because of the gaggle of flying geese on the cover. He would not lie to himself by saying he never imagined raising well read children when he was a teen - Lenore dove read everything he or she could get their hands on, but nothing in comparison to the amount Helena and Jannaeus managed to consume in a day. his kids read so much he couldn’t keep up with their pace, it was a mystery to him how their eyes didn’t hurt from them reading all the damn time.

Suddenly another specific sight related thing bothered him “Where are your glasses, buddy?” Haymitch asked his boy.

His boy.

Haymitch felt all giddy and warm on the inside at that fact, thinking how he would never get tired of that sense of belonging. One he never imagined he would be lucky enough get to feel again and with everything that happened, he didn’t even have time to indulge and start to digest how much his life have change for the better for the part three weeks.

“I think I dropped them in the conference room the other day when you and all the other victors talked about the… hunger games with Capitol children.” Jannaeus close the book and put it next to him on the bed. Haymitch could feel his boy shivering suddenly and shame begins to build up in his stomach.

Even though Katniss killed Coin, hence the absurd concept of another hunger game was buried and will never see the sunshine of a new day. Even though he voted ‘yes’ at that time only because he sensed that Katniss had some sort of plan to stop everything at the root.  Even if in high sight he was right and it was indeed the smart thing to do, None of that could ever make up for him making the same mistake twice. The fact that he acted out of his stupid and impulsive smart-ass gut without putting a thought into it, looking at the end goal while destroying everything that matters along the way.

And just like that, He managed to put his own family on the gallows – again. Haymitch literally authorized to send Helena and Jannaeus - his children, his own flesh and blood, his only family - to the arena that destroyed his life. The mere thought of his kids potentially being sent to the hunger games made him want to bury himself under the rubble in district twelve for all eternity.

Every victor knew it was a risk when one of them chose to have a family; their children will have a higher chance of being sent to the games as a form of punishment for doing something Snow didn’t approve, or just because he fancied it.  Ampert was one example - clever, witty and sweet Ampret. The boy faced it all calmly and courageously even in the hell upon earth that was their arena.

He remembered how Beetee acted – cold and calculated for the most part, until something triggered his illusion and he remembered that regardless of his enormous efforts, his son is not going to make it.

When Helena and Jannaeus appeared out of thin air in front of them, not only that every person in the room who voted 'yes' had to face the very people they were sending to their death who were sending them right back to the corner, to think about what he did - forcing them to face the truth. Haymitch was indeed faced with the truth that he felt kicked him in the nuts - metaphorically this time – the truth that was there all along, hiding in plane sight and just waited for him to really look.

For two weeks he was terrified to lose the tiny pocket full of sunshine that he shared with them and Effie, that it didn’t occur to him to even ask if he was their father - burring himself in own guilt and self hatred. “You want us to go and get them?” Haymitch asked Jannaeus, since he was sure that cursed conference room was remained as they left it on execution day, so it would be no trouble to find it. Besides, he wasn’t going to let his kids wander around the mansion alone during Katniss's trial. if they wanted to go somewhere outside of their assigned room – they would be escorted by him or Effie, they wouldn’t take the risk on that again.

“No, I never liked them anyway” Jannaeus shrugged casually.

“Son, you need them to see. If you don’t want to go, I can…”

“Grandfather said I don’t need glasses, but everyone needed to think I did” the boy clarified “mom asked me to wear them when me and Heleni turned three. Those glasses didn’t make me see any better, the truth was they made my vision worse. The glasses changed the color of my eyes but did nothing for my sight.”

Haymitch remembered that Effie did mentioned the glasses were something that she used in order to protect the kids. Now he was able to understand why - With those eyes of his, that were identical to Haymitch’s - everyone could recognize that Jannaeus is related to district twelve somehow; combining that with who his mother was, it wouldn’t take more than a second for Snow to link it all back to Haymitch. What would happen if someone figured it out? Haymitch luckily would only be able to imagine that scenario and not live through it.

“You understand why Your Ma asked you to wear them?” Haymitch asked softly. The boy nodded "I've never met anyone with eyes like mine that were natural - you were the first. That was the thing that made us suspect your are our dad. Also, Heleni remembered you called mom 'princess'  - we met some people mom worked with, none of them called her princess. Heleni said that she read this book about etiquette and that it was highly inappropriate to talk like that to someone you work with, but it was actually a way to approach someone you are interested in a relationship with. "

The room was getting kind of hot all of a sudden, Haymitch's nape filled with sweat and pleasant shivers, which he resisted the urge to rub off. "So, we suspected that you might be our father, but we weren’t sure until you and mom confirmed it. I think it was because we… um I mean people who live in the capitol shouldn’t getting married with people from the districts, which meant that they cannot be a family” Jannaeus’s face turned grim.

It sadden Haymitch to hear those words from his son, but he knew their situation was indeed delicate and Effie and him would be the first… couple… that would have to deal with the seventy five year long taboo on a family consisted of both District twelve and the Capitol, once the trail is over of course.

“They say that? I think we are kind of proving otherwise” Haymitch ruffled the boy’s hair, which caused the boy to smile. “You really think so?” Jannaeus asked with a hopeful glint Haymitch though he might be addicted to. “For sure, nobody can’t take that away from us - we will always be a family, no matter what anybody else thinks.”

At that exact moment Helena got out of the shower in a while fluffy robe “Jannaeus, you can get in now!” She shouted as she make her way to the part of the room where they had this private nook that was served both as a walk-in closet and a getting ready area. The boy jumped from the bed, taking the pile of sleeping attire Haymitch had to help his prepare and head to the shower, leaving Haymitch to sit alone on the bed.

Silence filled the room as each of his children went about their business, not needing their father what so ever.

Haymitch hated that silence, something that was never precent in their their little corner of the world - his kids are as talkative as their mother and their enthusiasm is almost addictive, combined that with his need to be sober making him able to actually absorb his surrounding and take everything in - it was a new type of energy that fueled him back to reality.

This silence and the inactivity reminded him that Effie didn’t came back yet - oh how terribly he missed her as worry began to bubble in him, thinking it might just be for the best to lock the door to the room and go look for her.

But Peeta is with her, he won’t let anything happened to her.

She wasn’t wearing her regular attire, you made sure that she wouldn’t track un wanted attention, warned her to keep in line, to keep herself safe.

But what if someone did recognized her and tried to…

Oh for fuck sake, I can’t take it! I’m going to…

At that moment he heard their agreed triple knock on the room’s door and everything felt right again. Effie came into the room, wearing her diseased outfit and an elaborate headpiece she put on her head instead of her usual wigs. she seemed to be a bit more spirited then he got used to see her in recent times - even though she was for sure tired, her posture was better, her eyes brighter - oh he forgot how much he loaned to see her all upbeat again. But considering where she came from - it was a tiny bit suspicious.

“There was a sale on headscarfs?” Pointing out the suitcase she carried, one he was sure she didn’t took with her when she left their room in the morning, He was rewarded with an eye roll and a tiny smile. “You do realize that there are other things that can make a woman happy other than then shopping, right?’ her smile got bigger and her eyes got wetter, she covered her mouth as if she tried to stop herself from crying, making Haymitch jump from the bed, sprint towards her and wrap his arms around her and embrace her into his arms.

He stroked and caressed her nape, tried to clam her down even though he worried to no end “what happened, sunshine?” Haymitch whispered in her ear. Effie sniffled before moving her gaze up to meet his eyes and the look she have in her eyes was not one of sadness or fear - It was indeed a look of… relief.

Effie wiped her eyes before talking “the testimonies today focused on Katniss’s medical state, so both the prosecution and the defense brought in doctors from where ever they could find them so they would be able to asses if the supposed physical and mental damage Katniss endured had an effect of her shooting Coin. So they brought all those random doctors in, which I know the bribed them with food to say whatever those basters of a lawyer wanted them to say…”

“Eff, you are mumbling” Haymitch gently cut of her speech “is that why you were crying?” He figured it wasn’t, but he was too impatient to find out what in the name of Panem happened so he could approach that with… something to bring that beautiful smile of her back.

“No! Its nothing of that… don’t cut me of like that!” Effie retorted with fake upsetnss. “So, as I was saying they kept bringing doctor up the stand and right before the end of the day the defense wanted to bring up another doctor which they claimed had more experience then all of the doctors who testified and…” Effie chocked on her tears again “and they called my father’s name and apparently he was inside the court this entire time!”

Haymitch hugged her even tighter, relief washed over him knowing nothing bad has happened “Im so happy for you, Sunshine” he kissed the top of her head as she kept presenting him the sequence of events. “Apparently, his house remained untouched throughout the war, so much so that father has made it into some sort of on Open clinic, since he had all this medical equipment and a mini operation room in his basement from when… from when I gave birth to the twins. Apparently the defense found him there and promised him a quick access to the finding missing persons database.”

“He tried to find you and the kids” Haymitch stated the obvious.

Effie nodded and continued “he was worried sick, not getting any sign of life from us for months and after what happened to Prosie - he wanted to make sure we were alive before giving up completely.” Effie didn’t talk much about what happened to Proserpina, but he could understand her father’s disposition “I though he was dead, Haymitch! He’s might be in to shape but he is in his seventies and Snow could have taking him and just out of spite…”

She buried her face in the crook of his neck and resumed his crying “but Snow didn’t hurt him, he is alive Eff, hold on to that, alright princess?” He apparently said the right thing cause Effie nodded and lifted her gaze to reward him with a smile “Haymitch Abernathy where did you store this surprising amount of positive attitude?” Effie asked with a chuckle.

“Lets just say I’ve learned from the best.”

“No need for a backhand compliments” Effie lightly hit his bicep.

“Im serious! Who else I have in my life that have such a contagious smile?” Haymitch retorted back.

“Well, I still appreciates that non the less.”

Haymitch’s gaze moved back down to the case in her hand “so are you going to show me the haul of your shopping spree?” He teased her again.

“Oh right, it completely slipped my mind!” She moved to the bed and before she could do it herself - Haymitch lifted the case up the bed for her “thank you haymitch” she said softly, as if the gesture really touched her. “Don’t mentioned it.”

Effie opened the case and began to empty it in organized piles on their bed and explained “after the trail Peeta and I went along with my father back to his house -  I collected some things for us while father checked up on Peeta’s leg, he is familiar with the model so he offered him to have a look at the prostatic and his stump as well.”

Haymitch wasn’t actually surprised by Ernest Trinket’s offer - he witnessed first hand his daughters kindness, it was only right for them to learn it from somewhere “so you father deals with amputations? He asked solely.”

“Its kind of a side issue in oncology, since sometime cutting of a sick limb is necessary for a person to regain full recovery” Said Effie.

“Onco-what?” Haymitch asked, completely clueless.

Effie looked at him apologetically “oh, I’m sorry Haymitch, how could I forget that district twelve have almost no access to doctors, so not to mention an oncologist!” She quickly moved on from this and began explaining “in medicine - in the Capitol at least - there are dozens of specializations and subspecialties, for a specific organ or disease. My father is specialized in a group of diseases called ‘cancer’ and since this group is considered a difficult disease to treat, it considered a very prestigious specialization.”

“Never heard of it” Haymitch answered, completely puzzled.

Effie sighed and her face turned grim “its a disease the can require plenty of expansive testing and very specific and expansive treatment that even some capitol citizens could not afford, not to mention someone from the districts. The disease is characterized by the body producing defects in cells and essentially rebuilding them in an abnormal manner. Most people don't notice the side effects or think it's another problem. I’m sure you’ve met some people who suffered from immense amount of pain or smoother symptom and nothing helped? It might just be it. Its one of the most common causes of death in the capitol - in that regard I’m sure the statistics are roughly the same.”

Haymitch was shocked, by how much the Capitol actually blocked the district from receiving this kind of medical care for years, not even letting them know that hope for a treatment existed, it left his in an awe - for Snow’s audacity and for her father’s capabilities “So your father actually makes those people who have this better?”

Effie nodded “most of the times, yes.”

“We would really need someone like that in twelve back in the day.”

“I wouldn’t think you deserve of anything less.”

The heavy subject brought this annoying awkward silence between them again, which Haymitch really started to hate and what he hated even more about that was the way he was never the one to break it - somehow Effie was always the one who managed to break the silence.

“So if we talk about deserving anything less - my father offered to keep an eye on Helena and Jannaeus tomorrow during the trail, which is a lifesaver because the legal team requested the both of us to be at the court to deliver a testimony” Effie said in a serious tone.

Haymitch had gotten stiffed in an instant “Did they actually said that they want the two of us together… specifically? Why they want the both of us there?” He asked, worry tainted his voice.

Effie nodded “I have no idea what is this about and Plutarch - conveniently - wasn’t there today, he had some government stuff to handle” she said “I’ve already talked to my father, he will be at the mansion entrance when the guards will take us to the cars, they will stay with him for the duration of the day. In the evening he will bring them back to the court’s building.”

“Got it” haymitch said as Effie explained the schedule “if something would change I’ll go to his house to make sure things are alright and pick them up myself if needed.”  Haymitch’s heart felt heavy with this ,with the both of them given that such attention, he needed to be prepared for anything. ‘Does you father have anywhere that they can hide, like a shelter or a bunker or something?” Asked Haymitch.

She nodded “his clinic is underground and his operating arena even has an earthquake protection. But Do you honestly think it would come to that?” Effie asked in worry as she played with her hands.

He sign in some relief and remained serious “I don’t know, princess. We have no idea what the fuck they want from us - regardless of that, I need to make sure that they are safe and this is the most efficient measure I can take in such short notice.”

Effie nodded in agreement “agreed, we cannot take any risks.”

Just as they finished talking, Helena came out of the walk-in closet wearing her night clothes and her hair tied in what haymitch though is supposed to be braid. “Mom! Can you help me? I’ve tried to do the braid like Katniss does It but its really hard!” Effie giggled and immediately got down to work.

Haymitch set on one side of the bed watching Effie sitting on the opposite side of the bed, braiding Heleni’ hair, sharing this moment of mother and daughter bonding. The familiar feeling of warmth, that now had became a great family friend settled within him.

They would have enough time to worry in tomorrow morning.

Right now, in this room, in this moment in time - its their time as a family that he would live a long life to make sure no one will take that away from them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18: The Choice

District Twelve, The Hub, 8th of April the year of the 70th hunger games

Another day, another drink, another nightmare to try and forget.

Haymitch jolted awake around noon, automatically grabbing the bottle from his stock next to bed and was surprised to know the bottle was nearly empty and he was almost out of booze.

Im drinking more and more those days it dawned on him and he didn’t know how to feel about this. It was so embedded to who he was by now - the drunken victor of district twelve, the nepenthe or whatever it was Ripper concocted engraved that image onto his bones, every hammer blow on the chisel only curved deeper how his existence became a display of how heavy the weight of the loss was on his shoulders.

Effie had the habit of send him everything and anything he could have ever wanted and never asked for, but she would never sand him booze -  even though she gave him space to mourn and drink in peace, Haymitch knew she was never a fan of what she describe as “his excessive dependence” on alcohol. Somehow, even the thought of asking her to buy him booze brewed a feeling of shame in his stomach; he felt as if he would disrespect her efforts to put him back together each year.

Both of them knew he wouldn’t stop drinking, but in their fragile state of being the only victor and the escort of district twelve, they formed some unspoken Conventions over the years. In between the fights, the Fucking job and those rare moments of heart flatter - he respected her immensely and he knew she felt the same way. Her interference in his drinking - among other things - were lines they would never cross with each other.

So, a trip to the Hub is due.

He took a quick shower, wore some pants and undershirt, threw a jacket on himself cause it was still cold outside and started the half-hour long walk towards the district’s black market. The effort of moving his body remained him how lacking his fitness was, to say the least; but it had one significant advantage - it made him preoccupied with the pain in his joints, the cold that penetrated down to his bones, his heavy breathing - for a short time he managed to ignore the pain and sorrow that were his life.

But it tended to last only for as long as he preformed the activity - in general he was a laid back type of guy even before his games, so as a kid he preferred to waist his time having fun rather than go to work or run errands. When he was willing to be active though, even in his miserable state, he surprised himself sometimes with how much he got amerce in within the deed, almost giving into it completely and actually living the experience, committing to it completely. When he committed to the plan to take down his arena he was willing to sacrifice himself for the cause, pushing everybody away, he was willing to play the game because he was good as dead. He ended up paying the worst price he could have because he went too far with his commitment to the game and actually won, so Snow killed his entire family, by that he removed every barrier that could ever have prevented Haymitch from continuing to rebel - so this became his commitment of a lifetime until his upmost anticipated death.

His tendency of absorption in the moment and experience was the reason he was so depended on the booze in the first place - he lived the death of his family, especially that of Lenore Dove with every aching breath that reminded him that he was alive while they were buried deep down inside the cold cold ground.

But it also brought me pleasure, cause I still remember the elation I felt when I entered into Effie’s…

Haymitch shook his head and gave his forehead a handful of hits as it was a faulty engine. His mind tended to play those fucking games every once in while, bringing up memories of the time Effie and him had…

Effie smelled like warm honey mixed up in a lavender tea, her skin was even softer then I remembered, her eyes shone brighter than I had even seen them. She was so beautiful, her divine presence exposed and open to my eyes alone, lying gracefully between the sheets that smelled like her even after I returned from the Hunger Games duty.

Stop it, stop it, fucking stop it!

Fuming and hot in all the wrong ways, he stopped abruptly next to an old pile of still unmelted Snow and smushed his face with a fistful of the dirty, cold mass. he tried to calm his breathing that had become suffocated and strained, labored for as if sex was the activity he was currently preforming and like apparently his entire body - his dick had also rose up for this so called special occasion and was now painfully suffocated inside the prison of his pants.

Just walk, move from this god damn spot, just move damnit! Walk to the hub, buy the ducking booze and it will be over!

Both determination and a sense of loaning fulled him as he resumed his walk and just began to cross town - which was surprisingly quite and uneventful for this time of day. The sweet shop - that by now was acquired by the Undersee family - and other shops where still open despite the lack of clientele, So apparently the district jaunt been put under curfew while he was asleep, which was good, but it still made suspicions grew in Haymitch’s stomach.

The amount of people on the street grew as he got closer to the hub, running from place to place in a clear urgency, calling and asking one another In short words and an impatient tone, but with the buzzing noise and his aching head, Haymitch hasn’t bothered to listen. The terrible news struck him as he finally reached Ripper’s booth, who despite her missing hand, She worked as quickly and efficiently as a ten-person factory, filling the miss match bottles with the clear liquid.

“Ripper, I’ve paid for twenty!” Haymitch grumbled as he counted his stock, realizing he was missing about five bottles “Sorry Abernathy, the mine collapsed and people will come to drown their sorrows - so for once, you’ll have to deal with it.” Ripper grumbled back in her usual no nonsense tone, so what she said didn’t really sink in.

“Oh shit” Haymitch said, pissed off and slightly hysterical, because he knew like everyone who lived in district twelve what was the meaning of collapsed mine - district twelve tried to make a change and the Capitol buried them alive.

“Did ya heard anything?” Asked Haymitch.

“I was just passing around there when I saw it, ran straight back here - its not like id be much of a help in there is you know what I mean” Ripper waved her stump up in the air to emphasis “my help would be to help people forget.” Haymitch pushed his hand into his pocket, pulled another bill and put it on her table “keep the change and add this to it, make the first escape on the house” He said as he took off, his legs taking him to the mines. He didn’t laid his foot in the mining compound for ten years… maybe more? He wasn’t sure, but never the place was as chaotic and busy as a day where the mine has ‘desired’ to collapse on top of its people.

The chaos coated the compound - peacekeepers with complicated rescue equipment that is quite clearly not designed to rescue humans and all around are all the miners who were lucky enough to live another day, some of them cradled in the arms of their loved ons. Among those, man and woman and some kids scattered the place, looking for their own loved ones, hoping to find them alive and well.

In the corner of his eye, Haymitch reconsiders a familiar face - Asterid March, now Everdeen her blond hair in an some sort of a braided updo, accompanied by another seam-born woman and a teen who Haymitch figured was her son. Asterid met his gaze from afar but did not acknowledge him, as the other woman drugged her towards the group of people halting in-front the liss of employees who were assigned to the mining shift in the mine that has collapsed  - the excavation of the dead could take up to a week in some cases, and this list helped filter out those who were definitely no longer alive.

The two women pushed in between the mass of people, some too shocked to move, some still screaming their lunges out of sorrow and some cry happy tears of relief as the weren’t able to locate those they are after on the damned list. The two woman scattered the list, the other women seemed to have found the name she was looking for on the list, her whole body became stiff as she fled out of the group to reached to the young boy who came with her, told him the news and held him as he cried to the crook of her neck.

Asterid stood still in-front of the board, her clean elegant white dress and her and merchant-blond her popping up in the sea of people in dirty mining overall and she wasn’t franticly checking the board like the rest of them - her eyes focused on one spot on the list. Suddenly, one of the other frantic people pushed Asterid not so accidentally to the other side of the board, making her fall onto the coal coated ground.

Only then he heard her scream.

Her agony and cries swallowed by the cacophony of all the other disasters and other families ruins but it echoed in Haymitch’s ear like as if he was standing next to her. Having Asterid March, known for her beauty, her just and collected presence, who offered her help and knowledge to anyone in need, now set on the ground, wallowing alone in her griff and no one is there to give her a hand, the woman she came with was long gone, probably bust with her own situation.

Some unknown force fulled Haymitch as walked towards the woman who used to be his friend, crotched to her and helped her off the ground. The look she gave him told everything he needed to know before she buried herself into his chest and cried even harder then before. After about twenty minutes of them standing like this, Haymitch suddenly noticed the sun has began to set and it was a school day - which ment her kids were left home alone. “We need to get you home” he grumbled absentmindedly, trying not to convey any emotions; “right… I need to… oh, how am I going to…” Asterid mumbled and sniffled, her eyes jittering maniacally as if she wasn’t able to focus properly. “Come on, ill walk you home” Haymitch walked towards the seam as the woman lean on him for support. He haven’t set a foot in his old neighborhood since his family died, but he could tell not much have changed - houses made of wood and covered with coal dust, kids in patchy outfits and greenery that surrounded every part that didn’t have something built on top of it.

And still - it wasn’t his home anymore, his home burned out of existence almost twenty years ago and it seemed as if every other connection he had to the place he grew up in, is burned down and buried too, leaving him with nothing.

When they reach the Everdeen resident, Haymitch looked at her and looked for any sign of apathy - he really didn’t want to be the one to deliver the news to her two daughters, he would probably will scare them to death, drunk people have the tendency to do that and he wasn’t as good with the little ones as he used to be. lucky for him, he didn’t have to take on the job - Asterid released herself from his hold and walked towards her house on her own. Before she opened the door, she turned around - but hasn’t spoken a word; instead, she gave him a look Haymitch could only interpret as sorrowful gratitude.

As if she was saying ‘we are even now’.

Asterid entering her home and closing the door was Haymitch sign to flee. He ran as fast as he could towards the victors village, grabbing onto the bag that held his liquor like dear life, panting and holding his tears inside, images of the other mining accidents he was taught at school fleshed before him, peacekeepers that were able to retrieve an arm or a helmet from underground, he still remembered the wedding ring on the arm of this man, the photo caught it as the sun hit it just right for the light to reflect from the metal.

Haymitch burst his door open, grubbed a bottle and swallowed it whole before he threw it onto the wall. He did that three times before moving to one of the unoccupied rooms and taking out his nerves on the ornate furniture of the Capitol's creation, as if this was going to being them all back, as if by ruining something the Capitol made, he would be able to kill Snow himself.

The tears found their way out, Haymitch found his way to the floor and the realization found its way to his brain - the reality where his childhood best friend, the loyal and bravest of them all, the hunter with a voice like a songbird, the friend who interfused him to the love of his life - was no longer in the old there before.

Burdock Everdeen was killed by the Capitol, a fate saved for those who ever dared to show Haymitch Abernathy some empathy. Even when Haymitch did everything in his power to keep Burdock away from his distractive presence - the death and sorrow and lost of everything dear to him seemed to be going strong even twenty years later.

The Capitol, The former national court building, hall number 103

Effie, Peeta and Haymitch arrived to the court, who seemed to be less bust then usual. Peeta went straight inside the hall even though it was still early, he looked as if he had a bad night - but he insisted to be there anyway even though she told the boy that both she and Haymitch were going to be there.

The love that boy had for Katniss was so strong, Effie could feel it with every breath he took and she thought how she had never felt this kind of love from any Capitol man before, the only close one she got to witness was Haymitch’s loyalty to Lenore dove - she found comfort in knowing that the her younger victors will be able to explore this wonderful thing between them in the privacy of their own world.

As Peeta slipped away, Plutarch located her and Haymitch and quickly started to updating them on what was gonna happened in today’s court day; the moment Plutarch spoke his first sentence, Haymitch cut him off, seething with rage. “Have you lost you fucking mind?!” Haymitch’s voice echoed all throughout the court hall, making Effie flinch as she was still shocked and uncharacteristically speechless by what Plutarch had just informed them. Regardless, her instincts were still intact, making her automatically reach for Haymitch’s shoulder to squeeze it lightly, trying to calm him down. He turned his head to look at her, took a deep breath in before sneered at Plutarch again - quietly this time. “Have you lost you mind!? What do you mean we will need to give a testimony about our kids? What the fuck they have anything to do with all this?”

“The prosecution gathered some of the transcripts of the meeting, The distribution of votes miraculously disappeared, if I may say so myself, but your children’s little speech was documented - I had no choice but to reveal who they are, luckily you would be testified for the defense - the team that is actually wants what’s best for Katniss” Plutarch explain in his usual composure “it doesn’t seem like they or neither you two are to be charged or blamed with anything, the testimonies of the past week have already formed the truth - that Katniss was the one who planned to kill Coin on her own accord, my theory is that the legal team is looking for a trigger and unfortunately your children were caught in the middle.”

Effie could tell Haymitch’s mind was working, trying to figure out a plan to physically get them out of there, coming up with the best place to hide in the city, maybe running away from the Capitol all together. Her gut instinct wanted to follow the same plan and do whatever she can to keep her family safe, but her mind and her administrative experience screamed at her to do the opposite - it might just be their chance to grant their family a better foundation in the eyes of the new, still forming government order. “Would it mean it will be documented that Haymitch is Helena and Jannaeus’s father?” She asked Plutarch solemnly, who gave her a satisfied grin “well, its only appropriate as you are here as their parents.”

Haymitch looked at her baffled “what the fuck this has to do with everything?”

She turned to face him “right now, the person who is written as Helena and Jannaeus’s father is Plutarch, so by having you providing the testimony, it would be the first official documentation of your familiar connection to our children - Its a recognition of your fatherhood, Haymitch” Effie explained, Haymitch’s body was still stiff with disbelief and fear. “What it mean in the long run is that they are ours - ours to have and ours to protect, because right now you don’t even have the legal right to defend them or have any claim on them.”

Haymitch grabbed her elbow and moved her to the side, making them both turning their backs to Plutarch “but what if they will try and connect them to Coin’s death? Or worst - what if they would try to connect you to the planning? Its not worth it! Besides, we already talked about how my name on their birth certificate won’t do them any good and I don’t see what good it will do them now! Right now, we need to grab the kids and find a way out of this city before it would be too late.” He wasn’t thinking clearly - his head is all filled up with fear and shame and helplessness of some promised cursed fate, that the full picture slipped his mind. And this, Effie thought to herself, wont be happening under her watch.

So before Haymitch managed to grab her wrist and drag her out of the court she slapped him.

To say he was in utter shock would be an understatement.

“What the…” Haymitch began to retort but she cut off his speech “in this kind of war we do not use our ‘primal’ instincts - and you understand that very well. If we do as you suggest, flee right now without looking back, there would be no one left to stand by Peeta and Katniss! You know her mother couldn’t handle Primrose’s death and fled, this is the exact thing you were trying to do right now and I will not let you act out of fear, only for you to wallow in regret for years to come!” By the look on his strong beautiful face, her words struck him and added even more helplessness to his overall demeanor. Effie caressed his face with her palms, forcing him to look at her while rubbing her thumb gently on the cheek she just slapped the second before; the warmth of a human touch made his body clam down in an instant as he murmured “the thought that something might just happened to them…I can’t… I won’t be able to…”

He won’t be able to handle another loss, so what is the point of him being recognized as their father if they will not be there with him to actually experience what it ment - Effie understood that all to well.

They were so tried, the both of them - they were executed and tired of pretending and hiding, but it was still their first instinctive action to take in facing danger - hide how they truly felt, hide who they truly loved and hide who they truly were. Effie knew that for Haymitch - and to herself for all that matter - the fact that they caught Snow’s attention changed the course of their reality for the worst, consequently causing Snow to murder the people they loved most.

How could she judge him? She acted the same way when it comes to their children - she hide them away behind her sister, behind the Heavensbee name - away from the Snow’s regime and education. The hardest part was to hide them from the wonderful man in front of her - she hide them from their own father. The man she would never be able to admit aloud he was the love of her life - all for Helena and Jannaeus.  A small sacrifice to make for the slight chance she had to keep them away from the horrible fate similar to those of the forty six children Effie was forced to determent.

She pressed her forehead to his “I know darling - but we have no choice, so we might as well use it for our own advantage.” Haymitch lifted his head and his gray eyes landed on hers, full of wisdom and fire. A life story full of fighting and suffering, hidden inside the storm gray of his eyes and this storm now has the chance to settle down and make space for a future full of sunny days - but it would require some bureaucratic paper work, to which Haymitch haven’t agreed to just yet. “How does this ‘recognition’ of my fatherhood would help to keep them safe? You are still registered as their mother, its not like they are legally parentless.”

She hated how he could be so smart and yet so impulsively annoying at the same time - Even though Effie knew its his insecurity and guilt who still lead his way through this conversation and not anything to with him not wanting to be a father to their children, it was starting to piss her off. “they weren’t parentless before this war, but they were fatherless” she told him bluntly “and even though we both grew up with just one parent - I think we can agree that two parents would always be the the better union for our children rather then just one, even if the two of them have a reputation issue.”    

He groaned in frustration, sensing her annoyance “don't get me wrong Eff, I am… I am really… genuinely happy that its even an option for us - for me to…be their father” Haymitch said, making Effie want to burst with tears of joy “but you have to understand Im not going to act out of my own selfish desires, just for a title or a jolt of a good feeling - I’ve done it once before and… it cost me everything, I’m not gonna put them on a pedestal just so I can say I’m their father.”

Oh, darling.

“So if Id ask you and you’d have felt like it was safe to do so - you would take on that legal title?” Effie asked hesitantly.

His eyes widened “of course I would! I thought I made it clear I was committed to…”

Effie exhaled in relief, a tiny chuckle escaped her lips “do not worry, you made it quite clear, I just wanted you to say it. Ive never doubted your love for our children and your desire to care for them, all I’m saying that holding that title is a part of being a father and this is our chance for you to earn it.”

Haymitch was always a tough nut to crack - and she still hadn’t managed to reach the end of his mind. In those weeks where he was finally close to them, she could see that glint of hope in his eyes grew shinier and brighter as the days went by, but at this moment she knew he never let himself to truly believe that this is actually is happening - that this is his family, that its not just a game, that they can actually be who they are even outside of the room they shared in the mansion.

“Look, If it was only that - I would have whole heartily agree with you” Effie quietly explained “but its more then just a title. We have a chance to acquire something beyond that, something that I honestly never thought we would be able to give our children - a chance for us to actually function as a family out in the open. Not just playing with wishing and hoping and hypothetical ideas. You’ve worked so hard to try stop the hunger games, why shouldn’t we use this opportunity you’ve dedicated your life to, not only for… getting rid of the old, but to try and build something new and stable and… somewhat whole.”   

Haymitch’s face displayed an almost lucid, unconscious tenderness “Do you… actually believe that I…” He choked on his tears, not willing to let them fall down “you’d actually want to have that with… you think its a possibility for us?” Careful Hopefulness dripped from his question, Which also imbues it with hope and a desire for action “there is nothing that I would want more” she said with a smile which rewarded her with an even bigger, wider smile from Haymitch “but unfortunately, we need to deal with the paperwork first.”

He rolls his eyes in fondness “you know how much I hate that kind of labor.”

“You hate any kind of labor” Effie laughed at his remark.

“Not when it comes to you… I mean you and the kids, obviously” Haymitch said quietly and Effie didn’t even care that he felt the need to clarify what he ment - because his heart was full with love when it comes to them. “So… we are doing this?” She hesitantly asked, hoping that he would trust her and go along with the testimony, he exhaled and lightly nodded while offering her a light smile “were doing this - for our family.”

Is that how it feels to have your heart glued back together?

“Well this is what I’m talking about!” Plutarch said suddenly - Effie forgot he was there and apparently so did Haymitch because of the moment Plutrach’s words reached his ears his smile faltered, not that Plutarch seemed to care. “Now that we are all on the same mind, we can move on to debriefing.” The former game maker updated them about the kind of questions they are going to be asked and while agreeing that they are going forward with the truth, they agreed not to say anything that might just put the children in any sort of danger, along with trying to lead the conversation to the fact that their children do not need to be viewed as a trigger of a crime, but as a prime example to how Capitol children should be brought up as Panem entered a new era.

“Is that so? Would you mind to elaborate, miss Trinket? How can the children of an escort can be used as an example for are nation moving forward?” The defense attorney asked “well mister Angelo, Being pregnant with the children of a victor, meant that I had to navigate through problem delicately to insure their safety - one of the measured I had to take regarded they’re education. I made sure take every measure I could to educate them myself or outside of the Capitol education systems, which is very restrictive and as someone who was a part of this system I knew I wanted their mind to shape in a way that they one day, when it would be safe enough to tell them - they would be able to except the other half of them, their district part. ”

“How did that go? The reunion I mean, between the children and Mr. Abernathy? I learned that it happened quite recently” The lawyer asked.

Effie nodded and a grin flashed on her face as she recalled their first meeting “well, they didn't even care Mr Abernathy is a district man - they just did not want him to puke on my dress again” the court audience laughed at her remark. Effie hated joking about Haymitch’s addiction like that, as the words came out of her mouth she found his gaze, he smiled at her and signaling her to continue, as if he didn't mind. She kept her gaze on him as she continued “other then that incident, they… formed this really marvelous bond, the children adore him and he is so good and attentive to them and their needs - the area they grew up in didn't make much difference. The base values I tried to instill - in my mind reflected Haymitch. I always tried to think about what things would be important to him, what decisions we would not have made regarding them if it wasn’t for the separation we were forced to live in. Part of that was, on the one hand, not to make anyone think we think differently from them, as it would put the children in Snow’s vision. On the other, not to arouse in them a blind admiration for games - Part of their education was to provide them with multiple sources of censored information and knowledge, opening up their world and their curiosity in a safe and age-appropriate way - a move I was very keen to see made accessible to every child and adult in Panem in the new era we are entering.    

Both lawyer Angelo and Haymitch gave her an approving look.

Mr. Solon of the prosecution on the other hand, gave her a look that Effie could describe as pissed off side-eye  “I have to admit, on paper - it all sounds very impressive miss Trinket - your continues efforts are for sure your children’s safety, its is quite admirable. But I cannot help myself by thinking of your privilege - every other “mixed” child would never have an access to the kind of luxury you were able to provide. Was this because of a so called plan of Mr. Heavensbee to groom your children into being the face of an upcoming rebellion?”

If it wasn’t for the respectable position, Blood would have been spilled here today.

“The thing you refer to as ‘privilege’ were the only precautions I could have taken - regardless of the fact that I was district Twelve’s escort and the father of my children was the sole victor of said district at the time, the reputation of my family was still down in the dumps and I was willing to except any help I deemed safe. Im very grateful to Plutrach allowing them to be under Heavensbee’s family protection for as long as he did. You’ve seen what had happened to children of victors in the games - not one of them survived. Haymitch already lost everyone he has ever cared for because of the games - I couldn’t just let Snow use and kill the only blood family Haymitch had left” Effie took a deep breath in, and then another “and in regards to my children being a the face of a rebellion - Plutarch had committed his life to create a world without the hunger games, so I could assume he had more then one idea in his head about how to approach this and as you can see, he succeeded. Personally, as the safety of my children is my top priority, I would not approve of this - but Katniss’s mother did not get a say in her daughter’s being the mockingjay either, so clearly the mothers do not have a say when in comes to political uprisings.”

Before Haymitch replaced her on the stand, he squeezed her hand in reassurance and walked to his position, wearing the same grin and attitude he wore when he approached sponsors - cocky and confident and determent.

“Mr. Abernathy, how long have you known that you are a father?” Mr. Angelo ask politely.

“I’ve known for for about a week, give or take” Haymitch answered the truth bluntly.

“Before or after the defendant shot Alma Coin?”

“About an hour before.”

The lawyer smiled as the questioning went as he planned “so you weren’t even in the known of your fatherhood before the meeting,  not to mentioned enough time to groom your children into participation in any kind of uprising - you barely had  enough time for a hug.”

“That’s right” Haymitch confirmed “and I’m grateful for the chance I have to make up for the lost time in the future to come - free of the hunger games and free of revolutions.”

“Thank you for you time, Mr Abernathy, I think I speak in the name of everyone in Panem as I wish your family all the best - no further questions.”

Solon rose up to replace Angelo, the man walked slowly towards the stand “first of all, I believe we should take this opportunity to express our appreciation for your tremendous efforts for a free Panem.”

“Thank you” Haymitch just nodded and answered bluntly, Effie could tell he had began to lose his patients.

“We know now how much effort all the participants has put into this this important mission. Using the Hunger Games - Snow's bread and butter when it comes to controlling the narrative - the amount of effort and sacrifice for this goal must have been enormous. Over the years, the rebellion wasn’t ashamed of using the tributes, children according to the old and new law, who showed some potential to ‘try and break the arena from the inside’ - Beetee Latire, Johanna Maison, Annie Cresta, Titus Horid, even you Mr Abernathy - those are just the victors who took part in one or more plans to take down the arena. For this current rebellion you and Mr Plutarch Heavensbee worked hand in hand to prepare the ground for Katniss Everdeen to be our Mockingjay.”

Where is she going with this? Effie was puzzled, Haymitch acted the smart way and stayed silenced.

“Katniss Everdeen, the daughter of your best friend, on the older and skilled when in comes to the games and a protective and shiny figure - a perfect candidate, a much better choice the your own children. My question is - did you set Katniss to be the mockingjay in order to spare your children the same fate and harm? Considering that it would have been sooner or late that your children might have just been discovered by Snow’s regime.”

If looks could kill, Solon would have been dead yesterday. Haymitch was pissed - not only she salted one of the deepest wounds in his heart, but suggested that he didn’t care for Katniss as he cared for their children, basically making a judgment on the fundamentals of his love and loyalty for Katniss, not to mention playing with their worst nightmare of having their children being targeted by Snow. Effie saw him taking one breath in, and another, his eyes red and his face harsh, but when he spoke his voice was clear and dangerously calm.

“As I clarified for the defense, I’ve had no notion that I’m a father until about a week ago - not to mention that if I knew, my commitment for a rebellion would have been severely compromised. Being a part of the revolution was a choice I’ve made out of having nothing to live for - hence being able to giving my all to it without any regrets. So no, Helena and Jannaeus were never a part of any plan of mine.”

Solon tried to move on to the next question but Haymitch cut her off “I wasn’t finished”. His voice was so commending, it felt as if the air was standing still from all the tension. “All throughout my time as a mentor my job was to keep her alive - at first for the sake of bringing her back home to her mother and sister, which wasn’t easy - Katniss acted from her heart, making it raw and true and real - you couldn’t force someone or making someone into being an image that people look up to and I’m saying that from experience. Katniss was chosen by the same people this revolution freed - the people of the districts and the oppressed people of the Capitol.”

Effie set there wide eyed and thought how much admiration she had for this man, but his final note, delivered in the tone saved for his most quite and intimate moments, s what closed the subject with no doubt of what the truth was “if I could have spared her from this fate and sorrow, If I could… give her and her sister the same protection as Effie was able to give to our kids - I would give it to them in a heartbeat.”

The hall seemed to have been magically silenced, but the sound of Solon clearing his throat broke the silence “um… no further questions for this witness.”

With that, the judge closed the session.

The trail continued for a two weeks more after their testimonies and in one December snowy morning it was settled - the day of which Katniss’s verdict would be decided had arrived.

Effie set in her usual spot alongside Peeta and Haymitch; fighting her wool coat around her bust, biting her lip, anxiously waiting for the session to start. After what seemed like forever, people rosed up from their seat as a sign to the jade entrance and the thee of them follow suit.

The gray hairs judge set down in her chair, fixed her coat and began her exposition ״Having considered all the evidence and submissions, the court will now deliver its sentence in the case of the state against Katniss Everdeen” Effie’s breath hitches, her heart beats hard as she feels Haymitch's strong hand clasping hers, supporting her as they both keep their eyes on the stage. The woman presented how she came to the verdict she was about announce, though Effie couldn’t remember a single word of it - not after the Katniss’s verdict was announced any way - because it seemed to have sealed their own verdict too. 

“Katniss Everdeen will be subjected to house arrest in the perimeter of District Twelve under adult supervision, in case of no appropriate candidate to pose as a guardian, the defendant will be sent to prison subject to this court’s ruling.”

Effie felt immense about of rage bubbling in her stomach - the girl was old enough to be a tribute, old enough to be a symbol for their uprise but not old enough to take responsibility on herself. In the end, Effie had to admit it was the lesser evil - there was a small chance that Katniss could walk out of this court free to live her life peacefully - like she deserves.

But there is no one who was able to be her guardian and live with her in the boards of the district twelve - her father died long ago and her mother fled to district four with her medical license to escape her griff and responsibility, which mean that the only one who was able to take on the role was sitting next to her.

“Effie” Haymitch’s house voice whispered. Usually didn’t use ‘Effie’ when they talked - ‘princess’ and ‘Eff’ came out of his mouth like vomit, he used ‘Euphemia’ when he wanted to tease her about things she found to be embracing and now he sometime called her ‘sunshine’ in this soft velvety tone that had the tendency to make her heart melt.

But ‘Effie’ was serious, when he called her ‘Effie’ it ment whatever he called her for is serious business.

She turned her head to face him and what she saw broke her heart - Haymitch’s body was stiff but his palms were trembling; his eyes red with stifled tears, his gaze is sad and tormented as If he was begging her to understand. He was the proper choice, Effie knew that and she would be the first to suggest Haymitch. But she also knew that Haymitch hasn't taken the responsibility just yet was because of her - because of their children and the family she promised him they had the chance of building.

How could I have done that to him? You had yo aroused such strong feelings of hope in him didn’t you? So much so that you hadn't even considered a possibility that one day he would be forced to return to District 12 - you hadn't even considered the possibility of it happening so soon.

How stupid could a person be?

Haymitch kept staring at her, yearning for her approval, even though she technically led him on - he still honored her by allowing her to make the final call. Effie didn’t saw any other way out of this nor that she wanted to find one - Haymitch had to do this, there wasn’t any other expectable option; she tried to convince herself that whatever happened, this is just a misstep - that however long it takes, the six of them will find a way to make this work and function as a family, even if it meant that… that they would once again be force away from one another for the perceivable future.

Effie nodded and before she could even blink, Haymitch rose up from the bench white as a ghost, determent as ever, lifted his arm in the air and declared in a loud, clear, and confident voice, as if to make sure that no one would doubt his intentions; one stray tear fell from her eye fell from her eye as his words echoed around the court room.

“My name is Haymitch Abernathy and I’m here to declare willingness to serve as Katniss Everdeen’s legal guardian.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 19: The Verdict

District Twelve, the train station, the Passenger platform.

The day after the Heavensbee’s hunger games afterparty was the day Effie took the train again to escorted Haymitch back to district Twelve, as he finished with his duties for the time being. And just like always, a car took them to the train platform as their train in to leave at exactly five in the afternoon.

But Never before she had to do it while carrying such big of a secret - literally.

She went to see her father for initial consultation regarding her… pregnancy. Confusion and uncertainty grew in her stomach alongside the baby, who according to her father both it and her were doing just fine.

Regardless of the good news, Effie haven’t had the faintest idea how to deal with this whole situation beyond the prospect of her medical care, in this case she would have followed her father’s instruction to the tea.  She never imagined herself as a mother, although Prosie might say otherwise - Effie didn’t really think she’d be a good one, her only experience with children is in preparing them to the hunger games.

And that’s a situation she desperately need to avoid.

This diagnosis would force her to change her life completely - she’d have to accommodate her life around the child and she would have to accommodate her child’s life as far as she is possibly could from Snow.

“You are all up in your thoughts again - ya got stuck or somthin’?” Haymitch slurred. As he announced at his wake in the very late morning he was still nursing a mean hangover as well as a fine bottle of some herbal liquor that smelled like something one use to mop the floor, but she would take this any day over the smell of vomit.

She rolled her eyes at him “well, someone have to be the responsible one between the two of us and make sure you would arrive home at one piece and as you are well aware, I do put a lot of thought and work into my duty.”

“Seems right, even in the Capitol People get pay for their skills” haymitch said bluntly as he took a gulp from his bottle.

And here they are at it again - perfect.

Usually, him delivering comments like this would make her retort back and defend her position, but now she welcomed it with opened arms - a sign that things might just appear normal to anyone who might just think of looking.

The two of them boarded the train and before Effie was able to open her mouth, Haymitch spoke, predicting exactly what she was about to say, mimicking her voice “don’t forget Haymitch, dinner at six, breakfast at eight or when I feel like getting up and our estimated arrival time is around four in the morning.” He left her no time to comment before he pivoted straight to the direction of the bar cart, leaving her to mind her business.

Good, having him far away would do the both of them some good. Having him looking at her with indifference or even contempt would do her secret a world of good. But at the same time, she longed for the storm in his eyes to be full of lust for her, she longed for his embrace and warmth so much it was nauseating.

Don’t be stupid Euphemia, you are pregnant - of course you’d feel the need to vomit, don’t blame Haymitch for this.

But He is the father though - technically its his fault! So he needs to be there and hold me in his arms and let me cry into his chest and kiss my temple and whisper adorable, silky sweet nonsense in my ear to make it up to me.

I need to tell him, I cannot hold it any longer! I’ll find the way to…

But apparently, the feeling of nausea that rose within her was in fact real - so she had to run straight to her private toilet to help her with the need to spill her guts out. When most of the content of her stomach was out, came the turn of her tears. She wanted to go back in time, to Haymitch’s house, to lay again in his bed, being wrapped up in a shield of sheets and his strong warm embrace. His nose would be buried in her nape, taking her in with every scene known to man.

She wanted the protection and sense of belonging she felt during those three days. She wanted Haymitch to hold her and tell her everything would be alright and would kiss and nape and nibble on her most sensitive places. Effie wished she could ask him to love her out of her own dread, she wished for a day where she wouldn’t have to share this… blessing? Curse? Miracle? She didn’t know how refer to the thing growing in her stomach just yet, only that her most sacred desire was for Haymitch to share this burden with her.

But The verdict would be devastating though - so she shouldn’t tell him, but how she wished so badly that she could.

Effie lifted herself from her bathroom floor to changed into a dress that was more comfortable but still appropriate for dinner that went along with her wig and went into the dinning cart for dinner.

Haymitch didn’t show up though and Effie once more tried to convince herself that this is for the better.

He didn't show up for breakfast either.

The only thing Effie aloud herself to do was to make sure he is not dead and making sure he was at least eating half of his serving.

When the train, she usually allowed him to sleep in he haven’t woken up by the train’s horn while she is sorting out everything to do with the dead bodies of their tributes and silently bribe whoever she could to make this process as quick and as respectable as it possibly can be within the scope of district twelve’s capabilities.

She turned to wake Haymitch up, who wasn’t that drunk at the moment, just a bit hangover, so he didn't need her to help him other then to pick him some clear and simple clothes, since she knew he didn't want to draw attention to himself after coming back home with no victor to show his great efforts and the grand matures he took for the small shot of a living tribute.

Haymitch exited his room and moved past her as he exited the train “Haymitch, wait!” Effie called as she followed him, trying to catch him before he leaves the station - she usually didn't have permission to leave the station when she escorted him back to the district, she might not have another chance.

He turned around to look at her, Effie could have sworn his eyes roamed her body and kept staring too long on her stomach before moving to her face. Maybe he knows? Maybe he heard her puking yesterday and he suspects? Maybe she could just… tell him.

But no confusion comes out of her mouth.

She feared too much of what the verdict might be if she will plead guilty and with child.

“Farewell Haymitch! Ill see you next time - and please try not to drink too much.” This is good - professional, pretentious and out of touch - exactly how she was expected to act, the perfect Capitol escort, a perfect piece in the game.

Haymitch nodded and said what he always said before he’d gone back to his house to consume more booze “yeah, looking forward to it, Eff.”

Effie watched him as he walked, forcing herself to stay put and not resist her need of him - she is not gonna get his comfort for the next year and this child will be born by the time she’d see him next so she wouldn’t need him to comfort her about this anymore, it would be too late.

She spends the rest of her train raid in her room, jumping in between the toilet, eating the room service she would order while in bed like a savage. When the sun went down she curdling Haymitch’s pillow that she stole from his room earlier, imagining it was him.

The Capitol, The Trinket estate.

“My name is Haymitch Abernathy and I’m here to declare willingness to serve as Katniss Everdeen’s legal guardian.”

And so, It was settled.

After signing a few papers and fixing the legalities, Haymitch would now serve as Katniss’s guardian, which ment that is a couple of days he would go with her back to twelve so she would be able to serve her sentence “free” to roam around the grave yard of what once was their home other then in a prison cell.

From what he heard, Twelve just barely started its long way for recovery - some people have managed to move back in from district Thirteen, and a few ‘cleaning’ crew were send over there to start burying the dead and the victors village remained mostly intact, so they at least have somewhere decent to live in.

But for the most parts, district twelve was still no where near inhabitable, the train lines are still not working and unless you were granted a permit and have a hovercraft on your disposal - you wouldn’t be able to travel all the way to twelve.

It ment he would have to leave Effie and the kids behind.

He wasn’t even hesitating when the though to step in crossed his mind in that cursed court room, he knew that it was his duty to Katniss and the only thing that could have been done. But right before he lifted his hand, he met Effie’s eyes, knowing deep down that he cannot afford himself to act on his own for the sake of their team - their family. Before the verdict, they were suppose to… start something together.

So he need to take into consideration not just his own gut, but also the opinion of the people he loves the most - especially his right hand of the part twenty five years. Haymitch knew Effie could read him in that moment, nobody knew him better then she did. He gave her a pleading look, asking her to let him say the words, to offer himself, cause he wouldn’t be able to act without knowing she stood by him on this.

He didn’t want to do this without her approval or without her support, he needed her to give him the confirmation that he wasn’t making the same mistake once more.

Finally after what seemed like forever but couldn’t last more them a few seconds, Effie gave him the smallest of nods, her eyes glinted with urgency, as if she knew too it was the only way to go.

They were still there outside of the court room, sitting in silence on a bench near the entrance, trying to process everything. Peeta was escorted back to the mansion for mandatory therapy while they were supposed to and pick up the kids from Effie’s Pa’s house - they promised them to go back to Effie’s apartment and retrieve some of their stuff once they are done with the trail…

How funny is that? Only a year ago he couldn’t wait to go back to the home with not one but two living kids and no wooden coffins. Now? He didn’t want to move an inch from where he was, dread filled him at the thought of leaving Peeta, Helena, Jannaeus and Effie behind.

“You did the right thing, Haymitch” Effie blurred out in a quite monotone voice as she put her palm on his shoulder and rubbed it lightly with her thumb, trying to sooth him. Shivers ran sown his spine as a response - somehow her warmth soothe his tight muscles in a way even booze couldn’t. When He turn his face to her direction, he saw remittence of tears stained her lovely face, now full of sorrow, drained of the smiles and hope of the days before.

Haymitch lifted his hand and wiped her cheek with the back of his finger.

He didn’t know what to say to her.

He felt like a fool for making her promises he couldn’t possibly keep and his only excuse could be that for a mere second he believed, he wished that a future is possible for them.

So his hopelessness blurred itself out “Its over Eff.”

“Its not over til I say its over - ill find a way” Effie blurred out right back.

The only thing that could make him any less miserable was to see Effie all in the mission which was a sign she is getting better - her nightmares were almost not occurring, her wounds are healing, her body is getting stronger. She is still not willing to open up on what she went through in prison, but for now he let her reserve some privacy - she’ll talk when she’d want to. That was one of the reasons that regardless of finally understanding how he felt for her, he didn’t made any physical move other then a brush of a palm here, a touch on her cheek there or a hug when she needed it.

He though they’d have the time to figure it out.

But life had other plans.

Right now, they had work to do.

Right now, Haymtich was all in on his dread and everything was still fresh as if it was just plucked from ground “Eff I… you know how much I admire your drive and I’m sure you’ll find your way - because you always do” her face became grim when she answered back “what are you trying to say?”

Haymitch sighed deeply ”that its all just… too fresh for me and I know neither of us can think clearly - were both on the eade her, princess” Effie crossed her arms and averted her gaze, not saying a word. Haymitch cupped her cheek so she would look at him honestly I don’t what to talk about this anymore, we have two days to process it all. Don’t get me wrong, Effie - I trust you to… work out your magic, there is no one I trust more - just don’t try and build the building on the spot when we are still wrapped up in shock - Right now I think the best thing for us to do is just to go and pick up our kids and show them some good time like we promised them.”

The look in Effie’s eyes was full of wallow acceptance “We’ll have to tell them eventually”

Haymitch nodded “We will, don’t worry” suddenly he felt the need to tease her a bit, the thought caused him to smirk “but not before Jannaeus and Helena will walk me around your apartment I was promised a grand tour all around the parameter, with an exclusive first time detailed experience inside your bedroom.”

He hit his bicep in fondness and tried to laugh it off, but Haymitch could see redness starting to decorate her cheeks “did they now? Really? I don’t remember receiving a request for visitors - even the children knows to ask two days in advance.”

“Don’t worry, sunshine, we are acting on principals of consent here” he laughed and winked to her, getting a soft tired smile out of her.

They took the The armored vehicle that Plutarch had arranged for them - the city was still unsafe for people of their status, especially after Peeta said that a man suspected of being him had been lynched - despite the obvious lack of imagination between the two individuals. Haymitch didn't take any risks - the only risk he was willing to take was letting Effie drive the massive car, which turned out to be the right decision because she was a pretty good driver and he didn't know how to drive.

When they reached to Ernest Trinket’s estate, the gate automatically opened and Effie parked the car in the yard outside of the building. Effie used her key to open the door and announced their arrival and Helena and Effie’s father came up from the downstairs infirmary, his girl was looking especially adorable dressed on a miniature version of her grandfather’s medical robe. “Mom, dad!” Heleni called and jumped onto Haymitch’s neck for a well deserved hug.

Haymitch picked her up into a hug and she buried her face in his nape “It looks like you had a good time” haymitch asked, trying not to let her see how foul his mood. Heleni nodded enthusiastically “I helped Grandfather in the infirmary today - I took notes, I organized the equipment and I sterilized all the tools!”

Only Effie’s daughter could find joy in cleaning and organization.    

“With those type of skills I’m sure you’d be a great doctor” Haymitch said it, trying to encourage his daughter even though he didn’t have the faintest idea why she found joy in sterilizing tools. “Grandpa said so too!”

“Did he now? Well, It have to be the truth then. Good job kiddo!” He kissed her temple and put her down. “Are we going to our home, mom?” Helena asked Effie who stood behind them “yes, dear - we’ll go there in about fifteen minutes and pick up some things before we would go back to the mansion, so do please go and fetch your brother so we can go? I know you are both are looking forward to it - do we better do it fast before dark” Helena nodded and went up the stairs to call Jannaeus. Effie used the moment where there was no child around to update her father that Haymitch was about to go to district twelve to be Katniss’s guardian. Also to make him aware what both Effie and him agreed upon during the car ride - after Katniss and Haymitch will leave, Effie and the kids, including Peeta will arrive at the Trinket estate, since they felt it would be the more stable option as the politic position is still forming.

Haymitch didn’t quite get the look Effie’s father gave him, or maybe he did and he just didn’t want to acknowledge the truth that shoots daggers at him ever since the war started - you failed to protect my daughter, you failed to keep her safe and now you run off and leave her all alone once more.

Ive made the greatest of mistakes in that regard, sir.

If id had another chance - I would do everything to make sure Effie would have never left my sight and made sure she was by my side when the hovercraft to distract thirteen came to pick us up.

And I hope ill get to spend the rest of my life to prove to her that I won’t ever make that mistake again.

Jannaeus and Helena ran down the stairs towards them and Jannaeus, like his sister before him, jumped from the stairs so Haymitch’s arms “how is my best boy? Did you had a good day” Haymitch asked as he ruffled his hair “Ive read ‘Nils’ again and another book about water birds I found the library yesterday” Haymitch wasn’t surprised - ever since he finished this ’Nils’ book - the one with the geese on the cover, that was all he wanted to read about - those birds, how they fly, when they sleep and if they are really take tiny people on a trip across the world; apparently, geese weren’t as popular pets in the Capitol as some of the weird creature he saw over the years, so his son was mesmerized by them.

Just like Lenore Dove.

he couldn’t remember the last time the image of her popped up in his brain; two, three weeks ago maybe? So much has happened during this time, so much things have changed for the better and for the worst and after finally following by her deathbed wish - the image that came to his mind now seemed less accusatory and a lot calmer, mixing with  his son enthusiasm, it was soothing in a way - more then the gut ranching of the past anyway.

And since in two days he will be forced to let them go - Haymitch would take any piece of pleasantry he could get.

The drive to Effie’s place served as a show case of the damaged that the city has suffered from thirteen’s bombings and the city shape shifted into an arena, the street was now just a Piles upon piles of rubble, scraps of concrete and iron were all that remain of this area that he could identify as having beautiful once - a bit of grass and a fountain, and according to the only random tree that managed to survive, an avenue surrounded by trees that provided some kind of shade.

He tried not to drag his mind into gloating to escape the gloominess in his heart. It wouldn’t be fair for Effie and the kids - that was their home after all, they wound Never gloat on his loss. Haymitch was happy that Effie was able to raise them in a good environment, but it didn’t mean that Haymitch felt anymore sorry for this city then he felt before.

Effie’s apartment seemed intact in comparison to other buildings in the area but since there was no electricity - they had to take the stairs up the tenth floor and it reminded him that he really need to of something about his endurance. As Effie opened the door with her manual key, the kids burst inside and ran straight in “you can bring anything that fits inside you suitcases unless its sharp” Effie called in their direction “and ill pack your clothing in a minute or so” A double 'all right mom’ echoed throughout the apartment.

The apartment wasn’t as big as the penthouse, it was a similar size to the apartment they were brought into during his games but far more pleasant - as expected it was colorful, but not over powering, could be because of the multiple wood surfaces within her use in her signature green and lavender palette. He saw the photos that hang trout the hallway, each of them was put inside delicate frames, meticulously showcasing Helena and Jannaeus over the years - from bring tiny babies with just one tooth each to some that looked pretty recent, but the one the caught his eye the most featured Effie, who stood behind them as they blew six candles that set on top of a beautiful decorated cake that was shaped like a heart “Its from their fifth birthday” Effie said in a quite voice from the entrance to the hallway.

“But there are six candles on that cake, or I’m just imagining things?” Haymitch pointed out.

“Oh that” Effie pointed to the picture “is a family tradition, I’m not sure where it came from though.”

“Why to put another candle on a cake? Seems a bit wasteful.”

“I guess it is; from what I remember, the extra candle is suppose to represent the birthday that comes after. When I think about it, after someone blow out their candles, we would usually sing “May you be graced to see the coming year, and walk the measure of one hundred and twenty.”

“It sounds like something that should have been sang in the districts” Haymitch pointed out “without the extra candle though”.

“It is a bit strange, but great aunt Messalina insisted we’d do this and it got stuck - mainly because people wanted to be as close as they could to her plate if you know what I mean. Only after your games the true meaning sinked in.”

Because most of the people they knew did not make It to the next year.

“Haymitch, I think we need to have a chat” he turned his gaze to her direction “about what?” He asked.

She sighed “I know we have a lot of… baggage to handle right now but I think we have to address this now. We have a few things we need to discuss in regards to the children and how we will managed raising them while…”

While being apart.

This was the last thing Haymitch wanted to discuss - establishing rules and agreements makes it real and even though they did that sort of talk plenty of times in the past two weeks, doing this now felt like pouring acid inside the ever-growing hole in his heart.

As his silence, Effie continued talking “honestly haymitch, this is the last thing I want to think about, but you wanted to be involved in their lives, the children want you to be involved in their life… and so do I, very much. I want you should have a say - and I’d be honest and honored if you’d keep granting me the privilege of being a their parent with me”

the look that she gave him including a small sad smile that broke his heart.

You want this, you wanted this so bad and now you try to avoid it because its hard? You haven’t learn anything haven’t you? And the kids want this too… and Effie want you to be there too even though you don’t deserve for her to want you anywhere near them.

The underline feeling hit him like an arrow to the heart - Effie does not have to take him into consideration, he is the one who is leaving. But she does consider him, not just because its the right thing to do, but because she wants him to be in their life, she asks him with this humble tone he had never saw her use before - she is practically begging him to do this with he

And he never saw Effie trinket begging for anyone.

She shouldn’t beg for his time and effort - he should give it without any reason.

Effie deserves every piece of effort he have in his body and then some.

“I know you wanted to talk about this later, but I’m afraid that the schedule for tomorrow would be packed and…” Effie resumed her explanation but Haymitch cut her off gently “I want this too…if you’ll have me, I will be a part of their life - even if for the time being… I have to… not being with you physically.”

Her smile had became brighter and her eyes glistened “I’m glad, truly” she said quietly “so this is why I think Its only appropriate to establish some things we as parents need to follow, how we went to parent them - some ground rules to have, regardless if we are apart  or not. And since you are in the known about your fatherhood now - you have a say in how we should go by in the day to day. Parenting, as you came to understand, is an endless labor - we have to make a call about the urgent issues, the topics that we would not budge from and the rest will follow through.”

“Eff I’m… not sure what I’m supposed to say, or I was supposed to view the whole thing. Most of the time I followed the things you establish from before and put my foot down when it came to their safety.”

And it’s not like I’m going to act by those rules when you’re not there with me.

“How about i’ll give you some of my non negotiable that are important to me and you will make your own values based on that or add to them when you find its necessary?”

“Yeah, I think it would help” he answered.

“The most important thing is for us to be present as much as possible - I personally need to know who they talk to and what they consume and to where they are going - which I believe we are on the same mind about this. Its not from a place of nagging, its just to make sure they won’t be getting into troubles that I did not manage to stop on time. But I do not judge then either - its important for me to treat them as smart and cable as they are and to ask what has driven their choices and to make sure they understand why I do not allow of certain things.”

“Makes sense.” Haymitch muttered.

“And also, Im sorry I’m opening this up but in general I do not allow substance of any kind around them - I let the last time you drank right before the ceremony pass because of the sensitive situation - but from now on we cannot allow ourselves to to rely on substances or even carry them around the house. I know this time will be difficult for us, but I need you to promise me you won’t be drinking anymore.”

Well, that was to be expected.

“You’ve done so great for the past couple of weeks, but it would be difficult for a while and I want you to at least try to find another way to cope because I don’t want our children to be around that’s kind of coping mechanism, I do not want them to think this is in any way an option - I want to protect them from what you had to go through.”

You are my coping mechanism, you have no idea how much light you brought to my life, so much so its blinding - you are my addiction, sunshine.

And being an alcoholic is nothing in comparison of getting of from the high of you.

“I have something to stop drinking for now, don’t I? Ill do my best Eff, promise.”

Effie nodded in satisfaction, but her smile faltered “I wish you didn't have to leave” suddenly Haymitch felt the need to embrace her, so he did, Effie buried her face in his chest and he rested his chin on top of her head “I wish I didnt have to leave - I wish I could hav taken you with me.”

“Dad is leaving?” Jannaeus asked suddenly, surprising them both, causing them to release their hold on each other “what do you mean dad is living? To where?” Helena chimed in. Haymitch looked at Effie as he knew the moment has come.

They will have to tell their children that they’re not gonna see their dad for the foreseeable future.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20: The Longing

The district twelve’s meadow…?

‘Are you… are you… coming to the tree?’

“Lenore dove? Lenore dove! Where are you my love!?” Haymitch stood in Her meadow, that now felt eerily lifeless, the most uncalled for green surrounded him as the voice of his girl’s voice echoed all around him - all he wanted was to have it echoed in his ear while his nose is buried in her nape, so he called her names as loud as he could, begging her to show herself and bring peace with her.

But she kept on singing.

‘Where they strung up a man… they say murdered three. Strange things did happen here… No stranger would it be…”

“I came back to you! From the old there before! I told you we will meet again!” Haymitch called into the air “and I will never leave you again just please, tell me where you are!”

'If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree…”

Lenore dove’s voice echoed once more and Haymitch suddenly noticed a beam of light that poked  in between the tree trunks. He had this feeling brewing inside that in this light laid his heart’s desire - the song and the warmth of his love. He got closer and closer to the light and her voice became stronger and stronger, closer and closer to his ear.

‘Are you… are you… Coming to the tree… Where I told you to run…so we'd both be free…’

Haymitch ran as fast as he could towards the light and the voice, luring him deeper and deeper into the woods that has became less and less dense. His girl’s name comes out in between his panting of exhaustion, as he felt as if his journey took him an eternity - every part of his body was sore and aching, every now and again he could feel an invisible force hit him with unbelievable force, as if its trying to keep him away and like hell he would let that happened.

Cause its worth it, when he finally see her - In a clearing of the forest, she stood there tall and dead on the mound. The warm light enveloped her, as if nature had recognized her rarity and was there to help her radiate and shine even brighter. Her voice was crystal clear now and oh so mesmerizing, Haymitch couldn’t help himself but being lured in - even though his feet felt as if he stepped on millions upon millions of knives that cut into him, he did not give a damn because all he wanted was her.

‘Strange things did happen here… No stranger would it be…If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree…Haymitch’   

As she sang, she turned and gazed right into him. the red highlights of her hair glowed like fire, her eyes full of warmth. He made his way towards her and finally he was able to hold her in his arms and bury his face in her hair that was soft as silk. Her body was warm and smelled like heaven. he moved his hands up and down her back and her arms, to make sure he is not hallucinating her again.

But she was real and right here with him.

“Like fire… I love you like all fire… my songbird… my dove” he planted kisses on her nape and had the urge to lift her in his arms and take her home, but apparently he lost his barring because he found herself with his head in Lenore dove’s lap. She stroked his hair with her delicate fingers, sanding pleasant shivering down his spine as she looked lovingly.

“Why so quite my love?” He reached for her face to wipe what he thought was tears with his bruised knuckles, she smiled sadly but did not utter a word. Was she angry with him for not keeping up on his promise just yet? Was his dove ashamed of him? He for sure does.

In sobriety as well in his current state of disorientation haymitch couldn’t fathom why anyone would see him in any other way but the unlucky useless and drunken failure that he was.

He couldn’t fathom why Effie is still sticking by him after everything he put her through.

And he couldn’t fathom the thought of Lenore dove feeling ashamed to have him

“I wish I could have done more… I wish I could have…please don’t give up on me! Honor me with your songs, love… sing for me once more, just this one time…please my love…don’t give up on me… grant me your song…please…” suddenly Lenore dove put a finger onto his lips, making him stop his bagging. With her other hand still playing with his hair, he was in a state of absolute peace when his songbird sang to him.

The Train back to district twelve, after the 66th annual Hunger Games

“You’ve done so well my love, but you need to sleep now, even the most mighty warriors need to sleep.”

Effie tried to rise up from the floor so she could help him back to bed, but Haymitch grabbed her wrist “no! Don’t leave me! My one and only dove…don’t leave me…” Haymitch cried all while holding her wrist in a death grip and looking at her as if by staying she would be redeeming him from all forms of suffering. Effie’s heart clenched and she almost choked back her tears, but the now familiar pang in her breasts brought her back to reality and reminded her the reason she was awake in this uncalled for hour.

Ever since the birth of her children - their children - almost four month ago, Effie’s life felt as if she never physically left the train. Taking care on two babies as a single parent is without a doubt the hardest thing she ever took upon herself - not to mention adding her escort duties on top of this.

Though it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Effie did not regret her decision to be their mother - to say that she loved them would be an understatement. She was so smitten with Helena and Jannaeus to the point of wanting to devour their chubby little cheeks as she planted kisses on them. She found herself watching them sleep for hours in between doing her chores, trying to catch the moments of their growth before they escaped her. She brought a tiny camera and was taking pictures of them everyday because Effie could have swore that they look different with every day that passes.

Her favorite thing though was, to her utter surprise - was breastfeeding her little ones.

At first it didn’t even came to mind - no one is breastfeeding anymore in the Capitol and it was considered an ancient act to perform in public, something that is more fitted in the districts where they do not have they still live like barbaric neanderthals.

Not that Effie gave a damn about that.

But From her point of view, breastfeeding was completely impractical to be woven in with the way she ran her life up to that point - she was a career woman who she was expected to bounce back to work as soon as she was cured from her “medical emergency”. She feared that dealing with leaking breasts in the middle of the hosting the reaping, for example, would come in the way of her performance and will showcase the fact that she was the one who was pregnant and not her sister - bringing way too much unwanted attention onto her and the newborns, Effie did not want to take any risks.

But her father insisted - for the health of the babies, he said. So She took his words for it.

And fell in love with the ritual she got to share with Helena and Jannaeus every three hours. So much so that when the 66th games approached, Effie refused to take the pills her father gave her to dry her milk. It required her to over pump the usual consumption and prepare at least a two month reserve of her milk to be used in her absence, which ment by the time of the reaping she produced more milk them before. She had to pump her breasts and throw her children’s precious milk down the toilet whenever she had the chance to to avoid leaks - both literal and figurative.

So she had to do it even during the night.

At least there would be only one more night other then this one to follow this exulting and frustrating routine.

Effie took care of her usual night regiment and changed into her nightgown before connecting the wireless pump to her breasts. She picked up the usual paperwork that handled the unfortunate necessity of bringing this year dead tributes to proper burial and began reading while marking important information. Just as she reached the documents of her male tribute and when half of the pump’s container was filled with milk - she heard a loud bang coming from the seating car.

Ladies and gentlemen - Its the Haymitch hour!

She disconnected the pump and got in here right at the moment where he accidentally dropped the bottle he was holding. He was walking towards her bare chested and barefoot - right in the path where the shards from his bottle fell on the floor “Haymitch don’t! you’d cut…” but haymitch didn’t seem to mind - he stepped straight on the glass and his feet began bleeding into the train’s carpet. He seemed to be in some sort of haze - not an unfamiliar territory for her, but she now from experience that she’d have to woven herself into the story he builded inside his own head  somehow in order to convince him to go back to bed.

Effie was so used to this routine of theirs by now that it took her a moment to notice and to fully understand the look on his face, or even believe that he does - that was the exact way he looked at her when they had sex the year before. A look that Effie believed to convey the some positive emotions he felt towards her, how he enjoyed their shared oasis as much as she did - a look of bliss.

She would even dare to assume that… when he looked at her like that, he might just felt a little bit of peace.

Suddenly he lunched at her and collected her into his arms and buried his nose in her hair, murmuring words she couldn’t understand before he started planting warm kisses on her neck.

And Effie almost cried from how good it felt.

In his arms and under his touch it finally daunted on her how truly lonely she felt doing all of this without him - the stress over the pregnancy, the stress that came after the great high of understanding she had twins, the struggle of raising the two of them by herself. Each kiss ended shivers down her back and down to her core, Her unusually large breasts and her oversensitive Nipples rubbed against his bare chest making her moan in satisfaction.

But it was more than lust for sex to her - after the twins were born, no one could have convinced her to have sex ever again. Effie was aching all over, her body was swollen and droopy and leaking stuff from places she never imagined had the capacity to do so. Besides, she did not want to risk her getting pregnant again - not when she had two helpless infants that depend on her.

His touch felt worthy to ten and thousands of unspoken words, like a confession, the love declaration she know he was never going to speak out loud in fear of being discovered by president Snow, so he is showing to her how he feels instead.

Which was her favorite way for love to be expressed.

Well Haymitch is my kind of man after all.

Effie let herself melt into his kisses and into him lifting her up in his arms like a virgin bride as his head still buried in her neck. She waited for him to carry her back to his bed - or her bed, she didn't mind at that moment - when he clarified who this love was really intended for.

“Like fire… I love you like all fire… my songbird… my dove.”

Lenore dove - of course. Who else would be able to pull this sappy adorable and oh so sweet version of Haymitch from inside of the melancholy drunk?

And he is thinking of his Girl while he unknowingly is kissing her neck.

Self hated couldn’t even being to define how dirty she felt.

He was still touching her and kissing her in a way that made her want more, but his statement brought her back to sobriety, making her want to go back to her bed and bury herself inside her blanket and not to wake up. Effie tried to wriggle out of his hold, causing him to lose his barring and  sanding both of them to the floor. Tears had started to run down Effie’s face; she wanted to blame her still hormonal state but deep down she understood that a heartbreak is not a side effect of pregnancy - its just how life works.

She gave her heart to a drunk - no wonder he dropped it.

Who is she kidding? Its non of his fault - its all on her for not stopping this before it got to this point; biased, Haymitch’s feet are bleeding, his injury needed to be addressed.

Somehow, Haymitch’s head found its way to her lap - He still looked at her with love and adoration.

No, Effie reminded herself, he looks at Lenore dove with love and adoration - not at her. Effie hoped she wouldn’t have to play along this particular timeline for long, being in the position of the imaginary consolation prize was so not up her ally - but how low she sinked when she knew that if being his consolation lover was an option she would have taken it?

Suddenly she felt Haymitch’s hand brushing her cheek “why so quite my love?”

How could she even being to answer this question? Was it even her question to answer? He clearly wanted Lenore dove to speak to him, but she is dead so… “I know we… haven’t done this before… but I thought you’d feel good… at least it felt good when Effie and I…”

Well, at least there was that - he seemed to have been felt good when he was with her and not like she forced herself on him.

“I know I promised to wait for you… but… I needed Effie… I’m so sorry Lenore dove - I needed Effie!” Effie was on the edge of bursting as he spoke, not expecting her name to come up “no… I’m not sorry! I’m not sorry for… I was so cold and the princess was so… so warm and she was afraid -  she was afraid… not of me… but for me…and she needed me too! For a moment I… wasn’t alone anymore…” stray tear fell from his glazed eyes, Effie wiped it, still she wasn’t able to utter even one word as she tried not to chock on her own tears.

Haymitch didn’t seem to hold the same control over his emotions when he mumbled as the tears kept on streaming down his cheeks “I wish I could have done more… I wish I could have…please don’t give up on me! Honor me with your songs, love… sing for me once more, just this one time…please my love…don’t give up on me… grant me your song…please…” Effie put her pointer finger to his lips, which seemed to calm him down an in instant and shifted his focus to her face - still thinking its Lenore dove.

But Effie ignored the ping of jealousy in her heart, knowing it wouldn’t do her any good.

This is how Haymitch truly felt and who is she to judge that?

Besides, it seemed that Haymitch at least said he needs her in his life and that he at least wanted to try and be of assistance the same way.

Right now it was enough.

“You’ve done so well my love, but you need to sleep now, even the most mighty warriors need to sleep.” Effie tried to rise up from the floor so she could help him back to bed, but Haymitch grabbed her wrist “no! Don’t leave me! My one and only dove…don’t leave me…”

“Im not going to leave you Haymitch.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

Effie felt another stabbing sensation in her chest and she was almost certain the milk has started to leak through her nightgown - fantastic - and the fact that her nipples were still tingling from being rubbed against haymitch’s chest didn’t help.

So she tried a different approach “We need to go to bed now, its getting late”  Effie whispered but haymitch franticly nodded no “I don’t wanna… it would kill you… it would take you away from me once more!”

Her thumb moved in gentle circle on his cheek to try and sooth him “I need to bandage your feet and we both need a good night sleep.”

“Sleep next to me, right here!” Haymitch called aloud, making Effie trying to shush him gently.

“Ill sleep next to you - but only in a proper bed!” Effie answered.

“There aren’t no beds in the meadow my love… you know that!” Haymitch caught suddenly, poking his finger into her waist as id he just told the funniest joke.

He think he is in a meadow - the meadow where district twelve bury their dead? Why would he want to be there? Never mind.

“There is a bed in my house - my bad, that would be okay?”  Effie asked and Haymitch’s eyes lit with excitement and awe “i’d… be honored…”

He finally got up from the floor and with her help he was finally back in his room and tucked into his bed. When Effie came back into the room after grabbing the first aid kit from her room she heard haymitch mumbled some incoherent words into his pillow which continued as she was done bandaging and removing the shards of glass from the sole of his feet.

“You know… I think one of your’e geese took a piss on yo sheets again cause damn its stinks in here!” Effie could not believe Haymitch was so waisted that he spoke like that to who he thought was the love of his life, so she chose not to react.

“Lenore dove…Lenore dove? Where are yo…” he panicked and has began to move from side to side trying to locating the long dead girl.

“Im right here Haymitch” she took his palm in his hand and kissed the back of it.

“Sing to me… we are alone now… sing to me my love… I wanna hear your voice.”

His request put her in a tough position - she didn’t knew any of Lenore dove songs and by singing something else she would break the illusion - and that might just cause a disaster.

Not to mention that she wanted out of her milk-stained nightgown, that served as a reminder of how alone she was in that moment - to be removed from her body as soon as possible.

“Haymitch I…”

“I know you don’t like it… you can hum…Effie does it when she cakes her face up… she thinks I don’t know… I just wanna here your voice… my love.”

Effie couldn’t believe he actually noticed that.

As her broken heart filled with some sense of warmth that eased her pain only a tiny bit, she sighed as she lifted her hand to his hair and hummed a random tune like she does when she puts on her makeup every morning - as if this tune was the recipe for the mask itself to being able to fool the outsider from trying to look inside.

Haymitch fell asleep looking somehow content and Effie hurried to her room, pumped the rest of the milk into the trash and went straight to the shower to rub of the smell of her breast milk and Haymitch of off her body. She finally let her tears come out as the wished, as what happened tonight proved to her that regardless of how much they shared - their paths would never come to a cross point.

She could only hoped for a glimpse of his orbit as it move through sky, out of reach.

The Train back to district twelve, after the 66th annual Hunger Games

“Why can’t dad stay with us?” Jannaeus Asked Effie, his voice trembling “our house is big enough, so you don’t have to sleep in mom's room. We even have enough room for Katniss and Peeta.” The boy gave him a pleading look and Heleni hurried to ask “don’t you want to live with us?” She asked, her big blue eyes land on Haymitch.

Their questions were shattering Haymitch’s heart into a million million pieces.

He never thought he would have children of his own. When Lenore dove died - she took that dream with her. Now, Haymitch got the chance to be a part of the life of children he can call his own - only now he was about to say goodbye to them, before even getting the chance to truly get to know them outside of their shared room.

What was he supposed to say to that? He felt as If he betrayed them.

“It isn’t you fathers' choice” Effie chimed in, just in time when he had to catch his breath. “Remember when I told you that during game season, my Job is to take care of my tributes since they come to our city without their parents?” The children nodded “like you take care of us” Jannaeus Completed her words.

“Thats correct, my love” Effie said “your father and I shared that duty for a long time, always temporarily until they died in the games” Effie choked a breath, looking sadder then Haymitch would have liked but he knew it wasn’t the right moment to try and offer comfort. “Last year Katniss and Peeta won the games, which means both me and your father have the honor to be by their side for good and take care of them, just like have the honor to be your parents and take care of you.”

“But why can’t they stay with us? Why do they have to go to district Twelve? They can’t live there, it’s full of… dust!” The Definition of dust was to Haymitch's relief, vague – but that was his sign to chime in to the conversation – taking this chance to be their father, at least once. He got down on his knees to his kids' level “Katniss did something that she had to do but is against the law. Her punishment was to be locked up, unless a parent could be responsible for her.”

“But Katniss already had a mom, we know that – we saw them together in the Hole!” Helena said with anger “why her mom can’t go with her? Why you need to go?” Teardrops of sadness falling from her eyes.

Haymitch couldn’t bear it

He held his arms for a hug, and both ran towards him and crashed into his chest. “Katniss’s mom is not able to take care of her at the moment, and Katniss is family - and family helps each other out.”

Don’t cry in front of them Haymitch, be brave for them.

“Her mom is a bad person” Jannaeus sniffled into the crick of Haymitch’s neck “you don’t leave family behind, you don’t leave you family all alone.”

As his son spoke, Haymitch was amazed by The fact that he manages to contribute to the creation of those two smart ass kids - and that he is lucky enough to enjoy even the small glimpse of them.“Katniss’s Ma is not a bad person… she is very sad because her other daughter - Katniss’s younger sister - had died. But you are right on one thing kiddo - its not the right thing to do, to leave your family stranded like that.” Haymitch said as a he chocked on his tears. “Even when neither your mother and I could not take care of you for times - for a long time, even from before you were born I.. I was in a bad state, I couldn’t be the father you needed, so your mother took care of you, right?”

Well for once, he didn’t know he had kids back then, but it was not like he was in any state to take care of anyone back them - but they nodded, accepting his explanation - so that was a good sign.

“And when Snow has taken your mother away from us? Who took care of you?” They looked at each other before Jannaeus murmured Plutarch's name “right… mister Heavensbee did, even though he is not your parent. Same with Katniss - she is a part of our family and unfortunately she doesn’t have her mom here with her to take care of her- so now, it is mine and your mothers turn to take charge.”

The kids began to whip onto his nape and his grip on their small figures tightened “Katniss and Peeta can come to live with us too… we have enough space and Peeta could sleep in my room” Helena suggested, forcing a laugh out of the two adults. Effie patted their daughter’s hair as she delivered the hard truth “I’m afraid that only Peeta would be able to stay with us, you father and Katniss have to go back to District twelve.”

“When you will be back?” Jannaeus whispered into Haymitch’s nape.

“I… don’t know if ill be back to the city anytime soon, buddy” Haymitch replied quietly and Effie quickly chimed in while giving him a look “but we will figured out a way to be together once more, right Haymitch?” 

There is nothing that he wished for more then the future Effie tried to paint - but being hopeful wasn’t his forte, his experience taught him that much.

But for his family’s sake, he was willing to pretend he has a shiver of hope left to spare.

He brought his hands to his kids cheeks and said quietly “yeah, we will find a way.”

Effie’s breath hitched Suddenly, causing Haymitch to turn his look towards her in worry “are you okay Eff?” He shifted his body towards her and took her right hand in his. Effie nodded lightly she lifted his sleeve up a bit to reveal his wrist that was decorated by the battered gold bangle that by this point had become a part of him that he never took off, she examined the bangle as if she wasn’t the one to choose it for him, as if it was brand new. When she finished and asked him in disbelief “Did you really kept it all this time?”

Her eyes looked straight into his in the softest of gazes, making his heart flatter ״Yes, of course I did”

“Isn’t It Finnick’s bangle? The one he wore during the last games?” Jannaeus ask, pointing out the bangle debut, making Haymitch feel almost insulted - by his nine year old boy. “No son its mine, your ma gave it to me - I let Finnick borrow it so Katniss knows he is her ally in the games.”

“So You have something to remind you of mom - but not from us! Well, That is not fair!” Helena pointed out “You need to take something of us - so you won’t forget us!” Before Haymitch started to explain that that is not a possibility, Helena took Jannaeus’s hand and dragged him towards the hallway; Haymitch tried to get up and go after them but Effie, who was still holding his wrist, stopped him on his tracks.

“Let them be, this is their way to handle everything. Its that they express their emotions in this way other then screaming and crying” Effie expelled calmly.

“But they do this cause they think I’m going to forget them - how is this better?”

Effie hesitated for a moment “because they understand there is nothing they can do to keep you here now, because Katniss needs you. They came up with a solution that included Katniss - because they understand she is a part of their family. They didn’t shout or cried more then they should - because they don’t want to be a bother to us. This is their way to have a little control on a situation where even the adults in their life cannot control.”

Just like Haymitch had this uncontrollable urge to put responsibly upon Sid at the time, like how at first he didn’t want Maysilee to touch his flint striker, and like how she insisted to eat her sandwich with a fork and knife - because it was the only thing they could have done.

Haymitch sighed and nodded and went to sit on the sofa, hurried his head in his hands, feeling a bit woozy all of a sudden; Effie hurried and set on the single chair next to it, allowing him some space. “I don’t want to forget them” Haymitch murmured quietly, the words coming out of his mouth uncontrollably “but this is all I’ve ever tried to do… to forget - but I don’t… want them to think I would - ever!” He lifted his head and locked Effie’s hand in his “I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to… forget me either. Its not like you need me - You’ve done well without me, you were safer without me around; but I… still don’t want you to forget about me.”

Effie lifted her other hand to his face “ill say it one time only so you better listen - the children adore you, they want you in their life and more then that - they need you in their life. Didn’t you noticed how they look up to you? You impact on their life in unchangeable - even without me there to remind them about you, they would never forget their father.”

Her words ease his aching heart a bit, but one question crossed his mind.

“And… what about you?” Haymitch asked hesitantly.

The smile she gave him was the embodiment of sunshine on a rainy day, as the light hits the deep surfaces and flickers and as the water breaks the light and its spreads out in the waved of a rainbow.

“Even Snow could not make that happened - so some time away from each other couldn’t make me forget you, its the in between time - just like every year.”

How do you do that, sunshine? How with just your words you lift me up like no other? After what you said just now - how can I let you go?

How can I let you go again - like every year - as if its just another goodbye?

Effie removed her palm from his face suddenly - taking with her the present tingles of warmth - when he noticed the kids came back rushing to the living room where they set. “We couldn’t make up our mind of what to give you” Helena said, her hands fidgeted behind her back as if she hid something back there “so we though that the easiest way not to forget someone is to see him everyday when you wake up!” She pulled a small frame and inside there was a photo, similar to the one in the hallway, with Effie standing behind the kids as the blow off the candles, but Helena and Jannaeus seemed older “this is from our birthday last year” Jannaeus explained “so this is the most similar to how we look now.”

“Thank you… Thank you so much, this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten; come here” Haymitch opened his arms and the two of them jumped into his hug.

“And for us” Jannaeus lifted his hand “we couldn’t find a photo of you alone so we took the one from mom’s room” Jannaeus showed it to him - it was of him and Effie in Heavensbee game afterparty, in the year that Finnick won, he could recall because of Effie’s blue dress.

Where Effie’s father came and assured her that -

That she was pregnant.

With their children.

“Helena and Jannaeus - what have I told you about sneaking into your room?” Effie called out, making Haymitch laugh with surprise “oh come on Eff, they didn’t do anything bad - let them be” he teased her with her own words, making her frown. “Well, we do not have time to waist, you need to help me with the heavy language and you two” she pointed to her children “go finish packing, we need to be out of here in twenty minutes, curfew starts in an hour.”

And with that, each of them went to their given tasks, and they finished just in time to cross the presidential mansion right before the gates were closed.

The next morning was a hard one.

Since both him and Effie did not know what to expect when it came to Katniss’s state, the had the goodbye between him and the kids before he left to get her along with Plutarch. The ‘tantrum’ as Effie called it was unlike anything he had witnessed coming from him sassy yet well behaved kids - they cried and yelled and begged for attention and ‘just one more minutes’.

He was an hour late to get Katniss, who was in a miserable state - worn out from isolation and medication withdrawal. Haymitch made sure she took a shower and dressed as quickly as he could and he lead her to the roof where a hovercraft was waiting for them.

Next to the large hovercraft, Effie and Plutarch stood to wish them goodbye - Plutarch was his old cheery self while Effie wore the smile that indicated that she was doing her best to pretend. Plutarch greeted them and went inside the hovercraft to make sure everything is ready for their departure.

Haymitch couldn’t stop looking at Effie as she greeted Kantiss and had her in a warm embrace, as if he tried to take her in, so he wouldn’t forget.

Which was stupid, cause he knows what she looks like, besides - he has the photo the kids gave him.

But he wasn’t able to move his eyes away from her.

Katniss and Effie released their hug, Katniss silently got up the hovercraft - and now it was the moment he dreamed from - he had to let her go.

She looked at him with those huge blue eyes of hers, anticipating for… something.

I need to tell her, I need her to know, I need her to understand how important she is to me - I need her to know this.

This could be the last time ill ever get to have her this close.

“Effie, don’t be a stranger” Haymitch said as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

That was fucking lame, what is wrong with you? A kiss on the cheek? Calling her out to not be a stranger? And That’s how you kiss an aunt by the way, not the woman you wished you could to have a life with - You can do better then this.

So he leaned in one more, kissing her gently on her lips, that were were pleasantly warm despite the cold winter air around them.

How long has it been since he kissed her? Ten years? More or less? They did kiss ten years ago - that time they did he remembered so vividly down to his bones, but it felt like it was long overdue as if they traveled back in time to finish what they started - only now it felt more sacred and precious and important, almost making him to blur his declaration of his love to her, right then and there, to shout it out that he didn’t want to let go - ever.

Almost.

Effie reciprocated with the upmost gentles of kisses and offered him a smile that brought him back down to earth “take care of her” she said as she patted his chest “I will” he offered, but he didn’t say ‘goodbye’, he never offered her the word goodbye before and he is not going to start now. He guessed that for her she just didn’t see this as a goodbye - he was sure that the wheels are spinning in her head, thinking of a way to reunite them once more.

For him thought, he didn’t offer a goodbye because he knew the moment that word will leave his mouth, he’ll probably never see her again and even during the games and the ups and downs they had, deep inside the few times a year he got to see her were the sun and morning breeze of his existence.

Now, saying goodbye would be as if he excepted the reality that he left his family behind once more.

So he walked after Katniss to the hovercraft that would take them to Twelve, not looking back, knowing that if he’d dare to - he’d turn to stone, settle into this blood-soaked earth, and will remove his guard.

But right now his duty was Katniss and his verdict was to be forced to live all alone without his family once more.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21: The Longing part II

The train on the way to district twelve, the 50th hunger games victory tour

Everything felt cold to Haymitch now - the applause from the Capitol crowd. the black shirt he wore even though it was long sleeved. The echo of the microphone as his monotone reading the same speech.

Non of them had the same cooling, numbing effect as the liquor as it flowed down his throat and from there to his blood and liver and brain, freezing his heart that is no longer beating, that is no longer wish to live.

As he learn, life could end in a blink of an eye - the eye that not just always watch, but dictates, that takes, that breaks even the strongest of them all, even when they are bonded together - especially when they are bonded together.

Now the ice that is created in his vain binds him one thing and one thing only - to his dead love and his promise to her.

Plutarch had a point - he might as well have this to live for.

Even if half of the way to keep this promise might be spent in drunken oblivion.

All he wanted to so now was to forget - please just leave me alone and let me forget! - Haymitch shouted every waking hour when Effie came to fetch him for breakfast. He usually did not sleep the night before, falling asleep around when the first ray of sun flickered through the train‘s narrow window - only to be waken an hour later by her or by one of his signature night terrors.

The night after their stop at District six was the hardest - after a week of early any sleep, he literally crushed on the sofa of the sitting cart, only to wake up screaming and indicatively throwing the bottle he held towards Snow who he though was standing right infant of him - the man‘s mouth was oozing blood and he reeked of it - Haymitch knew it was Wellie‘s blood in his mouth, the sweet little dove in the mouth of the all mighty snake.

Haymitch screamed and cried, buried his head between his arms and his upper thighs, pulling on his wet cold hair.

All of a sudden he felt something warm hovering on top of him.

Then he felt something touch his shoulder, delicately.

It was enough to make him flinch.

Haymitch jumped back and lifted his gaze to see Effie, crouching at his level, her eyes focusing on him. She held a little lamp shaped like ball, the yellow light reflects on her face, illuminating her with a sun-kissed glow.

So that was the warmth he felt.

For a moment they just stared at one another - Haymitch‘s heart slowed its pace and he was grateful that Effie didn’t try to offer or suggest anything to him like all the other nights.

And yet, he was grateful that she didn’t walk away either.

Taking her warmth with her.

Although the cold is all he‘d ever have, all he‘d ever need as of now and he was… not excepting it - but knowing He needed to find a way to have this coldness fuel him.

Then Effie offered his hand to him.

”Can you get up?“ She asked quietly.

He nodded and almost instinctively reached of her hand, her warm soft and delicate hand.

The same hand that next year would pull two tributes just like Wellie.

The same hand that hovered over his token and promised him to return it to Lenore dove.

He did not even imagined he would have remembered that moment - after Effie brought him to his room, leaving the glowy ball thing at his bedside - he drank three bottles before crushing onto the bed. The three weeks of the victory tour passed and he knew this is how life is going to look like from now on - cold and blood ranching, nightmares oozing into a reality that is just a more vibrate, elaborate version of his imagination.

Haymitch set in the dinning cart, nibbling on a mini cake of sort - icy cold of course. Effie came into the cart, a beam of light crossed her face as she walked towards him while lifting her head to meet his eyes. The beam of light casted her face with a warm golden glow and Haymitch felt as if he was getting infected.

Suddenly he became all hot and bothered and pissed, cracking his neck to relive the tension. He quickly got up from the chair he set on and just as she was about to say something to him, he moved past her, cutting her of for a second.

She turned to him and called ”where are you going? we arrive to district twelve in three hours - we need to go though the schedule…“ Effie kept it professional - as he growled at her to do sometime during the tour - but he wasn’t able to handle even that.

”Its too hot in here, I’m gonna cool down.“

"It can’t be, the expected temperature is 32 degree - are you feeling well?“ Her voice sounded worried - which only burned him more. ”Don’t worry your pretty head about it, ll be here when Plutarch wakes up from his beauty sleep“ the man slept like a log and he wouldn’t wake up early even if he was getting paid - not that the bastered was effected by bribery.

He said it as he crossed the exit and then ran to his room, using every shiver of force he had he jumped into the shower, his clothes still on.

The water were cold.

Cold as the outside, cold as his heart and limbs and blood, cold as Snow.

Cold and hard and dead as the body of his love.

He doesn’t long the warmth, he will not be tempted by it, he will not be distracted.

His eyes won’t linger, neither his thoughts.

Even if Effie is right there, offering something he had lost so abruptly.

Something he does not need.

A dead man walking does not need a leaving breathing ray of sunshine to win.

The hovercraft on the way to district twelve

After Plutarch said everything he had to say, speaking with uncanny cheery tone - he recommended them to catch some sleep of they are able to - only Haymitch wasn’t able to sleep. First of all, the sound of the hovercraft‘s engine buzzing In his ear like the last of the annoying fly that won’t leave him alone. Second of all, after all the times sleeping next to Effie in what became their bed in the mansion, Haymitch almost got used to the sense of peace he felt that he was afraid of what the effect from this withdraw would be.

He knew probably he should try to fall into some slumber, its not like he has something better to do - talking to Plutarch wasn’t an option, cause when you give this man a bone he takes the whole hand - unless Plutarch was interested to have a convo in the language of fists.

Right now, all Haymitch wanted to do to him was to grant him one - or two - pretty shiners.

Or hit something else, he wasn’t that picky.

So regardless of the potential nightmares, It would probably help to have a few hours of sleep on his back end when one is bound to finally deal with seeing the ruins of what was once your home, While simultaneously being forced to leave the best part of you behind to fend for themselves - in the same bloody city that destroyed his home twice already.

The image of Helena and Jannaeus crying and calling his name, begging him to stay and pleaded him let them go with him.

As the memory flashed in his mind, his  breath caught in his throat.

He missed them so mush already, the pain is eating at him alive - their voices ringing as if there were a bunch of jabberjays nesting in his ear, his lips still tingled as if he just kissed Effie, her taste still linger in his mouth and a stray heavy tear slowly dropped from his eye and onto his cheek.

A bottle of liquor can surly come in handy right now. But he promised Effie he wouldn’t drink anymore - so forgetting is not an option.

From where he stood there was no prospect, there was not and actual scenario and no estimated date of when they will be reunited - if they would ever actually be reunited.

At the moment he couldn’t think of a situation where he would see them anytime soon - traveling in between the districts was a hard task still, no kind of parenting agreement or those rights that he finally have over his kids could stand against the truth set in stone that Panem still rebuilding itself and was physically uncuttable of matching the needs of its citizens just yet.

Haymitch knew, or at least tried to convince himself that all of this was for the best - Katniss wouldn’t have to be in prison, his kids have the chance to adjust back to reality with their mother and grandfather in their home town, where they would be provided and cared for. Even though he hated the idea of his kids being known for taking a stand at the victor‘s vote, it allow them to be recognized as his kids officially.

Even if he knew it would take a while - or not happened at all - until he would actually get to witness it in his existence, in his reality.

Its all for the best the mantra was repeated over and over again in his head, as if it would help him to believe it was the actual truth.

Only he knew deep down it wasn’t.

And of course that was the only time he was brave enough to kiss Effie - was when they said goodbye to one another. His lips still tangled as if they will always cherished that sensation. To anyone on the outside, it probably wouldn’t look like anything special - he gave her one pack on her ivory cheek and a light kiss on her lips before they said their farewells. But for him, it felt like he got a sneak peak into something he may never experience ever again, the last time he would ever get to experience the essence of her honey and lavender perfume that is combined with skin, her sapphire eyes glistening in the morning light, the warmth of her lips against his that are guarding the two of them from the cold.

He hugged himself and rubbed his bicep as a shiver ran through his body, a cruel and cynical reminder that outside of his head he was still cold to the core.

They arrived to Twelve, both Katniss and him were in a really bad state - it took Greasy sae slapping him is the face to wake him up from his shithole as she called it and ’act like a man or once‘. Even though he wasn’t Drunk - he made a promise after all - he felt just as miserable as he always felt.

As the months went by, Katniss and him found a routine of sort - they would walk together to the woods, bypassing the distraction and the death. Katniss would take her bow as she tried to hunt and gather as she used to, even thought they and the other returning and newcomers of District twelve get monthly supplies though Heavensbee‘s hovercraft.

Haymitch legs however, alway took him to the meadow, to the covey‘s graveyard, to his Lenore dove.

Its been awhile since her death - it felt as if it‘s been a lifetime.

Its been so long since he held her is his arms and whispered sweet nothings in her ear, since he heard her sing, since he plucked a goose feather from her hair.

He wasn’t that boy anymore, not since she died in his arms.

How his heart ached to be in her warmth again, to drown in her blue… no, wait - Lenore dove‘s are… he couldn’t remember what her eye color was, but for sure not blue.

Cause those were the eyes of Effie Trinket - wise and oh so kind, reflecting the beauty of her soul. The color wad deep blue like the ocean in District four, that just like her lived miles and miles away, out of his reach.

Oh I'm sorry Lenore dove I… I can’t keep my promise to you to the fullest - I can’t go to be with you when ill be leaving Effie here. I don’t think I can… I don’t think I can let her go.

I love you Lenore dove - but I love her too. With all my heart and with everything I’ve had and for a longer time then I understand. I missed her just like I miss you, more even! And… I need her in my life - I don’t think id ever been alive of it wasn’t for her.

Lenore dove - all those years apart from you, I knew what my life propose was - I felt you with every move I made towards that goal, as if you leading my way. I knew who to be and how to act when you where gone - fighting Snow while simultaneously trying to forget everything else.

I don’t know who I am without Effie.

And I don’t ever ever want to know.

I don’t what to be cold anymore - she deserved to have some real sunshine in her life too.

And this is how it went, this routine of theirs.

One day, Late April, Peeta came back home. Haymitch was back from the meadow as he saw him was crouching by a newly created flowerbeds next to Katniss‘s house.

The smile on his face grew to be the size of his entire face as he saw Peeta has finally came back home, just at the perfect time where the snow has finally began to melt. Haymitch eagerly looked for a glimpse, a sign of Effie or his kids - only to figure they were not there. In his sigh echoed the glimpses of hope and the tears that were threatening to fall for all those months.

And when Peeta was coming forward to say hello - he saw it. He saw him in a way Katniss wasn’t able and shouldn’t have to in her condition.

Like the way Effie would have seen him if she was here.

Haymitch excepted Peeta‘s brief hug, which felt as id this is how his children probably would’ve hugged him and as a comforting caring presence all at once. Luckily Peeta cut straight to the chase without any wasteful pleasantries ”they are missing you like you wouldn’t believe“ Peeta  whispered in his ear, causing him to choke on his breath.

”They are?“ Haymitch asked hesitantly, hope dared to slip though the cracks in his voice.

Peeta released the hug in order to look him in the eyes ”The kids are asking about you non stop, flooding me and Effie with lists upon lists of questions, skipping nothing - so much so that Effie had to limit their ”haymitch research time“ only to the dinner table cause they were getting so enthusiastically overboard“ Peeta chuckled as he spoke, invoking the same reaction from Haymitch ”and Effie? Did she…?“ Somehow he couldn’t finish asking what he long to know.

Whatever Peeta said now would be set in stone.

He knew what he wanted the answer to be - but the though of forcing it out of him - out of her - was not something Haymitch was ever willing to even let cross his mind.

But the fear of it being something other than her sharing the same desire shook him to the core.

”If we though Effie worked hard during the games - you have no idea how hard she is working on coming here with the kids“ as if Peeta‘s words commended it, Haymitch finally felt like he could breath normally again. A chuckle escaped his mouth, which curved up with it ”well, when Effie wants something - she usually gets it“.

It was all he could say without completely embarrassing himself by acting all sappy. His whole body itched with excitement and anticipation, so mush so Haymitch felt the need to rub his biceps to dissect himself. He knew from what Effie said that that’s what she wanted - but knowing she is actively working towards it, made it feel more real then it felt in the past four months.

But he still have questions.

”Why didn’t anyone contact us? There are trains coming and going now“ he wasn’t angry per say, but it did made him feel as if he had missed something along the way.

Peeta sighed and explained ”the train is still held by the government - no civil usage is possible just yet, I was dropped of here in a hovercraft. They wanted me to go back as soon as possible, but Plutarch and Dr Trinket along with Dr Aurelius from thirteen pleaded for me to stay in the capitol for recovery. I was ordered to go back alone yesterday, Effie asked the court to let her at least escort me so I would not travel alone but was refused.“

So she wont come anytime soon.

Haymitch managed to hold his emotions back until the first dinner they had together with Katniss after who knows how long. He broke down suddenly, throwing his spoon into his bowl and covering his face with his hand. He ended up telling them everything - about his games, his attempts to stop the games, about the friends he lost along the way, about Lenore dove and her geese and songs and people - anytime Effie‘s name was woven into the conversation he tried to brush it off, even though he could not avoid her, not really - she was so woven into his life by this point that it felt as if she was there from the very beginning.

He was thankful that they just set there and let him talk and spill. Haymitch felt somewhat better afterwards, cleaner in a way - still longing for his living loved ones, but not as chocked as before.

The next afternoon, Katniss came up with several goose eggs - not to eat but to hatch, for him to raise.

Oh Lenore dove would have adored it!

And so would your son.

Katniss and Peeta helped him set up an incubator, which set on a dresser in one dark and cool corner of his sitting room. He knew this would take a while, but he enjoyed to watch the incubator - imagining what Lenore dove would have said seeing him like this and imagining his son thinking of him as the coolest dad ever for raising an actual gaggles of geese straight out of his favorite book.

I wont get to here it any time soon though.

He probably watch the eggs for quite some time, cause it was dark outside when he heard the door - his door - being opened in a hurry. He rosed up from his chair to see it was Peeta, who didn’t say a thing as he grabbed something from his back pocket and handed it to him - a lavender envelope that looked stuffed to its brim, sealed with red wax stamp. ”I… I just found this in my bag“ Peeta panted as if he had just ran a mile ”I didn’t know that she… its for you - from Effie… I didn’t open it so…“ without a second thought, haymitch grabbed the envelop from his hands. His name was written on the back of it with Effie‘s beautiful, elegant handwriting ”ill leave you to it“ Peeta‘s voice echoed in the sitting room as he left, Haymitch wasn’t able to reply as he stared at the fat envelope.

Its smells like Effie - he lifted it to his nose to confirm his desires - and it indeed smelled like her own distinct essence of lavender and honey. If he though after those two emotional days that he had no tears left in him - well he was hella mistaken cause he cried a river or two at that moment - He felt he urged need to sit down. With the upmost delicate of movements, he pulled on the wax step, opening the envelope.

Effie‘s smile was the first thing that popped into his vision, making him drop the whole content of the envelope on the floor ”damnit“ he murmured as he collected what ended up being a stack of photos.

Not old ones like the one they gave him before he left - those were recent.

Helena wearing a blue dress and an intricate braid reading a book, Jannaeus and Peeta eating breakfast, the three of them painting together, Effie waving shyly while being surrounded with paperwork. Behind each photo Effie who probably could not resist to be this organized wrote the date each photo was taken and some context on what they were doing that day -

’The 14th of January - Helena reading a book about herbal medicine - which she claimed to be very interesting. She asked to wear a braid today, just like Katniss.‘

’The 26th of February - Jannaeus and Peeta enjoying the most amazing breakfast Peeta has made for us, using the chocolate that had finally came back to the market.‘

’The 4th of April - Mom is really pretty at this one, right dad? Jannaeus took it! We miss you, love Heleni.'

The last one was written with less promotion then before - for obvious reasons.

Well, that was one you for sure did not approve, an I right sunshine? our kids are a sneaky little thing aren’t they? Haymitch though to himself, trying to imagine what Effie might have said if she was here - she would probably fuss about her looks and that those were her work clothes or something, but to him she was the most beautiful being in the world.

Finally, Haymitch got to the photo he first saw when he opened the envelope - Effie wore a dress that he could have only describe as almost district style, her hair was up in a complicated bun and she looked straight at him, her eyes bright and lovely. Suddenly he noticed that she stood over Jannaeus and Helena who set on chairs around a cake with a candle shaped like the number ten lit on top of it - the same position as the photo they gave him, only now they were older.

His children got older - he wasn’t with them, but they get to grow older his heart ached with bittersweetness.

Haymitch turned the photo around, eager to read the little massage behind.

The 18th of March - Helena and Jannaeus 10th birthday, taken by Peeta. The children wanted to have their cake to be like it is in twelve, so Peeta made them a version of a cake that is eaten on New Year’s Day, with apples and cinnamon and buttercream. They did not share their birthday wish with me, fearing of it not coming true - but we all wish we would be able to celebrate next year when you are with us. 

His face had started to hurt from how long he held his smile wide and bright, his stomach swirled with emotions he haven’t felt for what seemed like forever, it filled him with hope he didn’t think he was able to feel anymore.

There were about thirty photos in the pack and Haymitch spend the entire evening going though them, imagining as if he was there with his kids and Effie, as if he was the one who stood behind the camera, trying to freeze little moments of joy to cherish forever - until his bladder alerted him that he had to stop momentarily.

So he left the photos on the sofa, not wanting to risk them being damaged - its not like he could replicate them and they were the closest thing he had that connects him to his family.

He took care of his business and walked straight to the sitting room to have more quality time with his family when he found that he accidentally stepped on something - a piece of paper, neatly folded, the same color as the envelope. It carried the same soothing perfume Effie had - he probably failed to pick it up when he dropped the photos earlier. He unfolded the paper which ended up to be a small letter.

He could see that the first part was written buy his kids, because of their hand writing. ”To dad - we wanna come to twelve and see you but mom say we can’t because the train is not working. Please don’t forget us - Helena and Jannaeus.“ How could I when you are that great? Underneath, there was a drawing of the four of them alongside who haymitch recognized to be Katniss and Peeta - and they titled it ”our family“.

Our family. This is my family.

This is my family.

I have a family.

They are mine - forever.

And he couldn’t wait to prove them and show them how much they mean to him.

Haymtich was so exhilarated he nearly missed what was written underneath the drawing - the hand writing was for sure Effie’s but she seemed to have been in a hurry, the words were written in a slant and not as neatly as her usual standard.

”Plutarch just told me that the phone line were fixed in twelve - the phone number at my father's is 00192342, please call when you get this - E.“

His body moved on his own, he quickly got up, picked up the phone to dial the number. While the beep beep beep of the phone played in his ear, his fist locked around the latter, unwillingly being crumpled as he impatiently waited to finally being brace with his princess‘s voice.