Chapter Text
I drift in the darkness, my mind seeking rest and stillness. After the past day, I desperately need it, and it appears I’ve been granted it.
Someone speaks from the nothingness. “You’re here again.”
I’m annoyed by the interruption of my sleep, but I reply regardless. “Who are you, and where is ‘here?’”
The presence almost seems insulted. “We’ve spoken before. Likewise, you’ve been here before.”
The void around me illuminates to reveal a starscape more detailed than the night sky, even seen from the darkest regions of Yamatoria. A reptilian creature with flames for hair is in front of me, and I remember Ren’s description. “You’re a Monitor.”
“Correct. I assume your love told you how I’d appear?”
I nod. “He did. Why are you speaking to me now?”
The creature crosses its arms. “To offer advice.”
“Why?”
“Because I wish to and have permission to do so. Did I steer you astray when I showed you the set of khopesh?”
I recall the dream with the two swords, which led me to notice them on the wall when Genzo took us hostage. My notice also called Ren’s attention to them, which ultimately allowed him to form a plan to stop the boar. “That was you?”
The Monitor is unamused by this response. “Who did you think it was? I was unable to reach Ren’s mind directly at the time; you were the best way to bring those weapons to his attention so that you both could use them to save your delegation.”
There’s some lingering embarrassment as I respond to him. “I honestly thought it was a coincidence.”
It narrows its eyes. “There have been many coincidences in your life. That was not one of them. Just as this isn’t. ”
I mentally note to consider my responses more carefully to avoid irritating this being further. “What advice do you wish to give me?”
“Ren will soon ask you to do something that you may find disagreeable. It won’t be life or death at that moment, nor will it be a thing that can break your relationship. Regardless, you will feel strongly about this and will want to refuse for numerous reasons. Despite this, you should agree.”
Is it aware of how uneasy this is making me? “What happens if I refuse?”
“Your love will not be fractured by it, but the road ahead will become more turbulent for you both. It would add to your burden and your suffering. Spare yourselves.”
That’s ominous. “Anything else?”
“It’d be favorable if he started singing again.”
What the hell does that mean?
“It’d just be nice.”
~~~~~
My eyes flutter open as I try to reorient myself. I’m feeling too hot to fall back asleep, and I realize why as I remember I fell asleep holding Ren, both of us still fully clothed and sitting propped up against the ridiculous mass of pillows at the head of Emperor Amicus’s bed. Why are we still clothed?
I notice Akari, Minako, Yuriko, and Aquila sitting on the nearby sofa, fast asleep. That’s why.
What am I to do here? Ren needs to rest, and I don’t want to risk disturbing him. “You’re too hot, too, huh?”
I can’t help but wonder how long he’s been awake as he sits up and starts undoing his kosode. “Ren, the kids are right there.”
He’s still proceeding as he whispers back to me. “I’m at least keeping my pants on. Drowning in a pool of my own sweat isn’t my idea of getting good rest.”
The garment rustles softly as he tosses it onto the nightstand. I feel him reach back and start trying to undo my kosode. “Hey, I didn’t ask you to do that.”
He hasn’t stopped and has gotten the belt loose. “You didn’t, but I can tell you’re miserable.”
Reluctantly, I comply and help him take the robe off me. The cold air dispensed by the ventilation system hits me almost instantly. He moans softly as he reclines back into my bare chest. “Your furry pecs are my favorite pillow.”
I can’t help but snicker at that comment, as he brings a hand up to my face. “I love you, Masamune Kenji.”
He turns his head to kiss me. His red-brown eyes shine with affection and exhaustion as he continues stroking my cheek. I can feel myself grinning as I kiss him on the forehead. “I love you, too, my future husband.”
Ren exhales heavily as he falls back into my chest. “I’m sorry that my plans for us yesterday got cut short.”
He’s referring to his bold plan for us to spend most of the day having sex, which got interrupted by End of the World instructing us to flee Ad Rotae. “Making love once was more than enough for me. I got a fiancé out of it, at least.”
I hear him chuckle. “You chided me for saying it that way because it was outdated, and now you use it constantly.”
I wrap my arms around him, my paw stopping to stroke the thin layer of black fur on his chest and stomach. “It started to feel like a deep romantic experience the more we did it. I thought the term started to apply.”
He brings up a hand to one of my paws, running his thumb back and forth against it. “It had been so long since we’d been able to do it how we liked best, I wanted to spend as much of the day as possible trying to make it up to you. To show you how much I love you and missed being with you that way.”
I kiss the side of his face, trying to avoid the bandage on his left cheek. “You showed me that well enough in one go.”
He sighs. “About the engagement. There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
My stomach tightens. Is this what the Monitor warned me about? He continues. “I know that you probably want to have a big wedding back home, where all of our families attend. I want to give you one, but the way things are has me worried–Easy now.”
I realize that I unintentionally tightened my grip around him. “Sorry.”
He brings up one of my paws from his chest and kisses the back of it. “Take it easy. I still want to marry you, and I intend to do so. The fact that assassins are now targeting us is making me nervous, though. If either of us doesn’t make it out of this alive, I don’t want the other left wondering about what could have been.”
He’s hesitating to get to the point. “I think we should elope. We can get the marriage recognized back on Yamatoria, which is all I care about at this point. If we make it out of this, we can have a big wedding back home when this is all over.”
The Monitor was right: I don’t like this. Ren’s already picked up on it. “We don’t have to if you really don’t want to, but something is telling me this is the right move. So long as you’re my husband, I’m happy.”
His assumptions were correct. We hadn’t discussed it yet, but I was hoping for a big wedding when we got back to Yamatoria so that our families could attend. This shatters that desire. And who has two separate weddings? “Why would we have two weddings?”
His hand tightens slightly around my paw. “It’s an Earth thing. Sometimes couples have more than one. It might be because they didn’t like how the first one went, or they might do it after a few decades to renew their vows and love for one another. I know it’s not what you wanted, but please think about it.”
I’ve focused on the Monitor’s warning. I can say no, but it’ll just lead to more suffering ahead of us. This really isn’t what I want. “Who would even marry us?”
He leans back a little more. “Dr. Hashimoto worked as a justice of the peace while she was finishing her education. She’s still licensed as one, and our government would recognize a marriage performed by her.”
There’s a puppish urge to shut him down that I’m fighting very hard against. Despite the selfish desire to demand the kind of wedding I want, I try to focus on the positives. At the end of all of this, so long as we’re husband and husband, I’m certain I’ll be content. “When do you want to do it?”
He turns his head and kisses me. “If I talk to Dr. Hashimoto, we could do it tonight.”
I remind myself that this decision, an idea born from his love for me, is for the best. “Then let’s do it. You’d better give me a bigger one when we get back home, though.”
Ren chuckles. “Love you too, Ken.”
We sit in silence as I continue stroking his chest fur, and he reclines into me. The sound of Akari stirring draws my focus.
She yawns and stretches dramatically before looking over at us. “Why are you two shirtless?”
Ren replies before I can. “Sleeping in a kosode is uncomfortably warm. Don’t read too much into it.”
She doesn’t look happy, but us being shirtless probably isn’t why. “You know how much I’ve been struggling with almost losing you on Khemia, and you did this.”
Ren sighs. “I didn’t purposely get caught in that explosion. I wasn’t doing this to torment you, sweetheart.”
She’s refusing to look at him. “Akari, don’t do this to me.”
She looks further away. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
The words come out of me before I realize I’m speaking. “Akari, I know you feel powerless, but for the time being, he’s here and he’s alive. Focus on that instead of languishing about how and when you’re going to lose him.”
The young dog appears to be still sulking. Ren begins motioning to her. “Lotus blossom, come here.”
She gets up and climbs into the bed, appearing to curl up in her father’s lap. I can see him stroking her head as she lies there. “I know you’re scared, but Kenji’s right: I’m here right now. Don’t torment yourself thinking about when I won’t be.”
Akari huffs. Ren is still uncharacteristically patient with her, despite her stubbornness. The Monitor mentioned him singing. Maybe it’ll help?
I lean down to his ear. “Maybe you should sing to her?”
He looks back at me, slightly taken aback by what I just told him. With a heavy exhale, he begins a song in a deep, steady voice.
I’m just a poor wayfaring stranger, I’m trav’ling through this world below;
There is no sickness, toil, nor danger, In that bright world to which I go.
He’s singing in that drawl he normally speaks English with, but this time it doesn’t sound terrifying as the lingua translates it. It sounds hauntingly beautiful. His voice rises as he continues.
I’m going there to see my father, I’m going there no more to roam;
I’m just a going over Jordan, I’m just a going over home.
Akari has raised her head from his lap as he carries on.
I know dark clouds will gather o’er me, I know my pathway’s rough and steep;
But golden fields lie out before me, Where weary eyes no more shall weep.
I’m going there to see my mother, She said she’d meet me when I come;
I’m just a going over Jordan, I’m just a going over home.
Yuriko, Minako, and Aquila now appear to be awake.
I’ll soon be free from every trial, This form will rest beneath the sod;
I’ll drop the cross of self-denial, And enter in my home with God.
I’m going there to see my Saviour, I’m going there no more to roam;
I’m just a going over Jordan, I’m just a going over home.
Ren clears his throat. “I might be a bit out of practice. That was your favorite, wasn’t it?”
The young dog’s eyes begin to well up with tears as she hugs him. I can hear her weeping into his chest. “Whoa. Did I get it wrong? Sweetheart, please stop crying.”
She pulls back, shaking her head. Despite the tears dampening her face, she’s smiling. “You haven’t sung that since Papa died. I’ve been waiting so long to hear it again.”
“Huh. I guess I haven’t, have I?”
The door slides open, and Cassius sticks his head in. “I heard something strange coming from here. Is everything alright?”
In the weeks I’ve been here, the differences between Wolven and Doggen culture have become increasingly apparent. Dogs, by some odd coincidence, have more similar tastes in music to humans than to wolves. It makes sense that Cassius would be confused by the sound of a human song. I’m not certain Ren is aware of this difference. “I was singing my daughter a folk song from my native country on Earth.”
The white wolf raises an eyebrow. “That was singing?”
He shrugs. “Well, the human version of it, at least. Would you like to hear it?”
Cassius considers the offer briefly. “If you’re willing to sing it again, by all means.”
Ren sings the song again, as Cassius seems enthralled by the melody. His jaw is hanging open by the time Ren finishes. “That was quite different from Wolven music, but… so chilling. What exactly are those lyrics referencing?”
Ren doesn’t hesitate to answer him. “The song is over 200 years old. Humans haven’t been particularly skilled at keeping records until the last century, so the exact meaning and context have been lost to time. There are several different versions of the lyrics as well, but they tend to refer to very similar imagery. The unclear origin has led to many conflicting theories about the true meaning of the lyrics.”
The white wolf considers the answer he’s just been given. “Amicus’s consort did mention that records of past, failed uplifts no longer existed on your planet. That gives me a bit more context as to possibly why.”
I have my doubts that this is why he’s here. “Cassius, I know you’re not here to learn about human folk music. What’s brought you back?”
He grins slightly before resuming the same serious look he carries most of the time. “You’re correct. I came to check how you were recuperating. There were some details that I’ve discussed with Virginia and Dr. Hashimoto that I wanted to share, but only if you were in good enough shape to hear them.”
Ren waves off that concern. “I’m in as good of shape as I’m gonna get for now. You may as well.”
Cassius looks like he wasn’t expecting that level of bluntness, nor having to actually disclose the information in question. “Yes, well, we did get some reports from Ad Rotae last night shortly after you arrived. The 3 of us agreed that it might be too unsettling at the time, but the assault on your delegation wasn’t the only attack made. The hotel you were all staying in had a bomb detonated in it precisely at sunset. There were many casualties, and if you had not fled beforehand, you would likely be among them.”
I can’t help but wonder if End of the World knew this was going to happen when they urged us to flee. If so, how did they do it? “Is there any confirmation that it was done by Omorfans?”
He shakes his head. “Unfortunately, we have no evidence of who committed the attack. Far too much was destroyed in the detonation. It doesn’t stop with Ad Rotae, however. Yesterday, a terrorist cell attempted an attack on your planet’s capital.”
The wolf opens a tablet and offers it to Ren. He takes it and begins reading over the information. It only takes a few moments before his breathing hitches. “Ren, what’s wrong?”
I lean forward to look at him and find that he has his hand over his mouth with a horrified and devastated look on his face. He inhales, steeling himself. “They made an attempt on Empress Suiko’s life. Machiko had sent several members of the Takeda clan to assist the imperial family, and a few members were injured or killed.”
Akari moves toward him, trying to get him to look at her. “Daddy, what happened?”
I can feel him shaking, and I instinctively tighten my arms around him. “Your cousins, Jin and Mei. They were badly hurt, and it looks like they’re not going to survive their injuries. The clan is already making funeral arrangements.”
The device falls out of his grip as he continues shaking. “Damn it!”
He’d only touched on it briefly during our talks when our relationship began, but I recognize those names. After the fire, Machiko forced Ren and his daughters to undergo intense jujutsu training under Jin and Mei. He credited the two with not only teaching him martial arts but also helping him piece himself back together after Hatori’s death. He spoke of them quite fondly.
Cassius appears increasingly concerned with how upset Ren has become. “I’m sorry, perhaps I should have waited–”
“DON’T APOLOGIZE. Their blood isn’t on your paws!”
This isn’t like him. I’ve never seen him this enraged before. “Pointless, senseless carnage, and for what reason?!”
Akari and Minako are both now on the bed, in front of us, trying to soothe him while trying to simultaneously handle their own distress. “Dad, please take a breath.”
I can feel the rage radiating off of him like heat off a pyre. “I’ve humiliated myself and you both to further peace in the Galaxias. Yet, what has it earned us but violence and cruelty?! What is the point of this idiotic farce?!”
He’s scaring me. “Ren, stop!”
He takes a deep breath as his head dips. “I’m sorry. I just–”
Akari and Minako hug him, unintentionally hugging me with him. “Dad, I’m furious too, but please try to calm down.”
“I’m sorry I raised my voice.”
Cassius is slowly approaching the bed. I feel like he wants to put a hand on Ren’s shoulder, but seems reluctant to do so. “Ren, if I knew you were this close to the casualties–I apologize, I should have waited.”
I hold up a paw to him. “Cassius, you didn’t know. There was no way for you to.”
The door suddenly slides open, and I turn my gaze to see who’s entered. It’s not a person: it’s a drone. A slivery-white drone with glowing pink markings that heavily resembles the one that delivered a weapon to Ren during our escape from Ad Rotae. Cassius notices it as well and is instantly alarmed. “That’s not one of ours!”
It speaks in the same unpleasant voice it used during our last encounter. “DO NOT BE ALARMED. END OF THE WORLD SENDS THEIR REGARDS.”
The piece of machinery flies further into the room. “END OF THE WORLD ALSO SENDS THEIR REGRETS. THEY DESIRED TO AVOID FURTHER TRAGEDY, BUT EVENTS UNFOLDED IN AN UNFORTUNATE WAY. THEY OFFER THEIR CONDOLENCES.”
The white wolf is looking over it as it hovers in the middle of the room. “This doesn’t look like any parental tech we have on record.”
A staticky noise sounds from the drone, followed by a voice. “It’s likely you wouldn’t. This isn’t typical tech.”
Their speech is distorted, hiding any indicators of gender or species. “For what it’s worth, I do offer my sincerest condolences. My primary focus has been on keeping you safe, but I still tried to send intel to Suiko’s people. Unfortunately, my timing was… unhelpful.”
Everyone is staring at the machine in disbelief. “Well, don’t all talk at once, now.”
Ren replies, seemingly irritated by this turn of events. “End of the World?”
The voice scoffs. “Gee, how’d you guess? Yes. It is I.”
I’m not really in the mood to deal with this. “Enough. What do you want?”
They don’t seem to match my irritation. “To speak with you, honestly. I got permission to do so, so I’m taking the opportunity.”
Ren sighs. “About what? Who the hell are you, anyway?”
End of the World makes sounds that I assume are them clicking their tongue against the roof of their mouth in disapproval. “You know already that I can’t tell you that at this time. I guess the Monitor didn’t stress the necessity of patience in your circumstances? If you have other questions, and I am allowed to answer them, I will do my best to do so.”
Akari shows no hesitation. “Why are you doing this? What do you stand to gain from our situation?”
The voice doesn’t reply for a second. “You’re correct in assuming I’m doing this partially for my own selfish reasons. However, while that is a factor, it’s mostly because I believe in what my mission is. Likewise, as I’ve worked to help you all, I couldn’t help but come to care for you. For all your flaws, you’re lovely people, and I want to see you all alive and happy. If you must know, the Parents have offered me something in exchange for my services. I won’t bore you with what.”
Ren looks back at me, clearly unsure of their candor. He turns back to the drone. “Are you from Earth? You mentioned coffee, which is only found on Earth, and you also mentioned knowing my father.”
There’s a snicker from the audio output. “I could be. If you recall, I was speaking to both you and Kenji when I first messaged you. Perhaps I was referring to his father? The Masamune family has many friends across Yamatoria. As for the coffee remark, it would make sense that I did some level of research about your homeworld. I was making a pop culture reference I thought you would get, but it occurred to me after the fact that you left Earth quite a while before it became prevalent. Unfortunate miscalculation on my part. Are you familiar with an actress named Jennifer Lewis?”
“I remember seeing her on television a few times when I was a kid.”
It sounds like they just made a popping noise. “Lovely woman. Human entertainment is quite enjoyable, and ladies like her are a large part of why.”
Ren’s getting annoyed with this conversation. “So, are you from Earth or not?”
There’s a tapping noise. “My apologies, but that is not for you to know right now.”
Minako crawls over to the edge of the bed. “It seems like you’re just playing games. What can you tell us?”
“Most information I can disclose is limited. Until I’ve gotten permission to, at least. Let’s see, what can I tell you? I can tell you that in addition to watching over you, I’ve been tasked with watching over someone connected to Emperor Amicus, but I can’t tell you who. The topic of my species is… complicated. It would take more time to explain than what I’ve been given.”
I find myself grumbling at how obnoxiously cryptic they’re being. “Why did you even want to talk to us?”
There’s a soft cough from the audio. Whatever species they are, they’re capable of coughing, at least. “I wanted to talk with you directly. Particularly because of what I’ve brought you.”
A compartment on the front of the drone flies open, revealing a pair of rings made from a red metal. “Given that you’re getting married tonight, I figured you couldn’t do it without a proper set of rings. I utilized the tech that the Parents granted me access to in order to have these produced. I don’t suppose you’re familiar with a metal called hihiirokane?”
I am, but the existence of such an alloy has long been considered to be the subject of myths and legends. “They can’t really be made of that.”
“Well, they are. Getting the ore to make them wasn’t easy, so a little gratitude would be nice.”
I growl as I take them from the drone. The metal is uncharacteristically warm against my pads. “Thank you.”
There’s a low beeping sound. “You’re very welcome. It appears that the time I’ve been allowed is coming to a close shortly. Congratulations on the wedding. Mazel Tov!”
Ren pounces on the use of those words. “AHA! You’re from Earth, and you’re Jewish!”
End of the World laughs. “Nice guess, but I only said that to fuck with you, Rafael. Ahhotep be with you, and thank Vita.”
The audio ceases, and the drone turns to exit. I suppose they’ve ended our interaction.
The room is quiet for a few seconds before Akari and Minako swoop in like crazed carrion with their questions. “Married? Tonight?”
Ren is rubbing his forehead. “We’re eloping tonight if Dr. Hashimoto agrees to it. She’s legally able to marry people under Yamatorian law. With how things have been, it just seems like the right thing to do.”
Cassius coughs softly. “I’m going to go. Would you like me to relay your request to Dr. Hashimoto?”
I nod to him. “If you could, please.”
He bows before exiting. As the door slides closed behind him, I can only feel my anxiety growing. On top of everything that’s happened in the past 18 hours, I’m getting married. “What now?”
Ren leans back. “Do you have a black kimono you can wear?”
~~~~~
After a short conversation where she was certain to detail all of the issues she had with our decision, Dr. Hashimoto agreed to marry Ren and me. Due to safety concerns, we couldn’t go into the city to conduct the ceremony. To our luck, Virginia offered the throne room for the wedding.
The tension has been building over the past few hours that I’ve spent getting ready. Now I’m standing here in a formal black kimono, drones circling me, recording everything while my heart is in my throat. I wasn’t expecting to be this nervous, especially if we were eloping.
Aquila is adjusting my belt to better center it as Akari and Minako tend to Ren. Dr. Hashimoto is setting up a podium to serve as a table for part of the ceremony. Somehow, she’s managed to set the sake cups steadily atop it. Yuriko, Cassius, and Virginia are standing off to the side as witnesses.
As they feel they’ve aligned the belt well enough, Aquila steps back from me and smiles up at me. “You look particularly happy.”
They nod. “You’re going to officially be my father. Of course I’m happy.”
I fight back the urge to pick them up in a big hug and carry them in my arms. “I-I’m glad to hear that.”
They step back and join the other witnesses, and I notice that Akari and Minako are still tending to Ren. “Girls, I think I’m ready. You can stop.”
Akari seems to be fiddling with his head fur using a brush. “Not yet. Your fur’s a bit of a mess.”
“It’s always a mess. It’s genetic.”
Dr. Hashimoto clears her throat to grab everyone’s attention. “If you’d kindly join the other witnesses, I’d like to begin.”
Minako and Akari take her hint and go to join the others. The crow motions Ren and me forward. She clasps her talons in front of her as she begins speaking. “We are here today to celebrate the love and union of two souls. Under the eyes of the Kami, the Parents, our ancestors, and those who have come to bear witness, these two will be joined: Masamune Kenji of Yamatoria, descendant of Hinata, and Takeda Ren of Earth.”
She motions for us to face one another. “Today, you will make your vows to each other; a confession and promise of your affection and loyalty. Ren, you may begin.”
It feels like those eyes of his are staring into my bare soul yet again as he steels himself to speak. “Masamune Kenji, I pledge to you my love, fidelity, and respect through every instance of bad and good that we may encounter in the years to come. Though we may be torn apart by fate or circumstance, I swear that my love for you will never fade or falter, until the day I die and well after.”
How do I follow that up? It was so well said and to the point. Dr. Hashimoto turns to me. “Kenji, your vows.”
The tension rises as I begin to speak, and I try to say what comes to me naturally. “Rafael –Takeda Ren. Whichever name you’re called, I pledge to you my love, respect, and loyalty. Through sickness, toil, and danger, I swear I will be by your side no matter the cost to myself. I will be the starlight to your darkness in this life and beyond.”
Ren’s smile grows at my words as Dr. Hashimoto pours sake into the three cups in front of her. “Both of you, please take 3 sips from each cup.”
We both do as instructed and slowly take 3 sips from each cup of sake. As we finish, the doctor speaks again. “Now, the exchange of the rings.”
I reach into my kimono and pull a ring from inside it, and Ren does the same. My paws shake slightly as I pull my ring over Ren’s finger. He pulls his over my finger with steady precision, then takes both of my hands in his.
Unexpectedly, Dr. Hashimoto spreads her wings and wraps them around the two of us to push us closer together. “By the authority vested in me by the federal courts of Yamatoria, I now declare you husband and husband.”
She whacks both of us in the forehead with her wings before withdrawing them. “Don’t fuck this up.”
As I recover from that, Ren comes in to kiss me with so much force that he almost knocks me over. I can feel myself blushing as he draws back, smiling contentedly at me.
This is it. We’re married, but my tension isn’t gone. Why am I still tense?
Ren’s begun to pick up on this as we stand there. “You okay?”
I’m almost afraid to say anything. “I’m fine, I’m just still nervous, I guess.”
He kisses me again. “Of course you are. You just got married. It’s a big change.”
Virginia has begun approaching us. “That was a quaint but nonetheless beautiful ceremony. Is this typical of Yamatorian weddings?”
Ren laughs. “Well, they’re typically bigger and held outdoors. Although both of mine have been small. If a couple has their wedding at a shrine, they might bring offerings to the altar as part of the ceremony.”
He looks over to me. “Regardless of how big or small, or where it might be held, I’m happy.”
His attention turns back to the she-wolf. “We do plan to have a bigger one when we’re able to return home. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to put you on the guest list.”
The she-wolf grins. “Unfortunately, given the volatile nature of everything, I can’t currently commit to something of that nature. However, if circumstances change, I may look forward to attending.”
I feel Ren’s grip tighten around my paw as she walks away. The unease isn’t leaving me, though. “What now?”
He leans in and presses his forehead to mine. “Kenji, Relax.”
My eyes shut as I lean into him and take a deep breath.
Something’s wrong.
There’s a flash, and in a single moment, I’m Emperor Amicus and the human he holds dying in his arms. Every ounce of grief, despair, and physical pain they’re experiencing is coursing through my mind. It’s overwhelming.
I hear Ren’s voice screaming in the distance. “No, please! Let me help them! You have to let me do something! Don’t make me watch this if you’re going to leave me powerless!”
The sound of him sobbing echoes as I feel the life drain from me, while simultaneously holding the lifeless body in my arms close, as despair and devastation drown me. He continues to plead with whatever unseen force that has him held as a captive audience to this tragic event. “No, damn it! No, no, no!”
Ren’s voice next to him brings me back to reality. “Ken, what’s wrong?”
He’s scanning me with considerable concern. I feel his hand wiping my cheeks under my eyes. I wasn’t aware that I was crying. The look in his eyes somehow tells me that he knows this isn’t about the wedding. I can only get a few words out. “I just saw something.”
My mind begins picking apart the past few months and focuses on our time on Khemia. Ren and Amicus connected so easily that it was unreal, and he took a great interest in showing genuine care and affection to the young emperor. They’d never met before, but the more I think about it, the more I look over their interactions. The two of them were strangers to one another, yet it seemed like they’d already connected as if they’d met before. “Khemia wasn’t the first time you met Amicus, was it?”
He looks bewildered at my question. “That’s ridiculous. How would I have met him otherwise?”
It seems that he isn’t aware of what I saw, and I’m uncertain whether he actively remembers it or not. The tech energy in his brain must have sent me that vision, but what is the significance?
The Monitor’s voice seems to whisper in my ear. “The lock is undone. Get him to open the last door that it bound.”
This seems like the worst possible moment for that. The Monitor whispers again. “You don’t have to do it right this instant, but do it soon.”
I look back at Ren. “I’m sorry. We can talk about it later. Let’s just try to enjoy today for what it is.”
His concern isn’t fading, and it becomes all the more obvious as he brings a hand to my face. He simply nods before switching his attention to the rest of the delegation. As he speaks with them, what I just experienced replays over and over in my mind. Every emotion, every physical sensation of that vision was horrifying. How can I make him relive that?
My worries fade a bit as we’re directed to the palace’s dining room to find that Yuriko had worked with Cassius to have Com attempt to replicate a traditional Yamatorian wedding dinner. The results aren’t exactly authentic, but the gesture is still appreciated. I find myself grinning at the display of Ren, Akari, and Minako trying to teach Cassius and Virginia how to use chopsticks as our dinner conversation strategically avoids discussion of the peril awaiting us outside the palace walls.
As the meal draws to a close, we all part ways to go to our respective sleeping quarters. Akari, Minako, Yuriko, and Aquila have been assigned to the now-vacant emperor’s chambers while Ren and I are granted use of Emperor Amicus’s bedroom in light of his absence.
The same anxiety I’ve felt since the end of the ceremony is still looming over me as the room’s door slides shut behind us. Ren immediately puts his arms over my shoulders and draws me in for a kiss. “So, you want to talk about what’s bugging you?”
I do, but it is our wedding night. I feel there are certain expectations I need to fulfill. “I want to, but you know, since we just got married…”
My mind’s exhausted, and I’m unsure how to finish that sentence. Ren’s lips brush mine briefly. “We don’t have to make love if you don’t want to. I know the past few days have been a lot. We’ll have plenty of other chances.”
I find myself shaking my head. “No, I want to. I just have a lot on my mind.”
He grins with that same understanding look he’s had since the first night we slept side-by-side. “Okay. Let’s have that talk after, then. Alright?”
His hands begin tenderly undoing my kimono as he continues giving me soft pecks on the lips. As if fully aware of how I feel, he’s suddenly being so patient and gentle. His kisses are lax and slow as the garment falls off me, and he helps me step out of my underwear. He draws my naked form close as I start trying to loosen his clothing. It takes a few minutes before his kimono drops to the floor below us, shortly followed by his underwear.
There’s a brief sense of relief as he pulls me into him, and we’re now together with nothing between us. We make out, but for once without urgency and force, as the same gentleness he’s shown me persists even into this. As he withdraws from our kiss, his red-brown eyes stare at me with genuine affection and care. “I love you, my starlight.”
I will be the starlight to your darkness in this life and beyond.
He’s directly referencing my vow to him, and I can’t help but smile at that. “I love you, too, my darkness.”
I draw him back into a kiss, the intensity of it rising as we continue. He’s brought his hands to my upper back as he grinds his hard length against mine. I wrap a paw around both of our cocks, pressing them together as he continues with that same rhythm, eliciting a moan from him. “Ease up a bit. You’re getting me too close.”
I relax my grip and notice how concerned he suddenly looks. “You seem like you’re in a rush. That isn’t like you.”
That expression also tells me that the mood has been killed for him. He leads me over to the bed and directs me to lie down before climbing in and cuddling up next to me. He brings my head down to his chest. He’s trying to soothe me. “Kenji, what’s going on?”
How do I even begin to describe the horrifying experience? Even just thinking of the pain, grief, and anguish I felt makes my eyes start to water. “I saw something earlier when you put your forehead to mine. It was terrifying.”
His arms tighten around me a bit as I continue my explanation. “I was both Emperor Amicus and his human a few years ago when they fought Cato for emperorship. I watched it from both of their eyes at once, felt everything they felt: the disturbing sensation of having your throat sliced open, the pain of watching someone you love die. I felt all of it.”
He softly kisses my forehead. “So, that’s what those tears were from.”
This part is not going to be fun to explain. “At the same time that I saw and felt all of that, I heard you. You were screaming in the distance, begging to be able to help them. Crying, as Amicus watched his human die. I think what I saw might be a memory of yours.”
It’s not as subtle as I’d like, but if I dwell any further on that vision, I’m going to turn into a bawling mess. “You said there’s parental tech energy in your brain. I know you don’t remember it consciously, but you need to think about it. What happened there? How did it happen?”
I look up at him to see that he’s deep in thought. That doesn’t last long as an expression of absolute horror creeps across his face. I hear that weird accent of his as he speaks in his native language. “Oh my fucking god.”
He’s trying to hold himself back from sobbing as dampness from his eyes soaks into his beard. “Oh my fucking god.”
I didn’t want to watch this happen to him, but the Monitor made it sound important. Now I’m regretting listening to it as I watch my husband wince in pain, clutching his head in one hand as he cries. He’s still speaking in his native tongue. “Oh my fucking god.”
The next thing I know, I’m holding him in my arms as he bawls into my shoulder. “I couldn’t do anything. I wanted to help them so bad, and I couldn’t do a goddamn thing!”
I try to draw him closer to me, as close as I can possibly get. “Ren, I know it hurts. I felt it. You need to think about what happened. How did you even get there to see that?”
His sobs slow as he tries to catch his breath. The accent is gone, telling me that he’s speaking Yamatorian again. “I was asleep. Then I felt so much pain in the distance. It was so loud. So I followed it to where I heard it from. I found myself watching that fight unfold from both of their eyes. Every injury, every moment of anguish, I felt all of it. I wanted to help them. If I had somehow found my way there, I should have had some ability to do something! I failed them.”
I rub his head with my paw. Using the parental tech energy in his head, he mentally traveled in his sleep to Adastra to witness that horrific event four years ago. It doesn’t surprise me that he buried the memory of it. “You didn’t fail them. You weren’t even physically on the same planet as them. It was impossible for you to intervene, but you didn’t need to. Even though that experience was terrible for both of them, they’re both alive and well.”
Knowing Ren, this seems completely in character for him. Watching others suffer is so intolerable for him that his reactions to it are almost pup-like. It’s no wonder he was so attentive to Amicus, meeting him years later after witnessing that, even if he didn’t consciously remember it.
I hear him sniffling as his face is still buried in my chest. “It hurt. It hurt so bad to watch those poor kids suffer. They love each other so damn much, and they didn’t deserve that.”
He’s still weeping as I rub his back. I say it out loud without thinking. “I married a man with a big heart.”
I did. I know I did, and it’s killing me that I was asked to do this to him. My guilt gnaws at me as I continue trying to calm him down. Eventually, he seems to fall asleep, apparently exhausted by uncovering that memory. I pull the bed covers over him before getting up to retrieve my tablet from my clothes. As the device opens, I begin thinking about what I’m going to say as I pull up Amicus’s contact information and start a new message.
Your Imperial Majesty,
Some things have recently come to light that I feel you need to be informed about.
I pause and sigh loudly, not wanting to type out what comes next.