Chapter Text
The restlessness that followed—grabbing his arm, his ankle, snatching at his clothes—made him feel seasick.
Despite the solid ground under his bed, the world tilted. His arms and legs felt heavy, they buzzed and hurt under the sheets. He tried sticking one foot out from under the blankets and flipped his pillow over. Synapses thunderously racing. All of that and he still couldn't get comfortable. Out of habit, when his leg stretched out too far on the other side of the bed, Pen flinched back.
The beginning of an apology to someone that wasn't there souring on his tongue.
If he could just lightly be panini pressed into the bed, no room for overthinking, that might make him feel a little better. Get his body to still.
He allowed his thoughts to drift, hoping it would be long enough for sleep to come.
A lightning thought struck him—the faceless want, the desire for the warmth of another person that he'd been avoiding for so long. Pen did so because he knew that his body would be on a completely different plane than where his mental and emotional state resided.
He sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face.
It wasn't Cherri's fault, but she was the match to the fuse woven with the numerous ways he'd been neglecting himself.
Her hair always reminded Cherri of an oil spill.
The brighter the color, the more lethal the venom or something.
Eyes like a siren.
Beautiful, but dangerous.
All of the shit causing Cherri trouble taken away with an invisible tide. It went away just like that. It didn't matter. Any remnants dissolved under the acid of her tone, giving Cherri tunnel vision. Cherri could ask her to decipher it—work, bad hookups, and Pen—and she'd give her a kaleidoscopic look halfway between amusement and pity for the painfully obvious, seeing Cherri right down to her cartilage and bones.
"Suburban boredom."
"You've got a hunger that destines you for more, Cher. It's the same thing that runs through my own veins." Dark eyes and the lethal cut of her eyeliner pinning Cherri in place. "You need room to stretch your legs."
That was probably something along the lines of what she'd say.
And it would make Cherri feel soothed and ravenous for that change.
The first time she fell for it, Cherri thought it was sincere. That she was truly being seen in a way that ran parallel to the way Anthony saw Cherri. It was love and lust undiluted. It took her longer than it should have to realize it was total bullshit, but it was worth shrugging off for the things that went right, that felt good.
Nobody was ever perfect in a relationship.
Every relationship had its ups and downs.
The difference between now and then is that Cherri knew the good, the bad, the ugly, and was aware of why she invited this woman back into her life. That's why it wouldn't be as bad this time, opening her apartment door and seeing her waiting for Cherri to invite her in.
It wasn't emotional, it was physical.
Temporary.
A battery jump.
"Hey, Cherri Bomb."
There were streaks of teal in her hair now, with a darker green dyed underneath. Looking at her was like diving into an oceanic trench, a game to test how deep Cherri could go without running out on her oxygen supply. Sharks in the water as she swam further but she didn't notice and couldn't care, not when her goal was in reach.
"Haven't heard that one in a minute." Cherri propped her hand on her hip and stepped back to let her in. She always liked the sound of her name on her tongue, the drawl of her voice.
Just because there wasn't necessarily anyone to get over, it didn't mean there wasn't a good reason to get under somebody else. Having that focus, the intensity with its fatal accuracy, could get anyone to plunge head first into the rush.
She still remembered all of the places Cherri loved to be touched.
When she showered, she played music from her phone that Cherri hadn't heard before and saved a few of the songs she liked the sound of.
The music continued as she painted Cherri's nails and complained about someone she thought everyone should know about or assumed they did. She had more tattoos on her hands, the length of her fingers. They reminded her of the spines on lionfish. When she was done painting Cherri's nails, she told her to sit tight for them to dry while she got them something to eat.
Like they'd only been away from each other for a week.
Cherri watched some of the excess paint spill into her cuticles, temporarily dying her skin.
The house was still and silent, even though Pen was pretty sure he saw Anthony's car parked out front on the way inside and noticed there was a handful of mail on the coffee table that hadn't been there this morning.
He didn't put too much thought into it as he changed out of his work clothes, twisting his hair up with a claw clip, and went back downstairs to flip through the mail before he went to the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner.
Rain began to patter against the windows and he hummed under his breath while he glanced through the cabinets. The rain picked up quickly, lightning lit up the house, and thunder rumbled overhead. Pen headed to the living room to look out the front window when the door burst open.
Anthony and Cherri (and a little of the rain and wind) spilled inside, the sound of the storm amplified, the rain beating down on the cars and sidewalk. Anthony gave it one last look over his shoulder before he shut the door after Cherri.
"G-guess we should'a looked at the f-forecast before we went on th-that w-walk," Anthony shivered, sweeping his hair out of his eyes.
"Ya think?" Cherri attempted to squeeze out some of the water from her shirt, but it didn't help much. It was soaked through, her hair dripping and saturating any dry spots.
They laughed as they shuffled in, continents of puddles formed on the floor, seeping into each other as they spread out. Anthony's shoes slipped over a puddle with a screech, but Cherri caught him by the arm just in time. When he glanced up, squinting at Pen past his bangs that dripped water into his eyes, he smiled.
"Oh, hey."
Pen watched as they sat down to get out of their shoes. "Hey. I heard it's really nice outside today, I hope you remembered sun block."
Anthony snorted at Pen's remark.
"I'll grab some towels."
"Thanks, buddy."
Pen hustled up the stairs and got two beach towels for them, taking them back down and tossing one at each of them. "Did you two already have plans for dinner? If you're going out, I mean."
Anthony wriggled out of his shirt and halfheartedly threw it at Cherri's face, running the towel over his arms and chest. "Nah, we're probably gonna stay in now."
"I had just began looking to see what we have."
"Sounds alright with me. Cher?"
She scrunched some of the water out of her hair with the towel and shrugged. "Fine with me."
"I'll get changed and be back down to help you get things started."
Pen nodded, watching Anthony turn on his heel and step right into another puddle. His foot slid through it as he went down a second time, Pen and Cherri going to help him at the exact same time. They bumped into each other but managed to right Anthony without any casualties.
"Before you go up the stairs, are you insured?" Pen brushed his damp hands over his pants, giving Anthony a look when he got his foot on the first stair.
"I'm pretty sure."
Cherri rolled her eyes and nudged Anthony out of her way, zooming up the stairs. "Dibs on blow dryer first."
"What?! No, this is my house. That's my blow dryer." He ran up the stairs after her, missing one and almost giving Pen a heart attack, but kept going. "Don't worry about the water, we'll get it when we come back down," Anthony called over his shoulder.
"Okay," Pen lied, knowing full well he was going to mop it up the second Anthony was out of sight.
Which was exactly what he did.
By the time he was done mopping all of the water up and put the mop away, his housemate was coming in behind him into the kitchen.
"You dirty, mother hen."
"Sorry, I wasn't prepared to bank on 'pretty sure' to the insurance question. You would've had to go back through the water to get to the mop." When he turned around to see him, Pen laughed at the frizz and wavy clumps on Anthony's head.
"Shut up! Cherri's still usin' the blow dryer." He ran his fingers through his bangs, causing them to stick out more.
But they didn't waste anymore time goofing off, they rifled through the fridge and cabinets and, by the time they had started cooking, Cherri came into the kitchen to sit at the island.
"Jesus, who the fuck got a hold of you?" Anthony hooked his finger into the collar of the large t-shirt Cherri had borrowed to display the full extent of a mark on her skin.
When Pen's eyes accidentally met hers, she yanked the shirt out of Anthony's hand and covered it back up. "Hey, fuck off, yeah?"
He cast his eyes down to the tile, moving around the kitchen to continue cooking.
That definitely hadn't been him to do that.
"I— Did you give that guy at the bar your number? I didn't think—"
"You mean the one that thought we were together?"
Before Pen could catch himself, he made a noise as he turned off the eye of the stove. He tried to cover it with a cough and blushed when he saw the way Anthony and Cherri were looking at him. "Sorry, not like— I mean-" He gestured at Anthony.
Cherri's eyes slowly dragged away from Pen back to Anthony. "No, I did not give that sorry sack with zero comprehension skills my phone number."
"Oh, did you go somewhere else and meet someone?"
Cherri smiled awkwardly, brushing past Anthony and Pen to get plates from the cabinet. "Details aren't important. I…got what I was looking for."
Anthony chanced a glance at Pen, like he would understand the situation better.
And look, Pen doesn't normally care what Cherri thinks but if he did, is that why she didn't say anything to him after? Did he miss some giant neon sign beyond the base reactions of her body?
"I guess congratulations?" Anthony accepted the plate Cherri offered out to him, watching her closely as she handed one to Pen, and circled back around to get food.
She didn't even pretend to hand Pen a plate and snatch it away when he reached for it.
Cherri went to the dining table without another word and, when she was gone, Anthony looked at Pen one last time, but all he could do was shrug his shoulders before getting his own food.
It was a relief that Anthony didn't pick the conversation back up, instead he chatted about the usual stuff while they ate. Pen tried to go unnoticed for the most part, not to bring Cherri's attention to him in this delicate neutrality precariously balanced with Anthony in the room.
It wasn't too bad.
He was happy to go along with it, adding to the conversation when Anthony said something to him every now and again. Pen laughed at the fond barbs they tossed at each other without it being weird. The rare times they were together for an extended period of time together, he very much felt like third wheel. Or a charity case.
And boy, did he love nothing more than to be reminded what middle and high school felt like.
Maybe…Maybe they could pull this off without everything crumbling into ruins. Move on and—
Cherri's phone buzzed on the table with a phone call, before he could catch himself, Pen glanced at the phone.
G-something…
"Who the fuck is that?"
Pen froze at Anthony's tone and Cherri snatched her phone off of the table, placing it in her lap and digging back into the rest of her food.
"Nobody."
"Cherri, don't tell me she was the one to give ya the—
"It doesn't matter who did it." She took another bite. "What's it to you anyway?"
Pen may not go a fraction of the way back with Anthony than Cherri did, but Pen knew enough that those five words weren't ones to throw around in serious conversation. It triggered a very specific response in Anthony and his siblings, even when they turned it on each other.
Anthony narrowed his eyes at Cherri. "How fucking bad does a fuck hafta be you're running around with her again?"
Cherri paled before an angry flush bloomed on her cheeks, snapping her eyes to Pen and back to Anthony. "I'm sure Pen doesn't want to hear why you care so badly about who I fuck."
Oh no.
"Because she's bad news and ain't never bothered to change. She treated you like shit. We're too fuckin' old to be goin' down this road again. Want anymore reasons?"
Yep, danger. He was in danger.
"You're not my fuckin' father, Anthony." Her fork clattered harshly against her plate when she dropped it to lay her palms flat on the table. "Just because Husk came in and saved your ass from makin' the same lousy decisions with the same lousy kinda guys, doesn't mean you get to act like you're better than me now. How many losers did you waste time with just because the sex was, allegedly, good?"
Pen silently set his fork down and slowly rose out of his chair to save his own neck and give them some privacy, but Anthony stopped him, reaching his hand out to somehow assure Pen any of this was fine.
"You ain't gotta go anywhere. I'm done."
Anthony shoved his chair away from the table and stormed away, his footsteps stomping up the stairs and above them as he went to his bedroom. Cherri and Pen flinched when he slammed the door hard enough to rattle the walls.
Cherri deflated in her chair.
Gently, Pen stacked his plate with Anthony's and grabbed their cups to clear them off of the table. Cherri rested her elbows on the table and rubbed her fingers into her temples.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but she beat him to it.
"I can take care of my shit." Cherri got up from the table and snatched her dishes up, like Pen already had his hands stretched out.
She set the glass in the sink and scraped her plate over the trashcan before she put it in the sink with the rest of it.
Pen trailed behind her into the kitchen and softly cleared his throat.
"God, what? What, I'm cleaning up after myself. What do you want?"
He sighed. "Do you need a ride home?"
"I don't need anything from you."
Business as usual.
Cherri stalked out of the kitchen and went to the front of the house to get her shoes on, stole one of Anthony's jackets, and grabbed her bag before leaving. She slammed the door behind her and Pen stared up at the ceiling, half expecting Anthony to come out and demand what fucking bills she pays to be slammin' doors in his house.
He held his breath and counted to ten.
When nothing catastrophic happened, he followed behind Cherri. Pen was quick to catch up to her on the sidewalk, but it wasn't the wisest idea he realized as she wheeled around on him with her fist pulled back, ready to swing.
Pen threw his hands up and backpedaled out of her reach. "Woah, hey. It's me."
"Is that supposed to convince me to lower my hand?," Cherri snarled, looking him up and down. "Go the fuck back and leave me alone."
"Do you want a ride home?"
"You already asked that!" She spat the word at his feet. "I'm so tired of your fake politeness. This-this accented bullshit you use to make people think you're a good person. It makes me beyond livid that you come in on the white horse only after you fucked me."
He narrowed his eyes at her, hissing under his breath. "Alert the entire neighborhood, why don't you?"
She jutted her chin up at him, ready to make due on the question, but he cut her off. "That's not true and you know it." Pen took a breath. "If it was anyone else asking, would your answer change?"
"No."
"Fine." Instead of listening to her and going back home, Pen stayed. He took a breath and closed one eye, bracing for the hit that was coming at his next question. "The night you went out and I…Did I do something you didn't like?"
"No, you fucking ego maniac." Her fist dropped fractionally, but he knew he wasn't safe. If anything, she'd never looked so offended by his existence before. "I told you that nothing you did was anything I couldn't handle."
"Not like that." Pen shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets hoping it would calm her down if she saw him take the opposite measures to defend herself. "Did I do something you didn't want?"
"No. Now fuck off."
Well, maybe he was an ego maniac.
But he didn't—
He didn't want something he did to have driven her to someone that made Anthony react like that.
At least it had stopped raining.
The odd thing about Cherri and Anthony's relationship was that even when they argued, really dug their heels in and called each other on their shit, they didn't avoid being around each other and didn't stop speaking. Not that Pen could say for sure he'd seen them argue like that since he met them.
But it was admirable.
"I know it's not fair to put you more in the middle of this thing with me an' Cher, but look—We can't let this person in the house. If it didn't involve the possibility of getting robbed, then I wouldn't be makin' such a big deal about it." Anthony sat down beside Pen on the couch and pulled up someone's social media profile.
Pen watched as Anthony brought up a photo of a tall woman with long, black hair. She had colored streaks dyed throughout it and stark eye makeup. He swiped through a few more pictures before he went back to the main page and scrolled until he found a picture of her and Cherri together. This one was a few years older, her hair color a little different. So was Cherri's, shorter with more jagged layers.
Anthony swiped away from the pictures and back to the feed, dropping his phone on the space of cushion between them. "You saw the name on the profile, right?"
"Yes, G—"
"Ah! Nono. Don't say her name, she's like fucking Beetlejuice. That was Cherri's ex or situationship, I don't even know what to actually call it. Cherri never really told me what it was. It's been on and off in the past, but I thought she was gone for good the last time she fucked shit up for Cherri." Anthony sighed and slumped back on the couch. "She's capital B Bad News as decided by a literal court of law."
"I see." Pen chewed on his lip. "Do you think Cherri would bring her here?"
Anthony folded his hands over his middle, looking up at the ceiling. "No, but she's been in the house before."
"Anthony."
"Yeah?"
"Are you…" Pen hedged, "…okay?"
His housemate shot him a goofy grin. "If I say no, does that mean we get to do facials and paint each other's nails?"
Pen laughed, but didn't push further. He was fine if Anthony didn't want to talk about it, he asked and Anthony knew he cared, that's all that mattered.
Anthony nervously ran his hands through his hair, making some of it stuck up at funny angles. "I'm worried about her."
"I know."
"Can I…" Anthony shifted awkwardly on the couch cushion. "Can I ask you something?"
"Any time. I can't promise I'll have the answer." He's got a sinking feeling he knew where this was headed.
"Did something really that bad happen between you and Cherri?"
"It's not one instance." Pen brushed his palms up and down his thighs, pausing to stutter out a rhythm with his fingertips on his knees. "We're too different and too stubborn, I guess."
"You guess?"
He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at the smug look Anthony shot him. "Fine, I know. I— If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell her I told you?"
Anthony smacked his tongue, unfolding his hands and raising off of the couch. "If you're about to cop to a felony or some shit, I'm leaving."
"No, nothing illegal." Pen cleared his throat. "It's embarrassingly immature. The night Molly and Cherri were over at the same time for dinner, right after I moved in." He rubbed the back of his neck, forcing the words out. "This is so childish that it meant this much and led to this mess. I overheard her and Molly talking in the kitchen. Your sister said something to Cherri about me being handsome."
"As her brother, I'm contractually obligated to say she could do better."
Pen leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees as a stilted laugh bubbled out of his chest. "Funny, that's what Cherri said too."
"Oh."
"But it was a little more than just that. Cherri…told Molly about how she and I met, she gave a rather decided—" He took a breath. "Opinion on my body from what she'd seen. Neither of them knows I heard that conversation."
If 'nothing I haven't seen before' didn't sit right with him, what she said to Molly nearly obliterated him on the spot.
"Well, that…sucks. I think you look alright." Anthony caught Pen in an awkward hug and attempted to kiss his cheek. "You're just not my type and also, stay away from my sister."
"Get off," Pen laughed. He wrestled out of Anthony's bony arms and shoved him away. "You already know Molly and I don't feel that way about each other, what Cherri said doesn't have any sway on that fact…I'm not without blame in the things between Cherri and I. I've said and done shitty stuff too. You still won't say anything, right?"
"No, I won't say anything."
When someone offered to listen, it was supposed to be a relief to open up and take some accountability. Deal with the situation and feelings that got you in a jam in the first place and maybe sleep a little better.
It wouldn't sting as much. It would lose some of its power.
His phone began to light up and buzz around 1 o'clock in the morning, texts and missed calls from Cherri. It felt like he was suspended in water, trying to swim forward fast enough to wrap his fingers around his phone.
As his hand fumbled over the bedside table, he knocked his glasses' case into the floor. When he managed to answer the next call that came through, Cherri was loud and tipsy. Belligerently asking for Anthony and hanging up with an annoyed groan every time she heard Pen's voice on the line.
It wasn't exactly a pleasure cruise for him either.
He texted Anthony to let him know that Cherri was trying to call him, but didn't wait to see if he replied before he laid back down in bed.
At 2 o'clock, he got a text.
Come gte me pls
Pen swore, throwing his blankets back and grabbing the case off of the floor to put on his glasses so he could see to get dressed.
Address?
He grabbed his keys and wallet off of his desk and fumbled in the dark down the stairs. Refusing to deal with bright light and simultaneously hoping he'd fall and knock himself unconscious, since that seemed to be the only way he was getting sleep tonight. By the time he got in his car and started it, Cherri had sent him the address and a text had come in from Anthony.
Me n Husk are out
It's fine.
She sent me the address,
going now.
As he pulled out of the parking spot, Anthony called him. Pen cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder to put the car in drive.
"Hey."
"Are you sure? Like if it's close we can get her. I just don't know how long it would take us to get there."
Pen sighed. "All I have to do is pick her up and drop her off at her house, how hard could it be?"
"Well now you've opened yourself a can of worms askin' that question out loud. If it's bad, you can take her to Husk's. She knows where the spare key is and I can give you gas money."
"Okay."
"Thank you so fucking much."
"Yeah, no problem. I'll let you know when I get there."
Maps told him she was about 20 minutes away, so he sent her his ETA at a stoplight and set his phone in the cup holder when it turned green.
By the time he pulled up in front of a house, he saw Cherri sitting on the front steps alone. He pulled up to the curb and put his car in park, leaving the engine on as he got out. Cherri stood up slowly, wavering as she looked from the car to Pen, the headlights bathing him in light.
"Cherri, are you—"
"What are you doing here?"
Again, the thing where she enunciated every word to bulldoze him with every meaning that could be contrived. Offense and annoyance mostly. Pen sighed, his shoulders sagging.
"Hilarious."
"Anthony's on his way."
"No, he's not, Cherri." He walked closer to the steps, coming to a stop when he saw her tense up. "He's out with Husk. You've been blowing my phone up."
"No, I wasn't." She took a step back up, putting more distance between them. The pulse of muffled music coming from inside the house a staccato heart rate. "You're freaking me out. How the fuck did you know where I am?"
Pen sighed, he raised his hands in a placating gesture and eased a step away from her. "Just…Look at your phone. If Anthony's coming, you can show me his text and I'll leave."
"Fine." Cherri pulled out her phone and unlocked it, the light from the screen revealing every minute change in her expression as it dawned on her that he was right. She dropped her hands to her sides. "We don't like each other."
"Hey."
She glanced up at him again.
"If you say you need to leave somewhere and want to go home, I'm not going to leave you stranded. That'd be cruel."
He half expected her to launch into a proper breakdown of her argument he was only being nice now because of what they did. He was prepared to list the ways they hadn't been completely awful to each other, but not in the middle of the night in front of a stranger's house.
The look on her face didn't assure him that was off of the table, but the door opened behind her, flashing lights spilling onto the doorstep as someone shuffled across the doormat.
When she turned to see who it was, one foot raised to move out of the way, the person spoke.
"Cherri?"
She froze for a split second before she flew down the stairs, passing Pen to get to his car. Cherri's hand brushed his arm like she wasn't above throwing him into the line of fire to slow them down. Pen watched her climb into the car without turning or saying anything to the person that was trying to get her attention.
"What's going on?"
Pen looked back at the house, the person halfway down the steps to the sidewalk, and frowned at them. "She's going home."
"Who even are you? Does she know you?"
"She ordered a ride." He walked away, rounding the car without another word. He went to open the door but it was locked. Pen tapped his knuckle on the window. "Cherri, can you unlock the door?"
She reached across the seat to unlock his door, retreating back to her side when he opened it and slid in.
"Anthony's going to enjoy being right and rub it in my face again."
"I told him I'd let him know when I got here." Pen buckled his seat belt and double checked she had hers on before he pulled away.
She groaned, resting her forehead on the window, but pulled out her phone to call Anthony. Her phone was just loud enough for him to hear when Anthony picked up. "Hey. I'm alive. I think somebody brought shit they made under their sink again. The buzz is fucked."
Pen focused on the road, trying not to listen too closely. They spoke back and forth for about five minutes before she said goodbye and hung up.
"I don't want to go home."
He scoffed, using the blinker before he turned a corner. "Well, I'm not taking you to another bar."
Cherri sighed, rolling her head against the back of the seat to look at Pen. "Can we—"
We had connotations now and he only had himself to blame.
"—just go back to yours and Anthony's place? I'll sleep in Anthony's room."
"Okay."
Depending on the full scope of 'stuff someone made under the kitchen sink' and the fucked buzz, it probably wasn't a good idea to leave her totally alone. He highly doubted she would go for Anthony's alternate plan for her to sleepover at Husk's.
They drove the rest of the way in silence.
Once they got back to his house, Pen unlocked the door and flipped on the light, holding the door open for her. Cherri shuffled in and slumped down on the couch, she quietly watched him lock the door and toss his keys and wallet down on the table by the door.
She spoke up when he turned to her.
"Nice slutty, gray sweatpants."
Pen closed his eyes and rubbed his brow. "You're welcome."
"I don't think I've seen you with glasses on before."
He sighed, climbing a few of the steps. "You should get something to eat and drink, then go to bed."
Cherri snorted. "Is that an order?"
"If it was," Pen paused, leaning over the banister to talk to her. "Would it make a difference on whether you did it or not?"
"Nope."
"Then I'm saving my breath." Pen went up the stairs and back to his room. He took his sweats back off and plugged his phone into charge.
Anthony had sent another message, so he answered that before he laid back down under the covers. When he turned to lay on his left side, Cherri was standing beside the bed, with a glass of water in one hand and a cheese stick and candy bar in her other. It took him a few moments for his brain to catch up.
How was she so fucking quiet?
But snapped out of it as she set the glass on the other bedside table.
"What're you doing?"
"What you said." She may not have been drunk, but he could tell she wasn't fully present, a certain slackness to her movements.
"Cherri, you can't sleep in here."
"Why not?" Unbothered, she ripped the plastic open on the cheese with her teeth and began to eat it.
She wasn't sober.
They don't get along.
"You're going to sleep in Anthony's room. We talked about that, remember?"
She didn't answer him, focused on her snack and nothing else. Pen sighed.
"Fine. Eat your snacks and drink your water."
He rose up from the bed and went to the door.
"Where are you going?"
"To get something to drink. I'll be back up." A lie, but it was a lie she believed or, at least, didn't fight him on.
Pen grabbed a spare pillow and blanket from the linen closet and took them downstairs to sleep on the couch. He went around turning out all of the lights and noticed Cherri left the fridge door wide open. It had a tendency of doing that if someone didn't push with enough force to close it all of the way. Normally, he'd be annoyed.
He'd have something to say to her about how childishly messy she was. Remind her how she knew the fridge was like that. Definitely wouldn't have listened to her and took her straight home, dragging her out the door if he needed to. If Pen didn't do that, he would have certainly not let her worm her way into his room, his bed, and drive him out.
Pen put his glasses on the coffee table and laid down.
Could've, should've, and would've if he didn't keep replaying the moment she hustled down the stairs and got in his car.
Fuck, someone better than him would have thought to ask her if something happened or offered her some kind of comfort.
Pen stretched on the couch, his back pinched uncomfortably from not having the right amount of room to fully lay down. He rubbed his hand over his face and blinked his eyes open.
As the room took shape—blurry, too much light—he jumped when he noticed Cherri sitting cross-legged in a chair with a bowl of cereal, watching him.
"Jesus." Pen's head slumped back on the pillow and he tossed his arm over his eyes. "What're you doing?"
"Eatin' breakfast." She paused to scoop up another bite, slurping the milk off of the spoon. "Been trying to wake you up. The alarm on your phone started goin' off about 10 minutes ago."
"Oh." He sat up, processing what she said. "Thanks."
"No problem." Back to the cereal—tink of the spoon against the bowl, crunch of the cereal, and slurping the milk noisily. Somehow louder than the first time.
Pen relaxed back into the couch.
"So, did we fuck?"
He sat up quick, swung his legs over the side of the couch, and rubbed his temples. Yes, okay, fine. He was fully awake. "No, of course not. What do you remember?"
Pen put on his glasses so he could actually see her.
Cherri snorted. "Everything, I'm just giving you a hard time."
"What about coming into my room?"
The humor fell from Cherri's face, the spoon grazed down the side of the bowl as she let it go. "That was the buzz. Like I was there but I wasn't in full control? I meant to go to Anthony's room. Even if you don't believe me."
"I believe you."
She picked her spoon back up and he let her take a few more bites of the cereal. "Obviously you don't have to answer anything, but…Did she leave you at the party?"
"Yep."
"Was everything okay for you before I got there?"
"Yeah."
Pen swallowed. "You know I didn't just do that because we slept together, right? I would pick anyone up if they needed it."
Cherri unfolded her legs and placed her bowl on the coffee table. "It matters to you?"
"It does."
"What if I said 'yes'? What would you do?" There wasn't anything in her tone that told him she was asking just to be difficult.
"Probably eat a shoe." Pen watched the last remaining pieces of milk-logged cereal bob in the bowl. "I would figure out what I needed to do to…fix it."
"My money's on thinkin' twice about where you put your dick."
A laugh bubbled out of him, loud and harsh in the quiet of the morning, but not in anger. He was caught off guard. "You're right."
Cherri picked up her bowl and took it into the kitchen to drain the milk, rinsing the bowl before coming back to the living room.
Pen stood up, raising his arms over his head to stretch to make his back pop. That felt a little better. "I have to leave for work in about an hour, do you want a ride home?"
"No, kinda want the fresh air. But I am getting a shower and after, I'm going to use some of Anthony's expensive skincare shit and probably steal a shirt. You're not allowed to narc on me."
"Deal."
The odd thing about Cherri is that she was good at luring him into a false sense of security any time something felt close to a truce. Pen didn't think that was the case right now, but he couldn't be sure. So, he accepted it for what it was, but stayed alert.
"Hey."
Pen stopped on the stairs to look at Cherri. "Yeah?"
"What you said before about the ride, I know you would." She brushed her bangs out of the way and nodded her head. "Thanks, by the way."
Later, when Anthony pressed for details, Pen didn't mention anything about Cherri's ex.
"I know you don't like keeping secrets from Anthony."
Husk was quiet, offering Pen a strained expression. "No, but I can understand why you aren't ready to tell him. I think he'd just be glad you reached out to have someone with you. Maybe one day, when you're ready, you can tell him."
Pen bit the inside of his cheek, hard, to center himself. "That's not likely. The last thing I need is for this to make it back to Molly or Cherri. I just, don't want to deal with the pity, y'know? I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime. And Cherri would probably go wild for this kind of dirt."
"Hey." Husk's strong, warm palm rested on Pen's shoulder. "I don't think Cherri'd go that far."
A wet laugh escaped Pen—he had to laugh, otherwise, he'd cry and put this off even more than he already had. "You're not going to defend Anthony and Molly?"
Husk sighed. "I want to, but they're hopeless romantics and they genuinely care about you. They would - me and Vin too - want to celebrate that moment with you. It's hard watching someone you care about hurt, knowing there's not much you can do to take that pain away."
Pen rested his forehead on the steering wheel. "This is in the top 3 most mortifying moments of my life. It might actually be number one."
"If it's too much—"
He took a shuddering breath, his throat tightened. "It is, but this is the right thing to do."
Husk gently shook Pen's shoulder and offered him a supportive smile. "Open the car doors together on 3?"
Pen raised off of the steering wheel and put his hand on the door handle. "Yeah, on three.
A woman noticed them the second they got through the door, she grinned as she approached them. "Hi, how can I help you today?"
"Hi. I'm here for a….return."