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Chapter Text

15th of December - I woke last night with a terrible feeling of dread encompassing me, I don’t know what flight of madness possessed me, but I found myself suddenly moved to run out onto the street. I was fortunate that the hour was so late or I might have been seen by a passer by and perhaps mistaken as an escaped patient from the asylum, walking the streets in nothing but my nightwear… God what a sight I must have been! I returned home as soon as my senses returned to me. I shan’t tell Mina of this, as she is still recovering from the terror of what was only a few weeks ago and I do not wish to worry her…has it truly been a few weeks since that day? To me it seems as if it was simultaneously a lifetime and but a breath away. The cold snow of that night has yet to leave me in peace.

In the morning I made my excuses to Mina, something about a call to the post office and walked myself down to the physicians. I decided not to go to Dr.Seward as he too is still recovering, especially after poor Lucy passed.. I fear admitting anything wrong with me might send the poor man into shock! I arrived at the doctor's office and was greeted kindly, after I described my symptoms the doctor diagnosed me with a bout of somnambulism most likely brought on from stress. Embarrassingly, the man eyed my hair as he told me this, before prescribing me a sleeping draught. I know Mina has told me that she doesn't mind it, but I may take up the offer from my barber to dye it back to its natural colour.. (Mem.ask for examples, next cut.) At least until it hopefully grows back to its normal state, I have been getting some uncomfortable looks.

I spent most of the rest of the day reading, Mina and I had a wonderful lunch together, followed by a wonderful dinner, we talked about almost anything that came to our minds. I am eternally grateful that I am able to spend my days in such bliss with her, even though the shadows of the past seem to haunt us still. I find myself occasionally still shivering from the feeling of the long gone snow, and sometimes I catch Mina staring out of the window, watching for some unseen figure in the distance. We help calm each other on those nights we wake in terror, I am so very lucky to have her.

-

20th of December - It happened again. For the past few days the sleeping draught seemed to have been effective and I stayed in bed until morning. Last night however, I woke to find myself already in the street. I must have fallen at some point as I had a terrible pain in my arm, but I haven’t yet looked to see if there is a bruise, in truth I am terrified to check and find a bite mark instead. The pain is fading now as I write this, and I do not think there was any blood. That feeling from before also returned. I don’t know how to describe it, a sudden shock of intense awareness– a feeling of inherent wrongness that I have never felt before, with a deep desperate desire to leave, to run. It is terrifying.

I still haven’t told Mina… She was asleep both times I returned in the night, and the truth is I felt an odd burning of shame sneaking through the door like I did. Like a child caught doing something he ought not to be doing. I walked in through the door as quietly as I possibly could, quieter than I even knew I could, and simply went back to sleep. I think now that I might’ve been walking at night the past couple days as well, as I have had an odd stiffness waking in the morning that I had just attributed to deep sleep. I don’t know what to do.

The doctor diagnosed me with a normal, natural condition, and I want so intensely for that to be the case.. But with our experiences in the last year I am paranoid to the point of exhaustion. Perhaps– I might ask Mina if she would be partial to inviting the two from the whole debacle over for dinner, maybe for Christmas, and use the time to pull Van Helsing aside. If not just to ease my own mind. It would be good for Mina and I to see everyone all together as well, as some of the nightmares Mina and I share are of a similar make. Knowing that everyone is safe might help calm me enough to cease my night time meandering. Yes, I believe that is what I will do today.

-

25th of December - What a wonderful night! Surrounded by so many people and things to do on christmas day, I almost forgot to pull Van Helsing aside! First, the party. Mina is such a wonderful host, she graciously accepted my request to invite the two over along with a few other friends and set about preparing the dinner post-haste. She seemed much more lively once she had something to put her mind to, and organised the entire party with such ease, I joked with her that she did a better job of managing than my own employer! The entire evening was filled with laughter and talking, the warmth of the atmosphere put all my worries entirely out of my mind, and I have her to thank for making it possible. At the point the party was coming to a close, and some began to leave, I finally pulled the professor aside. I asked him if he would not mind staying the night (something that I was sure to ask Mina of beforehand) as I had something to discuss with him.

The man smiled and said “Of course Jonathan! Should we ask if Seward would spend the night as well? Ho ho, a reunion of sorts! We could even pour some brandy!” I reminded him that he had already had quite a bit of brandy already, but agreed to ask Seward if he would stay as well. All four of us ended up sitting in front of the fire and simply talking, the feeling of normalcy will fuel me for days to come I am sure of it. When Mina eventually bade us goodnight I asked the good professor about my troubles of sleepwalking and what he thought it could be.

It is good to have a man like him listen to your troubles, he sits sternly with his brow furrowed and nods to show he is listening, and spends a few moments thinking before replying. Van Helsing asked questions, and asked even more! Eventually he came to the same conclusion that the doctor I had visited as well, that it was simply a result of the stress I had faced in the past year or so. He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a strong squeeze in comfort. Seward had eventually joined the conversation as well, as much as I wanted to not worry him, his opinion as a doctor himself also helped to soothe my mind. We all ended up talking about the after, how sometimes Seward finds himself spooked when a bird flies past his window too quickly, or even Van Helsing admitting to having a nightmare or two himself. Imagine! The two most incredible men I know also suffer the same way that I do, it was an intensely comforting experience.

I write this now about to go to bed feeling the most calm I have in a long time. I might not take my sleeping draught tonight. I feel I wont be needing it.

-

30th of December - It truly seems that my bout of sleepwalking has well and truly left me. I no longer need a sleeping draught, and I wake up securely in my own bed. I will be returning to work in late January, as the leave I was allowed after some convincing of my employer by Seward is slowly running out. I do hope that Mina will be alright with me gone most of the day. There is of course no danger if she is left alone, but I still feel troubled when either of us are apart for too long. I haven’t told her this worry of mine though, I don’t want her to think she has to stay with me at all moments of the day. We have started the habit of reading together in the evening before having dinner together. It helps me when we spend time together like that, to know she is close and safe. Today I finally journeyed down to the barbers again to ask for my hair to be dyed, however because it is as close as it is to new years, It was terribly busy. The man said that he could only make room for me in the new year!

Honestly– I am anxious to dye it, whenever Mina and I take walks, or if I leave the house for an errand, I get a large manner of odd looks from strangers in the street. I know it is an odd sight, a man in his twenties with such a shock of white hair, the rumours I must stir! Most only know of my sudden disappearance as a work trip gone awry, what would they think if they knew the truth. I have seen children point in my direction before being admonished by their parents, even though the parents themselves are no better, I've even seen a few crossing themselves as I walk by. The pity in their eyes reminds me of the villagers from Romania, and I feel compelled to walk much faster. Worst of all was the time just a few days ago when a man in a shop dropped his inkwell when spotting my hair, surely it can not be that much of a shock! I was so embarrassed that I walked out the door without even buying anything, what a day that was.

In other news, we are planning to go to a friend of ours for a new years celebration, as they offered after we hosted a Christmas dinner. Things are getting easier, and a new year is coming. I am so very ready for this year to be over and done with.

-

2nd of January - I understand now, oh God! Oh Mina forgive me! I write this as my final goodbye I suppose, it seems my paranoid rambling had footing, even though I wish it had not. I woke once again in the night, this time the urge to run away was screaming at me with such an intensity it is a miracle I did not wake Mina on my departure. No– not a miracle. Only a part of a terrible ability I seem to now possess. I ran out into the street, how had I, on those previous nights never noticed how fast I ran? How I barely felt my breath leave my body. I again felt the cold of the snow. No! Not the snow! The chill, the ice that spread across my entire being , it was radiating from my core, my very soul. I suddenly realised I had run far enough that I could not even see our home any more, and it was then that I felt it, this yawning emptiness in my stomach, my very being. A pull so great, so grand I could never even begin to describe the thoughts that went through my head. I was barely cognizant and held onto my thoughts as desperately as possible, and then suddenly and without warning I found myself biting down on my forearm as hard as I could. Drawing blood.

It was then in some sick moment of self awareness, I realised what was happening. I was satiating the hunger that I felt with blood, just as that monster Count Dracula had done so before. I understand now that my haste to leave and run out into the street was the subconscious of mine preventing me from feasting upon my own dear Mina– oh God even the thought! It explains my arm that night, but oh God if I had met another on my way outside, what would I have done? I have been feeling ill the past few weeks I admit, and I have not gone out in the day as much as I ought to, sticking to leaving in the evenings when the sun is setting, but in the midst of winter I suppose I did not notice my avoidance of the sun.

At first I wondered if the Count had somehow returned, if the man was still stalking the streets even now after crumbling into dust. However I have a terrible yet reassuring feeling that, as I am now, I would know if the man was truly near… I have been a fool, I did not think that my time imprisoned by the Count affected me in the same way that it did Mina or poor Lucy, I do not think the thought even crossed my mind that I too had been fed on in the same way that they had been, and that I might gain the same afflictions that they did. Yet why– why do I still hold my mind? My thoughts are my own, and I have not yet been consumed by the same insanity that took hold of Lucy or that insatiable hunger I knew of Dracula’s three frightful brides. Perhaps because the man– monster that made me this way lies dead in the ground, but how have I stayed human-like for so long, only to now fall to this illness? If my heart would beat, perhaps it could tell me.

Oh God. I do not know what to do. I ought to turn myself in to the good professor, but he is beyond contact at the moment, and in truth I fear that he will do nothing but kill me. Perhaps that is for the best. I do not want to hurt anyone. Oh God! I will never forget the screams of the child that Count Dracula threw to his brides to keep them from devouring me in their hunger, I fear that I might turn out the same way. The professor is far across the world at the moment, studying in some faraway place, Seward is also away at the moment, what a terrible terrible coincidence. I cannot stay here, what if I hurt someone? What if I hurt Mina! Surely I cannot be satiated on my own blood for long…Will I even have any left?

Mina, I leave this journal to you, and if you are reading this– know I love you. I love you so much that I would rather die than ever risk hurting you in such a terrible way. Send for the professor, and Seward, and pray for me. Oh God please pray for me.

-

(Johnathan Harker's journal was found by a neighbour and returned to Mina Murray Harker on the 3rd of January, current whereabouts of Johnathan Harker is still unknown.)

Chapter Text

It was just a few months into the beginning of the new year, 1887, and Holmes and I had been requested to go and meet inspector Lestrade who had arrested a man suspected to be involved with some sort of gang. The man was due to be transported from Chatham Prison, where he had been arrested, up to Millbank Prison in London. It was a complex case as the man originally hailed from London but was able to somehow escape the clutches of the police during one of his transfers between prisons for questioning, it is suspected that he hopped a train to Chatham. However, even though the man ended up in Chatham he was not to be kept in prison there as his case was still technically in the jurisdiction of Scotland Yard.

Holmes and thus in extension myself were asked to come and interrogate the man, then help make sure his trip back to London was as secure as possible. Of course ‘interrogate’ really means me to sit back and watch as Sherlock deduces the man's life story through the way he takes his tea. It’s always an astounding thing to watch the man work, and I do enjoy joining him on his cases, but why he decided that I must join him in this particular case is honestly escaping me. There is nothing particularly interesting or different, no known hidden plot or scheme, in truth I think he might’ve asked me to join him so that he wouldn’t get too bored for the duration of his stay. What an odd partner I've found myself.

Our train arrived in London after an almost two hour delay, the London, Chatham, and Dover Railway are of course notorious for their inability to run on time, if at all! It was a marvel that the criminal was ever able to ride a train out to Chatham considering the unreliable train times that there are. The train was also terribly busy, and I quickly realised how a criminal would have little difficulty slipping into the crowd and blend into such a frenzy of people. We came to our seats, put away our luggage and began to converse about the trip ahead.

“You know, I don’t think I have ever visited Chatham, how about you Holmes?” I asked as I folded my coat.

He shook his head. “No, I have never had a reason to travel to Chatham before. Most of the cases I take tend to be in London, don’t they? All I care to know of it is of course, the dockyards, and the smugglers that haunt it.”

“A good place for a criminal to run to then?” I asked.

“Perhaps, yet I suspect the fellow got off the train once he believed he was far away enough to not be followed. Especially since one of the officers was able to follow him onto the train, it’s likely they were going back and forth checking people's tickets, the man got spooked and got off at whatever station he could.” Holmes placed a hand on his chin. “I do hope it will be interesting enough to be worth the summons.”

“I did wonder why you would agree to such a dull sounding case, the man is already caught as well. Was it really a summons you couldn’t refuse?” I questioned.

Holmes laughed before saying, “Dull? I really have been rubbing off onto you haven’t I Dr.Watson! But yes, troublingly as a direct request from Scotland Yard I really couldn’t do anything but agree. We should try to make the most of the trip I suppose, perhaps we should buy a souvenir for Ms.Hudson.”

“I suppose we should, shouldn’t we?” I chuckled.

—

Since our train had been delayed for such a long period of time, it was well into the evening by the time we arrived, around 8 o’clock in fact, the lamplight illuminating the platform around us. As our train pulled into the station and the whistle of the train conductor blew, Holmes and I stepped out onto the surprisingly busy platform. Once again, as I contemplated the ease in which a man could disappear into such a crowd, an officer standing to the side approached Sherlock and I as we walked towards the exit.

He was a tall man, as most of those in the service of the police ought to be, with blonde hair sticking out of his custodian helmet and a matching messy blonde tuft of hair on his chin. As he approached us he took his helmet off, and held it to the side.

He began, “Good evening sirs, you are Sherlock Holmes and Dr.John Watson correct?”

“Good evening, yes, that is us.” I confirmed before gesturing between Sherlock and I. “I am Dr. John Watson, and this is my companion Sherlock Holmes.”

He nodded. “My apologies for the late notice-”

Holmes cut in, “You are here to escort us to accommodation due to our train being later than expected and it is much too late for us to be going down to the jail to talk to the prisoner at this time. Do take us immediately.” He had been growing increasingly irritated during our train ride as the estimated arrival time had kept on growing later and later, perhaps it was a good thing that we couldn’t yet go to the prison.

The man blinked. “Ah- yes! Of course sir, please do follow me.” The man promptly returned his helmet to his head before turning and gesturing to us to follow him. The officer walked quickly, most likely spurred on by the harsh sounding comment from Holmes. I attempted to lighten the mood by talking to the man as we walked towards the carriage he was leading us towards.

“Apologies for my friend Holmes here, the train ride was long and full of delays, it's been a long day for us. Would you tell me your name?” I asked.

The man smiled. “Of course sir I understand, my name is Thomas Lamb, I’m a constable down at the station. Pleasure to meet you both.”

“Likewise.” I responded.

We made our way to the carriage, constable Lamb climbed up onto the coach box and took the reins of the horses. As we climbed up into the carriage, he explained that we were to be given a temporarily empty flat in Brompton as it was close enough to the dockyards as to not be too long of a journey in the morning, allowing us some time to have breakfast. The ride was short but as the evening started to grow closer to being night I found myself quite tired, the bustle of the earlier train ride wearing me down much more than I thought.

We arrived at our destination, and I leaned on my cane as we stepped out of the carriage, Holmes following close behind me. Lamb led us up to the door of a four story building and knocked on the door quietly, it was quickly unlocked and answered by a woman likely in her late fifties, a large smile on her round face.

Lamb again took his helmet from his head before quietly saying, “Good evening Ms.Hoddle, these are the two men that we spoke about earlier today, would you mind me leaving them in your care?”

“Of course of course!” She stepped aside to allow us to walk in. “Come in, it’s cold out tonight. I’ll take these two up to their room no problem.”

Lamb nodded and placed his helmet back on his head once more before bidding us goodnight. He turned and climbed back onto the carriage, hitched the horses and rode off into the darkened street of Brompton.

The interior of the entrance hall was small, only housing a small table with a candle lamp that Ms.Hoddle lifted to lead our way up the thin stairwell. Each stair creaking with every step we took, I found myself hoping that the residents here were deep sleepers.

Ms.Hoddle whispered as we walked, “You two gentlemen are up the third floor, my last tenant only moved out a few days ago you know, so you’re in luck you came when you did. Hard to find a place around here with space that isn’t a kip-house!”

“Thank you so much for the room then Ms.” I whispered back.

As we reached the door Ms.Hoddle passed me the lamp and brought up a ring of keys from her side to begin to take off one for Holmes and I. When suddenly a man I hadn’t heard come down the stairs suddenly appeared in the stairwell above us. Even under the limited light coming from the lantern I was holding, I could tell that the man was ghastly pale, he had a gaunt look to him with dark eyes and hair that managed to make him look somehow even paler.

The man seemed surprised to see our little group, almost jumping at the sight of us when really it should have been us – so suddenly and silently accompanied by this ghost of a man – that should have been startled.

Ms.Hoddle looked up towards him with another bright smile and spoke, “Good night Mr. Stoker, out to work?”

The man hesitated before returning her smile, though much more restrained.
“Yes Ms.Hoddle, thank you for the food earlier it was delicious. Have a good night.”

The man nodded at Holmes and I before turning and walking down the stairs, not a creak to be heard by the steps that we had so loudly trudged up. I thought perhaps he had been a resident here for a long time, and knew where to step to avoid the loud spots.

Ms.Hoddle had at last pried the key from the ring and handed it over to Holmes.

“I’ll see you sirs in the morning, I’ll bring breakfast up at around 9 o’clock, the station is paying for your stay here so no worries about eating in. Good night!” Ms. Hoddle explains before turning and walking back down the stairs, making the stairs creak once more.

When we entered the flat, two beds greeted us along with one small writing desk by the window, curtains drawn shut. Looking at the small room I placed the lamp Ms.Hoddle left with us on the writing desk before turning to Sherlock.

“Well Holmes, shall we get settled?” I asked.

“Yes,” Holmes said distractedly. “Let us speak in the morning Watson, I’m tired.”