Chapter Text
“Alright where’d I put that juggling book?” Fizz wondered, looking around the living room.
He had gotten a book from a recent trip to the thrift shop but had misplaced it. They had cleaned up one weekend morning and it seemed like the book had gotten put away during the shuffle. Fizz felt around a high shelf and grabbed what he could. Turns out his book was up there but in his hurry, he also grabbed an old tape. It didn’t look like one of those cartoon compilations Blitzo would rent from the video store.
“Baby Commercial?” Fizz read, looking up as Cash came in from outside. “Hey sir what’s this?”
Cash plucked the tape from Fizz’s hand, looking at the label before grinning. “Fuckin’ ey I haven’t seen this in ages!” He chuckled before hollering up the stairs. “Hey Tilla! Kids! Get over here!”
Tilla came down the stairs with the twins coming in from the back door. “What is it honey?” She wondered, curious about the excitement in her husband’s voice.
“This look familiar?” He teased, holding the tape like a prize.
Tilla felt her face burn a darker red as a sheepish smile crossed her face. Blitzo and Barbie squinted at it before shrugging. It just looked like an old home movie. Fizz was completely in the dark; why was Mr. Buckzo excited while Miss Tilla looked so embarrassed?
“Oh I thought we lost that…” she giggled shyly.
“Nope! Fizzy here found it.” Cash told her before looking down at the kids. “How about you pipsqueaks? This ring any bells?”
“Uh…no?” Barbie replied.
“What’s on the tape?” Blitzo wondered.
Tilla looked at the eager grin on Cash’s face and the confused looks on the kids before letting out a sigh of defeat. She couldn’t hide it forever. “When Blitzo and Barbie were about a year old, we got them an audition for a diaper commercial since cute twins were a big draw.” She began.
“Aww!” Fizz cooed, giving the twins a teasing smile. “I bet you were SO cute!”
“We don’t remember that!” Blitzo gasped, feeling his face heat up from embarrassment.
“Please tell me our butts weren’t exposed!” Barbie begged, mortified at the very idea.
“Only one way to find out.” Cash told them, heading over to the VCR. He popped the tape in as the rest of the family sat on the couch. Tilla was looking nervously at the TV while Fizz had a wide grin, excited to see his friends looking goofy. Blitzo and Barbie cautiously watched, hoping they wouldn’t look like total idiots. Cash sat next to his wife, the remote in his hand. “Show time!”
The tape played and at first it seemed like a fairly standard commercial. Blitzo sitting on a cloud by a package of diapers, Barbie crawling towards him, and some voice over talking about how soft they were; fairly standard stuff. Fizz was almost disappointed not seeing anything too goofy. Blitzo and Barbie were relieved to see they were just in cute onesie pajamas for the ad. No naked butts being exposed for them. Tilla watched as calmly as the memories of that day washed over her. What should’ve just been a pretty calm shoot went to crap pretty quickly.
And all because one demon pushed their buttons too far.
“Pretty interesting, eh?” Cash grinned, pausing the tape.
“I’m just glad we didn’t have to do anything stupid.” Blitzo sighed in relief.
Barbie saw the nervous expression on her mom’s face, curiosity getting the better of her. “Mama? What’s wrong?” She wondered.
“Um…Cash, honey? Can you play the rest of the tape?” Tilla requested, embarrassment overtaking her.
“Ya sure?” He asked, worried for his wife’s reputation.
“Yeah…it’s better that they see first…” she replied.
Cash nodded in understanding before hitting play. It seemed the camera man—distracted from the first few takes, caught Blitzo crawling towards the snack table where a bunch of doughnuts were placed on a plate. Even as a little impling, he had a bit of a sweet tooth.
‘Hey someone grab that kid!’
‘Blitzo! Get back here!’
The family watched as Cash on the video was trying to catch his son. The camera then turned to see baby Barbie climbing up a ladder and onto the catwalk of the studio. Tilla was looking around to see where she was but her baby girl was nowhere to be found. Cash was trying to keep Blitzo from eating doughnuts but the box fell on him, covering him in various goops and sugars. It was a mess of shouting and chaos as Cash was trying to clean Blitzo off while Tilla was trying to go rescue her baby with one of the studio hands trying to help.
A blonde lady—somehow covered in jelly from a doughnut—eventually came into frame screaming at Tilla and Cash for their little monsters ruining her shoot. Cash was about ready to scream at her but Tilla got in her face for not caring their babies were in serious danger. The blonde didn’t seem to care as she was making snide remarks about the imp family. But one comment from Tilla caused the bimbo to snap and attack her.
The kids watched in shock as Tilla wrestled with the lady all over the set while Cash watched with a gleeful grin. He always said he loved his wife for being a badass. This was the exact moment that he thought about. No one messed with her babies or husband and got away with it.
“Mama! You got in a fight?!” Barbie gasped in surprise.
“Not my proudest moment but to be fair, she started it.” Tilla blushed, glaring at the blonde on the TV getting her hair pulled as she bit the imp mom’s arm. “She was not a very good director.”
“I’ve seen your mama get mad but seeing her take on that bimbo was a riot!” Cash snickered, looking at the intense look on his son’s face. “Boy? You okay?”
“Dad…who is that?” Blitzo asked.
“Katie Killjoy. News presenter for Channel 666 news.” Cash told him. “Her little crony Tom Trench was the assistant director for that too.”
Blitzo and Barbie watched the scene play out, a wave of memories washing over them. It was vague since they were really young but they remembered Katie’s snotty voice, the smell of makeup surrounding them, sticky doughnuts falling, and lots of yelling.
“I wanna hear about that day. Can you tell me? Pretty please?” Fizz begged.
Cash and Tilla looked at each other, figuring they were old enough to hear about it. “Well let me start off with this, Fizzy-boy. If the director shows up late, that’s a damned big red flag.” Cash told him.
{FLASHBACK}
{9 years ago}
“Do ya think the kiddos are gonna be camera shy?” Cash wondered.
“Oh I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m glad we’re allowed on set.” Tilla reassured him, looking down at the twins in the stroller. “I figured a diaper commercial would be easy enough for them.”
The new parents were soon greeted by a sinner male. He had blond hair and was wearing a gas mask. Cash was confused by his choice in fashion but Tilla gave him a friendly smile.
“Hi I’m Tilla Buckzo. This is my husband Cash. We spoke over the phone?” She introduced, offering her hand to the shorter sinner.
“Nice to meet you in person. I’m Tom Trench.” Tom told her politely, shaking both their hands. “Thanks for coming. It’s hard finding baby demons that look cute.”
“Well ya won’t find babies cuter than our little goofballs.” Cash grinned proudly.
Tom looked down at the twins, checking them over. “Oh they’re adorable! Very photogenic!” He gushed, crouching down to get a closer look at them.
Blitzo was looking around at the new place while Barbie was sucking on a pacifier. They didn’t know what was going on or why they were there. But it seemed like this new guy was happy to meet them.
“Where’s the director?” Tilla wondered. “Is she coming today?” Tom stood up, coughing awkwardly. “Ah she’s in a meeting right now but she should be on her—”
*WHAM*
“Way…” Tom sighed, standing up straight as he gave them almost warning pleading look. “Whatever she says, just go along with it. She’s…”
“A bitch?” Cash guessed, seeing a blonde sinner woman knock a doughnut out of an intern’s hand as she walked past them, barely noticing as she walked in the studio with her entourage. They were talking and laughing like they were the most important demons in Hell.
“So I said to that fucker if you can’t make a decent iced coffee, get the fuck off my set!” Katie cackled, her crew laughing along with her. “And then I booted his flat ass onto the street!”
“Uh Miss Killjoy?” Tom tried, slowly walking up to her.
“Ah hi there Tim.” Katie greeted dismissively as she snatched the script from his hands. “So where’s the talent?”
“Uh…hello?”
The blonde sinner turned to see a stiff Cash and politely smiling Tilla looking at her. She barely gave them a glance before staring down at the babies. “Ugh…well twins are better to work with than single brats. Get them into makeup and cover up those hideous marks on their faces.” She decided, heading over to talk with the camera man.
Tom apologized on her behalf, saying she was always like that before a big shoot. Cash and Tilla could hardly believe that since a director should show a little kindness to the actors. As much as they wanted to tell her where to stick it, they couldn’t. They did sign an agreement to put up with it so for now they had to put up with her huffy attitude.
But they’d be keeping a close eye on her.
{…}
“Wow she was a grouch even before getting on the news?” Fizz mused.
“Being fair at least a little, show business is pretty stressful.” Tilla replied.
“Still don’t excuse her bitchy attitude.” Cash chimed in, smirking to the kids. “ I wanted to take a jelly doughnut and squirt it right into her face.”
The kids giggled at the thought of squishy and sticky jelly covering her makeup covered face. Although, with how scary she looked normally, the jelly might be an improvement. But that didn’t explain the brawl later on in the tape.
“What was filming the commercial like?” Fizz wondered, looking at Blitzo. “You remember anything?”
“Well…I remember a floating doughnut…” Blitzo recalled, letting the memory wash over him.
{…}
“Alright let’s start with the boy.” Katie told the crew, prompting them to start rushing around.
Tilla placed Blitzo on the puffy mattress—shaped to look like a cloud—giving him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. “You’ve got this baby.” She smiled, stepping out of view.
“Alright kiddo. This is really simple.” Tom told him, getting on the puffy cloud with Blitzo. “Just crawl over to the package of diapers and look over there.”
Baby Blitzo blinked before flopping back on the cloud, wiggling his feet in the air. Tilla immediately helped prop him back up, looking warily at Miss Killjoy staring down at them. Blitzo was only a baby so he couldn’t really understand directions. Even Tom crawling on the set to show him what to do wasn’t really sinking in.
“Is this kid really up for this?” Katie questioned, her patience wearing thin.
“H-He’s just nervous.” Tilla explained, trying to think of a way to make this go smoothly. She saw Cash keeping Barbie entertained by the snack table, munching on a doughnut when an idea came to her. “If you have some fishing line, I do have one idea.” She smiled.
Soon enough, Blitzo was absolutely entranced by the chocolate doughnut floating above him. It was pretty funny to see how he was so excited about it. As long as the doughnut was out of the shot, Katie didn’t care as long as she got the right shot. Tom had the doughnut on the end of a fishing pole and was gently calling Blitzo over with it, moving backwards to get him to move.
It took a little time but Blitzo slowly crawled towards the sugary treat, utterly focused on the doughnut.
“That’s it kid. Almost got it.” Tom whispered, moving around the fluffy mattress so Blitzo could look at the camera.
He was trying to reach for the doughnut but it was too high. For the little guy, not getting a treat that was being teased in front of him, he was starting to get upset. His blank face was morphing into a look of frustration for a little baby. Tom and Katie were confused—the latter being more annoyed—but Tilla had an alarmed look on her face.
“Uh you might want to give him that soon…” she warned.
“Hey we have to get some B-roll footage so shut it.” Katie retorted, waving a hand at her camera man. “Alright now zoom in on his pouty face and--.”
“WAAAAHHHH!” Baby Blitzo wailed, causing everyone in the studio to stop what they were doing.
Tilla immediately rushed to her boy’s side, comforting him as she gave Katie and Tom a stern glare. “I warned you.” She frowned, cooing at Blitzo to try and calm him down. “There there sweetie it’s okay…”
Katie facepalmed, irritated at the screeching of the little imp brat. This was going to set back their film schedule for the day. Tom, feeling slightly more sympathetic to the little guy, unhooked the doughnut and gave it to Tilla.
“Here this should help.” He offered.
“Thank you.” She smiled, taking a small piece off and feeding it to her boy. “There we go. All better.”
Blitzo chewed the sweet treat for a bit, his bad mood disappearing. He gurgled and giggled before hugging onto his mama.
“Ugh! Get him away from the set!” Katie ordered, turning towards Cash. “Hey big horns! Get the other one ready! We’re on a time crunch here!”
“Yeah yeah…” Cash grumbled, looking down at Barbie. “Promise ya won’t take shit from any demons like her, okay?”
“Bah!”
[To Be Continued]