Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

February 14, 1995. Approximate time, 9:47 PM

Hirai Momo had known Minatozaki Sana for well going into 12 years. She was the newest student in Sana’s class when they were 10 (god, Momo felt so old thinking that ‘83 was over a decade ago). Momo was shy, Sana wasn’t. Turned out, they lived on the same street, after Momo’s family moved for her father to, um…take a job opportunity in the city nearby? Or something like that. Momo’s childhood has always been a bit spotty. Sana took one look to Momo (at least, that’s how Momo jokes about it), and decided “yes, that’s the one.”

Momo can’t remember a day after that in which they didn’t see each other.

She and Sana did everything together, nearly every moment was spent laughing, hanging out, joking, talking, just everything. It felt so easy with her, it was easy to blabber to Sana when they were 17 years old about boy troubles, and it felt so easy to listen to Sana unsurely admit she may or may not enjoy kissing girls in their class a lot more than she realized.

It was easy to let Sana be herself, because with a soul that shining, its impossible not to. And maybe it had to do with how much more loving Sana’s parents felt compared to Momo’s, at some point, it really felt as if they filled the gaps her parents sort of left. They never protested, and she spent so much time at Sana’s family’s home, the guest room was basically hers. She witnessed Sana grow from the ground up, she held her hair back when she started throwing up at the parties they would sneak out to. This is how Momo felt at least, watching Sana grow from a skinny awkward tween with braces and glasses to a very intelligent, well-rounded graduate with silky brown hair and a specific gaze that made everyone fall to their knees. And yes, she still wore her glasses.

Momo would say, if you asked her, Sana was one of the two closest people she had in her life. There was just something that struck her differently about Sana compared to everyone else in her life, like they were grown from the same roots, or at least shared the same souls. But it wasn’t quite familial either, Momo couldn’t imagine admitting even half the things she did to her boyfriends to her sister. Sana wasn’t quite a sister, but she felt more than a best friend too. Some things were probably just better off unlabeled anyway.

Momo didn’t know Mina for the better part of half her life, unfortunately. But it kind of felt like she did. As if the moment Momo and Sana met her, it was like everything clicked into place and everything started to make even more sense than it used to. If Momo and Sana were two sides of the same coin, Mina certainly was the opposite side of the spectrum, but Momo loved it that way. If Sana was the sunshine in Momo’s otherwise dark childhood, Mina was exactly what she seemed—the moonlight. The refreshing comfort Momo sought out when it felt too dark to handle, when it felt like her doubts were being too loud and she needed just a bit of silence.

Momo and Mina got along in a way Momo could not explain—they shared the same morals, the same awareness and just like Sana, Mina found Momo funny. This was what made it so much easier, being able to laugh with the people in your life, at least, that’s what Momo had learned. And Mina did not have an easy childhood, something Momo could certainly relate to, the one thing Sana could not quite understand, but Momo was thankful for that. There was solace in knowing her thoughts were validated by Mina’s own. She couldn’t imagine Mina any other way than who she was, a beautiful woman with wavy black hair, a pattern of moles across her face like scattered constellations, with eyes that reminded Momo of a sad puppy. She didn’t even bat an eye when Mina had so unsurely admitted to both Sana and Momo that she was fully gay, because it was just Mina. Mina was wholly herself, something Momo liked most about her.

Momo liked that Mina was reserved, Momo was a bit cautious of others around her, too. They kept Sana in check from getting too carried away. She liked that Mina had such a unique brain, she knew so much about specific things in the same way Sana did, but their realms of interest did not intersect too much, so Momo felt as if she was always learning something new when she was with them. Hell, she even liked how both Sana and Mina got carried away while clubbing, because Sana was addictive and Mina was young, she liked knowing she knew exactly what to expect and how to help them.

The sun and the moon, Momo would say that’s who they were to her life, the two most important constructs that made her world worth constantly going around.

Would she ever tell them that to their face?

Probably not.

Momo shut the door behind her with an especially loud slam, hoping the noise was enough to make Sana and Mina stir from their sleep on the floor.

Momo’s apartment wasn’t anything special, she had scrapped together the last bits of her previous paychecks, giving a hearty down payment for a simple studio, but Momo found that Sana and Mina both loved being there more than she did.

“Momoring?” Sana sat up, rubbing her eyes sleepily, as Mina sat up beside her, eyes wide but certainly not actually aware of her surroundings.

“I told him,” Momo felt as if her voice was still gruff, slipping off her denim jacket and letting it flop to the floor without a care, “About the apprenticeship.”

“Oh?” Sana looked much more alert, blinking a few times and scrambling for her glasses.

“…Told who?” Mina questioned, eyes still not fully aware, as Sana elbowed her right in her ribs, making Mina grimace.

“Ow!” Mina whined, pouting slightly, but the jolt seemed to bring her back to reality, “Oh! Your boyfriend. Right.”

Momo had noticed Sana’s glasses on her tea table, she must have placed them there before laying down. Without another word, Momo reached down to pick them up, the zipper of her dress digging into her side slightly, but she ignored it.

Instead, Momo crawled to the ground, squeezing herself between Sana and Mina respectively, handing Sana’s glasses to her with a sigh. “Ex boyfriend.”

Sana gasped, Mina was in the middle of another yawn before her eyes widened comically large, both of their expressions struck with pure shock. “You guys broke up?!” Sana was quick to throw an arm around Momo, hugging her closely as Momo could feel the stupid swarm of emotions gathering at the center of her chest.

“He broke up with me,” Momo clarified and somehow that felt like the last bullet her ego needed before she covered her face with her hands, curling into Sana, not even caring how she looked in her now wrinkled dress and messy makeup.

“He broke up with you?!” Sana sounded astonished, “But-but why?! You guys were doing so good! Eh—well…well enough at least—”

At least, Momo thought they were doing well, too. Well enough, at least. She supposed all relationships had their difficulties, but they were manageable…for the most part. She had just finished her first apprenticeship there in Japan before applying for the South Korea Exchange Program, he was completing his degree in business finances. Momo dreamed of opening her own restaurant, they had always talked for hours on end about that achievable desire, how she would run it but he would do the business aspects of it, financing and sorting assets to keep them afloat.

“He said he can’t see us working out,” Momo could feel her throat growing tighter, “He said I’m still pursing something childish—I need a job that’s going to work out in the long run.”

“Sorry, sorry—” Mina interrupted, looking to Momo curiously, “He said you needed a stable job?”

“Yeah,” Momo pouted, “He said the chances of me actually owning a restaurant are little to none. There’s too much competition.”

“So he broke up with you…because of your life goals?” Mina seemed to be trying to process everything, “Like just because of that?”

“…He doesn’t want me to go to South Korea,” Momo admitted, staring down to how her eyeliner was now smeared onto the palms of her hands, feeling more wet tears on her cheeks, “He says the distance will be too much. He’s a guy with needs and his girlfriend being far away doesn’t resolve any of it.”

“I’m sorry—” Mina seemed to be reeling slightly, “So, he broke up with you because he doesn’t want to do long distance. Then tried to convince you to leave all your hard work behind. Then when you didn’t agree to that he took a jab at the one and only dream you’ve ever had for yourself?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Momo frowned, “Yes.”

Mina remained silent, blinking a few times in between. Momo turned to Sana with a confused expression, Sana was equally as confused as Momo was. Granted, Momo had already learned how Sana would comfort her during breakups, this wasn’t their first rodeo. Sana was caring and tender, she held Momo while Momo moped for a bit until she got herself under control. Sana was a strong believer in emotional expression, its why she always wore her heart on her sleeve. She’d comfort Momo, telling her the nicest things Momo needed to hear, and reassured Momo that things like this just have to happen, but it didn’t mean Momo was incapable of being loved.

Momo liked when Sana spoiled her like that, of course, she would never tell this to Sana’s face.

However, this was certainly Mina’s first rodeo with Momo getting broken up with. Momo had absolutely no idea how Mina was going to go about this.

“Oh, this is just ridiculous,” Mina muttered to herself, stretching her legs and cracking her neck, pinching her nose bridge for a moment, “Absolutely ridiculous.”

“What are you going on about Minari?” Sana cautiously asked, Momo and her continued to watch Mina curiously, as she blinked a few more times, trying to wake herself up.

“Get up,” She suddenly ordered, already beginning to stand up and stretch, wearing a pair of Momo’s old pajama pants and a tank. Momo and Sana just stared up to her, unsure who exactly she was talking to.

Mina looked down to them expectantly, “Did you hear me?” She repeated, “Get up. Now.”

Mina was quiet, yes. But a doormat, not quite. In fact, if not Sana who spoke first, it would be Mina, and Momo and Sana would listen to whatever Mina had to say.

So, they both scrambled up, Momo holding onto Sana to keep her balance from the exhaustion of crying, Sana keeping a hand around her waist for balance. Mina brought a hand to her face in deep contemplation, finally snapping her fingers.

“Grab your coats,” She ordered, “Where’s he live?”

Momo was very confused. “Um…the east side…?”

“That’s what?” Mina was still thinking, already grabbing her coat and shoes, “Ten minutes from here?”

“Twelve,” Sana piped up. Mina nodded thankfully, tossing Momo her keys, “Mina, what are we going to do?” She watched Mina go to the kitchen, grabbing a few random items Momo could not keep track off, eggs, sugar—were they going to bake a fucking cake?

Mina opened the door, the cold air blasting in, “Simply even the playing field.”

Momo didn’t know what that meant, it seemed as if Sana didn’t know either, but Mina was already walking out, giving them little time to scramble up their shoes and coats and following her out into the cold of the night.

The car ride was otherwise silent, Sana sitting up front with Momo as Mina sat in the back with her arms crossed, looking deep in thought. Sana turned to Momo, who made it a point to keep her eyes glued to the road, feeling Sana’s expression burning in her peripherals.

“…You’re holding back,” Sana simply pointed out, watching Momo with a knowing expression, “About all of this.”

“What?” Momo scoffed, but she could already hear the crack in her voice.

“Holding back?” Mina leaned into the conversation, “What do you mean Satang?”

“She’s not telling us everything,” Sana pointed out, explaining to Mina calmly, “I’ve helped her through breakups before. Most were amicable, one wasn’t pleasant at all. But in all of them, Momo told me everything, start to finish. Tears in her eyes and angrily ranting to let it all out. Its how we always do it, she lets it all out at once.”

“I mean I cried a lot on the ride home?” Momo admitted weakly, already accepting she would never be able to get away with holding back for the rest of her physical life.

“But there’s more,” Sana insisted, “What else did he say, Momoring?”

Momo felt Sana’s hand reach over, gently placing on her forearm, her fingers warm while Momo’s body was cold from the exposure in the windy night. She could feel Mina’s glare burning a hole through the side of her head, it made her head spin. Mina didn’t look like the protective type, but that was the wonder of still learning everything there was to know about her—Mina was still wholly undiscovered.

“It was what I said,” Momo gently explained, but could feel their eyes nearly stripping away at her, looking beneath her words, “Just…a lot meaner.”

“Meaner…” Sana repeated, “Can you tell us?”

Momo gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter, feeling her throat grow tight. She could feel Mina’s cold fingers brush against her bare shoulder, her dress was low cut and fitting. It was everything he liked, she always made sure to dress up nice for him.

“Like, yes, he certainly wasn’t happy I got accepted into the apprenticeship program,” Momo admitted, “But it wasn’t just disappointment. He got mad.”

“Mad?” Sana questioned.

“He scoffed and asked if I was going to say no,” Momo recalled from just hours ago, “…I was confused, I asked, “why would I?” He said, because its in South Korea. I told him I didn’t see how that was an issue. He said long distance wasn’t something he agreed on. I get this, I even told him I understood his stance, but this was something I dreamed of doing—he rolled his eyes and said by this point in my life, he thought I would have moved on from culinary practices. He said it was practical for a woman to learn cooking—but to pursue a career out of it was stupid. Idiotic, even. He said leaving him would only give openings for pursing other women for physical purposes—because I’m leaving him empty handed. I told him that by the looks of it, it didn’t seem like he even wanted to be with me anymore, if he was starting to already admit to wanting to cheat if we stayed together. He said he was a man with needs, and I was lucky I was so…” Momo felt herself burn in disgust, “He said I was lucky I was really good at sex because it appeared I was dead for brains if I thought we would be able to work out while I was in South Korea.”

There was only silence, along with the dull lull of her tires on the road, Momo could see how Sana’s eyes seemed to grow darker with every explanation. Which is why Momo tried to skirt around it in the first place—Sana felt everything to an extent Momo could never. She almost felt as if she was wholly muted to big emotions, while Sana was more than capable of feeling for both of them.

“Did you slap him?” Sana finally asked, voice like chalk.

“I did not,” Momo shook her head, Sana tsked in frustration, giving Momo’s arm a small squeeze.

“C’mon Momoring,” Sana said with a mixture of tenderness and annoyance, “You don’t let anyone ever speak to you that way, ever.”

“It just happened so suddenly,” Momo shook her head, “I don’t even know why, I guess I always knew he was a bit harsh with his words. But for four years, he decided to just fake it? For what reason? I was just thrown off, I guess. And then what are you supposed to do when the guy you fell in love with is suddenly being so derogatory to you? Calling you out on your insecurities, saying I’m mediocre at best in cooking, how other men probably aren’t going to find me attractive, how I’m big—”

“Oh, no way,” Mina suddenly scoffed out, “He told you that you were mediocre? The guy who’s going to graduate fifth to last in his class—calling you, mediocre?”

“The guy who doesn’t know how to iron his own clothes?” Sana added, “He’s the one who told you all this?”

“We’re here,” Momo sighed in relief, turning off her lights to ensure he couldn’t see her, keeping the truck running as she turned to look at Mina. Something about her energy made Momo’s heart race, as if she could feel the anger emitting off the younger woman, who looked outside carefully.

“Is that his car?” Mina pointed to the black car in the driveway.

“Yeah,” Momo nodded, “He lives in his parent’s spare home. They’re kind of well off.”

“So its just him then,” Mina pointed out, “Sick.”

“…What are you doing exactly, Minari?” Sana looked vaguely worried but there was a slight spark of morbid curiosity in her eyes.

“Well…how okay are you with me crossing a slight line of legality?”

Momo stared to Mina in disbelief, who stared to Sana with uncertainty. As if she was waiting for Sana’s blessing to do whatever she needed to do. Sana looked momentarily conflicted, before nodding her head.

“I think I can overlook it,” She settled on, “Given what’s going on.”

“Sick,” Mina repeated, “I’m going to put sugar in his gas tank.”

“Mina—” Momo warned, “Don’t get in trouble for me.”

“I’m not gonna get in trouble,” Mina’s voice sounded so confident yet quiet, “I never get in trouble. I’m just going to even the playing field. He wants to call you stupid? His car is stupid.”

“His face is fucking stupid,” Sana snarked, “He’s a fucking idiot.”

Sana wasn’t an avid curser, that was Momo’s thing. It was odd how comfortable Sana sounded speaking it, looking a bit annoyed. “He is,” Mina agreed, “So…I’ll be right back. Just hang in here Momo.”

“You’re just going to fuck with his car, right?” Momo hurriedly asked as Mina stepped outside.

“…Nope,” She replied and slammed the door behind her, going over to his car and opening his gas tank.

“Sana,” Momo warned, “I thought you were the voice of reason!”

“I am!” Sana protested, “But this is reasonable! He was being a dick to you—you always told me no person should ever speak to me the way I was spoken to.”

Momo shrunk back slightly.

“To hear the guy who you loved say that to you?” Sana scoffed, placing her hand over Momo’s gently, lacing their fingers together, “That’s fucking ridiculous, Momoring. Don’t even argue with it. I know for a fact if someone told me those things, you’d be beyond pissed.”

“I would…wouldn’t I?” Momo frowned in defeat, shoulders slumping, “Am I just incapable of being loved, Satang?”

“No, Momo,” Sana shook her head vigorously, keeping their hands laced, “Definitely not. I think whoever you decide is worthy of loving you, and who’s serious about it, will worship you in the way you deserve.”

“I don’t think anyone would want to worship me,” Momo admitted unsurely, “I don’t think I’m the kind of woman someone would want to fall for like that. I’m too brash, I’m blunt and I can get argumentative.”

“And all of that is you,” Sana said softly, leaning closer to wipe away some of the smudged make up from Momo’s eyes, “I can handle it. Hell, I’m not even handling it. I’m just accepting you for you, I know we argue about who gets the remote. I know we fight about who’s going to shower first even if its your apartment or my house. I love it every time. I love you, Momo. All of you, and if I can, and if Mina can go and put sugar in your ex’s gas tank, whose to say someone loving all of you is impossible?”

Momo chuckled slightly, wiping away a few more tired tears, as they looked out the window. Mina was no longer fiddling with his car, she was now at his front door, which Momo gasped at.

“What the hell is she doing?!” Sana screeched out, letting go of Momo’s hand to press against the passenger window, “How many legal lines is she intending on crossing?!”

Mina rang the doorbell, waiting a few moments before ringing it again. “Oh my god—” Momo unbuckled her seatbelt, “I need to stop her!”

“No, no!” Sana held her arm, “If he sees you, then he’s going to blame you!”

“So we just let Mina take the blame?!”

“She’s the one doing this!” Sana protested, “I’m not good at lying!”

Momo felt her chest constrict to see his face open the door, expression puzzled to see Mina standing in front of him.

Whack!

Momo and Sana both nearly screamed, seeing Mina slap an egg against his cheek with such a force, he stumbled and slid on his patio, falling to his side. Mina now stood over him, opening a small bottle of ink from Momo’s pen collection, dumping it all over his head and shirt, till he was covered in black tar.

In a swift motion, Mina whipped out a disposable camera, clicking the shutter as a bright flash blinded him for a moment. She spoke for a moment, expression unreadable as she suddenly turned around, jumping off his patio instead of taking the steps, running to the truck at full speed.

“Oh my god get the truck ready!” Sana gasped when Momo watched her ex scramble up, trying to chase after her, going down his first step only to suddenly slip and fall straight onto his ass.

Mina opened the backdoor and hopped back in. “Go,” She ordered, shutting the door as Momo took off.

“Oh my god!” Sana’s voice was shrill in disbelief, “Mina! What did you do?!”

“Put sugar in his gas tank,” Mina shrugged, rubbing her yolk-covered palm gently, “Then, I smacked an egg on his stupid face. Then, I dumped ink on him. Then, I took a picture for blackmail because there’s nothing more shameful than a guy getting outsmarted by a girl. Then I told him good luck trying to find a woman when they find out he gets off to being humiliated. And to leave Momo’s name out of his mouth. And then I ran off.”

“He could’ve caught you,” Momo scolded. Mina scoffed.

“I put sesame oil on his steps,” Mina tossed a small bottle onto Sana’s lap as she yelped. “He wasn’t going to catch me. And even if he does, then what?”

“Am I an accomplice?” Sana stuttered, unsure whether to touch the bottle, “Are we harboring a fugitive?”

“Its only a crime if we get caught,” Mina spoke calmly, “I’m not going to get caught. Trust me.”

“You’re crazy,” Sana decided on, eyes wide in shock, “Mina—you’re actually insane.”

“Yeah,” Mina agreed, “Because I don’t think Momo deserved any of that.”

“You didn’t have to do any of that for me,” Momo frowned, “I don’t want you getting in trouble.”

“I don’t care,” Mina said with such a confidence Momo had never heard from her before, “I did this for you because I wanted to. Because you absolutely did not deserve to be dragged through the mud for simply having a dream. I love that you have a dream Momoring, I love that you’re sticking with it. I love how many hours you’ve put into it, I love you. There’s no way I’ll ever let anyone disrespect either of you two. As long as I’m in your lives, I’m going to defend your name. And that’s just something about me, I guess.”

Momo figured it was borderline dangerous to be attempting to drive in the dark with her vision blurry from all her tears gathering up. So, she pulled over, letting her truck drive through some dirt before parking in a random lot.

“Momoring?” Sana questioned but Momo had already buried her face into her hands again, feeling another wave of tears fall from her face without warning. The remaining makeup burned her eyes.

“You guys are too nice to me,” Momo decided on, not even caring her voice was cracking, “I-I don’t even know what I did for you guys to care so much.”

“Oh, Momo,” Sana unbuckled her seatbelt, reaching over to pull Momo into another tight hug, smelling of her favorite strawberry shampoo and cherries and tobacco, an addictive mixture that always made Momo think about her brown hair and deep glowing eyes, “Momo we care because we want to.”

Momo felt Mina’s hand snake through the mess, taking Momo’s hand into her own. “We care because its what you deserve,” Mina added softly, “I know its hard to feel like it,” And this is why Momo respected Mina’s words, “But just because you feel it doesn’t always make it true. You feel like you don’t deserve it, but that doesn’t make it true.”

“She’s right,” Sana agreed, her words muffled from being buried somewhere in Momo’s hair, “You brain will always be your biggest enemy. But its okay, because you have mine and Mina’s brain to argue against it.”

“I’m sorry,” Momo frowned, Sana reached to wipe a very obvious tear that began falling from the side of her eye, “I can’t help it. The way I think.”

“I know,” Sana cooed sadly, “I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.”

“Its okay,” Mina added gently, “Its a lot to take in. But its okay, we’ll be here for you the whole way.”

“Though, I think he made a big mistake,” Mina added, Momo could hear the sharp annoyance in her voice. “He’ll realize he’s missing you long after you realize you’re better off without him.”

“But it was four years,” Momo huffed, “I think I have a right to feel a little upset about being dumped.”

“No one said you can’t feel sad,” Sana reassured her, “That was four years of your life! I think Minari just means that if he can’t see how much he’s giving up—”

“Then there’s better things out there for you,” Mina completed the sentiment.

“What sucks is I really did love him” Momo felt stupid, slapping a hand to her forehead, very obviously looking back to the relationship and seeing so many missed signs, “And now I’m single, and alone, and I’m gonna die alone—”

“You’re not gonna die alone—” Sana sounded appalled, sitting up slightly to look down at Momo with a firm expression, “If you die, I die. So at the very least, you’ll die with one person by your side.”

“Count me in too,” Mina added, squirming her way to Momo’s side, keeping their hands close, “If you guys die, I go too. So you can rest knowing you will at least die with your two best friends by your side.”

Momo’s eyes shimmered, her lips beginning to pout as she squeezed her eyes shut, “I can’t believe he dumped me on Valentine’s Day! Can you believe that? How fucking ridiculous is that?” Oh, she was beginning to understand Sana’s pattern recognition when she realized she couldn’t stop the words spilling from her mouth just as much as she couldn’t stop the tears, “He wasn’t even good with money either! How are you going to tell me I’m stupid when your startup company failed? As if!”

“You say it dude,” Mina encouraged, “What an idiot.”

“You know—” Momo realized she was full on unable to stop herself, “I faked it. Multiple times. Fuck! I should’ve said that to him. Actually—he wouldn’t even care!”

“I do remember you talking about this,” Sana chuckled shyly, rubbing the back of her neck lost in thought, “—He really didn’t seem to care.”

“Man I’m a fucking idiot,” Momo rubbed her temples, “He was stupid. I am stupid—He was selfish. He only wanted me for my body—”

“Momoring, its completely understandable you’d be upset,” Sana said softly, “You have every right to be mad. But you can’t let it destroy you, you’re moving to South Korea! We’re going to move into our new apartment soon, everything is going so well, whether you stayed with him or not wouldn’t have changed the face that you’re doing so well for yourself. With or without him, you’re doing so good.”

“You’re right,” Momo groaned, but still, a few tears slid down the sides of her face. Mina quietly reached out, wiping away the tear she could with her thumb, “But it just sucks. I really thought he’d stick with me.”

“Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” Sana suggested, “You deserve much more Momoring.”

“Yeah you do,” Mina agreed. “So much more.”

“Like someone who will make you orgasm properly,” Sana said so bluntly, Momo couldn’t help but laugh, unsure exactly if it was overwhelming emotion or if Sana was actually being funny, but it didn’t really matter to her right now.

“And someone who can take being slapped by an egg,” Mina added, “Like really? It was an egg.”

Chapter Text

March 1, 1995. Approximate time, 8:48 PM

“Im Nayeon is a gay woman.”

Momo and Mina exchanged looks with one another, laying on the bed together as they heard Sana triumphantly march into their hotel room, which they were going to be staying at for a few more days until they would be able to move into their new apartment.

“And whatever happened to hi everyone I’m home?” Mina mumbled but sat up regardless, holding a pillow to her chest as if it was a stuffed toy, “What are you going on about, Satang?”

“My internet friend!” Sana announced, “The one who put in a good word for me to the Psychology Department Head?”

“That Nayeon?” Momo remained laying down, looking a bit sleepy as Mina tried to hold in her laugh, Momo’s bangs sticking up in odd places.

“Yes Momoring, the only Nayeon I know,” Sana clarified, “I met her in person a few days ago! I would’ve told you as soon as we got into the car but you guys seemed to be in a very heated debate about what condiments are socially acceptable to use in specific situations, so I wanted to wait. But well, then I kind of forgot about it. Then a few days went by, and I would remember every once in a while but it didn’t seem like the right time to talk about it. Then when I went downstairs right now to get more ice, I saw a lady with a really short haircut and I thought ‘hm I wonder if she’s gay,’ because, you know, then I remembered. So yes, Nayeon is gay. I helped set up her space in the office we’re going to be sharing.”

“Oh?” Mina questioned, watching Sana make her way to the bed, flopping down and sitting crisscross, grabbing Momo’s hand to hold. Momo made no move to pull away. “You think she’s gay?”

“I don’t think it,” Sana shook her head, “I know it.”

“That’s a bold claim,” Mina pointed out, seeing how Momo’s free hand was just kind of…laying out, palm up, fingers curled the slightest bit nearby her. Mina had a moment of thought that Momo was intentionally holding her hand out for Mina to hold. Then there was a second of more thinking—maybe she was looking a little too into it.

“Hear me out,” Sana pleaded, fiddling with Momo’s fingers as Momo’s attention turned to her, Mina watched them work like one functional machine, “She waltzes in—beautiful woman, by the way.”

“You think all women are beautiful,” Mina pointed out.

“So do you?” Momo turned to her with a perplexed expression, “Aren’t you the lesbian one here?”

Mina burned at Momo’s comment, because, yes, it was true. Mina was gay, the full on lesbian here. It had only been about two years since she came out verbally, but Sana was much more knowledgeable in those spheres of learning given Sana would learn just about anything she wanted to if she could. Bisexuality was a part of Sana’s identity, just in the way being lesbian was a part of Mina’s, so Sana had consumed as much as she could about this.

“So she comes in, very beautiful, very confident. We hug, she initiates it, she smells vaguely like tobacco and vanilla—”

“Both pretty common smells,” Mina nodded.

“—And lavender.” Sana’s eyes widened for emphasis.

“Lavender…” Momo seemed to be processing, “Is also a very used scent.”

“But its gay!” Sana protested.

“Since when have lavenders been gay?” Momo questioned, looking to Mina for confirmation.

“Well…” Mina blushed at Momo’s genuine curiosity, ironically always feeling a bit strange when all the attention was on her, “They’ve been gay for a very long time. Well into the 60s—”

“Starting from the 50s!” Sana added in, “Lavender has always been associated with gay culture. She smelled of lavender, and maybe it wasn’t intentional, maybe she just likes lavender, but maybe…maybe it was intentional.”

“What are the chances of someone’s actions being that intentional, though?” Mina questioned, eyeing down to Momo’s free hand again, her fingers a bit more outstretched than the last time Mina had glanced. She flicked her gaze back up to Momo for a moment, who was now staring directly back to her with a slightly hurt expression. Mina then realized she wasn’t overthinking it—Momo did want her to hold her hand. Sana was very loud about her affection, Mina would never be the one to bring it up. Momo was somewhere in the middle, never outright saying it, but mostly just waiting with longing glances and pouts.

Mina reached and held Momo’s hand, which immediately made Momo’s eyes brighten at the action. Mina smiled back, Momo turned her attention back to Sana much more satisfied.

“Depends…” Sana was too distracted in her own thoughts, “Because she also made it a point to ask about me too. Of course, I wanted to imply that I had a feeling about her—without pushing it too much. So, when she asked me about my favorite color, I said violet. Because…well, it is. When she asked about my favorite flowers, I said lilies, because…well, they are my favorites. She even knew the artist I mentioned about my favorite painting of lilies! Isn’t that so attractive?”

“Okay, I remember lilies are gay,” Momo nodded understandingly, “Because they’re your favorite flowers so I just assume anything you like is gay.”

“And you’re absolutely right,” Sana confirmed proudly, “They are my favorite flowers and very gay. Of course, I liked them before I knew that, but I feel like after I learned it, it only made me love them more. And well also…lily…yuri…” Sana gestured to herself knowingly, “Japanese? I’m sure she figured it out.”

“Also, also, also!” For whatever energy Mina lacked, Sana always made up for it. She never minded it, of course, she liked that Sana could carry the conversation when she felt like she would just drag it down. She also liked seeing Sana chatter, her eyes always brightening when she remembered even more to the puzzle, gesturing wildly, “She had a slip-up! With her words! She said her friend has a broken ankle…but she almost said another word! It started with a p—I have no other choice but to assume she was going to say partner.”

“Very ambiguous,” Mina couldn’t help but smile to Sana’s infectious energy, “Partner is a very specific word choice.”

“Exactly!” Sana nodded furiously, “I can’t think of any other word she would choose to use. Maybe like…pal? But that seems kind of redundant to accidentally say pal just to correct yourself to say friend, they’re synonymous to one another. Therefore, she had to have been wanting to use another word—”

“You’re rambling,” Mina patted Sana’s shoulder gently, “I can see why you might think she could be gay. But let’s not get your hopes up about this, she could not be gay at the end of the day—”

“Or maybe she is gay,” Momo shrugged, “Whatever she is, it doesn’t change the fact you can’t just be asking people you just met if they’re gay.”

Sana pouted at Momo’s statement, lips protruding slightly in protest, “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” Momo argued, “I know that because when we were in high school, you told me never to assume anyone’s sexuality because you could unintentionally be putting them at risk.”

“Ugh,” Sana flopped onto the bed, still holding Momo’s hand, leaning into Momo’s shoulder, “I hate that you listen to me.”

“I hate it too,” Momo agreed, “Yet here I am.”

Mina giggled at their bickering, simply sitting beside them with her hand in Momo’s, it felt almost natural to watch them in her own little sphere, her own bubble within a bubble.

“…She was really hot,” Sana added in, “Like in a sexy, academic kind of way.”

“Well now I need to see her,” Mina felt her curiosity growing, “What do you mean sexy academic?”

“Like, thin framed glasses and kind of messy hair, like she definitely brushes it but its not the most important thing to her at the moment. She had kind of dark bags, maybe from nights of staying up later than she was supposed to, too caught up in her reading. She looked like she had a good head on her shoulders and could really take care of you, She was wearing a very clean simple style, her hands were kind of big for her size, and her voice was deep—”

“You’re blushing,” Momo deadpanned, looking between Sana and Mina with slight annoyance, “You are too Mina—god you guys need to get laid.”

“I’ve been trying to,” Sana protested, “Last trip we took to the clubs in Japan last week was a bust—But with moving and getting everything set up, sex is definitely not the first thing on my mind.”

“I don’t know any other gay women,” Mina deflated, “Maybe we can see if there is even a gay culture somewhere hidden in the city.”

“Well if Nayeon is gay as I’m saying—and I’m absolutely right—maybe she’d be able to show us around the gay scene here in the city. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that my predictions are true and she is gay, and if that’s the truth then there’s absolutely no way she’s single. Because she wanted to say partner but also because she’s just so charming—”

“You’re both hopeless,” Momo groaned, “and now I have to sit and listen to you guys complain about not getting with any women. Well, I guess it works out because now you guys have to listen to me cry about being—”

“Hey, let’s not get sad right now,” Sana shook her head, “You’ve been doing so well!”

“Let’s not dwell on your crappy ex,” Mina encouraged, “And instead let’s focus on how we’re going to be moving in soon.”

“Yeah!” Sana agreed eagerly, “I heard there’s a laundromat attached downstairs—that makes that whole situations so much easier to deal with.”

“We’re going to need to get groceries too,” Momo mumbled, “I need to make a list.”

“Yes see?” Sana nodded, “You love grocery shopping! Happy thoughts!”

March 1st, 1995. Approximate time, 9:29 PM

Nayeon was not expecting Minatozaki Sana to look like that. Nayeon knew a pretty woman when she saw one. Its not in ill-taste to admit someone’s beauty—she had no shame complimenting where a compliment was deserved.

She doesn’t even think she was actually putting thought into it, though. Nayeon had just grown familiar with a name on a screen who used kaomoji in the same way Sakura did in her every day notes. She wasn’t expecting such a beautiful woman to be attached to the name. Sana had a sharp nose, it was one of the first features Nayeon’s eyes were drawn to. She had round brown eyes, they looked nearly cartoonish, sparkling with a voracious curiosity, like she wanted to understand just how everything in the world functioned down to the molecule. She had dark brown hair, a layered style that allowed a few strands to frame her face, a pencil holding her hair in a low bun. She wore colorful barrettes to keep her bangs out of her face and maybe even just for the fashion of it. She had a pair of silver rimmed round framed glasses that slid down her nose. She wore a blue and white pinstriped button up, the shirt sleeves so oversized even when she rolled them up, they nearly reached her wrists. She wore a pair of dark jeans, a pair of Converse—she looked so entirely like a young college student, it had nearly blown Nayeon’s mind.

It was starting to get dark in the apartment, Jihyo had begun to doze off on the play mat, Taehyun laying by her side, already fast asleep. Yunjin was now in Jeongyeon’s arms, as they laid on the recliner together. Nayeon had already changed from her university clothing, laying on the couch as she flipped through the channels.

“I met someone a few days ago,” Nayeon said quietly, waiting to see if either were going to engage in her conversation.

“Who?” Jeongyeon was first to answer, while Jihyo took a deep breath, slowly opening her eyes as if to try to force herself to stay awake. She studied Jihyo’s features carefully, only the television giving some form of light.

Jihyo still looked 16 to Nayeon, even though she was well aware her birthday was a month ago, her hair clipped up and shaved at the bottom, a consistent style she had kept throughout the months, looking just a tad more exhausted.

She supposed that came with the workload, Jihyo was a dedicated mother, if that was a title worth giving to anyone, spending sleepless days and nights with her kids, always ensuring they were properly bathed, clothed, changed, fed, and rested. Though, in hindsight, that was just how a mother should be, it was just utterly depressing how deprived most people were.

“Remember that Japanese pen-pal I had?” Nayeon sat up slightly, now ignoring whatever was playing on the television to face Jeongyeon, who craned her neck to watch Nayeon.

“Vaguely,” Jeongyeon replied, “The whole nearly dying thing kind of interrupted it.” Nayeon frowned, Jihyo let out a small chuckle signaling she was waking up more, still unmoving from her position. She felt Jihyo tug at her leg.

“That’s not funny,” Nayeon snipped and slid down to the mat, bringing the blanket with her, letting Jihyo rest her head on Nayeon’s lap, arm still carefully around Taehyun, so he was nestled between them.

“My bad,” Jeongyeon did not sound the least bit guilty, “But please, continue.”

“Her name is Sana,” Nayeon explained, “Sakura got us in contact.”

“Oh!” Jeongyeon snapped her fingers, before her eyes widened to stare back down at Yunjin, who only stared back up at her tiredly, pacifier in her mouth. “…I remember,” Jeongyeon kept her voice low, “The psychology student, right? Super smart?”

“Yes, her,” Nayeon nodded, “I met her a few days ago. It turns out, we’re going to share the same office space.”

“Is that good?” Jihyo questioned, “I mean, was it good to meet her?”

“I think so,” Nayeon shrugged, “She seemed very intelligent. We talked about the university for a bit before going to talk about our interests in art.”

“So, she’s a nerd too?” Jihyo looked to Nayeon, “You guys are gonna get along just fine.”

Nayeon mused for a moment. “…I think she likes women.”

Jihyo snorted, Jeongyeon sat up slightly, “Slow down there Nayeon,” She shook her head, “As kickin’ as it’d be for you to meet another gay graduate, maybe you shouldn’t try to assume someone’s sexuality.”

“I’m not assuming anything,” Nayeon clarified, “She was practically screaming it to my face.”

“So, she legitimately went up to you, looked at you in the eyes, and straight up said ‘hey, I’m gay’?” Jihyo looked to Nayeon was pure disbelief, “As sick as that’d be for you, I doubt that actually happened.”

“Okay well not that blunt,” Nayeon shook her head, “But clear enough for me to catch on to.”

“I don’t think—”

“No, no,” Jeongyeon cut Jihyo off, “I want to hear what she’s going to say.”

“She said she loves the color violet,” Nayeon pointed out, “Violet.”

“Okay and one of your favorite colors is lavender?” Jihyo stared to her incredulously, “What do shades of purple have anything to do with being gay?”

“Only nearly everything,” Nayeon explained, “Oh damn…I really need to teach you this stuff.”

“Sorry, I’m a little behind,” Jihyo motioned to Taehyun sleeping beside her, “I got caught up with other things.” Her tone was sarcastic, Nayeon rolled her eyes while Jeongyeon only shook her head.

“Okay, so she likes violets,” Jeongyeon said, “And I know why you love lavender but that’s not exactly solid evidence, you feel?”

“I know she saw the book of Sappho’s poetry I had in one of my boxes,” Nayeon recalled, how curious Sana’s eyes shined, “She even knew about my labrys necklace. She pointed it out, not me, mind you.”

“Labrys?” Jihyo stared up to Nayeon, “You mean that axe necklace you like to wear?”

“I got it in Itaewon back in the late 80s,” Nayeon could remember the day so clearly, “From a foreigner, who was handing out jewelry she made during pride that year.”

“What’s it mean?” Jihyo was now fully attentive.

“Labrys is the double sided axe that lesbians kind of essentially claimed as symbolism,” Nayeon explained, “Back in the 70s. It was also used a lot during the early feminists movements.”

“What a time,” Jeongyeon gave a low whistle, “Feels like it just happened yesterday. I also have a labrys, Jihyo. But mine’s on my keychain.”

“Oh,” Jihyo replied, “I really need to pay attention more.”

“I mean, you’re kind of caught up with other things,” Nayeon joked, motioning to sleeping Taehyun again, “No one can blame you. Besides, its not like many people know gay culture like that anyway.”

“Yeah but its a part of who you guys are,” Jihyo protested, “I think the least I can do is know who you guys are as people.”

“Well we can start off with the labrys,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “Now you know what it is and what it means.”

“And violets,” Nayeon added, “They were referenced in Sappho’s writing, her poems have been associated with women loving since the early Greek literature. So centuries upon centuries. And sure, people debunk it, but what’s claimed is claimed.”

“So she knew about your labrys,” Jeongyeon recounted, “But she could simply be a feminist, you know, given its the 90s. She said her favorite color was violet and you could tell she recognized a Sappho book in your collection.”

“Yes.”

“Not sure that exactly screams gay, babe,” Jeongyeon frowned.

“Well, hear me out,” Nayeon protested, “She said her favorite flowers were lilies. White lilies, specifically.”

“They’re a pretty flower,” Jihyo pointed out.

“But don’t you get it?” Nayeon pleaded, “Lily…yuri…Japanese…”

“I want to believe you,” Jeongyeon sighed, “Hell, I love a good gay woman just as much as you. But like…chillax with this babe.”

“She was literally basically screaming it to my face,” Nayeon shook her head, “You guys don’t get it. Its an academic thing—”

“A nerd thing,” Jihyo corrected her, “You’ve learned how to pick up on nerd signs.”

“When have I ever been wrong?” Nayeon scoffed, “Besides, none of this wouldn’t have come up if I hadn’t mentioned my favorite color was lavender. It was like as soon as I mentioned that, she started going off about all these allusions. She even wanted to clarify if I was religious or not.”

“…You always smell like lavender,” Jihyo suddenly perked up, as if happy to finally have something to bring to the conversation, “But I don’t know if scent has anything to do with this.”

“I smell like lavender by choice,” Nayeon pointed out, “Of everything I could pick—I choose lavender.”

“How come?” Jihyo asked.

“Well, truly I just like the smell,” Nayeon blushed, “But when I was younger, and Yoongi-oppa and I came out to each other—there was a small time where we considered marrying each other.”

“Whoa—” Jihyo reeled, “Marry a gay guy? I remember the whole trying to date part. But marrying? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose of coming out to each other? If you just want to marry each other…I’m confused, I don’t know if I made that clear.”

Jeongyeon chuckled, brushing her hair from her face as she adjusted Yunjin to sit on her lap, “She’s talking about a lavender marriage—” Jeongyeon explained, “Before she met me, mind you. Its a marriage gay men and gay women would do—marry each other to avoid suspicion.”

“Oh,” Jihyo simply responded, “Not in a bad way but I’m kind of relieved you didn’t marry Yoongi-oppa, he’s cool and all but then you wouldn’t live with Jeongyeon and everything would have been weird.”

“You’re damn right about that,” Jeongyeon agreed, “Thank god he talked you out of it.”

“But lavender is so deeply engraved in gay culture,” Nayeon explained, “How could I not love the very symbolisms of what make me who I am as a woman? A gay woman, specifically. And I’m very aware of the connotations associated with these things like a second language—”

“You second language is Japanese,” Jihyo deadpanned.

“Whatever,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, no malice as Jihyo grinned to her, obviously just being playful, “Point is—she’s gay. Or at least likes women, in some way, shape, form, etcetera— and I know this because all of these things were painfully obvious.”

“And while I think you’re never wrong,” Jeongyeon made it a point to reach over, placing her hand to Nayeon’s shoulder affectionately, “I think you should maybe be careful about questioning that to a fellow colleague of yours.”

“I know, I know,” Nayeon nodded, “But I’m right—believe me.”

Chapter Text

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 7:34 AM

Momo knew that a fully stocked fridge was the least of their worries. But, Sana and Mina had no problem with letting her grab necessities, it would make moving in a lot more fun for her if their fridge didn’t look like a sad empty shell.

That’s why Momo dragged herself awake at 7 AM, away from the warm bed they ended up all sharing. Away from Sana’s breath down her neck and Mina’s hair tickling her nose, away from comfort to go to the grocery store nearby, at least to familiarize herself with it.

The stores were pretty empty, given school wasn’t running at the moment and lots of children were allowed to sleep in while their families went off to work. Momo grabbed a cart, looking through her list of supplies that would be easiest to make and quickest to use to make food that would last. Stews, soups, marinades—

Momo stopped to hear the low whirring of a motorized cart coming up behind her. By pure instinct, Momo stepped off to the side, waiting for the shopper to pass. She noticed the woman wearing an ankle boot, meaning she probably had broken something—either her foot or ankle. Momo wouldn’t be able to know off the bat.

“Thank you,” The woman’s voice was oddly familiar, enough so that Momo froze for a moment, something striking inside her chest.

“Of course,” Momo simply nodded, only able to see a mess of brown hair, watching the woman steer off, down the aisle.

Momo shook her head, trying to wake herself up a bit more. Maybe she should have decided to grab a coffee instead of coming straight here, it was obvious she might still be half asleep. She decided to just focus on grabbing her items, pulling her basket and searching around.

It would be another seven minutes that went by before Momo saw the woman again, idling searching through the dairy, looking a bit conflicted as the item she needed was higher up than expected. Momo felt her feet rush over before she could stop herself.

“…Did you need help?” Momo came up to ask, watching the woman flinch slightly at the suddenness of it.

She chuckled slightly, looking a bit defeated but accepting her state, pointing up to a specific package of banana milk. “My kid loves these,” She chuckled out, her voice was so tonal and melodic, Momo shivered at the sound. It was also so incredibly familiar, Momo couldn’t pin it, and it was beginning to agitate her, “Her friend does too. They go through these packs quicker than water.”

“Kid?” Momo grinned in confusion, grabbing a package and handing it to her, as she took a look at her face, “You honestly don’t look a day over 23.”

She was beautiful—Momo thought she could be something like a model. With tanned skin and silky brown hair, and a sharp chin. She was wearing sweatpants, one leg rolled up so the boot could be strapped comfortably to her ankle. She was also wearing a black leather jacket and a brown knitted turtleneck—which made sense, considering it was freezing outside still, even with the sun out. The feature that stuck out most though, were her eyes. Sharp, pointed eyes and a small white scar running along the bridge of her nose to the corner of her left inner eye.

“I would hope so,” She cackled gleefully, smile running even wider, “I am just 26.”

“Oh?” Momo shook her head again, “How old is your kid?”

“Eh,” She shrugged, “She’s not actually my kid. But damn she sure feels like it, she’s just turned 17 actually, a few weeks ago.”

“Wow,” Momo furrowed her eyebrows, “17? How’d you end up under the guardianship of a 17 year old?”

“I wish I could tell you,” She trailed off, already looking through the aisles again, “Hey, do you think you could just like…stick around a bit longer?”

“Need the extra length?” Momo joked, grabbing her basket, “As long as you’re okay with me doing my own shopping, too.”

“Ah, do what you need to do,” She waved, “Truly, if I wasn’t stuck in this boot, I’m pretty sure I’d be taller than you.”

Momo chuckled, liking this woman’s energy, and decided it wouldn’t be the worst decision to follow along with her as they browsed the aisles.

“…You’re not from here, huh?” She spoke up again, “You don’t look very Korean.”

“Because I’m from Japan,” Momo confirmed, “I’m just about to move in to an apartment nearby.”

“What’s a Japanese woman like you doing here in the city?” She curiously looked to Momo, “Love?”

Momo snorted, she had a feeling the woman was full of jokes, “No,” She shook her head, “I actually am going to start my second apprenticeship here in a few weeks. I’m I guess…sort of like a chef. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be called that yet, but there’s a higher end Japanese restaurant here that took me in, and just getting more experience under my belt does wonders.”

She gave a low whistle, full of astonishment, “So you’re going to be a chef, huh?”

“I want to open my own restaurant one day,” Momo grinned, “Apprenticeships just help me understand the industry better. Its not my first one, I had just completed another back in Japan last year.”

“Oh, that’s what I love to see,” She complimented, “An ambitious woman. We need more people like you.”

“Believe me,” Momo shook her head, “I’m not even the most ambitious person I know.”

“Well hey, if you ever do decide to look into opening your own place, I do know a few farms out in the rural areas that are more than happy to strike up deals with local businesses.”

“Seriously?” Momo breathed out, “How’d you manage that?”

“Networking,” She shrugged, looking up and pointing, “Grab me that one will you?”

Momo reached for the melon, giving it a slight squeeze.

“This one isn’t ready,” Momo pointed out, placing it back, “You want to get the one whose skin is cream colored, its closer to ripeness. Also, despite their compact sizes, you want a heavier one, it means its full of sweetness.” She looked at the options, picking out another one before handing it to the stranger, “Here, take this one instead.”

“Okay chef,” She joked, feeling the weight of the melon in her hands, “I’ll take your word for it.”

“What do you do?” Momo asked.

“Odd jobs,” She shrugged, “I usually help with electrical or plumbing issues to people around my area—they pay me well enough because they’re just happy someone can do the job. I can also do basic remodels if they really need it. I also help run a laundromat.”

“Damn,” Momo reeled, “You do a lot. Like…a lot.”

“Nah,” She shook her head, “I do what I want though, I will say that. How old are you?”

“22,” Momo replied.

“Still pretty young,” She seemed in deep thought, “What’s your name?”

“Oh,” Momo brought her hand out as an offer, “Hirai Momo. Its very nice to meet you…”

“Jeongyeon,” She closed the gap, shaking Momo’s hand firmly, just as Momo felt her blood run ice cold, feeling how calloused and scarred her hand was, “Yoo Jeongyeon.”

“Jeongyeon…” Momo repeated, images and thoughts crashing back down onto the forefront of her mind. Images of a flying body, lots of debris and even smoky flames. A beaten, bloody, bruised body scraped and covered in motor oil. The way Momo’s hands were caked with another woman’s blood—how panicked her eyes looked through her helmet. The broken ankle, the bleeding knuckles, the cut face.

“You good there?” Jeongyeon questioned, reaching with her other hand to hold Momo steady by her elbow, “You’re looking kind of pale.”

“…Tell me Jeongyeon,” Momo looked to her with as much seriousness as she could muster, “Was your accident about five months ago? Back in ‘94?”

Jeongyeon’s eyes seemed confused, more alert, studying Momo carefully before responding, “Yeah…? What about it?”

“You had a black and red Suzuki,” Momo recalled, this time it looked like Jeongyeon’s skin was losing its color, “A beautiful bike, by the way. Riding down the bridge back into the city—”

“…How do you know this?” Jeongyeon asked stiffly, still holding Momo’s hand tight. She had quite the grip strength, Momo couldn’t help but think about, feeing the way her calloused palms made Momo’s fingers ache.

“September 30th, 1994,” Momo recalled the exact date, “Because I was coming back to the mainland, and I saw a body fly across the bridge. And I saw a guy screaming out your name, and I heard you yelling.”

Jeongyeon was staring to Momo in pure shock, Momo couldn’t get herself to stop talking.

“And you were bleeding, badly,” Momo emphasized, “And we needed to get you to a hospital, so I offered my truck.”

“It was you,” Jeongyeon squeezed her hand tightly, looking up to Momo with her eyes beginning to water up, “It was you! You’re the woman with the gray truck!”

“I am,” Momo nodded vigorously, leaning down to be more eye level to Jeongyeon, “It was me! And its you—”

“You saved me,” Jeongyeon reached and pulling Momo into a tight hug, a bit awkward at the angle but Momo wasn’t going to complain about something as trivial as that, “You actually saved my life that day.”

Momo hugged her back, her sharp nose detecting a slight hint of tobacco, stuck in the follicles of her hair. She smelled like fresh linen and eucalyptus. “Holy shit,” Jeongyeon breathed out, pulling away and looking up to Momo with those same familiar eyes—the same ones Momo recalled looking so panicked.

“So that’s why we could never find you,” Jeongyeon chuckled out, reaching over and taking Momo’s face into her hands. “You aren’t from here.” Usually, Momo wouldn’t be one to allow someone to so openly be affectionate with her (aside from Sana and Mina, but that was a given), but she figured she could make an exception given the circumstance.

“I’m not,” Momo confirmed, reaching up and placing her palm over Jeongyeon’s hand. She was warm, incredibly so, warm-blooded and alive, “Oh my god, I’m so relieved to know you’re alive—”

“I survived with almost nothing long lasting,” Jeongyeon said proudly, “Couple of broken bones sure, but all my limbs intact, which is the real damn miracle about all of that.”

“It is a miracle,” Momo agreed, feeling the pressure in her chest loosen, “I’m so happy you’re okay. I left that hospital that day with nothing else to know. You’ve been on my mind for months.”

“Maybe that’s why my ears always burned,” Jeongyeon joked, blinking a bit more furiously and Momo wondered if she was also trying to keep from crying in the middle of a random aisle at the grocery store like she was. “We tried so hard to find you, but everything was a dead end. I-I thought I’d never be able to see you again.”

“Life works funny, huh?” Momo chuckled, feeling Jeongyeon pull away, running a hand through her bangs, “What are the chances we’d run into each other here, when you needed it most.”

“Hey…” Jeongyeon chuckled out quietly, looking up to Momo with a firm expression, “I owe you big time, got it?”

“Please,” Momo insisted, “You don’t owe me anything, I swear on it.”

“That crash could’ve gone so much worse,” Jeongyeon protested, “But your truck and quick thinking got me the help I needed—the least I can do is buy you a drink or two. Or ten. I think my life is worth about that much in alcohol volume.”

Momo laughed, placing her hand on Jeongyeon’s shoulder, “If it makes you feel better, then okay,” Momo agreed, “But I’ll warn you—I’m a heavy drinker.”

Jeongyeon scoffed, “Please. No one can outdrink the original,” She motioned to herself, “If you can actually outdrink me, I’ll pay your tab every time we go out.”

“So its going to be a frequent thing?” Momo chuckled.

“I mean, I think the woman who saved my life deserves a couple of rounds,” Jeongyeon pointed out, “If you’re willing, of course?”

“I’d love to hang out,” Momo smiled, “I think it would do me good to get to know the city more—though I do have two friends who I never let leave my side.”

“The more the merrier,” Jeongyeon grinned, taking out a slip of paper from her purse and a pen, scribbling on it for a moment before tearing the paper and handing it to Momo, “I’ve got a best friend who sticks by me too, if that’s okay with you?”

Momo took the paper, seeing a number written along with Jeongyeon’s name, “And your kid?”

“She’s chill,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “Kind of focused on her own life. But hey, she needs the interaction. Her closest friend is a 14 year old teenage boy.”

Momo laughed, “How did that even happen?”

Jeongyeon grinned, shaking her head slightly, “I wish I knew what to tell you,” She chuckled, “But that’s the thing, right? Tis life. It just kind of does that to you.”

“Its a damn small world, too,” Momo agreed, checking a few more items off her list, “Who would’ve thought I would have seen you again?”

“Grab that gochujang, would you?” Jeongyeon asked, pointing to the packaging above her reach. Momo complied, handing the pack to her and grinning, “And who would have thought you’d end up helping me, again?”

“Guess maybe I will take you up on that offer to pay more than one tab,” Momo joked, Jeongyeon gave her a knowing grin.

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 8:01 PM

“What’s with all the noise by the way? I swear I've heard nonstop stomping since like 3.” Jeongyeon questioned from the bedroom, Nayeon was sweeping the floor, listening to the sudden influx of thumps, heavy footsteps, and murmured voices.

“I’m guessing someone is finally moving into the two bed,” Nayeon pointed out, “That shit’s been empty since you and I moved in.”

“So were getting neighbors, huh?” Jeongyeon was back on her crutches, hair still damp from their completed shower, Nayeon’s own hair air drying.

“Seems so,” Nayeon nodded, “Should we go introduce ourselves?”

“We’re gonna have to,” Jeongyeon made her way to the couch, “We’re going to have to give a good enough story and also we’re going to have to mention…you know…”

“The three kids and occasional fourth?” Nayeon snorted, “Yeah I’m sure they’ll love that.”

“Whether they love it or not, we’ve lived here longer and we run the laundromat,” Jeongyeon reasoned, “So either they suck it up, or move out. Simple as that.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Nayeon rolled her eyes.

“Because it is,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “Should we go right now?”

“Let me make myself look presentable,” Nayeon motioned to her legs, “I haven’t even put pants on.”

“Damn,” Jeongyeon very blatantly let her eyes roam down Nayeon’s legs, an action that made her blush a deep red, one she could feel burning her neck, “Look at you—”

“Shush,” Nayeon shook her head, feeling shy while Jeongyeon only whistled, “You’re terrible.”

“Terribly good at flirting,” Jeongyeon took Nayeon’s hand as she tried to walk by, tugging her to come closer, until Nayeon caved, letting herself straddle her lap.

“You’re extra affectionate,” Nayeon pointed out, resting her arms over Jeongyeon’s shoulders to steady herself, feeling Jeongyeon’s warm hands wrap around her waist, beneath her t-shirt, to keep Nayeon steady, “What’s with you?”

“I’m just feeling good,” Jeongyeon looked up to her with her gleaming eyes, while Nayeon only cupped Jeongyeon’s face, planting a kiss right to her lips, “Really good. Guess who I saw today at the grocery store?”

Nayeon hummed, feeling Jeongyeon’s palms rub her back, trying to think, “I can’t guess,” She shook her head, “We see everyone all the time. Jackson was literally over last night, so definitely not him.”

Jeongyeon continued to look up to her, “…Remember back right after my accident, we tried to reach out to the person who drove me to the hospital as a thank you?”

“Yes?” Nayeon nodded, “I remember because it was a dead end.”

“Well…” Jeongyeon shrugged, “Turns out it was because she wasn’t in the country.”

“Wait,” Nayeon looked to Jeongyeon’s gleaming eyes, “You met her?”

“I did,” Jeongyeon confirmed, “At the grocery store. Of all place, am I right?”

“Oh my god,” Nayeon gasped, “I-I can’t believe—”

“She remembered my name,” Jeongyeon explained, “She remembered the bike. She remembered the day. Turns out, she’s Japanese. Her name is Momo. She helped me get stuff off the high shelves this morning. She’s here for some apprenticeship program.”

“A chef?” Nayeon was pleasantly surprised, “That’s sick as hell.”

“She was chill,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “I told her I’d buy her tab—we made plans to hang out, eventually.”

“Does she know about…?” Nayeon motioned between them.

“Well she knows I have a best friend,” Jeongyeon squeezed Nayeon’s back reassuringly, “I’d never out you like that. Never out us like that.”

“I know,” Nayeon sighed, relaxing under Jeongyeon’s touch, “I just need to make sure. You know how it is.”

“I wonder if I’d be able to trust her with that,” Jeongyeon mumbled more to herself, hands distractedly running up and down Nayeon’s back, till her shirt started to ride up, “I’d like to, you know?”

“I know its been a bit hard to make friends lately,” Nayeon frowned, “I’m glad we have who we have, but it’d be nice to try to expand out. Especially now that Jihyo has her twins—”

“You should totally take off your shirt,” Jeongyeon absentmindedly mentioned, already beginning to raise the shirt above Nayeon’s head. Nayeon snorted, letting her girlfriend slide the oversized shirt off her back, tossing it off to the side.

“I thought the whole point was for me to put more clothes on—” Nayeon didn’t even bat an eye, letting Jeongyeon run her palms over her bare skin, shivering beneath the contact, watching as Jeongyeon’s eyes searched all over her, even if she had seen this exact same body for the past ten years.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jeongyeon mumbled, tilting her head up pleadingly, “Its not my fault you’re absolutely irresistible.”

Nayeon closed the gap, letting Jeongyeon wrap her arms around her waist, till their bodies were pressed together. She let her arms wrap around Jeongyeon’s neck, tangling her hands into Jeongyeon’s longer hair—she was kind of really rocking the longer cut. Nayeon wondered if she’d stick with it this time around, it was the longest it had been in years.

Jeongyeon deepened the kiss, Nayeon could feel the telltale signs that her girlfriend was getting lost in the intimacy of it all. The way her leg shook slightly, the way her palms grew hotter as they continued to hold Nayeon. The way her breathing grew stronger and deeper. Nayeon wanted to laugh, but she resisted, simply letting herself in the moment that felt more like a rarity as they got older. Jihyo was fully capable of handling herself downstairs, and if she really needed them—she’d ring the bell.

“…we should—,” Jeongyeon suddenly pleaded, the moment their lips pulled away, eyes looking up to Nayeon with a look reserved solely for her. A look of pleading, eyes and voice just the perfect mix of suggestion and wanting—Nayeon didn’t hold back her laugh this time.

“I thought you wanted to meet the neighbors,” Nayeon couldn’t help but taunt, cupping Jeongyeon’s face with her hands, kissing her again. “What happened to that?”

“They’re literally going to be next to us,” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, “They can wait. Its not like they’re going to go anywhere any time soon.” Her hands held Nayeon’s waist, though, Nayeon knew it was more to keep herself grounded more than it was to keep Nayeon grounded.

“Please?” Jeongyeon pleaded, holding her closer, “You just look so beautiful right now and I really, really want you to—”

It was still endearing, after all these years. How Jeongyeon still looked to Nayeon with admiration and desire—Nayeon would have thought that flame would have died out long ago. But really, it just seemed to have grown stronger the longer they stayed together. And it gave her ego a bit of a boost—she loved pleasing such a beautiful woman. Her beautiful woman.

Nayeon cooed, kissing the corner of Jeongyeon’s lips, “You’re cute,” She decided on, peppering more kisses around Jeongyeon’s now flushed face, “…On the couch though?”

“This couch has seen worse,” Jeongyeon quickly reminded.

“Good point,” Nayeon agreed.

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 9:59 PM (Nayeon, give yourself a pat on the back.)

“I’m going to see if Jihyo needs any help closing up,” Nayeon finally managed to roll off the sofa, even if the blankets and Jeongyeon’s body heat were so addicting to her at this moment, slipping on the t-shirt she was wearing earlier before it had gotten lost in the mess of things. It felt cool against her heated skin.

Jeongyeon only pulled the blankets over herself, curling up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll fix myself up in a minute,” She mumbled out, Nayeon could see the shine of her lip gloss over Jeongyeon’s cheeks. Her hair was certainly more noticeably disheveled, frizzing slightly with a bit of bedhead, “Hurry back…?”

“I will,” Nayeon promised, going to their room and grabbing a pair of sweatpants, throwing them on because she really wasn’t here to impress anyone and those pants were getting thrown off the moment she came back into the apartment anyway.

“We can just go introduce ourselves to the neighbors tomorrow,” Jeongyeon added thoughtfully, “I can, like…bake them something? Right? That’s a thing to be nice, I’m sure.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nayeon agreed, “See you in a minute?”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon stretched, “I love you.”

Nayeon hummed, feeling very full of compassion and cockiness, opening the door, “I love you too—Oh my god—” Nayeon felt her voice catch in her throat, seeing a familiar woman standing right at her door, hand curled into a fist as if she was about to knock on the door. The woman with familiar wavy brown hair, now cascading down her shoulders, the same round glasses and sharp nose Nayeon had noted the very first time seeing her. Wearing more casual clothes, a loose satin pink button up haphazardously buttoned up and dark loose black pants. With the same converse from earlier in the week.

A very surprised, very recognizable Sana stood right in front of her door, eyes wide as she absorbed everything she was seeing—by her side two very unrecognizable women with equally wide eyes and embarrassed expression.

“Nayeon?” Sana sputtered out.

“Who’s there?” Jeongyeon questioned, sitting up slightly, Nayeon had a morbid realization that none of this looked remotely straight. Mostly because Jeongyeon wasn’t wearing a shirt and was holding the blankets over herself in confusion. Looking painfully hot and very gay. Nayeon felt the blush grow ten times hotter as it crawled up her neck and cheeks.

“Gay!” Sana suddenly pointed directly to Nayeon, eyes wide in realization.

Nayeon slammed the door shut.

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 9:53 PM

“At least the movers did all the heavy duty items,” Sana pointed out, beginning to check off her notebook’s list to make sure everything was transferred safely and nothing was stolen or out of place, she stopped for a moment, looking around, “…Where the hell did my pen go?’ She mumbled to herself, shuffling about with her home slippers, hair messily pulled away from her face, ironically using a pencil it hold it in place.

“Unpacking still sucks,” Momo whined, “Why do I own so much shit?” She had long since discarded her white knit turtleneck and jean jacket, simply wearing the lace tank she wore beneath everything and her jeans.

“I can help you unpack,” Mina offered, “I don’t mind.” Mina was probably the only one who dressed appropriately for moving. Granted, this was her third big move. She wore a simple gray oversized Nike crewneck, and blue running shorts, lounging on the couch.

“Don’t you have like, three boxes worth of collectibles to unpack first?” Momo snorted, “Shouldn’t you do that?”

“I already did,” Mina shrugged, “I’m fast, what can I say?”

“Well, we have everything,” Sana checked off the last of her list, having found her pen inside one of the empty pots on the counter, “I think we made a pretty good choice with this complex. I know its not the roomiest, but the neighborhood felt fairly safe and friendly. You know, in comparison to other areas.”

“The grocery store isn’t too far,” Momo pointed out, “There’s a convenience store up the road too.”

“Lots of bars down the next block,” Mina added, “I think we made a pretty good choice.”

Sana looked at everything they had so far, the living room was right in the front, Momo’s old sofa from her apartment is what they brought along, a bit worn but a pretty light brown that she had purchase at a garage sale three years ago. The television was Sana’s from her room in her parents’ house, a bit bigger which was nice. Mina’s old entertainment center from her dorm room was now there the television was set up, right in the middle. To the right, a stack of movies they had collected over the years was laying around. To the left shelf, a few video games Mina indulged in, her Super Nintendo set up and stored in the cabinets beneath the television, along with their speakers for their cassette player.

They brought along Momo’s low table from her apartment, it was off to the side beside the front door, pillows for their knees on the sides they usually sat on.

Behind the couch, the kitchen was well lit, a small island partitioning between the kitchen and living room, with a bit of counter space, the sink, dishwasher, and the refrigerator. Momo had already claimed the kitchen, her at home knife set, utensils, and her spice rack already having been set up. Momo was already looking through her box of pans and pots, searching for a specific one while her mind seem to think about what to eat that night.

“What time is it?” Mina blinked, stifling a yawn as she flopped onto the sofa, grabbing one of her blankets she brought from Japan, “I feel like we’ve been moving stuff for hours now.”

“Its going to be 10 soon,” Sana checked her watch, “So yes, we’ve been at this for about seven hours.”

“Guess we can just check the laundromat out tomorrow then,” Mina sighed, looking absolutely exhausted, pulling up the blanket over herself, “They close right now.”

“The convenience store is still open, right?” Momo asked, popping up beside Sana, slipping an arm around Sana’s waist absentmindedly, holding her close.

“It should be,” Sana turned to rest her head on Momo’s shoulder, already feeling a soreness in her legs from lifting, “I’m pretty sure its 24/7.”

“Army stew it is,” Momo nodded, “We need to go to the convenience store.”

“Right now?” Sana whined, Mina groaned from the couch, “Can’t we just call it a night?”

“You’re funny,” Momo said flatly, “You guys aren’t going to bed without food. It doesn’t work that way.”

“We know,” Sana rolled her eyes, leaning more of her body weight onto Momo, who only wrapped both arms around her to hold her up. Sana liked that Momo was the strong type, she liked a stable figure in her life, “…We might as well introduce ourselves to the neighbors.”

“Its nearly10 PM,” Mina pointed out, “I doubt anyone would be awake right now.”

“Its break,” Sana scoffed, “Everyone is awake right now. It wouldn’t hurt to knock, no? If they answer, cool, we can apologize for all the ruckus today—”

“Ruckus?” Mina snorted.

“—If not, oh well, maybe we can see them tomorrow.” Sana chose to ignore Mina’s teasing.

“It would give me time to bake something for them,” Momo considered, arms still around Sana as she stared to the ceiling in deep thought, “Maybe cookies…? Everyone likes cookies, right?”

“Get your shoes on,” Sana tugged Momo’s arms, dragging her to the living room with Mina, who only groaned and pulled the blanket over her face.

“C’mon Minari~” Sana sang, grabbing her arms and pulling her up. Mina only let herself be dragged up, as Sana attached herself to Mina—hugging her tightly and pressing their cheeks together.

“I’m tired,” Mina whined, but let herself be hugged, even embracing the affection by holding Sana back, neither Momo nor Mina were fazed by Sana’s constant affection. Sana swears she lived off of it.

“But think about it,” Sana reasoned, still pressing her cheek against Mina’s, “Momo’s cooking—”

“Considered,” Mina cracked an eye open, “Still considering.”

“Aw c’mon Minari,” Momo cut in, pouting slightly as she squished onto Mina’s other side, pressing her cheek against Mina’s other cheek. So that she was now squished between Momo and Sana simultaneously, “I thought you loved my cooking.”

“Fine—” Mina finally caved, Sana could feel her cheeks growing warmer the longer they stayed, “Let’s go.”

They all gathered their shoes, Momo slid her sweater and jean jacket back on, Sana didn’t get as cold as people would have assumed, opting out of any jacket, while Mina kept her crewneck on.

“Do you think Jeongyeon will actually be okay with me reaching out?” Momo asked as Sana locked the door. She made a note to get the key copied soon, because there was a very strong chance she was going to misplace hers soon. It was a damn good thing Momo and Mina were much better about that than she was.

“Why wouldn’t she?” Mina asked, “You saved her life. She seemed pretty excited to meet you from how you explained it.”

“I mean, you never know,” Momo shrugged, Sana watched as Mina slid her arm to link with Momo’s reassuringly, “Sometimes people just say shit to be nice.”

“I don’t think she’d lie about this,” Mina reassured her as they walked just a few steps down the hall, “She owes a piece of her life to you.”

Sana felt the way they stood beside her, as they stood in front of their new neighbor’s front door.

“How strange,” Sana mumbled, “We’re about to introduce ourselves to new neighbors. Do you think they’ll be nice?”

“I hope so,” Momo snorted, “Or this next year is going to be a pain in the ass.”

Sana reached up, fist ready to knock on the door before she heard a click, the sound of the knob jiggling, opening before she could so as much as even process what was happening.

“I love you too—” The voice was strikingly familiar, slightly turned in reference to someone inside the apartment, before turning around, “Oh my god—”

Sana was met with a familiar face, short bobbed brown hair and pale skin. Hair now disheveled and looking much livelier than she did earlier this week. Cheeks now burning a deep shade of red, eyes wide in alarm. Sana froze, hand still held as if about to knock, jaw dropping open when she realized just who she was looking at.

“Nayeon?” Sana sputtered out in shock, feeling painfully embarrassed to see the older woman so casual and lax, something she nearly felt was borderline inappropriate to look at.

“Who’s there?” Another voice asked from inside the apartment, stirring a bit. Sana was taller than Nayeon, this may have been more of a curse than a blessing at this moment, Sana’s eyes unable to resist looking to where the voice was coming from, feeling her face explode in recognition to see bare shoulders showing as a blanket was pulled up. It was a woman laying on the couch, entirely confused as Sana looked to Nayeon’s face, which seemed to have paled even more.

The pieces connected in Sana’s brain, everything clicking right into place. Something inside her shook, maybe it was the feeling of triumph to realize her predictions were absolutely true—Sana loved being right. Whatever it was, it came over her without much thought, (though, she hated to admit this was sort of a common theme with her) Sana’s vindication coming in the form of her finger pointing to Nayeon in triumph.

“Gay!” Sana exclaimed without thinking too much.

Nayeon slammed the door right in her face. Maybe Sana deserved that just a little bit.

“Sana!” Momo spun her around, holding her by her shoulders and giving her a hard shake, looking just as embarrassed as Sana felt, “You can’t be spewing the first thing on your mind! We’ve been over this before!”

“I’m sorry!” Sana let herself be aggressively shaken, feeling like she needed to jar her brain to think straight, “I got caught up in the moment!”

“You embarrassed the poor woman!” Momo continued to scold her, “Who was that?!”

“Its Nayeon!” Sana gestured to the door, “Nayeon! The one I told you about!”

“Hot damn,” Mina mumbled out, unmoving but her face was now nearly as red as a cherry, “She is gay…”

“See?!” Sana continued to gesture, too many emotions piling up, “I told you! I told you! What did I say?!”

“Okay, okay!” Momo held her hands up in surrender, “Cool Satang! You’re right! Cool! You still need to apologize!”

“Right!” Sana aggressively agreed, pivoting around and knocking on the door as hard as she could, rapping fast onto the wooden door.

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon barely cracked the door open, rolling her eyes to still see Sana standing there, “What, Sana?! What?”

“Me too!” Sana still wasn’t thinking, trying to scramble to fix her outburst, “Nayeon, I’m gay too!”

“Uhm…good for you…?” Another voice suddenly piped up, Sana yelped, turning to see a teenager no older than 18 right next to them, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Two babies were wrapped around her. Momo gasped.

“Babies?” Momo questioned, eyes widening with a specific twinkle, “Whose babies are those?”

The teenager scoffed, “Well, probably the teenager carrying them…but I don't know, you tell me.” Her tone was snippy and sarcastic, looking to Momo with pure deadpan.

Mina brought a hand to cover her mouth, hiding the giggle that she very obviously wanted to let out. Sana sighed, bringing a hand to her face and slapping her forehead in exasperation. Bless Momo, her poor little soul was always just a bit slower to catch on to these things, Sana knew this and wholly accepted it with open arms, but that didn’t mean it didn’t catch a few moments of oblivion. She watched as Nayeon blinked a few times, absorbing the interaction, as the teen gave Momo an incredulous expression.

Mina snickered, Momo blushed. “Right,” She tried to cover her tracks, “That...that makes sense."

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon’s voice grew even more agitated, swinging the apartment door wide open, “Jihyo you can’t—Can this get any more fucking embarrassing?”

“...Yunjin shit herself…?” The teenager, Jihyo, gave Nayeon a confused look, “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Just get inside,” Nayeon motioned for the teen to come in. Her face was still burning, looking directly to Sana, Momo, and Mina respectively.

Sana could see Momo in her peripherals face palming, “We’re fucked,” Momo muttered.

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon grumbled out again, grabbing Sana’s arm and dragging her inside, before motioning for the other two to follow. Sana heard the door slam shut behind her.

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 10:01 PM

“What the hell?” Jeongyeon questioned, Nayeon slammed her back against the door for good measure, burying her face into her hands as she wished she could somehow melt and drown simultaneously.

“Put a shirt on!” Nayeon hissed, grabbing Jeongyeon’s t-shirt and throwing it to her, “We’re so fucked! Absolutely fucked!”

“Babe, chill,” Jeongyeon threw her shirt on, “Who was that?”

“Sana!” Nayeon whisper yelled, gritting her teeth as she could hear muffled arguing going on outside the door, “I’m so fucked.”

“I mean,” Jeongyeon sat up, “She didn’t sound accusing as much as she did make a pretty valid statement.”

“You’re not making this any better!” Nayeon scolded, feeling herself burn, “This is so fucking embarrassing!”

“I’m the one who was boobs out,” Jeongyeon pointed out, “If anything this would be embarrassing for me. But I have nothing to hide, so—”

“You suck at this,” Nayeon argued with her, before they both jumped at the sound a rapid knocking at their door.

“…What are the chances that’s still her?” Nayeon groaned.

“Pretty high,” Jeongyeon shrugged, grabbing her crutches, pulling herself up, “Babe, just own up to it. You literally told me you think she’s gay too.”

“Ugh,” Nayeon snarked, growing annoyed with the knocking, cracking the door open and of course, seeing none other than Sana again, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, with two friends by her sides.

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon groaned, “What, Sana?! What?”

Sana’s eyes darted in panic, obviously not prepared to actually make it this far, desperate to make sure Nayeon kept the door open. “…Me too!” She suddenly exclaimed, gesturing to herself, “Nayeon, I’m gay too!”

Nayeon’s vindication was interrupted by yet another familiar voice, she gasped to see Jihyo suddenly by the door, staring to Sana and her friends with a purely confused expression.

“Uhm…good for you?” Jihyo’s tone was unsure and sarcastic, shooting Nayeon a confused glance.

Nayeon wanted to slam her face into the door, knowing damn well Jihyo’s lack of social awareness was going to get them no where in this situation. She heard Sana’s yelp, obviously thrown off to see Jihyo suddenly standing there, two babies wrapped around her skillfully. In this moment, Nayeon took a second to observe the two other women who were standing on either side of Sana.

Now, the chances of each of her friends being their own form of beautiful was absolutely insane—never impossible, but highly unlikely.

Nayeon loved to be proven wrong in these situations.

“Babies?” One of her friends with full bangs gasped out, eyes twinkling as she stared down to Jihyo, “Whose babies are those?”

Jihyo scoffed, giving her a slight look of disbelief, “Well, probably the teenager carrying them…" Jesus, Nayeon needed Jihyo to get some social skills, “But I don't know, you tell me.”

Sana’s friend cringed, blushing in embarrassment, “Right…” She muttered. "That...that makes sense."

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon felt like a broken record player, “Jihyo you can’t—” It felt pointless to scold her, “Can this get anymore fucking embarrassing?”

Jihyo blinked, “…Yunjin shit herself…?” There was genuineness in her tone, actually trying to help Nayeon’s claim, “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

This was pointless, Nayeon thought to herself, opening the door fully. “Just get inside,” She motioned for Jihyo, who listened without another word, giving Sana another confused glance as she passed by her. Nayeon sucked up her pride, looking to Sana for a moment as the younger one stared back at her with wide curious eyes.

Sana’s friend facepalmed, shaking her head, “We’re fucked,” She mumbled.

“Oh my fucking god,” Nayeon accepted bitter defeat, grabbing Sana’s arm and dragging her inside, looking to her two friends as well.

“Get in,” Nayeon ordered, the two had no problem listening, scrambling to come in as Nayeon shut the door behind her.

Mach 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 10:03 PM

Jeongyeon wanted to laugh so bad, it was borderline painful. Because, she immediately recognized the woman who scrambled in, wearing a dark fur lined jean jacket, with a white turtleneck, tucked into a pair of denim bootcut jeans and a pair of black heeled boots. With dark hair and a full set of bangs, slightly frizzed from the wind, and dark red lipstick.

It appeared the woman recognized her as well, eyes widening.

“…Jeongyeon?”

“Hi Momo,” Jeongyeon kindly greeted, waving slightly.

“You’re gay?!” Momo exclaimed, not sounding malicious but more sounding completely mind-blown at the notion. As if she hadn’t even thought far enough to think maybe that could be a possibility. Granted, not many people would think it…also this was in fact her third time meeting Momo (second time remembering her).

“Good to see you. I see you moved in,” Jeongyeon gave a small smile, “…This…” She motioned to well, everything, “This isn’t a problem now, is it?”

Momo’s eyes stayed wide but she shook her head defiantly. “Absolutely not!” She insisted.

“…Don’t tell me,” Nayeon shut her eyes in defeat, “That’s her, isn’t it?”

“In the flesh and blood,” Jeongyeon confirmed, knowing Nayeon was probably thinking of every way she could disappear off the face of the earth and never return.

“Uhm…” Nayeon bit her lip unsurely, “I-I’m a little too caught up with everything to really process this.”

“Its okay,” Momo smiled reassuringly, “I’m just as lost as you are if that makes you feel better.”

“How do you know her?” The one Nayeon said was Sana turned to Momo with confused eyes.

“That…that’s her,” Momo pointed to Jeongyeon as if words were escaping her, “The-the one—”

“The little damsel from the motorcycle accident,” Jeongyeon stepped in, giving Momo a reassuring wink, “Did you know your friend is a hero?”

“She’s pretty amazing isn’t she?” Sana broke into a grin, holding a hand out for Jeongyeon to shake, “You must be Nayeon’s roommate!”

“You could say,” Jeongyeon played nice, giving the younger woman a firm handshake, but she could see the twinkle of knowing in Sana’s eyes.

“You actually hate me,” Nayeon was by her side, Jeongyeon loved the specific slight pout that took over her expression, “Don’t you?” They both knew Jeongyeon was enjoying this way more than Nayeon was.

“What? Me?” Jeongyeon chuckled, “That’s impossible.”

“You don’t have to feel embarrassed Nayeon!” Sana insisted, “I didn’t mean to say it out loud! And I-I mean…it was kind of obvious when I met you—”

“Obvious?” Jeongyeon snorted, “Wait…so Nayeon was right?” No way.

“I mean,” Sana contemplated, “Like…she mentioned lavender. Which obviously could be simply just a preference but I figured there was a double entendre given the painting that sparked this whole ordeal was by Georgia O’Keeffe—who has always been discussed in regards to allusions to female genitalia—I kind of figured she was being brazen by that point. Of course, giving her the benefit of the doubt, I also noticed her labrys necklace, which obviously was claimed by the lesbian community back in the 70s. She also had a Sappho book in one of her boxes, but I didn’t want to be too open about it, but she also seemed to take note of my favorite flower being lilies and my favorite color being violet. By that point I was being so incredibly bold and open so I am so sorry about that because I was being so coy.”

Jeongyeon could not figure out what the hell Sana meant by coy…

“But I also assumed she had a partner,” Sana continued, “Given she had a bit of a slip up and almost referred to someone starting with the letter p—now I see this was referring to you, and p had to have been the start of the word partner, because I literally had this discussion with them two about how pal was too synonymous to friend to mix up and correct intentionally.”

“Sana you’re rambling,” Sana’s other friend who Jeongyeon did not know the name of stepped in shyly, cheeks still pink for some reason that Jeongyeon chalked up to being embarrassed.

“See?” Nayeon gave Jeongyeon a slight look of triumph, despite her embarrassment “I told you she was practically saying it to my face. I’m always right.”

“…I never doubted you,” Jeongyeon snorted, “You seem to be very, very smart, Sana.”

“Thank you,” Sana beamed, “I try not to overthink things but sometimes it feels necessary. But yes…I had a feeling Nayeon. Sorry again…I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“No, no,” Nayeon shook her head, “I get it. Vindication does strange things to people.”

“But yes,” Sana continued, “I am also gay. Well…bisexual actually. But gay, nonetheless.”

“I figured,” Nayeon nodded, “Okay well…I guess you know this about me now,” She took a small breath, as if to prepare herself, “…I’m gay.” Jeongyeon knew it was never really easy for her to admit, even now.

“This is great!” Sana exclaimed, “We know each other, Momo and Jeongyeon know each other—”

“…Do I know you?” Jihyo turned to face the other friend, now Jeongyeon had a chance to really look at her. She had cascading black shimmery hair, she looked like she was two seconds from crying, her eyes sparking endlessly. Her lips were slightly parted, she was obviously a bit uncomfortable in this sudden social situation. She had a pattern of moles across her pale skin, paler than Nayeon’s which was an insane feat because Jeongyeon thought Nayeon was the palest person she knew. She looked a bit younger, definitely a bit younger than Momo.

“No, I don’t believe so,” Her voice was soft, it kind of sounded something like honey, sweet and thick.

Jeongyeon watched as Jihyo blinked a few times, as if processing seeing this woman. “...Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly beautiful?”

Jeongyeon wanted to laugh, she resisted but Nayeon’s jaw still dropped.

“I’ve been told I’m beautiful sometimes, yes,” The young woman smiled.

“Like…” Jihyo was looking conflicted, as if she couldn’t stop what was tumbling out of her mouth, “Like…damn. That’s crazy. You’re really pretty. Like…you could be on television pretty.” Where the hell was this side of Jihyo coming from?

“Funny you say that!” Sana spoke but Momo elbowed her before she could finish her statement. Sana only whined in protest.

“Thank you,” She instead gave Jihyo a genuine smile, “What’s your name? I don’t think any of us know you.”

“Oh,” Jihyo nodded, “Yeah. I’m Jihyo.”

“And I’m Mina,” Mina introduced, now Jeongyeon had a name to the face.

“How do you know Nayeon and Jeongyeon, Jihyo?” Momo asked curiously.

“Oh,” Jihyo was looking a bit embarrassed to be under so many eyes, “Well you see…its kind of a long story. Just know that I live with them…and those babies are mine,” She pointed to Yunjin and Taehyun, who were laying on the sleeping mat, entertained enough with each other.

“How old are you?” Mina asked curiously, “You look younger.”

“I am,” Jihyo nodded, “I’m 17. Just turned 17 actually, like…about a month ago.”

“17?! You’re young as hell!” Sana gawked, and Momo elbowed her again. It appeared Sana’s intelligence might just be her greatest gift as much as it was her worst enemy. She seemed to have a bit of a hard time with social awareness.

“Wow,” Mina breathed out, “Well, I’m 20.”

“You’re 20?! That’s young as hell too! What the?!” Now, it was Nayeon’s turn for her jaw to drop. Maybe there was a bit more similarity within Nayeon and Sana than Jeongyeon cared to admit. But a piece of her felt her heart twist, not in pain, but in nostalgia. One of the greatest gifts Jihyo ever unknowingly gave to them was bringing Nayeon’s spark back. The spark Jeongyeon had barely been able to get to know—so many years ago. The slightly nerdy, slightly impatient Nayeon.

“Well, about to be 21,” Mina clarified quietly, “In a few weeks.”

Huh, looks like just turned 17 and about to turn 21 had two very different looks.

“So you guys moved in next door?” Jihyo asked, looking between the three but mostly putting her attention to Mina, who she seemed to have taken a liking to. “I gotta be honest…I forgot other people lived here.”

“We just moved in today,” Sana explained, “We were planning on introducing ourselves to our neighbors…but it seems we may have already gotten familiar with you all.”

“A bit too familiar,” Nayeon huffed, “Let’s just get some things out there since we’re all here, huh?”

“Okay,” Sana agreed eagerly, Jeongyeon could really see the similarities in her and Nayeon, it was almost scary. “Clarify away.”

“Well,” Nayeon looked a bit unsure, Jeongyeon took the cue and wrapped her arm around Nayeon’s waist carefully, pulling her closer, Nayeon wrapped an arm around Jeongyeon’s shoulders in response, “I don’t know if it was obvious—but Jeongyeon and I are together.”

“How long?” Mina piped in, eyes shining with a twinkle of wonder Jeongyeon hardly ever saw in people. A specific look of awe as she watched them interact.

“Ten years,” Jeongyeon smiled. Sana’s jaw dropped, Mina’s eyes twinkled. Momo kept most of her expressions under wraps but even she couldn’t hide her surprise, her eyes widening slightly.

“Ten years?” Momo repeated in disbelief, “That…that’s crazy…”

“That’s beautiful,” Mina whispered, “Congratulations to you two.”

“…Your voice is weirdly calming,” Jihyo pointed out. Maybe Jeongyeon needed to have a talk with her about this.

“Thanks,” Nayeon looked to Mina gratefully, “I don’t think many people have this reaction.”

“Well I-I mean,” Mina trailed off, “I mean its beautiful to see you know? You don’t get to see people…um…who are like you…who have long successful relationships like this—”

“Just say it, Minari,” Sana looked to her encouragingly, “You might as well start getting used to it.”

“Well I-I just mean…” Mina’s ears went pink, “Like because…as a gay woman myself—”

“You’re gay?!” Jeongyeon actually couldn’t stop her surprise, looking to Mina, “Like...you?”

“Yes,” Mina replied, very obviously growing more shy every moment that passed.

“Oh my god, that’s a win for us,” Nayeon held out her hand and Jeongyeon was more than eager to high five her.

“I should have figured,” Jihyo said, she was now sitting on the mat with her kids, “I mean…everyone you guys know is basically gay. Lesbian farmers…a gay musician…gay hairstylist…a bisexual nurse—” She held up fingers for each member she could remember, “You only know two straight guys.”

“Well you could add me to that list too,” Momo joked. Jihyo raised a suspicious brow, giving Momo a once over as if taking all of her in, “…You sure about that?” She stood up once again, making her way back over, arm around Jeongyeon to help keep her steady. Ah, what a considerate kid, in her weird, emotionally stunted way.

“I mean…” Momo trailed off, obviously taken aback by Jihyo’s blunt statement, cheeks going pink, “I think? I-I’m pretty sure.”

“You think?” This seemed to be news to Sana based off her tone. Jeongyeon tried not to smile, watching Sana and Mina’s bewildered expressions.

“I-I mean—” Momo stuttered, pointing to Jihyo accusingly, “She said it like I should be doubting it!”

“Once you let her mess with you, she’s never going to stop,” Jeongyeon chuckled, throwing an arm around Jihyo and holding her close, “She’s gotten that from me, I’m afraid.”

Jihyo grinned as wide as she could, totally unapologetic to the havoc she just caused. Jeongyeon felt she still looked younger than her age, but her cheeks were more rounded, fuller in health. She was a tad taller (though not by much), and her hair was still styled in the same undercut she had gotten last year. The only real difference aside from having babies was the way her mouth was now full of braces—the best gift Jeongyeon and Nayeon could give to her for her birthday. Her grin was covered in tangerine bands, so maybe that’s why Jeongyeon felt she still looked so childish, even at 17.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Momo muttered, but her attention was now to the babies on the mat, Taehyun had stayed on his back but Yunjin was trying to roll around, Jihyo knelt to the floor to set a pillow and turned her. “Tummy time?” Jihyo asked, as Yunjin started to babble incoherently.

“So these are her babies?” Sana questioned, looking between Jeongyeon and Nayeon with a glint in her eyes, choosing her words very carefully, “…How old are they?”

“Five months,” Jihyo answered, cutting in sharply, “If you have any questions about them, you can ask me.”

“Right,” Sana quickly apologized, kneeling down to the ground to join Jihyo, watching her babies curiously, “So they’re five months?”

“Yup,” Jihyo nodded, “They’re fraternal twins. Dragon-phoenix twins is what they’re always referred to as.”

“Oh, yes!” Sana perked up, “I do remember reading about the mythological associations regarding fraternal twins—”

“What are their names?” Momo asked.

“Yunjin,” Jihyo pointed to the baby currently on her stomach, using her energy to lift her head to look around, “And Taehyun,” She pointed to the baby with the pacifier in his mouth, already beginning to doze off, “Yunjin is older by nine minutes.”

“And the dad…?” Sana looked up to Jeongyeon and Nayeon unsurely, as if her mind was racing with so many questions but she was a little more aware about the context of the situation.

“Not in their life,” Jihyo shook her head, going a bit quiet, “Not in mine either. But I made it that way, so…”

“Well we definitely need to catch up over drinks soon,” Jeongyeon decided to swoop in, “We’re very sorry all of this came so suddenly—we wanted to properly introduce ourselves like good neighbors—”

“But you got sidetracked,” Sana smirked, giving them a wink, “I get it.”

“…Sidetracked?” Jihyo eyed them suspiciously.

“Sana,” Momo sighed, “Sana, you need to censor yourself—”

“Gross—” Jihyo scrunched her nose, “You guys are gross.” Jeongyeon simply shrugged, it wasn't her fault she had a hot girlfriend, really. Nayeon, on the other hand, buried her face into her hands.

“I’m surprised you’re taking this so well,” Mina looked to Jeongyeon curiously, Jeongyeon only chuckled.

“Believe me, I don’t think there’s anything that can actually embarrass me anymore,” Jeongyeon shook her head, giving Nayeon a reassuring pat on her back, “I’ve grown immune.”

“I think its about time for us to head out,” Momo offered, throwing her arms around Mina and Sana respectively, pulling them towards her, “Again, Nayeon, we’re so sorry for seeing things we probably weren’t meant to see—”

“Its okay,” Nayeon finally sighed in defeat, “Really. I need to get over it. Just…” Her eyes wavered slightly, “…Don’t mention it…?”

Sana and Mina had very knowing glints in their eyes. Momo nodded vigorously, “Of course we won’t,” She insisted, “We promise. Maybe we can catch up again another time.”

“I’d like that,” Jeongyeon patted Momo’s shoulder, “It would be nice to get to know you guys.”

March 3rd, 1995. Approximate time, 10:27 PM

“So…” Momo trailed.

“That was a thing,” Mina said slowly.

“I can’t believe that happened…” Sana trailed off on their otherwise silent walk to the convenient store, the cold being much more biting at night, the wind nipping at Momo’s nose as she sniffed.

“The important thing is that Nayeon and Jeongyeon felt comfortable telling us these things,” Mina mentioned.

“No,” Sana shook her head, “The important thing is that I was right.”

“Sana,” Momo sighed, but there was no actual annoyance in her tone, as she chuckled lightly, “You can’t make this about you.”

“But it is!” Sana pleaded, grabbing Momo’s arm and shaking her slightly, “I was right. I’m so good at subliminal gay culture—”

“Unbelievable,” Mina shook her head, a small smile growing as Sana squeezed between them, linking both her arms to theirs respectively, their breaths fogging in the cold, “This is going to have undeniable ramifications to her ego.”

“Undeniable ramifications as in further confirming I am in fact, an actual genius,” Sana grinned, “I can’t express the high I’m riding on right now.”

“Unacceptable,” Mina looked to Sana with feign-seriousness, “The council denies it.” She reached out with her free hand, cupping Sana’s cheek and making sure they looked to one another, “Unless you wish to plea your case.”

“My defense is that I’m right,” Sana stuck her tongue out, “And the council can go fuck itself—”

“Point made,” Mina laughed, patting Sana’s cheek affectionately, while Momo watched them. She smiled, it always felt good to watch them interact. Momo liked that Sana and Mina got along, that they had things in common that she herself couldn’t fill sometimes. Just in the way Mina could be Momo’s much desired comforting darkness, she was definitely Sana’s something. She made Sana smile—Momo supposed that was the best thing anyone could ever do for Sana.

The thought of Sana losing that was probably one of the worst things Momo had to ever see. But Mina never made Sana frown, she only ever made her smile. If Momo made Sana laugh, Mina made her smile. Maybe if Momo was Sana’s rock, Mina was something like Sana’s peace. Or something of that manner.

Whatever it was, Momo felt the wistfulness in her chest, watching Sana and Mina giggle and chat incessantly. She watched Mina’s soft expression and Sana’s twinkling eyes, they looked so comfortable with one another. She wondered if they ever would get together—it was a strange thought that crossed her mind since the moment she saw Mina—the way Sana brightened and had no problem doing whatever it took to make sure Mina was comfortable. Of course, Sana was just like that, but Momo still wondered. There was a couple other reason why she wondered they hadn’t tried it out yet, but she pushed that thought away before she could dwell too long into it.

Thinking about Sana going into a relationship left a bitter taste in Momo’s mouth, for a handful of reasons. And the idea of Mina getting into one felt too odd to think about, not because she never had pursuers, but because Mina was so introverted, it was hard to imagine anyone coming into her life like that. Either way, both ideas left strange feelings to Momo, but that was never anything she’d ever bring up. The only way she could wrap her mind around it was when she watched the two together. And maybe it was a bit stereotypical to pair the only two gay women she knew together, but it fit. It matched, Sana’s sun and Mina’s moon, watching as Mina continued to make Sana giggle.

And somehow, every time Momo had that thought cross her mind, she still was somehow in the picture, watching them both with a specific affection she wasn’t good at wording. Was it a bit strange? Maybe, but that’s just how it always was, to be with Sana for so long. To be learning who Mina was as a person. Maybe that’s just it would always be, Momo didn’t know, and she didn’t really mind, either.

She didn’t mind even when Mina and Sana fell asleep on the couch, Sana’s head in her lap, legs outstretched, and Mina leaning onto her shoulder, with her arm around her to keep Mina steady. Momo didn’t mind seeing both of them comfortable, she didn’t mind her legs were falling asleep and her arm was cramping slightly. She didn’t mind that her neck was going to be a bitch to crack in the morning, nor did Momo mind that she was probably going to repeat nights like this for a long time. She craved it actually.

Not that she would tell them or anything like that.

Chapter Text

March 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 10:12 AM

“And that about wraps up our tour,” Mina’s guide checked her watch, “Any questions or concerns you can bring them up to the broadcasting head down in the west wing. Other than that, feel free to speak to your hair and makeup stylist for any specific concerns or preferences. Can you handle it?”

“Absolutely,” Mina nodded, “Thank you for taking time to show me around.”

“I get paid by the hour,” She snorted, “I need to go. Be prepped—”

She scurried off, Mina listened to the sound of her heels clicking until it faded completely, checking her watch. Barely around 10 AM, Mina figured she had time to check the latest weather data—maybe take a moment to—

Whatever thought Mina was formulating was interrupted by a figure walking over to her, which she curiously turned to come face to face with a tall man. His hair was dark and trimmed on the sides, but long on top, brushed off to one side of his face, reaching just about his eye level. He had a slender but square face, his eyebrows were sharply shaped and thick, his eyes a warm brown. He wore a plain white button up, the sleeves rolled up, having already loosened his navy tie just a bit, carrying his sports coat in one arm.

“Hello,” He smiled, his voice was deep, very resound to Mina’s ears. She could immediately clock him as a news anchor, with his handsome face and pronounced voice, “I don’t believe we’ve had the chance to meet.”

“I suppose,” Mina smiled politely to him, keeping a bit of distance, out of pure habit, “You must be an anchor?”

“I am,” He brought a hand to his chest to introduce himself, Mina noted how he did not try to step any closer, “My name is Park Seonghwa. I was an early morning news anchor, but I’ve since moved to the 8 AM time slot.”

“Oh,” Mina smiled a bit more genuinely, “That’s the best slot, is it not? The news time all businesses turn on?”

“It is,” He grinned proudly, “I just got promoted. You’ll most likely see me in passing then. I’m assuming you’re new?”

“I am,” Mina confirmed, holding her hand out to shake, “My name is Mina. Myoui Mina.”

“Ah—” He did not grip her hand too tightly, mindful of her jewelry as he gave her a polite shake, “Yes. From Japan, right?”

“Yes,” She confirmed once again, “I’ll be the weather reporter for the 5 AM to 7 AM news.”

“Ah, yes,” He chuckled, “The dead slot, am I right?”

“Unfortunately so,” Mina chuckled, “Though I’m not complaining. I don’t even think I really mind the dead slot.”

“I was fond of it, too,” Seonghwa agreed, “But I really do enjoy coming in when the sun is actually beginning to rise.”

“Oh yes,” Mina sighed, “I’ll have to get used to that. I’m a first year though, so I’m still used to the internship hours. 3 AM feels like its going to be a breeze for me.”

He grinned again, looking very entertained at their conversation before his pager went off. “Ah, I have to go,” He sighed tiredly, “It was nice to meet you Mina. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.”

He took off, briskly leaving and giving Mina a wave goodbye as he disappeared.

March 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 11:06 AM

Mina was more than ready to just go back to her apartment and crash out for another two hours. it was barely nearly 11 AM anyways, she had been up and around since 3:30. But the more sensible side of her knew she needed to wash her laundry before anything else, a weeks worth having piled up from being in the hotel prior to moving in. It was an arduous process, trudging in her heels and skirt, dragging the basket with her.

She made her way downstairs, finally able to put to use the laundromat attached to the apartment complex. She took a quick look around, there was already a few people inside, seated in the orange plastic seats, including a kid who was shifting around, obviously bored. The walls were faded, a tinge of yellow in the paint. It smelled of detergent and wet clothes, all the machinery a specific shade of mint that Mina found to be quite fitting for the energy around her.

“Mina?” A familiar voice called out, Mina turned to see a head sticking out from the front desk.

“Jihyo?” Mina questioned, thoroughly confused but going over anyways, seeing Jihyo waving excitedly to her from the front desk. “What are you doing here?”

“…I work here?” Jihyo said as if it was completely obvious and that Mina should have known, “Or well, I guess that didn’t get clarified. We run the laundromat, the landlord discounts their rent for it since it was pretty much abandoned when they moved in. At least, that’s what they’ve told me.”

“Huh—” Mina set her basket down, looking around to the cozy area, “I guess you learn something new everyday.”

“Yeah, so, I usually work down here most of the time, especially since Jeongyeon-unnie is still recovering and Nayeon-unnie has classes at this time.” Mina found it cute that Jihyo referred to them affectionately, she couldn’t imagine using those words to Sana or Momo, who felt too close in age to her despite the two year difference. Granted, Jihyo was freshly 17 and Nayeon was nearly ten years her senior, but still, she must have really been close to them.

“Say hi,” Jihyo looked to the baby wrapped around her chest, this baby had light brown eyes—lighter than any shade Mina had seen on anyone, a small mole on the bridge of their nose. The baby’s hair was pulled up, sprouting on the top of their head like the top of a pineapple. Mina snickered slightly, watching Jihyo adjust her baby, “Yunjin likes to be moving. So she’s more than happy being down here with me…with all this noise.”

“I’m pretty sure I remember you having two of them,” Mina joked, “Where’s…um…”

“Taehyun?” Jihyo finished, looking to Mina knowingly.

“Yes,” Mina flushed, “Him.”

“Upstairs,” Jihyo shrugged, “He loves Jeongyeon-unnie or whatever and he’s old enough that Jeongyeon can watch him while I keep an eye out on things here. I just go to feed him or bring him with me if he’s fussy. We switch off a lot. Today was a Yunjin day,” Jihyo patted Yunjin’s head gently, “She’s cool mostly. Just always squirming.”

“Do you make a lot here?” Mina looked around, “It looks a bit busy.”

“I dunno,” Jihyo shrugged, “I don’t count any of this shit. But hey, coins are money. And I’m not in school so the least I could do was help them with this. Jeongyeon-unnie and Nayeon-unnie deal with the business part of it, honestly.”

“How interesting,” Mina observed the way Yunjin yawned a huge yawn, stretching slightly before nestling back into Jihyo’s chest, “I wouldn’t have guessed this.”

“Oh yeah,” Jihyo nodded, “You’ll see me here a lot. You’ll see Nayeon-unnie here a lot with me too, she likes to do her homework here—” She pointed to the empty seat beside her, a worn out chair that looked like it belonged to a dining set, “That’s her chair. I always save it for her. So, you know, if you’re ever around and she shows up…”

“You’re kicking me off the seat?” Mina smiled lightly, seeing Jihyo not even waver as she nodded furiously.

“You seem very fond of her,” Mina pointed out, “I think its sweet.”

“I am very fond of her,” Jihyo agreed, “She helped me in some of the worst times of my life last year.”

“When did you meet them?”

“…Last year.”

“Oh,” Mina frowned, “You guys seem to act like you’ve known each other for a while.”

“Nope,” Jihyo rubbed Yunjin’s back absentmindedly, “I met them a little over a year ago.”

“Well shit,” Mina mumbled, “That’s pretty crazy.”

“It is, right?” Jihyo agreed, “But, tis life, I guess. It just kind of happened like that. Why are you dressed like that, by the way?”

“What, too stuffy?” Mina joked, having been too lazy to change from her blouse and work skirt. There was a huge chance she was just going to wear this again tomorrow since no one even really saw her today as is. Except for that Seonghwa guy, but chances were that he wouldn’t show up early again like he did today. She might as well get used to the work clothes anyways.

“I-I mean like—” Jihyo blinked a few times, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to fix her wording, “I-I mean there’s nothing wrong with it, actually. You like…you look very nice actually—very beautiful even—I-I just meant more cause like its so early. Not-not cause like you’re like…like u-ugly or anything—”

“I’m joking—” Mina felt the need to clarify when she saw the tips of Jihyo’s ears start to go red, “Take a chill pill, dude.”

“Sorry,” Jihyo sighed out, bringing her fingers to her temple, “I don’t know why I can’t shut the hell up when I try to talk to you.”

Oh what a sweet kid, Mina couldn’t help but think. She decided to save her from this, “I just got off work.”

“What?” Jihyo gawked, “You mean you get out at 11? Like you go home right now?”

“Some days yes,” Mina nodded, “Other days it might be closer to noon depending on my weather observations.”

“You’re messing with me,” Jihyo shook her head, “Weather observations?”

“Nope,” Mina couldn’t help but smile at Jihyo’s insistence, “That’s how my days will work from here on out. I’m a weather reporter. So…my schedule looks like getting up at 3 AM, getting to work, being on the air 5-7, and gathering data for the next day until about noon.”

“…And you willingly wanted that for yourself?”

“Crazy, right?”

“No way,” Jihyo scoffed, “You’re hella crazy dude. I can’t imagine purposefully waking up at 3 everyday. I mean, Yunjin never sleeps fully so I’m usually up at 3 AM anyway but if I had the option, I would be asleep, no joke. Taehyun sleeps during the night, but he never naps, so he’s usually fussy.”

“I don’t mind it,” Mina shrugged, “Its aight. I mean, I get tired of course, but I chose it you know? I can survive.”

“I guess being on television is pretty fly,” Jihyo eyed her laundry basket, “You have the face for it. And the voice. Actually…it makes a lot of sense.”

“Thank you,” Mina chuckled lightly, “I should get to my wash though—”

Jihyo looked around, a small glint of slyness twinkling in her large eyes, “You about to do a load?” She questioned, getting up from her seat.

“Yeah,” Mina watched as she walked over, she was nearly as tall as Mina, just maybe about an inch shorter. Mina took the opportunity to get a better look at her, given their first encounter was a bit…chaotic. Mina had come to learn everything involving Sana and Momo was usually like that anyway. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

Her hair was thick and with a slight wave, clipped up away from her face. Her cheeks were round, her eyes huge in comparison to even Sana and Momo’s eyes, and they had been the largest Mina had ever seen thus far in her life. She wore an oversized gray checkered flannel, the sleeves messily rolled up just enough for Jihyo to be mobile. Her baby, Yunjin, was resting against her chest, wrapped in a baby sling securely enough, yet Jihyo still cradled her carefully as she moved. She wore a pair of slightly baggy Nike track pants. Everything about her screamed teenager, save for the very wide eyed baby. Mina felt as if she for sure saw college students dressed nearly just like her when she first started university.

“How come?” Mina continued to question.

“C’mon,” Jihyo motioned, cradling Yunjin’s head as they walked past a few customers, none who batted an eye at the teen mom, some even waving to her as if they were familiar with her. They must have been regulars, given how unphased they seemed to be with Jihyo’s state.

“Check this out,” Jihyo motioned to one of the washers, gently taking Mina’s basket away from her, “Are you doing lights or darks?”

“Darks,” Mina responded, watching as Jihyo dumped the separated pile into the washer, setting up the detergent into the compartment before shutting the washer shut. “First things first,” Jihyo suddenly directed, patting the machine, “This is the best washer here. Trust me—this is the only one I’ll use if I can. The two closest to the entrance are the second and third best, but if you can get your hands on this one, do it.”

“Okay,” Mina nodded, “Gotcha, this babe here is the best washer.”

“Don’t ask why, it just is,” Jihyo added firmly, “Secondly—”

Jihyo then began to set up the washer, reaching up and taking a bobby pin from her hair as a strand fell loose, using the pin to press into a small opening off to the side of the start button. Mina watched as she twisted it and waited a few seconds, before the washer began to beep, signaling to press start, which Jihyo did with a smirk.

“There,” She patted the washer satisfied, “Complimentary wash, on the house.”

“What?” Mina gasped, “You didn’t have to do that!”

“Its fine,” Jihyo waved her off, as she made her way back to the front desk, Mina following, “Really, it wouldn’t kill me to restart it every once in a while. The washers are kind of old as is so restarting is helpful. Jeongyeon-unnie told me this.”

“I don’t want to take away from your business,” Mina protested.

“Chiiiiill,” Jihyo held out her word, “How about this? I give you a couple free loads—just you, though,” She gave Mina a warning glance, though, Mina just felt she looked even younger this way, “And maybe…we could like…I don’t know…hang out?”

Mina studied Jihyo as she sat back down, looking down onto the desk with a newfound interest on organizing a few of the papers there as Yunjin yawned again, “You know, cause like…you seem cool,” Jihyo looked back to Yunjin carefully, ruffling her daughter’s hair as Yunjin’s eyes opened, blinking the sleepiness away from them, “And I don’t really have a lot of friends. Except my friend San, but he’s also a 14 year old teenage boy so you know how that is.”

Mina giggled.

“…I’m being mean,” Jihyo suddenly corrected herself, “I’d actually kill for that boy. He’s like a brother to me, you know? Did you know he kicked a guy in the face in my honor—?”

“What?” Mina blinked but Jihyo was already lost in her thoughts.

“—But like…He’s still 14 you know? I don’t know…I haven’t really talked to someone who could understand some of the stuff I think in a while. I-I mean…I know 17 and 20 almost 21 isn’t exactly the closest but like—”

“I get it,” Mina nodded, “I mean, Momo and Sana are my closest friends, and they’re both still about 2 almost 3 years older than me.”

“Yeah, speaking of that…” Mina had a feeling Jihyo was the kind of teen who liked to ask a lot of questions. “How does your apartment look like anyway?” Jihyo questioned, holding up her pointer finger in front of Yunjin, who reached out and grabbed her mother’s finger. Mina had a fleeting thought of how strange it was to be around a teen nearly four years her junior who was already taking care of her own flesh and blood. How weird life liked to move, Mina absentmindedly thought as Jihyo continued to ramble.

“I mean, we’re living in a one bed-one bath and I basically live in the living room, so I have no idea how that’s working out for you.”

”We live in a two bed-one bath,” Mina explained.

Jihyo looked suspicious, as if trying to search for the right words, “So like…are like Sana and Momo dating? No wait, Momo said she was unsure about herself, which makes a lot of sense because she just kind of gives off the essence of not straight—” Ah yes, the words that had certainly thrown Mina for a loop, “So then…are you and Sana dating? Or is Momo like…confused because you guys are together or—”

“None of us are dating,” Mina blushed, feeling even more embarrassed having this conversation with a 17 year old, “But they share a room because they’ve known each other much longer than they’ve known me. It felt more fitting.”

“So…you just have your own room?” Jihyo sounded appalled, “How’d you even manage that?”

“I don’t know,” Mina smiled, “They just gave it to me.”

“You’re fucking magical,” Jihyo had a mouth on her, but Mina found it to be quite endearing rather than vulgar.

“Maybe I could show you around it soon,” Mina offered kindly, smiling to see Jihyo perk up.

“Y-yeah! Yeah…I’d uhm…I’d like that,” Jihyo immediately agreed, “That’d be cool or whatever. Chill. We’re chill here, right Yunjinnie?” Yunjin only stuck Jihyo’s finger into her mouth, drool already gathering down her chin.

“Jesus, you’re a mess—” Jihyo whispered to Yunjin as if having a serious conversation, “Clean yourself up dude.” She took Yunjin’s bib, wiping away the saliva as Yunjin still held onto her finger. Yunjin suddenly burst into a babble, speaking gibberish that Mina couldn’t help but giggle at.

March 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:19 PM

Sana waited by the bus stop nearby the university, given that syllabus week was starting, she had no reason to actually be on campus than to look around and find her classes, which she successfully did. Did she lose her way at one point and somehow circle the entirety of the campus trying to find the computer lab? Definitely. Did it end up being just right next door from her original starting point? Absolutely. But at least Sana took the scenic way. Sana preferred to think positive in these situations.

She was surprised to see a light blue car suddenly drive up, pulling where the bus would usually park, screeching to a stop in front of her. The driver’s window slowly rolled down, Sana tilted her head curiously to see none other than Nayeon staring at her with an exasperated expression.

“Sana?” She questioned, “Why are you at the bus stop?”

“…Nayeon?” Sana asked unsurely, “Isn’t it illegal for cars to be in bus stops?”

Nayeon rolled her eyes, motioning to Sana to go over, “Just get in the car.”

Sana complied, hurriedly getting into the passenger’s side and closing the door behind her, buckling up as Nayeon began to drive off. “You could just ask for a ride,” Nayeon sounded like a reprimanding mother and Sana shrank back slightly, “We literally live next to each other.” Her tone sort of reminded Sana of her own mother, gently scolding.

“I didn’t want to over do it,” Sana insisted, “I mean yeah we’ve been in contact for half a year but I just met you like a week ago.”

“Five days, actually,” Nayeon corrected.

“Five days,” Sana corrected herself, “I’ve known you in real life for five days. Doesn’t exactly seem very polite to ask for rides.”

“Oh please,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, “Your peachy chef friend literally saved my partner’s life. I think I can afford a bit more weight in my car.”

“That’s Momo’s thing,” Sana shook her head, “All I did was figure out you were gay and call it out loud.”

“A pretty impressive use of context clues regardless,” Nayeon complimented, “I mean, I knew it too. I told Jeongyeon and Jihyo and they didn’t get it. But I swear, you were basically telling me to my face—”

“I know right?!” Sana exclaimed, “I’m actually embarrassed by the sheer boldness of it all.”

Nayeon studied her carefully from a side glance, “Your Korean is more than just proficient, by the way.”

“I learned it when I was seven,” Sana admitted shyly, feeling a bit flustered from the compliments. Nayeon gave a low whistle of impressment.

“Seven, huh?” Nayeon questioned, “So you’re a polyglot then, I assume?”

“I am,” Sana confirmed, “How many do you speak?”

“Well,” Nayeon held out a hand, holding up a finger per word, “There’s Korean, obviously. Japanese—I learned Mandarin—both the homeland and Taiwan forms. English and Spanish.”

“Those are the ones I know,” Sana grinned, “Wow! Mina only knows four languages but its still quite impressive. I just can’t get her on board with learning Spanish because she keeps saying her brain doesn’t have the room to fit that much in there. I think that’s impossible but I am just now reading more into the concept of short-term working memory so maybe its not entirely impossible—”

“She sounds intelligent,” Nayeon complimented, “At only almost 21?”

“She’s from America,” Sana bragged, “She was in an accelerated program and graduated at 16. Then she came to Japan for higher education, she majored in atmospheric science and broadcast systems.”

“Science and broadcasting,” Nayeon mumbled for a moment before perking up, “A weather woman,” Nayeon snapped her fingers, “She wants to be a weather woman.”

“She is already a weather woman, actually,” Sana felt even more prideful, “She’s going to be on the 5 AM to 7 AM weather slots. She starts soon, she hasn’t been bringing it up because I think she’s shy to. Ironically…you would think she’d be telling everyone, but she’s mostly in it for the weather. She just really likes the weather. I mean…she’s drop dead stunning as is which only helps her even more…people love to see her on screen.”

“You have very impressive people in your life,” Nayeon seemed to be pleasantly surprised, “That’s good. To already have a community.”

“I mean,” Sana frowned, “I wouldn’t say community as much as home…they’re all I have. I mean…I have my parents but I never planned on staying with them forever. And we’re in such a new place, they’re all I feel like I can cling to.”

“Well,” Nayeon shrugged, “You have me now, too.”

“Really?” Sana didn’t want to sound like she was in disbelief but she wasn’t great at hiding her true feelings and she really was feeling doubtful.

“Of course,” Nayeon snorted, “I put in work to help you get here—you did the brunt of it, of course. You’re young, in a new place, and you’re very kind. A young gay woman in the academic space? I wish I had someone with me when I did it. So…you have me now. In and out of university. Don’t be afraid to take advantage of that.”

Sana smiled, feeling her heart start to feel a bit more reassured, “…I have a question.”

“Jihyo?” Nayeon questioned knowingly, “I think I know where this is heading.”

“You’re not related to her,” Sana pointed out, “How did you meet her…?”

“Ah,” Nayeon seemed conflicted, “Its complicated. I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say since its not much my business to air out…but she found us when she really needed it. Young and expelled.”

“Expelled?” Sana was a bit surprised, “She’s not in school?”

“Hasn’t been since August of ‘93,” Nayeon nodded, “Before she met us, of course.”

“And she has…” Sana was choosing her words very carefully, “Two babies?”

“Yup.”

“And from what she said, the dad’s not in the picture.”

“He doesn’t even know,” Nayeon admitted, “He moved shortly after everything with them happened.”

“Oh,” Sana frowned, “I can see its a very complex situation. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but by the looks of it, she seems to be doing very well.”

“You think so?” Nayeon questioned.

“Very,” Sana agreed, “She’s quite social, maybe not great social skills…but I can’t blame her because I’m not good at that either. Her babies are healthy and making pretty typical milestones for their ages. She, herself, looks healthy, her eyes shine and she looks at you like you’ve built that home from the ground up.”

“I guess we all kind of did,” Nayeon considered, “Built it up. Our own little community.”

“Yeah,” Sana smiled, “With lesbian farmers…?”

“And the gay musician,” Nayeon snorted, “And the gay hairstylist. And the bisexual nurse, and the two straight doctors and a 14 year old boy.”

“The bisexual nurse must be Sakura then,” Sana completed a bit of the puzzle. Nayeon only chuckled, shaking her head lightly as they fell into a comfortable silence.

“She seems loved,” Sana smiled, “And whatever the situation is…it seems you guys did what you had to. I won’t push it.”

“Just…” Nayeon bit her lip unsurely, as if searching for the words she wanted to use, “…Don’t judge her too harshly…okay?”

“I wouldn’t,” Sana reassured.

“I mean, I want to trust it,” Nayeon sighed, “I do. But I just need to make it a point—I know it seems strange. An expelled kid—not even 18, with twins. No father in the picture, no biological family. Everything that the world wants to pick at—but she’s amazing, you know?”

“She seems like it.”

“She really is,” Nayeon tightened her grip on the steering wheel, “Jihyo is everything to me. That—she…she’s like my kid, you know? That’s my kid, Jihyo. I love her more she’ll ever know, I’m pretty sure I make it pretty apparent as is. Just…be nice to her, okay? Please? Because the moment you hurt her, you hurt me—and then I’d have no other choice than to actually kill you with my bare hands.”

“Relax,” Sana giggled, “I want to have friends—I don’t think offending their kids is going to be a good look.”

“Good,” Nayeon relaxed a bit more, “Keep it that way, please.”

“So about this car pooling thing—”

“I’ll drive you Sana,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, bringing the car to a stop in the parking garage, in her designated spot, “Don’t sweat it. Be ready by 9 AM—my last class is at 4 PM.”

March 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:28 PM

“Momo?” Jeongyeon’s tone was a bit surprised but not upset, which Momo took as a win in her books. “Did you just get off work?”

“What gave it away?” Momo joked, still wearing her white shirt uniform, a gray scarf still tied around her neck. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, as per uniform requirement, she wore a black bandana to keep her bangs pulled away.

“The smell,” Jeongyeon joked, leaning against the doorframe. Momo could see Jihyo on the floor, changing one of her babies’ diapers, the other sucking on their bib. Nayeon was on the sofa, blanket around her lap as she stared to a book she seemed to be immersed in.

“Yeah, you smell like vinegar,” Jihyo called out from inside, “I can smell it from here.” She gazed out the door once more, curiously, “…Is Mina with you?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Momo shook her head, “My bad. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Lame,” Jihyo tsked.

“Ignore her,” Jeongyeon shook her head, chuckling, “What brings you here?”

“Um,” Momo fiddled with the plastic bag, “Well…I just had some stuff I wanted to drop off.”

“Oh?” Jeongyeon tilted her head curiously, “Like what?”

“Well,” Momo was growing nervous, “You see…the apprenticeship I’m in—it specializes in Asian cuisine. In Japan, I learned Japanese fine dining—now I’m learning that plus a bit of Korean fusion cuisine, which takes a lot of inspiration from Japan and Chinese recipes.”

“Sick,” Jeongyeon nodded, “I love a good fusion dish.”

“Well…” Momo offered the bag, “Here.”

Jeongyeon’s face didn’t reveal too much, just a slight curiosity as she took the bag cautiously. “What’s in here?” She questioned.

“Sushi,” Momo blushed, “Traditional nigiri, specifically, with a yuzu kosho sauce…homemade. The sauce is from me, I fermented it but the restaurant I work at serves sushi so yeah….there’s also some black bean noodles—”

“Holy shit,” Jeongyeon had opened the container, “This smells heavenly—”

“Maybe you’re not that lame—” Jihyo called out from the living room once more, “You smell bad but the food smells great from here.” Momo took this as a win in her books once again.

“Um, I just wanted to bring something by as a gift,” Momo blushed, “I like to cook so this isn’t like…a big issue. I’m next door…if you need supplies…or like…”

“Thank you,” Jeongyeon said gratefully, also saving Momo from having to further strain herself by forcing herself to speak, “Really, Momo, you already saved my life. You don’t have to do anything else for the rest of it if you wanted to.”

“Well I’m just being neighborly,” Momo insisted, “I mean, you guys are our neighbors. Sana is loud, I have to warn you. Mina likes to play on that Nintendo of hers, so you might hear yelling occasionally.”

“We have two babies and a Jihyo,” Jeongyeon snorted, “If anything, its good luck to you guys.”

“Hey—” Jihyo interrupted, “Taehyun is chill. Don’t drag him into this. He doesn’t cry at night because he sleeps. Yunjin though…yeah sorry, she gets it from me, I think.”

“If you ever need anything,” Jeongyeon added, “Just ask. Our door is always open.”

“Ours is too,” Momo insisted, “If you ever need help with like…whatever it is you do? Or if Jihyo needs help—”

“I will keep that in mind,” Jihyo gave a thumbs up, eyes still glued to her babies, “Genuinely.”

“Good,” Momo smiled, seeing how Nayeon was still absorbed in her book, it made her smile, reminding her of how Sana got when she was focused on something of her interest—it was like nothing could get through to her. “You guys have a good night.”

“You too,” Jeongyeon smiled, patting Momo’s shoulder again, “Get some rest. You look beat.”

Momo waved them off, walking just a few more feet to her own apartment door, using her newly pressed key and unlocking it, pushing the door open with a heave.

Momo shut the apartment door behind her, letting out an exhausted sigh. Sana and Mina had taken to relaxing on the couch, both already in their casual clothing, watching Momo carefully.

“Rough first day?” Mina questioned.

“Definitely,” Momo groaned, flopping onto the couch, laying across them, head on Sana’s lap. Neither protested against it, simply adjusting to let Momo have more room. “I’m going to have to do so much shit, its crazy.” Her apprenticeship already had begun full force, while Mina simply had her orientation week and Sana was on syllabus only schedule. Meanwhile, Momo was already diving headfirst into her restaurant—which involved a lot more yelling than you’d expect.

“You smell like sesame oil and vinegar,” Sana scrunched her nose, letting her fingers run through Momo’s hair, taking it out from her ponytail, “You need a shower.”

“Did you cut yourself already?” Mina had taken one of her hands, studying the bandage on her thumb, Momo blushed.

“Its fast paced,” She weakly protested, “I was in a rush and got pushed.”

“Are you going to survive?” Sana teased, but Momo didn’t argue because Sana’s fingers felt very comforting in her tangled hair. She simply pouted as a response, which she felt like might have been about 46% of her communication skills. It was fine, Sana knew it like another language and Mina was a quick learner.

“She’ll be fine,” Mina massaged the palm of Momo’s injured hand, “Its Momoring. She just needs some time to adjust.” Mina said everything so surely, it made Momo feel like maybe she did have a grip on this and wasn’t going to fall flat on her face.

“I know,” Sana agreed, “She’s always got this.”

“Thanks,” Momo sighed, letting her eyes flutter shut for a moment, “I needed to hear that. I know its not even my first apprenticeship, but my first one was way more about learning about patience than this one.”

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Mina gently encouraged, “But I think, right now, yeah…you kind of need a shower.”

“I get it,” Momo pouted yet again, “I smell.”

“You do,” Sana agreed, patting Mina’s thigh carefully, “Why don’t you start the water for her at least?”

Mina nodded, letting go of Momo’s hand and going to start the shower head. Momo opened her eyes, looking to Sana tiredly. Sana looked back down to her, eyes full of warmth like always. That would be a weird thing to point out, wouldn’t it? Momo was thinking to herself, weighing whether or not it would be okay to mention that Sana’s eyes looked especially shiny in this dim apartment lighting. Momo’s head begun to spin. Nah, it wasn’t worth diving into right now, but the thought remained.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sana had a small smile over her face, “You look actually beat. Like worse than usual.”

“The chef is strict,” Momo admitted, “There’s a lot of yelling and pressure. I get that’s how its going to be, but fuck…”

“Oh I can imagine,” Sana agreed, using both hands to brush through Momo’s hair, “That’s gonna be rough.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Momo insisted, “Or at least it better be.”

“It will,” Sana agreed as Mina came back out, Momo could hear the water distantly running.

“…I don’t want to get up,” Momo protested.

“Go,” Sana urged, patting Momo’s shoulder softly. Because Sana was always soft with Momo, “You actually smell worse than sesame oil. I was just being nice.”

“Whatever,” Momo pouted, dragging herself up and trudging to the wet room, feeling the warmth of the water already begin to open her pores, shutting the door behind her.

March 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:42 PM

“Poor Momoring,” Mina frowned, flopping back onto the sofa, where Sana leaned into her. Mina threw her arm around her, leaning off to the side, so they were laying with each other.

“She’s got this,” Sana spoke firmly, “Its just always rough in the beginning.”

“I get it,” Mina agreed, smelling Sana’s strawberry scented shampoo nearby with her perfume, cherry with a hint of smoke. Maybe it was an academic thing to smell like tobacco, because Nayeon carried a similar faint scent. The workload would make most people crack, so really, Mina couldn’t blame either of them for it.

“…You were right, by the way,” Mina added and Sana only made a noise of confusion.

“About Nayeon,” Mina blushed, “She is sexy.”

“I told you!” Sana furiously nodded, turning around to they were face to face with one another, “She’s like, sexy, right?”

“Like, so sexy,” Mina agreed, “Maybe its because she’s an older woman. I’d love an older woman.”

“Even her long term relationship is sexy,” Sana whined, “Its so unfair—how can one person have it all?”

“Maybe the universe does have favorites,” Mina shook her head disappointedly, “I mean even her partner is attractive as hell. What’s up with that?”

“Jeongyeon?” Sana gasped, “She is stunning! Its insane! And she can ride a motorcycle?”

“Nayeon is beautiful,” Mina bit her lip, “Its unfair. I can’t even be shy about it in peace because her girlfriend is just as sexy. But Nayeon—damn,” Mina wondered how badly she was blushing in this moment, “Her hands?”

“Don’t even get me started on that,” Sana groaned, “I desperately need to go back to the bars. I miss my casual hookups. I feel like I’m going cold turkey.”

“Poor you,” Mina rolled her eyes, brushing a piece of hair that was stuck to Sana’s fresh lip-balm tinted lips, “To be able to get a hook up that quick.”

“Well you could, too,” Sana argued, “You just panic too much.”

“I can’t help it,” Mina wanted to crawl into a hole and die or something as drastic as that, “I just can’t get past the casual flirting part of hook ups.”

“Be real…have you ever gone all the way?”

Sana was never one to shy from these topics, of course, when Mina was 16 this was hardly a thing to broach. Then, when she was 18 and barely learning what it meant to be an openly gay woman, she was a lot tamer with the questions. Sana never pushed, she was a great active listening ear for Mina to figure these things out. Sana had more experience than her, a few relationships here and there—one really tumultuous one that neither Sana nor Momo ever really enjoyed talking about—and a lot of hookup experience.

Now that Mina was older, Sana was much more bold in these questions. First, it was trivial things like Mina’s type, Mina supposed she didn’t really have a type as much as she preferred older women. Then it was questions about preference—body types, perfumes or colognes, if she ever kissed any other women. And then it just kept snowballing, Sana asking curious questions that Mina would otherwise not really talk about due to her own shyness.

“Um,” Mina could feel the way her face was burning, “I-I mean…”

“Its a yes or no question,” Sana pointed out, “There’s literally no gray area in this.”

“Well…then no, actually—-”

“What?!” Sana’s voice screeched from the sheer surprise, blinking a few times as she studied Mina. “Seriously? Like…really?”

“…Yes?” Mina answered nervously, feeling entirely self-conscious and feeling how warm her face was beginning to feel.

“You’ve never—” Sana’s voice went quieter, as if she realized this might not be something to announce so loudly, “…You’ve never had sex with any woman?”

“Sana—” Mina sighed, “When would I have had the time to? I spend all my free time with you and Momo.”

“I mean,” Sana sputtered, “I-I don’t know, between classes, in a bathroom stall? Maybe in a classroom that’s empty after hours? In the restroom at the bars and clubs? Somewhere? Anywhere?”

Mina’s mind was reeling, “Why would I—are these places you’ve had sex, Sana?”

“Perhaps?”

“I don’t have the nerve for that!” Mina admitted, “I get nervous. I mean—I get brave, I get brave and I love flirting but then the possibility is there and I-I don’t know I just can’t take it. I can’t. I don’t know why.”

“This is clearly news to me,” Sana scoffed, “I’m surprised, really.”

“Surprised?” Mina blinked in disbelief, “Sana, I’m a shut in.”

“Well, yes,” Sana considered, “But a really beautiful shut in. A very, very, very gorgeous shut in with a hot body, I would’ve thought women would be begging to eat—”

“You need to get laid, bad,” Mina covered her face with her free hand, hoping to hide her burning, “You’re getting carried away.”

“I mean, yes, I need to get laid,” Sana rolled her eyes, “But I’m just stating facts!”

“Satang…” Mina wanted to scream into oblivion, “I’m a virgin, okay? Don’t be surprised at this…I don’t do anything that would let me actually go all the way with a woman.”

“Do you want me to help you get a hook up?” Sana offered, “I’m sure there’s plenty of gay women here who would literally fight to the death for the chance to—”

“Its okay,” Mina interrupted, “I…I don’t know? I think I would like for my first time to be with someone I’ve been with for a bit, or at least someone I’m really familiar and comfortable with.”

“Oh,” Sana’s eyes grew distracted, “You find sex to be tied to a specific form of intimacy that involves comfortability and reassurance?”

“Well, yes,” Mina whispered, still nearly nose to nose with Sana, “I want to think so, yes.”

“I…” Sana trailed off, “I don’t think that, typically.”

“I know,” Mina nodded, taking Sana’s hand into her and lacing their fingers together, “Is there a reason for that?”

“Eh,” Sana looked a bit conflicted, as if arguing with her own brain, “Just…things. I don’t know. You know how its been. I like sex, in a way that involves pleasure. I don’t mind hookups, I do what I want and then I leave and don’t have to face it.”

“So…” Mina thought for a moment, “You and I both have intimacy issues…in different ways.”

“Yes,” Sana agreed, wholeheartedly, “It seems we do.”

“So we both have things to work on,” Mina contemplated.

“I guess so,” Sana agreed, “But we both need to get laid, at some point.”

Mina chuckled, Sana brought their laced hands close to her chest, staring down curiously.

“…What the hell are we doing wrong?” Sana whined, “Tell me Minari—what are we doing that’s stopping beautiful sexy women from coming to us?”

“Well, again, I’m a shut in and you’re too involved in your studies,” Mina pointed out, giving Sana a sympathetic pat on her head, “Also we only spend our time with each other. Doesn’t exactly scream, hey look at me, I’m single, you know?”

Sana only pouted, Mina giggled at Sana’s defiance, reaching over and tapping her nose with her finger gently. “But its okay,” Mina insisted, “I like spending my time with you and Momo. I don’t know how I could add a relationship into the loop of all of this, you know?”

“Whoever dates Momo is going to be one lucky son of a bitch,” Sana pointed out, because Momo always somehow got looped into these conversations whether she was even present or not. Mina didn’t really mind though, because Sana had a really good point anyway. “Momo is literally like a hyacinth.”

“Hyacinth?” Mina tilted her head curiously, “I’m not that involved in botany like you are, so?”

“Well,” Sana scrunched her face a bit, “Like…they bloom early spring. They start to bud still in the winter. That’s like Momo, you know? Incredibly resilient, even in the harshest of conditions. That’s literally her.”

“I see it,” Mina agreed quietly, because Momo’s childhood wasn’t a topic she preferred to talk about, but Sana always spoke about Momo like she was the grandest thing in her life. It was endearing, really, Mina found it incredibly endearing just how well they meshed together. Its not like you could think of one without thinking of the other. “Are hyacinths beautiful, too?”

“Yeah,” Sana sighed out, relaxing a bit more, “Some of the most beautiful. Like her, right?”

“Yeah,” Mina agreed, “Like her.”

Mina hummed, letting Sana stretch and wrap her leg around her, yawning loudly, “I’m more than happy to have you and Momoring in my life,” Sana added sleepily, letting her eyes close, “It would suck without you guys.”

“It really would,” Mina agreed. She watched Sana close her eyes tiredly, “You tired already?”

“Mhm,” Sana pouted, “School is going to kill me,” She smirked slightly, “…At least I have a hot older lesbian to keep me company.”

“Lucky,” Mina rolled her eyes, but still watched as Sana relaxed by her, running her hand through Sana’s hair to help her. Her breathing grew steadier, a light whistle coming from her nostrils, Mina bit back a laugh.

She heard the door open nearby just moments later, seeing Momo’s figure pressed through the towel as it clung to her waist, her hair dripping as she held another towel to her hair. Mina gave a joking low whistle, making Momo cringe.

“Stop,” Momo whined, going red in the cheeks but not even bothering to hide away, “I’m literally bare faced.”

“Make-up has never been a needed think in this household,” Mina teased lightly, “Not with a face like that.”

Momo only rolled her eyes, but she could see the small smile tugging at her lips, “Don’t come in until I’m done!” Mina heard the door close again, giggling to herself at Momo’s embarrassment. Years into their friendship, and Momo still got shy at compliments. Truth be told, Mina wasn’t entirely sure Momo actually was fully straight, birds of a feather stick together, that was the saying Sana always used teasingly. But Momo would only go red in the face, giving Sana a light shove and neither of them ever really pushed it any further than that. But Mina always kind of wondered what exactly was going on through Momo’s head with all of this. She never told them to stop, even when Mina mentioned that if it did make her uncomfortable just to say something, but Momo never did. Almost like she kind of enjoyed the attention, and maybe that’s all it really was.

She never argued against it, but she always never liked to talk about it. It was a bit weird, but well, Mina was a bit chaotic herself so it really wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“You missed Momo in her towel,” Mina nudged Sana slightly, who stirred and cracked an eye open.

“Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“Do you hate me or something, is this what this is Mina?”

Chapter Text

March 8th, 1995. Approximate time, 3:03 AM

Momo had noticed Mina liked to keep her time as balanced as possible.

If evenings were for letting Sana use her as a cuddle buddy, mornings were the time Mina spent basking in the pure silence with Momo. This was starting to be the routine it appeared, because Momo had a hard time sleeping and also had to get to the restaurant two hours before opening, meaning she needed to show up at 6 AM, and she usually liked having time to make something to eat—so really, Mina and Momo were constantly sleep deprived, it was kind of very bad.

But still, Momo was already in the kitchen, waiting for the rice to finish cooking as she stirred the egg in the pan briskly, entirely focused on making sure she kept the consistency fluid.

“Morning,” Mina yawned out, Momo could feel the way her head tapped onto Momo’s back for a moment, before going over to the coffee machine, starting a pot while sitting on the island countertop.

“Hey,” Momo greeted, still stirring her egg, “Hungry?”

“For your food, always,” Mina tiredly replied, “I don’t know how you have so much energy right now, its 3 AM.”

“Its sheer spite,” Momo joked, taking the pan off the heat and flipping her egg gently, “Get the rice will you, Minari?”

She heard the screech of the stool, along with Mina’s light footsteps, waiting a few moments before Mina held out a plate with perfectly round shaped fried rice—which Momo had made last night in preparation. She gently scooped the omurice from the pan, layering it onto the rice with the upmost care.

“And now,” Momo grabbed the ketchup from the counter, as Mina set the plate down. She grabbed the cutting board as well, sprinkling the green onion and drizzling a zigzag design of the ketchup, “The finale.” Gently, she sliced the knife through the omurice, watching as the sides slid down without much resistance, feeling proud to see the consistency looking nearly perfect.

Mina clapped quietly, feigning a crowd cheering even if it was just a whisper, “Chef Momo does it again,” She cheered, “it looks delicious, as usual.”

“I hope it tastes just as good,” Momo blushed, handing Mina a spoon. They both grabbed a piece, clicking their utensils together, “And cheers,” Momo added, “In honor of your first day to be on the air.”

“Thank you,” Mina leaned her head onto Momo shoulder affectionately, nuzzling her slightly, “You didn’t have to do anything.”

“And miss out?” Momo feigned hurt, “How dare you think I wouldn’t find any way to celebrate you.”

“You’re too nice,” Mina insisted, already taking a bite and giving a slight moan of satisfaction. It was kind of a habit she had developed, but Momo was immediately way too frazzled to point it out the first time it happened, so at this point all she could really do was ignore the way her ears burned. “Holy shit this tastes even better than the last one you made.”

“I practice,” Momo shrugged, “What can I say?”

They continued to eat in silence, Mina enjoying Momo’s food and Momo enjoying Mina enjoying her food. Mina was a great supporter, she’d willingly eat anything Momo made, with about a 99% success rate.

“Sana’s still asleep?” Mina questioned, stretching her arms.

“Duh,” Momo snorted, “The only way she’d be up at this time is if she hadn’t slept at all.”

Mina giggled at the sentiment, finishing her side of the dish and going to grab cups, filling them with coffee, leaving hers black but adding creamer and a hearty scoop of sugar to the other one, giving it a quick stir with a stir stick as Momo finished her own food and rinsed the plate off.

“Here,” Mina offered the sickeningly sweet coffee to Momo, who took it gratefully because even though she needed the caffeine she absolutely could not handle the bitterness of it.

“Cheers,” Mina repeated, letting their Styrofoam cups tap together before taking a long sip of her, Momo watched as Mina’s neck tensed at the warmth but she drank it regardless, while Momo blew onto hers for a bit to cool it down more.

“You’re crazy,” Momo chuckled quietly, whispering so as to not disrupt Sana’s sleep, “You’re going to burn yourself.”

“Its best when its burning,” Mina took another sip, “You just don’t get it.”

“Really, I don’t,” Momo smiled before taking her own sip, while Mina watched her carefully.

“What’re you looking at?” Momo teased.

“Your face,” Mina bluntly admitted, yawning again, “Even when you just woke up, its always nice to look at.”

“Stop,” Momo felt her cheeks burn, certainly not from her lukewarm half coffee half sweetener concoction.

Mina hummed, rolling her eyes, leaning against the countertop, “Do you actually want me to stop?”

Momo pouted slightly, feeling so interested in cleaning her pan as well, letting the water rinse over the contents, “I mean—”

“Like honestly,” Mina added, “I just want to make sure I’m not actually making you uncomfortable.”

“You’re too nice,” Momo rolled her eyes, “Guys love when I say that. Apparently to them it means keep it going.”

“Is that what you want it to mean, too?” Mina questioned.

Momo thought for a moment, really trying to think exactly what she meant by that. There was truth to her word—men always kept the compliments coming when she put up a bit of a fight, she figured its because they enjoyed having a sort of challenge in it, the thrill of the hunt or something trivial like that. Momo said it because she knew its what they wanted, and because maybe she did enjoy having the attention all on her, and the way she held the ability to decide whether or not they could keep going.

“I like being complimented,” She simply shrugged, taking another sip of her coffee, “It makes me feel good.”

“So…you like it?” Mina questioned. There was a particular look to Mina’s eyes that Momo always enjoyed. Like you could always just watch her without growing bored because of the uniquity of her features, she reminded Momo of some sort of surreal painting.

“I do,” Momo agreed, “I say stop because I like knowing they feel challenged to do more. Its flirtatious.”

“Sooo, we’re flirting…?” Mina raised a brow, giving a small teasing smirk while Momo scoffed, turning her attention to her nearly finished cup.

“I mean…” She felt her cheeks burn, before Mina placed a soft hand to her arm, rubbing reassuringly.

“Kidding—” Mina winked, “But okay. I get it. Keep the flirting, that’ll be easy.”

It was always so easy with Mina, Momo couldn’t help but think as Mina threw her empty cup away, running a hand through her long hair, brushing it out of her face. For as feminine as Mina dressed for work, Her casual clothes were quite sporty. Her pajamas always consisted of oversized t-shirts that nearly reached her knees and basketball shorts that went past her knees. Momo found it to be a secret magical power to somehow make clothes like that look appealing, but she supposed that’s just how Mina was.

“I better get ready,” Mina checked the time, “See you later Momoring,” She gave Momo one more hug, a real one this time, where she wrapped her arms around Momo’s waist since she was the shorter one, and Momo let her arms squeeze Mina’s shoulders as she could smell the faint smell of Mina. Mina smelled velvety, to Momo’s professional nose, that consisted of lemon zest, but buried in there was a refreshing smell of sandalwood. An inherently manly smell, but Mina wore colognes like it was her second skin, Momo kind of loved it. It felt so wholly Mina—she wouldn’t want it any other way.

“Good luck,” Momo told Mina before they pulled away, watching as Mina made her way back to her room to get dressed.

March 8th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:47 AM

Sana would drag herself out of bed by 4:47, which was an actual living miracle.

“Morning,” Momo greeted once again, watching Sana stretch and yawn, the t-shirt she wore riding up slightly so Momo could see her thin stomach.

“Shush,” Sana whispered, running a hand through her hair and groaning, “There’s literally no reason for you to be yelling right now.”

“I’m not,” Momo chuckled but tried to speak as quiet as she could, “…Are you hungry?”

“I don’t even think my stomach is functioning at this hour,” Sana rubbed her face, sitting on the stool, “But I’ll eat anyway, I know I need to.” Momo could tell Sana must have been exhausted considering she didn’t bother correcting her own misinformed statement. Momo knew stomachs never actually stopped functioning like that—but Sana liked to just say facts for fun.

“Got it,” Momo nodded, plating Sana’s food—Mina was an omurice woman, maybe because of her strong preference for ketchup—Sana liked things fresher, so Momo settled on veggies, white rice, and two soft boiled eggs, promptly plating everything after she removed the eggshells.

She slid the bowl to Sana, who stared at it as if not quite processing what she was looking at for a second. Her lashes obscured a bit of her eyes, but Momo could see the sleepy glaze over them.

“You good there?” Momo questioned, going to stand next to Sana, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m not meant to be awake at this hour,” Sana yawned again, leaning into Momo’s touch, wrapping her arm around her waist, “I’m not mentally even aware of anything right now.”

“You need to wake up,” Momo chuckled, “Mina’s on in less than fifteen minutes.”

“I know, I know,” Sana groaned, “…Did you know she’s a virgin?”

Momo wasn’t expecting this kind of conversation at this hour. “Um,” She blinked a few times, trying to process Sana’s words, “I-I mean…No, I didn’t know—”

“I didn’t know either,” Sana nodded, “That’s kind of insane to think about, right?”

“Well,” Momo thought for a moment, “I mean she is pretty reserved.”

“Yeah but she’s beautiful,” Sana scoffed as if it was plain fact, but in this case, it kind of was, “Like…drop dead gorgeous. How would Mina not want to go for it?”

“You know,” Momo considered, “When you put it that way, yeah, its a bit weird to think about. Especially since she’s pretty bold when it comes to flirting.”

“Exactly,” Sana nodded in agreement, waking up a bit more, “All bark no bite it seems.”

“Why did this even become a topic of conversation?” Momo shook her head, “I swear, you guys always end up on the weirdest things.”

“It can’t be helped,” Sana weakly argued, “It just happens. But, because we were talking about how bad we are with women. Well, I’m not bad, but I’m not great at relationships. Mina is bad at it. We were talking about how its unfair Nayeon can be intelligent, hot, sexy, and kind at the same time. Its unfair. And Jeongyeon is beautiful too? Unbelievable.”

“You guys need to get laid,” Momo rolled her eyes, “Badly.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” Sana agreed, slightly annoyed, “We need to go out again.”

Before either of them could continue, Sana’s watch beeped, Momo’s following right after. “C’mon,” Momo motioned for Sana to follow her, making their way to the sofa, sitting beside one another as Sana continued to eat her food, curling up to Momo’s side.

“She’s going to be on soon,” Sana sounded more eager, eyes glued to the screen, “I can’t believe it.”

“It feels surreal, right?” Momo shook her head, “I feel like its not real. I mean, I know it is…but wow.”

“She’s worked very hard,” Sana nodded, “Endlessly for like four years, too. I’m so proud of her.”

“Me too.”

“By the way—” Sana turned to Momo with a quizzical expression, “What did you mean by you think you’re straight?”

Momo felt her face burn, a bit thankful it was still pretty dark around them. “I mean, you would’ve faltered too if that kid was also looking at you the way she looked at me,” Momo argued, “It was like she knew something about me I didn’t even know.”

“I mean, I know you don’t prefer to broach this topic,” Sana pointed out softly, “But if there’s something you want to tell me, you know you can…right?”

“I don’t know,” Momo was quick to recover, feeling herself grow restless in this conversation, “I just don’t know—really. I’ve dated guys and kissed guys and well…had sex with them. I enjoy it.”

“But…?”

“Well, I just don’t know,” Momo shrugged, “Simple as that. I’ve never done anything with a woman, so I don’t know. So, I think I’m straight, but I don’t know.”

“Whatever you are,” Sana placed a hand to Momo’s knee, brushing her fingers up and down gently, “You know you can come talk to me about it, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Momo blushed, feeling her leg grow restless at the touch, heart thumping, but also enjoying her simple moments with Sana too much to move, “Now shush, its about to happen—”

They turned their attention to the television, Momo turning up the volume slightly, Sana still eating her food. She leaned into Momo, Momo threw her arm around her. Sana set her bowl onto Momo’s lap for a moment, reaching over and pulling a blanket up to cover them. Momo handed Sana her food back, they got comfortable. It felt like second nature, like they were moving in perfect sync. Momo had a lot of thoughts running through her head in this moment—the unfinished conversation Sana tried to start, her discussion with Mina about an hour ago, the way Sana just felt so comfortable to be next to her—

Her brain buzzed. Maybe she was looking too into it.

“Look!” Sana interrupted Momo’s musing, pointing excitedly as the introduction card for the hourly weather report popped up, right at 5 AM on the dot. The screen changed, Momo and Sana watched in awe as Mina’s face popped up onto the screen, her hair shiny and bouncing with a fresh blowout, wearing a gray blazer and a white button up, awaiting her cue.

“Good morning,” Her voice sounded like honey, even through a screen, “My name is Myoui Mina and I will be your newest hourly weather reporter in the morning. Stay tuned to learn more about me and get your latest on the hour weatherly updates as the days move from frigid winters to fresher springs.”

Momo couldn’t help but smile, watching Mina, and turning to watch Sana watch Mina. Her eyes were sparkling, Mom chuckled. “Are you crying?” Momo laughed, tightening her arm around Sana to pull her closer, bringing her into a hug, “Satang, why are you crying?”

“I’m just so proud of her,” Sana sniffled out, “She’s doing amazing—”

“With afternoon temperatures looking to stay in the high 50s for the next three days—” It was like second nature for Mina, she was certainly within her element. Referencing her cards and easily breezing her way through the current weather report, eyes shining because this was everything she ever wanted to do.

“I mean she’s worked up for this moment,” Momo chuckled, “Of course she’d do amazing.”

“She looks beautiful,” Sana watched the screen, her bowl finished and placed to the floor, curling into Momo, wrapping her arms around her waist, “I know she’d make it and do just fine doing it, but still…”

“Its weird to see, right?” Momo agreed.

“Surreal,” Sana added, “Its like…this is really happening. We’re all here, together, in a new country. We have our own apartment, you’re working in your second apprenticeship. I’m already running labs for undergrad students—I’m a sunbaenim, so as they say here. Mina is on the air. Its really changing, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Momo nodded, “Everything is happening so fast.”

Sana adjusted herself, curling into Momo, resting her head in the crook of her neck, sighing. Momo could feel the way Sana’s breath tickled her, she resisted the urge to twitch. She smelled of strawberry and cherry tobacco, it shouldn’t mix as well as it did but Momo supposed Sana was just able to pull off those kinds of things. Both her and Mina were kind of mythical like that, she supposed.

“Do you think we’re going to change too much?” Sana questioned lightly, after a few beats of pure silence, both their eyes glued to the weather report.

Momo kept her eyes on Mina, who was now reporting the air quality—it appeared Momo was going to need to take a mask with her, the pollen was going to increase, Momo had poor sinuses. She thought about Sana’s question, long and hard. She liked that Sana spoke her thoughts out loud, even if it put them in questionable situations, because Sana was always pretty much thinking the exact same thing Momo was—she just was less afraid to say it.

Momo had been thinking about that a lot, the way their routines changed but somehow stayed the same. Waking up early, seeing Mina, going to work, coming back, seeing Sana. She thought about how much more comfortable this routine felt after her breakup, how easy it was to fall into the loop of it.

“I would hope not,” Momo settled on, “I think whatever happens, we’re going to figure out a way to stay in each other’s lives.”

“Do you really think that?” Sana, the ever questioning. The one who was a bit doubtful, seeking reassurance in whatever way she could, which Momo had no issue giving her.

“I don’t just think,” Momo decided, “I know. At least, I know I’d do everything in my power. If you wanted me too, of course.”

“Momoring,” Sana whined, nuzzling her slightly, “You’re too kind to me sometimes.”

“Nah,” Momo shrugged, “I just like being with you.” I just love you, I guess, Momo’s internal thoughts clarified, but unlike Sana, Momo wasn’t one to say her thoughts like that out loud very often.

March 8th, 1995. Approximate time, 5:15 AM

“You did great!” Mina was thrown off to see Seonghwa standing behind the cameras, clapping slightly, “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“What are you doing here so early?” Mina grinned, “But thank you.”

“I wanted to see your first airing,” He smiled back, wearing a casual sweater and khaki slacks, his messenger bag still on him, his hair down and a bit flat, “Everyone deserves a congratulations after their first.”

“Also—” He took a step closer curiously, studying her face, “Your makeup is immaculate—who did it for you this morning?”

“Oh,” Mina flushed, “Um…his name is Yeosang, I believe.”

“I knew it,” Seonghwa smiled, “He’s my stylist as well. He’s very good at what he does.”

“He’s also oddly beautiful,” Mina pointed out, “Why isn’t he a reporter?”

“Right?” Seonghwa heartily agreed, “I’ve asked him, plenty. He prefers to just stay as a stylist. Face blessed by Aphrodite herself, I swear.”

“He was the one who suggested the blowout,” Mina bounced her hair with her hand slightly, “Its not a style I’ve used often, in Japan it was a lot of straightened hair and buns.”

“Its quite stunning on you,” Seonghwa complimented politely, “Yeosang definitely knows what he’s doing.”

“Well, thank you,” Mina smiled, “And I do appreciate you coming to give me a congratulations.”

“Of course,” He bowed a bit, “Anything to make a newcomer more comfortable. How much time do you have before your next airing?”

“Forty five minutes,” Mina checked her watch, “I need to go an modify some slides—the weather looks to be changing already so I need to make sure I add that in within the hour.”

“Then I’ll leave you be,” Seonghwa waved her off, “I need to get ready myself anyways.” He waved her off, walking to the direction Mina assumed his trailer was.

“You talk to Seonghwa?” A cameraman caught Mina’s attention, looking curious for an answer.

“Um…I guess so,” Mina shrugged, “He introduced himself to me, first.”

“Be careful,” He snorted, shining his lens, “He’s very desired in the studio.”

Huh?

“Desired?” Mina questioned, “What do you mean by that?”

The cameraman gave her a skeptical look, as if she should know exactly what he meant by the statement he had given her. “C’mon,” He shook his head condescendingly, “Don’t play dumb—You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Mina huffed, feeling her defenses rise, but reminding herself it was pointless to try to argue with someone she was needing to work with for quite a while. “Maybe its a bit different where I’m from,” She emphasized, “My old workplace didn’t have time for trivial issues.”

“Every woman in this studio wants to get with him,” the cameraman rolled his eyes, “He’s the most desirable bachelor we have here, he just got moved to the 8AM main news anchor, he worked his way from intern up. He’s handsome, he’s got a lot of admirers.”

He seemed polite enough, Mina could agree with that.

“And he’s talking to you,” The cameraman pointed to her for emphasis, “You’ve got to be careful with that—he’s certainly taken a liking to you.”

Mina frowned, feeling a strange sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach starting to appear. Not this again, she thought to herself and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, the last time this happened, Mina took matters into her own hands. Its a damn miracle she didn’t get fired, really, but its not like she ever really got caught. “I don’t think its like that,” She simply said, “I’m not interested in him like that regardless, but I doubt he’s interested in me like that.”

“Don’t try to lie either,” He rolled his eyes, “You’re both very good looking people in a desperate work environment. Eventually you’re going to sleep with him. Its how it works. Although, I’m unsure why so many women are after him—” He leaned in slightly, enough so that Mina took a bit of a step back, feeling like he was invading her personal space, “If you ask me, he’s a bit light on the loafers, if you catch my drift.”

“…I need to get back to work,” Mina stiffly said, turning her heels and briskly walking into the weather room, shutting the door behind her before he could get another word out.

March 8th, 1995. Approximate time, 11:54 AM

So that’s how its going to go, Mina thought silently to herself, trudging up the stairs tiredly, seeing it was about to be 12 PM. She was going to have to clarify to Seonghwa she wasn’t interested, just to be on the safe side. There was absolutely no way she was going to get half the studio to hate her within her first month—it didn’t work that way. It was weird though, it truly didn’t feel like Seonghwa had other intentions other than just being friendly, but Mina didn’t want to play that game of accidentally leading someone on, even if she felt like she wasn’t. She worked way too hard at her internship in Japan to let everything slip away from her so suddenly. She yawned, figuring Sana and Momo would both be off before an apartment door that definitely wasn’t hers swung open.

“I saw you!” Mina nearly screamed but was able to hold it together, jumping to see Jihyo’s head pop out from inside her apartment.

“Holy shit—” Mina gasped for breath, “You scared me, dude.”

“Sorry,” Jihyo didn’t sound the slightest bit guilty, “I saw you! On the news! Like six hours ago.”

“…You watched me?” Mina questioned.

“Duh,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “We all did, me, Nayeon-unnie, Jeongyeon-unnie, and even Yunjinnie and Taehyunnie, they like watching the news in the morning. It keeps them calm. Your voice was like a fucking magic spell, they were so calm—”

Mina blushed, feeling her heart swell, “I…I appreciate that very much, Jihyo.”

“Right Yunjin?” Jihyo held her baby out, her eyes huge as she stared to Mina for a moment. Mina gave her an awkward smile, unsure how to interact with a kid before Yunjin burst out into laughter. Jihyo beamed, holding her kid close again.

“She’s in a good mood,” Mina pointed out.

“I don’t know why,” Jihyo added, “Though she did just eat so that might explain it. Or maybe its because she saw your face— you’re cool like that. Or-or something of that matter. Anyways, I have to get back downstairs soon, see you later!” She waved, taking Yunjin with her. Mina figured Taehyun was spending time in a quieter environment with Jeongyeon, as Jihyo had mentioned before.

Mina entered into the now dark apartment, shutting the door behind her and yawning out loud, throwing off her blazer, before seeing a small gift box on the counter where she and Momo had eaten earlier. Slipping her heels off, stretching her legs, Mina carefully made her way to the gift box, a handwritten letter folded on top.

Taking the letter first, Mina opened it up, reading its contents.

“Minari!

Congratulations on your first airing! Can you believe you’ve finally made it? There’s only up from here on out! It was quite surreal to see you on the television, you looked as beautiful as ever, though that’s not a big surprise. I woke up just for you, that’s the real surprise, actually. I can’t promise I’ll watch every televising event, but I did promise you a while back I would never miss your milestones. Love you lots!!

Satang”

“Mina,

I think the omurice helped you, actually, I’m pretty sure that’s the reason. Also because you were going to nail this on the first try no matter what—but give me some credit. This was such a special moment, even Satang woke up for you. Though, you could always trust I was going to watch you, I could never look away. Love you lots.

Momoring”

Mina laughed at the letter, feeling a bit of unstable emotion as she held the small gift box, opening the top and seeing a shimmer in the minimal lighting. She reached in, feeling jewels as she pulled out a pristine pearl necklace, shining in iridescence from the sun’s glow through their balcony window. Mina gasped, hand over her mouth in shock, studying the pearls as carefully as she could. It was weighty, it felt just like the ones she wore when she still lived with her family, when they would go to attend Sunday services, like the ones her grandmother had owned. Each single pearl reflected the light in just a slightly different way than the one next to it, not one single pearl was exactly the same. The felt a bit gritty to the touch. They were real, Mina could feel it against her palm, the coolness of the jewels.

“No fucking way—” She whispered out, staring up to the pearls, unsure exactly what to do next, but feeling an incredibly overwhelming wave of emotion tiding over her. She could feel the tears prickle, the way her throat grew a bit tighter.

Pearls, she thought to herself, holding the necklace close to her chest, thinking if she let go they might just disappear.

March 8th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:27 PM

Momo’s body was exhausted, but she had an early night, which she was more than thankful for. She had opened the door to see the balcony door slightly open.

She could see a puff of smoke blowing the wind, smiling slightly to recognize the way Sana’s hair was clipped out, strands and pieces falling out to their own accord. Sana was showered, Momo noticed as she quietly leaned against the balcony door frame. Her hair was still wet in her clip, wearing a simple white camisole and satin pink pajama pants, Her towel was hanging on the railing, drying with the wind. She was sitting on one of their patio chairs, white with green and white pinstripes. She sat crisscross, barefoot, slippers tossed off nearby, book in her hand as she took another puff of smoke while reading the page carefully.

Momo smirked, continuing to watch Sana for just a moment longer, embracing the peacefulness of it all. It was so strange to see Sana so…comfortable. Of course, Momo knew they were beyond comfortable with one another, but they were always laughing. Always joking, always distracted with life events to never really just be one in the moment. When Mina came into the friendship, she was the reason they learned how to be comfortable in the silence, but even then, it was with Mina they usually did that. Never just by themselves—such as now, even if Sana was technically unaware of Momo behind her.

Momo knew Sana had an intelligence beyond anything she could ever really comprehend. She knew Sana had so many thoughts she couldn’t always verbalize properly, seven languages and some words still got lost in translation, that’s what Sana always said. It was like Sana was always drowning in her thoughts, her eyes always trying to express every single thought that was running through the nonstop tracks of her mind. Momo even couldn’t keep up sometimes. So to see Sana in silence…it was kind of…

Beautiful?

“Home early?” Momo was jarred from her thoughts, focusing again and seeing Sana facing her with a small smile on her face, book still in between her fingers, her other hand still holding the cigarette.

“Yeah,” Momo smiled, making her way outside and sitting beside Sana, “Thank god.”

“How’d it go today?” Sana asked carefully, handing her book over to Momo. Momo took it without question, grabbing the bookmark off the patio table they had, placing it to the page Sana had the book marked on.

“Busy,” Momo shrugged, leaning into the chair as Sana opened her box of cigarettes, holding it out for Momo as an offering. Momo reached for one, grabbing the lighter off the table and lighting her cigarette quickly before the wind blew the flame out. She took a deep inhale, exhaling in relief as the smoke blew by.

“I can imagine,” Sana nodded understandingly, “Its barely the first week and I feel like I’m being bombarded with so much more workload. I have to admit, I’m glad Nayeon is nearby, I feel like I’m asking for more help than she was prepared for.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Momo shook her head, “She seems like the kind of person who enjoys guiding people.”

“I hope so,” Sana frowned, halfway through her cigarette, “Mina was asleep when I got home. Do you think she got our gift?”

“Is that why you’re so quiet?” Momo couldn’t help but smile slightly, “Because you’re nervous?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say nervous—” Sana stared down shyly at her empty hand, “But I just want to make sure she loves it, you know? I’d hate to have given her something she wouldn’t even like—”

“Minari is going to appreciate anything we give her,” Momo insisted, “Its Mina. And we know how important pearls are to her. We put meaning into it—I’m sure she loves it.”

“You could just ask Mina yourselves—”

Sana yelped, nearly dropping her cigarette but managing to keep it steady, as both her and Momo both whipped around, seeing Mina standing by the balcony door now. Momo stifled a laugh, seeing Mina with her hair disheveled, her eyes a bit puffy from sleepiness, wearing an oversized t-shirt from one of her favorite bands—The Blue Hearts. She was wearing shorts, the kind that were a bit hidden by her shirt, so Momo could only really see her pale legs in the moonlight, glowing nearly blue. It was so very obvious Mina was not fully awake at this moment, with how wide her eyes were as if trying to compensate.

“That works,” Momo agreed, motioning for Mina to come closer, and she complied without much protest, “Why don’t you ask her, Satang?”

“I—” Sana went red, becoming much more invested in her nearly completely finished cigarette, “I’m okay.”

“Satang~” Mina sang carefully, sitting in the same chair as Sana without saying anything, giving Sana no other choice than to scoot over so they could both fit, their legs pressing against each other, “You can ask me anything. You literally ask me the most embarrassing questions on any regular day.”

“Just…” Sana threw her cigarette butt to the ground, “I’m just curious about how you’re feeling…”

“Feeling?” Mina tilted her head, looking a bit teasing, “Well I feel sleepy. I just woke up, my ears were burning so bad I figured I knew exactly who was talking about me.”

Momo chuckled, watching Sana flounder for a second, “C’mon Sana,” Momo urged, “I know you want to ask, just do it.”

“How did you feel about the gift?” Sana finally asked, looking so uncharacteristically shy but Momo knew this was just wholly her—nervous and in need of reassurance, which neither Momo nor Mina ever had an issue helping her with.

“Well, I was surprised,” Mina started off, “Mostly because I have no idea how you two were able to purchase such an expensive pair—”

“I saved up,” Momo shrugged, “Picked up a few shifts here and there.”

“People would pay me to write their papers,” Sana shrugged.

“Well beside the point—you guys didn’t have to get me that necklace,” Mina looked borderline guilty, “I hate knowing you guys spent so much on me.”

“It wasn’t an issue!” Sana insisted, “We wanted to get it for you, consider it a celebratory gift and an early birthday gift—you were going to get a pair no matter what. You just got it a little earlier now.”

“We wanted to show you how proud we are of you,” Momo added, giving Mina a small smile, “Now, when you’re on the air—if you wear those pearls, you’re bringing us with you everywhere you go.”

“Everywhere I go…” Mina trailed off, placing a hand to her chest absentmindedly, reaching up to rub her neck, “You know, I haven’t put it on yet. Would…would you guys help me put it on? You know…to see if it fits?”

Mina’s skin looked pinkish in the moonlight, but Momo was also a bit tired and knew she always had a red blush to her cheeks from the exhaustion. “Of course!” Sana was more than ready to let herself be helped up by Mina’s hand, keeping their hands laced together. Momo watched both of them stand up, staring up as Mina and Sana stared down to her.

“Well?” Mina asked, holding her other hand out, right for Momo to see. Momo stared for a moment, feeling a weird blush crawl to her cheeks as she burnt out her cigarette on the ashtray, taking Mina’s hand and letting herself be led inside by the younger woman.

“Wait here,” Mina ordered them, hurrying off to her room for a moment.

“See?” Momo turned to Sana, “Nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Sana sighed, “I just can’t help it.”

“No one blames you,” Momo shrugged, placing a hand to Sana’s shoulder, “I think I’m pretty okay with spending however many days it takes until you feel confident enough again.”

“And if I don’t ever?” Sana’s tone was half-joking, halfway tonal in a way that let Momo know there was genuine doubt.

“Then…I guess I’ll just spend every single day reassuring you,” Momo shrugged, “No biggie. I always knew you were going to stay in my life, one way or another.”

Before Sana could respond, Mina came back, holding the pearl necklace in her hands, still staring at it with a specific awe that only Mina could encompass in her half-sleepy dazed state.

“Here,” She offered, holding the necklace out between Sana and Momo respectively.

“You do it,” Momo nudged Sana gently into her rib, while Sana looked to her unsurely. She knew Sana needed this more than she did. It was strange to say, but Momo never had a doubt Mina and Sana were going to stay in her life for well…as long as she lived. While Sana’s mind constantly doubted, Momo’s never did. She never doubted she was going to get an apprenticeship, she never doubted Sana was going to make it into graduate school, she never doubted Mina wouldn’t become a weather reporter. Momo was quite confident, she was quite sure in the things she needed to be sure in. In the things she didn’t know, yeah, she’d be a bit unsure in. But things that Momo felt she understood nearly perfectly, like Sana and Mina, there was never room to be doubtful.

And in fact, Momo actually really enjoyed seeing Sana and Mina happy with one another.

“Okay,” Sana finally caved, taking the necklace from Mina and carefully unclipping it, “…Why don’t you hold her hair then?”

“Oh,” Momo realized this would be perfect for them to both have a bit of a moment with their gift. Mina turned around, waiting patiently as Momo felt the tired ache in her hands, reaching up and taking Mina’s soft hair, lifting it up and brushing her fingers against Mina’s warm neck. She held the hair up, as Sana placed the necklace on Mina, her hands shaking slightly as she clipped it together, exhaling in relief as she pulled away.

Momo placed Mina’s hair back down, smoothing it out as Mina turned around, reaching up and brushing the pearls with her fingertips.

“So…?” She questioned, looking between them, “How does it look?”

“You look beautiful,” Sana complimented and every piece of her words sounded so wholeheartedly in awe as she looked to Mina with bright eyes. A smile growing across her lips, one of pure adoration, looking so much more reassured than she did moments ago, because Mina was staring right back to her, eyes glowing with just as much gratefulness.

“Yeah,” Momo agreed, trailing off as she stared at the curve of Mina’s collarbones, every piece of her neck tensing as she moved, the pearls glowing iridescence even in the night, “You look absolutely stunning.” Now where in the hell did that word come from?

Mina tilted her head to Momo’s compliment curiously, a small smirk forming on her lips, “Stunning…I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that one before,” She teased, “I guess the pearls were a really good investment.”

Momo scoffed, feeling the way Sana was watching her with pure entertainment, rolling her eyes to both of them. This was where things got confusing, when both their eyes were on her and Momo didn’t know where to look. When Momo could feel the way they wanted to tease her, and she could feel the way her ears were starting to heat up at the sheer pressure of being in the center of their attention.

“Thank you guys,” Mina decided to save Momo the trouble, voice full of honesty, “I can’t express to you all how much these mean to me.”

“We know how important they are to you,” Sana smiled.

“We just wanted to let you know you’re important…to like…us,” Momo added.

Mina reached over, throwing one arm over each woman, stretching to hook over their shoulders. Sana grinned, using her free arm to wrap around Mina’s waist. Momo took just a second longer, processing the way Mina smelled, the same hint of lemon. With just a touch of sandalwood—Momo felt herself relax as she carefully wrapped her arm around Mina’s waist as well, feeling the way her arm was brushing against Sana’s.

Mina had a small waist—she noted this and squeezed just a little tighter, feeling goosebumps raise beneath her chef shirt, which she was kind of glad she decided to keep on.

“I think I need to go back to bed,” Mina pulled away but still kept her arms around Momo and Sana respectively, “I love you guys, a lot.”

Momo did not remove her arm from around Mina’s waist, keeping the palm of her hand pressed against the small of Mina’s back, Sana’s hand just around the same area. Momo could feel the way their fingertips brushed against each other, neither daring to pull away.

“I love you guys too,” Sana smiled warmly, looking much more relaxed in her natural habitat.

“…I love you guys, too,” Momo replied honestly, because if she knew what love was, it was how they interacted with one another, with pure understanding and compassion. That had to be something akin to love—right? Momo would never say it if she didn’t feel there was truth behind it. And somehow, it felt easier to admit to both of them then the idea of saying it individually to them.

“You’re both very cute,” Mina chuckled slightly, reaching up and cupping Momo’s cheek with one hand, while she cupped Sana’s cheek with her other. She shifted her gaze between the two carefully, as if studying pieces of them she didn’t know yet. Though by this point—Momo was unsure what Mina didn’t know about them. At least, the things Momo wanted her to know.

“Good night,” Mina finally pulled away, turning around and giving a small wave to them, walking back to her room with light footsteps.

“Huh…” Momo breathed out, seeing the way Sana’s eyes lingered, “I forgot how bold she can be when she’s half asleep. I mean…I know we talked about this earlier…but its intense in person.”

“What a woman…” Sana trailed off, looking a bit dazed, turning to Momo with the same sparkling eyes. Momo wanted to laugh, but decided against it, more curious at Sana’s tone.

“You sound shocked,” Momo pointed out, sitting to the sofa as Sana joined her, “She always gets like this when she’s tired—all flirty and confident.”

“But every time she does it….wow,” Sana breathed out, leaning into Momo as Momo wordlessly wrapped an arm around her, “She never ceases to take my breath away.”

“Yeah, I know,” Momo chuckled out, “You always make it a point to mention it.” Because for whatever reason, it was so easy for Mina to get looped into their conversations.

“Because its true!” Sana protested, “You can’t tell me you don’t get a little bit flustered when she gets like that.”

This is how Momo knew she was going to be in Sana’s life for a very, very long time—because Sana never forced her to talk about the obvious elephant in the room. She never forced Momo to talk about her childhood, just like she never forced Momo to talk about her sexuality. She simply let Momo be—she wanted to label herself as straight? Sana would simply nod along with it, even if they had this conversation a few times a month. Mina.

“I mean—” Momo hated the way she felt her cheeks burn, scrunching her features, “I mean I do get flustered but—”

“See?” Sana insisted, but it was more as a way to let Momo know she didn’t need to force herself to keep talking, “Something about Mina is just—unreal.”

“Okay, I can agree to that,” Momo nodded. “That feels fitting.”

Sana continued to talk, as if there was nothing more to discuss. Maybe there wasn’t—but Momo had a feeling there was. She just didn’t know if she was actually ready to think about it. Instead, she let herself focus on Sana’s words, the singing of her tone, the way they were so naturally affectionate, the way Sana’s hair brushed against her neck. All good things, all comforts.

Chapter Text

March 16th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:30 AM

Momo was awoken by the sound of their front door banging.

Sana groaned at the noise, squirming in her sleeping mat as she pulled the blankets over her head. Momo sat up, yawning to see the sun barely coming out. Oh, it was too fucking early to wake up at sunrise on her fucking day off, Momo thought to herself, whining at the knocking continued.

“Get it,” Sana groaned, “And I’ll love you forever, Momoring.”

“Shut up,” Momo yawned, dragging herself out of bed, stretching before she opened their room door, a bit surprised to see Mina peeking her head out from her room, eyes much more alert.

“I love you~” Sana sang out.

“…I love you too,” Momo mumbled out, peeking her head out again, Mina smirked.

“Woke you up too?” Mina looked to her knowingly, smiling a bit. Momo was cranky, but Mina’s smile was enough to make her relax a bit more, smiling back bitterly.

“Unfortunately so,” She sighed, both of them making their way to the front door. “Who the hell could be at our door at fucking 4:30 in the morning,” Momo grumbled, unlocking the door and opening it.

Standing in front of her was Jihyo—Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s somewhat adopted teenager-kid. Her hair was down, she looked a lot younger like this. With her hair kind of doing its own thing, reaching nearly her mid back. Her eyes were alert but exhausted, she was wearing a simple oversized flannel and windbreaker pants. Wrapped around her were her two babies—Yunjin and Taehyun, both even more alert than Jihyo, looking around curiously to their surroundings.

“Hey…” Jihyo greeted, “Did you just wake up?”

“What do you think?” Momo yawned out, “Its 4:30 in the morning. Where are Nayeon and Jeongyeon?”

“So…about that,” Jihyo looked around uncomfortably, “Uhm…they hate to do this, but they were wondering if I could be here with you guys for the day.”

Momo and Mina exchanged confused glances, “Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Jihyo shrugged, “They have a stomach bug.”

“Oh no,” Mina frowned, “Are they feeling okay?”

“I mean no,” Jihyo pointed out, “They’ve been taking turns throwing up since midnight. And like, I want to help, but I can’t leave two babies unattended. I already called one of our doctor friends—”

“Ah yes,” Mina nodded understandingly, “One of your two straight doctor friends.”

“And he said he’d be by later to bring medication. To help with the nausea. But other than that all they can really do is wait it out,” Jihyo shrugged, “So…I don’t want to get sick. And I don’t want Yunjin or Taehyun throwing up or else I’m scared their tiny little bodies will wither to dust and I’ll hate myself.”

“Chillax,” Momo awkwardly tried to reassure her, “Babies are tougher than that.”

“And to top it off I just got my braces tightened,” Jihyo grit her teeth, “So now my mouth fucking hurts. And Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie are vomiting literally fucking everywhere in the bathroom. And Taehyun is wide awake for the rest of the day—”

“…Come inside,” Momo motioned for Jihyo to come it, closing the door behind her, “Just…just take a seat on the couch.”

“Wow,” Jihyo set her bag down in the middle of the living room, looking around in awe, “This is your apartment?”

“It is,” Mina yawned, “Nice, right?”

“What the hell—” Jihyo stated, “Why is it so much bigger than theirs? Its literally right next door—you have a balcony?!”

Momo watched Mina give Jihyo a smile, “We do,” She nodded, “Maybe I can show you later—for now, why don’t I help you get your things settled?”

Mina took Momo’s arm, guiding her to the small entryway nearby their rooms, while Jihyo sat with her babies on the sofa quietly. “Go back to sleep,” Mina motioned to her and Sana’s bedroom, “Its early.”

“Its okay,” Momo insisted, “I don’t want to leave you two here alone.”

“Its 4:30 something, Momoring,” Mina smiled, “I’m okay because this is my schedule. But I know you’re exhausted. I can survive about two-ish more hours with a teen mom and two babies. I’m capable. Plus, Jihyo is pretty chill.”

“I never said you weren’t,” Momo corrected, “I would just feel bad.”

“Be like Sana,” Mina joked, “Just sleep.”

“Sana needs her sleep,” Momo joked, “I’m okay.”

“I think both the princesses would benefit from a few more hours,” Mina teased, “Of course, they’re already full of beauty. Both of them are. But that doesn’t mean a few more hours would kill her.”

Momo felt her face burn, too tired to try to ignore it. “…You think I’m a princess?” Stupid fucking compliment, Momo internally smacked herself, she loved when she was called such sweet things.

“One of the most lovely I’ve seen,” Mina said in total honesty, smiling proudly, reaching and patting Momo’s cheek again, “Get some sleep Momoring. Whenever you wake up, then okay. But I just want you to rest a little more.” Momo couldn’t stop the small smile growing even if she tried.

“I—” Momo tried, “You’re right. I’m fucking tired.”

Mina giggled, “I told you.”

“Wake me if anything happens,” Momo insisted, pushing her door open, both of them peeking in to see Sana still fast asleep. She had kicked her comforter off, one leg wrapped out of her blanket, as if cuddling it. Her hair was spread, her mouth slightly open as she snored lightly. Momo smiled, seeing Sana wholly relaxed, looking peaceful even in her sleep, something that she felt like she hadn’t seen in forever—Sana just being at peace, sleeping normally.

“She’s cute,” Mina scrunched her nose affectionately, “She even sleeps cute.”

“Its insane, right?” Momo whispered back, “Like she was just born with it or something. I’m jealous. Well, sometimes I am. Mostly, I’m really happy to be able to see her be like that.”

“You’re cute too,” Mina looked up to her, stating it as if it was fact so Momo had no room to argue, “Now go back to sleep.”

“Okay, okay,” Momo caved, “Goodnight again, Mina.”

“Good morning, Momoring,” Mina waved her off, shutting the door behind her.

March 16th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:37 AM.

“So,” Mina shut the door behind her, going back to Jihyo, who was sitting on the ground with her babies laying down, “You aren’t tired?”

“I don’t sleep,” Jihyo chuckled lightly, “I mean, I do, but not a lot. It was hard at first but now I’m kind of used to it. Its fine…when Taehyunnie and Yunjinnie get older they’ll have better sleeping schedules.”

“You’re taking motherhood quite well,” Mina complimented, “I don’t think I was nearly as stable as you are two years ago.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m stable,” Jihyo contemplated, “But…there’s something Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie always say.”

“Which is?”

“Tis life,” Jihyo shrugged, “And it usually means, its just how it ends up being. And you can either just go with it, or not. And I’ve come to learn just going along with it is a lot easier than the other options.”

“I’ve definitely heard you say that before,” Mina mumbled, bringing her knees to her chest, watching Jihyo’s babies roll around, distracted by their pacifiers and subsequently their toes. “Tell me about yourself, Jihyo.”

Jihyo shrugged, “There’s not a lot to know about me.”

“Nothing at all?” Mina tried, “C’mon.”

Jihyo looked momentarily conflicted, “I don’t really have interests. I don’t think I have the time for that right now.”

“What about when you were younger?”

“…Didn’t really have the time for that either,” Jihyo shrugged, more distracted at looking to her kids, “I didn’t have a good childhood, I guess.”

“You didn’t?” Mina frowned, “How come?”

Jihyo pursed her lips, “I mean, there’s reasons why I live with two essential strangers I met a year ago. They showed me a lot more care in the first two weeks of knowing them than I received my entire life.”

“Oh,” Mina trailed off, “I guess I never thought about it like that.”

“Its okay,’ Jihyo shrugged, “…What about you? What do you like, like aside from the weather apparently?”

Mina chuckled, “I like surfing,” She listed a few things, “I like swimming. I like video games. I like make up.”

“So, I’m guessing the console is yours?” Jihyo pointed to the Nintendo. Mina blushed.

“Its mine,” She nodded, “Its my old system. I have a newer system in my actual room. Along with collectibles and Legos.”

“Oh wow,” Jihyo looked mildly surprised, “So you’re a nerd too?”

“Too?”

“Nayeon-unnie is a huge nerd,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “The apartment is like her personal library. She loves drawing, too. But she’s a big science nerd. She reads a bit about everything, I bet if you talked to her about weather, she’d have a few things she’s learned from just purely reading.”

“Sana is like that too,” Mina giggled, “But she’ll only focus on her interests. Psychology, language, social studies, sociology…”

“So they’re both nerds,” Jihyo sighed, “And you are too. I’m afraid we might be out-nerded here soon.”

“I like music too,” Mina added, “Do you like music?”

Jihyo perked up. “I do,” She nodded enthusiastically, “I listen to a lot of different music. Nayeon-unnie’s friend, I call him Yoongi-oppa, he owns a record store here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jihyo was excited, Mina could tell by how wide her eyes got, “He has so much music from everywhere. America, Mexico, other countries—he has so many genres. He does open mic nights, a lot of foreigners will come to play different things. Live bands, jazz improvisors, poets…its pretty sick. He also has a radio show he does from 10-11pm week nights. I usually play it when I’m closing the laundromat, its a lot of calm instrumental music. I like it a lot.”

“You should come to one of them sometime,” Jihyo offered, “I guess your other friends can come too.”

“I like a lot of American music,” Mina made it a point to keep this topic afloat, letting herself watch Taehyun as his eyes seemed to take in everything around him, curiously looking to the lights and the flicker of lights from the television, “…I was actually raised in America.”

“Whoa?” Jihyo blinked, “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Mina smiled, “Born and raised until I graduated at 16. Its a lot easier to graduate early in America than here in Asia. I took an accelerated gifted program and was able to apply to out of country universities. Then I moved to Japan—that’s when I met Sana and Momo.”

“That’s sick,” Jihyo was in awe, “You’re already living in your third country. I’ve never even left this city.”

“Would you ever want to travel?” Mina asked curiously. Jihyo shrugged.

“I don’t know,” She sighed, “I don’t know too much about what I do and don’t like.”

“Well…” Mina thought for a moment, “Maybe its time for you to start learning?”

“Learning about what?” Jihyo scoffed, “Myself?”

“Who you are,” Mina shrugged, “Your interests, your hobbies. Likes and dislikes…just…things about yourself.”

“But how?” Jihyo questioned, “Its not as easy as it sounds.”

“It could be?” Mina offered, “Sometimes, you just do things. And go from there.”

“Just…do things?” Jihyo snorted, “Just because?”

“Yeah,” Mina nodded, “That’s what I did. I didn’t have to come to Japan—I just did. I became friends with Sana and Momo and they just did things. Clubbing, parties—Sana did book clubs and speed dating. Momo does a lot of exercising and took baking lessons for the hell of it, they just do stuff.”

“That kinda sounds…nice,” Jihyo sounded a bit wistful, “But I don’t know…I’ve never felt like it would or could ever be that easy for someone like me.”

“Well…” Mina looked back to her console, “Have you ever played games?”

“No,” Jihyo shook her head, eyes looking to Mina curiously, “Why?”

“Would you like to try?” Mina offered, “I can set up the console for you to try?”

“I need to feed them,” Jihyo pointed to her babies, Yunjin especially, who was starting to squirm. “I have a bottle already for them.”

“Well,” Mina shrugged, “Feed them. I’ll play for a bit to show you how it works. I can explain the buttons. When you’re done, you take the control.”

“Okay,” Jihyo caved, “I’m down.”

“Sick,” Mina grinned, “Trust me, I’m kind of a gaming master.”

“….Thanks for letting me be here, by the way,” Jihyo mentioned, while Mina was halfway explaining the point of a level.

“I mean its not a problem,” Mina shrugged, “We said the door was always open.”

“I wasn’t sure it was actually true,” Jihyo admitted, patting Yunjin’s back while holding her, cradling her head gently. A few more pats and Yunjin let out a belch, one that was for sure way too loud to come out of such a tiny baby body.

“Of course it’d be genuine,” Mina was a bit surprised, “Why would we lie about that?”

“I dunno,” Jihyo shrugged, keeping Yunjin sitting up in her lap, her daughter in complete awe of the graphics on the television, watching Mina’s pixelated character jump, “I just feel like its hard to meet people who are being genuine. I got lucky enough—Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie are the kindest people I’ve ever met. We got lucky Jeongyeon-unnie was friends with doctors. We were lucky Nayeon-unnie can communicate with so many different people—bringing everyone closer together. But it wasn’t always like that for me.”

“You know, Jihyo,” Mina lowered her controller for a moment, “You remind me a lot of Momo.”

“Momo?” Jihyo scoffed.

“Its a compliment,” Mina snorted, “I love Momo more than anything—of course her and Sana are pretty even in that. But, Momo had a rough upbringing too. I don’t know the whole gist of it, she doesn’t like to talk about it a lot. The only one who really knows everything is Sana, because she was with her the whole time it was happening.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed,” Jihyo seemed to be in deep thought, “I guess no one ever really knows until they tell you. And even then, sometimes I don’t even want to tell people the whole thing. Only Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie really know more. After 17 years.”

“And you don’t have to tell anyone anything if you didn’t feel comfortable,” Mina reassured her, “But you remind me of Momo because Momo had been through a lot—and right now, she’s being given a lot of fortune. She’s prospering in her culinary career—apprenticeships are hard to get into. She has Sana, I was lucky to meet both of them. She’s been out of her childhood home for a while, the moment she shed that skin, she was like a new person.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying,” Mina offered the controller to Jihyo, “Maybe its time to accept your karma—you’ve suffered enough. Maybe the universe is looking to give you the blessings you’ve been longing for.”

Jihyo stared to the controller curiously. “In the form of video games?”

Mina smiled, “In the form of the people you surround yourself with.”

“Do you want to hold Taehyun?” Jihyo looked to Mina, “He’s going to get fussy if I move too much, Yunjin is chilling.”

“I mean…” Mina looked to Taehyun, “I’ve never really held a baby.”

“Its easy,” Jihyo insisted, “He can sit up, he prefers it that way.” She reached over, placing Taehyun onto Mina’s lap, Mina wrapped her arms around him as best as she could, his head pressing into her as he looked up to her curiously. His eyes were huge, it seemed as they took like half his face. They were twinkling, it reminded Mina of the stars she stared at going into the night. His hair was a dark brown—not quite a shade Mina typically saw, but Jihyo’s hair wasn’t fully black either.

“…What’s up?” Mina looked down to him, feeling a strange sense of compassion and a whole lot of awkwardness, “How are you?”

Taehyun didn’t answer, he only continued to stare up at her curiously. “He likes to look at pretty people,” Jihyo beamed, “He’ll stare at Jeongyeon-unnie for hours and hours on end, I think he finds her the prettiest.”

“Well thank you,” Mina looked down to Taehyun, “You’re definitely a charmer.” Taehyun only sucked on his pacifier, refusing to look away.

“So…how do I do this?” Jihyo was now holding the controller, Yunjin was still completely absorbed into the vibrant graphics on the screen, “Do I do the first level?”

“Yes,” Mina nodded, “Just take it easy—try not to—Jihyo, no—”

Jihyo died immediately.

“What the hell happened?” Jihyo was completely confused, “Which one is to jump again?”

“Oh boy,” Mina sighed out, holding Taehyun a little bit tighter, “Yeah, we’re going to be here for a while.”

March 16th, 1995. Approximate time, 6:57 AM.

Sana was awoken, for real this time, by the sound of yelling. It wasn’t anything panicked, but it certainly was loud. She stirred slightly, trying to stay into the bubble of her sleepiness but Sana knew it was inevitable. She yawned, opening her eyes and adjusting to her surroundings—She remembered where she was and who she was with.

Momo was still asleep, Sana noticed the way Momo had taken her hand into her own, holding them close to her chest, curling up. Sana let out a breathy snicker, careful not to move so much. It wasn’t often she saw this side of Momo—the quiet softer side of her. She got a lot of her loud personality, her anchoring presence. She got the Momo who held her hair back when she drank too much, she got a lot of sides of Momo. Sana never usually saw this side though, the peaceful side of her. The slightly vulnerable Momo, Sana believes she may had seen her a lot more in their childhood than she did nowadays.

She has to still be in there, Sana thought to herself, seeing how small Momo actually looked right now.

She heard the yelling again—this time, Momo stirred at the noise. Lifting her head up slightly, Momo’s hair was sticking up in random places, her bangs completely frizzed out. Sana giggled, finally letting go of Momo to reach up and brush her hair back into a presentable place.

“What’s all that noise?” Momo yawned, leaning into Sana’s touch, still dazed, “You think Mina is okay?”

“We might as well check,” Sana sighed in defeat, wishing she could stay asleep, seeing that the time was barely 6:57. She winced, this was still way too early for someone like her.

“You said it not me,” Momo stood up, beginning to stretch. Sana stared up to her for a moment, watching Momo’s shirt slowly ride up, seeing her toned stomach. Sana licked her lips slightly, trying to moisten the dryness, adverting her eyes away and standing up on her own.

“I’m guessing you’re going to cook right now?”

“We have a whole 17 year old in the living room,” Momo pointed out, “I’m pretty sure she’s hungry.”

More yelling came from the living room, Momo and Sana exchanging confused glances before walking out their room, trying to adjust to the light from their window.

“Jihyo—” Mina never really spoke this loud, so Sana was a bit jarred at the sound, “Jihyo, I said jump!”

“And I said I got this!” Jihyo argued right back, her voice was strikingly much louder than anything Sana had ever heard, “Gimme a sec dude!”

“You said that five lives ago!” Mina argued right back—Sana noticed the baby in her lap, it had to be Taehyun based on the hair length. He was simply letting himself be moved around as Mina held him like a plushie, eyes glued to Mina as she argued. “I can’t keep cheat coding you lives!”

“Chill!” Jihyo argued, eyes focused on the television, “I got this! I got this!”

The familiar sound of the character dying rang out from the speakers.

“Fuck!” Jihyo screeched. Mina facepalmed.

“What did I tell you?!” Mina scolded, “But noooo you said you got this!”

“Maybe if you shut up this wouldn’t have been an issue!” Jihyo snarked.

“Why the hell are you guys so loud for?” Momo cut in, yawning, “Its 7 AM.”

“She’s not listening!” Mina protested.

“I said I got this!”

“You obviously didn’t—”

They kept bickering, but Sana couldn’t help but hold in her laughter, snorting a little to see how Jihyo and Mina were arguing with two little babies in their laps, respectively. Mina never seemed like the nurturing type, but she seemed pretty comfortable holding Taehyun as she continued to bicker with his mom.

“Can you guys just shush?” Momo suggested, “You’re going to wake the neighbors—”

“Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie?” Jihyo snorted, “Believe me, they’re awake. I bet they’re throwing up right now as we speak.”

“…I need a cigarette,” Momo muttered, grabbing the pack from the kitchen and opening the balcony door, closing it behind her.

Sana laughed, going to the kitchen and starting the pot of coffee Momo definitely needed, watching as Jihyo continued to play the level with Mina’s comments butting in—they were being entirely immature. It was kind of endearing.

“So, Mina tells me that you’re also super smart,” Jihyo mentioned after dying for the umpteenth time, crawling onto the sofa with Yunjin in her arms, she seemed to be quite skilled at maneuvering around places, “Is that why you and Nayeon-unnie get along so well?”

Sana opened the fridge, scanning the items they had as she thought about Jihyo’s question. “I guess maybe?” She decided on, “Do you drink coffee Jihyo?”

“I’ve never really had it,” Jihyo thought for a moment, “Do you have berries?”

“Of course,” Sana nodded, “Momo always has fruits.”

“She should go with Jeongyeon-unnie to the farm with her lesbian friends,” Jihyo pointed out, “Soyeon and Yuqi are good friends with her, so they usually are willing to give her a little of whatever fruits are in season.”

“Huh…” Sana considered the benefit of this, pulling out a bowl of already chopped strawberries and blackberries, “That’s actually a really good idea.”

“You say it as if you’re surprised,” Jihyo raised an eyebrow. Mina giggled a little, Jihyo seemed proud to have been the one to make her laugh.

“I-I mean I’m not surprised,” Sana quickly recovered, “But I didn’t know Jeongyeon knew farmers like that.”

“She built their irrigation system herself,” Jihyo shrugged as if this was just another casual conversation, but Sana tilted her head.

“Like…helped them set up the system?” Sana tried to clarify.

“Nope—” Jihyo emphasized, “She made it herself. Like blueprinted it and got the parts and made it herself.”

“That…” Sana set the bowl onto the countertop, “That’s incredibly impressive.”

“She’s just skilled like that,” Jihyo shrugged, “Jeongyeon-unnie is full of surprises. I want to be skilled like that when I’m older. But I’m not into irrigation systems…I like to help her with cars though.”

“It seems so,” Sana was a bit taken aback, “I mean I’m not saying I didn’t think she was smart or anything—”

“Its cool,” Jihyo shrugged, “I wouldn’t have pinned it on her either. She’s super strong, too.”

“That I can imagine,” Mina joined the conversation, having taken a lot more time to settle on the couch with Taehyun in her arms, “She looks like the strong type.”

“Yeah, she is—” Jihyo confirmed, “She knocked out a 6 foot man once with one punch. I think its the coolest thing she’s ever done. She always tells me it was pure luck and that she usually isn’t able to knock someone out but I don’t care.

Sana wanted to giggle, wondering if Jeongyeon was the type to tell tall-tales just to make Jihyo see her as cooler. “And how did you learn about this?”

“…I was there,” Jihyo said this as if it was a normal everyday experience, “She socked him and he crumpled straight to the ground. It was fucking sick as hell.”

Sana immediately looked to Mina—she wasn’t surprised to see Mina looking right back, eyes wide in surprise. Sana wasn’t exactly sure how to react, she didn’t actually think Jeongyeon would actually knock out a man, it had to have been for good reason. But also, this probably wasn’t Sana’s business to push for.

“….Do you want a smoothie?” Sana completely changed the subject.

“Please,” Jihyo surprisingly politely asked, “You know…I never really liked berries until I got pregnant. Then I was obsessed with them. They had to keep so many containers of strawberries and blackberries and blueberries because I couldn’t get enough of them. I kind of rotated around but I think I’ve settled on blackberries. I think those are my favorites.”

“That’s crazy to think about,” Mina said, “To suddenly love something because of the hormones.”

The balcony door opened again, Momo looked a bit more alert, smelling a tad bit more like tobacco. Sana didn’t really mind, she enjoyed the faint stain that was on her clothes. She liked how Momo usually smelled like roses and amber from her perfume and raspberry from her lip gloss and chapstick.

“Okay, I’m better,” Momo clapped her hands, looking to see Sana with a bowl of fruit on the counter, “What’s up?”

“Jihyo asked for a smoothie,” Sana motioned, “I just got the fruit out. I swear I didn’t touch anything else.”

“You’re a whole grown woman,” Jihyo pointed out, “Why are you acting like that?”

“Because the last time Sana tried to help her in the kitchen, Momo had to go get stitches on her foot,” Mina told her, “She dropped a knife through Momo’s foot.”

Jihyo’s jaw dropped, Sana hid her face in her hand, “So I’m banned from kitchen business for the time being.”

“No way,” Jihyo laughed out, “…Can I see the scar?”

“Why?” Momo questioned.

“I think they’re cool,” Jihyo shrugged, “I have some scars too, but Jeongyeon’s surgery scar is so cool to look at.”

“Let me guess, its sick as hell?”

“I like you the best,” Jihyo looked to Mina, “You really get me.”

“I’ll show you later,” Momo waved her off, “If I don’t start cooking I might implode. Sana, thank you for getting the fruit—get out of the kitchen.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sana took it in stride, not very keen on helping regardless.

“Mina—” Momo pointed and motioned for her, “Help me out?”

Mina was a much better sous chef than Sana, she could admit that with her whole chest. “I have a Taehyun,” Mina held the baby, “Unless Jihyo is okay with Sana holding him?”

“Taehyun needs a calming energy,” Jihyo shook her head, eyeing Sana suspiciously, “She can hold Yunjin if she wants. Yunjin is chill too, but I’d rather her hold Yunjin than Taehyun. He’s a different kind of tender.”

“I’ll hold any baby,” Sana grinned, holding her arms out as Jihyo gave Yunjin to her, her hair pulled up into another pineapple looking ponytail, sucking on her pacifier as she giggled gleefully.

“Oh she’s so cute!” Sana cooed, “Jihyo she’s absolutely adorable!”

“I know…I literally created her,” Jihyo scoffed, “They were going to come out cute.”

“I like the confidence,” Momo nodded from the kitchen, where Mina had joined her, pulling her own hair up as she entered, “Keep that.”

Sana watched as Momo and Mina began to work in sync, they had their own morning routine Sana wasn’t typically a part of, she loved her beauty sleep. But it was nice to sneak a peek of a part of their life she wasn’t normally a part of—it wasn’t exclusion, it was simply timing. Mina poured out coffee, one black for herself, another with creamer and maple syrup because it appeared Momo already went through the entirety of their sugar supply—Sana wrinkled her nose.

“You just want some creamer, right?” Mina looked to Sana curiously, “I know that’s how you get it when we got out.”

“Yes, please,” Sana smiled, looking to see Yunjin reaching up to grab at her tank top strap, her baby grip like iron as she pulled. Sana only laughed, careful that she didn’t pull it down, letting Yunjin explore with her senses.

“Thanks,” Momo took the cup from Mina gratefully, taking a small sip while Mina nearly downed her burning liquid immediately. Sana was holding a baby, she could wait a bit before she drank her coffee, which was set on the counter, she could see the steam rising off of it.

“Okay,” Momo clapped her hands, “Mina, make the smoothie—half a cup strawberries, half a cup of blackberries, you can keep those whole. There’s frozen bananas in the freezer, use five slices of that…Jihyo do you like your smoothies thick or thin?”

“Um….”

“Like,” Momo motioned as she tried to find the words, “Creamy or watery?”

“…Creamy?”

“Okay then use a few slices of avocado,” Momo motioned to the fridge, “And half a cup of milk.”

“Got it,” Mina nodded, already throwing everything into the blender Sana never used, nor would she ever have a desire to use, ever. Did she mention she’d never ever use it?

“So how are you Jihyo?” Sana turned her attention to her, as she continued to sit on the couch, Taehyun growing fussy.

“Ugh,” Jihyo sighed, “Sore.” She began to bounce him a bit on her lap, the movement enough to keep him entertained.

“But I’m okay,” Jihyo continued their previous conversation, “I don’t feel sick at least. I’m tired and my mouth hurts but that’s it, really.”

“Those braces are new, right?” Sana asked, “Nayeon mentioned it to me.”

“Yeah, they were a birthday gift,” Jihyo snorted, grinning widely so Sana could see the wires and tangerine bands, “I didn’t like my teeth. Especially when Jeongyeon-unnie has some of the straightest fucking teeth I’ve ever seen.”

“I used to have braces,” Sana giggled, “Somewhere I have pictures. I have a lot of cameras I haven’t gone to develop—I used to look very, very nerdy.” She really needed to remember to develop those damn pictures, the box of disposable cameras was starting to grow larger by the day.

“You still are nerdy,” Jihyo pointed out, “You just don’t look it.”

“You’re right about that,” Sana agreed, “I had to grow into my features.”

“I think I’m still growing into my features,” Jihyo scrunched her nose, “I feel like I still look like an awkward teen—well…it makes sense because I am a teen. I don’t feel like it sometimes, though.”

“I mean you’re in a different stage than most teens your age,” Sana shrugged, “You’re a mother. That’s going to come with a load of different responsibilities.”

“Here you go, kid,” Momo walked over holding a cup filled with a pretty dusty pink liquid, garnished with a blackberry and strawberry chunks that stayed on top and a sprinkle of sea salt. Jihyo eyed it curiously, holding Taehyun to her chest with one arm, cradling him protectively.

“Trust me,” Momo smiled softly, “Mina knows what she’s doing.”

“Because Momo told me,” Mina pointed out, “Try it.”

Jihyo listened to Mina, taking the glass and sipping from the straw. She took a long hearty sip, unsure where she was supposed to be looking since everyone’s eyes were on her. “Damn,” Jihyo finally pulled away, “…What the fuck?”

“What?” Momo scrunched her nose in amusement. Sana loved when she did that.

“How did you make it taste like that?” Jihyo questioned, “Like really, really good? How the hell did you do that? You put avocado in it.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Momo beamed, “I’m an apprentice. I have to know my way around this stuff.”

Jihyo was too busy drinking more of her smoothie to respond, Sana could see the contents leaving the cup much quicker. “Damn,” Jihyo mumbled, “That’s crazy. Wow. Can you make another?”

“On it,” Mina chuckled from the kitchen, “Good thing we just went grocery shopping.”

“Thanks,” Jihyo looked up to Momo. Momo smiled back down.

“Its not a big deal,” Momo chuckled, “Its just a smoothie.”

Sana smiled at the interaction, it was sweet to see Momo be so kind—she had always felt a bit awkward around kids. She never did well when they would go volunteer at the children’s hospitals, but she’d always go because Sana loved to help hold the babies. Momo loved to hold the babies too, it was any age past babies where she floundered.

It didn’t take long for Sana to figure out what Momo was making, based on the rice Mina was now plating and the yellow roll Momo was chopping currently. “What is that?” Jihyo asked, on her second smoothie as she patted Taehyun’s back, until her let out a small belch. A bit uncharacteristically quiet, but hearty.

“Tamagoyaki,” Sana explained, “Its a Japanese dish with egg. Momo likes to add green onion to hers though.”

“It makes it elevated,” Momo pointed out, bringing plates of rolled eggs with rice onto the low table they had, motioning for Jihyo and Sana to join them, “Everything in fine dining is about fucking elevation.”

“Are you okay with me watching them here?” Momo offered, “You’ve been up for a while dude, you should eat.”

“Yeah, take a break, Jihyo,” Mina encouraged, motioning for her to sit beside her, “Momoring can handle it. She’s helped out a lot with babies back in Japan.”

“We used to volunteer all the time,” Sana recalled, “She was magical with the babies. Only the babies though. Once they became toddlers—”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Momo shrugged, Sana giggled.

“I mean, they’re pretty chill right now,” Jihyo set Taehyun down on the mat she brought, as he began to kick his feet excitedly, spitting his pacifier out and babbling. “He just wants to play,” Jihyo handed him a teething toy, as he began to chew, his saliva going everywhere.

“I can manage that,” Momo reassured her, sitting on the floor crisscross, as Jihyo took Yunjin from Sana, placing her on the ground as well, giving Momo a toy to entertain her with.

“Enjoy the food,” Momo waved, Jihyo joined the table to sit beside Mina, who gave Jihyo a plate.

“Tamagoyaki,” Jihyo repeated what Sana had told her, “Is this good?”

“You tell me,” Mina shrugged, “Though I usually eat mine with ketchup.”

“Ew,” Jihyo wrinkled her nose, “You really are a foreigner at heart.”

Sana laughed, Momo snickered. Mina glared warningly so Sana decided to shush even if Jihyo made a very good point. Sana joined them at the table, she could see the way Mina would eye Momo in the living room occasionally, watching Momo play with the babies. It was cute, endearing really. Momo never liked to show this side of her either, not to Sana or Mina. Her tender side, the way she was scrunching her nose and cooing to the babies—Sana could hear their babbles and loud laughter as Momo tickled their stomachs and toes.

“You guys are just the cutest,” Momo had mumbled, Jihyo smirked a little as she ate.

“She’s nice,” Jihyo finally pointed out, “She reminds me of Jeongyeon-unnie, kinda. Comes off as cool, but is very sweet. Except Jeongyeon-unnie jokes back with me.”

“Momo’s a different type,” Sana said lowly, “She’s very tender. She looks strong, and she is, but she only learned to be strong because she was treated very badly when she was younger.”

“I get that,” Jihyo nodded, “But I have a hard time being I don’t know…nice? Sweet? I only really do it to Nayeon-unnie especially. She’s like a mom to me. Well…is a mom to me, really, but I get shy saying that.”

Sana’s heart twisted at the admittance, even though Jihyo had spoke of it so casually. As if this was definitely something she had realized and held dear to her heart, something that she knew was a part of herself. And it was insane to think about—Nayeon was only 27 as far as Sana knew. That was barely ten years Jihyo’s senior. Nayeon was still, and is, relatively young in hindsight. Jeongyeon was even younger—and they took on the responsibility of helping out a teenager. Whatever the situation had been, Sana knew it had to have been a rough one.

“Well, if you ever want to practice being nice to someone else,” Sana patted Jihyo’s hand, “It’d be Momoring. Mina and I can handle the rest.”

Sana turned to see Momo now laying on her stomach, closer to the babies faces as she continued to distract them. She smiled.

“I guess I could try,” Jihyo considered, “She made a really good smoothie. Also…” She took another bite of her egg roll, “This shit is fucking delicious—does she just make shit like this for you guys?”

“She likes to,” Mina confirmed.

“Damn,” Jihyo breathed out, “Fucking lucky. Though, Jeongyeon-unnie’s cooking is my favorite, but maybe I’m biased because she cooks foods I never had as a kid.”

“Hey,” Jihyo had plopped herself beside Momo, watching her babies carefully.

“Hey,” Momo greeted, sitting up to look to Jihyo, smiling, “Your babies are very adorable. They have your eyes.”

Jihyo didn’t look up just yet, smiling down to her babies. “You think so?”

“Definitely,” Momo smiled, happy to satisfy Jihyo, “I really do see the resemblance.”

“Sometimes I forget it was a two person job,” Jihyo admitted, “Like you know...to make them.”

Momo snorted, “I’ve had a lot of…encounters…in which I forgot it was a two person job, too.”

“I’m not 7,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “You can say sex. I mean,” She motioned to her babies, “I’m not exactly a beginner. I mean…I’m not an expert either but…”

“Was he a boyfriend?” Momo asked curiously. She could hear Sana and Mina bustling around, washing dishes and putting items away. It was their thank you for Momo usually cooking.

“Not really,” Jihyo shook her head, “It was…a weird situation.”

Momo nodded. “I get that,” She said simply.

“Thanks, by the way,” Jihyo still didn’t look up to Momo just yet, fidgeting with the edge of the mat.

“For what?” Momo questioned, “The food? Its not a big deal—”

“Not that,” Jihyo pouted to herself, before looking to Momo, “Just for like…letting me be here right now. I didn’t really want to. I felt bad.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Momo reassured her, “I told them our door would always be open.”

“You know,” Jihyo rubbed her arm awkwardly, “Mina said I reminded her of you. Something about how your childhood was. She didn’t like…say anything, because I’m sure she respects you a lot and also doesn’t really know much. But she said I reminded her of you because I guess if I really admit it, I had a really bad childhood, too.”

“Did you now?” Momo’s voice softened, “I’m sorry you did.”

“Its fine,” Jihyo shrugged, “Nayeon-unnie and Jeongyeon-unnie always say…tis life. I guess it kind of means like sometimes things can’t be helped. All you can learn to do is roll with the punches. Mina said that’s how you were, very patient until everything flourished. Your cooking is really good.”

“Thanks,” Momo snorted, very entranced by how fast Jihyo’s mind seemed to go, constantly drifting and shifting between topics as if her brain couldn’t stay on one thing. It was very Sana-esque, Momo wasn’t a stranger to these kind of conversations.

“I’m sure you get told that a lot,” Jihyo said absentmindedly, grabbing Taehyun’s feet and moving them around until he began to giggle, “But I bet you got really good at cooking from your hard work. I’m sure you spent a lot of time everywhere but your home. I feel like that’s the case cause I also avoided home a lot too, except…I didn’t like…make anything of myself.”

“It helped I had an escape,” Momo admitted, “I’ve been friends with Sana longer than anyone else I’ve known in my life. I’d go to her home all the time, as often as I could. Her parents are very kind—they were very kind to me. That’s when I learned I loved to cook, in a home with loving people.”

“You can taste it,” Jihyo agreed, “You can taste your love in it, I guess? Does that make sense? I’m really trying here.”

Momo smiled, chuckling slightly, using a rag to wipe Yunjin’s teething spit, “I understand Jihyo,” She confirmed, “I also have a hard time with words and such. So I used actions.”

“So yeah…” Jihyo trailed off, “Thank you again for letting me be here. It was a big help.”

“The door is always open, yeah?” Momo offered Yunjin’s rag, “Its not a suggestion, its an option, always an option.”

“I got you,” Jihyo nodded, “Besides, Taehyun and Yunjin seem to like it here. I think they like how bright the television is.”

The watch on Jihyo’s wrist beeped, Jihyo perked up as she checked it. “Oh shit—” She mumbled, grabbing her backpack and rummaging through its contents, as Sana and Mina made their way back to the living room, taking seats on the couch behind them.

“Whatcha doing there?” Sana questioned.

“Getting my monitor,” Jihyo simply stated, pulling out a small cube with a cuff as she unwrapped it, pulling it over her arm and tightening it.

“A blood pressure monitor?” Sana tilted her head curiously, “Why do you have that?”

“Well to check my blood pressure, obviously,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, Momo kind of found her snark endearing, in a strange way. Like the way a younger sister gave attitude, “I’m supposed to monitor my blood pressure three times a day, morning, noon, and night, as by the request of my doctor…but he’s actually my friend Sannie’s dad so I call him Namjoon-oppa but he also technically was the doctor who birthed my kids—”

“What an interesting relationship,” Mina said, “Why do you need to check your blood pressure so often? Didn’t you give birth like…five months ago?”

“Yep,” Jihyo confirmed, “But when you get eclampsia they way I did and seize on the table they really want to make sure your blood pressure is good the first six months after birth.”

Momo did not know what eclampsia was exactly—but it didn’t sound pleasant. She turned to Sana and Mina, whose expressions had both visibly paled immensely, Sana’s eyes wide and Mina’s expression worried.

“You had eclampsia at birth?” Sana repeated.

“You seized?”

“I also hemorrhaged,” Jihyo added, “Yeah, I could’ve died apparently.”

Momo processed Jihyo’s words, feeling a bit strange at how lightly she was treading these waters. She may not have known what eclampsia was, but she knew was seizures and lots of blood meant—and it didn’t usually look good. Momo looked to Sana and Mina once more. They had exchanged looks with each other, obviously in disbelief, trying to process Jihyo’s cool demeanor.

Obviously, it seemed there was a lot more to learn about Jihyo than they thought.

Chapter Text

October 12th, 1991. Approximate time, 6:24 PM

Even if Sana was the one who tended to show her emotions with better ease, that didn’t mean Momo was completely incapable of expressing herself. Sana just knew she was incredibly selective about who, when, and just how much of it to show.

So, of course, you could imagine the pressure in the center of her chest when she stepped into Momo’s apartment, the only light being whatever could bleed through the half closed blinds. It was like the air around her was suddenly dense, making it feel just a bit harder to breathe. Momo was in the kitchen, only the stovetop light on, turning around to face Sana as she shut the door. The smell of stew was wafting through the air, sharp and flavorful, but it somehow made all this situation even more stuffy.

“…Momoring?” Sana cautiously asked, placing the key onto the table beside the door, “Everything good?”

Momo was staring right to her, jaw tight. Sana could see how she was biting the inside of her cheek as if trying to soothe herself. A nasty habit Sana never liked for her to do. A part of her wanted to tell her to stop, because Sana hated when Momo hurt herself in any way. But something (probably the last lick of common sense she carried) warned her not to, “You look upset,” Sana instead kind of pointed out the obvious, but Momo was hardly ever like this, so she wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it, “Is there something you want to talk about?”

“Sana,” Momo said firmly, arms crossed, making her way over to the counter that divided her kitchen and living room, never once breaking eye contact, “I’m giving you one chance.”

“…Chance for what?” Sana questioned, lingering by the door, feeling like one move was going to make the already tense air snap, “What’s going on?” She could feel her heart start to pick up again, insides twisting up like they wanted to crawl out of her.

“Sana,” Momo repeated, firmer, “Is there anything—literally, anything, you need to talk to me about?”

Sana felt her heart pound a bit harsher in her chest, gripping the strap of her backpack just a bit tighter, “What…what are you talking about?” Was it possible to say it felt as if Sana’s guts were shivering beneath her skin?

Momo pursed her lips, very obviously holding back a comment or two or maybe ten, shaking her head. “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Momo said sharply, it felt like hot iron against something frozen, steaming and painful. “I know you know what I’m talking about, Sana.”

Sana realized exactly what Momo was implying. Maybe that was the downside to knowing someone for the better portion of half your life—to be able to read her like a known book. So easily that Sana knew lying was sort of pointless and baseless. That didn’t mean Sana wouldn’t try. The carefully crafted wall Sana had been trying to build for a month and a half suddenly came crumbling down. “Momo—” She tried immediately, going to the kitchen, but Momo wasn’t having any of it. She took a few steps back, careful to keep a distance between herself and Sana, which felt like the worst blow of it all despite everything else happening around her, Sana drew a breath that felt impossible to catch.

“Momo—” Sana repeated pleadingly, “I-I didn’t mean to—”

“Didn’t mean to what?” Momo questioned sharply, holding a finger to Sana accusingly, “Get caught? Have me find out?”

“…How did you even?”

“I’m not stupid, Sana,” Momo hissed, arms crossing over herself defensively, “Contrary to popular belief. I can see that you’ve been avoiding me more lately. I can tell you’re in love—you always have that same look. You fucking suck at hiding hickeys. You smell different, like men’s cologne, just like you always do when we leave the clubs and I know you’ve snuck off with someone—”

“Okay—” Sana cut her off, feeling her ears burn, “Okay, yes, I’m seeing someone—”

“Who?”

Sana went quiet, feeling Momo’s eyes burn right through her very being, staring right into her soul. Hard, stoic, and quietly fuming. Sana wondered if there was any way she’d be able to get out of this. “Just…someone in my psychology class…” She trailed off uncomfortably.

“Someone in it?” Momo emphasized, “Or teaching it?”

Sana felt her blood run cold, her insides shivering, her hands twitching. Her throat ran dry, licking her lips unsurely with a newfound interest of the pattern of the floor. She was doing everything in her power to not look directly into Momo’s eyes, a new wave of something similar to guilt crashing over her, making her dizzy and a bit unsteady as she pressed her back against the wall.

Her refusal for an answer seemed to be just exactly what Momo was looking for, exhaling a heavy breath, shaking her head slowly. “No.” She suddenly said, with a specific tone that made Sana shrink back, “Absolutely not Sana.”

“You’re saying it as if you have a say in it,” Sana suddenly found herself growing defensive, “I’m very capable of deciding these things on my own.”

“Are you?” Momo’s tone was growing agitated. This was weird, this was new in a way that Sana wished it never happened at all. The only other time she could recall Momo growing angry at a conversation was nearly a decade ago—

“I am,” Sana scoffed, “What? Contrary to popular belief I’m fully grown and able to make my own sound decisions.”

“It doesn’t sound like it right now,” Momo countered, “How is going behind my back showing you’re making a sound decision?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this,” Sana sighed, shoulders slumping, “I knew you’d get upset—”

“—Like you wouldn’t?”

“You don’t see me doting on you with your older boyfriend—”

“Two fucking years older, genius,” Momo scowled, “Pretty fucking age appropriate. How old is this guy anyway?”

Really, it was insane how Momo was trying to defend a guy Sana wasn’t even fond of. But you’d never hear her say that to Momo, because Momo liked the guy and Sana was considerate enough. Even if she could tell this guy didn’t look at Momo like she was a priceless artifact. Even if she saw how he never held the door open for her or pulled the chair out for her to sit on. You wouldn’t catch her screaming at the top of her lungs for Momo to open her fucking eyes that she deserved so much more than whatever this mediocre man could offer. Hell, even Sana herself could give Momo so much more than that stupid fucking boy—

Sana shook her head.

“That’s none of your business if you’re going to keep acting like this.”

“Tell me,” Momo curtly spoke, “Or I swear—”

“Fine,” Sana spat, “He’s 29, you happy?”

“Oh my god,” Momo brought her hands to her face, sounding winded, rubbing vigorously, like she was trying to wake herself up from this nightmare scenario, “Sana—”

“And this is why I didn’t want to tell you!” Sana repeated.

“Because that’s not fucking appropriate!” Momo argued, “Are you blind?!”

“Sorry—when did you become the person who made every decision in my life?”

“I’m not—” Momo’s voice was yelling, but she stopped herself. Here voice was loud—little to no control of her volume, enough to make Sana press against the wall once again in pure surprise.

“…I’m not trying to dictate anything, Satang,” She quietly continued, trying to keep her voice low and steady, but Sana could see the way her hands curled into fists, shaking from her grip. “But I just want you to be safe—”

“I am safe,” Sana protested, “…He’s very sweet to me, you know.”

“Is he really?”

“He is,” Sana insisted, heartstrings tugging in defiance as she thought about just how sweet the whirlwind of romance had been in the past month and a half. How attentive he was, how he couldn’t keep his hands off her, how he wanted to always be with her, in any way he could. “I swear on it.”

Momo’s expression looked strained, like she was fighting every piece of her natural instinct, hands still clenched. “Sana—” She tried again, sounding like she was trying to be normal. This time, Sana kept her mouth shut, watching the way Momo turned her head away, chewing the inside of her cheek roughly. The silence was painful now, Sana hated when her and Momo argued. They had plenty of disagreements—that’s how friends functioned. But arguments—they were far and few.

“You—I—this…” Momo was starting to struggle, shoulders growing tense, “I just…this—”

“That age difference…” Momo trailed, blinking harshly, “That-That’s 11 years, Sana—that’s…that’s…that’s a-almost about the age difference with me and my—”

“Stop.” Sana cut Momo off before she could even finish her statement. She could feel the sharpness in her tone, she could see the way Momo’s nostrils flared because every second she was getting closer to exploding completely. Sana wouldn’t even know what to do if that happened—it had been so long. She could see the way Momo’s chest was rising, quicker and shallow, beginning to struggle to catch her breath. She could note the signs that Momo was overstressing herself immediately. The stutter, the blinking, the shaking fists, the heavy breathing—

Any resolve Sana had immediately dissipated, shoulders drooping as she could only look to Momo as the woman continued to struggle. Her frustration completely evaporated, now only replaced with undeniably overwhelming amounts of guilt. Sana hated feeling guilty, years of it and she always chose to run away from it. Her head was starting to hurt—it felt like she was suddenly lifting her head up from a dangerously deep sleep, still momentarily delirious. Why was she getting so defensive about all of this? It was Sana, and it was Momo, her Momo.

“What am I doing?” Sana continued, letting her voice soften, “Don’t think that, Momoring. It-Its not like that. It’s different—Momo…”

“Sana—” Momo continued, voice teetering between tender and frustrated, “What—what if—”

“Momo,” Sana felt her own throat grow tight, taking a few cautious steps closer, waiting to see if Momo would back up. She didn’t, Sana wasn’t entirely sure if this was a good or bad thing—it didn’t look as if Momo was entirely here right now.

“Momo,” Sana repeated, keeping her voice soft and low, until the gap was nonexistent and she pulled Momo into a hug, fingers tangling into her hair. Momo let herself be pulled, burying her face into the crook of Sana’s neck, but making no move to hug Sana back. “Hey,” Sana said softly in the silence, she could feel the way Momo’s breathing was still unsteady, not deep enough.

“Momoring…” Sana whispered as gently as she could, “Hey, look at me.”

She pulled the woman away slightly, enough to give her full view of Momo’s face. Her bangs were overgrown, her eyes a bit bloodshot. Her nose was growing red, her face a bit pale. “What if what, Momo?” Sana whispered, “I want you to talk to me.”

Momo sniffled, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. Sana waited patiently, hands still on Momo’s shoulders, holding her close. Sana always loved to hold Momo, even if it was usually Sana being hugged by her. Because Sana ran hotter than people assumed and Momo always ran cold. Because it kind of felt like they fit perfectly with each other, like puzzle pieces. Because she knew she was important in Momo’s life because she was allowed to hold her.

Momo’s arms wrapped around Sana’s waist, holding her close. Sana felt a small noise of concern leave her lips, even Momo’s touch felt afraid. “…What if he hurts you, Sana?” Momo finally managed out, making Sana’s heart twist. Truly, it would have been less painful if Momo just got her kitchen knife and stabbed Sana’s chest with it. It was have been significantly less painful, but Sana doubted that would ever happen, because Momo was entirely too kind to even have a fleeting thought like that.

“Momo,” Sana sighed, reaching up, using her thumb to brush a bit of Momo’s fresh tear away from her face, “I know you’re worried. I get it, I really do. I can’t lie and say I don’t get nervous every time you tell me about a new guy.”

“He-He’s your professor—” Momo stiffly clarified, “He’s y-your teacher, Sana. S…something about this doesn’t feel good—”

“And its maybe not entirely ethical,” Sana whole-heartedly admitted, blush rising against her cheeks against her better judgement, “But he’s very nice to me, Momo. He always compliments me and holds my hand whenever he can.”

“…Like-Like your parents,” Momo said quietly, “You always said you wanted someone who would always want to touch you.”

“Exactly,” Sana nodded, “Its still so new—I swear to you on that. Its only been a little over a month.”

Momo seemed to be in deep thought, still holding Sana tightly, “You…” She finally managed, “You deserve someone who will always want to hold you. Or let you hold them. I know it means the whole world to you.” Her voice was firm, her words stuttering less as she pulled her entire focus into those words.

“It does,” Sana whispered, even if it was relieving to admit this—something still didn’t feel entirely correct. Like Sana’s whole axis was thrown off. “And I completely get you not being entirely on board with this.”

“Its a big gap Satang,” Momo said weakly.

“But we’re not kids anymore, Momo—” Sana tried softly, it was a strange admittance to say, because, sometimes, Sana didn’t feel like an adult. “We’re adults, legally. You live on your own, I’m in school. Life changes—you have a boyfriend and—”

“You’re dating your professor,” Momo said flatly, but with no malice, so maybe Sana was doing something right, “Its not…its not ideal, really Sana. I just don’t want you to be hurt—”

“You’re going to give yourself an anxiety attack,” Sana chided softly, “Every time we’ve gotten with someone, we always risk the chance of getting hurt. Mentally, emotionally, physically. The risk is all the same, but I’m sorry Momo. I-I don’t know what stopped me from telling you—”

“You tell me everything,” Momo frowned, “Why wouldn’t you want to tell me this?”

“I-I guess…” Sana tried to find the right words, “I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do, Momo. You mean the world to me, you’re everything to me. I don’t know what I’d do if you were so pissed, you stopped talking to me—”

“I could never stop,” Momo said firmly, even sounding a bit surprised to Sana’s confession, “Maybe I’m not really…on board…with this whole thing, but Sana—” She stared right to Sana, eyes wide even with tears, never once tearing away, “I want you to be in my life forever. I-I know I don’t say it often—but that’s because I already know we are. But maybe I-I should tell you more, I want you in my life…f-forever. I don’t think something like a relationship would even get in the way of that.”

Sana felt her own eyes stinging, blinking harshly to try to keep them at bay. “But you need to cut me some slack,” Momo urged, “You…you’ve never hidden something like this from…me. You tell me everything—we tell each other pretty much everything.”

“You’re right,” Sana nodded, “We do. I don’t know why I was so scared to.”

“Just…” Momo bit the inside of her cheek again, Sana frowned.

“You’re going to make yourself bleed,” She gently scolded, reaching and pinching Momo’s cheek gently, “Don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” Momo meekly admitted, “Just Sana…please…be careful.”

“I always will Momo,” Sana agreed, letting Momo pull her into another hug. A firm but gentle grasp, Sana felt like Momo initiating affection was few and far, sometimes, she wished Momo would do it more often. Because she absolutely melted every single time, because Momo always felt so cool to the touch, curling into Sana like it meant something special every time. When they were younger, Sana kind of wished it meant something more, something more special. But she’s not a kid anymore, it feels more real to think about now, because Sana can’t stop letting her mind wander. And she’s since learned they are special—her and Momo.

“And if something goes wrong, you have every right to tell me I told you so,” Sana added softly, hoping to lighten the mood, aiming to distract Momo from her wholly overwhelming emotions she always had trouble processing.

“I don’t think I want to do that,” Momo wrinkled her nose, “I want to be proven wrong. I want you to always be happy, Satang. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Sana’s guilt was starting to grow tenfold, until it felt like her whole body was drowning in it. She can’t seem to pin where in her psyche she thought it would be okay to hold off on telling Momo this very important thing. She’s never done anything like this before, Sana had always been entirely open with Momo, maybe even a little too open. Regardless, whatever came over, Sana needed it to leave—fast. Because there was absolutely no way she was going to let something like this happen again. She had decided so long ago to never be the reason Momo would ever be afraid.

“How about I help you finish the stew?” Sana offered when it felt fitting. Momo only sighed slightly, watching Sana closely with a gleam in her eye. She looks tired, Sana couldn’t help but note.

“…How about we just order something?” Momo countered, looking to her darkened kitchen, “…I think I might have burnt the stew.”

Sana frowned, but her automatic response was to simply nod silently, letting herself take the lead, going to Momo’s living room as Momo went to turn off her stove. Burnt her stew—maybe that’s why Sana’s axis was thrown off. Because Sana never had secrets and Momo never, ever burned her food. So things were shifting slightly—Sana can’t recall a time they were ever that close to arguing, and she didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Chapter Text

April 2nd, 1995. Approximate time, 12:41 PM

“You know,” Nayeon placed some noodles into Sana’s cup absentmindedly, sitting at Nayeon’s desk—because Sana’s was always a mess. Granted, Nayeon’s was disorganized, but it was organized chaos. Sana’s desk was her mind—purely chaotic.

“Hm?” Sana questioned, waiting patiently as Nayeon passed a few noodles that Jeongyeon had made. It became a bit of a habit; they were falling into a routine. Jihyo would come in the mornings, before heading out downstairs with her babies. Momo had been making her smoothies, Jihyo preferred thick, creamy, sweet fruity drinks—Momo had a whole list. Occasionally, she’d go and deliver food to Jeongyeon and Nayeon to be nice. Jeongyeon had taken Momo to that lesbian farm Jihyo always talked about. It was true…it was ran by lesbians. And they had a lot of fruit and produce, Sana couldn’t believe how stocked their fridge was.

Jeongyeon also enjoyed cooking. Her skills were limited to homey meals Jihyo never grew up with, but it didn’t stop her from giving them to Sana, Momo, and Mina whenever she could. Sana enjoyed anyone’s cooking, she just liked to eat. Momo appreciated anyone’s cooking because she could essentially see the good in anyone’s attempt. Jeongyeon was far from a beginner, she just wasn’t an expert.

So, Nayeon was sharing her meal with Sana, Jeongyeon had made gochujang noodles, Sana was not going to say no to that. Momo gave Sana freshly squeezed lychee lemonade in a thermos this morning, Sana had exchanged a Styrofoam cup of lychee lemonade for a Styrofoam cup of noodles.

“I’m curious,” Nayeon twirled her noodles in her chopsticks, until it wrapped into a ball, “…Have you ever kissed Mina?”

“Whoa—” Sana choked on the sip of lemonade she had taken, coughing and hacking as Nayeon set her cup down.

“Easy there,” Nayeon patted her back, though her hands were, in fact, huge and she didn’t actually know her own strength, so she was more slapping Sana’s back roughly. Eventually, Sana was able to get a grip, wiping her chin with her napkin and looking to Nayeon wide eyed.

Nayeon remained neutral, waiting for Sana to get a grip. “I—” Sana tried, but could not formulate any actual words in any language, really.

“I feel I may have struck a nerve,” Nayeon said curiously, “Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say,” Sana was burning, “I’ve never kissed her. Why would you ask that in the first place?”

Nayeon shrugged, “Not trying to stereotype, really. But…she’s attractive,” She was stating this as pure fact, which in this case, from a theoretical perspective, it was, “You’re attractive,” Nayeon added listing off a few points, “You both like women to an extent, you both coexist together in a queer safe space of expression—it feels nearly inevitable.”

“You make fair points,” Sana accepted the terms of Nayeon’s case, nodding carefully.

“Also…you guys are very affectionate,” Nayeon added, “Then again—you are with Momo, too. All three of you are just very affectionate with one another. I don’t know, I’m just curious. I look at you and I look at how you are with Mina and it just sticks out to me.”

“…Can I be honest?” Sana asked quietly, feeling the tips of her ears burn.

“That’s the whole point of this,” Nayeon pointed out, motioning between them, “What’s said in here never really leaves.”

“Well, I’ve never kissed her, that part is true,” Sana admitted, “But I mean…I’ve thought about it. A lot.”

“Well duh,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, “She’s beautiful! You’re beautiful too.”

“And I mean,” Sana bit her lip, “I get why you’d ask. Your points are fair, they’re quite valid, actually. Because it makes me think of proximity theory—you’re familiar with Gestalt psychology, right?”

“Its not my strongest suit,” Nayeon shook her head, “I’ve only really read Jungian theories, I would remember if I read about proximity, so…”

“Well, in Gestalt psychology, human perception is based on seven structures of how the brain perceives things,” Sana explained, “It helps explain problem solving, one specifically being law of proximity.”

“Which is…?”

“So, humans are more likely to group things,” Sana tried to use her hands, placing her cups on the desk, nearby. Taking Nayeon’s lemonade cup, she placed it next to her lemonade, but keeping her noodle cup a tad bit separated, “What can you tell me about these cups?”

“Well you grouped the two lemonades together,” Nayeon was quick to observe.

“I asked about the cups,” Sana clarified, “There’s three cups. But you were quick to group them together, yeah?”

“Well I mean you placed them closer to each other than the other cup—oh,” Nayeon realized, “Proximity. Habitual grouping.”

“Precisely,” Sana nodded, handing Nayeon her lemonade back, “We like to group things, perceiving and putting things into categories to make it easier to conceptualize them. Obviously…Gestaltism is more a perception-based psychological theory, similarly more associated with cognitive psychology. But the idea remains, its one that you see in other things. This includes social psychology, proximity principle exist in that people who are around specific people more, will be grouped with them. In these groups, you will see that the longer two people are close to one another, aka proximity, the more likely they will be to cultivate a relationship. If you think about it, you and Jeongyeon and Jihyo are associated with one another, but you will always be more closely associated with Jeongyeon as she is to you, because you two are in a relationship.”

“…I get you,” Nayeon nodded, listening very carefully to Sana’s musings, “But in this case…your closest and longest friendship is…”

“Momo,” Sana confirmed.

“So?” Nayeon questioned, “What are you implying? Proximity principle is essentially telling you you should have been in a relationship with Momo?”

“Not that,” Sana blushed, “I’m saying…what usually stops me from ever trying anything with Mina…is Momo. Sure, Mina and I are close. We have the same energy, if that makes sense. She’s impulsive and can keep up with my sometimes reckless behavior, we spend a lot of time together, proximity tells me it could work.”

“But Momo stops you?” Nayeon seemed to not understand, “Like, actually?”

“No,” Sana shook her head, “I-I just…I don’t know how to explain it. Momo. That’s all I can really say, Mina is beautiful. She’s cute and she reciprocates my affections. But…Momo does too. She’s beautiful—she’s strong and she’s been such an anchor to me for years, as I was to her when we were kids. Mina treats her carefully, I treat her carefully. I can’t look at Mina without seeing Momo, it doesn’t work that way. And vice versa. I-I don’t know…”

“You sound conflicted,” Nayeon was now leaning on her desk, resting her head in her hand leaning on her elbow, trying to understand Sana’s tangents, “Let me ask this…have you ever kissed Momo?”

“No,” Sana shook her head immediately, “I would never want to make her uncomfortable by pressuring her into something like that.”

“Okay,” Nayeon held a hand to stop Sana, “Okay see—there’s something I don’t know. I’m thinking Momo is straight—you’re telling me you’d never put her in a position like that? Let me ask this…have you ever thought about kissing Momo?”

Sana felt a sinking pressure in the center of her chest, nerves and something like guilt starting to ebb away her denial. “I…” She trailed off, “Sometimes.”

“Like…recently? Or was this a childhood thing?”

“…Both?”

“So, you do have something for her,” Nayeon snapped her fingers, “But…she’s straight?”

“I don’t—” Sana was starting to lose her nerve, “I don’t know. That’s not anything I try to push about.”

“How come?”

“She doesn’t like to think about it,” Sana could tell she was becoming defensive, feeling her voice get a bit snippy, “Its something she’s told me she’s not the best with dealing with.”

“Chill,” Nayeon held her hands up in surrender, “I didn’t mean to bug you.”

“No,” Sana sighed, rubbing her temples tiredly, feeling her shoulders drop, “Its not that. Its not that at all. I-I just…I get protective, I guess?”

“S’okay,” Nayeon reached over, patting Sana’s hand with her own, “I’m sorry if I’m prying. We can stop talking about it if you want?”

“But I kind of need to air this out,” Sana admitted, “Its been eating at me for ages. I think about kissing Momo—I also think about kissing Mina. It drives me crazy. I can’t kiss Momo, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I can’t kiss Mina, I don’t even know what she feels about me in that sense. I can’t try with either of them, I’m crossing a boundary in friendships that don’t come by in life very often. I would rather just let it sit in my head until it eventually disappears.”

“Have the thoughts of Momo ever disappeared?” Nayeon asked.

“Well…not really,” Sana quietly admitted.

“So…what makes you think the thoughts about Mina are going to go away too?” Nayeon shook her head, “I get wanting to hold it back. But think about it, if your happiness comes from one of them—why are you depriving yourself of that?”

“Because my happiness comes from both of them,” Sana’s admittance came with a heavy silence, “…I don’t know Nayeon. I know you’re probably looking at me and thinking of how ridiculous I’m being, maybe its like when you can’t decide if you want to eat strawberries or like…like drink coffee or something.”

“Those are two very different things,” Nayeon let out a small laugh, watching Sana carefully.

“But they’re both so good,” Sana sighed, “And sometimes you want one, sometimes you want the other. But they both make you happy regardless.”

Nayeon opened a drawer, taking out a notepad and beginning to write down a few things, “…You’re quite an empathetic being Sana.”

“I’m just tired,” Sana admitted, “And I need to get laid, like…badly. I don’t usually go this long without hooking up.”

“…Is hooking up some form of coping you use to distract yourself from the affections you crave from Momo and Mina? A sort of way to displace these feelings you feel guilty for onto something that appears a bit more socially understandable?”

It felt like a huge slap to the face.

“…I’m the psychology major,” Sana snipped, “Not you. You don’t get to be asking these questions when—”

“Chillllll,” Nayeon laughed, tearing the paper and folding it, placing it into the pocket of her button up shirt, “Relax Sana. I’m not going to judge. I swear on it.”

“Please,” Sana pleaded, “I’ll get over it eventually, I’m pretty sure. I get over a lot of my crushes after periods of time, I fall in love fast, remember?”

Chapter Text

March 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 3:03 AM

Mina cracked her bedroom door open, eyes begging to close up again but forcing them to stay open, considering using a ice mask. Instead, Mina was surprised to see both Momo and Sana in the kitchen already, turning to greet Mina with big smiles.

“….Good morning?” Mina questioned, “Why are you guys up so—”

“Happy birthday!” Sana was somehow already wide awake, rushing over and pulling Mina into a tight hug, spinning her slightly from her force. Mina yelped just a bit, Sana’s hair tickling her nose as she hugged her tight. Sana was all warmth and joy, the sound of her laughter ringing in Mina’s barely functioning brain.

“Happy birthday,” Momo was much more reserved, beaming excitedly to Mina and throwing her arms around both her and Sana, lifting them both off the ground as she usually did. Sana laughed at the affection, Mina was still a bit thrown off from their energy.

“Thank you—” Mina said gratefully, being squished between the two, shutting her eyes at the warmth of their bodies, feeling even more sleepy. “…Why are you guys up so early?” She felt a bit breathless.

“You think we’d miss out seeing you off on your big 21?” Sana asked, “You’d be dead wrong!”

“We’re not going to sleep in on your birthday,” Momo scoffed, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

“Or just sleep tonight,” Sana pointed out, “But its your birthday! I wouldn’t be able to sleep even if I tried.”

“I made you breakfast,” Momo smiled.

“I supported her from behind the counter very well,” Sana added. Momo nodded.

“I couldn’t have done it without her support,” Momo confirmed, very seriously, while Sana giggled. Mina loved the sound of Sana’s laugh. Mina also loved the way Momo smiled softly.

“Well, thank you guys,” Mina repeated, feeling grateful as they led her to the low table, where she took a seat. A sweet aroma overtook her senses, it smelled of cinnamon and maple, Mina took another deep breath, feeling very nostalgic.

“Is that…” She focused, “…Pancakes?”

“Surprise!” Sana emphasized, while Momo brought a plate of freshly made pancakes, nearly perfect in shape and color, a beautiful golden brown. “Momoring made pancakes! You mentioned you used to eat them every birthday when you were a kid, yes?”

“Yeah…” Mina stared at the plate handed to her in awe, three beautifully stacked pancakes with whipped cream, cinnamon, and strawberries in bowls as her sides. “Momo these are pretty pancakes.”

“Duh,” Momo snorted, as her and Sana took their respective seats, “Like I’d fuck up a plate for you.”

Mina laughed slightly, blinking a bit as a memory pulled from the back of her brain, “…My grandma used to make me pancakes for my birthday,” She recalled, “Hers were always so pretty to look at.”

“I don’t know if I’d do your grandma justice,” Momo blushed, “But I hope I put at least as much care as she did. And since Sana was supporting so well, its like double the love.”

“Triple,” Sana corrected, “I supported like that of two people.”

Mina laughed, a genuine small laugh coming out from her lips as she looked between Momo and Sana affectionately, feeling it in the center of her chest. “Thank you,” She repeated, hoping her tone emulated her feelings, “I’m glad I got to see you two before going to work.”

“Are you still up to go out after work?” Sana questioned, “Nayeon and Jeongyeon said they’d treat you to that grill place—they insisted its a thank you for helping out with Jihyo.”

“Speaking of Jihyo,” Momo mumbled, “I need to make her a smoothie before we head out.”

“That’s cute you keep making smoothies for her,” Mina scrunched her nose, taking a bite of perfectly fluffy pancakes, wanting to moan in satisfaction—

“…I’m guessing they’re very good,” Sana giggled, ears burning at the tips. Mina’s eyes widened, looking to see Momo trying to keep a neutral expression but her cheeks were flushing.

“…I did that out loud, didn’t I?” Mina questioned, feeling her own face explode in embarrassment, “Oh my fucking god—”

“Its okay,” Momo quickly reassured her, laughing away the awkwardness, “At least I know they’re good.”

“They’re really good,” Mina confirmed, taking another bite, “You’re a genius at this, Momo.”

“So, aside from being on the air—anything new happening today?” Sana changed the topic.

“Not really,” Mina chewed, “I just have to set a very strict boundary with a coworker—”

“Eh?” Momo’s expression changed, “Is someone messing with you again?”

“No, no,” Mina shook her head, “He’s quite sweet actually. Very charming, very polite. But apparently, he’s the most eligible bachelor at work…and he really likes talking to me. I really don’t want people to get the wrong idea, its my first job and I—”

“Don’t even worry,” Sana shook her head, “You do what you need to do. Even if he’s not trying to get with you, make it known you’re not interested. Just to be cautious. You can handle yourself, I trust that well enough.”

“Who is it?” Momo questioned.

“The 8 AM news anchor,” Mina sighed, “Park Seonghwa.”

“That’s right!” Sana realized, “You know him! Whoa—he’s your coworker. Whoa—”

“Chill,” Momo patted Sana’s shoulder, “She hasn’t gotten laid in like two months and its getting to her.”

“Shut up,” Sana scowled, “I’m fine. Its been a while but I’m not dying or anything. Park Seonghwa is just a very handsome man to look at on the screen.”

“Well I have to tell him to not be so friendly,” Mina frowned, “He’s a very polite man, I’ll tell you that. But I’m not going to deal with rumors.”

“Absolutely,” Momo nodded, “Don’t let some sleazy dude ruin it all over again.”

“He’s not sleazy,” Sana insisted, “He looks quite clean and professional.”

“He’s not sleazy,” Mina confirmed, “He’s very nice, actually. He’s not like the other dude, old and gross. God, just thinking about him makes me want to sock his face. I’m just glad he grew some common sense and left you guys alone every time you came by.”

“I’m glad he left you alone too,” Sana nodded in agreement, “I don’t know what I would have done if he decided to keep being a creep.”

She finished her food, Sana eagerly took her plate to wash. Mom helped Mina up, pulling her into a hug, swaying them slightly.

“You’re affectionate today,” Mina pointed out, but still let herself melt into Momo’s arms, she was very strong, the strongest of them three. Mina could feel the way her muscles flexed as she tightened her arms around Mina’s shoulders, Mina let her arms slip around Momo’s waist.

“I’m just happy is all,” Momo sighed contently, burying her nose into Mina’s neck, “You’re 21. That’s a big milestone. 21 and living in your third country, with a whole career ahead of you.”

She pulled away, Mina kept her arms wrapped around her for a moment, smiling. Momo was always more affectionate than she’d like to admit, Mina enjoyed her pouts and looks of longing, she liked that Momo was always seeking affection like Sana but simply waited. It made when she initiated it much more pleasant.

“You two are cute,” Sana slowly walked back over to them, smiling warmly, “Very cute.”

“Its a gift,” Mina shrugged, offering an arm open for Sana, who took to it immediately. Now, Mina’s arms were wrapped around both of their waists respectively. Sana’s waist was smaller, but Momo’s was sturdier, her back much more defined. Each bringing something different to the table, and Mina enjoyed them both, “You two are my gifts this year.”

“Technically the pearls were your gifts,” Momo joked, Mina could feel her lips right near her ear.

“Just take the compliment,” Sana was on her other ear, laughing breathily at Momo’s snark.

Mina laughed, hugging them tighter, not really wanting to let go from how warm and welcoming they felt together. “Just a moment longer,” She insisted, feeling both their hands on her back, pressing into her. Sana’s was more confident, holding her by the small of her back, and Momo’s was more gentle, as if she was afraid she was going to hurt Mina if she hugged too hard.

Both bringing different things, but Mina loved them both equally, in different ways. What a strange way for her to describe it, but there felt no other fitting explanation.

March 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:19 AM

The first thing Mina did as soon as she pushed the doors open was make a beeline to the makeup trailer, knowing damn well Seonghwa would definitely be there already. He had made it a habit to visit her in the trailer while Yeosang styled her, apparently they were good friends.

Sure enough, Mina saw him sitting in one of the seats, it was otherwise empty, aside from Yeosang who arrived extra early to lay out clothes and accessories for the reporters and anchors.

“Mina,” Seonghwa smiled, closing the book her had been reading, “Good morning—”

“Seonghwa,” Mina held her hand up to stop him, which he surprisingly did, looking down to her hand a bit confused, “I need to say something.”

His expression morphed from confusion to near dread, face paling. “Oh boy,” He sighed, placing his book down and standing up, running a hand through his damp hair, “I think I need to say something too, then.”

“I really need to say this,” Mina insisted.

“Please let me explain,” He pleaded.

“Just let me make something clear—”

“Let me clear things up—”

“I’m not interested in you like that.”

Mina’s eyes widened, she could see Seonghwa’s doing the exact same. They looked to each other without missing a beat, processing the others’ words at the same time. Mina felt a giant release in the center of her chest, she let out a breath of relief. Just as Seonghwa let his eyes close, shoulders dropping at the tension relief. “Oh thank god,” He sighed, bringing his fingers to rub his nose bridge, “Oh thank god—you really aren’t?”

“No,” Mina laughed in relief, feeling much more relaxed, “Absolutely not!’

“This is great!” He seemed ecstatic at her claim.

“And you’re not interested in me?” Mina questioned.

“No!”

“This is great!” Mina reconfirmed, clapping her hands together as they laughed, brushing away at the awkward tension around them, “I’m sorry—” She quickly apologized, “I didn’t think your actions were flirtatious at all—”

“I was really trying not to,” He confirmed, “I was really trying to be careful with my boundaries in that.”

“But some of the camera crew started telling me about how desirable you are around the studio—”

Seonghwa groaned.

“—And I didn’t want to jeopardize either of our careers—”

“Its okay to be worried about your career,” Seonghwa reassured, “I’m very aware how differently they might treat you over me.”

“—So I just thought maybe I would need to set some boundaries—,” Mina felt she was rambling, “But I see now it wasn’t necessary.”

“I get it,” he nodded, placing a hand over his chest, “I really do. I get why you wouldn’t want to stir up anything. I know you’re working your way up. Believe me, it wasn’t my intention at all to make you worry about anything. I just like spending time with you because you’re relatively quiet compared to other coworkers. You’re very to yourself and I like that because I can be like that too.”

“You’re very good company,” Mina nodded, “Because all you like to do is read or do your hair. I should have known sooner quite honestly but rumors were getting the better of me—”

“I see I might be interrupting,” Yeosang’s very deep voice made Mina flinch, both their heads turning to see Yeosang standing with a few hangers in his hands, different blazers hanging off of them.

“Yeosang!” Seonghwa greeted, “You’re not interrupting anything. Mina and I were just clarifying some miscommunications.”

“Oh?” Yeosang’s face was still so striking to look at, in Mina’s eyes. He certainly was not meant to be behind a camera, but if his passion was makeup and hair—who was she to stop him? “You told her?”

“Yes, he did,” Mina confirmed, “I feel a lot better being around him since I know—”

“—That he’s gay, right?”

There was a few beats of dead silence.

“…Yeosang…” Seonghwa trailed off, bringing his hands to his face again, rubbing his nose bridge to keep himself calm, “I did not tell her that part.”

Yeosang’s expression remained neutral, his only tell was the way his pupils shrank slightly, lips pursing. “Oh,” Was all he said, looking around, “…I’m kidding?”

“Wait,” Mina reached to hold Seonghwa’s arm, looking to him, “You?”

Seonghwa looked like he wanted to disappear right on the spot, “Please don’t tell anyone—”

“You?” Mina pointed to him again, “Gay?”

“I’m begging,” Seonghwa held her by her shoulders, “This…this could ruin me! I’d rather be seen as a womanizer than have that come out in the studio!”

“Seonghwa—” Mina grabbed him by his shoulders as well, sure to make sure he could feel her presence, “Relax.”

“…You’re not going to say anything?” He sounded meek, wistful in his tone.

“I won’t,” Mina shook her head, “I promise.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa breathed another sigh of relief for the second time that day, patting her shoulders in thanks. Mina took a breath, looking around once more to ensure they were truly alone. Just the three of them.

“…Me too,” Mina patted his shoulders, winking to Yeosang. Yeosang’s eyes widened in surprise, pointing to her in confusion.

“You too what?” Seonghwa looked up to her unsurely.

“You?” Yeosang was reeling, “You too?”

“Yes,” Mina laughed, feeling ten times more lighter, “Yes—I’m gay.”

“What?” Seonghwa perked back up, holding Mina again with wide eyes, “You are?!”

“I am!” Mina confirmed, nodding vigorously.

“Oh my god,” Seonghwa gasped out, “Can I hug you?”

“Yes!” Mina grinned, feeling Seonghwa pull her into a hug, holding her firmly as he sighed his third sigh of relief in the span of five minutes, “This is—oh my god!” She could feel the way he ran a hand down her hair, as if caressing her, “You beautiful lesbian!” He pulled back.

“You gorgeous gay!” She cheered, “I knew it! I knew you weren’t hitting on me!”

“I knew you weren’t interested in me!” Seonghwa grinned right back.

“I’m gay too,” Yeosang pointed out, “Can I have a hug?”

“Get in here!” Mina opened her arm out, as Yeosang joined in, Seonghwa laughing and patting Yeosang’s back.

“I’m not alone,” Mina breathed out, “I mean—I know a few other queer women outside of work—”

“But its so nice to know its not just us,” Seonghwa motioned to Yeosang, “Its been just me and him here for so long.”

“Are you two—” Mina motioned between them. Seonghwa and Yeosang looked to each other, bursting out laughing.

“Oh no,” Seonghwa shook his head, “No, no.”

“I have a partner,” Yeosang held a hand to his chest, “He’s very sweet and I’m very happy with him.”

“And he’s a very lovely guy,” Seonghwa complimented, “The youngest but somehow feels like the oldest.”

“Its his suits,” Yeosang joked, “They make him age ten years.”

“What about you?” Seonghwa questioned, “Any special woman in your life?”

“Well no, not like that…” Mina shook her head, “I live with two best friends though, and I’ve grown up with them these past few years, so I suppose they’re my focus at the moment. You could say they’re the most important relationships in my life. Though one of them is bisexual and finds you excruciatingly beautiful to look at.”

Seonghwa chuckled, “I’m flattered.”

“You know…” Mina remembered, “I’m supposed to go out tonight with some friends. Its…uhm…well its my birthday today.”

“What?” Seonghwa gasped, Yeosang smiled.

“Happy birthday,” He smiled, taking Mina’s hands into his own, “You lovely, lovely woman.”

“Would you two like to join me?” Mina offered, “I can pay for you.”

“Oh no,” Yeosang shook his head, “May I bring my partner? He insists to pay for everything.”

“Of course!” Mina insisted, “The more the merrier!”

“We’d love to come,” Seonghwa smiled, “Happy birthday Mina.”

“This is probably the best birthday I’ve had so far in a long time,” Mina chuckled out, “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders—”

“It feels great,” Seonghwa sighed out, “To finally trust someone.”

“Plus this whole conversation went down a hell of a lot better than the last time I had to have a conversation with a colleague about his attitude,” Mina muttered under her breath, mostly to herself, “A hell of a lot better. I didn’t even have to threaten you—”

“…You what?” Yeosang questioned but the conversation moved on before anything could be acknowledged. As if by perfect timing, Seonghwa’s pager went off. “I best head out,” He grabbed his book, pulling Mina into another hug, “I’ll be more mindful of course though,” He promised, waving them off.

“Let’s get you some birthday curls,” Yeosang took out the curlers, “How does that sound?”

“Lovely,” Mina smiled, “Very lovely.”

March 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 6:26 PM

Mina arrived to the restaurant alongside Momo and Sana, all coming in Momo’s truck for the convenience of it. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo had already arrived, having gotten a rather large table when Mina mentioned she may have invited more people. No one batted an eye at it, it was her birthday after all—and Sana was more than eager to get to know the handsome, elusive, gay Park Seonghwa, though, of course, that last part was for them only.

“Happy birthday,” Nayeon and Jeongyeon had greeted her with a tight hug, Mina smiled at their affection.

“Thank you two,” Mina bowed slightly, “You didn’t have to take me out.”

“Ah, I owe her a tab,” Jeongyeon motioned to Momo, “Its a two for one deal.”

“She means killing two birds with one stone,” Nayeon clarified.

“No,” Jeongyeon shook her head, “I get to drink and see someone else possibly get hammered. Its a two for one deal.”

“Happy birthday!” Jihyo had pulled Mina into her own hug, the teen had a much stronger grip than Mina gave her credit for, “You’re 21. That’s crazy. You’re still the second youngest in this group.”

“I kind of like it,” Mina shrugged, “I like being young.”

“Weird,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, looking away as she handed Mina a box, “Here or whatever. Its a gift.”

“For me?” Mina teased.

“Who else would it be for?” Jihyo snarked right back.

Mina smiled, opening the lid of the box to see an t-shirt, neatly folded, looking to it in confusion.

“Is this…Mortal Kombat?” Mina gasped out, seeing the logo design, “Dude—! This shirt barely came out like a few weeks ago!”

“I know,” Jihyo was looking to her hands, “I saw your video game collection. I don’t know what any of the hell that stuff is—but I guess that’s the perks of your best friend being a 14 year old boy. He knew exactly what I was talking about. So I guess this is really from me and Nayeon-unnie, and Jeongyeon-unnie, and Sannie. He’s just cool like that.”

“This is amazing Jihyo,” Mina pulled the teen into a hug, “Thank you.”

“Hey chill,” Jihyo patted her back, hugging her back tighter than she was letting on, “I just figured you’d like it…you know…since you like nerd shit…even though you make look cooler…and shit.”

Mina was talking amongst everyone when Seonghwa and Yeosang arrived, along with another guy, wearing a businesslike suit as they entered in.

“Seonghwa—” Mina greeted happily, leading them to the table, “These are my friends.”

“Mister Park Seonghwa,” Nayeon whistled, “You’re very popular amongst the women in our age demographic—”

“Very handsome to look at too,” Sana giggled, “Very nice to meet you.”

“That’s Nayeon and Sana,” Mina shook her head, “This is Nayeon’s friend, Jeongyeon, this is my other friend Momo, and this is my friend Jihyo.”

“This is well, Seonghwa,” Mina rolled her eyes, “You know this. This is my makeup artist, Yeosang. And this is their…mutual friend—”

“Jongho,” The guy came and firmly shook Mina’s had, with a round face and a serious demeanor, “Happy birthday, I’m told.”

“He’s just being a butt,” Yeosang lightly tapped Jongho’s arm, “Be nice.”

Jongho broke into a grin, a big one at that, looking much younger when he smiled. “Who’s the strongest drinker?”

“That would be me,” Jeongyeon motioned to herself. “Or me,” Momo added, “We’re thinking about trying to figure it out.”

“I’ll sit with you all then,” Jongho went right over, motioning for shots to round their table, “I need a challenge.”

“I like you,” Jeongyeon held her hand for him to shake, which he took firmly, “How old are you kid?”

“21,” He said firmly.

“Your friend just uh…stole my…my friend,” Nayeon attempted as the two began to talk animatedly with each other.

“He does that,” Yeosang shrugged.

March 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:38 PM

It was about halfway through the dinner that Nayeon grew curious. She had yet to drink, a piece of her felt a bit odd drinking around Jihyo—maybe it was that mother/daughter bond they very obviously acknowledged but occasionally danced around. Maybe it was the fear that Jihyo wouldn’t enjoy the concept of Nayeon being tipsy. Of course, Nayeon was older and wiser—getting shitfaced wasn’t on her agenda anymore.

So, in her sober state, as usual, Nayeon was noticing. A lot. And the thing she noticed the most, was how Mina and Sana were acting. When their skin grew a little more flushed and their cheeks got obviously rosy. When Sana kept offering lemon slices to Mina, who in turn, sucked each and every one. Mina had a weird sense of taste, Nayeon couldn’t help but chuckle at, ketchup and lemons. How odd.

It wasn’t just obvious things like that though. It was the subtleties. It was how Sana always gazed to Mina adoringly every time the woman spoke up. It was how Mina kept her arm behind Sana when Sana laughed and threw herself back, catching her from toppling over. It was the way that Sana had dropped her shot glass and bent down to pick it up, and Mina’s hand instinctively rested against the edge of the table, ensuring Sana did not bump into it. Instead, Sana’s head brushed against Mina’s palm, even in their half-drunk states.

It was cute. It was endearing.

It was odd.

Nayeon isn’t sure why they stuck out to her, they just did. Maybe its because Sana reminded Nayeon all too much of herself and Mina was a soft-spoken lesbian in such a huge world. Maybe it was because Nayeon saw potential, she considered herself quite a gifted matchmaker (she could imagine Yoongi’s sarcastic tone, correcting her and stating, “meddler.”) Nayeon wasn’t a meddler. She was a born and raised researcher. And she simply just needed a bit more notes on this budding chemistry.

“You’re not going to drink?” Jihyo interrupted Nayeon’s constant musings.

“Huh?” Nayeon turned slightly, seeing Jihyo staring up to her, slouching as she ate, mouth full.

“You’re not going to take a shot or anything?” Jihyo repeated with her mouth full. Nayeon couldn’t hide her chuckle even if she tried. It was hard to scold Jihyo, because most of the time, Jihyo really didn’t know any better. She was still a kid, in Nayeon’s eyes at least. A kid learning her place in this world when it felt as if everything had taken a turn for the worst. Nayeon couldn’t even fathom the idea of ever getting mad at Jihyo, really.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Nayeon gave a bemused smile, while Jihyo only rolled her eyes as she hurriedly chewed to continue their conversation, “Or at least cover your mouth if you are. And I don’t think so.”

“How come?” Jihyo managed out when she had swallowed after a beat of silence.

“To be honest?” Nayeon admitted since she could never really lie to the kid, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Jihyo blinked a few times, tilting her head slightly curiously. “You don’t want to make me…uncomfortable?”

“Mhm,” Nayeon nodded, taking a small bit of meat off the grill, blowing onto it before offering it to Jihyo expectantly. “Eat,” Nayeon gently offered, holding it out for Jihyo to take.

“…I’ll be okay you know,” Jihyo mumbled, but listened regardless, eating the piece from Nayeon’s chopsticks, “If you drink.” This time, Jihyo shielded her mouth with her hand as she chewed.

“Its just something new,” Nayeon shrugged, voice going quieter, “I know how your childhood was. The last thing I want is to fuck up.”

“I trust you, though,” Jihyo bluntly stated, “More than anything in the world, unnie.”

“I get that, but—”

Jihyo shook her head, “…You’re not him, you know? I-I…I appreciate your consideration, really. But I’m 17, not 7. And eventually I’m going to see the world, and I don’t know if I’ll ever drink, but I’m going to have to be around people who do—” She gestured around them, how everyone was lost in their own conversation, laughing and clapping as they ate, “And they do it well, you know? I want to be able to handle it. I want to learn how to handle it well.”

Nayeon weighed her options. “How about I show you?” She offered, “I’ll take a shot, and you’ll see how it works. I’m only doing maximum two though, because I also think one of us should be a little more level-headed.”

“Okay,” Jihyo nodded eagerly, “Besides, Mina, Momo, and Sana all drink. I think they’re pretty cool—especially Mina. They handle it well—”

As if on cue, Mina leaned to them, still grinning from whatever the hell they others were laughing about. Probably Jeongyeon, Nayeon snorted affectionately, that life-of-the-party woman could never not make the crowd love her.

“Ever sucked on a lemon slice?” Mina suddenly drawled out, eyes a bit dazed but mostly just looking incredibly happy, holding the slice to Jihyo. Jihyo’s eyes widened a bit at the closeness, Nayeon tilted her head curiously.

“I—uh…well…no—” Jihyo managed, straightening up just a bit more, “A lemon slice? Like…by itself?”

“Yeah,” Mina eagerly nodded, offering the fresh slice to Jihyo like it was the greatest treat to exist, “Wanna try one?”

Nayeon knew Jihyo wasn’t fond of too much citrus flavors. Jeongyeon’s curry fried rice recipe had to be adjusted accordingly during Jihyo’s pregnancy, and it sort of stuck. Even the lemonade she preferred to drink was more sugar than tart. Jihyo loved her berries and very little citrus. This was just fact.

“Sure!” Jihyo instead responded with just a little too much enthusiasm. Nayeon used every bit of her willpower to hold back her cackle, watching Jihyo give a brace-filled toothy overly-wide grin. Too excitedly taking the lemon slice from a beaming Mina, staring down at it like it wasn’t the most acidic thing in the world.

“Just suck on it like this—” Mina brought the slice to her lips, biting into the flesh and Nayeon shivered thinking about the burn on her chapped lips.

“Yeah—totally—” Jihyo nodded a little too vigorously, imitating Mina just as she did. Nayeon didn’t hold her snort in this time around, seeing the way Jihyo’s eyebrows raised at the shock and furrowed at the flavor. But for the most part, she was doing really good at pretending like she didn’t want to gag.

“Pretty good, right?” Mina had long since finished her slice, tossing it off to her own little pile beside her untouched water, grinning with her swollen, reddish lips. Nayeon also observed the way Jihyo kept her lips pursed, obviously not used to the proximity, eyes brushing down to look to Mina’s lips for just a brief amount of time that it wouldn’t be suspicious to anyone else. But Nayeon wasn’t everyone else, Nayeon knew and observed everything.

“…Totally!” Jihyo gave an almost convincing tight-lipped smile, “Sooo good. You smell like lemon, too. I-I’m guessing this is a thing you love a lot.”

“I love lemons,” Mina grinned once again. Without another word, she turned back around, sliding right back in to the other side’s conversation, leaving Jihyo and Nayeon back into their own little sphere.

Jihyo turned to Nayeon, gagging. “What the hell is wrong with Americans?” She grunted, spitting into her napkin as Nayeon could only giggle, handing Jihyo a glass of water.

“You could have just said no,” Nayeon pointed out softly. Jihyo only groaned, letting her head fall onto the table with an unceremonious thud. Nayeon reached over, brushing through the strands of Jihyo’s hair.

“You don’t get it—” Jihyo whined, “I don’t know why I can’t say no to her. I just want her to think I’m like…cool too. Or something. She smells really good too—what shampoo do you think she uses?”

Oh you precious child, Nayeon couldn’t help but think, knowing very well Jihyo was just always going to be like this. A bit behind, learning social skills as she grew up, because whether anyone wanted to realize it or not, she was deprived of such simplicities. She was deprived of stumbling over her words in elementary school, she was deprived of giggling with school girls in middle school. She was deprived of having a young school-age crush on a fellow student in high school. It was always going to be like this, and Nayeon was more than willing to simply just wait. Hands in her lap, simply waiting for Jihyo to catch up. For some sort of normalcy—because at the end of the day, its the least she deserved.

“This is soju,” Nayeon grabbed the bottle that hadn’t been opened just yet, “Its pretty much the most drank alcohol here in South Korea. Its fermented rice—distilled and usually drank without anything else—”

Jihyo listened, intently. Nayeon simply talked.

March 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:59 PM

Momo ended up helping guide a tipsy Sana and a more than buzzed Mina to their apartment. One hand wrapped around each of them.

“You sure you got it?” Jeongyeon questioned, cheeks flushed but giving no other sign she had drank the most out of anyone that night. Even Nayeon’s cheeks were more red, and she only had about like…two shots.

“I’ll be good,” Momo smiled, “Its not my first time helping them like this.”

“You’re a good friend,” Nayeon winked, “You got real nice strong arms too—”

“And she needs to go to bed too,” Jeongyeon wrapped an arm around her, while Jihyo snickered at the two, “See you later.”

“Goodnight,” Jihyo waved them off.

“Goodnight!” Mina grinned, Sana waved excitedly while Momo opened the door, guiding the two to come in.

“Oh, tomorrow is going to be a pain,” Mina mumbled, looking at the time. It was essentially 9, which given she needed to be up around 3 AM, Momo knew it was in fact, going to be an absolute pain.

“Sorry,” Momo blushed, feeling apologetic as the two sat on the couch and she made her way to the kitchen, getting them much needed glasses of water, “I didn’t think we’d end up staying out so long.”

“Its okay,” Mina slurred, Sana was now full on cuddling her, laying between Mina’s legs and resting her head on Mina’s chest, sighing. “I was fully prepared for this,” Mina joked, letting Sana lay on her and running her hands through Sana’s hair, “It was worth it.”

“I’d hope so,” Momo smiled, bring two cups of water for them, sitting on the couch on the other side.

“I’m surprised you’re not feeling anything,” Sana mumbled, sipping her water tiredly, “You got a crazy liver.”

“I’m just a heavy drinker,” Momo shrugged, “I mean I feel a little bit looser. That’s kind of it.”

“Oh I feel loose alright—” Sana winked.

“I hate you,” Momo rolled her eyes, watching Mina and Sana continue to be affectionate.

“…Thank you guys,” Mina held Sana, but looked directly to Momo, eyes a bit glazed over from the alcohol. Her cheeks were flushed, a very cute shade of red Momo never really noticed. Her makeup was a bit smudged, as was Sana’s, but they somehow made it look appealing. Momo didn’t think she could pull something like that off. Mina’s lips were swollen from absentmindedly sucking on lemons, a strange habit she had that she insisted she used to snack on as a kid, looking a bit blistered as she kept licking her lips.

“Its your birthday,” Sana smiled, “Of course we were going to make a celebration of it.”

“Still,” Mina sighed, “It always means a lot. Every year since I met you guys…you make my birthdays feel a lot more appealing than they did when I was a kid…I got special pancakes from my grandma, and then she passed away and it was like…just not a big deal anymore. I didn’t really want to celebrate it without her, because she was kind of like the last happy thing in my family.”

Momo stayed quiet, listening carefully as Mina spoke. She could see the way Sana lifted her head, staring right to Mina, soaking every word they could, because Mina was like Momo in that they never liked to talk about their childhoods like that. Sana knew the most of Momo, Mina gave out bits and pieces every once in a while. Such as now.

“And…I don’t know, no one really made it a deal after my tenth—so I just stopped caring,” Mina admitted, “And then on my seventeenth birthday you guys made me a cake—”

“I made it,” Momo corrected.

“I supported her from the table,” Sana added.

“Right,” Mina laughed a bit, even Momo smiled at just how in sync her and Sana were after so many years, “Momoring made me a cake. Satang was very good support. And it was like I felt a little bit of love in it for the first time in years. So thank you both. Because every year I feel like I look more forward to my birthday than I did before.”

Momo smiled, Sana beamed. Mina looked to both of them, already shying away from her speech, biting her swollen lips. “I should get to bed,” Mina patted Sana, “Go cuddle Momo.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Sana snorted, sitting up and throwing her arm around Momo’s waist, hugging her from an odd angle, “I’ll cuddle either of you whenever and however you want me to.”

“I appreciate that,” Mina joked, stretching. Momo could feel herself staring, watching Mina’s shirt ride up slightly, her stomach was toned and pale. She was fit, maybe not buff in the way Momo liked to be, but fit, from her summers spent swimming and her winters spent jogging, lean and fit, and much stronger than she appeared.

“…Staring?” Mina suddenly disrupted Momo’s thought, giving a small smirk, “Its okay, I know I’m hot.”

Momo sputtered, Sana giggled a bit at Mina’s boldness. Truthfully, this shouldn’t have embarrassed Momo as much as it did, Mina when she had lowered inhibition was incredibly bold and flirtatious. “I-I wasn’t staring,” Momo insisted, “I was zoned out.”

“Zoned out on me,” Mina clarified, “Its okay to check someone out, Momoring. Its pretty natural.”

“She’s right,” Sana encouraged, “Plus its Mina, she’s just hot.”

“Guys please—” Momo pleaded, feeling her face burn, “Go to bed.”

“Okay, okay,” Mina giggled, surrendering her hands, “I hear you. I’ll sleep.”

“Good,” Momo sighed, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt, “Goodnight Minari. Happy birthday.”

Mina leaned in, pulling Momo and Sana into a hug, holding them by their shoulders, head between the two. “You guys make every day more exciting,” Mina admitted quietly, ruffling their hair in her fingers. Without warning, Momo was face to face with Mina, getting a much better look at her from proximity. Her eyes were sparkling but glazed, as if she wasn’t fully present in the moment, but present enough to stare right into Momo’s eyes. Her cheeks were still red, a cute bright shade of red, her lips a similar color to match. Her makeup was nearly intact, but a bit smudged around her eyes, from the constant laughing they ended up doing at dinner. She still smelled like smoke from the grill and extra lemony. “Is it okay if I—?” Mina didn’t finish her statement, still a bit drunk, still a bit bolder. Instead, she leaned in, giving Momo a kiss right onto her cheek, beneath her right eye.

Momo stiffened at the action, Mina’s lips were warm and glossy, she smelled like lemon and vanilla beneath all the smoke, her lashes were so long Momo could feel them fluttering over her skin. A small shiver went down Momo’s spine, she felt an odd sensation in the pit of her stomach, something like butterflies and nerves.

“Whoa,” Sana’s voice brought Momo back to Earth, her eyes wide, face now turning entirely red, including her ears. “That was—”

“Shut up, Satang,” Mina laughed lightly, cupping Sana’s face and planting a kiss on Sana’s cheek as well, this time, Momo couldn’t tear her eyes away at the scene. Sana’s eyes widening, her nervous swallow. Mina’s lips pressing against Sana’s tanned skin, her hair falling slightly from behind her ear. The small noise of surprise Sana let out, the breathy laugh Mina let out, running her thumb over the spot she had kissed on Sana’s cheek. Momo’s mind felt blank but racing, soaking in every detail of their exchange.

“Goodnight,” Mina waved them off quietly, both of them watching as she disappeared off into her room, the door closing behind her. She tore her eyes away, looking to Sana, seeing she was still staring to where Mina had disappeared off to, mouth just a bit open in a daze.

“Momo…” Sana’s voice was quiet, turning over to her, face still blazing, “Are you okay?”

“I—” Momo brought her fingers up, gently brushing over the spot Mina had kissed, feeling as if her lips were still there, still warm, still very present. “I am,” She found herself nodding slowly.

“You promise?” Sana questioned, placing a steadying hand over her arm, “Its okay.”

“I really am okay,” Momo reassured, “That felt…that felt good.”

“Because…?”

Momo thought for a moment. “Because its Mina,” She finalized, “And Mina is good. Good to you, good to me. She’s just good.”

“She is good,” Sana agreed.

“Lets go to bed,” Momo stood up, still feeling flustered, feeling Sana’s arms wrap around her waist from behind, knowing fully well that Sana’s makeup was staining the back of her shirt, as Sana nuzzled her.

“…Can we cuddle?” Sana’s voice was muffled as they shuffled their way into their room.

“Yeah, yeah—” Momo was burning, “You can cuddle me or whatever.”

“Oh, I’m the big spoon?” Sana sounded pleasantly surprised.

“Shut up,” Momo snipped, feeling wholly embarrassed but the alcohol was making her feel a bit more affectionate. In any other scenario, Momo might have just taken everything back. But her mind was fuzzy and the alcohol was warm.

“Its not a bad thing!” Sana insisted, “I just didn’t think you’d actually take my offer seriously—”

“I’ll take it back right now,” Momo said hurriedly, “Because the longer you talk about it the more I lose my nerve.”

“I like to hold you Momoring,” Sana announced so proudly, Momo wasn’t sure what to feel. Her brain going haywire form such a small action of Mina’s chaste kiss, her heart stuttering at Sana’s liquid courage. Momo then recalled the slight shifting conversation from about a week ago, burning at the memory.

March 16th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:37 AM

"Good morning Momoring," Mina joked, waving her off, shutting the door behind her.

“…You guys think I’m cute,” Sana’s voice was groggy but smug, Momo didn’t jump too hard. She had an inkling of a feeling that Sana had woken up from all the noise. She simply was too groggy to bother trying to fully wake up just yet.

“Shush,” Momo whispered, laying back down on her sleeping mat, “Where did you hear such a thing?”

“From the direct source,” Sana whispered, eyes barely open as she turned to look to Momo smugly, eyes puffy.

“Go back to sleep,” Momo rolled her eyes, laying back down, “Jihyo is here by the way, with her babies.”

“How come?” Sana sat up, stretching, rubbing her eyes.

“Nayeon and Jeongyeon have the stomach flu,” Momo turned to get comfortable, “She asked if she could be here. Mina is with her.”

“How sweet,” Sana yawned, “Mina is sweet. You’re sweet too. You’re both sweet.”

“Thanks Satang,” Momo chuckled, “I’m going back to sleep—you should too.”

“Okay,” Sana agreed. Momo figured that’d be the end of it.

Until she felt a body of warmth against her back, Momo turned her head slightly, seeing Sana crawling to lay in Momo’s mat with her. “…Yes?” Momo questioned.

“When you’re in a relationship—are you the big or little spoon?”

Momo thought for a moment. “Little spoon,” She shrugged, “Most guys I’ve been with aren’t very keen on being held.”

“Do you like being the little spoon?” Sana questioned, Momo could feel her breath against her neck.

“I do,” Momo admitted, “Makes me feel safe in a sense.”

“Okay,” Sana said, before Momo could feel her beginning to squeeze closer, “Scootch over.”

“…What are you doing Satang?” Momo questioned.

“Cuddling,” Sana said as if it was the simplest thing, “The way you want to be cuddled.”

Even with her tiredness and nerves, Momo obeyed Sana’s insistence, adjusting until she could feel Sana’s body pressed up against her back, from the skin of Sana’s stomach to her chest, which was oddly comforting and warm as she pressed against Momo’s shoulder blades. She could feel Sana’s arm wrap around her, resting on the curve of her waist. Sana’s palm wasn’t as calloused as the guys Momo had been with, but she could feel the slight callouses from Sana’s constant writing. Her hand was a lot smoother, a lot more gentle as she pulled Momo closer. Their legs tangled together, Momo could smell the closeness of Sana’s shampoo.

“How’s this?” Sana asked quietly, she sounded so curious and tender, careful to not disturb the silence between them. Though, it didn’t feel entirely silent to Momo, feeling the way her heart was pounding. This was new—this was super new. Sana was always affectionate, always cuddly, but not like this. Not in the early morning hours holding Momo how Momo liked to be held by previous boyfriends.

“…Different,” Momo decided on, “I’ve never been held like this by another woman.” She wasn’t lying. Her voice was quieter than a whisper, as if she was afraid someone might barge in at any moment. Like she was doing this in secret, like this was something only to be done behind closed doors. Which felt strange—because for as nervous as the pit of her stomach was feeling, she felt incredibly warm in the center of her chest.

“Its sad, really,” Sana admitted, “That I’ve never tried to hold you when you always hold me.”

“I like to hold you,” Momo shrugged, feeling Sana’s hand absentmindedly run up and down Momo’s waist slightly, “I’ve never thought anything more than that.”

“But you should be held, too,” Sana pointed out, “You deserve to be. You know, of course, as long as you feel comfortable with it.”

“What’s got you all sentimental?”

“Just thinking,” Sana was trying to sound casual but Momo could tell she’d been a little too in her head, “About how rare it is to find relationships with each other in the way we have. With me, you, and Mina.”

“I know our friendship is rare,” Momo agreed.

“Not just our friendship,” Sana corrected, “The love we have. And its been on my mind all week, how much I love you. So…”

“So you want to hold me?” Momo chuckled, “That’s very nice of you, Sana.”

“I’m trying,” Sana shrugged, pulling Momo closer without really thinking. Sana had done this before, Momo could feel it. She could feel how comfortable Sana was holding Momo’s figure, she’s held women like this before. Sana was experienced in making a woman feel comfortable, mindful of where her hand was. How she knew where to lay her head without pulling Momo’s own hair.

“You sure you’re okay though?” She could hear Sana holding back another sleepy yawn, “Really, Momo. You can be honest with me. I can take it.”

“I’m okay,” Momo repeated, not really feeling confusion as much as she felt warmth, “It feels….” Momo thought for a moment, feeling the tiredness growing the longer she was held, “Different, sure. But…you do it well. You’ve always been tender to me Satang—you know I appreciate it.”

“I can never be too sure Momoring,” Sana whispered, placing her palm against Momo’s stomach, holding her close. Her palm was much smaller than the men she laid with. Sana’s hand was much softer, less forceful. She was light and like clouds—soft.

“Mhm,” Momo agreed, letting her eyes flutter shut.

“You’re positive you’re okay with this…?”

Momo scooted more into Sana’s body, growing comfortable with the warm and softness Sana was providing, different than the angular heaviness the men Momo laid with seemed to carry. Each brought something to offer—Momo had just never gotten this offer.

“I am,” Momo agreed, knowing exactly why Sana was asking. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Sana yawned, Momo could feel how she pressed her head into Momo, “Go to sleep then Momoring.”

“You too Satang,” Momo’s eyes continued to grow heavy, falling back asleep with her heart pounding, her body warm.

Chapter Text

April 5th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:17 PM

If you asked Minatozaki Sana what she thought of her two best friends, she’d carefully close the book she would be currently reading. She’d place a bookmark to the page, looking off in deep thought. The shine in her eyes would show she was surely thinking too many thoughts to be able to process the exact string of words she longed to use. Her parents always affectionately told her, how she seemed to be absorbing every piece of information she could, even before she could speak. Sana found that to be a bit absurd, she doesn’t have a single lick of a memory until she was at least 6, a phenomena she read from an article published in 1974—infantile amnesia, which is exactly what she felt like she had.

Her parents would protest though, because to them, Sana just never stopped wanting to learn. She learned her mother tongue the moment her lips could move. She got bored, she moved on to Korean, to Chinese, to Taiwanese, to English, to Spanish. So many words she could learn that translated to so many different languages but they never quite captured specifics, the semantics always changed just the slightest bit.

Maybe Sana couldn’t remember trivial things like her childhood because she was always constantly making room for more knowledge. This was her leading theory, she did read published studies starting from the 1960s about the concept of working memory. Maybe her brain was like a computer, constantly deciding what was and wasn’t worth the effort of actually storing for the long-term. Of course, Sana had a small handful of memories that she could never forget (well of course, memories always change up the longer the years pass, but the message remains the same, she supposed).

Then, Sana would blink a few times, realizing she went completely off tangent from her original thoughts—her opinion on Hirai Momo and Myoui Mina. She’d think long and hard, then settle on this belief: There are no perfect words to describe the two most important people in her life aside from her own parents.

Within all her complex thinking, her constant desire to know more, and her never-ending ambition for success, Sana didn’t feel as if she had much room left in her soul for long-lasting relationships. Experiences and situations proved to her maybe she just wasn’t cut out for that life. Yet somehow, she was lucky (statistically speaking, of course), to have come across not one but two people who she felt would be in her life till the very end of her lifetime.

Momo, who she met over ten years ago. Yes, Sana was an extroverted being, she loved learning everything there was to know about everyone and everything they liked, she dived headfirst into these friendships and nearly burned herself out every single time. Yet, the moment she met Momo, it was like everything was just like that. They went to Sana’s house nearly every day, had sleepovers on the weekends. Talked about boys in middle school and snuck out at night in high school. Sana was top of her class and Momo struggled, but Momo was a culinary expert and had dreams and ambitions Sana could never achieve. Momo was skilled with her body, Sana couldn’t hold a knife to save her life. But they were one in the same—they laughed the same and protected each other all the same.

Mina, who she only knew for about four years, but felt as if she had known her her entire life. Sana was first to reach out, of course, because there was no one quite like Mina in her life. While Momo was everything Sana was and more—Mina was not. If Sana and Momo were both excitement, Mina was a specific peacefulness that neither had ever experienced—at least, Sana was pretty sure she never experienced it. Mina was just as intelligent as Sana, in accelerated programs to graduate early and meeting Sana both their first semester in university, taking the same general psychology class. The only class they would ever have together, as Mina double majored in atmospheric science and broadcast systems, and Sana went down psychology and statistics as her double majors.

“So how long have you known Momo and Mina?” Nayeon’s question was genuine curiosity, as she reached to lower the radio in her car, the drive from the university quite calm with this cloudy weather.

“Oh?” Sana perked up, “Well, I’ve known Momo since we were 10. She moved into my neighborhood, a few houses down.”

“Childhood friends?” Nayeon smiled at the thought, “I have a childhood friend—though, him and I have our own lives going on. But I see him whenever I can, or him and his partner come to visit. His partner cuts Jihyo’s hair.”

“Ah,” Sana chuckled, “Well, I saw how nervous she was her first day in school. I was always the social type, I don’t know if I’ve made that clear about myself—”

“What you?” Nayeon’s tone was sarcastic, “I would have never guessed.”

“Well I am,” Sana rolled her eyes, “I always was. It wasn’t hard to make friends with her, she had this lunchbox—” Sana tried to imitate the shape of the rectangular tin Momo always carried around, if she blinked, she could imagine the exact likeliness behind her eyelids, “It was pink. It was a Barbie collectible, it didn’t take a genius to figure out she must have really liked Barbie. So…I gave her a sticker.”

“A sticker?” Nayeon snorted, “What kind of sticker?”

“A glittery Barbie one I had that came from my pencil set,” Sana shrugged, “I figured it would be a good conversation starter.”

“And how’d she’d react?”

“Well—” Sana tried to recall what she could of that day, “She grinned. She has this specific smile, where her nose scrunches entirely. Its adorable—though now that we’re older I see it less and less. She was stunned, she hadn’t thought she’d ever see the set up close. Apparently, she had saved up her own money to buy that lunchbox.”

“Saved her own money?” Nayeon questioned curiously, “Wasn’t she only ten?”

“Yeah…” Sana confirmed, “Um, its not my place to say—but Momo doesn’t really like to talk about her home stuff—”

“Oh!” Nayeon seemed to understand the implication immediately, “Of course! I won’t ask about that then—but so you gave her the sticker, yes?”

“Yeah,” Sana smiled softly to remember a young Momo, she never really could move on from her bangs, they were nearly a comfort for her, like a security blanket. She remembered Momo’s round cheeks and nervous demeanor, “I did. She was so excited, I asked if she wanted to sit next to me and she immediately accepted.”

“And?”

“Well, we’ve been best friends ever since,” Sana shrugged, “It felt just natural. We walked home together that day, I asked if she wanted to join me for dinner like three days later. She wasn’t sure whether she could come, I told her my door was always open. My parents are very good like that, always letting me be me.”

“Really now?” Nayeon tilted her head curiously, “Do they know about you being…? You know?”

“Being bisexual?” Sana questioned, “Don’t feel the need to censor it, Nayeon.”

“Uhm…yes,” Nayeon nodded, looking a bit awkward at Sana’s bluntness, “Yes being…you know being…bisexual.”

“They do,” Sana confirmed, “I guess I’m just lucky in that sense. I’ve never once felt afraid to be open with them about anything. My relationships, my boyfriends, my very few girlfriends. They know about Momo’s homelife, they know about Mina being gay, they know about me. And they’ve loved me entirely this whole time—I feel really lucky knowing that I was able to be born to very loving parents.”

“That…that’s good,” Nayeon sounded tense, “You don’t see that a lot…”

“Good parenting?” Sana snorted.

“Unconditional love,” Nayeon corrected, “The kind that parents should have. But usually don’t.”

“Oh…” Sana realized this conversation was going down a very terse path, changing gears, “I understand. Well, sort of. My parents are one in a million, I always think. They had me young, they weren’t that much older than Jihyo, honestly. My dad was 19 and my mom was 18. I was a happy surprise, that’s what they say—” Sana rolled her eyes in amusement at Nayeon’s chuckle, “But they were much more well off, my mom was getting a degree and my dad was already working. My grandma wasn’t the most happy about it, but my dad promised to take care of her, if they just let them stay for a bit. Just for him to get on his feet, for her to have help during the pregnancy. He gave my mom a ring from a quarter machine—the plastic ones with gaudy fake plastic jewels.”

“Oh, I know which ones,” Nayeon scrunched her nose, “I’ve had my fair share of cheesy gifts.”

“It was a placeholder,” Sana explained, “For a real ring, that he’d get her one day. My mom always trusted him, my grandma warmed up to him. And he did work hard, day in and day out, until he became higher management, and he got my mom the prettiest ring she still wears to this day.”

“That’s beautiful to hear,” Nayeon’s eyes shined, “Modern love.”

“Its romantic,” Sana sighed wistfully, “I’d love to have a love like that. But…”

“But…?” Nayeon questioned, “You were just telling me about how you’ve had your fair share of relationships.”

“I have,” Sana agreed, feeling a bit of embarrassment rise up in her throat, “But…I don’t think I’m very good at them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Sana rubbed her hands together, distracting her racing mind, “I think I get a little too intense in them. I want to be with them every moment I can—I think it gets hard for them to breathe. I want to give my all to them—maybe because I’ve been so used to viewing it in my parents, of course, its mutual between them. I love that idea—mutually obsessed lovers, the kind who wear necklaces with their initials. The kind that always need to be touching, whether its hands, legs, or even just hooking fingers—”

“I get that,” Nayeon agreed, sounding a bit sheepish, “I have to admit, I’m a bit addicted to Jeongyeon at this point. If I don’t get to decompress and hold her for at least fifteen minutes I’m pretty sure I start to get a specific type of cranky.”

“I want to be obsessed—I am usually obsessed,” Sana blushed, “But most of the time, the person I’m with isn’t like that, whether its because I’m too much or because they aren’t looking to be serious or it just isn’t exactly how I see it—-it usually blows up in my face.”

“So you’re a hopeless romantic?” Nayeon teased.

“You could say,” Sana chuckled dryly, “And the only time someone was mutually obsessed…”

There was a few beats of silence, Sana could feel her fingertips beginning to tingle as her nerves grew. She didn’t like to talk about this—if she could, she’d never bring it up again. It was such a nasty stain on an otherwise normal-ish life—but Sana knew she needed to. It was always important to discuss traumatic experiences, she learned this very early on in her studies, talking helps process.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Nayeon said quietly, “I understand we’re still getting to know each other.”

“No, no,” Sana shook her head, “I know I need to. Its important I do. The only relationship I had where it really felt like the other person was just as obsessed with me as I was them—well, it was a professor. He was 29.”

Nayeon stayed quiet for a moment, registering Sana’s words. “…And how old were you?”

“…18?” Sana said meekly, “He was my psychology professor.”

“Oh,” Nayeon replied, “I see.”

“Yeah—” Sana blushed, feeling a mixture of shame and embarrassment, “I know in hindsight its stupid, especially since he was the general psychology professor. But I guess it just meant he knew exactly what someone like me wanted to hear. And I got involved a little too much—and it was Momo who found out, I never directly told her. And that should have been my first warning sign, I’ve never hidden anything from her like that. Maybe a few white lies like how I pretend not to know where her toothbrush went, but I know its because I accidentally dropped it in the toilet and threw it out. But something like that? I’d never done that before.”

“And she was pissed…rightfully so,” Sana admitted, “And she kept telling me this was a big mistake and to think very carefully about it. But I had never fell in love like that, with someone so intelligent and strong. So I argued. And then, well, like all bad relationships, he started showing more of the bad stuff. Getting drunk on the job…I had to try to cover for him multiple times when he would be passed out in his office. Always being condescending to my studies, telling me I wasn’t cut out for academics. Telling me I needed to be acting a certain way, telling me my interests were trivial. I should just give up on school in general, blah, blah, blah—”

“Oh, so he was an abusive misogynist,” Nayeon added bitterly, “Figures. Why’d you stay with him?”

Sana’s face burned. “…I think I was addicted to the sex,” She admitted, “It was like a whirlwind. He was obsessed with me, I wanted someone to be obsessed with me like that. Of course, now I’m older and I can very much admit he was only lustful—I didn’t see it that way back then.”

“The sex can get to someone’s head,” Nayeon agreed, “Though…I’m not very big on receiving—I don’t know if it makes sense to say you can sometimes get addicted just from bringing pleasure to someone else.”

“Yes,” Sana wholeheartedly agreed, feeling a little lighter, feeling a tad more seen, “He wanted me in ways I didn’t realize someone could be desired. In his office, in the classroom, in his car. Late nights, early mornings—he wanted to always touch me, hold me. He loved running his hands through my hair, he loved the way I smelled. I could stay up and listen to his research for hours and hours, he would hold me the entire time. It was bad.”

“At 18, I can see why you’d consider this true love,” Nayeon admitted, “But did he ever like listening to you talk?”

Sana frowned, rubbing her arm, “No. I don’t think he ever really enjoyed when I tried to join in on his discussions. Whether it was about books I’d read, mutual studies—nothing. He was also super reckless.”

“…Reckless?”

“Yeah,” Sana sighed, “If we had disagreements, he’d try to scare me into apologizing. When we’d be in his car, he’d start pressing the gas, until we were going faster and faster—until I was so nervous I’d just admit I was wrong even if I didn’t think I actually was.”

Nayeon remained silent, but she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Or like—” Sana’s face felt warm, she pursed her lips, “How graphic am I allowed to be here?”

“You’re a whole 22 year old woman,” Nayeon reminded, “I’m literally older than you. I’ve heard so many things—nothing is going to make me judge you.”

“Well—” Sana still felt uncomfortable, like the seatbelt was digging into her chest too hard, “Sometimes, in arguments…they’d end in sex. I hardly know how—but somehow it would. Angry, passionate sex—borderline aggressive. The kind where I’m pinned against the wall and he’s covering my mouth not really caring if it felt good to me or not—”

Sana noticed the way Nayeon’s hands tightened their grip against the wheel a little tighter. But other than that, Nayeon gave no other sign of her reaction, Sana assumed she wasn’t lying about hearing a lot in her life.

“And I guess it was confusing because sometimes I didn’t really want to have sex in the middle of an argument,” Sana admitted, “But I felt totally immersed in it by the climax. I felt like that’s what it meant when someone was obsessed with you—they couldn’t resist you, no matter what.”

“I don’t—”

“I know,” Sana interrupted, “I know its wrong. I didn’t back then. But one specific time, we argued—he wanted me to drop out of university. That’s where I drew the line, I’d never felt so disrespected. I think everything I had been holding back just suddenly came out, his constant condescending comments, his ignorance to my interests. My life is my academics, even through the entirety of our relationship I was top of my classes, and that was when I was going through a hard time. I screamed at him, he had never seen me react like that. I was pissed, makeup running, pushing him. And then—of fucking course, he wanted to have sex, he couldn’t focus if he didn’t at least get to touch me, he’s pleading, he’s begging—”

“What the hell?” Nayeon grimaced.

“He’s trying to have sex, and I’m so done—I don’t want to have sex! I want to have a fucking conversation about my fucking education—” Sana could feel the same rush of frustration she had felt four years ago, “But, I’m thinking…maybe if I let him, I can talk some sense to him while he’s feeling euphoric—so we have sex.”

“He’s never been this aggressive,” Sana recalled the experience, feeling like her arms were going numb from nerves, “He can’t even like…I guess keep a rhythm? He’s jolting and it doesn’t exactly feel pleasurable, but he doesn’t care about that, he wants to cum, or whatever. Then amidst it…he tries to choke me.”

Sana could feel the way Nayeon instinctively pressed a bit too hard on the brakes. She yelped slightly, feeling the seatbelt lock as the car behind them rammed their own brakes. Followed by the blast of their car horn, honking as the car swerved onto the other lane, zooming past them.

“…Excuse me?” Nayeon questioned, slowly beginning to drive the car once more, eyes glued to the road.

“Like…” Sana tried to imitate his actions, using her hands to hold around her neck, “He’s trying to choke me. While I’m still crying out of frustration and like…we had done that before. He taught it to me, which in hindsight was insane to learn at my age—the whole choking, blindfold shit. Its not out of the ordinary for us. But he’s not doing it right. He’s actually choking me, I can feel my vision swimming while all he’s doing is trying to chase his own pleasure high. And I realize—he’s getting off to seeing me suffering.”

“And then it all came crashing down,” Nayeon said solemnly.

“I was pissed,” Sana admitted, “Rightfully so, I still stand by that. I slapped him, he’s certainly not expecting that from me. Because, you know, its fine for him to do it to me, but god forbid I do it back.”

“So he’s a misogynist, and a pig,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, “Figures.”

“And I leave,” Sana sighed, “I took my things and I just left. But…I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t feel like explaining everything to my parents. I think that’s the most distant I had ever been to them and I knew I needed to tell them everything at some point… but I was just so tired.”

“So where’d you go instead?”

Sana blushed.

“Well…I had a classmate in three of my classes, considering that semester was just all basics. A pretty young lady—she had black hair and always stayed to herself.”

“…Mina?” Nayeon questioned.

“Mhm,” Sana nodded, “I’m an extrovert, what can I say? I had already built a friendship of a sort with her—I saw she had a puka necklace she used to wear all the time. I struck up a conversation, she had just come from America and was living in a solo dorm. She wore the puka necklace because she loved the beaches and her family didn’t allow her to take the pearl necklace her grandmother had given her across the continent. We studied there at her dorm between classes since she was so much closer than my commute. I remembered where she lived, I had been in his office on campus.”

“You just…showed up at her door?”

“I did,” Sana sighed, “I feel guilty about it, I wasn’t thinking very clearly. I was scared and tired and I just wanted to be with someone I felt like cared about me in the slightest—She was worried to say the least. I didn’t say a lot, I think I was nearly radio silent, but I managed to ask if she could take me to Momo’s apartment.”

“She got me on her scooter and took us the entire 25 minute drive, without a single word. I think she just wanted to make sure I was in good hands.”

“That was very kind of her,” Nayeon pointed out, “Even if she was your friend, she could’ve easily said no.”

“I know,” Sana agreed, “But she took me, that’s how Momo and Mina met—because of me. Momo was worried and Mina tried to explain what she knew, which wasn’t a lot. Momo didn’t want Mina going back out because it was dark, she convinced her to stay over with us. I told them everything.”

“I thought Momo was probably fuming and Mina was entirely nervous in this situation, but turns out, it was the opposite. Momo was gutted and Mina was pissed—but they both just wanted to make sure I was okay at the end of it,” Sana explained, “And then we just…talked. For most of the night. About my stupid relationship, about Momo’s culinary apprenticeship. Mina talked about living in America, coming to Japan. We all chatted about dreams and what outcomes we wanted in our lives. And Momo’s holding me, her arms are wrapped around me from behind and I’m leaning into her with my back, like a blanket, because I was shaking and I like pressure when I’m stressed. And Mina’s shy and doesn’t want to push anything, but she’s holding my hand, quietly, without coming too much into my sphere. And its at this moment I’m thinking a lot. Firstly, Momo was going to be in my life for as long as we live. And secondly, I was going to spend the rest of my life making sure Mina was okay being in mine. And it kind of stayed like that.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Nayeon reached over, offering her hand to Sana, palm up, fingers slightly stretched. Sana stared to Nayeon’s offer for a minute, mind racing from recalling before she placed her hand on Nayeon’s. Nayeon’s palm was warm, she took Sana’s hand and intertwined their fingers, her hand was much larger than Sana’s.

“Its okay,” Sana replied, “Its just how it goes sometimes.”

“Tis life,” Nayeon nodded, “But that doesn’t mean you deserved for it to happen. You were young, you were in love. And someone took advantage of that—that wasn’t right of them. That could have ended in a much more dangerous situation, I’m glad you got out of it.”

“It makes me feel stupid,” Sana admitted, “To look back and realize there wasn’t an ounce of actual love in his actions. I feel insanely guilty for going behind my parents’ backs, they’ve never once hated me for it, but I feel like I deserved to be. And Momo—”

“What about her?”

“She was so…understanding,” Sana scrunched her nose, “When she had learned about it, she was fuming, Momo is hard to anger, she’s slow and steady. She’s calm and rolls with the punches. She was worried for my safety, it manifested as anger. When I was in the relationship, I knew she disapproved, but she still stayed with me, trying to be as normal as she could even though I was obsessed with him. When it ended, I wouldn’t have blamed her for constantly saying I told you so—but she never did.”

“Never?” Nayeon’s eyes twinkled, “I would’ve tried to get it by at least once.”

Sana chuckled, feeling Nayeon’s hand give her a squeeze, “No, she never did. Instead…she held me. Every time she could see I was upset. Stressed. Nervous. I had weird dreams…nightmares actually—I think I have some sort of issue with things around my neck—but I would wake up and feel like I couldn’t breathe. I spent a lot of time at her apartment, Mina started coming over almost every day. We sat and talked. We hung out, we went out to eat. Momo cooked, and she held me. Always.”

“And then…we got to know Mina more,” Sana recalled, “We got to know her reservations and her strengths. How she liked her alone time, how she loved being around us but sometimes not necessarily with us. But…she’s a lot more impulsive than people give her credit for. I think they think she’s this dainty little thing, but Mina is kind of the one who always ends up protecting me and Momo. Momo is hearty and strong, but she’s always been tender, Mina is all defensive and protectiveness. She’s a lot more headstrong that you’d think, she’s a lot more insane, too. Did you know she slapped an egg on Momo’s ex? She put sugar in his gas tank too—dumped ink all over him and took a picture of him on the ground.”

“…What?” Nayeon was thoroughly surprised at the revelation, “Are you being serious?”

“Incredibly,” Sana snickered, “It was such a sight to see. Looking back—it was crazy. In the moment, though, I thought I was harboring a criminal. Its just Mina, though.”

“No way…” Nayeon sounded amazed, “I wouldn’t have guessed that from her.”

“And that’s what makes her so…her,” Sana explained, “Why Momo and I love her to bits. Because Mina is Mina, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. And I realized—why was it so easy for me to accept everything there was to know about Momo and Mina—but he couldn’t do that for me…?”

“Probably because it wasn’t really love at all,” Nayeon simply stated, squeezing Sana’s hand again.

“Exactly,” Sana said, “It really wasn’t after all.” But its love with them, Sana mused quietly to herself.

For everything Momo and Mina were to Sana, she could only hope she had as much impact on their lives as they had on hers. She could see, the way they interacted, all three of them, there was bits and pieces of each other passed onto one another. As if Sana had always carried pieces of them in her soul as they did hers and each others. Sana liked to believe that, the way her and Mina could discussions endless topics while Momo listened. How Mina and Momo were so bodily aware; Mina was effortlessly graceful and Momo was skillfully agile. How Momo and Sana shared the same values, the same humor since they were ten. It had to mean something, Sana always told herself, love. Or at least, some form of it.

Chapter Text

May 19th, 1992. Approximate time, 8:29 PM

Whether people really accepted the truth of reality or not, one thing Mina held her head high about was where she came from. Its not every day you meet a woman living in South Korea, graduating with her bachelor’s from Japan, born and raised in America.

America, the thing about Mina people had a tendency to conveniently forget about. The culture there was unlike anything Mina experienced in Japan and subsequently South Korea. She went to school in California—kids were insane. A specific kind of insane, viciously so. The kind that snuck out, going against their parents’ endless expectations and standards. Even the most elite academies had some of the sneakiest students. Mina wasn’t one to be inexperienced in this.

What she especially had a tendency to do was defend herself, and other who couldn’t defend themselves. She doesn’t know why it became a thing, but it happened and it didn’t take long for her notoriety to spread. She dumped milk over a boy in grade school because he snapped her bra strap. She should have gotten suspended, but Mina presented as an excelling student with an above average intelligence, she looked the part of a shy bookworm, and she truly was just one. So, she got off with a warning, and it became a thing. Mina looked too innocent to be blamed for things she did, and even the students in her classes knew they wouldn’t be able to blame her for anything—even if she really was at fault, the teachers would never expect that out of someone like her.

Of course, when she got a little older, the stakes grew higher, so she kind of died off with it. But there were a few moments here and there. Socking a guy in the face in her sophomore year, and him being so thrown off he never even reported her. Breaking a girl’s car window because she was profusely bullying another girl in Mina’s calculus class. For the most part though, Mina made it by with her head low. But that night, the night Sana came to her dorm room, tears falling from her face, cheeks puffy and swollen from the salty tears, limping from soreness because everything in her body hurt—Mina remembered just who the hell she was.

She listened to the full story, sitting beside Sana and Momo, she listened to Sana admit everything about their psychology professor. Mina couldn’t say she was entirely surprised, Sana never dropped names but it was pretty obvious—Sana wore her heart right across her chest, for all to see. Mina could see the love practically dripping out of her eyes every time they were in class. She caught on to Sana staying after, it really didn’t take a genius. But she knew Sana was trying to censor it, because Mina was still a bit younger, and Sana figured it would be best to be mature about it.

America was also a lot more vulgar. They had a lot more words for these things. Grooming, Mina knew that word, and that’s what it sounded like their professor had been doing to her, because Sana was bright eyed and beautiful, even at 18. Trying to bring down her confidence until she was a shell of herself, and he’d be able to control her as he pleased. Making her keep it a secret from her parents, from Momo. Whom Mina hadn’t met until now, but Sana spoke of her every chance she got, gushing about her bestest friend and how strong their relationship was. Sexual coercion, that’s the word Mina thought of when Sana listed off the times he would beg her, pleading that he wouldn’t be able to think without having sex. Even if Sana wasn’t into it—even if it hurt. There was more words Mina could think of, but she knew better than to bring it up, Sana was shaken up enough as it was.

That night, Sana was the first to fall asleep, laying in Momo’s lap, as the older woman leaned against her sofa, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” Momo had said quietly, “I hardly know you and you’re stuck here.”

“No, no,” Mina insisted, “Its okay,” She whispered, both of them watching as Sana twitched slightly in her sleep.

“You’re very kind,” Momo pointed out, “You didn’t have to bring her here.”

“I didn’t have to,” Mina agreed, “But I wanted to. Because Sana has always been sweet to me, she made adjusting to Japan a lot more tolerable. And…I have to be honest…I kind of put the pieces together at some point…”

“I wish I would have figured it out sooner,” Momo sounded ashamed, “Maybe I could have torn her away before she was way too deep into him.”

“…Can I be honest?” Mina asked.

“Shoot,” Momo nodded.

“Sana seems to feel very strongly,” Mina looked down to the woman, “I don’t want to sound mean, but I think even if you had found out in the very beginning…”

“Yeah—” Momo didn’t let her finish her thought, “I know what you’re going to say. She would’ve dived right in still, because to her, it was love.”

“Yeah…” Mina said quietly, feeling as if she was taking up too much space in a place that didn’t belong to her.

“That’s not love, though,” Momo snorted, shaking her head, “Not to me, at least.”

“Well, what do you think it is?”

“Well,” Momo looked down to Sana, Mina could see a hint of something in her eyes, maybe like longing. Or nostalgia, something that was right in her reach but she could not grab it. Mina wondered what exactly was going on in Momo’s mind about all of this. She had been very silent this whole ordeal, speaking when spoken to but Mina could tell she was listening to every single word being spoken between the two of them. “It’s Sana.”

“Love is…” Mina asked, drawing a bit of a sharper breath. Feeling her heart pick up speed a bit, though she wasn’t entirely sure why, “…Sana?”

“…Yeah,” Momo seemed satisfied with that, “Sana is love. To me, at least. She invited me over every night for dinner when I was a kid. It was her family’s kitchen I decided to become a chef. It was her bedroom I told her about my first kiss. Its her I think about when I think of home. Its her laugh that makes me smile. Its her musings that make me feel calm. When I think of what could define beauty—I see her, all of her. Every version of her, from when we were kids and her glasses were too big for her face. To when we were teenagers and she kept biting her tongue in the middle of the night because of her braces. To even now after she’s been crying, she’s beautiful. Its just…its her, you know? Its always been me and her. And I guess it kind of kills me because…”

Mina waited patiently, unsurely reaching out, placing a hand on Momo’s forearm. Momo slightly stiffened at the touch, eyes looking down at their skin to skin contact, but didn’t budge away. She simply stared, studying Mina’s hand carefully. Momo felt cool and sturdy beneath Mina’s hand, Sana was right, Momo was very steady. Even when her eyes were watering, and she reached up with her free arm, wiping away at her eyes.

“It kills me to think that someone could put their hands on her and try to suck all the love out of her,” Momo said quietly, “I feel like shit knowing someone almost succeeded in doing that.”

Then something snapped in Mina, she remembered very distinctly going to her dorm the next day, Sana hugging her tightly and thanking her endlessly, and the look Momo gave her. It was Mina who initiated that hug, it was light and Momo was still steady, and Mina thought about something.

Sana was very deeply affected by this. She was going to wake up every day for a good while, with those feelings, with those memories, with those words he spoke to her. Momo was going to be carrying this unprecedented guilt she didn’t need to be carrying, but both were stubborn in quiet ways. Momo would shoulder it because she just wanted Sana to get her smile back. Sana would pretend she wasn’t as affected by it as she was just to make sure Momo could breathe.

Mina wanted to make sure he couldn’t do anything to take that away from her again—her smile.

It started with some snooping. When you were as reserved as Mina, people had a tendency to trust you more with information, solely because they believed Mina wouldn’t dare speak of it ever again. And it was true, she wouldn’t. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t get use of it. It didn’t take long to hear word from graduates, who took a liking to Mina’s quiet demeanor. Quiet words were exchanged, he’s done this before. He had a tendency to prowl on the younger women of his class, the bright starry eyed ones. He had hit on other girls in the class, some lasted a few weeks, others a few months. Mina wondered if Sana knew he was actively doing this to other women—she never brought it up.

They all warned Mina that he was dangerous, he always had blackmail on the students, the ones he slept with, threatening to use photos if they threatened to report him. Because, at the end of the day, he was a high ranking professor and they were young girls in his class. The shame would be brought to them than it would him, except for maybe a slap on the wrist. Mina wondered if he had taken any photos of Sana—she didn’t want to, but it plagued her mind. Did he take pictures of her in compromising positions? Was he forceful with it? Did Sana even agree to them?

Mina treaded on. It didn’t take a genius to know he would have an eye on her, Mina was a prompt student, she always turned her work in, she smiled when he greeted her. Mina made it a point to join his class again the next semester, a class she didn’t even need in her curriculum plan—some cognitive class. Sana was taking the exact same one with a different professor. Mina made sure of that. Sana was less than pleased, offering to help Mina switch classes. Mina gently refused, insisting she signed up late from oversleeping, which wasn’t unbelievable at that point in time.

She sat in the front of the class, right by his desk. Where he could always watch her, eyeing her as she constantly stretched and crossed her legs, feeling his eyes watching over her figure, Mina wasn’t stupid. She knew lust when she saw it. She knew he thought she wanted him.

And she visited his office hours, to talk about topics that were actually a breeze to her but she simply pretended to not understand. He enjoyed that a lot, having to reexplain things in simple terms to his students, it was a plus if they were beautiful. Mina always wondered what Sana saw in him, because he seemed to take pride in thinking Mina was an idiot. But it was always the free horse everyone wanted to rein in.

It didn’t take long, really, for him to make a move. In the classroom, after everyone had filed out. It didn’t take long for him to reach over, brushing his thumb over her lower lip, giving her a glance of longing. Oh, ew, Mina shivered at his touch, realizing and confirming she in fact, was extremely gay. But she was in too deep by this point, driven by pure spite and vengeance, pushing through and letting him think he was working magic on her, or whatever bullshit egotistical concept of her he was developing in his mind. Leaning into his touch, but shyly saying she didn’t do much, she was very innocent, she was nervous.

Then he started telling her a lot of things, a lot of things no professor should be sharing with a student in general. Sexual topics, his interests, what she would be interested in. He admitted one of the best orgasms he ever had was when a psycho ex of his slapped him—the sting shocking so much pleasure through his body he came so much he nearly cried. Mina wanted to vomit—that psycho ex wasn’t psycho. It was Sana, Sana had made him discover something about himself that Mina could use to her advantage.

He wanted to be a bit more submissive, using a 17 year old was perfect in his mind, able to mold into exactly how he wanted her to act in and out of situations. Pretending the woman had a power over him when he could easily overpower her if he so pleased.

He always tried to kiss her, always tried to touch her. It wasn’t hard to feign tears, because they were in part real, Mina was really going into dangerous territory but her mind was dead set on her plan, taking months to get to this point.

It all unfolded the day she went to his office after hours. Purposefully, promising him he’d finally have his way with her. Mina shivered when the door shut behind her, sitting on the chair as she felt his hands starting to massage her shoulders, she could feel his breath tickling the back of her neck.

“I’ve been waiting for you to give in,” He smirked, loosening his tie, “You were such a shy woman…”

“I just trust you,” Mina looked up to him, trying to amplify her innocence, “I want to make you feel as good as I know you’ll make me feel.”

“You’re in good hands,” He whispered to her ear, going down on one knee, Mina could already see the tent forming in his slacks.

“You poor man,” Mina whispered, unzipping the button of his slacks, pushing past the shake of her fingers. He took notice, smirking.

“You’re nervous,” He took her hands, kissing her knuckles. Mina felt her skin crawl. She really didn’t like the feeling of his lips on her knuckles. She also kind of was really resisting the urge to elbow him in his stupid fucking face, Mina resisted because she actually had a fully thought out plan and needed it to come to fruition.

“I’m still new to this,” She pleaded, “Why don’t you take them off for me?”

He complied, standing up and unzipping the rest of the way, Mina could see the definition of his tent, as he let his pants fall to his ankles. She drew a breath, biting her lip and looking to him pleadingly.

“I want you to touch me,” He demanded, “I’m already so hard thinking about how I’m going to feel inside of you.”

“I was thinking,” Mina whispered, “…Go on your knees.”

He raised a brow, curiosity getting the better of him, going down to his knees as Mina reached into her purse, pulling out a pair of handcuffs. His eyes widened, Mina could see the way his bulge twitched in excitement.

“You dirty whore,” He chuckled, “I knew there was something about you.”

“I want you to use these on me,” Mina whispered, “But…I’m just a little nervous to use them…would you show me? Please?”

He couldn’t say no to explaining anything—he was so caught up in his own ego, Mina knew this would be his downfall.

“Innocent little thing,” He took the handcuffs from her, taking one of the shackles and pressing it against his wrist. Mina’s heart pounded at the sound of it clicking into place, locking. “When you move, it’ll tighten,” He explained, moving his wrist around for Mina to see, “It’ll feel real good when you can’t fight back.”

“I can imagine it does…” Mina whispered, grabbing the other half of the cuffs, locking them onto the handle of the large filing cabinet right beside him. He laughed slightly, looking down to the way he was now handcuffed against a cabinet full of ungraded papers and extra textbooks. As if the lust in his brain was making him react just a bit slower than he normally would. Like Mina figured.

“…What are you doing?” He questioned, when Mina stood up, pushing the chair away and taking a few steps back. Ensuring the distance was safe enough.

“…Taking a picture,” Mina took out the camera from her bag, suddenly pointing it to him, snapping a photo as the flash momentarily blinded him.

“Wait—” he tried to stand up, but couldn’t, stuck on the ground on his knees from the odd position of his pants around his ankles, and his arm stuck to the bottom drawer of the cabinet. “What are you doing?” His voice was now more hardened, the lust in his eyes draining away as he tried to reach out to her, but Mina was sure there was enough space.

“…Did you forget how old I am?” Mina scoffed, walking over to behind his desk, seeing a small safe with a key on the side. “I’m 17 professor. 17. Just turned actually…like…two-ish months ago. In other countries, that’s statutory rape.”

“What the hell are you doing bitch?” he questioned trying to pull his pants up, “Get me out of here!”

“I will,” Mina grabbed the key, unlocking the small safe, opening it to see an envelope. It was thick, Mina grabbed it, looking inside and seeing photos, dozens of them. It would be disrespectful to look at each and every one of them, so Mina sealed it tightly, her heart pounding when she figured Sana’s had to have been in there somewhere. “I’m just getting something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“I’m going to report you!” He was growling, “You’ll be arrested!”

“That’s fine,” Mina said wholeheartedly, shrugging as she shut the safe, “I don’t care. What I care about—is how you’ve taken the dignity away from some of your students. Does it get you off…? Does it make your dick twitch, the idea of a woman being completely helpless around you? Does it satisfy you? When a woman is crying, telling you it hurts but all you want is to catch an orgasm?”

“You’re fucking crazy,” he spat.

“Maybe I am,” Mina said, looking right to him, feeling her blood boil, remembering the limp Sana had all those months ago, “Maybe I fucking am. Call the cops, tell them about me! Tell them a sweet little fucking 17 year old student got you in this position—on your fucking knees with your pants down, your dick hard and wet, handcuffed as you practically begged her to fuck you.”

“That’s not what happened!” He wanted to scream but it was late and janitors came around this time, “You’re a fucking liar!” He instead said through gritted teeth.

“That’s not what the picture looks like,” Mina held the camera, “I can just print it. And just like you do to every woman you’ve screwed over, I’ll just spread it around. A picture is worth a thousand words, and this picture had to be worth every last piece. It screams everything it needs to scream, how you’re into shameful shit. How you want a woman to slap you around, how you wanted to be fucked. Is that what you want? For everyone to know?”

“Enough!” He barked out.

“Hmm, I don’t think I’ll stop,” Mina shook her head, “In fact…I thought you got off to hearing them begging for you stop but still keeping going. God…it must suck when they’re not listening to you.”

He was silent, Mina could feel the anger pulsating in the thick, tense air of the office. It was warm in there, she was sweating, her heart pounding. But all she could really think about was Sana, everything Sana. Her glowing eyes, her endless conversations. Her shining eyes and her laughter. All she could see was Sana and all she could feel was an indescribable pang of fury running through her, keeping her hyperaware of everything around her.

“And besides,” Mina added, “You don’t have any pictured evidence of me…not like I do on you. So, think long and hard about it, sir. Either you call the police, and I spread this around. Or you shut up, and pretend this didn’t happen. Leave me alone and now you have zero photos of students to use against them. We pretend this never happened.”

She took the handcuff keys out from her purse, waving it in front of him. “You’ll do what saves your pride, right?” Mina taunted, “Figures. Its all you have left right now.”

She unlocked the office door, in her peripherals she could see the way he was shaking. She gripped the doorknob, trying to keep her nerves calm, still running high on the adrenaline.

“And one more thing—“ Mina warned through a sneer, “Leave Minatozaki Sana out of your fucking mouth and your fucking life.”

Tossing the key, not caring where it landed, Mina slammed the door behind her as fast as she could. She ran, as fast as she could, faster than her legs have ever carried her before, down the hallways, out the entrance.

She saw Momo’s truck, waiting right where Mina asked her to be.

“Drive,” She demanded, hopping in and slamming the door, “Now. Go.”

“Mina?” Momo took off, eyes wide as she looked to Mina’s disheveled appearance. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Mina’s voice was shaky, “Nothing important. Just handled something.”

She took out the envelope, the weight feeling more like a brick in her grip.

“…What do you have there?” Momo asked worriedly.

“Pictures,” Mina said quietly. “I don’t know whose pictures, but its more than one student.”

“Student?” Momo asked, brows raised as she tried to process Mina’s comments, “Where were you right now…?”

“His office,” Mina said simply, adjusting her shirt. Momo slammed her brakes, hard, Mina felt the seatbelt lock. She braced herself, using her free hand to grip onto the handle of the truck.

“His office?” Momo repeated, “What the hell were you doing in there?!”

“Momo,” Mina said with as much seriousness as she could muster, “Drive.”

“Mina, you’re worrying me,” Momo continued to drive, “What were you doing with that piece of shit?”

“Getting something that didn’t belong to him,” Mina tsked, opening the envelope again, “Specifically, pictures of the women he did the same shit to that Sana went through.”

Momo went quiet. The drive continued in heavy silence.

“Are Sana’s…?”

“I don’t know,” Mina shook her head, “I’m not going to look. Its not my business. But Sana mentioned it, kinky shit they did. Would it be too much of a stretch to assume?”

Momo sucked in a breath, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Mina could feel the air shift again, Momo was hard to anger. Mina was slowly learning this, because not once in the few months of getting to know Momo did she ever falter. But right now, Mina could feel the charge in the air. The wave of defensiveness and morbid dread pulsating off of Momo’s energy, “…What did you do?”

“I put him in his place,” Mina waved the camera to her, “Don’t tell Sana.”

“I can’t—”

“Please,” Mina begged, “She’s been through enough as is, please Momo. I know you barely know me, I barely know you—but I did this for a reason. To make sure Sana didn’t get herself screwed over by a piece of shit man. To make sure he couldn’t coerce her into any more questionable bullshit, to free her from him fully, he doesn’t have anything of hers anymore. Not her body, not her mind, not even pictures.”

“I just—” Momo seemed to be reeling, looking a bit winded, “…Why?” It was really the only full statement Momo seemed to be able to formulate.

“Because its Sana,” Mina could only say, “Because she was the first friend I made in a whole new country, because she does my hair when I can’t. Because she listens to me talk about the fucking weather reports everyday. Because she’s so kind inside and out, and she doesn’t deserve to pursue an academic career with this hanging over her head. Because she’s love—to…to you at least. But I get it. I can see it.”

“So please, Momo?” Mina begged quietly, “Just do me this solid—I won’t even ask of anything else from you if you don’t want me to. But don’t tell her about this—she doesn’t need to know he even had something against her to begin with. For me? For Sana?”

Momo remained silent, staring onto the road with an unreadable expression. Mina stayed quiet, the adrenaline crashing down, realizing just how reckless of a decision she made amidst all of this, just how insane her plan was. Yes, she’d done dumb shit before, but for the sake of herself or justice. But this was fueled by something completely different, Mina was realizing. This was charged from something deep within herself—the unconditional desire to protect someone Mina felt was worth protecting. She felt the tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. At this point, if Momo told her to turn herself in, Mina would listen. Momo seemed to always be steady, never showing too much emotion.

Momo suddenly reached over, taking Mina’s hand into her own. Mina wasn’t expecting this action, feeling Momo’s warm palm against hers, as she laced their fingers together. Mina stared down, feeling Momo squeeze her hand. It was a small action, Sana always held Mina’s hand. Momo’s too. But there was no Sana right now in the truck between them. It was simply Momo and Mina, and somehow…this action felt like the most grand thing Mina had ever experienced. Because they’d never done something like this before, and Mina felt as if it was completely new for Momo, too.

“…Thank you,” Is all Momo said.

She continued to hold Mina’s hand, Mina felt like she was being held steady through the storm, letting all the emotions crash through her as Momo held onto her. Her voice was soft, just those two words carried more emotion and weight than anything else Mina had heard. It was sealed, Mina and Momo sitting in the car together, as Momo drove back to her apartment. Holding hands, silently agreeing to a risky decision. One Mina did so recklessly, and one Momo would support her through.

The rest of the drive was in complete silence.

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 2:17 PM

“Jihyo?” Mina rubbed her eyes tiredly, having been stirred awake from her nap on the sofa, now at her front door, “What’s up?” Jihyo was standing at the front door, holding Taehyun in her arms, who was looking a bit bigger than before, now six months old and able to hold his head up, looking right into Mina’s soul with his big eyes.

“Do you want to come downstairs?” Jihyo grinned nervously, giving a very wide toothy grin, where Mina could see she had changed her rubber band colors from tangerine to a light purple, lavender would be the color Mina would guess. She wondered if Jihyo let Nayeon pick the color this time around.

“How come?” Mina yawned, “I don’t mind, but why?”

“I’m bored,” Jihyo frowned, as Taehyun grabbed a hold of her necklace, tugging it slightly, “Well *also…*San is here. I thought it would be cool for you to meet him. I know you’re like 21 and he’s 14 but I really like him and I think you’re really cool so it’d be nice—”

“Don’t stress,” Mina chuckled, “I’ll go. I can finally meet this mysterious Sannie.”

“He’s very polite,” Jihyo was very visibly excited as Mina locked the door behind her, “Very very polite. He always talks formally it makes me look like a fucking criminal. But I don’t care, he’s with Yunjinnie right now downstairs so we should hurry—”

Mina followed Jihyo downstairs, listening to her explanation that lasted from the hallway to the end of the stairs. “And then he got upset so he kicked the guy in the face—” Jihyo rambled, “And that’s when I figured he was stuck with me, because I’ve never been defended before like that—except maybe by Jeongyeon when she ko’d my—um…when she knocked out some motherfucker in my honor. But San is closer to my age and no one my age ever really did that for me.”

“…Wow,” Mina was impressed, “He sounds like a very good friend.” She couldn’t even reprimand this San kid for doing something so risky because the entirety of her life seemed to be spent like that.

“Oh, he is,” Jihyo agreed, “I go over to his place a lot. I think during his break you’ll see him more here, I go to his taekwondo practices a lot too. Taehyun and Yunjin are obsessed with him.”

“She’s here!” Jihyo announced, the patrons in the laundromat not even really batting an eye at how loud her voice was, Mina had a feeling they were used to her outbursts.

Mina could see a head peeking over from the front desk, with hair short on the sides and longer on top, slightly spiky. He wore thin glasses and had a thin face, looking a bit more on the skinnier side than Mina was expecting. He was still in school uniform, a short sleeve white button up, he had already taken off his tie, Yunjin was gripping it and laughing as she waved it around. He must have hit a recent growth spurt, the hem of his slacks just barely higher than it would normally be, exposing his high top converse, originals like the ones Sana owned.

“Hello,” The boy made his way over, holding Yunjin in his arms as she giggled, “Its very nice to meet you. I’m San.”

“I’ve been told,” Mina smiled, “Jihyo has said nothing but good things about you.”

“Really?” He perked, “She’s not very good at saying it to someone’s face.”

“I’ve learned,” Mina looked to Jihyo’s slightly pouting expression.

“…You’re on the news, right?” San tilted his head curiously, “My dad always has it playing in the mornings, I usually see you at the 6:30 weather update.”

“That’s correct,” Mina confirmed, “I’m their morning weather reporter.”

“That’s so cool,” San’s eyes twinkled with a childlike curiosity, “I don’t think I want to be a weather reporter. But being on television must be so exciting!”

“It can be,” Mina agreed, “Its been my dream. Do you have any dreams of what you want to do San?”

San seemed to think very carefully about the question, letting Yunjin rub her hand on his cheek roughly. Mina could tell he spent a lot of time with them—Yunjin wasn’t batting an eye at being carried by him, in fact, she seemed to enjoy it a lot. She was all smiles and giggles.

“I don’t know,” San admitted, “I think I’m still a bit young, no? I don’t think I need to make a decision as of right now, though I know I need to put a bit more consideration into it soon.”

“Everyone goes at their own pace,” Mina reassured him, “Don’t worry too much about it.”

“I’ll try,” San agreed, looking to Jihyo shyly.

“Well?” Jihyo urged him, “Don’t be scared dude!”

“Is everything okay?” Mina looked between them curiously.

“Everything is fine!” San insisted, “She’s just—you see—”

“C’mon,” Jihyo groaned, “Just ask!”

“Ask me what?”

“Jihyo-noona says you’re good at games,” San looked down to his shoes, shuffling them on the floor.

Mina wanted to laugh. “I play them a lot,” She agreed, “I wouldn’t say I’m great.” She was trying to be modest—Mina felt like she was one of the best players she’d ever witnessed.

“She’s being humble,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “Pretty and humble, you sicken me...well, not actually—you’re really cool—”

“There’s a Pac-Man machine here,” San looked over to the entrance, where an older Pac-man arcade style box had been pushed against the wall. Mina had noticed it the moment she had first set foot into the laundromat, but she resisted.

“I see that, yes,” Mina agreed, “What about it?”

“I’ve been trying to beat the high score,” San mumbled, “Do you think…do you think you could help me out?”

Mina reminded herself not to get too carried away…just yet. She also wanted to not look too excited at the suggestion of playing an arcade game, in fear the aura of coolness she had over Jihyo and San might shatter at their realization. That realization being, Mina was a very, very big nerd. Yes, Jihyo teased her about it, but it wasn’t really true teasing. Mina doesn’t think Jihyo really thought about just how much of a nerd Mina actually was.

“I…could give you a few pointers,” Mina slowly agreed, “Do you need quarters?”

“I have some!” San was now jittering with excitement, “Can…May you please hold Yunjinnie for a moment?”

“Of course,” Mina agreed, taking Yunjin who looked over to her curiously. Today, Yunjin was wearing pigtails, both of them having her hair stick up spiky like the head of a pineapple. San dashed off to his backpack, opening a pocket and rummaging around.

“What’s up?” Mina greeted Yunjin, who began to yell incoherencies, mouth wide open in excitement.

“She’s always excited,” Jihyo laughed, “She’s definitely going to be a hyper kid.”

“And Taehyun?” Mina asked as San grabbed a small pouch from his bag, the sound of coins clinking inside it.

“He’s gonna be a very cool guy,” Jihyo announced confidently, “I can already tell.”

“I have them here!” San announced, Jihyo and Mina made their way over to the machine, where he had already begun to insert the coins. “I know how to manage the first rounds,” San explained, “But the higher levels start to get to me.”

“Then I’ll watch,” Mina remained cool, “I’ll just step in if I see you struggling or if you have any questions, yeah?”

“Sounds good,” He nodded, already beginning the level.

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:25 PM

“Get up—” Sana tossed Momo’s keys onto her lap. Momo scrambled to catch them, nearly dropping them four times before holding them in her hands tightly, breathing a sigh of relief.

“…Why?” Momo asked, already listening to Sana’s request and getting up, as Sana grabbed a box on the counter.

“I was cleaning the room,” Sana explained, “And I found a picture that I brought with me from home, its me and my parents at a carnival when I was a kid. I really like that picture, and then I thought about how my parents take a lot of pictures but have a bad habit of never transferring them to print. And then I thought about how we’ve been taking a lot of pictures lately, mostly because of the move and the travel we’ve been doing, I would have thought I had more photos. But I haven’t gone to develop any…and I don’t want to be like my parents in that sense, in every other sense I’d love to be like them—but not with pictures so I figured I’d get all the cameras we have to go develop them.”

“You’re rambling,” Momo patted Sana’s shoulder, “But okay, that works, we can go develop the pictures.”

“Does Mina have any cameras in her room?” Sana questioned, already walking to Mina’s door, “Is she even home?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Momo shrugged, “Maybe she’s hanging with Seonghwa or something?”

“She won’t mind if I just check, right?” Sana questioned.

“Probably not,” Momo shrugged, “I’m pretty sure she has a camera in the drawer of her nightstand.”

A few beats of silence later, and Sana was back out, “Okay let’s go,” She declared, as Momo opened the door for her, both walking side by side in the hallways, “We should go say hi to Jihyo,” Sana suggested, making her way to the staircase, “Just to check on her. Also to tell her in case Mina does come around and we’re still gone.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Momo agreed, opening the doors into the laundromat before hearing very familiar voices. The patrons around her seemed to not pay too much mind to it, which made sense given that one of those voices was very obviously Jihyo.

“Not like that!” Jihyo was yelling, “You’re doing it wrong!”

The second voice was completely unfamiliar, a younger boy replied, “I’m going exactly where you told me to go!” He sounded stressed.

The third voice made Momo and Sana exchange confused glances with one another.

“Watch out for Inky—I said watch out for Inky—oh my god—”

“Mina?” Sana questioned to Momo.

“I’m pretty sure,” Momo stifled a laugh, as they made their way over to the Pac-man machine nearby the front desk.

“San—” Jihyo was beside a boy who was hunched over the controls for the machine, furiously moving around, “Don’t—watch out!”

“You’re stressing me out!” He pleaded.

“San take Yunjin—” Mina shoved the baby to the kid named San, “Give me the control!”

San seemed relieved to take Yunjin from Mina, who was now moving the joystick aggressively around, San and Jihyo watched over her shoulders, holding both Taehyun and Yunjin, who were both laughing and yelling at the arguments.

“Like this—” Mina gritted her teeth in concentration, “And you need to get the fruit—”

“Uhm…Mina?” Sana called out, San and Jihyo whipped their heads around in surprise.

“Well hi,” Jihyo grinned, Momo saw her new lavender colored rubber bands, “Good to see you guys, good to see you guys. What…what’s up?”

“You’ve made a huge mistake,” Momo shook her head, “She’s not going to give that joystick up now.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Mina argued, back still turned, entirely absorbed in the game, “I’ll give it up…over my dead body.”

“Aw man,” Jihyo groaned, “This wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so scared of those stupid ghosts Sannie!”

“I’m trying!” He insisted, “Hello by the way—its very nice to meet you two. I’m San.”

“I figured,” Sana greeted him kindly, “You’re so cute! How old are you San?”

“14,” San smiled, “Almost 15.”

“In three months,” Jihyo corrected.

“That’s less than half a year,” San protested, “So its closer than further if you think about it.”

“What are you guys doing here?’ Jihyo questioned.

“Well we were going to leave a message for Mina,” Momo smiled slightly, “But I think we’ve found her.”

“We’re going to develop some pictures,” Sana told Mina, whose back was still turned.

“Sounds good,” Mina nodded, eyes glued to the game.

“We’re going to be gone for a bit,” Momo added, “Its a lot of cameras.”

“Sounds good,” Mina repeated. Jihyo smiled slightly, San held in his laugh.

“Are you really listening to us Minari?” Momo questioned.

“Got it,” Mina absentmindedly said, “Look! See! The fruit—” San and Jihyo drew their attention back to the game. Sana and Momo exchanged amused glances, knowing fully well that Mina was probably going to nearly crush the entire game in one sitting.

“See you later Minari,” Sana sang out, “Bye Jihyo! Nice to meet you San!”

“Uh-huh,” Jihyo didn’t turn.

“Have a good time,” San was the only one to smile to them before quickly bringing his attention back to the game.

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 4:42 PM

Sana had four hours to kill.

She knew they’d be stuck for a while, she was fully prepared for this outcome. So, she pulled Momo along, linking their arms together after they dropped off the cameras, dragging her out of the store to look around the plaza they ended up at.

There was a few shops she would have been interested in going to, but the thing Sana was craving was coffee—an iced one. Momo pointed out a cafe nearby, nothing special, but enough to suffice.

So Sana found themselves inside the shop, looking around the calming atmosphere.

“You know what I miss?” Sana made it a point to say, holding her iced americano with light creamer in her hands.

Momo simply hummed, drinking her chamomile tea quietly, shaking her head.

“Kyoto style cold brew,” Sana sighed wistfully, “I think about it a lot.”

“You’ve always been a big iced coffee lover,” Momo agreed, “I don’t know how you do it.”

“You drink your coffee with so much creamer it might as well be cold,” Sana teased, “I don’t think you have a say in teasing me about this.”

“I like my stuff sweet and lukewarm,” Momo corrected, “Not cold.”

“I miss the cold brew in Japan,” Sana whined, drinking her americano, “Do you ever get homesick?”

“Not really,” Momo shrugged, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt very home-y in my home, you know?”

“But you don’t miss anything?” Sana questioned, “Nothing at all?”

Momo seemed to take her question genuinely, taking another sip of her tea as she stared off, thinking very hard about Sana’s open ended question. Sana watched the way she brushed her bangs around, fixing an issue that wasn’t actually there, a habit Momo developed because she was always fidgeting.

“I guess…I miss your house,” Momo decided on, “I miss your parents a lot.”

Sana’s heart swelled. “I miss them too,” She agreed quietly, “I know they’re fine and all, but it was nice, having them nearby.”

“It was,” Momo agreed, “They really stepped in when I didn’t really have any direction…And your home was comfortable.”

“Full of love,” Sana smiled, feeling the nostalgia as they reminisced, “Always smelling like yuzu and sweets because my mom practically lives in the kitchen, just like you.”

“I miss the feeling I got when I was there,” Momo admitted, “That safe feeling I had knowing there was always somewhere I could go.”

“And what do you feel now?” Sana asked curiously.

“Well I—” Momo tried to find the right words, “I’m comfortable. I like the routine we have, I like being with Mina in the mornings and spending my days with you. I like seeing her on television, I like seeing all your work scattered on the floor and tables. I think I’m just getting used to a new routine.”

“Sometimes I forget we’re adults now,” Sana sighed, “I sometimes feel like I might be stuck at 18. With big feelings and big emotions I don’t know how to handle.”

“I mean we’re barely 22,” Momo pointed out, “We’ve barely been adults. We don’t even have full careers yet—”

“Mina is just a rare case,” Sana chuckled.

“Yeah,” Momo agreed, “Mina is just different like that. A good different.”

Sana felt a twist in her stomach, her conversation with Nayeon starting to irk her. The idea was always there, the longing she felt because sometimes Sana was just overwhelmed with the feelings of affection she felt, she just wanted to kiss them. She wanted to kiss Momo sometimes, when it was just them in their room, and Momo laid next to her, holding her hand as they talked quietly about life. She wanted to kiss Momo when she saw her in the kitchen, looking completely at peace to be in a space she called her own, when she rolled up her sleeves and her apron was tied around her waist tightly, covered in flour or oil. She wanted to kiss Momo when they danced at the clubs, when Momo wore tight turtlenecks that complimented her arms and abs, that rose up slightly when she danced, holding a drink in her hands and holding Sana with her other arm.

“…Can I ask you something?”

“Go for it,” Momo shrugged, “You don’t have to ask, you know?” Her eyes were shining, waiting patiently for Sana to gather her bearings. This was getting annoying, Sana realized. Why did Nayeon have to open that can of worms? Sana had a decent grip on it—ignore the overwhelming feelings of attraction and have fun hooking up. It was the best of both worlds, but Sana was starting to realize she was having a hard time handling this. Maybe it was because she hadn’t been laid in a few months, all her affections were starting to build up without release. Or maybe it was that stupid fucking question Nayeon decided to ask that smacking a heavy dose of realization over Sana’s entire being—

She was looking to Momo. Her dark red lipstick, the way her eyes were shining. It was everything Sana saw everyday, but she couldn’t help be drawn to it. Momo’s dark hair that was always so soft, her bangs she had since childhood, a feature she had no desire to give up. She was wearing a soft baby blue button up, a white tank underneath and tucked into her bootcut jeans. She had always been curvier—all soft lines and strong muscle. With a strong jaw and a knack for small shy smiles in their silences. Traces of faint scars over her exposed collarbones—

Sana’s mind was racing.

“…Have you ever though that Mina and I would be good together?”

Sana wanted to slam her head into the table. Momo stopped drinking her tea mid sip, obviously not expecting the question with the way she froze slightly, eyes widening.

“Whoa,” Momo set her cup down, “Whoa—”

“That didn’t come out right!” Sana was scrambling, brain getting ideas and wonders mixed together, “That didn’t come out right at all—”

She tried to take a distracted sip of her americano, only to feel it go down the wrong pipe (though, technically—there was no such thing. It was actually simply just your body accidentally letting a foreign object enter into your windpipe—hence the aspiration that usually occurred. Thanks, Nayeon, for that lesson.) She began to cough and hack, feeling the way she struggled to catch her breath. Sana gripped the table, feeling her cheeks grow warm as she continued to essentially cough up her left lung.

“Breathe Sana,” Momo set her hands over Sana’s, holding them in place, “Chill. Get yourself together.”

“Oh my god,” Sana squeezed her eyes shut, nearly wheezing, “I’m sorry.”

“Its okay,” Momo said with a hint of confusion, “I mean I’m a little thrown off, but its not the end of the world.”

“Its just—” Sana sighed, trying to catch her breath, “Nayeon asked me about it. Not in a bad way or anything, she had just asked if we ever had. Because like—”

“Mina is beautiful,” Momo shook her head in complete understanding, “And you’re beautiful. And you’re both…you know…” She trailed off, “I get it. I’ve thought the same thing, too.”

“Huh? You’ve thought about what too? About Mina?” Sana’s brain was now halted in their tracks.

“Eh?” Momo’s face went ablaze, “No—no—not me and her…or well…no, no,” She shook her head vigorously, “I-I meant about you two—”

“You’ve thought about me and her?” Sana questioned, “Like…like how?” Really, Sana shouldn’t have tried any implication, but she’d noticed she was having an even harder time shutting her mouth more than usual lately.

“Like,” Momo tried to motion with her hands, maybe being gracious enough to overlook Sana’s question, “You guys look good together. I watch you guys and its…it looks like its a thing that could happen. I don’t know?”

“Nayeon said the same thing,” Sana admitted, twiddling with her straw, “That it just looks like something that could happen.”

“I get it,” Momo reassured Sana, “…Have…have you been thinking about it lately…? Like, about Mina?”

“I don’t…” Sana felt her neck beginning to burn, “Sometimes I have.” Sometimes I think about you, too.

“That’s okay Sana,” Momo smiled slightly, “I mean you guys spend a lot of time together, it would be a thing to pass through your mind eventually. Mina is beautiful…she’s funny and she’s always been more reserved sure, but believe me, she really does match your energy. When we go to the clubs, its always her you end up dancing with, its always you two who take shots and laugh. Its you Mina will always let hold her, and she’ll hold you back with just as much affection, just…more quiet.”

“You say this as if you’ve thought about it a lot,” Sana could feel her heart pounding, “Do you think about Mina…?” The question slipped out before Sana could stop herself, too caught up in this conversation to watch her words.

Momo blinked a few times, as if absorbing the meaning of Sana’s question. There was a heavy silence, Sana could feel her blood running cold.

“I’m sorry—” She quickly tried to recover but Momo beat her to it.

“Its okay,” She said quickly, “Don’t apologize. I guess I have thought about her in a sense—but more in the sense she makes me feel really…safe. I don’t think anyone has ever made me feel as safe as you do except for her.” Momo looked right into Sana’s eyes, “I guess that’s why I consider the idea of you two dating. I don’t exactly know how it would affect things, like, you know…” Momo motioned to herself, “Because I’d never want to get in the way of your happiness Satang. If your happiness is in Mina, who am I to be in between it?”

“What if…what if I said my happiness is within you two?” Sana knew exactly what Momo was going to say. Maybe it was the perk of knowing someone over half your life. You just know.

“I get it,” Momo nodded, “I think the same thing a lot. About how when I think about who I’m going to be in say…ten years, I still imagine you two by my side. Maybe not necessarily with me in the middle of it…but you’re both there. Always. I don’t know what it means, but I’d never want to hurt either of you. So just believe me when I say, if you wanted to try to pursue Mina, because maybe there’s a chance she thinks the same thing as you, I wouldn’t be upset. I get happy seeing you two happy.”

“You’re very empathetic, Momoring,” Sana grabbed her drink quietly, the buzz in her brain not really calming down and in fact feeling even more conflicted than it did five minutes ago. But she understood what Nayeon meant, to be extremely empathetic. Who else would feel joy seeing two people she loved (in some sense, Sana was just unsure in what sense) be in love? Momo, of course. Her and her ever giving soul. It nearly tore Sana apart.

They would finish their drinks with casual conversation. It would feel as if they didn’t have that previous conversation at all, Sana especially appreciated that from Momo, how easily she could move on from topics. She saw Sana’s distraught behavior, and switched to talking about work. Sana could focus on that, she could focus on listening to Momo talk about how her chef master yelled at them for chopping a fish inappropriately.

They walked around the plaza, arms still linked together, gazing at items they didn’t even need. They saw things Mina might like, and it felt so natural to bring her up in conversation like this—about things that would make her happy. Sana liked making Mina happy, she liked making Momo happy, too.

And before she knew it, they were laughing and joking as they always did. Pushing each other around and teasing each other because Sana tripped over nothing and Momo ran into a door frame. Sure, they received looks, but they always did, because when Sana was with Momo she felt much more carefree. Because when she was with Momo it was just so easy, like second nature, to be close with her.

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:46 PM

Four hours passed much more quickly with someone Sana loved spending her days with, the sun beginning to grow orange as they made their way back to the development department, Sana’s name scribbled on at four full packages of photos.

She held them in the box she brought the cameras in, sitting in the passenger’s seat of Momo’s truck, as Momo turned up the radio just a tad bit. All Sana could hear was the road on the tires and her own heart pounding.

“I wonder if we can hang any of these up,” Sana was just talking to talk, beginning to rummage through a few of the photos, “The walls still feel a bit bare, no?”

“Definitely,” Momo nodded, “Your parents have the whole hallway filled with photos of you.”

“And you,” Sana snorted, shuffling through a few she had taken at her and Mina’s graduation last year, “Oh! This one is perfect.” Momo was between them, arms around them excitedly, as Sana was grinning widely hugging Momo right back. Mina was on the other side, leaning closely, her own smile gleaming.

“What are the photos from the camera from Mina’s room?” Momo gazed to the pile of pictures for a split moment, keeping her eyes on the road.

“You know…its funny you say that,” Sana opened the last unopened package, “You said she had a camera in her nightstand drawer, and she did. But, there was another one pushed up on one of her shelves—I figured she wouldn’t mind me going to take them developed, the camera was dusty anyways.”

“The camera on her shelf…?” Momo’s face scrunched.

“So, because it was dusty, it’s probably been a while since it had been used. Maybe two-ish years or so? I’ve definitely seen her use it when she was living in her dorm. I don’t know if she just forgot about it or—”

“Sana.” Momo’s tone was suddenly very stone-ish, firm in her voice as Sana turned to her a bit taken aback.

“What…?” Sana questioned, already shuffling through the photos, looking to see pretty simple pictures, some nature photography, some pictures from when Mina went off to the beach—

“Sana—” Momo repeated, sounding nearly panicked, “I don’t think you should be—”

“Should what?” Sana asked, suddenly stopping at a photo of a very, very haunting ghost of her past. Her blood ran cold, feeling icicles crawling down her spine, her heart feeling like it nearly stopped. A picture, freshly developed, it was still warm. A man, a very familiar man, a picture taken of him in a very compromising position, enough so that she felt her own face burn just at the mere sight of it. Her hand shook as she held the photo.

“…Why is there a picture of my professor?” Sana found her voice, her grip tightening as she asked, low and quietly, “Why the hell does Mina have a picture of our old professor like this?”

“Satang—” Momo tried, unable to take her eyes off the road, but Sana could see the worry in her expression.

“Don’t Satang me,” Sana said sharply, her blood no longer icy but burning beyond comprehension, a mixture of confusion, anxiety, and anger coursing through her, “What the fuck is this?”

“Sana,” Momo begged, “Its not what you think—”

“What I think?” Sana scoffed, her entire mind dreading but unable to tear away from the picture, “What I think I see is a fucking photo of my ex fucking boyfriend with his pants around his ankles, on his knees, looking into Mina’s camera. That’s what I think I fucking see—am I missing something?”

“Sana,” Momo finally parked into the parking garage, “Sana, Sana, Sana—” She hurriedly unbuckled her seatbelt, leaning over the console and scooting her way to the middle, pressing her palms against Sana’s shoulders. The pressure made Sana realize she had begun breathing heavily, Momo was awkwardly trying to keep balance, keeping her hands on Sana’s shoulders, gently pinning her to the seat.

“Breathe Sana,” Momo whispered, looking to Sana pleadingly, “Just breathe, okay?”

“Did you know about this?” Sana questioned, holding on the picture with a death grip, hand shaking uncontrollably.

“I—” Momo looked conflicted, pursing her lips tightly as if she was hitting a mental block, “Sort of?”

“Sort of?” Sana snapped, “Sort of?”

“I’m sorry,” Momo pleaded, Sana could feel herself starting to hyperventilate. “Hey, hey,” Momo whispered again, pulling Sana into a hug, her arms strong and tight around Sana’s body. Sana could feel the hot panicked tears starting to blur her vision, smelling Momo’s rose and amber perfume, and even in her anger, the sheer scent of Momo’s perfume calmed her down.

“Momo, I need you to explain what the hell is going on,” Sana pleaded, breaking for a moment, taking Momo’s face into her hands, cupping her cheeks so Momo could only look at her and Sana could only look to Momo, trying to anchor herself before she actually lost it.

“I don’t…its not my place to explain,” Momo sounded helpless, “I hardly know what happened either. I think…I think this is something you need to talk to Mina about.”

“I don’t—” Sana shook her head, Momo shushed her.

“Just breathe Satang,” Momo coaxed her carefully, rubbing Sana’s hand with her palms, “Its not…Its not like that. Mina didn’t like…explore anything. I don’t…I don’t really know either, but I have faith in Mina. Mina is good, she’s been good Sana. Just…just ask her?”

“What am I even supposed to say?” Sana chuckled out dryly, “Hey, why do you have photos of my ex boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Momo nodded, obviously not understanding the sardonicism, “Just ask. I’m sure she has the real explanation Sana.”

“Holy fucking shit,” Sana cursed, throwing her head back to hit the cushion of the headrest, “What the fuck is going on with today?”

“I don’t know,” Momo admitted, sounding so sad it nearly made Sana want to take back her very validated panic, “I really don’t know.”

“…Is her scooter here?” Sana asked, shutting her eyes for a moment, simply letting Momo hug her reassuringly, cramped in Momo’s truck.

“It is,” Momo nodded, “She has to be back at the apartment by now.”

“Fuck,” Sana dryly laughed, grabbing the photo again, “Fine. Okay. Yes, I’ll go talk to her.”

“I’ll give you two some privacy…” Momo pulled away unsurely, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Not really,” Sana smiled bitterly, “I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Dread? Panic? Concern? Anger? Confusion? There’s not even enough words to try to proper describe it.”

“I’ll wait then,” Momo nodded, reaching and brushing Sana’s hair away from her face, pushing it behind her ear. There was a moment, despite Sana’s spinning mental tracks, where her heart skipped a beat. When Momo’s hand lingered behind her ear, gently brushing the shell of it. Where Momo simply studied her, eyes guilty with a hint of understanding. Where Sana felt like maybe she was the only object in Momo’s vision. Where the truck was silent and she could feel Momo’s fingers fix her hair. The entire action made Sana shiver, she wanted to melt into Momo’s affection before she mentally slapped herself.

“I…” Sana trailed, unbuckling her seatbelt, “Okay. Okay yeah. I’ll…I’ll go talk to her. I’ll see you soon.”

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:58 PM

The moment Mina saw the front door open, she knew something was wrong.

Sana was a woman who wore her heart on her sleeve, maybe even just right across her chest, always showing exactly what she was thinking, always rambling about her inner musings. Mina found it endearing, the way Sana could go on and on about topics that interested her, able to keep the conversation going in social situations in which Mina and Momo struggled.

But with this came a bad thing—when Sana was feeling negative, Mina could practically feel it emitting off of her. Such as now, as Sana whipped the front door open, and Mina was blasted with utter dread. Sana’s eyes weren’t twinkling, they looked dulled, distracted as she nearly slammed the door behind her.

Mina stiffened up on the sofa, watching Sana carefully.

“Hey…?” She tried, as Sana took off the sweater she had been wearing, tossing it to the floor and making a beeline for the kitchen, very obviously avoiding Mina’s eye contact. She was left in her white camisole, Mian could see the redness on her shoulders and neck—Sana’s blood was burning.

“How’d going to get the pictures developed go…?” Mina pushed herself off the couch, turning to see Sana rummaging through the fridge, taking out a half-drank bottle of soju. She popped the cap off, not caring where it landed, Mina could hear it clatter somewhere.

Sana still did not answer Mina’s attempts at conversation, bringing the bottle to her lips and lifting it. Mina watched as Sana downed a portion of it, her eyebrows furrowing and her eyes squeezed shut. Mina slowly shuffled to the counter, standing across from Sana unsurely.

“Sana, chill,” Mina pleaded, as Sana finally pulled the bottle away from her, placing it on the counter with a loud clang. Sana only let out a small noise of dissatisfaction, bringing her palms up and furiously wiping away at her eyes.

“Satang…what’s wrong?” Mina was now concerned, trying to make her way over to Sana to check on her. Sana took a few steps away, holding a finger up for Mina.

“Don’t.” She said very, very firmly, in a tone that made Mina flinch.

So, she didn’t, Mina listened very well to Sana’s singular request, keeping her arms behind her back and taking a few steps back around the counter again, till the giant slab of granite separated them. Sana shut her eyes, taking a few deep breaths, running a hand through her hair.

“You have…so much explaining to do,” Sana finally said, her voice almost sounding like a completely different person, stoic and cold, and not very warm in the typical Sana-like fashion Mina was accustomed to.

“Okay,” Mina agreed, “But you need to tell me what I need to explain.”

Sana brought up her hand, beginning to bite away at her thumb nail, reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper, tossing it face down on the counter. It landed in front of Mina, who stared down to the piece of film confused.

…This is a picture, Mina resisted the urge to sarcastically say, feeling Sana would definitely not appreciate it at the moment.

“I went to your room to grab a camera Momo said you had in your drawer,” Sana quietly explained, keeping her nail close to her teeth, “I noticed you had another camera on your shelf.”

Mina’s heart stopped. Sana seemed to take notice of her change, watching her with a knowing glint on her eyes.

“So you know about that camera?” Sana asked, “You know, I just thought you might’ve forgotten about it or something. Yeah, I’m sorry I grabbed it without asking but I really didn’t think you had anything to hide.”

“Oh shit…” Mina muttered, feeling her hands grow clammy, ripping off the bandage of her fate, grabbing the picture and flipping it around. She already knew exactly what photo Sana had been referring to, even before Mina flipped it over.

It felt like ages ago, in truth, it was probably nearly 3 years ago, but in this moment, Mina felt like it could have just happened yesterday.

Their psychology professor wasn’t an ugly man, far from it actually. Though, Mina was a bit picky about teeth, and she definitely could tell he didn’t take great care of his.

“Listen,” Sana said with a tight tone, hardened enough so that Mina felt herself shrink back, “I’m so fucking close to just losing it. The only thing keeping me grounded is that Momo said to talk to you. She said to trust you, I trust Momo with my entire soul—and Minari, I want to trust you,” Sana was pleading, “I just want to know what the fuck is the purpose of this photo—“

“I can explain,” Mina said quickly, “I swear on it Sana.”

“Just answer me this first,” Sana whispered, “Did you guys…?”

Mina knew Sana didn’t want to finish that sentence.

“No,” She shook her head, “No, no, it wasn‘t like that at all. I-I mean, I did some dumb shit, sure…but I didn’t like…do that with him.”

“Because Mina,” Sana’s eyes grew watery again, “I don’t know what I’d do if I found out he did to you what he did to me—“ Her voice trailed off, sounding strained as she swallowed nervously.

“No, no,” Mina suddenly felt a crushing amount of guilt unable to imagine the emotions Sana was swirling through right now. Because from an outside perspective, it looked incredibly scandalous. From anyone’s eyes, it looked as if Mina kept a sexual photo of one of her best friend’s ex-boyfriends, the worst one of them all. It looked as if something might have happened after, something that involved well…you tell me, really. What else would two people do with one of them on their knees?

“That’s not it at all,” Mina begged, sitting on the stool, “Sana I can explain everything. I swear.”

“…Okay,” Sana nodded, exhaling, her eyes puffy and her skin patchy from stress, “Then explain. I’m all ears.”

Mina eyed the soju. Sana took notice, quietly sliding the bottle across the counter, as Mina caught it. She took a massive swig, hoping her not eating much today would make it work faster, knowing she was going to need to be very, very embarrassingly honest to salvage her relationship with Sana.

“It was after that night I first stayed with you guys…”

Chapter Text

April 12th, 1995. Approximate time, 1:13 PM

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this—” Jihyo was quick to comment once Mina finished the whole situation of the night before, “But like…” Jihyo was struggling to find the right words, “You are…so…cool. Sick as hell. Badass. Da bomb. Dope as hell—”

“Jihyo,” Mina gently scolded, “That’s not what you should be taking from all of this.” Secretly, Mina preened.

“But—” Jihyo’s eyes were twinkling, “You did that! That! Blackmailed a professor to protect Sana—”

“I could have gotten arrested.”

“That makes it even cooler!” Jihyo whined, “You risked it all! You’re so cool—”

“Let’s just move on from that,” Mina pleaded, “Just…what’s your opinion on…everything else…?”

“Oh that?” Jihyo scoffed, thinking long and hard for a moment.

“…Oh, damn.”

Jihyo’s tone was exactly what Mina was feeling on the inside. Genuinely surprised. “…Oh damn?” Mina repeated flatly.

“Yup,” Jihyo nodded, very sure of her statement, “Like…that’s all that’s running through my head.”

Mina sighed.

“Like…you actually did that?” Jihyo questioned, they were sitting at the front desk of the laundromat, somewhere Mina’s darks were going through their wash, sitting in Nayeon’s typical seat. She knew the moment Nayeon came home, she’d be kicked off it. But she supposed that’s how the hierarchy should be. Nayeon would always be more important to Jihyo than Mina, and she had no problem with that. Her dilemma, however…

“What do you mean, actually?” Mina questioned, still feeling embarrassed after sharing her entire encounter with Sana. Well, most of it anyway. As best as Mina could without invading Sana’s privacy in all of this.

“Just…” Jihyo shrugged, Yunjin was squirming in her lap. Taehyun was a lot more peacefully sitting in Mina’s lap, she liked hugging him like a teddy bear because he just kind of let her do whatever. “I mean, I figured you had to have a crush on one of them,” Jihyo pointed out, “I just wasn’t sure which one.”

“…Why would you think that?”

“Uhm, I know what relationships look like,” Jihyo scoffed, “I’m 17, not 7. I see Jeongyeon-unnie and Nayeon-unnie being all in love. I see how affectionate they are, the way they hold each other. They act like I don’t know when they’ve had sex but again—” She motioned to her babies, “I’m not an idiot.”

“…What does this have to do with Momo and Sana?” Mina questioned, feeling a bit embarrassed discussing actual sex with Jihyo. Maybe Jihyo wasn’t the smartest choice to talk to this about.

“What I’m saying is—” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “I know what it looks like when someone is in love with someone. The confusing part is, you guys act like you’re all in love with each other. Granted, Sana and Momo have been close for years, so its a bit less strange for them.”

You guys act like you’re all in love with each other.

“But I don’t know if you see it, but I know I do,” Jihyo continued, “Sana looks to Momo like she’s going to break if she makes one wrong move, like she’s this delicate flower that needs lots of tenderness. Momo looks at you like you hung the stars or some shit. And then you look at Sana like if she’s this spark you needed in your life.”

Momo looks at her like she hung the stars…?

“So I figured something was going to come out of it,” Jihyo again, said as if this was not in fact, a huge deal and a giant eye opening moment for Mina. Maybe Jihyo wasn’t the worst option to talk to about this, “Although if I’m being honest, I could’ve sworn it would have been you and Momo.”

Mina’s cheeks burned, eyes wide. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Jihyo nodded, bouncing Yunjin along on her lap, making the baby laugh. Jihyo looked proud.

“Why…what…wha—how—” Mina couldn’t collect the right strong of words.

“I dunno,” Jihyo replied, “Like I said, she always looks at you as if you hung the stars. And while you and Sana are always so openly affectionate, both of you tend to be very kind with her. I think its sweet you treat her so kindly. You’re very careful…is there a reason for that?”

“…I’m not sure,” Mina suddenly admitted, trying to think back as far as she could as to why, “I just saw Sana being like that with her, so I kind of just followed along. I just thought it was because of how she is, kind of to herself. Though, if I’m being honest, I do flirt a lot with her.”

“Oh?” Jihyo’s eyes were twinkling with curiosity, “So you and Momo flirt then?”

“Well—” Mina tried to recollect herself, “I mean, I make flirty comments to her. I know she likes them. They make her feel good. I like making her feel good.”

“And Sana?”

“I mean, I let her be as affectionate as she wants to be with me,” Mina explained, “I know she likes it. It makes her happy. I like making her happy.”

“Now you’re just being confusing,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “You flirt with Momo to make her feel good and you let Sana be affectionate because it makes her happy—what do you like?”

“I think…” Mina’s mind was starting to swirl, “I just like making them smile.”

“Ugh,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “You’re too nice sometimes.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m nice,” Mina wrinkled her nose, recalling some very bold choices she’d made in her lifetime, “I’m kind of really impulsive sometimes.”

“I can see that,” Jihyo snorted, “I mean, you blackmailed a professor for Sana. Also…you get very upset over video games—”

“Because you can’t play them right,” Mina quickly snipped, rolling her eyes, “But I meant more that I’m…I’m not as nice as you give me credit for. I’m nice to people I like.”

“Like any other person,” Jihyo shrugged, “But you should really start thinking about what you want to do. Do you like—”

“Don’t say it out loud,” Mina hushed her, feeling embarrassed, “This isn’t something you can ask me out loud, Jihyo.”

Jihyo sighed, rolling her eyes but complying regardless.

“Let’s say Sana is like…a really sunny day, but the kind of day where its not too hot and there’s a gentle breeze,” Jihyo settled on, “And Momo is a rainstorm. The kind that’s gray but makes you feel homey to watch it from inside your home. Which do you like better?”

“They each bring something different I enjoy,” Mina’s response was automatic, “Sunny days are great for the beach. We need the rain to bring the flowers. I like to go swimming, but I also like to stay in.”

“God,” Jihyo sighed, “You’re hopeless. At this point, maybe you should just go into this headfirst like you did with the professor. Just go with what you think.”

“I don’t…I do that a lot don’t I?” Mina realized, “But I don’t know if I should—”

“Maybe you should,” Jihyo suggested, “And then you can figure out which you like more.”

“But I don’t want to like one of them more than the other,” Mina sighed, “I like being around them both. I don’t think its a very smart idea to get romantic with best friends. My best friends who are best friends with each other at that.”

“I dunno,” Jihyo continued to bounce Yunjin on her leg, making her baby laugh out loud. It was a cute sight, seeing Jihyo’s hair still frazzled, clipping up out of her face, smiling so affectionately to her daughter. “What if Momo wanted to try something? What if Sana wanted to try something? What would you do then?”

“I guess…” Mina thought, “I feel like I’d have no other choice than to agree. For both of them.”

“So ask and see which one wants to try something.”

“You make it sound a lot easier than it is,” Mina frowned.

“I mean I’m 17, not 7,” Jihyo repeated, “But I’m also a 17 year old with very little experience. I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. So maybe I’m seeing this a little differently than you.”

Mina blinked. The words slowly sank into her mind, registering a few seconds later. “How do you—” Mina tried to point out, looking down to Taehyun in her lap. That statement was not making any sense to Mina given the fact she was literally holding a part of Jihyo’s flesh and blood. “I—I’m sorry…I’m confused.”

“What’s confusing about it?” Jihyo genuinely did not see the strangeness of her statement.

“How do you have sex and not have kissed him?” Mina tried to wrap her head around it, “No…no judgement Jihyo. But…I don’t…”

“Oh,” Jihyo said simply, as if realizing the disparity of her statement, “I did what I did out of pure survival instinct.”

“Did what?” Mina questioned, still thoroughly confused, “Have sex?”

“Yeah…I’ve been going to therapy,” Jihyo was too distracted with Yunjin to give Mina her full attention, saying these things with such a neutral, borderline distracted tone. Mina wondered if this was a bit of a coping mechanism on Jihyo’s part—separating herself from it, “Jeongyeon-unnie and Nayeon-unnie decided it would be best for me. Because, I didn’t have the best control of my anger. Sometimes I still don’t but I like to think I’ve gotten a lot better with it.”

“I see,” Mina said quietly, listening carefully, “Does this also have something to do with you having sex and not having kissed anyone?”

“Yeah,” Jihyo nodded, becoming a bit more aware of her words, looking up to watch Mina’s reactions carefully, “…I was a really sensitive kid. I was really quick to anger. Only Jeongyeon-unnie and Nayeon-unnie saw past my attitude and helped me. So I trusted them enough to admit a lot of things. Like…well…um…I-I don’t know—” Jihyo was losing her nerve.

“Hey,” Mina reached over, placing her hand on Jihyo’s hand carefully, “We’re friends here. Don’t be afraid to talk to me about stuff if you need to. I mean…you’re the only person I’ve talked to about the whole…uhm…Sana, Momo, and me thing.”

“Really…?” Jihyo looked to her curiously, “You haven’t talked to anyone else?”

“I’m not as nice as you give me credit for,” Mina repeated, “You’re my closest friend I’ve got here aside from Sana and Momo. And I can’t talk to either of them about well…them.”

“…I like being your friend,” Jihyo said, her tone honest, a lot kinder than the usual sarcastic edge she had, “I don’t have a lot of friends. Not close to my age at least. Except San. But…there’s a lot I don’t tell San. I mean…he’s only 14.”

“Almost 15,” Mina chuckled, “In a few months.”

Jihyo laughed lightly, twisting her hand to hold Mina’s hand in her own. She watched as Jihyo’s expression morphed into something like concentration, “But its hard sometimes,” Jihyo quietly admitted, “Because there’s such a difference talking to someone younger than me like him. I want him to look at the world and see hopefulness. He’s so young, I don’t want him to really understand how the world can be. Not yet, not like that at least.”

“I get that,” Mina nodded quietly, “Sometimes…I think that when I’m around you. Because you’re younger than me, and I don’t want you to know how it can be. But…something tells me you already kind of know how that world can be. Is that true?”

“…The reason I was asking about Momo…” Jihy changed the subject again, “Is because of what you told me.”

“About how I see similarities in you two?”

“Yeah—” Jihyo said unsurely, “I don’t know. I think it would be worth trying to ask her about it,” Jihyo added, “Because…well…you said she didn’t have a great childhood.”

“Yes,” Mina confirmed, “I don’t know a lot. She doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“She probably has a reason,” Jihyo said honestly, “I don’t like to talk about mine either. Because…I made a lot of mistakes trying to protect myself. If her childhood was anything like mine—there’s probably a really good reason Sana does everything in her power to never hurt Momo.”

“You know…” Mina admitted slowly, feeling her thoughts swarm, “I-I never tried to pursue anything because I always thought they’d end up together.”

“Really?” Jihyo chuckled.

“I mean,” Mina considered, “Every time Momo talks about Sana, she always describes her as the closest representation to love that exists. That night in her apartment, I listened to her absentmindedly profess her love. Maybe she knows it, maybe she doesn’t. But even just listening to her express her feelings about Sana somehow pushed me enough to well…do what I did. And every time Sana talks about Momo, she describes her as this solid foundation, this sturdy tower that’s never faltered even when Sana felt like she was crashing and burning. Its like…how do I compete with that? How do I compete with soulmates to that extent?”

“You’re buggin,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “You fit right in. Like I said, I can’t even tell who’s in love with who. And besides…there’s probably a reason nothing has come up yet. I mean…what? They’ve been friends for over a decade? There’s probably a reason why nothing has happened yet and I bet it has a lot to do with Momo’s childhood.”

“You think so?”

“I think so,” Jihyo agreed, “I mean, I had sex without even having my first kiss. I literally had sex with a guy and refused to kiss him, because I think to me at least, my first kiss should be with someone I actually like. Like a lot.”

Mina stayed quiet for a moment. “…You didn’t like him?” Mina asked.

Jihyo wrinkled her nose, “Not really. I mean, he was okay, but I was already expelled from school for a while, he just lived in my neighborhood so it was much more convenient.”

Mina stayed quiet for another minute, really listening and absorbing Jihyo’s words. They held hands, Mina was still holding Taehyun with her other arm. Jihyo was ruffling and twirling Yunjin’s hair in her fingers, Mina could see the way she was fidgeting, waiting for Mina to continue the conversation.

Mina waited for a moment, really observing Jihyo. With her thick hair, the same hair her babies had. Her wide, brown, round eyes, just as her babies had. Mina wondered how much about Jihyo she didn’t know. For someone who looked, and was, so young, Mina found that Jihyo was simultaneously very aware just as much as she was unaware. Mina found herself caring for Jihyo. For her snarky comments, and for her knack for stuttering when she got shy. Mina can’t really remember anyone in her life she grew closer to, like she did Jihyo. No one aside from Sana and Momo. But Jihyo was right beside her, their own little routine developing, because even if Mina loved her personal space, she’d learned she liked conversing with Jihyo more. She liked greeting Nayeon when she came downstairs, feeling Jihyo shove her off the seat. She wondered if they’d stay close, if this was something that would last longer than just a few years while Sana finished her graduate studies. A large part of her really hoped so. Because Mina was just now understanding, just as she might have been one of Jihyo’s first friends…with Mina’s track record, Jihyo was one of her first friends, too.

“…Why’d you do it?” Mina asked quietly, the air changing just the slightest bit around them. To something more serious, because something about this situation brought a sense of dread coursing through Mina’s veins. Mina looked around, careful to make sure no one was nearby, “Why did you have sex with a guy you hardly knew?”

Jihyo stared off, looking to Yunjin’s hair, the desk, the tiled floors, everywhere but Mina.

“…I mean it was either him or my step-dad,” Jihyo said with as much casualness as she could muster, even if her words slapped Mina across the face. Or more like launched themselves at her like a ton of bricks. Crushing Mina’s chest until it felt like she couldn’t breathe as well as before.

“And well,” Jihyo shrugged, “I mean no one wants to have sex with someone who’s supposed to be your parental figure. So…a random kid on my street felt like the best choice. At least I had some say in that one.”

Mina took a deep breath, trying to calm her boiling blood. This…this made Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s protectiveness over Jihyo make a hell of a lot more sense. She wasn’t just an impulsive teen who made one too many mistakes—she was a victim of a situation that had no proper win. Then Mina learned there really was a lot more to learn about Park Jihyo. Every piece of her mind decided she would learn everything she could about her.

“Did your step dad…?”

“Oh yeah,” Jihyo scoffed, nodding, “Oh yes. Everything you’re thinking…yeah, probably. Just not the actual—” Jihyo stopped for a moment. Like a mental block was slapping her face, blinking a few times, “Yeah. You know. That. Really, it was like…not good at all. It was very bad. I was always angry, and aggressive. I-I don’t like to really dwell on it, but sometimes it can’t be helped. And I remember how he did kiss me, sometimes. Even when I didn’t want him to. Or well, really, I never wanted him to. To do any of that. And…I think I deserve to have a say in that. So…that doesn’t count as my first kiss, I decided. I want my first kiss to be with someone I want. I want to be able to decide who I kiss. So…I’ve never been kissed.”

“Yeah,” Mina swallowed the ball in her throat, emotions running high, “I get you. You should be able to have a first kiss experience, with someone you decide.”

“I think I deserve that much,” Jihyo agreed, “The sex part—well…I can’t pretend I didn’t have sex. I mean—” Yunjin babbled. Mina let out a small laugh, as if Yunjin knew her cue. Jihyo smiled.

“But the kiss,” She continued, “Yeah. Eventually I’ll get that. I don’t know when, but I don’t really think I’m actively looking for it. I think…I think I have other things in my life to focus on.”

“I get that,” Mina agreed, “You deserve that much at least, Jihyo.”

“Yeah…” Jihyo’s eyes were downcast, “Anyway—um…thanks for listening. I think your clothes are finished washing—shall we switch them?” She let go of Mina’s hand, but let her palm linger, patting Mina’s hand a few times awkwardly.

It certainly had to be a coping mechanism, Mina decided as they both stood up, making their way to the washer, the one Jihyo said washed the best. Jihyo had to keep it as casual as possible to be able to open up about her situation—Mina wondered if her therapist encouraged her to talk about these topics with people she trusted. Mina felt another revelation—Jihyo wouldn’t have told her if she didn’t trust her. Mina wondered what Jihyo was thinking, Jihyo had to see her as someone she trusted enough to tell these things to. Mina had never been an older friend, she always let herself be tended to because she ended up being the youngest in most groups.

But Jihyo was younger than her, Jihyo looked up to her. Jihyo trusted her.

…Mina was glad Jihyo was out of that situation. For a number of reasons. For her safety, for her happiness, for her sanity. But, also, because if Mina ever found out who the sick fucking bastard that put his hands on her was, she might not be able to control herself.

“…Thanks Jihyo,” Mina said, when they moved her clothes to the dryer, and Jihyo pressed the start button with a satisfying press.

“For what?” Jihyo snorted, “The free wash and dry? You hang out with me so it balances out.”

“No,” Mina shook her head, “For trusting me.”

“Oh.” Jihyo said, ears going a bit pink at the tips, “I just like you, I guess. Thanks for listening Mina-unnie.”

April 12th, 1995. Approximate time, 11:58 PM

The tossing and turning during the night was only getting worse. Mina never had issues sleeping, not until recently. Because…her mind was starting to be plagued with a swarm of thoughts. Lots of racing thoughts, ranging from stresses about work, to the state of her friendship with Sana, to her growing curiosity about Momo.

Sana and Momo, those were the two that could just never leave her alone every night. Or well, in her mind, of course. The real Sana and Momo were sleeping quite comfortably just a room away, just one wall behind Mina’s bed frame. She could even imagine it—Momo curled up small because she always made herself shrink, Sana splayed out, because she could never not make her presence known. The real Sana and Momo were minding their own business.

But the Sana and Momo in Mina’s head—they were driving her insane.

Because, nearly every night, for about a month now, Mina would wake up. She’d wake up with a slight pound in her head, behind her eyes. Body running nearly feverish (she might just be a bit dramatic), a flush to her cheeks, a bit of sweat layered over her skin. Images of parts of their bodies she had never even seen—like her mind was running a thousand miles an hour to fill in the blanks. Of Sana’s angular shoulders, the sharpness of her shoulder blades. Of Momo’s toned stomach, of the curve of her hips. Of Sana’s laughter and her permanently pouty lips. Of Momo’s grin and her full-shaped dark red lips. And they’d all end the same, no matter the scenario. With Mina, Sana, and Momo. All three of them—it was making Mina’s head spin.

Because, they weren’t just any normal dreams. Mina was a virgin sure, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have an imagination. She imagined what their skin felt like beneath her palms, Sana’s thighs and Momo’s abs. How their lips would feel against her neck, how her lips would feel to bite into their skin gently, maybe even a little harshly. Would they moan? Whine? Gasp? Each and every dream was different, but the results were all the same. Mina snapping awake before it could go any further, jarred at how real it would feel—like she could feel the weight of Momo straddling her or the pressure of Sana pressed up against her back, breathing just a bit heavier.

This night wasn’t any different. But when Mina snapped awake, skin burning and very little comfortability in the pit of her stomach, her mind went back to her conversation earlier in the day.

You guys act like you’re all in love with each other.

Momo looks at you like you hung the stars.

You look at Sana like if she’s this spark you needed in your life.

I think, I just like making them smile.

There was no sunlight outside, but Mina could see the outline of her shaking hand as she lifted it up to stare at. All there was, was Mina, her shaking hands, and the images that kept popping up in the back of her eyelids if she kept her eyes closed for too long. She drew a long breath, inhaling slowly, exhaling even slower. Bringing a hand to squeeze her temples, wiping away the excess sweat.

Mina just wanted to take care of them, both of them. She just wanted to protect them from wandering eyes, from careless men and even terrible women. She wanted to make sure they always smiled, that they always laughed. She never wanted to imagine a life without them, Mina was clear on accepting they were going to be in her life for as long as they wanted to be.

Mina wanted both of them, forever. She wanted Sana to keep hugging her, she wanted Momo to keep holding her hand. She wanted to bury her face into both of their scents, their intoxicating perfumes. She wanted to wake up and see Momo in the kitchen, she wanted to come home and see Sana at the table. She wanted to feel how flushed their skin could get if she pushed her limits.

It felt like Mina had been dunked into water—ice, cold water than she longed for to clear her fuzzy mind. She shot up, a small gasp leaving her lips when she finally got it. Ignoring the creak of her bed springs, ignoring the way the room spun slightly. When the words popped up into her mind and everything strung together in a sort of understandable concept of an idea.

She wanted both of them. She loved both of them. Not one or the other, not one more than the other. Both of them, equally. Because…it was them. Sana and Momo. Momo and Sana. A package deal. Both of them, or neither.

Maybe Jihyo was onto something with her short, to-the-point statement. It bubbled up in the back of Mina’s throat.

“…Oh, damn,” Mina whispered out.

Chapter Text

April 15th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:38 PM

Sana agreed to have a study night with Nayeon. This was good, for a number of reasons. One, Momo liked that Sana had more friends to hang out with. A part of her always felt guilty that Sana felt the need to always be with her. Sana always assured her she just liked being with her, but Momo was far from a social butterfly.

It was also good, because Mina had been especially distracted lately. Momo didn’t know the specific reasons, but she could tell something was off. She could tell by the way Mina stared off, as if lost in her own thoughts. Sometimes, Momo felt like she could feel Mina’s eyes watching her when Mina thought Momo wasn’t paying attention. Then Momo had to remind herself not to be full of it, and maybe Mina was just zoning out and not specifically staring at her.

Mina was also spending a lot of time with Jihyo—whether downstairs after work or at night, laughing with Jihyo and helping her with her babies. Momo found it endearing, like right now, Jihyo and her were sitting in the living room, laughing at the movie that was playing. Mina was never one to be affectionate, but right now, she leaned against the armrest, letting Jihyo sit close enough their shoulders brushed. Throughout the course of the movie, Momo had seen the way Jihyo was slowly leaning closer and closer, until by the time the movie was three-quarters of the way done and Jihyo was resting her head on Mina’s shoulder. Unmoving, untense, they both looked a specific sort of comfort that made Momo smile.

Momo remained in her comfort spot, the kitchen. She was feeling a bit more exhausted, choosing to make army stew, it was a comfort food of hers. All good things, all comforts.

“Anyways—” Jihyo stood up, Mina following along, the movie finally finishing to the end credits, “I’m going to go help Jeongyeon-unnie. I know we need to bathe the babies.”

“Do you need help?” Mina offered.

“Nah,” Jihyo shook her head, “We’ve got this. We’re a good team.”

“Does Jeongyeon want stew later?” Momo offered, “I made extra.”

“Probably,” Jihyo considered, “I’m sure we’ll be by with Nayeon-unnie when she gets back, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mina agreed, looking to Momo, “If that’s okay with you?”

“The doors always open,” Momo repeated, smiling. Mina smiled back. Jihyo stared between them.

“…You guys are weird,” She rolled her eyes, “Anyway—bye Momo. Bye Mina-unnie. See you later.”

Momo doesn’t know what Mina did to earn unnie status with Jihyo, but it was cute to see. Mina seemed to wear it like a badge of honor, giving Jihyo a hug as she left, shutting the door behind her.

“She’s been clinging to you lately,” Momo pointed out, giving Mina a small smile, “When did that become a thing?”

“She listens well,” Mina shrugged, staring at the closed door, slowly making her way over to the kitchen, “And she’s opened up to me, too.”

“That’s good then, right?” Momo asked. “We like her, right?”

“…If anything happened to her, I’d have to kill somebody,” Mina said very calmly. This would be concerning to hear from anyone else. But it was Mina, and Momo had the slightest bit of an idea Mina was a lot more than she led on.

“She reminds me of you,” Mina slowly came to the kitchen, sitting on a stool, “In a way.”

“In what way?” Momo asked.

“Rough childhood kind of way,” Mina explained, “Kind of has a hard time expressing herself.”

“Do I have a hard time doing that?” Momo questioned.

“A bit,” Mina nodded, “You’re very quiet about it.”

“I don’t know,” Momo shrugged.

Mina remained silent again, only the sound of Momo’s portable radio playing, which she had set to a low volume as she had cut all the vegetables she needed. “Do we have anything to drink?” Mina suddenly got up from her seat, making a dash for the fridge.

“Bokbunja-ju,” Momo suggested, “I brought it from work.”

“Perfect,” Mina took out the red bottle, eyeing it curiously.

“You don’t want to wait until we eat?” Momo questioned, but Mina had already popped open the cap, taking a swig straight from the bottle.

“Whoa,” Momo laughed slightly, “Chill…its not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” Mina pulled the bottle away, wiping the bit of red wine that dripped down her chin, “I’m feeling a lot lately.”

“Feeling what?” Momo questioned curiously, grabbing a rag and taking Mina’s shoulder, holding her steady as she reached, wiping the bits of alcohol from her face.

Mina remained quiet, letting her eyes close momentarily at the affection. “Just…” Mina finally found her voice again, “I think I’m stressed.” She reached up, Momo felt Mina’s fingertips gently brush against her own, bringing Momo’s hand from her shoulder to her cheek.

Momo didn’t pull away, she simply watched—letting Mina melt for a moment. She watched as Mina pressed Momo’s fingers against her cheek for just a split moment, sighing.

“I can imagine,” Momo snorted, letting her thumb brush over Mina’s cheek before pulling away. “I never see you asleep.”

“I sleep well enough,” Mina argued, face already slightly flushed from what only Momo could assume was the alcohol, “But I think a night out would really do me good.”

“I think it would do Sana good, too,” Momo agreed, thinking to how stressed Sana seemed lately, tossing and turning on her sleeping mat and not getting enough sleep, “I think you guys need that. You’re both the kind of people who live off that energy.”

“What about you?” Mina asked, taking another swig from the bottle, “Aren’t you stressed?”

“…Maybe a little,” Momo admitted, “My boss is a bitch. A lot of culinary students are pretentious assholes, if you didn’t know.”

Mina laughed a bit, offering the bottle to Momo. Momo looked to it, seeing how Mina’s eyes twinkling from the alcohol already hitting her. Truly, a couple sips wouldn’t kill her.

She took the bottle, taking a long sip, tasting the sweet raspberry and hint of blackberry. It was a sweeter alcohol, one Momo could see herself enjoyed with savory foods. She could feel Mina staring to her, watching her carefully. Mina’s eyes seemed to watch a lot more carefully as of lately. Momo wasn’t sure if it was anything worth asking about, because she kind of enjoyed being stared at. Not that she’d tell her this out loud.

Mina wasn’t the best at handling her alcohol, Momo already knew this, because she was the youngest and even if Sana was the smallest, Sana had much more experience. So it didn’t surprise her to see Mina already beginning to flush, grinning proudly as Momo set the bottle down.

“Hell yeah,” Mina smiled, reaching over and turning up the music, even if it was just old jazz playing on the station.

“You’re already getting tipsy,” Momo laughed, watching Mina sway around to the music, “You took two chugs from the bottle.”

“Two big chugs,” Mina clarified, “Maybe even gulps. I’m a light weight, its not my fault.”

Momo watched Mina take the bottle again, taking another swig.

“Also this is really good,” Mina stared at the bottle, “This is just wine?”

“Sweetened wine,” Momo clarified, “Fermented from raspberries grown by the sea side to allow the sea salt to enhance the flavor. Works best with savory foods given its lack of tartness.”

Mina hummed, reading the bottle, “Man…its really attractive that you know things like that.” Tipsy Mina was always the ever braver one.

Momo blushed, “You think so?”

Mina nodded, giving Momo a small smile. “I didn’t know you liked jazz this much,” Mina pointed out, turning the radio up even more, “I mean—I hear you play it a lot when you’re in the kitchen…why is that?”

“Its calming,” Momo shrugged, “I like calming music when I’m cooking. I feel like its got a specific feeling—jazz and cooking make me feel the same way, but in different ways at the same time. Am I making sense?”

“Not really,” Mina answered honestly, laughing lightly as Momo blushed even further, “But its okay, because its you, Momoring.”

Mina continued to dance, beginning to sway her hips around, humming to beat to herself. “You’re buggin’ out a lot more than usual,” Momo pointed out, laughing slightly, leaning her elbow on the countertop, resting her chin in her palm as Mina continued to dance around, “Everything cool with you?”

“I actually have a lot on my mind,” Mina admitted, taking a deep breath, “I’m trying to distract myself.”

“Everything okay?” Momo repeated, tilting her head slightly, “You know you can talk to me about anything Minari.”

“Its trivial,” Mina shook her head, “I just want to be distracted for a bit, is all.” Momo could tell it wasn’t trivial. Momo considered herself an expert in Sana’s personal language, and intermediate skilled in Mina’s. She was still learning, but she figured she had the gist of it at least.

The song changed, an upbeat tune that Momo nodded along to, watching as Mina continued her movement, swaying her hips back and forth, moving her shoulders a bit, to the beat of the song. Momo watched her, watching Mina’s hair move on its own, black, sleek, and wavy from just stepping out of the shower. Wearing an oversized t-shirt, one of her bra straps exposed as the shirt slid down her shoulder, the muscles of her shoulder moving with her arms. She was wearing a pair of men’s plaid boxers, something Momo and Sana had figured she liked to wear for comfort.

Momo wasn’t exactly dressed nicely either—she wore a pair of green flannel pajama pants and one of Sana’s complimentary university t-shirts, it fit her a bit more tightly, but she liked to use it. It was a bit weird to admit, but Momo enjoyed things that smelled like comfort to her—she liked Sana and Mina’s shirts for loungewear. Neither batted an eye at it.

“…Dance with me,” Mina suddenly suggested, reaching out and taking Momo’s hand in her own, giving her a tug.

“I need to watch the food,” Momo chuckled lightly, protesting, even though she was already following Mina’s directions. She let herself be dragged to the open space in the kitchen, Mina held her hand, lightly dancing around.

“C’mon,” Mina urged, “A little loosening up didn’t hurt anyone. Besides…its not like you ever let the food burn.”

She used Momo’s arm to spin herself around, Momo watched Mina carefully, quietly. She would never really be able to say no to Mina, somewhere they both already knew this. Momo had too soft of a spot, and Mina liked using that to tease her. Its how they always worked, Momo would never just say no to Mina to her face, in her mind, for anything.

“Whatever,” Momo rolled her eyes, taking Mina’s other hand, beginning to dance around with Mina, who laughed. They began to sway around together, with no actual rhythm, making their own dance to a song where there was no synchrony. Their footwork was mismatched, Momo kept overstepping and nearly tripping Mina; Mina kept tripping over Momo’s feet. But still, Momo could feel her nose scrunch from laughter, she could see Mina’s gums from how hard she was grinning, she found Mina’s smile cute. Mina was just those things, cute and endearing, she was safe, she was trustworthy.

Momo’s head was spinning slightly.

The song changed, Momo could see the stew was just fine. The jazz had slowed down, moving to a gentle saxophone rhythm, a bit of piano, a bit of bass. Momo recognized the tune, she heard it so many times in her life. “You know what song this is?” Momo asked, Mina looked to her curiously. They had ceased their dancing, listening to the saxophone and piano, hands still clumsily holding one another.

“Nope,” Mina shook her head, looking up to Momo slightly, “Who is it?”

“Duke Ellington,” Momo smiled, “In a Sentimental Mood—it was composed and performed in 1935.”

“Oh,” Mina teased, “A jazz connoisseur—I didn’t know you knew this much about jazz.”

“Its surface level,” Momo rolled her eyes, “But I love it. I had a cassette tape…back in my old room.”

Mina didn’t push it, Momo hardly really talked about her childhood like that. She never even told Mina what color her walls were, all Mina now knew was somewhere on a shelf in Momo’s childhood room, there was a Duke Ellington cassette tape lost in there. But she could feel Mina’s eyes focusing into her, as if making sure she didn’t freak her out too much.

“Would you like to dance…?” Mina offered again, holding out her hand, palm up, waiting patiently.

“We just did,” Momo teased, smiling as she looked to Mina’s offer.

“But for real,” Mina insisted, “A real dance. Have you ever really danced with a guy?”

“I didn’t really,” Momo admitted, “Most guys were too embarrassed to really give it their all.”

“That’s not how it should have been,” Mina insisted, “Give me your hand. C’mon…let’s dance.”

Momo took Mina’s hand at her insistence, feeling as Mina guided her to hold the younger woman. “You trust me, right?” Mina simply questioned, not a hint of doubt but more to give Momo the leverage she longed for.

“Of course I do,” Momo’s response was automatic.

She set Momo’s hand to hold her shoulder, the other still in Mina’s hand. Mina’s hand slid down slightly, holding Momo by the waist carefully. Her eyes twinkled in curiosity.

Momo’s head continued to spin.

“Is this okay?” Mina asked, and Momo knew she was asking because Sana always asked her. Mina respected whatever boundary Momo had created, no questions asked.

“Yeah,” Momo said quietly, feeling Mina bring them in a bit closer together, beginning to guide Momo through a very simple set of footwork.

“This is dancing,” Mina smiled, “Easy, but still dancing regardless. The kind a man should be treating you to. He should always ask,” Mina was now explaining it to Momo, staring right to her eyes. “He always should ask, and offer his hand. He should wait for you to say yes. If you say yes, not because you feel like you have to, but because you want to, you take his hand, and he holds it firmly.”

“Like you,” Momo pointed out. Mina nodded.

“He holds your hand firmly, to let you know he’s leading. He’ll pull you a bit closer, and never let his hand go too low,” Mina directed, giving Momo’s waist a small squeeze, “Because he should never disrespect you like that. If he does—”

“I leave, I know,” Momo nodded.

“You slap him,” Mina finished her sentence. Momo snorted, shaking her head at Mina’s smile, beaming to have made Momo laugh.

“And you dance,” Mina smiled, as they danced along to the music, “And that’s all it should be. A simple dance.”

“So, you’re leading?” Momo questioned, “Is that why your hand is on my waist?”

“Yup,” Mina confirmed, “I’m guiding you on the dance floor. Try to find a man that can dance, will you?”

“So if I find someone who can dance like this,” Momo pointed out, “…What then?”

“Well…” Mina considered, eyes looking up to the ceiling for a moment, “You see if you like dancing with him. You see if he leads you well, you see if you trip over his feet because he doesn’t know how to guide.”

Momo watched Mina, as they both stared to their feet. They moved in sync, Mina’s footwork guiding Momo to glide right along, without missing a beat. Mina was a good leader, Momo felt comfortable following.

“And if they move well?” Momo asked quietly, “If I like how I dance with them?”

“Well,” Mina considered again, going a bit more quieter, “Then maybe you let him pull you closer.”

“…Like how?” Momo’s voice worked faster than her brain.

Mina guided Momo’s hand to her shoulder. Momo let herself drape her arms over Mina’s shoulders, she was sturdier than Momo remembered, still lithe, still small, but much sturdier.

Mina’s other hand slowly went down Momo’s side, now both her arms were wrapped around Momo’s waist. “And you let him pull you closer—like this,” Mina whispered, bringing Momo closer, till their bodies were pressed together, the distance little to none. Momo drew a breath, her heart starting to pound.

“And you sway,” Mina continued to guide Momo quietly, “Like this.”

And they swayed, to the slow rhythm of the music. It was dark outside, the moonlight leaking in through their balcony door. The only light that was on was the warm yellow light of the kitchen, the bulb probably needed to be changed at some point. Momo could feel the dampness of Mina’s shirt, her hair still dripping slightly, seeing the way her hair was starting to frizz from the movement. She was so close, she could make out the small pattern of moles Mina had across her features, from her nose to her lips, something Momo liked to admire from afar, and had never really seen close up. She could see that Mina’s eyelashes were long, her eyes were permanently twinkling like stars in the night sky, and Mina was maybe like the moon.

And it was calm, it felt…normal. Momo’s heart was pounding, but Mina was a good guide, better than Momo at least. She was confident enough that Momo wanted to follow her, following her footsteps as they danced around the small confinement of the kitchen, Momo’s ultimate comfort. She could feel the static in the back of her brain, but Momo felt so present in the moment, it wasn’t quite ready to reach her yet.

…Momo wondered how Sana would react if she saw this. She figured Sana would coo, maybe even get a bit teary eyed, because there was so much left unsaid that Momo didn’t like to say. So much only Sana knew merely because she had watched it unfold with her very own eyes. So much Mina didn’t know. So much that Momo never wanted to say in fear it would change everything around her, the one thing Momo hated. Change.

Momo felt a bit guilty.

It was the slightest movement, that made Momo crack. Maybe because the urge to talk was already starting to grow more tempting, with the alcohol, the intimacy, and the person; Momo could feel her brain beginning to get more stuck. But what really broke it, was the way Momo felt Mina’s thumb twitch slightly, brushing against her skin, because Sana’s t-shirt was a bit too tight.

“…I need to tell you something,” Momo blurted out, looking down to the way they moved.

Mina slowed their rhythm, down to a small sway, looking up to Momo with a specific curiosity. “Everything okay?” She questioned, “Should I stop?”

“No,” Momo squeezed her eyes shut, “If you stop, I-I might lose my nerve.”

“Okay,” Mina reassured her, keeping their slow sway, still so close Momo could smell lemon and sweet vanilla, maybe even the touch of sandalwood, “I won’t stop. You don’t stop, either.”

“I just—” Momo could already feel the anxiety taking over her, but she pulled her focus on following Mina’s rhythm, “I know I don’t talk about my childhood a lot.”

“Yes,” Mina nodded.

“There’s a reason,” Momo felt like her voice wasn’t really her own, “Uhm, there’s a lot of things I didn’t understand I think, for a really long time.”

“That’s okay,” Mina reassured her, “You were young.”

“…Only Sana really knows,” Momo continued, “Well, her and her parents. Because she was there for it all. And I owe so much to her—she really saved me when I could have done a lot more darker things to myself. I-I think at some point, she kind of became my only reason for wanting to be alive. She was there when it was happening, when I was coming to terms with it. She’s really good at pattern recognition, did you know that? Probably…you’re both so intelligent. And Sana was careful with it, but did you know you’re the very first person I’m actually telling this to? Sana…Sana was there with me. She’s like love to me, I think. She’s been everything to me, but Mina—I feel like you’re going to be in my life, and Sana’s life, for a super long time. For as long as you want, really. And at some point, I think you also became a reason I wanted to keep pushing on my life. For my dreams.”

“And I feel bad for holding back on you,” Momo pushed herself, “You deserve to know.”

“I don’t have to know anything you don’t want me to know,” Mina reassured her, “I love being in you guys’ lives to any degree.”

“But I want you to know,” Momo persisted, “I want you to know because…well…I don’t want to keep hiding things from you anymore.”

Mina’s expression changed, from curiosity to concern, lips pursing and eyebrows furrowing up. “What happened, Momoring?”

“Well,” Momo could feel the anxiety getting the better of her, constricting her breathing. “Well—like…well—”

“Hey,” Mina tightened her grip slightly, “Hey, remember—follow my lead, okay? Footwork, eye contact, and breathing.”

Mina took a deep breath, deep enough for Momo to follow. “You follow my lead,” Mina repeated, “I got you, okay?”

Momo nodded, taking another breath, shaky and unsteady. She opened her mouth, well, she could feel it open, but nothing came out, just shaky breathing and the start of sounds with no end.

“You know…” Mina gently spoke, her voice sounding like it matched the tune of the music, “Jihyo talked to me a bit. She told me a lot about herself, she told me something that certainly changed the way I look at her. But in a way that makes me see her as stronger.”

“…Stronger?” Momo questioned. Mina hummed.

“She told me a bit about her childhood,” Mina continued to explain, “She told me things no one should have ever had to go through, basically only living to survive. She told me things I never had experienced, I won’t say the specifics, its not my place. But I learned she never has had her first kiss. And I know its a bit odd, having sex without having her first kiss. But its because she decided, of all the things she had the power to take back, that was the one she saw most fit.”

Momo blinked a few times, taking in the weighty words Mina had just spoke. Jihyo—survival, childhood—Momo was seeing spots.

“I don’t know if I’m straight—” Momo suddenly blurted out, Mina continued to keep them dancing, just as she had promised. Because she was a wonderful lead, “I don’t know if I am…but I’ve never been able to find it in myself to explore.”

“How come?” Mina asked gently, her voice was also like honey, on screen and off screen, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to exploring, Momoring.”

“Its not that,” Momo shook her head, “I can’t explore, or at least, I can’t bring myself to.”

“Why can’t you?” Mina urged her softly, like her voice was now guiding Momo to get to her point, “Why can’t you bring yourself to? Sana is bisexual, she’d be understanding. I’m gay, there’s no judgement here.”

“There’s judgement from me,” Momo whispered, “From me, to me.”

“Judgement on yourself?” Mina questioned, “…Why?”

“Because,” Momo’s heart felt as if it might collapse under all the stress, body growing numb, “Did you know my mom died? I think I briefed over that at some point.”

“You did,” Mina’s voice was quiet and steady, never cracking, “She passed at childbirth. So it was just you and your dad. And your aunt stepped in a lot.”

Aunt. Momo twitched. “Yeah,” Her own voice cracked, shaky and the utter opposite of Mina’s presence, “There was someone in my life who did something she shouldn’t have.”

The pronouns were very important, Momo emphasized as best as she could, Mina remained quiet, silently urging Momo to go on, “There was a woman…a woman who was supposed to take care of me…who…who did…who did…things…that no adult should do…to a kid.”

“…Like what?” Mina’s voice sounded grim, like she was already thinking and piecing together the puzzle, because Mina had immaculate pattern recognition.

“Like…” Momo trailed off, blinking her eyes as hard as she could, trying to remember what it felt like to breathe, “…Like…like t-t—”

“Touching?” Mina’s voice was tight, “Momo…”

“I was a kid—” Momo insisted, feeling dread wash over her body, “I-I was a kid. I didn’t know—I couldn’t have known—”

“I never said—”

“Don’t hate me,” Momo pleaded, losing herself into her emotions, feeling her eyes water, “Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Mina stayed steady, voice everything Momo needed right now, reassuring and gentle.

“I didn’t know,” Momo repeated, feeling everything all over again, as if she was still 12 years old and barely starting to have a name for the actions, “I felt disgusting every single time. But in the moment—”

Mina whispered, “There’s no judgement Momo. You know I love you, right?”

Momo held her breath, squeezing her eyes shut again. Sana had all the proper words in the entire dictionary, she had so many words in so many languages Momo could never understand. Learning Korean was already a challenge enough, Momo couldn’t comprehend how Sana knew everything. She knew so much, so much about psychology—she could identify patterns Momo presented before Momo even opened up to her about it. Why Momo found comfort in Sana’s home and not her own.

“Its sick,” Momo spat, “That’s what it is, its fucking sick. Its sick someone could do this to a child, to a kid who was just trying to understand what was happening growing up. It-Its sick that I couldn’t help but have the reactions I did, I look at myself and feel fucking disgusted half the time.”

Mina did not respond, she simply held Momo, letting her gather her thoughts and stop her mind from racing too far, because Mina was an excellent guide.

“And then, and then Sana’s parents—they did what they thought they needed to do,” Momo continued, now that words were spilling out she couldn’t stop them to save her life. Because she always let everything out all at once, in one go, “Bless them. They told him—my dad. And he was furious…but not in the way you’d think. He kicked her out, I-I thought it was over. But he…he was so angry, because its wrong, in his eyes. Two women. Its like he wanted to try to take his anger out—except the only target was me.”

“So now, he was angry, all the time. He looked at me, absolutely no love in his eyes, because I look so fucking much like her—” Momo was gasping, because everything wasn’t just recalling, it was reexperiencing, “And everything I did was wrong. Bad grades, bad attitude. Any reason to hurt me, he-he had this belt—” Momo finally managed out, feeling the tears hot and heavy, streaming down her face, feeling the sob crawl from the back of her throat. Momo hated crying, it never really sounded like her, it sounded a lot more scared. A lot more vulnerable, a lot more childish.

“Why would he want to do that?” Momo questioned, but she wasn’t sure if she was actually looking for an answer, “Why would he want to hurt me?”

“Momo—” Mina whispered out, this time, Mina couldn’t continue their dance, not that Momo wanted to, truly. She was stumbling, beginning to get out of sync with Mina’s presence, her knees wanting to buckle. Instead, Mina pulled Momo in, hugging her with as much force as she could manage, as Momo rested her chin onto Mina’s shoulder, using her free hand to cover her mouth, trying to stifle her sob. Momo absolutely hated crying.

“I didn’t…I didn’t ask for any of that—” Momo continued her ramblings, skin crawling at her admittance, “Why the fuck would I? Why would he—I’m disgusting—”

“You’re not disgusting,” Mina insisted, voice firm, “You were taken advantage of, Momo. By someone who should have protected you from these things, not been the perpetrator of them.”

“But what did I have to do to deserve it?” Momo pleaded, through her fingers, voice cracking and weak. Momo felt like she was 10 again, sobbing in her room because she was hurting, everything hurt. Her brain, her head, her muscles, her body.

“Nothing,” Mina protested, “You didn’t do anything Momo. She was a monster.”

“That’s my family, though—” Momo wanted to scream, her voice tight, “I’m supposed to love them. I’m supposed to support them.”

“Not when they hurt you,” Mina whispered, “Momo, you had every right to leave that place the first chance you got. You had every right to be with Sana as often as you could, to protect yourself from those awful things.”

“I don’t—I can’t—” Momo felt herself struggling to form proper words, covering her face with her hand, before feeling Mina hug her even tighter, and Momo buried her face into Mina’s damp hair, smelling lemon sugar and all its comforts. Smelling Sana’s faint smell of tobacco and cherries and raspberries clinging onto her t-shirt.

“This doesn’t change anything, Momoring,” Mina gently explained, keeping her hug firm and tight, “Absolutely nothing Momo. Sana will always love you. I love you, still, okay? This wouldn’t have changed anything. When I said I loved you two in my life—I meant it. I knew it that first night I stayed at your apartment, when you said you wanted to be a chef. How your eyes shined, how Sana looked at you with such pride, how you talked about how it had become your strength to keep on going.”

“That’s who I love, Momo,” Mina pulled away carefully, bringing her hands to hold Momo’s shoulders, “I love you, just you. Not what happened to you—you are far more than that. You are so much more, you’re Momo, you’re Sana’s Momo, you’re my Momo, you’re you. And that’s all that has ever mattered to me.”

Momo didn’t stop her sobbing this time around, but she did try to keep it as quiet as possible. It physically hurt, straining herself to keep it down. But Momo managed, bringing her hands to cover her face, feeling her shoulders shake as Mina held onto them with as much tenderness as she could muster.

“Even when you cry, you’re so beautiful,” Mina said, bringing her hands to cup Momo’s face, as Momo looked to her. She felt Mina’s thumbs brush beneath her cheeks, right under her eyes, wiping away the tears, looking up to Momo affectionately.

Even in her distress, Momo managed out a breathy laugh.

“Shut up,” Momo hiccupped out, Mina smiled, it looked a bit strained, but Momo appreciated the effort nonetheless. And she appreciated that Mina knew how to read between the lines, taking Momo’s words into consideration.

“Momoring is so pretty,” Mina sang out, laughing lightly, trying to keep her own tears at bay, still cupping Momo’s face, “Do you want me to do anything right now? Anything to help?”

“I think,” Momo sniffled, “I think I-I just want to check on my stew.”

“Check on the stew?” Mina asked quietly, looking up to Momo with the same eyes that made Momo think of the stars, “Is that what you want?”

“I-I just want to check on it,” Momo pleaded quietly, while her tears slowed down, desperate for some sort of control, “Please.”

“Okay,” Mina agreed, wiping away more of Momo’s tears, “Okay, we can do that then. Let’s go check on the food. Everyone will probably be here soon…go check on the food.”

“I just…I can’t let it burn,” Momo didn’t want to pull away, but she did, feeling Mina’s calming presence somewhere behind her, as she turned down the heat for the stew, “I never let it burn.”

“I know,” Mina agreed quietly, standing right beside Momo, till their shoulders touched, “You never let it burn, Momoring.”

April 15th, 1995. Approximate time, 9:46 PM

How Mina managed to keep it together, was beyond her. Maybe she was a lot better at keeping herself in check than she thought. Nayeon and Sana came not much later after Mina helped Momo look presentable. Full of gentle touches and lots of reassurance, helping Momo wash her face, applying an ice roller to calm her puffiness. And something had shifted, because Momo was clinging to her much more freely, tugging her wrist, holding her hand, squeezing it in a need for reassurance.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo with her babies came by not much later. Mina really didn’t want to leave Momo’s side, it felt as if Momo had the same sentiment, keeping their arms linked for the majority of the night. If not Mina, Momo was right by Sana, hugging her, holding her hand. As if she was craving affection and presence, trying to keep herself in control. Jihyo had taken notice, amidst their conversation, she caught Mina alone.

“You talked to her,” Was all she really pointed out, as if she knew not to push it any further, “How are you feeling?”

Maybe Mina needed to give Jihyo more credit. She was becoming a person Mina found herself wanting to trust. But at the end of the day, Mina was very aware of Jihyo’s experiences, careful to not throw any more sort of stress in Jihyo’s life. The kid deserved a break, she deserved as easy as a life as she could get.

“I think I need a moment to sort it out,” Mina decided on, “She told me something heavy.”

Jihyo’s eyes wavered with knowing. “Take it easy,” She patted Mina’s back gently, and Mina really was starting to appreciate Jihyo.

Jihyo left with her babies first, Taehyun was exhausted and Yunjin was ready for a nap. Mina knew Momo was exhausted, leaning onto Sana, exhaustion written all over. Sana had also quietly taken notice, and while things were a bit strange between her and Sana, Mina knew their bond was much stronger than it. She knew Sana would look to her to fill in the blanks of an answer, a questioning expression as she stared at Momo, whose eyes were beginning to close as she leaned on Sana’s shoulder.

“I think we’re also going to turn in,” Sana nudged Momo back awake, who jumped slightly, yawning. Sana laughed slightly, still a bit confused, but watching affectionately to Momo, “Right Momoring?”

“Sure,” Momo yawned again, standing up, letting Sana guide her, “G’night. See you guys later.”

“See you later,” Sana also repeated the sentiment, going into their shared bedroom and shutting the door.

“She looked beat,” Jeongyeon pointed out, checking her watch, “Everything okay with her?”

“Just work,” Mina shook her head, “I think the stress is getting to all of us.”

“I get it,” Nayeon groaned, leaning into Jeongyeon’s shoulder, both of them sitting next to Mina on the sofa, “School has been a real bitch too. I’m glad I have Sana to complain to.”

Jeongyeon checked her watch, standing up, “Anyway,” She ran a hand through her hair, “We don’t want to overstay. You should get some sleep too.”

“Oh yes,” Nayeon agreed, Mina watched the both of them stand up and adjust themselves, Nayeon stifled a yawn, “Surely we don’t want you to miss your 5 AM weather report.”

“Thanks for having us,” Jeongyeon gave her a wave, as they made their way to the front door. A part of Mina’s brain suddenly urged her to stop them. But she didn’t, because Mina wasn’t the best at that, looking to others for help like that. Instead, she gave a tight smile, waving them off, as the door shut.

April 15th, 1995. Approximate time, 10:11 PM

“Ah, crap,” Nayeon sighed, Jihyo was laying on the floor, babies asleep around her.

“What?” Jihyo stifled a yawn, laughing slightly to see Jeongyeon already half asleep on the recliner. It didn’t seem like she was going to make it to her actual bed, but Jihyo never really cared. She loved her presence, both of theirs. It was something Jihyo never once took for granted, even if she acted annoying about it.

“I forgot my backpack downstairs,” Nayeon sighed, running a hand through her hair.

Even in Jeongyeon’s half-asleep state, she sat up. Just in the same way Jihyo did.

“I can get it for you.”

Nayeon held in her laugh, looking between the two with nothing short of affection, “Easy there,” She joked, “Its just one book bag.”

“And getting it is a two person job,” Jeongyeon retorted, already standing up, “Right Ji?”

“With how fucking heavy your textbooks are—” Jihyo snarked but was already standing up, careful to not wake her babies, “We might need a whole army.”

Jeongyeon grinned, eyes a bit puffy from sleepiness. “I can just get it myself,” Nayeon argued but she was already planting herself down on the ground with the babies, already accepting she’d never be able to anything for herself ever again. Jihyo also knew Nayeon sort of liked it that way, Jihyo thought she deserved it.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo walked side by side, down the hall, to the doors that led to the stairs. A familiar route, it felt strange to think how much could change within a year, Jihyo mused. She wondered what the next year would bring.

A difference in her routine would be the way she could hear a sound, muffled, at the bottom of the stairs. Jeongyeon held her arm out in front of Jihyo protectively, eyes wide in alert. They exchanged a glance, Jihyo’s mind racing at the possibilities.

Another noise came, it wasn’t threatening. In fact, it sounded entirely broken.

Something about the figure looked familiar. Jihyo squinted, wondering if she’d need glasses.

“…Mina?” Jeongyeon beat her to the realization, shutting the door behind her and making her way down the stairs. “Mina, is that you?”

Who Jihyo figured was Mina made no response, at least with her words. Halfway down the stairs and Jihyo could see the way her body stiffened, freezing slightly to hear recognizable voices. She could see the way Mina sat up straighter, bringing her hands to her face and wiping vigorously.

Mina was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, when Jeongyeon and Jihyo realized she had been crying. Profusely.

“…Mina?” Jihyo could hear a worry in her tone, enough so it threw her off. Mina looked completely different than how Jihyo often saw her. Her hair pulled up in a clip, a bit tangled and frizzed. Her eyes a bit puffy, shining with fresh tears welling up. Her cheeks and nose a bit red, not of embarrassment but of emotion, the same way Nayeon’s nose got when she cried too hard at sensitive things. She was wearing no makeup, but Jihyo still found her to be scarily pretty, even in this environment. She wasn’t even wearing shoes, barefoot as she kept her arms crossed, curling into herself.

Mina flinched to hear Jihyo.

“Mina,” Jeongyeon repeated, swooping in where Jihyo felt like she might have lacked. She wasn’t exactly used to heavy emotions from others. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were pretty good at keeping themselves in check, Jihyo could only remember the hospital as the worst emotion she had seen from them.

“Hey—” Jeongyeon knelt in front of Mina, carefully reaching out, taking Mina’s hand into her own, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I—” Mina tried again but nothing was coming out. She looked much more frail this way, Jihyo watched her quietly, feeling her chest twist in worry. It was weird seeing Mina like this, floundering and tender. Jihyo wasn’t good at that stuff—being emotional with someone who wasn’t Nayeon and Jeongyeon. She couldn’t even find it in herself to be too sweet to San without feeling awkward.

“Take a deep breath,” Jeongyeon was guiding her, “Its okay. I get anxiety too, sometimes. Just follow my lead—in and out, in and out.”

Mina gasped in, shaky and uneven, shoulders twitching. But Jeongyeon only nodded approvingly, “There you go,” She nodded, “Now let it out.”

Mina sobbed. It was so uncharacteristic, Mina looked so different. Jihyo’s mind wasn’t panicking, she wasn’t uncomfortable. But she was…at a loss? Unsure how to go about this? But she remembered how steady Mina had been that day, just a few days ago. How she sat and listened quietly, to one of the worst things Jihyo had the displeasure of experiencing. How she held Jihyo’s hand. Jihyo remembered how Nayeon and Jeongyeon looked that very next morning on the day she told them. Emotionally wrecked, stretched thin, worn out, and exhausted. But they still got up, and held her. They still told her they loved her. They remained.

Jihyo wondered if it was the same for Mina. If Mina could be strong for her when Jihyo needed it—well, it only seemed fair for Jihyo to be the same for her, right?

“Unnie—” Jihyo found her voice, seating herself right beside Mina, their shoulders pressed against one another.

Mina didn’t look immediately, hair obscuring a good portion of her face, refusing to look up.

“Unnie,” Jihyo repeated, a bit firmer, this time, she reached over, taking Mina’s other hand. Jeongyeon didn’t say anything just yet, lips pursed as she watched the situation unfold. “Its okay, unnie,” Jihyo continued, giving Mina’s hand a squeeze, “You were right, you know? I get you don’t want to show me the bad stuff. But you were right…I already know how the world is. I learned a long ass time ago.”

Mina’s body was tense, Jeongyeon was using her free had to rub Mina’s shoulder reassuringly.

“So you don’t have to hide anything from me,” Jihyo urged, “You want to help me? Show me how to handle it.”

Mina sobbed.

“I-I don’t—” Mina finally managed out, squeezing both Jihyo and Jeongyeon’s hands with a surprising grip.

“Take your time,” Jeongyeon eased out.

“How do you—” Mina tried. Jihyo didn’t even realize she had started crying until she felt the tear trinkle down her cheek, “How did you—?” Mina’s voice cracked.

“Its okay,” Jeongyeon’s voice was quiet, “Just let it out Mina, we’re here. Its okay.”

Mina inhaled, her breathing shaky, Jihyo felt her body grow rigid, “How—how do you deal with this?” She forced herself to ask. “H-hearing…handling…experiencing—”

Jeongyeon’s eyes suddenly sparked up with recognition. Jihyo wondered if she could simply tell by the state of Mina. Is this how they were, that night? Wrecked and unable to hold it in? To the point it just came pouring out whether they wanted it to or not?

“I told her,” Jihyo suddenly admitted, but surprisingly, she felt very little guilt, maybe even none at all, “About…about me.”

“Ah,” Jeongyeon seemed to understand, “You don’t,” Jeongyeon chuckled but there was little humor behind it, “You don’t deal with it.”

“Its hard,” Jihyo whispered, still holding Mina tightly.

“I think the night Jihyo told me what she went through, I cracked. I broke down, I cried for hours. I held Nayeon when she needed me to, Nayeon held me, I was lucky someone was there with me.”

“I felt numb,” Jeongyeon admitted, “Like even now, I can’t fully wrap my head around it. I look at Jihyo—and I’m still a bit shocked. I mean, she’s only 17.”

Jeongyeon looked to Jihyo, eyes now beginning to twinkle. Jihyo’s heart picked up, beginning to pound not of nerves but of overwhelming feelings of love. Because even now, Jihyo could feel it in Jeongyeon’s eyes. Her eyes were always like that, outpouring her love.

“You’re just a kid—” Mina choked out, sniffling hard to keep herself calm, “How could someone do that to someone so young?” Jihyo wasn’t sure who she was referring to at this point—Momo, herself, it all jumbled together. Mina’s emotions were at an all-time high, feeling the way it squeezed her very soul. Like her heart was shattering and her brain was zoning out, unable and refusing to process it.

“I don’t know,” Jeongyeon sounded almost pained to not have an answer, rubbing Mina’s back, soothing her as best as she could, “I really wish I knew. But I don’t—and I’ll always feel guilty for it. But Mina, its okay to let it out.”

“What are you feeling?” Jeongyeon asked her carefully, looking to Mina with her piercing eyes but her gaze was so compassionate.

“I-I feel fucking pissed,” Mina bitterly laughed, wiping away at her tears as best as she could, “I feel like my skin is on fire. I feel like my head is spinning. I want to…I want to comfort her but I also feel like I might destroy the next thing I touch, I-I can’t even think straight—”

“I get it,” Jeongyeon hushed her, pulling away to ensure their eyes locked, “It helped I had someone to keep me grounded. Have you talked to Momo or Sana about it?”

Mina didn’t respond. She only stared back, feeling like her heart was twisting as Jeongyeon’s eyes seemed to carry her emotions. From concern, to confusion, to realization, utter dreaded realization. They shifted over to Jihyo, trying to complete the puzzle.

“Someone else told her something too,” Jihyo completed it, “I…I don’t think she can talk to them about it.”

“Oh,” Jeongyeon said quietly, eyes widening the slightest bit, “Oh. Okay. I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” Mina breathed out, turning to Jihyo, “I don’t—”

“You’re so cool,” Jihyo blurted out once more, “I swear unnie.”

“I’m a wreck,” Mina pleaded, but the smile was hard to miss.

“Even now,” Jihyo insisted, “You’re so cool. Because you’re being honest. You’re showing me how to go about this. I have a hard time grasping that someone can care—”

“Jihyo—” Mina stuttered out, turning to face her fully. Jihyo thought she looked younger this way, but really, she was closer to 21 than she realized. Maybe she’d still feel like a kid at Mina’s age too.

“Its okay unnie,” Jihyo repeated, wiping away her own tears, “You’re crying because you care. You care about me, you care about the other person, too, right? And it probably hurt her, a lot to tell you. But you know what else?”

Jeongyeon watched the two quietly.

“...I bet she feels free,” Jihyo whispered, with as much truth as she could muster, “I bet she’s going to sleep dreamless tonight. Because I know I did. And it was some of the best sleep I’d ever had.”

“You guys need sleep too,” Mina’s voice cracked. Then she did a very unexpected thing, at least, Jihyo wasn’t expecting it. Mina threw her arms around Jihyo, burying her face into Jihyo’s shoulder, hugging her close.

“Whoa—” Jihyo chuckled out, feeling her cheeks burn, it was crazy the light could even burn her even at night, “Its okay Mina.”

“Ah,” Jeongyeon shrugged, wrapping an arm around Mina’s shoulders, holding her close, “I’ll sleep when I die. That’s what I say. I think there’s far more important things to put my focus onto. Even if it means losing sleep.”

“I’m sorry—"

“You need someone right now Mina,” Jeongyeon added, “We found you. Neither of us are going to leave you right now, whether you like it or not.”

Jihyo was starting to understand why she was becoming the way she was. Very headstrong and determined. She understood why Nayeon and Jeongyeon felt like parents, because right now, Jeongyeon kind of really felt like it. Because Jeongyeon looked so calm right now, holding Mina with a firm but gentle grip, as Mina clung onto Jihyo’s t-shirt. Jihyo could feel the way it was soaking through the material slightly. Jihyo had never been the one to calm someone down—but maybe it was about time she learned how. She watched how Jeongyeon was, calm and steady. Slowly, she brought her hands up, gently hugging Mina back. It was weird, being kind to someone who wasn’t Nayeon or Jeongyeon. But it was Mina—and if she was going to learn for anyone, it’d be for her. And even if Mina was 21, Jeongyeon was 26, she probably saw Mina and saw her closer to Jihyo’s age than she ever would see her close to her age.

“Its okay to be upset,” Jeongyeon reassured her, “Its okay to be really fucking angry now too. You just need to let it out Mina. Don’t hold it back, you’re going to hurt yourself that way. Of course, I know learning about these fucking awful things makes you want to commit acts of violence. But that’s not what they need—that’s not what Jihyo needed, that’s probably not what the person who told you needs either.”

“They need love,” Jeongyeon whispered out, when Mina pulled away from hugging Jihyo to face her, “They need kindness and patience. Whether their experience happened to them a year ago, three years ago, even fucking ten years ago, every time they speak of it, they’re reopening the wound all over again.”

“To them,” Jeongyeon added, “Its fresh. You listen, you really listen to them. You let them be angry, be devastated, be vulnerable. And you hold them if they ask, and you listen. And when its said and done, that’s when you help yourself.”

“How?” Mina asked.

“By doing this,” Jeongyeon motioned between them, “You find people you can trust. And you let it out. You don’t even have to tell us what the hell is happening, you just come find us.”

“We won’t push,” Jeongyeon assured, “We won’t try to pry it out of you. But we’re here, when you need us Mina. We can promise you that well enough.”

Jihyo wondered what kind of person she was going to be when she grew up. She liked to think she’d be a bit like Jeongyeon. Steady, calm, and reassuring. It was like her presence was enough to calm Mina down enough to breathe normally.

“Thank you,” Mina whispered, pulling Jeongyeon into a hug, burying her nose into her hair, Jihyo wondered if Mina could also smell Jeongyeon’s eucalyptus she also liked to use. Jihyo wondered if her and Jeongyeon smelled the same. “I’m sorry for dragging you guys into this.”

“Hey, none of that now,” Jeongyeon snorted, Jihyo could feel the way Mina wrapped an arm around her again, and Jihyo held her right back. Because maybe Mina needed that, to be wrapped in a wall of security, “No apologies or dumb shit like that. You needed this.”

“I…I did,” Mina admitted quietly, resting her head against Jihyo’s shoulder just like Jihyo liked to do to her. Jihyo straightened up, wanting Mina to feel just as secure as Jihyo did when she did it.

“Jihyo,” Jeongyeon suddenly called out, when Mina’s eyes closed for a bit, as she took steady breaths.

“Yeah…?”

“…I’m proud of you,” Jeongyeon stated. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Just another simple statement as if she was telling her the night sky was dark.

Jihyo, despite the swirling heaviness, couldn’t help but smile.

“Its Mina-unnie,” She insisted, “If I was going to want to help anyone, it’d be her. Every time.”

“...Thank you,” Mina said quietly. Jihyo figured maybe she needed to distract herself just a bit.

“Wanna know something even cooler?”

“…What?”

“The guy Jeongyeon-unnie knocked out…it was my step-dad.”

Mina’s eyes widened. Jaw dropping slightly, looking to Jeongyeon. Jeongyeon only gave a sheepish grin.

“You’re…so cool,” Mina decided on.

Just like you, Jihyo thought to herself.

Chapter Text

April 23rd, 1995. Approximate time, 5:13 AM

For a while after everything unfolded, Momo seemed…weightless. Or at least, it looked as if a weight had certainly been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled more, Sana knew exactly why. Momo could never keep something like that away from her. She held Momo, as Momo faced her in the dark of their bedroom, tears still falling down her face, onto her pillow, admitting to Sana she had finally done it. Finally had ripped off the bandage she had been slowly prickling at for so long.

And Sana was so proud. She wondered if Momo could feel the tears that had welled up in her own eyes, as she pulled Momo into a hug in the middle of their room, holding her tight. Sana also felt a knot loosen in the center of her chest—she trusted Mina. She trusted Mina with her life, and she didn’t have a drop of doubt that Mina would assure Momo it would be okay. But that didn’t mean she could stop the worries from creeping up on Momo, who had been dancing around it for years.

So everything felt almost the same, but just a bit different. A bit lighter, Sana watched Momo become just a tad bit more open, holding her hand out quietly without saying a word, and either Sana or Mina would just hold it. Momo was becoming a bit more clingy, she would wrap her arms around Sana while she worked, sitting behind her bored while Sana was zoned in. But absolutely refusing to leave.

She saw the way Mina watched Momo, eyes full of affection and such a tenderness.

And then it changed again, just slightly.

It happened in the morning, Sana had woken up extra early. She wasn’t sure why, Sana loved her sleep more than anything in this world, no one wanted to see her if she didn’t get at least a couple uninterrupted hours. But here Sana was, sitting up, feeling unusually alert, seeing her alarm clock read “5:13 AM.” Sana groaned, a part of her wanting to just flop back down and trying to get a bit more.

But she was alert, she could feel the way her blood was pulsing beneath her fingertips, unusually energetic. Sana caved, getting up, seeing Momo’s mat already made and put away, deciding maybe seeing Momo for a few extra minutes in the morning wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

She opened the door, seeing that the television was already running, right on Mina’s news channel, which felt pretty standard. Sana let her eyes adjust for a moment, wrapping her blanket around her a little tighter, shivering slightly.

She saw Momo, sitting on the stool, hair pulled up into a bun. Her bangs were sticking up, she hadn’t quite gotten them settled yet. She was in her work slacks, wearing a simple black tank. Sana could see Momo’s arms, firm and defined. Momo turned, holding a small cup of coffee, eyes widening slightly to see Sana standing there.

“…Sana?” Momo questioned, setting her cup down, getting up with a slight screech of the stool, “What are you doing up right now?”

“I have no clue,” Sana yawned out, running a hand through her bedhead, “I just woke up. I don’t think I can fall back asleep, even if I wanted to.”

“Its going to snow,” Momo teased, making her way back into the kitchen.

“Its April,” Sana rolled her eyes, taking a seat on the stool Momo had just gotten up from, “I doubt its going to snow any time soon.”

“Want a smoothie?” Momo was asking, but Sana could see how she was already bustling around, gathering ingredients that Sana usually preferred in her smoothies. She knew Momo would make her one regardless, because she’d insist Sana needed something in her system before getting ready for the day, she’d probably also give Sana a simple bowl of rice on the side.

“You’re already making it,” Sana teased, “I haven’t even agreed to it.”

Momo gave a smile, the kind that made her nose scrunch in a very endearing way, already cutting the leaves from some strawberries, letting each one fall into the blender. “Sorry, let me rephrase,” Momo corrected, “I’m making you a smoothie.”

“Uh-huh,” Sana laughed out, watching Momo take a handful of frozen raspberries, throwing them in as well. Followed by a hearty scoop of vanilla yogurt that Sana was quite obsessed with.

“Busy day today?” Momo asked, Sana watched her continue to move, arm muscles twitching and flexing at random, something Sana realized she couldn’t tear her eyes away from.

“A bit,” Sana nodded quietly, “I have labs today, those are a pain.”

“Hmm yes,” Momo nodded, “I’m going to pretend I know what you mean by a lab.”

“Its honestly not even worth explaining,” Sana rolled her eyes, letting her cheek rest on the cold countertop, “Its fucking stupid, I’ll be honest with you.”

She heard the blender start, whirring loudly as Sana’s head pulsated to the rhythm of it, shutting her eyes for a moment.

“What about you?” Sana asked when the blender stopped, chin resting on the countertop still, looking up to Momo as Momo grabbed a glass and poured out the concoction.

“Mm,” Momo hummed, “Probably just going to be another usual day. I get there, we get yelled at. I make a lot of food and half of them are going to be deemed failures and thrown out right in my face.”

“Here—” Momo turned and looked down to Sana. Sana could see the way her lips were curling, her nose scrunching until her eyes nearly shut closed.

“What?” Sana questioned.

“…You look cute like that,” Momo simply stated, “From this angle, you look cute.”

Momo complimenting her was normal, but her boldness made Sana sit up, feeling the blush as Momo handed her the glass. “I-I wasn’t even trying,” Sana took the glass, “I must really be cute then.”

“You are,” Momo agreed, and sure enough, Sana watched her slide a small bowl of rice her way, just as Sana expected, “Eat.”

Sana complied, watching Momo wash her hands, getting a full look of Momo’s back. Strong and defined, her muscles dancing around as she scrubbed her hands thoroughly, she was a sucker for proper handwashing procedures. Sana figured it must have gotten drilled in her head since she started her apprenticeships.

She watched as Momo’s tank top began to ride up a little bit, seeing the curve of Momo’s waist, before snapping her gaze away. Her rice was looking very white this morning, it appeared.

In her peripherals, Sana could see Momo drying her hands, hanging the towel back up on the oven handle, slowly pulling the tank to adjust. “Well…it was nice to see you before I headed out,” Momo smiled, and Sana felt it was appropriate enough to look to her, even if her thoughts were dancing a bit.

“It was,” Sana agreed, “Even though all I did was complain.”

“Eh—” Momo shrugged, leaning on the counter, “I could listen to you talk all day without getting bored. Even if it was about stuff I have no idea about…which is a lot of things.”

Sana’s ears burned, she was glad her hair was down and kind of in her face, it was like she was on hyperalert. “You know a lot more than you think,” Sana protested, “Don’t discredit yourself Momoring.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Momo rolled her eyes, making her way around, leaning her back against the counter, right next to Sana, grabbing her small cup of way too sweet coffee, Sana’s teeth just hurt thinking about it.

And it was peacefully silent for a moment, Sana eating the rice even if she wasn’t feeling hungry, because her body was bad with hunger cues and Momo would gripe her ear off if she didn’t at least attempt to eat it. Momo next to her, Sana could feel the warmth of her body heat emitting from her, watching Sana carefully.

And then Sana felt it. She felt the familiar sensation of Momo’s fingertips brushing, except this time, it was on her bare knee. She could feel Momo’s unsure movements, her nails gently scraping against Sana’s skin. Sana didn’t jerk, she hardly even flinched. But she felt the way her heart skipped a few beats or maybe even ten, her stomach dropping as butterflies starting swarming around.

Sana looked over curiously, seeing Momo wasn’t looking to her, she was staring straight ahead, to the television, taking a drink from her coffee. Momo’s fingers lingered, quietly and slowly resting against Sana’s thigh, right above her knee.

“Is…is that okay?” Momo finally finished her sip, swallowing nervously and still refusing to look directly to Sana.

Sana’s heart was doing another dance, her brain was now actually in hyperdrive, distinctly aware of Momo’s warm palm, sending shivers down Sana’s spine, from a simple touch. She could smell Momo’s rose perfume, she could smell a hint of tobacco because they all had a knack for it, Momo was so close Sana could see the lining of her forearm.

“…Yeah,” Sana managed out, it didn’t sound as strained as Sana felt, wanting to grab Momo’s arm and just feel the tension in her muscles, maybe even insist she keep her hand there, “Its absolutely okay Momo. I love any affection, you know that.”

She knew exactly what this was, she knew exactly what Momo was doing. She was testing her limits, pushing this boundary Momo had created for herself and herself only. Maybe opening up to someone else about it was helping her, making her realize she had the chance to decide for herself these limits, rather than avoiding them as a whole. It took years, to get to the point they were at, where Momo actively sought out Sana and Sana patiently waited with open arms.

“Right,” Momo nodded, Sana’s leg twitched slightly when Momo’s thumb brushed her skin absentmindedly, looking back to the television. “Look—” She pointed out as Sana craned her neck, “Mina is on.”

Something in the depths of Sana’s mind was going crazy, unlocking something about herself she didn’t ever quite look too into. Sana watched, seeing Mina’s beautiful face take over their screen, her smile as dazzling as ever, her hair in blowout curls once again, it must be Yeosang’s favorite style to do on her, it seemed to become a staple.

“Good morning everyone,” Mina’s voice was like honey, so melodious and sweet, it felt like music in Sana’s ears, “Welcome to the 5:30 update. Starting off in the East District—” Sana couldn’t actually grasp onto any words Mina was saying, she could only focus on the softness of her voice, and her eyes were glued to the pearls Mina was wearing, the gift she hadn’t taken off since Sana and Momo gave them to her.

Sana’s senses were bugging out. Her eyes were focused on Mina’s face, her peripherals could see the outline of Momo’s jawline. Her ears were full of Mina’s honey-like voice, she could smell Momo’s rose and amber scented perfume. And she could only focus on the feeling of Momo’s palm on her leg, twitching slightly, giving Sana’s leg a soft squeeze. Sending shivers down her spine, shockwaves into the pit of Sana’s stomach. She was wholly overwhelmed, by Momo and Mina. Like her brain could only focus on them two, her mind starting to concoct things she neve really dared to delve into.

“Well—” Momo patted Sana’s leg softly, pulling away and Sana nearly whined, just barely stopping herself. She cleared her throat instead, grabbing a few mouthfuls of rice to try to bland herself back into reality. “I should get going,” Momo went to the sofa, grabbing her apprentice shirt, slipping it on, not buttoning it up quite yet, which wasn’t helping Sana’s case at all, “After Mina’s thirty minute update, its usually about time for me to head out.”

Sana only hummed, chewing as thoroughly as she could. Momo turned around, Sana looked right back to her. Momo’s face scrunched in delight again, she looked painfully cute, it made Sana’s chest hurt. “Don’t stuff your face,” Momo snickered, walking over, pinching Sana’s cheek, which was full of rice.

“What do you mean?” Sana asked, though it was muffled and nearly indecipherable, from how much rice she was still trying to chew.

“You look cute,” Momo repeated, “Your cheeks are extra round like that.”

Sana forcefully swallowed way more rice than she was ready to, feeling a block roll down her throat, taking a deep breath. “I’m just me,” Sana managed out, knowing that was going to settle heavy.

“And you’re cute,” Momo repeated, pulling Sana into a hug, “Good luck at school.”

“Thanks,” Sana tried to relax, still overwhelmed at the smell of Momo’s perfume, wanting to bury herself directly into it. She hugged Momo back, still, because Sana could never say no to such an affection. She felt Momo’s arm squeeze her reassuringly, resting over her shoulders, Sana’s hand resting on the curve of Momo’s waist.

Momo pulled away slightly, closer than usual, still looking down to Sana at their uneven heights, Momo standing and Sana sitting. Sana looked up to Momo curiously, not even able to deny her blush if Momo questioned it, dreading if that was going to be the case.

Though, from this closeness and this angle, Sana could see Momo’s cheeks also dusted pink, not nearly as red as her lipstick, but Sana could see it.

“…Hey Sana?” Momo stared down to her, voice a bit quiet, Sana could feel the way Momo was shaking slightly.

“Yes Momo?” Sana asked, forcing herself to get over her brain to focus only on Momo, “Everything okay?”

“Uhm,” Momo bit her lip, “…Thanks.”

“For what?” Sana asked curiously.

“For…for just sticking around,” Momo decided on, keeping it simple, “Always.”

“Anything for you,” Sana made sure they locked eyes, putting as much truth into her tone, “I’d do it all over again.”

“Do…uhm…Well…you—” Momo was stuttering, “You’re like…you like affection, right?”

“I do,” Sana confirmed even though this was just a simple fact about her, “Why?”

“Can I like…try something?”

“Are you comfortable trying it?” Sana wanted to immediately tell her yes, but she knew that wasn’t what Momo needed, “You can try whatever you want, but I need you to be 100% okay with it.”

“I want to,” Momo admitted, “Its kind of been in the back of my mind for…like a while.”

Sana tilted her head slightly in curiosity.

“I don’t think I’ll have the actual nerve if I keep thinking about it,” Momo admitted, “So I’m doing it one step at a time.”

“As long as you’re okay,” Sana repeated her sentiment, tightening her grip on Momo’s waist in reassurance.

Momo didn’t respond, she simply reached over, brushing a bit of hair away from Sana’s face, tucking it behind her ear. And she leaned in, Sana tried to be as still as she possibly could. Unsure what was exactly going to happen, but loving Momo and trusting her beyond words, Sana just waited.

Momo’s lips pressed against her cheek, warm and agonizingly slow. The shockwaves continued down Sana’s spine, her heart felt like it had to have stopped beating, feeling Momo’s hand cup her jaw. Right near the corner of her lips, close enough that Sana could feel Momo’s nose brushing against her skin. Sana was burning, inside and out, her hand twitching as she squeezed Momo’s waist again.

One simple tender kiss to the cheek was all it took for Sana to feel like she was coming completely undone.

Momo pulled away, eyes fluttering open as she locked eyes with Sana, face burning just as much as Sana felt. She lingered for a moment, close enough for Sana to feel an exhale against her cheek.

God, it took everything in Sana’s willpower to keep herself composed, letting out a small breath. “…Better?” She questioned.

“Yeah,” Momo nodded, skin burning, “Okay, bye.”

Sana knew Momo wasn’t panicking, but she was definitely nervous. She pulled away way quicker than she latched on, Sana bit her tongue to avoid whining. She grabbed her bandana and keys, scurrying off to the front door, fumbling with the knob for a moment before finally getting it open.

“Um…okay, bye,” Momo repeated, looking as red as her lipstick, “Uhm…you look beautiful. Yeah. You always do though, so this isn’t a surprise.”

“Bye Momo,” Sana resisted the urge to laugh, even through her nervousness, watching Momo flounder around.

“Okay, bye,” Momo waved her off for the third time, shutting the door behind her. Sana finally exhaled her breath, slumping back onto the stool. Her heart was racing, her stomach was knotted, her nerves were everywhere. Sana’s brain was full on raging, replaying Momo’s kiss onto her cheek over and over again.

“Fuck—” Sana thumped her forehead against the counter, feeling frustration course through her veins, clenching her fist, thumping against the counter a few times for good measure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—” Sana continued cursing to herself, wanting to rip her hair out and scream. This certainly couldn’t be healthy, Sana certainly shouldn’t feel this sexually enthralled by a single kiss on the goddamn cheek, she shouldn’t be so overstimulated merely from a hand to her leg and Mina’s voice. She was a whole grown woman, who had her fair share of sexual encounters. There was absolutely no reason for her to be reacting like this.

Sana brushed her hand over Momo’s kiss, shivering slightly. Her leg twitched, Sana groaned. God, she needed to get laid so badly it was starting to worry her. Did she have a problem? Was there a reason she was having an even harder time not fantasizing about her two best friends?

Sana shut her eyes, head still resting on the counter, looking to the leg Momo had touched. She imagined it, Momo’s fingers running up her thigh, Mina’s voice echoing. Sana brushed her own fingers up her thigh, mind starting to think more and more of things that should never happen, Momo and Mina both overtaking her vision.

Would it be the worst thing to just release a little bit of her tension…?

Sana let her fingers graze her thigh just a little bit higher, biting back a small moan, dragging them even higher—

The door whipped open, Sana didn’t even try to stop herself as she practically shrieked in surprise, jumping and feeling her knee slam onto the counter. She bit her tongue, feeling a blast of pain shoot through her leg, “Oh son of a fucking bitch!” Sana hissed out, falling from the stool because at this point, the floor felt exactly like where she belonged. She grabbed her knee, curling onto the floor, slamming her hand onto the flooring to distract herself from her knee pain.

“Whoa, you’re awake?” Jihyo’s voice was exactly what Sana needed to drag herself back to clarity.

“…Jihyo?” Sana sat up, peeking over the sofa.

“I’ve never heard you curse so aggressively,” Jihyo snorted, closing the door behind her, “It was kind of fucking hilarious.” She was carrying Taehyun, her babies were starting to be easier to distinguish as they grew into their features. Taehyun was wide awake, chewing on a toy Jihyo must have gotten for him, wearing a simple baby shirt and his diaper. His hair was a bit damp, as was Jihyo.

“Jihyo, I don’t need this right now,” Sana huffed, blowing a stray hair from her face, “Its too early.”

“For you it is,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, going to the freezer and opening the door.

“Sick,” Jihyo smirked, taking out the container of smoothie Momo must have made for her earlier this morning, “Momo left already?”

Sana pinched her nose bridge, feeling a headache coming on, “Uh huh.”

“Figured,” Jihyo shrugged, opening the lid to her smoothie, poking it with her finger and giving it a taste test. Sana could see the satisfaction in her eyes, “I didn’t think I’d see you right now though. You’re never up this early.”

“I know,” Sana groaned, “Is Nayeon awake?”

“Yep,” Jihyo shrugged, Sana could see the way Taehyun’s eyes curiously eyed Jihyo’s drink, “You want some?” Jihyo noticed, dipping her finger into the smoothie again, offering it to him as he grabbed her hand with surprising dexterity.

Sana watched Taehyun suck Jihyo’s finger, eyes widening in surprise. She smiled slightly, watching Jihyo grin to Taehyun. “You like it?” Jihyo questioned, taking a drink from her smoothie as Taehyun babbled incoherently, but Jihyo nodded as if she knew exactly what he was saying.

“Sick,” Jihyo nodded, “Were going to be smoothie buddies. Its gonna be so rad dude. You strike me as a banana kind of guy…”

Sana stayed on the floor, trying to gather her bearings and move past her embarrassment, focusing on Jihyo’s absentminded conversation with her kid. “You know—” Jihyo’s voice sounded like she was about to start shit. Sana noticed Jihyo enjoyed doing that. Such as provoking Mina when they played games, snarking with Jeongyeon relentlessly.

“…What?” Sana asked, sighing slightly, trying to ignore the pain throbbing in her knee.

“Momo has been…curious lately, no?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sana said quickly. Jihyo rolled her eyes.

“You’re a bad liar,” Jihyo scoffed, “For one thing, I know this because Momo told me, without really thinking about it at first. About how maybe I was right and maybe she might be more interested in women than she thought.”

“Momo told you that?” Sana said in disbelief, “When?”

“Recently,” Jihyo took another sip from her drink, “I mean, I usually come earlier but Taehyun really needed a bath. I think I talk to you the least out of you three. But Nayeon-unnie really likes you, so it makes sense you’ve gotten closer to her. But also, you’re always sleeping in the mornings.”

“I need my beauty sleep,” Sana weakly protested, “What can I say?”

“No judgement,” Jihyo shrugged, “At least someone sleeps in these apartments. But anyway, you’re a horrible liar. I know Momo’s been curious…apparently me and her have more in common than I thought.”

Sana wanted to ask what she meant by that, but figured it wasn’t really her business.

“Okay, so maybe she has been,” Sana admitted, “Why are you bringing it up?”

“Because,” Jihyo explained, “I want some clarification.”

“Clarification?” Sana questioned, “On what?”

“Your feelings,” Jihyo shrugged, “About Momo and Mina.”

“Huh?” Sana felt her face burn again, “What…what do you mean?”

Jihyo rolled her eyes. “I’m 17, not 7,” She sighed, “I’m not totally oblivious to things. Mina told me everything.”

“Oh my god,” Sana buried her face into her hands, “What has my life become? Why is a 17 year old egging me on about my personal life…?”

“Hey, no shame,” Jihyo shrugged, “Was I expecting Mina to talk to me about you? Well…no.”

“You thought about this?” Sana looked to Jihyo incredulously. She finally dragged herself up from the floor, crawling back onto the stool, watching Jihyo carefully.

“Not like that,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “I just thought it would have been Mina talking about Momo first.”

“What the hell?” Sana questioned.

“What can I say?” Jihyo shrugged, “I just figured. Of course, the obvious one would have been that you and Momo had experimented. But, I have a feeling you guys never did.”

Sana burned. “What makes you think that?”

“Because Momo and I are similar,” Jihyo repeated, a bit more firmly, looking right into Sana’s eyes, “And there’s a reason you’d probably never dare to push her boundaries.”

Sana suddenly felt very heavy, like rocks had started piling up as she absorbed Jihyo’s words. “Which is why I would have thought it would have been Mina and Momo first,” Jihyo added, “Because Mina didn’t have anything stopping her. Well at first, now…I don’t know. And all of you guys are equal levels of affectionate with one another. Its fucking ridiculous, no wonder you guys are all confused.”

“I’m not confused about anything,” Sana defended, “I’m actually so aware its painful.”

“Let me guess,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “You care for them both so much? You like seeing Momo happy and you like knowing Mina always takes care of you?”

“…You’re weirdly observant,” Sana said slowly.

“Its a curse,” Jihyo groaned, “Everyone is frustrating. Mina is too shy, Momo is too nervous, you’re too emotionally conflicted.”

“My bad,” Sana said sarcastically, “Sorry I don’t want to ruin any friendships.”

“Your friendship changed the moment you and Mina had that conversation—” Jihyo pointed out, “Actually, no, it probably changed the day Mina fucked up your ex. Maybe even before that. I don’t know, you guys have always been weird.”

“I fucked up,” Sana admitted, “I shouldn’t have—”

“That’s not it,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “Not everything is about you dude, damn.”

Damn, why was this kid so blunt?

“But its so weird to hear that you and Mina have the same thought process,” Jihyo pointed out, “Because why did she nearly tell me the same thing? About how the feeling was there—but the only thing stopping it…was Momo.”

Sana didn’t reply, listening carefully to Jihyo words, as Jihyo watched her with equal care, “Like she came into the forefront of Mina’s mind—probably just like how she popped up in yours. And you probably felt really guilty, because Mina did too.”

“And Momo’s getting curious,” Jihyo added, “You need to talk to them, eventually.”

“i know,” Sana nodded quietly, “I shouldn’t drag Mina through this.”

“And Mina-unnie shouldn’t be so quiet either,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “I think you know exactly what you want, you’re both just scared.”

“I am,” Sana admitted, “Because I don’t want anything to change. I like—I love the way it is. Comforting, and when I think of home, its both of them I think of.”

“Yeah, things were changing anyway,” Jihyo shrugged, “Tis life. Its always going to change, for better or worse. You just have to learn how to work through it.”

“I—” Sana tried, “Thank you. I think. I wasn’t expecting you to give me such profound advice, I have to be honest with you.”

“Oh yeah,” Jihyo snorted, “I wasn’t planning on it, really. But I don’t know, you looked really fucking embarrassing on the ground, cheeks pink and Momo’s lipstick marked on your cheek—”

“What?!” Sana slapped a hand over her face, feeling her face burn.

“Oh yeah, I was definitely going to tease you about that,” Jihyo snickered, “At some point.”

“Leave me alone!” Sana whined, scurrying away in to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, still hearing the echoes of Jihyo’s triumphant laughter. God, that kid had a loud voice. Sure enough, Sana could see Momo’s lips marked on her cheek, a ghost of an outline.

“Oh I hate everything,” Sana hissed, turning the water on. So now, she was embarrassed, confused, exhausted, aching, and sexually frustrated, all in one breath.

She needed a cigarette.

April 23rd, 1995. Approximate time, 8:43 PM

“Hey—” Sana’s voice was quiet, curiously peeking her head into Mina’s room, the door just barely cracked open. Mina turned around from her desk chair. “Are you busy?” Sana asked, voice still quiet.

“I mean,” Mina looked to her notes for work, “I’m pretty caught up,” She decided, closing her notebook, “What’s up?”

Sana shut the door behind her, careful to not let it slam, “Momo fell asleep on the couch,” She said, a bit louder, leaning against the door.

“She’s been worked to the bone,” Mina frowned, “I hope they aren’t being too rough on her.”

“Me too,” Sana agreed, crossing her arms, as if trying to hold herself, “Listen…”

Her tone made Mina turn completely, watching Sana bite her lip in confliction, as she gazed around everywhere in Mina’s room except for Mina herself. The energy was just a bit different, it wasn’t quite Sana and Mina as usual. There was doubt coming from Sana’s energy, maybe a bit of fear.

“Talk to me,” Mina urged, crossing her legs and sitting back on her chair, arms crossed in concern, “You look worried?”

“I think we need to talk about…” Sana blushed, “You know…”

Mina’s eyes widened slightly, feeling her own ears burn, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Mina nodded slowly, “What about it?”

“Well,” Sana shuffled her feet, “What did you…uhm…I guess think? Like when it happened?”

“Well,” Mina thought back, “I was surprised at first. Because I wouldn’t have expected that we would do that. But well, it happened. And…I don’t know…I know we kind of felt like we shouldn’t have crossed that line…but…”

“But?” Sana waited patiently.

“I mean…was it really the worst line to cross?” Mina slowly admitted, gauging Sana’s reaction.

“You’re saying you wouldn’t have expected us to do that,” Sana pushed their conversation, “Why is that?”

“Because you’re my friend,” Mina emphasized, “First and foremost, let me put that out there. And well, I don’t know. Its always been you and Momo. Sana and Momo, Momo and Sana. For years. And then I come into the picture, and I’m not third wheeling, but I look at you guys as a unit.”

“A unit?”

“Yeah,” Mina nodded, “I see Sana and Momo. I see two best friends who have been together for over a decade. I see two beautiful women who I would have expected to have had some sort of relationship starting to bloom—but there wasn’t.”

“Oh,” Sana trailed off. Mina slowly got up from her chair, pushing herself up, slowly taking a few steps to Sana.

“…And there’s a reason for that, yeah?” Mina continued, Sana didn’t move from her spot against the door, but she certainly seemed to shrink a bit, “There’s a reason there never was something that came out of it, right?”

Sana didn’t respond. Her eyes stayed glued to the ground.

“She told me,” Mina said firmly, “You don’t have to dance around it. I even know she told you she told me, because Momo could never keep something like that away from you.”

“She did tell me she told you,” Sana whispered, still staring to the ground but Mina could see how her eyes grew watery, “She told me that night.”

“I know,” Mina nodded, “I may not have known you guys half my life—but I feel like I know you two well enough. And I know you well enough to figure out your thoughts.”

Sana frowned, “What thoughts?”

“Sana,” Mina crossed her arms again, “You care a lot, don’t you?”

“I would hope so,” Sana nodded.

“Momo said, you were great at recognizing patterns—she said I was the first person she ever admitted this to, because the only other person who ever knew was you, aside from your parents of course. But you weren’t the first person she told for a reason, weren’t you?”

Sana hugged herself tighter, looking away, fidgeting with the hem of the sleeve of her t-shirt.

“You were the one who figured it out…weren’t you?” Mina braced herself, exhaling her breath, reaching out, gently taking Sana’s elbow, just for any form of contact that she knew Sana desperately needed. Sana didn’t respond, she continued to stare off.

“You were the one who put the pieces together,” Mina pressed, “You met Momo, and you saw the signs. I know you’ve been reading psychology books since you were 7, for no reason other than you loved it. You saw her attachment to her dolls, you saw how she had trouble focusing in school. You saw the signs of abuse—it had to have been you, I’m not stupid.”

Sana’s lips pursed, tightly pressing together, Mina could see the way Sana’s neck was tensing, her muscles twitching. “How old were you when you confronted her about it?” Mina asked, watching Sana’s emotional wall waver.

“…You had to have still been young,” Mina continued, tugging Sana’s sleeve gently, getting Sana to come closer. Sana still refused to look to Mina, eyes now glistening with unshed tears she seemed to be holding back. “Because you met when you were ten,” Mina pointed out, “It had to have been happening already, by the time you met her.”

Sana still did not speak, but Mina took it as an opening for her to continue. “And you told her,” Mina whispered, “You confronted her. You told her exactly what you saw, and maybe a piece of her had already known. But Momo was young still, just like you were. You probably told your parents too, because you guys are very close, and they raised you right. Momo had to have begged them to not say anything.”

Now tears were freely dripping down Sana’s face, splotchy and uneven. Following the slope of her chin, dripping down onto the floor. Sana’s nose always turned red when she cried.

“But your parents knew better. And then her dad didn’t react the way you were hoping. So your home was her safe place,” Mina continued, “And she spent so many days there. Maybe even weeks at a time, hardly going home unless she really needed to. And it probably slowed down after some time, his beatings. Because Momo was getting older, and she was growing stronger. And that’s why she likes to be strong, its like something she can have control over.”

Sana sniffled.

“And you got older, and puberty hit. Momo had a growth spurt, you grew up a little. You looked at her, you looked at her a lot and probably started questioning things about yourself.”

Sana squeezed her eyes shut, more tears pushing out, streaming down and Mina could imagine they had to have burned. She reached out, taking Sana by her hands, lacing their fingers together, pulling her closer.

“And you had thoughts,” Mina whispered, observing Sana’s reactions carefully. The obvious expressions of guilt Sana showed, the slight resistance in her shoulders. “But every time you had thoughts—you felt guilty.”

Now Sana was moving a bit more, bringing their laced fingers to her face, using the back of her hand to wipe away her crying. “…Did you imagine kissing her?” Mina asked.

“I—” Sana whispered weakly.

“Just be honest,” Mina urged, “You can be honest with me Sana. You’re my friend before anything else. One of my best friends.”

Sana did not verbally answer, all that came out of her mouth was a slightly strained sob. She reached up, covering her mouth with her hand. Mina held her other hand tightly, simply watching. Sana did not answer with her voice, but Mina saw it. The nod of her head, nearly ashamed, right before she leaned into Mina, resting her head onto her shoulder.

“Its okay Sana,” Mina whispered, wrapping her arms around Sana as Sana hugged herself tightly, “You shouldn’t feel guilty for having simple thoughts.”

“…I feel like I’m crossing something I shouldn’t have,” Sana admitted out, right by Mina’s ear, sounding so weak and ashamed, “She’s my best friend, Minari. One of my best friends, someone who I held during some of the worst times.”

“And you were growing up,” Mina pointed out, “And Momo is beautiful, Sana. I know this, you know this.”

“She’s everything to me,” Sana sobbed out, “I just want her to feel safe with me. And she wouldn’t be able to feel safe if I just…admitted everything to her. If I admitted my weird, confusing feelings I get often.”

“…Do you understand how good of a person you are, Sana?” Mina asked her carefully, “You didn’t act on your feelings for the sake of making sure she was okay. That’s genuineness if I’ve ever seen it.”

“I can’t drag her down with me,” Sana shook her head, “I can’t drag you through the mud either.”

“What do you mean?” Mina questioned.

“I can’t string you along,” Sana wiping away her tears, “I can’t string you along when I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”

“What are you feeling, then, Sana?”

“I don’t know,” Sana sounded strained, “I feel…I feel a lot. I feel confused. I never confronted Momo about these unsaid feelings, and now I feel like they’re rearing back up again after years of not bringing it up. And you—”

“Tell me, Sana,” Mina pulled her closer, “Have you also thought about me?”

Sana covered her face in her hands, rubbing vigorously. Mina held Sana my her waist, as if trying to keep her grounded. She liked pressure, Mina remembered Momo told her, pulling her closer, hugging her tightly.

“I have—” Sana weakly admitted, keeping her face covered, as if she was embarrassed to even be confessing this in the first place, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“You’re human Sana,” Mina reassured her, rubbing her back with her palms, “Its okay Sana. I know you, I trust you. You’re not some monster like in her childhood, and you’re no predator like your ex.”

“I’m just confused,” Sana confessed, “Its making my head hurt. I don’t want to string you along but I don’t know—”

“Its okay,” Mina repeated, “I…I get confused too, sometimes you know.”

“You do…?” Sana questioned weakly.

“Of course I do,” Mina nodded reassuringly, feeling herself blush, “Why would I? Of course I met you and Momo and couldn’t help to think you two were the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes on. Of course I’ve gotten flustered when I catch you making out with strangers at the clubs. Of course I’ve thought about how strong Momo is and how quick you are to fluster. I’m human too Sana.”

“How about this?” Mina suggested, taking Sana’s hands away from her face, so she could see Sana in full, her flushed cheeks and swollen eyes. Her red nose and her sparkling eyes. Even in distress, Mina couldn’t help but think how beautiful Sana was. How kind-hearted she had grown to be, how she’d rather sacrifice her happiness for maintaining peace between Mina and Momo.

She cupped Sana’s face, holding her to ensure Sana could only ever look right to her, “We just…wait. We take some time to think. You sort your brain out, I’ll sort mine out. If you’re still conflicted, we can figure it out together. But for now…”

“Just breathe,” She whispered, pressing their foreheads together, “Let’s just enjoy the peace while we can.”

“I don’t want to string you along,” Sana repeated.

“You’re not stringing me along,” Mina shook her head, “I’m enjoying the ride while I’m here. Wherever I end up. Do that too. Just for a bit.”

Chapter Text

April 26th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:29 PM

Everything was different, but truthfully, nothing had changed. Sana was Sana, she continued to be affectionate in the way she loved to be to Momo and Mina, holding them close. Momo was Momo, cooking and ensuring they remained well fed. Holding their hands and even hugging them a lot more often, out of her own choice rather than waiting for them.

Mina felt as if she remained herself for the most part, as well. Still watching Sana, still watching Momo. Watching them interact and knowing something had shifted, in their lingering glances and soft affection. Maybe the tension Momo carried had finally released just a bit more. Whatever is was, Mina would rather have that than anything else at this point, and it felt good to see it.

“Tired?” Momo had asked, throwing an arm around Mina, pulling her close as Mina relaxed under her warmth. Sana was in the shower, Mina was waiting for her turn. Momo had already showered, the only thing she ever used the eldest card on was shower privileges, which Mina wouldn’t necessarily protest given she had her own room.

“A bit,” Mina admitted, closing her eyes, burying herself into Momo’s shirt, smelling her rose body soap, “You smell nice.” It was harder to not want to melt under either of their affections, but Mina felt as if she had gotten a decent grip on it.

“I try,” Momo joked, and they basked in the silence they shared together. Mina liked this side of Momo, the more reassured version of her. Who was holding Mina without doubt, her arms strong.

Mina stretched her arms, wrapping them around Momo’s waist and hugging her like a teddy bear. Momo was the best to do this with, Sana needed to be tended to and both her and Mina were on the smaller side. Momo was also quite petite, but she was muscular, every piece of her was muscle, despite always being in the kitchen. Even right now, Mina could feel the tightness of Momo’s stomach against her arm.

“…Want to lay down?” Momo offered quite suddenly, as Mina turned to look at her curiously.

“Like…cuddle?” Mina questioned, she could already see the light dust of a blush over Momo’s cheeks.

“I-I mean I know its more Sana’s thing—” Momo was starting to stutter, Mina couldn’t help but giggle.

“Relax,” Mina reassured her, “I’m not against it. Just curious, is all.”

“I dunno,” Momo yawned, “I see you guys cuddling all the time. Sana and I cuddle. I don’t think you and I do it much, though.”

“I just didn’t think it was your thing,” Mina shrugged, “With me at least.”

“Well—” Momo shrugged, “We can always see if it can become a thing. I like to think I’m a pretty solid pillow.”

Mina giggled again, Momo always made her blush. With her dorky comments and her shy demeanor, Mina had always found Momo endearing in a charming way. Sana was more boisterous, much more lively. She was all smiles and sunshine, Mina lived for that energy. But Momo was always such a peaceful change from Sana’s excitement. Mina supposed she appreciated them both in different ways.

Momo grinned back, beaming to make Mina laugh. Mina liked the way Momo’s nose scrunched, maybe she just had a thing for it, because Sana’s did the exact same thing when she laughed just as hard.

“Let’s test it out then,” Mina agreed, pulling away, as Momo laid down, stretching her legs. Mina saw how her muscles tensed, the lines on her thighs visible because she had changed into shorts now that it was getting warmer.

She held her arm out again, as Mina laid down beside her, squished between Momo and the couch in the most comfortable way possible. She laid onto the crook of Momo’s shoulder, feeling Momo’s muscles beneath her stay firm. She felt Momo’s arm wrap around her, Momo was heavy, she was solid but a bit cooler to the touch. Because Sana ran warm and Momo was always cold. She was comfortable, Mina could feel the way Momo squeezed her shoulders.

Mina slid her hand over Momo’s abdomen, resting her palm right over her stomach, on top of the material of her sweatshirt.

“Is this okay?” Mina questioned, because it was Momo, and she never wanted to make the woman uncomfortable.

“Its good,” Momo relaxed a bit, Mina could feel her stomach moving as she breathed, “I promise.”

Mina relaxed a bit more, now able to actually start paying attention to her bubbling thoughts. “…Can I ask you a question?” Momo angled her head a bit, looking to Mina curiously. Mina craned her neck up slightly, to let Momo know she was listening.

“What’s up?” Mina asked.

“You’re gay, right?”

“Last I checked,” Mina couldn’t help herself.

She could the way Momo’s body moved, chuckling at Mina’s poor joke. Mina felt Momo’s hand start to rub her arm, up and down, relaxed movements as Momo gathered her thoughts.

“How did you know?” Momo questioned.

Mina bit her lip, her heart starting to stutter a bit.

“Well,” Mina considered, “For me, at least, I just kind of knew at some point. Kind of like…mmm,” Mina hummed, trying to figure out the best way to get this across. “Well…what’s your favorite color?”

“Pink.” Momo said with the upmost confidence, Mina looked up, seeing Momo grinning happily. Pink. Years of knowing Momo and she had never really asked. Momo always leaned into dark colors—Mina kind of assumed her favorite color was like blue or such. Not pink.

“Okay,” Mina could feel a smile crawling up her lips, “And how’d you decide that?”

“Barbies.”

Oh. Oh, Mina could feel her heart doing another somersault. “But also, I just think the color is pretty,” Momo shrugged, staring up to the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts, “Sana puts a lot of thought into her favorite things. Cultural representations, double meanings. I think its beautiful but that’s a lot of work. I just like what I like—oooooh.”

“It was just like that,” Mina chuckled, “I was just at school. And it was Valentine’s Day. And instead of how it is in Japan, where girls give their boy crushes chocolates and wait for a response on White Day, in America, boys typically come and ask a girl to be their Valentine’s, with gifts like chocolate and red roses.”

“Oh boy,” Momo listened earnestly.

“I kind of may have had a few boys come up to me,” Mina was still embarrassed to think about it to this day, feeling Momo pat her arm reassuringly, “With roses and chocolates and just gifts. And shit dude…it was fucking embarrassing.”

Mina could feel Momo’s abs tense, laughing loudly at Mina’s comment. “Its true!” Mina insisted, “Its so fucking embarrassing! And what am I supposed to do? I realized as they were giving me these gifts that I really, really didn’t like any of them. For such dumb reasons. One guy’s hair was too gelled. Another guy’s pants were too baggy. And I kind of knew I was more just coming up with any excuse to be able to say no. None of them really struck me as a possibility. I didn’t even like to look at guys in the eyes.”

“Oh, so you just don’t like them, at all,” Momo breathed out, “Well I guess that’s what being gay means.”

“I figured out when one of my friends gave me a pen.”

“A pen?”

“A really nice pen,” Mina nodded, remembering how good that pen wrote. “It was so small, but I think I had just found her pretty to begin with. Her mom got a pack of her pens she could give to her friends. I was thrilled. I loved that pen so much.”

“And the pen made you realize you were gay?”

“Not the pen,” Mina rolled her eyes, “But when my friend gave me the pen…when she told me she had a surprise for me…a piece of me wondered…would she ask me to be her Valentine’s? And when I asked myself that, I found myself kind of hoping for her to ask me. I never had any hope for any boy in school. But in that moment, I found myself hoping.”

“Huh,” Momo seemed to be thinking very deeply about Mina’s tale, “…I think…I think there’s a chance I might like women.”

“Oh?” Mina tried to keep her voice steady. There was no reason to be as excited as she felt, quite honestly.

“Yeah…” Momo said slowly, as if she was still testing those words, “I think…I think I might. To an extent, at least.”

“Experimenting is always fine,” Mina nodded, “Sometimes you need to experiment. Sometimes you don’t. Doesn’t make the sexuality any less valid.”

“Maybe I will…” Momo said a bit distractedly, Mina watched her eyes flutter shut, her expression twitching, her neck straining slightly.

They laid in silence for a moment. Mina felt Momo’s breathing get a bit strange. Momo’s grip tightened slightly, rubbing Mina’s arm a bit firmer.

“Um…Mina,” Momo finally cracked.

“Yes?”

“Your hand—” Momo reached, grabbing Mina’s hand that was over her stomach, lifting it off of her, “I don’t even think you know that you’re tracing patterns over my stomach.”

“Oh—” Mina blushed, feeling her ears burn trying to pull away but Momo’s grip on her wrist kept her in place, “I’m so sorry—I-I don’t think I even realized—”

“Its okay,” Momo breathed out, but Mina had just noticed the light dust of pink that was crawling over Momo’s neck, “Really. But uh…” She twisted her hand, taking Mina’s hand into her own, lacing their fingers together, placing Mina’s hand back on her stomach, but keeping it still, “Let’s…let’s just keep our hand still. I’ll hold it for you.”

“I’m so sorry,” Mina cringed.

“Its okay,” Momo repeated, “I just—I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“Well…did it make you…?” Mina didn’t know how to find the right words, “Like…uncomfortable?”

“Oh, oh,” Momo blinked a few times, “My bad. Yeah, uhm, I can see why you’d think that. Um…I don’t talk about my sex life with you all that much. Um…pattern tracing…yeah…I like it a bit too much.”

Mina’s stomach knotted. “Oh,” She said, realizing the implication, and burning at the thought of it, “Oh. I’m so sorry—”

“Its cool, its cool—” Momo quickly reassured her, “You um…you didn’t know. And I mean, I trust you, you know? You wouldn’t have done that like…maliciously or whatever.”

“I guess we don’t really talk about sex all that much to each other,” Mina blushed, “I thought you were straight so, I didn’t see a way to talk about it.”

“I mean…we’re friends, right?” Momo questioned slowly, “I-I mean…like…good friends, right?”

“I’d hope so,” Mina agreed, watching the way their hands were laced, Momo’s hand over hers, her palm wider than Mina’s, “Some might even claim us to be best friends.”

“Sana tells me stuff,” Momo explained, “I’ve told her stuff. I think I might know a little too much about her at this point—” Momo snorted, “But it was always nice to talk about it. It made me feel less weird about bedroom habits. Sana is really good at talking about taboo topics.”

“She is,” Mina agreed, knowing Sana and her conversations have taken interesting turns, “She makes it easier to ask questions. I like that about her. I’ve had my questions and doubts, she makes me feel better about them.”

“Is it different, like…having sex with a woman?” Momo asked, genuinely curious.

“I wouldn’t know,” Mina admitted, “I haven’t had sex, actually.”

“Eh?” Momo craned her neck again, before blinking a few times. “Wait—” She trailed off deep in thought, “I—”

“Sana probably told you about it.”

“Yes, Sana did in fact tell me about this,” Momo blushed, “A-a while back? I guess this was already a conversation you guys had?”

“Yeah it was,” Mina sighed, letting her eyes shut for a moment, “I tell her these things knowing very well she’s going to tell you, but its still odd to hear you know about it.”

“I guess we kind of don’t really talk about these things,” Momo mused, “So…you’ve never had sex…like…at all?”

“…Yes,” Mina buried her face into Momo’s shirt, “I know, I know, its embarrassing—”

“Well, more like surprising,” Momo clarified, blushing, “Because well…um…like…why wouldn’t some woman…like…want to…?”

“…You saying I’m hot?” Mina raised a teasing eyebrow, making Momo huff slightly, squeezing Mina in protest. Momo’s arms were very strong. Teasing Momo was a great way to distract Mina from her bubbling thoughts.

“You could say,” Momo huffed in defeat, “You’re extremely attractive Minari. How has no woman jumped at the chance?”

“I’m lame,” Mina admitted, “I get too shy.”

“That’s surprising,” Momo said absentmindedly, patting Mina’s hand with her palm, “I would have assumed you were pretty bold.”

“Bold…?” Mina questioned.

“Yeah,” Momo shrugged, “You’re bold with Sana. You’re bold with me. When you jokingly flirt and shit, I thought it would’ve been kind of the same.”

“I’m comfortable with you guys, that’s why,” Mina admitted, “Its easy to be firm with you two, because I’m comfortable. And you both listen to me well.”

“Huh,” Momo mumbled, Mina could see the way her ears burned.

“But like…hookups haven’t really been my thing. I don’t want my first time to be a hookup, I want someone I’m comfortable with. Someone I trust.”

“I get that,” Momo nodded understandingly, “Sex is a bit weird like that, Sana likes hooking up, you aren’t a fan of it. I’m okay with it I guess, it was easy with guys. But I don’t know…I don’t know what I want now.”

“I just think experimenting with someone you trust makes it a bit easier,” Mina shrugged, “I give Sana props, because the thought of someone looking at me naked and they don’t even know my last name is a bit off-putting for me.”

“I just know Sana is afraid of getting attached,” Momo said, “That’s why hookups worked for her. Though…she hasn’t really been active with that lately.”

“Yeah,” Mina recalled their conversation, “I…I think she’s just distracted with other things.”

“Yeah…” Momo trailed off, looking a bit conflicted, Mina could see the way her eyes glanced over to Mina before adverting away, “Well, whatever woman gets the opportunity to get with you—she better take care of you good.”

Mina laughed slightly, “I don’t think that’ll happen for a while,” Mina admitted, “I like where I’m at right now. And besides…if I were to ever have sex, I’d want to have known her for a while, so it’d have to be someone I already know or meet pretty soon. And she’d have to be pretty nice, I don’t think I have high standards but I have some preferences—”

“Like?”

“Well…I’d like a woman older than me,” Mina shrugged, thinking a bit more on this possibility. It was sort of intimidating, “A woman with a passion, preferably pursing a career. I don’t think I can deal with no motivation, because I work and I’d want her to work too. Equal partnership. She’d have to be kind, I don’t like to deal with assholes, we both know this. Maybe a woman who wants to take care of me in some sense, but will let me do the same for her. I really enjoy taking care of someone. A woman who makes me giggle, or laugh. Who has a passion for life, but who I can also be in silence with. I like slightly messy hair, I like when women pull their hair up, I think that’s just because I like admiring necks. Did you know I also like noses? I want a distinct nose, maybe that’s a bit picky but what can I say? And I like soft smelling perfumes—”

“…Sounds like Sana,” Momo said quietly. Mina was too distracted in her brain to really think about it, too caught up in the conversation.

“Honestly, probably—” Mina replied absentmindedly, “Or honestly, you’d be such a catch. God, if I were to ever lose my virginity I think between you two would be—”

Mina shut her mouth immediately, because maybe she was always a bit more impulsive than she thought. Of course her fucking mouth ran faster than her stupid brain. She felt the way Momo’s hand ceased to move, simply going slightly slack. Mina looked up, seeing Momo looking down to her with an extremely surprised expression, her face now blazing a cherry red, Mina didn’t even know Momo was capable of burning that much.

She figured she wasn’t looking any better, feeling like she wanted to just launch herself off the couch, melting into the ground or falling down the stairs, whichever was easier.

“Me?” Momo questioned, very heavily emphasizing her shock.

“Um,” Mina’s voice cracked, panic setting in, feeling it raise about two octaves, “I-I mean—Well…you see—”

“Wait,” Momo’s face scrunched, it was incredibly endearing, “You said either me or Sana.”

“Well, just because—”

“Actually, no,” Momo shook her head, “You said it would be between me or Sana—”

Well, actually, I meant between you two in general, Mina thought to herself.

“Between me and her?”

Mina’s stomach dropped. “…I just did that thing where I do it out loud instead of in my head, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Momo confirmed, face only burning hotter.

“I—”

“Wait,” Momo stopped her again, blinking a few times. Mina could see the cogs in her brain starting to turn, “Are…are you being serious when you flirt with me? Like about everything? Like…like—”

“Uhm,” Mina’s voice was straining, “You see…I—”

The bathroom door opened, Mina never wanted to shower so fucking badly in her life.

“I have to shower!” Mina launched herself off the couch, nearly tripping as she swung her leg over the back, scurrying off while Momo only sat up.

“Sana—” Mina froze, utter dread pooling in the pit of her stomach, seeing Sana standing in front of her in nothing but the towel wrapped around her. Oh no, oh no—Mina felt her face grow hot. Usually, this wouldn’t faze her, or she could at least keep it to herself. But Mina’s senses were heightened, still running on the nerves from accidentally maybe turning Momo on slightly with her fidgeting. And accidentally slipping up—Mina’s head was running on overdrive.

Seeing Sana like this was not helping. The towel around her was drenched, hugging the curves of her chest and waist. Sana’s hair was clipped up, exposing her collarbones and neck, bare and covered in droplets of water. If Mina stared long enough, she could see that the air, in fact, was very cold—Sana’s expression was a bit surprised, but more confused than anything.

“Where the hell are your clothes?!” Mina whined, slapping a hand to cover her eyes.

“…In my room?” Sana questioned, “Are you okay?”

“I-I just need to shower—” Mina pleaded, peeking through her fingers to brush past Sana, ears burning as she trying to push the door open, only to slam right into it face first, because of course Sana had finally decided to actually close the door behind her this time around. Not like she had gotten reminded for a month and a half straight before she remembered to actually do it.

“Whoa—” Sana caught Mina as she stumbled backwards, “Dude, you just took a gnarly hit!”

Mina felt Sana’s arms wrap around her from behind, feeling the wetness of her towel soaking through the back of Mina’s shirt. Mina froze, feeling Sana’s chest against her shoulder blades, her voice right beside Mina’s ear. Like in her fucking dreams— It was everything Mina fantasized about, only worse.

“Oh my god!” Mina squeaked out, “I’m chill! I’m cool!” She scrambled out of Sana’s touch, holding her face with one hand while the other struggled to open the door, jiggling it a few times. Finally, finally it opened up, and Mina shoved her way in, slamming it behind her to ensure no more surprises would happen.

“…You sure you good?” Sana’s voice was right behind the door.

“Leave me alone!” Mina begged.

April 26th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:37 PM

“What the hell was that all about?” Sana walked into the living room, utterly confused by the entire interaction she had with Mina. She always walked out in a towel, and unless more was showing than she thought, she wasn’t entirely sure why Mina freaked the way she did. Sure, they had a bit of a strange thing going on, but this routine was way before that.

Momo was sitting on the sofa, back rigidly straight. Not in nerves, but of embarrassment, hands clasped together, eyes a bit wide, looking very, very dazed.

“Momo…?” Sana questioned, “You good?”

“I have a lot going on in my head,” Momo said slowly, turning to Sana, and Sana watched her eyes drag up Sana’s figure. Sana quite literally saw Momo’s eyes move over Sana’s body, from her feet, up the curves of her body, to her face. Momo’s blush darkened with each passing moment.

Sana felt her own skin heat up, having never been so boldly checked out like that, she wasn’t even sure Momo knew what she did. But a piece of her was enthralled—preening at the very obvious way Momo was observing her. Like she was starting to realize how attractive Sana was, in a specific way that wasn’t there before.

“…I’m really confused right now,” Momo announced, eyes still lingering at Sana’s figure, and Sana was starting to think maybe going around in a towel wasn’t the smartest choice, “First its Mina’s fingers—now its your body—what the hell is going on—”

Sana could only focus on one part of that statement. “Mina’s fingers?”

“Uhm—” Momo’s mouth clamped shut, face going even darker if that was even physically possible. It was impossible, but Sana momentarily wondered if Momo was going to lose blood circulation because all the blood was travelling to her cheeks. “…Nothing,” She said quickly, shaking her head vigorously.

“Uhm…I’m going to go change?” Sana tried, wrapping her arms around herself to cover a little bit more, because it seemed this was a very bad idea.

“Yeah,” Momo decided, “Also, Sana—”

Sana waited, ears burning. Momo looked to Sana, very apparently trying to keep her eyes locked with Sana’s eyes and no where else, “I’m so sorry I just did that.”

“Its okay,” Sana said softly, “You’ve never given yourself the chance to indulge. You can indulge a little.”

“I—” Momo stuttered.

“I’m hot,” Sana shrugged, remembering Nayeon’s words from two months ago, “Its okay to think that. I know I am.”

Pivoting around, Sana felt the droplets run down her spine, practically feeling Momo’s eyes follow her, as she walked into their room, shutting the door behind her with a resound click.

April 27th 1995. Approximate time, 11:49 AM

“You’re embarrassing,” Jihyo’s tone was disappointed, Mina couldn’t even find it in herself to argue, instead letting her head thump onto the front desk.

“I know I am,” Mina wallowed, “I’m a lesbian virgin, why do they forget this?!”

“You look like someone who’s gotten laid,” Jihyo shrugged, “That should be a good thing. Instead, you somehow made it more embarrassing than it needs to be.”

“I can never show my face again,” Mina decided on.

“You’re dramatic,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, patting Mina’s back, “You just have to own it. I mean, they already feel you’re more bold than you think you are. Just own up to it.”

“And mess everything up?” Mina groaned, “No thanks.”

“Unnie,” Jihyo tugged at Mina’s shirt, dragging her up to make Mina look at her, “You and Sana have the exact same thoughts. That’s progress. Her feelings are just as confused as yours.”

“How is that progress?” Mina whined.

“It means you’re not alone,” Jihyo pointed out, “And it makes it all the more easier to open up about it.”

“It—its weird,” Mina protested, “How do I even go about that? Hey guys—I think about kissing both of you—you both make me feel like I might have romantic feelings for both of you!”

“…Yes,” Jihyo was aggravated, “Literally just that! You’re making this so much harder!”

“What if it offends them?” Mina questioned.

“Well then at that point its not worth it,” Jihyo sighed, “Because you were more than understanding with Sana—screw her if she doesn’t have the same sentiment for you.”

“Don’t screw Sana,” Mina scolded, “She’s allowed to have her own opinions.”

“Man, you’re trippin,” Jihyo shook her head, “I feel like I’m talking to a fucking wall. A virgin wall.”

“I just…” Mina sighed, “I care about them so much Jihyo, I don’t know how to describe it. If anything broke us apart, I-I don’t even know—”

“I guess I can’t understand this fully,” Jihyo sounded reluctant to admit, “I haven’t really had a crush. Much less two. But I dunno dude, if they treated me the way Sana and Momo treated you, I’d think maybe I had a shot.”

“You don’t get it,” Mina whined, “I embarrassed myself so bad yesterday—”

“Look at it differently,” Jihyo argued, “You now know you have the ability to turn Momo on. And you now know you’d probably find Sana attractive if she was naked.”

“Well I already knew the second part,” Mina hissed, “And the first part is out of my control. Sometimes, you react even if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I know this—” Jihyo rolled her eyes, clicking her tongue, “Are you stupid? I know that!”

“Sorry!” Mina apologized profusely, remembering who she was talking to.

“But she wasn’t mad at it,” Jihyo added, “She wasn’t even uncomfortable. She just basically said, not right now.”

Mina squeezed her eyes shut, ears burning as she remembered how easy it was for Momo to come loose from just that simple action. She couldn’t get it out of her head even if she tried. “She said she knew I didn’t know any better.”

“Better than rejection?”

“I’m hopeless,” Mina groaned.

Chapter Text

April 28th, 1995. Approximate time, 7:41 PM

The balcony was becoming a great spot to relax. Sana had decided this when they first moved in, it was a huge driving force as to why she picked this apartment. The sun was still out, but it was getting ready to set, the sky turning burnt orange as the city remained as busy as usual.

The radio was playing, Sana never saw a point to change it from the jazz station, studies showed it helped with brain development, and well, Sana had a few more years before her frontal lobe would be completed. Also, Momo enjoyed jazz, Sana supposed that was another driving factor as to why it always rang in the apartment.

Rather than being alone this time around, Momo was sitting in another chair, having pushed the table to the side. It was a day off, Momo was in her usual casual wear, a pair of dark denim bootcut jeans, and a black laced blouse, the wind was blowing enough she clipped her hair up, bangs sort of going about with a mind of their own. She had been mostly out with Jeongyeon the day—something about accompanying her on errands, though Sana didn’t ask what errands. She just appreciated there was someone in Momo’s life who wanted to be her friend. Sana thought she looked breathtaking right now, but she didn’t know if it would be okay to say. The energy had been a bit odd to be quite honest. Not necessarily bad, but Sana was becoming very aware of the fact Momo was realizing she found Sana attractive.

Not in an innocent crush sort of way, though Sana kind of hoped something like that was there. No, Momo was realizing she found Sana attractive in the way the men in Momo’s life found her attractive. Sana noticed this, because Momo did not even hide the fact she was staring—it was like her brain was malfunctioning, as if she had never really given herself the time of day to understand the thoughts, and she did not know how to hide it.

The other thing Sana was becoming increasingly aware of—she wasn’t the only one Momo could not stop staring at.

The balcony door opened, Sana and Momo turned, seeing Mina rubbing her eyes tiredly, just having woken up from her nap. She was wearing a pair of windbreaker pants, her t-shirt sliding off her shoulder slightly. Sana could see the way Momo’s eyes went straight to the strip of exposed skin, and she wanted to laugh. She didn’t though, instead, she kind of admired the way Momo admired.

“Need a cigarette?” Sana offered, holding out the box as Mina took a seat.

“Please—” Mina yawned, grabbing the matches and lighting one up, cigarette in her mouth as she lit it. She shut her eyes, taking a deep inhale as the cigarette sparked, glowing a warm orange. Well, at this point, Sana couldn’t help herself either, watching Mina’s neck strain slightly as she inhaled.

“Soju?” Momo then offered, holding out a bottle she and Sana had silently began to split.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Mina chuckled, grabbing the bottle, bringing it to her lips as she tilted her head back, taking the equivalent of maybe three shots.

“Damn,” Momo whistled, “You trying to black out or what?”

“Maybe a bit,” Mina chuckled, taking another drag of her cigarette, “I’m just trying to speed up the process since I seem to have missed some.”

This was true, Sana and Momo had already finished about half the bottle, Sana was definitely feeling it a lot more than Momo, who was hardly even flushed. It definitely wouldn’t take Mina much longer to catch up, her cheeks already flushed.

“How’s school?” Momo made light conversation, taking another sip of the soju bottle, looking to Sana curiously, “You’re almost done with your first semester.”

“Crazy, right?” Sana sighed, “I’m glad its almost time for break. Teaching students statistics is boring. Nayeon is going to graduate too, she invited us to a celebration after. Of course, she keeps insisting it entirely depends on if she passes her thesis defense. I keep telling her she’s going to be fine—but she’s pretty nervous for it. Its sort of redundant, because she literally has it memorized front to back, but I guess she’s just like any other human. Just with an insane memory recall and a face three-quarters of the population would kill for.”

“That’s insane,” Mina shook her head, “She’s going to have a doctorate’s. What’s she planning on using it for anyway?”

“Apparently, her doctor friends want her to work in the research lab where they get their medication from,” Sana recalled their conversation, “Its kind of already lined up for her. Super cushy, her degree only puts her higher up than other applicants.”

“Good for them,” Momo nodded firmly, “I think they deserve a break like this. Nayeon working in a lab would be a huge relief financially, I’m sure.”

“Definitely,” Sana agreed, “The poor woman has been through so much—did you ever realize Jihyo and Jeongyeon were in the hospital at the same time? Nayeon had to be with Jihyo in the delivery room while Jeongyeon was in surgery—just for Jihyo to get eclampsia and hemorrhage.”

“Wait, seriously?” Mina scrunched her eyebrows worriedly, “That’s fucking terrible.”

“I can’t even imagine the stress,” Momo shook her head, “She’s a hell of a woman, I’ll say that.”

“One hell of a woman,” Mina agreed, taking another drag from her cigarette, “Jihyo told me a bit more about the Jeongyeon thing too,” Her eyes twinkled, “It was her step-dad Jeongyeon knocked out.”

“Step-dad?” Sana tilted her head, “I thought she was like…displaced or homeless or something?”

“No, no,” Mina shook her head, “Actually…Jihyo is technically a runaway. But her mom nor her step-dad ever made an official missing persons report, so…”

“Oh,” Momo said quietly, “So its good Jeongyeon knocked him out?”

“If I were to ever come across him, I’d have no other choice than to rip him apart with my bare hands,” Mina confirmed, eerily calmly. Sana would be off-put if this was anyone else except for Mina. If she wasn’t looking for approval that she was going to cross legal lines it had to have been a pretty serious situation.

“I guess its for the best,” Momo seemed to also understand Mina’s standpoint, “I can’t imagine where she’d be without Nayeon and Jeongyeon.”

“Wait—” Sana shook her head, “So Jeongyeon knocked out Jihyo’s step dad?”

“Yup,” Mina nodded, “Apparently she’s stronger than any of us gave her credit for.”

“Yeah I knew this,” Momo rubbed her arm, dazed, “She literally creamed me at arm wrestling. I was so ashamed.”

“I can’t imagine that,” Sana giggled, “How bad did she beat you?”

“She demolished me,” Momo admitted, “It was a huge hit to my pride.”

“Poor Momoring,” Mina cooed teasingly, “Don’t worry, you’re still the strongest woman I know.”

Sana watched Momo’s ears burn, as she nursed another sip from the soju bottle, “Stop,” Momo whined but Sana learned she didn’t actually mean for Mina to stop, “And you’re lying. You’ve very easily knocked out people—”

“If it makes you feel better, you could definitely demolish me in arm wrestling,” Sana grinned, half-joking half-serious.

“Me too,” Mina teased, “I only knock out people when necessary.”

“You guys suck,” Momo pouted, grabbing a cigarette from the box. Sana’s favorite expression was Momo’s pouting.

“…God, but imagine being pinned by someone as strong as Jeongyeon,” Mina blurted out, Sana tried to hold in her laugh, while Momo’s eyes widened at the suggestion. Mina always tried to censor herself when she was around Momo—Sana, not so much. Sana was used to these conversations, the alcohol and sleepiness was just making Mina a lot more braver.

“Nope,” Sana shook her head, “She’s not the pinner. Apparently Nayeon is a bit of a touch-me-not.”

“Whoa,” Mina’s eyes widened at the claim, “She told you this?”

“Mhm,” Sana nodded, “Hand me the soju, Momoring?”

Momo handed the bottle to Mina, who passed it to Sana.

“Um,” Momo cleared her throat, “What’s that?”

“Oh,” Mina shook her head, “Right. Well, you see…in gay relationships…the um…actual act of sex is different.”

“There’s the person giving, and the person receiving,” Sana swooped in, seeing Mina’s blush forming, “They can be interchangeable. Its not like a typical girl and guy relationship, where the guy typically always penetrates, and the woman is penetrated. There’s different ways to do things. In this case, there’s a top and bottom.”

“And typically,” Mina added, “The top is doing the…ahem…giving.”

“The bottom is receiving,” Sana continued, “But sometimes, some people don’t like to receive, or give. And that’s fine, there’s someone for everyone. In Nayeon’s case, and yes, she’s aware I was probably going to tell you guys about this, she doesn’t want to be pleasured.”

“At all?” Momo questioned.

“Nope,” Sana shook her head, “Its her preference, and she’s perfectly content being the one to give. So that’s what she does. Give and give and give…”

“With hands like hers?” Mina scoffed, “Oh yeah, Jeongyeon is a happy woman.”

Sana snickered, giving Mina a light push as Mina giggled right along with her.

“I have another question,” Momo spoke, “If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Anything for you, Momoring,” Mina was already feeling the alcohol worse than Sana, giving Momo a wink while Momo’s cheeks burned.

“Ask away Momo,” Sana swooped in again, “We’re all ears.”

“Well,” Momo bit her lip, “…What are you?”

Sana blinked. “Me?”

“Yeah,” She nodded slowly, as if trying to figure out the correct lingo, “Like…when you’re with…women.”

“Oh,” Mina also looked curiously to Sana, Sana could feel Mina’s eyes trying to focus, “We’ve absolutely already talked about this—”

Sana grinned, resting her chin on her palm, leaning against the arm rest of the chair, staring right back to Mina, “Go for it.”

“Switch,” Mina snapped her fingers as if she had perfectly pinned it, pointing to Sana, “You’re a switch.”

“There’s another word?” Momo questioned, “I feel like I’m learning a new language.”

“You’d be correct,” Sana winked, feeling a bit braver with the alcohol.

“It just means she doesn’t mind giving or receiving pleasure,” Mina explained, “And probably switches around over the course of a hookup.”

Sana could see the blush rising on Momo’s cheeks. “I guess I can see that,” She nodded, “She’s always been the one to do everything 100%.”

Momo looked to Mina curiously, “What about you?”

“I’m a virgin,” Mina stated bluntly before bursting out into laughter.

“Oh, she’s gone already,” Momo rolled her eyes, but there was no annoyance in her tone, it was full of endearment as she watched Mina try to gather herself.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Mina shook her head, fixing her hair slightly, “Okay, okay, I’m serious now. Let me see…”

“I truly don’t know,” Mina admitted, “Because I’ve never made it that far.”

“You strike me as someone who could take the lead for sure,” Sana insisted, “You can just kind of tell from make out experiences, too, you know.”

Mina thought for a moment.

“I guess when I’ve made out with women…I tend to be the one pinning them,” She said, very deep in thought, “Hm. I’m discovering something about myself, it seems.”

“So…you think you might be a top?” Momo sounded a bit confused, “Or what?”

“Maybe I could be,” Mina shrugged, “Dunno yet. I’ll let you know when I find out.”

Sana thought Mina’s jokes were a bit lame sometimes, in the way that she wanted to laugh out of painfulness than entertainment, but she knew for a fact Momo enjoyed them. Because Momo also had lame jokes, the two of them together was full of it. Sure enough, Momo snickered at Mina’s comment, scrunching her nose slightly while Mina beamed.

“What about you?” Mina suddenly questioned, directly looking to Momo, “What do you like?”

“Um,” Momo took a drag from her cigarette, “I wouldn’t be able to tell you either.”

“Okay, well—” Sana considered, “What do you think your limits would be? Because well…the most important thing about sex is the boundaries.”

“I mean—” Momo shrugged, leaning into her chair, legs slightly spread out. For a self-proclaimed straight woman, Momo definitely acted a lot gayer than she realized, Sana couldn’t help but think, “When I’ve been with men, there’s really no room for figuring this shit out.”

“Totally,” Sana wholeheartedly agreed, “They all do it the same way.”

“Desperately,” They both said at the same time, Sana giggling and Momo grinning.

“But I mean,” Momo gathered herself, “I’ve had sex, you know? I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with me, but I’m not a beginner—Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t…well…I like to actually finish.”

Mina choked on the sip of soju she had been taking. Sana didn’t even know when Mina had taken it from her. Maybe she was a bit more tipsy than she initially assumed.

“Hot damn,” Mina coughed out, “You go, girl. Get that orgasm. Or whatever you people say.”

Momo laughed, a genuine hearty laugh, the kind where she tilted her head back and Sana could see the way her eyes shut from glee. Mina laughed along, Sana could tell both of them were watching Momo, she wondered if Mina also thought Momo looked especially beautiful when she laughed like this.

“So…you know you like getting some sort of pleasure,” Sana continued the conversation when the other two calmed down, “Do you think you’d enjoy if a woman pleasured you?”

“I feel like…yeah…probably,” Momo seemed to really be thinking about this, “I think I could enjoy that. Its not that I’m inept to what I’m feeling—I’m just new to it. And its overwhelming, I have to be honest.”

“Could you imagine yourself pleasuring a woman?” Mina curiously asked.

“I don’t—” Momo scrunched her features in concentration, “I don’t know. Somehow, that seems more intimidating than just receiving it. I guess because I know like…what to expect when I’m receiving.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sana reassured her immediately.

“Everyone has different boundaries,” Mina agreed, “And if someone tries to argue against them—”

“I knock them out,” Momo nodded.

“—You kill them,” Mina corrected. Sana smiled, watching the way Momo gave a more genuine laugh, even if she was still a bit focused.

“Damn,” Momo breathed out, “Give me the soju, will you?”

Mina handed it off, Sana grabbed another cigarette. Mina’s eyes looked a bit distracted, gazing off to the way the sun was almost completely gone, having gotten so absorbed in the conversation. The night was still young, though. Sana wondered if there was going to be any more ground-breaking topics they’d come across on this night.

“I need to tell you something—”

Both Momo and Mina’s voices startled Sana, turning to see them facing each other.

“You can go first—”

They said in complete unison. Sana blinked. Her brain felt a bit foggy, more amazed at the fact they were talking in complete sync than about what it is they wanted to talk about. Sana was always impressed with strange feats like that.

“I need to get something off my chest—” Momo shook her head, “You go first,” She motioned to Mina. She pulled the eldest card, Sana could tell, with the way Momo’s words sounded firm and set. Mina would have to speak first.

“Well…” Mina blushed, “I wanted to apologize for my dumbassery from a few days ago, firstly.”

“Huh?” Sana questioned.

“Water under the bridge,” Momo shook her head, “Completely. Its not like you knew, really.”

“Okay,” Mina relaxed slightly, before looking to Sana unsurely.

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Sana was still completely lost in it all, brain still foggy. Maybe she was sort of getting more drunk than she initially assumed.

Mina sighed, rolling her eyes to Sana’s antics.

“I’m sorry, but its going to keep bothering me if I don’t say something,” Mina turned to Sana apologetically. Sana was still trying to figure out what Mina was talking about.

“Sana and I kissed.”

Oh. Oh. Sana’s stomach dropped to her toes, eyes widening. She whipped her head to Mina, whose face was burning as she stared down to the ground.

“Whoa—wait—” Momo reeled slightly, looking back and forth between the two with wide eyes, “You guys rem—” She suddenly burst out into a cough, hacking aggressively as her cheeks went red.

“S-sorry—” She pounded into her chest, shaking her head, “You…You guys kissed?”

“Um…” Sana realized just how complicated things were about to become. Because Momo was nothing short of easily predictable and she sort of had a strong inkling of a feeling of what was about to come. So the best bet was to be honest, “…Yes?”

“When did you—” Momo started before stopping, “How did—” Another stop. She shook her head, ears going red as she stared between the two. “The day I left you two alone to talk about the picture.”

“I’m sorry,” Mina sounded guilty, the same feeling Sana had been running away from since childhood, suddenly feeling like this was really all her fault and Mina had no reason to be apologizing.

“No,” Sana shook her head, “I’m the one who should be apologizing—”

“No,” Momo interrupted, “I need to apologize.” She looked to Mina, “I kissed Sana too.”

There’s the other shoe Sana was expecting to drop.

Mina’s eyes widened, Sana brought her cigarette to her lips, taking the longest drag she could manage, feeling Mina’s eyes burn into her in shock.

“…When did you two…?” Mina questioned.

“Like a week ago,” Momo was burning, “I asked her to kiss me.”

“So are you two…?” Mina motioned the space between them.

“I don’t think—” Momo shook her head, “I-I thought you two—”

Sana turned to look to Momo curiously. Momo adverted her gaze. “Wait…the conversation—” Momo realized, “The one we had. It wasn’t about Mina?”

“I—” Sana started but couldn’t even muster a proper thought, face so hot she could no longer feel the wind blowing, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Momo didn’t sound upset, just thoroughly confused, “What do you mean? You…You said you were afraid of affecting a close friendship.”

“And you assumed it to be me?” Mina tilted her head curiously, “Why?”

“Uhm, well…I don’t know,” Momo was now shrinking back, “I-I just always kind of thought you two would end up together. It just makes sense.”

“But I always thought you two would end up together,” Mina shook her head, “You and Sana. It always made sense to me, so that’s why I wasn’t trying to pursue anything.”

“You guys are talking about this as if I’m not right here,” Sana finally snipped, “I’m right here. Talk to me, talk to me. I’m the one who kissed both of you.”

The annoyance quickly disappeared the moment both Mina and Momo turned to her. Both their expressions different levels of confused and embarrassed.

“…Give me the fucking soju,” Sana held her hand out expectantly, as Momo passed it over. She took a gulp, a big one, one that might just be enough to get through this conversation.

“So…what now?” Momo asked slowly, “Why did you kiss us? Actually…I know why you kissed me. Because I asked you to.”

“You asked her to?” Mina’s tone was soft, sounding nearly touched, “Was she…?”

“She is my first kiss,” Momo confirmed, “You know…same sex kiss. And I don’t regret it,” She added quickly, “That’s not the point at all. The point is…um…I asked her to. I kind of admitted some things to her.”

Momo did not finish, looking down nervously to the ground. Sana figured it would be best to just lay it all out on the table, “…She admitted she used to have feelings for me,” Sana said quietly, this time Mina was looking up to Sana with a calm expression.

“She…You did?” Mina was staring back and forth, unsure who she was supposed to be looking at, “So…I’m right?”

“Well, not quite,” Momo shook her head, “Sana never clarified who she was talking about in the conversation we had.”

“…The only reason the whole Mina and I kissing got pushed back was because I had trouble deciphering if the affections I had between you two were different,” Sana explained, “And she said for us to wait. To just figure it out. Well…I can say with full confidence…I still don’t fucking know.” She tossed the butt of her cigarette onto the asphalt in frustration, using the heel of her slipper to stomp it out, feeling a mixture of agitation and shame washing over her.

“Satang…” Mina said softly.

“Don’t Satang me,” Sana shook her head, pinching her nose bridge, “This isn’t something to be pitiful for. This is really shameful, actually. I don’t even know how to decipher my own feelings? For my two best friends?”

“Well…” Mina’s voice went a bit more pitchy, Sana could see the way Momo adverted both of their eyes, “I…I was so patient with you about it…because…maybe there’s a chance I also might be on the same boat. Like the exact same boat. I-I don’t know if I clarified it myself. It wasn’t just slight confusion. I’m actually going through the exact same thing as you.”

“Huh?” Sana turned to Mina, “Why—why didn’t you say something earlier?!”

“I didn’t want to stress you out!” Mina argued.

“This would have made me less stressed!” Sana protested. “How long have you felt this way?”

“Um, well,” Mina’s voice went even higher, “Maybe…maybe for a while…?”

“…A while?” Momo repeated, “You mean you’ve thought about being between us—”

“Don’t finish that statement,” Mina’s tone was warning and Momo shut her mouth immediately.

“…I’m missing something here,” Sana pointed between the two, “If we’re going to figure this out, it needs to all be aired out. No more dirty laundry.”

Mina cracked, groaning slightly, shutting her eyes and holding her hand out for Sana to hand her the bottle. Sana obeyed, watching as Mina took another hearty gulp. “I might have slipped up,” Mina admitted, “When I was with Momo. I might have described to her my type. An older woman, with career-driven goals. Who would benefit in an equal partnership. Who is kind, who is sweet, who I can take care of and vice verse. Whose hair is a bit messy, who pulls it up a lot. Who has a distinct nose because I like features like that, who smells sweet—”

“Sounds like Momo,” Sana stated.

“I said it sounded like you,” Momo protested.

“I was talking about the both of you,” Mina finally confessed, “Because if I was to even remotely think about having sex with a women, when I really think long and hard about it, I can’t help but think of you two.”

“Oh,” Sana trailed off, realizing the specific wording of the confession, “I mean…I’m flattered.” She was burning so hot, “Really, really, really flattered.”

“I’m confused,” Momo buried her face into her hand, squeezing her temples, bringing her other hand up to take a drag from her cigarette, “I’m confused because its true, I did—maybe I still do—have feelings for Sana.”

“You’ve always described her as love,” Mina said quietly, ears burning red, “For as long as I can remember…she’s always been what you see as love. From her laugh, to her smile, to her actions.”

Sana’s heart swelled at the same time it twisted. Was this always doomed to end with someone being hurt? That was the last thing Sana wanted to do.

“But…what you told me,” Momo said slowly, peaking through her fingers, “About how when you think about it, you imagine either Sana or me. Or well, really both of us, but still. I…I guess I get it. Because…maybe if I think about what women I’d like to kiss, even though I asked Sana to kiss me first…I feel so comfortable with you…I wouldn’t have minded if it had been either of you.”

…An idea popped up into Sana’s mind. In her half-drunken, stressed, embarrassed, maybe slightly sexually frustrated mind.

“You two should kiss.”

Momo and Mina turned to face her, not even shocked at the suggestion, but more realizing the situation. They both carried a bit of embarrassment, but between the lines, Sana could see it, the temptation was there. With the way Momo’s gaze was lingering just a bit longer to Mina, with the way Mina bit her lip to distract herself, adverting her eyes.

“To even the playing field,” Sana explained, gently taking the soju bottle from Mina, hoping they didn’t see the shake of her hand, “Because I kissed Mina. Momo asked me to kiss her. Shouldn’t you two like…I don’t know…try it out? Because…if Mina is having the same issues I’m having…and Momo is curious enough…”

“It only sounds fair,” Mina suddenly agreed, face going pink like the color of Sana’s shampoo, “I-I mean…If Momo wants to…”

Momo stared between the two, eyes wide and brain certainly short-circuiting again, face burning like a cherry tomato. She brought her cigarette to her lips again, taking a long drag, exhaling and tossing it to the ground, stomping it out with her chair. Momo adjusted herself, turning her chair slightly, facing to Mina just a bit more.

“You know what?” Momo muttered, “Fuck it.”

“Do you…Should I—” Sana pointed to the door, “…I can give you two privacy…?”

“Is there such thing between us anymore?” Mina questioned, yelping slightly when Momo grabbed the leg of her chair, dragging her closer, till their knees touched. Sana’s heart skipped a few beats, stomach twisting at the feat of strength.

“I think you should stay,” Momo said firmly, eyes staring right to Mina, “I think I might lose my nerve if anyone so as much as moves.”

“…I can close my eyes…?” Sana was offering, even if she kind of didn’t really want to look away, watching as Mina and Momo relaxed a bit more, legs a bit tangled, Momo brushing a bit of her hair away.

“…You know what?” Mina said, staring right back to Momo, “Why don’t you watch? I know I’d kill for the same view if it was you two.”

Mina was way more brazen, Sana felt her breathing hitch and saw Momo’s confidence waver. “Jesus Mina,” Momo laughed nervously out, rubbing her face with her palm, “If only you knew how much your surprise me. I still never know what to expect out of you.”

“I’ve been told,” Mina smiled, gums showing from her nerves, “You don’t have to do this Momo.”

“I-I want to,” Momo restated, taking Mina’s hands in her own, thumbs rubbing circles, “I-I think I should live without any regrets anymore. I’m tired of them.”

“…Okay,” Mina nodded, biting her lower lip in nerves, “You’re right.”

Sana didn’t feel too much like an outsider, it was always them three against the word, for four years that is. And in those four years, Sana had learned something—she always loved watching them interact. It made her chest warm, spreading from the center to all over her body, like she couldn’t help but admire the affection Momo and Mina carried for one another. Mina had been a breath of fresh air, exactly what Momo needed when Sana got too in her head.

“So…” Momo mumbled, “How…how do we do this…?”

“Just relax,” Mina let out a breathy laugh, reached up, bringing her arms around Momo’s neck, lacing her fingers together as if to keep Momo in place. “I got you Momo.”

Momo’s eyes were still a bit wide, Sana could see she was unsure what to do with her hands still, which made sense, this was barely her second time after all. She doesn’t know where this urge came from, but Sana reached over, taking one of Momo’s hands into her own, linking their fingers together.

Momo did not flinch, Mina’s eyes carefully studied the touch, eyes shining. Sana saw the way Momo visibly relaxed as Sana held her hand, still present in the moment enough to make sure Momo didn’t lose her nerve.

Was it a bit strange? Sana thought to herself, watching her two best friends attempt to do this?

Maybe a little, Sana had to admit, feeling the way her breath grew a little uneven, as Mina pulled Momo just a bit closer, their noses brushing against one another. “You can tell me to stop, you know?” Mina offered, her thumb tracing Momo’s jawline.

“I don’t think I want you to,” Momo quietly admitted, eyes shifting up to stare right to Mina. Sana could feel the way she squeezed her hand at the confession, “I really don’t want you to stop, actually.”

Was Sana feeling an extraordinary strange flutter of emotions? Definitely, she had to admit, watching Mina’s eyes glow and Momo’s eyes twinkle, both their cheeks dusted with blush, Momo’s ears going red as well, while Mina’s neck started to burn. Sana wasn’t sure where the alcohol had ended and real emotions began, her head spinning merely from her view.

“You just tell me when—” Mina whispered, tilting her head down slightly, Sana’s heart twitched to see their lips brush, “I just want to take care of you, you know.”

“So, kiss me—” Momo whispered, and Mina obeyed.

Sana watched their lips press against one another, both of their eyes fluttering shut, both of them melting into it.

Was Sana’s entire being coming unraveled at the sheer sight of her two best friends kissing right in front of her?

Definitely so.

Its an enticing sensation, even if Sana wasn’t in the direct line of it, because she was watching in pure detail the little observations about the two, which had always been Sana’s specialty. Mina’s lips were leading—Sana could tell by the way Mina pressed her lips just a bit harder than Momo, who seemed to be more comfortable adjusting than forcing her own preference. When they kissed, Mina’s upper lip was on top, she was the one who was directing this. Which made sense, Sana’s face tingled, because Mina was the exact same way with her, knowing exactly how she wanted it to go with a surprising amount of confidence.

Momo was shyer, she was definitely more new to this, Sana could tell by her expression. She was melting into it just as much as she was reeling from it, her shoulders slowly relaxed the longer they kissed. Sana doesn’t know why she didn’t let go of Momo’s hand, still holding it tightly. Momo’s other hand found a spot on Mina’s shoulder, holding it with a grip meant to keep herself anchored.

…And Sana knew the exact moment they started to lose themselves in it, because she remembered the exact same moment between kissing the both of them. Momo and Mina were always the more reserved ones, Sana did everything 100%. They both pulled away, lips disconnecting for a brief moment, Momo looked up to Mina first, so close their noses still brushed. Her mind was reeling, Mina stared back to Momo with a dazed expression, her eyes glossy.

Mina pulled Momo back in again, but Momo was more than willing, their kiss now a bit more forceful, just in the same manner Sana had felt with Mina, but even she could tell Mina was restraining herself slightly for the sake of Momo. She could hear Momo’s breathing going a bit unsteady, slowly losing herself just a little bit more.

Sana felt like she could see everything, absolutely everything. Their blush, the way Momo’s hair was getting more messy from Mina’s hands. Sana could feel the way the air was growing warmer, emitting off both of them. She could hear and see their breathing shifting. Mina’s was going uneven—Momo’s was getting pitchy. Sana felt like she wasn’t even on earth anymore, face burning probably even worse than the actual two kissing. She could see everything and it was so much to take in, because Sana was beginning to understand she was getting a sort of pleasure at this, watching Mina open her mouth a little bit more, deepening the kiss. Knowing full well Mina had wanted this for ages, and Momo was discovering it at the same time.

What really sealed the deal, though, that made Sana understand she was way more screwed than she realized, was the sound. She knows exactly when it happened, because Mina was bolder because she was buzzed and tired, which might have just been the best and worst mixture to exist. She saw the way Mina nipped at Momo’s bottom lip. It was experimental, it was subtle, Mina was just going with what she saw fit—she wasn’t entirely unexperienced, she was actually a very skilled kisser. At least, according to Sana’s criteria. She had a whole list.

…Maybe Mina was a little too skilled, because the moment Mina nipped at Momo, the sound that came from the back of Momo’s throat was absolutely criminal. And sure, Sana was definitely getting turned on from this in some sort of strange way, she could have been completely fine watching the two kiss for hours, and find some sort of pleasure at the interaction. But she wasn’t expecting Momo to do that—a very whiny, high-pitched moan, momentarily losing herself entirely within that action.

Momo pulled away immediately, Mina did not protest, her eyes wide in definite surprise. Momo’s eyes were wide as well, face burning, slamming a hand over her mouth, gripping Sana’s hand so tight she thought Momo could break her fingers. Sana’s own breathing was ragged, she barely even noticed, too busy focusing on the pool of heat that had dropped right between her thighs, closing her legs to try to save herself the embarrassment.

All three stayed silent, the wind blowing but quite honestly, Sana doubts she’d be able to cool off anytime soon.

Mina’s lips were red like Momo’s lipstick, Momo’s lips were swollen, Sana was looking between the two, feeling way too many things to even try to manage out a coherent sentence. Momo’s ears were burning just as much as her face, Mina’s breathing was still trying to even out. Sana can't recall any time she's ever felt this strong surge of emotions, sitting between them in their most flustered states she's ever been allowed to witness. That kind of sight can get to a woman's head, really. Sana felt they both looked most beautiful like this.

“I—” Momo’s voice cracked high, before she cleared her throat, “I-I think I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight.”

“Okay,” Sana nodded immediately, “…I think we’re all drunk.”

“Totally,” Mina agreed, eyes still glazed, “Way drunk.”

“I think…” Sana breathed out, those images burning into her the ridges of her brain, stored somewhere where Sana never wanted to forget about them—Momo’s whine, Mina’s lip bite, everything, “I think I need to go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Momo agreed, “I think we all should.”

“Yup,” Mina nodded.

They did not move just yet. Sana doesn’t know when Mina had taken their hands together, but in her peripherals, she could see the way their fingers laced together, mirroring Sana and Momo’s. Momo and Mina did not hold hands, but their legs remained tangled, knees knocking together. The breeze was blowing, and it was going to take Sana a long time to actually feel it again.

Chapter Text

April 11th, 1995. Approximate time, 9:19 PM

Sana’s heart was pounding, it felt as if it wanted to rip out her chest, she could feel the way she was gripping at the counter until her knuckles turned white.

Mina finished her story, the bottle of soju was now nearly empty, there was a tense silence so thick Sana felt as if she could cut through it with one of Momo’s knives.

Her brain was running a thousand miles an hour, unable to slow down as Sana absorbed the details of the tale, looking back down onto the picture sitting between them. It was now completely crumpled, Sana could see the way the film was beginning to rip. She stared at it—at her professor, her ex, the dangerous ex. The one who she thought she was in love with, the one who she thought was obsessed with her. On his knees, looking so weak and desperate.

“You…” Sana could not find the right words, “Mina…you blackmailed him?”

“A bit,” Mina didn’t even try to dance around it, “I guess, in a way, I did.”

Sana thought back to that time. “…He did have pictures,” She quietly admitted, arms crossing to stop herself from shivering, “He took some. When I was pinned against the wall, with his tie stuffed in my mouth. Bent over his desk.”

“I wouldn’t have known,” Mina said quietly, “We burned those pictures.”

“I was always afraid of what came out of them,” Sana admitted, “They crossed my mind every semester, I dreaded that something would come out of it one day. Nothing ever happened.”

“Which is what I wanted,” Mina confirmed, “For him to never be able to get to you ever again.”

“…Why?” Sana scoffed, still in a state of shock, “Why would you go through all that trouble for…for me? I was some friend you had just met?”

“Maybe I’m just insane—” Mina admitted calmly, “Maybe I hated the idea of someone having ownership over someone like that. If I think about it more, it killed me to think someone was out there hurting you. I saw how much it hurt, I saw how much Momo shouldered in silence. I wanted to destroy him—I wanted to make him beg. We both know I’m fully capable of handling myself in these situations, but, I just did what I needed to do. If I had been a bit more braver though, and a bit less young, I would have probably done worse. I would have made him hurt even more. Because of what he did to you.”

Sana suddenly realized what it meant for someone to obsess over her, just a little bit. For Mina to fervently build this concoction of a plan—to flirt with a man she had zero attraction to. To dive that far into a dangerous zone—to get him of his knees. Mina was always kind of like that, calculating and always watching. She was always the one to match Sana’s energy. Except…Mina would have taken this to the grave if she could, for no reason other than she didn’t want Sana to worry.

“Mina…” Sana sighed, her heart pounding and her cheeks burning, “…That was fucking stupid.”

“I know,” Mina said quietly, wholeheartedly agreeing but not a single ounce of regret in her tone. Like she was already prepared to stand her ground, because Sana loved the rules and Mina was more than happy to bend them.

“…No one has ever done something like that for me before,” Sana continued, taking a step closer, blood coursing through her body, making her run hot, “No one has ever done something as fucking insane like that before, for me.”

“Don’t be mad,” Mina pleaded, “I was 17 and really fucking angry.”

“I’m…I’m not mad,” Sana took another step closer, the space between them shrinking, “You’re a virgin, right?” It appeared her mouth was going on its own in this.

Mina’s face was very confused. “I am,” She said slowly, “I promise, I didn’t have sex with him. I never planned on it. Again—we both know I can handle myself if needed.”

“Your first time should be with someone you trust with your entire life,” Sana confirmed, blood coursing through her veins and feeling her face flush, head spinning, “But, I can’t lie, I really want to know how deep your fingers can go.” Well, there goes Sana’s attempt to not speak out her deepest desires.

Mina let out a small noise of confusion, obviously thrown off at Sana’s confession, face beginning to turn a strong shade of pink.

“…What?”

“I won’t,” Sana swore, “I definitely won’t cross that line.”

She took another step, until Mina was pressed against the edge of the counter, Sana using her arms to hold herself up, on either side of Mina. She could smell Mina’s minty breath—she could smell Mina’s cologne and that permanent addicting sweetness she carried. Mina was frozen, but Sana could see it, the way her eyes couldn’t tear away from Sana’s lips, her face only burning darker.

“But—” Sana bit her lip, “But what if I said…I want to kiss you,” she announced, “I really need to kiss you.”

“I—” Mina stared up the slightest bit, their noses were bumping, “…Okay.” There was not a hint of doubt in her singular word.

“Is that okay?” Sana questioned, feeling her heart throbbing in her ears and only able to focus on the glint of Mina’s lips, bringing her hands up to cup Mina’s face.

Mina only hummed, Sana could see the way her breathing hitched the slightest bit.

“I need you to answer me, Mina,” Sana repeated, their foreheads bumping, she could practically feel the brush of Mina’s lips against her, a ghost of a feeling, enough to send shivers down her spine. Like lightning—she could imagine Mina would compare it to that. Her and her damn weather obsession. At this moment, thinking about Mina’s weather obsession was making Sana feel way more hot and bothered than it usually did.

“Mhm,” Mina hummed, her voice high and tight. She watched as Mina nodded her head, tilting her head up slightly.

Sana didn’t waste another moment, crashing their lips together, letting her eyes flutter shut. It was like they already memorized the rhythm to a dance they both knew but never quite learned together. Mina’s lips matched Sana’s fervent energy, she pulled Sana closer. Sana felt the way one of Mina’s hands tangled in her hair, holding her firm, while the other wrapped around her waist, holding her by the small of her back, right on the curve.

Mina’s hands were so cold they felt hot, like they were burning the strip of skin on Sana’s back from where her tank top rode up slightly. Sana was entirely overwhelmed by the presence of Mina, her slightly swollen lips, the feeling of her lip gloss. She was overtaken by the smell of Mina’s cologne, it was driving Sana insane how badly she had longed for this.

Sana really did try to pull away, feeling just how intense the energy was, feeling like she was going to lose herself in this moment and change the idea of their friendship in more ways than one—so she pulled away. Tore her lips away from Mina’s, even if she really didn’t want to, pulling back enough to see the way Mina’s eyes opened, as if she was also losing herself in the moment. Mina didn’t let her go just yet, holding onto her as she stared to Sana with wide eyes.

Mina’s face was burning beneath Sana’s palms, her eyes were dazed, definitely losing herself within the heat of the moment. Mina was nearly panting, Sana wondered if she had even breathed the whole time.

“I—” Sana tried, but was cut off, when Mina leaned in again, tilting her head up and pulling Sana against her body, pressing another kiss against Sana’s lips. Sana didn’t bother trying to stop it—she wasn’t against it at all, surprised that Mina was so quick to reciprocate, relieved she wasn’t the only one trying really hard to not push it further.

What she wasn’t expecting was the way Mina turned them around, twisting to pin Sana against the counter. But instead of feeling her back slam into the rigid edge, Sana felt Mina’s hand. She had pressed her palm against the spot, awaiting Sana’s force, letting her hand cushion Sana’s back instead. And it was such a small gesture, something is miniscule it might have been overlooked in any other given occasion. But it was Mina—who always looked out for Sana. Who covered the edge of the table when Sana was picking something up, who helped remove her coat every single time.

What she also wasn’t expecting, which made everything all the better just as much as it made it worse—was the way Mina suddenly wrapped her arms around Sana’s waist, gripping with an especially tight hold, pulling her flush against her body. She wasn’t expecting Mina to suddenly lift her—placing her to sit on the countertop, planting herself between Sana’s legs. She couldn’t stop the moan coming from the back of her throat even if she tried. Sana didn’t even bother trying though.

Then Sana’s last line of defense—her nerve, was starting to scatter, badly. Almost painfully so, because Sana had never seen this side of Mina. For being a fucking virgin, Mina was taking the lead in this way more level-headed than Sana was feeling. Her head spinning, her body running hot, only able to focus on the way Mina’s lips were taking control of the course of this. Holding her against the small of her back, her hand tightening slightly in Sana’s hair, tugging the slightest bit as she pulled their kiss even deeper. Sana’s stomach dropped in fluster, feeling the way Mina’s tongue was just barely brushing against her own, and Sana also couldn’t (and wouldn’t) stop the small noise that rose from the back of her throat. Pure desperation coursing through her body, letting her hands tangle in Mina’s hair.

And it was crazy to see where Sana ended up, sitting up on the counter, Mina being the one to have pushed this even further. In the middle of their apartment, the apartment they lived in with Momo. Sana wondered if Momo knew this is what was going to come out of this, she wondered what exactly would happen if Momo walked in—it made her heart skip a beat and fall out of sync for a moment.

Sana momentarily wondered if Momo was going to come home at any moment—then her fervency completely dissipated when the name ran through her mind once more. Momo.

Momo. The dam that Sana had built suddenly cracked.

She pulled away, eyes wide in realization at just what exactly was happening. It seemed Mina had a similar epiphany—both of them pulled away and put some space between them.

“…What are we doing?” Mina breathed out, looking like she was starting to come back into reality, eyes looking less glossy. Lips swollen now, cheeks burning red with her hair just a bit messy. She still held onto Sana, one hand on the small of her back the other in her hair, cupping the back of her head.

Sana’s arms were now resting on Mina’s shoulders, they were so close Sana could feel Mina’s breathing against her own uneven breaths.

“I don’t—” Sana stuttered out, “I don’t know.”

They stayed silent, Sana couldn’t bring herself to tear away, locking eyes with Mina, feeling just as thrown off and jarred at how quick they came apart the moment their lips met.

“I think…we got carried away,” Mina said slowly, dragging her hand down from Sana’s hair down her neck, down her back, till she was holding Sana by her waist, as if trying to keep her steady. And it kind of worked, Sana was feeling a bit more grounded. What she really needed was to splash some cold water on herself, to shock her brain back into normalcy. Because the thoughts she was having were definitely not of the norm that Sana should have about a friend. The way Mina’s hands felt against her were definitely not friend-friendly. They were actually making Sana think the most unfriendly thoughts about them. In a non-friendly manner.

“…I think so, too,” Sana agreed, brushing away lint stuck on Mina’s t-shirt, trying to distract herself, “It was a lot of high emotions right now.” She could see the way her hand was quivering just like her insides felt.

“…I’m sorry,” Mina apologized, “I shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

“I mean I don’t think it was bad—” Sana weakly protested, “In fact, it was really, really, really good—”

“…You think I was good at that?” Mina raised a curious brow, cheeks going lightly pink again at the suggestion.

“You were—” Sana tried to find the right words without sending Mina or her into shock, “That was a really good kiss.”

“Wow…” Mina looked a bit more confident, “Thanks.”

“Let’s just…” Sana pinched her nose bridge, “Let’s just put this on the back burner—for a moment. I-I need to…”

“Sort it out?” Mina finished the thought, as if she knew exactly what Sana was referring to.

“…Yeah,” Sana agreed quietly. “I think…I think I have a lot going on in my mind right now.”

“When do you not?” Mina gently teased, and it felt like the last five minutes hadn’t happened at all, her tone just as affectionate as it would be on any normal day, “Your brain never stops.” And it would have felt mostly normal, minus Mina still slotted between her legs, and the ache in Sana’s stomach not quite dying down yet.

“I-I’m just kind of confused right now,” Sana sighed, wrapping her arms around Mina again, holding her close. But this time, Sana just needed the affection, the gentle touch. Mina seemed to catch on to this, pulling her a bit closer again, letting their foreheads rest. Sana could feel Mina’s eyes looking up to her, “I think…” Sana trailed, “I think I’ve been confused…for a few years now. But now I have no choice but to think about it.”

Mina did not respond, but Sana could see the way the gears in her mind were processing and piecing Sana’s words together

“Can we just—?”

“You need a hug?” Mina asked, pulling her in, and Sana rested her chin onto Mina’s shoulder, breathing in all the reassurance that belonged to Mina. Even if emotions were high, and Sana’s brain was split into two, she relaxed. She relaxed under Mina’s touch, feeling the way Mina gently rubbed her back, up and down, just the way she always did when Sana was way in over her head.

They hugged, Sana wasn’t quite ready to let go, holding Mina tight.

“Sana,” Mina’s voice was right by Sana’s ear, sounding crystal clear, “…Does this have anything to do with Momo…?”

Sana felt her chest constrict, her heart twisting in all the wrong ways. Mina’s voice was neutral, but that meant her reaction could be anything—

“I—” She tried.

“I’m not angry,” Mina seemed to read her mind, because Mina was always so good at reading Sana like an open book, “I’m just curious, Sana. Do you…like, think about Momo—”

“Mina,” Sana found herself whining slightly, wrapping her arms around Mina’s neck again, heart pounding in her ears, “I don’t know what you—”

“Do you…” Mina leaned in a bit closer, like trying to crack a secret not meant for anyone else, hands now resting on each of Sana’s clothed thighs, her fingers burning through the material as if they were actually on Sana’s skin, “Like…think about Momo? In the context of—”

Sana’s heart was now certainly going to stop beating. “…The context of what?” Sana whispered, afraid of her voice being too loud that someone might hear.

“…This,” Mina sounded just as nervous, close enough that Sana could feel their breaths mixing, running hot inside and out. Mina’s question landed heavy—heavier than even when Nayeon brought it up. She felt her skin itch, feeling somewhat sticky and hyperalert but painfully afraid. Then Sana’s brain started mixing it all up all over again—Mina’s eyes and Momo’s hair. The smell of their perfumes.

Sana swallowed nervously, from the proximity and from the other thing. She opened her mouth, unsure exactly where it was going to lead her.

Her statement was lost, when they heard the front door rattling, Sana’s heart nearly stopping (even if that was technically impossible—at most her nerves were getting the best of her, but it really, really felt like it.), because Sana had no other option for who it could have been except the one person she wasn’t sure she was ready to confront just yet.

“Son of a bitch—” Sana could hear Momo’s grumble because she was most likely struggling with the key like usual. She felt the way Mina’s own body tensed, locking eyes with one another when they realized just the position they were in. Sana had never been the best with thinking quick on her feet in these situations, so amidst the panic, rather than simply letting Mina back away from her, Sana threw her arms and legs around Mina and held her even tighter.

“Sana—” Mina hissed, not angrily but more in panic, as Sana flung herself off the counter. Usually, Mina would have been able to handle the weight, Sana was the lightest of them regardless, but maybe it was the position or the adrenaline, but Mina completely locked up. Sana sent them both tumbling down to the ground just as the door fully opened up.

Sana had the decency to at least feel guilty, when she realized Mina took the brunt of the fall, landing flat on her back while Sana landed on top of Mina.

“Hello…?” Momo’s voice confusedly called out.

“Why would you—?” Mina whisper-hissed but Sana was already scrambling off, till she was a safe distance away and Mina could only stay on the ground, slightly dazed.

Sana couldn’t even think, only looking to Mina pleadingly. Mina stared back, eyes expressing a mixture of understanding and maybe something like pity—before she sighed quietly.

“…Down here,” Mina mumbled, sitting up to bring her knees to her chest. Sana braced herself, staring down to her hands holding onto her knees, hands still trembling. Momo’s heels clicked against the floor, till Sana could see her figure through her peripherals. Sana buried her face into her knees.

“Everything good with you two…?” Momo’s voice seemed to cause a quick reaction to Sana, suddenly feeling her throat tighten and her eyes water. She buried her face further into herself, curling up, but that hardly did anything to soothe her. Because Sana could smell Mina’s cologne and her sweetness mixed in, and a part of her wished she had kissed her again, really, really badly.

The other half was for some reason feeling extreme amounts of guilt. Sana heard shuffling, feeling a body sitting right beside her. Momo.

“…We’re okay,” Mina’s voice sounded way more assured than they felt moments ago. Sana wondered where Mina became so steady in her voice, “I think it was just a lot for her to take in at once.”

“Ah, Satang~” Momo nearly sang out, her voice a mix of sentiment and bittersweetness, “Don’t cry.”

Sana couldn’t help the tears, she didn’t realize how rigid she went until she felt Mina gently tug her wrist. Sana took the hint, slowly lifting her head up, and Sana could see both Mina and Momo watching her carefully.

“I’m sorry—” Sana managed out, wiping away as many tears as she could, “I don’t even know what the hell is going on anymore.”

“Just breathe,” Mina whispered, “We’re here. Both of us, yeah? Right, Momo?”

“C’mere,” Momo opened her arms, offering Sana everything she needed right now. Sana was quick, launching herself onto Momo’s offer, wrapping her arms around Momo’s waist, feeling so much more stable at how little Momo moved at the weight being thrown. Momo wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tight. Because Sana liked weight when she was stressed.

“You can just hug her tightly,” Momo said out loud, and it took a few seconds to realize that she was talking directly to Mina, “I don’t know if it was ever told. She likes pressure when she’s stressed.”

“Oh,” Mina said, her voice sounding like she just connected another piece to a puzzle Sana didn’t know existed, “I’ll remember that.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner, Satang,” Momo gently said to Sana, looking down to her, as Sana just wanted to bury herself into Momo’s chest, “I don’t…I don’t even know the full story, if I’m being honest. I just…” She bit her lip unsurely, looking over to Mina.

“Mina?” Sana looked over, offering an arm out, “I need you too, right now.”

Mina’s arms remained crossed, her eyes widened slightly at the offer. Sana could see it in her eyes, the slight waver of doubt, as if she wasn’t sure she could cross a small boundary. But honestly, Sana didn’t care. Mina could cross any boundary and Sana doesn’t think she’d ever disagree with it. In fact, Sana was pretty sure she’d jump at any chance to cross anything. That’s the part that terrified her.

“I need you both,” Sana clarified, “Just…please?”

Mina let herself be tangled in their hug, squished against Sana, as Momo wrapped her arms around both of them, tightly.

And Sana felt a lot more calmer now that Mina was in the picture. She felt the way Mina took her hand, lacing their fingers together as they always did. It felt…normal. The closest to normal Sana was going to get out of this very jarring, very sexually charged, very confusing experience.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be upset,” Momo admitted quietly, when they were both close to her, and her voice was right between their ears, “Because you’d feel bad someone would risk themselves like that for you. But…when Mina told me kind of what she did, I knew I had to cover for her.”

“Because it was borderline illegal?” Sana lightly joked, even through her tears. Mina’s laugh was light and airy.

“It was incredibly illegal actually…” Mina clarified, “Don’t discredit me.”

“Oh damn,” Momo sounded just as surprised as Sana felt, “I guess it was bad. But regardless…she did it to defend you. That’s why I agreed to not say anything—because it was for you, Satang. I’m just relieved I later learned she can handle her own if it really came down to it. And nothing has made me happier to know someone else out there wants to protect you, even when I can’t. Which…feels more often than I want to admit.”

Sana could feel more tears welling up, burning her eyes.

“Fuck,” Sana could only manage out, squeezing her eyes shut, burying her face somewhere between Momo’s chest and Mina’s hair, “I don’t…I don’t think I deserve either of you, much less both.”

“I did it because I wanted to,” Sana could feel Mina’s hand on her back again, “I did it on my own accord. For you. You didn’t make me do anything.”

“And I like being with you,” Momo added, “I always do Satang. You’re one of my favorite people in this whole world.”

Sana’s brain wanted to explode. “Can we just?”

“Stay like this?” Momo completed her statement.

“For just a bit longer?” Mina added, as if they both knew her like the back of their hands, and they kind of did. And that’s what made this whole thing much more confusing for Sana.

Sana just nodded, feeling both Momo and Mina hold her tighter.

Chapter Text

April 24th, 1995. Approximate time, 10:12 PM

Momo was feeling a lot more…comfortable, lately. If that was even the right word to use.

She doesn’t know exactly why. Maybe it had to do with her finally admitting a few things that needed to be said. Maybe it had been weighing her down more than she realized. For years, Momo kept a lot to herself. Maybe it was more than she realized, having grown used to the weight of the baggage resting between her shoulders.

Dating guys was so easy, they were strong and it felt…easier to go about that process. They smelled like cologne, they had calloused hands, they were firm. Momo could very easily imagine herself falling in love with a man if she pleased. She’s had sex with men, most of the time, it was pleasurable, she supposed, not all of them were always going to be able to hit the mark. But she had been with enough of them to know she enjoyed having sex.

Women…Momo never liked to think about it. Call it a flaw if you wished—but the sheer thought of seeing a woman in a sexual manner freaked her out. Romantically, well…Momo supposed she understood. Of everything in her life, a piece of her had always thought her and Sana were going to end up together. How it would work, Momo was unsure, but the idea was always there—because sometimes, she felt tempted to just kiss her. She felt tempted to just press her lips against Sana’s lips, her cheeks…maybe even her neck. But anything further than that—it was like Momo’s mind went to static, to a channel that wasn’t even connected. Like the outlet was there, but the plug had slipped and fallen out at some point, so the connection wasn’t where it needed to be.

And maybe it had to be the trauma. Actually, if Momo was being entirely honest with herself, that’s definitely what it was. It had to have been the perpetrator, the issue that stopped Momo from actually delving into it. When she met Mina, it wasn’t hard to admit Momo found her to be absolutely beautiful. It wasn’t hard to admit, because Mina was exactly just that. Incredibly stunning, with soft skin and a soft voice. She smelled like the colognes Momo thought only men wore. Then Momo realized maybe she just liked the smells and not necessarily the man typically attached to them. Then she realized Sana’s hands were calloused from years of writing papers, small peeling callouses over her fingers and palms, and Momo figured she just liked the feeling of them, and not really the man linked to them.

And Momo had been tempted by Mina, too. She had been tempted to lean in, letting Mina kiss her softly, because Mina’s lips looked soft like clouds, and Mina was always so protective. But Momo never thought too much about it, because the more she thought about it, the more she would lose her nerve, and the fear and the pressure would start to make her crack.

But she felt like she was getting better, she had kissed Mina’s hand without really thinking in the morning—she had never been the one to make Mina flustered. But Momo was surprised, seeing Mina jump slightly at the action, face turning as red as the tomatoes Momo’s boss make her chop.

“Um…” Momo realized just what she had done, “…Was that okay?”

Mina was a lot better at handling it than Momo was. “My, my Momo,” She smiled, through her blush and shyness, “Look at what you’re doing to me.”

And that gave Momo some sort of strange sensation in her chest, making her straighten up a little more and feel a smile curl on her lips that just wouldn’t quite go away.

It was night now, Momo had come back from her restaurant later than usual—she was subjected to punishment for not cooking or plating something to the quality it needed to be. What the mistake was, was beyond Momo at this point, getting annoyed with just how many “mistakes” the head chefs insisted she kept making. She was forced to stay after to deshell shrimp and crabs for preparation for tomorrow—so Momo also felt like she reeked of the salty ocean and sweat. Mina had long gone to sleep, Momo could tell with the way the living room was empty, a blanket crumpled on the ground, which she must have dropped amidst her tiredness.

Momo threw off her shirt, tossing it on the ground because she didn’t need her and Sana’s room reeking of pesky fish. She momentarily wondered if Sana was in their room, but her question answered herself when she heard the wind from outside blowing lightly.

Slowly walking her way to the balcony door, Momo saw Sana’s figure again, sitting on one of the patio chairs. Her hair was clipped up in a claw clip, pieces and strands sticking out in odd ends. She had a cigarette, the smoke blowing away with the wind once again. Momo appreciated they had the balcony, all of them tended to go outside to smoke them to not make the apartment reek. She even noticed Nayeon had a tendency to come over just to smoke, to not disturb the air Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Yunjin, and Taehyun breathed.

Sana was smoking, staring off onto the view they had. It wasn’t the best—but it wasn’t the worst either. Momo could see some of the city lights shining, the stars were a bit more visible, but nothing could ever really beat the view from Sana’s backyard back in Japan. Momo noticed Sana’s glasses were on the table, Sana wasn’t actually looking at the view. She only really took off her glasses to think, to really think without the distraction of vision.

Momo opened the door slowly, she could hear her radio playing a light tune, it appeared Sana brought it outside to fill some of the silence. Sana turned her head immediately at the sound, her cigarette about halfway smoked, giving Momo a light smile.

“Hey,” Momo greeted curiously, closing the door behind her, “Its late.”

“It is,” Sana confirmed, “I wanted to wait for you to come home.”

“Did you guys eat?” This was always Momo’s first question of concern. She pulled up the other chair, dragging it to be a bit closer to Sana.

“Leftover stew,” Sana confirmed, her nose scrunching slightly in amusement, “Don’t worry. Mina wanted to actually sleep tonight, so I made sure she ate. Or else you would’ve dragged her out of bed.”

“Eating is important,” Momo scolded lightly, blushing because Sana wasn’t too far off from the truth.

“Long day?” Sana questioned, taking another drag from her cigarette, “You don’t usually get home at this hour.”

“Ah, yeah,” Momo nodded tiredly, bringing her hand to her head, rubbing her temple, “Nothing crazy. But just inconvenient.”

Sana watched Momo carefully, Momo could feel her eyes taking her in, up and down. Sana reached out, holding her halfway smoked cigarette. “You look like you need this more than me,” Sana lightly teased, but kept her hand out in the offer.

Momo and Sana weren’t strangers to sharing things—food, clothes, cigarettes. But something about this felt a bit different, because the way Sana held the cigarette, Momo felt as if Sana wanted her to take a puff before handing it over.

“Its yours,” Momo tried for a moment, even if it looked incredibly tempting because her nerves were at an all-time high, “You look like you need to finish it too.”

“Take a drag,” Sana insisted, it was a losing battle on Momo’s part because she never really liked to say no to Sana. She leaned in a bit closer, offering the filter end to Momo, “I’ll even hold it for you.”

I wouldn’t want to say no anyway, she thought to herself, leaning in, taking the end into her lips, feeling Sana’s fingers brush against her face. It was light, barely a ghost of a touch, but Momo shivered slightly. It felt as if her senses were at a much higher sensitivity lately, such as when she listened to Mina’s light humming while she prepared a snack for herself in the kitchen. Or when she could smell Sana’s perfume, such as now, as the wind blew and Momo could just smell the reassuring scent of cherries and strawberries.

She took a drag, breathing in the tobacco and feeling her muscles unclench the slightest bit, unable to look away from Sana’s very intense stare. Wide and dark in the night, observing Momo like a statue, unmoving. “Thanks,” Momo blew out, the smoke blowing away, “I think I do need the rest of it.”

“Take it,” Sana repeated, pressing the cigarette back onto Momo’s lips, waiting for her to take it back. Momo complied, Sana seemed satisfied enough, letting go and letting Momo do the rest herself.

“Why are you out here anyway?” Momo questioned, looking over to how Sana was overlooking the horizon, knowing full well she couldn’t make out any of the shapes or specificities.

“Just…here,” Sana shrugged, voice very quiet and a silence took over them, as she continued to stare off. The radio still played, Momo studied Sana’s features. Her slightly tensed jaw, her cheeks slightly rounded still, because even with age Sana’s baby fat was refusing to leave. Her nose was sharp, her lashes full, her eyes a bit tired. She slowly blinked, the breeze gently brushed her hair away.

“You only come out here without a book when you need to think,” Momo pointed out, “What’s bothering you?”

Momo knew Sana was overthinking something. She usually always was, always so lost in her endless sea of thinking that Momo felt like she had just only dipped her toes in. Momo also knew Sana already had a feeling Momo would catch on, because Sana has had this habit since childhood. When she would sit outside in her backyard, in the middle of her lawn, with nothing but maybe a toy to fidget with. And for the longest time, Momo wouldn’t ask what was going on. Sana knew too many words for her to keep up with, but she knew Sana liked the presence. So, on the nights Sana needed to really think, Momo would just sit with her, outside, unmoving. Staring up at the stars with Sana because her house had the best few on the block for some reason. Like the stars shined brighter just for her.

But Momo was older, and Sana deserved to be able to talk with someone, instead of being doomed to her own silence.

“Just things,” Sana shrugged again, bringing her legs up to her chest, curling into the chair. She was wearing a pair of Momo’s pajama pants, Momo could tell they fit her a bit bigger because Momo has always been the curvier one, “School, studies…other things.”

“What other things?” Momo questioned again, leaning against the arm of her chair to be a bit closer to Sana, “Talk to me.”

She could see Sana wavering, weighing her options on whether she should talk to Momo about whatever was bothering her. Momo couldn’t really hold it against her—sometimes, Momo had to admit she wasn’t equipped for certain topics. Relationship advice wasn’t always her strong suit, her immediate answer was always to break up, because she felt no man (or woman, really) could ever really give Sana everything she deserved. She had no issue guiding Sana in relationships with men—women though…

“Is this like something you might have an easier time talking to Mina about?” Momo questioned, knowing that there was just some things she couldn’t fully delve into.

Sana laughed slightly, brushing a few strands from her face and tucking them behind her ear, “I kind of already talked to her about some things,” She admitted, “And she kind of encouraged me to well…talk to you.”

Okay, now Momo was a bit more confused. “So…is there something that I’m doing wrong?”

“No,” Sana lightly shook her head, looking a bit tired but smiling in reassurance nonetheless, “It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”

“So, then what’s the problem, then?” Momo questioned again, burning out the butt of the cigarette onto the ashtray, wiping her hand against her slacks, not really caring about the state of them at the moment.

“I don’t—” Sana sighed out, letting her eyes close and leaning her head back. Momo could see the strain in her neck, the way her collarbones looked very appealing in the warm light of their balcony. Sana took another deep breath, Momo watched her chest move up as she inhaled, breathing out through her nose and opening her eyes again. She hadn’t quite looked back to Momo, still looking up to the sky, but Momo could see the way her eyes flickered over slightly.

“…I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say,” Sana finally admitted, “I think I’m about as lost on this as you are.”

“That’s okay,” Momo shrugged, trying her best to reassure Sana in the only way she knew how, “We don’t always have to know everything. I know I don’t know a lot, so maybe I’m a bit more used to it than you are.” Sana let out a small breath of a laugh, shaking her head slightly.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Sana disagreed, “But tell me, Momo. What do you do when you don’t know something?”

“Well…” Momo thought for a moment, taking Sana’s hand carefully into her own. They always held hands, but something about Momo’s senses being heightened made this action feel different. There was this innate doubt that Sana would reject her, Momo is unsure where this doubt came from. But of course, Sana didn’t pull away, Momo can’t even imagine why she ever would. Sana’s skin was soft, small callouses rubbing against Momo’s palm from her years of endlessly writing. Her fingers were a little longer than Momo’s, her skin was always warmer though. “I look to you. Or Mina.”

“…How come?” Sana asked curiously. Her thumb was rubbing circles over the top of Momo’s hand, Momo was now much more acutely aware of this action. Goosebumps started to raise over her arm, which Momo was slightly embarrassed by—but she probably could blame it on the breeze.

“Because I think you two are the most intelligent people I know,” Momo said simply, because it felt like pure fact to her by this point in her life, “Even if I don’t upright talk to you two about it—I ask myself, what would Sana do? What would Mina think? I like to try to think that, because I think of all the options, you two would pick the best ones.”

“I think you give me too much credit,” Sana chuckled, though she did not sound humored at all, “I make a lot of mistakes.”

“Maybe so,” Momo shrugged, “I mean, I’ve seen some of the people you hook up with…I wouldn’t exactly call them diamonds in the rough—”

Sana’s laugh sounded a bit more genuine. Maybe Momo was doing something right.

“But, you always admit when you’ve been mistaken,” Momo added, “Something a lot of people don’t do. Including myself, sometimes. I know I can sometimes dig my heels into the ground about things, real simple things too.”

“Its just who you are,” Sana whispered affectionately, “Stubborn Momoring, who always listens to jazz when she cooks and hates all the lights in the kitchen to be on at the same time.”

Momo smiled back, feeling her ears burn just a bit at Sana’s teasing, knowing the pure adoration hidden between the lines. “I like to look to you two,” Momo continued, “Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t learn how to adjust to change.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re breaking standards at an academic level,” Momo pointed out, “You have always been open to learning new things. New languages, cultures, studies. Every time something new changes, you are always ready to adjust your thinking. You never try to hold onto something that’s been proven wrong, even if you’ve believed it for so long.”

“And well Mina—” Momo snorted, “I mean she’s learning, what? A whole other culture, too? From America to Japan to South Korea. And somehow, I’ve hardly ever seen her stutter. She goes in head first, and even when everything in her life was shifted, she kept a solid head on her shoulders.”

“She really did, huh?” Sana’s eyes were a bit distracted, but Momo could tell she was soaking up every word Momo was speaking, “She does have a good head on her shoulders. She’s impulsive…but sometimes I forget she’s the youngest.”

“And I feel bad for it,” Momo admitted, “That I kind of broke down the way I did in front of her.”

“Why would you feel bad?” Sana was now looking to Momo with a mixture of concern and protectiveness.

“Because I’m supposed to be the oldest,” Momo pointed out, “I’m supposed to be the grounded one. But…I don’t think I’m very grounded. That’s why you two are my inspirations. Because if I didn’t look to you and Mina for change, I don’t think my life would have gotten to the point its at. I think…I think I would have just kept everything the way it was. Even if it wasn’t good, because I really don’t like change.”

“Yet here you are,” Sana looked to Momo with encouragement, “On an apprenticeship, in a new country.”

“Because you believed in me,” Momo said with as much genuineness as she could give, squeezing Sana’s hand gently, “Because you showed me what it meant to adjust to change.”

Sana’s eyes looked like they wanted to cry, shining and shimmery. Her lower lip pouted slightly, but she looked like she was doing everything in her power to not break at this moment. Momo felt like she wasn’t necessarily saying the wrong thing, but whatever she was saying was definitely striking a chord with whatever was bothering Sana.

“…Can I be honest with you?” Sana asked, voice a bit quiet.

“You can tell me anything, Satang,” Momo reassured her.

“This…this thing that’s kind of eating away at me…I guess you could say it has everything to do with change.”

“That fucking sucks,” Momo said flatly, “I really hate change.”

“I know you do,” Sana laughed a bit, sniffing to try to keep herself from crying, “Which…I guess I can understand. I love learning, I love learning new information. I love to read the newest published articles, I love knowing that things are always advancing.”

“But there’s…one thing…in my life, that I’ve always tried to keep the same,” Sana admitted, “Because I never wanted it to change.”

“Why wouldn’t you want it to change?” Momo asked.

“Because I don’t even know if it was ever meant to change,” Sana tried to word it very carefully, “My thoughts started changing, my feeling sort of started changing…but at the end of the day…I don’t know if it was supposed to happen that way.”

“It sounds like a relationship,” Momo wasn’t the brightest of her friends, but she was far from dumb, “Have you been talking to someone?”

“Uhm,” Sana blushed red, “I wouldn’t say—”

“Its okay if you are,” Momo quickly tried to reassure her, Sana and relationships had been a very scarce thing after her last explosive relationship when she was 18. Momo can’t even recall if Sana ever tried to pursue a real relationship after that, “I’m the last person to judge, honest.”

“Let’s say hypothetically its that,” Sana said slowly, “Hypothetically, if I was friends with someone, and I feel like our bond is very strong and I like the way our bond is now and I know they also feel the same way…why do my feelings have to change?”

“I mean, sometimes it can’t be helped,” Momo shrugged, “You can’t help waking up one day from the next and starting to think they look extra beautiful in the moonlight. You can’t help that change happened—its like when your favorite bakery closed down.”

“Oh god,” Sana groaned, “I was so upset to learn about that.”

“Yeah and if it were up to me I would have just stopped eating taiyaki completely,” Momo snorted, “Because we were 12 and I only had ever been there. But, even in your upset, you decided instead of just giving it up out of stubbornness, we’d spend as long as it took for us to find another place just as good, if not better.”

“And we did,” Sana smiled at the memory, “A year and a half later—”

“On the other side of town,” Momo added, “But you know what? It was better than the first place. And I didn’t care if the bus fare was a pain, I loved to go there with you every week.”

“But we only got there because things had to change,” Momo explained, “Even when I didn’t want them to. Now…I’m not saying its going to work perfectly. I don’t know how this person is, I don’t know if there’s even a chance. But its you, and anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“You really think so…?” Sana questioned, her eyes looking doubtful, frowning a little.

“Of course Satang,” Momo insisted, “Why wouldn’t someone want to jump at the chance to be with you? You’re…You’re everything— you’re funny, beautiful, intelligent, caring—anyone would be lucky. Anyone should want to jump at the chance.”

“And even if you get turned down,” Momo placed her other hand over their already linked hands, cupping Sana’s hand carefully, “Shouldn’t it be nice that you even tried? At least, that’s what I tell myself when I’ve been rejected. At least I was able to experience butterflies, even for just a little bit.”

“What’s the thing Jihyo always says?” Sana questioned, “…tis life?”

Momo laughed, knowing exactly what Sana was saying. “She does, doesn’t she?” Momo grinned, “Its kind of a good way to see it though. Tis life. It just happens.”

Sana smiled again, looking a bit more relaxed but still a bit distracted. “I think what stresses me out is the risk of losing this friendship entirely,” She admitted, lips pulling into a frown, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost someone so precious to me.”

Momo wanted to question this further, sure, Sana was a bit prone to attaching on too quick, burning too fast. But the tone she was using, the distance in her words, it was as if it felt like there was a lot more riding on this. As if Sana had known the person for much longer than a few months. As if the bond was so dear to her, she might lose herself if she lost it.

Momo had no other choice than to think it was Mina she might be referring to. Who else has Sana been so close to, and hold so dear? Who else could make Sana be this in her head? Mina was everything Momo thought Sana would like—reserved, a bit impulsive. Having this ability to keep up with Sana’s endless affections and energies. Always trying to take care of her, and it made complete sense to Momo.

Then she thought about how she kissed Mina’s hand a few days ago, how nervous f Mina had been, how affectionate she became after and Momo felt a weird mixture of guilt. Had she known, she wouldn’t have gotten that curious about that. But Mina made her as comfortable as Sana did, and Momo was sort of figuring things out all of a sudden and tackling them head on.

She also thought about kissing Sana on the cheek—she kind of knew exactly where that had come from. Because just in the same way Momo liked how Mina gave her flirtatious attention, Momo liked to be as affectionate to Sana as Sana was to her. But the guilt only doubled, because if Sana was having conflicting feelings towards Mina, she didn’t want her presence to be a worry. She wanted to support it, she wanted Sana to know nothing would change, she had a feeling even if Mina rejected her (though she could not fathom that possibility) Mina wouldn’t treat her any different. She cared far too much about their friendship to change that.

“I doubt you’d lose this person,” Momo shook her head, “If this person is meant to be in your life, they’ll stay. Through the change, through the confusion, even through the awkwardness.”

“You say it so confidently,” Sana deflated, “How?”

“Well, nothing changed with Mina,” Momo watched Sana’s expression carefully, “She held me, she told me it would change nothing. I was still me, I’ll always be just me. She even jokingly flirted with me, because she knew I didn’t want anything to change, and that was the best feeling ever. To know her knowledge adjusted, and she still maintained normalcy. Because she has always been so good at adjusting.”

“She’s pretty great, isn’t she?” Sana questioned, voice very neutral, “I’m starting to feel like I’m a bit more immature than I realize.”

“You’re just learning,” Momo shrugged, “You’ve always been good at that.” A thought popped into Momo’s brain. A small thought that she kind of always had bubbling for years, but never liked to bring it up. But at this point, with everything changing, with Momo trying to understand that piece of herself more, trying to adjust, maybe it would be important to actually get it out there.

“You’re saying you’re afraid of how they may react,” Momo gave Sana’s hand a tug, making sure her attention was solely on Momo, “Because you don’t want to lose the friendship.”

“Yes,” Sana weakly nodded.

“What if I told you something?” Momo offered, “Because I trust you, and even with all this change, we still are here, together, close. And I have full confidence that you’ll still be here, even after I tell you this.”

Sana’s face was mixed with morbid curiosity and a bit of concern. But Momo knew Sana would never turn away from learning anything new, she could even tell in this moment, with the way Sana’s eyes were glistening with the thirst to know.

“I thought I knew everything there was to know about you?” Sana said carefully.

“Well, like I said, I’m bad at change. So sometimes, I just let the thoughts sit in my head. And I don’t want you to do that, so I’m living by example.”

“Okay…” Sana got up, letting go of Momo’s hand for a moment. She grabbed her chair, turning it around fully to face Momo, sitting down again. Their knees knocked together, before Sana brought her legs back up to her chest, curling into the chair again. Momo smiled at her effort to try to be nonchalant, grabbing her own chair and scooting it closer as well, just a bit more. “I’m all ears,” Sana decided, reaching out and taking Momo’s hand again, lacing their fingers together.

There was silence, Momo was now starting to realize just what she was doing. And it was starting to become nerve-wracking—she has no idea how Mina does this shit without a second thought. Leaning in and kissing them on the cheek without thinking, dancing around carelessly, hugging them and holding both of them close. She was just now realizing just exactly what she was getting into, and there was no way she could back out now. Even if Sana would be understanding, who had always been careful about Momo’s boundaries. But Momo wanted to actually be there for Sana, more than she had been in their lives. She wanted to prove a point too, something she felt Sana really needed.

“Damn…” Momo chuckled out, leaning forward, resting her elbow to her leg, bringing a hand to her face, “Hang on….this is actually kind of embarrassing.”

Sana smiled a bit more gleefully, laughing slightly while Momo tried to push through her nerves, “You don’t have to Momoring,” She was quick to reassure Momo, “Really.”

“No, no,” Momo insisted, “I want to. I need to. Because I want to prove it to you, and because maybe you deserve to know.”

“Well…take all the time you need,” Sana said carefully, “I’m always here.”

“You always are, huh?” Momo smiled, feeling calmer because well, it was Sana.

The radio played, Momo decided to focus a bit more on that, looking at Sana who was resting on the chair. Wearing Momo’s white pajama pants with a rose pattern all over them, wearing a simple white camisole, her collarbones exposed. Her hair clipped up but falling out slightly, her eyes shining with curiosity and patience, smiling lightly as Momo gathered her bearings. Her lips shining because she had just licked them out of stress, no makeup on her face, so Momo could see her exhausted bags. Sana was always beautiful, Momo could never stop thinking that, even after seeing this woman’s face for years straight.

“I think…” Momo finally tried to explain, choosing her words carefully, “I think I support you trying to admit these feelings because…I think I may have avoided feelings towards someone too, for a very long time.”

Sana blinked a few times, expression looking confused.

“And I think my chance has long since gone,” Momo shrugged, “If there even was one. But its okay because I’m just glad to be in this person’s life still.”

Now Sana was invested, eyes widening slightly, leaning forward a bit more, as if trying to catch all of Momo’s words without missing a beat. “What stopped you from telling him?” She asked, “I can’t remember a single guy you never admitted your feelings to.”

Momo blushed, pursing her lips, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks and ears. The breeze was blowing but it hardly did anything to cool Momo off. “I think there was a lot of reasons I never did anything,” Momo admitted, “From being very young and confused, to feeling like the timing wasn’t right. To being very afraid, because I had never thought about that before. And I know I was afraid because of my own issues, because especially when I was younger the sheer idea of pursing something like that scared me into panic…because she’s special to me, even to this day.”

It was like Momo could watch the gears in Sana’s head turn in real time. The moment she drew a slight breath, inhaling sharply at the very specific choice of pronoun. The way she straightened up slightly, watching Momo with a surprised expression.

“…She?” Sana asked, nearly breathless, “You didn’t have many girl friends when we were younger.”

“I didn’t,” Momo agreed, locking eyes with Sana with as much seriousness as she could give, feeling her heart pounding nearly out of her ribcage, “And I think my circle is small enough you might be able to figure it out before I even finish.”

Sana stayed quiet, eyes still wide, glued to Momo without even flickering. Her attention was fully to Momo, steady and anchoring. As if she didn’t dare try to guess, waiting for Momo to catch up instead.

“…A part of me always thought it was going to happen, eventually,” Momo admitted, not really saying specifics but motioning between the two of them, “You know? Us? Because, your love has always been greater than trivial things like gender. And I was afraid I was going to never learn what it was like to love, ever. But you changed that. And we were—well, are, best friends. So it felt fitting.”

Sana’s eyes were watering now, glittering more intensely the longer Momo spoke, Momo could pin the exact moment Sana really got it, really understood what Momo was saying. She blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay, bringing a hand to cover her mouth, though Momo was unsure if it was from shock or something else.

“But—” Momo clicked her tongue, “I was afraid. And nervous. And well…traumatized. You know how it was. And so I never budged. Because I didn’t want to lose you, and because well…I was unsure. I’ve never given myself the opportunity to explore that possibility of me, because every time I even so as much as thought about it—I felt everything all over again.”

Tears were now fully streaming down Sana’s face, running over her hand, dripping down to Momo’s pajama pants. Momo doesn’t even know when her own throat tightened, but it did, she could feel it when she nervously swallowed, the lump forming. It felt a lot less like nerves and a lot more like guilt, a feeling Momo always tried to run away from. But maybe it was good to feel it sometimes, like the guilt Momo felt for keeping this away from Sana for so long. Not even for the chance to be with her, but because Sana didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark about something like this.

“But its okay,” Momo quietly added, “Because I’ve just been happy to be in your life in any way I can. Because I know we’re going to be together for a long time. And because you should be with someone who makes you happy—who matches your energy and can be affectionate with you in the way you love.”

“Momo—” Sana finally managed out, wiping away a few stray tears, “…Where is all of this coming from?”

“I don’t know,” Momo chuckled, feeling her own eyes grow wet, “I’m growing up, I guess? A few years too late, but…Mina had some good points. I’m me, I’m always me. I was me before, during, and I’m still me after. I…I guess I want to really live my life, somewhat. At least to give myself the grace of trying to understand who I am. Because I’m choosing to.”

“Oh, Momoring—” Sana croaked out, chuckling slightly, shaking her head in disbelief. Her chuckle turned into a giggle, before going into a full blown laughter, loud and a bit insane. Momo watched her carefully, as Sana covered her face with her hands, shaking her head, her shoulders tense.

“Are you okay?” Momo questioned quietly.

“…Did you like it?” Sana suddenly asked, eyes a bit bloodshot, peeking from her fingertips.

“…Did I like what?”

“A few days ago,” Sana lowered her hands, “When you kissed my cheek.”

Momo’s eyes widened at the memory, feeling her blush only burn hotter. “Oh,” She burned, “Uhm…well…yes. I did. More than I expected.”

“How come?” Sana asked.

“Because…” Momo was struggling, feeling a heavy wave of shyness wash over her, somehow this was more difficult to discuss than the other major thing, “Because it was you,” She deduced, “Because your skin is soft and you run warm, which is nice because I’m always cold. Because I love the smell of your shampoo, strawberry scented, and the smell of your perfume, cherry tobacco, which is funny because you smoke, so you don’t need the tobacco. But it suits you. And because…I liked seeing you get a bit shy…”

Sana’s face looked how Momo’s felt. Everything burning—her neck, her ears, her cheeks, even her nose, a mixture of embarrassment and tears. Her eyes looked a bit darker, darker than her normal color—were they dilated? It was hard to tell with the poor lighting.

Momo figured she wasn’t looking any better, feeling her skin burning and her hand shaking slightly by her side. She crossed her arms, trying to maintain coolness, feeling like her heart was going to pound out of her chest, right onto the palms of Sana’s hands.

“Momo,” Sana choked out, “Can…Can I be honest with you then, too?”

“I trust you,” Momo managed, even if her voice somehow became shaky, “I always do Satang.”

“…There was so many times I wish I had kissed you,” Sana stated.

Momo’s heart felt like it had already pounded out of her chest, feeling her stomach twist up in a flurry of emotions she had never really experienced before. “But I didn’t,” Sana trailed off, “Because the last thing I ever wanted to do was become what you feared the most.”

Momo sat, as Sana looked away, adverting her eyes to look elsewhere. Even though Momo knew fully well that Sana couldn’t actually see anything except Momo’s face clearly without her glasses. Momo let the words sink in, soaking up as she tried to make pure sense of them. And it began to click together, word by word, moment by moment. Momo understood, the implication of Sana’s words.

“…Do you still want to?” Momo blurted out.

“…Want to what?” Sana asked quietly, looking to Momo slowly.

“Kiss me.”

“I—” Sana stopped herself, mouth opening and closing a few times as if a bit jarred from Momo’s question. In all their years, Momo thought she had seen pretty much everything there was to know about Sana. But she had never really seen her like this, shy and nervous like a schoolgirl. She had only witnessed as Sana reacted to others like this, never directly her. And maybe it was a bit brash, for Momo to ask this, but the adrenaline was pumping and if she didn’t dive in right now, Momo felt like she never would. And the small sliver of possibility was enough to make Momo’s head spin. Even if she wouldn’t end up with Sana at the end of it, because Mina had always felt like the best option for Sana, she had always been the best choice, Momo could admit that.

“You can be honest with me Satang,” Momo quickly added, when Sana seemed to be struggling, “Yes or no. You’re still Sana and I’m still Momo.”

“…Yes,” Sana’s confession was echoing in Momo’s brain, she sounded so relieved to have finally said that out loud.

“If any woman was going to be my first kiss,” Momo sat up, feeling a bit bolder, “It would be you, Sana.”

“I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable—” Sana’s voice was full of guilt, the same feeling Momo had take over her life for years.

“You could never,” Momo took Sana’s hands into her own, bringing them close to her chest, “If you still wanted to Sana….if you still think about it…I’d be more than honored to ask you to kiss me.”

Sana’s eyes widened. “You…you want me to—”

“Kiss me,” Momo repeated, brain switching from fully aware to pure static, using every piece of her willpower to remain present in the moment, “…If you want to, of course.”

“Are you—” Sana tried.

“I’m sure,” Momo interrupted, “I’ll even say it exactly as you want me to, because I know the last thing you want is for me to regret this. I can promise you…I can’t even imagine ever wanting to take this back. If I could choose anyone to be the first woman I kiss, its you. It would always be you.”

Sana squeezed Momo’s hands, scooting closer until her legs were back down, their knees knocking together. Their legs always tangled when they cuddled, it was normal, it was routine.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Momo asked, “You can always say no.”

“I—” Sana sounded strained, like she was pushing past her own guilt in the same way Momo was too, and maybe Momo realized they were a bit more similar than she realized. Because they were both carrying more guilt they than cared to admit. Momo wondered how long Sana had been holding that in, all those years left unsaid, “I do want to kiss you,” She finally pushed out, like admitting a deep dark secret she had tried to lock up.

“You can,” Momo reassured, “You can.”

“O-Okay,” Sana was just as shaky as Momo, both of them twitching a bit uncontrollably, riding high on nerves and adrenaline. She dragged her hands out of Momo’s grip, Momo was now in completely new waters. This was beyond her knowledge, this wasn’t kissing a guy. This was a whole new realm, and Momo watched as Sana reached out, cupping Momo’s face in her hands. Momo could feel Sana’s tremor, she could feel how cold her skin was against Sana’s warm palms.

She could feel Sana’s finger lightly trace the shape of her jawline, Momo felt the goosebumps rising down her spine and arm, her breathing hitching slightly. Sana observed Momo, her eyes shining in pure care, taking in everything she could just in the way Momo was absorbing everything she could about Sana. Her messy hair, the few strands still over her face. Her flushed cheeks, her puffy eyes, her long lashes, her reddened nose. Her lips—her beautiful pouting lips, permanently left in the shape of curiosity, exactly who Sana was.

“I’m going to kiss you—” Sana announced breathlessly, leaning in just a bit more. Till their noses bumped, and Sana stopped herself, even her eyes remained stuck on Momo’s lips, “Is that okay? Do you want this, Momo?”

Momo also couldn’t tear her eyes away from the movement of Sana’s lips, but she managed, tearing her eyes away to look directly to Sana’s gaze, locking eyes with her teary sparkling light brown eyes. Momo’s hands instinctually rested on Sana’s knees, gently grazing the material of her pajama pants to get out some of the excess nerves.

“I do,” Momo agreed, and she didn’t even realize she was leaning in a bit more, until she could feel Sana’s hands urging her to stop for a moment. Right as their breaths mixed against each other, and Momo could feel how hot Sana’s breath was. And it was…attractive. Incredibly so, Momo could feel her heart somersaulting and her stomach twisting up, the pit of her stomach growing warmer.

“You can be honest,” Sana whispered out one more time, her words nearly just breaths, “I just want to make sure.”

“I want you to kiss me,” Momo repeated, even through her nerves she had never felt this 100% about anything, “I want you to kiss me, Sana. Kiss me.”

“…Okay,” Sana finally caved, her eyes fluttering shut, and Momo could feel the way their lips finally met. Warm and soft, so much softer than the men she had kissed. Like clouds or something reassuring and feathery, warm and tender. Momo had never felt this much tenderness in a kiss. Most men she had been with had an agenda, a specific desire to get to one specific end goal of getting in her pants. They were dominating, aggressively so, controlling every movement to ensure it ended up exactly how they wanted it.

This was different, Sana wasn’t dominating, she wasn’t controlling. She was melting into the moment, completely content with letting their lips figure out how they wanted to be, caressing Momo’s face with extreme compassion. Momo’s senses were full of Sana, her glossy lips and her perfume, her lips kissing hers with light movements, Momo didn’t even realize she had tilted her head until the kiss deepened, she could feel how heavy Sana’s breathing had become.

And Momo was so caught up in the moment, she seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. Her heart fluttered, as she pulled away, still so very close to Sana’s presence, foreheads pressed together, noses bumping. Sana’s eyes shot open, eyes wide and lips now looking a bit more plump, slightly stained from Momo’s lipstick. They locked eyes, Momo can’t even remember when she had brought a hand to grab Sana’s wrist, holding her tightly, the other still holding her knee.

No words were spoken, too much running through Momo’s mind to try to decipher it. She reached up, hand still shaking beyond control, brushing Sana’s cheek, cupping her face in the manner Sana was doing to her. Sana’s pulse was strong, Momo could feel it under her fingertips, a bit fast, a bit nervous.

Using her thumb, Momo brushed Sana’s lips slightly, just barely dragging the corner, shivering as Sana melted under her affection. Like she had longed for this and was barely letting herself enjoy it.

Momo tilted Sana’s head slightly, bringing their lips together once again.

Sana did not pull away, In fact, she seemed to kiss Momo even deeper, breath stuttering as she tried to keep herself collected through her nose, feeling the puffs of air on her cheek. Momo’s head was spinning, so full of everything Sana, and it was so, so, so tender. So loving, so full of nerves and care Momo had never felt this amount of love before. Or at least something close to it. Sana’s lips felt so good on hers, they moved in a sync Momo didn’t even know they had, but it was easy to find and easy to follow.

When Momo felt like she wanted to get lost in the kiss, that’s when she realized she needed it to stop. She pulled away again, Sana did not protest. They were silent, Momo could only stare at Sana, seeing her so full of everything Momo, and it was making Momo’s fingertips go numb. Momo’s adrenaline was coming down, her body ached. She was tired, exhausted even—Sana had to have been on the same boat.

Everything felt different, but it remained the same.

“You’re beautiful Sana,” Momo brushed a few strands of hair from Sana’s face, tucking them behind her ear as she always did, “Always have been. Always will.”

“Thank you,” Sana whispered, their foreheads still resting together, “For trusting me.”

“I’ll always trust you,” Momo said, feeling dizzy, “But I think I want to like…sleep on the couch.”

Sana did not waver. “I get it,” She nodded understandingly, “But I can go to the couch Momoring.”

“No thanks,” Momo shook her head, “I need to like…cool off.”

“Okay,” Sana did not protest, “Then you take the couch.”

“…I’m going to sit out here for a bit,” Momo decided, “The breeze is what I kind of need right now. I know you’re exhausted.”

Sana’s eyes were shining with so much affection, Momo wondered how she could store it all, “Rest well Momoring,” She whispered, tapping Momo’s nose as she always did, scooting away on the chair, creating a bit of distance between them.

“You too, Satang,” Momo whispered back, leaning back onto the chair as Sana collected her glasses, holding them in her still shaking hand, giving Momo a tender expression.

She shut the balcony door behind her, and Momo was alone.

Her head spun, her body a mixture of panic and pleasure. Everything felt so right, in her mind and her heart, even if her body kept insisting it was wrong. And Momo knew what this was, it was the trauma of it all. She knew this, because while women had always been a challenge, men weren’t. But that didn’t mean Momo didn’t feel this way at certain times, when men gripped her thighs too hard, or became too demanding. The moment Momo felt like she wouldn’t have a say, the panic settled in. This is why Momo chose to be as strong as she became, because in the chance there was a danger, she would sock the shit out of them.

Of course, sitting here in the night, shutting her eyes to let the nerves dissipate, she was aware Sana would never do that to her. And maybe that’s what had become so scary about it—Momo trusted her.

Everything was different, but nothing would change, this Momo was sure about. She just needed to let the panic leave, doing the breathing routines Sana had shown her, repeating Mina’s words over and over in her mind as her body tried to reject it.

She was Momo, she is Momo. Always has been, always will be. And nobody could take that away from her. And she just kissed her best friend, and while this should have changed everything, that seemed to be the only thing to keep her grounded.

Chapter Text

March 18th, 1995. Approximate time, 5:54 PM

“Jeongyeon?” Sana questioned, seeing the older woman standing at her front door, leaning against the frame, “What are you doing here?”

“Momo talked to me before she left,” Jeongyeon held up a metal box that rattled at the movement, “Asking me to do some maintenance on her truck.”

“Oh!” Sana perked up, grabbing Momo’s keys she left. Momo’s truck wasn’t in the worst condition, but there was definitely things that needed to be fixed. Sana read lots on it—had an idea on what exactly needed fixing. The actual fixing part though…

“Yes,” Sana nodded, “I can show you where her truck is if you’d like?”

Jeongyeon was a beautiful woman, this wasn’t anything undiscovered. Sana felt the way her cheeks grew a bit warm, seeing the way Jeongyeon weighed her options for a moment. She had chocolate colored brown hair, it was healthy and silky, a bit messy but pretty nonetheless. It reached just past her shoulders, but in this moment, she had it pulled up, Sana could see the gray scrunchie peeking through, a few of her bangs tumbling out. She had a leather jacket, wearing a simple black thermal underneath. She wore denim jeans, a leather belt, and Doc Martens. Very worn out but sturdy still, Sana could imagine the amount of work she had to do in order for her shoes to look as worn out as they did.

“Care to join me…?” Jeongyeon offered, “I could use the company.”

Sana thought she was great company.

They walked down the hallway to the parking garage in a comfortable silence, the outside breeze was still crisp, but Sana never really got cold like that. Her university sweatshirt was thick enough, maybe even a little too thick, because Sana truthfully basked in the cold, feeling the air nip at her nose, twitching slightly.

“And here she is,” Sana motioned to Momo’s 1986 gray Mazda, which had certainly seen better days but still running strong.

“Ah,” Jeongyeon observed the vehicle gently, vision wavering a bit, “So this is her, huh?”

Sana only stood proudly, letting Jeongyeon take her moment. “Crazy,” She chuckled lightly, brushing some hair from her face, “This truck saved my life. Its crazy. How life moves.”

“A bit strange, isn’t it?” Sana questioned softly, giving a reassuring smile, “Take all the time you need.”

“You know,” Jeongyeon absentmindedly ran her fingers over a few scuffs the truck had collected over the years, “Its weird to know you knew about a piece of me before I even knew who you were.”

Its profound, Sana can feel her heart skip a beat at the vulnerability of it all, but Sana is aware she shouldn’t go into tangents about it. Instead, she nods slightly, thinking about what Jeongyeon just said. “Your blood—” Sana whispered as Jeongyeon continued to study the truck, “It was everywhere in the bed of it. We had to help her take it the next day at the self-wash.”

“Eugh,” Jeongyeon scrunched her face in mild disgust, “That’s gross.”

Sana giggled slightly, “It was just a thing,” Sana shrugged, “Momo is the most squeamish with it, ironically. The one who was there when you needed it—but by the next day she stayed in her truck while Mina and I scrubbed what we could.”

“Sorry,” Jeongyeon sounded genuinely apologetic, “I really wasn’t planning on bleeding that much.”

“What even exactly happened?” Sana couldn’t help but question, while Jeongyeon unlocked the truck, popping the hood open. She watched the older woman open the hood, as tall as it could go, hooking it up to stay in position and beginning to open her toolbox on the ground beside her.

Jeongyeon had a momentary look of confliction, as if debating whether to engage in this conversation. Of course, Sana wouldn’t push it if explicitly told not to, but before she could tell Jeongyeon this, the woman spoke.

“I was coming back from fixing some electrical issues at the non-profit hospital they have in the rural area,” Jeongyeon calmly explained, already beginning to unscrew a piece that Sana distinctly remembered from the manual. Spark plug.

“I stopped for gas at a seedy looking station. Honestly I should have just kept driving but then I figured I would’ve gotten stranded. Kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t type of situation,” Jeongyeon continued to muse, “And in there I—“ She stopped suddenly, eyebrows knitting together.

“Everything okay?” Sana questioned. She could see her breath in the air.

“Just…I didn’t think about whether its my business to share so much,” She muttered, “Long story short—I got tapped by a fucking idiot on the road and I was flung,” Jeongyeon continued, “It hurt like hell. But I lived, stitched up, skinned, but alive. And Jihyo had her babies that very day.”

“I heard her birth was also extremely traumatizing,” Sana spoke softly, now right beside Jeongyeon as she switched out the spark plugs.

“You’re telling me,” Jeongyeon scoffed lightly, her bangs swaying, “I was dead asleep the whole time. In surgery of course but…I can’t imagine what Nayeon was going through.”

Sana let that information sink in.

“Ah, but enough about me,” Jeongyeon shook her head, trying to keep the conversation casual, “Tell me about yourself, Sana.”

It sounded more like an order than a suggestion, so Sana felt a strong need to listen. Perhaps because Sana was just like that with older figures—or maybe because Jeongyeon was quite frankly extremely intimidatingly pretty.

“There’s not much to know about me,” Sana shrugged, watching Jeongyeon begin to observe the truck’s battery, “Born and raised in Japan. I love learning a little too much.”

“And Momo?”

“What about her?”

“Hand me the wire cutters?” Jeongyeon held her hand out while Sana shuffled through the toolbox, “And just—how did you two meet? She’s your longest friend, no?”

“Oh yes,” Sana grinned brightly, feeling her heart grow warm, “We’ve been friends for the better half of over ten years— I’ve known her for twelve to be specific. We met when we were ten, she was a new student in my class.”

“Twelve years?” Jeongyeon gave a low whistle, eyes a bit surprised, “Well shit, that even surpasses Nayeon and I’s relationship.”

“Ten years, yes?” Sana grinned, “I guess you could say I’ve always enjoyed being ahead of the game.”

“So before I even met my soulmate,” Jeongyeon reminisced, “You were already developing your longest relationship.”

“It seems so,” Sana mused, “Its hard to explain…it just felt so…natural? Like, I offer her a barbie sticker as a sort of adolescent olive branch—she’s in awe. Then, she came to dinner at my place, and it almost felt like she never really left. Or at least, I saw her everyday after that. Never missed a day.”

“I think its cool,” Jeongyeon mused, “Having a best friend before anything else. I mean, I know I’m lucky—Nayeon is my best friend—but its always been an uphill battle to make friends cause its just so easy to fall back onto her. She always catches me, you know?”

“Well,” Sana thought long and hard, “You could say Momo is something more than a best friend to me.”

Jeongyeon raised a curious brow, tilting her head slightly. “Has Momo been having trouble starting her truck up?” She absentmindedly asked, taking a glance to the battery.

“A bit,” Sana nodded, “I thought it was something with the starter.”

“Nah,” Jeongyeon shook her head, “The wiring from the battery looks corroded. I can just snip the dead ends and replace the clamps—that really should solve the issue.”

“Oh?” Sana was curious now, peeking over, she could smell the leather from Jeongyeon’s jacket, worn out but beautifully used. She caught a whiff of mint and eucalyptus—Jeongyeon pointed to fading green-tinted flakes collecting around the terminals of Momo’s battery. Corrosion, Sana noted into her brain, feeling herself observe it thoroughly.

“You always take this long to check something out?” Jeongyeon teased slightly. Sana blushed.

“I like to see,” Sana argued weakly, “I’ve never seen corrosion on a car battery. How did you learn about it?”

Jeongyeon shrugged, “I lived in a car for a few years when I was young. That car’s long been in the dump—but I needed to keep it alive for as long as I could, you know?”

Something about Jeongyeon’s casual comment about something very un-casual made Sana perk a bit. It was becoming increasingly obvious to notice the similarities between Jihyo and the two who took up the mantle to raise her. Nurturing seemed to play a very huge role in their dynamic. She could see the way Jeongyeon squirmed a bit, blinking a few times as if processing what she said.

“Sorry,” She said stiffly, “That’s not really chill conversation information.”

“No, no,” Sana shook her head immediately, “Don’t apologize! I love learning—in any way I can, really. Books, stories, people.”

“Its just been a bit,” Jeongyeon admitted, “Talking to someone closer to my age—a woman much less. This is more Nayeon’s thing, you know? I’m great at doing favors—” She motioned to the car.

“I’m happy just to hang around,” Sana smiled, “I’ve been told I’m great company, I’m great support too.”

“…Support?”

“Kitchen duties,” Sana blushed, “I’m not allowed in the kitchen.”

Jeongyeon made a small expression of confusion, “Because…?”

“I’m a bit accident prone,” Sana admitted shyly, “God forbid I pull another accident I did when Momo and I were 16 and I accidentally dropped a knife right through her foot.”

Jeongyeon’s jaw dropped. “You what?!”

“It was an accident!” Sana clarified, “Sure, it resulted in stitches but I was wholly apologetic—of course, Momo set a pretty strict boundary that I’m no longer welcome in the kitchen when she’s in there. I can’t really blame her, because even before the whole foot thing I did a bunch of other shit, like once when we were 14 I totally lost my train of thought and tried to reheat leftovers in the microwave while it was still wrapped in aluminum. I didn’t like…burn the house down but I did destroy the microwave—it was then I remembered the form of heat that’s used in microwaves—electromagnetic waves—can’t penetrate through metals. Pretty foolish of a mistake I have to admit. Then, there was the time when we were 13 and I was adding sliced thai peppers to the pan my mom was using. Momo had gotten some of her hair in her eye, and I brushed it out of the way—you can imagine how that went—”

“Should I really be trusting you beside me next to heavy machinery?” Jeongyeon half-joked, half-seriously questioned, Sana noticed how she was already clipping off one of the old clamps, wearing a pair of heavy gloves to brush away the corrosion.

“As long as I’m not asked to help,” Sana held her hands out, “I think we’ll survive.”

“I’m surprised Momo even gave you so many chances in the kitchen,” Jeongyeon chuckled, Sana watched the way she flicked her head slightly, trying to brush her bangs out of the way, “No offense but I would have banned you after the pepper incident.”

“Momo is just like that,” Sana shrugged absentmindedly, “Always so sweet. Especially to me. She always gives me more chances than I deserve, I think.”

“Is this just about the kitchen?” Jeongyeon questioned, looking to Sana with a glint in her eyes.

“Mostly,” Sana mused again, she greatly appreciated Jeongyeon seemed very fine with her long-winded explanations. Of course, Sana had caught on Nayeon and her were a bit the same in that aspect, so this really was probably nothing Jeongyeon hadn’t already experienced. “I think there’s been lots of times I wish Momo would just yell at me. I know it sounds strange, but I wasn’t the easiest teenager to handle. Lots of sneaking out, lot of partying. Lots of boyfriends and a few girlfriends, lots of fast burning and passionate encounters. Momo was so, so steady through them all. She always held me the same, because each heartbreak felt wholly real to me—even the one night stands and small flings.”

“Oh, so you’re the passionate one,” Jeongyeon gave a knowing look, “The one who falls too fast?”

“You could say,” Sana agreed, “Of course, I was young and I just wanted to be in love, you know? I wish Momo would have told me to just get my shit together. She’d never though, you know? She’s the actual definition of patience is key. Always waiting, always letting me be me. Holding my hair back way more times than I needed to do for her. Carrying me back through my window—”

“You were wild,” Jeongyeon chuckled, “Is it a nerd thing? So much in your brain you need to physically alter your state of mind to have a good time?”

“Funny enough, I’ve read a few articles about the idea that high IQs sometimes mean the desire for more stimulation—” Sana couldn’t help herself, it was so easy to ramble to Jeongyeon, “The need for intellectual stimulation can in fact drive us nearly mad. I’ve heard Nayeon was a bit of a wild card in her younger days, correct? Mina as well, but well, she’s sort of a different case but maybe there’s a trend here.”

“And Momo?” Jeongyeon asked curiously.

“I think Momo is so smart,” Sana sighed wistfully, “I know there’s more than just what ever the standardized test tells you. I could never do what Momo does. Her functional fixedness is nonexistent—”

“Functional what?”

“The phenomenon in which people cannot look past the use of objects aside from their intended purpose,” Sana explained, “I would have never assumed Momo’s car issue was the battery terminal, you know? I know the car starts with the starter and that’s it. Of course, that’s a super crass explanation but the idea remains.”

“I mean,” Jeongyeon shrugged, blowing a few strands of hair from her face, “The car is just the whole complete project. Everything else is like a puzzle piece—you save a lot of money when you learn to look at every little piece instead of the whole thing.”

“Momo’s like that too, you know?” Sana reminisced, “Like when I was trying to get ready for an important presentation and the dryer broke down, my dress was still soaking. I thought I was fucked but Momo simply took out my hair dryer and laid out my dress. It was still kind of damp but it worked you know? I could never think like that. I’m a bit set in my ways unfortunately.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Jeongyeon took off her gloves, setting them back into her toolbox, “Everyone thinks in different ways. That’s why friends exist. But…you said Momo is something more…?”

Sana felt her ears burn. “I-I mean more like…” Sana struggled to find the right words, “She’s not just a friend—but I wouldn’t say something like sister either…”

“So she’s what?” Jeongyeon sounded a bit mirthful.

“She’s…well she’s Momo,” Sana expressed, feeling a bit breathless, “She’s amazing in the kitchen, she’s so, so strong. I know she made herself that way, I guess being her longest friendship gives me much more insight. I love her so much, I want nothing but the best for her—are you okay?”

“Sorry,” Jeongyeon sighed, “I’m not used to my hair—” She motioned to her long strands, too short for her ponytail, too long to not be in the way.

“Oh!” Sana perked, reaching into her small bag she loved to carry with her, full of essentials. Cigarettes, lighter, coin purse, breath mints, pens—hair barrettes. She thought for a moment, looking to Jeongyeon.

“May I?” Sana asked carefully, holding a few in her hand as Jeongyeon stared to her with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity.

“…What are you planning?” Jeongyeon questioned, sounding hesitant but leaning in regardless. Sana grinned, reaching up and pushing Jeongyeon’s overgrown bangs away from her face, using the green barrette she chose to clip them back. With a snap of satisfaction, Sana grinned excitedly, taking out her compact mirror and opening it up.

“Ta-da!” Sana couldn’t hold back her excitement, seeing Jeongyeon stare at herself with a morbid curiosity.

“…Green hair barrettes?” Jeongyeon’s tone was light, a bit breathy, as she reached up and let her finger brush over one.

“Yup!” Sana smiled, “You seemed to be struggling with your hair. I’m assuming you haven’t had it this long in a while—lucky for you I’ve always kept my hair a bit on the longer side—sometimes I consider cutting it shorter but I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. Hair barrettes are an essential.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever owned any,” Jeongyeon chuckled, still staring at herself in the mirror. Studying her appearance, and Sana was struck with another mishap of being set in her ways. Jeongyeon was still a woman, just like Sana. Her presentation was a bit different, Sana was wearing one of Momo’s flannels, it was oversized and made her feel even smaller, while Jeongyeon wore a nicely fitted leather jacket that may or may not have seen better days. But they both couldn’t help but stare at themselves in the mirror Sana carried around. Jeongyeon was still observing her face, studying her appearance and ensuring nothing was out of place. Because she wanted to feel pretty.

Sana could tell the scar running over her inner eye to her nose bridge was an especially touchy subject. For as oblivious as Sana could be, scars were something she was familiar with.

“You know,” Sana gently took the mirror from Jeongyeon’s grasp, “There’s something I always tell Momo,” Sana gazed down, seeing Jeongyeon’s hands, resting on the open area of Momo’s truck. They were tanned and used, a bit dirty from handling parts just a few moments ago. She could see the decorative nonsensical patterns of lighter healed scars over the tops of her hands, littered over her fingers.

“About what?” Jeongyeon asked, she was a very attentive listener, it was no wonder Nayeon felt so seen with her. Sana watched the way she squeezed her fists.

“Her scars,” Sana said quietly, “You know, she’s covered in them too? Of course, its not my place to say why, but Jihyo reminds me a bit of Momo back then, a bit socially apprehensive but wholly caring. She’s covered in them, more than just the one of her foot that I gave her.”

“Is she now?” Jeongyeon tilted her head.

“Mhm,” Sana nodded, “I was there, for each and every one of them. For each one that bled, for each one she cried for, I was there. Trying to make her feel better. And that’s why I feel bad for how sporadic I was in high school, Momo didn’t really deserve the extra stress. But every time I bring it up, she just shakes her head and smiles so kindly to me. And tells me every second spent with me was worth it. Every second, even the annoying ones of me vomiting in the bushes. She hates vomit, did you know that? And she’s always been a bit self-conscious of her scars, but I personally love them. Because I saw them at their worst—when they were fresh and bleeding. I was there when they were pink and just starting to heal. And now, I’m seeing them, white and fading, decorating her body, and its beautiful. She’s beautiful.”

Jeongyeon blinked a few times, as if absorbing Sana’s words carefully. “And sorry if I’m being a bit bold,” Sana bit her lip shyly, “but you’re very beautiful Jeongyeon. Everyone can see it. Nayeon brags about it constantly, and I can’t blame her.”

Jeongyeon let out a small laugh, it was uncharacteristically shy and breathy, looking down to the truck once more, “My Sana,” She laughed, “You’re quite a charmer, did you know that?”

Sana giggled. “Its unintentional, mostly.”

“…Does she really talk about me like that?”

“If only you could listen in,” Sana teased, “She sounds like a lovesick school girl. That’s the kind of love I hope to find. The kind where you’re still obsessed, years later.”

“Yeah she’s pretty great isn’t she?” Jeongyeon gave a bit of a dazed grin, the kind that made Sana’s heart tug, “I’m one lucky gal.”

“Who looks adorable in green hair barrettes,” Sana happily complimented, feeling a wave of confidence wash over her when she saw the tips of Jeongyeon’s ears go pink. She would have never guessed Jeongyeon could blush so pink.

“Shut up,” Jeongyeon mumbled, but her smile was all the same, slamming the hood of Momo’s truck back down with a satisfying click. “Should be good now,” Jeongyeon gave a pat onto the hood for good measure, “And I’d snark back but you remind me too much of Nayeon to try to get a good jab out of you.”

Its the sweetest compliment Sana had ever heard. Because, despite finding Nayeon incredibly attractive—Sana felt a bit of wistfulness every time she looked at her. She was everything Sana longed for—successful in academics, intelligent, sharp-minded. She had a lover, a beautiful woman, who was just as obsessed with her as Nayeon was. Who loved Nayeon wholly, through her flaws and all. She had Jihyo, someone who looked up to her, inspired by Nayeon’s life. So full of wisdom, Sana’s heart twisted slightly.

“Momo’s lucky—” Jeongyeon spoke up from their comfortable silence halfway back into their apartments, “If you talk to her the way you spoke to me.”

“You think so?” Sana asked curiously.

“You just said you were there for each and every one of her scars,” Jeongyeon pointed out, “Nayeon was that, for me, you know? When I was learning how to use power tools, when I was electrocuted—”

“Huh??”

“When I got into the accident—” Jeongyeon continued, a small entertained glint in her eyes, “You guys were meant to be in each other’s lives, its obvious. I think…with how many times you tended to her wounds, its safe to say she probably doesn’t mind holding your hair back a few too many times.”

Something in Sana’s chest twisted again, sentimentality and maybe a bit of yearning. Yes, she was aware everything changed the moment Sana entered Momo’s life. But, Sana knew, without Momo, she has no idea where she would have ended up. Momo was so much more than a best friend, maybe not quite a sister, because sisters don’t think certain things Sana has had pop into her head that she’s constantly trying to pat out like a petulant little flame.

“You’re easy to talk to,” Sana instead smiled, “Thanks for fixing her truck.”

“She saved my life,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “I think fixing her truck amounts to kind of the same thing.”

Sana laughed. “I think your life is worth a bit more than a truck.”

Chapter Text

April 7th, 1995. Approximate time, 8:35 PM

Mina clutched her purse tightly against her chest, entering into the doors with a practiced caution.

Of all places, Mina was surprised Nayeon reached out to have her meet up at a bar. The lights were dim, a few people gathered into the booths. She supposed happy hour on a weekday would mean there wasn’t going to be too much business, but enough to keep it lively.

Nayeon was tucked into a booth in the corner, it was hard to miss her, with her short brown hair and nearly glowing skin against the yellow lighting.

“Glad to see you could follow my directions,” Nayeon smiled softly, as Mina slid into the booth, seated across the older woman. Mina took in Nayeon’s appearance. She was wearing much more casual clothing, a Nike windbreaker jacket, casual jeans, and sneakers. She wore a purple headband, hair out of her face and wearing light makeup. The kind that enhanced her features, Mina found her to be quite cute—despite the age difference.

“A bar, huh?” Mina looked around, seeing different posters of movies she had seen in passing, models posing, “I didn’t take you as a bar gal.”

“I love a good hole-in-the-wall,” Nayeon smiled, “Jeongyeon and I discovered this place back in ‘92. Not too busy but busy enough. And…” She leaned in with a knowing gaze, voice dropping, “Its a gay bar, truthfully. More subtle, but not many come unless you know about it, you know? That’s why its a pain to find.”

Mina blinked a few times, looking around. Nothing stuck out too much, truthfully. But maybe that was the point, to exist alongside everything else without too much of a second thought.

“How was work today?” Nayeon asked, handing Mina a menu, “Jihyo watches you every morning, you know.”

The comment made Mina blush a bit, mostly from embarrassment knowing someone she knew was watching her. “I’m flattered,” Mina chose instead, gazing the menu a bit before bringing her attention back to the older woman, “I’m a bit surprised,” Mina admitted, “That you’d invite me out, just me.”

“I mean, I’m aware the three of you are like peas in a pod,” Nayeon scrunched her nose in affection, “But I wanted to talk with you—one on one.”

“How come?”

“Well, for a few reasons,” Nayeon shrugged, leaning back into her booth comfortably as she waved the waiter down.

“What can I get for you?” He smiled kindly to Mina.

“Beer?” Mina tilted her head, “Whatever you have to offer?”

He nodded, briskly walking off while Nayeon gave Mina an approving nod.

“I didn’t pin you as a beer gal,” Nayeon gave a low whistle.

“I love beer,” Mina admitted shyly, “Back in America—teens underage drink way too often. Its a bit too easy to get your hands on it. I tried brands by the time I was like 14—darks and lights. Lagers and ales. Preferably, I like dark flavors, nearly coffee in flavor. Of course, its a bit harder to get your hands on those here in this side of the country, so I settle for whatever I can get my hands on.”

“That’s right,” Nayeon’s eyes brightened in curiosity, a look that reminded Mina so much so of Sana it was a bit intimidating. “You’re a foreigner, aren’t you?”

“Guilty as charged,” Mina chuckled, “Of course, I haven’t been to America since I was 16.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t really have a reason,” Mina shrugged.

Nayeon’s eyes were very, very analyzing. Mina had noticed this upon first meeting her. Sana’s eyes shined with wonder—she had a question for everything and had this unsatiated desire to always ask. Nayeon, however, was dissecting, like she had already learned everything she needed to know and was simply waiting for everyone else to catch up.

“No family?”

Mina shifted a bit. She knew Nayeon caught onto this but the she left the question to linger, just as the waiter came back with a crisp bottle. Mina gave him a slight nod, taking the beverage and taking a long sip. It was crisp, clean, it tasted nostalgic.

“Not really,” Mina placed the bottle down, Nayeon’s eyes never leaving her.

“How unfortunate,” Nayeon lightly stated, as the waiter came back with a bottle of soju, placing it between the two and placing two shot glasses.

Mina straightened up, grabbing the bottle and twisting it open without another word. Nayeon watched her with a small smile, eyes calculating every movement as Mina poured the first shot for her.

“…I wouldn’t have guessed you were raised in America,” Nayeon graciously took the glass, taking the bottle from Mina and pouring her shot, as Mina held the glass with both hands.

“Sana taught me well,” Mina smiled slightly, “She was adamant about us being fluent enough in the language, and learned the traditions back to front. I feel like I have a decent grasp—of course, reading is much different than engaging in it.”

They raised their glasses to each other, Mina turned away, using her hand to cover the glass as they downed the shot.

“She does seem like the type,” Nayeon went immediately back to the conversation thoughtfully, “Very thorough.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Mina laughed slightly, “She’s always been like that. She dives into everything without any regret.”

“Passionate,” Nayeon offhandedly commented, smiling slightly, “I do see a bit of myself in her, you know.”

“I see it,” Mina agreed, “Which is why I get why you spend a lot of time with her. Which is why I find this—” She motioned between the two of them, “Not weird, but surprising.”

“I mean, I see myself in Sana, sure,” Nayeon mused, “But I know how it feels—being out but not really, all on your own, figuring these things out by yourself.”

Mina felt her ears burn. Nayeon grabbed her glass, Mina grabbed the bottle.

“How long have you known?” Nayeon questioned, as Mina poured the shot for her.

“A while,” Mina shrugged, “There’s not too much drama involved in it. I just kind of knew—I guess I got lucky with that. That I found solace in coming to terms with it.”

“Can’t say the same for me,” Nayeon rolled her eyes but held her glass regardless. They downed another batch.

“Care to explain?” Mina offered, leaving the question to linger just in the way Nayeon had.

“There’s not much to say either,” Nayeon shrugged, “Same old, same old. I grew up religious, my family had a lot of restrictions. I realized and was afraid. Hell and all that shit. Eventually, I kind of grew past it. Sort of. There’s some baggage there, I won’t bore you with the details.”

“Its okay to say you’re afraid,” Mina said lightly. Nayeon looked a bit taken aback, blinking a few times. “You don’t have to pretend whatever happened wasn’t a lot,” Mina clarified, “I don’t judge. You wouldn’t bore me, but if you’re not ready to speak upon it, that’s fine.”

“…You’re bold,” Nayeon said curiously, leaning in closer, resting her chin on her palm, studying wherever her eyes landed.

“I’ve been told,” Mina smiled a bit, the alcohol making her a bit braver, “Quiet? Surely. A doormat…? Not too much. I don’t stand for shit, really.”

“Ah, there’s it is,” Nayeon joked, “That foreigner in you.”

“There’s a lot to learn about me,” Mina laughed a bit, feeling a bit warmer.

“I guess you could say the same for me as well,” Nayeon nodded, “There’s a lot about me you don’t know. Just in the same way there’s plenty about you I don’t know.”

“Isn’t that the fun of it, though?” Mina tilted her head slightly, “Sana’s always told me that. The best part of meeting me so late in her life is that she gets the reward of learning everything there is to learn about me.”

“What an interesting way to think,” Nayeon smiled slightly, “Its been a while, you know?”

“A while since what?”

“Since I’ve tried to expand my community,” Nayeon stated, “I have friends—close friends I’ve had for years. I’ve been around those people for ages. My closest friend is a man I’ve known since I was a teenager. Its been forever since I’ve spoken with someone so…new.”

“I’m flattered,” Mina teased. Nayeon let out a small laugh, “Community you say?”

Nayeon hummed, nodding slightly. “A village, its what they say it takes to raise a child. Jihyo has babies…I love them so much. But before they were born—Jihyo was the one who needed the raising. And she still does, she’s only 17.”

“I wonder how she feels,” Mina mused, “To have people who care for her in such a way.”

“Is that not Sana and Momo for you?” Nayeon pointed out. And really, if it was that simple, Mina could easily agree. But it wasn’t that easy—because while Sana and Momo were older and took good care of her, Mina wouldn’t go as far as to say she saw them as something like family. They were close enough—but Mina wouldn’t want to say they were like sisters. Something about that suggestion rubbed her the wrong way.

“…In a sense,” Mina scrunched her nose, “I wouldn’t say they’re family to me. But close enough.”

“How did you end up talking with them, anyways?”

“Long story,” Mina recalled, frowning slightly, “Its more Sana’s thing than it is mine.”

“I know,” Nayeon simply stated, “She’s already told me.”

And just like Sana, Nayeon was quite sneaky. “I do respect how you don’t cross boundaries,” Nayeon said very relaxed, blinking slowly, grabbing the soju bottle.

“So then why’d you ask me?” Mina questioned, “If you already knew?”

“Just curious,” Nayeon shrugged, “There’s two sides plus the truth.”

“…Sana is very outgoing,” Mina smiled, as they took yet another shot, “She came up to me first—I’m sure she already told you. She took one look at my puka necklace and immediately began to tell me about the origins. And I was smitten—she’s got pretty brown hair and I’m a sucker for noses.”

“Smitten?” Nayeon smirked. Mina blinked. Feeling her cheeks grow warm, blinking rapidly, trying to get her mouth to catch up with her brain.

“I—” Mina sputtered out, “You—wait—”

“Don’t be shy,” Nayeon shrugged, “Its only normal. She’s beautiful—you’re beautiful, you guys are both into women—”

“Hold on now—” Mina was now flushing, feeling her hands twitch, “You got me with shots. Of…of course I think Sana is beautiful. I think Momo is beautiful, too. I love women—all women. I could even go as far as to say I think you’re beautiful, Jeongyeon too. But that’s all common knowledge, we all know this about all of you.”

“How long have you been out for?” Nayeon pushed the conversation.

“About five years,” Mina mused, “I came out when I moved to Japan. Sort of like turning a new leaf—trying to become more of…well…me.”

“Who was the first to learn of it?” Nayeon asked curiously. She reached over, taking Mina’s beer, taking a long sip. Mina couldn’t even find it in herself to argue, too absorbed in Nayeon’s conversation. She wondered if this was a habit Nayeon had with people she was comfortable with. Sharing food.

“…Sana,” Mina admitted, feeling the alcohol make her cheeks burn quicker than usual. “I-I told her, when she was hanging out in my dorm room. Just me and her. Before Momo—because I was nervous but Sana was always so accepting—she’s always so understanding, did you know that?”

“She seems like the type,” Nayeon agreed.

“I learned a lot from her,” Mina admitted, “Of course—its easy, with someone like her. Maybe not even someone like her, just her in general. She seems to glow when she’s teaching. Momo and I always encourage her to pursue a professorship—I think she’d really rise to that. Between you and me, she’s a sucker for guidance.”

“She’s taught me a lot,” Mina admitted, “Gay culture, social sciences, and just random things. Korean culture so I didn’t have too hard of a time adjusting. She loves helping, I’m sure its her love language.”

“You seem close,” Nayeon said mirthfully.

“I guess that’s what happens when you spend every day with each other,” Mina mused, “I can’t remember a day since I met them I haven’t spent a day with them. Sana and Momo. I love them both—very much.”

“You know, Jihyo really likes you,” Nayeon pointed out, a small smirk growing on her face, “I think I need to have a talk with her.”

Mina giggled, a full on giggle that resulted in her covering her face with her hands, “I’m flattered—really,” She chuckled, “But I don’t even think she realizes what she’s doing—”

“She’s a bit behind,” Nayeon chuckled affectionately, “I think she’ll come to terms with it—eventually. For now, I find it endearing. But if she’s ever pushing her limits—”

“Please,” Mina shook her head, “We said the door is always open. I like Jihyo—she’s a bit younger but I’ve never been an unnie, I’d love to though.”

“Just—” Nayeon shifted slightly, “She’s everything to me.”

“If its any constellation, you guys are everything to her, too,” Mina reassured.

“I can’t bear the thought of anyone hurting her anymore,” Nayeon admitted, letting out a heavy sigh, “There’s so much unsaid, I-I don’t know if it’ll ever come up. I want her to make friends, to trust people.”

“Is that why you invited me?” Mina felt a small smile pull at the ends of her lips, “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

“Nothing wrong with making sure someone is of good character,” Nayeon mumbled. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe Mina has always had a thing for slightly older women—Nayeon is definitely the nurturing type. She glows like a mother, the same smooth skin and soft presence. The presence Mina never really had in her childhood. Maybe that’s why Mina started rambling, because Nayeon’s gaze felt like she already knew everything Mina was going to say, she was simply waiting for Mina to catch up.

“…I haven’t visited America because my family doesn’t want to see me,” Mina found herself admitting, “I know you know my last name—your eyes say everything.”

Nayeon’s eyes twinkled. “Myoui Tech is the enterprise my chem lab equipment is branded as,” She said calmly, “Your family makes chemical equipment, from my gear to the microscopes.”

“Guilty as charged,” Mina admitted, “Our company has been enduring since the 70s. Still new but established enough.”

“So why then?” Nayeon questioned, “Of course, if you want to talk. I’m all ears.”

Mina thought about Jihyo. She could see the remnants of Nayeon in Jihyo’s personality. Her gaze, her questions, her endless curiosity. Jihyo surely wasn’t Nayeon’s blood, but it certainly felt like it. And Mina recalled what Nayeon said—she gets it. The loneliness, the ache in the center of your chest to be rejected by the ones who were supposed to give you everything.

“I wouldn’t say my homelife was abusive,” Mina admitted quietly, “But it was definitely void of affection. My grandmother—bless her soul—carried on as much as she could. But her son, my dad, was definitely not the loving type. And maybe it had to do with my grandfather, a harsh man with rough words. Who hurt my dad, and sure, he never laid his hands on me. But there was no…warmth? The company grew, passed from my grandfather to my dad, who married my mom on a whim because her skin was beautiful and she was everything he wanted to show the world. So…no love between them either.”

“Sounds…cold,” Nayeon completed her sentiment softly, “I get that. Cold.”

“Yes well, even in America, it was cold. Always. They wanted to send me to Japan to get a business degree, maybe a double major in finances—then I was set to take over the company. Really, it should have been my older brother but he had long since rejected being associated with the family. They weren’t thrilled I was next in line. Only…”

“Its not what you wanted,” Nayeon’s eyes flashed with understanding, “No, you didn’t want to take over the business.”

“It was never my thing,” Mina shrugged, “I never had that longing for power to my name. And even then, it wouldn’t have been my name, really. It would have been whatever dude married me up.”

“You like the weather,” Nayeon’s gaze was never intimidating to Mina, but she could see how it could be to anyone else, “And here I thought they rejected you because of your sexuality. Guess I’m a bit old school.”

Mina laughed slightly, but she felt the way her eyebrows furrowed, blinking a few times. “Yeah well, if it wasn’t the weather that was going to make them reject me…the gay thing definitely would have,” Mina admitted, “You hear it, you know? The slurs, the derogatory accusations, its always negatively associated for a woman to never date a man—because why wouldn’t you want a man? And maybe I consider myself lucky that it was just the weather thing. It made it a hell of a lot easier to never look back.”

“Did they try to marry you off?” Nayeon asked with a tilt of her head, “My family was extremely religious, so they wanted me to be married by the time I graduated.”

Something in Mina’s brain flickered. A strange memory, something she may have buried deep inside her mind without even realizing. Her first thought was that she needed to tell Sana at some point, maybe Momo. Because now, the memory was right at her fingertips, making her feel strange. But neither were here at this moment—but Nayeon was. She was present, her calculating gaze, her soft skin and glowing presence. Mina blinked.

“No,” She admitted slowly, “But…do you want another shot?”

Nayeon blinked a bit, obviously surprised by the request, but held her glass out regardless as Mina poured a hearty shot. “Don’t hold back,” Mina requested, she ignored Nayeon’s slightly concerned furrow of her eyebrows.

They downed the shots, as Mina placed her glass back onto the table with a small thump. “No…they never married me off, but I did do a lot of dumb shit in high school,” Mina recalled, “And I guess I was still kind of reckless when I first moved to Japan. I was alone and on my own, and I kind of knew eventually they were going to abandon me, if not for the company then definitely for being gay.”

“And?” Nayeon asked softly.

“Before I really got to know Sana,” Mina recalled, “Before I even knew who Momo was, I met another woman. She was 19, and the only person who called herself gay, I met her at college orientation. She was also from America—I guess that helped get close with her.”

Nayeon didn’t speak, she simply listened, the same expression Jihyo made when she was focused crossing over Nayeon’s features.

“And what do you think happens between two curious teens?” Mina asked, trying to make it sound like a joke but it came out a bit more harsher than she intended. Nayeon still did not respond, she sat silently, absorbing Mina’s words.

“…We kissed a few times,” Mina said quietly, looking to her empty glass, “Maybe got a little further than that. And then, one night, I was at her dorm, and it was getting more heated than before. You know—how graphic am I allowed to be right now?”

“Oh,” Nayeon’s tone was slightly affectionate, nearly breathless, “Sana asked me the same thing—who learned from who?”

“She always asks that,” Mina felt a more natural smile crawling over her features, “She’s always cautious of that.”

“You’re a whole adult,” Nayeon motioned, “Of course, you make me feel old as hell, but we’re both drinking here. Say what you need to say.”

Mina hummed unsurely, staring to her hands. Like she was present but not all here. “She wanted to go down on me. Kissing down my stomach or whatever, and just when she was going to take off my jeans—I had a weird thought. She was going to see me, naked. Like, entirely so—physically but also—It was going to be my first time. My absolute first time, with a woman I met maybe 3 weeks before that. That…that’s incredibly short in hindsight. I’ve been sick longer than I knew her entire existence. And I got cold feet, kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“I sort of realized maybe I wasn’t ready,” Mina flushed, “Maybe not with someone who was basically a stranger to me. And…and I stopped her, and I told her what I was feeling.”

Nayeon’s expression just barely changed, a different glint shining in her eyes.

“And then?” Nayeon asked cautiously.

“Well, I told her,” Mina breathed out, “And I should have known better than to dive headfirst into these things, I guess that’s a bad habit I’ve developed. I’m way more impulsive than a lot of people give me credit for.”

“She wasn’t very pleased by it,” Mina admitted, “Because she wanted me so badly, it was nearly painful to keep her hands off me. But like…I’m sure that’s fake. I’ve never like…had sex with a woman…but I’ve definitely gone a bit further, and the moment they so as much as breathe differently I don’t have a problem pulling away. But I was 16 and nervous—I think she wanted to take advantage of it. She was sickly kind, trying to beg me into submission, trying to pin me down—trying to touch me even when I had come to the realization I absolutely didn’t want to do that.”

“Did she…?”

“Oh hell no,” Mina said sharply, “I don’t stand for that shit. I’m quiet, not a doormat. And that’s how I knew it was a bad decision, because she didn’t know that about me. She didn’t know me at all. She thought she could hold me down, she thought she could handle me, maybe even overpower me.”

“She couldn’t, hm?” Nayeon leaned onto her hand, listening intently.

“Absolutely not,” Mina shook her head, “I kept telling her to stop. She didn’t listen. She kept trying, literally, to get into my pants. It pissed me off.”

“What did you do?”

“I slapped her,” Mina shrugged, “Enough to shock her stiff. Then, I knock her down. And I think she was so thrown off at that that I just grabbed my clothes and left.”

“Mm, that have gone wrong in so many ways you know,” Nayeon said, not quite offhandedly, but almost as if she was imagining any and every other scenario. Mina had seen a similar expression across Sana’s face before.

“I know,” Mina admitted, a heavy feeling in her chest, “And I think after that, I just never liked the idea of hookup culture. Of course, all the power to those who do it. Its just not me.”

“Gay culture isn’t all that different from straight culture sometimes,” Nayeon confirmed, “Its a lot of the same slippery slopes of consent and boundaries—and just like there’s bad men…there’s bad women, too.”

“I got off lucky,” Mina breathed out, “And also…I think you’re the first person I’ve ever told this to.”

Nayeon’s eyes widened slightly.

“But maybe its because you’re an older gay woman,” Mina admitted, “…I like that about you. I like knowing you have the knowledge I might not have. I…I really do appreciate this, you know. I appreciate that you always greet us whenever you see us, and how you seem so open to the idea that Jihyo wants to be my friend.”

“I just want her to have good people in her life,” Nayeon said firmly, “You seem good. You all do. Of course, I’ll learn more about that the more I hang out with you all.”

“So this is a thing now?” Mina slightly teased, slightly asked with a genuineness that only came with downing three shots and sipping a beer in a bar on a Tuesday afternoon.

“If you want it to be,” Nayeon’s eyes glowed, “I like you, Mina. Jihyo likes you a lot, too, and I trust her judgement more than you’ll ever know. And also…” She trailed off, placing her hand over Mina’s gently, giving her a soft pat, “You should talk to your friends about this experience.”

“I really should,” Mina said, still feeling a bit dazed to remember something from so long ago, “I think I will.”

April 7th, 1995. Approximate time, 10:12 PM

Nayeon could handle her alcohol much better than Mina. She prided herself in this, because experience definitely trumped a young, healthy liver. For the most part.

By the time she and Mina left the bar, the sky was swelling into darkness, the stars beginning to shine through the city nightlife. The streets weren’t that busy, they were clearing out quite nicely, given it was a school night and parents had work in the morning. Nayeon found this to be a blessing, usually. Maybe not so much right now, as her and Mina strolled down the street, shoulder to shoulder.

Nayeon would say that she always had an unfortunate luck with running into crappy strangers at the worst possible times. This was one of those times, feeling a strange tug in her gut. Almost instinctual, like the energy shifted as she had taken notice to the man who had followed behind them long enough to become suspicious. Nayeon held her breath, mentally preparing herself because the drunk men were insufferable at this hour, hence why her and Jeongyeon slowed down their visits to this side of the city.

“Stick close,” Nayeon ordered softly, linking her arm with Mina’s, a bit thrown off to feel just how firm her arm felt beneath her jacket. “I got a bad feeling about this guy,” She whispered. Mina blinked a few times, staring to Nayeon with a look that expressed that she wasn’t fully thinking soberly.

“What guy?” Mina questioned, whipping her head to look around, which made Nayeon shrank a bit.

“Don’t make it obvious—” Nayeon scolded, lightly tapping Mina’s arm, “Just keep walking—”

Their conversation was interrupted by a low whistle, a wolf whistle, the ones Nayeon always heard when she stayed out well past her bedtime. God, she felt her ears burn, wishing Jeongyeon was here right now because at least Jeongyeon could hold her ground in a confrontation.

“Hey sexy—” The man called out, “How bout you come here and let me show you a good fucking time?”

Nayeon intended to just keep walking, most of these harassers were too drunk to actually do anything about it. She would have kept walking, if it had not been for the way Mina stopped her tracks, sudden enough that Nayeon stumbled slightly. Arms still linked together, hands shoved in her jacket pockets, Mina stopped, back straight, eyebrows raised slightly.

“Excuse me—?” Mina suddenly whipped her head around, Nayeon feeling a small sensation of dread in her chest.

“Mina, its fine,” She urged, “This happens sometimes.”

“You heard me,” He snickered, tossing his cigarette onto the ground, “Two beautiful women? Just for me? It must be my lucky day, I love ‘em exotic—” Ugh, Nayeon absolutely hated drunk tourists.

“Dude—” Mina suddenly spoke in perfect English, accent barely visible, “Shut the fuck up—”

He only chuckled, taking a few steps closer, “Oh? You understand me?”

“I do,” Mina was now fully turned around, arm tensing enough that Nayeon had no other choice than to follow Mina’s motions. “I can hear you loud and clear. And look, I really don’t give a fuck about what you have to say about me, really. But—” She motioned to Nayeon, “Don’t be disrespecting my friend here.”

He scoffed, looking thoroughly entertained by the interaction, “She looks like she’d be great at sucking dick.”

Nayeon’s jaw dropped at the sheer audacity, Mina only tilted her head slightly, very blatantly not in a completely sober headspace. She was about to get them fucking killed.

“Take that back,” Mina said stiffly, unlinking their arms, giving him a defiant expression, “Now.”

“Or what?” He scoffed, “Babe, I could take you in my sleep. I could have my way with you if I really wanted to.”

“Mina,” Nayeon warned, choosing to not speak in English so as to make sure he couldn’t understand, “You’re drunk.”

“I’m tipsy, sure,” Mina replied back, “But there’s no way in hell he’s going to get away with disrespecting you.”

“You think she’d look even better bent over?” He suddenly spoke again. Nayeon’s face burned—Mina’s fists clenched.

“You fucking dick,” Mina hissed, taking a step closer, “I swear to fucking god—”

Nayeon nearly screamed, feeling him lunge out and grab her by her arm, trying to tug her past Mina. “Motherfucker—” Mina only raised her voice slightly, trying to use her sheer strength to try to tug them apart. He wasn’t exactly steady himself, his body weight stumbling slightly forward, enough for Nayeon to catch a whiff of something pungent and strong. They struggled for a moment, before Nayeon yelped to see his elbow make contact with Mina’s face. Her nose immediately began to burst red, blood dripping down her face as she stumbled back.

The crash echoed in the nearly empty street, bystanders choosing to ignore the situation unfolding. Mina landed right onto one of the metal trash bins nearby, trash tumbling out and awkwardly landing on top of the bin.

“Mina—” Nayeon worriedly hoped the woman didn’t knock herself out. Then she’d be in really, really deep shit. This guy was fucking insane.

“Oops,” He smirked, still holding Nayeon’s arm with a stony grip, “Didn’t mean to hurt the priss.”

There was a beat of dreaded silence, before Mina let out a small laugh. Somehow, that was the freakiest sound Nayeon had heard out of this whole situation, the way Mina’s laugh only grew just a bit louder, shifting around to drag herself up from the mess. Her clothes were disheveled, there was a strange stain now on her back from where the trash bag burst on her. Her hair was scraggly, the blood was still pouring from her nose, she straightened herself up.

“If you’re going to fight, make it a fair one,” Mina suddenly taunted, tilting her head slightly in feign innocence, “Or are you afraid to let a bitch beat you?” She gave a toothy grin, a very unsettling grin with no emotion, teeth painted red from falling back first, blood from her nose probably going down her throat.

“I ain’t afraid of no bitch,” he scoffed, “Babe, I could really hurt you—”

“Okay—” Mina raised her hands, motioning for him to come closer, “Then let her go, and show me.”

“Mina—” Nayeon’s head was spinning, too frozen in confusion and utter horror at the sight unfolding before her that she didn’t even know how to talk her out of this. This had to be the alcohol talking, right?

“Suit yourself,” He scoffed, releasing Nayeon with a flick, looking so much larger as he puffed his chest out. He was all burly and broad, nearly six inches towering over Mina. She looked completely unfazed, simply bringing her chin down, keeping her head low, bringing her loosely fisted hands to her eye level. She bent her knees slightly, Nayeon’s mind suddenly sparked back up, mind flailing to all the books on self-defense she had read but never got around to actually trying to learn—

He wasn’t as quick, trying to throw a heavy weighted punch straight to Mina. Nayeon felt a split moment of utter panic—Mina was going to fucking die.

She didn’t, though, even if Nayeon was still stuck on that assumption. Instead, she narrowly dodged the punch, bringing her shin up, knocking it right into his side. It hit the sweet spot for someone’s air to get knocked out, Nayeon could tell by the way his pupils went into pinpricks, obviously unprepared to be winded like that.

He remained hunched over, trying to regain his breathing and balance. It was in this moment that Mina made another move, holding her hands together and using her elbow, jabbing it right upward, onto his jaw. The sound wasn’t pleasant, the sight wasn’t exactly admirable either, but Nayeon couldn’t stop her gasp as he just…fell. Crumpled down completely. Out cold, Nayeon’s mind racing to last year—Jeongyeon recalling the way she managed to knock out Jihyo’s stepdad. And she loved her girlfriend, she really did, more than anything in this world—but they both knew that was a sheer miracle. Jeongyeon was hearty and strong, but she was not trained to do feat like that. Her childhood taught her enough, but she’d never successfully managed that until that fateful night.

This—this however, was pure calculation. He wasn’t meagerly winded, he was out cold—limp bodied and shriveled on the concrete lamely.

“I—” Nayeon’s brain restarted once again, eyes immediately turning to Mina, “What the—?”

“Idiot,” Mina sneered, spitting out the blood that had tracked into her mouth. Her entire demeanor changed the moment her eyes landed back to Nayeon. “You’re shaking,” Mina’s demeanor was soft once more, whipping off her jacket and bringing it to drape over Nayeon’s shoulders, “Are you okay? Sorry—I know the jacket probably smells like shit.”

“I’m—” Nayeon sputtered, “I’m really fucking confused right now.”

Mina only gave a very in-character shy smile, lips pursed even if her nose was still bleeding. “Rich people have a lot of time on their hands,” Mina shrugged quietly, taking Nayeon’s arm and urging them to continue walking, “My brother did Muay Thai. I did ballet. We both got bored and showed the other what we learned.”

“Muay Thai?!” Nayeon couldn’t stop the shock from her voice, “Mina—you’re insane—”

“I’ve been told,” Mina nodded a bit solemnly, “I can’t help it. He’d been following us since we left the bar—I doubt anyone would have stepped in.” Her cheeks were still rosy from the alcohol and physical effort she just did, “I-I’m sorry though,” Mina was now rambling, “I-I didn’t mean to scare you—”

Nayeon’s mind raced once more, lingering on the day Jihyo decided San was going to be in her life indefinitely. She always liked to brag about it, how he kicked a guy to the ground in her honor. To protect her, no one had ever defended Jihyo liked that in her life. Its partially why Nayeon approved of San, because he was insanely adorable and polite—but he had a strong sense of justice. Because Jihyo never deserved to be treated poorly by anyone, ever again.

Jihyo wasn’t Nayeon’s flesh and blood, but sometimes she felt like they had to be connected by something like souls. Because Nayeon was looking to Mina, and everything clicked. It made sense, Jihyo deciding San was going to be her closest friend thus far. Because Nayeon just witnessed Mina knock a man out in her defense, and it felt only right for a calming ease to take over her. The ease of acceptance to realize Mina was now one of Nayeon’s. Maybe not quite the same level of bond she had with Jihyo, Mina seemed just fine on her own. But now, Mina was stuck with Nayeon until further notice. They were going to be in each other’s lives, whether Mina wanted to or not.

“If you ever need anything, you come to me—” Nayeon suddenly said, with as much firmness as she could muster, taking Mina by her shoulders, “I’m so glad that Jihyo wants you in her life.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Mina shook her head, eyes wide, looking significantly more sober than she did earlier, “I can hold my ground just fine.”

“You’re insane,” Nayeon repeated, remembering her own impulsivity in her young adulthood, “Clinically insane. You just knocked out a grown man. Cold.”

“I mean—” Mina shrugged nervously, “I’m just lucky, honestly. But I use it to my advantage, not too many people know fighting well enough to hold their ground against technique. I don’t know if you know this, but no one is ever going to hurt the people I care about. Not if I have a say.”

“I’m entrusting you,” Nayeon said with as much seriously as she could, “You just knocked out a man in my honor. You are stuck in my life whether you like it or not. The moment Jihyo hears about this, she’s going to think the world of you. Are you able to handle that?”

“I—” Mina faltered, not in doubt but in surprise, “I would be honored, really.”

“Please take care of her,” Nayeon took Mina’s hands into her own, giving them a gentle squeeze, “She needs someone like you—confident, wholly kind—”

“I’m kind of impulsive,” Mina quickly clarified, “Really impulsive, actually.”

“Within reason,” Nayeon shook her head, “You’re calculating, aren’t you? You timed everything?”

“…I did.”

Nayeon exhaled a deep breath. “I’m trusting you. I’m trusting and putting my everything into you—please protect her. Please show her what it means to be a confident woman, a woman who can hold her ground. Give her kindness and show her what being an older sister really means, please. I wouldn’t want any other woman to take up that mantle. Can you do that for me, Mina? Truly?”

“…You have my word,” Mina promised after a beat of silence.

“Good,” Nayeon exhaled in relief, hand still holding Mina’s own, “Let’s get home. You need to ice that nose—”

Chapter Text

March 20th, 1995. Approximate time, 2:22 AM

Momo woke up with a sweat. Chest tight, heart feeling like it was about to rip out from her chest.

She sat up with a tight breath, bringing a hand to clutch, making sure her heart actually wasn’t somewhere splattered on the walls. She was only slightly relieved to remember her heart was still confined with the walls of her ribs and chest cavity.

Momo let out a soft exhale, feeling the sweat gathering at her forehead. She glanced over, seeing Sana still sound asleep. She felt a bit of tension release—Sana always slept so peacefully. Something about it made Momo’s heart twitch in reassurance. Truth be told, Momo always liked watching Sana sleep. Of course, she’d never say this to the woman’s face, but Momo had learned quite young nothing relaxed her more from the constant nightmare than to just…sit and watch. Watch Sana’s rhythmic breathing, listen to her light breathing.

Even right now, when the nightmare seemed to claw its way up Momo’s throat, she sat, watching Sana quietly. Sana had kicked off the comforter, half her body splayed out, neck craned in a way that Momo just knew she’d be complaining about by tomorrow morning. She was wearing one of Mina’s band t-shirts, the collar had been cut off completely, a bit of her shoulder exposed. Momo was tempted to pull it up, but she resisted.

A part of her wanted to reach out, shake the woman awake, just because Momo loved being spoiled. She loved the worried expression Sana got whenever Momo did wake her up, always so hurriedly concerned and half asleep. But there was a tug of hesitance—school was kicking Sana’s ass. Momo could figure it out from the way her bags had darkened over the past few weeks, sitting at their low table with a terse expression. Always grading papers or working on her thesis.

Instead, Momo slowly stood up, carefully to not make any sudden noise. She made her way to the door, cracking it open and hoping it didn’t creak too much. She slipped out with ease—it wasn’t her first rodeo doing this alone. Momo always hated dragging Sana into these nights—even if she longed to be under someone’s care. Momo rarely let herself do that, she didn’t want to put any more stress than what the woman already had.

What she wasn’t expecting, was the younger woman, who sat on the sofa, blanket on her legs, curled into the corner, eyes widening in surprise.

“…Momo?” Mina sat up a bit, Momo only pressed her back against the door, as if it would make her disappear.

“What…what the fuck?” Momo questioned, watching Mina stand up, blanket falling back onto the ground, “Why are you up Minari?”

“Couldn’t sleep, its my day off anyway,” Mina shrugged, her eyes never leaving Momo, “…Why are you up? Its like 2 in the morning?”

“I—” Momo cut herself off unsurely, biting her lip, “I…”

Mina seemed to catch on to her hesitance, taking a step back, as if to give Momo more space, “You okay?”

“Just a bad dream,” Momo huffed out, feeling gross and sticky and hot even if it was still a bit cool during the nights. Mina frowned at that statement, even in the dark Momo could practically feel her eyes staring her down, as if trying to get more information merely just by observing.

“Do these happen often?” Mina questioned, “You can talk to me about these things, Momoring, did you know that?”

“I do,” Momo huffed out again, trying to catch her breath, “I-I just—”

“You never have before,” Mina seemed to complete the sentiment, “Its okay. I understand.” Her voice was quiet and gentle, trying not to push Momo anymore than the edge she already felt like she was hanging off of.

“I-I do get them sometimes,” Momo found herself quietly confirming, crossing her arms to keep herself literally held together, “But its nothing I-I can’t handle on my own.”

“You don’t have to handle it on your own though,” Mina lightly pointed out, “You’ve never had to do that.”

“I’d feel b-bad to drag you guys down with me,” Momo admitted.

Mina tsked, there was no annoyance in her tone, but there was something heavy lining it. Momo only watched, seeing Mina look lost in thought for a moment, staring off. “C’mon,” Mina suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, motioning for Momo to follow her, making a beeline for her door.

“What are you—?” Momo questioned but Mina ignored her protest, already gesturing to her open door.

“I said c’mon,” Mina repeated, firmer. Not angry, but firm, still as quiet as she would always be. Even in her anxiousness, Momo felt the way her feet automatically listened to Mina’s demand. She wordlessly entered into Mina’s room, completely coated in darkness for a split moment before the click of a lamp brought Momo back to reality. The light was dim, highlighting Mina’s shelf of collectibles, her television that was resting on top of her dresser. Her curtains were fully drawn, blackout curtains that made Momo shiver to think about how impossibly dark it had to have gotten in the room during the course of the night.

Momo watched Mina walk around, pulling her comforter open. “Lay down,” She decided, motioning for Momo to follow her once again.

Momo was too caught in her own brain to try to argue, she simply listened. Crawling into Mina’s sheets, feeling Mina toss the comforter over Momo with a familiar precision, the scent of Mina suddenly overtaking her nose. It unintentionally made Momo’s shoulders relax, taking as subtle of a deep breath as she could, the smell of lemon and sandalwood coating the air around her.

“Stay put,” Mina ordered, walking back out and leaving Momo with nothing but her thoughts and the very calming smell of Myoui Mina herself. Heart still pounding, head still spinning, but feeling significantly lighter.

“Here,” Mina came back, holding a glass half-full of water, “Sit up.”

Momo complied, taking the glass and bringing it to her tingling lips, taking a slow sip. Mina watched her carefully, making her way to the other side of the bed, sitting down. Momo felt the bed dip a bit, it was odd. Momo grew up with mats, it was a staple piece of her childhood. Sana was the same way, neither had ever had a mattress in the way Mina had. She could hear the way the springs creaked slightly, Mina watching Momo in deep thought.

“Feeling a little steadier?” Mina finally asked, when Momo placed the glass on Mina’s nightstand.

“Something like that,” Momo took a deep breath, running her hand through her hair, “I’m sorry—”

“You’re not going to apologize,” Mina shook her head, “But if you want to talk, I’m all ears.”

The silence wasn’t pressing, it never was with Mina. There was plenty of in-between moments where neither of them said a single word, they simply enjoyed each other’s presence. This could easily be one of those moments, if Momo decided to. Mina was great at that, letting Momo draw a very firm line on the ground of boundaries. Its one of the many things Momo enjoyed about Mina, her uncanny ability to adjust to whatever.

But in the same breath, it was Mina. And just like how there was so much left of Mina that was wholly undiscovered, Momo realized it was the same for herself. Mina didn’t know the things Sana did, she didn’t know why Momo had those boundaries, she simply followed them.

“Sometimes…” Momo adjusted herself, bringing her knees to her chest, dragging the comforter up with her, not too keen on losing the smell, “I have specific nightmares. Not just any sort of bad dream, but like…memories.”

Mina tilted her head slightly, listening intently. “Memories?”

“Yeah,” Momo hummed, twiddling with the end of the blanket, “About when I was younger. My childhood.”

These were all a given, but Momo greatly appreciated how Mina just let her…talk.

“About my dad,” Momo felt like she was really pushing herself right now, but once the words began to leave, it felt hard to stop them, “About incidents. About getting in trouble and being afraid for my life. Hiding in the closet or somewhere like the cabinets in my old kitchen. But I can always hear his boots, the heavy thump of them on my old floorboards. Like a bomb just waiting to go off—”

“Breathe,” Mina held her hands out, lowering them. Momo followed the flow of Mina’s hands. “Deep breaths Momoring.”

Momo tried to steady her breathing, but the tears were already momentarily blinding her. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears push out from her eyes, running streaks down her cheeks. Slowly, she brought a hand up, wiping away what she could. “Shit—” Momo muttered.

“You don’t have to say anymore,” Mina gently urged, “Just breathe. I’m right here.”

“Its okay,” Momo reassured, even if her throat grew tighter, “Its involuntary at this point. They just kind of pour out.”

“But still,” Mina shook her head, “The last thing I want to do is make you feel like I’m forcing you.”

“I-I don’t feel that way,” Momo quietly reassured, wiping a few more tears, “Its always hard to bring it up. I don’t usually. But…its you, you know?”

“I don’t know, really, actually,” Mina joked lightly, “This is the whole flirting debacle all over again.”

Momo thought for a moment, figuring out the best way to word it without her personal dictionary (translator, because Momo wasn’t very great at verbalizing). “I trust you,” Momo decided on, the statement feeling heavier than usual, maybe because of the time of day, or the person she was saying it to, “At the end of it all. When you jokingly flirt with me. When I’m crying in front of you. When I’m drunk, when you’re drunk. I just trust you. That’s why I’m telling you this.”

Momo can’t really remember a time Mina was at a loss of words like she was in this moment, blinking slowly as if barely registering Momo’s words. Maybe she was sleepier than Momo was giving her credit for. But in this lighting, Mina looked even softer than she usually did, her eyes watching Momo with a tender expression. Or maybe Momo was also more exhausted than she realized, feeling her head spin from being jarred awake so suddenly.

“…I’m sorry you have nightmares,” Mina finally replied, expression still soft, looking a bit saddened, “I know you’re childhood wasn’t easy, but I didn’t know it was—”

“Abusive?” Momo filled the gap, “Yeah, I just…I don’t know I don’t like to bring it up a lot.”

“Is that why you were around Sana so much?” Mina asked slowly, testing the waters, “Because her family is just…”

“Like that?” Momo snorted, “Soft and friendly and loving? Yeah, I guess I kind of kept wanting to go back.”

“I get that,” Mina nodded, “The first time I went over, and her dad hugged me so excitedly, I was kind of scared. Not because he’s scary—he’s the opposite actually. He’s like a teddy bear—”

“You can very easily see where Sana gets it from,” Momo relaxed a bit more, because she always felt a bit warmer talking about Sana. Mina smiled right alongside, looking a bit nostalgic, eyes filling with affection, “That’s a good thing, though, you know?” Mina contemplated, “That one of us has good parents. Keeps everything balanced.”

“I can’t imagine Sana living in a silent household like I did,” Mina mused, “Void of affection. I fear the Sana we know would no longer exist.”

“I can’t imagine Sana going through anything I did,” Momo sighed heavily, “I think it’d kill me to see her look like me.”

“You have scars,” Mina stated, it wasn’t really an unknown fact. Momo had long since gotten used to the fading lines over her body, on her back, on her arms. They were present. But not the center of attention. Momo knew Mina knew better than to bring them up. “Is that what you’re referring to?”

“Yeah,” Momo admitted, “My dad was strict.”

“That strict?” Mina frowned, it was hard for her to keep a neutral expression but Momo appreciated she was doing her absolute best. “Strict enough to hurt you?”

“Yeah,” Momo could only tiredly agree, “I owe so much of my good memories to Sana.”

“I’m sorry,” Mina only quietly said, “No wonder you get nightmares.”

“What’s that thing Jihyo always says?” Momo took a second to try to recall, “Tis life? Yeah, that.”

“What makes you feel better?” Mina asked, “When you get nightmares?”

“Oh,” Momo felt her ears burn, “I mean, I just go through it, really. Sometimes, if its a lot…I’ll wake up Sana.”

“Would you like to do that now?” Mina offered, “I know she won’t mind.”

“I know she won’t,” Momo agreed, “But—” She stopped for a moment. Really, if she thought about it, there really wasn’t anything stopping her from reaching out to Sana. Because Sana would easily just wake up and tend to Momo in the way she needed at this moment. But a piece of Momo would feel guilty for falling into such an easy routine, because Sana was beyond exhausted and Momo needed to learn how to deal with this on her own.

“You don’t always have to deal with these things on your own, you know,” Mina suddenly piped up, like she had read the exact thoughts running through Momo’s mind. So spot on, Momo couldn’t help but shiver at just how well Mina had learned to read her. Only Sana had ever gotten that far. Mina cracked it in half the time.

“I know,” Momo nodded quietly, “But I always feel bad for it.”

“You shouldn’t,” Mina said firmly, like there was no room for argument so Momo didn’t bother trying, “As long as I’m in your life—if you don’t want to wake up Sana, then come to me.”

Momo only swallowed the lump forming in her throat, shivering even though she was now hugging the comforter over herself, “Do…do you really mean that?”

“I do,” Mina said softly, “I always do Momo. You know this.”

A beat passed, long enough for Momo to become aware of her heart pounding. For her to observe the look of tenderness Mina had in her eyes, like she was simply just waiting for Momo to call the shots.

“Usually,” Momo mumbled quietly, feeling suddenly incredibly shy, like she was some sort of kid again, talking to the coolest girl in her class, “Sana holds me.”

Mina raised an eyebrow.

“But—” Momo felt her face burn, “I…I don’t think we’re quite there yet. A-at least…I-I’m not ready yet.” She was really doing a lot being as vulnerable as she was right now. Verbally stating a specific boundary wasn’t anything she really did, since Sana knew them like the back of her hand, it was easy to let Sana simply take the lead. But Sana wasn’t there at this moment, because Momo just wanted her to rest.

“Okay,” Mina nodded, incredibly understanding and receptive, “So…what can I do then?”

“Ah—” Momo sighed, feeling even more shy, though this felt pretty fitting for how bad she was at verbalizing these things, “You know…I love to wear you and Sana’s clothes a lot. I think we’ve gotten into a pretty bad habit of just sharing our closets.”

“I’ve noticed,” Mina agreed mirthfully, eyes twinkling, “You both look very good in my clothes.”

Momo barked out a laugh, short and a tad bit nervous. But she relaxed a bit, because Mina was still simply just being her typical flirtatious self. She could see the way Mina noted this.

“…I feel better right now because your room smells like you,” Momo admitted, “I guess I just have a sensitive nose, what with the cooking career and everything. Smells are important to me. Right now, your room smells so much like you—” Momo felt herself blush, “Like your sandalwood. Your touch of lemon. And a hint of sweetness—Sana always says a touch of sweet. I know its really almond, that bleeds into the sandalwood. Woody, citrusy, and sweet.”

“Smells, huh,” Mina observed, “So, being in my room is helping?”

“A bit,” Momo nodded.

“What if—” Mina tried before stopping herself, biting her lip in deep thought.

“You can suggest something,” Momo insisted, gripping the comforter, “I’m all ears.”

“What if I just…laid down with you?” Mina offered, “Just…because I showered today and…”

“You smell like you,” Momo softly chuckled out, “You don’t have to ask permission to sleep in your own bed.”

“But I’m asking if I can sleep on my bed, with you,” Mina emphasized, “Because maybe it’ll help if like…my smell is a bit stronger.”

“Just lay down,” Momo smiled softly, because Mina and her weren’t strangers to sharing places to sleep, but the intention of Mina ensuring Momo was okay was everything to her.

“Can you keep the light on though?” Momo suddenly pleaded when she saw Mina reach for the switch of the lamp, “I…I don’t want to be in the dark right now.”

“Okay,” Mina complied, simply laying back into her pillow, bed dipping at her weight. Laying close enough Momo could feel Mina’s hair brush against the skin of her arm, but far enough there was no other real contact. The lamp was dim, Momo felt the shuffle of the comforter as Mina sank further into it. Momo laid flat on her back, staring up to the ceiling of Mina’s room. She hung around here less often than people might think. Mina loved her personal space and neither Sana nor Momo were ever offended by that.

“I’m sorry,” Momo suddenly spoke, her voice coming out much quieter now that it had been silent for some time, not even fully sure if Mina was awake.

She was a bit relieved to hear her hum. “For what?”

“Just…I know you like your private time,” Momo mumbled, turning her body, till she was facing Mina on the bed. Mina simply craned her neck to look to Momo, back still laying flat on the bed. Mina gave a small smile, Momo watched as it curled over her features, eyes shaping into crescents of the moon outside. That always felt fitting, Mina being the moon.

“Oh Momo—” Mina whispered with a specific affection that made Momo’s heart always skip a beat when she used it on her. But really, what made Momo’s heart turn was the way this specific voice was used exclusively for Momo. Full of unbridled affection and gentleness. “I’d give up any and every moment of my free time just to see you smile.”

Momo could feel the tears welling up again, but it was late and she’s exhausted more than anything else. Instead, she does exactly what would make Mina the most content—she gave her a smile, a real one. Its shy and tight lipped, but genuine all the same with the way Momo’s chest begins to warm. Without really thinking, Momo reached out, unmoving from her spot but beneath the comforter she searched, carefully.

Mina caught onto the ruffle, eyeing down to the blankets without missing a beat. And Momo is very relieved Mina seemed to have caught onto Momo’s language in half the time, because its incredibly reassuring when Momo feels Mina’s hand brush up against her own, finger grazing each other first. She could hear the way Mina drew a small breath, Momo was always so cold. But with a specific confidence, Momo felt Mina’s fingers grab her own, firmly but gentle. Lacing them together and holding her steady.

Momo felt her body relax. They don’t move any closer, Momo didn’t want nor need that right now. What she needed through all of this was a semblance of stability. Sana would gladly give Momo anything and everything if she could, and Momo loves her everyday for this. But this is different—its Mina. The one who read through both their life stories in less than half the time it took for Sana and Momo to read through the entirety of each other. While Sana and Momo lived it, Mina is simply just learning as she goes. She took it well every time.

Momo finally felt her eyes grow heavier a bit after Mina turned her head back, peacefully watching quietly as Mina finally let herself fall asleep for a bit. To see Mina in such a state, hand limp but still holding Momo, breathing slow and relaxed, Momo finally let her own exhaustion overwhelm her. She fell asleep to the scent of sandalwood, citrus, and sweetness. Next to Mina.

March 20th, 1995. Approximate time, 6:34 AM

“Why’s her light on—?”

Momo’s eyes shot open once more, sitting straight up at the sound of a voice. She blinked a few times, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She only felt a tad bit confused for maybe three seconds before the events of a few hours ago replayed in her brain.

“Whoooooa—” Jihyo’s voice was apparent enough to snap Momo out of her brain fog. “Momo? Why are you in Mina’s bed?”

Momo felt her face burn. “You’re making it sound weird,” Momo whined, flopping back down onto the mattress, dragging the comforter over herself to block out some of the sunlight seeping in. “…What time is it?”

“6:34,” Jihyo shrugged, Momo was aware of the baby she was carrying in her arms, “Where’s Mina?’

“She—” Momo remembered it was Mina’s day off today, “She probably went jogging.”

“Jogging?” Jihyo scoffed in disbelief, “Like for fun? By herself? By her own choice—”

“Are you always this energetic before 7 AM?” Momo questioned with a curious tilt, peeking through the comforter, “Teach me your ways.”

“Its Taehyun’s thing—” Jihyo insisted, “He’s an early bird kinda guy. Pretty cool I guess. Except I don’t sleep much at all.”

“So…” Jihyo trailed, simply standing by the door, “So why exactly are you asleep on Mina’s bed? Because—I’m not trying to be pushy…but like…the only two people I know who share a bed with each other are my unnies—”

Momo kind of did see a touch of similarity with her and Jihyo. A bit socially restrained, Momo wasn’t always the most talkative like Sana, she was always to herself. Always afraid of saying the wrong thing and afraid of reactions. Jihyo isn’t afraid per say, but she’s definitely trying to use her limited social skills to make sense of something new. And her skills are definitely limited.

Momo can feel her ears burn at Jihyo’s implication.

“I fell asleep here because we were up late last night talking,” Momo clarified, looking to study Jihyo carefully, “Because…I-I was having trouble sleeping, really. It…its more my thing.”

Jihyo had a flash of understanding. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Momo breathed a bit easier, “Sometimes, I don’t sleep well. Too many thoughts.”

“Whenever I get like that—” Jihyo mused, her tone soft. For most people, her tone going this gentle would have thrown them off, but for Momo, and the small little routine they were beginning to develop in the morning, this wasn’t anything different. “I usually find Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Last year…I ended up sleeping on their bed a lot with them. It was…” She struggled, trying to find the right word.

“Comforting?” Momo tried, crawling closer to the edge of Mina’s bed.

“Safe,” Jihyo decided on. She blinked a bit, eyebrows furrowing slightly as she looked back to Momo. “Is that what Mina is to you?” She suddenly questioned, “Your safe place?”

Its really not that big deal of a question but something in Jihyo’s tone made Momo stutter.

“I-I mean—” Momo tried and failed, miserably, “Really, I-I mean its just—its like—we—”

“Its a simple question,” Jihyo’s tone went back to deadpan, “Like…yes or no?”

“I-I—” Momo continued to struggle, “Just…well…one of. Yes.”

“Makes sense,” Jihyo nodded understandingly, “Something about her makes me want to keep being around her. She’s cool, I guess.”

“She is,” Momo agreed wholeheartedly, feeling a little lost in thought, “Really cool. And patient. And kind. And beautiful—”

“Now you’re being weird,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, “I mean…yes, all that is true I-I guess. But like, this is why I can’t believe you’re straight. Not when you act like this.”

Something about that statement made Momo twitch. Not in discomfort, but in deep thought. Very deep thought.

“Huh,” Momo breathed out, “I do act like this a lot, don’t I?”

“You do,” Jihyo sighed, “About Mina and Sana. Its weird—you guys are weird.”

Weird.

“Is weird always a bad thing, though?”

“Well…no,” Jihyo clarified, “But well, maybe its not bad because its you. You’re sort of really weird Momo. I dunno if any one has told you that.”

“I am,” Momo agreed, “Mina and Sana love it though,” She stuck her tongue out, as Jihyo stared at her with an incredulous expression, “So maybe I’m doing something right.”

“Why the hell did you stick your tongue out at me?” Jihyo snipped, following her out Mina’s bedroom.

Chapter Text

May 2nd, 1995. Approximate time, 7:34 AM

“Man,” Jeongyeon whistled, as Momo and her walked around the grocery store, bright and early, before the sun was even ready to rise, “For someone who’s just learning, you sure move fast,” Her teasing was always just that, teasing. Momo pouted regardless, feeling her ears burn.

“I’m kidding,” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, but even Momo could see the light trace of a blush over her cheeks, “But I can’t even lie…that sounded really hot.”

“It was…something, alright,” Momo muttered, dragging the basket behind her, rolling it on the ground as they searched the aisles. “I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Is it weird right now then?” Jeongyeon questioned, “At home?”

“Its…shifted,” Momo admitted, “I’m kind of in my own little world, but Mina seems distracted and Sana is dazed. And I can’t lie…we kind of just…linger around.”

Jeongyeon clicked her tongue, scratching around the scar that had formed near the bridge of her nose, it was still white and discolored in comparison to the rest of her tanned skin. “Sounds like it sucks,” She shook her head.

“I mean,” Momo tried, “Its shifting, sure. But…its still Sana. Its still Mina. They still greet me every morning, I still make sure they eat. We still watch television or smoke outside together. We still make jokes, we still laugh.”

“How are you feeling then?” Jeongyeon asked curiously, “I mean…it has to be a lot for you to take in at once?”

“It sort of is,” Momo nodded, exhaling a big sigh, shoulders dropping, “I feel like I’m overstimulating myself. But…it feels….good.”

“Good?” Jeongyeon questioned.

“Like…I’m making the decision to do this to myself,” Momo explained, “I’m the one who asked Sana to kiss me, I’m the one who reassured Mina I wanted this. And my head was spinning, and something in me was feeling…” Momo blushed, “Something. But that’s what made me know I wanted this. Because its them.”

“So what now?” Jeongyeon asked, they gazed around the wines, Jeongyeon reading the ingredients carefully.

“Try black raspberry,” Momo suggested, reaching out and grabbing a bottle, “This one isn’t too tart. Most foods here are more savory, you don’t need tart. Chill it before opening it for best results.”

“Man,” Jeongyeon chuckled, taking the bottle, “Let a woman read, dude.”

“My bad,” Momo said unapologetically, “I didn’t know you didn’t want the advice from the chef. Cool.”

“Ah,” Jeongyeon clicked her tongue, rolling her eyes, “You’re so dramatic. You kiss two women and suddenly you think you know everything, huh?”

Jeongyeon was a rough teaser, Momo was sensitive. But a piece of her liked it, Momo kind of enjoyed that Jeongyeon would give it to her straight up, with no regard, because it made Momo feel…normal. Like she was just someone Jeongyeon knew in her life, a neighbor and a friend. Someone Jeongyeon joked with, not the woman who saved her life, not the woman with the abusive childhood.

“No,” Momo protested, “I took years of apprenticeships, that’s why I know about wines. And besides, have you even touched a woman either?”

Jeongyeon’s ears went pink. Momo found it funny, she wouldn’t have expected Jeongyeon to blush so lightly.

“I touch a woman,” Jeongyeon argued, “On basically every spot except there. But at least I have a woman touching me.”

“Oh,” Momo rolled her eyes, “Low blow dude.”

“You could have double the experience,” Jeongyeon taunted, “If you just hiked up your pants and admitted it.”

“Admitted what?” Momo questioned.

“Momo,” Jeongyeon sighed, shaking her head slightly, “You have not one, but two women wrapped around your finger. I don’t know if its denial, or you’re just ignoring it, but they want you—badly.”

“Ugh,” Momo brought a hand to her face, “Don’t say that.”

“Say what?” Jeongyeon argued, “The truth? Because that’s what it is. You have two women—beautiful, might I add—who want to kiss you. Who would probably jump at the opportunity to do more with you, and you’re doing…nothing about it?”

“I’m scared,” Momo simply confessed, feeling like circling around the truth wasn’t going to make it any better, “I’m scared because…what if I don’t enjoy it? What if I went through all of this, for nothing? Just to reject them, at my most vulnerable? Do you understand how terrifying that is?”

“Let me tell you a story,” Jeongyeon linked their arms together, guiding Momo to absentmindedly walk down the aisles. Jeongyeon was about as tall as Sana, maybe just a hair taller, always wearing Doc Martens, always a tad bit dirty from her work. She had a slight limp that would probably never go away, but Jeongyeon didn’t really care. Her hair was now a bit past her shoulders, hanging loosely, a pair of sunglasses above her head, pushing her hair out of her face, wearing a choker that complimented her nicely. Momo could see the glint of the green barrette Sana must have given her sometime ago—keeping a piece of her bangs out of her face. “When Nayeon and I first started doing things, Nayeon didn’t like it. And I thought, fuck, I’m blowing my chances. Here I am, 16, with the woman of my dreams, and I’m fucking it up because she’s uncomfortable in the bedroom. And I thought it’d be the end of it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Momo confirmed.

“It wasn’t,” Jeongyeon agreed, “It was just the beginning. Some people are just like that. Nayeon is just like that, she’s more than her story, this has just been a part of who she is since we first started dating. She doesn’t like being pleasured like that, and I couldn’t get it, because I love being pleasured. She makes me feel good,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “She’s beautiful—she’s loving. She makes me feel good.”

“I make her feel things, too,” Jeongyeon continued, “I make her want to pleasure me, and that’s how she expresses her sexuality. And there’s nothing wrong with it, there’s someone for everyone.”

“Well I’m glad you guys found each other,” Momo nodded, “Its hard to imagine you two with anyone else that’s not each other.”

“And you see…” Jeongyeon said slowly, “When we think of you, we don’t think of you with Sana. Or with Mina. We see you with each other, Momo, Sana, and Mina. As a group. Its hard to imagine the two of you guys without the other.”

“I know,” Momo said quietly, “I always think the same, honestly. I know it was always just me and Sana for so long. But Mina came in and its like…I liked to spend my days with both of them. All together.”

Momo had just begun to realize the heaviness in that admittance.

“…What if I’m bad at it?”

“Then you’re bad at it,” Jeongyeon shrugged, “And they’ll tell you. And you deal with it.”

“What if…what if I panic?”

“Then you tell them to stop,” Jeongyeon said firmly, “You tell them to stop and they’ll stop, because they’ve always wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe.”

“You know my farmer friends?” Jeongyeon mentioned, “The lesbian farmers?”

“Yeah, I keep thinking their voices belong to the other one,” Momo chuckled, “How can that woman’s face be so cute but her voice so deep?”

“You know…they’ve had threesomes before.”

“Whoa—” Momo blinked a few times, “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon nodded slowly, “They’re open like that. Its not my thing, but its theirs. A relationship that invites someone to join occasionally. So you know…its not unheard of, to feel feelings for two people. Everything exists in the world.”

“Huh…” Momo trailed off, mind starting to think a little bit more.

“Thanks,” Momo added, giving Jeongyeon’s arm a gentle squeeze, “For listening. And helping me…I guess.”

“I mean you saved my life or whatever,” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes, “I guess its not the end of the world for me to give you advice on your romantic life.”

Momo snorted. “I have one more question.”

“Shoot,” Jeongyeon nodded.

“So…Sana described Nayeon as a touch-me-not,” Momo said carefully, feeling a bit embarrassed to be asking such a question, “So apparently, there’s words for everything in this culture. If Nayeon pretty much strictly gives, and you pretty much strictly receive…what’s the word for that?”

“Oh boy,” Jeongyeon groaned, “I figured this would come up. If I tell you—you cannot make fun of me.”

“I-I won’t?” Momo confusedly tried to promise, “Why would I?”

“Because,” Jeongyeon rolled her neck, Momo could see the pink blush on her cheeks, “…we’re called pillow princesses.”

“Princesses—?” Momo’s voice was already growing gleeful, “Oh my god—”

“Enough,” Jeongyeon hissed.

“You’re a princess!” Momo cooed, reaching up and pinching Jeongyeon’s cheeks, “How adorable!”

“Leave me alone hoe!” Jeongyeon slapped Momo’s hands but Momo couldn’t resist, giggling and teasing as they made their way to the checkout station.

May 2nd, 1995. Approximate time, 12:47 PM

“Hot damn,” Nayeon sat back into her chair, cheeks flushed as Sana finished her story, “Damn.”

“I know,” Sana felt her own cheeks burning, “I know, right?”

“Whooo,” Nayeon tugged at the collar of her button up shirt, loosening it slightly, exposing more of her collarbone, fanning herself, “Sana…that was hot just to hear.”

“I know, right,” Sana repeated, beginning to chew at her thumb nail, “It was even more insane to witness.”

“They kissed in front of you,” Nayeon was reeling, “They insisted you stay. Momo held your hand. They got carried away…in front of you—”

“I’m hopeless,” Sana brought her hands to her hair, leaning onto the desk with her elbows, “I’m so hopeless.”

“No, no,” Nayeon shook her head, “This is good, this is good Sana.”

“To be turned on by watching two people?” Sana questioned, “That’s actually scandalous.”

“No,” Nayeon shook her head, opening her desk drawer, “Its just more than one love.”

“Huh?”

“Sana,” Nayeon rolled her eyes, “You cannot tell me you haven’t heard of the term polyamory, it was coined already three years ago.”

“I-I mean I guess I kind of briefed over it,” Sana weakly said, “But—”

“Sana, you love so much,” Nayeon opened her notepad, flipping through a few pages, “You somehow get happiness from watching two people you love be happy. This isn’t uncommon, I mean, I get happiness seeing Jihyo with her kids, I’m feeling emotional at the sight of someone else. That’s normal. You feel that too, but you seem to be a sensitive type. You all seem to be.”

“What are you saying?” Sana questioned.

“I’m saying,” Nayeon set her notepad down, “Have you ever thought your feelings are confusing because you feel like you need to pick one? Why not just…suggest both of them?”

“Because, because—” Sana scoffed out, shaking her head, “Because that’s not what my family has. Its two people in love, so deeply in love, its painful to want to have the same.”

“Sana,” Nayeon repeated, placing her hand over Sana’s, nearly making her hand disappear. Nayeon’s stare was so very intense, Sana still felt so small beneath it. Maybe it was because Nayeon was older, maybe it was because behind her analytics, Nayeon looked like a woman who had lived a hell of a life, like she had much more than intellectual knowledge behind her eyes. She had emotional knowledge, life experience, and a hell of a lot of wisdom. “You could have the same—you could meet one man or woman, who will sweep you off your feet. Who can say all the right things, who makes you feel whole. But…when I suggest that, I bet you get nervous. Because you can’t pick a face to fill the void, you think of two. You think about how Momo cooks for you, how she always makes you laugh. You think about Mina who takes care of you, how she defends you.”

“…I don’t like how accurate you are,” Sana whined.

“You have every opportunity to have a relationship like your parents—dedicated young love. You have every opportunity to even have it doubled, but you are so afraid you are letting this pass by you,” Nayeon scolded gently, patting Sana’s hand, “And then what? You’re going to be happy being alone?”

“What if it messes everything up?”

“What if it doesn’t?” Nayeon countered Sana’s doubts with such a simple question, “What if its the best decision you’ve ever made?”

“The statistics for it don’t sound plausible enough,” Sana frowned, “There’s so many more variables.”

“And I bet each variable can be stabilized or even simply reasoned with,” Nayeon shrugged, “And with the way you are, I don’t think this is something to be compared to the norm. I think this is more of an outlier than anything—something that succeeds despite all other results.”

“What if they don’t feel the way I feel?”

“Mina literally admitted to it,” Nayeon pointed out, “Momo was willing to kiss Mina in front of you. There’s a higher chance of her being open to it than there is her being against it.”

“What if one of them wants to back out?”

“Then they back out,” Nayeon shrugged, “That can’t be helped. But I have a feeling things wouldn’t really change between you all. You care far too much for each other.”

“Momo…” Sana trailed.

“That’s a thing you need to discuss,” Nayeon shook her head, “She’s made it pretty clear—she wanted to kiss you. She wanted to kiss Mina. She likes cuddling you, she likes holding your hand. So she’s a bit of a bambi, there’s someone for everyone. She might just be like that because she’s never experienced anything. But she already pushed her limits because she wanted to. In fact, she wanted you to be the first one to do it, because she trusts more than anyone else in the world. Do you understand how special that is, Sana?”

“I just don’t want to hurt her,” Sana blinked away her tears, “I don’t want to hurt either of them.”

“Mina pushed all of this to the side for the sake of your happiness,” Nayeon frowned, “She kept you grounded, she figured out the pieces because she’s such an intelligent young woman. She’s growing so beautifully—don’t let her stray away.” Nayeon sounded very firm, “I love that woman like my own kid at this point, she’s someone who Jihyo holds so close, the last thing I want is for her to be hurt.”

“And you’re trusting me to not do that?” Sana frowned.

“I am,” Nayeon nodded, “You and Momo. Because you guys are a package deal and because I know you don’t have a malicious bone in your body. You have a shit ton of sexually charged ones—” Sana barked out a laugh, feeling embarrassed but smiling regardless, “But not a single bad one. That’s why Momo trusts you, that’s why Mina would have given up her chances with either of you if that’s what you pleased. They want you happy.”

Sana let Nayeon’s words sink in. “She defends you once and its hard to want to let her go, huh?”

“She deserves to have love in ways she’s missing it in,” Nayeon said lightly.

“How…how are you so okay?” Sana tried to word herself as best as she could, “With all of this? With the idea of more than just two people…loving…like that?”

Nayeon hummed, legs crossed, arms resting on her armrests, glancing to the ceiling in deep thought. The question must have struck a chord, or shocked something deep, because Sana saw Nayeon as someone who seemed to know exactly what to say at the perfect time. She didn’t stumble the way Sana did, she didn’t make inappropriate comments without realizing and she always knew where her pens were, even in the worst of her messes.

“When I realized I was different—“ Nayeon stopped, shaking her head, “Gay. I should stop dancing around it around you, really. When I began to understand my feelings for Jeongyeon, all those years ago, I was disgusted with myself. Truthfully. And Jeongyeon knows it, I tried to keep a distance but that didn’t last very long at all, because of everyone I had ever met thus far in life never made me feel as seen as her. And it was a lot of me coming to terms with it, unlearning so much bullcrap put in my head.”

“When I accepted me, for who I am, as a gay woman, I also opened doors and accepted that the people I surrounded myself with were also going to be different. How could I embrace self-acceptance and in the same breath reject something outside the norm? Its counteractive.”

Nayeon leaned in once more, closer, taking Sana’s hands into hers once more, holding them tight. Firm. Loving. Like she was pouring every reassuring emotion she could muster into that singular touch. Sana thought about how lucky Jeongyeon and Jihyo were to have Im Nayeon in their lives. Not someone like her, but her.

“It may not be for me but its for you,” Nayeon explained, “And you are lovely, Sana. Passionate, caring, ambitious. You are a queer woman discovering love outside the norm and its beautiful.”

Sana felt like she did her best to hold back the tears, but knowing how she really was, they were pouring out of her before she even realized they were coming down.

“Besides,” Nayeon chuckled, leaning back onto her seat crossing her arms and smirking, “I think you have a lot of steam you need to blow off.” Sana barked out another laugh, loudly so.

“I’m so pent up,” Sana blushed, burying her face into her hands, wiping her face, “Its so ridiculous.”

They continued to laugh, discussing a few topics here and there. To them, to discuss these so brazenly wasn’t a struggle. From an outsider looking in, such as the student who happened to pass by while looking for their TA, they would slow down slightly. He’d listen curiously to the two women talking, except, he wouldn’t be able to decipher a single word they were saying.

It wasn’t Korean, it definitely wasn’t Japanese. He wouldn’t even be able to use his limited Mandarin knowledge either, it wasn’t any of those languages at all. It sounded much more choppy, but it wasn’t English, he had studied abroad for two semesters, this wasn’t English.

The two women would continue to laugh, clapping their hands loudly because it appeared neither of them had an inside voice.

How strange, he’d shake his head, because for sure one was Korean by her features, and his best guess was the other one was Japanese. So why the hell were they speaking in Spanish?

May 2nd, 1995. Approximate time, 1:48 PM

“I mean, I’m glad you feel comfortable sharing it with me…but ew.”

“Sorry,” Mina burned, feeling Taehyun tugged at her shirt, babbling, “I got carried away.”

“Yeah, you did,” Jihyo snorted, “How was it, though?”

“I mean,” Mina blushed, “I’d like to think it went good.”

“Then keep going,” Jihyo shrugged.

“I don’t think—”

“I don’t care what you think unnie,” Jihyo rolled her eyes, hissing slightly as Yunjin began to grab her hair, pulling it hard, “Ow, ow, Yunjin—no. Stop. That hurts.” She struggled taking her daughter’s grip out but eventually managed, “I miss San.”

“He’s so good with the babies,” Mina cooed, “What a gentleman.”

“His hair isn’t long enough for Yunjin to reach,” Jihyo snarked, “I need his short hair.”

“But anyway,” Jihyo went back onto the topic, “You always keep telling me what you think. You think stupid though, you’re always in your head about these things. Why don’t you ever just go for it?”

“Because I don’t want to hurt anyone in the process,” Mina confessed, “I want them to be happy in any way I can make them happy.”

“But it seems the best things happened when you didn’t think and just…felt,” Jihyo pointed out, “Letting Sana kiss you because of an impulsive decision you made. Agreeing to kiss Momo. Spilling your feelings to Momo, telling Sana to just enjoy what you guys can. You are so good when you’re impulsive, and instead you try to think these things through and it blows up in your face.”

“I can’t keep living my life with impulsive decisions,” Mina protested, “At some point, I need to think about the consequences.”

“You weren’t meant to think about consequences,” Jihyo shrugged, “I wasn’t either. I live and I learn, that’s how I’ll grow up. Will it bite me in the ass sometimes? Probably, but I’m not the kind to think. That’s Nayeon-unnie’s job.”

“Is it the smartest idea to take advice from your teen mom?” Mina looked to Taehyun curiously who only stared at her back with his huge eyes, the same that made Mina think of Jihyo, “Four years my junior at that?”

“Its either me or you dive into this headfirst alone,” Jihyo scoffed, “Which, it kind of the same thing. But I think I have some good stuff to say.”

Chapter Text

February 21st, 1995. Approximate time, 1:42 AM

One last night out was the plan. Because the last two days were going to be dedicated to ensuring the remainder of their items were properly packaged, sorted, and organized. Momo and Mina already knew Sana wasn’t going to be able to focus if something else was on her mind, so getting this out of her system was the best course of action.

For the most part, it had gone pretty much as normally as it always did. Sana’s make up was done up, Mina’s eyes were sparkly. Momo liked to watch both of them interact as the night went on. Because Sana spoke to anyone like she’d known them her whole life and Mina was a magnet for meeting some of the most interesting foreigners.

Sana’s hair was clipped up, Mina’s hair was in waves. Sana was wearing a white knit turtleneck, a black leather skirt, her legs bare along with a pair of black thigh heeled boots. Mina had been wearing a red blouse, a leather jacket over, a denim skirt. Wearing black pumps and black stockings. Momo distinctly remembered both of their outfits, because they had looked equally as beautiful, of course, Momo kind of always thought they looked a specific level of breath taking. Could she tell you what she was wearing this night? Absolutely not. Because her eyes had been on them two the whole night.

Its not that she didn’t enjoy getting drunk, if anything, Momo loved a good night out as much as the next person. But maybe it was the realization setting in, how everything in their lives was about to take a major shift, she downed way more shots than usual. Maybe it was a bit of nerves, but Momo couldn’t really find it in herself to let loose like she usually did.

So instead, she watched them. Sana and Mina, as they went about as they usually did. On the dancefloor, dancing with strangers, laughing with people they had just met. While Momo simply sat by the bar, where one shot became three, then maybe like seven? Momo was far from a light-weight, but distractions were everywhere.

It was 1:42 AM when Momo managed to wrangle both Sana and Mina back into the truck. And Momo wasn’t dumb, she knew when they blacked out. Sana had blacked out once a year ago and Momo found out because she couldn’t recall the last five minutes of conversation they had just engaged in. Mina blacked out and Momo could tell because everything she was thinking came out, absolutely no regret nor memory of it would come up the next day. And it was pretty standard, Momo’s pretty sure she’d blacked out once or twice before, where Sana retold her about how Momo kept insisting she wasn’t drunk at all.

She would have tried to drive but Sana had other plans.

“Let’s look at the stars!” She pleaded, voice incredibly slurred, linking her arm onto Momo’s before she could turn the ignition. Momo always found Sana’s drunk voice to be way too cute, because for whatever reason she developed the slightest bit of a lisp.

“Oh!” Mina perked in the back seat, sitting up because she had already began to lay down, “Yes! I second that!”

“Right now?” Momo snickered, definitely not anywhere close to blacking out but feeling a lot more comfortable in her own skin than usual. “We’re in a random lot.”

“And the sky is clear!” Sana pleaded, pointing out the window, “C’mon! Its one of our last nights in Japan!”