Chapter Text
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It was 2272. They were 14.
The chatter from the quaint cafeteria bounced around the kids of Vault 101 as lunch went on like usual. The boys crowded at one table while the pair of daddy’s girls shared the spacious luxury of one. Mei was fiddling with a knob on her pip boy while Amata chirped about some book she was reading. It was no Grognak, but the occupied teen nodded and hummed along in interest, entranced eyes not leaving her pip.
She was suddenly cut from her curious maneuvers. “What are you even trying to do?”
Mei sighed and slid her worn pip boy across the cold steel of the table to Amata, pointing to the volume dial. “No matter how high I have this thing cranked up, it’s still quiet as hell. I think I must’ve broken it or something.”
Her friend twisted it back and forth, humming in recognition. “Aw, man. That stinks.” She looked up, adding a tease, “Is a loop of the same 5 jazz tracks really something you find yourself jamming out to at full blast, though?”
“Shush. It helps me focus.” Her cool cheek rested in her palm. “I do wish we had more music down here, though. Palmer’s singing makes my head hurt.”
They both giggled at that. Mei sighed and out of the cushy red diner chair and stood, “I’m gonna keep trying, though. Gotta go find a screwdriver.”
Amata waved her off and sank into the booth with her book in her arms. Her vacant lunch tray remained next to Mei’s beloved pip boy on the table. It was good to see Amata comfortable. They always found it nerve racking being around the boys without one another. Or Butch, more specifically. He just didn’t quit.
After a few minutes of poking around in rooms and lockers, Mei managed to scramble a worn down screwdriver on the floor of the boys bathroom. Nobody should have been coming in there. It was lunchtime, and all the adults would be working or lounging about doing nothing. That’s why she jolted up at the sound of creaky footsteps. The screwdriver lurched out of her hand and clattered right back onto the floor, startling her even more.
“Loitering around in the boys room? Man, you’re one nasty chick.”
Butch crept a few steps towards her, a pip boy in his hand. The haughty smirk never left his face. She sighed, crouching down to pick up the screwdriver before it was kicked away, scattering across the tiles into the wall.
“Hey!” She glared, already becoming more aggravated than she would’ve liked.
He held out her pip boy and shook it to the side, tilting his head at her. “What, you want this?”
Ugh, what the fuck. She lurched and swept her arm out towards her belonging, failing to grasp it as he stepped back. He barked out a laugh like it was funny, his eyebrows furrowing together. “Aww, too slow, girl.”
She stood up, grabbing his wrist firmly in stride. “Give me my shit.”
She interrupted herself with a little gasp when he yanked his wrist away and shoved her with his free hand, her back slamming against a hard metal pilaster of the bathroom stalls.
“First you’re creeping around the boys room, and now you’re touching people? What would the Overseer think about that?”
She shook her head, “God, you’re such an asshole, Butch. Give it back.”
He went quiet, taking a smug step back. Then he brought down the screen of her pip-boy down against the rim of a sink, hard. Something snapped in her at the cracking of the screen and made her start to lose it. “What the hell is your problem?! Stop!” She darted over and gripped it with force, yanking it towards her. Tug of war over a damn pip-boy.
“What? You gonna cry?”
“No.”
“Cry to mommy? Oh, wait…”
Her knuckle seethed and crackled against the nerve of his jaw, stunning him into silence. Good. He should be afraid. He should know not to ever talk about that. Mei was pulled from the weak clutch of victory when his face twisted into fury and he jerked the pip-boy into the air, harshly slamming it across her cheek. Her knees nearly buckled under her while her head throbbed in pain, her quivering hand grasping the sink as she gasped. Through her dizzying gaze she saw the pip-boy hit the ground. Her other hand went up to trace her now swelling cheekbone, the press of her fingers sending stabs of regret straight to her temples. Holy shit, she was bleeding. He took some of her fucking skin off. She gawked up at him in disbelief, no longer feeling any pride at the red swelling that accented his jaw. For just a moment, it almost looked like he was shocked too. No, though. He sneered at her, a mean snarl twisting on his lips.
“Yeah, bitch. You’re lucky I don’t swirl your ugly face in the toilet.” He mocked, kicking the pip-boy towards her on the ground. “All yours.”
That fucking grin. He always looked like such a psychopath. A stupid, punchable psychopath. Then he would leave, like he won something. Or proved something. To himself or to whoever he was tormenting was unclear. Everyone just knew he was a piece of shit.
She didn’t even remember to grab the screwdriver or check the screen. She just slid her pip-boy back onto her arm and sat there on the floor for a minute, waiting for the motivation to get back up again and keep going like the emptiness and shame she felt didn’t matter.
Of course later that night she would angle her face funny when talking to her Dad. He instantly asked about the new marking and had none of it. She was starting to feel more and more stupid with his gentle treatment. She was only a kid, but she felt like she shouldn't be comforted. She could comfort herself with a bandaid, or by ignoring it. Unfortunately for her, that wouldn’t be easy with a Dad who was a perceptive and loving doctor. He walked her to his clinic with a hand on her back and pat the back of his office chair.
“Here. Sit down, honey.”
She sighed and hunched into the leather, her legs spread as she just barely spun and turned it left to right. She couldn’t sit still for the life of her. Just like dad. He looked tired, like he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before. Soft creases adorned the space below his eyes like they belonged there. Mei frowned as he started to rummage through a cabinet above her head.
“It’s really not that bad.” She glanced away sheepishly, crossing her arms while he tilted her face to examine the pink, hurt flesh of her cheekbone. “I can just put a band-aid on it.”
He shook his head calmly, “No, no. You don’t want it to get infected, you know that. That’s injuries 101.”
His light rebuttal managed to make a hint of a smile lift on her tired, pale face. She hadn’t been crying or anything like that, thankfully. He still hated to see her like this. He hated even more how she was starting to try and hide it from him. “Hey.”
She blinked up at him, still awkwardly swaying in the chair. It squeaked a few more times before she stilled, “Mhm?”
He squeezed some antiseptic into a cloth, never taking his easy eyes off of his daughter. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hide things from me, kiddo.”
She sighed and closed her eyes, head hanging a little as she dropped the act. That was quick. He carefully slid his hand back under her chin to angle her cheek towards him again, bringing the cool chemicals soaked in cotton against her flesh. “I just wanted you to know that.” He added with a little smile, gently patting her shoulder as she sucked in a breath at the sting.
“I do.” Mei glanced at him, feeling guilty when he smiled at her like that. “I’m not trying to hide anything. I’m just…embarrassed.” She rubbed her arms again, “And I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
The hand on her shoulder gave it a tender squeeze, reminding her that he was there. “What happened, sweetheart?”
“You know what happened.” She deflected.
He lightly chuckled, “I probably could guess, yes. But I’d still like to hear it from you.” He soothed over her cheek with cool water, peeking at her past his arm. “Come on.”
“It’s just Butch. He…took my pip-boy after I left it on the table at lunch. He wouldn’t give it back.” She tilted her wrist towards him, showing the crack in the screen. The ridge of it even had some blood on it. “Look, he was just…being really mean. And…”
She looked down at the pip-boy, a sorry, conflicted expression creeping onto her face. “He made a joke about Mom.” She didn’t stop or take in his surprised, pitying look. “So we hit eachother. It’s fine, I got the pip-boy back. Everything’s over, I don’t care.”
Her voice died down when a deep sigh left her old man, his hand setting down the cloth on the table next to her. Should she not have told him? Was it Mom? Was he mad that she fought back? She tightly held herself and tried not to keep going, her eyes flickering between his face and her feet.
“I’m sorry, honey.” He murmured, putting a careful hand on hers. “You shouldn’t have to hear things like that. Or be treated like that. Especially at this age.”
“Sorry.”
He tilted his head, concern etched in his brows, “For what?”
“The Mom thing. I feel bad talking about her.” I feel bad for taking her away from you. She gnawed on her bottom lip and squeezed his hand back. He was so cold.
“Oh, Mei. You don’t have to feel bad. I talk about her all the time. And I think about her every day.” He tucked a loose hair behind her ear, a little smile poking onto his weary face. “You’re starting to look like her, you know that?”
She nervously smiled back, her heart hurting in her chest. “I mean, no. It’s not like we have pictures.”
He rolled his eyes, ruffling her hair. “Got that mouth of hers, too.”
He tilted her face again, shaking his head as his thumb gently rubbed under the swelling skin. It was almost unnerving, seeing his little girl injured like that. In a vault, no less. The place he took her to be safe and happy from the harshness waiting above. “What’s wrong with that kid? Hitting a girl like that.”
“I hate him.”
He tried to suppress the little grin on his lips. “Hey now.”
“What? I do.”
She squeamishly close her eyes as his thumb pressed some cream onto the welt. “He’s not a pleasant kid, no. But you’re strong.” He tilted her head up by her chin.
“I’m not strong.”
His heart broke a little. Every 14 year old should feel strong. Like they’re on top of the world. That’s all he wanted, was for her to be happy. “Oh, yes you are. You’re so strong. You didn’t even complain while I treated you.” He jested, pressing a band-aid over her cheek. He was done? She didn’t even realize.
“Dad…” She groaned.
He hesitated, eyes softening on her. She was growing up too fast for him. “I’m sorry.” His hand framed her sore cheek. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
She pursed her lips, deciding what words would make him worry the least. “I am.”
They rested together quietly, both their minds wandering elsewhere in the comfort of the clinic. She nestled her face into his hand and squeezed her eyes shut, letting his thumb trace up and down her face.
“It just hurts.” She said after a second, gazing down at his hand.
His hand retreated from her in hesitation, “Your cheek?”
“What? No, no.” She rubbed the back of her neck. Guilt filled her, like she was saying a curse word. “The mom stuff.”
He stayed quiet, tilting his head in concern.
She shook her head at herself and looked up at him, finding herself unable to sit still again. “I don’t know.” Her elbow found the armrest of the chair and her knuckles came to her lips, quieting herself. “I can't stop thinking about it.” She whispered.
“Oh, honey…”
Her head shook again, like she was forcing herself not to engage. “Why? Why me, why us, you know? Why did I have to kill her?”
Both of his hands found her face, squeezing her lovingly, his put-together demeanor cracking at her guilt. “Don’t say that.” He picked up a cleanish towel from the corner of the desk, bringing it to wipe a tear that had escaped down her face. “We knew the risks before we had you. It could’ve happened to anyone.”
“But she still would’ve been alive. With you. I took her from you.” Her voice cracked, any attempt she had planned on making not to fall apart crumbling. James suddenly sunk down from his chair and crouched on his knees in front of her chair, his hands taking hers. Now they were both on the verge of tears. Mei almost froze, startled to see him like that. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him shaken up or misty-eyed. She bit her quivering lip, her hands starting to tremble in his. She hated crying in front of him. “You two would’ve been happy.” She croaked.
“I am happy.” He stopped her, his voice a whisper. “I’m so happy, Mei.”
She shook her head side to side, tears dribbling and falling onto her thighs and the floor.
“I am.” He declared again, words not faltering once.
She squeezed his hand tightly, as if to apologize. To comfort him, too. “But you were happy with her.”
“Yes, I was.” He squeezed back, interlacing his fingers in hers. “And now I have a baby girl. A brilliant, hilarious, beautiful baby girl. I couldn’t be happier.” His face crinkled, fading into a watery smile, his eyes glistening with tears. “She would be so proud of you.”
Proud. Her free hand reached up to swipe at her eyes, the pinky side of her palm trembling as it collected her weeping. She nodded down at him, unable to say anything back yet. She could only sit and shake. Warmth enveloped her when he rose to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. A soft sob jumped out of her lips before she pressed them to his shoulder. Meek hiccups and gasps echoed around the walls and broke the scientist's heart. He carded a hand through her hair and held her, his stubbled cheek wedging onto her head and keeping her warm. “It’s okay.” He soothed his fingers up and down, his other hand wiping her sopping face while he hushed. “I’m right here, honey.”
He wasn’t going anywhere. She had him, and that was enough. She managed to nod through her hyperventilating, her hands clenched on his lap coat like he would let go of her if she didn’t. They both clung to eachother like that for a while. They didn’t care if anyone walked past, if they had anything to do, what time it was. They cared about eachother, and that was all they had. Nothing else mattered to either of them but the other. Nothing or anybody could ever take that from them. The love they had for eachother was a relentless, powerful force. Everyone in the vault knew that. Somewhere deep down, all of them longed for love like that. Love and support mattered to her more than anything. It was the only thing that felt real all her life. The only thing that kept her going in the suffocation and endless loops of restriction held by the vault walls. No matter the situation, something in her always drove her to do the right thing. Just like her old man.
Maybe that was why all those years later, when Butch was begging Mei to save his Mom from the roaches during the craze of Vault 101, she accepted.
“I would call this ironic if you knew what it meant.” She ignored him, quickly reloading her childhood BB gun with shaky, blood hands. She had just experienced her first kill; one of the Overseers guards that tried to shoot her while she was escaping her room. Of course the moment could become even worse.
Butch’s face was coated in sweat, a hand clenching in his hair and making it a mess. “I- come on, it’s my Mom!”
Mei deeply sighed, her voice also wavering under the horrible stress of the situation. “I need to get out of here. Do it yourself.”
“Is it because of all that stuff I said when we were kids? I- come on. you know I never meant any of that it, right?”
“When we were kids? Butch, you were just fucking with me and Amata the other day!”
“Right, but it wasn’t serious. I mean, we probably haven’t had a fist fight in like, a year!” He frantically begged again, his hands clasped together like a cartoon character. “Please, I don’t know what I would do without my Mom.”
She shoved past him harshly, her hand knocking him off balance by his shoulder. “Where is she?”
He lit up, eyes shooting open. “My mom? I- you’re gonna-“
“Just tell me where she is, Butch, oh my god.”
He ran down the hall without hesitation, his shaking hand pointing through one of the few open doors in the vault. His breaths shook in relief, hushed by the blaring of the alarm system. “She’s in there! Please, you gotta help me.”
After Mei had taken care of the problem, Butch’s mom went to sit on the couch, hand clutching a bottle. She was ruffled. Whatever, hey. Now was the time to be drinking, Mei thought. As she was about to leave, her enemy halted in the doorway, looking half-way to tears. She froze, eyebrows knitting together.
“Oh my god, thank you! You’re the best! I just- I didn’t know what to do!”
She sighed and closed her eyes, allowing herself just a second to catch her breath. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not a psycho.”
He panted a few times and squeezed her into a quick, strange hug before pulling back. Obviously he didn’t really think about it or care, because he instantly went back to rambling. She raised an eyebrow at him as he shimmied off his jacket and shoved it into her arms with a big, dopey smile, “Here. I know it isn’t much, but I want you to have my Tunnel Snakes jacket. Go on, take it!”
She almost laughed, the whole interaction somehow seeming even less real than the horrible events about to unfold before her later. “I don’t want this.” She tried to give it back to him, snickering. It was ugly and tattered, and it probably smelled like shit, too. She knew she would never wear it for the life of her.
“I’m serious! Take it!” He waved his hands in declination, starting to laugh a little himself.
She rolled her eyes and held it in her hands, bringing the back of it behind her before she tied it around her waist by the sleeves. Then she reloaded her gun again, the way her fingers twisted around it making Butch stare. She peered up at him, his stance somehow endearing without a jacket. Now he was just in the dumb, organic suit, just as everyone else.
“Don’t expect me to wear this shit.” She smirked, gently pushing past him to walk towards the hallway.
“You say that now, but I know you’ll come around.”
It managed to bring a temporary smile to her face. She looked back at Butch from the doorway to him and his mom’s quarters and took in their expressions. Rattled gratitude. Neither of them were going to rat her out or place her into a blame box. She got that right away. He gave her a little nod, which she returned after a few moments. Then she stepped out and took on the rest of the day.
That was the last time she saw him for a month or two before what had just happened. From harassment, to saving moms, to getting haircuts. It was strange how things worked. Maybe it was just part of growing up. Maybe it was knowing something more was outside waiting beyond the small crater of the vault. But Mei would’ve never expected him leaving their home at her side.