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Chapter Text

Katniss would’ve never thought in a million years that she might make more money out of her voice than her hunting game.

The whole thing started by accident. She’d been hanging out with Madge, who’d recently started inviting her over and they tended to do their homework in her bedroom, Katniss taking the desk and Madge the bed.

On one said day, it’d gotten late as Madge gently asked about the woods, going silent as they often did to finish up their homework. It’d been so peaceful and the view of the sunset from the window had unlocked something in Katniss and, believing Madge was slowly dozing off, she’d started humming and then she’d sung for a bit.

Katniss had gotten through two songs as she finished her last assignment before realizing Madge had been watching her, instantly gushing about how she hadn’t known she had a beautiful voice and a soothing tone, Katniss tried to dismiss it but Madge had said she should perform for a pay, betting there were people willing to pay her to sing.

The idea had seemed ridiculous to her, that anyone in Twelve would be willing to pay for something as unnecessary as a song.

Then the following day Madge had told her about some kind of party the Mayor was putting together and how he wished to have some entertainment, Katniss was pretty sure Madge had been the one to suggest maybe trying to find entertainment, and had simply told her he’d be willing to pay if she could put together a performance that lasted half an hour.

Katniss had been more than ready to shoot Madge’s offer down when Madge had told her what the tentative pay would be.

It wasn’t a fortune, or anything out of this world.

But it might just be enough to buy Prim the new coat she needed without having to sacrifice half her game of the week.

So Katniss had said she’d consider it.

And once she got home, she steadied herself before reaching to the very back of their small closet and pulling out a dusty guitar case she hadn’t dared touch since her dad had passed away.

As she tuned the guitar and clumsily tried to remember the chords her dad had once taught her, her mother stepped into the room, pale at the sound of music.

They stared at each other for a long moment. And then-

“I uh… apparently the Mayor is doing some event for some of the merchants or something like that… Madge said he might pay me if I… sang for them.”

“…oh, I see. Will you do it?”

Katniss shrugged, “The pay would be good. And spring is barely starting…” they both knew that meant less game to eat and trade, it would take a few more weeks for all the animals to fully come out of hibernation and for berries and fruits to grow in full again, “might do it as a one time thing.”

Her mother nodded along, hesitating before leaving, saying she needed to get something.

Prim sat excitedly at the end of the bed as Katniss managed to recall a few songs on the guitar, as a kid she’d mostly watched her dad whenever he played the guitar. She was surprised at how much she remembered and, after a few failed attempts and having to readjust her grip on the guitar, how she could pull together decent sounding chords, her voice slowly becoming stronger as the minutes went on.

Her mother returned with a box leaning against her hip, seeming nervous as she placed it on her bed, opening it and stepping back, “For you Katniss. If you’re going to… perform… you should look the part.”

Katniss frowned, caught off guard before setting the guitar aside and approaching, looking into the box and-

“Oh they’re so pretty!” Prim rushed forward, pulling out one of the dresses within the box.

They were unlike anything Katniss had ever seen in District Twelve, full of color and ruffles and embroidery and layers.

She dared reach out and carefully run a hand over the rainbow ruffles that made up the skirt of one of the dresses.

These were not merchant dresses.

“What… where did these come from?” She questioned.

Her mother hesitated for a moment, “They were from a few girls from your dad’s family. They were in… storage.”

Katniss frowned at that, “Dad’s family?”

“A few of them were singers, performers… maybe these will help you feel more comfortable singing.”

Katniss fully turned at that, “Dad’s family were singers?”

“…yes. But that was several lifetimes ago.” She trailed off as she watched Prim place a too-long dress against her chest, spinning to see the skirt flutter, “You should have them… even if you don’t wind up singing.”

Katniss took a moment, she was working on letting her mom do stuff for her… and these dresses were a part of her dad’s legacy, what little was left of it that wasn’t just coal dust and fiery nightmares.

“Thanks mom. But… I think I’d look a bit ridiculous.”

“You’d look beautiful!” Prim said earnestly, “And I could do your hair! And you could use berries and bugs to make some rouge!”

“How do you know about rouge? Anyway- that’d be a waste-”

“Come on!” Prim pleaded, “It’ll just be once! Please?”

Katniss sighed heavily, going to stare at the dress Prim had just laid on the bed.

***

“I look ridiculous.” Katniss grumbled as her mom finished doing her hair and Prim carefully applied a little bit of rouge to her cheeks and lips.

“You look really pretty.” Said Prim, so honestly and earnestly, Katniss nearly believed it.

She stood up, stepping back to try and get a full body view in the small mirror, “Well there goes my dignity.”

It wasn’t that bad all things considered.

She’d chosen some of the least eccentric pieces in the box, a long purple skirt with a dark blue checkered pattern, a white blouse and a black over-shirt with flowers embroidered in the collar, brown detailing along the pockets.

Madge had lent her a nice pair of boots since apparently her own hunting boots wouldn’t make the cut, her mom had braided half her hair up to keep it out of her face and form a braid crown and Prim had fortunately showed restraint with the rouge she’d made out of herbs and berries, so her lips and cheeks were only slightly tinted, barely enough to be noticeable but enough to bring some color to her face.

She didn’t look as dumb as she’d feared. But it was still… very different to say the least.

Prim frowned, “Don’t say that! You look pretty. And mom said this is how dad’s family used to dress for their shows.”

“It’s gonna be eight songs, that hardly counts as a show.”

“But you’ll still be performing.” Her mom gently told her as she reached out to adjust her blouse and the black shirt on top, moving her skirt for some reason Katniss couldn’t fathom, “And your sister is right, you do look very pretty.”

Katniss sighed heavily but pulled back on her groaning and moaning. They’d both done their best to help her and make her look her best and it’d been Katniss who’d accepted the offer and had signed the death certificate of her dignity.

She carefully slung her dad’s old guitar over her shoulder and went to leave, doing her best to keep her head high and not act any differently as she made her way out of the Seam, sensing a few confused glances shot her way but ignoring them.

She was doing this for Prim.

She was doing this because if the Mayor was dumb enough to pay her for singing, then she should take advantage of that.

And also, it was better to show up looking just a little bit ridiculous than to show up looking obviously Seam, since this was some kind of gathering of the better-off folks of District Twelve.

At least they couldn’t say she hadn’t made an effort.

As she was about to cross into the merchant square-

“Catnip!” She turned to see Gale running towards her, a frown on his face and a game bag slung over his shoulder, “What are you wearing? What are you doing?”

Katniss rolled her eyes as she went to continue her walk, “I told you I was doing a job.”

“What kind of job has you dressing up like… that?”

Katniss felt herself blush, feeling twice as ridiculous just as she’d started to enjoy the feeling of the skirt swirling around her legs, “I’m gonna sing at the Mayor’s party.”

“…you’re what?”

“Madge heard me sing and the Mayor wanted entertainment and offered a good pay.” She said defensively, “That’s it.”

“And the dress?”

Katniss gritted her teeth together, “It belonged to some aunt or cousin of my dad’s. Not like I could show up in my usual hunting gear.”

Gale paused, scoffing, “…and the rouge?”

Katniss stopped, turning to him, “It’s a performance Gale. I have to look the part.”

Gale shook his head, “So now you’re ready to be a dancing monkey for the merchants? Sorry- a singing monkey?”

Katniss scoffed, “Well sorry that I want to make sure my sister gets to have a new coat. It’s a good pay for half an hour of singing, I’d be stupid to turn it down over pride.”

“Pride is pretty much all we got!” Gale argued.

Katniss turned away, “I’m gonna be late.” She ignored him trying to call her back, if he had a problem with this he could have a fit about it by himself.

She knew he held some resentment towards the merchants for having it just a little bit easier than them, for not having to brave the mines. 

But he still traded plenty with them.

She didn’t see how this was any different.

Aside from the possible public humiliation if it went wrong.

And the fact that she was now ‘entertainment’. 

And that she was selling so called ‘talent’ and not a physical thing.

…this had been a bad idea.

Katniss tried to calm herself down as she arrived to the Mayor’s house, being let in by a Peacekeeper after she explained why she was there, hands sweating as she was led to a room next to the bigger room where the party was taking place, since she didn’t want to go in until it was time to take the stage-

Oh was there going to be an actual stage? She hadn’t even thought to ask- why hadn’t she asked?! Why had she agreed to this, it’d been idiotic.

She shut the door behind her, leaning against it and trying to breath and-

“Katniss?”

…no.

Absolutely not.

This had to be some kind of nightmare.

Katniss took in the room. 

It was a small room, probably meant for storage. There were coats that clearly belonged to the guests, a few plates and glasses that were probably extras, some kind of old banner and standing next to a cart with a box-

The boy with the bread, watching her with an odd look on his face.

“What are you doing here?” It came out more aggressive than she meant it to, but she was confused, why on earth would he be here? She was sure his family wasn’t part of the Mayor’s inner circle.

The Mellarks might’ve been merchants but they weren’t amongst the top families of District Twelve.

Peeta watched her for another moment, eyes dropping to her skirt before he cleared his throat, “I uhh…” he lifted the cover that was on the cart next to him, revealing a two-story cake with white frosting and intricate blue flowers, “Delivery- they asked if I could stay to help with the cutting.”

Of course, it was a party, the Mayor could afford a cake for his guests.

“…it’s pretty.” Katniss said, unsure of what else to say.

Peeta gave her a small, bashful smile, “Thanks.”

“…you frosted it?”

Peeta shrugged as he carefully placed the cover back, “I frost all the cakes.” He glanced her way, hesitating before speaking, “What are you doing here? I don’t see your game bag.”

Katniss sighed heavily, looking down, “The Mayor wanted entertainment… I’m going to sing.”

Peeta righted up at that, “Oh, that’s great. I uh… I remember you have a beautiful voice.”

She frowned, “When have you heard me sing?”

He half winced as he looked down, going to rub the back of his neck, “I uh… I remember you singing once in school. It was a long time ago, we must’ve been like- six maybe but… I remember.”

“…oh.” Katniss remember it then, a moment she hadn’t thought of in years, before her dad had passed and she’d have to learn how to survive without him.

The very first day of school.

How did he remember that?

Katniss went to fidget with her skirt, unsure of what to do, catching Peeta watching her, eyes carefully going over her hair and the dress.

She shook her head, “I know. I look ridiculous.”

“What- no! No you… I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so much color in Twelve… if you don’t count the Capitol reaping lady. It’s nice.”

Katniss half snorted, looking down as she smoothed out the skirt, “If you think this is colorful you should’ve seen the other dresses… not that it’ll be much help… pretty sure I’m about to make a fool of myself.”

She wasn’t exactly sure why she was confiding in him, maybe it was because he’d already seen her at her most vulnerable, so who cared if a few words managed to slip through her defenses.

Peeta gave her a small smile as he stepped closer, “Pretty sure you couldn’t look a fool even if you tried. I’m sure you’ll be great.”

“Don’t put too much faith in me, I might just bolt for the door as soon as I step on stage.”

“If you want I can knock the cake over, give them a distraction so you can run.”

Katniss chuckled at that, raising an eyebrow, “You’d do that?”

He shrugged, “It gets boring standing around waiting to cut slices, could be entertaining. And if I time it just right I could topple it over the Mayor himself.”

Katniss laughed at the mental image, Peeta joining in.

“As tempting as the offer is… I gave Madge my word.”

Peeta nodded once, understandingly, “Well if you change your mind just give me a sign and I’ll try to give you an out.”

She found herself going to smile.

The door open and Madge peeked in, brightening up when she saw Katniss, “Hey! You start in ten, Peeta could you please bring the cake in to start giving out slices?”

“Yeah of course.” Peeta went to wheel the cart out as Madge hurried to the stairs, saying something about checking in on her mom. He hesitated, stopping next to her, “I meant what I said, you’ll be great. And… just for the record… you look beautiful.”

He stepped out before she could reply, her cheeks burning.

Katniss shook her head, trying to center herself.

Peeta was just being nice. That was all, it didn’t mean anything. It shouldn’t have made her feel so… so much.

She took a moment to make sure her guitar was properly tuned and that she remembered all the chords she would need before Madge gently told her it was time.

In the end, there were about thirty-five people in the room, sitting in a few tables. The stage was really more of a step a few inches above the rest of the room, Katniss walking around the edge of the room to reach it and the lonely mic that’d been set up for her.

She could feel all eyes on her, all unsure what to expect as she cleared her throat and tried to ignore the panic trying to bloom in her chest.

As she found herself forgetting the first words of her first song… and then she met a pair of blue eyes, Peeta was slicing the cake, taking a moment to meet her gaze, eyes soft but attentive, waiting.

Her fingers changed the chord she’d been ready to play, and she found herself singing the Valley Song, which she hadn’t planned on singing but was the only one she could cling to in that moment.

Peeta’s eyes lit up in recognition, a smile tugging at the corner of his lip before he returned to his task of distributing the cake.

After finding her rhythm and the appropriate distance to keep from the mic, the songs seemed to fly by, she felt almost possessed by the music, she wondered if maybe this was what her dad’s aunts and cousins had felt when signing in the same dress.

Peeta left when he was done slicing the cake, sending her one last glance, he seemed like he wanted to linger, but his job was done.

People stood to dance to most of her songs, swaying and laughing, waltzing to her last song, which was a slower one.

When she struck her final chord, she was surprisingly given a round of applause.

Unsure of what to do, Katniss gave a quick bow and hurried off the stage after freezing for a second.

Madge met her at the door with a giant smile, “Katniss you were brilliant!”

Katniss felt her blush intensify as she tried to brush it off, “I just sang.”

Madge just smiled as she handed her a small pouch of coins, “Well you did it amazingly.”

Katniss slumped against the door once she managed to fully get away and leave the Mayor’s house behind, 

She took a moment to gather her thoughts before going to start the walk back home, somehow feeling lighter than when she’d made her way over.

She found that… she didn’t hate the idea of performing again.

Chapter Text

Katniss stood with her arms crossed as she waited for Prim.

School had just ended. It’d been a week since the Mayor’s party and Katniss felt almost proud as she watched Prim skipping her way towards her with her new coat on, the last of the snow was still clearing out and the coat was big enough to hopefully last her the next two winters.

“You ready to go?” She questioned, reaching for her little sister’s hand.

“Yeah, I’ll probably spend the whole day making cheese, Lady is really working hard lately.”

“That’s good, maybe you’ll have enough to-”

“Hey Katniss wait up!”

Katniss turned to find Delly Cartwright of all people running towards her with a big smile on her face, waving as though they were in the middle of a crowd.

She frowned, “Delly, is something wrong?”

“Oh no, not at all I just wanted to catch you before the end of the day-” Delly had been running, stopping before her to catch her breath, “I wanted to know if you might be willing to sing at my birthday party?”

“…what?”

Delly continued as she tried to get her curls in order, still smiling big, “Well I heard that you played the guitar and sung at the Mayor’s party and- I asked Peeta and Madge and they both said you were wonderful and I would love to have some actual music at my party- it’s a small reunion but- would you be willing to sing again?”

“Well-”

“I wouldn’t be able to pay you much to be honest but- I could trade you a pair of shoes and maybe a pair of soles instead?” Delly looked a bit embarrassed, clearly unsure of how to make a good deal as a merchant’s daughter who had never set foot in the Hob.

The cobbler’s daughter.

Prim perked up, “Could it be a pair of boots?”

Delly gleamed down at her, “Yeah, I’m sure you can find something just right for you in the store.” She turned to Katniss, “Does that sound good? Shoes and soles for an hour of singing?”

A full hour. She’d barely managed half an hour. 

Besides…

“Shoes and soles feels a bit excessive… shoes would do.” Katniss said, since it felt a lot different to take advantage of Delly’s innocence than the Mayor’s ignorance.

Besides she’d always liked Delly well enough, she was probably the friendliest person she knew.

She nodded along, “Alright then! Umm… the party will be this Sunday at my place and you can go there Saturday if you’d like to choose the shoes you want.”

“Actually… could I tell you for sure tomorrow? I just need to check some stuff. Make sure I have enough songs for an hour and all that.”

“Of course! I’ll see you tomorrow then!” Delly all but skipped away, clearly giddy about the mere possibility of having live music at her party.

Prim frowned as they began their walk home, “Why did you say you’d think about it? You have more than enough songs for an hour-long show.”

Katniss sighed, “I’m not even sure we need new shoes.”

“You need new boots.”

“No I don’t.” Her hunting boots still held up well enough, “I might need to change the soles soon but I can get those at the Hob.”

“Or, you could get a new pair of prettier boots to double as your hunting and show shoes. Or you could get pretty boots with a little heel for your shows!” Prim said excitedly.

Katniss couldn’t help but laugh, wrapping an arm around Prim’s shoulders to pull her against her side, “I think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself there. I’ve had one show, that doesn’t justify a new pair of shoes specifically for performing.”

“I think you’re underestimating how in demand you’ll be.” She countered, “And- even if you don’t want to get boots with a heel- you should still get some. I know yours can survive with some soles but you spend so much time in the woods… you deserve them. Why do I get a new coat but you can’t get new boots if you can get them without trading most of your game?”

Katniss watched her for a long moment before going to ruffle her hair, “When did you get so argumentative?”

The sisters laughed as they continued their way home.

After mulling it over some more and a trip to the woods during which, a tiny part of her had to admit that her boots had probably lasted two years longer than they should have… she decided she’d give another show.

Delly seemed to be far too delighted the next day as she confirmed that she’d sing at her birthday party.

While Katniss wasn’t too comfortable with getting paid before her performance, Delly insisted she pick a pair of boots the day before so she had the option of wearing them for the show.

Prim insisted on coming along to prevent her from choosing the most basic pair of boots she could find, though Katniss didn’t see the point in getting a pretty pair of boots, not like it made them any more functional.

A small bell rang as she pushed her way into the shoe store behind Prim, Delly quickly leaving the front counter to show her the boots.

There were a few options, Prim smacking her hand when she went to check the plainest pair, Katniss quietly rolling her eyes before going to indulge her sister as she carefully inspected the other pairs of boots.

To Prim’s credit, she instantly dismissed the one pair of boots with a proper heel, already knowing that a heel would be of no use in the woods and she refused to make even more of a spectacle of herself.

Prim smiled as she held out a pair made of soft brown leather with paler brown thread sewn through to form a single simple flower on the outside side and black laces at the front, as well as, not a heel but a chunkier bottom part.

The flowers almost looked like dandelions.

Katniss took too long to reject, Prim quickly picking up on the fact that she liked them and insisting she try them on, Delly right with her.

Katniss pulled the boots on, half expecting for them to be too uncomfortable to take into the woods but being pleasantly surprised, they needed to be broken in but they might just work. And the laces up to her calfs ensured the boots molded perfectly to her leg.

Prim looked far too pleased with herself as Katniss tested the boots, walking back and forth in the store a few times.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten new shoes.

It seemed like an indulgence, especially since…

They felt a little too nice to be worth a mere hour of singing and playing.

Delly sensed her hesitation, “Still not convinced?”

Katniss turned to her, “They’re beautiful… you sure your parents are good with letting these go just for a show?”

“I’m sure!”

In the end, Katniss relented, feeling like her backbone was becoming no stronger than rubber as she walked back home with a shoebox carefully tucked against her hip.

Once they reached the Meadow, she handed the box to Prim to be taken home, where she would finish preparing Lady’s cheese and help their mom with some concoctions. 

Katniss had wanted to go to Delly’s as early as possible to get it out of the way before heading to the woods and not have it nagging at the back of her mind as she hunted.

She checked the snares first and re-set them, finding nothing but shooting two rabbits hidden in the bushes. She searched the trees carefully, looking for any other animals since many of them were still hiding out due to the snow.

She also shoot three squirrels before running into Gale, who’d probably been in the woods since earlier, “Late start Catnip?” He questioned with a small smirk, a turkey hanging from his belt.

“Had to pass by the cobbler’s.”

Gale frowned, glancing down at her feet, “Are your hunting boots that bad? We could’ve gotten new soles in the Hob.”

“Yeah I know. I didn’t get soles.” She didn’t elaborate as she helped him get down one of his newer traps, one meant for grooslings, it seemed to have been successful, managing to snag two of them.

“You got new shoes? I thought you were trying to not trade too much of your meat.”

“I didn’t trade meat for them.” Katniss handed the grooslings to Gale before going to check one of the bushes to see if any blackberries were growing.

“…then what did you trade?”

Katniss sighed to herself as she went to stand up, already knowing Gale wouldn’t stop nagging until she elaborated, “Delly’s birthday party is tomorrow.”

That was all she needed to say for him to get it, he shook his head as he looked down, “I thought it was a one time thing?”

“So did I.” She replied honestly, “But it was a good deal… and if more people are willing to pay me for songs… then I’ll probably do it.”

Gale watched her for a long moment, considering something.

Then, he shrugged, clearly trying to play it off, “Alright then.”

He turned away, going deeper into the woods. Katniss decided to not pursue the conversation, if he really did have a problem with her singing, she wouldn’t go out of her way to uncover said issue.

They went through the rest of their usual routine before returning to town, first stopping by the Peacekeeper base to sell the wild turkeys, then heading to the Hob to trade off the grooslings for thread and fabric since Gale’s siblings needed some repairs to their clothes as well as bandages for her mother’s patients.

Since there still wasn’t as much game as usual they each kept a rabbit and a squirrel but for the third one they stopped by the bakery.

Katniss knocked on the back door and adjusted her braid over her shoulder right as the door swung open, revealing the baker.

As per usual, nothing was said, Katniss simply raising up the squirrel, the baker nodding and turning to get something to give in exchange.

She saw Peeta deeper in the bakery, focused as he used some long wooden paddle to place a tray with dollops of raw batter into the oven. Maybe cookies or buns.

He caught sight of her as he shut the oven, in the past, if they caught sight of each other while she traded with his dad, she’d quickly look away before she could see how he reacted, this time, she didn’t look away, Peeta blinked once in surprise before giving her a small smile and a two-finger wave. 

She returned the tiny wave, realizing that she’d likely be seeing him at Delly’s party since the two seemed to be friends.

Peeta stepped out of view as the baker returned, handing over a paper bag with two small buns inside.

“Since when are you friends with Mellark?” Gale asked casually as they started making their way back to the Seam, splitting up their goods.

“I don’t know if I’d call us friends. He was just being nice.”

Gale frowned but didn’t ask anymore, they split up and Katniss was relieved to be back home, her mom quickly going to preserve the squirrel and start skinning the rabbit for a stew.

Prim had five small blocks of cheese carefully wrapped up in basil leaves under a bowl, ready to be traded the following day before Katniss put on her show.

While the stew brewed, Prim excitedly insisted they start figuring out which dress she should wear the following day, some rouge still remained from the previous show and Prim had apparently ground up a few petals to make a tentative eyeshadow that Katniss was very much hesitant about trying out.

She chose other simple pieces, another purple skirt, this one a lighter tone, lavender with darker purple making a pattern of small lines and outlines of squares all down the length of it, a loose white blouse with purple and pink flowers down the sleeves and in two lines down her front. Prim picked out a thick brown belt with light brown detailing and two metal snakes at the front serving as a buckle that would almost work as a corset, giving the outfit a more interesting ‘silhouette’ her mom said, whatever that meant.

As they sat to have dinner, Katniss explained her plan for the following day, but when Prim asked if she’d prepared a personalized message since this was a birthday show, Katniss realized something she already knew.

While she might be categorized as a singer, she wasn’t really a performer. At the Mayor’s party she hadn’t spoken a word in between songs, not bothering to introduce any of them in a special manner and hadn’t said anything either at the beginning or at the end of her performance.

Realizing this, she added a quick opening with a traditional birthday song and added a closing song that she thought Delly would particularly enjoy. Prim suggested she at least add some flare to her entrance, perhaps twirling on stage to open up, but that felt a bit dumb, especially since she was almost sure her ‘stage’ would be a bunch of crates pushed together.

The following day, she used the morning to go out hunting again, managing to forage a few herbs her mother was running low on and trading a rabbit for some other herbs that still weren’t growing but one of the women at the Hob had preserved to last through the winter.

Back at home she hurriedly ate before rehearsing what would be her closing song on the guitar, she had a feeling that quite a few of her songs would’ve needed a full band to have the full effect and impact of them, but since it was the guitar or just her voice, she’d have to make do.

After eating, she took a bath, her mom managing to coax the bottom half of her hair into curling a bit and pinning a few pieces back to keep it out of her face.

Prim applied rouge to her cheeks and lips and managed to talk her into letting her use the pale pink powder she’d prepared, using a tiny bit on her eyelids.

She pulled on her clothes and laced up her new boots, Prim holding up the small mirror so Katniss could get a full view once she took several steps back.

She gave a slow spin, inspecting herself.

She felt… pretty.

Katniss shook her head, trying to center herself. 

She had a job to do, she didn’t have time to waste admiring herself in the mirror.

She swung her guitar over her shoulder and left.

She noticed there were once again, looks shot her way, she was even more colorful than the last time, so she supposed it made sense. She felt like she actually looked the part of a performer this time around.

She entered the merchant square and, just her luck-

“Katniss!” She looked to her right, seeing Peeta leaving the bakery, a package in his hands, smiling bright as he went to join her, “You headed down to Delly’s?”

“Yeah… I would’ve thought you’d already be there.” Katniss herself was supposed to arrive an hour after the party started to give her show midway through the party that was supposedly meant to end just after dark.

Peeta shrugged, carefully adjusting the box to have a more secure hold on it, “I went earlier to help her set up a bit, but they needed me for the afternoon rush.”

Katniss nodded along, hesitating for a moment before speaking again, “Why did you talk about me to Delly?”

Peeta faltered for a moment, “What?”

“Delly she mentioned that- you talked to her about my show?”

“Oh, well I just said you were great just like I knew you’d be. That’s all.”

“Like you knew I’d be? We don’t even know each other.” She didn’t know why she felt the need to point that out, maybe a bit defensive at the idea of anyone talking about her, especially her singing when she still wasn’t quite sure she hadn’t indeed made a fool of herself.

Peeta didn’t seem insulted though, instead nodding along, “It’s weird right? How you can know about someone without knowing them at all… but if you keep doing shows and I keep delivering cakes then it’s pretty likely we’ll be running into each other a few times so… how about we get to know each other a bit? You could ask me anything.”

“Like what?” Katniss questioned.

“I don’t know like… what’s your favorite color?”

“Well now you’re just crossing a line, that’s too personal.” She joked with a deadpanned expression, earning a chuckle from him before she looked down at her new shoes and obliged, “It’s green. Yours?”

“Orange.”

“Really?”

“Not strong orange, orange like… like the sunset.” He told her, glancing up at the clear example of said orange in the horizon as the sun started to go down.

“Mmm…” Katniss glanced at the box in his hands, no doubt containing a cake for the party, “Do you really frost all the cakes? And the cookies?”

He gave her a bashful smile, “Why do you sound so surprised? It’s not like it’s anything impressive.”

“I’ve seen some of those tiny flowers you make when Prim wants to stop by to look, no idea how you make those they look so fragile.”

“If we’re talking truly impressive things, I can’t understand how you manage to shoot squirrels right in the eye every single time. That’s impressive.”

Katniss frowned at that.

Peeta slowed down for a moment, clearly thinking he might’ve said something wrong, “What?”

“Nothing just… for some reason I never considered you might be eating those squirrels as well. I guess I just thought your dad kept them to himself or something.”

Peeta smirked, “I’ve got no doubt he has on occasion. But for the most part he shares with me or one of my brothers- whoever is in the kitchen at the time.”

Katniss nodded along, “Well you might think the shooting is impressive but it’s just part of the job, no one wants a squirrel that has had half the meat on it shot off.”

“And the frosting is just part of the job as well,” Peeta played right along, “people are more likely to buy cakes and cookies if they look pretty.”

“I guess you’re right.” Katniss thought back to her last trip to the bakery and the buns that’d held a surprise, “Hey, what kind of bread was it that your dad gave us yesterday?”

“Cheese buns, it was the only thing we had ready to go. Why? Did you not like it?” Peeta was watching her now, eyes searching her face for something she couldn’t fathom.

Katniss took a deep breath, “It was delightful,” she confessed begrudgingly, upset at the new weakness that was attempting to develop, “I was almost tempted to just eat the whole thing by myself.”

Peeta pressed his lips together in an attempt to subdue his smile at Katniss’s borderline anger at the audacity the bread had to be that good, “Really?”

“Really.”

They reached Delly’s shop at that moment, going around and through an alley to reach the small garden at the back, Peeta hurrying forwards to open the back gate for her, Katniss surprised at the gesture but saying nothing about it, stepping in.

It was a simple party, about ten or fifteen people, Katniss recognizing most as merchant kids, a small table with a bowl of milk and a plate of turkey, just enough for everyone to have a decent sized piece. Even a tiny bowl of blackberries.

Delly all but ran over to them, giving Peeta a quick hug and telling him he could set the cake down at the table before turning to Katniss with a bright smile and pointing out the crates they’d set up for her show, “You can start as soon as you’d like, thanks for coming again.”

“Of course, I’ll just check my guitar is tuned and go on up.”

In truth, Katniss needed a minute to brace herself.

She’d obviously known that agreeing to perform for Delly’s party meant performing for her classmates, but actually seeing them was different.

She caught sight of Madge, who offered her a reassuring smile from her spot near the blackberries, also seemingly not entirely comfortable in the small crowd.

Katniss gave her guitar a quick check since she’d done all the proper tuning at home before approaching the crates, there was no microphone here which was to be expected.

She hoped on up and turned around, finding Madge for some comfort before knocking on her guitar twice to get everyone’s full attention even though most had been watching her as soon as she’d arrived.

“Good evening,” she spoke in a loud tone, she remembered what her mom had gently told her, that she didn’t have to say anything special or meaningful, just a quick something to open her show, “I won’t waste anyone’s time, we all know why we’re here,” she turned towards Delly, gesturing to her, “Happy Birthday Delly!”

Delly blushed as everyone whooped and clapped for her before Katniss began her show with a short and sweet birthday song.

Like the previous time, with every minute and chord that passed by she gained more confidence, singing loudly and proudly, strumming and occasionally tapping her guitar felt like second nature as she played mostly up-beat and happier songs, most of the merchant kids dancing along or watching as they took a moment to drink milk or eat.

As she sang, Peeta carefully unboxed the cake, giving Delly the first slice before hanging back with a few friends, during Sam McGee, a song about some man thought to have frozen to death before a cremation thawed him out just fine (some of her dad’s songs were very strange when she thought about them too hard) he dragged Delly for a sporadic dance, hopping and spinning around in a way that reminded Katniss of her own silly dances with Prim.

She thought she might’ve heard Delly say once Peeta might as well have been her brother.

She hadn’t known whether she believed that back then, but now she did.

The hour slipped through her fingers like water as she sang about mountain winds and lost loves and daring challenges and mysterious folks.

As she ended a song that had everyone up and dancing, the merchant kids catching their breaths as she cleared her throat, “Alright now, for my last song-”

Many of the kids whipped around, starting to boo and pouting at the thought of her leaving the stage.

Katniss froze, unsure of how to respond to that, deciding to wait until the moment passed and clearing her throat again, hoping her stance hadn’t become too awkward.

“For my last song, I thought I’d dedicate something to the birthday girl,” Peeta and many others whooped, nudging Delly, whose smile could’ve powered the electric fence around the District, “this isn’t a song I’ve practiced a lot, but it’s one that reminds me of you and I really hope you like it Delly. This last one, is Keep on the Sunny Side.”

It wasn’t a song Katniss was particularly fond of, mostly because she couldn’t quite take seriously the lyrics of the song, asking the listener to look on the bright side of life.

But Delly seemed delighted by it, dancing the entire while with her friends, some of them taking pretty ribbons off their hair to weave into a long necklace for Delly, maybe a gift or a momentary token of appreciation, she didn’t know, but Delly was happy and that was all that mattered because it meant she did her job right.

The final strum of her guitar came with applause as she gave a quick bow, Madge approaching the crates that served as a stage with a smile and her glass of milk still half full, offering the rest to Katniss, who took a sip before realizing the crowd was still applauding her and she felt herself blush, glass in hand as she quickly waved them off.

“What are you clapping at me for? Give it up for the birthday girl!” She said impulsively, wanting the eyes to leave her for a moment as she caught her breath and took a few sips to soothe her parched throat, Madge staying close by, the crowd taking it as a joke and going to thankfully turn their attention to Delly.

Katniss hopped off the crates, thanking Madge as she handed the glass back, Madge finishing it off and going to go with her towards the back gate, they were intercepted by Delly, who went to hug Katniss.

“Thank you so much! You were amazing!”

Katniss hesitantly returned the hug, “Uh- you’re welcome. The boots are amazing.”

Delly pulled back, “I’m glad you liked them. You leaving already?”

Katniss nodded, “I’m needed at home.”

“I have to call it a night too Delly.” Madge said, stepping forwards to squeeze her hand, “Sorry to leave a bit early but I can’t stay out much longer without my dad worrying.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, you were the first to arrive! Although- did you have any cake? I didn’t see you with it, hold on-”

As though he’d been summoned at the mere mention of cake, Peeta suddenly stepped up to Delly’s side, holding two napkins that were carefully wrapped around slices of cake, Delly taking them handing one to Madge and one to-

“Oh, no Delly I’m fine.” Katniss tried to tell her, “You already paid me.”

Delly shook her head, “Come on Katniss, it’d just be bad manners to let anyone leave without a slice of cake.”

“Not to mention it’d be an insult to the baker that made it if you didn’t take it.” Peeta added with a smile.

Katniss titled her head at him, “I thought you said you only did the frosting?”

“I never said I only did the frosting, what kind of baker doesn’t know how to make a good cake?” He teased.

Delly all but shoved the slice into her hands, “Thanks again Katniss, the show was perfect. And thanks for coming Madge and for the gift it was beautiful. See you two tomorrow?”

After saying their final goodbyes, Madge and Katniss started making their way down the street walking side by side, her guitar slung over her back, cake slices wrapped up in hand.

Madge grinned after a minute, turning to her, “Do be honest with me,” Katniss tensed up, was she about to bring up Peeta? “How painful was it for you to do that last song?”

Oh. She was just teasing her. Why had she thought that she’d ask about Peeta?

Katniss snorted, “Was I that obvious?”

“No, but I think I’m learning how to see right through you. Do you not like the song?”

That should’ve unnerved her, but she trusted Madge, she wasn’t the kind of person who would spill secrets.

“It’s not that I don’t like the song it’s a fun one, I just can’t picture anyone who’s lived in Twelve writing something like that unironically.”

Madge shrugged, lowering her voice, “Maybe… maybe it was written before Twelve was a thing.”

Katniss turned to her, surprised by the comment. It was far from being Anti-Capitol but it still had an underline of danger to it, mentioning a time before.

She slowly smirked, “Maybe it was.”

They parted ways two blocks down, Katniss peeking into the napkin as she made her way through the Seam.

Had it been a thin slice, she would’ve just given it to Prim, but the slice was just thick enough that both she and her mom could also take a few bites.

As soon as she opened the door of her house, Prim and her mom perked up from where they’d been preparing pastes and solutions at the kitchen table.

Prim smiled, “How’d it go?”

Katniss just held up the napkin, “Who wants a little cake?”

She carefully unwrapped it, Prim in awe of the decorations and insisting on splitting it into three equal parts leaving each with three bites of mouth-watering spongy bread with the tiniest bit of milk in it and different colored decorations.

Prim handed her mom a plate with two purple flowers, choosing pink ones for herself, and to Katniss she handed her one with three flowers.

She looked at the delicate frosted flowers.

Orange. Peeta’s favorite color.

“So tell us.” Her mom started as she lifted a jar to inspect the consistency of one of her concoctions, “How was it?”

Katniss plucked the frosted flower from the frosting, carefully setting it on her plate, unable to bear the thought of crushing it instantly, “It was good… I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.”

Her mom gave her a small smile, “That’s good. Maybe you’ll get more requests soon.”

Katniss just nodded along as she took her first bite of cake.

Chapter Text

Two weeks after Delly’s party, Katniss and Gale were in the Hub, making a few trades.

They hadn’t really spoken about her performance, that was how most of their arguments went after all, they tended to simmer out more than they tended to be resolved, they couldn’t afford to be bickering when they had families to feed.

As they’d been eating at Greasy Sae’s stand, Thom plopped down on a stool besides her, which she immediately found weird since he was more Gale’s friend than hers.

“Hey Katniss.” He greeted with a big smile, “I heard you put on quite a show the other day at the Mayor’s party and then at the cobbler’s daughter’s party.”

Katniss finished her stew to give herself a moment since she wasn’t sure where exactly this was going, “Where’d you hear that?”

Thom just shrugged, “Heard around. Is it true?”

“If you call strumming a few chords and tunes a show then sure yeah.”

“What’d you think of playing at a wedding?”

Katniss froze, blinking once, “Whose wedding?”

“My sister’s getting hitched. Her and two of her friends decided to have their weddings together.”

Katniss nodded along, it was a common enough occurrence amongst the residents of the Seam to combine weddings to lower costs and manage to pull off a decent event with their funds put together.

“The girls heard that you put on pretty nice shows, so my sister sent me to ask how much you’d want in order to play.”

Katniss considered it.

A wedding sounded daunting. A little too important for her still-strengthening voice and solitary chords.

But she found she liked the idea of playing for fellow Seam neighbors, she thought she might feel a bit more comfortable with people like her in the audience. 

Besides, how could she ever turn down three Seam brides after agreeing to a merchant birthday and the Mayor’s party? Not to mention how it might look.

Katniss titled her head as she considered it, “Could be a trade. Whose getting married again?”

After realizing two of the grooms were handymen, some discussion took place as they ate, two hours of singing in exchange for some repairs to her home, since her make-shift insulation was no longer enough to stop the leaks in the roof and the steps that led to their tiny backyard where Lady lived were half broken and on the verge of collapsing in on themselves.

Two hours. The shows kept getting longer, but Katniss knew her repertoire would be enough to get through it, she had though warned Thom she might need a ten minute break at the end of the first hour, which he seemed to think was more than understandable.

“I thought you hated weddings.” Gale remarked as they started making their way out of the Hob.

Katniss rolled her eyes, “I’ve never said I hated weddings.” Just because she herself didn’t see the point in getting married with things being what they were didn’t mean she didn’t see the beauty in weddings.

Gale just shrugged, “Well, guess I’ll finally get to see you sing.”

Katniss half frowned, she hadn’t considered that Thom or his sister had invited Gale to the wedding.

“Guess you will.”

*** 

Katniss reviewed in her mind the small phrases and song introductions she’d prepared with Prim.

She’d done her job at both the Mayor’s and Delly’s parties, but she truly did want to give the best show she could for this Seam wedding, even if it meant feeling a bit ridiculous as she tried introductions to nearly each of the songs, thinking if she’d look foolish asking guests to get up to dance for a few of them.

For this performance, she found a long azure dress with embroidered raspberries at the hem, collar and the cuffs, asking her mom to do her hair half up with the braided headband from her first performance and letting Prim put rouge on her cheeks and lips and bluebells that had just started to bloom in the Meadow in between the plaits of her braid.

She’d spent the week mentally preparing herself for this, a Seam performance both seemed like it’d be easier and harder than her shows for the merchants.

Prim walked with her towards the open patch of land smack-dab in the middle of the Seam that was occasionally used for said occasions since she really wanted to see what kinds of decorations they’d set up.

A small wooden platform had been set up for her stage, a table holding a bowl of watery punch and two bottles of white liquor as well as some berries since it was considered the polite thing to do to eat before a Seam wedding, no one expected to be fed there.

There were already some people there, ready for the entrance of the couples, who were signing their papers at the Justice Building.

Prim smiled big at the flowers and nut shells and fallen feathers that’d been used for decorations.

“Catnip!”

Gale approached from where he’d finished helping Thom set up the last crates and chairs, he wore an old shirt of his dad’s and his most put-together pair of pants as well as his hunting boots.

“Hey Gale, I’m not too early am I?”

“The couples are on their way so no.” He looked her up and down once before turning to Prim, grinning, “Well you dolled her up real nice.”

Prim smiled bright, ignoring the sneer Katniss sent Gale’s way, “Doesn’t she look so pretty? I can’t wait until I’m tall enough to wear the dresses, I’ve only found two or three that fit me.”

“How many dresses are there?” 

“A whole bunch, I’ve never seen so much color before.” Prim gushed.

“Well I’m sure you’ll be able to fit in them in no time.” Gale assured her.

Katniss wrapped an arm around her, “You wanna stay long enough to see the brides?”

“Yes!”

It didn’t take long for the three couples to come prancing down in their best clothes, the men with white pieces of cloth or handkerchiefs, the women with crowns made of flowers and weeds, petals being thrown in arcs over them as a blessing.

They all looked so happy and bright and hopeful it brought a small smile to Katniss’s face as she waited, the couples taking a lap around the space to recieve the thrown petals and to quietly thank everyone for being there.

Then, when they wandered through the center of the space, the make-shift dance floor, Katniss stepped on to her small stage, everyone looking up expectantly.

She thought about the opening her mom and Prim had written as soon as she told them she’d be playing at a wedding.

“Well there’s nothing quite like seeing couples of blushing newlyweds. Even better, blushing newlyweds with so much support.” They all smiled, and the knot in Katniss’s stomach loosened ever so slightly, “But as thankful as I’m sure the newlyweds are for your presence here, I’m gonna have to ask everyone who didn’t get married today to take their seats for a moment, because this first song is for the couples to get their first waltz as husband and wife!” there were claps and whoops at that, the guests who’d been throwing petals and stepping around the space going to take their seats easily, “Now this, is a tale of a love from way back when, I hope you’ll like it.”

Katniss began her first song, adjusting a few chords to make it a bit more appropriate for a slow waltz, the three couples spinning and swaying slowly, happy in each others arms.

She made her way through the first hour of singing, playing The Cremation of Sam McGee and Keep on the Sunny Side and That Thing I Love With each having the entire crowd up as well as songs about old ships and lakes and birds. Prim left after her second song, after a quick dance with Gale. Before her break, she played one of her favorite songs, asking the small crowd to help along by stomping their feet, Nothing You Can Take From Me.

Everyone took refreshments as she stepped off stage for her ten minute break, taking small sips of water.

When she saw Thom and the brother of one of the grooms getting up with grins, she knew something was about to happen.

She watched as Thom and the brother hurried towards the road, where Peeta of all people was waiting, having been staying by one of the houses, a box in hand.

She wondered how long he’d been there. She saw a quick exchange and caught his eye as he went to leave, he gave her a smile and a wink.

Katniss quickly looked down.

As it turned out, Thom, along with the other siblings of the brides and grooms had pitched in to surprise the couples with a cake, just big enough for each of them to get a good sized slice.

Once the couples had finished their cake and everyone had a moment to relax, Katniss went right back on stage, “Alright now, this next one is a slower one so if you got a lovebird, now is the time to take them to the dance floor.” 

Prim had come up with that opening.

The next few songs flew right by her, with Oh My Darling Clementine seeming to be one of the crowd’s favorites. 

The people at the Mayor’s party had mostly enjoyed the music by sitting back, only a few dancing every song, the merchant kids at Delly’s party had danced but had a certain order to them, this crowd was a bit more chaotic, but in a way Katniss enjoyed, dancing and constantly switching partners as they spun and swung.

As her second hour drew to a close, she tapped on her guitar as she cleared her throat, “Alright folks, I’m afraid this will be my last song of the night, so how about you form a circle around the newlyweds and let them do their thing?”

The final song she’d chosen was lively but slower than some of the previous ones, the couples spinning and laughing, leaning foreheads together in joy as the guests danced around them.

After a bow and delivering her congratulations to the newlyweds, Katniss descended from the stage, pressing her lips together in a vain attempt to hide her happiness, it was becoming undeniable that singing and playing her guitar fulfilled something in her, giving her an unparalleled level of joy she never could’ve expected.

“Catnip wait up!” Gale joined her as she started making her way towards her house, he threw an arm around her, “Alright, I gotta admit… you were pretty good up there.”

“Thanks. Glad to see you like my singing monkey act.” She said, not bothering to hide the slight bitterness in her voice as she stepped away from his hold since he’d accidentally shifted the guitar slung over her back.

He sighed, “Look- it’s different when you’re playing in the Seam-”

“How? How is me playing for the merchants and their kids any different than playing at a Seam wedding?”

“You’re seen as a singer.”

“And what do you think the merchants see me as?”

Gale shook his head, “You know how they see us.”

Katniss rolled her eyes, “I know how you see them. But we’re all Twelve Gale. And it’s just singing.”

“I just… I just don’t want you getting the wrong kind of attention.”

Katniss slowed down at that, turning to him since they’d put a good amount of distance between them and the festivities, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He stepped closer, searching her face for something, letting his gaze drift slowly up and down her body before meeting her eyes again, “You know what I mean.” He said in a low tone.

Katniss felt like a rabbit about to fall into a trap, “No I don’t. I show up, I sing and I leave, what is the wrong kind of attention that you don’t want me to get?”

Gale just watched her for a long moment before rushing forwards, cupping her face and kissing her.

Katniss froze at the feeling of his lips pressing against her own.

She knew that there were some assumptions around her and Gale. 

Madge had thought they were together before Katniss had corrected her, she thought she caught in glances her mom expecting or hoping or simply thinking she might wind up marrying him, Gale’s siblings always seemed to think they were a package deal.

But she felt nothing at the kiss.

Gale was one of the most important people in her life… but she didn’t want him like this.

Gale pulled back, a grim look on his face at her lack of reaction, she frowned, slowly stepping back and away from the hands holding her face.

He let his hands drop, looking down for a moment before clearing his throat, “I should get back.” He muttered angrily before brushing past her and hurrying back to the wedding.

Katniss stood there for a single long minute, trying to figure out why Gale would kiss her.

She had no doubts he’d kissed other girls before, that he had plenty of prospects, so why would he kiss her? He knew she didn’t want any of the things he wanted, marriage, children, not in this world. He knew she was too focused on surviving and the wellbeing of her family for there to be room for anything else.

So why would he think that anything good could possibly come from kissing her?

Katniss shook her head, it didn’t matter. She would just hope he wouldn’t bring it up again and she wouldn’t have things get awkward with her hunting partner, after all, good hunting partners were hard to find.

Chapter Text

Katniss sat down below a tree in the Meadow, pulling her guitar into her lap as she strum out a few chords.

In the month since her first Seam wedding, she’d performed four more times. One more Seam wedding, a Seam gathering of several birthdays and two merchant parties.

As for Gale, neither had mentioned the kiss, but Katniss could feel a shift in the air, she had a feeling he would eventually bring it up and she wasn’t sure she’d be ready for it whenever it happened.

Under her tree she tried to simply enjoy her free time.

Thanks to the two merchant parties she’d performed at being close together and being paid in coins both times, she didn’t need to be too concerned about hunting since they had enough meat to last the week and she didn’t need to trade any of her game to get whatever else they needed.

That meant that she had actual free time, which was strange to say the least.

She strummed her guitar, shutting her eyes as she leaned against the tree and quietly sung, trying not to think back to a particularly embarrassing moment.

After seeing Peeta delivering cakes several times, during the merchant party the previous night, she’d seen a mop of blonde hair with a box and had started making her way over only for it to be one of Peeta’s brothers, who’d grinned at her surprised look and asked if she’d thought he was his brother with a teasing tone and a raised eyebrow that somehow seemed knowing.

Katniss shook her head, trying not to think about it.

She put her guitar to the side, picking up the notebook her mom had given her, an old remnant from her life as a merchant that had covers made of carefully constructed cloth with preserved flowers and thread serving as decoration and a pen.

A few pages had old recordings and writings of her mother’s, but the rest, Katniss was starting to fill out with the lyrics of all the songs she could remember, trying to figure out the chords she was missing and how she could better replicate what her dad had once played.

As she picked up her guitar to try a few different chords for the chorus of one of the songs to figure out what was most accurate, she heard something, whipping around to see Peeta approaching, eyes on the grass, not seeing her.

It was a rare thing, to get to see him when he was unaware of her presence, he looked lost in thought, carrying a notebook in one hand and a small bag in the other.

She caught the moment he looked up and caught sight of her, freezing for a split moment before smiling and approaching bashfully, going to rub the back of his neck, “Hey.”

“Hi.”

He stopped once he was a few feet away, watching her for a moment before jerking his chin towards the tree, “Mind some company?”

“…no.”

Peeta settled down slowly against the trunk of the tree, leaving some space between the two, smiling as he glanced at her notebook, open in the grass, “Working on new material?”

Katniss snorted, “Oh no, I don’t think I’d be much of a writer.”

He shrugged good-naturedly, “You never know unless you try, might surprise yourself.”

“What would I even write about?”

“I don’t know, about… about hunting? Or the woods, or spring coming in-” he chuckled at her unconvinced expression, “I don’t know you’re the song expert.”

She shook her head, dismissing the idea, “What are you doing out here anyway?”

Peeta opened up his own notebook, a sturdy thing made of waxes canvas, pulling out a charcoal from his pocket, “This is where I usually spend my days off.”

“You get days off?”

“Once every three weeks. My brothers and I tend to take turns since as a whole we’re only allowed one every week.” He hesitated as he carefully opened his notebook, Katniss catching glimpses of figures made out of charcoal dust, “Speaking of my brothers…” Katniss felt herself blush as she turned to look down to her guitar, “Graham told me you missed me yesterday at the party.”

“I did not-” she cut herself up when she saw his grin, he was teasing her, “It was dark alright?”

Peeta chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he placed the notebook against his knees, going to make a few strikes over the paper with his charcoal, “I’m offended, being blonde is literally the only thing we have in common!”

She knew that was true. His brothers didn’t share his curls, or the way he moved or the eyelashes she was noticing now, almost translucent but golden under the sun, “You look a bit similar,” she tried to justify half-heartedly, “Your brothers are just more…”

“Manly?”

“I was gonna say brutish.”

Peeta laughed, “Oh yeah, that’s a great way to describe my brothers.”

Katniss half frowned, “Are you guys not close?”

Peeta considered that for a moment, “It’s not that, it’s more like… I don’t think you’d get it.”

Katniss straightened up, fully turning to him, the angle no longer letting her peak at whatever he was drawing, “Try me.”

“It’s…” he fully turned to her as well, going to gesture with his hands, “have you ever looked at Prim and just thought to yourself… I’m going to wrestle her to the ground the first chance I get?”

“What?! No!”

“Precisely. You are missing an essential piece of brotherhood.” 

She stared for a long moment before rolling her eyes, “You’re messing with me, there’s no way your brothers would ever think that.”

He set his charcoal down for a moment, meeting her eyes fully, “Katniss, sweetheart. Graham tried to wrestle me to the ground less than an hour ago because I refused to give up my day off for him again, because he wanted to go to the Hob with some friends to try and get some white liquor. The only reason we didn’t get into a fist fight is because Bannock stepped in to help me, and the only reason he stepped in to help me, was because last time Graham managed to sneak in white liquor, our mother grounded all three of us when she found out.”

Katniss chuckled at that, “Alright that sounds… messy.”

He smiled, “That’s brothers for you.” He looked down, carefully using his fingertips to spread and blend the charcoal dust.

She hesitated before leaning back against the trunk once more, peeking at what he was doing, vague lines in differing shades of black and grey, she couldn’t tell what it was just yet, “I didn’t know you draw.”

A slight blush appeared at his cheeks as he shrugged, “It’s nothing. I found the notebook at the stationer’s and we use charcoal for the ovens so…” he trailed off for a moment, shrugging it off.

They fell into silence after that, Katniss practicing and figuring out chords, only singing occasionally since she felt a bit awkward singing right next to him, Peeta focused on his drawing, occasionally glancing up to the branches above them.

From his bag, he brought out a bread roll and a tiny packet of butter, wordlessly tearing it in half and offering her one half with butter spread over it.

Katniss initially hesitated, but between his gentle insistence and the fact that she also had food she could share, an apple she could cut in half and a bit of cheese, she agreed.

Butter was a rarity for her, it was hard to produce and Prim didn’t have a reliable way to churn it, and it didn’t do much to help with hunger so Katniss never bothered trading for it.

She found it a bit odd, sharing food with Peeta.

She was used to sharing with Gale, mostly because they always tried their best to evenly split up their game and one could work up an appetite while hunting. But aside from him and her family, she never shared food so easily.

After eating, she moved on to practicing arpeggios while Peeta kept glancing up and working on what she thought might be shading.

“You keep getting better and better.” He said at some point, trying to clean some of the charcoal dust from his hands.

Katniss shrugged, “It’s just practice.”

“I think it’s more than that.” He pointed up, “You hear that?”

Katniss glanced up, seeing a few mockingjays amongst the branches, a few repeating the melodies she’d been playing as they’d been for a while.

She shook her head, “They just like the guitar.”

“No they like you. When you sing they fall silent… I remember they did the same for your dad.”

She whipped around at that, question in her eyes.

He gave her a soft, almost melancholic smile, “He sang sometimes when he’d go into the bakery, I remember because the birds outside would always go quiet. Guess it’s a family thing.”

Something in her ached at that. 

She remembered what it was like, the way the birds would fall silent before repeating her dad’s melodies.

It was almost… comforting in a strange way, that someone outside of her family remembered that. But at the same time…

“They don’t go quiet for me.”

“They do.” He assured her, tilting his head, “Maybe you just get too wrapped up in your songs to notice, but believe me they do. It’s no wonder you’re getting famous.”

Katniss snorted, rolling her eyes, “Please as if… though… wanna hear something crazy?”

“Sure.”

“Greasy Sae- one of the women at the Hob, says that maybe I should start performing there once a week or every two weeks, just… for whoever wants to listen.”

Peeta shrugged, “Doesn’t sound crazy to me.”

Katniss hesitated, glancing down at the guitar strings, thinking back to what Greasy Sae and one of the older miners had told her, “She said that way, way, way back when sometimes there’d be performances at the Hob, but for free and at the end there’d just be a basket passed around and everyone would give what they could or what they felt like.” She shook her head, it sounded so unrealistic.

Peeta half frowned, “You don’t seem convinced you’d receive anything.”

“I get paid because people want me for specific occasions. What value is there in just… playing for the sake of playing?”

He hesitated, glancing down before meeting her gaze, “I think… I think you’re underestimating how much people value music.”

“…why do you think people would value music?”

He thought for a moment, glancing down at his paper, “Well… because music… it reminds you of the beauty in the world… and to me… I think music can be hope. It’s true, it can’t be… controlled or distorted, at least not easily. It can make you forget about all that’s wrong and lose yourself in it even if it’s just for a few minutes… food for the soul in a sense… how could that not be valuable?”

She stayed quiet for a long minute, taken aback by how earnest he was, the way his gaze didn’t waver from hers.

She took a breath as she looked away, clearing her throat as she gestured to his notebook, “What did you draw?”

He hesitated, glancing nervously down at his drawing before handing the notebook over.

Katniss took it, handling it with care as soon as she caught a glimpse at what he’d drawn, placing it on her lap as she inspected it.

It was the view from below a tree, the tree they were sitting beneath, Katniss glanced up, just as Peeta had done every few minutes and then looked down.

He’d captured in strong black strikes of charcoal the branches and leaves, lighter greys used to simulate the sunshine falling down, forming patterns on the trunk. And using blended dust, he’d drawn a few of the mockingjays and other birds resting on the branches, tiny, but still clearly there.

“…it’s beautiful.”

Peeta went to rub the back of his neck, “It’s alright- I’m still practicing shading and stuff like that.”

Katniss carefully let her fingertips hover over the drawing.

Peeta went on about how music was hope while taking something she dreaded and hated as much as coal dust and charcoal and made art out of it.

She could feel him watching her as she traced the light beams of the drawing, observing her profile like he’d find something there.

“It’s not my best but if you like it… you can keep it.”

She looked up at that, “What? Oh no, I couldn’t-”

“No really, I mean- I have more than enough. I’d like you to keep it.”

Katniss grimaced, looking down at the drawing.

Peeta hummed, “If it makes you feel better, you could give me something in exchange.” 

Katniss raised an eyebrow.

His eyes softened, “Sing something.” He asked gently.

Somehow, she found she couldn’t refuse him a song.

She glanced down at her notebook, “I haven’t practiced this one in full yet… so just bare with me.”

Katniss played him a song about winter ending and spring beginning once more, not daring to take her eyes off the guitar as she made her way through each of the verses singing to the different birds that were evidence of an approaching spring.

She heard some rustling, but didn’t turn to look at what he was doing.

Once she’d strummed the final chord, she turned to him, finding him giving her a small smile.

“Thank you,” he half-whispered before reaching out and offering her a tiny bundle of three dandelions.

The rustling had been him, picking them up.

“I have to go, I promised a friend I’d help him man the sweet shop today… but I’ll see you around?”

Katniss slowly accepted the bundle, trying to will herself to not blush, nodding along, “See you around.”

Peeta smiled one last time before carefully separating the drawing for her and picking up his notebook, bag and charcoal and setting off, turning once to flash her a smile, “I hope you’ll consider playing at the Hob! You can count on at least an audience of one if you do!”

She chuckled, shaking her head at him.

She looked down at her dandelions, carefully tucking them into the outer pocket of her satchel to keep them from being crushed, placing the drawing inside her notebook to keep it from creasing.

Maybe she would consider it.

Chapter Text

Katniss had realized something about performing quite quickly.

It seemed that, when she performed, a veil of some kind seemed to fall over people’s eyes, making them think her more charismatic and funny than she actually was.

Like at her other Seam wedding, when midway through her show, she’d stopped to say, “I just realized those two songs back to back are kinda depressing, how about something a bit cheerier?”

People had laughed like her throwaway, deadpanned comment was somehow the funniest thing they’d heard all night.

Or how Madge and Delly had apparently already had to make it very clear to two different boys that Katniss smiling or taking a spin on stage did not in any way equate to any kind of flirting.

For the most part, when on stage, she was seen as a born performer of some kind.

Prim thought part of it was that she so clearly just enjoyed doing it and got lost in the songs, forgetting about the eyes on her.

Those reasons, were the only thing that fully convinced her to try, at least once, to give a show at the Hob just as Greasy Sae and some of the older miners had been quietly nagging and trying to convince her to do.

She stood in the Hob with Gale, behind a tarp Thom had helped set up to give her something of a ‘backstage’, the wooden stage used to auction coveted things would be hers for the night.

She’d found an off-white dress that blended shades of ivory, alabaster and beige together, ending at her calfs and with an embroidery of ivy around the hem that climbed up one of her sides and around her right shoulder. 

Her mom had given her what she called two waterfall braids and in the woods, Katniss had found mockingjay feathers, two of which now dangled from said braids, her now usual rouge in place.

She was tuning her guitar, going over the songs she hadn’t played in public before in her mind.

“Quite a crowd.” Gale said as he peeked out the tarp, going to cross his arms, “Greasy Sae must’ve told all of Twelve-”

“Don’t say that. I’m already regretting this as is.” Katniss grumbled.

Gale snorted, “Come on, you’ve already done this plenty, likelihood of you tripping or something is low.”

“Why would you say that?!” She asked, genuinely annoyed as she turned away, trying to calm herself down.

The only thing that comforted her was the thought that this time around, there wasn’t as much pressure since she wasn’t being technically paid to be here, people would give her what they thought she deserved, so that took some weight off her shoulders, but the thought of performing in the Hob was still somewhat daunting.

“I was joking Catnip-”

“Well it’s not funny! Just- just go, okay?”

Gale clenched his jaw, frustrated before stepping away.

Katniss had a minute or two before she was set to start.

“You’ll be fine girl.” She turned to see Greasy Sae make her way to her, a smile halfway between amused and caring on her face.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?”

“Because not everyone can pay or trade for music… but sometimes the hungriest mouths need music the most. Besides girl, the Hob has been your second home along with the woods for years, what are you so nervous about?” She chuckled as she went to leave, saying something about claiming a seat.

Greasy Sae was right.

Katniss knew the Hob like the back of her hand, she’d earned her place there, had the respect of pretty much every person who traded or had stalls set up there.

They wouldn’t think any less of her if this went wrong… right?

Katniss shut her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as she approached one side of the tarp. She pulled at it and dared a tiny peak.

Forty people standing or sat on stools or crates, mostly older miners and some of the stall owners, though she caught sight of a few younger faces from the Seam, a few merchants and even an off-duty Peacekeeper or two.

Katniss tapped the point of her boot twice on the floor before swinging her guitar to her front and pulling the tarp back, giving a twirl, letting her skirt flare as she took the stage, people clapping and whistling as she went to stand before the mic.

“Good night folks, quite the crowd here, y’all got nothing better to do?” A few chuckles, Katniss bit the inside of her cheek, “The first song I’ll play for you tonight is an old ballad that has unfortunately lost its name to time, but I like to call it The Lost Bet.”

Katniss started playing, focusing on her guitar to avoid looking at the crowd, singing the first verse while she gathered herself.

‘When I was a babe I fell down in the holler, when I was a girl I fell into your arms.

We fell on hard times and we lost our bright colors, you went to the dogs and I lived by my charms.’

She felt the shift in the air as people tuned in, going to give her their full attention, listening to the chords and the lyrics.

‘I danced for my dinner, spread kisses like honey. You stole and you gambled and I said you should.

We sang for our suppers, we drank up our money. Then one day you left, saying I was no good.’

She took a deep breath, she’d been experimenting a bit more with her voice now that practice had given her a bit more strength and control over it, going for harder notes as the repeated chords became instinctual and didn’t require as much attention.

‘Well alright I’m bad, but then you’re no prize either. Alright I’m bad, but then that’s nothing new.

You say you won’t love me, I won’t love you neither. Just let me remind you what I am to you.’

It felt good, to bend and project and truly use her voice, she saw some of the other people wandering about the Hob starting to look, some going to step closer.

‘Cause I am the one who looks out when you’re leaping, I am the one who knows how you were brave, and I am the one who heard what you said sleeping.

I’ll take that and more when I go to my grave.’

She remembered the way her dad always gave extra flare to the final part, finding herself imitating some of his notes and even experimenting a bit with it in her own way.

‘It’s sooner than later that I’m six feet under. It’s sooner than later that you’ll be alone, so who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder?

For when the bell rings, lover, you’re on your own.’

She finally looked properly at her audience, some people swaying, faint smiles and forward leans all around.

And there, towards the back sat on crates, three blondes heads and one pair of blue eyes.

She suppressed a smile.

‘I am the one who you let see you weeping. I know the soul that you struggle to save.

Too bad I’m the bet that you lost in the reaping. 

Now what will you do, when I go to my grave?’

Applause broke out, but Katniss went right on to her next song, tapping her boot on the floorboards and quickly being joined by most of the crowd to set a beat as she sang.

She noticed him as she played her fourth song, a more up-beat one that had plenty of people dancing and spinning about.

The old lone fiddler of District Twelve, who she’d heard on occasion playing in the street, he’d taken a seat by the shadows but close to the stage, watching with an odd look on his face.

She didn’t know quite what to make of him, especially when, during her sixth song, as she approached a break in lyrics into what was meant to be a section for a guitar solo she still wasn’t sure whether to include or not, the man caught her eye, and gestured to his fiddle, an offer and wait for permission.

Katniss hesitated, but as she finished the second chorus that led into the break, she nodded.

The man didn’t attract much attention to himself, simply placing his fiddle at his shoulder and starting to play at just the right moment to join her guitar, couples quickly pairing up, delighted at the guitar-fiddle pair.

Katniss very quickly realized something.

The old man knew this song.

The way his chords aligned seamlessly with hers and fit the song to perfection wasn’t something that could simply be justified or written off as experience or talent.

He knew the song. Knew exactly what chords to play and when to stop playing for her to sing the final chorus and when to come back in at the very end.

Prim, who sat with her mother close to the stage, had her eyes glued to the fiddle, seemingly fascinated by it.

Katniss played six more songs, the old man joining her for three of them, ending with Oh My Darling Clementine, which as per usual, seemed to be a crowd favorite and for which the old man stayed silent but got a far off look in his eyes.

As the crowd applauded and she took a bow, she found herself awkwardly trying to figure out how to approach the topic of payment.

Luckily, Rooba, the butcher, seemed to notice, standing up, taking the basket at the steps of the stage and whistling to be heard, “Alright folks! Our lovely, fierce Katniss didn’t charge you for the show tonight but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to eat, if you can or want to thank her, here’s where you do it!” She finished as she passed the basket into the crowd after placing some kind of wrapped meat in it.

Katniss gave her a small nod, thankful.

She slipped behind her flimsy tarp, it didn’t take long for the basket to make its way back, before even properly checking what she’d been given, she grabbed a few coins scattered in and hurried to the other side of the stage, reaching the fiddler and offering him the coins.

“Here.”

He frowned, shaking his head, “It’s alright girl.”

“You helped with the show.” She insisted.

She hated feeling indebted.

The old man watched her for a long moment before accepting the coins with a small nod.

“…you knew the songs.” It wasn’t a question.

A small smirk tugged at the corner of his lip, gesturing to his fiddle, “I’ve been doing this for longer than I’d ever care to admit. I know plenty of songs.”

She said nothing.

He hesitated, glancing at the crowd before stepping closer, “Listen girl… be careful with what you play alright? Your songs tonight, they were all fine but… music has a way of causing trouble when you cross the invisible line into ‘too much’. It takes very little for a song to be declared as too rebellious to be played. Now, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, I’m sure you already know what songs you should keep private… but just… be careful. Alright?”

Katniss frowned at that, at the sudden intensity in his voice and his almost pleading eyes.

What did that mean exactly? Music ‘too rebellious’? Causing trouble?

She thought back to what Peeta had said.

Music was hope… and what was hope if not wood to the fire of rebellion?

Before she could reply, a small hand slipped into her own and Prim appeared at her side, the old man doing a double take when he saw her.

Prim had finally gotten over her fear of tearing or staining the dresses and had pulled on one of the few that fit her, a checkered long dress, light fading blue and an off-white, a stripped dark blue apron-like garment on top with a make-shift thick belt built into the fabric.

She had her intricate braids and a mockingjay feather of her own tucked into one of the brown pockets sewn into the apron-like fabric.

She leaned against Katniss, glancing down at the fiddle still held by the man, “What is it called?”

The old man blinked once before clearing his throat, “It’s a fiddle little one.”

“Oh…” she pressed her lips together, “It sounds really pretty.”

He smiled slightly, “Thank you little one.” He carefully brought up the case for the fiddle, starting to place it inside, hesitating before glancing between Katniss and Prim and continuing, “You know, you might just share your sister’s talent. Tell you what, if you can find an old fiddle in the Hob, I could teach you.”

Prim lit up, eyes widening, “Really?”

“What’s the cost?” Katniss questioned instantly, squeezing Prim’s hand.

The old man snorted, “The occasional goat cheese and rabbit will do. But to be honest… perhaps it’s simply time District Twelve had another fiddler… feels like I’ve been around forever but I won’t always be… it would be nice to hear some real music around before going to the sweet old hereafter.”

She saw the way he searched her face, seeing if she caught that subtle reference.

She did.

After discussing some more, the old man went to leave and Katniss promised Prim they could search for a possible fiddle the following day after she hunted.

She went to take a proper look at the basket, a quick glance to see what the night of singing had resulted in, more stray coins than she’d expected, a ball of thread, a pouch of flint, a tiny bag of peppermints that undoubtedly had to be from one of the few merchants she’d seen, an apple, a few pretty rocks she thought might’ve been from some of the Seam kids and-

“Hey,” she turned, seeing as Peeta carefully made his way around the tarp, a small smile on his face, “hope you don’t mind me coming backstage.”

She raised an eyebrow, “It’s a tarp Peeta, I’m not sure it classifies as much of a backstage.”

“Still.” He approached slowly, offering her a paper bag, stamped with ‘The Mellark Bakery’, “The basket passed by too quickly and Graham got us distracted doing a… horrifically offensive rendition of Oh My Darling Clementine.” She snorted at that, “So I just wanted to slip back here to give you this.”

He handed her the bag. 

Katniss carefully opened it, peeking in to see…

Cheese buns. Three of them carefully tucked in.

She started to shake her head, “This is too much.”

“There were three of us… one for each, I think it’s reasonable.”

Katniss looked up at him, at his soft stance and attentive eyes and titled head as he watched her.

She closed the bag and placed it in the basket before stepping closer, “What do you want?”

He blinked in surprise, but didn’t back down, “What do you mean?”

“Why are you back here? Why are you…” she trailed off, feeling herself blush as she thought back to how caring he always acted, “What do you want?”

Peeta took a moment, taking a deep breath and thinking about it, shoving his hands in his pockets before shrugging, “I wanted to give you the bread and to see you.” He tilted his head, scrunching up his eyebrows ever so slightly as he observed her, “Does it bother you? Me coming back here? Because if it does I can leave.”

“No it doesn’t- it doesn’t bother me. I just…” she just wanted to figure him out.

Because Peeta Mellark didn’t fit into her view of the world.

He didn’t seem to want or need anything transactional from her.

He had always been kind to her, even when, if her suspicions of the burned bread were correct, it resulted in a hit from his mother.

He was warm and seemed to simply want to get closer to her.

She couldn’t figure out why.

“You didn’t have to come back here. You didn’t have to bring me bread, you didn’t have to see me… so did you want to? Why did you do it?”

Peeta smiled crookedly, going to rub the back of his neck, “Wow you… you really have no idea do you?” He got closer, carefully stepping around the table holding the basket to stand directly in front of her, looking down at her, “You have… an effect on people Katniss… it’s a lot more obvious now but… I guess I always noticed.”

Katniss recoiled at that, snarling, “An effect? What are you saying that- that- that people pity me or something?”

“What? No!” He laughed, shaking his head, “Quite the opposite…” he stopped for a moment, looking directly at her before continuing, “You’re a force of nature Everdeen. Anyone can see that… can you blame me for wanting to get a little closer?”

Katniss cocked her head, skeptical, “Force of nature sounds pretty destructive. You sure you wanna get close to that?”

Peeta met her gaze, unwavering as he slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny bundle of forget-me-nots, spinning the stem between his thumb and his index finger as he looked deep into her eyes, “Maybe I wouldn’t mind being destroyed by you. Just a little bit.” He reached up, carefully tucking the flowers behind her ear, her breath stuttering and her heart clenching when he carefully took a hold of one of her small braids, tracing the final plaits with such a gentleness that it left her speechless, “I would very much like… to be your friend… if you’d let me get closer.”

He let go of her braid, but didn’t step away, searching her face for a moment before giving her a small smile, “Something to think about… good night Katniss.”

He gave her the tiniest bow of his head before going to leave, Katniss following him with her gaze until he slipped past the tarp right as Gale stepped in, frowning in confusion as they passed each other, quickly turning to Katniss.

“What was he doing back here?” He questioned.

Katniss cleared her throat as she arranged her hair, trying to think about anything that wasn’t the way Peeta’s fingertips had just barely grazed her cheek when he placed the forget-me-nots behind her ear and the gentleness as he traced the plaits of her small braids and-

“He uh…” she gestured at the bag in the basket, “They missed the basket.”

Gale watched her, clearly skeptical, “Hm. It took him a while just to leave something for you.”

Katniss shrugged, going to organize the contents of the basket, “We chatted a bit. Why are you so interested all of a sudden?”

“Why are you so chummy with him all of a sudden?”

Katniss rolled her eyes, “You got something against him or what? I know you’re not a fan of the merchants, but you’ve never questioned me even about Madge but you seem to have some kind of grudge against Peeta.”

Gale scrunched up his nose, “I don’t have anything against him I just-”

At that moment, her mom and Prim stepped behind the tarp, having been talking with Greasy Sae and one of the Hob sellers that had a variety of dried herbs.

“You were lovely out there.” Her mom told her earnestly, a small proud smile on her face.

Katniss nodded once, trying to return the smile, “Thanks mom. We should get going, I’m tired.”

Gale didn’t look the happiest but just bid them goodnight.

Her mom carried the basket, Katniss and Prim walking on either side of her as Prim stole glances at the contents and Katniss picked up the brown bag from the bakery.

“Is that from the Mellarks?” Her mom asked, with a tiny smile and a knowing tone, “I thought I saw Peeta.”

“…yeah. It’s cheese buns.”

“Weren’t those the ones you really liked the other day?” Prim questioned, nearly skipping along from the combined joy of the dress she was wearing and the possibility of fiddle lessons in her future.

Katniss nodded along, “Yeah.”

Her mom tried to suppress a smile as she looked down, “Well it was very nice of him to remember.”

Katniss didn’t answer, taking one of the cheese buns and going to take a bite, hoping she wasn’t blushing at the memory of their conversation.

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, having Peeta as a friend… even if she still couldn’t quite figure him out.

The groan she let out at the delicious combination of bread and cheese made the embarrassment and confusion of the interaction worth it.

Chapter Text

Katniss laughed as she nearly ran to keep up with her sister, “Prim wait up!”

Prim walked backwards to face her, a huge smile on her face, “I’m sorry I can’t help it! I’m so excited!”

They’d just arrived to the Hob, Katniss hurrying forward to wrap an arm around Prim’s shoulders, lowering her voice, “I know, I know but listen, you can’t show how eager you are, might cause an up in the price.”

She couldn’t bring herself to mention that it was unlikely they’d even manage to find a fiddle to begin with.

She’d spent as much time as she could the past two days hunting, prepared for the price that’d be given.

She and Prim started making their way through the many stalls of the Hob, Katniss trying to make them look as inconspicuous as possible, to not make it obvious they were after a very specific something.

Once they’d passed by three quarters of the stalls, Katniss quietly started to resign herself to the fact that they wouldn’t be finding Prim’s fiddle, but then-

Prim gasped, going to tug on Katniss’s jacket, “Katniss look!” She scream whispered, jerking her chin towards one of the stalls in front.

It was cluttered with a nonsensical agglomeration of junk, trash and machines. Half-broken toasters, stringless crossbows, cracked magnifying glasses and rusted over flint-strikers. 

And there in a back table amongst it all, a single lonely fiddle, old and scratched but somehow managing to keep all its strings.

They stopped together at the stall, facing a middle-aged miner manning the stall, watching them with narrowed eyes.

Katniss tried to look as indifferent as possible, letting her eyes sweep over the mangled objects before turning to the man, “How much for the fiddle?”

He smirked, “Looking to expand the show?”

Katniss cursed internally, he knew who she was, which meant he might put an unreasonable price on it given how much money they might make out of it later on.

He rose from his seat, taking the fiddle and giving it a spin in his hands, “It’s in pretty good condition, the bow is a bit worse off but still works.” He grabbed a long wooden stick from below the stand, the bow, Katniss assumed, the thing needed to actually play the fiddle, he leaned on the table, “What’d you got girl?”

Katniss gritted her teeth, she didn’t usually trade like this but she placed her game bag on the table and opened it, letting him look.

He handed her the fiddle to look at, checking the strings, horribly out of tune but she didn’t know enough about fiddles to know if anything was off about it.

The man hummed, inspecting before going to take out two rabbits, a small bundle of berries and two small birds before leaning on the table again, “That seem fair to you?”

Katniss slowly nodded, taking the fiddle and bow and handing them to a wide eyed Prim, ruffling her hair as they went to a few other stalls for her more usual trades.

Later, Prim and her mom went looking for the old man, Prim sitting on the steps of his back porch for her very first lesson, the old man showing her how to tune the fiddle and helping her sand down some of the worst scratches and giving her a few exercises to strengthen her fingertips to be able to properly hold down the strings like she’d need to.

The following week were filled with the shrill sound of a young girl trying to get the hang of her fiddle, practicing diligently and, by the end of the week, the sound was starting to take on some vague shape and form, Prim practicing beginner scales any and every time she could.

The old man, who told Prim she could call him CC, insisted Prim be patient and wait before trying to do actual songs.

“He’s really strict about all the technicalities and stuff like that, but I really feel like I’m learning a lot.” Prim told Katniss one evening, as they were helping their mom do the laundry, doing most of their regular clothes while their mom took the upmost care with the older colorful dresses, “The only thing is that he says my name in a weird way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he doesn’t call me Prim, but the way he says my name is like he’s calling me Prim Rose instead of Primrose, does that make sense?”

Katniss just shrugged, “He has a bit of an accent, might just be that.”

Later in the day, she left the house for a performance at a Seam gathering of birthdays, six to be exact.

She wore a dark green dress that went down to her ankles, with layers wrapping around the skirt in spirals and black detailing on the top, embroidery and thread imitating branches emerging from the hips and rising to her collarbones.

She wore her braided headband and her rouge, allowing Prim to apply dark green sludge to her eyelids and try with a charcoal pencil to give her some semblance of eyeliner.

She began her set, going through seven songs, and, on a five minute break while the parents hurried to get some order after a fight nearly broke out amongst the kids, she stepped off the make-shift stage for a moment.

While she was using a tiny mirror her mom had gotten in exchange for treating the hands of a woman who washed laundry for a living to check her reflection, she heard his voice.

“Don’t worry,” she didn’t bother to turn around when she heard him, “you look as breath-taking as ever.”

She rolled her eyes in an attempt to look exasperated as she turned to face Peeta, “And you’re late, as usual.”

He gasped, placing a hand over his chest, “Late? Excuse you but I’ve never been late. Not my fault everyone think there’s a different period during a party when the cake should be brought out.”

Katniss snorted, “What is it this time?”

He slightly raised the small box in his hands, “Vanilla bread and simple frosting.”

Their conversation was cut short by the fact that it was time for her to take to the stage, the fight under control and the bunches of crates pushed and tied together waiting for her.

Peeta watched, knowing he could just drop the cake off and be off, instead deciding to stay for two songs before handing over the cake.

He’d sat with her and Madge at lunch a few times, bringing Delly along twice, and they’d fallen into the habit of talking whenever their paths crossed.

…it was fine… they were friends now.

Katniss was three songs away from her finale, trying to not let her eyes be drawn to Peeta, who was handing the small cake over to the father of one of the celebrated when she took a step back and the crates gave out from under her, wood splitting in half as she suddenly collapsed, most of her weight landing on her ankle as the crate fully disintegrated and she fell on her back on the floor, the breath knocked out of her.

“Katniss!”

As she gasped for air, shoving broken pieces of wood off her, a head of blonde hair appeared above her, inspecting her.

Peeta quickly kneeled over her, a gentle hand on her shoulder keeping her from moving, “Stay still for a minute. Did you land on your ankle?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Is she alright?” One of the mother’s appeared at her other side, “I am so sorry! Can you stand?”

Katniss nearly shoved away from both, wincing as she pressed her hands down to start pushing herself up, “I’m fine. I’m fine, I just- ah!” She couldn’t help the gasp when she tried to put weight on her ankle, Peeta quickly reaching out to steady her.

“Did you land on your ankle?”

Katniss took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on herself, “It’s fine, I just gotta get home, my mom will fix me up.”

“Oh let us take you-“ one of the other parents started.

“I’m fine seriously-“ Katniss said, shuffling on her feet, “It’s fine I-”

“Don’t be stubborn girl let us help.” Said a miner invited.

“I can handle it.” Katniss insisted.

Peeta said nothing when she winced again, placing a hand on the small of her back to support her as he took away her guitar and slung it over his own back.

Katniss frowned, “What are you- AH-“

He scooped her up like she weighed nothing, the years of steady diet and throwing sacks of flour and wrestling suddenly very evident as he simply looked at the father who’d organized the whole thing like nothing had happened and said, “I’ll take her home.”

Katniss felt her cheeks heat up at the phrasing of that, trying to kick, biting the inside of her cheek at the burst of pain that caused, “Peeta put me down! I’m fine!”

“Don’t be stubborn.” He told her as he started making his way out of the shattered stage, Katniss could hear the snorts of some of the younger party guests, “You’ll only make your ankle worse.”

Katniss gritted her teeth together as Peeta quickly put some distance from the gathering, crossing her arms as she tried not to think about it too much, to not notice his chest pressed up against her side, shifting with every step.

“This is completely unnecessary.”

He sighed, shaking his head, “I’m not putting you down.”

Katniss just did her best to not look up or around, knowing that, due to late afternoon just barely passing by, there’d be plenty of people to witness this particular level of humiliation.

“I’m not walking you to the gallows you know?” He said in an almost teasing tone, grinning.

“My dignity would beg to differ.”

“Everyone gets hurt Katniss, nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“There’s definitely something embarrassing about being carried like a fainted girl from the Capitol.”

Peeta just shook his head again, “You’re not hurt anywhere else right?”

Katniss actually thought some of the jagged broken wood might’ve scratched at her leg but she wasn’t about to admit that.

“I told you I’m fine.”

“Alright.”

“…you’re not seriously going to carry me all the way to my house are you?”

“Yes I am.”

“Peeta-“

“It’s no use trying to convince me not to, so save your breath.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Thankfully, since they were already in the Seam, it only took about ten minutes before they were entering her neighborhood and, as Katniss was trying and failing for Peeta to let her walk at least the last block-

“Katniss?” Gale came running from his house, frown in face, glancing at Peeta like he was ready to shove him, “What happened?”

“Nothing! I just-”

“The crates gave out from under her and she twisted her ankle.” Peeta explained, not phased at all by him, “I’m taking her home.”

Gale clenched his jaw for a moment before going to stand before him, “Give her to me, I’ll take her the rest of the way.”

“Just put me down, I already told you, it’s not that serious, you might pull something-”

“Katniss you weigh less than a sack of flour, you’re good.” But Peeta did stop at that point, glancing down at Katniss, a silent question in his eyes, she knew he’d hand her over if she told him.

Gale went to take her and Katniss cleared her throat, “Gale could you run ahead, let my mom know?”

Gale watched her for a single moment, something indescribable passing behind his eyes before he nodded harshly and turned away.

Peeta carried her the rest of the way, the door opening as he made it to the porch, Prim stepping out with wide eyes, “Oh- bring her in please, you can put her in the kitchen.”

He nodded along, stepping in and towards the kitchen, Prim shutting the door behind them and hurrying forward to pull back a chair, her mom already warming up some water, wiping her hands on her apron as she turned, “Gale said the stage collapsed?”

“One of the crates broke it wasn’t that serious.” Katniss said, grunting as Peeta carefully set her down. She couldn’t help but inspect the room, but it was clear Gale had delivered the message and left instantly.

“She took a pretty bad fall.” Peeta said.

“Thank you for bringing her home.” Her mom told him, taking a moment to squeeze his shoulder before kneeling next to Katniss, carefully helping her take off her boots before taking her ankle and shifting it to inspect it, Katniss trying not to wince.

“It was no problem Miss Everdeen.”

“It was unnecessary, I could’ve just walked.” Katniss said through gritted teeth.

Her mom shook her head, “You sprained it, it’s not too serious, you would’ve made it a lot worse if you’d walked.” She added with a pointed look her way, thanking Prim when she handed her a compress she’d dipped into the warm water and wrapping it around her ankle, “No hunting for two weeks.”

“What?! No hunting?!”

“No hunting.”

“But-”

“We have enough meat for the week and we can get by well enough without it for the second week.”

Katniss was pretty sure she might lose it if she wasn’t allowed in the woods for two whole weeks, had she ever gone that long without the trees and the mockingjays and the animals as company? Not since her dad had died.

Her mom rose to her feet after securing the compress, turning to Peeta, “Peeta, if it isn’t too much to ask, could you help us get her to our room?”

“Of course Miss Everdeen.”

“Wait- I don’t-”

She yelped as Peeta picked her up again, instinctually throwing an arm around his shoulders as Prim tried to contain her laughter, already guiding Peeta to the room they all shared, holding the door for him and then pulling back the covers of Katniss’s bed and adjusting the pillow before Peeta gently set her down.

“Is there anything else I can do?” He asked her mom.

Her mom, perhaps hearing Katniss’s mental pleads, shook her head, “Oh no, you’ve already done more than enough, thank you again, anything you need don’t hesitate to ask.”

Peeta just smiled, the very image of a gentleman, “It was the least I could do Miss Everdeen, well, I’ll leave you be then. Take care Katniss.”

Katniss mumbled something that might’ve been ‘you too’ as she starred at her treacherous feet, Prim walking him to the door, Peeta taking the moment to ask her about her fiddle lessons.

As soon as she heard the front door creak shut, Katniss buried her face in her pillow and screamed into it.

Her mom, who’d gone to the kitchen for another compress, chuckled in the doorway, “Well Peeta has proven himself to be quite the gentleman.”

“He’s proven himself to be a stubborn ass-”

“Katniss!”

“It was humiliating mom!”

It was like a spell had been broken as soon as she’d made it through the door.

In the past, Katniss might’ve scoffed at her mom telling her no hunting for two weeks, ignoring her because who was she to order her around after all but abandoning her when she needed her the most?

But now… now her chest was filled with conflicting and confusing emotions and she felt like the sixteen-year old girl she was, whining to her mom.

Katniss was not a whiner. Yet suddenly it was a bit easier to talk to her mom.

She looked away, suddenly embarrassed at her show of emotion.

Her mom crossed the room slowly, sitting at her bedside and pulling her foot into her lap, replacing the compress with the almost steaming one, the warmth providing some relief.

“It is not humiliating to need help every once in a while.” She told her gently, “And I for one am very thankful that Peeta got you home as quickly and safely as he did. It might’ve taken you twice as long to heal if he hadn’t. And something tells me you’re already bothered enough by the thought of not being able to go into the woods for two weeks.”

“You’re not wrong, I guess.” Katniss grumbled, crossing her arms.

Her mom just gave her a soft smile, looking like she wanted to add something but refraining from it.

Prim returned to the room, going to sit at Katniss’s other side, “I gave him what was left of Lady’s cheese as a thank you. He said it wasn’t necessary but I insisted.”

“Good.” Katniss was glad, it was something at the very least.

Her mom took the cooled compress, going to leave to dip it in the steaming water once more, “You’re staying home tomorrow to rest up your ankle, depending on how it looks you might need two days of bed rest.”

Katniss groaned.

When their mom left to get something for to take for the inflammation, Prim quickly crawled into bed with her, barely containing a smile as she handed her a small bundle of tiny violets, whispering conspiratorially, “Peeta left these for you.”

She quickly placed them in her drawer before her mom got back, feeling her cheeks burning.

Prim laughed.

***

The following day in the evening, there was a knock at the door, followed by a head peeking into her room with a small smile.

Madge.

“I heard about what happened,” she said as she went to sit at her bedside, carrying a small basket, “wanted to check in on you.”

“Peeta told you?”

She scrunched up her nose, “Uh, no… word kinda got around… everyone knows what happened. Sorry.”

Katniss covered her face with her hands, “This is so embarrassing.”

“It really isn’t that bad.” Madge tried to console her, “I’m sure everyone will forget in a week or so.”

“I won’t! I fell- I fell off stage!” She half chuckled at the ridiculousness of it.

Madge also chuckled, “In your defense you didn’t fall, the stage caved in.”

The two laughed for a moment, Katniss shaking her head.

“The families I was performing for brought over some fabric since they felt so bad about me falling.”

“That was nice of them. I brought you some notes about what we saw today.” She pulled out two small pages from her book bag, smoothing them out before handing them over, “And, a few strawberries to share.” She opened a small container, revealing the ripe berries.

Katniss hesitated, “Are you sure?”

“You’re injured, and we just got a whole bunch of them, just have some.”

Katniss took one, savoring the first bite, observing the pink inside before speaking, “You traded with Gale?”

“Yes, he dropped by in the morning. He hasn’t been over to see you?” Madge asked, surprised.

“He’s just been acting weird lately, I’m waiting for it to pass.”

“Hmm.”

They fell into silence after that, enjoying the strawberries, though Katniss refrained from taking too many, once the strawberries were gone, they talked a bit more about what had happened, Katniss explaining the moment the crates gave out from under her.

Madge hesitated, “You know I heard… I heard Peeta got you home.”

Katniss sighed heavily, shaking her head, “He did.”

Madge just watched her, “Did you have any other performances lined up?” She questioned after a moment, Katniss quietly grateful she didn’t ask anything else about Peeta.

“I have one in three weeks, but I should be good by then. And I was supposed to perform in the Hob again on the weekend, I should also be able to do that, just as long as I get a stool for it.”

“You could probably make a joke out of it for your opening.”

“When have I ever told a joke? Ugh- I hate figuring out openings.”

“You’re getting better.” Madge tried to encourage.

“You really are!” Prim said from the doorframe.

Katniss scrunched up her nose.

Madge snorted, turning to Prim, “What do you say we help her figure out her opening for her Hob show?”

“I’m in!”

***

At said Hob show, three weeks after her first, there were double the people, which put no pressure on her at all as she stepped on stage with a bulk on her leg due to the ankle brace she was still wearing, receiving applause even as she went to sit on the stool that’d been set up behind the mic, swinging her guitar into her lap and sighing dramatically.

“Well folks, I think some of you may or may not know about an unfortunate incident involving a few weak crates. Let’s just hope this stage holds a bit better.” Chuckles and snorts all around, “Now, I’m on strict orders from my mom to not put anymore weight than necessary on my foot and, since I don’t wanna get grounded, I’ll need you to make up for my lack of movement tonight, how’s that sound?”

More laughter as she wasted no more time starting up her first song, “I want to see you all up and dancing!”

She played for nearly an hour, occasionally shifting on her seat but not rising to her feet as she went through her songs.

It was a good show, one that put a smile on her face.

And if her smile widened when her basket came back with yet another brown bag stamped with ‘The Mellark Bakery’ containing cheese buns, well that was no one’s business but her own.

Even if her mom gave a suspiciously knowing smile when Katniss bit into one of the cheese buns on the way home.

Chapter Text

Katniss felt like the knot that’d been forming in her chest began unraveling as soon as she made her way through the fence around District Twelve, stepping into the woods.

She’d come there second her mom had given her the go ahead, letting her hands reach out to trace bark and touch the taller grass, taking out her sheath of arrows and her bow from their usual hiding place, sighing contently at the sound of birds singing and the soft rustling of animals moving about and the wind moving branches and leaves around.

She’d needed this.

She was pretty sure the only thing that’d kept her from losing it was singing and practicing at home, Prim starting to occasionally join her for a minute or two at a time.

Katniss ventured deep into the woods, shooting a rabbit and noticing the mockingjays roaming about as she strung it to her belt.

She hesitated seeing them, but somehow, she thought they almost looked yearning.

So she cleared her throat and sang;

Go build me a mansion, build it so high,

So I can see my true love go by.

See him go by, love, see him go by.

So I can see my true love go by.

The birds perked up, quickly picking up her melody and singing it back to her, Katniss unable to keep back a chuckle as she listened to their version.

Go write a letter, send it by mail.

Bake it and stamp it to the Capitol jail.

Capitol jail, love, to the Capitol jail.

Bake it and stamp it to the Capitol jail.

The birds fell silent until she finished before imitating her, sharing and spreading the melody further into the woods.

“What are they paying to hear you?”

She turned, finding Gale making his way towards her, two squirrels hanging from his belt.

“They get my songs for free.” She told him, “Thanks for the rabbits.”

He’d delivered a bit of meat during the past week she’d been indisposed.

He shrugged, “Are you better?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go.”

***

It was during a casual day that it happened.

She’d just gotten through the performance she’d feared she might not be able to manage and had gone to the Hob afterwards with Gale, who’d met up with her at the end of her show, insisting they head to the Hob since he’d sold two wild turkeys at the Peacekeeper base and had a few coins, just as Katniss did since the wedding she’d sung at was a merchant one.

She hadn’t bothered getting changed, she was getting more comfortable walking around in bright colors and everyone in the Hob knew she sang so what was the harm in enjoying her big skirts for a bit longer?

But, right as she and Gale were wandering about the Hob-

“Do you know whose dress that was?”

Out of all the people that could’ve randomly spoken to her in the Hob, she wasn’t sure she would’ve even countedHaymitch as a possibility.

He was leaning against Ripper’s table, the best bootlegger of District Twelve, who received most of her business from the District’s sole winner.

Katniss frowned, tilting her head, “What?”

Haymitch rolled his eyes, speaking in a slower tone, “Do you know… whose dress that was?” He finished as he pointed at her skirts, a liquor bottle in hand, no doubt already somewhat drunk.

She took a moment to glance down, on this particular ocassion she’d worn a gorgeous off-shouldered red dress with a ruffled skirt, the skirt incorporating a lower layer of tulle that just barely peeked out at her calfs.

“Does it matter?” She questioned defensively.

He laughed, “So brash. You’re… swamp potato, right?”

“It’s Katniss.” She spat out.

“Whatever sweetheart… you should show a little more respect to your histo-”

“And you should lay off the liquor but I guess we don’t always do what we should.” Katniss cut him off, uninterested in whatever he had to say.

Haymitch just laughed again, “Oh you got spunk! I like that.”

Gale stepped in then, “How about we all mind our own business?” He told Haymitch, anger behind his eyes.

The victor tilted his head, inspecting Gale, clearly unimpressed, “Well, you’re an angry one. What, you just waiting for a chance to jump to defend her, hoping she realizes you’re always there?” He chuckled cruelly, glancing back at Katniss, watching her for a moment before looking back to Gale, “I’ll save you some time and heartache boy, one can quite easily tell when a Covey is in love, that?” He jerked his chin at Katniss, “It ain’t it.”

Katniss rushed forward, all but pushing Gale out of the way as she got closer, “The fuck did you just call me? What is Covey?”

Haymitch raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of liquor, trying to contain his laughter, “Are you serious right now? You have the balls to walk around in their colors and sing their songs and you don’t even know who they were?”

Katniss felt her face start to burn.

What was he talking about?

“Haymitch, leave the girl alone or I’ll charge you double.” Rooba interfered, looking less than entertained.

He waved her off, “We both know I can afford it.”

Gale rolled his eyes, going to grab her arm, “Let’s just go Katniss.”

But she quickly freed herself and got in Haymitch’s face, “What is a Covey?”

He stayed quiet for a minute, inspecting her, becoming serious before he clicked his tongue, “It does no one any good to go digging up graves sweetheart.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“It means you’re not getting shit from me.” He snapped, “If you don’t know… then you don’t know and that’s that.”

Before Katniss could insist, Gale went to grab her arm again, “People are watching, come on.” He whispered forcefully, Katniss reluctantly letting him drag her away, resisting the urge to throw herself at Haymitch when he waggled his fingers in a goodbye, handing Rooba a few coins and going to leave.

“He’s just drunk.” Gale tried to tell her a few minutes later as they made a trade for soap bars.

He sounded very much bothered, like he was trying to convince the both of them.

“It sounded like he knew what he was talking about.” Katniss grumbled.

They fell into silence after that, making the rest of their trades and walking out of the Hob half an hour later.

As they walked through the empty space between the Hob and the Seam, Gale suddenly went to stop her, going to stand in front of her.

“Katniss… I need an answer.”

She frowned, “An answer to what?”

Gale scrunched up his nose for a moment, “I kissed you. You said nothing.”

“…I wasn’t expecting it.”

“What Haymitch said-”

“You yourself said he was just drunk.”

“He sounded like he knew what he was talking about.” He threw back in her face, stepping closer, “Katniss… I can’t just be waiting around for you like some kicked puppy waiting for a bit of affection-”

“I never asked you to do anything like that! Don’t put that on me-”

“You never said anything! I’ve been waiting for you to bring it up to tell me- to tell me if you feel the same!” Gale rose his voice, Katniss cringing.

“The same about what?”

“…about us.”

Katniss sighed heavily, looking away, “I… I have… I don’t know what you expect me to say Gale.”

He watched her with a sad look on his face, like he understood something that she didn’t, “That you want me like I want you.”

She said nothing.

Gale took a deep breath before stepping forwards, going to kiss her.

Katniss froze up, not responding once more.

He stepped away, turning away, huffing and shaking his head.

“You don’t know?” He questioned.

She knew, this kiss had all but confirmed it. But she didn’t want to lose him.

He sighed, “I’ll give you some time to think about it.”

He left in a hurry, clearly upset.

Katniss should’ve headed home, or tried to stop him and try to get him to say that they wouldn’t grow apart.

But she had enough confusion in her life as it was and right now, it seemed there was only one of those confusions that she could solve easily.

So she started making her way towards the Victor’s Village, determined to get some answers since her mom had only ever said that her dad’s family had been performers of some kind and, quite frankly, she didn’t want to ask her mom to think about her dad’s family and, in turn, her dad.

She had no problem asking and demanding answers from Haymitch though.

So she let her impulses push her to get to his gigantic house and to pound on the door. When there was no answer, she found an unlocked window and slipped in, gagging at the smell of rotting food, alcohol, muck and depression.

She found him in the kitchen, asleep on the table, a glass of liquor still in hand.

Katniss glanced around for a moment before grabbing a mug of water and throwing it over him.

The effect was instant, Haymitch waking up with a war cry, clutching a knife in hand she hadn’t seen and had to quickly step back to avoid being struck by.

Haymitch squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before looking at her skirts, “Lenore Dove?” He asked suddenly, voice almost vulnerable, almost reverent.

Katniss just raised an eyebrow, grimacing, “Who?”

He seemed to fully wake up, rubbing at his eyes before making a face between annoyed and repulsed, “Oh. It’s you.”

“It’s me.” She gave him a mocking smile, “What is a Covey?”

Haymitch rolled his eyes, slumping back down into his chair, “Weren’t you ever taught any manners? Get out before I call the Peacekeepers.”

“You’re one to ask about manners.” Katniss didn’t bother hiding her disgust at their surroundings, “And I’m not leaving until you answer me.”

“Listen sweetheart, you are trespassing and broke in, also quite frankly, you’re annoying. Don’t think I won’t call the Peacekeepers on your little ass.” He sat back down, going to grab his bottle.

Katniss got to it before, snatching it away, “I will gladly be on my way, as soon as you tell me what I want to know.”

Haymitch groaned, rolling his eyes, “Don’t take my liquor!”

“Who’s Lenore Dove?”

He froze at that, clenching his jaw for a moment before looking at her.

“Was this her dress?” She continued before he could speak, “Was she a Covey?”

Haymitch’s gaze fell to the floor, taking a deep, shaky breath, snatching the bottle away from Katniss and taking a single long sip before speaking, eyes glued to the bottle, “Do you know The Raven?”

“…yeah. It’s the longest song I know, it… ‘Lenore’.” She realized.

Haymitch nodded along, “The Covey had a very… particular method to name their children, first name from a ballad or poem… second name a color.”

“…what color is dove?”

“Same as the bird.”

“…she still alive?”

Haymitch said nothing, answering her question.

Katniss crossed her arms, “What is a Covey?”

“The Covey… were musicians by trade. Travelers before they got stuck here in Twelve some eighty years ago.” He said in an off-handed manner, like he didn’t care.

“What happened?”

“They died. Or they’re as good as dead.” He half muttered the last part under his breath.

“Then how did I end up with their dresses?” Her mom had said her dad’s family were performers, but he hadn’t had a name like what Haymitch described.

“Fuck if I know- maybe you’re a distant cousin of a sort. Now, will you kindly fuck off? I got stuff to do.” He took a long swing directly from the bottle.

Wasn’t that what her mom had said of the dresses? Belongings of aunts or unknown cousins of her dad’s, inherited to her because there was no one else left to give them to.

Her dad had been close enough to know the songs and be given the dresses when no one else was left to take them but distant enough that he hadn’t been named like them and hadn’t named his daughters the same way.

Katniss curled her lip in disgust when Haymitch set the bottle down and leaned back in his chair, she hesitated for a moment, “Who was Lenore Dove?”

He screamed in rage, throwing the glass towards the wall, not anywhere near her but she still spun on her heel, walking away, “Try not to drown in that!” She called out behind her shoulder as she hurriedly went to leave.

He was there the following day though, at her Hob performance, sat near the back, nearly hidden in shadows, flask in hand, eyes on the boards of the stage instead of her, listening.

He only met her eyes at the end of her performance, Katniss meeting it unwaveringly. He raised his flask to her in what could’ve seemed to be a mocking way but she somehow knew wasn’t.

She just went to step off stage.

***

It was the following friday in the late evening when, during a solo hunting session, she saw it.

A beautiful deer, roaming about the woods, close to the gate.

She aimed and released a single arrow straight through its eye when it turned to her.

Since she was alone, it’d been a hassle to get it to the final tree line, luckily it hadn’t been fully grown but that didn’t mean it wasn’t heavy.

But she didn’t dare to leave to ask Gale for help, knowing other animals might get to her prize.

She’d waited at the treeline for night to fall so she could sneak to the butcher’s, as the sun went down, Gale showed up, no doubt sent by her mother, probably concerned that she hadn’t come home.

He helped her move the deer the rest of the way, but refused the mere idea of taking a piece of the money or meat, saying she’d taken it down and kept it safe on her own.

After some discussion with Rooba, they came about a price, with Katniss saying she’d confirm how much of the meat she’d keep for herself the following day.

Once the morning came, the picnic was her mother’s idea.

“It’s not everyday you shoot down a deer.” She said carefully as she sewed up a tear in one of Prim’s skirts, “Tell Rooba you’ll take six pounds, we’ll keep two and the rest I can slice up for you to make a picnic for your friends.”

“What friends?” Katniss snorted.

“Madge, Gale, you said Delly has been sitting with you right? And… you could also invite Peeta.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, “Sounds wasteful.”

“Well between my healing, Prim’s cheese, and your hunting and shows we’re doing quite well. You’ll still have at least twenty pounds to trade as well as the pelt. It may not be necessary, but that doesn’t make it excessive or wasteful.”

Katniss had sat back, crossing her arms as she stared into the table, thinking.

Her mom gave her a soft smile, “My friends and I used to do it every few months, it was a lot of fun. We did it in the Meadow back then. I think you’d really enjoy it… we’ll be alright if you take a day to just enjoy something Katniss… you deserve it.”

After some more deliberation, she’d begrudgingly agreed, a part of her attracted to the idea of getting to give back to the people who’d somehow become important to her and who’d been there for her. Madge as something of a confidant, Gale as her hunting partner, Delly as an unexpected but not unwelcome friend who’d helped her out with her homework on occasion and Peeta as… her friend, who kept her stocked up on cheese buns and flowers and knots in her stomach.

She could also invite Thom, who’d joined her backstage occasionally to distract her before it was time to take the stage and who she’d been spending just a little more time with. 

Like her mom said, they were doing well, and since all of her energy was no longer necessary for surviving, she’d found she had a little more time to talk and chat and just… be.

She told Gale first, who lit up at the idea of a picnic until she mentioned who else she planned to invite.

He didn’t seem exactly thrilled, but had agreed to let Thom know.

Then she’d gone to Delly, who was all excitement and smiles as usual, quickly telling her she’d tell Madge and Peeta.

She used the rest of the day to trade the rest of the meat.

The best deal of the day was definitely the one she made with the leather-smith.

She’d originally planned to simply sell him the pelt, but the man had said, if she also gave him half a pound of meat and lowered the price a bit, he could use part of the pelt to make Prim a case for her fiddle.

Since Prim was in need of a case and her birthday was coming up, Katniss agreed.

Early the following morning, she stood before her box of dresses, considering.

It was a picnic, either her normal or her show clothes would do.

…but she wanted to wear something pretty.

She pulled on a loose white blouse and on top of that, a squared corset with a ribbon holding in together at the front painted with flowers and a pearl colored skirt with asymmetrical layers.

She wore her show boots and let her mom give her two small waterfall braids and even put on a tiny bit of rouge, finding herself taking a moment to inspect her reflection.

Was she becoming vain?

Katniss shook her head, she could figure that out later, packing her basket and taking off, meeting Gale and Thom at the border of the Seam, Thom jokingly whistling at her and asking her to do a twirl, to which Katniss answered with a shove. They walked together to the Meadow, where they found Madge, Delly and Peeta already waiting.

Her mother might’ve had her picnics in the Meadow, but Katniss wasn’t taking any more risks than necessary, which was why, they snuck into the woods, staying close to the gates since, while the merchant kids had agreed to it easily enough (and Madge had gone with her into the woods before), Katniss could tell they were a bit nervous about it and Thom wasn’t familiar with the woods either.

They spread out three blankets to sit on, Katniss sitting between Gale and Madge, Thom besides Gale, Delly at Madge’s other side and Peeta directly in front of her, between Delly and Thom. 

She was surprised to see they’d all brought something.

Katniss herself had brought her venison meat that her mom roasted in slices and a bit of cheese. 

Gale’s mother had prepared them a simple potato salad.

Peeta had brought soft buttered bread he said they could use to make sandwiches with the meat and cheese.

Thom had brought the crackers he sometimes made with the tesserae grain and oil, crunchy and good enough to snack on.

Delly had brought a bag of marshmallows and a bag of gumdrops.

And Madge looked like she was about to burst out of happiness as she carefully opened her own bag, “You’ll never guess what I managed to get.”

First, she pulled out two bars of-

“Is that chocolate?!” Thom’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

Madge laughed, looking down bashfully, “I’ve been saving it for a special occasion, and,” she set the bars down before pulling out two glass bottles with-

“Grape juice?” Katniss knew of it, but had never seen the real thing, the dark purple stuff could pass for wine.

“Yes, and we’re doing this properly because I also brought…”

She carefully unpacked the rest of her basket, which consisted of something Katniss hadn’t thought to bring along, plates and cutlery and wine glasses crafted with care, china and glass painted with berries and flowers and birds.

Delly was the first to react, “Oh Madge- we can’t use this it’s too nice! Isn’t it for like- fine meals?”

“Well I’ve never seen a finer meal than this.” Madge said easily, a twinkle in her eye, “Besides, my mom insisted when I told her about this, apparently they were my aunt’s set? Said she would’ve wanted them used for something like this.”

Gale gritted his teeth together, “So you just have multiple sets of cutlery and wine glasses just laying around?”

Katniss quickly cut in after subtly elbowing him, “Are you sure your mom is alright with us using these?”

“Yes.”

Peeta shot Gale a glance before also cutting in, “You know, between the crackers, marshmallows and chocolate, I just remembered an old recipe I’ve never gotten to try out, I think we could make a nice dessert if we can get a little fire going after we eat.”

“That’s good with me.” Thom said, the rest easily agreeing.

As Madge carefully poured the grape juice, Delly and Peeta helped Katniss put the sandwiches together, making sure each plate had a sandwich with meat and cheese as well as a spoonful of potato salad, Gale and Thom going to collect kindle to have it ready to make the dessert.

They ate as they spoke, taking moments to simply enjoy the food, Katniss carefully swirling the juice in its glass like Madge showed her before taking a sip, enable to keep back a groan from how good it was, deep and rich with flavor.

As Delly, Peeta and Thom gave their impressions of the woods, Gale and Katniss shared some of their wildest hunting stories and Madge listened contently, Katniss found herself truly enjoying the evening, noticing the mockingjaysgathering at the branches above, randomly whistling tunes.

They started making a little more noise as Gale and Peeta got the small fire going, Peeta turning out to be something of a natural at getting the tiny embers to grow.

Thom smirked, “Someone’s active today.”

Peeta slowly went to look at her, “Sounds to me like they want a song.”

Katniss raised an eyebrow, “No.”

“Oh please Katniss!” Delly pleaded, stopping her tale about a disastrous pair of shoes made by her brother to look at her, “I’ve never heard them sing.”

“I could just whistle.”

“Come on Everdeen, you can’t drag us all the way out here and not indulge us with at least a verse.” Madge teased.

“Ugh, fine!” Katniss rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner, trying to hide a smile as she looked up at the birds, thinking.

‘Were you just like me?

Once upon a time.

When you were set free?

By the haunting’s in your mind?’

The birds instantly went to tilt their heads, listening, and picking up the melody.

‘I’m longing to be faithful, wanting to be kind.

Now you howl at the moon when the wolf starts calling.

Almost innocent like fresh snow falling.’

They fell silent as she kept going.

So Peeta was right after all.

‘Who?~

Who’s~ peeking out behind the wool?

Who?~

Who?~ Is it a monster or a fool?

Peeking out behind the wool?’

The birds started up again, singing the melodies of the verse and chorus back to her, ringing it throughout the woods and quickly sharing their new tune with other mockingjays around until it nearly surrounded them, the others stopping what they were doing to take it all in, everyone but Peeta watching the birds with awe, Peeta himself watched Katniss, who had a soft smile on her face as she also looked up at the branches.

“…oh.” Delly let out after a long minute.

“I hadn’t heard that one.” Madge said in a low voice, almost like she didn’t want to disturb the chorus of birds.

Katniss shrugged, “It has a fiddle solo right after that second chorus, Prim asked me not to sing it at shows until she gets the solo down.”

“How long do you reckon until her grand debut?” Thom asked.

“Not very long, a few weeks before she joins in for a song or two at the Hob.”

That was when the conversation turned towards the Hob, Delly and Madge questioning what it was like in there, genuinely curious. Thom and Katniss gladly explaining, Gale less enthusiastic but still making an effort while Peeta carefully roasted the marshmallows.

He constructed their desserts, a cracker, a piece of chocolate, a marshmallow warmed at the fire but not quite roasted, and another cracker on top, giving Katniss the first one to be ready.

Katniss was a bit doubtful at the gooey look of it but took a bite.

Oh.

She wasn’t quite sure what she’d expected. But it definitely wasn’t this.

Even with the faint tesserae taste from the crackers, the combination of the chewy marshmallow and warm chocolate was more than enough to make up for it.

“What did you say this was called?” She asked Peeta.

“I think it’s… s’mores? Something along those lines.”

“…wow.”

The others quickly understood her astonishment, a silence falling over them as they enjoyed the treat.

The comfortable silence persisted as they licked their fingers and sat back, taking sips of grape juice to wash it all down.

Thom sighed heavily then, quietly saying, “I can’t believe the next Hunger Games are just around the corner.”

The others looked down.

They still had a few months, but the mental countdown in all their brains had begun.

Two more years for Delly, Madge, Peeta and herself.

For Gale and Thom, this would be the last year they would be eligible.

“Do you guys…” Delly hesitated, “I mean- obviously I know everyone gets nervous at the reaping but I- literally feel like I can’t breath and I’m a second away from throwing up every time Miss Trinket reaches into the bowls.”

Gale scoffed, “What are you so nervous about? How many times will your name be in there this year? Seven? The odds are in your favor.”

“You never know.” Peeta said quietly, “The odds can be low but they’re never null no matter who you are.”

Gale rolled his eyes, “Tell me about one merchant kid you know of that got reaped.”

Before Katniss could step in to shut him down, Madge, who’d been staring at her grape juice, spoke, “My aunt was.”

Everyone froze, Gale slowly turning to her, “What?”

Madge met his eyes, “My aunt… my mom’s twin sister was reaped at sixteen. Maysilee Donner.”

“…I didn’t know that.” Katniss managed to say, the silence now heavy with the new knowledge.

Madge gave a weak attempt at a smile as she shrugged, “No one in my family likes to talk about it… it was for the Quarter Quell.”

“The Quarter Quell? Wasn’t that when… when Haymitch won?” Delly asked.

“Yes.”

“He didn’t… I mean… did he…” Delly trailed off, but they knew what she was trying to ask.

“No, he didn’t kill her.” Madge said, “They were actually allies for a bit.”

“Really?” Katniss couldn’t hide her surprise, unable to picture Haymitch being anyone’s ally.

“My mom never really talks about it but, the one time she did, she told me that Maysilee survived on her own at first but she and Haymitch paired up at some point, stuck together for a bit. But then when it was down to the last five or so tributes, they decided to part ways… but then… right after they split up she was attacked by mutts. Haymitch heard her scream and tired to get to her to help…” Madge just shook her head, “…he stayed with her. Until… the end.”

“…they took double the kids that year right?” Peeta asked after a moment of silence, “Do any of you know who else was reaped?”

“Wyatt Callow.” Thom said, a weak smile attempting to pull at the corner of his lip, “He stuck it to everyone right before he died.”

“What do you mean?” Katniss questioned.

Thom shifted, getting comfortable, “Well… his family was full of bet makers.” They all grimaced at that, “Wyatt himself was an oddsmaker, he knew everyone’s odds. But, he also knew people would be betting on him, on how long he’d make it. So, according to rumors, he threw himself right into the bloodshed as soon as the Games started.”

“I don’t get it.” Gale muttered, “How was that sticking it to Capitol?”

“Not the Capitol, the betters here in Twelve.” Thom corrected, “He knew he wasn’t supposed to die at the Cornucopia.” He explained, “And he knew he definitely wasn’t supposed to die defending the other girl that got reaped from Twelve. According to talk around, his own dad had bet on him making it to day three, so by choosing to die defending someone else-”

“He made sure no one made any money off him back home.” Peeta finished.

Thom nodded, “…I heard that… when the caskets came back his father couldn’t handle the shame and… well…” he mimicked hanging himself.

Madge grimaced before taking a sip of grape juice, “My mom said that at the funeral for the three kids… Haymitchthought she was Maysilee, seemed so surprised and relieved just for a second… she said it was awful.”

“Who was the third kid? The girl Wyatt defended?” Peeta asked.

“A McCoy girl, Louella I think.” Gale answered, he lived not too far from them.

Katniss took all the information in, she tried not to pay much attention to the tributes of Twelve, already knowing they had little to no chance every time.

But hearing about the quartet that’d gone into the previous Quell was… she felt like she should know their names at the very least.

“…do you guys know what they did for the first Quarter Quell?” Delly questioned in a low tone, like she was almost afraid to even ask.

“They made the Districts vote for who to send in.” Gale said bitterly, shaking his head.

Peeta’s eyebrows rose in surprise, looking down at the grass blades, “I can’t even imagine.”

“…what do you think they’ll do this year?” Thom asked, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.

“Let’s not think about that.” Delly half mumbled.

“We should do this again after the reaping.” Peeta said, “To… I don’t want to say ‘celebrate’ but… for another year safe.”

“We’re never safe… not really.” Gale said.

“And we don’t know that we won’t be reaped.” Katniss quietly said.

Peeta looked at her, tilting his head slightly, “I think we’ll all still be here… I believe that. Might as well have something to look forward to. Especially Gale and Thom, who’ll be safe from the Games for good.”

She stayed quiet, unable to look away from him.

Thom half snorted then, “You guys remember when… Heath Chance ran all across the Seam butt-ass naked to celebrate making it through his last reaping?”

“WHO DID WHAT?!” Delly looked so scandalized and astonished the rest couldn’t help but burst out laughing, the seriousness of the moment finally broken.

“Should we do that to celebrate Gale?” Thom proposed jokingly.

Gale chuckled, shaking his head, “My mom would literally kill me.”

They took the chance to change the subject, going to trade wild stories of random neighbors and friends and family. 

Peeta talked about how once they’d found his brother Graham inside the oven because he’d wanted to scare Peeta but wound up falling asleep and their mother had found him, getting the scare of her life and grounding him for a month.

Thom told them how, his brother-in-law had fallen off the roof when celebrating surviving his own final reaping and how that was how he’d met his sister since she’d seen and gone to help.

Gale spoke about the first time they’d shot a deer, how they’d nearly been torn apart at the Hob, Katniss continuing with the story of the second deer they’d shot down, and how it’d led to getting Lady for Prim.

They stayed there for longer than they’d planned, digging into the gumdrops as Peeta made a few more s’mores for Prim, Gale’s siblings and Delly’s little brother, carefully wrapping them in napkins Madge had brought.

Delly sighed at some point when Peeta and Thom started talking about wrestling and technique, dramatically draping herself over Katniss and Madge’s laps, “Katniss, I am so jealous of your dresses it’s not even funny.”

She chuckled, “They’re just dresses.”

“They’re gorgeous! And you just have an… an essence about you, they all fit you so well!”

Katniss jokingly flicked her on the forehead, “You’re talking crazy. It’s my mom’s braids and Prim’s rouge that pull it together probably… and your boots.”

Delly gasped, “Oh that’s true! Well I guess it makes me feel just a little bit better that something from my shop is part of your outfits. But really, it’s like they were made for you.”

“On that we agree.” Madge said, tilting her head as she inspected Katniss, “Do you know if your dad’s family looked like you?”

“I have no idea. I don’t know anything about them aside from the fact that apparently they were musicians, the Coveys. And that one of them might’ve been called Lenore Dove.”

“Lenore Dove? Well that’s a unique name.”

“Something about using ballads and colors to name their children?”

“Then how come you don’t have a name like that?” Delly asked.

Katniss shrugged, “I don’t know. I think my dad was a distant relative or something like that… he didn’t have a Covey name either.”

“Or maybe the tradition died down?” Madge proposed.

Katniss sighed, “I don’t know… I kinda wish I knew more.”

“I could ask my grandma if she remembers the… Covey?”

“Yeah Covey… don’t bother. I… I don’t know I don’t wanna go asking around.” It made her feel uncomfortable, asking just anyone, revealing that she knew little to nothing about her own history and family and heritage.

“Well if you change your mind just let me know.”

As they started gathering and cleaning up their stuff, the girls took a moment to convince Gale to take them a bit deeper in, just to look around, Thom brushing off the blankets while Peeta kneeled next to some bushes, seemingly looking for something.

Katniss approached him as Gale begrudgingly guided Madge and Delly. She suspected the girls might’ve insisted to give Katniss a moment alone with Peeta after they’d caught her glancing his way while packing up.

She kneeled next to him, seeing he was picking a few tiny berries, “Those are kinda bitter.” She told him.

“I don’t want them to eat.” Peeta said, taking a second to glance her way, “I heard that, some berries can be crushed up and used to make paint. Flowers too,” he gestured at the napkin he was already holding, carefully packed with pale pink and intense pink azaleas, “which reminds me,” he picked up a pale one that almost matched the color of one of the flowers from the corset and offered it to her, “for you.”

Katniss slowly took the flower, feeling herself blush as she carefully placed it in between the plaits of one of her braids, “You know… I have this plant book that was from my mom’s family, it has basically all the plants you can use for healing and then my dad added the plants you can eat… I could check it if you’d like, try to see if there’s anything about making paints or at least strong colors.”

“Really?” Peeta turned to her with a small smile, “I’d really appreciate that. Have you added anything into it?”

“No. You have to be really particular with the depictions since confusing any plant to could kill you and that’s not really a talent of mine.”

Peeta shrugged as he rose to his feet, Katniss following suit as he carefully tucked the flowers and berries into the same bag he’d used to bring the bread, “I could help you with it if you’d like. If you have any plant you want to add and you can describe it or even get a sample, I could draw it for you.”

“Really?”

“Why not? If you can do me the favor of keeping an eye out for colorful berries.”

She grinned as she met his gaze, “I think I can do that.”

“Speaking of favors.” She half startled at Thom’s voice, who’d just finished packing up the blankets, a smirk on his face as he stepped closer joining his hands as he bowed his head to her, “Could you please do ‘That Thing I Love With’ at your next Hob performance? I’m taking a lady and I wanna make sure I can take her out for a proper dance.”

Katniss rolled her eyes but easily agreed.

Madge, Delly and Gale broke through the trees at that moment, and they went to leave the woods, Katniss taking in the moment, glad to be back in the woods and glad to have gotten to share her favorite place with her friends.

As she started making her way home after they all said goodbye and parted ways, she found herself tracing some of the flowers on her corset.

She wondered if this particular piece had been Lenore Dove’s. She wondered what other curious and unique names had been forgotten by time and death.

She thought about the look on Haymitch’s face, so haunted and pained, about the fact he’d gone into the arena with double the amount of competitors and had still managed to be the sole survivor.

She thought about how he’d seemed almost melancholic at the Hob.

As she shut the front door behind her, Katniss knew she wanted to know more.

Chapter Text

Katniss had been having a good day.

During their morning hunt, there had been no awkwardness between her and Gale, the early morning, good finds and lightness in the air dissipating the tension between them, and she found them joking and laughing as they hadn’t in a while.

It was something she almost forgot, how easy it could be to be with Gale when he wasn’t letting his anger guide him.

But even then she knew she couldn’t give him what he wanted.

He was her best friend… or at least he had been for years.

But he was still important to her, even if at this point she might’ve said Madge was the person closest to her if asked.

It was something that worried her sometimes, how angry he could be. 

Anger at the Capitol that seeped into anger at the merchants and everything.

She was starting to worry he might do something reckless someday.

But she tried to push those worries aside as they walked through the woods. 

He stopped at some point, placing his hands at his hips and squinting as he looked up, “Are you going to try to talk to Haymitch again?”

She’d told him a bit about what she’d learned about her family.

“I think so. Not sure how I’ll get him to talk.”

Gale shrugged, “You said some of the Peacekeepers have been giving you liquor bottles for your Hob performances right? Maybe you could gather some of them to use as an olive branch or a trade for information instead of trading them at the apothecary.”

“Huh, that’s not a half bad idea… but I don’t know… he almost spoke like it was personal.”

“Maybe it was. We don’t know how close he might’ve been to your family. How did you say the red dress girl was called?”

“Lenore Dove.”

“What he said at the Hob about Coveys in love… maybe he loved this Lenore Dove.”

Katniss snorted, “Haymitch in love?”

“Pre-games Haymitch in love,” Gale specified with a smirk, “we don’t know what he was like before. He can’t have always been a drunk. Anyway… that’s just my take on it. He only talked to you because you were wearing a dress of hers specifically, and he shut down when you asked about her again. I might be on to something.”

“…you just might be. Still doesn’t answer how I’m going to go about this.”

“You’ll figure something out.” Gale assured her as he picked up a good-sized stone, throwing it into a far-off bush, causing a flock of birds to fly up, Katniss shooting two of them down.

They fell into silence for a bit, Gale speaking again as he worked on resetting one of his snares, which had caught a rabbit, “Do you think… is Madge upset with me?”

“What?”

“Because of the whole… Maysilee thing… I didn’t know.” Gale didn’t meet her gaze.

She hadn’t realized he was worried about that.

Katniss sighed, “She’s not mad. Hasn’t said anything about it… but you still shouldn’t have said what you did about merchant kids. Peeta’s right… the odds are never null… could be anyone.”

Gale sighed heavily as he went to check another snare, set in the low branches of a tree that’d been accidentally set off without any prey, “I know that… but… I don’t know… guess my anger got the better of me.”

Katniss shook her head, “Well you’re angry at the wrong people. The merchants aren’t to blame, it doesn’t do us any good to pick fights with them. Besides… Madge and Delly and- and Peeta? They’re not… they’re not what I thought they’d be like, being a bit better off doesn’t mean they have it easy Gale. Just keep that in mind.”

Gale watched her for a long moment, a vein in his throat throbbing like he wanted to get upset before he nearly deflated, “I’ll try.” He said quietly.

Katniss tried not to be upset either.

She had a lot of anger of her own, but she was trying to not let it get a chokehold on her.

But she knew for Gale there were days in which he felt like anger was all he had.

They’d finished making most of their trades for the day at the Hob and sitting at Greasy Sae’s stall, eating as they discussed Gale’s most recent snare and why it might’ve gone off by accident when someone settled into the stool beside her.

“Mind if I sit with you?”

Katniss started turning, but couldn’t hide her startled surprise, “Madge? What are you doing here?”

Madge smiled sheepishly, she was wearing one of her simpler blue dresses but she still stood out as the Mayor’s daughter, Katniss had a feeling she wasn’t trying to hide it, instead simply trying to read the room a little bit, a velvet ribbon on her hair worked as a headband and she wore a pretty necklace made of beads and flowers, “Well, I talked to your mom the other day and she suggested a few… alternative treatments my mom could try for her headaches- you know she always has one. But I couldn’t find the herbs she suggested at the apothecary so I thought why not look here? And I found them.” She then turned to Greasy Sae, who was watching her, clearly amused at the polite way she asked for a bowl of stew for herself, surprising Katniss by not bothering to ask what kind of meat was in it, perhaps knowing it was best to not know.

Greasy Sae served her like she was anyone else, which Madge seemed to appreciate, Katniss knew she didn’t like receiving special treatment just for being the Mayor’s daughter.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve gotten them for you.” Katniss said.

Madge gently waved her off, “You got more than enough to worry about. Besides… I wanted to come. I had an additional certain mission from your mom.”

Katniss snorted, “Was she serious about that? I could’ve perfectly picked out a few fabrics myself-”

“They have to somewhat match Katniss! It’s not that simple, you need to have… a certain eye for it.” Madge laughed.

She rolled her eyes, “Oh a certain eye, what a delicate way of putting that you and my mom don’t trust my taste!”

“You’re definitely gaining a taste for fashion,” she gently gestured to the scrap of green fabric Katniss had woven into her usual braid, “but do you want to risk this going wrong?”

“…that I don’t.” They both watched each other for a moment before chuckling.

“What is happening?” Gale asked, glancing between the two.

“It’s about Prim’s birthday gift. Their mom wants to make her a dress.” Madge explained.

“A Covey dress.” Katniss continued, “But most of them either don’t fit her or she feels like they don’t look good on her for some reason so… my mom’s gonna try to make something similar just for her.”

“A patchwork style dress for the grand debut.” Madge added.

Gale smiled, “She’ll love that.”

They continued eating and, as they were about to make it to the exit of the Hob, a voice called them from behind, asking for them to wait up.

“Why hello little lady.” Darius, one of the youngest Peacekeepers in Twelve started.

She liked him well enough, not that she’d ever admit to it.

She rolled her eyes, “What do you want?”

He pressed a hand against his chest, an exaggerated agony on his face, “Why the hostility?”

Katniss just stared, deadpanned.

He chuckled, “Well you see, I’ve got a bit of a… situation. Old Cray’s birthday is coming up and, while most of us may not like him, it’s one of the only times we get to have an actual party.” Katniss tensed up, sensing where this was going, Gale tensing up right at her side, Madge just looking down, “So… I was wondering if you could come over to the Peacekeeper Base for a birthday performance on the weekend?”

“…did you clear it with Cray?”

“Yeah. You’d get a good pay kid.”

Katniss stayed quiet for a moment, Madge stepping in, speaking in a soft tone, “What day would it be? I think you have a performance already programmed for Sunday right?” She asked as she turned to her, gently taking her hand.

“It’d be on Saturday in the early evening.”

Katniss felt the pressure as Madge squeezed her hand, clearing her throat, “Uhh… yeah, I’ll do it.”

Darius gave her a small smile, probably seeing the hesitation she was failing to hide, “Thanks. You’ll have to be escorted in and out of the Base but aside from that you got nothing to worry about. I’ll escort you myself.”

Katniss nodded along, turning to leave, Madge and Gale on either side of her.

Gale was clearly fuming, but trying to hold himself back.

When Madge went to go with her home, she gently told her there was no need.

Madge glanced to Gale before taking her hand, “I still need a bit more fabric for Prim’s dress, and I still have a little money leftover from what your mom gave me for the fabric so I thought I’d go to the dress shop, the lady there has a few rolls I think Prim might like, we only need a few more feet, we can go after school?”

She nodded along, “Yeah, sure.”

Madge went to leave, slowly walking away.

Katniss hurried her pace, heading home, Gale right behind her.

“Are you serious?” He questioned as he followed after her.

“Don’t start Gale-”

“Playing for Peacekeepers?!”

“What did you want me to say?!” She whipped around to face him, “It’s good pay and- and did you really expect me to refuse and risk maybe pissing Cray off?!”

“I expect you to have some backbone!”

“Oh wake up Gale!” They were shouting now, just far enough from the Hob that Katniss trusted they had some vague sense of privacy, the anger that’d been building up over his standing against her shows fully bubbling over, “It is a fucking show! I’m not selling my soul or pledging allegiance! We sell to them all the fucking time! The only difference is that this time I didn’t go looking for them to sell, they came to me! They sought me out specifically! Do you really think I can refuse without risking pissing them off?!”

“This is why I told you not to play for the merchants-”

“Are you really going with I told you so right now?! And what do my shows for the merchants have anything to do with this?!”

“What’s it gonna be next Katniss huh?!” He was getting red in the face, worked up as he nearly screamed in her face, “Are you gonna be one of those girls that spread their legs for Cray if he asks you to?!”

Katniss froze at that.

She could see it.

The way the anger slipped away from Gale’s face as he fully registered what he’d just said. 

The instant regret.

Not that it could do anything to take it back.

There were some things one could never take back, could never un-hear.

She felt the tears trying to gather at her eyes, a knot trying to form in her throat, “You know I might’ve been ‘one of those girls’ if I’d been older when my dad died.”

He winced, trying to reach for her, “Katniss-”

She recoiled, smacking his hand away, “I would’ve done anything for my family- and if I had you’d have no fucking right to judge me for it.”

“Katniss-”

“Don’t!”

He knew.

He knew. She might’ve never said it outright, but every winter he must’ve caught the dread she tried to hide when they caught sight of a woman or a girl outside Cray’s house.

Even now she feared the possibility of having to trade her body someday.

And he knew that.

And yet he’d still chosen to say that.

“Just don’t.” Her voice broke as she turned away, biting the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood as she all but ran back home, not wanting anyone to see her in this condition, with vulnerability in her eyes and about to crack, ripping off the ribbon she’d woven into her braid. 

She nearly slammed into her front door as she hurried to open it and fell against it to close it, trying to steady her breathing, trying to not cry.

“Katniss?” She looked up to see Prim standing in front of the kitchen table, fiddle placed against her shoulder, bow in hand, “What’s wrong?”

Katniss opened and closed her mouth, trying to figure out what to say.

Her mom, who’d been sitting at the head of the table, quickly noticed, going to stand up, wiping her hands on her apron, “Prim sweetheart, why don’t you start heading to CC’s house? I think it might rain later, best if you get done with your lesson a bit early.”

Prim glanced between her mom and Katniss, Katniss looking at the floorboards, trying to will herself to keep it together.

“Oh… okay.” Prim seemed hesitant but went to leave through the backdoor.

Her mom was instantly making her way to her, with open arms, concern in her eyes, “Katniss are you- oh!”

Katniss all but threw herself into her mother’s open arms, sobs breaking free from her chest, unable to keep them back the second she felt her mom’s arms around her, quickly going to stroke her hair and rub circles against her back.

“Oh… oh sweetheart let it out. I’m here, I’m here.” 

It took a minute for Katniss to be able to breath, her mom gently guiding her to sit down in her bed, staying until she’d regained some semblance of calmness before going to make some tea, sitting down right next to her, getting her to take a few sips of water and tea before placing an arm around her and pulling her against her chest.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” She asked gently, carefully undoing what little was left of her braid after she’d ripped the ribbon off.

“…I had a fight with Gale.”

“About?”

“…my shows. One of the Peacekeepers asked me to perform at the Base.”

Her mom tensed up a bit but said nothing, pulling her closer, “I imagine he didn’t like that.”

Katniss couldn’t help but snort, “That’s an understatement. He said- he said-” she shook her head, all but mumbling what Gale had said, her mom tensing further.

Katniss sniffed, “I know- I know he probably didn’t mean it-”

“But he still said it.” Her mom cut in, “He knew how much it’d hurt you but he still said it.”

“…I don’t know what to do…”

“Sometimes… sometimes hard times and trauma bring people together. And sometimes it can be a good thing, it can make you see what you need… like it did for me and your dad. But sometimes it holds people together for longer than they should be… maybe you’re outgrowing each other. Maybe you’re headed down different paths and he’s trying to hold on to you but doesn’t know how.”

“How could that be holding on to me?” She asked, genuinely confused, trying to make sense of his past actions.

“Well it sounds to me like he’s trying to get things to go back to the way they were… you’re… different, since you started performing. You talk more, you have more people around you, you’re coming into yourself… you don’t need him as much… instead of being happy for you he fears you’ll leave him behind. So he tries to get things back to the way they were when it was just you two in the woods.”

Katniss thought about it for a moment, turning it over in her head, taking the hand her mom had around her and staring to fidget and play with her fingers, “…he kissed me.”

“…how did you feel when he did?”

“…numb. I… I didn’t feel anything.”

“And he accepted that?”

“…not exactly.”

Her mom sighed, “Your heart is your own Katniss, if he resents you for not returning his feelings… that’s on him not you. He’s allowed to feel bad or upset… but he doesn’t get to take it out on you.”

She let that sink in for a moment.

Then she frowned slightly as she went over everything her mom had said, “You said… you said trauma brought you and dad together?” She asked almost fearful, her mom rarely spoke of her dad.

Her mom sighed, smiling weakly, “In a sense. It… I was already starting to fall for him despite myself. Trying to talk myself out of it… but then… both our best friends were reaped.”

“What?” Katniss sat up, turning to face her mom, shocked.

Her mom tilted her head, eyes full of old grief, “It was the Quarter Quell. My best friend… Maysilee Donner was reaped, her parents owned the sweet shop… they gave me her songbird after… a canary.”

Madge’s aunt. The one who had once owned the cutlery and china plates and wine glasses they’d used at their picnic.

She’d never mentioned her before, Katniss wondered if it was because she knew they’d inevitably ask about her.

“And dad… he was friends with Wyatt Callow?”

She shook her head.

Katniss frowned, “The McCoy girl?”

Her mom shook her head again, clearly anticipating what was coming.

“Haymitch?! Dad’s best friend was Haymitch?!”

“He was a different person before the Games.” Her mom told her gently, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear, “When it happened we were both so scared… we stuck to each other, went together to check on Merilee, Maysilee’s twin and on Haymitch’s family. Trying to keep it together in front of them but admitting how scared we were with each other.”

“…what happened after? When Haymitch came home?” Katniss asked cautiously, almost scared to know the answer.

Her mom sighed heavily, going to rub at her forehead, at a faint scar above her eyebrow, “…I’m not sure that he ever really came home. He… soon after he came back his family and his love… he was alone. Your dad and I tried to check on him, I’d bring him sleep syrup and your father meat. But he kept pushing everyone again. We kept trying until… until he did something your dad couldn’t forgive. After that… we kept our distance from him, but we never left each other’s side.”

Katniss took that in, thinking back to her conversation with Haymitch. He’d given no indication that he’d known her parents… but hadn’t he known her name? Or at least the plant she’d been named after?

She slowly went to lean back against her mom, “I’m sorry about your friend.”

“…thank you. What do you think you’ll do… about Gale?”

“…I’m not sure yet.”

She gently went back to stroking her hair, “Alright.”

Katniss shut her eyes, letting herself slowly start to drift into sleep as the gentle touch she’d craved for so long continued.

***

Katniss shot up in the middle of the night, gasping for air after a nightmare the following day, in which she’d mostly gone through the motions, school, then shopping with Madge, who’d been outraged when she’d told her about what Gale had said and chores at home and now a nightmare she was all too familiar with.

Fire and coal dust and mines collapsing.

She placed a hand against her chest, surprised by the rage that filled her in the darkness.

How dare Gale? How dare he say what he had said?

But even beyond that… she was mad about the fact that she knew they were growing apart, and that she didn’t want to be friends after what he’d said.

But a part of her didn’t want to lose him.

She hated that she was losing him.

And over what? Him thinking she was making a mistake performing? Some twisted jealousy over feelings that she’d never asked for? Had never encouraged? Had never wanted?

She hated that she felt so much over all of this.

The feelings filling her lungs until it hurt to breath and desperate for release, to get out in any way.

Aside from Prim, Gale had been the most important person in her life for years, had been her closest friend, had been the only person she trusted.

The only one who understood. Who’d lost his dad in the same accident that had taken hers and who’d also found himself having to become a provider for his family.

And all it took was a few weeks and a single cruel dreadful comment for it all to fall apart? 

It made her furious.

She thought back to the small moments that’d been building up to the last straw, the way Gale had become more and more angry, the helplessness to do anything to stand against the Capitol only making matters worse.

His opposition to her shows from the start.

The comments to the merchants, the misplaced anger.

The kisses, the clear despair and resentment to the fact that she didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

How he’d seemingly decided that her not returning his feelings was an insult and somehow meant that she didn’t care at all.

She cared.

She even loved him. It just wasn’t in the way that he wanted her to.

And that was why they were falling apart.

Katniss shook her head in the dark, looking at Buttercup when the ugly cat jumped up on the old nightstand beside her bed, right next to her notebook, the pen no doubt having been knocked down by him at some point during the night.

She looked at the notebook, thinking back to what Peeta had asked her in the Meadow.

‘Working on new material?’

Katniss bit on one of her nails, considering.

The feelings in her chest were too much to keep inside, the anger and vague guilt and despair and even grief trying to bubble over.

Maybe she could try to get them out.

Couldn’t hurt.

She snatched up her notebook, Buttercup hissing at her sudden movement, Katniss ignoring the cat as she groped around in the dark, searching for her pen, making her way to the kitchen and groping further before managing to find a candle and a small box of matches, lighting her candle and setting it at the kitchen table, going to sit down.

How to go about this?

She thought back to the songs she’d performed and the ones she hadn’t. How many different structures were possible, which one she might try to emulate.

She shook her head, she’d just get started and figure out how to pull something together later, if she even could.

Katniss wasn’t exactly sure how long she’d stayed there, writing and scratching out words and tearing out pages and slowly figuring out how to make her words make sense and go together well.

How to tell the story of a friendship falling apart over near-betrayal and unrequited feelings.

All she knew was that she suddenly awoke again when her mom gently shook her shoulder, having fallen asleep on the kitchen table, cheek against the notebook.

“Did you sleep out here?” Her mom asked, concerned.

Katniss grimaced as she went to rub some sleep out of her eyes, “Woke up in the night… guess I didn’t make it back to bed.”

Prim, who’d been standing at the entrance to their room, lit up when she saw the pages strewn about the table “Did you write something?”

Katniss frowned, “Nothing much, just… wanted to get some stuff out. Thought I might as well try.”

Prim all but skipped towards the table, “Can I read it?”

Katniss easily handed the notebook over, “It’s nothing much, I’ll probably burn it.”

Prim’s eyes flew through the page, widening, “But this is good! You should perform it!”

Katniss snorted, “It barely has a structure.”

“You can use the third paragraph as a chorus! And you don’t need a bridge, just repeat the chorus one last time! I think people would really like it.”

Katniss took the notebook back, looking down at her writings, “…I don’t know duck… it’d feel weird, playing something I wrote. Besides, I don’t even know how it’d go on the guitar.”

“We could figure something out!”

Katniss stared and stared at the words on the page.

Was she really willing to put it out there? It wasn’t too specific, but it was still something she’d written, something she’d poured her feelings into, she’d been careful to build up her walls over the years… but it was different now.

People knew her first as a performer and then as a hunter.

She liked singing.

She felt like maybe it’d be nice to let it out on stage.

She already sang ballads of lost love and grief and rage and betrayal and joy nearly every week.

The only difference with this one would be that it was her own.

She didn’t necessarily even have to let people know that she’d written it if she didn’t feel like it at the moment.

Katniss looked at Prim, “Hand me my guitar?”

***

At the Hob, in a light blue dress with small flowers embroidered into it, the skirt opening at her knees, the back falling to her ankles, Katniss had just finished the last song she’d planned for the night, anticipation in the air to see if she’d play another one, people breathless from dancing and with big smiles.

Katniss inspected the audience for a moment, finding someone slipping in at the back, standing in the shadows with crossed arms.

Gale.

She tensed up, inhibition jumping out a window as she cleared her throat and took a moment to toss her hair back, this time her mom had fully coaxed it to curl and she only had a pale blue ribbon as a decoration, “Alright now folks… I have one last song for the evening and… please bear with it because… it is new… and it was my first time trying out the writing pen.”

A lot of people’s eyes widened at that, cheering and leaning forwards in anticipation.

Katniss focused only on the chords she’d chosen as she started her song, “This… is Rules.”

‘You say you know love, but you are just reflecting words you hear.

No iron in your veins to give you any sense of pain or fear… you have nothing but rage.’

She started out quietly, starting to gain some confidence as some people in the audience began swaying, tuning in fully.

‘It’s just another lie, it’s just another calculation, just another trap.

And when the fire’s out, we’re just another old sensation.’

She raised her eyes, daring to meet Gale’s gaze, not looking away as she fully gave herself over to the song, letting her emotion and anger and the injustice of it all show in her voice.

‘This blood keeps me alive, but what is it that runs through you?

Snares and wires, dictating everything you do.

You tell me that you hear me and all your memories are real.

But how do I know you don’t just feel what you’ve been told to feel?’

Gale looked hurt, taking a deep breath.

Katniss shut her eyes as she went into the chorus, a simple thing, but then again, maybe their friendship was only ever meant to be a simple thing.

‘We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

Round and round, two by two.

We run around the rules.’

She opened her eyes again, going to look at Gale, who was staring at the floorboards.

‘There’s anger in your eyes and I know I’m the reason that it’s there.

But still I don’t feel bad because I know that you have more to spare.

And just behind my eyes, are switches that can turn back on.

To clear away today, ‘till all my memories are gone.

But still I won’t feel bad, for not giving you what you thought you were owed.’

She let her gaze drift away from him, looking at some of the birds that’d snuck into the Hob for refuge from the rain that’d started coming down some five minutes prior, some of them joining her melody once they’d shaken off the rainwater from their feathers.

‘We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

Round and round, two by two.

We run around the rules.’

She thought she might’ve seen some unshed tears in the eyes of some members of the audience, sure she saw Delly subtly swiping at her eyes.

‘We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

We run around the rules.

Round and round, two by two.

We run around the rules.’

Katniss drew out the end, playing the chords one more time to let the birds play out their version before strumming her guitar one last time.

The Hob imploded into applause, Katniss smiling softly, trying not to blush as she took a deeper bow than usual, almost giddy for a split second to see they’d liked something she’d written.

Something that’d come from her gut cracking open and spilling out in ink on a page.

“Thank you for being here tonight! Hope you enjoyed the show, you know what to do by this point!” She finished with another bow after seeing Rooba pick up the basket.

She stepped backstage with a heavy sigh, her happiness quickly leaving her once she was alone with her thoughts.

She waited, knowing what was coming.

The tarp pulled back, she didn’t bother turning around at first.

“Catnip- Katniss I shouldn’t have said what I said. And I-”

“Save it.” She snapped, turning around, “We’re hunting partners. Do you understand that? We hunt together, that’s it. We both know we’re better together in the woods but out here? I don’t wanna see you. We hunt together, and we split the goods and that’s it. I’m not going to risk either of us getting less game over this, but you don’t chit chat or anything when we’re out there. We talk about traps and animals and nothing more. We’re hunting partners. That’s it. Understood?”

“Katniss-”

“Understood?” She repeated, raising her voice, not bothering to conceal her anger.

This was more for him than for her. She knew she could get by even with less game, but she wouldn’t risk his brothers and sister going hungry because their big brother had run his mouth a little too much this time around.

Gale grimaced, looking down, shoulders slumping in defeat, “…alright.”

He stayed there.

Katniss jerked her chin to the tarp, “You can leave now. And I don’t wanna see you at my shows either, your siblings can come if they’d like but I don’t want you here.”

“Katniss-”

“Don’t.”

He sighed heavily, going to leave with his head hung, hands fisted and shoved into his pockets.

Katniss went to adjust her skirt just to have something to do. She was starting to suspect that someday, Gale’s anger would eat him whole, and she was finding that she didn’t want to be around when that happened, didn’t want to see him be destroyed.

Her mom emerged from the other side of the tarp instantly, she was almost sure she might’ve been eavesdropping, or at least paying attention to when Gale would leave.

She smiled gently, “You can head home now if you’d like. Prim and I can wait for the basket. And the rain might get worse, best to get the guitar there quickly.” She gave her an easy out.

Katniss gave her a weak smile, “Alright, I’ll see you at home.”

She slipped away, stopping at the entrance of the Hob after she’d placed her guitar in its case, she needed a new case for herself, she wasn’t sure how much protection it’d provide against the rain.

She took a step away from the protection of the Hob’s roof, feeling the droplets falling on her skin, becoming heavier by the second.

She reached out a hand just to try and estimate how bad the rain really was.

Then the droplets stopped and the sound of them hitting fabric came from above her.

She glanced behind her to see-

“Peeta.”

She must’ve been truly lost in her thoughts for her to not notice him coming up behind her, opening an umbrella and holding it above them.

“Hey… you alright?” There was an undercurrent of genuine concern beneath the cheeriness in his eyes.

She smiled softly, “I’m alright.”

Peeta opened his mouth, but right in that moment, the torrential rain began, falling hard around them, plenty of people squealing and going to run back home.

Katniss groaned and rolled her eyes, stray droplets catching her even under the umbrella then-

Peeta laughed, going to take her hand, “Come on!”

He pulled her behind him as he set off running, careful to keep the umbrella mostly above her own head, the sounds of drops falling on the fabric nearly deafening, she knew she would’ve been soaked in seconds if the umbrella hadn’t been there.

She couldn’t help but laugh with him as they ran, splashing up quickly forming mud and puddles.

“We should’ve stayed with the mockingjays!” He joked loudly as they ran to be heard over the rain.

“Doubt you’d fit in the rafters!” She joked back, Peeta laughing.

They ran the first part of the way to both of their homes, when they came to the fork in the road where their paths diverged, they slowed to a stop, huddling together to not be hit by the rain, Katniss mentally preparing herself for the rest of the way.

“Are we still on for Saturday?!” He asked, still tilting the umbrella to keep her as dry as possible.

Oh, right.

She’d forgotten in the midst of it all. They’d agreed to meet up on Saturday to work on the plant book for the first time.

But that was the day of her performance for the Peacekeepers.

“It’d have to be a bit later than we’d said! Is that alright?!”

“Yeah, so long as it’s before nightfall you’re good!”

Katniss nodded along, already bouncing on her heels to start running back home.

Then Peeta took her hand and wrapped it around the handle of the umbrella, “Take it!”

“What?!”

“Take it, you can give it back later!” Peeta closed her fingers around the handle, already going to step away.

“You’ll be soaked in a minute!” She tried to protest.

Peeta laughed as he half ran backwards, spreading his arms as he was showered by the rain, “Well I’m not made of sugar darling! See you Saturday!”

Katniss shook her head, but couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she watched him turn around and run, soaked in an instant as she’d predicted.

She laughed as she went to hurry back home, finding the weight on her shoulders and the pain of her lost friendship lifted for a moment.

Chapter Text

All in all, performing for the Peacekeepers hadn’t been too bad.

Katniss had arrived to the Peacekeeper Base, had been let in and escorted by Darius through a few white and gray corridors to an open space Katniss suspected might’ve usually been a mesh hall but had been decorated for the occasion, a big stage and a mic already set up for her.

She was secretly thankful that Darrius had stayed with her until she’d climbed the steps to the stage, escorting her the whole way and making sure no one got too close to her after one or two Peacekeepers whistled at her.

She’d stepped on stage and had done her best to act like it was any other show, going though her introductions and songs with minimal pauses.

All her shows must’ve truly prepared her to somehow manage to not grimace or begrudgingly speak through her teeth as she congratulated old Cray and smiled and even managed to laugh at some of the jokes the Peacekeepers made in between songs and fulfilled a request or two for a specific song.

As soon as she’d finished her final song, she was quick to say her goodbyes and final congratulations, bow and hurry towards the steps, where Darius was applauding and waiting for her, guiding her through the room, staying close to the wall so they wouldn’t have to pass through the crowd that was drunker than they’d been just two hours earlier and who Katniss was sure she might throw a punch at if they whistled her way again.

Darius handed her a small pouch of coins at the entrance, where she’d left her guitar case and backpack, off-handedly saying some of them had added ‘tips’, she nodded along, saying a quick goodbye before all but running to put some distance between her and the tall gate surrounding the Peacekeeper compound.

Katniss checked the small pouch as she slowed to a walk, surprised to see the amount of coins within.

Caving in to the several song requests seemed to have payed off.

She considered the pouch, silently letting it fall in her pocket as she saw the first signs of the merchant buildings.

Before reaching the first few buildings, she pulled out her small mirror, checking her reflection and fixing her lip rouge, even applying just a bit more from a tin Prim had packed her.

She hadn’t bothered getting changed, she’d chosen a long dress that had a wrapped tulle top with long loose sleeves and a asymmetrical skirt that dropped down to her ankles.

Most of the dress was a soft orange, but at her side, there was a splash of pink, almost like a stain or a vague sun, spreading partially down the skirt and almost reaching her middle, nearly the entire right sleeve also pink.

She’d also found a nice orange scarf that vaguely smelled of wet dirt and, weirdly enough roses, fashioning it into a headband, only letting two front pieces of her hair out, the rest being kept at her back with the makeshift headband.

It didn’t take her very long before she’d arrived to the bakery.

She took a moment to take a deep breath and smooth out her skirt before knocking on the back door.

The door almost instantly swung open, Peeta smiling softly at her, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Come in.” He stepped to the side, holding the door for her, Katniss stepping through cautiously since she’d never actually been inside the bakery.

The backroom of the bakery consisted of two large wooden tables, one covered in flour and dough, the other having bags of frosting and pipes, the end clean and cleared.

A wall filled with shelves containing bows and all matter of tools and metal sheets. On that wall as well, the ovens, two big ovens, wooden paddles hung next to them. 

There was a cart she assumed was used to transport the baked goods that also held several bags and boxes with the Mellark Bakery seal on the bottom part.

“It’s not usually this messy.” Peeta started as he hurried forwards, grabbing a chair to place in front of the clean area of the second table, “Business got a bit crazy these past few days.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Katniss took the seat he offered after carefully leaving her guitar to lean against one of the more barren walls, “…if you’re too busy-”

“Oh no no-” Peeta pulled another chair to sit at her side, “Bannock is manning the front and Graham is handling the deliveries, I just have to watch over a few things that need a few more minutes in the oven but it’s a non-issue.”

Katniss hummed, nodding along, hesitating before continuing, “Your parents?”

“Mother is upstairs doing the books, won’t be down until nightfall, and dad is picking up a few supplies.”

“Alright then,” Katniss carefully opened her backpack, pulling out her dad’s old book, nervously running a hand over the cover before placing it on the table in front of Peeta, “this is it.”

Peeta glanced her way, taking a moment to inspect the cover before slowly opening the book. 

She watched him as he started reading his way through the book, going over the different writings and depictions, each page dedicated to a different plant, his touch careful and almost reverent.

“It’s beautiful.” He told her gently, eyes not straying from the pages.

She said nothing, still watching him, the soft awe in his eyes, the way his eyelashes nearly brushed his cheeks every time he blinked, the faint freckles that dusted his cheekbones she somehow had never noticed before, the tiny smile that kept tugging at the corner of his lip whenever he saw a painting he really liked.

Then he stopped at a page, eyes drifting over the drawing a few times before looking up at her, eyes filled with quiet delight, “I didn’t know you were named after a flower.” He said in a soft voice, almost like they were speaking of a secret.

She let her eyes fall to the pages, the title in elegant writing that’d been done long ago.

‘Katniss Root’

She smiled a bit, “It’s a actually a root.” She reached out to softly trace the arrow-shaped leaves.

His eyes drifted down to the information of the plant and then he turned to her, smirking, “Swamp potato?”

“If you say anything I swear-”

“I wasn’t going to say anything!” He protested, holding his hands up, “Besides, I’m the son of a baker and I was named after a kind of bread, I have no right to judge anyone’s name.”

Katniss stared for a moment, “No you weren’t.”

“Yes I was. All three of us actually.”

“No.”

“Yes. Here,” he turned pointing at the tall cart with multiple layers, “you see the circular fluffy white one? That sweetheart, is pita bread.”

Katniss couldn’t help but burst into chuckles, shaking her head as she went to cover her mouth.

Peeta just smiled good-naturedly, “It’s alright, you can laugh. Not all of us can be named after cool swamp potatoes.”

She rolled her eyes at him but couldn’t quite wipe the smile off her face.

Her smile became smaller as she remembered something, suddenly wanting to share it with him, “You know…” she hesitated, keeping her eyes on the page as she went to trace the bottom part of her root, “there are some of these deep in the woods, and my dad used to tell me… ‘as long as you can find yourself you’ll never starve’.”

She didn’t look up, even if a part of her wanted to see his reaction to that piece of information.

“I like that… did he chose the name?” 

“Yeah… actually… here.” She turned a few pages, smoothing out one with a pale yellow flower ‘Primrose’, “My sister.” She passed to the following page, holding a pale pink flower ‘Asterid’, “My mom.” She hesitated then, but went back several pages before carefully showing him a root with green and purple spheres covered in what almost seemed to be spikes… ‘Burdock Root’, “…and my dad.”

Peeta took a moment to look at the Burdock page, eyes slowly inspecting it.

When he turned to her, she could see his gaze had softened further and she quickly looked away, clearing her throat as she switched the page, internally chastising herself for just randomly allowing such a vulnerable moment.

“Anyway uh- these are the two herbs I told you about.” She pulled out two carefully pressed herbs from her backpack, placing them on the table.

The first was sweet cicely, a gathering of tiny white flowers connecting to a thicker stem and large leaves.

The second was echinacea, a pink flower with a prominent cone-shaped center that might’ve been mistaken for a daisy due to its shape.

Peeta nodded along, going to pull out a few loose papers from his pocket, “Alright, I’ll make a sketch first, just to make sure I understand how it should look, and then I’ll pass it on to the book.”

“Okay, I’ll start writing down the information then.”

They started with the Echinacea herb, since it was the simpler of the two, Katniss using an old ink pen and a tiny ink pot (both of which she’d gotten at the stationer’s a few days prior) to carefully write the title on the page ‘Echinacea Herb’ and what it could do, that it could help boost ones immunity to most common colds, helped treat and prevent infections, and was used in wound healing and to treat inflammation.

It could be used as tea, a paste and even to make compresses.

She wrote it all down as cleanly and neatly as she could while Peeta worked on his sketch.

“Here, what do you think?”

Katniss took the sketch, inspecting it, “The leaves should be a bit smaller, and the center a bit more propped out.”

“Got it, hold on.” Peeta made the corrections quickly and, once she approved, he grabbed a small kit from one of the cabinets, opening it to reveal a metal case divided in squares, some holding powder, Peeta added some of the powder on to a different metal case with squares holding what he called his ‘binder’ made of salt, water, vinegar and flour, mixing carefully until he had the right pink and green and brown for the Echinacea depiction.

Katniss quickly dug into her backpack yet again, “That reminds me,” she pulled out two small pouches, “here are the berries and flowers I told you about, they should work for pigments and paints.”

He smiled, “Thanks. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble?”

“It’s what I do.” She shrugged.

He asked her a bit about the woods as he carefully sketched and then painted the herb on the book.

Once he was done with the first he had to check on the ovens, using oven mittens to pull out a tray with a few thick bread loafs, carefully setting them aside.

Katniss took the chance to write down the information of the ‘Sweet Cicely Herb’, which was used for all kinds of ailments that affected one’s breathing and lungs.

This one was an almost dropping stem covered in tiny white flowers, but it looked very different whether it was early or late spring and they closed up completely and became almost brown during summer, so she’d have to describe the way it looked in late spring and summer in detail.

She was so focused on writing down everything the herb could be used for, she barely noticed Peeta heading to the front to hand over some cooled down trays and then taking a moment to place a napkin in front of her, containing half of a pita bread smeared with a bit of marmalade, the other half in a napkin in Peeta’s hand as he went to sit down and make the rough sketch.

Katniss accepted it, not even bothering to be cautious about her first bite, it was probably a bit foolish, how much she trusted Peeta.

She explained to him in between bites the corrections to be made and the other two ways the plant could be found.

Once the rough sketches were ready and he started transferring the depiction on to the book, she got up, daring to wonder around a bit, looking at some of the different kinds of baked goods resting on trays in the cart and taking a closer look at the warm ovens.

Then her eyes drifted to the table holding a few different tubes containing frosting and tiny bottles of what she could only assume to be dyes.

“Hey… what are the cookies that you frost called?”

Peeta didn’t glance up from his careful brushstrokes, Katniss leaning her hip against the table as she watched him work, forearms on the table and blonde hair almost falling over his eyes.

“Well there are two types of cookies I tend to frost, sugar cookies and butter cookies.”

“Which ones would you recommend more?”

“Mmm… well I haven’t really tried them in a while, but the butter cookies.”

Katniss frowned at that, “What do you mean you haven’t tried them in a while?”

Peeta just shrugged, “Well most of what we eat from the bakery is stuff that’s gone stale or that came out wrong.”

She’d never considered that, had always imagined for some reason they always ate fresh baked goods.

It was a bit depressing to imagine, only eating stale bread while surrounded by warm goods.

She glanced at the tray from which he’d taken the pita bread they’d eaten, she just hopped he wouldn’t get in trouble for that.

She shook her head slightly, going back to the subject as Peeta finished and glanced up to her, “Do you think you could frost some… four or five for Friday? I kinda want to get some for Prim’s birthday, and I have some extra coins since I-” she cut herself off, glancing down.

Peeta looked up, watching her for a moment, “Since you…”

She cleared her throat, half shrugging, “I performed for the Peacekeepers today… apparently it’s old Cray’s birthday…”

“…that’s nothing to be ashamed of you know? I mean… we sell to them nearly everyday.” He told her nonchalantly, “They have the most resources, obviously they make the best paying customers… it’s just business. Not to mention, it’s best if you’re on their good side.”

Katniss didn’t answer, just looking down.

Peeta finished the painting and got up, approaching her, going to pull out three bowls from a lower cabinet, placing them on the counter next to her, “Here, these are some batter batches fro sugar and butter cookies and also chocolate cookies, though I don’t frost those, it obviously tastes a lot better once baked but, you can choose which ones you want.”

He handed her a small spoon with each of the batters, Katniss nibbling at them, and, after quickly checking with him how much each costed, she determined that four butter cookies and two chocolate chip ones would be ideal.

She knew Prim would want Katniss and her mom to take a bit of whatever cookies she got, this way, Prim could have at three butter cookies and a chocolate chip cookie all to herself, while Katniss and her mom could share the last butter and chocolate chip ones.

Peeta wrote down the request on a notepad with other deliveries to be made, turning to her, “Any specific requests for the frosting?”

She shrugged, “Surprise me. Sometimes she begs me to pass by just to look at the frosting so just about anything you choose should do.”

“Alright then. Should I take them to your place or deliver them after your Hob performance?”

“It can be at the Hob.”

“Alright…” he smirked, “so how excited is Prim about her grand debut?”

Katniss couldn’t help but smile, “She is… maybe a little too thrilled… I may or may not have hidden her fiddle for a few hours two days ago.”

“No you didn’t!”

“She’d been playing for like four hours straight!” Katniss tried to justify, chuckling at Peeta’s overly judgemental face and head shake, “My ears were ringing I- I was also worried about her fingertips you know- she needed a break and so did I!”

He tsked his tongue sighing in an exaggerated manner as he stepped closer to her, “And here I thought I’d finally come across an older sibling who actually respected their younger sibling-”

“Oh shut up-”

“I stand with Prim in solidarity,” he continued solemnly, “this being the youngest thing is not as easy as we make it look.”

“Oh and what, being the oldest is a piece of cake?” Katniss jumped at the sound of Bannock’s voice, who’d just come into the back, pointing at Peeta, “Just for that you’re getting it, come here!”

Peeta instantly started backing away, “Hold up hold up! Don’t- don’t- Bannock- Bannock- Bannock- not in front of Katniss- asshole!”

Katniss watched, half amused, half astounded as Bannock and Peeta moved quickly, Peeta almost escaping before Bannock got him into a headlock, messing up his hair with his knuckles mercilessly, nearly knocking back into one of the ovens as Peeta tried to wrestle him off.

“Get off!”

“Come on Katniss, you can get in too!” Bannock offered.

Katniss just shook her head, taking a sip from the sweet tea she’d brought from home, “I think I’m good.”

Bannock half shrugged, “Your loss- AH!”

In that moment, Peeta somehow managed to flip his brother over his shoulder, leaning down so he didn’t hit the floor too harshly.

“Oh that was so not necessary!”

“You really wanna talk about necessary-”

“Show-off!” Bannock got up with a laugh, going to grab a tray from the cart, whispering to Katniss conspiratorially as he went to go back to the front, “No regrets.”

Katniss just quietly shook her head.

Peeta walked back to her, rubbing the back of his neck after trying to fix his hair, blushing and clearly embarrassed, “He’s the worst- sorry.”

Katniss stepped closer pushed by instinct and a desire to help him get pass the embarrassment of being man-handled by his brother… even if he’d flipped it back on him, “It’s not that bad.” She reached up, going to help him get his hair under control, his arms slowly dropping to his sides as he watched her, using the moment to take her in.

His curls were soft. And messy after Bannock’s attack.

She managed to somewhat rearrange them before taking a step back, suddenly flooded by embarrassment of her own at the impulsive move, far too intimate and close.

She quickly grabbed the small circular mirror from her pocket, holding it up so he could check his reflection and she could deflect, “There.”

He only took a glance at the mirror before looking at her with a tiny eyebrow raise, “You carry that around.”

Katniss sighed as she turned the mirror on herself to check her rouge, currently overpowered by her blushing, “I know, I’m becoming vain it’s horrible.”

He snorted, “Image is a strong thing, taking care of it isn’t bad.”

“Yeah well I’m also becoming a bit of a fashionista according to Madge.”

He just shrugged, “Liking beautiful things or having an eye for beautiful things is not a bad thing.” He jerked his chin towards the table where they’d left the book, “You think a book like that could’ve been made without an appreciation for beauty?”

She sighed, “Well I guess it could’ve been done just not as well.”

“Exactly. And if it is indeed a flaw to have a little weakness for beautiful things then it’s one we share… that’s one of the reasons I like you so much.” He added almost like an afterthought.

She chuckled, shaking her head, instinctually going to tuck her hair behind her ear, fingertips brushing against her scarf headband.

His eyes were drawn to said scarf, he reached out slowly, giving her time to pull away, finding the knot at the back of her neck, fingertips brushing her skin and making her breath catch as he carefully pulled the excess length over her shoulder, thumbing the soft fabric, the back of his fingers brushing against her collarbone and then her dress, she almost wondered if he might feel the way her heart was picking up speed.

When he opened his mouth to say something, he was interrupted by a knock at the back door.

They both jumped, startled, Peeta quickly clearing his throat, and going to open the door, Katniss following him with her gaze.

Since they’d been standing next to one of the tables close to the ovens, Katniss had full-view of the door, seeing as Peeta opened it just to reveal Gale standing there, squirrel in hand.

He froze when he caught view of her, eyebrows slightly scrunching up.

Peeta obviously realized Gale saw her, and he was smart, he’d probably put two and two together and realized they’d probably had some kind of fight, but he didn’t react, “Hey Gale, we don’t need squirrels today, maybe next time.”

He went to shut the door, Gale suddenly reaching out, holding the door open, glancing back to Katniss.

Peeta just snorted, stepping in to block Katniss from Gale’s view, “Look here Hawthorne, if I were you… I’d think very carefully about what your next move is going to be.”

Katniss remembered the way he’d flipped Bannock over his shoulder, forearms flexing as he’d handled some dough and strong hands holding paintbrushes delicately.

She strongly suspected that Peeta could beat Gale in a fight… and she could see the fact register to Gale as he huffed and let go of the door, Peeta casually shutting the door.

She went to sit back down, Peeta joining her to check that his paintings had dried properly and saying something about sealing it so it’d last longer, completely unaware of the small fire igniting in the pit of Katniss’s stomach.

A pressure and heat she wasn’t quite sure what to make of… but that she didn’t dislike.

***

Prim’s birthday had been a good day.

They’d had a nice breakfast of rabbit stew and had gone to school for the day, some of Prim’s friends having a picnic lunch with her.

At home she’d received her presents, the fiddle case from Katniss, which had turned out beautifully and the patchwork dress from mom, yellow and blue fabric in different tones, a few with flowers or faint lines coming together in a way Prim instantly fell in love with.

It was that dress she paced in backstage, nervously fidgeting.

“Take a breath kid.” CC told her, slightly amused, “You’ll be just fine.”

His gift had been an incredibly old book containing songs and music sheets, some of which were ones they already knew. Katniss had quickly looked up when she’d realized this was some kind of family heirloom, but CC had simply said something about distant cousins, refusing to elaborate.

She’d have to pressure him on that later.

Maybe he knew something about Lenore Dove.

Once Prim was calm and ready, Katniss spun out on stage like usual, greeting everyone and starting out her first song as usual.

She got through her first few songs and then began Wool, and, when the time came, Prim came out with her fiddle ready, playing her fiddle solo, completely focused, eyes on the floor to not get nervous before the audience, who instantly started clapping, whooping the second she finished her fiddle solo.

Katniss laughed as the song ended and Prim dragged out the last note, “Now if you’d please give a big round of applause to my sister, Primrose!”

They did indeed get a big reaction, Prim blushing and laughing, letting her skirt swirl around her before taking a bow.

They went on with four other songs, Prim all but glowing as she played, gaining a bit of confidence and daring to wander the stage a bit for the last two songs.

Then, Katniss introduced the final song they’d perform that night, which Prim had specifically asked if they could close the show with.

“This last one is a song about old and new love, this is The Garden.”

‘In the time of the harvest, the leaves fallin’ down.

I held what my true love could reap from the ground.

But the bounty of a garden can all rot away.

Without love and protection, and a hard will to stay.’

Katniss started out strongly, smiling to Prim, who was fidgeting with the second mic, glancing at her nervously, Katniss nodding to her.

Prim joined to be her backup for the chorus, just barely singing in a soft voice.

‘I’ll never have a garden again.

Where I fall to my knees and work with the land.

Now I’m just prayin ’ with two dirty hands.

I’ll never, no, never have a garden again.’

They took a moment to just play the guitar and fiddle before Katniss went on with the second verse, catching sight of their mom in the crowd, hands over her heart, proud look in her face.

‘For the land it can dry up, and seasons will change.

A weak love will falter and hearts rearrange.

Gardens need sunshine and gardens need rain…

But my tears are too salty to water the garden.’

Prim joined in again for the chorus, voice ever so slightly stronger.

‘But I’m dreamin’ of a garden again.

Where I fall to my knees and work with the land.

‘Til then, I’ll be prayin ’ with two dirty hands.

I’m dreamin ’, yes, dreamin ’ of a garden again.’

Katniss continued playing a simple melody, while Prim went to play what was almost a solo, one of the pieces she’d rehearsed until her fingertips were raw, swaying to her own rhythm, many members of the audience looking awed.

Katniss couldn’t help but smile to the way Prim had become lost in the song for a moment, turning to the audience, her eye catching Peeta watching intently, a small smile on his face.

She didn’t look aware, suddenly hyperaware of the orange scarf she’d worn as a headband again.

‘Now me and my new love, the seeds for the soul.

Are tendin ’ the soil and plantin ’ a rose.

For after the winter, comes springtime again.

And the garden can grow, like a heart that can mend.’

Prim joined in one last time, the two sisters meeting each others gazes as they sang together, Prim daring to sing in full since Katniss’s voice was strong enough to make up if she slipped up.

‘I’m livin’ in the garden again.

Where I fall to my knees and work with the land.

And I keep on prayin ’ with two dirty hands.

I’m livin ’, yes, livin ’ in the garden again.

I’m livin ’, yes, livin ’ in the garden again.’

They finished the song with Prim playing her melody again, adding some flare to the end.

The two were still looking at each other, big smiles on faces, the feeling of being lost in performance and song still strong and something that now Katniss could share being broken by the applause of the crowd.

Katniss took Prim’s hand, the two bowing together, Prim looking a bit overwhelmed as they bowed one last time before slipping behind their tarp, laughing.

“Oh that was amazing!” Prim all but threw herself at Katniss, Katniss gladly hugging her and squeezing her against her.

“You were great out there.”

“Does it always feel like that?” Prim asked, “So… so…” she trailed off, unable to find the words to describe the way she’d become lost in the song, the feeling of so many people clearly enjoying their songs and the performance and connecting with the songs.

Katniss tucked her sister’s hair behind her ear, “Yes. It always feels like that.”

Prim smiled big.

“Well you knocked it out of the park kid.” CC appeared with a small smile, looking at the two of them, something like melancholy passing behind his eyes, “…both of you.”

“Thank you CC!” Prim went to hug him, CC a bit surprised but returning the hug, “Oh- I didn’t think it’d feel so- so- so right? I’m just glad I didn’t mess up.”

“You practiced too much to mess up.” CC assured her.

Katniss was struck by a sudden thought, “Hey… I never asked… what does CC stand for?”

He blinked once in surprise, hesitating before speaking, “Clerk Carmine.”

He was a Covey.

Clerk Carmine sounded like a Covey name, a Covey had been right under Katniss’s nose this entire time.

She was definitely asking more about that later.

But now, it was Prim’s birthday, and anytime now-

“Oh, you were amazing up there!” Their mom joined them backstage, welcoming a hug from Prim.

“I agree.” Another person slipped past the tarp, Peeta, looking at Prim with a smile, “You played like you were born for it.”

Prim’s smile was so big Katniss was staring to worry her cheeks would hurt the following day, “Thank you Peeta! I was really nervous but- but I think I did well.”

“You did more than well.” Peeta assured her, before revealing a small white box with a yellow ribbon he’d been hiding behind his back, “And I am quite glad to be making this delivery for the new fiddler of Twelve.”

Katniss went to stand next to Peeta, smiling to Prim, “One last little gift, you deserve it.”

Prim lit up further as soon as she saw the Mellark Bakery seal on the side of the box, “Really?”

“Really.”

“Go for it.” Peeta told her with a small wink.

Prim carefully undid the ribbon, taking a moment to tie it to her wrist to make sure she didn’t lose it before opening the box and-

She gave a delighted laugh, “They’re primroses!”

Katniss glanced to Peeta, who just gave a cocky smirk, Prim turning the box so she could see and-

Two of the butter cookies had delicate primroses frosted on top, one with pale yellow primroses, the other with blue ones.

And the other two-

“I also made an asterid one and a swamp potato o-”

Katniss gave him a playful shove, chuckling.

“What?! I did the flower part not the root part!”

Indeed, there was a cookie with a single delicately frosted pink asterid on top and one with the white three-petal flower that appeared at the top of the root she’d been named after, having the purple center and even a single arrow-shaped leave slightly popping out of the cookie.

The chocolate chip cookies rested in between the flowers.

“Oh thank you so much Peeta I love them!” Prim told him.

He smiled kindly, “Oh don’t thank me, those are from your sister. This is from me,” he said as he handed her a sheet of folded paper, Prim opening it to see a carefully done portrait of Buttercup with the paints he must’ve made with some of the flowers Katniss had found, “happy birthday Prim.”

Prim lit up even more, if that was even possible, “Thank you Peeta!”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He smiled, reaching out and gently placing a hand against Katniss’s lower back, handing her a tiny paper bag, “I’ll leave you to celebrate, have a good night.”

“Thank you Peeta, get home safely.” Their mom told him, an arm wrapped around Prim’s shoulders.

Clerk Carmine watched Katniss for a moment, quietly shaking his head with a tiny smile as he also said his goodbyes and left after making Prim promise to rest her hands the following day.

As they began their walk home, Prim shut the box, deciding to not eat the cookies until they were home and could have them with milk.

She explained every tiny detail of her performance to their mom as they walked, explaining the notes she’d decided to add at the very end of The Garden and why she’d been nervous to play Wool.

They arrived home and Prim went to set up the table excitedly.

As she flew around the kitchen, Katniss went to open the paper bag Peeta had given her, it was smaller than the one he usually gave her, and she already suspected it wasn’t the cheese buns he brought to nearly every show.

But of all the things it could’ve been-

She froze, looking inside the bag.

Her mom quickly noticed, looking away from Prim to look at her, “Katniss? Is everything alright?”

She didn’t answer, slowly reaching into the bag and pulling out a final butter cookie, decorated with purple and green spheres with tiny spikes.

Her mom’s breath caught, “…oh.”

“What’s that one?” Prim asked as she started serving milk into cups.

Katniss blinked a few times, barely able to speak, “…a burdock root.”

Prim paused at that, “Dad’s plant?”

“…yeah… dad’s plant.”

Her mom wrapped an arm around her, pressing their heads together for a moment.

Katniss weakly smiled, somehow feeling almost bittersweet as she inspected the carefully frosted cookie.

Prim joined into the hug and, after a moment, their mom spoke, “Your dad would’ve loved to see you two on stage tonight… he would be so proud… and I’m proud too.”

The sisters said nothing, no words needed as they remained in the hug for a minute before going to the table and sitting down, going back to talk about the performance and Prim’s dress and overall, her thirteenth birthday.

It was a good night.

They ate their cookies, surprised at the detail Peeta had included, Katniss telling Prim a bit about what she’d seen at the bakery.

As her mom went to make some sandwiches, Katniss carefully took a tiny bite out of the burdock cookie…

It was a good night.

Chapter Text

Katniss didn’t look back as soon as she and Gale left the woods after a hunt, heading straight towards CC’s home before Gale could try to make conversation.

It didn’t take her long to make it there, knocking on the door and quickly being answered by the old man.

“Here.” She handed over a rabbit, like she tended to do once or twice a week.

“Thank you girl.”

“Are you a Covey?” She asked before she could talk herself out of it.

He froze, tensing up for a moment before half frowning, watching her, “What?”

She didn’t back down, “Your name… seems Covey… are you?”

He sighed heavily, turning away for a moment, “Where did you hear that word?”

Katniss considered lying, but didn’t really see the point to it, “From Haymitch.”

Clerk Carmine tensed up further, “What did he tell you?”

“Not much. Just said something about… looking like a Covey, I was wearing one of my dresses.” Not quite the truth but she wouldn’t repeat exactly what the drunk had said to Gale, “When I asked more he tried to shut me down, but I got him to tell me that Coveys were musicians… and that they have… rather unique names.”

Clerk Carmine watched her for a long moment before taking a step back, “You’d best step in.”

Katniss went in, his was a small house, not too different than her own, she stopped in the kitchen, Clerk Carmine going to the stove, he’d been preparing some tea apparently, continuing doing so in silence for a minute.

“Haymitch shouldn’t have spoken to you.” He grumbled under his breath as he crushed up some herbs, “Especially not about this… it’s not his place.”

“He didn’t seem to want to.” Katniss told him, placing her hands against the back of one of the chairs, leaning against it but not going to sit down yet, “He only gave in because I kept pushing…” she glanced down to the floor, hesitating before returning her gaze to Clerk Carmine’s back, “Did you know Lenore Dove?”

He didn’t freeze, but he did slow down, taking a deep breath, “Did he tell you about her?”

“Not quite… I…” Katniss felt herself blush, “He didn’t answer my questions in the Hob so I may or may not have shown up to his house to get him to tell me… he was asleep… I woke him up with a mug of water to the face and when he woke up, he called me that. But when I asked him about her specifically he…” she remember the glass flying into the wall and shattering, “He didn’t really tell me anything else. So… did you know her?”

Clerk Carmine didn’t turn to look at her, “Yeah… yeah I knew her. Her mom and I grew up together, she was a dear friend of mine… so I raised her as my own after her mom died in childbirth along with another Covey… we were her uncles.”

“…oh.”

She had not expected that.

He quietly placed a mug with tea in front of her, the one he’d added herbs to, “These herbs should help keep your voice healthy, I’ll give you some, tell you where you can find them.” He said softly as he sat down with his own mug.

Katniss placed her hands around the mug, looking down into the tea, “I… what happened to the other Coveys?”

Clerk Carmine kept his gaze on his tea, “Kid… I don’t know that it’s safe for you to know.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I just don’t think-”

“I’m at least part Covey, aren’t I?” Katniss questioned, rising up to her feet, “I grew up with your songs, for some reason you or someone else chose to give those dresses to my dad even though he doesn’t have a name like yours and neither do me or my sister- you are teaching my sister and you’re letting us- I don’t even know if we’re doing something traditional or carrying on something or- don’t I deserve to know at least a bit? I want to know. What were the Covey? What happened?”

Clerk Carmine watched her for a long moment, before he sighed heavily, starting almost somberly, “I’m the last left. When we first got stuck in Twelve there were six of us, Maude Ivory and I were the youngest. She played an old drum sometimes, but she mostly sang, even at nine we all knew she would take over as main singer at some point.” A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lip, “Your sister reminds me of her a bit… but Maude Ivory was a lot louder, always talking… she was Lenore Dove’s mother. There was my brother, Billy Taupe, he died when I was around twelve… he was shot, we never knew who did it… he played the tune-box.”

“Tune-box?” She asked quietly as she sat back down.

“The accordion.”

“There was Tam Amber, a lost soul, he played the mandolin, helped me raise Lenore Dove… he was my best friend, he became my brother even before Billy Taupe died. Billy Taupe… we stopped considering him one of us after he did something… it doesn’t matter anymore. Tam Amber was a great blacksmith, he made your father some  steel arrowheads, you might still have those.”

She did. They were some of her most prized possessions, the arrowheads she used to take down bigger game and that she carefully cleaned and reused.

She’d wondered once or twice where her dad had gotten them. 

Now she knew.

“What did he play?”

“The mandolin. He passed a few years after Lenore Dove did… couldn’t bear the heart break anymore. He passed about a year after you were born, he was the one who gave your father the dresses.”

Oh… she owed the arrowheads and the dresses to the same person and she’d never known his name up until now.

It was  strange feeling, she repeated the names in her mind; Tam Amber, arrowheads and dresses and mandolin and Lenore Dove. Billy Taupe, who’d made some kind of mistake or something bad enough to stop being seen as one of the Covey, the tunebox. Maude Ivory, loud and bright, a singer that Prim reminded Clerk Carmine of.

“And…” he trailed off for a moment, finally looking at her, “There was Barb Azure. She was your grandmother.”

Katniss sucked in a breath, “Barb Azure?”

“Barb Azure. She played the bass. Picture a gigantic fiddle. Actually- she taught me to play the fiddle, she was a master at anything with strings. She was quiet and kind, loved her braids and her birds. She adored your dad… she passed when he was around fifteen, got sick. But she always wanted granddaughters.”

Katniss took that information in.

She remembered her dad speaking of his mom once or twice, that she’d taught him to play the guitar, that Katniss had gotten her hair from her. 

She’d never known her name though.

“…why didn’t my dad have a Covey name?”

He half shrugged, leaning back on his chair, “Us Covey… we were never really seen as part of the District… we were always outsiders, it got especially bad right after my brother died. We were being told what we could or couldn’t sing, where we could perform, it was getting… stifling to say the least. Barb Azure wanted to give your dad the best chance she could, and it killed her to not give him a Covey name but she thought he might be safer that way… and I think she was right.”

Katniss looked down, fidgeting with the sleeves of her hunting jacket, “Oh… I guess that makes sense. But- you said Billy Taupe was your brother, were the rest all cousins or-”

“No. The girls were cousins, but I wasn’t related to them or to Tam Amber, he was a lost soul. But we were all Covey, and Covey take care of their own.”

Katniss couldn’t help but snort, raising an eyebrow at that, “Is that so?”

From what she understood, after Maude Ivory had died, Tam Amber and Clerk Carmine had stepped in to raise Lenore Dove. 

She remembered being eleven, stumbling in the rain, clutching her stomach from hunger.

Wishing someone would help her, save her, at least take pity on her.

The only person to do so had been another eleven year old who she suspected had taken a beating in order to help her.

Clerk Carmine looked down, clearly knowing what she was thinking about, “After what happened with Lenore Dove… I believed something Barb Azure had said when Burdock was born… that maybe the Covey were cursed, meant to die young, that we’d been somehow marked for death after the whole mess with Billy Taupe… I thought it’d be safer for you if I kept my distance.”

Katniss shook her head, “What happened with Lenore Dove?”

He started shaking his head, “Kid-”

“Please. I can only assume you might’ve still spoken to my dad if whatever happened to her hadn’t. You say I’m safer off not knowing, quite frankly, I think it’s the opposite. So what happened? Tell me.” She whispered the last part, half pleading much to her own embarrassment.

He watched her for a long moment, taking a sip of tea before standing up, going to stand against the sink, “There are gaps, even I don’t fully know what happened… but you have to understand… it really is best if it stays between us, I don’t think you should tell your sister, she’s too young.”

“Of course.” She answered quickly, heart picking up speed.

Clerk Carmine crossed his arms, starting the tale in a way Katniss had most certainly not seen coming, “Haymitch did… something. In his Games. I don’t know exactly what he did, I’m sure not a single piece of that particular footage ever made it to our screens, but he did something that angered Snow himself. Again, I don’t know what he did… but it was enough that the Capitol thought they should send him… a message.” He sighed again, going to rub his eyebrows, partially covering his face with his hand, “He and Lenore Dove were… in love… and when Haymitch was reaped, Lenore Dove was devastated, she sang songs she shouldn’t have, got arrested for it… Tam Amber and I didn’t let her even leave the house until two weeks after Haymitch got home… they met in the Meadow… Tam Amber and I were not far… we were- we were right there-” his voice broke for a moment, forcing the words out, sounding torn, “one second she’d just left, going off with her geese, relieved to finally be outside, and the next…”

“Haymitch was screaming. Begging for help. We ran to the Meadow, found him under the tree, Lenore Dove in his arms- blood trailing down her mouth. I did everything I knew to do… but it didn’t matter… she was already gone.” He pressed his lips together harshly, “Appendicitis, they said.”

Katniss stayed still for a moment, picturing the moment.

“I never liked Haymitch.” He continued, almost whispering, “Didn’t want him around Lenore Dove… but I’ll never forget the look on his face… the desperation- he was just sixteen-” he turned away, leaning against the sink heavily.

Katniss watched her tea for a moment, hesitating before speaking, “Is there… any chance… that it was appendicitis?”

Clerk Carmine didn’t turn around, just laughing humorlessly, “Do you know why Haymitch lives in that house all on his lonesome kid? He had a family, a mother and a little brother… they died the night he came back after being paraded around the Capitol as the victor… it was practically perfect timing, his house went up in flames as soon as his train pulled into the station, I heard he made it to the Seam just in time to see the flames at their highest, to hear the last of the screams… and two weeks later, the moment he reunited with Lenore Dove…” he let his head hang down, “Do you believe in coincidences that much?”

Katniss didn’t answer.

“There were gumdrops… scattered over the grass. He’d get them for her anytime he could… he’d gotten some for her on Reaping Day, to celebrate if they didn’t get reaped… his brother got them to her after he was taken. They were still on her bed that day… those gumdrops… I don’t know if Haymitch got more and maybe they got switched or if Lenore Dove found them… they were blood red.”

Katniss looked down at her hands, at the callouses that had formed from playing the guitar, “…what did she play?”

“…the piano… and the tune box. She wrote, but she didn’t really like singing in public though… most her songs never made it to performances, they were too… rebellious.”

“…I’m sorry.”

Clerk Carmine finally turned around, “Wasn’t your fault.”

Katniss glanced down, “Does it bother you? Me playing your songs?”

“No. If anything… it’s good, to see that no matter how much everyone tried they couldn’t kill our traditions. It’s… bittersweet… but I’m glad you somehow found your way back to your roots.”

She half smiled, “It’s… been strange… it feels right. I guess now I know why.”

Clerk Carmine watched her for a long moment, before gesturing for her to follow him.

She slowly rose to her feet, setting down the tea that’d already soothed her throat and following him into a tiny storage room, where, leaning against a wall, almost like gravestones, there were instrument cases.

He grabbed one, carefully opening it, revealing a guitar-like instrument, but the bottom part was more tear-shaped.

“This was Tam Amber’s mandolin. It’s… somewhat similar to playing the guitar. He used to say it was easier playing the mandolin than playing the guitar, but that it was easier to sound good on the guitar than it was to sound good on the mandolin.”

He opened a circular one to reveal a makeshift drum, meant to be swung over a shoulder and leaned against one’s hip, “Maude Ivory’s drum. Though like I said, she much preferred singing, especially when she fully took over as main singer.”

He went on to a much bigger case, opening it to reveal a longer, thicker version of the fiddle, with elegant black knobs for tunning, “Barb Azure’s bass.”

And then he went on to a smaller square case, opening to reveal an instrument with some keys on one side and buttons on the other, with a joining pleaded center, “Lenore Dove’s tune box… though it was Billy Taupe’s once.”

Katniss noticed they all looked well taken care of, free of dust and the cases carefully placed back against the wall, lovingly, the last pieces of long-dead Coveys.

“I still hope to be around for a few years, but even before that… you can borrow any of them. I hope I get the time to teach your sister the bass as well. I think you can figure out the mandolin with the book I gave your sister, but the tune-box might be a bit harder, if you want to learn that.”

Katniss considered that, walking to the mandolin, carefully plucking one of the strings, a tiny smile tugging at her lip.

“What piano did Lenore Dove play?”

“There was one at the Mayor’s house back then. They let her practice with it in exchange for a few private performances.”

She nodded along, she thought about asking Madge about it.

But, as she watched the instruments, each related to a Covey and went over the names and everything Clerk Carmine had said in her head, something clicked in her mind.

“Who was the sixth?”

Clerk Carmine frowned, “What?”

“You said that when you first got stuck in Twelve there were six Coveys,” she counted them off with her fingers, “You, Maude Ivory, Billy Taupe, Tam Amber, Barb Azure… but Lenore Dove wouldn’t have been born until much later. And- and you mentioned Maude Ivory took over as main singer but you never said who was the main singer before her… and someone must’ve played the guitar… so who’s missing?”

He looked away, slightly shaking his head, “I… it doesn’t… I can’t tell you.”

“What? What do you mean you can’t tell me?”

“It wouldn’t be safe.”

Katniss frowned, “Why?”

Clerk Carmine turned away, heading back to the kitchen, Katniss at his heels, “Who was the sixth?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Something tells me it does.”

“It’s not safe-”

“Why wouldn’t it be safe? You said it yourself this stays between us-” she hurried forwards, managing to get in front of him and facing him down, “Tell me!”

Clerk Carmine rolled his eyes, looking away for a moment before skirting around her to get back to the kitchen, going to serve himself more tea, Katniss watching intently.

“The eldest… she practically raised us if I’m being entirely honest.” He said slowly, his back to her, “She was our main singer and lyricist back then. The Hanging Tree, the Valley Song, Nothing You Can Take From Me, That Thing I Love With, I’ll Sell You For a Song, Pur- she wrote all of those… and she played the guitar.”

Katniss crossed her arms, approaching, “If she raised you why won’t you even say her name?”

“Because what happened-” he cut himself off for a moment, leaning his fists against the counter, shaking his head, “She vanished into thin air nearly sixty-five years ago… Barb Azure and Tam Amber thought she ran away into the woods, went looking for another life. Maude Ivory used to say maybe she turned into a bird to escape Twelve… I have my own theory on what happened… what happened… it’s dangerous to even theorize on it if I’m right.”

“Why?” Katniss demanded, going to stand next to him, trying to get him to look at him.

“Let’s just say it involves a dangerous person. I didn’t even put it together until a lot later on-” he closed his eyes, sighing heavily, “When Billy Taupe was killed… so was the current Mayor’s daughter… and the Mayor blamed her… that’s when things started getting bad for us… she probably meant to run to make things easier for us… but…” he shook his head, “She vanished. And I believe that whatever happened to her… talking about it can’t bring anything that isn’t trouble… the first song you sang in the Hob… the ballad with the lost name… that was one of her last songs… the story of her life…”

Katniss tensed up at that, “…what happened to her?”

Clerk Carmine looked more than done, turning to her, “Do you really want to know? It’s not a happy story, it’s not even a complete story.”

That seemed to be the theme today, “Yes.”

He hesitated, but he could probably see that she wouldn’t let up, “I… I will tell you someday… not today. Today… today has been enough… but know that I will only tell you what I know for sure, not what I have thought might’ve happened over the years. Understood?”

Katniss nodded along.

She finished her tea in two gulps and went to leave, able to tell she was about to get on the old man’s last nerve, she hesitated before gently asking if she could take the tune box to test out the waters, Clerk Carmine wordlessly agreeing.

Katniss stopped at the door, one foot on the front porch, turning to face him, “It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me the full story for now but… can’t you at least tell me her name?”

Clerk Carmine watched her for a long moment, and then, he opened his mouth and sang in an old raspy voice, clearly out of practice.

‘Yet some maintain that to this day… she is a living child…’

He watched her, a test, he wouldn’t tell her but if she knew the ballad then he didn’t need to.

Katniss continued.

‘That you may see… sweet Lucy Gray… upon the lonesome wild.’

Lucy Gray. 

Both names taken from the same ballad.

“Take care kid.” He told her as he went to shut the door.

Katniss slowly turned away, looking down at the tune box.

Why had she chosen to take that instead of the mandolin?

She shrugged it off, maybe she just wanted a challenge, she went to get back home.

***

As the sun started going down, Katniss sat in her bed, notebook open against her legs, where she’d written down the names of the Covey and their instruments, meditating on what to do next.

She might talk to Haymitch, but at the moment, she didn’t see much of a point to it.

She glanced at the foot of her bed, where the tune box rested.

She’d found a few basic chords amongst the pages of the old book Clerk Carmine had given Prim, there were other more complex chords meant for a piano.

It’d taken her several tries to at least start somewhat being able to play the few chords she had, she suspected a piano might’ve been the tiniest bit easier… maybe.

But after some failed attempts, she’d finally managed a few noises she liked, so she’d keep trying it out.

As she looked at her notebook, trying to think what else to write down, doodling a flower or two at the margins, bangs came from the door.

Harsh, desperate knocking that could only mean one thing.

Her mom was getting a patient.

Katniss quietly sighed, Prim instantly hopping up from the bed after setting down her fiddle and running to the kitchen, where their mom had been washing their few dishes.

She’d just stay in her room, if there was too much screaming or if there was a scent of blood or- anything else that got to be too much, she could always go for a walk to the Meadow.

She hated being home when her mom and Prim had patients, for all the blood she saw as a hunter, it was different seeing it on people, but what was truly unbearable was the desperation and misery in the eyes of whoever came with the patient.

But right as Katniss went to shut the door to their room closed, she heard the front door swing open and her mom gasp.

“Peeta what happened?!”

She didn’t even remember moving, all she knew was that she all but appeared at the front door, heart in her throat, a chocked gasp escaping her.

Peeta stood at the front door, flanked and held by his brothers, the entirety of his right arm was burned at the back, part of it reaching his shoulder, a tiny burn or two at his jawline and the tip of his ear.

The back of his hand and fingers hadn’t escaped the damage.

All she could think about was the watercolor picture of Buttercup Prim had carefully placed against a lamp in her nightstand. The berries she’d collected for his paintings, the delicate lines and swirls he’d made to create depictions of herbs in her dad’s old book. The charcoal drawing he’d let her keep that day in the Meadow.

His jaw was clenched and his eyes were on the floor as he breathed harshly, shaking, his brothers had fury and worry flooding their eyes. It was clear they’d dragged him here, the cloth Bannock held made her believe they’d hovered the cloth over the injury while making their way to the Seam, only pulling it away to show her mom the extent of the damage.

Her mom didn’t wait for an answer to her question as she stepped back and ushered the boys inside, Prim gently grabbing the back of Katniss’s shirt to drag her back so they could make it to the kitchen.

“We- we weren’t sure what to do-” Graham started, clearly nervous as he guided Peeta to the chair her mom offered, not taking his hand off Peeta’s uninjured shoulder, “We’re familiar with burns but- this is different- Bannock was gonna use some water but I wasn’t sure-”

“You did the right thing bringing him here.” Her mom tried to comfort him, already going to take out a basin of clean, boiled water now cooled down, she always had some ready just in case.

“The cloth you used to cover it, it didn’t touch the wound?” Prim questioned.

“No. We just had it to try to make sure nothing got in it.”

“Good.”

Katniss felt untethered, roaming at the edge of things, finding herself next to Bannock, who was watching, completely tense, quiet fury dancing in his eyes.

“I’m going to wash the wound, it’ll hurt. Can you tell me what happened?” Her mom asked gently, not asking any brother in particular as she carefully guided Peeta to place his arm over the basin, starting to pour water over the burn, Peeta hissing in pain, Graham squeezing his shoulder and going to sit next to him for support, leaning his forehead against Peeta’s temple, whispering comfort.

“I- I slipped-” Peeta said through a gasp of pain, “against the oven.”

Even without being an expert in injuries, and even if she hadn’t caught the glance Prim and her mom shared, Katniss knew instantly that was a lie.

A slip wouldn’t cause such a big burn, at least she didn’t think so. It almost looked like-

Like he’d been shoved.

Against the oven.

Her mom didn’t pry for the truth though, instead frowning as she inspected the part of the burn where Peeta’s shirt had half melted into his skin.

“I’m going to have to cut this off, I’ll see if some of it gets loose with the water.” Her mom told him gently, Prim already holding scissors.

Katniss was unsure what to do, a part of her wanted to step forward, try to help even if she didn’t know what to do or just be at his side, but when he slightly hunched into himself, glancing back, Bannock suddenly grabbed her arm and guided her out of the kitchen, all but dragging her to the back porch.

“What are you doing? Let go of me!” Katniss demanded after getting over her surprise, Bannock shutting the door behind him, she knew she wouldn’t be able to move him to get back in, “Move!”

“He doesn’t need you inside right now Katniss.”

“What?! What are you talking about?”

Bannock sighed, looking away for a moment, “He’s embarrassed Katniss, and right now, he’s also vulnerable and- he doesn’t want you to see him like that, I’m sure of it.”

“Why not?” Didn’t he trust her? Didn’t he know she wouldn’t care?

Bannock winced, “You know why kid. It’s embarrassing-”

“He’s hurt- what is embarrassing about that?!”

“Weren’t you the one who wanted no help when you twisted your ankle?”

Katniss rolled her eyes, annoyed at his logic, “That was different! And you’re like- less than five years older than me don’t call me kid.”

Bannock just shook his head, “Look… just- stay here until they bandage him up alright? Or- until they do whatever they need to do. He- he’ll need you after. But right now… he’ll just feel humiliated if you’re there.”

She crossed her arms, but quietly nodded along.

But right as he went to turn around-

“What really happened? And don’t bullshit me.”

Bannock sighed heavily, “It’s not my place to tell you.”

“It was her, wasn’t it?”

She didn’t need to specify who she was talking about.

Bannock balked at that, fully turning back to her, frowning, “He told you about her?”

“…he didn’t need to.” But he’d just confirmed her suspicion.

Bannock let go of the door knob, stepping up to her, looking almost pained, “Look Katniss… don’t ask him about her. Alright? It just- just don’t. Please. Let me handle that part.”

Katniss shifted, uncomfortable under his intense gaze, at least she knew he cared, “Your dad?”

“…he didn’t do anything… he never does anything.”

She cursed under her breath, cursing the baker for apparently not being willing to stand up to his wife even to defend his sons.

“And you’re planning on taking him back home tonight? After- whatever happened?”

Bannock watched her for a moment, eyebrows slightly scrunching up, “I was thinking about asking Delly if he could spend the night at her place. Or maybe we’ll crash on the floor of the bakery to keep some distance.” He said it like both had happened before.

Katniss thought about telling Bannock Peeta could stay there, but they didn’t really have a place he could sleep, at least not comfortably. And something told her he’d refuse to just let her sleep on the floor so he could take a bed.

Besides, Delly wasn’t too far.

Katniss sat down on the porch steps, leaning her cheek against her knees as she waited.

She wasn’t quite sure just how much time passed before the door opened and she turned to see Peeta. He slowly stepped down and went to sit down next to her slowly, sighing heavily, not turning to look at her.

He wore a jacket, buttoned up, she thought it was the one Graham had been wearing, on the side opposite to her, she could just see the ends of the bandages peeking out of the sleeve.

“…how are you feeling?”

“…good. Your mom is really good at what she does.” He said in a quiet tone, with a heaviness she would’ve never associated with him.

She hated seeing him like this, with a weight on his shoulders, clearly trying to hide.

“Tell me something.” He said, almost pleading.

“Like what?”

“Anything.”

Katniss considered for a moment, looking down at her hands, “I found out quite a bit about my family today. I already knew that my dad’s family were performers, and I’d found out that they were called ‘Covey’ that they used to travel around playing before they got stuck in Twelve. Today I found out some more stuff.”

“…how?”

“You know the old man with the fiddle?”

“The one teaching Prim?”

“Yeah… he’s the last Covey left… at least of the original ones.”

“…huh. He’s related to you?”

“Not by blood. Not all the Coveys were related… but I guess he’s family now. He said Coveys used to take care of their own, no matter what. Apparently I just… kinda stumbled into a bunch of their traditions by accident. I just wanted to get Prim a new coat.”

Peeta snorted weakly at that, “So the dresses… they were from the Coveys?”

“Yes. The old fiddler… he still has most of their instruments, said we could borrow them anytime we like.”

“I’m glad… you’re getting to learn more about your history. Makes sense to me you’d have an interesting family history. I-” Peeta sucked in a breath suddenly, she could tell he was trying to keep it together.

She let her impulses guide her and take over, scooting closer and taking his uninjured hand, wrapping both of hers around it and leaning her head against his shoulder, sides pressed together.

She thought some of the tension might’ve gotten a bit better, he leaned against her, “It’s curious… how you just… stumbled right into your heritage… makes sense why it seems to come naturally to you.”

“I don’t know that it comes ‘naturally’ especially the performance part.” Katniss said quietly, gently running her thumb over his knuckles, “But it does feel right. Like… maybe something I’d been missing… I think my dad might’ve told me about it all eventually if he’d lived.”

“I’m sure he would’ve. The old man, is there… did he tell you… about any tradition you liked?”

Katniss considered that, trying not to focus too much on the warmth emanating from him. She’d scooted closer to comfort him, but she hadn’t expected to feel so… at peace with the contact… to feel herself calming down, relaxing.

“The names… the Coveys had a certain method for naming their kids… they all had two names, the first came from a ballad, the second from a color… the fiddler is Clerk Carmine, my grandmother was Barb Azure. Then there were also Maude Ivory, Tam Amber, Billy Taupe and Lenore Dove.”

“…those are pretty.” She could hear the question he didn’t dare ask.

“Apparently Barb Azure thought it’d be safer if my dad didn’t have a Covey name… something about the Coveys never really being seen as part of Twelve, being targeted because of it.”

“Mmm, that’s a shame. Would you have liked to have a name like that?”

She shrugged, “I think Katniss suits me… but maybe it would’ve been nice. I don’t know.”

“You know… there’s this… incredibly mediocre Capitol show that- my mother sometimes puts on-” he looked down at the mention of his mother, hurrying to continue, “But the point is- there’s some character that uses what he calls a ‘stage name’. Basically a different name for when he’s on stage… maybe you could have something like that, a Covey name for your performances.”

Katniss snorted, “Don’t you think that’d be a bit pretentious?”

“Not really. Everyone has quite a bit of respect for your performances, I don’t think they’d find it all that weird. And they may not know it but you know you’re just trying to have a small piece of your legacy back.”

Katniss quietly considered that.

She thought back to how Clerk Carmine had acted, how he’d seemed almost afraid to tell her certain pieces of their history. His insistence that some of it was dangerous.

She doubted there was anyone actively watching District Twelve, waiting to see if the Coveys dared to emerge from the ashes.

It might not be the smartest move to simply start using a Covey name on stage… at least not without asking Clerk Carmine more about this supposed danger and what he thought about the idea.

But maybe… even if she didn’t use it on stage… maybe she could just have it for herself.

She said as much to Peeta, minus the whole danger bit, since she still wasn’t sure what to even make of that part, at least not yet.

Maybe she should stalk Haymitch down again, question him. Though she doubted he’d react very well when her most concrete bit of information was the apparently suspicious death of Lenore Dove.

“Do you any names from ballads?” Peeta asked as he moved his hand, going to interlace their fingers, “Could be Clementine.”

Katniss scrunched up her nose, “Clementine doesn’t really feel like me…” something popped into her head, “There is one I know… though it’s not exactly a name in the song itself.”

“What is it?”

Katniss took a deep breath, leaning further against his shoulder to not see his reaction as she carefully sang out a single line.

‘Deep in the meadow… under the Willow.’

She felt more than she saw Peeta’s soft smile, “Willow?”

“Mmm. Still a plant technically too.” 

Peeta hummed his approval, “What about your color? Azure is a shade of blue. But the other women you mentioned, Ivory and Dove are both shades of off-white.”

Gray was also an off-white.

Katniss pressed her lips together for a moment, “You’re the artist. What are other off-white shades?”

“Well there’s Isabelline, Magnolia, Vanilla, white heron, merino, Acadia…”

Katniss scrunched up her nose, shaking her head, “They’re pretty…”

“But you’re not convinced, okay, mmm… Alice is technically a blue but is sometimes considered an off-white as well. There’s spring white.”

“Spring is white?” Katniss questioned, half surprised.

“There’s a green spring and a white spring.” He explained away easily, “Umm… daisy can be classified as an off-white as well.”

“What else you got?”

“Wisp?”

“…could be.”

“…I got two I think you’d like.”

She shifted from her place against him, just enough to be able to meet his eyes, but not letting go of his hand.

He smiled softly, “Pearl... and Swan.”

Katniss felt a kind of warmth spread through her at that.

Willow Pearl.

Willow Swan.

Either could work really.

But…

“Willow Swan…” she half smiled, shaking her head, scrunching her eyebrows up as she looked at him, inspecting him, “How do you do that?” She asked quietly.

“Do what?”

She half-shrugged, unsure of how to explain the fact that… he seemed to understand and know what she needed to hear.

Peeta seemed to almost wince, looking down, his hold on her hand loosening, “Sorry.”

She quickly tightened her hold on him, scooting even closer, “No I- I wasn’t complaining. The opposite… I meant… you always seem to know what to say.”

Peeta nodded along, but didn’t seem to fully believe her.

Katniss dared to use the hand that wasn’t interlocked with Peeta’s to gently reach up, fingertips softly guiding his chin to get him to look at her.

How could she explain? How could she put it into words, that Peeta breathed a gentleness into the world with every effortless action.

He was kind and good-hearted but not weak, if anything he’d taught her that there was strength in softness.

She couldn’t understand how he could’ve remained so kind with the mother he’d grown up with… but somehow he had, that only made her respect him more.

She herself had grown up surrounded by soft love, and yet- she’d become fire at some point.

But Peeta was… was…

“You’re sunshine Peeta Mellark… don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.” A second passed, his eyes flooding with vulnerability, perhaps a quiet desperation to hear those words or something similar to them, to be seen.

She dared to reach up, pressing a kiss against his cheek before quickly returning to her previous spot, head against his shoulder, Peeta pulling her closer.

She wasn’t sure how much time they spent like that, the door eventually opening and Prim slowly sitting down at Peeta’s other side, gently asking him how his injury was before asking what they’d been talking about.

“I was helping your sister come up with a Covey name.” He told her.

Prim perked up, “A Covey name?”

“To maybe- maybe, use at our performances.” Katniss explained.

“…could I have one too?”

“If you want.” She just had to make sure they were safe to use out loud, not just in their heads and back porch.

Prim smiled bright, “Could I be Clementine?”

“Of course, I think you’d really pull that name off.” Peeta encouraged, Katniss could tell he still wasn’t as cheered up as he acted, but she was quietly grateful at the tone he took with Prim, “It has a… certain dignity very few could take on.”

Prim laughed, “And my color? Ummm… maybe a shade of red?”

“Why red?” Katniss asked.

She shrugged, “Carmine is a shade of red, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Peeta confirmed, humming as he thought, “Let me think, shades of red… there’s cherry, rose, jam, crimson, ruby, apple, berry, blush, poppy, vermillion, cardinal, amaranth…” he trailed off, turning to Prim to gauge her reaction.

“…mmm… Cardinal is kinda pretty, so is ruby… what are pretty name colors? Any shade.”

“Well I like coral, teal, iris and mauve.”

Prim tilted her head, “Mauve?” 

“It’s a shade of purple, if I’m not mistaken it was named after a flower, mallow, I think.”

Prim slowly smiled, “Clementine Mauve… I still get a flower technically… what do you think Katniss?”

Katniss grinned her way, “I like it. It suits you.”

After Prim had checked Peeta’s wound, Katniss keeping her eyes on the ground to give him some sense of privacy, the brothers stepped out, Katniss finally standing up to give them a moment alone, all but having to pry herself away, catching only a few words of reassurance and support as she went back to the kitchen.

Her mom watched her, the way she started pacing the moment Peeta was fully out of sight, “How bad?” She asked in a whisper as she tried to not bite at her nails.

Her mom sighed, “He’ll be alright. Most of it were second degree burns, the spots at his ear and jaw were first degree. He’ll have to come back to get his bandages changed and some treatment the first three days at the very least but… it should heal in two to three weeks.”

Katniss continued her pacing, “You have all the herbs or- whatever it is you’ll need?”

“Yes. And I already gave Graham and Bannock some pain relief medicine and instructions on what to do to help.”

She went to step in front of Katniss, gently hands landing on her arms to stop her pacing.

Katniss held her gaze for all of three seconds before breaking, “It’s not fair.” She managed to get out through the anger festering in the pit of her stomach.

Her mom shook her head sadly, “No. It’s not.”

“He doesn’t- he- he- he’s probably one of the best people in Twelve mom.” She got out breathless.

“I know.”

“He shouldn’t have to deal with this shit!”

“I know.”

“I- he didn’t say anything about it.” It bothered her a bit, the words escaping her.

Her mom sighed heavily, “It’s hard to talk about these kinds of things… he might be ashamed, or embarrassed. Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to talk about it.”

Katniss let herself fall forward, into her mom’s ready arms, taking a moment to take in her mother’s hold before pulling back, hesitating before speaking, “What do I do?”

“…don’t push him to talk about it… all you can do right now is… be there.”

She nodded along, sighing, “Alright.”

It wasn’t too long after that that the Mellark brothers went to leave, Katniss taking a moment to grab Graham’s arm and making it very clear she expected them to drag Peeta back if anything seemed wrong, Graham half teasing her for worrying but reassuring her they’d take care of him.

She could tell he meant that last part so she let him go.

She watched as they walked away.

That night she wrote, unsure of where her words were going, letting them spill out on the page for no real reason, with no real rhyme or order.

But she just needed to get some stuff out.

Maybe more than she’d realized.

A part of her felt haunted by her new knowledge of the Coveys, the fact her grandmother had apparently thought them cursed.

How now she and Prim might be all that was left and they hadn’t even known that.

How apparently at least two of them had stories that would never fully be complete, tragic deaths or disappearances that seemingly matched the ballads and poems they’d been named after.

She all but dreamed in shades of Gray, Ivory and Dove, wondering who had written which songs, she thought she could figure out which ones were the truly old ones, passed down generation by generation and which might’ve been newer.

She found herself thinking about old songs that were written from the perspectives of ghosts and phantoms and people doomed from birth. She found her pen moving across the page, trying to figure out what the Coveys might think of her stumbling upon the heritage that had nearly been lost, that had been partially let go off when Barb Azure had tried to keep her son safe by not giving him a Covey name.

She wondered if their ghosts were screaming at her to run away, she wondered if they called her into the woods, wherever it was that Lucy Gray had gone to never be heard from again.

If they believed like Barb Azure that Coveys were still cursed to die young.

If they used the mockingjays to try to call her to her grave.

She wrote and wrote into the night, unsure if she was trying to either escape or summon something.

Katniss just knew she needed to get it out and down. She wondered if any of the other Covey’s had ever felt nearly possessed when writing.

When she’d finished, lines scratched and written over, arrows pointing to where paragraphs should be, a strange song passed to another page in neat, she found her pen hovering at the top of the page, below the tentative song title.

After some hesitation, Katniss let the pen glide, writing three simple words that somehow carried more weight to them than the entire song did.

By Willow Swan.

Chapter Text

Madge hit another piano key, letting the note drag as Katniss let her voice rise to match the note.

Madge laughed, letting the key go, “How are you doing that?”

Katniss laughed as well, going to sit down next to her on the small bench, “Clerk Carmine gave me these old vocal exercises. Apparently he himself was never much of a singer but he kinda walked me through everything other Covey singers would do to make their voices stronger and fuller and healthy.” She shrugged, “I’ve been practicing.”

Madge sighed wistfully, “Well you sound lovely. And I repeat, you can practice on our piano anytime you’d like… even if it’s missing a few notes.” She finished as she hit a few keys that made no sound.

“I don’t know… I appreciate the offer but now thinking about it… right now we’re alone so I don’t really care if you hear me but…”

“You don’t really feel like practicing when other people can hear you?”

“Not really. But I mean- I think I’ll just swallow my pride, where else am I going to find a piano?”

Madge pursed her lips at that, “Well… I know of one more piano in Twelve.”

Katniss fully turned to her, “Where?”

She took a moment before answering, “My mom mentioned Haymitch had one delivered from the Capitol like… ages ago. Like- not too long after he won his games.”

She groaned as she rolled her eyes.

Of course.

A tiny part of her wondered if maybe Haymitch had gotten the piano for Lenore Dove, or at least for her ghost.

Madge winced in sympathy, scrunching up her nose, “Yeah, I figured that’d be your reaction.”

Katniss let herself lean forward, forehead meeting the keyboards with a pitiful sound.

Madge snorted.

***

After a few Hob performances, the last few of which had become weekly events, Katniss had started to recognize a certain pattern in her basket.

There were constants, stray coins from plenty of people, pretty rocks and loose buttons from Seam kids, squares of fabric and thread from the Seam adults, some type of candy or small jar of jelly from the merchants and their kids. And curiously enough, every time she was given at least one small bottle of liquor by one of the off-duty Peacekeepers that she always traded for something more useful. 

And of course, her favorite constant, not that she would ever admit to it if asked, Peeta’s cheese buns, which he brought to nearly every performance and which she would usually eat on the way home.

Performing took a toll okay?

Then there were occasional nice surprises like a tiny vial of perfume, bird feathers, candles, salted meat or jerky, a strip of leather, a small tin of creamy rouge.

Her mom’s favorite had been a napkin filled with just enough ground coffee to make two cups of coffee. Prim’s had been an old butterfly carefully carved out of wood and painted in faded blues and greens.

Since Prim had only just had her first performance, she still hadn’t seen properly how her presence would change their payments, but she suspected they might get more candy and small pretty things.

The last three shows, she’d actually kept the small bottles of Capitol liquor from the Peacekeepers instead of trading, strolling down to Victor’s Village not too long after her chat with Madge.

She glanced to Peeta, who’d asked to come along when she’d mentioned the piano thing to him, “You didn’t have to come along you know?”

He half shrugged, he was wearing yet another jacket, the bandages over his hand peeking out.

“I have to make the delivery anyways.” As it turned out, once every two weeks, Peeta or Graham made the journey to Victor’s Village to leave a bag of bread at the front door, never bothering to knock since there was never any response, he held said bag with his non-injured hand, along with the bag carrying the bottles of liquor even if she’d insisted she could carry those herself, `“Besides… I wanted to.” He turned to her, eyes becoming vulnerable for a split second before he cleared his throat and continued almost nonchalantly, “And even besides that, I’ve always been a bit curious about Haymitch.”

Katniss sighed, “I never gave him much thought to be honest… but…” she hesitated.

“But…” Peeta turned to her, eyes gently encouraging her to continue.

“Clerk Carmine told me that apparently Haymitch knew one of the Covey girls, the youngest one, Lenore Dove… well… not just knew… seems like she was his love… at least until she died.”

Peeta’s eyes widened almost comically, “Haymitch dated your… aunt? Cousin?”

“Let’s leave it at aunt. But yeah. And… my mom said he and my dad were close… best friends… at least until after his Games, something about- my dad and my mom tried to keep an eye on him when he was pushing everyone away, but then Haymitch did… something my dad couldn’t forgive and they never spoke again.”

Peeta took in the information, “Must be weird… finding out he was close to your family way back when… it’s weird to think he was ever different, that he had best friends or a love… I don’t know why I never even considered that.”

Katniss shrugged, “We’ve all got more important stuff to think about than the local drunk.”

Peeta didn’t seem very convinced by that, “ How do you…” he hesitated as he slowed down, “How do you think he won his Games?”

Katniss fully stopped at that.

She’d never thought about how Haymitch had won.

From what he’d seen of him and the few clips of his Games she’d gotten glimpses of over the recaps and ‘highlights’ played every year, she knew he hadn’t been the strongest or most agile by any means.

“…maybe he outsmarted everyone else… or maybe he just got lucky.”

Peeta snorted humorlessly as they went back to making their way towards Haymitch’s home, “I don’t think you can really say any tribute- or victor is ever lucky.”

“You have a point there.” 

They reached Haymitch’s house, Katniss not bothering to try the door and guiding Peeta towards the window through which she’d slipped in the last time.

“You think this is a good idea?” Peeta questioned, even as he followed her with little to no hesitation through the window, “I mean, aren’t we breaking and entering?”

Katniss waved him off after taking the bags for a moment to make sure he didn’t accidentally put too much pressure on his injured arm, Peeta taking them back as soon as he’d made it through the window, “It’ll be fine. Haymitch might just pass out and forget about anything we say anyway.”

Peeta shook his head with a quiet smile but didn’t try to persuade her as they went through some of the halls, Peeta looking in awe at the intricate woodwork and carvings in the doors and frames and walls, all of which Katniss had ignored due to the filth surrounding them.

They reached the living room, where they found Haymitch asleep on the couch, actively snoring.

Peeta winced, “Umm… any plan here?” He whispered under his breath, leaning towards her, Katniss slightly tensing up at the feeling of his breath hitting her ear.

“Hold up.” She walked next door to the kitchen, picking up a cup of water and walking to the couch, watching Haymitchfor a moment before unceremoniously dumping the water on him.

Much like last time, Haymitch awoke with a scream, wielding the knife he’d been hiding under his pillow, even though she’d taken a few steps back Peeta surged forward, going to pull her behind him even as Haymitch was already calming down when realizing there was no real threat.

Peeta slowly turned to her, “Katniss, darling, sweetheart, here’s a thought, how about we don’t wake the traumatized old man up by throwing a mug with water at him?”

“Who are you calling old man boy?!” Haymitch questioned as he wiped some of the water away, going to glare at them before his gaze settled on Katniss, “Ugh, it’s you.”

Katniss gently reached up, pulling down the arm Peeta had thrown in front of her to step forward and fully confront Haymitch, who just scowled, “You got something against knocking the door like a normal person?”

“We both know you wouldn’t have answered.”

Haymitch scoffed, taking a moment to look at Peeta, looking at him up and down with a scowl, “What’s with the blonde?”

Peeta just placed the bag with bread on the coffee table, “Bakery delivery.”

Haymitch glanced between the two twice before snorting, “Ah, I see. How’d the brunette take it?”

Katniss felt herself blush, hurrying to continue, “I heard you have a piano.”

Haymitch froze at that, smile falling, a grimace taking its place, “Where’d you hear that?”

“Does it matter? Do you have one?”

He let himself fall on the couch, leaning back, “What do you care?”

Katniss rolled her eyes, placing her bag with the bottles on the table, “I want to learn to play.”

Haymitch almost winced, “And you think you can just… fumble or stubborn your way into learning?”

“I have music sheets and… journals. I’ll stay out of your hair, and you can have the bottles I get at my Hob shows.”

“No.”

Katniss tried to stare him down, meeting his unrelenting gaze and not looking away, “It was Lenore Dove’s instrument right? Did you get it because of her?”

Haymitch all but snarled, “How do you know that?”

“I spoke to Clerk Carmine. He told me about her… about… what happened.”

He chuckled humorlessly, going to stand up, “Mmm… did he tell you I killed her?”

Katniss tensed up, feeling Peeta freeze behind her, “What?”

Haymitch looked almost mocking as he tilted his head, “Did he tell you what happened to her?”

“He said- he said she died… when she was in the Meadow with you… he’s not sure what happened but… he knows it wasn’t natural.” Katniss said cautiously, feeling Peeta’s eyes at her back since she hadn’t quite mentioned that part to him.

“Gumdrops… deadly gumdrops…” Haymitch muttered under his breath, taking slow heavy steps to start making his way around the table, “I fed them to her… didn’t realize… and then… she was choking… and then she died… because of me… Clerk Carmine tell you that?” He hissed out, aggression behind his eyes.

Katniss still didn’t back down, “He said she played the piano… that she wrote songs… that what she wrote she couldn’t sing in public for being too… dangerous. He said he’d never forget the look on your face after she died… that you were just sixteen-”

“So the old man pities me now?” Haymitch spit out, gesturing wildly, “He wouldn’t even tell me where they buried her-” he shook his head, pointing at the door, “Get out.”

“…just let me use the piano. I won’t bother you-”

“Are you deaf?!” He went to lean in, Peeta taking a miniscule step closer, but not passing Katniss’s arm when she raised it to keep him from interfering, ready to jump in but letting her handle it for now, “I don’t owe you shit girl. Get out!”

Katniss watched him, in any other circumstances she would be leaving… but there was one thing nagging at the back of her mind, pushing her to give him one last chance, to push one more time.

“My mom…” she hesitated, looking away for a moment, “My mom told me you used to be a different person… that you used to be friends with my dad… good friends…” Haymitch drew back, jaw clenched and she sighed heavily, “Just let me use the piano.”

For a split second she thought he might drop what she was now realizing was a strategy to drive her out. 

Almost like one of Gale’s traps, trying to push her buttons, figure out what would make her flee. 

Then he chuckled cruelly and she knew she was wrong, “Is that what your mommy told you? Did she tell you why we stopped being friends?” He bared his teeth for a moment, getting in her face, she refused to flinch, “You see those two… they wouldn’t stop coming here, uninvited and refusing to leave when I told them to… so one day I had the brilliant idea of throwing a rock straight at you mom’s head.” She tensed up, “It was a nasty cut, blood dripping all down her pretty little face… that your dad couldn’t forgive… and I finally had some peace and quiet.” He finished with gritted teeth, slowly pointing at the door, “Get… out… sweetheart.” 

This time, Katniss started pulling away, fully intending to stomp away, enraged by the mocking and the cruelty in his tone…

But Peeta didn’t move to follow her lead.

Instead he just tilted his head, “What was she like?”

She and Haymitch both froze, Haymitch slowly turning to Peeta, like he’d completely forgotten he was there until he’d spoken, “…what?”

“Lenore Dove… what was she like?”

Haymitch scowled, fury flashing behind his eyes and Katniss was cursing herself, ready to pull Peeta back if the drunk went to take a swing and-

“She wrote dangerous songs… that’s what she said right?” Peeta continued, almost nonchalantly, meeting Haymitch’s unrelenting gaze, “Must’ve been quite something if she could never perform them in public… did you ever get to hear them?”

Katniss suspected Peeta had completely stumped Haymitch, based on the way the man’s arm slowly fell to his side, maybe he was still a bit drunk, or maybe he simple hadn’t expected at all to be asked something like that.

“…sometimes.”

“What were her songs like? Hopeful? Sad?”

“…truthful… and angry.” Haymitch said after a long moment.

Peeta hummed, thoughtful, like this was a completely normal conversation, like he had nothing but genuine interest.

What was he playing at? What was he doing?

If she hadn’t known better she would’ve thought he was getting ready to bait the old drunk.

“Sounds to me like she must’ve been a rebel… was she?”

Haymitch slowly nodded, “You could say that.” His voice was softer, Katniss wondered how long it’d been since someone had simply… asked about Lenore Dove. Sure she’d asked but more along the lines of what had happened to her, how she’d died… not how she’d lived.

“So rebellious… an artist obviously… smart if she wrote and played the piano. She must’ve been stubborn too if she was related to this one.” Peeta almost joked, jerking his head in her direction.

The faintest light entered Haymitch’s eyes, “She was.”

Then, right as Katniss was wondering if Peeta really did know the right thing to say all the time, he broke the spell that had fallen in the room.

“Doesn’t sound to me like the kinda person that would’ve liked you let the Capitol win.”

Haymitch jerked back, eyes widening with disbelief and surprise, “What?”

Peeta just shrugged, “That’s what you’re doing isn’t it? You’ve just… let yourself become one more piece of their games.”

He snarled, rage entering him again, Katniss tensing up, going to grab Peeta’s sleeve, “You have no idea-”

“But that’s what you’re choosing to do right now.” Peeta cut him off, stepping closer, getting in his face even as Katniss tried to tell him off, “Sitting in this house, rotting away and drowning in your sorrows to forget… and more than willing to let history erase Lenore Dove.”

Haymitch faltered at that, going to push Peeta, who stepped back and continued.

“Katniss is trying to keep some part of her legacy alive… that’s what she’s doing.” He let his voice rise up, not quite screaming but making it impossible to ignore him, “From where I stand it very much seems like history and the Capitol would love to erase any legacy any of us have… let the Covey be forgotten… and you don’t seem to have a problem letting that happen. You’re letting them win… just a piece in their games waiting for death… is that all you’re going to be?” He questioned, unyielding.

“A piece in their games?! A piece-” Haymitch sucked in a breath, “Do you have any idea what the price is for standing against them?”

“I don’t.” Peeta answered honestly, “…but I think we’re all quite familiar with the price we pay everyday for not being able to do anything against them.”

Haymitch froze again at that.

Peeta sighed, “Just let her use the piano. It was always meant to be for a Covey girl after all… wasn’t it?”

Haymitch slowly shifted his gaze to Katniss, inspecting her for a moment before looking at Peeta, scowling as he pointed at the door, “…get… out.”

Peeta sighed heavily but stepped back, Katniss going to snatch up the bag of alcohol, daring Haymitch to say something with her eyes as she quickly took his hand and hurried to get out of the house.

Once in the streets, they all but ran all the way to the gate that marked the end of the Victor’s Village.

Katniss slowly turned to him, “…did you just have that ready to go?”

He shrugged, “Inspiration struck… sorry it didn’t get us anywhere?”

This time she shrugged, “I didn’t have very much hope anyway to be honest…” she glanced down at where their hands were still joined, warmth seeping from him and into her arm, “…what did you mean? A piece in their games? I mean- aren’t we all already just pieces in their games?”

Peeta watched her for a moment, sighing, “I think… I think you only become one when you give up… when you let them pit you against everyone else… or take your hope… or…” he glanced back at the houses, “Or when you let what they took from you consume you…” he sighed, looking down, “It may sound dumb but… I feel like if you hold on to your hope or… to your kindness for a lack of a better word… then you have something they can’t take no matter how much they try…” he half grinned to himself for a moment, “Because hope and kindness are worth keeping.”

Katniss snorted at the small reference to one of her songs, ‘nothing you could take from me, was ever worth keeping.’

She sighed, “…I don’t think it’s dumb… I mean… I’m not sure I totally get it but… it’s not dumb.”

He gave her a slow genuine smile, gently squeezing her hand, “Come on.” 

They started making their way back to town, and she didn’t let go of his hand until they reached the first few buildings.

She thought about what he’d said.

She’d shown Clerk Carmine her song, he’d helped her pull together the chords and had suggested incorporating a drum rhythm. When they’d finished composing the song, she had told him gently and embarrassed about the names she and Prim had taken for themselves.

He had been hesitant on what to tell her about actually using them. Saying it could be dangerous to use them in public, but also clearly being thrilled at the thought of them having Covey names.

She thought about the fact that, Peeta was right… she was trying to keep a legacy alive.

A legacy filled with beauty and color and meaning.

And part of that legacy was… well… performances, names… names that promised melodies and music and that made people perk up, that were a sign… that had history and a legacy just by themselves through the ballads and poems they’d been drawn from.

Katniss turned to inspect Peeta as they walked, he’d walk her home since this was his last day with the bandages and her mom and Prim had to check that the wounds were ready to be exposed and that the blisters hadn’t popped.

His eyelashes seemed to glow in the sunshine, freckles dotting his cheekbones, almost invisible since they were so pale… she wanted to count them sometimes.

She wondered how long he’d held his beliefs, if it was because of them that he’d given her the bread that fateful night, the night she’d lost pretty much any and all hope she’d had left in her heart…

Until they’d started talking.

Until she’d taken to the stage and let herself sing her heart out.

Until she’d bled ink on a page and had discovered something that had been buried within.

He turned, catching her starring and just smiling.

She looked down, trying to contain a smile to herself.

Katniss knew what she wanted to do.

It might be dangerous for whatever reason… but she refused to play any role in erasing any other part of her legacy.

If there was a weight to the names, she wanted to carry them.

She wanted to be a Covey… through and through.

***

At her Hob performance, Katniss wore a pine green dress with off shoulder sleeves that flowed down to her wrists and a skirt that opened at her knees in front but went down to her ankles at the back, her boots in place, two waterfall braids holding the front pieces of her hair back, off-white ribbons Madge had lent her woven into the plaits… they were almost a swan shade.

Prim wore a pale purple dress, flowers embroidered at the edge of the skirt with thread a darker purple. The yellow ribbon that’d decorated the box of cookies that Peeta had delivered for her birthday used as a belt, all her hair picked up in one of her elaborate hairdos.

She was practically bouncing in place, excited, “Are we really doing this?” She asked.

Katniss just smiled, “I talked to Clerk Carmine and… he still says we should be cautious, only use the names on stage but, we were already planning on doing that so… yeah. We’re doing it.”

Prim grinned.

Beyond their tarp, Thom tapped on the mic, “Now now settle down everyone! Now, please welcome to the stage, our songbird, Willow Swan!”

Katniss spun out, twirling and adding a skip to her step as applause received her, they’d used the names at one other performance the past week, a Seam wedding, so word had already spread about their ‘stage names’.

“And the new fiddler of Twelve, Clementine Mauve!” Prim skipped out from behind the tarp, not twirling but playing a quick melody and bowing to the applause.

Katniss nodded in thanks to Thom as she went to take the mic, “Good night! Alright now, let’s kick off the night shall we? This is, Nothing You Can Take From Me, and I want you all up and dancing, come on Twelve!”

Though it was just a name, under Willow Swan, Katniss felt almost influenced, almost possessed, finding it even easier to lose herself in the music, in every tone and note and word, giving it her all, letting her voice stretch and bend and be daring, strumming her guitar like she’d never get the chance to do so again.

She could tell that under Clementine Mauve, Prim lost the fear and shyness that came with her just barely starting to get the hang of the stage, even daring to take over most of the vocal parts for Oh My Darling, Clementine, clearly thrilled at the fact that, at this point, plenty of people joined in for the chorus, her singing still needed strength, but she made up for it with her passion and enthusiasm.

Katniss knew in an instant, it was her song now.

She gently signaled for her to also join in for Keep on the Sunny Side, she had a feeling that, once her singing voice gained more depth and experience, that would be one of her songs to perform, she knew she’d certainly perform it with more heart than Katniss could, even lost in the music certain lyrics would simply never strike a chord with her.

But singing the chorus with Prim, she gave it a certain flavor, a certain sincerity that had people swaying and singing along.

Striking the final note of the song, Katniss cleared her throat, wrapping a hand around the mic as Prim hurried to the tarp to grab something, swinging it over her shoulder, “Alright people, we have one last song for you all… this is a new one. There are quite a few songs written from the perspective of ghosts… of long lost people… I wrote this song with that in mind… this… is Kingdom Come, and I hope you like it.”

Katniss started strumming her guitar, swaying in place, letting her skirt swirl around her.

She began singing what she felt the Covey might be feeling from the old Therebefore, if they could see Willow Swan and Clementine Mauve take to the stage, if they could see the way every note and tone felt like a secret they’d accidentally uncovered but that had also always belonged to them… even if it meant danger.

Specifically she thought about Clerk Clementine, who’d inspired the very first part of the song thanks to the conflict in his gaze with every secret and story Katniss and Prim managed to pry out of him.

‘Run, run, run away.

Buy yourself another day.

A cold wind’s whispering secrets in your ear.

So low only you can hear, hmmm~’

Prim joined in, plucking at her fiddle but not using her bow as they entered a part of the song she’d written while thinking about Lucy Gray.

‘Run, run, run and hide.

Somewhere no one else can find.

Tall trees bend and lean, pointing where to go.

Where you will still be all alone, ohhh~’

And then, the first chorus, high and delicate.

‘Don’t you fret, my dear.

It’ll all be over soon.

I’ll be waiting here… 

For you~’

Katniss stomped her foot against the floorboards of the stage, strumming her guitar harder as Prim put aside the fiddle and began using the drum she’d slung across her hip, the drum that had once belonged to Maude Ivory, using it to accentuate Katniss’s words, resonating what she believed Lenore Dove might’ve said based on what little she knew of her.

‘Run fast as you can.

No one has to understand.

Fly high across the sky from here to Kingdom Come.

Fall back down to where you’re from, ooohhh~’

The drum felt like it fell into beat with her heart as she sang the chorus again, fuller and deeper this time.

‘Don’t you fret, my dear.

It’ll all be over soon.

And I’ll be waiting here… 

For you~’

She let herself move back from the mic as she fully let her voice ring out throughout the Hob, some of the mockingjays that had gone into the Hob for refuge from the rain a while back had taken to sneaking in during her performances, seeming to have figured out what days she was there, singing back to her when she let go.

‘For you~

For you~

For you~’

The drum fell back, Prim smiling big as she went to provide extra vocals for the bridge.

‘Don’t you fret, my dear (don’t you fret, my dear).

It’ll all be over soon (it’ll all be over soon).

And I’ll be waiting here (here)’

They went all out together, the drum coming back in.

‘Don’t you fret, my dear.

It’ll all be over soon.

I’ll be waiting here.

For you~’

She closed her eyes as her voice almost dropped to a whisper.

‘For you.

For you.

Run, run, run away.

Run, run, run away~’

She didn’t open her eyes at first, even at the applause, savoring the song still ringing out in her mind and lips, feeling in a way more connected to the Coveys than ever before.

Finally, she smiled as she opened her eyes, going to take a bow with Prim, “Thank you so much! You know the drill with the basket, and we’ll see you next week!”

Then she did a quick sweep of the crowd, unconsciously searching for Peeta’s reaction to the song- he wasn’t looking at her, she followed his gaze-

Haymitch was there, at the back, watching with an indecipherable expression.

Katniss didn’t let her smile fall until they’d made it behind the tarp.

“That was great!” Prim said, “Oh- I was nervous about Kingdom Come but, I think it really came together… you should write more.”

“Yeah maybe I should.” She said half distracted, clearing her throat, “You should fully take over Oh My Darling, Clementine next time.”

Prim perked up, “Really?”

“Really. Just practice it a bit and I’m sure you can more than handle it.”

Prim smiled bright.

The tarp opened and Katniss turned as she pleaded with the universe for it to be her mom or Peeta-

Haymitch stood there, scowl in face, flask in hand, approaching slowly.

He cast a single glance to Prim before his eyes settled on Katniss, “…you can use the piano in the late morning and the evenings… you go tomorrow I’ll show you where it is, after that you can come in through the window as you clearly prefer to do… don’t bother telling me when you come and go, you can go in without me having to see your bothersome being. Just leave before nightfall.”

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer, Katniss just nodded, “Alright.”

He turned away, making his way out of the Hob.

Prim smiled, tugging at her sleeve, “You’re learning the piano?”

Katniss sighed, “Seems like it.”

Just what had she gotten herself into?

Chapter Text

Katniss pulled her hunting jacket tighter around herself before going to fidget with her sleeves as she waited.

She still wasn’t sure if this was a mistake.

But it was a chance she just had to take.

A long three minutes after she’d knocked, the door opened to reveal Haymitch, looking ever so slightly less disheveled than usual.

She couldn’t tell if he was drunk or not.

He didn’t greet her, instead just jerking his head, “Come on.”

She followed him down a few halls and past plenty of doors, he reached one that seemed like all the others, pulling it open and stepping inside and to the side.

The room was mostly empty, two windows at the far wall, and a single large sheet covering the only real furniture in the room.

Haymitch took a shaky breath before stepping forward, pulling the white sheet away.

Beneath it, laid a beautiful piano, dark wood that had kept some of its polish despite the dust and time, a bench with a red cushion sitting beneath it, Haymitch carefully pulled back a cover to reveal the piano keys.

He cleared his throat as he dragged the bench back and flipped some hidden switch, revealing the bench opened, holding music sheets inside, “Those came with the piano, you can use them.” He tore his eyes away from the piano after a moment, not meeting her gaze as he went to leave the room, “Try not to torture my eardrums.”

Katniss just nodded as he passed her.

As soon as the door closed behind him, she allowed herself to smile as she hurried to get closer to the piano.

There were details carved into the wood, spirals and flowers at the sides.

She took the sheet that’d covered the piano and used it to wipe away the dirt that’d managed to get on the wood, grateful that the piano keys seemed unscathed thanks to the wooden cover that Haymitch had lifted.

She took out the music sheets from the bench, scanning them quickly before placing them to the side, just simple scales and, disgustingly enough, the notes to Gem of Panem.

She wondered how safe it’d be to burn that particular page.

Inside the bench, she also found a strange small device, a triangle square with a single long stick in the middle, after some fidgeting, she realized the stick would move side to side making a small ticking noise at different speeds.

A small pamphlet inside the bench told her it was a metronometer, used to work on regularity and control, helping keep accurate timing and tempo as a musician practiced or performed music.

She placed the wooden square on top of the piano, also finding a small piano tuning set that she didn’t have time to figure out how to use even with the manual next to it and a small music stand that joined the metronometer, placing the music sheets she wanted to start with in it before closing the bench and finally sitting down.

She carefully pressed down each individual key, delighted to see that they all worked and seemed to be in tune, which she guessed made sense if it’d never been used.

To start off, she simply followed the guide that had been tucked amongst the music sheets from the bench, seeing what tone each key made and figuring out from her Covey journal the basics of the keys.

After about an hour and a half of fidgeting and experimenting, she was slowly understanding how to produce basic notes and had half a simple scale down, eyes glued to the keys to make sure she was doing everything right.

She deemed an hour and a half was more than enough time spent in Haymitch’s house, so she packed up her music sheets and, after a moment of hesitation, took the metronometer, making her way out.

She found Haymitch just two halls away, sprawled out on the couch, she wondered if he ever slept in his actual bedroom.

He had his eyes closed, but seemed to hear her, or perhaps he simply assumed the piano stopping meant she was leaving, “You sound like a cat being stabbed sweetheart. Repeatedly.”

Katniss just rolled her eyes, willing herself to not take the bait, “Can I borrow this?”

Haymitch opened a single eye, glancing at the wooden square, “What is it?”

“Metronometer, it was in the bench. Helps with tempo and timing.”

He waved her off, “Sure.”

She placed the metronometer into her bag and approached just enough to place the two liquor bottles she’d brought on the table before going to leave, not another word exchanged between the two.

***

Katniss stopped mid song, snapping and reaching out to all but slam the metronometer down on the table to stop its incessant ticking.

Peeta raised his eyebrows as he looked up from the painting he’d been working on, “Well that was uncalled for.”

Katniss all but growled as she ran her hands through her hair, accidentally tugging at one of her waterfall braids since she’d stopped by the bakery before a show, hence she was ready for it, wearing a dark golden yellow dress with orange detailing trialing around her waist and down her skirt, thread depicting birds and autumn leaves. Her now usual waterfall braids in place.

“That thing is unbearable, I don’t know how Prim does it.”

In the six days since she’d first practiced on Haymitch’s piano, in which she’d returned once, Prim had declared the metronometer a huge help, Katniss had noticed her sister could struggle to keep a steady rhythm when playing on her own, and the wooden triangle did seem to help her, but to Katniss, it just got her out of the moment, away from the music and distracted her.

She’d taken it with her to stop by the bakery in hopes she might get it, giving it one last chance as she sat on the clean table they used to store bags and boxes while Peeta worked on her dad’s book, painting in the latest flower she’d managed to get a sample of.

Peeta shrugged, “You play best when you get lost in the music, makes sense it wouldn’t work a lot for you… doesn’t mean you have to torture the thing.” He teased.

She rolled her eyes, setting her guitar down and hoping down from the table, “I just stopped it.”

He didn’t seem convinced but didn’t argue, returning to his painting, “You can keep practicing you know. I don’t mind.”

“I know. I just wanna rest a bit before my show.”

This was her fourth time meeting him at the back of the bakery to work on the book.

There was a certain constant, he only invited her over when he knew his mother would either be away or be busy working the books.

She didn’t mind that, she wasn’t sure that she might be able to resist the urge to hit her over the head with her guitar if she encountered her.

But… she was starting to get a bit more comfortable roaming around as Peeta worked either on paintings or frosting or kneading bread.

She found the place always looked a bit different depending on what orders they were working on or if they were just baking the usual breads they sold.

Katniss walked around just for something to do.

“How did it go with Haymitch?” Peeta asked as he grabbed a finer brush for the last detailing, “You didn’t say much about it.”

She shrugged, “There wasn’t much to say, I went in through the window, he was asleep in the couch, I played and left, I think he was asleep the whole time… but… the piano… Peeta it’s absolutely beautiful, even the one in the Mayor’s house just doesn’t hold a candle to it. It has carvings of flowers and leaves and spirals, it’s just breathtaking.”

He smiled, just taking in her own happiness, “Sounds pretty.”

“Yeah, and there’s also- ah!”

Katniss had been gesturing, getting careless when she’d gotten a bit closer to the ovens, one of her arms accidentally grazing the hot metal, jumping instinctually and hissing, Peeta instantly getting up.

“Are you alright?”

Katniss hissed as she looked down, a part of the back of her forearm was faintly red, not a serious burn luckily, “I’m fine, just didn’t realize I was that close.”

He quickly guided her to the small metal table next to a few cupboards, pulling out cold water and pouring it into a basin, Katniss dipping her forearm in and wincing, feeling herself blush in embarrassment.

She was usually more aware of her surroundings, more attentive, she’d stupidly gotten too wrapped up talking to and watching Peeta. It was humiliating.

“Sorry-”

“Hey don’t apologize, I should be the one apologizing, I should’ve realized you were getting too close.” Peeta quickly said, searching a cabinet for a small bottle with aloe vera and bandages, like he’d said before, bakers were familiar with burns.

“It’s not that bad.” Katniss tried to assure him, already feeling her skin cooling down in the water, “You don’t need to-”

“Indulge me sweetheart.” He said, somehow both firm and soft.

She rolled her eyes but let him apply some aloe vera after her arm had fully cooled down and she dried it, Peeta carefully bandaging her up despite Katniss considering that being a bit over the top.

As he taped off the last bit of the bandage, a thought came to her, unable to help a snort.

“What?” He asked, still focused on the bandage.

She half shrugged, “Nothing, it just occurred to me that… now we’re matching.”

Peeta glanced to his own arm, which was no longer bandaged but was still healing, a long sleeve covering up most of it.

He chuckled quietly, taking her hand and running a thumb over her knuckles as he met her gaze, “I suppose we are… it doesn’t hurt too much?”

“I’m fine Peeta. It was just a graze. Seriously.”

He watched her for a long moment, scrutinizing her. 

“Still sorry.” Before Katniss could say he didn’t have anything to feel sorry over, she’d been dumb and had gotten herself burned it wasn’t his fault- he lifted her hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of her wrist, right next to the bandage, 

Her stomach dropped to the floor, her breath escaping her at the feeling of his lips against her skin, at the way his eyes didn’t leave hers as he ran a thumb over the spot he’d kissed.

Oh…

Oh this was bad.

This was so fucking bad.

Forget the fire and the hot metal- now- now she was burning.

Peeta looked like he was suppressing a smile, probably at the obvious blush taking over her face as she pulled her arm back and cleared her throat, mindlessly checking the bandage, “Thanks.”

He just nodded, glancing at the clock on the wall, “You wanna start heading downtown?”

She followed his gaze, she still had half an hour before her performance… but she could use a walk, “Yeah.”

He quickly boxed up the cake he had to deliver to the same party she’d be performing at and they passed by the front to let Bannock know they were heading out, only one batch of bread still in the oven.

Bannock frowned as they passed by the counter, looking at the bandage on her arm, “What happened?”

“Got too close to the oven, it’s nothing really, should be fine in a day or two.” Katniss waved off.

He snorted, “Don’t worry, it’s happened to everyone.”

“Yeah, one time Bannock burned his entire ass cause he leaned back-”

“Dude, we agreed that never happened!” Bannock hissed, Peeta just laughing.

Maybe that was revenge for the manhandling that’d taken place on Katniss’s first visit.

She just snorted, quietly shaking her head at the brothers antics as Peeta opened the door for her and they went to step outside, a gentle hand on her lower back guiding her.

They started their walk in comfortable silence, Katniss taking in the cool air of the early afternoon.

After a few minutes of slow, calm walking, Peeta turned to her, “Hey… are you free this Friday? After school?”

She carefully made sure she showed no reaction.

Friday was his birthday.

She knew. Even if he’d never mentioned it.

She might’ve also been wracking her brain over what she could get for him if he did indeed bring it up, or if someone happened to mention it and she could have an excuse as to how she knew.

“Yes. Why?”

Peeta went to rub the back of his neck, like he did when he was nervous or on the rare occasions he didn’t know what to say.

“Umm… it’s my birthday and I was hoping to do a small get together after school in the Meadow. Just Delly, Madge and Thom since we’ve been hanging out more… and you if you… want to.”

Katniss nodded along, “Sure, is everyone bringing something?”

“I’m planning on having bread and cheese, and ham if Graham manages to get some, you don’t have to bring anything.”

Katniss nodded along again, already planning on asking Delly and Madge what they’d bring.

“…I hadn’t noticed you and Thom were hanging out more.”

Peeta shrugged, “We’re both in the wrestling team, we’d just never had much of a reason to talk before… feels like everyone’s been easier to talk to lately. Haven’t you noticed it?”

Katniss considered, “Maybe it’s the spring fully setting in.”

He gestured around to the town square, “Feels like this whole place is a bit lighter to be honest… I think it’s you.”

Katniss snorted, “What?”

“Your music. I mean… pretty much everyone goes to your Hob shows at this point, be it to every single one or every two weeks… I think it’s had a certain effect on everyone. We dance and we sing together and we just… forget for a bit about worrying about tomorrow. And the fact we’re all together just enjoying ourselves… I think it seeps into our everyday lives… everyone’s a bit… more willing to talk… to live. It’s brought us closer together. Don’t you think?”

Katniss looked away, thinking.

She had noticed that there was a certain… levity in the air… or maybe it was just that the crushing weight over Twelve had lessened every so slightly.

More casual chatter to be overheard at the Hob, more joking around from kids at school, sharing more than they had before. 

She’d assumed it might’ve just been her actually taking notice of more things around her now that she had more time… but maybe things really had been changing in Twelve.

“I… can see what you mean?”

Peeta grinned knowingly, “But you refused to believe it’s because of you.”

“It’s not because of me!” He shook his head, endeared, “Come on Peeta, maybe there’s some roll there since people get together for my shows but- it’s nothing.”

“Sure it’s not.” He let her win. Maybe because he could tell this wasn’t something he’d be able to convince her of, at least not in the little time it’d take them to reach the merchant house where she’d be performing.

“I wonder if…” he trailed off, glancing down.

“What?”

Peeta hesitated, stepping closer, hunching down and lowering his voice, his lips nearly grazing her ear, “If maybe… that’s part of the reason why they tried to erase the Covey…” her steps almost faltered, “their shows brought people together… made Twelve feel united. They could’ve thought that dangerous.”

He didn’t have to specify who ‘they’ were.

The Capitol would hate a united District.

“…maybe it was.”

Peeta frowned, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No it’s fine… I don’t mind talking about that. I actually-”

“Miss Swan!” Katniss turned to see small gaggle of kids running her way, magpies, she’d started calling them in her mind. Seam kids probably running errands or playing with merchant kids, she’d seen the two groups integrating more at her shows, dancing and playing.

She contained a wince at the ‘Miss’, Peeta snorting.

“Hey kids.” 

One of the boys, the son of one of the best dressmakers in Twelve stepped up, “Did you like the buttons? We found some purple ones! They’re a bit chipped- but they’re colorful!”

Katniss smiled, “Oh yeah, that was you?”

“Yes!”

“I did love the color, and the chips give them personality.”

The boy seemed relieved she didn’t mind the imperfections.

“Oh- I found you this stone, I didn’t find one pretty enough for the last show. Here.” A girl, daughter of a miner offered a small white rock, somehow almost devoid of coal dust.

Katniss took it, carefully inspecting it, “Wow, this one is really pretty. Thank you.”

She wanted to remind the kids they didn’t need to pay her for the shows, but they seemed to take pride in finding her odd bits and bobs, buttons and pretty rocks and flowers, even the occasional feather, little bits of beauty and color they collected and brought to her like magpies, hence her nickname for them.

“You kids have a good eye for stones, I’ll have to get a new jar soon to keep them all.”

They lit up at the realization that she really did keep everything they gave her.

Peeta cast her an amused glance.

Another girl, the eldest of the carpenters daughters hesitated before speaking, “Can I touch your dress?”

“Of course you can.” She swayed slightly in place, letting her skirt flare a bit as some of the kids cautiously reached out.

She didn’t mind if they got a bit of coal dust on the fabric, not even that could even hope to dull the vibrant Covey colors she wore with pride. The kids were careful though, wiping their hands as best as they could before touching the skirts.

“How does… how does your guitar work?” Another kid asked.

Katniss brought her guitar forth and crouched down, gently showing them what noise each string created and letting them curiously pluck them, the kids giggling at the sound they created.

Peeta also crouched down, telling them to ask her about arpeggios, leading her to showing off a simple one, the kids watching fascinated.

After a bit, he gently reached out to guide her up, his hand finding the small of her back again, “Sorry kids, but we gotta go, Miss Swan-” he barely dodged the elbow she tried to drive into his gut, “has a performance to get to, and this cake won’t deliver itself.”

The kids pouted but understood, running off again. Katniss tried to ignore the gentle and grateful looks sent her way by the adults in the square that’d witnessed the interaction.

Peeta held off all of a minute before turning to her with a grin, “You keep the rocks?”

Katniss rolled her eyes, defensiveness climbing up in her chest, “In a jar yeah- what was I supposed to do? Throw them away? I’m not heartless.”

He shook his head, his grin becoming a smile, “You’re such a softie.”

“You take that back!” She demanded, trying not to smile as well.

He grinned wickedly, getting closer until their faces were mere inches apart, “Make me.” He challenged.

He then instantly yelped when Katniss didn’t hesitate to drive two fingers into his gut, poking at him as he laughed, trying to get a hold of her wrists as she continued her assault, only careful enough to not knock the boxed cake out of his hand.

Then Peeta feigned right and moved left, managing to get behind her and wrapping his uninjured arm around her waist, pulling her until her back hit his chest, his arm around her lifting her up and spinning her, effectively disarming her, hand gripping her hip and making her nearly choke on the heat suddenly spreading down through her chest.

The feeling of his strong chest against her, the effortless way he lifted her with just one arm and the warm hand at her hip made the feeling click into place.

She thought she was familiar with hunger, and this feeling was similar to it, only it craved something other than food.

Want.

Desire.

Hunger.

Was there any difference between them?

She managed to weasel away, shoving at him with a laugh, forcing some distance before she could do something stupid, like punching him, or kissing him.

Peeta seemed to sense she needed a second of distance, looking vaguely worried that maybe he’d overdone it, but Katniss still walked at his side, trying not to look at him.

They made it to the merchant house, Peeta holding the door open for her, his hand brushing against her lower back for only a moment, Katniss mourning the loss of contact before chastising herself and heading further in.

She had a show to give.

As she took her place at the far end of a room holding two tables with a few guests, she switched what was supposed to be her opening song, suddenly understanding one of the songs in her journal.

‘I spend my life becoming invisible.

It’s hard to maintain and it’s hard to get by.

I don’t recall fight or flight setting in.

I have no introduction, I just breath it in like the air.

And there’s nothing to remember.

There is nothing to remember.’

Despite trying to ignore it, she couldn’t help but follow Peeta’s blonde curls as he unboxed the cake and set it at a table, saying something to the woman who’d organized the get together.

At some point she’d made a habit of watching him.

‘I owe you nothing, that’s all I’ve got for you.

And you’ll borrow nothing, that’s what you expect of me.

So send me a lot out of thin sailors knots.

And I fear underneath, your radiant thoughts.

My footsteps now, they will echo loudly.’

She tore her eyes away, looking down at her guitar, wondering for a moment which of the Covey had written this piece, what’d been going through their heads. 

If they too had been realizing the feelings sinking their claws into their chests and trying to talk themselves out of it.

‘All I owe, all I owe.

Strides I spend to the finish line

All I owe, all I owe.

Strides I spend to the finish line

I’ll give you those.’

She dared glance up, catching Peeta watching her, eyes too soft… a peril really.

‘You told me something that scared me to death.

Don’t take me home I can’t face that yet.

I’m ashamed that I’m barely human.

And I’m ashamed that I don’t have a heart you can break.

I’m just action and at other times reaction.’

Sometimes she really hated that she was starting to truly understand some of the thoughts past Coveys had once had while writing.

‘All I owe, all I owe.

Strides I spend to the finish line

All I owe, all I owe.

Strides I spend to the finish line.

I’ll give you those.’

She shut her eyes.

‘Just don’t make me go home.

Give me something to remember.

Give me something to remember.

Give me something to remember.’

She finished her song, forcing a smile as she quickly introduced her next song, trying to keep her eyes on the crowd and away from Peeta as he got ready to leave.

***

Madge tilted her head, leaning her cheek against her hand, “You know… it sounds to me like you’re just freaking out.”

“I’m not freaking out!” Katniss snapped as she paced Madge’s room, she’d come over as soon as the show was over.

Madge scrunched up her nose, “You sure about that?”

“I just- I just don’t get it!” Katniss groaned as she let herself fall face first into Madge’s bed.

After a moment she felt the mattress dip slightly as Madge sat down, “Listen… it sounds like you’re a bit… confused… have you tried writing about it? Might give you more clarity?”

Katniss turned her face slightly so it wasn’t buried in her pillow, “I am not singing about my nonsense to miners.”

“I never said to write something for the Hob, you could just write it for yourself, to help you try and figure out how you’re feeling.”

Katniss slowly sat up, pulling her knees to her chest, tracing the thread in her dress, sighing, “I… I don’t know… putting it to paper… feels like that’d make it real.”

Madge wrapped an arm around her, leaning her head against her shoulder, “And would that be so bad?”

“…it might be.”

“It might not be.” Madge stayed like that for a minute before standing up, walking to Katniss’s satchel, which she’d left hanging on a chair and took out her journal, ink pot and pen, dragging Katniss to her desk, “Just try.”

Katniss sighed.

Putting her words to paper felt dangerous… but she knew it would also help her figure out if this feeling was what she thought it was.

After a few failed attempts, trying to reason things out, to talk herself out of this… Katniss tried her best to turn off the logical part of her brain screaming at her to not let herself fall into this and just… wrote.

It might’ve been an hour as Madge worked on embroidering a cushion for one of her mom’s friends and Katniss wrote.

She read through what felt half like a poem but more like word vomit, her stomach churning.

Madge noticed when she stopped, “So?”

Katniss wordlessly handed her journal over, eyes glued to the desk.

It was something that would never see the light of day, she couldn’t imagine daring to sing it, but… it was the truth, and it was something she’d needed to get out.

A confession.

‘Desire is a bitch.

Anything that says otherwise is desire itself.

I’ve never confessed this fast.

I look at you and I’m doubled over in confession, desire punched me in the stomach - bitch - demanding me to spit it out.

Tell, tell.

Nothing good sits around and soaks in your unsaid words waiting to be whispered…

Waiting to be whispered, I roll your name around in my hands and I watch you while I hold it.

It’s soft and rough at the same time ( you know what I mean ).

It’s delicate. Like I could snap your name in half.

But I’m carelessly careful and I didn’t use to be.

Way before our time maybe things weren’t left

unsqueezed

unbroken

untethered

unspoken

unleashed

“Uncalled for”, you say?

I am the personification of “uncalled for”.

And yet you call me.

Call for me at 10:17 am a sweetheart-

I hate being called sweetheart, I find it condescending- I like when you do, I don’t like that I like when you do- something is breaking

…and I’m at the altar.

confession confession confession’

Katniss could feel her face heat up as Madge’s eyes took in her writing.

She set the journal down, considering for a long moment before slowly turning to Katniss, “…call me crazy… but it kinda sounds to me… like you like Peeta… and you hate that you do.”

Katniss crossed her arms, leaning back in the chair.

“…is it really so bad?” Madge asked gently, “You know… I’m pretty sure he feels the same way?”

She just shook his head, “He’s just kind.”

Madge raised an eyebrow.

She sighed, “It’s… I didn’t… I didn’t want this… it’s…”

It was foolish. Dangerous.

There was no guarantee it wouldn’t bite her in the ass eventually.

Madge stepped closer, tilting her head again, “It’s scary… but… don’t you think it might just be worth it?”

Katniss didn’t answer, going to cover her face with her hands.

Chapter Text

Katniss leaned back against the trunk of a tree, high up above the ground.

She took a second to embrace the moment, keeping herself balanced and comfortably sat as she looked at her journal, writing a few nonsensical lyrics that might wind up being something useful once Prim read through them and helped Katniss edit it all. 

She also listened to the mockingjays, whistling back and forth after she’d given them a few notes, writing down as best as she could the melody they’d turned her tune into, she was sure a few of the notes weren’t accurate but it was a close thing.

Once the ink had dried, Katniss placed her journal back into her satchel and observed the forest below her, slowly un-slinging her bow from her back and taking aim, shooting a wild turkey straight through the eye.

It was her second of the day, two rabbits already hanging from her belt.

“Well you’re on a roll.” Gale emerged from one of the bushes, half-frowning as he watched her jump down from the tree, eyes flying past the catches on her belt.

Katniss shrugged, “Had an early start.”

Gale pressed his lips together, not seeming to fully believe her, after all, Katniss tended to take things a bit easier on the hunt nowadays, but wisely didn’t make any comment.

He knew he was about two missteps away from Katniss permanently cutting him off even from her hunting time.

In truth, Katniss was determined to have one of the best hunting weekends of her life.

She had to if she was going to be able to get what she wanted for Peeta’s birthday without feeling like she was being reckless.

She and Gale continued on their usual path, his snares having caught two rabbits and a bird, Katniss shooting two squirrels.

They gathered a few berries as well as herbs to trade at the Hob. The previous day, Katniss had made her way down to the lake and managed to get a few fish as well.

After nearly two hours of silence, Gale took a breath, “Rory told me you and Prim are going by stage names now.”

Katniss stilled for a moment.

She knew Gale’s siblings were frequent attendants of her Hob shows, as well as his mother.

She didn’t mind it. His siblings hadn’t been the ones running their mouth.

She just wished they wouldn’t say anything about her shows to Gale.

“Apparently it was a bit of a family tradition.” She half lied, not interested in explaining any of the Covey heritage or traditions to him, “That’s all.”

“Why did you-”

“We should start heading back.” Katniss interrupted, shutting down the conversation.

He knew she didn’t do small talk. Not with him.

Not anymore.

She might find it in herself to forgive him someday. But that day was most certainly still in the distant future, impeded by the anger that she could see more and more often brewing in him.

The anger that might destroy him.

Something she was most certainly not exactly willing to be a witness to.

They left the woods, split the goods in a way that seemed fair enough and Katniss set off hurriedly towards the Peacekeeper base.

She sold the wild turkeys there, sold one of the rabbits to a dress-maker and the other to a carpenter, sold one of the squirrels to Delly and half the berries went to Madge for free since she’d been a big help in figuring out what to get.

She sold the herbs at the apothecary as well as the other half of the berries. The fishes went to the Mayor himself, who seemed surprised that there even were fish in District Twelve, deeming them a luxury and probably overpaying Katniss a bit.

It felt weird, trading solely for coins when she was usually more… flexible with her hunting game.

But this time it was necessary.

Once she’d made the rounds and had made a quick stop back home to make sure she had enough without even glancing at the savings kept in a box under the bed to be able to fully justify it in her head- he’d been nothing but kind to her, he’d helped her when she was injured, he- he was Peeta, she made her way back into town and straight towards the stationer’s store.

She’d stopped by a few days prior, hashing out details and prices and what the ideal choice would be.

The agreed promised free performance and some coins later, she had Peeta’s gift.

She shoved down any idea that it meant anything, as well as the excitement at imagining his reaction.

It was just a gift… that was it.

Maybe if she repeated it to herself enough times, she’d start truly believing it.

***

Katniss had been fidgeting with the tune box while sitting on the piano bench, trying to compare the keys and notes when a gruff voice interrupted her.

“What are you doing?”

She jumped. She’d never suspected that Haymitch might be able to sneak up on her, not with how much he usually stumbled. And yet…

Katniss bit back a snarl, turning to him, who was leaning against the door frame, “I’m just trying to see how the piano compares with the tune box.”

Haymitch’s frown deepened, “That’s not how you hold the tune box.”

Katniss looked down at the instrument currently resting in her lap, “What?”

Haymitch rolled his eyes before walking in, grabbing the tune box with a surprisingly gentleness and shifting it, Katniss had been holding it with the keys and buttons facing up, Haymitch placing it so they were facing away from her, taking her wrists and adjusting her hands to almost hug the tune box, no longer needing to partially contort her hand in order to push down on the keys.

Oh.

Yeah that made more sense.

She felt herself furiously blushing.

Haymitch snorted, “Some advice sweetheart, if you’re going to borrow instruments, make sure you know how they’re held before going off with them.”

“Shut up.” She snapped, eyes glued to the journal on the music stand and the song she’d been trying to make sense of and see how it changed from the tune box to the piano.

He snorted, leaning against the side of the piano, “Ohhhh, someone’s wound up tight today… what’s with the stick up your ass? Boy trouble?”

Katniss all but growled, “I’m not here to chitchat.”

“Well unfortunately for you, I’m bored!”

Katniss tilted her head, inspecting him.

She didn’t believe him.

“Why did you come in here?”

This was her fifth time here. Since showing her the piano, he hadn’t said a word to her. She’d only seen him when leaving, sprawled over the kitchen table, half asleep on the couch or sitting on the porch.

She didn’t believe simple boredom would cause him to open the door.

Haymitch’s eyes slowly drifted to the journal on the music stand, to the title of the song.

‘The Goose and the Common’.

It clicked in her mind.

“Was it one of her songs?” She didn’t have to specify who she was talking about.

“…yeah… and you’re butchering it.”

She didn’t take the bait, looking to the journal.

She hesitated. Knew she shouldn’t… but since Peeta had proposed she ask, the worm had been eating through her brain. And now that she had the chance-

“Was she… was she close with my dad?” She asked bitingly, forcing the words out.

Haymitch blinked in surprise, eyes dropping to her for a split second before going to the piano keys, “…yes. She used to sing for him… I met her when he convinced me to go into the woods with him.”

The last part almost sounded like it’s slipped out of his lips without permission. Haymitch quietly shaking his head like he was trying to snap out of it.

He spun on his heel, going to leave, when his hand landed on the door knob, Katniss spoke again, eyes glued to the tune box.

“Do you think… do you think he would’ve told me about her? About…. them? Eventually?”

Haymitch stayed still for a moment, but, instead of slamming the door and walking away or telling her to get out as she suspected he might, he turned back to her, inspecting her as she kept her eyes on the instrument.

“…he probably would’ve. Eventually.”

Katniss just nodded.

He left without another word.

Katniss stayed for another two hours, longer than she’d ever stayed before, going over the melody of ‘The Goose and the Common’ over and over again, a part of her quickly able to tell this must’ve been one of Lenore Dove’s forbidden songs.

When she was done, she left through the window.

Because somehow, she suspected Haymitch was outside, sitting in the hall, listening.

And she knew neither one wanted to see the other so soon after the slip of their masks.

***

Katniss had finally accepted that she had become a vain monster.

Didn’t mean she took pride in it.

She bit the inside of her cheek as she compared two of her dresses, the two she’d managed to pick out as her last contenders to wear to the Meadow.

Prim sat on the bed, small smile on her face, “You don’t usually struggle to pick dresses this much.” She said casually.

Katniss shrugged, trying to play it off, “I just really like the two.”

School had just ended. Which meant she had a little over an hour to get to the Meadow

She really had to just make up her mind already.

The first dress was the red one with off-shoulder sleeves and ruffles.

The second had a teal top and sleeves that faded into a beautiful green towards the bottom part, with swirls in different shades of blue and green.

Katniss traced one of the green swirls before finally choosing that one, pulling it on and then sitting down to let Prim give her a braided headband as she put on a bit of rouge on her cheeks and lips.

She left with only a few minutes to spare, not wanting to be the first there, setting off towards the Meadow.

At this point, no one seemed surprised by the colors she wore, instead everyone in the Seam seemed to have gotten into the habit of smiling her way and waving whenever they saw her in her dresses.

Reaching the Meadow, she saw both Delly and Peeta sitting under the shade of a tree, chatting as they worked on preparing what would be their lunch.

She went to sit down in front of them on the blanket they’d set up, “Hi.”

Delly looked up, giving her a dashing smile, “Hi Kat!”

She’d taken to calling her Kat from time to time, she still wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Hey Katniss.”

“Hey Peeta… happy birthday.”

He smiled almost bashfully, “Thanks.”

It only took a few minutes for Madge and Thom to arrive.

Aside from the bread with ham and cheese, they’d all brought something else despite Peeta’s insistence on it not being necessary.

Delly brought a bag of gumdrops and one of peppermints.

Thom brought some lemonade, Madge brought cut up peaches and Katniss sliced up squirrel meat.

They ate happily as they chatted about school and homework and nonsense.

Thom and Peeta seemed to have an ongoing debate about what the best strategies were when it came to wrestling and about how long it took to run from the merchant square to the school, something about a bet and a test that’d had mixed results.

Delly and Madge were telling Katniss they wanted to head into the woods to search for berries since Katniss had mentioned it was nearing a good blooming season.

Time seemed to fly, Thom was the first to leave, since he had to help his mom with some work, Madge and Delly left together an hour later, Delly casting her a barely contained smile and Madge giving her a knowing glance as they went to leave, arms linked and trading whispers.

Katniss felt herself blush as she shifted to lean against the tree trunk just to do something with herself as Peeta waved goodbye to Delly.

He leaned back against the trunk at her side, turning to her, giving her a gentle smile.

She smiled back, “Has it been a good birthday so far?”

“The best.” He said quietly.

Seventeen. And still alive, and even beyond that still soft.

Quite the achievement in Twelve.

Peeta glanced down to the case she’d set to the side, “Is that the tune box?”

“Yeah… apparently I’d been holding it wrong and that’s why I was having trouble with it.”

Peeta snorted.

She bumped against his side, “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I would never.” He replied, turning to her, shoulder to shoulder, chin tilted down to meet her gaze, “Thanks for the squirrel meat. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome… but that wasn’t you gift. It was just for the picnic.”

He frowned ever so slightly.

She felt her heart starting to speed up as she pulled her satchel into her lap.

She knew Delly had given him her gift, some kind of canvas book, at school. Madge had given him a new set of paint brushes and Thom a hand-made wooden figurine.

Katniss hadn’t wanted to give him her gift in front of the others.

“I um… I hope you like it.” She said nervously, starting to burn as she quickly pulled two small boxes from her satchel and all but thrust them into his arms.

His gentle smile and eyes fell, shock replacing them as he opened the boxes and realized what he was holding.

The first box was a small metal case, opening it revealed a set of squares containing a variety of colors, both vibrant and soft. Watercolors.

The second box was wooden, it held several small tubes labeled with different colors inside, oil paints.

Peeta didn’t say anything for a long moment, simply staring at the paints.

Katniss tensed up, “Do you… like them?”

He looked up at her, eyes wide, “Katniss I- I love them. But… this- this is too much-”

“Don’t say that.” She looked down, fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt.

The watercolors had been relatively easy. A promised free performance was enough for those.

The oil paints had been expensive… but she wasn’t about to admit that.

She slowly managed to meet his gaze again.

He sighed, sounding almost like she’d stolen the breath from his lungs, “Katniss… you didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to.” She spoke over him, feeling herself blush, “…happy birthday Peeta.”

He slowly smiled, “Thank you Katniss.”

Then, before she could process he’d even carefully set the paints to the side, he pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her in a hug.

She tensed up for a split second before practically melting into the hug, wrapping her arms around his neck, hiding her face against his neck.

She felt… safe.

Katniss sighed as she melted further into him, all tension leaving her body for the long minute the hug lasted.

Then, as they broke apart, she cleared her throat, relieved that she wasn’t the only one blushing, seeking to change the subject.

“Anyway I uh- I could use an honest critique on how I’m doing with the tune box.” She said, avoiding his gaze as she quickly took the tune box out of its case and placed it in her lap.

He took a moment to just watch her, “I’d be honored.”

She nodded along, “Be warned, this one is still a bit rough, I’m still figuring out the keys… but I think you’ll like it.”

He tilted his head as he continued watching her.

Katniss started the song carefully, treating the tune box with all the gentleness that she could muster, the song she’d found, that had reminded her of Peeta and that she’d carefully prepared was one that had been signed M.I.

Maude Ivory. It was a more… raw version of Keep on the Sunny Side, she imagined it might’ve been written once she’d gotten older. 

It was a song Katniss could actually get behind, mostly because it made her think of Prim and Peeta.

‘Black clouds are behind me, I now can see a hill.

Often I wonder why I try hoping for an end.

Sorrow weighs my shoulders down and trouble haunts my mind.

But I know that the present will not last and tomorrow will be kinder.’

Peeta carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders, clearly waiting to see her reaction.

Katniss shifted to lean her back against his side, his arm falling to go around her waist, carefully slotted between her body and the tune box, his breath brushing her hair.

‘Tomorrow will be kinder, it’s true, I’ve seen it before.

A brighter day is coming my way, yes, tomorrow will be kinder.’

She let her head fall against him, shutting her eyes and letting herself get lost in the melody, feeling Peeta studying her, letting him.

‘Today I’ve cried a many tear, and pain is in my heart.

Around me lies a somber scene, I don’t know where to start.

But I feel warmth on my skin, the stars have all aligned.

The wind has blown but now I know, that tomorrow will be kinder.’

Her breath caught in her throat and she played the wrong keys when he pressed a gentle kiss against her hair.

She felt more than she heard his chuckle, quickly recovering.

‘Tomorrow will be kinder, I know, I’ve seen it before.

A brighter day is coming my way, yes, tomorrow will be kinder.

A brighter day is coming my way… yes… tomorrow will be kinder.’

She ended the song, relieved that she was facing away from him, she wasn’t exactly sure how she’d be able to meet his gaze with his arm still around her, hand at her hip.

“That was beautiful.” He said in a soft tone, almost a whisper.

She felt the corners of her lips tugging up, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, somehow after a while her head ending up resting against his lap as he messily braided some of her hair, trying to tuck flowers in between loose plaits. Katniss humming and occasionally singing a soft melody, mockingjays in the tree singing back to her as she worked on a flower crown for Prim.

She stopped her work for a moment when Peeta told her the sunset was approaching, talking about the colors painting the sky and how he might be able to replicate them.

They fell into silence again as the sky turned pink and orange.

Then…

“I wish…” Peeta hesitated, looking down, eyes glued to her hair, not meeting her gaze, “I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever.”

She watched his face, feeling her heart skip a beat.

This was dangerous, it was stupid and it might just come back to bite her in the ass.

No… it might destroy her.

But she just reached up, knuckles brushing against his hand, shutting her eyes, “Okay.”

She could hear the smile and the blush in his voice, “Then you’ll allow it?”

“…I’ll allow it.”

They stayed there for longer than they probably should have, when the first stars started peeking and twinkling in the sky, they finally got up, Peeta folding the blanket as Katniss placed the tune box in its case.

He insisted on walking her home, the two flustered but comfortable as they made their way to the Seam.

He gave her a soft smile as they reached her door, “…see you tomorrow?”

She nodded, “See you tomorrow.”

They both lingered, stealing a few more seconds together before Peeta chuckled and went to step back, keeping his eyes on her for a few steps before finally turning to leave, Katniss going to open the door to her house.

She shut it and leaned against it, smiling to herself.

That night, laying in bed, she realized there was no going back.

No matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be able to talk herself out of these feelings, wouldn’t be able to convince herself to shut Peeta out to keep him from crawling under her skin and making a home there.

It was too late for that.

She covered her face with her hands, sighing in the shadows.

She was too much of a mess, too broken, too used to being on her guard and too afraid of what this might turn into, of how it might end.

What would happen when he realized that? 

Katniss sat up, lighting the candle at her bedside table and leaning against the wall, Buttercup sitting up when he saw the light from where he rested at Prim’s feet.

She was practically giving Peeta every way and key to destroy her… he’d surely turn her into a tragedy wouldn’t he?

This would surely end wrong wouldn’t it?

Clerk Carmine had told her jokingly that a Covey in love was a doomed Covey, a tragedy waiting to happen… only his eyes hadn’t seemed to believe it was a joke.

And yet she could no longer find it in herself to try and prevent it. To try and stop it. To try and talk herself out of it.

Instead, she took out her journal.

And she wrote.

***

Her mom had been cautious when asking about Haymitch.

Like she wasn’t sure whether or not she even wanted to know anything about him.

But she must’ve seen something in her daughter’s face when she came back from his house a few days later.

Katniss had been practicing once more when she’d heard the screaming.

Horrific, gut-wrenching screams that had her bolting down the hall, half-convinced someone was currently being gutted.

It’d been Haymitch, writhing on the couch trapped in a nightmare.

He’d been flailing so much the only way to wake him without getting hit was to kick him off the couch.

He’d jerked awake with wide, fear-filled eyes, nearly attacking her before seeming to realize where he was.

He’d yelled at her to get out, Katniss hadn’t argued.

She quietly told her mom when she asked if something had happened.

A few days later, when she returned, she found Haymitch lounging at the kitchen table, eating bread with jam.

She walked up to him, placing down the bottle a few inches in front of him.

He raised a slow eyebrow, turning to her, “That’s not alcohol sweetheart.”

“You’ll get your alcohol on the weekend. This is sleeping syrup… my mom sends it.”

He stayed quiet for a long minute, slowly reaching out to take the bottle like it might grow teeth and bite him, “…that so?”

“Yes.”

He sighed heavily, “Nearly twenty-five years and she hasn’t changed.”

She felt a muscle in her jaw tick, “Don’t talk about her like you still know her. Hasn’t changed- she’s barely been alive since my dad died-” she cut herself off, cursing herself for letting herself slip, crossing her arms and looking for a way to recover, “Was it Lenore Dove? What you were dreaming about?”

Haymitch’s gaze hardened, “No.”

“So the Arena then?”

He half scoffed, half snorted, “Anyone ever tell you you’re too blunt sweetheart?”

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever.”

She turned, ready to go practice. Satisfied with her recovery.

But right as she reached the threshold of the room-

“Do you know Ladybug, Ladybug?” He wasn’t looking at her, instead spinning an empty glass on the table.

She frowned, “Yes.”

“Play it today won’t you?”

She scoffed, “I don’t play what I’m told to.”

She turned and continued her path to the music room.

Katniss went through her practice, going through a full scale and two songs she’d been rehearsing over and over again aside from The Goose and the Common and Tomorrow Will be Kinder, which she also practiced a bit.

Then, as she started getting ready to leave, she hesitated.

She remembered the panicked, fearful look in Haymitch’s eyes when he’d woken up.

Katniss sighed to herself, cursing her weakness as she sat back down and tested out the keys she needed before softly playing Ladybug, Ladybug, knowing by now that the sound of the piano traveled throughout a few rooms.

Then she left, passing by the kitchen where Haymitch still was.

Neither said anything about it.

It seemed like that was going to become a thing.

Chapter Text

Katniss was practically shaking as she weaved her hair into a simple braid, feeling slightly nauseous.

Today was their yearly visit to the mines.

For the past few years, Katniss had somehow managed to not attend, getting so sick with worry and anxiety that her mom insisted she stay home and, given that she wasn’t one to ever really miss school, none of her teachers ever complained about her lack of attendance.

But this year, she hadn’t gotten sick enough for her mom to insist she stay. And she refused to ask to not go, she just had to get over her fear of the mines.

It was just a visit.

That was it.

She could survive that.

…probably.

She tightened her grip on her hunting jacket as she made her way towards the school, Prim noticing her tension, but she could tell Katniss didn’t want to talk about it.

She’d let her be for the time being.

Once Katniss had made it to school and her class was quickly herded outside to start the walk towards the mines, it didn’t take Madge long to notice how tense she was.

She gently linked their arms together as they walked.

“Hey… you alright?” She asked.

“I’m fine.” Katniss said in a snipping tone.

Madge frowned, but she didn’t pull away, instead tightening her hold on her arm.

The closer they got to the mines, the more Katniss had to remind herself to just keep breathing.

She was starting to suspect she might just throw up in front of all her classmates, she found herself clinging to Madge, who didn’t question it, simply letting Katniss use her as an anchor for the time being.

As soon as she could make out the entrance to the mines, a square that seemed to be carved from the hill, opening like jaws to show an obsidian abyss, she practically started shaking.

A gentle brush against the elbow that wasn’t linked with Madge’s arm nearly made her jump out of her skin.

“Hey… you okay?” Peeta appeared at her side, shooting a worried glance with Madge, who shrugged helplessly.

“Mm?” Katniss could barely react.

His hand found her lower back, stepping closer, “Hey what’s wrong?”

She just shook her head, “I’m fine. Really.”

The teacher started rattling off rules and reminders, saying how they’d be going down and up the elevator in groups of four and how they’d get an oil lamp per group.

They would be guided by the teacher and one of the miners, they were required to stick together and not wander off.

No fucking duh.

Katniss swallowed the bile trying to climb its way up her throat as they formed their groups, Peeta quietly signaling Delly to join them and round out their group.

Delly frowned as soon as she saw Katniss, “Kat you okay? You’re super pale do you feel bad?”

Katniss gritted her teeth, “I- I’m fine.”

She managed to force out.

They all traded glances, she kept her eyes on the ground.

Madge squeezed her hand, “Hey… I could talk to the teacher if you’re not feeling well, I’m sure that-”

“It’s fine Madge. I just- I gotta get over myself- it’s just a mine.”

She could almost feel the new traded looks they gave one another as they realized that it was the mines and the trip that had her shaken.

As they formed a line and Katniss could hear the mechanic creaks and squeaks of the elevators as groups started hoping on, her stomach turned and she gripped Madge’s arm and hand so tightly she must’ve been cutting off her circulation.

But Madge didn’t complain.

Katniss’s heart nearly dropped to her feet as it came their turn to step into the elevator and it dipped ever so slightly with their weight, Peeta’s hand still on her waist guiding her in, squeezing gently and waiting for her to gather her courage and fully step into the elevator.

She shut her eyes tightly as they started moving downward, Madge’s hold on her arm and hands, and Peeta’s touch at her back pretty much the only things to keep her from throwing up or screaming at the operator to get the elevator back up.

The door opened to the stone and darkness below, Delly having already turned the lamp on and lifting it, making sure Katniss was in its halo of vague comfort.

Katniss barely registered anything going on as they made their way through tunnels and darkness and coal dust and the sound of pickaxes falling.

The teacher and one of the miners explained the way coal could be differentiated from the rest of the cave structure, how they dug it out and where it went to be somewhat processed before being sent off to the Capitol.

It was mostly a buzz in her ears as she just focused on not having a break down.

Their time down there seemed eternal, Katniss’s skin already crawling at the lack of sun and the fact she had no way of knowing how much time had passed, she could barely breath through the dust, it was like it clung to her, trying to stick to her and make her stay.

After what she felt was far too long- maybe an entire day, the teacher finally started guiding them back to the elevator, Katniss was gritting her teeth together so harshly she was surprised she didn’t chip them as she watched the oil lamps make odd shapes over the rocks and heard the vague echoes of pickaxes falling turn into something almost sinister.

When it was finally their turn to get into the elevator, Katniss was very much on the verge of collapsing.

And then-

The elevator stopped halfway up, lurching for a moment and she nearly screamed, instinctually reaching out to grip Peeta’s shirt, her other hand still clinging to Madge.

She sucked in a shaky breath as a yell reached them, saying everything was fine but they needed a second to get the elevator to the surface.

“No- no no no no no no-” Katniss slipped down to the ground, Peeta somehow managing to get behind her and soften her fall, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him, her back against his chest.

“Katniss- Katniss- hey hey-” Madge kneeled in front of her, trying to get her to focus, “We’re gonna be out here in no time okay? Just give it a minute-”

Katniss just shook her head harshly, gasping for air like she’d drown at any moment.

Peeta squeezed her against him, lips against her hair, “Sweetheart- sweetheart could you try to breath with me?”

He tried to guide her in taking breaths with him, but she couldn’t focus, she was getting dizzy, couldn’t breath, couldn’t think couldn’t-

Madge cursed under her breath, gently taking her hands, trying to get to her but it was all white noise in her ears until-

‘In a cavern, in a canyon.

Excavating for a mine.’

Katniss froze at Peeta’s voice in her ear, gently singing-

“Are you fucking serious right now?” She managed to get out.

Peeta kept going, Madge easily joining in.

‘Dwelt a miner, forty-niner

And his daughter, Clementine.’

Delly grinned at the way Katniss seemed to not even realize her breathing slightly slowing down as she stared incredulously, joining in.

‘Oh my darling, oh my darling.

Oh my darling, Clementine.

You are lost and gone forever.

Dreadful sorry, Clementine.’

“That is literally- the worst- fucking song to sing while stuck in a fucking mine-” Katniss managed to get out.

They just traded glances and kept singing in growingly absurd tones and with way too much cheer for the situation at hand.

‘Light she was and like a fairy.

And her shoes were number nine.

Herring boxes, without topses .

Sandals were for Clementine!’

Katniss couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the ridiculousness of it all, her friends singing about a dead miner’s daughter while she was maybe stuck in the elevator leading down to the mines that’d killed her dad.

They all seemed to brighten up as her chuckle won over her fright, managing to breath just a bit more.

‘Oh my darling, oh my darling.

Oh my darling, Clementine.

You are lost and gone forever.

Dreadful sorry, Clementine.’

The elevator lurched and Katniss gasped, gripping Peeta’s arms, they were heading up.

Peeta gently helped her get up, all but carrying her to her feet, Madge helping her get her hair in order from where she’d tugged at it while in the mines, they already knew she’d hate her panic being obvious to the rest of her classmates.

It was already embarrassing enough that they’d seen it.

The moment the metallic door slid up, Katniss was hurrying out, Delly speaking loudly to keep attention away from Katniss as Madge and Peeta got her away from the small crowd since the they were allowed to leave as soon as the trip was over.

“Better?” Madge asked once they’d put some distance between them and the mines.

Katniss sighed, “Yeah, sorry about… that.”

“Don’t apologize. It happens.” Peeta tried to assure her.

Katniss shook her head but didn’t argue much, given that her legs still felt wobbly and his hand on her lower back was one of the only things keeping her upright.

Once they’d reached the fork in the road that split their usual paths, she gently tried to tell them she could get home on her own.

They didn’t look too convinced, insisting on accompanying her home.

It was humiliating in a way… but also… almost… nice.

She didn’t know what to do with this amount of care surrounding her. Keeping her together.

Once they made it to her house, she went inside, Peeta and Madge only leaving when they saw her mom was there, not saying anything about what had happened, just checking on her one last time before starting their journey back to town.

Katniss collapsed into bed and fell asleep in an instant.

Not surprisingly, she had nightmares about the coal dust and explosions and falling elevators. 

Surprisingly… they weren’t as bad as she’d feared they might be, the ghost of Peeta’s hands on her waist and the memory of the off-tune voices of the three blondes signing Oh My Darling, Clementine holding off some of the worst.

***

A few days later, once her embarrassment had mostly worn off, she was walking with Peeta, since she’d accompanied him to a last minute delivery after the afternoon rush had been worse than usual and, with his mom visiting some friend and his dad busy getting new supplies, the three brothers had been nearly having a crisis, Katniss finding herself behind the counter attending customers while the brothers fought over a batch of ruined bread in the back.

Something about a packet of yeast not working as it should have and ruining several batches.

It’d been quite something, getting a two minute crash course from Bannock on how to man the front before he’d run to join his brothers in the back room, who she was pretty sure were about two seconds away from winding up in a fist fight.

She’d done her best to be as friendly as possible, if it’d been just any bakery she wouldn’t have cared, but she knew- she’d seen how passionate Peeta was about his family’s business, so she’d pushed down her panic at being left alone and did her very best to just get orders in bags and get the change to customers quickly.

Luckily for her, yet again, her Covey dresses seemed to place a spell over everyone, customers mostly happily surprised to find her there and not seeming to mind at all that she was a bit slow.

That hadn’t stopped her from practically running to the back the second there were no customers to ask if they’d figured something out.

Another fifteen minutes at the front, one of the trays of popular breads empty much to Katniss’s dismay and Bannock emerged to take over, saying they’d managed to whip up a new batch, adding some other yeast and hoping it’d turn out fine and in just a few minutes, they’d have more bread.

Hopefully.

Katniss had gotten to return to the back, mostly ignoring the bickering between Graham and Peeta as they prepared one final batch of bread and were checking the packets of yeast to try and see if any others looked odd in any way shape or form.

After about half an hour, Graham had shoved a boxed cake at his youngest brother and told him to make the delivery, saying he’d run down to meet their dad and tell him about the yeast.

Peeta seemed overwhelmed and stressed in every sense of the word, taking the cake and wordlessly starting the walk to the merchant house that’d placed the order, Katniss joining him after trading a glance with Graham.

They walked at a hurried pace, Katniss letting silence settle down, sensing Peeta needed a moment of peace after the chaos of the bakery.

As soon as they’d made the delivery he finally looked at her, sighing heavily and going to cover his face, “Sorry about… all of that.”

Katniss shrugged, “Wasn’t your fault. And, it wasn’t that bad.”

Peeta watched her for a moment, making sure she meant it before nodding along, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to. We got nearly four pages of my dad’s book done today, I assure you we’re fine.”

He pressed his lips together, looking down.

She stepped closer, placing a hand on his shoulder, “You okay?”

“I’m just… a bit worried. I’m really hoping that was just a defecting packet and that it isn’t our whole supply of yeast for these two weeks… if it is… well we might just be fucked. My mother will be livid that’s for sure.”

Katniss tensed up.

He seldom mentioned his mother, but Katniss was sure that the woman would find a way to blame her sons for the yeast failing.

She let her hand drop from his shoulder to his hand, “How long ago did you start using those packets?”

“…couple days ago?”

“Then it was probably just the one. Don’t panic until you have to… don’t be like Graham.”

Peeta actually snorted at that, making Katniss feel successful, “He’s… not the best under pressure.”

“I noticed.” She laughed.

They fell into a comfortable silence, continuing their walk and then-

Peeta froze, quietly cursing.

“What?” Katniss followed his gaze, finding- “Oh.”

There, in between two stores, sat Haymitch, clearly passed out, head hung, chin against his chest, half slumped over.

They both stayed still for a moment before Peeta sighed heavily and went to get closer, kneeling down next to him.

“Be careful.” Katniss warned as she hurried to join him, “You’ve seen how he tends to wake up.”

“Pretty sure he’s not waking up anytime soon.” Peeta said under his breath, gently shaking Haymitch after checking he was breathing, “Smells like vomit.”

“Not surprising.”

After a moment of hesitation, Peeta grabbed one of his arms, going to lift Haymitch over his shoulder, the man groaning but not fully waking up.

“What are you doing?” She questioned.

Peeta half shrugged as he went to step out of the alleyway, “It’ll be night soon, we can’t just leave him out here.”

Katniss watched him for a long moment, Peeta meeting her gaze, unrelenting.

She groaned and rolled her eyes but picked up the coat Haymitch must’ve dropped in the alleyway and went to join Peeta on the walk towards the Victor’s Village.

“Sometimes you really are the worst.” Katniss said grumpily, at least entertained by the fact Haymitch got the sack potato treatment in how Peeta carried him.

“You and I both know you don’t really think that sweetheart.” Peeta teased.

She just rolled her eyes.

It didn’t take them too long to reach the Victor’s Village, Katniss going to grab the key from Haymitch’s coat pocket to open the door to his house.

Peeta deposited Haymitch on the couch, Katniss going to get a glass of water for when he woke up while Peeta managed to find a bucket under the sink to leave near him just in case, Katniss leaving the glass of water on the coffee table.

Then Katniss searched a few of the cupboards in the kitchen to see if she found-

Yes, there!

Peeta frowned at the tiny blue bottle she placed next to the glass of water.

“What is that?”

“Some kind of medicine that helps with the worst effects of hangovers, he rarely uses it for some reason but, he’s got it.”

Peeta nodded along before blowing a raspberry, “Welp, guess we’re done here.”

Katniss suddenly got an idea, going to grab his hand, “Hold on, follow me.”

Peeta half frowned, confused but letting her start to guide him, “Wait- should we-”

“Come on!” She hurried, suddenly giddy as she nearly ran down the hall, Peeta laughing as he followed, gently squeezing her hand.

She stopped before what she’d dubbed the music room, pushing the door open, exited to get to show Peeta the piano.

“Ta-da!” She opened the door, hurrying him inside, showing off the piano.

He grinned, “Wow… it really is beautiful.”

Katniss smiled, watching as Peeta carefully went to trace some of the carvings on the wood.

She went to sit down, carefully lifting the cover, “Wanna hear a tune?”

Peeta grinned, carefully leaning against the piano, “From you? Always.”

Katniss allowed her fingers to glide over the keys, letting herself play a cheery tune, the only one she was fully confident to play on the piano.

‘Ladybug, ladybug fly away home.

Your house is on fire, your children are gone.

All except one, who answers to Nan.

She’s hiding under the frying pan.’

“Isn’t this a nursery rhyme?” Peeta asked with a laugh, going to sit at her side, watching her hands fly over the keys, repeating the melody.

‘Ladybug, ladybug fly away home.

Your house is on fire, your children are gone.

All except one, who answers to Nan.

She’s hiding under the frying pan.’

She repeated the melody without words, adding a bit of a flare to end it.

“You’re good.” Peeta told her.

“Why thank you.”

Then the door open, Haymitch stumbling in, Katniss tensing up.

“What are you doing here?” He demanded, she suspected he must’ve taken the medicine to be on his feet so quickly.

She forced herself to relax, rolling her eyes as she started practicing a simple scale, “You were passed out in some alleyway and sunshine here,” she jerked her chin towards Peeta, “insisted we couldn’t leave you there. You’re welcome.”

Haymitch snarled, “I can take care of myself.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” She said between her teeth as she switched scales.

“The piano is very beautiful,” Peeta interjected, going to stand up, walking around the piano with his hands in his pockets, “Did you really order it from the Capitol?”

A vein in Haymitch’s forehead twitched, “Were else would I have gotten it?”

Peeta didn’t take the bait, just shrugging, “You didn’t look too sharp out there, just wanted to make sure you’d be alright.”

Haymitch laughed humorlessly, “I’d be careful if I were you boy… this world isn’t too kind to softness.” He said bitterly.

Peeta frowned.

Katniss went to stand up, “Is that some kind of threat?” She was already stepping forward, Peeta grabbing her wrist gently to stop her.

Haymitch rolled his eyes, “Ugh you’re too obvious sweetheart, it would be endearing if it weren’t so pathetic.”

Peeta stepped forward at that, “We’ll be heading home.” He said harshly, shoulder-checking Haymitch as they walked past him.

Once they were aside, he sighed heavily, shaking his head, “Do you have to deal with that every time you come over?” He asked.

She snorted, “You know, I think he might be warming up to me.”

They exchanged a glance, going to laugh, continuing to make their way back to the Seam.

***

It wasn’t too long after that that she found herself back in Haymitch’s house, having a glass of water in the kitchen, 

It wasn’t the best of days, for some reason since she’d woken up she’d felt… dread.

The Hunger Games were getting closer.

She found herself turning to Haymitch, who was pouring himself another glass of liquor.

She pressed her lips together, hesitating before-

“Do you know what they’ll do for the Quarter Quell?”

Haymitch froze mid pour, slowly looking up, “What?”

“Do you know… what they’ll do this year?” She knew he wasn’t likely to know, but she still had to ask.

He watched her for a long moment, “I haven’t the faintest clue.”

Katniss nodded along, looking down at her hands.

“…how many times will your name be in?” Haymitch didn’t look at her as he asked.

“…twenty-four times.”

“Your sister?”

“Just twice… I didn’t let her take out any tesserae.”

“Mmm… you’ll be fine kid.”

She didn’t answer to that.

Because he couldn’t know that.

She was sure someone must’ve reassured him that he’d be fine the year he’d been reaped.

She looked at him, “How many times was your name in? When you got reaped?”

He snorted humorlessly, “I didn’t get reaped.”

Katniss drew back at that, surprised, “What?”

He ignored her, going to take a drink.

She quickly stood up, stepping closer, “What do you mean by that?”

“It doesn’t matter-”

“Bullshit! You can’t just say something like that and not explain!”

He rolled his eyes, before his eyes returned to his liquor, “…you know the Chance family?”

“…I do.”

“One of them, Woodbine Chance was the last one reaped… the idiot ran… got shot…” he turned to her, raising his glass in mock toast, “I was the replacement.”

“…how did I not know that?”

“Oh the footage was edited.” He snorted, downing the drink, “The Capitol does that.”

“…why you?”

Haymitch glanced up at her, clenching his jaw as he poured himself another drink, “Ask Clerk Carmine.”

He went to return to his couch, leaving her confused and maybe even frightened.

They could just… take her? Even if she wasn’t reaped?

She shook her head, it hadn’t happened in all the years she’d been alive… she was sure it’d be fine.

Maybe if she repeated that to herself enough, she’d start to believe it.

She’d be paying Clerk Carmine a visit as soon as she left.

Chapter Text

Katniss was very much used to being the first in the family to get up.

So waking up to Prim jumping on her bed was the last thing she’d expected.

But it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

“Happy birthday!” Prim half sung, going to hug Katniss tightly.

She laughed, returning the hug, “Thanks duck.”

She slowly got up, rolling out of bed to head into the kitchen, having an early breakfast with Prim and her mom before heading to the woods.

Katniss took the long track to the lake, it was still early enough that the sun was barely rising so she sat down at the worn-out dock with all the tranquility in the world, setting up a fishing rod and taking out her journal, quietly writing and singing for the mockingjays in the trees, who happily took her melodies and made them their own.

She let herself lay down on the dock, looking up at the sky, taking it the quickly changing colors as the day fully emerged, her legs dangling off the wood, feet dipping in the water.

Katniss thought back to what she’d recently learned about Haymitch.

When demanding answers from Clerk Carmine, he’d explained that indeed, Haymitch hadn’t been reaped.

He’d been chosen for trying to protect Lenore Dove when she’d stepped in to try and stop Peacekeepers from killing or hurting Woodbine Chance’s grieving mother after he’d been shot.

That was an odd thing to learn, that Haymitch had been punished for trying to help Lenore Dove with a trip to the Hunger Games as a replacement for the Chance boy.

That before being a mean drunk he’d been a boy willing to risk getting shot to help the girl he loved.

In the time since that particular revelation, something had slightly changed between them, Katniss’s visits now included occasionally pausing to quietly eat or have a glass of water in the kitchen or the living room, lounging in an old plush chair while Haymitch stayed in his couch.

They didn’t speak a lot. But she did manage to learn a few things.

That his Arena had been filled to the brim with poison.

That Lenore Dove had been rebellious enough to paint over Capitol propaganda with orange nail polish.

That the Seam had respected her mom long before she’d married her dad.

Small bits and pieces that could be given with minimum pain.

But… something had shifted about two weeks prior, and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

She shook her head, she didn’t want to think about it today.

Katniss carefully left her guitar to the side as she sat up and got closer to the edge of the dock, looking down at the water where her feet dipped in.

It was a peaceful morning, the kind she was still getting used to having.

After a few hours there, Katniss started the path back home, fish carefully wrapped up and two rabbits she came across hanging from her belt.

At home, she changed into a mint green tiered dress with see-through long loose sleeves and light pink thread depicting small birds and snakes on the corset, letting Prim help her with her hair to give her a braided headband.

Once she was ready, she headed for the Meadow, finding Madge and Peeta were already there, Madge scrambling up from the picnic table and running over to hug her.

“Happy birthday!”

Katniss laughed, swaying in place with her, “Thanks Madge.”

Then she stepped back and turned to Peeta as he went to hug her as well, holding her against his chest as he straightened up, her feet leaving the ground for a moment.

“Happy birthday Katniss.”

She smiled against his shoulder before he carefully set her down, “Thanks Peeta.”

She sat down with them on the picnic blanket, it only took a few minutes for Delly and Thom to join them, Delly already apologizing for being a bit late, which Katniss dismissed easily.

They had a simple meal, lemonade made by Thom, a small bowl of blue berries and strawberries brought by Madge, baked fish Katniss’s mom had prepared, cheese buns Peeta had brought and bits of toffee and caramel brought by Delly.

They spoke of school, Hob performances and the last time they’d visited the woods just a few days prior, where Katniss had attempted to show Madge how to shoot with disastrous results.

It was fun.

Eventually, they pulled out the gifts Katniss had insisted they not get her, Katniss rolling her eyes but not resisting too much before succumbing to her fate.

Thom gave her one of his wooden carvings, this one a pretty mockingjay, she could tell he was just getting better and better with the detailing, she instantly loved the wooden bird, carefully tracing its wings.

Delly seemed thrilled as she gave her a gorgeous dark green velvet headband and a beautiful red ribbon.

Madge gifted her what she thought was too much but that Madge didn’t let her refuse, a brand new guitar case made of leather and dark green fabric.

Peeta had already told her the previous day that he’d wait before giving her his gift.

Thom clicked his tongue awkwardly, “Uh… Gale asked me to give you this.” He hesitantly offered a hunting knife with a leather sheath.

Katniss slowly took it. She knew Thom was still close to Gale, she actually appreciated that he never brought him up, either able to tell Katniss didn’t want to talk about him or having been told by Gale why they’d had a falling out.

She gave him a half smile, “Thanks.”

They ate the last of the strawberries for dessert, lounging as they laid down on the grass, Katniss playing random melodies on the guitar as they talked and joked around.

The afternoon slipped past and, once the sun started to dip across the sky, they went to pack up, Peeta quickly volunteering to walk her home.

Katniss sighed happily, letting her skirt swirl around her legs as she made her way down the small hill of the Meadow after hugging and thanking Thom, Delly and Madge, Peeta at her side carrying her picnic basket and the old guitar case, the new one slung over Katniss’s shoulder, her guitar safe inside.

“Did you have fun?” Peeta asked as he took her hand, intertwining their fingers.

She didn’t pull away, “Yes. I never thought I’d enjoy learning of the school drama so much but Delly and Thom have a gift to make it sound like the most important news ever.”

Peeta snorted, “I know.”

Katniss took a second to look down at their intertwined hands.

“Did you go to Haymitch’s in the morning?” He asked her.

“Nah. Didn’t feel like dealing with him today. I went to the woods for a bit to a… a spot I really like.” 

Katniss realized that… she wanted to tell Peeta about the lake, her most carefully guarded secret.

It hit her like an arrow shot straight through her heart.

The lake was almost a sanctuary to her, something sacred.

A safe place.

And… she wanted to share it with him, to see him sitting on the dock and sketching away leaning against the trees. 

She let her hand slip from his, panic swirling in her stomach as she went to adjust her hair to have an excuse to let go of him.

Katniss felt like kicking herself, she knew Madge kept trying to convince her that growing attached to Peeta wasn’t a bad thing. That wanting him wouldn’t somehow become the thing that destroyed her.

But years of being forced to fend for herself and then refusing to rely or need anyone gnawed at her, especially now, letting him walk her home and hold her things and break through her every defense to the point that for a split second she’d considered telling him of the lake.

Katniss shook her head as they arrived to the Seam, Peeta falling quiet, stealing glance towards her from time to time, perhaps sensing something had shifted.

As they reached her house, a part of her wanted to hurry inside and slam the door behind her before he could somehow charm her or knock down the walls she was currently trying to build back up.

But before she could force herself to do it, his fingers gently found her wrist to get her to face him, offering a nervous smile before reaching into his satchel.

“I uh… I haven’t given you your gift yet.” He pulled out two boxes, one smaller than the other, carefully handing them over, “I really hope you like them…”

Katniss observed the two boxes now in her arms, slowly lifting her eyes to meet his gaze, offering a small smile as she nodded along, “Thanks Peeta… goodnight.”

“…goodnight.”

She went inside, quietly shutting the door behind her, leaning against it as she tried to not instantly open the door again and tell him of the lake.

Katniss started for the kitchen, not even hearing her mom asking how the picnic had been, she set the two boxes on the table, her heart speeding up as she cautiously opened the smaller one.

A book bound with beige thick cloth to protect whatever the pages within contained.

She flipped it open and…

Oh.

It wasn’t a book… not quite.

They were… portraits.

On one page, a close up portrait done with charcoal, opposite that, a full body painting in color.

The girl on the first page had long wavy blonde hair and bright eyes, the painting on the right page depicted her on a stage, before a mic, maybe in her early twenties, with a dress Katniss recognized from her box, the off-white dress with embroidered ivy and blending shades of ivory, alabaster and beige.

At the bottom of the close up portrait that showed the girl at an earlier time in life, maybe thirteen, what Katniss already knew.

Maude Ivory.

She carefully turned the page.

Another close up portrait and full painting, a tall, rawboned man with dark skin and curly brown hair. The full painting showed him leaning back in a chair, playing the mandolin, eyes closed, all of him melancholic.

Tam Amber.

Another page, this one had a woman with long black hair in an elaborate braid, tan skin and grey eyes, the portrait having the handle of a bass, the painting showed her in the woods, head tilted back, as she looked up at the sky, wearing another one of her dresses, the one with embroidered raspberries.

Barb Azure.

Her grandmother.

Another page, a boy with a tortured look in his eyes in the portrait, his painting showing him with his back almost turned, holding a tune box.

Billy Taupe.

The next page had a familiar figure, an old man, in the portrait showed younger, with blonde hair. The painting was of him at the Hob, when he’d joined Katniss with his fiddle.

Clerk Carmine.

Another page.

A nameless page. A nameless girl.

Brown curly hair, grey knowing eyes and olive-skin.

In the portrait she held a guitar, a smile on her face as she performed, the full painting showed her standing in the woods, a snake in her hands, a mockingjay perched on her shoulder, wearing the rainbow ruffles Katniss herself was yet to touch.

It had to be Lucy Gray.

Peeta must’ve gone to Clerk Carmine for this project and, after describing the other Coveys, CC had decided to tell him about Lucy Gray, maybe not her name, certainly not her story, but that there’d been another Covey girl.

Katniss turned to the last page and… oh.

She knew instantly that the last page hadn’t been Peeta going to Clerk Carmine to be told what the Covey had looked like.

He’d gone to Haymitch for this one.

Lenore Dove’s portrait showed her with red curls decorated by a simple scrap of blue fabric and a simple white blouse, a contemplative look on her face as she looked at something in the distance.

Her painting showed her in the Meadow, surrounded by geese, half looking over her shoulder, wearing the red dress Katniss had been wearing the first time Haymitch talked to her. She almost looked like a bird about to take flight somehow.

Now she knew why he’d seemed to become more… melancholic the past two weeks, Peeta must’ve gone to him at some point to make the portrait and the painting.

She felt her throat trying to close up.

This… she couldn’t even begin to decipher how much this meant to her, a small book holding the faces of the lost Coveys.

She put the book to the side, trying to not let it get to her as she opened the second box.

It was a simple off-white dress, Katniss picked it up and-

Oh…

Oh.

Peeta had painted the dress.

At the bottom of the simple skirt, he’d painted a lagoon, surrounded by weeds and what she could tell were katniss roots and swimming in it, swans with closed eyes. At the side of the lagoon a willow, with branches that reached the top of the skirt and leaves that loomed over the water.

The top of the dress held flying birds, a mockingjay, a dove, a finch, a sparrow, a wren, a grosbeak and a cardinal.

The Coveys perhaps. 

A small robin in the branches of the willow Katniss knew was Prim.

It was-

“Oh it’s beautiful!” Prim said as she hurried to her side the second she saw the dress, “Did Peeta give it to you?”

She slowly nodded.

“Oh it’s perfect for you honey.” Her mom told her, placing a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently.

Katniss almost winced at that.

Because she was right, it was perfect.

And that was terrifying. It was terrifying to somehow be known so well.

But also…

It wasn’t something she wanted to let go of.

It wasn’t something she thought she could stomach truly pushing away.

She didn’t know what to do anymore.

***

Katniss played her heart out, fingers flying across keys as she let herself get lost in the music, her months of work letting her fully get wrapped up in her emotion, letting it all out on the piano.

She didn’t follow any specific song or tune, instead letting her feelings dictate the harsh, heavy melody.

She slammed the final note down, letting it drag on, her breathing slightly heavy as she kept letting it drag on.

Then-

“Well just what did the piano do to you?” Katniss didn’t bother to turn to where Haymitch was leaning against the doorframe.

She didn’t answer, instead going to stand up and nearly pushing past him, heading towards the kitchen.

“That bad?” He half teased as he followed her.

She poured herself a glass of water, taking a few sips before turning to face him, frowning, “When did he come here?”

She saw the tiniest flicker of recognition on his face, even as he went to act like he didn’t know or care, “When did who come here?”

“Peeta. The baker, when did he come here?”

“Why would you-”

“You told him how to paint Lenore Dove right?”

A muscle in Haymitch’s cheek twitched.

She glanced to the coffee table, seeing a canvas placed upside down on the only clean spot of the table.

She knew in an instant it was yet another painting of Lenore Dove. Maybe Haymitch had asked Peeta for one. Or, more likely, Peeta had just made an extra painting and left it there for him.

“When?”

He rolled his eyes, acting annoyed, “About two weeks ago.”

Katniss sighed, looking down at the water.

She knew it.

Haymitch frowned at the way she fidgeted with her hands, “What is it with you?”

She shook her head, “None of your business.”

Haymitch watched her for one more moment before laughing, “Oh… oh this is hilarious… you’re scared of the sentimental blonde-”

“I am not scared-”

“You are!” He cackled in her face, “Oh you look like you’re having a crisis sweetheart.”

She clenched her jaw as she shook her head, “You don’t know anything, so just shut up.”

He chuckled, taking a sip of liquor, letting them sit in silence for a minute before speaking again, “You could do a lot worse.”

She rolled her eyes, “I know that, you don’t think I know tha- this is none of your business.”

“Yeah well, you make it my business when you nearly break my piano over it.” He muttered under his breath, swirling the liquor in his glass before going to take a swig.

Before Katniss could answer, he grabbed another glass from one of the cupboards, pouring another glass of liquor and sliding it her way.

She stared at it for a moment before accepting it, going to take a swig much like he did and-

She coughed, “Oh that’s bitter.”

Haymitch laughed at her face as she half gagged and grimaced, “It’s an acquired taste… much like you.”

“Oh fuck off.” She said, but couldn’t help but laugh slightly.

Then… they were both laughing, Katniss shaking her head as she pushed the glass away, returning to her water.

***

Katniss sat in bed, journal resting against her knees, as she tried to think, candle burning on her nightstand.

“What are you thinking?” She almost jumped at the voice, looking to her mom’s bed to find Prim laying down, eyes open, watching her.

Katniss shrugged, “Just… thinking.”

Prim half frowned, carefully getting out of bed without waking their mom and going to crawl in next to her big sister, leaning against her shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

Prim pulled back to meet her eyes, “When you came back from your birthday you were… acting weird.”

Katniss sighed heavily, “I just… I’m trying to… figure out how I feel about…”

“About Peeta?”

Katniss looked down.

Prim reached out a hand, a silent question.

Katniss relented, letting her take the journal, eyes flying over half made verses and an almost nonsensical bridge. More word vomit than anything else.

“You’re not being entirely honest here.” She told her after a long minute inspecting the words.

“…I know.” Katniss whispered.

Prim took her hand, nuzzling closer to her side, “I know… I know you think you have to be strong alone… that maybe you don’t want to admit to wanting anything or anyone… I know you’re scared. But… don’t you think that maybe… this could be worth the risk?”

Katniss shut her eyes, resting back against her sister, “I… I don’t think I know how to want someone… I don’t know how to be soft for someone. I don’t know how to stop being afraid.”

Prim hummed, “You don’t have to stop being afraid… you just have to not let it control you.” She bumped into her gently, Katniss opening her eyes as her little sister placed the journal back into her hands, “Write the truth. Write what you don’t want to admit you want.”

Katniss slowly accepted the journal, Prim going to lay down at her side, shutting her eyes, probably able to tell that Katniss could only do this if she was on her own.

She looked down at the pages, at the ink and scratches and words.

Katniss dipped her pen into her ink pot… and then she started working.

***

Katniss was nervous.

She wore a light orange skirt with layers in darker shades of orange, a white loose blouse and her orange scarf as a headband.

And she was trying to convince herself to just get this over with.

She was not letting the fear get at her.

She knocked on the door.

Peeta opened the door, blinking in surprise and then smiling bright, “Katniss, hey.”

“Hey…” she took a breath, “is your mom working the books?”

“Uh… yeah. Why? I didn’t forget about a book session did I?” He straightened up, clearly unsure of why she was there.

She shook her head, “No I just… wanted to drop by… but if you’re busy-”

“No no! I’m just… working on some batches but you can come in.” He quickly stepped back, holding the door open.

She smiled slightly as she stepped in.

She thought he might’ve looked bashful yet somehow smug at the fact that she’d shown up just to… hang out.

Katniss observed the table Peeta had been working out, seeing the dough spread out, “What are you doing?”

“Just kneading some dough, after that I’m preparing some cookies.”

“Mmm.”

She tilted her head as he started working the dough.

“Did you uh… I haven’t gotten a chance to ask if you liked… the book and the dress.”

“I love them both.” She answered easily, glancing down as she fidgeted with her hands, “It… it means a lot, getting to know what the Coveys looked like… properly. Thanks… you must’ve been real persuasive for Clerk Carmine to describe everyone so throughly.”

He snorted, “It wasn’t that hard. He was… skeptical at first but when I told him it was for you… he relented a bit.” He hesitated, glancing up and down twice before speaking, “Do you know… what that last Covey’s name is? He said you’d know but that he wouldn’t tell me.”

She pressed her lips together, “It was the eldest of the Covey. She apparently vanished into thin air one day, much like her namesake. Clerk Carmine keeps saying he’ll tell me her story eventually but he seems convinced that it could be dangerous to know.” She stepped closer, leaning her back against the table, a few inches away from where he was working, “I’ll tell you her name… just not here. He really makes it feel like something forbidden.”

He smiled, “I appreciate your trust… where will you tell me?”

She considered.

She didn’t know that she was ready just yet to tell him of the lake, “To be determined.”

He snorted.

She let her eyes drop to the way his forearms flexed as he kneaded the dough expertly, letting the simmering in her stomach spread, for once not instantly chastising herself for it.

He caught her gaze, “You wanna try it?”

“…what?”

He smirked, “Come on, you’ve spent enough time back here, you could totally knead.”

“I really don’t think-”

“What? You think it’d be too hard for you?”

She grinned.

Damn him.

He knew just how to push her buttons.

She hip-checked him out of the way, hesitating before going to try and imitate his movements, getting her hands into the dough and-

Oh. 

Oh she was doing this so wrong.

Peeta just watched for a long moment, clearly amused.

Katniss could feel herself blushing, “This- how do you do this?”

“The trick is using the heel of your palm. You use your heel to push into the center of the dough, you stretch it away from you, then you lift the dough up a bit and fold it back towards you to reform a ball of dough. Rinse and repeat.”

She stared for a moment.

Then she rolled her eyes and looked down at the dough, trying to follow what he’d said.

She nearly dragged the dough out of the table and almost falling to the floor-

Peeta laughed.

She felt herself burning even as she was barely containing her own laughter, “Are you making fun of me?”

“Of course not. Though, that dough seems to be trying to get away from you-”

“I’m leaving.”

“No no no- wait.” As Katniss jokingly went to leave, he gently grabbed her waist, dragging her back, “Here, let me show you.”

She turned back, watching as Peeta gave her a slow demonstration on how to knead the dough, taking a step back to let her try.

Katniss winced as she tried once more to imitate him.

He gently shook his head, “You’re not using enough strength… here.” He went to step behind her, her breath catching in her throat as his arms surrounded her, his chest almost touching her back and smothering her in his heat as his hands fell over her own, guiding her to expand her right hand and use the heel of her palm fully against the dough, “You gotta put your back into it.” He spoke, his breath hitting her hair and the skin of her ear, nearly making her shiver.

Katniss swallowed, “Like this?”

“Yeah, a bit better, now we stretch it up and fold it back.” His voice was gentle, almost like he was doing his best to not scare her away. The fact that he was all but whispering against the ear was doing… things… to her brain.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, at some point, Katniss gave up on trying to knead properly, letting her hands slip out from under his to the edge of the table. But when he didn’t step back and kept working with his arms around her, she didn’t complain nor did she try to escape the cage of his arms.

His breath and lips kept brushing against her ear, the air itself seeming to shift around them, something more vulnerable than mere desire settling over them.

Katniss dared to lean back against his chest, Peeta responding by stepping closer, fully pressing up against her.

The fear was trying to creep in with the knowledge that this… this feeling in her chest and her gut and in her veins, might just have the power to destroy her.

This she might not survive if it went wrong.

But… what if it didn’t go wrong?

What if she didn’t just let herself want? What if she let herself do something about it? What if she let him do something about it?

His hands slowed down, picking up and setting aside the dough, she could only assume it was ready, picking up a towel to hand to her, picking up another for his own hands.

He still didn’t step back.

One of his hands landed back on the table, the other gently finding her hip.

Then his forehead found the back of her head, leaning against her slightly.

They stayed like that for a long minute. And, once the fear passed… she felt safe, she felt like she’d found something she hadn’t known she’d been looking for.

“Do you wanna help me with the cookies?” He said against her hair.

She nodded.

They didn’t move.

Finally, she took the hand on her hip, slowly turning around, so close she had to tilt her head up to look at him, “Do you have to roll out the batter?”

He nodded, watching her with an intense look in his eyes, his voice almost raw, “Yes, you can use the cookie cutters after I roll the batter.”

This time she nodded.

He clenched his jaw and, in a move that might’ve been made of restraint he took a step back.

It was then that she began to suspect something.

That Peeta wouldn’t risk making her uncomfortable. He wouldn’t risk overstepping.

Not when he wasn’t absolutely sure about Katniss’s feelings… and how could he know?

She shut her eyes as he went to grab the cookie batter, thinking back to… the song.

Maybe… just maybe… she would perform it at the Hob after all.

***

Katniss carefully smoothed out her skirt as her audience cheered at the end of Nothing You Can Take From Me.

She’d put on her new dress, it felt like being wrapped up in history and the most truthful parts of herself.

Her eyes were drawn to the bottom of her skirt, to some of the detailing around the lagoon and the willow tree.

To the katniss roots and the dandelions there.

She wondered if Peeta somehow just… knew that she could never see dandelions without thinking of him. 

She glanced to Prim, who still had her fiddle resting against her shoulder, watching her, a tiny smile on her lips a knowing and excited glimmer in her eyes.

She thought back to the last time she’d gone to the bakery a few days prior. The intimacy she’d felt with him pressed against her just… there.

She wanted to tell him about the lake.

She- she wanted him.

And she wanted him to want her. Wanted him to know she wanted him.

It terrified her… but the fear didn’t stop the wanting. 

And the fear no longer overpowered the yearning in her chest.

She gave Prim a subtle nod before turning back to the mic and the audience, “Alright everyone! I have one last song for you tonight… this is a new one. This one is also… different. This is… Let It Happen.”

Almost everyone applauded, Katniss smiling to herself, feeling herself blush and nerves starting to make knots in her stomach as she allowed her eyes to quickly pass through the audience, catching sight of Delly near the front side by side with Thom, Madge further back, sitting on her own… and Peeta, sitting with his brothers.

‘No, I know. 

I’m a walking contradiction and it shows.

Got a history of being in control.

I’m aware that I could end up here alone.’

She didn’t allow her eyes to stray from her guitar strings as the song began with simple chords.

‘But then we spoke.

I had a backbone made of glass, and then it broke.

Now I stay up going over every glance.

If you’re ready, all I mean is we could go.’

She glanced to Prim, who was getting ready to pluck the strings of her fiddle, giving her an encouraging nod.

‘And I never craved anyone’s attention.

Up until yours thought I should mention that.’

She shut her eyes as the chorus started.

‘I’d bet all my money that I will lose to you and hand you my life.

Here’s to hoping you’re worth all my time.

I might barely know you but still, don’t love you yet but probably will.

Turn me into something tragic, just for you, I’d let it happen.

…I’d let it happen.’

She opened her eyes, her gaze finding Clerk Carmine, watching her with a knowing look in his eyes, able to tell they were both thinking about what he’d said about Coveys in love.

‘But it’s fine.

Cause I just force it all down half the time.

Don’t like the context, so I’ve made up all these lies.

It’s just the only thing that helps me sleep at night.

Mmm-mmm.’

Prim started plucking at her fiddle, carefully joining in and adding to the melody.

‘But now I’m looking in the mirror.

You made me a romantic, I can’t believe I have to be her.’

She let her eyes drift over the audience, watching as they started swaying.

‘I’d bet all my money that I will lose to you and hand you my life.

Here’s to hoping you’re worth all my time.

I might barely know you but still, don’t love you yet but probably will.

Turn me into something tragic, just for you, I’ll let it happen.’

She shut her eyes for a moment, fully allowing herself to get lost in the song as she prepared herself for the bridge, perhaps the most vulnerable thing she’d written so far.

‘I’ll let it happen.

I’ll let it happen.

I’ll let it happen.

I’ll let it happen.’

She drifted her fingers over her guitar, letting her melody become more complex.

‘You could turn all my skies to pouring rain.

Lock me out my heart for good.

How is it you see me? Now I’m reeling, and I might-

Break the windows let myself back in.

Lost it for a minute there.

Get my shit together, it’s whatever, but I could die!’

Her emotions were pouring out, strumming personal and every word filled to the brim with all her confusion and fear and want and yearning.

‘Knowing that you’re probably out somewhere!

While I’m in my underwear.

Writing through my feelings, I’m still reeling, but it’s fine.

Oh, thank god that you’re not seeing this.

I’ll spare you from everything.

If you would actually have me, just know I’ll be waiting, all my life.’

A pause. A moment to let it all sink into the air.

Katniss couldn’t help but chuckle slightly and turn away from the mic at the way she let herself get carried away.

Then she started right back up Prim joining in, the two girls starting the next chorus together, Katniss letting Prim fully take over the chorus after the first line to add more lines.

‘I’d bet all my money that I will lose to you and hand you my life.

Here’s to hoping you’re worth all my time (I hope you’re worth my time~).

I might barely know you (but don’t I?) but still, don’t love you yet but probably will (I will!).

Turn me into something tragic, just for you, I’m letting it happen (I’m letting it happen~).’

For the final chorus, she was almost surprised that the Hob was already singing along with Prim, smiling as she let herself use the full extent of her voice, her eyes catching a blue awed gaze, unable to look away.

‘I’d bet all my money that I will lose to you and hand you my life.

Here’s to hoping you’re worth all my time (I hope you’re worth my time~).

I might barely know you (but I do!) but still, don’t love you yet but probably will (I do!).

Turn me into something tragic, just for you, I let it happen (I let it happen~).’

She still didn’t look away as she and Prim sang the outro.

‘(Whatever happens, I’m letting it) I let it happen.

(Whatever happens, I’m letting it) I let it happen.

(Whatever happens, I’m letting it) I let it happen.

(I’m letting it, I’m let it) I let it happen.’

The Hob seemed to implode in applause, people whooping and whistling and giving them a standing ovation, Katniss feeling herself burn as the realization set in that she might as well just stripped down in front of the Hob for how vulnerable she’d just allowed herself to be.

But before the panic could set in, Prim’s hand slipped into her own as she leaned into the mic.

“Please give it up for Willow Swan!”

The applause somehow became louder and Katniss couldn’t help but smile.

Maybe she’d just poured and vomited her heart up on the floor, but they’d loved it.

Maybe… maybe it was alright then.

She allowed herself eyes to be drawn back to Peeta, who was slowly clapping, awe in his gaze as he gave her a gentle almost bashful smile.

She returned the smile, feeling her blush deepen.

They had to talk… and yes… the thought terrified her… but a part of her was excited for it.

Because now… now he knew.

Chapter Text

Katniss strummed at the mandolin as she sat on the back porch, thinking.

“I see you have most of the basic chords down.” Clerk Carmine said as he went to join her on his back porch, sitting down slowly.

“Thought it was about time. I know I’ve been focusing a bit more on the tune box and the piano but… I like the mandolin.”

“I’m glad kid.”

She turned to him, biting the inside of her cheek as she hesitated before speaking, “Will you tell me now?”

It’d been a minute since she’d asked that question.

She was starting to get impatient.

She wanted to know the story of Lucy Gray.

Clerk Carmine let his head drop and she knew that today wasn’t the day.

“After the Games. I’ll tell you after the Games.”

Katniss wanted to snap for a moment, to remind him that there were more than twenty slips with her name on them and that she might be reaped, but she contained herself.

Because at least this time he’d given her an actual time instead of just saying ‘not now’.

“Fine. I’ll hold you to that.”

“I’m well aware. Now, this is the last vocal exercise I know of, so pay attention.”

***

Katniss walked through the merchant square, having just wrapped up a performance for a merchant wedding, the dress she’d chosen might’ve been one of her favorites, dark blue and indigo tones blending together in the long skirt and corset.

She’d been all but begged to play Let It Happen, she was starting to regret playing it in the Hob.

She’d only played it once but she could still hear a few traders and even Peacekeepers humming it under their breaths days later!

Madge, who she’d come across and was now walking with her, their arms linked, “What’s on your mind?”

She shrugged, “Nothing much.”

“…how long are you going to avoid Peeta?”

“I have not been-” she cut herself off, willing herself to lower her voice, “I have not been avoiding him, I just… haven’t had a chance to talk to him that’s all.”

Madge watched her for a long moment, “Well then, if that is the case, you won’t mind if we make a quick stop by the bakery will you? I’m craving a treat and my mom is having one of her bad days, she could use something sweet.”

She gritted her teeth together, “Of course I don’t mind… I hope it isn’t bad?”

Madge sighed, “I think… I think the announcement of the Quarter Quell coming up is getting to her a bit… this time of the year in general just isn’t the best for her.”

Katniss gently squeezed her hand, “Sorry… if you need anything, you know I’m right here.”

Madge smiled, gently leaning her head against her shoulder, “Thanks. Has… has Haymitch seemed worse than usual?”

“Define worse.” Katniss sighed, “He’s… alright I guess… bit more petulant but honestly that’s just normal for him. I think… I think the piano helps a bit. But he’s been… melancholic and moody, but I think that might be more because of the painting thing.”

“What painting thing?”

Madge already knew of Peeta’s gifts, what Katniss hadn’t told her, that she explained now, was that he’d gone to Haymitch for Lenore Dove’s portrait and painting and that, if she wasn’t wrong about the canvas that seemed to now live on the coffee table, that he’d made an extra painting for Haymitch.

Madge sighed, “Oh… that’s… oh.”

“Yeah.”

“…he just… cooperated?”

“Oh I’m sure he must’ve screamed at Peeta plenty before somehow being persuaded and agreeing. I think Peeta could get anyone to do anything with enough time.”

Madge patted her arm empathetically even as she grinned wickedly, “I hate to break it to you, but I think that’s just you.” 

“Oh shut up-” Katniss shoved at her playfully, the two laughing as they pushed and shoved, nearly falling over as they kept walking.

It only took a few more minutes before they were reaching the bakery.

Madge pushed the door open with all the ease in the world, smiling at Graham, who stood behind the counter, “Hi!”

He returned an easy smile, “Hey what’s-” he caught sight of Katniss coming in behind Madge and grinned wickedly, leaning on the counter, “Hey Katniss, can’t remember the last time you came in through the front door.” He teased, slightly raising his voice, casting an amused glance to the doorway that led to the back room.

Katniss rolled her eyes, “Hey Graham.”

He snorted to himself and clapped, “What can I get you ladies? Just- reminder Kat, unfortunately, the annoying little shit isn’t for sale, trust me, I’d give him away free if I could but we need him for the labor.”

Katniss felt herself blush, Madge trying to hide a smile as she stepped up to the counter, “I actually wanted to drop by, pick up a treat for my mom.”

“Oh, her head bothering her again?” Graham asked, becoming slightly more serious, this was clearly not the first time Madge had stopped by for her mom, going to point out to some of the trays holding breads, “We have some scones, almond croissants, that apple muffin you said she liked the other day and we even managed to get some cinnamon so there’s also some cinnamon rolls.”

“Oh! Then I’ll have a cinnamon roll and a muffin please.”

Graham nodded, already going to grab a paper bag, “Coming right up!” Then he cast Katniss a glance before he leaned slightly back to yell towards the back room, “Peeta! Those cheese buns outta the oven yet?! Our unpaid cashier is here!”

Katniss rolled her eyes as Madge snorted and a faint ‘No!’ Came from the back room, “I’m good Graham.”

“Oh no- you gotta take something to go.”

“For once he’s right.” Peeta emerged from the back room with a small smile, setting into place a tray with fresh outta the over cinnamon rolls, one of which Graham added to Madge’s bag, going to quietly charge her while Peeta went to lean on the counter directly in front of Katniss, “Or are you still on a mission to somehow survive solely off of cheese buns?”

She chuckled as she shook her head, “Hey- you’re the one that keeps me stocked up! You don’t get to tease me about that!”

He jokingly raised his hands in surrender, “Alright alright, my apologies. Here,” he placed a cinnamon roll in the bag, going to hand it to her, “no cheese buns today unfortunately, but I think you’ll like it.”

Katniss hesitated, “I feel like I’m leaching off you, you already give me too much free stuff.”

“I don’t give you free stuff. The cheese buns are for your Hob performances, I’ve given you like- one or two bread rolls when we hung out in the back and now this roll for your help the other day.”

Katniss scrunched up her nose, “Well when you put it like that… I suppose I can accept.”

“Yeah, just… let it happen.” Graham said even as he didn’t take his eyes off the money he was counting, a shit-eating smirk tugging at his lip.

Katniss felt herself furiously blush, Peeta sighing and shaking his head in a way that let her know this was not the first time Graham had used her song to tease.

Madge gently swatted at him, “Hey, could you tell me a bit more about those bread rolls over there?” Katniss quietly thanked her in her mind as Graham let his attention be taken from them.

Peeta went to rub the back of his neck nervously before clearing his throat and lowering his voice, “Hey… would you like to… meet up in the Meadow tomorrow after class? I have the day off.”

She took a breath, suddenly as nervous as him, “Uhhh yes, of course.”

“Okay… I’ll see you then.”

Katniss ducked her head as she and Madge went to leave, Madge barely able to contain a smile.

But as they reached the door, she heard Graham clap Peeta’s back and say, “You’d better be on time tomorrow, wouldn’t want to keep her waiting… all her life.”

She didn’t need to turn around to know that the yelp that followed was Peeta shoving his brother hard enough for him to tumble to the ground.

Madge burst out laughing as soon as they made it to the end of the block

Katniss couldn’t help but follow suit.

“You two are hopeless.” Madge said once she managed to calm down a bit.

Katniss sighed, “Yeah… I know.”

***

Katniss tried her best to keep her cool and act like it was any other day.

Like she wasn’t possibly headed straight towards demise and heartbreak.

She considered the possibility that Madge was right about her being gloomy and a pessimist, in Katniss’s defense, she felt she was more cautious and realistic than anything else.

Katniss fidgeted with the sleeves of her dress. She’d opted for one with a jade green ruffled skirt that opened at her knees and fell to the ankles at the back, the top being a ribbon corset connected to long translucent sleeves the same jade tone.

She felt safe wrapped up in green.

Katniss made her way to the Meadow, for once, she didn’t drag an instrument along, she felt strangely exposed without her guitar slung over her back or her tune box resting against her hip.

Reaching the Meadow, she saw that Peeta was already there, sitting on top of a thin blanket, waiting.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Then he turned and lit up when he saw her, she couldn’t help but return his smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Hi.”

“Hey Katniss… bit weird seeing you in a dress without an instrument.”

“I know.” She went to sit down in front of him, taking a moment to adjust her skirt around her just to have something to do before meeting his eyes, “Bannock and Graham didn’t try to steal your day off?”

He snorted, “For the first time ever, no. Bannock practically shoved me out the door.”

Katniss chuckled, Prim had had a similar reaction.

“Did you like the cinnamon roll?” He asked.

“Yes, it was very sweet, Prim adored it… how’d you make that one?”

They spent a while quietly chatting, Peeta explaining the recipe to a few baked goods as Katniss listened and they munched on a few berries.

She liked listening to him whenever he talked about the bakery and the breads he prepared, the passion in his voice and explanations always made her feel relaxed and lighter.

At some point, Peeta slowed down in his chatter, watching her, slowly tilting his head as he seemed to consider something.

She swallowed, looking down at the small bowl of berries, “What?”

“I just… thought back to something.”

“To what?”

“…your song.” He didn’t have to specify which one, she felt herself tense up, “It was beautiful… but you know it also felt… very vulnerable… and real… must’ve taken a lot of guts to sing it in front of everyone.”

She licked her lips, eyes still glued to the berries, “It did… it was honestly a… an impulsive decision, I wasn’t sure if I was going to sing it or not but… I just decided to go for it.”

“Mmm… you know I thought that might be it… or I thought maybe… some songs that you’ve done… they feel so true that… they just have to be sung… you know?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, “I know… I think that song is similar.”

She could hear him drag in a shaky breath, then he was shifting, carefully getting closer, waiting to see if she’d pull away.

She didn’t.

Katniss finally met his gaze when his hand entered her field of vision, his fingertips just barely grazed her face as he traced one of her waterfall braids, letting his thumb run over the plaits at the end, his eyes following the path of the braid.

The question that’d been burning in the pit of her stomach and haunting every single interaction they’d had and that had been in the back of her mind for years slipped out before she even realized it.

“Why did you give me the bread? That day in the rain… why?”

She saw the easy recognition in his eyes, knowing exactly what she spoke of, she knew he was also remembering the coldness in the air and the black crust of the bread and the pigs snorting and the hit that had sounded out when he’d dropped the loaves into the oven.

She wondered how he saw her in his mind’s eye.

She remembered seeing him through the window after hearing his mother’s shouts. Remembered him appearing in the doorway like a beam of light in the rain, glancing around before throwing the bread and vanishing in an instant.

Did he remember her as a trembling scared girl in the rain? Or what was she in that memory?

He gave a tiny shrug, letting go of her braid, “Because you needed it.” Like it was that simple. Like it was the only thing he could’ve possibly done, the only logical thing to do.

“…she hit you for burning those loaves.”

The slightest wince at the mention of his mother, but he still held her gaze, “It was worth it.”

Was that confirmation that he’d done it on purpose? Even knowing what would happen?

“No it wasn’t. You- we didn’t even know each other… why did you do it?”

Peeta looked down for a moment, going to take her hand, his attention shifting to her hand as he gently traced the callouses formed over years of handling her bow and the newer ones from her guitar.

“I think I told you once… that I remember our very first day of school… when you sang the Valley Song for everyone and the birds outside went quiet. I guess I… kept an eye on you since then… and that night… you needed someone… anyone… and I had the chance to help… so I did.”

“…but you knew she’d…” she trailed off.

He met her eyes, giving her a gentle smile, “It wasn’t a hard choice to make. I told you… it was worth it.”

Katniss leaned forward, closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his, unsure of what she was doing but knowing she needed to kiss him.

He gasped against her before quickly reciprocating the kiss. 

It comforted her a little to very quickly realize that neither knew what to do, Katniss reaching out to cup his face as they figured out a gentle rhythm, Peeta carefully reached for her waist, pulling her closer, an arm wrapping around her waist as he deepened the kiss, his other hand finding the back of her head, tangling softly in her hair.

Her heart skipped several beats as she fully wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he tentatively traced the seam of her lips with his tongue, Katniss letting him in, needing a second to adjust to the sensation before daring to gently bite at his bottom lip.

Peeta groaned against her mouth, fully pulling her into his lap, her thighs falling over his legs, the arm around her waist supporting her weight as he dipped her back, Katniss letting her fingers tangle in his curls, gasping when he went to lay soft kisses over her cheek and down her jawline, her head dropping back on instinct, giving him more space.

He slowed down as he reached her neck, going to rest his forehead against her collarbone for a long moment before drawing back, going to meet her eyes.

She felt herself blush furiously as he smiled bright at her, going to hide her face against his neck, Peeta laughing, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against her back.

“You alright?”

“Mm-mmh.”

“…was that alright?” He asked, his voice taking on an edge of vulnerability.

She pulled back, cupping his face again, daring to meet his gaze, “Yes. It was.”

He smirked slowly, “You kissed me.”

She felt her blush returning, “Shut up.”

“You kissed me.” He half-sung, clearly delighted in that fact.

“If you keep teasing me I’ll-”

He interrupted her with another kiss, dipping her back again, Katniss unable to do anything but return the kiss with equal fervor.

Because this- this was like finally seeing sunshine after a lifetime of winter.

This was what finally reigned in the hunger that’d been growing in the pit of her stomach for months.

Well… partially. 

She wasn’t quite sure if she was just starting to feel a whole new kind of hunger.

They pulled back only once they were out of breath, Peeta going to lean their foreheads together, cupping her face, gently tracing her cheekbone.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He whispered, breath against her lips.

She half grinned, “Apparently since we started school. That is a long while.”

He sighed, shaking his head with a small smile, “Don’t be like that-”

“You’re saying no other girl ever grabbed your attention?” She questioned in a teasing tone, letting one of his curls get caught between her fingers.

He snorted, before getting serious, “Never for long… never like you.”

She took in a slow breath, taken aback by the sincerity in his voice, “That’s… a lot.”

“…I know.” He glanced down, “But it’s also the truth.”

She shut her eyes as she leaned her forehead against his, taking a moment to just feel the path his fingertips took over her cheekbones and the side of her waist.

After a while, she found herself leaning back against his chest, his legs on either side of her, his arms holding her, chin resting against the top of her head.

She suddenly felt something like panic or fear take ahold of her at the realization of just how safe she felt, of just how much she wanted him…

Just how much she had to lose all of a sudden.

“I don’t… I don’t think I know how to be soft.” She quietly confessed, holding on to his arms, biting the inside of her cheek, “I don’t… I don’t think I know how to make… this… easy.”

He stayed quiet for a second before his fingertips took hooked to her chin, carefully getting her to tilt her head so he could press a soft kiss against her lips, “I don’t want easy Katniss… I just want you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her breath caught in her throat, leaning up to kiss him again.

Somehow, she found she believed him, that even if her heart and her love was confusing or difficult… he’d still stay.

She settled comfortably against him, her mind drifting to a half finished song in one of her journals.

***

There was a song that’d been tugging at the back of her mind.

Not really, just a verse and a half that had been amongst what she now knew to be Lucy Gray’s journal, perhaps one of the last songs she’d worked on before vanishing.

One that had been continued but not finished by Lenore Dove if the lyrics showing up again in her journal with a pre-chorus and a chorus were anything to go by.

Katniss had finished it after her day in the Meadow with Peeta, after they’d parted with a kiss to her knuckles and him gently asking with a sparkle in his eyes if he could finally tell his brothers that she was his girl.

She stood in the Hob yet again, Prim practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement.

She wore Lenore Dove’s old red dress and the old orange scarf was wrapped around her wrist.

Katniss sighed as she went to speak into the mic once the crowd had calmed down a bit after Prim’s rendition of Oh My Darling, Clementine.

“Alright people! This is a song that went through plenty of hands before finally being completed… this… is Vermillion.”

Prim started plucking at the strings of her fiddle as Katniss took a deep breath to sing what had been perhaps one of the last verses Lucy Gray had ever written.

‘Show me what you do in the dark.

Oh, believe me

My love is only fatal when I fall this hard.

Oh, our fate’s decided.’

Then, the part Katniss had added, that felt true to what both past Covey girls had meant for the song to convey.

‘Why don’t I see you running?

Why don’t I see you run?

Don’t you bleed all your colors for me.’

And then, the pre-chorus and chorus Lenore Dove had added.

‘When all of my love.

Isn’t enough to keep you safe, you still stayed.’

‘Promise you’ll catch me.

Promise you’ll catch me when I fall, into you.

As long as you let me.

Oh, I’ll hold you till the end.

When it’s all vermillion.’

Katniss took a tiny pause before continuing with the second part Lucy Gray had written.

‘I don’t want to tear you apart.

Don’t release me.

I, never meant to open a hole in your heart.

Go to sleep in silence.

Baby, I feel you fading.

Hold me with all of your strength.’

Her eyes found Peeta, who had a small smile on his face. She’d talked to him about this song when she’d visited the bakery in the week, about how it both felt weird but right to finish it.

‘Don’t you bleed all your colors for me.

When all of my love.

Wasn’t enough to keep you safe, you still stayed.’

She felt a particular gaze on her, finding Haymitch at the very back of the Hob.

It’d been a while since he’d come to one of her performances.

‘Promise you’ll catch me.

Promise you’ll catch me when I fall, into you.

As long as you let me.

Oh, I’ll hold you till the end.

When it’s all vermillion.’

Then, the bridge. Both journals had contained brainstorming and random lyrics, both girls clearly searching for the right words.

Katniss had taken a bit from both journals and added some stuff of her own.

‘Lead you home.

Let me lead you home.

Let you rest your bones.

Where they lay.

Your soul to take.’

She shut her eyes, fully letting herself get lost in the melody.

‘Promise you’ll catch me.

Promise you’ll catch me when I fall, into you.

As long as you let me.

Oh, I’ll hold you till the end.

When it’s all vermillion.’

Prim joined her for the ending, trading lines and ad-libs.

‘Promise you’ll catch me (catch me).

Promise you’ll catch me when I fall, into you.

As long as you let me (as long as you let me, let me)

Oh, I’ll hold you till the end (the end)

When it’s all vermillion.’

The end of the song felt just the tiniest bit abrupt.

But it felt appropriate given two previous songwriters had left the sung cut off, doomed to be unfinished and forgotten until Katniss had felt comfortable enough to take the words that hadn’t been touched in decades and try to breathe life into them again.

She smiled at the applause and gave a slow bow. 

She caught sight of Clerk Carmine near the front, she could tell by the recognition and vague melancholy in his eyes that he’d heard at least one version of the song, he gently nodded his approval at what she’d chosen to do with it.

“Now how about one you all know? This is, Nothing You Can Take From Me!”

She fell into the song, spinning and letting her skirt flare out and singing her heart out.

She felt like past ghosts had been appeased that night.

At least a little bit.

Chapter Text

Katniss tilted her head as she watched Gale working at one of the traps she’d set up the day prior.

His fingers were clumsy, in a way they weren’t supposed to be. In a way that they’d never been before.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked as she leaned back against one of the trees.

Gale sighed, “Nothing. I just didn’t sleep well.”

Katniss considered just dropping it.

But the truth was… well she was worried about him.

There was something different. She could tell, but for the first time ever, she didn’t know what it was.

So she went to stand in front of him, raising an eyebrow.

Gale looked down, “I had my first week in the mines.”

“What?!” She drew back in surprise, “I thought- I thought you weren’t going to start until you were done with school.”

“Plans change.” He sighed heavily, “The kids are getting older Catnip… hunting isn’t enough anymore. I’m not full time yet but… I will be soon.”

She didn’t correct him on calling her Catnip for once, “I wish you’d told me.”

He shrugged, avoiding her eyes, “Didn’t think you’d want to know. And… I didn’t think you’d like hearing anything about the mines.”

She winced at that, remembering her… panic attack… from their visit to the mines, “How are you holding up?”

“I’m still getting used to it.” He said quietly, inspecting the hunting knife in his hand just for something to do, “It’s… tiring. But alright I suppose. Though I barely have time for anything that isn’t work or hunting.”

Katniss bit the inside of her cheek. 

For a moment, it was like all his fire had gone out, replaced by exhaustion and… well… hopelessness.

She gently pushed his shoulder, “Come on, we got enough for the day.”

He didn’t argue with her and they headed to the Hob together, like they hadn’t done in a long while.

They made their trades together, Gale not questioning her decision to let them hang out a little longer, asking about Prim after Katniss had asked about Rory and his other siblings.

“She’s starting to get the hang of the bass, which is basically a bigger version of the fiddle… apparently it was our grandmother’s instrument so she’s very thrilled to be learning to play it.”

“That’s good.”

Once they were done with the Hob, Katniss glared at him as he went to leave, “Where are you going?”

He frowned, “Home?”

Katniss considered him for a moment before speaking, “I’m going over to Madge’s to help her with some stuff, you mentioned you were struggling with a history essay right? She could probably help, if you wanna drop by… we’ll probably be there for about three hours.”

He inspected her for a long moment, perhaps trying to determine if her invitation and olive branch was born out of pity.

She rolled her eyes, “Just think on it.” She told him before heading off, not waiting for an answer.

An hour later, Madge was watching her as they stood in her kitchen, with a lot more space than Katniss’s.

Katniss raised an eyebrow, “What?”

Madge shrugged, “Nothing I just… I’m surprised you invited him.”

She sighed, “I just… I don’t know, I’m not even mad at him anymore and… he just didn’t look like himself.”

“Hey, I’m not saying you need to justify it. You two were friends for a long time, it’s completely normal to still worry about him.”

“Yeah well, doubt he’ll show up regardless, so…”

And of course, as though he’d been summoned, a hesitant knock came at the kitchen door, Madge going to open it.

“Hi Gale.”

“Hey Madge, I hope you don’t mind if I crash your party for a bit?”

Madge snorted as she stepped aside, “Not sure I’d call it a party.”

Katniss saw the surprise Gale tried to hide as he stepped in, whatever he’d expected to find them doing, it probably wasn’t making a mess out of the kitchen as they tried to cook a few things.

She might’ve told him she was helping Madge out with some stuff but in reality… it was very much the other way around.

“Now, Katniss told me something about some history essay?” Madge started, going to check on the potatoes currently boiling on the stove as Katniss finished chopping off the butts of the asparagus she’d gotten at the Hob, which Gale had raised an eyebrow at but hadn’t questioned.

“Oh yeah, about ‘the treacherous betrayal of Twelve to the Capitol during the Dark Days’.” He said in a tone that made it clear part of the reason he was struggling was because he had to depict Twelve as the villains in his essay.

Katniss grimaced in sympathy as she prepped a pan, but Madge didn’t miss a beat as she went to strain the potatoes, “Mmm, you can always talk more about the impact than the ‘betrayal’ itself I’ll give you a quick intro about how the lack of coal affected the Capitol’s ability to fight back due to lack of transportation means. You can tell me what you think and then we can start actually writing everything down.”

Gale nodded along, clearly relieved that Madge had a way of writing the essay without accidentally slipping and going on a rant about the Capitol, like Gale might’ve done otherwise.

As Madge proposed a potential introduction and they traded ideas for the rest of the essay, Madge started mashing up the boiled potatoes, while Katniss started roasting the asparagus with olive oil, salt, pepper and a tiny bit of garlic, going to start preparing the ingredients for a sauce, frowning at the honey and molasses she’d gotten earlier in the week.

“Are you sure about this recipe?” She asked.

Madge rolled her eyes, “Don’t you trust me? It’ll be great!”

Gale finally gave in to his curiosity, glancing between the bits of mashed potato Madge was setting up on a try, the pan with the asparagus and the ingredients Katniss had laid out before her, “What… what exactly are you doing?”

Madge grinned as she turned to her, “What are we doing Katniss?”

She glared her way, but Madge didn’t back down, her grin just growing.

Katniss sighed.

She may not have fully thought this through.

She didn’t look up at Gale as she started pouring just enough honey into a saucepan, “I have a picnic with Peeta tomorrow.”

“And she really wanted to prepare a little something.” Madge finished for her in a teasing tone. 

Katniss didn’t bother to reply.

Gale stayed quiet for a second before speaking, “And you went with… asparagus?”

Katniss switched to glare at him as Madge swatted at his arm, “Hey- roasted asparagus is delicious!”

He raised his hands in surrender and apology.

Gale quickly switched the subject back to his essay, which Katniss was grateful for.

She gave an idea or two, but mostly focused on following the recipe Madge’s mom had provided for the honey sauce, Madge serving as a buffer between her and Gale just as she’d hoped.

After an hour, Gale had his essay and was starting to get a bit antsy, so he said his goodbyes and left Madge with a few strawberries he must’ve originally intended to leave at home for his siblings as a thank you for the help.

Madge just thanked him, she’d just barely started to break Katniss down into believing that she didn’t have to get her something every time she helped with something, she wasn’t about to think she might do anything other than potentially insult Gale’s pride if she tried to turn down the strawberries or insist they weren’t necessary.

Katniss offered to walk him to the door, the walk mostly quiet.

When they reached the door, Gale hesitated before turning to her, “Thanks… for… thanks.”

Katniss nodded along, and he went to leave.

But, as Katniss went to head back to the kitchen, she passed by the Mayor’s office, whose door was slightly ajar and-

She heard a burst of static and then a beeping noise.

She wasn’t sure just what she was thinking as she stepped inside, maybe it was some kind of alarm? 

The tv was on, playing back some clips from the victory tour from a few months back, the image of the ever stoic victor of the 74th Games; Thresh being suddenly replaced when the beeping stopped and a message started flashing on the tv “UPDATE ON DISTRICT 8”.

Katniss sucked a breath in. She knew in an instant this was not meant for her eyes.

She should leave, pretend she’d seen nothing.

Instead, she stepped closer.

An announcer she didn’t recognize from what little tv she watched appeared, with gray hair and an authoritative voice. She warned that conditions were worsening and a Level 3 alert had been called, additional forces being sent into District 8, all textile production ceasing.

Then they cut away to a scene that knocked the breath out of her chest. What could only be called a mob scene on what she thought might’ve been some kind of main square in Eight. The square packed with screaming people, faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks. Buildings were burning, Peacekeepers shooting into the crowd, killing at random with no care.

…an uprising.

Katniss snapped out of it, hurrying to leave the office,making sure to leave the door ajar as she’d found it and practically running back to the office, trying to take her mind off things by questioning Madge yet again on whether or not they should’ve put the potatoes in the oven, Madge insisting once more that they’d turn out crispy that way.

It felt wrong, finishing up the honey sauce- she’d traded a free performance for the sweet shop owners in exchange for a cup of honey and a bit of molasses- like everything was fine.

Madge noticed, frowning as she took the asparagus off the stove, “You alright? Are you nervous about the date?”

“…yeah, a bit I guess.” 

Madge placed a comforting hand on her back, “Hey, it’s Peeta. You’ll be just fine.”

She managed to offer a half smile, “Thanks Madge.”

She could tell Madge wasn’t entirely convinced,, but she didn’t push as they continued with their cooking.

***

It wasn’t until the next day that she was truly able to get her mind off the message she’d seen.

As she and Peeta started the treck towards the lake, she could barely think of anything that wasn’t his hand in hers and what his reaction would be.

She’d chosen a simple plum dress with mismatched buttons decorating it, the skirt ending at her calfs, making it comfortable enough for the long walk, her hair in a single braid.

Peeta laughed as she tugged him along, “Where are we going?”

“I already told you, wait and see.”

“You’re not taking me to some remote place to dig my own grave are you?” He teased.

She paused, turning to him, raising an eyebrow, “Why, would you bail on me if I was?”

He sighed, “Somehow no. If you want me to dig my own grave just let me know, I can still go back for a shovel.”

She laughed, giving him a playful shove, “As romantic as that is, dig-graving is not on today’s schedule. Just wait… and you’ll see.”

He sighed dramatically but followed her.

Once they made it to the final few trees that covered the view of the clearing and the lake, she quickly told him to close his eyes, laughing as she guided him, standing in front of him and holding his hands as she warned him of uneven ground and roots protruding out of the ground and Peeta questioned the necessity of it all.

When she’d managed to position him in the best view of the lake, she went to stand at his side, trying to reel in her excitement.

“Alright, you can open them.”

She kept her eyes on him, drinking in the way his expression fell, eyes filling with awe and disbelief at the view before him.

He gasped slightly at the beauty of it all, she could all but see him starting to catalogue the colors and how he might try to capture the path of the light reflecting off the lake.

He turned to her slowly, “It’s… it’s beautiful.”

She smiled, “Welcome to my favorite place in Twelve. If you tell anyone I will have to actually have you dig your own grave.”

He laughed as he reached for her, pulling her close and kissing her gently, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “My lips are sealed sweetheart… thank you for showing me.”

As much as she loved the way he held her and kissed her with growing confidence each time he stole a kiss- she had plans for the day.

“Come on,” she set down the singular satchel she’d been allowed to carry, Peeta following suit and setting down the picnic basket and other bags she’d insisted they bring along.

“How’d you find this place?” He asked as he sat down.

“The Covey have always known about this spot. My dad showed me when I was little.” 

“I can see why you keep it a secret. I can barely believe such a place exists in Twelve.”

She just smiled, “I’m glad you like it.”

Peeta hesitated before speaking again, “What else do you think is out there?”

“…a whole world.” And yet here they were confined to the cage that was Twelve, the gates that formed the District’s perimeter.

Just like that her mind was drawn back to what she’d overheard outside the Mayor’s office.

Peeta quickly noticed the shift in the air, “What is it?”

She considered him for a long moment, whether or not she should tell him.

She trusted him, but knowing could turn out to be dangerous.

Katniss knew he wasn’t impulsive, wouldn’t do anything rash with that information the way someone like Gale might, so she quietly told him about the transmission she’d seen, careful to keep her tone a whisper even when they were finally free from possible ears around them.

Peeta’s eyes widened, “An uprising? Like- a real one?”

“Yes. The footage from the square in Eight… it was a lot. I never thought I’d see anything remotely like that. But… I don’t think it’ll last.”

“Why not?”

She half-shrugged, “It’s the Capitol. I don’t think one attempt is enough to… do anything.”

“One attempt that we know of.” Peeta gently corrected, “There could be other Districts rebelling as well, how would we know?”

Katniss shook her head, “It’s hard to imagine something like that happening… I mean… why now?”

“Maybe it’s happened before and, again, we just never knew. As for why now…” Peeta considered it for a long moment, “I mean… the last Hunger Game wasn’t quite like the others… maybe it has something to do with that.”

Katniss leaned back against him, her back against his chest as she thought about that.

He was right.

The winner of the 74th Hunger Games, an eighteen-year-old boy from District 11 named Thresh, hadn’t played by the usual rules.

He’d refused to be a part of the Career pack, which had earned him her quiet respect. He’d mostly kept to himself, staying in the safety of a clearing filled with tall grass and wheat tall enough to conceal him.

One of the few times he’d ventured outside, he had wound up forming an alliance with Rue, the girl from his own District, barely twelve. He’d protected her for days, sharing food and being a quiet guardian.

She was killed by a Career, quickly avenged by Thresh. Then… the cameras had cut a minute after he started crying over the small girl, apologizing and mourning.

A Game-maker fabricated fire had driven him out of his safe spot.

In the burning woods, was when everything had truly changed.

Because there, he’d found the female tribute from Twelve. A fourteen year old girl from the Seam who’d been horribly burned and was terrified, clutching a knife.

Thresh had gotten her away from the fire.

No real reason, no explanation, no solid alliance.

He’d just… gotten her to a lake and had tried to help.

But the burns… the burns had been too much.

Katniss remembered the way the girl had hissed and wept through the pain, clutching to Thresh as soon as she realized he was safe, as she barely made it through the night.

From years of seeing her mom treat patients, Katniss knew it would’ve taken several painful days for the burns to kill her.

The girl from the Seam… Cleome, had quietly given him her token, a braided leather bracelet, and asked him to kill her.

Thresh had complied, he’d left her body underneath a large tree, a spot where blooming flowers fell over her, hiding the burns.

…District Twelve had sent him a piece of bread.

Katniss remembered the way the miners and sellers in the Hob had scrapped together what coins they had to pay for the bread. A sign of gratitude for the mercy and honor he’d shown.

It was the first time a Tribute had been sent something by a District that wasn’t his own.

In the end, it’d been between him and one of the Careers, fighting on top of the Cornucopia, dog mutts barking from the ground.

Thresh had won.

Katniss got the feeling he hadn’t been the Gamemaker’s choice, the Career having had too much of an advantage for it to not be somewhat rigged in his favor.

She didn’t remember a word of what he’d said when the Victory Tour had passed by, too focused on pressing Prim against her side to remind herself that she was safe for another six months. 

She just knew there was a general sense of unease, at least until the very end, when he thanked them quietly for the bread, wishing he could’ve done more to truly deserve it.

He hadn’t played by the Capitol’s rules. 

Not complying meant rebelling.

She thought if seeing that might be enough for people in other Districts to plan and go through with an uprising.

She sighed, “You think that’d be enough?”

“I think that was enough to remind plenty of people that we still have our humanity. That they can’t take that away. That… that might be enough.” Peeta told her gently.

She tilted her head to look at him over her shoulder, “You have a good point.”

“You think something like that could happen in Twelve?”

“…I don’t know. I mean… we outnumber the Peacekeepers here but… even if we took over… then what? They’d just stop sending food or send more Peacekeepers… I just don’t see where we could go from there even if we managed to do something.”

Peeta just held her tighter for a moment.

They quietly moved on to talk about the new technique he was experimenting with to better depict light in his paintings and she talked about the modifications she and Gale were trying out with some of their traps.

Eventually, as the warmth of the day settled in, she carefully shifted away from his arms, going to stand up, feeling mischievous as she toed off her boots, “Come on, the water is fine this time of day.”

He frowned, “Wait what?”

She walked backwards as she approached the dock, reaching for the bottom of her dress, pulling it over her head and delighting in the way Peeta nearly chocked, quickly turning away and blushing furiously.

Beneath the dress, she wore a knitted set of what had taken her embarrassingly long to realize was meant to be swimwear, Prim was the one who’d figured it out.

She laughed, she thought she’d feel a lot more nervous doing this, but seeing the way Peeta reacted gave her an unexpected boost of confidence.

She wanted to be the one flustering him for once.

She… liked that his first instinct after turning away was to try and sneak a quick peak. 

Katniss reached the dock, “What is it? Cat got your tongue?” She teased.

Peeta fully turned to her again, smiling through his blush, eyes quickly taking her in, “What are you- are you going in?”

“You didn’t think I brought you all the way out here just to look at the water did you?”

She turned as she reached the end of the dock, jumping in.

The water was refreshing, a cool break from the days that were getting hotter, Katniss resurfaced, seeing Peeta approaching the edge of the lake, shaking his head in disbelief as he laughed.

“Get in!” 

“I don’t know how to swim!” Peeta protested.

“I’ll teach you. Besides, there’s plenty of shallow parts.”

He hesitated, scrunching up his nose.

“I won’t let you drown.”

“Well that’s comforting to know.” He teased, then he sighed dramatically, “Alright, alright, but if you make fun of me for not being able to do it-”

“Just get in!”

He grinned as he walked back to the picnic blanket, going to take off his shirt, Katniss biting the inside of her cheek as she went to dive under the water, swimming a bit.

When she reemerged, Peeta was carefully treading the bank, testing the waters, having folded his shirt and pants on the picnic blanket.

Katniss didn’t look at him as he slowly entered the waters.

Maybe she hadn’t thought this whole thing through.

She thought of her mom and Prim, how… normal it was to them to see bodies, maybe it was the healer in them, but Katniss… had never been quite the same.

But she steeled herself as she approached after he made it to a deeper part of the lake, the water reaching his chest.

“You okay?”

“Yeah… this is actually really nice.” Peeta said, closing his eyes as he dunked in quickly to get his hair wet, sighing at the relief from the heat.

She chuckled, “Come on, I’ll show you how to float first.”

Funnily enough, teaching him how to float took longer than showing him the basics on how to swim, Peeta not fully trusting the water to just… hold him up.

Katniss took the time to get… used to the feeling of his skin, a hand on his back encouraging him to let himself float and showing him how to stay afloat, messing up his hair as the blonde locks kept trying to curl whenever he spent more than two minutes without dunking his head in, holding his hands and forearms as she swam back and he got the hang of swimming over the deeper parts of the lake.

And, once he had the basics down, he instantly started pulling her to him, hands finding the bare skin of her waist just to throw her into the water, Katniss cackling as he started trying to chase her and throw her again.

Eventually, she let herself get caught, Peeta drawing her close, arms wrapping around her waist, her hands finding the nape of his neck as he kissed her, his feet just barely reaching the smooth stones at the bottom.

She gladly returned the kiss, his lips tasting of freshwater and the berries they’d picked on their way to the lake.

She knew she most certainly hadn’t considered the amount of bare skin she’d be able to feel if he pulled her in, it took her breath away, the unexpected intimacy of it. But she didn’t want it to stop. His touch was careful, like maybe he didn’t want to spook her, or maybe he just thought she was precious for some reason.

The heat returned to her stomach, coiling itself in the pit of her stomach as she let her hands tangle in Peeta’s hair, Peeta carefully tracing shapes against her sides, fingertips drifting over her skin before fully pulling her flush against him.

She broke the kiss, leaning their foreheads together as she took a shaky breath.

He trailing kisses over her cheek and down to her chin, Katniss letting her head fall back and he continued down her neck, shifting her up slightly to wrap her legs around his waist so her collarbones poked out of the water, Peeta carefully biting at the skin between her shoulder and her neck, Katniss letting out a soft gasp as he traced his tongue over the bite.

She tugged at his hair, returning the favor, trailing kisses to the base of his neck, where she bit down just hard enough that she knew he’d have a matching bruise to hide, smirking at the thought before pulling back, gently cupping his face, taking a moment to watch his eyelashes shinning under the sun and finding her thumb carefully tracing the freckles dotting his cheekbones.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked in a whisper.

He smiled, still holding her slightly above the water, he let his gaze drop for a split moment to the knitted fabric over her chest, “I don’t think you wanna know darling.”

She gently smacked him over the head.

“Sorry sorry! I-” he took a moment to laugh, Katniss rolling her eyes and trying to suppress her own smile, “I was actually thinking… I believe you’d said you’d share a secret with me.”

Katniss hummed, carefully untangling herself from his arms and going to swim backwards, moving as she spoke, “Right. The last Covey… her name was Lucy Gray.”

“Lucy Gray.” Peeta repeated, pensive as he went to follow her as she swam about.

“Both her names came from the same ballad. And, according to Clerk Carmine she just… vanished one day. Something about how the current Mayor thought she’d killed his daughter, partially because the Coveys were always seen as outsiders. She just… disappeared. Out here actually.”

Peeta glanced around the woods, like he might spot the ghost of the girl, “Really?”

“Clerk Carmine said he and the Covey assumed she must’ve gone into the woods because she left a wagon in a place they’d be able to find.”

“And you’d said she was the one that took care of them up until then?”

“Yes. She wrote a bunch of their songs too.”

“Hmmm… what do you think happened to her?”

Katniss shrugged, “She probably died trying to get somewhere beyond Twelve.”

“Or maybe she made it someplace else.” Peeta countered, “You’d mentioned her ballad was about disappearing?”

“The ballad she was named after was about a girl who vanished, no one knows what happened to her but, more likely than not she fell down a ravine.”

Peeta smiled to himself, “If it were me I would’ve been at least a tiny bit satisfied that I replicated my own ballad. Maybe she liked the idea of being a mystery.”

“…maybe she did.”

Then his hand closed around her ankle and she realized she’d let him come to close, Peeta quickly dragging her to him and throwing her, Katniss laughing as soon as she surfaced.

After a while longer in the water, they went to get out, Katniss fetching the towels she’d packed away for them, she showed Peeta how to make fishing rods, setting herself up on the dock to catch something while Peeta gathered some firewood, still in their underclothes while they waited for them to dry in the sun.

By the time she’d managed to catch four good-sized fishes, she could pull on her plum dress, seeing Peeta already had the fire going, the perfect size and intensity.

She quietly shook her head, “How are you better at setting fires than I am?”

He shrugged, grinning, “Son of a baker sweetheart. It’s instinct at this point.”

She took the long thin branches Peeta had found to stab through the fishes to start roasting them over the flames while Peeta went to pull on his shirt and pants and took a moment to wander about the bank, taking in more of the landscape.

And returning to something he’d spotted while swimming with her.

He returned after a minute, carefully settling down on the blanket, “Okay, don’t call me crazy, but I think I’ve seen some of these in the tables of Capitol banquets.” He set down a few shells.

“Those are mussels.” Katniss easily identified, remembering her dad explaining those, “The meat inside can be eaten raw but, there’s not much of it, I’ve mostly left them alone. But open one or two up, we can try them.”

Peeta helped prepare their meal, bringing out the bread and strawberry jam he’d managed to sneak out as well as a tiny bottle of grape juice she had no idea how he’d gotten and praising her dishes as they snacked on the asparagus and the crispy smashed potatoes which, just like Madge had said, wound up wonderfully crunchy. Katniss trying her best not to die via blushing as she insisted it’d mostly been Madge’s doing.

Once the fish were ready, she poured the honey sauce over the meat, hoping it’d actually be good.

Peeta groaned, “This is… wow.”

She wouldn’t ever be questioning Madge again.

They talked as they ate, about Buttercup’s latest mischief and how Graham had fallen over the counter while trying to impress a girl and how Peeta was becoming more and more convinced Thom might have a crush on Delly and Katniss quietly telling him about Gale.

Once they were about halfway done with the fish, Katniss having decided to wrap up two of them to take one home and the other Peeta could take for Bannock and Graham, who’d never tasted fish, she explained how to open the mussels.

He handed the first to her, opening the second for himself.

He frowned as he quietly chewed, “Huh… it’s… just a tiny bit sweet, wasn’t expecting that.”

Katniss shrugged, “Some can be more salty.” She went back to her fish, letting Peeta take the third and final one for himself.

But when he opened it, he just smiled to himself, glancing to her before going to hand her something, “Here, for you.”

She let him drop something into her palm.

A pearl.

It’s shape was almost oval, slightly thicker on one side than the other, a dark bronze, almost purplish tone.

She smiled, instinctually curling her fingers around the pearl and going to hold it against her heart, “Thank you.”

She went to lean forward, giving him a soft kiss.

A look of mischief entered his eyes a while after they’d finished eating, Katniss laying down on the blanket, taking in the air and the melodies of the mockingjays while Peeta worked on his sketchbook, capturing the lake first and then the girl half laying on his lap. He’d do a proper watercolor later.

“You know what I’ve realized recently?” He asked her.

“What?” She opened her eyes lazily, turning to him.

“District Twelve is becoming a dance force with all the Hob performances you know?”

Katniss snorted, “Yeah, I’ve noticed. People are bumping into each other a lot less than they were at first.”

“Yeah… but… there’s one person that never gets to join in on the fun.”

Katniss already knew where this was going, rolling her eyes, “No.”

“Oh come on! You can’t be the only one in Twelve that doesn’t dance.” He teased as he carefully eased her off his lap and went to stand up.

“Watch me.” She let herself be dead weight as he went to gently pull her up, the move not deterring him as he wrapped an arm around her waist to get her to stand up.

“Come on sweetheart.”

“We don’t even have music!”

“Sing something.”

Katniss sighed dramatically as she shook her head.

But she was finding that there was very little she could deny Peeta.

Her voice wasn’t one of them.

‘My heart is sad and I am lonely.

For the only one I love.

When shall I see him? Oh no, never.

‘Til we meet in heaven above.’

“Should I be worried this is the song you picked?”

“Do you want me to sing or not?”

“Shutting up.”

She laughed as she let him start to guide her in a dance.

‘Oh, bury me beneath the willow.

Under the weeping willow tree.

So he will know where I am sleeping.

And perhaps he’ll weep for me.’

The mockingjays carried the melody, Katniss letting them as Peeta spun her and then pulled her close, laughing as they swayed, a pep to their step, not quite a slow dance, they were too giddy for that.

‘He told me that he dearly loved me.

How could I believe it untrue?

Until the angel softly whispered.

“He will prove untrue to you”.’

He dipped her back for a moment, letting his lips brush against her neck before pulling her back up.

‘Oh, bury me beneath the willow.

Under the weeping willow tree.

So he will know where I am sleeping.

And perhaps he’ll weep for me.’

A quiet awe fell over Peeta’s eyes as she let herself get carried away in the song and her muscles relaxed, dancing more fluently as they spun.

‘Tomorrow was our wedding day.

Oh god, oh god, where can he be?

He’s out a-courting with another.

And, no longer cares for me.’

“No!”

Katniss laughed at his genuine reaction, barely able to keep singing.

‘Oh, bury me beneath the willow.

Under the weeping willow tree.

So he will know where I am sleeping.

And perhaps he’ll weep for me.’

They danced for a bit longer as the mockingjays morphed and enjoyed the melody, making it their own.

They left a bit later than Katniss had originally planned, but she didn’t really want to leave, having had too much fun, feeling too safe and… well she just wanted more stolen moments with him.

They made their way back through the woods and into District Twelve hand in hand, Peeta accompanying her all the way to the Seam, the two smiling and laughing like fools.

And maybe they were fools, fools in love.

Katniss could barely believe she would even let herself think that… allow the word love back into her mind, but it was the truth.

As she finally shut the door behind her and Peeta began the journey back to his own home, she found her hand instantly going to her pocket, where she’d carefully tucked away the pearl he’d given her.

She carefully rolled the pearl between her fingers, bringing it up to her lips for a moment.

She was glad she’d told him about the lake.

Chapter Text

Katniss was nervous as the day passed in a blur, the time for the transmission of obligatory viewing drawing nearer.

She spun her pearl between her fingers, it’d only taken her mom three days to see her new-found habit and finding a thin leather cord to carefully encase the pearl and make a necklace out of it. It’d quickly become a source of comfort.

Katniss kept it carefully tucked under her shirt when hunting.

But now she kept reaching for it as they had dinner in silence.

She hated the tension and worry in the air, so thick she thought she might choke on it.

They finished their dinner and Katniss quietly helped her mom with the dishes while Prim went to wipe down their father’s old mirror and sweep up some of the coal dust that’d gotten in.

It was the first time she’d had to cancel a Hob performance since she’d started giving them nearly five months prior.

No one seemed to mind, they all had their minds elsewhere.

The day prior when going to Victor’s Village, Haymitch had been passed out the entire time Katniss had played.

Peeta had told her cake sales had gone down the past week and a half. No one wanted to celebrate anything for the time being.

Katniss could see the way her mom’s hands started shaking slightly as she finished the last plate, carefully taking it.

They wordlessly made their way to the couch, Prim turning on the tiny, barely working TV before hurrying to settle between Katniss and their mom, not one of them saying a word as they waited.

Any second now.

The symbol of the Capitol flashed on screen and just like that, Caesar flicker man appeared with his bright smile, hair and lips a deep purple that reminded Katniss of bruises, “And now… a moment I am sure we have all been thrilled for, our dear President Snow will do, the reading… of the card.” He finished with a flourish.

His image was replaced by that of the President’s House, the anthem playing as President Snow appeared at a balcony, followed by a young boy in a white suit, who held a simple wooden box.

As soon as the anthem ended, the President started talking, reminding everyone of the Dark Days, how the Hunger Games had been born, and how, when the Games were created, it was dictated that every twenty-five years, the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell, the glorified version of the Games meant to freshen the memory of those killed by the districts’ rebellion.

“For the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it.”

Katniss remembered the picnic. How horrified everyone had felt when Gale had told them about that first Quarter Quell. Not one of them could imagine voting for anyone to be reaped.

It was the kind of cruelty only the Capitol could come up with.

“On the fiftieth anniversary,” the president continued, as though he wasn’t casually bringing up the deaths of dozens of children over a war that taken place before they’d even been born, “as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes.”

She thought of Haymitch, the tortured, sometimes guilty look in his eyes after a nightmare.

He’d told her a tiny bit of the Arena, of the tributes that’d been sent with him.

Curiously, she never felt like he spoke of the other tributes as enemies… just fellow victims.

“And now, we honor our third Quarter Quell,” Katniss tensed up, her grip on Prim’s hand tightening, her mom reaching out to place an arm around both of them, dread filled her stomach, making it hard to breath.

What horrors did they have in store this time?

The little boy in white stepped forward, opening the wooden box to reveal rows and rows of yellowed envelopes, dozens of Quarter Quells planned out, prepared for centuries of Hunger Games.

The President took one marked with a 75, opening it and pulling out a small piece of paper, speaking without hesitation, “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.”

For a second. Just a single split second, all Katniss felt was relief.

She was safe.

She and Prim would be safe this year, no chance of either one of them being ripped from one another to be sacrificed for the Capitol’s sick entertainment.

Then the realization hit her.

Twelve only had one singular victor.

Which meant…

She turned to her mom, who was already watching her, having already realized what that meant, Prim right behind them, whispering a quiet ‘no…’

Haymitch was going back in.

She didn’t quite realize when she got up, stumbling towards the door as the TV went back to Caesar for reactions, already speculating on which victors would be going back in.

“Katniss… Katniss wait-” her mom tried to call out for her but Katniss was already stumbling out the door, picking up speed as she could hear a few families celebrating or crying in relief that their children would be safe that year.

She started running, heart pounding in her chest as she made the now familiar trip towards Victor’s Village.

Haymitch was a nuisance.

He was mean and a drunk and had a way of prodding at her…but somehow… there were days in which she enjoyed his company.

She understood him surprisingly enough.

She’d been allowed to see through the cracks of his armor a few times. 

She was frightened at the thought of him having to go back into the Arena… go up against twenty-three victors…

She was terrified he wouldn’t even try to fight. 

Katniss’s legs were burning by the time she made it to Victor’s Village, heaving as she went in through her usual window, hurrying to the living room and-

He wasn’t there.

There was a broken glass right in front of the TV, the screen splattered with liquor. So he’d definitely seen the card reading.

She stepped into the kitchen. Nothing.

Katniss could feel panic setting in as she went down the hall, she didn’t even know where his bedroom was, he spent nearly all his time on the couch.

So instead she found herself heading to the music room and-

There he was, sitting at the bench, starring at the keys, a bottle resting at his side.

He didn’t even react as she stopped under the door frame.

She was at a lost all of a sudden.

Haymitch slowly turned to her, raising the bottle, “Congrats sweetheart. You and your sister are safe for another year.”

Katniss tensed up, not answering.

He sighed, “What are you doing here sweetheart? It’s a waste of time, hanging with a walking dead man.”

“Don’t say that.” She snapped, stepping into the room and walking up to the bench, “Maybe- maybe you could win.”

He rolled his eyes, groaning as he stood up, trying to tower over her, “Don’t you fucking get it?! There are no victors in the Hunger Games! And- why do you think this is the great surprise for this Quarter Quell? You really think those envelopes are real? No… no this… this is exactly what our dear President wants. An excuse to get rid of every victor that has ever caused him trouble, who have too much influence or who’ve tried to rebel or who could make a stand… this is his way to wipe them all out. And I-” he laughed humorlessly, taking a swig from the bottle, “Let’s just say he isn’t my biggest fan.”

He slowly sat back down on the bench, defeated.

Katniss didn’t know what to say, “So… maybe- maybe you could make a stand there?”

He snorted, “Anything any one of us might do would just be edited out of the Games… don’t think there’s anything to be done… and there’s definitely nothing you can do about this kid… just leave it be.”

Katniss slowly rounded the bench to sit at the other side.

There was nothing she could do about the Games. That was true… but maybe…

‘Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary’

Haymitch froze, sucking in a breath at Katniss’s soft voice, she slowly reached for the piano.

She’d learned the chords, but hadn’t dared to play it.

Until now.

‘Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore -

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door —

“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —
Only this and nothing more.”’

It was a long poem, a long ballad, but Katniss made her way through it without stopping, Haymitch mouthing a few words, eyes sometimes glued to the keys, other times closed in contemplation, the hand holding the liquor bottle limp at his side.

‘Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Nameless here for evermore.’

For a few minutes, she was almost able to forget why she was there, why Haymitch was probably even allowing her to do this, why he wasn’t screaming at her to shut up and get out.

Why he was drinking in the song.

‘And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

“’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —

This it is and nothing more.”’

When she was done, Haymitch slowly rose to his feet, Katniss following him quietly to the kitchen, downing a glass of water before looking at her, inspecting her for a long moment before telling her to follow him.

‘Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; —

Darkness there and nothing more.’

Much to her surprise, he guided her outside the house, only stopping to grab a hunting knife he apparently kept beneath the couch cushions and a gas lamp, heading towards town before going to cut through the Meadow and- shockingly, heading straight for the woods with no hesitation.

‘Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”

Merely this and nothing more.’

It occurred to her it might’ve burn stupid if not straight up suicidal to just follow him, but he guided the way with such confidence, she could tell he knew exactly where they were headed, and given his lack of hesitation even in the pitch black darkness since he’d given her the lamp, she knew this wasn’t the first time he’d made this trip in the middle of the night.

‘Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; —

’Tis the wind and nothing more!”’

It was a long walk, Haymitch only slowing down once they broke through a line of trees and-

Oh…

He’d brought her to a graveyard.

There were five beautifully carved gravestones, each marked with a snippet of the poem Katniss assumed must’ve been part of their name.

First, a mossy slab of slate:

—Yet some maintain that to this day

She is a living child;

That you may see sweet Lucy Gray

Upon the lonesome wild.

Then a creamy white stone:

“Lady,” he said, — “Maude Clare,” he said,—

“Maude Clare”: —and hid his face.”

A delicate smooth stone with blue flowers planted around… her grandmother’s grave.

He turned his face unto the well

And death was in him wellin’

“Goodbye, goodbye to my friends all.

Be good to Barbara Allen—”

Haymitch had fallen to his knees before the fourth gravestone, that told Katniss everything she needed to know.

The fifth and last wasn’t as intricate as the others, the carved in poem a bit messier.

“Oh, tell to me, Tam Lin,”— she said, “Why came you here to dwell?”—

“The Queen of Fairies caught me when from my horse I fell—”

Tam Amber had been the blacksmith… it made sense his own gravestone would have to be simpler… Clerk Carmine had had to make it without him.

‘Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.’

Katniss hugged herself as she read each of the Covey’s graves, included Lenore Dove’s. She wondered if her dad would’ve preferred to be laid to rest here.

She stood behind Haymitch as he simply starred at Lenore Dove’s gravestone, his mind somewhere far, far away.

After a long minute, he sighed, “Your dad showed me this place… Clerk Carmine wouldn’t tell me where she was… I wandered the woods for days… then your dad took pity on me…”

She said nothing. 

She knew there was nothing she could say.

‘Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”’

Then, with clumsy movements, Haymitch started… digging.

Katniss wondered to herself if she was about to have to stop the man from either trying to dig up Lenore Dove’s skeleton or dig himself a grave right at her side.

Instead, he dug a small hole before the gravestone, pulling something out.

‘Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly.

Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as “Nevermore.”’

She slowly kneeled at his side, curiosity getting the better of her.

He carefully swiped dirt off the object he’d pulled out.

A necklace, the cord a shoelace, attached to it… a beautiful golden charm, depicted a snake and a bird, connected by the tails.

‘But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —

Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before —

On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”

Then the bird said “Nevermore.”’

He sighed heavily, “Lenore Dove had Tam Amber make this for me… it was my token in the Arena.”

After a long moment, he slowly handed it to her.

Katniss carefully traced it, trying to sweep off the remaining dirt, “…why are you giving this to me?”

“…she would’ve liked you. And… it’s been out here long enough.”

Katniss carefully placed it in her pocket.

She’d give it back later, she was quite sure he wasn’t thinking straight.

‘Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore —

Of ‘Never — nevermore.’”’

They stayed there for a bit, Katniss letting him take a moment.

She wondered how often he came out here, how often he visited his lost love.

She most certainly did not allow herself to even remotely imagine how often she might’ve visited this place if it’d been Peeta six feet under.

She dared to reach out, placing a hand on his back.

Neither of them truly acknowledged it.

‘But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”’

As they made the walk back through the woods, Haymitch quietly spoke… of his Games.

Far out there with no chance of being overheard, he told her about the chariots and how Louella had been killed, how he’d carried her and taken her to President Snow.

About the plan another victor had concocted to flood the Arena.

About his mentors and what they’d suffered.

He told her about his doves, about the Newcomers, about how they’d replaced Louella with Lou Lou. About how both Wyatt and Maysilee hadn’t been who he’d thought they were.

How he’d made himself out to be a rascal. How he’d run away from the Newcomers as soon as the Games had started.

‘This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!’

He stopped to rest against a tree as he told her of Lou Lou finding him and winding up dying in his arms.

About the attempt to flood the arena and how Ampert had met his fate.

About his brief alliance with Maysilee, how she’d spoken of painting their posters, how she’d refused to be dehumanized… how he’d stayed with her until the end.

About finding Wellie, trying to comfort her the only way he knew how… with light and chocolate sent by his mentor.

About giving some of the chocolate to Silka, his main opponent… how Silka had beheaded Wellie.

How he hadn’t meant to win, he just wanted to make a stand… have his say.

‘Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite — respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”’

Katniss wasn’t sure what to say, what she could possibly have to say.

It didn’t matter, since Haymitch just kept pushing forward as soon as he was done with his tale, the two making their way through town and back towards Victor’s Village.

Unexpectedly, Peeta sat at the steps of Haymitch’s house, quickly rising up when he saw them, relief flooding his eyes.

She hurried to meet him, “What are you doing here?”

He glanced towards Haymitch, who was glaring, “I figured you’d come here, I wasn’t sure if… you’d need help.”

He hadn’t been sure if she’d need help wrangling Haymitch if he got too drunk.

‘This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!’

Haymitch just rolled his eyes before going to head inside, leaving the door open for them.

They both followed.

Haymitch collapsed on the couch, starring at nothing.

Katniss got him a blanket and practically forced him to drink another glass of water while Peeta took some stuff from the pantry to make sandwiches and toast with butter and marmalade.

They sat side by side on the couch facing Haymitch’s while they started eating.

Peeta hesitated before speaking, “Do you have a plan?”

Haymitch snarled, “Die quickly?”

Peeta didn’t take the bait, just starring.

He rolled his eyes, “No. Got any suggestions lover boy?”

Peeta leaned forward, “You have a little over a month before the Reaping. It’s not a lot but, we can use that time. I can teach you to wrestle-”

“Ha! Right- because that’s gonna help-”

“And Katniss can teach you to shoot.” Peeta barreled through, ignoring Haymitch’s interruption, “It could give you a fighting chance.”

Katniss watched him.

She hadn’t thought about that.

They had a month before the Reaping and, while technically speaking, training for the Games was supposedly illegal- it happened all the time in One and Two. Besides, this Game would already be quite different from everything that came before.

‘“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —’

On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —

Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”’

“And- even beside that-” Peeta started gesturing with his hands, getting up to pace, “The Capitol loves the victors, maybe if you all work together, maybe you could get them to be against the Games.”

“Peeta’s right.” Katniss said, getting up to walk up to Haymitch, who just laid back against the couch, more annoyed than anything, “This isn’t over yet. You can’t just give up- think about it. Snow is getting what are seen as teh best of the best of the Districts. It’s not just the Capitol that adores the victors. In doing this… he’s giving you power. If you’re together- like the Newcomers were, then it means something.”

Haymitch shook his head, but he seemed genuine as he spoke, not just dismissive, “I already told you kid, anything we do or might say will just be edited out.”

“Not if you do it in the interviews.” Peeta offered.

He rolled his eyes.

Katniss shook her head, “You already tried ruining the Arena one… maybe you could do it again.”

Haymitch glared her way, Peeta shooting her a glance but wisely deciding to save his questions for later.

‘“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”’

“And where did that get me last time?” Haymitch questioned, eyes hardening at the memories.

Katniss said nothing, Haymitch went to get up after taking a long swig of liquor, going to leave, perhaps heading for his bedroom for once.

Katniss sighed as he left, going to run her hands through her hair.

Peeta approached slowly, taking her hand, “You okay?”

She shook her head, “Just… frustrated is all… I hate this.”

“I know,” he gently pulled her into his arms, holding her against him, Katniss nuzzled further into him, “But we have a little time to at least try to get him somewhat into shape.”

She closed her eyes, “He… he took me to the Covey graveyard… I didn’t even know it existed.”

He pulled back slightly, cupping her face, “You alright?”

“Yeah… it was… strange to see it. But it’s just another piece of me I just didn’t know about… it’s beautiful… private.” She hesitated before reaching into her pocket, “Haymitch said he buried this with Lenore Dove, that it was his token in the arena.”

She showed him the necklace, Peeta carefully tracing it, something clicking in his gaze, “Huh… a flint striker.”

Katniss did a double take and… he was right.

It was a flint striker.

‘“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting —

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”’

She didn’t tell him everything, she felt she owed Haymitch at least that, she just shared the plan to flood the Arena, how Haymitch had done everything he could to ruin the Games. 

How it’d all been edited out.

Once she was done, she considered everything.

Then, she stalked to the kitchen, quickly starting to dig into the cupboards, pulling out bottles.

“Help me out, get the bottles in the living room.”

Peeta frowned, but instantly went to help her, “What are we doing?”

“…I’m throwing all of his liquor out.”

That gave Peeta a moment of pause, “He’ll get sick.”

“It’s even more likely he’ll wind up dead if I don’t.” Katniss told him, already opening one of the bottles to dump the liquid inside down the drain.

Peeta couldn’t argue against that, going to gather all the bottles, “Alright, but if he asks, I did it. He’ll be pissed and I’d much rather he be pissed off at me.”

Katniss begrudingly agreed.

Once she was done, she sighed, “I should probably stay. He’ll be sick as soon as he wakes up.”

“I’ll stay too then, to help.” 

Katniss felt a smile tug at her lip, vulnerability flooding her as she pulled him close, leaning their foreheads together, and kissing him gently, “Thank you… for everything.”

He slowly traced her cheekbones, “You don’t have to thank me love.”

Katniss got a few extra pillows and blankets from a winter closet she’d stumbled upon one of the times Haymitch had been passed out cold and she’d dared to explore more of the house.

They laid down on one of the larger couches, Peeta opening his arms and Katniss wordlessly falling into them, cuddling against him.

She told him a bit more about the graveyard, about the snippets of poems on each of their gravestones.

And, at his request, she quietly recited the Raven one more time, each word helping to lull the both of them to sleep.

‘And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted — nevermore!’

***

Just as Peeta had expected, Haymitch was pissed when Katniss had told him about dumping the liquor.

The first day though, he’d been almost too sick to be pissed… almost.

The following week was a blur, after school, she and Peeta would head to Victor’s Village, sometimes joined by Graham and Bannock to help Haymitch with hand to hand combat, or at least wrestling.

Haymitch had to be practically dragged against his will but his stubbornness wasn’t a rival for Katniss’s.

Prim stopped by to give him a crash course on edible plants and what plants could be used to treat wounds.

Katniss wasn’t sure just how much attention Haymitch had actually given them, but she hoped he’d retain at least something.

It took three days to drag his ass into the woods to try and teach him to shoot, Gale finding them and wordlessly joining in, saying he’d try to help teach him how to throw knives when he had a day off.

Katniss was starting to suspect Haymitch was only putting up with all of it for her sake, and of course, for the ghost of Lenore Dove.

Also because, as it turned out, Peeta could be a bossy nightmare when he wanted to.

She’d quietly left the flint striker in the kitchen after three days.

He’d taken it back without saying anything.

Neither spoke about that night.

It was a week and a half after the reading of the card that she’d foolishly gone to his house after school without Peeta since he had to go to the bakery.

She should’ve felt it in the air.

Should’ve known that something was going to happen.

Instead, she’d been in his living room, drilling him on how to set one of Gale’s traps.

He rolled his eyes and groaned, “Don’t you have anything better to do sweetheart? Go shove your tongue down your boy’s throat or something.”

Katniss took a breath, willing herself to not rise to the bait. She couldn’t take him to the woods because she had a performance in two hours and she couldn’t beat him to a pulp because she was supposed to be helping him, she reminded herself.

“I actually do have better things to do. So maybe you could try to be a little less of a bitch.”

Haymitch just snorted, “You could try to get a little more creative with your insults you know.”

She rolled her eyes, “You know what-”

The front door suddenly opened, Haymitch shooting to his feet as a voice came from down the hall, stepping in front of her as if to block her from view, “It’s a big, big day!”

A woman stepped into the living room, nose scrunching up ever so slightly at the mess or maybe the lingering smell of alcohol.

It was a woman from the Capitol.

And not just that, the woman who did the reaping ceremony every year.

She wore a hat with blue feathers, her outfit too sharp and overly pronounced.

She started making her way to Haymitch, not quite looking at him, “Haymitch.”

“Effie. What are you doing here?”

“Well, the stylists are supposed to be paying visits in a week to all the victors to prepare potential outfits for the Quarter Quell and… well I had to pull some strings to get us here a week early but… it only seemed fair.”

If Katniss hadn’t known any better, she might’ve sworn there was genuine guilt and pity in the woman’s eyes, who quickly blinked tears away as she turned back to the entrance to the living room, where a man lingered, “It is my pleasure to introduce you to Cinna, your new stylist.”

The man wasn’t what Katniss would’ve expected from a stylist. He wasn’t grotesque or dramatic to the point of horror like many she’d seen on the screen over the years.

In fact, the only thing that truly stood out about him was the golden eyeliner he wore, and even that was subdued by Capitol standards.

Cinna gave a single respectful nod, “It’s a pleasure Haymitch, I hope we’ll be able to work together well.”

Haymitch rolled his eyes.

Effie seemed a bit nervous as she glanced back at the front door, “There’s also a… different matter but- anyhow-” Then Effie’s eyes landed on her, “Who might this young lady be? Did you finally hire a maid like I told you?”

Haymitch threw her a glance, she tried not to react, she wasn’t sure how to act in front of anyone from the Capitol.

“Yeah. Kid’s not very good at her job, but it helps.”

Katniss didn’t react.

“Well you at least have some sense of style compared to what I usually see in Twelve. And what is your name?” Effie asked, relatively friendly.

Katniss would’ve never pictured the lady that called out the names and sentenced children to death by pulling papers from a bowl would be friendly.

She considered lying for a moment.

She didn’t exactly want anyone from the Capitol knowing her name. But she also didn’t want to lie just in case it might cause problems but… maybe she could give a half truth.

“They call me Willow Swan.”

Haymitch’s head snapped to her, eyes widening.

It occurred to her that he didn’t know about her Covey name. He hadn’t been to a Hob performance since she’d taken the name, and the day she’d taken the name, he’d gotten there late, hadn’t been there to hear the names.

Then, before Effie could say anything-

“Willow Swan?” A voice came from beyond the entrance, steps approaching, a figure emerging flanked by Peacekeepers-

Her stomach fell to the floor, blood running cold as Haymitch quickly grabbed her wrist with a strength she hadn’t known him to possess, pulling her behind him.

As if that would do any good.

President Snow, who must’ve been lingering in the foyer, slowly smiled, making Katniss’s skin crawl, “What a lovely name.”

Chapter Text

Katniss couldn’t speak.

She didn’t know what to do, what to say.

She was frozen in place, staring at Snow’s almost mocking smile.

Haymitch stepped further in front of her, blocking her from sight, “President Snow… you’re a long way from the Capitol.”

“I am making my rounds, paying visits to… a few of my favorite victors.” 

A muscle in Haymitch’s cheek twitched, and Katniss knew in an instant that he was right, that most if not all of the tributes this year would be rigged, would be the victors Snow didn’t want around.

Snow kept walking deeper into the house like he owned the place, turning to Haymitch, “Shall we?”

Haymitch squeezed her wrist once, a quiet signal to not do anything before going to follow the President, maybe to one of the offices filled with dust and cobwebs.

She didn’t want to know what it was they’d be talking about.

Katniss slowly turned to where the Peacekeepers stood flanking the exit, she knew they wouldn’t let her leave until the President did. 

Effie was flying around the room, gushing about messes while Cinna stood still, watching her, she met his gaze, refusing to be the first to look away.

“Your dress is beautiful, whoever made it knew their craft.” He said in a casual but honest tone.

Katniss glanced down to her dress.

It was one of the simpler ones, an off-white with swirls and  splotches of light pink that looked like birds and flowers when viewed at the right angle.

“Thank you.”

“May I take a closer look?” He asked, gesturing to the skirt.

She chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. But, he seemed… sincere in a way she wouldn’t have expected out of anyone from the Capitol.

“Sure.”

Cinna stepped closer, not hesitating to drop down to inspect the fabric, Katniss tensing up but relaxing slightly when she saw he was clearly just genuinely interested in whatever techniques had been used to dye the fabric pink in just the right places, taking some of the lower part of the skirt, careful not to actually touch her as he traced one of the birds.

“So, are you the runt of the litter?” Katniss questioned, “Is that why you got Twelve?”

He half grinned as he took out some kind of glass to inspect the splotches of pink that formed an azalea, “I asked for Twelve.”

She frowned at that. 

No one ever wanted Twelve. It was the bottom of the food chain.

“You gonna put Haymitch in a miner outfit?”

He shook his head, clearly amused as he rose up, going to the small black leather case he’d left on the coffee table, carefully opening it to take out a notebook, going to scribble something down, “I believe that past stylists of Twelve, despite being incredibly talented, have focused too much on the coal itself when coming up with the outfits… I intend to focus more on what coal can do.”

Katniss slowly crossed her arms, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He smiled, “Why spoil the surprise? You’ll see soon enough.”

“Oh, Cinna is just marvelous.” Effie said from where she was now in the kitchen, organizing things Katniss hadn’t realized needed organizing, “He has truly made a splash in the Capitol’s fashion world, he’s probably the best stylist of these Games, Haymitch is in safe hands.”

Katniss couldn’t help but snort at the irony of that statement.

Cinna noticed, stepping closer, going to inspect the sleeves of her dress as he lowered his voice, “He seems to care for you… I’m truly sorry for what will happen… we must seem repulsive to you.”

Katniss struggled to tame her reaction at that, simply raising an eyebrow slightly at that.

Again, he seemed to be honest, he seemed guilty at his role in all of this.

She gave a quick glance at the Peacekeepers that were still there, who hadn’t heard his whisper.

She lowered her own voice, barely moving her lips, “You’ll help him all you can?”

“I will. So will Effie.”

She nodded along, it didn’t do much to comfort her, but it was better than nothing.

It was only a few minutes later that President Snow and Haymitch left the office, the President seeming unfazed and Haymitch pale.

Snow paused for a moment as he reached the living room, taking a moment to look at Katniss, she tensed up.

A scent seemed to flood the place as soon as he stepped in… roses… but too sweet to be a real scent.

His eyes focused on her hair, specifically, the orange scarf she was wearing yet again as a headband, then they drifted to where she’d left her guitar by the fireplace, something like recognition seeming to flicker in his gaze.

Haymitch tensed further, if that was even possible.

Snow gave the smallest chuckle, glancing back to Haymitch, “And you so insisted there was no new songbird in Twelve… I’ll be seeing you soon.” He turned before Haymitch could reply, going to leave, the Peacekeepers leaving with him.

Katniss frowned, trying to figure out… had he been talking about her? But why would they talk about her? She was just some random girl from Twelve. Why did he seem to have a reaction, however small it was to her?

Effie cleared her throat as the front door closed, “Well then, Haymitch, we must get started with-”

“Later.” Haymitch quickly cut her off, going to grab Katniss’s wrist already dragging her towards the music room, “I need- later.”

Katniss followed with minimal resistance, turning to him as he shut the door to the music room.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” He demanded, “Since when do you have a fucking Covey name? Are you insane?!”

“I only use it for performances!” Katniss tried to defend herself, unsure of why he was worked up about this and not going to discuss the fact that the fucking President had just been in the house, “What does it matter?!”

“What does it- what does it matter?! Did Clerk Carmine approve of that? Let you do it?” He questioned, running his hands harshly through his hair as he started pacing.

“Y-yeah he knows. He just told me to only use it at performances.”

“Does Prim have one? Does she?!”

“Yes, she’s Clementine Mauve-”

“DAMN IT!” He slammed a hand against the wall before going to pace again.

“Why do you care so much about this? Pretty sure there are bigger things to worry about right now-”

“No there aren’t! Katniss he-” he stopped for a moment, shutting his eyes to gather himself before walking up to her, looking into her eyes with an intensity that made her feel like he was starring right into her soul, “He knows Katniss. Snow knows about the Covey. He knows what a Covey name sounds like.”

Katniss recoiled, drawing back, “What- no! Why would he even know that? You’re wrong-”

“I’m not wrong!” He went to grab her shoulders, shaking her slightly, “Listen to me kid. He spoke to me. After- after Louella he spoke to me… he’d seen footage of Lenore Dove from the reaping, and when he saw her initials on the pendant I wore- he instantly knew she was a Covey… he knew about the Covey even back then, and it was quite clear to me… he hated them. And from what he said today… he can’t stand the thought of a songbird in Twelve… he seems to think Covey girls are…” he trialed off, shaking his head, “It’s one of the reasons he killed Lenore Dove. It had to be.”

Katniss shook her head, her heart starting to pound as she shrugged him off, stepping back, “No… no- why- how would he even know? Why would he care?”

He told her then.

Of the days after his Games when he’d been stuck in an apartment with nothing but a TV. Of clips of different Games that played and a single minute that he’d never forgotten.

A Covey girl with rainbow ruffles in an Arena, singing to the snakes.

Haymitch could only guess it had something to do with her, that maybe she’d been the one singular Covey, Lenore Dove had refused to ever even speak of.

Katniss knew the dress he was talking about.

She knew the Covey he spoke of.

Leaving was a blur, Haymitch trying to stop her as Katniss barreled her way through the living room, ignoring anything and everything around her as she stumbled down the steps of the entrance.

The wind rushed against her ears as she ran, nothing compared to the blood rushing in her ears, deafeningly loud, impossible to ignore.

She ran all the way to the Seam, all but bursting through Clerk Carmine’s door, the old man jumping up from the kitchen table where he’d been.

“Willow Swan- what-”

“Was Lucy Gray in the Hunger Games?” She asked, breathless.

His eyes widened in disbelief, “What-”

“Was she?! Did she- how does Snow know about the Covey?! What really happened to Lucy Gray?!”

Clerk Carmine’s face fully fell at that, he slowly shook his head, “How… I…”

She slammed her hands down on the table, “TELL ME!”

“…what happened?”

Katniss turned away, running her hands through her hair, nearly ripping off the scarf, “Snow- Snow was in Haymitch’s house… he heard me introduce myself as Willow Swan- and Haymitch- Haymitch kept saying that he knew- that he knew about the Covey. That he hated them- so just- tell me. Tell me!”

Clerk Carmine shut his eyes as he cursed.

Then he looked at her, at the way her eyes were filled with tears, lip trembling, hands shaking.

“Lucy Gray was the victor of the tenth Hunger Games.” He started slowly, “Lucy Gray wasn’t reaped. Not really. She and Billy Taupe… they were together… until he started also seeing the Mayor’s daughter… she was so jealous of Lucy Gray she got her Pa to call her name at the Reaping. Lucy Gray told us that… that when she arrived at the Capitol, all the tributes had… that year the Capitol tried giving them mentors… not past winners… but the top students of some academy, she told us that her mentor was the best because he was there from the start… he was… her mentor was Coriolanus Snow.”

Katniss nearly fell down, collapsing on a chair.

Clerk Carmine slowly sat down in front of her, eyes somewhere far away, “Lucy Gray said he kept her safe as best as he could… that they became friends… maybe more… he cheated to help her. Snuck her food… got her a guitar so she could sing at her interview- it was the first time they gave interviews… gave her a mirror where she could hide rat poison and… he snuck a handkerchief with her scent into a tank with mutt snakes to keep them from attacking her when they were released into the Arena. He was the first thing she spoke of when she came home… she’d been so quiet those first few days, but she told us a bit about him.”

Katniss just stared at the table, trying to wrap her head around it all.

“But… he was caught cheating. And… as punishment, he was sent to become a Peacekeeper… he came here Katniss. To Twelve. To Lucy Gray.” He took a shaky breath, “We met him… and another Peacekeeper, a friend of his, SejannusPlinth… he had a good heart.” He rose up as he spoke, going to the hall and crouching to work at a loose wooden board, lifting it to reveal a hidden spot, reaching inside, “Coriolanus… he seemed to love Lucy Gray… we all thought he did, and she loved him… she trusted him. She wrote a song for him.”

He placed on the table three pages that must’ve fit in the spot in Lucy Gray’s journal where Katniss had found missing, ripped pages.

She’d been meaning to ask if he knew what’d happened there.

‘Pure as the Driven Snow’ 

The title of the song seemed to taunt her, she didn’t dare to touch the pages.

“For a while things were alright… Lucy Gray was healing… we got used to having Coriolanus and Sejannus around… and then… Billy Taupe and the Mayor’s daughter were found dead backstage right after one of our shows… it wasn’t until a lot later I suspected Snow might’ve had something to do with it. The Mayor was harassing Lucy Gray… and then Sejannus was hung… for being a traitor they said. Later on rumors said he’d been turned in by one of his own friends…”

Katniss tried to envision the mess that could’ve lead to all of that.

“Lucy Gray wanted to run… she always had but… with the Mayor after her and things getting drastic… she vanished one day… that same day… Snow left. According to other Peacekeepers, he’d been supposed to be promoted, instead, he was sent back to the Capitol for some kind of internship under Gamemakers…”

Katniss slowly met his gaze, grinding her teeth together, voice shaking as she finally managed to speak, “What… what do you think happened? You’d said… you’d said you had a theory.”

He looked down, “I… if Snow was involved with what happened… I think he and Lucy Gray might’ve planned to run away together. Leave Twelve behind… but… Lucy Gray was smart. Maybe she put two and two together… maybe Snow slipped up and accidentally confessed he turned Sejannus in… maybe there was some other secret… or maybe Snow just decided he wasn’t cut out for a life out there and that she knew too much… I think he killed her. Or at least he tried. After she vanished… it rained that day… but we found traces of blood… mockingjays shot dead, plenty of bullet casings- Snow hated the mockingjays, they drove him crazy… we found that scarf in the mud close to a snake… Lucy Gray used snakes as weapons sometimes…” Katniss reached up, touching the scarf, “That scarf… she might’ve left it behind or tried to use it as a distraction for Snow… she told Barb Azure he gave it to her as a gift, that it’d been his mother’s.”

Katniss all but ripped the scarf off, shooting up to her feet, the chair falling back as she stumbled, trying to get away from- from- from everything.

She felt like throwing up, sick to her stomach as she stared at the scarf in her hands like it was caked in Lucy Gray’s blood.

Clerk Camine rose up from his seat slowly, clearly concerned, “Katniss-”

“Don’t- don’t you fucking touch me.” She quickly drew back, barely able to breath, “Why didn’t you tell me? Didn’t you think I should know that- that- that Snow has some kind of grudge against the Covey?! One that he didn’t let go after forty years according to what Haymitch told me?! One that he might still have after sixty-five years?! You didn’t think that was important to be aware of before you let me parade around in Covey colors and names and- and- and-” she ran her hands through her hair, tears blurring her vision.

What had she done? What had she done? What had she done?

She’d unknowingly put herself in the crosshairs of Snow… had dragged Prim right there with her.

And both Clerk Carmine and Haymitch had let it happen, withholding the information with which Katniss might’ve been able to be smarter in doing this whole thing.

She took off again, ignoring Clerk Carmine trying to call her back, running until her legs threatened to give out and her lungs burned.

But she needed- she needed… she needed…

Katniss all but burst through the back door of the bakery, Bannock and Graham both jumping in surprise.

“Whoa! Hey Kat, no need to-” Graham’s expression dropped as soon as he looked at her, “Katniss?”

Katniss couldn’t speak, couldn’t breath.

“Katniss hey hey,” Bannock quickly stepped forward, gently grabbing her arms, trying to inspect her, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Katniss shook her head, trying and failing to explain, “No I- I just- I can’t- I can’t breath- I need-”

Bannock quickly took her weight when her legs finally gave out beneath her, all but carrying her towards a stool as he barked at Graham, “Graham, get Peeta-”

“Yeah yeah yeah, on it.” Graham vanished, hurrying past the door that led to the front counter.

Bannock helped her sit down, “Hey Katniss, Katniss you’re alright. We got you okay? Put your head against your knees and just… try to breath okay? Try to breath.”

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t breath, her lungs were burning and black dots were starting to obscure her vision and-

She fell forward, Bannock catching her as voices shouted and everything went dark for a moment.

***

She dreamed of the woods.

She was running, she wasn’t sure what from. 

Katniss could hear hissing, rainbow snakes curling around trees, watching her.

She could see mutt squirrels attacking the snakes, scampering up the trees as she passed by.

But they weren’t what she was running from surprisingly enough.

Notes of melodies made her look up, at mockingjays flocking high above her.

Then a gunshot rang out, birds starting to fall.

Katniss ran, the echoes of the mockingjays combined with gunshots, gunshots that seemed to be getting closer and closer, taunting her, hunting her.

She tripped and fell as she broke through a line of trees, finding herself in the clearing of the Covey graveyard.

She jumped as she felt scales on her skin as snakes started crawling up her legs, slithering under her dress.

She scrambled back, heaving in breaths as she tried to get away and-

Katniss jerked awake, sucking in a breath and going to sit up-

Gentle hands found her shoulders, “Hey, hey, don’t try to sit up.” Peeta told her gently, guiding her to lay back down.

It took her a moment to get her bearings.

She was in what she could only assume to be the room Peeta shared with his brothers, placed on the bed, Peeta sat at her side, Bannock appearing at the doorway.

“Dad just got back, we’ll handle things. You good here?”

“Yeah we’re good.”

Bannock nodded once before going to leave, closing the door behind him.

“Here, sit up slow.” Peeta told her as he carefully helped her, handing her a glass of water before sighing, “Are you okay?”

Katniss stayed quiet for a long moment, “…Peeta… I really messed up.”

He frowned, gently reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ears, “What happened?”

It came out in bits and pieces.

How Snow had arrived at Haymitch’s house. How he’d heard her use her Covey name…

How she’d learned that he’d known Lucy Gray, that he’d helped her win the tenth Hunger Games.

How he’d been sent to Twelve as a Peacekeeper as punishment.

That Snow seemed to have a grudge against the Covey in general.

That it was part of the reason he’d killed Lenore Dove and-

“Peeta…” her voice shook as she took a deep breath, “Clerk Carmine said… Snow left for the Capitol the same day Lucy Gray vanished… he thinks Snow killed her out in the woods.”

Peeta sucked in a breath, “Shit- Katniss-”

She couldn’t breath again, starting to panic all over again.

Peeta quickly pulled her into his arms, “Hey hey… it’s gonna- it’s gonna be alright-”

“Don’t lie to me-” she cried as she hid her face against his chest, “Snow knows I’m Covey- he can do whatever he wants- he- he’s already killed two Covey girls. He knows- he knows-” a sudden realization hit her and she pulled away, “I- I shouldn’t even be here- he could have eyes I- I could be putting you in danger-” she tried to get up, Peeta easily stopping her.

“Hey hey- none of that sweetheart.” He leaned their foreheads together, cupping her face, “We stick together okay?”

“Don’t you get it?! This is serious- people have died over this grudge he has!”

Peeta just shook his head, “I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not letting you pull away from me. No way. We’ll… we don’t even know if he’ll try something so let’s just… let’s not panic before we have to.” He reminded her of her own words from that chaotic day at the bakery.

Katniss pressed her lips together for a moment, her chest tightening as the words bubbled down in her esophagus and climbed up her stomach and her throat, slipping from her mouth before she could stop them, a confession she’d wanted to make so many times since her dad had died but that she’d never allowed herself to speak.

“I’m scared.”

Her voice broke, Peeta quickly drawing her into him, Katniss climbing into his lap, straddling and clinging to him, shaking with terror and sobs.

“If- if he looks into it- he’ll know about Prim- he’ll know and- and- if he does-”

“Katniss-”

“I’m hoping he’ll focus on me- Clerk Carmine said- he told me once I look a little like Lucy Gray- Prim couldn’t look more different- maybe- maybe that could keep her safe? I- I don’t know-”

He pressed a kiss against her temple, carefully drawing back, cupping her neck, “Willow Swan… listen to me… maybe… maybe we could run. Go into the woods.”

For a split second, Katniss considered it.

They could do it. 

She wouldn’t mind the thought of spending her life threading the woods, hunting and traveling with Peeta, trying to find something, anything away from Twelve. 

But-

“What about your brothers? Prim and my mom… Clerk Carmine… they couldn’t handle it out there… I couldn’t do that to them… and we don’t even know what’s out there.”

He sighed, tracing gentle circles against the skin beneath her ears, trying to keep her calm, “Then… what do you want to do?”

Katniss considered it, trying to think, “Snow knows about me… but he doesn’t know about Prim… maybe if she lays low… he won’t know. I think… he’ll keep eyes on Twelve, if only to watch Haymitch.”

“So Prim won’t perform anymore… what about you?”

Katniss leaned her forehead against his collarbone, taking comfort in the closeness and his warmth as she tried to think.

Hide or stand her ground?

He already knew. Trying to hide wouldn’t erase that fact.

And… she thought back to what Madge and Peeta and Delly and even Gale had told her.

Her singing had changed Twelve.

It meant something.

Her performances at the Hob… they had almost become a living thing, a cluster of people dancing together, forgetting about every misery and divide the Capitol tried to force upon them and just, living.

The people had become closer, kinder. Gale claimed they looked out for each other more.

Katniss was terrified at the prospect to keep playing, worried Snow might take it as a taunt…

But he’d already silenced Lucy Gray. 

According to Clerk Carmine he’d all but made music illegal back in the day.

He’d killed Lenore Dove, who might’ve not sung in public but who’d written so many beautiful songs, denying the world of the future verses she might’ve written.

Her own grandmother had feared what he’d caused enough to try and give her son a standing chance by not giving him a Covey name.

He’d tried to bury the Coveys and their legacy.

Katniss slowly met Peeta’s eyes.

She could see he already knew what her answer would be as he gave her a soft kiss and a tiny smile despite the fact he was scared for her.

***

Katniss had her tune box with her, a drum to her side.

Prim had tried to fight Katniss on her ban from the stage, but Katniss had put her foot down.

She’d told her everything.

Prim had paled gradually as she told her everything, Katniss worried she’d spend every day terrified now… but she had to know.

She played with her gaze glued to the keys.

She didn’t know if there were eyes in the audience.

She didn’t know if what she’d written might be taken as an insult or a taunt.

She just knew she had to sing… for Lucy Gray and Lenore Dove.

And also… for the victors that were facing the possibility of being thrown back into the Arena.

Her nightmares were of Haymitch’s games, stuck in his place, sometimes combined with Lucy Gray’s games, watching through her eyes.

‘I don’t know where I am.

I don’t know this place.

Don’t recognize anybody, just the same old empty face.

See these people, they lie.

And I don’t know who to believe anymore.’

At her request, Peeta had begrudgingly stayed home.

Katniss would do her best to not pull away… but she wanted him away during this performance… just in case.

She knew it might be stupid… but she might’ve already signed her fate… might as well go out gloriously… or at least saying something that mattered.

‘But there comes you to keep me safe from harm.

There comes you to take me in your arms.

Is it just a game? I don’t know.

Is it just a game? I don’t know.’

She could see how plenty of people’s eyes widened slightly as they realized this song might be a bit different.

She saw tension enter the shoulders of a few off-duty Peacekeepers.

Saw Gale subtly start to get closer to the stage after telling Madge to stay put.

‘Pleading eyes that break my heart.

So homesick I can’t feel.

But I know I must play my part.

And tears I must conceal.’

She could feel his eyes drilling into her.

She hadn’t spoken to Haymitch since that day. She knew he would be pissed about this.

But maybe he should’ve considered letting her know about the entire situation before she’d gone and used her Covey name thinking it to be the safe option.

‘There comes you to keep me safe from harm.

There comes you to take me in your arms.

Is it just a game? I don’t know.

To keep you safe from my bow.’

Katniss would have to talk to him, she knew that.

She had a feeling he’d be intercepting her after this performance to explain in detail just how stupid she was being, how reckless and impulsive and whatever else came to his mind in that moment.

She was thinking whether or not to tell him she was just doing what Lenore Dove would’ve done, but maybe that’d be a bit cruel.

‘Take my hand and my heart races.

Flames illuminate our faces.

And we are on fire.

Blow a kiss to the crowd… they’re our only hope now.’

Tensions rose at what might as well have been confirmation that she was indeed singing about the Hunger Games.

‘And now I know my place.

And now I know my place.

We’re all just pieces in their games.’

Katniss took a deep breath as she finished her song, taking a bow even at the shocked silence that followed.

Then… one of the old miners slowly raised his left hand to his lips, kissing and holding up three fingers.

The gesture spread like wildfire, nearly everyone in the Hob holding up their hands… a parting gesture.

They knew this song was meant to be a kind of goodbye. To Haymitch? The mystery of Lucy Gray? The ghosts of all the dead tributes?

Did it even matter?

Katniss returned the gesture, then, slowly, she turned to leave, climbing off the stage.

Her basket hadn’t even made its way back when Darius, out of his Peacekeeper uniform, pulled back the tarp that made up her backstage and approached slowly, stopping before her.

She said nothing, just watching him.

He sighed, “What are you doing?”

“…my job?”

He shook his head slightly, she could tell he didn’t want to be here, “You can’t sing that song again Katniss. Too rebellious. I’m telling you this before Cray catches wind and decides to send you a warning himself… this close to the Quarter Quell… just… be careful with what you play.”

Katniss said nothing, quiet fury and indignation burning at the pit of her stomach.

Was this what Lucy Gray had once been told? 

Was this how the Covey had started being silenced one by one?

Darius just watched her for a long minute before turning and walking away, instantly being replaced by Gale and Madge.

Madge stepped forward, squeezing her forearms, “Hey you alright?”

“What did he tell you?” Gale asked.

Katniss shook her head, “He told me to not play that song again.”

Gale quietly cursed, Madge frowned slightly, “Katniss…” she hesitated, glancing back, “What’s going on with you?”

Katniss hesitated… she didn’t want to put anyone else in danger… and yet…

“What time do you have to be home?”

She took them to the woods, so late in the evening, it wasn’t hard to slip past the gate unseen.

She didn’t tell them everything, but she told them enough.

Gale looked ready to implode, Madge looked like she was on the verge of tears, both out of anger and fear for her.

“Do you think he’ll do something?” Gale asked, arms crossed tightly.

“…I don’t know.”

“He will.” She turned, surprised to see an annoyed Haymitch, “So- you telling everyone in Twelve?”

“I’m telling the people I trust. The people I think should know… might’ve been nice if you’d told me from the get-go.”

Haymitch rolled his eyes, “I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to use a Covey name… or to sing a song like that in front of everyone-”

“You expected her to just shut up? Hide?” Madge snorted without humor as she rose up from the log she’d been sitting on, shaking her head, “Sounds like you don’t know her.”

Haymitch just watched her for a long moment, something flickering behind his eyes.

Katniss realized something… she’d meet Madge’s parents… she knew how much the blonde resembled her mom…

That meant she also must’ve resembled Maysilee.

Gale frowned at the heaviness of Haymitch’s gaze, stepping forward, “You said Snow will do something, you sounded sure… how sure are you?”

“…he seemed to take the existence of any Covey girl as a personal insult… I’m quite sure.” Haymitch grumbled, “If you insist on being reckless… he’ll be quicker about it.”

Katniss just glared, she was still furious that he’d kept this from her, “Were you followed?”

“Unlike you I’m not stupid kid.”

Katniss nearly launched herself forward, only stopped by Gale quickly going to restrain her, Haymitch chuckling humorlessly.

Madge stood between them, “How about you continue this conversation tomorrow?”

Haymitch glared but didn’t argue, slowly turning to walk away.

Gale grumbled something under his breath before letting go of Katniss, “Come on, let’s go home.” He went to walk next to Madge to make sure she didn’t trip in the dark, given she was less familiar with the woods.

They made their way to the Seam, Madge insisting her family wouldn’t mind if she wasn’t home until later.

As soon as she opened the door to her home, her stomach turned to lead with dread, stopping so abruptly Madge bumped into her.

Prim, her mom, Clerk Carmine and Peeta sat around the kitchen table, instantly shooting to their feet as soon as she stepped inside, all of them tense.

Her mom looked like she’d been crying.

“What is it?” She asked quickly, “What’s wrong?”

She stepped inside, Gale shutting the door behind them.

Prim sniffed, “I- I went to get Peeta and Clerk Carmine as soon as it came. I ran to Victor’s Village too but- but Haymitchwasn’t there.”

“As soon as what came?”

Peeta slowly approached, offering her out of all things an envelope.

An envelope with the seal of the Capitol.

Written on it at the corner her address, and at the center with elegant cursive she could barely understand; Willow Swan.

She turned it slowly, seeing a blood red seal holding the envelope together.

Her mom was practically shaking, Madge stepping forward to gently convince her to sit down, Gale going to wrap an arm around Prim as she looked like she was about to burst into tears even with Clerk Carmine’s hand on her shoulder.

They were both terrified of what the envelope might contain.

Peeta just offered her a knife to open the envelope.

Katniss gritted her teeth together, the envelope crunching under her too-tight grip before she forced herself to still.

She took the knife, slicing it open and handing it back to Peeta, taking out the elegant creamy paper inside and-

“I can’t- I- I can’t read it- Peeta-”

He offered a hand.

She handed over the letter, going to hug herself tightly, not daring to glance towards Prim or her mom, eyes glued to the back of the letter as Peeta read it.

He took a shaky breath.

“What? What is it?”

He slowly met her gaze as he folded the letter again, “They want you to write a song for the victors. As a farewell before sending them into the Arena.”

“…what?”

“Katniss… they want you to perform for the Capitol.”

Her stomach dropped even further, if that was even possible.

She slowly took the letter from him, reading through it herself as Gale went to stand over her shoulder to read it as well after cursing up a storm, only stopping when Peeta shushed him.

Her presence and services were cordially required by the Capitol. She would have the honor to offer a performance after the tribute interviews in Caesar Flickerman’s show. They would find it spectacular if she could specifically write a song for the tributes as a farewell.

She would be leaving for the Capitol with the reaped tribute from her District in two weeks.

…she was invited to bring her fiddler along.

She found herself bringing the paper closer to her face, like there might be some secret message hidden, something she hadn’t seen, something to tell her that it wasn’t real, that it was a joke-

The paper smelled of sickeningly sweet roses.

Katniss dropped it.

Her eyes went to Prim, whose eyes were wide with fear and confusion.

She’d doomed them.

She’d doomed them both.

“…Prim-”

“No.” Her mom shook her head, quickly hurrying forward to pick up the letter before Katniss could stop her, “No- no- no-”

Gale started cursing again when his eyes caught the last part of the letter.

Madge looked frozen, like she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

“Not both my babies- no- no-” her mom moaned as she collapsed, Prim and Peeta barely managing to make sure she didn’t come crashing down.

Katniss stood still, in shock.

Older hands picked up the letter her mom had dropped.

“No. Not again. Not this time.” Clerk Carmine placed a hand on Prim’s shoulder as she tried not to cry and to calm her mom, “You’re not going Clementine Mauve.”

“What? You think we have a choice?!” Katniss all but yelled at him, “Just because it says I’m ‘invited’ to- to bring her- you know what that means!”

“This letter invites you to bring along your fiddler… it never says which fiddler.” Madge said under her breath, watching Clerk Carmine, having already figured out what the old mad had in mind.

“N- no- no, I can’t- I can’t let you do that.” Prim shot up, crying as she turned to Clerk Carmine.

He placed gentle hands on her shoulders, “I’ve watched enough Coveys die little one… this time… this time I can do something to help…” he looked towards Katniss slowly, going to step towards her, every step a heavy promise, “Willow Swan… we’re going to the Capitol… and you’re writing a song to show Snow exactly why he was never able to bury us. We won’t be silenced… not this time… not again. Alright?”

Katniss felt a cold calm start to set in.

A goal.

A final stand of a sort.

A way to keep Prim safe for just a little longer.

Snow had just handed her a gun without knowing it.

It was time to load it.

She slowly nodded, “Alright.”

Chapter Text

Haymitch sat, slowly glancing up from the floor to look at her, sighing heavily before rising up from the couch, “Is it a given?”

“Of course it’s a given.” Effie said from the side, scribbling furiously in what she’d called her ‘planner’, “Oh, it is truly brilliant! We’ve never had a proper performance to send off the tributes before- oh my dear, my dear, what an honor!” She went to stand before Katniss, inspecting her, “You don’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll make sure your stage is a memorable one- you might need a slight… makeover but-”

“She’s not a tribute Effie.” Haymitch grumbled.

“But she will be performing for the Capitol.” Effie shot back, “Don’t worry darling, I’ll make sure you get a bit of time with a prep team before the performance.”

“That’s not necessary-”

“Oh bit it is! Trust me, the Capitol will love you… but they’ll love you more if you look the part.” Effie told her gently.

Katniss knew there was a certain truth to that, but it still pissed her off that apparently going to the Capitol meant becoming a doll to be polished and dressed up.

“I don’t know Effie… I think she already looks the part.” Cinna said. He’d been standing by the fireplace, not saying a word.

They’d spent a week there and would be leaving the following day, Effie strategizing and apparently trying to prepare Haymitch for the interview while Cinna worked and reworked designs and also made sure Haymitch and Effie didn’t wind up killing each other.

Though Katniss could tell there was at least some level of care there even if the two sometimes didn’t seem able to stand one another.

Cinna went to stand before her, quietly replacing Effie, holding her gaze for a long moment, “For example, your hair is perfect just like that.”

“Thank you… my mother helps me with it.” She wasn’t sure why she revealed that last part.

Cinna just hummed, “I could make you a dress, help make sure you have the audience’s attention.”

Katniss tensed up, “I’d rather wear one of my own dresses.”

“I can tell there’s a lot of history in the dresses… but I could make you something similar yet… just different enough for the Capitol… for inspiration… what is it the President called you? …the songbird of Twelve… I could work with that.”

After being talked by Effie into letting Cinna take her measurements, she finally managed to get a moment alone with Haymitch, who dragged her to the backyard.

He said nothing for a long minute, running his hands through his hair and just pacing.

“Damn it- damn it- damn it!” He kicked the back porch a few times.

“Too late to be knocking on wood-”

“You! Shush!” He shook his head, giving a hollow laugh, “I mean- how fucking idiotic are you that you thought you could use a Covey name like it was nothing?!”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t know, how idiotic did you have to be to not tell me everything you knew as soon as I started performing regularly?”

Haymitch just shook his head again.

Then he paused for a moment, “…they might want you back.”

“What?”

“If the Capitol likes you… it the audience wants to see you perform again… then they’ll need you for the cameras… that’s how you survive this.” He stepped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders, “Make them love you Katniss. No passive-aggressiveness, no pissed off look on your face. You go on stage and you do what you do best… perform. Perform like your fucking life depends on it because it does- do you understand that?”

She nodded slowly, hesitating before speaking, “And… if they want me back? What… what then?”

“…then you’d better get used to it… better to perform in the Capitol from time to time than to be six feet under.”

***

Katniss watched as Peeta paced in the woods.

They’d agreed that talking about the whole Capitol situation would be safer to do out in the woods.

Peeta stopped his pacing, turning to her, hesitating before speaking, “Are you sure about this? That… that you want to take this chance to call Snow out or- or reprimand the Capitol?”

“…yes. Peeta I…” she went to take his hands, “this is something I have to do.”

He sighed heavily, nodding along, “I figured… but Katniss… you can’t just write or sing something like The Capitol Store or The Goose and The Common.”

“What do you mean?”

“It can’t…” Peeta licked his lips, “It can’t be obvious to everyone. I don’t think Snow would be above cutting off the transmission if he realized in the first minute what you were up to.”

Katniss frowned, turning around as she ran her hands through her hair.

Funnily enough, she still thought Peeta was better with words than she was. 

When writing, she let the truth out, but this might be something that required more caution with the way she wrote.

“Have any ideas?”

“You should use the idea of a song for the victors, make the song a double meaning. Something the Capitol could take as a message for the victors but that the districts and- even Snow, could realize is really about him or the Capitol.”

Katniss snorted to herself, “You know what Haymitch told me? He told me I should try to make them love me.”

“I agree with him.” Peeta took her hand, “The more impressed they are, the more they think you’re the best performer they’ve ever seen… the more hard it would be for Snow to hurt you.”

Katniss sighed, trying to think, “A song that could be taken as both for the victors and about Snow… good enough or vocally challenging enough to impress the Capitol… I think I can manage that.”

“We got something else to think about.” She turned to see Gale and Madge breaking through the trees, Delly and Thom not too far behind.

Katniss frowned at Gale, “What do you mean?”

Thom spoke then, “Well we were thinking about it and we realized… you’ve never had to perform for cameras.”

“And you might just lunge at Caesar Flickerman if you’re not ready for whatever he throws at you.” Delly added, an apologetic look on her face, “I’m sorry but you know you have a temper.”

Katniss groaned as she let her head drop back.

She hadn’t considered either one of those.

The girls sat down on a fallen tree trunk while the boys sat in front of them on the grass.

“Now, we’ve been talking about it,” Gale’s voice was all strategy, gesturing the way he did when he was fully focused, when he was explaining a possible new trap, “We agree that, for the most part, it seems like Caesar tends to be a good interviewer, tries to give all the tributes a chance to shine, but, we don’t know if he might be ordered to try and provoke you.”

“But… I’m not a tribute why would he interview me?”

“He’s the host of the show.” Thom told her, “Sure at first he might just introduce you but after your performance he’s gotta be tempted to ask at least one or two questions right? So- how are you gonna play it?”

“What do you mean how am I going to play it?”

“He’ll likely ask you about the song, what it means, what inspired you, why you chose the words you did,” Peeta continued, quickly picking up on what the boys were worried about, “if you write it with just Snow in mind you could freeze up. You gotta know what the cover story is, what victors inspired the song and all that.”

“And then there’s also the camera part.” Delly said, “Madge and I disagree on that, she says it’s more important you connect with the audience and you already do that quite well- I think you should keep in mind to throw the cameras a few looks or play up the performance for them since the Capitol is used to so much spectacle.”

“If she plays it up too much it won’t be sincere.” Madge interjected, “The reason we all love her performances is because they’re sincere and they’re just… her.”

Katniss took a moment to consider it all, “I… I should probably at least not straight up ignore the cameras… as for the rest… I don’t even know what to think about all of that.”

In the end, they spent a little over an hour out in the woods, Thom, Delly and Peeta coming up with random questions and acting like Flickerman, trying to catch her off guard and making sure she’d have good answers to the possible questions they thought he might make.

Madge watched her stance and her face, making gentle suggestions on how she held herself when talking but said nothing about her performance, saying that if she tried to even suggest tweaking the way she performed the song would suffer from it.

Gale had her perform one of her longer songs while throwing nutshells and having the others try to distract her, since he didn’t put it above Snow to try and distract her or do something to get her to mess up her performance.

When Katniss started getting snappy, they knew they should call it quits for the day.

As they went to make their way out of the woods, Madge linked their arms together, walking slower to purposefully put some space between them and the others.

“How are you holding up? The truth.”

Katniss sighed, “I… I’m trying to stay focused on just… writing something I’ll be proud of. A part of me just wants to throw caution to the wind but…”

“You’re worried about what might happen to your family.” Madge finished for her.

“Yes. I just hope… I just hope I don’t panic once I’m actually there.”

“I’m sure you’ll be great… just focus on the music and you’ll be alright… anyway I uh… I have something for you… to wear to the Capitol.”

Katniss started to frown, confused as Madge reached into her pocket and pulled out-

“Oh Madge- I- I can’t.”

It was a gold pin, depicting a small mockingjay inside a circlet.

It was beautiful.

Madge gave her a sad smile as she passed a careful thumb over the pin, “This was my aunt Maysilee’s… my mom told me… it was made by Tam Amber.”

Katniss’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at the pin again with new eyes.

“I want you to wear it when you sing over there…. and I think my aunt would’ve wanted the same.” She told her as she closed Katniss’s hand over the pin, giving her a small smile, trying to hide the worry in her eyes, “If you really think you can’t accept it… you can give it back when you get home.”

Katniss met her eyes, recognizing the silent plea for a promise that she would indeed make it back home.

“…alright.”

***

Katniss felt like she worked day and night on her song.

How much anger was too much? Should she slip in references to the Covey or would Snow kill her for it?

Should it be more up-beat? Should she go for a slower tempo?

Would she keep playing all the way through the bridge or should she let Clerk Carmine take care of the bridge to focus on her words and their delivery?

On top of all of that, she had to help keep Haymitch in check and keep him training, though Peeta had been the main one to take over making sure Haymitch wasn’t getting drunk and was getting better, since he didn’t want her to have to worry too much about that as well.

Late at night, while she sat with a candle on the table illuminating her journal, Prim quietly came out of her room, Buttercup in her arms, slowly going to sit down at her side.

“…I don’t like this.” She said with a sniff, eyes glued to Buttercup’s fur.

Katniss sighed heavily, turning to her sister, “I know Prim… but we can’t… we won’t risk you going to the Capitol.”

“But you can risk going yourself?”

“I don’t have a choice Prim.” She reached out, gently smoothing down her sister’s hair, “Besides… someone needs to stay with mom.”

Prim sniffed again, tears getting the best of her as she set Buttercup on the table and all but crawled into Katniss’s lap, “I don’t want you to go.”

Katniss held her close, rocking her slightly, “I know… I don’t want to go… but I have to… and I have to take the risk and do something with my song.”

Prim said nothing for a long moment, the two sisters just taking a moment to soak in each other’s company.

“…haunt him.” Prim quietly told her after a long while.

Katniss felt the tiniest smile tug at the corner of her lip as she pressed a kiss against the top of Prim’s head, “I will.”

***

It was the day before the Reaping.

Before she was set to head off to the Capitol.

She found herself in the bakery, the sun setting. She’d spent most of the day there, 

Katniss did her best to not fidget as Peeta set down the journal.

She hadn’t really performed the song for anyone, even Clerk Carmine, they’d just practiced the melodies and the chords. 

She hadn’t shown the song to anyone… just Peeta, and even then, she wouldn’t sing it… not yet.

Katniss knew at least a part of Peeta wanted to beg her to not do this, she could see it hidden in the worry in his eyes. He didn’t want her to risk pissing Snow off.

But he also knew that if he said it… he might just persuade her, and he knew Katniss would regret not taking her stand.

So, while she could see tension grow slightly in his shoulders, he didn’t try to talk her out of it.

Instead, in an unexpected move, he took a pen and added on to the bridge, adding a verse into it without a word, turning the journal back towards her and watching her face for her reaction.

Katniss read through his addition carefully and…

It was what she needed, exactly that.

She’d written a song of truth. A mirror to be held up to Snow, a warning perhaps. A reminder of exactly who he was with a tiny sprinkle of a promise of his eventual demise.

What Peeta had written wasn’t all that different… but somehow… it evoked strength and hope. A reminder perhaps not to Snow but to the Districts that they could still take a stand.

“…it’s perfect.”

He nodded along, pressing his lips together.

Katniss slowly rounded the table, going to stand in front of him, carefully cupping his face, “Hey… I…” she couldn’t promise she’d be back, not really, “I’ll miss you.”

He surged forward, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her off her feet, holding her against him, she could tell he was holding back tears.

She’d already told him to not head to say goodbye the following day, just in case.

So this was goodbye.

“I’ll be right there when that train comes back.” He said quietly against her neck.

She hid her face against his neck, “You’ll wait for me?”

“I’ll wait for you.” 

He slowly set her down, letting her pull back just enough to sweep her into a world-ending kiss, stealing the breath from her lungs as he deepened the kiss, dipping her back, Katniss clinging to him, a part of her terrified that she might not get to do this again.

She almost broke to tell him she’d changed her mind, that he should go say goodbye.

But she resisted, it was probably doing nothing to tell him to stay away, at this point anyone in the District Twelve, including the Peacekeepers knew their songbird could be found at the Mellark Bakery far too often for it to be considered normal, but it was one of the only things she could do to try and keep him safe.

They parted once they both ran out of breath, leaning their foreheads together, Katniss gently tracing the freckles decorating his cheekbones and wandering over the bridge of his nose, Peeta forming nonsensical figures against her waist.

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that before a quiet shuffle let her know his brothers were at the entrance to the kitchen, hesitating on whether or not they should also say goodbye.

Katniss forced herself away from Peeta, turning to meet Graham and Bannock’s gazes.

“Well you don’t have to look at me like I’m headed for my funeral.”

Graham rolled his eyes, “Oh shut up Kat.” Then he rushed forwards, going to hug her, his voice cracking with unexpected emotion.

Katniss had found that, Graham was the most expressive of the brothers, but she hadn’t expected the rush of emotion. Sure they bantered from time to time and he’d talked her into a singular dance at the Hob during one of Prim’s fiddle solos, but she hadn’t expected him to care so much.

“Give them hell… but be safe when you do it okay?”

She shut her eyes for a moment, fully accepting the embrace, “I’ll try.”

He pulled back, and Katniss let him pretend like he didn’t swipe at his eyes as Bannock took his spot, giving her a gentler hug, “We’ll watch over him, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Katniss sighed, “Thank you.”

She pulled back, sharing a single nod with the boys before Peeta offered a hand, which she took without question.

He walked her home, neither saying a word as they made it to the Seam.

At the porch of her house, he kissed her one last time, a fast yet desperate kiss before hugging her again, holding her tightly against him.

This time, he was the one to slowly pull back, cupping her face as he gave a much softer but no less intense kiss, one of his hands carefully trailing down her neck, following the path of her necklace before reaching the pearl.

Then… they slowly broke the kiss, Katniss mourning the loss of his lips and his touch.

She reached up towards her neck, carefully taking off her necklace and going to tie it around his neck, Peeta’s eyes widening, “Katniss-”

“It’s too precious to me to take it to the Capitol.” She quietly confessed, pressing a hand over the pearl once it rested around his collarbone, “Keep it safe for me?”

It was painful to take off the pearl, but a part of her couldn’t bear the thought of it ever being in the Capitol.

He slowly nodded, then he dug into his pocket, “I had Thom make this. He’s been experimenting with tree sap.”

He showed her a small bubble of resin, a pendant and inside-

A dandelion.

Peeta had noticed she liked dandelions best out of all the flowers he’d quietly given her over time.

When he’d asked, she’d told him that dandelions just gave her hope.

She didn’t want to admit she associated them with him.

Her boy with the bread.

She took in a shaky breath as he carefully took her hand, wrapping the simple cord of the bracelet around her left wrist.

She watched him as he tied it off, all but jumping him when he meet her gaze, kissing him yet again.

It took a second to get to their actual final kiss, him walking away felt like a part of her very soul was being torn from her, she hurried inside so she wouldn’t have to watch.

That night… she crawled into her mother’s bed without a word, her mom not asking for explanations, instead just holding her through the night.

***

The Reaping Ceremony felt eternal and swift at the same time.

It’d been a simple affair, they all knew what would happen.

There were two bowls, one empty, one holding a singular paper.

To Effie’s credit, she’d seemed to be on the verge of tears as she took said paper, her voice actually breaking as she called out, “Haymitch Abernathy.” As the sole tribute from Twelve.

Just as it’d happened at the Hob after her performance of Just a Game, one by one, the people of Twelve raised their left hand after kissing three fingers, a farewell.

Peeta had started it this time, quickly followed by his brothers and Gale before the rest of Twelve joined in.

Katniss had stood slightly to the side with Clerk Carmine, close to the Peacekeepers just as Effie had told her before her return to the Capitol.

Then, something unexpected had happened, instead of heading into the Peace Building and having a minute to say goodbye, Katniss, Clerk Carmine and Haymitch were all but dragged into the train by the Peacekeepers, even Effie seeming surprised at the hurried speed, Clerk Carmine and Haymitch both shooting her warning glances to keep her from protesting, she caught Prim’s eyes in the crowd, being held back by Gale and Madge and told herself she’d be back soon enough.

Katniss had frozen as soon as she stepped into the train, eyes widening at the sheer luxury of it all, the banquet laid out at the table.

“Well-” Effie sighed, “I will have a word with the Peacekeepers about their rough handling, anyhow, you have a whole day to relax. I will make sure our schedules are up to date since we don’t have a lot of time before the Tribute Parade.”

With that, she left.

After quietly telling Clerk Carmine that the bridge would be longer than originally planned and that he should do whatever felt right, Katniss took her time looking around the main train car. 

She took a plate with chicken bathed in some kind of orange sauce with vegetables before sitting by a window, watching everything go by at an impressive speed.

She already missed everyone.

Katniss let her hand find Madge’s pin, which she’d pinned close to her heart, once she finished her plate and it was quickly taken away by an Avox, she went to what had been designated to be her room.

A part of her wondered if it was wise to leave Haymitch and Clerk Carmine alone in the main train car, but she was tired and she doubted they’d get into a fight.

She wasn’t surprised that Haymitch hadn’t said a word to her. Not when they were ears and eyes everywhere now.

She slipped into her room, glancing around at the gigantic bed, the private shower and programmable view.

Katniss fidgeted with the control before almost accidentally landing on a view of the woods, which brought her some minimal comfort. 

She slipped off her dress, carefully laying it over a chair before crawling into the bed with silk soft sheets and going to fall asleep.

Even if her performance wasn’t until a few days later, she had to be as ready and as rested as she could be when she arrived to the Capitol.

Later in the evening, she found Haymitch sitting at a different car, watching the TV.

He turned to her, “Just in time. They’re showing the competition.” He grumbled, a mug in his hand.

Katniss could’ve punched him, “Are you drinking?”

“It’s called hot chocolate sweetheart. Can you-” He gestured at an Avox, who quickly got Katniss a mug of her own.

Katniss slowly sat at his side, taking a cautious sip.

It was good.

She tucked her feet under herself, watching as the recap began.

District 1; Gloss and Cashmere. Siblings who’d won consecutive Hunger Games according to Haymitch. Ruthless Careers.

District 2; Brutus and Enobaria, even more ruthless, they didn’t fear a bloodshed.

District 3; Bettee and Wiress. Katniss’s eyes widened, shooting Haymitch a questioning glance, but he gave no reaction.

She knew exactly who those two might be punished… as if a dead son and whatever had been done to Wiress hadn’t been enough.

District 4; Annie Cresta’s name was called, a pretty young woman instantly starting to sob, terrified. But less than a moment after her name had been called, a much older woman volunteered, nodding towards Annie as she squeezed her hand.

“That’s Mags.” Haymitch sighed, confirming Katniss’s suspicion.

“There’s no way she’ll win.”

“She knows that.”

She felt no surprise at Finnick Odair being reaped, snorting to herself at the way he raised an arm and the camera cut to Capitol reactions that included fainting women, “Oh he’s just gonna be insufferable. How many sponsors do you reckon he’ll have?”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover kid.” Haymitch grumbled.

Districts 5 and 6 passed by as Katniss thought about that. Finnick had only been fourteen when he’d won, the youngest tribute ever to do so. 

In District 7, Johanna Mason all but snarled and rolled her eyes when her name was called, earning her quiet respect.

She felt haunted by Cecelia from District 8, who had three children clinging to her, sobbing as she bravely stepped away after her name was called out.

When the time came for District 11, she tensed up, leaning forward.

“They won’t… they won’t call Thresh right? I mean… he-” she trailed off.

Haymitch said nothing.

The woman tribute was Seeder, who must’ve been about sixty and looked like she could’ve been from the Seam with her olive skin and straight black hair, only her golden brown eyes marking her as a resident of a different district.

Then… then they reaped Thresh.

Katniss cursed to herself, shaking her head as the boy clenched his jaw and stepped up.

Seeder reached out, taking his hand and giving him an encouraging nod. Thresh raised their joint hands up, the image instantly cutting away.

She watched the singular paper from Twelve being pulled out by Effie and Haymitch’s name being called.

They didn’t show their farewell gesture.

Katniss quickly tuned out Caesar Flickerman and the new Head Gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee, going to reminisce about how each tribute won their games and whether or not it was unfair that District 12 had no female tribute.

Instead she turned to Haymitch, who was starring down the TV with an intensity she’d never seen in him before, as if he was trying to decide something.

“Did you bring your journal with you?” He asked in a quiet tone.

Katniss had.

Not one of the old ones that’d belonged to the other Covey girls, but her own, that only had her ideas and songs, she’d slept with it under her pillow and she didn’t trust the thought of leaving it in the room, so she’d placed it in her pocket.

She took it out slowly, only hesitating slightly when Haymitch gestured for her to hand it over.

He flipped to the last page and wrote something quickly, turning it to Katniss just long enough for her to be able to read it before ripping the words out and tossing them into the fireplace nearby.

‘Listen to Heavensbee but don’t trust him fully.’

Katniss’s eyes widened as she turned back to the TV, inspecting the Head Gamemaker with new found interest.

***

For some reason, their train had been slightly delayed, something about some road block or something of the like, which meant Effie was pacing like crazy, remarking that they barely had time to make it to the Tribute Parade in time and that Haymitch would have minimal time with his prep team.

When they arrived at the Capitol, Effie decided there was no time to waste, instead of dropping her and Clerk Carmine off at the penthouse, they went straight for the Remake Center.

Katniss trailed behind Effie as they traveled through the hallways, leaving Haymitch at some station before continuing forth, past a threshold that opened into a wide circular room where the chariots were.

Katniss stopped, letting Effie continue to one of the chariots, where Cinna stood, quickly explaining something while gesturing, the stylist hurrying away, probably to join his prep team with Haymitch.

Katniss tilted her head as she inspected the space, she could see the other prep teams wandering about, having probably already finished up their work with their respective victors, the stylists must’ve all been with their victors.

Then-

“Oh! Oh my!” She turned to see two members of one of the prep teams quickly approaching her, a man with bright blue hair and matching lips placing a hand against his chest, “You must be the performer! We’d heard rumors that they’d be sending someone to sing. After Flickerman’s interviews.”

Katniss bit the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to give a small smile, hoping it came across as more nervous and shy than forced, “Yes, that’s me. It’s an honor to be here.”

“You won’t… be performing in that will you?” Another member of the prep teams asked, she had green tinted skin and hair an unnatural shade of orange, her tone was nervous as she gestured to her dress, which was the one Peeta had gifted her, “I mean it’s very vintage and the painting is cute but it’s not… what one would expect.”

Katniss bit her cheek harder, “I have another dress, but Cinna had mentioned he might make something for me, I’m not quite sure yet.”

“Oh could you sing something for us? We have nothing to do while the stylists go over the last few details.” Anther woman with huge bows in her hair and too accentuated cheekbones requested.

Katniss did hesitate slightly at that, “…I don’t know-”

“Oh please, don’t be shy.”

Katniss remembered what Haymitch and Peeta had told her.

She had to make them love her.

Might as well start now.

She sighed exaggeratedly, “Alright, I’ll play you a small tune, but please just bear with me, I’m not sure it’ll live up to Capitol standards.” She forced the words out as she swung her guitar to her front.

‘You come home late, fall on your cot.

You smell like something that money bought.

We don’t have cash, or so you say.

So where did you get it and how’d you pay?’

It only took her a moment to settle on a song, she’d found people connected with songs about heartbreak the easiest.

‘The sun don’t rise and set for you.

You think so, but you’re wrong.

You tell me lies, I can’t stay true.

I’ll sell you for a song, hmm.’

She let her voice carry as much emotion as she could, the gentle sad chords taking their effect as the other prep teams fell quiet and turned to her.

‘You get up late, won’t say a word.

You’ve been with her, that’s what I’ve heard.

I don’t own you, so I’ve been told.

But what do I do when the nights get cold?’

She felt more than she saw the prep teams get closer slowly, falling under the spell of the song, giving her their full attention.

She just focused on the chords.

‘The moon don’t wane and wax for you.

You think so, but you’re wrong.

You cause me pain, you make me blue.

I’ll sell you for a song.’

She let her voice carry out a flowing melody, ignoring the footsteps approaching from behind, letting herself sway ever so slightly as she sang.

‘You’re here, you’re not.

It’s more than me, it’s more than you, it’s more like we.

They’re young and soft, they worry so.

You coming or going, they need to know.’

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye, the victors approaching their chariots, a few of them keeping an eye on her as they walked.

How much had they heard from the hallway.

‘The stars don’t shine and shoot for you.

You think so, but you’re wrong.

You mess with mine, I’ll hurt you too.

I’ll sell you for a song.’

Katniss finished the song and chuckled to herself at the giddy applauses and awed gasps from the prep teams as she let her guitar swing back.

“Oh that was marvelous! Did you write that?” One of them asked.

“No, that’s an old one an aunt of mine wrote. But don’t worry, the one I’ll perform after the interviews is one of my own.”

The prep teams spent a few minutes making questions and suggestions, Katniss found they were more clueless than malicious surprisingly enough, indulging them as much as she could.

Eventually, they all left, she took a moment to take a breath, glancing around to see if Haymitch was ready.

Then-

“So you’re the songbird.”

Katniss sighed to herself as she turned to face none other than Finnick Odair.

He looked as arrogant as she’d imagined him to be, with a self-satisfied smirk that she wanted to smack right out of his face

“That’s me. You’re… Felix, right?”

He snorted, considering her for a moment before offering a hand, “Finnick Odair.”

She watched him for a moment before accepting the handshake, “Willow Swan.”

“Hmm,” he tossed something white in the air, easily catching it, “Want a sugar cube? They’re supposed to be for the horses, but who cares? They’ve got years to eat sugar, whereas us tributes… well…” he took a moment to look her up and down, “if we see something sweet, we better grab it quick.”

She raised a slow eyebrow at him, “No thanks. I’d love to borrow your outfit sometime, though.”

He was draped in golden netting that was strategically knotted at his groin just enough that he couldn’t technically be called naked, but it was about as close as it could get.

Finnick chuckled, “I think the cute little dresses might suit you better.”

She just tilted her head, “I suppose we can’t all look good in fishing nets.”

“…I suppose we can’t.” He kept watching her.

She snarled ever so slightly, “What do you want? You don’t have to be talking to me.”

“Maybe I just want to be entertained. Tell me… what are they giving you for your performance?”

She let the sarcasm drip from her voice, “Getting to perform for the Capitol is more than payment enough.”

He barked out a laugh, “You have a point… though… I personally haven’t dealt in anything as common as money for years.”

“Then how do they pay you for the pleasure of your company?” She asked.

“With secrets,” he said softly, stepping closer and tipping his head in so his lips almost touched hers, “What about you songbird? Do you have any secrets worth my time?”

She grinned, placing a hand on his chest as she pushed him back, “You have no idea.”

A small shuffle to his side caught her attention, his district partner, Mags joining them.

“Hi.” Katniss greeted with more softness than she cared to admit, the woman inspired a warmth she couldn’t quite explained as she smiled and went to take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I’m Willow Swan.”

Mags opened her mouth, speaking in a garbled way she couldn’t quite understand, instinctually glancing towards Finnick.

“She says she liked your song.” Finnick translated, his tone also softening for Mags.

“Thank you.”

Mags gently patted her hand before reaching out to carefully trace her mockingjay pin, giving an approving nod before going to leave, reaching a hand out to Finnick, who instantly went to help her.

Alright, so maybe he was arrogant and annoying, but Katniss had met a lot worse.

She let her gaze wander, feeling eyes on her and finding Thresh of all people looking at her.

He tensed up when their eyes locked, he glanced around before mouthing the words, so quickly she almost didn’t catch it ‘The family?’.

He was asking about Cleome’s family.

She took a split second to make sure no one was watching her too closely before mouthing back ‘safe’.

Thresh gave her a single nod before turning back towards his chariot.

It only took another minute for Haymitch to arrive, wearing a dark suit that seemed to glow like embers, shifting and moving like a liking thing.

“Looks like Cinna knew what he was doing.” She begrudgingly admitted.

Haymitch grumbled, “Something about focusing on the flames coal can produce instead of the coal itself.”

The victors were hurried into their respective chariots, as soon as they were ready to go, Effie all but dragging Katniss and Clerk Carmine out of the building and into an elegant sleek black car, where there was a small screen that displayed the chariot parade.

She watched the victors ride through the streets, feeling like the costumes were bordering on ridiculous on the older tributes, she sighed to herself when she spotted the tight grip Haymitch had on the railing of his chariot, gritting his teeth and starring daggers into the crowd.

They reached the Training Center before she knew it, Effie rambling about how each District got a floor and District Twelve had the privilege of getting the penthouse.

They didn’t have to wait too long for Haymitch to arrive to the ground floor, accompanied by Cinna.

Effie praised Cinna as they went to step into the elevator.

It was quite different from the one in Twelve, the ride smooth and swift, she almost wanted to ask to go again for the thrill of it.

The doors opened to show yet more ridiculous luxury.

Katniss took a deep breath as she set in, steeling herself for the next few days that would lead up to her performance.

Chapter Text

Thankfully, the two days passed by quickly enough.

Though, on the first night, Katniss had felt her stomach drop to the floor in the middle of dinner when she took a proper look at the Avox girl serving them… she knew her.

Katniss had seen her once, only once.

Out in the woods with Gale, they’d heard the sudden noise of a hovercraft approaching, they’d hidden beneath a bunch of trees… and then they’d seen them.

A boy and a girl running together. 

Somehow she’d been able to tell they were from the Capitol.

She wondered what they’d been running from, why they would want to escape a life in the Capitol just to find themselves running through the woods of Twelve looking terrified and exhausted.

A spear had shot out of the hovercraft, impaling the boy, the girl screaming in agony. A net had caught her and, as she’d been dragged up… she’d caught Katniss’s eye, screaming and pleading for help.

She and Gale hadn’t dared to move.

And now here she was, serving dinner as an Avox, tongue cut off so she couldn’t even scream for help again.

She’d frozen, unable to do or say anything, she saw the flicker of recognition in the girl’s eyes. She knew she’d also recognized Katniss.

The second day, she’d purposefully dropped something during breakfast, crouching and getting under the table to pick up the plate, ignoring Effie scolding her and telling her that wasn’t her job.

The girl had also instantly gone to clean up, Katniss had managed to catch her hand, barely managing to keep her voice from breaking, “I’m sorry- for the mess. I’m sorry.”

The girl hadn’t caught her eye, but she had squeezed her hand before quickly letting go and Katniss hurried to get out from under the table.

She tried to keep herself busy the following two days.

While Haymitch went to training with the other tributes, she was stuck in the penthouse.

She practiced the chords and melodies of her song with Clerk Carmine until she was sure she’d be able to play them in her sleep. Effie had obliged when she’d asked if she could perhaps take a look at the tapes of past Hunger Games to help Haymitch strategize against his opponents.

Effie was actually invested, getting her a new notebook and even pointing out one or two details on different victors, though she sounded sad about some victors returning more than others.

In a reckless moment, when they were both alone aside from the Avoxes, Katniss decided to take a chance, “What… do you think maybe we could… watch the tenth Games? I heard… things about them in my District and I’ve always been curious.”

Effie had waved her off, “Oh of course, stay here.” 

She’d vanished for an hour… but when she’d returned-

“Apparently the tapes were lost.” Effie sighed as she sat back down on the couch, “Something about that year having a lot of things going wrong. But it was also the first year the Flickerman family hosted the Hunger Games, what I wouldn’t give to see Lucky Flickerman’s debut as host of the Hunger Games!”

“Oh… that’s a shame.” 

Katniss didn’t ask anything else.

The other way she spent her time, was with Cinna.

He let her see the suit he’d prepared for Haymitch’s interview, it was a suit with silk black shirt and on top a dark blazer that’d had lines that seemed to glow like a fire, creating shapes, a few meant to honor his first interview twenty-five years prior, others showing birds. 

He also told her of the secret the fabric contained.

“Ummm… is whatever you made me also going to… you know… burst into flames?”

He grinned, “Can you guess?”

He showed her the dress he’d made for her.

It was, thankfully, neither too Capitol, nor too revealing, the two things she’d been worried about the most.

It was… stunning.

The top and sleeves blended soft yellows and an almost golden tone, the torso and the start of the skirt shifted into a warm orange, the bottom of the skirt becoming a red that somehow managed to not look bold, the skirt wasn’t too dramatic either, the cut of it emulating her Covey dresses.

The fabric almost seemed to glow, reminding her of candlelight, and, sewn all over it, were tiny golden crystals that glistened with every movement.

“Oh… it’s beautiful.” She reached out, almost scared to touch the fabric, it felt like nothing, so soft she couldn’t fully believe it.

Cinna smiled, “I’m glad you like it. As for your question… just twirl when it feels right.”

Katniss decided to trust him.

***

The dress was surprisingly light, soft against her skin. And Cinna had agreed to let her wear her usual boots after giving them a shine up that left them looking even better than when she’d gotten them.

The prep team had had their way with her the first day, giving her a ‘touch up’ on the third final day, a part of her wanted to punch them but apparently they were going easy on her as per Cinna’s instructions.

She wore her hair the way her mom usually styled it, the eldest member of the prep team, Venia, apparently having taken special care to recreate the look Cinna had described, two waterfall braids joining at the back and holding a few pieces of hair back.

They used some kind of fluffy foam that made her hair curl up better than ever in a way that didn’t look too artificial. They gave her eyebrows ‘shape’ and waxed her legs since the fabric might expose them when she spun and apparently it’d be horrific if anyone caught even a glimpse of her body hair.

She managed to talk them out of waxing her arms since the dress had long sleeves and there was no real chance of her flashing the audience her bare arms. The masks they’d forced on her for the past three days had gotten rid of most of the blemishes on her skin and left her with an almost glowy look, her eye bags somehow gone.

She hadn’t let them touch her nails since she actually needed a specific length to properly play.

Eventually though, Flavius managed to talk her into painting her nails with a golden coat of polish.

The previous day, they’d experimented with makeup. Katniss had showed them her rouge and how much she used. The youngest, Octavia, liked the rouge, but applied more than she usually wore, her cheeks rosy but Venia kept her from going overboard since Cinna didn’t want her too done up.

So now, she wore just enough rouge for her cheeks to look lively and rosy, they gave her a lipstick a few shades pinker than her natural lips and they framed her eyes with eyeliner, just a simple line and a tiny bit of sparkle in the form of an eyeshadow that was a golden shimmer, barely noticeable until she moved and the particles glowed.

Quite good all things considered.

She still looked and felt like herself.

Just… more sparkly.

She found she didn’t hate it.

The prep team left to finish dealing with Haymitch. In the living room, she found Clerk Carmine.

She hadn’t stopped to think about what he’d be wearing.

Cinna had made him something simple. A cream colored long sleeved shirt, on top a maroon vest with patterns and dark red buttons, pants also maroon, his shoes a pair of boots that looked like his own back in Twelve, just newer.

They’d trimmed his hair and beard, but aside from that, they’d mostly left him alone.

“Are you ready kid?” 

She sighed heavily, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He suddenly smiled ever so slightly, “It just came to mind… you know what Lucy Gray’s favorite turn of phrase was?” She raised her eyebrows, surprised at the easy mention of her name, especially here, “It was… ‘It isn’t over until the mockingjay sings’… remember that. Alright?”

She nodded along, taking the phrase and searing it into her mind.

She reached into her pocket, taking out the pin, now it felt appropriate, “Madge said Tam Amber made this?”

Clerk Carmine’s eyes widened at the sight of the pin, “Yes… he did.”

Katniss carefully pined it over her heart, taking out the bracelet Peeta had given her as well and putting it on her left wrist.

Now… now she was ready.

Which was good, given that Haymitch was stalking down the hallway, Effie already a frenzy since they were only ten minutes ahead of schedule instead of the preferable fifteen.

They went into the elevator, Katniss reminding herself to take deep breaths.

She saw the exact moment Haymtich spotted the pin.

His eyes widened for a moment, half frowning, “Is that… where did you get that?”

“…Madge.”

“…mmm.”

And that was it.

***

Katniss found herself waiting backstage as the interviews were about to start.

In a line, were all the victors, in order of District, the very first would be Cashmere.

She was more focused though in the corner where Haymitch had randomly dragged Clerk Carmine, the two quietly arguing about something.

“Well don’t you just look like a birdie bout to be eaten whole.”

Katniss rolled her eyes as she turned to face none other than Johanna Mason, who wore a wicked grin as she inspected her.

She tilted her head, dead-panning her response, “Oh sorry, are you supposed to look intimidating dressed up as a giant tree?”

Someone snorted, she thought it might’ve been Finnick, much further up the line, the eavesdropper.

Johanna’s grin just widened, “Who exactly are you birdie?”

“Willow Swan.”

“Well Willow, I heard-”

“It’s not Willow, it’s Willow Swan.” She corrected, unable to keep some anger from creeping in.

“Well, Willow, I heard you wrote us a little song.” Johanna continued, stepping closer, “Are you gonna try to make us weep? Or maybe recount our bloodiest kills to the audience?”

“You’ll hear it soon enough.”

Johanna snarled, stepping even closer, the skirts of their dresses brushing together, “Just be careful Willow, the spotlight can burn.”

“Hey, come on.” Thresh was surprisingly the one speaking, standing just a foot away, not moving from his spot in line, arms crossed, “No one wants to be here Mason, leave her be.”

Johanna kept her eyes on Katniss one more second before snorting as she turned to Thresh, “I think that’s the most I’ve heard you say since we got here. Got a little crush big guy?”

Thresh just scowled.

“Jo.” Finnick called out, shaking his head, “Help me with this stupid shirt.”

Johanna looked ready to snap at him but stopped herself when she saw Mags trying and failing to help Finnick with whatever it was he was struggling with.

She rolled her eyes, turning to Katniss, speaking in a mocking tone, “May the odds be ever in your favor Willow.”

Katniss watched her go, wondering if she was just bored.

She met Thresh’s gaze, giving him a half-nod.

“…is it true?” He asked in a low tone after a minute, “They made you write a song about us?”

Katniss hesitated, glancing at the Peacekeepers lining the far wall, Enobaria was going to her interview, how much longer before she was on stage?

“They asked me to write a song for you… that doesn’t mean it’s about you.”

Thresh raised an eyebrow, but wisely asked nothing else.

She focused on the bits of the interview that she could hear.

It seemed every single tribute was trying different tactics to get the Capitol and Snow to cancel the Games.

The District believed Snow to be all-powerful, so why couldn’t he change the Quarter Quell theme?

When the envelopes had been made, no one could’ve known how much the Capitol would grow to love the victors, surely it’d be cruel to take the victors away from the citizens.

Loopholes always existed.

A few other things.

Katniss wasn’t sure why she was surprised, of course they would do everything they could. They knew this would be their biggest chance, even if it was still a long shot.

She completely tuned out the second it was time for the District Ten interviews.

She let her guitar fling to her front, ghosting the chords she’d need, reminding herself of the lyrics, even doing one last vocal warmup as quietly as she could, a part of her wanted to pace.

Katniss was going to lose it then-

“Oh! It’s time, it’s time!” Effie seemed to materialize out of thin air, gently pushing Katniss towards the curtains that lead to the stage, adjusting her skirt once she was in place, Clerk Carmine right behind her, “Up you go my darling, you will be fantastic, your cue is up any second now.”

And it was up, Flickerman was already talking.

“-for the first time ever, we have one more thing to do tonight. We will be receiving an incredibly unique performance, as a farewell to our beloved victors. Please welcome the first singer we’ve ever had on the show, all the way from District Twelve, Miss Willow Swan!”

Katniss let her performance mode fully set in, taking a split second to let her face light up with a smile before all but floating on stage, giving a single spin to not trigger the dress and a tiny jump complete with a wink at the audience as she approached Caesar Flickerman, who was already getting closer, a too-big smile on his own face, holding the microphone out for her to speak into.

She did it, not allowing herself to hesitate as she smiled and tilted her head at the cautious but excited applause that echoed through the audience, “Thank you so much for the kind welcome, it is an absolute honor to be here. And I hope you can give a similar welcome to the fiddler of Twelve, Clerk Carmine!”

Clerk Carmine stepped on stage, the crowd giving another round of cautious applause.

Caesar kept smiling, “So, I heard you are a bit of a legend back in Twelve, would you say that to be true Willow?”

“Well I don’t know about that Caesar, I do my best and people seem to like it… and it’s Willow Swan please, not just Willow.”

“Of course Willow Swan. So, could you give us a little preview as to what you chose to write about for this song that will be the victor’s send off?”

She smiled gently, “I like to let my songs speak for themselves. And this one says a lot, all I can say is that I truly hope they will like it.”

Caesar nodded, “Well alright then, I will let you take it away.” He swept his arm towards the small circular platform that’d been set up for her in the middle of the stage, a microphone in a stand waiting for her, “Everyone, Willow Swan and Clerk Carmine!”

Katniss climbed the three small steps to the platform without hesitation, even as her heart threatened to come out her mouth, taking a single second to take in the eccentric audience and-

There, in a booth high above the rest of the audience… Snow, watching.

Katniss took a deep breath, making a mental note of where the cameras were and casting a split-second glance to the dandelion at her wrist.

“For the victors… this is… Devil ‘Fore the Fall.”

She didn’t hesitate to start playing, the intro was almost a whisper, almost incomprehensible, Clerk Carmine coming in almost instantly.

‘Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.

Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.

Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.

Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.’

She focused on the chords for a moment, willing herself to get lost in the words.

‘Painted grin and confidence, so willing to spar.

You walk round like you own the place, I know who you are.

Have to be the best at everything that you do.

I’d recognize you anywhere, it’s clear from my view.’

The very first verse was the easiest one that could apply to the victors, she suspected just that would be enough to convince the Capitol citizens who this song was supposedly about.

‘So omniscient, all around you are fools.

Blinded by your pride, you’re swallowed up by your rule.

Head of your pack, you’re making everyone bow.

It’s biblical the way I see this story play out.’

The first sprinkle of the truth. Of who this was truly about, she still hadn’t turned to the cameras, it wasn’t time for that yet.

But she did let herself make eye contact with the audience as she started the first chorus, seeking connection like she always did at the Hob.

‘A Serpent. A Reptile.

It’s clear as day, I see the snake through the smile.

The likeness, uncanny.

Your scales are shinning out there for miles.’

She’d worried that part might be too obvious, but she could easily be talking about the victors. 

Snow probably knew at least a few Districts called him a snake… but that word could be used to describe anyone vicious.

‘Better be careful how, you go about this now.

Forgiveness isn’t how you’re renowned.

I’d watch your back is all. That ledge is pretty tall.

And you’re looking quite a bit like; the Devil ‘fore the fall.’

She shut her eyes for a split second as they went into the post-chorus, whispering again.

‘Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.

Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.’

Katniss looked directly into one of the cameras, tilting her head as she raised an eyebrow slightly, almost trying to get the truth across to the Districts watching.

‘Beneath your feet is holy ground for us all to kiss.

But watch your step or you’ll descend into a power trip.

Make yourself big by making them all feel small.

And for the longest time, you made me the smallest of all.’

That verse she hoped the Capitol would take as Twelve having the least victors… she hoped the Districts took it as Twelve being the smallest and Snow… she hoped he took it as an accusation of what he’d done to the Covey.

‘I won’t move a muscle, you won’t answer to me.

When Reckoning arrives, you can beg on your knees.

You rule absolute, but absolute will rule you.

A king of lavish lack, sovereign of fewer and few.’

This was when she dropped some of the pretense, the Capitol citizens were already going to lean forwards in their seats, fully convinced the song was about the the tributes.

And she couldn’t risk the Districts not getting her message.

‘A Serpent. A Reptile.

It’s clear as day, I see the snake through the smile.

The likeness, uncanny.

Your scales are shinning out there for miles.’

She let herself fully start performing, gesturing to the crowd, making eye contact, flipping her hair and also casting glances to the camera.

‘Better be careful how, you go about this now.

Forgiveness isn’t how you’re renowned.

I’d watch your back is all. That ledge is pretty tall.

And you’re looking quite a bit like; the Devil ‘fore the fall.’

She knew… it was too late to stop her now. 

Clerk Carmine took over the whispers as she let her voice carry out a bit more.

‘(Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.) The Devil ‘fore the fall

(Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.) The Devil ‘fore the fall

(Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.) The Devil ‘fore the fall

‘(Darling, can’t you see? The wind has changed soon you’ll be falling.) The Devil!’

Even if they cut her transmission it’d be obvious to all the Districts they hadn’t been able to control her… 

So it was time to drop every and any pretense, she let anger enter her voice, using it to it’s full extent.

‘Midas touch seems a rush, until you starve to death.

Weakness you won’t expose- but Emperor, you wear no clothes.

Breath down sweet Lucy, you’ll make a goddess small.

Piously scrambling, to finally feel tall!’

She let her guitar swing to her back, letting Clerk Carmine fully take over on his fiddle as she pulled the microphone from the stand and slowly went down the steps, fully performing for the audience and the cameras, walking across the stage.

‘Are you prepared to face off with the divine?

Do you have any clue who it is you undermine?

You’ll meet your maker with the words that you say.

There’s a chill in the air better wrap up for judgement day~’

The fiddle strings accompanied her as she let herself vocalize as she twirled, the bottom of her skirt catching fire just like Haymitch’s blazer had at the click of a button, members in the audience gasping as the dress took on a deeper tone, flames revealing shades of dark blue, dark green and almost black, feathers decorating her torso and the ends of the sleeker skirt.

Cinna had made her into a mockingjay.

Then she let her vocalizing end to sing what Peeta had written, the only part that was truly about the victors and that was also a reminder to the Districts of what they could become.

She let herself travel across the stage, daring to look at the victors as she sung and walked, Clerk Carmine still carrying the melodies.

‘They are the thieves in the night.

They are the poems we write.

They are the ones that you had better keep within your sight.

They are the watchers that wait.

They are the servers of fate.

They are the prowlers waiting patient as you fall for the bait.’

She returned to the platform, taking the steps back up slowly, finally looking at Snow, who was watching her with rage and indignation.

He was looking at her like she was a ghost.

Good.

‘A Serpent. A Reptile.

Why so sad, sweetheart? Let’s see a smile.

The likeness? Uncanny.’

She tore her gaze from him and turned to the camera, directly at the districts for the next line.

‘Call the mobs, it’s time for a trial!’

She let her guitar swing back to her front, picking right back up, letting her voice show every single emotion of hers.

‘Better be careful how, you go about this now.

Forgiveness isn’t how you’re renowned.

I’d watch your back is all. That ledge is pretty tall.

And you’re looking quite a bit like…’

She let herself take a second of silence as she met Snow’s eyes again.

‘…The Devil ‘fore the fall.’

The crowd seemed to erupt in applause.

A standing ovation, the applause turning into white noise in her ears.

She didn’t look away from Snow as she swung her guitar  back and let her foot sweep behind her as she gave the deepest bow she ever had.

Then Caesar spoke and she snapped back into performance mode.

“Wow! Oh my, now that was a performance!” He laughed, “Give it up for Willow Swan!”

The crowd was still standing, but they claps somehow heightened in sound and whoops joined in.

Katniss looked down as she tried for a bashful smile, “Thank you so much.”

Caesar had to wait a minute for the applause to start dying down, jokingly telling the crowd to settle down before turning to her with a chuckle, “Though, I must say… that was a bit harsh don’t you think?”

“Well… I think we can all agree that we love a bit of drama in the Hunger Games and we will most certainly have more than ever with these Games. There’s so much history not just amongst the tributes themselves but between them and the Capitol as well, I figured I might as well lean a little bit into the drama.” She finished with a small wink.

Caesar cackled, “Well I think that was the right move to make! What do you all think?”

Another round of applause and whoops.

Caesar shook his head as he laughed, “Wow, you have truly made everyone loose their minds, I think I wouldn’t be on my own to say that we’d love to have you back after the Games, am I?”

The screams somehow got louder.

Katniss took the opening instantly, “It would be an honor to come back, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to perform for such a lively crowd.”

Caesar gestured to some spot in the audience, Katniss catching sight of Heavensbee, “What does the Head Gamemakerthink? Could we get a second performance to celebrate the victor of victors!”

Plutarch smiled, working the cameras like it was second nature, “I am all for it.”

She wasn’t sure what else was said, the crowd at her ears deafening her.

Then Caesar said something about giving the victors a final farewell as she and Clerk Carmine went to return backstage.

Thresh moved, taking Seeder’s hand with a set jaw.

It spread fast, victors all suddenly linking hands and then raising them up.

A final protest against the Games.

Caesar faltered for just a second before the lights went out, the moment cut short.

Katniss told herself to focus on not tripping as she made her way backstage, barely hearing as Effie told her to go into a room to wait a minute.

It felt like her heart was about to beat right out of her chest as the victors started stepping into the room, followed by Peacekeepers.

She barely had time to find it strange that the prep teams and stylists weren’t already on them when Clerk Carmine grabbed her arm, lowering his voice, “Clementine Mauve knows what to do with everything of mine.”

“What?” Katniss felt her stomach drop as she turned to him, trying to figure out the proud yet sad look on his face.

Then the Peacekeepers went to close in and she understood.

Before she could do anything, Clerk Carmine shoved her to the side right as the butt of a rifle connected with his stomach, all but throwing her towards Haymitch, who’d clearly already been ready to catch her and restrain her.

“WAIT- NO NO!” Katniss tried to claw at the arms locked around her waist as the Peacekeepers delivered blows on Clerk Carmine, several of them pointing their guns at the victors to keep them from interfering, clearly wanting to remind them of what would happen if they stepped out of line.

“NO STOP IT! I WROTE IT! I WROTE IT!”

Clerk Carmine’s fiddle spiraled over the floor, one of the Peacekeepers slamming his boot down on it, breaking it in.

“FUCKING DAMN IT-” Haymitch could barely keep a grip on her as she kicked and screamed her head off, “FINNICK- THRESH-”

She managed to weasel her way from his arms, freeing herself only to instantly be grabbed and held back by Finnick and Thresh, who seemed immune to her nails and her kicks and her punches as she kept screaming.

Then three gunshots rang out and she froze.

Blood slowly seeped out in a pool beneath Clerk Carmine, bright red, the same color as his vest… the same color he’d been named after.

The last of the original Coveys… gone.

Thresh’s hold on her loosened ever so slightly. Maybe they expected her to stop fighting now.

She threw herself at the Peacekeeper that’d shot Clerk Carmine, picking up the half broken fiddle and slamming it across his face, fully dislodging the body from the neck, the body only hanging on by two of the strings.

The Peacekeepers were lifting their riffles, ready to return the slam and-

“That is enough.” Beetee calmly stepped in between the Peacekeepers and her as Finnick and Thresh got a hold of her again, “The kid is off-limits.”

“Who are you to tell-”

“You heard Flickerman and Heavensbee. They want her back.”

“She attacked us-”

“You killed the kid’s uncle in front of her.” Haymitch snapped at them, standing next to Beetee, blocking Katniss from view, “You did what you were sent to do… she’s off limits.”

The Peacekeepers stared them down for a long minute before going to leave.

Katniss’s legs failed her and she went crashing down, both Thresh and Finnick so surprised they couldn’t soften her fall.

She was starring at the red, the broken fiddle-

It wasn’t Clerk Carmine’s fiddle.

No… it was Prim’s.

The fiddle they’d found together at the Hob.

Clerk Carmine must’ve left his own fiddle behind… had he left it with Prim?

Just in case?

Her view of the blood was blocked when Mags carefully sat down before her, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Katniss started sobbing in an instant.

She was only vaguely aware of most of the other tributes going to leave as she cried, held by Mags and, after a minute, Cecelia from Eight joined in, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“You just set the world on fire kid… my District needed hope… you just gave it to them.” She whispered against her hair.

“I didn’t- I- I-” Katniss could barely breath, “I thought they’d punish me- I didn’t- Clerk Carmine-”

“Clerk Carmine knew he was a dead man from the moment he decided to come here kid.” Haymitch told her gently, looking at the floor, trying to block her view of the body, “He knew Snow would never let him walk out of here alive. It’s not on you.”

Katniss slowly looked up at him, seeing the guilt on his face as she rose up, “…you knew. You knew he wouldn’t make it out of here alive.”

Haymitch didn’t answer, just watching her.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Haymitch hesitated, opening and closing his mouth before speaking in a lower tone, “If you’d known you wouldn’t have performed the way we needed you to.”

This time Katniss didn’t see red because of the blood. They’d used her.

Clerk Carmine must’ve known that Katniss wouldn’t go easy on Snow. Had he told Haymitch? Had the two agreed to keep her in the dark to ensure she wouldn’t be afraid to perform?

The rage was too much, the guilt, the dread, the grief, it needed to be channeled.

And so, it really shouldn’t have surprised Haymitch as much as it did when Katniss launched herself at him, nails catching the side of his face.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” She slapped him, grabbing the front of his blazer, practically snarled, “You didn’t tell me! You- you’re a liar!” 

Thresh and Finnick were already pulling her off him, Katniss leveraging her weight against them to try and kick at Haymitch, “LIAR!”

“Come on birdie, remember who the real enemy is.” Finnick said half muffled against her hair as he managed to somewhat restrain her arms, Thresh trying to grab her legs without hurting her.

Out of nowhere, a prick came at her neck, Katniss yelping at the needle instantly withdrawing.

“MASON! The fuck was that?” Thresh demanded, everyone freezing for a moment.

Johanna rolled her eyes, “You think the Morphlings didn’t have something at hand?” 

Katniss’s legs failed her, feeling lightheaded as her consciousness started slipping away from her, Finnick gently lowering her, Johanna following along, helping set her on the ground, “Wait no- let me- let me see him-” she managed to get out, half of it slurred as her eyelids became heavy.

Johanna’s eyes seemed to soften ever so slightly as she hovered above her, “Sleep now Willow Swan… you’ll be needing those claws of yours soon enough.”

Katniss let out a shaky breath as unconsciousness snatched her up, the faint lights on the ceiling being the last thing she saw before passing out.

***

She didn’t move for an hour after waking up, unable to bring herself to even sit up.

What was she going to tell Prim?

But when she saw the clock… she knew she’d regret not saying goodbye.

Katniss mechanically showered and brushed her teeth as she tried to figure out what she might say to her sister.

Katniss herself had always kept Clerk Carmine at arm’s length. She wasn’t even entirely sure why.

But Prim… Prim adored him. 

For the past few months, she’d figured out how to divide her day to dedicate time to both healing and her music lessons.

Her mornings were for school, Lady and friends, her afternoons were for lessons with Clerk Carmine or practice at home and her late evenings and nights were spent learning more medicine from their mom, some evenings spent helping if there were patients.

She would be devastated.

Katniss shook her head, trying to put those thoughts aside as she walked into the living room.

Haymitch sat at the breakfast table on his own, something told her he’d probably yelled or told off Effie and Cinna if they’d tried to join him.

Katniss walked up to him, starring him down.

He slowly raised an eyebrow at him, “You gonna attack me again kid?”

She didn’t answer, instead, she kicked at his chair, getting it away from the table and waiting until he begrudgingly stood up.

She grabbed his hand, digging into her pocket and placing something on his palm, “You forgot this in your kitchen.”

Bullshit. She knew he’d left it behind on purpose.

Haymitch sighed at the golden flint striker she’d handed him.

She’d replaced the old shoelace used as a cord, using a simple cream colored ribbon.

Haymitch ran a thumb over it, carefully tracing it. He shut his fist over it for a moment before looking at her, inspecting her for a long moment.

“They won’t let me use it this time… they know it’s a flint striker this time around.” He stepped forward, carefully placing the ribbon over her head, letting the pendant fall over her heart, “It’d better be intact when I get back.” He half joked.

Katniss sighed.

She went to unpin the mockingjay from her dress but-

“No. I… I can’t.”

“You need something from Twelve. A token.”

“Do I?”

Katniss rolled her eyes.

She hesitated only a moment before carefully pulling off her bracelet.

Haymitch grumbled but let her put it around his wrist.

She knew Peeta would understand, even if it killed her a bit to part with her dandelion. She reminded herself she’d be reunited with her pearl and her boy with the bread soon enough.

The odds she’d see Haymitch again… they weren’t that good.

He deserved to have a small piece of home with him.

“Did the boy give you this?”

“…he’ll understand.”

“Of course he will.” He didn’t even sound properly annoyed.

Effie stepped into the room, looking a bit grim, “Haymitch… it’s time to go.”

He sighed, “The audience calls.”

She watched him for a long moment before finally giving in and going to hug him, Haymitch returning the hug after a second of hesitation.

She shut her eyes against him, taking a shaky breath before pulling back.

“Stay alive.”

“I’ll do my best sweetheart.”

Katniss watched as he walked away, hoping on to the elevator with Effie, the doors closing and leaving her alone.

It was only minutes later that she herself was ready to go. She’d been told she’d be escorted on to a train back to Twelve.

How long until the Games started? An hour? Two?

Right as she wondered if she should’ve said something else to Haymitch, the doors of the elevator slid open and-

President Snow stood in the center of the elevator, smiling slowly at the look on her face.

“Ah, Willow Swan. Glad I caught you before your return to Twelve. Step in please, I was craving a good walk.”

As if this was a happy coincidence.

Katniss gritted her teeth as she slowly stepped inside, her heart in her throat as the doors shut behind them.

They were alone. Maybe she could just bash his head against the window until there was carmine red.

But no. If she did anything, her mom and Prim would be the ones to pay.

“I imagine you must be glad to go home, back to your family, the coal dust… and that lovely bakery you seem to love so dearly.”

The world seemed to stop. 

She could see the sick joy he took upon seeing her fear.

He stepped closer, his smile dropping, “You know of Lucy Gray don’t you?”

“I- I don’t-”

He raised a hand to stop her, “Now Willow Swan, let’s agree to just one thing… let’s not bother lying to one another.”

She took a shaky breath, commanding herself to show at least some bravery, “Alright… then let me ask just one question.” He stayed quiet, watching her, “Did you kill her?”

He half chuckled, turning to the view out the panel windows.

Was it her or was the elevator a lot slower than usual?

“That was a… confusing day. Funnily enough… I wouldn’t be able to tell you for sure whether or not I did.” He took the small rose from his pocket, spinning the stem between his fingers, “Now you tell me… did you know what you were doing with your little song?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, willing herself to not react, “What do you mean? I just wanted to… make a statement.”

“And what kind of statement was that?”

Katniss took a shaky breath, “That you didn’t erase the Covey.”

Snow turned to her, tilting his head, “So… it wasn’t a song meant to spark a Revolution?” He questioned, looking to catch her in a lie.

“Why would I write a Revolution song for the Capitol?”

“Because we weren’t the only ones watching now were we?”

Somehow, she knew that her answer mattered.

This moment determined if she truly made it out of the elevator.

She chose to be truthful.

“I just wanted… to give my legacy a moment in the spotlight… and remind you that you couldn’t erase us.”

Snow inspected her, humming to himself as he seemed to believe her, “That is good. The people loved you… they might just throw a fit if you don’t return… and so you shall come back… but when you return you will not write something new. You will sing for the Capitol and nothing else. Is that understood?”

“…yes.” And then, because she couldn’t help herself, “Are you truly that worried about my performance?”

Snow looked down at the rose, stepping closer until she could catch the scent of blood that seemed to emanate from his mouth, the unnatural sweetness of the roses mixing with it and making it almost unbearable.

“Your performance could easily be seen as an act of defiance. And if a girl from Twelve can try and defy the Capitol… what is stopping the other district from attempting it? Even worse, you included something in there that I cannot allow… hope… I find it is the only thing stronger than fear. It’s a weed that must be eradicated before it even has a chance to take root. If it does, it spreads like wildfire, and before long the whole system could fall.”

Katniss clenched her jaw as the doors opened behind her, “It must be a fragile system if it can be brought down by just a little song.”

“Oh it is indeed… it is indeed.” He glanced behind her, “This is your floor.”

Katniss waited until he’d stepped back from the elevator before turning away, trying her best to not run away, but when she reached the doors that would lead her outside, flanked by two Peacekeepers-

“One more thing Willow Swan.” Katniss took a shaky breath as she turned to meet his cold eyes once more, “You should know, due to a recent review and revival of old rules… music has been outlawed in Twelve.” He gave the tiniest of grins, looking like he was fulfilling some long-lost revenge or maybe remembering a grudge as he spoke, “You shall only sing when it is for the Capitol.”

Chapter Text

Katniss spent most of the train ride back locked away in her room.

She was all but glued to the TV, watching as the Games began.

The first day was an intense one, the Cornucopia being in a ring of water, Haymitch barely managing to stay afloat and reach the Cornucopia to get a hold of a machete.

Surprisingly, he seemed to have an already discussed alliance with Finnick, the two quickly managing to talk Thresh into joining in, Thresh seeming hesitant until Seeder shoved him gently and told him they had to go.

The four of them along with Mags had almost made it out when Enobaria nearly stabbed Thresh, who was pushed out of the way by Seeder, was slashed in the ensuing fight, Finnick and Thresh managing to get Enobaria to back off just enough for them to run to the jungle.

Caesar Flickerman and Plutarch Heavensbee intercut the clips of the Cornucopia bloodbath and the view of the different alliances; the Careers, District 3 and Johanna as well as Haymitch’s group with an explanation that the Arena was basically a clock, each wedge containing a different challenge that would take place at its specific hour.

Katniss had found herself biting her still-golden nails when Thresh, while cutting through foliage, hit the force field that surrounded the Arena.

She’d been sure he was dead until Finnick started pressing down on his chest and breathing into his mouth.

A technique she’d seldom watched her mom try.

It took a minute, but Thresh did breath again.

All in all, there’d been six deaths the first day.

That included Cecilia.

Katniss all but hid under the covers when Haymitch’s odd group made camp, Finnick offering to take the first watch.

She dreaded what was to come.

***

It was early in the morning when the train arrived in Twelve.

She’d been starring at the plywood box that contained Clerk Carmine’s body.

When the doors opened, she stepped out instantly, walking out on the wooden platform and quickly finding her mom, Prim, Gale, Madge and Peeta waiting, Delly and Thom just a few feet behind them.

The Peacekeepers brought the box out, setting it down at her side before setting off to the right, maybe to the base.

Prim’s eyes landed on the box, her tentative smile falling.

The few other people in the block hesitated before going to disperse.

Katniss felt her eyes fill with tears as she made her way down the steps, nearly tripping due to her blurry vision, “Prim-”

“No… no…”

Katniss hurried forwards, tugging her into her arms, Prim falling against her chest, sobbing as she clung to Katniss, who quickly moved so she wouldn’t be able to look at the coffin even if she tried to sneak a peek.

Their mom carefully joined the hug, whispering something to Prim under her breath.

Madge told Delly something and they set off quickly, while the boys exchanged a single glance before going to lift up the coffin carefully between them.

They began a quiet procession, Katniss keeping an arm wrapped around Prim as they started walking, after a few minutes, Prim wiped away her tears and managed to start leading the procession, the boys not questioning her when she lead them towards the woods instead of the cemetery.

Madge and Delly caught up with them right before they reached the woods, holding shovels.

Once Prim’s tears slowed down enough to walk ahead of them, her mom slipped a hand into Katniss’s, “Were you hurt?”

“No mom… I’m fine.”

She still didn’t let go of her hand.

It didn’t click to Katniss until they were nearly there that Prim clearly knew the way towards the Covey cemetery.

Had Clerk Carmine showed her?

He’d said she’d know what to do with his things.

Just how much had he prepared her? 

They’d spent time together nearly every day, how had it never occurred to her that, at this point, Prim might know more about the past Coveys than even she did?

When they reached the graveyard, her mom, Peeta and the others only allowed themselves a moment of surprise and a second to take it in before Peeta gently asked Prim where Clerk Carmine would’ve liked to be buried.

She pointed out the spot next to Tam Amber.

Thom, Peeta, Delly and Madge started shoveling while Gale and Katniss helped Prim cut out a large piece of bark from one of the trees while their mom started collecting more red berries aside from the ones Prim had started grabbing on the way there.

Katniss tried to help with the shoveling but Peeta wouldn’t give in, Thom handing his shovel to Gale to help Prim with the temporary tombstone, gently telling Katniss to help with the berries.

With the knife he used for his carved pieces, Thom carefully started writing on the bark under Prim’s instructions.

They used the mushed up berries to paint the words in carmine red.

Katniss stared at the part of Clerk Carmine’s name poem Prim had chosen far too intensely as the boys carefully lowered the coffin down.

—“Then take the sword frae my scabbard,

And slowly lift the pin;

And you may swear, and safe your aith,

Ye never let Clerk Saunders in.”

Prim was still crying, but somehow she managed to keep her voice from wobbling as she started quietly singing the Covey burial song as she tossed the first fistful of dirt on to the top of the coffin.

Katniss tossed the second, each one of them taking a turn before taking a moment to let Prim finish the song, all of them having tears in their eyes by the end of it.

Then they started shoveling the dirt to fill in the grave.

It took a minute for Prim to agree to leave, Katniss staying behind with Peeta, Gale and Madge. She was grateful Delly and Thom seemed determined to walk her mom and Prim home.

As soon as they were out of sight, Peeta pulled her into him, sighing in relief before dragging in breaths like he’d been drowning, “Are you okay?”

She slowly wrapped her arms around him, shutting her eyes against him ass he tried and failed to keep it together, “They- after- backstage… they just started beating him- and then- they- they just shot him.”

Peeta tightened his hold on her, cursing under his breath, “I’m so sorry sweetheart… I’m so sorry-”

Katniss pulled back slightly, sniffling as she took a deep breath, “He knew… he knew he wouldn’t make it out… but Haymitch said… they didn’t think I’d perform like they needed me to if they knew.”

“Catnip… you pretty much called for a Revolution with that performance.” Gale told her gently, something like pride in his eyes, “All of Twelve was practically buzzing… there were plans to welcome you back with a proper crowd, the only reason that was shot down was because there were more Peacekeepers than usual and Greasy Sae thought they might take it as a rebel act… but even then… I don’t think you fully grasp what you did out there.”

Katniss shook her head, “What does it matter?”

Gale stepped forward, “It matters Katniss. You just reminded everyone that no matter how hard they try, the Capitol can never fully control us, can never fully take away our thoughts of freedom… you just gave people hope.”

“And what did it do?” Katniss demanded, letting go of Peeta’s hand, “Clerk Carmine, the last original Covey is dead, the Hunger Games weren’t stopped and music has been outlawed. What did my performance achieve that- that’s real? That’s tangible?”

“You set the Districts on fire.” Madge told her gently, “I… I snuck into my dad’s office.” She glanced towards Gale, who nodded to her, hesitating before continuing, “Katniss… Eleven, Three and Seven are rebelling. And they can barely keep control over Eight… the wind is changing.”

“And it can change here too.” Gale continued, “We just have to be organized about it but- I really think we can do it.”

“We’d have to be careful though.” Peeta told him, “Let’s say we can overpower the Peacekeepers… then what? How do we get food and supplies? How do we make sure the Capitol doesn’t retaliate?”

“Plenty of other Districts are rebelling, if we can get in contact, if we can make sure we’re all in this together, then we can overtake the Capitol-”

“There’s a reason contact with other Districts are forbidden. How would we know who to talk to? Who to trust? There’s a lot of ‘ifs’ here and we probably don’t have that many people who can truly fight. And overtaking the Capitol… who knows how much power it would take to do that. Not to mention how long it might take.”

“We won’t get anything done if we don’t at least try.”

“I’m not saying we don’t try Gale but think about what everyone would be risking and-”

“Alright- alright- stop.” Katniss shook her head, covering her face with her hands, “I can’t even think right now.”

“I agree, we should probably talk about this later.” Madge agreed easily, giving the boys a stern ‘shut up’ look before linking her arm through Katniss’s, “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m sure Madge… by the way,” she carefully pulled the mockingjay pin from her pocket, “Thanks for this.”

Madge smiled lightly as she took it back, “I almost feel like you made it your own.”

Katniss shook her head, “It’s yours Madge. Family heirlooms are important… I should know. Besides, I already have something Tam Amber made.” She finished as she brought a hand to her collarbone, where the flint striker rested.

Madge hugged her, “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I’m glad too.”

After checking one last time that Katniss really was okay, Gale decided to stay behind to try and hunt a bit, Madge deciding to accompany him probably to give her and Peeta some alone time. Gale probably also wanted a while out in the woods to calm himself and not blow up at the thought of Twelve rebelling.

Or to come up with ideas on how to make it happen. One of the two.

“You know what happened isn’t your fault right?” Peeta asked her gently as they walked through the woods, hands linked, “You didn’t give the order.”

“It feels like it is my fault… I just wish I’d known. I should’ve known.”

“You were worried sick about everything else, making sure you wrote something meaningful… no one can blame you for missing it.”

Katniss just sighed, running her hands through her hair.

He stopped for a second, like he’d just thought of something, “Hey… how did you already know music was outlawed?”

“…Snow told me.”

Peeta stopped, whipping to turn to her, eyes widening, “He spoke to you?”

She nodded, “Right before I left.”

Peeta cursed.

“Peeta…” she grabbed his hand to stop him, licking her lips nervously, “Snow knows about you, he- he might as well have threatened you he-”

“I don’t care.”

“Peeta-”

“I don’t care Katniss. I told you before I’m not going anywhere-”

“He could kill you just to get to me- we know he’s more than capable of it-”

“I don’t care, I’m not going to leave you if that’s what you were going to suggest.”

“Peeta he-”

He kissed her, cupping her face, her back hitting a tree as he deepened the kiss, Katniss unable to keep herself from responding, wrapping her arms around his neck, letting her fingers bury themselves in his curls while he pulled her even closer.

He leaned their foreheads together, wordlessly reaching up to take off the pearl necklace and giving it back, the pearl falling just above the flint striker.

“I’m serious Peeta… I don’t… I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I know love. But I… I’m not going away… besides… from what Haymitch told me… I’m more worried about you than about me.”

It surfaced in her mind at the mention of him, “I gave your bracelet to him.”

“I know. I saw it when the Games started. It’s alright, he needed a token.”

She sighed, closing her eyes for a second.

She knew he’d understand.

And a part of her knew, even as it also terrified her, that he wouldn’t accept that the safe thing now would be to cut ties.

Maybe if she was stronger, or less selfish, she might cut ties and walk away and refuse to talk to him.

But she just couldn’t.

Because… because…

Things were getting dire.

Clerk Carmine was dead.

Haymitch wasn’t very likely to make it.

Snow might kill her.

And she couldn’t… wouldn’t it be the biggest regret of her life if she didn’t allow herself to say it? 

She couldn’t though- not yet- not yet.

But…

She kissed him again, with everything she couldn’t say, Peeta responding in kind, the kiss devolving into something almost primal, he picked her up at some point, her legs wrapping around his waist as he pinned her against the tree as she trailed her hands down his chest, trying to memorize the feel of him.

She only pulled away when she had no more air left, leaning their foreheads together, “Stay with me?”

She couldn’t even hate that she almost sounded desperate, how could her need for him be something she was ashamed of?

No, she was past being embarrassed… mostly.

He didn’t hesitate in his reply, even breathless, “Always.”

A tiny bubble of relief surfaced in her chest.

Even when she returned to kiss him again with barely any air left… she still felt like she could finally breathe.

***

Katniss fidgeted, filled with dread as she slowly opened the door to her home.

Her mom was in the kitchen, working on some kind of ointment.

She approached, speaking in a low tone, “She’s in our room… she wanted a second to herself… she insisted on going to Clerk Carmine’s house by herself before coming back.”

Katniss sighed heavily, nodding along, “I want to talk to her.”

Her mom raised a hand, gently tucking her hair behind her ear, “It wasn’t your fault Katniss… I know you… you never really let him in and that’s alright, I know you always disliked that he didn’t tell you the whole truth… but he was proud of you. If his last act was to help you deliver that performance… there is nothing else he would’ve rather have been his final stand. Do you understand that?”

Katniss felt tears filling her eyes as she nodded along, accepting the tight hug her mom pulled her into.

After a minute… she was ready.

She slowly opened the door to the bedroom.

Prim sat in the bed, Buttercup curled up in her lap, trying to provide comfort, in her hands, resting against the cat, was Clerk Carmine’s fiddle.

Katniss slowly went to sit down in front of her.

“He left it to me… before the train.” Prim said, sniffling, “He told me… he told me he didn’t think he’d make it back… that he wanted me to keep it safe… that it’d last me a lifetime if I treated it well… but I just- I wanted to believe- that maybe…” she trailed off, sniffing and wiping at her eyes.

Katniss placed a hand on her knee, “I’m so sorry Prim, I-”

“Clementine Mauve.” She met her eyes, Katniss could see the quiet but fierce determination in them, “Clementine Mauve.”

Katniss was torn between pride and horror. 

But if Prim wanted to fully embrace her Covey heritage… she couldn’t stop her.

“Clementine Mauve… I’m so sorry. I know… I know how much you loved him… you were the last thing he spoke of, said you’d know what to do with his things.”

Prim sighed, “He told me the week before you left. I already did what he’d told me to do.”

Katniss crawled further up the bed, ignoring the hiss Buttercup sent in her direction, placing an arm around Prim’s shoulders to pull her against her, “You didn’t have to do it all so fast… you’re allowed to take some time to just… be sad.”

“I know… but I just… I just wanted to make sure I got it all done.” She sighed heavily, “What are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“They banned music Katniss… we can’t just… let them.” She sounded hesitant, but Katniss could tell she meant it.

“There isn’t a lot we can do right now Clementine Mauve… not without risking everything. Gale has it in his head that maybe we could rebel if we all did it together but… that kinda thing takes time. And we’re already a target.”

“But there has to be something we can do.” Prim insisted, sounding all the thirteen years that she was, sometimes it surprised Katniss that she could still be a child after everything that had happened.

“I don’t know… maybe… maybe we could plan a secret performance? But it’d have to be someplace we knew no Peacekeeper would spot us… and it can’t be until after the Games. Things are too tense right now.”

“I think that’s exactly why it should be as soon as it can be.” Prim sat straight up, turning to look at her, “We could give the push that Twelve needs to rebel!”

The conviction in her eyes scared Katniss. 

The way she seemed to genuinely believe that.

The worst part was that a part of Katniss also believed that maybe they could be the ones to set everything in motion.

Maybe…

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow okay? Right now… just try to rest okay?” She pressed a kiss against her forehead before going to the living room and to the tiny black square that was showing the Games, her mom keeping an eye on it from the kitchen.

“They were sent a spiel.” Her mom told her, “Everyone in Haymitch’s alliance is still alive.”

Katniss nodded along, plopping down on the bumpy chair for the recap Flickerman was about to give out.

***

Mags had died in the middle of the night.

Some kind of fog had attacked the group, but between the fact that Thresh was still a bit slow from the electric shock of the first day and that Seeder had been injured in her fight with Enobaria… Finnick and Haymitch could barely help them along fast enough with Mags clinging to Finnick’s back.

In the replay, Katniss watched her kiss her district partner and solemnly march straight into the fog, not making a sound before the canon marking her death went off and Haymitch had to scream at Finnick to get him to keep running.

A few others had died as well, Wolf from Eight, both tributes from Five.

At the start of the third day, they were down to fourteen tributes.

Katniss spent at least an hour pacing, trying to think, trying not to panic and keeping an eye on the Games, Prim stayed in their room after milking Lady, alternating between sleeping and quietly writing away.

It wasn’t yet noon when she heard the yells.

She frowned, quickly going to the door and-

It was yanked open before she could reach it.

Delly was standing there, shaking violently, her shirt was covered in blood, pupils blown wide with panic.

Katniss quickly reached for her, “What happened?! Are you hurt?!”

“No no- it’s not- it’s not me, it’s Gale!” 

Katniss set off running as soon as she gestured outside, leaving her to tell her mom whatever it was that was going on.

Just at the edge of the Seam-

Peeta, Thom and two of Gale’s miner friends, maybe Fern and Saffron, were heaving a bloodied Gale between them, it didn’t click until she was close enough to notice his shirt was torn to bits and get a glimpse at his back-

He’d been whipped, strips of flesh torn away, blood dripping down his lower back and staining everything he wore.

She felt herself panicking, it looked horrific, wounds torn open and oozing an unbelievable amount of blood, muscle shorn and exposed.

“What happened?!”

“We have a new Head Peacekeeper.” Thom said through gritted teeth.

It took only two more minutes to make it to her house, the boys carefully placing Gale face down on the kitchen table as per her mom’s instructions, her mom and Prim were already flying around, preparing cloths and water.

“Alright, Fran, Saffron, go outside two houses down, ask if you can use the cistern there to get a few buckets of water, we’ll need plenty of it.” Prim ordered as soon as she’d washed her hands and was putting pressure on the wounds to try and stop the bleeding.

Gale groaned.

“Shit- he’s up again.” Thom cursed, trying to stay out of the way but at the same time seeming to want to try and comfort Gale.

“What happened?” Katniss questioned yet again.

“He went hunting in the morning, caught a wild turkey, went to the Head Peacekeeper’s house and- well- there’s some new guy, one who’s a lot more strict about keeping order.” Thom explained quickly.

“Cray’s nowhere to be found.” Added Fern as he heaved a bucket of water through the door.

“They started whipping him in the square.” Peeta told her as he watched her, “Delly and Madge were the ones who came to get us to help get him here right after some of the other Peacekeepers managed to talk the new guy out of lashing him to death.”

“How many times was he whipped do you know?” Her mom questioned as she started pouring water into the wounds to try and clean them.

“About- about- about twenty-five or so?” Delly said from where she stood at the sink, keeping her eyes away from the wounds, “They said- they said the punishment was twenty but he just- he just kept going until another Peacekeeper tried to step in.” Delly was trying to wipe the blood on her hands off with her skirt.

The door opened again and Madge stepped in, tears in her eyes and a box in hand, a wooden small box containing thin glass flasks.

“These- these are my mom’s.” She explained as she went to hand over the box to Prim, “She said I could bring them here.”

Morphling.

Katniss thought her mom might’ve managed to get a flask or two over the past two decades when a patient was in extreme pain and they were lucky enough to find some at the apothecary.

What Madge held in her hands was a fortune.

Prim handed the box to their mom right as Gale started fully writhing trying perhaps to get away from the pain.

“Hold him down! Hold him down!” Her mom quickly told the boys, who went to carefully try and get him to stay still.

Delly was crying now, going to wipe her tears before remembering her hands were still stained with blood.

Prim grabbed Madge’s arm in an iron grip, dragging her towards the head of the table, “Talk to him.”

“What?”

“Try and keep him calm. Or at least try and get him to stay still.”

Madge looked frightened at the command but went to crouch down in front of Gale, trying to get in his line of sight as she carefully let her hands hover at either side of his face.

“What- what do I say?”

“Anything!” Katniss told her, giving her a gentle nudge.

“Gale? Gale hey, it’s alright, we’re at Katniss’s place, her mom and Clementine Mauve are gonna fix you up okay? But you need to try and stay still alright?”

Gale groaned, still trying to move, “Madge-”

“Shhh, try and stay still, you just have to stay as still as you can okay?” Madge glanced up at her mom, “Can’t you give him something for the pain?”

“We’re working on it.”

Katniss turned away as soon as Madge managed to get Gale to calm down slightly and her mom gave him some morphling.

She was about to stumble outside but-

“Don’t open the door Katniss!” Her mom ordered, “We can’t risk letting any flies in!”

The implication of that made her stomach turn to lead.

She and Delly sat together just outside the kitchen as they worked, being eventually joined by Thom and Peeta, Fern and Saffron leaving after saying they’d tell Gale’s mom but keep her from coming over for the time being.

The only words spoken were her mom and Prim occasionally checking they were on the same train of thought, asking each other about pressure, possible infections and whether or not they should stitch the wounds up.

Katniss couldn’t be quite sure how much time passed before Prim stepped out of the kitchen, looking at the four of them sitting on the ground.

“It’s bad… but as long as we can keep the wounds clean… it’ll take a while but he’ll be alright.”

Katniss sighed in relief, going to cover her face with her hands for a moment before slowly getting up, turning to the others, “…you guys should go. I don’t think it’d be good for us to be seen all together after what happened.”

They all stayed quiet for a long minute, then Delly started shifting her weight from foot to foot, “What are we going to do?”

“What is there to do?” Thom questioned in a somber tone, “We lay low and we hope the new Head Peacekeeper’s power trip isn’t too bad. He’s in charge now.”

Delly covered her face with her hands and Peeta sighed heavily, shutting his eyes.

“Madge?” Thom hesitated as Madge stepped out of the kitchen, “Does your dad know anything about this?”

She shook her head, “He didn’t know the Capitol was sending in a new Head Peacekeeper. But I… I snuck into his office yesterday and… guys Eight is practically about to overthrow their Peacekeepers… they might bomb them.”

Peeta cursed.

Katniss went to talk, but was interrupted by a shrill scream and a confused call of her name coming from the TV.

“Katniss?!” She whipped to see Haymtich on the TV glancing around, eyes wide and confused.

Her voice… her scream rang out from the jungle, terrified and in pain.

“KATNISS!”

“Haymitch wait!”

Haymitch set off running after the voice, the phantom scream, Finnick running after him, trying to stop him.

Her terrified scream came from the trees again.

“KID!”

“Haymitch stop it! She’s not here!”

“What the fuck…” Peeta turned to her eyes wide.

They were all watching her, trying to figure out what was going on.

Finnick threw his trident, impaling the bird that’d somehow been screaming with Katniss’s voice, killing it and silencing it, Haymitch watching it with horror in his eyes.

“…jabberjays.” Madge whispered, thumbing the mockingjay pin over her heart.

“She’s fine Haymitch.” Finnick tried to tell him.

Haymitch snarled, “They could be recorded. How the fuck would they get her screams?”

Another scream came, Finnick reacting to this one, “ANNIE?! ANNIE!” 

It only took a minute for them to be surrounded, trying to escape Katniss’s and Annie’s and who knew who else’s screams just to run straight into an invisible wall, Thresh and Seeder on the other side trying to calm them down.

Katniss didn’t realize she was falling back until Peeta caught her, “Katniss?”

“They… they took my voice- how the fuck-”

They’d taken- stolen her voice… and they’d turned it into a weapon… a torture device.

The very thing- the only thing that’d allowed her to take a stand… could also be their plaything, somehow they’d turned it into… into…

Katniss actually screamed this time, enraged as she went to slam her fist into the wall, going to do it again when Peeta wrapped his arms around her from behind, dragging her back before she could hurt herself.

She just screamed again, Peeta trying to whisper in her ear and hug her.

She screamed almost as long as the Jabberjays did.

***

Katniss was sitting at the kitchen table when Gale started stirring.

She shot up, carefully moving her chair so she’d be in his line of sight, “Gale? Can you hear me?”

He groaned and winced, “Ow.”

Katniss sighed, “I know.” She grabbed the kettle her mom had left on the stove before going to sleep, pouring a cup and carefully lifting it to his lips, “Here, drink this.”

Gale obeyed, taking a few sips before letting his face fall against the table, gritting his teeth together, “What is that?”

“Some kind of herbal brew… should help with inflammation. Mom and Clementine Mauve are asleep, I took the watch turn. They told me what to do if the pain is too bad but I can wake my mom up if you want me to.”

He groaned again but shook his head, “Pain thing?”

“Hold on.” 

Katniss poured half a vial of morphing into another cup with the brew and told Gale to drink all of it.

She sat slowly in front of him, reaching out to take his hand, “Do you remember what happened?”

“…I went… I went to Cray’s to sell him a wild turkey… but Cray wasn’t there. Next thing I knew…” he let his forehead thump on the table, “Prim treated me?”

“Yes… and she wants to be called Clementine Mauve from now on.”

He winced again, “I’m sorry she saw me like that.”

“She’s a healer Gale. This is what she does best. She wasn’t even phased. She was leading the charge pretty much, ordering us all around…” she allowed herself the tiniest of smiles, “barking at Madge to calm you down.”

“Oh… I thought I might’ve hallucinated that.”

“Well you didn’t.”

“And the screams? Were those real too?”

“…yeah… that was me. The Hunger Games…”

“Haymitch?”

“Still alive. But… one of the traps. It was Jabberjays but Gale- they had my voice. They were screaming with my voice.”

Gale cursed, shaking his head, “Katniss… we have to-”

“Please don’t say we have to do something. I don’t know what- what we could possibly do. Gale… you didn’t see yourself. For a split second I thought- I thought you were dead.”

“I’m not that easy to get rid of Catnip.”

“Don’t joke. Delly couldn’t stop crying, Thom was shaking for an hour and Madge nearly threw up just from the worry- this is what they did for hunting… what do you think they’d do if we even tried to plan a rebellion, let alone try to carry it out?”

“We-”

“Just- please… try and get some rest tonight… we’ll talk about this later okay?”

Gale sighed heavily, but his eyes were already dropping from the morphing and sleep pulled him under despite his stubbornness.

Katniss stayed watching him two hours before going to wake her mom up.

***

Almost as soon as they’d moved Gale to his house, the banging came at the door.

Katniss opened it, coming face to face with who she could only assume to be Romulus Thread, the new Head Peacekeeper.

“Everdeen household?” He questioned.

“Yes.”

He practically pushed past her, going straight into the kitchen, Katniss gritting her teeth together as he was followed by two other Peacekeepers.

“Is there something wrong?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard by now that music has been outlawed.”

“Yes, we’re not doing any more performances.”

“It is now also illegal to have instruments in your possession.” He grinned as he spoke, striding into the bedroom where Prim was, eyes widening.

Their mom was at Gale’s re-bandaging his wounds.

The Peacekeepers started looking around, throwing the closet doors open and looking through cupboards.

Katniss just watched.

Romulus snarled, “Where are they?”

“We got rid of them as soon as music was outlawed sir.” Prim said respectfully, “There’s nothing here.”

It’d been Peeta’s idea to hide both their instruments and dresses out in the woods, afraid that something like this might happen.

“Is that so?”

Katniss stepped between Prim and Romulus, “Is there anything else we can help you with?”

Romulus watched her for a long moment, “You think you’re smart girl?”

Katniss bit the inside of her cheek to stay quiet.

Romulus walked around for a minute after his Peacekeepers had confirmed there were no instruments there.

“I heard there were some illegal hunters in the Seam, disobeying the law for their own selfish gain.”

“That’s awful sir.”

“I also heard you frequent some… Hob? The illegal den?”

“…that’s just a dusty old building sir, it’s been abandoned for years.” Katniss spoke as monotone-ly as she could, not looking away from him.

“Are you telling me my intel is wrong?” He questioned as he tilted his head, stepping way too close to her, she could feel his breath hit her face.

“Of course not. I just said what I’ve heard.”

“Hmm.” Romulus seemed to want to find any excuse to drag her away, he signaled his Peacekeepers, “Let’s go.”

It was later that she saw the black smoke rising while she walked with Madge towards the apothecary.

“What…” Madge frowned, “Katniss… is that-”

“The Hob.” Katniss confirmed, “They’re burning down the Hob.”

***

Gale was improving slowly.

He’d lost a lot of blood but the wounds hadn’t gotten infected. 

So on the third day since he’d been whipped, and the sixth day of the Hunger Games, Katniss had decided to try and take a walk through the merchant square, quietly looking around as she tried to make sense of what she’d witnessed on the TV over the past two days.

Seeder was dead, killed by the Careers, but she’d taken down Cashmere with her.

One of the morphlings from District 6 had sacrificed her life, saving Thresh and taking an attack from monkey mutts meant for him.

Johanna had joined Haymitch’s alliance along with Bettee and Wiress, which was… odd to say the least.

Haymitch had started humming a song from time to time, The Capitol Store.

Katniss found herself also quietly humming it as she wandered around the square, receiving quick glances from almost everyone she passed, she was careful to not be loud though.

Eventually, she made it to the Meadow, meeting up with Peeta there, unable to keep herself from running into his arms, clinging to him and drawing back only to pull him into a kiss.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

He nodded along, “How’s Gale?”

“Better… he’s stubborn enough that I think he might be back on his feet today or tomorrow.”

“So soon?”

“He should rest more but… I know he won’t. Not with everything going on.” She hesitated before continuing, “My mom and Clementine Mauve have been making ointments and brews like crazy… they’re preparing for the worst.”

“I think plenty of people are…” Peeta sighed, raising her hands to kiss her knuckles, “Katniss… I don’t know what to do.”

“…neither do I.” She quietly confessed, “…neither do I.”

He cupped her face, gently caressing her cheekbones, “Should we run?”

“I don’t know… I don’t know. I-” she hesitated, then she reached into her pocket, “I went to the Victor’s Village.” She lowered her voice, “This was waiting on Lenore Dove’s piano… I think Cinna or someone else might’ve left it even before we went to the Capitol.”

The message was simple.

‘Not the time for action. Midnight, watch the lightning tree, there’s a plan.

Wait.’

And an inked mockingjay that, if looked at just closely enough had initials hidden in its feathers.

PH.

Peeta gave her a questioning glance, “Heavensbee?”

“Haymitch told me to listen to him.”

“What if it’s a trap?”

“What if it’s not?” Katniss went to bite her nails, Peeta gently stopping her, “Midnight, lighting tree, that’s gotta be from the Games… maybe they really will try to break the Arena again.”

Peeta sighed, nodding along, “Okay… that makes sense. There are few left… eight… it’ll be over soon, if they’re planning something it has to be soon.”

“We’ll wait, if it gets to three tributes and there’s still nothing…. then we’ll see what to do.”

***

It was late at night when Gale stopped by, Prim and her mom were in bed as he winced when he sat down.

“You shouldn’t be up on your feet.” Katniss quietly chastised him.

“We have to do something.”

“Gale-”

“Katniss. If we don’t do something now… it’ll be too late. We have to talk to everyone-”

“Everyone is terrified. Peeta says nearly everyone has practically locked themselves up. They’re building gallows and who knows what other fucking torture devices and- they burned down the Hob.”

“They what?!”

Katniss looked down, “It was yesterday… we didn’t wanna tell you. No one was inside luckily, some of the miners saw them coming.”

Gale said nothing for a long minute.

“We can’t keep living like this.”

“Gale-”

“You’re a Covey Katniss. Don’t let them bury you again.”

“Don’t say that-”

“It didn’t make sense to me at first… your songs but-” he winced when he took a too-deep breath that moved his back and slightly shifted his wounds, wincing even more as he forced himself to stand up, she could practically see the blood staining his bandages, “You changed this place Katniss. You… you could start- fuck I’m pretty sure you did actually start a Revolution in some of the other Districts… you don’t realize the power you have right now… don’t let them take that from you.”

Katniss stayed looking at the floor.

Gale shifted, ignoring Katniss trying to tell him to not move, shifting just enough to properly meet his gaze, “The people of Twelve… they’re going to need a push to rebel… you could give them that push.”

“And what will that push lead to? Don’t you think there’s everything to loose with such little chance of winning?”

“What we’d be fighting for would be worth it… freedom.”

Katniss leaned back in her chair, contemplating as she crossed her arms, she knew he wouldn’t like it if she told him about Heavensbee message, “I don’t think it’s time yet.”

“Then when?”

Katniss tried to come up with an answer, but she trialed off, her eyes going to the screen behind him, “…what are they doing?”

Gale followed her gaze, “What?”

Last she’d checked, Haymitch and his allies had been midway through their plan, or well- Beetee’s plan to electrocute the water as a way to get rid of the remaining Careers, Wiress being killed earlier in the day.

Now-

Haymitch was running, a cut showed Finnick screaming as he searched for Johanna, who was shown to be fighting Enobaria and Gloss, another cut showing Thresh hurriedly trying to work the wire as Beetee tried to give instructions, only half conscious.

“Thresh!” Haymitch quickly kneeled next to him, “What happened?!”

“He was electrocuted, we- we need to get away, or- what can we use?”

Haymitch inspected Beetee, seeming to realize something.

He tapped the dandelion bracelet before going to pick up a spear Beetee had seemingly dropped, going to wrap one end of the wire around it, “Get some distance kid.”

“What are you doing?!”

“Listen to me! Run!”

Thresh took a few steps back but didn’t run.

Haymitch counted under his breath, waiting for… for midnight.

He took aim…

‘But what they don’t realize is…’ he sang as he half snarled and half smiled, ‘That everyone’s a slave at the Capitol Store!’

He threw the spear straight towards the force shield with a defiant scream right as lightning struck, sending him flying, the spear hitting it’s target, the TV being illuminated at in an unbearable way for a split second-

Then the transmission cut out.

‘Please stand by.

Technical Difficulties.’

Katniss and Gale were speechless for a long minute.

“He… he broke the arena.” Katniss whispered in shock, unable to fully believe it, “He actually did it.”

Gale’s breathing started becoming unstable, “Catnip… did the victors just figure out a way to ruin the Games?”

“…yes.”

He reached for her, grabbing her shoulders, all pain forgotten as pure dread and determination took over, “We have to run Katniss. We have to run, right now.”