Chapter Text
“Baby,” Erwin whispers as soon as they step into the car. That was Levi’s cue. He grabs him by the collar and kisses him open mouthed. It’s messy. Desperate. All teeth and breath and tongue. He doesn’t bother with finesse. Just yanks him in like he’s trying to crawl inside his chest. Erwin groans against his mouth, surprised but so fucking ready. His hands come up—one bracing against the steering wheel, the other burying itself in Levi’s hair, anchoring him there, pulling him closer.
“Fuck,” Erwin gasps between kisses. “Levi—what—”
“Shut up.” Levi breathes it against his lips, almost pleading. “Just—shut the fuck up.”
Because he can’t explain it. Doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to say that this test felt like a war, and that he walked into it thinking he was still just a weapon. That he’s still shaking—not from stress but from the sheer fucking magnitude of what Erwin makes him feel. He doesn’t want to say he’s scared. That he’s too happy. That he’s not used to wanting something and getting it without it rotting in his hands. So he kisses him again instead. Erwin groans and pulls him into his lap, the gearshift digging into Levi’s side, but he doesn’t care. He’s straddling Erwin now, arms around his neck, rutting forward like it’s oxygen.
“You’re okay,” Erwin whispers, grounding his hands on Levi’s hips. “You’re okay, baby.”
Levi lets his forehead fall against Erwin’s. His breath is shaky. Shallow.
“I know,” he says. “I just—need to feel it.”
And Erwin—God, Erwin—he kisses him like he knows exactly what he means. Like he’s been waiting for Levi to come undone just like this. Erwin doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t even try to be good.
Because Levi’s already unzipping his hoodie, already tugging his shirt off with one hand, eyes dark and manic and burning. He’s in Erwin’s lap, thighs spread over his, grinding down like he owns the world and is ready to burn it for warmth. Erwin kisses him hard. Filthy. Breathless. Tongues tangling, teeth catching. His hands fly to Levi’s ass—palming, squeezing, guiding—and he rocks up into him, already hard beneath too many layers of clothes.
Levi gasps into his mouth. “Fuck,” he hisses. “You’re already hard?”
“I’ve been thinking about you all morning,” Erwin growls, hips jerking up. “You in that stupid hoodie. That stupid SAT pencil grip. Jesus, Levi—”
Levi unbuttons his jeans without looking. Without asking. “Shut up.”
Levi lets go of him just to yank his own sweats down. He’s not even wearing underwear. Erwin chokes. “Oh my God.”
“You gonna fuck me or just cry about it?” Levi grins, devilish, already reaching for the glove compartment where they stashed lube last week just in case. Erwin’s hands tremble when he slicks his fingers. Levi braces himself against the dash, breathing heavy as Erwin preps him—quick, but careful, because Erwin’s still Erwin.
But Levi’s already shaking. Already losing it. “Now,” he pants. “Now, Erwin—”
Erwin kisses him hard, lifts his hips, and sinks in all at once. Levi breaks. His moan is hoarse and strangled and absolutely unholy. The windows fog up fast. The car rocks. Erwin fucks him deep, steady, greedy. Levi rides him like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered to the goddamn planet.There’s no finesse left. Just sweat and gasps and filthy, filthy praise.
“You’re so tight, baby—fuck—so good—so fucking good—”
Levi bites down on Erwin’s shoulder to muffle his moans. His thighs tremble. His hands clutch Erwin’s shoulders like he’s trying to tear him open. He’s so fucking close.
“Come on,” Erwin growls, thrusting up hard. “Let go. I’ve got you.”
Levi gasps, back arching. “Don’t stop—don’t—don’t stop—”
Erwin doesn’t. He comes with a sob, whole body locking up, spilling between them, onto Erwin’s chest, their clothes, the fucking steering wheel. And Erwin follows seconds after—deep inside him, head buried in Levi’s neck, groaning like Levi just tore the breath from his lungs.
“I’m gonna need to fucking shower,” Levi whispers. Erwin peppers kisses on his neck.
“You’re always incredible, Lee,” Erwin mutters against his jaw. Levi leans into it, too tired to protest. “Always so good for me. My good boy.”
“Mm,” Levi hums. “Kiss me.”
Erwin does. Immediately. Like it’s a command he’s happy to obey. Their mouths meet again, slower this time. Less frantic. All warmth and afterglow and the kind of closeness that makes Levi feel like his ribs aren’t a cage anymore.
“I wanna go home,” Levi whispers against his mouth.
“Then we will.” Erwin brushes the back of his knuckles along Levi’s cheek. “You did good today,” he says quietly, reverently.
Levi snorts, but it’s soft. “You’re just saying that because I rode you into a coma.”
Erwin grins, but he doesn’t deny it. “Can’t a man be proud of both your academic and... athletic performance?”
Levi rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”
But he leans forward anyway, rests his forehead against Erwin’s again. Lets himself be held.
“Home,” he murmurs again, quieter this time.
They go home. Levi marches into the shower as soon as they do, and Erwin follows shortly after. Steam curls into the air, thick and rising fast, fogging the mirror and dampening the walls. Levi’s already under the spray, arms braced against the tile, head bowed beneath the cascade. He doesn’t look up when Erwin slips in behind him. Just exhales. Erwin lathers slow. Tender. Palms against skin like he’s rebuilding Levi from the outside in. He runs the bar down Levi’s spine, careful around bruises not yet bloomed. Levi shudders, but he doesn’t pull away. Erwin presses a kiss between his shoulder blades. Another at the base of his neck. He rinses him, hands patient, reverent. Erwin shifts behind him, smoothing conditioner through Levi’s hair now, combing his fingers through each knot like it’s something sacred. Like Levi is something sacred. And maybe that’s what makes Levi’s breath catch in his throat.
They step out of the shower together. Levi dries his hair with a blowdryer and Erwin with a towel.
“I have to go to work,” Erwin says and plants a kiss on Levi’s forehead. Levi doesn't answer right away. Just keeps blowing his hair dry, eyes on his reflection like he’s pretending not to hear. Like he can delay the moment by sheer will alone. The hum of the dryer masks the silence between them.
“I won’t be long,” Erwin adds gently, resting a hand on Levi’s back. His thumb rubs a slow circle just above the waistband of Levi’s sweats. “A few meetings. I’ll bring back dinner.”
“Get me that garlic thing,” Levi mutters, still not meeting his eyes.
Another kiss—this time to Levi’s cheek. Quick and warm and almost normal.
“You’ll text me if you need anything?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
But as Erwin turns to go, Levi reaches for him—just a light tug at the hem of his shirt. Barely there. Erwin stops immediately.
Levi still doesn’t look at him, but his voice is quieter now. Almost sheepish. “...Thanks. For earlier. For... everything.”
Erwin turns back, cups his jaw, presses one last kiss to his lips—soft, slow, grounding. “Always, baby,” he says. “Always.”
***
“God, Captain, you smell like dick from here,” Pieck sighs dramatically and throws his dobok onto his face. He rolls his eyes.
“I’m fine,” he grunts, reaching for the tape roll to wrap his fingers again, like he’s not still sore in places that have nothing to do with martial arts.
“You’re glowing,” Pieck points out, poking him in the cheek. “And limping. Either you fought God or your boyfriend’s got a monster cock.”
He smirks. He’s feeling mischievous these days. “He does.”
Pieck wheezes. Physically doubles over, clutching her stomach like she’s just been fatally wounded. “Oh my God, Captain—”
They weren’t able to finish the conversation because the kids arrived one by one. Eren does, too. He looks at Levi and he looks apologetic but Levi waves him off. Mouths ‘it’s okay.’ Mikasa offers him a nod, quiet and respectful. Armin waves. Jean’s already mouthing off to Connie across the mat. Sasha has a bag of bread and a mouthful of apology. Everything’s normal. Loud and chaotic and grounding. Levi stretches in the corner while Pieck corrals the early arrivals into warmups. His joints ache in ways that have nothing to do with age or injury. Erwin had been… thorough this morning. And Levi, for once, hadn’t minded being ruined for a bit.
Levi calls, “Line up, brats!” just to shut her up. But the corner of his mouth won’t stop twitching upward. Not all the way to a smile—but close.
God. He’s so fucking in deep.
Pieck whistles from the corner, already setting up cones. “Your boyfriend better have another round in him tonight, Captain. You’re floating.”
Levi picks up a foam bat and throws it at her. She catches it midair like a cat and winks.
The kids spar each other and practice when Levi’s phone buzzes. He takes it out of his pocket.
Erwin: I miss you, darling boy.
“Hey, Captain,” she calls with a grin. “Tell your man he’s not allowed to text you during class. You’re useless when he does.”
Levi shoves her off.
The kids are in pairs now—Eren and Jean predictably trying to kill each other, Sasha giggling as she pins Connie, Mikasa moving with sharp, efficient grace that makes Levi nod in approval. Everything’s in motion. Familiar. Loud.
Levi: i can’t wait to fuck tonight
Erwin doesn’t respond immediately. Levi waits like a fucking housecat.
Erwin: Only if I get to come home to you spread out and waiting.
Levi: ur picking me up. Dumbass
Erwin: Ah, right.
Erwin: Then I’ll take you home. Undress you slowly. Kiss every inch I missed this morning.
Erwin: And then I’ll fuck you.
Levi: u better. im still sore
Levi: but i want u so bad anyway
Erwin: I’ll make it good. Gentle, if you want. Or rougher than this morning. You just have to tell me, darling boy.
Levi swallows. His thighs press together slightly where he’s crouched, elbows on his knees. He types slower now.
Levi: want both
Levi: start soft. ruin me after
Erwin: Jesus Christ.
Erwin: You’re going to be the death of me.
Erwin: I miss you, baby. I can’t wait to fuck you good tonight.
Levi: loser
Levi: pasta
Erwin: Anything you want, darling boy. Pasta, soda, my cock. Anything.
A few hours later Erwin comes to pick him up. He pulls over a few blocks from the gym and enters through the door in a damn shirt that looks so fucking good on him.
“Pieck,” he greets. Then he turns to Levi. Pieck just nods at him. Levi steps out of the gym and steps into the car. Exhausted. Erwin follows shortly after.
Erwin anchors himself on Levi’s headrest as he leans in to bite Levi’s ear. Levi shivers. He fuckin’ shivers. His breath catches like it always does whenever Erwin goes like this—slow and predatory. God. Fucking God. He grips the edge of the seat with one hand, like it might anchor him to the moment. Erwin drags his mouth down to the edge of Levi’s jaw, lips brushing warm against skin, murmuring praises.
“Been thinking about you all day, sweet boy,” Erwin whispers. “Mm. You smell so good,” he says as he sniffs on Levi’s hair.
“Fucking pervert,” Levi hisses. No bite.
Levi tips his head back against the headrest, exposing his throat a little more. His grip on the seat tightens. He can feel the heat curling low in his belly, slow and thick like syrup. He should tell Erwin to cut it out, should shove him off and demand dinner first like a normal fucking person—but Erwin’s mouth is hot and greedy and stupidly tender, and Levi is already half-hard from the way he’s being touched like a secret.
“Jesus, you’re not even trying to be decent.”
Erwin hums, dragging a hand over Levi’s thigh. “I had to spend the whole day pretending I wasn’t picturing you bent over my desk, whimpering.” He bites lightly at Levi’s neck. “Decency’s out the window.”
Levi turns to him this time. Eyes on his. “You want me fuckin’ bad.”
“I do,” Erwin answers without a beat. Kisses Levi with his mouth open. Levi kisses back with the same fuckin’ bite because there’s no way in hell he’s letting Erwin win. Erwin grips on Levi’s thighs. Hard. Upwards. Until he palms on Levi’s groin. Levi gasps.
Erwin grins into the kiss like he’s won something. Like Levi isn’t already burning up in his fucking seat. Like Levi doesn’t already want to crawl into his lap and grind down until they’re both wrecked and begging. But Levi doesn’t back down—he bites Erwin’s bottom lip and pulls, breath sharp against his cheek.
Levi opens his thighs. Puts Erwin’s palm on his groin, pushing it there. He’s already half-hard and Erwin can feel it so. God.
“Jesus,” Erwin breathes. “Baby, you’re not even trying to be good.”
“Was I ever?”
“Good question.”
Erwin works his way with Levi’s sweatpants, pulls it down. Then the boxers. Reveals Levi’s hard cock that if only he wouldn’t potentially break his spine sucking it, he would. Instead, he holds Levi’s cock in his hand. Strokes. Slow. That earns a gasp from Levi. He kisses Levi’s jaw while he’s at it.
“Darling boy, everything about you is pretty. Even your cock, God, you make me go fucking crazy.” Erwin whispers against his neck. He continues to stroke him. Slow. Deliberate. Levi wants to bite his fucking hand off.
“Faster, Ervy, please,” Levi whispers, breathless. Erwin obliges. He strokes faster. Levi’s legs tremble but Erwin kisses him rough on the mouth to keep him grounded.
“Baby, please,” Levi chokes out. That was Erwin’s cue.
“Fuck,” Erwin curses under his breath and mouths at Levi’s throat. “Call me that again, darling boy, will you?”
He tilts his head to give him more room, breath ragged, eyes blown wide.
“You like it that much?” Levi asks, unsteady.
“You have no idea,” Erwin whispers reverently. “Please, Levi. Baby. Please.”
Levi smiles into it. He loves it when Erwin begs.
“Baby,” Levi whispers against his mouth. “Your hands are so fucking clever I want to suck your fingers off, baby,” he lets the last word linger.
Erwin groans like the sound’s been ripped from his chest. He strokes Levi with one finger, teases the tip. Levi inhales sharply.
Levi tilts his head and kisses Erwin’s jaw. “Keep touching me. God. You’re so good to me, baby. You’re everything.”
And with that, Erwin lets go of the headrest and pulls Levi into his mouth. Levi comes in his hand but he doesn’t let go of Levi’s mouth—all tongue, he presses his tongue against Levi’s and tastes him there. Doesn’t pull away. Doesn’t let go like he’s memorizing the way Levi tastes against his mouth. Levi smiles, eyes half-lidded.
“Didn’t know you were a sucker for praise,” Levi teases. “Fuck, Ervy,” he kisses Erwin for a while and pulls away. “You get all stupid when I call you baby.”
“If only you can hear how you sound when you say it,” Erwin says. “Like you’re all fucked out, all pretty, all mine.”
Levi exhales a shaky breath, his hand curling at the back of Erwin’s neck. Just heat. Just affection. Just that low, constant thrum in his chest that only ever happens when Erwin talks like that—like Levi belongs to him. Like it’s fact.
“Take me home, babe.”
“Yes, sir.”
***
Kenny always said there will be only one for them. For him, for Levi—for their kind, that is. Hah. Sounds fuckin’ funny now, real funny. Because Levi had never believed in that kind of thing. One tether strong enough to keep someone like him grounded. Kenny used to talk like it was a curse—like loving someone like that was the beginning of the end. Like once you found them, everything else stopped mattering. Like it made you weak. But maybe Kenny was wrong. Or maybe Levi just got lucky. Maybe it’s not weakness when Erwin looks at him like he’s a goddamn miracle. When he holds him like Levi’s worth saving.
The Underground was, to say the least, what fed him for the longest time. It was a syndicate that fed on people’s dreams but it fed him nonetheless. Kept his mother alive for as long as she was. Hah. Not enough to be fuckin’ grateful for, yeah? Because Levi could’ve been more if he had more. He’d have been the top of his class. Hah. If he doesn’t kill his teacher first, that is. Or if he doesn’t fuck one of his classmates up. Uri had always said he was an excellent student. He would’ve been. Fuck the life he’d been entangled to. God.
But now Erwin’s fuckin’ here, yeah? With his hands on his thigh and squeezing and holding and touching. Hah. Maybe Kenny was fuckin’ right after all. Maybe there really is only one for people like them. God help him if he ever loses his.
He’d fucking kill for him.
“I have somewhere to be today,” Levi whispers while being snuggled up to him. Erwin caresses his face with his knuckles. The sky’s still fuckin’ blue. Like Erwin’s eyes. God. Fuck.
“Okay,” Erwin responds simply. “Should I drive you?”
Levi doesn’t respond. He snuggles closer and Erwin kisses his hair. Everything is so fucking tender it makes Levi sick in a good way. He can’t fucking take it.
“No,” Levi answers a few moments after. Erwin nods. Erwin respects his space like that. Erwin is fuckin’ incredible it makes Levi’s stomach churn. He leans up and kisses Erwin. His Erwin. His, of course. His and only his. “I’ll be quick,” he then promises.
Erwin nods. Levi gets up and strides into the bathroom with his phone. Then he opens it, stares at the damn text.
Unknown: Never pegged you for a cocksucker.
The screen burns.
Levi stares at it—expressionless, breath shallow, chest tight in a way he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. The text is plain. Simple. Like it hadn’t been sent with intent to slice. Like it wasn’t crafted to drag him back down to a version of himself he’s tried to bury under sweat and skin and softness. Under Erwin. Hah. Fuckin’ funny.
He takes a bath. Runs his hands along his hair and scalp. When he gets out of the bathroom, he marches towards the bedroom and sees Erwin still sprawled. He changes into clean clothes. Then he walks towards Erwin, and Erwin receives him so. With a small smile.
“You smell so nice, Lee,” Erwin whispers when he leans in. He kisses Erwin quick and harsh.
“I’ll be quick.”
He won’t be fuckin’ quick.
He travels two hours from Connecticut to New York and curses under his breath. Fuck. When he gets there, he walks to the corner of 8th and 22nd, past the grimy awning of an apartment he’s been trying to forget for years. It’s the kind of place that reeks of piss and resentment, like most of the buildings that shaped him. His jaw is tight. His fists tighter.
He buzzes the intercom. Hands heavy.
A kid opens the door. One who doesn’t give a shit about who comes and goes. Probably a runner for the Underground too. Fuck that.
He knocks on one of the rooms. A woman opens the door. A very, very familiar woman. Fuckin’ Celeste, fuckin’ whore— hah.
“It’s the whoreson,” she says with a grim smile.
“Celeste,” he says with his voice flat. He pushes the door open and steps inside without asking for permission. He doesn’t really need to. Hah. He doesn’t. He’s the best of them all, after all— the best, quick with his feet, and his hands— and, well he’ll be damned. He’s fuckin’ regressing. “You still living like this?” he mutters, stepping past her when she doesn't move to stop him.
“Still pretending you’re better than the rest of us?” she fires back, shutting the door with a sharp click. “Just ‘cause you got some rich cock to ride now?”
Levi doesn’t turn. Just surveys the room with eyes that don’t flinch anymore—gray and cold, taking in the stained walls, the ashtray overflowing on the windowsill, the half-empty bottle of something dark beside a roach trap. It smells like rot. Like memory.
“Still pretending you didn’t beg me to take you with me?” he says, voice low. “When I left.”
Celeste laughs, a thin, sharp thing. “And look how far you’ve gone. What, Greenwich? You got a tidy little condo with a man who kisses your bruises and fucks you slow?”
Levi levels her with a look. “You jealous?”
Celeste steps forward, cigarette flicking ash onto the filthy floor. “I know what the Underground makes of us. I know Kenny carved survival into your bones just like he did mine. And I know someone’s trying to remind you of that.”
He narrows his eyes. “So it wasn’t you?”
She scoffs. “Please. I’ve got better things to do than scare a boy.”
“You think he sent it?”
Celeste pauses. Then leans against the doorframe, smoke curling from her mouth.
“I think Kenny had dirt on all of us,” she says finally. “And if he’s not dead—if some twisted part of him is still watching—it makes sense he’d come after the one that got away.”
Levi’s stomach twists, but he doesn’t let it show. Not here. Not in front of her.
“You think he’s still alive?” he asks.
Celeste meets his eyes, and—for the first time in years—she looks unsure.
“I think,” she says slowly, “if anyone could disappear for a decade and come back just to fuck with the only person he ever gave a shit about… it’d be Kenny.”
Fuckin’ hilarious, ain’t it? Hah. Kenny left him alone and starving and— what, uneducated, he wants to say, but that’s the least of his grievances. And now the bastard is trying to get to him.
“So, Lee,” she starts. “How good is the dick?”
Levi doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even twitch. Just stares at her, deadpan, and flicks his cigarette ash into the same cracked mug on her windowsill he remembers from ten years ago. Same mug. Same place. Like nothing fucking changes in this dump.
Celeste raises an eyebrow. “What, too sacred to joke about?”
He exhales through his nose. “It’s fuckin’ phenomenal,” he says flatly. “Like getting choked out and held at the same time.”
That makes her laugh. A loud, ugly thing. “Shit. Sounds like love.”
Levi shrugs, lips twitching. “Wouldn’t know.”
Levi turns to the door. Starts stepping out.
“Be well, Celeste.”
She watches him go with that same sardonic smirk she’s always worn—like the world owes her something it’ll never pay. But her voice softens just a touch as she calls out, “Hey, Lee.”
He pauses at the threshold. Doesn’t look back.
“You were the best of us all. Don’t forget that.”
Levi scoffs, low and bitter, but he nods once—barely—and walks out. Down the dim hallway that stinks of mold and history, down the cracked stairs that echo with every step like a memory trying to catch up.
His phone vibrates.
Erwin: I love you, Levi.
Well, god damn.
He doesn’t want to go back to his roots. Not with Erwin and his warm, warm arms. He doesn’t. He wants to leave it all alone, buried. He’d clawed his way out. He will not go back.
He takes a bus to the cemetery. Hah. How fuckin’ poetic. Then he gets off near Cypress Hills. Walks the last few blocks in silence, feet crunching over gravel and old leaves. No one really visits this part. No flowers. No names you’d recognize. Just the forgotten. And he sees him—his broad back, quite the opposite of his. And his hat. Always with his fuckin’ hat. In front of a grave.
In loving memory of
KUCHEL ACKERMAN
1974–2009
“Kenny,” he calls out to him. Like he’s not fuckin’ surprised, not at all, that he’d show at this time of all the times he needed him. Hah. That sounds funny now.
Kenny doesn’t turn to him. Just huffs out a laugh. “Well,” Kenny says. “Didn’t think you’d come.”
Levi grimaces. “Didn’t think you’d come out of whatever hole you fuckin’ died in.”
Kenny laughs. “Crawled my way out, kid.”
“That makes the two of us.”
They fall into silence, if you could call it that. It’s not peace—not even close. Just the kind of quiet that exists between two people who know exactly how far the other is willing to go.
“You sent the message,” Levi says. Like it’s fact.
“I didn’t,” Kenny answers shortly. “But I wouldn’t bother you with it. You’ve got a life now. I’ll handle the ghosts.”
Levi’s jaw clenches. His hands curl into fists at his sides, not from fear—he’s not afraid of Kenny—but from rage held too long, too tight. From the way Kenny talks like he’s doing him a fucking favor. Like he didn’t help build the hell Levi had to crawl out of.
“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Kenny says like he fuckin’ does. “Always with that pride of yours, huh? Ah. You were the best of them, after all. Not better than me, ‘course. But better than most. Hmph.” Levi does not say anything to that. “You were mean as hell,” he says, almost fond. “Could gut a man with your eyes by the time you were ten. Shit, you didn’t even flinch when I first put a knife in your hand. You remember that?” He chuckles. “Didn’t even blink. Just held it like it was yours already.” Levi huffs out a laugh at the memory. “Just sayin’, kid, that you were the best of them. You were the best I ever made. My pride and joy.”
Levi clenches his jaw. His heart twists. If not for Erwin he’d have fucked Kenny’s jaw up right then and there. But he stays still. Doesn’t.
Then a pause.
“Uri died,” Kenny starts again. That makes Levi turn to him. Wide-eyed. Kenny watches him flinch like it’s confirmation. Like he knew Levi hadn’t heard. Like he knew it would hit hard. “Yeah,” Kenny says, quieter now. “Cancer. The slow kind. Real ugly. Took him apart piece by piece.” Levi’s lips part, but no sound comes out. His shoulders tighten, breath caught in his throat like it’s lodged somewhere too deep to pull free. “Hah,” Kenny huffs. “They didn’t let me into the funeral.”
“You surprised?”
“Mm, not really. I wouldn’t’ve let me in too,” Kenny laughs at himself. “God damn. I should’ve figured you were a fuckin’ queer too, huh. Makes sense why none of those whores caught your eyes. Runs in the blood, eh?”
Levi’s eyes cut sharp toward him, but he doesn’t bite. Doesn’t take the bait. Not this time.
“Shut the fuck up, Kenny.”
Kenny chuckles low, amused. “I ain’t judging, runt. Not that I can. Hah. Just sayin’ you’ve grown. I left you all alone, see? Gotta make up to my sister somehow.” Kenny says. As earnest as he’s capable of being. “You’ve got a life now. Let’s not lose that. I’ll handle everything that needs to be handled. You’re my fuckin’ blood, after all.”
Levi doesn’t say thank you.
“Careful though, kid,” Kenny says after a beat. “We only get one in this life. Losin’ them? Feels like getting cut yourself in half. Hah.” Kenny exhales smoke. Then Kenny says, “You go home to him. Keep your claws in him, runt. Ain’t many men who can take what we are and still say I love you like they mean it.”
Ah. He’s lost his, after all. There’s a silence that stretches long between them, brittle and taut. Levi doesn’t ask who. He thinks he knows. Thinks it doesn’t matter. Maybe they’re both men shaped by grief they never learned how to carry properly.
“I gotta go,” Levi says shortly. Lips on thin line.
“Back to your prince charming?”
Levi rolls his eyes. But with a twitch tugging on his lips. “Back to my life.”
Kenny laughs out loud. “God damn. Attaboy.”
Levi starts walking away.
“Gotta visit your little white boy soon enough.”
Levi doesn’t turn away. Not that he minds the idea that fuckin’ much. He takes the phone out of his pocket. Texts from Erwin. Clingy little bitch.
Erwin: Do you need me to pick you up?
Erwin: I’ll drop everything. Just say the word.
Then Levi types.
Levi: be home soon
Levi: love you
Levi doesn’t think of Kenny after he leaves.
Levi gets home. Erwin excitedly receives him—tail wagging and all. Hah. Levi pulls him by the collar. Kisses him. Erwin holds him on his back, wraps his big arms around his waist and lifts him. Erwin catches him like he always does—steadily, effortlessly, like Levi’s weight is something he wants to carry. Levi wraps his arms around Erwin’s neck, exhales hard against his throat. He smells like rosemary and soap and home. Fuck.
“Oh, Levi,” he murmurs against Levi’s mouth. “You smell like fucking violence. I love it.” Then he kisses him again.
Levi grunts into the kiss, teeth grazing Erwin’s lower lip. “You’re a goddamn freak,” he mutters.
They land on the couch. Hands all over each other. Levi climbs on top of him. Kisses him hard.
“Missed me?” Levi asks with a sly smirk.
“Desperately,” Erwin answers back reverently. “I get stupid without you,” Erwin breathes. He shifts under him, presses up until Levi’s flush against him, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
Levi hums, tongue tracing the curve of Erwin’s throat. “I got a pretty good fuckin’ guess.”
Erwin chuckles low in his chest and flips them suddenly, pinning Levi beneath him. Levi doesn’t resist. Doesn’t need to. He lets it happen with a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth.
“God, Lee,” Erwin whispers. “I missed you so much. You’ve been gone for ten fuckin’ hours, Jesus…”
Levi laughs and yanks him closer. “Dramatic fuckin’ bitch.” Kisses him anyway.
Erwin groans into the kiss, like Levi’s mouth is the answer to every ache he’s been carrying all day. His hands roam, broad and warm, sliding under Levi’s shirt, greedy for skin. “Yeah,” he murmurs, lips brushing Levi’s jaw. “I’m your dramatic fuckin’ bitch. Yours.”
Levi snorts but it’s breathless now, his smirk softening into something else. Something raw. “Damn right you are,” he mutters, threading his fingers through Erwin’s hair, tugging just enough to make him gasp. “You goin’ feral on me ‘cause I disappeared for a bit?”
“I nearly lost my mind,” Erwin breathes. “You disappear like that again, I’m tying you to the bed next time.”
Levi raises a brow. “Promises, promises.”
Erwin chuckles again, darker this time, and kisses him so hard Levi’s head tilts back against the cushion. “You smell like city smoke and danger,” he says between kisses. “You taste like you’ve been keeping secrets.”
“I keep plenty,” Levi murmurs, dragging his nails down Erwin’s back. “But I’m here now. You gonna make me regret coming home?”
“Never,” Erwin says, voice fierce and adoring all at once. “Never in my fucking life.”
He pulls Levi’s shirt up. Kisses his ribs. Hard. Bruising. Levi moans out. God. Fucking God. Erwin mouths at the sharp edge of Levi’s ribs like he’s starved for it—like Levi is something holy and he’s been fasting too long. His hands splay over Levi’s sides, big and warm, thumbs brushing the underside of his ribs before he presses another kiss there. Open-mouthed. Possessive.
Levi exhales hard, head tipped back against the couch, thighs twitching where Erwin kneels between them. “Fuck,” he mutters, voice ragged. “You’re gonna leave marks.”
He bites this time. Not gentle. And Levi moans—low, cracked, involuntary. His hands fly up to grip Erwin’s shoulders, nails biting through cotton.
“Jesus, baby,” Levi gasps. “You tryin’ to kill me?”
“God,” Erwin breathes, eyes half-lidded now. He peppers kisses on Levi’s abdomen this time, working his way with the pants. “I love it when you call me that, baby.”
Levi’s breath stutters. He fists the cushion beneath him as Erwin undoes his waistband with practiced ease, dragging it down slow. Purposeful. His knuckles brush Levi’s skin, and Levi twitches—half from want, half from how goddamn much he feels like he’s being worshipped.
“You’re insufferable,” Levi whispers, breath shaky. “You get off on this?”
Erwin kisses the jut of Levi’s hip. Looks up through blond lashes with a smirk that should be illegal. “On you?” he murmurs. “Always.”
Erwin leans in and presses his mouth lower, so close Levi shudders. His voice is a rasp now, barely held together. “Fucking hell, Erwin. Baby. Oh God.”
“Mmm,” Erwin hums, kissing along the inside of Levi’s thigh now. “Tell me what you want, baby.”
“Please,” Levi pleads, gone now. “Please, Ervy. My baby. My love,” God, he hears himself and he shudders.
Erwin stills—just for a moment. Just to breathe that in. My baby. My love. He looks up again, and this time his expression isn’t teasing. It’s fucking reverent.
“Christ, Levi,” he says, voice rough with adoration. “You wreck me.”
Then he leans in and mouths at him properly—deep, wet, slow. Like he’s starving. Like Levi’s the first real thing he’s ever tasted. Levi’s thighs twitch, his head falls back against the cushions, and his hand finds its way into Erwin’s hair, gripping tight.
“God—fuck, baby—” Levi gasps, already trembling. “You’re so fucking good, you’re so—”
Erwin hums again, pleased, and the vibration nearly makes Levi sob. He’s falling apart fast, embarrassingly fast, and Erwin just keeps going, hands firm on Levi’s hips, thumbs pressing into the bone like he’s claiming every inch of him.
“Say it again,” Erwin murmurs between licks. “What am I, Levi?”
Levi chokes on a moan. “Mine,” he says. “Mine, mine, mine—baby, please—”
Erwin groans into him, and Levi comes undone. Levi’s body arches off the couch, spine taut, one hand fisted in Erwin’s hair, the other clawing blindly at the cushions. His orgasm tears through him, raw and consuming, and Erwin doesn’t let up—not for a second. He holds Levi steady, mouth still on him like he’s trying to memorize the way Levi falls apart. When it’s done—when Levi’s chest is heaving and his skin is flushed and glowing—Erwin finally pulls back. His mouth is slick, his expression wrecked in the best way. He looks up at Levi like he’s the answer to every fucking question.
“Come here,” he tells Erwin, eyes lidded and voice raspy. Erwin obliges eagerly so. Erwin crawls up, settles between Levi’s legs, and kisses him—slow this time. Like they’re making up for the hours apart. Like they’ve got nowhere else to be but here, in the heat of each other’s mouths.
“Next time,” Levi whispers against his lips, “I’m riding you the second I get home.”
Erwin hums, already smiling. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
A beat.
“I met Kenny today,” Levi says after a while.
Erwin doesn’t react. He continues to draw circles on Levi’s hip. It’s like he knows. Hah. Of course he fuckin’ knows, alright— that big brain of his always fuckin’ knows Levi. Sometimes better than Levi knows himself.
Levi doesn’t talk about all the details of their conversation. He does talk about one thing, though.
“You know,” he starts. “Kenny had always said there’s only one for us. That we only get one shot our whole fuckin’ lives and that’s because we are what we are. Ackermans. I didn’t understand what that meant at first.”
Erwin’s hand stills for a second, then resumes its slow, grounding motion—warm circles against Levi’s skin like he’s trying to draw comfort directly into his body.
Levi exhales, gaze fixed somewhere above Erwin’s shoulder. “I thought he was being dramatic. That it was just some Underground bullshit about blood and violence and loyalty. That we’re too fucked up for anything soft to last. That if we ever loved someone—for real—it’d ruin us.”
Erwin starts planting soft kisses on Levi’s face and jaw like he knows where this is going. Fuckin’ big brain of his.
“Kenny lost his. He looked terrible today,” Levi says like it’s fact. “Like he lost half his fuckin’ soul.”
Erwin doesn’t say anything—just pulls Levi closer until there’s no space between them, until Levi can feel every inhale, every heartbeat. He kisses Levi’s temple this time. Then his cheek. Then the corner of his mouth. Gentle. Wordless.
“I think he regrets it,” Levi continues, voice quieter now. “Not just what he did. Not just the way he left me. But... not protecting it. That one thing. Uri.” His voice catches, but he pushes through. “He said losing him felt like being cut in half.”
Then another pause. He faces Erwin and kisses him full mouth. No bite.
“Don’t fuckin’ go anywhere, Ervy,” Levi whispers quietly. “I think maybe he was fuckin’ right. That we only get one shot at this and if we ever lose it we’re gone. Hah. Sounds funny now, but God…”
Erwin breathes in like he’s trying to memorize the shape of the moment, the taste of Levi’s mouth, the way Levi says God like it’s a prayer and a curse in one breath. His fingers press deeper into Levi’s back—not to hurt, just to hold.
“If I ever wake up and you’re gone I’ll fucking hunt you down and kill you and bring you back to life just to fuckin’ kiss you,” Levi says and kisses Erwin, harshly this time. “I fuckin’ swear it, Ervy.”
Erwin laughs, breath hitching against Levi’s mouth. It’s not mocking. It’s not even amused. It’s overwhelmed—that Levi can say shit like that with a straight face, with all the weight in the world behind it.
“Baby,” Erwin breathes, forehead resting against Levi’s. “I believe you. God help me, I really do.”
“You better,” Levi mutters, hands curling into Erwin’s hair, grounding himself. “You better fuckin’ believe me.”
“I do. I do, Levi,” Erwin says, and it sounds like a vow. Like a man who knows what it means to be chosen by someone who has never chosen anything soft in his life. “I’m yours. I’ve been yours.”
They kiss again. Slow this time. Softer. A sealing of promises neither of them know how to say out loud without sounding like lunatics. Like lovers too far gone to ever come back from this.
“God, Levi,” Erwin whispers and holds Levi on his back. Pulls them closer. “I fucking love you, Levi, you ought to know that.”
“I’d fuckin’ kill you if you ever stopped.”
***
Levi falls asleep on Erwin—cheek pressed to his chest, breath soft, lashes twitching with dreams Erwin can only hope aren’t nightmares. His hand is curled loosely around Erwin’s shirt, like some part of him still thinks he might vanish if he lets go. Erwin doesn’t sleep. He stares at Levi’s face—so still now, so calm—and fuck. He wants to kiss him. Even now. Rough. Tongue. Wake him up and fuck him. Wants to hold him by the waist until he’s writhing and begging. But he doesn’t. The want is always there—but Levi has trusted him with his sleep. He’d kill any fucking thing that’d disturb Levi’s sleep right now. He’d burn the rest of the world if he has to.
So instead of kissing him awake, he brushes his thumb over the curve of Levi’s shoulder. Memorizes the shape of him. Catalogs the small scar near his collarbone, the faint crease between his brows, the way his lips part with each soft breath. He traces that crease gently, like smoothing it could undo every hurt that ever carved it there. But it stays. It always does. Because Levi was made in fire, shaped by violence and abandonment and the kind of hunger that doesn’t end just because your stomach’s full.
Erwin doesn’t think he deserves any of it. Being it for Levi. But hell be damned. He’ll fucking take it. And if anyone takes that from him, they’ll have to pry it out of his fuckin’ fists.
He plants a kiss on Levi’s forehead. Levi twitches. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Then Levi opens his eyes. “You’re still awake,” Levi says, voice hoarse.
“I woke you,” Erwin responds apologetically. “I’m sorry, Levi. Will you go back to sleep, darling boy?”
Levi pulls him in. Kisses him. Fuck. Erwin groans into it. God, Levi’s going to kill him.
“You talk too much when you’re feelin’ things,” Levi murmurs against his mouth. His voice is gravel-soft, raw with sleep and tenderness. “It’s fuckin’ sweet. Makes me crazy.”
“Ah,” Erwin exhales into his mouth. “Do I, now?”
Levi nods slowly, lips brushing Erwin’s with the motion. “Yeah. You get all poetic and shit. Like you’re tryna carve a fuckin’ sonnet into my ribs.”
“Oh, baby,” Erwin breathes and kisses him again. Now he’s fucking awake, there’s no need to hold back. “You’re fucking irresistible, did you know that?”
Levi huffs a breath, somewhere between a scoff and a moan, fingers tightening in Erwin’s hair. “You’re worse than a drunk poet,” he mutters, but there’s no real venom in it. Just heat. Just affection so intense it frays the edge of his voice. “You keep talkin’ like that, I’m gonna ride you ‘til the sun comes up.”
Erwin groans—deep and reverent—and it punches straight through his chest. “God, Levi. Please.”
Levi laughs, low and dangerous. “Yeah?” he murmurs, mouth trailing along Erwin’s jaw. “That what you want, baby?”
Erwin’s hands slide down his waist, possessive. “Always. Want you any way you’ll give yourself to me.”
“You already fuckin’ have me,” Levi growls, voice thick now. “Body, soul, fucked-up past and all. So lie down and take it.”
And Erwin does—gladly, breathlessly—as Levi shifts over him like he owns the night, like there’s nothing left in the world but the press of skin and the sound of their names gasped against each other’s mouths. Levi grins against Erwin’s mouth—sharp, dangerous, almost smug. “Good boy,” he murmurs, dragging his nails down Erwin’s chest as he sits back, straddling him proper now. His thighs bracket Erwin’s hips, steady and sure. “Takin’ orders so well tonight.”
Erwin groans, head falling back against the pillow, hands clenching at Levi’s sides like he might disappear if he’s not held down. “Only for you,” he breathes. “Only ever for you, Levi.”
Levi rolls his hips once—slow, just to watch Erwin stutter. He leans forward, presses his mouth to Erwin’s throat, and speaks like sin: “I know. That’s why I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve.”
And then everything’s heat. Erwin’s voice breaks on a gasp when Levi grinds down again, firmer this time, setting a rhythm that’s all teeth and reverence. There’s nothing tentative now—just raw, aching want. Skin slapping skin. Mouths open and panting. Hands roaming like they’re mapping something holy.
“Fuck, Levi—God, baby—” Erwin’s hands are everywhere, desperate, worshipful.
“Don’t you fuckin’ look away,” Levi growls, breath hot against Erwin’s jaw. “You look at me when you fall apart.”
Erwin does—eyes wide and dazed, blue gone nearly black with need. “Levi,” he gasps, like it’s a confession, a prayer, a fucking surrender. And maybe it is. He clings to Levi like he’s the last thing tethering him to the world, and maybe he is. Levi fucks him like he means it—like he owns him, like he’s earned it, like he’s paying back every soft word and every desperate cry Erwin’s ever made into his throat. He rides him deep and slow, every roll of his hips deliberate, almost cruel in how precise it is.
“You like that?” Levi hisses, nails biting into Erwin’s chest, dragging red marks down his skin. “Hah. You love it when I take you apart like this.”
“Y-Yes, fuck, yes—” Erwin is babbling now, lost in it, voice cracking on every word. “Yes. Yes. Levi, fuck. My darling. My sweetest boy, mine ever. Ah— fuck, God, God, you’re going to kill me, sweetheart— ah—”
“Yeah?” Levi grits out, breath stuttering, sweat dripping down his temple as he rolls his hips again—slow, punishing. “You gonna die like this, baby? Gonna die on my cock?”
Erwin gasps, trembling beneath him, arms locked tight around Levi’s waist. “F-Fuck—don’t stop. Don’t ever stop—please, Levi—”
And Levi laughs—low, dangerous, a sound born from pride and lust and the knowledge that Erwin is completely, utterly his. “Look at you,” he breathes, leaning in to lick a stripe up Erwin’s neck. “Begging so fucking pretty. Bet you’d let me ruin you all night.”
Erwin can’t even speak—just moans, back arching as Levi rides him harder now, the slap of skin filling the room, the couch creaking beneath them. Levi presses their foreheads together again, his voice shaking now, near a growl. “You belong to me. You hear me, Erwin?”
“Yes,” Erwin gasps, panting, eyes glassy. “Yes, Levi—yours—always yours—”
Levi’s rhythm falters for just a second as heat coils tight in his gut, too close, too much, too fucking good. “Say it again.”
“I’m yours,” Erwin chokes out, shaking. “I’m yours, Levi. Only ever yours. I love you. I love you—I love you—”
That does it. Levi bites down on Erwin’s shoulder, hard enough to mark, and comes with a shudder that racks through him like a quake. Erwin follows seconds later, gasping Levi’s name like it’s salvation.
“Ervy,” Levi whispers. Mouth trailing on Erwin’s jaw.
“You’re fuckin’ it for me.”
Erwin pulls him in. Kisses him long.
God.
Erwin thinks he must be like him, because there’s only one shot in it for him too. And Levi, Levi’s it for him too—in all the most unhinged fucking ways. And if— if Levi were to leave, God, he’d never be fucking whole again. He’d be a holed man walking. Ah.
But Levi isn’t going anywhere. Not really. Not when he’s all sweaty and exhausted above him.
Levi falls asleep next to him. Erwin almost cries. Almost. God. He’s too far fucking gone.