Chapter Text
Julian wakes when Aiden’s body stiffens, a clear indicator that he’s on edge. Forced to come to his senses quickly, Julian sits up and listens as a single pair of footsteps come closer. There is no way of telling how long Julian has been out, but he feels well rested enough to assume that it’s morning. Aiden sits up as well, a warning growl rumbling from deep in his chest as Eskel comes into view.
Staring curiously, Julian watches as Eskel settles down into a wooden chair that he carried with him, facing the cell. He isn’t close enough to touch, but it’s clear that he wants to have a chat. Julian sighs and pets Aiden until he stops with his growling before getting them both to stand. Then, as an afterthought, Julian drags the mattress toward where Eskel is and sits on it. Predictably, Aiden follows, and all but wraps himself around Julian protectively.
Letting out a small, amused huff, Julian meets Eskel’s gaze.
“Well?”
“Good morning, Julian. Aiden.”
Julian gives Eskel a small smile before greeting him..
“Good morning.”
“Since Yenn won’t be coming down here anytime soon, I figured we could do this the old fashioned way.”
“I see. What method of torture will you be conducting?”
Julian’s words are full of defensive snark, but Eskel’s face still looks momentarily pained. That, and Aiden’s limbs squeeze him tighter for a moment, as if saying that he will protect Julian at all costs.
“No torture. I’m sure you know witchers can hear lies, so I will be asking you questions and you will give me answers. Simple enough, yes?”
“Where would Geralt go if he needed to hide?”
“Who are Geralt’s allies?”
“Where. Is. Geralt.”
“He doesn’t know. The witcher discarded him months ago.”
“Break him. We’ve no need for a bard. The witcher will not come for him.”
Not trusting his voice for a moment, Julian nods instead.
“I’ll need a verbal response for this.”
“...Alright.”
“Good. We’ll start off simple. Are you the same Dandelion who used to travel with Geralt?”
Dandelion is dead, forty years dead and dusted, but Julian knows what Eskel is really asking.
“Yes.”
“Are you the same Julian who mated with Aiden?”
“We… haven’t technically mated, but yes, I am Julian.”
Eskel seems surprised by this information, eyes sliding to Aiden for a moment before flicking back to Julian.
“I see. You came from Nilfgaard. Are you a spy for our enemies?”
“I am no friend of Nilfgaard and I am no spy.”
Julian’s words ring true, and yet Eskel doesn’t relax. He’s clearly thinking hard about something, his lips pursed and brows furrowed.
“...Do you have the ability to lie without me knowing?”
It’s a fair question, though Julian isn’t pleased to hear it. Contrary to popular belief, most fae have the capability to lie. However, lying goes against everything they stand for; and it can cause physical discomfort or pain when utilized. Julian prefers his half truths and lies of omission over blatantly lying, though he knows that he’ll have to do so now to prove a point. Sighing, he considers his next words carefully before responding.
“I believe that grass grows pink, the sun shines at night, and that three moons hang in the sky.”
Julian swallows back bile, keeping his face passive as Eskel nods in approval.
“I’ll ask again; Do you have the ability to lie without me knowing?”
“No, I do not.”
“Good.”
Honestly, this is the most lackluster interrogation Julian has ever been through. He relaxes back against Aiden, comfortable in Eskel’s presence. If this is how all of Eskel’s questions will be, Julian should have nothing to worry about.
Of course, the moment that Julian relaxes is when Eskel’s questions get heavier.
“Forty years ago, you disappeared without a trace. Many, including skilled chaos users, searched for you to no avail. Where did you go?”
The fact that people looked for Julian is unsurprising. However, Julian can’t help but wonder who all tried to find him. Aiden, most definitely. Though, Eskel said chaos users attempted to find him as well. It’s almost laughable to imagine Yennefer going out of her way to find Julian and at the thought of her, he bites back a frown. Julian has to remind himself that he is answering these questions so that Yennefer doesn’t have to go digging into his skull.
“...Nilfgaard captured me.”
Both Aiden and Eskel shift slightly at those words, clearly interested in what Julian might say next.
“How did Nilfgaard capture you?”
Isn’t that such a grand question? How wonderful, that Julian should have to admit this.
“It was stupidity on my part. I became separated from Aiden and got lost in a forest in the middle of Kaedwen. I didn’t hear a portal open. I still don’t know how Nilfgaard tracked me down. All I know is that they – he found me. He found me and– and I went with him.”
“Do you know who this man was?”
Anxiety, sharp and instant, swarms Julian before he can stop it.
“Rience, that was quick.”
“Yes, well. He decided to come willingly, like a good little bird.”
“I-I’m sorry, I think I’m done for now.”
He knows that both witchers can smell the emotions on him and Eskel nods, not fighting the declaration. Instead, he stands and steps away to give Julian some room.
“I’ll bring some breakfast down for both of you. I’m not done asking questions, but we can take a break.”
Julian thanks Eskel quietly as the witcher leaves the room before refocusing his attention on Aiden.
“You okay, kitty cat?”
“...Mnn. It’s hard for me to talk. It’s the mutagens – I’m fighting against madness. Shit comes and goes in waves.”
“Can I help?”
“You being here is more than enough. As long as I stay attached to you like this, I won’t drift away.”
Aiden’s answers explain why he’s been acting like this. It satisfies Julian for now and, knowing it’s hard for Aiden to talk, he opts to remain silent as well. A part of him wishes that he had his lute so that he could play something for Aiden. It would likely calm both of their nerves, but Julian has no idea where his things have been taken. Instead, he begins to hum a soft lullaby, feeling how Aiden bodily leans into him at the sound.
It’s not long before Eskel returns, though he isn’t alone this time. A young human woman follows with a couple of plates of food and Eskel balances his own plate in one hand as he unlocks the cell door. Knowing better than to make any sudden movements, Julian gives the woman a small smile and gently takes both plates from her. She doesn’t seem particularly scared, but Julian would hate to give her reason to be.
Once the cell door is locked again, Eskel sits.
“Thank you, Jane. I’ll send for you if I need anything else.”
“Of course.”
Absurdly, Jane curtsies before leaving. Julian gives Eskel a questioning look at that, but he merely shrugs, seeming uncomfortable at the action. Perhaps being a member of whatever was going on in the meeting Yennefer teleported Julian into means Eskel has a title of some sort. Still, he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would demand respect. If anything, he’s slowly earning Julian’s trust by being honest and kind.
The realization isn’t all that surprising, to be honest. Julian has an affinity for endearing himself to witchers. That Eskel might soon be among their number has Julian’s mood shifting. Despite the shit circumstances, he might come out of this cell with a new friend. It’s a nice thought in a place where few of those exist, and Julian smiles to himself, allowing a fantasy of him getting closer not only to Eskel, but other witchers as well to overcome him.
Julian and Eskel eat, though it quickly becomes clear that Aiden isn’t going to do the same. Letting out a small huff, Julian gets a bit of egg onto his fork and brings it to Aiden’s lips. It takes several moments of consideration before Aiden takes the bite, but then it’s much easier after that. Julian takes turns between feeding himself and Aiden until both of their plates are empty. Eskel says nothing, but Julian gets the impression that he’s a bit amused by the display.
Setting their plates through the cell bars onto the floor, Julian leans back against Aiden before giving Eskel a serious look.
“Ask your questions.”
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
“No, but I never will be.”
Julian needs to be brave in order to get out of this cell.
Much to his surprise, Eskel doesn’t immediately ask about Rience again.
“Why did you and Geralt separate?”
Somehow, the question is so much worse. Julian would much prefer talking about that fire fucker than discuss with Eskel about the pieces of his broken heart.
“Hasn’t Geralt told you?”
“Yes, but you know how he is with words. I want to know your version of events.”
Desperately, Julian tries to deflect again.
“What does this have to do with me potentially being a Nilfgaard spy?”
“It doesn’t. Consider it me trying to figure out why Geralt tried to kill you in the middle of a council meeting.”
“He wasn’t trying to kill me.”
Julian says it automatically and without thought. True, he knows exactly what Geralt looks like when he’s about to kill something, and Julian found his expression to be lacking that spark. That doesn’t mean that Julian wants to reveal his hand to Eskel like this. However, it’s far too late to backtrack, and instead, Julian decides to commit. He meets Eskel’s eyes, expression calm as the wolf considers him.
“You believe that. It’s why you didn’t smell like fear, even as he drew his sword on you.”
“I have seen enough of the world to know when to be scared.”
“...Fair enough. This brings me back to my original question. You followed Geralt for twenty years. What changed?”
What changed, indeed. Julian shifts through his memories, pushing away the torture that’s so recent in his mind in order to delve into the heavy heartbreak underneath. Yes, the Mountain is why they separated, but it was merely the final drop that made the cup overflow. It was so much more than the Mountain and Julian didn’t realize until after Geralt took his heart and stomped on it so thoroughly.
“Well, we had a miscommunication – one that Geralt decided to clear up.”
“Can you elaborate?”
Sensing Julian’s upset, Aiden’s arms briefly tighten around him. It’s a reminder that Julian isn’t alone, and he appreciates it. No matter what happened with Geralt, Julian is loved now and always will be. Remembering this is enough to calm Julian’s apprehension of talking about this. There is nothing Geralt can do or say now that will hurt him. Julian meant what he said to Eskel. The great white wolf does not scare him.
“I love easily.”
It is spoken softly, though Julian knows that Eskel and Aiden can both hear him.
“For twenty years, I loved Geralt. I gave him everything I had, including my entire career. I convinced myself of our friendship, not realizing that he did not feel the same. I was an annoyance at best and a burden at worst, but I viewed each interaction through rose tinted glasses. It wasn’t until… It wasn’t until the Mountain that I learned the truth.”
“What happened on the Mountain, Julian?”
If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!
The words, once so acutely painful, rattle inside Julian’s head. He doesn’t know if he’ll have the strength to say them, but he knows he has to try. Julian must spell out the extent of his own stupidity, as well as Geralt’s assholery. It will be up to Eskel and Aiden to decide who was in the wrong, even if Julian has already decided Geralt to be the offending party. If there is one thing that Aiden has taught him, it’s that Julian deserves better.
“...Geralt told me that for twenty years, all I’ve succeeded in doing is shoveling shit all over his life. He told me that.. He told me that if life could give him one blessing, it would be to take me off his hands.”
There is a low growl and, much to Julian’s surprise, it doesn’t come from Aiden.
Julian gives Eskel a smile, though he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Let me guess, Geralt failed to mention that part? For someone so shit at words, he sure was eloquent that day. Left me to descend that damned Mountain by myself. I haven’t seen him since – minus yesterday, of course.”
“Julian, I’m sorry that–”
“What are you apologizing for? You are not Geralt’s keeper. He made his decision and while it nearly killed me at the time, I survived.”
There is a pause where Eskel clearly reigns himself in, and Julian takes the chance to turn his head to check on Aiden. His witcher is clearly upset by this information, but not like Eskel is. Aiden had forty years to come to terms with the fact that Geralt was the one to hurt Julian. While the actual words said are new, the pain and anger are not.
“... We’ve gotten off track. Earlier, you said you became separated from Aiden. What happened?”
Aiden responds before Julian can get a word in edgewise.
“There was a misunderstanding.”
“I would hardly call what happened a misunderstanding, my dear witcher. I lied and then paid the price for doing so.”
“You never lied to me. I would have heard it.”
“Ah, but I still kept the truth from you.”
It’s close to an apology, but neither of them quite make it that far before Eskel interrupts.
“Aiden?”
“I brought Julian to meet Lambs. He recognized Julian as Dandelion – a correlation that I hadn’t made despite months of staying with him. A nasty fight broke out between Lambs and Julian – one I couldn’t stop because I had been fighting off madness for days. Julian ended up leaving, and Lambs restrained me so that I couldn’t go after him. By the time both Lambs and I had calmed down, Julian was gone.”
“Is that what happened, Julian?”
Giving Eskel a wry smile, Julian recalls what happened clear as day.
“I do believe Lambert insinuated I was a witcher’s whore and blamed me for whatever piss poor mood Geralt was in the previous winter, but yes, that’s essentially what happened.”
A pause and then–
“And don’t either of you try to apologize for Lambert’s behavior, either. He can apologize to me himself later. Speaking of… where is he?”
For a horrible moment, Julian fears that Lambert has somehow passed away, but he doesn’t sense any discomfort from either witcher.
“He’s away on a reconnaissance mission. It was decided that we won’t be calling him back until this is resolved.”
“What you mean to say is you don’t want Lambert coming back to a half mad Aiden curled around a witcher’s whore.”
“Hey.”
Aiden’s voice is chastising, and Julian sighs, giving him an apologetic look.
“Sorry, dear. I promise I’ll play nice once he returns.”
“Thank you.”
Eskel clears his throat, and Julian looks back at him, brows raised in expectation.
“I think that’s enough for now. Next time we talk, I’d like to ask about Nilfgaard, so please prepare yourself for that.”
“Great. Wonderful. Can’t wait.”
“And for what it’s worth, I am sorry for my brothers’ abhorrent behavior. I promise we’re not all like this.”
Despite himself, Julian lets out a small laugh.
“Oh, I know. You’re a delight, Eskel. I look forward to our next talk.”
Eskel smiles, a genuine smile that brightens Julian’s day somewhat.
“I’ll see you for lunch.”
The plates are gathered, and then Eskel departs, leaving Julian and Aiden alone. The silence is comfortable, but Julian can tell that there’s something on Aiden’s mind. They sit together, cuddled close, and a part of Julian is tempted to doze off like this. The past day – fuck, past half of a year has been stressful. He deserves some rest after everything, even if he did technically sleep away forty years.
“...Julian?”
“Hm..?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were Dandelion?”
Julian is glad that Eskel isn’t here. While he is learning to trust the witcher, there are some things that he would prefer to be for Aiden’s ears only. Julian thinks for a moment about how he wants to phrase things, knowing that he wants to be honest. His cat deserves the truth, and that’s what Julian will give, if only he could find the proper words to express himself.
“...When I met you, I didn’t want to be Dandelion anymore. Dandelion was a heartbroken fool. I’ve always used Julian in places where I didn’t want to be associated with Geralt – like the Court of Cintra. Julian wasn’t – isn’t tainted by what Geralt has done to me. That’s who I wanted, and want, to be with you.”
“...I think I understand. Thank you, sunshine, for trusting me with this.”
Julian’s heart flutters at the familiar endearment.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t entirely honest before.”
“I forgive you. You had a good reason to bury Dandelion like you did.”
“Thank you, kitty.”
Turning his head to look at Aiden, Julian sees only love in his witcher’s expression. It is raw and whole, and Julian is certain that the same expression is reflected on his own face. When Aiden leans in ever so slightly, Julian closes the distance without a thought. They kiss chastely, lips chapped and clumsy. Despite it not being their first kiss, it somehow feels like one. It feels like a promise and the beginning of something new.
Julian only hopes that what they forge will be enough to keep them together this time.
Forty years passed in the human realm. Aiden aged forty years without Julian. It hurts to think of all the hardships Aiden surely went through without him. Julian should have been here, but he wasn’t. The only way to rectify such a grievous hurt is to be here for Aiden now, in whatever form that might take. Julian has no idea what the future will hold, but he’s going to try his hardest to ensure he doesn’t lose that much of Aiden’s life ever again.
+=+=+
As promised, Eskel comes back for lunch. Jane serves them their plates, curtsies, and then leaves. They eat in silence and Aiden actually holds his own plate this time. Ever since their conversation, Aiden has slowly been coming back to himself. While Julian can tell that he’s not all here yet, Aiden is well on his way. It’s a relief, though Julian also knows that the conversation they’re about to have might very well revert the progress that’s been made.
Once they’re finished eating, Eskel fixes Julian with a gentle look.
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
“You said that you were captured by Nilfgaard. However, you also said that a man found you and you went with him. Did he trick you?”
“…No, he didn’t.”
“Did he threaten you?”
Julian thinks about the single, innocent flame that Rience had produced in that forest.
“Not with words.”
“Do you know his name? What he looked like? Any important details about him?”
Closing his eyes, Rience is all he can see. Anxiety gut punches him and Julian grits his teeth. He can say his name, just like he said Geralt’s name. Once spoken, their hold lessens. That is what Julian has learned, and he needs to be brave now. He needs to tell Eskel this and then hopefully the worst of it will be over. Opening his eyes again, Julian knows he must smell desperate and wild.
“His name was Rience. He knew how to wield fire chaos.”
Julian sees recognition in Eskel’s expression, and he has to ask. He has to know–
“Does he yet live?”
“You don’t know?”
“I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
Eskel pauses, and Julian has a feeling that he’s accidentally showing his ignorance. If Rience is famous somehow, whether alive or dead, Julian ought to know about it. The fact that he’s asking means something significant, though it’s up to Eskel to make assumptions.
“He’s alive. Nilfgaard keeps its mages close.”
“I assume Fringilla is still alive as well, then?”
For some reason, Fringilla’s name falls easier from Julian’s tongue. Perhaps it is because he is still sound of mind. Fringilla wasn’t the one to break him. She couldn’t get past Julian’s walls, and she ultimately gave up, throwing him to the wolves instead. No, Rience is the one Julian is most afraid of, but that doesn’t mean he’s about to let any sorceress – especially Yennefer – into his head. He refuses to go through such a violation again.
“Yes, she is. How do you not know this?”
Julian stares at Eskel, letting the silence stretch between them for an uncomfortable amount of time until he finally gives up on the question altogether.
“…Right. What did they want with you? After all, you are just a bard, correct?”
Julian is so much more than just a simple bard, but Rience and Fringilla never found that out, and neither will Eskel nor Aiden.
“They wanted information – things that they thought I knew, but didn’t.”
“Did they torture you?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you look not a day past twenty five without a single blemish on you.”
The comment is wholly unexpected and Julian reels backward bodily in shock. Somehow, someway, he had forgotten that this was an interrogation. Eskel is not his friend – he is a protector of Kaer Morhen. He is pretending to be friendly to get information out of Julian, and he’s played the game well. Julian just walked right into Eskel’s hands, and he feels a stab of hurt sharp enough that Aiden places a steadying hand on his shoulder.
Silence follows the accusation, and Julian doesn’t know what to say.
“If they tortured you, where are your scars? If they tortured you, how did you escape? Things aren’t adding up, Julian. Please, help me understand what happened.”
Julian lets out a disbelieving laugh.
“You think that just because I hold no visible scars that I haven’t been tortured? Fringilla doesn’t need to break fingers in order to get what she wants.”
“Fringilla leaves her victims as brain dead vegetables.”
Another corner and Julian is trapped. He is trapped, and he doesn’t know what to say. Aiden doesn’t come to his defense, because what could he say to get Eskel to back off? This is information that they both need in order to ensure that Kaer Morhen stays safe.
“Did you strike a deal with Nilfgaard?”
“No.”
“What information did they want?”
“They wanted–“
Julian cuts himself off, trying to stave off the growing panic inside of him. The questions keep coming and he knows he’s going to slip up eventually. Aiden’s grip tightens, but the contact doesn’t help. Nothing and no one will be able to help Julian out of this hole that he’s found himself in. Eskel will bury him in this cell and leave him to die. The thought has Julian in near hysterics, but Eskel still doesn’t stop.
“Answer the question, Julian.”
The dam breaks open.
“They wanted Geralt! Is that what you wanted to hear? They wanted the damn white wolf on a pike, and neither of them bothered telling me why.”
“And did you tell them?”
Letting out a wounded laugh, Julian nods his head in a wild manner.
“I did. They took everything related to Geralt from me. They ripped it from my mind and left me to rot. Is that what you want to hear, Eskel? Truly?”
“You’re lying. What are you lying about? Why?”
The accusation comes like a slap, but Julian realizes that Eskel is right. There are things related to Geralt that he kept secret – if only to protect other people. Julian’s wall of sticky honey subconsciously chose what to hide, and he trusted it to do its job, which it did.
“…I did not tell them about Kaer Morhen. I did not let them know about Ciri.”
“Why not?”
“Ciri was… she was mine to protect. Geralt wanted nothing to do with her, but I visited every year and as often as I could. I was her mentor, and she was my ward. Ciri would have been worth dying for, and I nearly did. I thought I would die in that room, but they never learned a thing about Ciri.”
Eskel stares at Julian and, for once, he can’t discern what emotion might be playing behind his scarred mask.
“And Kaer Morhen? Why protect this place?”
This answer comes even easier, and Julian looks at Aiden, relieved to find his witcher’s expression not guarded like Eskel’s.
“Aiden is also mine to protect. I knew he would winter here with Lambert. I would sooner let Rience burn me down to the bone before he and Fringilla ever learned of Aiden’s existence.”
“You gave up Geralt in order to protect others who are more precious to you.”
It’s not a question, but Julian nods anyway.
“…Where have you been the past forty years?”
“I was sleeping.”
It’s the truth, and Eskel’s eyes widen a fraction.
“Is that why you still look so young?”
“No, it is not.”
“Then why–“
“That is not a secret you’ll be getting out of me, today or ever.”
Julian stands firm, staring at Eskel until he backs down.
“Very well. I have no more questions.”
“Does that mean I can leave this cell?”
“Not yet. I need to discuss it with the council. Aiden, your presence and perspective on events will be useful.”
There’s a pause, and then Aiden responds.
“I’m not leaving Julian’s side.”
“Without you, I’m not sure I can convince the council to let Julian go free.”
Feeling the need to intervene, Julian shrugs Aiden’s hand off of him.
“Go. The sooner you leave, the sooner I can get out of here. I’ll be safe.”
“But–“
“Please?”
Julian has never pulled that card on Aiden before, but it works like a charm. The cat’s shoulders droop before he stands, waiting for Eskel to open the cell gate.
“I’ll have guards posted at the entrance. You’ll be safe down here, Julian.”
Julian knows that Eskel’s words are more for Aiden’s benefit than his own, but he nods anyway. They leave quickly, though not before Aiden pulls him into a tight hug. Julian returns it, his heart aching at being separated again. He knows it is necessary, but sending Aiden away after everything that’s happened feels like a punch to the gut. Julian has to remind himself that it will only be for a little while and he lets Aiden go, allowing him and Eskel to leave.
Left alone, Julian counts the stone tiles on one of his cell walls while he waits.
It’s about as thrilling as it sounds.
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