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Figuring out how one can be so negative all the time without stopping was certainly a mystery.
At least that was how it was to Ragatha.
The latest adventure had left her in a daze. She’d exploded once, and wished that she never had. She worried that she scared Pomni, or mangled their friendship. Of course, Pomni was the one of the only people in the circus that Ragatha actually liked and appreciated. She wanted to keep her close. She hypothesized that Pomni would be the one to keep the doll sane.
Not many stayed sane, however. It was quite obvious. Most of the people had witnessed at least a few abstractions. They weren’t ideal, but what could one do?
Ragatha, a few hours after the fustercluck of an adventure’s end, decided to head back to her room. She dissociated during Kinger’s rambling, and Zooble’s mumbling. Usually, she listened and took note of what happened with the others, but the thought of Jax trying to drive Pomni away from her simply was too much. She desired peace and quiet.
Where were they, anyway? Perhaps they were hanging out. Having a grand old time. Ragatha scowled at this thought of that.
She pushed open the door of her cramped room. She hadn’t kept up with tidying, but she really showed little to no care at this point in time. Ragatha collapsed on her bed from exhaustion and a slight drop of jealousy. Some nights, she hung out with Pomni for a few hours at a time. Ragatha usually initiated her poor attempts at flirting, which the other woman never grasped or understood.
Though for some reason, Ragatha found that quite adorable. That thought made her feel a bit fuzzy, but it was nothing that caused discomfort. Ragatha contemplated looking for the small jester, but eventually decided against it. Probably didn’t want her to bother her.
Disappointment washed over Ragatha like a tsunami, and she struggled to shake it off. Maybe this was a sign to look for Pomni?
Just as Ragatha was about to rise from her bed, a knock sounded on her door. Her mind immediately went to Pomni.
“Hey,” came a familiar, deep emotionless voice. “I was wondering if you wanted to talk. You kind of left without saying anything. It was… unlike you.”
Zooble had a tendency to talk to people once they notice something off about them. Ragatha knew why. Keeping the others from abstracting was like a priority. They kept each other sane.
Except for Jax. He was practically the reason why someone would abstract.
“You can come in,” Ragatha said, her voice groggy and clearly showing signs of fatigue. Did she really have the energy for one of Zooble’s conversations right now?
The door opened, and the toy box character stepped within. Ragatha usually couldn’t take them seriously. Their personality contrasted their goofy appearance.
“Are you doing okay? Gangle, surprisingly, asked me to come check on you. I believe I suspect why you’ve been quiet all evening,” they said, crossing their plastic arms.
“Oh, you know, it’s just Jax. He seems to upset everyone in some way,” Ragatha replied with a smile. A forced one, at that.
Zooble gave a nod. “Right, yeah. But I have a feeling it’s about Pomni, but I won’t pry,” they stated, looking Ragatha up and down before shrugging.
“I mean, yeah, I just have a feeling that Jax is trying to turn Pomni into a jerk like… him,” Ragatha said, rubbing the back of her head.
Zooble hummed thoughtfully. “I mean I understand why you might feel that way. But Pomni can think for herself.” They sighed. “I’d say go talk to her. You’re a pretty approachable person, and you’re the one who comforted her when she first arrived. I suspect she’d choose you before Jax.”
Ragatha struggled to keep the emotions she felt within. She kept her fabric face nonchalant, and didn’t try to respond to that last sentence. Pomni choosing her? Hm.
“I guess I can go talk to her,” she said. “Do you know where she is?” She sounded more desperate than she would have liked.
“Her room. Jax is gone, if that makes you feel any better.”
Ragatha stood up, wiping down her dress like there was something gross on it.
“Thank you, Zooble,” she told them.
“Of course, whatever helps.”
Ragatha left the confines of her room and went down the hallway to find the door with the image of a wide-eyed jester with nothing but anxiety and doom in her eyes.
Politely, she knocked on the wood, then spoke.
“Pomni? Are you in there?” she called.
“I’m here!” replied the usually skittish jester.
Ragatha’s heart jumped, and she tried to ignore it. She slowly opened the door, and poked her head in. Like usual, Pomni was laying on her bed and staring at the ceiling with large, blank eyes.
“Hey, Pomni,” Ragatha began. “Can we… talk about earlier?”
The smaller woman sat up, then peered over at the ragdoll.
“What’s there to talk about? You’ve already apologized.” Pomni’s tone was kind and casual, but her expression indicated awkwardness.
“I mean, I feel like I made you uncomfortable in that bar,” said Ragatha. “I’m sure you did.”
“Not really. It was just a bit weird. You- you seem to freak out at me talking to Jax,” she replied.
Ragatha sighed, then proceeded to fiddle with the hair that the purple rabbit had to call licorice. She still remembered that.
“I just think he’s trying to make you like him. And you know what he’s like. Not very… desirable, you know?”
“I’m not a jerk, Ragatha. And I don’t want to be like him, but I think he has his reasons. Either his attitude is a coping mechanism for being in this hell, or for losing a friend.” Pomni shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t try to pry.”
Ragatha was aware of Jax’s loss some time ago. She felt terrible for hinting at it beneath the calming stars, and tried to shake it off. Though he still deserved a proper apology. The ragdoll had no idea when she’d provide that for him. They weren’t exactly fond of each other at this given moment.
She took a few steps toward Pomni, each one radiating anticipation. But of what?
“I am glad you are seeking more friends here,” Ragatha stated. It was a change of subject, but the care had dissipated. Nothing but jealousy boiled within her stuffed heart. If she even had a physical one. She opened her mouth to say something else, but nothing came.
“It is nice to have more than one friend,” Pomni said, her eyes downcast when she sat up. “This might sound a little weird, but I still prefer you. Jax is just a bit much.”
Ragatha smiled. Just a bit.
“That doesn’t sound weird at all,” she told the jester. “In fact, I do like hearing that. I never really did before… all of this.”
“All I really have to say is… I’m not mad about earlier.”
Ragatha had no way of responding that wasn’t through physical touch. But she didn’t want to cause discomfort for Pomni, so she took a seat right next to her. The smaller woman leaned onto the ragdoll, the bells on her hat jingling in the process. It was a sign of affection that was so small to blind eyes but so big to Ragatha.
Things felt fixed. They felt like the twenty thousand piece puzzle had been completed after weeks of stress. At least for them.