Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

🧠 The Identity Crisis Zone

1. “Is Sakura actually useful?”
Oh we’re starting here? Really? She was literally the top medic ninja of her generation, had Tsunade’s strength, and saved Naruto’s life more times than his plot armor did. Sit down.

2. “Why does everyone hate Sakura?”
Because anime fans in the 2000s didn’t know what to do with a female character who had flaws and emotions. Also: the Sasuke thing. Let’s not lie.

3. “Did Sakura invent medical ninjutsu?”
NO. NO SHE DID NOT. SHE LEARNED IT FROM TSUNADE. OH MY GOD.
Respect your elders, please.

4. “Is Sakura Tsunade’s daughter???”
Okay, cute theory, but no. Just because your mentor is blonde and strong doesn’t mean she gave birth to you. That’s not how chakra or genetics work.

5. “Why didn’t Kishimoto let Sakura win a fight?”
Honestly? Ask him. Even he admitted in interviews he didn’t know what to do with her half the time. Tragic. She had so much potential and got buried under Uchiha drama.

6. “Sakura vs a tree who would win”
Depends. Is the tree emotional support or emotionally unavailable? Because we know how she handles those.

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💔 The Shipping Dumpster Fire

7. “Does Sasuke love Sakura or is he just being polite?”
That man was so emotionally unavailable he had to travel the entire continent just to come to terms with basic human affection. So... polite-ish?

8. “Sakura x Naruto endgame what if”
It would've been louder, messier, and full of CPR-based romance. Honestly? They had more chemistry in early Shippuden than most people wanna admit.

9. “Is Sakura cheating on Sasuke with Kakashi?”
Please. Kakashi already has a marriage contract with trauma and solitude. Leave him out of your fanfiction-fueled crimes.

10. “Hinata vs Sakura who would win in a divorce court”
Sakura would win custody through sheer force of will. Hinata would win audience sympathy. The judge? Probably Konohamaru, deeply regretting his life choices.

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🔬 The Questionable Science Zone

11. “How strong is Sakura’s punch in PSI?”
Some fan calculated it once. Something between "destroy a mountain" and "accidentally create a tectonic plate shift." Canonically? More than enough to shatter boulders like candy.

12. “Can Sakura crush a mountain with one hand?”
Technically yes, but only if she’s mad and emotionally repressed. Which is… often.

13. “How many pushups can Sakura do before exploding?”
Sakura would explode you before she exploded from pushups. Let’s be clear.

14. “Does Sakura’s strength come from anger or trauma?”
This one’s deep. Possibly both. Maybe Tsunade trained her muscles and Konoha trained her patience.

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👻 The Spiritual/Nonsense Plane

15. “Was Sakura secretly the protagonist all along?”
You know what? In terms of growth, effort, and emotional resilience? Kind of, yeah. In terms of screen time? LOL no.

16. “Is Sakura the ninth tailed beast?”
Only if you count "rage" as a chakra type.

17. “Can Sakura beat Goku if Goku is sick?”
Only if he also skipped breakfast and his voice actor had a sore throat.

18. “Sakura vs Sailor Moon in a karaoke battle”
This would be a draw. Sakura’s got raw, emotional yelling power. Usagi has the chaos energy of a glitter bomb in human form.

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🛒 The Internet Being Deeply Weird

19. “Where to buy Sakura cosplay but make it emo”
Okay, wait—why does this kind of slap? Picture it: black cloak, pink hair, bandages, dead-eyed stare. Peak Hot Topic chakra.

20. “Sakura Haruno feet wiki”
You are banned from search engines. Get some help. Touch a leaf. This is why we can't have nice things.

Chapter Text

👁️ The Tragic Edge Chronicles

1. “Why is Sasuke always angry?”
Because his entire family was murdered, his older brother gaslit him into a lifelong revenge arc, and his chakra alignment is 'brood'. What do you want from him?

2. “Is Sasuke blind or just edgy?”
Why not both? Canonically half-blind. Emotionally? Completely.

3. “Why did Sasuke leave the village again?”
Because therapy was not invented in the Hidden Leaf and apparently writing a strongly worded letter to the Hokage was too much work.

4. “Does Sasuke shower?”
We’re unsure. He was on the road for years in the same outfit. Naruto hugged him anyway, so let’s just... not dig too deep.

5. “Is Sasuke still a villain?”
He’s what you get when a villain gets tired halfway through and just wants to go home and raise a kid with one arm. So: semi-retired antihero with angst benefits.

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🗡️ The Sword Daddy Section

6. “Why does Sasuke only have one arm?”
Because Naruto said “no thanks” to prosthetics and Sasuke was like, “yeah okay same.” They took matching trauma over functional limbs. Bros.

7. “What is Sasuke’s sword’s name?”
It doesn’t have one, because Sasuke doesn’t talk to his friends, much less his sword.

8. “Can Sasuke defeat everyone if he opens both eyes?”
Probably. But his biggest weakness is feelings, not optics.

9. “Does Sasuke know how to cook?”
Only when left unsupervised with Sarada and a lot of canned food. It’s giving ‘burnt rice but with love.’

10. “Sasuke vs Itachi who wins now?”
Emotionally? Still Itachi. He’s been dead for years and is still living rent-free in Sasuke’s psyche.

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💔 The Uchiha Relationship Quagmire

11. “Does Sasuke love Sakura or is he confused?”
Yes.

12. “Why did Sasuke poke Sakura’s forehead?”
It’s a family thing. It's either the Uchiha way of saying ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m leaving you to suffer for another five years.’ Could be either.

13. “Who is Sasuke’s real soulmate?”
Depends. If you ask fanfiction? Naruto. If you ask canon? Sakura. If you ask Sasuke? Vengeance.

14. “Is Sasuke Sarada’s real dad?”
Yes. But the internet invented a whole Maury Povich arc over this one, so thanks for that.

15. “Sasuke x Karin x Sakura love triangle fanfiction recs?”
You didn’t need to Google this. You just wanted to be chaotic.

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🌒 The Shady & Spiritual Section

16. “Is Sasuke technically a terrorist?”
Yes. And yet—somehow—still not the worst thing to happen to Konoha.

17. “Can Sasuke beat Gojo?”
Sasuke: 7 types of eyes, trained by gods. Gojo: the entire concept of infinity. It would end in a staring contest that destroys space-time.

18. “Does Sasuke believe in god?”
He believed in Itachi, then Madara, then himself. That’s basically religion.

19. “Is Sasuke a Capricorn?”
No, he’s a Leo. Which makes complete sense if you understand that Leos either crave attention or aggressively reject it while still wanting you to look at them. Classic Uchiha.

20. “Sasuke Uchiha feet wiki”
OH MY GOD IT’S YOU AGAIN. STOP IT. LOG OFF. GET A HOBBY.

Chapter Text

🌀 The Identity Spiral

1. “Is Naruto dumb or pretending?”
Both. He’s secretly a genius at emotional intelligence and friendship-based war crimes. But also once mistook a shadow clone for a real person.

2. “Is Naruto stronger than god?”
Which god? Shinto god? Christian god? Anime god? Because if it’s Kishimoto, then no. But if it’s Pain, yes. He punched him into a redemption arc.

3. “Why is Naruto orange?”
Because subtlety is for people not raised alone in an apartment eating expired ramen.

4. “Was Naruto poor?”
Yes. Very. He grew up with no parents, no money, and had to teach himself how to cook instant noodles. Meanwhile, the village was like “wow he’s annoying.”

5. “What kind of fox is Naruto?”
The unbothered, feral kind. Also: he’s not a fox. He just lives with one inside his bellybutton.

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👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 The Family Trauma Buffet

6. “Did Naruto ever meet his parents?”
Yes. During the most traumatic boss fight hallucination therapy session in anime history. They said “We love you!” and then yeeted back to the afterlife.

7. “Why did no one tell Naruto about his dad?”
Because apparently everyone in Konoha took a blood oath to never mention that the Fourth Hokage’s clone child existed.

8. “Is Boruto Naruto’s son or a clone?”
He’s his son. Unfortunately, he has the angst of Sasuke and the haircut of a rebellious USB stick.

9. “Is Naruto a good dad?”
He tries. He really does. But the man was raised by toads and ramen packets. Fatherhood was... a learning curve.

10. “Why did Naruto name his child Boruto?”
It was supposed to be a pun on “bolt,” like a bolt that connects two generations. But it mostly sounds like you sneezed during “Naruto.”

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💪 The Power Level Disaster

11. “How strong is Naruto without Kurama?”
Still stronger than 98% of the shinobi world. But emotionally? A wet paper towel.

12. “Naruto vs Goku who wins?”
Goku would ask for ramen, Naruto would say “believe it,” and they’d become best friends. Planet destroyed in the process. Nobody wins.

13. “Why can’t Naruto fly?”
Because plot said no. Despite literally using chakra to walk on water and punch meteorites.

14. “What’s Naruto’s power called again?”
Plot no Jutsu. Occasionally Rasengan. But mostly plot no jutsu.

15. “Does Naruto have PTSD?”
He should. He definitely should. But shonen anime said “lol trauma builds character!”

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💅 The Unhinged Zone

16. “Why is Naruto so hot in Boruto?”
Because adulthood + dad confidence + finally sleeping regularly. Also: his voice dropped 3 octaves and his hair got sensible.

17. “Does Naruto wax his eyebrows?”
Unclear. But they’ve been suspiciously neat since Shippuden. Sus.

18. “Naruto’s skincare routine?”
Step 1: Fight gods.
Step 2: Get punched by your best friend.
Step 3: Cry.
Step 4: Glow.

19. “Naruto x Sasuke canon???”
Emotionally? Spiritually? YES.
Physically? No, but that forehead tap had energy.
Also: the handhold at the end was basically an anime wedding.

20. “Naruto feet wiki”
NO. WHY IS THIS A THING. WHO IS DOING THIS TO EVERY CHARACTER. STOP. GO OUTSIDE.

Chapter Text

😷 The Masked Mystery Era

1. “What does Kakashi look like under the mask?”
He looks like heartbreak dipped in jawline perfection. Canon confirmed: he’s stupid hot. The whole village nearly died when they saw it.

2. “Why does Kakashi always wear a mask?”
Because Konoha isn’t ready for that level of sexy. Also: trauma.

3. “Has Kakashi ever smiled?”
Yes. Once. In 2004. The leaf village experienced sunshine for the first time that day.

4. “Kakashi without mask filler episode?”
Yes, there was one. Yes, it was chaos. Yes, fans screamed. Yes, his lips had their own fandom.

5. “Is Kakashi handsome or are we projecting?”
Both. The man’s cheekbones could slice a kunai.

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📖 The Brooding Backstory Black Hole

6. “Why is Kakashi so sad?”
Because literally everyone he’s ever loved is dead. His dad, his best friend, his sensei, his student, his hope, his lunch. All dead.

7. “Is Kakashi depressed?”
Kakashi has had a permanent case of Existential Crisis Face since the womb. He’s basically walking SSRIs.

8. “Did Kakashi kill Rin on purpose?”
No. She Naruto’d herself into his Chidori and ruined his entire emotional life. Please never bring this up to him.

9. “Was Kakashi ever happy?”
Once. Before Minato handed him a Genin team with a loud orphan, a Sasuke, and a fangirl.

10. “Does Kakashi have a therapist?”
He should. But his therapist was probably also traumatized and late.

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🧠 The Big Brain & Big Hands Zone

11. “How smart is Kakashi?”
IQ: 210. EQ: 6. He can copy a thousand jutsu but cannot copy basic emotional stability.

12. “Kakashi vs Itachi who wins?”
In a staring contest? Itachi.
In a chill-off? Kakashi.
In raw emotional repression? Tie.

13. “Why did Kakashi become Hokage?”
Because Tsunade said “no,” Naruto wasn’t ready, and the village needed someone who could fake being responsible for a few years.

14. “Does Kakashi still have Sharingan?”
No. Obito took it back when he went full ghost mode. Now Kakashi just has normal eyes and infinite sadness.

15. “Can Kakashi still fight without Sharingan?”
Yes. This man was elite before he got anime eye DLC. He will beat you with chakra tape and a sigh.

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😏 The Internet’s... Interests

16. “Why is Kakashi so hot?”
Because the universe needed a silver-haired, emotionally damaged bookworm to ruin everyone’s standards.

17. “Is Kakashi single?”
Canon: yes.
Fanfic: married to Gai, Iruka, Sasuke’s dad, and sometimes reader-insert you. Pick your poison.

18. “Does Kakashi read porn in public?”
Absolutely. It’s called Icha Icha Paradise, and it’s somehow both a literary classic and HR violation.

19. “Kakashi x Gai is it real?”
That man wrote his own death poem for Kakashi. They’re soulmates in the ‘I will punch god for you’ way. So yes.

20. “Kakashi Hatake feet wiki”
AGAIN?? WHY. WHO KEEPS DOING THIS. I WILL UNPLUG THE WHOLE INTERNET.

Chapter Text

☠️ The War Crime Wine Tasting Menu

1. “Did Itachi kill his clan or was it a prank?”
A prank?? A PRANK?? My brother in trauma, that was a full-on war crime. Not “Oops, April Fools.” He did it for “peace,” but peace was covered in a lot of blood.

2. “Was Itachi actually the good guy?”
Yes. No. Kinda. He’s the only man who committed mass murder and somehow got a redemption arc and a fanbase.

3. “Did Itachi enjoy killing his parents?”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? He literally sobbed while doing it. The man’s internal organs are just sorrow and crow feathers.

4. “Is Itachi a villain?”
Canon says no. The Leaf says no. Twitter says “YES BUT I FORGIVE HIM.” So we’re all just lying to ourselves now.

5. “Could Itachi have just... talked to someone?”
Therapy no Jutsu was not invented. Also, Konoha’s policy on mental health was “die quietly.”

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🧠 The 4D Chess Player Lounge

6. “Was Itachi smarter than Shikamaru?”
Yes, but in the ‘I planned my own death to traumatize my little brother into becoming a better person’ kind of way.

7. “Did Itachi plan everything?”
He planned his life, his death, Sasuke’s therapy arc, Madara’s downfall, and your emotional breakdown in 2008.

8. “Why did Itachi give Sasuke crows?”
Because instead of hugs, he left his brother metaphysical scavenger hunts and avian PTSD.

9. “Can Itachi beat Madara?”
With plot armor? Yes.
With logic? No.
With depression? Tie.

10. “What does Itachi whisper to Sasuke?”
Probably something like “Sorry for all the murder. Please remember to eat a vegetable. Also, avenge me.”

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🧍‍♂️ The Sad Boy Physique Files

11. “Why is Itachi always sick?”
Because life said, “Being emotionally devastated isn’t enough. Let’s throw in tuberculosis for funsies.”

12. “What disease did Itachi have?”
Canon says “unspecified anime terminal illness.” Fanon says autoimmune disease + tragic hot boy syndrome.

13. “How old was Itachi when he died?”
21. The man died before he could rent a car or finish college, but somehow had 3 backup plans for the apocalypse.

14. “Was Itachi hot?”
Do birds scream at dawn? YES. He was the blueprint for tragic anime hotness. Tumblr still hasn’t recovered.

15. “Is Itachi taller than Sasuke?”
Yes. In inches, in trauma, in IQ, and in emotional baggage. Sasuke’s still chasing that growth spurt metaphorically.

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🪶 The Internet’s Darkest Side

16. “Itachi dating sim game?”
...It exists. I’m not judging you. I’m just staring.

17. “Did Itachi love anyone romantically?”
Canon: Maybe Izumi.
Fandom: You, probably.
Reality: He was married to death and consequences.

18. “Why are there so many Itachi x reader fics?”
Because people looked at a traumatized war criminal and said “I can fix him with love and fanfiction.”

19. “Itachi Uchiha zodiac sign?”
Gemini. Yes, the sign of duality. Because of course the man with two faces and a secret genocide side hustle is a Gemini.

20. “Itachi Uchiha feet wiki”
YOU AGAIN. I WILL CALL THE POLICE. LEAVE THESE NINJA TOES ALONE.

Chapter Text

💔 The “Wait What the Hell” Era

1. “Did Obito really die?”
Technically, yes. Spiritually, no.
Ninja law says: if you didn’t see the body explode into chunks, they’re coming back in a mask with 800 new jutsu.

2. “Is Tobi Obito?”
Yes. And the reveal shook 12 years of fan theories, 8 Reddit threads, and 1 therapist’s office.

3. “Why did Obito become evil?”
Because Rin died. That’s it. That’s the villain origin. He went from “goofy Naruto parallel” to “world-ending emo gaslighter” in 0.3 seconds.

4. “Did Obito love Rin or was it obsession?”
It was anime-grade delusional loyalty. He looked at Rin’s ghost like she was a Wi-Fi signal powering his evil schemes.

5. “Why does Obito blame Kakashi?”
Because Kakashi got promoted, got the Sharingan, and accidentally killed Rin. Obito: “Yup, that’s betrayal. I’ll become Satan now.”

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😷 The Masked Menace™ Files

6. “Why did Obito wear a mask?”
Because trauma, drama, and plot twists. Also because if you show your face while saying “I’m not who you think I am,” it ruins the effect.

7. “Why did Obito sound like a clown at first?”
Peak voice acting deception. Man went full Bugs Bunny with “Yay let’s be silly!” only to become Darth Vader: Ninja Edition™ two seasons later.

8. “What happened to Obito’s face?”
Half crushed by rocks. Zetsu turned him into the Human Patchwork Horror Barbie™. It’s body horror meets emotional repression.

9. “Why does Obito have white stuff on him?”
...It’s Zetsu, you degenerate. Plant man. Living Hashirama mud clone armor. Not that white stuff. Please seek help.

10. “Obito without mask fanart”
So much thirst. So much trauma. Somehow, fan artists made the scars hot. I don’t know how. We’ve passed the point of no return.

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🧠 The Emo Genius Timeline

11. “Is Obito stronger than Madara?”
Short answer: no.
Long answer: also no, but Obito had ✨plot sparkle✨ and the Ten Tails for five minutes. So we let him pretend.

12. “Was Obito smarter than Itachi?”
They both play 9D chess.
But Itachi faked a genocide for peace. Obito faked an entire identity to start a war over a girl who’s been dead for 16 years. So... tie?

13. “Why did Obito call himself Madara?”
Because no one takes you seriously if you introduce yourself as “Hi, I’m Obito, I got dumped by the universe.”

14. “How old is Obito when he dies?”
Around 30. Mentally? Still 13. Emotionally? Already fossilized.

15. “Why didn’t Obito just... move on?”
Have you tried moving on from heartbreak while stuck in a cave for years with a talking plant and no Netflix?

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🫠 The Internet Unhinges Itself, Again

16. “Is Obito hot or is it just the voice?”
It’s both.
Scarred face, tragic backstory, deep voice, and warlord energy? That’s Tumblr bait. Man’s got more fanfics than moral stability.

17. “Obito simp army”
Yes. They exist. They are powerful. They will argue he did nothing wrong while writing 200k-word redemption arcs.

18. “Obito redemption arc real?”
Canon says yes. Fandom says “too little too late,” or alternatively, “he’s my babygirl, your honor.”

19. “Obito x Kakashi canon??”
Emotionally? They are two trauma-splintered halves of the same sad sword.
Physically? No. But that final hand-touch moment had “please forgive me for murdering everyone” vibes.

20. “Obito feet wiki”
NO. THIS NEEDS TO STOP. WHOEVER YOU ARE. I AM BEGGING YOU TO LOG OFF.

Chapter Text

🧪 The "Science Is a Suggestion" Files

1. “Is Orochimaru evil or just weird?”
Why not both? The man did human experiments before coffee. He’s like if Dr. Frankenstein got tenure in a ninja village.

2. “What did Orochimaru do wrong?”
Let’s see... betrayed his village, killed a Hokage, raised several orphans like they were Tamagotchi, and stole more bodies than a morgue.

3. “Why did Orochimaru leave Konoha?”
Because his Hokage application got denied and instead of handling rejection, he said “Time to build my own village... of children I might possess later.”

4. “How many bodies has Orochimaru possessed?”
Canonically: a lot. Fandom math says: enough to qualify as a haunted timeshare.

5. “Is Orochimaru immortal?”
Technically, yes. Emotionally, spiritually, and ethically? Dead inside for decades.

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🐍 The Snake Agenda Begins

6. “Is Orochimaru literally a snake?”
He has shed skin like a snake. He slithers like a snake. He unhinges his jaw like a snake. So yes, spiritually and possibly legally, he's a snake.

7. “Why does Orochimaru talk like that?”
Because he’s 80% drama and 20% reptilian. Man’s voice is a hiss with a PhD.

8. “Does Orochimaru have a tongue kink?”
Yes. Next question. The tongue has been out more than his moral compass.

9. “Orochimaru ASMR?”
...You people need help. But yes. It's real. And horrifying.

10. “Why is Orochimaru lowkey hot?”
STOP. HE LOOKS LIKE WET PAPER WITH A GOD COMPLEX. But also… he’s tall, he’s confident, and he can regenerate. I get it. I don’t like that I get it, but I get it.

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🧬 Parent of the Year (™) Files

11. “Is Orochimaru Mitsuki’s mom or dad?”
Yes. Gender? Irrelevant. Reproductive biology? Optional. Parenting style? “Go explore morality, son.”

12. “How did Orochimaru make Mitsuki?”
He cooked him in a lab. Literally. Mitsuki is a son grown in a test tube with a destiny baked into his DNA.

13. “Did Orochimaru reform?”
Reform is a strong word. He’s no longer openly kidnapping children — now he just does it with consent.

14. “Why is Orochimaru allowed to walk free?”
Konoha saw Naruto forgive Obito, Sasuke, and pain incarnate and said, “eh, let’s throw in the human serpent too.”

15. “What is Orochimaru’s job now?”
Science dad. Legitimately. He’s on the village payroll like nothing happened. We’re all just pretending the snake years didn’t happen.

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😬 The Internet Is Broken Files

16. “Orochimaru x Reader fanfic?”
Yes. It exists. He is apparently a seductive snake scientist in a lab coat with seductive plans for you. The thirst is biblical.

17. “Orochimaru voice impressions TikTok?”
Yes. And they’re terrifying. But also strangely accurate. The man has a vibe, and it’s ‘drag queen villain at a science fair.’

18. “Is Orochimaru queer-coded?”
*Honey. He coded himself. Gender? Fluid. Ethics? Missing. Vibe? “I will outlive all your faves.”

19. “Orochimaru feet wiki”
WHY. WHY AGAIN. EVERY SINGLE TIME. HE’S A SNAKE. SNAKES DON’T EVEN HAVE FEET.

20. “Is Orochimaru... kind of iconic?”
Oh, absolutely. He’s a chaotic neutral eldritch noodle with fashion sense, eyeliner, and a PhD in “just because I can.”

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🧠 Top 20 Weirdest Things People Search About Shikamaru Nara (with commentary)

He’s not lazy. He’s just operating ten dimensions above you and doesn’t have time for your nonsense.

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🕳️ The Brain Cell Nobody Else Has

1. “Why is Shikamaru so smart?”
Because someone had to be. His mind’s like a chessboard and you’re all playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

2. “What is Shikamaru’s IQ?”
Over 200, apparently. That’s Naruto-verse for “plot-required genius with a side of anxiety.”

3. “Is Shikamaru lazy or depressed?”
Yes. He’s tired of you, tired of me, tired of war, and mostly tired of waking up before noon.

4. “How does Shikamaru win fights if he’s so lazy?”
Because he doesn’t fight. He outsmarts. He wins while sitting down. He’s like if Sherlock Holmes and a couch had a baby.

5. “Shikamaru vs Batman?”
Shikamaru wins, but only if it’s on a Tuesday and he’s not busy.

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🕯️ The Fastest Revenge Plot in Naruto History

6. “How did Shikamaru get revenge for Asuma?”
With grace. With precision. With NO. TIME. WASTED.
Asuma died → Shikamaru lit a cigarette → said “I’m gonna kill him” → and then ACTUALLY DID.
In like three damn days.
Meanwhile, Sasuke is still on his “vengeance is a spiral of emotional warfare” arc. Shikamaru? Efficient. Clean. Emotionally wrecked, but DONE.

7. “Did Shikamaru cry after killing Hidan?”
Yes. But not until it was done. He buried the lighter. He buried his heart. He walked away like a legend.

8. “Could Shikamaru have beaten Pain?”
Tactically? Probably.
Physically? No.
Sarcastically? Absolutely.

9. “Is Shikamaru stronger than Naruto?”
No. But Naruto asks HIM what to do. So who’s really in charge here?

10. “Shikamaru vs Sasuke?”
Shikamaru would win by luring Sasuke into an emotional argument, shadow-binding him mid-trauma spiral, and walking away.

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🍃 The Leaf Village Therapist Nobody Asked For

11. “What does Shikamaru actually do after the war?”
Becomes Hokage's right hand. Translates Naruto’s well-meaning gibberish into policy. Is tired 24/7.

12. “Is Shikamaru married?”
Yes. To Temari, queen of fan-wielding dominance. Their love language is verbal combat.

13. “Why did Shikamaru marry Temari?”
Because he needed someone scarier than his mom, and Temari threatened him into being a better man.

14. “Is Shikamaru a good dad?”
*He’s a great dad but also like, “Shikadai, I love you, now stop bothering me with feelings.”

15. “Why is Shikamaru always exasperated?”
Because he’s surrounded by people who solve problems with screaming and explosions, and he’s just trying to do his job.

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😩 The Internet Has Lost Its Mind Again

16. “Shikamaru x Reader lazy cuddle fic?”
Oh, so many. Man’s brand is “accidentally intimate slacker who falls asleep on you but remembers everything you said.”

17. “Does Shikamaru smoke?”
He picked up Asuma’s habit out of grief and symbolism. He quit eventually. Because he’s that introspective.

18. “Shikamaru feet wiki?”
GET. OUT.

19. “Shikamaru death theory Boruto?”
Stop this. If they kill Shikamaru, we riot. The man is the last working adult in Konoha.

20. “Why do people love Shikamaru so much?”
Because he’s the relatable king of burnout. He doesn’t want glory. He wants naps. And he STILL saves the world. He’s what most of us aspire to be, if we had motivation and lethal IQ.

Chapter Text

🧠 The Intellectual Cult Leader Era

1. “Was Madara actually right?”
...See, this is how cults start.
He said “Everyone suffers, so let’s hallucinate peace forever” and people nodded like he invented philosophy.

2. “What was Madara’s goal?”
Infinite Tsukuyomi. Aka: permanent dreamland where everyone’s happy and nobody can talk back. A global nap. He invented the metaverse before Zuckerberg.

3. “Why did Madara hate Hashirama?”
He didn’t. That’s the problem.
He loved Hashirama in that “I’m gonna destroy the world so you’ll finally agree with me” way. Platonic, romantic, existential — pick your poison.

4. “Is Madara a villain or an antihero?”
He’s a villain with main character syndrome so loud he made the war arc about himself despite being dead when it started.

5. “Why did Madara come back to life?”
Because he had a backup plan in case death didn’t work out. That’s not strategy — that’s necromantic narcissism.

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💪 The Shirtless Power Move Files

6. “Why is Madara so OP?”
Because he earned it.
Man bodied the Five Kage like they were minor inconveniences. Literally summoned two meteors like it was a Tuesday.

7. “Can Madara beat Goku?”
No. But the fact that this is a real debate means his power scaling has officially gone Dragon Ball levels of cracked.

8. “Why is Madara shirtless?”
Because nothing says "I am the storm" like abs and arrogance. His armor broke, his ego did not.

9. “Madara vs the entire Shinobi Alliance?”
It was a tutorial level for him. They were warm-up crunches before he summoned God mode.

10. “Did Madara kill Naruto and Sasuke?”
Yes. Briefly. Then plot armor resurrected them with moon powers and friendship.

---

🥲 The Emotional Spiral Nobody Addresses

11. “Why is Madara so obsessed with Hashirama?”
Because he’s the only person who ever challenged him, respected him, and told him no.
It’s not a rivalry. It’s the slowest, saddest friends-to-enemies-to-dead-soulmates arc in history.

12. “Did Madara ever love anyone?”
Yes: himself, Hashirama, and the sound of his own voice.

13. “Is Madara gay?”
Canon? Ambiguous.
Fandom? Oh, absolutely. They’ve got full dissertations with citations, emotional breakdowns, and Tumblr fanart to prove it.

14. “Why didn’t Madara just go to therapy?”
Because he was the therapist — for himself. And he agreed with everything he said.

15. “Did Madara have a redemption arc?”
He got one final moment where he realized he was wrong, and Hashirama held his hand. It was tragic, touching, and two decades too late.

---

🌀 The Internet Spirals Further

16. “Madara x Reader soulmate AU?”
Y’all are out here writing 200k-word epics about fixing him with love. The man needs a therapist, not a wife.

17. “Madara feet wiki?”
HOW. WHO. WHY. I am haunting your IP address. This is a war crime.

18. “Why is Madara so hot?”
It’s the confidence. The voice. The delusion. The abs. The ability to solo nations. We’re not proud of it, but we understand.

19. “Madara vs therapy?”
Therapy would lose. He’d gaslight the therapist into agreeing with Infinite Tsukuyomi by session 3.

20. “Was Madara the real villain?”
Nah. The real villain was Zetsu, the moldy plant cryptid who hijacked his entire plan in the final hour.
Madara’s face when he realized he’d been plot-twisted by a shrub? Priceless.

---

Madara Uchiha:

God complex: ✅

Absurd power scaling: ✅

Simping for Hashirama even after death: ✅

Betrayed by a houseplant: ✅✅✅

He didn’t just want to win. He wanted to be right about human nature, grief, and control. And he almost was.
Until the plot said: “Enough.”

Chapter Text

🔥 1. "Why are the Uchiha so dramatic?"

Because they are genetically allergic to chill.
Every minor conflict turns into an emotional Shakespearean death spiral. Their family motto is probably:

> “Overreact, then explode it with fire.”

---

🧠 2. "Is being smart an Uchiha trait?"

Yes, but it’s cursed. It comes bundled with paranoia, superiority complexes, and the need to monologue about betrayal while bleeding out.

---

🧬 3. "What is the Uchiha Curse?"

Oh boy. It’s basically: “If I love too much, I must suffer violently and probably try to destroy the government.”
Modern term: emotionally repressed rage-fueled spiral gene.

---

👁️ 4. "What does the Sharingan actually do?"

Everything. Literally everything.
See memories, copy fighting styles, hypnotize people, create illusions, burn things with hatred, summon extradimensional eyeballs.
It’s like a software update that turns your eyes into psychological nukes.

---

👁️‍🗨️ 5. "How many Mangekyou Sharingan exist?"

Too many.
Each one comes with unique emo flair:

> Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, Kotoamatsukami, Susanoo...
At this point, even their pupils have more lore than entire characters.

---

☠️ 6. "Why do the Uchiha keep dying?"

Because trauma, politics, and bad decision-making run deep.
Also:

Coup attempts

Vengeance quests

“I must kill my brother to honor my brother” logic loops
They do NOT know peace.

---

🔪 7. "Did Itachi really kill the entire Uchiha clan?"

Yes. With help. Under orders. While crying inside.
And somehow, the fandom still thirsts after him like he's not responsible for multiple counts of mass homicide.

---

🥺 8. "Was Itachi the last good Uchiha?"

Absolutely not. He was just the one with the most Tumblr quotes.

---

🤡 9. "Are all Uchihas insane?"

…Listen.
Statistically, yes.
You either die a sad prodigy or live long enough to become a god-tier menace who monologues during battle.

---

😔 10. "What if the Uchiha massacre never happened?"

Then Naruto would be a slice-of-life show about peer-reviewed jutsu and awkward clan dinners.
Sasuke would have three therapists and zero reason to scream every arc.

---

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 11. "Are Uchiha allowed to marry outside their clan?"

Allowed? Sure.
But you better believe the aunties have opinions.
And if you’re not emotionally complex enough? Don’t bother — they'll get bored.

---

💔 12. "Why do Uchihas love so hard?"

Because their chakra’s like hot sauce mixed with heartbreak.
When they bond, it’s deep and fierce — and when they lose, it shatters them into full-blown villain arcs.

---

📈 13. "Uchiha clan power ranking?"

Itachi and Madara fight for #1.
Sasuke’s in there.
Obito’s on a whole different timeline of pain.
The rest? Redshirt cannon fodder with good hair.

---

🙄 14. "Why didn’t anyone stop the Uchiha downfall?"

Because the Hokage said, “Let’s just spy on them,”
Danzo said, “Let’s kill them,”
And Itachi said, “I’ll do both.”
And nobody thought to say, “Maybe we just... talk?”

---

🧙‍♂️ 15. "Are Uchihas born with the Sharingan?"

Nope.
You have to unlock it through emotional trauma.
Like Pokémon evolution, but with more tears and dead best friends.

---

🔍 16. "Why are they all so hot?"

Because anime logic + pain = cheekbones and mystery.
The more you suffer, the more you smolder.
It’s the law.

---

💀 17. "Uchiha clan tomb?"

Y’all out here looking for their mass grave site like it’s a tourist destination. Go outside.

---

💼 18. "Would the Uchiha clan survive in the real world?"

They’d run a Fortune 500 tech company by day, overthrow the government by night, and burn down your therapist’s office by week’s end.

---

🚫 19. "Uchiha clan feet wiki?"

ABSOLUTELY NOT.
We left you back in the Sasuke tab.
Do NOT make me bring out the digital holy water.

---

📜 20. "What was the Uchiha Clan’s original purpose?"

They were the village police.
Then they tried to overthrow the village.
Then they got massacred by the village.
Tragic arc? Yes. Irony? Blistering.

---

🥴 21. "Can the Uchiha clan come back?"

Technically, Sasuke and Salad are keeping the torch alive.
Emotionally? Nah. That clan is dust, trauma, and aesthetic smoke effects now.

---

The Uchiha Clan:

Emotionally unstable fire gods ✅

Walking cautionary tales ✅

Too hot to live, too cursed to survive ✅

Cannot be googled without attracting feet demons ❌

Chapter Text

🧨 1. “Why does Deidara have mouths on his hands?”

Because someone in the Akatsuki design department said “Let’s make one of them sexy AND nightmare-inducing.”
They help him mold explosive clay.
Also: gross.

---

🎨 2. “Why does Deidara say art is an explosion?”

Because his entire life is a metaphor for rage quitting the museum circuit.
He believes true art is fleeting — like fireworks, or his temper.

---

🔪 3. “Did Deidara actually die?”

Yes.
He blew himself up after Sasuke disrespected his artistic vision.
Peak drama. He literally rage quit life.

---

😠 4. “Why did Deidara hate Itachi?”

Because Itachi said “Art is eternal,” and Deidara took that personally.
Like, “I'm gonna destroy you with my weird clay dragon personally.”

---

💋 5. “Can Deidara kiss with his hand mouths?”

WHY.
I warned you. We left the feet behind — don’t drag us into this.
No answer. No peace. You’re on a watchlist now.

---

👁️ 6. “Why does Deidara cover one eye?”

To counter Genjutsu, because Itachi gave him emotional flashbacks.
That eye’s hooked to a special scope for watching his boom-booms better.
He's an art snob with sniper focus.

---

💀 7. “Is Deidara dead or alive in Boruto?”

He’s dead.
Boruto is haunted by many things.
Deidara is not one of them.
(But give the writers time…)

---

📚 8. “What’s Deidara’s backstory?”

Child prodigy turned emo demolitions expert.
He got recruited to the Akatsuki after blowing things up a little too well.
Also, he probably got kicked out of ninja art school for performance pieces that leveled buildings.

---

👨‍🎨 9. “Was Deidara an artist or a terrorist?”

Yes.

---

🙃 10. “Deidara vs Sasuke – who won?”

Technically, Sasuke.
Emotionally, Deidara died believing he made the greatest art piece of all time.
So... they both walked away smug.
Except only one actually walked away.

---

🖐️ 11. “What do Deidara’s hand mouths taste?”

WHY WOULD YOU TYPE THIS.
WHAT ANSWER ARE YOU EXPECTING?
Is this research? A fanfic? A nightmare journal?

---

🧠 12. “Is Deidara smart?”

He’s chaos-brilliant.
Explosives expert. Battle tactician. Clay sculptor.
But also: emotionally unstable, reckless, and allergic to calm conversation.

---

👁️‍🗨️ 13. “Does Deidara have a Kekkei Genkai?”

Nope.
He made himself this dangerous through pure spicy art energy and manic obsession with explosions.
He’s built different. Literally.

---

🎭 14. “Was Deidara in love with his art?”

Absolutely.
You could stab him and he’d still be ranting about “ephemeral beauty” and blowing up a tree to make a point.

---

🧻 15. “Deidara x Reader jealous fanfic?”

You people are bold.
He’d scream if someone looked at your sketchbook and detonate a town if they critiqued it.

---

🚩 16. “Red flags Deidara edition?”

Yells “KATSU!” before blowing up your apartment

Thinks your relationship is performance art

Stares at fireworks too long and says, “That’s how I want to die.”

---

🤝 17. “Deidara and Tobi – friends or enemies?”

Neither.
Deidara wanted to MURDER Tobi every 8 minutes.
Tobi called it “team building.”
Honestly, sitcom-worthy.

---

🛑 18. “Deidara feet wiki?”

WHAT DID WE SAY.
NO.
You’re going to art jail. Clay cuffs. Instant.

---

🎢 19. “Was Deidara part of the Akatsuki or auditioning for a band?”

That cloak? The hair? The accessories?
Sir was two steps from a rock opera and three breakdowns deep into an avant-garde manifesto.

---

🧨 20. “Did Deidara enjoy fighting?”

He LIVED for it.
Every battle was his exhibition piece.
If there wasn’t an explosion, he felt personally insulted.

---

🧠💥 21. “Is Deidara okay?”

No.
And that’s why we loved him.

---

Deidara:

Art. Is. Explosion. ✅

Terrorist performance artist ✅

Emotionally unregulated hand-mouth menace ✅

Left the world in a blaze of clay and melodrama ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

🧠 1. “Is Kurama smart?”

Kurama is ancient, sarcastic, and speaks better grammar than half the shinobi cast.
He is the Harvard-educated inner demon you wish you didn’t have.

---

🧨 2. “Is Kurama stronger than the other Tailed Beasts?”

Yes.
He’s literally the Nine-Tails, the one with the most chakra, the best hair, and the deepest voice in anime history.
Everyone else is just cosplay at that point.

---

👀 3. “Why is Kurama always angry?”

Imagine being sealed in a kid. Then another kid. Then Naruto, who used to scream “Believe it!” every 30 seconds.
You’d be mad too.

---

🐺 4. “Is Kurama a fox or a wolf?”

Fox.
Specifically, a kitsune, aka giant mythological Japan-grade chaos furball.
Wolves don’t usually nuke villages with their tails.

---

🧾 5. “How old is Kurama?”

Older than your entire family tree.
Kurama is so old he probably saw the first ramen stand open.

---

🥲 6. “Did Kurama love Naruto?”

Eventually.
They went from “I will destroy your mind” to “I will die for you, you loud little idiot.”
Shonen character development hits DIFFERENT when it’s furry and furious.

---

🔥 7. “How powerful is Kurama without Naruto?”

Still ridiculously strong.
But also: existentially bored.
Kurama solo would be like a nuke with no launch code — terrifying, but directionless.

---

🤝 8. “Can Kurama come back to life?”

...Too soon.
WAY too soon.
I'm not crying, you’re crying, the whole fandom is crying.

---

🐾 9. “Does Kurama have feet?”

NO.
PAWS ONLY.
You absolute gremlin. Stop trying to trick the algorithm.

---

🧃 10. “Does Kurama drink water?”

What?
No, he consumes hatred and plot relevance.
Water is for mortals.

---

🧸 11. “Kurama plush real?”

Yes.
And you know what? He deserves it.
That war criminal-turned-best-friend fox deserves all the cuddles.

---

🌪️ 12. “What are Kurama’s powers?”

Massive chakra bombs

Nuclear-level destruction

Chakra cloaks

Cursed sass levels
Basically: Godzilla + Yoda + Tsundere energy.

---

🛑 13. “Was Kurama the villain?”

Only in Season 1 Naruto, when everything was either:

Screaming

Flashbacks

Fox tantrums
Then he chilled. Then he cried. Then he sacrificed himself.
#JusticeForKurama

---

🕊️ 14. “What was Kurama’s dream?”

Honestly?
To not be sealed inside emotionally volatile orphans.
Can’t blame him.

---

💥 15. “Kurama vs Godzilla?”

Honestly?
Godzilla’s got the body mass.
But Kurama’s got anime speed, chakra hacks, and Main Character Plot Armor proximity.
Fox wins. Narrowly.

---

😡 16. “Why is Kurama so grumpy?”

Because he has been used, caged, screamed at, and treated like a furry nuke for literal centuries.
He EARNED that grump.

---

💬 17. “What is Kurama’s catchphrase?”

Technically:

> “You damn brat.”
Emotionally:
“Tch.”

---

🦊 18. “Why is Kurama orange?”

Because anime color theory.
Also because fire chakra + “Naruto’s soul friend” = warm color palette vibes.

---

📦 19. “Could Kurama fit in a box?”

Only if it’s metaphorical and full of trauma.
Otherwise?
NO.
Kurama is house-sized and offended you even asked.

---

🎤 20. “Kurama voice actor?”

Absolute legend.
Sounded like a god, a demon, and your disappointed father all rolled into one.

---

💘 21. “Was Kurama Naruto’s best friend?”

Eventually? Yeah.
They started as enemies, fought through pain, grew into something deeply weird but beautiful.
Kurama was the only one who really saw Naruto, at his worst.
And still stayed.

---

Kurama:

Demonic fox king with millennia of lore ✅

Could delete continents with a tail swipe ✅

Emotionally exhausted roommate to Naruto ✅

Has paws, not feet, so we are safe here ✅✅✅

---

🦊📚 Top 21 Weirdest Things People Search About Jiraiya (With Commentary)

Because when it comes to “Toad Sage,” the weird, wild, and deeply embarrassing converge.

---

🐸 1. “Why is Jiraiya called Pervy Sage?”

Because the dude invented the art of awkward flirting and world-saving at the same time.
His life motto:

> “If you’re not a little creepy, you’re not trying hard enough.”

---

📖 2. “Was Jiraiya a good teacher?”

Honestly, yes.
Despite questionable priorities, he trained Naruto, Minato, and Nagato into absolute monsters.
A++ mentor, F for life choices.

---

👘 3. “Why did Jiraiya write adult novels?”

Because every legendary ninja needs a side hustle.
And nothing says “epic saga” like smutty toad-themed romance novels.
Also, it’s literally canon.

---

🤦‍♂️ 4. “Did Jiraiya ever get laid?”

Plot says no.
Fans say maybe.
Canon says he was too busy dying dramatically and mentoring orphans.

---

🐸 5. “What’s Jiraiya’s relationship with Tsunade?”

They’re besties with major unspoken feels.
A lifelong “will they/won’t they” trope that’s basically Naruto’s parental drama in slow motion.

---

🥴 6. “Why did Jiraiya die like that?”

Because drama.
Also: because it was heartbreaking and perfect storytelling.
He went down swinging—and crying into the rain.

---

🔮 7. “Could Jiraiya summon a toad army?”

Oh yeah.
He literally calls giant toads to fight for him like a one-man frog battalion.
Sasuke’s lightning squad has nothing on that.

---

📜 8. “What’s the Jiraiya prophecy?”

He predicted the apocalypse.
Also predicted Naruto’s greatness.
And probably predicted his own embarrassing deaths a few times.

---

😂 9. “Jiraiya funny moments compilation?”

Yes.
Including:

Creepy spying

Toad impersonations

Epic failed pickup lines

Dramatic death scenes with tears and poetry.

---

🦶 10. “Jiraiya feet wiki?”

Here we go again.
Leave the poor toad alone.
Feet are not toad business.
Stop.

---

🧙‍♂️ 11. “Was Jiraiya really that powerful?”

He was basically God-tier.
Sage Mode, summoning, giant fireballs, plus more sarcasm than anyone deserved.

---

❤️ 12. “Did Jiraiya love Naruto like a son?”

100%.
Every embarrassing moment, every proud smile, every battle was for Naruto.
A tragic father figure with a heart bigger than his ego.

---

🤔 13. “Why did Jiraiya trust Nagato?”

Because he saw himself in the kid: broken, idealistic, and dangerously naive.
Also, because he had bad taste in students sometimes.

---

🦸‍♂️ 14. “Jiraiya vs Pain fight breakdown?”

Iconic.
The battle was beautiful, tragic, and felt like watching a legend say goodbye.
Also, it wrecked half a village.

---

🧹 15. “Was Jiraiya messy?”

Legend says yes.
He didn’t care about clutter unless it involved exploding clay or forbidden texts.

---

💔 16. “How did Jiraiya’s death affect Naruto?”

Like a punch to the soul.
Naruto went full “I will avenge you and never stop fighting” mode.
Classic anime trauma fuel.

---

🤡 17. “Jiraiya jokes?”

Plenty.
Mostly about his pervy tendencies and failed romantic endeavors.
Also, his dramatic deaths.

---

🐸 18. “Why did Jiraiya become a hermit?”

Because somewhere inside he knew the world was a mess, and he preferred frogs to people.
Plus, privacy for writing questionable novels.

---

🧟 19. “Is Jiraiya immortal?”

No.
Despite all his antics, he died a hero.
No respawns here.

---

🦊 20. “Did Jiraiya like Kurama?”

He respected the fox.
He knew Naruto’s burden better than anyone.
Probably warned Naruto about it multiple times.

---

🧙‍♂️ 21. “What’s Jiraiya’s legacy?”

An eternal blend of laughter, tears, pervy antics, and sage wisdom.
A legend who taught us that being weird and powerful can coexist beautifully.

---

Jiraiya:

Legendary toad summoner ✅

Pervy sage extraordinaire ✅

Emotional support ninja ✅

Absolutely not to be googled for feet content ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

💥 1. “Why does Might Guy wear a green jumpsuit?”

Because he wants you to know he’s ready for a workout 24/7/365.
No ninja fashion police can stop this.

---

💪 2. “Is Might Guy stronger than Kakashi?”

Short answer: yes.
Long answer: if he opens the Eighth Gate, he’s basically a one-man wrecking crew.
But afterward? Let’s just say his body hates him.

---

🏃‍♂️ 3. “Why does Guy scream so much?”

Because that’s how energy flows, my friend.
Also: drama, hype, and pure life force.

---

🤣 4. “Is Might Guy a meme?”

He’s basically the granddaddy of ninja memes.
If “Sexy Technique” didn’t make you laugh, did you even watch Naruto?

---

🧍‍♂️ 5. “Why does Might Guy always pose?”

To inspire you.
To intimidate enemies.
Mostly to look fabulous while breaking your face.

---

🦸‍♂️ 6. “Can Might Guy beat the Eighth Gate?”

He did.
And he basically became a living explosion of rage and glory.
It was beautiful and terrifying and also deadly for him.

---

💚 7. “Who is Might Guy’s rival?”

Kakashi.
Their rivalry is like coffee vs tea but with more shouting and less calm.

---

🏋️‍♂️ 8. “What’s Might Guy’s training routine?”

No one knows, but it involves hours of screaming, jumping, and probably lifting mountains.
No chill. No rest.

---

😂 9. “Might Guy funny moments?”

Endless.
Including awkward moments with Neji, over-the-top speeches, and that legendary “Sexy Jutsu” performance.

---

🤔 10. “Why does Might Guy love Naruto?”

Because Naruto embodies his spirit: stubborn, energetic, and a little reckless.
Plus, Naruto never judges his jumpsuit.

---

💥 11. “How does Might Guy open the Eight Gates?”

With sheer willpower, loud screaming, and a willingness to basically disintegrate his own body.
Spoiler: It’s painful.

---

🤝 12. “Is Might Guy a good teacher?”

Absolutely.
He taught Lee how to channel passion and gave him a fighting chance in a world of magic ninjas.

---

🥋 13. “What’s Might Guy’s philosophy?”

> “Youth, effort, and hard work will always win over talent.”
And also: SWEATY JUMPSUITS ARE LIFE.

---

👊 14. “Might Guy vs Sasuke?”

Giant fists vs Sharingan.
It’s a toss-up, but don’t bet against green jumpsuit enthusiasm.

---

🦸‍♂️ 15. “Did Might Guy ever open all Eight Gates?”

Yes, once in the fight against Madara, and it nearly killed him.
Legendary moment = instant respect.

---

😂 16. “Might Guy memes?”

If you search this, prepare to lose hours.
They’re mostly about “YOUTH!” and his screaming face.

---

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 17. “Who is Might Guy’s best friend?”

Kakashi, whether they admit it or not.
Rivals and bros for life.

---

🎭 18. “Why is Might Guy so dramatic?”

Because ninja life is basically a nonstop soap opera.
He’s just embracing the drama fully.

---

🚀 19. “Can Might Guy fly?”

Nope.
But when he opens the gates, he moves so fast it looks like flying.

---

🥳 20. “What’s Might Guy’s favorite technique?”

The “Morning Peacock” and “Evening Elephant” are fan favorites.
Basically, big punches with theatrical names.

---

🔥 21. “Did Might Guy inspire Naruto?”

Absolutely.
He’s basically Naruto’s hype man with a side of sweat and determination.

---

Might Guy:

Green jumpsuit energy overload ✅

Relentless positive vibes ✅

Human hype machine ✅

Absolutely no feet memes (sorry, gremlins) ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

1. “Why is Neji so serious all the time?”

Because life dealt him the Hyuga family version of a rough hand: strict traditions, family expectations, and a permanent scowl.
Also, probably hasn’t heard a good joke since forever.

---

2. “Neji’s Byakugan powers explained?”

Basically:

360° vision except for a tiny blind spot

Can see chakra flow and pressure points

Looks cool as hell while doing it
Seriously, the original "X-ray ninja vision."

---

3. “Why did Neji hate his family?”

Because he was born into the branch family, forced to serve the main family—and literally had a cursed seal marking his fate.
Family drama 100%.

---

4. “How did Neji die?”

Sacrificed himself heroically protecting Naruto and Hinata.
Instant respect and sobbing everywhere.

---

5. “Was Neji a genius?”

Yes, but like seriously smart.
He cracked Hyuga techniques and chakra control faster than you can blink.

---

6. “Neji vs Naruto who wins?”

Depends on the arc. Early Naruto probably loses, later Naruto stomps.
But their fight was about more than strength—about belief and breaking fate.

---

7. “Why did Neji change his attitude?”

Because Naruto showed him that destiny isn’t fixed.
From “fated to suffer” to “I’ll fight for myself” real quick.

---

8. “Neji’s cursed seal?”

A symbol of the branch family’s subservience to the main family.
Neji’s biggest family issue, and a literal pain in the neck.

---

9. “Can Neji use Gentle Fist?”

Obviously.
Gentle Fist = Hyuga clan signature punch.
Hits chakra points and leaves you crying.

---

10. “Neji’s fighting style?”

Precision strikes, chakra control, and overwhelming opponents with Byakugan insight.
Basically, ninja chess with fists.

---

11. “Why is Neji’s blind spot important?”

Because every superhero has a weakness.
Enemies exploit it, but he’s trained to cover it well.

---

12. “Neji’s relationship with Hinata?”

Complicated sibling vibes.
Started as distant cousins but grew to respect each other deeply.

---

13. “Did Neji ever open the Eight Gates?”

Nope.
That’s more Might Guy’s thing.
Neji is more about subtle deadly precision.

---

14. “Neji’s age?”

Started the series at 13, died at around 17.
Too young, way too tragic.

---

15. “Neji’s personality traits?”

Serious, loyal, determined, and low-key emotional once you get to know him.

---

16. “Why did Neji fight Naruto in the Chunin exams?”

Because he believed in fate and wanted to prove his superiority.
Then Naruto shattered his worldview.

---

17. “Neji’s last words?”

Something heroic about protecting his friends and breaking free of fate.
Classic tragic ninja moment.

---

18. “Neji vs Sasuke?”

Different styles, but Sasuke’s got more elemental ninjutsu.
Neji’s all about close combat with ninja vision.

---

19. “Neji’s cursed seal removal?”

Happened after the Pain arc.
Freedom feels so good.

---

20. “Neji’s clan ranking?”

Main branch family would be top-tier.
Branch family, a bit lower—but he earned respect and changed perceptions.

---

21. “Neji’s legacy?”

Breaking the chains of fate and inspiring everyone to fight for their own future.
Ninja goals.

---

Neji:

Tragic Hyuga genius ✅

Punching fate in the face ✅

Family drama king ✅

No feet searches, just chakra points and destiny ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

1. “Why was Tobirama so strict?”

Because running a brand-new ninja village requires serious no-nonsense energy.
He was basically the village’s first drill sergeant with a lethal jutsu arsenal.

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2. “Did Tobirama create jutsu?”

Yes.
Many, actually — including the Shadow Clone Technique and the Flying Thunder God Technique.
He’s basically the grandpa of jutsu inventions.

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3. “Why did Tobirama hate the Uchiha?”

Complicated politics and past grudges.
He distrusted their Sharingan and feared their power—plus some serious clan tensions.

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4. “Was Tobirama a good Hokage?”

Depends on who you ask.
He was efficient and powerful but had controversial decisions, especially about the Uchiha and village policies.

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5. “How did Tobirama die?”

Killed in battle during the First Great Ninja War.
His death was brutal and marked a big turning point for Konoha.

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6. “Did Tobirama train Hiruzen Sarutobi?”

Yes, he was one of his teachers — passing down his strict but effective methods.

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7. “What is Tobirama’s personality?”

Blunt, pragmatic, and a bit cold.
Not the cuddliest Hokage, but definitely effective.

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8. “Did Tobirama invent Edo Tensei?”

Yes, the forbidden Reanimation Jutsu was his creation.
Dark and powerful legacy alert.

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9. “Why did Tobirama create the ANBU?”

Because you need a black ops ninja squad to keep things under control.
Efficiency over emotions.

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10. “Tobirama vs Hashirama who’s stronger?”

Hashirama usually wins, but Tobirama was no joke.
They made a deadly duo.

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11. “Was Tobirama racist against Uchiha?”

He was suspicious and tough on them, which some interpret as bias.
Politics + fear = harsh policies.

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12. “Tobirama’s fighting style?”

Fast, precise, and strategic.
He specialized in water-based jutsu and teleportation techniques.

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13. “Did Tobirama have a clan?”

Yes, the Senju clan—the founding family of Konoha.

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14. “Why was Tobirama’s face so serious?”

Because he literally had zero time for nonsense.
He was busy running a village and inventing jutsu.

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15. “Is Tobirama immortal?”

Nope.
But with Edo Tensei, he can be summoned back to life, which is honestly kind of creepy.

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16. “Tobirama’s relationship with Madara?”

Opposed each other in the early wars.
Classic Senju vs Uchiha rivalry.

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17. “Did Tobirama create the ninja academy?”

He laid the foundations for training the next generation.
Education is key.

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18. “Why did Tobirama create the Konoha Police Force?”

To maintain order and discipline within the village.

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19. “Tobirama’s chakra nature?”

Water Release master—his watery jutsu were deadly and precise.

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20. “What’s Tobirama’s legacy?”

A blend of brilliant innovation and tough leadership.
Some love him, some fear him, but no one forgets him.

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21. “Does Tobirama have any feet memes?”

Nope, just serious face and serious jutsu.
Feet are not in the Senju playbook.

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Tobirama:

Ice-cold Hokage energy ✅

Jutsu inventor extraordinaire ✅

Village founder with zero patience ✅

No feet memes, just pure respect ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

1. “Why did Danzo cover his eye with bandages?”

Because inside that eye was a whole army of Sharingan stolen from Uchiha victims.
Yeah, that’s right. Creepy ninja eye hoarder alert.

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2. “Did Danzo kill Uchiha?”

He was very involved in the massacre plot, yeah.
The guy didn’t play nice with the clan he distrusted.

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3. “How did Danzo get so many Sharingan?”

By stealing them from dead or dying Uchiha and implanting them into his right arm.
No questions asked. No ethics involved.

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4. “What is Izanagi and did Danzo use it?”

Izanagi is a forbidden genjutsu that allows the user to turn reality into illusion for a brief moment — basically cheating death.
Danzo abused this technique a LOT to survive fights.

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5. “Why did Danzo hate Naruto?”

Because Naruto represented everything Danzo opposed: hope, transparency, and friendship.
Also, Naruto was the Hokage’s favorite.

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6. “Was Danzo Hokage?”

Nope, but he tried to manipulate the system to get there.
Imagine the chaos if he had succeeded.

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7. “How did Danzo die?”

Died fighting Sasuke, who was on a revenge mission.
Danzo’s end was messy and symbolic.

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8. “Is Danzo evil?”

Depends who you ask.
Some say he was a necessary evil; others call him a villain with zero redeeming qualities.

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9. “Why did Danzo form Root?”

Root is a secret ninja faction dedicated to absolute loyalty and doing any dirty work for Konoha.
Danzo wanted control without questions.

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10. “What is Danzo’s fighting style?”

Aggressive, ruthless, and relying heavily on forbidden jutsu and Sharingan powers.
No honor, just results.

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11. “Did Danzo have Byakugan?”

Nope, just a stolen Sharingan army.

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12. “Why did Danzo hate the Uchiha?”

He feared their power and potential rebellion.
Also, he was paranoid about threats to his control.

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13. “How old was Danzo when he died?”

Somewhere in his 50s or 60s — exact age unknown.
Old but still deadly.

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14. “What’s Danzo’s personality?”

Cold, manipulative, utterly pragmatic, and lacking empathy.
The ultimate political player.

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15. “Did Danzo kill Hiruzen Sarutobi?”

Nope, but he certainly undermined him from the shadows.

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16. “What’s with Danzo’s right arm?”

Covered in bandages hiding multiple Sharingan eyes and the forbidden Shisui Uchiha’s eye.
A literal eye monster.

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17. “Did Danzo ever use the Flying Thunder God technique?”

No, that was Tobirama’s signature.

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18. “Was Danzo part of the Anbu?”

He led Root, a covert division within the Anbu with zero morals and full black ops vibes.

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19. “Why did Danzo dislike Itachi?”

He saw Itachi as a rival — someone who got to do what Danzo wanted but with more recognition.

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20. “Is Danzo immortal because of Izanagi?”

No, but he used Izanagi repeatedly to fake death in battles.
He was like a ninja version of “plot armor.”

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21. “Does Danzo have feet memes?”

Nope. Just shadow puppets and stolen eyeballs.
Feet don’t stand a chance here.

---

Danzo:

Shadow puppet master ✅

Creepiest eye collector ✅

Morally bankrupt political schemer ✅

Zero feet memes, only eyes ✅✅✅

Chapter Text

1. “Did Jesus have siblings?”

Yes. At least four brothers and some sisters, according to the Bible. But don’t ask how that squares with the whole “virgin birth” narrative—family drama, anyone?

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2. “Was Jesus married?”

No historical proof, but the internet won’t stop speculating. Sorry, no official “Mrs. Jesus” yet.

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3. “What did Jesus look like?”

Probably not the blond-haired blue-eyed dude from classic paintings. More likely Middle Eastern features — surprise!

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4. “Did Jesus really turn water into wine?”

According to the Bible, yes. The ultimate party trick.

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5. “What language did Jesus speak?”

Mainly Aramaic, but also Hebrew and possibly some Greek. Multilingual prophet alert.

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6. “Where is Jesus buried?”

Trick question. Christians believe he rose from the dead — so no grave visit.

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7. “Why did Jesus get crucified?”

Political and religious tensions. Long story short: he pissed off the wrong people.

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8. “Did Jesus perform miracles?”

According to scripture, yes — everything from healing to raising the dead.
Skeptics remain, naturally.

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9. “Was Jesus God?”

Central theological debate for centuries. Depends on your denomination and beliefs.

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10. “Is Jesus in the Quran?”

Yes, but as a prophet, not the Son of God. Muslim perspectives vary widely.

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11. “Did Jesus really walk on water?”

According to the Bible, yes — but some say it’s metaphorical or mythological.

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12. “Why did Jesus fast 40 days?”

Spiritual preparation and testing. Extreme fasting level: expert.

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13. “Who were Jesus’ parents?”

Mary and Joseph — but the whole “virgin birth” concept complicates Joseph’s biological role.

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14. “Did Jesus have a beard?”

Likely, yes. Bearded prophets are just more intimidating.

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15. “Was Jesus a revolutionary?”

In many ways, yes — challenging social norms and power structures.

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16. “What is the Holy Trinity?”

God as Father, Son (Jesus), and Holy Spirit — one God, three persons. Confusing? Welcome to Christian theology.

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17. “Did Jesus curse or swear?”

Not in the biblical texts. He was mostly all about love and forgiveness.

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18. “Is Jesus coming back?”

Many Christians believe in a Second Coming — spoiler alert: it’s still anticipated.

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19. “Was Jesus a vegetarian?”

No clear evidence, but some think he ate fish and lamb. No veggie-only menu here.

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20. “Did Jesus have a job?”

Carpenter, or “tekton” — a craftsman of some sort.

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21. “What was Jesus’ relationship with John the Baptist?”

Cousins and close — plus John baptized Jesus, marking his public ministry start.

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22. “Why did Jesus speak in parables?”

To teach lessons in ways people could remember — and sometimes to confuse the skeptics.

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23. “Was Jesus left-handed?”

No historical evidence, but wouldn’t that be a fun twist?

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24. “Did Jesus really feed 5,000 people?”

According to scripture, yes — loaves and fishes miracle. Food magic.

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25. “Why did Judas betray Jesus?”

Greed, political motivations, or divine plan? Theories abound.

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26. “What is the meaning of Jesus’ resurrection?”

Victory over death and promise of eternal life for believers.

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27. “Did Jesus speak to animals?”

No biblical proof — though that would’ve been a cool superpower.

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28. “What did Jesus eat?”

Fish, bread, figs, wine — basic Mediterranean diet.

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29. “Why is Jesus called the ‘Good Shepherd’?”

Because he cares for his “flock” — a metaphor for followers.

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30. “Is Jesus the same as Krishna?”

No, but people love comparing religious figures.
Cross-cultural spiritual mashups, anyone?

Chapter Text

1. “Why does Gojo wear a blindfold?”

Because his eyes are basically cheat codes. Covering them isn’t a fashion choice — it’s a “save humanity from my eyeball powers” move.

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2. “Is Gojo really the strongest?”

Oh, absolutely. He’s like that one guy at the party who wins every game without trying. Chill, Gojo, let the rest of us catch up someday!

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3. “Can Gojo see with his eyes closed?”

More like “eyes covered,” and yep — he’s got that super sight. Like, he’s seeing all the things you missed on your group chat.

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4. “Why is Gojo so cocky?”

If you had his powers, you’d probably be confident too. It’s less cocky and more “I’m this good and I know it.” Totally fair.

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5. “Does Gojo have a crush?”

The real question is: does anyone have a crush on him? Gojo’s too busy being fabulous to care much.

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6. “What is Gojo’s domain expansion?”

Infinite Void — think of it as the ultimate “mind-blown” zone. You step in, and suddenly you’re drowning in coolness (and a bit of existential panic).

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7. “Why does Gojo’s hair glow?”

Because when you’re basically a walking light show, you gotta let people know you’re here to impress. Also, it’s anime magic, no questions asked.

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8. “How old is Gojo?”

Young enough to be the life of the party, old enough to be everyone’s favorite teacher-slash-mystery-man.

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9. “Did Gojo go to Tokyo Jujutsu High?”

Yep, and he’s basically the reason the school is still standing. If he wasn’t around, curses would be having a field day.

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10. “Why does Gojo have so many memes?”

Because he’s hilarious without even trying. That smirk? Meme gold. The blindfold? Instant internet icon.

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11. “Can Gojo be defeated?”

Plot armor aside, let’s be real — Gojo’s got that “can’t touch this” vibe. Defeating him? Easier said than done.

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12. “What’s Gojo’s favorite food?”

Spicy food, naturally. Because why not have your taste buds match your personality?

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13. “Does Gojo have siblings?”

He’s got a family background with some interesting characters — you can bet family dinners are never boring.

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14. “Why does Gojo wear a mask under the blindfold?”

Because double mystery = double cool points. Plus, hiding that cheeky smile is basically unfair.

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15. “What is Gojo’s cursed technique?”

Limitless — think of it as ultimate control over space. Like, “I’m too cool for your physics” kind of power.

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16. “Why does Gojo have blue eyes?”

Because those Six Eyes aren’t just powerful, they’re stunning. Eyes that kill — in a good way.

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17. “Is Gojo evil?”

Nope! More like a lovable troublemaker who’s got your back — while cracking jokes at the worst moments.

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18. “Why does Gojo tease his students?”

Because teaching’s more fun when you mix in a little friendly teasing. Keeps everyone on their toes!

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19. “What’s Gojo’s relationship with Itadori?”

Mentor, hype man, occasional prankster — basically big brother energy with a lot of style.

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20. “Why does Gojo’s blindfold come off sometimes?”

To remind everyone he’s not just cool, he’s next-level cool. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to see those eyes?

Chapter Text

1. “Who is Yuji Itadori?”

The guy who ate a cursed finger and accidentally became a walking curse magnet. Hero material, chaos guaranteed.

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2. “Why did Itadori eat Sukuna’s finger?”

Because sometimes you gotta make very questionable life choices to save your friends. Also, because dramatic tension.

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3. “Can Itadori control Sukuna?”

Nope, but he’s trying real hard not to get possessed and wreck everyone’s day. It’s a work in progress.

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4. “What’s Itadori’s favorite food?”

Anything that isn’t cursed, please! He’s pretty normal when he’s not busy fighting evil.

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5. “Why is Itadori so strong?”

Because apparently, being the chosen one means your muscles and heart are both extra. Also, lots of training and determination.

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6. “How old is Yuji Itadori?”

Teenager vibes — about 15-16 and already carrying the weight of the supernatural world. No pressure, right?

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7. “Is Itadori related to Sukuna?”

Not biologically, but let’s just say they’re living very close together, whether they like it or not.

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8. “Does Itadori have any special powers?”

Yup! Super strength, insane speed, and the occasional demonic punch when Sukuna decides to pop in.

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9. “Who trained Itadori?”

Gojo and a few others who realized, “Well, better toughen him up fast.”

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10. “Why is Itadori so cheerful?”

Because hope is stubborn, and this guy is practically a walking motivational poster.

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11. “Can Itadori be a normal kid?”

Lol, no. But he tries anyway. Bonus points for trying to balance school and curses.

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12. “What’s Itadori’s relationship with Megumi?”

Best buds with a little friendly rivalry and a lot of saving each other’s butts.

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13. “Does Itadori have a crush?”

He’s young and sweet — but also way too busy saving the world to notice romance much.

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14. “Why does Itadori smile so much?”

Because if he didn’t, who would keep the rest of the cursed world from feeling too gloomy?

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15. “Can Itadori use cursed energy well?”

Still learning, but don’t sleep on him — that boy’s got potential and a whole lot of heart.

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16. “Why is Itadori so popular?”

Because everyone loves a guy who fights the bad guys and keeps his heart in the right place. Plus, he’s cute.

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17. “What’s Itadori’s goal?”

Simple: save people, eat tasty food, and keep Sukuna mostly in check.

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18. “Does Itadori get scared?”

Sure! He’s human, after all — but he doesn’t let fear stop him from doing what’s right.

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19. “What’s Itadori’s best quality?”

His kindness and relentless determination. Plus, he’s pretty funny when he’s not fighting.

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20. “Why is Itadori so relatable?”

Because underneath all the curse-fighting drama, he’s just a regular kid trying to do his best — and that’s everyone’s vibe.

Chapter Text

1. “Megumi Fushiguro cursed technique animal list” — Because yes, people want to catalog every shadow creature like it’s a Pokémon checklist.

2. “Megumi Fushiguro secret family tree explained” — Dark family drama is always a hit. Who knew ninja clans had soap opera levels of complexity?

3. “Is Megumi Fushiguro related to Toji the Sorcerer Killer?” — Spoiler: yes, but it’s not exactly a feel-good reunion.

4. “Why does Megumi always wear black?” — Fashion statement or mourning ritual? The mystery lives on.

5. “Megumi Fushiguro vs. Itadori strength comparison” — The eternal internet debate: who’s stronger? (Spoiler: depends on the day and the writer.)

6. “Can Megumi Fushiguro summon a dog?” — People just want confirmation he’s got a cursed puppy.

7. “Megumi Fushiguro sad moments compilation” — Because even shadow ninjas have their emotional breakdowns.

8. “Megumi Fushiguro face reveal without hair” — The “what if” haircut curiosity is real.

9. “Megumi Fushiguro age theory” — Internet detectives trying to pin down exactly how old this guy is.

10. “Megumi Fushiguro cosplay difficulty level” — For those brave enough to try the dark ninja vibe IRL.

11. “Megumi Fushiguro fanart with cats” — Somehow, cursed shadow puppets plus cats is a niche.

12. “Megumi Fushiguro personality type MBTI” — Because everyone’s gotta be an INFJ or INTJ apparently.

13. “Megumi Fushiguro cursed technique vs domain expansion” — People trying to understand ninja magic rules.

14. “Megumi Fushiguro height compared to Itadori” — Because size does matter in fan debates.

15. “Megumi Fushiguro voice actor age difference” — Curiosity about the real-life ninja voice.

16. “Megumi Fushiguro shadow dog name” — Yes, it has a name and people want it spelled correctly.

17. “Megumi Fushiguro cosplay wig price” — Serious business for the cosplay budget.

18. “Megumi Fushiguro mysterious past explained” — Plot spoilers and fan theories abound.

19. “Megumi Fushiguro vs Gojo power scale” — The ultimate power fantasy showdown.

20. “Megumi Fushiguro fan theories about family curse” — Because family curses are never simple or happy.

Chapter Text

1. “Sukuna curse powers explained” — Because, duh, people want to know just how terrifying this guy really is.

2. “Why does Sukuna have four arms?” — Anatomy questions meet demon curiosity. Two arms just aren’t enough for this king.

3. “Can Sukuna possess others besides Itadori?” — Spoiler: theoretically yes, but good luck with that.

4. “Sukuna vs Gojo who wins?” — The eternal showdown debated by fans and fate alike.

5. “Is Sukuna evil or just misunderstood?” — Philosophical fans wondering if demons have feelings too.

6. “Sukuna’s real name meaning” — Because every villain has a backstory and a name with weight.

7. “Sukuna fan theories about past life” — People trying to piece together his origin story from manga breadcrumbs.

8. “Sukuna’s cursed finger count” — They’re scattered, but how many exactly? Fans counting fingers like it’s a horror game.

9. “Why does Sukuna like spicy food?” — (Okay, this one might be a joke, but who knows?)

10. “Sukuna vs Orochimaru who’s stronger?” — Cross-fandom power battles because why not?

11. “Sukuna body possession rules” — The complex legalese of curse possession explained by fans.

12. “Sukuna’s domain expansion name” — Malevolent Shrine, the place you definitely don’t want to visit.

13. “Sukuna’s voice actor interviews” — Behind-the-scenes scoop on the King of Curses’ tone and attitude.

14. “Can Sukuna be sealed forever?” — Hopeful fans looking for ways to lock him away for good.

15. “Sukuna cursed technique vs domain expansion” — Magic mechanics deep dive for curious minds.

16. “Sukuna fan art with cute themes” — Because even demons get kawaii sometimes?

17. “Sukuna’s relationship with Itadori” — It’s complicated, to say the least.

18. “Sukuna’s favorite curse food” — Because hey, even demons need snacks, right?

19. “Sukuna four arms symbolism” — Cultural meanings behind his monstrous anatomy.

20. “Sukuna cosplay tips for four arms” — For the brave cosplayers tackling this epic challenge.

Chapter Text

1. “Why does Harry Potter have a lightning bolt scar?” — Because apparently, some folks still don’t know how iconic forehead injuries work.

2. “Can Harry Potter speak Parseltongue?” — Yes, and no, it’s not a skill you pick up on Duolingo.

3. “Harry Potter’s wand wood meaning” — People love dissecting every little detail of the magic stick.

4. “Why does Harry Potter wear glasses?” — For style? Necessity? Magical eyesight? The debate rages.

5. “Is Harry Potter a Horcrux?” — The ultimate “wait, what?” moment fans keep Googling.

6. “Harry Potter patronus shape” — What does a stag have to do with all this? Spoiler: it means a lot.

7. “Did Harry Potter really die?” — Spoilers and fan theories swirl endlessly.

8. “Harry Potter and Voldemort fanfic ships” — Because shipping chaos never ends.

9. “How old is Harry Potter in each book?” — Math meets magic in fan timelines.

10. “Harry Potter house sorting algorithm” — People want the definitive answer to their Hogwarts fate.

11. “Harry Potter and Hermione fan theories” — The OTP or just wishful thinking?

12. “Why does Harry Potter never use magic in Muggle school?” — It’s called a rule, people.

13. “Harry Potter broomstick speed” — Because flying fast is a major flex.

14. “Is Harry Potter immortal?” — Theories about surviving all those deadly encounters.

15. “Harry Potter and Snape relationship” — Complex emotions, bitter feelings, and deep regrets.

16. “Harry Potter invisibility cloak origin” — Family heirlooms and magical mystery.

17. “Harry Potter wand vs Voldemort wand” — Epic duel speculation.

18. “Harry Potter fan theories about Dumbledore” — Because the headmaster is full of secrets.

19. “Harry Potter and the cursed child spoilers” — Can’t help but look, even if you promised you wouldn’t.

20. “Harry Potter vs Voldemort who would win in real fight” — The eternal battle for fandom supremacy.

---

Chapter Text

1. “Why doesn’t Voldemort have a nose?” — #1 forever. People are obsessed. Is it a snake thing? A Horcrux side effect? Bad skincare?

2. “Is Tom Riddle hot?” — You need to calm down. He’s literally magical Hitler.

3. “Tom Riddle x reader fanfiction” — The amount of thirst for this war criminal is alarming.

4. “How many Horcruxes did Tom Riddle make?” — Trick question: too many. Like, “therapy” levels of too many.

5. “Did Tom Riddle love anyone?” — Not unless it was himself in the mirror of Erised.

6. “Tom Riddle middle name pronunciation” — It’s Marvolo, not Marvel-o. He’s not in the MCU, but thanks for playing.

7. “Was Tom Riddle abused?” — Yes. His backstory is a whole sociology essay waiting to happen.

8. “Tom Riddle real name theory” — Some people think there’s another layer to the name anagram. Internet, no.

9. “Tom Riddle diary fan theories” — Did it have feelings? Did it see things it shouldn't have? Is it sentient trauma?

10. “Tom Riddle vs Kylo Ren” — The Tumblr girlies are staging emo villain battle royales now.

11. “Did Tom Riddle ever cry?” — Not unless you count dramatic magical murder monologues.

12. “Tom Riddle actor glow-up” — Because yes, people care deeply about Young Riddle being "criminally attractive."

13. “Why does Tom Riddle hate Muggles if he’s half-blood?” — Because internalized self-hatred is the most dangerous spell of all.

14. “Tom Riddle fan edits sad music” — Of course there are montages of him set to Billie Eilish.

15. “Tom Riddle handwriting analysis” — People want to know if his cursive screams "I’m going to split my soul."

16. “Tom Riddle and Dumbledore secret connection” — No, they are not secretly father and son. Stop that.

17. “Was Tom Riddle a Slytherin or something else?” — Slytherin. Absolutely. And no, there’s no “Ravenclaw rising” AU. Probably.

18. “Is Tom Riddle the same as Voldemort?” — Please. Please stop.

19. “Can Tom Riddle come back?” — Honey, he got deleted from existence. No Ctrl+Z.

20. “Tom Riddle vs Light Yagami” — The evil genius death match no one asked for but everyone secretly wants.

Chapter Text

1. “Why is Ron Weasley so useless?” — THE AUDACITY. This man played wizard chess, faced a basilisk, and married Hermione. Put some respect on his name.

2. “Did Ron Weasley have a pet rat or mouse?” — Uh, technically yes… but that “rat” was a middle-aged man in disguise. (Not creepy at all.)

3. “Ron Weasley x reader fanfic” — The sweet cinnamon roll of Gryffindor deserves fluff, not angst. Don’t @ me.

4. “Was Ron Weasley poor?” — Yes, but in the “giant family, hand-me-down robes, and still happier than Malfoy” kind of way.

5. “Is Ron Weasley secretly powerful?” — Listen, anyone who can eat that much food and still duel Death Eaters is a unit.

6. “Ron Weasley leaves Harry and Hermione scene” — The camping drama that split the fandom in half.

7. “Does Ron Weasley die?” — No, but the internet has been trying to kill him off in headcanons for years.

8. “Ron Weasley actor now” — Rupert Grint lives. He’s thriving. He owns an ice cream truck.

9. “Ron Weasley jealous moments” — Too many to count, and every single one involves Hermione or Harry’s fame.

10. “Ron Weasley underrated” — Finally, a tag we can all get behind.

11. “Ron Weasley fan theories” — Some say he’s secretly Dumbledore in disguise. No, I’m not joking.

12. “Why did Ron Weasley get Hermione?” — Because she chose him, Karen.

13. “Ron Weasley wand break” — Let’s not talk about the slug spell incident.

14. “Ron Weasley and Scabbers true story” — The answer will disturb you. (It’s Peter Pettigrew. Ew.)

15. “Ron Weasley voice actor games” — Someone had to fill in when Rupert didn’t do the videogames.

16. “Ron Weasley vs Neville Longbottom” — In what sense? Popularity? Glow-up? Herbology?

17. “Ron Weasley angry moments” — A surprisingly rich topic.

18. “Ron Weasley best quotes” — “She needs to sort out her priorities.” ICONIC.

19. “Ron Weasley betrayed Harry Potter” — Relax, it was one fight in a tent.

20. “Ron Weasley feet wiki” — …NO. STOP. NOT AGAIN.

Chapter Text

1. “Why is Ron Weasley so useless?” — THE AUDACITY. This man played wizard chess, faced a basilisk, and married Hermione. Put some respect on his name.

2. “Did Ron Weasley have a pet rat or mouse?” — Uh, technically yes… but that “rat” was a middle-aged man in disguise. (Not creepy at all.)

3. “Ron Weasley x reader fanfic” — The sweet cinnamon roll of Gryffindor deserves fluff, not angst. Don’t @ me.

4. “Was Ron Weasley poor?” — Yes, but in the “giant family, hand-me-down robes, and still happier than Malfoy” kind of way.

5. “Is Ron Weasley secretly powerful?” — Listen, anyone who can eat that much food and still duel Death Eaters is a unit.

6. “Ron Weasley leaves Harry and Hermione scene” — The camping drama that split the fandom in half.

7. “Does Ron Weasley die?” — No, but the internet has been trying to kill him off in headcanons for years.

8. “Ron Weasley actor now” — Rupert Grint lives. He’s thriving. He owns an ice cream truck.

9. “Ron Weasley jealous moments” — Too many to count, and every single one involves Hermione or Harry’s fame.

10. “Ron Weasley underrated” — Finally, a tag we can all get behind.

11. “Ron Weasley fan theories” — Some say he’s secretly Dumbledore in disguise. No, I’m not joking.

12. “Why did Ron Weasley get Hermione?” — Because she chose him, Karen.

13. “Ron Weasley wand break” — Let’s not talk about the slug spell incident.

14. “Ron Weasley and Scabbers true story” — The answer will disturb you. (It’s Peter Pettigrew. Ew.)

15. “Ron Weasley voice actor games” — Someone had to fill in when Rupert didn’t do the videogames.

16. “Ron Weasley vs Neville Longbottom” — In what sense? Popularity? Glow-up? Herbology?

17. “Ron Weasley angry moments” — A surprisingly rich topic.

18. “Ron Weasley best quotes” — “She needs to sort out her priorities.” ICONIC.

19. “Ron Weasley betrayed Harry Potter” — Relax, it was one fight in a tent.

20. “Ron Weasley feet wiki” — …NO. STOP. NOT AGAIN.