Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kurapika lay on the ground, battered and badly bruised from the fight. As strong as his lust for revenge was, it didn’t match with the person trying to keep him from achieving his goals.

“You can have the eyes,” The shadowy figure above him sneered, waving the glass jars that housed the glowing crimson orbs in front of Kurapika's face. In a futile attempt, Kurapika reached up, his fingers just grazing the edge of their wooden frame before they were quickly yanked away. “But…” the man ran his finger along the side of the thin glass. “You’ll need to give me quite a bit in return.”

“What… Do you want?” Kurapika mustered, clenching his fists into tight knots. He was fully ready to give up whatever he needed to, including his life. He hadn’t come this far just to lose at the last moment. “I’ve seen him in your head. There’s only one other person you’re truly living for.”

“What are you talking about?” Kurapika croaked, pushing himself up onto his elbows and spitting into the pile of blood lying next to him. He grimaced as he attempted to stand, clutching his injured side as he did. He had given up on using Nen a while ago. It was too taxing.

“You know exactly who I'm talking about,” The man snapped back, the weight of his voice knocking Kurapika back another step. “I know how your Nen works, Kurapika. We both know that he is the last true emotional tie that could give you enough power to defeat me. Don’t make me spell it out again. I'm practically giving you this win.”

He didn’t have to. Kurapika did it. He made a vow that would affect the one and only person he would have ever dreamed of coming back to after all of this. Kurapika hated himself for doing it. But there was nothing else that made him as emotionally charged as the tall, dark-haired man who was probably doing the most irrelevant of tasks while Kurapika put his life on the line for what seemed to be the 500th time that day.

He has to get these eyes. He couldn’t - wouldn't - stop until he had them. Even if it meant risking Leorio’s life.

He mustered up all the strength he had left in his weak frame, the edges of his eyes already burning with the bright crimson color that would soon consume the rest of his soul.

His powerful Nen burned through every nerve in his body as he recited what could have been his last vow.

If I die, Leorio dies, too.

If I live, he lives.

As simple as that.

Leorio’s life on the line was the only thing that could get Kurapika to fully control what was left of him and give him the boost of power that would get him to his goal.

A cry escaped Kurapika’s sore throat as he lurched through the air, the power of this pact coursing through every edge of his body. In mere moments, the evil man in front of him was dead. It didn’t take much. Just his revenge and the power behind the words he now had riding on his back.

As Kurapika left the broken-down cathedral, clutching the pair of eyes to his chest, he let a tear escape his crimson eye.

Leorio can never know how close we came to dying. 

“KURAPIKAAAAAAAAA!” Gon’s fleeting voice yelled through the field. Startled, Kurapika perked his head up, away from the book in his hands. “KILLUA KEEPS TRYING TO SHOCK ME!” His shouts were followed by a mixture of giggles from both boys chasing each other in the yard. As Kurapika looked on from where he sat in a small hammock, he watched with a small smile as the boys ran around with the sun shining in the background. It was summer on Whale Island, and the sun was still incredibly high in the sky at three in the afternoon.

Kurapika hummed to himself. “Aren’t you guys both 17 now? And still asking me to referee for you?” Kurapika didn’t know if the boys had heard this, but he didn’t care regardless. He was trying to peacefully enjoy his last few nights on the island as best as he could. Kurapika tucked a piece of stray hair behind his ear and continued reading.

It had been two weeks since Kurapika came to the Island, and four months since he had completed the one task that kept him from settling down anywhere. That fact alone made Kurapika feel empty inside.

He had done it. He had collected every known pair of Scarlet Eyes from around the world and had given them a proper burial. When he found the last pair, he took his collection and brought them to a spot in a field he couldn’t remember any longer. He was smarter than to simply leave them buried there, exposed to the public under a thin sheet of dirt, and instead used a secret nen ability no one else knew about. It was only to be used once he found all of the eyes, and it worked like this: Kurapika would bury the eyes the proper Kurta way, but after this was finished, he would activate the Nen that would make the eyes invisible to anyone, no matter what power they used. It also made Kurapika forget where he had buried the eyes, because the second it was placed, Kurapika was teleported to a neutral location he decided upon, and the memory of where he was before was erased.

Kurapika allowed his Nen to let him remember that he had buried them. He very vividly remembered laying them in the ground and waiting with them to give them a proper farewell. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t conjure up an image any wider than his field of vision with his eyes. And for him, that was okay.

Kurapuka took a long exhale and adjusted himself in the hammock he had claimed as his own for the afternoon. Laying the book he had previously been reading against his chest, he looked down towards the rest of his body. Although he had dressed like this for the past few weeks, Kurapika was still shocked when he saw the oversized graphic tee and long cargo pants that covered his body. He had his normal suit and tie cleaned and ironed, waiting for him in his room. But even so, he felt as if he had overextended his stay too long, so turning down the clean clothes they had offered him just seemed rude. Besides, the summer heat left Kurapika feeling toasty even with a short-sleeved shirt.

The boys played for a while longer, and it eventually ended with them tackling each other to the ground and giving up their fight altogether. Kurapika watched every so often at the boys lying next to each other on the ground. His chest filled with warmth as he watched them steal quick pecks from each other and talk with soft but hushed voices.

Kurapika swallowed to himself as he returned to his book: a poetry collection from one of his favorite authors. It was mainly poems written for the author's wife, with everything from the most compassionate array of words to the angry confessions in the middle of a fight. Reading things like this was a common pastime for Kurapika; however, the more he read, the lonelier he began to feel.

Since he reclaimed his brethren’s eyes, he couldn’t get the image of himself selfishly putting an innocent life on the line without thinking. Sure, both of them lived, but at what cost? He awoke almost nightly, gasping for air as the image of a failed mission filled his head, Leorio lying lifeless after doing nothing but caring for the people around him.

Kurapika hated himself for everything he had done. Every time he read these poems and thought maybe in another life, he cursed under his breath and scolded himself for ever thinking such a thing. No one would love me, he thought to himself, especially not the person whose life I so selfishly put on the line.

“Boys! Come help set the table!” Kurapika was startled out of his thoughts at the sound of Gon’s Aunt Mito calling from the doorway. Killua and Gon quickly jumped up from where they had previously lain, and Kurapika followed suit, closing the door behind him.

The house was ten times cooler than the outside was, and all three of the boys shuddered as they adjusted to the change. Kurapika followed the two younger boys into the kitchen, a normal routine from the past few weeks. Since he was staying at the house for free, Kurapika would have rather died than turn down the opportunity to help out.

“I’m just going to finish putting the stuff together before I let it all cook,” Mito smiled as she opened the large cabinets that housed the family’s cutlery. Gon nodded, and Kurapika immediately went to pick up the normal plates to set the table. As Gon and Killua placed napkins and silverware, Kurapika quickly counted out five plates - for Gon, Killua, Mito, Gon’s Great-Grandmother, and himself. He clutched the plates carefully to his chest and turned to hand them to Gon.

“Thanks!” He grinned as he placed the plates around each seat at the table. Kurapika was just about to head to his room to change his shirt when he heard Killua’s voice.

“Uh, we’re gonna need another plate, Gon,” Killua said, appearing behind Gon and recounting the plates that had been laid on the clothed table. “There are six of us, right?”

Kurapika looked at them, confused. “Six? There are only five,” he corrected Killua, closing the glass cabinets behind them. Gon was lighting the small candle in the center of the table when he perked up.

“Oh yeah! I forgot!” Gon shot Killua with a look that Kurapika couldn’t quite decipher. “Can you please grab one more, Kurapika?”

Kurapika nodded, confused. “Who else is joining us?” He handed Gon the last plate and grabbed the tall pitcher of water off the table next to him.

Both Gon and Killua looked at Kurapika, dumbfounded. “What do you mean? We told you who was coming, right?” Killua elbowed Gon in the side, who in turn shot Killua another dirty look and winced in pain. Kurapika shook his head, making his way around the table with the pitcher.

Surely it couldn’t be him, could it? I know we haven’t all been together in over a year, but they wouldn’t invite him and not tell me, would they?

“No?”

Don’t say Leorio. Don’t say Leorio. Don’t say Leo-

“Leorio! Surprise, Kurapika!” The boys beamed at Kurapika with wide-mouth smiles. Kurapika had to use every muscle in his body to keep his knees from collapsing. “Aren’t you excited?”

Kurapika’s breath hitched in his throat as he croaked out a response. “Y-yeah. So excited,” his voice trailed off.

“Uhm, are you sure?” Killua noticed the hesitation in Kurapika’s voice. “We figured you out of anyone would be excited.” Killua shot Gon another look. It was clear that this was something they had been planning, and very obviously left Kurapika out of it.

Kurapika fidgeted with the small red earring that hung from his ear. He cleared his throat, becoming serious again. “Yes, I am okay. I was just surprised. This will be…” he hesitated on finding a word for a breath too long. “Fun.”

The two decided Kurapika’s response was good enough for them as they looked back at the table. “Well, we'd better go get ready then! Do you want to come down to the dock with us to meet him, Kurapika?” Gon smiled.

“Sure,” Kurapika’s mouth worked faster than his head. What was he saying? He was trying to avoid seeing Leorio for as long as possible.

“We leave at six PM sharp!” Gon laughed as he followed Killua back to his room. Kurapika lingered in the kitchen for a moment, eyeing the extra plate on the table as the pit in his stomach began to sink lower. He checked the watch on his small wrist. 5:28. He had just over half an hour to prepare for what could have been one of the best nights of his life. If only I hadn’t been so selfish, Kurapika cursed to himself, and he slowly walked back to his room.

Chapter Text

Since the burial of his friends and family, Kurapika couldn’t get rid of the tension in his shoulders. He clenched his jaw too tightly when he slept, not trusting what would happen if he was vulnerable for even just a moment. 

He hid out from place to place: broken down alleys, abandoned apartments. Wherever he could find a roof for the night was good enough for him. He hadn’t taken a real shower in over a month, and his clothes were becoming threadbare from the numerous uses. 

Worst of all, his chains never once left his hands. Normally, it was an on-and-off situation - he’d summon them when needed, and they’d disappear again when he was in the clear. But now, nowhere felt safe. He was numb inside. He could put on a relaxed smile at a moment's notice, but it never felt real. 

Kurapika didn’t know how to feel anything but numb anymore. Warmth would fill his chest for a short moment as he watched people go about their day: couples holding hands, or friends laughing in a group. But every time, without fail, it ended with Kurapika returning to his “place” for the night, complete with thick blood trailing out of his wrists as his eyes burned bright scarlet. 

Every time he felt happy for someone else, he punished himself. He could have had it, but he was too selfish. If he wasn’t adding to the scars on his wrists, Kurapika would sit with his chains burning into his hands, Emperor Time ticking, ticking, ticking until he’d pass out from pure exhaustion. Over and over again, he repeated to himself: I won’t ever forgive myself. And that’s how he lived. For months, the cycle didn’t change. 

He became feverishly thin, and no amount of clothes, not that he had many, could keep him from shivering in the night. His hair continued to grow out, remaining unkempt from its normal picture-esque look. 

It wasn’t until he bumped into Gon and Killua on a hot summer day that he was forced back into a rhythm. 

“Kurapika, please. We beg of you. Just for a few days, stay with us!” Gon pleaded with large, beaming eyes. Killua nodded in agreement, standing behind Gon protectively. Kurapika told himself he could say no, but it was becoming more difficult the more that Gon pleaded. 

Even if he accepted the boy’s offer of hospitality, it didn’t get rid of what happened behind closed doors.

—--------------------------------

The three boys watched curiously as the large boat docked in the small harbor on Whale Island. Well, two watched curiously while the other fidgeted with the chains on his hand. Kurapika pulled his sleeves down, hiding the new bandages that covered his wrists. The button-down he wore fit him too loosely, and he knew it was because he had thinned drastically. Knowing Leorio, Kurapika knew that he would notice the way his collar left too much space around his neck, or how his shoulders seemed to sink under their weight. If there was one thing Kurapika could hide from Leorio, he would have rather had it be his scars. 

Gon was the first to lunge at Leorio when he walked off the boat. Even though both boys had grown exponentially over the past few years, it was still an anomaly to see how much taller Leorio remained compared to them. 

“Gon! Killua!” Leorio ruffled their hair with a grin on his face. “You two got so much taller!”

“And I’m almost as tall as Killua!” Gon put a flat hand just above his hair to compare his height to Killua’s. Killua smirked at this. 

“Idiot. You’ll never be taller than me!” 

Kurapika had stayed back quite a few feet, giving the boys their moment with the tall brunette. 

“Look who else is here!” Gon tugged at Leorio’s shoulder to face him towards Kurapika. 

Kurapika’s heart sank lower into his stomach as he met Leorio’s eyes. He watched as they softened for only half a second before looking more concerned than anything. Kurapika nervously played with the chains on his hand again, and he avoided eye contact as the boys brought Leorio nearer. 

Leorio looked good. His skin was slightly tanned from the sun, and Kurapika noticed how toned his arms and shoulders looked even through his long shirt. Kurapika felt like he was only a foot tall as Leorio loomed over him. 

“Kurapika,” Leorio’s voice broke Kurapika out of his trance. He looked up to meet his face. “It’s… good to see you.” The man smiled softly, and Kurapika’s heart rate sped up. 

“You too,” Kurapika only looked at him for a moment longer before Gon and Killua grabbed Leorio by the arms. 

“You have to be starving! Aunt Mito is making something really good tonight!” They were already halfway across the dock by the time Kurapika registered what was happening. His stomach twisted in knots as he followed the group back to the house. 

________

The meal had been uneventful for the most part. The atmosphere was buzzing from everyone catching up, but it was a calm buzz. Kurapika might have even felt happy in this scenario if it wasn’t for the guilt that consumed him. 

He hardly talked during the meal. Instead, Kurapika busied himself by picking apart the food on his plate. He never had much of an appetite anymore, but felt pressured to eat when it was offered to him by Gon’s family. 

Periodically, Kurapika would look up and listen intently to what the group was saying at the time. Leorio talking about med school tests, Gon talking about a fish he caught, and Killua nodding along, admiring Gon beside him. Mito would stop the conversations at times, especially when interested in Leorio’s studies. The table would grow quiet as the tall man would explain a disease he was studying, or as he talked about the kids he took care of in the pediatric ward of the hospital. And after they all praised him profusely for this, Leorio would get flustered and nervously scratch his neck: a quirk Kurapika had always admired. 

“What about you, Kurapika? You haven’t said much,” Kurapika’s fork dropped onto his plate when he heard Leorio’s voice.

“What about me?” Kurapika asked, acting like he had no idea what the conversation was about. 

“What kind of stuff have you been up to? Are you still looking for the…” Leorio gestured to the topic, but his voice trailed off. Everyone, especially Leorio, knew that the eyes were a sensitive topic for Kurapika throughout their friendship. 

Of course, he’d ask about that. 

Gon perked up beside Leorio. “Oh yeah! Kurapika has big news about that!” Gon winked at Kurapika. He had told the boys when they first bumped into each other about this, but it hadn’t been brought up since. 

“Really?” Leorio looked towards Kurapika again, the corners of his mouth tilted upwards into a smile that looked like it could be saying either “I’m so proud of you!” or “Is this finally over?” “Did you find all of them?”

Kurapika gulped as he slowly nodded yes. It was fine if Leorio knew about the eyes as long as the contract was left a secret.

Leorio almost jumped out of his seat. “Kurapika! That’s amazing! This is what you’ve been working towards for years! How did you do it? Where are they?” It was obvious how proud of Kurapika Leorio was. All it did was hurt Kurapika more. 

“Well, uh, it’s kind of a long story,” Stay as vague as possible, he told himself. Mito had begun gathering the plates of the others at the table, not wanting to interrupt the new conversation. Kurapika eyed her, hoping for a way out of the room, but was drawn back in. 

“We’ve got all night,” Leorio shrugged, looking to Gon and Killua for reinforcement. Both nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah, I want to hear it again,” Killua crossed his arms. Kurapika sighed, fidgeting with the chains on his hand again. 

Carefully, he explained how he managed to get the last few pairs of eyes. A few of the pairs had been relatively easy to find once Kurapika knew of their location. The final pair was what gave him the most trouble. He described the man he had to fight, and how difficult it was, but eventually ended with lying and saying that it was a surrender from the masked man into giving him the eyes. Gon and Killua didn’t know the full story either, so he hoped his story would be believable to all of them. 

After this, he told them about the Nen he used to bury them, and how he now had no idea where the eyes lay. All three boys listened to Kurapika in awe as he explained this. Leorio’s eyes never once broke their soft gaze towards the blonde. 

When he was finished, everyone, including Gon and Killua, stared at Kurapika with their mouths open. Seeing this, Kurapika got nervous.

“Did I say something insensitive?”

“Not at all! Kurapika, that's amazing!” Leorio’s smile was bigger than ever. 

“It’s nothing out of the ordinary,” Kurapika shrugged as he stood up from the table, grabbing the glass of water in front of him. 

“Man, Kurapika, you’ve gotta learn to give yourself more credit,” Leorio huffed as everyone else stood up consecutively. “It really is incre-”

“Leorio, Killua and I have to show you this new game that we got! You’d love it!” Gon was tugging on Leorio’s sleeve before he had the chance to finish. “Please, please, pleaseeeeee,” Gon drew out the last word, pleading towards Leorio. Killua was already plugging in the game in the living area behind them. Leorio froze for a moment, looking towards Kurapika, who was gathering up leftover bowls and glasses, and at Gon, who was now pulling Leorio into the next room.

Kurapika noticed Leorio’s hesitation almost immediately. “I don’t need help, don’t worry. Go hang out with them,” Kurapika put on his award-winning fake smile. “I was going to go on a walk anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Leorio mouthed as he began to give in to Gon’s pleas. Kurapika nodded slightly and turned towards the kitchen with the dirty dishes. 

___________

The humidity on Whale Island was something Kurapika didn’t think he’d ever be able to get used to. Even with a slight breeze, Kurapika could still feel the small droplets of sweat forming on his brow. 

He was sitting on a rock that overlooked the ocean. Whale Island was known for its crystal clear waters, but Kurapika had never really taken the chance to admire them until tonight. The way that the sun was setting on the horizon, orange fading into yellow, fading into blue - It was beautiful. He rarely got quiet moments like these in his life anymore, so he took advantage of them when they came his way. They were also the best moments for getting his thoughts out. 

Seeing Leorio again today made Kurapika realize two things. 

1. He fucked up. Badly.
2. He needed to keep distancing himself. No matter how hard it was. 

Leorio wasn’t one to be bothered by closed-off body language. Kurapika was beginning to think he had ignored it altogether. From time to time, Kurapika would scroll through the unanswered texts from Leorio. 

I hope you’re okay. 

I talked to Gon and Killua today. They really miss you. 

Please make sure you’re eating. 

Every time he read them, Kurapika would put his phone down and stare up at the ceiling, picturing what his life might have been like if he weren’t so selfish all the time. But as always, he’d scold himself for ever thinking he could be loved after the things he did. Besides, being selfish meant that people couldn’t get close enough for him to hurt them, right?

Kurapika pulled his phone out and opened the browsing app. 

He knew that he couldn’t stay on Whale Island any longer. As nice as the hospitality was, he needed to get out of there. Not only was he 22 with no job, but he was also 22 without an actual place of residence. Since he got to Whale Island, he had been trying to find a place he could go to next to find some sort of shelter. So far, he decided that he would be taking the evening ferry to get to Shanha City in three days. He figured that once he got there, he’d either hide out in another abandoned building or find a studio apartment at the lowest price possible. Just something with a roof was all he wanted. 

“So the phone does exist,” Kurapika almost fell off the rock he was sitting on. He whipped his head around. 

He tried to think of something to say, but the only thing that escaped his mouth was a small squeak. Leorio just chuckled as he walked over to where Kurapika was sitting.

"How long have you been standing there?"

“Not long. Mind if I take a seat?” He asked, gesturing to the spot next to Kurapika. 

“Not at all.” 

Leorio sat down with a sigh, leaning his forearms on his knees and crossing his hands. Kurapika tried not to stare as he did this, but it was almost impossible. He took in as many of Leorio’s features as he could in a second, even noticing a small scar on his eyebrow that he hadn’t noticed before. Kurapika forced himself to peel his eyes away as Leorio inhaled. 

“So you really did get all the eyes, huh?” Leorio didn’t break his gaze on the ocean in front of them. “What will you do now?”

Kurapika clicked the sides of his shoes together. “I’m leaving in a few days. I think I’m going to go to Shanha City. I’ll try to find work there, hopefully a place to stay, too.”

“Shanha City, eh? I hear it’s pretty nice there.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for.”

“What happened to you working with the Nostrade family?” Leorio sat up. He glanced over at Kurapika, who had resorted to lightly kicking the dirt with the heel of his foot.

“They’re all horrible people. I couldn’t deal with it any longer,” Kurapika said, with little-to-no emotion in his voice. 

“I would have expected as much from a family like them,” Leorio chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the mood. When nothing happened, he nervously cleared his throat before changing the subject. “Kurapika, uh,” Leorio waited for a moment. “How come you never returned any of my calls or texts?”

Kurapika closed his eyes for a moment. Keep adding to the lies. “I couldn’t answer them. I was too busy. I’m sorry.” Short and sweet. He hoped Leorio wouldn’t pry.

And for once, Leorio didn’t. “I’m glad you’re still alive, Kurapika,” Leorio said after a moment, standing up. 

“Yeah,” Kurapika whispered, not fully believing the words. He watched as Leorio offered a hand.

“We should probably get inside. The boys will come looking for us if we don’t,” Leorio laughed to himself. “Well, they’ll come looking for me at least. I told them I was using the restroom.”

Kurapika looked at Leorio’s outstretched hand for a long moment before he reached out. 

It was only a small contact, one that could be seen as just someone being polite. Kurapika pushed himself up to standing, heart thumping as Leorio’s hand lingered on his for a moment too long. The feeling of where Leorio’s hand was stung against Kurapika’s as he sighed and followed Leorio back to the house.

___________

Three days later, Gon, Killua, and Leorio brought Kurapika to Whale Island’s dock. As the boat he was going to board came into view, Kurapika looked back towards his friends.

He had already thanked Gon and his family for being so kind and letting him live with them for those few weeks. He offered to pay Aunt Mito back for everything, but she refused with the words: “If Gon sees you as family, I see you as family. Family members don’t get paid to be good people.”

“Kurapika, I’m gonna miss you so much. Please come back soon,” Gon squeezed Kurapika tightly in protest of his leaving. When he peeled away, Killua also gave Kurapika a quick hug.

“Yeah, you better come back soon. I can’t deal with Gon alone.” Gon elbowed Killua in the side. 

“We’ll see each other again, there’s no doubt about it,” Kurapika looked over his shoulder as the captain began calling for people to board the ship. “I should get going. Thank you again, guys.”

He began to turn towards the gates when he heard: “See you soon, Kurapika.” He turned around as he watched Leorio salute him. Kurapika forced a smile as he picked up his bag and left. 

He didn’t turn around once and kept moving until he was on the boat and the top deck. He leaned over the railing as the boat departed the dock, letting the breeze move through his hair. 

Kurapika let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He was on his own again. The words stung, but he knew it was for the best. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it?

They were about twenty minutes into the trip when Kurapika sensed someone walking up next to him. He didn’t bother to see who it was until they spoke.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

Kurapika’s head shot around in an instant. You have got to be kidding me. “What? How? What are you doing here?” Kurapika jumped back, defensive when he saw that Leorio was right in front of him. “Why are you following me?”

Kurapika watched as Leorio chuckled lightly. “Relax, Sunshine,” he teased. “Did I forget to mention that I work in Shanha City?"

Chapter Text

“Did I forget to mention that I work in Shanha City?”

Kurapika looked at Leorio like he had just seen a ghost. Kurapika had been researching places far away from everyone he knew. This was supposed to be his hideout. 

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

Leorio laughed to himself, his smile bringing a blush to Kurapika’s face without warning. Thankfully, Leorio had looked away long enough for Kurapika to regain his composure. “I’ve been working there for the past six months. I wasn’t lying when I said it was nice there.”

Kurapika didn’t know what to say. The only emotion he could make out at that moment was anger. He didn’t want Leorio around him. That’s what he taught himself over the past year. No matter what life he might have dreamed of living at one point would never happen.  So instead, he shut his mouth again. He’d find a way out of the city as soon as he got there. 

Leorio watched as Kurapika's emotions changed. He already knew that Kurapika was thinking about how he’d get out of the city the moment he got there. He wasn’t going to try to pry Kurapika out of the idea - it would be futile for him to even try . But maybe , he thought to himself. Maybe, I can at least distract him from doing that. Then I might have a moment longer before he disappears again. 

Leorio exhaled dramatically, hanging his lengthy arms over the railing of the ship. Kurapika swore that every time he was in contact with Leorio, somehow he managed to get taller. 

“Does this mean you’re officially a doctor now?” Kurapika was the first to break the silence as he thought back to Leorio’s stories from the nights before. Leorio glanced over, standing up straight again and leaning against the railing with his back. 

“Not quite. Soon, though. Hopefully.”

“What more do you have to do?”

“Final exam,” Leorio replied, pushing his glasses back up on his nose. “Next week.”

“You must be pretty stressed then,” Kurapika began walking to a bench a few feet away. Leorio joined almost immediately, hissing when the seat beneath him was burning hot. 

“That test was the only reason I said ‘yes’ when Gon and Killua invited me to the island. I needed something to take my mind off it. I would have gone insane if I hadn’t gotten out,” Leorio ran a hand through his hair.

“So they didn’t tell you I was there?” Kurapika asked, piecing the puzzle together.

“Nope. I thought they were joking when I got off the boat until I saw you. I thought you were dead,” Leorio paused, backing up. “No offense.” 

“None taken. You weren’t the only person,” Kurapika gulped and looked down towards his wrists. They were covered by his shirtsleeves, but it felt as though they were screaming out, letting the rest of the world know that he believed he should have been dead, too.  

The two talked on and off for the rest of the three-hour trip. Mainly about how long it had been since their whole group had been together, but sometimes about what the other was doing with their life. Kurapika never said more than a few words. 

When they pulled into the dock, the sun was setting behind them, creating an orange glow in the sky. Neither Kurapika nor Leorio noticed the dark looming clouds coming towards them over the city as they disembarked from the ship.

“Are you sure you don’t need a place to stay tonight, Kurapika?” Leorio asked once they were in the city. “You said you were still looking for a place to stay.”

“I’m fine,” Kurapika said, too fast. “I’m fine. I’ll find a place.”

Leorio didn’t look convinced by these words. The corners of his lips sank as he held onto the fleeting moment between them. Kurapika was glancing at a clock on a pole behind Leorio as if he were in a rush to get somewhere. 

“Can I at least give you my address? Just in case,” Leorio offered as a final attempt, already reaching into his bag for a post-it note. Kurapika held a hand up in protest.

“That won’t be necessary. I should go before it gets too dark. Goodbye, Leorio.” And with that, Kurapika walked away. Leorio’s heart was surprised by how abrupt he was, but his mind knew this was how it always was. 

He sighed to himself as he found a taxi. When the driver asked where he was going, he gave his address and then scoffed to himself.

At least someone wanted my address today.

Leorio fidgeted with his fingers as he was driven to his apartment complex. He was ashamed of himself. Ashamed that he let Kurapika leave so easily again, and to who knows where. Ashamed that he didn’t take advantage of the time they were together. 

When he finally arrived at his apartment, all he could think about was the fact that he would have to go back to living alone again. Sure, he was used to this by now, but every time he thought about Kurapika, it was harder and harder for him to accept. 

He flipped through the keys in his pocket until he found the one for his apartment and opened the door. 

Everything was just as he left it. Books were strewn around the coffee table. Pens and pencils littered the countertops. Cups of coffee were left around the room. The thermostat was set to a temperature that made everything colder - it helped him stay awake. 

It wasn’t a lot, but it was his home. 

He shivered as he walked inside and flipped on the light switch. He dropped his briefcase next to him and shimmied out of his coat. Once his shoes slipped off his feet, he went immediately to the couch in his living area and threw himself down on it. Leorio groaned as he buried his face in a pillow, almost half of his legs hanging off the other end of the small sofa. When he finally sat up again, he grabbed his phone to check the time. 

5:32. Still early in the evening. It gave him plenty of time to feed into his self-pity. 

Leorio peeled himself off the couch. He hardly noticed the soft raindrops that had begun hitting his window . Just a slight drizzle. Small bits of rain like this occurred often. 

He unbuttoned his shirt as he carried himself to his small bathroom. He showered quickly, letting the hot water steam away what it could of his regret. The t-shirt and sweatpants he normally wore to sleep were already waiting for him on his bed, so Leorio quickly grabbed them and put them on. 

The apartment was quiet. The only sound that emerged was the squeak of the floorboards underneath his feet.

Oh, how he wished the sound of Kurapika’s laughter was what filled the space instead. 

He slid over to the TV to turn on the news for some background noise and went back to the kitchen to make himself some dinner. As he worked, he hardly paid attention to the noise behind him as he got lost in his thoughts again. 

It took everything in him to go join Kurapika outside the first night he was on Whale Island. It was obvious to him that Gon and Killua were trying to set them up (which Leorio didn’t hate as much as he wanted to), but Leorio wanted to do it himself. He also knew that it was damn near impossible for him to ever talk to Kurapika. 

And after they talked outside that night, he didn’t talk to Leorio the rest of the time he was there. 

Leorio had only been with Kurapika for what? Four days? Still, it was four days more than he ever expected. Even getting Kurapika to look his way felt like an achievement now .  

Maybe if I had made more of an effort to talk to him again, he would have stayed longer. Why was he so eager to get away from me anyway?

He shook his head. “What am I even saying?” Leorio cursed to himself, confused by his own words. All he knew at that moment was that he cared deeply about Kurapika. He knew what he wanted to call that feeling, but told himself it was a “pipe-dream and he needed to get over himself.”

It was only then that Leorio realized how much the rain had picked up. He was on the top floor of the three-floor complex, so it was very easy to hear the rain bang against the ceiling. 

He turned the TV to the city's weather channel and listened intently, ignoring the pot of noodles starting to simmer behind him. 

“Up to six inches of rain in the next four hours. Strong winds. Likely power outages. Staying inside is imperative right now.”

Only one person came to his mind as fear rushed through his nerves. 

“Fuck,” Leorio immediately turned the stove off and picked up his coat. He knew Kurapika was out there without anyone . And even if he found shelter, he definitely didn’t find one with any heat or running water. Leorio grabbed an extra coat, an umbrella, and his keys. He was out the door in a matter of seconds.

It felt like he searched every street of the city. This wasn’t a difficult feat as the city was small in relation to the neighboring ones. Leorio kept the radio on in his car as he listened for any reports from the weather station.

It had been only a couple of hours since they got off the boat, but Leorio had no clue how far Kurapika could have gotten since then.

Just when it seemed like Kurapika was nowhere to be found, Leorio drove past an alley at the very edge of the city. When he looked to his right, he saw him. Huddled against the wall, coat soaked to the bone and he made himself smaller for warmth. The alley was dark - it was a miracle that Leorio noticed him. 

He almost forgot to park the car with how fast he was moving to get out of it.

“Kurapika! What the hell are you doing!” Leorio picked up his pace until he was just a few feet away. 

Kurapika looked upwards immediately. “Wh-what are you doing here? I told you I’m fine. It’s just a little bit of rain.” The wind whistled past them, sending shivers down both of their spines. 

“Don’t be stupid!” Leorio had to yell to be heard over the gusts of wind. He had only been outside for a moment, but every layer of his clothing was soaked through. “You’ll die in weather like this!”

Kurapika looked down again. “Please just come stay with me for the night,” Leorio continued to plead. He was sure he looked and sounded stupid. Everything had happened so fast, and he still hadn’t fully registered that he went outside like this to try and save the most stubborn person alive. 

It was the small shake of Kurapika’s head that pissed Leorio off. “I don’t care if you leave at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow! Just come back with me until the rain stops!”

When Kurapika met Leorio’s eyes again, Leorio’s heart melted. With how drenched everything was, Kurapika almost looked like a child, the way his hair stuck to his face as if he was playing around in the rain. “Please,” was all he said. 

Kurapika stood up. 

Chapter Text

“Here, take this.”

Leorio quickly gave Kurapika the extra coat he had before the latter could protest and began to drive away. He wanted to scream at Kurapika for being so reckless and stupid. 

But something in Kurapika’s eyes when he had finally looked at Leorio made him rethink this. 

So instead, they drove in silence. The woman on the radio continued to discuss how the weather would intensify overnight and that there would likely be many closures  the next morning.  

At every red light, Leorio glanced over at Kurapika to make sure that the blond was still breathing. And to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming, and had just gone out in weather like this to find Kurapika. 

This was the slowest Leorio had ever driven in the city. He had never seen weather like this since he had been living here, so he didn’t know how to deal with it. 

He let out an exhausted sigh when the two finally made it to the apartment. Hearing this, Kurapika turned to him. 

“You didn’t have to come looking for me.”

“I know,” Leorio couldn’t tell what emotion he was feeling when he locked the car. “Let’s get inside.”

_______________

Leorio immediately went into his room to find extra clothes for Kurapika. He knew that anything he owned would be crazy big on Kurapika’s small frame, but Leorio couldn’t care less. He pulled out an old pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and socks and immediately brought them to Kurapika, who had been standing in the kitchen shivering since they got there. 

“Take these. They’re going to be big, but you need something other than wet clothes. The bathroom is just through there,” Leorio pointed to his bedroom as he began to shed his coat. 

Kurapika only nodded before he quickly slipped away. When he was out of sight, Leorio slumped against the cabinets onto the floor. He ran a hand through rain-soaked hair and cursed to himself. 

What was he doing? Kurapika didn’t want any part of him, so why was he trying to help?

As much as the man wanted to think he didn’t know the answers to his questions, he knew that the answer wasn’t very far out of reach. 

It was around ten p.m. now, but Leorio didn’t see himself sleeping anytime soon. The rain continued to patter noisily against the roof, and the lights flickered above. Leorio hoped that the apartment’s generators were still in working condition as he contemplated how much time they’d have until they lost power. 

When Kurapika emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, Leorio felt his heart sink when he saw just how small Kurapika looked right now. Not only was the blond practically swimming in the three-size-too-big crewneck, but Leorio could see how prominent the veins and bones were in Kurapika’s collarbone and neck. 

It was obvious that Kurapika hadn’t taken good care of himself for who knows how long, and that alone hurt Leorio. He stood up from where he was staying and took the wet pile of clothes from Kurapika’s hands.

“I’ll put these in the dryer for you so that they’ll be okay to wear again,” He told Kurapika, holding eye contact with him for as long as possible. He had never realized just how brown the Kurta’s eyes truly were. “Are you hungry? I was making food when I got the news about the storm.”

Kurapika mumbled a weak ‘no’ as Leorio started the laundry. He looked back at Kurapika, defeated. 

“When was the last time you ate, then?” Leorio watched as Kurapika looked down at his feet. “Kurapika?”

“Yesterday,” Kurapika squeaked out. Leorio closed his eyes for a moment, resisting the urge to run to the man in front of him and pull him close to his chest. 

Leorio was already on his way to the kitchen. “I’ll finish the soup I was making. You will be eating some.” He tried not to sound mad as he turned the stove back on, half-cooked noodles floating awkwardly in the pot. “Make yourself comfortable.” 

As he worked, he continued to take more glances over towards Kurapika. The Kurta had now sat himself on the couch, and was sitting with perfect posture as if he would be judged for it. 

If there was one thing he hated, it was people not feeling comfortable around him. Especially someone like Kurapika. He always liked to tell himself that the kids he worked around liked his presence, so he couldn’t understand why Kurapika wouldn’t accept it like they did. Obviously, there were some differences between elementary school-aged kids and an abused survivor of a massacre, but regardless, Leorio felt stuck. 

Deep down, he knew that Kurapika would leave the next morning. He tried to push the thought down, but it was the only thing reasonable about how his time with Kurapika would be spent. 

He might as well take advantage of the time while he still could. 

When the soup was finished, Leorio filled two bowls with the piping hot mixture of broth, vegetables, and noodles. Sure, it only came from a can, but it was still food for Kurapika. 

He sat down on the opposite side of the couch and handed Kurapika his bowl. They ate in silence in the dimly lit apartment. The rain was still as strong as ever, but at least it was background noise to cover the silence. 

“Thank you,” Kurapika said, refusing to meet Leorio’s eyes when he was finished. Leorio set their dishes on the coffee table and sank back into the couch. 

“It’s just from a can, nothing special,” Leorio shrugged. He should be the one thanking Kurapika for actually eating. “Mind telling me why you were out in an alley in weather like this with hardly any protection?”

It was abrupt for the mood, but both knew that it had to be brought up at some point. 

Despite knowing this, Kurapika wasn’t going to let his guard down that easily. “Why did you come looking for me?” he snapped, taking Leorio by surprise. If anything, you're the stupid one for going out in weather like that when you had no idea whether or not I was still in the city. I easily could have gotten miles away in the time since the boat.”

Leorio was silent. Anyone in their right mind wouldn’t have gone out in weather like the weather they were experiencing now. They would have called the police, or even tried to call the person themselves. But Leorio’s “right mind” was the one filled with deep admiration and care for the man in front of him, and this made it pretty damn hard to think rationally . 

“I had a hunch,” Leorio said after a moment. An eerie silence filled the small apartment once again. The only light still on was a small lamp in the living area, growing a dull yellow/orange color around them . Leorio stared at Kurapika, who hadn’t picked his head up since he snapped at Leorio. He wanted to know what the blonde was thinking. He wanted to know what Kurapika was feeling. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

He watched as Kurapika played with the chains on his hand. I didn’t realize he always had those on . I thought it was purely nen, Leorio thought to himself, but brushed it off as unimportant. The orange hue of the lamp went perfectly with Kurapika’s yellow blond hair, still glistening after being damp in the rain. 

Leorio yawned and looked at the time on his watch, wincing when he saw it. He knew it was going to take him quite some time to fall asleep, given the circumstances he was currently in. With that in mind, he also knew that he would have to be up early as long as the hospital was still fully functioning. He looked from his watch back to Kurapika, who he could see nodding off as he sat there on the couch. 

He would have been sleeping on the street if I hadn't found him. Leorio’s face melted into concern. I might as well give him the bed if he’s bound to leave the next morning.

“Take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“What?” Kurapika’s head shot up, aware that someone was speaking to him. He didn’t know how long he had slept sitting there. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Leorio again. “No. No, that’s your bed. You won’t fit on the couch.” This much was true. Leorio would be hanging off the couch if he tried to sleep there. But he didn't mind.

“Unless you’re genuinely uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in a bed, then I really want you to sleep there,” Leorio began to stand up, his knee cracking as he did so. “I hope you don’t find me disgusting, seeing as how I picked you up from an alley. I’ll be fine on the couch, don’t worry about me.”

Kurapika began to stand up and follow Leorio to where the bedroom was , letting his sleeves fall fully over his wrists. “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent,” Leorio smiled as he opened the door and flicked on the light. “Just let me brush my teeth and it’s all yours.”

“Okay,” Kurapika mumbled, just barely audible. Leorio nodded before he disappeared into the bathroom. 

Chapter Text

Who cares if I were to die in this alley?

That's the only thought that went through Kurapika’s head as he huddled himself into a corner of the busy city. The rain was too heavy for him to continue looking for a place to stay, so he figured this would suffice. 

But he was so cold. 

His clothes were long since salvageable, and his hair was sticking to every part of his face. 

His teeth chattered together as he leaned up against the brick wall next to him. The rain was incredibly loud - almost louder than his thoughts. 

Oh, how he wished Leorio would come looking for him. He knew Leorio was worried about him, but he couldn’t be concerned enough about him to come looking in weather like this. 

He gritted his teeth as he pushed his thoughts further to the back of his mind.

No.

‘I’m not allowed to think things like these.’

‘As long as Leorio stays away from me, he’ll be fine. He’ll be safe. He’ll be happy.’

As long as everyone else in his life was happy, Kurapika couldn’t have cared less what happened to him. 

But when the lights of a car pulled up near the alley and a familiar figure walked out, all Kurapika could do was question why the universe wanted him to hurt the man in front of him even more. 

Kurapika lay on the bed, unmoving. It was past midnight, but his eyes were as wide as ever. 

The rain had slowed down. There was still a light patter of droplets on the window to his right, but it wasn’t nearly as heavy as it had been hours before. 

He was lying on top of the bed’s comforter - too scared to go underneath it. It felt intrusive. 

He felt intrusive.

Even if Leorio had offered for him to stay the night, Kurapika knew he should have insisted otherwise. I should be dead , he kept thinking to himself. Kurapika knew that he easily could have gotten up and escaped from this apartment without a sound. He could leave Leorio and let him go back to living his life, just like that.

But something was stopping him. 

Every time he told himself to stand up and leave, his limbs felt heavier, and the imaginary glue holding him to the bed crushed down on him harder. 

Maybe it was the sound of Leorio’s light snoring in the next room keeping him there.

Maybe it was the feeling of clean clothing and bedsheets surrounding him on the bed. 

Or maybe it was the fact that despite everything he had done to the man, he kept coming back to help. 

Why? Kurapika asked himself, over and over again. Why does he keep helping me?

He even considered telling Leorio about the contract he made. Maybe it would have made Leorio hate him enough to kick him out. 

When Kurapika awoke the next morning, he couldn’t move. It wasn’t the glued feeling from the night before, no, this was horrible. 

His body ached through every nerve, and he was just now realizing how stuffed up his nose and ears were. The small amount of light that came through the window gave him a horrible headache, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut again until the pain passed. 

Fuck , was the only word he managed to whisper through his lips. He couldn’t be sick. He needed to leave as soon as possible. 

Kurapika tried to turn himself to the side, but the moment he got himself to a sitting position, he was clutching his arms as he began to shiver. Even under the thick wool blanket on top of him, which he didn't remember having the night before, he wasn’t feeling any warmer. 

The clock to his right said that the time was almost noon, way too late for him to still be here. Hell, Leorio probably wasn’t even home anymore. 

Slowly, almost painfully slow, Kurapika managed to hang his legs over the side of the bed. When he touched the thin carpet of the ground, a shooting pain sent itself through his body. 

How am I supposed to get out of here like this?

He made his way over to Leorio’s small bathroom, not once letting go of his arms. His teeth were chattering together fast, almost as if he were in the dark alley in the rain again. 

When Kurapika saw his reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror, he groaned. The bags under his eyes that were normally prominent were now undeniable. He was ghostly pale, and his lips were a light shade of purple. 

He splashed some water on his face, in hopes that maybe it would make him feel more alive.

It didn’t.

Shoulders slumped, he held his head low as he made his way out of Leorio’s room. 

The living area was much brighter than the bedroom was, and it took him a moment to adjust his eyes. He hadn’t fully adjusted and was instead shaken by the familiar voice that came from next to him.

“Kurapika! You’re awake! Did you sleep well?” Kurapika didn’t have the time to admire the tall man in his clean scrubs in front of him before his eardrums were pierced with pain again. He coughed, sounding much raspier than he had hoped.

“I-,” Kurapika was just realizing how badly his throat hurt as he clutched his arms together again. “I slept fine. Thank you.”

The way Leorio’s eyes softened at Kurapika’s words made him realize he hadn’t sounded as “fine” as he wanted to. 

Leorio was over in front of him in two quick strides. “You definitely don’t look fine,” Leorio eyed Kurapika’s face intently for a moment.

There was no hiding it now. Leorio would realize how sick Kurapika was, force him to stay another night, and insist on taking care of him. Which wouldn’t be the worst thi-

No. Absolutely not. Kurapika needed to leave, and he needed to leave now.

This became ever more true as Kurapika registered the hand that Leorio had placed upon his forehead. He knew that Leorio was checking his temperature - his parents did it the same way when he was a child - but Kurapika swore his heart was moments away from beating out of his chest. 

“Kurap’ka,” Leorio pulled his hand away and immediately began walking towards the bathroom. “Stay there, I’m getting a thermometer and medicine. You’re boiling hot.”

Kurapika stood there for a moment in the kitchen while Leorio rustled through bottles in the cabinet. 

This isn’t how this was supposed to go. If I hadn’t gone with Gon and Killua, then maybe I wouldn’t hav-

Leorio held the thermometer up to his forehead again until a slight beep was heard. Kurapika watched as he inhaled through his teeth. “102 degrees. It’s probably the damn rain. Here,” Leorio held out two small capsules. “I’ll get you a few crackers, but you need to take these. We need to get your fever down.”

Kurapika didn’t know how to react. A moment ago, Leorio was asking how he had slept. Now he was running around as if Kurapika was about to die. 

Why does he care so much?

“What other symptoms do you have? Sore throat? You coughed, so that's one. Upset stomach? Congestion?” Leorio continued to list off terms, including some that Kurapika didn’t understand. All he did was answer with small hums. He was shivering again, and he felt tired again. Without his head being able to think first, he walked over to the couch and sat down, hunched over to keep the warmth in. It wasn’t until Leorio had given him some food and medicine that he slowed his talking.

“That should kick in within about 30 minutes, so hopefully your fever will go down then. I can pick up some other medicine on my way back from work. Luckily, I only have to be there for a couple of hours, so hopefully you can sleep while I’m gone,” Leorio was pacing back and forth, but Kurapika let him. He was too lost in his thoughts to truly listen to what Leorio was saying. 

If he’s at work for a few hours, that leaves me plenty of time to get out of here. I’ll leave once my fever goes down, and then I can escape to a neighboring city.

“-apika. Kurapika!?” 

His eyes shot up at the sound of his name. He didn’t know how long Leorio had been calling him. 

“Did you hear what I said?” 

Kurapika shook his head. Leorio sighed, but it was more sympathetic than annoyed.

“I work from one to five. Not long since it’s the weekend. I will pick up more medicine for you on my way home. Will you be okay here while I’m gone?”

Funny that you think I’ll be here when you get back.

“Yeah,” Kurapika croaked out. “I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” Leorio picked up his bag as he headed for the door. “Please try and get some rest. There's leftover soup in the fridge you can warm up if you get hungry. Take more of the medicine in a few hours. I’ll text you the instructions.”

As Kurapika watched Leorio open the door, something about the way he gripped his familiar checkered briefcase made him call out.

“Leorio-”

Leorio’s head whipped around in an instant. 

Kurapika cursed himself in his head as he swallowed hard.

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

Leorio checked on Kurapika every hour for three reasons:

1. To make sure Kurapika was still there
2. To make sure he wasn’t dreaming, even though most of him had established this was real
3. And to simply look at Kurapika.

Leorio would stand in the doorway for a few moments, not in a stalker-like way, but in the 'I want to know you’re okay' kind of way. He would linger for a few moments, watching as Kurapika’s chest rose and fell with each breath. His heart would flutter at the sight of the moonlight reflecting off his bright blonde hair.

He was so beautiful. 

The closest he got to the sleeping man was to drape a blanket over him, quick but soft as not to wake the sleeping body. 

After every quick check, he would head back to the couch and slump down, letting his feet hang over the armrest. He would stare at the ceiling, hands crossed against his chest, and think.

‘If he’s found all the eyes, maybe that means I'll have a chance with him. Now that he’s not running and searching, maybe he’ll stay.’

Maybe.

The word consumed quite a bit of Leorio’s life. Everything from work to his personal life revolved around a ‘maybe’. 

Maybe he’ll pass the hunter exam.

Maybe he’ll become a doctor. 

Maybe Kurapika will realize how much he cares about him.

Maybe Kurapika will stay.

Leorio couldn’t tell whether or not he loved or hated the word. He loved the fact that it gave him a sliver of hope, one he could grasp onto at any given moment. One that he could think about to keep him going.

But he also hated the uncertainty behind it. A ‘maybe’ wasn’t a ‘yes’. But it also wasn’t a ‘no’. And for someone impatient like Leorio, it wasn't easy to see which way the word would sway.

Kurapika fell back asleep soon after Leorio left the apartment. 

When he woke up again, he could tell that his fever had gone down, but nothing else felt any better. He swallowed painfully and made his way off the couch, fluffing the decorative pillows behind him.

If he was going to leave, he’d at least make it look like he wasn’t there in the first place. 

Although he became tired from small tasks, Kurapika quickly made his way around the apartment, straightening up anything he had touched. It was still early afternoon, so he had plenty of time before Leorio would be home. He had plenty of time to leave.

He changed back into the suit he was wearing the night before, which was now dry and smelled of cheap laundry detergent. He folded the clothes Leorio had lent him between coughing fits, laying them neatly on the edge of the bed. 

He turned off every light, letting the only light in the apartment come from the large windows. 

Before leaving, Kurapika stopped by the medicine laid out for him by Leorio earlier that day. There was a small note next to the pill bottles written in Leorio’s familiar, but messy, scrawl:

' T ake one tablet every hour. Eat something so you don’t feel nauseous.‘

Without thinking, Kurapika grabbed the tablets and the note. He figured he may as well listen to the directions Leorio gave - it wasn’t going to be easy to find a place for him to stay if he constantly felt ill. 

Kurapika quickly took one more lap around the apartment, trying his best to memorize every inch of the place. He lingered around the small desk in the corner of the living area where Leorio’s textbooks lay frozen in time. Kurapika’s heart sank when he saw a small post-it note on the corner of the desk that read: ‘ EXAM! August 24th!’

He didn’t know what he was feeling, but it was bittersweet for him as he turned on his heel to leave.

It’s good that I’m doing this, He told himself on the way out the door. Leorio has more important things to worry about than me.

If Leorio had things more important to worry about than Kurapika, they weren’t at the front of his mind.

His shift only lasted a few hours, but Kurapika was the only thing on his mind as he made his rounds. He zoned out when children asked him questions, and when his coworkers got suspicious, he simply told them he didn’t sleep well.  

He inevitably left out the part of his night where he left his house in the pouring rain to go save someone who probably wouldn’t be at the apartment by the time he returned. 

For once, he sighed to himself as he clocked out. For once, just make the right choice, Kurapika.  

There was a light drizzle as Leorio walked out of the hospital. He drove in silence to the nearest pharmacy. He wandered the shelves, picking up various pills and other medicines he hoped would help Kurapika. 

But as he paid for the things in his hands, he couldn’t help but notice the growing pit in his stomach. 

He told himself he was stupid as he got back into the car, tossing the bag of miscellaneous medicines in the passenger seat. The sky above him was almost as fogged up as the rest of his brain. 

He was stupid for thinking that he could get Kurapika to stay with him. 

He was stupid for the texts he sent - desperate and caring, only to be ignored.

He just felt stupid for trying. 

Even when he walked back into his apartment to find it empty, he didn’t feel surprised. He didn’t even feel sad. 

He was numb.

Leorio slumped onto the couch, in the spot where Kurapika had sat less than a day ago. He hated to admit to himself just how much he cared about Kurapika. Leorio didn’t need to be home to know that Kurapika wasn’t going to stay - Kurapika never stayed. He had given himself false hope again. 

Leorio told himself over and over again that Kurapika standing up and coming back with him was the latter making the choice, the right choice, for the first time. 

Nevertheless, the time came to show that this was not the case. The effort Leorio put in meant nothing. 

Leorio rested his head in his hands, exhaling audibly. As a million thoughts raided their way through Leorio’s head, the only thoughts he could grasp onto were the ones that revolved around Kurapika.

What more? You finished what you had been fighting for since the start. What more do you need to do? Why do you keep running?

His thoughts were a mess of puzzle pieces, each piece wanting to fit together, but they weren’t carved out the right way. As he tried to make sense of his life at the moment, he decided to attempt to focus on the one thing he thought he did best - becoming a doctor.

Chapter Text

As soon as Kurapika left the apartment complex, he was on a mission. He walked for hours, stopping numerous times when the headaches became too intense or he experienced another coughing fit. He felt, and looked, like shit, but anything he was feeling was better than being back at that apartment. 

He found a place to stay for the night after almost seven hours of looking. It was plenty dark now, and he felt even worse than before. 

The city that neighbored Shanha City was impoverished, and poverty was prominent on every corner. It was painful to look at, but Kurapika had to tell himself he was just like those who slept on the streets.

Even though he knew it was for the best, he couldn’t help but curse himself as he swallowed another pill in the corner of a small abandoned hut. His mind was fighting with itself, and Kurapika didn’t know how to make it stop. 

He clutched his knees to his chest, letting his head rest between them. His breaths come in short gasps, considering how constricted his lungs are, but he doesn’t seem to pay any mind to it. 

The only thing he can think of is the face of the man he was with earlier. He could only think of the way his eyes softened when he saw Kurapika in the street, and Kurapika’s stomach clenched when he was reminded of what Leorio did to protect him.

‘Why protect someone like me? I did nothing but hurt you. You shouldn’t be caring for me.’ 

Multiple times that night, Kurapika genuinely considered going and finding Leorio’s apartment and asking for forgiveness. When these thoughts came through his head, he would scratch the scars on his wrist with uncut nails until thick, red blood trickled out of them again. 

Even as he dreamed that night of what his life could have been, Kurapika couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, this was still a possibility. 

For the next three days, Leorio buried himself neck-deep in his books. His apartment became an array of post-its and notecards, decorating each counter, cupboard, and handle. 

He had his study schedule written down to the final minutes before his test. He wasn’t scheduled at the hospital for any more shifts leading up to the test, to allow him adequate time for preparing .  

The night before, Leorio ordered food from the small restaurant down the street and got to work. He only allowed himself to continue studying for a few hours because he knew if he got too distracted, he would have been up all night. And that wouldn’t have been very helpful. 

As he sat on the couch, rewarding himself with food for each correct answer, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

He was exhausted, that much was obvious. After spending almost 72 hours straight studying for a test that could make or break his career, he felt the words begin to mush together on the page in a hallucination. 

But even as the words became muddled, he couldn’t help but stop to think about a familiar blonde who he wished was next to him. It had been more than three days now, so who knows where Kurapika could have escaped to in that time. Leorio had promised himself that he would focus on himself after being let down once again, but he found it harder and harder with each passing moment.

Of course, becoming a doctor had been a lifelong dream of Leorio’s, as a troubled childhood left one of his friends in a place Leorio knew too well. But something about the title became more and more about his present life.  

He was always the first person Gon and Killua would contact if they were ever injured for some reason. 

Bloodied hands and bruised limbs? Leorio would help. 

Gon had a minor cold, and Killua freaked out about it? Leorio would be the first to tell him what medicine to give him.

But there was one person he considered a friend who had not once come to him for medical advice. The morning before Kurapika escaped was one of the most vulnerable times he had seen him. There were moments where Kurapika worked himself into a fever from stress and work, but it was always someone else who would contact Leorio. The second he got the messages from Melody saying that Kurapika needed help, he would drop everything in an instant to be there.

But what good did that do in the end? Kurapika just ran anyway. 

Leorio sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was only around eight in the evening, but he knew he’d have to sleep soon if he wanted to be fully ready to take the exam.

As he stared at the ceiling that night, he couldn’t help but think of the scenario that would have helped him fall asleep in earlier circumstances. 

Whenever Leorio pictured his final exam, Kurapika was always there in some way. Even though it was highly unlikely in any universe, Leorio had always imagined himself walking out of the school to meet the man he called his own. With a smile on both of their faces, Leorio would be engulfed in a tight hug, and in this universe, it didn’t matter if he passed or failed because Kurapika was there with him.

He felt extremely pathetic thinking about that scenario on this night, especially because he knew damn well that wouldn’t be the case. Leorio gave Kurapika everything, and Kurapika gave him nothing. 

His mind decided to take its time shutting down that night, leading Leorio into a restless fit of tossing and turning for hours. Nerves , he brushed it off every time. But as the sight of a familiar blonde filled even his dreams that night, it was hard for him to believe that nerves were what was keeping him awake. 

He had either passed with flying colors or he had failed with the lowest score possible.

Leorio genuinely had no idea.

It was by far the hardest test he had ever taken, and it took him up until the very last minute to finish. The questions muddled themselves together on the pages, and he was forced to stop and reset himself multiple times during the exam. 

Even as he left the testing hall, Leorio didn’t feel like any weight had lifted off his shoulders. In fact, He felt more nervous than he had before the test. He knew that the next day could be one of the best or one of the worst.

It was said that scores could be released within 24 hours, but Leorio secretly hoped it would be more, so he had time to prepare himself. Despite this fact, he was already checking his email by the time he found his car after the test. 

When he sat down behind the wheel, he exhaled and let his shoulders droop as he rested his head against the top of the steering wheel. 

He couldn’t tell if he was supposed to celebrate yet or not . Sure, getting to the point where you could take this test was incredible, but that doesn’t mean you automatically pass it. However, the texts on his phone from friends and family made him feel like maybe, just maybe, he could celebrate a little. 

He made his way to the bar located a few miles from his apartment - the bar he would always hang out at after a long day. Most of the bartenders knew him by name by now, but in a friendly way more than anything.

He sat down in the dim lighting and was immediately greeted by the bartender, who was in his early thirties.

“Leorio! What can I get for ya today, friend?” Leorio let himself crack a small smile for the first time today.

“Surprise me,” Leorio said, already handing him his card to start a tab. He had a feeling he’d be here for a while tonight.

While he waited for his drink, Leorio looked around, taking in the familiar ambiance of the establishment. 

It was a small bar, a place that only people who spent a lot of time in the city knew about . Lined with red leather booths and thin string lights, it was one of the busiest, yet quietest, places in the city. There were always people who would come in, buzzing with conversation as they met up with friends. But as loud as it could get, it wasn’t like the bars Leorio would see on TV shows where people would scream and shout and start stripping randomly. No, this was different. People came here to have a nice night. Living alone made him more attentive and observant about his surroundings, and he found himself listening to conversations more often without thinking. 

It was a new feeling for him to realize just how unique a person could be. He knew that when he had first made some of his real friends was when he was in a part of his life where he could be incredibly abrasive, and even more selfish. He had treated people horribly then, but after meeting people like Gon, Killua, and Kurapika, he made it his life goal to try to be a better person . Also , because he knew that no one liked a selfish doctor, including himself.

“Here’s your surprise, friend,” Leorio snapped out of his thoughts as a small glass of ice with a brownish liquid was placed in front of him. 

“Thanks, Diago,” Leorio had gotten accustomed to calling most of the bartenders here by name.

“So what brings you in tonight?” Daigo stayed by the counter near Leorio as he continued to dry glasses. The place wasn’t very crowded yet, so there was no need for him to rush back and forth. “Anything special?”

Leorio shrugged. “I won’t know if it was special for a few days.”

“I’m not following,” The man chuckled, a deep, hearty laugh that could bring a smile to anyone’s face. 

“I took my exam today. Now I just have to wait for the scores,” Leorio stared at the drink in front of him, moving it in circles so the liquid sloshed within the glass.  

“Woah! I’d say that’s a pretty big deal! How do you think you did?”

Leorio looked up again and thought to himself for a way to answer. Well, I can’t necessarily tell him I think I failed because I couldn’t get Kurapika’s damn face out of my head the whole time. 

“I think I did alright,” he faked a smile. 

Daigo smiled back. “I’m sure you did better than anyone else in that room.” Leorio chuckled, not in a happy way, but in a “sure I did” type of way. “Well, I’m sure you’re exhausted , so I won’t bore you with myself any longer. Just holler if you need anything, alright?” 

Leorio nodded, picking up his drink and pressing the cold glass to his lips. He winced as the mixture of alcohol swam down his throat, hot and arrogant. 

He stayed there for a few more hours, downing only a couple more drinks. He had to at least stay sober enough to get himself home for the night.

When he arrived back at his apartment, it was late. He didn’t make it past tugging off his tie before collapsing on the couch, clothes and all. He slipped into a deep slumber, finally allowing himself to relax for the first time in days. 

Chapter Text

Leorio did everything in his power to distract himself over the next few days. Every time one of his coworkers asked if he got the results yet, he’d shush them. Not in a mean way, but he truly didn’t want to know what the outcome was going to be. 

As time went by, he continued to distract himself with the kids in the pediatric ward. It was obvious to most of the working doctors that they would soon see Leorio there full time. He was a natural. Not only with the kids, but also the way he could connect with them. Playful at heart, Leorio was always the first one the kids wanted to see when they awoke every morning. 

At least these kids wanted to be around him, even if a certain blonde didn't . For now, that was enough to keep Leorio going.

Leorio walked into another patient's room, a young boy with leukemia that he had grown rather fond of. Leorio had been assisting and doing things like vital checks since the boy was first admitted to the hospital - around the same time Leorio had started his residency.

“ Hiy a’, Riko! ” Leorio smiled as he popped open the door, arms filled with medications and an assortment of ice pops. “ How are we feeling today ?”

The boy, no more than eight years old, perked up at the sight of the brunette. “ Tired, but I’m okay otherwise! ” Riko gave Leorio a small smile before he turned back to the television show he had been watching. 

Leorio whistled to himself as he worked, checking the amounts on the IV drip and taking notes on basic things like Riko’s pulse and breathing patterns. It wasn’t until he felt a slight buzz come from his pocket that he was snapped out of his work. 

Nervous as to what it could be, Leorio pulled the phone out of his pocket and froze when he saw the screen.

The scores were out. Without hesitation, he clicked on the link, holding himself back from cursing at how slow the internet in the hospital was. He searched through the lists of names as his heart rate began to speed up. Thankfully, he wasn’t connected to one of these machines because there would have been medical professionals running in to help him with how much it was beating. 

He got to the last names that started with P and stopped almost immediately. His heart skipped a beat as he saw a small word written next to his name. 

Leorio Paladiknight: Fail.

His jaw dropped open, and thoughts were non-existent. He was frozen in time, caught in something out of a dream - well, a nightmare - and he couldn’t get out. 

Noticing that Leorio had stopped his usual chipper humming, Riko turned to face him, a confused look on his face. “ Mr. Leorio? Is everything okay ?”

Leorio knew he had hesitated for too long before replying to the child. “ I-I’m fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. ” Leorio was on autopilot now. No thoughts were entering or leaving his head. He couldn’t feel anything other than the hot tears that were choking the life out of him. He blinked them back, handing Riko the ice pops he had brought. “ I-I brought you your ice pops. Do you need anything else before I go ?”

Riko shook his head. He wasn’t buying what Leorio was saying, but didn’t feel like it was his place to pry. 

Without saying anything more, Leorio pivoted on his heel out the door. He kept his head down the entire time, which proved a problem because the moment the door shut, he nearly crashed into the doctor coming to see the patient next. 

“ Mr. Paladiknight! I apologize, ” The voice of a woman was heard through the hallway, and Leorio immediately looked up. He opened his mouth to apologize, but was cut off before he had the chance. “ Woah, is everything alright? You’re as pale as a ghost .”

The tears were becoming harder and harder to hold back. He swallowed hard. “ I-I failed. ” His voice trailed off, quiet enough so no one else could hear. If there was one person he didn't want to tell, it was the doctor directly in front of him. Doctor Tsumugi had been the one to get him into the hospital and had shown him everything. But deep down, he had a feeling she already knew. 

She didn’t pry Leorio to say anything else. “ Take the rest of the day off to rest. We’ll be okay here. You will be able to retake the test in a few days. Don’t sweat this too much. ” She gave him a soft smile, genuine and sweet. She knew it wasn’t like Leorio to fail something like this, so she also knew this wasn’t enough to get him to quit.

Leorio knew this as well, but it was too soon for him to realize.

With a heavy heart, he kept his head low and headed for his car. He barely made it into the driver’s seat before completely breaking down into a mess of sobs, failure, and regret.

In the few days since he had left Leorio’s apartment, Kurapika had made it back to Yorknew City in order to pay a visit to his friend Melody. She had taken over Kurapika’s position as the “ boss ” of the Nostrade Family when he resigned, and had been working there since. Kurapika would have gone to her first rather than Gon, except for the fact that they were largely involved with a scandal at the time. Luckily enough for Kurapika, they had just sorted it out enough for everyone to be able to take a rest for a few weeks after constantly being on their feet.

Melody handed Kurapika a glass of piping hot tea, smelling of sweet cinnamon and chai. Kurapika took a small sip, wincing when it immediately burnt his tongue. Melody sat down on a small leather couch across from Kurapika, smiling sweetly as she added a few cubes of sugar to her cup of tea. 

“ So, Nostrade got himself into trouble again, huh? ” Kurapika said, looking across the way, out the window behind both of them. He forgot how gorgeous the city could be at night. 

“ It appears so. But luckily, we’ve been able to get it to the point where he no longer is being held at gunpoint anymore. " She smiled again, almost too calmly for the topic at hand.  

“ Things like that make my regret for leaving all of you disappear, ” Kurapika deadpanned, the inflection in his voice making it sound like a joke that didn’t quite go across as planned. 

Melody took another sip from her tea. Kurapika couldn’t tell if she knew how tense he was right now, and continued to take deep breaths in hope that his heart rate wouldn’t give it away.

After he left Leorio’s place, Kurapika almost immediately found his way to the nearest computer and wired an email to be sent to his phone the moment the scores for Leorio’s exam were out. As much as he hated himself for it, he couldn’t help how curious he was about Leorio’s score.

“ I apologize again for not being able to house you earlier. ” Melody gave a short sigh. “ I’m glad you got to see your friends, though. That must have been good for you .”

Kurapika looked down at the mug in his hands. He had told Melody about how he was going to stay on Whale Island, but had forgotten to mention the part about how he crashed at Leorio’s apartment just to leave immediately the next day. He was about to admit to this by himself when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He slowly pulled it out, mind flowing with ideas of what could have been on the phone then.

When the notification rolled across the screen, blaring MEDICAL EXAM SCORES, Kurapika froze. Melody noticed this almost immediately and perked up from her seat.

“ Kurapika? Is something wrong? ” Kurapika didn’t say a word in response and became buried in his phone for a long moment. It wasn’t until Kurapika’s jaw had fallen open that Melody spoke again. “ I would assume this is something with one of your friends. More specifically, a certain one based on your heartbea -”

“ He failed. ” Kurapika looked back towards Melody, voice quieter than normal. Something in his chest was tight, and he didn’t quite understand why. 

Another quick listen of his heartbeat was enough for Melody to know exactly who Kurapika was talking about. “ Kurapika, I don’t mean to intrude, but I think there is someplace else you should be that is more important than here .”

He looked back and forth from the screen on his phone back to Melody’s worried, but calm, face. She was right. Kurapika should go back to see Leorio. 

And despite every other thought in his brain telling him that this was a bad idea and he should reconsider, Kurapika thanked Melody for her hospitality and left. 

The car ride home was a mess of sobs and trying to stay on the road for Leorio. He didn’t think about anything during the car ride other than the feeling of getting home and collapsing on his bed - maybe the only constant in his life. 

Even the sorrowful looks from the desk manager in the lobby phased Leorio as he made his way up to his apartment, sulking the whole way. He didn’t bother taking off his coat or shoes before collapsing on the couch and burying his swollen face in the pillows. 

This was the one thing he had worked for all of his life. Hell, he took the Hunter Exam just so he’d have enough money to pay for his tuition. He had put himself through pain that most wouldn’t dream of, just to fail in the end. Sure, he could retake the test in a few days. But that didn’t fix the fact that he had gotten so close, yet so far, to achieving his goals. 

He had failed by only a handful of points, and that was the worst part of the entire thing to Leorio. 

He wasn’t supposed to fail. This wasn’t his plan. No, he was supposed to be a doctor right now. He was supposed to be getting texts and calls of ‘ congratulations ’ for his achievements. All he got now were a few pitiful looks. 

Leorio wasn’t quite sure when he got out the wine that had been stored in his cupboard. He also wasn’t sure how long it had been before half of the bottle was gone, consumed in his stomach on little to no food. As unhealthy as this was, he didn’t care. He didn’t want any thoughts going through his head. He would have much rather had the muddled mess from the alcohol run through his brain rather than his failure as he passed out, clothes and all, on his bed that night. 

When he woke up the next morning, he felt like shit. His head was throbbing, and looking anywhere near the sun coming through his window made him wince and turn away. He groaned when a wave of nausea washed over him, fighting with his insides to keep down the contents of whatever he had drunk the night before. 

He was only now realizing that he had kept his clothes on from the day before. His light blue scrubs were wrinkled beyond belief, splashes of last night's wine scattered on certain parts of his attire. Leorio ran a hand through his knotted hair as he began to stand up, dizzy as he did so. 

It was only once he threw his long legs over the side of the bed that he allowed himself a single deep breath before he stopped in his tracks. Maybe it was the hangover taking its course, but he swore he smelled a freshly cooked breakfast coming from the other side of his bedroom door. 

His fight-or-flight was immediately activated. Well, activated as much as his nauseous and dizzy body allowed him to. Slowly, he began to walk towards the door, cautious with every movement. He knew he wasn’t thinking straight, but it was hard to convince himself that he didn’t hear footsteps shuffling on the floorboards outside of his door. He had grabbed a textbook to arm himself with - he’d question his choices later - and gripped the door handle, slowly opening it to peek into the kitchen.

Sure enough, there was food on the counter being plated as he watched for a quick moment. His eyes surveyed the room, delayed in their movements as he gazed upon a familiar figure, short in stature with glowing blonde hair.

“ Kurapika?! What the hell? ” Leorio winced at the shriek in his voice. It was too loud for him in his current state. As relieved as Leorio was that this intruder probably wasn’t here to kill him, he was still equally pissed at the situation.

Kurapika jumped at the sound of Leorio’s voice, quickly turning from where he had been previously standing. “ Did I wake you? I’m sorry .”

Leorio stepped into the kitchen, looking at Kurapika, utterly dumbfounded. He breaks into my apartment, and the only thing he can think to say is ‘ Did I wake you ?’

“ How the hell did you get in here? Well, the better question is: what are you doing here ? ” He was beginning to notice the harshness of his voice, but he didn’t seem to have much control anymore. He knew he had been upset about Kurapika leaving without warning, but he didn’t realize he had been that upset. 

Kurapika fidgeted with his fingers nervously. “ I, uh, I thought you’d want some food, maybe, because I saw your, uh ,”

“ My what? ” His mouth was working faster than his brain could keep up. Deep down, part of him knew that if he was sober, he wouldn’t be yelling at Kurapika, no matter what. But he also knew that his thoughts would be screaming, even if his mouth wasn’t . 

“ Your exam score. I saw the post-it with the date, and I, ” Kurapika gulped. “ I scheduled for the scores to be sent to me, too .”

Leorio stared at Kurapika for a long moment, trying to comprehend what had just come out of his mouth. “ You what ?”

“ I know it’s an invasion of privacy, but I wanted to know since I wasn’t going to be there. I apologize if I overstepped Leor -”

“ Do you not get it, Kurapika? You leaving me once again put me into a slump, and I couldn’t focus during that goddamn exam! I could be blaming this on you! I’m surprised you’re even still alive! ” His words felt slurred, but he couldn’t tell how they sounded to Kurapika. 

As he stood there, unknowing of what to do, he simply listened as Leorio spoke. He knew that everything the man was saying was correct. He had been incredibly selfish, and he had ruined something important to Leorio - one of his biggest fears in his life. 

“ You leave without warning, an-and then you ignore me the entire time. I’m here trying to prepare for an exam that determines my future, but you? You just keep on waltzing around from place to place, avoiding anyone who has ever tried to let you into their lives. ” Was this what he had been feeling all this time? Maybe it wasn’t the hope that he’d come back one day for good that kept going. No. Maybe it was the anguish and regret he had for not displaying his feelings properly every time. “ Aren’t you ever exhausted from running? None of us - Gon, Killua, Me - have ever made you feel like you weren’t included here. I get it, you’ve got your shit going on. But that doesn’t mean you get to treat the rest of us like we don’t exist. Those boys look up to you like you are their mother, and all you do in return is leave them. Over, and over again. And you got all the eyes, didn’t you? So what more is there to run to ?”

Kurapika didn’t fight back. There was no reason to. His insides clenched as he was reminded of every time he had let down the people in his life, but he stayed silent. The Scarlet Eyes of his clan were the one thing that had controlled his entire life. But now that this feat was completed, what was he other than someone who ran?

Leorio huffed as he watched Kurapika sway back and forth. He wouldn’t realize the extent of what he had said till much later, but that didn’t matter now. Even though a large part of his heart hoped that this moment would get Kurapika to change his ways, he knew it was unlikely. He ran a hand through his hair again, leaning against the countertop for stability. He had only been awake for about fifteen minutes, but they were a very eventful set of minutes, that’s for sure. 

“ I knew this would happen. Sooner or later. That’s why I had to leave .”

Leorio looked up, hearing the slight whisper that came from Kurapika’s direction.

“ What ?”

“ I knew this would happen. That’s why I had to leave again .”

“ What is that supposed to mean? ” Leorio pointed an angry finger in the blonde’s direction. Kurapika paid no mind to this action. He thought to himself for a moment, thinking of anything that could fix the situation at hand. 

The contract. 

When he remembered the true reason why he had been avoiding Leorio, Kurapika went and spilled the biggest secret he had kept in his life. The words muddled out of his mouth, and before he knew it, the word was out. The contract that had kept Kurapika from staying around Leorio was no longer just his knowledge. 

When he was done speaking, he looked back up towards Leorio, who was staring with his jaw unhinged.

Leorio chuckled to himself, a maniacal, untrusting laugh that made Kurapika’s skin crawl. “ So let me get this straight. ” He rubbed his eyes. “ You put my life on the line so you could get a pair of eyes back from some evil entity. Is that right? You were willing to kill me to achieve your goals. Is that what you think a friend is ?”

Leorio was no longer yelling, but the anger in his voice was no less than before. 

“ Leorio, let me explain -”

“ Kurapika, there’s nothing else to explain. I’m sick of you walking into my life just to leave me in more pieces again. ” Leorio let out a short huff before saying a jumble of words that made Kurapika regret anything and everything. 

“ I think you should leave .”

Chapter Text

Leorio immediately went back to his room and fell asleep for a few more hours after Kurapika left. 

And once he woke up again, his mind was multitudes more clear than it was earlier. Perhaps it was the hangover subsiding gradually. Or maybe, it was the immense regret he was beginning to feel about his current situation. 

He could only remember bits and pieces of the things he said to Kurapika - if that even happened, he couldn’t quite tell - and he was embarrassed, to say the least. He had never spoken to one of his friends like that. Especially not Kurapika. 

He rubbed his eyes as he stood up, holding onto the edge of the headboard for a moment to regain his balance. It was the weekend, so luckily he didn’t have to worry about going into work. 

Leorio stretched and began shuffling around his room to grab new clothes to bring with him to the shower. After sleeping and sweating in the clothes he wears to work often, he was gross. 

The bathroom was steaming hot as he dressed himself, trying to focus on the task at hand rather than his racing thoughts. It was nearly impossible.

He knew that he had fucked up. But with what he could remember from the conversation, he also knew that what he said, as painful as it was, was true. Kurapika treated him like shit. That had always been a given. But for him to come back after spying on him almost seemed taunting.

Not to mention the fact that Kurapika had also been hiding that he put Leorio’s life at risk to try and achieve his goals . Sure , Leorio only knew the very basic practices of Nen. But despite this, he knew for sure what Kurapika had done was selfish, reckless, and could have cost him the rest of his life. 

As Leorio put on a pot of coffee to brew, he opened his laptop on the kitchen island. He nearly missed the bagels that had been lying out next to him - the ones that Kurapika had brought him that morning. The sight of the pastry made his stomach growl, so he ripped off a small part and took a few bites.

Who could ever let a good bagel go to waste? 

Leaning his forearms against the counter, he typed up a website for his medical school, immediately finding the page with exam dates. Within seconds, he was signed up for the nearest date. Leorio knew that failing it the first time wasn’t going to be the reason he stopped going. It was going to motivate him to do even more. 

But even as he clicked the EXAM SIGN-UP button, he couldn’t help but think of Kurapika’s tired face. Kurapika had stood right where Leorio was that morning, and Leorio had done nothing but treat him like shit. Yes, part of him knew Kurapika deserved it in a way. But that same part of him also felt bad for pushing him away. He fidgeted with the waistband of his sweatpants and sighed to himself. 

Maybe Kurapika had been trying to stay this time. What if I just ruined it all?

He closed his laptop and let his forehead rest against the cool aluminum. With a groan, he grabbed his phone from beside him and found Kurapika’s contact. One small text was all he sent , but he could only hope it was enough.

‘I’m sorry.’

Kurapika didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know who to go to. He couldn’t call Melody - she’d tell him that he should go back and try to figure things out. Gon and Killua were off somewhere in the world, and he knew that he’d never go to them for something like this. 

He was alone. Again.

But this is how he liked it , wasn’t it? Besides, he had proved himself right. He had told himself over and over again that if he tried to get closer to Leorio, it would only hurt him more. And after hearing what Leorio said that morning, it was confirmed. After all, drunken words were sober thoughts. 

He disappeared into the forest at the edge of the city and didn’t stop until he was near the cliffs by the ocean. He sat down on a rock, the salty smell of the water burning his nose. And he thought.

He thought about himself. 

He thought about his life.

He thought about Gon and Killua.

He thought about Leorio.

And he thought about his family.

His family, whom he had done everything for. Every waking moment of his life since his clan was taken from him was spent trying to avenge them. Nothing more, nothing less. He risked his life. He killed people. He watched people suffer. All so he could give his family the burial they deserved. 

But now that this was done, what was he? Thoughts of a life outside of his revenge came fleetingly to Kurapika, and every single time, he brushed them off. Told himself that he wouldn’t be loved after the things that he did. The things that he said. The things he wanted.

And if someone like Leorio - kind-hearted, caring, and the type to always have room for one more - even realized the weight of what Kurapika had done, what more was there to do? 

He rested his head in his hands, pressing hard against his eyelids. When he thought of this scenario - which he did often - he always pictured that it was himself lashing out at Leorio. Not the other way around. He had always pictured himself screaming at the man for accepting him. Screaming at him for always giving him a chance, no matter the circumstances. Screaming at him for always coming back to him. Whether in texts, calls, or offering up his place for the night. How could a person with so much ever want to waste time on a person with so little? He wasn’t supposed to be cared for by people like that. He was supposed to be discarded. Thrown to the side. It didn’t matter what happened to him because everyone else had everything they wanted. 

And to think that even after all Leorio had done, he still went and risked Leorio’s life, just for himself. He tried to take away the one thing that Leorio wanted. He didn’t even know why he had told Leorio about the contract. 

He probably could have gotten out of their interaction this morning without saying a word. But his stupid mouth had to work faster than his stupid brain, and now he was in more of a mess than he had ever been in. Leorio was bound to find out about it sooner or later, but Kurapika didn’t want to know which would have been better. 

He sighed and stood up, looking over the edge of the cliff. The ocean’s waves were rough against the rocks, crashing loud enough to cancel out any other sounds. In any other circumstance , this may have been peaceful. But right now it was torturous. The water slammed against the side of the cliff like a warning, threatening Kurapika to jump in and feel just how cold they were. It was suffocating, but something about them was oddly welcoming. 

But as he stood there, Kurapika remembered something. Something important. From when he first learned Nen.

The first contract he had put on his powers. 

It was a personal contract - almost more personal than any of the others he had made. 

“No matter what happens to me in my lifetime, my friends get to have happy lives. If I die trying to recover the eyes, make sure they are safe. Make sure they are loved. This can apply to anything that were to happen to me. Death. Decay. Disease. If I am no longer breathing, the rest of them still get to live on as if nothing happened.”

Kurapika stood there for an hour. 

Was this the right choice? 

He couldn’t help but try to picture Gon and Killua’s faces, finding out that he had killed himself. How would they react? Someone who always seemed happy, like Gon, or someone who always seemed reserved, like Killua. Kurapika had promised them a nice life, but at what cost?

And Leorio. Kurapika now knew how he truly felt about all of this . So if he could pick that out of one conversation, Leorio couldn’t possibly be that hurt by this. 

And Kurapika’s family. They were dead. They were dead. And now they were buried . Peacefully laid to rest as last. If no one else was proud of him, maybe at least they would be. And he would get to lie with them. 

He took one last deep breath and looked around him, taking in the landscape one last time before he jumped. 

Leorio went back to work a few days later. 

Physically, he felt better. Mentally, he couldn’t stop replaying what he remembered saying to Kurapika that morning. As much as he tried to ignore it and hoped that maybe Kurapika had seen his message, it was hard. 

He had been scheduled to work in the ICU that week. After he informed the doctor he was working on the date he was scheduled to take the exam again , she wanted him in a quick-moving place where he could be surrounded by all different types of medicine.  

He made his way around the floor as usual, the only way to distract himself from his thoughts. He stopped in each room, asking the nurses if they were in need of anything or simply standing there to observe as others worked for a few moments.

It wasn’t until the end of the shift that he ran into anything unusual. 

He had been getting coffee for the doctors on call , and he overheard a few staff members talking about a new patient who had been admitted the day prior . He listened to the scattered voices as he continued to fill up the small cups. 

“Blonde male, early twenties, maybe?”

“Yeah, that’s what I heard. A suicide victim.”

“We don’t get those a lot, but when we do, they’re pretty bad.”

“He had no ID on him; no one knows who he is.”

Leorio had mostly ignored the thoughts of Kurapika in his head until now. But as the staff members described it more, he couldn’t help but fear they were talking about Kurapika. 

It was on his way out of the break room that he managed to catch what room the mystery man was staying in. He quickly delivered the drinks and then made his way back towards the ward. When he got to the door, he stopped. His breath hitched in his throat as he looked through the small window.

He only had to look for a moment before his heart stopped. If he had still been carrying those coffees, they would have been all over him by now because the sight of Kurapika in the small hospital bed made his body tremble. 

Chapter Text

Leorio informed the doctors immediately that he knew exactly who was lying in the bed. It took a moment for them to believe him, but it was much easier for them to take care of him once they knew who he was. 

Kurapika had attempted to kill himself. Why? Leorio could only take guesses. He knew that Kurapika had been going through things for years - how mentally stable could someone be if they watched their family be massacred at a young age? But he couldn’t help but blame himself as he thought back to the things he said to Kurapika. 

Everything had happened in a blur since he first saw Kurapika in the room. Although his thoughts were always running and his hands shook most of the time, he continued to work. And after he was finished working, he would sit in Kurapika’s room, studying not only his textbooks, but also the way Kurapika looked. 

He wasn’t badly injured. Someone as strong as Kurapika would have needed a lot more than a high jump to hurt him gravely, that was for sure. Even still, Kurapika was unconscious. He wasn’t in a deep enough state for it to be considered a coma, but he also wasn’t awake enough to answer people or open his eyes, for that matter. 

Even still, Leorio rarely left his side. 

He felt guilty. More guilty than he knew he should be. Even if Kurapika had his battles that Leorio didn’t know about, Leorio still yelled at him. He had called Kurapika out on the way he treated them, neglecting the reasons why Kurapika may have done so. He always hated to admit just how little of Kurapika’s life he truly knew about.  

Leorio spent all of his breaks in Kurapika’s room, where the nurses he worked with would constantly give him updates as to how he was doing. It was obvious to everyone that Leorio and Kurapika were close, even if Leorio hadn’t admitted it. 

On the nights when Leorio worked late, there were times he would accidentally fall asleep in Kurapika’s room. Textbook open and notes splayed across the ground, he would be slumped over the edge of the bed, his hand just barely missing where Kurapika lay. 

He would spend hours staring at the blonde, hoping for him to wake up. He would watch Kurapika’s frame rise and fall with each slow breath, noticing just how prominent the man’s ribs were, even through the pale hospital gown. As he watched, he would curse himself for not helping out more throughout the years. Maybe he could have convinced Kurapika to take care of himself more . Maybe Kurapika wouldn’t have tried what he did. Maybe he could have listened to what Kurapika said if he ever chose to talk.

Well, Leorio knew one thing was for sure. He was going to make Kurapika talk once he woke up. Not right away, of course, but he needed an explanation. And Leorio knew that he needed to apologize for what he had said. There were plenty of words to be spoken, hanging around in the air. They were within reach, but Leorio couldn’t quite figure out how to piece them together yet. 

He had texted Gon and Killua after a few days to let them know what had happened. And although he didn’t expect it, both of the boys and a young girl they called “Alluka” all came to visit Kurapika while he was still asleep. 

“Will he wake up?” Gon had asked, teary-eyed and scared. 

Leorio nodded to him when he said this. “He will. We’re not sure when, but he will.” 

They had stayed for a few hours, visiting with Leorio and enjoying each other's company. Even the young girl, whom Leorio would have to get the story on later, held Kurapika’s hand for a long while. 

If only you could see how loved you are, Leorio thought to himself that night. Please wake up soon. 

That was the night before his exam. He had spent hours leaning against the edge of the bed, contemplating taking Kurapika’s small, pale hand into his own. He fought against the urge, as painful as it was. He didn’t want to intrude. 

He settled for a swift brush against Kurapika’s hand. Nothing much, but enough for Leorio to feel the cold, soft nature of his hands. It broke his heart as he looked towards Kurapika’s face again that night, eyes lightly shut, skin pale with a gray hue. He didn’t look like he normally did. He looked lifeless, even though the strong heart of his was still pumping away. It hurt Leorio that he couldn’t do more for him, but he kept promising himself that once Kurapika was awake, it would be his goal to make him feel and look like himself again. 

He took his exam three days later. He walked into the building feeling refreshed this time, rather than nervous and unknowing. And boy, did it pay off. 

He passed with flying colors this time around. And while the claps on the shoulder and the ‘whoops’ and hollers he got from his colleagues were great, he didn’t feel as happy as he should have.

Kurapika still had not woken up. He was still healing and stable, and the bruises on his arms and legs had begun to fade. But he hadn’t woken up yet. It stung Leorio to walk into Kurapika’s room after the test to see him still lying in the small bed. He wanted to talk to him again. He wanted to apologize and tell him that it wasn’t his fault that Leorio had failed the first time. He wanted to tell Kurapika that he had been naive. That he was stupid for lashing out at him when all he had done was try to do something nice. 

Most of all, he wanted to talk to Kurapika about the time since he had regained all of the scarlet eyes. He wanted to know why the ‘contract’ had been set there in the first place. He wanted to know why Kurapika hadn’t contacted him after all of that happened. And he wanted to know why Kurapika had continued to hurt himself, even after reaching his goals. 

When he first saw Kurapika in the room, one of the first things he noticed was the scars that lined each of Kurapika’s wrists. It was evident that there were old ones, and also fairly new ones that had hardly scabbed over yet. He wasn’t mad at Kurapika at all, no, he felt hurt. He felt miserable, knowing that he hadn’t been there to stop Kurapika from doing that to himself. 

His mind began spinning every time these questions pounded their way through his head. Hell, he didn’t even know if Kurapika would answer them once he woke up. If time had proved correct, Kurapika would go back to being his reserved, quiet self. 

Leorio could only hope that he could maybe, just maybe, change that once he was awake again. 

It was another week before Kurapika woke up.

Leorio had been home for the night after a grueling shift that left him utterly exhausted. But all of that disappeared when he got a text from one of his coworkers late that night. 

‘He’s awake. You can come see him if you’d like.’

Hearing that he was awake was enough to get Leorio to jump from his couch and throw on clothes that were reasonable for him to leave the house in. He sped to the hospital, narrowly missing the police car that had been hiding in an alley, waiting for people like Leorio to come through. 

When he arrived, he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and made his way into the hospital. His heart was pounding, and he was paranoid that the people he walked past could see this. 

Would Kurapika be happy to see him? Or would he be upset? Would he tell him to leave?

“Leorio!” his head shot up at the sound of a woman to the right of him. He looked to the side and stopped when he saw a nurse walking towards him. 

“Hinano, hi, how is he?” Leorio immediately began asking questions. She was the one who had sent Leorio the text that evening and had done so many other times during Kurapika’s recovery process to let him know what was happening. 

The woman smiled warmly. “He’s doing just fine. I let him know he would likely be having a visitor. Let me show you to his new room,” She turned on her heel and began leading Leorio towards the patient rooms, long black hair swaying behind her. 

When they reached his room, she stopped outside of it. “I already let the doctor on call know that you were coming so that we could give you some privacy. He is stable physically, but with all psychiatric patients like this, he is most likely not stable mentally. If you need anything, I will be right outside the door.” Leorio nodded at her information and turned towards the tall door, taking a deep breath before gripping the handle. 

His hands shook as the door opened, revealing Kurapika on the bed. He was sitting up, propped against pillows on his back. He didn’t look at Leorio until the door was firmly shut behind them. 

Leorio’s heart froze when he met Kurapika’s gaze. His eyes were dull, as if any energy had been sucked out of them. His shoulders sagged underneath their weight, but he was unmoving otherwise. 

Leorio, however, was quite the opposite. The moment he saw Kurapika recognize him, he took three quick steps forward and engulfed Kurapika in his arms. If his brain had been working correctly, he surely would have waited. But he was too excited to see Kurapika alive to hold it back. 

“Goddamit, Kurapika, don’t scare me like that,” He whispered. Kurapika was tense under Leorio’s arms, not making any effort to return the hug. Leorio didn’t care. 

He held himself there for a few more moments, taking in the man in his arms. He wanted to remember this, even if Kurapika never let him hold him like this again. Because even if he wasn’t returning the hug, he wasn’t fighting against it. 

When he let go, he rounded the bed and sat down in the small chair next to it, scooting a few inches closer so that his knees were touching the edge of the mattress. The room was dark, the only light being emitted from a small lamp on Kurapika’s bedstand. The golden light from it almost made Kurapika look a bit better than he did. Almost. 

Leorio just stared at Kurapika for a long moment. Kurapika, however, faced the wall in front of him, only moving to blink and breathe. Leorio was sure that Kurapika knew he was staring, but felt it was probably for the best that Kurapika didn’t return it. 

They stayed like this for a while. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t what Leorio would have preferred in Kurapika’s presence . Especially after the past few weeks. Kurapika had tried to kill himself. Leorio wanted to know so much, but it was too soon. He needed to let the man open up on his own. 

But the moment Leorio looked down towards his hands, he heard a small squeak come from Kurapika’s direction. His head perked up to see that Kurapika was now looking at him, terrified. His eyes were wide and painful as he opened his mouth to try and speak again, his efforts from before not coming across as a full word. 

“Leorio,” he whispered, just barely audible. Leorio didn’t say anything and waited for Kurapika to say something else, chest tight with anticipation. “I’m sorry.” 

His heart shattered. He wanted to reach forward and hug Kurapika to his chest again, but he held himself back. Instead, he reached for Kurapika’s hand, gentle in every movement. 

“You don’t have to say sorry for anything,” Leorio tried a small smile, but couldn’t tell how it was reading. “Rest now, talk later. I won’t leave, I promise.” He ran his thumb across the back of Kurapika’s hand. He had to use all of his strength not to shake as he did this. And like their hug before, Kurapika didn’t fight back. He let Leorio hold his hand, without question, not saying another word. The few words they exchanged were enough. Nothing more needed to be said at the moment. 

And though he swore he could have been hallucinating, Leorio could only hope that the small squeeze that he felt on his hand as they sat there in the dark was real.

Chapter Text

Kurapika was upset when he realized he was awake. 

He couldn't move, and could hardly feel his limbs as his eyes fluttered open. All he could do was watch as a pair of nurses bustled around his room, adjusting knobs on a wall or taking notes on a small clipboard. 

What he could feel was the gut-wrenching ache of what he had just done to himself. Or did to himself a while ago. He had no idea how long he had been out. 

“Sakura-San, he’s awake,” Kurapika’s eyes darted towards the blonde nurse who had just spoken. Both nurses looked at him with surprised yet calm faces. 

Kurapika didn’t say a word. He just allowed them to do what they needed to with him. He was too lost in his thoughts to do anything else. To want to do anything else. He was furious that he was awake and breathing. That wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. He was supposed to be dead right now. His friends, if he was even allowed to call them that, were supposed to be living their best lives without him right now. 

He stayed unmoving for a long time. The nurses took what he calculated as fifteen minutes to finish their job before exiting his room. But the only thing that made him flinch and turn towards the nurses was the words, “Kurapika-San, you may have a visitor soon.”

Kurapika seldom spoke during his time in the hospital. But someone like Leorio wasn’t going to let this stop him. He attempted to fill the atmosphere with light chatter about his day or his job, even when Kurapika never did anything more than nod. 

It was painful, to say the least, to watch Kurapika in this state. He gained his strength back faster than a normal person, but it was still a grueling process. 

Kurapika refused to eat a lot of the days, but Leorio managed to catch glances of him attempting to eat whatever food the hospital provided when he wasn’t looking.  

It was something, at least. 

Leorio couldn’t help but continue to think that Kurapika was still mad at him. Kurapika had every right to be upset at him. Leorio hoped that Kurapika was upset with him, because that meant he would be able to talk to him and make up later. But even if Kurapika was mad at him, he never made the effort to push Leorio away. He let Leorio talk nonsense to him for hours. He let him help fix the pillows behind his head when his neck was strained. 

And the most peculiar of them all: Sometimes Leorio would wake up in the middle of the night, only to find Kurapika gripping his finger in his sleep. Leorio couldn’t tell the difference between his heart soaring or hurting, as every time this happened, Kurapika would have torn his hand away by morning. 

Leorio never pried. He never asked about it. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially if he was being vulnerable after all that had happened in the past month. So instead, he kept to himself, cherishing the moments instead of trying to question them. 

Because, as far as he knew, they could be gone the moment Kurapika was discharged from the hospital. 

“Surprise!” Gon practically flew through the door, causing both Kurapika and Leorio to jump out of their skin. Killua and Alluka followed suit, smiles just as big as Gon’s, with their arms filled with flowers. 

Leorio had waited until Kurapika was able to speak for himself before inviting the three over to visit. Of course, he had kept them all in the loop, but he didn’t want to stress out Kurapika. When Kurapika agreed that he would be willing to see them, Leorio messaged them immediately. 

“Hi guys,” Kurapika gave them a small smile. He had become more animated, little by little, as the time went on. He was beginning to respond to people again. Smiles, though, were rare. Leorio tried to ignore the blush in his cheeks. 

“We’re so glad you’re awake! We were so worried! We brought you flowers from the island! I hope you like them!” Killua had to hold Gon back, as he was moments away from physically jumping into Kurapika’s arms. No matter how much he grew, he never lost his familiar energy. 

“Gon! Let him breathe a second, idiot!” Killua snarled, reeling Gon back to his senses. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Gon smiled, quieter this time. “It’s just, I’m just so happy you’re here, Kurapika!”

“He’s not wrong. You should have seen the look on his face when we heard what happened,” Killua brushed his hand across Gon’s shoulder. “You would’ve thought the Kite situation had happened all over again.”

Killua earned a rough kick to the shin for this. 

“I’m sorry to have worried you all so much,” Kurapika frowned, trying to decide the correct words to use. Luckily for him, he had friends who understood him perfectly from a single sentence. 

“Don’t worry about it, Kurapika! All that matters is that you’re okay now!” Gon looked to Killua, who nodded in agreement. Kurapika gave them another small smile, but turned to face the other person in the room. 

“You must be… Alluka?” Kurapika tested the name. Leorio had only told him everything he knew about the girl - that she was Killua’s sister, and that she was always tied to his hip in the best way. She was the shy type, but opened up immediately when Kurapika spoke to her. Almost as if she could sense that he was a good person. 

If only he could sense that about himself.

“Yes, that’s me!” She smiled, stepping forward with a small bouquet of pink and white flowers that matched her outfit. She gently handed them to Kurapika, who took them gratefully, taking a moment to smell the fruity aroma. 

“These are beautiful, thank you, Alluka, ” Alluka looked as if she had just been complimented by a celebrity, face melting into a big smile.  

And for once, everything felt normal.

Everyone pulled up a chair around Kurapika’s bedside, and they all chatted for hours. Gon and Killua told Kurapika all about Alluka and how they met, laughing at their jokes and showing Kurapika pictures from their journeys since they had last seen each other. 

This time, Leorio was the one to stay quieter than usual. He wanted to give the three the chance to catch up with Kurapika, because he knew he had had plenty of time to just exist around Kurapika the past few weeks. But he also stayed quiet because he wanted to watch.

He wanted to watch how Kurapika interacted with their friends , and he wanted to watch how Kurapika reacted to what they were saying. Every small chuckle that bubbled from Kurapika’s lips was enough to make Leorio’s heart melt, because it helped him realize that Kurapika, at least a part of him, was still there underneath all the silence. 

The goodbyes were bittersweet. Not because they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while, but because they all had fun together. If it weren’t for Kurapika’s current situation, it would have felt just like old times. The witty bickering and quick jokes made the atmosphere feel warmer. And although no one said this, it was something they all subconsciously noticed. That was enough to make a “see you later” hurt a little less.

Kurapika was allowed to leave two weeks later. 

He had gone through extensive therapy during his stay there, and he was stable for the most part. Of course, he’d have to keep seeing people for this, but that was okay. It was evident to both Leorio and Kurapika that the latter was ready to get out of there. 

On the last night of his stay, Kurapika had stayed up later than usual. He was reading a book that had been left on his bedside by Leorio - who did it while he was sleeping so he’d have something to do, and didn’t plan on telling Kurapika it was him - and only peeled his eyes away to adjust the lamp next to him. 

Leorio had been sitting in his normal spot, looking through charts and other notes from the day. The room was filled with the normal comfortable silence. That is, until Kurapika shut his book hard enough to make Leorio look up.

Kurapika was looking at him with a puzzled look on his face. Even though the room was mostly dark, it was obvious that the dark circles under his eyes weren’t nearly as bad as they had been a month ago, and his skin didn’t sink as much into his cheeks anymore. 

“Leorio?” That was all he said, setting the book on his lap. He fidgeted with the small chains on his hands for a moment, taking a deep breath. Leorio hummed and watched him carefully , waiting for what he would say next. “I, um, I don’t have a place to stay when I leave here.”

Leorio smiled a soft smile. “I know,” he said, as if something like this should have been common knowledge. “My bed is already made for you back at my apartment. I even picked you up some clothes that will fit you better than mine can.”

All of this was true. Leorio knew from the start that Kurapika didn’t have a place to stay, whether he admitted it or not. He also knew that after this, he wasn’t going to let Kurapika live on his own. At least not for a while. He wanted to make sure that someone was keeping an eye on him and providing him with a roof over his head. He had done everything to make the apartment feel a little more welcoming, with things like an extra toothbrush and other amenities. Everything was in place. 

All he needed now was for Kurapika to agree to stay with him. Arguably, the hardest part of all of this. 

He watched Kurapika, who had the look on his face that let Leorio know the gears in his brain were tossing and turning. He didn’t say anything and let Kurapika proces s. 

And after a long moment, Kurapika looked back up at Leorio. A small glint in the corner of the blonde’s eye was enough to convince Leorio that this answer wasn’t going to be like the past ones. 

“Are you sure?” He whispered, testing the waters. Kurapika looked nervous, but hopeful at the same time. Leorio nodded, happier than ever at this question. 

“What’s mine is yours, Kurapika. You never have to ask.”