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Once upon a time on the Continent, a bad spell was created by a very bad person. It was a dangerous, extremely dark spell meant to reduce people to a shell of their former selves.
Unfortunately, people forgot it existed until a catastrophe happened.
A mage in a witcher keep was interrupted by an unruly trainee while casting. Surprised, he lisped on a few words and thusly, he unleashed by accident the fateful dark magic.
A cloud of smoking snow appeared, quickly spreading all over the Continent and making snow fall over every witcher keep.
In a few seconds, more than two thirds of the witcher population had been touched by the flakes and BAM !
They indeed became shells of their former selves : found in now too big clothes, they had become defenseless and surprisingly cute babies.
The Wolves :
- Baby Geralt will just grunt around the keep most of the time, except if an unfortunate soul tries to make him take a bath. Then, he will kick and scream at the person because apparently, love for bloody guts, mud and all sorts of sticky things in his hair is a hobby he had already vastly developped as a kid.
- Baby Eskel is really sweet but ufortunately still able to cast most of the Signs. With every drop of his usual control lost somewhere in the multiverse. Meaning he can set his diapers on fire with Igni, use Quen to bounce on the walls when someone’s chasing him or use Somne on any adult present in the kitchen when he wants cookies.
- Baby Lambert is one of the most generally destructive kids. Him as a baby, or him as an adult, should never approach explosives without a seasoned witcher nearby watching over his actions. And another crumbling wall for the keep, one ! Better to avoid him, really.
The Cats :
- Baby Aiden is a cat. Quite litterally considering he scaled a tree only to end up stuck on the highest reachable branch. Reachable for a small child, who stayed there crying until he saw a bird downstairs and jumped after it. He then landed in a pile of leaves, the bird flying away, but … Oh ! A butterfly !
- Wether young or old, Gaetan apparently loves being bald. So much that he tried to give other witchers the same haircut as him. With a stolen sword. The victim ended up being a Bear, who, furious at the holes in his quite long and furnished beard, ended up tying up Baby Gaetan, spoon feeding him until the de-aging spell ended.
- Baby Kiyan is relatively well-mannered until he stumbles upon one of his two triggers : cheese, and yarn. The first will leave him as high as an adult taking fisstech on a daily basis. The second puts him on hyperactive mode, with no off button. He will be the instrument of his own demise though, chasing the thread across the encampment until he inevitably ends up tied to the wheel of the head caravan by the power of a giant mess of threads.
The Bears :
- Baby Ivo and Baby Junod are a package deal, They cry if they are separated, even if it is just in order to pee. Compared to the others, they are little angels, along with Coën. But, beware, and don’t even try to threaten one of them, because if the other is nearby, he will retaliate, violently. Once, someone tried to take Baby Junod alone to bathe, saying that ‘you are a big boy, you cannot stay glued to that kid for everything’. That person ended up being shitted on by Axiied birds the whole day, courtesy of Baby Ivo.
- Baby Arnaghad (or Arny because he doesn’t register his full name as a kid) has some sort of weird fascination for snow and tries to integrate it in each and every aspect of his life. He somehow puts it in his crib, in his meals, on the walls, even tries to bury objects and people in it, like a dog hiding his favourite bone.
The Griffins :
- Baby Coën is just the sweetest child (child-witcher) ever : he giggles, doesn’t ever cry, even helps his caretakers when they are changing his brothers. It is unfortunate that he is so quiet though, because at times people start forget about him being there. The manly shriek that escaped one of the guys left adult when he saw Baby Coën trailing behind him in a dark hallway is still remembered and laughed about.
- Baby Keldar can often be found in the library of the keep, just like his older self. However, devouring books finds a new definition here, because he litterally gnaws on them at all times. Manys centuries old manuscripts now sport little teething marks on their covers, even on the metal corners. He also drools and rubs against them, as if marking his territory.
- Baby Erland is as undignified as his older self is poised and chivalrous. He growls and crawls on all fours as if he were a true griffin. Piece of advice : griffins have wings and so, the kids thinks he has them too. Meaning he tried to take a leap of faith from an old broken tower, realised midair that he couldn’t truly fly, proceeded to flap his arms wildly in a pathetic attempt to break his fall, only to land safely on one of the guys who were training in the yard. Baby Erland then had the gall to giggle as if he didn’t just almost committed suicide. He did it again two days later.
The Vipers :
- As an adult, Ivar ‘Evil-Eye’ hoards many magical objects and potion components in his rooms. Baby Ivar is a fan of his older self’s collection, but doesn’t yet know what all of those things really are. That is why some of the remaining adults somehow found him juggling with werewolf eyeballs and what appeared to be a liver while magical fumes seeped from the room. Those poor guys are still in dreamland and plagued with greenish skin as of now.
- Baby Warrit is generally calm, except for the few defensive reactions caused by his blindness, which stuck with him, even when turned into his child self. If you surprise him, he could bite. He also goes up to a person and starts sniffing them deeply . And, when he likes someone or something enough, he snuggles close to the person or the object and falls asleep right there. Sometimes, it’s on someone’s swords. Or their smelly socks. He is not a very difficult child.
- Baby Letho, like all other Vipers, must shed his skin from time to time. Only problem being that he is very shy about it. Thus, he hides when it is time for him to do so. Anywhere. And like cats leave fur behind them, Baby Letho leaves scales everywhere he goes, from the local hot springs to the kitchens, like the ‘Little Thumb’.
These observations were made during The Dark Time of witcher history, especially for the unfortunate few, like myself, who remained adults and had to suffer through caring for super-powered babies. May we rest in peace now that the curse is broken. And if it ever happens again, my only advice is to flee far far away. In another galaxy maybe…
And make the not-so-little shits pay for what they’ve done to us as well !