Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Being the way I am was not what one would think of as a normal childhood, a child of a demigod hero who had drifted from his heroism to starting a family and ruling a fair and balanced society for their kingdom.

A kingdom called Opus, though usually known as Opuntia Locris, is a line from great-grandfather Aeolus, of the Aeolian Race.

My father Menoetius was a demigod born of the Goddess Aigina and the Grandfather Actor. He wasn’t famous like his hero friend Jason, but in his way, that’s how he liked it: peace, before he met my mother.

She was a traveling Egyptian woman with her father, the trader, while she was a musician. Noble Egyptians were soothed after by the Achaeans, but my father fell for her musical talent. Her fingertips touched the strings of the harp while she sat in my father's court like she was the glittering sun, and her hands were the winds moving swiftly yet instantly. That is what my father loved about her.

“ King of Opus, my darling Philomela has caught your eye.” The Egyptian trader's dark hands placed on my father’s shoulder to whisper to each other.

“ Philomela.. What an outstanding name, just like those earthly eyes” my father muttered and that was all my grandfather needed to hear as my mother's harp stopped its voice as her hand stood in their place.

That day, my father asked for her hand in marriage.

It was a marriage out of love, it was what had brought Myrto, Abderus, and me into this world.

Myrto was the eldest, and Abderus was the middle child, to them they had not expected to have another sibling just when they were nearing their teenage years

And yet my mother bore me.

The youngest of the batch, and thus got my goddess grandmother's attention, a child who is just like their mother, in every aspect from the hair, the green eyes, and the rich glittering skin.

My mother had not uttered a word in her birthing bed before Aigina entered the room.

“ Patroclus.” she said, “ the name shall be known as Patroclus.”.

My mother stared at her; she dared not defy the goddess who had welcomed her into the family with open arms.

So she nodded as best as she could while I stared as my grandmother cooed at me.

Yet I was known as “Cleo” by my servants, my family, and the nobles. The goddess grandmother did not approve of such, she named me greatly yet I heard servants mumble to themselves about it.

And a girl with fresh black hair and darkened skin pointed at me “ You got a boy’s name! A goddess named you a boy!” and they laughed as they taunted me before my sister stood from her sitting place. The girls quieted as soon as that and stared at my older sister “ Do you wish to be whipped if you speak to a princess like that?!” and it scared the girls away into tears, I looked at Myrto like she was a hero, my hero every single day.

“Mother?”

“Hm?” my mother hummed as she played with the strings of her golden lyre, its shapes were that of a rich swan with green-like lines to establish its beauty,

“ Did grandmother give me a boy's name?” I asked toying with the hem of my tunic, feeling ashamed asking that question, I heard her sigh and place her lyre on the bench before petting her lap for me to sit in.

“ my love, there is no such thing as that, your grandmother adores you far more than she adores her son.” she even giggled as her finger tangled between my curly hair “ a boy name is just a name, just like a girl name is too, do not let mere peasant girls or boys smear your name Patroclus.”

I had always loved it when Mother would untangle my hair, play with it while rocking me back and forth as I fell asleep in her warm embrace that smelled of freshly formed flowers.

I do not remember my dream, it was foggy and I dreamt of the sea, with a woman standing in the middle.. she looked nothing like my goddess grandmother.

I was nudged awake by Abderus' clumsy finger “ wake up.” and “ wakey, wakey.” he kept repeating the same words until I pushed him off, and he laughed at me for it “It is the morning Cleo, come on up you need to eat.”

“Can’t the servants bring my food here?” I questioned annoyed out of my mind while rubbing off the sleepiness out of my eyes.

“Oh nah we have guests, they're nobles! So they are very busy as you can tell.” He says as he scratched his tangled hair and stared at me, my father was not expecting guests, let alone ones from the north.

“ Is he a family friend?”

“ I mean yeah, probably, he is one of the richest men in opus.” he shrugged “ other than that i don’t know, why do you wanna know so much? you’re like seven years old” i grumbled at that, i know i was young and naive but i still am as smart as a seven year old could be.

“ He also has a son! His name is Clysonymus” That name is when my life changed for the worse.

Chapter Text

i had met that boy that same night, Clysonymus, he did not even look like he was a native of opus, his skin was that of sand with a bit of tan and his hair was yellow, not the marvelous hair the heroes have, it looked sickly and his eyes were blue, taunting blue of the sea, such things weren’t considered beautiful in our time but i had overlooked as the boy looked lonely.

I approached him silently while holding a horse toy to him “Don’t you want to play?” I asked him with my doe eyes looking at him, he was startled it was so quiet before my voice echoed through the white and painted walls.

“ huh.. I was not expecting.." I tilted my head like an owl. “ Patroclus? Right? I thought you would be a boy.”

I grumbled at him, appearing insulted by his words.

He raised his hands in defense “ i apologize!! I didn't mean to offend you” the awkwardness in this boy was so obvious it would have made the servant girls cackle at him “ no matter!! Come, you seem lonely, I will keep you company.” and thus i took his hand and led him outside while holding the horse.

After that, I never considered Clysonymus my friend, but I assumed he had, which is why he was honest with me.

“ You know! When I grow up I want to be your husband.” I laughed at his ridiculousness.

“You? My husband?? I would rather marry a boar than you." He wouldn’t be a fit as a husband, his father might be a noble with wealth but even that is not enough to appease my father for him asking my hand in marriage.

That's Clysonymus and I had fun more frequently.

By drawing with sticks on the dirt, I drew things for him to guess, but he never got it right, he huffed and puffed about how I cheated but I only laughed at his absurdity.

He smiles at me before jokingly picking up a little dirt from the ground to throw at me, and he succeeds by it landing on my face causing me to cough and shake my head, he only continued to laugh at me, as I pouted knowing the servant girls would scrub me till I am shining like the sun.

I repaid the favor by pushing him into a pond, and he will be fine of course, just has to go take a bath too.

But my father didn't take too kindly to the harsh playful jokes me Clysonymus and I did to one another

I had begun training with my sister and brother as defense, but my brother was fit to train like a prince would to defend his family, me and Myrto learned in case of an attack on us.

i quickly learned about how using your environment can help with defending yourself, a rock makes a great weapon, especially with holding it and hitting the person with it in its head, and at that as time went by i learned of the dagger and how to hold it properly without it slipping out of my fingertips.

“ Cleo! Focus, please for the love of Hera, lighten your grip on the dagger.” My father sighed, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment, my father demonstrated how to pose correctly too, to make sure Myrto and I are paying attention to his words and his lessons.

Despite how boring they were, it was fun to bond with my father through this too, even if Myrto was not too keen on listening.

That’s what and Myrto I have been learning for the past two years, she was older than I and more experienced but now I'm still just a child, a nine-year-old no
least, not older than Clysonymus.

Yet when that day happened I did not know what had taken over me.

I was already going through a horrible day, the Palace’s dog had escaped because of the carelessness of the guards, and it was a cute dog too, one I played with when I had no one.

Yet when I told Clysonymus of it, he dismissed it, only telling me “ Why does it matter? A dog can be replaced anyway.” I stared at him irritably at his words.

“So? He was the palace dog I cared for.” I snarled at his words but he shook his head.

“And yet that too can be replaced easily.”

I stared at him, with my eyes narrowing and my eyebrows raised.

“Just because you loved and cared for the ungrateful mutt doesn't mean it would return it to you too.”

And Clysonymus I had been playing the dice together for hours on and with little boys and girls wandering around playing together, yet we are here rolling dice to see who gets the best number.

He kept winning, and winning, and winning, which made my stomach ache, being dishonored in just a simple game and it still made me angry.

“Aww, what’s with that face, Cleo? You look like a sore loser huh?” he jokingly taunted, and laughed, I tightened my hands into fists and pushed him away, he stumbled on his feet confused but he matched my face of madness “You’re such a crybaby! It was just a—“

I had picked up a stone on the ground and bashed it against his head, he screamed, I heard more than just his scream, yet I did not stop, I bashed and bashed until there was no breath leaving his lips.

My hand holding the stone was full of blood, his blood i shredded throwing the stone across the ground but the blood still cling to my hand, i felt it on my cheek too, i kept breathing in, and out, what caused my temper to shutter was this, a simple game of diec, yet i heard young boys and girls scream “Murderr!!”

I turned and had only the look of disbelief scattered on Myrto and Abderus’ faces...

When i stepped into the court with bloody hands and tears running down my eyes, my mother started weeping, the one who resembles her the most, embarrassing the royal family because of the temper, embarrassing not only that but the boy’s father who deemed his son to be a worthy warrior, died at the hands of a slander armed stupid child.

Amphidamus was the wealthy father of Clysonymus, he stood with his eyes bloodshot red from crying over his dear son, he pointed at me “ How dare you!! You worthless bastard!” My father slapped the man’s hand away “ Don't call her such! Your son was being a piece of shit to my child!”

“ You call that a child? That's Daemon!! It killed my son over some ridiculous Dice game.” Insulting royals is one ticket to death but he is a wealthy man he can disgrace us and make the opunan rally with him

My mother grabbed me close to her, rocking me back and forth, her baby, her tiny poor baby being hurt in any way, she cannot take it “Oh Patroclus!” she wailed “ Patroclus why did you do such a thing!—“

The room went quiet with the godly presence in the court, a familiar presence.

“ Patroclus is to be exiled,” Aigina stated, her hair floating like the seas with her eyes staring blankly at my father and the nobleman.

“ What!! No! he is to be—“

“ You dare speak to a goddess like this?!!” Aigina’s sharp talons grabbed that man’s neck in anger, “ My grandchild would not die for a simple ugly son of yours! If you do not accept this term I will execute you myself! You understand you are a worthless man.”

Amphidamas gasped for air as he frantically nodded as his face almost went purple from the grip the goddess grandmother had, She let go of them and even kicked him at the end.

The man coughed and coughed till no end “ Fine!—I will let that happen but I expected it to happen in a week.” Amphidamus let out between coughs, before getting up and leaving out of the big door that led outside.

My mother was shaking, holding me to her like I was a piece of delicate glass.

Before Myrto walked up to my mother and gently removed her hands from around me, I was still, like a hunted prey.

“ Come Cleo let’s get you cleaned up.” I nodded eagerly, I wanted that cursed blood off of my hands but we stopped as my father knelt on the ground.

“Oh son.” the Naiad sadly uttered as she placed her hand on his hair brushing against it “Do not worry about it, Patroclus would be in a much better place, that is what fate decided.”

“ w—where?” He questioned, he had no idea who could accept a murder in their city, let alone a kingdom at best.

“ Phthia, where Peleus resided, your old friend from the times of your youth.”

Now that is a name he has not heard of in ages, Peleus a king who had a goddess for a wife, and a demigod son, that is not what he would have thought of when he got this news from a traveling merchant.

“But mother, he fosters boys, not girls.”

“ I know, the more reasons Patroclus should go to Phthia, I will take care of—him there.” I saw my mother shudder, a princess living amongst orphaned boys who have zero titles.

That to her sounded like a death sentence then anything her weak heart could handle.

Myrto tagged at my hand, dragging the blood along her palm too, I sigh.

I don't wanna hear the rest of the conversation about what my fate is gonna be, We traveled down the quiet hallway.

“What you did there was..”

“ horrendous? I know..”

“No no!! You defend yourself! If anything, that's the coolest thing I have ever seen you do.” she laughed, a pause, her saying it out loud would have her tongue cut out if she wasn’t the princess “ huh??”

“ You know! Nobody ever thinks of a princess doing that to somebody yet you proved them wrong! That is such an achievement Cleo.” She smiled at me with her white teeth showing.

What I thought Myrtos was acting like a giddy sixteen-year-old and even then I knew better than such? Killing a son such as that is horrifying.

The servant girls had already made a bath for me, such luxury wouldn’t be a thing in Phthia when i go there so i am to survey every second of this, usually the servant girls would scrub my shoulders, neck and my legs till they are aching from it, but that’s how it is, cleanness always been a privilege around here.

Despite washing my hands still ached with the blood of that boy, I hated him, I hated him so much I wish he had never entered my life. Every ounce of me wished that, and I prayed to Goddess Hera that it all goes well in the end.

Before I drifted into sleep on my comforting bed.

Chapter Text

It was time, I was dressed like a boy, the tunic was fitting, a green colored one with white patterns around it, my father and Grandmother were waiting for me standing outside the palace, but I had to bid farewell to my mother and my siblings first.

My mother was aching, sitting on her throne that was of glittering gold leaning down with her hands on her face.

I knelt and grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on it, and she broke once more as she hugged me close “ goodbye mother.” I whispered sadly before I untangled myself from her embrace,

Next was Abderus, the moment I stepped near him he tagged me to him and hugged me close “I should have never told you of that pathetic boy.” he said while brushing away tears from his eyes “No, no I ended up finding him one night.”

“Nonetheless!! all of this is because of that man ugly son, but keep in touch okay, send letters!” Abderus said ruffling my hair like he used to, and then I heard Myrto’s laugh behind me.

“Glad I wasn’t late.”

“Duh of course you ain't!” Abderus grumbled, I giggled in gonna miss this, silly siblings they were, “ Group hug!!” I said tagging them both to me, as they giggled along.

“Oh, Cleo you’re going to make me cry thinking of the fact I can never see you again.”

I stared at her sadly, squeezing her tightly and deepening the hug.

I think I will miss home, and its beauty, I hope one day I can return.

I walked down the stairs of the palace where my father and Aginia were standing sharing a few words.

When I reached there my Grandma smiled at me, “Such a polite boy.”

My father cleared his throat not caring to correct my grandmother, but if anything that made me happy.

A boy I thought, it suits me more comfortably than anything else, I smiled in return and bowed to them both before my Father knelt and held out his hands for me.

“ Patroclus, keep your guard at every second please, There are boys there, and I don't want you to be hurt in any way.” It is such a cruel thing to say to a nine-year-old old but nonetheless, it is for my safety, I gulped as I nodded.

“Don’t be scared, Patroclus.” Aigina said, “Everything would be alright, your father is just paranoid.” She shook her head, and I heard my father sigh “How can I not be?” was his response.

That was the last interaction with them.

Phitha isn’t what i had thought it would ever be, as i walked down the hall to meet the king peleus with my father Ahead of me, i spot some of the servant girls, their skin was not that of tan or of darkened skin like the typical in opus, being different from most others sounds daunting for me, especially as i am trying to fit in.

“ Menoetius! Welcome, welcome old friend." The King’s voice sounded bright, sun-like, as the sun meeting his old friend after so long it was so sweet, My father smiled as he reached to shake hands with Peleus but instead he hugged my father.

“No need for formalities! After all, we had known each other far longer than we had been kings.” he chuckled as my father shook his head “No, of course not.”

Then the king looked at me, I startled under these brown eyes, but I bowed to him “Hello your highness.” I stuttered “No need for that young boy you are always welcome into the palace.”

I let out a breath of Relief then I spotted a blond?— No redhead? I didn’t know but his eyes looked as dark as the ink on a paper, his skin was not exactly white, tan almost, and younger than I.

“ Oh pardon me, this is my son! Ligyron.” It would have been improper of me to laugh.

The boy's name was “the whining” Such names are funny and disgraceful but the boy pouted clearly not liking the way I held down my laugh.

I waved at him before he looked away with a bit of a blush on his cheek from the embarrassment, but the boy was weird.. he had such long ears, almost shaped like an elf, much like my father but different He is a handsome young boy.

Then it hit me.

This is no ordinary boy, that’s a demigod, born of a goddess and a mortal.

That made my jaw drop.

I flinched when my father placed his hand on my shoulder.

“ Patroclus, my son.” he said, “ he.. he killed a nobleman’s boy and the demand was for him to be exiled for his crime, my mother suggested for me to leave him under your care.”

I like being referred to as a boy, it would make any princess pout out of disbelief, but it made me feel like myself.

“Oh.” Peleus uttered as he nodded his son looked at me in astonishment for what my father said “Of course old friend, he would make a fine young man when he grows up, do not worry.”

My father embraced me one last time before he shook Peleus’ hand as he left, leaving me to be in Phthia for the rest of my life.

“Patroclus?” I heard the king utter my voice

“Yes, your majesty?”

He smiled at me “How about you company my Ligyron for now What do you think?” I nodded at him then looked at the young boy, who seemed to be my age but slightly younger.

“ That was cool.” I heard him say as we sat at the shore of the sea that the palace was next to “ hm? What was?” I gently asked.

“That you killed a boy, can you tell me about it?” It was more of a demand from the seven-year-old prince, I stared at him in confusion, Why does this boy want to know about it so much “Aren’t you a little too young for that?”

“Oh come on! I already heard far worse as it is! Just tell me the story! I order you to.” Bratty much? But I had told him, he asked for more details and I gave in. He was too fixated on it and he eyed me with those Obsidian eyes, so that I could see my reflection in them.

“So now that you told me a secret—“

“ That wasn’t a secret though?” a pause that you can hear the ripples of the wind between us “ Ahem! As I was saying! I will tell you a secret too!” he said with his chest all puffed out like a proud warrior.

“ My great-grandpa changed my name to Achilles! But I don't know if I should tell papa about it.” he casually said while lounging himself on my lap as if we had known each other longer, i rolled my eyes at it before i put my hand on his pretty locks of hair “and i don’t mind the name Ligyron it just sounds weird on people's tongues.”

“ Be honest to your Father then Achilles.”

He perked up at me “I like how you say it! A-ch-illes, sounds nice.” I nodded at him before braiding his hair as he lay down on my lap as the sun set down “Can—can you be there when I tell him?” he stared at me even more, unblinking, unnatural.

“ Of course.” he smiled for the first time this whole day that I was with him. “ I like you, Patroclus, I think we would be great friends! The best of friends.”

Helios had finally ended his travel around Phthia reaching his destination and now Selene rides her radiant chariot into the sky.

“We should go back—“I was interrupted by him placing his hand on my mouth “Shh!! We can stay here longer!” he pouted at me like the bratty child he was.

“ It's going to be dinner for you, you need to be back or else you’re father would think I kidnapped you.”

“ yeahh i know but don’t worry i doubt it would go that far Patty.” he chuckled at me with poking my squishy cheek with his finger while I pout at him even more, he was spoiled but I can’t complain when I have been too, by my mother, my father and mainly my grandmother,

What I did not expect was being dragged along with Achilles to the dinner as I awkwardly bowed down to King Peleus who was curiously staring at his son.

As he had said “ I did not expect you to bring along Patroclus along Ligyron,” he scratched his beard “ I am intrigued,” he added.

“ I think he’s cool!, The only boy in here who seems to put up with my shenanigans Dad.” Achilles replied biting down on the chicken leg he grabbed with his weird sharp teeth.

“But uh.. can I tell you something, Father?” I simply sat on his side to show my support for him as I shyly dipped the bread into the soup and bit down on it.

“Do tell.” King Peleus muttered as he sipped his wine “ Well! Remember when you left me in great-grandpa Chiron's care and grandma’s care?” Peleus nodded at his son as he drank his wine

“ He changed my name to Achilles, and I like it more than my old name.” He looked embarrassed as he glanced at me with a pinkish tint on his cheek, I simply tilted my head at him.

“Ah, I see, why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He asked as he placed his hand on Achilles’ messy hair “ I— didn’t wanna hurt your feelings.” He replied with a mouth stuffed with food, I chuckled to myself, Messy boy he was certainly something Peleus found adorable about his young son.

He simply smiled at his son and nodded along as Achilles told about his day with me as I was quiet the whole dinner, casting my eyes to the white skinned servants who seemed to also stare at me, I know I looked new to them, immigrants from the south isn’t a surprise but my complexion was.

Golden complexion is what I heard from their many whispers as I tried to shake the thought of judgment from them.

But I can still make the most of it while staying here to serve King Peleus and his spoiled son.

Chapter Text

Me and Achilles did become closer it was an easy friendship for us both and for once I do think I had a friend who cares for me, we talked all day and all night till we fall asleep in the same bed from exhaustion, Achilles usual bratty behavior Stil there he demands me to play with him, and frequently to go meet the other boys who stared at me before they eagerly ask me questions of the south.

Weird questions that are like, is it true that the south is full of monsters?

Is there a different kind of wine? I heard it is better!!

Is it more sandy than green?

Do all the southern Achaeans have green eyes? I have never seen one with green eyes

And finally, do all southern Greeks have weird ways of speaking? If anything the Phthian accent was weirder sometimes I didn’t understand some of the words Achilles uttered before he mutters it again and draw it in the sand for me to understand, it was embarrassing, getting a lecture by a younger boy about how the Phthians speak, and how they write poetry, how their waters are always active and that the market place is full of drunk man, it was the norm for them.

“So! I never asked about your patron god? Who is it! Is it Apollo? Or Ares! Or—“ he kept talking until I giggled as I played with his crimson hair “Why are you so eager to know? It can’t be that important, is it now Ligyron?” I teased him, he laughed and lightly placed his hands on my face and kept pulling on me like I’m some sort of squishy toy “ Come on you can’t hide it from me forever Patty!”

“It’s the goddess of marriage.” I simply said to him as he kept his hands on my face now staring up at me with his big eyes.

“Really? I honestly never expected that,” he replied while removing his hands and playing them back on my waist as he was lying down on my lap.

“ Why is that?” i asked, normally patron gods dewl with Zeus, Athena, Ares in the south but our patron goddess has been Hera, it had been this way before my father ruled, my grandfather used to rule and his way of thanking Hera for her blessing on his and Aigina’ marriage was by making her the patron god of the city it was an easy step.

“Well—it is because it is the first time I heard of that, do you know who our patron god is?” he was still staring as if this question determines my view on Phthia but I was no fool.

I heard about the Myrmidons for Olympus they were ants that Zeus made into humans for King Peleus to lead, that is what my grandmother said.

“ it’s the god of lightning, Zeus, right?” and at that he smiled and nodded as the water stilled for a second before the tides resumed its rush with the wind on its Heel, and as Helios shone brightly in the sky, it made me feel right at home, here in this place with Achilles around, it was anything but i had ever thought it would be.

As time went on the fun and more comfortable we were together, but to my surprise he told me that i have to train just like the other boys, i didn’t mind but i am not sure how i can be with the other foster boys he was usually around but it is what i'm supposed to do.

The teacher was Phoenix, an elderly man who was always standing near King Peleus. He too was fond of Achilles, he had seen me around but I do not know how he feels about me just yet it’s only been a few months.

“ I will be there so you don’t have to worry!!” he said while standing near me, i lightly pushed him jokingly “ so you can see me fail?” i giggled “ Patty come on you know you’re probably the strongest one out of the boys!.” he stated as if he hadn’t wrestled with me before, he always wins it is natural for godling that way.

While we were there near one another as always, Phoenix was giving the boys a lecture about wrestling and how to be a man even when you lose. I sigh, it is so nerve-wrecking because I am not like them, and I do not want to be exposed like this by wrestling.

“How about you start Patroclus?” Phoenix looked at me and I flinched at the sound of my name on his lips, the slurring accents of the phithans “But you have to choose one of the boys to wrestle as you are the oldest out of the foster boys.” It was more of a demand that’s how adults were.

The young boy raised his hand, he was not older than me but he seemed to be Achilles' age, and I pointed at him “What’s your name boy?”

“ Alcimus sir!” he said with a glow in his eyes to prove himself, it almost made me feel bad that if he lost he would be devastated.

At that we wrestled, i pinned him down on the training ground as we grabbed one another shoulder he pushed me down as well as we rolled around in the grass and with finality i grabbed his shoulder and pushed him onto the ground with my knees on his back, as the boy tried to fight me off before he goes “ I yield!!” he panted as i got off of him and gave him my hand, he grabbed it and pulled him up.

“I'm—“ “ That was awesome Patroclus!!” Alcimus interpreted with excitement with his hands all up, we were still panting after it “ we should do it again one day!!” he was almost jumping out of excitement, in his own words that was the first time he was this excited for something.

That afternoon was filled with training, spear throwing, using the bow, but i already have known of these i was trained under my father for two years so this is only making me improve, Achilles was ecstatic, he been trained by his own father so he has his own training days but this wasn’t this one.

And Achilles I have a growing bond, we are always together, yet it doesn't matter we both share the same humor, the same excitement except my exhaustion after we raced or wrestled like common young boys.

I eventually got the courage to talk to the servant girls. I didn’t know how to take care of myself and yet they did, they all looked charming and lovely even with their simple clothes.

When i clumsily asked her “ um miss?” the older ones whos hair was dark of freshly picked up grapes with her skin being a whiter then her brown eyes, she and the other working servant girls stared before giggling a tid “no need to call me miss, young master Patroclus.” i fleshed at that “ no need to call me that, i just need your assistance.. can i tell you girls a secret?” i whispered at the end, and at that the girls lean down, nobody was around, certainly no male guards or any of the foster boys, thus I told them of my old identity and why I was hidden here amongst boys.

At first, they only stared in shock before they turned to one another, no doubt they had never been in this situation, but they did want to help and so they had “ come with us.” the same servant girl said, reaching out her hand waiting for my acceptance, and I smiled.

It wasn’t so bad, when Achilles left to train under his father’s and chiron’s watchful eyes, i would be with the servant girls, dancing with them, even playing the music and helping them with their chores if it was possible, me and them went from not understanding one another to being like my older sisters.

The three I always hang out with are Pyila, Tryo, and Otonia, Pyila is the dark-haired woman I had talked to first, Tryo was Pyila’s younger Sister who also fled from their parents to seek a better life, Otonia was the only one who was born in the palace by a nobleman of Phthia.

Achilles found it weird that i hang out with the servant girls at first but it was merely Childish jealousy “ i don’t get it why can’t you join in on my training!!.” he pouted as he had his head on my shoulder as we were laying down against his bed pile after he trained and bathed himself.

“ Maybe your father doesn’t want others to know of your skill? Surely that can’t be the only excuse.” I started as I played around with my hair, braiding it just like how the Phthians do it, which I learned from Otonia.

Achilles only wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue “ Dad shouldn’t be so worried if anything it would only make me seem more amazing!” and looked me in the eyes “ besides we wrestled before! don’t you think it was amazing?” eye contact is his way of showing eagerness for an answer, i only had ever seen him do this with me and no other boy or any other of his teachers.

I giggled “Now you are just seeking my compliments, fussy boy.” I rolled my eyes as I saw his pout before he tackled me “How dare you speak to a godling like that Patroclus! I shall punish you!” He sarcastically said with a cheeky smile, and he started tickling me I squirmed and laughed until a tear slipped out of my eye from it.

He was still laughing at me after he finished his tickle attack. He uttered my name seriously this time, which shook me out of my panting ”

“You know I would never do that to you right?” he said with a slight taint on his cheek, I stared at him confused before he quickly explained.

“No, no! I meant as in I would not punish you ever, I like you Patroclus.” he sounded embarrassed, I smiled lightly at him as I held his hands in my palm “I know that Achilles, but why that sudden question? Did something happen?”

He glanced away at first. Ignoring my questions for a few seconds of silence stilling the air “ it’s just—my mother told me to be careful around the mortal boy—I didn't understand why at first but I think she knows about you.” my heart skipped a beat as i heard him mention his mother, his mother..

He had never mentioned her fully before until this moment it got me curious, She was a Neriad that’s from my knowledge, not a Naiad but still a possibility of her knowing my grandmother is enough of a sign that something is up.

But I never thought of my grandmother ever scheming around with the Nereids and the Naiads.

“ You don’t need to worry so much! I assure you I can handle your craziness, besides there’s a reason I was sent here, remember?” trying to lift the mood once more, and at that, his smile brightened up that anyone would have mistook him for the thunderbolts that the god of the sky rules over.

I went to the girls later that evening, right before bed, Pyilla looked up from her weaving to smile at me “Didn't expect to see you awake still, you know I thought you would be exhausted after spending time with the prince” I only giggled in response.

“ Well!! He was a bit jealous when I didn't spend time with him”

“ How cute!, he's getting attached to you so fast. “ muttered Otonia pulling on my cheek like a proud and overbearing mother… It makes me miss my old home.

I do see them as my aunties most of the time, a lot more bearing and gossiping about things about the palace guards, the generous king, and about the new items in the stock market.

Talking about the last time the queen had embarked from the sea, Achilles’s mother.

I knelt down in front of Tryo who started to braid my hair as she gossiped with her sister and Otonia about the water goddess, how the last time she was in the palace was yesterday, Achilles had told me of it, I wasn’t around, and was training with the boys.

It makes me feel… uncomfortable?.. Not that the great water goddess makes me feel that way, but the idea of a goddess knowing of me, makes me feel afraid.

She could love me, and dote on me like I am her son too, and treat me sweetly like a devoted mother.

She could hate me, making me fear the possibility of her sending a serpent after me.

“ Here you go sweetie all done.” Tryo's sweet and mellow voice yet soft, she would have been a great singer, but she loves her job, I nodded my head and bid her thanks, I stood for a second before looking at her wanting to ask a question about the goddess.

Pyilla stopped and stared at me “ The great goddess.. is complicated conversations in the household.” She gasped out with a bit of a chuckle “She is loved by King Peleus, she is generous, yet still powerful and terrifying in her own right.”

She sighed “ i do not know what overcame her but she stopped being in the palace anymore” she pointed at me “ if you want to be on her good side, offer her seashells, make a necklace out of it.” she was firm and honest, she always has been this way, it stirred my soul on how dealing with gods can be dangerous.

After that I left to go to Achilles’ and my room, expecting to see his golden hair sprawled out on his pillow and the side of the pallet, soft snoring, and the smell of salt.

But no, he was waiting for me to come back, and as soon as the bed cracked he smiled and uttered my name happily, I stared at him surprised.

“ I thought you were asleep.” I softly whispered with a blush creeping on my face, he was far too attached.

“ I wanted to see you first.” he huffed, “ I can't help it.” and that caused me to chuckle before pulling on his cheek, telling him that he worries way too much and he responded with a pout.

before giggling too, and then pulling me into the bed

The next month the goddess ended up finding me on the shore, with my knees on the soft and yet rocky surface and my hands going through the silky clear waters of the sea to clean my face, my aching face of a day of crying and tearing up remembering my family, as it was my father’s birthday.

Aigina came bearing a beautiful smile early that day, telling of my father, my mother, and my siblings.

“ Such a shame you weren't there sweet thing, We met the hero Heracles.” She let out grasping softly at my hair embroidered in pearls “ he wanted to see your father and in turn his eyes landed on your sister.”

I stared in shock, my sister was.. still fairly young yet such a thing should be celebrated, but I felt astonished.

Casted aside from me to know this so late.

My grandmother goddess placed a kiss on my forehead and on my cheek “Take care my little Cleo, your future will be much brighter.”

She always said that.

It is a reminder that she always would come back to take care of me.

That’s when my tears fell, I didn’t want to burden her any more than I had, tears flowed out of my socket onto my cheeks and to the shore where the water would take it as theirs.

That’s when I felt soft paddling of feet from the sea, before a clawed hand just like my grandmother’s soft touch touched my cheek.

“ Oh, sweet thing you are.” A melodic voice came from the breathtaking sea goddess, whose golden hair flew around her like waterfalls “Do not cry.”

She wiped away my tears with her hands so gently that I lost all my will and melted into her embrace.

“There you go sweetheart, Patroclus isn’t it?” the sea goddess questioned gently.

“Yes, your majesty..” I yelped out embarrassingly as she chuckled at the formality.

As I suspected, she was Thetis, the goddess mother of Achilles and the rightful queen of Phthia herself, holding me and cradling me softly as if I were her own.

To my surprise, she called me little Cleo just like my grandmother, and I smiled softly at her with my cheeks heating up from being gently called that for so long.

She guided me back to my feet and grabbed my hand and walked to the palace, the guards stared in astonishment at the queen goddess suddenly being so soft towards a child not of her own.

Achilles was happy to see his mother getting along with me and treating me softly and gently, his smile was so warm and genuine that it made me feel shy to know how much he cared about our little friendship.

“ I am glad to see you were able to tame Achilles’ temper down, always the most angry little thing you were Ligyron.” the goddess teased while touching her son’s golden hair, he pouted at her.

“ I cannot be tamed!! I am a demigod, mother, you should know that.” He replied with a grin and puffed out his chest to stand proud before her.

She pinched his cheek softly while giggling over how cute her golden son is, I softly snickered at him and he just stared at me with betrayal “ Patty not you too!” he exclaimed at me.

Thetis only chuckled and patted my hair gently, and soothed my scalp with her fingers, yet I did not fail to notice the marks around her face, her shoulders, and mostly her arms, these marks are not unheard of, my grandmother has them but these only belong to a Neraids or Naiads.

That’s why it makes her appear more divine and then I wondered.

Will Achilles have these marks when he gets older?

Chapter Text

Grandmother had not told me that my family would come to visit, let alone spend a week in the palace.

When I first saw them, I was of course with Achilles, we were climbing up a tree to collect some apples, it was my turn.

I jumped up and clung to the tree to not slip off, while Achilles laughed and urged me to climb up, and so I did, I would have almost reached it if it wasn't for the yell of my name.

A very familiar voice.

“ Patroclus!”

Achilles flinched thinking that we got caught and went and grabbed me off that tree only for me to land on his abdomen, and he yelled out an ow!.

I scrambled off, apologizing to him and lending him a hand, and pulled him off.

Myrto stood in her place next to us staring confused, and raising an eyebrow.

I gulped and smiled awkwardly at her, while Achilles just pouted, he doesn’t know who this girl is nor does he feel like he should know her.

She laughed into her hand “I can’t believe this just happened.” Before reaching to me and pulling me into a hug, I melted into it and deepened it. I missed the smell of the leaves and soft fresh tingle of lemon from her.

“You’re still so clumsy.”

“ I missed you too, Myrto.”

I snickered into her embrace while she shook her head, and looked at Achilles.

Achilles only pouted and waved at her, I couldn't tell if it was out of politeness or cause he was just not used to attention not being on him.

I softly grabbed his hand. “ This is Achilles, he is the prince.” I introduced “ and this is Myrto, the princess of Opus, my sister.” And he stared at her, not making a noise waiting for her to say something.

And in which she said “It’s fishboy right?” she snickered before bending down to our height

My eyes narrowed and flushed out of embarrassment while he grumbled at her and looked away, tossing his golden hair along with it.

I whispered, “Myrto please..” I facepalmed my head. Fishboy was a nickname my grandmother gave to Achilles who did not appreciate it. I thought it was a cute one at first but I can see why Achilles sees it as an insult.

Even if he does resemble a fish, a handsome golden fish no doubt.

She only giggled “What? I thought it was a cute nickname.” She shrugged, placing her hand on her hip and the other twirling a strand of curly hair on her face, always resembling that of her father, dark skin and dark eyes, and a mole on her chin.

“ Well, it wasn’t.” Achilles finally spoke, frowning and rolling his eyes at her, I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“ Achilles be nice, she’s my sister.” he only sighed and nodded in regards to my request.

I tried to change the subject asking her if Abderus came along too, because he wasn’t with her, as they were tied to the hip, ever since I was born I remember that.

She crossed her arms and groaned “ he left with Heracles—-“

“You know Heracles??” Achilles turned to look at her with interest.

she ignored his question.

My sister frowned over his interruption “—— As I was saying, he left with Heracles, left to adventure alone and became a hero, or at least that was his excuse, I know the reason why, stupid boy.” She shook her head in annoyance, but I could see the sadness in her tone.

Being left behind, she already had to deal with my exile and now Abderus had left her by herself in the palace.

I only nodded sadly, she was already used by a hero as it is, in such a crude way when she was so young.

She reached out her hand for me to take, no doubt to go see our parents, I gulped, I miss them of course… I just do not want to embarrass them anymore but I obliged.

My Achilles and I went along going inside the beautiful Palace, with the sand tagging in our bare feet, where he would have giggled but I can tell he was on edge.

I mouthed to him if he was okay, and he shook his head, he didn’t know his father had a guest to attend to.

“ Cleo!” My mother's voice came through as we walked inside with her hands open for me to run up and embrace her.

But I stood embarrassed by that nickname, Achilles only stared and urged me to go to her, not to keep her waiting.

I went and hugged her, wrapping my arms around her and holding her close too. I missed her, I missed when I could come to her for questions, silly questions where she would chuckle and poke my nose with her finger over the weirdness of my questions.

But now, I can’t picture myself doing that, where I can learn these questions myself, and answer them myself too.

A tear still had slipped up from my eye, as my father knelt down but only shook my hand, to keep up with the facade.

After that, I still went back to Achilles and his father’s side, as that’s where I belong, and where I feel more myself, I wiped my face and my small tear away.

And then I felt my hand into the familiar sensation of the salty and dirty hand that Achilles always bestowed upon me, trying to comfort me, and in turn, I smiled at him.

Peleus hummed, and placed his hand on his son’s shoulder, urging him to introduce himself.

But my mother looked at the golden son then subtly glanced at father. She wasn’t surprised but she was slightly upset by it.

Achilles bowed down before her and his father in politeness, which he had not shown to Myrto.

“Please do make yourself at home,” he spoke so courteously to them, not the words you would expect from a young boy like himself would ever be spat out.

“So… Cleo huh?” he snickered at me, I scowled at him, and he kept shaking with laughter into the pillow of his bed “Come on!! It is a cute nickname, unlike fishboy!”

He gasped at me and tagged my ear and I just stuck out my tongue at him pulling on his hair.
“ ow!! Ow!—“ he whined out

“Tagging on my ear hurts too fishboy!!.” I jest while he laughed.

And then we wrestled on the pallet, with him taking hold of my arms, while I fought him off with my feet against his chest.

And with one push, he fell off the bed. It wasn’t safe to fight on the bed, but we always find it funny when one of us ends up on the floor.

And then I laughed at him as he groaned and held his jaw, I would have felt bad for him but he had done the same to me, and I ended up getting a scratch on my chin because of it.

“You’re getting stronger pretty boy.” he grinned, not out of sarcasm but out of genuine admiration, I flushed a little at the compliment pretty boy, not over the fact I was getting stronger.

But I was indeed proud of it, I did end up pulling him up back to our pallet while he told me I should apologize for smacking the prince that far to the floor, instead I poked his nose.

“ Get lost fishboy.” And then he bit me.

To my father’s words from his visit here, Achilles and I were inseparable, and still, I can't help but ponder if he meant it in a good way.

My father is a great king, an honorable one, but I can see him judging the closeness between me and Achilles, he does not say, but I can tell, the quietness of his words and his eyes not leaving my back.

“ Your father is weird.” Achilles whispered “Why’s he leering at me like I kidnapped you?.” he lifted out his hand to tag on his hair that was up in a ponytail, whilst mine was a tangled mess.

“ Achilles..” I glared.

“ I know, I know!! “Be nice Achilles” he mocked while moving his smooth fingers through his hair, I softly snickered “ I don't sound like that.” I countered.

“You do… sometimes.” he shrugged while snickering, while I playfully hit his arm.

King Peleus coughed into his arm, loud enough for me and Achilles to stand upright and in a more dignified manner, still sneaking glances and snorting.

peleus’ voice rang out “ Settle yourselves, the feest will be here soon enough.” signing his hands for the servants to deliver the food, and first came those bearing the red famous wine, and it was Tryo, who glanced at me and smiled, and i returned it, she placed a glass to each of us.

but I noticed the way Myrto's face scrunched up smelling the sweet smell of the drink when Tryo bore it to her.

She didn’t take a single sip, and instead whispered to Tryo for something in which Tryo nodded her head to the princess, before pouring wine for everyone at the table.

Of course everyone except me and Achilles instead we got a naturally made peach drink, Achilles' favorite fruit in which he smiled and drank it like a thirsty traveler.

Peaches were never something I liked, but Achilles loved it, even telling me how it reminds him of me, in which I was surprised.

“ favorite fruit? I questioned him, he placed a finger to his chin before tilting it and his hair ended up covering his face even more.

“ Peaches.” was his response, I didn’t think much of his answer till his expression changed to mischief, cat-like almost “They remind me of you.”

I slapped his hand away laughing, not believing his words “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“ But I'm telling the truth!”

Myrto as well got the peach drink, in which she slightly snorted before sipping on it finally and disregarded the wine next to her.

I thought of her, I will ask her after the feast, but it genuinely concerns me the way she is acting.

My father and mother only admired the place, remarking their gratitude towards peleus for treating me like another son of his, in which Peleus, the humble man he was, beamed at their compliments and nodded to them, like a good host, listening to them and not saying anything till they ask a question.

A tasty and freshly cooked meal was placed on the table, fresh vegetables, soft and warm bread, and of course olives.

Horiatiki salata, a good diet for a soldier that Peleus always urged for us to try, to be more healthy.

Seafood was there, of course, Phthia's homeland was full of rich fishermen for a reason.

Thus the feast started, I quietly ate while Achilles kept making jokes whispering them to me while I merely snicker at him during it.

“Myrto.” I saw her at the shore, sitting there alone haunting me.

I walked up to her and she turned her head to me at the sound of small feet bumping to the sand, her eyes glistening with tears, and her eyes aching red from it. She wiped it away from her face as soon as she saw me.

“Yes?” she calmly spoke, trying to act normal “What’s wrong? Please tell me you haven't been yourself the whole day.” She bit her lip, her shoulder dropping.

She stuttered, she didn't know how to tell me.

Then finally she uttered my name.

“ Cleo, please don’t tell father or mother.” she begged holding on my tunic, i nodded along concerned.

“ i— this feels so weird to say to you, when Heracles had spent the night together, he— he got me pregnant” salty tears fell from her eyes to my tunic.

Pregnant, pregnant… my eyes widened and my lips were trembling, how can I keep a secret like this? How was I to act normal after this?

“ Please don’t tell them.”

“Don’t tell who?”

And Myrto and I trembled at the divine presence and voice in the sea

Chapter Text

“ I cannot believe this.” Father placed his hands on his forehead, bearing shame.

Aigina discovered us, felt our presence on the shore, and came thinking we wanted to see her, only for Myrto and me to talk and hide secrets.

“It is an honorable thing.” “It is not!” Father countered Grandmother over her words, causing her to snarl at him.

“ how could you even let this happen Myrto?!” My father Snapped at her as she cowards behind my mother who was shielding her from his glare.

”Menoetius, you dare yell at her, she’s still young, careless but young.” My mother yelled back at him hugging Myrto close to her chest “ she’s only eighteen, barely out of her teenage years, yet you're blaming her?” 

“ blaming her?? how can i not when she is already whored herself to my old friend, Heracles of all people.” he shouted back, he appeared so inhuman like in his anger “ how is she supposed to be the one Cleo can look up to in the future?.” 

“ listen to your wife son, even she is more mature then you are right now.”

Myrto’s tears fell, apologizing over and over while mother patted her back in comfort.

I couldn't take watching this anymore than I had and I fled away, to my bedroom, I couldn't stand seeing them talk about Myrto this way.

Why is the world so cruel to her? to us?

“Patroclus?” I heard a mumble of a sleepy voice next to me, his golden hair hidden by the rays of the darkness, he rubbed his eyes and looked at me.

I was on my knees with my head in the pillow, I was crying, This was the first time I ever cried in front of him and he was shocked.

He didn’t know what to do other than smooth my scalp and pat it while I cried, he pulled me up the bed and hugged me closer, all tangled up while he wiped away my tears.

“What happened?” he gently muttered removing a strand of my hair from my face.

“It’s… It’s myrto, she—“I sniffled “ she’s pregnant, and my family found out because of Aigina” and put my head on his shoulder.

There was silence, he was still awake embracing me closer and playing with my hair to calm me down, and to change the subject he said “ I love your hair.”

I hummed in response “ I like the curls, and how long it is” he grinned “We almost look like we are matching, you know.” I giggled a little at his tone “ I like your hair too.”

“Really?”

“ Of course, I love how golden it is, it makes your eyes stand out more.”

Then we fell asleep just like that, all snuggled up to one another with no care in the world.

My family didn’t stay for long, the next day they left back home, it felt draining and saddening to see them go so early because of the news, I can’t imagine how she must feel in all this with the pressure, I do not know what I would have done in her shoes.

Me and Achilles went back to our usual routines, I got to train in the morning with the other foster boys and got to spend some time with the servant girls.

But the girls sensed my distress, after I failed to do the simple task, my excuse was that I was tired.

“ ow..”I yelped at the slight cut I had done to my finger while helping Otonia who flinched and placed her knife down to check on my finger “Shh it’s okay! I will tend to it, come up, let’s go find you a bandage” she said softly massaging my hand.

“ No, I’m fine,” I mumbled, but Otonia frowned at me, She was the first one to notice how distracted I was, especially telling me to go rest instead of helping her to cut some simple vegetables up.

She insisted this time with no questions, I held her hand and dragged along with her in shame, my blush flushing, it almost made me look even more of a child being guided away by its mother.

As she folded the bandage around my finger she looked at me and her eyebrows narrowed, pitying me almost, and in a gentler tone, she held my hand in her palms.

“ Patroclus, what is the matter please, I can’t take seeing you like this” she muttered with pity in her voice, My shoulders dropped and my hair shielded my face and I exhaled.

“My sister is pregnant” I replied, She merely tilted her head urging me to go on “ I was the first to know but—“ 

She hummed in response while rubbing circles on my hand “My father was not happy, he.. he insulted her during that.” That’s when her shoulders tensed up her earthly eyes widened.

“ he called her name and..” I stopped and gulped, my lips trembling “Why are girls treated like this?” 

“I—I can’t answer that.” Otonia replied firmly, turning her head to not to face me staring at the window of the room “Woman, girls.. they never are held up in the same regard, I have told you why Troy and Pyila fled, didn’t I?” I nodded along to her words 

“But you Patroclus, you can make a difference, you aren't seen as that, you're a boy, not a girl, not anymore, you should be proud of yourself and not let these things control you, I can see how lively you are when you are with the boys” 

She deepened her hold on my hand “So please, live your life, you’re far too young to think of these things.” Otonia looked at me, her face with a bit of sadness in it still smiled in hopes of lifting my spirits.

“ Do you think I will be found out one day?”

“ I pray that you won't.” Was her response before we went back for her to do her duty?

After that I spent the evening with Achilles, he told me how his training went “ Chiron came today.” And it piqued my interest “Really?” I asked smiling, 

“Of course “ he snickered “ he came to train me, but it wasn’t anything too interesting.” he groaned over it boring he said and it only got me to shake my head.

“Why?” I questioned again, poking my finger on his nose “ cause you weren’t there.”

I stilled for a second “That can’t be the only reason.” I replied, “It is!!” He urged while holding my face in his palms, and I blushed at how close our faces were. It made me almost push him away.

He didn’t do anything after he did that. Regardless of how close our lips were to touch he still acted the same, joking around with him, letting me braid his hair, but I couldn’t stop thinking of that, it still makes me feel so much shyer with him, it’s only been 2 years of us being friends.

He hummed a song while I took strands of his hair to braid with caution, his hair is thinner than mine and I don't want to accidentally pull on it hard, I was too overpowered by my will to do it.

After I was done he lifted up his head to look at me with his eyes sparkling a little mischief “How did you learn how to do it?” 

“One of the servant girls taught me.” He grumbled over it “Don’t tell me you’re still a jealous fishboy.” I laughed 

“ I’m not jealous!!”

“You so are” he looked away from me still acting so boyish, it was cute as he still is so young “I will not defend myself but come on how come you are so effortlessly at making friends?” he pouted turning around and wrapping his arms around my waist.

“It isn’t fair you know? I want you to myself too,” he mumbled hiding his face on my belly, I sighed, I never noticed that until he pointed it out, Most of the boys and the servants I talked with were far too kind.

“Didn’t you have any friends? Before I came to your home?” I asked patting his head, I felt bad but I do spend most of my time with him anyway.

“No, and my half sister doesn’t count she went away when I was like three.” 

“Half sister?? You never told me of her?”

He shrugged “Yeah she was nice but she was far too skittish and scared of my mother, so she rarely ever played with me, Her name is Polydora.” I nodded along “ but that doesn't matter, I don’t like sharing you with others.”

I only narrowed my eyes at him and laughed “You have some jealousy issues Achilles.” 

“ I do not!!!” his face was flushed red from embarrassment while I laughed and hugged him closer.

Achilles lay still for a second before getting up and holding my face, causing me to startle at his sudden change in attitude.

“What now?” I mumbled out blushing from the closeness of our faces next to one another 

“You’re not gonna leave me right?.” he breathed out waiting for my response patiently.

But before I answered it we leaned in closer till our lips brushed against one another, softly and gently and yet it felt hurried on both of our sides, we were kissing.

I was the one to lean away from him, shock pulsing through me, and yet I can still smell the soft peach on my mouth from him.

“I— I'm sorry.” he was the first to say with his face flushed red and his chest heaving with surprise at his actions “I didn’t know what came through me I'm so sorry Patroclus.” 

“No, no! It’s okay.." I insisted, embarrassed by this exchange, that he was much younger than I. I was the one to be more responsible for him “Let’s just forget it okay.. let’s not talk about this Achilles.” 

He looked away, ashamed, and nodded his head slowly. I do not know if he was hurt by my words or my rejection, but I felt bad. It was so sudden, if I hadn’t gotten distracted I would have stopped him from showing such affection.

But he stood up “Let’s go back to the palace, Dad wouldn't be happy if we stayed way late.” I shook my head “ I will follow you afterwards, I... I need some time.” he didn’t say anything other than smile at me sadly and then walked away to the palace.

I hit my face stupid! Stupid how could I even lead him on, Does he even know who I really am? If so he would have said something, This feels so aggravating, everything that was happening was not helping me.

I never meant to play with his feelings. I exhaled and stood up but before then a familiar soft hand tagged at mine.

I stilled. My breath caught in my throat, my eyes narrowing in terror as I slowly turned behind me to face who it was.

I heard a soft gentle giggle, Thetis’ features appeared appeased, but I was still afraid that this was some sick joke but she touched my cheek.

“Calm down sweet thing.” she sang “I saw” 

I turned my head down even more ashamed than I already was, but she placed a soft kiss on my forehead “ you really are something aren’t you?” she smiled, as i stared up at her.

“Your majesty you’re… not mad?”

She shook her head, her hair flowing around alongside her, her black eyes tingling with brightness “At last now I know my Achilles truly found someone who cares for him like this, I'm glad it was indeed true.” 

I tilted my head. This is so weird to me, her words make zero sense. 

She packed her clawed finger on my chest, making me wince, It didn’t hurt but it was a surprise.

Then I shudder, “ I know what you are, your secret is safe with me.”  she whispered gently with a smile on her face

My lips trembled as she disappeared as soon as I looked away for a split second, so I ran back to my room.

Chapter Text

I gasped when I felt cold hands on my back, jolted awake from the soft pallet, sweating with my eyes wide open.

“ Patroclus? Are you okay? Are you sick??” Achilles' eyes were clotted in worry placed his hand on my forehead, I felt so overwhelmed that I had fallen ill because of it, I felt so nauseous as Achilles Laid me back into the soft mattress inspecting my hot face.

I coughed a little “ I will be fine, just a small cold.”

“ you’re burning this is not just a small cold Patroclus, I will get Chiron.” His tone was firm as he expected no objections from me till he mentioned he would get his mentor, my lips trembled and I grabbed his arm.

“ no! I’m fine please.” I weakly uttered from the bed I was not fine, I know I wasn’t but I didn’t want him to find out.

He shook his head, and gently removed my grip from his arm, grabbing the blanket and placing it on me “ rest for now I will be back.”

As the sound of the floor went away, I slowly got up, removing the blanket, and placing it on myself like a veil just in case, and every step felt like painful nails digging in my heels and body.

 I needed to see my grandmother, but the one who showed up wasn't her.

The water of the sea rises up and there she was, Thetis once more finding me on the shore “ we—we keep meeting like this your majesty.” I roughed out a joke between coughing and huffing of my chest, her eyebrows went downwards staring at my weakened state, she lifted up my chin to look at her.

“ You shouldn’t be this afraid, if Achilles ever found out, he wouldn’t cast you aside.” She said pulling me in her embrace “ not like the others would, I promise you that, have I ever lied to you?” 

I shook my head, not wanting to speak and just melted into the queen’s arms where she hummed softly and pleasantly as she set up. She brought me up with her like a babbling baby.

But she stopped as if sensing someone’s else’s presence near, she didn’t say anything and merely nodded her head. I didn't lift my head up to see who it really was.

It felt embarrassing to be carried off like an infant back to the palace, where the frosted boys quiver as they felt her presence and went to their shared room.

I started coughing and held onto the pillow as she placed me back into my bed, patting my head and gently rubbing it with her cold hands to ease me just a slight bit, even if the warmth in my body was making me extremely uncomfortable. 

Achilles lips trembled not knowing what to say, he had never fallen ill as a little babe, nor has he ever felt dread like this but his mother shushed him, as Chiron and Peleus Coughed making their presence known.

“ Thetis..?” Peleus raised his eyebrow at her, she slowly stood up leaving my forehead bare of her cold hands “ what is the matter with the boy?” He questioned his darling wife.

“ sicknesses overwhelmed him, and he came to me for help.” It was not a lie, nor was it the truth but I thank her each time for saying it like this.

“ come, let’s leave wise Chiron to tend to him.” she grabbed his arm with no question guiding him away to leaving me, Achilles and Chiron alone.

Chiron horse legs knelt down to reach down to me, while Achilles gave me his hand to set up, I hissed at how fast the cold have spread throughout me, I panted, my eyes were burning, small droplets from them not out of sadness but being overwhelmed from my sickness.

“ Patroclus, is your name isn't it?” Chiron's brown gaze pierced through me as I nodded “ glory of the father, noble name and noble lineage,”

I only let out a exhale as his touch reached my neck, touching it and inspecting it, Achilles stayed quiet near Chiron, who looked at the boy.

Achilles looked at him and Chiron singled with his hand to leave, Achilles casted his eyes to me as if seeking my approval and I only nodded, clearing my throat to hide my nervousness.

Achilles did leave but I know he was worried for me, he had been since I woke up, I huffed and my lips curled up at his sweet side.

“ Patroclus, you have a fever, but you already knew that.” Chiron said with straight face with no hesitation nor any restraint, his voice was raspy and scratched his beard

“ but I cannot comprehend why you are here.”

“ You know what I am do you not?” I rasped out, my eyebrows frowning annoyed almost, the old Centaur hummed, mixing herbs I have not seen before, I think it was called chamomile, ah Chamomile tea, but he also had brought a cold water basket with a cloth.

“ I am not the only one then I assume, a youngling like yourself wouldn’t have kept up the pressure for this long, that’s why you fall ill.”

The centaur lifted up something, I couldn’t notice but it was a cup? He placed the mixed herbs into the cup and mixed it with a spoon, then he deemed it well, he lifted it up to my mouth, I drank it, despising the weird taste.

“ you need to open up more, especially to those close to you.” I know who he meant, who other than Achilles, but I shook my head, I was far too tired for words but I coughed out “he wouldn’t forgive me for lying to his face.” 

He only placed the cup down and pulled the cold basket and ducked the cloth down in it, pulled it up and softly wrapped it and squeezed it slightly before placing it on my forehead, I trembled a slightly at the feeling. 

He sighed, rubbing his eyes “ Young one, you are making it harder for yourself, heed my words and think more of it, you are still reckless and young but I know you are smart, but for now, sleep, you will become better soon enough.” He stood up and at that he went away.

I stared at the ceiling. Counting each of the paintings in it, shaped like Sea creatures, gold-fish no doubt a request from a younger Achilles, making me snicker, and an octopus one, a typical you would see drawn in fancy jars and pretty jugs, and on the walls of the palace.

The whole palace consists of the sea creatures and seashells, it made me wonder if Peleus made it this way for his goddess wife to feel like she is at home.

After a bit I succumbed to my exhaustion, my eyelashes fluttered a bit before sleeping, wrapping myself in the blanket even more.

it’s only been a couple of days, since i had fallen ill, i had gotten better quickly, during my sickness Achilles spent it near me, making sure the cloth doesn't slip by even when i told him to go to sleep as well, he cuddles up next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist to keep me warm.

I sigh, even despite that he was distant, i had figured he had eavesdropped to mine and chiron’s conversations, even when he was sent away, i wouldn’t be surprised but i was anxious.

i had spent more time with Thetis, she was still gentle to me but i can see she was still a terrifying goddess despite that, the stories the palace had told me left me surprised.

especially about Polydora.

“ I heard she was sent away by Thetis herself to marry Borus, but it didn’t make any sense.” Tryo love for rumors and gossip spreads on “ Borus already won her over with a huge dowry, but she was a very distant girl.” she continued as she picked the jar up after she filled it with water from the drain “ not even the prince was able to get his half-sister to be more open.” 

“ Tryo stop gossiping.” Pyila replied, annoyance creeping in her voice, cutting up wood, the other servants only stared at us minding their business to do their duties.

“ oh come on! I know Otonia likes my gossip, isn’t that right darling!.” She shouts to Otonia who laughed and nodded her head as she was helping out on cleaning the table.

i giggled before looking up at Tryo “ but that can’t be just it? Queen Goddess has been so nice so I don't think she would do that.” 

Tyro only shrugged “ Gods and goddesses are still beings we don’t fully understand love, that’s just how it always goes, but be mindful of her, i know she is a generous goddess but to others she is still a young one.” I nodded along to her words, maybe she pitied me? is the reason she seems to be so fond of me.

I sighed, I do miss Achilles. He was so far gone, and far away from me that I felt I was to blame, but I didn't let it hurt me as much, i will find a good time to talk to him, but Pyilla noticed my pout.

she questioned me if there was something wrong, placing the curved bronze axe down, as she kelt besides me, her dark hair clinging to her skin with sweat trailing down her forehead, she was always tasked with the heavy things for a reason her build was different then the others, taller and a bit bulky.

i told her my reasoning, and she shook her head “ he might be busy, he is soon becoming a man, he was bound to have more time with his mentor because of it.” i know, but it still hurts, it felt like i was being avoided like the plague, like i bear illnesses that would affect him, and make him frail.

but no matter Chiron had now stayed in the palace too, teaching Achilles here rather than the forest because Peleus wanted to keep a delicate eye on his son’s whereabouts. 

As I bid them goodbye I went to go to play with the boys. Each of the frosted boys had their own little friend group, yet initially never intended to become one of their friends. 

I saw that same boy, Alcimus, playing in the sand with another, a much younger boy. He seemed almost like at least seven years old, younger than I was when I came here.

Alcimus noticed me, his ginger hair disheveled, and his hand dirty with the early berries he ate no doubt, his face lit up and waved at me to come near.

I snickered and hopped to their little corner near the tree, and sat down next to them, and the younger boy eyed me and flushed out of embarrassment after seeing my glare on him.

“ I haven't seen you in ages!” I laughed, at most I had seen him whenever it's time for training, but I have been sick for a while so I was excused to not join.

I explained my circumstances, and he nodded along before the boy nudged him, whispering something to him “ ah.. right! Patroclus, this is Automedon.” I waved at him.

“ Nice to meet you.” I spoke to him leaning down slightly to look while in response he only smiled.

“ He is still shy.” Alcimus teased pulling on Automedon’s slightly chubby cheeks which made the boy irritated and stuck out his tongue at him.

As they started to play their games together, I remembered it was the same one I used to play. 

When it was my turn I had decided to make it a little bit harder for them to guess it, but the little boy surprised me.

“ Seagull!!” The boy winded up with a huge grin on his face, stars shining in his eyes. I stared at him for a split second before laughing and nodding at him “ you got it!”

it was his first guess as he was still shyer but as the game went on, he was better at this game then Alcimus was for sure.

I didn't see Achilles till dinner, where I sat down opposite of him, he noticed but didn’t say anything, gaping his lips open and closed it like a gold-fish, Peleus placed his hand on my hair ruffling it a bit.

“ I’m glad to see little skops have been well.” I smiled at him “ hopefully the sickness didn’t wear you out too much little one.” he uttered, removing his hand from my hair.

“ It didn't, your highness.” It kind of was a lie but I didn’t want him to dot on me Like Thetis and Achilles did. He chuckled at me “ don’t call me that,I am almost like your father too.” 

Achilles was so quiet even his father looked at him, Peleus scratched his beard, before glancing at me again, not saying anything as the servants placed the luxurious dinner, this time with pomegranates my favorite. 

In which I would have grabbed one if it wasn’t for Achilles reaching for it too, I didn't make my surprise known but after that I swiftly grabbed one too, he eyed me before snorting.

I merely huffed and blushed from awkwardness, I plucked the seeds from the pomegranate leaving my fingers stained by the red color.

It almost felt weird seeing him stare at me as I placed each seed in my mouth, chewed on it and licked the excused drink that sprouts from the delicate flesh off my lips.

he had still been quiet after Peleus dismissed us to our room to sleep, yet i didn’t fail to notice the red stain on his cheeks while avoiding my gaze.

as we reached our room i settled on the bed but he didn’t, i saw he reached for something shiny, a lyre i didn’t understand why, but he cleared his throat and sat on the floor near the bedding, his fingers glazed over the strings.

“ Master Chiron taught me who to play.” that was his first word to me today, i nodded at him, i softly muttered “ it is beautiful.” the lyre was something special, golden, shaped with a swan at the end of the handles.

“ It was a gift from my mother, i had never had use for it till now.” 

“ Can you.. play for me?” I looked out at the window, Selene shining above, with the reflection of the light on the sea below, his lips slightly curled up as he skimped his finger on the string.

I hummed along as he played elegantly with the lyre, a sound so beautiful yet so small was still a talent of a skilled musician, it is hard to believe he was just recently learning how to play.

he continued on, before looking up at me, not stopping the song, i tilted my head to him, my hair falling along with it, he abruptly stopped.

“ I know.” 

to which i looked away, i know what he is talking about “ i figured so.” was my response embarrassingly almost, but I have no shame it was better he found out this way then me telling him the truth.

“ why? Why did you not tell me? I had to find out cause I eavesdropped on you and mother.” he mumbled sadly.

i sighed “ i don’t want you to see me differently just because i was not born as a boy like you, or the others.”

“ What's the point of this being a secret if i had told you, Achilles, my words stand true, if i had said something you wouldn’t have been my friend.” a tear slipped by my cheek but i quickly wiped it away, no more tears to shed i promise myself that.

“ Nobody had ever looked at me as if I meant something to them, that’s until you had, you looked at me as if i was something to you, i didn’t want you to be like the others.” i sprouted out more of my old wounds 

but then.

 “ I'm sorry.” went out of my lips “ i will leave if you want, i don’t want to bother you.” but he stood up and hugged me, causing me to fall back to our bed.

“ no, don’t.” he whispered, tightening his grip.

 “ You will always be Patroclus to me, no matter what, but please no more secrets, can you promise me that?” my hand slowly went up his back and hugged him close, and muttered onto his shoulder.

“ I swear it.” and we looked at one another, a smile on both of our faces, and he wiped away my tear.

“ There, no more crying Patty.” He joked, and I giggled before trying to push him away, but his arms never left my waist.

 I suppose it would be nicer to cuddle again after so long.

Chapter Text

“ You should come with me to my lessons Today,” Achilles muttered in our shared bed, I raised my eyebrow and curled my lips in a mocking smile, I thought he was joking for a split second but no, he was set on this.

“You’re joking? Will your father even allow that?” I questioned him as I pushed his face away to get up, but he rolled around above me, “I don't need to get his permission.”

Already so rebellious.

“No, you have to.” I replied back pulling on his arm, he ended up stumbling and falling down on me with a cheeky smile when I let out a loud huff “ you’re heavy get off.” I joked to which he pouted.

“ But I don’t need to, he told me it is fine to allow others to watch.” He responded, getting a bit agitated and annoyed but I gave in “Fine I will go with you to your stupid lessons.” 

He laughed, finally getting off of me, finally being relieved and not being crushed by him, but I wondered, he was already growing so fast, he was almost taller than I was, and yet I was older. But again his eleventh birthday is coming this summer.

It wasn’t boring, it was more fun than the training Phoenix had given us, it was more detailed, and plus the wise Chiron is the teacher, at first I didn't think he would want me here, but soon enough I realized he is just really intimidating.

He renamed Achilles after all, his golden descendant. It was almost funny at first, but I did find it extremely sweet of Chiron to still be involved.

He hummed inspecting the herbs I blended before scratching his beard “Very well Patroclus.” Before looking at an annoyed Achilles, he hated these lessons, it was for healing and medicine but he thought he wouldn’t need to learn them.

“ Little calamity, calm your nerves, here I thought you brought Patroclus so you can impress him, but so far he has outdone you in this regard.” In which I snickered little calamity is funny as a nickname for him.

Granted his father called him by his old name Ligyron, Thetis had nicknamed him goldfish, and my grandmother had called him fishboy, it made me realize I hadn’t given him much thought for a nickname.

I always loved calling his name, it felt addictive to say, and he had told me how he loved how I said it.

Achilles whined embarrassed with a blush creeping on his light skin, before crushing and blending the herbs with annoyance in his grip, Chiron only sighed and shook his head. I stared in anticipation, waiting for another word to come out of Chiron’s mouth.

Then he said to place these herbs in a cup filled with water. At first, I didn't understand what it was, but then I remembered he made the same mix when I was sick.

I hated the taste of it, but I do admire how effortlessly he made it look. 

“Heat it up on the fire.” was what he said “That's what I would say but you are much younger to handle that.” he had uttered before handing out his hands for the cups, Achilles didn’t obey “No! I want to do it.” Chiron chuckled and let him do it himself.

In which he had, and he did it faster than I thought, it did make me a little anxious about the fire, but Chrion insisted that when I am older I would be able to do it.

But it wasn’t fair but yet again, I was faced with two beings, a demigod and an immortal centaur, I was nothing like them, as mortality clings to me like how my flesh does.

But to Chiron and Achilles, I can still be someone.

Next was learning the spear, and how to use it, Achilles had proudly said he had learned it already, but Chiron butted in and told him he needed to practice again too.

I had a dagger before, wrestled, but I never held a spear or a sword. I was better with a dagger as that was the first thing I had ever learned from my father.

Chiron corrected my stance, and deemed my grip on the handle of the sword perfect, he bid me to hit one of the cut of wood in front of me, i was reluctant but i did as he had said, i treated the sword as if it was a dagger, but he hand gestured to not do so, telling me to treat it more lightly then one.

Achilles had already practiced and felt a bit outcasted from the conversation me and Chiron are having.

“ You are a much better and more promising Patroclus than I had expected from you.” His honesty made me at least at ease, Chiron words ran fast and dry like that “ I cannot promise you if your fighting is what would make you famous, but you are a natural, you would need to eat more, or else your skinny build wouldn't help you in the future.” 

I grumbled a slight bit but I clumsily asked him “But I eat whenever I can master chiron, and I've been this skinny since I was nine.” I embarrassingly admit “What am I supposed to do?”

 Even my sister was a bit more chubbier than I was, the Acheans' beauty standards have always been different from ours, but I had learned in Phthia, a chubby woman is considered more beautiful and worthy of bearing sons.

“ I can't bid if it would work for you, but for now try and be healthier, and practice some routines, take it easy, the same goes for you Little calamity,” he muttered before he walked away to go back to where he stayed for the evening.

I looked at Achilles who stared back before bursting into laughter “ I didn't know he called you that!” He got embarrassed fast and looked away.

“It isn’t that funny…” 

“It so is, but come on you gotta admit it suits you.” 

“Fits me better than goldfish?” he jests with a grin.

“ Goldfish might as well be your name,” I replied with a laugh, he stuck out his tongue at me, before he dropped his sword and grabbed my hand, to drag us back to play some games no doubt.

But he said he wanted to rest a little at the shore, and snuggle together a little, he mumbled it all but we already do these a lot so there was no shame in it.

“ Let's pick out some figs first,” I told him, I felt a bit hungry after the lessons, and it wasn’t lunch time yet but it also felt nice to pick them by ourselves instead.

The fig trees weren’t tall so we could pick them up easily and not like the apple trees. I picked them up and placed them on my tunic, as it was much longer than Achilles’ but of course he laughed and placed the ones he picked up in it too.

It was fun having to walk while pulling my tunic up to go and clean them but one ended up falling and Achilles ended up slipping on it, and landed on his ass.

I laughed at him and he just huffed and whined about having to clean it off his foot now “ just pay attention next time dummy.” To which he shook his head “I have you for that don’t I?” 

I turned my head to him and smiled with a slight blush “ I suppose you do.” 

He ended up cleaning his foot after I finished drying off the figs from the water, I kept snorting at him, and he rolled his eyes with a smile at his lips.

We lay down on the sand near the sea anyway, where we ate Figs and he snuggled up next to my face. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he kept chewing on another fig.

His cheeks were stained with the juice of the fig, I licked my fingers and cleaned them off of him and he only stared at me.

“You're too tidy.” I rolled my eyes and laughed, “ says the messy one.” I replied back teasing him but he snickered before softly biting my cheek.

“ You probably taste better than the figs.” 

“Do I now?” he still didn’t let go of my cheek till I whined, he ended up giving me a little peck on my cheek, I giggled and wiggled my legs around, he stuck out his tongue.

“You’re so weird, Achilles.” I teased, placing my head on his chest playing with a strand of golden hair in between my fingers. He stayed quiet with his mouth slightly opened, and stayed silent as I grabbed the last fig and bit into it, digging my teeth into its purple flesh.

Today was Achilles' birthday, and it started terribly and embarrassingly, My bleeding had come, I was startled awake by Achilles like always, only to find him embarrassed too.

It isn’t like he doesn’t know anything about it, Chiron has taught him about it. 

I kept apologizing to him with my face red from it, and I was so embarrassed. I had known it would happen eventually but I had promised him I would be able to run and play with him for today. 

He only shook his head assuring me “It is okay! Just rest, I will fetch one of the servant girls to help you.” he patted my shoulder, before slipping out of the pallet which was stained, I was still embarrassed, I stared at it and sighed.

This was the first time it happened, my pain wasn’t apparent but it was a slight stomach ache.

Achilles had fetched Otonia, who stared and placed her hand on her mouth. She did as she was told, but she asked the prince if she could go and fetch things for me.

“ I'm still sorry this happened today.” he merely shook his head, he was a lot more understanding of my situation than anyone would be, I had thought he would be disgusted by it but he was mature.

“You can’t control it, I don't mind it,” he said with a genuine smile at me, I replied with a nod of my head.

“ I hope my present will make it up for you.” his elf-like ear ruffled, whenever he was excited he always did it, I had assumed it was instinctive for him.

He smiled wanting to know more but I joked and told him it would ruin the surprise.

Then Otonia came back and told the prince that his father wanted him, Was it a lie? I do not know but it would save me from the embarrassment.

He did wave at me before leaving, Otonia let out a relieved sigh before closing the door behind the prince.

“Poor thing.” she said to me before ruffling my hair “I got you what you need but you do have to change it every few hours,” I grunted and nodded but she also brought a much longer tunic.

“ What is that for?.” I asked, pointing at it, she smiled “It is to cover you more, it is one of mine, consider it a gift.” She was a smaller woman but she is a beautiful one, young and a bit naive but she was very short for her age, so her clothes fit me well.

I had not known what it was for, but she had guided me away to the bath by standing behind me and urging me to stay close.

It was embarrassing as it is, but she was understanding and told me not to be ashamed of it, but “ don’t bring it up to the prince.” She had told me to sit down and started scrubbing me, I huffed out “ but why? he wasn’t bothered.”

“ I know but boys tend to hate the mention of it.” She muttered picking the bucket and holding it up to pour the water on me, my hair stuck to my face as it poured over me, I closed my eyes because of the salt in it.

After she was done scrubbing me clean, she told me how to tie the cloth on my womanhood, it felt weird but i was embarrassed, i was never taught these things as they were a stigma in my homeland, but Otonia and Tryo and Pyila had told me of it, and it felt scandalous to me.

But I grew to think of it as normal, and nothing to be ashamed of.

After that, i met with Achilles in the breakfast table with the other boys, as traditional for his birthday he spends it with the foster boys, praising him and admiring him, i didn’t want the attention on me so i am glad i can sit next to him while the boys pay attention to the glorious prince.

Calling him that makes me giggle, he was nothing like that but a silly boy who wants attention and is destined for greatness, but he does deserve the praise.

Alcimus waved at me sitting next to Automedon who was staring at Achilles with stars in his eyes, I snickered as I walked to sit next to them.

 But of course “ Patroclus! Come sit here.” he waved for me to come, and I did as he wanted, but of course, I waved back to Alcimus before I did.

The boys only stared, before going back on muttering and asking Achilles questions. 

Instead of that, I conversed with Alcimus.

“ Why are you wearing a larger tunic?” he asked curious, I merely lied and told him my other tunics were too dirty so I borrowed this one.

I smiled seeing Automedon still paying attention to the prince. “ Does the little one admire Achilles? You know you can come and sit next to him.” I slightly teased him, but Automedon slightly pouted and nodded his head. I patted the spot and he got up and sat next to Achilles. 

I moved a slight bit, Achilles did notice and looked at me, and I urged him to talk.

“ Hello, what’s your name?” he asked which got the little boy to shyly fidget with his fingers “ his name is Automedon.” to which Achilles “ahhed”

“ Diorês son! I know him.” To which the boy looked at him with a smile, still such a nervous wreck he was. 

Achilles talked about the boy’s father and how cool he was, Diorês was part of Peleus' court, Achilles heard that Diorês once used to be a boxer, but now turned away from that to work more humbly in Peleus’ court. 

When I first ever spotted him I was scared, he was a huge man, not taller than Peleus but he was still bulky and oddly fit, Achilles had always admired him and wanted to be like that.

The breakfast carried off as normal, I still fidget every now and then when a boy gets closer to me, but Alcimus was nice enough to lend me his spot so I wouldn't get bothered.

After that, it was Achilles playing chase, I sadly told him I couldn't and that I wanted to go prepare his gift. He nodded and understood and didn’t push it but he held my hand.

“Don’t push yourself too hard about it.” 

It felt territorial but I smiled and nodded with a slight blush, before bidding him and the boys goodbye. 

The sound of the floor cracking as I went to our shared room to grab a bandana to lift my hair so it doesn't get in the way, and it made my hair look longer than it did.

It was Achilles Bandana but he gave it to me as a small gesture of our friendship.

I remember that for his ninth birthday, I gave him a wooden horse, I was inspired by the horses we saw, the gift from Lord Poseidon. They were beautiful horses, they don’t look the same but beautiful, and I carved one myself.

He broke it when he hit it on the wall by accident.

For his tenth, I gave him a seashell necklace, one I made with the help of Pyilla, who loves trinkets and thought it would be a good bonding activity, Achilles loved it, he only wears it in important festivals. 

For his birthday, I wanted to make him a Peach cake. I knew he loved peaches, and he has a bit of a sweet tooth and I wanted to make it special for him and make it special. 

I sneaked my way to the kitchen, and saw a servant who was startled by me, but I asked him if I could make something for the prince. He was reluctant, didn’t pay too much attention but nodded his head before telling me to clean after I was done.

Which I do know, but I nodded along to not appear a bit agitated.

After that I was set, I had learned how to cook with Tryo, so I do know how to do it myself, I was still careful with it.

I grabbed four peaches and grabbed a knife that wasn’t too sharp, but I carefully removed the flesh of each one, placing them on a plate, then cutting them into split pieces.

Thought of course what is a cake without the flour and dough and eggs, it was exhausting to get right but I tried my best, even if it was overwhelming.

When I was done, I was so proud of the filling look of it, but the oven was a bit harder to understand.

I ended up wanting a slight taste to see if it was good, and it was better than I expected.

It wasn't perfect but it was good, I did look like a mess as some of the flour ended up on my face, but I had cleaned up as I promised.

I grabbed the cake and placed it on a bigger plate and went back to our shared room where I placed the cake on a table.

Before falling on my bed, exhaustion tagging on me, I overwhelmed myself when I should have been at ease. But the idea of seeing how happy Achilles would be is more important to me. 

It was night, i tagged Achilles away after he got his presents from his father, Chiron and Thetis, i was the last to give him his, i felt a bit anxious, his Father gave him a purple tunic and a shawl, it was a sign of luxury, to which my father too had worn with pride. 

Chiron's gift was a golden spear, which was for when he is older and capable, as his destiny was close.

Thetis’ gift was a bronze ring, curved into a dolphin, his mother told him it would still fit him even when he became older, he had slipped it onto his finger happily.

“ My gift is quite simple compared to your other gifts,” I told him shyly and he only laughed.

“ You worry too much!! I would love your gift,” he said placing his arm around my shoulder, ruffling my hair up as he loved.

“ It looks better now.” he jokes, I slightly pinched his cheek.

I told him to close his eyes as I led him through the door, and sat him down on our bed, I slowly tiptoed to get the cake.

I sat on his right and he felt the dip of the pallet, It is bad to eat it on the bed but the servants would end up cleaning it anyway like always.

“Open your eyes,” I whispered to him with a slight smirk, he first looked at my face before staring down at the cake.

“I… made you a peach cake.” I mumbled, biting my lips, “It isn't perfect but I thought it would be fitting as they are your favorite.” 

His mouth agape and then it turned into a grin, and his teeth flashed at me “Thank you.” he muttered.

I served him a slice to try it, he eagerly took a bite and then another, and continued on till it was all gone.

“So? How was it?” I asked, and he smirked slightly before gulping the last bite down.

“ It needs more sugar.” to which I was startled but I nodded

“Thought so.” 

“ You didn’t get what I meant.” he slightly redden and placed his plate down, I stared at him mustering what he meant, but I didn’t grasp it.

“ It is perfect but I wanted something else.” he stared at me then he glanced at my lips, to which my eyes narrowed and I turned red.

I stuttered at first but I could see the pleading in his eyes, and how shy he looked compared to his cheeky smirk.

Then I looked down and smiled.

This time I leaned in, pressing my plump lips against his, It felt better than last time, slow and steady, and I could taste the cake he had, it was sugary and my eyelashes fluttered closed, The kiss was softer than the breeze of the wind coming from the window.

I pulled away, looking at him, and he glanced away with a shy smile tagging at his lips.

But I giggled at him, to which he was confused and embarrassment on his face.

“You’re so weird Achilles.” before holding his face planting yet another kiss on his soft lip, as he relaxed at me and smiled into it.

“ You know you like it,” he whispered on my lips I do

Chapter Text

Summer passes, and winter comes. It seems the queen of the dead has returned to the underworld, and her mother mourns, leaving the world full of snow.

Snow never appeared in Opus. To us, it felt foreign, but for the years I lived here, it was a beautiful sight, I always loved the cold more than the hot summer.

But of course, we finally embraced our affection, hiding our sweet kisses behind the closed door of our bedroom. 

Achilles and I started to explore one another, it was embarrassing for us both, but he suggested it, to figure out what we liked.

When we did it, it was night and quiet, our door closed and our window's slightly opened curtains, letting the cold air hit our bare bodies.

I shivered slightly at the feeling of it hitting my back, I exhaled an unexpected breath, Achilles was not bothered by it, he always seemed to be one who loved the cold air.

At first, we started lightly, he touched my thighs and rubbed them, as I was sitting naked in front of him, my face red and embarrassed as he guided his hand up to my hips.

“ You're soft.” he giggled slightly.

“Don’t make it any more weird than it is.” I huffed out, but he continued to giggle.

I kept glancing down shyly whenever it was my turn, it felt so pathetic but I was a lot shyer about it. I touched his chest, placing it in the spot of his heart, he sighed, held my hand, and slowly guided it down to underneath his navel where a small hair lay.

We did sleep naked too, we didn’t do anything extreme, we had done a few…small favors for one another.

It was always before we fell asleep but it does make me happy how comfortable we are with one another.

We started to bathe together, in his bathroom. The palace consisted of a woman’s bathroom, and a man's bathroom but king Peleus had one for himself and another for his son.

I usually bathed in the women's bathroom instead, but Achilles insisted.

“ You don’t have to but it would be fun,” he mumbled quietly to which I snickered at him.

“ Sure, but don’t act all surprised when I become shy.”

“You’re always shy.” he teased, placing a small peck on my cheek, and took my hand and led us to the bathroom. He was pleased with himself and was glad to spend this much time tied together this way.

It was a fancy one, the walls were beautifully painted, gold, blues and reds, and white, it wasn’t anything like the woman’s bathroom, but of course it would be this luxurious.

“I… I kind of told the servants to leave for today, so it is just for us now,” he said with a mischievous grin, cat-like, I redden from his crude implication.

“ Who made you this bold? Where did my shy and silly Achilles go?” I jest, crossing my arms and appearing flustered by him.

“Yours huh?” he was delighted and I nodded my head “Yes mine,” I stated.

I meant it as a joke but he granted me a long passionate kiss that made me flutter my eyelashes closed wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and

Whined into it.

We slightly pulled away for air but we continued, a slight bit of lust tugging on our bodies, We gasped and panted as we detached from each other's mouths, I was a red mess from the sudden closeness of our bodies.

He chuckled  “We should.. Stop this and go bathe.” he murmured shyly, I nodded my head frantically, my eyes were already widened and my eyes narrowed from embarrassment.

 The water was still warm, and I sighed feeling relieved from it. I sat on the tube, staring at the paintings on the wall, still timid from staring at his body.

“Did you.. Request for these paintings?” I asked, touching the wall, it was a cute little ones, the symbols of seashells, the sea, and.. A sea monster, trying to drift away from the closeness of our bodies pressed against one another, his stomach felt so cold on my back. 

He merely hummed and placed his arms on my shoulder letting them hang near my slim chest.

“ I think so? I don't fully remember.” he nestled his face on my throat, feeling his breath on the back of my neck made me shiver.

“ They are very cute.” I held his hand, delicately tilting my head, for him, he seated his head on my neck and planted kisses up the nape of my neck, I moaned at the feeling of his mouth reaching my jaw with delight.

“You’re so gross.” I muttered and I felt his laugh tickling against my throat “We have to bathe before the servants get suspicious and think you drowned.” He simply groaned out of annoyance, I snatched the sponge and the soap, I rubbed it on the sponge at first.

He was surprised but I moved to face him.

Then, of course, I scrubbed him with the sponge while humming as he whined out over how rough I was with it. I demanded that he stay still, as I washed him.

I threw water on his hair and He looked like a sorry and small kitten soaked in water, his wet hair covering his whole face.

I laughed at him before removing his hair from his face, he was pouting at me with his eyes slightly puffy.

“Poor thing.” I teased him.

Maybe I shouldn't have teased him as it was his turn to scrub me and wash my hair with the soap, he even stared in mischief.

I felt like a mess despite it, my hair clung to my head and body, even some of it entered my mouth, and I groaned as he laughed.

“ Come on,pretty boy it’s time to leave.” he teased, placing his cold hand on my back on purpose which made me flinch from the cold feeling.

I groaned at him, still embarrassed but he helped me out of the bathtub. He at first dried his wet golden-red locks and it looked glorious with how shiny it was, I felt a bit jealous but admired his bare beauty in front of me.

despite my hair being long just like his, its curls made it look shorter and uneven, i never had cut my hair ever since I was a young little toddler, my parents asked me to grow it out till it reached my back.

Achilles' wet hand touched a dark curl and twirled it around “ you seem lost in thoughts.” he spoke with a smile, curious as ever, but i told him i was just thinking about my hair.

“ You know,I do love your hair.” 

I smiled at him and rolled my eyes he had told me that countless times

 “ Is that your way of telling me to grow it out more?.” 

He nodded as a response put his face against my wet curls. 

“ I do love everything about you, Patroclus.” His tone and shift made me stiff and my face reddened at his honesty. He doesn’t hide it as he has shown me affection and sweet words that I never thought I would ever experience.

We had to go to Chiron for lessons, more “boring” ones as Achilles said but for me Chiron’s lessons have always been so amazing and astonishing, it made me happy to learn useful things, the things that Phoenix has yet to teach the other boys.

He was slightly annoyed that I stood away from him whenever we went to these lessons. I told him to be patient but he of course only responded with annoyance. 

Chiron was not subtle about it, but I can feel his eyes reck over my neck, I was a bit nervous and baffled as to why he was so curious about it, My hair covers most of the marks Achilled left.

He didn’t utter anything and went back to his teaching of contraception and how to make these doses, I didn’t know why that would be a priority for us to learn.

I'm sure Chiron didn’t assume things, but that was his intention, to which I frowned.

I always hated the idea of pregnancy, after what had happened to Myrto it made me so disgusted by it.

Seeing how she was treated while forming a human in her stomach should have been celebrated but…. The world is cruel.

I sighed and nodded along and did as I was told while being visibly irritated.

“ please do focus little Calamity.” Chiron attention went back to Achilles, who kept staring off at me, he flinched and nodded his head reluctantly.

i think he sensed my anger, that boiled inside me, but Chiron definitely had, that’s why he calmed me down be softly encouraging me to keep coming to the lessons, even if today’s lesson was aggravating .

“ Patroclus?”  said a voice from the sea, seeing it form into a figure was easier to handle, It was something that I've seen countless times.

“ Hello grandmother.” I looked up at her, she was still so tall, she could smell the aggravation in my voice.

She sighed, sitting down and holding my hand. “ I know the last time you had seen me was not the greatest my dear.” 

I bit my lip as she inhaled and her eyes narrowed removing the set of curls from my shoulder, to see small marks on it, she stared at me… in disapproval.

“ You are far too young, what have you been doing??” she hissed out.

“ That doesn't matter right now, I want to know about Myrto, what happened?” I questioned her, she stood back and hissed at me, she never did that before but I can tell she is not happy with me.

“ What happened to your manners? Did Fishboy get to your head this much?.” she angrily countered before sighing in agitation “ Myrto’s been well, she has been generously taken care of by your parents, be grateful that she is.”

“Why does that matter? I will not be grateful till I know she isn't being belittled by it.” I stuttered out “ please Grandmother, help her more.” 

She stared at me before her eyebrows frowned in sadness and then hugged me “ she will be fine I assure you this,my poor pearl.” she cooed at me like a little infant and slightly rubbed the spot on my neck.

Then we heard a little “ ahem.” from grandmother’s side, there stood Thetis, having her hand in front of her and reaching Aigina’s shoulder.

Aigina sighed in a bit of disturbance “ hm?” she hummed at Thetis, the queen goddess looked at me and knelt.

“ Patroclus, will you do me a favor?”  I nodded at her, her generosity was already enough and I wanted to repay her in some way.

“ but—-i—” I embarrassingly trembled my hands around, the two goddess before me laughed, Thetis held my hands in her palms.

“Please? You will, wouldn't you?”

“ Your majesty, we both are too young for marriage.” she nodded along, and smiled “ I know, of course I do, but you would be just… betrothed to him for now.”

To my shock, grandmother nodded along like this isn't the first time she had heard of this, and had given her approval despite her distaste towards Achilles.

“ I will let your parents know about this.” 

Achilles laid in our pallet, staring as I kept moving around like a madman, he twirled with his hair, not bothered by what I was scattering out of my mouth.

“ so? It wouldn't be a problem.” he shrugged and I shook my head “ what do you mean??? My father wouldn't approve.” 

“ Your father has no say in this either way, you're exiled, my father has a say in it.” I sighed and sat down next to him, I rubbed my face with my hand, I was anxious, this had been so sudden from Thetis to request such a thing “ I know.”

“Do you think this was planned?” I asked him, and he played with my hair to calm me down “ I don't want to assume.. But maybe?”

“If you want my honesty, I do think so.” he uttered, I urged him on “ My mother isn't that nice, that's why I was surprised to see her so.. Motherly to you.” I nodded along, I knew how the servants talked and gossiped About her.

“ This feels so bizarre.” 

“Are you against it?” he muttered but I can tell he feels disappointed by that idea but I shook my head “ I just feel we need more time.” and he agreed, but of course I was still nervous.

It's so new between us both, and rushing it is… not what I want.

He got up from laying down and embraced me from behind positioning his head on my hair. I held on to his arms wrapped around me and hummed.

I don’t remember how long we stayed like this, fully aware of the clothes coming between our bodies, I kept humming a familiar tune, while softly rubbing his hands In assurance.

We slept like that, him still having his arms around me, snoring and his mouth agape, and his light eyelashes softly closed. I gave him a peck on his forehead before I let the slumber overtake me.

Father was not pleased, he never was, if he could he would have taken me back home, but I couldn't care less, after the way he talked about Myrto, is the reason why i don’t want to be near opus anymore.

King Peleus had found out because of that letter, he was… not surprised he was overjoyed to know that Achilles and I are betrothed, he had a talk with us both alone, I felt anxious over it.

“ Do not worry yourselves with it.” he had uttered as he placed a hand on his son’s hair, I nodded to his words, Peleus had always been a humble man, he had welcomed me with open arms, but I didn't want him to find out, let alone something like this to occur.

He didn't shame me, and his fondness was still there, just more apparent. 

“Your majesty..” I mumbled with my head downwards as if I was bowing to him.

“No more of that Patroclus,” he said lifting my face to look at him.

“ I am still sorry for.. Causing disturbance.” I glanced at Achilles “ especially about this.” he shook his head and said he knew my father well enough that he would have to accept it.

Achilles let out a breath of relief, he was already going crazy with how anxious I was about it, I slightly giggled at his dramatic behavior.

“ I told you Father has it handled,” he whispered just for me to hear it. I know that, just I didn't want Peleus to treat me any differently than what he already has.

I stuck out my tongue at him and pushed his face away from me, and he dared to laugh and hold my arm to stop it. 

Peleus hummed at us both “You two really are meant to be, and here I thought your mother was losing her mind.”

Achilles' ear went up, engaged in what his father just let out, Peleus didn't elaborate to which Achilles and I shared a glance. 

When we were finally alone, private in our room he laughed out, and flanged himself onto the pallet.

“ I told you your mother had this planned,” I said, hitting his arm and laid on top of him.

“ At least she means well.”

Chapter Text

My father didn’t come to visit after that, nor have I heard anything from my family, no nothing, not even my grandmother has come to see me, it’s been so long, two years or so have passed and they have yet to even check on me,

All I can wonder is Myrto okay… she worries me, let alone taking care of a babbling baby, and how Adbrus has been doing?.. last I had heard he was with Heracles, but yet when Heracles' passing had been announced to Peleus, I had assumed he returned home.

On the contrary, Thetis has been spending more time at the palace and by extant, with me and Achilles, At first I was nervous but she giggled when Achilles told her that he knew she set us up. 

But to both mine and Achilles' surprise, Polydora had shown up, with her husband in tow, and including her son.

His name was Menesthius, he was younger then Achilles by two or so years, he was a small child, with golden locks much like his Mother, whose face is fragile and soft, her eyebrows shaped as if she was always saddened by an occurrence, she was beautiful.

“Don’t go swooning over my half-sister now.” Achilles teased, but I giggled.

 “ I am merely saying she is a beautiful woman, no harm in that.” I started politely, poking his nose as we spied on her and Borus conversing with the Guards leading them on.

“ I know but I am right here, you should be admiring me.”

I sighed and turned to look at him, side glancing at him before focusing on the couple and the boy. “You’re too jealous for your good.” Poking my head slightly out of the curtain to peek at them.

I sign out of disappointment seeing them gone, to the throne room no doubt.

“ is there a celebration?” I asked, Polydora has not visited before, That was the first time i ever seen the famed princess of phthia, the princess who fled because of her goddess step-mother, it was all gossip, all nonsense, is what i had discovered from Peleus himself, Polydora left to get married off, nothing more or nothing less.

Except for the fact that Polydora had slept with a different man.

I do not know her well enough, I do not know how that occurred, I didn’t want to invade a privacy she can’t even have.

Especially in a world where she is worth nothing to others, the only advantage she has is that she is a princess, who has authority over others, except for her husband.

Being born a woman is enough as a curse as it is, that’s why I pity her, I pity the sadness in her eyes, and the broken heart she must have.

“ Are you okay?” Achilles’ voice snapped me back to reality, I nodded as he removed my hair from my face, and I beamed at him.

“ Don't worry about it,” I reassured him placing my hand on his chest, his eyebrows arched back in surprise but he smiled back at me as I pecked his lips.

He giggled into the small peck “Why the sudden switch up Patty?” he teased but I pouted at him “ can't I show my love for you?” I brought my face near his, stroking our noses closer.

His slightly reddened face is his way to give up, he lets me win in silly things like this, I find it amusing of him, his nose scrunched up and ends up being a snickering mess whenever I jest with him this way.

“ You're weird.”

“ You love telling me that huh?”

Peleus finally called for both of us, the poor Slave caught us on the floor sharing a few kisses, and the slave cleared his throat and bowed down, I hurried off of Achilles and was too embarrassed to face the man.

But Achilles was annoyed but nodded and sent the slave off, who went so fast I didn't even notice him.

I cackled a little, the poor servant was not expecting to see that, nor did I think we would be interrupted, but this wasn’t the first time, the first time it occurred was pyilla who walked to get the prince to his father only to stare with shock in her eyes seeing us all over each other.

But now Achilles has to play the sweet and polite half-brother to Polydora, her husband, and his nephew.

I bid him to behave and not act recklessly, knowing how far he can get with his honesty I told him not to speak too much, but even that must’ve been a task as he can never quiet himself down.

He has always been so sociable, but to me, he appears so awkward and so weird whenever he is near someone who has more authority over him, I assume jealousy, but he is standoffish and is never around crowds unless they are beneath him. 

It might seem cruel on his part to play the foster boys as others who are beneath him, but that’s how Kings want their sons to feel, to be prideful, and greedy for praises and poems and for their deeds to be sung for centuries.

Yet it is more vicious to let a boy believe such a fate, to die young, and be a hero, or live long, and die with no poems to keep your legacy on.

 Such harsh things never happen to mere boys as they can die young and live happily and they wouldn't be remembered.

I think… that's how I want my death to be, a peaceful encounter that only a mortal can feel.

“ This is my dear Polydora.” Peleus finally introduced us, I bowed down before her to be more polite, Achilles however did not, he avoided her gaze, while she nodded at me and subtly looked uncomfortable.

“ It is a pleasure to meet you.” I said she snapped her head back to me and her lips arched into a small smile, but a small little smile “My name is Patroclus, your highness.” 

Borus, her husband beamed, he was glad to be here, Menesthius was quiet, he appeared annoyed but he grinned when Peleus ruffled the boy’s hair.

The boy giggled at his grandfather, I can smell Polydora’s anxiety being through the roof when she spotted Achilles staring at her.

My eyebrows raised in surprise and I glimpsed at Achilles. Never once had I seen anyone look at him this way, My curiosity piqued at it, I nudged him and he sighed and tried to be polite while welcoming her.

The poor woman looked lost, staring at her cup and sitting on a chair next to her husband, who never stops talking, the complete opposite of her and her son, she was a beautiful young woman, far young but she was older then my sister, Her husband is of her age, I wouldn't call him handsome, but he is an honest pious man, who honors the gods greatly.

“Your Highness? Are you enjoying your meal?” I asked as I sat right in front of her, she raised her head to examine the voice, and I smiled politely at her.

Her voice was so hushed, as if she whispered “ yes, it is lovely.” her eyes peered under her eyelashes.

She was timid, her face up close made her look older and the makeup only highlighted her jawline, and yet she appeared soft.

“ Why are you next to him?” I heard her whisper only for me to hear, I was still for a second, my eyes narrowed in barely contained surprise and flinching from the Direct question  “You look.. delicate to be near him.” She sipped her drink, her eyes locked onto mine.

Maybe I was wrong, she wasn’t an exact face of innocence and quietness, that was just an act, her voice was naturally hushed, and that low.

“I do not understand—-“

“ you will understand soon enough.” she huffed out, glancing away, I was stunned to speak and only leaned back into my chair, playing with my fair share of food.

but Borus turned to Peleus “ say what festival is being held?” i looked at Peleus too, i didn’t know this, and if so, maybe that’s why Polydora came all this way to phthia.

“ The marriage of Zeus and Hera,” he stated.

Then Peleus turned his head towards his son, “ I expect you and Patroclus to participate.” It was not a request, it was an order, but it only brought me more questions, as I placed the soup filled spoon in my mouth and tasted it. 

Achilles peeked at me, even though he was confused, I shrugged my shoulders and nudged him to eat, to which he snickered and went back to dine.

The food was always amazing, and wonderful.

I can still see Polydora's gaze on me, interested? Maybe, I tried to talk to her more.

“ The Festival must be a wonderful occasion.” I started with an innocent face and a polite gesture, she looked at me, not turning her head and hummed in indulgences.

“ The only downside of it is reenacting the ravishment of Queen Hera.” 

My mouth ran dry with bewilderment, my chest tightened in anxiety and my eyes drifted through the room to find Achilles. 

 Her expression stayed the same toying with her drink “ such shame really, festivals and celebrations are truly immaculate.” she added, not surprised not feeling bewildered by such crude acts.

“Is—-is it done privately?” I asked out of shame, I was nervous.

“ Sometimes yes, that’s what we do here, done privately, but bloody sheets are proof of it.” She finally turned her head and looked at me “ but of course.. my half brother is a prince and is of age now, he has to honor the god and goddess.”

“ you too.” she added, leaving me baffled, she only keeps on saying things that leaves me lost for words, and I stood there, taking the whole thought in.

I gulped down my drink while feeling sickness in my stomach. I do not know how to handle Polydora, she is too honest, too unpredictable with her words.

I still kept trying to converse with her but even that was uncomfortable silence while I spoke to her, she still seems too unbothered to even bare listening and just hums to every word i say, so i stopped, out of exhaustion.

“ I don't know how to deal with your sister,” I whispered to Achilles, and he nodded to my words.

“She always has been like that.” he stated his eyes glancing towards her “ she has some… unresolved issues, she lost her mother at a young age.”

“How?” I asked, interested in what truly happened to her.

“ suicide.” he sipped on his drink “I know she never liked me not because she was afraid but I can smell it off of her, she hated me, and yet she still played nice.”

I gazed at him more, my eyes tingling with sadness for her, she lost someone so important in her life, witnessing that must have been a horrific accident.

“ There's gotta be a reason.” he bit his bottom lip, nervous, I only urged him by placing my hand on his and softly circling on his hand with my thumb.

“ My mother made her afraid.”

So it was true I thought “ My mother terrified her when she saw her being annoyed by my cries, to which my mother didn't take it well… that's what made Polydora so weary of me.” 

“ It isn't your fault.” I expressed putting my head on his shoulder, he leaned back and placed his on mine, and he was fatigued from his acting and pandering to her and her husband, I softly held his hand and caressed it, intertwining our fingers together.

His eyes were focused on me this time, a small smile graced his face to which I returned it “ I love you.” he whispered in my ear, only for me to know, only for me to hear.

When the festival occurred the next day, I was anxious. I was not aware of Achilles' knowledge of what we had to do, and it did make me feel shy to even tell him.

but i woke up with his side bare, and not in the warm smell of salt like always, he left early, the only time he ever did it was when he avoids me, but not this time, i saw the arched door moving.

“ Ah, you're awake.” He said and sighed, he went to me and hugged me close, his clothes were a purple cloth and it appeared warm and new, and his neck with a gold necklace, and the same Seashell one from years ago.

i smiled and hummed, bringing my face close to his for a peck, in which he bid me one a soft and quick one.

“ Come on, you got to dress up for the festival too.” he muttered breaking the kiss in which I nodded and sighed.

In the festival, the palace was decorated beautifully, flowers all over, beautiful glittered cloths, and the servants themselves appearing proud of it, i smiled, seeing the beauty in it, i was dressed in a fresh green tunic, showing my thighs, my hair wrapped in flowers and my hands and ankles with bronze jewelry.

And most of all a bronze hoop earrings, a heirloom as he had told me when he gifted it to me under a night of our shared bed tangled down and messy from our bare bodies,

He had told me it highlights my green eyes, that's what he told me.

I shuddered as I spotted polydora, wearing a white dress, and a colored veil covering her neck and bits of her head, with red dots on her cheeks and forehead, the makeup for our time was that, white-face, red lipstick and highlights for her eyes.

That’s how women wear their makeup, appearing like a delightful doll.

She did spot me too, her face unweavering, unchanging and came closer and sat down near me, awkward silence engulfs us.

“ You're dressed appropriately.” Her hushed voice comments “But…” she inspects me “ you should be wearing white.” She inclined her head towards my green tunic, I frowned at her.

“ why?.” I asked her loud and clear and her red lips slightly arched into a small smile “ so that your curves can appear, I thought that’s obvious.”

i looked away, it was inappropriate for her to comment about my body, but she appears unphased, of course she was, her eyes recking over my body “ take my word of advice, your breasts are almost showing, bind it with bandages, that’s all i can give you for now.” and then she got up and left to talk to a servant girl.

I listened to her, I changed and wrapped my chest with bandages, it didn’t hurt, but I felt good seeing my body like a boy, how it was meant to be.

The night of celebration ensued, the Palace hosted the noble man of Pthia, his court drinking away in their place, flirting with the slave girls, the dancers who came to entertain.

Thetis herself came to Enlighten the Festival, her presence makes the noble man behave under the gaze of the queen goddess gracing mortals with her eyes and her delightful face.

her eyes was on me and Achilles, like always bidding us to enjoy ourselves to the fullest, i didn’t truly understand what she meant, i would know soon enough.

“ Patroclus, you look lovely with the heirlooms.” she commented placing her hand on my chin lifting it to view the heart necklace on my neck “It suits you.” 

I blushed out of shyness from her compliments “You should wear makeup, no worry for that now… that would be for later.” She smiled gently, placing her hand on my hair softly soothing the curls that tangled in my hair, Achilles only stared next to me, with a grin.

Polydora eyes gazed onto Thetis’ face, she appeared afraid, clinging to her cup, with her husband holding her hand, their finger interlocked, in comfort.

It was a small gesture of affection but a lovely one.

Thetis sent me away, only to be pulled aside by Tryo, and Otonia, who held cosmetics, and a small veil.

“ what.. Is that for?.” My nose scrunched up in confusion, they shared a glance and they looked a bit disarray, a mess they look, and tiredness.

“ Thetis requested for this.” they replied, I nodded, my eyebrows arched back in puzzlement, but I still sat as they brushed my face with eyeshadow, and placed dots on my face, the same makeup brides wear.

My lips tingle with embarrassment, as Otonia placed me in my room, bare, with only a vile.

“This is strange?” this time my embarrassment was shown “ I don't get it.”

“You know how marriages go?” Otonia's voice rang out, her hair brightened with the glow of the moon. “Here, it's usually done in this festival, the bride and the groom were to consummate their marriage.” She sat and left in a hurry, left me in a room, I lay down, annoyed and irritated.

Such things were to be private and shouldn't be ordered to do, but I waited, and waited for him to come.

He had arrived.

Chapter Text

His mouth was agape, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Oh...” he muttered, placed his hand on his face, and closed the door in a hurry. I was silent, covering my face, too, with the veil.

My thighs pressed against one another, my feet dangling over the floor “I'm sorry..” I whispered, “Your mother ordered this.” 

“ Of course she did,” he mumbled embarrassed, his hair all messed up and his bandana barely held on.

I giggled at him, “She means well.” I told him, slowly removing the veil from my face. He stared and slowly walked up to our shared bed, to which I flushed at him even more.

I felt like a sacrifice for him to take, a bare body waiting for the monster to take the willing sacrifice away.

His breath was warm on my face. He held my hands in his palms and brought them closer to his lips. “You're breathtaking under Selen’s ray.” Poetic expressions escaped his mouth and lips.

I moved slightly for him to sit next to me, the covering fully leaving my body, soft and petite breasts pressing against his chest, soft kisses shared between us, he set his hand on my thighs, softly stroking and caressing my hips.

His lips tagging on mine, softly pushed against one another, I held on to his hair, tagging the bandana off to free his long luscious hair that drops over his shoulder and back.

My hand gently moved to his back, touching his hair and tracing his muscles with my fingers, I heard him groan into our kiss, and his lips moved to my neck, soft bites and kisses.

“Eager aren't you?” I bit my lip beaming at his need, which he displayed with his hands all over me, I moaned as I felt his sharp teeth on my collarbone.

“ Do you want it?” his voice raspy still clinging to my body like I was his one and only, someone to pray to.

“ Yes!” I urged shyly, I wrapped my leg around his hips, his crotch pressing against mine, his hard shaft pressing against my bare womanhood.

I gasped at the feeling, he was excited I could tell, I was still nervous but I urged him on by lifting my head so he could reach my neck easier.

In response he bit down on my shoulder, causing it to dribble soft blood, mortal blood slightly.

To which he licked it off, I whimpered at his tongue consuming it as it was sweet wine interlacing off of me.

I pulled on his clothes, trying to tug them off. He chuckled, wiping away the small blood off his chin, he looked beautiful, breathtaking just like the first time I'd seen him like this.

He dragged the hem of his purple garment and lifted it and threw it on the ground, but I was impatient. I tagged on his tunic, leaving it on our bed as I inspected his body once again.

He had grown slightly, his body was more defined, his chest still soft and small, his stomach was more defined as training got harder with Chiron, and he was slim, he had always been slim, the trail leading to his manhood.

I admired his beauty in front of me, his face, his eyes, filled with lust. I grasped his hands, placing them on my breasts, his breath hitched in his throat, and stroked them, his finger massaged my nipple.

His hands left my chest, arching in stimulation.

He hummed as he kissed down my abdomen, squeezing my hips, as he reached my womanhood.

We had done this before, where he softly kissed my pussy, before licking his finger and parting the folds, I whimpered in response and clasped my mouth with a hand, covering the noises coming out of my mouth.

I jolted back at the warm tongue lapping at my folds, his arms holding my legs up to taste the sweet nectar.

I tangled my hand in his hair, holding onto it as his tongue skillfully moved, then it engulfed me, his tongue slithered inside and I wailed out of pleasure at his skill.

My hand tightened on his hair, small golden streaks stuck out of my grasp.

He kept on and on pleasuring me with his tongue, to where small droplets of tears rolled out “ Achilles” I cried out “ Ah— Achilles!.” like a prayer leaving my tongue.

I felt my stomach tighten and I whimpered out his name growing faster each time I sobbed out his name. 

When my stomach finally relaxed I let out an echo of breath, As he stood up from his place with bits of my nectar in his hand, he brought it to his mouth and swallowed it with a smirk.

I huffed and flustered from what occurred but I spread my legs for him to crawl right in between them, his hard cock was proof of his need and his craving for it.

Craving for it like a fruit for him to put his teeth in and drag out its flesh and juices for his desire.

He lifted my legs to where my knees nearly reached my breasts.

“Please Achilles…" I groan at his tip touching my fold, teasing it.

“Please what? I want to hear you say it.” 

“Please take me.” I blurted out, sweaty looking like a mess with the makeup all disarrayed from our kisses, while he still looked so beautiful despite it all, his godlike handsome face untainted by our passion.

He only laughed, enjoying the pathetic desire I craved from him “ louder.” he urged, and I listened like a sacrifice to his lord. 

He appeared satisfied with me, his smile like a feral creature, but I still thought he was beautiful even when he was so close to taking my innocence away, for him to fully claim me.

He pushed in slowly, and I shrieked out of discomfort” Ah!!—”, blood seeped out of me, as he penetrated my hymen, tearing it, I groaned with tears in my eyes and my hands tightened on his shoulders.

He whispered praise in my ear as he settled himself fully in me, I kept panting and trying to get used to the hard shaft inside that was filling me and yet it felt like a spear was thrusted in.

He appears unbothered by the blood, I whispered “Keep going.” 

“ You're still hurting love, give it some time.” he sucked a mark on my neck, love bites and kisses to calm my tensed body down, I held onto him as the pain slowly drifted to pleasure.

I urged him to move, and he listened, he pulled out and thrusted in, and I cried out in delight, my chest bouncing at every thrust he made to my body.

“My Patroclus.. My love.” he kept uttering under his breath as my eyes widened at his voice, it was raspy and grunting and loud,” Mine, your mine.. Ah—”  Selen’s ray illuminated his face and his hair, I was astounded by it.

Love emerged from my heart and I pressed our lips together. I held his face as our tongues danced in each other's throats as he kept his pace.

“Harder!—,” I say

“ faster!!—” after more and more till my words can utter no more, other than praises.

A well-timed thrust caused me to yell out his name, he gasped and his hands slowly removed themselves from my legs to my throat, tightening it, spit and salivating coming out of me. I arched my back as his clasp tightened more trying to keep me in place.

His thrust becomes harsher and harder, I took it all in with barely noticeable moans and gasps at every hit of his hips against me, I feel my eyeliner drop with my tears, my lips mixed with reds all messed over my face.

“ My Patroclus.. look at yourself.” He let out a contained grunt, a grin gracing his lips.

“Ah.. You look pitiful, like a whore.” He started tightening his grip even more, causing me to gasp at his words and his degrading voice

 “A lowly whore, that’s what you look like, a slut, minx.” He kept on and on with his words.

“ That's what you are? Aren’t you? Sent by the gods themselves to lure me, to entice me isn't that right my sweet siren?” His grip left my neck finally leaving marks that leave no imagination to what he had done to me, my eyes hazy with devotion and desire made me smile in return for his words, the cruel names, his hands grasping down to my chest.

He pressed his hand against my nipples, this time he brushed it, and stroked it more, urgent and hard causing me to make more sounds, the bliss coursing through me, made me feel as if my body was nothing but a covetousness to finally be able to burn through my sweaty flesh.

He arched his back downwards, his mouth against my nipple and he placed it in his mouth, sucking on it, his tongue swirling around it “ Uh!— Please more, please!” I moaned out in a haze.

I felt like a forbidden fruit to him, his words stirred out of nowhere, his greed, his lust had been kept inside of him, never to sprout out, until I urged it, I tagged at it, I yanked it out and made a disastrous chaos of his scrambled and raw appetites.

Like a fruit pinched out of its juice, is what my body felt like clutched for his needs.

It’s filthy, it’s sickening and it’s intense. That's what his devotion was, his love, Praise is all he ever knew, so to him I was his Siren, and the one who came to ruin him.

I can feel myself growing closer, and I can tell he was too, he looked so lustful, his mouth still with drool and his face sweaty with effort.

It all happened in such a blur, but I let out my nectar huffing and moaning with tears still in my eyes, soon after he came inside of me, implanting his claim on me fully.

He collapsed on me, sweaty and tired from our lust, I giggled at him tired, I wrapped my arms and legs around him, falling to slumber, unaware and unbothered by his heavy body against mine.

I was the first to wake up this time, I could hear his snoring, his arms wrapped around my waist, still on top of me, cuddling up to me.

My eyes felt puffy, my throat slightly tingled, and my body felt so sore from our passion, to which I sighed and clung to him and placed a small peck on his forehead, and shook him gently.

He groaned and tightened his hold on me to where I sighed in disappointment “ get up you big baby.” I whined out.

“ I don’t want to…just lie like this for a few…” he went back to his snoring before finishing his words to which I shook my head and smiled at his silliness.

We lay there longer basking under Helios’ glowing rays glowing through our window, and I stared back at what occurred that night. It was daunting but I don’t feel disgusted by it, our love shone through, and so did our desires.

I still think, if it were any way different, would it have been out of love? Or just out of lust, in another universe mayhaps? Where his eyes only reflected monstrous hunger and gluttony with pride.

No, of course not, Achilles can never do such a thing to me. 

He finally stirred out of sleep and yawned even more rubbing his eyes, he locked eyes with me, to which I grinned at him.

“ Good morning,” I told him as I moved his hair away from his face, his face changed to that of a gentler expression, his lips opened and he moved his hands to my face, touching and his thumb traced my cheek.

“You look like a mess.” I giggled at him “You do look like I fucked you.” His crude comment surprised me.

“ You still caused this fishboy.” I stuck out my tongue at him, he still traced my face fondly and caressed it “ you're too affectionate.” I let out in satisfaction.

I poked him to get off of me, so we could go shower, but as I stood up and arched my back I could still feel my legs frail and shaky.

He chuckled, “Your body is full of hand marks.” I paused, I looked down at myself, my bare body had plenty of marks all over, hard hands on my hips, ones on my legs, and ones around my neck.

“You ruined me.” I tell him “Do you have no shame?” I teased lightly as I walked down to grab a Tunic and bandages out of the counters.

“No, not when it comes to you.” 

I was disgusted by the fact that the blood on the sheet was proof of what we had done, to Peleus and Thetis it is a dedication to the festival of yesterday, I sighed seeing how pleased they were.

Polydora wasn't, I could feel her stare on me, anger in her eyes, not out of malice towards me but pity, Borus was Awkward next to her, trying to soothe her to where she sighed and whispered something to him.

Breakfast went well, a bit too well and calm, but I can sense Achilles' obvious distaste against Borus, he never liked him as he had told me, a man so wealthy didn't deserve his sister.

To him, she might hate him, but he views her as family, and he thinks she can do much better.

He didn’t have an opinion on his nephew, he called him the identical version of his sister to which I agreed.

Polydora and I bumped into one another in the hallway, I was hoarding a few figs, peaches, and pomegranates in a small basket. One of the sweet slaves asked me if I could bring it to her and I listened.

“ You really did do it huh?” Her hushed voice still made me feel much smaller next to her. “ It's a pity really, I pity you, you do not understand that creature born by that woman.” 

Thetis of course this all goes back to her, Polydora’s hatred and anger were directed at the goddess.

“ I think you are being unreasonable.” I simply utter, I was angry, Thetis has been nothing but generous, gentle, and honest with her intentions, Thetis wasn’t cruel, she is a mother to a mortal that she knows she will lose.

“I am not.”

“You are! Don’t pretend you aren't hurting, I know how hard it must be for you to lose your mother but for that to change you is not your fault.” I shocked her to where her expression finally changed, her mouth agape, she eerily resembled Peleus so much.

“But it isn’t an excuse to blame a goddess who was not involved.”

“You understand nothing, none of you do, she will be your doom, mark my words, soon enough you will see when your belly swells with a monstrous creature.” She shoved me to the hard ground causing me to drop the basket with the fruits rolling down, and in the process, I scratched my knee.

But her eyes narrowed at her behavior “You are wrong.” I expressed bluntly, I felt pitiful for her, empathy for her issues.

“ I'm sorry.” Tears slid down her face “ I didn't mean to do this.” Her face radiated with guilt, before running away from me, I stared at her and I could tell she was shaking. 

I signed in dismay for her, She was going through enough stress as it is and I feel understanding of her.

I picked up the discarded fruits and hummed a tune as I did, placing the fresh food back in the basket, and continued to my destination.

The sweet old slave woman was waiting patiently for me, her black hair with white streaks because of age  arched back into a ponytail, and her eyes were brown as the dirt, She smiled and bowed her head down “Thank you, young master.” 

I shake my head “Just call me Patroclus.” I beamed at her “ consider me a friend instead.” 

To which her face was full of amazement before she lit up with happiness, I bid her goodbye, but my mind kept wandering off to what Polydora said, my hands drifting onto my skinny stomach.

 When your belly swells with a monstrous creature the words that kept playing in my head, I feel disgusted by that idea, a small creature growing inside, feeding on me only to grow up to resent me.

No, I don't think I can bear it, to handle such filth, such disgrace as my sister had.

Maybe if I were older? My mind would change but I snapped out of these thoughts as cold hands, gentle and clawed against my neck holding it gently as if I were a wounded deer.

“Give it a chance, and I will endow you.” No this was not Thetis, nor Aigina, I felt goosebumps as my hair stood on its own, my eyes glanced at the hands, the hands filled with jewelry.

But I blinked and it was gone, the presence left as soon as possible, I breathed out and in, trying to calm myself before fleeing to my room.

Chapter Text

Sickness came to me in the early mornings and sometimes in the evenings. I felt exhausted under the prying eyes of Polydora and Chiron.

It was becoming more apparent that Polydora was staying. She doesn’t seem to want to go to Nor Dorus, so I assumed that Peleus asked her to stay here again as he missed his darling daughter.

She ignored me, even if it was slightly nerve-wracking. Her presence alone makes me irritated, She has been so quiet, I can’t stay mad at her forever but she makes me irritated, especially her words about Thetis and Achilles.

Yet Peleus pushed me to sit next to her today, I recked of sickness but I obeyed him, but Polydora’s nose scrunched up at me, I didn't care, I hardly even touched the food.

Achilles' worried eyes were on me, and he sat next to Dorus who kept talking to him about other heroes. He placed food on my plate urging me to eat, but I couldn't, instead, I picked one of the pomegranates to pick on and eat.

“ You two are quite alike,” Borus said looking at both me and Polydora, to which Polydora sighed, I nodded my head with a fake smile.

“They are.” Peleus laughed, drinking his full of early morning milk.

“Mother is cooler,” Menesthius said his mouth was full of food lacking manners, so that Polydora for the first time softly smiled at him, I suppose even the least emotional person can still express gentle nature.

“ Menesthius don't talk while your mouth is full”  she hushed, removing fragments of rice off his face.

I scoffed to myself, if she can be so sweet, why is she targeting me, always saying things to me like I was a mere servant?

She even treats the others well, it is just I, Achilles, and Thetis who earned her bitterness.

Chiron expressed displeasure at me, I didn't know why nor did he say but I felt ashamed as if I did something wrong, I know I looked sickening, my hair a cluttered chaos, my eyes tired of the early mornings before Helios raised, and my mouth ached with a vomiting smell, that I wash off with pomegranates. 

Achilles was concerned last time I was like this because I was overwhelmed, I assured him I would be fine during our spear lessons.

I wasn't, I ended up throwing up again, on the grass and I fell clutching my mouth and stomach, Achilles dropped his spear, and went and lifted my hair away.

Nausea and disdain through me as I looked at what I had done, I felt so sick, filthy.  

“ I—” I was interrupted by Achilles picking me up.

“ Master Chrion, can I tend to him?” he said with no hesitation, Chiron scratched his beard in observing me, but he nodded his head, not uttering a word or movement. 

In our room I lay down by him in the sheets, he inspected my body, to see my temperature, but he hummed at it and looked down confused.

“ I don't understand? Your temperature is normal.” He says “Love did you eat something bad yesterday?” He asks, interlocking his hand with mine placing a small kiss on it.

“ I don’t think so..” I looked at him sadly. I don't think I even touched much food today either, my stomach was empty, filled with nothing and yet I kept emptying it out.

“ Did you bleed last month?” He asked soothing my scalp, I let out a sigh, I don't think so, but I spotted a few dark spots but that's all.

“Kind of.” 

“That’s good then, you might just be overwhelmed love, rest for now I will take care of you,” he said, he was gentler, but I couldn’t sleep, I just can’t let go of Chiron’s disappointed gaze, he knows something, he knows what is wrong and he didn’t utter it.

I admire Chiron, his honesty and his abilities, but he never fully was there for me, he never fully intended for me to become a part of his teachings, but he tried his best, his truthful nature never fully was there for me despite his many praises.

“ I think Chrion knows what’s wrong… can you ask him for me?” I asked embarrassed to do it but he nodded and he insisted I sleep and rest.

I moved a bit so he could come next to me, I needed him, his comfort and his presence, that’s all I needed.

Pyilla was concerned, she brought me along to walk down the beach by ourselves, and she brought a basket so we could collect some berries from the marketplace.

I was not focused, I kept bumping into people and I immediately apologized to them.

“ Patroclus.” Pyilla let out “ You are very unwell.” she stated picking the berries from the display as the poor salesman watched without saying anything.

“ I will be fine.” 

“No, you can’t lie this time.”

“ Pyilla please drop it, I don’t need this right now,” I told her, my voice hushed and tired, but she was just tense for me.

She stroked my back, leading me to sit down somewhere, and got me to drink pomegranate juice. She bought it even if she doesn’t have to, she knows how much I loved it.

I drank it, and the cold drink made me let out a relieved sigh. Pyilla sat next to me softly brushing my hair “You need to be more honest with me, What is the matter?”

I leaned on her, she hummed as I closed my eyes, I told her what it was, nausea, stomach aches, and emptying the food I barely touched. 

Her lips pressed thin, her eyes on me, she looked sad at me “Patroclus, is your bleeding late?” Same question again.

I nodded my head, to where she hummed again brushing my hair and urging me to continue my drink so we could leave.

“ Do you want the truth?” Pyilla held my hands as if I were a delicate doll, I nodded frantically, I was desperate for it, I needed to know, I wanted to find out.

“ Don't get disgusted but….” she stopped her eyes reeking down 

“You're with a child.”

“ What?” My lips ran dry, no, no no… I frantically thought, I didn’t want this.

“You… you’re lying right?” I let out a confused giggle at her, but her face was serious.

“ Your symptoms tell me that, Patroclus, be at ease.”

“ No! How can I be at ease?! How, Pyilla? Is it not enough that my sister was too?” I shouted.

“ I am… I am only fourteen..” I sobbed, my emotions ran like a rollercoaster, I tore at my hair, I felt disgusting, filthy, as if something as abnormal as a baby growing inside, a baby, I hated it, I hate it.

Pyilla tried to comfort me but I pushed her away “Don’t touch me!" I kept repeating it, I cursed at Polydora, her words were true, I hated her for it, why did she even bother with me?

I was still frantic as I got up and ran away from Pyilla, who yelled my name but I ran, and ran till I was far away from her, far into the forest, I didn’t care, I needed my time alone.

I panted and coughed as I held my throat, I fell on the grass, not caring anymore, My hair sprouted out around the grass, the soft ruffles of the wind against the trees, and the deer who was startled by me. I stared up at the sky.

My hands unconsciously went to my belly, small, but yet I could feel the roundness of it, the small bump, I huffed, I do not stand this, my body will change, change just to fit to care for a baby, no, a monstrous creature, that’s what it was.

Is this how myrto felt? Is this how Pasiphaë felt? Tending to her round belly knowing the monster growing inside is a monster, a human-eating monster, and yet she cared for it, even if its craving for flesh went beyond where he bit her too but she merely thinks it’s only because he was overwhelmed.

I scoffed, I don't think I can be like this, if I could I would not allow it, disgust came to my throat, at the thought.

“ If you were a monster, I would not care for you,” I uttered as if the seed in me could hear it, it would ruin me.

I stayed there holding my stomach, a hollow feeling inside my heart, and hurt. Maybe? Sadness? Anger? Disdain? I didn't know.

I do not know how long I was there, it was long enough for me to hear the call of my name, no doubt it was Achilles, but I didn’t answer back, staring at the sky like I was a decaying corpse. 

I rolled around to face the trees, There were carvings on it, I smiled slightly seeing names, on and on, but I kept thinking, was it really reasonable for me to run away as I had, away from the palace that took me in?

Away from the woman who taught me everything, away from my love and comfort.

I didn't know how he would react, or if he would be happy, I let go of that thought, no he doesn't have to know.

Borus finally found me, he huffed and sighed seeing me lying down like a wounded animal.

“There you are,” he said “ you scared all of the palace, never had I seen Achilles this frantic and wild” he chuckled a slight bit seeing me unresponsive, to which his expression changed to concern.

“ Hey, what is wrong?” he asked sitting next to me, his hand ruffled my hair, I never fully interacted with him, but I can see the gentleness in him is what won Polydora over more than his wealth.

“Something… came up.” It wasn't a lie.

“ It isn't your fault then, being overwhelmed is understandable young one,” he uttered, I barely ever knew him, not having ever interacted with me, but I can feel he sees himself in me, a young overwhelmed boy.

“ Let's get you back to your Achilles.” 

I looked at him finally scrunched up my nose and nodded, he let out his hand and I grabbed it to get up.

I walked ahead, my feet weary, I could feel it shaky from how long I've been lying there, I groaned and kept on not looking back at Borus who no doubt was behind me.

Achilles’ face was of anguish when I first saw it from afar, I felt horrible for putting him through this but I didn't care, I felt tormented the whole way.

His face bore anger and concern but his eyes widened seeing me walk to him so calmly, he ran and I was in his embrace instantly, he had always been so swift-footed, I held him close.

“ Where have you been?” he mumbled anxiously, he waited for my answer.

I didn't answer him and clung to him like a lamb to its mother. He didn’t ask any more questions but grabbed my hand and led us back through the forest to the palace.

My legs were aching but I walked through the shore, the sand through my bare feet as I left my sandals in the forest. 

The servant brought me water and food no doubt an order by Achilles, whose gaze was directed at me, not leaving not even when the servant brought the meal. 

He was angry but not at me “ Who caused you to flee like this Patroclus?”

Silence.

“ Tell me and I will make them regret it,” he said his eyes darkened, his face changed to that of irritation.

“ No! It’s fine she didn’t mean it, I got mad at her for no reason.” 

He tried to calm down but he was tense as he fed me, I assured him I could eat if I wanted to, but he shook his head, he knew I wouldn't eat unless I was forced to.

“ Do you want the truth Achilles,” I said, mouth full of food as I removed his hand away from my mouth, trying to swallow the bread.

I swallowed it and my chest tightened and my heart beat faster, scared, disoriented but all I could feel was fear, not of him but of my parents, of others.

No, I can’t tell him. 

“I… I ran away because I felt like a burden, to you, and your parents, I'm sorry.” A well-timed lie.

“ Is that the real truth?” he asked “No more secrets. You promised me that.” 

I nodded my head yes another lie, but he didn’t appear to be suspicious, this was a secret between me and the gods now.

He grabbed back the bread dipped in soup and brought it to my mouth, I opened my mouth and ate it, My eyes fluttered closed, fatigued from walking and from the unbearable heat of my tunic against my body.

He finally deemed me well-fed and placed the plate down on a table and brought the cold water to my lips, I felt refreshed after it, I could feel how my stomach ached at how much he fed me, but I let that in, all I needed was his gentle embrace and his sweet words.  

“Come here,” I mumbled reaching out for him, to

Hold me, to feel him, to sense his love, just anything to get rid of the filth I feel, of how disgusting I must look to him.

“ Get rid of my sadness Achilles.” His hot breath was on my lips as soon as I said it.

His lips mashed against mine, softly pressed like a delicate fruit, I pulled him closer, I need this kept repeating in my head.

I need this, I crave this.

His hands squeezed my hips as he rolled on top of me, drinking me up with his mouth.

I told him more, and more, I wanted more but I melted in his light gentleness on my bronze body.

Each glimmer of touch against one another made me let out sounds.

I did feel like a weak dessert in his embrace as he took me in.

I smiled as he sat next to me, I wrapped my hands around his waist after getting rid of my sorrow, I placed traces of kisses to his hip to where a mole lay.

He chuckled at me, his hand on my hair, brushing it, as I praised his body.

“ Patroclus?” 

“Hm?” I replied as I spotted a few freckles on him from the sun.

“ I have to go talk with my mother.”

I sighed and pouted, I didn't want him to leave but his mother must be waiting, her summons are not brief recently as she thinks he is growing older and by extant his years are being numbered already.

I nodded and let him go, he got up and dressed himself appropriately, before kneeling to kiss my forehead. 

I lay there once again, alone, bare, I touched the marks he left on me, a small reminder of his devotion, I couldn't help but wonder if he would forgive me for my lie, and the secret I hold. 

My hands went back to my stomach, maybe.. Maybe it wouldn't be bad, if I were pregnant, if I truly were, I hope he wouldn't be afraid.

But I will be afraid, I can already feel the exhaustion wearing down my body.

Maybe soon I will let him know.

Maybe he wouldn't leave me like my family did.

The next day I was alone, Achilles left to go with his father for an important issue, leaving me, Borus, and Polydora in the palace, Thetis was in charge for the time being.

Tyro and Otonia doted on me when I went to see them. Pyilla looked devastated but she ran to hug me when she saw me.

She wanted to apologize but I stopped her, I would have forgiven her anyway. I still feel filthy even after the love Achilles showed me, and I still feel hollow knowing I lied to him.

Tyro and Otonia were concerned for me.

“ You are far too young for it,” Tyro said, hugging me while I leaned on her. She tended to my hair, putting it in a bun to get it away from my face.

Otonia was not supportive, it was the first time I ever saw her so saddened by me and my circumstances “ You should let him know, the fact you don’t want this baby.” she voiced her truth, she wants the best for me.

Tyro defended it “They are married, this was bound to happen.” I don't agree, but I was just tired of it all, I didn't want the baby, nor do I want him to know 

“Doesn't mean it’s okay.” 

“ Otonia.” Pyilla's voice was low and harsh “If Patroclus doesn't want it, he will voice it, he doesn't need to tell the prince.” I nodded to her.

“ I don't want the baby.” Only Tyro was surprised but she nodded her head sadly at me.

“ I do not know if I can tolerate this baby, thinking of it makes me revolted.”  

“ Patroclus, why?” Pyilla asks “Why do you feel disgusted by the idea of it?” Her tone was saddened. In my way of thinking, the only one who knew was Otonia why I behaved like this.

“ I… My sister, when she came to visit.. She was pregnant.” It was years ago, and yet I still have this at the back of my mind “ my father yelled at her for it.

Tyro's hands softly soothed through my scalp, I could tell she was surprised, I was getting angry thinking about it.

“ he called her names and I.. I couldn't forget it.”

“You put yourself in her place, that's why you're disgusted and afraid of pregnancy.” Pyilla sought out and rubbed her temple “ Patroclus, do not let someone ruin your perception about something so beautiful.”

“ Your Father ruined you, not your unborn baby, he ruined your ways of thinking,” Pyila spoke firmly, I was stunned, I puffed out breaths, I was still, just thinking.

My hatred stirred out of that, I never saw my father as angry as he was during his fight and his words stabbed into me that pregnancy is… disgusting and horrible.

I nodded slowly, not uttering a word. I didn’t stand to think of my father, but it made me even more nervous.

I got up and Tyro let go of me.

“I.. I will go to Achilles.” I let out and walked out of their room. The hallway was horribly long, I spotted a bunch of servants walking around cleaning the place, the rich painted walls, I swallowed my anxiety and kept walking with my head down, dreading running into Polydora again. 

No doubt her husband told her about what’s the matter with me, I didn’t want to face her, when I spotted her with her son in the hallway I went in a different direction.

I do not want her near me, she has already tainted me as it is, Her stay here made me mad, but I didn’t voice it.

Though of course, I wasn’t expecting to run into Thetis, who sat at the open window staring at the sea, her hair blowing around her and flowing like waterfalls.

“Sweet thing,” she muttered and gestured to come closer to her.

I gulped but listened, I sat down on the wall, and I was nauseated from the words Pyilla practically drove into my head.

Your father ruined you; my father.. he.. was one of the best people I knew prior to his abandonment of me fully, he was an honest king, a man who would never hurt his children.

But I can see how horrible his thinking was, how hard he was on my sister, who was also ridiculed when she was younger.

My father was horrible, he ruined me, and he ruined Myrto.

Thetis hummed a song, soft and felt like medicine to me, it fit perfectly to me, gentle tones and sweet melodies, Every day I see her, the more Achilles resembles her, Achilles’ parents both have golden hair, but Thetis was more of a golden-redhead which Achilles inherited.

the black eyes, the golden long hair, her face shape, and her height, she was much taller then peleus, she was a Neriad, they were known for how tall they were.

“ Poor you.” she let out in a gentle tone “ I know how hard it must be for you, being mortal.” She pulled on the petals of her flower from her hair, lotus flowers.

She held it up to inspect it. “ Mortals are like flowers, soft and confusing, but muddling with immortals causes them to see mortality much differently.” She crushed the petal in her hand.

She opened her clawed hands to show it to me, the oppressed petals into different pieces “ to the point they break.”

Her sorrowful eyes locked onto mine “ I do not want you to be like this Patroclus, little pearl, you have a purpose.”

I broke down in front of the generous goddess “ What purpose do I serve if I keep hiding things?”

“ I lost my father, my mother, my sister, my brother, my grandmother.” I sobbed onto my hands, droplets running down non-stop, my hands were damp with my tears.

“ Now I am afraid Achilles will push me aside for the sake of glory. How can I serve a purpose when I will ruin his future?” 

“ It isn't your fault.” She put her claw on my face, traced along my jaw to my neck.

She knew, she knew what I was hiding, I can tell from the way her eyes glanced down at my stomach.

“ Thetis.” I let out “Did you tell him?” My eyes narrowed in anxiety and I heaved, I knew, but hearing her say it would make me more scared.

“No.” she softly muttered, “ I didn't.”

Nervousness bubbled inside me, to the point I threw up, my mouth holding it as I did.

Thetis looked ahead of me, seeing Achilles standing there, drenched with sweat,and his hair curving against his skin, his eyes moving from his kneeling mother to me on the floor, emptying all of my stress out on the floor.  

My eyes widened, and I heaved before telling him

“ I'm pregnant.” with a sob.

Chapter Text

I felt sick to my stomach when I was grabbed back into our room, Achilles paced around the space, I lightly rubbed my hand, I looked down at my feet, and anxiety and terror at my temples.

“ Why did you lie to me?” he asked, anger in his tone, and pulled on his hair in frustration.

I stayed quiet, not uttering a word.

“ Tell me! You promised no more secrets and all you have been doing is lying, and lying.” he cried out “ Tell me the reason Patroclus.”

It was a demand, not a question. Nervousness tugged at my stomach. I held myself, soft sobbing from me, but I finally answered, “ I was afraid. I'm sorry.” 

I wiped away my tears. “ I didn't want to burden you with a thing I did not want.” He looked at me with confusion on his face. “And that is?”

“ I don't want this child.” I answered with truthfulness “ I do not want it, do you?” I scrunched my nose up, I don't know his answer but children right now aren't needed, not even wanted, especially when he is a warrior.

“ Do you want this baby Achilles!?.” I yelled again after the silence from him.

“ … I do, I do want this baby.” My eyes widened at him, shocked at his decision, I stayed silent, my mouth dry from the amount of fear I felt, but now I looked at him confused, conflicted.

“ Why?” I asked tugging on my hair “ Why? Why?? Why do you want this baby?” I was so frustrated, I didn't know what to think, my body would morph, and change and he wants that.

“ They are made from our love, Patroclus please… give it a chance.” he gently uttered, placing his hands on my face, hugging me closer as if it would calm me down, stress wasn’t good for me at this moment.

“ Achilles.” I cried out in his chest “What do we even do if we keep it?” I hit his chest, in a sobbing mess, dampening his tunic with tears.

“ We try to be good parents, we can have nurses to take care of them too,” he said, but even he was afraid and tense that I would explode at him again, and yell at him more but I was exhausted from it.

From the sobbing, from the yelling and frustration, I hugged him weakly, not wanting to talk anymore about it, thinking of it alone makes me stressed.

“ I'm sorry,” I spoke out to him, he hummed at my words “ I am, I shattered our promise, I wouldn't do it again.”

He rubbed my back and muttered sweet praises but I didn't want to hear anything anymore, I needed more time.

“ I forgive you love.” he kissed my forehead to seal his words.

I tried to be happier for his sake, he wants the baby as he made it clear by how gentle he was while caressing the barely visible bump.

I tried, I really did, I was gloomy, I hated being reminded of how this came to be, but I told him I want it to be peaceful, nobody has to know about it, just me, him, his mother, and the servant girls.

I know it wouldn't be possible when my belly grows, but I do not want Polydora to know she won, and that she was right about one thing, and that she finally sees my weakness.

But of course she noticed the signs and symptoms, she had a son of course to her she would immediately get it.

 I saw her eyes on me while I was sitting down leaning on a tree, munching on some figs Achilles picked and cleaned for me, watching Chiron teaching Achilles about surgery.

I hummed a tune, one from my childhood, my mother used to sing for me when she played the lyre, which brings me more comfort than anything else.

“So, I was right, wasn't I?” I hated that hushed voice, I didn't bother to look at her, still humming and picking on my fruit, biting hard to sprout some of the juice onto her dress.

I know I was being rude to her, but after her hurtful words towards Achilles and Thetis, I didn’t care about it.

Which annoyed her ” learn some manners” she puffed out.

“ learn to stay the fuck away from me, just cause you are Peleus’ perfect daughter doesn’t mean you have authority over me.” I frowned in anger, and even pushed her away, just like the way she had done to me, I didn’t care anymore about how she felt or winning her over.

“ I see how it is, do you think being married into this family makes you think you are untouchable?”

“Don’t take shit out of my mouth, I never said that, I hate you and I don’t want you near me, understand that,” I told her once more, I stood up finally and took the small fig basket, ending the conversation.

“No, stay, learn to behave first if that’s how you talk to your elders.” Polydora's anger rose into her face, very apparent.

“ fuck off, get an actual grip on your behavior.” I walked away in anger, walking far away to where Thetis’ domain was.

I felt more comfortable with Thetis more than anyone else, her calmness makes me feel easy and calm, especially her words that gently inscribe onto me, if Achilles isn’t around then Thetis is.

The walk was slow but I hummed the way to it, The sea was more active in the hot summer, with it roaring against the sand to which I loved. I walked in the sea foam to cool my legs down from the heat.

I watched as the water moved and then departed back, like it was flinging to hug the land that it would leave so soon, I smiled, it is something magical how nature can be

I sat down near it, I didn't care about soaking my long tunic, one that Achilles gave me, his immortality made him grow taller and now he is taller than I am, while I still barely changed.

I picked a ripe fig; inspected its flesh, poking it slightly to see how soaky it was, I scraped my teeth on it, ripping it and swallowing it. The sweet swelling taste was the best part of it.

I have been eating more, despite my sensitivity to the smells and how icky it sometimes makes me, I still eat it.

Thetis’ scent was easy to digest and easy to notice I lifted my head, my mouth full with my eyes looking at her like a small sad puppy to which she giggled.

“ glad to see you are eating well.” she uttered as she sat down in front of me.

I chuckled a little. “ I suppose, Achilles keeps forcing me to.” to which she laughed, she knows how her son can get even in such small circumstances where I don’t eat he would make sure i do.

“ He cares for you, of course, he would do that pearl.”

that nickname again, it was a cute one, but i never understood why her nicknames changed at first it was sweet thing to now pearl i think it holds a meaning to her.

“ Thetis?” she nodded her head “ do you.. want a fig?,” it wasnt what i originally asked but i held it out for her, and she was surprised but took it with a small beam in her face.

she can tell but she didn’t push it, she ate the fig slowly while I munched on mine, I felt like a monster eating it in such a manner but Thetis merely patted my head and urged me to keep eating regardless of her presence.

“ your health comes first.” she said, nothing about the baby just about mine to which i beamed at her.

I spent the morning with her, chatting and gossiping about the palace, she told me about Achilles when he was younger way before i came to the palace, it was cute to funny ones.

“ One time he chased a Crab around till the poor Crab pinched his toe, he was crying nonstop to me about that.” I laughed at it, at how cute it was, sprinting to his mother like a wounded puppy.

“ He was a cute baby.” She also informed me, I think it was to make me feel better about my pregnancy, that I do have hostility towards. I am not gonna change in just two days, after I found out.

I gently touched my belly, the small bump that held my ire for these few days. It was innocent but I can't bring myself to love it just yet.

Thetis blinked and her eyes softened at me “ you will be a good parent.” I looked at her, slowly thinking, I stroked it and circled my belly.

“Thank you… But I do not know, I'm still conflicted.”

“ I understand, Motherhood is hard,” she muttered out and placed her clawed hand on my abdomen, humming along as she did.

Achilles came along after he finished his lesson, he first greeted his mother with a bow and a kiss to her hand, and then he looked at me beaming. 

He placed a peck on my lips to which I smiled with a slight bloom on my face about how open he is now.

“ Did you eat?” he asked to which I sighed and giggled “ is the empty basket not enough proof?” I jest.

He chuckled while his mother pinched his cheek and let out some “ows!” 

“ Look at you goldfish! All grown up and dotting all over your spouse already.” She stirred him up, he was still her small son to which he took it with embarrassment on his face.

“ Don't laugh.” he pouted, his eyes on me to which I held in my giggle as a cough, seeing how sweet Thetis is to her child always made me feel better, she doesn't hide her affection and motherly love for her son.

Thetis' claws eventually let go of Achilles face, and got up from her place “ have a good evening you two.” She set firmly and her feet touched the water and her drifting hair disappeared from the view.

I smiled sadly to see her leave but she is a goddess and has duties to do with her sisters.

I hummed and held Achilles' face in my palms. “ I missed you dear.” I never called him by nicknames but he usually does, but I missed him, his lessons kept on getting longer and I feel empty without him.

He chuckled at me, setting kisses on my nose, and face, his hands on my waist, his touches with me always being gentle but I can see he is trying to feel my bump to which I grinned.

I took his hand and placed it on my belly. “ Do you like the fact that we are starting a family Achilles, Don’t be afraid to tell me the truth,” I ask him, 

His eyes softened and he spread his head on my shoulder, his palms pressed against my stomach caressing it.

“ Of course I do, I just fear what the world would be like for them.”

that was new, he usually doesn’t lament over his own destiny, to die young but as a Hero, that was a heartless fate but one where it would be his decision to make.

I nodded along to his words “ do you think it would be a boy? or a girl?.”

“It wouldn’t matter to me, all that matters is they’re healthy.” 

We stayed in the shore longer then we anticipated, looking at the sun setting down, my hair tangled on his, his arms on my back while i laid on him, humming along seeing the beauty in nature.

“ I want our baby to look like you.” I finally told him, it was vulnerable for me to say as cruel as it must be, I never wanted our baby to inherit my features, i want it to be like him.

He only smiled in return, planting his hand on my cheek “I hope he would be a mix of us instead.” I blushed a little, imagining a small babe running around bearing its father’s hair and eyes and bearing my skin, It sounds like a wonderful idea.

I still dread the idea of that baby, all I ever heard of past stories of women, mothers who lose their children young, but not now, all that matters to me is Achilles’ happiness.

summer passed and autumn came, with it the smell sensitive i bear because of pregnancy grows. i still wake at the middle of the night to empty my stomach, causing Achilles to stir up too to comfort my aching back while i do so.

It was hard, overbearing even but he worries, that’s what happens when it comes to it, I was still overwhelmed but he doted on me. We started eating meals in the privacy of our room away from prying eyes.

I told him how uncomfortable it was for me to go eat with the family every day, especially with Polydora there.

“ why?” he asked, and my emotions came bubbling up and I told him everything about what his sister said, to which he was agitated by it.

he can take words to his pride, but his mother means the world to him and insults to her name was an insult, he was angry about the words she said.

but i told him to not say anything to her “ don’t fight it, she would leave eventually, when Borus finds a suitable place here.” to which he sighed.

“ doesn't excuse the way she talks to you.” I shook my head, I didn't care enough for it, I feel as if my pregnancy made me feel more mad and not afraid of her “ don’t bother, she is in the wrong and she knows she is.” I placed my hand on my small bump.

He only sighed in disappointment “How can I let it slide and not defend your honor” he said his arms around me and his face smushed in my hair, smelling the soft fresh smell of salt in it.

“ Let it go for now, I am too bored,” I tell him honestly looking down from our window at the sea.

We used to run across the shore where he chases me as if I were a prey and he was the predator, a game of chase where he always catches me.

“ You can’t catch me!” I teased making him a face that would resemble Medusa’ to ward off the evil which was him

He giggled as his feet kept hitting the shore, chasing me around like a trophy for him.

He of course caught me and spun me around before he tripped and I fell on him and burst into laughter 

Times when i splash water on his face during the early days of our friendship, I beamed remembering our old shenanigans.

“I have an idea.” he said to which I scoffed with a smile on my face “ that means something crazy isn’t it?”

“ It would be fun.” he defended with a slight rumble of a laugh from his chest.

“ So it is a crazy one!.” I pushed his face away giggling along, his ideas usually ended with me and him getting scolded by Peleus for our misbehavior.

Last time we did one of them when we were both little, at least nine years old, he ended up flashing the poor servant his butt to which he squealed like a girl. I died of laughter when it happened, but it genuinely was not what he ever wanted to happen.

it was a harmless prank where he would steal from the servant but his tunic got caught into something causing it to rip.

I recalled that event to which he covered his face because of the embarrassing memory “ you know I am trying to forget that, I couldn't look at that servant the same way for years.”

I giggled and pulled on his ear “ maybe you should’ve been more focused instead.” to which he stuck his tongue out at me “ nah i like doing my pranks with no supervision.”

“ yeahh? like the last time you pushed a guard into a river causing him to get an infection.”

“ Listen!!” he gestured his hands around “i was like ten i didn’t know that river was full of bacteria or whatever it was.”

I sighed at him, rolling my eyes at the ridiculous amount of time he did something like that only for it to end badly.

I puffed out another cackle “If our child turns out as crazy as you are, I think I might lose my mind.”

“ Come on sweet thing, you love it, admit it.” I grumbled at his use of that nickname, but i merely beamed at him and kissed him.

“ Of course I do, I love you with or without it.” 

Chapter Text

I hummed along as I tended to Achilles’ hair, parting the golden hair, with the red merging like a strike as a reminder of his immortality. His hair has always been a part I loved, but I can see how no mortal can have hair like this.

Not even Peleus's hair or Polydora’s can be like this. That’s how I know they are mortals, nothing more than normal people.

Achilles was much different in everything; his features mirrored his mother's, her golden red hair, her black eyes that glowed against the sea, and her marks on her body.

Achilles inherited everything but the marks, but now whenever I see him train, I can see small bits of an outline similar to his mother’s when using his full power.

I parted his hair and wrapped it around, making a braid for his ever-growing hair that is already reaching his hips.

I was thinking of our unborn child, how much can he truly inherit Achilles’ features if they are so rare?

“ You're thinking again,” he says, opening his eyes from his rest on my lap, he turned around wrapping his arms around my lower belly placing a small peck which melted my heart.

“ How can I not? It’s been hard not to stress about everything around.” I smoothed my hair, throwing it behind my back. It's no longer like Achilles but I was proud of its length.

“Polydora?” he asked, huffing an annoyed whiff of a breath.

I giggled at him. Polydora became a name that was resented by both of us, she kept her distance but the resentment was obvious, even her son was a lot sweeter than she was.

Her annoyance towards me only made me roll my eyes at her, she irritates me but not to the point where I judge her, she needs more space, but all of this was her doing not mine.

“No, just about our baby, I worry, I do not know what to do when I truly start showing“ I leaned against the pillow that was against the tree, Achilles insisted on it.

“ Don't worry, if it puts you at ease I'm sure Father would be happy.”

I nodded, Peleus was a good father but, it wasn't about him only, Polydora, Borus does not know of my identity, an identity that I hated, but I grew to be less hostile about.

I do embrace my femininity when I want to, but it was something that irked me mostly when it would be forced onto me.

That's why I didn't want Peleus to know, not yet at least.

“ I know Achilles, I just… want to have a peaceful one for a bit longer.” I let him know, and he nodded at my honesty “Who else knows other than Thetis?” I asked him.

“ Chiron knows.” I was not surprised about that, he was the second one to know, I think it was his immortality that granted him the power to tell so fast, same goes for Thetis.

“That’s all?” and he replied with a yes, my heart was finally at ease, I didn’t know what I would have done if anybody did.

He pressed many kisses to my abdomen which tickled, I giggled at him, his gentle nature and his voice against my stomach to utter hymns to our baby was so precious and lovely.

“You're so affectionate,” It's been a while since we were alone for this long, calm, and relaxing to ourselves, he still needed lessons, lessons that dragged on but today was a free day for us.

Despite my old ideas about my pregnancy, it has been going well, still difficult but well, I haven't done a check-up at all but I didn’t bring it up, the servant girls usually end up checking on me instead.

Achilles this time didn’t take no for an answer and insisted that Chiron check on my pregnancy, so I let it go and agreed, as embarrassing as it was sitting down and having Chiron inspect me like an animal and not someone who was very much aware.

He kept brushing off Achilles’ words as he inspected with his skillful hands against my belly to which made me feel even more shy about this.

“ so?” Finally Chiron stopped and looked at Achilles “ he is well, and so is the child, but be more careful, you need to exercise more, walk more around to make sure the baby would be born normally.” I raised my eyebrow, i didn’t really know that, i stayed in my room most of the time. 

“Ah, alright then.” 

“ But.. How long do you think you were pregnant?” his eyes were on me, scratching and stroking his beard. “I…I don't know, master, it’s been a while.” I swallowed my nervousness, and I didn't keep track of it.

Chiron shook his head, no doubt disappointed at my lack of care to do so “You have been pregnant for three summers and one autumn, are you surprised?”

“ no.” i say “ but.. I thought it’s only been two.” I sighed against my hand, how was I supposed to know that ?

He nodded his head, placed his hand on my shoulder “Make sure to rest and take it easy, you are young, and your hips are still growing, the pregnancy would be hard, do you understand that? both of us.” 

Achilles and I shared a glance and nodded our heads at him, it was nerve wrecking as it is and Achilles eyes drifted at me, worried in his temple he swallowed it down as best as he could but I can tell this made him anxious more.

I never saw him this anxious, he was usually the one to be all honest and encouraged me to calm down, this time the opposite, i didn’t know how to react but it wasn’t anything bad, just that i needed more rest and to do exercises.

An idea came to my head.

“ Master Chiron? Does cooking count as an exercise?” I asked him, he was surprised but he had a hint of a smile under his long beard “Yes, it does, but not too much” 

“ Of course,thank you master” I held my belly and bid him goodbye and grabbed Achilles’ hand and led him along with me, he was surprised but walked alongside me.

“ What was that for?” he asked me, his eyebrows arched back in confusion.

“ I got an idea, if I have to do exercises I can learn to improve my cooking skills during this, to keep myself occupied.” I shrugged “ and so you can learn too.”

To which he smiled and joked with me “ so you’re my teacher for the day?, you’re taking the mother role so seriously now.”

i giggled and told him to shut up, as we walked hand in hand to the kitchen, the poor servant girls no doubt would freak out seeing the prince but they know me.

“You fucking suck at this.” I rolled my eyes at him, seeing the burnt cake, it wasn’t horrid but it wasn't edible at all. I sat on the stool.

he had the decency to look ashamed at it, and placed it on a counter, i know he must haven’t learned anything about cooking from chiron.

“ It was a good try.” he defended ,i shrugged and nodded at him, I asked if he wanted to do an easier one, he nodded, i got up and arched my back cause it felt strained.

A more easier meal to prepare was crushed potatoes. I felt bad for the servants having to restock it but it was kind of funny how their eyes kept on Achilles the whole way through, scared of his presence. 

But to me he just looks like a sad, disappointed boy about his cooking skill. I found it adorable and giggled at him. I instructed him to clean it, which he did. I helped him to clean the dirt off more.

then telling him to cut the potatoes flesh off. He was focused, the first time I ever saw him this focused on something.

We hummed a melody as we cut up the potatoes, slowly this time, as the Servants went back to their work while minding us by ourselves, even if it was incredibly difficult for them.

It was an easy one to make, not too much skill but he was happy when it looked good as it crisped up and looked even better with the seasoning.

“ Much better, it does need salt,” I said eating one, and tried to feed him as well, I giggled as he was still holding on to it like a cat staring at me for the compliment.

He ate it and nodded to my words “No wonder you find this fun.” he said, i beamed at him, i never fully told him about it but it was a nice hobby for me, for a few years now.

“See? it wasn’t so bad was it?” i poked his nose with a giggle, his eyes softened and a huge smile on his face, watching me, and inspecting me, he melted as he hears my giggle that rumbled through. 

i stopped and flushed at him “ don’t look at me like that, we are with servants.” I whispered for him to hear, glancing at them, such a display of affection in public is frowned upon. 

“They don’t matter.” he says “ your laughter and happiness do to me.” 

After we ate the meal, we left to go back to our room only for us to bump into Menesthius, the boy was clearly having fun around, my eyes widened as I noticed Polydora chasing after him with a smile.

I moved out of the way and hid behind Achilles to shield me, Menesthius pulled on Achilles' tunic “ Fishy help me hide!” The small nickname was cute to me, and Achilles was surprised and let out a confused laugh.

Polydora stopped as she reached us, Menesthius didn’t though and hid right behind me instead, he was a polite boy but that surprised me.

“ Menesthius come.” she hushed out “ Achilles and… Patty are busy.”

My eyes scrunched up in anger at not even using my correct name so I messed with her instead 

“We aren't, Menesthius?” I bend down to him “do you want to play with me and Fishy?” I let out my hand to him but Polydora slapped it away.

“ No thank you, Our game was much better right sweetie?” Polydora’s smile was on edge, Menesthius’ eyes drifted from his mother to mine.

he wouldn’t choose me, of course not when it comes to his mother, i was messing with her and trying to make her mad on purpose, it was rude of me, i can’t lie it felt satisfying.

But I was surprised by his smile “ No thanks, Patty! I will play with Mama.”

“ Have fun then.” I poked his nose and stood up, Achilles eyes were on Polydora, threatening? maybe but she was already scared of him and so she tried to appear fine under his gaze.

I grabbed Achilles’ hand and rubbed my thumb over his hand.

Polydora’s gaze was on me, her Eyes lingered down and she scoffed before Menesthius ran and she followed after.

Achilles was annoyed, his nose scrunched up, and his brows frowning, I sighed and tried to lighten it up. “ That was weird huh?”

“ Did you see the way she looked at you??” So he really was mad about it, his eyes darkened “ Who does she think she is?” he scoffed, i tried to calm him down and held his hands in my palms.

“ Calm down, anger isn’t good for you.”

“ Patroclus.” he says “ my anger is justified.”

“ I know, how do you think I feel knowing she is still here? Achilles she is the premier reason I don't want my pregnancy to be known to Peleus.” I told him honestly, opening the wound deeper. I was annoyed too but she was having fun with her son to which we interrupted her unintentionally.

“She has caused enough harm that’s why she is more distant than usual, she learned her place,” I told him “ and I even told her to fuck off, we will be fine.”

i was still annoyed regardless it was a good afternoon and i am not letting her ruin our time together, i dragged him along, to find something to do.

Then it came to me.

I was never taught the Lyre but I knew the Pride he has in his talent. We went to our room, the walk wasn’t long as his room was near the servants’ quarters just in case he needed something he could order them to bring it.

I hummed as I searched in the chest, discarded letters and old hymns, and reached for his beautiful glittering Lyre that I adored.

“ Will you play for us?” I asked him, handing him the lyre, and sat at the head of the bed.

“ us?” he raised his eyebrows, I redden. I said it out of instinct that I didn't realize “ me and… our baby.”

it must have been the answer he wanted, he flashed me a grin, seeing i am already warming up to the idea of our child.

i admit, i hadn’t been saying many sweet things about it, it was hatred words one after the other to which Achilles always appeared grievous and hurt but I always apologized for the words I said. 

I was clouded by my grief and pain and I had not noticed, his distress for our baby that he wanted to keep, his sorrow for me too, but there is no time for the painful past.

His fingers pulled on the string erupting a delicate sound of harmony along his song, I wrapped my arms around his waist and my head on his shoulder, hearing the melody loosen up my stress. 

I hummed along too, unconsciously almost, lost to my thoughts and my weariness from today,it wasn't anything stressful or taxing, I felt refreshed.

I think I ended up sleeping on him, my eyes fluttered closed as I clung to him in my drowsy state.

When i woke, i was wrapped in a blanket with my clothes off of me, i felt so much refreshed and relaxed, it was only me in the bed, no doubt Achilles was with his father, eating dinner.

I didn't want to eat either way and just stared out of the window at Selen’s moon. The high moon over the ocean looked beautiful, lovely, I stared and hummed, I was covered with the blanket so if anyone walked up they wouldn’t notice my bare body but it was something so peaceful.

It was a small thing but I placed my hand on my stomach. “ One day you will look at the same view when you are here.” I mumbled to myself, something sweet and warm unlike the hateful filled words I used to say.

It wasn't a big swell, it wasn't too noticeable but I do feel a strong need to protect it, even if it was difficult for me to understand.

I chuckled at my pathetic vision, it was ridiculous of me to think I would ever hate my child, but I still don't feel ready.

“ I feel so sick of this.” I say to myself “ I can't keep up with this act my child, I'm sorry” all emotions kept mumbling up “ im hurt, and I always hurt you with these words, when it wasn't your fault.” words weren't about me, it was as if I was talking to my baby.

If all rippled up inside me, emotions after another, that's why I hated being alone, without Achilles near.

I did tear up, staring at the moon, and started praying to the goddess of Olympus to make it easy and tolerable with weeping, sealing my prayer true. 

“ I will try to be a good mother to you, even if it harms me.” A seal of promise, that I will keep through my pain.

I wondered if my mother was like this too when she had Myrto, or if she handled it just perfectly, to show her strength but… I don't think so, she always tries to be strong but she is always emotional.

But now I see why, she was emotional because she cares and loved her children, that's why she weeped when I was sent away.

Because she knew she wouldn't ever see me again.

Does Father care anymore? But I shut that down, he used to, but now I can see how much shame he abhors to have Children who would never achieve glory and honor by spreading their legs.

But for the first time ever, I pushed their ideals and expectations away, I don't want my child to feel like this too.

I smiled a slight bit, Achilles would be a wonderful Father, dotting even, I can see how fast he is adjusting to it.

It was something so precious to me, cherry was what Thetis called them, it was what I called them too, cherry so tiny and so small and yet so loved.

I waited for Achilles to return, while I sang a tune just for us both.

Chapter Text

My body felt strange, my breast felt tender and sensitive to the cloth against it, my body hated the warmth of it, always desiring to be bare but so it was very embarrassing to do so in front of him, even if he always complimented my body despite the changes.

My belly grew bigger, not too much but it was a noticeable swell.

I kept on exercising and it made me feel better and refreshed after a long day.

But of course, I still felt fatigued by the swell, but it made me smile. It's the gentle grace of my hand on my stomach whenever I sleep on the bed. Sometimes it is Achilles’ palms against it when I sleep much earlier.

I had grown fond of it, our small Cherry growing and being nurtured, I even felt quick and small movments that made both me and Achilles delighted.

I took weaving as a hobby, it was a small one, it isn’t too hard nor complicated, small little horse toys for our child, fish ones, and a cute little octopus, I thought it was a fitting one.

Otonia taught me how to weave, I spend the time with her and the other girls, away from the eyes of Peleus and his court, but in now time a servant would tell him about my circumstances.

I hummed as I parted the wool over cutting the small thin line to finish it, i smiled at the result, it wasn’t anything extraordinary, a small bandna i made for myself to keep my long hair aside, as it keeps itching against my face.

“ You are good at this.” Otonia complimented her eyes lingering on my hands “ I've seen women in opus weave before.” My old kingdom was nothing like Phthia, women were allowed in the court, allowed to own houses without a need of a male, it was the reason why foreign women wanted to live there, but it wasn’t anything truly amazing.

Opus still bears the same beliefs, women were to stay in their homes till they wed and learn to be wives for their future husbands, it was saddening.

I grabbed the bandana and lifted my hair and wrapped it with it, keeping it secure and away to and I let out a breath of relief.

“ I can see your hair keeping you occupied.” Otonia laughed,  “ is it hard?” she then questioned her sincere eyes to which i stared at her before chuckling “ my hair or the pregnancy?” 

Otonia laughed once more covering her mouth “ the pregnancy of course! you do realize the baby is an heir to the throne after his father.”

I paused, of course I forgot that, I groaned at it, the idea of it was already hard enough for me but if it was a girl, she wouldn’t be an heir to which irked me bit i nodded to her.

“ It's going fine, exhausting but okay, Achilles is happily taking care of me anyway.” I chuckled thinking of how excited he is about it, he brings me food, certain cravings I was having, like garlic, tea, peaches, the things I know he loves, are what I craved

I remember joking with him about it too.

“ That's how I know this is your baby, All I want to eat now is peaches, I blame you for this.” I joked about biting down on a peach like a starving dog.

He laughed and smiled at me “ I will take that blame with pride.” he said, i responded by throwing a peach at his face.

i ended up getting tickled nonstop by him after, it was fun to be with him, not one day will it ever get boring.

“ I would have to get going.” I tell Otonia, her eyebrows arched back but nodded her head “ why? He is still busy right? Spend more time in here away from anyone’s eyes.”

I assure her with a hug, before letting go, I can see why she's like this, she was the first to express her distaste towards my pregnancy.

I held my stomach as I walked, it wasn’t anything too extreme, I walked slowly strolling down to my room, i do wonder where he is right now, when i woke he was gone, i asked a servant and they told me Peleus called for him.

To my surprise i did see him sitting on our bed his hands through his hair, he looked annoyed his eyebrows frowned, he looked nothing like he usually does, his beautiful gentle smile with his dimples, his eyes softening, but not this time, when he turned to look at me, he went up to me and hugged me closer.

He inhaled my smell, a mixture of lilies and honey, a new perfume that Thetis herself gave to me.

“ What's wrong?” I asked my hand to go up his back, stroking it and rocking him against me, and he exhaled.

“ What isn't?” His tone shocked me. “ Father found out because of her.” he rolled that with anger in his voice, his hold tightened on me, i soothed him by pressing my hand through his hair.

“ he was bound to find out Achilles,” i tell him “ is he angry?” That's what I'm worried about, nothing about what Polydora said, only what Peleus thinks, his opinion matters to me more, as he was the one who keeps me here.

“ Joyful I suppose, but I got scolded for being reckless with you.”

That made me laugh “ then don’t be angry, her opinion does not matter.” I tell him, holding his face in my palms, planting a kiss on his face, but then again i do not think that’s why he was mad.

“ What did she say?” he can’t be this mad for just that, I led him to our bed, strolled around and sat him down like i was scolding him but i wanted him to calm down.

He slurred her name as he spoke “She called you a lowly exile, and how she can tell it wasn’t planned.” He captured her demeanor well

I only laughed, I was in a better mood, but her saying that is laughable, as if her son was planned either

“She is sort of right, this wasn’t planned, but that can’t be just that.”

“ she said other things… that i don’t want you to know but i assure you i handled it.”

I rolled my eyes, handled it no doubt by yelling at his older sister, he isn’t that bright when it comes to his wrath, it always causes him to act irrationally, even tiny insults as jokes get him irritated.

I planted kisses along his jaw to soothe him out, make him less aggravated by it, if I am not bothered then he shouldn't be.

He ended up chuckling slightly “Becoming a dotting wife huh?” I pouted and pushed his face away to where he was beneath me.

His hands went to my hips and he laughed at me, I leaned down and graced him with more kisses and soft little pecks. I missed him so much. It was so vexing when he was gone, to where I had to wait and wait till he came back.

“ I love you, but I hate hearing the words that come out of others' mouths.” I know, of course I know, but I am used to the harsh words and nature of how I will be treated.

I merely held him closer giving him more room to hold my swell, his fingers crossed on it like a holy prayer, pressing and caressing it, it was worship, that’s what it felt like, especially the movement that flattered underneath his palms.

I beam at him, an expression of gentle warmth through me, seeing him interact with our still tiny baby.

He started to be peaceful and his smile one that I always treasured back on his face, his cheek reddish from the heat of long day of training away and being his father right hand at meetings already.

“ I missed having you here.” 

“ I'm always in reach for you, one word and I will be back.” I flushed at him, his hair unfolding against the bedding. 

“ I know, but I just can't bare to do that, you know I can't.” I scoff and my eyes drifted downwards, I missed our love making too, out soft looks of shyness from across the table when we ate food with his family.

Our shared time dwells shorter, but soft moments like this keep me going even for just a small amount. It brings me contentment.

He asked if I wanted to do something, but I shook my head and clung to him, wrapping my legs around him and it made him giggle, and placed soft kisses on my neck and shoulder as we stayed quiet.

the rustle of the wind against the curtains of the window, and the trees against it, it brought us both peace.

For the Time that past my swell was more visible, more obvious, it made me embarrassed seeing others stare at me as I walked down, a veil covering my identity, I walked to the temple to offer a sacrifice for a healthy childbirth to the goddess Eileithyia.

It was difficult to walk as long as I had, but Achilles was there to help me, or a more ridiculous route, carrying me out, I told him a firm no but he said if it was necessary then he would without questions.

The priestesses welcomed us, some saying how wonderful it must be to carry a child. I smiled softly trying to be polite. They told Achilles to stay outside while I do my duty and pray to Eileithyia.

I brought with me a golden Necklace, an old one from my father as a sacrifice, I placed it down at the feet of the statue before lighting up incense, I couldn't bow down with my swell so I sat down holding my stomach.

The priestesses were polite, After I was done they offered me drinks and cold water.

“ Thank you.” I said to one of them, an older woman, her skin was lighter and her hair was in braids. “ Of course my dear, you are always welcome to come here.” 

I drank the cold water up leaving some for Achilles "Newlyweds right? I didn't expect the prince to be wed without notice” one of the younger girls asked giggling “It was a private affair we have been betrothed for a few years.”

“ How exciting.” one of the girls said with a giggle, they were nicer but my time here was enough I bid them and the goddess’ statue goodbye.

I saw Achilles conversing with a salesman, just small talk, I coughed a bit and offered him the leftover water from the cup.

“Thank you,” he told me, and drank it fast, I chuckled lightly.

“Why did your father insist on doing this?” I whispered, he shrugged at me, Peleus was always overbearing but i don’t get why he insisted on it.

“ You know what father is like, he can’t help it.” he answered, i sighed and nodded and held his hand as he waved the salesman goodbye, we walked through the market place.

Nothing insanely fancy but Achilles’ eyes caught on something and we stopped.

It was a circlet one, and a man grinned seeing the prince.

“ one for the sweetheart?” the man says in a joking way, Achilles chuckled and nodded along. I stared at them, small ones, cute, almost too expensive, it wasn’t anything like Opus, ours was simpler.

The one with pearls endowed is what Achilles chose for me, it glittered, no doubt made by hand of a swift merchant. 

it was an expensive gift, but then again Achilles asked him “ is there one for smaller heads? a young baby perchance?"

I giggled, already wanting to spoil our little baby, I brought my veil closer to hide my smile.

The merchant smiled, of course he would, more coins to him so he showed ones similar to the other one.

“ this one? what do you think?” Achilles asked and  showed it to me, it looked beautiful, softer and smaller, one that wouldn't hurt the baby. The carvings on it was of leaves.

“ It's perfect.” I complimented it, tracing my fingers over it, as it glittered, Achilles offered me the other one, before paying the man.

Achilles was happy, his smile very wild on his face as the sunlight rained on us“You didn’t have to buy it.” I tell him, his need to spoil me was.. too much, recently he has been baring small gestures but now full on gifts.

“ I felt like it and it is lovely, so I think it would make you even more alluring.” His sincere and smug face made me pout but it was a nice gesture for him to do.

After we finally got back to the palace, it felt like a long walk from the temple to here, but I stretched my back to make the strain less uncomfortable.

Peleus wanted us to attend dinner today, mostly to see how I was doing, I thanked Hera’s grace for the fact that Borus and Polydora left to go to a different island while Menethius stayed, The young boy was nice so I felt he wouldn't be causing any trouble when his nanny could keep him occupied.

I let the veil fall finally and wrapped it around me like a shawl almost, where it dangled down my shoulder revealing along it.

I walked up to Peleus, the old man scratched his beard and smiled seeing my face, and reached his hand “ do not bow Skops.” he said getting up from the throne and bringing my hands in his.

I smiled at the old man and slightly tilted my head down still as it was a sign of respect for him “Thank you, your majesty.” he placed his hand on my head “Of course.” was his response.

He was delighted to see me and Achilles finally at the table with him, usually it was only Achilles as I forced him to go without me as it would be rude if he didn't.

Achilles and I sat opposite, next to Achilles was his nephew who looked bumped out, poor thing missing his mother no doubt.

“ Polydora and Borus would return soon.” I know it was too good to be true Achills frowned but didn't make it known to his father, and occupied himself with the soft drink on his right, I merely hummed, and brought the sweet pomegranate juice to my lips and drank it, it felt so reenergized.

My pregnancy has been taking a toll on me. Not far from now, the baby will arrive soon, I was grateful for Peleus ordering a pillow to be brought to support my back.

It wasn't awkward for us, even after the dinner we stayed, Peleus on a chair, while Achilles and I lay down on a delicate cushion.

He started to tell us stories of his youth, of his travel with hero Jason whose legacy ended in a horrible state.

“Old friend Jason married the princess Medea.” Peleus said “She was a wicked woman, but she held the gift and favor of Hera, by her and Aphrodite’s will they made her love him, at least that was the story she had given us.” is what Peleus uttered, father never spoke of his glory days.

But it was because grandfather sent him along, it was almost cruel but grandfather Actor only wanted him to find friends.

“ Why is she wicked? What did Medea do?” I asked, interested in the story.

“ he betrayed her, Jason was a flicky young man who adored a youthful princess, after he was denied to rule, he did the unthinkable.” Adultery was a crime in the eyes of the gods and for us, something we do not condone.

My mouth was dry holding on to his every word “ Medea was enraged.” 

If I were her, I would react the same way, I think I would have reacted worse, but I knew Achilles wouldn't do something as careless as adultery when it comes to me.

“ she killed her two sons and the princess to teach him a lesson, and it sure did.” Peleus sighed, this was a good friend of his who failed in life, something that hits him hard, I felt pity for him.

“ but there is something to learn from this.” of color there was, the gods make an example of us for the newer generation “ dear Skops, if you do not mind my question, how long have you been with a child now?”

I smiled at him but Achilled answered his father instead, excited in his tone “ he is nearing his third trimester.” it surprised Peleus but nodded his head along with a proud smile.

It was a peaceful night with him, watching the fire rise up and down as he put wood in it, telling us endless stories.

Chapter Text

My third trimester was aching, borderline torture, my back ached, my mood swings increased and my whole body felt like it was retaliating against itself.

I even hissed Achilles out of our bed some nights because his snoring, which I used to find so cute, soon became bothersome.

Yet again, after a few minutes without him in the bed, I started weeping for him to come back and went after him, god knows where. Now, he usually waits for me outside as he knows my outbursts.

“ I'm sorry.” I hiccuped, tears running down my face. I looked like an absolute mess of tears, puffy eyes, and curled knots of hair against my face.

He did not say anything towards me as he knows I am

Losing my cool so much because of stress “I know you didn't mean it.” he was unbothered by my words but I felt sad to ever think of him that way.

“ I didn't mean to call your snoring” hic “ so annoying. It's cute, I swear!” Achilles snorted as I clung to him as much as I could. I knew he must have been so done with my nightly explosions. 

“Is it… the cutest one you have ever heard?” he questioned me teasingly, but I sniffed and nodded my head against his chest. He softly giggled at me before bringing me closer to snuggle up.

He graced my skin with a kiss on my forehead and wiped away my tears. 

“ You're beautiful,” he whispered. I hid my face back on his chest embarrassed and mumbled “ I don't feel like that." softly expressing my distaste at how I looked, I looked like a shivering tree in the winter. 

“ You trust my judgement, right? And I say you are beautiful,” he muttered, he was so honest and so biased when it comes to his judgment but I took his compliment with a whine of embarrassment that is very apparent to me.

I hit his chest weakly “Go to sleep, you idiot.” I uttered out, his lessons were on hold for now and even more importantly he had to attend to guests that Peleus would welcome tomorrow.

Peleus circled the cup in his hands, staring out the window, and Achilles only stared waiting for him to say something, I shyly hid myself behind Achilles because I could feel the judgmental stare of Polydora.

Her husband left to visit family, leaving me to finally walk freely… sort of, I still hid myself with a veil.

“Guests from Sparta will come soon, prepare for the time being, I expect you to be a humble host Achilles.” he made sure his son knew to which Achilles nodded, Peleus’ eyes then landed on me, his eyes softened “And you Patroclus I….expect you to rest well.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

Polydora wasn't so lucky “ and you too Polydora I expect you to help Achilles and me for it.” I snorted slightly at her.

I slept against him, this time drooling all over Achilles' tunic, no doubt that he laughed at when he woke up before I did, even when I fluttered my eyes open, I groaned out of annoyance at Helios’ ray shining through the window.

I barely wanted to move from my bed, I grabbed the pillow and pulled it closer, and covered my face with the blanket. Helios's shining rays were beautiful but I hated every second of every morning.

I like sleeping in, feeling refreshed afterwards but this was making me so mad, that I kicked the covering off, my hair covering my bare chest where I yelped at the sun getting in my eyes.

I pulled on the curtain of the window going to close it and something big caught my eye.

I hid myself but I peeked out, seeing a man and a woman, ones that I do not recognize.

I saw Peleus offer humble greetings to them, with Achilles in tow.

I shudder seeing it was the two Spartan couple, the most beautiful woman in the world, and her worthy bull husband.

Sleepiness tagged my eyes, and the bed called for me to sleep again. I was too interested to look, the woman’s features were not noticeable as I was far away to notice but I could see she was wearing white powder on her face to make her beauty stand out.

It reminded me of the same Makeup I wore, just more toned down, Her husband's hair was very reddish, more than hers, it was almost daunting how it looked.

I grumbled as they walked inside the palace. Finally, I pulled over the curtains to hide the sun fully, and I landed back on the soft pallet where my back finally felt at peace.

The room was darker, a better way for me to go back to sleeping, till I felt a soft little kick from my belly, I giggled and stroked it with my hand, humming while my baby responded in flattering movements under my palm.

“ You just wanted my attention, cherry?” I mumbled to myself, dragging the blanket back on me, as I hummed a sleepy tune, with my hands on my belly, carrying it protectively. 

My sleep was not interrupted. I felt so much better, I stretched while clasping my hips to do so, and I scratched a place behind my ear which felt itchy but most of my body did anyways.

I grabbed Achilles’ spare chiton, it looked bigger on me, and it was comfortable, and it smelled like him, even as disgusting as that sounded it smelled like Wood, comforting too.

I didn't wait for him as I knew he was busy, I grabbed my Veil, one that Peleus told me I do not need, as he told me that I should be embracing my old identity.

But no, I hated that, the only reason I even had this veil was to hide myself from the froster boys, who now are grown up, and are learning to be men too.

God knows what they have done, Achilles kept me up with updates about it, and the boys started to bother the poor servants with their hormonal needs.

It felt weird to even think of that, Achilles was normal about it, never dragging a slave girl in his lap like he had told me the boys do.

It irked me, why I decided to cover myself with a veil, the longer it was, the better the man I married, it was funny at first I didn't understand such costumes, but that's how Phthia does it, so I took to the traditions.

Peleus had not told me I had to greet the two guests until a servant came by, his breath was heaving, and he even coughed, but through these coughs he bowed down to me, his head downwards to not to look at my veil.

“ The king, his majesty requested your presence at the feast.” My heart stopped. I was a mess, an absolute chaotic mess of hair and messed up eyebags, but I bid the poor servant that I would arrive soon, and told him to drink some water for his poor throat.

I sighed and turned back from my walk to go to the shore to just enjoy the smell of the sea and pick some berries for me to eat.

But of course not.

I changed my clothes to more presentable ones, even wore my hoop earrings, heirloom earrings to be exact, ones I loved, but my hair was not budging with me, I just picked my bandana and wrapped it around my hair, then tugged on the veil.

It wasn't anything amazing, as the dress was one I was gifted by Peleus, he meant well even if I never touched it till now.

It was dragged down to the floor, but it looked beautiful.

Now it was time to impress the new guests. I caressed my belly as I walked down, and my feet ached as I did. I hissed but I did it slowly, awkwardly slowly, while my baby was restlessly moving.

“ Stop squirming, I'm fine.” I sighed tapping my finger on my abdomen, even my poor little cherry senses my exhaustion.

I couldn’t bow down to the guests as I should have but the queen’s eyes softened and she had a gorgeous smile on her face, she was breathtaking, I was at a loss for words when I first laid my eyes on her.

“No, no need,” she uttered and her husband nodded with an equally gentle expression, her voice tender and healing, and yet raspy at the same time, her gold eyes stood out more against her shade of skin, she was not human, that was so apparent by these eyes.

Her husband was a bull, a big handsome man. Compared to her their height difference is normal, but I felt like a gnome next to her.

a

She smiled at me and asked some questions, “ How long have you been pregnant?” She got comfortable so fast but I shyly returned her gentleness by placing a hand on my stomach “ third trimester.” I told her, gentle speaking was not my vocal range but this time I did so.

She was excited for me, a queen this honest and kind was not the usual, usually bitter and mad against their brute husbands but here I can see the genuine love she and her spouse held

Her name was Queen Helen, and her husband King Menelaus, lived up to their names.

Finally, Achilles spotted me and came close, I waved him over to save him the awkwardness of invading the conversation.

Helen still asked questions about my pregnancy, I didn’t understand why at first but maybe she was interested, her husband kept nodding his head along with what I said.

“ It is slightly difficult my lady, it was hard for me at first, but as time goes on you will find fondness for it,” I tell her everything I felt “ back pains, stomach aches, and sickness usually happen in the first trimester, you would need exercising and such.”

Helen nodded her head as she listened, her hand on her cheek as her good eyes fluttered at me, intrigued but I started to wonder “Lady Helen no offense but why do you ask?”

She raised her face, looking slightly sheepishly, her eyes looked at her husband who encouraged her by holding her hand, a love-filled marriage wasn’t uncommon but it wasn't the norm.

“I and my husband have been trying to have a child of our own, that’s why im asking for advice from you....” shame and sadness in her voice to which I arched my eyebrows and frowned, I placed my hand on her shoulder that’s their reasoning for visiting then phthia is a sacred land, most women come to have a blessing in the fertility festivities, and it made me feel sad.

“ Do not worry, Aphrodisia celebration would do you two well,” i tell her, i know my own pregnancy was not through praying, gods knows it was something that happened, but i can see this made her a bit more happier about it, even if it is a small celebration to be held i can tell they would be staying here for a long while.

Achilles was Quiet, his eyes trailing away to his veiled sister who was talking to a noble woman, and not to Lady Helen, but Menelaus kept his conversation with me and Helen, slight jokes and fun little memories between them.

They were young too, but old enough to be my sister’s age, it felt weird to know they got married so early, and yet no child was born out of it, but nobody can be so lucky that I know.

I intertwined my fingers with Achilles', from underneath the table, he was tense, which I could see because of his sister coming closer to us, to sit down in front of us.

I gulped when she spoke, “ Greetings your highnesses .” Her hushed voice was very elegant, more elegant than mine when I welcomed them. She was a princess, born to be like this, and raised with that in mind, I wasn’t.

Lady Helen’s eyes glanced at her and smiled at her with a soft expression, i looked away tending to my back pain, i didn’t stretch up this time I stretched my legs down to and I let out a sigh.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Achilles’ urgent whisper to me to which I nodded “No, I'm fine, my back hurts.”

He understood I was brushing it off, and placed his hand on my stomach.

Our child responded enthusiastically by pushing against it, I chuckled at it “Your baby missed you so much”. i whispered 

“ ours.” he corrected me.

“No.” I insisted “They are yours when they are kicking my guts.” He rolled his eyes with a slight grin as he stroked my abdomen and was delighted at the response he got.

The room suddenly quieted down, and I felt the familiar presence, godly presence, and salt smell fill the room.

There walked the queen goddess Thetis, in pearls endowed over her hair, and her jewelry covered in such, she did not wear a veil no man can ever handle a beauty she held. 

She walked up to her throne next to Peleus who was surprised by her company.

She hummed and gestured her hand “Be at ease mortals I came to celebrate just like every single one of you.”

Her eyes glanced at the room, her hands unfolded and spread as if she was the host, she was a goddess and what she says goes, her eyes looked over at Polydora who shielded herself with her veil her hushed voice becoming weary, scared even.

This wasn't the first time I had seen Polydora like this, she was terrified of Thetis, she always has been. That's why she never comes close to when she is here and the sudden appearance made her look almost crazy so that even Helen’s eyes looked at me in confusion.

Achilles felt embarrassed by it but I was glad Thetis was here, it felt refreshing, the scent of the sea she carries makes me feel much more relaxed. 

Helen and Menelaus observed the feast, and Peleus applauded for everyone to dig in, I barely did so, embarrassed by my weird appetite and need for seafood.

Yet I can see Peleus had insisted on sea food, fishes with spices and vegetables in them, rice and soup, and most importantly the fruits and drinks.

Everyone got wine again, Achilles even drank it madly, I knew he had been drinking it more now since Peleus deemed him of Age. I wanted some but I kept being denied by everyone, Thetis kept a keen eye on me while I sipped on my water instead looking visibly disappointed.

But it was for the better as Chiron has said, the baby’s due date is getting closer after all, Cherry's gonna be a loved little one.

I still have high hopes for a girl, I know girls aren't wished for, but it is so I keep her here, spoiled and loved, and no worries to find a match.

But I know Peleus hopes for a boy, Achilles didn’t mind, Thetis does know the gender as she made it clear but she said it would be a surprise.

She was pleased when she saw me reach for some rice, which I placed on my plate and grumpily ate, it was sour and tasted nice, but I didn't feel like eating.

I circled my cup, bored out of my mind, while Achilles kept putting fish on my plate for me to eat. I reluctantly ate it because his glare was on me the whole time and I didn't want him to be overbearing right now.

Helen’s curious gaze went on me again “Do you have weird cravings sometimes too? I heard this from my sister.” 

I stared at her mouth full, I quickly swallowed wiping it away with my hand, such impolite demeanor but I was too pregnant to even care “ Yes, I remembered I crave spices on figs, it was weird.” I laughed as I told her.

Her eyebrow raised with a slight chuckle out of her plump lips she hid it with her hand gracefully, I felt jealous at how perfect she was.

“ If you don't mind me asking, we didn't get your name Your Highness?” she questions with glee in her eyes invested

I tried to hide my nervousness as I lied “ Cleopatra of Opus, your highness.” It was an old forgotten nickname, it means nothing to me anymore, nothing of what I am.

Sparta is a neighboring nation to Opus, weirdly close but our nation never fully seemed to see Sparta as an ally, but they were there for us when we needed them, our main allies were those of the east.

She wowed at me “ Opus.. Opinians are quite extraordinary in their beliefs, just like us, isn't that right Menelaus?” Her husband nodded with a grin. 

I beamed at her, gods know what changed in Opus after I left, I had not been kept in touch with them in so long.

Cherry must have sensed my distress and flattered against my stomach to which I hummed, Helen’s eyes looked at me, as if asking if she could touch my abdomen.

I scoffed with a small smile, “Of course you can, my lady.” to which she did, so slowly and gently as if I would slap her hand away, Cherry flattered and kicked against her hand. 

“ A strong little thing, aren't they?” she laughed with delight. 

“Of course.” 

Menelaus and Helen were a great honest pair, they did judge the Nobles, pointed at them each, Lady Helen kept giggling at her husband’s silly antics and his criticisms while she rumbled on and on with me, about her husband and her sister, and her brothers.

“You do have siblings right? Youngest or oldest?” she asked with anticipation.

I giggled as I circled my cup “Youngest, I have two older siblings.” I sincerely missed them but I didn't tell her that. 

She got excited, she was the youngest out of her siblings and yet was still favoured over them “Then surely you understand how overbearing they can be, you should have seen the way they teased Menelaus about his hair.” Castor and Pollux her older brothers and Clytemnestra her older sister.

“ oh I know! My brother was especially annoying” I told her laughing to ourselves, while Achilles and Menelaus sighed at the attention not being on them for a change.

Lady Helen then gossiped, about the gods, about her maids, and her sister “My sister hated her husband before, I don't even understand how they came to be married but it is always hilarious to see how grumpy they are next to their sweet daughters”

I hummed along, clinging to every word she said, she was far too honest, far too easy to please but that doesn't make her bad, it makes her who she is, and she seems very unapologetic for it.

To every fun gossip or story, she says I smiled and urged her to continue.

After the feast me and Achilles finally let out a breath of relief and fell to our pallet, I was joyful to finally have something so smooth against my aching back, and of course out of that stunning dress that was strapped to my skin.

“ You looked gorgeous.” Achilles’ words made me open my eyes to look at his, his finger playing with the spread out curls of my hair.

“I barely did, you don't need to lie.”

“ I never lie,” he says, of course, I know that, he had never lied, always keeping true to his words.

“ I know, but why me? There were plenty of youthful and beautiful girls, yet you chose me.” I say, my fingers glazed my abdomen, our love was the reason I was with a babe. 

“ Do you want to know every reason?” he stood over me, his arms against the bedding next to my head.

I flushed under his gaze, biting my lip. It had been a while since we listened to our urges, but I felt like a cow, barely even going through the day without wanting to stay in like a hidden bride.

“Please,”  I whispered placing my arms around his neck.

He whispered every single reason into my ear as I held onto the sheet, whisper after the other while proving it by giving me devotion, and I held onto every word as if it was a  blessing

Achilles stayed in our bed, Helios’ rays were covered by the curtain, which made me happy to know he too shares my annoyance, I know he was far more tired than I was anyway. 

I stared at his features, always admiring them whenever I could, adoring him in silence as he rested, poor thing, I giggled to myself seeing the small marks of scratches I left on his shoulder.

I glazed my finger over them, gently not to stir him up from his slumber.

I thought of him, but my thoughts lingered on our child, boy or girl, i still want them to have his glorious traits, his sharp face and his hair, easy to tame and easy to brush. 

To think only one month away from them being born is beyond me, the time felt so fast and yet so precious, but the moments that will come after will be even better.

Chapter Text

Helen herself kept spending time with me, and I did not mind at all. Seeing her being happy was enough for me to know she genuinely wants this to be a friendship and to keep in touch.

Though of course she worried for my health as I was so young.

“ Do you think the festival would do us well?” she questioned, her eyes glinting in patience. I hummed as I brushed through my hair, wanting it to be untangled and presentable enough for the aphrodisia celebration.

Helen first came to me for guidance about the festival, how she should go about it to earn the ever-waiting baby she wanted.

“ I can't fully say what you want but, I have more hopes, I know for certain the goddess loves you for the beauty you hold,” I told her as my hand held up the curls in one place and was able to place it in a bun even if the hair was all over. 

I gripped the stand as I held my stomach to stand up. She came to my aid and assisted me “Thank you.” I gasped out, pushing my arms up and sighing as a small crack was felt in my body. 

“ you didn’t have to do this” Helen’s voice was that of compassion, i skimmed her hair, the beauty strands lighting up under Helios’ sunshine that springs out from the window, her hair was soft, and yet strong just like her personality, i hummed as i combed through it, the curls were freshly grown that i can tell.

“You are a guest, your highness, I am here to ensure it goes well.”

“ You are a princess.” 

 “I was an exile before I became one again.” She was surprised as she let out a slight startled ‘oh’ 

“ So don't worry so much. I assure you we should spend more time together this way, especially as you want more answers about pregnancy.” She lightened up and nodded her head as I curled her hair into a long braid.

Endowed it with the jewelry of her homeland, beautiful swans on it, it’s fitting as she resembled a swan in her every movement.

“ There, perfect,” I said and tapped her shoulder so she could turn around, I held up two sets of earrings, she chose a simpler one then the one that reaches the cheek.

I wouldn’t be able to participate in the festival but I would be able to pray to Lady Aphrodite too as she is a fertility goddess.

“ Can you tell me more about it? She asked a question as I did her makeup, I picked up the white powder and smeared it on her face.

“My exile?” I raised my eyebrow at her and she nodded her head, I sweated a slight under her gaze but I wanted to answer her truthfully she has a strange power that makes me spout out everything.

“ Don't tell this to Menelaus.” To that she promised and so I told her “The name Cleopatra, isn’t my real name, it’s Patroclus.”

She was surprised but she urged me to continue as I picked the brush and drew the sun-like dots on her glorious face.

“ Patroclus was my real name, I am a Princess, but pardon me, Lady Helen, I much prefer Prince,” I tell her honestly even if it felt strange to say this all in one setting.

“ I killed a boy when I was nine, that’s why I was exiled.” 

Silence, till I felt her movement and her hand came and held mine in her palms softly rubbing it with her finger, a gentle, sister-like touch of comfort.

“ You were a child, how would you know better from wrong?” she says delicately, her eyes grasping down sadness in them, as if it reminded her of an old circumstance she went through. 

“ If you want a secret, I will give you one too,” she says biting her red lips, i comforted her by nudging her hands in mine and interlocking them.

“ I was kidnapped by Theseus… I am sorry.” she whispered out, the small tears that ran out of her eye sockets “The only ones who know this are my family.. I do not know how to tell him this myself..”

I sighed and my eyes arched back, her grief was immense, like a burden on her back, stuck till everything came bubbling out from being overwhelmed.

“ Don't keep it a secret, I know how it feels, he should know from you then for him to find out the hard way by accident.” My hands wiped her tears away, and hugged her close, she was startled, surprised by my affection but she melted into my grip, holding me to her as she breathed in and out to calm herself.

The traumatic memories she had to bury underneath her skin made her feel a sense of being overwhelmed to no end, i can see this visit now isn’t just for the sake of bearing a baby, no it was to heal the aches that stayed on her.

Aches that a woman must bear when a man gets irrational with her, I shiver at the implications of what that Hero could have done to her during her imprisonment in his palace. 

The evening was uneventful for me, I stayed in one place, sitting on a cushion while Aphrodite’s priestess and others danced, the woman clapping along to them, the smell of wine on their lips.

I still kept my hand on my stomach, humming along to the music until a young Servant came by to where I was and handed me a wrapped paper.

“ What's this?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow as I spun the letter between my fingers, the girl gulped in shyness and bowed down and answered my question “It is from opus, your grace.” she muttered under her breath.

I paused, my eyes narrowed as I held my hand out for her, dismissing her presence “Tell my husband of this too.” I grumbled and looked around, searching for a familiar face.

Before then I opened the letter, a familiar handwriting, that I knew was from my Father, to which my heart sank, and felt a slight twist in my stomach. 

No dear Patroclus, no sorries for no communication, it was to barrett me for my Pregnancy, the word mistake in the letter directed at my Cherry, made me aggravated, I closed the letters, not bearing to read any of it.

But I noticed a smaller letter, another one, I peeked at it and… from Myrto, my heart jolted and I opened it to read it, my heart was at ease seeing her letter start in small little bunter, telling me of her well-being, and how her daughter has been.

Daughter, I smiled, a little niece, she mentioned the illness that befalls her but Mother being with her, I felt small salty droplets tag at my eye, rolling down messing up my makeup.

And then I saw cute little scratches of hearts. No doubt from Eucleia, that was her name, she turned two this year as Myrto had written, and I felt much happier at it. Myrto was a lot more gentle with her writing, even then it makes my heart soften at her words.

A slave girl held out a plate for me to take, I sighed and reached for it “Thank you,” I said.

“ Do you need anything else?” her voice… I felt eerie, I could see the tingle in the way she said it, she even smelled familiar, but I smiled at her kindness “No, I am well, enjoy the celebration too.” I say placing my hand on hers to which she stared but nodded along, still keeping an eye on me. 

I pulled on the grapevine holding it above as I bit on the grape pulling it with my teeth. I stared at the window, where I lay, staring at the celebration and the sacrifices the man made.

I devoured more grapes, one after the other till my fingers were stained,

My eyes wandered to Helen, who too was dancing along with Polydora. Such festivities, to be exact fertility ones, were made to be full of pleasures, to enjoy oneself the whole way because of Aphrodisia, Helen looked glamorous, in a traditional see-through dress that everyone wore, dancing along to the music with no hesitation or pressure.

It looked effortlessly extraordinary, her hips swaying to the music, the tone of her dark body with white spots bringing out her long curly hair, moving along to her dances.

But I glanced at my abdomen, glimpsing my finger down, tapping it, waiting for a response from the baby, and I felt a tiny press, which made me smile.

I kept softly tapping it and each time they responded, in no time they will finally be out, but they have to bear it

For just these few days.  

My thoughts wandered, slightly thinking to myself, about the sudden letters I received, and I sought out why. I do not know how to even tell them. Speak to them again after leaving me with nothing for two whole years, two years of nothing, no love, no gifts, nothing.

It made my mouth run dry at that, and now he sent something? Why now?

Then again, no mention of Abderus, where did that idiotic brother goI wonder…

Helen stumbled along finishing her dancing with the girls, Polydora still danced laughing along with the Nobel women who were enjoying the music.

Her face was red, no doubt from the amount of wine she drank greedily, I giggled as she reached where I was lying and ruffled her hair.

“ I feel so weird.” She says stretching herself, I poked her nose “You're drunk,of course you feel like that.” I said plainly, it is only the first day of it. I can only imagine how horrible she would feel in the morning.

“ I wonder… Patpat,” she calls looking at me, I stilled for a second patpat?..

I ended up laughing at that, out of any nickname she could have said.. patpat?? is the only thing she came up with in this drunken state.

She pouted looking like a wounded swan “What?.. what’s wrong with what I said..” she mumbled.

“ You are so drunk, I told you not to drink so much.” I continued to laugh, removing a strand of hair that escaped from the braid I made on her.

I softly chuckled seeing her look so out of it but she finally continued her words “ Patpat.. you look good.” she says, I rolled my eyes “I'm jealous of you.. I know I shouldn't be but.. you just glow.” I was confused but I nodded to her, signaling to the servant to bring water for her.

“That can’t be it.” I countered as I handed her the water, holding it up for her to drink. I felt embarrassed for her, getting sobered up like this by a person younger than her.

“It isn’t… I'm jealous of the fact you are so young.. yet you got pregnant faster than I did i don’t think I can ever achieve that——.” She choked on the water, and I yelped and patted her back as she coughed out. 

“ I didn't want this child.” I corrected her, I don’t want her to feel horrible about herself, about her own body, everyone has it differently, each with their own problems.

She stared at me at first, surprised, and then wiped away her tears, my eyebrows arched back, wine, by the god Dionysus, always brings out the hidden glimmer of truth in their hearts.

“I never wanted it, the only reason I am even carrying this baby still is because Achilles asked” i felt cruel to say it to her, straight to her face that I didn't even want this, that I hated it.

“I hated it, I hated every aspect of it, pregnancy made me feel filthy.” I tell her the truth, the undeniable truth of my ideals “ but.. i changed, I saw these pathetic moments were a fragment of my old memories of how much my father influenced me.”

“ Helen.” I say holding her hands, softly pressing them against my stomach “ don’t feel jealous, please, be more confident, the more you say hurtful words about yourself it spirals out.” Her eyes glittered in soft tears but she beamed, her lips curled in a small smile.

“ You will make a perfect mother, I know you can.” at least much better than me.

The night ended, with the servants picking up the many plates and cups, and jars, ones that were all sticky, and the drunk woman threw up in the corners. I pitied them.

I wrapped myself with my veil, my transparent tunic was far too revealing so I didn’t want to walk out like this in front of people, it felt crude and weird.

Most women discarded their veils everywhere, and no wonder they will come squealing and searching for them in the morning.

Helen insisted she guided me back to my room, but I told her she was too drunk to do that and assured her Menelaus would come for her, so we waited.

For that time we talked about the possibility of her coming back again to visit even after this, despite her state she beamed like she was a lightning bolt, and said how she would love to.

Finally, I glimpse the golden-redish hair of Achilles, hopefully not drunk, and Menelaus, who wobbled around.

I shook my head and giggled of course he was drunk, just like his wife, but he will handle it fine, if not I will send a servant to guide them back.

“ What took you so long ?” I teased, Menelause snapped his head and straightened his back, as Helen leaped into his embrace giggling.

Achilles laughed at them before turning his head to me “ Father was too drunk, you should have seen what he did! It was so embarrassing, he started dancing on the table! Can you believe that??” I cackled and nodded my head at me before pinching his cheek, to which he whined.

“ You didn’t drink too much right?” I glared at him, he shook his head, good if I can’t have any, then he only gets to drink two or three cups, nothing more and nothing less

 "And… we have something important to talk about.”

I handed him the letter I hadn’t read yet, but he understood and bid Helen and Menelause a good night, hopefully one where they immediately go to sleep as they look ridiculous drunk.

He carried me up, in a bridal hold, I was surprised by his strength every time he did this. He knew my ankles were far too swollen to handle walking anymore, I thanked him for it with a kiss on his cheek.

“When did he send this letter?” He asked as he placed me in our bed, and went down on his knees, massaging my swollen foot, I let out a sigh of relief, and removed the veil.

“This evening, a servant girl brought it to me,” I say, finally opening it and read it out for him, he nodded his head along as he kept messaging me to make me feel better.

I shuddered as I did, each word felt like a stab in my heart, one after the other, his words got me trembling with tears in my eyes.

I gave Achilles the letter as I couldn't get myself to read the rest, he stared at me sadly, his eyes browsing with anger in them.

He took a glance at my state, his hands pulled on it, ripping it apart, the words on there kept repeating in my head.

I can not ever believe how much of a slut you can have been? Me.. One of his children is called that? For what? For being in love whorish just like her Myrto, I knew he still held his old ideals.

And worst of all, he even dared mention how I missed the funeral of my brother, how could I have known? How was I? When all I had ever been denied was closure from him.

His words of cherry, my little innocent cherry? Bastard child, a mistake that I should have gotten rid of.

“ How could he have known?..” a night full of happiness turned sour, I can see how it angered Achilles, the shreds of the letter in his hand, ripped apart to pieces.

“ I… I think my grandmother has her handmaidens here.”

He snarled and sat down, I hugged him close, tears slipping down his tunic, he brought me to his lap, stroking my back, and rocking me back and forth.

“ I'm sorry, I really am.”

“ Don't be, this isn't your fault, but…” he moved his head to look at me “ promise me to avoid her, at any cost.”

“ I can't promise that.” I mutter out “ she can slip right in if she feels like it, I… I am a mortal, Achilles nothing but a mortal.” I was a mere bug to my grandmother, whatever she wished for, it came true, even when it drove me crazy.

“ But please, put me at ease Patroclus, don't send them anymore letters.” I nodded at him “You read what he thought of you, and our child.” How can I avoid that? I know, I always know, I was too blinded by admiration.

“ Will you help protect our child?” I asked him, I can do it myself, I felt weak, the state I was at, at any point I could go into labor and I want him with me just in case.

“ Of course, I would do anything for you both.” We stayed like this, letting out grief, small and strong, while we stayed that way till we slumbered under Selen’s glow.

The next days were uneventful, nothing happened, the event was almost at an end, and that meant Helen and Menelaus would be leaving in a week.

Nervous as ever step I took, I hissed out in irritation before I felt it.

Small tinklets of water seeped out, I yelled out, the handmaidens turned their heads towards me, ones that Peleus assigned to keep an eye on me for these few days.

They scrambled off, holding me up and laid me down as I cried out, holding on to their clothes, one of them soothed me, removing my hair out of my face, lamenting out soft tones and music to me as my legs shook with pain, I moved them wiggling them.

The one who ran was to seek out the prince, but I didn't care. All I felt was gruesome tearing at me, I wanted out, I wanted it to end already.  

Helen held me close to her chest, whispered to me, I felt like I was the child, in her arms softly cradled.

I stared at her, when.. Who even let her in? But I clung closer to her, seeking the comfort she provides.

“ Please calm down, it will all be well soon.” she whispered delicately “ and you will get to hold your lamb.. Isn't that exciting?” she says to soothe my cries.

I can see the flash at the door, the fast and fleet, and aggressive flutter of the curtains.

I reached my hand out for him. He took it softly and pressed it against his lips, I can see sweat on his temple. He must've ran so fast, the poor handmaiden who seemed him out, panted and heaved as she arrived alone. 

The black-haired one placed a damp cloth on my forehead, softly stroked along my shaken and wet legs.

“ How long would he last like this? The woman didn't question what he called me, they simply looked at the princes telling him that it might take hours.

The told him that it is better he goes outside, Helen wanted to stay, to calm me down but she moved aside for Achilles to plant a kiss on my head, and pressed his face against mine.

My red eyes stared back with urgency and nodded my head the unsaid words of I love you between us, he left, he no doubt stayed outside.

I bit down on my tongue feeling the pain striking back, harder and bitter, I pushed my legs aside wiggling around, Helen grabbed my hand.

“All will be well.” More reassurance as the black haired handmaiden took her spot on the floor, while the other three soothed me standing by with a bucket and clothes for the baby, and a handy dagger, my dagger.

Screams erupted, I couldn't handle the cries, the pain, the disarray of my body, Helen’s hands gripping on mine, worry in her eyes, silently mouthing prayers.

Push, they kept saying, I did, I did as I could till…

It was finally out, and a faded whiff came from me as I stared out, staring at the handmaids with worry.

Silent, so ever silent 

That silence turned into cries, soft walling cries of a baby, my baby, I pressed myself up, gripping Helen.

The other handmaiden grabbed my dagger, to remove the cord that connected me to the babe.

“ It's a boy!, a male heir.” 

I reached out, to hand me the baby, my poor weeping child.

“Give him to me.”

The handmaiden stared, not moving till I screamed at them with boiling anger.

“ Give him to me, give me my son!” I shouted, looking like a mad Witch in their eyes.

The handmaid gave him to me, in my arms, I breathed in and out, the poor one cried as I laid him at my chest.

I cried too, muttered a song, one that I sang to him when he was in my stomach.

“Your majesty… his highness was to hold the baby first.”

Stupid rules, ones I had known before.

 But finally Achilles burst in, I smiled at him, his heart would have stopped but it softened as he drew close, once Again Helen and the handmaidens moved aside. 

“ It's a boy..a healthy boy.” his cries that roared out of his lungs is enough proof he was a healthy little one.

“ He looks like you,” I muttered out, handing him our small Cherry, his concerned soft gaze turned to happiness, and he kissed my head, whispering praises and words of comfort to my temple as I pushed the afterbirth.

He turned to Helen who smiled at him “ thank you for staying for him.” She nodded her head along, she wanted to comfort me more but she understood I needed sleep and rest, and food no doubt.

After that I felt refreshed, I was bathed, scrubbed clean by the very kind servants.

I sighed, I couldn't feel my legs, but I held my cherry close, the delicate intake of a whif. Against my breast, after I nursed him, he was a small little one, but perfect weight as the handmaidens deemed him.

Achilles dotted on me for the time being, he stayed close like a guarding dog almost, his gaze was on me and our little one, never leaving, but I smiled at him seeing him stare at our cherry.

He was a red little baby, to which I giggled, seeing him now all calm and clean, he was light-skinned, much like his father, an almost perfect copy.

His eyes were curious, as if he didn't know what to say or talk, I urged him closer, to fully lay next to me to admire him, instead of sitting on a floor like a peasant.

“ He's perfect.” he finally uttered, admiring the little thing that clung to me, sleeping soundly, I breathed out and placed my head against his neck.

“ he even has these weird elf ears you have.” I teased him, he shook his head letting out a small scoff with a smile.

“ What will his name be?” i asked him, i don’t think I ever thought hard enough for it, i always came to always call him Cherry.

“ Neoptolemus.”

New warrior, a name so great for a baby to hold, a mere little one, that can barely lift his head, yet fitting, one to bear to become stronger, just like his father.

I paused, just like him, destiny loved prophecies, i don’t think I can bear to know what awaits my child if Achilles’ prophecy comes true.

If it comes true, I will prevent it, whatever it takes.

“ It's an impressive name.” 

Peleus and Thetis came, bearing small gifts, small loinclothes, tunics, and toys for Neoptolemus, it was a long name.

“ Pyrrhus,” is what Thetis called him.

 “ I pray you have been well Pearl.” She looked at me, placing her hands on my hair, disentangling the curls, a hymn coming out of her lips.

Peleus was Delighted, messed his son’s hair,  chuckled at him, he was Proud,even Achilles merely grinned at his father, appearing pleased at how Peleus showed it.

I let my head rest against Thetis’s lap, where she massaged my head, running her gentle talons on my scalp, braided my hair with pearls entwined in my curls.

I thanked the goddess, a prayer out of my lips at how welcoming she had been, how generous and kind, if anything.. She was more of a mother to me now, a gentle one that seeks out the best for her son. 

I think… I can never be tired of this, of being loved, and cared for, in such a comforting manner.

Chapter Text

Neoptolemus was not a calm babe. He wept when I didn't come to him in the night, and instead, Achilles did. I would get woken up anyway, as he would be hungry. Nightly sleep was a luxury now.

I would have put him in the care of a nanny but I wanted to raise him, make him a better man too.

He wailed when I placed him in Helen’s arms, he always cried out for me as if I had abandoned him, Helen’s eyes had a hint of guilt in them.

“ It isn't your fault he is way too clingy,” I told her, soothing and cooing at him to calm down. His cries stopped eventually when I took him back to my arms. Such a needy boy.

“ It seems so effortless to you.” she says “ like you were made for this role.” She meant it as a compliment, I smiled at her, she is still trying but I'm glad to see she is happy enough to stay by my side while our husbands mingled away in Peleus’ court.

“You should give yourself more recognition Lady Helen,” I say brightening from under my eyelashes as we lay down on the grass, The weather was soft and windy was the weather, much more bearable than summer, and we were both bored, I had to wobble up until she helped me down from the stairs because I was still recovering.

Helen only stared at me, her golden gaze almost glowing under the sun, before grinning and poking her finger on a place near my nose and next to my lip “Your mole is more noticeable under Helios’ glow.” Nobody other than Achilles ever mentioned it, most moles on my body were on my chest and thigh, areas to which only he has ever seen. 

“And your freckles? Your whole body is covered in it, It's cute.” I was still for a second, as she complimented me, a plain beauty compared to her, yet she still felt the need to, the need to say her words she gently moved a string away from my face.

Neoptolemus stirred in his slumber, small milk-filled breaths, and his small hands gripping onto my tunic.

Helen looked at him, gently rubbing her finger on his hand “You give Achilles too much credit, he looks like you too.” 

“ I can see.. Thank you, but I don't get it.” I uttered out, putting my nose in his hair, her stare was curious and surprised at me “ I have never been described as that, just plain, Achilles' words are mere basis even if I appreciate it.” I stared down at Neoptolemus, and he only slept as I cooed at him.

“You're the first one to ever say things like this.”

“ I think you still need to find your confidence.” and she left it as that, soft and quick words that rolled out of her tongue.

I stared dumbfounded, her using my words against me, it was almost ironic but that was interrupted by Neoptolemus' cries, I sighed and held him closer, cooed at him, and played with his small palms.

He didn't calm down, to which now I know he was greedy for milk, silly boy I pulled down my tunic and nursed him to my breast.

It felt draining every day to watch over him, his only source of not crying was me, even his grandmother couldn’t stop him, he wailed harder in her embrace than everyone else.

“Those born from the sea despise it at first, that’s how Achilles was like too.” is what she said before placing him in my arms and gracing my head with a soft planted peck, motherly affection.

I stared down at him, parted his small hairs in his scalp, small red little hairs, that I found so adorable, so tiny and yet growing so fast, it felt scary, it felt… almost unreal.

I heard a hiccup from the poor thing, Helen giggled and ‘awed’ it brought me to smile despite my exhaustion, I am happy to raise him, to love him, and see him grow, even if it means sacrificing my ideals for it.

“ The poor thing seems so hungry.” Helen’s eyes gleamed and beamed at Neoptolemus.

I sighed “ he was already fed before he slept, he is so greedy.”  to which she giggled, cooing and humming a song when he delatched himself from my breast, Helen was so happy to help out I can tell, I wish I could place him in her arms again but he would wail himself to sleep if I do.

He let out a tiny yawn settling against my breast “Does this make you feel ready for yours?” I laughed at her face that gawked at Neoptolemus’ ignoring her tune.

But she just laughed, “ I think so, you make it look easy, he's just desperate for your attention, just like any infant is.” I nodded at her, stretched my legs out before kicking them back on the grass.

I felt so tired, recovery has been so hard, especially now when I try to move, it just makes my back and feet ache, and I know Helen means well, but seeing the fact that in two more days she will leave, makes me sad.

She was a genuine friend, we haven't known each other for too long, but that doesn't stop her from being someone I truly treasure.

She sang as she lay down on the grass again, staring at the sky, with the tree shielding us from the blinding light, the wind seemed to get stronger at her melody, a song so sweet and so flourishing.

I hummed along with her, not too noticeable while planting a peck on Neoptolemus’ head.

Helen helped me back, I tried to walk but my legs were unsteady, so she had a stronger grip on my waist, making sure I didn't trip with my infant in hand

She was a strong woman, if I felt unreal by that, but it is impressive.

She seated me down “You didn't have to, I could have asked the servants to do it.” she scoffed and poked my nose with her finger.

“Nonsense! As are my friends Patroclus I'm allowed to help you when you are in need, hopefully our husbands are done with Peleus,” she whined out, I giggled at her, silently waiting while she busied herself sitting on a table and played around with Neoptolemus’ silly toys.

Finally, Achilles showed up, he was grumpy, tiredness clung to his eyes, and he spotted Helen and stared but didn't greet her, she did so too before leaving us to find her bull husband.

Achilles melted down on his knees as he held my hand, gracing my freckled skin with kisses and adoration.

“How did it go?” I asked

“ horrible, I hate politics.” To that I shook my head and bid him to sit next to me, I scooted over placing Neoptolemus’ in his crib, he fussed before yawning again… or just opening his mouth?, I softly laughed, he was so weird just like his father.

“ Come here, pretty boy.” I teased Achilles who melted in my embrace, muttering small praises into his scalp, he closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks.

“Will you sleep too love?” he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, his head on my breast hearing my heartbeat.

“I will try, you know how Neo gets.” I muttered as he planted kisses down on my chest “spoiled little thing just like you.” I joked as I melted in his embrace, feeling weary from taking care of him.

I love him, I do, but I need my space.

Achilles pulled on our blanket and threw it on us, I chuckled, hugging him closer. I slept so much faster than I expected, fast enough for me to stay asleep much longer than usual.

When I woke to the sound of shuffling, I rubbed my eye before being met with a sweet little sight, Achilles holding a calm little Neoptolemus, who only looks up at him, without opening his eyes, Achilles cooed at him softly rubbing the boy’s hand with a finger.

I never knew for sure if Achilles wanted to take care of him the same way I wanted to, but this eased me, he didn't notice me yet so I stayed there admiring them.

Achilles started uttering a song to him, gentle melodies for his son to hear, Neoptolemus fussed, wanting to move his hands at his father, babbling huffs.

He laughed at him planting small kisses on the smaller hands. 

I only stared with devotion at them, bringing a giggle out of my mouth that Achills noticed by the way his ear twitched and turned to me.

“Did I wake you up?” he asks, moving a slight bit near me.

“ I think so.” I yawned, extending my arms up before melting back on the soft pallet “ he seems so calm then usually.” 

Neoptolemus didn’t erupt into cries or screams, merely pecked his hands out towards me, and I huffed out a little laugh. I wanted him to stay in Achilles’ arms for a bit longer but it was hard to resist him.

Achilles pouted at the attention not directed at him from the little one “ he barely wanted to be in my embrace, what kind of sorcery do you have?” he jests to which I rolled my eyes at him and placed a hand on my cheek, i looked disheveled, felt like a chaotic mess, my back still felt so strained from my days of laying on it.

I held out my finger to Neoptolemus' nose, poked it a little which earned a little sneeze, so sensitive too “Hopefully he wouldn't cry if he stays in your arms longer.” I teased cooing and babbling responses at the little babe.

“ He loves me, he is a strong warrior, I'm sure,” Achilles said proudly, his hair hiding his face as he flipped it back by shaking his head like a dog.

“ I will give him a few minutes when he realizes you aren't going to feed him.” I want to get up and take a bath but that is harder to do when my legs can’t handle walking for too long.

I grumbled a slight before bringing my face close to leave a small peck on his head, Achilles insisted on bringing a servant to look after him but I shook my head.

“ Maybe Helen can help? I don't want to trouble her and Menelaus but they're the only ones I can trust.” he gave Neoptolemus to me, ruffled my hair, and kissed my forehead bidding me goodbye to seek Helen and Menelaus.

I looked down at him, giggling at the fact that he was so calm. I would feel worried but I am relieved, maybe he is finally getting used to others holding him.

I parted his clothes inspecting him, his little hands pecking out, i know he hated being wrapped and stuck in one place like a porcelain doll.

He moved around relishing in his newfound freedom, it was cute i stroked his little foot and whispered soft and gentle praises that he wouldn't understand but it brought him to yawn, and he melted into sleep once again.

Achilles didn’t take too long to bring Helen and Menelaus to come and look after Neoptolemus, I placed him back in his crib before they arrived, Helen was happy to help while Menelaus was still shy and cast his eyes away from me as he had never seen me without my veil before.

Achilles carried me off with some tunics and a shawl for me in my hold, and some alone time was needed between us for a bit, but my heart clung back to Neoptolemus.

I sighed in relief as my body touched the water, Achilles chuckled before dunking his head in the bath, I grumbled at his playful nature, and waited for him to come back.

He ended up springing out from between my legs to which I flinched and yelled his name as he did, he laughed and held my face in his palms, and kissed me desperately and passionately.

Our wet bodies pressed against one another, I sighed into his mouth, and melted in his arms.

“ I missed you.”

I chuckled at him “We are always together.” I say, I do know what he meant, of course I do, I just want to hear the words come out of his mouth to tell me honestly.

“ I know, but I just miss you when we used to be so childish,” he says, I hummed along I suppose after having a child it would be harder to be by ourselves and enjoy having fun and being boyish in our games.

“ I know, I do too.” I huffed out running my fingers through his soaking hair, his head pressed against my chest, laying kisses on my bare body, worshipping it under his lips.

Delicate and gentle intimacy between us was never rare, it brought me contentment to his truthfulness, he never lies, and he never would do so to me, but I can see the burden he has on his shoulder.

Something more happened at that conference, I wanted to press him on, but I felt guilty as I did.

“What truly happened in your meeting with your father?”

Achilles paused, he cringed at how easily I caught him “No, nothing happened, don't worry yourself.”

“Tell me, don't hide things from me,” I whispered gently ruffling his hair, placing many kisses along his damp hair.

“Letters from opus, again, happy and more.. Gentle then your father's, and of course gifts.” I stooped, I cursed under my breath, of course, it always leads back to Opus, never to be separated from my old hometown.

I scoffed and hugged him closer. I don't wish for them to know about Neoptolemus, I don't think they ever would love him, but.. A part of me wants them too.

“ I want to send them one last letter.” I say to him, his eyes narrowed and bit down his tongue, and nodded his head at me “If that's what you wish, then I am fine with that.” 

I know that after the insults my father directed at our child, he was furious at him. He can see why I want to, if he were in my position he would understand, but he was more privileged than I was, because he was born a man and free to do as he pleased.

I wasn't, and would never achieve that.

I sighed under his gentle hands scrubbing soap on it, he insisted on taking care of me for a change.

My mind ran back to my childhood, how blind I was, but what can I do? What would I have done? I was nothing but a small one with pressure on his shoulders. 

But alas that was over with, the past is far gone and far away from me, where I have a much better life here.

Achilles dried my hair and i relaxed under his touch, it felt weird, i never been handled so delicately from anyone else but him, i remember how Otonia’s rough scrubbing on me, How Pyila strong hand taught me to chop off wood, and how Tyro’s scratched hands tugs on my hair to keep me in place while braiding it.

Here with him, his hands are always so cold, and so gentle with his care for me, i remember when we wrestled in the past, his grip was always so light compared to how I see him do it with other boys.

Remembering these made me smile and scoff and he noticed “What had you lost in thoughts Patty?” he teased, grabbing a newer tunic, no doubt another gift from Peleus.

“ Nothing, it is just silly memories.” he hummed in response, occupied with dressing himself after he was done with me.

“I don’t understand why you feel the need to cover yourself, I think you’re better off without it” he voiced his opinion handing me my shawl.

I stared at him, it was one of the traditions of wives to do so “I... I don’t know.. I don’t like having my identity discovered by the froster boys, or nobals in here.”

He nodded his head “You’re a boy too, just not born as that but that doesn’t mean you aren’t one.” My mouth ran dry, nobody ever took my correction seriously, passing it as some silly idea I had of myself but Achilles never discarded it, never questioned it.

“You really think so?..” I flushed under his deep gaze.

“Have I ever lied to you?” He asked that before, it made me smile, his words were like honey in my ears, deep and sincere, and with no hesitation.

We returned to Menelaus and Helen struggling to keep Neoptolemus from crying by squeezing his little knitted toys to which he fussed up and wiggled in Helen’s arms kicking against her strong hands, poor them they look like he was causing them trouble way before this.

I muffled my laugh with the shawl, feeling pity but they wanted to learn how to take care of babies after all.

Helen gave me Neoptolemus, and muttered “ I'm sorry he just wouldn't calm down, he does love you too much.” with a small giggle twirling with her hair.

“ He is a bit calmer than last time.” I teased to which she laughed and nodded her head, talked a bit before bidding me goodbye with her husband strutting behind her like a duck.

I waved at them, as Achilles got up to close the door behind them and tie the strings of the curtains so that they would know we are not to be disturbed.

I stared down at the fussy babe who calmed down, moving his hands around towards me, I rolled my eyes with a smile tugging at my lips, cooed and talked to him.

“ You are such a troublemaker, how was I supposed to leave you when you're already causing a mess?” I teased to which he responded with his feet, wiggling them and bringing them close to my face, shoving one against my cheek.

Achilles laughed at the sight, grabbing the letters that were sent earlier, and an ink brush and scroll from the chest he had, he was a bit aggravated at how long it took him to find it before sitting next to me.

I looked at the scroll, it was long enough for me to write down all of my will and what they needed to uphold, I felt nervous, I didn't know what to write down still.

“ If you want, you can read the new letters from your mother and sister, they mean well,” he says noticing my uneasiness at it, he handed them to me, already opened, and read before, the letters were indeed addressed to me.

My mother's letter was more gentle in her words, softly written in the Achaean language rather than her own.

‘ Dear Patroclus, I hope this letter finds you well my dear D̶a̶u̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r̶. My little C̶l̶e̶o̶… I had known of your facsniting with Peleus boy——’

But I noticed something in every chunk of her words, there was scraping on it, at that nickname Cleo and the word daughter, two words that I despised. 

Yet the only one who knew that was Achilles.

I looked at Achilles whose eyes were on Neoptolemus, not paying attention to me, but I continued through the letter.

‘—— I am proud of you, I always would be, but throwing away your future when you are so young for a demigod boy… my C̶l̶e̶o̶… you are smarter than this.’

 I grew irritated, she means well, I know she does, but this hurts.

‘——Will you ever come back? To seek a better place? Mayhapse? Even bring along your little one? I hope one day you will, I miss you, so does your sister.’

I scoffed and threw it aside “Did you scrap at the letter Achilles?” 

He swallowed a sliver at the intensity of my eyes “Yes, I did so, I know you hated these words i——.”

“ Thank you,” I said, interrupting him, leaning my head against his shoulder; this is what matters to me more, him and our little babe, no mere promises of Opus being a better place, no amount of insults would make me return to the sorry place that was home.

“ Are you sure you want to respond to these letters?”

“ Yes, it is for the last time.” I peck from my eyelashes, staring into his black gaze “ to let them know I wouldn't come back.”

It felt cruel, but it is to let them know to stop hoping for things that would never happen again, Opus is nothing to me anymore, the years I had lived in it pale in comparison to my new home.

But home is where he is, where our love resides, not in mere places, in dwellings I know where he resides.

I kissed Neoptolemus' head, gently singing a tune, one that I had sung for him when he was in my womb. 

I wouldn't ever push an expectation on him, or force him, no, he would live happily.

And free from judgment, I don’t want him to ever step inside of Opus, his home was here in Phthia.

Even if it comes to that, it would only happen over my dead body.

Chapter Text

The day went on the same. Neoptolemus and I spent it watching Achilles train with Chiron once again, but of course, I was paying attention to the little one whose green eyes stared at the scene before him.

I giggled when Chiron once again pointed at Achilles "Do it harder and faster." he says at him, Achilles grabbed another spear, aimed it as fast as he could, and threw it at the target while heaving.

Achilles was usually not out of breath by a simple task like this but I got up and gave him his skin to drink from.

Chiron's gaze was on mine then, but he looked at the Baby on my arms and scratched his beard. "Not to disturb you, Patroclus, but when will you return to train again?"

Achilles wanted to interrupt but I adjusted Neoptolemus on my breast and hummed "Soon enough master, when I feel like it I shall return." It wasn't a no nor a yes but this pleased him enough.

Achilles wiped the sweat away from his face. He looked so much older, and it made me anxious about how fast he had gotten broader and taller. The last time I remember, we were the same height.

He placed his hand on my back "You're alright?"

I arched my eyebrow at him before nodding my head " And so is he, isn't that right Pyrrhus?" I cooed to which Achilles laughed placing a kiss on my head.

"Yuck you smell gross."

"Love, I'm training of course I do," he responded by rolling his eyes with a grin before stepping aside to return to Chiron, i hummed and went back to the spot where a carpet was placed for me but my eyes averted to the sea.

She must think I am dumb to her presence, I grew irritated and walked over, holding Neo closer to my chest, and shielding him away with his cloth.

I heard a slight laugh out of Aigina's mouth before she emerged before me, baring and walking like a corpse now, I shrieked at her and moved away.

"Don't be afraid of your grandmother," she says before kneeling down in front of me, she hummed as she held my arm while I scrunched up my face in irritation.

"What now? Was my letter not enough for my father?" she laughed before laying her eyes on the little babe on my breast, i merely turned my body away hiding him, but his curiosity peeked out.

The baby babbling thinking it was his sea grandmother but instead it wasn't her, but Aigina's gaze melted and cooed softly

"I knew you spied on me, for what?" I uttered out as small tears drifted out as I rocked my poor baby, her eyes softened appearing more human to me, more like how she used to be.

"You could have supported me, come to help me but you didn't! Why didn't you? Tell me!" I cried out but Neoptolemus felt my distress and his mouth trembled before letting out a cry.

I stopped paying attention to her, I wiped my tears away while whispering to Neoptolemus and stroking his belly to make him calm down, until he grew calmer when Aigina's talon softly touched his finger.

"You are doing far better than your mother." she teased.

"She was so much clumsier and too scared, yet here you are tending to the baby's every need" I didn't know if her words were out of malice to my mother or pride in me.

"I suppose so, but she tried that's what matters."

She laughed at me more, turning her eyes to Neoptolemus who was so quietly staring at her " he even has your eyes, at least that's good, the rest is all fishboy isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes at her, fishboy, she can't even be bothered to call him by his name.

"What's the little one's name?" she questioned gleefully to which I scoffed at her almost cackling to which she responded by staring at me with a judgmental stare.

"You don't even call his father's name properly what makes me think you would bother remembering his?" I countered "You don't even call me by my name, the one you gave me."

I can see the way anger formed on her face, her eyes darkened and with it, she looked feral, animalistic like a deity.

But she laughed, like a maniac " Oh stupid girl—" I flinched at that. No.. I was not a girl the words not forming out of my mouth " what makes you think this all happened so perfectly? Was it fate? No! I crafted this future for you."

"I had adored you more than I had adored my son, heed my words, this tiny thing would be worse than his father, Neoptolemus is just like him." My heart leaped out of my mouth, I heaved and brought Neoptolemus closer, and stepped away in fear at her towering figure.

"Just like how I adored you, I will come to despise you, but alas, you know your place mortal." she slurred her words at me, and even dared to place a small kiss on my forehead as if sealing her words.

I stared as she walked to the dreadful sea " What was my true fate then?" She can see the future that she had bragged about before, most Naiads and Neraids do, she was not special in that regard.

"War, dying young, mayhaps that can still happen." She shrugged " As for your little suckling babe, his fate is much grotesque, his siblings would be much better."

" and Achilles?" she turned her head to look at me, huffed a bit before chuckling " he has a choice in it, he can die a hero and live long and happy life, your sweet little godling wouldn't pass an opportunity like this, but alas his demise would only come by when he kills a foreign prince” she cackled as she emerged to be part of the sea again.

I sat there contemplating, I knew my fate was death, but war? What war? What price do I bring to it? What does it need of me when I have established myself as a doting little wife for her husband and son?

More children? Why would he need another? But my mind went back to his fate, Thetis never told me of it, he hadn't either, I was led to believe he would become a hero.. And die later on, like Perseus had, but now a foreign prince into this matter..

Yet I wondered if Achilles knew of it.

I grew distant, unable to look him in the eyes knowing we were both destined to die so young and leaving our children orphans.

Every time I look at his bright smile, his eyes, all I can imagine is how death is watching over us at all times, at any chance of robbing our bodies of their psyche.

He of course noticed, he closed the door behind him as he walked up to our bed, I had my head on my knees, faded tears on my pillow, it was late, very late in the night when he had returned.

Even Neoptolemus slept so soundly in his crib with his small snoring sounds so delicate, I felt weak in this, I knew now I was bound to always mourn for him if he chose his hero path.

“ Patroclus, my love, my pearl” he whispered desperately placing his head on my feet, as if I were a statue for him to worship “Tell me what ills you”

“ I.. Achilles.. Did you know your whole prophecy?” I muttered weakly pressing and tangling my fingers through his wet hair.

He stayed quiet but very so slightly moved and locked our eyes together, his eyes narrowed while mine bloodshot from the tears I spilled.

“Why do you ask this of me?”

“You didn't answer my question Ligyron.”

“Don't call me that.” I deepened our gaze, mine turned to aggravation “ I can call you whatever I want, answer my question, do you know your whole prophecy?”

He didn't answer and stayed quiet as the time dragged on I grew nauseous, sick of how he had kept it a secret I can see how scared he was to say it, to roll it out of his cursed mouth.

“How could you hide that from me?” I shouted finally pushing him off of me, my gaze ablaze with tears, I wiped them away but to no avail, as they kept spilling out of anger.

He tried to explain himself “—Please Patroclus I did it for your good.” he tried, he appeared so hurt, so saddened by me, Me! After he had hidden his whole prophecy.

“Did you know what I came to find out? That's our son! Would become just like you, be a grotesque hero, and die young! Achilles what good does that do me??” My frail hands went to my hair, scraping my nails on it and pulling as if I was going mad, to how my life is filled with tragedies.

His eyes widened, his mouth agape not knowing what words to utter to get me to calm down, how can I ever be the same knowing this? I hadn't even told him of my fate.

I saw the way a tear slipped by, breaking his strong will, I stared at him, I felt betrayed that he would hide that prophecy of his by only telling me about one part.

“ I..I didn't know that, mother said he—”

“Become a hero? That is true but what is a hero without a gruesome death tied to it?” I answered him, fully kneeling now clutching my fists on my curls.

“ Yours is the same, war, mingling till your death comes by killing a prince? Isn't that true? Who is that prince Achilles?”

“ Hector of Troy, that's what I know,” he answered, weeping in his hands, I know what he did hurts but seeing him like this, for the very first time ever, hurts me, it breaks my heart.

I sighed removing my hands from my hair, and slowly crawled into his lap, ruffling my hands through his hair.

His arms came and wrapped around my body tightly, as he wailed his sorrow on my shoulder.

“Don't hide these things from me again Achilles,” I said keeping my fate away from his ears, as he crumbled in my embrace.

He didn't answer through hiccups and sniffles, I pity him, but I pity our son more, how will his life be? Being fatherless?

No father to tell him how proud he would be of him as he grows up? Or will he live in the constant pain of having no one to say these words to him? Causing him to lash out at others, he was so young, barely able to lift his head, and still couldn't utter words or understand them.

But I sought after his hands and brought them to my lips, planting a kiss on his fingers, before intertwining them together.

“Whatever the cost it may be, we will be in this together, I swear this to you as your other half.”

The day went on as normal, Neoptolemus woke in the middle of the night to which startled me awake, I groaned as I rolled off to look at him in his crib.

I was stunned to see how calm he was, he wasn't this calm unless there was a divinity near, I swallowed down my worry, my eyes circling in the dark, but there was none, if there was Achilles would have felt it.

But I looked down and saw.. A cup? It was already drunk but I saw the bits of leftover golden liquid that glittered, I looked at Neoptolemus whose breath tingled with a weird sweet scent.

I shook Achilles awake, to which he whined rubbing his eyes and blinked staring at my expression.

“What’s the matter?” he questions sleep tugging at his voice, I showed him the cup to which he stared confused before he ‘ahed’

“Nectar, I've seen my mother drink this before.” he shrugged not knowing what just occurred in my mind.

Would Thetis do that? Make Neoptolemus drink the food of the gods? If so why? I frantically looked around and whispered.

“ I think she.. Gave Pyrrhus some of it.” I was putting it lightly, this was not some, this was almost the whole cup, it made me worry how this can affect him.

I relectintly dipped my finger in it, and brought it to my nose, the same tingling smell.

I do not know what brought me to drink it, the leftover of it caused me to cough, unable to handle the godly drink, I know Neoptolemus has more divinity in his blood from Achilles' side but my father was a demigod too, and yet I felt weak to this.

Achilles patted my back as I coughed and wheezed from it, he was not hesitant to calm me down before he held Neoptolemus in his embrace.

"Have you ever drunk it before?"

"I don't think so? But the smell is so familiar to me." But then he doubled down " from what mother told me.. she atonited me with Ambrosia, not nectar before when she was trying to burn away my mortal half."

I raised my eyebrows, Achilles has always been scarily strong, invulnerable to my harsh touches and gashes I gave him that never appeared on him after hours, but how? If his mortal half were burnt away, then what is truly left of his humanity?

"It didn't work." he laughed as if it was a joke "My mother accidentally burnt my foot in the process when my father intervened, and Chiron healed it, he didn't say how, and only said it was far too gruesome to understand."

I didn't utter a word staring at Neoptolemus, who fondled his hands on his father's hair, lightly pulling on the shiny gold of it, i scoffed that it felt.. weird, that it seemed Thetis wanted to make sure Neoptolemus would be just like his father in every way.

I do love her for her generosity but I feel this was far too extreme, he is my son, not hers, she is his grandmother.

But I wouldn't deny her if she wants to make him immortal like his father.

I sighed and placed my head on his shoulder, and watched the wiggling babe in his arms as he cooed at him, and nudged their noses together which got the baby to laugh at his antics.

But I smiled, He was so loved by everyone around him, I can only pray he would live happily, away from others who would wish for him to feel pain.

He was our little joy in the darkest of times.

"Mother means well."

I nodded my head at his words before bringing my finger to Neoptolemus’ mouth wiping away the excused nectar.

"I know, i pray she gets what she wants out of this." the words felt hostile as this was my child, my son that was growing inside of me, and I bore him to this world, I have right to be angry about it, but I cannot bring myself to ever be furious at Thetis.

She was like my mother, a goddess no less who knows how to play her dice correctly, but I felt disappointed she wouldn't counsel her own son about this before intervening.

Alas, I pity her too, desperation is a means to be at peace, but what is peace without the pain and suffering that comes before it? To that I understand her.

Neoptolemus wiggled his hands to me causing me to snap, to which I laughed at him before taking him from Achilles, softly babbling little pecks on his hair "Someone's hungry again huh?"

He responded by looking at me with his big green eyes, I untangled my tunic so he could be fed.

"And you told me I spoil him too much." I stuck my tongue out at Achilles to which he laughed before sharing a kiss.

"Not his fault that I'm his favorite"

"Oh? Is that so Pyrrhus?" The baby was too occupied being nursed to answer his father, to which I giggled at him, before pinching Achilles' cheek.

Neoptolemus was spending a lot of time clinging to his father now which makes me grumble, he has always been calmer in my arms but it seems now that he is growing he favors his father more.

I remember how he moved his arms around and babbled at his father, who nudged his nose onto his hair.

Achilles and I were confused about what he wanted, it was lunch, and we were at a table with Peleus, and his daughter was there too.

Polydora ended up speaking to us for the first time in a much softer tone " he wants his father." to which we were startled by.

I softly smiled a slight at her before placing him in Achilles’ arms to which he gladly took him and started babbling gibberish to Neoptolemus who squirmed with a smile.

I sighed feeling the weight lifted off of me for a change, Achilles loved him that I can tell but I do grumble at how Neoptolemus is always at him.

“ he is a growing boy, he would tend to favor him as time goes on, I know how it felt when Menesthius grew to be like that too.” Her hushed voice was much softer, it was nerving but I wanted to seek a friendship with her before but I am still wary.

“Yeah..” I chuckled “How was it for you? Raising a babe by yourself?” I asked her, picking on my rice and placing it in my mouth to eat.

I saw Achilles talk with Peleus who laughed at his son and fidgeted his finger at Neoptolemus who was reaching for it.

“It was unbearable, but I had Borus to help, and some nannies for him.” she sighed placing some food on her son’s plate.

“You would be surprised by how much more the Nannies were like, respectful but still not too trustworthy”

I nodded at her, I felt the same, I couldn't bear to separate from Neoptolemus, babies his age were taken care of by wet Nurses, nannies, and handmaidens, I knew Achilles was raised that way.

I was too, but my mother couldn't help it as she was young.

“Would you ever get him a nanny?” I shook my head at her, sipping on my cup to vanquish my thirst.

“No, I don't think so, my nannies were.. Not the brightest and I don’t trust him with strangers.” That was my truth, unless it was Otonia, Tyro, or Pyilla, I can trust them, but it has been so long since I sat with them, and talked.

“That’s a shame, I wasn't raised by nannies myself, but the past is the past,” she whispered tugging on her fork, plucking on the salmon on her plate.

I nodded my head, she still is someone I can't fully trust but I can see she was trying to bond with me this time, despite the many hurtful words she directed at me.

I know she must think it would be nice as now I understand her.

But I don't, I never would, that's what makes me pity her efforts.

Achilles had his eyes on me as Polydora talked, it was not interest, he didn't trust her, and seeing her so calmly talk with me was unnerving.

I placed some rice on my spoon, bringing it to his lips to eat, to which his cheeks flushed, and opened his mouth and ate it with embarrassment at it but I giggled and continued to feed him.

Peleus laughed at us, bringing his hand to mess Achilles’ hair “See? Skops is always here to lend you a hand.” It was a joke to which I laughed at my father-in-law, before biting down on an apple.

I brought it to his lips too, to which he raised his eyebrow but dug his teeth in, ripping the flesh of it before dragging his face away.

I munched down on it, staring at them, seeing them so lively and happy, how Achilles babbled at him, to which he always enthusiastically answered in his gibberish at his father.

It was a beautiful sight in my eyes, seeing him so joyful.. Almost makes me forget what fate has for them, and what pain I would go through.

But for now, I will enjoy seeing him grow and be nurtured into a good man, a man who would win praises from others and most importantly his father.

I lament at a fate that I wish and pray to Hera that the fate finds pity for my son.

Chapter Text

Achilles was planning something, I know he is, I always can tell when he looks my way with a slight leaning towards a wall, his arms behind his back in a polite manner.

I huffed in annoyance at how he interacted with a young Servant girl who twirled her hair but she soon looked shocked at the prince's request, i sighed and looked down at Neo who babbled and had his hands on his toy.

"Your daddy is being a little weirdo isn't that right?" I cooed at him, he only giggled in response, and squirmed around lifting his ship toy to my face.

I laughed and placed a little kiss on his toy, to which Neo let out a small whine and looked grumpy, to that I shook my head and gave him a small peck, he wanted attention from his father I know that, but he can be such a sweet thing when he wants pecks.

Achilles finally walked up to us and knelt before more, whispering in gibberish to Neo who had forgotten all about me and his toys in favor of his dear father.

"You bewitched him, now he barely wants to be in my arms unless it's to be fed." I teased, softly giggling as Achilles took Neo in his arms, kissing his head and rocking him back and forth as the baby's small hands reached for his father's hair.

"Told you he favors me lots more, isn't that right Cherry? Bad mama doesn't let you eat sugar isn't that right?" Achilles jested as Neo looked up at him, green eyes inspecting his father's face before biting his chin.

It wouldn't hurt seeing as Neo barely has teeth yet, but it is humorous to see Neo have so much built-in aggression, Achilles only let him do it so easily because his heart is far too weak when it comes to his son.

I grunted at him "It is so he grows up healthy and not like you, spoiled brat." I stick out my tongue at him, mocking his expression to which he laughed.

His black eyes glinted in mischief " If I am a spoiled brat then what does it say about you? I spoil you and him all the time." I sighed, he was right, he had so eagerly bought us matching circlets when I was pregnant, it was beautiful tho I had rarely worn it till now.

Achilles always makes sure I wear it over my veil.. but that was in the past, as it has been months since I wore one, I went back to being myself, not having to worry over the froster boys knowing my secret, and for me to go back to training again.

But it was hard to leave Neo anywhere near nannies but.. i always had Otonia keep an eye on him, or my handmaidens, but alas I want to keep him in my sight always.

"It means we are loved isn't it?" I teased a slight removal of his hair from Neo's grip who only pouted at me in return.

"Of course it does," Achilles whispered in my ear then gave it a little tug with his teeth causing me to yelp back in surprise at his boldness.

"Say.. what did you talk to the servant girl for?" I asked, I crossed my arms waiting for his response but he hummed, always with that mischief in his eyes.

"You'll see."

A surprise then… fine let it be this way, I will find out eventually if it is a surprise but for now, I will pretend I am not curious, i nodded my head at him and twirled my hair on my finger.

It was getting annoyingly long, and huge but I kept it up for him as he adores it, even if it is an untamable mess he always glazes his fingers over it on nights where we lie by ourselves, resting after a long day of training and taking care of Neo's little tantrums.

It was times where only we were by ourselves, being passionate in our small love that we had craved through our lives.

I was sluggish today, not wanting to do anything crazy other than rest.

But of course that was interrupted by a salty scent behind me and Achilles.

I laughed out "Hello my lady." before bowing down in greetings to which the goddess giggled as her claws went to pinch my cheeks.

Achilles laughed seeing he was not a victim of his mother's talons on his face.

"How many times must I remind you that you can call me 'mom' too, silly pearl." She pouted at me while I whined out at her claws slightly moving my cheek like I was just a baby.