Chapter Text
Sunday, July Thirteenth
They’d been in the van for thirty minutes, and already Kaz had begun drilling them.
“So how many of you know anything about Christianity?”
Wylan raised his hand without looking away from his illuminated phone screen. He had a singular AirPod in and looked bored. Inej raised hers as well—she didn’t wear that cross around her neck for nothing. They all knew that Matthias was Christian, no hand raise needed. Jesper saw the confused expression on Nina’s face and thought that he probably looked the same. He snorted, rueful.
He glanced around the van. Matthias had a notebook out, notes about Bible characters and verses scribbled across the pages. Inej had her feet propped on top of her duffle bag, Bible beside them. Everyone else sat, bleary eyed and squished.
The setup of the van was confusing and cramped, but Kaz had insisted it be that way. Jesper, Inej, and Wylan sat in the furthest back, Wylan in the middle and Inej on his right. Nina and Matthias sat in the middle, Matthias in front of Jesper and Nina in front of Inej. Their prohibition officer drove behind them, trailing their every mile. The black and gold cop car kept catching Jesper’s eye anytime he turned his head. He tried not to let it irk him.
Kaz sat solitarily in the front, driving the busted up van. Speaking of the van, it was a piece of junk. They'd loaned it from a rather sketchy dealer for a very low price—Jesper could see why. The sliding doors stuck, the seats were torn in multiple places, and the thing barely had air conditioning. That particular attribute was killer in the July heat, and Jesper knew it would only get worse the further south they traveled.
As far as the seating, Kaz claimed it had to be this way so everyone could plan for VBS most effectively. They hadn’t yet attempted to do that, but from the way Kaz was beginning to pester them while wearing his scheming face, Jesper knew it was coming.
Generally speaking, they were a group of proper heathens. Half of them had likely never set foot in a church. The other half had been raised with Christian faith, although with denominational differences. But even the faithful among them pushed the rules of religion. If you asked Jesper, pulling them into a convincing bunch of church camp counselors was going to be… entertaining, for sure.
Kaz cut a glare at Nina and Jesper via the rearview mirror. “I told you to learn your shit. We have exactly,” he glanced at the van’s analog clock—a very ancient and therefore cloudy thing, “thirteen and a half hours to make you two experts on Jesus.”
Jesper groaned. His knees were already beginning to ache. “That sounds like enough time to me.”
Kaz rolled his eyes. “It’s not about the time, it's about the repetition of knowledge. Cramming this into your thick skull won’t work as well.”
“It’s fine, really,” said Matthias in an attempt to mediate the two. “Between me, Wylan, and Inej, I’m sure we can make you two convincing Christans.” Inej nodded along encouragingly.
Nina pointed an accusatory finger at Kaz. “What about you? You’re bitching about us, but you’re the least religious of us all.”
“I’m atheist, Nina, not clueless.” Kaz leveled her a look through the mirror. “There’s a reason I deny God. I’m positive in saying that I’m more familiar with Christianity than you are.”
Nina brought her hand to her heart, looking vastly offended. “How about you tell us where the hell we're going, exactly? You've kept this pretty damn vague for a trip so apparently serious.”
Jesper saw Kaz grip the steering wheel to control himself from retorting to Nina.
“The particular VBS we're volunteering at is run by Mount Zion Baptist Church of Nashville. Possibly you've heard of them. They run a children's and youth program every summer, where, for two weeks, youth volunteers and children retreat to the forests of Franklin to learn about and draw closer to Jesus. The youth aid the kids in learning, then are intermittently subjected to their own services.”
Wylan’s head shot up. Jesper jumped. He’d guessed that Wylan had been so detached thus far in an attempt to keep bad memories of the church at bay. Kaz had his full attention now, though.
“What?” he whispered.
He apparently didn't hear Wylan. That, or he was ignoring him—Kaz had been especially prickly today.
“This retreat has become particularly popular in recent years, especially around Nashville. We'll be staying in a very expensive lodging area, fit with a swimming pool and commons area.”
“So, a camp,” deadpanned Inej.
“Correct,” responded Kaz. “If there are any not aware, Tennessee has a rich history of Southern Baptism. Christian Nationalism runs deep there, and they're infamous for their mistreatment of minorities, women, and just about anyone who disagrees with them. That is why we have to drill this stuff into our heads. Not only for our own safety, but for the success of our community service assignments.”
“It won’t matter how much you know once you get there,” put in Wylan. “It’s whether or not you believe . They’ll be able to spot you as a fake in two seconds flat."
No one objected, they knew Wylan was right. And even if they did, the statement sounded too personal to be incorrect. Wylan was speaking from experience.
“If that's what it takes, then we better convince even ourselves that we’re Jesus freaks.”
Kaz punched a button on the center console, and the generic pop music that had been playing shut off.
“Hey–” Nina started.
“From now on, no more secular music. No more swearing. No more obscene jokes.” Jesper caught a stray glance at that one. “Even from me. If we’re to be allowed to stay here and teach these kids, we have to be convincing.”
Kaz turned his head away from the road to look at them. “I'm not giving up this opportunity, and if one of you screws it up, there will be consequences.”
No one spoke. Kaz brought himself back forward— Where he ought to be , thought Jesper. If he seriously wrecks this van I'm going to be pissed.
A certain unease crept its way around them all. More high stakes weren't what anyone wanted.
Wylan cleared his throat.
“This feels like a mission trip.”
“A what?” cut Kaz.
“A mission trip. You know, traveling to an area to help the people, and then forcing God onto them.”
Matthias visibly cringed. Jesper assumed they'd both experienced a mission trip. He did know what missionaries were, only because he had distinct memories of his father explaining them. He'd told Jesper, “If someone comes to the door holding a book and asks if they can talk to you, you scream and shut the door.”
Looking back, Jesper knew he'd said that to him for his own safety. The south wasn't always the best place for people like him and his mom—his dad knew that. He'd had his own less than positive experiences with the church in New England, where he was from, and he’d made it clear that he never wished to pass that on to Jesper.
How funny it was that now, he was traveling to a place not too far from his home state, to a Bible camp, of all places.
“I know that's not what we're doing—”
“It's not,” assured Kaz.
Wylan raised a brow. “But still. I don't like it.”
Kaz paused for a while before speaking.
“I personally love being an atheist. I'm sure you agree with me, Wylan.”
Matthias stiffened, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the notebook in his lap.
“I'm certainly not here to spread the word. I know that seems like a ridiculous statement, seeing as we're becoming church leaders, but trust me. No one here is forcing beliefs on anyone else.”
Matthias looked up then, straight at Wylan. “No, we aren't. Kaz is right.”
Nina smiled at Matthias, proud, then to Wylan. “We'll keep you safe. I promise.”
Wylan seemed to relax a bit.
His past with his father, the unmentionable Jan Van Eck, intertwined massively with religion. A member of the Presbyterian Consistory and a Representative in Congress, the man had certainly not lacked authority.
Wylan had explained it all to Jesper once—how his father had used religion to hurt him. How he'd told him he was sinful for refusing to read. His father would say that Wylan had been sent by God to test his faith. He’d say that Wylan was predestined to go to hell, that he was an embarrassment to him. A man who was so holy having such a sinful son reflected badly, made him look like a bad Christian.
And once his father had found out about Wylan’s sexuality, well… things certainly didn't get better.
Jesper would adore a chance to slap the ever-loving shit out of the man.
“Thank you,” muttered Wylan.
Jesper reached for his hand, found it, and squeezed. He hoped the motion was comforting.
“I still need you to help me whip Nina and Jesper into shape.”
Wylan grinned. “Where should we start?”
…
“Peter, John, Matthew, James, Simon, James—the other James, of course. Uhh…”
“Andrew,” inserted Wylan.
“Andrew—”
“Thomas.”
“Thomas—”
“Judas.”
“Right! Judas.”
Matthias pinched the bridge of his nose. They’d made it to Pennsylvania, and so far the memorization was not going well. They currently sat in a diner booth, pancakes and waffles on the way, probation officer looming over them from the corner.
It was hard to focus in a moving vehicle. The urge to zone out and look out the window was too strong. The uncomfortable position, with bags and people restricting his movement, made it even worse. He was trying, he really was, it was just hard.
Now that they sat in the booth, where he could relax in a normal sitting position, it was a little better. Still, his growling stomach distracted him from thinking of much else but food.
This trip would be particularly rough for Wylan, Jesper knew. Having to relive the worst parts of his childhood, his trauma, hurt in an extremely specific way. Jesper had vowed to help Wylan any chance he could during these next two weeks.
His brain refusing to remember the twelve disciples of Jesus definitely wasn't helping Wylan any. He cursed his damned attention issues.
“It's ok, Jes,” Wylan soothed. “You knew all the important ones. Besides Judas. You kinda need to know him.”
Inej snorted.
Of course Jesper had heard of Judas. It was hard to live in a Christian-dominated country without gaining some knowledge about the religion. He knew the word “gospel” and that Jesus died on a cross, and that Judas was a traitor. To say he knew much more might be stretching it.
They'd decided to start with basic information, like names and locations, before venturing into any actual story. That was another thing causing him to lose focus—things weren't interesting yet.
“But hey, it's more than some people who call themselves Christians could name,” finished Wylan. Kaz huffed at that.
“Wait! Paul! Isn't he one?”
“No, but he is considered an apostle.”
“Oh,” sighed Jesper.
“But I'm proud you remembered him.” Wylan reached up to place a chaste kiss on Jesper’s cheek, lips soft and warm. Now this might be one way to get him to remember.
“Do you remember the story of Paul?” asked Wylan, voice close to Jesper’s ear.
Shoot, what was it? Something about a horse? No, a donkey! That was it.
“Did his donkey tell him to repent?”
Wylan laughed. “Not exactly. But close enough.”
Jesper leaned down to return a kiss to Wylan’s cheek.
Kaz made a face at them. “Alright, save the PDA for the gas station bathroom.”
Wylan pulled away. “Once we get there, we actually will have to stop.”
Jesper’s stomach dropped at his words. He was well aware of the homophobia in the south, in many churches. Coming from Wylan, though, the paranoia just beginning to creep into his face, it hurt all anew.
Kaz nodded. “I know I said this before, but everyone listen up.”
He donned a grave expression. “I don't support any of the morals I'm pressing. I personally indulge in multiple of the seven deadly sins daily."
“Greed,” coughed Nina. Kaz shot her a side-eye.
“I don't want you two to have to hide your relationship, and the fact that you have to in the first place makes me sick. There's nothing I hate more than bigoted terfs—unfortunately I have a feeling that this camp is going to be full of them.”
He laid folded hands on the table. “We get in, convince them that we're fit to do the job, make sure no kids die while under our care, and get out. We're not there to make friends. We're not even there to spread the word of God, necessarily. We keep to ourselves as much as possible. Got it?”
Everyone nodded.
Their food arrived at the table. Kaz stuck out a gloved hand, inviting Matthias and Inej to join hands with him.
“Well? Shouldn't we pray before our meal?” he asked, a sardonic tone to his voice.
Inej glared at him before grabbing his hand. They all linked up, and were subsequently led in a beautiful prayer by Inej—if Jesper said so himself. Then again, he didn't have much to compare it to.
“Like I said.” Kaz stabbed a piece of waffle and brought it to his mouth. “Jesus freaks.”
Jesper sincerely hoped they made it through this.