Archive of Our Own ^beta

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When Berdly snapped awake, it took him more than a second to remember where he was. In the library, not that strange and hectic computer city he had been in moments ago. It had felt so extremely real, like a lucid dream without the control; he found himself extremely relieved when Noelle mumbled something about it all being a dream. Of course it had been a dream, it would be silly to think otherwise. However, it did seem somewhat strange that they had all wok-

“OHMYGODWHATTIMEISIT” Berdly shouted, looking in disbelief at his watch. He was nearly an hour late for his “job” with Mrs. Boom. He thought of poor Mrs. Boom, setting out hymnals and arranging bells without any help, and frantically gathered his things. As he was subconsciously enjoying the texture of his stack of books, he looked up to see Kris and Susie; another massive shock.

Susie had a small smirk, like she knew something he didn’t (impossible), and had her arms crossed. She gave a small “hey” as Berdly looked around in disbelief. The whole ordeal was seeming a bit fuzzy in retrospect, but he didn’t remember her ever approaching him and Noelle during their study sesh. And he certainly didn’t remember Kris being there. Kris accosted him with the same, eerie, dead face they had shown a billion times before, not making the effort to greet either him nor Noelle. 

As he and Noelle were hurrying out of the room, Berdly could not help but think about his dream. His eyes were locked on Kris, the human staring back as the mental image of Kris in that silvery, stoic armor rotated in his mind. For whatever reason, he had dreamed about the whole group, with Kris taking up somewhat of a leadership position. That’s what made Berdly sure it was a dream: Kris was not exactly an assertive person. They’re asleep probably 60% of the time Berdly sees them, slumped over in class or at lunch. But, there was something about what he saw in his dream; confident and really quite heroic Kris, working to help him get rid of that weird facehugger wire thing Queen had trapped him in. The image of them marching at the front of the line stuck in his focus, no matter how hard he tried to think about what he needed to grab to prepare to get to church. 

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Susie had been following Kris’s slow combing of the town for a while now, finding amusement in all the nooks, crannies, and people Kris seems to find their way to. Checking under every rug, in every cabinet, talking and listening to every single person that was brave enough to speak to the stone face of Kris; it was refreshing for Susie. Gave her a great reason to get out of the apartment. In fact, their whole newfound friendship had been pretty nice. She would never fully admit it to smug-ass Kris, but all the adventure and fun had been a… a nice change of pace for Susie. 

Eventually, after touring through Castle Town and a fun as hell time with Lancer, they found themselves in their classroom. Susie found it strange that Kris had wanted to go in here, as they usually enjoyed this room most when face down and drooling. The setting sun was spilling over the desks, giving the whole room a nice glo-

“Berdly.” Kris said softly, planted in front of the forwardmost center desk. They were looking down at it with a curious (?) eye, Susie always found it impossible to tell what Kris was really thinking most of the time anyway. 

“Yeah, that’s the little twerp’s desk, right? He’s lucky he helped out so much back there. He was reallllyyyy getting on my nerves, interrupting me and…” Susie trailed off, recalling her conversation with Noelle. “Y’know, interrupting everything with his… Berdlyness,” she said, clearing her throat.

Kris thought on that for a little, still staring at the desk. “Not so bad,” they said somewhat softly, like it was a secret or something.

Susie scoffed. “I mean, he could be worse. It’s good that he got some self reflection, I guess. I’m not sure how much he’ll take to heart about that whole ‘embracing stupid’ thing. Not really sure he even got the right message…” Susie thought back to the puzzles, and Berdly’s strange monologue and explanations. She supposed there wasn’t anything really wrong with him, but that didn’t stop her from hoping he would get less annoying soon. “Anyway, at least he’s mostly harmless.”

Kris didn’t respond to that one, and only stared at the desk for a few moments longer before they started off again on their strange and unexplainable path. 

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Eventually, the pair reached the sterile, white building of the hospital. Kris led them through the doors, into the waiting area with Nurse Big Mouth. After Kris mashed their hand onto the miniature piano, in some attempt to prove to Susie they could play, the two stumbled upon Noelle and Mr. Holiday. The pair were talking about a videogame, Rudy’s condition, Noelle’s mother; seemingly anything to spend time together. It took them a second to notice Kris and Susie standing awkwardly at the door, with Susie trying to look like she hadn’t just been eavesdropping on a very private conversation, and Kris looking as rigid as usual. 

“Susie?? What are you doing here???” Noelle said with a look of horror scrawled across her face; almost like she hadn’t expected her to barge into her father’s hospital room unannounced. Oh well, it’s a small town and such. Just before she rushed out, Susie caught a hushed conversation between Noelle and her father, something about this being the susie he had heard so much about. Susie figured she must not have heard them clearly, because she couldn’t think of any good reason for them to talk about her. She didn’t think Noelle was rude enough to bring up some of the more personal rumors she may or may not have heard about Susie, so the whole thing was confusing. 

Susie couldn’t help but dimly wonder about Noelle as she rushed by her; the way she clutched her books to her chest and her nose let off a faint glow. She hoped the deer wasn’t too scared of her. Although she would never admit it, Susie tried to make sure that the only people truly scared of her were the ones who deserved it, and Noelle seemed like the least worthy. Especially after the kinda nice time they’d had in the Cyber World (not like Noelle would put much stock in “Dream Susie” anyway.) Speaking of, Susie realized she’d have to do more investigation about this new side of Noelle she mentioned on that cheesy ferris wheel. Scary movies and heights, all that stuff. Susie thought that she would have to beat the info out of the forever-obstinant Kris, since they were the one who used to be friends with her when they were kids. 

“Hey, Kris.” Susie said as they were walking out of the hospital. “You used to be super close with Noelle, right? What’s her deal? Other than, y’know…” Susie lowered her voice. “...the dark world frost magic stuff.”

Kris kept walking as they thought, only stopping to answer. “Festive.” they answered.

Susie flicked them on the back of the head. “Yeah, dickwad, I know that. Hell, anyone with eyes knows that.” She huffed. “You know, what’s she like outside of that?  When she’s not being the Mayor’s perfect little daughter.”

Kris had started to walk again, but the question gave them pause. They gave a little hum, and said “Weird. And cool, like her s-” They stopped for a second before saying “Talk to Catti. They’re friends.” They turned their head to give Susie a glance over their shoulder. “Why?”

Susie felt herself burn under the teasing and conspiratorial glare. “No reason, stupid. Just figured I might as well know the face we just spent a day saving from being robotized.”  When the glare didn’t break, Susie couldn’t bear the awkward silence and look away. “Ah, forget it. Fuck you too.” Then, she stopped for a second, finally processing what Kris had said. “Wait, Noelle and Catti are friends? The hell?”

Kris resumed their wander as if she had said nothing at all. “Got it.” 

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Susie was slumped over the edge of the couch in a position that Kris thought she would definitely regret in the morning. The monster movie was still blaring in the background as Kris slid off the couch like a snake, careful not to make too much noise. They crept over to the kitchen to make a snack for themselves. 

Kris treasured these silent moments, where the loudness of their life faded away and they got a moment away from the control and the craziness. As much as they appreciated having such interesting and unique friends, Kris couldn’t really help but feel like something was missing. Someone who didn’t have anything for them to do; no dark worlds to close and no, y’know, missing people to find. Susie was relaxing in that way, and Kris was very glad to have their first real friend in a long time, but they couldn’t help but wonder what happened after the whole fountain thing was over. The thought of having no one that wasn’t wrapped up in this weird-ass fantasy thing was a bit concerning to them. Anyway, those were thoughts Kris didn’t really want to have while enjoying time with Susie. 

As Kris poured an overwhelming amount of chocolate syrup into the milk glass, they thought about all they had seen during the day. One thing was crystal clear: Noelle had the hots for Susie. It was bad enough to involve her father, apparently; a real mark of effort for the eternally parental-concered Noelle. It was also pretty clear Susie was not exactly… observant enough to see it for herself. Maybe it was Susie not wanting to think about the possibility, maybe she was just blissfully ignorant; no matter what, Kris had to clear the fog. 

Kris figured getting the two of them together would be pretty damn funny. Plus, also, there was the personal synergy they shared. Noelle needed to break free, Susie needed to smooth some edges, etc. etc. But really, it would mostly be funny to see Noelle squeak over Susie more. They downed the sludgy milk in one gulp, taking care to mash their face into the paper towel roll and avoid dirtying their precious sweater. The question was: how? Kris wasn’t all that close to Noelle after what happened, and she might get suspicious if they do too much meddling. No, they needed help. What Kris really needed was…

… a man on the inside.  

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Kris grimly opened the door, covered in mud and shrubbery. They tried to climb back up the side wall for a humiliating amount of time; every fall made them gladder Berdly had gone home so suddenly. They had been attempting, in vain, to avoid the scene facing them. Her mother and the skeleton were dancing to an old song that Kris vaguely recalled from their childhood, the Jitterbuzz or the Jumbobop or something. Kris had always liked it when they were younger, but those feelings were currently being trampled by a pair of bony feet. Toriel was simultaneously holding a wine glass in one hand and Sans with the other. Kris realized, in horror, that their mother was sloshed.

The pair stopped as Kris stepped in from the night. The old tunes played on irrespective of them, lightly shaking the creaky floorboards with nostalgia and bass. “Kris!” Toriel exclaimed, cheeks flushed red. “W-whag are you doing up, sweetie honey pie?” Sans just stared with that same, knowing smile that Kris had once found amusing but had grown to truly despise.

“Fell out of my window.” Said Kris, deadpan. A cool breeze followed them through the door, blowing their wet and clumped hair. They began to trudge towards the stairs, trying to avert their eyes from the scandalous hand-holding. 

Toriel giggled, then burst out laughing. She had to hold her knees just to catch her breath enough to speak. Kris couldn’t understand it; there couldn’t have been more than a quarter of the bottle missing, and most of it seemed to still be in her mother’s glass. “Oh, my child,” she said with a hic. “You knock me out!” 

Kris just kept walking. “I’m going to bed.” They considered saying goodnight, but a thought crossed their mind that the pair might not be going to bed for… a while. They shuddered and tried to shove that image as deep as humanly possible.

“Make sure you don’t…” Toriel looked up with a barely contained laugh. “TIRE YOURSELF OUT BAGAHAGHHAA!!” She gripped her stomach and fell onto the floor, with Sans deftly grabbing her glass before it shattered. Kris didn’t even get the stupid joke.

They were starting up the stairs as Sans turned to them, saying, “Hey, kid. Sorry if this is weird. Just… helping your mom relax. Sleep tight, we’re gonna turn it up down here.” 

Only on the first step, Kris whipped their head to the side, tried to put on an angry face, and mouthed out " Trespasser " to the skeleton. He didn’t even look tipsy. With a snort, they marched up the stairs and slammed the door to their room. 

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Kris was beginning to suspect there weren’t enough pillows in the world to drown out the rimshots they were hearing downstairs. The pair had been in a pun-battle for hours (where the fuck did he even get the drums??????) while Kris had been writhing on their bed, desperately looking for a position that drowned them out. Kris felt kind of ashamed to be so mad about their mother having fun, but it was hard, OK? Sans and their mother talked a lot more naturally than Toriel ever had with their dad, and Kris was feeling a stupid, confusing ball of emotions.

Eventually, Kris attempted to center themself. Breathing exercises, clearing of the mind, all of that. They went through the stuff one of their psychiatrists had recommended to them when they were a little kid: spelling. Helps soothe the brain, or something. 

“ Umm, how about Zebra? Z- Zoinks, Zipper,  Zany… E- Electric, Evil, Eclipse… B- Bridge, Bomb, Bird, uhm, Berdly… Berdly? ”

Kris’s eyes snapped open. The fuck? Why the hell were they thinking about Berdly? Alright, they might be friends, but Kris didn’t usually find themself thinking about him in the dead of night. Much more a “B Plot” kind of guy, you know? It had only been recently that they had connected in a way other than on-again-off-again gaming pals. Kris realized, with a start, that Berdly had been acting a lot more… bearable… than usual. It was a strange feeling, holding a conversation with him and not wanting to wring his cute little neck. But it seems like the shit he went through in the dark world got through to him. In horror, Kris realized that they would probably have to (or even want to) hang with him after their scheme to get Susie and Noelle together. The two would probably… bond while playing matchmaker. Kris was used to one, max two friends. Now, they were reaching four. It was DEFCON 1 of maintaining a mysterious and standoffish aura. Soon they'd be smiling in public. 

As the frantic, overlapping rimshots coming from below faded into the back of their mind, Kris was reminded of their first real memory of that blue fuck, before the spelling bee thing went to his head. 

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It was a few years before Noelle and Kris got all weird, when Azzy was in 9th grade or so and was old enough to watch Kris. Noelle and Kris were kids back then, gossiping about Dess and Azzy while their brother was locked in small talk with Mrs. Holiday. Kris distinctly remembered Carol being a lot happier back then; she hadn’t started smoking yet, and didn’t have such a fatal case of RBF. Besides the point, though.  

Kris and Noelle had been sitting in the wood chips after school, excitedly swapping stories about their older siblings, before Azzy broke free from his politeness and the two were led back to their homes. Noelle had just told Kris the story about finding the pair making out behind the house, and she was practically hyperventilating when the pair heard a voice over their shoulders. 

“U-Um, Hey!” said a small, tweeting voice. The two froze like animals caught stealing, and turned around to see a very young Berdly. He hadn’t gotten his trademark white button-up yet, and was wearing a too-tight tee shirt that said ‘ Gamers, Assemble! ’ with a poorly drawn bootleg Captain Monster America. “Did you guys know that, factually, those wood chips could spontaneously combust? Put them under enough pressure, and they just start burning!” He sounded like he was reading off of some unseen script, practiced a thousand times.

The gossipers stopped for a second, then burst into giggles. Kris couldn’t remember if they found the fact funny or if they were just laughing at how awkward he was. Thinking about it made them a little uncomfortable. Noelle broke first: “Wait — we could just start burning if we sit hard enough?” 

Berdly gave a stilted chuckle, obviously nervous about the expectant stares he was receiving. “N-not if you guys don’t weigh like- like a billion tons, hhaaha.” 

The three just waited there for a bit, with Berdly leaning over Noelle and Kris and nervously smiling. Eventually, he offered a wing.

“My name is Berdenard, I, uh, just got here.” Kris distinctly remembered two things: the faintly sweaty sensation of his shaking hand (?), and seeing a brown and red bird in an expensive suit standing a ways behind him. Kris had never met Berdly’s dad before, but they knew it had to be him who was leaning against the wall with a too-nice suit and thumbing through his phone. 

“Berdenard?” Kris had asked, incredulous. The pair had found it hilarious and made it the central point of conversation, derailing the bluebird’s fun fact spiel. He soldiered through their ridicule, even sitting down to laugh along with their jokes. Noelle and Kris had talked about his full name (Berdenard Steever Lombardi) for, must have been, 20 minutes. The two had turned into stand-up comedians, thinking of dozens of new, inventive ways to laugh at-

A hollow ache settled in Kris’s chest as the memory twisted around in their mind, awkward and kind of regretful. They hadn’t thought about this conversation in a while. Noelle and Kris had been so caught up in their Hometown world of rumors and grown-ups. To them, Berdly had just been an outsider, like a painting hung askew in a gallery. Kris told themselves that they hadn’t meant to be so cruel; they were just unaware of how delicate he was back then. They couldn’t remember the last time they had seen him be like that, without any performance. Their friendship had been half a joke for as long as Kris could remember, even after Noelle started helping him and accepting his little quirks. Even stuff Kris did willingly, like the gaming sessions, Kris would always recount the silly and stupid things he said to Azzy.  Kris felt a knot slowly tighten around their stomach as every giggle, joke, and laugh they had had behind his back came bubbling up.  

Kris took a deep breath and thought back through the memory. The edges of the scene started to blur as Kris drifted off, free from thoughts of skeletons and step-dads. This time, Kris imagined standing up and hugging the young bird. This time, when Kris touched him, he wasn’t trembling. 

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“Alright, students, next we’re going to hear Noelle and Berdly present on early 20th-century animation! Please make sure to take notes on the changes and consistencies of the turn of the century.” Alphys fumbled with her computer, putting a beautifully made intro slide up on the board. 

Susie’s eyes slowly fluttered open. Something had woken her up, but she wasn’t exactly sure what. All she could see was Noelle, looking very smart and put-together as she went through all these weird French names and showed pictures of old-ass camera-looking things. That didn’t seem like something that could wake her up, though maybe it had just been Noelle’s voice…

“ Ow! ” whispered Susie. Someone had just thrown something at her head. She whipped to the left as the pencil clattered across the floor, seeing Kris with their head on the desk, staring at her. Their eyes rolled up towards the presentation, and they jerked their head in Noelle’s general direction. “ What? ” whispered Susie. Kris squinted like they were attempting to speak telepathically, then gave up with a little roll of their eyes. With a twist of their head, they put their chin back flat on the desk, staring at the pair as they spoke at the front of the class.

Susie had no clue what the point of waking her up had even been, but she guessed Kris would probably have something stupid and cryptic to say about it after class. They always seemed like they were trying to live their life on as few words as possible; Susie found it infuriating but also pretty cool. She figured the best way to fall back asleep was to pay attention to the presentation, and she was gonna need all the sleep she could get before Kris and her went up next. 

Noelle was dressed in the same kind of sweater as usual, cheesy with bright holidayish colors and a hand-knit feel. She had always wondered where the hell the deer had gotten so many sweaters, or if they were DIY. As usual, the sweater was covering up a more formal outfit. Noelle had once mentioned that her mom always wanted the Holidays to dress nicely in public, something about “maintaining a public image” and politics. Politics shmolitics, Susie knew that Noelle had to be a little bored with the constant formality. She had to have some kind of fashion sense of her own, right? Susie found herself wondering what kind of stuff the deer would wear if their mother was chiller; emo stuff, or like sweatpants, or maybe sporty like Jockington. 

Ever since the cyber world, Susie had found herself wondering more about what Noelle was like under the mask. She had been much too fearful of Free Ham Sandwich Day-related retribution to talk to Catti about her, but she still needed info. With a sigh, she came to terms with the fact that she’d just have to interrogate Kris a little more. It’s not like her curiosity was going away anytime soon. 

Susie’s train of thought was interrupted by the sound of light applause, as Noelle did a little curtsy and walked back to her seat. Oh, and Berdly was there too. “Alright, next, we’re going to hear Kris and Susie talk about, um, early 20th century warfare…” Alphys looked up from the assignment sheet. “Kris, it’s not too gory, right?” 

Kris had already stood, giving an innocent smile and bringing their laptop over to the projector. “Don’t worry, I put a lot of censor bars in.” They flicked Susie on her head on the way over. 

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Noelle was struggling to take notes on the presentation. It wasn’t really even a presentation, per se, more like an avant-garde art piece. There were maybe a dozen words uncensored, like “there,” “some,” or “England.” The pictures were also mostly useless; the only thing poking out from the heavy lattice of censor bars was the terrified eyes of the soldiers. Kris was looking very proud of themselves as they read from their notes, explaining the origins and consequences of Monster WW1 like nothing was out of the ordinary. Susie must not have been in on the joke, because she looked just as confused as her teacher and classmates. Like usual, when she was confused, she was making that cute little squint, like she was trying as hard as she could to wrap her head around the slideshow. She always had the funniest expressions; it was one of the things that had thrown Noelle into such a hopeless cru-

Noelle shook her head, willing herself to focus on the schoolwork at hand. Class was no place for wishful thinking. Unfortunately, she was finding it very hard to focus on Kris’s deadpan explanation of chlorine gas and other horrible things. She knew the topic already and had looked through so many old sources that she could have presented on any area from the time without preparation. Instead, she was idly doodling on the margins of the paper. For a while now, she had been working on her sketch of Godzilla . The franchise was very bingeable, perfect for being in the background while Noelle worked and daydreamed about horror flicks. 

After a while, when Kris was talking about V. I. Lichin, Noelle finished her lizard sketch and moved onto simpler doodles. She was drawing fun stuff, like little hearts, little snowflakes, or little purple axes, when a thought crossed her mind. The dream conversation about Susiezilla. She wondered what Susie would think of the horror stuff Noelle liked. She seemed like the classmate who would probably be most chill with horror, other than Catti and Kris. Hypothetically, it might be a nice way for Susie to get to know Noelle, but, uh, Noelle had no idea how that would even happen. She was trying to imagine herself inviting Susie to watch something when Kris abruptly shut their laptop, giving Noelle a little jump.

“And that’s how a guy shooting another guy gave birth to the Soviet Union. Thank you for your attention.” Kris immediately walked back to their seat, leaving Susie up at the front with an empty whiteboard. They didn’t say anything, but Noelle thought she caught Kris looking at her doodles as they walked past. Noelle didn’t dare turn around; she just knew Kris was staring at her.

Susie blinked at the class, abandoned at the front like a stagehand missing a script. “Uh, yeah. What they said,” she mumbled, scratching the back of her neck before power-walking back to her seat, cheeks tinged faintly pink. 

“A-Alright, class,” Alphys said, looking at her watch. “It looks like we’ll have to postpone our last few presentations till monday. Great job, everyone!” Her students, of course, ignored her and had already begun to pack their things before the bell rang. 

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Susie found that Fall’s far away chill was most apparent on the train tracks. She didn’t know why, but here and only here it overpowered the early-summer humidity and cut through her clothes with dry wind. Nevertheless, Kris loved it here. They would often drag the lizard to the abandoned tracks to aimlessly walk the rails, talking about everything and nothing. They had been trudging along for a while now in silence, taking in the trees that would soon be turning all sorts of yellows and oranges. 

Susie broke the silence. “Nice presentation, by the way. Real dork shit.”

She heard a snicker. “Next time, the project’s on you. I’ve been losing sleep with all the dumbass work I’ve been doing.” 

Susie thought back to class, how she had noted the dark circles and bruises on Kris’s face. “Yeah, I bet so. You looked like shit today, more than usual. What were you doing instead of snoozing last night, a fight club? Sparring with Jockington in your spare time?”

“I was making out with Berdly in the woods.”

Susie was usually used to the weird stuff Kris said, but this was another level. She stopped walking in shock, staring at the back of Kris’s head as they continued to move across the metal tracks. “What the fuck? Are you joking?”

Kris spun around with a devilish grin. “Yeah,” they said softly. “But wouldn’t that be funny?” They turned, resuming their walk. 

“Dude, more like horrifying. If I had to deal with you and that feathery freak locking beaks all the time, I’d jump off the bell tower.” She chuckled and followed after Kris.

Kris groaned and let out a laugh. “Oh, come on. He’s not a freak. He’s like a, uh, like a fossil. Pretty cool, but you gotta get your hands dirty first.”

“Yeah, I think I’m good on that one. Anyway, our presentation kicked their presentation’s ass. We had the best in the class by far.”

Kris was turned away from her, but she could hear the smile in their voice. “Are you sure? You sure seemed interested in the stuff Miss Ice Queen was talking about…”

“Can it, Kris! It’s uh-it hurts to look at Berdbrain for too long, so yeah, I focus on Noelle when they’re presenting. Sue me! Yeah!” Susie was glad she was walking behind the human; one can only imagine the ridicule she would face about the soft blush she took on whenever Noelle was mentioned. 

Kris snorted. “Nice save. Real conv-” Suddenly, a light classical piano tune started playing, and they whipped out their phone. “ Speak of the devil… ” they muttered, and put the phone to their ear. 

“Berdman! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Kris turned to Susie, looking up at the sky. Susie thought they sounded kind of excited. “Oh shit, yeah, I meant to text you about that. How’s 1 look? Perfect. Listen, I’d love to talk more, but I’m out with one of-” They looked quickly at Susie. “I’m out with a Purple Nurple here, and I’ve got to go. See you, Berdly.” They closed the flip phone.

Susie laughed. “Someone sounds eager. Planning another hot makeout sesh?”

“Nah. Prank I’m playing on him,” said Kris, which seemed like a shockingly likely explanation. “Hey, speaking of planning, I was thinking about going down to the diner for lunch tomorrow. It’s the weekend and all, and I haven't been in a long time.”

“Dude,” said Susie, emotionless. “I’m broke.”

“I got you, man. My mom, uh, paid me for helping with gardening. It’s burning a hole in my pocket, you know.”

Susie thought back to the Ham Sandwich debacle of last year. “Not sure I’m too welcome there, but yeah, I love that place. I’ve got nothing going on this weekend anyway.”

“Don’t worry,” Kris said with a smirk, “I know the staff. That’s perfect. Meet me at my house at, say, 12:50 tomorrow?”

“Shit, sure. Sounds good to me.”

“Great. Speaking of hiding stuff — did you hear about Alphys’s totally-not-her ‘anonymous’ anime reviews?” Kris turned, resuming the conversation as normal and continuing down the tracks.

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Berdly was stuffing his phone in his pocket as he came around the corner back to the dinner table. As he sat back down, he said, “Sorry about that, had to take a, ummmmm, work call. Mrs. Boom needed something.”

“That’s alright, Berdly,” said Carol. He was over at Noelle’s house for dinner while his parents were on another one of their business trips, a little tradition the Holidays liked to do while their house was so empty. “So, how did your presentation go today, Noelle?”

Noelle looked up from her microwave meatloaf. “Oh, it was really good. Alphys specifically pulled us aside after class to say how much she liked it.”

Berdly piped up. “Yeah, but she was mostly interested in the early anime we talked about. I think if we had mentioned Mew Mew Kitty, she would have fainted. I hadn’t realized just how much of a fellow nerd-tacular person she was.”

Carol looked up from her texts after a second, giving a small smile and sipping her wine. “Well, that’s nice. She always seemed like a good sort. Big shoes to fill, and all. And where are your parents tonight, Berdly?”

“My dad’s in Singapore, trying to set up a finance firm there with his software, and my mom is in Seattle with some old work friends. She doesn’t work at the company anymore, but I think she’s celebrating some kind of big financial milestone or something.” Noelle couldn’t help but notice the way his tone drooped as he continued. 

“Well, Noelle, we should be glad your father is just down the street. That’s more than some families can say.” She was already back on her phone before either teen could respond, flicking through emails like she hadn’t said anything at all. The words hung in the air like cobwebs while the students silently ate their dry meat and gravy. They sat like that for a while. Noelle poked at the meal. Berdly stayed quiet. Carol’s fork clinked once, twice, then she stood and carried her plate to the kitchen without another word. The second she was gone, the students stood up in sync, like they’d been waiting for a starter pistol. The students, of course, immediately retreated to Noelle’s room. Once the mayor was out of earshot, they finally spoke.

“S-Sorry about that…” She found she couldn’t look at him, and her voice sounded kind of high and strained. 

Berdly gave a nervous chuckle. “Your mother has a way with words, Noelle. She would be perfect in a true crime podcast. It’s ok, though, comments like that can’t faze me.” He gave a reassuring smirk.

Noelle looked away as she sat on her bed. “Yeah…”

Berdly cleared his throat. He looked like he was desperate to change the subject. “Hey, Noelle, I was thinking about ways to repay you for your oh-so-generous dinners. Nights like this would be unbearable without your help. I was thinking, as a thank you, we could get lunch at the diner tomorrow? On me.”

Noelle blinked, and he frantically added on, “AS FRIENDS! Obviously, haha.” His hands shot up, as if in surrender.

Noelle smiled. “I get what you mean, you don’t have to say it like that, faha. I always like messing with Catti while she’s working, so yeah, sounds great!”

“Nice! How about 1 or so?” Berdly seemed to have a genuine smile on his face, like anti-smug.

“Sure!” Noelle was a little hesitant: it sounded like one of Berdly’s old maybe-dates he used to be obsessed with. On the other hand, she hadn’t hung out with Berdly outside of homework and family dinners in a while. It might be nice to talk without her mom hanging in the background (and she was already looking forward to seeing Catti in that ridiculous uniform).

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It was night by the time Berdly left, trudging back to this empty apartment. He thought about his genius scheme as he tossed his keys up into the air and caught them. It seemed that Susie and Noelle were just like the keys: on a predestined path. He had been unsure when Kris first pointed out their affections, but it was obvious now. Only a matter of time; he was already looking forward to lunch tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Kris finally rolled out of bed at 11:45 AM. They had been in a desperate dream-battle against the mental manifestation of their alarm for an hour by then, and rubbed the crud out of their eyes only to realize just how late they were. Susie would be outside, literally, any minute. They stood up in a hurry, throwing open their closet and grabbing blindly. As always, they withdrew one of their dozen identical green and yellow striped sweaters and brown pants. Quickly, they threw off their goat PJs and changed before throwing themselves down the stairs. 

As they passed through the kitchen, they stopped; they hadn’t eaten dinner before snoozing last night and had one of the loudest stomach aches they had ever felt. Kris spun around, yanking open the refrigerator to see if their mother had left anything- oh. Kris slowly closed the fridge, their appetite completely gone. There had been a singular bottle of ketchup nestled beside the milk. 

————————————————————

When Kris stepped outside, Susie was waiting. It was precisely 11:50, by some miracle. 

“Woah, look at you, you little punctual fuck. I thought I was gonna have to throw little rocks at your window,” said Susie, her hands in her pockets. Looked like she was trying to be nonchalant.

Kris had been walking down the driveway, but they stopped and turned. “You’re here on time, too.” They kept walking. 

Susie looked away, contemplating. “Hm. Fair point, but you’re still a lazy-ass.” She looked back, but Kris was already walking away. “Wait up!” she said, running after them.

“Why do you always sleep so late, anyway? Kinda looks like you just got out of bed.” Kris took a second and pulled out their flip phone, taking a quick, deadpan selfie with Susie to analyze their hair. They had a terminal case of bedhead, made worse by the static from pulling on their sweater. 

“I was dreading spending time with you,” said Kris, smiling at Susie before continuing their walk to the diner. “Also, I just like my bed. Always have.”

“Weirdo. I get into fights with my bed sometimes.” She said it like it was an ordinary thing to say.

Kris looked back. “The fuck you mean you ‘fight your bed?” 

“Sometimes the springs poke up, and I gotta beat the fuck out of it! The mattress is, like, fifty years old or something. Not my fault, man.” She shoved her hands back in her pockets, indignant. 

Kris ignored her strange anecdote as they reached the diner. This had to go perfectly . Any more of this cheesy “ She likes her, but she’s too oblivious to tell! ” act, and Kris would simply have to lock them in a tight space together until they started making out. 

————————————————————

Berdly woke up, as always, at 5:30. It had by now become a well-practiced routine; one he had been performing since the 5th grade. He got out of bed, fumbling with his phone until it began to softly play his classical playlist. Today, the shuffle chose for him Howard Hanson’s Symphony No.2, Op.30, “Romantic” . It was one of Berdly’s personal favorites; it made him wish he had joined an orchestra so he could play it himself. He groggily picked up his smart watch and marked down some of his sleep metrics: he had been running an open-ended experiment for a while to find his “optimal sleep position.” Results were inconclusive so far. Sleep latency, REM percentages, and heart rate; nothing ever changed, no matter what he did. 

No time to dwell on his sleep frustrations. Berdly had a busy morning routine planned, and he only had 6 and a half hours before his lunch with Kris! And Susie, and Noelle, obviously. Berdly did some light stretching to prepare himself for the day, and walked to the bathroom. 

Berdly believes in taking care of himself, and an enjoyable diet and a rigorous mental exercise routine. In the morning, if his face is a little puffy, he’ll put on an ice pack while going through flashcards. The bluebird can answer a thousand questions now. After he removes the ice pack, he uses a deep feather oil cleanser. In the shower, he uses a water-activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an anti-clumping gel scrub. He then applies an herb mint eye mask, which he leaves on for 10 minutes while he prepares the rest of his routine. Berdly always use a preening gel with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. 

After finishing hygiene, Berdly moves into the kitchen to begin his pre-breakfast studying. Now, he’s preparing for his Early 20th Century history test, coming up next week. Although most of the time, the hours he spends going through study guides, notes, and flashcards in the morning are a formality, he’s been having serious trouble with this topic in particular. For the life of him, Berdly couldn’t ascertain why this portion of history was so difficult. A thought crossed his mind as he was going over the power structures of pre-revolution Russia: what if his current failure was more of a result of the time he had been spending having friends rather than any particularly hard content? He couldn’t imagine what his parents’ reactions would be if he said that out loud– best not to think about it. He put away the packet and pulled out the newspaper, setting to work on that day’s Sudoku. Seven minutes and twelve seconds. Not world-record pace, sure, but fast enough to imagine a Monster TED Talk about it. 

After that, Berdly took a second to pull out his speech and debate journal. He didn’t remember who first suggested the journal—some cousin, maybe an uncle—but it worked. It gave him a plan. It felt like that cool, high-tech armor he had had in the dream he couldn’t forget. If he had sentences ready and rules to follow, then the day couldn’t spin off the rails. He wouldn’t accidentally put off anyone. He was writing down some light conversation starters, notes for the important lunch where he hoped to matchmake, and general things to remember ( I.E. “Pauses are ok. No need to fill every gap of silence”, “People might laugh because they like you!”) when his phone started playing Tomaso Albinoni’s Adagio in G minor , another favorite of his. Its quiet and introspective feeling made him imagine what life must have been like for his noble ancestors in Lombardy—dueling with quills, composing operas, and founding libraries. Berdly had no clue if he was actually from Lombardy, but come on. 

Berdly had been listening to a TED Talk on the mind behind Linux (1.75x speed, of course) while he brewed his morning lemon and ginseng tea when he heard the door open. His father stepped in at exactly 6:53, looking like a corpse. “Hey, Dad,” said Berdly, pulling out an earbud. “How was the redeye?” 

“Meh,” he replied, rubbing his eyes and setting his large briefcase on the table. “Stewardesses were slow.” He sat, slumped into the seat at the head of the table. “What are you doing up this early? Isn’t it Saturday here?”

Berdly looked down at his mug as he poured in a precise teaspoon of caffeine powder. “I’m always up this early, Dad, remember?”

He nodded, closing his eyes. “Yeah, forgot about that…”

Berdly sipped his tea, perfect and just the same as every other morning. “How was Singapore?”

“It was Bangkok, I think. And good, but I didn’t see much—just hotels and business parks. Probably for the best.” 

Berdly grabbed his toast out of the toaster, spreading on his favorite rose jam. It paired perfectly with his tea and reduced bloating, delicious and functional. “I’m getting lunch with Noelle, Kris, and Susie today,” he happily remarked as he brought his breakfast over with him to the table. 

This caused his father to sit up in his seat. “What for? Also, hold on, Susan and Kris? I didn’t know you…” His father was searching for the right word. “...associated with them.”

Berdly had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Not his typical move, but he had picked up the habit from Kris. “I’ve been friends with Kris for a while, and I’m mutual friends with Susie. We’re playing matchmaker, trying to get Noelle and Susie together.” He chuckled. “Kris put me up to it.”

“Susan and Noelle?” his father said, incredulous. “Wait, but they’re both girls, aren’t they?”

Berdly gave his father a pointed look as he enjoyed his toast.

“Not–not that there’s anything wrong with that, I guess. It’s just… You know… Isn’t there anyone better for Noelle? She’s always been so sweet, and so… not Susan.”

Although Susie had never been particularly nice to Berdly (outside of that weird dream), he found his voice rising to defend her. “You don’t know her. She and Kris are great friends, she’s-”

He was cut off by his father, mumbling, “ I know her mother, though… ” This gave Berdly pause; he didn’t know what to say. 

After an awkward beat, his father cleared his throat. “Sorry, let's change subjects. How’s test prep going? 16th century, wasn’t it?”

Berdly lied through his beak. “20th century, Dad, and it’s going fine. I was reading through it before you came in.” 

“Good, good. I know I say it all the time, son, but every single test is important. One point could be the difference between Howlvard and Hometown State, or whatever the hell the community ‘college’  is called around here.”

Berdly gave a held-in sigh, trying to find some words. All he could come up with was “I know, Dad.”

“Top of the class means something here, sure. But Howlvard won’t give a damn unless you’re blowing everyone out of the water. Too small a town, too little competition from these hick shits. You’ve got to rise above. You know, when Viroella was your age, she was doing interviews with colleges. Real ones, not like those postcards your mother set up. Might not be a bad idea. My brother was just saying on the phone just how proud he was of her; I want that for you, Squirt. I just, I want to see that kind of drive from you.” He leaned up on the table, staring at his son. 

Berdly’s left eye was twitching, something that had been happening when his parents mentioned stupid, prissy Viroella , and his good mood was ruined. He took a very slow, measured sip of his tea. He thought back to his reminders. Clearly, it was time to breathe, de-escalate, and exit gracefully. Like a tumor in surgery.

He mumbled a quick “I should iron my shirt, sorry. Enjoy your breakfast.” The bluebird grabbed his plate and his mug and spedwalked off to his room, spending the rest of his morning compulsively cleaning. He destroyed the creases in his shirt, preened in the mirror, and wiped away any stray dust on his glasses. At least in here, he was in control. 

————————————————————

The gates opened automatically as Noelle walked from the garden to the street. Berdly was silently tapping on his phone, waiting for her with a listless expression.

“Hey, Berdly!” Noelle said, speaking over the grinding of the gate as it slowly swung open. “How are you? Hungry?”

Berdly looked at his phone for a moment longer before slipping it into his pocket and putting on a smile. “Hey, Noelle. Yeah, I’m starving, excited to go over. I can’t remember the last time I went to this place.”

The pair started off towards the diner. “So, um, Noelle, how is your studying progressing on that history test?”

Noelle snickered. “Come on, Berdly, this is our one chance to talk about something other than school.”

He gave a stilted laugh. “Yes, well, I was only asking to make sure you felt prepared. I’m not concerned about it at all, anyway.”

“So, you’re working with Mrs. Boom again tonight, right? What do you even do for her?”

He smiled. “Well, mostly I just help set up for the preschool rooms and service tomorrow. By the evening, there’s no one in the church except us, so I’m just behind the scenes. Might have to work on my own today, though; she said she’s going to be busy teaching piano for the first bit.”

They neared the diner, and Noelle playfully punched the bluebird on the shoulder. “Look at you, helping out old ladies. Sweet.”

“Sweet?” He laughed. “Mrs. Boom is simply in desperate need of my organizational expertise! The church would be in ruins without me!” His tone lowered as he pushed open the doors to the small building. “Also, Father Alvin and Mrs. Boom have always been very nice to me, so I kinda owe it to them. Anyway…”

Catti was waiting at the hostess stand, looking exactly as bored as Noelle was used to. “Hey, Catti!” said Noelle, catching her attention. 

“What’s up. You guys here to eat, or just to bother me?” Catti put down her phone and picked up her notepad. 

Noelle caught Berdly sneaking a quick text out of the corner of her eye before she responded. “Yeah, just a table for-”

Noelle was cut off by a phone ringing. Andy Williams’s It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year was now blaring, filling the front of the restaurant with his crooner tones. It was Kris, calling Noelle, for some reason. She put the phone to her ear and turned around.

“Hel-” Noelle was cut off by Kris’s very loud singing. 

“ Oh, it’s the wrong number! The wrong number song! We’re very very sorry that- ” Noelle shut her flip phone with a chuckle. Just another one of Kris’s pranks. She turned around to see that Berdly had been whispering to a very indignant Catti. He cut off with a start when he saw the deer turning back around.

“Yes, well, lead the way, Catti!” he said.

Catti mumbled “ Whatever ” under her breath and grabbed 4 menus, leading them over to one of the big booths. She dumped the menus and 4 little utensil napkin rolls on the table and turned around.

“Hey, um, Catti? We don’t need this much…” Catti was already walking away, leaving a very confused Noelle. 

Berdly quickly said, “Well, that was weird,” and slid into the booth facing the door, motioning for Noelle to sit across from him. 

“Yeah, no kidding. Kris rang me up just to sing that stupid wrong number song. Little freak, faha.”

Berdly made a forced laughing noise. “Wow, That’s So Weird, HaHa.” He picked up his menu, immersing himself in it. “I forget if they do birdseed sides here…” he muttered, contemplating the various hometown delicacies. 

————————————————————

Berdly was finally relieved of scheme duty when he heard a mock gasp from the entrance of the restaurant. He looked up from his menu to see a weirded-out Susie and a fake-shocked Kris. 

“Oh my Angel, Susie! What a coincidence! It looks like our good friends Berdly and Noelle are here, getting lunch at the same time!” Before the lizard could protest, Kris slid into one of the booths, squeezing Berdly in by the window. With a stupid grin on their face, they clasped their hands together and stared expectantly at Susie. 

“Yeah, uh, that’s weird.” Susie looked at the three in the booth, very confused, before shrugging and scooting in next to Noelle. Berdly could feel the heat radiating from Noelle’s cheeks from across the table. “What are you two doing here? And, uh, are you cool if we, like, crash your lunch?” Susie chuckled. “We can get a table somewh-”

Noelle broke her nervous silence, grabbing onto Susie’s shoulder like a shipwrecked sailor. “No! I- We’d love the company!”

Berdly realized he had to step in to try and ratchet down the tension. “We just came here to get away from school and family stress, it’s no problem. Although-” he put on his best smug smile. “-it seems like trouble followed us here, right, Noelle?”

Kris snickered, Noelle nervously giggled, and even Susie found it amusing. “Yeah, well, I was just fuckin hungry, and Kris promised they’d pay. That’s about all it took for me.” She stretched out, towering over the deer and pushing closer to her. “Seriously, though, I’m fucking starving.”

Berdly felt a light elbow in his ribs. Kris was smiling at him when they said, “Yeah, same. How have you two been?”

Noelle perked up. “Good! Berdly’s parents were out of town last night, so he ate with me and my mom. It was soooooo awkward, faha.” 

Kris grimaced. “With Carol, when isn’t it-”

Catti had somehow appeared at the head of the table, staring daggers at Kris. “Kris, what the hell is Susie doing here.”

Kris put up a hand. “Catti, don’t worry. I’ve got her handled, and I’m paying for her. No more trashed kitchens.” 

Catti’s pupils did flips, they did jumps; Berdly had never seen someone so truly master the art of the eye roll before. “Whatever.” She pulled out her notepad. “What do you want.” She stared expectantly at Noelle, who suddenly fumbled with her menu. 

“Uhm, I’ll just get the Caesar salad…” As Catti was writing, she burst out with, “And can you put a waffle on the side? Extra strawberries?”

Catti gave a little smile. “And to drink?”

“Green tea would be great, thank you, Catti.” She handed her menu to the cat. 

“And for you, Nerdly?”

Berdly ignored the slight. “Scrambled egg whites, turkey bacon, a banana, rye toast, and do you have-”

“No, we don’t have rose jam, Berdly. Just like every other time you’ve been here.”

“J-just dry toast, then. And uh, water with lemon will be good.” He mumbled a quick “ thank you ” as he handed back the menu.

Catti breathed in and let out a sigh, preparing herself. “Susie?”

Susie looked up from the menu, hopeful. “Can I get a h-”

“No, you can’t have a ham sandwich.”

She snorted. “Fine. Lemme get 3 grilled cheeses, a stack of chocolate chip pancakes, eggs sunny-side-up, and a Dr. Pepper.” She indignantly dropped her menu. 

After writing the monster order, Catti turned. “And for you-”

Kris was already holding up their menu. “I don’t need this.”

Catti took the menu with a knowing nod. “Hot chocolate, no whip, 4 hotcakes, extra cinnamon, extra butter, extra scotch.” She sauntered away back to the kitchen.

“Um, Kris?” said Noelle. “What… what does ‘extra scotch’ mean?” She looked a bit nervous.

“ Butter scotch, Noelle. That’s what she said. Anyway, besides the point, we were just catching up. I didn’t know you ate with Noelle, Berdly, that's funny. The three of you in that big empty house.”

Since the recent stuff that had happened, the dinners had gradually become more and more painful, but they were still better than that stupid, sterile, empty apartment. “Noelle offered one night, and it just became a thing. My parents are always off on business trips now, so… yeah.”

Susie banged her fist on the table with a start, pointing at Kris. “Why don’t you invite me over more, asshole? I had a great time with your mom when we almost made a pie!”

Kris shrugged. “Yeah, my mom seems to love you. You, too, Noelle, you should both come over sometime to bake. Susie could probably learn a thing or two.”

Noelle blushed as Susie chuckled, utterly unaware. “Just make sure you don’t abandon us and spend 3 hours washing your hands again, dickwad.”

Berdly spoke up, some gossip-worthy info appearing at the front of his mind. “Speaking of baking—guess who I saw dropping off cookies for Alphys after class? Your dad, Kris!”

Noelle perked up. “Oooh, Kris is getting a new stepmom~!” she said in a teasing manner. 

Kris rolled their eyes and leaned back. “Guys, come on, be real. Please. He’s still obviously trying to win my mom back, acting way too weird not to be. And Alphys is probably crushing on Officer Undyne anyway.”

Susie groaned. “Can we not talk about that yellow fuck? I’m screwed on that test and trying to be in denial about it.”

Berdly smelled a prime scheming opportunity. “You know, Susie, I bet Noelle could help you. She knows everything there is to know about the topic; genius rivalling my own.”

Susie looked away, scoffing. “Come on, Berdbrain. Don’t wanna waste her time. Even after a million billion years of studying, you couldn’t fit her smarts into my little-ass pea brain.”

Noelle managed to squeak out a small “I wouldn’t mind helping-” before Catti came into view, deftly holding two huge platters. She set the first platter on a little stand before taking out Kris, Noelle, and Berdly’s lunches. The second large platter was entirely comprised of Susie’s order.

“Alright, that’s it. I’ll be back in a while if you want dessert or the check or anything.” Catti turned, before slyly reversing. “What are you guys here for, anyway? Is this about that stupid group project thing, or is that all over?”

Susie leaned back, taking in the magnificence of diner grub. “Nah, no school talk here.”

Kris crossed their arms and leaned onto their elbows, looking up at the cat with a gremlin smile. “We’re on a double date,” they said simply. 

“WHAT!” exclaimed the entire table. Susie’s confidence was instantly shattered, and she was staring at Kris with a light blush. Noelle’s hands immediately shot up, hiding her stark red face. On his part, Berdly felt completely blindsided. It had to be just another one of Kris’s pranks, right? Otherwise, that would mean that this whole scheme…

Kris turned back to the group, putting up half-joking, half-surrender jazz hands. “KIDDING! God, lighten up, people! It’s a lunch, not an interrogation!” As their friends began to angrily bark at them, Kris spoke directly to the waitress. “I’m unappreciated in my time, Catti.” 

“F-fuck off, Kris. I’m gonna put you in the ground if you keep up these stupid pranks.” Susie’s fists were clenched on the table, staring daggers at Kris. Berdly thought it looked like she was making a large effort not to look to her left, at Noelle. Noelle, on the other hand, was still speechless; still hiding her face. Like a statue, thought Berdly.

Kris checked their phone before unrolling their utensils, picking up their knife and fork. “Yes, yes, fuck you too, Susie. Now come on, stop looking like blushing brides and start eating. I’m on a schedule here.” They began to cut into their pancakes, which were soaked in butter, syrup, and cinnamon sauce. Catti turned to walk away with an annoyed sigh.  

Susie and Noelle reluctantly began to eat, and Berdly felt another light elbow into his ribs. He had been unconsciously staring straight through his plate. “ That means you, too, lovebird. ” Now, it was Berdly’s turn to blush as he picked up his cheap metal fork. He opened his beak, but nothing came out. 

Kris sat up straighter, as if they had just remembered something. “Ah, shit- Catti! Hold on!” The waitress’s ears perked up, and she turned back around.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been looking around for some local music. Tired of the radio, you know? Searching for something more… interesting. You know any Hometown artists, or stations, or something?”

Noelle went pale, salad fork hovering in the air. Catti said, “Yeah, I guess. Not an artist per se, but I get your drift. Gimme a sec, I’ll be right back.” She walked off towards the employee-only door. 

Noelle whispered across the table. “ Kris? What are you- ”

Kris cut her off. “Susie! What kind of music do you listen to in your free time? I’ve always been curious.”

Susie thought about it for a bit. “Hm, yeah, I guess we don’t talk music a lot. Big fan of Smashing Pumpkings , Pierce the Vein , or, like some, My Chthonic Regret . Wait, why are you asking about mine? I thought you were interested in local stuff.”

If this was part of the plan, Berdly wasn’t in on it. And judging by the horrifying way Noelle’s face was contorting, it might be harmful to their ambitious scheme. “Yeah, why are you bringing up music stuff? The topic is a bit of a departure, no?” he said. 

Kris looked calmly at the three of them. “It just occurred to me that I don’t know your guy’s taste, that’s all. I’ve had A Lich in Chains and Moldallica on the brain for a bit now. Despicable Zeros is a masterwork.” They turned to the bluebird. “Berdly, you?”

The question gave Berdly pause. “Well, it depends, Kris. My taste cannot be simply distilled into a few bands. I’m very interested in classical composers, such as Dvořák and Hanson, but I also enjoy a lot of Imagine Demons and Ghast Punk when I’m just relaxing.  

Kris snickered. “ Imagine Demons …” they remarked. “Yeah, that fits.”

Catti finally returned, carrying a flat little plastic square. “Here, Kris. I don’t perform or anything, but I like to put together mixtapes. That’s the closest thing Hometown has to musical artists, haha.” She handed Kris a little homemade CD. From over Kris’s shoulder, Berdly saw something shocking. It looked- like Noelle! 

Kris laid the CD flat on the table, turning it around to face Susie. Coincidentally, the motion coincided with Noelle slamming her face into her salad, but neither Susie nor Kris seemed to notice. “Looks like this CD has a few bands you like, Suz. Right up your alley, huh?”

Susie was blushing before she even picked it up. Didn’t even bother to look at the back, she was entranced by the front. Noelle looked different than Berdly had ever seen her, with black and white makeup and painted nails. Her blonde hair had been curled and accessorized with a little skull clip. Noelle's usually energetic face was in a half-dead, very emo expression. Over top of her modeling job, Catti had written ‘ Hometown Meltdown ’ in permanent marker. 

Susie stuttered out a weak “U-uh, yeah… You should-should try that look more often, Noelle.” Catti gave a satisfied smile and walked away.

Noelle sat up like lightning, her hand shooting out to grab the CD. “ Itwasalongtimeagoandit’ssuperembarrassing andit’snotforyouanywayok! ” she mumbled out. She stuffed it into her skirt pocket. 

Kris smugly watched as Susie put her hands up in reassurance. “Hey, listen man, I ain’t judging. I think it looks pretty sick.”

Noelle looked a bit ashamed. “Sorry, sorry, faha, I just thought that Catti and I were the only ones who knew about that… How the heck did you hear about that cover, Kris?”

Kris was sipping their hot chocolate. “Hm? Cover? I was just interested in our hometown creatives, Noelle.” They gave Berdly a sideways glance and took a longer swig of the drink, before suddenly coughing and hacking into their elbow. Their voice sounded strained when they finally spoke, “Sorry, sorry. Stronger than I thought .”

Susie and Noelle were just kind of awkwardly side-eyed each other, and Berdly could feel the air getting thick. He took a breath, cleared his throat, and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere. “Speaking of Catti, has anyone seen the spring play? She makes a surprisingly good villain.”

Susie and Noelle simultaneously cleared their throats while Kris enjoyed their pancakes, and the quartet went on small-talking and eating for a couple of hours. 

————————————————————

Kris smeared a napkin across their face as they glanced at their phone. “Shit,” they said. “I would love to stay longer, guys, but I have to get out of here.” They awkwardly slid out of the booth and fumbled in their pockets. “Berdly, you can have the rest of my pancakes- oh.” Kris took their hands out of their pockets, grabbing the mug and chugging the rest of their hot cocoa. 

“Awwww, that’s a shame, Kris. What are you up to?” said Noelle. 

Kris slammed the mug back down with a loud “WHOO!” They finally fished out a small roll of bills from their pockets and tossed it to Berdly. “Pay with that, lunch is on me. I’ve got to go burn down the school.” They turned and spedwalk away before anyone could ask any questions. 

“...you think they meant it?” questioned Noelle. Susie just shrugged as Berdly unrolled the cluster of bills. It was seven 50s, way more than anyone needed for diner food. He stared at the bills, thoroughly confused, before Susie spoke up.

“The fuck? Was that all from Kris?” She leaned over the table, scrutinizing the bills.

“Yeah, I guess… I have no idea where it could have come from.” Berdly didn’t make anything close to the kind of pocket change that Kris just carried around.

Susie loudly chuckled. “Looks like someone’s got a sugar parent, huh, Bluey?”

Berdly clenched the bills and looked up with a start. He could feel a traitorous flush surround his beak as Susie and Noelle both stared at him with that same stupid smile. “W-Whuh? What are you talking about?”

“Late-night ‘gaming sessions' with Kris? Come on, Berdly, you aren’t hiding your texts with them well,” said Noelle, teasing someone who Berdly had thought was her friend. They were clearly misinterpreting the genius scheme, confusing it for some kind of stupid romantic rendezvous. Completely absurd.

“It’s not like that! We’re just… talking. Rivalry-ing!” Berdly couldn’t risk giving away their plan lest he interfere in the natural chemistry that was clearly blooming. 

“Dude. We all heard them call you ‘lovebird’ under their breath. Kiiiind of damning evidence,” said Susie.

Ok, well, that one he didn’t have an explanation for. To be honest, the words were still sticking in his mind; he didn’t know what Kris had meant by that. Berdly felt his blush rising and his reminders slipping away. “Ok, yeah, but they just said that because they were making fun of our reactions! To the double date joke thing!”

Noelle giggled. “They didn’t call us lovebirds, Berdly.”

Berdly clenched his beak, responseless. “Yeah, well, you two are some to talk!” he said, way louder than he had intended.

Susie and Noelle froze like, well, deer in headlights. “Wut” said Susie.

Berdly froze too. He had said too much, insinuated their supposedly secretive affections. He was jeopardizing the mission that Kris had worked so hard for, trusted him with, and spent 350$ dollars on. He shot up like a rocket, throwing the bills to the other side of the table. “I GOTTA GO, uh, RETURN SOME VIDEOTAPES.”

He rushed out of the diner into the warm late afternoon air, hyperventilating. The bluebird didn’t stop speedwalking until he reached his mostly empty apartment; his father was on a work call and didn’t seem to notice him come in. He hoped and prayed he hadn’t just ruined everything as he got ready to go down to the church. 

Chapter Text

“...and anyway, looks like Susie and Noelle are gonna get together. Makes me happy, I guess, but I hope they're not going to be making out all the time now.”

Kris had been gossiping (or at least, as close to gossiping as you can get with an 80-something church lady) with Mrs. Boom for a while now; a refreshing break from the challenging music. The old turtle was sipping on her thermos, its cute knitted coozie always made Kris nostalgic for coming to church as a child and seeing her lead the children’s sermon.  

“Good for them. And what about that bird fellow? You know, he works here a lot. A good boy, in my estimation.”

“Berdly?” The question gave Kris some pause. “He’s alright. A lot cooler than I used to think. I’ll probs be hanging with him more if the girls are gonna be busy with dates and stuff.”

Mrs. Boom gave a small, almost mischievous smile. She cracked her knuckles, sending a cascade of old joints popping through the sanctuary.  “Good, good. Now, let’s see if you can’t beat that Prelude to a pulp!”

Kris chuckled and turned back to the piano, trying to still themselves. They pushed thoughts of anything besides the keys (especially blue-feathered distractions) out of their head. The choir room was small around them, filled with risers, antique pianos, and heaps of music. This place had been built underground, back when the church still used candles, so the scent of wax was heavy in the air. A few electric spotlights littered the room for playing purposes, but other than that, Kris was illuminated only by a few soft, yellowish flames. They attempted to still their breathing as they laid their hands on the ivory. No one was listening, no one was judging; the only other person in the church was Mrs. Boom. There was no reason to stress, and any tension or hesitation would ruin the piece. It required a state of extreme calm. Rachmaninoff’s Preludes were not necessarily that technically difficult, but Kris always found it extremely hard to get the emotions they felt when they practiced it out all at once. They felt a scaly, wrinkly hand on their shoulder. 

“You can do it, sweetie. Just make sure to relax, consciously unclench while you’re playing.” Kris had been working for a while now on Op. 23, No. 4 in D Major, attempting to master it and get down a full run-through. This was the moment. They could feel heat pulsing through their wrists. They had chosen the piece at near random, but here they were, stressed to high heaven about it. Come to think of it, Kris had found a lot of things more stressful recently. 

Kris took a deep breath before beginning the opening arpeggios. They were trying to have as light a touch as possible, letting the ethereal nature of the opening sing out of the piano on its own. Every chord, every melancholic shift was accompanied by the pianist leaning their entire body weight onto the keys. As the music gradually gained intensity, going from ditzy and depressing arpeggios to a climbing, towering melody, Kris could feel their fingers straining as if desperately yearning for the climax. To feel close, closer, yet closer to the music. 

The crescendo slowly rose and rose, and Kris contorted further and further. Three and a quarter minutes in, they hit the climax-

One singular, sour note tainted the most triumphant chord, causing Kris to seize up. They tried to take a few shaky breaths as their hands hovered over the black and white keys, resisting the overwhelming urge to slam their fists onto the piano. They had never felt so tense in their entire life, like every muscle was screaming to push away. When Mrs. Boom spoke up, she said, “It’s okay, dear. Start from bar 300, don’t tense your fingers.” With another breath, Kris started again from the minor arpeggios, building back up to the beautiful climax like the sun nearing sunrise. This time, Kris closed their eyes and tried desperately not to think about the keys, and the music flowed through their hands like liquid gold.

The tension finally released, Kris allowed their body to relax, swaying along with the emotions of the rest of the piece, the turbulence, the passing clouds, the return to consolation and resignation; they let themself feel it all. Their hands danced across the keys, fiddling with the tempo as their heart desired. Every emotion felt impossibly slow, every climax was rushed toward like a child returning to the arms of their parent. They landed on the ending chords like a bird returning to nest, before silently placing their hands in their lap.

The woman sitting next to them let the chords ring through the empty choir room for a time. “Well, Kris… I think that’s more than enough progress for one day.” Mrs. Boom stood with a groan as Kris nodded, gathering up their books and notes. Their hands were still shaking, and they had not yet released their breath. 

————————————————————

Berdly, despite the earlier awkward exit and the lack of company from Mrs. Boom, was finding himself enjoying his night volunteering at the church. He had been cleaning and organizing for almost an hour now and had entered a state of extreme calm. He dusted windows, placed hymnals, and arranged handbells, all while allowing the quiet comfort of his classical playlist to wash over him. Today, it was Elsa’s Procession to the Cathedral, by Wagner, a triumphant, majestic, and sacred work. Slowly, the anxieties and stresses of trying to manage the group at the diner were draining down through him as the music swelled in his chest. He told his friends he worked at the church because it needed him, and told his parents it was because it would look good on a resume; both were true, he guessed. But a church as old as this one doesn’t need some snot-nosed teenager to dust it, and no college is seriously going to consider ‘reverent cleaning’ as a life skill. The truth is, he just enjoyed it; it wasn’t a burden to him. In this sacred place, there was always somewhere that needed dusting, a preschool room that had been thrown into chaos, some small task to still his mind. 

He was checking his phone and thinking about when he would head home, when the doors to the choir room opened. For the past hour or so, since he came in, he had been hearing sounds of a piano leaking through his headphones. Mrs. Boom slowly shambled out. “Oh, hello, Berdly. Didn’t hear you come in, honey. How have you been?”

Berdly smiled softly. “Good, Mrs. Boom. The sanctuary is all dusted and set up. I didn’t catch much, but your student sounded very good today.”

Mrs. Boom gave a little look over her shoulder before slowly continuing over to him. “They’re one of my most passionate. Wish I could convince them to play in the service, haha.”

“Anyway, I’m going to start on the balcony pews, Mrs. Boom. Holler if you-” Berdly stopped, shocked. 

Kris had just sheepishly exited the choir room, holding a few thin music books under their arm and speedwalking towards the exit, desperately trying to avoid their classmate. 

“Sorry, Mrs. Boom, one second!” Berdly dashed over to intercept Kris. 

Berdly lightly grabbed their shoulder, stopping them while he talked excitedly. “Kris! Was that you in there? I-I had no idea-”

Kris whipped around, grabbing Berdly and wrinkling his collar. Their breath smelled distinctly of cocoa as they whispered right in his face. “And you will continue to have no idea, Berdly. I don’t play the piano, and if I ever hear Noelle or Susie mention it for even a second, I’ll pluck, skin, batter, and fry you.”

Berdly put up his hands in surrender, already sweating. “Ok, ok! I just wanted to say how good you sounded, that’s all!”

Kris scoffed. “Yeah, fucking sure, Berdly. Get your jokes out now, because if you ever make any stupid-ass references to this in public, I’ll rip your throat out before you finish them. 

Now, Berdly was really sweating. “I-I’m serious, Kris! I didn’t catch much, but you sounded great! You should consider playing in a service sometime, or something like that!”

The human reluctantly dropped him. “Berdly, nobody in this town wants to hear some kid plunk out stupid kiddy tunes on the ivories.” They lowered their voice. “Thanks, though, I guess.”

Berdly found himself suddenly confessing, wanting to relieve his friend’s embarrassment. “You know, I play the violin! I even take, um, dance classes! It’s not that stupid to play!”

Kris stopped, mouth hanging ajar with a smile forming on the corners. “Sorry, did you say dance classes? Like the ones here?? With all the old ladies???”

Stupid. Stupid thing to say, Berdly. “Yeah, I g-guess. My parents told me I had to do a physical activity, but they didn’t want me hurting myself in sports… I’m learning to tango right now, the other people are super-” he said, refusing to put down the shovel. 

Kris burst out laughing. “TANGO?!!” Their head flew back as they grabbed their stomach, all humiliation gone from their face. 

With a sigh, Berdly turned around. Well, at least now Kris wasn’t the one embarrassed. By the time he reached the stairs to the balcony, Kris was rolling on the ground, gripped by a giggle fit. 

————————————————————

Kris was still giggling to themselves at the image of Berdly dancing with a rose in his mouth when they got home. Toriel was sitting in her special chair, reading a book by the TV. She noticed Kris as they were sliding the sheet music books back into their proper shelves. 

“Oh, hello, my child! How was your lesson?” She put her bookmark on the page and set down her reading. 

“Good. Got through the Prelude almost in one go. Got to gossip with Mrs. Boom.” They walked into the kitchen, intent on making dinner. 

“And how is Beatrice doing?” said Toriel, standing and walking over to the entryway to the kitchen. 

“Still old, I guess. Still Mrs. Boom.” Kris quickly fixed themselves a plate of saltine crackers with peanut butter and grabbed a whole rind of brie out of the fridge. They yawned as they plated their culinary masterwork. “I’m pretty tired, Mom, I think I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Oh, ok, Kris. Did anything else interesting happen today?”

Kris smiled. “Yeah. I found out that Berdly takes dance classes.” They were back to giggling to themselves by the time they reached the stairs.

————————————————————

Kris woke up with a start, clawing out of the mountain of blankets necessary for them to feel warm when they sleep. They were panting, feeling thrown by their own mind. In their dream, they had been… dancing. With. Berdly. The tango , of all things! Kris shook their head, trying to focus. 

They heard it again, the sound that woke them up: a loud tap on the window. Kris groggily got up from their bed and stumbled towards the noise. It was pouring rain outside, with little rivers flowing down their driveway. Just as they were about to look down at what could be causing the noise, a large rock sailed straight through the flimsy glass, making Kris jump. The sound of the rain was pouring in now, but Kris heard a small “Oops! Sorry, Kris!” fighting through the shower. Kris stood on their tippy toes, careful to avoid the shattered glass, and looked down into the night. 

Susie was staring up at them, only barely visible in the glow of the kitchen lights. She was soaking wet. “Hey, Dipshit! I gotta talk to someone !” Kris thought briefly that they should probably be angry, but instead they just smiled. 

“One second, stalker!” Kris tiptoed back to their dresser, pulling out their rainboots and one- no, two raincoats. Though the raincoats were huge, Kris knew they had a fat chance of keeping their goat PJs dry. ‘ Oh well,’ they thought. ‘ A problem to solve after I deal with whatever fresh hell is lurking for me down there. ’ After suiting up, Kris opened the window and threw down the second jacket.

Although they had attempted to climb down, they just ended up slipping and belly-flopping onto the bushes. Kris wondered just how many times they could do that before the bushes straight up died; they didn’t look too healthy. They picked themselves up anyway. Susie was fiddling with her jacket, even though she was already soaked head to toe.

“Smooth, Kris.” She was smirking through the rain. Kris didn’t respond, just silently leading Susie towards the creek. 

The stream was high now, filled with dirty floodwater, and the rocks were slippery. It was even darker out here, and Susie was just a vague shape in the night. Perfect for talking. 

“So, care to explain why you just shattered my window?”

“Couldn’t sleep, y’know. Just uh, a crazy day.” Susie had to raise her voice to speak over the deafening rain, but even then Kris could hear its dejected quality. They patiently sat on the wet rocks and waited for Susie to elaborate. 

“We didn’t stay long at the diner after you left.” She sat, only a few feet away from Kris. “We teased Berdly about you two-” (‘ You two? The fuck did that mean? ’) “-and he made some stupid joke and stormed out. Berdly stuff.”

Kris had guessed that Berdly might crack under the tag-team mocking duo, but still nothing worth commenting on.

“After that, uh, Noelle and I hung out. Just the two of us, y’know.” Kris smirked. “Catti didn’t want us in the restaurant after you and Berdly made your scenes, so we had to leave- oh, but I gave her your money. Told her to keep the change.”

“Good,” mumbled Kris.

“We got ice cream from that ICE–E Pizza place and just kind of set off walking. I took her to the train tracks since the weather was so nice, and we just talked and walked and hung out for a while…”

Kris continued to wait. Not long now.

“Listen, Kris. We were sitting on that bigass rail bridge and talking, and we got on the topic of what we’re gonna do with our lives. After high school, and shit. And, you know, I told her about my dreams of being a firefighter, and she talked about wanting to be a nurse. But when I mentioned wanting to take a gap year to just travel and see the west coast, she said something weird to me.”

Kris silently leaned in. “I thought I heard her whisper something like ‘ I wanna go with you, ’ but she denied it right after. She said she was talking about her own trip, just to get out from under her mother and stuff. This whole time, mind you, she was right up next to me with our legs hanging off the bridge. It was weird.”

“She likes you.”

“Funny, Kris. It got a bit awkward after that, so we took the trail back to town through Emmerling Park. We passed by our graffiti spot- she said she wanted to try it, said it was a cool way to express stuff. Felt personal. I don’t know, maybe we were too close. Reminded her of her sister, I guess.”

“She likes you,” Kris said, trying to cut through the rain more. 

“Yeah, Kris, you should do standup,” she said dryly. “After that, we walked around town and visited her dad, who, by the way, acted weird around me again. We also saw Mr. Sans and even Berdly’s dad! Total coincidence, he was picking up some meds from the hospital or something. It was getting pretty late by then, so we split. She gave me a long, weird hug before she went back through those bigass gates.”

“Dude. She likes you.”

“Man, why the fuck do you keep saying that?”

Kris stayed silent. They guessed she was probably blushing. 

“Oh yeah, famous performance of Clam-Up Kris. If you’re not gonna explain why-”

“I don’t need to explain, Susie,” Kris spoke as softly as the weather permitted. “It’s just us. You can be honest.”

Now it was Susie’s turn to shut up. The pair sat in silence. Kris watched fish struggle to swim up through the flooded stream. 

Eventually, a soft voice broke through the rain. “...you think she likes me too?”

“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t know it.”

Another bout of silence. “Think I’m gonna fuck it up?”

“You would need to try pretty hard.”

Susie didn’t check her phone. “Shit, man, it’s late. I’m gonna go back and snooze on it. Sorry- sorry about your window, dude.”

“You could crash at mine. Kinda sucks out right now.”

 Susie took a deep, deep sigh. “Nah, my mom would go ballistic. Thanks, though, dude.”

And that was it. Susie trudged back through the woods, and Kris was left alone with their thoughts- oh god. The strange dream was resurfacing, unprocessed and inscrutable. Time to get back to bed and hope the next dream is less intimate. 

————————————————————

Susie sleepily fumbled with the key ring, trying not to make too much noise as she opened the door to the apartment. It was probably well after midnight, and Susie knew her mother would finally be home and asleep. Pushing open the rusty hinges, Susie spotted her mom, conked out on the couch with old sitcom reruns on in the background. Susie took a minute to tuck her into the blanket that she was under and turn down the awful 80s jokes before moving off to the kitchen. 

The sound of the dripping faucet gave her some peace of mind as she stepped around the moldy tiles and began to reheat the ramen her mother had made for her. There was a simple, scrawled note next to the chipped bowl: “ Sleep well <3 .” Susie chuckled to herself. It reminded her of the notes she would spy Noelle writing in her margins, soppy, sweet, and- oh right, about Susie. She should probably figure that whole thing out, right?

The ramen bowl did a slow pirouette in the microwave. As much as she hated to admit, Kris was right: Noelle had the hots for her. Susie had found herself thinking about the little doe quite often lately, about what her fur probably felt like, and the sound of her laughter. She was probably the most beautiful monster Susie had ever seen, and that was a tough competition. Susie had looked through enough old editions of Girlfriends Magazine in Sans’s convenience store to last a lifetime, but Noelle in that emo makeup, hot damn. Susie was no artist, but she had more than a few scribble-doodles of her stuffed under her mattress (they looked a bit like cave paintings, though, like, by a T.Rex on too many cough meds.) All in all, Susie didn’t know how to feel. She had never been attracted to someone she, well, actually knew before. Pinups had shockingly low standards.

Susie grabbed her ramen out of the microwave, glad for her mother’s thoughtful gesture, and also that it was a soup and not like meatloaf or something. The microwave had a tendency to leave the middle too cold and the outside burning like the sun. She, uh, kinda felt like that stupid meatloaf. Ok, that’s a bad metaphor. Susie sat down at the tilted table, blowing on her meal. What Susie meant was that she felt like Noelle didn’t actually know her. She tried to picture Noelle’s face if she ever saw this place, like the horrified look she had put on when Kris was bringing out the CD.  Susie didn’t even need to have been inside the gates of Noelle’s manor to know what kind of people she was messing with. If ‘Carol’ (the MAYOR OF THE FUCKING TOWN by the way) ever got a little miffed, well, that would be it for Susie and her mother.

There was also that study date that Berdly had tried to get them to go on. Susie’s stomach did flips just thinking about going over readings or homework with her. Yeah, Susie could feel her mind sounding alarms every time she thought about Little Ms. Snow Queen. But, as she slurped down the ramen in one bite, she didn’t feel particularly nervous or apprehensive. I mean, what was the point? Susie wanted to be with Noelle, Noelle wanted to be with Susie; Kris seemed to think it was inevitable. Even if it was going to crash and burn the second Noelle realized Susie only had like, 4 outfits, there was nothing to be done. Felt kind of like that prophecy Ralsei was always rambling about.  

Even as Susie slipped into bed and formed into a little blanket-burrito, her mind was racing. How the fuck was she gonna ask her out? What was she gonna wear? She idly wondered if she could somehow get her clothes from the dark world– those were at least completely whole (and Noelle would probably think they’re hot.) Tired out of her mind from her day’s adventure with the curious little deer, Susie was asleep before she hit the pillow, off to dream about the dozens of potential dates fluttering around their mind.

Chapter Text

Sunday, 5:30 AM. Berdly woke up exactly on time, as always. Even through his groggy haze, he felt a dull annoyance as he fumbled with his phone. He had been enjoying his dream. 

Though the details were rapidly fading, he took a second to sloppily take notes in his dream journal. He had been back in a weird, messed-up cyber world, back in the suit of armor he had dreamed about a while ago. This time, he had been a cyber mage, fighting to break some kind of dark curse turning everyone to ice. It was just him and Kris fighting through hordes of smiling demons, a mage and a paladin. He tried to sketch out the amazing silver armor Kris had been wearing, but it had already slipped away. All he could remember was their face: stoic, like an embodiment of leadership. They had somehow taken on the role of protagonist within his own dream, leading their two-man ‘party’ in triumph over the forces of ice magic. Or at least, they had been, until Berdly awoke. With a sigh, he closed his journal and began to prepare himself for the 11:30 service. 

————————————————————

Noelle stepped out of the choir room in line with the other singers, into the stained-glass colors of the sanctuary. They were preparing to lead the congregation for the service, something that Noelle did every Sunday (her father’s idea). There were only 5 of them, but it was a pretty small church; their voices could still travel far. It was her, Shyren, Mr. Drake, Mr. Cattenheimer, and Ms. Toriel. Noelle had always enjoyed singing, but today was a bit different. 

She looked out over the crowd– there couldn’t have been more than 20 people there, but there were a few notable members. First off (Oh My Angel), Susie was here. To see her sing. Noelle felt suddenly glad for the tedious repetition that Father Alvin always made them do; she was certain she would have instantly forgotten the piece otherwise. Kris was sitting next to the lizard, looking a bit bored. Noelle saw them at church very sparingly, usually only at holidays. Nothing wrong with that, but Noelle wondered why they had chosen today. There was another one of her friends, Berdly, but that wasn’t that strange. He worked so much at the church that he often showed up to sermons, even if he was a staunch atheist. For the first time, Noelle also saw his parents sitting with him; his very glamorous bluebird mother and his red-and-brown, suit-clad father.  The trio was sitting in the back, behind Bratty. 

Noelle got through the opening hymn without sweating too much, but she relaxed when Catty started her sermon. This week, it was “Surviving with Faith in the Heart of Winter,” but Noelle was much more focused on surviving this morning. Thankfully, it seemed like Susie and Kris were engrossed in whatever the heck was in their pockets rather than what was going on at the front of the church. She breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Father Alvin to finish. 

————————————————————

By the time the service was over, all was right in the world: Susie and Kris’s faces were covered in smellable stickers. “Dude, Noelle’s gonna flip. You’re a chick magnet now.”

The pair giggled as the congregation rose. “Ah, can it, Kris. I’m still not sure.”

Kris stopped laughing and stared at the lizard. Susie stopped as well, staring back.

This lasted for an uncomfortable amount of time; Susie could feel the strange looks of the passing congregation as Kris stared into her soul. Finally, she broke.

“Alright FINE! I’ll ask her out sometime.”

Kris didn’t blink. “Never a better day than today.”

After a few more minutes of staring, Susie couldn’t bear it anymore. She was cracking. “Dude, come on. Give me a break, man…”

“Wimp. Coward. Pussy. Spineless. Sniveler.” Susie was visibly wilting. “Sissy. Doormat. Softie. Beta. Gutless. Slime. Wuss. Cuck-”

“FINE! DON’T CALL ME A CUCK!” Susie stood with a start; she just couldn’t take it anymore, ok? Yeah, she knew Noelle liked her, yeah, it probably wasn't a big deal, but what if the date she was thinking about was stupid? It felt weird to think, but Susie desperately wanted more time to plan. She leaned down over Kris, giving a toothy smile to try and regain her cool. “ You’re fucking wingmanning, though ,” she whispered. 

Kris stood as well, deftly sidestepping Susie and walking towards the family bathroom. “Come on. Prep time.” They yanked a White Camellia out of a nearby flower arrangement as they opened the door. Susie took an apprehensive sigh as she followed in.

————————————————————

Berdly was checking his phone when he stepped out of the men’s restroom, shaking off his feathers from the sink. 

Father: headed home. good luck cleaning. 

He breathed a small sigh of relief. The service had gone well, or at least, his part had. All of the hymnals were set, every surface was dusted, and everything was in its perfect place. His parents had seemed impressed; the church had been a bit of a dusty mess before he had started to volunteer. Now, all he had to do was put back up the handbells before he could go home and finally relax. He had all of his work done and had saved up enough for the new Monkey Long game; it was calling his name with a siren song. It had already received raving reviews- 

Wait, what the hell was that?

His train of thought was rudely interrupted by some yelling coming from nearby. He moved closer to the adjacent door– not to eavesdrop, um obviously. He was… doing counterintelligence to protect the church. Behind the door of the family bathroom, Berdly could hear Gonna Die Now by Maynard Blerguson blasting in the small room. 

“Are you FUCKING ready, Susie?”

“Y-YEAH!”

“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?”

“I’M NOT GONNA EAT THE FLOW-”

“ IDIOT! WHADDYA GONNA DO?!”

“I’M GONNA ASK OUT NOELLE!”

“WHY?”

“BECAUSE– BECAUSE I’M A STUD!”

“WHAT ARE YOU?!”

“A SEX MACHINE”

“WHAT ARE YOU?!”

“THE DOE DESTROYER!”

“ WHAT ARE YOU?!?! ”

“NOELLE’S DREAM GIRL!”

“NOW GET OUT THERE, AND FUUCK ! THAT ! DEEEEEEEEEER!”

The door slammed open as Susie charged out, yelling a battle cry. Berdly jumped back as if to avoid an oncoming train; he thanked the angel that the lobby was empty. Her face was flushed, and she was already sweating. But, hey, at least all the stickers were gone, and there was a beautiful flower poking out from her borrowed suit jacket breast pocket. Kris smugly walked out after her, standing next to the bewildered Berdly.

Their voice was hoarse. “I think this is it, Berd. My Magnum Opus. Susie’s unstoppable. Now come on, let’s go see the result of our handiwork.” 

Kris grabbed Berdly’s collar and yanked him towards the door to the courtyard, following Susie. He made a sound quite like a choked squawk as he stumbled with them. Suddenly, he found himself being pulled into a large bush as the pair watched the scene unfold. 

Out in the courtyard, Noelle was standing by her father as he talked with Toriel. She was sipping that weird red juice; Berdly had always found it repulsive, but Noelle swore by it, and Susie had been chugging it the entire service. Susie spedwalked up behind her like a shark getting ready to strike. She had a crazed look in her eyes, was already sweating through her suit, and was heaving like she had just won a marathon. Real romantic stuff. 

Susie slapped a hand down on Noelle’s shoulder from behind. “NOELLE!” she shouted, interrupting the parents’ conversation a few feet away. Noelle’s eyes bugged out, and she spat out a mouthful of red liquid. Susie spun her around to face her as the parents silently observed. 

Susie grabbed the flower out of her pocket, holding it out to Noelle with white knuckles. She cleared her throat a few times and smoothly put up her right hand, occasionally squinting at her palm as she spoke. “Noelle. Would You. Like. To. Have Dinner. With Me. At The Diner. On. Saturday. And Then. Yalk-” She coughed. “Walk. Around. For. A While. And. Talk.” She sounded uncannily like a robot character Berdly remembered from Doctor Hoo . 

Noelle, due to the masterful flirting, was speechless. Susie’s eye was twitching. For a second, Berdly thought with horror that everything was going to come crashing down– until Noelle finally spoke. “Umm, Y-Yes? That sounds great, Susie!” She was about as red as a fire hydrant as she tried to take the flower (it took a few tries before Susie let go). 

Susie jammed her hand into her pocket and shoved a crumpled piece of paper into Noelle’s chest. A horrific smile was wrenched across her face. “GREAT! Text me.” She looked awkwardly at Toriel (who was smiling at the pair) and Rudy (who was shooting daggers at Susie).  “WELL! Mrs- Ms. Dreemurr, Mr. Holiday. Lovely to see you both.”

She turned and leapt into the bush that Kris and Berdly had been spying from, causing both of them to give a little “eek!” and scrunch together. It was not nearly a big enough bush for them all to sit together, and Susie stank of sweat, so for once, Berdly did not mind being pressed against Kris. “What? What the fuck are you two doing here?”

Kris spoke up, seemingly unaware of the seating arrangement. “Watching you, dumbass! You killed it!” Susie and Kris both gave a stupid grin as Berdly gave a nervous chuckle. 

“You think so? Dude, I was fucking terrified out of my mind.” Susie pulled the lower half of her body into the bush (which had been sticking out) and started blushing and clapping her hands like a kindergartener. “She looked so cute and her dad was watching and I just had no idea what to say!!!”

“Dude, trust me, nobody could tell. You looked like a total player.” Kris also raised their hands to clap, until they gave a sideways glance at Berdly and cleared their throat. They stood up, head exiting the bush. “Anyway, I’ve got to get out of here, and you’ve got a date to plan, you.” They cheerfully bonked Susie on the top of the head before walking out, covered in sticks and leaves.

Berdly was left in the bush, a little bewildered. Susie seemed to have forgotten to make fun of him, because she excitedly asked. “What about you, Berdbrain? Did I do good?”

Berdly put on his best ‘bro’ voice. “Dude, total romance mastery. Noelle is done for.”

Susie pumped her fist and shouted, “YEAS!” before leaping back out of the bush. Berdly was suddenly just alone in the shrubbery, sitting on the rooty ground. With a chuckle, he got up to get to work on the church. 

————————————————————

That was the last interesting thing to happen to Berdly until Thursday. Without the scheme to bring them together, Kris and Berdly only talked in and around school. Granted, it was way more than they had used to talk (and he was also now talking to Susie a lot more, he guessed), but he wasn’t feeling particularly satisfied. Noelle seemed happier now, even though the pair hadn’t even gone on their first date. She was constantly asking Berdly for clothes and conversation topic opinions, although he suspected it was mostly to figure out what wasn’t good rather than what was. Makes sense. He had been learning recently that fashion and romance had never been his forte. 

Overall, things were simply less stimulating without Kris around to challenge his vast intellect. He hadn’t realized just how much fun he had been having with them while they were working together. It had been nice to connect with Kris on a level deeper than their intense gaming rivalry, and he was pretty sure Kris tolerated him a bit more now. In addition, he shuddered to imagine what their plan would have been like without his social engineering genius, and kicked himself for almost saying no to it. 

Now, instead of plotting, he was reflecting on their time spent together at the creek as he cooked dinner for himself and his father. Tonight, it was Fettucine Alfredo, Berdly’s favorite pasta. He had gotten pretty good at cooking as he got older. Usually, his parents would be much too tired when they got back from work or off of their online meetings to make anything, and Berdly had quickly tired of frozen foodstuffs. So, now, he cooked. He had even gotten a special “My Kitchen, My Ruleset” apron (in celebration of his extreme melee prowess). 

As he let the pasta boil, he was seriously considering just… calling up Kris. After all, why shouldn’t he? Kris was his friend now, and that’s what friends do, right? The phone was right in his hand, all he had to do was select their contact and hit ‘call.’ He stared at the screen. His father was rustling through his newspaper, the Alfredo sauce was slowly cooking, and Berdly was too much of a fucking coward to call up someone he had known since he had moved here. One dinner, that’s all it would be. After all, Kris had never met his father, and never tasted his cooking, either. One dinner, just one night, that’s all it would even be. How bad could he fuck it up?

The answer was a lot. The answer was an astronomical amount, that’s how much he could fuck it up. He just knew he would do something stupid, like dump boiling water on them, make some gaming joke that fell flat, or just do anything that made them uncomfortable. His thumb was straining over the call button, hard enough to make him wince. Eventually, he just sighed and slowly slipped his phone into his pocket. 

He probably had better things to do anyway. Monkey Long was still calling– Hold on, oh shit. 

See You Next Week by The Mondays was blaring in the kitchen. He had forgotten why on earth he made that his ringtone; he hated for people to know he liked that band– what the fuck was he thinking about? Pick up the phone, moron!

He coughed, almost dropping his phone in the sauce. “H-Hello?”

“Lombardi! Just the man I wanted to hear.” It was Kris, sounding like their usual self. “Listen, are you busy?”

“N-No, just doing some cooking.”

“You cook? The hell?”

“Yeah, sometimes I cook for me and my parents when they’re too tired after work.”

“Damn. You never make anything for us… Anyway, besides the point. Listen, Berdman, I need a favor.”

“Yeah?”

“My mom is showing Sans her puzzle collection; it’s sickening. They’re gonna be at this for hours, and Sans has, like, an entire standup routine for each fucking one. I have to escape this prison.”

“O-Oh, wanna put something together with Susie and Noelle? Could be nice-”

“Susie and Noelle are doing who knows what in the woods; Noelle snuck away from her mother or something, I don’t know the whole story. I’m not too keen on finding out exactly what they’re doing, so that just leaves you, Nerdbrain. The last resort. The designated survivor.”

He chuckled. “Wow, I feel so honored.”

“Yeah, well, I figured you deserved some recognition for your very minor part in helping me. So, what do you think? Wanna hang?”

“Hm.” Berdly tried desperately to still his breathing and lower his heart rate. “I’m making dinner right now, but you can join us! Sample my amazing skills, and all that.”

“Yeah, alright. Everything in my fridge probably has ketchup on it by now, so I think I’ll take you up on that. What’re you making?”

“Fettuccine Alfredo.”

“Damn. If it sucks, you’re dead. I love that dish. I’ll be over in fiveish.”  

“Alright, cool-” Oh, they had hung up on him. Par for the course. He slipped the phone back in his pocket and continued to attend to his food, a whole new blanket of nerves slowly draping over him.

“Hey, Dad, is it chill if Kris comes over for dinner? They’re having, uh, problems with their mom right now. Nothing serious.” 

“Her? I mean, I guess. Nice of you to offer.”

“ Them , Dad,” he mumbled under his breath. God, he hoped that wouldn’t happen when they were over.

————————————————————

Kris was feeling a little bit awkward as they sat at the massive, very fancy table. The Dreemurr household didn’t have ‘family dinners’ anymore, since Azzy left and, you know, the divorce. They figured it would probably be worth it if the pasta was good. 

Berdly’s father was still buried in his newspaper. He hadn’t even looked up when Berdly had let them in. “So, Kris. How’s school going?”

“Ah, you know.” They clasped their hands together, only a little bit nervous. “Same old, Same old. Getting ready for finals.”

He flipped a page. “Thought about what you’re doing after?”

“Not much,” they sheepishly admitted. “College is a bit of a touchy subject at home. I’m thinking about sound design, like for movies and stuff.”

“Really.” He remarked. “A lot of money in that, or what?” 

“I’m… not sure, sorry.”

“Hm. It’s certainly a creative path, yeah? Takes a lot of passion.” He went back to his newspaper.

Finally, Berdly emerged from the kitchen, holding three steaming plates of pasta. It looked delicious and made Kris realize just how hungry they were. The pasta was creamy and seemed to be perfectly cooked, and there was a piece of thick garlic bread on the side. Berdly put on a horrific accent as he said, “Buon Appetito!” and set down the plates.

“Berd, what the f–” Kris glanced at his father. “What the heck, man, why have you never mentioned you know how to cook?”

“Haha, Kris, I don’t know how to cook. I just do it for myself, mostly.” He cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re appreciating my culinary genius, though.”

Kris mumbled a quick prayer before greedily picking up their fork, digging into the scrumptious meal. They took a second to swallow before speaking again. “Did Berdly tell you about our fantastic scheme, Mr. Lombardi?”

“Hm? Oh, about Noelle and Susan? Yes, he mentioned it. How’s that going?”

Berdly spoke up. “Well, we had a nice lunch together at the diner, and got them to get a bit closer. But, I mean, the two of them did most of the heavy lifting. After Kris and I left the diner, they just hung out for most of the day. Kris, you said Susie, like, made you come outside to talk about it, right?” Kris nodded. “Anyway, it must have worked. We got Susie to ask out Noelle yesterday, after church. She did it super loudly, out on the lawn right after you left. Pretty hard to miss, haha.”

Kris shrugged. “They won’t have to go around spreading the news now. I see that as a plus.”

Mr. Lombardi gave a small, dead smile. “Well, I suppose love does bloom in the strangest places.” 

There was a small moment of awkward silence. Nevertheless, Kris enjoyed their pasta and bread; they weren’t lying when they said it looked great.

Kris was already running low on conversation topics. “Um, Mr. Lombardi, do you go to church often?”

“Me? No, not really. My, uh, wife; she wanted to be a regular attendant when we first moved. But now, with the business trips and things, it’s quite hard. More of a holiday thing, you know?”

Kris nodded. “Yeah, my mother says that she’d love to see you guys more around town. I think most of the parents like you guys.”

They heard a chuckle from behind the newspaper. “Ah, we try when we can. Between work and travel, it’s a little hard to stay plugged in. Wish I could, but work is more important.”

The response gave Kris pause. “Wait, why did you guys move to Hometown in the first place? I’ve always wondered.”

“Oh! Just a little family tradition, from his mother’s side. They like for their children to grow up outside of ‘Urban Environments.’ There’s a certain value in raising a child away from all the noise. Builds character.”

Kris glanced over at Berdly, who rolled his eyes and shook his head. He mouthed out, “ I don’t know either. ”

“Do, um, all of the Lombardis cook? Or is that just Berdly’s special little thing, haha.”

“No, that’s mostly just him. It’s admirable that he wants to do it himself, and it’s nice that he enjoys it. Though I do try to remind him that it’s not something he needs to worry about.”

Kris was now growing somewhat uncomfortable. It was strange, talking with someone who was so alien to Hometown. There was another awkward silence as Kris enjoyed their meal.

“Oh, Berdly, um. Father Alvin asked my mom to ask me if you and I would play in the sermon this week. He’s doing a youth sermon this week, and wants each of us to perform a little something.”

Berdly’s father piped up before he could speak. “I didn’t know you played anything, Kris.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda why I don’t wanna do it. Not many people know I play, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Berdly finally got a word in. “Aw, that would be fun. But I get what you mean, not a lot of people know about my violin either.”

His father rustled his paper. He hadn’t yet touched his meal. “You know, son, Viroella just played in the National Cathedral in D.C. with her school’s orchestra. It would be nice to see you follow, but also, mustn’t let it take priority over school.”

“Yeah, Dad.” He mumbled to Kris, “ Viroella’s my older cousin. ”

Kris initially thought that playing in public was stupid, but now that felt kind of silly. They were finding themselves defending the idea, if only because his father’s reason was stupider. “Well, hold on. He’s already taking the lessons, and it would be on a Sunday. Why not? I’d do it with him.”

His father had yet to even look up from his newspaper. “Not worth the risk, though, is it? What’s one service compared to a lifetime of learning? Ah, speaking of, how’d that test go? The 20th century one?”

“Dude, that one was awful. Presentations were not the best way to learn that stuff,” blurted out Kris.

“Yeah, even Noelle found it pretty hard, and I could have sworn she had it in the bag.”

“Yes, very sad. You got an A+, though, yes, Berdly?”

The bluebird didn’t respond. Kris had never, in their life, seen him look so out of place.

Eventually, he mumbled out a weak, “It was a hard test.”

His father folded up his newspaper and set it on the table. He paused to study his son. “Hm. And why is that, Berdenard?”

All at once, the room was thick with tension. “Mr. Lombardi, the test really was hard. Ms. Alphys had us teach ourselves, and nobody did well. It’s not Berdly’s fault.”

Mr. Lombardi calmly put up a hand. “It’s ok, Kris. No need to defend him. He’s a grown man, after all.”

Berdly just hung his head in shame. His fists were clenched on the table, right by his half-eaten plate. “A grown man, who thinks he can go behind my back, lie to me, and then do who-knows-what with his neighbors, saying it’s all for school. How many of your other ‘study sessions’ have you been lying about, Berdly? Maybe that’s why you’ve failed so comple-”

Berdly finally snapped up. “Dad, please, do we have to talk about this right now? Y-You’re just meeting Kris for the first time!” He sounded desperate.

“Oh, I’m sorry, son. I wasn’t aware that learning was no longer your top priority!" His voice was rising.  "You have other things on your mind now, huh? Girls, socializing, a bit of violin on the side; yes, I’m glad to see your priorities are crystal clear. Well, if you’re not going to take advantage of your schooling here, then perhaps it’s time we returned somewhere more civilized. Maybe this quaint little shithole's rubbed off on you too much. Perhaps it’s time we looked at returning somewhere with real expectations, A proper city. We may have to put up with the usual urban chaos, but at least we’d be among people with ambition. At least we'd be among equals-”

Berdly was anxiously glancing back and forth between his father and his friend. “Please, Dad! We can talk about this later!”

“Do you know that your mother commutes from Hometown to Seattle every weekend, just so you can ‘grow up right’ here? Would you like to tell her that her hour-long drives to the airport and 5-hour flights are being wasted?”

Kris couldn’t take it anymore. “Holy shit! It was one goddamn test! What, are you gonna execute him for having a life? And by the way, we weren't doing anything-”

Kris was stopped by Berdly’s weak voice. “Kris, please…” He looked like he was tearing up.

The room was silent now, filled by the death stare of the father and Berdly’s quiet sobs. Kris had never felt so disgusted. They pushed their chair away from the table, standing and dropping their utensils. “Fuck this. Thanks for the dinner, man.” They turned and walked out of the large apartment.

As they left, they could hear Mr. Lombardi’s voice following them. “Don’t go out there, Berdenard.”

————————————————————

Kris made it 30 steps into the warm evening air before they heard the door slam open behind them. They didn’t need to turn around.

“Kris! Kris, wait up, I’m sorry!” Berdly was running up behind them; he hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on.

They whipped around, eyes wide. “Berdly, why the hell are you the one apologizing?! Your dad is the fucking worst!”

That stopped him in his tracks. His beak hung open as tears slid down it, like he was searching for the words to defend him. But nothing came out. 

Kris just sighed and walked up to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that. But look, man. I can’t just sit there and watch you get beat down like that.” They grabbed his shoulders on both sides, looking straight into his reddish eyes. “You don’t deserve that, Berdly.”

Berdly broke back into sobs, shrinking in their grasp. Kris let go and turned around. “I’m sorry, man. The cooking was fantastic, but I… I can’t go back in there anymore.”

Berdly could only choke and sputter as they walked away. “...please, Kris, please! I-I… I really wanted to hang out with you today. I’m sorry things got so weird. I was gonna call you up and ask you, but I was just too much of a pussy, ok?”

Kris paused their walk. Berdly sniffed, wiping his eyes as they turned around. “Listen, I know things suck right now, but fuck it, why can’t we just relax? Once things, I don’t know, quiet down? We could just sit around and play video games, like normal.”

Kris looked down, staring at the sidewalk beneath them. Despite the sour taste lingering in their mouth, they couldn’t walk away. They couldn’t even speak. 

“....Kris? Kris, I’m sorry for what happened in there, but–” He choked on his words. “I still miss you…”

Kris could no longer deny it; they missed him too. Life after school had been missing something crucial. Noelle and Susie were hanging out all the time, and there were no more plots to scheme with Berdly. They walked back up to him, pulling him into a sudden, tight hug. “I– I missed you too, Nerdly.”

The pair stood like that for a second while Berdly stopped shaking. He hesitantly laid his feathers over Kris’s shoulders, softly hugging back. He had a few inches on the human, and his plume was soft on Kris’s face; they could vaguely feel the scrawny, toned chest underneath it. Finally, Kris whispered out, “Text me when you’re ready, ok? And please, stick up for yourself, nerd.” 

It seemed that neither of the pair wanted to pull away, but eventually Kris did. They wiped at their eyes as they turned away, walking without another word. 

————————————————————

Berdly returned to his apartment, eyes red and head low. His father was back in his newspaper.

“I told you not to go, Berdenard. What good did it do? She didn’t come back.”

Berdly couldn’t say anything. He just kept walking towards his room, avoiding eye contact.

“Son, come here. I need to say something to you.” He folded back up his newspaper.

Berdly stopped, not unclenching his shoulders or looking behind him. “What.”

There was a pause as his father patiently waited for his son to heel. “Listen, son… I’m sorry that dinner got so heavy. I just wanted to help you remember… Nothing, nothing is more important than your intellect, Berdly. All of your friends, this minuscule town, none of it is worth anything compared to hard work. I know it’s hard for you to see now, but you will. One day.”

Berdly stayed quiet.

“I… I would also stay away from Kris, son. I know you’ve known her for a while, but… I mean, son, I hope you know, but she’s a Non-Binary. You know that, right?”

He tilted his beak slightly toward his father. “Yeah? What about it?”

Mr. Lombardi sighed. “There’s nothing wrong with it, I guess, but you know, son. It says a lot about a person. About how they see the world, how they see the society around them. I’m not sure Kris is the kind of person you want to be associated with. People like that will only drag you down. What happened to Noelle?”

Berdly gritted his beak, searching for words. “She has her own life, Dad. We both do.” He walked into his room and breathed a sigh of relief. 

————————————————————

Berdly had been sitting on his floor, back against the door, listening to classical music for a long time now. He hadn’t checked his phone, but he was sure it had been a few hours at least. When he felt his phone buzz, he was listening to Mendelssohn’s Violin Concerto in E Minor. He often dreamed of playing the piece himself, even though he would never have an ounce of the talent required. This music meditation had become a tradition for him, ever since he was a little kid. When he got frustrated and cried, his father would put him in his room and put on his old classical records, which now belonged to Berdly. The thought of this habit being borne of his father was now making him a bit queasy. 

When he finally ripped himself away from the music long enough to check his phone, he was quite surprised. 

realmonster420: what’s the deal man

realmonster420: what r we doin

masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Sorry, I got distracted.

realmonster420: loser

realmonster420: whats the plan

Berdly stood and gave a little sniff, looking in his desk mirror. His eyes were still bloodshot, but he knew his dad would be asleep by now. Whatever. No better time than the present, he supposed. Berdly was, of course, still wearing the dress shirt from dinner. He gave it a quick tug to straighten it before replying.

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: You can come on over. My dad is asleep.

realmonster420: lmao sounds like we fucking

realmonster420: omw tho

Berdly tried desperately to avoid that thought by straightening up everything in his room while he waited. He organized bookshelves, sorted albums by artist, then by genre, then by instrument, then by artist again, and even sorted through his colossal games collection. After that, he changed into his favorite old PJs; they had the print of a suit and made him feel very formal. Eventually, he felt his pocket explode with buzzes.

realmonster420: im outside 

realmonster420: let me in

realmonster420: LET ME IN

masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Gosh, I’m coming!

realmonster420: haha now it def sounds like we fucking

realmonster420: LET ME IN YOU WORM

realmonster420: LETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEINLETMEI

Berdly slowly opened the door to Kris smirking at their phone and rapidly copy and pasting. They looked up, whispering, “Took you long enough.”

“You don’t have to whisper, by the way. My dad is such a light sleeper that he goes to bed with noise-cancelling headphones on. His alarm clock is like a vibrating watch or something stupid like that.”

Kris rolled their eyes as they stepped into the dim light of the very fancy mudroom. “Yeah, he’s really going for gold with the whole ‘lameness’ thing, right?” For the first time in his life, Berdly was seeing Kris without their trademark sweater and tan pants. He was speechless for a moment. 

Instead of stripes, they had a massive, black, worn-out graphic tee. It nearly reached the tops of their thighs, and it was from Moldallica ’s 1991 BREAK THE CAGE tour, though it was pretty hard to make out exactly what it said. The graphic seemed like a beating heart inside a little birdcage, very metal. The shirt was so stretched out that Berdly could see Kris’s green and yellow striped binder poking out from the collar. Below that, they were wearing small, blueish athletic shorts, worn low on the hips. Other than that, Kris was armed only with purple Godzilla slippers and a spooky smile. “Why don’t you take a picture, Berdly? Anyway, I’m ready to thrash the oh-so-wise gamer.”

They held up a small, olive colored backpack, making a jostling and sloshing noise. “I also brought, uh, snacks and other games and stuff.” Berdly smiled for the first time that night.

————————————————————

Kris silently closed the door behind themself, turning and taking in the dark room. Its neat perfection was lit only by the TV, showing the title screen of Kreature Kart . “Impressive, Berdman. Very impressive. I always assumed you were pretty straight-edge, but this is a whole new level. You organize your bookshelf like a goddamn library.” 

Berdly looked kind of uncomfortable, giving Kris some pause. Not the intended reaction. “Y-Yeah, it helps me to relax.”

Kris stopped looking around and walked back up to Berdly, punching him in the arm. “Lighten up, Berdly. Not gonna make fun of you too much tonight.” They plopped down in front of the large TV and started unzipping their backpack. “Something on your mind? Other than, y’know, the great familial trainwreck.”

Berdly chuckled nervously as he joined Kris on the floor. “Never shown anyone my room before, other than Noelle. But, she’s Noelle, so that doesn’t really count.”

Kris snickered. “Yeah, she’s sweet. We did a real good thing, setting her up with Ms. Godzilla and all.” They paused before clearing their throat and putting up their hands, as if to prepare the bird. 

“All right, well, I’m glad you seem to be feeling a bit better. But, I figure the kinda stuff that happened at dinner cuts pretty deep. Keep an open mind, ok? Got you something to take a little bit of the edge off.” They stared into the backpack and briefly contemplated what the hell they were doing. Kris hesitantly pulled an eight-pack of Schattenthals from the backpack. “Have you ever played Keg-Kreature Kart?”

Berdly went through the motions of being shocked, that’s for certain. He opened his mouth, he gasped, he clutched the metaphorical pearls, but his face didn’t look appalled for even a moment. “Kris, how– how could you? Think back to our S.C.A.R.E. pledge! Safe Creatures Avoid Recreational Enjoyment!” He breathed out and lowered his voice. “Where did you even get those?”

“Azzy has been pissing me off. He stashed these where he thought neither I nor Mom would find them, but he underestimates my snake-like flexibility and general boredom. Now, they’re my beers.” They pulled one off the plastic rings. “What, do you want one or not?”

Berdly responded in a dull tone as he grabbed one. “How dare you corrupt me so thoroughly, Kris, and so on and so forth.”

Kris smirked and began to unload the rest of their pack. A controller, a small disk folder of games, a large bag of cheeze doodles, and a bag of semisweet chocolate chips. “Don’t get too eager, bluebird. Those aren’t for recreation, they’re for professionals .”

Berdly perked up, seemingly entranced by winning a game he had never played before, a drinking game. “Go on, pro gamer goatsbloodXXX . Your challenge intrigues me.”

“It’s trivial, my dear Berdly. Trivial. In every other race, you’ve got to drink your beer before you cross the finish line. DUIs are still illegal, though. Gotta pull over and come to a complete stop. We only have 4 beers each, so we’ll just do a 12-race prix and see who comes out on top. Woulda nabbed more, but my brother’s a cheap bastard.”

Berdly smirked. Kris knew he was probably still a lot better at Kreature Kart than they were, but he had somehow never drunk before. Kris suddenly realized that it probably wasn’t normal for them to be pretty good at drinking at 17. Ah, well, blame it on their mother. “Beer or no, I’m gonna crush you,” said the bird. 

“Yeah, yeah, alright, hotshot.”

Kris pulled up the Grand Prix, and as the first race was counting down, they put their can in their mouth and punctured a small hole in the air pocket with their incisor. Kris didn’t even pick up their control as they grabbed the tab. Berdly, on the other hand, was getting in the zone to race, and didn’t even notice. BOOM! The race started, and Kris began to shotgun the beer. They got it down in about 3 seconds, giving Berdly a nice head start. At the sound of the crack, Berdly’s head snapped to the side. “What the fuck? What the hell was that?”

Kris slammed the can into their forehead and tossed it over their shoulder. “Watch and learn, young padawan.” They grabbed their controller and started racing, only just now realizing how rusty they were at the game. 

“God, Kris. You are a fucking animal sometimes.”

————————————————————

“Alright, Berdly. Race eight. Beers down. I’m warmed the fuck up. You ready to kiss my ass?” Kris blinked away the quiet haze surrounding their thoughts, focusing on the intro to the track. This was their moment; they were only down by 10 points. Berdly had proven to be more innovative than they thought (he had figured out how to shotgun with his beak), but it was only a matter of time now.

“Funck you, Kristal Meth. You suck at this game even harder when you’re drunk.” Berdly was obviously slurring his words by now and had been slowly swaying side to side with every turn.

“I’M drunk? Pull yourselffff together, Berdly. Don’t call me that shit, and don’t call it a fucking comeback.” The race started and Kris leaned into the screen, Berdly inches away and sticking out his tongue in concentration. Things had only gotten more competitive now that they were sitting in the wreckage of the eight-pack. 

Race after race, the gap got closer. Berdly’s drunk grunts of frustration got louder and louder; he seethed every time Kris edged out a victory. By this time, he was accidentally running into fake item blocks and diving straight into bananas. His lines, while still somehow tighter than Kris’s, were beginning to seriously wander. 

By the last race, Kris had finally gotten the lead. Berdly was seriously sweating. The score was 41-40 Kris; if Berdly could claw back victory on the last track, he would win. The race was full of cheap tricks: Kris pelted Berdly with empty cans, Berdly used his wings to cover Kris’s eyes, Kris elbowed him in the nuts (despite his groans of pain, his racing didn’t falter for a second. A real pro). It came down to the last goddamn turn, and Kris was just barely ahead. It was over: Kris had a protective trail of bananas, and Berdly was out of shells. Their victory was all but assured-

Berdly snapped his head towards the dark window and shouted in an insanely sober voice, “KRIS, IS THAT YOUR MOM?” They felt a shiver of fear run down their spine as they turned toward the window– and Berdly passed them as he crossed the finish line. He had somehow caught a draft while avoiding the banana peels. Berdly threw his precious controller onto the floor and shot into the air. 

“YES! KING OF KREATURE KEG KART! KING! KING! KIINNINGNGGGGGGG!!!” He started to do a little jig, probably one of the stupid things he learned in his stupid little dance class.

“DAMNIT! Kris also threw their controller at the ground, folding their arms in a smouldering pout.

“I whooped your ass drunk, and I’d do it d-drunk too!” Berdly fell to the floor, rolling around in a giggle fit.

“Yeah, whatever, asshole. I fuggin, let you win anyway…” Kris tried hard not to watch his frantic celebrations. 

When the giggles faded, Berdly lay on his stomach with his chin in his hands, kicking his feet like a schoolgirl. “What next? What next?” he said, blushing.

Kris was disgusted with the television that had betrayed them so. “I’m too krunk to game for realsies any more.” 

Berdly contemplated for a moment. “Hmm… we could play rock, paper, scissors!”

Kris finally turned, giving him a strange look. “Dude, whatthefuck are you talking about?”

Berdly responded by rolling around on the floor, causing a cascade of empty can noises. “I don’t knowwwww…” Kris chuckled and faced him, also lying down. 

Berdly stopped, looking up at the ceiling. “Hey, Krismas. You think Noelle hates me?”

Kris cocked their head back; the question threw them for a loop. “Wha? Why?”

“Used to be such a dick to her, you know? All that bullshit about romance and smarts annd all those shits.”

“Yeah, until like, a week ago, you were kind of the worst. Like a mini Alphys with a massive ego. But hey, now she’s gonna get married or some shit because of you. Because of us, I guess.”

Berdly rolled over to look at them. “You still hung out with me, dork.”

Kris gave a grin. “Ever hear of a court jester?”

The idea sent Berdly into a fit of laughter; he was pounding the damn floors. Poor downstairs neighbors. Anyway, now, it was Kris’s turn to ask.

“Burghley! Truth or Dare.”

He froze. “Um… truth?”

“Your parents wanted you to get with Noelle, right? That’s why you did all that shit.”

He pondered. “Yeah, kinda. She’s the only one they really approve of as a friend, I guess. You missed it, but my dad had this whole awful speech about how you’re ‘a Non-Binary!’ OOooohhhh…” He did his best impression of a spooky ghost.

Kris tried to laugh. “Your Dad Is A Bitch.” 

Berdly got a bit quiet. “Yeah, he kinda is. I never got why he moved us out here. I think he hates it here slightly less than he hates the poor people in Seattle. Kiinnda, Kinda fucked up when you think about it.”

Kris chuckled as he continued. “You got a screwed up family, too, right?”

“Yeah, kinda. You know, Mom got tired of my cheesy ass dad and started drinking. It was alright until Azzy left, now she’s just really sad all the time. And my dad is a creep now.”

Berdly sat up and scooched closer. “Whatabout Sans?”

“Not really bad, I guess. He ain’t done nothing to me, but it just feels weird to see him like, eating dinner or looking at puzzles with my mom. One of these days, he’ll make a boning joke, and I’ll have to just fuckin sock him in the jaw.” They pushed off the floor, finding their face inches from a blushing, woozy Berdly. 

“You think– you think your parents could ever like me?” The question came out of nowhere; Kris didn’t even understand why they had asked it.

Berdly thought for a while. “Don’t know, don’t fucking wanna know, and I don’t care either. I like you.” He gave a soft smile, swaying as he looked at Kris.

Kris could feel an annoying blush coming on and decided it was time to end the night. They looked away and coughed. “Alright, Nerdly. Friday school in the morning, yadda yadda. Imagine your dad yelling at you to go to bed.” Kris stood and, with a little effort, grabbed Berdly under the arms and stood him up. 

“Eeurhghghgggghhhhhh… My victory over you will never rest, Kris… I’ll lap you in my fuggin dreams…” Kris lightly shoved him into bed, pulling the covers over his soft feathers. Suddenly, he propped himself up on his elbow, eyes already drooping.

“Wait, where are you sleeping? Wait, no, fuck you, you gotta take the bed-”

Kris put a finger to his beak, smiling softly. “Shh… I’ll be ok, man. You chill.”

“Bastard…” He was already falling asleep. “I’ll kick your ass… if you sleep on the floor.”

Kris watched the bluebird drift off into a deep sleep, pleased with their efforts to cheer him up. Then, dunkenly and subconsciously, they reached out to stroke the feathers on his head, only to recoil back in horror. What the fuck was that about?

They took a few deep breaths, steadied themself, and collected any blanket-like objects and pillows they could find. Beanbags, spare sheets, and an old map: it should be just enough to keep Kris warm.

————————————————————

It was not enough. Kris was fucking freezing. They were sleepily kicking themselves hard for not thinking to bring a sleeping bag; they were unable to wake up and unable to sleep, stuck in a purgatory of delirium. Then, they heard a groggy voice behind them.

“Kris? Is that you chattering?”

They hadn’t realized they were shivering that hard. “I’m- I’m fine, Berdly. G-Go back to sleep.”

They heard the sound of a thick, fluffy comforter being lifted up. “Get in, moron."

As much as Kris believed in mind over matter, this was getting a little excessive. They could no longer even temporarily still the shivers and began to dimly wonder about hypothermia. ‘ Ah, fuck it ,” they thought, before rising from their thin cocoon and stepping over to the bed. Their limbs and fingers felt impossibly stiff from the cold and exhaustion; they could swear they were making creaking noises like Mrs. Boom. When they slipped into the bed, the bloom of warmth hit them like they were jumping into a pool. It must have been an extremely nice mattress. 

“Stubborn bastard…” he mumbled, letting the cover fall into Kris.

Kris shifted around to face the bird and yawned.

“No getting any dumbass ideas, ok? This is just for sur-.” He was already out. He looked so innocent when he slept, when he wasn’t putting on any dumb faces or acts. The bird looked uncannily close to the way Kris had first met him, young and bright. Only from close up could Kris notice just how amazing his feathers were; they couldn’t imagine the insane self-care routine he did for them. No time to think about how cute he looked, though. Kris could already feel themselves rapidly losing the war against their heavy eyelids. They drifted off into a strange dream, diving into an ocean of feathery pillows…

Chapter Text

“Berdly? Are you up, son?”

Berdly snapped awake with a start. He blinked his eyes, seeing his father sticking his head through the cracked door. “Don’t be late for school. Get up.”

Berdly had no idea what was going on, but he was able to quickly observe a few things: his alarm was going off, there was sunlight peeking through his curtains, and there was something hefty and warm resting on his chest. An awful, horrible thought crossed his mind: the worst-case scenario. He needed to act fast.

He started heaving and strained his voice. “Dad, I’m not sure I can go today… feel like crap…” He gave a few weak coughs and lay his head back on the pillow. Berdly wasn’t lying; his head was splitting, he was dehydrated as hell, and his joints felt stiff. But he knew his dad wouldn’t believe him unless he played it up.

His father lingered in the doorway, as if studying him. “No tests today?”

“No…”

“Hm. Alright. You’ll have to take care of yourself, though. I’m leaving for Melbourne.” He waited for a moment longer before closing the door. Berdly could hear him moving about the apartment, collecting his things and then leaving out the door with a slam.

Berdly took a few very shallow breaths and stared at the ceiling, steeling himself. He gently grabbed the lip of the massive, fluffy comforter and lifted it. Dear Angel, lord almighty. Kris was out cold, sleeping on their side. Their left arm was draped over his waist, their right pinned and sticking up into the blanket at an awkward angle. They had their head on Berdly’s chest, nuzzling into the plume under his shirt. There was a tiny patch of dried drool on him. 

It took everything he had not to begin hyperventilating. He slowly lowered the comforter back over Kris and desperately stared into space. They had looked so at peace, all of the reservation on their face was gone. Berdly was used to seeing them with a permanently dead face, only breaking into emotions when making a joke or laughing at one; this was completely different. There was no guard, no quiet fear on their cheeks. Their bangs had been parted, revealing their entire face; a rare sight. Even covered back up, Berdly could distinctly feel their chest rising and falling against him, their breath floating through his feathers. They had seemed more tranquil than Berdly had ever seen them, almost beautiful–

Holy fuck. Berdly had to stop thinking right now. He was still in the same position he had woken in, with his wing draped across Kris’s warm figure, but he was wide awake. He could physically feel his thoughts spiral out of control: What the hell happened? Did he do this? Did Kris do this? Was this right?!?

'Stop. Mind over matter, Berdly.'

He attempted to calm his mind by going through his morning routine– not actually, he didn’t dare move. He closed his eyes and mentally took himself through his skincare, his music, his studying, the journal, all of it. 

————————————————————

Kris was slowly, gradually blinking awake. They had just been interrupted from a strange dream by the feeling of sunlight on their head; they had been alone, exploring an endless and empty world made of pillows. The only thing they could see through their half-open eyes was Berdly’s stupid suit PJs…

“ Ah, fuck ,” they whispered in a hoarse voice. Kris’s eyes widened, and they snapped up, pushing themselves off the bed with their arms. They felt Berdly’s wing slide off their back as they rose. Dear fucking god, what had they done?

Berdly, who had been dozing, blinked awake quickly when they moved. “K-Kris!” He reached up to grab his glasses as Kris slid off the bed. They were already hyperventilating, shoulders scrunched like a cornered animal. “Uh, good morning… You okay?” He sounded almost as nervous as they did, propping himself up on the soft mattress.

“I-I’m so sorry, oh my Angel…” Kris dropped to the floor, frantically gathering up their things. The empty beer cans, the games, the snacks; they violently shoved them into their pack. “I'm so, so sorry, Berdly, I did not mean to– to do that…” They could feel a deep pit of humiliation envelop them as they realized they had curled up to him in the middle of the night. Tears were forming at the edges of their eyes. 

“Kris, it’s ok! It’s natural! You were probably just cold!” Kris didn’t respond, zipping up their backpack and standing, rushing to the door. Berdly tripped over himself getting out of bed, landing on the floor with a thud and a muted "Ough!" as Kris scrambled to the door of the apartment. He got up in a hurry, following.

“Kris! Kris, hold on! Wait!” Kris paused, hand gripping the doorknob, still breathing heavily. “Listen, I don’t care about whatever happened; I just wanted to thank you. You, uh… You helped me out of a tight spot last night.”

Kris found themselves unable to turn the handle. “Just– let me make it up to you, ok? I’ll make us French toast, I’m good at it.” God, it would be so easy to just open the door. Walk outside, and avoid whatever the hell was happening with Kris. All they would have to say is ‘No,’ and Berdly wouldn’t fight them. Kris could get out of this so easily...

...and yet, they couldn’t. They glanced over their shoulder. Berdly had dark circles under his eyes, and he had a terminal case of bedhead; it was oddly funny to see him like this.  They opened their mouth and tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Kris stood there for a moment, gripping the handle. Eventually, they gave up and let out a soft sigh. They turned and quipped, “I didn’t finish my Alfredo last night; I’m starving, and you still owe me a meal. I’ll call my mom and tell her I’m staying.” Berdly beamed as he retreated into the kitchen, beginning to quickly open and shut cabinets as he spoke. “It’s gonna be great, you’ll see! It’s my favorite dish to cook!” Kris, knowing nothing could be done to avoid what was happening, silently trudged after him into the dining room. 

————————————————————

The French Toast was fucking amazing, like a cure-all to Kris’s earlier bad mood. It was soft, fluffy, and Berdly had put the perfect amount of syrup on them. Kris wasn’t lying about starving; they were greedily carving them up and stuffing them into their mouth. The pair hadn’t spoken yet; Berdly had been cooking, and Kris had been twiddling their thumbs, trying to process the last night. Well, the food gave them something to finally talk about.

“Damn, Kris. Don’t choke.” Berdly was delicately and slowly cutting up the food he had so lovingly prepared. 

“If I die, it’s on you, man. You put crack in these.” Kris giggled before crushing down another quarter of the toast. “Where the hell did you learn to cook?”

Berdly sheepishly grinned. “Self-taught, I guess. I couldn’t stand my parents and their frozen dinners anymore, and they told me eating out was too expensive, so I had to… improvise.”

Kris was nearly finished before Berdly had touched his plate. “What? I thought you were like, ultrarich? Doesn’t your dad own a software firm or something?”

He gave a long sigh. “He’s the director of sales at the firm, yeah. And my mom is a financial advisor to this fund in Seattle. So yeah, we’re pretty well off, but they spend it on the stupidest stuff. Like, 80% of the stuff they spend on is just designer clothes and jewelry. One time, they bought ostrich leather coats for the sole purpose of flexing at some PTA meeting. They say it’s important to ‘differentiate’ themselves from the other parents here.”

Kris physically couldn’t imagine it. “Colossal pricks, huh? The fuck are you gonna do about them, anyway?”

He put his head in his hands, dropping his fork. “I don’t know. My dad is serious about moving us away, and I don’t know how to convince them I’m unhappy. I’m– I’m not sure they would even care.”

Kris stopped chewing, and they realized they had once again screwed up the conversation. They swallowed before saying, “Ah, shit. Sorry for bringing it up, I’m sure you’re gonna figure it out… Hey, listen, Noelle was telling me about maybe going to Park Point Beach on Sunday. It’s supposed to be warm then. She invited Susie, obviously, but also you and me.”

Berdly sighed into his feathers and took a second to think. He resumed eating right after he spoke. “Yeah, that sounds fun, I guess. I’ve been meaning to check out that area. Uhm, I’m not much of a… swimsuit guy, though.”

“Well, yeah, neither am I. Weird gender stuff, y’know. But, uhhh, why you?”

He looked up rather sheepishly. “Well, one, I would look stupid if I got wet. But also, I need a bit more work before I’ve got a swimsuit bod, haha.”  

Kris squinted at him. He was by no means hard to look at, unless he was somehow hiding some kind of overweight bod under his dress shirts. “You’re kidding, right? You look great, very… fit.”

He looked very uncomfortable, as if he had never really been told it was okay to wear a swimsuit in public. “Well, my parents always used to tell me, ‘ You can always be thinner, look better. ”

Kris rolled their eyes. “Yeah, I sure bet they fucking did. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I was just planning to go kayaking anyway, so you can join me! No swimwear required.”

They ravenously finished their meal as Berdly responded. “Oh, I didn’t know you liked to kayak. Where’d you pick that up?”

“My dad used to take me out on the St. Louis when I was younger, we would go up into Duluth and get butterscotch buns from this really good bakery. I love it, it’s really relaxing. Gives you a good chance to chat, too. I’ll grab his kayak before we leave, but I’m not gonna lie, I might be a bit old.”

He nodded. “Sounds great. Never done it before.” He took a second to eat. “Oh, also, what did your mom say? I know there wasn’t much going on today, but we are technically missing school.”

Kris nervously chuckled. “Well, funny thing is, she also called out sick today. Um, for the same reason, I think. She tried to scold me about drinking on a school night, but I asked her why she wasn’t at school and why she sounded so sick. She just kind of went quiet and changed her tune. I think she likes you, though. Didn’t seem too weirded out when I explained what happened.”

Berdly’s fork paused. “Wait, your mother was hungover too? What?”

Kris shook their head, and quickly responded. “It’s whatever. This time, at least, it was helpful. She would’ve probably been mad otherwise.”

Berdly chuckled. “Yeah, alright. Anyway, beach day sounds great. Hopefully, one of the two will gossip to us about how their date went tomorrow.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary. I can imagine it now.” They cleared their throat, putting on a cheesy impression of the deer and the lizard. “ Oh, Susie, I’ve dressed in that emo makeup for you… Wow, Noelle, you stupid nerd, I’m gonna shove you on the ground! Oh yes! Oh, please, yes!” 

Berdly burst out laughing. “Oh man, I could see that happening." He stopped, looking at Kris like he was weirded out. "Noelle’s not, um,  ‘into that,’ right, though? That would be kinda weird, haha.”

“No need to shame, Nerdly. When we were kids, she used to stick up for people who were being bullied. One time, she told me that yeah, she wanted to help kids who were getting picked on, but that she also ‘didn’t mind’ getting beaten up for it. She’s got issues, man.”

Berdly shivered as he laughed. “Eugh, gross.”

“That’s love, I guess. I’m pretty sure they’re soulmates.” They dramatically sighed. “Soon, they won’t even need us…”

“Hah, I don’t think Noelle needs us already. Susie, though… She’s not as stupid as I used to think, but…” He trailed off.

“Yeah, she still needs help with like, fractions and stuff. I’m sure Noelle will get her to understand, though. She pays a lot better attention to her than to Alphys. You should have seen her watching your guys’ presentation; she couldn’t look away from her.”

“What, was she too blinded by my unbelievable smarts and perfect style?” said Berdly, putting on a smug smile. Kris thought to themselves that the mission was accomplished: he was finally looking normal again. They had missed that stupid mug ever since it left the evening before. The pair continued to chat as Berdly finished his breakfast, then for a long time after that as well.

————————————————————

Noelle waved goodbye to her mother as the gate slowly creaked open. The morning was cool, but she knew it was going to be hot, so she had chosen a much lighter fit. She was praying Susie’s car had working AC. 

As if to answer, she could hear Susie’s frantic honking and the concerning sound of her old car over the creaking of the hinges. For as apprehensive as Noele was about the idea of riding in Susie’s car, she was too excited to care. She walked up to the driver's window, leaning on the door. “Hi, Susie!”

“Sup! I, uh, love your outfit! You look kinda like a Barbie.” Noelle stood back up, looking at her outfit. Damn, she did kinda look like a Barbie. “Are you getting in, or what? I promise it’s not gonna burst into flames on the 105.”

“Hmmm… I’m still deciding…” Noelle put on a fake investigative look and analyzed the car. It was a nice shade, a deep olive 1996 Subaru Outback. Noelle was having a hard time thinking about a car that would fit Susie more. It was certainly busted up, with scratches all around the outside, but the inside was too charming to pass up.

“Ah, get the fuck in.” Susie laughed and put the car in drive. “Or, I could leave you.”

“No!” said Noelle, speedwalking around the front to the passenger seat. She quickly threw open the door and slid in, making sure to click her seatbelt. The deer took a second to just take in the majesty of the car as Susie spoke.

“Alright, Bambi–” 

Everything was covered in a carpet-like texture and pattern, except for the dashboard. No, that was marked by a series of her classmates’ signatures, written in Sharpie. 

“-Here’s the plan. We’re going up to Superior–” 

The cupholders were stuffed with cassettes from old funk artists. Susie had mentioned that once, it was all her parents played growing up. 

“-to this super rad mall, and we’re gonna get cool outfits–” 

On top of the dashboard, as well as on the ceiling of the cab, there was a wide variety of very nerdy anime merch. Pins, figures, stickers, the whole deal. Most of it seemed to be centered around Mew-Mew Kitty.  

“-for our date tomorrow. Sound good?” 

The word ‘date’ snapped Noelle back to attention.

“Yep!”

“Great.” Susie let go of the brake, and the two were off. Noelle got the feeling the AC didn’t work because all of the windows were down and Susie had her arm out the window, but she tried to ignore it.

“So, uh… all the anime pins—kinda unexpected. Didn’t picture you as the, um, otaku type.”

Susie scoffed. “I bought this car used, from Alphys. Half the stuff is superglued onto the car. I’ve been meaning to borrow a saw or a grinder off of Mr. Asgore... Anime is pretty cool, but never been my thing.”

“Same here, honestly. Alphys always lost me after Sailor Who‑Knows‑What. But, uh… pretty sure Berdly’s closet is ninety‑percent Gundam mechs. He hides it from everyone, so don’t tell him I told you. I only saw when we were kids, the first time I saw his room, faha.”

“No shit, really? I always kind of thought his interests ended at school and stupid RPGs.”

“Um, Dragon Blazers is not stupid,” she said, a little too quickly. “And—he hides a lot of stuff, but under the surface, he’s not that bad...” She paused, then added, a little more quietly, “I can almost see why Kris is into him.”

Susie was speechless for a minute. She shook her head, saying, “Wait, what the fuck was that last part? Kris? Into… Berdbrain?”

Noelle giggled. “Well, yeah. Pretty sure that the whole wingman plan to get us together was half for us, half to practice flirting. They probably could have done it solo, but they wanted to do it as ‘partners in crime,’ if you– if you know what I mean, faha.”

This seemed to be blowing Susie’s mind, which confused Noelle. She assumed it was obvious. She paused for a moment, as if trying to process the idea of her friend liking Berdly, then snapped out of it. “You’re pulling my leg, asshole! Hah! Wingman scheme? Kris with Berdly? It’s probably all part of some elaborate prank on him. You watch.”

Noelle rolled her eyes and laughed. “Yeah, ok, little Ms. Observant. Anyway, what are you hunting for at the mall?”

“Uh, not much. Planning on getting a job delivering for ICE-E Pezza, because no one else wants to drive for that creepy ass place. But until then, I’m um, a little broke. I hope you don’t mind.”

“You’re not gonna let me cover you, are you?” Noelle tried to sound casual, but her voice caught on the word cover. She nudged Susie’s shoulder. “Too butch for that, huh?”

She could see the blush forming on the side of her scaly face. “Yeah, not happening. Not fair to take your money.” She hesitated, then mumbled, “I should be the one taking you out, anyway.” Noelle rolled her eyes. “What are you getting, then?”

“Thinking something light and kinda cutesy. My sweaters have been turning into saunas lately, Faha.”

Susie looked like she was sweating as she gave the deer a side eye. “Nothing… nothing emo?”

Noelle couldn’t think of a coherent response, so she just blushed and giggled as the pair made their way along the highway, listening to funky old music and the sound of the wind.

————————————————————

Noelle was sorting through her impressive stack of skirts, blouses, and light dresses when Susie stepped out of the dressing room. To say she looked different would be a bit of an understatement. Gone was her usual purple flannel and jeans; she was wearing a much more unique outfit. Black platform boots boosted her already frightening height advantage over Noelle. She was wearing long, camo cargo pants with a patterned and sparkling wallet chain hanging from the belt loops. She was wearing a thick hunting belt with a buckle that held a small pocketknife. On top, she was wearing a somewhat ripped-up, purple, and form-fitting tank top under a mesh top. 

Noelle was having trouble speaking, breathing, or just thinking in general as she looked the tall lizard up and down. “I–I like it, but I think it’s a bit much, right?” said Susie, nervously looking at herself in the mirror. “I don’t even know where I would wear it, heh… Everyone in Hometown always sees me in like, much chiller fits. Think this would cause a few heart attacks.”

Noelle was quite sure it was already causing one. She rubbed her forehead, pretending to think; mostly just trying to hide her nose, which was shining like a red sun. 

Susie turned around to face Noelle, towering over her crumpled pose. “Well? What do you think?” She waited for a few moments for a response, but when Noelle failed to so much as squeak, she turned back around to the dressing room. “That embarrassing, huh? My bad, damn. I’ll change back–”

Noelle shot up onto her hooves. “W-Wait! I, uh, I like it…. I like it a lot.”

Susie turned back, a little sheepish. “Oh, really? You, uh, think other people will mind it? It’s kind of intense.”

Noelle walked over to her, staring up at her with wide eyes. “Please, please let me get it for you.”

“Dude, what? It’s like 160$ for the whole fit. And that’s before tax! Nah, man, I’ll save and maybe come–”

Noelle grabbed Susie’s hand, squeezing it like a warden to a prisoner. “ Please. ”

Susie chuckled, and she looked a bit spooked.“Y-You’re really serious about this, huh?” There was a strange look in her eye—not quite a smirk, not quite a blush. “Alright, Killer. I’ll go change back out, and if you promise not to hurt me, you can get it.”

Her eyes still wide, Noelle frantically giggled. She hadn’t meant to be so demanding at all. “I-I’m sorry, it’s totally up to you, I just wanted to encourage you to get the stuff you wanted to–”

“Sh, it’s ok. I get it. I’ll be right back, ok?” She smiled and re-entered the changing room. Noelle collapsed back onto her chair, exhausted.

————————————————————

“Listen, Noelle. You can drop this stupid prank. Kris has immunized me from all this shit.”

“I swear, I’m telling the truth! My mom was always just– very anti-fried-food when I was growing up, that’s all. You gotta believe me!”

Susie just stared down at her as the pair stood in the middle of the crowded food court. “You’ve never had a fucking corn dog? Are you fucking serious?”

Noelle just stared at the floor in shame until one claw hooked under her chin and lifted her gaze back up to Susie. “Will she kill me if I get you one?”

Noelle blushed. “She– She doesn’t have to know, faha…”

Susie smiled and grabbed the deer’s hand, leading them over to “HARRY’S HOT DOG HEATED DOMAIN!!!!!!” It was the cheesiest storefront in the entire mall, and it wasn’t even close. Noelle could feel a strong, overpowering aura of grease exuding from it. 

When they got to the front of the line, Susie slammed down her fist on the counter before Noelle had the chance to even reach for her wallet. The pizzafaced cashier was a unfazed as she released a handful of crumpled bills and coins onto the counter. “Two corn dogs, extra fried. And, uh, tell Harry to just go fucking nuts on them.”

The cashier looked extraordinarily bored. “Ma’am, you want it…” He took an impossibly deep sigh. “ Harry’s Way? ”

“Yes, sir. And you can keep the change if you, under no circumstances, accept this deer’s money. She’s a notorious counterfeiter.”

Noelle was shocked. “H-Hey! Am not!”

But the cashier was already gone to the back, making various splorching and frying noises. Noelle found herself a little afraid of what exactly ‘ Harry’s Way ’ entailed.

Soon, the two were sitting at a food court table and digging into the bulging, malformed corn dogs. Or, at least, Susie was. She did not seem concerned with the waterfall of grease and the way chili exploded out with every bite. Apparently, Harry preferred his corn dogs injected with lethal amounts of hot, hot chili. Noelle was still staring at it, trying to steel her stomach. 

“Agh, comgn on,” said Susie, mouth full. She swallowed. “Pig out, man. Your mom isn’t watching, haha.”

Susie had meant it as a joke, but the mere thought of her mother seeing this abomination sent a shiver up her spine. The mayor would probably drop dead on the spot. 

Susie was already cleaning the last beans off the mangled wooden stick. “Dude! You’re gonna love it. Come on, don’t you trust me?”

Noelle gulped, because she did. And so, after much rigamarole, she finally took a bite and– oh, it’s actually really good! The bread acted as a kind of cornbread to go with the chili, and the hot dog gave it all a very filling, meaty quality. Susie started eating the stick as Noelle daintily munched on her corn dog.

“See? I have great taste, sugar. First the clothes, now the corn dog.” Susie chuckled. “Who’s the good influence now, huh?”

“Ohmyangel, if my mom ever found out I got you and an outfit that looked like… that… and ate this thing, she’d kill me, Fahaha…”

Susie squinted at her with a smile, leaning over the table with the stick hanging out of her mouth like a toothpick. “‘Like that,’ huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Something wrong with that outfit?”

Noelle just stared at her corndog, blushing.

Susie leaned back and sighed with a laugh. “Ah, whatever. Mark my words, holiday. Can’t hide me forever. You’re wayyyyyy too into me for that.”

And the blush only deepened.

————————————————————
Finally, the pair was leaving the mall as the sun was just beginning to set. Susie twirled her key on one finger as she carried her tiny bag and Noelle’s small wardrobe of new summer outfits.

“You know, one of these days, I’ll teach you how to pick the locks on the abandoned storefronts. A lot of fun things to find in there.”

Noelle looked up from the asphalt in shock. “You’ve seriously gone in those?”

“Oh, yeah. You meet a lot of nice security dudes, see a lot of rusty nails, and get a bunch of old dusty shit that didn’t sell. No one will bother you if you’re not screwing around or vandalizing… Which, you know, I was, but that’s beside the point. Point is, this place is huge, and parts of it get pretty creepy.”

The thought of going through some empty mall stores haunted by the ghosts of vengeful cashiers perked Noelle’s ears. 

As the two got back into the beat-up car, a thought crossed Noelle’s mind. “Wait, hold on. I thought our first date was tomorrow. What was this?”

Susie thought as she started the car and checked the mirrors. “Nah, ummm. This was just like a pre-date. You know, you gotta prepare for important stuff like that… Listen, just don’t think about it too hard, ok? I was just glad to spend the day with you, honestly.”

Noelle nodded. She could absolutely live with that. 

————————————————————

Toriel was not in the habit of barging into her children’s rooms, but she could hear bizarre motions coming from inside Kris’s room. The last time she let this happen, Kris had smuggled a possum into the house, and it took weeks to locate and remove it. So, reluctantly, she opened the door. 

Kris was in there, alone. They had “cleaned” the room they shared with Asriel, shoving all the trash, dirty clothes, and empty wrappers up against the wall. There was a free space in the middle, in which something very peculiar was occurring. Kris had their headphones on, eyes closed, and was dancing with a broom. It was not just some wild, chaotic, Kris-like motion, no. Her child had their body pressed to the wooden stick, head down against it with a focused expression. They were rotating slowly around the room, like a choreographed movement. They took slow, gliding steps, sliding across the scuffed floor in sharp diagonals. Their foot flicked out suddenly, snapping back like the sting of a match. Then they pivoted, rotating on their heel with practiced intensity, pulling the broom into a slow, intimate circle.

Toriel stopped to just observe, trying to figure out what the heck was going on. The dance became more complex, Kris doing their best to lean backwards without the support of a partner and twirling in some imaginary arms. Their spine was a straight line, shoulders pulled back with dramatic purpose, and the space between their brows was tightened with focused intent. It was an elegant yet passionate dance, with Kris very clearly following a track within their headphones. The music pulsed through their limbs, every beat drawing a new flourish: a sudden dip, a dramatic stillness, a snap of motion that carved into the floor. They kicked their legs, twirled around the broomstick, and generally danced in a rather sultry manner. 

After observing for a few minutes as Kris repeated the routine, Toriel put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat. Well, it took a few increasingly loud tries, but eventually Kris’s eyes snapped open. They stared at their mother for a moment as the broom fell with a loud crack, and they took off their headphones.

“M-Mom! How long have you been standing there?” They were out of breath, cheeks flushed red.

“Child, are you dancing the tango? What on earth for?” she said in a slightly accusatory tone.

“Uhm, for the end-of-year dance! Susie’s going with me, and I want to– to prank her! She won’t know how to tango, and I’ll just drag her along, it’ll be hilarious!”

“Really.” 

“Yes, Mom, really. C’mon, you know I love to prank my friends! What’s the problem with this one?”

“Oh, nothing…” She giggled. “I just wasn’t aware that Susie was also taking dance classes.”

The blush deepened on Kris’s face, even though by now they had caught their breath. “Did you, uh, need something?”

“Just letting you know that your brother rang. He wanted to talk to you, but you didn’t answer when I called up for you.”

“Ah! Really?” They ran over to their bedside table, picking up their phone. “Crap, I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll call him back.”

“Actually, he said he was going to leave a voicemail.”

“Oh– well, I guess I’ll listen, then call him back? I’m sorry I missed the live phone call.”

Toriel sighed. “It’s ok, my child. Just make sure not to lose contact with your brother. Alright, I’ll leave you to deal with that and get back to your…  pranking. ” She winked at Kris before closing the door behind her. 

————————————————————

Kris breathed a heavy sigh of relief as their mother closed the door. They let the broomstick fall to the floor and sat on their bed, looking through their phone for the voicemail. They hadn’t talked to their brother in a bit, or, at least, not over the phone. Azzy still talked to Kris over Monster Discord, where they gossiped about Hometown happenings, and Azzy talked about college drama. Ah, found it. 

“Hey, Kris. How are you? This is Azzy, obviously, haha. Um, I’m calling from the computer lab right now, had a break studying, and figured I’d check back home. I know I’ll be back there sooner or later, but still, I miss you guys. Finals are going well here, not much of note. I’ve been talking more to Chara about home, and they want to come visit sometime. You’d like them a lot; you’re pretty similar. Anyway, enough about me. How are you and Mom doing? I hope whatever the heck is going on with Sans isn’t affecting you too much. I know it’s probably pretty weird to see them, uh, be together and stuff. He’s a good guy, though. Probably the best fit for her. Try to keep an open mind, ok? Also, how are your finals coming? They’re almost upon you, right? Hope you’re not dreading them too much… 

Uh, also, the reason I wanted to talk to you in particular is about… Well, Mom has been saying some concerning things lately. You know, sleeping over at a friend’s house without telling her, or staying out in the pouring rain, or leaving the house in the middle of the night… Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but whatever it is… You can tell me about it. I’m sure we can figure it out, ok? And don’t try to tell me you’re fine like you always do. I can tell, Kris. Mom kinda tattled to me about how weird you’ve been acting recently, she said she thought I would know how to handle it better than she would. So, you know, just call me back and tell me about whatever’s going on. Whatever’s pushing you to do all this strange stuff. Listen, I didn’t know them all that well when I was still home, but from what you and Noelle have told me, Susie and Berdly are not your… They’re not your ordinary kinda people. I know you might feel alone, like they’re the only ones you can turn to, but I’m here for you… 

Look, this is kind of coming out messed up, and I know you don’t need me butting in, but I hope you know what I’m saying. Susie… She’s a little intense, Kris. A little bit more than intense, actually. She’s got a whole lot going on, and I’m not sure she’s a good influence on you. And, Angel, I remember you always laughing with me about the stupid stuff Berdly got up to. All the bragging, the way he used to chase after Noelle like a lost puppy; I don’t know what’s driving you to go to him, of all people, for comfor-”

Kris hastily reached for the phone and whipped it across the room as tears beaded at the corners of their eyes. The phone ricocheted off the wall with a thud and landed on Asriel's bed, continuing its message. 

“-weird, lonely guys like him. Listen, while I’m still at school, you should reconnect with Noelle more. She was always such a sweet, normal, obedient girl; she could help you. 

Anyway, pal, I’ve got to go. Remember, I’m here for you. Give me a ring back when you’ve got the chance. I love you, and I’m looking out for you.”

Kris stared at the floor, numb. They...

...didn’t really know what to do. 

————————————————————

realmonster420: berdly

realmonster420: come to the creek

masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: What’s up?

realmonster420 is typing…

realmonster420 is typing…

realmonster420 is typing…

realmonster420: just come please

masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Alright, I’m on my way.

Berdly had no idea what to expect as he fought through the bushes, sunset streaking through the tree line. He was anticipating some kind of prank, which was usually the answer when Kris was being vague. He chuckled as he struggled to find the trail, thinking about the time Kris had filled his locker to the brim with spring-loaded snakes. They had asked him to grab his extra textbook even though they already had one, and he had fallen for it, hard. He wondered what kind of prank Kris was up to at the creek, maybe they had dyed the water red or– oh.

He popped out into the clearing to a perfectly undisturbed creek. A ways away, he saw a figure that he expected to be Kris leaning on the railing of the old wooden arch bridge. It had been built when the creek was a lot higher, and no longer touched the banks of the stream, just bridging gravel to gravel. They were facing away from him.

“Hey, Kris. What’s up, man?” He walked over to them, carefully navigating the mossy rocks and getting onto the bridge. For some reason, it smelled familiar, like something was burning. Kris seemed not to have heard him, so he tapped on their shoulder. “Kris?”

Kris jumped and spun around, yanking out their earbuds and letting them hang from their pocket. “Oh, um, Berdly. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come up.” They looked deeply unsettled, and their eyes were red.

“Woah, dude. Are you ok?”

Kris turned back towards the railing, collecting themselves and putting something in their mouth before they spoke. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just, uh…” They trailed off. The wisps of smoke leaving their mouth were shining in the twilight.

Berdly was a bit taken aback. “Dude, are you smoking?” Now he knew where he recognized the scent; it was like the smoke his father was often surrounded by, only a bit richer and sweeter.

Kris chuckled mid-cough, switching the slim black cigarette to their other hand as they dug in their pocket. Out came a sleek, gold-edged black case with curling French script across the lid. Kris popped it open, revealing three-quarters of a pack of the same small black and gold cylinders. “Paris Opals. Want one?”

Berdly was, to say the least, shocked. “Where the hell’d you even get those?”

They clicked the case shut and slid it away. “No? Suit yourself. A gift from Dess, before it all went down. Was gonna save them for a special occasion, but…”

They turned around, leaning on the railing with their back and giving Berdly a weary smile. “...I figured, ‘ Why not waste them with some dumb bird? ”

Berdly rolled his eyes, joining them on the railing. “All right, Kris, very funny. You’ll have to talk sooner or later.”

Kris took a long drag before responding. “Yeah, yeah, what is this, an interrogation? Why’s something got to be up? Maybe I just asked you here to make small talk. How’ve you been enjoying your day off? I see you’re out of your usual formalwear.”

It’s true: he was out of his usual dress shirt and shorts. Instead, he had some baggy old cargo pants and a too-small blue graphic tee of Hatsune Miku . He noted that Kris was also out of their usual outfit, still dressed in the baggy graphic tee from last night. He instinctively spoke, “Formalwear? I wear those dress shirts to channel my massive intelligence and professionalism! That outfit is crucial to my test–”

Kris was just staring at him, deadpan. “Y-Yeah, I figured I didn’t have anyone to impress today. Sorry, I know I’m not very fashionable.”

Kris took a drag. “Sorry? You’re wearing your clothes.” They paused, giving Berdly the elevator eyes. “I don’t know, I think it looks good. Never took you for a Miku guy, though.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, my parents would probably call it a girly hobby or something if I told them, but I think the Vocaloid stuff sounds pretty good.” 

Kris nodded. “Makes sense for them. Been up to anything interesting today?” 

“Just, uh, cooking. Little bit of gaming, little bit of writing.”

Kris looked intrigued. “Writing?”

Berdly paused, hesitant. “I do a little bit of poetry on the side, ok? No big deal. And anyway, I’m here to talk to you, not the other way around!”

He stood up, tried to look like a detective in those old noir films he loved, and crossed his arms. “What’s going on, Kris? Smoking out here, alone? Not exactly normal behavior.”

Kris sighed and lifted one shoe, putting out the butt of the cig on their sole. “Alright, alright, fine. Gimme a second." They closed their eyes and took a few deep breaths before speaking.

"I got this weird call from my brother. Nothing huge, just—kind of messed with my head. I didn’t really want to sit at home thinking about it alone.”

Berdly relaxed, leaning back up against the railing. “Weird? Weird how? What, he’s getting married or something?”

They gave a weak chuckle. “I wish… It’s– It’s hard to explain. Just look.” They pulled out their phone and handed it to Berdly, with the transcript of a voicemail on it. He took a minute to read it, and then to reread it, shaken. 

“Yeah. I know, right?” Kris turned back around, looking out over the railing and into the trailing stream. The water was glimmering with beautiful oranges and reds, contrasted by the dead, gray rocks surrounding it. Their hands were softly shaking.

“Holy shit…” Berdly joined Kris on the railing, trying to still his breathing. Asriel’s words were still bouncing around in his mind.

The pair stood like that for a while, enjoying the reprieve of silence. Neither could speak. 

“I-I thought your brother was cool…”

“Yeah. My mom is just happy I’m making friends, but I guess that’s not enough for him.”

“I guess I’m not enough for him.”

Kris cringed, putting their head in their hands. “Yeah,” they mumbled. 

“Is… Is that what I was really like? Bragging, following Noelle around ‘like a puppy?”

They turned toward him, lifting their face slightly. “No, Berdly… It’s– It’s hard. You’ve changed a lot since Azzy last saw you. I think you were just trying your best… to be liked, I think. To be someone unique, and... funny...”

Berdly felt his voice choke. “Did–” He fought to keep his composure. “Did you really use to say that kind of stuff about me?”

Kris let out a weird sound, like a strangled sob, and they gripped the railing with white knuckles. Their jaw was tightly shaking, they couldn’t meet his eyes, and it took them a second to respond with a wobbling voice. “I’m sorry, Berdly.”

Berdly hesitantly reached up and put a wing on their shoulder. As soon as he did, they turned and folded into him, wrapping him in a tight hug. Berdly was shocked, but he slowly and gently hugged them back. 

“ I’m so, so sorry, Berdly, I’m so sorry, I didn’t get it back then, I’m so sorry, I didn’t understand you, I was horrible to you, I’m so sorry…” Kris kept mumbling apologies over and over into his chest, gradually devolving into sobs. “ I had this awful dream about how mean I used to be to you, and then Azzy called, and it just made me remember, and I’m so, so sorry…”

Berdly was out of his depth here; he had no idea how to solve the problem, and he had absolutely no clue what he was feeling. He gently stroked their head with his soft feathers, saying, “It’s ok, Kris, it’s ok. We’ve- We've both changed a lot.”

The pair stood like that as the sun continued to set, Kris crying their eyes out all over Hatsune Miku and Berdly holding them as close as he possibly could. 

Eventually, after a long while, Kris sniffed and pulled away from his chest. They looked up at him, and he looked back down with his best attempt at a cheesy grin. “If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll have that smoke now.”

Kris let out a laugh-sob and pulled away fully, wiping at their eyes and nose with the sleeves of their graphic tee. “Y-you and me both, brother.” They took out the pack and handed one to Berdly, lighting their own with a shaky hand. When they tried to light his, their hands were just shaking too much, and Berdly didn’t want to risk accidentally burning off his feathers. Kris took a small drag and said, “Hold on,” cig still gripped in their lips. They slipped the lighter away and gently grabbed the back of Berdly’s head, pulling him down closer to them and moving the tip of his cig into the burning tip of their own. “Pull,” they softly commanded, and Berdly found himself obeying, even though he didn’t know how to smoke. It was an intimate enough gesture to bring a small blush to his face.  

When both were lit, Kris grabbed their cig, taking it out of their mouth. “There,” they said. “Who needs steady hands, huh?” The pair chuckled and went back to leaning on the railing. 

Berdly took his cig, looking at the intricate details of its gilding. “One time... I tried my father’s cigs, when I was way younger. Hated it.”

“These are pretty fancy, from Paris or something. I don't know, I know jack shit about them. Not many smokers in my family, that was always more Noelle’s thing. Oh, and, uh, sorry about your Miku shirt. I kinda...  messed it up.”

He looked down at his shirt, covered in tears and snot. “Ah, she’ll live. Just glad you got it all out.”

“Yeah, I think I was holding all that in for a bit too long.” They chuckled like they were strangely a bit ashamed of their behavior.

There was a pause as Berdly debated asking his question. “Have you thought about what you’re gonna tell your brother?”

Kris took a drag and thought, still staring at the setting sun. “I’m not sure. ‘Suck an egg,’ probably. He’s not around, he’s not seeing what I’m seeing…

They paused, like they were holding their words in their throat. "...He’s not seeing you, weirdo.” They looked away from the stunning skylights and smiled at him. 

“Good plan. I’ll do something similar, probs.”

Kris took their cig in their lips and stuck out their hand. “Agree to stop caring about it?”

“What, about what people think?”

“Susie and Noelle seem not to care, and they’re gonna be making out all the time. I think we can do a little better than that.”

Berdly chuckled and shook their hand (although he wasn’t really sure what they meant). “Deal.”

After sharing the gorgeous sunset and talking through the whole thing, the pair eventually split. But even though he didn’t want to leave, Berdly walked home feeling somewhat liberated.   

Chapter Text

Noelle slowly walked towards the edge of the graveyard, where the fence stopped and the forest began. Susie was turned away, studying a trail map as she crept up.

“BOO!” Susie shot into the air, the paint cans in her backpack loudly jangling around. She whipped toward the deer.

“What the hell, man! Almost killed me!” She was already out of breath as she glared down at her.

“Oh– oh my angel,” said Noelle, trying to talk through her giggles. “You should see the look on your–” She paused, uncertain if she had screwed up. “Uh, your face?” Susie was staring down at her with her jaw open, a deep blush forming on her cheeks. “You ok, Susie? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you that bad–”

“Um, no, haha, I’m chilling.” Susie snapped out of it, nervously scratching the back of her neck. “You just look really, really good. Wasn’t expecting… this…”

Noelle had almost forgotten about her look for the night. She was out of her normal, mother-approved outfit, instead in something different. She had a mesh, long-sleeved undershirt with black and lavender stripes, with a lace-collared blouse over it, complete with little dark pink heart buttons. She still had her typical pleated black skirt, but underneath was a pair of white tights, decorated with a spiderweb pattern. She had also begged Catti to help her with the same kind of rock-band makeup she had done for that CD cover that Kris had somehow found out about. Susie was back to staring and drooling

.

“I, um, figured a change of pace could be nice, especially if we’re gonna do some ‘totally rad’ graffiti. That’s how you described it, right?”

The lizard turned her brain back on. “Um, yeah. Yeah! It’s gonna be metal, just you wait and see. Kris loved it when I took them up here.” She shook her head and turned away, refocusing on the trail map. Noelle took a minute to take in the scenery.

Susie was still in her normal outfit. Noelle was a little disappointed that she hadn’t worn the cool new one they had bought at the mall the day before, but it was alright. Noelle didn’t mind much, because at least with this one, she could see Susie’s scaly tail wagging furiously as she walked down the path. Hate to see her go, love to watch her leave, am I right???

————————————————————

Susie was rooting around in her backpack as Noelle admired the tunnel. It wasn’t large, the two had to lean down to stand, and it was quite dark. Despite the less-than-ideal conditions, the concrete walls were littered with tags and drawings. There was a weak stream flowing through it, with each side of the tunnel being rough rocks. 

“You know, I’ve never actually… broken the law before, faha…” Noelle was lingering at the entrance.

“Ah, dude, it’s no big deal. Undyne and Napstablook couldn’t care less about this place.” 

She continued, pulling out spray cans as Noelle walked in. “Yeah, I brought Kris down here just once, but I think they come down a lot without me. They always love taking weird ass nature walks in the dead of night. They’re the artist behind all the shapes and shit.”

Shapes wasn’t the right word, Noelle thought it looked more like geometric rambling. Fractals and lines sprawling across the tunnel, not just on the walls but on the rocks too. They laced under and over the other drawings and latticed into an obsessive, all-consuming backdrop. Noelle thought it looked quite like the modern art she had seen in the Tweed Museum.

Compared to Kris’s chaos, the other art was obvious. The tunnel was covered in rough sketches of purple dragons, some in a vaguely Chinese style and others straight out of medieval portraits. There were a lot of teeth; that was a common theme. Some had been sketched to look like they had messages carved into them. “ Kiss the My Ass ” or “ I Heart Mom ” or “ 10 billion Revive Mints to the Goat Fluff ” (Noelle didn’t get that one). In fact, there were a lot of messages written over Kris’s fractals, all in the same handwriting that Noelle had grown to love. They were, admittedly, barely legible. One time, Kris had joked about needing a Rosetta Stone to cheat off of her. There were also a few drawings that clashed with the violent colors of the rest of the tunnel, icy-blue fractals with sketches of snowflakes overtop. It must have been a collaboration by the two. 

“I like all your dragons.”

Susie chuckled nervously. “Yeah, sorry if it comes off as childish. I just like dragons, I guess.”

Noelle stopped taking it all in and walked back over to Susie, leaning over her shoulder with a teasing coo. “I also like the snowflakes~”

Susie bristled as she pulled out the last of the paint cans. “Shut up! It was Kris’s idea anyway, I just saw their cool spiral and– and, um thought the snowflakes would go well with them!”

Noelle stood back up, picking out 2 cans, red and green. “Mhhmm. Must’ve been a part of their famous wingman act." 

Susie cleared her throat. “So, uh, know what you’re gonna put up?”

Noelle had been reaching to start, but she looked back. “It’s ok if I draw over your guys’ stuff, right? Don’t want to overreach, faha.”

“Oh yeah, dude. Not much canvas space.” She was picking up some white and blue cans.

Noelle wasn’t exactly certain about what she wanted to do, so she just started. On the ceiling, she put up alternating red and green dots, then connected them with a looping black paint, making little Christmas lights to decorate the whole area. She stood back, admiring the concrete walls. There was a nice trio, between Kris’s deep green fractals, Susie’s radical dragons, and Noelle’s fake lights. The kind of thing Ms. Toriel would have loved if it wasn’t, you know, illegal. 

Susie was crouched low to the floor, sketching flames rising from the rocks. It worked as a nice parallel to the decorations. The two stayed in the tunnel for a while, quietly putting up artwork. Noelle continued with stuff like little snowflakes surrounding Susie’s sketches, sheet music of songs she loved, and a kind of cruddy sketch of Berdly, Kris, Noelle, and Susie at the entrance of the tunnel. Susie spent most of the time trying to perfect a very realistic-looking skull; she was sticking out her tongue in concentration. It turned out pretty well, and she looked cute doing it. Finally, the pair finished by Susie supporting Noelle and helping her reach the ceiling, which had remained empty. First, she put up more Christmas lights, and then did 3 tags. Noelle’s, and her best impressions of what Susie’s and Kris’s would look like. She supposed they were leaving a lot of evidence of who did all the graffiti, but she doubted Undyne would care. They weren’t hurting anyone, after all. 

The two were standing back and admiring the work when Susie checked her phone. 

“Oh, shit. We’re late, dude.”

“Late for what?”

“Dinner!” She grabbed Noelle’s hand with a stand and excitedly dragged her back through the trail to her car, which was parked outside the graveyard. “Get in! You’re gonna love this place.”

————————————————————

La Alhambra was a place Noelle had never been before, but apparently, Susie had gone there enough to know one of the chefs. It was a cramped, shoddy-looking, small diner just off Route 35. Spanish-Arabic fusion. Noelle had yet to try either of those foods, let alone the two together. 

“My mom knew the guy who owned this place. Croaked a few years back, but I still love it here,” Susie explained. 

“My mom always looked down on, uh… ethnic food. Never had Mexican or Arabic before.”

Susie opened up the menu excitedly. “Nah, that’s the cool part. This is Spanish , like from Europe. Want me to order for you? I think I got an idea of what you’ll like.”

Noelle had no idea what anything on the menu was, so she just gave up with a nervous chuckle. “Go ahead, faha…”

Susie ordered two plates of Lamb Paella and Patatas Bravas Halal for herself, as well as Couscous con Mariscos and Mint Tea Andaluz “ for the lady. ” Noelle found she quite enjoyed being taken out by Susie. 

“Um, what’s your mom like? I’m excited to meet her, faha.”

Susie had a hard time eating as she stuffed her face. “She’s gonna love you, Ellie. She’s the floor manager at the metalworks up north, a real hard worker. Always wanted me to–” She paused mid bite, cautious. “She always wanted me to date, uh… ‘High Society,’ you know? Not– Not that I’m only doing this to please her, hah.”

“Fahaha, so did my mom! Obviously, I’m not doing this to please her. Or to get her mad, faha.” Noelle was picking at her food. It was great, but she was awful with spice. It always made her sweat and lit up her nose. 

“You think she’ll ever be chill with me?” Susie was polishing off her food already, and she looked like she wanted to eat the utensils as well.

“I think so,” she said with as much confidence as she could muster. “My Mom and Dad weren’t exactly perfect children, so I’m hoping.”

“What, they put up graffiti too?”

“Um, when she was about our age, my mom snuck out to this concert and met my dad, faha.”

Susie seemed to think this was utterly hilarious. “Are you– are you fuckin’ with me? They met at a concert?” She grabbed her stomach and her eyes, and her head threw back with her signature laugh. 

“W-What’s so funny??”

“Oh, oh man…” She wiped small tears from her eyes. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Just, uh…” She checked her phone. “Eat up, quick. It’s good, right?”

Noelle chuckled nervously as she looked at the remaining bits of her couscous. 

When Noelle slid back into the passenger seat, she was expecting to go home. But judging by Susie’s expression, she had another plan.

“Alright, listen. I know I said we were just gonna do graffiti and dinner, but I sorta had something else planned. How do you feel about surprises?”

Noelle hated surprises. “I love surprises!” she said. To her, ‘surprise’ meant Kris climbing into her window at 5 in the morning and scaring her when she woke up. Not a lot of pleasant memories. 

Susie clapped her hands together and started the car. “Perfect!”

————————————————————

The Subaru was parked a few blocks down from the bookstore Susie had wanted them to go to. It looked like it was packed, but Noelle had no idea why it would be. Susie took a breath and reached into the back of the car, pulling back two plastic bags.

“Okay, so, originally? I got you this whole cute emo outfit so we could match—but damn. You already aced it. Way better than anything I picked. Jerk. So, instead, I’m just gonna go into the back and change into the fit we got at the mall. DON’T ask why we need emo outfits, that’s the surprise.”

Noelle looked through the bag meant for her. It was a lot of cute clothes, and she was touched. “Aww, Susie, you got this all for me? It looks really good! I can totally–”

Susie stopped halfway through clambering into the backseat. “Please. Keep what you have on, you look a– Amazing. Also, no looking back here, so turn around, dumbass.”

Nolee turned back around, playing I Spy with herself to avoid the temptation to look back on the changing Susie. 

————————————————————

Strangely, the bookstore was empty, but Susie didn’t seem to care. She led the deer by the hand down into the basement of the place, where one could hear a faint screaming and rhythmic pounding. The hallway reeked of incense and beer. The posters—sun-bleached and curled at the edges—seemed to leer down at the pair. Noelle was starting to worry that she was being abducted. She didn’t recognize any of the bands on the posters; they all had weird names like “Suck Puppets” or “Red House Painters.”

Finally, the lizard excitedly pushed open a pair of double doors at the end of the hallway, entering a somewhat large meeting room. Noelle could hardly believe her eyes.

The hall was packed from wall to wall, all with young monsters wearing the kind of emoish garb that Susie and Noelle were wearing. There was a stage against the far wall, lit by a few dim spotlights and flanked by colossal speakers. There, on stage, was none other than Catti Cattenheimer, flanked by 4 other monsters that Noelle didn’t know. Catti was wiping sweat from her brow and waving to the crowd as she gripped her microphone stand. She seemed to be the lead singer, with 2 more guitars and a drum set behind her. The crowd was going insane; they must have just finished a song.

Noelle had to shout for Susie to hear her. “SUSIE!! What– What is this???”

Susie turned towards her, a massive grin on her face. Her eyes were wide. “Dude! Catti runs a band, and they’re playing tonight! It’s gonna be fucking awesome!!”

Noelle looked back at the stage. Catti had mentioned wanting to start a band in an offhanded way a few times, but she had never imagined this. Even in the dark, musty basement, they looked like rock stars. 

Suddenly, none other than Jockington was slithering on stage, holding a mike with his tail. He looked the same as always, having apparently forgone the emo theme. 

“Alright, party people! I hope you’ve been enjoying tonight’s show. We’re only getting started! For our next song, I’m proud to announce a very special guest. First-time performer here, but I promise folks, you won’t be able to tell. Give it up for–” He read off a small notecard in his hand. “-The astounding, the K-Rated, Lieutenant Dreemurr!”

Noelle’s jaw dropped to the floor as Kris slowly walked on stage. 

The crowd was screaming as if being raptured, and kris had a small peace sign up, holding a large, white, triangular electric guitar in the other hand. It was… a lot to take in.

Their outfit was insane, a level above anyone else’s in the room. They had on a pair of light blue high heels, deep navy leather pants that were a size too big, and a white, frilly, button-up undershirt. Over the white, they had some kind of lingerie-esque black leather straps across their chests, a spiked choker, and a jacket. The jacket was fantastic– leather, but a bright, glittery, sparkling blue. It had a ridged tail flowing off of its back, and a colossal collar with an interior of bright pink, orange, and green gemstones. They had gaudy, pale blue makeup on, even though their face was basically expressionless. They looked like an androgynous David Bowie, if he had ever been on the Smurfs. 

Susie was barely holding herself together with laughter as Noelle stared on in shock. “Holy shit! They actually did it! I never thought they’d pull through!”

“Please, folks, give it up for the Fourth Degrees and their special guest! Make some noise!”

“Oh fuck, Noelle, come on! We gotta get up there!” Noelle was snapped out of her trance by the sudden realization that she was being scooped up. In an instant, she was on top of Susie’s shoulders, getting an extremely clear view despite the massive crowd. 

The drummer counted off, and the band began to shred. They were playing Moldallica’s Despicable Zeros . Noelle thought she remembered Kris saying they loved this song, but it was quite hard to think over the insane noises of the crowd and the band. 

The band sounded amazing. Not professional, obviously, their instruments were clearly budget, and the basement wasn’t exactly a soundstage, but as good as Noelle could have ever dreamed. The most impressive was Kris, who, even though they showed no emotion, was leaping around the stage with their guitar. Knee-sliding, playing behind their back, and generally getting in the crowd’s face with their playing. Kris looked especially focused on the chorus, almost like they were imagining someone in their head.

“ Soldier boy, made of clay, now an empty shell, 

Twenty-one, only son, but he served us well,

Bred to kill, not to care, do just as we say, 

Finished here, greeting death, he’s yours to take away… ”

Noelle was gradually feeling the shoulders she was on start to shake and move. It seemed like Susie was creating a mosh vortex around herself through sheer force of will. The song went on for almost 9 minutes, with Catti managing to sound like a heavily smoking, usually screaming man instead of her usual dead demeanor. Her performance was interrupted by an astounding solo from Kris, where they literally dove across the stage on their back, sliding on the ground while they played. Still, somehow, they maintained a deadpan face. 

Eventually, the song did come to an end, and Kris slipped away behind the stage to the screams of the crowd. Catti and her group continued for a few more songs, each louder and insane than the last. 

————————————————————

It was no small relief when the pair stepped out into the cool night air, free from the basement, which had grown hot and humid from the wild gyrations of the crowd. Susie was covered in sweat and still panting from the mosh. 

“Holy shit… that was…awesome…” Susie sat down on the curb as the crowd filed out of the library.

Noelle was also out of breath when she joined her on the concrete. “Yeah… I’ve never seen Kris like that before...”

Susie snapped up. “Dude, man, let me tell you. I told them about my date plan, and they joked about being good enough to play with Catti. So, I, you know, joked and dared them to show up and play. I didn’t think they were actually gonna do it! I didn’t even know they could play guitar, or that they had that crazy outfit!”

“A whole persona and everything… makes you wonder what the hell is going on with them.”

Susie pulled out her phone. “Berdly is gonna FLIP when he sees the video I took. He’ll bust where he stands!”

Noelle giggled. “Ew, gross, Susie!”

She continued as Susie watched back through her footage. “You know, speaking of, how are we gonna get those two together?”

Susie looked up, a bit shocked. “Wait, you were serious about that?” She chuckled. “You can’t really see Kris and Berdly together, right? Kris is so cool and Berdly…"

She was searching for the perfect words. "Berdly sucks!”

Noelle scoffed, finding herself defensive of the bird. “Come on, Susie, you know that’s not true. He’s gotten a lot chiller recently!”

Susie sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. Just, kinda instinct to make fun of him.” She chuckled.

Noelle leaned into Susie. “Plus, he did something pretty cool recently. He got us together,” she cooed. 

Susie put a hand to the back of her head, scoffed, and generally avoided eye contact. But Noelle was staring; she could see the blush. “Dude, I got us together, not fuckin’.... Berdly…”

Maybe it was the moonlight, maybe it was the outfits, maybe it was seeing Kris schmoove across the stage, but Noelle felt a newfound confidence overtake her. Determination. “Oh yeah?~ And what can I do to thank you?”

Susie froze, roles completely reversed. She slowly turned her head back to look at the deer. Her voice was sheepish and quiet. “Uhm, I don’t know… buy me a ham sandw–”

Noelle found her hand reaching up to hold Susie’s head, and quite suddenly, the pair were kissing in the pale white glow of the night. There were still people filtering by, but Noelle didn’t care, and judging by the way Susie was holding her right cheek, she didn’t either. 

————————————————————

Noelle was finally walking down to path back to her house. It had been a herculean task, pulling away from Susie after they had parked behind the trees near the mansion. She had no idea what time it was or how long they had spent in the backseat of the Subaru, but the moon was high overhead. It had to be past midnight. As bad as that was, Noelle was having a hard time feeling apprehensive as she stepped through the doors. She kept putting a soft finger to her lips, as if trying to catch an echo of how she had just felt. 

And suddenly, it became quite easy to feel apprehensive. Carol, her mother, was still sitting in the dark living room, slowly scrolling on her phone with a glass of white wine. Noelle took a deep breath and started slowly walking to the stairs. Maybe her mother was just still working–

“Noelle.” Her mother clicked off her phone and put it on the table, taking a sip. Well, there goes that idea. “It’s 1:24 in the morning.”

The doe slowly turned towards her mother, desperately racking her brain for an excuse.

“Where have you been, dear? I thought we agreed upon nine, no later. I’ve been concerned.”

Noelle was still trying to think of anything that could possibly excuse this when her mother stood, walking over to her and putting her hand softly on her chin. With her thumb, she smudged off purple lipstick from Noelle’s face. “Well?”

Noelle was out of ideas. Well, all except one. “We were at a concert, to support Catti… Kris was there too, it ran way over…”

Carol gave a small chuckle. “You know, sweetie, I really didn't want Susie to be a bad influence on you. But, bad or not–” She looked at the state, the outfit her daughter was in. “-it looks to me like she’s having quite the influence on you.”

Noelle felt an awful blush rising. “Mom, please…”

Carol sighed, and turned to walk to the stairs. “We can talk in the morning, but we will have to talk about this situation. I don’t want anything, no matter how important it is to you, to interrupt your future, dear.”

Noelle frantically thought about what to say, until it finally hit her. “You and Dad met at a concert! You snuck out, I didn’t even do that, and now you’re the mayor!”

Carol stopped on the stairs. 

“How do you know it’s gonna ‘interrupt my future!’ I could still turn out just like you!”

The older deer didn’t turn, but she gave an even deeper sigh. “Your father… Your father is a much gentler man than Susie is, at least from what I can see…”

A long pause. “...but, maybe you’re right.” She turned back with a small smile, still on the stairs. “How about we sleep on it, ok?”

Noelle felt relief wash over her. “O-Okay, mom.” Maybe she still thought of Susie as a brute, but it was more progress than she’d made in a week. That would have to be good enough.

Carol turned back and continued up the stairs, finishing off her glass. “Goodnight, dear. I love you.”

“Love you too…” Noelle collapsed onto the couch, exhausted on so, so many levels.

Chapter Text

Noelle fell into her desk chair, slowly flicking on her vanity mirror as she dialed up Berdly. She had to tell someone about what had just happened, and lord knows she had no idea what to say to Kris. 

“Hmhnghfnjmg….” Berdly had picked up, but he didn’t sound exactly conscious. Noelle pulled out some makeup wipes and started to remove the layers of black and white.

“Berdly? You there, dude?”

“Ghwhat? Noelle?” There was a clear sound of covers shifting around. She giggled, imagining the bird with bedhead.

“I need someone to talk to! I just had the greatest date ever!”

“Mhngmbnfr…. What time is iiiittt??”

“Almost two, but you have to listen, Berdly! I’m gonna explode if I don’t talk to someone!”

“Erghnrrr….” It sounded almost like an affirmative groan. Well, good enough for Noelle.

She spoke up over the rustling of covers as she started to change into her PJs.

“Well, she took me out to this tunnel where we did graffiti, and then to this really cool Spanish-Arabic place, and then we drove into town to go to this underground book store concert place. Berdly, she bought me a whole outfit! It was so cute, we were matching and everything! Anyway, we both looked like emo weirdos, and she took me to this little underground rock concert, but dude. You’re not going to believe it.”

“Whurgh?” He sounded like he was just spinning around in his bed.

“Kris was there. They– they fricking shredded the guitar. It was insane.”

The noises from over the phone cut out, and there was a long pause.

“Berdly, you still there? I’m sending you the vid.”

She heard the notification ping from over the phone, and feathery hands fumbling with the phone.

“B-Berdly? Heelllloooo? Earth to Berdly?....”

No response, but she could still hear his quiet breathing. “What, was Susie right? Did you–”

“That can’t be Kris.”

“No, it was! I swear! It was awesome!”

“No, no, this is a prank. Some kind of Photoshop or something.”

Noelle giggled. “I knew that would get you out of bed.”

“It’s not– It’s not because of whatever you think it is, I just don’t believe you! Sorry, No-Well, but my intellect cannot be fooled.”

“All right, Burghley. I’m sure you’ll be doing some frame-by-frame analysis later, you don’t have to tell me twice.”

“I’m gonna hang up now.” His voice sounded choked; she imagined he was probably blushing.

“Nononono! I have other stuff to tell you! Please, I’ll stop teasing you about your cr–”

“I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH!”

“Jeez, ok, touchy subject, faha. Anyway, so I got home and my mom was waiting for me.”

“Oh, angel. I hope she didn’t treat you too badly.”

“That’s the thing! I think we made some good progress! She’s not totally sold, but I think I made my case pretty strongly.”

“Oh, nice!”

“How’s stuff going with your Dad?”

“Well, he seemed to let it go when I was ‘sick,’ so he might be thinking about it a bit more. Not really sure. I’m– I’m worried about finals.”

“Berdly, you’re gonna do fine! It was just one silly test, you got an A-.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right, haha…” He cleared his throat. “After all, my superior smarts cannot be just bested by one setback! I’ll get top of the class or die trying!”

Noelle chuckled. “Alright, Berdly. I’m beat. I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early. Beach day!” she squealed.

“Goodnight, Noelle.”

Noelle hung up and fell almost instantly into a deep sleep. Her dreams were filled with purple dragons, tied up tight by Christmas lights…

————————————————————

It was a gorgeous day outside on Park Point Beach. The sun was hot overhead, but the wind was enough to make it bearable. Enough wind, in fact, that there were some pretty nasty waves crashing against the sandbar. Susie was glad for an excuse not to get into the water. Instead, she was content to sit on the sand with her beautiful girlfriend(?) (Susie had yet to breach the topic, but the… events… of last night sure as hell felt exclusive). Noelle was reading some book for very smart people. The Bell Jar by some lady named “Silver Plaque.” Susie didn’t know what kind of parent would name their kid that, but Noelle had raved about the book on the car ride over. Susie had been glad for the company; it was about an hour drive, and Kris had been busy fiddling with Berdly’s life jacket the entire time. They had tried to pass it off as just trying to piss him off, but Susie knew the truth. 

Anyway, now Kris and Berdly were out on the water in their inflatable kayak. Susie didn’t know exactly what they were doing, but they seemed to be going out into the lake and then riding waves back onto the shore. Over and over, like a dog chasing its tail. Looked pretty rad, but Susie was doing something even radder. Noelle was on her stomach, reading and listening to the waves and the crying of the gulls. She had graciously allowed Susie to bury her, and Susie was currently sculpting everything below her shoulders into a beautiful dragon, like a mermaid but way less lame. 

Susie sat back and admired her work. Noelle might object to the juicy dragon booty, but that was a later problem. “How’s the book?”

Noelle put her finger between the pages to shield them from the wind and looked up with a smile. “Really, really good. I’m having a great time.”

“What’s it about?”

She thought for a moment about how to explain it. “It’s about a girl who’s… really smart, and everyone thinks she’s fine, but inside she’s unraveling. Like—she’s trapped in this invisible thing. That’s what the ‘bell jar’ is. It’s like a metaphor for how it feels when everything around you is normal, but you can’t breathe.”

“Sounds like… well, actually, sounds like a couple of people I know. Damn, never realized how similar you and Berdman are.” 

Noelle chuckled and went back to her book. “Don’t sound so disgusted, douche.”

Susie leaned down and gave Noelle a light peck on the top of her blonde hair. “Just kidding.”

Noelle put her book flat on the sand and rested her head on her hands. She looked up at the lizard. “You read anything good recently?”

Susie had been reading Twilight , but there was no way in HELL she was admitting that. “The librarian recommended me The Old Man and the Sea a while back. I liked it a lot.”

“I didn’t know you liked Hemingway!”

“It’s badass, man. Fighting a huge fish out in the middle of the ocean. Hell yeah.”

Noelle giggled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

Susie turned away, looking out over the waves. “Don’t– Don’t tell Kris or Berdly, or, uh, anyone else, but I can’t really swim. That’s another reason I like it. The ocean is pretty scary, like it’s… It’s vast and unknowable.”

Noelle thought on that for a bit, but Susie didn’t think she even considered judging or poking fun at her. “Yeah. I don’t really like the open ocean. I prefer Superior.”

“Kris and Berdly sure seem to love it.”

“You know… Kris is kinda like the ocean.”

Susie turned back. “What? I wouldn’t exactly call them scary.”

Noelle scoffed. “You’ve never found them under your bed, curled up like a spring and ready to spook you.”

“Oh man, did they really do that to you once?”

“Not once. Every day of 7th grade, always in a different place. I was terrified of the outside world.”

Susie gripped her stomach with laughter. “Fuckin’ classic, man. I would beat them up for that.”

“Anyway, that’s what I mean! Kris is fricking opaque to me. Berdly too, kinda. I can never tell what he really likes and dislikes under all that ego.”  

“Yeah, I guess.” Susie turned back towards the lake, picking out the frantic movements of the pair as they rode a wave. It didn’t look all that safe. Badass. “You might be right about them…”

————————————————————

The sun was in his eyes, the wind was in his feathers, and water was everywhere else. Berdly was, frankly, horrified. He had never been good with open water (some vague fear of falling in and dying to the cold shock), and this open water wasn’t exactly the calmest. At every moment, the rubbery hull was being jumped by a flurry of waves, making awful sloshing noises. He was gripping his paddle for dear life, cursing the squishy and breakable nature of the inflatable kayak. It felt like riding a hot tub into a tornado. 

Kris, on the other hand, looked perfectly at peace. They had on a full sailing outfit, deep green swim shorts, a green and yellow striped swim shirt, and a very puffy fishing vest/life jacket over it all, like someone who just wandered out of a nature catalogue. They were propped up on one knee, leaning into the breaking surf like a goddamn pirate captain. Every time the ‘boat’ went over a wave, they would laugh, like this was just some fun game and not life and death . 

Berdly hated how cool they looked. Well, not hated… Envied. Well, not envied… Admired. (Damnit.) It reminded him of the video. The performance. It had been replaying in his mind nonstop.  Everyone had played their part, but only one had left an imprint burned into his brain. Kris in the spotlight, half-dancing, half-dreaming. Berdly wondered how the hell they could go from shredding the guitar to shredding the waves in less than 12 hours. 

The pair had not spoken much for the first part of their adventure, focusing on getting the hang of the wave-riding. Now, Kris seemed extremely comfortable navigating the waves. At the front, they were the one steering, and they would occasionally bark out orders to Berdly about which side to paddle on and how hard. Their leadership had kept them both on course, always managing to peacefully bob over waves by taking them head-on. For his part, Berdly was at least coming to terms with his fate. He was going to drown, so he might as well regain a shred of dignity before he does. 

He had to shout over the pounding surf. “D-Did you know the Inuit invented the original kayak over 4,000 years ago? They were made of seal skin stretched over driftwood! Modern materials are all basically unnecessary! Inflatable kayaks have a higher center of gravity, which statistically increases your chance of capsizing by like… thirty-two percent. But I’m totally fine, obviously.”

He couldn’t hear Kris giggle, but he saw it by the way their shoulders bobbed. They shouted back, “Been a while since I’ve heard a Berdly Fun Fact™! I always feel smarter after.”

“I’ve found it helpful to guard my vast repository of knowledge! Helps keep the competition behind, hah.”

“Yeah, all right, Berdman. Have you ever been out on the open water before? I can feel you shaking from up here.”

“N-No, I’m not! And yes, once. My parents rented a boat to sail from their house in Rehoboth. But, they kind of suck at sailing, and I fell off, and then they never sailed again.”

Kris chuckled. “Hope I’m not traumatizing you too badly. I love going out here for so many reasons, but I can’t do it much anymore. My dad says he’s not at a ‘kayaking age,’ the lame-o. Glad to have a paddle pal again.”

Berdly had a very real question, “Why do you like this, anyway?”

“Well, there are a lot of reasons. It’s an adrenaline rush, you get to enjoy the beauty of the water, it’s great exercise, and uh… oh yeah. The life jackets mean I don’t have to bind, which is pretty nice. Would make all this a whole lot harder.” They took a beat and threw a look behind their shoulder. “That’s not TMI, right? Sorry, haha.”

“Uhm, no, it’s chill. Never would have thought about that, haha.” He cleared his throat. “You might not see it, but the same skills that will one day propel me to Wall Street are telling me that this might be a bit risky. Dangerous, even.”

Kris scoffed. “ Dangerous? Berdly, I’ve been doing this for years. You’re in safe hands. Plus, this is a lot safer than smoking on a bridge! C’mon, don’t you trust me?”

God damnit. Kris always asked him this, and he always did. Stupid human. “Alright, if you say so.” He did not like the way fear was creeping into his voice, so he changed subjects. “Hey, what was the deal with you about last night? Was that really you in that video?”

“You know many other humans around here, Berdly?”

There weren’t any others in the state. “Yeah, it’s just, I didn’t know you knew how to play the guitar.”

“Oh, I don’t know how to play the guitar. I was just doing it as a favor to Susie.”

“Wait, but you were like, a professional during that Moldallica song!”

“ Moldallica ? Never really liked them much.”

Berdly was speechless, although he should be used to this by now. Kris very often made zero sense. “You’re messing with me, asshole. Whatever. Where’d you get that awesome outfit, anyway?”

Kris looked back with a smile. “You liked it? I thought it was a bit too much– oh shit, get ready–” There was a large wave coming up behind them, and Kris was looking hungrily at it.  “I was worried about showing up the other band members, you know?”

Berdly looked back and gulped. The wave was fucking massive. Now or never, Berdenard. “I-I liked it–” He had never called anyone this before. “On you, it looked really h-”

“PADDLE, PADDLE NOW!” Kris shouted back with a grin as the wave bore down on the kayak. They began to furiously stroke through the water, and Berdly joined them…

…but it was all in vain. The wave was easily as tall as the two of them, and they were able to ride on top of it for a perfect, glorious half-second… Until the boat crumpled in half like a folded tortilla. Kris let out a brief “OH SHIT!” before the water sucked in the bow and rapidly consumed the rest of the boat, sending the pair tumbling into the cold water. 

————————————————————

Berdly could barely see through the matted feathers covering his face. The colossal wave had carried them all the way to the sandbar, painfully throwing the boy down on his forehead. Crawling on hands and knees, he blindly fled the water until he could no longer feel the waves on his legs. He collapsed on the warm sand, thanking the sea gods that he was still somehow alive. He had never felt so afraid, so out of control, as he did tumbling through the surf of the gargantuan wave. 

A thought crossed his mind as he panted on the ground: ‘ Kris! ’ He rapidly pushed his soaked feathers out of his eyes, clearing his vision just in time for Kris to wash up a short way away from him. They were soaked too, bangs hanging low with freshwater. They pounded their chest a few times, spitting out water and what looked like a small fish, and collapsed onto the sandbar. The inflatable Kayak washed up a few feet behind them, upside down. 

Berdly wanted to go over and check on them, but he felt too nauseous and shaken up to stand. All he could do was lie on the sand and wait for the sun to dry him out…

“Berdly!” His eyes snapped open to Kris running over to him. “ BERDLY! Are you ok? Oh, man, Berd, I’m so sorry!” They slid on their knees towards him,  holding him by his chin and examining his face. “I was so stupid to try and ride that! Oh, man, please be ok…”

He put a weak, sopping wing and gave his best smile. Kris breathed a huge, shuddering sigh of relief. They wiped their eyes and sniffed before continuing. “You scared me, asshole! I thought you had passed out or something!”

Berdly pushed himself off the sand with shaking arms. “It’ll– It’ll take more than a little splash to keep me down!”

Kris bent down and offered a hand with a chuckle. “That’s right. Up and at 'em, soldier!” 

He stood, putting all his weight on them.  Kris gave his forehead a concerned look. “Oh shit, dude, you’re bleeding! Oh my Angel, shit!”

Berdly put up a wing. “It’s ok, Kris! I’m fine!”

Kris paused, looking between the head wound and the eyes attached to it. They gave a nervous chuckle. “No, dude, you’re not. Let's get you dried off and look at that head.”

He tried his best to smile, but his beak was shaking. “Nonsense, Kris! My valiance can never be bested! Let’s get back out there!”

“Seriously, Berdly, you don’t have to– You don’t have to pretend you’re not scared.” The words froze him. “You can tell me you don’t want to do something, haha. I’m not your dad.” They put a hand on his shoulder. Despite the cold water, it felt as warm as a December fireplace. He tried, Angel, he really tried to muster a response. But he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even break eye contact; he was just staring deeply at them. He felt like he was trying to analyze them, trying to find the joke, or the sarcasm, or the secret threat. All he could see was a caring gaze.

Kris finally spoke up. “Come on, Berdbrain. Let’s get you taken care of.” They put his wing on the back of their life vest and helped him shakily walk over to Susie and Noelle. 

————————————————————

The fire was so, so warm compared to the lake. It was twilight, and Susie had made a little campsite to enjoy before they all drove back to Hometown. It was welcome, as the sun was gone but the wind had only risen. Berdly was still cold, clutching the towel Kris had given him in one hand around his body, and holding the bandage to his forehead with the other. Noelle and Susie were curled up, both holding s’mores over the fire. Kris was even closer than he, holding their marshmallow on a random stick from the beach (‘to really get that smoky flavor.’). They were staring at the fire intently, every now and then looking over their shoulder to give Berdly a concerned glance. 

Noelle and Susie were still whispering sweet nothings to each other, so Kris assembled their s'more and walked back over to the bluebird. “None for you?” they asked.

There had been plenty of supplies for him, but he had never been a s’more guy. Clashed with his diet. “Nah, I’m ok.”

They took a gooey bite and sat next to him. “How ya feeling?”

“Better.” His head didn’t hurt anymore, and he wasn’t that cold… But his stomach was rumbling loudly enough to embarrass him. He kept his beak tight. He didn’t want to seem desperate or high-maintenance.

As if they read his mind, they asked, “Have you eaten anything? Can’t remember if Susie brought hot dogs and stuff or not.”

“No, I haven’t, but I’m ok.”

“Ah, come on. Intrepid adventures deserve grub to match. After that fuckin capsize, I think you deserve a King’s feast.”

“It’s ok, Kris. I can wait and cook when I get home.”

They stood, walking to their pack. “Hold on,” they said, rummaging through. 

They pulled out a big bag of Kestrel brand birdseed– Berdly wondered if they really could read minds. They tossed it to him unceremoniously. “Don’t say I never did anything for you, now.”

Berdly couldn’t help himself; he ripped it open and dug in. “Damn, why’d you have this?”

“I definitely don’t eat birdseed when I’m alone. It’s a scandalous rumor. I just had that in my pack for a non-specific reason.”

“Yeah, ok.” He laughed, but the flavor was new. Something he had never tried. He tried to hold it up to the fire and see what it was, but it was too blurry. Well, that’s ok, he has his– “Oh, hell.”

“What’s up?

“I think I lost my glasses in the capsizing.” He suppressed the strong urge to make a ‘flying blind’ pun.

They looked out over the dark, empty water. “Damn. A worthy sacrifice to the sea gods. You will soon be blessed with bountiful seafood, Berdenard.”

He laughed. “Ew, don’t call me that!” It sucked to lose his glasses, but he always kept around about 15 extra pairs. He’d live, besides, he was having a lot of fun talking around the fire with Kris. 

————————————————————

“Where the hell did they go, Berd?” Susie was barking back at him. The three had been waiting in the car, all packed and ready to go, for 15 minutes. Kris had promised they would be right back and had disappeared into the night.

“You think they got kidnapped or s-something?” Noelle sounded like she was excited, curious, and scared by the thought at the same time.

“I– I don’t know! You know Kris, they don’t tell anyone anything!”

“Damn, man, what do we do? We can’t just–”

“I’M HERE!” shouted a voice from the dark. Kris appeared, soaking wet and holding something in their pocket. They pulled open the door, panting and exhausted.

Susie was upset, to say the least. “Dude, what the hell? We thought you got kidnapped!”

They crumpled into the seat, breathing heavy. “Saw… a cool… rock… I had to fight… a shark for it…” They pulled out a shiny piece of sandstone, the kind caused by lightning strikes. Berdly thought it was a pretty cool rock. 

“Shark fighting’ my left ass. Whatever, weirdo, let’s just get out of here.” She pushed one of her Aretha Franklin cassettes into the player and pulled it out. The Subaru was dark and mostly silent on the hour-long ride. Noelle passed out almost immediately. Kris was so extremely still that Berdly was certain they were sleeping.

Just as Berdly was drifting off to the sounds of Day Dreaming , he felt a poke in his left shoulder. Kris was staring intently at him, holding, miraculously, his glasses.

“Wha– Where did you find this?”

“Sandbar,” they answered, like it was normal to dive for their friend’s glasses in the pitch black.

“Uh, th–”

“ Don’t thank me. Don’t mention it, either. Or I’m gonna, uh, break them.” They looked pretty serious, so Berdly decided to just nod and look forward.

He turned the glasses over in his hands, feeling the faint grit of sand still stuck in the hinges. They weren’t even scratched. How the hell had Kris found them in the dark? He looked out the window. The trees blurred past like a flipbook, nothing but silhouettes, moonlight, and headlight-spotlights. Noelle snored quietly in the front. Susie hummed along to the tape, off-pitch and off-rhythm, somehow. He was having a hard time controlling his breathing because Kris had nodded off, and their head had fallen onto his shoulder. It was so, so warm. He could feel their slow breathing against his arm, just like that morning in bed. Berdly clutched the glasses in his lap. He was still cold, his head still ached, and he knew tomorrow he’d wake up sore in places he didn’t even know he had muscles. But for some reason, he felt pretty good. 

Sure, he’d been utterly humiliated today. Terrified of a few waves, too weak to pick himself up, too scared to go back for his glasses. But Kris? They hadn’t seemed to care about any of that. He wondered exactly what that meant. 

Chapter Text

About a week later, Kris was just getting home. It had been a pretty good day at school. Just a little bit of finals review with Alphys, on math stuff that Kris was never all that good at. Not like it mattered, they were only conscious for about half the lesson. They had gotten in the habit of doing reviews with their friends after school, sometimes with Noelle or Susie, but always with the Berd. He was a lot more engaging as a teacher than Ms. Alphys. 

It had been a pretty easy, short day. Boring school, easy review, and Kris was ready to go up to their room and chill for the rest of the day. Mortal 2 was calling their name: cake and robots, and no stress required. 

However, as they reached the door, they heard the sound of their mother speaking on the phone. Sounded like a conversation on speakerphone. Resisting the polite urge to make their presence known, Kris pressed their ear to the door. If it wasn’t important, they’d just go inside, but if it was… they needed to know. 

“-came home with a gash on his forehead a while ago, and he seems to be sticking firmly to a lie. I know he’s been spending a lot of time with Kris lately, so I was wondering if you knew anything about it.”

It was the familiar, haughty voice of Mr. Lombardi. Kris had been happy not to hear it for a while, and they felt their stomach sink. 

“Well, I’m not exactly sure, but I’m so sorry to hear about that! I hope he’s feeling alright!”

“Yes, yes, he’s fine. Do you know how it happened or not?” He sounded a bit frustrated.

“I think the four of them went on a little group adventure a while ago. Out to some beach on Superior. Kris made it sound like it was a lot of fun, but I didn’t hear any mention of an injury.”

“Did they mention what Berdly was doing?”

“I think they mentioned offhand that they were on an inflatable kayak with him… It’s a little fuzzy, sorry, haha.”

“As I suspected. I believe the kayak is a cover-up for something a bit more dangerous. The Berdly I know is not nearly stupid enough to wave-surf in a flimy, silly inflatable kayak. He insists he just tripped and fell onto the concrete, but I don’t believe him. It’s a miracle he didn’t lose his glasses as well.”

“Well, I should hope that Kris wasn’t involved! I don’t think they would intentionally hurt Berdly. They seem to have some fondness for–”

“Ms. Dreemurr, I’m sure that Kris would never mean to hurt Berdly, but the facts remain. I’m growing rather concerned about their interactions.”

Kris felt a chill run down their spine, even in the early summer heat. 

“Oh? What do you mean, Ster?”

“Sterling, please. And, to be blunt, Ms. Dreemurr, I believe that Kris and Berdly may be negative influences on each other. I’m sure you would have examples of your own, but I have noticed some concerning developments. His sleep schedule has become wildly chaotic recently, his grades have been slowly slipping, and, of course, he came back injured from an ‘adventure’ with your child. Now, I have nothing against Kris, but I am worried about Berdly’s future.”

“Hm. Well, Sterling , I hate to say it, but I fear you may be right. My son raised some similar concerns about them falling in with the ‘ wrong crowd. ’ I’ve noticed some… erratic behavior from them as well. Things like sneaking out at night, or staying over with Berdly without texting beforehand–”

“ What?! ” Kris cringed. They didn’t need their ear pressed to the door to hear how upset he was. “When did that happen!?”

“Oh, maybe a couple of weeks ago! I’m sorry, I thought you had invited them to stay. It seemed harmless enough, though–”

“Harmless enough? Harmless enough??! ”

There was a brief pause as Mr. Lombardi stilled his breathing. 

“Ms. Dreemurr, I believe it is in both of our children’s interests if they stop seeing each other for a while. At least until final exams are over. I’m very worried about Berdly. I don’t think the lifestyle he’s learning– he’s living is very healthy.”

There was a long pause as Toriel contemplated. Kris said a silent, hurried prayer. Please, please, Angel, let their mother see reason. 

“...Perhaps… Perhaps you're right, Sterling. I’ll talk to Kris, but… only until finals are over. I hate to intervene too much in Kris’s life, but I would hate more to derail Berdly from his, um, bright future.”

Kris froze for a moment, the conversation drowning out as the words sank in. They were breathless as their mind flashed through a highlight reel of every time they had wanted Berdly to step outside his comfort zone. Staying up late to plot about Susie and Noelle, drinking, smoking, the kayak, it had all seemed so fun in the moment. Angel, had they been hurting him? Was every risk they shared just a step away from ruining him?

Unable to continue that train of thought, Kris threw open the door and marched to the stairs. They barely noticed their mother in the living room, holding a pair of knitting needles in one hand and a wine glass in the other.

“Oh! My child, oh, I’m sorry. How was–”

Kris was already stomping up the stairs. They heard Toriel’s voice fading as they threw themselves on their bed and buried their face in the soft, feathery pillows.

“Hm? Oh, sorry, that was just Kris getting home. Acting a bit strange… as always, haha….”

————————————————————

Susie was having a less existential evening, even if still stressful. The dinner was going well, and her mother was making a great impression on Mrs. Holiday. 

“...and, um, I suppose that’s how I ended up as head foreman.” Susie snapped back to attention. She had heard the story a thousand times, but Noelle and Carol were both entranced, however. They made the same face when interested, with the big eyes and twitchy nose (although Noelle looked a lot cuter). 

“Well, no doubt it’s an impressive resume, Ms. Knox. I’ve not known someone who clawed their way to power like you have.” Carol took another sip of her somewhat glittery white wine. It looked kinda like the juice in the snowglobes that adorned the house. Susie didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if she was genuinely relaxing, but she had become much less icy as the dinner went on.

Susie’s mother looked a bit bashful. Susie guessed that she wasn’t all that used to fancy dinners. “Please, call me Sharon. And I wouldn’t say I clawed my way to power . You make me sound like some important politician, haha…”

Carol chuckled. “I wish I had your story, Sharon.” She lowered her voice, musing to herself. “ I’d bet it’d go over well with urban voters… ”

Noelle finally spoke up. “Mom, did I tell you that Susie’s getting a job driving for ICE-E’s?”

A short look of disgust passed over Carol’s face. “Good lord, ICE-E’s?” There was a pause, and she cleared her throat. “Excuse me, what I meant was that’s great. Even if it may not be the most glamorous position, it’s nice to see a young person getting some experience in this town. Not many others, I would imagine.”

Susie laughed nervously. “Yeah, I guess I don’t know many other kids my age with jobs. I need the work, anyway. Your daughter’s got expensive tastes!”

The joke got laughs from the table, thank the Angel. Susie wished Mr. Holiday could have been here to hear it (he loves those kinds of jokes whenever she visits him with Noelle), but the dinner was still a resounding success so far. 

————————————————————

It was dark now, the blue and white glow of Noelle’s room bouncing out into the back-of-house garden. Noelle flopped onto her bed, giving a long a relieved sigh.

“Ohmygosh, that was like taking a test! I was so stressed the whole time…”

Susie closed the door behind her softly, moving over to sit on the bed. “Yeah, no kidding.  I think it went pretty well, though.” She smiled at the deer. 

Noelle sat up with a devilish smile. She put on a deep voice and said, “ Now, I finally have you alone… ”

Susie chuckled and leaped onto the bed, fitting her body together with Noelle’s like puzzle pieces and planting a forceful kiss on her cheek. It was a well-practiced routine by now. “My mom loves you, y’know. Last night, she made these dumbass jokes about when we were gonna move in together.”

Noelle gave an exaggerated eye roll. “Gosh, can’t believe your mother is playing into those old stereotypes…” She giggled as the pair continued to cuddle, freed of parental intrusions.

A couple of minutes in, Susie felt her phone stabbing her in her tailbone and pulled it out to set it on the nightstand. She stopped, however, when she caught a few concerning notifications on the homescreen. “Ah, sumnabitch…”

Noelle froze and looked up at her. “What, what’s wrong?”

Susie had 3 missed calls from Kris, over about 15 minutes. “Must’ve happened when I had my phone turned off during dinner, damn.”

“Is that… Kris calling?  What did they want?”

“Dunno…” A thousand possibilities flashed across Susie’s mind. Maybe it was some drama with their mother and Sans, maybe they had gotten hurt, or maybe they just wanted to make a “Is your refrigerator running?” joke. No matter what, the fact that they stopped calling and chose not to pester Susie was a bit concerning. Susie tried calling them back. No answer.

“Oh…. You should probably, um, go check on them.” Noelle was trying to hide it, but she sounded a bit sad.

Susie was faced with, unfortunately, an easy choice. Stay in the arms of her girlfriend, or go deal with whatever fresh hell Kris was in the midst of. The problem was, it was easy in the opposite way Susie wanted.

Unable to stop herself, she reluctantly pulled away from the bed. “Sorry, baby. I at least gotta go check. If they’re fine, or sleeping or something, or just pranking me, I’ll come straight back, I swear.”

“Nonono, it’s ok! Go check on them, it’s the right thing to do, don’t worry about me.” Noelle was concerned for Kris, but it was clear she would selfishly like for Susie not to have noticed the notifications. 

With a sigh, Susie planted a kiss on her forehead and walked away from the bed. Oh well, she had all summer to cuddle. One night helping her friend was worth it. 

————————————————————

Susie had almost given up throwing pebbles at Kris’s window and gone back to Noelle’s when a thought crossed her mind: the creek. And sure enough, here Kris was. They were crouched by the stream, in a small patch of pale moonlight. They were crouched down, knees to their chest, holding a crumpled piece of paper. They looked smaller and thinner than Susie had ever seen them.

“Kris? Dude, you ok?” Kris jumped, whipping their head over their shoulder at Susie. She caught a small glimpse of their red eyes before they turned back to the stream, stuffing the paper in their pocket. “Sorry, I, uh, missed your call. Was busy with this dinner with my mom and Noelle's mom.”

Kris sounded like they had a frog in their throat when they finally spoke. “Oh, I’m sorry to have interrupted. You didn’t… You didn’t have to come.”

Susie sighed with a smile and sat on the rocks next to Kris. “Sure is an interesting stream, huh?”

“I saw a bigass brook trout.”

There was a nice, long silence as Susie thought about how to approach this. She wasn’t exactly known for her emotional tact, but this was clearly a situation that required surgical precision.

“So, what’d you need?”

“...um, I’m not sure… Just kind of wanted to talk to someone… figured I could trust you…”

Susie chuckled. “Would’ve assumed you’d call Berdly.”

No response. Well, at least she knew what the problem was. 

“Did… Did something happen with him? You can tell me, I won’t– I’m not gonna care if you did anything.” 

Another long silence, but Kris slowly pulled the piece of paper out of their pocket. It took Susie a minute to see what it was in the low moonlight. “Nothing with him directly, I guess. I overheard a conversation between my mom and his dad.” 

Susie had a hard time processing the paper as Kris went on a long ramble about the conversation. It was… a drawing of Berdly. Like, a realistic one, not the doodles that Kris sometimes did of each of their friends. It looked like it had been done of him sitting on these very rocks. He looked bashful, like he had tried to do his typical ego bit and stopped, being genuine and awkward. It was clear they had drawn him… well, she hated to think it, but lovingly . Every detail was precise, he had a cute expression, and every crease of his shirt and shorts was in the drawing. They had put a lot of effort into it; the past drafts of sketches were evident underneath. 

Susie finally snapped back to reality. “...and, he was talking about how strange Berdly’s been acting, and how he’s losing sleep and falling behind–”

“Dude, did you draw that? Of Berdly?” 

When she got no response, she looked up and said, “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, just… a little shocked, is all.” Angel, they were blushing .

“...we met here to scheme about getting you and Noelle together… it just kind of struck me, I guess.” Gone was the confident and opaque Kris. Susie felt as if she was staring into something deep and vast and clear, like the ocean. 

“Also, did you say they were talking about you hurting Berdman? That’s crazy, man. I’ve never seen him so open, or happy.”

Kris gingerly folded up the paper before scrunching up even further. They stared at the stream, bangs hanging low. In a small voice, they started. “Is it so crazy?”

Susie let them continue.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day. What if I really am hurting him? He’s been sleeping a lot less; I’ve never seen him with bags under his eyes until I started seriously hanging with him. His grades have also been slipping. Not much, but he’s now closer to an A student than an A+ student. He’s so smart, Susie, when you really see him. Not just like he needs to be smart to please people, like he’s clever. He can always restate stuff and help me learn it, even when Alphys can't. And I’m just thinking, he’s got a bright future. And I’m messing it up! His dad’s a bigoted prick, but... even he sees Berdly has a future. What if all the connections we’ve had, as fun as they may have been, are just holding him down? I’m not nearly as smart as him, I’m not headed where he is. But I keep pulling him down to where I’m stuck. Drinking, smoking, doing stupid stuff, involving him in stupid drama, that’s all I’ve done to him!

I’ve never treated him right, Susie. Not one day. Before I started to get to know him, I used to make fun of him. All the time! I would shittalk him to you, to Asriel, to my parents, about how silly and stupid and awkward he was and how out of touch and egotistical he acted. But now I see him, and I’m still hurting him! I can see the real him, underneath all the bullshit bravado he puts up to protect himself from bullies like me! He’s sweet, charming, and funny! I love that sheepish look he gets when he talks normally instead of performing. I love how he has all these hidden passions that you uncover like treasure. He tangoes, Susie! He collects Gundams, and writes poetry, and hides it from the world because people like me used to make fun of him for it! I love how he trusts me, how he goes outside his comfort zone and grows just because I ask him, but what if this whole time I’ve just been screwing him up? What if this is no better than making fun of him?”

Susie feels wayyyy out of her league. She makes a nervous, choked chuckling noise. “Jeez, Kris. Sounds– Sounds like you’ve been dreaming about the guy.” 

To Susie’s horror, Kris looked away and didn’t respond. “Dude, have you been dreaming about him?”

“I–” Kris cut off, unable to speak further. 

Angel, it was much worse than Susie feared. 

She had a few choices. 

1. Tell the truth: Kris obviously has a colossal crush on the guy. And from what Susie’s seen, he probably has one too. Kris and he getting closer has clearly been good for Berdly, with him opening up and trying new things. Even if he loses half a point in his GPA, so what?  What’s more important, his being happy with himself or his getting into some kinda mythical, unattainable college? That’s no way to live your life, prioritizing your career and your education over everything else. What Kris should do is keep going, keep showing him that (eurugh) love, and keep helping him spread his wings.

But, then again, Kris seemed to already be teetering on the edge of a real, serious emotional breakdown. Susie couldn’t handle anything more than this. She decided she couldn’t do that, that Kris had to figure out their feelings themselves. 

2. Lie. Shit, maybe that’s what Kris needed to resolve this particular problem. Getting them to close off would probably “help” Berdly in the way his father wanted to help him, so that would be a plus, maybe… And, maybe Kris wouldn’t hurt so much if they weren’t thinking about how much they loved this guy. Selfishly, Susie was pretty sure Kris would go back to spending all their time with Susie if she lied.

But no, of course, she couldn’t do that. That would be horrible, to purposefully kill off a blooming relationship. Like cutting off the bulb of a tulip in spring. 

3. Just fucking leave. Noelle was waiting with bated breath and open arms, ready to help Susie forget all this stupid emotional mess. God, why her? Why was she the most qualified, she who had never been taught mushy stuff by her mother? Susie had never talked about her feelings until a few weeks ago. Why was everyone suddenly spouting monologues like grass?

But now, she couldn’t do that either. Obviously. 

Eventually, after the emotional confession had hung in the air for a few minutes, Susie finally spoke.

“You got a lot of stuff to figure out, man.”

Kris took a moment to respond, running their hand through the cool water. “.... Yeah.”

The pair stared at the stream for a while, taking in the calm night air. It was peaceful here, almost relaxing compared to the whirlwind of their lives.

Eventually, Susie heard soft, muffled sobs coming from Kris. They had their hand clamped over their mouth, and their shoulders were heaving as tears slowly streamed down their face.

“Ah, shit… come here, man.” Susie put her hand on their shoulder, moving to pull them into a hug, when-

Kris shot up. Susie fell softly back, shocked. Kris began to speedwalk away, not bothering to turn back as they spoke. They still had their hand over their mouth, so Susie had no idea what they had tried to say. 

But one word was clear. “Church.” They were speeding in that direction, but Susie had no idea why. Well, it was clear that her chasing wasn’t going to do much good. And, besides, she had no clue why Kris would be going to the church. 

She pulled out her phone. Susie might not be smart enough to figure Kris out, but she had a pretty good idea of who might be. 

Chapter Text

Berdly was having a strange day, much more surreal than Susie's or Kris’s. 

School and reviewing with Kris had been normal, yes, but as soon as he left, he was finding it hard to stay awake. The room was too warm, and the overhead lights hummed like gnats in his ears. Berdly blinked slowly, trying to follow the instructor’s steps, but his feet felt like they were filled with wet sand. He’d stayed up again last night, but he couldn’t even remember what for. Snapping together the new Gundam? Writing that dumb haiku about clocks and spiders? Didn’t matter now. His whole head felt glazed. 

One of the old ladies spun too fast near him, and their shoulder clipped his arm. He swayed, not from the light bump, but from the vertigo slowly creeping up his spine. It seemed as if the whole room was tilting. 

He reached out to the edge of a metal folding chair to steady himself. The cold metal grounded him for a moment, but his eyes wouldn’t quite focus. The wood of the floor shimmered like water. The instructor’s voice echoed oddly, slowing and stretching like a cassette tape.

He slumped into one of the grey chairs, the hum of the overhead lights fading like a lullaby. He barely noticed the seat beneath him before the world began to fade.

Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a second.

Just one…

In the center of his vision was a massive, 30-foot-tall birdcage. It was made of shining and polished gold, decorated with ornate swirls and small birdwings extending out into the blackness. He had a 3rd person view of the great cage, observing from a safe distance.

In a haze, two figures manifested in the center of the cage’s floor. One was a glowing red silhouette, light spilling out of its edges and giving it a fuzzy form. The red figure was holding an ivory mannequin, like the wooden figures artists use to practice poses, made out of marble. The pair were in a waltzing position, with Red’s left hand holding on to White’s hip and back, and White’s left hand loosely holding Red’s shoulder. They were holding their right hands out, ready to lead into a box step, but it looked as if the loose red outline had to physically hold up the white mannequin. 

Eventually, Berdly heard the tapping of some far-off baton on a conductor’s stand. Red stood up straighter, preparing themselves. Music began to play. It echoed through the space, reverberating and weak, but Berdly still recognized it by heart. Brahm’s waltz, Op. 39: No. 15 in A Major. A classic, something that Berdly always listened to to calm himself down. Here, it was muted, like the orchestra was slowly withering away. As the intro played, the red figure hurriedly jerked the limp marble statue, as if trying to get it to come alive, but to no avail. As the music began in earnest, the two started a woozy, unbalanced box step that seemed to grow in a slow spiral away from the center of the stage. 

The piece repeated several times, each growing weaker than the last, and each time the pair would continue dancing. Despite the exterior, he could see a smile on the red figure’s face. It was nearly sweet and peaceful with the music softly surrounding them. The red silhouette held the mannequin closer each time, as if finding solace in the cold, empty birdcage. Berdly felt that he should recognize who the red figure was, but he was struggling. 

On the third repeat, another sound began to come closer. The chanting of a crowd. Rhythmic, unified, and wholly unintelligible, it was impossible to understand what they were trying to shout. The only clear thing was its growing volume and tempo. It first caught up to the orchestra and then overpowered it, forcing the dance to waltz to a much different tune. It was a cacophony of noise now. The shouting drowned out the orchestra completely. The pair were spinning on the floor of the cage faster and faster, their spiral nearing the bars and the endless void beyond them. The opaque red soul clutched the mannequin close to its chest, even as the legs flailed helplessly. 

Berdly felt he had to do something, even though the chaotic noise was familiar and frightening. He tried to shout out, to warn the dancer of how close they were getting to the edge, but his voice was silent among the chanting, only rattling the bars of the cage. Eventually, the pace was too fast, and the red dancer could no longer keep up. They spun around and around in a wild path, and eventually, tumbled over the edge of the golden cage in a blind panic. The chanting only frenzied, spurred on by their victory over the pair, until–

“BERDLY! Are you ok, man?” Mr. Arkwyth, the young dance instructor from the next town over and personal friend of his fathers, was standing over him. He looked quite concerned. He looked worried. “You were out cold. I couldn’t wake you up—are you okay?”

Berdly was panting and sweating horribly, his glasses were fogged and crooked, and he could feel every wrinkle of his shirt. It was time to leave the class, that was clear. He said a hurried goodbye and walked as fast as he could into the fresh air. 

————————————————————

It was just about dinnertime now, and the dream had faded from Berdly’s mind. Cooking always mellowed him out, one of the veritable arsenal of coping methods he had acquired over the years. 

Tonight’s dish was Salmon en croûte, a French dish that Berdly had seen online long ago. He had made it several times since then; it was a nice and delicious dish that his family always loved. He was assembling the dish before it went into the oven, layering the puff pastry, filling, and salmon. 

“Y’know, simple might be best. Just a creamy mushroom risotto and some great bread would be impressive if you plated it well. No need for anything Michelin-star or abstract, I think. Just a family dinner with two families.” He had his cell phone in the crook of his shoulder, talking with his friend. 

“ You don’t get it, Berdly. I need her to like me, and I can’t screw up this dish! Don’t you have anything simpler?”

“Risotto is far below your skill level, Noelle. You’ve baked enough cookies and cakes and things to know your way around the kitchen. You’ll be fine!” Breathe (In Your Hair) was softly playing in the background, coming all the way from the vinyl player in his room. The record was a loan from Kris, who highly recommended Dark Side of the Broom . He found the song so peaceful and had left his fish to go and reset the needle back to it several times. 

“ What if she doesn’t like it? What if she’s like, allergic to shrooms? ”

Berdly chuckled, slipping the dish into the oven after encasing it in another layer of puff pastry. “Heavens, Noelle. You’re sounding distinctly like me. Out of all the aspects of my award-winning personality, my anxiety is not the one to imitate. And I’ll have you know that mushrooms are the backbone of empires! A delicious, easily cookable staple food! What’s the dinner matter, anyway? Susie loves you, her mom loves you, your mom is gonna be blown away.”

“ I just– I can’t leave anything to chance, Berdly." 

“You aren’t, Noelle, don’t be silly. You’ve already got Susie wrapped on your furry little finger. Even if your mom and her mom start bitch slapping eachother across the table, you guys will just run away and elope, like in that movie… What’s the one that Kris likes so much?”

“ The Graduate? ”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Still never seen it. Maybe that’s what I’ll do tonight…”

“ Berdly, if things happened like in The Graduate, I’d have to sleep with her mother first. Like, for a long time. ”

“Angel, is that what that movie’s about? Never knew Kris was that, um–” He paused as he set the timer for the bake, realizing what he was about to say. “...um, that kind of… freaky….” The thought had come out of his beak before he could process it. 

He heard a loud giggle. “ GROSS! Berdly, if you want to think– ”

He shot up. “DON’T SAY IT!”

Noelle was fighting through her laughter. “ If– If you wanna think about getting freaky with Kris, do it alone, Jeez! ”

Berdly took a deep sigh, crouching back down to finish preparing the oven. “Alright, that does it. I’ll talk to you at school, Noelle, my salmon is calling my name.”

“ Waitwaitwait! Are we still on for final reviews? ”

Crud. He had been trying not to think about finals. They were looming particularly large this year, now that he was forming, well, genuine friendships. Moving away had always been thrown around as a threat in his house, but this time it felt a little more real. “Yes, definitely. Thanks for reminding me, I’ve been trying not to… think about it, haha…”

“ It’ll be ok, Berdly. You got this. Alright, I gotta get back to prep. Tee-Tee-Why-Ell!!”

He put the phone down with a sigh, watching his artistic dinner puff up slowly in the oven. Even from inside the cool kitchen, he thought he could feel the heat rising all around him. 

————————————————————

Berdly precisely split the cooked fish down the middle, plating it on two dinner plates with some roasted broccoli and asparagus. He poured two glasses of water and, carefully balancing them all on his wings, walked into the living room. 

“Ta-dah! Salmon en croûte with assorted roasted vegetables!” He set the plates down, one in front of his place, and one next to his father’s laptop. He was hunched over it, going through some dumb spreadsheet or email or other kinds of things he was always doing at the table. Somehow, his father always had more work. It was a talent of his. “I think it came out better than ever this time! The puff pastry was cooked to perfection, if I do say so myself.”

“That’s good, son.” His father took a sip of his coffee(? It was 5 PM?) and failed to look up from his screen. 

Berdly took a seat in his chair and began to dig into his meal. This was all business as usual. He grabbed his book, Starship Troopers , and continued from where he left off last time. He found the Federation fascinating, its governmental structure uniquely horrifying and page–

“Oh, son. Something I had wanted to discuss with you.” The older bird looked up, slightly closing his computer. This was not business as usual.

“Whag?” Berdly’s mouth was full of bread and fish, and he was hunched rather unceremoniously over his book. 

“Listen, son. This might be a bit hard to hear, but… Well, your headmaster gave me a call this afternoon, just before you came back from dance.”

Berdly swallowed his lovingly prepared meal. He felt a knot constricting in his stomach. 

“She told me that she was worried about Kris, about you, too. It took a little convincing for me to see her view, but I think she’s right.”

“R-Right about… what?”

“Son, I know you’ve grown rather fond of Kris over the last few weeks, but… we think it would be best if you two don’t see eachother much while you’re preparing for the finals. In fact, not at all. I’m concerned about them… influencing you, and perhaps distracting you from what’s important.”

Berdly had to think very hard to keep his breathing still. 

“It will only be for a while, but Ms. Toriel only wants what's best. It will be better for everyone if you put your friendship on hold until after you’ve finished the year.”

Berdly felt his voice rising as he clenched his utensils. Right as he was about to do something dramatic, like slam his fists on the table and shout, his father continued. 

“After all... we wouldn’t want to have to move you away. Surely you can see the benefit. You’re a smart boy, right?”

His grip relaxed. Oh, what was the point? His father held all the cards; that much was clear.  Berdly had heard this lecture a million times before, and this time he didn’t have Kris to speak up for him. Angel, how he wished they were here. 

“Ok, Dad.”

His father continued to justify his decision as Berdly closed his eyes, trying to feel himself clutched in Kris’s arms. That was the most relaxing thing to him; symphonies and Gunpla and cooking weren’t doing it right now. Desperately, he hoped against hope that he would figure out a way to see them without it getting back to his father, or apparently, Ms. Toriel! He had never imagined her to be so controlling, but his father made her sound, well, exactly like him. 

He had lost his appetite. The two plates were still steaming on the table. He interrupted his father, “...may I be excused?”

His father took a beat, derailing himself from his spiel. “Sure, son. You’ll see the benefit soon, I swear.”

He calmly walked into his room, shut the door, and reset his record back to Breathe(In Your Hair) . When he sat on the ground, he slipped out his phone, checking his messages with Kris. He had finally beaten their Bario Mountain time and texted them about it earlier in the day. No response. Just another great thing happening to him right now. 

————————————————————

Berdly’s phone was ringing. It was midnight, and Berdly’s phone was ringing. See You Next Week by The Mondays was softly echoing through his still room. Berdly lifted himself from his comfy bed and grabbed up his phone. 

“Hullo?” His sleepy voice sounded a bit silly.

“ BERDMAN! Thank fuck, took you long enough to pick up. ”

“Susie?” He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up his brain. This was probably important.

“ Listen, Berdly. I don’t know much, so I can’t tell you much, but all I gotta say is that you’ve gotta get down to the church. ”

“The church?? Susie, it’s the middle–”

“It’s Kris, man. I don’t get them but– but you do. Please, man. I’m not prepped for this kinda stuff.”

Berdly was suddenly quite awake. “Allrightthanksforcallingseeyouatschoolbye!” He hastily hung up and threw his phone in his pocket, putting on his slippers before quickly creeping out of his room. He may very well catch hell for this later, but this had to be big. Susie was not the type of person to do this if it wasn’t. 

————————————————————

Berdly’s slippers and the bottoms of his plaid PJ pants were wet by the time he got to the church. Dew had been everywhere in the silent, dark town. He had never seen it so still, so peaceful. It was rather intimidating to walk up to the massive wooden doors of the building. 

There was a soft noise coming from the sanctuary. It took him a second to recognize it, but when he cracked the door and peeked inside, he saw it. Kris, sitting on the bench of the organ. The sanctuary was dark, only being lit by the meager moonlight straining through the stained glass. The room was a dim rainbow, dust motes floating away from the front as if being pushed by the organ. 

Berdly, who had been preparing what on earth he would say to Kris when he saw them, was suddenly at a loss for words. He suddenly found himself sitting on the cold, hard pew, unable to bring himself to interrupt Kris. He listened as the first section rang out over the sanctuary. 

At first, it was low to the ground, like a pedal tone underlying everything else. It slowly grew upwards, into a major chord that shook the air around Berdly. A brief pause, and the piece broke out into a dramatic melody. It was dense, somewhat brooding music, like a cry to two unfeeling and blind gods. Kris’s shoulders tensed and relaxed with every chord as the melody gradually gained intensity. They were playing, somehow, without sheet music. Berdly knew very little about organ, but he knew it was a hell of a lot harder than the piano. As the music swelled in his lungs, he wondered what other sides of Kris they hid from the world. The music contracted again. It became a whisper, a descending ladder of a single note that broke back into a low and pleading melody. As the organ’s calls went unanswered, the bottom bass dropped out, throwing its line into the heavens. It climbed, and climbed, never losing the quality of a cry from the oppressed. 

The movement was a grave , that was clear. Halfway through, it twisted and morphed from a pleading voice into a suppressed rage, bursting out through arpeggios and a low, shouting pedal tone. The movement went back and forth several times, like a holy person holding and releasing his anger against the powerful and the sinful, those who sought to keep them down and keep them from their love. 

As the second and third movements went on, the emotions of the work just washed over Berdly. He could no longer comprehend the rage, the sorrow that hid in every note. No, his attention was called to something else, the artist sitting at the keys. It was hard to make out the fuzzy silhouette of Kris, but their motions were clear as a moonbeam. They danced across the keys in an unrefined, cramping position. It looked immensely painful, as if they were wringing themselves of all humanity as they played through the piece. Berdly could hardly imagine how difficult the work was. 

It was moving to see the usually so calm and cool Kris show real pain. Berdly had always envied that; the way things just seemed to bounce off of them like tears on plastic. But here, that was a world away. The heaving of their chest was obvious here; usually, it was so restricted by their binder. Their head hung low, bangs almost touching the ivories. He could feel the vibrations from the organ as the wind rushed through it, and wondered how anyone could be sleeping; how Susie could have possibly passed up the chance to see this. 

Eventually, the third movement came into its ending section, and Kris further leaned over the organ, leaning their entire weight into the instrument. It grew faster and faster, into a cacophony of runs and rising chords. Their entire body was shaking up and down with the tempo as they poured out everything they had. The entire sanctuary was shaking as they went into the ending chords. Berdly, for a moment, forgot he was even there, that he was anything more than a 3rd person observer in the awe-inspiring playing. His breath hitched; the sound was pressing on his lungs. Their playing was insane, like something Berdly would have seen at a concert hall. 

It was a concert for no one, a deluge of hate and fear and sorrow and love to an empty void. The work came to a close, vibrating the pews with its last, held-out notes. 

Kris’s hands collapsed from the keys into their lap. Even from the back of the large room, Berdly could see the way they were shaking. Berdly was shaken as well. He felt hollow, like the music had come into his chest, scooped everything else, and thrown it unceremoniously onto the floor. 

He slowly put a wing onto the back of the pew in front of him and stood, his eyes never leaving Kris. Shaky step after shaky step, he approached the bench. As he walked up, Kris was wiping their eyes and their nose with the collar of their sleep shirt. They were back in the BREAK THE CAGE   tee again.

Berdly gulped and lightly laid his wing on Kris’s shoulder. “...Kris?”

Kris whipped around, eyes red and full of fear. They were terrified, but Berdly wasn’t sure if they were scared of someone, like, hurting them, or of someone having heard what they did. They blinked at him as if trying to get rid of a mirage. “Berdly?! Berdly, what the hell are you doing here?”

He slid his wing off their arm, giving a weak, spaced-out smile. “I-I don’t really know… Susie just, called me up and said I had to come here…” 

They turned away to look out the stained glass. “Suz…”

Berdly took a hesitant seat on the bench next to Kris. The colored light from the windows was shining brightly on them, compared to the drab rest of the place. The two took a few breaths, Kris staring out the window, and Berdly trying to take in the feeling of mastering the colossal keyboard. 

“You sounded amazing,” he said in a small voice. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”

Kris looked down at their lap, flexing their hands. “Thanks… hope it isn’t too weird, finding me here… in the middle of the night…”

Berdly thought on that for a moment. “Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I’ll get out my headphones and just listen to classical stuff. This isn’t that different.”

They gave a choked chuckle. “I’m not doing this because I can’t sleep. Seems like a lot of work for that.”

He looked down at his wings resting on his legs, and wondered whether to intrude. “Why, then?”

“... I dunno. Dealing with stuff, I guess.” Berdly let them continue. “Father Alvin knows I come out here, but he’s the only one. I play at night a lot, when I have to think about things, and sleeping isn’t working.”

Berdly weakly chuckled. Angel, he felt so drained. “Penny for your thoughts?”

After a moment, Kris answered in a grim voice. “My mom– your dad, they don’t think we should be… together, I guess.”

Yeah, that made sense for a reason. “He told me about that. Disconnected from reality completely.”

Kris had no response. Their head was hanging low.  

He felt his voice rising, no longer under the ever-powerful thumb of his father. “I mean, the whole idea is just absurd. I’ve never been wilder, never been free–”

Kris slid their hand over slightly, resting their hand on the tip of his wing. Their chest was rising up and down in a shaky motion. 

“...Kris?”

Suddenly, the human pulled him into a close hug. 

————————————————————

The sensation of his feathers on their neck, their cheek, their collarbone; it was like diving into a sea of velvet blankets. Kris had been sorely missing the feeling of their arms around Berdly, if only as a temporary relief. This time, there were no tears. 

“I care about you, Berd.” Their voice was muffled by his pillowy plume. “I-I’m sorry if sometimes I push you out of your comfort zone, I just get all… cooped up, and I gotta do something crazy. And you’re the only one I–I want to do that stuff with.”

They felt two wings tentatively wrap around their back, gradually accepting and constricting into a tight hug. He nestled his head in the crook of their neck, burying his face. 

After a while of them sitting in the moonlight, Kris pulled away and held Berdly by his shoulders. They moved up one hand to hold his cheek, staring deeply into his face. They were intent on memorizing every aspect of him, to draw if their parents really did separate them. 

————————————————————

Berdly was, once again, fighting to control his breathing. His wings were still loosely wrapped around Kris’s waist, and he could feel himself crumbling under their gaze. With the colored moonlight streaming in, it was possible to fully see their face. A rare, rare treat. 

“I care about you too, K….” As their thumb ran over the plume of his face, he found himself thinking back to the beach. 

The concerned look on their face as they held his forehead in the sun, studying him with a bitten lip. They had been so concerned about him, over just a little scratch. Who could say that this was someone who did not care for him, who is a ‘bad influence ?’ They had gingerly applied a large bandage, making sure not to get any of his feathers under the adhesive. Ah, and who could forget them diving into the pitch black sea to get his glasses? It had been wholly unnecessary, but touching nonetheless. Those tiny gestures, though unnoticed by most, were unable to fade from his vision. 

As Kris sighed, gazing over every individual feather and feature, Berdly came to an important realization: he felt like himself. He always did when he was around Kris. It was what drew him to them so magnetically, made him willing to get up at midnight just ot hear them play the organ. All the gaming, the studying, the scheming; not once had they truly judged him or told him to be something he wasn’t. It might be a low bar, but it’s a bar not many hurdle. Kris was soaring over it. 

“I liked the record, um, by the way…” ( stupid, stupid ). Kris chuckled, giving a smile that looked bent out of shape. Their face was a collage of colors and tear streaks; authentic like no other. No attempts at bravado, no dramatics beyond reason. Despite it all, it was still Kris. Kris was–

The epiphany hit him like a hook to the face, knocking the breath from his lungs. His beak hung slightly ajar as he looked on with wide eyes. Kris was the most beautiful person Berdly had ever seen. Even here, after weeping and contorting and sweating and dying, they were still a beauty beyond measure. Angel, how the fuck had it taken this long to see?

He stared rather awkwardly as Kris moved their hand up his face, stroking his plume.

————————————————————

Kris ran their fingers through his feathers as they tried desperately to say something, say anything. They had just poured their damn soul out to Susie about the guy, and now all they could say was “I care about you?” It was so, so much more than that. Even if Kris didn’t really understand it. Care was a weak word.

Eventually, a whisper slipped from their lips. “I care about you way, way more than you know…” Oh yeah, real clear. Real descriptive. All they could do was imagine all the pretty and emotional things they would say to him one day and take in the sensation of his face with their hands. Would–

Under their fingers, they felt something rough. The scar. In an instant, their attempt at a smile faded, and the memories came flooding back.

Berdly splayed out on the sand, waiting for the waves to take him. Berdly wilting under his father's gaze, the way his parents talked about his behavior. The breakdown Berdly had over just an A-.

How the hell could they forget? How could they forget that they were hurting him? Wasn’t it obvious? Now they were dragging him out of bed at midnight just to hear–

“Kris? You ok? You look pale…” He looked concerned. Damn him. Concerned for the person who was ruining his relationship with his parents, concerned for the person who was forcing him down the wrong route. Their hands, which had been stilled by the feeling of his feathers under them, shook again as they pulled away.

“I–...” Kris stamered and slowly pushed away. Paralyzed, unable to leave or to stay. Their breathing was quickening as a panic overtook them.

Berdly’s face was very worried now, and he scooted forward on the polished wood to hold them-

And Kris shot up. They mumbled a quick apology and spedwalked out into the cool night air before he could respond or ask them to stop. Dear Angel, they could even see the trail through the dew he had made trying to find them. How could they let it get this bad?? How, How???

They rushed off back towards their house, trying desperately not to shed another tear. 

————————————————————

Berdly was alone on the bench. Left behind, helpless; it was a common position for him now. He couldn't stop his parents; he couldn't understand Kris; all he could do was stumble from one event to the next. Like a rag doll, being tossed in a game of monkey in the middle. And no matter how deep he saw into Kris, they were still as opaque as the stained glass that surrounded him. It was 2 AM, he was by himself, and he was already cooling from the absence of their embrace.

With a well-practiced sigh, he stood and turned to leave. He had a large amount to contemplate, as well as one image to run through his mind for the next few days. 

Chapter Text

Berdly and Kris had been acting very strange for the last week, and Susie hated it. She knew she would eventually have to deal with whatever drama was going on with them. Susie loved the pair, no doubt, but she was not prepared to manage their emotional fallout if they didn’t work whatever the fuck was going on out. It was becoming frustrating to the point of distraction. She cared about Kris, and they were clearly messed up by what was happening, but they had gone into one of their famous silent spells. Not speaking outside of a few words, basically running away from class as soon as it was over, they were all fucked up. 

Noelle talked about the two like a silly soap opera plot; she was extremely invested in their potential romance. Obviously, they would be cute together, but Susie didn’t see the benefit of meddling in their lives. Besides… it seemed a bit more important than a cheesy TV show. 

Susie didn’t want to involve herself, to be all melodramatic and make them kiss like two dolls. She didn’t want to admit she cared at all. They had their problems, she had hers. Why push your burden onto someone else? But her friends were worrying her more than she would like to admit. 

What specifically was tipping her off was their behavior in their most recent class. It was like some parallel people had taken over both of them.

Kris sat at attention, back straight as a ruler. This had become the new normal in the last few days; they were actually, legitimately paying attention to the lesson. No more eyes drawn on eyelids, no more drooling on the desk, no more doodling, even. Laser focus on the final reviews Ms. Alphys was taking the class through. Organized notes! That was a real shock, to see Kris’s tiny, loopy handwriting in neat lines and paragraphs. It was like some ghost of a nerd took them over and was enacting revenge for lectures missed. They were at the front of the class, staring at the whiteboard without blinking. What struck Susie the most was the way they clutched their pencil, hands shaking and knuckles white. It made her uncomfortable to watch them write. 

Berdly was somehow more concerning. He was sitting in the middle of the room, not in front for once in his life. He seemed desperate not to pay attention, and Susie had noticed him folding some pretty impressive stuff. Today, it was an airplane, a little football that he managed to shoot across the room to hit Noelle, and even a makeshift catapult with a plastic spoon. His note pages had been almost completely blank when Susie passed by, the margins covered with doodles. It was almost amusing watching him. Almost. 

For the entire class, he had been testing his catapult, clearly trying to land papers on Kris’s desk. Each time it worked, they would de-crumple the strip of paper, look at it for a few moments, and force themselves to let it drift onto the floor. Litterers, whatever. 

Kris wrote back only once, after staring at one of Berdly’s doodles for a long, long time. This time, they folded the strip of paper into a small paper airplane and covertly shot it behind their back at him. Apparently, that had been enough for Berdly; the catapult sat unused for the rest of class.

Well, that made it obvious. Susie had to know what was on all those strips of paper. Berdly had been quick about picking up all the discarded scraps right after the bell rang, quickly stuffing them into the trash before going to lunch. But Susie had something he didn’t: teeth.

“Uhm, Ms. Alphys, I have a, uh, weird request.” Susie rarely stayed after class. Alphys was already sweating, just from Susie’s Aura. 

“Oh? W-What’s up, Susie? Anything you need, I’m the– the cool teacher after all!”

“I’m really hungry. Do you think–”

“Oh! Well, lunch is just that way, Susie, no problem!”

“No, like, I’m really hungry.” She bared her teeth, hoping to slightly intimidate the lizard. “I was wondering if–” She raised her finger to point at the trash can, but…

Alphys reached behind her and snatched up the apple, sweating profusely. Clearly, Susie had been much more intimidating than intended. “H-Here! Just take this, it’s on the house, it’s not a problem, Berdly gave it to me and he gives me one every–”

“Thanks, Alphys, but I don’t–” It physically hurt her to lie this hard. “I don’t like apples. I was wondering if I could, um… eat your trash…”

The teacher looked flabbergasted. “What, all the paper? You can eat that?”

Susie gave a toothy smile. “Yep. Love it.”

Alphys stood there for a moment, shocked. “Well, I guess… um, you have fun with that, Susie.” She rushed out of the room. 

Susie wasted no time digging through the papers to find all the various crumpled balls from Berdly. It was a bit of work sorting them out, but she managed. 

Berdly’s style was clear: It was detailed, quite precise, like he thought someone was looking over his shoulder while he was drawing. He drew strange things, covering sticky notes in designs that kind of looked like geometric stained glass, a lot of bird cages, and music notes. One piece of paper was bigger than the rest, written on a whole half sheet. It was an organ, like the one at church. This one was a bit different, though; its pipes extended up off and off the page, twisting and contorting like weird tentacles down strange and divergent paths. Next to the bench of the organ, there was a passage of text. Susie thought it was a haiku, but she wasn’t sure. 

“ Music surrounds me

Woolen arms like rough summer–

Hate! to say goodbye ”

This must have been the one Kris finally responded to, because the only scrap that matched their handwriting had a response.


“ Sorry about that

Could not see the scar you bear

My summer storms drown you ”

Susie had no idea what any of it meant. It was just more stupid, emotional, mysterious bullshit from the two of them. All she knew was that something went down at the church, and she HAD to know what. 

————————————————————

Toriel had always known her child was a bit strange; such is natural with a human growing up in a monster world. But it comes to a point. What was concerning her this time was not the weirdness, no, it was the lack thereof. No more Twinkies smuggled from the grocery store, no more flipping all the furniture upside down for ‘ a new perspective ,’ no more disappearing into the forest and coming back with a new story. Kris was acting like a robot.

It had started the morning before Toriel told them about not seeing Berdly, so it couldn’t have been that. It must be some kind of stressful thing…

When they came home from school, they went straight to their room, like the toy soldiers they used to play with when they were small. When she pinned them down, they would always give the same response, “ Just focused on finals right now. ” They barely ate at all, and when they did, it was in total silence. When Toriel looked through the crack in the door, they would see Kris splayed out on the floor, surrounded by papers and books. She couldn’t believe it, but they were actually studying. 

Except for today, they had not eaten at all. They no longer even gave short answers to her questions. It had been about a week since her phone call with “ Sterling ,” but this was the worst day so far. 

To check on them, Toriel broke a rule she had been breaking a lot recently; she spied on her child. Peeking through the crack in the door, she could see Kris crouched in the center of the room. Knees to their chest, perfectly still.

They were playing an extremely old-sounding cassette, a habit they had picked up from listening to Susie’s old mixes (Toriel really could not understand why you would force yourself to listen to something so antiquated). Tonight, it was Gina Vermelli’s album, Brother and Brother , a rock classic from the 70s. Toriel had grown up listening to it and other artists like Vermelli, but they hadn’t gotten the taste from her. 

To say they were listening to the album was a bit wrong; they were just listening to one song. Wish I Was Flying , over and over and over again. Even for Toriel, it was a bit of a syrupy, soppy track. The kind of thing Kris would never admit to having heard. And yet, they were listening. Sometimes from the beginning, but mostly the same set of lyrics repeatedly. Toriel would hear the section play out, then the rewinding noise, and hear it again.

“And I'd reach my highest ground

If you were mine

Oh, you, you just need to say the word

And I'll be there

And the world is right–”

Rewind. 

“I feel like flyin'

I wanna run away with you

Don't you feel like tryin'

I wanna spend my nights–”

Rewind. 

“ Oh, you, you just need to say the word

And I'll be there

And the world is right

When someone really cares–”

Rewind.

“Oh you, you just need to say the word

And I'll be there

And the world is right–”

Rewind. 

To Toriel, it seemed like torture. After all, it looked like Kris was getting something done to them. Though she would never say it aloud, the bags under Kris’s eyes had tripled in depth and size as of late. Despite the repetition, Kris stayed completely still. The only thing that moved was their right hand, rewinding and pressing play.

It was concerning. 

————————————————————

The three had been studying for four hours, which was a lot, even for Noelle. Noelle and Berdly were at the Library’s computer lab, sitting across from each other. Susie was, of course, standing off to the side and writing her notes with her paper against the wall. She got restless sitting. The session had been especially torturous, because at every moment she wanted to blurt out “DID YOU KISS???!!” or “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH KRIS??!!” But no, they were studying for final exams that were much more important than usual. No place for drama, or even long sighs about there being no drama. It was a distinctly un-anime situation. 

Berdly had been much less studious than usual. His obsessive notetaking was a slog for him now. Every 5 seconds, he would grit his teeth and refocus on the page, and he had nodded off a few times during the session. Eventually, when he had to put his beak into the page to see clearly, Noelle had to speak up. 

“Um, Berd… You ok, buddy?” He looked like he was about to peck his way through the history textbook. 

The bird must have been engrossed, because he looked up like he had forgotten Noelle and Susie were there. “Yeah!” He cleared his throat. “Just analyzing this text with as much precision as my intellect can muster. Which is… a lot…” 

“We can take a break, if you want.”

He opened his beak with his classic smug smile, but nothing came out. For a moment, he looked over his notes, and then looked back up at Noelle. “I suppose we could take a pause in our quest. To regain the senses, yes.” Noelle was a bit taken aback; the question was mostly rhetorical. Berdly never took breaks while studying. He once told her that his parents would glare and not talk to him as long as he was taking breaks in chores or homework. Typical. 

He closed his books with a deep sigh. His ego was ringing a bit hollow. “Something on your mind, Berd?”

“Just– Just nervous, haha…”

Noelle reached across the table and softly put her hand on Berdly. “You’ve got this, dude.”

After a moment, Susie closed her book and cleared her throat. “Um, maybe… Maybe getting whatever’s going on off your chest will help. Just sayin’.” Noelle was caught off guard; usually, Susie never even acknowledged the drama surrounding her.

Berdly looked down at his notes, gathering his breath. 

“Don’t worry, Susie! Though my father’s moving-related threats may be affecting my HP a little more this school year, I know I can outwit him- and these insignificant tests!” The circles under his eyes, shining black against his plume, were growing to match Kris’s. He was now shakily holding his pencil the same way they did when they took tests. As much as Noelle wanted not to pry, it was obviously more than just moving away. 

“Yeah, but… I mean, Kris said he’s always been threatening that, right? Always looking for a reason to leave here?” Susie gave Noelle a side eye, gulping. She was not used to interrogations. “What’s, uh… What’s different?”

Berdly stared into space, as if he was asking himself the same question. Noelle could no longer hold herself back. 

“ It’saboutKrisright? I mean, we won’t tell, but- it’s about Kris, right?” 

The air of the room was tense, like the fibers of a spiderweb connecting the four were stretched taut. Berdly hadn’t moved. 

Noelle was bursting at the seams for that sweet, juicy gossip. She HAD to know what the Berd had been up to after he had seen Kris in the rock outfit, if they had “connected” at the church, or what the hell was wrong with Kris. She saw Susie silently shaking her head “ no .”

Noelle leaned up in her chair to put her hand on his shoulder. “It’ll help to say it, Berd. What happened that ni–”

Berdly shot up in his chair, surprising Noelle. He was very poorly concealing his hyperventilation, and he gave a forced, breathy chuckle. “HAHAAH sorry guys, I really, really have to go! Um, Mrs. Boom… need help… with a, uh MATH PROBLEM!”

He hastily grabbed up his stuff, not pausing to enjoy the texture of his books, and ran out of the room, shouting over his shoulder. “ Thanks for your help… ”

Noelle was a bit taken aback. She had no idea he was that… well, scared. Susie gave a deep sigh. 

“Ah, man. You scared him off.”

“W-What just happened??”

Susie sat back down in her chair, crossing her arms. “I think this whole deal might be a bit more delicate than your mom’s soaps.”

Noelle felt a bit sheepish. She had been pretty excited. There was never any romance in hometown, but Berdly and Kris were just like all the Dragon Blazers she would read and immediately clear her search history after. Maybe she had been… shipping them, a bit.

“I–I didn’t mean to… I was just curious…”

Susie chuckled. “Well, you know what they say about curiosity… We just gotta give them time, maybe.”

“Do you think they’ll be ok?”

Susie didn’t respond for a little bit.

“I don’t know. I think so– I hope so. A month ago, if you had told me I would be sad about the thought of that little blue hairball leaving, I woulda have beat the sh– the crap out of you. But here I am, worrying.”

Noelle gave a small smile, standing. She walked around the table, putting a soft hand around Susie’s shoulder. “Let’s just get out of here, Susie. I can’t stand this silly computer room anymore, faha.”

Chapter Text

It had been a painful week for Susie since then, leading up to the final exam day. More and more study sessions with Noelle and Berdly; in each one, he looked a bit more like a limp corpse. She hated these kinds of metaphors, but it looked like his absence from Kris was draining his life force. And absence was the right word. The two had not spoken in a while. Kris hadn’t spoken to anyone recently, actually. Berdly had said it was because of their parents…

…but also, Kris hadn’t even tried to break their restrictions. That concerned Susie. The idea of Kris as a straight edge was…. Horrifying. 

It was the day of the final exams, finally. Susie was so relieved to have this be over with. Not just as an end to her somewhat shaky academic year, but also as an end to the drama. Kris and Berdly would both do great on their finals, and their parents would wake up from their dumbass delusions, and the two would make out in the forest and live happily ever after. Right?

Susie was waiting outside the school, having arrived early . She guessed Kris and Berdly weren’t the only ones acting weird. It had happened on pure instinct, and some vague plan / cathartic release was forming in her mind. 

Kris was arriving exactly 5 minutes early. Just as the day before, they looked robotic, as if every movement was planned and practiced. It was a march of death towards the classroom.

“KRIS!” She pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning on. Kris froze mid-step, not turning their head. 

Susie mumbled a quick “ We gotta talk ” before grabbing them by the collar and dragging them around to the left side of the school. It was the same courtyard where Kris and Berdly had started their scheme. Jeez, that felt like a half-year ago… She’d been here before. Back when it was all stupid plans and dumb jokes. Now it felt like the air was heavier. Like it was the last place she could knock sense into them before something worse happened. Susie dragged Kris up to the brick wall, trying to tap back into the bully persona she had recently ditched.

“Alright, Kris. What the fuck is going on?”

No answer. Kris was staring at the dirt. There was something fundamentally different about them. Their body language or something was screaming “puppet.” 

“Why the hell are you acting like Lombardi’s perfect kid?” 

This elucidated a twitch. Progress.

“Hmm. You can’t even say?”

She thought back to the first time they had met, outside the classroom, and took a menacing step towards the human. As if in instinct, they stepped back towards the wall. Susie grabbed them by their collar again, lifting them up and lightly pinning them against the wall.

“Hey.” Kris was still looking at the ground. They were as limp as they were when Susie had been really trying to hurt them. “Let me tell you a secret.”

She lowered her voice. “Pussies piss me off. Acting like a little bitch, bending the knee to some fucking sales executive.”

Kris’s body tensed. Their eyes were covered by their bangs, but Susie could feel the glare, like a red flame on her face. Good. 

“I know what you’re thinkin’. Like, uh. ‘Berdly’s better off without me,’ or ‘I’m holdin’ him back,’ or whatever. And that Lombar-dick might be right.

Yeah, no. I’m not buyin’ that crap. I know you’re not hurting him, okay? That whole idea’s so stupid I’m losin’ brain cells just thinkin’ about it. How the hell’s it wrong to, y’know, care about someone? Or to help ‘em grow? You did help him, Kris. Like, a ton. I saw those soppy-ass poems you two wrote. Don’t try and tell me it’s not real.

Whatever happened at the church, I dunno, but I know it meant somethin’ to him. And you mean somethin’ to him. I’d put ten bucks down that all the crap from his dad is just ‘ Sterling ’ lookin’ for an excuse to ditch this place.

Anyway, my point is, you’re acting like a pussy, but you got a good chance right now, man.” Her grip relaxed. Kris was breathing heavily now.

“Berdly… Berdly needs you. More than he needs me or Noelle. He’s been a fucking disaster these last few days. Now, right now, you can fix it. Bullshit or not, it’ll prove his dad wrong.”

She dropped Kris. “You get me, Kris?”

Susie thought she saw a small, imperceptible nod. Fuck yeah, mission accomplished. She breathed a deep sigh and speedwalked away, eager to escape the vulnerable atmosphere of the courtyard. Kris just stood there, staring at the grass. Susie hoped the brief emergence of “ Bully Susie ” wasn’t too bad. Made her a bit queasy, doing that kinda thing anymore. Yeah, Noelle was probably rubbin’ off on her. Or maybe she was just getting soft. Gross.

————————————————————

Berdly shuffled into the bathroom at 5:37 AM, clutching his eye mask like it was a holy relic. Ten minutes, the box said. Ten minutes was the rule. He set the timer for twenty. “ Double the recovery, double the results, ” he muttered, trying not to think about the fact that he hadn’t actually opened his math notes yet.

By minute twenty-five, the mask had started to crust around the edges, but he told himself it was fine. Great, even. Maybe this would be the day he discovered some new skin-care frontier and finally earned his place on TED talk.

He peeled the mask off and tossed it unceremoniously. His feathers were damp, sticking at odd angles. He smoothed them down three times, then four, then stopped and stared at his reflection. He looked tired. Not like a genius, like he had spent all time writing a new theorem,  but regular tired. He reached for his gel cleanser again and did a second wash. Maybe a third.

It wasn’t really the test that was screwing with him; it was the dream he had. Not even a particularly interesting nightmare. He was just trapped in a minimalist apartment in Seattle, with white walls and few decorations. It felt like a movie set, like it was all just for an audience. He remembered wandering around the halls, watching his parents eating dinner at a huge, spaced-out table, and this weird art. He’d seen it before, online. Men in Cities, Robert Longo. No clue why it had shown up in his dream, or really what the dream meant in general. 

At the kitchen table, he pulled out the Sudoku like always. Seven minutes was his record, but he wasn’t racing today. He wrote a 4, erased it, wrote it again, erased it more slowly, like the numbers would magically change if he just coaxed them gently enough. The puzzle was half-filled when his kettle started shrieking. He shot up from the book, hoping that the tea would relax the oncoming headache. Migraines had become commonplace in the last few days.

He poured the water, watched the steam rise, and thought about what it would be like moving away. To be honest, he was already a bit resigned. Not that he would admit it to his friends, but Berdly was having a hard time believing that anything less than, oh, a 110% on his finals would let him stay. Over the many lectures from the last two weeks, he had come to understand that really, his parent’s problem was the town. Not his academics, not his social life, but the “hick simpletons” of Hometown. 

An awful cloud had been hanging over him for a bit now, overwhelming dread had swallowed him whole since the night at the organ. He had never been nervous at school before, not in this way. Berdly had been on guard before, but this felt different. Looking at Alphys’s notes on the blackboard gave him the distinct feeling of a fuse burning down to the end. 

————————————————————

Berdly was arriving at school now, clutching the straps of his light blue backpack close. He was going to walk into the class, sit down, do his best, and start packing when he got home. He had even made a playlist specifically for his situation: “ Loud Music .” He usually looked down his beak at heavy metal, but he couldn’t think of better music for drowning out thoughts. It was a skill he reckoned he was going to have to master.

Berdly made it through the double doors, down to the left of the hallway, and he almost, almost made it to the door of the classroom. However, like a wide receiver in those ball-foot games his mother always watched, he was intercepted. Kris jumped out at him from behind a locker, brandishing a pencil like a foil in fencing. Oh, no, wait, they were just offering it to him. It was a No. 2 pencil, with one of those cheesy, plastic, patterned wraps on it. Covered in little red pixelated hearts. 

He wasn’t sure how to feel as he stared at them. Their bangs were completely blocking their face, their whole head tilted down. Berdly hadn’t spoken to them in 13 days, 4 hours, and 23 minutes. 

“for good luck,” they mumbled, pointing the pencil to him. With feathers shaking, he took the pencil and stashed it in his pocket. For some reason, his mind was drawn to his favorite Gundam, Perfect Grade Strike Freedom. He felt like some kind of space pilot, diving into an unknown darkness.

It took him a moment to speak. “Um, thanks, Kris… Good, good luck to–”

Their head snapped up. “C'mere,” they mumbled, eyes burning a bright red. They pulled him off into the side of the hallway, away from the other students putting their stuff away. 

Berdly began to sweat. He had already long since reconciled himself to the fact that he would never speak to Kris again. Clearly, something he said at the church had pissed them off, or scared them, or hurt them. They had wanted nothing to do with him for the last while, and so he was prepared to fail and move away, never seeing them again and pushing whatever feelings he had for them down into a dark, dark hole. But now, here they were, talking to him. Really talking.

He cleared his throat. “Ah, Kris! Looking for some last-minute wisdom from my genius brain, hm? Well, you’re out of luck, I’ve already, uh, uploaded all my data to the cloud of victory! You’ll have to settle for third place yet again while I… while I…” He swallowed, feathers twitching. “What are you doing?”

They didn’t seem to be listening to him as they looked at their palm. He couldn’t see what, but they had scrawled something onto their skin with a pen.

“Berd.” They spoke like a robot, but something about their posture was different. He couldn’t tell what, but he knew. “I’m sorry.” They took a long breath, readying themselves. “I’m sorry for…

…I’m sorry for avoiding you this last little while. I was worried that I was going to hold you back, stop you from focusing on what’s important, and that I was going to cause you to get shipped off to New York or some other big city that your parents like. I thought that it would help you, but Susie pinned me up against a wall, and now I'm reconsidering.”

Berdly was dimly wondering about the connection between this speech and getting pinned to a wall as Kris took a few breaths. Their entire body was taut, just like when they had played the organ. It looked like it hurt to speak. 

“Berdly… Man, I need you.” 

Berdly felt the breath leave his lungs. This was a side of Kris he rarely saw, when they put the Made-For-TV charm back in the box and spoke from the soul. 

“I don’t fully understand what’s going on with you, but please. Please, please don’t move away. Please. I can’t do any of this without you, without your stupid, genuine quirks and traits. I don’t know if I made things worse. Maybe I did. Not talking to you has made a lot of things worse, though. For me.” They looked up from their hand. 

“I miss um... your feathers. The way you–...:"

"…never mind.” Berdly was having a hard time thinking, but he thought he saw a small blush on their face.

“Listen, the point is, I don’t just believe in you.” They stashed their hand back in their pocket.  “I need you to do well, and I know you can. You’re so, so smart Berd. Please don’t give up.”

And with that, Kris looked back down and broke into a full sprint towards the classroom. Berdly was left alone once more, but it was a much, much different kind of alone than he had felt at the church. 

————————————————————

Things had been getting pretty heavy. But the world didn’t end in that classroom. The school emptied, summer air filled the streets, and a great weight was lifted from the young people of Hometown. 

 Noelle was feeling a lot chiller since she had gotten out of the classroom and out of finals. The school year was finally over, and all the stress that came with it was dissipating. Even the melodrama of Kris and Berdly was a bit of a secondary priority to her now. 

It was evening now, and the answer bubbles and questions of the day were already fading from her mind. She was sitting on a plaid blanket, surrounded by the ambient noises of the forest. The rustling of the leaves, the sound of the cicadas, the slow babble of the stream that ran through Kris’s backyard. 

She had brought an iceberg salad and some homemade ranch. Her mom had helped her make the dressing, even though she knew it was for Susie. Progress. Noelle, since starting to date Susie, had found out that it was not very normal to only eat salads. She was trying a lot of new foods with her, but it was still good to have a nice Iceberg now and then.

Susie had brought some delicious homemade chili and tortilla chips, wayyyy better than the stuff the pair had gotten at the mall. Hearty, meaty, and spicy. Too spicy for Noelle, but she was fighting through the pain. Couldn’t look like a coward while telling a ghost story, after all. 

Their strange combination of picnic foods was supplemented by a large dessert; both of them had gotten chocolate-covered strawberries as a surprise for one another. 

But the fun times of feeding each other and cuddling in the sunset were OVER! It was spooky time now. 

She had a flashlight to her chin, projecting the shadow of her face up into the branches of the forest. Susie was sitting on the other side of the blanket, curled up and holding her knees; Noelle had never seen her scared before. 

“...and the man, after being ridiculed and shunned by his home, decided to leave. He would leave, and never return, going off into the woods with a tent and seeds and starting a new life. At first, the villagers were happy to be rid of the creep, but he never even attempted to contact his family. They began to get worried…

First, they searched the woods for his camp. When that didn’t come up with anything, they sent out sniffing robots. When all else failed, they sent out helicopters.

Eventually, they found his camp… but they wish they hadn’t…”

Susie pulled the blanket up to the top of her knees. “W--Why??”

“His whole setup had been shredded to pieces, and there was a trail of a body being dragged by something MASSIVE back to an unexplored cave. The helicopter pilot landed for a closer look, and neither he nor the hiker was ever heard from–”

Her story was suddenly interrupted by a crack in the woods. A LOUD crack. Susie gasped and quickly scooted over to Noelle, wrapping her in her arms with an alarmed expression on her face. Noelle couldn’t decide if she was more excited or scared; she had never seen a real, live horror monster. But also, you know, she was absolutely going to die. 

The two held each other, not bearing to breathe, as the footstep sounds got faster and faster and closer and closer. Susie was whispering rapidly in the deer’s ear, “ ohmygodnoellethisisitwe’regonnadiethisishowitends ”

Something low and spinning broke out from the underbrush, letting out a hideous groan as it slowed in front of the lovers. Wait, hold on–

“ Berdly??????!!!! ” The ‘thing’ from the woods was covered in dirty feathers. He groaned as it stood, covered in mud, sticks, and leaves. The bluebird of misfortune was wearing a blank, black athletic shirt, cargo pants, and a massive backpack. 

“H-hey guys, what– what are you doing here?…” He gave a weak smile, but was covered in scratches and bruises. 

Susie hurriedly stood up, trying to hide her fear. She put her hands on her hips indignantly. “What are WE doing here? What the hell? You scared the shit out of us!”

He raised his hands. “Sorry, sorry! I didn’t know you guys were down here. I was just up on Riding Meadow trail for a little hike. Cardio is great practice for those long, strenuous study sess–”

“Yeah, yeah, Cadiomasculine exercise or whatever, no need to give us a lecture, Berdman.” She rolled her eyes.

Noelle stood, brushing off her skirt. “Since when do you hike, Berdly? Never knew you to be an outdoorsman.”

He cleared his throat, slipping back into the smarmy voice he always put on. “Actually, Noelle, I’ve always been a naturalist! I’ve had a preserved leaf collection since I was 9!”

Noelle chuckled. “And the kayaking, that was your idea too, right? It looked like a lot of fun.”

Cut off mid info-dump, he stopped. His hand was still thoughtfully stroking his chin. After a moment, he continued. “Well–”

Susie apparently couldn’t hold it back any longer. “YOU’RE GOING TO THE DANCE, RIGHT?”

Berdly scoffed nervously. Noelle thought she could see the years of bullying flashing before his eyes as he stared at Susie’s bare grin. “Of course I would never shy away from the finer arts of movement…! …Though, naturally, one must consider their options carefully…! I’ve got so, so many suitors, you see…”

She continued. “IF YOU DON’T GO WITH KRIS, I’M GONNA RIP YOUR FACE OFF.”

He just stood there in a painful, hunched position for a while. Eventually, the awkwardness was too much to bear for him.  “Well… yes, um… I think I’ll leave you two for your… date… The trail waits for no bird, as they say…

He brushed himself off, did a weird little bow, and walked off in a random direction into the woods. 

Susie chuckled as she watched him go. “CAN’T HIDE LOVE, NERDLY!”

Noelle elbowed her with a giggle. “Susie! Go easy on him, he’s just a widdle boy…”

Susie elbowed back, “A widdle, widdle boy wit a BWIG crush…”

The two sat back down and resumed their evening together. Noelle suspected she had a long night of catching strawberries in her mouth ahead of her…

————————————————————

Kris was also enjoying a nice, natural dinner. They were on the beach, nix on the picnic blanket, though. Instead of a little wicker basket and two cases of chocolate-covered strawberries, they were surrounded by papers. Lots of papers and small rocks to hold them down against the wind. It was 1:03 AM, and they were writing.

masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire : Meanwhile, another Gundam pilot, Duo Maxwell — my personal favorite — shows up with a SCYTHE ROBOT because he’s so cool. But anyway, the episode basically establishes that five teenage boys in billion-dollar murder machines are going to completely destabilize Earth’s government.

realmonster420: we should totally do that sometime

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire : In conclusion, Kris, if you do not IMMEDIATELY marathon Gundam Wing, you are basically depriving yourself of culture on par with Shakespeare or Undertale. Except with more lasers. 

realmonster420: you should show it 2 me sometime sound cool the way you say it

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire : Of course, Krismas. I’ll spare you my deeper elucidations on the themes of coming of age, individuality, and freedom. 

realmonster420: gotta do it in person

realmonster420: only fair

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Anyway, what are you up to?

Kris had been on the lakeshore for a few hours now, trying to put stuff into words. They had been playing their conversation with Susie at the creek on repeat in their mind, trying to distill their feelings into 17 syllables. Berdly always made it look so damn easy. 

realmonster420: monchin on my sandwich

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: And what horrors are you consuming this time?

realmonster420: im calling it the swampwhich

Realmonster420: PB mayo pickle chips american cheese little bit of black olives and some tater chips for crunch

They put down the pen and picked up their phone as Berdly typed and retyped a response. 

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: almost threw the up what the fuck 

realmonster420: mad bcuz you don’t have the professional-level gut biome i do

realmonster420: GTF ON MY LEVEL

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: I thought seeing Noelle and Susie make out after combining chocolate, strawberries, chili, and salad would be the worst test my gag reflex would undergo tonight…

realmonster420: ew wtf why were you spying on them

realmonster420: creepo

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Erm, it wasn’t my fault, actually. They were having a picnic right under the trail I fell off of. 

Kris giggled to themselves at the image of Berdly falling down a hill, covered in scratches and looking all pathetic. 

Masterlombardi_gamerextraordinaire: Anyway, I must rest now to heal my grievous wounds and forget the horrors of that test and its god awful kerning. Goodnight, Mx. Enigma.

The scene of him falling passed through their mind again, but this time, they were a bit worried about how many scrapes he probably had. Falling off of Riding Meadow, that’s not exactly a cushy landing. 

realmonster420: ahh fuck didn’t no u got hurt

They typed out “ guess ill have to kiss it better,” and their finger hovered over the send button. They wanted to joke-flirt with him like they did with all their friends, but for some reason, they couldn’t hit send. Kris hated to think about why that was, so they just sent a quick goodnight and tossed the phone across the sandbar, focusing back on their writing.

After pulling out another one of Dess’s long, black cigarettes and lighting it, they collected the various drafts they had written. 

“ Red eyes in moonlight

your mask slips, and I can see–”

…cheesy beyond measure

“ Stone skipping on stream,

I drag you down in ripples.

Fish scatter away. ”

Too literal. 

“ Your voice, a bright wing.

But my hands keep holding you—

… holding too tightly. ”

He’s a guy, not a fucking martyr. Too melodramatic. 

“ I wanted to say

the way you smile feels like: ”

Written by a third grader. How would they even finish it?

There was one draft they had written without really thinking about it, as Berdly was describing the intricacies of Wagner’s New World Symphony over Monster Discord. 

“ Dragging at your flight,

yet my hands can’t let you go—

I need you, shining .”

They weren’t really sure what they meant when they wrote it. It made their heart flutter to read, like it was tapping into something deep and subconscious. Definitely could never be shown to the public. 

They munched on their sandwich and took a drag on the shrinking cig. Most of the poems ended in some kind of soppy, romantic bullshit. The kind of stuff Kris didn’t think they really meant. Berdly might be a very, very special friend to them, and yeah, they might dream about dancing with him, and yeah, they might have ripped open their pillow to sleep with the feathers, but he was still just a friend. A friend Kris needed quite badly. Back to the drawing board. 

As they finished their sandwich, they wrote down one more thing. 

“ Never meant to hurt

Parents storm and yet I care

You melt hard coward ”

That one would have to do, they supposed. Kris couldn’t bear to write anything more melodramatic and actually show it to anyone. They enjoyed the bitter taste of the fine cigarette for a few more moments, and then balled up all their trash. They needed sleep, to be back with their pillows. 

Chapter Text

Berdly slammed the stack of papers down onto the table. He may have been a bit terrified, but this was the first glimmer of hope he’d had in weeks.

“99, 99, 98.5, 100. I did it, my determination and intelligence prevailed yesterday, just like I said.” He had literally fainted upon seeing the final reports in the mail, an involuntary reaction to anything that made him too happy. 

His father folded his newspaper with a small smile, placing it on the table. “Good job, Berdenard. I knew trimming your social life would do the trick.” He somehow maintained his smile while spearing a chunk of rubbery chicken from his microwave meal. 

“Au contraire, mi papa.” He did his best impression of an anime protagonist, tilting his glasses slightly downward. “I was absolutely going to fail my exams until a certain someone gave me a pep-talk. This is a victory by the magic of friendship!” With his words hanging in the air like a “Mission Accomplished” banner, he slammed down his backpack.

His father’s expression was flat once more. “What do you mean?”

Berdly hesitated. His mental rehearsal had not included follow-up questions. “Kris pulled me aside right before class and– Well, what they said wasn’t important, but it shook me out of my slump! I felt focused, for the first time in a while. Like I had just stopped sleepwalking.”

“Slump? Sleepwalking?” His voice sharpened, and he put down his fork to focus on his son. 

“What… What are you talking about, Berdly? You’ve been more focused and efficient these last couple of weeks than ever before. Your acquaintances were holding you down. Wasn’t that obvious?”

A familiar silence fell over the room, stretching out like this was its home. Though he had practiced this conversation a billion times between the mailbox and the door, he had never considered the possibility that his father just… hadn’t noticed.

He stood there, hand still gripping the sheaf of grades. His father’s meal made all sorts of unnatural pops and squeaks as it cooled.

“But… but we don’t have to move, right? Can we stay in hometown?” His voice came out thin and cracked, and he didn’t dare look up.

Sterling pushed his chair away from the table with a scrape. He stood, tucked his newspaper under his wing, and walked towards the kitchen. “Yes…” 

A tidal wave of relief washed over him. He almost collapsed from the stress being lifted. No more thoughts of trying to make new friends, no more thoughts of what to pack and what to leave, no more nightmares of leaving Kris… and Noelle and Susie, too. 

“…especially that Kris girl.”

Berdly’s stomach dropped as he snapped back to attention. 

“Even in her absence, she caused you to hurt yourself on that blasted unmarked trail.” He had reached the liquor cabinet and was pouring himself a vodka on the rocks. The only garnish for the drink was a leaf of frozen mint. The sound of it crumbling in his father’s feathers was like a period ringing out over the house.  

However, Berdly’s good mood was unshakeable. He was much too busy feeling elated to be upset about what his father had said. He pulled out his phone and started hurriedly texting before hurriedly responding. “Ummm, anyway, I’ve been invited for dinner at the Dreemurrs, and–”

He ran into his room, straightening his shirt and picking up a few essentials before quickly putting on some feather wax. He shouted into the hallway: “-I’m going over there now. I’ll be back late, probably.”

He heard the noise of pouring alcohol stop from the kitchen. “What?” his father shouted back. 

Thankfully, Berdly was out the door before his father could properly process what he had said.

————————————————————

Kris opened the door to the shocking sight of Berdly. Well, he wasn’t shocking; they had invited him over the morning prior, but the state he was in was. Every part of his body not covered by his well-groomed dress attire had scrapes, cuts, and bruises poking through his plume. It was worse than they had imagined; the foliage had done a number on him. Thankfully, though, his trademark dress shirt and shorts were untouched.

“Berd! Man, you look like shit. Ah- Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I meant that you look like you’re in rough shape. Does it still hurt?” They stepped back, inviting the bluebird of misfortune in. 

“Thank you for the not-compliment, K, but I’ll have you know my rugged body is more than strong enough to withstand getting jumped by the underbrush. All of my injuries will simply mature into radical scars to scare kids one day.”

Kris giggled as he walked in. “Yeah, well, anyway, your clothes look nice tonight. Gives you that wounded-in-action soldier vibe.” They closed the door behind him and called out to the kitchen. “MOM! Featherweight’s here!”

“It will be sure to woo your mother’s heart, I’m certain. The ladies love a man in uniform, after all.”

“Tsk tsk. Stolen valor, Berdly. You couldn’t pin me to the floor, much less fight in a war.” Kris led him into the dining room. 

“Could too!” he responded. Kris briefly thought about proving their point and pinning him to the floor; a very appealing image. 

Many sides had already been laid out on the table. It was FAR more than three people could eat, a purposeful touch by their mother. One of her patent-pending friend-making strategies was to overwhelm them with packaged leftovers.

As the two came to their seats, Toriel brought out a steaming hot mushroom roast and a spinach and goat cheese quiche, recipes she had been experimenting with for a bit. They complemented the mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, bread rolls, and homemade apple turnovers already awaiting the three of them. Kris found that most of their mother’s meals ended up being Thanksgiving-adjacent, and this was no different. 

Berdly sat down at his special chair, indicated by the napkin Kris had folded into a swan. Kris and Berdly were sitting on one side, and Toriel was sitting at the head of the table. “Wow, Mrs– Ms. Dreemurr, this looks fantastic! You didn’t have to go through all this trouble. I doubt I’ll be able to finish the delicious-looking food you’ve prepared.”

Toriel sat, giving a mischievous smile. “Oh, what a shame…”

Kris cleared their throat as they sat. “You know, Mom, Berdly cooks. He made me a mean fettuccine alfredo and some French toast that was to die for.”

Toriel gave a smile as she began to serve food to the teens. “Oh, my! I’ll have to get that recipe from you, young man. I’ve always struggled to get the pasta stiffness just right.”

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, Kris is exaggerating. I just throw stuff together now and then for my family.” He perked back up, pointing a finger in the air as an eureka moment. “My true, unexplainable, and enigmatic talents are in academics!”

“Oh? How did your finals go?” She took a sip from her full-to-the-brim wine glass.

“Very well, near perfect. I have only myself to thank, though your child did help me a… minuscule amount.”

Kris wiped their mouth with the napkin they had folded into a heart before responding. “I don’t know, Berdly, you looked pretty stupid before my pep talk…”

He chuckled nervously. “I had indeed been…struggling… to prepare for my finals. I’m afraid some personal conflicts were interfering with my work.”

Now it was Toriel’s turn to look a bit sheepish. “Yes, Alphys told me about you and Kris’s strange behavior. I feel a little silly about the whole debacle now; if I had known how much it would affect you two, I never would have agreed to Sterling– I mean, your father’s demands.”

Berdly paused, processing. “My… father’s?” After a brief pause, he cleared his throat and resumed. “Yes, well, thankfully that’s in the rapidly distancing past. I’ve put an end to my battle of wits with my father… probably, for now….”

Kris felt the need to step in once more, keeping the conversation on track. They needed their mother to see the real Berdly so that stupid Azzy would stop trash-talking him to her. There had only been more voicemails since finals preparation began; Kris had listened to none of them. “Luckily, Berdly has a life outside of school. He’s not all expectations and homework, Mom.”

Berdly perked up, launching into a tangent about all of his interests. Music, writing, and he even tried to explain Gunpla to her (very unsuccessful).  

————————————————————

“... and what are your plans after college?” Kris felt too full to move, and Berdly hadn’t picked up his fork in a while. All the while, the small talk continued. Kris’s mother seemed very interested in the minuscule details of the bird's life. “I would assume a young, motivated man like yourself would already have that all planned out.”

“Yes, of course. I’m planning on attending the University of Minnesota Law School to become a lawyer. My parents have always dreamed of that for me; they believe my glorious speech and rhetorical skills are perfect for that career course. However, they would prefer it if I went somewhere further from home, haha…”

Kris sighed and elbowed Berdly. 

“But…” He hesitantly continued. “...What I would like to do is a bit different. I want to study something called computational complexity theory, which is basically asking, ‘How hard are problems for computers to solve?’ Not just whether they can solve them, but whether they can do it in a reasonable amount of time. Like—imagine a library, some problems are like finding a book with the exact title in the catalog, quick and easy, and others are like someone coming in and saying, ‘I’ll know the book when I see it,’ and you might have to check thousands of books before they nod yes.” 

He leaned forward in his chair, growing his confidence as his passion seeped through his voice.

“The amazing part is, we don’t know if those two situations are secretly the same type of problem—and if they are, it would change almost everything we know about computing, science, even math itself! That question is called P versus NP, and it’s famous, like a holy grail of computer science. And what excites me is the idea of spending my life chasing it, teaching, researching, leaving some kind of mark on how far we can push knowledge itself.”

The table was silent at the end of Berdly’s (autistic) infodump. Toriel looked a bit shocked. His sheepish look returned, and he leaned back to a normal position in his chair. “Um, to make a long story short, I want to study computer science… maybe teach at university, or do studies, or something…”

Kris reached under the table to lay their hand on Berdly’s wing, which was folded in his lap. “He’s pretty smart, I think. Most of what he talks about goes over my head.”

Toriel laughed and picked up her utensils as the three resumed their meal. Toriel grazed on her mashed potatoes, and Berdly took a bite of the delicious-looking apple turnovers (He had just as much of a sweet tooth as Kris did). “Yes, mine too.” She raised her eyebrows as she swallowed a small glazed carrot. “You’ve grown to have better taste than I did, Kris; I wish Asgore had been half as motivated at Berdly’s age.”

Berdly choked on his turnover, turning away and coughing into his napkin. 

Kris felt a blush rise to their face. “ MOM! ” they whispered, staring red daggers at their mother. 

Berdly was still choking as he stood up from the table. It was hard to hear him through his napkin and the sounds of his cough. “Ex–cuse me, –bathroom, sorry.” He walked out of the room quickly, still taking shaky breaths. 

Kris leaned onto the table, turning fully toward their mother. “Mom! Are you serious?”

Toriel put up her hands like she was completely innocent. “What! Did I say something to offend?”

Kris put their head in their hands, exasperated. “He’s my friend, Mom, not my husband! ”

Toriel took another sip of her fourth glass of wine. “Well, maybe not yet, but…”

She winked at Kris. “...you two are close, aren’t you?”

Kris felt the traitorous, traitorous blush heat up on their face. “N-Not like that, jeez mom.”

“Mmhmm.” Toriel took another sip of wine as she leaned back, giving her child a conspiratorial smile. 

Kris rapidly pushed away from the table and dashed away. “Gotta go make sure he’s not dying, whatever…”

————————————————————

Berdly was not in the bathroom, no. Kris heard him snooping around their room from downstairs. He must have gotten curious while they bickered with their mother. 

They spied him through a crack in their door as he crept around the room. He was leaning down as if to take in every detail. It was almost cute to see him toddle around, like a tiger in an enriching enclosure. He looked at Azzy’s awards and the various decorations on their brother’s side of the room. He even inspected the broom that had become a permanent fixture of Kris’s room in the last few weeks. It was only when he made his way over to the covered birdcage that they felt the need to intervene. 

With a smooth and silent motion, they pounced on the bird. Kris had their hips on his stomach, knees to the side of his ribs, holding his wings above his head on the carpeted floor. 

“Look at you, Berdly~ Sure have changed a lot, huh?” He stammered as Kris loomed over him, a devious smile on their face. They were glad he had taken long enough for that stupid blush to disappear from their face. 

“Snooping around my room, smoking, drinking, goofing off in class… Maybe I have been a bad influence on you after all. Seems like perfect, paper-doll Berdly is all used up.”

Berdly looked like he was sweating; Kris could feel the rapid rising and falling of his chest between their legs. He looked like he was scared… or something…

They chuckled nervously and pulled off of him. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you that bad.”

He shot up and straightened his collar, finally speaking now that Kris was not straddling him. “Yes–” His voice cracked in a horrid, awful manner. Kris tried desperately not to laugh;  he was already humiliated. 

He cleared his throat and continued. “Yes, s-sorry, I was just looking for the bathroom up here and stumbled in here.” 

Kris flicked him on the forehead and sat on their bed. “Bathroom’s downstairs, dork. What do you think?”

He took another look around. “It’s pretty cool. Although I am a bit confounded by the broom.”

The truth pulsed in Kris’s throat. “Oh, uh, it’s for sweeping… love to keep things clean, right?”

He chuckled. “Never thought of you as a neat freak.”

“I’ll never be as bad as you. Your room was like a museum, or like a personal collection of all the dumb stuff you’re into.”

He crossed his arms. “You should feel lucky you were able to see the grace and calm of my room. I’ve got perfect feng-shui. Next time, I’ll show you my amazing Gunpla collection.”

Kris tilted their head. “Where do you get that stuff, anyway? No hobby stores in Hometown.”

Berdly sat on the bed with a sigh. “Ms. Alphys got me hooked, the bastard. Now I have to order them online. Aside from my generous need to volunteer for my community, I also work at the Librarby and Church to afford those egregious delivery fees.”

Kris rolled their eyes with a smile. He somehow always made his complaints into jokes.

He took another look around the room. “Oh, also, why does your brother have all those trophies and you have none?”

Kris sighed and flopped back onto the bed. “Azzy did it all: tennis, chessboxing, spelling bees, science fairs. Real golden child, you know? I was never very competitive.”

He giggled. “That must have sucked, living in the literal shadow of a trophy shelf.”

Kris just shrugged. He was probably right. 

“Although you’re pretty cool. I don’t know what you were talking about at dinner, with my computer stuff “going over your head.” Your intelligence nearly matches my own; it’s why we’re such great gaming rivals.”

Kris snapped up. “Oh, man, you’re a genius! Do you wanna help me beat the Doorway 2 co-op mode? I’ve been waiting for someone to play with for a while.”

“Oh, you haven’t played it before?” He perked up. “I would always just open two instances of it and play it by myself, hah.”

Kris punched him in the arm before jumping off the bed. “Weirdo! I’ll pull it up on Azzy’s computer, hold–”

They froze mid-crouch, eyes landing on Azzy’s stack of CDs. The thought came quick and dangerous: "We could make this a real celebration."

They turned back to the nervous bird, a red glint in their eye. “Berdly, what do you think about celebrating the end of the year?”

Berdly stood there like a stick waiting to be blown away by the wind. “Uhm, sure! A victory over paternalism on our scale deserves a reward!” He sheepishly put his hands together over his waist. “What– What did you have in mind?”

Kris scrambled on Asriel’s bed and fished the dusty bottle of Jack from where it had sat for months. They tossed it at Berdly before they could change their mind.

He grinned. “Another drinking game I can destroy you in?”

“Ah, you fuckin’ cheated at Kreature Kart.” Kris landed back on the floor with doglike agility. “What if we blow through the co-op campaign, then do some custom maps? Every death’s a sip.”

He looked up with a giddy face. “Kris, we’re going to be inebriated beyond measure! That’s insane, yes!”

————————————————————

By the time they reached the end of the campaign, they were shitfaced. Kris was realizing that, compared to Berdly, they sucked at basically every game. Even in co-op, they had died way more than him. They were about 10 shots deep, while Berdly had only had 6. It had been a truly embarrassing display, with Berdly having to painstakingly walk them through the last few levels. They had abandoned their plan to race in the game, finding all of the custom maps way too hard for their condition. Instead, they were playing Super Smashing Fighters. 

The pair had both changed out of their daytime outfits by now, even though Berdly hadn’t exactly brought sleepover supplies. Berdly was dressed in Kris’s very old Sailor Moon tank top, depicting one of the magical girl transformations. He had lost a bet about how fast he could complete a puzzle, so on the bottom he was wearing a soft, pink, frilly skirt. It made Kris giggle just thinking about it. They were in their usual sleepwear, their Moldallica 1991 BREAK THE CAGE graphic tee and athletic shorts. 

About half the bottle was gone, but they had stopped drinking competitively, thank the Angel. Any more of Berdly’s ego-drinking, and Kris was pretty certain their room would be stained with mushrooms and apples. Instead, they were just nursing two Jack and Cokes.

In between rounds, Berdly was holding his glass to the glow of the computer. It was pitch black in the room, and they had pulled Azzy’s desk up to the foot of his bed for a comfy sitting position. “It’s maddenimg that you can really taste the fuckin’... honey…”

Kris groaned as they picked up the bottle, topping off their cup. Even though they were much more used to being drunk, they still sucked hard at the games they had played. “Asriel called it the Drink of his People … He said it was for special occasions, for a birthday dinner with the family or something.”

They put it down and turned to Berdly with a smug look. “Well, he’s still trash-talking my friends, so it’s mine now. Nyeh-nyeh, Azzy.”

Berdly looked down at his controller. “Man, that voicemail sucked. Ass.”

“Yeah. Kinda, kinda why I wanted you here tonight. For my mom to see the real you.”

He looked up with a smile. “And what if you don’t see it either, Kris? For all you know, I’ve been using my fan-fuckig-tastic acting skills to fool you this whoooollleee time. One final prank for all those stupid ones you played on me.” 

Kris laughed. “Dude, the spring-loaded snakes killed. You know it as well as I do.”

He grumbled. “Yeah, yeah, ready up. I’ll show you a prank.”

The two played their classic matchup, Ike v. Meta Knight. Kris loved the humans' heavy sword attacks. They would never admit it, but it reminded them of being in the dark world. Berdly only played Meta Knight to piss Kris off (it often worked), he would always say edgelord shit and taunt after every kill. 

Kris was up by a stock, taking advantage of the combination of Berdly not maining MK and being fucked up. They were dribbling him off the floor, chaining a well-practiced combo until they ended the match with two stocks to spare. 

“ PLAYER 2 WINS! ” shouted the monitor. 

“God DAMNIT, man. You were just button-mashing the whole time! Literally no, no skill involved!” He swayed as he dropped the controller onto the bedspread, woozily gesturing at the screen. 

Kris just sat, legs crossed, with a smug smile. “Not to mention, I’m sure you INTENTIONALLY gave me your shitass bootleg controller. I was fighting input lag more than I was fighting you!”

“Berdly, Berdly–” Kris was finding it hard to fight through their drunken giggles. 

“What, don’t tell me I’m wrong! You clearly needed the crutch anyway.”

They leaned back with laughter. “I gave you the real one, man!”

Berdly looked at them with a dumbfounded expression, and then squinted at his controller. “Ok, well–”

“We can switch if you want–”

“NO! That doesn’t– It’s still unfair cuz– You were just…”

He crossed his arms in a drunken pout, turning away from Kris.“ God, he was always so cute—and, and funny too, Kris told themselves, when he was like this. Ragebaiting him was one of the few pure joys Kris got from life. 

They put down their controller and found themselves drunkenly hugging him from behind. They nuzzled into the plume of his upper back before speaking. He was so, so warm. Despite the scrapes that covered most of his body, he felt like a soft down blanket. 

“Berdly~....”

“Krith, leave me.” He was trying to sound authoritative, but he was much too drunk. 

“Let’s do another one.”

“No!”

“I’ll let you win~”

He took a beat to process that before turning his head slightly back towards them, his smug grin returning in full force. “No, you won’t… Cuz I’ll be winning our rematch with tactical skill and precision!”

He turned back to the monitor as the pair picked back up their controllers. “Mhmh.”

“That first round was so I could study your playstyle… Look out, Kris, this time I’m gonna read you like a book!”

————————————————————

Kris had assumed Berdly had just been blowing hot air, but he was really thrashing Kris this time. He was already two stocks up, and Kris was beginning to feel the alcohol soaking through their mother’s meal. 

He was mashing the taunt button as Ike flew off the stage, and Kris found themselves getting increasingly frustrated. They felt like they were dealing with lag in real life, like each finger movement had to fight through molasses. They were drunk. 

Last stock now. Kris threw back the rest of their drink as they respawned, hoping the fire in their throat would wake them up enough to win. Alas, Berdly was just toying with them now. 

Berdly finished it after getting Kris to 300%, nailing them in a nasty combo off the left side of the screen. Kris dropped their controller in frustration as the victory screen displayed Berdly’s Meta Knight skin.

Berdly, on the other hand, was elated. If she had not been wine-drunk, he definitely would have awakened Toriel.

He shot up onto the springy comforter of the bed, doing his signature victory dance. It was half Macarena, half purely shaking his body. He always did this when he won. It sucked.

However…

Despite the crushing nature of their defeat, Kris felt their anger quickly slipping. His flowy outfit was moving with his drunken dancing, and his expression was one of pure, joyous calm. He looked happy in a way he had not in a while. It reminded Kris of the last time they had gotten him drunk, when he had cheated at Kreature Kart. Well, no cheating this time. 

A shy smile subconsciously found its way onto Kris’s face as they looked on. Berdly made them feel a certain way, nothing like when they were hanging with Susie and Noelle. Suz was always so cool, and Noelle always had her life together perfectly, but Berdly was different.

As Berdly gyrated his hips to the beat of the victory theme, Kris thought back through the adventures they had been on with him. Getting Susie and Noelle together, standing up to his parents, doing stupid shit just for fun. They liked Berdly.

A drunken thought was surfacing in their mind as he plopped back down onto the bedspread, high-fiving Kris (even though he was the only one to win).

They liked Berdly… No, they Liked him. Capital L. His cute face, his stupid jokes, his ridiculous pride, his soft, soft feathers… Being around him made Kris feel like they were flying. Hard to put into a “romantic” box when they were this fucked up, but the thought refused to shut up as Berdly giddily grabbed his controller for the next round.

“Alright, Krissy-wissy, time for round 3. Gotta send it home that I will ALWAYS be the King… Of Games…” He seemed to notice that Kris was staring at him. 

Kris clicked the monitor without taking their eyes off the bluebird. Their cheeks were flushed from the sight of him and the booze. “Alright, Nerdly. Let’s see if you can take it. One second, though.” 

Kris stumbled over to their desk and quickly shoved the drawing of Berdly they had done into one of the drawers. Instead, they pulled out a small cassette. They woozily turned back to Berdly, who was watching expectantly from the bed. If they were going to lose, they were going to do it listening to good tunes. 

They popped it in their speaker system. “Susie-” They hiccuped. “Susie specifically instructed me to listen to this with you. Said it really helped her and Noelle, whatevvvver that means…”

————————————————————

It had to be well into the morning by now. Berdly was still somehow destroying Kris even though he was only half paying attention. The soft soul Tunes of Steve E. Blunder, Quirky Bones, and Carvin’ Bay had provided a sweet backing track, but it was round 15, and Kris was losing badly. Berdly looked like he needed sleep, anyway. 

The two had spent the time trying to distract each other. Kris would pin Berdly to the bed, He would tickle them, and so on in a miniature prank war.

The bluebird fell back onto the bed after his 12th consecutive victory. “You suck sooooo much ass at this fuggin’ videogame, Kris… they should make a whole new bracket for you, just to practice against the level 2 AIs."


He rolled onto his side, propping his head up with a smug expression. "I bet I could even beat you up in real life!”

Kris perked up at the thought, sliding off the bed and turning off the computer. “Oh, yeah?”

He shot a drunken thumbs-up. “Fuck yeah! I’m a macho, macho man, Kris…. Didn’t you know that?”

Kris pushed the litter from their plastic cups and snacks to the sides of the room. “Berd, you’re wearing a skirt.”

“Macho men can wear skirts! It’s a skirt of power! A skirt of bravery and integrity!”

“Oh yeah?" They shook off the haze clouding their thoughts.  "Have you ever heard of 30s?” 

Berdly slowly sat up, rubbing his temples. “Dhefuck is a 30?”

Kris crouched down into a wrestling position. “30-second wrestling match. Winner takes all. My brother does them all the time with his frat.”

“Ohhh… I see, Kris… a physical challenge!” He slid off the bed with a cheesy, sarcastic grin. The music was changing.  “My ultra-rare man strength will prevail over your weak, androgynous soul!”

Kris couldn't tell if that was a bit transphobic or gender affirming; either way, it only fueled their hunger. They were gonna tear him apart. “Yeah, yeah."


"5, 4…”

Berdly crouched down in a much woozier version of Kris’s pose, steeling himself for the fearsome battle. 

“ 321! ” Kris yelled, charging the bluebird. He looked suprised as Kris tackled him, hoisting him up over their shoulder. He was shockingly light, and Kris was thankful for the years of fighting they had had with Asriel. 

“OUGH- OOF!” Kris slammed him down on their bed, jumping up and pinning him just like they had when they caught him sneaking around. Their hips were on his lower stomach, thighs holding his chest in place, and they were leaning down. The human's forearms were pinning his biceps as they stared at him with hungry eyes. 

Despite it all, his bravery was not shaken. One of his best qualities. 

“Say ‘Uncle!”

“No!”

“Say ‘I’m a little bitch and I got body slammed by Kris!”

“Fuggin, definitely not!”

“Say–”

“Ah, what are you gonna do, anyway! You won't! Execute me, Kris!” He strained his neck, getting back up in their face and taunting him. 

Kris's drunken, intrusive thoughts told them to bite into his neck, or at least leave a mark or something; thankfully, they controlled themselves. Recently, the thought of hurting him beyond silly pranks made their stomach do flips. Part of them wanted to laugh at him, part of them wanted to melt into the softness of his feathers, and part of them… oh, Angel…

As they had been planning and fighting, the cassette had switched sides. It was playing a much, much different tune now.

It was Bill Simmers, another soul artist Susie loved, but his song was a lot different than the stuff that had been on the rest of the mixtape. As Kris stared at the defiant and free bird, the lyrics rang out.

“Come into my life…

Let me love you.

Come share your love with me, 

and I’ll share my love with you…

Love was made for us.

So we have a lot to discuss…”

The woman’s singing voice was sultry and smooth, and the whole groove of the track was low and slow. It was the kind of song that made chaperones nervous, and Kris was starting to see why. Their heart was racing. It dawned on them that this probably wasn't a game anymore.

Berdly, however, was still tauntingly indignant. “C’mon, Kris, do it! Just hit me, or hurt me, or prove you’ve won! Oh wait, I forgot you were too much of a bad-gamer wimp!”

Kris felt a warm smile spread across their face. The annoyance of his taunting was being carried away by a rising, drunken cloud. Their voice came out as soft as his feathers. “Berd…”

They picked themselves up, no longer pinning his arms to the bed. Sitting up straight, they towered over him. Kris smoothed the feathers that had been ruffled, feeling the rough scabs underneath. So, so many wounds, deeper than just falling down the hill. God, how had he lived like this? With those god-awful parents?

With one hand, they traced their finger along the ridge of his shoulder, cupping his chin below his beak. How awful it must have been, to wake up from his parental imprisonment. How brave he must be, rejecting everything he's ever known. 

“I-I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t.”

They felt the alcohol surge to their lips and tongue as they mustered their bravery. Angel, they should have had a bit more. “Do-"

"Do you know- how cute you are?”

Under his fogged-up and crooked glasses, Berdly's eyes were bugging out of their sockets. Clearly, this was the last thing he was expecting. His whole head was rearing away into the pillows; his liquid courage failed him, and he had no response.

Now it was the alcohol pulling the words out of Kris. They weren’t sure they would ever say this stuff sober.

“There’s just… something… I can’t think of a time when I’ve enjoyed myself more than I’ve enjoyed tonight…" They leaned down, watching as their breath waved in the feathers of his face. "I care about you, Berd, more than you know...”

The song returned from its instrumental, going into the second verse. The woman’s voice was even softer this time, whispering through the steamy air of the room. 

“I’ll be true to you,

Ooooh, if only you’ll be true to me…

Oooh, I don’t play no games….

I know that you’ll do the same~

Come into my life,

Let’s make love tonight…”

The woman's voice rose in a passionate crescendo. Kris could feel their blood pounding. They stared down at the bird, unable to break their gaze. 

“‘Cause I just wanna be loved by you,

I just wanna be loved by you!”

With shivering fingers, they leaned down and supported themselves on the bed. At that moment, they wanted nothing more than to collapse into his embrace. “Can… can I…?”

As if pulled by some unseen magnetic force, they leaned their head down and kissed him on the cheek, right where a branch had scraped across his face. Berdly let out a soft gasp. Kris held his right cheek, smothered themselves in his feathers, and wondered if this was what heaven was like.

“K– Kris…”

They pulled away for a moment, heavy breath hot on his cheek. "S-Should I stop?”

He squirmed before he answered, like he was trying to wedge himself deeper into their grasp. 

He barely squeaked out a response. “No…”

Kris leaned back down, shifting their body to where they were almost lying on top of him. 

“My poor, poor Berd.”

With arms wrapped around his back, they continued to plant kisses on every scratch, bump, bruise, and scab they could fine; ravenously attempting to take away his pain. Angel, how much he had hurt? How much pain had he been through?

————————————————————

Berdly was wondering if this was what heaven would feel like. Kris was holding him tightly, planting butterfly kisses on each and every one of his injuries. Their face was buried in his feathers, body pressed close to his. He had never felt anything like this before. 

Tentatively, he reached up to wrap his wings around them, feeling their beating warmth weighing on his chest. Until he had been tackled, everything had felt quite fuzzy and indistinct while he was drunk. Like he was in a sensory deprivation tank of whiskey. Now, though, every motion and sensation was crystal clear. 

Kris left no stone unturned as Berdly drifted off, completely in bliss. They pulled down his shirt to kiss his collarbone and the tops of his pecs, they turned his head to reach the sides and back of his neck, and they rubbed their fingers obsessively over the marks on his back. 

Songs came and went as Berdly bathed in euphoria. Eventually, Kris turned back to just kissing his face, feeling his cheeks a few dozen times before finally, tragically pulling away. Their voice was so soft and small, like they were truly afraid of asking. 

“...can I sleep here tonight? With you?”

Berdly nodded as fast as his inebriation would allow. 

Kris smiled through the darkness and fully lay down, head nestled in the crook of his neck. No blanket was needed– the two were warmed by the other’s heat. As he was falling asleep, a thought crossed his mind. Berdly realized he had forgotten something important.

He whispered into the pitch black room, slowly moving his wings to stroke Kris’s hair.

“You…” He choked on the words. “...sounded amazing at the organ.”

Kris gave a soft giggle. “Thanks, Berdly.”

“You…” Take two. “...were never hurting me.”

They nuzzled into his plume, humming in agreement.

“You're…” He mustered what dignity he had left. “You’re beautiful, Kris. I like you…”

Kris’s breath hitched, the slow rhythm of their chest stopping. 

“...a lot.”

They held him tight enough to strangle, like a sailor adrift at sea holds a life saver. Their whole form crumpled onto his, fitting in with his body like a puzzle finally completed. Though muffled, he thought he heard a “ Me too…” before he finally succumbed to sleep.

Chapter Text

Berdly awoke as soft beams of the sun rested on his face. He felt cold, as if something was missing. He was paralyzed from a splitting headache, and he stared at the ceiling, collecting his thoughts.

He hadn’t blacked out. Something had happened the night before. He remembered the dinner, the gaming, the Super Smashing Fighters and whooping Kris’s ass, and… 

Well, he wasn’t sure about the rest.

He remembered wrestling with Kris, getting suplexed…

…but he must have gotten knocked out or nodded off or something, because the next thing he remembered was… it was impossible. There’s no way it could have ever happened.

Anyway, he could hear someone softly moving around the room. With some effort, he turned his head to see Kris, picking up thrown pillows and controllers, putting up the half-empty bottle; tidying up the area. Their head was low, they seemed to be as hungover as he was. 

“Morning,” he croaked. Kris stiffly stopped at the sound of his voice, turning towards him and moving to sit on the bed. They stared at the bedsheets.

“Sleep well?” they responded. their voice was as hoarse as Berdly's.

He didn’t need to look at his sleep metrics to know. “As well as one can after that much whiskey.”

He thought he saw them smile through their bangs. 

“I’ve been up for a while,” they said. “Making sure my mom doesn’t throw a fit when she sees the room.”

They turned back towards him, curtain-like hair swinging with the motion of their head. “Don’t think she’ll care that you’re here.”

With some effort, he pushed himself against the bedframe and chuckled. “Yeah, sorry to be such a burden. I think the booze got away from me last night.” He thought about launching into a tirade about alcohol’s effect on the body, but he was feeling much too awful for intelligent smugness.

Kris looked at the floor and mumbled out something; Berdly didn’t catch it. 

They hopped off the bed and grabbed a bundle of clothes. He felt the pile be shoved into his lap as the human spedwalked towards the door. They lingered in the entryway, meeting his eyes for the first time that morning and looking him up and down. “Get changed, gonna grab breakfast,” they mumbled, and rushed out of the room.

————————————————————

Berdly had tried to leave, he had really tried. He wanted to go back home, take a shower, maybe make some tea, and try and parse through what exactly had happened the night before. But Kris always made it very hard to leave them.

They invited him to a meal of “Omelete Roulette,” a game they apparently loved to play with Susie whenever she slept over. Well, Susie had an iron stomach, she could probably eat chalk if she wanted to. Berdly did not, but it sounded too fun to pass up. 

They had made 2 dozen tiny little omelets, with everything from ham cubes, to pickles, to marshmallows, to hot dogs and leftover fries in them. They would take turns picking and eating; Berdly found most of them weren’t even that bad. Who knew an anchovy omelet could be so good?

After breakfast, he had tried to leave one more time, but Kris invited him to something so juicy he couldn’t ignore. Helping out with Susie’s promposal. 

And now, here he was, crouched in the bushes with Susie and Kris. It was just like the first time Suz had asked out Noelle, back at the church. Angel, that felt like ages ago now. All three of them pressed up against each other, with Kris sandwiched in the middle. Berdly couldn’t help but notice them accidentally leaning into him much more than Susie. Coincidence, he was sure, but didn’t help his weird dream memories from popping up. 

They were camped out on Noelle’s driveway like 3 creepy stalkers. Berdly was still unsure of exactly what his role was in this whole operation, but anticipation was killing him. He was–

Oh, here she comes.

Noelle was walking down the driveway and checking her phone. 

“I texted her I put sum’ in her mailbox,” Susie whispered.

Berdly was intrigued. “What, like a card? Like one of those talking–”

Berdly was cut off when Noelle opened her mailbox.

A sound like a gunshot went off, and Noelle yelped. She was instantly engulfed in a haze of purple and orange smoke pouring from the small metal box.

“IT WORKED!” Susie shook the pair of them, before freezing and craning her neck out.  “Oh, shit, that’s a lot of smoke, oh shit–” Susie leapt out of the bush and dashed towards the lesbian cloud, calling Noelle’s name. 

“That’s our cue, Nerdly. Up and attem!” Kris stood up from the bush, pulling out a large posterboard and handing the other side to Berdly. They ran to the edge of the smoke. The large canvas read “YOU SET MY HEART ON FIRE; TIME FOR ME TO RETURN THE FAVOR! PROM????” in Susie’s god-awful handwriting. 

Eventually, the deer and the lizard emerged from the smoke. Noellle was covered from head to toe in soot, and her mailbox was on fire, but she didn’t seem to mind that much. She was laughing and blushing as Susie carried her bridal style to safety, putting her down in front of the sign.

She turned toward Kris and Berdly, a goofy smile on her face. “You guys! You didn’t have to do all this, did you help Susie?” She bent down, taking in the glittery details of the posterboard. 

Kris smiled through their hair. “Nah, this is from me. I’m fighting Susie for your love.” Noelle giggled at the joke and sidled up to her girlfriend, but Berdly didn’t laugh. Probably for no reason.

The lovebirds went off to analyze the wreckage of the postbox, and Berdly and Kris were left alone in the smouldering driveway. Kris set down the message and leaned on it, turning to Berd. 

“So, whaddya think?”

“Of what?”

“Y’know.” They jerked their head behind their shoulder. “Then lovebirds.”

Berdly pushed up his fogged glasses. “Ah, yes. Well, they’re quite cute! Good to see that Susie kept her signature car-crash romance style.”

That got a chuckle out of Kris. “Yeah, no kidding. I had to bully shit out of her to get her to ask her out in the first place.”

“You know, Kris, love is merely a chemical reaction. Dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine, all swirling about in a hot little soup inside your skull. It would have been easier to mix Susie’s juice with hormones than to bully her.”

“Have you– have you done that before? Like, made a love potion?”

He took a step back at the spiking allegations. “Heavens, no.”

Kris looked upwards, to the sparse, fluffy plume of clouds and the light blue sky. “I think I’ll do it, if things don’t work out. Sounds fun.” They looked back down. Their voice hitched, like they were nervous, or something. He wasn't used to hearing them like this. “So, what, I guess you don’t need a love potion, right? You got some ki- kinda E-girlfriend you never told us about?”

When he was much younger, he had a humiliating habit of asking out people over the Minecrap voice chat, but he had thankfully never succeeded. “No, my romantic talents are as of yet wasted on the women of this world.”

Kris squinted their eyes for a moment, analyzing his face.

“You aren’t gay?”

That caught Berdly off guard. “W-What?”

They burst out laughing. “Pulling your leg, man. Although, you know, when you had that weird thing for Noelle, she thought it was because you were trying to throw us off the trail to the closet, if you get what I'm saying.”

Since hanging out with Kris more, Berdly had come to realize he was probably pan, but that was a conversation he was not ready to have. Certainly not with Kris, certainly not after last night. “Y-yeah, whatever. What about you? You gonna make out with Jockington at prom or something?”

Kris, who had been recovering, doubled over with laughter. “Oh man, oh man, that would be awesome. Can– Can you imagine the look on Catti’s face?” They wiped a tear from their eyes. “But, no, seriously, I’m not going with anyone. Are…”

They hesitated, as if they had caught themselves off guard with the question. “Um, are you?”

“Uh… No, I was probably just gonna play third wheel with Susie and Noelle.”

They relaxed. “Oh, good, that was my plan too.”

Kris picked up the posterboard, and began to walk up, back towards their house. Before leaving a very confused Berdly, they shouted over their shoulder, “Then it’s settled. We’ll go together.”

Time seemed to slow as Berdly froze, thoughts spiralling.

“Together. They said we’d go “together.” Together as in, side-by-side, platonic compatriots, comrades-in-arms against the cruel chaperones and the sticky punch bowl? Or… together as in… together?

I can’t just assume. No, no, that would be catastrophic, egotistical. They laugh with me, they tease me, but that doesn’t mean—oh heavens. The tone. The inflection. They shouted it over their shoulder! Hardly the cadence of a confession. Yet… what the hell was the deal with that dream I had?

Do they—could they—do they like me? Was that heavenly display of love last night actually reality? No. Impossible. Unlikely. Gah! If only human hearts ran on algorithms instead of… whatever this is. Whatever Kris is doing to me.

Dear god... I don’t even have any dress clothes!”

————————————————————

Berdly stared at himself in the tall mirror. All he had done was put on a suit, but he was out of breath. He hadn’t felt this stressed since finals. 

“I- I’m just not sure, Noelle. Isn’t this a bit too much for a high school prom?”

Noelle was sitting on his parent’s pillowy bed, head tilted as she studied the bird in the mirror. 

“Oh, it’s definitely overkill. But honestly, you look good in it. It’s probably the nicest suit I’ve ever seen.”

He did a quarter turn, nervously staring at himself. “It was a gift to my father after some huge deal, from one of his client company’s Vice President of Mergers and Acquisitions. He’s never worn it, though.”

It made him a little queasy to look at. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was really nervous about not impressing / doing too much for Kris, or because it reminded him so much of his father. He really did not want Kris to associate Berdly with him.

It was a really nice suit, though, with all sorts of silky textures that made it strangely comfortable. 

The jacket and trousers were made of fine worsted wool, a charcoal grey pinstripe ensemble. The top had 80’s style slightly padded shoulders, the kind that made Berdly think of those coked-up bankers that his parents would sometimes have over for dinner. The shirt was a pale, pale blue with an impossibly high thread count; complete with pearl buttons and fancy gold cufflinks. The tie was a deep burgundy with geometric patterns, like the ones Kris always doodled in class. Noelle said the color nicely accented his bright blue plume; the same plume that Kris may or may not have been burying their face in a few days ago.

He still hadn’t told Noelle about his dream(?). Just like the one that he had so, so long ago in the cyber world, it had not faded from his mind. He found himself revisiting the memory every night as he drifted off to sleep, soaking in that feeling of being truly known. Truly loved. 

No time to think about that now. Prom prep was in full swing.

“Noelle, uh, what are you wearing? To the dance?” He closed the closet, folding the mirror away.

Noelle smiled and pulled out her phone to show outfit inspo.  “I got this cute little pastel dress from the mall, and a matching tie for Susie. I think it’s gonna look really cute!”

He sat on the bed, careful not to wrinkle the expensive suit. “And, uh, what’s she wearing?”

“Oh, you know her, she pretends to hate these kinda things. All black, with a button up and these pinstripe trousers her father left her. As emo as possible, to indicate she doesn’t care. Still looks good, though, like a ‘20s mafia guy or something. Butch.”

He twiddled his thumbs, avoiding the question he so desperately wanted to ask. “And, you two are both pretty serious, right?”

Noelle giggled. “Yeah, silly. I’d say so.”

“And you’d say that dressing up for each other, that indicates some, uh- some level of care for one another?”

She turned toward him. “Not really sure what you mean, Berd.”

“Well, you know–” He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. 

“In recent times, I have found myself engaged in an ongoing dialectic within my own mind concerning the precise categorization and ontological status of my association with our most esteemed compatriot, Kris. You will perhaps recall, or at least not fail to be aware, that they invited me to our upcoming formal dance, “prom-posed,” to use modern words. Yet the exuberant levity, indeed the jocular, almost parodic tenor of their invitation has introduced into my interpretive framework a rather vexing ambiguity regarding their authentic affective disposition toward me. Is it fraternal; platonic in the most unadorned sense—or, conceivably, does it incline toward a more ardent, romantic register? Indeed, I have even found myself dreaming of them as the question has haun–”

Noelle grabbed him on the shoulder and shook him out of his anxiety-fuelled nerd rant. “Berd! I can’t follow you when you talk like that, come on! Are you– Are you asking if Kris likes you? Like, like-likes?”

Berdly pushed up his glasses and stared at the floor.

Noelle laughed and punched him in the shoulder. “Berd, you know I can read them just as well as you can. You’d probably know better, with all the time you two’ve been spending together! Why don’t you just ask them?”

Berdly’s head snapped up in shock. “Just ask them? Just ask them? I would sooner leap off the rail bridge! Are you insane?”

“Oh come on, Berd. They only bite people they don’t like, so you’re in the clear.”

“Jeez, Noelle, why didn’t you just ask Susie if she liked you when you had that massive crush on her? It’s so simple, right?”

“That’s diff-”

“Me and Kris had to do that whole ridiculous scheme to get Susie to ask you out, because we knew you would never take the initiative on your own! Chalk that up to our combined romantic brilliance!”

Noelle gave a sly smile. “You know, Susie thinks Kris only did it to get to know you better. Looks like it worked, huh? What was that about dreaming?”

Berdly shot up and walked over to his dresser, a blush rising on his face. “Alright, you’re no help at all.”

Noelle sat up and followed. “Seriously, what’s the issue? They asked you out, right?’

Berdly slipped off his tie, avoiding her gaze. “All they said was ‘We’ll go together.’ Like, that’s all they said!”

“Hm. Yeah, that sounds about right for Kris. I don’t know, there has to be something else that’s happened recently that could give you a clue, right? How did that dinner you had with Ms. Dreemurr go?”

Berdly would much rather die than talk about that night with Noelle; he was convinced the drama of it would kill her on the spot. “It was– Normal. Extremely normal. Average in every way, yeah, nothing of note that would give me insight into the inner machinations of Kris.”

“Uhhhh… Ok, Berdly. You don’t have to tell me if you like, accidentally broke their TV or something, faha.”

“No, I didn’t– Look, that’s not the point, Noelle.” He sighed as he took out the fancy pocket square, and turned back around.

“I– I might be into them, alright Noelle? I know that’s what you’ve been waiting to hear with bated breath, so there. Perhaps my feelings for them are a bit deeper than platonic. And it’s like they’re deliberately trying to make it hard to tell what’s going on with them!”

He sat back down on the bed, in defeat. “At the dinner, their mom made this stupid joke about the two of us, and they looked… They looked humiliated, Noelle. Like the thought of being with me, in that way, was disgusting.”

Noelle sat next to him, hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. His voice was weak now. “Just wish I was better at reading them, you know? I don’t want to– Well…”

He chuckled. “I don’t want to weird them out the way I weirded you out, y’know? All that time, all that stupid flirting… I can’t lose the friendship we have right now, Noelle.”

She squeezed his shoulder. “You’ve changed a lot, Nerdly.”

The pair sat in silence as he started to undo the choking buttons of the dress shirt. 

Eventually, Noelle spoke up once more, soft and somewhat tender as he changed out of his father’s attire. “You know… if Susie was here, I bet she’d tell you to ‘play it by ear,’ or something like that. She gives pretty good advice.”

Berdly chuckled at the thought, his mood lightening. “She’d say it a hell of a lot louder than you, that’s for sure.”

————————————————————

Susie admired Kris in the mirror. The two were packed in like sardines in the mall dressing room, but she couldn't help but feel that there was a spotlight on Kris. For a weirdo, they could look pretty glamorous. 

Susie laughed. “This is the one, huh? Only took two hours of shopping to find.”

Kris turned to admire the clothing, a deep red strapless sheath dress. It had a pencil skirt bottom, with a patterned thigh slit. Susie wasn’t into Kris, but if looks could kill, this one would. The silky fabric fit very well to their body, the kinda thing Nerdly probably dreamed about on the daily.

Instead of replying, they slipped on the rest of the outfit: a black, silk suit jacket and opera gloves that matched the dress. It wasn’t exactly very androgynous, but after 4 hours of trying on clothes, Susie had come to understand that an outfit that was formal, hot, and truly androgynous was essentially mythical. 

“You’re sure this isn’t too much for some guy? I’m gonna laugh so fucking hard if Berd shows up in that shirt with the fake suit printed on it.”

Kris continued to turn in the mirror, taking it in. They responded in a soft voice. “He’s not just some guy.”

Susie had mostly stopped thinking that Berdly and Kris would get together. They had gotten close, yeah, really close; but it seemed that neither was able to take it the next step. Plus, it wasn’t right to hold out hope like some fanfiction writer, so she had stopped making fun of Kris about it. Even if the two of them were pretty cute. 

“Oh, yeah? Whaddya mean?” Susie could think of 10 billion ways to jab at them, but held her tongue. 

“He’s just–” Kris huffed and sat down on the bench, staring at the floor. “Nevermind.”

Susie leaned up against the door and crossed her arms. “Lay it on me, weirdo. What’s wrong?”

“I messed up, Susie. Big time.”

“What, did you insult his toy collection or something?”

They held their breath for a long time, shoulders hunched. “I- The night before your promposal–”

The tension flowed out of them as they hurriedly spoke. “We got really drunk and made out.”

Susie’s jaw dropped. “What?!”

“It’s just– We were playing games, and he bet he could beat me in a fight, so we started wrestling and I pinned him–”

“What???”

“And he started being all cute and stubborn and I just couldn’t help myself, Suz! I told him he was cute and I just started kissing him–”

“WHAT??”

“And he told me he liked me but we were both so, so fucking drunk and now I don’t know what to do, man…”

By the end of their confession, Kris had deflated like a balloon. Their spine resembled a croissant as they hunched over the discarded hangers that littered the floor.

“How– How the hell is this the first time I’m hearing this? My promposal was like a week ago!”

They looked up with those stupid puppy eyes they always had. “I haven’t told anyone, Suz! He hasn’t even brought it up!”

Susie shook her head and laughed. “Dude, you two gotta be the worst communicators in the world.”

Kris shot up with a huff. “Alright, but what if he’s just like, pretending it never happened? What if he woke up and thought about it, and realized that like, he doesn’t actually like me? He was just drunk?”

Susie rolled her eyes; it was somewhat hard to believe this was still going on. For a moment, she thought back to her and Noelle getting together. Had they been this insufferable about it? “Dude, he’s going with you, isn’t he? Just sounds like you guys are both too pussy to kiss sober. Just pull him on the dance floor, and just start….” Susie meshed her fingers together. “Y’know?”

 Kris’s face flushed red. “Susie!”

“All I’m saying is that you’re both making this WAY too complicated. It’s not the end of the world, man.”

Kris shot up from their bench and wavedashed over to Susie. Their outfit, so elegant only a moment ago, was wrinkled up in agony. Kris was holding her against the wall with the soft, silky opera gloves, and their left eye was twitching with a red rage. 

“Susie. You don’t fucking get it. Every day since then, it’s– He’s all that’s on my mind. I started watching Mobile Suit Gundam just so I can talk about it with him. I write haikus now. I put his fucking violin recital on my calendar. If I go up on the dance floor and make a fool out of myself, it’ll be me moving out of town, not him.”

“He plays violin?”

Kris gritted their teeth and pushed Susie further up on the wall; she hadn’t realized just how strong they were. “Not the point.”

They let go and pulled back, rubbing their temples. “Susie, I can’t do it anymore. I–”

They stopped for a moment, like a flash of inspiration had overcome them. With a turn, they flashed the puppy eyes once more. “Can you wingman for me?”

“ME?! C’mon man, get Noelle to do it! She knows Berd so much better than me, I dunno how to like, pull his strings or whatever.”

“Susie, come on! I love Noelle, but she’s gonna want us to do something super cliche or…. Or super romantic, or whatever. You know her!”

Susie looked down at the human. “Romantic. Isn’t that, like the point?”

“Please. I need someone who can be chill about it, I will not make a fool out of myself.”

“Dude, if there was a weirdness ranking in our school, you would occupy spots one through 20.”

“That’s different! I– I don’t give a fuck if Snowy or Monster Kid think I’m a freak, man. I–.”

Kris looked back down at the floor. “Listen, this is gonna sound stupid, but I need someone to make sure I’m not… y’know, pushing him… like, hurting hi–”

Susie let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes as hard as she possibly could. “Angel, this again? How many times do we have to go–”

“Susie!” Their ruby eyes were piercing right through her. Tears were forming at the edges.

And all of a sudden, Susie felt the annoyance flow away. 

“Jeez, fine.” Susie smiled softly; she was silently a bit pleased Kris was trusting her with such an important mission. “If it’ll get us out of this stupid mall, I’ll do it.”

Kris let out a relieved sigh, and grabbed the hangers to change out of the dress. “Thank god, fuck.”

Chapter Text

The drop-off area in front of the school was loud but Berdly still managed to yell “Thanks again, Mr. Holiday!” over the crowd. He stepped out of Rudy’s car with Noelle and Susie. The auditorium doors were all open, and dance music was pouring out as excited teens poured in. It was a far cry from the diner he had just been at with Noelle and Susie. The homely dinner had well prepared him for… whatever the hell the dance would entail. 

Mr. Holiday leaned over the passenger seat to yell out the closing door. “Have fun! Not too much!”

The three of them were a pretty nice looking bunch. Susie and Noelle were matching perfectly; with Susie’s pastel tie shouting out of her black, mafia-esque dress clothes and black ribbons accentuating Noelle’s blond hair. Berdly still hadn’t seen Kris’s outfit, he was selfishly kicking himself for not trying to coordinate. It probably didn’t matter anyway. If they weren’t a couple why would they coordinate? The suit he was wearing was much less comfortable than he remembered; his father commenting that he looked like a “Proper Man” before he left had not helped in the slightest.

He began to walk into the school with the happy couple, lagging a bit behind. Even though he had joked about third wheeling them, he would hate to interrupt their night with his drama. 

And speaking of said drama, he felt a firm hand on his padded shoulder.

“Berd! Hey, I– almost missed you, haha.”

Berdly spun around, and the noise of the school seemed to fade into the back of his mind. His mouth fell open as he looked at Kris.

Over the last week, he had tried so hard to repress romantic notions that had been meandering around his mind. He had sworn tonight would just be about having fun with his friends. No melodrama, no pining, no angling to get with them. Kris had been very friendly and not clearly romantic, so he figured it was best to not let his fantasies get in the way of an evening with his pals. 

But then Kris had to show up like this, and those notions were re-emerging. Never, never before in his life had he seen someone look so elegant, so glamorous and yet so unique. Silk over their entire body, the sharp cut of a suit jacket on their shoulders, such a profound fashion whiplash from their usual leisurely outfits. The contrast should’ve been strange; silk and gloves paired with a tailored jacket. But on Kris it looked seamless, like they’d invented their own kind of elegance.

They looked like the only other humans Berdly had ever seen, actors. Actors on the red carpet, draped in classic dresswear and looking oh-so-unattainable. But Kris wasn’t unattainable; they weren’t behind a silver screen. They were right here, looking at Berdly, touching Berdly. They weren’t just playing glamorous. They looked sharp and composed, with the jacket framing them like they belonged on a magazine cover. It was a difficult task to be starstruck by a childhood friend, but Berdly could already feel a blush rising before he even opened his beak. 

Dimly, he realized Kris was still speaking to him.

“-sorry I missed the dinner, I know I said I’d be there. Azzy got home a day early, and I wanted to see him, and, y’know. Chew him out.”

Still only half-aware, he thought back to their evening on the bridge, their night at the church. How broken Kris had looked, how shattered. Out of survival, he had learned how to read their face well; and behind the blood red lipstick, there were still cracks in the smile. But instead of shame and self loathing, it was different. Nerves. Hope. A remarkable development over the last few weeks, changing as the two of them had grown ever closer. He probably wasn’t as good at reading Kris with the makeup on– Them, nervous to talk to HIM? Must be some kind of apprehension towards “giving the wrong idea,” or something. But, deep down, deep in that romantic, unrealistic and desperate part of his brain, he thought that perhaps that they were as afraid of messing it up as he was.

The silence had stretched pretty long now.

“B–Berdly? You alright?”

He blinked and pulled himself out of his somewhat absorbed and ogling internal monologue. He had the feeling he had been staring at their lips for much too long. 

“Yeah, I’m—uh—good. Totally good. Just, you know, storing up energy for my… bustalicious moves on the dance floor. You look–” He cut off before he accidentally embarrassed himself.

Kris giggled and moved closer, holding his tie. Their fingers traced over it like they belonged on ivory keys. The opera gloves looked like they cost thousands, the same caliber as his father’s suit. On the warm winds of early summer, he caught the scent of their apple-scented perfume. He felt himself starting to sweat.

“I like this suit…” They moved the tie, straightening it up against his neck. It was tight enough to choke him, if he had not already been choking himself with nerves. “...um, where’d you get it? Looks really expensive.”

He looked down, noticing just how well the crimson of their dress, their gloves, their pocket square and their lipstick matched the burgundy of his tie. Helluva coincidence. Like a sign from beyond. 

“Uh, not sure. It was a gift– Nicest suit I could find, but I’m not so sure about it. I feel like– It makes me look like my dad.”

Kris looked up, face only inches away from his. All around him, people were passing by into the school auditorium, but the only thing on his mind was that drunken, heavenly dream he had. 

“Look like your dad? Well, the suit is…” They cut themselves off, backing off with a slight smile. He couldn’t tell if it was their makeup, or if they actually had a slight blush. “You don’t look like your dad, you look like Berdly.”

Of all people to say it, it had to be Kris. His father’s voice had been everpresent as he prepared for the dance. “Stand straighter. Parents from Mt. Ebbott will be there– people who actually matter, people I’ve worked with. Don’t embarrass me.” 

It was a sweet, personal compliment; he wanted to say something, anything to pay it back. Ask where they got that amazing outfit, compliment their vibrant makeup, or just reach out and kiss them for Angel’s sake…

…but nothing came out.

After a moment, they cleared their throat. “Well, let’s go in, huh? Don’t want Susie and Noelle to think we’re being weird out here.” They passed by him, leading him into the school, but he found he was still frozen in awe for a few more moments. 

He had never seen anyone so magnificent in his life. He wondered if he might pass out tonight; just looking at them made him a bit lightheaded. 

————————————————————

The line for the photobooth had been almost empty, a fact that Berdly found astonishing. He was pinned up against the wall of the small stall by Susie, with Noelle on the lizard's lap. It was the hardest he had laughed in a while. 

Susie was holding Noelle up in the air, ducking her head down to avoid the camera with a stupid grin on her face. Noelle, cramped in the top corner of the frame, was holding a cheesy homemade Santa picture on a popsicle stick to her face, and making vague wizard gestures with her hand. Berdly, crammed in the corner with an oven mitt on one hand, was doing his best impression of a snowman. 

Susie brought down Noelle into bridal and greedily yanked the photos out as soon as they finished printing. She rocked back, howling with laughter.

“Oh, shit man, why do we even have these things? Middle of summer! What was the theme of this party anyway??”

Noelle sat back down between Susie and Berdly and rooted through the bin of props on the floor. “It’s supposedly old hollywood, but all of the props are always donated by Mrs. Boom and– um, my mom, faha.”

Berdly spoke up. “That explains the Halloween stuff. Mrs. Boom, for some senile reason, loves to teach the preschoolers about the holiday with stick puppets. Not sure what it even has to do with Sunday School, hah.” The box had a chance few bootleg, cheap tophat and monocle props; but the vast majority were holiday themed.

Susie dove in next to Noelle, running her fingers through the popsicle sticks like buried treasure. “Holy SHIT! This is a gold mine, Elle! We raid Alphys for glue, you can make me into a horrific puppet-amalgamation for halloween!”

Berdly leaned back as much as the space would allow. “Wow, Susie. 5 months away, already plotting ahead, huh? Noelle must be rubbing off.”

She pulled her head out of the box with clenched fists and fire in her eyes. “Berdly, if Jockington and Catti win the couples costume contest again, I’m gonna light the judge’s houses on fire. How many times can they go as a basketball player and hoop?!”

Noelle grabbed the half dozen photo strip memories they had made, and nudged the three of them out of the photobooth. “You got any idea what you’re going as, Berd? I know you like to plan out that nerd stuff.”

“Oh, I’m going as a Mad Scientist! I’ve no idea why I didn’t think of it sooner: what other costume could possibly encapsulate both my towering intellect? The lab coat, the goggles, the fake blood and acid—every detail screams visionary! Everyone else will be throwing on some fangs or cat ears, but I’ll be embodying the misunderstood genius archetype! You know, the Victor Frankenstein type. Honestly, it’s perfect for me. And if people laugh? Well—that just proves they are the fools!” He punctuated with a wimpy evil laugh. It would need some work before halloween (and maybe some training from Susie.)

Susie snickered. “Sounds about right for you, Nerdbrain. Plus, Kris can be your Frankenstein!”

As usual with Suz, Berdly’s carefully practiced confidence was shattered in an instant. He didn’t even think to correct her. “Uh—yeah, sure… I mean, haha, that’d be, um—well, I don’t know… I guess, you know… Anyway—where is Kris? They’d, uh… probably have loved the vampire fangs, right?”

Susie snickered again and looked down at the dapper bluebird. “What, you got some experience with– OOF!” Noelle elbowed her in the stomach with a nasty side eye.

“I mean, uh– Good point, Nerdly. Where is the little shit, anyway?” She stood up on her toes and looked around. “So many fuckin’ kids from Mt. Ebott high. Why are they dancing in our fuckin’ gymnasium? Don’t they have like, triple our student body?”

There were monsters of all shapes and sizes on the lacquered dance floor, but no humans. Berdly knew there were other humans out there, there had to be. Kris every now and then mentioned their cousins, Frisk and Chara, who went to the same school as Azzy. Idly, he wondered if they might have a better grasp on the opaque nature of Kris. 

He sheepishly tugged on the shoulder of Susie’s black dress shirt. “Susie, really no need to look for them. They’re just probably hanging out with their other friends.” He really did not want to be like, clinger or a stalker or anything.

Susie looked down at him, and started counting off her fingers. “We’re right here, Catti and Jockington are hula-hoopin’ on the dance floor, and, uhhh…” She looked over to Noelle. “I mean, who else?” Noelle shrugged her shoulders.

Susie turned back to Berdly with her hands on her hips. “Trust me, Berd. They’re just scared, like a little baby. A little pussy baby. Plus, group of three is NOT ENOUGH if we wanna make this the BEST NIGHT EVER! Noelle, get up here! We’ll scope ‘em out.” Like a periscope for the ocean of teens, she hoisted Noelle onto her shoulders. 

Berdly was torn. He was getting a little sick of third wheeling for the happy couple, he missed Kris’s company. Dances like this were never really his thing. Obviously, he had some more friends now, but there had been many-a school dance where he had simply stood in a corner for a few minutes and gone home. But also, in the off chance that Kris was making out with some Ebott quarterback, he did not–

“There they are! Kris ‘ho!” Noelle pointed out over the crowd, perched on Susie’s shoulders like a pirate in the crows nest. He couldn’t see through the throng of teenagers, but…

Susie’s scaly snout, already sweating, was pointing at him. She leaned down and whispered in an intense voice. “Berdly, swear to the angel, if you don't get out of here and go find them, I'll roast you on a spit.” She slapped him on the back and pushed him into the crowd as she dropped Noelle back down to the ground.

Well, problem solved.

————————————————————

“What makes you interested in Minnesota Twin Cities, Kris? Most of the kids I talk to about college are always saying they want to get away, but that can’t be more than a couple of hours from here.”

“Uhm… Yeah, uh…” Kris had been bullshitting small talk for the last 20 minutes, saying anything and everything to stay in conversation with Alphys and avoid confronting their… Well, their best friends, Kris supposed. Their best friends who only wanted the best for them. That’s who Kris was running from. Moron.

The answers they had given, from their interest in baking to suddenly confessing their late-night organ habits, had simply flown out of them like pressure escaping a balloon. They couldn’t turn it off. 

“Well, I hear they have a– a pretty good computer science program–” WHY! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?? Kris didn’t know the first thing about programming, or circuits, or math, or fucking anything for that matter. Why were they just lying, why about computer science?

“Really! Kris, you should speak up more in class, I had no idea you had that kind of interest! I could use your help, I’ve been trying to build a new PC forever, the visual novels are getting so demanding–” Alphys stopped mid sentence, putting a hand over her mouth. It looked like she had pregamed her chaperone gig. Hell yeah, Alphys. “Sorry, that’s probably a bit weird to hear, haha.”

Kris held their juice cup as hard as they could without spilling it. They felt like they were balancing a needle the size of a skyscraper on their head. “HAHA! No, it’s fine Alphys. You enjoying the party, anyway?”

Alphys’s possibly alcohol-fuelled blush deepened. “Ah, you know me, Kris, this stuff isn’t really my thing. But, uh–” Alphys proceeded to sputter for about 3 minutes while pointing in the general direction of Undyne, who was also chaperoning. Kris let the silence stretch for as long as possible, boring a hole in Alphys’s face with the stare of their ruby-red eyes. Finally, after the blush had covered her entire face, she spoke up. “It was– I-It was, was really nice of your m-mother to plan this whole thing, Kris.”

“She wanted it to be a charity ball, you know.” Another family secret, out the window. Kris thought about biting their tongue off or running away, but both would likely mean they would have to see their friends. It was a curious thing, their primal fear and revulsion to seeing them tonight. Berdly looked handsome, the happy couple were all dressed up, everyone seemed to be having fun. But Kris just couldn’t go over, not with how much was at stake. They realized Alphys had never responded during their brief internal monologue. “For Dess, you know. Some stupid bylaw bullshit…”

Alphys didn’t seem to know how to respond. Kris wondered if the two had ever met. They wondered if she found their blank face disconcerting. It felt like their shoulders were on fire, taught as steel cables. 

“.........um…….. W-When did you d-develop an interest in computers, Kris? I’ve always seen you as…. As, um, a bit of an artist, n-no offense.” She was smiling nervously and looking around behind Kris.

“I didn’t. I’m not sure why I said that. Just what’s been on my mind lately, I guess.”

Alphys gulped. “Oh… You should talk to Berdly, I was a c– chemistry major… He probably knows more about that stuff than I do…”

Kris wanted to talk to him. They wanted to talk to him quite badly. They wondered if this is what withdrawal felt like. The whole week, they had been talking everyday. Talking about Kris’s progress in MSG, the poems they had tried to write. He had stayed up late just to come to the church and hear them play again. The pair had tried out the new flavor of ice cream pizza at ICE-Es. All in a very friendly manner. Kris’s mother would probably say it would have been “unbecoming” to tell him they wanted to pin him to the floor and feel his feathers on his face. Weird, clingy, annoying. If they hadn’t mastered the art of the straight face, they would be crying. 

Alphys spoke again, looking horrifically awkward. “W-Where is Berdly, anyway? Um, I kind of expected you two to be–”

Kris crumpled the crappy plastic cup with white knuckles, spilling the little amount of dance juice left onto the floor and cutting Alphys off. They dropped the cup and shook the liquid off their hand as they shouted over the crowd. “WELL ALPHYS, IT’S BEEN GREAT CATCHING UP!”

Kris saw the lizard put her hand over her mouth with a nervous giggle as they turned and pushed their way into the mob. Laughing at them. Angel, it must be that fucking obvious. Everyone knows that Kris goes to bed with a stupid, pathetic longing. Probably he knows, too, and is just politely pretending to not hurt their feelings. Like the fucking gentleman he’s dressed as tonight, in that tormenting, silky, handsome suit. 

As Kris pushed through the lanky mosh pit of 90% Mt. Ebott kids, they took a few deep breaths. Earbuds in, crowd out. Ever since Berd had introduced them to Miku, they would listen to “Oha-Yo-Del!” to relax. They focused on their breathing, on the bass thrumming through their ribs. Just act normal. Smile, talk, laugh at his jokes. That’s all they had to do. If they looked calm enough, maybe they’d start to feel it. They could still get through tonight without making a fool of themselves, or like a creep or anything. Just gotta swallow the tongue, get back to the group, and start acting normal. Stop hanging off by the side like a weirdo. Be smooth. Angel, they could joke-flirt every day all day with Susie or Noelle, but that fucking bird that they hate…. It’s just different. 

They stopped in the middle of the crowd, staring forward with a blank expression. At this dance, where they looked half-decent and he looked like some young wall street guy, this was probably the only chance they were gonna get. Maybe Susie was right about all that romantic stuff…

————————————————————

The music was pounding in Berdly’s ears as he pushed his way through the crowd, that kind of blaring, overstimulating EDM that he couldn’t stand. He was being touched and bumped and pushed at every second, and was rapidly oscillating between kicking himself for trying to seek out Kris and badly yearning for their company. 

And then, suddenly, they were there. Silent, straight-faced with their eyes closed and earbuds in. They looked completely at peace…

…until Berdly accidentally slammed into them. They opened their eyes like they were just now aware they were standing in the middle of the dance floor.

“HEY! I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU!” He leaned into them, trying his best to shout over the cacophony of bodies and speakers.

“WHAT??” They took out one earbud, grinning at him like it was a joke.

“I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU!”

They nodded their head. “OH! SAME! WAIT– COME ON!” They grabbed him by his shoulder, firmly pulling him out of the teenaged ocean and towards the punch bowls. 

With one hand, they slipped their earbuds out and into a case in their inside suit pocket. Berdly wished he had thought to bring something like that. His ears were still ringing, so it was hard to hear them when they spoke up.

“Some crowd, huh?” They leaned up to him, speaking into his ear, and he caught another taste of their cologne. 

He leaned down in turn. “Yeah, not sure we’ll be seeing my breakdance training tonight after all, haha.”

Kris giggled at him. “Do you really know how to breakdance? How have I never seen this??”

He put his wing behind his head in a sheepish manner; he hated telling this story but knew it would make them laugh. “I was gonna do it for the talent show a few years ago, but I messed it up in practice and twisted my neck. My parents– my parents banned it, haha.”

They slammed a fist down on the table. “Angel, like Footloose? Oh, man, now I gotta see this!”

“I could be out there unleashing my patented Tango Inferno, or the forbidden Cotton-Eyed Joe Technique… but alas, these Ebott kids seem content with flailing like malfunctioning scarecrows.”

After a coughing fit, Kris poured themselves some of the delicious, ambiguous yellow juice and threw it back. “I know, right? Buncha spazzes, these guys; no class at all.”

He poured himself a glass in turn, and cheersed with Kris. “I was kinda hoping it would be just Hometown kids tonight, you know?”

They poured up two more glasses. “My mom said something about their auditorium getting torn down by some sexy killer robot. Now they gotta invade ours. But hey, good practice for college, right?”

“What do you mean?”

They smiled at his naivete. “You know, parties, man! I went to one of Azzy’s frat parties once. It was like this, but way more crowded, crazier, and a lot more booze.” It was pretty easy to imagine Kris doing frat guy stuff; belly flopping onto folding tables and chugging bottles and the like. 

He chuckled. “Hard to think of me among those ruffians, Kris. I’d have to start wearing backwards baseball caps, and frankly I’m just not prepared.”

They punched him in the arm. “I dunno, man. You party pretty hard with me. It’s in your bones somewhere, you just gotta seize the courage.”

He felt himself begin to sweat once again as the memory of the night resurfaced. It must've been about a week ago that he had that dream, but it was still fresh in his mind. “Yeah, but that’s different. You’re– You’re Kris, it’s different.”

Kris didn’t respond, and stared up at him with a small smirk and quizzical expression. He realized he probably shouldn’t have said that, and cut them off as they opened their mouth to ask him exactly how they were different. 

“ANYWAY, I also just don’t think those kinds of guys would want to party with me in the first place.”

They paused for a moment longer, and decided to drop it. “I think you’ll find the parties coming to you, Berd.” They put down their cup and moved a bit closer, re-straightening his tie after the mosh pit had mussed it up. “If you keep wearing suits like this, that is. Good for pledging, and good for–” They looked up at him. “Well, whoever you like, I suppose.”

Now he was definitely sweating. He gulped before he asked the crazy question that had just popped into his mind. “Uh, Kris, you don’t happen to have any…. Mixers, for this punch, do you? The Third-Wheeling is getting awkward,  I feel like I can’t stand to hang with Noelle and Susie sober any longer.”

Kris pulled away, looking on the floor. “Sober? Angel, Berd, you must think I’m some kind of frunk.”

Their voice came out sharp, sharper and more nervous than their calm demeanor would have implied. Something in the way they said it — soft, but clipped — made Berdly’s chest twist. He hadn’t meant it like that. He’d just wanted to keep the mood easy, to stop sweating every time they looked at him like that. Instead, Kris’s shoulders had drawn in, like they were bracing for something.

“M-My apologies, Kris.” Berdly cleared his throat. “Just the wishful thinking of a nervous intellect.” He closed the gap, awkwardly putting his wing on the stiff shoulder of Kris’s suit jacket.

Still looking at the floor, they whispered to themself like air escaping from a collapsing boiler. Berdly only, barely, barely caught it above the symphony of dance happening 5 feet away. “I– I wanted you to know I don’t have to be drunk to want to be with you.”

“What?”

Kris stiffened up and looked at him. Their eyes were wide; Berdly was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to hear that. “What?”

“Uh– N–Nevermind, sorry.” He felt his hands fall to his side and go numb as the words echoed in his mind. “I wanted you to know I don’t have to be drunk to want to be with you.” What the hell did that even mean?

Kris stared at him, laughing nervously. Or at least, he’s pretty sure that’s what they were doing. He couldn’t hear them; he couldn’t hear anything. The room felt like it was shifting on its axis, and the frantic rumblings of the crowd were muted completely. Don’t have to be drunk? To want to be with him?

His brain rushed through the possibilities. It was a joke, a slip of the tongue, a prank on him. But each time, that face, that marble-crafted, shocked and humiliated expression flashed up. The wide eyes, the way their voice had cracked. They meant what they said.

Kris and Berdly had only been drunk together twice. Once at his house, once at theirs. He tried desperately to rationalize the statement as referring to the first occasion. 

Maybe they meant they didn’t have to be drunk to want to be close with him, to relate to him and to share his interests. To be his friend. But no, they wouldn’t need a dance to prove that. The two had never been closer. He was playing more Minecrap with them, listening to their piano, writing haikus with them.  And yeah, maybe that night in his room they had woken up rather close together, but that had become normal as well. After all, they would frequently sit close, in– in, um, a position some might consider light cuddling, while they watch Gundam. But in a STRICTLY platonic way.

So no, it couldn’t have been that night they meant. As hard as he tried to force his brain to believe it, it didn’t make sense.

Which meant– It couldn’t be–

He felt the bottom drop out from under him. His knees felt weak and wobbly. The dream. The Dream. The same dream that had played in his mind over and over again, as clear as the cyber world that had prompted this whole amazing rabbit hole. It all came flooding back once more: the dim light, the sound of that old soul song, Kris pinning him down, laughing, taunting, and then…

His feathers bristled under the heat of that realization, shame and thrill twined together. All the last while he’d been trying not to think about that night, convincing himself it was wishful thinking, a drunk blur he’d invented to fill the hole where his courage should be. And now, just when Kris had just torn that lie clean out of him, he could see that they were just as afraid as him.

Not much time had passed during his brief mental breakdown. Kris was leaning in; he could read their lips asking if he was ok as the sound gradually returned from the world around him. 

He blinked and swallowed, resetting and willing himself back into composure. 

“Sorry, s-sorry, yeah I’m fine.  Just, uh, I think this juice is m-making me a bit sick.” He was desperate not to embarrass them, not to jeopardize his newfound potential. 

They laughed it off, hands smoothing down their suit jacket and dress as they regained poise. “Yeah, it’s better at the church, right?”

Berdly looked over at the dance floor. The song had changed now, to some mid-2000s white girl dance music, less abrasive than before. His jaw was trembling, and he took a few deep breaths.

Kris turned to look out over the crowd. They spoke to him in a soft voice, barely audible over the screams of Party in the S.U.A. “Part of me wishes I hadn’t come.”

He turned to them, every nerve screaming out. “I thought you liked to party?”

Kris chuckled. “I love to party, but…” They turned back towards him, lips glistening in the reflection of the dance floor lights. Even now, when they were clearly overstimulated and somewhat nervous, it made Berdly’s heart to feel their gaze on him. Looking like they did, being like they were.

“I mean, you know, Berdly. I– We– party a bit differently. Not sure the people out there, Ebott or not, would understand it. Nothing against dancing, but–.” Kris’s eyes wandered to the dance floor now and then, studying the writhing mass of silhouettes as though they were a separate species.

“I’d rather be getting d– Y’know, hanging with you guys. That’s my kind of party.” 

Keep it together, Berdly. Keep a fucking lid on it. Laugh and smile. Remember to blink. “What we’re seeing here, Kris, is a fine example of the ancient art of ‘forced revelry.’ It’s probably that many people at this dance are here for the same reason as you or I: because they want to Fit In. I much prefer a– a smaller, more curated social circle. Present company included, of course.”

Kris looked back out, craning their neck to try and find Susie and Noelle. “One day I’ll introduce the two gays to the Angel’s gift to young people. A nice little kick-back. But yeah, this isn’t it for me.”

This is it. A once-in-a-lifetime convergence of circumstances: attire, atmosphere, and opportunity. Speak now, or forever hold your peace. A lifetime of hypothetical regret and emotional incompetence can be avoided. Right. Now. 

He coughed and smoothed his plume down, taking one final sip as he prepared. “You know, maybe we could still, uh, squeeze whatever bits of fun are left in tonight.”

He offered them his hand. “Wanna– Want to dance?” 

————————————————————

He asked, moron. Speak. Respond. But nothing came out. Kris was paralyzed for a moment. His feathered hand was outstretched, waiting with that fine cuff and sleeve. Even in this state, Kris knew they were a well suited couple. In both meanings of the word. So just say yes.

Kris finally willed their arm up to take his hand, determined to not let the moment pass. They didn’t know what god or titan brought this about, where Berdly mustered the courage and bravery to do what Kris was scared of, but they said a quick, dense, and very loud prayer in their head.

“Berdly…” It was quiet now, at least in Kris’s mind. “I would love to.” It was hard to speak up over the crowd, but they wanted to shout. “Thank you for asking…”

With a furious, horrific blush, they took his arm and pulled him to their side, feeling the silk of their garments fit together as they turned towards the floor.

It was a special thing they had made. Kris had never imagined it would end up here, with the two of them looking like Berdly’s parents at every damn PTA meeting (Kris’s outfit was thrifted, though). A few days ago, they had been curled up on the couch watching the old gangster movies Kris loved, eating swampcorn (which Kris had finally gotten Berdly to appreciate). To think that this is what it was leading to, a dance–

They looked out at the crowd once more, slowing their pace.

A dance. A dance with a lot of people Kris’s didn’t know. Not like they didn’t know the Pizza Warrior, or some of the other people they didn’t “know” in Hometown. They didn’t know their faces, their names, much less anything about them. 

Suddenly, the thought of dancing with Berdly, which had felt dizzyingly right a moment ago, became heavy and exposed. As the pair moved closer, it became clear just how dense the crowd was, just how many people were dancing to the music. Kris stopped a few feet from the edge of the crowd, tense. They weren’t like Susie and Noelle, obviously meant for each other, a pair everyone could recognize and understand. Kris and Berdly would never be on the posters of Hollywood, or have stories written about their love. How could Kris expect these people– these strangers, to accept or understand such a strange, improbable pairing.

The realization crawled into their chest like ice, freezing the possibility of this simple pleasure under the weight of this judgment. They gripped harder on Berdly’s arm, and could hear him asking what was wrong. Even with the sound of his voice, Kris continued to stare at the crowd. 

They couldn't do it. Not here, not with all these people. Their first time with the guy they liked, hell, the guy they adored couldn’t be tampered with by onlookers and expectations.

The air was gone before they knew it. Their throat was closing as hard as their hand around Berdly’s wing, and their legs were already moving. “S-sorry, It’s a bit stuffy in here, Berd– I’m gonna– I’m gonna getsomeair!” The words tumbled out as they slipped through the crowd, every step an escape.

————————————————————

Susie had grown to like Berdly more than she’d ever admit, but she was still pretty damn annoyed to see his panicked face cutting through the crowd. She’d finally started to relax. The lights flashed hot over the gym floor, Noelle’s hand was warm in hers, and the bass thumped against her ribs just right. Even the sea of randos didn’t bother her much anymore. There was just the beat, Noelle’s laugh, and the ridiculous way Jockington could move his tail to anything.

The DJ (who she was pretty sure was just Sans in a pumpkin mask) had put on this throwback track called the Jitterbug, but she had to stop her groove with Ellie to deal with the damn Nerdmeister.

“Susie—” He was out of breath, even though he’d only shoved through a few feet of people. His eyes were wide, and his feathers a mess, but he wasn’t doing that stupid flapping thing he usually does when there’s drama.  “—it’s Kris— they ran off— and I can’t find them—"

Typical. Not exactly ‘stop-the-song’ emergency material.

“Spit it out, Berdly!” she snapped, and Noelle looked on beside her.

He bent over, hands on his knees. “I finally asked them. We were gonna dance, Suz—”

Noelle’s eyes went wide.

“But they looked at the crowd and they looked so scared, and they just— just ran off, Suz! And I loo— I looked and looked, but I couldn’t find them!"

Susie’s face dropped. Alright. Maybe this wasn’t just Kris being Kris.

She let out a low breath. Time to man up, Suz. Time to play matchmaker again.

She let go of Noelle’s hand and grabbed Berdly — partly to steady him, partly to steady herself. His eyes were red, feathers all sticking the wrong way.

“Listen, Berd,” she said, lowering her voice. “You just stay here and dance with my girl.” She gave a short laugh, hoping it’d calm him down. “Gotta get your moves ready for when I drag Kris back out here.

She reached up and tried to smooth his plume a bit. He always looked best after hanging out with Kris.

“Just clean yourself up and wait, okay? I dunno what I’m gonna do yet, but I know where they are."

He nodded, throat tight.

Susie straightened up, head poking over the crowd like a crocodile’s eyes over water. Then she pushed forward, carving her way through the mob.

————————————————————

Susie banged open the fire escape door, glad for the cool night air and the stillness compared to the chaos of the gym. All of the hot air from the dance had filtered upwards, and Susie had gotten more than a lungful as she bounded up the stairs. But the roof was breezy and summery, so she buttoned back up her cheap black dress shirt as she walked over to Kris.

They were standing on the edge, looking out over the forest in a hunched position. Their shoulders were shaking with hurried breaths.

She called out. “KRIS!” Her shout echoed over the still town, rough. Like a bully’s voice.

Kris whipped around, with their shoulders still hunched and a shocked expression on their face. Their arms were close to their chest, and they had been repeatedly trying to light a lipstick-stained cigarette. They froze when they saw her.

“What the fuck are you doing up here, man? Berd’s freaking out!” She stormed up to them, trying not to be too threatening.

Kris looked back down and silently began fiddling with the lighter again. Their hands were shaking like a 9.5 earthquake had hit, and their eyes were wide.

Susie huffed and got in their face, pushing them back by their shoulder. “Asshole! I’m talkin’ to you!"

They looked back up with an exasperated expression, dripping the lighter to their side. “People! Lots of people!”

If Susie was doubting this was some kinda panic attack, it was a certain thing now. She only knew them to go partially mute when they were like this, stressed out of their mind. She laid a hand on their shoulder and rubbed her temples.

“Man, are you talking about those strangers?”

They nodded quickly, cig still bobbing up and down on their lips.

“Angel. Where’d you even get that thing?”

They turned, and pointed a gloved finger to a pack of reds resting on an AC unit. “Emergencies. For emergencies.”

Susie crossed her arms. “And how exactly does this qualify as an emergency? 

“I–” Kris’s eyes were wild. “You fuckin know why!” they shouted, dropping the cig from their lips onto the dirty roof. 

Susie sighed and laid one of her heavy claws on Kris’s shoulder. They had frozen up, back like steel cables; she could feel it through the jacket.

“Dude. All those fuckin Ebott guys….” Susie scoffed. “We’re never gonna see them again. They don’t give a fuck about us, so we should’nt give a fuck about them. What’s the big deal, man?” She reached down and grabbed the sullen cigarette from the ground. “Not sure Berdly will appreciate this taste on your lips, by the way.” She flicked it off the roof. 

Kris’s frantic breaths slowed; their eyes fixed on the concrete beneath their heels. Susie could feel the heat from the blush spreading across their face. “Me–”

“Me and Berdly aren’t like you and Noelle, Susie. We don’t look like we were meant for each other, people will see us on the floor and see a couple of–” 

Kris choked on their words. Susie reached a claw down and tilted their head to the sky. She spoke softly to them. “Don’t let that makeup run, freak.”

“-Freaks! I can’t see him go through any more ridicule, Sus–”

Susie pulled them into a tight hug. She spent a few quiet, peaceful moments patting them on the back and shushing their sobs. “Let it out, man.”

“He’s just been through–” Kris’s voice was weak now; tears were streaming down the sides of their face. A small mercy, most of their makeup was spared. 

“Kris, you fuckin’ moron. Don’t you think me and Noelle have been praying for you two to get together? You know how cute you fuckers are with eachother? And you're worried about what people will think?”

She pulled away to stare the human in the face.

“You go down there, and dance with him in those outfits, you’re gonna have the crowd by the throat. And don’t even fucking worry about a thing. Wingman Numero Uno, yours truly, is gonna sort it all out. A little old fluffy goat lady told me a secret that might help.”

The tall lizard knelt down and opened her palms expectantly. “Now gimme your makeup. Gotta make sure you look like a showstopper, huh?”

————————————————————

Berdly heard the stair doors bang open behind him. He was on the edge of the crowd; he had tried to dance with his friends but his nerves were pounding in his mind. He had run back over his conversation with Kris 34 times in the span they had been gone, looking for what the hell he said to screw everything up. 

He whipped around, and his eyes fell on Kris once more. They were strutting towards him like a model on the runway, one long, thin, perfect leg after another. 

When they reached him, he found his breath was as frozen as he was. Their makeup had been touched up; Berdly had never wanted to taste anything more than their deep, dark, luscious lips. 

“I’m sorry about that, um, Berdly…” They gave a small, sheepish smile. “I’ve been freaking out all evening…” Kris straightened his tie and drew close. “...because I really didn’t want to screw this up. And I– I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, hah.”

Berdly choked on his tongue a few times before he responded. “You look amazing, Kris– I, I don’t know how you could’ve messed up like this. I was so shocked when you chose–”

They reached up a glove and held his cheek. “It’s ok, man. You don’t have to say anything. I– I want tonight to be special with you, and I have a plan.”

Berdly stared into their ruby-red eyes, so full of hope and affection. He suspected Kris could get him to do literally anything while they looked like this. 

They straightened his tie one final time. “Do you trust me?”

Berdly didn’t need to think. He nodded. 

————————————————————

Noelle had been enjoying her dance with Catti and Jockington, trying to keep her worries about her friends in the back of her mind. However, she was a little surprised when the music suddenly shut off.

“Gaydies and Lentilmen! I’ve got a very special surprise to really get this party going!” It sounded like the voice of that guy who was seeing Kris’s mom– Noelle couldn’t remember his name…

“The school has graciously hired two professional tango dancers, so make a little bit of room, kids!”

Tango dancers? Noelle’s jaw dropped, and she started frantically hitting her friends out of excitement. 

“Makesomeroom guys, MAKESOMEROOM!!’

————————————————————

Berdly’s heart was threatening to pound out of his chest as Kris led him onto the dance floor. 

He whispered urgently to them: “Kris, do you know how to tango?”

They looked back at him with a giddy smile. “Maybe. Maybe I’ve been thinking about this, and maybe I've been dancing alone in my room imagining I was with you. You never know, Berdly~”

His heartrate only quickened.

They pulled him close, up until their head was against his chest. They put one arm over his shoulder, and held his wing up and out. His hand found the bottom of their shoulderblade like it was second nature; the classic beginning pose of a tango. He thought it was quite funny how much Kris looked like a matador, in the broad and stiff shoulders of their jacket; and yet how stunningly gorgeous they looked underneath. He snapped his head to the side and prepared himself to dance before he could imagine what they would look like under the dress. 

The opening of the piece began to ring out over the dancefloor. The room was essentially silent, only filled with the opening claps and the whispers of the other students.

It was Piazzolla’s Libertango, Angel, yes. Berdly knew the dance like the back of his hand. And given the way Kris was holding onto him, like they wanted to never let go, he assumed they did too. Their bodies connect from sternum to thigh in the apilado embrace, sharing a single column of balance. One axis. One heartbeat. No distance left to hide behind. He calmed his breathing and waited for the dance to begin.

The pulse of the bandoneon begins. It’s sharp, syncopated, like boots on concrete. Berdly shifts his weight to his right foot. Kris shifts to their left. The floor waits beneath them, slick with polish.

First step: a slow salida. The two glide across the floor, their chests glued together, every movement a whisper through the connection at their ribs. Berdly feels Kris’s breath on his neck; steady and even. Berdly does his best to imitate.

They pivot. A sharp twist through the torso, not the hips—Kris follows with catlike precision. Kris’s free hand skims lightly along the inside of Berdly’s forearm, a silent cue. Berdly leads a forward ocho, letting Kris spiral through the turn, their leg tracing a molten curve on the floor. Kris’s thigh brushes his on every rotation, their heel slicing the air before returning to the floor with a kiss of leather.

With every movement, the crowd withdraws around them. Berdly can feel hundreds of stares on the back of his head, he grits his beak hard enough to break.

He chokes on each movement, trying to contain himself, but he has to speak up. “Kris– Kris, everyone is looking at us! What– What are–”

With one motion, Kris presses themselves against him anew; not one of their steps has been misplaced. Faintly, he can hear their whisper as they keep their head focused on the.

“Berdly. I’m only looking at you.”

His chest tightens, and the whispers fade away. Angel, he’s been training for this all his life, hasn’t he? What were all those fucking lessons for, if not for this? Berdly stills his chest, and locks in on the dance.

The music sharpens. Berdly draws Kris into a close pivot, then sends them into a sweeping ocho cortado. Kris responds instantly, their leg hooking him in a soft enganche, their calf sliding against his before releasing again. Their bodies breathe together, torsos leading, legs following like flame following oxygen.

The tempo rises. Berdly nails a corte y quebrada, stepping around Kris’s leg in a controlled half-moon. They respond like it’s second nature. God, how much had they practiced for this?

They shift their weight decisively into him, grounding his axis with their own, their forehead almost brushing his cheek. Berdly feels his panic melt as the dance descends into pure instinct

Berdly leads a sandwich, his foot trapping Kris, and they respond with a sharp flick of the leg, a restrained boleo that arcs behind them in a flash of silk and skin. Gasps rise from somewhere beyond the embrace. Berdly can’t bring himself to care. Kris’s chest presses to his, their weight settling into him again. For so, so long Berdly has lived his life by other people’s expectations; he never imagined how euphoric it would feel to share his life with someone. 

They walk.

Forward, slow, predatory. Berdly can feel every step, like a promise finally fulfilled. The music is climaxing, coming to a fiery end. Kris motions to him to end with a final, impossible dip. His head is spinning with the sensation of the human against his legs, but he takes deep breaths and tries to keep going.

The music rises, with the orchestra growing and growing until the whole room is filled with its passion. The pair spin and spin across the dance floor, tied into one single axis; Berdly feels lightheaded with elation. A heat builds under his collar as his heartrate quickens; he’s tunnel-visioned on the human. This night has gone better than he could have possibly imagined.

The lovers finish their spin, finish their dance, finish their game of push and pull. Berdly dips Kris down, down. They stare back at him, blushing across their entire face, eyes focused on the single point of him. It’s a feeling he’s never experienced in his entire life; it’s overwhelming, it’s pulsing through him–

————————————————————

Berdly feels himself drifting through his own mind, trying to surface. He comes to in the cool night air; his vision is blurred but he can see stars above him. The sounds around him are muted, but gradually fading in.

“Berdly, Berdly! Wake up man, Wake up!” He snaps to life with a shake, pins and needles all over his body. He’s outside, on the hard dirt of the back of the school. Kris is kneeling over him, tears falling onto his dress shirt.

Now he can hear them clearly: “BERDLY! Are you ok, baby? What’s wrong?”

He gives a weak chuckle, and reaches up a wing to push the hair of their face. Their makeup is stained with tears, but they still look so unimaginably beautiful. Their jacket is off now, underneath his head like a cushion.

His voice is weak. “Did we finish the dance?”

This finally gets a laugh out of Kris, who falls onto his chest in relief.

“No, moron, you passed out on the dip and dropped me. I thought you had a heart attack!”

He uses a wing to stroke their soft, straightened hair. “I’m ok, Kris. I’m alright.”

Suddenly, they lunge up to his face and wrap their arms around his head. He feels the soft touch of their lips everywhere as Kris hungrily loves him.

They speak in between each mark of lipstick on his feathers. “Never– Never scare me– like that again, you– you sack of shit.” He leans into them, wrapping his arms around their back and basking in the affection.

They fall onto his chest, burying themselves in the crook of his neck as Berdly slowly regains himself. “I– I thought I had just gone and done it again, pushed you too far and hurt you…

The whole world was quiet now. There was nothing, no one between Berdly and Kris. He never wanted this moment to end; he could die like this and be perfectly content.

He held the human close and whispered in their ear: “It’s ok, Kris. I’m alright. You could never hurt me, baby–”

“I love you.”

He found that he really did; he loved this beautiful, special, adventurous, brave human.

Kris froze for a moment before breaking down; hugging his neck hard enough to choke and kissing the side of his throat over and over again. They spoke through their sobs of joy.

“Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilov–”

Berdly’s head snapped to the side as the door to the gym slammed open; Kris didn’t even flinch. It was Susie and Noelle, out of breath from running. They were sweating like pigs, eyes wide; but they froze when they saw the pair.

“HOLY SHIT! Berdly, are you ok, dude??” Susie ran over and knelt down beside him with a smile.

“You dropped Kris, and then you like, fell over like a mannequin, and then Kris, like, hulked out, dude! Carried you out here bridal style! It was so funny!” She noticed the various red marks all over his face. “Dude, you look like you got attacked.”

Kris giggled into his feathers. Noelle spoke up after walking over, laying a hand on Susie’s shoulder.

“We’re glad you’re alright, Berdly, you gave us quite the scare, faha.” She was looking down with a slight blush; Berdly realized that Kris was fully on top of him, laying on his chest. “But, um, Susie, perhaps we should give them a little space? Maybe go back and get some water.”

Susie stood up with a deep laugh. “Yeah, right. Try and make it back to your room before you start– Urk!” She was cut off by Noelle pulling her back towards the door by her collar.

Berdly knew he would have to get up eventually; the night was growing colder and his suit was probably filthy from the ground. But Kris was still buried in his feathers, still pressed to his chest; his arms were still around them. He could wait here forever.