Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was the end. Everything would fall apart now. You remembered once seeing an image of all the nerve-endings that comprised the typical human, but you knew now that yours had been replaced. Where once neurons and synapses did their constant tasks, chlorophyll and poison rooted and tangled within you. Your skin itched and burned where you knew the buds and petals pressed from within, yearning for sunlight or something worse–maybe the thick red mist that had found you on that train one year ago. 

It was never enough. 

You tried. The ghouls tried. Even certain general students had made an effort. You think the Institute tried…maybe. Or maybe they were just watching you to study how you changed. At least, it seemed, everyone around you had tried. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

How precisely this year would end, you didn’t know; would your transformation take over exactly 365 days from the moment you saw that eye? Or would it be vague, with the change finally happening at sunrise or sunset? 

Fifty-two weeks and two days. Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty hours. Five-hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes. Thirty-one million, five-hundred thirty-six thousand seconds. 

Just. One. Year. 

The reactions of those you had grown so close to were varied. 

Some accepted. This was the way things were for so many other anomalous beings. 

Some were in denial. No, no, (Y/N). It’s okay. There’s still time. It’s not a lot of time, but it’s time. 

Some of them grew frantic, taking on mission after mission, their obvious lack of sleep or taking care of themselves on full display, reputations be damned. 

Some of them began to treat you like glass, striving desperately to make you comfortable, to give you the happiest memories they could…if you could only remember anything after. 

Still, others grew anxious and paranoid, snapping at every authority figure, at every person who didn’t seem to be helping, why wasn’t EVERYONE helping?! 

As the timer counted down (and you realized, you didn’t need to know whether it would be exact or not. You knew you could feel it, and you knew that you would know when the last moments had come), there was one reaction you didn’t see. When you noticed that you hadn’t seen him in days, you knew you had to find him. 

You felt the tattoo-like mark spindling over more and more and more of your skin, and you felt it beneath your skin and in your dreams. You couldn’t go without seeing him one more time. 

In these final moments, you knew you were being watched more closely. If “they” couldn’t save you–and they couldn’t, or wouldn’t–they could at least watch you, at least carefully study and observe the change. 

Unexpectedly, you had grown close to the pact makers in this short year, and to bring you to him, they would help you with every ability and skill at their disposal. 

Assistance by anomalous creatures both new and ancient? Jabberwock and Hotarubi. Political distractions and bribes where necessary? Frostheim gladly would lend a hand. Convenient disbursement of bioweapons, yakuza-like intrigue, and the muscle to back it all up? Mortkranken, Sinostra, Vagastrom. And Obscuary… 

Obscuary was where you would find him, even if he had secluded himself from the other members of his house. 

You swallowed a lump that had been forming in your throat (a knot of leaves, perhaps). “You know Rui’s in there?” Even your voice sounded different to you, less warm, less human. 

The trio you were with still surprised you in a way; Ed and Lyca made sense, but Leo being there was a shock–even more so, that Leo fought to be here. The Influencer exchanged a glance with the Werewolf. “He’s there, Honor Roll,” Leo answered with a nod, tapping one of his own ears knowingly. 

You had begun to wring your hands; Lyca gently but firmly took them into his own. Looking into your eyes, your heart twisted to see the puffiness around his, the unspilled tears that he was desperately fighting. “...I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, “I said we’d break it and–” 

You shook your head vigorously and threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. “Lyca, please. Please don’t blame yourself.” You pulled away to look at him again. “You’re good, Lyca. You’re good, and you’ll show everyone how good you are.” Bravely setting his jaw, Lyca gave one more nod before finally releasing your hands. 

“Remember what I told you?” Turning to Edward, your voice was commanding but your eyes were pleading. 

Ed smiled in that soft, mysterious way he had, and you were near certain you saw a slow, ember-like glow to his eyes. “As soon as I sense it is done, I’ll restrain our dear Rui,” he agreed. With a small tsk and shaking of his head, the vampire looked towards the tightly woven plant life where you would soon be going. “Dear boy is going to be so destroyed by this.” 

Your heart clenched. “I know,” you admitted. “I know, and it’s greedy and stupid and…” 

“Aw, come on!” Leo groaned, rolling his eyes and interrupting your attempts at monologuing. He leaned down to peer at you at eye level. He was full of surprises today it would seem: he looked like he might cry. “Of course it’s greedy and stupid and totally off-the-walls insane!” He stood up to his full height again, clearing his throat, his face reddening as he looked away. “You’re in love with him.” The Influencer indicated the direction you needed to go with a waved hand. “Now go get him already.” 

Before Leo had the chance to object, you wrapped your arms around him in a hug. “Thank you,” you said, quietly but sincerely. “For everything.” 

Leo gave you a quick, awkward pat on the head, then pushed you away. In another world, in another life, you would have laughed at the redness in his face. “Go.” 

When you turned away from the small party, shaking, you wondered for a moment how you would get in, but then you felt it: a tightening, expanding, and re-coiling of vines within you. The various anomalous flora had been woven together, cultivated and guided to make walls in the Obscuary forest, a secret, secluded glade that few would have ever been brave enough to enter. Yet still, this plant-made fortress was anomalous flora, and soon, you would be, too. It bended and bowed at your touch. The Kyklos within you was stronger than these plants, and they submitted.

The ever-night moon and stars would have been blocked from view with any other plant-life, but these trees, bushes, and flowers glowed with careful bioluminescence that gave the area a hazy, dreamy feel, softly reflected green by plush moss that covered the forest floor. 

You scanned the area where he should’ve been, bewildered that you couldn’t seem to find him–

–at first. 

“Rui,” you called out, realizing where he must be. “Please. Come out.” 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

You turned in time to see the last of the blond’s deceptive shadows peel away to reveal his form. The way you saw him now brought new shock and fluttering to your heart. Rui was bedraggled, simple black pants and a white button-down shirt peppered with stains of earth. The shirt was unbuttoned to his mid-chest, and he wasn’t wearing his usual defensive turtleneck and gloves layers. The exposed skin seemed almost unbearably pale, likely due to constant covering. You noted a leaf messily half-twisted into his collar. 

A dead leaf.
Of course it was dead. 

The blond stared at you, tiredly leaning against his scythe. He looked so, so tired. Usual red irises were matched by a redness around his eyes. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he repeated, attempting the smallest of smiles. His lip quivered, and the smile didn’t reach his eyes. 

You wrung your hands together again. “I… don’t have much time.” 

The air felt thick between you. Rui sighed, shrinking down his scythe to a chain on his waist. He nervously scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze. “I know that.” Another sigh. “I…I know. How… how are you feeling?” 

“Scared. Tired. Sad.” You stopped wringing your hands to clench them at your sides. Look at me, Rui, you inwardly begged. Please. “I wanted to see you.” 

The Reaper laughed, but there was no joy in it. “You… you shouldn’t, (Y/N). You should be… uugggh,” he groaned, bringing his hands to his face, covering it as he lowered his head. “You should be finding a cure or partying or something or–” 

“--Or being with someone I love?” 

Your interruption hung in the air, sounds gone in an instant but the words still palpable. 

“Y-yeah,” Rui stammered, his hands dropping helplessly. Your eyes couldn’t leave him, but he kept his head lowered. You watched a tear fall and darken the moss at his feet for a moment before the man continued to speak. “You shouldn’t be here. I’ve never been able to help you, even though I promised, and…” 

“Everyone promised.” Your interruption was softer this time. 

“Not as hard as I did.” His words cut back in a way you never had heard him speak. There was that quiet between you again, and it hurt. You couldn’t bear it for long, and you took a step toward him. With practiced precision, he stepped back immediately, keeping his distance, but finally, finally looking up at you again. He was shaking now, his shoulders heaving with his shuddering breaths as tears silently ran down his face. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to be cured, this stupid, stupid curse was supposed to be broken, and then you could go back home…” 

You shook your head, tears escaping your own eyes now. “Maybe that’s what I wanted at first, but I’m not the same person anymore. This…” You gave a grand gesture all around, implying not just this glade or Obscuary, or even the Academy grounds, but the world where you had come to know the ghouls. “...This is my home now.” 

Rui crossed his arms, not even bothering to wipe away the tears, but his body language remained eager to push you away, even as he longed to do the opposite. Still wet-faced, he flashed another beautiful, stubborn smile, “That’s sweet. It is. Then you should be with your newfound family, spending time with them.” 

“I don’t want to, Rui.”

“Please, don’t…” 

“I came to see you–” 

“–You really shouldn’t–” 

“–I needed to–” 

“–No–” 

“–to tell you–”

“Don’t do this, (Y/N)–”

“–because I won’t get another chance–”

“Please! DON’T!” 

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, RUI!” 

Your words echoed in the small clearing, a flapping of wings sounding as some frightened birds fled. 

Rui looked at you another long beat before his face twisted into a pained expression, a choked sob escaping his throat. In a flash, he fell to his knees and slammed a hand on the ground. The moss around his touch browned and withered, and this drew another sob from him as he crumpled. 

“You’re not supposed to love me,” he wept. “I couldn’t save you… I couldn’t… I can’t even touch you!” As if emphasizing the point, more moss crumbled to dust at his touch, leaving nothing but soil where his hand now gripped, pained, at the ground. 

Another knot had formed in your throat, and you took a slow, deep breath; the air felt cold in your lungs. You weren’t sure when your temperature had started to sky rocket, but you imagined it was when your tears had started. “But…. I do love you, Rui. I do. And that’s why…” Another deep breath, and you slowly lowered yourself to your knees as well, though you still kept your distance. “...That’s why I wanted to see you. Tonight.” 

Crimson eyes, wavering, terrified, found yours. “Tonight?” 

You nodded and sat back on the heels of your feet. “It’s done tonight. The curse’ll end, and I’m out of time.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as his eyes searched yours. “I don’t…” Your throat felt dry. “I don’t want to become… to become a Kyklos.” Now your gaze drifted away, and you looked at the moss where you sat. You wondered if the Kyklos ever had roots or a resting phase, or if it scampered around eternally, looking for its next host. “I don’t want to become that thing, and I do want to be near you…” 

“Do you have any idea what you’re asking me?” Rui’s voice was barely audible now, but he was closer. You looked up to find him kneeling in front of you now, and your eyes locked again. 

He was so beautiful. 

“I’m so sorry, Rui,” you snivelled up at him, though you weakly smiled through the tears. “I’m selfish, a-and… I want to stop the transformation, and…” Why be shy now? There wasn’t any time for this. There was never enough time. “And I wanted…to touch you.” 

The look Rui gave you was heartbreakingly loving, red eyes desperate, desperate to find a way out, a way to change this, a way to fix this, a way to do anything but there was nothing, nothing, there just Wasn’t. Enough. Time. 

Rui’s hand moved towards the mossy forest floor again, but this time stopped before giving the touch of death to the flora. Hovering, his hand trembled closer to you, coming to rest with just the barest fingertip grazing the fabric of the pants you wore. 

“Why did it have to be like this?” he lamented. “Sometimes I wish I could’ve met you as a regular guy… I guess you wouldn’t have given me the time of day if I had though.” He laughed bitterly before sighing again. “The whole reason I’ve been able to know you has been because of… that.” He pointed, and you looked where his finger led. You gasped. 

There, on the back of your hand, the cursemark had tendrilled its way down your arm. It was now visible on the backs of your hands and wrists. 

Rui’s expression was ever apologetic as you looked back up at him. “Sorry,” he quickly murmured, concern flooding each word, “You might not have noticed if I didn’t say anything."

You shook your head. “Maybe not, but… there would’ve been other things…” 

“Yeah.” 

Silence again, this time ever-so-slightly more comfortable because he was looking at you now. 

Rui broke the silence next: “You’re absolutely sure it happens tonight?” 

Another nod from you, and he inhaled deeply before struggling to dry off his face with his sleeves. 

“And you’re absolutely sure this is what you want, that…” His forehead wrinkled in concern but his lips pulled into a somber smile. “That… I am what you want?” 

You reached forward, stretching out one fingertip to touch the pants covering his knee.

“More than anything.” 

The tiniest connection between you, even through the miniscule bits of fabric, felt like the most wonderful trill of electricity. 

Rui gave another small sob, and you so badly wanted to throw your arms around him. “It…I don’t know… how much it will hurt,” he cautioned. 

“It can’t hurt more,” you answered, “than how my heart feels right now.” 

“...I’ll use my stigma. Just before. Just in case. Maybe it…Maybe it will keep there from being too much pain.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Oh…” the blond let out a soft, lamenting moan. “...This… this really… sucks so hard.” The juxtaposition of the situation with his casual phrasing drew a tiny, morose laugh from you both. 

After a beat, you both drew your hands back to your own laps, watching each other as you sat face to face on your knees. In the soft glow, you thought it was the most romantic moment you had ever imagined. 

Then you felt a twitch, a twisting within. A writhing sort of blossoming.

“It’s… It’s time, Rui. Please.” 

The blond, the Reaper, this fellow Cursed, nodded and leaned towards you. 

“Wait.” 

Your single word stopped him instantly. 

Oh, sweet, sweet Rui. 

“Before you..” A quick pause explained the words you were omitting. “...please. Could you… tell me…?” 

The smile he gave you was easily the saddest smile to ever exist. “That I love you? Of course. But you already knew that.” He blew a kiss, and you sighed as his stigma enveloped you. He leaned forward. 

His lips were soft, and you could taste his tears.