Chapter Text
As they entered his room, Edward crossed to the stereo and clicked on the same Debussy album Bella had picked out earlier in the week, the opening notes unfolding softly into the air.
He steered her toward the couch and sank down beside her, only for Bella to climb immediately into his lap. She wrapped herself around him, arms locked impossibly tight as though she were ivy clinging to the column of his body. If she pressed close enough, still enough, it almost felt like she could melt right into his skin and disappear there.
Edward’s lips found her forehead automatically, the kiss as natural as breathing. Then, moving with care, he eased them both down, arranging himself so she was nestled between the couch cushions and the length of his body.
She stayed still for a long time, breathing slowly, clinging to him without desperation, just wound tight like a bowstring drawn back. Edward stroked her arms, her back, his touch unhurried. Every so often he pressed a kiss into her hair, quiet and steady, as if reminding her with each one that he was there, that she was safe.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he breathed, the words whispering against her hair.
Bella gave the smallest shake of her head, her temple brushing his neck.
“Not yet.”
Edward nodded, holding her a little closer. He kissed her crown again, lips lingering patient and even.
Bella closed her eyes, trying to steady herself against the rise and pull of everything inside her. She was still untangling it all in her head, carefully holding herself just above the swell of her emotions, knowing if she sank too far into them she would break. But pressed into Edward’s arms, she found the balance easier to keep.
They stayed like that for a long time, the CD spinning through its track list, finishing, and looping back again. The muted sounds of the household filtered up from downstairs; siblings chatting, the soft clatter of dishes, chairs shifting across the floor. Eventually even those fell quiet, the house empty now except for Carlisle and Esme.
A soft knock sounded at the door. Edward and Bella sat up together, a bit more composed now, but still close, shoulders touching, his arm resting loosely around her waist.
Carlisle and Esme stepped in.
Esme’s gaze landed on Bella at once, taking in her stricken face, the way she was holding herself together by threads.
“Oh, honey,” Esme said softly, opening her arms.
Bella rose and went to her without hesitation. The moment Esme’s arms wrapped around her, the sobs broke loose. Dry, wrenching, tearless.
“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Bella whispered in a choked, low voice.
Esme only held her tighter, swaying a little on the spot. Carlisle stood close at her side, his face pinched with concern as his hand moved in slow, steady circles between Bella’s shoulder blades.
Edward sat where he was, hands clasped together, jaw tight with helplessness, watching his parents comfort her. He looked up at Carlisle when he eventually crossed to sit beside him. Carlisle’s hand settled on his shoulder, firm and warm.
His father's thoughts floated past, tinged with wonder.
Her control is astounding. Especially in front of Charlie, in front of the wolves… it’s more than I thought possible for someone so young.
Edward tilted his head in agreement, pride and admiration flickering in his eyes as he watched Bella in Esme’s arms.
She’s extraordinary, Carlisle added affectionately.
Edward nodded.
A good match for you.
Edward’s chest tightened. He glanced sideways at his father as a crooked smile tugged at his mouth, something caught between sheepish and grateful.
After a moment, Bella’s dry sobs began to ease, though she still trembled faintly in Esme’s arms.
“We’ll figure all this out, sweetheart,” Esme murmured, smoothing her hair with a steady hand. “Don’t worry. Charlie’s welcome here anytime.”
When Bella finally stepped back, she blinked rapidly, an old instinct rather than need. Her face was considerably calmer.
Just then, Carlisle’s pager trilled from his office. He laid a gentle hand on Bella’s arm in passing, a quiet reassurance, before slipping from the room.
Esme stayed behind. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind Bella’s ear, then rested her hands lightly on her shoulders.
“I came to say the library might better suit you two for a while,” she said gently. “It’s bigger, quieter… a little more private. And when we move again, I’ll make sure you have your own space together. A place that feels like both of yours.”
Bella swallowed hard, emotion catching in her throat. “Thank you,” she whispered, then added, still unsteady, “Is it okay if we go there tonight? I don’t want to be rude. I just…” She trailed off, helpless.
Esme’s expression was nothing but kind. She cupped Bella’s cheek briefly.
“Of course, darling. No one expects you to sit out here with a smile plastered on. Take the time you need.”
Relief flickered across Bella’s face as she nodded. She started to turn toward Edward, but he was already at her side, threading his fingers through hers. As they slipped out of his room and into the hall, he leaned in to kiss Esme’s cheek and she patted his arm fondly as they passed.
In the woods, Bella clutched one of his hands with both of hers, her thumb tracing anxious little circles against his skin as they walked. Then, without warning, Edward turned and swept her off the ground in one smooth motion, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he held her close, their chests pressed together as he kept walking.
She started to protest, but the words withered before she could speak. Instead, she sagged against him, tucking her face into the curve of his neck. His arms tightened, firm and protective, carrying her the rest of the way.
The trees folded around them until the lights of the house were only a distant glow. Inside the cottage, the air was hushed, thick with the scent of old paper and polished wood.
He sank into a wide armchair with her still in his arms, settling her carefully against him. Bella didn’t move—only clung tighter, her face tucked beneath the line of his jaw. For a moment she was silent, then her chest hitched and the sobs broke through again, strange and dry, her body trembling with a grief that refused to be contained.
Edward curled his arms more snugly around her, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.
“its okay, baby,” he murmured, “you can let it out. I’m right here.”
Bella’s hands curled tighter against him, one slipping to the nape of his neck, the other fisting lightly against his back. She pressed her face deeper into the line of his throat, her breath shuddering.
“I thought I’d already grieved this,” Bella whispered into his skin between sobs. “My parents… my life… all of it. I thought I’d made peace. But then tonight, my dad was just there. And now it feels fresh again. Like I’m grieving all this loss from the start. Even though he’s going to be back tomorrow.”
Edward’s arms tightened, crushing her impossibly closer into his chest.
“Of course it feels that way,” he murmured. “You didn’t lose all the love you felt just because you thought you’d closed that door. Having him here reopens everything. But it also gives you something back. It’s not all loss, Bella.”
Her breath trembled, the sobs easing just slightly. Then a rough little laugh caught in her throat.
“And I’m angry, too.”
Edward bent his head, frowning slightly.
“Angry?”
The hand at his neck cinched tighter.
“At my mom. Because she’s… the way she is. Not that Charlie isn’t enough, because he is. But if Renee weren’t so damn selfish and crazy -” She broke off, shaking her head hard against him. “I don’t know. It’s just one more time where she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, be what I needed her to be. And it stings more because it’s so easy for my dad to do that. To just… be there.”
Edward’s jaw tightened, but he bent and brushed a kiss into her hair.
“I know. Charlie thought the same thing tonight, when you said you couldn’t tell Renee. He doesn’t understand how she could forget you, how she could move on so easily.” He paused, trying to temper his own frustration. “And neither do I.”
For a split second, Bella felt the old reflex rise to defend her mom, to excuse her.
She means well. She tried. She loves me in her own way.
The thoughts were brittle as they flickered and turned to dust as she crushed them down. They rang hollow even in her own head.
She trembled against his chest as another dry sob rattled out of her, and his hand rubbed slow circles across her back, steady and patient.
After a long silence, her voice returned, smaller than before.
“I’m scared about moving. I don’t want to leave Charlie again. Not now, not after tonight.”
Edward nodded in understanding as he brushed his thumb slowly over the notches of her spine.
“But I don’t think it’s smart to stay in Forks if the story is still that I’m missing,” she went on, voice cracking. “Or dead. Someone will notice. But I don’t want to choose between being careful and having him in my life.”
Her next words were barely more than breath.
“And I don’t want to be without you.”
Edward’s answer came at once, unshakeable and fervent, before she'd even finished speaking.
“I will be wherever you are. Always.”
She inhaled a shaky breath, nodding against him before pressing a soft kiss to his collarbone.
“We’ll figure it out,” he promised, “I won’t let you lose your father again, not right after you got him back.”
Bella pulled back just enough to search his face, her eyes wide and anguished.
“But how? How could we possibly make it work?”
He kissed her temple softly, gentle and lingering.
“We’ll talk about it with Carlisle and Esme. And Alice. It’ll be okay. You don’t have to solve this alone, baby. You don’t have to hold everything together by yourself anymore.”
Her chest hitched, but for the first time since Charlie had left, the tension in her shoulders eased. She let herself sink fully against him again, letting his certainty calm her.
“I love you,” she whispered against his shoulder.
Edward’s lips found her temple.
“I love you, too,” he answered, voice just as soft.
He stroked her hair in slow, even motions, still feeling a little helpless when she unraveled like this. His arms couldn’t mend what was broken, not really, but he held her anyway. When her shoulders hitched again, he lowered his lips to her forehead and hummed—low, tuneful, something half Debussy, half instinct. The sound threaded through the quiet, soft enough to soothe her from the inside out.
Gradually Bella’s dry sobs eased, the tension in her body loosening bit by bit until she could breathe without the catch in her chest.
She pressed closer, then whispered, “Sorry. I just… lost it.”
Edward stilled his hand only long enough to tip her face toward his.
“Bella,” he said, “I love you. You don’t ever have to apologize for how you’re feeling. Not to me. You don’t have to hide a single thing.”
“Even when I fall apart like this?”
“Especially then,” he murmured, brushing his thumb along her cheekbone. “I’d rather hold you through every storm than let you think you have to weather them alone.”
She gave a shaky little laugh, breathless, and leaned into his palm.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” he whispered back, sealing it with another kiss to her forehead.
Bella let out a long sigh and curled closer, tucking herself back against his chest. Safe. Untouchable. Nothing could reach her here, not while he held her.
Which he did, for an impossibly long time, still humming softly to her. Sometime after midnight, Bella whispered, “Sorry.”
“What for?” he asked gently.
“That we’re not…” she said haltingly. “All afternoon all I could think about was getting you alone, but now -”
A flash of desire stirred at her words, chased quickly by concern. He shifted just enough to see her face.
“You don’t have to be sorry for that.”
She shrugged, her cheek brushing against his shirt.
“I just don’t want you to be… disappointed.”
She chose the word with care, as if testing its weight. Edward cupped her jaw, angling her face up so he could meet her eyes.
“Baby… I care about you,” he murmured. “Not what I can get from you. Not what you can do for me.”
He frowned slightly, searching for the right words. Her eyes flicked back and forth between his, wide and anxious.
“You don’t have to... barter for anything here. Not with me. Not for this.”
He caught her hand, pressing it flat to his chest over his heart, his fingers spread over hers.
Bella bit her lip, still uneasy. “Promise?”
“I swear it.” His gaze blazed into hers, earnest and fierce. “I could watch paint dry with you and it would still be ecstasy. Because it’s you.”
A soft huff of laughter escaped her. She pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes. He studied her face anxiously, searching for any sign that his words had settled the way he meant them.
After a long moment, she nodded. “Okay.”
Relief loosened his chest. Edward tilted his chin forward, brushing a single, chaste kiss across her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you,” she whispered back.
She settled back against him, her cheek resting over his heart. The library was hushed around them, time slipping by quietly until Bella murmured, almost dryly, “You know… there’s still plenty of nighttime left for us to be alone.”
Edward laughed, low and warm, though he had to will the sudden thrill in his chest to calm. He kissed her hair.
“Only if you want to.”
Bella sat up slowly, shifting until she straddled his hips. She looked down at him, a small dent between her brows, her teeth catching on her lower lip.
“I am… conflicted?” she admitted, tilting her head to one side.
Edward laughed again, his hand sliding down her arm from shoulder to wrist.
“Oh?”
She nodded, uncertain. “It’s just… I don’t know. Is it normal to feel all these big, heavy emotions and then still… want you? To feel everything at once?”
He shrugged, helpless but tender. “I’m just as new to all of this as you are, baby.”
Bella let out a short laugh. “Oh. Right.”
Then she leaned down and kissed him, soft at first, but deepening as if drawn by gravity. Edward’s hands gripped her waist, guiding her against him, a groan tearing from his chest before he could stop it. Bella pressed closer, her fingers sliding into his hair, pulling him with her.
The kiss deepened, slow but consuming, the heat building with every pass of her mouth on his. Bella pressed closer, her hips shifting instinctively to seek more contact. She tugged at his shirt, slipping her hands beneath to explore the hard lines of his stomach and chest. He shuddered, breath breaking against her lips, his control splintering with each touch.
“Bella -” he rasped, breaking away just enough to meet her eyes, “are you sure? That you want this, not because you think it’s what I want?”
Her answer came without hesitation. “I want this. I want you.”
For a heartbeat, he just looked at her, the certainty burning in her eyes. And then his restraint unraveled completely.
His mouth crashed against hers again, deeper now, his hands sliding over her back and hips, pulling her close until there was no space left between them. She gasped into the kiss, arching closer, and the sound drew a low groan from his chest.
Bella tugged at his shirt, fumbling slightly until she pulled it free. Her palms roamed over him, and he shivered at her touch. His hands slid beneath her clothes in return, eager and unrestrained, tracing her in slow, possessive passes.
She pushed him back into the cushions, and he let her, pulling her down with him. Their bodies tangled, mouths finding each other again and again—every kiss deepening, every touch deliberate, hungry. Her breath caught as his hands explored her, and she answered by tugging her own shirt over her head, leaving nothing between them but warmth and want.
Layer by layer, clothes slipped away, scattered without care. The chair became their world, until there was only the press of skin, the rhythm of them moving together, and the breathless sound of her name breaking against his lips.
Sometime later, the library had fallen quiet again. Bella was curled against him in the armchair, Edward’s hand moving idly along her spine as though he couldn’t stop touching her. He hummed softly now and then, low and tuneful, the sound thrumming through her where she rested against his chest.
By the time the windows began to pale with the tattered edge of dawn, they were still tangled together in the same closeness, neither of them stirring. Edward only moved when his phone buzzed against the floorboards.
He leaned down to retrieve it, glancing at the screen. A single message from Alice: Hoquiam.
“Ah,” he murmured.
Bella tipped her head, curious. “What?”
“Alice saw something. Hoquiam.”
Bella straightened, already reaching for her clothes. “Then let’s go. I want to talk to the others about it.”
“Okay, baby,” he said softly.
Edward helped her gather the scattered fabric, passing each piece with unhurried care. When she slipped her arm through the last sleeve, he leaned in and brushed a kiss across her shoulder.
They dressed in the pale light, then slipped out into the thinning night together, side by side, heading back toward the house.
The smell of cinnamon and sugar drifted through the kitchen when Bella and Edward stepped inside. Esme was bent over a mixing bowl, her movements brisk and graceful as she worked the dough, Carlisle at her elbow rolling out parchment and helping where he could. Alice sat cross-legged on the counter, her chin propped in her hand, Jasper leaning beside.
Esme looked up, her smile soft.
“Cinnamon rolls,” she explained, as though the scent weren’t obvious. “For Charlie and the wolves, when they come back.”
“We’ve been thinking,” Carlisle began, his voice measured. “About how to keep your father close, Bella, without drawing too much attention. We’ll need a cover.”
Esme’s expression softened as she turned toward her again.
“It’s not unusual for families our size to scatter a little. The older ones can be ‘away at school.’” She smiled faintly. “Rosalie wants time alone with Emmett anyway. That gives us some wiggle room.”
Alice’s thoughts pressed lightly against Edward’s mind, bright, conspiratorial.
Call it repayment, she teased. You gave her and Emmett privacy when they first got together and you went off to Harvard. Now it’s your turn.
Edward’s mouth twitched, but he said nothing.
Aloud, Alice said, “Here’s the idea: Jasper and I will ‘transfer’ to Washington State. You and Edward will both enroll at the satellite campus in Hoquiam. Close enough to Forks that you can still see Charlie. Far enough that no one’s likely to stumble across you.”
“And Emmett and Rosalie,” Esme added, “will be at school ‘in Alaska’ for the time being.Though Emmett’s lobbying hard for the Amazon. He’s decided anacondas are next on his trophy list.”
Bella blinked, then let out a small laugh and a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
“That… could work.”
Esme nodded, sliding the pan into the oven. “And we still have a house in Hoquiam, from the last time we lived in the area. It will give you two your own space, and keep you close enough that I won’t feel like you’re gone entirely.”
Edward glanced between his parents. “And you and Carlisle would stay here?”
Carlisle inclined his head. “For a little while, yes. I’d like to stay on at the hospital a bit longer. Give them time to hire a replacement. Or two.”
“Or three or four,” Edward teased.
Carlisle chuckled, a little sheepish.
Bella looked at Edward, her eyes searching his, the faintest dent between her brows.
Jasper spoke up, calm and matter-of-fact. “I’ve already got an appointment with my guy. We’ll have the paperwork Bella needs for college ready before the month’s over.”
Bella exhaled slowly, the lingering tension in her shoulders loosening considerably. She was already imagining it; the classes, the house in Hoquiam, weekends with Charlie. The overwhelming sense that it really could work settled over her. Jasper grinned as he felt her relief and acceptance, which Edward caught secondhand in his mind.
Edward bent and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“See? Told you we’d figure it out.”
Bella’s answering smile was genuine, full of relief. She nodded, and Edward slipped his arms around her, drawing her against him.
She glanced back at the others over her shoulders.
“Thank you,” she said haltingly, voice thick. “So much. Really.”
Alice grinned at her, pleased and more than a little smug.
“No sweat. You’re family now.”