Chapter Text
It was a normal day, until it wasn't.
Dazai was sitting in the hall, not eating breakfast like he was supposed to as usual, when suddenly he felt some water or something getting sprayed onto his face.
He hissed like a cat and turned around to see who the hell sprayed him with water for no reason, only to see Pansy holding a spray bottle with a cross crudely painted on it. "Pansy what the fuck-"
Pansy sprayed him again, "Silence, demon."
Dazai smacked the bottle out of Pansy's hand. "What even is that??"
Pansy immediately pulled out a cross from her robe as soon as Dazai smacked away the spray bottle. "It's holy water. I'm going to get rid of you."
Dazai smacked the Cross out of Pansy's hand. "It's probably just tap water. Where did you even get it from-"
Pansy pulled out another cross from god knows where. "I made it. I went to the Silk Road and became a priest in my dream last night."
"Where do you keep getting those from-" Dazai snatched the cross and threw it across the hall, hitting some random student on the head. "Also, I'm pretty sure that's not how you become a priest."
Pansy pulled out a necklace with a cross charm on it. "JUST GET EXORCISED ALREADY."
Dazai pulled out a knife and chopped the weak string that the necklace was made of. "No."
"What exactly is going on here?" A voice interrupted them before Pansy could pull out a bible or something.
They both look up to see Professor Snape holding the cross and spray bottle that Dazai had smacked out of Pansy's hand.
"Uh, nothing, sir." Pansy said, "Just um.. roleplaying."
Snape didn't believe her but then noticed the knife in Dazai's hand. "Didn't I confiscate that from you yesterday???"
Dazai quickly hid the knife in his cloak. “I have no idea what you’re talking about sir.”
Snape sighed, “Just, don’t sit next to eachother.” He turned to Pansy, “Go sit at the end of the table. 5 points from slytherin for spraying another student with holy water and 5 points from slytherin for hitting someone on the head with a cross. But since the student you hit was a hufflepuff, 20 points to slytherin.”