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Chapter Text

August 2023

“Sun!” Louis hollered up the stairs. “Something’s beeping in the kitchen. Do you need me to do anything?”

“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Harry shouted back. “Can you pull the pan out of the oven for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis agreed.

“Use the oven mitts this time!” Harry admonished.

“That was one time, Haz!” Louis protested.

When Harry didn’t respond, Louis dug through the drawers to find the oven mitts. He didn’t spend much time in the Italy house, and even less time in its kitchen, so he didn’t really know where anything was, apart from the bottle opener. Safely protected from burning, he carefully removed the roasting pan from the oven.

One thing that he was very capable of doing was setting the table, so he finished putting out cutlery at each seat and making sure everything looked good. The vase of bright sunflowers was a nice touch. It had been a while since he and Harry had been able to host a dinner party and even longer than that with these particular guests.

Just as he saw the painted toenails of Harry’s bare feet coming down the stairs, Louis heard the security alert that someone was at the gate. He went to the intercom and heard their driver, Antonio, announce in heavily accented English that their guests had arrived. Louis pressed the button to open the gates.

“Haz, they’re here!” Louis called out excitedly. Harry hurried to the door and put on Louis’ sliders before they went to stand on the front steps together. They were both buzzing with excitement as the SUV slowly pulled through the long circular driveway.

The moment the vehicle stopped, both back doors popped open and Harry and Louis hurried to the car. By random chance, Harry greeted Liam on his side of the car with a big hug, and Louis pulled Niall into a tight embrace on his side. After excited murmurs of greeting, they all met at the back of the car and the couple traded bandmates to complete their hellos.

Louis hooked an arm around Liam’s massive shoulder and started steering him to the house. Niall hooked his arm through Harry’s outstretched one and they followed. Harry looked back and preemptively thanked Antonio, in fluent Italian, for bringing the bags into the residence.

Once inside the house, the pairs separated and Niall and Liam got their first look at Harry’s Italian villa. The two-story foyer opened up into a large, open living room. The light marble floors were broken up by thick, soft-looking rugs in bold geometric patterns. A large, cream-colored L-shaped sectional took up a good portion of the room, with matching, inviting armchairs on the other side of the large fireplace. There were soft throw pillows in bold colors scattered on the sofa and a few ultra fluffy throw blankets draped artfully around the room. The place screamed Harry, but the huge flat-screen TV and gaming consoles beneath showed that Louis at least spent some time there, as well.

“Dinner will be ready in about half an hour,” Harry informed them. “Would you like to see your rooms and freshen up a bit after your long flights?”

“That would be great,” Niall answered their always consummate host. 

Harry and Louis went to the foyer and picked up the bags that Antonio had brought in and headed for the stairs.

“These are the two guest rooms,” Louis said while pointing to rooms across the hall from each other. “They’re pretty much the same and both have an ensuite. There’s a small sitting room there,” he continued, pointing in between the bedrooms. “And our room is at the far end of this hall.”

“Thank God we’re far away from you fuckers,” Niall said with a laugh. 

“Literally!” Liam agreed, with a snicker.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny,” Louis said, rolling his eyes.

Liam offered out his hand to indicate that Niall should pick a room, so he took the one on the left. Liam headed to the room on the right. Harry made to follow Niall and Louis to follow Liam when they looked down at the suitcases they were carrying. They didn’t actually know which cases belonged to which bandmate.

They looked at each other and had one of those silent conversations that only couples who have been together for a long time can have. Harry shrugged and they dropped the cases in a pile in the hallway between the rooms.

“Oi, your bags are out here,” Louis said loudly. “Get cleaned up and come down when you’re ready.”

He took Harry’s hand in his and they made their way downstairs to finish dinner.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An hour later, the four boys were lounging on the large sofa, full and content from Harry’s excellent meal.

“Glad to see you haven’t lost your touch in the kitchen, H,” Niall said happily. “I’m gonna enjoy eating your meals for the next couple of days.”

“It’s great to have the chance to cook for a change,” Harry said, “and even better to have great friends to cook for!”

As everyone was catching up on what they’d been up to for the last six months or so, Louis looked around at each person, ending with Harry. The end of Love on Tour had been hard on Harry and Louis felt terrible that his own tour had kept him from being at Harry’s side. Harry had come to Louis’ last US show in New York at the end of July, but was clearly not feeling totally himself. The next day, he and Harry had flown right back to Italy. Louis had some prep work to do for his Away From Home Festival coming up on the 19th, but he wouldn’t leave Harry’s side unless absolutely necessary. His team could come to him if they needed something in person.

The warm Tuscan sunshine and Louis at his side had gone a long way to restoring Harry’s deflated mood, but Louis knew he was going to need more to really lift him out of the post-tour doldrums. So he’d arranged for Niall and Liam to fly out for a week. It had been a very long time since the four of them had spent a solid amount of time together and he was looking forward to it as much as Harry was. 

His tour was going better than he ever could have imagined, but Louis missed the camaraderie that only the four of them had. No one quite understood the phenomenon of being part of the biggest boyband in the world and then starting all over as a solo artist. Their journeys had been somewhat different in timing and direction (pun intended), but they still understood each other on a level that nobody else could.

Harry was his home, always, but the four of them together was something magical. They were all in their 30s now (or Harry very nearly), with multiple solo albums and tours between them, but in a lot of ways, it was like no time had passed. The inside jokes and playful banter came right back. 

As soon as the sun dipped below the horizon, Harry moved them outside to the beautiful back patio to enjoy the spectacular colors in the sky. Niall and Louis sipped on their ciders, while Harry and Liam enjoyed sparkling water. Harry had refused to have wine or spirits in the house, in respect of Liam’s sobriety journey, but had allowed cider as that wasn’t a particular temptation for Liam.

The sky was streaked in oranges and purples in a beautiful sunset. Niall pulled out his phone and huddled the boys together with the sunset in the background for a selfie, per long tradition. He checked the photo to be sure he was satisfied and showed the others. All agreed it was a great photo. Liam and Niall were in the foreground, with Louis and Harry behind them with their arms around each other, heads close and cheek to cheek.

“Can you imagine if we posted this photo?” Niall asked with a laugh. “We’d break the fuckin’ internet!”

“We’d make the Larries’ heads explode,” Liam joked.

“That would be one way to come out, I suppose,” Harry mused.

“If it wouldn’t cost us millions and millions of dollars, I’d be tempted to do it, just for the chaos,” Louis said, grinning.

Not long after the sky turned indigo and the stars began popping out, Niall and Liam were yawning and their eyes were drooping, due to the time change. Harry and Louis hugged them goodnight and sent them off to their rooms to sleep for as long as they liked. It was a vacation for all four of them, after all.

Louis sat back on a chaise lounge and patted the seat in front of him, for Harry to sit down. Harry snuggled his back into Louis’ front and Louis softly kissed up Harry’s neck to just behind his ear. Harry let out a deep, satisfied sigh and pulled Louis’ arms tighter around his middle.

“Thank you for suggesting this, baby,” Harry said quietly. “It feels amazing for us all to be together again. I’ve missed it.”

“You’re welcome, love,” Louis murmured into Harry’s neck. “I’ve really missed it too. It’s great to see you smiling so much.”

“I know I’ve been a bit down,” Harry started to apologize.

“No, love, none of that,” Louis interrupted. “Ending a 3-year tour is a big fucking deal and you’re allowed to feel sad about it. I’d be concerned about you if you didn’t.” 

Harry hummed to show he wasn’t going to argue. His people pleasing ways had never gone away, and the scale - the number of people counting on him and the expectations put on him - had just increased since he went solo. He always did his best, but it was a relief to come back down to "real life" for a while and just take care of himself (and Louis).

“Let’s just relax and enjoy our boys, yeah?” Louis suggested. “There’s time enough later for what comes after.”

Harry twisted around to press a soft kiss into Louis’ lips. “I love you, baby,” he whispered.

“I love you too, darling,” Louis whispered back. 

They snuggled in to watch the stars multiply in the sky and hear the night sounds settle in, content to be peacefully in each other’s arms.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Liam was already up when Harry entered the kitchen.

“Oh! Good morning!” Harry exclaimed. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up.”

“Sorry to startle you, Haz,” Liam apologized. “Since getting sober, I tend to wake up really early. I usually go for a run or work out first thing in the morning. The time difference isn’t enough that it seems to have made much of a difference.”

“Can I get you anything?” Harry offered. “Tea, coffee? We have some fresh-squeezed orange juice.”

“Some juice would be great, thanks,” Liam said with a soft smile.

Harry considered his old friend as he got a glass from the cupboard and the orange juice from the fridge. He looked much healthier than the last time Harry had seen him. Liam was pretty rough when he and Louis had managed a day in London together and staged a mini intervention. Liam had been so thin then, a far cry from the buff, burly man he’d always been. Liam had cried, mostly on Louis’ shoulder, for more than an hour. They had sat, holding Liam’s hands, while he called his sponsor and set up a time to meet the following day. Harry had to leave the next morning, but Louis had been able to stay a couple more days and the time together with his ‘brother’ seemed to have helped to buoy Liam’s spirits. It hadn’t been easy, but Liam had been on a good path since then.

Now, Liam was looking more like his normal self. He’d gained weight back, mostly muscle if his bulging biceps, framed by his vest, were anything to go by.

“I really enjoy running early in the morning, too,” Harry told him. “I’d be happy to go together, if you’d like.”

“Really?” Liam asked, surprised. “Can you really do that safely?”

The question made Harry sad. Being trapped, in hotel rooms or behind his own walls, was a big factor in Liam’s struggles with alcohol. Security still obviously weighed on him.

“Yeah, actually,” Harry said with a smile. “The people here know who I am, and really don’t give a shit. They’re strangely protective of me? Like, everyone in town knows where I live, but tourists and groupies never seem to find me.”

Liam looked surprised and impressed. “That’s amazing,” he remarked.

“As long as I run early in the morning, I don’t really worry about anyone bothering me,” Harry reassured him. “Plus, I can probably outrun most people these days,” he said with a cocky smile.

Liam burst out laughing.  “I can just picture you running down the ancient Italian streets, being chased by little old ladies shouting your name!” he said, smiling widely.

“Heyyy,” Harry said, good-naturedly. “The little old ladies don’t have to chase me. They lure me in with fresh bread and cappuccinos.”

They chuckled together as Harry started cataloging ingredients he’d need for breakfast. He knew Louis wouldn’t be up for at least two hours, and judging by how many time zones Niall had had to cross from LA, he didn’t expect him to be up anytime soon either.

“I don’t think I’m quite up for a run this morning,” Liam said, “but I’d love to go tomorrow.”

Harry sent him a sunny smile and a thumbs up.

“I need to go to town for fresh bread and a few other things. How about a nice, leisurely walk this morning instead?” Harry offered.

“That sounds great!” Liam replied. “When did you want to go?”

Harry looked at the clock and calculated that Francesca’s bakery would be open by the time they walked into the village proper.

“We can leave in 10 minutes or so, if that’s OK?” Harry asked.

“Sounds good,” Liam said, with a nod. “I’ll grab my shoes. Do you think I’ll need a jacket?”

Harry looked outside at the clear, blue sky. It would be crisp now, but would warm up quickly once the sun was properly out.

“Maybe just a light overshirt?” Harry guessed. 

Liam nodded and headed upstairs. Harry finished his own glass of orange juice, before washing both glasses and putting them on the drying rack. He was just finishing a note to Louis and Niall when Liam came back downstairs and the pair headed out for town.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Niall was totally disoriented when he woke up. He was in an unfamiliar room and it appeared to be the middle of the day. It took a moment for his brain to catch up with his surroundings. Right, Italy. With the boys. He broke into a wide grin when he remembered last night, relaxing on the patio, shooting the shit with his favorite people.

They didn’t get to see each other even close to as often as he would like. It had been years since all four of them had been in the same room together for more than a few hours. He’d been a little nervous, wondering if they really had all that much in common anymore, after so much time apart. But like magic, it was like no time had passed. They still teased and joked with each other the same way, and he loved every minute of it.

He and Harry had kept in touch fairly well, as they tended to spend the most time in LA. They had been hiking a few times and Niall had gone to Harry’s show. He and Louis spoke a lot through text, sometimes on the phone, and occasionally in person. Unfortunately, he hadn’t seen Liam in quite some time. He was in frequent contact, especially in the trickier periods of Liam’s struggles with drinking, but their schedules hadn’t aligned well for the last year or so. Niall was thrilled they were all in the same place at the same time, and for a whole week!

He checked his phone and was startled to see it was already two o’clock in the afternoon. He wasn’t philosophically opposed to a massive lie in, but he was dismayed to have missed half of an entire day hanging out with his bandmates. He quickly showered, dressed and headed downstairs, in search of his companions. The kitchen and living room were empty and quiet, but he heard muffled voices coming from the back door, so headed outside.

He found the boys lounging around the pool in the hot summer sun. Louis was baking to a warm, golden tan on a chaise lounge, his eyes hidden behind his aviators. Harry was sitting in the shade, with his long legs dangling into the sparkling blue water. Liam was floating around on the water on an inflatable airbed with his sunnies on.

“Hey!” Harry called. “He’s alive!”

Louis’ head popped up and a grin split his face. 

“It’s about time, Nialler!” he called. “I was going to go check if you were still breathing, but Haz made me leave you alone.”

Niall chuckled and sat down at the foot of Louis’ chaise.

“I appreciate that, H,” Niall said. “Guess I needed the rest, but I’m bummed I’ve tossed out half a day with you lot.”

“Not to worry, Ni,” Liam reassured him. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to get sick of each other before the week is out.”

“Speak for yourself,” Harry objected. He kicked some pool water on Liam, who hissed when the cool water hit his sun-warmed stomach. “I never get sick of you guys.”

At this, the other three turned to look at Harry with disbelieving looks. They just stared at him until Harry ducked his head down.

“OK, fair enough,” he said quietly.

Niall, ever the peacemaker, had no intentions of going down that rabbit hole of angst and quickly interjected.

“So what did I miss while I was sleeping the day away?” he asked them.

“Not much.” Louis answered. “Had some of H’s delicious french toast….”

“Noooooo!” Niall exclaimed, his eyes wide. “I love Harry’s french toast. I’m so sad.”

Harry chuckled and said, “I’m happy to make french toast another morning, Ni. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Niall decided to ignore the snickers from Lilo. 

“Anything else?” he asked. 

“Nah,” Liam answered lazily. “Just chatted, then decided to take a swim.”

“It looks great!” Niall said. “Are you going to be out here long enough for me to get my swim shorts on?”

“Sure,” Harry said happily. “Take your time.”

Niall was back in five minutes. He was walking very quickly, headed straight for the pool without slowing down at all, and Harry jumped up and backed away.

“Niall, no!” Harry warned, but he wasn’t quick enough to save Liam and Louis from the great crash of water from Niall’s cannonball into the pool.

“Fuck!” Louis yelped, sitting up suddenly, water dripping off of his sunglasses.

“Aaah!” was all Liam managed before the wave hit his floating bed and tipped him over into the pool.

Niall emerged from underwater, cackling with his exuberant laugh. Liam was sputtering as he came up to the air himself and Louis was muttering about “ fucking leprachauns” and “revenge” under his breath. Harry was bent almost in half, laughing hysterically at the spectacle. It only took a minute, but Louis and Liam joined into the laughter.

All of them were remembering so many moments in hotel pools, trying to annoy the shit out of each other, while having a good laugh. It felt so good to be together like this again, all of them swearing to themselves that they wouldn’t let years go by before doing it again.

Chapter Text

After dinner, Niall came downstairs with his guitar, making the others smile with fondness. They sat around chatting, about everything and nothing, while Niall strummed aimlessly in the background. He would occasionally pick out a 1D song, which caused them all to smile and join in. He also delighted his friends by playing bits of their solo songs, as well. None were surprised that Niall knew their music, being the great friend and talented musician that he was.

After a while, Niall started playing what was clearly a melody, rather than a random song fragment. Louis was the first to tune into it, but soon the other two stopped talking and listened.

“That’s really nice, Ni,” Louis said, nodding his head up and down and staring into the middle distance. The second time around, he started humming, seemingly without noticing.

Niall and Harry didn’t often write with Louis, but Liam knew that look all too well and a thrill went up his spine. He missed writing music with Louis so much. It was probably the thing he missed the most from the band days. All of them sent each other solo music from time to time for comment, but it just wasn’t the same.

Niall started playing it a third time. Harry asked if he had any lyrics to go with the music yet. Niall didn’t stop playing but he looked down and his cheeks pinked up a bit.

“Uh, well, yeah,” Niall said, “but in my head, it’s more for us than for me.” At that, he stopped playing.  You could have heard a pin drop in the room. 

All of them had been asked, over and over for years, about a 1D reunion. But they had honestly never talked about it with each other. Harry and Louis had an unspoken agreement never to bring it up, because the breakup of the band had been so contentious between the two of them that they’d broken up for more than a year. Neither was willing to even risk mentioning it. Their relationship was way more important to them. The rest of them saw each other so infrequently that no one wanted to waste valuable time together on what felt like a pipe dream.

This was the first time any of them had said anything about possibly making music together again.

Niall cleared his throat and said sheepishly, “I know we never talk about this, and I certainly don’t expect anything at all, but this song has been stuck in my head for weeks and I can’t make it bend into anything but for the band.”

Louis wanted to ask, so badly, what the lyrics were, but he couldn’t do it. They all knew how much he fought the hiatus and how much he struggled when it didn’t end up being temporary. Of all of them, he had been the one most up for a reunion for years. But now, things with Harry were really good and his solo career was finally taking off in a big way. He honestly wasn’t sure what to think about it.

Liam also wanted to ask, but for what he felt were selfish reasons. It was no secret that he had been struggling for years, and that included making new music. Between personal demons and lack of self confidence, he hadn’t produced much of anything he was proud of in a long time. Of all of them, he would benefit the most from a reunion personally, but he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, ask it of them.

Harry had been the one to drive the hiatus, basically refusing to sign a new contract. He was exhausted and fed up and wanted out. He and Louis had been fighting constantly, buckling under the pressure from management and contracts to stay hidden. He and Zayn had fought about the new contract and had a weird pissing contest about who would be first to make solo music. Zayn threw in the towel and started the band’s self-destruction, but Harry was well aware that he had thrown the first match on the fire.

He had objectively had the most lucrative and successful solo career so far, including his world tour that just wrapped up after three years. But he was also feeling a little lost at the moment, unsure what to do next. He hadn’t written much more than fragments of songs in quite a long time, so consumed by the never-ending tour and spending any rare downtime trying to keep his relationship alive. He and Louis got much less time together than they’d like, so every hour was precious. The last 24 hours had shown him what he had been missing and he was, quite frankly, intrigued.

“Can we hear what you’ve got?” Harry asked. Louis’ head shot up so fast, they heard his neck crack. Niall and Liam both looked at him in surprise.

“What?” Harry shrugged, a little defensively. “I'm curious.”

Niall looked at Louis, seeming to judge his reaction, but Louis shrugged as well.

“Sure, why not?” he said, looking a little shell shocked.

“Oh!” Niall said in surprise. “Um, OK. Hold on a sec.” He disappeared up the stairs, while the rest of them sat in silence, looking back and forth at each other. Nobody seemed to know what to say.

Niall came back with a battered notebook. It wasn’t the same one that he used in the 1D days, but it was similar. Niall always wrote in longhand, in a leather bound journal. He looked nervous as he flipped around a few pages.

“It’s not complete by any means, but here’s what I have,” he told them. He started playing the melody he had been playing before, but this time singing along.

“The world can crumble all around us
Cities burn and empires fall
Something - something - last ones standing
La la la la  la la la
Baby, we are legend

There’s nothing that can stand between us
You and me against the world
~Indistinct humming~
Baby, we are legend”

The last note echoed through the room and Niall looked up tentatively. Liam was smiling broadly at him, Harry had his eyes closed seemingly humming in his own head, and Louis was gazing out the back windows at the rolling Tuscan hills.

“That was really good, Ni,” Liam complimented him. “Can you sign it again?”

Niall did and all of them were paying close attention. Louis’s fingers had started tapping against his leg and Liam was starting to get excited tingles across his skin. He knew that creative tic.

“‘We could be the last ones standing’,” Louis said quietly.

“What?” Niall asked.

“In the first verse, for the third line. We could be the last ones standing,” Louis repeated, then hummed the next seven beats.

“It just won’t matter at all?” was Liam’s suggestion for the next line. Niall’s eyes lit up and he quickly wrote down their suggestions.

“Can you sing the second verse again?” Harry asked.

“‘There’s nothing that can stand between us, you and me against the world’… .” Niall sang again.

Liam suggested, “Something something…. say the word, maybe?”

“How about ‘I’ll leave it all, just say the word’?” Louis spoke up.

There was muttering all around, before Harry offered, “For the third line, try ‘A life full of fame and riches’.” 

Niall and Liam were both nodding, with big smiles on their faces. Niall made a few more notes, then started from the beginning.

The world can crumble all around us
Cities burn and empires fall
We could be the last ones standing
It just won’t matter at all
Baby, we are legend

There’s nothing that can stand between us
You and me against the world
A life full of fame and riches
I’ll leave it all, just say the word
Baby, we are legend

When Niall finished, they all sat, grinning at each other. 

“That’s really fucking good!” Louis said, and started to laugh.

“Hell yeah, it is!” Niall agreed, and they all dissolved into happy laughter.

They had just written the better part of a One Direction song for the first time in almost ten years.

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, they lounged, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. Liam was still shit at FIFA, Harry still told terrible jokes, Niall still ate like a horse, and Louis still liked to play pranks. In between, they kept working on the song they were now referring to as Legend. They had no idea what they wanted to do with the song, or the two others that had somehow sprung to life, but they were just enjoying the creative process together, with no expectations.

On the fourth night, they went into town and had a delicious dinner at a tiny trattoria. Liam insisted that the rest all have wine with dinner, and agreed to be their “designated walker” to make sure they all got home alright. Louis stopped after one glass without comment, wanting to make sure his best friend was OK. They giggled and sang their way back up the hill to the villa.

“Can you believe it’s been eight years since we went on hiatus?” Niall pondered, somewhat tipsily. “Time flies and all that shit.” He hiccoughed and the other boys laughed at him.

“Eighteen months, my arse, you dickheads! Made me look like a fucking idiot with my “I promise” tweet,” Louis grumbled. They knew there was no heat behind it, as Louis had talked to each of them about it, and come to terms with it, long ago. Harry was the only one that hadn’t meant 18 months at the time, and it had been one of the big stumbling blocks to him and Louis getting back together later, after all the dust had settled.

“Well, since you think that 36 plus 6 is 38, the fans know you can’t do maths anyway,” Liam sniggered and reassured Louis.

“Oh fuck off, Payno!” Louis laughed, shoving Liam sideways. “You try doing maths on a moving roller coaster instead of just reading the questions! Niall only knew there were “too many” days in a leap year!”

“Oi! Don’t throw me under the bus!” Niall objected, and they all dissolved into laughter. It was a great night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day over breakfast, Niall addressed the table. “Talking about that roller coaster interview got me thinking about some of the other interviews and shit we got up to on stage. Do you ever watch those compilation videos?”

“Yeah, sometimes,” Harry admitted. “Some of those interviews were just awful. Do you remember the ‘leopard print dress’ lady?”

Niall immediately started cackling. “Still the best interview I’ve ever done!”

“That woman was ridiculous,” Liam said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Honestly.” 

“I’ve never laughed that hard during an interview, ever,” Harry agreed.

“I’m still bummed I didn’t get to be there for that one!” Louis said with a pout. “I would have had SO MUCH fun with that!”

“Oh God, I can’t even imagine,” Liam shuddered. 

After they each threw out a few more memories, Niall suggested they watch a compilation video together. “Just think of the hair and fashion crimes we’ll get to revisit!” he said with a grin.

“Oh, no,” Louis moaned, “not the braces!”

“I think you looked incredibly handsome in your braces!” Harry said, snuggling into Louis' side.

“You think he looks incredibly handsome in everything, Haz,” Liam said, rolling his eyes.

“That’s because he is incredibly handsome in everything,” Harry said loftily, pressing a kiss to Louis’ temple. They had been careful to keep the PDA to a minimum over the week. Not that Liam and Niall would care, but they had learned to be protective of their privacy over the years.

For the next two hours, the boys watched compilations of their funniest interviews and stage antics, ribbing each other over ridiculous outfits or hairdos or stupid things they’d said or done. They’d honestly forgotten about a lot of it. They knew the fans held on to every tiny bit of lore from those five years, but between being worked half to death and the passage of time, a lot of it was a blur to them. 

Next they watched all of their music videos in chronological order, reminiscing about the experience of filming each one. No one addressed the elephant in the room by mentioning the band member missing. They just didn’t talk about it, and never really had. They hated it when interviewers brought Zayn up after his departure. They just didn’t really know what to say.

When the History music video ended, a contemplative silence settled on the room. It was a bit hard to watch that video, knowing what had come just before and just after. Harry and Louis had barely been speaking at the time and the other boys were caught in the middle. Louis was still grieving the loss of his best friend who left without a word, and was feeling lost and abandoned. Harry felt like a trapped animal who was so sick, he could barely sing anymore. Liam was drunk and out of it all the time. And Niall was left watching his best friends collapse, like a slow motion car crash, with nothing he could really do. It was a dark time.

Liam cleared his throat and broached a topic that was previously off limits.

“Have any of you been in touch with Zayn?” he asked with trepidation. 

He saw Louis stiffen out of the corner of his eye, and Harry looked at him disapprovingly. When it was clear neither of them was going to answer, Niall did what he did best and tried to smooth feathers.

“Um, no, not for quite a while?” Niall offered. “I called him when Khai was born, and we talked briefly, but not really since then, other than a few texts here and there.”

“No, I haven’t,” Harry said, somewhat tersely. Harry hadn’t had issues with Zayn personally, and actually understood Zayn’s reasons for leaving better than the rest. But when Zayn didn’t show up for Louis’ X-Factor performance days after his mum died, he saw how much it hurt Louis. Even though they weren’t together at the time, he was pissed at Zayn on Louis’ behalf and never talked about him, if he could help it. 

“I liked a couple of his social media posts last year,” Louis said quietly. “When he posted 1D songs. At least he was acknowledging our existence, for a change.”  There was a long pause. “Have you, Li?” Louis asked. He didn’t sound upset, but merely curious.

“Yeah, actually, I have,” Liam admitted. They all looked at him in surprise. When they didn’t interject, he continued, “I also got in touch when Khai was born, and then a few times a year. Just a few texts, mostly. Then last year, we started talking more regularly?”

“You asking or telling, Payno?” Louis asked, a slight bite in his voice.

“Telling,” Liam said more decisively. “We text a lot, mostly about music and kid stuff, but we talk on the phone about once a month. He’s been really supportive about my recovery. He’s dealt with a bit of that himself, you know.”

“Yeah, we know,” Niall said, nodding. “I’m glad you’ve had each other to talk to.” He paused, then asked, “How is he?”

Liam looked to Harry and Louis to gauge their reactions, unclear if he should keep talking about this. He wasn’t sure why he brought it up in the first place. Well, seeing Zayn’s face all over the clips and music videos for the last few hours was why.

“He’s good,” Liam provided. “Really good, actually. He’s healthier than he’s been since we’ve known him, I think. Living in the middle of nowhere on a farm really seems to suit him.”

This statement was met with silence, until a small, quiet giggle came from Louis, of all people. Harry looked at him in surprise, which made Louis actually laugh. Once he started, he couldn’t seem to stop and Harry looked on, baffled. Soon, Niall started snickering before devolving into his signature laugh. Liam started laughing at the other two laughing and eventually Harry smiled, shaking his head at his lunatic bandmates.

Louis started to calm down, so Harry asked him what was so funny.

“Living in the middle of nowhere makes perfect sense for Zayn,” he said, sniffing back his laughter. “But a farm? Zayn?! Picturing the “bad boy from Bradford” with a quiff milking a cow is just….” and Louis dissolved into giggles again, this time taking Harry with him.

“Yeah,” Harry gasped, “it’s really hard to picture the Zayn we knew feeding chickens or some shit.” 

Liam eventually took a deep breath to quell his laughter and continued, “Zayn absolutely loves being a father. Like, even not seeing his face, you can tell he’s lit up like a Christmas tree when he talks about Khai. It’s really cute.”

“Z always really cared about family,” Niall commented. “And he always liked kids. He used to love playing with Lux.”

They all nodded, each of them smiling, remembering the precious little girl that they all loved like a little sister. 

“How old is Lux now?” Louis wondered. “She was born in, like, 2011, right?”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “Jesus Christ, she’s almost a teenager?! I feel really old now.”

“Says the only one of us still in his 20s,” Niall said with an eye roll.

“Not for long,” Harry muttered darkly. 

“But still as beautiful as ever,” Louis said, before giving Harry a gentle kiss.

Niall and Liam made fake retching noises at the couple, but it was all in good fun.

From there, the subject of Zayn was dropped and the conversation moved in other directions.