Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 PROLOGUE ONE:

INT. BATZORO'S EVILIOUS CATHEDRAL - FINAL BATTLE

[ The Tango Tiger Army makes it into the ruined gardens where the dark god Hierophant is]

 Tiger

 Ah shit, this is the final battle, raise up your blades everyone!

Darku

About time! 

Zeldelgard

ALRIGHT! LETS FINALLY FUCK SHIT UP!!!! AHAHAHA!! [Swings his blades around]

Arkdev

Hahaha chaos has been brought upon you, Hierophant! 

Suni

I could solo this whole map if I wanted to! Hang on tight Mr. Ribbit, Things are gonna get messy! {His frog goes leap around him}

Potatofu

Let’s just get this over with so I can finally be away from these irritating maggots and come home for my son. He must miss me sick. {he sighs}

Yella

{she puts her hand on Potato’s shoulder and laughs} I’m sure Lupin can survive just a little while away from his parents. He's been through this many times. Plus, he is going to be ten next year, he’s big boy!

Potatofu

I know, I just can’t help but feel bad for him, ya know? Not being able to spend time with him often since we’re always away on missions and battles. He is growing too fast, I’m starting to hate that. It’s like it was yesterday that I first held him in my arms.

Yella

Awww look at the usually rude and stern Totafu getting all soft about his baby boy.

Potatofu

S-shut up, it’s not like you’re not guilty of this either!

Noise Fanboy

How dare you not give me the Sephora Robe, Tiger! 

Hierophant 

 You utter fools! You have walked right into your death! Your blood shall bathe the fields on which you stand! 

{After 12 turns of spending more hours on the divine pulse screen than actual gameplay}

Tiger 

Ah shit, I have no divine pulses left and I don’t have proper strategy beat for this stupid map…I guess this is really the end isn’t it? No more burnt waffles I-

{A tiny floating mankete gets spawned} 

???

Did you summon me here? 

Tiger

Who are you? 

???

I am nobody, but you seeked for guidance, yes? 

Tiger

Yes, I’d take anything at this point. I'm done with all this shit, I'm tired of being the main lord of the story. 

???

Alright then! Soooo you want to defeat this map fast possible, correct? I know exactly what you need, I call this the ✨ Waffles Strategy ✨

Tiger

Waffles Strategy...? What does that do? 

Potatofu

WAIT! Tiger, you’re seriously trusting a damn child on military advice??? Even a pebble has more common sense! 

Tiger

Potato, I don't want to hear it. [He puts on a smile for Potato, trying to keep his cool]

Potatofu

Are you trying to get the entire army massacred??? This is utterly outrageous! How stupid are you enough to entrust this life of death battle with this glowing tiny loli little chick?!

Tiger

Potato, this is final fucking battle of this whole darn journey. I want our army to get this whole fight over with, and we've been given an opportunity on how to kill that comically evil god, and you're telling me to ignore it? Don't you and your wife want to go back to your son and finally live a war-free life after this? 

Potatofu

OfCourse, I do, I'd give up everything to spend time with him! But the problem, you're making really risky decisions here without thougt that could potentially put everyone here and your whole kingdom in big danger! What's been going on with you, these recent years? You've changed so much! Why can't we just clear this map and kill Hierophant normally? 

Tiger

...

Suni 

Yeah Captain, are you sure you're being fair with us? Trusting a stranger on our fate for this?

Noish Fanboy

Are you really going to give this all up after everything we've been through? 

Darku

Yeah 'your majesty,' do you want us all to die all because their arrogant, irresponsible leader?

EveningRose 

What happened to the old naive, hot-headed, cheerful Tiger we knew long ago? 

[All the other Tango Tiger soldiers go up to him, asking so many questions on why he's trusting this stranger on their fate of this last battle together.  Some even question why he became their leader in the first place. This overwhelms Tiger, makes him go insane almost. He's been through a lot this whole journey as a soldier, is he really willing to die now?] 

Tiger 

{His remaining patience for any of this explodes}

CAN YOU ALL PLEASE YOUR SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH FOR ONCE?! Always complaint, after complaint! I cannot control everything and fix all of your problems all at once, so please, SHUT THE HELL UP! 

Suni

Uh oh, Captain’s crashing out..

Darku

Geez, calm down. What did we even do to you? 

[Everyone goes silent and steps back from him]

Tiger

Thank you…

{He gives another a forced smile to everyone}

???

You are wasting my time, do you want to listen to how my strategy works or not?! 

Tiger 

{Turns back to ???}

Yes, sorry for all the interruptions. Keep going on

???

The strategy is to split up your army into two, make your armored units to where the enemies with tomes are, put your cavalry units and beast-stone users where the enemies with riderbanes and beast killers. And one final thing, put your fliers where there are more archers.

Tiger

Eh…

{His mind is blank after she finished her last sentence}

Yeah...It's good enough 

Potatofu

Did you not listen to anything she said??? That is the most ridiculous strategy I’ve ever heard! Is the rest of your army even listening to any of this?! 

{No one is paying attention}

???

Do you fully accept this plan?

Tiger

{Ignores Potatofu} 

Yeah whatever, I accept…

???

Good [She gives him a malicious smirk]

{The two shake hands in agreement} 

Potatofu

No! What are you doing?! 

 ???

{She smiles as she pulls her hand away from Tiger’s}

{The scene fades…} 

Chapter Text

Prologue 2:

INT. CORNYLANDS SWEET CORN VILLAGE FORTRESS TRAINING GROUNDS

Pascal 

Hey, Numbskull! Wake up! 

{He shouts at Tiger’s face who is sleeping on a training dummy}

Tiger

…

Pascal

{He smacks Tiger’s face with a big force}

Tiger 

Ow!! What the hell was that for?! 

Pascal

Good, you're finally awake, {he rolls his eyes} 

There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know.

Tiger 

You stole that line from somewhere…

Pascal 

It doesn’t matter.

Any who, pick up your wooden sword and we must continue on with your training? 

Tiger 

Can I have 5 more minutes of rest? We’ve been out here for three hours! 

Pascal

Your excuses are weak. Now, let's continue on where we left off.

{Suddenly, blue tiles are scattered all around the training grounds}

Tiger

The fu-

Pascal

Now little brother, come at me! 

Tiger

Can you not call me that? I'm a little kid anymore, I'm a man now! [He grunts]

Pascal

You may look like a man, but it doesn't mean you act like one. Now, come at me! 

Tiger

Here it comes! [He lunges himself forward at Pascal]

Pascal

While our other duels were just for training and practice, this time I require you to do this. Do not swing timidly, without resolve. You must genuinely try to kill me. 

Tiger 

I feel like you stole that line from somewhere. But I’ll do my best I guess… {He holds on tight to the grip of this sword, and positions in his battle stance}

CHAAAA!!! [He swings his sword at him]

Pascal

Just swinging won’t get you anywhere, perform all those skills I taught you! 


Tiger 

I’m trying, geez!!! But you’re so strong! How can I beat someone like you? 

Pascal

[Strikes him in the stomach] Weak defense!

[Hits him in his armpit] Focus on you defense!

Tiger

Hey, no fair!!! [He attempts to block Pascal’s attacks with his sword, but Pascal’s  good strength makes it harder]

Pascal

Tiger stop defense, now attack me seriously! 

Tiger 

Okay, do you want me to focus on defense or offense? You are so confusing!

Pascal

You focus on both! 

Tiger 

Damn you [He thrusts himself with his sword once Pascal’s defense is open] 

Pascal

There you go, continue doing that!

{After some fighting and healing from vulnerables, Tiger finally beats Pascal and gains his first level up}

Tiger

Alright! Sweet, first level up ever! 

{Ends up gaining only +1 in skill}

Aw what was that?! 

Pascal

Skill issue

Tiger

Oh shut up! How did you think I did? 

Pascal

You...didn't suck. But you still need to work on your sloppy form.

Tiger 

That’s probably the most positive thing you’ve ever said to me my entire life.

Pascal

I guess you really did improve as we practiced! 

Tiger 

{his eyes lighten up}

Does that mean I get to finally go on some real missions and hunt down some thieves with you? 

Pascal

Absolutely not!

Tiger 

Brother, what’s the point in all of these intense training sessions when it’s never gonna be put to use when real danger comes? 

Pascal 

I just don't think you're ready for that yet.

Tiger

How much time do I need to practice until I am  ready? I've never outside of Corny Lands ever since I was three. I always have to rely on stupid books and tales from Baltie to get an idea of what the outside world is like. Why is that?  

Pascal

Isn’t it obvious? We’re in the middle of war times. Someone as reckless as you could get immediately killed if they're not careful. 

Tiger 

So what? You can’t just keep me hostage in this small town like a sheep in the barn till the day I die!!

Pascal

It’s my responsibility as your older brother to keep you safe. It was a promise I kept shared with our mother many years ago. Plus, Life is much more peaceful living in this village than constantly being put at danger in a war. Everyone in this village has a role to help everyone in the village out.

My role is being the village’s lead mercenary who goes on missions to help defend the village from great danger. Your main job is to watch over the cattle and sheep as a shepherd. 

Tiger 

Which is the most boring job ever. I want to fight some bandits like you do! That’s way more interesting than being a babysitter for a bunch of sheep who do nothing all day but stand around and eat grass.

Pascal

I don’t wanna hear it. 

{He crosses his arms and walks away} 

EXT. THE SHEEP FARM

Tiger 

{Leans on the field while angrily kicking a small rock multiple times} 

Noish Fanboy

Hey Tiger, you look upset. Did something happen at the training grounds?

Tiger

You know, my older brother being overbearing as always. {he continues to kick the rock}

Always underestimating and doubting me. Always going off with his lectures saying how “I’m not ready” and stuff. It’s irritating.

Noish Fanboy 

That’s the typical old brother for ya. But Tiger, he is trying to protect you.

Tiger

Then what’s the point in all those intense sessions and duels with the sword when my skills are never gonna be out to use during real danger? It’s pointless!

Noish Fanboy 

You have to work through it, I guess. 

Tiger

Wow, very helpful advice you gave me, Baltie.

{He says in a sarcastic tone}

Noish Fanboy

I was just saying, maybe like try to do something big that will make him stop underestimating you? I don’t know…{he shrugs his shoulders}

{Baltie and Tiger see someone running towards Pascal in a panic they decide to hide behind a thick pole to overhear their conversation}

Not Gatekeeper  

Pascal sir, I have something to report! The Bitter Butter Corn village up northwest has been raided by a band of thieves! The knights there are currently trying to evacuate civilians and they’re begging you to come and hunt down those thieves. The thieves have set many houses on fire! 

Pascal

Oh dear, this really is concerning. Don’t worry, I’m there as fast as possible. Tell them they don't need to worry about paying me after this.{He picks up his axe and jumps on his horse}

Pascal

Tiger, I have to go handle something real quick.  Make sure to watch over the house for me. Forward now, Bella! {His horse takes off}

Tiger

Yeah, sure. 

Noish Fanboy

Oh dear, we haven’t had as bad as an assault on the village in a while. Hopefully the villagers there are okay. Tiger, are you even listening? 

Tiger

{Thinks to himself} 

Hmmm, didn’t Baltie say something earlier about doing something big that would change my brother's mind on me proving my worth? Hmmmm, I’ve never fought anyone seriously with a sword outside of the training grounds so…hmmm… Ah yes, perfect.

{he grins.}

Noish Fanboy

Tiger? Hello?!

Tiger

Sorry, what were you saying? 

Noish Fanboy

I was saying that I hope the villagers made it out of the village safely. You need to stop getting in your head so much!

Tiger 

Yeah whatever. I'm going to go back to the house real quick 

Noish Fanboy 

See you around, I guess? I'm going to the stables to clean Bella's hooves. 

Tiger 

Yeah see ya later. [He walks to the direction of where home is, still being mischievous of what he's about to do.] 

(Still don't think I'm enough, big bro? We'll see about that soon...hehehe)

Chapter Text

Chapter One: One reckless Tiger at a time

Tiger 

[ He unlocks the door with the key Pascal gave him. He walks inside the house and looks around, home sweet home.  He walks pass the dining table that has a pile of dirty dishes that Pascal hasn't washed due too not being home often from his busy mercenary work. Tiger himself wouldn't be bothered to clean anything unless forced. He could smell Pascal's leftover stew boiling in a pot not too far away from the dining table. Pascal isn't the best at cooking, but he tries his best. Tiger would get so happy when EveningRose(The medic of Pascal's merc gang) would come over to cook supper for them. It was a chance for Tiger to know what actual good meals taste like. She would teach to Pascal new recipes every now and then.]

[Pascal and Tiger's household of the 'lucky' ones to even have a second floor and two separate bedrooms. One of the rooms upstairs had a bunch of trophies, a collection of armor and a chest filled with all kinds of weapons in there. Everything in the room is well organized and neat, even the big desk with big a stack of papers on it. The other room was the complete opposite. The other second had an undone bed and a bunch of books and clothes scattered around the floor. I guess you tell whose room is which]

Tiger

[Tiger walks into Pascal's room and opens up his chest, and takes one of his iron swords. Tiger always wanted to hold one of these. He also takes and wears Pascal's red cape.] 

[He poses in the mirror] Dang, I look badass, 

You wouldn’t be too mad off at me for this, right brother? Eh, I'm used to your daily lectures.  

{He runs out of the door}

{When he was headed to the raided village Pascal was riding too, he runs past a horse stable}

Noish Fanboy

{Taking care of his horse in the stable}

Hey! Where do you think you are going?

Tiger 

Proving my brother wrong about me

Noish Fanboy 

Huh? What are you talking about? 

Tiger

You said I should do something extreme for my brother to stop doubting me. So by that, I must prove I can defend myself from real danger from those swordplay lessons. 

Noish Fanboy 

Yeah I said something extreme but not this extreme! I don’t think you’ve never actually fought someone seriously with the sword, right? 

Tiger 

Oh come on, my brother trained me well. Those weekly sessions at the training grounds should've been enough. We'll never know how I’ll do during face-to-face real combat

Tiger

{He runs off} 

Noish Fanboy 

Hey!!! Wait up! 

{He pulls Dorothy out of the stable and rides on her chasing after Tiger}

{Tiger sees a bunch of farmers and milk maids run the opposite direction of him} 

Farmer 

Boy, Bloody hell do you think you’re going?! We’ve been raided! They took all my money! 

Milk Maid

AHHHHH!!!!! [Runs while holding two heavy buckets of milk]

Tiger

Going on a hunt! 

Farmer

Boy are you insane?! 

{Sees Tiger still going towards the direction of the village}

Hey, come back! You’ll get your head chopped off! 

Noish Fanboy 

{Confronts the Farmer a few seconds later after Tiger ran passed him} 

Apologies about my friend, I'm going to get him back. Just run for now! 

Farmer 

Hey! What?! Someone, stop those reckless kids! They’re gonna get killed! 

Noish Fanboy

{Still chasing after Tiger on his horse}

Tiger! Enough of this! These ‘wild beasts’ you speak of are not the same as training dummies at the training grounds! These guys can actually kill you! 

Tiger 

{Stands in the center of the village where there are burning buildings surrounding him and people escaping} 

COME AT ME YA SCUMBAGS!!

Noish Fanboy 

Tiger, what are you doing? What is going on with you?! Are you sure you can even take on these weird looking big guys looting the entire village? 

{Tiger sees a big nasty thief forcing a maiden and a little girl to give up their money} 

Maiden 

No way in hell am I giving up my house for the likes of you horrible people. [Holds tight onto her daughter]

Little girl

Wahhhh Mama!!! 

Tiger 

 Charge!!!

{runs towards the bandit} 

Maiden

What is that wacko boy doing? 

Bandit G

{He turns around} 

{Tiger strikes him with his iron sword and the bandit's axe falls out of his hand}

Bandit G

Gahhh!! What the hell?! 

{He dies}

Tiger

{His exp raises}

Let’s go! Exp time!

Maiden

Exp? What are you talking about? 

Tiger

Uhhh nothing

Tiger

Well, What are you two waiting for? I let you guys free, suggest you and you kiddo to flee and go save yourselves!

Maiden

R-right! 

{She picks up her daughter and runs away} 

Tiger 

{He thinks to himself}

So Baltie, what were you saying about me not being able to take on these guys? 

{He continues to barge into the houses where the thieves are looting them and attacking them like a lunatic making the thieves drop the stolen stuff} 

{This process goes on for another 10 minutes} 

Noish Fanboy 

Tiger! Where are you?! Stop this! 

{He’s looking around the ruined village looking for him} 

Tiger 

{chases Bandit F out of a house} 

Bring your gang of friends next time! Aha! 

{Tiger picks up the stolen big bag of jewelry and gold that the bandit had dropped}

Noish Fanboy

{He spots Tiger and charges Dorothy to go stop in his direction} 

Tiger! There you are! Enough of this! 

Bandit Leader 

You! You’re the one that dropped that huge bag of booty! Explain yourself! 

Bandit F

{Escapes into the ally injured and run towards to the rest of the thieves} 

C-Captain, That dumbass boy over there is acting kookoo and made me drop it 

 Bandit Leader

Pfffttt!!! You got beaten up like the way you are by some wild kid? Weak excuses!

Bandit F

Shut up, It doesn’t matter anymore! All it matters is that the boy’s still got our big bag of booty!

Bandit Leader

Then you’ll show us where this ‘boy’ you call that made you drop the bag. 

[Meanwhile with Tiger and Noish Fanboy]

Tiger

So sad Pascal isn’t here to see this. 

Noish Fanboy

T-Tiger! What the hell is wrong with you?! How are you so calm after killing someone for the first time! And whatever you were doing in those houses!

Tiger

According to all fire emblem games, killing is okay as long as it's mean bad guys. And what I did, atleast 

Noish Fanboy

You make no sense right now, let’s just get out of here before-

{More bandits start increasing circling the two}

Noish Fanboy

TIGER LOOK OUT! 

Tiger 

What? 

{A bandit hits Tiger’s arm with his axe}

Tiger

AHHH SHIT!!!

{Grunts in pain while holding his bloody arm} 

Noish Fanboy

It’s okay Tiger, I got this! 

{stabs and kills the bandit with his lance}

Are you okay?! Oh dear, that cut looks bad…

Tiger

I-I’m fine, Baltie...just a little sting, ow...

{More bandits start surrounding them} 

Noish Fanboy

How many are there?! 

Bandit Leader 

So Bandit F, were these the kids that are guarding the bag? 

Bandit F

That one, the one with the bloody shoulder! 

{points at Tiger} 

{Tiger hides the bag behind him} 

Tiger

Nothing to see here..

{Noish Fanboy and Tiger start backing up}

Noish Fanboy

Tiger, I hate you so much, you’re the one who dragged me into this mess!

Tiger

Dragged you?! You chased after me! 

Bandit Leader

We’re having a feast tonight, alright! 

{A sound of horse galloping is heard coming towards their area}

{Bandit Leader turns around sees a Paladin charge towards him}

Pascal

Enough of this! 

{Glides through three bandits while riding on his horse}

Noish Fanboy

Incredible…

Bandit Leader

Oh look who it is, It’s the great one-man mercenary himself here to save the day! 

Pascal

Oh look, it's my most obvious suspect of all this. How many times have you looted a village on a nice sunny day where I'm off? 

Bandit Leader

Haha! You know me! 

Pascal

*sigh* When are you ever gonna learn? [Pulls out Axe]

Pascal

Now who are the kids you and your crew are ganging up on? 

{His eyes widen in shock}

Tiger?! Baltie?! 

Tiger

{Tries to act normal}

H-how’s my favorite older brother doing? 

Pascal

I told you to stay back! You even stole one of my swords! And now you’re hurt! 

Noish Fanboy

Sir I’m so sorry for this madness!  Tiger he-

Pascal

Now now Baltie, we can talk about this later. 

I’m more pissed off at THAT one right there

{He glares at Tiger}

Tiger

Hey! We did fine on our own before you came! Right Baltie? 

Pascal

For sure with that bloody arm.

Tiger

I was just caught off guard! 

Pascal 

I’m guessing they’re after that big bag you got. 

Pascal

{He looks at both Tiger and Pascal} 

Well, since there’s no way for you two to escape in this position. Especially since Tiger got injured. So…Tiger you stay back and Baltie, defend yourself! 

Noish Fanboy

OfCourse Pascal sir! *picks up his lance*

Tiger

Wait! I can still fight! 

Pascal

Are you actually stupid?! You still want fight and you have a badly injured arm?! No way! You weren't supposed to be here in the first place! You should've just stayed home like I asked you too! 

*sigh* This is a disaster…

{A mysterious cleric runs into them}

???

Do you guys need help? 

Pascal

EveningRose! You’re very late! 

EveningRose

Sorry, I had really bad hair day today!  You know a lady must like presentable when going out. Is everyone alright? 

Pascal

You really need to stop overacting about your looks so much, a lot of villagers suffered major injuries and you weren’t there to help. 

EveningRose

My apologies, sir 

Pascal

Where is Potatofu and Rdoc?

EveningRose

Too drunk to come over here..

Pascal

*sigh* Ofcourse, always making me do everything myself.

EveningRose

It’s like as if me and you are the only mercenaries actively going on missions nowadays.

Pascal

Pretty much, anyway please take care of Tiger’s wound and try to find a way out of this dangerous place while me and Baltie take care of these bandits.

EveningRose

{Looks at Tiger’s injury}

Oh! A wound like that isn’t so bad to fix!

{She uses her staff to heal Tiger’s arm}

Tiger

Wow! That was fast! Hey, I don’t feel any pain anymore!

Pascal

Good, Now EveningRose, get him out of here so he doesn't attempt to do more stupid things. 

Tiger

Wait! I’m fully healed now, I can fight!

Pascal

And then risk you getting hurt again? Absolutely not! You weren’t even supposed to be here! 

Tiger

Wait, Pascal! Before you came and me and Baltie getting ambushed, I actually was able to handle those guys! 

Pascal

Is this another one of those lies you make up again? 

Tiger

No! Baltie even saw me! Me running into the houses warding off all those nasty bandits and making them drop the stolen loot..

Bandit Leader

Are you those done chatting?! If you all want your lives to be spared, give us the bag. 

Pascal

Sorry, but I didn’t travel this far just to fall down on my knees to you guys.

Bandit Leader

So you chose the hard way…Get ready boys! 

Pascal 

You know what…Defend yourselves everyone! Even you Tiger! 

Tiger

Alright! *Grabs his sword*

EveningRose 

To make my ✨glamorous✨ myself useful, I’ll be healing from behind if you guys are hurt. 

Noish Fanboy

Please try to not make any more reckless decisions, Tiger…

{He gets his horse and lance ready}

{Player Phase}

Pascal 

Alright first off, Three weapons have a triangle with one having advantages over another. 

{Tiger attacks and easily dodges a bandit with an axe}

Tiger

That was somehow easy…

Pascal

Ah yes, since you are carrying a sword. The sword you stole from me; you have a better advantage over that bandit since he’s carrying a sword. Which means you are more likely to give more damage and more likely to dodge his attacks. 

Tiger 

Well that’s sweet! 

Noish Fanboy

Alright, I’ll take the final attack for this bandit! 

{He ends up leaving the bandit at one hp and takes 5 more damage than expected}

Ow! How come he was much harder than me? 

Pascal

A yes, that’s mainly because while swords have an advantage over axes, it doesn’t go for the same for lances. It’s more axes have an advantage over lances.

Noish Fanboy

Well that sucks…

Tiger

Should’ve brought a sword instead, Baltie

Pascal

*sighs* Just let me finish him off

{Kills the bandit}

Evening Rose

You’ve got a chatty brother right there, Pascal.

Pascal

Trust me, it gets a lot worse from here.

{-Enemy Phase-}

Tiger

Huh? Why can’t we move all of a sudden?

Pascal

Ah yes, cause this is called ✨ gentlemen’s war ✨

We must be polite like gentlemen, and wait for the other side to attack before we make our next move. 

Noish Fanboy

But Sir Pascal, this is the medieval time. Gentlemen’s Warfare wasn’t a thing until the 16th-

Pascal

I’m not the one who makes the rules so just shush and just obey it.

Also Tiger, careful for that lance user, swords are weak towards lance-

{Lance bandit user somehow gets a crit on Tiger. Luckily, Tiger was left at 1 HP}

Tiger

AHHHHH!!! What the hell?! 

Pascal

It’s this early and you got crit? Damn…I guess that’s the result of a low luck stat. 

Tiger 

Shut up.

{ The other start making their moves}

EveningRose

Need some healing Tiger? Here, let my ✨Shimmery and Glorious✨ do the trick! 

{Heals with Staff} 

Tiger 

Wow, how does it heal so quick? 

EveningRose

A lady’s love ❤️  

{After a turn later, Tiger gets another level up}

Tiger 

Lessgo! 

{Ends up gaining +1 in skill only again }

Again?! This system is rigged!!!

Noish Fanboy

{Levels up and gains +1 and every stat except res}

Jackpot! 

Tiger

No fair! 

Noish Fanboy 

Skill iss-

Tiger

Shut up, at least I don’t ride on a horse to get around! 

Noish Fanboy 

Atleast I still don’t block with my-

Pascal 

Cut it out, this is a battlefield. 

Not a daycare. 

{After a few turns, they make it up to the bandit leader}

Bandit Leader

You damn maggots! You’ve made the wrong decision! Now give up that big bag of booty you got! 

Pascal 

My guy, most of your crew is dead and you’re surrounded. It’s time to surrender. Now.

Bandit Leader

Never!

Pascal

I think we're gonna have to kill this guy. 

EveningRose

Why not get him arrested and send him back to prison? 

Pascal

He will just find more ways to escape and then raid other villages, It's a whole cycle! 

Bandit Leader

Can’t believe it. My crew was wiped out by two inexperienced children and you. 

Tiger

I’m 19 and Baltie's 18, We're not children! 

Bandit Leader

Ya may look like a man, but you act like you’re 12. 

Tiger 

You take that back! 

{Attacks him and then the bandit leader ends up attacking back and leaving him at 4 hp}

Ow!!! Hold on, you said Swords have an advantage over axes! How come I do any 8 damage!

Pascal

Isn’t it obvious? The boss is like 2 levels higher than you.

Pascal

Let me handle this 

{One-rounds the Bandit Leader}

Bandit Leader

Defeated by a bunch of weaklings…[Falls onto the floor and dies]

Pascal

*sigh* I guess that’s over. It’s unfortunate he ended up like this.

Tiger

But he looted and burned people’s houses! He deserved his fate for sure!

Evening Rose 

At least the bag is safe.

I'm gonna go check if all the villagers are alright and alert them that the bandits are gone.

{After securing everything and everyone}

Pascal

Tiger…

{He crosses his arms}

Tiger

*sigh* I already know what you’re gonna say…

Pascal

What in your right mind were you thinking?! Sneaking out and running into a village that was experiencing an invasion and making your best friend run after you in this mess?! If I somehow didn’t arrive in time, you both would’ve been food for the worms and birds.

Tiger 

I wanted to prove that I wasn’t some weak delicate little boy who always needs protection. And that I can take on a fight.

Pascal

That is NOT the way to prove yourself. What if something actually happened to Baltie? Whose fault would that be that his best friend died from trying to stop your reckless decisions.

Tiger

…

Pascal

You are banned from ever laying a hand on anything for combat.

Tiger

What?! Did you not pay attention to how I performed in that battle?! I killed like 5 of them! Even though this is the first time I’ve been in a real battle! I know what it’s like now! 

Pascal

That's only because I was the one ordering you to make the attacks and even helped take on the final hits.

Tiger

What’s more, do I have to prove it to you?! When is the time you’ll ever be satisfied with me?! 

Pascal

I’m only trying to protect you- 

Tiger

I’m an adult, Pascal! Being isolated in just a small village and doing nothing but watching sheep isn’t gonna do anything! 

I can’t allow another one of my siblings to-

Little Girl

Wait! Pascal Sir! Don’t get mad at your brother! 

Pascal

Huh? What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in the evacuation area.

Little Girl

Before you came, He saved me and my momma. All by himself! 

Pascal 

Is this true Tiger? 

Tiger

Yeah, I guess 

Blacksmith

That boy, he was running around through the house chasing all those bandits out like a wacko earlier! 

Pascal

What…

Blacksmith

He’s the reason my house wasn’t ever burglarized! 

Maiden

Oh yes, I wanted to thank him earlier for that. Remember me, Tiger? 

Tiger

Of course I do! 

Obsessed Tiger fan girl 

Oh! Tiger looks so hot and badass when he was chasing out those bandits! Thank you our lord for creating someone so shiny and divine! I wish he was the water that I drink! 

Tiger

Okay…I’m gonna ignore whatever she said…

Pascal

So you did handle it quite  all by yourself, eh?

Tiger

Well, Baltie did help too.

Maiden

Sir Pascal, what are you thinking now? 

Pascal

Well…I guess you weren’t so bad. You're still grounded for you running inside the village recklessly and dragging your friend into danger…

Tiger

Fine, I guess I can take some fault on that part..

Pascal

{Smiles} Good, Your punishment is cleaning Bella's hooves and helping clean EveningRose's mom's workshop

Tiger

Awww man!!!

Evening Rose

{Heals Noish Fanboy’s horse}

Your horse is a strong one, Baltie. 

Noish Fanboy

She is a retired destirer. So a fight like this isn’t something new to her at all.

Tiger

Pascal! Last one there is a rotten egg! And no cheating with your horse!

Pascal

Oh, it’s on!!!

{chases after him}

{The sun sets and the scene ends}

Chapter Text

INT. SWEET CORNS MERCENARY QUARTERS

{Throughout those three months, Pascal had began to trust Tiger more by bringing him to his mercenary missions to help train his younger brother on his sword combat }

{Pascal’s in his office in the SWEET CORN mercenary quarters with huge stacks of paperwork for repairs for that what happened at the BBC village}

Pascal

{Plays with mini-Pegasus toys}

“ But Princess jellybean!!! We have to get across the gumdrop forest in order to reach the candy cane castle and achieve the power of friendship! “

RCDOC 

Captain, you've got an envelope from someone. [He barges into his office]

Pascal 

Ahh!!! [He gets startled by his colleague's sudden appearance and he quickly hides the Pegasus figurines and princess doll behind his back]

Pascal

RDOC! You know I do not like it when people come into my office at this hour, can't you see I'm busy?

RCDOC

My apologies for my sudden appearance. I sure do hope I did not disturb your...playtime.

{Tilts his head slightly to see the mini pink tiara peeking out behind his Captain's right hand}

Pascal 

[Throws the toys under his desk while his face turns to one hot-red tomato]

(Oh shit! Shit!)  

Y-you didn't see anything! 

RDOC 

I still see it, I always have known you aren't best that hiding things, Captain. [He says in a teasing manner trying to lighten mood, knowing his boss would give him a big scolding after this.]

Pascal 

They aren't what you think it is... [He tries to come up with the most convincing excuse from the top of his head]

RDOC 

Then what are they? 

Pascal

T-these are just some tools I use for my analytical battalion tactical strategies practice. You should know that about me already, that I always like to plan our future missions ahead of time.

RCDOC

Yes, you're right as ever [His response is a bit sarcastic] 

Pascal 

Now, please at this very instance! 

RDOC

But what about the letter?

Pascal

Just leave it by my desk, will you?!

RDOC 

As you wish, Captain.

[He gently sets the envelope on top of his boss's' already big stack of paperwork and files.]

Pascal

You better NOT speak of this to anyone okay? I'll make sure you get fired on the spot if you dare even mutter word about this, got that? 

RDOC 

Of course, Captain, I promise you very much.

[Pascal is staring at the expression that he wears on his face, making sure he isn't lying about keeping this embarrassing ]

Have a good day...[He scrambles out the office]

Pascal

Make you sure you shut the-and he's already gone.

Pascal

[He sits back his seat while looking more embarrassed than ever.]

Oh no, you darn almost did it again, Pascal! 

Pascal

[He sets the Pegasus figurines and princess doll back on top of the desk]

Maybe bringing you guys to work wasn't the best idea after all. But where else is there for you guys to go? The house surely isn't an option since Tiger is just really good at things, we sure can't let that happen.

[His eyes set on the envelope that RDOC had given him. He could the letter was sent from someone of nobility from overseas, just by looking at the fancy and neat type of envelope the paper was packaged in. There are hardly any rich wealthy nobles in the soils of CORNYLANDS. Heck, people could hardly say that CORNYLANDS had any official form of government. It was just a landmass with huge grass fields; mountains and a bunch of villages close together that governed themselves. The whole country itself is quite isolated to the rest of the world.] 

Pascal

I wonder why someone from some noble overseas would want to acquire some merc from a farmer country like me? [He spots on his spectacles that better read what the letter says]
 

“Dear Pascal,  

I request your presence at once. I know we haven’t seen each other in.. well, it’s best I don’t go into that. I just need to talk to you. And show you something very important. It’s about something you should’ve known a long time ago. I hope this letter finds you swift and true, 

P.S. I wish you safe travels to come here, the kingdom hasn’t been very safe"

-Mother

Pascal

What is something so urgent I need to know for me to sail overseas for her? And why did it have to take her so long to write something to me after all this time? 

Tiger

So, who’s it from? One of your many overly obsessed fans? I hope it’s one of the dude ones. *snickering*

Pascal

Why would it be any of those freaks--Tiger? Why are you here? You're supposed to be filling out that list of chores I ordered you to do this morning. 

Tiger 

Aww c'mon big bro, y'know cleaning stuff isn't really my thing. 

Pascal

You have been under my care for mostly your whole life, you should know the rules. 

Tiger 

Ah yes, blah blah blah. I'm over with your long and boring lectures. I'm not a little kid anymore! 

Pascal

I don't if you're a wrinkly old man. As long as you're living under my roof, you follow the rules. 

Tiger 

Ughhhh whatever. Anyway, what's the letter say? 

Pascal

Stuff that does not have to involve yourself in it.

Tiger

Aw c’mon, aren't I official apart of your band now technically? I'm not even a registered mercenary but I go on missions with you a lot more than most of your merc band who actually gets payed for their so called 'labor.'  

Pascal

Does any of that matter? You really need to stop getting into other people's businesses. {Sees Tiger snatch the letter from the desk}

Hey!! Give that back! 

Tiger

If you won't let me, see it, then I'll see it for myself!  [He uses his right arm to push Pascal away from grabbing the letter back]

[Seconds later, he throws the paper right back on the desk like its nothing leaving small crumbles on the near edges of the paper. The boy looks in disbelief]

No way this can't be real, when was the last Ma ever sent something to us? When I was 8? 

Pascal

I am just as surprised as you are right now. *sighs* I don't know whether to be upset she decided to ask me to visit her after more than a decade of no communication with us. 

Tiger 

Didn't you say she's a strong knight fighting in the war? She's probably too busy fighting in skirmishes and stuff. Though, I do wish she sent stuff more often...

Pascal

You have a point, but every knight or warrior would always try their hardest to keep in contact with their loved ones and always checking they're going to be okay. Even in when they are in the middle of stabbing someone's heart out.

Tiger 

You get mad at her for not sending letters to us, yet there's you who hardly talks about Ma even though you got the chance to be raised by her! 

Pascal

Raised by her? My servants taught me everything I knew. I hardly saw Mother, she was always traveling or doing her usual 'queenly' duties. 

Tiger

She's a deadbeat like Dad- wait Ma's a queen?! 

Pascal

*Sighs* I should have told you this way sooner...

Tiger 

Explain yourself.  

Pascal 

*Sigh* It's useless to hide this fact any longer now, but it is true. We are both the royal sons of Queen Muerta of Goodgaia. 

{dramatic music plays}

Tiger

*cracks a smile* Pffttt Goodgaia? What type of cheesy country name is that? I thought CORNYLANDS was the corniest! Get it, corny? 

Pascal

Tiger, you're supposed to be shocked. This is supposed to be a dramatic and shocking moment, very important for the start of your character development.

Tiger

*Takes a deep breath* WHATTTT?! WE’RE PRINCES?! OH MY GOD! SHIVER ME TIMBERS WOAHHHH WE’RE ROYALTY! WOW! IM PISSING MY PANTS RIGHT NOW-

Pascal

 I didn't mean that overexaggerating. 

Tiger

Atleast my reaction seems convincing. Why did you hide this fact from me for so long?! 

Pascal

In order for you not to be caught in the chaos between the Evilious Empire vs Goodgaia, me and mother agreed to take you far away into a war-free country where you would be kept safe. 

Tiger 

That doesn't answer my question!

Pascal

You were better off growing up as a free-roaming shepherd boy than a prince with many restrictions and having to face a lot of responsibilities. Besides knowing you, you would have been howling around the village showing-off your princely identity to everyone like you won a lottery or something. 

Tiger 

Does anyone in the village know about this? 

Pascal

Not exactly everybody, but quite a few close friends of mine do. 

Tiger 

And none of them had the thought of telling me or did YOU tell them play along with hiding it?

Pascal

Now that's not true, they just didn't think it mattered much to you. 

Tiger

You've gotta be kidding me.

Pascal

Sorry, not sorry? 

Tiger 

So, what happens now?

Pascal

Well obviously, I'm taking a ship overseas to Goodgaia since apparently since mother needs me for such an urgent reason.

Tiger 

And I'm coming with you, right? 

Pascal

I need somebody to stay back to watch the house, who knows if some very sneaky thieves around the area that are hungry to rob our home. 

Tiger 

Oh, you've gotta kidding me right now...I'll finally get the chance to meet Ma after being separated from her for so long! 

Pascal

Still no. 

Tiger

You’re really stopping me from meeting my own mom? OUR mom? I hardly got to know my own mom and you’re preventing me from the only opportunities I get to see her!

Pascal

It's far more than me preventing you from seeing her. You know, traveling to Goodgaia is still very dangerous since the country is in the middle of a big war with the Evilious Empire. The Evilious Empire have been taking control over the Goodgaian for over 6-7 years now. I can't risk you getting dropped dead those evilious bastards' throwing spears. 

Tiger

You're acting as if I'm just some weak little wimp who can't defend himself. I'm a man now! Were all those asses I kicked at Bitter Butter Corn and those all merc missions I went with you for nothing? 

Pascal 

A herd of greedy violent bandits are nothing compared to well-disciplined and extremely experienced soldiers. 

Tiger 

C'mon big bro, gimme me a chance to prove myself that I can handle these guys. This would be my first experience of going anywhere outside of CORNYLANDS in over fifteen years! What do you think? 

Pascal

Hmmmm...

[He thinks to himself for a minute or 2 before making his final decision. He knows it will have a lot of consequences to this and wants to see if Tiger can truly handle it.]

Fine, I suppose it isn't so bad of an idea.

Tiger

*His eyes lighten up* Aw hell yeah! I knew I could find some way to get through you. Maybe you're not so bad of a brother after all.

Pascal

Yeah, don't take my word for granted. Just know that this is the beginning of your journey, and that you may face harsh challenges and consequences to come. 

Tiger

Don't know what the rest of that sentence means, but yeah, I'm hella excited! 

Pascal

You should listen to what I said. May you face harsh challenges and consequences along the way of your journey of a FIRE EMBLEM Lord.

[He says the last three words with a lot of ground-breaking emotion and passion.]

Tiger 

Fire Emblem Lord? The hell does that mean. 

Pascal

Literally just means a protagonist in Fire Emblem. 

Tiger 

Ohh Fire Emblem, the dating simulator with some chess elements to it? 

Pascal

Fire Emblem is not a-well I guess you're not wrong. But that is not the point! The point is you should not treat this journey as some stupid joke and be mentally prepared for this adventure. 

Tiger

Aren't we just gonna go visit Ma from some time and then come back?   

Pascal

... [Awkard silence] Yeah, totally. Anyway, I think it is best we bring more people along the journey, just for extra back-up in case we encounter the enemies. Afterall, we are going to enter enemy territory at some point during our voyage.

Tiger

Shouldn't bringing some of your merc folks be a number one option? They're really skilled fighters. 

Pascal

Pfftt those guys? All they care about is get high on rum and sing stupid sea shanties. Those guys would anything besides do their job these days, its only me and Rose that actively go on missions. 

Tiger

Geez, I help out with your scouts more often and I'm not even a registered mercenary. 

Pascal

Exactly, they get free paychecks weekly for doing nothing! 

Tiger 

Why don't you just fire them all at this point? You are their boss. Hire people that are serious about wanting to be a merc, like me. 

[He gazes upward that Pascal, widening eyes trying to look pleading and sympathetic.]

Pascal

The problem is I can't, Potato has some really bad anger issues. Do you know the amount of crap I’ll face when I tell him, even in the gentlest way possible that he is kicked off the squad? 

Tiger

But you're the boss, you can't be scared of your own co-workers! 

Pascal

Don't act like I don't know that. Potato's a good man by heart, but my god is he very difficult to work with. 

Tiger 

So who do you want to bring now? 

Pascal

Definitely bringing EveningRose, since she'll be able to use her staves to treat us when we get injured in battle or treat my seasick.

Tiger

I could ask Baltie, he seem pretty capable of combat, just as long he's riding his dumb old horse. 

Pascal

Ha, he wouldn't survive a second in Thracia! It's so realistic over there that they are self-aware that you can't ride mounts indoors.

Tiger

Huh...

Pascal

Nothing, you'll get the joke in time as a FIRE EMBLEM protagonist.  

Tiger 

Is that everyone we need for the trip? 

Pascal

4 men on board may not be enough, how about you go around the villages for someone that has experience in archery or an axe? 

Tiger 

I don't know anyone who those weapons besides you with an axe.

Pascal

Dummy, that's why I told you to go around asking villagers with experience!

Tiger 

You seriously want me to go up to random strangers asking "Hey you have a bow or axe with you? Oh ok, now we're kidnapping you to another country- 

Pascal

Just find someone, would you?! Remember to pay close attention at their stats. 

[After some searching, Tiger and Pascal meet up again to show off on what they found]

Pascal 

Alright, this guy will be our axe user. Remember Pat?

Tiger 

That obnoxious guy? 

Pat

Ello, it is me, I am unda da wata. Plz heewp me, im drowning.

Tiger

(Ew..Not those type of guys) Nice to…meet you? 

Pascal

I’m sure you two will get along very well! You both have very optimistic personalities.

Tiger

I mean his stats are pretty great…

Pat 

As the mighty P.A.T., I shall smash through our foes with this flimsy Hatchet!!! 

Tiger

That’s very nice…

{He forces a smile} 

Pat

All foes tremble when against Notorious P.A.T!

Tiger

Rrrriiggght…

Pat

Allow me to tell you my story. I was once just an itty bitty boy living under the stairs of a hut just ‘round the corner from Barry’s blacksmith, you know the place, everything was going swell and life was juuuuuuuuust PEACHEY. Except for the fact that my mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast every morning. And I hate sauerkraut! So one day I asked her “Hey, mom! What’s with all the sauerkraut?” And my sweet divine mother she looked at me like a cow looks at a speeding wagon and she lean down real close to me and goes [deep inhale] “IT’S GOOD FOR YOOOOOUUUUU!!!” And then she tied me to the wall and put a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut ‘till I was 25 and half years old! From that day forward I vowed that-! 

Tiger

Alright! That's good enough! You’re very…compassionate about yourself! 

Pascal

Awww you guys are getting along already! Besides that, did you find an archer? 

Tiger

This guy right here!

DrunkDemoMan

[He walks out from behind Tiger nonchantly slouching with the nonchalant expression on his face with very noticeably eye bags under his lids. Pascal could tell he was a real..GBA archer slacker,]

What's good fellas…

Pascal

{looks at his stats} HHHHHHURRRLLL!!!! Those are really some real…skill you’ve got! 

DemoMan

Nah, its really nothing,

Pascal

{Pascal whispers in Tiger’s ear}

Is that the best option of an archer you can find? His strength and defense are embarrassing to look at! 

Tiger

He’s the only person in this village who has SOME type of talent with a bow and arrow…

Pascal

What about that retired old man? He’s got decades of experience of being a sniper!

Tiger 

Can’t risk him possibly getting a stroke along the way. 

Pascal

{He shakes Tiger} Tiger! You had one job! 

Tiger

But you said to anyone with experience! 

Pascal

This guy looks like he just read a paragraph about archery, so he picks up a bow and arrow and just claims, “ Oh look I’m an archer now! “ He’ll be a liability in battle! We cannot afford any distractions in this journey-

{A whole group of DemonMan Defenders get spawned and point their swords at Pascal}

DrunkDonutsMan Defenders

How dare you refer to our leader as a mere ‘liability!’ Your the liability! 

Pascal

Where the hell did you creeps come from? 

Tiger

Oh those guys? Turns out DrunkDemonMan is pretty popular around where he lives to the point where there’s a whole fanclub dedicated to him. If anyone insulted him for his mediocre stats, you’ll be facing the guillotine.  

Pascal

Don't tell me you got held gunpoint into recruiting him for as our archer...

Noish Fanboy

But sir, guns don't exist in this time period! 

Pascal

Well, they sure do in Fortress Weaves. I-i meant held at against his own will.

[He crosses his arms] Is that true, Tiger?

Tiger

*gulp*

Pascal 

You’ve got to be kidding me… Alright, settle down everyone! I want no violence!

[The defenders raise down their weapons] How about instead of violence, why don’t you guys prove why your ‘leader’ is worthy for to be our archer?

DemoMan Defender A

Well first of all he has a great skill growth! 

Noish Fanboy

ALL archers are supposed to have the great skill. That’s the point.

DrunkDemoMan Defender

Well…He’s also got workable speed!!! He’ll probably be doubling more than your other units will ever be! 

Noish Fanboy

Ermm actually, the ‘workable’ speed growth you recall is 45%. As you can see on his stat sheet

Tiger

Where the hell did you get that from? 

DrunkDemoMan Defenders

Maybe not act like a bunch of idiots and JUST GIVE HIM THE SPEEDWING-

Noish Fanboy 

I forgot to say he won’t be getting that until chapter 6…

DrunkDemoMan Defenders

…

Noish Fanboy

…

DrunkDemoMan Defenders 

GET HIM!!!

{They all hurdle up on top of the poor boy, almost cracking his spectacles]

Noish Fanboy

AHHHHHH!!

Pascal

OK THAT'S ENOUGH!!!

[They defenders don't hear him and continue beating the crap out of Baltie]

DemoMan

*yawns* Time to get my energy drink [He chugs a bottle of ale with his droopy eyes widening up]

MY LOYAL FANS, your amazing leader commands that you leave the geek alone. 

DemoMan Defender B 

*Gasps* Our king has arrived! 

[They get off Baltie to go fawn and praise DemoMan]

Tiger

What the heck did I just witness...

Pascal

You didn't tell me his followers were that aggressive. 

Noish Fanboy

My spectacles!

[He reaches a feet away from him and looks at the big crack on one of the glass] Oh no, this is my third pair in a year! Gramps will surely beat me after this. 

Pascal

[He takes a deep breath before walking up to DemoMan and his defenders]

How about let’s just make a peaceful negotiation so everyone would be happy, ok?

DemoMan Defenders 

We'll be happy with whatever our King says. 

DrunkDemoMan

Sure, yeah whatever. 

{The agreement ended with the defenders to forgive all the insults said about Demo, but Pascal has to take DemoMan as the archer on the voyage. It was also agreed that the defenders leave them alone.} 

EXT. THE SHIP

 EveningRose

Hold still Baltie, just let my staff do its work on that big bump on your head! Let my ✨magical✨ hands do the trick! 

Noish Fanboy

Ow, but it burns!

{Meanwhile with Pascal steering the wheel with Tiger watching over the waves}

Pascal

Thanks a lot, Tiger

Tiger

Me?! It wasn’t even my fault! 

Pascal

I know, I know. I guess we just have to accept that DrunkDemoMan is a part of our mini army now. Even though we technically got forced into recruiting him by his crazy ‘fans.’

But it’s okay! He just needs some experience on those enemies and he’ll make SOME use when we engage in battle. We just have to let him ‘cook’ like what you kids these days say. Did you know bows are effective against fliers? 

Tiger

We’ll probably keep a lookout on that ‘fan club’ he has of his.

{Meanwhile Pat and DemoMan..}

Pat

Underestimate the All-Mighty Notorious P.A.T and DemoMan of Doom and you’ll be the steak of my furnace!!!! No mercy! 

DrunkDemoMan

What are you doing? Its nearly midnight..

Pat

Practicing my victory catchphrases! 

DrunkDemoMan 

Why? 

Pat

{Doesn’t want to explain his tragic sad backstory}

So our foes will know the person they decided to mess with! Hehe…

…Does that weird you out? It’s fine..That’s a normal reaction from everyone else—

DrunkDemoMan 

I see, then instead of “DemoMan of Doom,” It should be ” The Destructive DemoMan OF Doom”, friend.

Pat

{His eyes perk up} F-friend? You think of me as a friend? 

DrunkDemoMan 

Sure dude. 

{He yawns}

Pat 

Alright then! Shall we rephrase it then? 

DrunkDemoMan

Of course…

Pat

{Raises up his axe}

Never underestimate the blah blah blah…

DrunkDemoMan 

*snores*

{One day later, the ship makes it past the Goodgaia border}

Pat

Hooray! Hooray! The journey has ended! Just look at that magificent sunrise! Reminds of how that beautiful mermaid eyes looked. Did you see that D-Man? 

DemoMan

[Still snoring loudly in his sleep]

Pascal

We're blessed we had a smooth voyage with attacks. I don't think see any Evilious troops guarding around the border, so we're safe. I wonder if maybe the Goodgaian Army managed to take back their border. 

{After they found a place to dock the ship near the palace…}

Pascal

{He looks up at the palace not too far away from them} Home sweet home…

Tiger 

Wow…

Pat

This is…LEGENDARY!!! The splendid architecture the-

Noish Fanboy

Hey ‘All Mighty Pat, ’I think we know how much you love how the castle looks already.

Pat

Hey! I wasn’t even finished! You guys are BORRRRIINNG.

Pascal

Settle down over there, she’ll be out here any moment, and I don't want you to look like fools.

DDemoMan

Who…? Sorry I fell asleep halfway through that because of my crippling narcolepsy…

Pascal

Oh for the love of-

???

Hey! What are you group of wussies doing on the border in the middle of the night?

Tiger

Who’s there??? {Pulls out his sword}

Pat

Beggeth pardon, but to whom are you?

DrunkDemoMan

Huh? [Still half-asleep]

???

I’d like to ask the same thing, are you guys Evilious Troops? Go back to the lands where whom you came from. 

Tiger 

What? No! Why would you think that? And why don't you show yourself? 

???

Why should I?

Tiger

You're acting suspicious, maybe YOU'RE an Evilious spy. 

???

You irritate me..

Tiger 

You know what, I'll make you come out myself! CHAAAAAA!!!! 

[He runs into an abyss of darkness right in front of him and up crashing into a tree]

Tiger 

AHHH SHIT-owwww...

???

*laughs* Oh gosh, you should've seen how stupid and goofy you looked! Hahahaha! 

Tiger

Oh yeah? Then how about this!!! [He charges into another direction]

[A bright, burning fireball is shot out of from one of the directions of darkness, coming out faster than a meteorite]

Tiger

W-what the- Did you just shoot fire at me?! What are you, some mage? 

???

A mage that’s about to kick your ass! 

Tiger

You take that back! 

Pascal

What racket are you causing now, Tiger?  

??? 

Hey, I recognize that man..Your highness?

Pascal

Who's there? 

???

{Comes out of the shadows}

Pascal

Zulera! It's been far too long, how have you been? You actually grow a few inches.  

Zulera

Hey now, are you suggesting that I was short? Besides that, you actually decided to come back. But why now? You know this place is in the middle of a war! 

Pascal

The Queen needed my help and said it was urgent, so here I am.

Zulera 

I see. Who's the idiot you brought here? {Points at Tiger} He’s the one who doesn't know how to shut up. 

Tiger 

Who are you calling an idiot? 

Tiger

Me?! You almost burned my face with those fireballs you were shooting at me! 

Zulera

Weren’t you the one that threatened first? I only acted in self-defense. [She moves her hair to the back]

Tiger 

grrrr

Pascal

Well Zulera, this is prince Tiger. You should somewhat remember him.

Zulera

The baby that would never stop crying when his mommy wasn't coddling him? Aww, he's only got more irritating

Tiger 

Well, you irritate me even more!

Pascal

And Tiger, this is Zulera. She’s a part of the kingdom’s nightly border patrol and she protects the kingdom from any enemy nation from coming in. She also works as Queen Muerta's retainer and assistant.

Tiger

That’s awesome. {He says in a sarcastic tone.}

Pat

Absolutely splendid! The way you position yourself ready to attack with that deadly fierce fire tome is-

Zulera

Alright chatterbox, I get it. I’m amazing. I know that.

Pascal

Can you lead us to the kingdom? 

Zulera

Her majesty may be asleep at this time.

Pascal

Then we'll just have to spend the night there until morning when she's up. 

Zulera 

I don't think the kingdom guards would be too happy about me bringing a bunch of nobodies into castle, but I'll try my best to convince them. 

Pascal

They won't be worried as long as they see me. 

Zulera

I see, let’s just take my carriage to get there. Hop on everyone!

{On the wagon…}

Zulera 

Your highness, I never thought you’d ever return back here. Especially when the war here is still pretty bad. 

Pascal

Like I said before, Queen Muerta sent a letter to CORNYLANDS Bitter Butter Corn Village that she needs me and it's urgent. 

Zulera

I'm surprised your ship wasn't attacked by pirates or attempted to be shot down by Evilious spies.

Pascal

Me too.  

Zulera

Still have to be cautious. Even though we took back the border, it doesn’t mean the Evilious Empire will stop their invasions on our soil. 

INT. GOODGAIAN PALACE

Pascal

Wow, this place looks the exact same as I remember. 

Tiger

CORNYLANDS looks nothing compared to this castle! Can’t believe I lived here at one point.

{He looks up at a large painting of Muerta, young thirteen-year-old Pascal and Tiger as a small infant in his mother’s arms along with their father}

Tiger 

Hey big bro, who was our dad?

Pascal

Sorry I cannot answer questions that are not relevant to the plot

Tiger 

Ok...? I guess pa's just some deadbeat who hasn't came back with the milk.

Pat

{Puts on a helmet and takes a sword from a mannequin} Here he comes, the INFAMOUS CHIVALROUS DASHING KNIGHT, P.A.T!!!

{He raises the sword up}

Zulera

Hey! No touching any of the Queen’s belongings! 

Pat

Why not?

Zulera

… Because it belongs to the queen? Is that not what belongings are? 

Pat

(P.A.T cannot comprehend such common sense despite being so mighty)

Oooo look at this shiny cup! It’s bigger than my head! {He picks it up from a table}

Zulera

*sigh* Please admit you’re just retarded 

Tiger

And please admit you’re an asshole! 

Zulera

*scoffs* Tough talk for a cunt

{A slim, tall pretty lady around her fifties in a dark purple gown walks into the room.}

Muerta

What's all the commotion down here...? {She comes into the main chambers}

Zulera

Your Majesty, did we disturb your sleep? I'm deeply so sorry, if only this idiot children could keep still! 

Muerta 

No worries, Zulera. I wasn't disturbed one bit, I like the company. 

Pascal

[crosses his arms] Long time no see, mother.

Muerta

[She seems intrigued by Tiger's appearance] You brought...

Pascal

I know you only wanted me to come, but this idiotic boy wouldn't stop whining and complaining- 

Muerta 

You don't need to be sorry; I wanted him here in the first place. He is part of the reason I summoned you here

Pascal

You didn't mention him once in the letter.

Muerta 

My apologies, I wasn't being very clear throughout the entirely of writing that letter. 

Pascal

[He mutters to himself] Like you were ever clear on anything you say. *rolls his eyes*

Tiger

Oh Ma, you have no clue how happy I am to see you! I've always wondered what it was like to remember my own mom! [buries himself into his arms without thinking] 

[She gets startled by the unexpected embrace from her young son. It's not like she often received this type of affection from people nor herself to her subjects. The concept of affectionate to others is a concept still so foreign to her.]

Oh...

Zulera

Hey, don't touch the queen like- 

Muerta 

[She's not really sure how to correctly respond back to the embrace, so she just stands there. She then pulls away from his arms, quickly returning to her stoic, professional stance as a Queen.] 

Tiger 

One day, I wanna be a badass warrior like you are!

Muerta 

Is that right...

Chapter Text

Muerta

Now everyone… come. We haven’t much time to spare. [Turns and walks towards the palace's garden]

Tiger

Uh… huh. Right.

Zulera

Your Majesty, do we really have to show them this late? 

Muerta 

Yes...That is the main reason I brought them all here. 

Pascal

Hold on there. [He blocks the door to the exterior]

Muerta

What are you doing? [She moves past Pascal heading to the door to the exterior]

Pascal 

Are we not going to get to a proper 'welcome' to your kids? To the kids that you suddenly stopped coming in contact with for 10 years. 

Muerta

I don't have time for one of your long complaints. It has been 12 years since we met in person. 

Pascal

No "how have you guys been" nor "I missed you guys so much". Not even a small gift or some treats! 

Muerta 

You know that I'm always being occupied.  

Pascal

You have tons of messengers and servants to do that for you, right? At least something to show you gave a damn about your children! 

Noish Fanboy

[Shocked to seeing Pascal swear for the first time.] 

Muerta

We've only claimed back our borders very recently. That is the only reason I was able to send the envelope safely. Do you know how many of my ships have been sunken down by Evilious Troops? 

Pascal

The Evilious Empire didn't invade the border until 5 years ago. You could have sent something those silent 5-6 years of before! 

Zulera 

Ooo mommy issues much. 

Pascal

You will hear me out, Mother. 

Muerta

Please, save this all for later. 

Pascal

Tiger barely knows you. Guess who's the one who had to raise him alone in a foreign country? Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like you were as involved in my childhood as much his. Even though we were living under the same castle.

Muerta 

...

Pascal

Oh really? You refused to take, even the smallest opportunities to spend time with me. Not even sparing one full meal with me! 

Muerta 

[She snaps] You think I chose to have so many restrictions be around you, my own son? I did my very best to spend time with you. Your little mouth always had something to say. Even when I was around, you weren't satisfied. 

EveningRose 

[Stands in between them] Perhaps you two break up, why don't we have tea and a peaceful chat instead?

Pascal

[He completely ignores Rose's failed attempt of conciliation] Was it wrong for a little boy to express his grievances about his momma not being around? 

Tiger 

Pascal, that is enough!!! [He slams his fists on the table looking angry] 

Zulera 

Not him thinking he looks all tough...

Tiger 

[He stands infront of Muerta, facing Pascal] How dare you get angry at our own mom! You always tell me to not start fights and not causing a scene. What a hypocrite!

Pascal

Stay out of this. 

Tiger

Ma shouldn't have to spend time a kid who's never satisfied and always tries to argue with her! 

Noish Fanboy

That kid sounds real familiar to someone I know. 

Tiger 

Since when did you start talking? 

Pascal 

Like you knew what it was like live within these walls with her, you could barely could when you were last with her. 

Tiger 

The point you're causing more problems for Ma than the pile of problems she already has to fix!

EveningRose 

Tiger's right in some way. I think now that the whole families together again, instead rambling on problems past you guys should refresh. To start creating new memories and a better future for the family. That's just my opinion. 

Pascal

But- 

Muerta 

I am not in a mood to continue this on any further. It's either you can come see for what I'm about to show or you don't. [She opens up the gates to the exterior]

Pascal

*Sighs* [He doesn't say a word and just follows her.] 

EveningRose 

Hopefully I helped just a little bit. 

Zulera

I mean, getting them to stop arguing is enough. 

[Muerta walks past to a grove of trees, an area that's been blocked off from guests and castle staff. A place that only the queen herself and her most trusted knights could enter.]

Muerta

[Touches trees in a very specific manner] War of ages, war of drones, War of cages, war of bones. It is now, great warriors of yore. 

[The trees all start glowing to a bright, neon green]

Pat

Woah, It's beautiful! 

DrunkDemoMan

[snarks awake] Guh-wha…?

[an elevator-like mechanism appears]

Muerta

Get in, children.

{A mysterious figure is standing behind a tree, spying on them.}

DrunkDemoMan 

Huh? 

{He looks where the figure went but they disappeared} Eh, I’m just tired, that's all…{Begins to fall asleep again}

EveningRose

Come on, we can’t leave a soul behind 

{She drags DrunkDemoMan in}

DrunkDemoMan

nggghhh

[Muerta takes them to a very secret area filled with odd trinkets, most being weapons]

Muerta

For the past decade, many archaeologists have been discovering these special weapons scattered all over the continent. Our kingdom was tasked with safeguarding many ancient relics.

Zulera

This is what took all the time for your mother to contact her kids overseas. [Tugs at Pascal's shoulder in a teasing manner.]

Muerta

Take this lance, as an example. It was wielded by a hero from a faraway land of frost and snow. They call it “The Lance of Ruin." [She shows it to Tiger] 

Tiger 

That's a strange ass looking lance. 

Pascal

[He studies all the weapons collected here] Mother...I still cannot understand what the point of showing us this.

Muerta

Choose what feels right, and I shall explain in the castle throne room 

DemoMan

Ugh more walking…Can someone give me another bottle of ale?

Pat

It’s a great exercise to burn calories though!

Tiger

Oooo {Lays his hand on the mysterious tome named 'Forseti'] 

Zulera

NO touching! {Slaps his hand}

Tiger

OW!!! You didn’t have to hit me hard, y'know! 

Zulera 

Your body is like an adult, but your mental state is that of a child

Tiger

W-well you act like an adult but your size is like a child! 

Zulera

[She pulls Tiger's ear, pinching it tightly] Did you just call me short? 

Muerta

Come on children, we don’t have much time to spare…

{After Tiger, the last person left the room, the tome that were touched unexpectedly glowed. Far brighter than it ever shined.}

{ In the castle’s throne room… }

Pascal

So…?

Muerta

Those weapons…We’ve kept them safe in the palace for many years now. We learned they have some great power that dwells within them. It is believed that the weapons each possess a spirit, from different lands and time periods.

Tiger

Weh?

Muerta

Magical ghosts in weapons.

Pat

Oooo spooky!!!

Muerta 

We’ve made sure no enemy territories ever find out about this. Especially since we are still in a war.  By the way, we also found out someone with a special power could possibly summon the spirits in those relics.

Tiger 

Really…?

Muerta 

I believe that person is you. 

Tiger

Me??? Why? Why not someone as powerful as you? 

Muerta 

I think it’s time you know the truth about yourself…

Pascal

Mother! Wait! Why now???

Muerta 

He’s old enough to know, Pascal.

Muerta 

Tiger…You bear a very special type of mark…Only those who have potential to become the most powerful warriors have the mark.

See that diamond mark on your arm? 

Tiger

So that’s what it was all this time! 

{He pulls up his sleeve and looks down at the mark}

Muerta 

You possess one of the most powerful marks of all of Goodgaia. It’s called the…

{Tension rising soundtrack plays…} 

Tiger

Say it…I’m getting hyped up about this!!!

Pat

Eek! I’m excited! It must have a very cool name like the MARK OF THE NIGHTINGALE, or even THE SERPENT MARK OF THE MOON’S FLIGHT

EveningRose

It must be a ✨dazzling✨ and ✨glamorous✨ name! 

DrunkDemoMan

{snarks awake} Huh, what’s happening? 

Muerta 

The…

Zulera

*sighs* What a drag…

Muerta

THE MARK OF DESTINY & FRIENDSHIP!!!

{Dramatic gasps from the background showcasing how mind-blowing this reveal is}

{The room goes silent…}

Tiger

...

Zulera

pfftt *cracks a smile* AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

{She rolls on the fall}

I’M DYING!!!! What a joke! What a sick joke! What type of MLP, Fairy Tail is this?! 

{Everyone else in the room starts bursting in laughter}

Tiger 

Are you fuckin serious?! {He looks down in embarassment}

Pat

That name is the definition of mid…*sniffs* All that tension for nothing! I have truly been disappointed… {He starts crying}

EveningRose

There there Pat {Pats him on the back} 

Pascal

Settle down everyone! You don’t want to hurt his feelings! The name is not THAT bad…oh wait it is…

*He cracks a smile* OH I CAN’T!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!

Tiger

{Starts hitting Pascal repeatedly}

Not you too!! You’re my older brother! You’re supposed to defend me from this, not laugh along with them!!!! 

Pascal

I’m sorry! It’s the name…I can’t!!

Muerta 

Quiet down children, this is supposed to be a serious and mind-breaking moment for my youngest son who I haven’t seen in 16 years and you're all treating this like a joke in a circus? 

Zulera

But your majesty! It’s a really cheesy and stupid name you’ve got to admit! How are we supposed to take any of this seriously anymore? 

Muerta

I will not say it again.

{She death stares down everyone}

{The laughter stops and the room goes silent}

Now, let’s restart…

Tiger…My son, you bear the mark of DESTINY AND FRIENDSHIP!!!

{Dramatic music plays}

Zulera

Ooo eee awwee!!! [She cannot take anything in this situation seriously]

Tiger

Shut the fuck up…

{The room suddenly shakes, Some very tiny debris falls on the floor}

Tiger 

Huh? What was that? 

{The room shakes even more and the sound of screaming in the outer court is heard}

{A guard runs inside}

Kingdom Guard

Your majesty! Sorry to interrupt, but we’ve been under attack! We’ve tried blocking them from reaching the outer gate, but we were too weak to handle them! They even have mysterious mages that cast dark magic! 

Muerta

Are they Evilslandian soldiers? 

Kingdom Guard

No! It’s an army from an unknown land! Possibly a cult. They all wear a symbol of their lord of what they call, ‘Hierophant.’ They also found out about the relics we have! They want to take them!  

Pascal

That’s not good. We must make sure they stay far away from those weapons.

Mother, you must stay back. Let us handle this. Who’s with me?? 

Tiger

I’m coming! 

Pascal

Tiger, we have no idea where this army comes from and what power they hold. These are not the ordinary bandits you faced before. They are actual trained soldiers.

Tiger

Ugh! I can handle it! You’ve trained me well enough! 

Noish Fanboy

I’ll bring Dorothy with me! 

EveningRose  

I-I’ll help aid you guys! *Carries her staff*

{Sees DrunkDemoMan asleep}

EveningRose

Get up! It’s an emergency! *throws his bow and arrows onto him*

DrunkDemoMan

Huh? 

{Wakes up}

Pascal

Zulera, you go get my mother to a safe place and protect her.

Zulera 

Come on, your majesty!!!

Muerta

Please be safe both of you, my sons… 

Pascal

We’ll be fine, I swear! 

Pat

Let’s go, everyone!!!

{They all run into the Outer Court}

Tiger

Wow…

Noish Fanboy

Geez, there’s much more of them than I thought! They’ve got fliers too! 

Pascal

Wait a minute…that symbol…that’s the symbol of the forbidden religion! It’s led by a dragon! They’ve been wanted for a while.

DrunkDemoMan 

Welp, it really is my battle. 

{Gets his bow ready}

Mysterious dark mage 

Give us the relics and we’ll spare your lives!!

Pascal

Never!!! Prepare yourselves everyone!!!!

{ Player Phase }

Pascal

Pat and Tiger will handle the axe users and lance users on the right, I’ll handle the mages, Baltie can tank the myrmidons, EveningRose can aid Baltie from behind in case he takes more damage than expected. And DemoMan, well…

{He looks at his poor stats again}

Follow up behind Pat! 

{Pascal attacks a mage and they attack back} 

Damn! They’re stronger than I thought! Careful for the mages, everyone! 

Tiger

Why not let EveningRose tank the mages instead? She has the highest res out of all of us! 

Pascal

We cannot afford to have our healer get hit, it’s too risky! 

Pat

Blood wrathful SMACKDOWN!!!

{He crits a lance user}

Tiger

DAMN! 

Noish Fanboy

He really is that good!

{Tiger attacks an axe user} 

Tiger

Finish him off, DemoMan! 

DrunkDemoMan 

Alright!  

{DemoMan attacks 1 damage to the axe user}

Pascal

Oh what was that?! 

DrunkDemoMan

That guy just has alot of defense. That’s all. At Least Tiger will be able to kill this guy easily on enemy phase. No biggie!

Pascal

There’s also unnecessary damage for Tiger to take by that guy! *He thinks in his mind* I knew this guy would become a liability…

DrunkDemoMan 

Well, you should’ve let me attack an enemy with less defense!

Pascal

*He buries his face in his hand*

EveningRose

Pascal sir, you took more damage than expected. Let me aid you! 

{She heals him}

Pascal 

No! You’re just supposed to stay with Baltie while all the myrmidons come after him! 

EveningRose

He’s got the weapon advantage over them anyway. He’ll be fine! 

{ Enemy Phase }

 {The myrmidons start coming at Baltie}

{One ends up getting a critical hit}

Noish Fanboy  

Owww!!!!!

Pascal

Oh shit! Baltie no! There’s still three more coming after you! 

{The second and third one leaves Baltie at one hp}

Noish Fanboy 

{Sees the fourth myrmidon coming after him}

I’m at my limit….

Tiger

Baltie NOOOO!!!

Noish Fanboy

{He fortunately dodges the 83% hit rate}

Noish Fanboy

It’s okay guys…I’m fine…

Tiger

Oh Baltie! You scared me there! 

EveningRose

Don’t get relieved so quickly, The fliers are coming! 

Tiger

They are really fast. They’re most likely to dodge our attacks. DemoMan, we’re relying on you to take care of them! 

DrunkDemoMan

On it! 

Pascal

With the small amount of damage he can do with ONE enemy, I wouldn’t get my expectations so high! What’s weird is that he’s on level with all of the enemies but still can’t do crap.

Tiger

Oh come on! That’s only the first time you’ve seen him fight! I mean, that axe user did have more defense than the other ones. I only gave him a lot of damage because of the weapon triangle advantage! 

Maybe he’ll be those guys who are bad at the beginning, but become insanely good after a while.

Pascal

But those stats…

DrunkDemoMan

Say something about my stats again I’ll call my defenders to crush your oppositions again! 

Pascal 

Alright fine…

{Player Phase}

EveningRose 

{Heals Baltie}

That should be good, drink a vulnerable too.

Noish Fanboy 

Thanks Rose *smiles*

EveningRose 

No Problem.

Pascal 

Alright, DemoMan, kill shoot the Pegasus down! 

Pat

Never underestimate The Destructive DemoMan of Doom! 

DrunkDemoMan 

Alright, I got this…

{His epic theme song gets played}

{He aims his arrow straight at the Pegasus knight in front of him}

{He strikes!!!}

Pascal

And he didn’t even fully kill the flier…

{He buries his face in his hand}

Pat

Oh…

Tiger

How are you able to double but still not kill the flier?! 

DrunkDemoMan 

*Shrugs his shoulders* I don’t know.

Pascal

I’m going to lose my mind soon…

{After a few turns gaining exp, most of everyone level up}

Tiger

Finally a level up where I don’t only have a +1 in skill! But why no +1 in strength? 

Pat

{He gains +1 in every stat} Lets goooo!!!!

DrunkDemoMan

I gained +1 in speed. Does that make you happy now, Sir Pascal? 

Pascal

No! What about strength and defense? 

DrunkDemoMan

Nah man, at least I'm more like...*picks out his nose* more likely to dodge a hit or something. Doesn't a good archer just need good skill and speed? 

Pascal

Yet still useless if they hit like a wet noodle and is as fragile as glass. 

{2 turns later…}

Noish Fanboy

*He finishes off a mage* Phew…I think we took care of the rest of them…

EveningRose

Is everyone ok? I still have plenty of charges from my GLAMOROUS staff! 

Pascal

They’ve caused more damage to the outer court than I expected. They even gave much more of a challenge than the previous enemies I’ve faced.

Tiger

It wasn’t so bad! 

EveningRose

Do we even truly know where they guys come from or what they are? 

Pascal

I assumed they all come from a secret forbidden cult or religion of an evil sorcerer led by a dragon. Those scary dark mages, their outfits looked familiar the real worry is that they know about the existence of the relics hidden in this place and want them for power.

EveningRose

We may have to further investigate this.

Muerta

{Runs towards them} Is everyone alright? It’s surprising how they made it this far into the palace. They caused a lot of damage too. I’m glad you guys were able to handle them.

Pascal

Mother! Are you alright? 

Muerta 

I’m fine. Zulera kept me in a safe place. What matter is that you're okay. 

Tiger

It was a good workout! {He stretches} Oof. Really cracked that one. 

Noish Fanboy

Something feels off…All of this. 

Tiger

What do you mean? 

Noish Fanboy

How come the commander wasn’t fighting with their own army? The enemy.

Tiger

Maybe the commander just sent them there on their own?

Noish Fanboy

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me.

Muerta

My children…Pascal and Tiger. You two have come a long way... How much you’ve matured, grown stronger and more… It is unfortunate how I, as your own mother, missed out so much on both of your lives. My two biggest regrets...

Tiger

Wait a sec. [Thinks really hard in that small brain he possesses] Don’t Fire Emblem parents usually make that emotional conversation with their kid before they-

{A powerful javelin is thrown from out of the shadows and strikes Muerta in the back}

Zulera

Your Majesty!!! 

{A frightening armored knight whose shield has the same symbol of the mysterious army they fought earlier comes out of the shadow}

‘Long live the Queen…’

{She smiles}

Muerta 

{Gurgles up blood to her throat and falls onto the ground}

Pascal

NOOOOOOOO!!

{Screen turns black}