Archive of Our Own ^beta

Vax traced the features of his beautiful husband's faces one last time, smiling fondly at his sleeping lover, and then he quietly left the room, wandering deeper into Whitestone castle. 

The years had been hard on Percy, who had finally grown into his white hair. His eyes were still bright, his mind still sharp, and his body just as agile. But he'd aged, as had they all, of course, but he, along with their other companions, showed their age. 

Vax, however, did not. He looked exactly the same as he did the day he stepped through that portal. He might not look it, and physically, he wasn't, but mentally... he felt a hundred years older than he was. 

While Percy, unlike the others, did not resent him for his eternal youthful appearance, Vax knew that it saddened him. Percy felt old, and he hated how much it showed. He'd avoid looking in a mirror, but when he had to, his eyes would linger on the now permanent frown lines on his brow from intently focusing on tinkering to pass the time. His fingers would linger on the crows feet and laugh lines at the corner of his eyes, which were there not from laughing but from pretending to. He'd pull at the skin on his hands and poke at the veins. But to Vax and the rest of Whitestone, he was still beautiful. 

Vax saw the question in his eyes when he looked at him about whether he had changed as much as Percy did. Of course he had. Being in the service of the Raven Queen was a rather strenuous job, and it had weighed on his shoulders heavily and had ripped his mind to pieces over and over again. 

He had watched the world change; his friends and family got married, had children, and went on their own adventures. And Vax? Well, he lingered, watching, and yet, unable to have anything other than his duties. He was the one who shepherded souls to the afterlife, fighting to preserve the sanctity of death, and yet... he'd never have it. He'd never feel the finality, the reprieve. No, he'd get eternity, but not the same kind others did. 

He slipped into Keyleth's room quietly, finding her standing in front of the window, nervously flexing her fingers. She had learned the spell specially for him, and it was time. 

"Are you sure about this, Vax? I... I can't undo this," she said seriously. 

Vax nodded, stepping up to her, taking a deep breath before letting it out in resolution. "I'm sure." 

"Vax..." Keyleth sighed, mistaking it for nerves. Her face was warm and kind, and Vax could tell that she understood because she, too, would linger hundreds of years longer than the others. But this was not something to be taken lightly. 

"Keyleth, I have lived a lifetime, no, an eternity without him. I have grown and aged, and the years have been hard on me as well..." he explained warmly, smiling at her reassuringly, "I have not been more sure about anything in, well, decades. Please, I am ready for this." 

Vax closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of Keyleth's hands as she placed them on his cheeks, saying the spell softly, and waited. He was good at waiting, but this was something he wanted to wait for. 

Percy woke to the feeling of an empty bed, and for a second, his heart ached all over again. Being without Vax... was like serving on death row, waiting for the inevitable end, alone. 

But soon he remembered that his beautiful, youthful lover was around, somewhere. He'd been home for a few months now, and Percy was still overjoyed at the sight of him every morning. He'd grab him, hold him, and whenever the opportunity arose, bed him. He was as insatiable for Vax as ever, and his body was just as capable as it was before... before... 

But, then he'd be reminded of how he had aged. Just the previous night, he'd been mistaken for a cradle snatcher first, and Vax's father second. 

He loved Vax, his ethereal and unchanging face, and appreciated his sacrifice. Of course he did, but sometimes he worried whether Vax loved him regardless of his showing age. It often caused a silent strife between them; with his insecurities saddening Vax. 

"Good morning, Freddie," Vax said sweetly from the bedroom door, stepping through it and closing it behind him. 

"Mhh..." Percy yawned out lazily, closing his eyes and scrunching up his nose as Vax chuckled at him as he made his way over. Vax sat down on the bed next to him, stroking his cheek and giving him a warm, and loving smile when he opened his eyes lazily. 

He took hold of Vax's hand to kiss it and immediately noticed a change. It felt different, although he couldn't place how. 

He sat up, confused, and squinted to look back into the eyes of his lover. They still looked warm, world-weathered, and wise. Just like Vax. And yet... 

Vax handed him his glasses, and Percy put them on quickly and examined Vax. 

His husband smiled mischeviously, revealing laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. Then he frowned, revealing a wrinkle on his brow. 

He twirled a strand of long, loose, silky locks with white strands in between his fingers. 

It took Percy a small while to register, and when he did, his heart jumped.

"Vax! What did you do?" 

"Im making sure people stop thinking you're a pervert, Freddie." 

"Oh, shut up. You look..." 

"Like a silver fox?  I know. It's time to look my age, lover. And I've spent a lifetime waiting to grow old with  you."

"But, Vax, you're..." Percy began to ramble, at a loss for words, then pausing," beautiful, as always." 

"As are you, Lord De Rolo. You're still as handsome as you were the day I met you," Vax praised, "you just have a little more character now. Which, for you, is saying a lot." 

Sitting up, Percy pouted at Vax, feeling conflicted about why Vax had changed his appearance. He hoped it wasn't for his sake solely and thought himself selfish for envying Vax about something that he had no control over. 

"I know you don't like it, but your face is a canvas unique to you, and it tells a story of your life and what you've been through. It shows the good, and the bad, and reminders of battles you have won," Vax explained warmly, stroking a scar on Percy's jaw, "like this one, which you got from a fight between you and Bad News." 

Vax was laughing now, and Percy couldn't help but laugh with him, "Yes, well, it had a mind of its own." 

"Hmm. A brilliant mind, Freddie, just like yours," Vax cooed, messing up Percy's hair. 

"Vax..." Percy mumbled, intertwining their fingers as he tried to hide his worries. 

"Don't worry like that, Freddie. I wanted this, okay? I wanted you and the rest to see me for who I am now. I am changed, I am aged, far more than I know how to explain," Vax soothed, "I think... I think I needed this to feel like myself. I am more than just a champion to a god now, I am a husband, an uncle, and a friend. And I am free."

"Is it a permanent change?" Percy asked. 

"Why?" Vax pouted in mocked offense, "missing your young, pretty trophy husband already?" 

Percy chuckled and rolled his eyes, letting go of Vax's hands to place them on his shoulders, and Vax immediately took one and placed it on his cheek, leaning into the touch affectionately.

"Vax, you'll live with this decision for eternity," Percy reasoned.

But Vax smiled excitedly, his eyes lighting up with happiness as he nodded, and Percy smiled dumbly. 

"And I can't wait! Don't you see Freddie? We get to live and love and be happy. We'll scetch it all onto our faces! Every time we look at each other or ourselves, we'll be reminded of all the memories we've made."

"And when I'm gone, Vax, what happens then?" Percy asked seriously, squeezing Vax's shoulder pointedly, "Will you still feel the same when you look at yourself?" 

Vax nodded, then smiled, then shrugged. 

"Aging, as well as dying, is a natural part of life. I know that better than most, Freddie, having been around it for longer than anybody ever should," Vax said sternly, looking intently into Percy's eyes. 

The thought of Vax lingering, again, after he died had been a painful thought since he'd returned and vowed to spend his life with him. Percy knew that Vax would have to grieve him for eternity, whereas he grieved him for as long as a person would serve a life sentence. 

"I know you'll be alone again, Vax, and the thought of you seeing me in every---." Percy said, trailing off to clear his throat sadly. 

"Percy? Look at me?" Vax called to him, taking his face in his hands and drawing him closer, "are you listening?" 

He nodded weakly, leaning into Vax's touch when he wiped a stray tear away. 

"I swore to you that you won't live a moment of your life without me again," Vax said, sounding as stern as Percy had ever heard him, "I won't spend a moment without you either." 

Percy frowned at him in confusion, shaking his head even as his mind connected the dots.

"Vax, no, I..." Percy mumbled, sniffling and pulling Vax towards him so that he could press his head to Vax's shoulder. Vax's body shook as he laughed warmly, and Percy cried. 

"When the inevitable happens, Freddie, you'll leave this world in my embrace. Then, I will guide you to another," Vax said, pulling on Percy's hair. 

Percy relented and turned his head to look up at Vax's smiling, understanding face. 

"Thank you," Percy mumbled softly, "but what about you? What about your matron, Vax? What about your job?"

"Well, see, I'll give it all up, quit, I'd like to call it. I will leave this world in your arms, as well. My body will remain here to rest alongside yours. I will die Vax'ildan De Rolo."

I've served a life sentence, havent I? I have paid my dues, and when we die I'll be champion no more. Your soul will be the last I guide," Vax said lovingly, "and I will do that selfishly so that I can follow you and remain at your side, always."