Chapter Text
Shang Qinghua didn't really need to have a job, not when he was married to CEO Mo Beijun himself. He kept working, though, out of a desire not to bedrot and watch anime all day (at least most days). He hated his job, just as he always had, which he was pretty sure was mandatory for office workers.
So when the Yu and Xiu came, it just made sense for Qinghua to say goodbye to accounting and stay home with them. Beijun took the longest paternity leave he could manage, and kept infant care on a tight, business-like schedule and expected efficiency from his husband and also a couple of babies.
For some reason, this expectation worked.
The day before Beijun was due to return to the office, he made a schedule for Qinghua and a list of everything he and the children would need. He led the final weekday night both-dads standup, and insisted that Qinghua recite back to him every key point.
Beijun was really lucky he was handsome.
He felt prepared to go it alone, even with two infants to take care of. He'd been doing it with Beijun for weeks — how hard could it be to do it alone?
Very, very hard, as it happened.
As soon as Beijun left, both babies began to wail. Qinghua picked them up one after the other and popped them on his hips, swaying and baby-talking, all of which usually worked. On that day, however, they were inconsolable.
"I get it," he said. "Baba's your favorite. He's my favorite too, but it's going to be okay, I promise."
He set them up in their little baby bouncers in the living room and did not hesitate for one second before turning on the TV. Beijun wanted them free from screens until a to-be-determined time, possibly college, but Qinghua had two screaming babies and no husband, so he was in charge, and that meant it was TV time.
He put on Hamtaro. Even if they couldn't understand anything yet, he couldn't subject them to the kind of thing he liked to watch.
The effect was nearly instant. Yu stopped crying first, looking in the vague direction of the giant TV screen and cooing. Xiu followed after, hiccuping a bit as she settled down. They chilled out enough for Qinghua to feed them, and then — miracle of miracles — both of them went to sleep at the same time, happily in their space-age auxilary cribs under the glow of prestige TV.
That is, until the episode ended.
Yu and Xiu woke up screaming (mood, Qinghua thought). Qinghua didn't want to mess with a good thing, so he turned on the next episode, which calmed them.
This was dangerous knowledge. Beijun would hate it. His husband would insist on soothing them with the sounds of the rainforest, maybe, or Mozart. He'd probably add some kind of intellectual stimulation as well, which was something Qinghua didn't yet understand in reference to small humans who didn't know what their own toes were.
Or maybe he'd just tell the babies to quiet down and they magically would. He could do that. Qinghua had seen it.
For Qinghua, though, it was going to have to be Hamtaro.
He meant to clean the house while the babies slept. He meant to change out of his pajamas at some point. He was even going to make himself a nutritious meal.
None of that happened.
Beijun came home to a bleary-eyed husband half nodding off to the sweet sounds of Hamtaro, and two children transfixed by the screen. Qinghua was still in his pajamas, the house was as messy as it got, and there was a bowl of snacks on the couch (a forbidden snack location).
When Beijun came to greet him and their children, he shook his head and woke up a little.
"Oh god," he said. "I'm so sorry. I did everything wrong."
Beijun went to the playpen to get Xiu and scooped her up. She giggled.
"Did you feed them?" he asked. "Did you change them? Interact with them?"
Qinghua got up off the couch and picked Yu up. Bro was hypnotized by the TV — very definitely Qinghua's son.
"Of course," he said. "I did all that."
"Then you did well," Beijun said. "Also, nothing is on fire."
Qinghua considered this as Yu grabbed at his flyaway hairs and pulled way harder than it seemed like he should be able to.
"I thought you'd be mad," Qinghua confessed.
"No," Beijun said. "I hear it's very difficult to take care of one baby, much less two."
Qinghua snorted.
"You make it look easy," he said.
"You're welcome to act as CEO while I stay home," Beijun said.
Qinghua imagined how very adorable that would be, but he knew his own limits.
"That's all right," he said. "I'll just raise them to be little Qinghuas."
"That's fine with me," Beijun said. "I love that guy."