Chapter Text
Philza had been floating in nothingness for... he didn't know how long, his only company being the warm embrace of the goddess of death.
. . .
Philza's first instinct was to breathe, filling his lungs with the frigid air of the snowy tundra. His lungs worked again. He was alive. He was home. He knew others had more lives than one, but he only had the one. So how was he back?
He'd been so careful. He was an experienced survivalist who lived on his own for at least half a decade before living with Techno. He couldn't even remember what had finally killed him.
He was standing in the comfort of his own cabin, daylight was streaming through the window, and Technoblade was standing in front of him.
He wanted to assume this was heaven.
The usually unaffected anarchist was there and smiling at him and despite the cold air all Philza could feel was warmth.
"I'm home," Phil smiled softly. He clutched the heart necklace representing his one and only life. It was still there.
All Techno could feel was relief. He swore he wouldn't cry in front of Philza, not when he was finally back. But he was dangerously close to doing so.
He reached out slowly, as if afraid Philza might disappear again, and gently placed his hand over Philza's hand over the necklace, a familiar gesture he'd done countless times. "Yeah, you're home..." he said quietly, then added with a forced laugh, "You scared the shit out of me, Phil."
"How'd I even fuckin' die? I'm so pissed. I swear I'm more careful than this," Philza complained, his wings ruffling in annoyance behind him. It took him a moment to register that his damaged wing was completely healed and back to the way it was before the explosion. That was... good? he hoped?
"You got hit by a stray arrow during that last battle. Right in the heart. I brought your body back to the cabin. I hunted down Dream after he escaped the battle and threatened to kill him if he didn't revive you."
"A fuckin' arrow? Are you serious, mate?" Philza scoffed, his heart still racing to get blood flowing through all his veins again. "Must've been a special arrow from an enchanted bow. Who the fuck even dislikes me enough to do that shit? I haven't antagonized anyone specifically that I know of."
Techno huffed in lieu of a laugh. "That's what I said too. Everyone there was like 'Nah man, we didn't see what happened, sorry.' No one claimed it. No one admitted to it. You just..." He tries to control the waver in his voice. "And you were just gone, just like that."
Philza clutched his heart necklace tighter to his chest, blankly staring at the floor, his breath shuddering in disbelief and shock. He shook his head to try to rid himself of the confusion and unease swirling in his mind.
Techno didn't like seeing Philza so worried. It made him uneasy. So he'd try his best to comfort him, even if he was stepping out of his own comfort zone to do so.
"Come here," he said, pulling Philza into a tight hug. "No more solo adventures for a while, got it? No more wandering off alone. Stay with me or Dream or someone. Anyone."
"I'll stay with you," Philza said immediately. He didn't even have to think about it; he felt more comfortable with Techno than most of the other people on the server.
"Good," Techno finally said, relieved. He was still holding tightly to Philza, but released his grip to lean back and look him in the eye. "I don't want to have to go through that again. I can't lose you."
"Alright," Philza finally grins a little bit, brought out of his mini panic attack about the loss of his only life by the pressure of the hug and Techno's words. His little smile turned into an almost amused grin. "I promise I won't go wandering off."
Techno released him from the hug. "Now let's get some food in you. You probably haven't eaten anything for the three days you were gone, unless they have food in the afterlife. I highly doubt it."
"Three days..." Philza exhales, finding it unnerving and trippy to think about having lost his only life and being dead for even that long before being brought back. At least Techno had gone and bullied Dream into reviving him. That was a small comfort that kept him from fully spiraling into panic. He followed Techno into the kitchen, lost in thought.
Techno pulled out a chair for Philza, who sank down into it without thinking, and began to dig out a bunch of ingredients to make him something. Pancakes. Yeah, pancakes were simple enough. It was too quiet, so he talked to fill the silence.
"Dream was being a stubborn fuck about reviving you."
"Well, yeah, he's an asshole, that's to be expected," Philza chuckles. "His only play to keep himself alive after antagonizing everyone on the server is his ability to revive people."
Philza is still clutching his heart necklace, trying desperately to calm his racing heartbeat.
Techno notices the avian's anxious grip on the necklace. "He didn't want to 'waste' it on you." His voice held a hint of anger. "I told him if he didn't revive you, I'd fucking kill him."
"I'm fuckin' glad you threatened him, holy shit." Philza shook his head, his mind still whirling. "Might need more time to process."
"It's okay," Techno found himself saying, his urge to comfort Philza overpowering his awkwardness showing emotion. "You're allowed to be shaken up about this. You only have one life."
"I survived five whole years in my hardcore world. How the fuck here did a 'stray arrow'..." Philza swears and mumbles to himself, seeming restless and still uneasy.
He gets up, presumably to pace, but instead just moves closer to Techno, leaning against the counter next to him. He watches absentmindedly as Techno makes pancakes.
"It was just bad luck," Techno says, wondering if he's saying that to comfort Philza, or himself. "It's not your fault."
"I have a sinking feeling the shot was premeditated by someone," Philza digs around his clothes for something. "...That totem of undying you gave me is missing. So either I was fatally shot by the same person twice, or someone stole it from me then shot me."
Techno's expression turns serious. "Fuck..." There's more emotion in his voice than he really wants to show, but he can't help it. "You think someone intentionally robbed you of your totem then shot you?" His hand tightened around the spatula, the pancakes temporarily forgotten.
"I can't be sure. All I know is it's gone. I literally wore it everywhere, Techno. And it's not here," Philza continued searching through his pockets in a panic, still not finding the totem of undying.
Techno watched Philza search, his mind racing. If someone had intentionally tried to kill of Philza to make sure he couldn't come back, that was a death warrant. He'd hunt them down and kill them without a second thought.
Techno takes hold of Philza's wrist to stop his panicked searching and try to calm him down. "Alright, listen to me."
Philza stops, but there's still a thread of panic in his gaze.
"You're not going anywhere alone until we figure this out." Techno says seriously, his expression dark with anger at whoever targeted Phil. "I mean it. You stay with me or Dream or... fuck I don't know, even Tommy. At all times. Okay?"
He was deadly serious. He would not lose Philza again.
"I want to stay with you. I'm not going anywhere without you," Philza stares Techno in the eyes, holding his gaze, his own just as serious.
Techno lets go of Phil's arm. "Good... because I'm not letting you out of my sight until we find out who did this. And maybe..."
Philza relaxes against the counter, his panic mostly abated.
"...We should tell Dream?" Techno knew how much Philza valued his privacy and independence, and being left alone and out of drama, but this was a matter of life and death. If someone was maliciously targeting Philza specifically, the server owner had to know.
"Just... think about it, okay?" He plated the pancakes absentmindedly.
"Well, I don't know about Dream, but I'll consider it. But we do need allies who we can trust. We should tell Ranboo and Niki."
Techno nodded, a small smile forming at the mention of the other Syndicate members. "Yeah, Ranboo and Niki are solid. They'd never betray us." He pressed the plate of pancaked into Philza's hands. "What about Tommy? Do you trust him enough?"
"He's got... some problems, but all the wars over the discs are over and he has them back, so he has no reason to hurt anyone. And he's been close with us before. Saw me as a father figure I think."
Techno chuckled at the mental image of Tommy seeing Philza as a father figure. "Yeah, he's always looked up to you. I think we can trust him. As long as those discs are safe, he's too focused on them to plot against anyone. His own father figure no less."
"Knowing you, though, you'll vet anyone who gets close to me and watch them like a hawk, no matter who they are," Philza gives him a small smile.
Techno smirked and bumped shoulders with Philza. "Damn right I will." His tone was dry and humored but completely serious. "You know me too well, Phil. Even if you trust someone with your life, I'll still be keeping an eye on 'em for you."
"You're the only one I trust with that," Philza said softly. His life? Only Techno could be trusted with it. "It's like you're my extra life."
"I'll always have your back no matter what happens. You know that." Techno's voice carries unsaid feelings.
"I know you will," Philza says softly, the faintest smile on his lips. He starts eating the pancakes, finally remembering they're there.
Techno's gaze lingers on Philza for a long moment. He tries to form words, to say what he wants to say. All that comes out is, "You're smiling again." He missed Phil's smile.
Philza smiles a bit bigger and drops his gaze, focusing on eating a pancake and chalking up the strange flutter in his chest to his racing heart, and not something he wasn't ready to name.
Techno notices. He knows they're dancing around something deeper. They always did. They never named it. They never had to, before.
"These are pretty good, aren't they?" he compliments his own cooking, maintaining a dry, humorous tone that usually lightened the mood.
"Very," Philza's amused grin is directed toward him again as he continues to munch on pancakes.
Silence falls again, but it's not an uncomfortable silence. It's a good silence. It's them, safe together in their home.
Philza is the next to speak up. "So why do you think Dream is a good choice to tell? About the uh... possible premeditated murder?" His tone is curious. "I know you spent some time in the prison with Dream. I don't really think he's fully trustworthy, but he does have the revive book."
Techno puts his hands on the counter and pushes himself back slightly. "Dream is complicated. Yes, he's manipulative and self-serving, but he also has a code of honor in his own twisted way. Being allowed to keep the revive book is powerful motivation for him to keep his word, once given."
Philza nods. "You probably understand his motivations more than anyone else. You spent three months stuck with the fucker, after all," he chuckles.
He digs through his pockets again, his hands closing over the gifts Techno had given him, the friendship emeralds and the enchanted compass that led to the very house they were standing in.
"All my important stuff is still here," he says, relieved.
Techno tries to ignore the warm feeling in his chest. "Good." He knows exactly what Philza had been fishing through his pockets for, and he didn't even have to see them to confirm it.
"And yes, I spent enough time with Dream to know how he thinks. He'll keep his word if it benefits him."
Philza is feeling over the surfaces of the named emeralds in his pocket, turning them over between his fingers before he pulls two out of his pocket.
"Can we get these two emeralds fashioned into jewelry?" he asks suddenly. "An earring for each of us, perhaps? I don't want to lose them, and I don't think I'd be able to lose one if it's attached to me."
Techno's eyes lit up at the suggestion, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I can definitely do that. Two earrings, you said? One for you and one for me."
"Yay," Philza says with a soft happiness and a beaming smile.
Techno reaches out and carefully takes the two emeralds from Philza's hands, his fingers brushing against the avian's palm. "I'll get them done today. You'll have them back soon."
He can't help but carefully grip them in his fist, comforted by the feeling of their smooth faceted surfaces. Is this how Philza felt every time he held these?
"You mean I'll have one of them back soon. You'll be wearing the other one," Philza corrects with a laugh.
"Yeah, yeah," Techno replies, slipping the emeralds carefully into his pocket. "We're gonna wear them on the same ear, right? To match?"
"Which ear were you thinking?" Philza grins at him.
Techno thought for a moment before pointing to his left earlobe. "How about left? I think left earrings would look better on me."
His casual, deadpan tone made it sound like he was jokingly complimenting himself.
"You'll definitely look very fancy," Philza grins, wanting to encourage Techno's pride in his appearance. "Left it is then."
Techno feels something like joy at Philza's words. Matching earrings on the same ear—that was something only very close friends or couples would do.
"Great," he says, trying not to focus on the fact that he'd just thought the word 'couple' in regards to him and Philza. "I'll get them made today."
Philza looked quietly overjoyed at the thought of having a matching earring with Techno, unable to stop a huge smile from coming to his face.
Techno's heart swelled seeing Philza's joyful expression. He reached out on instinct to gently squeeze Philza's hand, holding it a moment before letting go. "I'll make sure they're perfect," he promised quietly. "For you, Phil."
"You've said something like that before," Philza gives him a gentle, affectionate smile. "I think you said, 'For you, the world, Phil.' It's always stuck with me from the moment you said it."
"Did I now?" Techno says, thinking back to the exact moment he said it. He wonders how many things can be spoken between them before they're no longer skirting the line between friends and something more.
"Yeah, you did," Philza says with certainty. "I think it was right after you let me take things from someplace and I took something unconventional."
Techno nodded, the memory fresh and clear like it had happened yesterday. "That's right," His chest felt warm at the memory, but even more so that Philza remembered it that clearly. "You took entire bookshelves and a piece of the floor, if I remember correctly."
"You did say I could take anything," Philza quipped back with a grin.
Techno laughed softly. "You took it literally. It was actually pretty funny."
Philza had finally finished the pancakes Techno made him, yawning. "I'm gonna go nap. I think I need to recover some energy after the revive. Think the earring pair will be done by the time I'm up?"
Techno nodded, his voice quiet and serious. "I'll have them done by the time you wake up," he promised. He knew how important this was to Philza, and was also looking forward to it himself. He'd make sure it was perfect.
"Go get some rest, alright?"
Philza smiled and passed him to head to his bedroom, seeming to linger next to Techno for a split second longer before disappearing into his room.
Techno watched Philza go, subconsciously tracking the other man's movements. He caught the brief hesitation—it almost seemed like Philza had wanted to do something but had thought better of it. He noticed a lot of little things like this, but often chalked it up to just his imagination of things he wished happened. This moment had been real enough.
He got to work on setting the emeralds into earrings himself; he didn't trust anyone else with the task to make something Phil would actually like that they both could wear.
It would be easy to fashion the two emeralds into a matching earring each. He'd go for a dangling style with a very thin gold chain between the post of the earring and the fastened emerald. Something elegant instead of flashy.
It wouldn't just look great on him, it would look gorgeous on Philza. The green would match so perfectly to the avian's favored choice of clothes.
He kept glancing toward Phil's open bedroom door as he worked, making sure his best friend was still there and safe.
He'd finished them by the time Philza awoke from his nap.
Philza wandered into the room sleepily, but all traces of exhaustion left him when he saw Techno polishing the finished earrings.
"They're done?" he asked excitedly, moving closer and bending down to look.
Techno held them both up, showing them to Phil before handing him his. He watched with a flutter in his chest as Philza excitedly put the earring on his left ear. He looked absolutely stunning.
"Okay, your turn, now put yours on," Philza said, watching with and expectant and excited look.
Techno felt a little self conscious at Philza's rapt attention but wanted to see him smile, so he put his own on without making a fuss about it. "Alright, alright. There we go, it's in."
"Yay!" Philza said again, mirroring his excitement from earlier, something in his chest fluttering that was getting harder to ignore.
He leaned over and hugged Techno on instinct. "We're matching!"
Techno accepted the hug, clinging to Philza. He liked this feeling, whatever it was. He couldn't name it.
"So how do I look? Does it match my aesthetic?" Philza released him from the hug to face him and was grinning at him.
Even if Philza was fishing for compliments, Techno thought he deserved them. "You look amazing. The earring suits you perfectly."
A bit of color rose to Philza's cheeks and he retorted with a compliment of his own, trying to shift the focus off of himself. "Well you look even better with yours."
Techno had several feelings about that, but self conscious was no longer one of them, not when Philza was smiling at him so brightly.
"Thanks," he said simply, hoping to convey how much he meant it.
But Philza hadn't even stopped the compliment there. "Yeah, very good actually."
Techno wanted to feel more of whatever feeling that was that he got when Philza was encouraging him like this.
∗∗∗ 𓆩♡𓆪 ∗∗∗
When they finally decided to head out and look for wherever Dream was, Philza made sure to stay close to Techno the entire way and was ever-watchful for danger to himself so Techno wouldn't have to worry or watch so much.
Dream was semi-exiled because nobody liked him, but Techno had of course known the way to get to him because of his previous visit to get Philza revived. He navigated the halls with ease, knowing the layout of the place like the back of his hand. He walked with confidence; Philza's proximity made him feel like he could take on the world and they'd survive it together.
Dream was being, well... Dream, and casually sitting somewhere in that huge place. When he saw Techno walking up with Philza, he immediately turned to look at them and raised his hands in a motion of annoyed surrender.
"What do you want now. Whatever you're about to say, I didn't do it!"
Techno raised a brow like 'really?' at Dream's defensive response just from seeing them. He was used to this. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Relax," he said, his voice calm and unassuming.
Philza walked right up to Dream with no preamble or posturing. "You know how you had to revive me?"
"Yeah, Technoblade was acting all pissy until he got you back. Why?"
"We think it was a premeditated assassination attempt," Philza said, as if he couldn't get the words out fast enough. "We're not sure by who."
Dream leaned forward, genuinely interested now at both Philza's words and Techno's very serious expression.
"Assassination attempt? On Philza?" He looked at Philza, confusion and intrigue etched on his face. "Who the fuck would do that?"
"Who the fuck indeed," said Philza. "We've been trying to narrow down our allies so that we can start to inform people who have nothing against us currently."
Dream got distracted, pointing out the earrings. "You've got uh, a matching earring thing going on there. What's that about? Are you two married or something?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Philza retorted with a chuckle, purposefully being vague about it just because Dream's attitude pissed him off.
Techno chipped in, amused, looking at Dream. "We just like matching, okay? It's a thing."
"Yeah, whatever, I don't really care either way," Dream shrugged. "So you want me to ask around without being obvious to see if I can feel out anyone who might have anything against either of you."
Techno nodded solemnly, thankful Dream had focused back on the topic. "Yeah, be subtle about it. We're not trying to start World War III over nothin'."
Philza sat down nearby and began writing a letter to send to Tommy.
"Well," Dream said, "Punz doesn't have many connections to me but has worked for me before. He sided with Tommy and Tubbo in that last battle, but I could probably convince him to subtly ask around if I pay him enough."
Techno had glanced over at Philza writing the letter but focused back on Dream. "That's a good start. Just make sure Punz knows it's confidential."
He glanced at Philza again before turning back to Dream and adding, "And maybe give him a bit of extra cash for his trouble."
"Extra cash?" Dream looked a little put out at the idea of having to use more money than he needed to. "Fine, fine. I'll pay him extra so he keeps it secret."
He glanced over at Philza. "What're you writing?"
"Letter to Tommy," Philza said without looking up from what he was writing.
He finished the letter, rolled it up, and passed it into the grip of a waiting crow that had flown in a window. It cawed loudly at him and carried the letter out the window with purpose.
"Let's hope Tommy's up so he'll actually read it."
Dream's face scrunched in distaste at the mention of Tommy, but he had enough sense not to comment anything negative at least.
Techno smirked at Dream's facial expression, finding amusement in his clear irritation. "At least Phil's trying to maintain diplomatic relations," he jabbed in Dream's direction.
He turned to focus on Dream again. "You got any other connections who might be willing to listen for whispers around the server?"
"For now, no. I'm not sure if you're aware, but not many people are fond of me right now, Technoblade," Dream said very passive-aggressively, still sounding a little annoyed.
Philza stood up now that the letter was sent out. "Well, we're gonna head out. Have to meet up with Tommy once he gets the letter. Thanks for the revive, though. 'preciate it, mate."
Dream made a weird expression at being thanked since he'd literally been threatened by Techno to revive him. "Yeah, whatever. Good luck out there."
After more awkward goodbyes, and Philza and Techno had left to go meet up with Tommy, Dream spoke again into the silence of the room.
"Punz."
Punz ender-pearled into the room from nearby and walked up beside where Dream was seated. "Got something for me?"
"I'm paying you fifty thousand dollars to be my informant. Keep an eye on everyone for whispers of who could've shot Philza. Extra twenty-five thousand to keep it quiet."
"Good as done." Punz left, wasting another ender pearl to disappear from view.