Chapter Text
Dean was on standby, waiting for them to touch up Charlie's makeup, when he felt something run into him. Little arms wrapped around his legs as he looked down.
“Gege!” Dean startled for a second, he hadn't been called that in years, not since Sam hit his rebellious phase. But still he put a hand on her shoulder, leaning down slightly.
“Are you alright?” The girl shook her head, pointing behind her.
“A weird guy was following me.” Dean looked in the direction she was pointing, letting out a sigh when he saw who she meant. It was another member of the drama club, dressed strangely but harmless.
“Don't worry about him, he just dresses weird,” he reassured her. Seeming to trust him, she slowly detached herself, pulling her back pack straps so they were properly on her shoulders, and looked back up.
“What's your name, gege?”
He squatted, bringing himself closer to her height, as he answered. “Dean, what's yours?”
“Claire!” She beamed as she answered, clearly proud.
“Nice name,” he stood back up, looking around the park. “Are your parents around?”
Claire shook her head. “Baba's at home.”
Dean frowned. She was too little to be running around by herself, even if she was clearly smart enough to try and get help. He looked over at Charlie who looked confused, and maybe a little concerned.
“I'm going to walk her home,” he called to her as he turned back to Claire. She smiled and accepted his hand when he offered it to her. Charlie was yelling at him, saying they weren't done with today's shoot. He paid her no mind, knowing he'd be back within the hour, and asked Claire where her home was.
-
The apartment was filthy. Books and laundry were scattered everywhere. Trash bags sat full of garbage, needing to be taken down for collection.
And then there was Claire's dad. Asleep behind a desk that was so cluttered you couldn't see the wood anymore. He was in clothes that he'd most likely worn the day before, and seemed to barely register Dean's existence as Claire gave him some bread she bought.
After standing there for a few minutes, not saying anything, he couldn't help himself.
“Sir, no offense, but you should really pick up. This place is-”
“You do it, then,” the man said and then returned to his bread.
“What?”
Dean didn't understand what the man meant. Why would he clean this guy's house for him?
“Baba, you can't just make him clean.” Claire scolded. The man finally looked at him again.
“I'll pay you. To clean the apartment and be a nanny for Claire.”
He was taken aback. Why was this man offering a stranger a job taking care of his daughter? How could he possibly think that would be okay-
As his thoughts were spinning, he made eye contact with the man, getting a good look at him for the first time.
“Yeah, I'll do it.”
Dean was exhausted as he sunk into the chair of his Life and Death class. Charlie reached over to pat his shoulder. “Sam or Claire?”
“Both.” He let his head drop to the desk. Why did he agree to care for a 7 year old when he already had a 15 year old to look after?
She gave his shoulder one last pat before pulling her hand back. “It'll work out.”
Dean tried to believe her. It didn’t really work. He lifted his head just as the teacher walked in. But it wasn't the person he expected. Instead Castiel walked in.
“My last name is Shi, as in the ‘shi’ from right or wrong. I'll be in charge of this class while your teacher is out on maternity leave.”
Dean groaned inwardly.
-
“Claire, time to get up,” Dean said, sitting on the edge of her bed. She opened one eye and then rolled over once she saw it was him.
“Where's Baba?”
“He's working.”
She flopped aggressively over and glared at him. Dean understood what she was feeling, but she still needed to get up.
“I know, but you still have to go to school.” He moved to pick her up when she started to kick him away. She was thankfully seven and not very strong, so he just pushed her feet away. “Shi Li-Ying!”
Claire ignored him, beginning to giggle as she playfully kicked at him again. Dean couldn't help but smile with her, rolling up his sleeves.
“Fine, if that's how you want to play,” he began to tickle her. Claire's laughs doubled, her kicks becoming less and less.
It took another minute and a half of their tickle fight for her to agree to get up.
-
“You have to eat.” Dean picked up a piece of the ham with his fork, holding it out to her, “Gege worked hard on this for you.” It was a dirty trick to try and guilt her, but she really did need to eat her breakfast.
Not falling for it, Claire crossed her arms, turning her face away from him. He set the ham back down on the plate. “Your Baba won't even know if you eat.”
Claire turned her back towards him at that. Still not saying anything.
“You really wanted Baba to eat breakfast with you, didn't you?”
“No!”
“I don't believe you. That's why you don't want to eat when he's not here.” He knew it was the reason, he'd done the same thing at her age, still stubborn, thinking his dad would show up if he refused long enough.
“I said no!” Claire let her fists hit the table. It was clear she was trying to keep a straight face, as if she wasn't bothered by her father's absence.
“Then take a bite and I'll believe you.”
Not one to back down from a challenge, Claire picked up her fork. She attempted to pick up the ham several times, angrily stabbing it, before finally having to use her hand as well.
“How is it?”
“Bad.” She was still chewing as she spoke, clearly enjoying her food.
“But you seem to like it.”
“No, I don't,” she said as she went for a second piece.
“Is that why you're getting another piece?” Dean teased. She glared up at him.
“Stinky guys. I hate all of you.”
Knowing she didn't mean it, he moved to sit beside her. “Yes, we're stinky guys. Claire smells the best.” He gave her a small hug, before sitting up straight. “How about I eat with you?”
She didn't refuse this time, so he grabbed his own fork and joined her.
Dean couldn't pay attention in class; he was so angry at Castiel. He was saying something about writing a will, he'd get the actual instructions from Charlie later, for now he needed to have a talk with his teacher.
As the bell rang and everyone moved towards the door, Dean went straight to Castiel. “Laoshi, I need to talk to you.” Before the other man was even able to reply, he was dragging him out of the room and towards the stairs, only stopping once they hit the third landing.
Dean turned to face him, trying his best to keep his composure. “Do you even remember you have a daughter? You haven't been home in five days. Are you that confident about leaving her home alone?”
Castiel looked like he couldn't understand how this was even a problem. “You're there. Did you forget about that? I hired you to be her nanny.”
“Do you even know me? If I'm a good or bad person? I could have done something to her and you wouldn't be able to protect her in time.”
“If you were a bad person, you wouldn't be telling me this right now.”
Castiel tried to walk away, but Dean grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. “Don't tell me that you've always just left her with nannies.”
The disgust was clear in his voice, but if his teacher noticed it he didn't say anything.
“She would tell me if she didn't like it.”
“Who is she supposed to tell if you are not there? You're her only family!” He couldn't believe the man in front of him. “How can you treat her so heartlessly? Letting her be sad and lonely? What if she grows up insecure and goes down a bad path?”
“Whether someone ends up good or bad is up to them.”
“Fuck!” Dean was done. He wasn't sure what he could possibly do to get it through to him that Claire needs her father. “I can't believe you're actually a professor.”
“Zhang Jun-Jie! Watch your tone.”
Dean ignored him. “You were a child once. Don't you understand the feeling of wanting your parents’ company?”
“I don't.” When he moved to leave this time, Dean didn't stop him. He was stunned for a moment at that answer before turning to watch him leave.
“Shi Hong-Yi!”
Other than Claire's dad being a no show again, the evening had gone fine. He had made them omelette rice and Claire showed him the right way to make a smiley face with ketchup. He got her in the shower, finished cleaning up, and then got her dressed. After that he sat down to fill out her contact book and was just about done when she started yelling.
“Baba!” It wasn't loud, but it was painful. Dean was on his feet before she even yelled again. “Baba, my tummy hurts!”
He found her on her bed, writhing in pain. “Claire!” He knelt beside her, “What's wrong? Where does it hurt?”
“My tummy!”
Dean pressed down on part of it, trying to figure out where it was hurting, whether this was just a stomachache or something worse. “Here?” It was about where he knew the appendix to be. She screamed.
“Okay, don't scream, don't scream. It will be okay, I'll take you to the hospital.”
He scooped her up into his arms, holding her close to his chest as he reached for his phone, dialing Castiel's number. He put the phone to his ears as he hurried out the door and down the hall with her. There was no answer. He turned the phone off.
They were lucky enough that a cab was just letting someone off and they got in.
Claire was still grumbling in pain, curled up into his side as they sped off to the hospital. Dean tried to call her dad again with no answer. He could feel the tears prickling his eyes. It had been a long time since he last cried.
He rubbed circles into Claire's back, trying to soothe her a bit, telling her it'd all be okay. She moved even closer to him, holding her stomach.
Dean kept trying Castiel's phone up until they got there. Then it was getting her signed in and seen. He called Sam to let him know he wouldn't be home until even later than usual. His brother told him he'd come and keep him company, even though he told him he didn't have to.
-
It was only after she'd been seen that Castiel showed up. Dean had given up and just texted him about it.
“Zhang Jun-Jie, where's Claire?” He actually sounded panicked. Good, he should be.
Before Castiel got around the reception desk, Dean punched him. Unfortunately not hard enough to really hurt him. His teacher looked at him, startled and angry.
“I called you so many times!” Dean grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “Do you know what happened to Claire? Neurogenic Gastritis! What kind of stress is she under to suffer from that?”
Castiel didn't react, didn't even try to push Dean off. “Where's Claire?”
Ignoring him, Dean continued, “Do you know what she needs? She needs a real father. One who stays by her side and helps her with homework. One who walks her to school. Not some skeleton researcher who leaves her with a nanny. You don't deserve to be a father!”
Castiel still didn't say anything. He couldn't tell if he felt remorse at all, if he understood what Dean was saying. The lack of reaction made him angrier.
“You're nothing but a jerk!” He moved to punch him again when someone grabbed his arm.
“That's enough, Ge.” Sam pulled him away from Castiel. “We're still at the hospital.”
Dean took a step back, and that was right when the doctor came out.
“A-Yi?” She was looking at Castiel, who didn't meet her eyes.
“Auntie, you know him?”
Jody nodded at Dean, before gesturing for Castiel to follow her.
-
Castiel sat on a bench in the hall, Jody sitting across from him. “Jie, I-”
She shook her head. “Here's Claire's prescription. Once we're done with IV infusion, you can take her home.”
“Thank you.” He paused, looking over the prescription before speaking again. “I didn't know Zhang Jun-Jie was your nephew.”
Jody shrugged. “I didn't know the heartless father he was just telling me about would be you.”
Castiel let his head hit the wall behind him. “He's right. I'm not fit to be a father.”
She stood to sit next to him as she spoke. “Everyone learns how to be a parent only after having kids. Don't be depressed.”
Castiel gave her a small smile. He appreciated her words, but knew he really messed up. Jody reached over and patted his thigh, as if to calm him. “Dean is really sensitive about this stuff. His father was never around and his mom died when he was young. It's just been him and his brother since he was about Claire's age.”
She leaned back against the wall now, not looking at Castiel anymore. “He got hurt because of this. It's only in the last 3 years that he's let people help him.”
She looked back over. Castiel was listening intently to her. A small smile on his face. There was a look in his eyes, like everything was clicking into place. “That's why he took the job. Because it reminds him of his own situation.”
Castiel's smile dropped as he turned away, the weight of everything settling in. What he had been avoiding since the divorce finally came tumbling down on top of him.
Castiel sat beside his daughter. They were home and she was asleep, worn out from the night. He reached forward, stroking her hair.
The words Dean had yelled at him earlier that day, both at the school and at the hospital, replayed in his mind. He was right. How could he treat his child so heartlessly?
Claire opened her eyes. “Ba, where's Dean-gege?”
“He's gone home,” he put his hand on hers. “Does your stomach still hurt?”
“A little bit.” She gripped his hand back, her little fingers only being able to hold onto a few of his fingers. “Let me tell you. He carried me to the car and took me to the hospital. He even cried. I didn't cry, I even comforted him.” Castiel wasn't sure about that last part, but let her go on. “He couldn't find you, so he cried. But luckily you came, and I stopped hurting.”
Hearing that, he felt like he'd been stabbed. How much had she been hurting because he wasn't around? How much pain had he caused her?
Still, he forced a smile, reaching again to stroke her hair. “Baba is sorry.”
“It's okay.”
It wasn't, but he would make sure it was in the future.
-
Dean sat on his own bed, trying to write his will for class. Sam was asleep and he finally had time for himself. Yet, he couldn't focus. He kept thinking about what Jody told him.
Knowing Castiel is an orphan made some things make sense. Still, he wasn't going to let him off the hook. Claire was hurting because she missed him so much.
But… maybe he shouldn't have punched him.
With a sigh he closed his laptop and stood up.
-
Claire leaned into her dad's arms, forcing herself to stay awake just a little longer. It was the first time in a while she'd been able to cuddle him.
“Will Dean-gege be over tomorrow?”
“Do you like him?” He was glad she did. None of the other nannies really clicked with her.
“Yes. I like to eat his omelette rice, and he helps me with my homework. He even signs my contact book and picks me up on his bicycle. Sometimes he even takes me to buy groceries with him.” Her eyes closed as she spoke, the sleep fighting hard to win her over to its side.
Castiel smiled down at her, “Go to sleep if you want.”
“No, I want to talk to you.” His heart broke a little more at that, but Claire didn't notice, she went on. “Let me tell you, I got a 100 on my test. I bought gummies for you but you didn't come home so I ate them.”
“Baba is sorry. Tell me next time you buy me gummies and I'll make sure to come home and eat them.” There was no reply. Claire had fallen asleep.
Castiel sat there for a little longer. He had missed this. He just hadn't realized it until now.
-
Dean paced back and forth outside of Castiel and Claire's apartment. They were probably asleep. Really he should just apologize in the morning, but then it might be awkward…
With a sigh he went to open the door, but it was opened before he could, making him stumble a bit.
“Delivery?” His teacher asked, taking the bag out of his hands. Dean didn't say anything, following him inside, kicking his shoes off at the door, not bothering with the slippers for now.
Castiel stood at the small table and began to take things out of the bag. “Pudding?”
“Claire likes it.”
“Bread?”
“I figured you would be too busy to make breakfast.”
“Do I drink milk?” He asked, holding up the carton.
“Kids need it to grow.”
Castiel pulled the last thing from the bag. “Apples?”
“They're good for your skin.”
Castiel set them down, looking Dean up and down, “I want to eat omelette rice.”
“What?”
He just looked at him expectantly.
-
Castiel watched him from the table. Dean didn't even look over as he asked, “What, have you never seen someone beat eggs before?”
“I've never seen someone beat them for that long,” he said, biting into one of the apples.
“The longer you beat them the fluffier they are.”
“Do you need fluffy eggs for omelette rice?”
“Yes!” Dean answered, continuing to beat the eggs.
Once he was finally done cooking, he set the dish in front of Castiel, ketchup smiley face and all, and went to leave.
“Let's eat together,” Castiel said as Dean hung up the apron he'd been wearing. He shot him a confused look. “This fluffy omelette looks suspicious. At least if something were to happen it would happen to both of us.”
Dean wasn't sure why, but he joined him, accepting the spoon when it was offered.
They ate in silence.
Afterwards, Castiel grabbed something out of the fridge and went towards the balcony. Dean followed, standing beside him at the railing.
Castiel handed him a bottle of juice.
“I want a beer too.”
“You're not old enough.”
“I'm 19, I can buy my own alcohol.” Castiel knew that, it was just funny to watch him get all angry.
“Doesn't matter, this is the last can in the fridge,” he said, opening it and taking a drink from it. He then nudged Dean, “Drink your juice.”
He then turned, leaning against the railing, his back to the city.
It was quiet for a moment. The tension was thick, neither really knowing what to say. Finally, Dean broke the tension. “When you were little-”
Castiel looked over at him, waiting for him to finish. He didn't finish his question. “Why did you stop asking?”
Dean shook his head. Castiel rolled his eyes. “Are you worried about dragging up sad memories?”
Still no answer.
“Did you know your pretense hurts more than if you had just asked? You may as well just ask.”
Dean looked a little relieved. “So I can ask about it?”
Castiel gave him a smile, “But I don't want to answer it.”
Dean glared at him, “Are you kidding me?”
The other man just laughed, before clinking their drinks together. “Cheers.”
The glare turned to confusion. His teacher continued. “Thank you for taking care of Claire today. You must have been scared.”
“It's not the first time I've done this, but it's the first with a kid so young,” he admitted, looking down at his hands, “She was in so much pain. I thought it was my fault. That I fed her something that'd gone bad.”
Castiel wrapped an arm around him, Deans head falling to his shoulder. “You did well,” he lifted a hand, patting his hair, “Thank you.”
Dean stayed there for a moment and then pulled away. “What are you doing?”
“I thought you wanted to cry, I'll lend you my shoulder.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing ever.
“Who wants to cry? Not me.” When Castiel didn't respond, Dean stepped away from the railing. “I'm going home.”
He watched him go for a moment, and then went back to watching the city below him.
Claire walked into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. “Good morning, gege.”
“Good morning, Claire,” Dean smiled at her as he pulled something from the fridge. She turned to go to her Baba's room. Pushing the door a little more open, she was disappointed to see that no one was in there and the bed was made.
She made her way back towards the kitchen.
“Do you feel better?” Dean asked, as she reached him.
“Mhm!” And she did, but she'd feel even better if her Baba was home.
“Good! Breakfast is almost ready.”
“Okay,” she replied as she walked towards the bathroom.
“Good morning,” her Baba was there, brushing his teeth.
“Baba! I thought you disappeared, but you're still here!” Her entire demeanor changed in seconds after seeing him.
He smiled at her, “Baba won't disappear. Do you want to brush your teeth?”
“Yes!”
She enthusiastically started to brush her teeth, until she realized that he used the wrong tooth paste. “Baba it stings!”
“Is it too minty?”
“Yeah,” she answered, the toothpaste dripping out of her mouth as she spoke.
It was then that Dean stepped into the open door. “Are you guys done? Breakfast is ready.”
“Gege, did you brush your teeth?”
“Of course.”
“Then let me tell you, Baba gave me the adult toothpaste instead of the kid toothpaste,” she complained, pouting just a little bit.
“I'll buy you some tomorrow,” Dean told her. She smiled and then Baba challenged her to a race. She turned back to the mirror, focused on brushing her teeth, but she could see that Dean was still behind them, watching and smiling.
“Hey, the teacher for the next class is on leave, let's go to the library to write our reports,” Dean said, leaning over so Charlie could hear him.
She scoffed as she packed her books up. “I'm surprised you remember we have a report due.”
“Look, I'm sorry,” he told her. She still wasn't swayed, refusing to look at him. “I'll buy you lunch.”
“You said it.” She was a lot faster about getting her stuff put away now.
Once they were the last two students, Castiel approached them. “Zhang Jun-Jie.”
Dean stood up, “Yes?”
“I'm not coming home for dinner, please tell Claire for me.”
Disappointed he agreed. Castiel ignored his tone and grabbed his wallet, handing him cash out of it.
“For this week's groceries.”
Dean counted it, trying to give back what he didn't need. It was really too much.
“Just return the change later, or keep it if it isn't a lot, get yourself something too.” He could feel Charlie's eyes on them, but he ignored her as he smiled. He let Castiel know that he would take Claire to the supermarket to get some necessities for the apartment. Promised to leave the receipts out for him.
Just as Castiel was about to leave, Dean spoke again. “Don't eat instant noodles at night anymore. Buy something that's better for you. Or is at least real food.”
Castiel was stunned but agreed before walking away.
Dean smiled as he sat back down at his desk.
He was content, even if Charlie was going to tease him about it later.