Chapter Text
༺ Kori ༻
It had been over three weeks since Kori last saw Lydia. Not seeing her ached in a way that felt almost physical. Thursday dinners weren’t nearly as fun without her, and Kori had to hide it, act casual, pretend Lydia’s absence didn’t just bother her but hurt.
But there was a good reason. While Kori was stuck in California, Lydia and her parents had been traveling across Europe, which Kori actually appreciated. The trip had been an excellent excuse for Lydia to post dozens of photos of herself. Why would Kori look at the Eiffel Tower when the black-haired girl beside it was obviously the prettier sight?
Kori had been counting down the days until today, October 28th. The day Lydia finally came back.
They had no plans to see each other today. They weren’t close enough for that, not yet, but just knowing they were finally in the same city was enough. It also meant the day they’d actually see each other was getting closer.
Kori guessed there were still a few hours before Lydia landed, though she couldn’t be sure. Their only communication had been through MySpace messages, and they were in different time zones.
While waiting for a text from Lydia announcing she was off the plane, Kori decided to kill time by rereading every message they’d exchanged while Lydia was away.
●●●
October 7th, Sunday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
KORIIII I ARRIVED
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
I CAN ONLY MESSAGE U ON MYSPACE
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
long story
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
ive got all day tell me the story my luv!
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
basically
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
my parents forgot 2 put me on the international phone plan so i can only message u from the hotel computer
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
and ur still going out of ur way 2 message me? im so flattered
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
damn am i doin 2 much?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
no im flattered
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
id do the same for u
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
im tired and today was a long day so im goin 2 bed now
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
we can chat tmrw
October 8th, Monday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
hows venice going
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so freaking beautiful
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i told lana and suzie (my bffs) that we need 2 do a girls trip here next summer
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
maybe u can come
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
if u r still with aaron by then cuz idk how long u will be able to tolerate him
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so youd stop talking 2 me if i broke up w him? wow
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
im offended :(
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i thought u were a real one
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i was joking
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
if u broke up with that freak id love u even more
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so u love me? wow
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i wasnt expecting a love confession
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
what if i do?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
wanna kiss?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
mwah u3u
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
mwahhh '3'
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
damn the emote u used has its eyes open do u kiss with open eyes?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so what if i do
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
then im opening them too '3'
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
staring contest!!!
October 9th, Tuesday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
any updates on the trip?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
the pizza here is amazing
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
what about the pasta
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so yum!!!
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
my mom is telling me to watch what i eat so i dont get fat cuz aaron will stop loving me
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
tell her i say nothing could get him to stop loving u
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
hes obsessed w u
October 10th, Wednesday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
updateeee
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
were in pisa now
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
did u try the pizza in pisa?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
yeah its so good
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
ugh i havent been since i was a kid
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
id take some w me for u 2 have it but it would be cold and stale next time we see each other
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
its ok. can our girls trip include pisa?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
anything for u
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
awwwww
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
mwah
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
'3'
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
CLOSE THE DAMN EYES
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
what if the emote just has long eyes and u r discriminating it?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
u bigoted fuck
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
ever thought of that?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
my apologies </3
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
u3u
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
'3'
October 11th, Thursday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
we went 2 see the leaning tower of pisa today
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so disappointing
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
why
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
its just a building but i did take a pic holding it
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
its on my profile
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
already saw it
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
that pic was the only thing worth seeing it for :'(
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
at least the pizza is good
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
u r so right :D
October 12th, Friday
October 13th, Saturday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
sorry i didnt talk 2 u yesterday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
we drove to rome and by the time we got here i was tired
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
its ok my love i get it
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
my grandparents are from rome so its really cool to see the city
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
luv that for u <3
October 14th, Sunday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
leaving rome 2day
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
sad :(
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
why?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
wish i couldve stayed here longer i loved rome
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
can we include it in our girls trip?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
if ur friends say yes i say yes too
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
atp we are doing a whole italy tour
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
isnt that where ur family is from? i say its a good idea
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
now we gotta get suzie and lana to agree
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
they better
October 15th, Monday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
what city r u in now
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
cuz u said u were leaving rome
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
still italy?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
actually barcelona
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
ooohhh ive never been
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
the architecture is beautiful
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
my dad is obsessed with it
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
yeah i saw ur pics
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
what did u think?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i love it
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
bucket list for sure
October 16th, Tuesday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i feel bad for not speaking spanish here
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
hola senorita como está?
October 17, Wednesday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
bueno y usted?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
its "bien" not "bueno"
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
u speak spanish?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
un poquito
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i took spanish in high school
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i took french but i forgot it all as soon as i graduated
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
didnt u say u were going 2 paris? daaamn
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
tbh i never learned it in the first place
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i cheated on EVERY test
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i support your wrong doings
October 18th, Thursday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
hows barcelona going
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
im in madrid now
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
so hows madrid going
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
gorgeous but i like barcelona better
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
top 3 cities so far?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
1. rome (im biased) 2. venice 3. barcelona
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
gotta visit barcelona then
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
oh its a must
October 19th, Friday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
the pics u posted are gorgeous, the city looks amazing
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
the pics u posted are gorgeous too
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
my mirror pics?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
u think im gorgeous?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i said what i said
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
well i think u r gorgeous too
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
awww '3'
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
im starting 2 accept the open eyes '3'
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
kissing with our eyes open wow
October 20th, Saturday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
if u think im gorgeous and i think u r gorgeous too why not observe our faces up close
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
you will see all my pores
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
and you'll see mine. deal?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
deal '3'
October 21st, Sunday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i'm in paris now!!!
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
liking it so far?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
well all i saw was the ride from the place where the plane landed to the hotel
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
and did u like what u saw?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
its different than i remembered it but honestly yes
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i saw a rat and i thought its cute
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
thats so new york
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i thought the same thing!!!
October 22nd, Monday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
saw the eiffel tower today
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
we actually went inside
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i had seen it before but never been inside
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
and did u like it?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
it was fun!!!
October 23rd, Tuesday
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
r u doing anything for halloween?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
just watching movies w suzie and lana
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i wanted 2 invite u 2 a party
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
can suzie and lana come?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
let me ask my friends
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
they said yes
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
im gonna ask suzie and lana now
October 24th, Wednesday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
theyd love 2 go
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
yippeee!!
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
where and what time?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
10PM at phi kappa psi (frat) in stanford
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
woah ive never been 2 a frat party
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i feel like theyre scary
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
its not but if it gets scary at any point ill protect u
October 25th, Thursday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
awwww
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
'3'
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
'3'
October 26th, Friday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
today i visited the arc de triomphe!!
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
its so beautiful
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
can i see?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
posting a pic rn gimme a second
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
the pics are stunning
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
the pics u post are more stunning
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
so u think im stunning
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
we already went through this and i already said yes
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i just wanted 2 hear it again
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
u know u r stunning too
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
lets kiss with our eyes open
October 27th, Saturday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i have less than 1 day left here :(
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
final thoughts?
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
did u love it?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
oui oui
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
baguette
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i havent been in years
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
im kinda jealous right now
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
oui oui baguette
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
cant wait 2 go with sum1 i luv
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
cuz its the city of love
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
ily so i say we should come here together oui oui baguette
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
i meant romantic love
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
so my friendly love is not enough?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
non non sad baguette :'(
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
your love will always be enough oui oui baguette
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
oui oui happy baguette :D
October 28th, Sunday
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
last day here!!! already packed and im leaving the hotel in an hour
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
how long is the flight?
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
over 10 hours
xX_LydiaLydiaLydia_Xx:
i'll text u when i get to cali
_DunkieJunkieKori_:
can't wait!!! :D
●●●
Rereading the messages filled Kori with this warm, almost overwhelming joy, yet it also stirred a strange mix of complicated emotions.
Talking to Lydia almost every day felt like living in a dream she never wanted to wake up from. But the confusion came from the fact that their conversations felt almost... flirtatious?
Kori couldn’t tell if it was all in her head or if Lydia was somehow in on it. On one hand, Lydia was presumably straight; nothing had ever suggested otherwise. On the other hand, she had messaged Kori constantly despite being abroad and having limited internet access, along with all the kissing jokes and future plans. Could it mean something more?
But Kori had to rationalize it, and Lydia couldn’t actually be flirting... right? She was the clueless straight girl, completely unaware of the intense homoerotic implications of her increasingly affectionate behavior. That’s what she had always been. Kori had run through this in her head a million times.
Unless she wasn’t clueless at all, and she had actually been flirting all along. But she was dating Aaron and had never hinted at being into women, and straight girls got overly affectionate with each other all the time. Lydia thought Kori was straight—if she’d known Kori was a lesbian, she probably wouldn’t have acted that way; she would’ve thought it was cruel to lead her on.
Kori sat on her bed, analyzing every 'open-eyed kiss' and the tone behind every exaggerated exclamation point. While it probably meant nothing to Lydia, Kori couldn’t help but wonder what if. Now that Lydia had shown so many possible clues, Kori held onto anything she could to avoid confronting the fact—or at least pretend for a moment—that it probably wasn’t mutual.
Telling herself Lydia might feel the same was a way to postpone heartbreak. Telling herself she didn’t was a way to protect herself from delusion and eventual rejection, at the cost of her own happiness.
She was stuck in a loop: maybe it’s on purpose, followed by: straight girls treat each other like this all the time.
Why couldn’t Kori fall for a queer girl who was actually open about it? Why did it have to be her brother’s most-likely-straight girlfriend? How dare Lydia ruin her life by being so... gorgeous... perfect... sweet... and blissfully unaware of Kori’s feelings.