Archive of Our Own ^beta

Rosemary would hardly describe what she was doing as falling in love. Falling implied a certain amount of time and for Rosemary, it was nearly instantaneous. She met Laura, and then she was in love. It was as simple as that.

It didn’t occur to Rosemary to tell Laura, of course not. That wasn’t how it worked. You didn’t fall in love with your female best friend and then, tell her about it. No, you kept mum and loved from afar, halfheartedly trying to get over her and guiltily hoping she wouldn’t find someone else.

That bit usually didn’t work out, in Rosemary’s experience, but with Laura… Rosemary rather thought it might. Maybe she was delusional, but Laura didn’t seem all that interested in romance. After all, she had turned down every man who’d been interested in her so far, hadn’t she?

They were on a job, sprucing up some wedding venue before the big day, when the maid of honor went positively off the rails. She’d only gone and told the groom, her friend since school days, that she loved him. The groom had walked away in tears and the maid of honor had left not long after.

Rosemary and Laura were walking back to the main house across the sizable gardens. They couldn’t very well keep going with the bride’s arrangements if they didn’t know if the wedding would go ahead now, could they?

Rosemary was seething over the injustice of it all. “You just don’t do that! You don’t tell a friend you love them just because you don’t want them to leave you, never mind if it’s true or not.”

“But there was a chance he loved her back!” Laura protested. “I think it’s romantic, the final desperate declaration of love.”

Rosemary made a face. “Well I think it’s depressing. I mean she knew he’d say no, and she still confessed. Now he’ll be constantly thinking about how he hurt his best friend.”

“She didn’t know what he’d say.”

“She had to have known! She said it herself, he had never shown any sign of interest!” Rosemary was ready to tear her hair out.

“You’re probably right,” Laura replied, placatingly. “But people do silly things when they’re in love. Maybe she wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“A bit too silly if you ask me. She can’t use being in love as an excuse. It’s been years, you’ve had the opportunity to leave plenty of times and I’ve never tried to stop you like that, have I?”

Laura said nothing to that, and Rosemary stormed across the lawn in a right old fury. The bloody bloody nerve of that girl, ruining the poor man’s happiness like that, to say nothing of the fact that she’d probably put Rosemary and Laura out of a job. Speaking of Laura, she didn’t seem to be with Rosemary.

Rosemary turned back to see Laura standing stock still in the middle of the lawn, staring like she’d seen a ghost. Rosemary started back towards her. “Laura? What’s wrong?”

Laura gulped, then took a deep breath like she was desperately trying to collect herself. “What- what did you mean?” she asked, in a strangled sort of voice.

“When?”

Laura clamped her lips shut. “Nevermind. It’s nothing” she said. She plastered a poor approximation of a smile onto her face and threaded her arm through Rosemary’s. “Come on, let’s go make ourselves a cup of tea, shall we?”

Rosemary let herself be pulled along, and tried to remember what she’d been saying before. They’d been talking about that morning’s catastrophe, Laura said that people did silly things when they were in love, Rosemary had agreed… then- Rosemary froze where she stood, bringing Laura to a halt beside her.

“Rosemary?” There was a note of panic in Laura's voice that harmonized wonderfully with the panic rising in Rosemary's head. She’d said- and Laura had understood. She’d known what Rosemary had meant because she always knew what Rosemary meant and Rosemary loved her for it and- she knew. “Rosemary?” Laura asked again.
Rosemary extricated her arm in a daze. Turning her back to Laura, she took off across the lawn in a brisk walk, which quickened into a run as Rosemary fled into the garden.

Rosemary sat by the pool on the cold cement and stared into the water. At some point in the last hour or so, it had started to rain. Tiny drops of ice cold water had prickled their way onto her skin before the rain began falling in large soaking drops. Rosemary was close to wet through, and bloody cold. She didn’t let herself think about that though. She didn’t let herself think about anything. She couldn’t go back inside. Laura was there, and Laura would want to talk. There was nothing she could say that would make this situation less awful.

Rosemary had gone and done the unthinkable. She’d told Laura. And now nothing was ever going to be the same again. Even if, even if Laura was somehow able to overlook the fact that Rosemary was in love with her and commit to going back to normal, they would both know, and every action would be tainted by that knowledge. There was nothing Rosemary could do.

Maybe she could leave. Leave now and she’d still have the memory of their time together. Thyme, together. Laura would have thought that was funny. Rosemary gave a wet choking laugh. She couldn’t tell her now, could she? Great fat tears rolled down Rosemary's face. Great. She was crying. And then Rosemary gave a shiver so violent it rattled her bones and made her teeth chatter. This was probably a good way to get pneumonia, Rosemary thought, or at least a hell of a cold.

Before she knew what was happening, someone had thrown a heavy blanket over her shoulders and pressed a hot mug of tea into her frozen hands, with an "oh bloody hell, you're freezing!" Laura. Laura sat down beside her with a rustle of raincoat. Rosemary couldn’t look at her. She sipped her tea. Just the way she liked it, and hot enough to warm her insides. Because of course it was. But not hot enough to warm her broken heart, Rosemary thought bitterly.

Laura shifted beside her. “Were you never going to tell me?” she asked gently, and Rosemary nearly sobbed.

“Of course not,” Rosemary managed, quite normally, and took a gulp of her tea. Why? Why did Laura have to be so lovely? Why couldn’t she be the type of decent person who Rosemary could just be chums with, and not so unfailingly lovely that Rosemary couldn’t help but ache with want?

“Why not?”

“What’s that?”

“Why not?” Asked Laura. Rosemary forgot she couldn't look at her and glanced at Laura quizzically. Laura was looking back at her with genuine curiosity.

“What do you mean, why not?” Rosemary asked incredulously. “I didn’t want to ruin things, of course.”

“Ruin things??" asked Laura. "How could telling me you love me be anything but good?” Rosemary stared. Laura turned to face her, heedless of the rain that was brushing her skin. “You know, when we first met, I knew instantly that I wanted us to be friends.” She paused, staring hard at Rosemary’s face. “After that… I knew I had absolutely no desire to leave your side. And back there on the lawn- you said- and I was so happy, inside, and I didn’t know why. Well, I thought about it- and then I did. Because-,” her voice dropped to a murmur, “l love you.” Rosemary stared uncomprehendingly. “And I don’t know why, it never occurred to you that I could love you back,” Laura continued, “because I pick you every time. Over money, over men. I’ll always pick you.”

“Oh,” Rosemary heard herself say.

“Right, oh,” Laura nodded. She stood, and held our her hand to Rosemary. “Now let’s get you inside before you freeze to death. Come on, and don’t take this the wrong way, as it’s rather too early for that I think, but I am going to have to make you strip,” Laura said cheerfully. Rosemary took Laura's hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She met Laura’s eyes with an exasperated glare. Laura grinned back at her. “Well it’s standard cold weather procedure. You have to take of your wet things so we can get you warm. A hypothermic gardener is the last thing this wedding needs.”

“You love me?” Rosemary asked finally.

Laura’s face softened into a look of unbearable fondness. “Of course darling, of course.” And all at once Rosemary felt the ache in her chest loosen, and dissolve into a flood of warmth. Rosemary was certain that if she had the capacity, she would be glowing with it. She felt like she was glowing. She felt like all the happiness and love in the universe was shining from inside her, warming her heart to the fullest.

“Why,” said Laura. “Would you like me to prove it?“ And Rosemary laughed, loud and joyful in the gray damp of the afternoon.

“You know,” she said, “I really do.”

And Laura kissed Rosemary in the rain, and for the first time in years, Rosemary felt like she could breathe again.

They walked back together over the grass, with Laura’s arms around Rosemary, and the steadily dampening blanket over the two of them, and so entranced were they by one another that they nearly missed the bloodied body of the groom lying prostrate on the lawn, and even that wasn’t enough to dampen their spirits.