Chapter Text
Taxian-Jun thought for a moment, staring up at the ceiling with the first look of peace and serenity unlike how he usually was. For the first time since his death the emperor began reviewing stories in his head, hand picking the best one for the occasion like this.
“The story you will hear is one made by this venerable one. There hadn’t been any bedtime stories told to me when I was young so I envied those that could hear. So everyday this venerable one made stories and told to himself before sleeping. Be glad you are listening to my favourite one, it’s called ‘Ox Eats Grass.’”
Taxian-Jun began, “A long, long time ago, there was a small child.”
Ji Tianci’s eyes were open and he was intently listening like a child to a mother’s words, Liu Wuxin opened his eyes with a frown. “What is this? About a child grazing an ox?”
“Well it could be,” Ji Tianci added with a thoughtful nod to the snake demon who gave him a suspicious side glance. Luo Binghe kept his eyes shut, not wanting to listen anymore to some whimsical story from the emperor; that guy is illiterate, his stories must not make any sense.
“Do not cut in,” Taxian-Jun grinned, looking at his audience. “Once upon a time, there was a small child who was very poor and who didn’t have a mom or a dad. He was a child laborer in the household of a landlord. He had to wash dishes, wash clothes, and wipe the floors, and he also had to take the ox out to graze. Every day, the landlord’s household gave him three pieces of flatbread to eat, and the child was very happy that he could fill his stomach.
“One day, he took the ox out to graze as always. On the road, they bumped into a mad dog that bit the ox’s leg. Because of this, the landlord unsurprisingly gave the boy a sound beating. After the beating, the landlord made the boy go kill the mad dog to vent his rage. If the child didn’t, the landlord threatened not to give him his flatbread.
“The child was very scared and could only follow orders, so after he beat that mad dog to death, he brought it back. However, when he came home, the landlord discovered that the dog that bit his ox’s leg was actually the beloved pet of the county master.”
There was a pause, Liu Wuxin raised a brow. “Then what happened?”
Taxian-Jun replied with much ease, “what else could they do? That dog was the county master’s favorite, and due to its master’s position, it was used to having its way and being a bully. Who could have imagined it would be beaten to death like that? If the county master were to find out, he wouldn’t just let it go. The more the landlord thought about it, the angrier he became, so in the end, he didn’t give the child his flatbread. He even threatened to hand the child over if the county master came looking.”
Ji Tianci felt empathy for that child, his heart tightening when he listened. “what a mess, what did he do next?”
Liu Wuxin sat up and crossed his arms with his eyebrows pinched together, “did he get revenge? The human race is complicated.”
Taxian-Jun laughed. “Hahaha, there are many flaws that humans have. It’s all a matter of who has more money, whose fist is tougher, and whose position is higher. The next day, the county master indeed came knocking and the child was handed over. But because he was so young, it would’ve been unbecoming for the county master to lock him up, so he was flogged ten times and released.”
“Did the child escape?” Ji Tianci asked.
“He didn’t in fact run away. The kid returned to the landlord’s household, recovered from his injuries, and went back to tending the ox for them. He was still getting three flatbread a day.”
“Wasn’t he mad?” Liu Wuxin cocked his head to the side, the story had in fact not clicked to him and neither did the child’s actions of returning even after being wrongly punished just for three pieces of flatbread. Ji Tianci and Luo Binghe however, could understand the child and felt connected, well Ji tianci, Luo Binghe kept on tossing and turning from the storytelling getting on his nerves.
“As long as his stomach was full, he couldn’t be mad. A sound beating is just a sound beating. After it’s over, it’s over. Things were peaceful for over a decade. By that point, the oxherd boy had grown up. One day, when several esteemed guests came to the landlord’s house, the landlord’s son—who was the same age as the oxherd—saw one of the guests had brought a particularly beautiful agate snuff bottle. He took a liking to it, so he stole it.
“The snuff bottle was an heirloom and extremely precious. The guest was quite panicked and looked all over the house for his possession. The landlord’s son realized that he wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore, so he stuffed the snuff bottle into the oxherd’s hands and told him that if he dared to tell the truth, they would never feed him again and he would starve to death.”
“This is bullshit,” Liu Wuxin muttered. The gloomy atmosphere of the story made him wonder whether this dead emperor was talking from experience.
Taxian-Jun was quite pleased with himself, enjoying the little discussion from the audience. “The snuff bottle was soon found. The oxherd could only brace himself and take the blame so that he would continue to have food to eat, and naturally, what followed was another viciously sound beating. This time, they beat him so badly that he couldn’t get out of bed for three days.
“The landlord’s son got away with it all, so he secretly snuck a steamed bun stuffed with marinated pork to the oxherd. The oxherd wolfed it down and stopped resenting the landlord’s son, even though he’d harmed him. He’d never tasted such a delicacy before, so as he held the bun, he kept saying, ‘Thank you, thank you.’”
Liu Wuxin laid back down, covering his ears with his slender hands. “I’m not listening to this anymore. How could one bun make that oxherd stop resenting? What a dumb child.”
Ji Tianci turned his head and looked at Liu Wuxin, touching a lock of the silver hair splayed with downturned eyes. “Baby, you’re not listening too carefully.”
“How am I not??”
Taxian-Jun nodded in agreement at Ji Tianci’s words, “it was a steamed bun filled with marinated pork.”
Liu Wuxin closed his eyes and did not respond, he was beginning to feel agitated.
“You don’t understand, do you? Usually that kid only got his hands on a scrap or two of fatty meat on New Year’s Eve. He had thought he was going to die never knowing the taste of marinated pork, so of course he’d thank whoever gave him some.”
Taxian-Jun’s explanation only made Liu Wuxin want to lose all his senses, he slowly took his hands away from his ears and simply silently lay with his back to Ji Tianci while the latter combed his fingers through the locks of silver, his dark eyes filled with adoration.
“Either way, the incident passed like that. The boy still collected his three flatbread, and time went on. One day..” Taxian-Jun trailed off, creating suspension but Liu Wuxin was now familiar with the story’s trends, that ‘one day’ did not promise the end of this story nor a good ending.
And sure enough, Taxian-Jun said, “one day, the landlord’s son committed another crime. This time, he violated a girl at the neighboring mill, and coincidentally, the unlucky oxherd came upon the scene.”
Ji Tianci gasped, his heart feeling heavy for that oxherd, thinking the same thing as Liu Wuxin who sarcastically asked, “and that oxherd child takes the blame?”
Taxian-Jun clapped his hands together, his eyes curving into crescents of delight and no malice. For a moment it felt as though he had come back to being a kind and careless youth with the emotional capability of a dog, only knowing the basics: anger, happiness, sadness, perhaps excitement too. “You got it! For a second this venerable one assumed his storytelling skills were too much for you to comprehend the story.”
“This time, the oxherd definitely had to take the blame, because the girl, unable to take the humiliation, had committed suicide by way of bashing her head into the wall. But the oxherd wasn’t dumb. He knew that whoever took the fall would have to pay for this with their life, and there was no way he was going to give his up for the sake of the landlord’s son. However, when he refused, the landlord’s son locked him and the dead girl inside the mill and ran off to report it to the authorities.
“This oxherd already had a troubled history. When he was young, he’d randomly beaten the county master’s dog to death, then later he’d stolen a guest’s snuff bottle, and this time, he’d sexually assaulted a common girl. Naturally, he could not be absolved of his crimes. No one was willing to listen to him explain himself. He was caught red-handed with all the evidence, so he was arrested.”
Ji Tianci knew what was going to come but anticipated the emperor’s continuation of the story, whereas Liu Wuxin silently listened. “And then?”
“And then he stayed in jail for a few months. When autumn came, he was sentenced to death, to be hung at the execution platform outside the city. As he followed along the execution procession winding through the fields, he suddenly saw someone about to slaughter an ox not far in the distance. He could tell at a glance that the ox was the very same one he’d been tending since he was young. Now that it was old, it didn’t have the energy to plow the fields, but it still needed to graze. However, if it only ate and performed no labor, what use was it to the landlord? It had plowed fields for them its whole life, but in the end, they were going to butcher it and eat its meat.”
Even as he spoke of this cruelty, the emperor’s expression was filled with joy and all smiles. “That oxherd had grown up riding on the back of that ox, and he had told it many of his secrets, had fed it hay, had hugged its neck and cried when he’d been wronged, and taken it for his only family in this world.
“So he knelt down and begged the executioner to let him go bid farewell to the ox. Of course, the executioner didn’t believe there could be any such attachment between man and beast, so he thought the boy was only trying to pull a trick and didn’t allow it.”
And then that oxherd was hung to die. The ox was butchered. Hot blood flowed all over the ground, and those who gathered to watch the show dispersed. That night, the landlord’s household ate beef, but the beef was old and kept getting stuck in their teeth. They ate a little, didn’t like it, and dumped the rest.”
With the completion of his story, Taxian-Jun looked at them with pride and asked, “how was it?”
Ji Tianci and Liu Wuxin had no words. The former felt respect for Taxian-Jun and was in awe of the genius of the story whereas the latter was speechless after hearing this nonsensical story that only ended with death and (in his opinion) could have been changed.
“Your majesty is good at telling stories!” “You suck at telling stories.”
Taxian-Jun shook his head, “you wouldn’t understand. How was it Luo Binghe?”
He turned his head and looked at the sleeping figure of Luo Binghe, the silence that followed only annoyed him so he looked back at Liu Wuxin and Ji Tianci. “Go sleep. Go.”
“Why is the story called ‘Ox eats Grass’ though?”
Liu Wuxin begrudgingly asked.
“Because just like people, an ox has to eat. If you want to eat, you have to do a lot of work. If one day you can’t work anymore, then no one will care if you’re alive or if you’re dead.”
The snake demon stopped talking. No point listening to this man (ghost)’s story, his explanation was just as shit! Who could spend even a sichen conversing with this guy? He must have been an immature ruler, tyrant maybe. Nevermind, he is.
“This one thanks his majesty for blessing us with a story,” Ji Tianci smiled. The story made his eyes well up with unshed tears; truly a masterpiece. Liu Wuxin paused, what the fuck? He turned his head to face Ji Tianci’s, their faces just 20 centimetres away. “Are you dumb in the head? That was not even good enough to be considered a story.”
Taxian-Jun scoffed, the joy in his expression leaving as fast as it had came. “Ungrateful snake. Nevermind that, go to sleep or that demon will wake and start yelling.”
He paused. "Did anything amusing happen during the hot spring?"
Ji Tianci thought to himself, thinking back to when he and Luo Binghe had talked and then fought side by side. "Oh! Well, ge's towel slipped off and everyone was stunned at the size of his dick."
"...." "PFFT-"
The emperor fell back and erupted into laughter, "HAHAHA IT REALLY SAVED YOUR ASSES!" Though an adult, his vulgarity knew no bounds.
"Can you guys shut the hell up??" Liu Wuxin punched Ji Tianci's face with full force, the youth was stunned and immediately pressed his hand to the swelling pain.
"'Ge'? You might as well call him dad from how much he orders us around and scolds us like an old bastard!" Taxian-Jun wheezed out through his laugh, tears clung to his eyelashes and his sides began to hurt. Even if he committed suicide, the emperor might as well die a second time from laughter. 'Here lies Mo Ran who died heroically while laughing.'