Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, Luther, what do you got?” Ethan asks, bracing himself against the truck and peering into the open window expectantly. 

“Give me a second,” Luther responds from inside the car, fingers flying across the keyboard. After a short moment he blows out a breath. “Damn,” he murmurs, “looks like one hell of a storm we got here.” 

He turns the screen so Ethan can see and, indeed, his friend is right. One hell of a storm. The thought makes Ethan’s body tingle with excitement. So far, there’s only a light breeze in the air and the dark clouds forming in the distance are the sole sign that bad weather is coming. That can’t fool Ethan, though. He has experienced just how fast it can go many times and the data on Luther’s screen indicates the same.

“Hey, guys,” Ethan calls as he practically bounces over to the rest of the group. Jack, Ilsa and Jane. He comes to a stop next to Ilsa and waits for everyone to gather around before he says, “we finally got one and it’s coming in fast. You ready?”

“About time,” Ilsa says,  “been ready for, like, two hours.”

Jane nods in agreement but she looks a little nervous. Ilsa seems to notice right away, pulling her into her side and rubbing her arm comfortingly. “We got this, alright?” She asks her girlfriend and Jane nods again, smiling now. “We got this.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Jack chimes in, “what the hell are we waiting for, then?” 

Ever the most impatient guy, Ethan thinks but can’t help but laugh because, honestly, he’s just the same. He cannot wait to get his eyes on this storm and, hopefully, his hands on the data they’ve been meaning to collect. To an outsider it may look like this whole storm chaser thing is just something they do for fun but they’re actually trying to help people. That’s not to say it can’t be fun at the same time. 

“He’s right, let’s roll,” Ethan announces with a grin. 

They divide into two groups so they can cover more ground because this way at least one of them might actually get close enough to the tornado. They’ve done it like this countless times and it’s a tried and true method, Ethan finds. He’s with Jack in one truck, Ilsa and Jane in the other and they’re off. Luther is staying behind with all their tech equipment, keeping a close eye on the storm and guiding the two teams over the radio. Once it’s over, they’ll meet up again and study the results. 

—

Ethan and Jack arrive at the location Luther has set for them, casually chatting and joking, and get out of the truck. One look at the sky tells Ethan that there’s still a little more time. 

When Ethan turns back to the truck, Jack is smiling at him over the hood of the car. A small, private smile that’s somehow reserved for just him as far as Ethan can tell. Maybe it means something, maybe it’s all just wishful thinking courtesy of the little crush he’s been harboring for a while now. His stomach does a swoop and, okay, maybe it’s more than just a little crush. Ethan wants to say something then, anything, as they’re looking at each other in silence, because what if this is it? What if this is the moment to just get over himself and give it a shot?

But then there’s a rumble in the distance, a telltale sign of the incoming storm. The air feels heavy and the first few raindrops land on Ethan’s arms. 

Jack turns away, breaking eye contact, and the moment is gone. When his friend turns back to him, his expression has changed into his signature smirk. Ever so mischievous, he says, “you better be ready for this one, come on!”

No time to waste, they jump back into the truck. Back to doing what they always do. What’s familiar. Easy. 

Until it isn’t anymore. 

—

When Ethan wakes up he doesn’t know where he is. He looks around, confused, and blinks to get his vision to unblur. He’s in a white, plain room and when he lifts his head his whole body feels like it’s been hit by a truck. He’s in a hospital, he realizes. Suddenly, flashes of memory are coming back to him. The storm. The thrill and excitement of chasing it with Jack. Getting directly into its path. Then nothing.

He’s about to panic when he hears soft voices in the hall, followed by a knock on the door. A moment later it opens and Ilsa looks around the corner, stepping in.

“Ethan,” she says softly, voice full of relief, “you’re finally up.” 

She crosses the room and when she gets close enough, Ethan can see the tears sparkling in her eyes. 

Ethan tries to sit up but the sharp pain in his ribs makes him stop and lean back against the pillows with a groan. 

“Hey, take it easy. It’s okay.” Ilsa sits down on the edge of the bed and gently places her hand on Ethan’s forearm. “How’re you feeling?” She asks, unusually hesitant. Normally, she’s a lot more direct, Ethan notes. Something must be seriously wrong.

“I’m fine,” Ethan mumbles, finding his voice. It feels all scratchy and rough. “What’s going on? What happened?”

Ilsa’s brows furrow and she presses her lips together. She doesn’t say anything for what feels like forever and Ethan gets more and more nervous.

“Ilsa?” He prompts.

She breathes in shakily and asks, “what do you remember?”

“I–” Ethan stops to think, “uh– let’s see, we were out on the field. Jack and I. We saw the tornado not far from us and went after it and then–”

“Come on, go go go go go!” Jack yells, urging Ethan on. They’re so close now, the storm in front of them,  but it’s not good enough to get what they need. 

Ethan floors it, barely able to control the truck anymore with the wind all around them. The fact that he can see next to nothing because of the rain and the hail doesn’t exactly make it any easier. 

“I got it, I got it,” he yells back, “hold on!” 

Suddenly, the tornado changes directions, cutting them off, and the truck spins around violently. “Fuck,” Ethan curses, gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

The car comes to a stop eventually as the storm rages on, too close for comfort. It’s still shaking and Ethan knows they need to get out and find shelter. Staying in the car is the worst idea. One look at Jack in the passenger seat tells him his friend has the same thought. 

“Let’s go,” Jack says and they force the doors open, jumping out of the truck and making a run for it. There’s an overpass nearby and Ethan realizes it’s their only chance.

They push on, the wind pulling on their hair, on their clothes, threatening to blow them away as if they’re merely stick figures. 

“Ethan!” 

Ethan turns to find Jack struggling and he grabs his hand, holding on tightly. He pulls Jack closer to the overpass. “We’re almost there, come on!” Ethan yells against the wind. 

When they finally make it, Ethan starts climbing up, still not letting go of Jack’s hand, which makes it decidedly harder to get up. 

“Ethan, go!” Jack yanks his hand away and gets down on the ground, trying to hold on but there’s only grass and loose gravel. 

Ethan gets further up and when he finds some poles to hold on to, he leans down and reaches out to Jack. “Jack, come on!” 

His friend grabs his hand again and Ethan pulls with all his strength but Jack can still barely move. The storm is too close. Way too close. 

“I’ve got you,” Ethan screams desperately, “I’ve got you, I’m not letting go!”

Ethan’s eyes widen in shock when the realization kicks in and he stares at Ilsa. This can’t be right. Maybe he just doesn’t remember correctly with the concussion he most likely has, he reasons with himself. There’s no way he let Jack go. He promised not to.

“Where’s Jack?” He eventually asks, fear creeping into his voice. He’s not sure he actually wants to hear the answer. 

Ilsa goes impossibly pale and swallows hard. “Ethan–”

“Just tell me.”

Another shaky breath and Ilsa shakes her head slightly. Finally she says, “Jack– he– Ethan, I’m so sorry. He didn’t– he didn’t make it.” The last part is barely more than a whisper and Ilsa sniffles, trying to stop the tears. 

It hits Ethan out of nowhere, like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet, and he squeezes his eyes shut. This has to be a nightmare.  Jack can’t be gone. All he needs to do is wake up.

When he dares to open his eyes, though, it’s all still the same. Ilsa is still sitting next to him, her grip on his arm tightening while she uses her free hand to wipe her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” his best friend repeats, her voice breaking. 

“He– I don’t– I,” Ethan struggles to form any coherent thought and eventually he can’t hold his tears back anymore either. 

Ignoring the sharp pain in his whole body, he scoots up and leans forward, enveloping Ilsa in a tight hug and holding on for dear life. He’s fully sobbing now, chest heaving painfully as he’s trying to breathe. All he can think is I did this. I failed and now Jack’s dead because of me.

—

The next couple of weeks are harder than anything Ethan has ever experienced. The recovery from his own injuries, of course, but the grief is worse. Infinitely worse. He doesn’t know how to cope with it and he can’t accept that Jack will never come back. The rest of his friends are there all the time and they all support each other because it’s not just him that lost a friend, it’s Luther, Ilsa and Jane, too. But Ethan was the one who was with Jack. He was the one who could have saved him and no matter how many times his friends tell him that he isn’t to blame, Ethan still feels like he is.

—

Years pass. Twenty to be exact. A lot happens and Ethan even tries to get a regular job at one point when he meets Julia and they fall in love. He wants to do it for her even if chasing storms is what he’s meant to do. He thinks that maybe the distance from it all could help him get over what happened with Jack because even all those years haven’t absolved him of the guilt that’s always lingering somewhere in the back of his mind. It works for a while, not thinking about it, just banishing the thoughts from his mind. Julia and their new life together are a good distraction for Ethan and he tells himself he’s all in. They get married and buy a nice house a little way from Ethan’s childhood home, his parent’s farm. It’s nice, really, and he doesn’t constantly encounter situations that trigger the dreaded memories. Of course, his friends are still very much his friends, a remnant of his old life, a tether that always keeps him connected to it. His friends who still keep doing their job and who he hears talk about it constantly. They’re supportive and understanding but they do miss him there with them and if he’s being honest he misses working with them and getting out there, too. 

As it turns out, ignorance isn’t bliss and even though Ethan tells himself every day that he’s made the right choice, his mind is set on making him doubt himself. He tries to hide it from Julia but his wife knows him too well. She sees right through him and knows that he misses his job, knows the look on his face when the others leave to chase some storm and he stays behind. Eventually, he can’t take it anymore and, with Julia’s encouragement, joins his team again. It doesn’t go so well, there’s a big storm and they almost get hurt. Julia has to drive out in the storm to come get them because there’s an issue with the truck and, suddenly, she’s in immediate danger as well. Even weeks later Ethan can’t stop thinking about it, about what could have happened. He’s so busy blaming himself for something that didn’t even happen, he loses sight of what actually matters. He isolates himself and when Julia tries to talk to him about it he retreats further. Often it ends in them fighting. Eventually Julia, bless her, understands how much Ethan is struggling, why he’s struggling. She’s always had a feel for people, even before she became a doctor. They finally manage to have a real conversation and, after a lot of deliberation, make the decision to get a divorce. It’s okay, Ethan figures, they’re still going to be friends. 

He isn’t seeing anybody new, not seriously, even if everyone around him bothers him about it. He tells them he doesn’t have time for a relationship but really he’s not ready to ride the emotional roller coaster again and get his heart broken. Or worse, break someone else’s heart. Instead, he fully focuses on the job. He’s going after every storm possible, he collects a whole lot of data, he studies it. A lot. At least it distracts him, keeps him busy and that’s exactly what Ethan thinks he needs. 

Chapter Text

“So,” Julia says, sounding perfectly casual, as they’re standing next to each other in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the whole group. 

“So?” Ethan asks, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“You talk to anyone interesting these days?”

Oh. This is where this is going, Ethan thinks, again. He tries not to roll his eyes but she sees right through him, anyway. 

Julia sighs. “Ethan, come on,” she says, not unkindly, “we’ve talked about this. You– I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy,” Ethan retorts, stepping away and wiping his hands on a dish towel. He leans against the counter, eyes wandering around the room until they fixate on the window and what’s going on outside. The others are already sitting around the table in the backyard, talking and laughing. 

“Are you?”

The question makes Ethan turn back to her, finding her looking at him in concern. He drags a hand through his hair with a sigh. Finally he asks,  “why wouldn’t I be?” 

“We’ve been divorced for, what, two years now? I’m just– you know, I worry sometimes. There’s someone out there for you.” 

This time Ethan really rolls his eyes but he can’t be mad at Julia. She comes to stand next to him, lightly knocking her shoulder into his. “I know, I know,” she says. “Sorry for bringing it up. It’s none of my business. Just– I’m really happy with Erik and you deserve that, too.”

Ethan nods and gives her a small smile. “I know, Jules.”

The thing is, he’s happy for Julia. She’s an incredible woman and despite their marriage not working out they’ve been great as friends. It’s easier that way, for her, to accept what Ethan does, all the danger he’s getting into on a regular basis. That really was the main issue in their relationship and Ethan can’t blame her. Being with someone that might not come back home every time they leave for their job. No, Julia deserves someone who can be there for her, who’s reliable, who’s safe and that’s not something he can’t offer. Not to her and not to anyone else. 

He looks out the window again, seeing Ilsa press a kiss to Jane’s cheek before dropping her head on her wife’s shoulder. They got married not long after the incident and have been happy ever since.  It went similarly with Luther and his wife. Ethan is genuinely happy for his friends. They're his team. They’re his favorite people in the world, they’re his family, and that’s all he needs. Besides, no one that isn’t doing what they do would get it and the last thing he wants to do is to make someone unhappy just by being who he is and doing what he’s supposed to do. 

—

“So, did you hear from StormPar again?” 

Luther nods in response. “One of their guys called me yesterday. Uh– Benjamin Dunn, I think,” he replies around his last bite of food. “Meteorologist from New York,” he adds, “or, well, England originally.”

Ethan raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “What did he want?”

Luther shrugs. “Doing research, I guess,” he says. “Told me on the phone he was gonna come out here from New York to work with their local team. Said he would like to look at our data, which is why he called me in the first place.”

“Are you serious?” 

“He’s gonna be here next week,” Luther continues, “just in time for that big storm front.”

Ethan rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. They’ve had some issues with StormPar for the past couple of years. It’s this company that’s going around trying to sell insurance to people or whatever. It all seems very vague and sketchy, if Ethan is being honest. They’re even offering to buy people’s property after a storm hits instead of offering real support. No, it’s clear as day that they’re not actually trying to help people. They’re in this to make a profit. Ethan doesn’t trust them a single bit, so needless to say he’s not thrilled about them sniffing around. “Whatever,” he says, “he’s not getting our data.”

Ilsa makes a disapproving sound from the other side of the table. “Ethan,” she chides.

“What?” 

“You’re being very intense, alright?” 

“I’m just saying, I’m not really looking to help StormPar, of all things,” Ethan explains, matter-of-fact, “they’re no good and you know it.”

“I do know that,” Ilsa agrees. “But you know damn well we’re the best there is,” she says, gesturing around the table. “We’re just gonna ignore them and do our thing. We can handle it. We have for months, haven’t we?”

Luther and Jane nod along and Ethan knows he’s outnumbered. “Alright,” he concedes.

—

“See you tomorrow!”

“Yep. Night, Will,” Benji says as  he goes up the stairs of the motel, his backpack heavy on his shoulders and more bags in both of his hands. He curses under his breath when he almost misses a step and loses his balance for a split second. Eventually, he makes it up to the door and sets his stuff down on either side of him to get the key that the guy at the reception just gave him out of his pocket. He has to jiggle the lock a little and he briefly wonders what he’s gotten himself into but then the door opens and he lets out a relieved breath. So far, so good.

With his last bit of energy he drags all his stuff into the room and plops down on the bed. To his surprise it’s not as uncomfortable as he expected which makes him want to go to sleep immediately. The trip was long and he’ll still have time to unpack in the morning. Looking at his bags on the floor he’s beginning to think he brought way too much stuff. After all, it’s just for two weeks. Maybe less, if it doesn’t go well. The only person, aside from the StormPar team, he has talked to is a guy called Luther from a local team of tornado chasers, or whatever they call themselves. It sounds a bit silly to him, not to mention reckless. Very, very reckless. He hopes that he won’t have to associate with them all too much and, anyway, who knows if they’ll actually end up letting him take a look at their data. Luther sounded uncommitted on the phone. What Benji does know is that he will be driving around with Will most of the time, trying to gather their own data with the newly developed system that StormPar came up with. Which, really, is one of the main reasons why his boss wants Benji to be here in the first place. Benji has had a major part in developing the devices and, of course, he expected to try them out eventually but he didn’t think that it would happen quite that fast. But now he’s here. In Oklahoma, in the middle of nowhere. 

Usually, Benji is not the spontaneous type. He likes to have a plan. A thorough and detailed plan that considers every possibility. This little adventure, as Benji has taken to calling it in his head, is decidedly not that. But maybe a little change in scenery wouldn’t be so bad. Besides, this might really help his career. Hunley, his boss, told him as much and Benji would really rather avoid getting into any trouble with him. He likes his job, after all. 

Chapter Text

Benji and Will are having breakfast at a nearby diner before getting started for the day. Benji has come up with a route that looks promising based on the weather data and he’s optimistic. He’s just about to eat the last bite of his pancakes when he sees two trucks roll into the parking lot. The thing that immediately catches his attention is how the cars seem to be equipped with all sorts of stuff for, well, what exactly? To withstand storms? Either way, it looks a little too experimental if you ask him.

Benji keeps watching them as someone gets out of one of the trucks. He squints a little and, wait, it looks like Luther. Benji recognizes him from a picture online. Then the doors of the second truck swing open and two women get out, laughing. Finally, another guy gets out and turns around towards the diner, gesturing and saying something to Luther. Damn, Benji thinks, even from this far away he can tell how attractive the guy is. 

“Hello? Earth to Benji!” Will’s voice drags Benji out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“You’re staring,” Will says, an eyebrow raised. “What’s so interesting out there?”

“Uh– nothing. Sorry,” Benji waves him off. “I think those tornado chasers have arrived.” He makes air quotes around tornado chasers.

Will leans forward across the table so he can take a look out of the window and nods. “Seems like it.”

“Do you think they’ll talk to me?”

“You tell me,” Will gives back, watching as the group makes their way across the parking lot, “you talked to them, not me.”

Benji makes a face. Now that he’s here it all makes him a little more nervous than he’d like to admit. He’s never done any of this before and studying data in an office in New York is decidedly different from what he’s about to do. 

He scrubs a hand down his face and finally says, “you’re right.” With that, he stands, brushing his hands on his jeans. “I’ll see what I can do.”

—

“Excuse me, uh– hey,” Benji calls as he approaches, “Luther?”

The other man looks up from his screen and squints at him against the sun. So far it doesn’t exactly look like there’s a big storm coming. 

“Benjamin Dunn,” Benji introduces himself once he comes to stand in front of the other man. “We talked on the phone the other week,” he adds, “I’m here from New York?”

He holds out his hand and feels Luther look at it before he finally shakes it firmly. “Yeah, I remember. Hey man,” he greets him. “Good to meet you, Benjamin. I’m Luther.”

Benji nods and looks around before he says, “just Benji is fine, by the way.”

“Alright, then,” Luther nods. 

“Great,” Benji says, a little awkwardly. Then the screen in front of him catches his attention. “So, what are you working on? Anything for today?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” Luther says and angles the screen towards Benji. “Here, see? There’s this big storm front moving in over the next couple of days,” he explains and points at the red areas moving in from outside the frame, “and this seems to be just the beginning.”

Benji’s eyes widen a little. “Pretty big already,” he says. “We never see anything like this in New York, obviously.”

“I bet,” Luther huffs out a laugh, “that’s why you’re here, am I right?” 

“That’s why I’m here,” Benji agrees. “Look, my colleague and I are going out there today to collect some data but, like I said on the phone, I would love to take a look at yours. For comparison and, well, the more information the better. So– uh, if you–”

“Sure,” Luther cuts him off and Benji realizes he’s been rambling. “I gotta talk to Ethan, though. Hey, you know what, you should go talk to him. He’s over there.” Luther points across the parking lot and Benji sees a guy standing there, looking at the sky. 

—

When Benji gets closer he’s able to fully take in the man’s – Ethan’s – appearance. He’s even more attractive than Benji thought back in the diner half an hour ago which is kind of unfair seeing how he’s just wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans. It shouldn’t make him look that good but alas. Benji swallows and shakes his head at himself. He’s being ridiculous. He needs to focus on his work. 

The gravel crunches under his feet as he crosses the last bit of distance. It must alert Ethan to him because the man turns around. He’s wearing sunglasses but even so Benji can tell that Ethan is giving him a once-over. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” Benji says and immediately cringes internally at himself. 

“No worries,” Ethan gives back casually and takes off his sunglasses. He squints at Benji for a moment, making him feel oddly squirmy. 

“I’m–”

“Let me guess,” Ethan cuts him off, “you’re the guy from New York? Benjamin, if I remember correctly?”

Oh. Benji’s eyes widen a little in surprise. He didn’t exactly expect anyone here to be actually waiting for him. Eventually he nods. “That’s me,” he says, “just Benji, though.”

“Just Benji,” Ethan repeats after a moment of silence and his eyes are locked on Benji’s, considering him. “I’m Ethan.”

Benji can’t help but feel that Ethan is guarded somehow. Friendly enough, especially seeing how they’ve never met before, but distant all the same. 

“Nice to meet you,” Benji says eventually and Ethan just nods, turning back towards the sky. 

“What do you make of this?” He asks, eyes never leaving the small clouds forming in the distance. 

“Me?” Benji is caught off guard. 

“Is anyone else here?” Ethan counters and Benji flushes, embarrassed. 

“Uh–” Benji starts with a nervous laugh, “no, sorry.” He considers the sky for a moment and forces himself to concentrate. “Well, these cloud formations over there,” he says, pointing, “look quite promising. The air feels sort of heavy, too. So, I’d say we gotta go out there soon.”

Ethan makes a noise of approval and nods. “You ever done this before?” He asks and squints at Benji, giving him another look up and down, before putting his sunglasses back on. 

Benji swallows nervously. Something about Ethan is very, well, intense. “No,” he slowly admits. “Not much of that in New York. Or London, for that matter.”

“London, huh?” 

“Uh, yeah. Born and raised. I came to New York a couple years ago, for work,” Benji explains. 

Ethan continues looking at him for another moment that feels like forever and Benji resists the urge to look away. 

“You’re a long way from home,” the other man states, “so, how come you’re out here?” 

“StormPar. I worked on the new system for ages and we’re finally ready to test it. Hunley, my boss, wanted me here for it in person.”

“Right,” Ethan repeats under his breath, “StormPar”, and Benji could swear he sees the other man roll his eyes behind his sunglasses. 

Benji’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. What the hell just happened? Benji was under the impression they were after the same thing. Gathering data, studying the weather, helping people. That has always been his plan, anyway. Sure, the science behind it all had originally drawn him to this line of work, he couldn’t deny he was somewhat of a nerd, but realizing that this could actually save people, that was a whole other level of motivation. Why else would anyone do this? 

“Anything wrong with that?” He asks, maybe a little too sharply, because Ethan holds up his hands in surrender and shakes his head. 

“Forget I said anything,” Ethan says. “Good luck, then. I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for.” With that, he turns to leave.

“You didn’t,” Benji gives back and takes a step to keep up with Ethan. 

“What?”

“Say anything,” Benji clarifies, acutely aware that their interaction is growing more awkward by the second. “You didn’t say anything.” 

“Right.” Ethan keeps walking towards the trucks, clearly done with the conversation. 

“Wait,” Benji tries, “wh–”

“Hey, guys,” Ethan calls out to his team, ignoring Benji now, “let’s go!” He gets into his truck and closes the door before Benji can finish his thought. All that’s left for him to do is watch as Ethan and his team drive away, mouth slightly open in confusion. 

—

“What was all that about?” Will’s voice drags Benji out of his thoughts. Benji turns around to see his colleague raising his eyebrows at him. 

“I have no idea,” Benji says with a shrug, “but I don’t think we’re getting their data.”

“Why not?” Will’s eyes are wide. “You do know we kinda depend on that, right? Do I need to remind you that–”

“Will,” Benji cuts him off, “just– relax.”

“Relax?”

Benji nods. “I know this is important. But this guy, Ethan, he– well, something I said made him pretty mad, I think.”

Will scoffs and rolls his eyes. “He’s probably just an asshole. Walks around like he owns the place? Like he knows everything? Come on, Benji.”

“Maybe,” Benji mumbles, unsure. He can’t really shake the feeling that there’s more to it, somehow. There’s something about Ethan he can’t quite put his finger on and, sure, he’s not exactly a people expert or anything, he mostly keeps to his family and his small circle of friends, but there is something. He almost gets lost in his thoughts when Will reminds him that they still have a job to do.

“Are we going or what?” His colleague asks impatiently and Benji can’t do anything but get in their StormPar truck to head out to the storm. 

Chapter Text

“Ethan?” Ilsa asks from the passenger seat, interrupting Ethan’s thoughts. 

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” 

Ethan furrows his brows and gives her a quick look before going back to focusing on the road in front of him. They’re currently following a lead Luther picked up this morning. For the past few days they haven’t been exactly lucky. Jane caught some kind of stomach bug so they’re a team member short and although there have been a couple of smaller tornados it hasn’t been enough to help them get new data. Which consequently will also stop them from continuing their latest project, one that might be able to stop a tornado all together before it can cause damage. It’s important but it’s standing still for now. A part of Ethan wants to blame StormPar always getting in their way, especially with these two new guys around. They keep running into each other which shouldn’t be surprising but Ethan is still annoyed about it. 

“I’m serious,” Ilsa presses, “what’s going on?”

“Just stressed, I guess,” Ethan says. “Can’t really do any work like this.” He looks in his rearview mirror and scoffs. “See?”

“Wh–” Ilsa starts, then twists in her seat to look out the window. “Oh.”

A StormPar van is following behind them, this colleague of Benji’s – Will? – on the wheel.  Ilsa turns back and slumps in her seat a little.

“Yeah,” Ethan sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“You gotta admit, this Benji knows his stuff,” Ilsa says after a moment, “especially for someone who says he hasn’t done this before.”

Ethan makes a face. The thing is, Ilsa is right. He does know his stuff. Ethan doesn’t quite know why it makes him so angry. It’s not like he knows the guy or anything, they’ve barely even talked since that first day.

“He might be good but the whole StormPar thing? Come on,” Ethan finally says, sounding agitated. “Why work for those people?”

“I don’t–” 

“Ethan? Ilsa? Come in!” The radio interrupts Ilsa. 

“We’re here,” Ethan gives back automatically, the conversation forgotten, “what’s up Luther?”

“There’s a storm moving towards a town near you right this second,” comes Luther’s prompt reply. 

“Shit,” Ethan curses under his breath. “Is there–”

“Nothing we can do,” Luther cuts him off as if reading his mind, “just help pick up the pieces after.” He sighs, sounding tired. They have been working without much of a break for days and the strain is starting to show on all of them. 

“Let’s go, then,” Ilsa says, a sad expression on her face. They all have seen the horrible destruction a storm like this can leave behind too many times. Surely this time is not going to be any different. 

Ethan nods. “We’re on our way,” he agrees. He reroutes them and turns right at the next opportunity, away from their initial destination. Another look in the rearview mirror reveals that StormPar is still following them.

“For fuck’s sake,” Ethan mumbles angrily and Ilsa twists in her seat to see what he’s so mad about. 

“What’s their plan, just follow us all day?” She asks with a sigh. 

Ethan shrugs and pushes on. The sooner they make it to town the better. Lots of people will need their help. 

“Well, at least more hands to help everyone,” Ilsa says after a moment and Ethan scoffs. 

“Help?” He mocks, “you know they don’t.”

Ilsa shrugs. “Just trying to stay positive.”

—

When they get closer to town they can already see the path of destruction. Ethan’s insides twist uncomfortably. No matter how many times he sees this, he will never get used to the feeling of dread and helplessness. He loves his job, sure, but this is the ugly truth of it. Which is exactly what he wants to be able to avoid one day, if they’re successful. 

They drive a bit further before pulling over and starting to unload supplies. They always bring basics like food and bottled water for situations like this. Ilsa starts handing things out to the people on the street while Ethan walks around, assessing the situation. 

“My dog is still in there,” a man shouts across the street while someone else is trying to pull him away from the rubble. The whole house came down in the storm, as it seems. Ethan immediately jogs over. 

“In there?” He asks, pointing, and the man nods pleadingly. “I’ll get him out,” Ethan promises and gets to work. 

—

“Why are you still following them, do you think I made the whole plan for–” Benji starts but snaps his mouth shut when he sees a town in front of him. Or, well, what’s left of it. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Will agrees, eyes wide, as he slows down the car. 

He parks the van a little away from Ethan’s truck and they both get out. “There’s Hunley,” Will tells Benji, nodding in the man’s general direction, “let’s go talk to him.”

As they’re walking over to meet their boss, Benji can’t help but notice Ethan and the rest of the team running around. Handing out water and food. Looking through the rubble. Benji’s breath catches when he sees Ethan with a small puppy in his arm, stepping out of the remnants of a house. 

“Dunn?”

Benji tears his eyes away from Ethan when Will elbows him. “Huh?”

Hunley arches an eyebrow and Benji realizes that he must have asked him a question. “I’m sorry. This is,” he starts, gesturing to their surroundings and swallowing hard against the lump in his throat, “just really– yeah. You were saying?”

His boss shakes his head ever so slightly and fixes him with a stern look. “I was saying, I’ve just had some promising conversations with the people here. There’s a bar owner, for instance, who’s really interested in our–”

Benji knows he should listen but Hunley is droning on about whatever and Benji simply can’t focus. He feels gutted. These poor people. They just lost everything. And then there’s Ethan. Helpful and kind and perfect. What? No! Abort, abort. He cannot start thinking like this. He doesn’t know Ethan. They have barely talked at all and by the looks of it, Ethan would do anything to avoid it. God, the man shouldn’t distract him as much as he does. 

“Anyway, now that we have them pretty much ready to sign, we just need a little bit of data to get our point across,” Hunley finishes, “think you can do it?” He looks at Benji and Will expectantly. 

“Uh–”

“Yes,” Will jumps in when Benji doesn’t react. “Of course, sir.” 

“Well, I should hope so,” Hunley returns, matter of fact. “A lot depends on your success. StormPar is counting on you.” He shoots Benji another look before he walks off, approaching another person with his pile of contracts in hand. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Dunn?” Will hisses, throwing his arms in the air, when Hunley is out of earshot. 

Benji barely registers it. He needs to do something. More than just standing around talking about data and contracts and whatnot. He needs to actually help. “Excuse me, alright?” He doesn’t even wait for Will’s response and ignores him when he calls after him. Instead, he makes his way over to Luther’s van. Ilsa is handing out stuff to people in front of it. 

“Ilsa, right?” Benji says once he’s there. “Hey.”

Ilsa nods. “Hi,” she says distractedly. “What’s up? We’re kinda swamped right now, so I don’t–”

Benji clears his throat and shakes his head. The last thing he wants Ilsa to think is that he came over to bother them about their data again. Much less in a situation like this. “I just want to help,” he clarifies, “what can I do?”

“Oh.” Ilsa looks up at him for the first time, a little surprised. Most of the time her face doesn’t seem to give any of her feelings away. “Okay, well, you can just hand out some bottled water. It’s in the back,” she instructs, “and take whatever you need, you look a little pale.”

Benji just nods. 

“You alright?” Ilsa asks. 

“Yeah. Sorry, yes, I’m good. It’s just, you know– uh, a lot.” 

Ilsa’s face softens and she nods understandingly. “I get it,” she says. “Thanks for helping, Benji.”

“Of course,” he responds and sends her a small smile before getting to work. 

—

Ethan is just helping a young couple go through the mess in their front yard, looking for some of their valuables when he spots Benji coming across the street. He saw him earlier already, out of the corner of his eye, when he was returning the cute little puppy to his owner. Thankfully the dog was just fine. Scared but not hurt. 

Ethan doesn’t know what to make of Benji being here. He saw his colleague take off in their van earlier, slamming the car door as he went and wondered what was going on, why Benji didn’t go with him. But he had also seen Alan Hunley, the guy from StormPar, making his rounds, surely trying to buy people out again after they just lost everything. It’s disgusting and Benji works for these people. But he’s also the only one of them who’s still here, who’s actually helping. So, there’s that. 

With a sigh, Ethan gets up from his crouched position and rolls his shoulders. 

“Hey, Ethan,” Benji says and lifts his hand for a small wave. “Need any help?”

“Benji,” Ethan gives back with a nod and then looks around. “I think we’re about done here.” He doesn’t even mean for it to come out the way it does, harsh and sort of rude. It’s just that they have actually pretty much done everything they could. 

“Oh.” Benji seems to deflate at that and looks down at his shoes, kicking the dirt. “Alright.” With that, he turns on his heel and starts walking away. 

“Hey, Benji!” Ethan calls out, “Benji, wait a second.”

Hesitantly, Benji stops and turns back to him. There’s uncertainty in his eyes and for some reason Ethan hates it. Hates that he put it there when Benji meant well.

“What?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Ethan says. “It’s just– there’s nothing we can do here anymore. Thanks for offering, though.”

Benji’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead as if he didn’t expect this. “Sure thing, mate,” he says, still a hint of hurt in his voice from before.

“I mean it,” Ethan tries again. 

“Alright.” This time, there is a tiny smile on Benji’s face and Ethan is relieved. It doesn’t last long, exactly, because then Benji says, “look, I get it. StormPar, I mean, we have been getting in your way the past week. And this is your thing, you don’t like sharing. I don’t blame you for it. It’s just that–”

“What?”

“Uh– clearly, we’ve got off on the wrong foot but I was just hoping we can work together. People around here need help and I think we–” Benji continues. 

Ethan’s eyebrows draw together and he holds up a hand to stop Benji. “Hold on,” he says, “is that what you think is bothering me? You somehow taking my spot or whatever?”

Benji stops, mouth slightly open. “Uh, I just figured–”

Ethan lets out a humorless laugh and shakes his head. “Unbelievable,” he mutters. He runs a hand through his hair to try and compose himself before turning back to Benji. “That’s not at all what this is,” he finally says. “It’s StormPar, okay, you got that much right. If you really don’t know what’s going on, please look around. Do you really think this,” he gestures at the destruction all around them, “is the right time to try and buy someone out of their property? Their home? It’s cruel to exploit people like that and I don’t want any part in that.”

Benji just stares at him, opens his mouth, then closes it again, speechless. Ethan scans his face and wonders if this is the first time he hears about this. That’s impossible, though, right? He must know what the company he works for is doing. Unless–

“I have to get to the motel,” Benji interrupts his thoughts suddenly. “Lots of research to do,” he adds so quietly that Ethan almost doesn’t catch it. 

“The motel next to the diner from the other day, I assume?” Ethan asks. “We can give you a ride.” He should be mad, he thinks, he shouldn’t want to help this guy who works for this kind of  company but Ethan can’t help himself. 

“Oh, I don’t–”  Benji hesitates, looking around and seeing that Will definitely left before he turns back to Ethan. “Okay, uh– sure. If you guys don’t mind. Thank you.”

Ethan gives him a small smile and motions for him to follow him to his truck and Luther’s van. Ilsa and Luther are in the process of packing up and soon they’re all on the road, Benji in the backseat of Ethan’s truck. Ilsa sits in the front, chatting with Ethan for most of the way. They seem so close, so familiar with each other, it makes Benji’s heart hurt a little. He doesn’t have this. Not with anyone. He thought he did, once, but he had been sorely mistaken. Not that he wants to think about that right now. There are much more pressing issues. Like how his boss is putting immense pressure on him and if he doesn’t deliver he’ll be out of a job soon. Then again, after what Ethan said, is he even sure anymore what his job entails? There are so many thoughts swirling around in his brain, threatening to overwhelm him. He’s incredibly tired and he can already feel a headache coming on. 

“We’re here,” Ethan says and turns to look at Benji. He raises an eyebrow when Benji startles but doesn’t say anything. 

“Great,” Benji says, forcing himself to sound normal, “thanks again!”

“Sure thing,” Ethan responds.

Before it can get any more awkward, Benji grabs his backpack and gets out of the car. “See you around,” he says before he closes the door and it sounds a lot more like a question than a statement. Then he quickly shuts the door and makes his way across the parking lot, not looking back. 

Chapter Text

Benji plops down on his bed with a big sigh. He’s exhausted. But this isn’t the time to rest, not when he has research to do. He reaches down and grabs his laptop from the floor next to the bed and opens it up, wasting no time to get started. He pops Hunley’s name and StormPar into Google and squints his eyes at the bright screen. 

Soon, Benji comes across a recent article and the more he reads, the bigger the pit in his stomach grows. Hunley buying enormous amounts of land, taking it from people who were desperate after losing everything they owned in a storm. In fact, it’s exactly what Ethan said. Hunley is exploiting people’s tragedy and suffering. StormPar is. And if that’s what the company he works for does, then Benji is just as guilty. His head is spinning from all the information and from the sheer disappointment of what he just learned. Back in New York, when he started this job, he was proud to be part of something that helps people. But now? It’s all been a lie. 

Before Benji’s thoughts can spiral out of control any further, there’s a knock on his door. Who the hell…?

Maybe it’s Will, Benji thinks as he gets up from his spot on the bed, leaving the laptop and the dreadful article behind. Maybe he wants to apologize for taking off earlier. Maybe, more likely, he’s here to yell at Benji some more. 

Already expecting the latter, Benji swings open the door and starts, “Will, I–”

The words die on his lips immediately when he’s greeted with Ethan’s face instead, looking at him with raised eyebrows. 

“Expecting someone?” Ethan asks and looks over his shoulder, then back at Benji. 

“Nah,” Benji shakes his head, “sorry about that.” 

“I thought you could use some food,” Ethan says next, almost hesitantly, and that’s when Benji notices the pizza box in his hands. 

Oh. 

Benji looks up at him again and finds the other man smiling at him now. Despite himself, Benji’s stomach does a small swoop. Or maybe a slightly bigger swoop, alright? He’s beautiful, Benji thinks, looking at Ethan in the dim light of the motel hallway. 

“Benji?” 

Right, shit. Benji snaps out of it and gives Ethan a quick nod. “Pizza sounds great right now,” he says, making his voice sound as casual as possible. “I’m starving.”

Ethan’s smile gets bigger as Benji is taking the box out of his hands, their fingers brushing for the tiniest moment. 

“Uh–” Benji hesitates, “you wanna come in, or–?” He doesn’t want to impose, of course. Ethan probably has places to be and people to be with. He’s just being nice, Benji is sure of it.

“I’d like that,” Ethan replies to his surprise, stepping into the room as Benji automatically takes a step back. 

He hurriedly grabs some of his clothes laying around and puts them on a messy pile on the chair. “Sorry about the mess,” he mumbles, embarrassed. 

Ethan just shrugs with a grin. He motions to the open laptop on the bed. “Busy?”

“Right, about that,” Benji says and walks over, “come sit.” He pats the spot next to him on the bed and grabs his laptop. 

Their knees brush when Ethan does as he’s told and the traitorous butterflies in Benji’s stomach go crazy once more. He ignores them and forces himself to focus, angling the screen towards Ethan. “Is this what you were talking about earlier?” He asks. 

Ethan’s eyes move across the screen and then he nods. “Yeah, they've been doing this since they started here, a couple years ago,” he says. 

“I didn’t know,” Benji admits quietly. 

Ethan studies him for a moment, serious eyes searching Benji’s. Then he says, “figured as much after your reaction.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Just–” Benji sighs and drags a hand through his hair, “just, you know, for not getting it. I mean, it’s my fault. I’ve been doing this job for ages and I never once stopped to think about it. I guess being out here changes everything. Like, seeing the real life consequences and all that. I’ve only ever been in my office in New York feeling really good about what I was doing. You know, I got into this field because of the science. I loved it. But when I got the job with StormPar I thought, man, I’m doing something important. Something that actually impacts people. Turns out I’ve been a total idiot and so naive and–”

“Benji,” Ethan cuts him off, suddenly. He’s been rambling again, hasn’t he? That’s certainly a habit that has been annoying to a lot of people in his life, or so he’s been told. 

“Sorry,” Benji says, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment, “it’s true, though.”

Ethan seems to mull it over in his head for a moment before he says, “I think you’re being a little hard on yourself. You clearly know your stuff. I mean, Ilsa was really impressed.”

“Ilsa?” Benji feels a little caught off guard and if he was any more confident he would say something else, try to flirt with Ethan, maybe. But, besides, he’s sure that him and Ilsa are–

“Well, not just her,” Ethan adds, and knocks his shoulder into Benji’s, easy grin back on his face.

Benji stares at him, trying to come up with a cool, funny, casual response but his brain lets him down. Before long, Ethan continues. Unexpected as ever. 

“Come on,” he says, “I wanna show you something.” 

—

Ethan believes Benji, he decides. His response to finding the articles was genuine. He really had no idea. Which now brings them to this moment. Ethan takes Benji to a nearby rodeo. Talk about cliche or whatever but it’s how Ethan grew up and he likes this place, he likes his home and the things that come with it. 

“A rodeo?” Benji asks and Ethan finds himself smiling at the other man’s wide-eyed disbelief. He’s cute. Wait a second, what? 

“Never seen one, I take it?” he replies with an easy grin, tamping down the feeling. 

“Can’t say I have.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re here, then.” Ethan motions for Benji to follow him to their seats. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Benji smile. 

“It’s like a whole different world,” Benji says as they’re watching. “Does everyone here own a cowboy hat?” 

Ethan laughs. “What?”

“Look around. I feel out of place,” Benji replies, laughing too.

“I’m not wearing one, either,” Ethan reminds him. 

That makes Benji turn and narrow his eyes at him, grinning. “But you have one, am I right?”

Ethan rolls his eyes playfully. “I grew up here,” he says. 

“So that’s a yes,” Benji concludes, still laughing. “I don’t, if you were wondering,” he adds. 

“Always been a city guy, then?”

Benji nods. “Grew up in London and lived there most of my life. A few years ago I came to New York for work and because I wanted a change of scenery, I guess. I don’t think I ever actually got that change of scenery until I came here, though.”

Ethan laughs again. “It’s definitely not New York,” he agrees. “I’ve never lived somewhere else. Been here my whole life.”

“I can see the appeal,” Benji grins, his eyes on Ethan’s, and maybe Ethan is reading it all wrong, but is Benji flirting with him? He’s a little rusty, sure, but it does feel like it. 

“Right,” Ethan says and takes a sip of his drink to stay busy. 

“You ever do this?” Benji asks and nods his head towards the ongoing rodeo.

“I have,” Ethan says and immediately sees the surprise on Benji’s face. “Wasn’t exactly good at it,” he adds with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“I find that hard to believe,” the other man returns and now Ethan is almost sure that he’s flirting with him. “I do wanna see the cowboy hat, you know?”

Ethan shakes his head with a laugh, somewhat flustered even if he would never admit it, and is about to reply when the wind picks up all of a sudden. Some leaves are blowing around them and Benji catches one, staring at it with a concerned expression on his face. “Have you guys been tracking any storms out here?” He asks. 

Ethan shakes his head. “This isn’t good,” he mumbles as he looks around, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. There are so many people here.

“Definitely isn’t,” Benji agrees, worry clear in his voice. “The air feels heavy.”

Before Ethan can even say anything else, sirens start blaring. Almost instantly, chaos erupts all around them. 

“Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a tornado warning and we have to evacuate immediately. Please make your way to the nearest exit. I repeat, we need to evacuate now.”

Fuck, Ethan thinks, this cannot be happening right now. “Come on,” he says and Benji and him are moving towards the exit. People all around them have fallen into a blind panic, running and shoving each other. Without thinking, Ethan grabs Benji’s hand and pulls him out of the arena and across the parking lot. 

“We need to find shelter,” he yells as they’re running.

In front of the small motel a woman is trying to get her young daughter into a car. When Ethan spots them, he immediately stops to pull them away from the car. “You can’t drive right now, it’s not safe,” he says urgently. They all stumble into the motel. There’s a guy currently yelling at the receptionist, entirely oblivious to what’s happening outside, and a woman claiming that it’s just a false alarm. Ethan knows better. 

“We need to get everyone to a shelter,” he demands as he pushes the guy on the counter aside, hoping that the receptionist will help. The poor guy seems to be completely overwhelmed, though.

Benji tugs his hand free from Ethan and opens a door at the back of the room, despite the receptionist’s protests. “Ethan,” he calls, signaling him to come over. 

They run out, the rest of the people following them through the rain, and to an empty pool. This will have to do, Ethan thinks desperately. 

“Down here,” Ethan calls out and helps the mother and her child down the ladder. Benji climbs down as well and makes them get to the very back of the pool. He instructs them to hold on to some pipes and gets back to Ethan. 

“Anyone else?” Benji asks frantically, eyes scanning the area. The storm is close now, way too close. 

Ethan shakes his head. “Go,” he yells at Benji. “I’ll be right there.”

While Benji scrambles backwards to hold on to the pipes as well, Ethan spots the motel employee running towards them. Ethan helps him get down into the pool, urging him on, when suddenly a part of the motel sign crashes into the pool. It hits the guy and his leg is trapped underneath. Shit, shit, shit.

“Ethan!” 

Benji’s voice makes Ethan turn around for a split second and he sees an expression of pure panic on the other man’s face. 

“Get over here!” Benji continues. 

“Gotta help first,” Ethan grits out in response and gets flat on the ground, slowly moving to get to the trapped motel employee. 

It’s no use, unfortunately. Ethan does manage to free the man but in his panic, he tries to get up and the storm immediately picks him up and blows him away as if he was just a piece of paper. Ethan can’t do a single thing but watch. 

Desperately, he crawls back to where Benji is clinging on to the pipes. Ethan needs to at least protect him. He can’t fail yet another person. He squeezes in behind Benji, trying to get some cover, the wind violently pulling on his clothes, his hair sticking to his face, completely drenched from the rain. He’s holding on so tightly his knuckles turn white and he squeezes his eyes shut, willing the storm to pass already. 

—

Benji wouldn’t describe himself as a religious person at all but right now he’s actually praying that they will make it out of this alive. He’s rarely ever been as scared as now, clinging on to some old, rusty pipe that looks like it might give in at any moment, Ethan behind him holding on just as tightly. 

Then, all of a sudden, the wind is gone, as quickly as it came.

Benji’s whole body is shaking like a leaf and he gasps for air. It’s over. And they’re alive, he realizes, trying to slow his rapid breathing. Almost instinctively, he grasps Ethan’s hand and squeezes it, craning his neck to look at the other man. For a split second, Benji sees pure terror on Ethan’s face and it makes his heart drop. Ethan notices Benji looking at him right away, though, and schools his expression into a neutral one. He moves to get up and Benji has to let go of his hand.

“Is it over?” The woman next to them asks, holding her daughter close. Luckily, they both seem to be okay, given the circumstances. 

Ethan nods and starts walking. Benji follows him and it’s only once they climb out of the pool that Benji takes in the level of destruction the storm has left in its path. He stands there and stares, mouth open in shock. 

“Woah,” he mumbles as Ethan comes to stand next to him. He wants to say more but before he gets the chance, a truck pulls up and Ilsa jumps out, Luther following close behind. She runs up to hug Ethan tightly, saying something that Benji can’t hear. 

He decides to give them some space, taking a few steps back. 

Luther motions to the pool and asks, “you been hiding down there this whole time?”

“Yeah,” Ethan nods. 

“Good call,” Luther says and Ilsa nods in agreement. 

“It was Benji’s idea,” Ethan gives back and looks around, his eyes landing on Benji’s. 

Awkwardly, Benji gives him a little smile and steps closer again. Luther and Ilsa turn around to him. “Just luck,” he shrugs. 

“Either way,” Ilsa says, “you did great. Thank you, Benji.”

“She’s right,” Luther agrees and gives him a pat on the shoulder. 

“Hey, Benji!” A voice calls out all of a sudden from across the wrecked parking lot. All of them look up and Benji sees Will waving to him.

“Right,” he mumbles. “I–” He hesitates for a moment. He doesn’t want to just leave like that, he’d much rather stay and get an opportunity to talk to Ethan after everything that happened but–

“Benji!” Will calls again, more impatiently this time.

Benji sighs. There’s no way he can get rid of Will now, so he says, “I think I should go. I– uh, I’ll see you guys around.” Then, he sends Ethan another small smile and turns to jog across to meet his colleague.

When he gets into the van and Will pulls out of the parking lot, ranting about losing time or whatever, Benji sees Ethan looking in his direction and something about his expression doesn’t sit quite right with Benji. He looks, for lack of better word, almost haunted. The sort of far away look in his eyes that indicates that something is wrong but Benji can’t put his finger on it. Of course, the storm they just survived would’ve shaken anyone up, so maybe he’s overthinking this. Obviously, Ethan would struggle with it just like everyone else even if he, as far as Benji could tell after knowing him for a week, always seems so confident and fearless. Still, Benji just can’t stop thinking about it.

Chapter Text

“Ethan?” Ilsa nudges him and Ethan snaps back to reality, focusing on his friend instead of Benji driving away.

“Hm?” 

“I asked if you’re okay,” Ilsa says, giving him a look of concern. 

“Yes? Why?”

Ilsa narrows her eyes at him and says, “what do you mean why? How about all this.” She gestures around the parking lot and all the chaos. There’s trash everywhere, flipped cars, shattered glass, the whole nine yards. 

“Right,” Ethan clears his throat. “I’m good.”

Ilsa makes a face. She doesn’t believe him, Ethan knows that. 

“Look, it’s obviously been a rough day, alright?” Rough is an understatement. “But I’ll be fine,” he tries again, putting on his most convincing, confident voice.

His friend still doesn’t seem convinced but to Ethan’s relief she lets it go. “So, Benji,” she says after a beat. 

“What about him?”

“Ethan,” Ilsa chides, rolling her eyes exasperatedly, “come on.”

“Ilsa,” Ethan sighs. The look on her face is all too familiar to him and he knows she won’t stop bugging him about this. “I took him to see the rodeo,” he admits. When he sees Ilsa’s eyebrows shoot up, he quickly adds, “Just– I guess I misjudged him. So, it was like a peace offering.”

“A peace offering,” Ilsa repeats, a smile creeping onto her face. “If that’s what you wanna call it, okay.”

“What else would I call it?” Ethan asks, already knowing fully well what she’s implying. But it’s not like that. Then again, Ethan thinks, remembering sitting on the bleachers with Benji, an easy conversation between them, getting to know each other, flirting even, maybe. What if–

“A date?” Ilsa interrupts his thoughts and despite himself Ethan feels his face heat up. Ilsa takes one look at him and breaks out in a huge grin. “Oh my god, I knew it! You’re blushing,” she says with an honest to God giggle. 

“Knock it off,” Ethan grumbles, a memory of what happened right after hitting him. The fear, the panic, is still so fresh on his mind. Benji could’ve gotten hurt tonight because Ethan invited him here. He could’ve died.

Ilsa’s smile fades. “Ethan,” she tries, “I can hear you thinking.”

“I can’t do it,” he gives back quietly. 

His friend is regarding him with such concern, Ethan can almost hear her thinking now. She starts, “wh–”

“Let’s go,” Ethan cuts her off immediately, swallowing his emotions down and getting into the truck. He needs to focus. He can’t lose his head. There’s a huge storm front coming through in the next few days and he can’t afford the distraction. Especially not when said distraction is the first person in ages that Ethan actually likes and he has already put him in immense danger. He needs to put a stop to that immediately, he thinks bitterly. 

—

“So, you were with Hunt the entire time?” Will asks, an edge of annoyance in his voice. They’re back at the motel, still in the parking lot. 

“Yeah,” Benji says with a nod. God, he can’t wait to get to bed. Today was really something and he’s not exactly in the mood for whatever this is now.

“That’s it?” Will snaps. “You don’t have anything else to say?”

Benji takes a deep breath and tells himself to stay calm. There’s no use in getting into a fight. “What do you wanna hear?”

His colleague stares at him and he’s angry. Outright mad. They’ve been working together long enough that Benji can tell he’s about to blow up. 

“Maybe an apology?” Will demands. “I’ve been busting my ass for this fucking job and the second we come out here you just–”

Benji holds up his hands in surrender. “I know, Will. I have, too. You know that. But–”

“But what? Suddenly Hunt gets into your head and you–”

“What? No,” Benji interrupts him, “it’s not Ethan’s fault.”

“Of course not,” Will mutters under his breath and rolls his eyes, leaning back against the truck. “Tell me this then. What did Hunt tell you to have you acting like this?”

“Acting like what?” Benji gives back, voice getting louder. He’s had enough of this. “You left when we were helping in town after the storm hit.”

Will scoffs. “Because we had work to do. Actual work, you know?”

Benji crosses his arms over his chest and narrows his eyes at him. “These people needed help,” he counters. “That’s exactly why I’m doing this job, why I wanted to come here. And– look, there is something wrong with StormPar. With Hunley. He–”

“Let me stop you right there,” Will says angrily, “I don’t care what kind of ideas Hunt and the rest of those clowns put into your head but if you think you’re making the right choice, be my guest. But I don’t wanna hear about it.” 

“If you would just let me explain,” Benji tries but it’s no use. 

“Don’t. Care. I’m still doing my job. And if you wanna keep yours, I’d suggest you do the same.” With that, Will pushes himself off the car, grabs his backpack and storms off towards his room, leaving Benji standing in the parking lot. 

Benji swallows, staring after him and feeling a little lost. These past few days and everything that has happened, that he has learned, it makes it impossible to just continue with business as usual. So what is he supposed to do?

—

The next morning Benji goes to the diner for breakfast again, not even bothering to wait for Will. Benji doesn’t think he can bring himself to just continue with his work as if nothing happened. Whatever he decides in the long run, he’s determined not to drive out with his colleague today.

He’s just finishing up his pancakes when he spots Ilsa coming in. Her eyes scan the diner and land on Benji. He lifts his hand in a wave and Ilsa gives him a nod and a smile. She goes to order before coming over to his table. 

“You all alone here today?” She asks.

“Yeah,” Benji replies, “just some, uh– disagreements with Will, my colleague.”

Ilsa studies him for a moment, hands on her hips, before she asks, “does it have anything to do with what happened yesterday?”

“Yesterday?” Is she talking about him and Ethan? Benji wants to avoid making it awkward at any cost considering how close Ilsa and Ethan clearly are. Benji doesn’t dare to think that it was any more than a friendly gesture on Ethan’s part anyway.

Ilsa raises an eyebrow. “Yes? You know, the storm and all. Will seemed upset when he picked you up.”

“Oh. Right,” Benji nods, “he was pretty mad because he had to do all the work by himself. But I wanted to help properly back there.”

Ilsa makes a noise of approval. “You wanna come with us today by any chance?”

What?

Benji’s surprise must be visible on his face because Ilsa continues, “I’m sure you wanna see a little more and, besides, you know your stuff. Could be helpful.” She shrugs as if it’s not a big deal even though it very much is. To Benji, anyway. 

“Alright,” Benji says, smiling, “I’d like that.”

“Let’s go, then.”

“Oh. Ilsa, wait,” Benji stops her, suddenly remembering the rest of the team. Ethan, of course, and Luther and, who was this other woman? Benji had only seen her once, on his very first day. “Are your friends okay with this?”

Ilsa shrugs again. “They’ll be fine.”

—

When Ethan sees Ilsa stroll across the parking lot with no other than Benji Dunn in tow, his stomach drops. What is she planning now? Ethan can only imagine. After their conversation last night, Ilsa got an idea in her head. More specifically the idea that Ethan likes Benji. And now, in true Ilsa fashion, she can’t ignore it or let it go. It’s not going to work, though, Ethan decides. He has made his peace with being single a long time ago, he chose his job over all this. Not to mention the fact that he can’t stop thinking about how he put Benji in danger yesterday. In fact, he’d been up all night blaming himself. No, he needs to stay focused and professional. 

“Look who I found,” Ilsa beams when they get to the truck.

“Surprise,” Benji says, doing a somewhat awkward version of jazz hands that Ethan can’t help but find incredibly endearing.

“Hey,” Ethan says, ignoring the look that Ilsa is giving him. 

“Benji’s not going out with StormPar today,” she explains when Ethan doesn’t say more, “so, I said he can come with us.” She smiles conspiratorially and Ethan raises an eyebrow at her. 

Benji looks between the two of them and says quickly, “it’s– it’s totally fine if you’re not okay with it, Ethan.”

“What?” Ethan asks, eyes snapping to Benji who looks unsure.

“I don’t wanna intrude,” the other man says.

Ethan automatically shakes his head. He can’t reject him now that Ilsa has already invited him. Besides, even if he can’t admit it, can’t allow himself to, he secretly loves it. “You’re good, don’t worry.”

“See?” Ilsa sounds excited. “We’re one person short, anyway. Jane’s still sick.” She pouts a little at that.

“She’s right,” Ethan reiterates to a still apprehensive looking Benji, “come on, get in.”

Chapter Text

The next few days pass so quickly, Benji barely realizes that half of his stay is already over. Since his fight with Will he’s been sticking with Ethan, Luther and Ilsa and it’s been great. Benji loves seeing them work and he’s incredibly intrigued by this idea they explained to him the other day. Making a tornado vanish. Wouldn’t that be something? Ethan told him that they’ve tried it before but it didn’t work so for now they’re back to collecting more data to tweak their experiment. 

“I wish I could do more,” Benji says at the end of the day, “I mean, we got some data with our new StormPar device but Will has it. And after everything I doubt he’s gonna give it up.” He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Ethan waves him off easily and gives him the smile that Benji has come to love over the past few days. “Not your fault,” Ethan replies, “we’re gonna get it done somehow.”

“Yeah,” Benji nods and returns Ethan’s smile. They’re alone in Ethan’s truck, in the motel parking lot, and Ethan’s eyes are locked on Benji’s so intensely that Benji has to look away, hoping that the other man won’t see him blush. It’s silly, really. He can’t be in love with Ethan. It would never work. The thought makes Benji’s heart squeeze painfully nonetheless. 

“Hey, so Benj–”

“I just wanted–” Benji starts at the same time as Ethan opens his mouth. “Oh, shit. Sorry. You go first,” he says with a little laugh. 

Ethan chuckles and shakes his head. “No, no. You go.”

“Oh. Okay, sure,” Benji says. “I really just wanted to thank you for letting me tag along this week. It’s been really fun.” He dares to look up at Ethan again and immediately curses the butterflies going crazy in his stomach when he finds the other man smiling brightly, eyes crinkling and all. 

“It really has been,” Ethan agrees warmly. “So–”

“Sorry I’m interrupting you again but– well, I also wanted to apologize for stealing so much of you guys’ time. I mean, I’m sure you and Ilsa would’ve liked to have some more alone time.”

“What?” Ethan looks genuinely confused. 

“Well, you know,” Benji returns awkwardly. “You and Ilsa, right?”

“Oh my god,” Ethan exclaims and starts laughing. Full on laughing. 

Benji furrows his brows. “Now I’m confused,” he admits. 

“Not laughing at you, I promise,” Ethan gives back between laughs. “It’s just, it’s not like that. Ilsa’s my best friend. But she’s also married.”

Oh. 

Ethan must see Benji’s surprise and continues, “you haven’t met Jane, right? She’s been out sick with this awful stomach bug.”

Benji shakes his head, still a little speechless.

“She’s Ilsa’s wife,” the other man explains. “They’ve been together, uh– let’s see, ages, really.” 

“Oh. She’s–” is the only thing Benji manages. He feels like a total idiot not only for not getting it but mostly because he’s gone and put Ethan in this awkward position. “That’s cool,” he quickly adds with a smile when he sees Ethan’s suddenly serious, concerned expression. 

Luckily, Ethan’s face relaxes at that. “So, you got nothing to apologize for, then,” he states, matter of fact. 

“Just for being a dense idiot,” Benji murmurs and shakes his head at himself. 

“Relax, alright?” With that, Ethan’s hand lands on Benji’s thigh with a soft, comforting squeeze. Benji’s breath catches and he forces himself to be casual when he finally looks up again. Ethan’s presence and just how close they are right now doesn’t exactly make it easy, though. 

Benji swallows and says, “got it.”

Ethan’s gaze drops a little lower, to Benji’s lips, for a split second and Benji feels the other man lean towards him ever so slightly. Benji’s heart is beating violently in his chest, so loud that he’s scared Ethan might hear it. He still feels Ethan’s hand on his thigh, suddenly hyper aware of it. Benji decides to just shut off his brain and also leans forward, almost on autopilot. That’s when Ethan all of a sudden snaps back, sits up straight and takes his hand off of Benji. Just like that, the moment is gone. Was there even a moment to begin with? Maybe Benji was hallucinating there for a second. 

“Uh–”

“I need to get going,” Ethan finally breaks the silence, refusing to look at Benji. 

Right. Benji awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and nods. “It’s late,” he says lamely. Then he goes to open the door and is already halfway out of the truck when he suddenly feels a hand on his wrist, holding him back hesitantly. Benji turns around to find Ethan looking at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I– I’m sorry, Benji. I–”

In the short time he’s known him, Benji has never heard Ethan stumble over his words like this. “Hey,” Benji cuts him off to put him out of his misery, “it’s all good, mate.” Whatever had gotten into Ethan or why he was even apologizing, Benji doesn’t really want to overthink it. It might just break his heart otherwise, given his already growing feelings for the other man. He gives Ethan a smile and pulls his hand away. “See you tomorrow?”

Ethan’s expression changes into something different but Benji is sure he just imagines the flash of disappointment that’s gone in an instant. “Sure,” Ethan says with a nod and a smile that looks painfully forced. He starts the car again and gives Benji a wave as he drives away. 

Once he’s alone, Benji lets out the breath he’s been holding. What just happened?

—

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Ethan curses himself all the way home and then some. He had promised himself he wouldn’t let his feelings get the better of him but that’s a lot easier said than done. It’s just that he feels so naturally drawn to Benji, somehow, and he hasn’t felt like this about anybody in a long time. Which makes it so much more dangerous. None of the possible outcomes that Ethan can come up with in his mind are positive. There’s always something. Besides, who says Benji actually likes him? The situation in the truck only confused Ethan even more. Benji had felt it too, hadn’t he? The magnetic pull between them? But then–

It’s all good, mate, Benji had said. 

Ethan groans in frustration, dragging a hand through his hair. He needs to get this all out of his head, he decides. This past week with Benji has made him lose all his focus. But even if he wanted to hate it, he couldn’t because it’s also been the best time he’s had in forever. 

So what is he going to do?

—

The next day, after a sleepless night for Ethan no less, they have big plans. They’re tracking a storm that’s about the right size to try their new mixture. It should be routine but Ethan finds himself really nervous. To make matters worse (or better?) Jane is back so they decide to split up. Jane and Ilsa in one truck, Ethan and Benji in the other. Luther is, as always, keeping an eye on the screens and guiding them. 

“How far?” Ethan asks as he’s driving down the road, constantly checking on the storm he can see in the distance. 

“You’re almost close enough,” Luther’s voice comes over the comms, “it’s moving towards you.”

Ethan clenches his jaw and tries to push down his anxiety. He takes a quick look at Benji in the passenger seat who looks quite nervous as well. “We gotta find a good spot to place the mixture,” Ethan says to him, hoping his voice doesn’t give his feelings away.

“Yeah,” Benji replies, “how about up there?” He points to a spot where they can pull over onto the field. 

Ethan nods. “Should be good,” he agrees. Once he gets to the spot he  pulls over and stops the truck.

“This is it,” Benji says nervously before taking a big breath. 

“You ready?” Ethan asks and gives him a look. 

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

They both get out of the car and the wind hits Ethan in the face immediately, pulling on his clothes and messing up his hair. It’s pretty intense already and he knows they have to hurry. There’s not much time for them to drop the barrels with the mixture and get to a safe distance. 

When they’re at the back of the truck, Benji is looking at him from across the barrels and suddenly it hits him. Suddenly all he can see is Jack, after all those years still as fresh in his mind as ever. Ethan’s heart rate picks up and he feels a strange tightness in his chest, announcing his oncoming panic attack. To make matters worse, he spots the storm behind Benji, still some distance away. I need to get him out of here, now, Ethan thinks and it’s the only thought in his mind. I can’t let him get hurt or worse. 

Benji is just about to start unloading the barrels when Ethan yells, “get in the truck!”

“What?”

“Get in the truck right now!” Ethan is screaming now even though he can barely breathe. 

Benji stares at him, mouth agape, for a second before he nods and hurriedly gets back in the car. Ethan wastes no time to get behind the wheel again and they’re off. 

“What’s going on? Are we not in the right position after all?” Benji asks as Ethan is speeding down the bumpy road. 

Ethan isn’t able to answer, his throat is closed up, his heart rate is through the roof and tears are stinging in his eyes. He only knows he needs to get away.

“Ethan?” Benji starts sounding scared. “Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Ethan grits out, trying his best to avoid having a full blown panic attack. He’s not doing a great job, though. His hands are shaking so much he has to grip the steering wheel so hard that his hands hurt. 

“Nothing? Come on!”

“It’s just not right, okay?” He snaps before he realizes how angry he sounds. He immediately regrets it but when he takes a quick glance at Benji he can tell it’s already too late. The other man looks confused and hurt. Ethan has no right to be lashing out at him like this, he didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on Ethan himself. 

“But I thought–” Benji tries. 

“No, Benji,” Ethan cuts him off. “I’m taking you back to the motel.” His decision is final and Benji must hear it in his voice because he snaps his mouth shut and doesn’t say a single word anymore until they get to the motel. 

Ethan’s heart squeezes painfully in his chest when Benji looks at him pleadingly when he pulls into the parking lot, silently begging him to explain. But he just can’t.

“Did I do something wrong?” Benji finally asks. 

Ethan quickly shakes his head. “It’s not your fault,” he says roughly. 

“Then what–”

“I can’t do this right now, alright?”

Benji deflates and Ethan can see the disappointment clear on his face. It’s another stab to his heart. The other man still sits there for a few seconds but when Ethan not so much as looks at him, he opens the door and gets out of the truck without another word. 

Chapter Text

Benji’s mind is racing when he gets back to his motel room. He steps in, closes the door and leans against it with a big, frustrated sigh. What the hell just happened? Everything was going according to plan, they were prepared, the storm was in the right position. And yet–

Well what, exactly? Benji can’t figure it out even though he’s not able to stop running through it in his mind, over and over. Granted, he tells himself, he’s only known Ethan for a little more than ten days so what could he possibly know? It’s not exactly like Ethan ever talks much about himself or anything personal. It’s always about work or at least very safe topics. Why is that? Obviously, Benji isn’t asking for Ethan to reveal his every secret to him but, well, he’s been hoping to know a little more about the other man than that he chases tornadoes for a living. Then again, it’s not like Benji actually asked about these things, either. He didn’t dare to because Ethan still seems too distant for that and Benji doesn’t want to overstep. 

He lets his head fall against the door with a heavy thud in frustration and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. What is he supposed to do? The situation with Ethan is still playing on a loop in his mind. Something happened, something serious. 

Suddenly, Benji’s phone vibrates in his pocket and drags him out of his thoughts. He fishes it out of his jeans and squints at the screen. Ilsa. He furrows his brows in confusion and takes the call after a moment of hesitation. 

“Hello?”

“Benji, hey. It’s me, Ilsa.” 

“Hey, Ilsa,” Benji replies and moves across the room to sit on his bed. “What’s up?”

There’s a beat before Ilsa says, “I was hoping you could tell me.” She sounds concerned. 

“Do you mean about earlier?” Benji asks, just to confirm. 

“Uh-huh.” Ilsa sighs. “Ethan called off the whole thing without any explanation. So, what happened?”

“I wish I knew,” Benji gives back, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. “He, I don’t know, he just– just insisted that it was nothing and that it simply wasn’t right. But, I mean, I was there, Ilsa. Everything was going according to plan so–”

Ilsa is quiet for a moment before she asks, “can you come by our place? So we can talk more?”

“Oh. Yeah, okay.  Just give me your address.”

—

Half an hour later, Benji sits in Ilsa and Jane’s kitchen, a cup of tea in front of him that he hasn’t touched yet. The three of them have been talking for a while without really getting anywhere, until–

“Of course, I’m not a hundred percent sure why he reacted the way he did but he’s definitely lying. It was obviously not nothing,” Ilsa says thoughtfully and Jane nods. 

“Yeah– well, I suppose,” Benji agrees. “To be honest, I thought he was about to have a panic attack.” 

The two women share a worried look, and the pit in Benji’s stomach is growing steadily. “So, you haven’t talked to him?” He asks them. 

“No, we haven’t heard from him since he called off the plan,” Jane replies. 

Ilsa looks like she’s contemplating something. Finally she asks, “he ever tell you about Jack?”

For some reason, that makes Jane’s eyebrows shoot up and she bumps Ilsa with her arm. 

“What?” Ilsa seems unphased by her wife’s apparent shock. “He’s gonna find out eventually.”

Benji’s eyebrows draw together and he wonders what that’s supposed to mean. Before he can ask, Jane says, “I know. But it’s not exactly our place, is it?”

“Wait a minute,” Benji says now, “find out what?”

“Look–” Ilsa starts.

Jane puts a hand on Ilsa’s forearm. “You better ask him yourself,” she interrupts her.

Ilsa sighs but she nods. “You’re right,” she tells Jane and covers her wife’s hand with her own. “You should talk to him, Benji.”

Benji lets out a breath. “Alright,” he gives back. “Where do you think he is? I haven't been to his place. Uh– obviously.”

Ilsa gives Benji a knowing look before turning to Jane and whispering, “told you,” so quietly that Benji almost misses it. 

“Wha–” He starts asking. 

“Don’t worry about it, Benji,” Ilsa stops him. “Like I said, just talk to him. He might be home but– oh, wait. His parents got a farm a few miles from here. It’s where he grew up. If he’s not at his place, that’s my best guess.”

—

Once Benji leaves Ilsa and Jane’s house, he puts the address they gave him into his phone and gets going. It’s already slowly getting dark but it doesn’t matter. Benji doesn’t care. He needs to talk to Ethan as soon as possible. He can’t think of anything else. The way Ethan was earlier, it almost haunts him, as dramatic as it sounds. He tries Ethan’s place first without success, so he moves on to the second address. For the whole drive over to Ethan’s parents’ farm, which takes roughly an hour, Benji can’t shake his anxiety. He’s trapped in a constant cycle of thinking he’s doing the right thing one second and wanting to turn around the next. Maybe he’s overstepping, he thinks. He definitely is, right? The thought even makes him pull over for a minute, ready to turn the car around. His mind is spinning. He doesn’t even really know Ethan. Ethan doesn’t know him. He will think Benji has lost his mind or, worse, he’ll be angry because Benji can’t give him space. But then he remembers the way Ethan had acted earlier, how he had looked. And he remembers what Ilsa and Jane told him. Talk to him, they said. Begged him, almost. Which is making him a whole different level of nervous because they know Ethan. Really know him. So their advice can only be good, right? With a groan, Benji lets his forehead rest against the steering wheel for a moment as he slumps in his seat. This is a mess, he thinks. Then, before he can talk himself out of it again, he gets back on the road and doesn’t turn around. 

—

After dropping Benji off at the motel, Ethan just keeps driving. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, has no clear destination in mind, but soon enough he recognizes the familiar way to his childhood home. Somehow it feels right and the thought of being there makes his rapidly beating heart slow a little. Even though he can’t talk to his parents anymore, it still feels like the only place where he can relax and just be for a little while. They were so supportive way back when he started chasing storms, a hobby at first. Whenever he would go out with his friends there would be the promise of barbecue after, for all of them. Those are some of his happiest memories and sometimes all he wants is to go back to the old times. 

When he gets to the farm, he parks his truck and gets his key to unlock the front door. The house is so quiet but it’s exactly what Ethan needs right now. He’s not even sure what happened back there with Benji but everything got too much. 

He’s immediately drawn to the old barn. He used to spend so much time there, studying storms, coming up with projects, just having fun with his friends. Now he’s coming here when he needs to get away from everything else. But, even though he really tries not to, what happened earlier comes to his mind again. The worst of it isn’t even that they didn’t succeed. Which it would have been just over ten days ago, back when he didn’t know Benji and he was still fully focused. Instead, it’s the confusion and worry on Benji’s face, the disappointment when Ethan dropped him off without any explanation. But what was he supposed to say? Sorry, Benji, I was having a panic attack because this situation reminded me too much of when my friend, who I was also in love with, died in a storm? And now that I’m starting to feel this way about you, too, I cannot let anything happen to you ever? No, there’s no way Ethan could’ve possibly explained it. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t know how to start. And besides, Benji deserves better than this. Not that he is even staying here to begin with. He’s going back to New York soon and that’s going to be it. There’s really no reason for him to be contemplating all this, Ethan tells himself. It’s only a matter of time until Benji will be out of his life and he’ll never see him again. Somehow, the thought makes Ethan’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest. With a heavy sigh he sits down at his old desk and flips through his notes from years – hell, decades, really – ago to distract himself. Not that it actually helps. His mind keeps going back to Benji. 

Suddenly, Ethan hears the crunch of gravel outside the barn. A car, he thinks, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. No one but him ever comes out here anymore. He gets up and quickly makes his way over to the door. What he sees when he opens it makes him stop in his tracks immediately. 

Benji?

Chapter Text

“Benji?” 

Benji turns around from where he’s standing at the front door of the farmhouse and spots Ethan at the entrance of another building, a barn. He looks completely caught off guard. 

“What are you doing here?” Ethan continues asking and brushes his hands along the side of his jeans. He looks around and his eyes scan the driveway as if he’s expecting someone else to be there. “How did you–” 

“Ilsa and Jane figured you might be here,” Benji cuts in and takes a couple of steps towards the other man who still looks at him in disbelief. 

“Huh.” 

“They’re pretty worried,” Benji says, thinking back to his conversation with the two women. He takes a moment to consider his next words but then he adds, “so am I.”

Ethan’s brows furrow and his expression grows defensive. “What do you mean?” He asks. 

Benji almost rolls his eyes but he suppresses the urge. How can Ethan not know? Maybe he’s just pretending. Either way, Benji knows he needs to get to the bottom of this. “Earlier. The plan and the way you suddenly took off without any explanation? I just–” Benji stops and sighs. He didn’t mean to sound like he was accusing Ethan of anything. He just wants to understand. “Are you okay? What are you doing here?” He tries again, voice softer now.

“Oh, I was just–” Ethan vaguely gestures to the barn. 

Benji briefly looks past him at the barn, then focuses back on Ethan, questions in his eyes. “You were just, what?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

Ethan shrugs, his eyes fixed on the ground in front of him as he’s tapping his foot ever so slightly. “Just thinking, I guess,” he says quietly. 

“Mh,” Benji nods. “You just needed some space? I get that.”

“You do?” Ethan asks, finally looking up at him. 

Benji gives him a look. “Are you kidding? Of course,” he says. “Kinda the whole reason why I left London.”

Ethan raises an eyebrow. “Seems like there’s a story there,” he simply states and his eyes find Benji’s.

Definitely a story, Benji thinks and despite it all he lets out a chuckle. “A long story,” he agrees before pausing with a sigh. “I, uh–”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Ethan says quickly and gives him a little smile. 

Benji breathes out slowly and nods. He’s not sure he wants to get into that right now. Besides, he came here for Ethan, to support him. “So, what’s in there?” Benji gestures towards the barn behind them. 

“Lots of old stuff, mostly,” the other man replies with a chuckle. “Come on.” 

Benji follows him into the building. There’s some old farming equipment standing around but Ethan only stops when they reach a large desk that’s covered in papers and folders. 

“I used to spend hours in here. Always working on some project,” Ethan explains. “My parents  could never get me to stop. Especially not when Luther and Ilsa and– well, my friends came over.” It’s not lost on Benji how Ethan’s voice wavers all of a sudden and how he busies himself flipping through some papers instead of looking at Benji. 

“Are your parents still around?” Benji asks after a moment of silence. He curses himself internally for the question before it’s even fully out but Ethan just shakes his head ever so slightly. 

“Not for a long time,” he says. “My dad was in an accident when I was 21 and my mom died not long after.”

“I’m sorry,” Benji gives back softly. 

In turn, Ethan gives him a small smile that almost breaks Benji’s heart. He genuinely looks so sad even if he’s clearly trying to hide it. Benji gets the feeling that it’s not all just from the question about his parents. There’s more here. So much more. 

“It’s alright,” Ethan pulls him out of his thoughts, “like I said, it’s been a long time.”

Benji nods and looks at the papers in front of them. Lots of calculations, weather data, research about storms that Benji recognized from his own studies. “Didn’t think you were such a nerd,” he jokes, wanting to lighten the mood. It makes Ethan laugh and Benji feels immense relief. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Ethan says lightly with a grin and, like a few times before, Benji wonders if Ethan is actually flirting with him or if it’s all just in his head. 

Matching Ethan’s grin, Benji asks, “is that so?” He turns away from the desk and instead angles his body towards the other man. “What don’t I know about you?”

There’s a moment of silence and Benji’s heart almost beats out of his chest when Ethan takes a step closer to him. “I–” He stops again and his eyes flick to Benji’s lips, then up again. 

Benji, mirroring Ethan, also takes another step closer and suddenly they’re right in front of each other. Almost touching. Benji barely remembers to breathe. Ethan is beautiful in the dim light of the barn and all Benji knows is that he wants to kiss him more than anything. “Ethan,” he says, just above a whisper, “can I ask you some–”

“I made dinner,” Ethan suddenly and abruptly cuts him off. He takes a step back and the moment is gone. “Do you– uh, would you like to stay? It’s getting late and it’s quite a drive, so,” he drifts off with a shrug. 

What just happened? They keep getting into situations that feel…odd. Benji automatically steps back as well, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Oh,” he stalls, a little lost for words. “Sure, why not?” He eventually answers even though he can think of plenty of reasons as to why it might not be a good idea. 

—

All the way through dinner, Ethan keeps his distance and sticks to safe topics, Benji notes. They’re having a good time, all things considered, although Benji is dying to ask him what’s going on. But he gets the feeling he won’t get an answer even if he does and he doesn’t want to upset Ethan. 

Later, after he insists on helping Ethan clean up the kitchen, the other man shows him the rest of the house. It’s very nice. Cozy. Benji suspects Ethan hasn’t really changed much since his parents have been gone. 

“This is the guest room,” Ethan finishes the tour, back downstairs now. He takes a moment to squint at his watch.  “You can stay here tonight, if you want.”

“Right,” Benji says, “thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Ethan replies. He looks around the guest room. “Sorry, it’s not super organized. Not like anyone’s ever staying here, really.”

“It’s no problem.”

“I’ll get you some fresh sheets.” With that, Ethan disappears before coming back with a pile of sheets and towels. “There’s a bathroom down the hall,” he says, pointing towards it. 

—

After getting the guest room ready for Benji, Ethan doesn’t stick around much longer. He wishes Benji a good night and quickly makes his way up the stairs to his room. His mind is spinning from the events of the day. It feels like it’s been ages since he’s last slept and he feels exhausted. First, he’s having a great time with Benji, both of them excited to work on their plan. Then, they encounter the storm and Ethan can’t help but feel panic over the possibility of anyone getting harmed. Benji getting harmed, more specifically. He freaks out and leaves Benji behind. He comes here. Home. But he’s still spiraling. And then, out of nowhere, Benji shows up. It’s what confuses Ethan the most. After what happened before, Benji shouldn’t even want to be here. He would have every right to be mad at Ethan. He should be mad at Ethan. And yet… Benji told him he’s worried. He wanted to talk to him about what happened. He wanted to listen to Ethan. Which Ethan is not really used to. Sure, he has his friends and they’re always there for him but he doesn’t want to bother them with his problems. With Benji it’s different, though. Suddenly Ethan finds himself close to telling him everything. And then there are the moments where he is even about to forget everything he’s been telling himself and just kiss him. That feeling is dangerous, Ethan knows. It’s going to get him hurt. Even worse, it’s going to get Benji hurt. So he pushes it down and forces himself to snap out of it whenever a moment like that occurs. Like earlier, in the barn. Ethan’s heart speeds up again at the thought of it now, how close the two of them were, close enough to touch. He shakes his head in frustration and flops face first onto the bed. He needs to stop.

—

It’s not long after Benji has settled down to sleep that he’s woken up by the creaking of the stairs. The guest room is right below the old staircase leading up to the second floor and Ethan’s bedroom. Benji isn’t usually a light sleeper but tonight he’s been having issues falling asleep, a constant flow of thoughts keeping him up. At first he doesn’t think much of the noise but then, just twenty minutes later, the stairs creak again. Benji slowly sits up in his bed and glances at the door. He wonders if he should go and check on Ethan. Maybe something is wrong? 

Before he gets the chance to overthink it, Benji pushes the blanket away and gets out of the bed. When he leaves the room he sees that the light is on in the kitchen. 

“Ethan?” Benji asks quietly when he’s in the doorway, trying not to scare the other man. 

Ethan spins around lighting-fast and grips the glass of water he’s holding a little tighter. So much for not startling him, Benji thinks with a flinch. 

“I’m sorry for sneaking up on you,” he says. 

Ethan has already recovered and waves Benji off. “You’re good,” he says. “Can’t sleep?”

Benji shakes his head, leaning against the doorframe. “How about you?”

“Not really,” the other man says and even though Benji can tell he’s trying to be casual, his voice breaks a little. He puts the water down on the counter and leans against it with a sigh. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Benji asks carefully and tries to catch Ethan’s eye but the man is just staring straight ahead. 

“Not much to talk about,” Ethan eventually mumbles. “Just a– uh, a nightmare. It’s nothing.”

It doesn’t exactly sound like nothing to Benji and by the looks of it Ethan is pretty unsettled by whatever that dream was. “Do you get them often?” Benji probes. 

“Used to,” Ethan gives back. “Hasn’t been that bad in a while, though.” He winces. “But like I said, it’s really nothing to worry about.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really,” Ethan reiterates and finally meets Benji’s eyes. 

“Alright,” Benji says, still not believing him. 

“You can go back to bed, Benji.”

Benji raises an eyebrow at him. “Can’t sleep, remember?”

Ethan nods and his expression grows uncertain. 

“The offer still stands, by the way,” Benji says. “To talk, I mean,” he clarifies. 

“Benji, I–”

Benji cuts him off, “it doesn’t have to be about your nightmare or, well, anything you don’t want to talk about. We can talk about whatever you want.”

Ethan seems to mull it over for a moment and Benji is preparing himself for a rejection but finally, the other man nods. “Not to be weird but do you wanna go up to my room? It’s much more comfortable,” he says.

“Sure. Yeah,” Benji agrees and tries to hide his smile. Ethan is kind of adorable when he’s scrambling for words. 

—

They end up laying next to each other on Ethan’s bed. It makes Benji’s stomach flutter but he reminds himself that it doesn’t mean anything. They’re not even touching but it’s nice, regardless. Talking to Ethan is easy, mostly. Especially when he gets into the flow of the conversation. He’s avoidant, sure, but Benji can be patient. 

“So, this is your childhood room, huh?”

“That’s right,” Ethan gives back. He’s on his back, looking up at the ceiling. “I know it’s silly  but being here, it's just– I don’t know. Makes me feel at peace, somehow.” His voice gets very quiet at that. 

Benji turns onto his side to look at Ethan. “I don’t think it’s silly,” he says equally as quietly. It earns him the tiniest smile from Ethan.

They end up talking about Ethan’s parents for quite a bit and they sound like lovely people. Very supportive. Eventually, the conversation gets to Julia, Ethan’s ex wife. Benji didn’t know that Ethan had been married once and he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t feel a little sting in his heart. Even if Ethan isn’t with Ilsa, like Benji had assumed before, he is still straight. Benji has probably been reading all the signs wrong. Just as he has the thought, he feels so bad he could kick himself. He should be glad that Ethan is talking to him about his personal life, glad that Ethan trusts him as a friend. But here he is, being selfish and so, so in love with the other man. 

“I’m really sorry that it didn’t work out, Ethan,” he tells him when Ethan explains his and Julia’s divorce. How he couldn’t let her live in constant fear about him because of his job. How he was afraid to put her in danger, too, and the arguments that they started having constantly because of it. 

“Thanks, Benji,” Ethan says genuinely and gives Benji yet another smile that he doesn’t think he deserves. “We’re still good friends, you know. Maybe we’ve always been better as friends. So, I think it was for the best. I think I’m okay if I’m just not meant to have that kind of relationship.”

Benji lets out a breath and considers the statement for a moment. It’s so honest and intimate but  he doesn't understand how Ethan just accepts that as some sort of immovable fact. How he thinks he doesn’t deserve more than this. “Do you ever, uh– you know, date?”

Ethan chuckles and shakes his head. “Can’t say that I do,” he admits, “not seriously, anyway.”

Benji gives him a look and Ethan chuckles again. “Don’t say anything,” he says, “I already get enough of that from the others.”

For a moment, Benji isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say and then, before he can talk himself out of it he says, “I get it, I think.”

Now Ethan turns onto his side to face Benji, too, a questioning look on his face. 

“Remember when I said needing space was the whole reason I left London?”

The other man nods and Benji takes it as his sign to keep talking. If Ethan can be so open with him, why shouldn’t he? He tells Ethan about his ex in London, the first guy he’s ever really been in love with. Of course he had relationships before that but it felt different and so much more serious. It was great at first. They lived together, they even talked about getting married sometime in the future. But at some point, things became strained between them. Benji had to put in more hours at work and he had never made it a secret that his career was very important to him. He hadn’t expected Michael to take it so badly. He became controlling and obsessive, accused Benji of cheating on him, went through his phone and didn’t trust him anymore at all. Benji felt like he was suffocating, like he didn’t have a say about his own life, and when he tried to talk to Michael about it, his partner would get extremely angry. When things escalated and got physical one day, Benji finally took off. Despite the breakup, his ex wouldn’t leave him alone. He showed up at Benji’s work and went to Benji’s new apartment, however he had even figured out where it was. It became such a problem that Benji decided it was time to get away and start a new life somewhere. It was perfect timing when he could get a position in New York through his job and he wasted no time getting there. 

“I’ve gone on a couple of dates and all that, of course, but I haven’t been in a serious relationship since then,” Benji finishes his story. “Never really felt ready for it. So, you know, I’ve been just focusing on work. Which, now, seems laughable because as it turns out it’s all been a major scam, hasn’t it?” He scoffs and drags a hand down his face. 

“Benj–”

“No, I’m– look, I’m sorry about this, alright?” Benji cuts Ethan off when he sees how the other man is looking at him. Big, concerned, beautiful eyes staring right at him. “I came here to make you feel better and instead I unloaded all of my bullshit on you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Ethan returns, “I enjoy talking to you. And listening to you.”

“Mh.” Benji smiles sadly. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry for what happened to you. You deserve much better than that,” Ethan continues and touches Benji’s hand with his ever so slightly. 

Now this has Benji blinking back tears. He turns away so Ethan can’t see. 

“I’m glad you came here,” the other man says after a moment of silence and he scoots a little closer, his hand still resting against Benji’s. 

Benji’s breath hitches. “Me, too,” he whispers. 

They’re quiet for a moment until Ethan yawns and suggests they try to sleep for a couple of hours. One look at his phone tells Benji that it’s well past 2 am and they’ve been talking for hours. Of course, Benji agrees and moves to get up from the bed to go back to the guest room when suddenly, Ethan’s hand closes around his wrist. Gently, hesitantly almost, as if he’s not sure his touch will be welcome. 

“You can stay here,” Ethan says, “if you want.”

“Oh.” Benji stares at Ethan before his eyes fall onto their joined hands. 

“You don’t have to.” With that, Ethan lets go of Benji and draws his hand back. He looks more guarded again and Benji realizes how his reaction, or lack thereof, must have come across. 

“No, no, I do want to,” Benji quickly clarifies.

Ethan looks relieved and nods with a smile, “okay.” 

Chapter Text

When sunlight filters through the half-drawn blinds a few hours later and wakes Ethan up, he realizes that it just got significantly harder to tell himself that it’s completely fine to share a bed with a friend. He did convince himself of that last night when he asked Benji to stay and at the time it seemed like a good idea. It was nice to have someone to talk to and Ethan didn’t want it to end. Now, though? Seeing how they are quite literally cuddling right now, Ethan has to admit that he feels much more than he should for someone that’s supposed to be just a friend. And that’s something he’s been trying to avoid for a long time. Now he doesn’t know how to feel about it anymore. He knows he’s scared shitless, sure, but then again, it feels too good to be around Benji to fully give in to that fear. So, instead of pulling away and disentangling himself from the other man, Ethan puts his head back down against Benji’s shoulder. Maybe, he thinks for a split second, this could be something. Maybe– 

Suddenly, Benji stirs next to him and drags Ethan out of his thoughts. Slowly, the other man’s eyes open and he lifts his head slightly, blinking in confusion. Then, all of a sudden, he seems to remember where he is and immediately pulls back his arm that was previously slung over Ethan’s body. 

Sitting up rather abruptly, Benji says, “fuck, I’m sorry.” His voice is still all gravely from sleep and for a moment Ethan finds himself wishing he could always wake up next to him. But then Benji’s words register in his brain. Shit, he thinks and sits up as well. 

“No, Benji, it’s–”

“I, uh– sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Benji rambles on. “I must’ve, I just–”

“Hey, Benji, hey,” Ethan interrupts him and places his hand carefully on Benji’s arm, squeezing lightly,  “I wasn’t uncomfortable. At all.” 

That makes Benji finally look at him and his pinched expression finally eases a bit before turning into a questioning one. Ethan finds it quite endearing and before he can talk himself out of it he’s darting forward almost on autopilot and presses his lips to Benji’s. 

—

Benji’s brain short circuits and he’s pretty sure he’s stopped breathing when he suddenly feels Ethan’s lips on his, warm and soft. He’s so shocked, in fact, that he forgets to respond in any way. 

Ethan seems to take it as a rejection because he pulls back way too quickly, his face closed off to a point that Benji hasn’t seen in a few days. Fuck. 

“I’m sorry,” Ethan says, voice strangely controlled, “just forget I did that.” 

Before Benji can react, Ethan has jumped up from the bed and is halfway across the room, the guarded expression still on his face. Even so, Benji can feel the disappointment rolling off of him. He knows he needs to move now before his only chance will be gone. He scrambles up, almost tripping over his own feet and crosses the distance between himself and the other man. “Ethan, wait!”

When Ethan doesn’t stop, Benji reaches out and grabs hold of his arm. “Wait, please,” Benji tries again, pleading. 

Finally, the other man turns around, brows furrowed, and his eyes move down to where Benji is holding him. “I–”

“Did you mean it?” As soon as the question is out, Benji holds his breath, scared of the answer. What if it was just a spur of the moment thing and nothing serious? He doesn’t think he could handle that option, no, he’s in way too deep already to just shrug it off and act like it never happened.  

Ethan releases a shaky breath and finally meets Benji’s eyes. “Yeah,” he whispers, “I did.”

Oh. 

“Then I don’t wanna forget it.”

“What?”

The way Ethan still looks so incredibly uncertain is too much for Benji to take so, overcome by his feelings, he grabs Ethan’s face with both of his hands and plants a firm kiss on his lips. It earns him a surprised noise from Ethan but to his relief, Benji finds him relaxing into it and he kisses him back. Softly at first but soon Ethan deepens the kiss and pulls Benji closer by his waist. Benji’s stomach swoops when their kiss gets more desperate. 

Eventually, Benji runs out of air and they break apart. Instead of moving away, though, he rests his forehead against Ethan’s while they’re both catching their breaths. 

“I should’ve asked. Before,” Ethan mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

Benji opens his eyes and gives the other man a look. “Shut up, no apologies,” he says breathlessly, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He gently caresses Ethan’s face, still holding him and tracing his thumbs over his cheekbones.  

“Really?” The other man whispers. 

“I thought it was obvious.”

“How long?” Ethan asks, not hiding the smirk that’s forming on his face, replacing the serious expression from before. 

“Huh? Oh– well,” Benji stalls and hopes Ethan can’t see how he’s blushing, “not long after we met.”

Ethan’s smirk turns into a full grin and Benji playfully rolls his eyes. “Don’t be smug, now,” he says, “you must know what kind of effect you have on people.”

“I gave you such a hard time, though,” the other man gives back. 

Benji shrugs. “You had your reasons. After seeing what happened and finding out about StormPar I can’t blame you.”

Ethan gives a slight nod and for a moment he seems lost in thought. “For the record,” he says eventually, “I’ve also wanted to do this for a long time.”

“You have?” Benji can’t hold back the question. So he hadn’t actually been reading the signals wrong. He feels like such an oblivious idiot. 

Ethan laughs. “Ilsa thought we were on a date the night of the rodeo. I tried to deny it but–”

“I suppose we were, huh,” Benji finishes for him and laughs as well. 

Instead of responding, Ethan leans forward again and captures Benji’s lips in another gentle kiss. It feels less desperate this time and so much more deliberate and confident. Benji melts into the kiss with a sigh. Slowly, Benji walks Ethan backwards and gently pushes him back on the bed and into the pillows. He could do this forever, he thinks, as he’s kissing Ethan. He’s basically on top of him now, hands moving up into his impossibly soft hair. When he tugs on it ever so slightly, Ethan lets out a delighted sigh that makes Benji grin into the kiss. Ethan’s hands are trailing across Benji’s back and pulling him even closer, if that’s possible. 

“I didn’t even–” Benji says between kisses, “I didn’t even know that you were, uh, well with Julia and all, I thought–”

Ethan chuckles and pauses to look at Benji, his gaze immediately making him weak in the knees. Luckily he’s already laying down. “I’m bi,” Ethan clarifies, “if that’s what you’re asking.”

Oh. Right.

Benji really does feel like an idiot. He hadn’t even considered that option. “I’m an idiot,” he mumbles. “Thank you for telling me,” he adds before diving back in and stealing another soft kiss. Then he flops down next to Ethan and rests his head on the other man’s chest, feeling the rise and fall of it, listening to his heartbeat. “I’m gay, if that wasn’t clear already,” Benji eventually says. 

“I’ve been pretty oblivious, so,” Ethan says with a laugh. “I’m glad we cleared it up, though.”

“Yeah, me too.”

For a while they’re just laying there, a comfortable silence between them. Benji is drawing patterns on Ethan’s chest absentmindedly while the other man holds him tightly in his arms. He feels so at peace and happier than he has in some time. When he came here less than two weeks ago he would’ve called anyone crazy if they had suggested he’d fall head over heels for some local storm chaser. Ethan Hunt surely wasn’t just some random guy, though. Despite the short time he’s known him, Benji knows that he’s special. He can feel it. 

All of the events of the past hours almost made Benji forget why he originally came here. He still has no answer as to what happened before. Did he ever tell you about Jack? Ilsa’s question pops back into his mind and the butterflies in his stomach are joined by an uneasy feeling. Then again, maybe he needs to give Ethan more time. They’ve only just figured a whole lot of stuff out after all. So Benji decides to postpone that particular conversation to another time. For now, he allows his happiness to outweigh his concerns.

Benji has lost track of time entirely when Ethan’s phone starts ringing. 

“Shit,” Ethan curses under his breath. “How late is it?” He scoots up and starts looking for his phone in the sheets. Eventually, he spots it on the floor and stretches to grab it. Before answering, he angles the screen towards Benji. It’s Ilsa. “We’re in trouble,” Ethan mouths jokingly and Benji has to suppress his laughter when the other man takes the call. 

—

Not long after, the two of them are getting ready for the day. Ilsa seemed quite mad that Ethan forgot about work and essentially left the team hanging but Ethan reassures Benji that it could be much worse. 

“You haven’t seen her really mad and trust me, you don’t want to,” Ethan jokes. “Though I have a feeling that she likes you a lot, so I think you’re safe.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Definitely,” Ethan nods. “She’s not usually that welcoming to strangers. And she’s been talking about your skills when I was still angry that you and Will were following us around all the time.”

Will. His fucking job. “Oh, fuck,” Benji curses and rakes his hands through his hair. 

“What is it?” Ethan asks, looking at him with concern. 

“Will,” Benji gives back, “I totally forgot about the whole job. He’s gonna be so pissed. He’s probably already ratted me out to Hunley. I’m so gonna lose my job.” He groans and covers his face with his hands. “This is a disaster.”

“Benji, hey.” Ethan comes over to him and gently takes hold of Benji’s wrists to pull his hands away from his face to look at him. “It’s gonna be okay,” he says softly. 

“No, but Ethan– look, I despise what StormPar is doing. But what am I gonna do? I need a job, how am I gonna–”

“Come here,” the other man interrupts him and pulls him into a tight hug, gently caressing his back. “It’s gonna be okay,” he repeats soothingly. 

Benji forces himself to breathe and slowly nods against Ethan. Once Benji has calmed down more, Ethan slowly lets go of him, takes his hands in his and looks at him. “Today you’re coming with us. And then we’ll sort out the rest. Maybe we can talk to Will and explain things. He might not wanna listen but that doesn’t mean you have to do what he says. Or your boss, for that matter. Hunley is an asshole, anyway. And you’re brilliant, alright? You don’t need them,” he says genuinely and soothingly strokes Benji’s hands with his thumbs. “You’re not alone,” he adds. 

Despite his best efforts not to, Benji tears up a little. He sniffs and finally nods with a small smile. “Thank you,” is all he manages to whisper. He can’t believe how supportive Ethan is without even knowing him for a long time and for that he is incredibly grateful. 

Ethan returns his smile and presses a soft kiss to his temple. Then he says, “come on, let’s not let the team wait even longer. They won’t be mad at you but they’re definitely gonna kill me if I don’t show up soon.”

Chapter Text

Ethan feels happier than he has in a long time as he’s driving back from his parents’ farm with Benji in the passenger seat. They left Benji’s rental behind, intending to come back for it later. The weather is outright beautiful today, sun shining and no clouds in sight. For now. Ethan taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm of some song on the radio and keeps stealing glances at the other man next to him, an easy smile on his face. Since the moment Benji kissed him, he’s been pushing any doubts or fears far down, convinced to ignore them. He’s glad, though, that Benji hasn’t brought up the incident from the other day again. Not yet, anyway. Of course, he’s aware they’re going to have to talk more about it eventually but Ethan isn’t sure he’s quite ready for all that yet. 

They pull into the diner parking lot and the rest of the team is already there. Ilsa and Jane are talking to Luther, their backs turned to the road. Ethan sees Luther nod in the direction of his truck and the two women turn around as well. As they get closer, Ethan sees Ilsa take off her sunglasses and squint at the truck before sharing a knowing glance with her wife. They’re saying something and Jane nods with a huge grin on her face. 

Ethan groans. “Did you see that?” He asks Benji, nodding towards them. 

“Sure did,” the other man says. 

“They’re gonna be insufferable,” Ethan continues, shaking his head with a chuckle. He pulls into the spot next to Luther’s van. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“Please,” Benji laughs, “I have two sisters. I’m used to this.” 

They get out of the truck and make their way over to the group. “Well, if it isn’t Ethan and Benji,” Ilsa greets them and looks between them, grinning just like Jane next to her. 

“Hey, guys,” Luther says with a nod but even he can’t hide his smile. 

“So, where are you two coming from?” Jane asks cheerily. 

Ethan rolls his eyes dramatically. “Don’t even start. All of you,” he chastises but there’s no heat in it. Benji laughs with the others and Ethan can’t help but join in. He could really get used to this, he finds. 

Soon they’re on the road again but the day is surprisingly calm seeing how there’s a massive stormfront coming this week. The calm before the storm, perhaps. As the day goes on, Ethan can’t help but notice just how well Benji fits into their little group, their team. He effortlessly blends in and gets along with everybody. He’s so funny, he makes them laugh all the time. And he’s basically talking non stop so things definitely never get boring. Not only that, Ethan is really impressed with his skills. Benji is so smart and for the work they’re doing, they could use someone like him on the team. Ethan knows this is most definitely moving too fast but he finds himself wishing Benji wouldn’t have to go back to New York. That he could just stay here with them. With him. If only–

“Hey,” Benji’s voice drags Ethan out of his thoughts. He plops down next to him in the grass, their legs brushing together as he does. 

“Hey, Benj,” Ethan replies with a smile and his stomach swoops when the other man smiles back. 

“What are you doing here all alone?” Benji asks. After driving around for a couple of hours, they stopped in some field, enjoying the late afternoon sun. 

Ethan lets his gaze wander around, spotting the rest of his friends over by the cars, chatting. He shrugs. “Just thinking,” he settles on. 

“Hm.” Benji nods and knocks their shoulders together. “Thanks, by the way.”

“For what?”

“Just, you know, taking me with you,” Benji explains. He picks at the grass and fiddles with it. “This whole trip turned out entirely different than I thought.”

“I hope that’s a good thing?” 

“Definitely a good thing,” Benji smiles in response. 

Ethan angles his body towards Benji and snakes a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him a little closer. His fingers gently curl into the hair at the nape of Benji’s neck. “Good,” he whispers before kissing him sweetly. 

When they break apart, Benji reaches a hand in Ethan’s hair, softly brushing it off his forehead. His eyes meet Ethan’s and all of a sudden he’s wearing a much more serious expression that makes Ethan’s stomach feel a little uneasy. 

“Do you think we could, uhm, talk?” Benji asks hesitantly, still carding his fingers through Ethan’s hair. 

Ethan lets out a breath. Here we go, he thinks. Despite dreading it, he eventually nods. “Come on,” he says and takes Benji’s hand to pull him up. “Walk with me.”

“Alright.” Benji doesn’t let go of his hand then. In fact, he interlaces their fingers and gives Ethan’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

—

Benji is nervous. The past 24 hours have been amazing, really. It’s still somewhat surreal to him that Ethan is actually interested in him. But, here’s the thing – Benji still doesn’t know what happened when Ethan panicked the other day or why he dropped him off at the motel without any explanation. Why he’s so avoidant and distant when it comes to his personal life. Despite those 24 hours together, Benji still feels that there’s something there. Something that keeps Ethan on guard around him and Benji has to find out what that is. 

“So,” he starts as they’re walking along a small path between the fields. 

“So,” Ethan echoes, looking into the distance before turning to Benji, signaling him to continue. 

Benji swallows and tries to organize his thoughts. First things first. “Can you tell me what happened the other day? When we were trying to drop off those barrels? I mean, uh– look, you took off without any explanation and you– well, I could tell you weren’t doing well. Something happened, didn’t it?”

Ethan lets out a long breath and squeezes his eyes shut for a second. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I really shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why did you?” Benji presses and curses himself for the impatience in his voice. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says and squeezes Ethan’s hand again, “I just wanna understand.”

The other man swallows hard and finally nods. “I get that, Benji. I do,” he agrees. “I, uhm, I panicked.”

Benji nods and gives Ethan space to continue by himself. The last thing he wants to do is pressure him again, especially seeing how much he clearly struggles with it. 

“The whole situation– I don’t know, it just reminded me of something. I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember, so you gotta understand, we’ve gotten into some pretty messed up situations before. And that felt like one.”

“Mhm,” Benji nods. He honestly figured as much. But something must have triggered Ethan and so far he’s still cagey about it. Benji wets his lips, trying to consider his next words carefully. But he has to ask. “Ethan,” he starts slowly, gently, “who’s Jack?”

Ethan’s eyes snap up, mouth slightly open in shock and Benji can feel his whole body going tense. Shit, he thinks. The look on the other man’s face makes Benji’s stomach drop and it only gets worse when Ethan stops walking and lets go of his hand. 

“What?”

“I just–”

“How do you know that name?” Ethan asks. He’s pale, Benji notes, the pit in his stomach growing larger.

Benji swallows hard. “Ilsa called me yesterday after– you know. I went by her and Jane’s and uhm, they asked if you told me about someone named Jack. They didn’t say anything else. In fact, they said it’s not their place to say any more and I should speak to you personally,” he explains, trying to keep his voice steady. “I didn’t mean to intrude, I promise. It just– well, it seemed related, you know?”

Ethan releases a sigh and half way turns away from Benji, looking at his feet and kicking the dirt. Seconds stretch into what feels like hours. When he looks up again, he pushes his hair back with both hands, still not meeting Benji’s eye. “You’re right,” he mumbles, almost imperceptibly. “It’s– yeah, it’s related.”

“Ethan,” Benji says gently, “look at me.”

Hesitantly, Ethan’s eyes land on his. There’s a lot of uncertainty in them, a lot of sadness. It makes Benji want to envelope Ethan into the tightest hug possible and never let him go. But he knows he needs to give the other man space. So, instead he says, “I’m here for you. Remember what you told me earlier? You’re not alone either.”

Benji can see Ethan swallow roughly, clearly still debating with himself. 

“Come, sit,” Benji encourages him and hesitantly takes his hand to pull him down into the grass once again. Thankfully, Ethan goes easily and doesn’t pull away. 

It occurs to Benji that he hasn’t been in this much nature in forever. He could get used to it, he thinks. “It’s so nice out here,” he says his thoughts out loud, hoping to make Ethan feel more at ease, “I might be a city guy but I’m really beginning to see the appeal of this place.”

That gets Ethan to raise an eyebrow at him. “You’ve said that before,” he remarks, “the night of the rodeo.”

“And I mean it,” Benji says with a smile. 

Ethan seems to be lost in his thoughts for a little while. Then, almost out of nowhere he says, “Jack loved this place even more than I do. He loved all of it. Always out and about even when we were just kids. He, uh– he had that crazy idea once in high school. Weather forecast had predicted a small stormfront. He wanted to go out there and get close to a tornado. We get them here all the time but this time he actually wanted to go through with it. I think it was mostly because he wanted to show off in front of the other kids.” He pauses and laughs a little, shaking his head. “Of course, I didn’t say no. And soon it became a whole thing.”

Oh. 

“He made you interested in storms and all that?” Benji asks. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Ethan replies, “that’s how it started, anyway. I suppose my parents would say that I’ve always had a thing for it, even when I was little. Somehow fascinated by weather. And I knew I wanted to do something that helps people.” He lets out another small laugh. “But I probably wouldn’t have done anything about it without Jack.”

“He sounds great,” Benji says empathetically, steeling himself for what’s still to come. He has a bad feeling.

Ethan’s hands are twisted together so much that his knuckles go white, so Benji carefully places his own hand on them and strokes them soothingly with his thumb. “What happened?” He asks quietly. 

The other man blows out another breath. “We went out one day, chasing another storm like we had so many times before. It was Ilsa and Jane in one car, Jack and I in the other. We ended up getting into the storm, it came right at us. We, uhm, maybe we weren’t paying enough attention. I barely remember anything from before it happened,” he says and shrugs. “Anyway, we had to get out of the truck, running like hell. We got to this overpass but then– I couldn’t– he–” Ethan’s voice breaks and Benji realizes that he’s started crying. 

“Hey, Ethan,” Benji tries to soothe, “hey.” He gently pries Ethan’s twisted hands apart and takes them into his own, holding them tightly. It all makes sense to him now. “It’s okay.”

“I failed him,” Ethan eventually blurts out between tears, “I let go.” A sob escapes his mouth and Benji’s heart breaks for him. Seeing the man who he’s known to be so confident, so sure of himself like this wasn’t easy. 

Benji keeps swiping his thumbs over Ethan’s hands in what he hopes is a calming motion before raising them to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on them. “It’s not your fault,” he whispers. 

Another sob. “I promised– I told him I wouldn’t let go.”

“It was the storm,” Benji says, “it was too strong. You did your best, I know that much. You’re not to blame.” With that, he can’t hold back anymore and throws his arms around Ethan, pulling him against his chest. That apparently really pushes Ethan over the edge because now the man is sobbing, gripping the front of Benji’s shirt tightly. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Benji keeps reassuring him while rubbing his back in gentle circular movements, “I’m here.” He loses track of time and the sun starts setting in the distance but it doesn’t matter. 

After a while, Ethan’s tears subside and he slowly extricates himself from Benji. “I’m sorry,” he sniffles. 

“Nothing to apologize for, love,” Benji returns, the term of endearment just slipping out, probably much too early but Benji can’t find it in himself to care. 

“To answer your question from before,” Ethan finally says, voice steadier now, “I’ve been a lot more cautious since then. Especially when it comes to other people. People I care about.” He looks at Benji, a few stray tears still running down his face. Benji reaches out and wipes them away before tracing Ethan’s jaw gently. 

“I absolutely understand,” Benji says with a nod. “I don’t blame you at all. And you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“The others said the same,” Ethan gives back, “ever since I woke up in the hospital after the incident. I thought it got better with time, god, it’s been ages. But then you– I guess, it really brought up all these old memories.”

Benji brushes Ethan’s hair off his forehead and says, “this isn’t easy, Ethan. It takes time. Maybe even forever. I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like. But you don’t have to deal with it alone. You don’t have to hide it.”

Ethan nods shakily. “Alright,” he says. “Thank you, Benji.”

“Of course,” Benji gives back. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Go ahead.”

“You and Jack, were you– you know, did you love him?” Once the question is out, Benji holds his breath, scared he might have overstepped. This is none of his business, is it?

“I–” Ethan starts, then pauses. He bites his lip and looks down at their joined hands. “That’s a loaded question.”

“You don’t have to–”

“He was one of my best friends for the longest time. We grew up together,” Ethan continues, “so yes, I loved him. But maybe I also loved loved him, you know? I never told him about that, though. I don’t know if he, uh– if he would’ve ever felt the same or if he– I don’t know. I was too scared.”

Benji chews on his lip and nods. “I’m really sorry, Ethan. I mean it.”

“No, it’s fine, Benji. Look, it’s been a long time. And I thought I had it under control. I didn’t want to hurt you,” the other man says and squeezes Benji’s hands. 

“Like I said, there’s no need to apologize. I just wanted to understand and I do now,” Benji gives back. There’s a beat of silence before he adds, “for what it’s worth, I think anyone who wouldn’t love you is insane.” 

Ethan looks up at him, mouth slightly open and Benji immediately feels his cheeks heat up. “I know this is too fast,” he scrambles, “you don’t have to say anything back, there’s no pressure.” He dares to look into Ethan’s eyes and he’s smiling, complete with eyes crinkling and all. It’s a beautiful sight. It compels Benji to say, “I really like you, Ethan,” despite having said way too much already.

“I really like you too, Benj.”

It makes Benji’s stomach swoop and he can’t contain his smile, stretching over his entire face. Then, Ethan leans in and kisses him deeply and Benji can’t believe how lucky he is.

Chapter Text

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Benji says from the passenger seat. Since their conversation a few days ago, he’s been with Ethan and the others the whole time. It’s been a pretty calm day and they’re on the way to Luther’s for a well-earned barbecue. 

Ethan looks over at the other man before focusing back on the road. “Yeah?”

“I– uh, I think I have to go back to New York. The flight I booked originally, you know?”

“What? I thought–” Ethan starts but out of the corner of his eye, he can see Benji holding his hands up to stop him. He breathes out and gives the other man space to continue. 

“Let me finish, alright?” Benji says and Ethan stays quiet, scared of what Benji might tell him. “I haven’t changed my mind, if that’s what you think. It’s just that I need to sort some things out in person. I can’t just quietly up and leave. I’ve been working there for ages. Since I left London, actually. And now– well, with everything I’ve found out? I can’t just leave it at that,” the other man explains. 

“Oh,” is all Ethan can say.

“Yeah,” Benji nods. “You didn’t think I wanted to go back and keep working for StormPar as if nothing happened, did you?”

Ethan’s eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head. “No,” he mumbles, “not really.” In the last few days, they’ve been talking a lot about their future plans, work and otherwise. And Ethan knows that they’re on the same page. That doesn’t make it any easier, though. It’s all still way too fresh but if it was up to him, he would just keep Benji here right away. 

“Relax,” Benji says as if he can read his thoughts, “I’m planning to come back. If you’ll have me, that is.” 

Ethan rolls his eyes in mock-annoyance and shoots him a look. “I won’t even answer that,” he says and Benji laughs, bright and utterly infectious. Ethan has to force himself to tear his eyes away and focus on driving again.

—

“You guys should’ve seen his face,” Benji laughs. 

“I’d pay for that, actually,” Ilsa giggles and everyone else joins in. They’re at Luther’s, gathered around a table in his backyard. The barbecue is amazing, Benji finds, not quite like anything he’s had before. He’s just been telling the group about how he confronted Will about StormPar’s actions and how his colleague hadn’t even cared. Will was absolutely furious when Benji told him his opinion but, thinking about it now, it was mostly funny to witness. Benji can’t even imagine working like this anymore. Not with the company or with Will. Benji knows he’s not a bad guy per se but he hates his ignorance in favor of his career. 

“Didn’t get a picture, sadly,” Benji jokes and loads some more food onto his plate. 

Everyone is having a great time until Luther’s phone buzzes and the look on the man’s face goes from cheerful and relaxed to tense and worried within seconds. 

“What’s wrong?” Ethan asks and Luther turns his phone around so Ethan can see. His expression does the same exact thing. Benji swallows. This can’t be good.

“Huge storm is heading to a town not far from here,” Luther explains for the others, “much bigger than anything I’ve seen in a long time.” He sounds so concerned which makes Benji’s feeling of impending doom grow stronger especially because he’s never seen Luther lose his cool in all the time he’s been here. And they have been in some pretty tricky situations. 

“Is there anything we can do?” Benji asks slowly, thinking of their plan from before. What if they could actually make this storm disappear or at least weaken it? In the last couple of days, they’ve gathered more useful data, after all, which allowed them to refine the mixture in the barrels. “What about the mixture?” 

Ethan winces. “By the time we get there it’s gonna be too late.”

“We gotta help, though,” Jane chimes in, earning nods from everyone. 

“Definitely,” Ilsa agrees. “I still think Benji’s right. Let’s take the mixture, anyway. You never know,” she adds, giving Benji an encouraging look. 

Ethan seems torn but he eventually agrees. “You never know,” he echoes, “alright. We gotta get going.”

As they’re hurriedly getting up from the table, the amazing food long forgotten, Luther’s wife, Maria, says, “be careful, will you? All of you.” Then, she pulls her husband into a tight hug, whispering something in his ear and Luther nods, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

“We’ll be alright, Maria,” Ethan says kindly before turning to Benji as the others are already on their way to the cars. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Oh– uh, sure,” Benji replies, “but we should hurry.” 

Ethan pulls him aside, holding his wrist lightly. “We could use someone here,” he starts, eyes fixed on Benji, “you know, checking on the data, giving us updates.”

“What?” Benji’s mouth drops open in disbelief. Ethan really just wants to leave him here? He wants to help.

“Usually Luther does it but–”

“But Luther’s gonna help just like the rest of us. Just like me,” Benji cuts him off sternly. He doesn’t care that he sounds stubborn. 

“But Benji, look–”

“There’s no but, Ethan,” Benji interrupts him yet again, “these people need all the help they can get. I’m going.”

Ethan swallows hard. “I can’t protect you,” he whispers and there are tears in his eyes. 

“I’m not asking you to,” Benji returns, “and I’m not asking your permission, either. You’re not making decisions for me, Ethan. This is my life.” As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets them. Ethan is staring at him in shock before his expression turns blank. He doesn’t meet Benji’s eyes when he wipes the few stray tears away with the back of his hand. Then, he turns to leave. More accurately, he storms off without another word and leaves Benji standing there. 

“Shit,” Benji murmurs. He could smack himself. 

“Hey, Benji.” Ilsa’s voice startles him out of his thoughts before he can start spiralling. She’s coming back into the backyard from where Ethan just ran off to. “You can ride with us,” she says simply, no further questions asked. 

Only once they’re in the car, Ilsa levels a glance at him through the rearview mirror. “So, what happened back there?”

Benji takes a deep breath. “I was kind of an idiot,” he says. Jane turns in her seat to give him a look and Ilsa raises her eyebrow at him. He sighs and continues, “Ethan didn’t want me to go. He said I could check the data and update you guys instead. My reaction was– well, not that great.”

“Mh.” Ilsa seems to consider it for a moment, sharing a look with Jane. “He can be intense,” she says eventually, “very– hm, overprotective, I guess.”

“I’ve gathered that,” Benji agrees. “The thing is, I get that.”

“Do you?” Jane asks and she sounds a little upset. Ilsa reaches over and places a hand on her wife’s leg. “We’re not accusing you of anything, alright? We like you, Benji. But Ethan’s one of our best friends. He’s been there for us through everything. So, you know–”

“Of course,” Benji chimes in. “He told me about Jack.”

“He did?” Ilsa asks, with a slight surprise in her voice that Benji can’t blame her for. 

He nods. “Yeah. So I really do get it but in the heat of the moment I just– man, I fucked up.” Frustrated, Benji drags his hands through his hair and shakes his head at himself. 

Ilsa sighs and says, “look, Benji, Ethan must really like you if he told you about Jack. This isn’t something he ever talks about. I can’t blame him, either. Anyway, seeing that he cares about you this much I don’t think you guys can’t resolve this.”

Benji chews his lip and contemplates her words. “Maybe,” he mumbles. “I didn’t even mean to react like that.” Not that it matters now, he thinks bitterly.

“Why did you?” Jane asks, looking at him again. 

“It’s kind of a long story,” Benji replies, picking on a loose thread on his jeans. “I was sort of, uh– triggered, I guess. I had a relationship once that ended pretty badly because of my ex’s control issues. I know Ethan didn’t mean it like that but I just– something in me just snapped.”

“I’m sorry, Benji,” Jane says empathetically and Ilsa nods, giving him a small smile through the rearview mirror. “I’m sure you and Ethan will work it out,” she reiterates. 

Before Benji can answer, he spots the massive storm in the distance to their left. Holy shit. He gasps and points it out to the two women. 

“We gotta move,” Ilsa says urgently and speeds up. 

Chapter Text

Ethan firmly ignores Luther’s questions on the way, instead focusing his entire attention on the task at hand. He can’t think about Benji right now or the argument they just had. He needs his head clear for this. 

“Careful,” Luther warns from the passenger seat and points over his shoulder at the trailer with the barrels full of their mixture behind them. 

“Sorry,” Ethan mutters and slows down a little. No use in crashing although he would do just about anything right now to stop his mind from spinning. A sideways glance at his friend tells Ethan that Luther is about to say something, a worried look on his face. “Don’t, Luther, not right now,” Ethan says. 

They don’t talk until they get into town. The storm is not quite there yet but it’s starting to rain and the sky is getting threateningly dark. They have to get all these people to safety, Ethan thinks frantically. Most of them are still in the streets, going about their day as if nothing is happening. But Ethan knows better, knows not to underestimate the weather. Sure enough, only a few minutes after their arrival, the sirens start blaring and people are panicking, running around with nowhere to go. 

“We should get them to the theater,” Luther shouts over the wind, pointing at a nearby building. 

“Let’s do it!” Ethan yells back and starts ushering people over there. On the other end of the street he spots Ilsa, Jane and Benji, making his stomach drop. None of them should be here. None of them should be putting their lives in danger. Ethan knows that he’s being unreasonable, they’re all adults and they’re actively choosing this, but he’s too caught up in the moment to think clearly. He just wants his friends safe and right now, the safest place is far, far away from here.

The wind is picking up by the minute and Ethan knows they don’t have a lot of time anymore. Most of the people are inside the movie theater now, thank god, and he is about to make his way over there when a car flies by him, missing his head by a hair. He gasps and pushes his wet hair out of his face. “Fuck,” he curses and tries to catch his breath. It’s getting harder to see anything in the now heavy rain but all he’s thinking about is that he needs to find his friends, needs to find Benji, and make sure they’re all safe. By the time he notices the shaky water tower behind him it’s already too late.

Suddenly, someone grabs his arm and screams, “run!” He immediately recognizes Benji’s voice. 

They start running, Ethan desperately grabbing Benji’s hand and dragging him along. Then, out of nowhere, Ethan feels sharp pain in his foot, spreading out through his whole leg and he’s falling. He hits the ground hard and loses the grasp he had on Benji’s hand.  He turns to look and there’s a large piece of debris on his foot, trapping him. 

“Ethan, come on!” Benji sounds desperate. 

“I can’t move!” Ethan tries to drag his foot out from under the debris but he’s stuck. 

“Wait, I got you,” Benji gives back and tries to move the debris. “Shit,” he grunts, “it’s too heavy.”

One look at the water tower tells Ethan that they’re almost out of time. It’s definitely going to collapse any time now. “Go, Benji!” He urges, “just go, it’s alright!”

“What?” Benji yells, panic in his voice and on his face. It makes Ethan’s heart ache more than any physical injury could. 

“You have to go!”

“I’m not leaving you!” Benji shakes his head frantically and goes back to pushing at the debris. When it’s not working he resorts to grabbing both of Ethan’s hands and pulling with all his strength. 

Suddenly, Luther comes running from the side somewhere and a moment later the heavy weight is lifted off of Ethan’s foot. “We gotta go, now!” Luther yells, out of breath. 

Ethan scrambles up with Benji’s help, who’s still holding on to his hands tightly. “I’ve got you,” Benji gasps, “I’ve got you, Ethan.”

Pain shoots through his foot when he gets up but he bites back a groan and moves anyway, letting Benji pull him along. Luther is next to them as well and just when they’re out of the way, the water tower finally comes crashing down, hitting the street with a loud bang. There’s water splashing everywhere, mixing with the heavy rain and making them stumble. The storm is pulling on their clothes, making it harder to keep moving. Ethan barely knows what’s happening but somehow, god knows how, they make it to the theater. Ilsa and Jane are holding the doors open and the three of them scramble inside. The doors shut loudly behind them and Ilsa barricades them with Luther’s help. 

“Fuck,” Ethan bites out and leans against the wall before sliding to the floor. His foot is killing him. He only hopes it’s not broken.

“Ethan!” Benji is by his side in a heartbeat, crouching down next to him and looking at him in concern. “Are you okay?” He asks before he groans and shakes his head. “Sorry, that was a stupid question.”

“I’m sorry,” Ethan says, barely above a whisper, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I acted stupid out there, I should’ve seen–” Ethan rambles, trying to gather his thoughts, “I– I put you all in danger.” He looks from Benji to Luther. 

Benji stares at him. “What? Nonsense,” he exclaims. 

Ethan thinks Luther mumbles something like, “can you believe this guy?” before he actually turns to him. “It wasn’t your fault. We weren’t about to just leave you there, get it?” His friend says and leans down to give his shoulder a squeeze. “Now, we gotta get you somewhere a bit more comfortable and look at your foot,” he adds, tone suggesting that there’s no room for discussions. 

—

“Benji,” Ethan whispers, looking up at him intensely, “you’re here.”

Benji looks at him and sees his eyes welling up with tears. It breaks his heart to see Ethan so down and, even worse, to know that he had doubts about Benji being here.

He crouches down in front of Ethan, who’s sitting already, his foot propped up. Most of the people are now in one of the big auditoriums. “Of course I am,” he responds seriously. 

“I’m so sorry,” Ethan repeats his words from before and his voice breaks a little. 

Benji’s heart squeezes painfully. He didn’t mean to hurt Ethan with his words earlier, they just came out. “Shh, none of that,” he shakes his head slightly and reaches out to gently cradle Ethan’s face with both of his hands. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” he says, “I lashed out at you and what I said wasn’t fair.”

“Benji–”

“No, listen,” Benji cuts him off, “I get why you didn’t want me to come, I get why you were scared but in the moment I just felt–”

Suddenly, everything around them gets so loud. The storm must almost be here, Benji realizes in horror. The roof sounds like it’s about the cave in and it’s getting worse by the second. Benji frantically looks around when he hears some children crying. Their parents try to calm them down but they look just as panicked. The sight makes Benji’s stomach drop. Suddenly he remembers the barrels with the mixture. They haven’t dropped them off yet. What if it could actually make a difference? 

“Wait here for a second, okay?” He tells Ethan.

Benji is halfway up and about to go when Ethan grabs his wrist. “What are you doing?” He asks, eyebrows drawn together, concern in his eyes. 

“We have to do something,” Benji replies just as the whole building rattles. There’s not much time. But before he goes, he bends down, cups Ethan’s face again and kisses him deeply. “I’ll be back, I promise,” he says and forces himself to go before the other man can stop him. 

—

Ethan watches Benji go and a few seconds pass before his brain computes what’s happening. What Benji is trying to do. The thought makes panic rise up in Ethan and he feels like he’s about to puke. Ignoring the stabbing pain in his ankle, he scrambles to his feet and tries to run after Benji. Tries because it doesn’t exactly go well. He stumbles and almost knocks over a woman standing in the aisle. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, “excuse me.”

“Ethan?” Luther is behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Ethan whirls around. “Benji– I have to– he’s–”

“Slow down,” his friend says but he starts looking a little worried, “where is Benji?”

“I think he wants to go out there,” Ethan gives back. 

The realization is dawning on Luther’s face. “The barrels.” 

“Yeah,” Ethan nods frantically, “ we have to–”

“You stay here, alright, you can barely walk. I’ll go.”

Ethan wants to protest but even just standing here makes him wince in pain. Luther doesn’t wait for his response, just gives him another stern look and then goes after Benji. Ethan prays it’s not too late. It’s madness to go out there now, even he knows that and he’s willing to take a lot of risks. 

Ethan’s stomach drops when Luther comes back way too quickly and without Benji. “Where is he?” Ethan demands. 

Luther shakes his head. “He must’ve slipped out already.”

Shit. Fuck. This cannot be happening. Despite the pain, Ethan starts walking, ignoring the sting in his foot and shaking off Luther when he’s trying to hold him back. He makes it to the door and starts moving things out of the way to open it. When he does manage to open it, a splash of rain hits his face instantly and the wind is so strong that it almost pulls him out into the open. “Benji!” Ethan yells desperately. 

Luther and Ilsa get to the door and pull Ethan back together. The door almost comes off its hinges but Ilsa manages to close it at the last moment. 

“We have to go and take cover, now!” She yells over the loud noises of the storm. “It’s not safe back here!”

Ethan doesn’t care, he can only think about Benji being out there all alone in the storm, risking his life. His friends are dragging him back to the auditorium and they are just about there when the walls start rattling and part of the roof starts crumbling. The wind gets in and people start screaming. Soon, the wall cracks open and just flies away. Everyone inside tries to grab hold of something. Ethan’s hand finds one of the chairs and grabs it tightly. Suddenly, Ilsa scurries by him on the floor, getting dragged by the wind. 

“Ethan!”

At the last moment, Ethan manages to catch her hand. She grips his hand desperately as the storm keeps pulling her. There’s only panic in the room now, people yelling and crying everywhere. Ethan can feel the chair he’s holding onto slipping, slowly coming loose from where it’s fixed to the floor. His knuckles are white from how strongly he’s holding on. 

“I got you,” he grits out, refusing to let go even if it gets harder by the second. 

Then, out of nowhere, the wind stops. Just stops.