Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bokuto

The clock ticked.

It was an analogue clock. Bokuto had never loved it. Something about the way the hands moved by – seconds, minutes, hours – trapped him in the night sometimes. Time incessantly moving forwards to its inevitable end. Hypnotizing him with its movements.

However, Akaashi loved that clock. It was a gift from his parents, included in the bedroom set they’d bought them for their wedding. Dark wood headboard and deep green covers and golden knobs on the dresser. The clock was framed in the same deep wood as the bed.

The minute hand ticked.

Bokuto closed his eyes. The empty presence in the bed next to him pronounced.

There were a lot of reasons Akaashi might have gotten up at one in the morning. Getting a snack from the kitchen since his cravings had been unbearable this time around. Or, needing to pace because he was overthinking as he was prone to doing at night. Or possibly his sometimes insomnia getting the better of him, but then again, he’d usually watch videos on his phone or work from his laptop in bed.

Tick.

Akaashi wasn’t coming back to bed.

Bokuto pushed back the blankets, thinking of the best-case scenarios but not feeling them in his heart as he made his way into the hallway. At the other end, light spilled beneath the crack on the bathroom door.

Bokuto touched the wall, steeling himself, before making his way down.

Still, it could be anything. Upset stomach. Midnight shower. Glass of water.  

He knocked. “Keiji?”

Silence met him like a wall, one beat, two, followed by a whimper.

“Keiji.” He pressed his forehead to the door. “Can I come in?”

There was a shuffle. A sniff. Then, quietly, “okay.”

On the other side, Bokuto couldn’t deny what was happening any longer.

Akaashi wore one of Bokuto’s button down pajama shirts, too large on him and hanging past his hips. On one pale inner thigh, blood dripped towards his knee. More blood pooled on the tiles below him. Akaashi held a wadded-up towel, pink with the blood he’d already cleaned from his skin, but now with Bokuto here, he pulled his hands into his chest, looking small.

He hadn’t been crying before, but now he started. “Sorry. I’m so sorry. I…”

“It’s not your fault.” Bokuto closed the space between them. “It’s not, Keiji.”

Akaashi covered his mouth with a hand, trying to hold it together because it was what he did for them both. This, however, couldn’t be held by one person. Akaashi was miscarrying for the second time since they’d started trying to have a baby of their own.

Bokuto pried the damp towel from his hands and lowered the lid of the toilet seat.   

“Sit,” he directed gently.

Akaashi did, trying to compose himself. Bokuto knelt down between his legs and cleaned the blood off of him. “It’s okay, Keiji. Really.”

Akaashi’s bottom lip trembled, but he fought for a shred of calm.

While he did, Bokuto stayed quiet, trying not to think too hard about what was happening so he didn’t fold completely. It lurked like a shadow though, the disappointment and the heartbreak and the rage at the unfairness of it all. Ready to pull him under if he stopped fighting against it for a fraction of a second.

When Akaashi finally spoke, his voice was hushed, “I didn’t want to wake you.”

You should have. But Bokuto wasn’t going to say that when Akaashi was already breaking. “It’s okay,” he said instead. “I’m here now.”

He cleaned up what he could, watching Akaashi’s skin prickle into small bumps at where the cool air touched his damp skin, before handing him back the towel.

Bokuto held Akaashi’s cheek, brushing a thumb beneath his eye in a silent reassurance that he loved him before getting up for the supplies in their medical cabinet. Inside he pulled out the box of disposable briefs designed for this situation or for immediately after giving birth. They would absorb the blood and keep Akaashi as comfortable as they could manage over the next few days while he miscarried their baby.

When Bokuto had gone out to buy them months ago it had been with the intention of Akaashi using them in the hospital while they took turns holding their newborn in their arms, not for this, though he’d always known miscarrying was a possibility, he had optimistically not expected it.

He handed them over, knowing Akaashi would want to dress on his own and giving him the dignity he deserved. Once Akaashi had pulled them on, Bokuto returned to his spot, kneeling on the floor at his feet and looking up at Akaashi’s tired face. “Physically, how do you feel?”

Emotionally, they’d handle when they could. When they had the space for it. 

“Tired. Sore,” Akaashi admitted. “Like last time.”

Bokuto kissed his knee. “Okay. Do you want to stay here or move to the couch?”

“The couch.”

Bokuto rose to his feet, offered a hand, and led Akaashi out.  

And all the while, time ticked on.

Bokuto couldn’t say this was unexpected.

They were participants in a clinical trial for a fertility treatment designed to let two Alphas conceive on their own. This was their second attempt. The first attempt had ended this way too, except in a hospital room because they hadn’t known how to handle a miscarriage previously. Now, they knew, as long as Akaashi wasn’t bleeding profusely or had a fever or was in severe lasting pain, they could let it happen in the comfort of their home.

That didn’t make it easier though.  

Being on the safe side, Bokuto called their doctor and got confirmation they could stay home with strict instructions to contact her if anything changed. She wanted them to come out to the clinic tomorrow, but she would give them the night alone.

After he hung up, Bokuto rested his fist against the countertop. It’s okay. We’ll try again.

He gathered what was left of himself, grabbed the heating pack from the microwave and a bottle of water, and went to join Akaashi in the living room. Akaashi had curled into the corner of the couch with a blanket wrapped snug around him. Eyes tracing the pattern of the knit.

Until he grimaced, curling inwards.

“I brought heat,” Bokuto said, sitting next to Akaashi. His hands sought beneath the blanket, pressing the warm pack to Akaashi’s cold fingers and he took it to place over his abdomen. “Any better?”

Akaashi gave a pained breath. “Give me a second, Kou.”

So, Bokuto did, feeling utterly useless.

Exactly like when this happened last time, not able to help enough. Never enough.

He lightly drew his thumb over the creases on Akaashi’s brow and slowly, as the heat helped and the pain momentarily subsided, it smoothed. “I’m just cramping,” Akaashi said quietly. Beneath the blanket, with one hand holding the heat, his other found Bokuto’s to cord their fingers together. Then, speaking soft, but incredibly straightforward like he needed to say it to handle it, to accept it, Akaashi said, “I’m losing our baby again.”

Heartache had knit a home in Bokuto a long time ago, visiting only occasionally, rather than as a permanent fixture like when he had been a teenager, but now it hollowed him out. “I’m sorry.”

A corner of Akaashi’s lip pulled up sadly. “Me too.”

Because this was a shared pain, though differently felt by each, it was similar in its understanding of what they were losing.

Bokuto shifted, careful not to jostle Akaashi too much as he brought him closer and nuzzled Akaashi’s neck for his safe scent, calming and enduring, and Akaashi breathed him in too, relaxing against him. “I’m tired, Kou.”

“Do you want to go to bed?”

“I mean,” Akaashi pulled away so their eyes could meet, “I’m tired of getting so close, feeling so hopeful that we’ll have our baby, only for it to slip away. I’m so exhausted.”

A flicker of uncertainty filled the hollow of heartbreak. Those words sounded a lot like giving up, and while Bokuto understood them – he was tired of this too – he didn’t think now the time to overthink things in circles the way Akaashi was prone to doing. Not as physically tired and worn as they were tonight. Not while they were actively losing all they wanted and already beginning to grieve the loss.  

Bokuto gave a struggle of a smile. “We’ll take some time before we try again, yeah?”

Akaashi briefly closed his eyes, letting out a soft breath. “Yeah.”

Chapter Text

Akaashi

A twinge in his abdomen curled Akaashi into a ball in their bed. While Bokuto had tried to stay up until Akaashi fell asleep it had been a losing battle, so while Bokuto breathed deep and calm next to him, Akaashi waited for the pain to subside.

His middle contracted again, more severe, and he whimpered quietly through it. The heat had long since seeped out of the pack he held to himself, but he pressed it close anyway like it might help. Then, as quickly as the pain had started, it lifted, and he drew in a breath.

I’m losing our baby. Again. 

Grief notched in his throat, but didn’t loosen.

His fingers were cold against what they were losing. The heat pack long since cooled.

Heat.

I need heat.

He slipped from the sheets, leaving the room quietly to go reheat it in the kitchen. He shuffled towards the stairs, aching and sore, but his feet stopped at the second bedroom next to theirs instead. The doorknob was cool to the touch as he opened the door.

Shadows dominated the room except for a crack in the curtains that let in moonlight. The soft streak hit the opposing wall and cut a line across the crib.

It haunted this room. Three years it had stayed there, untouched and unused.

Of course, they’d never told anyone.

That three years ago, a teenage Omega had selected them off an adoption registry to give her baby boy too, not minding they were both Alphas. It had been chaos. They’d booked flights to Okinawa, constructed the crib in a panic, and left Osaka within five hours once they got the call she was in labour.

But the baby had been stillborn ten grueling hours later.

While they were still currently on the adoption registry, they hadn’t gotten a call since. 

Akaashi understood they weren’t the only couple struggling with this, but to lose their baby over and over and over again. It wasn’t fair. Some malicious, fucked up joke the universe was playing on them. Giving them hope, teasing them with it, until they went numb.  

Another cramp seized him and he grunted, moving his hand to his abdomen like he could somehow stop his body from failing. But he couldn’t stop this. And, they’d do it again. Stick him with needles, flood him with hormones, give him hope, only to end up here. Alone and grieving.     

Something snapped inside him.

He rushed the crib, overturning it with a scream.

It tipped, the empty mattress falling loose before the satisfying thud of the crib's bones followed. Some bars came loose, others groaned, screws rolled. It gave physical shape to his frustration. His muscles contracted painfully, fueling him as he reached for the sheer curtains with small owl decals on them, tearing them down. His hands, hungry for destruction, reached for the shelves of baby supplies.

“Keiji?” Bokuto sounded distant like he was underwater. “You’re going—”  

Down came the baby powder and diapers.

“Stop,” Bokuto said, drawing closer. “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Akaashi reached for the stack of blankets.

“Keiji.” Bokuto’s arms came around his chest, holding him up as Akaashi suddenly gave way, knees buckling as his sobs finally came loose. “Stop,” Bokuto murmured into his hair. They sunk to the ground, Bokuto’s body curled around his, and Akaashi cried in the way he needed.

“I know,” Bokuto whispered. He kissed Akaashi’s temple. “I know.”

And, Akaashi let himself break.

An ache woke Akaashi a few hours later as the sun pressed through the curtains in their room. He remembered getting into bed after his breakdown and taking something to help him sleep, but the edges of the memories were blurry. They left him in a groggy film as he carefully sat up against the headboard. The tears of last night turned to a disheartening numb. “Bo?” he rasped, mouth dry.

“One second,” he called from somewhere in the house. A second later, Bokuto walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “I brought water and painkillers. Here.”

“Thanks.” Akaashi took them, swallowing the pills. “Shouldn’t you be at practice?”

Bokuto lifted an eyebrow. “I called in sick for the both of us.”

Akaashi nodded, staring at the water bottle in his hand. “Sorry about last night.”

“It’s fine, Keiji.”

“I wrecked the nursery.”

“It can be fixed.”

A lump caught in Akaashi’s throat, threatening tears. “Sorry.” Akaashi rubbed his eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

Bokuto clamoured onto the bed, gently moving Akaashi so he was tucked against Bokuto’s steady chest while Bokuto leaned against the headboard. His scent safe and his heartbeat calming against Akaashi’s back. “You can sleep some more. We don’t have to be at the clinic until this afternoon.”

“I need to shower before we leave.”

“You have time to rest.”

Unable to fight it, Akaashi sunk into Bokuto. However, an ache in his abdomen kept him from drifting off and served as a reminder of what he was actively losing. “Kou?”

“Yes, my love?”

“What if it never happens for us?”

Bokuto’s chest rose and fell with a breath. They’d never spoken the possibility out loud before, each knowing it was possible but keeping it like a secret. Bokuto laced his fingers through Akaashi’s and lifted his hand to kiss the back of it. “It will.”

That optimism that once endeared Akaashi was hard to bear with now. He didn’t know how many more times he could go through this process before it ruined him entirely, until he was numb all the way through. He didn’t want to let Bokuto down though.  

Akaashi squeezed his eyes as an unwelcome thought rolled through his mind. A thought that became more present each time this happened. That took up space that it wasn’t warranted.

Maybe Bokuto would have been happier if he’d married an Omega. 

Akaashi blinked at the ceiling of the dark room as a technician gently rolled a transducer over his abdomen. The painkillers had set in, but he was still sore and bleeding into the absorbent briefs Bokuto had bought awhile ago. His shirt was hitched up to his chest and the hem of his sweats rolled down to expose his abdomen.  

“I’m sorry, hun. I know it’s uncomfortable.” the technician said, running the transducer over him. “The doctor needs the images.”

“It’s okay.”

This wasn’t a typical procedure for a regular miscarriage, but needed for him.

The crack on the ceiling that had been here last time still was. He remembered staring at it, holding his breath, until the technician turned the screen to show them the small bead that was their baby. Today, he couldn’t take his eyes off the ceiling.

“That’s all.” The technician removed the transducer and handed him a towel to wipe the gel off his belly. “Dr. Yuna will come and speak with you momentarily.”

Akaashi nodded his thanks as the technician left the room. Once he sat up and tugged his shirt back on, Bokuto placed his hands on the examination table, bracketing Akaashi’s hips with his arms. Without a word, Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck and Bokuto gathered him up in a hug.

When the door clicked, they separated, but Bokuto didn’t go far, standing at Akaashi’s side as Dr. Yuna Fumiko entered. Her natural inclination to calm and logic was steadying. Her heels clicked on the tiles as she turned the dimmed lights up and got settled at the computer in the room before giving them her full attention. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Akaashi nodded politely like his chest hadn’t caved in. “Thank you.”

Because what else was there for him to say? He didn’t blame her for this. If anything, Dr. Yuna was doing and trying everything to make this possible for them. While her interest was in the science and research, she wanted this to work too.    

“I appreciate you coming to the clinic,” she continued. “Much of my equipment is here otherwise I would have made a house call. I know it isn’t comfortable or ideal to travel in your condition. How are your symptoms?”

“They’re like last time.”

She nodded and typed away at the computer. “Sore and tired?”

“Yeah.” Akaashi leaned into Bokuto’s arm. “I’m still bleeding.”

“That will last a few days.” More clicks of the keys. “Have you taken anything for your symptoms?”

“Just Ibuprofen and heat.”

“Are you having any feelings of self-harm or suicide?”

“No,” Akaashi said. “I’m just tired.”

“I’m going to write you a note for a week of stress leave from work. It’ll give you time to recover and get some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Akaashi said quietly. 

“I had a second to look over your ultrasounds,” she continued. “I’ll have to wait on the labs for the bloodwork and urine sample to better understand what might be happening, but the ultrasound shows that your uterus is still in place.”

An effect of the fertility treatment was growing the organs needed to sustain a pregnancy in a similar way to what a male Omega would experience in their first heat. Since Akaashi was an Alpha, keeping the uterus in place after a miscarriage or a birth had been a concern since the rapid drop in Omega hormones could result in the body rejecting the uterus once the embryo or baby were out. Dr. Yuna had explained this at their initial meeting before they’d started the first round of treatment and again after the first miscarriage where they’d given him medications she believed would keep the uterus in place, which it had.     

 “There’s no need for us to remove the uterus at this time while you’re still trying to conceive. While the Omega hormones we administered have steeply dropped off, the low dose progesterone and the immune system medication we gave you is keeping your body from rejecting the reproductive organ as a foreign object.” She glanced at them. “If you experience any severe pain, increase in bleeding, fever, or delirium over the next week, go directly to the emergency department and have them contact me. It might be a sign of infection or a need for a hysterectomy.”

“Got it. I'll take good care of him,” Bokuto said. “And, not that we want to rush, but when will it be safe to start trying again?”

“A few weeks,” she answered. “Akaashi’s lab work should be back by this evening so my research team and I can work on some modifications to the treatment. See perhaps where we have missed crucial information that will allow you to carry a pregnancy to full term.”

They would do it again.

Undergo the process a third time.

It had to be Akaashi. They’d discussed it at length before they’d started trying. Bokuto’s job on the MSBY Black Jackals was too physical, too public, too busy. It involved traveling across Japan and sometimes internationally. Meanwhile Akaashi had the option to work from home a couple days a week, editing shōnen manga on his computer. 

And so, he would endure.

That night, on his way back to bed after reheating his pack in the kitchen, a sound from the never used nursery caught Akaashi’s attention and he paused in the doorway. Bokuto knelt by the crib, humming quietly as gentle hands patiently stitched back together what Akaashi had ruined.

This room held so much pain when Akaashi was here alone, but filled with Bokuto’s soft smile and careful work, it had a life to it. It leached with possibility and light, touching Akaashi at his core because he wanted to raise a family with this sweet, excited, caring man. 

Akaashi quietly crept into the room and knelt by the crib’s remains.   

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Bokuto said.

 “I was up.”

“You should be resting.”

Akaashi laid his hand over Bokuto’s where he held a bar. “I want to help.”

“Okay, but no heavy lifting in your condition.” Bokuto flexed his biceps. “I can handle that.”

Akaashi gave a small smile, and then reached for a screw.

Chapter Text

Bokuto

“Koutarou?”

The gentle voice pulled Bokuto from sleep and he yawned, opening his groggy eyes to see Akaashi sitting upright against the headboard, knees pulled to his chest. Bokuto curled close to Akaashi, resting his head against his thigh. “You okay, Keiji?”

“I’m fine.” Nothing in his expression said otherwise, so Bokuto took it at face value. Soon, Akaashi’s fingers were raking through Bokuto’s hair, threatening to send him back to sleep. “You have a game today.”

Bokuto pouted. “I can skip it.”

“I stopped bleeding two days ago. Most of my symptoms are gone.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone. Not until you feel a hundred percent.”

“You have to show up for your team.”

Bokuto tucked his face against Akaashi’s thigh where it was warm and soft. “Nah.”

“You’re a starter and we need the paycheck.”

“We have your paycheck.”

“For now, but when I’m on paternity leave I only get a percentage of my full pay. We need you to stay on the starting line-up to keep your salary, so you can’t skip games. Especially when I’m feeling better. I’m just tired now.”

Bokuto scowled into his thigh. “Stop being so reasonable.”

Akaashi laughed lightly. “One of us has too.”

Bokuto peeled back from his thigh to eye him up. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay. I’ll nap for a bit before your game starts and then watch it.”

With a heavy sigh, Bokuto rolled way from Akaashi and unfurled on the bed, spreading his arms and legs out to take up as much room as possible. “Fine. I’ll go to my game.”

“It’ll feel good to play.”

“Yeah.” Already he could feel the sting of the ball. Hear the crowd cheer. He closed his eyes as Akaashi’s hand found his hair again. Akaashi did seem better today. Less likely to tear apart the nursery now that he’d had some sleep and the worst of it was over, but sometimes he kept things to himself. Important things. Bokuto’s nose scrunched up. “Did you tell Dr. Yuna you stopped miscarrying?”

Akaashi was quiet for a long second, playing with Bokuto’s hair. “No.”

Bokuto blinked his eyes open. “Why not? It’s important.”

“I know…I just…” Akaashi sighed, hand receding from Bokuto’s hair. “I want to do the treatment again, I do, but…I haven’t felt like myself in a long time and I…” Akaashi glanced away, picking at a thread. “I need a break, Kou. The other night you said we could take some time before trying again.”

He had said that. He’d meant a week or so, until Dr. Yuna modified the treatment. The last thing Bokuto wanted to do was wait weeks or months. Their time was limited. After a year, if the treatment remained unsuccessful, the Japanese Medical Ethics Board would halt its development due to concerns around dangerous drug interactions with rut inducing medications and certain psychiatric drugs. The judge who’d put the condition in place had said if the fertility treatment couldn’t accomplish what it was being developed to do, allow Alphas to get pregnant, then it shouldn’t be designed at all. It was too dangerous.

That had been back in November. Now it was February.

That left them nine months to conceive a baby. They had the full nine months for Akaashi to get pregnant because once he was pregnant the Ethics Board wouldn’t shut down the treatment if he could carry the baby to term, but once those nine months were up, they would no longer have access to the medications needed for two Alphas to conceive in the first place.  

So, delaying trying for a baby definitely made Bokuto restless.

This entire process, however, was harder on Akaashi. Physically demanding. Both the treatments and the loss, so although this isn’t what Bokuto wanted, for Akaashi he could try to be patient. Forcing the matter wouldn’t hurry anything along anyway. He kissed where Akaashi’s thigh was. “How long do you think?”

Akaashi sighed. “Bo…”

“Sorry. We have time.”

Limited time.

“Thank you,” Akaashi said, tipping over Bokuto to kiss his brow. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“You’re going to be late for your game.”

Bokuto groaned, rolling off the bed. “I’m going.”

Being late wasn’t a problem because the game had been delayed.

Hinata called Bokuto before he got there to warn him, so while normally Bokuto would use the front entrance, instead he looped his car to the back door of the building so Coach Foster could let him in as per Hinata’s instructions. Their official venue for home games wasn’t attached to their training facility so Bokuto didn’t have a security pass for the back.

The locker room wasn’t the usual buzz of before game energy with music blaring from the speakers and everyone cracking jokes. Instead, the team sat around in various states of annoyance or frustration.

“This is pissing me off,” Atsumu shouted, kicking a locker.

“Miya,” Meian warned. “Don’t destroy shit.”

Atsumu gestured towards the door. “We should already be playin’ volleyball.”

“Well, wrecking shit isn’t going to help.”

“I—” Atsumu drew up short when his phone went off. He answered it and started to pace around the room. “Hey Omi.” A pause as he listened. “Nah, you can’t bring the twins ‘ta the game like we planned. There’re a bunch of protestin’ assholes outside.” Atsumu ran a hand down his face. “In fact, you oughta stay home too.” Another pause. “I know ‘Samu said he could watch ‘em so you could come alone, but I still think it’s better…” Atsumu’s voice trailed off as he wandered into the section of the locker room that held the showers.

Hinata’s eyes followed Atsumu until he disappeared. “When does Sakusa’s leave end?”

“He’s on paternity leave until the beginning of April,” Coach Foster answered.

And that was what started this entire protestors and harassers and media following them around the city to their games and to their training facility. Sometimes even to away games. When MSBY announced Sakusa was taking paternity leave to care for his twin sons it had been the tipping point for people to begin voicing their concerns over Alpha couples raising kids and that had also reawakened the fury of people who also thought Omegas shouldn’t be on any professional sports team because they should be having and taking care of kids, so the team was getting attacked on two accounts.

Basically, the MSBY Black Jackals were at the center of a lot of controversy.

It had gotten so ridiculous lately, Kuroo had been transferred to Osaka permanently to handle their PR. He still worked from home for the Japan Volleyball Association located in Tokyo, but the association had decided the Jackals needed him here more.

Bokuto set his bag down and unzipped it.

“Feeling better, Bo?” Meian asked.

“Much,” he answered. “Keiji and I caught some stomach bug. I’m good now.”

“Good to hear.”

The door flung open, slamming against the wall behind it as Iwa stormed in. “They’re still at it. Fucking pricks.”

“Babe,” Oikawa said, holding out a hand. “Come here.”

Iwa more or less stormed over, took his hand, and sat down in a huff. “Security is keeping the crowd back, but the regular fans still can’t get into the venue and are starting to demand refunds. Osaka police are on their way to assist.” A muscle along his jaw flexed. “We might have to play the Falcons in an empty arena.”

A chorus of groans echoed through the room. No one wanted to play without a proper audience. Bokuto included, he couldn’t get his blood pumping without the cheering. Bokuto shoved on his jersey anyway. They’d have to play either way.

Atsumu returned, scowling at his phone. “Omi says sorry again though I said he shouldn’t.”

“It’s not his fault his mother’s a bitch,” Barnes said.

“And her followers,” Tomas added from where he was lying across a bench.

Many of the protestors that followed them around these days were from Nuclear United which was an organization dedicated to upholding the nuclear family model of a Beta man and Beta women or an Alpha and Omega, of course with children. They held the belief that the downfall of society would happen because of queer couples.

Sakusa’s mother was one of the most influential people in the organization. While she’d never shown up to protest and had been quiet online since Sakusa had come out as gay and in love with Atsumu in a truly dramatic and scandalous moment last November, those in her organization had been showing up and demanding the MSBY Black Jackals be removed from the league for promoting corrupt values.

Bokuto just wanted to love his Alpha husband and focus on having a baby with him without all of this.    

A soft knock at the door drew their attention and Kuroo poked his head in.   

“The officials want to get the game started,” he said.

“Is there an audience?” Meian asked.

He shook his head. “They’re going to try and get spectators loaded in between the second and third set if the police can get the crowd outside settled and cleared. For now, you’ll be playing in an empty room. Sorry, guys.”

Another rousing set of groans filled the air.

The thud of the ball followed only by their own cheers was disheartening. It sounded lonesome in the large arena. Row upon row of empty seats staring back at them. Bokuto double high-fived Hinata, trying to keep spirits up, but he did love a crowd. Loved the thrill of people cheering for him. The cameras were broadcasting the game live so at least someone was watching.

The sets were tied up at the end of the second when they were finally given the notice from one of the officiants that the police had managed to clear the crowd except for those who had tickets.  

“Alright,” Coach Foster said, scribbling on his clipboard, “take a breather. It’ll take time to get the spectators loaded in.”

Bokuto wiped the sweat off his brow with a towel. They’d get a longer break than they typically did between sets then, so he took time to call Akaashi and check in on him, half expecting him to still be asleep, but he answered. “Hey, love, how you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Where’s the crowd?” Akaashi asked, not one to miss a single detail.

Bokuto winced, but explained anyway. When he finished, silence ticked on.

“Kou, what are we doing having a—”

“We talked about this,” Bokuto said, stepping away from the team and into the hallway so they couldn’t overhear. Voices floated down from the lobby now as spectators filed in, but they didn’t come down this way. “We can’t put our lives on hold because of people like that. We never would have gotten married then.”

“It’s not only our lives this time.”

There would be a tiny, fragile human life too.  

Bokuto leaned back against the wall. “I know.”

“It’s just something to consider. That’s all.”

Bokuto bit his lip. “We’re going to give our baby an amazing life, Keiji. One filled with so much love.”

A beat. Then, a sigh. “I know that. I just want to be careful.”

“We will be.”

Still, the words felt stale between them.

Please want this as much as I do, Keiji.

But Bokuto would never voice that out loud. They’d started this journey on the same page, both determined, both wanting, but the process was unraveling Akaashi in a way Bokuto couldn’t completely understand. He didn’t linger on the possibilities of what could go wrong, only believed that things would work out for them. They had too. He didn’t think Akaashi was thinking the same.   

“I’m going to get a snack before the next set,” Akaashi finally said. “Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’ll be home right after.”

After he hung up, Bokuto slid down the wall. This had all been a lot in a very short time frame and a fracture inside him let in some shadows.

Atsumu stepped into the hallway. “Bo, we’re about ‘ta start…hey ya alright?”

Bokuto wanted to crawl into a small space to mope. “Not really.”

Atsumu glanced over his shoulder at the team before back to Bokuto. “If you’re feelin’ sick ya can sit on the bench. It’s not ideal ‘cause we’re down Sakusa right now too, but—”

It bubbled out of him. “Keiji had another miscarriage.”

Atsumu froze, then his shoulders dropped. “D’you have ‘ta leave or…”

“It was last week. It’s why I was out sick.”

“Oh Bo, I’m so sorry.”

Bokuto nodded slowly. “Thank you.”

Atsumu fidgeted uncomfortably. He’d known about Akaashi’s first miscarriage and that they were trying to have a baby. Sakusa knew too. Also, Iwa, Oikawa, Motoya, and Kita. That was it though because they wanted to keep it quiet.

Bokuto found people never knew what to say, and honestly, he didn’t know either. So, with a breath, he got back to his feet and gave Atsumu a grin. “We have a game to go play.”

“If you need ‘ta take a second, I’m sure Coach wouldn’t mind.”

“No.” Bokuto stretched his arms over his head. “It’ll feel good to play. Get my mind off things for a bit.”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

Still, as he walked past Atsumu back into the room, the stands full of eager spectators now, he could feel Atsumu’s pitying look on his back.

After turning down victory drinks with the team, Bokuto got home after dark. The game had gone to five long sets and afterwards, he wanted to be with Akaashi.

He kicked his shoes off in the entranceway. “I’m back.”

“There are leftovers in the fridge.”

Bokuto reheated the dinner left for him and then joined Akaashi in the living room. He had his legs stretched out on the coffee table and his laptop out while he typed away. The screen reflected in his glasses.  

Bokuto gave a mock gasp. “Working while you're on stress leave?”

Akaashi gave him a conspiratorial smile. “Don’t tell Dr. Yuna.”

“Never.” Bokuto dropped down next to Akaashi, balancing his plate.

“It was only a few pages.” Akaashi yawned and set his laptop aside. “Tenma needed them to get this issue out on time.”

“They didn’t have anyone to cover?”

“They did, but I felt bad, so I said I’d get it done. How was your game?”

Despite the fact Akaashi had watched the entire thing, Bokuto launched into an enthusiastic play by play while he finished eating. When he was done, he set his empty plate aside. “We had a bad season last year, so it felt good to win,” he concluded.

“Your next game is in Tokyo, right?”

“Yeah, this Saturday.”

“What if we head up early? Before the rest of your team?”

Bokuto tilted his head. “Why?”

“We could visit your sisters. Stay with my parents. Get away from everything.”

It wasn’t the worst idea. A break from everything and a chance to see family might be what they both needed. “I have practice Thursday morning, but we could leave after that and spend Friday and Saturday up there. Sunday morning too. How’s that sound?”

The soft smile that spread on Akaashi’s face was everything. The first genuinely happy one Bokuto had seen from him since the miscarriage. Maybe this was all Akaashi needed, a few days to feel like himself and not think about anything to do with babies or needles or hormones. Even Bokuto could admit, as eager as he was to start trying again, it would do them some good.

Akaashi kissed Bokuto softly. “Sounds perfect.” Then, he reached for his phone. “We should let Dr. Yuna know how I’m doing so she can clear me for travel.”

“Good idea.”

Akaashi put it on speaker and Dr. Yuna picked up on the first ring. “Akaashi-san, how are you feeling?”

“Hello, Dr. Yuna. Sorry to call so late." Akaashi met Bokuto’s eyes. “I wanted to let you know I stopped bleeding a day or so ago. I’m still a little sore and tired, but improving.”

“That’s a relief to hear.”

“We wanted to see if it’s safe for me to travel. We want to go up to Tokyo.”

“There aren’t any restrictions on traveling if you’re feeling well enough for it.”

“Great.”

“Though, I do have an update for you, now that you’re feeling better.”

The smile Bokuto had been so pleased to see on Akaashi’s face flickered. “Okay.”

“As per their guidelines I had to report the miscarriage to the Medical Ethics Board and they chose to come visit my clinic today in person. I have to keep them updated to continue my research.” She did not sound happy about this, but Bokuto and Akaashi knew that was a condition of the court. “They’re expecting an additional report by next month, so as soon as you are medically able, we need to get started with the treatments again. I'm working long hours to get the treatment modified before the weekend, but Akaashi,” she paused, “the board is considering having me to work with another couple if we don’t get started soon.”

And, in that second, the way Akaashi’s body tensed with panic, Bokuto knew he wanted to do this even if he had tried to put some temporary distance between himself and the treatment. Even as he questioned everything they were doing, ultimately, he did want this.  

“We’ll be there Wednesday morning,” Akaashi told her. 

Chapter Text

Akaashi

“There isn’t any reason to postpone your trip,” Dr. Yuna said. They were following her through the fertility clinic to her office. “As long as you stick to the treatment schedule and you’re feeling well enough, there’s no reason not to go about life as usual.”

These walls had become familiar. Their clinical white putting Akaashi on edge the moment he saw them and the smell of disinfectant always lingered in his nose for hours afterwards. He was sick of clinics and medications.

She let them into a small office and they got settled in the chairs.

“My research team has been pulling long hours,” she explained. “After the Ethics Board visited, we prioritized analyzing the data and modifying the treatment. I assure you it’s gone through all safety measures. Even if there were no Medical Ethics Board I would have run the tests to ensure it was safe for you to undergo.”

Akaashi believed her. Despite her being the one who kept filling him with medications and taking his bloodwork and checking in with him, he trusted her fully. She was meticulous with everything she did.

Bokuto scooted his chair closer to Akaashi. “So, the treatments ready?”

“Yes.”

Akaashi twitched a little. Neither of them noticed. “What’s changed?”

“Our team has reason to believe the inability to carry to term is being caused by an imbalance in your Alpha hormone. The first stage of the treatment has been traditionally to prescribe you rut suppressants in order to allow the Omega hormones to dominate in your system. We think by stopping your regular Alpha bodily functions your body is under the impression you’re in distress and unable to produce the correct nutrients for your biology and putting you into a sustained flight or fight mode, therefore your body thinks its inhospitable for producing life. It’s likely seeing the lack of proper Alpha bodily function as a sign that you’re not in a safe and healthy place to be raising a child.”

Akaashi heart stilled for a second. Maybe it was the rut suppressants like she was suggesting, but by Dr. Yuna’s explanation, it was just as likely his body was the problem. If there was something else wrong with him, something else broken, maybe his body was at fault.

Maybe it’s my fault.  

Dr. Yuna adjusted her glasses. “We’ve seen this happen in some women and Omegas before. For example, when an individual is malnourished, conceiving can become more difficult for them. It’s possible to conceive, but much harder. It also runs a higher chance of miscarriage as well. Since you’re an Alpha your body might be under the impression that you’re unwell and might be preventing you from carrying to term.” She twisted to Bokuto. “The health of the sperm can also be a potential factor. I’d like to collect a semen sample from you.”

“Done,” Bokuto said.

She typed into her computer. “We’ll have you do it before you leave today.”

Bokuto leaned forwards to give Akaashi a sly look and wiggled his eyebrows, which got Akaashi to smile. “Have fun.”

Bokuto winked at him.

Akaashi turned back to the doctor. “How have you modified the treatment?”

She finished typing and returned her attention to them. “We’ve removed the rut suppressants from the treatment as we want to keep your Alpha hormones functioning so your body believes your fit to have a child.”

Akaashi’s brows pulled together. “Last time we didn’t use the rut suppressant my Alpha hormones thought I was an Omega and tried to keep me away from Bokuto,” Akaashi said. It hadn’t been a fun time for either of them. Akaashi had become territorial over himself, distancing himself from Bokuto as if he was another Alpha Akaashi needed to be wary of. It had been confusing and embarrassing and not particularly great for having sex.  

“We took that into consideration.” Here, she nearly smiled. “We were successful at introducing a low dosage of synthetic Alpha hormones to synthetic Omega hormones in our lab so the hormones recognize each other as part of the same system. One of my assistants suggested it after researching how intersex individuals don’t react as though they are both an Alpha and Omega, but instead the hormones recognize they’re part of the same person. It’s an injectable medication you’ll take alongside the fertility treatment, so as your natural Omega hormone levels increase, your Alpha hormones won’t see them as part of a different person. The simplest explanation is to think of it as us training your hormones to behave in the way we want which is to see themselves as part of the same person instead of as two people.”

“And this will work?” Akaashi asked skeptically.

“It should. This is an experimental clinical trial, but I’m confident in it.” She did smile this time. “I also suspect you’ll feel more like yourself with your Alpha hormones remaining at a naturally occurring level. You’ll still experience some side-effects from the elevated Omega hormones, but it will better.”

It felt like being tossed a lifeline. Akaashi was still fighting against the waves, but feeling more confident in the dark waters. “That sounds good.”

“The dosage will be quite low so you shouldn’t have any dramatic spikes except in the natural Omega hormones we’re elevating. It’s similar to the way a vaccine is a small dosage of a virus to help the body build immunity against it so when more of the virus is encountered the body knows how to defend itself from getting sick. We’re going to teach your body to not react to the Alpha and Omega hormones as separate entities, but rather accept that they are both part of you at elevated levels.”

“This means no rut suppressants this time?” Bokuto blurted.

“Correct.”

That had not been easy for Bokuto the first time. Akaashi had been on suppressants, completely uninterested in sex, while Bokuto had been in rut. He’d mostly spent his rut alone which he’d complained he hadn’t done since they started dating. He hadn’t complained in an effort to get Akaashi to sleep with him, Bokuto had just needed to complain and mope and vent, and Akaashi had listened attentively while being fully dressed.

“It also means there’s no reason to delay treatments.” She turned back to her computer and began typing. “I’m going to fill out the prescriptions for our onsite pharmacist. I want to see you once a week for bloodwork and hormone testing for the first eight weeks. I’d also like to have you under observation for a night after you take the first dosage since we’re introducing a new medication into your system alongside the fertility drug. When is your trip?”

“We were hoping to leave tomorrow.” Akaashi shared a look with Bokuto. “We could stay tonight? Then, leave Friday morning instead?”

Bokuto nodded. “Works for me.”

“That works for me as well,” Dr. Yuna said. “We’ll have a nurse and researcher here overnight for observation. I’ll have my phone on as well. If you want to go home first and pack an overnight bag, it will take about an hour to prepare the prescriptions.” She paused to look directly at Akaashi. “If you’re still sure you want to continue.”

That he did know. “We’re sure.”

Bokuto reached over and squeezed Akaashi’s hand.

When they got home, Bokuto put the car in park, but didn’t immediately get out, so Akaashi didn’t either. Bokuto twisted to face him. “I can hear you overthinking.”

Akaashi sunk down in his seat. “It’s hard not too.”

“Let me hear it.”

“What if this doesn’t work? What if this is my fault?”

“Baby,” Bokuto said softly, reaching across to hold Akaashi’s hand. “You heard the doctor. The miscarriages are likely caused by the way the treatment was designed. We’re the first to ever try this, so there’s going to be some figuring it out.”

Akaashi rubbed his eyes, feeling bad. “Sorry. It’s probably my hormones making me emotional.”

“Doesn’t mean how you feel doesn’t matter.”

“I just haven’t been myself in…in awhile.”

He used to be more collected. Better able to calm himself and observe things from a rational standpoint, but these drugs they filled him with and his chaotic hormones had turned his once overthinking into an endless loop of thoughts that followed him wherever he went. No reprieve from them. He missed who he used to be. Missed the person he was before.

He didn’t want to tell Bokuto though. He couldn’t ruin this for them.

I can’t let him down.

Besides, the new formula should help him feel more himself. Dr. Yuna had said so.

“Keiji.” Bokuto sounded nervous. “Do you still want a baby?”

“So much.” He knew that one thing. When he pictured their future, there was them and their baby in their house full of love and warmth. The image, however, was blurred and felt out of reach, but he wanted to make it clear. “I do, Bo. Really.” That didn’t make the rest of this any easier though. “This has just been hard.”

“Anything I can do to make it easier?”

Akaashi tipped his face to Bokuto. “You’re doing everything I could ask for.”

“I wish there was more.”

Akaashi did too.

“The first medication you’ll administer is the Omega and Alpha hormone combo medication,” the nurse explained. On a stainless-steel tray in their room were two vials of medication, sanitizing wipes, and two needles. “Then, you’ll administer the fertility treatment, okay?”

“Okay,” Akaashi said, already familiar with the second one.

The fertility medication worked by binding his Omega hormones – which existed in every Alpha, though in a far lower amount than it did in an Omega – to what were traditionally called the love hormones of oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. A surge in the love hormones would then inevitably cause a surge in Omega hormones because they were attached. This indicated to his body that he could get pregnant once sperm entered his system. Dr. Yuna had explained this to them at their first appointment and sent them home with pamphlets that he’d stayed up reviewing all night long. The bonding effect of the hormones was temporary and they separated again after roughly three months of not taking the medication. Of course, it hadn’t been three months since his second time going through this, so he still didn’t feel like himself.   

Not having to take the rut suppressants as a first step was new, but oddly a comfort for him. Maybe this time the treatments wouldn’t be so bad. His body didn’t react kindly to the surge in Omega hormones. It made him more emotional and more anxious. Without his rut hormones being suppressed, maybe this would be easier.

“Did you want to administer it yourself?” the nurse asked.

Akaashi reached for the hand sanitizer first. “I know how.”

By now, Akaashi was a pro at giving himself a needle. Uncap the vial, push the air out of the syringe, fill the syringe with medication, stick the needle in his thigh, and push the plunger. It took all of three minutes to get both medications into his system. 

The nurse watched carefully to make sure he did it correctly and then stayed with them for the first fifteen minutes afterwards to make sure he didn’t have an allergic reaction to the new medication. When he was still fine minutes later, she smiled. “That went well. Are you ready for the monitoring equipment?”

Akaashi glanced around their room. White clinical walls and while linoleum floor and white plain bedsheets on the double bed they sat on. On the left side of the bed, his side, there were machines to monitor his heart and his lungs. Mostly for data collection within the first twenty-four hours to see how his body reacted to the medication for Dr. Yuna's research, but also to make sure nothing bad happened to him overnight. They’d already taken bloodwork and a urine test before he administered the needles and they would do the same tests again in the morning.

It was getting difficult not to see himself as some sort of experiment.

Which he was, but it still felt surreal.   

“I’d like to shower first,” Akaashi said.

She nodded. “I’ll be back in an hour then?”

“Okay.” Then, she left.

Bokuto fidgeted on the bed. “How do you feel?”

Akaashi shrugged. “Nothing, really.” The look Bokuto sent him had Akaashi quickly clarifying. “Not in a bad way. We’ve done this part before, it feels routine. Normal.”

Maybe that was the problem, this part had become too normal.

“I’m going to go shower,” Akaashi said before his thoughts could get the better of him.

He gathered up his things, but didn’t strip until he was in the bathroom. There weren’t any cameras in here, only in the observation room to keep an eye on Akaashi overnight, so he was mindful to change in here.

The hot water felt good on his sore body, not from the needles but the tension that held his muscles tight through most of the day. They started to relax when he saw the door to the bathroom crack open and Bokuto peering in.    

Through the watery stream on the shower glass and without his contacts, Akaashi couldn’t see Bokuto clearly, but he knew the question Bokuto was asking by lingering there, and so, he nodded.

Within seconds, Bokuto joined him in the hot stream of water and reached for the soap.

Bokuto was gentle, particularly careful around the places Akaashi had been stuck with needles though the bruising was minimal. His touch was soft as he washed Akaashi, moving his hands over Akaashi’s hips and abdomen where no trace of the pregnancy remained. He had lost the baby too early in his pregnancy for him to show, so there was no stretch marks or loose skin, left without even a mark of what they had been through. As though it had never happened.

Akaashi made it through the night without incident, though he didn’t get much sleep with the devices stuck to his chest and his forearm that had been monitoring him. A quiet, but not quiet enough, beep sounding every half hour from one machine.

Bokuto had slept through it all. The bastard.

Well, he could drive them all the way to Tokyo tomorrow while Akaashi slept.

“Things looked good overnight,” Dr. Yuna said. “No adverse reactions, but if you experience any unusual side-effects over the next few weeks, give me a call. I’d like to include them in my report to the Ethics Board so they don’t shut the clinical trial down from medical fraud or negligence. The more detailed, the better.”

Akaashi nodded while the nurse pulled the electrodes from his chest and wiped off the gel left behind. It felt good to have them off. “We’ll keep you updated.”

“I’d like to see you in a week to do more lab work.”

Akaashi grimaced, but nodded.

“Everything appears to be progressing as expected,” she said. “There’s been a small increase in your Omega hormones already, but your Alpha hormones appear to be behaving normally. No feelings of isolating or being territorial over yourself?”

“No.” The opposite in fact. Akaashi wanted to cozy up to Bokuto, which was likely the Omega hormones at work, and he felt territorial over Bokuto, but the usual amount he expected to feel as an Alpha. “I feel pretty normal so far.”

“Then, I think you’re ready to be discharged.”

Next to Akaashi, Bokuto gave a sigh of relief. He still had to get to practice this morning and he didn’t want to leave Akaashi alone at the clinic. He couldn’t keep calling out sick and expect to stay on the starting lineup. “Awesome,” he said, nudging Akaashi lightly with his shoulder.

“While your best opportunity to conceive will be during the heat we’ll induce in a month,” Dr. Yuna said, while typing one last thing into Akaashi’s file, “you’re clear to start trying to conceive again immediately.”

And, so, here they went again.  

Chapter Text

Akaashi  

“An hour.”

“Two hours.”

Akaashi side-eyed Bokuto from the passenger seat, letting the silence do the work for him, and eventually Bokuto hunched over the steering wheel. “Hour and a half?”

“Fine.” Akaashi scribbled on the calendar on his lap. “If you win your game, you get an hour and a half out with the team. If you lose your game, you get an hour of consolatory drinks with them. Then, you come straight home so we can get started. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

“It’s only for a month.”

“Yeah, I know.” Bokuto straightened. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“When you work during the day and I have an evening game we barely see each other.”

Akaashi frowned, tapping his pen. “We’ll have to fit it in in the twenty minutes after I get home and before you leave.”

“I’ll be waiting for you with my dick hard.”

“Lovely,” Akaashi said flatly.

“I think it’s romantic. I’ll even put a cock ring on, make it pretty for you.”

Akaashi snorted. “Don’t do that. We need you to come quickly.”

“Well, I’m sure I can manage that. Ring or not.”

They were scheduling sex.

It didn’t make sex the most fun to schedule it at this frequency, nearly everyday if they could manage it around their schedules, but they needed to be having sex. A lot of it. Traces of Alpha sperm could exist inside someone for up to a month, so the more that was inside Akaashi before his medically induced heat, the better their chances and Akaashi didn't like leaving it up to chance.  

It was inescapable. The pressure.

Akaashi had thought coming out to Tokyo to visit his parents, who didn’t know they were trying to have a baby in this way, would take his mind off things. That getting out of Osaka would give him some breathing room. Instead, dinner had been a sharp reminder.

His mother had been setting the table. “I don’t understand.”

No, she wouldn’t understand. His parents were both Betas and straight. While it was unusual for two Betas to have an Alpha child, it wasn’t unheard of. Some dormant gene passed down through one of them most likely. Akaashi folded his hands in his lap. “It’s because we’re both Alphas.”

“That shouldn’t matter. Finding a surrogate shouldn’t be this difficult,” she sounded frustrated on his behalf. “You’d be excellent parents.”

“We think so too,” Akaashi said quietly.

His mother had paused before coming around the table to hug him.

Akaashi was their only kid. Their only chance at grandkids. They’d never been pushy about grandkids until Akaashi had told them Bokuto and him wanted kids. After that, they’d been excited, asking probably too many questions about how they’d manage that, adoption or surrogacy, but their curiosity had come from a place of wanting Akaashi to be happy.

The conversation had carried into dinner, leaving an uneasiness in Akaashi’s chest that followed him into the night so sleep couldn’t find him. He rolled onto his side to watch Bokuto sleep for a second. He’d be such a good dad. Playful and fun. Loving and warm. And Akaashi kept failing him. If he’d married an Omega, he’d already…

Akaashi winced against the thought, but it wasn’t easy to let it go. Not while lying here in the dark with nothing else to think about, so he got out of bed for the ensuite bathroom to take a shower.

The heat of the water helped to clear his head and to set aside thoughts he didn’t want. He stilled when the shower curtains pulled back and felt the cool air as Bokuto stepped into the shower with him. “Hi, love. Not able to sleep?”

Akaashi sighed. “No.”

Bokuto lightly pressed his body against Akaashi’s. The thick swell of his pecs pushed into Akaashi’s back in a question, and when Akaashi pressed his ass back, grinding against Bokuto’s crotch, the question was answered.

Bokuto slid his still flaccid cock between Akaashi’s ass cheeks and started to grind between them. It wasn’t long before he was hard. When he pulled away, replacing where his cock had been with lubed fingers that prodded at Akaashi’s hole, Akaashi braced himself with his elbows against the shower wall, willing and expectant.

Bokuto was a gentle and generous lover, at least he was now that they’d been together for years. Impatience used to, and sometimes still did, get the better of him, but not tonight. Tonight, he took his time opening Akaashi up and kissing along Akaashi’s shoulders and nipping at his ear until he was ready. “I’m good, Kou.”

Bokuto enveloped Akaashi’s body with his own, his broader chest covering Akaashi’s wet back. Bokuto sprawled his large hand onto Akaashi’s abdomen and pushed him backwards onto his cock. Akaashi’s back arched as Bokuto’s thick girth opened him further. Akaashi gritted his teeth, brow falling against the wall as he adjusted to the size of him.

Pleasure coiled tight inside Akaashi and he jolted when Bokuto’s other hand came down to stroke his hard cock. Precum dripped from his tip and Bokuto rolled his thumb over it, swirling around Akaashi’s swollen head.  

A moan bubbled out of Akaashi, but Bokuto’s hand that had been on his abdomen moved to loosely fall over his mouth to muffle it. His breath was hot on the shell of Akaashi’s ear. “Quiet, baby, or your parents will hear.”

That was the last thing Akaashi wanted. Heat rose over his skin like the steam around them as he flushed hard and pressed his mouth further against Bokuto’s hand to keep the obscene sounds he made contained. They still spilled out, muffled and hot, but quiet.

When Bokuto came, he buried his face into Akaashi’s shoulder to quiet his own groans of pleasure. Bokuto’s cock throbbed deep inside him, spilling hot and filling him up, and while Bokuto shuddered through it behind him, Akaashi gasped when his own orgasm hit him. His eyes squeezed shut as his breath caught and he came undone, tension finally giving way.   

Since Akaashi was in the city for their game he attended and after the Jackals won, he went out for drinks with them. When it started to get late, he tried to catch Bokuto's eye in the booth they were wedged into. They needed to get back to the hotel to fuck. Fortunately, the team budget covered their stay for one night in Tokyo so they could stop fucking like two teenagers trying to sneak around his parents’ place. He finally managed to catch Bokuto’s eye and Bokuto gave a nod. “Keiji and I are going to head out.”

“What?” Atsumu said from across the booth. “It’s still early. Why are you leavin'…oh.” He looked between Bokuto and Akaashi and a shit-eating grin spread over his face. “Say no more you horny bastards. Have an amazin’ time.”

Some days Akaashi wondered about the sanity of Bokuto’s teammates. Tonight, he offered up a small, sly smile. “Thank you, Miya. We will.”

Atsumu gave a laugh and took a sip of his drink.

“I have to go too,” Hinata said, looking at his phone.

“We’re heading back to the hotel,” Akaashi offered. “If you want to split a cab.”

“I…” Hinata stared at Akaashi and then cleared his throat. “No, that’s okay.”

“There isn’t any point taking separate cabs.”

“I’m not…” Hinata’s face flushed red. “I’m not going back to the hotel.”

They were in Tokyo. They had played against the Adlers earlier tonight. Akaashi put two and two together, Bokuto, however, did not. He tilted his head. “Where are you going, Shoyo?”

Hinata glanced away. “Uh, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s dark out though. We can have the cab drop you where you need to go.”

“Bo,” Atsumu said, tipping his beer at him. “He’s gonna go fuck Kageyama.”

Hinata’s neck snapped around to Atsumu. “Not so loud.”

“Shit right,” Atsumu said. “Sorry. Still a secret. I forgot.”

With the obvious stated, Bokuto dropped the matter and flung an arm over Akaashi’s shoulders. “Oh, well I hope you have fun too. Let’s go, Keiji.”

Akaashi stared at the tabletop for a second, wondering how this team was so open about sex to this degree. Not a single one of them batting an eye and instead wishing each other a fun time. 

Atsumu grabbed Sakusa’s hand. “C’mon, Omi.”

“Where?”

“Everyone else is gettin’ laid tonight I wanna get fucked too.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes, but did not hesitate to get out of the booth.

Bokuto held Akaashi’s hands above his head that night. One hand holding both his wrists to the mattress while he rocked his hips into Akaashi.

It was undeniably hot. Sexy.

Akaashi’s back arched as Bokuto’s cock dragged over his prostate. “Kou…”

“Feels good?”

“Mhm.”

Bokuto’s mouth found his in a messy, breathy kiss, no precision to it but gentle all the same, not taking but giving as their lips met and his tongue pushed inside. When his breathing caught and he stilled, Akaashi clenched around him, sending him over the edge and Bokuto groaned as he came. His lips fell away to Akaashi’s collarbone, pressing an open-mouth kiss there.

When he was done, he was breathing hard and looked bewildered. “That was so good.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Akaashi said calmly. 

Bokuto looked down at him. “You still hard, baby?”

“Yes.”

And Bokuto, being the man he was, lowered between Akaashi’s legs to suck him off because while Akaashi didn’t need to orgasm to get pregnant, it had always been important to Bokuto that Akaashi feel good too.

His hands freed now, Akaashi grabbed fistfuls of Bokuto’s soft hair, and moaned as loud as he wanted while Bokuto took him down his throat and Akaashi inevitably came. Thighs shaking and breath catching as Bokuto swallowed his cum down.   

“Sorry, sorry,” Akaashi said frantically as he burst through the front door of their house a week later already stripping off his pants. “The work meeting ran late and—”

“Explain later.” Bokuto stood naked in the hallway, cock already hard and shiny with lube where he’d worked himself up. “Fuck now. I’m late for my game.”

“Okay.”

Bokuto came over and helped Akaashi shrug off his pants. With Akaashi’s shirt and socks still on, Bokuto spun him around so he was facing the wall. He plucked the anal plug Akaashi had put inside his ass about an hour before work ended so he’d be ready when he got home. They didn't have time to open him up at home.

Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s hips and buried himself inside. Akaashi gritted his teeth, but a small sound escaped and Bokuto stilled. “You okay?”

“Just fuck me, Bo.”

Bokuto made small circles with his thumbs on Akaashi’s hips. “Take a second, Keiji.”

Akaashi leaned into the wall, breathing deeply to try and relax his muscles, and after about a minute when the burn turned pleasurable, he gave Bokuto a thumb’s up. Bokuto started to thrust slowly, gauging if Akaashi was really ready, before increasing his speed. 

It didn’t take him long to come since he’d already worked himself up beforehand.

Akaashi turned around when he was done, boxed in by Bokuto’s arms on the wall behind him. “Okay, you have to go.”

Bokuto looked down at Akaashi’s erection. “Keiji, you didn’t get to—”

“It’s fine,” Akaashi said. “I’ll take care of myself.”

“But I—”

“You have to get going.”

“It isn’t fair that I got to—”

Akaashi searched the ground and saw Bokuto’s gym bag. Completely naked and hard still, he picked it up and shoved it into Bokuto’s arms, quickly kissing his cheek. “Get dressed and go. I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay.” Bokuto kissed him again. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

And, so Akaashi finished on his own.

The thing about being told you have to have sex was that it was fun at the start.

But.

After awhile it became more like a chore.

Pants off. Dick hard. Hole open.

And orgasm.

For Bokuto, at least.

He finished shuddering through his latest orgasm and promptly rolled off of Akaashi to flop onto their bed, breathing hard.

Akaashi felt the wetness between his legs of cum and lube. He squeezed his ass to keep from spilling more of Bokuto's cum and then tipped his face towards Bokuto. “Do you think you have another one in you?”

Still catching his breath, Bokuto rolled his eyes towards Akaashi and gave him a wry look. “Just…” Bokuto stared up at the ceiling, “…give me a few minutes.”

“I can help? Blow you to get you hard?”

“Are you sure you can take more?”

Admittedly, Akaashi was a little sore, but nothing unmanageable. “Yeah.”

Bokuto nodded. “Ten minutes then.”

“Okay.” Akaashi wasn’t even hard this time. He didn’t need to be to get pregnant and while he could feel Bokuto's disappointment, Bokuto didn't try to force it.

Bokuto’s sweaty chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “This’ll be easier when they induce your heat. We’ll both be turned on without having to try.”

Akaashi stared at the ceiling, not saying a word.

After a month of perfectly timed sex and careful planning, Akaashi was given a medication to induce a heat which would be their best chance at conceiving. Buried in a nest of blankets and pillows, Akaashi was facedown in the mattress with Bokuto behind him.

Akaashi didn’t want him to stop. “Deeper, Bo.”

Bokuto gripped his hips, pulling them up so Akaashi’s knees were beneath him to readjust the angle, and Akaashi shuddered as Bokuto reached where Akaashi needed him to reach. A soft, pleased growl rumbled out of Bokuto, this position better for him too if the way he rocked into Akaashi was anything to go by.

No, Akaashi didn’t want him to stop if it meant relief from the relentlessness of his current heat. His body was lit like a flame, every touch of the sheets or Bokuto’s skin like a wildfire raging against his sensitive body. This mind that had graduated university had turned into a blurry mess unable to think about much else than the way Bokuto’s cock was splitting him in half.

“More,” Akaashi mumbled. “More.” He knew Bokuto had no more to give, his full size familiar inside Akaashi, but as he drew out, Akaashi felt the first swell of his knot against the rim of his ass. “Yes,” he drew out slowly on a breath.

“You sound so pretty, Keiji.”

Akaashi gave a sloppy nod. “Need your knot.”

“You’ll get it baby.”

Bokuto rolled his hips, dragging against Akaashi’s prostate, and coiling the need Akaashi felt even tighter. Akaashi pushed back against him, needing him, needing to be owned, needing this heat to subside so he could be comfortable. Bokuto’s hands dropped beneath him, one stroking Akaashi’s cock and nearly sending him over the edge while the other hand found the mate mark bitten into Akaashi’s hipbone.

Bokuto’s grip turned rough when he found the mark with a near bruising pressure, but Akaashi didn’t tell him to stop, didn’t wonder where his usual gentle and giving nature had gone because Akaashi needed. So, Bokuto took what was his, grabbing and taking desperately as he got closer to his finish.  

Akaashi felt the moment Bokuto tried to hold back his orgasm, the stutter in his hips as he tried to make it last, but it was inevitable and he slammed into Akaashi, reaching deep again in the way Akaashi needed as Bokuto came, filling him with warmth.

Akaashi felt the pressure and resistance of his ass when Bokuto’s knot finally caught inside him. His knot pressed hard against Akaashi’s prostate, and the tension inside him coiled one tick more before Akaashi came on the sheets beneath him. He withered on the bed, muscles convulsing and cock throbbing with the release he needed.

Bokuto was gentler after they’d both come, leaving kisses over Akaashi’s shoulders and massaging his muscles while they waited for the knot to come down. When it did minutes later, Bokuto carefully turned Akaashi onto his back and for a second, there was a softness in Bokuto's eyes, a care Akaashi was familiar with no matter how horny Bokuto was. 

But in a second it was gone, replaced with an unfamiliar lust. A greedy lust. Bokuto's eyes scraped Akaashi’s bare chest and hips and body with an eager, nearly asshole-like grin on his face. The edge of a canine tooth sticking out below his lip.

Akaashi’s stomach curled unpleasantly. He didn’t like having a heat. Not for the way it affected him, but for the way his heat affected Bokuto.  

Bokuto looked like an addict in need of his next fix.

And, Akaashi was his drug of choice. Not because of who he was, but rather because of what he was right now which was more like an Omega in heat than the Alpha he actually was. During the three heats Akaashi had had with each attempt at getting pregnant, Bokuto looked at Akaashi the way someone looked at an object to be used instead of a person to be enjoyed. Never had Bokuto looked at Akaashi like this during either of their ruts. Even during rough sex, love had been there, and now all Akaashi could see was lust and a high Bokuto couldn’t get otherwise. A high he couldn't get without a heat to enjoy.   

So no, Akaashi didn’t want him to stop because it felt better to have sex than to not have it while he was in heat and he knew deep beneath the crazed look in his eye, the Bokuto who loved him was there, but he couldn’t help feeling like he hadn't given Bokuto everything he needed. An Omega could have given him heats that he clearly so enjoyed. If he’d slept with an Omega first, maybe he never would have considered dating Akaashi. Bokuto and Akaashi had never slept with other people, which meant despite Bokuto being bisexual, before Akaashi’s heats he’d never spent a heat with an Omega before. An Omega could have given him a baby too. 

But Akaashi was too afraid to bring up his thoughts, so he kept them inside and dealt with them.    

Three more days of this heat.

Only three more.

Two weeks later, they were together in the bathroom after Akaashi took a pregnancy test. Ten long minutes of waiting later, he picked up the stick to see the results. 

Akaashi’s own voice felt muffled in his ears. “It’s negative.”

“It’s…what?” Bokuto said. 

“Negative.”

Numb washed through Akaashi like a wave crashing against the shore. From the tips of his fingers down to his toes, he no longer felt like he was inside his own body. His mind pulled to a screeching, unthinking stop before all his thoughts crowded in, each looking for attention first.

They’d have to do it again.

The needles.

The hormones.

The sex.

The heat.

“Keiji,” Bokuto started in that soft voice of his. “We can try—”

“What if it’s me, Kou?” Akaashi grabbed at his forearm. “What if it’s…this fucking body I have? What if I can’t give us a baby?”

“No, love, it isn’t—”

“It has to be me.” Akaashi scratched at his skin until it burned. “My fault. There's something wrong with me.”

“Getting pregnant isn’t always easy.”

“It shouldn’t be this hard!” Akaashi snapped.

Bokuto froze where he stood.

This room was suddenly too warm and too small. Akaashi felt like it was caging him in. “I keep letting you down,” Akaashi spat out quicker than he could think. “I’m letting my parents down. I’m letting myself down all because I can’t…this body…it can’t carry a baby. It can't even get pregnant. This is my fault.”

Bokuto kept hovering, looking unsure if he should approach or not.

“We’ve lost three babies, Bo. Three. Two of them my fault. And, the doctors are just going to keep trying. They’ll fill me up with hormones only for us to start back at the beginning again like the other babies never mattered or never existed, but Kou…” Akaashi’s voice turned raspy, “I carried those babies even if the time with them was short. I thought it was going to happen for us. I felt so hopeful.” Late at night when he had been pregnant, he’d stand in front of the mirror with his hand over his abdomen, whispering to a soon-to-be ghost that would haunt them. “I can’t do this again.”

The words rushed out like a relief and then immediately crumbled around them as Akaashi’s honesty hit the cold tiled room. A rough lump shoved into the back of Akaashi’s throat and tears flooded his eyes. “I can’t…” His voice cracked. “Can’t do this again.”

Bokuto looked scared, but not for himself, for Akaashi. “Keiji...what can I-”

“I’m sorry.” The tears fell faster than he could wipe them away. He inhaled, trying to calm down because this wasn’t him. This mess of a person wasn’t him. “I’m so sorry. Let me…I just need a break, Kou.” He was ruining everything. Letting Bokuto down. “Then, we can…try…” That last word came whispered. “I don’t want another heat though. The way you look at me…”

It was all too much.

Bokuto took half a step forward and when Akaashi didn’t pull back, Bokuto drew close. He gently wrapped his arms around Akaashi like he was some delicate, breakable thing, but it was already too late, Akaashi was already in pieces and once Bokuto was holding him, Akaashi gave out. They sunk to the bathroom floor where Akaashi cried.

“Okay, no more Keiji.” Bokuto kissed the side of his head. “I care about you more than the possibility of a baby, so no more. We can be done trying.”

Akaashi shook in his arms. “But you still want a baby.”

Bokuto was quiet for a long second. “Do you want one?”

“Yes,” Akaashi whispered.

“Then, let me do it, Keiji.” Bokuto spoke into Akaashi’s hair. “I’ll carry our baby.”

Chapter Text

Akaashi

The room was silent as the technician did the ultrasound.

A piece of Akaashi, however futile, was still hopeful. He stared at that crack on the ceiling again until they were done and then he sat upright and wiped the gel from his abdomen.

Dr. Yuna waited until the technician left before delivering the news. “There’s no pregnancy. No embryo.”

While Akaashi had known it was coming, it felt like a blow. “I thought so.”

“Since this wasn’t a miscarriage, we can start treatment again immediately.”   

Akaashi met Bokuto’s eyes. “About that…”

They’d been up most of the night talking through the details.

Akaashi didn’t think he’d slept at all even after Bokuto had fallen asleep, and now through tired eyes, he watched Bokuto lean over Dr. Yuna’s desk and fill out the necessary paperwork. Consent forms and health forms and the form about understanding the risks such as miscarriage, blood loss, migraines, vomiting, and more. The list of possible side-effects went on for pages since the drug was still considered experimental.

Each rustle when Bokuto turned a page, turned Akaashi’s stomach.

He hadn’t been able to carry their baby, so now he was inflicting it on Bokuto.   

They spent the first night in the clinical observation room.

Once the two medications had been administered by the nurse and the machines to monitor Bokuto overnight were attached to him, he fell asleep pretty quickly. Akaashi was left with the constant, quiet beeping of the machines and the shadows over Bokuto’s bare chest.

Akaashi trailed a careful finger down one of the lines from a machine that attached an electrode to Bokuto, not enough to tug at it, only enough to feel it. A bruise had started to form on the soft underside of Bokuto’s elbow where they’d taken bloodwork from him. Another machine around his chest monitored his breathing.

Akaashi’s finger trembled so he pulled it away. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. 

The worst Bokuto complained about the next day was a headache, which Dr. Yuna told them to keep an eye on and call her if it got severe, but was likely due to the hormone changes in his brain and wasn't cause for alarm.  

Since that was the worst of it, Bokuto was discharged and they went home.

Home felt different, walking through the door unmedicated and without the looming knowledge he’d need to go through it again. Instead, relief came with a heavy dose of guilt for forcing Bokuto into the position instead.

Akaashi was unpacking their overnight bags when he heard a clatter from the bathroom.

“Do we have any Ibuprofen? My head still hurts.”

Akaashi joined him in the bathroom and Bokuto moved aside for him to dig it out of the medicine cabinet. Sitting on the counter of their ensuite bathroom were the packaged needles and the first week of vials. The rest stored away. The sight of them made Akaashi tense, like he’d need to take them, and he had to look away. “Right here, Bo.”

“Thanks,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bathtub to take them. “Did you get headaches on this stuff?”

Akaashi leaned back against the sink. “Not really. Maybe a mild one the first day.”

“Annoying,” Bokuto said. “Though I guess it’ll effect everyone differently.”

“Yeah,” Akaashi said softly. A few ticks of silence spread between them. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do it.” He meant to sound calm and reasonable about this, but the words all came out in a hush. One that betrayed how he found himself guilty. “And, that you have to do it.”

“Keiji.” Bokuto stood up and wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s waist. “I don’t know how to convince you I want to do this and not only because you aren’t anymore. If it wasn’t for my job, I’d have offered in the first place, but we decided I should keep playing.”

“You love volleyball though.”

Bokuto shrugged. “I also love you and any potential babies we’ll have.”

Akaashi rested his brow on Bokuto’s chest.  

“Right now,” Bokuto said, “you need some sleep. You’re exhausted.”

“You should rest. I should make dinner.”

“You went through a lot for us,” Bokuto reminded gently. “Now, you have to take care of your brain so we can do this again. I’ll even come nap with you and then we can order in.”

“You slept all night, Bo.”

“I can sleep some more.”

“Okay.”

If Bokuto fell asleep, Akaashi didn’t know because for once, he was asleep first.

Later that night, the house was quiet. Akaashi was curled into the corner of the couch reading a book while Bokuto showered. When the shower turned off, Akaashi did his best not to react, turning the page, but he didn’t see the words, fixated on the sounds coming from the bathroom.

After a few minutes, the bathroom door opened. “Keiji?”

“Yes?”

“Can you come here?”

Akaashi bookmarked his spot and met Bokuto in the bathroom. Hair still dripping wet, he stood at the counter, in one hand a vial and in the other a packaged sterilized needle. “The nurse made it look easy, but…um…” He bit his lip.

“Want me to do it?”

“Please.”

They shuffled around the space so Bokuto could sit on the edge of the tub and Akaashi could wash his hands before he moved through the familiar motions of getting the needle ready. The easy way he did it turned his stomach like he was about to administer it to himself again and he had to breath deep through his nose to steady himself because this was about Bokuto now. 

He knelt by the tub, between Bokuto’s legs, and gave a nod.

“Okay.” Bokuto rolled up his shirt. “Let’s do this.”

“And, you’re sure?”

“Completely.”

No hesitation in his voice. Bokuto was really going to step away from his career for this family of theirs that they wanted. Akaashi pinched what fatty tissue he could find below Bokuto’s belly button – he was mostly muscle – and then pricked the skin with the needle. It felt like Akaashi was condemning Bokuto in some way.  

Bokuto made a small noise of complaint, but relaxed once it was in.

Together, they watched the medication seep into his body and then Akaashi gave the second vial of medication near the first, but not in the exact same spot. He disposed of the needles in the sharps container Dr. Yuna had given them.   

When he turned back around, his concern for putting Bokuto through this must have shown on his face because Bokuto tipped his head to the side and grabbed both of Akaashi’s hands in his. “Quit it, Keiji. I want to do this.” Bokuto smiled. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Such confidence, even after every loss.

Akaashi really wanted to believe him, but couldn't quite get there.  

A week later, Akaashi got home to find Bokuto ripping apart their kitchen and rather than burst into immediate tears over the mess, Akaashi gave a tired sigh and joined him. “What are we doing?”

Bokuto spun around with a meat stick and a cookie shoved into his mouth. “’m ravin’.”

“Thanks," Akaashi replied drily. "That cleared up everything.”

Bokuto munched on the food and swallowed. “I have cravings.”

“Cravings?”

“Did you not?”

“No.”

They hadn’t had sex yet so there was no way Bokuto was pregnant. He grabbed a fistful of sour candies and shoved those into his mouth too. “I think it’s the hormones,” he spoke around a multi-coloured mush of spit and candy. “Need sugar. And meat.”

Akaashi grimaced. “I kiss that mouth.”

Bokuto puckered up his lips.

Akaashi shoved a hand in his face. “Absolutely not.”

“But we have to make a baby, Keiji.”

“Not like that, we don’t.” Akaashi walked out of the kitchen with Bokuto trailing along behind him with the distinct sound of a snack wrapper. “Technically we don’t need to kiss to have sex. We can accomplish the task without our mouths meeting.”

“But I like kisses,” Bokuto whined.

“Oh, I know."

Bokuto followed him into the bathroom where Akaashi took off his watch and loosened his tie with a relieved breath. “Do you think they'd fire me if I showed up in sweats and an oversized hoodie? It wouldn't be very late-stage capitalism of me,” Akaashi said, tossing it aside.  

Bokuto tilted his head.

“What?” Akaashi asked.

“You seem…more like yourself.”

“Exhausted by the mere existence of life?”

“Yes. And, calmer.”

Akaashi turned, considering. “I think…I feel a bit more like myself.”

“These hormones were not kind to you.”

“It was them, but also just…everything. It was a lot, Bo.” Akaashi met his eyes. “If it ever starts to feel like too much or you feel off, tell me, okay? I’m so serious about this. I don’t want you to feel the way I did and deal with it alone.”

“I will. Promise.” Bokuto stepped closer. “As long as you tell me too.”

“I will.” It would take three months for his hormones to return to normal completely, so he anticipated having some days better than others, but already without the drugs directly being put in his system, he was noticing a difference. His emotions felt more regulated. “Promise.”

Bokuto leaned to kiss him, but Akaashi grabbed the mouthwash and shoved it into his chest first. “Did you know if you don’t have enough calcium to give a growing fetus, they’ll take it from your teeth and your teeth might fall out?”

Bokuto stared at him. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Hand me my toothbrush.”

Akaashi watched Bokuto brush his teeth three times. “Much better.”

“That mean I can kiss you now?”

“Maybe.”

“Akaashi.”

For the first time in awhile, Akaashi felt a small, genuine smile, pull at his lips.

It rained a couple nights later. A soft canopy of sound against the rooftop and the window of their bedroom. The easy, deep breaths of Bokuto next to him were steadying as always. Bokuto slept on his stomach, face practically buried into the pillow and sheets bunched messily along his waist with one leg sticking out the side. His arms were tucked under the pillow, broadening his wide shoulders with each easy breath he took like he truly believed everything would work out. His hair, after his shower and dried now, was soft and loose against his brow, giving him a boyish look that stirred Akaashi’s heart in a way it hadn’t in a while.    

He reached over and brushed a strand aside. “Koutarou?”

Since sleep never took long to find Bokuto, he shifted beneath their heavy blankets to pull himself out from near unconsciousness. “Yeah, Keiji?”

Akaashi rolled onto his side and lightly trailed his fingers down the ridges of Bokuto’s spine, making him shiver. “Do you want to start trying?”

Sleep didn’t take Bokuto after that. He blinked a few times before his grogginess cleared and a grin spread over his face. When his eyes searched Akaashi’s, the grin softened some, finding a nervousness in Akaashi’s expression. “You’re sure?”

His eyes still on Bokuto’s spine, he nodded. “I’m sure.”

The bedsheets tugged towards Bokuto when he rolled over onto his back, pulling them from Akaashi, and they draped over Bokuto’s hips. Akaashi saw the uptick in Bokuto's heart beneath his pec, and Akaashi reached over, laying a hand there to feel the excited flutter of it. He smoothed his hand against the swell of muscle, massaging into it until the nipple beneath puckered.

Akaashi moved to take Bokuto’s nipple into his mouth.

“Hey, wait.” Bokuto caught Akaashi's chin before he could, and tugged him closer so Akaashi’s chest and hips were pulled flesh to the length of Bokuto’s side. Bokuto rolled onto his side as well, so they were face to face beneath the blanket, bodies pressed together. “Come here first.”

Their mouths met in the shadows, unhurried and exploring each other’s shape. Soft and full. Akaashi’s bottom lip met Bokuto’s top one, feeling the heat of their breaths spared between them.

With Bokuto’s hips pressed against him, Akaashi felt his cock twitch, starting to stiffen. He nudged Bokuto’s legs slightly open, hooking his own between them so their hips were pressed more fully against each other, and Bokuto’s breath caught before he returned to Akaashi’s mouth, a new sense of urgency in his pressure.

They moved against each other for awhile, grinding against hips and hands searching wherever they could. Bokuto’s arm wrapped around Akaashi while Akaashi’s hands slid over his chest, teasing and pulling at his nipples to get quiet sounds from him.

“Keiji,” Bokuto whispered, breathless and needy against his mouth.

Akaashi kissed him gently with unspoken understanding before opening his mouth into a hungrier kiss while his hands moved from Bokuto’s chest to his grey sweats. He cupped Bokuto through his clothes first, feeling the heavy weight of him and the unmistakable wet spot growing on the fabric, and squeezed gently.

Bokuto groaned, pushing desperately against Akaashi. “Please.”

“Me too, Bo.”

They unslotted their legs, so Akaashi could hook his fingers over Bokuto’s waistband and help him shimmy his sweats and his boxers off. Next, Bokuto helped Akaashi out of his and the clothes wound up somewhere in the steadily tangling sheets.

With Bokuto bare, Akaashi reached between them, touch light on his excited erection and trailing up and down his length, feeling the vein that snaked along the bottom and the more sensitive and swollen head until Bokuto closed his eyes, giving a full body shudder. A needy, quiet sound escaped him, and Akaashi studied the small flickers and twitches along his jaw and around his eyes. Watching what he could do to Bokuto, the way he could unravel this strong and powerful man with the simplest touch gave Akaashi a sort of high.

When the light touches became too much and not enough in equal measure, Bokuto drew back from Akaashi and opened his eyes. Their golden tinge were dazed, happy but dazed, and Akaashi knew better than to expect he looked anymore collected.

They shared a beat of quiet, and then Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi and rolled Akaashi on top of him so Bokuto was on his back with Akaashi pulled tight to his chest. Then, Bokuto let his legs fall open on either side of Akaashi's hips.

An urge long unused overcame Akaashi. One telling him to take, to own, to get inside Bokuto right this second.

“Lube,” he managed to say in a rush because Bokuto wasn’t ready and he didn’t want to hurt him, but dormant Alpha instincts that he hadn’t felt while on the treatment were strong in their return and he wanted to be inside Bokuto. “Where is it, Bo?”

The smile Bokuto gave him, slammed right into his chest and Akaashi kissed him again, not getting an answer while he tried to devour him. Mouth rough and open against his, exploring Bokuto for a breathless minute. “Lube?” he said again when he could finally pull away.

“My end table,” Bokuto replied.

Akaashi stretched above him, and while he reached to open the drawer, Bokuto’s hands scaled his chest, having his own fun with Akaashi’s sensitive nipples, and making heat pool in his already needy cock. Bokuto licked between his pecs along his sternum and Akaashi’s head spun, but he finally found the lube, pumping some into his hand.

He kissed his way from Bokuto’s neck down his chest and his stomach, pausing briefly at his abdomen to kiss it more gently, fully understanding what they were trying to do here and the sacrifices Bokuto was making for them, before sinking lower and licking the underside of Bokuto’s cock.

Above him, Bokuto gave a low groan. “Keiji.”

A buzz swam through Akaashi’s head at his name, and while licking and toying with Bokuto’s length, he started to work him open. Bokuto’s hand curled into his hair, insistent on more, but worried taking Bokuto fully into his mouth might send him over the edge, Akaashi growled in response and Bokuto lessened his pressure. Bokuto’s own irritation as an Alpha leaked through when he gave his own growl, but he didn’t push Akaashi's head down further.

The fingers opening him seemed to placate his need, however, because after awhile, his panting filled the quiet room, mixing with the patter of rain, and he arched his back. Akaashi pulled his tongue away from Bokuto’s cock, giving him the break he needed to not come, and Bokuto’s back returned to the bed.

Blurry eyes sought out Akaashi, and Akaashi's eyes carefully traced Bokuto's face. “Look at you.”

Bokuto looked incredibly done in, teased and toyed with, his hair was disheveled and sweat glistened in the divots of his abs. He still shot Akaashi a grin. “You’re not much better.”

Akaashi glanced to his left at the mirror in their room, and while he didn’t have on his glasses, he could make out a blur of wild black hair around his head and could feel the sweat sticking to him. “You make me a mess, Koutarou Bokuto.”

“Happy too.” Bokuto reached up, holding Akaashi’s chin between his fingers and led Akaashi’s mouth back to his. Bokuto’s mouth moved from his lips down his jaw and to the sensitive spot behind Akaashi’s ear that made him crook his neck. Then, Bokuto whispered hot against his ear. “I’m ready, Keiji. Put a baby in me.”

Akaashi’s cock throbbed hard in response and he felt his cheeks heat. Oh.

“Keiji?” Bokuto asked.

Only then, did Akaashi realize he’d stopped moving, the sudden fire in his body alarming, but not unpleasant. The thought of filling Bokuto with his cum making his mouth dry. 

“Honey?” Bokuto asked, sounding concerned.

Well.

Akaashi decided to set his reaction aside to deal with later because every nerve in his body was excited now. Something feral sparking like a lit match to kindling. He kissed Bokuto once more, mouth harsh and hurried and thrilled before pulling out his fingers.

Bokuto sighed at the lack and Akaashi felt even more awake. More needy.

“Let me just…I need to…” Akaashi struggled. Put a baby in me.

He felt Bokuto tilt his head in a question. Akaashi didn’t usually stumble over his words or lose his thoughts, but his brain wasn’t working right now. Before Bokuto could say anything about it, Akaashi got more lube and stroked himself. The excitement pooled in his gut flowed to his cock and he bit his lip hard to hold back the orgasm coiling inside him.

“Are you okay?” Bokuto asked. 

Akaashi nodded. “Just excited,” he tried to say as neutrally as possible.

Possibly more excited than he’d ever been, but he’d think about that later.

He settled between Bokuto’s legs, cock dripping precum when he brushed his tip against Bokuto’s waiting hole. Akaashi loved Bokuto’s ass. The way it looked in his too tight sweats and how soft it felt in his grip, and his thoughts were a mess of that and filling Bokuto with his cum to make a baby when he finally pushed inside.

They gasped together. Bokuto made a small sound and closed his eyes.

Akaashi kissed his neck and his jaw while Bokuto stretched around him. It was a fight not to start moving with Bokuto’s tight heat wrapped around him, pressure sending signals to rock his hips and take what was his, but he waited until Bokuto relaxed beneath him, until he started to kiss Akaashi back, until his hands moved up and down Akaashi’s spine. Then, Akaashi started to move.

He’d missed this, he realized, as his cock ached inside Bokuto. Friction burning him up. Bokuto clenched around him and Akaashi's breathing grew sporadic, filling the room. Bokuto was his. Marked and mated to him. The sense of owning felt possessive, but couldn’t be helped when he was thrusting into Bokuto like this. When their mouths were meeting and Akaashi felt the connection and intimacy between them. 

Pressure coiled inside Akaashi, making it hard to concentrate. Bokuto’s nails were scraping his back as they rocked the bed, needy and desperate and climbing towards that razor edge. Their mouths got sloppy against each other and their chests rubbed together. When kissing became too messy, Akaashi buried his face into Bokuto’s neck, fire splitting through his body.

Bokuto’s breath was hot on his ear. “Come on, Keiji. Put a baby in me.”

“Fuck,” Akaashi groaned, orgasm breaking over him. His body stuttered and stilled, throbbing as he chased the high of his cum filling up Bokuto and getting him pregnant. Bokuto clenched around him and a garbled sound fell from Akaashi’s lips as he gave and gave until he had nothing more he could give and he started to drift in the feel good that followed an orgasm.

Bokuto hitched his hips with a needy whine, and still a little delirious, Akaashi reached between them to give him what he needed, stroking his hard cock, not teasing or toying any longer, but with a firm and steady hand until Bokuto came too.

They showered together before crawling back into bed, entirely satisfied and fuzzy in the aftermath. The blankets had ended up on the ground at some point so Bokuto grabbed them and tossed them over their damp and chilled skin. Outside the rain still fell, heavier now, and its soft lull made the whole world cozy.

Akaashi curled into Bokuto’s chest, feeling his deep, steadying breaths and finding comfort in his warm hold and familiar scent. They were quiet for awhile, so much so Akaashi thought Bokuto had fallen asleep, but then he spoke. “I could be pregnant.”

“It might take a few days,” Akaashi replied, “but the possibility is there now.”

At any point going forward, Bokuto could get pregnant. The induced heat only provided a higher probability which is why they went through with it at all. Akaashi did wonder how he’d handle Bokuto's heat if they got to that point. He wasn’t attracted to Omegas or heats, but it was Bokuto, so he assumed it would be fine. He couldn't imagine not being attracted to him. 

“That’s crazy,” Bokuto said.

Something in his voice had Akaashi pulling back so he could see his face. “Do you still want to do this?”

Bokuto nodded. “Yeah, I do. It's just...it's crazy."

“It is.”

Bokuto brushed his thumb over Akaashi’s cheek. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m worried about you going through this.” Akaashi’s hand moved beneath the blankets to rest on Bokuto’s abdomen. “But I’m starting to be excited, I think.” It was the first positive emotion he’d felt in awhile as minimal as it was, like beginning to breath again.

“Worried about it not working?”

“Yeah.” Akaashi couldn’t help it. The hormones had made his mind harder to deal with, but he’d always been an overthinker. Always considering everything that could happen. “How about you?”

“I feel pretty fucking fantastic right now. That was some good sex.”

“Kou.”

Bokuto grinned. “I’m hopeful. That’s all.”

And Akaashi thought, maybe he could be a little hopeful too. 

Chapter Text

Bokuto

The sheet in Bokuto’s hands wrinkled where he had a death grip on it. This part wasn’t supposed to be difficult, but now that he was standing outside Coach Foster’s office, the impact of what he was about to do hit him.

He jolted when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Ready to head in, Bo?” Iwa asked.

Bokuto stared blankly at him.

Iwa squinted. “You called this meeting.”

“Right. Yes.” His feet stayed planted. “Ready.”

Iwa gave him a nudge. “Come on then.”

Dragging his feet, Bokuto stepped into the small office where Coach Foster was waiting at his desk. Bokuto plopped down in the seat across while Iwa walked around behind the desk to lean against the wall. Then, the air went quiet.

“Well, Bo,” Coach Foster said, “you wanted to talk to us?”

Bokuto gave a sharp nod.

Iwa’s eyes narrowed. “What’s going on?”

“Here.” Bokuto shoved the paper at them rather than explaining.

Together, Coach Foster sitting at his desk and Iwa looking over his shoulder, they read it.

A long beat of silence followed.

“This is a medical leave form,” Coach said. “For a month.”

That wasn’t said as a question, but Bokuto treated it as though it were. “It is.”

Coach Foster stared into the void.

“Coach?” Bokuto prompted.

Coach Foster’s chair scraped against the floor. He calmly stood up, walked around his desk, and then lied face down on the floor. His groan was muffled by the concrete.

Bokuto shifted uncomfortably, looking to Iwa for help, but Iwa looked equally lost.

“Coach?” Bokuto tried again.

“Give me a minute.”

“Okay.” Bokuto kept his eyes on Iwa, rather than the middle-aged coach having a midlife crisis. Iwaizumi stared at the form, his jaw hard. Bokuto shifted uncomfortably. “Iwa?”

That snapped Iwa out of his stare. “Right.” He ran a hand over his face. “The note excuses you from games and heavy practice, but not from strength or cardio training.” He side-eyed the paper again. “With some mandatory modifications to your training schedule as per doctor’s instruction.”

“Yes.” Bokuto couldn’t sit still anymore and started to fidget.

“Can I…” Iwa hesitated, lowering his voice. “Can I ask what’s going on?”

Bokuto swallowed hard. “Our policy says you can’t.”

The MSBY Black Jackal's sick policy stated no proof of injury or illness was needed to be given when accompanied by a doctor’s note and that sick time could be used for the time off. However, after discussing it with Dr. Yuna, it was determined that training was safe for Bokuto to do, provided he didn’t push his body too hard since they couldn’t predict when he might get pregnant. This way he would still get a cut of his pay while he trained on limited hours while they were trying to make a baby.

His hands already itched with the loss of a good game. “It’s only for a month.”

For now. He’d have to take unpaid leave when he got pregnant. Medical leave wouldn’t cover the duration of a pregnancy – he was allowed up to three months of medical leave without proof of injury or illness with a doctor’s note – but afterward he would need to take an unpaid leave to keep the pregnancy quiet. An unpaid leave didn’t require any explanation to management for any amount of time. It did, however, mean no paycheck. Once he moved from medical leave to unpaid leave, he wouldn't be making any money, but there was no reason to tell MSBY management about the unpaid leave until he was actually pregnant. 

As it was the Japanese Volleyball Federation didn’t have a pregnancy leave policy in any division because up until Oikawa and Hinata had joined the league, there hadn’t been any Omegas playing, so there was no need for it. It was also rare in the women’s division since most female athletes were Alphas as well. They could still get pregnant, but it was more difficult and less likely to happen. If it did happen, they were forced to take an unpaid leave. It was Bokuto’s only option. So, they’d have to support themselves on Akaashi’s paycheck until Bokuto was playing regularly again after the baby.

“First, Hinata,” Coach Foster mumbled into the floor, “then, Atsumu and Sakusa last year.” He was referring to their previous season where a number of their starters had gone missing for weeks or months at a time, leading to the worst season in MSBY Black Jackal history.

“I’ll be coming back,” Bokuto said. Eventually.

Coach Foster rolled over to look up at Bokuto. “You realize this season is a determining factor for athletes to compete on the Japan National Team for the 2024 Olympics?”

Bokuto swallowed hard. For our family. “Yes, I know.”

“It’s just a month, Coach,” Iwa put in. “Lots of time to get Bokuto on the national team.”

Because they didn’t yet know it would be closer to a year between getting pregnant and carrying the baby and the weeks to heal afterwards, so neck stiff and guilt crawling over him like ants, Bokuto nodded in his lie, unable to say it.

“I’ll work with Bokuto to keep him on track with his schedule,” Iwa insisted. “It’ll make the transition back to playing easier. I assume you’ll still be at games?”

Bokuto tipped his head. “Can I be?”

Coach Foster nodded. “We’ll bench you for the month. No play, but you can attend when you're able.”

A little thrill spun in Bokuto’s heart. “That sounds good.”

“We’ll have Kuroo get to work on a statement for moving you to the bench,” Coach Foster said. “And, you can mentor the hitter we pull to starter.”

“That sounds really good,” Bokuto said. Even if it was only for a little while.

“And, you can get started with Iwa next week.”

Bokuto squirmed on his chair. This was going better than expected. “Amazing.”

“If that’s all,” Coach Foster’s eyes stared up at the ceiling, “you’re dismissed. I need to…I need to lie here for a moment and think.”

Bokuto wasn’t going to stick around in case Coach Foster changed his mind on any of the conditions. He grabbed his bag and headed out the door, feeling like things were really going to work out and glad to have the management support he needed. They would want him back in a year, for sure they’d want him back, even if his body was less strong and durable at first. His steps slowed as he paused at the doors to the parking lot, considering the changes his body would go through. But he’d get back into shape. He knew he could with the right outlook. 

He heard the office doors behind him, and Iwa caught up to him. “Hey, Bo…”

Bokuto turned around, shrugging his bag higher on his shoulder. He really didn’t want to have this conversation. He was shit at keeping secrets. His mouth always getting ahead of him, especially when he was excited about something like he was about this. “What’s up, Iwa?”

Iwa’s hands flexed at his sides. “I know you don’t want to tell me.”

I do. I do so badly.

“But, is everything okay?” Iwa hesitated. “Is Akaashi okay?”

At least Bokuto didn’t have to lie about that and he felt the stress melt from his shoulders. “Akaashi is good. He’s actually been doing really well lately.” He had been, sounding more like himself and enjoying things again. No matter how this went, Bokuto would never regret taking this on for them.

Iwa tilted his head. “If Akaashi ever needs someone to talk to about…things, I’m free.”

That small word, things, held a lot of implication. Iwa had gone through an Alpha pregnancy already and knew Bokuto and Akaashi were trying, so the things he meant were likely about going through it. Bokuto ached to ask questions, but instead he rocked back on his heels and tapped on his gym bag to keep his mouth quiet.

It was one thing for Akaashi, who had a desk job out of the public eye to be the one to do it, and another entirely for Bokuto, whose job was physical and had a team relying on him and the public paying attention to him, to do it.

They had decided not to tell the team it would be Bokuto carrying the baby. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t trust the team – those who knew kept it a secret when Akaashi had been trying to get pregnant – but Bokuto being pregnant was going to affect the team. It would bench him for nearly a year. If it worked. There was no reason to worry the team or management or the Japanese Volleyball Federation until they knew for sure it had worked. 

So, feeling his grin stretch uncomfortably over his face, Bokuto said, “I’ll let Akaashi know. Thank you, Iwa.”

Bokuto collapsed face first into the couch when he got home, gym bag trailing from his hand, and let out a groan into the cushions. Coach Foster was right for lying on the floor, burying your face into something was the ideal way to mope.

He felt the couch sink when Akaashi sat down near his head. “How’d it go?”

“Better than I thought.”

“Then, why are you moping?”

“I want to tell them it’ll be me.”

“Ah.” Akaashi’s fingers gently raked through Bokuto’s hair. “We decided not to, Bo.”

“I know.”

“We want to keep your team as distant as we can from this.”

Bokuto lamented by giving a low groan into the cushions again.

They knew it wouldn’t be a secret forever. An Alpha getting pregnant on purpose was going to be international news regardless of who carried the baby. Then, the media would eat the MSBY Black Jackals alive. Every press conference and interview would be focused on whether they had known about the pregnancy before it happened. Rumours would build over who knew what and when and how. The backlash against the team as a whole would be catastrophic if they knew ahead of time.

But if they found out only a few days before the news was released, they could claim plausible deniability. The team hadn’t known. They hadn’t been involved with this. They hadn’t supported this or Bokuto taking time off for a pregnancy. The media – and more importantly the protestors that had been harassing them lately – couldn’t be outraged at the team as a whole if the team never knew. They could only be outraged at Bokuto and Akaashi because that was the only option Bokuto and Akaashi would give them.

The media would go after the Jackals, but the team would have nothing to give. While the team would get caught in the crossfire for a bit, it wouldn’t last. Bokuto would take a step back from the team, distance himself, before the media found out so it wouldn’t reflect back on the team. It wouldn’t damage them further.

Iwa had once been pregnant as an Alpha, but it had been accidental and he hadn’t been on the MSBY Black Jackals at the time. This was different and when Bokuto and Akaashi went under fire for what they’d done, they would go under fire alone. They wouldn’t take anyone down with them. The news of Bokuto’s pregnancy was going to detonate like a bomb and he wanted to minimize the damages to those around him. In the aftermath all he could hope for was that the team would take him back when the dust settled.

This could be career suicide. He knew that, but he wanted a baby with Akaashi more.

And, he wanted his teammates to be as safe as they could be.

So, they couldn’t know. Not until Bokuto and Akaashi were ready to tell everyone.

“I hate lying to them,” Bokuto complained into the cushions.

“I know, but its safer for them to think I'm the one getting knocked up.”

Bokuto sighed. Akaashi was more himself, but that also meant he was more reasonable.

Akaashi shifted and then Bokuto felt the press of his soft lips against the nape of his neck, and he shivered at the warmth. “I have an idea on how to distract you from everything,” he whispered hot against Bokuto’s skin.

Bokuto grinned into the couch cushions. “I have a few ideas too.”

Akaashi leaned away, but his hand snuck beneath Bokuto’s shirt and rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades. “On the couch? Or do you want to move to the bedroom?”

“Haven’t had couch sex in a while,” Bokuto mused. “Here’s good.”

Afterwards, Akaashi stood in the archway from the kitchen to the living room, expressionless as he observed Bokuto and took a sip of the tea he’d just made. “Kou, honey, what are you doing?”

Bokuto was naked and upside down with his legs propped up in the air against the back of the couch. “I’m trying to keep your cum inside me.”

Much to his amusement, Akaashi’s eyes darted away and his cheeks turned red. While they hadn’t addressed it directly, Akaashi sure did seem to get really excited anytime they brought up the idea of him getting Bokuto knocked up. “You’re cute when you’re blushing.”

Akaashi went more red. “I’m fine.”

What made it even more hilarious was that his expression remained completely neutral under his obvious blushing. Bokuto gave him an upside-down grin. “Do you want to screw me again?”

Akaashi sighed, set aside his tea, and made his way over. “Yes.”

The stunned silence in the locker room made Bokuto fidget.

“The fuck d’you mean Bo’s been benched?” Atsumu demanded.

Iwa crossed his arms. “The reason isn’t for management to disclose.”

Atsumu shot to his feet from the bench, looking ready to pick a fight. Sakusa grabbed his shirt and yanked him back down. “Stop.”

“But Omi—”

“It isn’t our business,” Sakusa said, picking up his shoe. “He’s entitled to his privacy.”

That might be true, but the Black Jackals didn’t understand the meaning of the word privacy. Bokuto could feel them staring at him with questions he wanted to answer.    

“What’s wrong?” Hinata asked, prodding immediately. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Bokuto reassured.  

"Is Akaashi okay?"

"Akaashi is okay."

Oikawa leaned forwards, head tipped to the side. “Then, why the bench?”

Iwa shot him a glare. “You can’t ask that, Tooru.”

Oikawa rolled his eyes.

“This is a professional workplace,” Iwa reminded everyone. “We have policies in place and—”

“Oh please, Hajime-chan.” Oikawa sat back, leaning on his hands. “Half this team pretended to fake date you while you were pregnant. I think we’re beyond co-workers here.”

“We’re just concerned,” Barnes said.

“Really, I’m fine,” Bokuto insisted.

“Then, again I ask,” Oikawa pried, “why the bench?”  

“I…” Bokuto looked around the room at his teammates that had become so much more than mere teammates. He knew it. They all knew it. This was a family of sorts, as professional as they were supposed to be, but that was exactly the problem, he wanted to keep his family safe when his decisions imploded. “Don’t worry about it, guys.”

“Fuckin’ bullshit,” Atsumu complained.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Meian stepped in with his captain voice. “Bokuto clearly doesn’t want to share and we will respect his privacy.” His tone left no room for argument. “We look forward to having you back on the court when you’re able, Bo. I’m glad you’ll still be around on a modified training schedule. Now,” Meian clapped his hands together, “let’s get to practice. We’ll need to rework some plays before our next game.”

There were some grumblings as they got to their feet for practice. Bokuto would be sidelined for the first time, but there to discuss his modified training plan with Iwa. He shuffled out behind everyone but a hand on his upper arm tugged him back.

Kuroo.

Shit.

“Bo,” Kuroo said in a low voice once the others were out of earshot, “what’s going on? I know you don’t want to tell the rest of the team, but you’re going to tell me, right?”

Bokuto couldn’t meet Kuroo’s eyes. “Um…”

“C’mon, Bo. We’re way more than co-workers.”

“I know that,” Bokuto said.

But Kuroo would be the one most directly caught in the crossfire as their PR manager.

“So, are you okay? Akaashi okay?”

Bokuto squirmed. The truth on the tip of his tongue. “We’re good. It’s some embarrassing medical stuff,” he said, deciding that wasn’t much of a lie. “You don’t want to hear it. Trust me.”

“You asked me to check a mole on your ass once,” Kuroo reminded. “I can handle whatever it is. I won’t even laugh, I swear.” This came with a tug of a smirk that absolutely said he would laugh if the context called for it, and that cut right to Bokuto’s heart because he wouldn’t expect anything less. There were very few secrets between the two of them, but at this point in time, Kuroo didn’t even know about the fertility treatments. It hadn’t come up. He only knew about their struggle to adopt and find a surrogate.  

Bokuto rolled his shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, Kuroo.”

It was quick, the surprise on Kuroo’s face, but he let go of Bokuto’s arm, looking more confused than anything. “Okay.” An awkward pause. “But if you guys need anything, you know you can give me a call.”

“Yeah,” Bokuto smiled. “We know.”

Kuroo gave a nod to where the team had gone. “We can discuss your statement on being benched later. Let’s join the others.”

When Bokuto walked into the gym a few seconds later, he could feel the heat of everyone’s questions and concerns. He bit his lip hard, determined to keep this secret.   

A couple days later, Bokuto was home alone while Akaashi was at work, and he stood in their full-length mirror, twisting this way and that to see if there was any semblance of a change, but he was still as fit as ever. He ran a hand over his abs.

Akaashi looked roughly the same after the miscarriages, but the hormones and additional uterus growth had made him softer. Dr. Yuna had scheduled a hysterectomy for him in a month or so, when the Omega hormones would be less prominent in his system. They’d be removing his uterus meanwhile Bokuto couldn’t help wondering if he was already growing one of his own.

It wasn’t the hormones alone that caused the development of the necessary reproductive organs, or so Akaashi had read to him from the pamphlet, but the combination of the Omega hormones being elevated alongside sperm being in the body. It was why trans Omegas couldn’t sustain having a uterus even with this new medication. Hormones alone weren’t able to keep the reproductive organs in place, there needed to be sperm or a viable pregnancy.

Dr. Yuna had admitted she didn’t quite know why yet.  

Akaashi’s body would eventually reject his uterus, whether on hormones or not, once it realized it wasn’t serving the purpose of being pregnant or trying to get pregnant. The idea was to remove it before his body rejected it as that would be safest.

Bokuto, on the other hand, could start to grow the reproductive organs any day that they were trying to knock him up. Once his hormones were elevated enough and stayed there, and sperm was recognized in his body, he’d develop them to sustain a pregnancy, or at least that’s what he understood after Akaashi and Dr. Yuna had explained it a few times. A heat just raised their chances because it was a period of time with elevated Omega hormones for days. 

It would be like an Omega developing the organs for the first time during their first heat, but Bokuto wouldn’t get a heat from their development, it would just…happen. He lowered his hand, resting it on his abdomen. It could already be happening.

And once it happened and he was a few weeks along, he could tell Kuroo.

His phone alarm went off and he checked the pregnancy test he’d taken.

The negative line stared back at him.

He’d known it wasn’t likely, but he was too excited to be patient and thought it would be better to take it without Akaashi here in case this was the result, but now he wished Akaashi was here because disappointment clouded him.

“It’s going to work though,” Bokuto said confidently. “We’ll have our baby.”

Excitement masked the disappointment and he hid the test in the wastebasket.

He was washing his hands when he heard the click of the door. He left the bathroom and sprinted down the hallway, turning it into a slide on his socks while shouting, “Baby making time, Keiji!”

Weight training finished up late, so Bokuto was tucked away near the showers in the locker room, still dripping wet and texting Akaashi that he would pick up dinner on his way home so they could get right to making a baby.

Atsumu flung around the corner so fast, Bokuto jumped.

“So,” Atsumu said.  

“Hi,” Bokuto blurted.

Atsumu crossed his arms over his chest and his eyes worked their way down Bokuto’s body to rest against his crotch hidden behind his towel. “What’s wrong with your dick?”

Bokuto blinked. “What?”

“You’re taking medical time off playin’. You’re tryin’ to knock up Akaashi.” Atsumu narrowed his eyes. “Your dick bein’ faulty is the only explanation.”

“There is nothing,” Bokuto tightened his towel, “wrong with my dick.”

“Can’t get it up?”

“No!”

“Strugglin’ ‘ta find time ‘ta fuck?”

“No.”

Atsumu pursed his lips. “Actually, you two are probably fucking all the time.”

“Well…yeah. We are right now.”

Atsumu nodded. “I see. I see. So, the sex is gettin’ borin’?”

“No, that’s not…no.” Bokuto struggled for a reason that didn’t include him being sexually unsatisfied and their sex life being lackluster because it wasn’t. “We’re just taking time for ourselves. That’s all.”

Atsumu flung an arm around Bokuto’s shoulders. “I understand.”

“You…do?”

“You two have been married for a hundred years.”

“Five.”

“Things get stale. Boring even when you’re always getting the same dick.”

“I love Keiji’s dick.”

“Of course, but you need something new. A way to spice things up.”

“That’s not really—”

“Don’t worry. You’ve come to the right person.”

Bokuto stilled. “What do you mean?”

“I’m a certified expert when it comes to livenin’ up your sex life.”

“Oh,” Bokuto laughed nervously, “we don’t need someone to do that.”

“I’ve got ideas, Bo. Many ideas for a stuck-in-a-rut married couple.”

Bokuto was about to protest when Sakusa stepped into the small shower area. “Atsumu, we have to get going.” Sakusa took in Atsumu with his arm tossed over Bokuto’s shoulders and narrowed his eyes. “You have that stupid look on your face, Miya. What’s going on?”

“Bokuto and Akaashi are havin’ borin’ sex.”

“That isn’t what I said,” Bokuto protested. 

Sakusa turned to Bokuto. “You still trying to knock Akaashi up?”

Bokuto shifted nervously. “Yeah.”

“Why would you ever go to Atsumu for sex advice?”

“I—”

Atsumu cut Bokuto off. “’Cause Bo here knows I’m experienced.”

Sakusa snorted. “Sure.”

“You’re just bein’ mean ‘cause you know I’m more fun in bed than you, Omi.”

That was not the right thing to say. Sakusa’s shoulders inched up towards his ears. “That isn’t true.”

Atsumu lifted an eyebrow with a tiny curl of a smile. “Oh no?”

“No.”

“Seems ‘ta me ya had plenty of fun last night.”

Sakusa took a step closer to Atsumu. “But who planned last night, Miya?”

“The execution is far more important than the actual plan,” Atsumu insisted. “Without me, your plans would be borin’ as fuck, Omi-Omi. I give them life and excitement and fun.”

“Without my plans you’d still be fucking in missionary all the time.”

“I was doin’ plenty of nasty fun shit long before you.”

Bokuto weakly tried to interrupt. “Isn’t it always fun because you’re together?”

It seemed, however, neither of them heard him because Atsumu got up in Sakusa’s face, dragging Bokuto along by his neck where his arm was still wrapped around it. “Whatever I plan for Bo and Akaashi would be five billion times more fun than whatever the fuck you plan ‘cause I’m way more fun and way more experienced.”

With barely an inch between them, Sakusa stared for a long beat. Bokuto half thought they were going to kiss right here in front of him, but then Sakusa stepped back and straightened to his full height, looking down on Atsumu. “Prove it, Miya.”

“Won’t even be a challenge, Omi-kun.”

Bokuto’s eyes darted between them, not understanding. “What are you—”

“I already got a plan in the works for next week,” Atsumu said.

“My plan is ready to go this weekend,” Sakusa retorted.

“Guys,” Bokuto tried weakly. “I don’t understand—”

“Then, we’re in agreement,” Atsumu said, holding out a hand. “We each plan a night for Bokuto and Akaashi to get it on and they’ll judge whose plans are more fun.”

Sakusa shook Atsumu’s hand. “Agreed.”

“What?” Bokuto said, feeling numb in his fingers. “I don’t know if Keiji—”

Fresh out of the shower and with his hair still wet, Oikawa swung around the corner “Did I just hear that right? Miya is planning a night for you?”

“He…I guess…he is,” Bokuto said, feeling lost.

“No way Atsumu plans anything good,” Oikawa said flippantly. “Don’t ask him.”

The teasing smile on Atsumu’s lips sharpened. “You think you can do better?”

“Of course I can do better. Give me a date and time.”

Atsumu finally released Bokuto. “End of next week.”

“Done.” Oikawa shouted over his shoulder. “Hajime-chan, we’re competing against Sakusa and Miya. I’ll explain later.”

“Fine,” Iwa shouted back. “Whatever. Sounds good.”

Oikawa grinned smugly at Atsumu.

“Competing in what?” Hinata asked, peering around the corner. “I want to participate.”

“Sex Olympics,” Oikawa answered.

Hinata’s eyes went wide and he started to turn around. “Actually—”

“Not at having sex,” Oikawa explained. “But who’s better at planning a fun night.”

Hinata paused, more curious now. “What do you mean?”

“We’re each going to plan a night for Bokuto and Akaashi to get it on.”

“Their sex life has gotten borin’ 'cause they've been married too long,” Atsumu added. “They need us to liven it up.”

“I never said that.” Bokuto felt like he was on a runaway train.

“Best planned night wins,” Oikawa said. “They’ll be the judges.”

“Oh,” Hinata said, excited now. “I want to help. Don’t worry, Bo, we’ve got you.”

Bokuto stilled. Something in the way Hinata said it, so unaware that Bokuto and Akaashi were trying to conceive a baby but wanting to help simply because he thought his friend needed it, gave Bokuto pause because Hinata looked so genuine. This team of his really was everything Bokuto could have asked for and more. So rather than protest, Bokuto found himself saying, “Thanks.”

“Then, we’re all in,” Oikawa said. “I look forward to crushing you all.”

Atsumu gave a smug smile like he'd already won. “Let the games begin.”