Chapter Text
December 31st
Menace
are you still awake?
Tom
Yes
Can’t sleep?
Menace
yeah pretty much
Tom
Do you feel alright?
Menace
yeah yeah ofc
Tom
Are you overthinking?
Menace
nooo
i just couldnt sleep
also i just remembered
its your birthday
so happy birthday!!!
Tom
You already told me
30 minutes ago
In fact, more than a few times
Menace
youre right
it was your birthday 30 mins ago too
good catch ;)
Tom
I’m just saying there’s no need to keep repeating it
Menace
and i really dont care ;p
anywayy
why are you up then??
Tom
I just couldn’t sleep either
Menace
hmmm
maybe its what they call the post call depression
Tom
Is that a clinical term?
Menace
yup ofc
and i diagnosed myself with it too
purely out of solidarity though
Tom
I didn’t know medical expertise was one of your many talents
Menace
but now you do
Tom
Just making sure
We’re talking about the call where you hung up in my face, correct?
Menace
oh my god
i already told you
it was by accident
and i literally already said bye and everything
so it doesnt actually matter
Tom
If it were me, you’d still be giving me grief about it until morning
Menace
probably
bc it does sound like something youd actually do
do you actually ever talk on the phone?
Tom
Not really
Do you?
Menace
no not really
im a firm believer that most things can be solved through a message
or a few at most
Tom
Fascinating insight
Doesn’t change the facts, though
Menace
ok fine whatever
im not arguing with you on your birthday
cause im nice like that
Tom
Good
Then you should sleep
Menace
i already said i cant
are you even paying attention
Tom
I am
Menace
good
then
since youre awake too
i think we should keep each other company
Tom
It’s late though
Aren’t you tired?
Menace
i knowwww
but im not
also youre still here sooo
stay with me for like 15 more minutes?
Tom
Fine
15 minutes
Menace
<3
alrighttt
Menace
yes
and then i told him
“maybe try asking nicely next time”
and he said
“whatever, youre not even that fit anyway”
Tom
Charming, truly
He sounds like an imbecile
Menace
right??
Tom
Why do you even waste time talking to people like that?
Menace
well
this was like last year
but yeah this guy knew one of my mates so
kinda unavoidable sometimes
Tom
So he thought that gave him the right to insult you?
Brilliant logic
Honestly, some people seem really determined to advertise their lack of intelligence
Menace
lmaooo
thank you <3
Tom
For what?
Menace
for the moral support
and for calling him an imbecile, obviously <3
Tom
I was just stating the obvious
Menace
suuure sure
anyway
u wanna sleep yet?
Tom
Not particularly
You?
Menace
no not really
15 more minutes?
Tom
Alright
Menace
<3
alrighttt
then guess what he said literally a week later
that bloody moron
Tom
So I wrote it from scratch
And handed it in under my name only
Menace
omg
and you said this was back in 2nd year right?
Tom
Correct
Menace
omg
its like
you just quietly went full villain mode??
and you were basically 12
Tom
I wouldn’t call it villainous
I’d call it efficient
Why should I share credit for something they didn’t contribute to?
Menace
obviously youre right
i just think its funny
and scary
but like in a good way
in my head you were this tiny adorable little kid
with the most condescending face imaginable
am i close?
Tom
I don’t know
Menace
sure you dont
well
i assume that at least thought them a lesson?
Tom
I would say so
Though some people are naturally careless and require more than a few reminders about the importance of academic integrity
Menace
lmao
you mean goyle right
i still gotta thank the dude one of these days
maybe after school starts again
Tom
Don’t be ridiculous
Thank him for what?
Menace
for his low academic integrity
obviously
Tom
There’s no point in arguing with you, is there?
Menace
exactly
and guess what
i have a similar story
or
actually its not that similar
but i think youll find it funny
Menace
nooo
im absolutely not done
its just that my eyes are like closing rn
which is stupid
cause i always wake up later than you
but we go to bed at the same time
supposedly
be honest do you even sleep?
Tom
I do
Obviously
Menace
couldve fooled me
are you sleepy too then?
Tom
Yes
Menace
okayy
that does make me feel better
then lets sleep
Tom
Finally some common sense
Menace
ikr
common sense wins tonight
good night then
birthday boy
and happy birthday!!!!
Tom
Good night
And thank you
Tom
Good morning
Let me know when you wake up
And try to eat at a reasonable hour this time
Menace
heyyyy
good morninggg
first of all
happy birthday!!!!
second of all
omg its so late
how did you wake up so early tho??
did you only sleep for like 3-4 hours?
Tom
Roughly
And thank you
Though you can stop now
Menace
wont ;p
why didnt you sleep in????
its literally your birthday
Tom
Because I have things to do
I’d rather not waste the day
Menace
its not a waste
taking it easy would be super nice
especially today
even im taking it easy today
Tom
Aren’t you always?
Menace
nope
i wont be tomorrow
need to start doing homework ;(
Tom
What did you expect?
That it would magically do itself?
Menace
shut up
ill do it myself
but tomorrow!
anywayyy
what are you even doing now??
Tom
[photo of a snow-covered courtyard, empty]
Menace
okay okay fine
i cant disapprove of that
but dont catch a cold mr explorer
Tom
I won’t
Did you eat yet?
Menace
nope not yet
Tom
Then go eat
Menace
fine
just admit youre tired of me
Tom
No
Menace
alrighttt ;)
then
how does it feel being one year older???
Tom
If I answer this, will you go eat?
Menace
yup yup
Tom
Fine
It feels the same as before
Happy?
Menace
ofc not :(
Tom
Enjoy your meal
Menace
fineeee
but first
what did you eat for breakfast today?
ill go afterwards
Tom
You’re impossible
Menace
well
I already told you
youre not getting rid of me easily today
ive got tons of plans
Tom
Like what?
Menace
talk a lot
play something
watch something together
or even read together
basically whatever you want
ill do it
Tom
Eat first
And then we’ll see
Menace
fineee
you win
only this time tho
go enjoy your walk
and put on some gloves
and ill be back in like 15?
Tom
Alright
Menace
oh my god
i ate so much
why did i think dessert was a good idea
Tom
You always seem to think that
Menace
i know
but dessert after breakfast is a new low even for me
Tom
Can it still be considered breakfast at this hour?
Menace
thats a good point
maybe it was lunch then
makes me feel a little better
Tom
That was not my intention
Menace
shut up
you dont understand
theres so much food
how could i refuse
we still had so many leftovers from christmas
but mrs weasley keeps making more for tonight
at this point im gonna roll onto the quidditch field next term instead of flying
Tom
A tragic end for a promising athlete
Menace
shut up
no tragic end
cause i still have to drag you to a game eventually
ill make you love it
Tom
Highly doubtful
But you can try
Menace
oh i will
picture this
gryffindor vs slytherin
crowds going wild as always
youre sitting in the stands
obviously supporting gryffindor
youre wearing my scarf
so its obvious to everyone
and then malfoy sees you
and hes really shocked
and he falls off his broom
with a look of betrayal on his face
what do you think?
Tom
I think that you’ve clearly thought about this before
Menace
maybe
can you blame me?
Tom
Your dislike for Malfoy is remarkably consistent
Menace
aww
you think im remarkable?
Tom
No
Menace
mean
my everything hurts
i might die
and you cant be nice to me even now
Tom
Is it that bad?
Are you alright?
I didn’t actually mean it
Menace
oh my god
its not actually that bad
tho my stomach does hurt
and texting is a bit hard all considering
wait a sec
Tom
Alright
Menace
[voice message, “Do you know how to send one of these?”]
Tom
I don’t think so
Menace
just hold the little mic thingy and talk
if you want to i mean
no pressure or anything
Tom
[voice message, “Like this?”]
Menace
yessss
[voice message, “You sound exactly like last night”]
Tom
[voice message, “What did you expect?”]
Menace
[voice message, “I don’t know—I thought you’d sound a bit different”]
[voice message, “Like—morning voice or something”]
Tom
[voice message, “It’s currently lunch time”]
Menace
[voice message, half laughing, “Shut up”]
[voice message, “You do sound really good though”]
Tom
That was unnecessary
Menace
[voice message, mock dramatic tone, “That was unnecessary”]
[voice message, “Compliments are healthy, you should try them sometime”]
Tom
[voice message, “I’ll keep that in mind”]
Menace
[voice message, “Yeah bet”]
ah wait
a sec
Tom
Sure
Did anything happen?
Menace
i guess
you could say that
urhghg
my mates taking the piss out of me
hes also basically looking at me like ive lost it
Tom
He probably has his reasons
Menace
he doesnt
he keeps complaining im on my phone all the time
which i might be
but like
hes also on his phone all the time
texting hermione
hes not even subtle about it
but when i do it im a twat
these double standards i swear
Tom
He does have a point
You are on your phone all the time
Menace
oh wow
and what exactly do you think im doing on my phone all the time then??
Tom
I could make an educated guess
Menace
im sure you could
youre so annoying
but youre lucky its your birthday
Tom
So you've been telling me
Menace
by the way
[voice message, “Happy birthday”]
Tom
[voice message, “Thank you”]
Menace
ha
you dont even sound annoyed
bet youre smiling
Tom
How would you know?
Menace
youre right
but i will ;p
soon
ive got a feeling
Menace
why are you surprised
i have great taste
ofc it was good
Tom
It’s always a surprise with you
Menace
yes
a good surprise
Tom
I didn’t specify which kind
Menace
yes
you didnt have to say it
it was obvious
Tom
You know, modesty really isn’t your strong suit
Menace
why would it be when im always right
wait dont reply to this
actually just shut up
youre lucky youre the birthday boy
Tom
Only for a couple more hours
Then you can stop saying that
Menace
but i dont wanna
so ill see about that
anywayy
any new year goals??
Tom
I’m not sure
Not like I can do much while still at Hogwarts
Menace
doesnt have to be something big
small things are fine too
but fine
ill give you until tomorrow to think of some stuff
and then youll have to tell me everything
Tom
How generous of you
Menace
thank you
i try
Tom
Do you have any?
Goals, I mean
Menace
im not telling you ;p
until you tell me
Tom
That’s childish
Menace
its not
Tom
It is
Menace
its not
Tom
There's no need
We can talk later
Menace
and we will
just stay with me 15 more minutes first
Tom
What about your friend's family?
Aren't you being rather impolite right now?
Menace
i dont think so
its packed in here anyway
some of my mates brothers brought their partners and stuff
everyones talking over each other
so no ones paying any attention to me
and anyway ill spend enough time with them afterwards
Tom
Alright then
If that's what you want
I’ve just never seen anyone who cared so much about saying these things exactly at midnight
Menace
you dont have to understand it
just admit youve never met anyone like me ;p
Tom
I just did
Menace
huh
you really did
fine
let me tell you this one more time tho
probably the last
for now
but im still sad
anyway
happy birthday!!!!!
im really happy i was able to talk to you today
and spend your birthday together
in a way
and
i just wanna know
did you have a good day today?
be honest
Tom
Yes
I did
It was a very nice day
Thank you
Really
Menace
im really glad
you deserve it
actually you deserve more
so i hope next years even better
Tom
Don’t start worrying already
It sounds exactly like something you’d do though
Menace
im nott
i was just thinking
its kinda cool though
having your birthday on the last day of the year
of course you couldnt be born on a normal day
Tom
It’s not that special either
Menace
i think it is
but fine
anyway
will you be kissing anyone at midnight?
Tom
What?
What's with this all of a sudden?
Why would I be doing that?
Menace
oh my god
i forgot youre secretly 130 years old
its just some sort of tradition
people kiss at midnight to start the new year right
pretty self explanatory id say
Tom
Alright
Then no
Will you?
Menace
no
obviously
did you forget its just my mate and his family here
who would i even be kissing
Tom
Isn’t your former girlfriend there too?
Menace
lmao
thats kinda funny
do you not know what the word former means
Tom
I do
Menace
doubting that a bit rn
but anyway
have you ever kissed anyone?
Tom
No
Menace
hmm
you should
might make you less grumpy
Tom
So I’m supposed to just go out and kiss a random person now?
Because you said so?
Truly remarkable advice, thank you
Menace
noo wtf
when did i say random person
i just meant
itd be a shame if you never got to have your first kiss
cause you can be really sweet
and really cute
but you hide it really well
like really really well
you know what i mean?
Tom
No
I have no idea what you’re talking about
Which is a common occurrence
Menace
oh my god
youre so annoying
go ahead and die a virgin
see if i care
Tom
That’s awfully mature of you
Menace
thank you
i try my best
unlike you
Tom
You're so childish
Menace
i think you meant im the best person you know
Tom
And the most frustrating
Menace
just so you know
you are also the most frustrating person ive ever met
like ever
January 1st
Tom
That's very original
Menace
just shut up
Tom
You shut up
Menace
wait
oh my god
did we just start the new year having a really stupid fight??
Tom
Seems so
But you started it
Menace
shut up
let me just
happy new year!!!!!!!!!!
you really are the most annoying person i know
but im so happy i got to know you this year
and i hope next years even better for you
now come on
say it back
Tom
I’m very happy I met you, too
Menace
not that
i meant the happy new year part
but ill take it
gladly ;)
but didnt you say im very annoying and childish like 2 minutes ago??
Tom
Shut up
Happy new year
Happy now?
Menace
actually yes
very <3
wait a sec
Tom
Sure
Menace
[photo of a hand holding a sparkler against the night sky]
isnt this pretty?
Tom
It is
Menace
finally
youre being cooperative
now show me a photo of your hand
only fair
Tom
Just my hand?
Menace
yeah
Tom
[photo of a hand resting on a blanket, lit by the faint glow of a bedside lamp]
Menace
pretty hand
can you do a peace sign too?
do you know what that is?
Tom
[photo of a hand, long fingers stretched into a peace sign]
Any other childish demands for the night?
Menace
nope
i think im good
thanks <3
Tom
You’re so strange
Menace
no im not
Tom
If you say so
Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating with your friend’s family though?
Menace
:(
i am
ill go in a bit
theyre currently singing and stuff
i think its one of those songs youre supposed to know by heart if youre family
feels like home
just not mine exactly
but its nice
listening to everyone is nice
and i just wanted to wish you a happy new year
is that a crime?
Tom
It’s not
Thank you
You always care about these social niceties
It’s rather thoughtful
Menace
wow
playing nice i see
this is a good sign
then ill keep doing it every year ;)
Tom
If you say so
Menace
i really do
ugh
i need to go now
they set up the dinner table and everything
shit
did i just sound like a huge prat?
i must be insane
im actually really grateful
mrs weasley even made treacle tart for me
Tom
You did not
Don’t overthink it
Go and enjoy, alright?
Menace
i will
ill probably text you later
but dont wait for me yeah?
go to sleep when you want to
youre probably tired
Tom
Don’t worry
Just have fun
Menace
<3
Menace
look at this
[photo of a plate of treacle tart on a crowded table]
also ths
[photo of a half-full glass of something amber-colored]
omg youd ahte this
i also dont really like it
its a bit strong
Tom
Are you drunk?
Menace
noooo
i had like one glass
and a half
its just rly strong
but its traditinn
Tom
You're not really good with alcohol though
At least you’re surrounded by people you trust, I assume
Menace
yppp
safe and sound
but still
i think im goin to bed
dont wnna make a fool of myself
Tom
Alright
That's a good idea
Text me when you’re back in bed then
Menace
oh mygod
it takes lke 1 min
ill survive
Tom
Alright
That’s good then
Menace
nvm…
i fogot
its on the 5th floor
might not make it
Tom
Can you ask your friend for help?
Menace
no
hs busy
i can manage
i like to complain
but im not a chilf
Tom
Didn't say you were
Just go slowly
And put your phone away first
Menace
iknoww
see you in abir
Tom
Just take it easy
Don't hurry
And let me know
Menace
m good
back in bed
had to crawl a bit thp
10/10 heroic effort all consifering
Tom
I’m sure
Get some rest now
Let's talk tomorrow
Menace
yea
but
uknow
ure still the birthday boy
to me
even if its a new day and all
dosnt matter
Tom
I can imagine
But that title has expired
Menace
nop
shut up
birthday boy
lets spens ur birthday together this year yea?
and new years
obviusly
Tom
Alright
We can do that
Menace
nd ill give you a smooch at midnight
if u cant find anyone else
cause im generous like thay
Tom
Just stop talking
You're drunk
Menace
im not
Tom
Sure
Just go to sleep
Menace
br honest
would you kiss me back
or wait
is that actually a qeird question
idk
maube
Tom
I think it's better if you went to sleep now
You'll most likely regret saying these things in the morning
Menace
no i wot
maybe you just jate talking to me
Tom
No
I don't
Obviously
Menace
good
caue i like talking to u
alottt
i just wish you were here rn
Tom
Me too
Menace
but u dnt wanna kiss me
Tom
I didn't say that
I just said that you should sleep
Delaying it doesn't do you any good
Menace
fine
cause i wsnna kiss you
but m never drikning again
ever
Tom
That's a good idea
Good night then
Let me know how you're feeling in the morning
Alright?
Menace
yeah
[voice message, slurred, "Good night—love ya"]
Tom
[voice message, "I love you, too"]
Tom
Good morning, Draco
Happy new year
Malfoy
Hey Tom
Happy new year!
How are you?
How's it going over there?
Tom
I'm good
But I have a question
Malfoy
Naturally
Let me guess