Chapter Text
When Merlin walked into his room, to find Arthur sitting on his chair, in front of his mirror, looking at him with so much adoration in his eyes, the last crack was added to Merlin's bottled up emotions, and the dam broke.
"I need to tell you something." Merlin said in one quick breath. He didn't even wait for Arthur to answer before he magicked up a matching chair, sitting down opposite Arthur. "I've been trying to ignore it, trying to keep it in, but I just can't anymore. Just...promise you won't leave."
"I—I promise." Arthur said, eyes wide but still filled with adoration and something else Merlin couldn't quite name.
"Good. It really all started back when we first met, but what I didn't realize then was that it was just the beginning. Arthur, you're a royal pain in my ass, I've never pretended that you aren't, but underneath all that, you're...well, endearing, I guess. At first, I just noticed you were attra—you know what? Screw that. You remember when you asked if I'd ever been with Gwaine?"
Arthur nodded, and Merlin continued.
"...And how I'd said he's not the kind of man I'm into?"
Another nod.
"That's because you're the type of man I'm into. I thought I could keep those feelings in, but I was so wrong. Arthur, I've been in love with you for longer than I can remember, and I know you don't feel the same way, but I had to tell you. It was wrong to keep that hidden, especially now, when it's just us. I'm truly sorry that I'm putting you in this position, and if you're okay with it, I'd love to have you keep staying here, and we can pretend I never said anything about this. I just don't want to lose you again."
Arthur was silent, a stunned look on his face. He was silent for far too long, and any barely-there hope Merlin had felt flickered out as he stood.
"I'll let you think." Merlin excused himself, voice quiet and low as he left the room.