Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"...and we were thinking– Jimin? Hello, Earth to lovesick idiot!"

Jimin’s eyes flit back to Hoseok, blinking rapidly as he snaps to attention. "Yeah! Sorry, what?"

Hoseok turns around to see where Jimin's gaze-magnet is sitting today, finds said magnet a few tables away, and turns back to give Jimin a knowing look. 

Jimin smiles sheepishly.

"You're hopeless." Hoseok chuckles, throwing a stale fry at him.

"Can you blame me?" Jimin asks. His eyes involuntarily trail back to the raven haired boy sitting two rows of tables behind Hoseok.

"Seeing as you definitely have some bad boy fetish and Jeon fits that category perfectly, no, I really can't."

"I don't have a fetish! Just..." Jimin watches the older boy nibble on his lip piercing and play with a lighter—which is definitely not allowed on school property—between his fingers. The blonde is abruptly pulled under a wave of extensive attraction and sighs dreamily, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "Okay, maybe a small one."

Yoongi, sitting next to him, snorts. "Yeah, right."

"Anyway, as I was saying before, Yoongi and I were thinking of going to a party next weekend. Jin is gonna ask Namjoon. Are you in?"

"Yeah... Sure..."

Jimin's voice is very absent and Hoseok sighs when he sees that Jimin's eyes are fixated somewhere behind him again. He doesn’t know why he still tries to talk to Jimin while one particularly tattooed, stone-faced bad boy is in the same room. It is obviously impossible.

"Class starts in five. Wake up, dufus." Hoseok leans over the table to flick the blonde's forehead.

Jimin winches, sulking as he follows Hoseok and Yoongi to fourth period, third wheeling as always in his friend group consisting of two couples and himself. 

It gets kind of depressing sometimes—being single when everyone else is in love, that is—but Jimin would never ask for different friends.

"I'm not sure I'll pass this fucking test. I'm just not made for studying," Yoongi grumbles as they sit down in their usual seats by the windows, two of the chairs empty since Seokjin is at home sick and Namjoon skipped school to take care of him.

"I know, babe, but you knew, like, half of it when we studied yesterday. You'll pass," Hoseok reassures him. Yoongi just sighs, intertwining their fingers before resting his forehead on the table.

Jimin is in his own world, humming a melody that is stuck in his head and doodling in his notebook as he waits for the teacher to arrive. 

He does fairly well in school, but there are times when he zones out in class or stresses through things the night before—who doesn't? He has no idea what he wants to do after finishing school, so he isn't really that motivated to get straight A:s.

After handing in his test, Jimin whispers a quick goodbye to Hoseok and Yoongi who are both still writing before he heads to his next class, although early. On his way there, he rummages around his bag for his favorite lipgloss—a light pink, almost transparent, one that leaves his lips shiny and soft-looking. It smells and even tastes like strawberry and Jimin absolutely adores it, carries it with him wherever he goes. 

Jimin had always been more drawn to things considered more feminine. He wears tight skinny jeans and fluffy sweaters in pastel colors, and in the comfort of his own home he will wear soft, tiny shorts and at times make himself feel pretty in crop tops.

When he started at this school, he used to receive some dirty looks and a few unkind words for it. It had been around that time Jimin found his four friends; they were the only ones who reacted and tried to defend him.

Now, the pupils of the school are either used to seeing a boy wearing rather feminine clothes and lipgloss, or they just don’t care to spare him their energy anymore. Either way, Jimin is glad that he can be himself without getting harassed for it.

Jimin is the first to arrive at his music class. He puts his things on a desk in the far back corner and starts doodling to pass time. 

He purposely chose to go to a school where he could pick music as a bonus class, no matter his major. He originally wanted to major in music, but opted for communication after hearing that music majors usually end up as cashiers at fast food restaurants. 

The room slowly fills up with students and, when the teacher starts talking, Jimin's attention peaks. 

Any moment now...

"As you all know, today is all about finishing the analysis of the song you chose. It's due Friday, so– Jeongguk, please be on time."

Jimin's eyes follow Jeongguk as he strolls inside the room, nodding his head once in the teacher's direction before—rather loudly—taking a seat in the back, the opposite corner to Jimin. 

"As I was saying, the assignment is due Friday next week, and I expect you, all of you," the teacher gives Jeongguk a pointed look, "to hand it in on time. You may now get to work."

The room is filled with the sound of rustling papers, tapping on computers and chatter, but Jimin is currently somewhere else. He leans his head in his hand as he dreamily watches Jeongguk run a hand through his wavy hair before putting his earphones in and scrolling through his phone inattentively.

Jimin truly didn't know that Jeongguk would choose to take music this year, but he was beyond grateful for whatever higher power that put them in the same class.

"Hi, Jimin!"

Jimin's ogling is interrupted by a petite hand waving in front of his face, and Jimin unwillingly tears his eyes away from Jeongguk.

"Hi, Nari," Jimin greets the freshman girl that is currently moving to the seat next to him.

Nari started talking to Jimin almost immediately when the music classes started at the beginning of the semester. She is very persistent and Jimin thinks she is a little much sometimes, but tolerates her nonetheless.

"How is your assignment turning out?" Nari asks, moving her chair as close as possible to Jimin's.

"Good... I'm almost done. You?" Jimin nibbles on his lip while flickering his eyes between Nari and Jeongguk, who is conveniently sitting in his field of vision as he looks at the younger girl.

"Great! I chose..." Nari proceeds to ramble on about her essay and Jimin zones out because she talks about it every class, and the man of his dreams is currently flexing his arm.

Jimin perks up when Jeongguk gets up to talk to the teacher. The blonde haired boy's mood falls to disappointment when Jeongguk walks back to his seat to collect his stuff and proceeds to leave the room. 

With a small pout on his lips, Jimin turns his attention back to Nari, nodding along with her words.

"...and I just really think it's a meaningful song. Don’t you?"

"Yeah, sure," Jimin hums, and opens his laptop to start working. Might as well get the essay done now that he isn’t distracted anymore. Nari seems satisfied with his answer even though it wasn't that enthusiastic, and starts working, too.

The rest of the lesson is uneventful. Jimin manages to finish the assignment and sends it in early.

At the end of it all, Jimin feels content with his work but still unsatisfied with the fact that he didn't get his fix of Jeongguk. Luckily they have music twice a week, so Friday will do.

⋆˚࿔

"Jimin-ah! Have you seen my purse?"

"No, I haven't seen it!" Jimin doesn't take his eyes off the small screen of his phone as he calls back a response to his mother.

A few moments later Areum is entering his room, doing a little spin. "Honey, how do I look?"

Jimin looks up to his mother and beams. "You always look great, mom… What's the special occasion? Someone in particular that you're dressing up for?"

"I'm going on a date with that colleague… You know the one I've had my eyes on for some time now? That's okay with you, right, hun?"

Jimin nods. "Of course. Do you want me to braid your hair? You always look so beautiful with that waterfall one," he offers, standing up to comb his fingers through his mother's dark hair.

Jimin’s parents were young when Areum gave birth to him and the responsibility of having a baby was too much for his father. He left them when Jimin was a baby. Areum struggled a lot with money, but never gave up—and now here they are. They still struggle sometimes and their lives aren't perfect, but their bond is strong. They get through the rough times together.

Jimin wants nothing more than for his mother to get to experience love and to meet someone who will take care of her and not leave as soon as things get rocky. She has been on dates like this before, but none of them were good enough for a second one.

After his mother leaves, Jimin spends the rest of the night continuing to learn a dance he found recently. It is more complex than anything he has tried before but, despite the degree of difficulty, it is so beautiful that he needs to learn it.

Apart from being very capable of expressing love and affection, Jimin feels like dance is the only other thing he is truly good at. His mother was once a professional dancer and she always tells him that he dances in a totally unique way. 

He practices very hard in his room and sees it as a replacement for doing football or something like that. It keeps him in good shape and makes him happy.

After hours of dancing, tiring out his body to the max, his mother comes back home.

"Jimin, baby, it was wonderful– He was wonderful! He even brought me flowers, such a gentleman," she gushes, hugging Jimin tight and long even though the younger one is damp with sweat.

Jimin laughs happily. "Sounds like he has potential!"

Areum rambles on about the date, raving about how interesting the man was and how nice he treated her. Jimin has never seen her this giddy about a man before.

Whoever the mystery man is, Jimin hopes that he has the best intentions and that he can take good care of his mother. As long as he is in it for the long run, Jimin is happy. He is happy as long as his mother is happy.

Little does he know that it won't turn out to be quite so simple.

⋆˚࿔

"Thanks," Jeongguk mumbles as he takes the pack of cigarettes from the older man, fishing out some money from his pocket.

When the guy is gone, he passes one to Taehyung who lights it with practiced motions before doing the same for Jeongguk.

They fill their lungs with smoke before watching it disappear into the early autumn air.

"I can't wait 'til we're twenty-one,” Taehyung sighs, leaning back against the brick wall. ”Then we won't have to rely on some shady ass dude to buy this stuff for us. We'll be living the dream life." 

"We've put up with it for two years, two more won't hurt."

Taehyung scoffs. "Ever the optimist, aren't you?" He shoves at Jeongguk’s shoulder but the other doesn't budge, just sends him a crooked smile and a sarcastic wink.

"Is your dad still going out of town next weekend?" Taehyung asks right after taking another drag, voice deeper.

"If that's your way of asking if the party is still on, then yes," Jeongguk confirms, watching smoke swirl through the air.

The duo are known for throwing huge parties occasionally, mostly because anyone is invited. Even though the two of them are closed off and don't really talk to anyone, they still manage to be popular. Jeongguk supposes that others find the mystery intriguing, but so far no one has managed to enter their circle. 

The parties are just to irk Jeongguk's father, anyway. And to get laid. 

"Babe!"

Taehyung and Jeongguk look up when a familiar voice bounces off the walls in the alleyway, and soon Sooyun is latched to Taehyung, the taller boy's arm snaking around her waist as he pecks her lips quickly.

"Hey, baby bro," Sooyun then greets Jeongguk.

"Hey, demon," Jeongguk greets back and inhales one more lungful of smoke before throwing the cigarette to the ground and putting it out with the toe of his worn-out converse.

"Gimme." Sooyun reaches out for Taehyung's cigarette, but her boyfriend brings it up to his own lips, inhaling deeply. Sooyun smirks, grabbing his collar and bringing their lips together.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Hope you have a good time developing a new venereal disease,” he calls out while making his way out of the familiar alley they usually hang out in after school. Well, they go there during school as well, but nobody needs to know that.

Taehyung and Sooyun have been together for over a year, after several years of pining, sexual tension, and traps of guilt. Taehyung actually apologized multiple times for having a thing for his sister, to which Jeongguk told him to shut up every time. The heart wants what the heart wants, right? At least that’s what Jeongguk has heard.

Sooyun, on the other hand, never apologized for a thing. ’It's your fault for choosing a grade A hottie for a best friend’ she told him, and that was that. 

Granted, Jeongguk loves his sister. Anything else would be unusual. She’s sassy and a brat, and she loves to use their fifteen minute age difference to her advantage, but she is always there for him. 

The two of them didn't have the best childhood. Hence why they smoke, stay out all night, get tattoos, piercings, dye their hair—anything to make them feel like they are free to live their lives as they would like. There is a saying that goes: you don't do what your parents say, you do what they do. 

Their mother was a drug addict. She left them alone for hours, sometimes even days, to go get high. That was when the twins were just babies, not knowing any better than to just scream and cry as they starved in their crib. It got even worse when they grew a little older, developing comprehension and realizing that their mother left them alone for hours on end. 

Jeongguk would be the one to cry constantly while Sooyun always tried to take care of him, even at such a young age. 

When they were five, their father finally found out about them. Their mother had apparently run away from him when she realized that she was pregnant, not able to handle the thought of it. He called the police on her and the rest is history. 

Jeongguk's father isn't that amazing either, too clingy for Jeongguk's liking. He always wants to know what is bothering him and shit. He is never really angry either and it triggers Jeongguk. That is the main reason he does all the reckless things that he does—to get a reaction. He wants the man to snap and show his true self, because he surely can't be all soft. He has to have a limit, a trigger that Jeongguk can pull. He just hasn't found it yet.

"Wah, are you in a bad gang?"

Jeongguk looks down at the little boy who's blocking his path and huffs out a laugh. He crouches down to face-level with the boy, maybe six years old, and does his best impression of a serial killer.

"How did you know? I might have to make you a hostage now," he says lowly.

The boy gasps, eyes wide. "You are! I knew it because dad says they have tattoos all over and-and piercings and dark clothes… Mom! I found a bad killer guy!" 

Jeongguk watches as the boy runs over to a woman trying to get a smaller kid to leave a car and tries to tug her in the direction of Jeongguk while pointing at him eagerly.

The woman sends him a sharp glare and Jeongguk just sends a large grin back before straightening up and continuing his walk home.

He is aware how his appearance might come across. It doesn't really bother him. He chose to look like this for a reason. 

The stereotypes aren't entirely wrong, anyway. He is not the most feeling person at first, maybe not even after getting to know him. He likes his space—to have his own thoughts and to keep them to himself. He doesn't care much about many things, just Taehyung and his family. He couldn't care less about school or about what other people think of him.

Just as Jeongguk walks down the sidewalk in front of his house, his father's car comes to a stop in their driveway. 

"Jeongguk-ah! Be a good son and help me with these," Hyunwoo calls out while opening the trunk, grabbing two bags of groceries and leaving the other two for Jeongguk.

Jeongguk does as told, carrying the food inside the house.

It's nothing too fancy, his family’s house. Not small, but not big either, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen and living room. Jeongguk is just glad to get the basement and one of the bathrooms to himself. 

"How was school?" Hyunwoo asks as he loads the fridge with food.

Jeongguk grabs an apple from one of the bags, taking a bite while making his way out of the kitchen.

"The usual. Uneventful and unnecessary," he announces, speeding up to reach the basement before his father starts to tell him about the value of education and socialization.

As soon as he has flinged the door shut behind him, he connects his phone to the soundsystem. 

If there is one thing he does care about, other than the people closest to him, it's music. Jeongguk doesn't think he could have endured one day without his earphones in, blasting familiar tunes to numb his brain. It's like therapy for him—he expresses himself through other people's lyrics and it helps him through life. He has attempted to write his own songs, but his incapacity of openly expressing emotions gets in the way, as well as his impatience. 

By dinnertime, Jeongguk has had time to practice playing the guitar, gone on his daily run and bickered with Sooyun about the basement. The usual.

"It's my turn! I'll move in with Tae if you won't be fair," Sooyun threatens, walking behind Jeongguk into the kitchen.

Jeongguk snorts at the empty threat. "Tae has zero room for anyone and you know it. I need the basement more than you. I'm a growing man and I need my space."

"Man, my ass. What about me? We're the same age, dumbass, and I'm the only girl in the house. I should be having my own bathroom if anyone is!"

"Enough fighting," Hyunwoo cuts in. "Sooyun, you know that Jeongguk gets the basement because he's up all night making noise. I wouldn't be able to sleep if he had your room or the room upstairs. The basement is the only area that's soundproof."

Sooyun sends Jeongguk a glare and Jeongguk sticks his tongue out at her before they stop to stare at their father, all dressed up and stressing around the kitchen to put the food on the table. 

They look at each other again, matching confused expressions.

"I won't be eating with you guys today. I have a date, so you'll have to try not to kill each other for the rest of the night," Hyunwoo says, puffing out a breath when he had finished setting everything up for them.

"A what?" Sooyun asks, letting out a baffled laugh.

"A date with one of my colleagues," Hyunwoo repeats, hastily hugging both of his children before moving towards the door. The twins follow him.

"So, what? You're suddenly gonna get us a stepmonster now?" Sooyun continues, still in disbelief.

"It's just a date, and she is a lovely woman so don't bring in the monster until you've met her. I'll be back in a few hours. Love you," Hyunwoo hastily explains before disappearing out the door.

Sooyun turns to Jeongguk dramatically. "Until we meet her? We're gonna meet her? Is he shitting me? I don't need some old lady coming in here thinking she's my mother! The horror, Gguk! The horror!"

Jeongguk peels his sister's hands off of his collar, unamused.

"It's just one date, chill. It's not like they are gonna get married. The date could suck and we'd never hear about it again," Jeongguk reasons, going back to the kitchen to stuff his face with food, tired after his run.

Sooyun purses her lips, making her snake bites move weirdly, following him to the table.

"Fine, but what if he comes home all happy and in love?" Sooyun grumbles. She puts her dark blue hair up in a loose ponytail before putting food onto her plate aggressively.

"Then we may be getting a stepmonster, yeah," Jeongguk says through a mouthful of food.

His sister groans. "And then we can say goodbye to living our lives in peace."

Jeongguk frowns, not liking the sound of that.

"Let's just hope she's not his type or something," he mutters.

Turns out they hoped in vain, because four hours later Hyunwoo comes home all giddy and rambles on and on about the date. Meanwhile the two twins exchange horrified looks and wonder if their entire lives will be turned upside down now.

⋆˚࿔

A week later, Jimin's mother is planning on bringing home the man she has been seeing and Jimin is so happy for her. She has been in a much brighter mood ever since the first date. In just one week, they have been on three more dates. They don't seem to be able to stay away from each other. 

Jimin thinks it's cute. He would very much like that for himself. Too bad he is crushing on an older straight guy way out of his league.

He has had boyfriends before. Closeted ones. It was fun for a while, but being someone's secret tends to be quite harsh on your self esteem.

Jeongguk is different from them. Jeongguk is unattainable. Not only is he straight, but also a complete mystery. He’s all tattoos and cigarettes, cold eyes and hard muscles. 

Jimin is the exact opposite. He has never even marked his skin with a sharpie and he loves scented lipgloss, he can't go a day without being hugged and his body is kind of soft even with all the muscle the dancing gets him.

Even though Jeongguk is a stark contrast to him, Jimin is ridiculously attracted to him. He's smitten, even. In love, maybe.

⋆˚࿔

"I told you you’d pass, babe." Hoseok grins when he sees Yoongi's grade on last week’s psychology test at the end of class.

"Do you think he forgot that we didn't take it?" Seokjin whispers hopefully.

"Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon and Yung Daehyun, you will get a different test next week since you were absent last Wednesday," the teacher calls out as if he has super-hearing and wants to immediately put out Seokjin's spark of hope.

Seokjin sulks and Namjoon puts an arm around him, silently comforting.

"It'll surely be harder out of spite," Namjoon sighs, moving his hand to play with the hair at the back of his boyfriend's head, something only he is allowed to do without getting scolded.

The teacher wraps the lesson up, and Jimin looks forward to music. Because he submitted his essay early, he got to start the next assignment early, too. It's supposed to be a group project, but Mrs. Yong figured that Jimin would do just fine on his own, an assumption that Jimin hopes is a positive thing.

When he gets there, however, any thoughts of positivity are out the opened window next to him, because Jeongguk doesn't show up. Not even as their teacher tells them to start working and nowhere to be seen as half of the period passes by.

Jimin is stuck with Nari rambling about how her parents are buying her a car for her eighteenth birthday, and no distraction but the assignment he has barely started with.

"Which color would you pick? I can't choose!" Nari exclaims like it's the end of the world.

He looks at the options she shows him on her phone and gives a half-hearted smile along with his similarly put answer. "I like the light blue one."

Nari's face lights up in a beam. "I like that one, too! It's so pretty, right?"

Jimin nods and sighs as Mrs. Yong starts talking about how the essay Jimin submitted last week should be done this Friday. He has barely touched the new assignment, not feeling any motivation to choose a song to cover when Nari doesn't stop talking and Jeongguk is gone.

As the teacher is wrapping up, Nari decides that it's a good time to whisper to Jimin.

"Jimin oppa, I wanted to ask if you're free this–"

Nari is cut off as Jimin's head snaps away from her, hearing the teacher call his name.

"Park Jimin, can you stay behind for a minute? I'll see the rest of you next week."

Jimin feels his blood run a tad bit colder, never liking the sound of that. Not that it happens often enough for him to be used to the feeling. He walks over to where she is sitting by her desk and looks at her nervously.

"Yes, Mrs. Yong?" Jimin asks politely as the rest of the class leaves the room.

"I'm not going to scold you or anything, so you can relax," she says, her eyes showing slight amusement. "I was just thinking... Since you turned in the last assignment early, and it looks really good, I was wondering..."

Jimin tenses again as she hesitates with a thoughtful crease between her brows, and wonders what he has gotten himself into by just turning an assignment in early for once.

"I was wondering if you could be so kind and help another student out? Jeon Jeongguk, he's...struggling. I think you would have a good influence on him."

Jimin does a double take, blinking repeatedly as he tries to comprehend what his teacher just asked of him.

"I'm thinking that I could pair you two up for the next assignment. I know I said that you could do it by yourself, but I really want all of my students to pass this class. Jeongguk-ssi has been absent a lot and he's on the verge of failing. It would have a positive effect on your grade, of course, and I would be the one to inform Jeongguk about it all," she adds, probably after seeing Jimin's flabbergasted expression.

"I-I..." 

Jimin doesn't know what to say, not really believing what he's hearing—doesn't want to believe it, anyway.

When submitting an essay in good time, he did not wish for this to happen. Where is the good karma? Jeongguk is failing and his teacher thinks Jimin could change that? This is an assignment that needs time outside of school. Does she expect Jimin to be alone with Jeongguk? He would probably just stutter out incoherent words and then faint. And he wouldn't be much of a help unconscious, now would he?

"Please?" Mrs. Yong practically begs and Jimin looks at her with big eyes, a long row of swear words repeating themselves in his head.

"I-... S-sure..."

Jimin cringes and mentally facepalms.

"Oh, thank you so much, Jimin-ssi! I'll make sure Jeongguk knows by next Wednesday, when I introduce the assignment to the rest of the class. I think he'll be really thankful for your cooperation." Mrs. Yong smiles gratefully.

Jimin feels like sinking through the floor—because he really doubts that—and he can't believe what he just got himself into.

"Y-yeah, I have to go... Um, I have to go now," Jimin stutters, already out the door when his teacher calls out a goodbye.

Jimin finds Hoseok by the exit, wearing his dance clothes from his own individual choice of subject. This was their last period of the day and Jimin wants to cry when he crashes into Hoseok's chest, grabbing at his shirt as the other yelps in surprise.

"Woah, Jiminie. What's up?" Hoseok questions, grabbing Jimin's shoulders to examine his pained expression.

"My life is over," Jimin whines, closing his eyes with a defeated pout.

"What did you do?" Hoseok asks, and Jimin frowns at the amusement in his voice, opening his eyes to glare at him.

"It's not funny. My music teacher has given me my death date. It's in a week, so you better hurry getting a hold of someone amazing to sing at my funeral." Jimin sighs dramatically, and Hoseok snorts.

"Did she catch you writing nasty things about Jeongguk and expose you in front of him?" Hoseok's eyes gleam with amusement now, eager to know what happened.

"No!" Jimin splutters, then he pouts again in sadness. "Jeongguk wasn't even there."

"Awe, baby Jiminie missed out on his precious stalking time," Hoseok coos, squishing Jimin's cheeks.

Jimin huffs, swatting his friend's hands away. "You're so mean," he whines, and Hoseok cackles.

"Okay, sorry. Tell me, please."

Jimin sulks. Hoseok chuckles and moves close to hug him from behind, making Jimin sigh.

"I have to pair up with Jeongguk for an assignment," he says quietly, squeezing his eyes shut at the reality of the words.

"Really?! That's amazing, Minie! This is your chance to charm him with your sexiness–" Hoseok starts loudly, and Jimin has to turn around and cover his mouth with his hand for him to shut up.

He meets the eyes of a girl walking by and smiles at her awkwardly before glaring at Hoseok.

"Could you say that a little louder? I don't think the biology majors heard you," Jimin hisses as Hoseok laughs behind his palm.

"It's true, though!"

"It's not! He's straight and I'm pretty sure I will pass out if he so much as looks at me," Jimin says seriously.

"Oh, come on! It's not like you haven't turned on any hets before. If anyone can bend Jeongguk's straight line, it's you," Hoseok encourages, ruffling Jimin's already messy hair from the shorter one running his hands through it out of stress.

"You're not hearing me. I don't have the upper hand here, he does. He's so fucking hot, Hobi! I think I'll die if he's close enough." 

Hoseok purses his lips, making two shallow dimples appear. "He's just a person, Jimin-ah. It sounds like you're talking about some god."

Jimin whines. "He kind of is, though! I'll be too nervous to even talk. Forget about charming him."

Hoseok shakes his head with a sigh. "Shame. I swear you would be the hottest couple. Maybe even hotter than me and Yoongi, and that's saying a lot," he points out, a teasing smile on his face when Jimin whines even more.

"Where is Yoongi?" Jimin asks instead, changing the subject, now willing to accept that he will be dead in a week.

But he continues to sulk all the way home, almost forgetting that he is supposed to meet his mother's new boyfriend. It lifts his mood slightly, especially when he sees an extra car parked in front of his house when he arrives. He guesses that his mother and the man, whose name is Hyunwoo from what Jimin has gathered after all the ranting his mother does, have similar schedules at work.

"I’m home," Jimin calls out as usual when he steps inside, and he smiles when he hears his mothers laughter.

"Jimin-ah! Come here, baby," Areum calls back from the living room and Jimin toes off his shoes.

Hyunwoo stands up immediately as Jimin comes into sight, a big smile on his face. He is tall, taller than Namjoon, and his mother looks so tiny next to him Jimin wants to coo.

"Jimin, I'm Hyunwoo. It's so nice to finally meet you, Areum talks about you all the time," Hyunwoo greets him, voice strong but gentle.

Jimin shakes the older man's hand, flashing a beaming smile. "And with me she doesn't stop talking about you."

His mother blushes lightly when Hyunwoo turns to grin at her. Jimin giggles.

"You are both important to me, of course I'll brag..."

Hyunwoo smiles. "I'm no better, to be honest."

"You have children?" Jimin questions curiously.

"Oh, yes! I forgot to mention that to you yesterday after Hyunwoo had told me. He has two children around your age! Isn't that exciting?" Jimin's mother gushes, and Jimin catches the look of adoration in Hyunwoo's eyes when he looks at her. It makes him smile.

"Really?" 

"Yes, I hope that you all could meet in the near future. They may look a bit intimidating at first, but I swear that they are good kids," Hyunwoo explains sincerely.

Jimin smiles. "I'm sure they are, you seem like a good parent. I'm looking forward to meeting them," he says, knowing that he will be meeting them if Hyunwoo is serious about his mother, and he needs him to be.

Then they are off to cook food together, a great bonding time according to Jimin.

The names of Hyunwoo's children don't come up until they have eaten dinner and Hyunwoo is about to leave.

"You're a lovely boy, Jimin. I honestly didn't expect you to be this welcoming towards me. I think your mother will have a harder time with Sooyun and Jeongguk. They tend to have a hard time letting new people into their lives, especially my son," Hyunwoo mentions while shrugging on his jacket.

The new information is like a slap to Jimin’s face.

"Did-did you say Jeongguk? Jeon Jeongguk?" Jimin stutters out, eyes wide before he can control his expression.

Hyunwoo's eyes snap to him with a look of both shock and curiosity.

"Yes. Do you know him already?"

"I…" Jimin shakes his head to try to snap out of the trance. "No, I just... We go to the same school."

"Ah, I see. I'm guessing you don’t hang out in the same circles, from how different you are." Hyunwoo smiles gently.

"Not exactly, no." Jimin chuckles awkwardly.

"Well, I'm sure you'd get along just fine. Jeongguk is often misunderstood from the way he looks and acts, but he's really not all of that," Hyunwoo attempts to defend his son. "He has a certain logic about trust, but once he softens up he's there to stay."

Jimin is too uncomfortable for this conversation, so he just nods with a small, "Okay", and Hyunwoo doesn't push it.

"I'm gonna go, let you guys... Yeah." Jimin waves hastily before gradually starting to walk faster once he has reached the stairs.

He instantly calls the groupchat. Panicking in his lonesome is going to drive him mad in seconds.

"What's up? I was this close to getting head just now, so I hope it's important." Seokjin measures a small space between his thumb and index on the screen and Jimin rolls his eyes.

"That's not true, for everyone's information," Namjoon announces from somewhere in the background.

"Sure it is, Joon-ah. You're too whipped to say no," Yoongi scoffs.

Hoseok enters a little late. "Hey, what're we talking about?"

"Yeah, what should we be talking about? I'm sure we're not here to discuss if I'm willing to suck Jinnie's dick or not," Namjoon mumbles. "Jimin-ah? Why'd you call?"

"Probably to rant about the assignment he got paired up with Jeongguk on," Hoseok teases, and Seokjin gasps.

"What?! Oh my gosh, Jiminie, please seduce him with your–"

"Why does everyone keep telling me to seduce him? I've got a bigger problem now, anyway," Jimin huffs.

"A bigger problem than being dead in a week?" Yoongi sceptically asks.

"What happened this time?" Hoseok sing-songs, amused.

"My mom is dating Jeongguk's dad," Jimin almost whispers, not knowing if he's ready to acknowledge this just yet, or ever.

"Wow," Yoongi whistles, "that's harsh."

"Don't worry, Jiminie! You're not related. If your mom decides to marry him, you still have a chance with Jeongguk," Seokjin assures.

"That's not it! I don't have a chance with him, period. But that's not why I'm in a crisis here. Do you know what this means? I'm going to have to talk to Jeongguk, and his whole family! Do you understand how horrible this is? I feel like I'll be intruding in his holy, personal space."

"Like I said before, he's not a god. You're a social butterfly, Jimin-ah, it'll be fine," Hoseok reassures him.

"Yeah, there is nothing about you that’s not to love, except your unhealthy obsession with romcoms, so there is really nothing to worry about," Seokjin adds.

"And as much as you're intruding on his life, he is intruding on yours," Namjoon points out.

"I guess... Thanks guys. Ugh, I don't get why fate suddenly is so against me, shoving Jeongguk into my life from all directions. I swear it wants me dead," Jimin groans.

"Or fate's bringing you together because you're meant to be." Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ugh, bye," Jimin huffs, ending the call, and he can basically hear his friends saying how ungrateful he is of their amazing advice.

He sends a text saying thanks again, just in case, because he really does feel a little calmer.

His mother comes into his room a few minutes later, a searching smile on her face.

"So? What do you think?" she asks, and Jimin knows that his opinion is everything. He could never ruin her happiness just because he has a hopeless crush.

"He's really nice, mom. I like him. I like that he cares about you." Jimin smiles in response to his mother's beam.

"I really, really like him, Jimin-ah. I think it’s getting serious and I'm not against the thought of that." 

"I'm happy for you."

And Jimin really is. He wants for his mother to be the happiest there is, and never stop.

He'll just have to get over his stupid crush and try to look at Jeongguk like he's a normal person and not a walking wet dream.

Sounds easy, right?

⋆˚࿔

Jimin's is already a bit buzzed when he and his four friends hop out of Seokjin's car and head up the crowded front yard.

They all got ready together at Hoseok's house where they pre-gamed with the alcohol they always manage to get their hands on one way or the other. They have never been ones to scrimp when it comes to alcohol and partying. 

Funnily enough, they are all different kinds of drunks.

Hoseok is the happy drunk; a pest to handle when you're sober yourself, but the life of the party to other wasted people. Yoongi is a mix between the secret drunk and the DJ drunk; he seems to be the exact same after numerous shots and always manages to change the music if it doesn't suit his taste. Namjoon is the philosophical drunk; it's as if a whole new world opens up in his brain and he starts discussing the weirdest things with whoever is willing to listen. Seokjin is the sentimental drunk; either he goes on and on about how much he loves the people he's with or he cries for the smallest things—or both.

Jimin is a mix between the affectionate drunk and the blackout drunk. He normally is very affectionate, yes, and maybe that is why it gets a hundred times enhanced when he is drunk. It’s not really a good thing. He lets his guard down to complete strangers and it has almost gotten out of hand a few times, but his friends are never too far away to stop him from doing anything stupid. He also tends to black out after a long night of partying and, more often than not, he can't remember all that much of his drunk adventures when he wakes up the morning after.

Tonight is going to be one of those nights, he can tell.

When they get inside, the place is packed with warm bodies and it smells of sweat, smoke and an overwhelming amount of different perfumes. The music is loud, and Jimin can feel the booming bass numbing his mind already. He instantly wants to just dance the night away and, considering the fact that his friends are probably going to go make out somewhere, that's exactly what he's going to do.

He feels pretty in his black skinny jeans and new, slightly cropped, blouse. Maybe he will manage to draw the attention of some guy who is drunk enough to be at least bi-curious. It happens surprisingly often and, even though most of those guys are inexperienced and just a little bit too horny, it keeps him satisfied.

Some obnoxious house song starts playing, and Jimin knows that Yoongi is on his way to the rescue.

Soon enough the music changes to a more sensual beat, and the whole mood of the room turns around. Jimin smiles in contentment, loving the way people all around him start to match the music with their body language. Jimin's favorite party dancing is the slower, sexy kind.

He moves through the crowd toward the middle. Then he lets himself get lost in the beat. He sways his hips and raises the hand holding his drink to move his entire body in a way he knows is attractive. He loves just feeling good in his own skin like this, eyes closed to concentrate on everything and nothing in particular.

While Jimin is having the time of his life on Jeongguk's living room floor, the latter is busy trying to kick two guys out for trying to sell drugs to the people inside and even attempting to spike drinks. 

Jeongguk caught them putting a pill in an oblivious girl's glass, and to say he's pissed would be an understatement. Sure, he has taken a pill himself once or twice, but selling them at his party without permission and fucking drugging people? That won't do.

After pouring the spiked drink out, earning complaints from the girl which he ignored, Jeongguk tries to ask nicely.

"Get out."

The two guys, looking like sophomores, just smirk at him with unfocused glares, obviously high.

"And why should we listen to you?" the taller of them slurs.

"Because this is my house and I'm telling you to get the fuck out," Jeongguk spits, gaze dark as he tries to keep his temper at bay. It's really hard when he has no idea how long these airheads have been here and how many other drinks they have managed to get their grubby hands on.

"Or what? You gonna call mommy?" the tall one continues, taunting, and Jeongguk's almost completely certain that he would never dare to say anything to him if he wasn't so stoned.

Nevertheless, Jeongguk has enough of that. He is not dumb enough to think that he'll be able to kick them out with violence himself. That's two against one and, even though he’s bigger and probably older, Jeongguk isn't the hulk.

So, he turns on his heel and hears the two of them snicker and call him a pussy, but Jeongguk has never been one to give a shit about what anyone says about him when they themselves have no value to him.

"Ugh, gross." Jeongguk gags as he finds Taehyung pressing his sister to a wall, furiously making out.

Jeongguk, rather rudely, separates them and drags Taehyung with him.

"Hey! What the fuck, Gguk, I was gonna get my dick wet," Taehyung whines, trying to get out of Jeongguk's grip.

Jeongguk sends him a disgusted look. "If you ever say that again, I'll tell Sooyun that you have a master kink. And it's not like you don't have sex like every day already."

Taehyung gasps. "You wouldn't- I don't- The fuck I do! That was just a misunderstanding..." he mumbles out the last part, and Jeongguk just rolls his eyes.

"Whatever, you have to help me kick two guys out. They're spiking drinks," Jeongguk says, and Taehyung is following him willingly by now, cracking his knuckles.

"Finally, I haven't gotten to kick a fucker's ass in too long," he says, trying to sound like a badass, and Jeongguk scoffs.

"You cried the last time you punched someone," he deadpans, nearing the place where he left the two idiots.

"That was just because it turned out he didn't deserve it." Taehyung defends himself.

Jeongguk ignores him, groaning in frustration when he can’t see any of the two dimwits anywhere near the spot where he left them.

"Fuck, they're gone. This place is packed, they could be anywhere," Jeongguk grumbles, beyond annoyed.

"Hey, we'll find them. Just tell me what to look for."

And then the two best friends are off to search the house for two intruders who are most likely up to no good at all right now.

Meanwhile, Jimin has found someone who he could potentially spend his night with. The boy is kind of his type. Tall, pretty broad, a little troublemaker-looking. No Jeongguk, but close enough. 

He looks a bit familiar, and Jimin assumes that he has seen him around at school, maybe even in some of his classes. Everything is a bit blurry though, and Jimin couldn't care much less.

"What's your name?" the guy asks into Jimin's ear, hands gripping his hips tightly as they move together.

"Jimin."

Jimin looks up at him through his lashes as he takes a sip of his drink, and the taller boy smiles smugly.

"Mine's Daehyun. You'll need it for later."

Jimin lets out a small huff. "Cocky," he comments, but nevertheless spins around to grind back on the guy, his free hand to hooking around the back of the other’s neck.

"You're really sexy, Jimin. Always has been," Daehyun slurs, and Jimin doesn't ponder on his words since the other is clearly wasted and has no idea what he's saying.

Instead of answering, Jimin just dances. It's what he knows best and it never fails him. Daehyun is easy to rile up, soon out of breath and grunting in his ear. Jimin hums along to the song as he drags Daehyun to a free couch, downing the rest of his drink before setting the solo cup down on the table. He pushes the taller down on the couch and straddles him, hastily smashing their lips together.

Daehyun is a messy kisser, his tongue licking into Jimin's mouth eagerly, teeth clashing in the meantime and Jimin's lipgloss gets smeared everywhere.

Jimin feels lightheaded when Daehyun switches their position around. They kiss messily for a long time, Jimin's arms lazily wrapped around the taller's neck.

When Daehyun moves his lips down to his jaw, and down his neck, Jimin knows that something isn't quite right. His vision is too blurry when he opens his eyes and his body feels too numb. Alcohol makes him a little lost, yeah, but not like this.

"Wait, I-" Jimin tires, but Daehyun shushes him, going to scoop Jimin up from the couch and most likely find a private room, but he doesn't.

Jimin can't tell what's happening anymore. His vision turns black and he's out like a light before he knows it.

⋆˚࿔

If Jeongguk wasn't pissed before, he sure is now.

Him and Taehyung already took care of the shorter guy, who, unsurprisingly, turned out to be a coward when his friend wasn't there to speak for him and just ran off as soon as he saw the two of them approach him.

It was a disappointment, really. Jeongguk would have gladly put some sense into him with a hit or two. Taehyung as well, who swears that he didn't cry that one time.

So, when Jeongguk finds the other one about to take a barely conscious boy into his arms, definitely not with any kind of good intentions, Jeongguk's blood boils.

He grabs the back of the guy's neck, digging his fingers into the skin until the other is whimpering before pushing his head down and drags him away like that, forcing him to walk alongside him with his head pushed down roughly.

"Stay with him," Jeongguk growls to Taehyung, nodding towards the boy on the couch, and Taehyung looks ready to protest, but stays nonetheless.

When finally outside, Jeongguk lets go of the guy.

"You're dumber than I thought," Jeongguk snaps while the dude gains his balance, getting in his face as he continues. "Not only spiking drinks, but a fucking rapist as well? Disgusting."

The other pushes Jeongguk back. Jeongguk laughs out loud at how weak the push is, and then he punches him in the face.

The guy stumbles back with the force of it, leaving his lip busted. Jeongguk grabs his collar before he falls on his ass to at least leave a black eye. It's the least he could do for him.

The guy is nicely beaten up when Jeongguk is satisfied. Not enough for him to be unable to stand, but enough to get the hint to stay away from him and his parties from now on. He landed a few hits on Jeongguk as well, but barely enough to leave a bruise.

"Please tell me you kicked his ass," Taehyung groans when Jeongguk comes back, looking like he's itching to get some damage in on the guy as well.

"Yeah, well, I beat him up," Jeongguk mutters, slightly out of breath from the effort.

"Shit, I've never wanted to hurt someone this much in my life! Who the fuck even does this?" Taehyung growls in frustration, gesturing to the passed out guy on the couch. Taehyung is sitting on the floor right next to him, keeping any other creeps away.

Jeongguk just grunts, quickly looking away from the boy after following Taehyung's gaze.

"What should we do with him?" Taehyung then asks, looking at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk shrugs. "I don't know, do you think he came here alone?"

Taehyung looks back at the boy again, studying him. "I don't know, but I think I recognize him from school... Isn't he friends with that gay couple? You know, the small emo guy and the one that danced at the last talent show the school forces the art programs to do at the end of the semester," Taehyung questions after a moment of pondering.

Jeongguk squints his eyes at his best friend. "Are you a stalker or something?"

Taehyung scoffs. "Not everyone is like you, and don't give a shit about the people around them."

Jeongguk shrugs after a moment of silence. Taehyung has a valid point.

"Well, should we–"

Then, a tall guy tackles Taehyung aside, making the latter let out a startled grunt before sitting up to fight, only to see the broad boy hovering over the one on the couch, cupping his face and moving it from side to side to examine him.

"Oh my god, Jiminie? Wake up! Oh god, is he dead? No, this can't be happening, I-I was gone for half an hour! I'm so sorry, please wake up!"

Taehyung and Jeongguk watch with big eyes as the stranger bursts out crying loudly.

"Jin, baby, it's okay, come here. There is surely a logical explanation, like there is to everything. Or is there an explanation to everything? Why is the sky blue? Why does Italy look like a boot kicking a ball? Why are most human beings dumb? Maybe there isn’t a–"

Taehyung and Jeongguk continue to watch in stunned silence as three more people come over to the couch, one of them pulling the crying one into his arms and the other two look to be the ones Taehyung described earlier.

"God, shut up. Why am I friends with any of you?" the emo guy grumbles to cut the tallest one off, taking it upon himself to actually check if the unconscious boy is alive or not.

The last one, the dancer, just looks between the passed out boy and Jeongguk with a large, white grin, making Jeongguk shift uncomfortably.

"What the fuck happened?" the shorter one asks, looking at Taehyung who is still half-laying on the floor from being pushed aside.

Taehyung blinks in bewilderment, clearing his throat. "Uh, he was drugged by some guy who tried to take advantage of him."

The crying gets louder and the smile on the dancer's face vanishes with a shocked, "What?!"

The shorter one stands, dark eyes boring into Taehyung. Jeongguk gets ready to intervene, because it looks like he might jump him.

Instead he growls, "Who is he? I'll fucking kill him."

Taehyung shakes his head, pointing a thumb in Jeongguk's direction quickly. "Gguk took care of it."

The guy’s eyes find him, getting even more intense and soon all eyes are on him. Jeongguk keeps his face blank, though.

"Did he get what he deserved? If there is anyone that doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, it's Jimin," the dancer says calmly. His eyes are not as murderous as, from what Taehyung said, his boyfriend's.

Jeongguk gives a short nod. "I beat him up."

The smile is back on the dancer's face just like that and his boyfriend's attention turns back to the unconscious boy again.

"We can't take him home like this," the shorter man with a hot temper says, looking up at his friends.

"W-well, we can't just le-leave him!" The crying one sniffles, slowly calming down.

"Sure we can! These guys seem really reliable, don't they? Is this your house?" the dancer exclaims happily, and his boyfriend sends him a warning look, earning a pointed look back.

Taehyung just points to Jeongguk again.

"You wouldn't mind him staying the night, would you? His mother would freak out and never let him leave the house again if she knew about this," the dancer continues, a mischievous glint to his eyes.

"Actually I think Ms. Park would–"

"She would ground him! Forever!" the dancer cuts the tallest one off, sending him an annoyed look.

"Well, a lot of people stay until morning anyway, so I guess–"

"Great! Thanks so much, guys! I'm Hoseok, by the way. The passed out cutie is Jimin and then Yoongi, Namjoon and Seokjin," the dancer, Hoseok, introduces them all by pointing.

"Taehyung," Taehyung greets, still looking overwhelmed by the whole interaction.

"Jeongguk," Jeongguk mumbles.

"It's nice to meet you! We'll go now," Hoseok announces. His voice is louder than any Jeongguk has heard before, like his throat has a built-in speaker. It's odd.

The crying one, Seokjin, protests. "Are you sure we should leave him? He's our baby, what if anything happens? It'll be all our fault and I-I–" He chokes up again and the tallest, Namjoon, pulls him into another hug.

"It's okay. I'll stay with him, yeah?" Taehyung offers, and Seokjin looks at him, indecisive and sad.

"Promise?"

Taehyung flashes a boxy smile. "I promise. He's safe with me."

Jeongguk scoffs and Taehyung sends him a glare.

"Okay... I guess it's okay then..." Seokjin says, moving to kneel down next to Jimin again, kissing his forehead. "Goodbye, Jiminie. I hope you're dreaming sweet dreams."

Hoseok says a much happier goodbye, a wet kiss on the cheek along with a, "You owe me."

"If anything happens, you're dead," Yoongi threatens, looking between Taehyung and Jeongguk, calmly this time, but it's still as intense.

Taehyung just nods while Jeongguk rolls his eyes, earning a sharp glare from Yoongi.

Then, the four boys are on their way out, along with several other people, since it's nearing two o'clock in the morning. Many people are still around, though, and Jeongguk pats Taehyung's back.

"So much for getting laid, huh?" he teases, before getting up to leave.

"Hey! Are you just gonna leave me here?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "I didn't promise them anything. You did. That means I'm getting laid, and you're not."

Taehyung whines, slumping down on the floor again.

Jeongguk chuckles, turning to find a girl who can help him relieve some tension.

Soon enough, he has a petite girl wrapped around his finger, a little too short for his taste and she smells of an obnoxiously strong perfume, but the way she smiles and moves make her seem sweet enough.

Sex, Jeongguk knows.

He knows exactly what to do to have girls begging for more, knows exactly how to move, where to touch.

More importantly, he knows how to do it without feeling anything but the pure need to get off. 

Feelings are a whole other thing. Feelings are complicated and they always end up hurting. Jeongguk doesn't do feelings. It's when you let new people in that you get hurt in the end. Trust the wrong person, and it's going to bite you in the ass sooner or later. That's just how Jeongguk lives.

He doesn't want feelings. Doesn't need them. They should stay the fuck away.

Chapter Text

The next time Jimin opens his eyes, he can’t. Because bright light is filtering in through the windows of an unfamiliar room and he physically can’t open his eyes.

He groans at the ache in his head and tries to wave away whatever woke him up, only then noticing that he awoke because of someone nudging him.

His eyes slowly adjust and his hazy vision settles on a dark frame above him. He can kind of make out the features of someone very similar to his crush.

With a small, sleepy smile he mumbles out a, "Hi," and then he's suddenly on his feet, the room spinning as the person moves him around carelessly.

Jimin scrunches his face up, blinking to try to comprehend the situation. When the room just continues to spin as well as his head, he just lets it fall forward into the person’s chest, proceeding to throw up their shirt.

The room fills with a booming, "What the fuck?!" and then hysterical laughter.

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut at the loud sound, his body giving out, and he slumps back on the couch to try and rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"Fucking amazing!" the laughing voice hollers, and Jimin winches.

"Shut the fuck up, Tae. You get him out," the angry voice grumbles, and Jimin hears footsteps disappearing.

When Jimin manages to see without the world being that much of a blur, he is face to face with Jeongguk's best friend. He still feels a little drunk and groans in confusion. What has he gotten himself into this time?

"Hey, weirdly small person. I'm afraid I'll have to get you out of here before Jeongguk comes back and potentially throws you out. Like, literally." Taehyung grins, laughter still in his voice.

Jimin just closes his eyes and opens his arms wide before tiredly slinging them around Taehyung's neck, pulling him down to hug him tightly.

The other lets out a startled sound as he's pulled down, but it soon turns into more laughter, and Jimin wants to put tape over his mouth.

"You're a clingy one," is what the older boy declares before hoisting Jimin into his arms with practiced motions, walking to a destination Jimin can't be bothered to try and figure out.

"What are you doing? He has fucking legs."

Jimin blinks his eyes open to see Jeongguk standing in a corridor, a clean T-shirt on now, looking like a fucking god with his tattoos and messy hair. He's scowling, a pissed expression on his face and Jimin pouts before turning his head back to Taehyung's chest.

"He's still drunk, or high, and he kept hugging me. He's also a legend for throwing up on you, so I'm taking him home myself," Taehyung says, clearly not faced by Jeongguk's tone, amused if anything.

"Whatever," Jeongguk mutters, turning to head back to wherever he came from.

"Wait!" Jimin half shouts, half mumbles, emerging from Taehyung's chest, and Jeongguk turns around in confusion. "Sorry for ruining your shirt..."

Jimin feels tears invading his eyes and his lip wobbles warningly. It's most likely the alcohol and hangover that makes him extra sensitive, and he can't help it.

Jeongguk just purses his lips. "Yeah."

Then he disappears and Jimin pouts even further, whimpering into Taehyung's shirt.

"Don't take his grumpiness personally, tiny," Taehyung consoles him as he struggles slightly to open the door with Jimin in his arms. Then, as an afterthought, "You know what? It's probably personal. You did puke all over his shirt, after all."

Jimin cringes, pushing his face further into Taehyung's chest, feeling it vibrate when the taller one laughs.

Jimin is soon set down on the ground in front of a motorcycle. The motorcycle that Jimin has seen Taehyung ride countless of times—only ever alone, with a specific girl, or sometimes with Jeongguk. Jimin stares, dumbfounded, as Taehyung slings a leg over it and sits down while taking the helmet hanging off the handle and holds it out for Jimin to take.

"Get on," Taehyung says, and Jimin blinks at him.

"Is it...safe?"

Taehyung feigns a look of offense. "Don't you trust me?"

Jimin frowns. "I don't know you."

Taehyung shrugs. "I did watch you all night after you were roofied by some dickhead, so you have reason to trust me."

"I was what?" Jimin asks, eyes big as he stares at Taehyung in shock.

"Yeah, sorry about that... We didn't know someone like that would show up. Anyone can come though, so it's always a possibility. Do you remember anything?" Taehyung asks, adjusting his body on the bike so he's turned to a stunned Jimin.

"I- No! I was just dancing, and-and... Who was it?" he exclaims, shocked and sad that anyone would actually do that.

"I don't really know... It looked like he was gonna carry you away somewhere. Gguk beat him up, though, so I don't think he'll show his face around here anytime soon!" Taehyung sends him a reassuring smile.

Jimin gasps. He nearly got raped? Is that what this is? And Jeongguk beat the guy up. This was his house all along. Does that mean Jeongguk saw him all passed out and practically dead, too? Can this day get any worse?

"But if you feel uncomfortable, you can always take the bus. If you'd prefer that over my baby here," Taehyung continues, petting the bike like it's a cat.

Jimin quickly pulls the helmet over his head, the thought of being seen on a bus in his state sending shivers down his spine, and not in a good way. He tells Taehyung where he lives and the older one seems amused.

Jimin slowly gets on the bike as if it's going to bite him if he makes any quick movements. When he's fully seated, he circles his arms around Taehyung and proceeds to hold on to him as hard as he can.

"I was gonna say hold on tight, but I guess you got that covered," Taehyung chokes out, and Jimin loosens his grip a tiny bit to make it easier for Taehyung to breathe, let alone drive.

Jimin squeezes his eyes shut tightly as the motor roars to life, the ache in his head going close to numb now with all the painful noises. 

Taehyung turns out to be a very safe driver, and Jimin relaxes somewhere along the way, starting to enjoy the thrill and the adrenaline running through his veins. He considers letting go of Taehyung to stretch his arms out like the girls in cliché movies, but decides against it when cars swoosh by at high speed next to them, not wanting to get his arm chopped off.

The motorcycle comes to a stop in front of his house and Jimin stumbles off the bike, his legs slightly shaky from the rush. He takes the helmet off and runs a hand through his bleached hair.

"Will you be able to get inside on your own?" Taehyung asks, and Jimin blushes in embarrassment, it’s only now sinking in what has really happened this whole morning. The fresh breeze has sobered him up a lot.

He quickly nods. "Yes, thank you for the ride... You're very kind."

Taehyung flashes a boxy grin before putting the helmet on his own head. "You're welcome, tiny."

Jimin blushes a bit harder, a small pout forming on his lips as he realizes what the other has been calling him. "My name isn't tiny. It's Jimin."

Taehyung just laughs, and Jimin jumps slightly as the bike is set to life again. Then, Taehyung is disappearing down the street, and Jimin stands there like a dufus for a few moments.

"Jimin? Come here! What are you doing just standing there?" Jimin startles as his mother’s head peeks out from the front door.

The blonde, disheveled boy walks over to his mother, smiling sheepishly as she examines him with a suspicious look.

"You got wasted, didn't you?" she says, pursing her lips, but Jimin can see the hint of amusement in her eyes.

"Maybe..." Jimin mumbles while trying to get out of his boots.

"And who was the tattooed guy on the motorcycle just now?" his mother continues, and Jimin hears the scolding undertone.

"Um..." he stalls, thinking of what to say. "He's someone from school?"

"And you just let random people from school drive you home on monster bikes now?"

"It was safe!"

"You knew that before getting on it? Or once you got off?"

Jimin puffs out a frustrated breath in defeat. "Fine, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to take the bus and it all went so fast and I was still kind of drunk and I just–"

"Enough, baby. I get it, it's fine. I'm happy you're living life, but just don't do things that actually could cost your life, okay? I don't want to peel you off the asphalt because you couldn't think of calling me for a ride home," his mother cuts his rambling off, flailing her arms around.

"I promise." Jimin sulks, hating to be scolded.

His mother is okay with parties and drinking, but in a decent amount and not so much that you lose awareness of what you're doing.

"Good. There is lunch for you in the fridge."

Jimin's stomach grumbles angrily at the sound of food, having been emptied of its contents all over his crush.

Jimin wants to curl up and die when he thinks about that. It's surely going to haunt him for as long as he lives. He can still hear Jeongguk's angry voice and see his pissed off expression if he focuses hard enough. 

In any other case, Jimin would find Jeongguk unbearably hot like that, but this was just humiliating and Jimin can't believe that this is how Jeongguk acknowledged him for the first time. Jimin threw up on him. He got his long-time craved attention, and now he just wants to hide in his bed for the rest of his life.

At least Taehyung seemed to like him. That's a good thing, he supposes. But now Jeongguk hates his guts and Jimin's heart is aching.

Areum sits at the kitchen table, reading her newspaper while Jimin drinks a glass of water and heats up food. Normally they talk at times like these, but today Jimin is too lost in his own thoughts, and his mother has never lacked understanding.

He needs to rant to his friends. Now.

With that in mind, he speeds up, shoving the food in his mouth and earning a look from his mother before running up to his room.

He has to dig through several pockets in his jeans and jacket before finding his phone, and sees that there are a bunch of missed calls, texts and over a hundred notifications from the app he and his friends use to send each other memes and spam about irrelevant shit.

Ignoring all the notifications, Jimin just calls the group, soon seeing his friends' faces pop up one by one on the screen.

"Thank god, Jimin! I thought you died or something!" Seokjin shouts as soon as he sees him.

"I fucking could've! You guys just left my unconscious body at a stranger's house!" Jimin fires back.

"Wouldn't really call Jeongguk a stranger, all you do is ogle at him," Yoongi huffs.

"He beat a guy up for you, Jiminie! That's so hot! You owe me for giving you a chance to finally talk to him!" Hoseok calls out, snatching the phone from Yoongi to wiggle his eyebrows at Jimin with a huge grin.

Jimin whines. "I don't owe you shit! You owe me for making him hate me now!"

Namjoon frowns. "Why would he hate you?"

Jimin fidgets, wanting to hide.

"What happened? Did you have a wet dream about him while he was in the room?" Hoseok giggles.

"No!" Jimin shouts, blushing deeply at the thought of that, because it wouldn't be the first time dreaming about Jeongguk like that.

"Then what is it, Minie?" Seokjin asks, and Jimin groans.

"I might have thrown up on him?"

There is a painful beat of silence after Jimin's embarrassing confession, and then his phone almost malfunctions with the loud laughter coming from all of his so-called friends.

"It's not funny! He hates me! I'm heartbroken here," Jimin cries out, and his friends quiet down.

"Sorry, Jimin-ah. It sounded funny, 's all," Namjoon apologizes quickly, seeing the devastated look on Jimin's face.

"I'm sure it's not that bad! He knows that you were drugged," Seokjin tries to comfort.

"Yeah, do you remember anything, Jimin? The guy must have done something to distract you while spiking your drink, so you must have seen his face, maybe even a name?" Yoongi questions, eyes serious.

Jimin frowns. "I- No, not yet. But I guess we danced," he says, because he always does.

Yoongi purses his lips. "Tell us when you remember more. Take a shower, you look like shit."

Jimin gasps in offense and Seokjin cackles. "You really do look like someone who was drugged."

"Well, excuse me, then." Jimin pouts, putting his phone on his bedside table to find some comfy clothes in his wardrobe as he starts to rant. "I can't help that these last 24 hours have been the worst of my life! I've been tricked, drugged, left behind, humiliated and scolded. It's not fair! I just wanted to dance and maybe hook up with someone. Is that too much to ask?"

His phone is quiet for a moment, and Jimin has to peek over to check if they left. They haven't.

"Well, damn. I feel bad now," Hoseok mumbles, and the other three chime in with words of agreement.

Jimin sighs. 

"It's not your fault. Mostly. It's the douche that drugged me. I feel like he ruined my positive outlook on human beings, and that sucks. Will I ever be able to trust anyone now? You know? I'm so sad," Jimin sulks, dropping the clothes on the vanity in the bathroom.

"Aw, he took our Jiminie's innocence! I'll haunt him down," Seokjin exclaims, threatening.

"Seriously, though. I want the fucker's name. I'm far from satisfied with just hearing that he paid for it. I want to see for myself," Yoongi grumbles.

"Yeah, no one does that to our Jimin without consequences," Seokjin huffs.

"It sounds like you're gonna stalk him and gang up on him." Jimin gives his friends a look.

"So what if we are? He kind of deserves it," Hoseok says nonchalantly.

"I won't tell you anything I remember if you're planning on doing that," Jimin deadpans. "I want my friends right here, not locked away in prison."

"I've watched documentaries about murder all my life. We're good," Yoongi assures.

"But seriously, tell us if you remember anything, okay?" Namjoon presses.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna shower now before anyone else can insult my appearance." Jimin ends the call after hearing a chorus of goodbyes.

Sure enough, the steamy water of a shower sparks some of Jimin's memories. He closes his eyes and just lets the water fall over his face, soothing the hangover that's been lingering and giving his mind some time to breathe.

At first, he can only vaguely remember himself dancing in the living room that he woke up in. He remembers a boy joining him and he remembers actually thinking of giving himself to him. What an idiot. The guy must have been either super selfconscious, thinking that Jimin wouldn't like him enough to sleep with him willingly, or simply a creep, wanting to touch and fuck a lifeless body.

Either way, Jimin is disappointed, disgusted, and really sad. He feels sick.

On top of almost getting raped, he pissed his saviour off. Truly the worst day ever.

The more Jimin remembers, the more violent his scrubbing becomes. What if Jeongguk hadn’t stopped the guy from taking him away? The thought leaves his raw skin itching.

When he's out of the shower, he still can't remember much about the guy himself, just a blur of the events. He can just see a pair of dark eyes and hair with a similar color.

Turns out the trick was to distract himself, practicing the dance routine he has been learning in his favorite baby blue booty shorts and fluffy sweater, to trigger a name.

Daehyun.

⋆˚࿔

"Are you fucking kidding me? That guy is in, like, half of our classes!" Hoseok exclaims.

Jimin wants nothing more than to get under the covers of his bed and cry, but he tells himself he has to let his friends know first. He promised.

"I can't believe this shit," Yoongi grumbles lowly.

"How does he even dare to drug someone from his own school with the risk of getting caught?" Namjoon is frowning, seriously wondering.

"He was probably high as fuck, and he’s obviously messed up in the head," Yoongi stated, sounding pissed.

"I've heard that he hangs out with real drug dealers. His consequential thinking and impulse control is probably gone after frying his brain all the time." Seokjin’s nose is scrunched up in distaste.

"This isn't the time for a psycho-analysis! That asshole drugged Jimin and tried to take advantage of him! We have to call the police!" Hoseok fumes loudly.

Jimin freezes up. "Guys, stop! No one is calling the police! This is bad enough, I don't need the police involved as well."

"But he was most likely about to rape you, Jimin. We have to do something!"

And that’s when Jimin can’t take it anymore. The tears overflow in mere seconds and a sob rips through his body, reaching his friends' ears before Jimin hangs up, curling in on himself on his bed.

Why him? What has he ever done to deserve to be drugged? To almost be raped?! Was it something he did? Something he said? Was it the clothes he wore? 

He can't remember ever speaking to Daehyun before. Maybe during some forced group project in class, but not ever anything personal.

Just as Jimin's head is starting to ache from crying, still curled up on his bed, his door is quietly opened.

Soon, he is sandwiched between Seokjin and Hoseok, his shaking body cuddled in warm embraces. He immediately accepts the comfort, always wanting someone to hold him—especially when he’s sad.

He cries into Hoseok's chest for what feels like an eternity, trying to focus on the soft words Seokjin whispers in his ear, and then he's sleeping, exhausted from the sadness.

⋆˚࿔

When Jimin stirs awake, the sky is starting to darken. He is still cuddled between his friends, both snoring softly, and it makes an overwhelming warmth bloom in his chest.

This is what brings Jimin to life. Love. That's all he needs. He is like a flower and the only thing he needs to bloom is to receive the love and affection that he has so much of in himself, ready to be put out on his sleeve for anyone who will have him.

He tightens his arms around Hoseok, who is busy drooling on his pillow, and leans his head back against Seokjin, feeling safe. It's enough to lull him into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning, he wakes up alone in his bed, and it feels cold. 

He can smell the aroma of food and his stomach rumbles. His bare feet patter against the cold wooden floor as he makes his way to the kitchen, still in his shorts and sweater from yesterday.

He hears his mother, Seokjin and Hoseok’s voices before he sees them and smiles. When turning the corner into the kitchen, he is met with Seokjin making pancakes while his mother and Hoseok are playing a card game at the kitchen table.

"Good morning, sweetie!" Areum exclaims softly as Jimin comes into view.

"Morning, Jiminie." Seokjin smiles, reaching an arm towards Jimin and the smaller boy happily latches onto him.

Whenever Jimin is stressed or anything similar, he craves physical touch. The people closest to him have learned to love his clingy personality, and knows how to never be too far away.

Seokjin continues to flip pancakes with Jimin attached to his side, and Jimin just lets his mind and body relax for a moment. He closes his eyes and listens to the sound of his mother laughing and leans into Seokjin's touch when he runs a hand through Jimin's hair.

When he lets go to sit down at the table, he feels more at ease. He doesn't feel like crying anymore.

But the time comes when Jimin, Hoseok and Seokjin go back to his room, and they all know that it has to be brought up.

"Jiminie... Talk to us," Seokjin spurs gently when they are sitting on the bed, side by side with Jimin in the middle.

Jimin looks down at his lap for a moment, not really wanting to talk.

"I just... I don't know what I did..." he whispers softly and Hoseok frowns, putting a hand on Jimin's back to draw comforting patterns.

"You did nothing, Jimin. None of this was your fault. It was all on him. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time," Hoseok says sternly but gently.

Jimin just nods slightly, hanging onto every word to try to get some positivity and innocence back. "Yeah, okay..."

"Sorry for not taking this seriously enough sooner, Jimin-ah. We should have never left you, and we should have come over sooner," Hoseok continues, his voice wavering.

Jimin juts his bottom lip out, eyes brimming with tears again.

"Hey, look at me, baby." Seokjin takes Jimin's chin between his fingers gently to make their eyes meet. "You're nothing but amazing and your heart is so beautifully pure. You didn't deserve any of what happened, okay? Life is just really unfair and cruel."

Jimin whimpers as fresh tears fall, and Seokjin pulls him into a hug.

"But we're right here. Do you hear me?" he continues, voice laced with emotion and Jimin nods with a sob. "We're here for you, always. Anytime you need to talk or someone to hug, we'll be here. Yoongi and Joonie, too. You're so precious to us, Jiminie. Never feel alone in anything, because you're not."

Jimin cries some more, not wanting to but unable to help himself. He is so overwhelmed by everything and Seokjin's words make his heart swell further with love.

"And don't feel pressured to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. If you don't want to involve the police or your mother because it's too much, then we won't. It sucks, because Daehyun won't truly pay or be stopped from doing it again, but it's your choice and we will support you no matter what," Hoseok adds, continuing to run his palm over Jimin's back, spreading warmth.

"Thank you," Jimin says through the tears, turning to hug Hoseok, too.

"We'll stay for the rest of the weekend, okay?"

"Okay."

⋆˚࿔

Seeing Daehyun again is harder than Jimin had originally planned in his head.

The other is sporting a painful-looking black eye along with busted lips and a few other bruises.

"It's taking all of my self control not to make his pain a little bit more painful." Yoongi glares at Daehyun, who sits down at a table on the other side of the canteen.

"Stop. Jimin doesn't want us to do anything, and we're gonna respect his wishes," Seokjin scolds, turning his attention away from the beaten boy.

"I am respecting it. Mostly because it seems like Jeongguk beat him up pretty good," Yoongi says, still shooting daggers at Daehyun who is oblivious as he eats his lunch.

"It pisses me off that he's just sitting there. He looks so unaffected, it's not fair," Hoseok grumbles, slinging a protective arm around Jimin's shoulders.

"Can we talk about something else?" Jimin requests, voice small but loud enough for his friends to hear.

"Sure, Jiminie... Have you guys studied a lot for the history test?" Namjoon throws out a question calmly, making them focus on something else.

Jimin sighs softly as his friends chat away. His eyes drift away to Daehyun again. He truly looks beaten up. It doesn't change anything inside of Jimin, though. He has never been a fan of physical violence.

His eyes drift over the canteen, almost flinching in surprise to find a pair of eyes already watching him.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk watches the boy's eyes widen before his cheeks dust a rosy pink, but he doesn't look away.

"Hey, Jeongguk! What are you–" Taehyung huffs in frustrated confusion when Jeongguk doesn't listen to him. He turns his head to follow Jeongguk's gaze which is almost never anywhere else than his food during lunch.

"Oh, that's the guy from the party, right? He looks different when he's not passed out or really hung over, almost didn't recognize him," Taehyung points out, excitement in his voice from noting that Jeongguk is actually being attentive to his surroundings.

Jeongguk averts his eyes to Taehyung and then his food again. "Yeah, the guy I beat up is sitting by the windows," he mutters.

"Oh shit! He goes to our fucking school?!" Taehyung whips his head in said direction, quickly finding said person. Then he whistles lowly. "Damn, you didn't go easy."

"Why should I go easy on him? He's a fucking idiot," Jeongguk says, looking over to the guy he beat up again.

He is not hiding his face inside his hood anymore, head turned, and Jeongguk follows his gaze to Jimin. The smaller boy is freezing up in his seat, eyes locked with the bruised up asshole.

It all happens very fast when Jimin rushes out of the canteen, leaving his food and friends behind. The emo one, Yoongi, stands up with clenched fists, frosty glare zeroed in on the table by the windows, but is pulled back down by his boyfriend before he can do anything. Instead, the tallest one, Namjoon, gets up and walks out after Jimin casually, calmly, not making any more of a scene.

"Drama~" Taehyung sing-songs, eyes going back to Jeongguk, who is looking at the door where the two went.

"Why do you think Jimin ran out? Do you get, like, panic attacks from getting roofied?" Taehyung ponders, and Jeongguk frowns at him.

"Why the fuck do you think he ran? He almost got fucking raped by some psycho who goes to our school," Jeongguk hisses, irritated by Taehyung's sudden lack of perception.

Taehyung just looks at him with a smug expression. "I know. I just wanted you to show you care. You can't pretend to be completely emotionless as soon as we get into school every day for four years. It's not healthy, you know?" he points out.

Jeongguk just grunts in response, annoyed. 

"I feel bad for him. Guilty, even. Don't you? It happened at the party we were throwing," Taehyung sighs, glancing over at the table where Jimin was sitting and sees his friends in an intense conversation, all looking uneasy.

Jeongguk nibbles on the cool metal of his lip ring. He has already spent too much time thinking about it.

He is quiet for a moment too long before denying. "We can't just stand at the door all night and check everyone who enters for drugs."

In reality, he does feel bad. He knows he could have tried harder to prevent it. He could have tried to kick them out without getting Taehyung first, and nothing would have happened to the petite boy. Of course, he couldn't have known precisely what would happen, but still.

Taehyung doesn't believe him at all, able to read Jeongguk like an open book after years of practice, just uttering a sarcastic, "Sure, whatever you say".

For some reason, it makes Jeongguk want to snap at him. It feels like Taehyung is accusing him of having feelings for something other than the usual, and he doesn't. The guilt is just because he knows he could have stopped something illegal from happening in his house. It's got nothing to do with caring about anyone.

He doesn't lose his temper though, just eats his food a bit more aggressively.

Taehyung can be a pain in his ass, but the only reason he can get under Jeongguk’s skin is because Jeongguk cares about him so much.

As cliche as it might sound, he and Taehyung met in detention. The two of them used to spend hours in that moldy room together. The first time they spoke was in middle school, and Jeongguk can remember the exact words they exchanged. 

"You're not supposed to have your phone on," Taehyung had told him grumpily, and it was mostly because the teacher had taken his own phone away in the beginning of detention. "And you're not supposed to talk," Jeongguk had shot back, not giving the other a glance as he continued to play his phone game. 

The rest is kind of a blur, but Jeongguk does remember Taehyung trying to snatch his phone away and the whole thing ending in a fist fight. It was a great ice-breaker. 

As it turned out, Taehyung had a tough time growing up, too. His parents were too young to take care of a baby when he was born, so he spent most of his upbringing with his grandparents. Then, when he was ten, his parents decided that they were ready and swooped back into his life. To say Taehyung was holding a grudge would be an understatement. 

Naturally, they make a great combo. 

"I can literally see smoke coming out of your ears, Gguk. You have to get to know him eventually. Your dad is dating his mom, after all," Taehyung points out, and Jeongguk hates that Taehyung is never affected by his bad moods.

"I don't have to do shit," Jeongguk close to growls, because Taehyung knows him. He knows that he doesn't do new people, "and my dad knows that, too."

Taehyung scoffs. "I feel like I know your dad better than you do sometimes. Trust me, if he's serious about Jimin’s mother, you're going to have to at least pretend."

Jeongguk narrows his eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"Okay, maybe you're just dense." Taehyung puffs out a breath. "You're his kid, right? And if Jimin's mom is gonna wanna stay, his kids have to get along with her's,"

Jeongguk purses his lips as he thinks about it for a moment. "That's too bad for him, then."

Taehyung shakes his head with a small chuckle. "You're so horrible sometimes. I feel bad for everyone in your life, including myself."

"It’s too bad you love me," Jeongguk hums, and Taehyung agrees.

Jeongguk hates that he finds himself wondering if Jimin is okay once or twice during the rest of lunch.

⋆˚࿔

It was too much for Jimin to look into Daehyun’s eyes again. That is why he's in the boys bathrooms, hugging Namjoon instead of eating his lunch.

"It'll be okay, Jiminie. He will not dare to touch you ever again, and you will be able to move past this," Namjoon soothes, calming Jimin down.

Namjoon has always been the best at hugging Jimin, except for his mother. His bigger body engulfs Jimin's with warmth and it's almost as if his calm aura is contagious when this close.

"I'm scared," Jimin whispers, burying his face further into his tall friend's chest.

"I understand that, but you don't need to be. You're not alone," Namjoon hums, ignoring a boy who comes in and sends them a weird stare as he washes his hands.

"Thank you, Joonie... I'm just sensitive right now," Jimin sniffles, pulling back from Namjoon to rub at his eyes.

"And you have every right to be. Just try to ignore him... He doesn't deserve your tears."

Jimin nods, taking a breath. "Yeah, you're right."

He gets through the rest of day without seeing any more of Daehyun, and Tuesday goes by fairly quickly. Daehyun was in two of his afternoon classes, but there was no eye contact or anything to trigger Jimin.

Wednesday, Jimin is tired of everything and he feels like ditching on his whole life. He knows that Jeongguk must have been informed of their group project, and most probably the whole parents-dating situation as well. Normally, he would freak out right now and run as far away from school as possible, but he's so tired. 

He just wants it all over with.

It's not like him at all, and he knows that his friends are worrying out of their minds. He's lost his usual glow of innocence and is left feeling unsure of his surroundings. This leads to less carefreeness and less of his eye-smiles that his friends adore.

"Today we're starting a new project," Mrs. Yong announces when everyone has entered the classroom except for Jeongguk.

Jimin finally starts getting nervous. He chews on his lip as he watches the door.

"The assignment is—welcome, Jeongguk-ssi—the assignment is to make a cover of a song. You'll be working in groups of two or three that I have created beforehand."

Jimin sucks his whole bottom lip into his mouth as he watches Jeongguk sit down two tables away, tasting the sweet strawberry of his lipgloss. Does he look better than usual? Jimin bets his ass on that he gets more attractive every time he sees him.

"The song will be of your own choice and you will of course have access to the school's instruments as well as the recording studio, but I would advise you to take time to practice outside of school too, in case you want to reach the higher grades," Mrs. Yong continues, adding a couple hundred more butterflies to the swarm in Jimin's belly. "I will now announce the pairings: Min Chaewon, Yun Hyeon and Dong Jae, Yang Seojoon and Wang Youngja, Park Jimin and Jeon Jeongguk, Chang Jiwoo, Lee Nari and Choi Minjun–"

"Mrs. Yong?"

The teacher looks up at Nari who is holding up her hand as far as her arm can reach. "Yes?"

"Can I switch to Jimin and Jeongguk's group please?" Nari asks sweetly, and Mrs. Yong raises her eyebrows, looking between the three.

"I guess... If you'll be more comfortable," She affirms, and Nari nods enthusiastically.

Jimin puffs out a silent breath of air, and he's never been more thankful for Nari as he is at this moment. He doesn't think he would survive this on his own.

Nari turns to look at him with a big smile and Jimin smiles back. Then he turns to Jeongguk to see him looking ahead with a blank face, jaw clenched.

When Mrs. Yong is done announcing the groups and tells them to start working, Jeongguk immediately gets up and says something to her. Jimin faintly hears Nari's voice talking to him, but his focus is on how Mrs. Yong gives Jeongguk a stern look and says something that makes Jeongguk snap at her before he walks out of the classroom.

Mrs. Yong sends Jimin a defeated look, and Jimin frowns.

Does Jeongguk really despise him that much? Is it because of the whole throwing-up-on-him thing? Is it their parents dating that's the problem?

Jimin has no idea what's going on inside Jeongguk's head and he so badly wants to know.

Once again he is left with Nari, but this time he’s kind of thankful for her rambling. Even though they don't get anything done, it gets his mind off of everything that's going wrong in his life.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk hates when people tell him what to do. To say the words ’you have to’ to Jeongguk is like picking a fight. It might be a bit childish, but it is what it is. He feels like no one has the right to tell him how to live his life. Maybe it has something to do with being so helpless when he was little, maybe not. It's just how it is.

So, when his teacher tells him that he has to work in a group for the next project, or his father tells him that he has to be good in front of his new girlfriend, Jeongguk does the opposite.

The latter turns out to be the very key to what he has always wanted to find out—his father’s trigger.

Areum seems like a good person, she really does, but Jeongguk doesn't do well with new people and after his father's order about being good, he can't be welcoming or open or anything like that. It's not his scene.

And that's exactly where he finds it.

"I'm not going to ask nicely anymore, Jeongguk," Hyunwoo grits out. He has dragged Jeongguk away from the table after Jeongguk had ignored every question Areum asked him. "Be polite. That's final."

"Or what?" Jeongguk asks, eyes narrowed.

"Or I'll take down the sound assortment in the basement. Or throw out your guitar. Whatever means the most," Hyunwoo hisses, beyond pissed at his obstinate son.

Jeongguk clenches his jaw. "You wouldn't."

"I would. Now behave, for chist's sake! You are nineteen years old, stop acting like a child!"

Jeongguk huffs, turning on his heel to head back. He can't help a small smirk from making its way onto his face. It's about damn time the old man shows some aggression. It can't be healthy being all happy and kind all the time. There has to be dark for there to be light and all that.

Jeongguk sits down again, hearing his father silently apologize for his behavior to Areum, and decides that he's had enough fun for today.

"So, what are you majoring in?" Areum asks, never losing her patience as she looks between the twins with a small smile.

"I'm working as a hairdresser, I skipped school," Sooyun hums, poking at her food with a small frown.

"That's cool! Your hair is beautiful. Did you color it yourself?" Areum asks, her smile wide and genuine.

Sooyun looks up with a small smile. "Yeah, I did. Thanks."

"Maybe you could do mine someday... I used to love trying out different cuts and colors when I was your age. I think I liked purple dip dye the most." 

"Really? You used to experiment, too?" Sooyun asks in awe.

"All the time, until I worried that I was starting to get bald." She chuckles and Sooyun joins in on the laughter. "I was a dance major in college and it was really laid-back. Everyone experimented with everything—hair, clothes, sexualities..." Areum continues with a wink and Sooyun grins, obvious intrigue gleaming in her eyes.

"A dancer, huh? Why haven't I heard of this?" Hyunwoo smirks, and Jeongguk cringes.

Areum just chuckles. "That's all in the past now. Great memories. I'm glad to see that my son has taken after me in dancing, it's truly healing in a way," she says, drawing Jeongguk's attention. Jimin dances? He had no idea.

"What about you, Jeongguk? I heard you go to the same school as my son," the older woman asks, and Jeongguk glances over to his father who shoots him a stern look.

"Yeah, uh, I major in criminology," he murmurs, earning a warm smile from both Areum and his father.

"Do you want to work as a police officer?" Areum questions with interest.

Jeongguk shrugs. "Yeah, maybe."

"I have a brother who works with solving crimes and all that stuff... Maybe you'd like to speak to him about it sometime," Areum offers, and Jeongguk looks up at her, slightly shocked at the immediate generosity after he's been disrespectful.

"Sounds good," Jeongguk agrees, not wanting to miss out on an opportunity like that.

His father is smiling so big Jeongguk thinks his face will split in two, and he rolls his eyes with a small smile. The old man is whipped. Gross.

The evening continues full of conversation and things take a turn when Areum and Sooyun hit it off really well. Unbelievable, Jeongguk thinks. It was her that convinced him of ’the horror’ this would bring.

"Thank you for having me," Areum chirps as she is about to leave.

"Of course." Hyunwoo helps her into her jacket, leaving them staring at each other with lovesick smiles.

Jeongguk clears his throat, leaning against the wall with a bored expression. He was ordered to see the woman off. He did not sign up to watch his dad make out with her.

Areum chuckles shyly as she takes a step back, looking at the twins. "It was really nice meeting you two... I think you would like my Jiminie, and I hope all of us can meet up soon," she says, smiling hopefully.

Jeongguk resists a grimace, letting Sooyun do the talking since she is the woman's biggest fan now.

"It was nice meeting you, too. I didn't know dad would choose to date such a badass!" Sooyun slaps her father's back and Areum laughs loudly, her eyes disappearing with the force of her smile. It reminds Jeongguk of someone.

Hyunwoo sends Jeongguk a pointed look, and all eyes are on him.

"Yeah... Nice meeting you," he forces out.

Areum looks at him for a moment longer with a small smile, her eyes seemingly trying to read him. It makes Jeongguk’s skin crawl.

"Alright, thanks again. The food was delicious! Much better than mine," she giggles, heart-eyes directed at Hyunwoo.

The older man hugs her softly. "See you soon, Areum-ah."

The woman smiles at them all once more before leaving.

Jeongguk goes to his room before his father comes down from the spell of love he is in.

On the way down the stairs, he hears a, “Geronimo!” and braces himself, stopping on a step and holding on to the railing.

His sister lands on his back a moment later and Jeongguk grunts, securing her. Sooyun started doing this when they were kids, so he has learned not to stumble or fall. But trust that the first few times were not pretty at all.

He dumps her on the couch in the small area they call the cozy corner in the first room of the basement. There is a couch, a loveseat, armchairs, TV, video games, computer, even a minifridge with drinks and snacks.

"You're a traitor," Jeongguk accuses, slumping down in an armchair.

Sooyun points at herself with raised eyebrows as if saying ’me?’.

"You just spurred on the whole stepmonster thing after shouting about how horrible it would be!" Jeongguk argues, not worrying about their father hearing since the basement is soundproof.

"Well, what can I say? She's kinda awesome, baby bro," Sooyun shrugs, "and you're just mad because she has a son you have to get along with."

Jeongguk scowls to himself.

"Do you know who he is? You must have seen him around school," Sooyun continues nonchalantly.

"He's the guy who got roofied at my party," Jeongguk mumbles, looking up as his sister gasps.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me! We're screwed if dad or Ms. Park finds out," she exclaims, eyes wide in alarm.

Jeongguk scrunches his nose up in a confused frown. "Why? Dad knowing of our parties has never stopped us before."

Sooyun closes his eyes in a moment of grief for her brother's brain, "If Areum finds out her son was drugged at a party in our house, she'll blame it on dad and probably break up with him, and dad will blame it on us! Well, mostly you. You saw how mad he got today just 'cause you didn't talk. Imagine if he knew about all of that!"

Jeongguk purses his lips. "About time."

"Oh, are you still on about that shit? You're really so immature, Jeongguk-ah," Sooyun groans. "Sometimes I feel like you're fifteen years younger than me, not minutes."

Jeongguk huffs out, "I'm not fucking immature. I just believe that everyone has an ugly side and it scares me that dad never lets it out. It's healthy to get angry sometimes, and he's just bottling it up."

"Well, that bottle’s gonna explode soon if you continue like this or if anyone finds out about the party, and the explosion will be directed at you. So I suggest you just be happy for him," Sooyun warns.

"Says the one who thought his happiness would lead to unimaginable horror a week ago," Jeongguk grumbles, getting up to lock himself in his room for the rest of the night.

He flops down on his bed and puts his earphones in.

It's not that he didn't like Areum. She seems really nice and of course he's happy for his father. It's just that this means more people he has to let into his life. More people that can potentially hurt him in the end. He has everyone he needs already. 

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk considered skipping Friday's music class. Then he thought of how he actually wants a career in the future and needs good grades.

So here he is, early to class for once, sitting with a girl who's possibly the most annoying human being he has ever met, half-listening to her ranting to him about a party she's hosting in January for her birthday. That's over three months from now, and Jeongguk wants to tell her to calm the fuck down.

"...and I was thinking yellow or pink for the theme, I can't really decide on whi– Oh! Hi, Jimin oppa! Come sit with us! Jeongguk-ssi decided not to ditch us after all!"

Jeongguk almost flinches at the girl's squeal, and looks up from his sketching to see Jimin approach them. He notices that he looks rather tired, shoulders slouched and eyes dull.

"Hey, Nari..." he says quietly as he sits down next to the girl, avoiding Jeongguk's gaze.

Jeongguk shrugs it off quickly, erasing the frown that dared to form on his face and looks over to the teacher who starts talking. He spoke with her earlier and she told him that he's already failing and the only way to pass this assignment is to do it with the group. She also thought that some influence from motivated students would do him good. He wanted to scoff at that and tell her that he could do it one hundred times better on his own, but opted against it after being informed that he was failing the class.

"Today I expect you to find a song and start deciding who gets which part and so on. Everyone is required to sing at least some part of the song. You don't have to be great at it, but I would appreciate it a lot to see you try," Mrs. Yong says with an encouraging smile. "You can get to work."

Jeongguk sighs under his breath. He doesn't want to sing. Especially not in front of these people. Any people.

"What song do you guys want to do? I have a few in mind..." Nari begins talking about the songs she thinks would suit their group.

It's very obvious that neither Jimin or Jeongguk are really listening, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"I think that this is the best one, what do you think, Jimin?" Nari asks Jimin with a hopeful voice, showing him her computer.

"Yeah, I like that one... Um, Jeongguk-ssi, would you prefer something else?" Jimin says, sounding a bit breathless as he meets Jeongguk's eyes for the first time.

Jeongguk shrugs. "Doesn't really matter," he mumbles, looking at the computer shoved in front of him.

It's a love song, a duet. Jeongguk likes it a lot, and has listened to it countless times as it's sung by two of his favorite singers—not that he would ever admit that. He still doesn't want to sing it. He has never sung in front of anyone but his sister, and that was by accident.

"Then that's settled! Are we all going to sing? Or if you don't want to sing, Jeongguk-ssi, me and Jimin can do it like a duet and you can play the guitar," Nari rambles quickly, smiling excitedly.

Jeongguk sighs, wanting to just ditch this class and not give any fucks about failing. But he can't.

"I can't sing and I don't want to, but I need a good grade so I can pass the fucking class," he mutters, flicking his tongue over his piercing aggressively.

Nari's smile falters slightly, but she's quick to recover. "Okay, then let's split it in three."

The rest of the class goes by similarly. Jeongguk almost chokes on his own saliva when he notices that Jimin wears lip gloss, as well as acknowledging the shape of his lips. They look soft. Jeongguk blames those thoughts on the smoke he had before class—the cigarettes must have been laced with something, messing with his sanity.

It's painfully obvious that Jimin is gay. The times Jeongguk has seen him he has been wearing jeans that look as though he has taken an hour just to squeeze into them and his shirts are either cute fluffy ones or really tight ones that display his small waist in a way no straight man would be comfortable with. And then that cropped top he wore to the party that showed a sliver of milky skin. Not that Jeongguk has been looking, or liking.

He doesn't particularly have a problem with it. But, then again, maybe he has some sort of problem with it. He's not sure if he thinks it's okay for anyone to walk around in pants as tight as that. Shouldn't there be some kind of limit?

"How did it go? Did you get to sing with the ladies?" Taehyung teases as Jeongguk approaches, singing an adlib melody with two fingers over his ear and a ridiculous expression on his face.

Jeongguk resists the urge to punch him. "Shut up, Taehyung."

"Wow, moody! Did Jimin throw up on you again or something? Is that why you're late? Classes ended five minutes ago and you're here just now. You're usually here five minutes before classes end," Taehyung points out.

"I went outside for a while. The new cigarettes are fucking with my head," Jeongguk mumbles.

Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "Really? I haven't felt anything unusual, but I guess we can..." he trails off as, a few meters away from them, the door to the boy's bathroom flings open with a bang, a guy walking out hastily. His eyes are dark and there is an angry scowl on his face as he looks in their direction before quickly turning to walk the other way.

"Hey, isn't that..." Taehyung trails off again when Jeongguk is already walking away from him towards the bathrooms, and he jogs after him quickly. "What are we doing?"

Jeongguk's stomach twisted as soon as his eyes met the other guy’s, and with the look on his face, something clearly happened.

He's proven right when he reaches the bathrooms, finding Jimin on the floor, sobbing into his knees as his whole body trembles.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" Taehyung exclaims with big eyes and Jeongguk almost growls at him.

"Does it look like he's fucking okay? You wanted someone to hit. Try and find that fucker," Jeongguk says, and Taehyung looks at him for a second before nodding and turning to rush out again.

Jeongguk walks over to Jimin, who still hasn't looked up once, just shaking and crying. He slides down the wall to sit next to him, hesitantly putting his hand on his back, rubbing slowly. He's not one for comforting, since he hasn't had to do it many times in his life. He has never felt the need to. Never cared enough.

He tries not to think of what that makes this.

Jimin flinches slightly at the touch, emerging from his knees to blink up at Jeongguk, looking at him through wet, clumped together eyelashes as he sniffles.

Jeongguk doesn't know what to do, so he just looks away, retracting his hand.

"What did he do?" Jeongguk questions instead, wanting to know how serious this is in case Jimin is going to want to involve his mother, or worse: the police. Sooyun's words echo in his head, and he doesn't want to die just yet.

Instead of answering, Jimin sobs and throws his arms around Jeongguk's neck, burying his face in his chest. Jeongguk's eyes widen, back straightening up at the intrusion. He looks down at the crying boy, arms hovering in the air awkwardly as he decides whether he should push him away or let it happen.

It isn't much of a decision, really. He is not a hugger, but his heart unwillingly and without warning turns to mush in that moment.

Jeongguk hates it.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin's hands are shaking slightly as he stands in front of a mirror in the boys bathroom, putting on more of his lipgloss. As if that would help anything.

He got through the whole class, speaking with Jeongguk for the first time since the incident at the latter's house. Jimin is not blind—he can tell that Jeongguk doesn't want anything to do with him.

He's fairly surprised with himself for not crying right now. Maybe he has no tears left after crying himself to sleep most days the past week.

Just when he's about to stuff the gloss back into his bag, the door to the bathroom is opened. Jimin doesn't think much of it until his wrist is being tugged at, making him drop the item and face the person.

It's Daehyun, and Jimin's heart stops in his chest. The taller boy's dark eyes bore into his and memories from that night flash through Jimin's mind rapidly. The betrayal.

"Jimin," Daehyun says lowly—almost a whisper—but Jimin flinches either way, ripping his wrist out of the other's grip.

"S-stay away!" Jimin exclaims, terrified in an instant. Daehyun has haunted his dreams ever since that night.

Daehyun sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, looking sorrowful. "Jimin, I wasn't in my right mind, I'm so sorry," he tries, stepping closer.

Jimin shakes his head violently, stepping back. "I said stay away. I don't want anything to do with you." His voice trembles even though he tries to stay stern, stay calm. He wishes Namjoon was here.

Something dark flashes through Daehyun's eyes and Jimin almost gasps out of pure fear, realizing he must have said something wrong.

"Don't say that. I'm not the person you think I am. I wouldn't hurt you! I adore you, Jimin," he says, but his eyes say something different, something darker. Jimin feels his eyes fill with tears—it turns out he can't run out of those.

"Don't come closer, please." Jimin sniffles, desperately putting a hand out between them as his back hits the wall.

Daehyun takes the hand in both of his own, putting it against his chest.

"Feel that? My heart races when I see you, Jimin. You're so precious to–"

Jimin snaps then, because why is Daehyun still in front of him and why is he making him touch his chest? Jimin doesn't want this at all. He wanted Daehyun to stay far away from him after what happened. How dare he even approach him after what he did against Jimin's will?

"No! Let me go! I don't want to see you! If you care about me you will get out! Stay away," he shouts desperately, hot tears spilling over his lashlines.

Daehyun scowls, taking in the vision of the shorter boy. His demeanor becomes one of anger and Jimin tries to brace himself for the worst.

There is a long silence. Jimin feels like it lasts for hours, waiting for something, anything, painful to happen.

It doesn't.

Instead, Daehyun lets go of Jimin completely, and then he's gone.

Jimin breaks down not even a second after the door is harshly slammed shut. He slides down the wall and hugs his knees to his chest, burying his face in them.

Jimin barely notices that he's not alone in the room a few moments later, but soon there is a hand on his back and he flinches, looking up.

It's Jeongguk. Jeongguk of all people is sitting next to him, his hand on his back and doe eyes looking into his own for only a moment before the older boy averts them, drawing the hand back as well.

Jimin sniffles and wonders if he's dreaming. Maybe Daehyun hurt him after all, and this is just happening in his head because he passed out.

"What did he do?" Dream-Jeongguk asks, and Jimin's bottom lip wobbles. Real Jeongguk would never care enough about him to ask, let alone sit here with him.

Deciding that dream-Jeongguk is here to comfort him, Jimin starts sobbing again and throws his arms around his neck, an awkward angle but he couldn't care less as he soaks the other’s shirt with his tears.

Jimin doesn't even notice Jungkook freezing up, too busy sobbing and basking in the warmth of physical touch. Then, a long moment later, arms wrap around his waist, and Jimin feels his mind easing up.

He realizes then that this isn't his imagination. Jeongguk's touch is sending tingles through his body that are too vivid to be dreamed up. He also notices that he can smell Jeongguk, that he's breathing the scent in like it's oxygen, and he immediately pulls back as he feels himself blushing.

"I-I'm sorry!" Jimin rushes out, moving away from Jeongguk and wipes at his cheeks in an unsuccessful attempt of erasing the still flowing tears.

"I... Yeah," Jeongguk mumbles, sounding rather shocked himself.

Jimin scrambles up on shaky legs, reaching for the lipgloss he dropped in the sink and his bag from the floor. "I'm sorry, I-I'm gonna go now. Sorry for ruining another one of your shirts–... I'm sorry," he stutters out. His voice is unsteady and there is a lump in his throat that makes it break towards the end, whispering the last words.

Jimin is still crying as he stumbles out into the hallway, heading to the exit with his head hanging low even though there are no people left in the halls.

"Jiminie! Oh, god."

Jimin looks up to see Hoseok running to him, Taehyung in tow. His friend crashes into him, hugging him tightly, making Jimin start sobbing all over again against his will.

Jimin sees Jeongguk walk past them through blurry vision, approaching Taehyung.

"I couldn't find him, but I found Hoseok! He was by the dance halls where I completely lost track of the douche," Taehyung says, and Jimin quickly closes his eyes when Jeongguk turns to glance back at him and Hoseok.

"It's fine, let's just go," Jeongguk tells him, barely loud enough for Jimin to catch.

"No! I'm not leaving until Jimin is okay," Taehyung protests, and Jimin hears him approach, another hand on his back.

"How's it going, tiny? I'm sorry, I couldn't find that loser who did this," Taehyung says sadly.

Jimin pulls back from Hoseok and wipes at his eyes again, trying to collect himself by thinking to stop being such a wimp.

"It’s fine. I’m just– He just–" Jimin chokes up. He doesn't know what to say.

"What did he do this time, Jiminie? Did he hurt you?" Hoseok questions softly, holding Jimin's hand tightly.

Jimin shakes his head. "No, he just scared me. I think he– I don’t think he’ll leave me alone," he whispers the last part, knowing his voice would break and send him into another crying-fit.

"What do you mean? What did he say?" Taehyung spurs but Jimin just shakes his head, lips trembling warningly.

Hoseok pulls him in again, sighing in sorrow to see his best friend like this. His pure, kind, loving Jimin.

"Okay, Minie, I'll take you home now, yeah? Or Namjoon's? Jinnie is there, too," Hoseok whispers softly into his ear and Jimin just nods.

"Thank you for coming to get me, Taehyung-ssi. I'll take it from here," Hoseok notifies Taehyung and the taller one just nods, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Yeah, thanks," Jimin breathes out, making brief eye-contact with a frowning Jeongguk before Hoseok turns him around to walk them out of the building.

Jimin sniffles as he absentmindedly gazes out at the passing scenery on the way to Namjoon's house. Hoseok stays quiet, but Jimin feels his glances at him now and then, worrying about him.

He can barely remember what happened now, looking back at it. The only thing he remembers clearly is how much Daehyung had scared him. The feeling of not knowing what he would do, being aware of what he has been capable of in the past. It was terrifying, and he is still shaking slightly.

"Let's go, Jiminie." 

Jimin follows Hoseok to the door, the two of them walking right inside as if they own the place.

"Joonie!" his friend calls throughout the house as they take off their shoes.

"Hobi? What–" Namjoon comes down the stairs, observing the two, eyes settling on Jimin. "What happened?"

Jimin guesses his eyes are swollen and his face blotchy red from crying. Namjoon hugs him and Jimin melts into it.

"What's happening?" Seokjin asks as he comes downstairs, immediately going to sandwich Jimin in.

"Daehyun," Hoseok sighs and Seokjin gasps, pulling away.

"Did he dare to talk to him? Did he try to hurt him again? Did he hurt him? I'll kill a bitch. Gladly," Seokjin threatens, shaking Hoseok by his shoulders.

"Let's just cuddle and calm down a bit." Hoseok takes Seokjin's hands off of him.

Namjoon comes back with a glass of water for Jimin which the latter gratefully accepts and they go up to Namjoon's room.

It takes about half an hour before Jimin feels calmed down enough to talk. His friends had put on a movie in Namjoon's room, cuddling on his bed like they often do. Yoongi arrived sometime during it all, too, after Hoseok texted him.

"Okay... I can talk now," Jimin mumbles, comfortable with Hoseok on one side and Namjoon on the other, squished between them.

Hoseok sits up, guiding Jimin to do so too and the others follow.

"Please do. I can't take this," Seokjin pleads, looking like he’s been stressing out this whole time.

Jimin nods, taking a breath.

"Well, first Jeongguk showed up to the group project in my music class. He was really distant and I think it's because of me," Jimin sighs, not letting his friends protest before continuing, "but it doesn't matter. I was a nuisance at his party and puked on him. He has the right to hate me."

"Stop, Jimin-ah. That wasn't your fault. It was more his fault than yours. It was his party, after all. He could have had a little bit more control over who gets in," Hoseok chastises.

Jimin just waves it off. "Whatever... I don't want to talk about it, I'm just telling you what happened. After class I went into the bathrooms to clear my head a little, and Daehyun walked in after me. I guess he was following me there or something," Jimin starts to explain, shivering at the thought. "He apologized and got really close to me so I told him to stay away and that I don't want to see him and…he got mad. He told me that he would never hurt me and that–" Jimin pauses, closing his eyes momentarily before continuing, "He told me that he adores me...but his eyes were so scary." His voice trembles slightly, but he can't cry again. He won't. "He put my hand on his chest and said something about his heart beating faster around me. I shouted at him to stay away from me and I thought he was going to hit me or something, but he just left," Jimin finishes, looking down at his hands in his lap.

"He's a complete psycho!" Seokjin exclaims. "I can't imagine how scared you must have been, Jimin-ah... I wish I could have been there with you."

Jimin just sends him a small smile, squeezing his hand that he had taken while speaking.

"There is definitely something wrong with that dude. We should really do something. I'm sorry, Jimin, but it doesn't sound like he's going to stay away like we thought," Yoongi says, his expression showing distaste.

"But what can we do? We don't have any proof," Seokjin says sadly, frowning.

"What do you want to do, Jimin?" Namjoon asks instead, gaze soft on Jimin.

Jimin nibbles on his lip anxiously. "I-I don't know. I just know that he was really creeping me out today. Maybe I should tell mom..." he trails off, thinking hard. "She will definitely talk to the principal, but I'm sure she would listen to me if I told her that I don't want to involve the police."

Hoseok rubs his palm over Jimin's back comfortingly. "I really think you should tell her. You two are close and she just wants what's best for you. Just like us. We want you to be safe."

Jimin nods slowly. "Yeah, I think I'll stay home from school until we can have a meeting with the principal, too. I'm scared Daehyun will do something like that again."

"That's okay, Jimin-ah. We'll make sure you don't fall behind," Namjoon reassures.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hoseok asks, and Jimin nods.

They leave Namjoon's house after many hugs and Jimin feels weirdly calm. He trusts his mother the most and he regrets not telling her about it immediately.

"Jimin?" Areum asks from somewhere in the house as the two boys step inside.

"Yeah, it's me! And Hoseok!" Jimin calls back, taking off his shoes.

Areum soon appears with a smile. "Hi, boys. What are you up to today?"

Hoseok glances at Jimin and the latter takes a breath. "I need to tell you something."

⋆˚࿔

If Jimin was to say that his mother took the information well, that would be a lie. She definitely freaked out and went all protective momma on him.

One thing led to another, and an hour later they were on their way back to school. Areum had not taken any excuses from the principal, pretty much just hissed at him and threatened to sue the school if he did not set up a meeting for them right that second.

The meeting turns out pretty similarly—Areum not standing down until Daehyun is permanently expelled.

"Miss, I can't expel a student for only frightened your son by telling him that he likes him. That would be out of line, don't you agree?" the principal says with a tired sigh.

"Did you listen to what I just said? This student also drugged my son with the intention to take advantage of him!" Areum exclaims, in disbelief.

"That is something you would have to discuss with the police. I can only control what happens on school grounds. I can suspend Mr. Yung for two weeks because of violation of privacy but nothing more, unfortunately. You did say that he touched you and did not step back even as you told him to, right Jimin-ssi?" The principal looks at Jimin.

Jimin snaps out of his thoughts as he hears his name. "Yes," he confirms.

"Then the outcome of this will be the following: Mr. Yung will be notified of the issue and receive a consequence of two weeks suspension starting next week. There is nothing more I am allowed to do without the police's judgment," the man declares.

Areum is about to protest, but Jimin puts his hand on hers. "Mom, it's okay. Thank you for your time, sir," he bows, pulling his mother up with him to leave.

"Is it really okay, Jimin? I think we should go to the police," Areum stresses as they walk out of the building.

"No, I don't want that. We don't have any valid proof, anyway. It would just be stressful in vain. It's not that serious, he just gives me this weird vibe,” Jimin explains. “It's not like he can do anything drastic at school. There are students and teachers everywhere," he reasons, mostly trying to convince himself.

"I never want you to wander off alone, okay? He'll be gone for two weeks, but I still don’t think it's enough." 

"Yeah..." Jimin mumbles, leaning against the window as Areum drives out of the parking lot.

"Whose party was it? I can at least call and tell the one responsible to be just that. Responsible," Areum continues to grumble, and Jimin tenses up.

He didn't think of that.

"Um... About that..." Jimin trails off, avoiding his mother's eyes as she glances at him quickly.

"Jimin, what? What is it?"

Jimin bites down on his bottom lip, turning to look at Areum with big eyes as she keeps hers on the road.

Areum glances at him again, mimicking his big eyes with her expectant ones. "Spill it, Jimin."

"It-it may have been... Jeon Jeongguk's..." Jimin mutters, the words coming out more like a question.

Jimin almost thinks his mother is going to step on the brakes with how loud her ‘What?!’ is, and he winces.

"But it wasn't his fault! Anyone can come to his parties and Hyunwoo was probably out of town and didn't know about it and Jeongguk actually helped me after and let me sleep over and the guy who drove me home is his friend and I–"

"Jimin, quiet," Areum cuts off her son's fast rambling, holding up a finger. "You're telling me that you got drugged at Hyunwoo's house?"

"Yes, but–"

"You don't have to explain anything. Just... I'll handle it," Areum sighs, and Jimin frowns when she suddenly seems sad.

"Mom... I'm sorry. I should have told you immediately and-and–"

"Don't apologize, either. I understand why you acted like you did. I'm not disappointed in you, honey. There is someone else I'm disappointed in," Areum explains softly, blindly caressing Jimin's cheek with her free hand.

Jimin worries his lower lip between his teeth. What does that mean? Did he just ruin things between his mother and Hyunwoo? He would never forgive himself.

And, shit, if Jeongguk figures out that Jimin told on him... Oh, this is bad. Of course he will figure that out. Hyunwoo is going to give him hell, isn't he? And it will be all Jimin's fault. Jeongguk already hates him, for chist's sake. He didn't need this. They are still going to have to work together in music class. Fuck. It will be so awkward and–

"Jimin, sweetie, we're home."

Jimin snaps out of his thoughts and blinks out at the house with a small, “Oh,” before getting out of the car.

"Mom…?" Jimin asks quietly as they take their shoes off.

Areum turns to him and pulls him into a hug as she sees his expression.

"I-I don't want this to...to cause you and Hyunwoo any trouble. He makes you so happy and I don't want you to be mad at him."

Areum waits until Jimin is finished to answer, stroking his hair slowly.

"I just need to talk to him, Jimin-ah. I'm sure this can be solved without much trouble," she assures him, leaning back to kiss his cheeks. "Go get some rest and I'll come get you when dinner is ready. You look tired."

Jimin nods, goes to his room and lies down on the bed.

He sees notifications on his phone from his friends wanting him to video call as soon as he can and he does just that. They all are joining the call in mere seconds.

"Hey guys.” Jimin offers a small smile.

"How did it go? Hobi wrote that your mom took it to the principal immediately," Seokjin wonders with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, I just got home. He said that the drug thing has nothing to do with the school. Daehyun is suspended for two weeks because he didn't back off when I told him to in the bathrooms," Jimin explains.

Seokjin rolls his eyes. "Bitchass principal. Two weeks is too little. He should have expelled him for life. Ugh, I've never liked that old man."

"Well, that's better than nothing, right? I bet he'll back off now that he knows that you're serious about not wanting anything to do with him," Namjoon offers.

"I really hope you're right, Joonie..." Jimin sighs, trying to trust that he has some good karma that will save him.

⋆˚࿔

The next day, Saturday, Jimin's mother is gone almost the whole day. 

She went to talk to Hyunwoo at a cafe close by and Jimin has just lounged around in his pajamas all day.

At 5 pm he is starting to get extremely tired of watching TV-shows. He sends a text to his mother asking when she is planning on getting home so he can show her the choreo he has been practicing.

His phone buzzes not even a minute later.

-

We'll be there in ten

-

Jimin frowns. We? She's taking Hyunwoo with her?

He looks down at what he's wearing and sighs, pushing himself up from the couch to change into some jeans. Sure, if his mother and Hyunwoo are serious, the man is going to have to see him in his short shorts and cropped tops but Jimin thinks it's a bit too early to not look presentable and proper in front of his mother's new boyfriend.

When he has changed and flopped down on the couch again, the door is already being unlocked and Jimin sits up again, listening.

"Jimin? Come here, please!"

Jimin stands up at his mother's firm voice, heart speeding up as he walks to the door. Said heart drops to his feet as he is met with not only Areum and Hyunwoo, but also Jeongguk.

"Mom, what–"

"Jimin, I've been informed by Areum that you got into trouble because of my son being irresponsible," Hyunwoo cuts him off, sending Jeongguk a sharp look. "He's here to apologize."

"What? No, it wasn't his fault. It was Daehyun who–"

"No, it was my fault. I wasn't being observant and I'm sorry for what it led to." Jeongguk is the one to cut him off this time, looking like he just wants this over with. Jimin can't blame him.

"But I don't blame this on him!" Jimin looks between the two adults, frustrated that no one is listening. "It wasn't him who drugged me or scared me in school. Jeongguk-ssi has only ever tried to help me."

"Jimin," Areum says warningly, "it was his party. Just accept it and we'll be done here."

Jimin puffs out an irritated breath. "Fine," he mumbles, turning back to Jeongguk who is just watching him with a blank face. "I forgive you for...whatever you were apologizing for."

Jeongguk nods and turns on his heel, sauntering back outside.

"I'm so sorry for him, Jimin. He can be so reckless. It's mostly to anger me I think, and I'm sorry that you were dragged into it," Hyunwoo apologizes, too.

"It's fine. Like I said, I don't blame you or your son." 

"I hope this Daehyun boy won't bother you anymore," Hyunwoo says and Jimin just nods. "I'll see you tomorrow, love," the man continues, kissing Areum chastely before following his son outside.

Jimin turns to his mother after the door closes, whining, "Why'd you have to do that? Jeongguk already hates me~!"

Areum frowns. "It was his responsibility and it had to be done, don't complain. Why would he hate you? Have you spoken in the past?"

Jimin sighs, sulking. "We're in the same group for a project in music class. And I puked on him after the party."

Areum just looks at him for a moment, then cracks up and laughs silently.

"It's not funny," Jimin states, pouting. Why does everyone laugh at his failures?

"It's a little funny, though." Areum giggles, holding up her index and thumb to measure.

"Whatever... I'm going to bed." Jimin continues pouting, starting to walk to the stairs.

His mother stops him, dragging him into her arms and walking them to the couch. "You're not going to bed at five thirty in the evening. You're watching movies with me."

Jimin huffs but stays just because his mother spoons him on the couch and he's too comfortable to move.

They put on a movie and, about thirty minutes in, Jimin thinks of something.

"So this didn't ruin anything between you and Hyunwoo?" Jimin asks quietly, thinking of how they said goodbye.

His mother stops combing her fingers through his hair and looks down at him.

"No, it actually helped our relationship in a way. He showed that he's responsible. I didn’t make him bring Jeongguk here to apologize," she says with a small smile on her face.

Jimin nods, feeling a little better about the whole thing knowing that.

"But I'm a bit worried about how this is going to work out with Jeongguk. It seems like he doesn't want to get to know any of us," Areum sighs. "I actually thought I got through to him one time at Hyunwoo's house, but knowing what happened and how emotionless he acted today just..."

Jimin sulks a bit. "He's like that because of me, so don't take it personally."

"But I don't understand why, baby... You've done nothing wrong except maybe puking on him, and that's made up for because you got roofied at his party. There shouldn't be any problem, unless..."

Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip as his mother pauses.

"Do you think he's maybe...homophobic?" Areum then asks, and Jimin freezes. "He doesn't seem like the most open-minded person, you know?"

Jimin gulps. He hasn't thought about that possibility. Sure, Jeongguk is straight. But homophobic? Jimin's heart aches. He is always sad when someone doesn't approve of his sexuality, even if he doesn't show it. Jeongguk being homophobic would crush him.

"I'll make sure to ask Hyunwoo the next time we meet if Jeongguk could have any kind of problem with that. If he does, I'll break up with Hyunwoo immediately, okay? I won't tolerate any of that," his mother continues, firm.

Jimin just nods, staying silent as he watches the screen instead. He doesn't want to have that conversation and his mother understands, going back to playing with his hair comfortingly.

⋆˚࿔

Going to school on Monday is already helping Jimin’s newfound anxiousness.

Just knowing that Daehyun is far away from him helps him relax and morph back into his old self. He decides to take advantage of these two weeks and not let anything stop him. Not even the fact that Jeongguk may be homophobic. 

"Hey, does this look like Mr. Jun?" Jimin nudges Hoseok to show him a drawing of the teacher he doodled down during the boring class.

Hoseok looks at it, stifling a laugh. "You captured the grumpiness perfectly," he whispers and they break into choked laughter as Mr. Jun tells the class (mostly them) to be quiet with the same sour expression on Jimin's drawing.

During lunch, the atmosphere has completely changed compared to the previous week. Everyone was affected by Jimin's sad mood and now they are back to their normal, happy mood as Jimin is back to his normal, happy self.

"I'm so happy you're not sad anymore, Jiminie. It was getting unbearable not seeing you smile as often," Seokjin addresses, and the others agree immediately.

Jimin beams. "Yeah, I feel good," he hums, honest.

"That's good. You shouldn't let life throw shit at you. You know, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and all that," Yoongi says, stabbing a broccoli with his fork.

Jimin laughs, nodding. His eyes wander over the canteen, feeling watched. He finds Jeongguk's eyes, his smile slowly faltering as he remembers his mother's words but quickly shakes it off and looks away.

He won't let it get under his skin. He's going to make that damn lemonade.

Chapter Text

Sooyun was right.

Their father's bottled up anger exploding on Jeongguk would be a perfect description of what happened.

At least now it's over with, he figures.

Though, if Jeongguk was to say that he wasn't affected by his father screaming at him, it would be a lie.

Yeah, Jeongguk likes to try to piss Hyunwoo off by throwing parties and getting tattoos and piercings, but his father still has a big influence on him. The biggest influence. And getting scolded that harshly made him feel some sort of shame.

He was dragged to apologize to Jimin and it surprised him that Jimin tried to defend him. Not that Jeongguk showed it. And on Monday at school, Jimin looked happy. Not that Jeongguk was looking for him to see how he was.

His father is still mad at him. Or, better yet, he's disappointed. For some reason that is worse.

Jeongguk kind of regrets ever trying to anger him. Now he misses his father's happy, kind self that asks him about his day and wants to listen to him playing guitar.

Once again, his sister was right. Maybe he was immature—is. Is immature.

"Tae, do you think I'm immature?" Jeongguk asks Taehyung who's currently trying to get a small stain off his motorcycle.

He looks up at Jeongguk's words with an enthusiastic grin. "I'm so glad you asked, dude! I have voluntarily written a speech for this day– Ow!"

Jeongguk cuts him off with a harsh punch to his upper arm, which Taehyung is now holding with a pained expression.

"Just answer the question, idiot," Jeongguk huffs after Taehyung has punched him back.

"Is this about your dad lashing out?" Taehyung questions knowingly. "Have you finally realized that being happy is not actually a crime?"

Jeongguk scowls. "So you think I'm immature?"

"That part of you is. And your mindset about other people," Taehyung points out. "You don't even let people try to get to know you."

Taehyung straightens up and leans on the bike as he turns to Jeongguk. "Like, what? You're gonna live through me and your family all your life? You're gonna watch your dad and eventually Sooyun get married, hopefully to me, and just be happy for us? Do you not want that for yourself? You're gonna live alone in a big house with a cat or something? You don't even like cats. You seriously need to get over whatever fear you have." He shakes his head, turning back to his bike.

Jeongguk's frown deepens. "I'm not afraid, just– I just…"

"It's fine, Jeongguk. You don't have to explain it to me if you don't feel like you can be honest about it. Just think about it, yeah?" Taehyung cuts Jeongguk's untruthful words off, still focused on his bike.

Jeongguk slumps back against the wall he's leaning on, fishing up a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

Is he afraid?

No, afraid isn't it. He isn't scared of making new friends. He just has a hard time trusting people enough to reach that stage.

He knows how people can be. They can be fucking heartless. They can also involve too much heart and come to regret it later.

It's reckless to put your trust onto another person. You never know what's really going on inside their head. You never know what their intentions are and if they really care.

That's what his childhood has taught him. Elementary school and high school. His first and only ex-girlfriend. His own mother.

It's Friday morning, almost a week after the incident with Hyunwoo and Jimin and it's freezing cold in Taehyung's garage. Jeongguk is wearing a thick sweater under his leather jacket but his fingers still feel like they could crack like ice at any given moment. Smoking only helps to a certain point.

Their lessons start later than usual today and Jeongguk got to Taehyung’s early to avoid his house. His father is running around cleaning before he has to go to work because Areum and Jimin are coming over later. He told Jeongguk to help out, still giving him an attitude in response to his son’s own attitude, but Jeongguk just had to get away.

He knows that he has to adapt to this. He doesn't know why the thought of his father getting a girlfriend never crossed his mind. He was just always so devoted to raising him and Sooyun.

They are adults now, though. Of course Hyunwoo would find someone to keep him company when the twins are meant to be moving out within a few years.

No one wants to be alone. That's just how it works.

Jeongguk thinks back to what Taehyung told him. Everyone around him is moving forward while Jeongguk is standing still.

Maybe he should try love? Every girl can't be unbearable. There has to be someone that Jeongguk could feel comfortable talking to. Someone he could trust.

"Okay, let's extend our circle, or whatever," Jeongguk mumbles, kicking at a tool laying on the concrete floor.

Taehyung looks at him with raised eyebrows. "What?"

"You said I don't let people in."

Taehyung grins. "Yeah? You wanna make some friends?"

Jeongguk cringes. "That makes me sound like I'm five years old and incapable of making friends."

"Well, to be fair, the last time someone tried to befriend you, you ended up scaring them away by snapping at them for asking about your family," Taehyung points out.

"Yeah, well, they should have minded their own business." Jeongguk shrugs.

Taehyung shakes his head with a sigh. "This is what I'm talking about, man. To let someone in means sharing things about yourself."

Jeongguk puffs his cheeks in frustration. He doesn't want to make fucking friends.

"What about Jimin and his friends? They seem cool, right? And you still need to get along with Jimin so making friends with them would be a win-win situation," Taehyung suggests.

Jeongguk looks at him weirdly. "But. They're, like, the gay clique."

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at him. "So? Are you homophobic all of a sudden?"

Jeongguk scowls. This is the second time someone has asked him that question in the past week. His father was the other person, weirdly enough.

Hyunwoo asked him out of the blue a few days ago and Jeongguk never questioned why.

"No, I don't care," he answers, just like he did his father. "I just think they don't want people like us to invade their circle. They seem really close. Like, couple-close. That would make us third wheels. And they're younger."

Taehyung snorts. "Now you're just making excuses. If you're going to do this, you have to want to do it."

"Just. Not them, okay? I have to get a girlfriend, not a gay best friend," Jeongguk huffs, annoyed.

"Oh, so that's what this is about," Taehyung draws out the words with a grin, teasing.

"Shut up," Jeongguk groans. "I don't want to do anything, but I guess you were right earlier and... Yeah, whatever."

Taehyung is still grinning smugly and Jeongguk groans again, pushing the other.

"Okay, okay." Taehyung laughs. "Let's just get you a date, then."

Jeongguk scrunches his nose. "How?"

Taehyung flashes a boxy smile right before turning back to his bike. "Leave that to me."

Jeongguk frowns, wondering how the fuck Taehyung is going to do that, but shrugs it off nevertheless. "Whatever. Let's go to school. We'll already be late if we go now and Mrs. Choi threatened to give me extra homework if I ditch one more time."

The two of them get into Jeongguk's car and are only ten minutes late to class.

Jeongguk knows that his father is probably going to be pissed that he fled the house, but Jeongguk really needed this. He needs Taehyung just as much as he needs oxygen sometimes.

The day goes by painfully slow and by the time Jeongguk's last lesson comes along, he's dying to get out of the building. Music class is a must, though, so he drags himself there anyway.

He sits down where he, Jimin and Nari usually sit, nodding to the two mentioned when the latter utters an enthusiastic greeting and Jimin does a small wave.

Wednesday, they spent some time clearing some things up with who gets which part and which instruments they want and the rest Jeongguk just listened to Nari ranting and Jimin’s occasional laughter.

Jeongguk is growing more and more tired of the freshman while Jimin is seemingly doing the opposite.

"Picking a key is going to be the hardest part. We all have different ranges I think so it would be easier to try some out and see which works?" Jimin suggests.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's grab a guitar and go to one of the group rooms!" Nari stands up and runs over to the wall packed with guitars to take one down.

Jeongguk follows the two others into a smaller room and Nari hands him the guitar. Jeongguk tries it out and cringes at the badly tuned strings, quickly correcting them.

"Let's try the original first. Since it's a duet between a woman and a man, I think it might work for everyone," Nari suggests, searching for the chords on her computer.

Jeongguk looks at the tabs, pretending to read the chords as he experimentally plays the intro pretty effortlessly.

After making sure that he remembers how it's done, he looks up to see Nari busy warming up her voice and Jimin staring at him with parted lips.

"You're really–" Jimin clears his throat. "You're really good at that."

Jeongguk watches the boy fidget slightly and doesn't notice the small smile that has made its way onto his own lips. "Thanks."

Jimin nods before looking away, and Jeongguk thinks that he sees a blush on his cheeks. Maybe it's just the lighting.

"Everyone ready?" Nari asks then.

Jimin hums in affirmation and Jeongguk just starts playing the intro, not trying to think too much about having to sing in front of them. It's just an annoying freshman and his father's girlfriend's son. Who cares?

Nari starts with the first verse. Her voice is okay, a bit shrill and pitchy at times, but okay. It makes Jeongguk feel a lot better about himself. And then Jimin sings.

"I was made for loving you. Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through. Every bone screaming, I don't know what we should do. All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you."

Nari's high-pitched squeal makes Jeongguk flinch out of his daze and stop playing, looking up at the overly excited, blushing girl who is jumping up and down.

"Wah, Jimin oppa! You sound like an angel!" She exclaims with a large smile and Jimin blushes, thanking her quietly.

Jeongguk can't disagree with her. Jimin sounds like a real, practiced singer. His voice is soft and light but still strong and clear and the pitch is so unique Jeongguk wants to force him to attempt a career in this because it would be a real shame if the world didn't get to hear it.

"Continue, please," Jimin tells Jeongguk and the older one can only nod.

Playing a small intro, Jeongguk attempts the next verse which is thankfully in a lower pitch.

"Hold me close, through the night. Don't let me go, we'll be all right. Touch m–"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jimin stops him then, eyes big. "We need to change the way we split this. Jeongguk gets all Ed's parts when he harmonizes too and Nari takes Tori's part in the stick and I'll take Tori's harmonizing in the second chorus and then we can all take a line each in the last part and then all harmonize together on the last line," Jimin rambles like he was just enlightened by some higher power, eager to share his thoughts.

"I thought you and I were going to harmonize in the second chorus..." Nari says with a small frown, looking between the two older boys who are currently looking at each other. Jimin with sparkling eyes and Jeongguk with a confused, slightly freaked out, half-smile.

Jimin blinks and looks back to Nari. "But Jeongguk has the strongest vocals out of all of us, and he would be a much better Ed than me. I think it's going to be great! Can't we try it?" he asks them hopefully, looking to Jeongguk for approval.

Jeongguk can only nod at the hope in the other's eyes, still not quite understanding what he just went on about.

Jimin thinks he's a better singer than him? There is no way.

Nevertheless, they do it once more, then twice, and a third time. Jeongguk notices how Jimin is radiating excitement over how good they sound and Jeongguk can't help feeling a little excited himself. It's just the atmosphere in the room and how his and Jimin's voices fit so perfectly well (objectively) together and he's just a little too swept away to acknowledge that he's loosening up in this small room with two strangers.

"Shit, we're so getting an A plus on this," Jimin cheers, an exhilarated smile on his face, making his eyes disappear and his flushed cheeks look squishy. Jeongguk catches himself staring at that smile for way too long at times, but Jimin doesn't seem to notice and Jeongguk doesn't want to think about it.

"You think so?" Jeongguk questions, hoping that he's right because he could really use that for his grade.

Jimin nods eagerly. "I know it. We sound amazing," he assures. "Let's do it one last time before class ends."

Jimin high-fives them at the end and his hand is so small Jeongguk wants to take it into his and protect it from the world. Then he wants to hit himself with the guitar he's holding in the other hand.

When Jeongguk is finally out of the building, he realizes what he's been doing. He totally just let his guard down with someone other than Taehyung. All because of a stupid, innocent-looking, absolutely ethereal eye-smile that won't get out of his head even now.

What the fuck is wrong with him? It's like he's seeing Jimin for more than what he is. A guy.

And Jeongguk is not gay. A small man-crush on Taehyung when they were younger but that's it. He's attracted to girls. He's had a girlfriend—a relationship that ended horribly, but still—and he has sex with girls. It's never great and sometimes he prefers his own hand but that's just because he hasn't found the right one yet. 

But, then again, there was a time when he thought that he had found the one and still there were times he couldn't get it up for her, which was a big part of an ugly breakup. Isn't that kind of natural, though? You can't always be in the mood and nobody can touch you like yourself, right?

But then why is everything Jimin does so captivating? Why does Jeongguk think he's pretty? Why the fuck is he so distracted by another guy's lips? How did Jimin manage to sneak even a fraction of himself past Jeongguk's high, guarded walls?

⋆˚࿔

Jimin is walking on clouds on his way to the bus stop. There is a giddy feeling in his chest and he kind of just wants to squeal in happiness.

Jeongguk seemed to actually like him today. Or at least tolerate him. Either way it's definitely progress and Jimin welcomes it warmly.

Not only did that happen, but Jimin also got to hear him sing.

There is no way he could ever describe just how beautifully Jeongguk sings. There is no way. And on top of that, he looked ridiculously hot in his black sweater and baggy jeans. Jimin just wanted to jump onto his lap and kiss him stupid.

He greets the bus driver with a bright smile and, in turn, her smile gets bigger and genuine when greeting him back.

Jimin's mood hasn't dropped even a little bit when he arrives at home and his mother smiles immediately when she sees him.

"Good day?" she questions knowingly.

Jimin nods. "Amazing. I did well on my math test and I got along with Jeongguk in music class and our project is going really well!"

Areum pulls him into a quick hug and Jimin giggles as she seems more excited than himself.

"That's really good news, Jimin-ah! I guess Hyunwoo was right about Jeongguk not having anything against your sexuality, then. I'm so happy." She beams and hugs the younger one once more.

"When are we going over to them today? What should I wear?" Jimin asks, backing towards the stairs.

"We have to be there by seven. Just wear something comfortable and nice," Areum suggests and Jimin nods before going up to his room.

His mother’s relationship with Hyunwoo is going strong and will most likely last, and that also means Jeongguk is sort of his stepbrother.

Having the hots for your straight stepbrother is going to be tough, Jimin is pretty sure.

He is also pretty sure that his nonexistent chance to be with Jeongguk is going to be even more nonexistent when Jimin is not only of the wrong sex, but also his brother.

For Jimin... Well, Jeongguk is still as attractive to him as ever with his tattoos and dark eyes and the way he doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of him. Jimin is in a hopeless situation where he's already too smitten and can't seem to stop it. Actually, Jimin is hopeless. Period.

It's just... Jeongguk.

Jeongguk is just so interesting. He's mysterious and concealed and Jimin wants to get to know him. He has never wanted something more in his entire life.

He was so surprised today in music class when Jeongguk opened his mouth and started to sing. He almost lost his mind right then and there. 

He wants to know every little thing about Jeongguk. Everything from his past and his favorite color, to the dips and curves of his body and what his voice sounds like right when he has woken up in the morning.

He wants it all. He wants Jeongguk to open up to him and he wants a place in his heart.

Too bad Jeongguk won't let him.

Jimin's mood has slightly dropped by those thoughts as he looks through his closet for something to wear.

He decides on a pair of blue jeans and a white, soft sweater that makes him look pretty cute if he gets to say so himself. Then he combs through his hair quickly, knowing that it's just going to be messed up if he styled it, seeing as he will be running his hand through it many times tonight due to nervousness. He adds lipgloss, but he knows that it will also vanish in no time from biting his lips for the same reason.

After adding a finishing touch by putting in small hoops in his ears, he decides on distracting himself with homework until it's time to leave.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time today as his father shoos him away to change out of the clothes he wore to school. He does as told nevertheless, considering that he's not on the older man's good side right now.

He doesn't know what his father expects him to change into. He only has clothes similar to the ones he is wearing. He changes into black jeans without holes in them and a plain black T-shirt. He doesn't even attempt to tame his hair. He's got his mother's wavy-ish hair and there is not much to do except to leave it be or put it into a bun, which he only does when nobody except his family or Taehyung is around.

He pauses when his phone chimes and fishes it out to check the texts from Taehyung.

Dude I realized that I have
no idea what your type is anymore
since it didn't work out with Cho

You wanna try something different?

Jeongguk's lips curl downwards at the mention of his ex. Not that he's sad about it—it's just an uncomfortable subject.

In lack of a good response, Jeongguk ignores the message for now because he's not even sure he still wants to go through with the dating thing. The thought of sitting in a restaurant with a flirty girl asking him stuff kind of makes his skin crawl.

"Hey, baby bro," Sooyun greets him as she grants herself the liberty of entering her twin brother's room.

Jeongguk grunts in response, in the midst of trying to untangle a thin neck chain after leaving it to produce knots in his jacket's pocket.

"You okay?" Sooyun continues after flopping down on his bed and observing his frown for a while.

"Fine," Jeongguk mumbles, quickly putting the chain around his neck and sits down at his desk to open his laptop.

"Is that why dad sent me down here to check that you are doing as told?" 

Jeongguk huffs. "No, that's because his girlfriend's son got roofied at the party I was responsible for and now he thinks I'm going to fuck up everything I do," he vents, taking a long breath after saying it all in one exhale.

"Wow," Sooyun whistles from behind him, "better now?"

Jeongguk sighs. "No."

"Then tell me what's bothering you and I'll listen and give amazing advice, as always."

Jeongguk spins around in his chair to face his sister, pursing his lips.

"Go," Sooyun prompts, sitting up criss-cross and putting her elbow on her knee, chin in hand.

"I don't like that dad is disappointed in me," Jeongguk admits, knowing that he can tell Sooyun anything.

"I know I've always wanted to get him mad, but I wasn't ready to have him this disappointed in me. I guess it's because it affects his relationship and all." Jeongguk pauses to groan in distress. "Then there is that—dad will kill me if I don't play nice but I don't want to let anyone in."

Sooyun looks at him with sympathy. "I get it, Jeonggukie. I get why you have an issue trusting others, but life goes on. You can't just hide in this basement forever." She gestures around his room, and then to herself. "I mean, just look at me. I have Tae. I have my girls. None of them share any of my past, but they still support me and stay loyal. I share things about my life to new people every day at work and nothing has come back to bite me in the ass. I've learned to trust. If I can, you can too, you know?"

Jeongguk listens to her and tries to take everything to heart because his sister really gives good advice at times. He nibbles on his piercing as he thinks about it.

"Dad is like the only one who has been there for us and he needs us now. He's happy with this woman and I think that he's hurt that you're not even trying. So, please try?"

Jeongguk nods hesitantly at her pleading expression. He knows that it's true.

"I know that it's harder for you, but I believe in you, okay? You can move on if you really want to. Don't let your mind stop you, Jeongguk-ah. Prove that one idiot doctor wrong, yeah?" Sooyun continues, jumping off the bed to open her arms for Jeongguk. "Now come here and give me one of your famous bear hugs. I'm really missing them these days."

Jeongguk rolls his eyes with a chuckle as he gets up to embrace his sister in what she has always called ‘Ggukie's bear hugs’ because they're so tight and he always attempted to lift her up even back then when he was shorter than her.

She laughs as he now effortlessly lifts her for a couple of seconds before pulling back again.

"Thanks for the advice. I'll try harder, I promise."

Sooyun grins. "I know you will." She ruffles his hair before walking out of his room.

Jeongguk sighs as he slumps down into the chair again.

He's thankful for Sooyun. She has her moments when she takes on the role as his female role model and Jeongguk really needs that to add a different perspective.

He knows that he needs to try. It's just so fucking hard.

It's not that Areum or Jimin seem bad. It's just the whole idea of building bonds with new people. Mostly people his own age, like Jimin.

It was easy with Taehyung. They had similar backgrounds, similar values, similar behavior, and so on.

Jimin is from a whole other world. A different universe, even. At least Jeongguk figures that from what he has caught on.

Jimin is bubbly, talkative and bright. He has a lot of friends, and people like him. He trusts anyone he meets, which Jeongguk figured when the boy got roofied. He's naive and the opposite of Jeongguk. Jimin laughs a lot and has empathy for others all around him. Jeongguk once saw the blonde help a nerdy freshman when the latter had trouble opening her locker. Jeongguk would never do that in a million years. He wouldn't even have noticed the freshman struggling in the first place.

Opposites.

Opposites attract. Isn't that a saying? Like magnetic forces.

Is that why Jeongguk feels as if his eyes are being pulled toward Jimin when they're in the same room? He doesn't really want to know the answer because, frankly, he and Jimin are opposites in yet another aspect.

Jimin is gay. Jeongguk isn't.

If opposites attract Jeongguk will find a girl who is his opposite. There has to be plenty of goody two shoes at school and even more outside of it.

So Jeongguk texts Taehyung that he wants to try the opposite of Cho—who was even worse of a bad influence than them—and almost immediately gets a thumbs up and a wink emoji back, making him let out a small chuckle.

Maybe dating won't be that bad. It will be good practice for him and a bonus if he actually likes the person.

"Jeongguk!" his father calls for him from the opened basement door, and Jeongguk gets up on his feet to peek his head out and look up the stairs. "Set the table, will you?" Hyunwoo requests, and Jeongguk is glad to see a smile on his face even as they are making eye contact. Progress. It's probably because Areum and Jimin are arriving soon, but still.

"Yeah, sure."

Hyunwoo manages to fuss around for another fifteen minutes before the guests arrive. Jeongguk doesn't even know what the big deal is. The man has met Areum almost too many times over the past weeks and now he's suddenly all nervous.

Jeongguk stays seated at the kitchen table while his father welcomes them, attempting to do origami with the napkins in lack of better things to do without getting scolded.

He hears his father complimenting the woman and then he hears Jimin's voice. There is a weird feeling in Jeongguk's stomach as the voices approach, but he doesn't give it much thought.

"Hello, Jeongguk," Areum says as she sees him, a smile on her face.

"Hey," Jeongguk greets back, looking from Areum to Jimin who is entering behind her.

"Hi," the boy says with a smile full of white teeth, one of them a bit crooked.

He looks really happy and Jeongguk can't help but acknowledge that it's really cute. That's just a fact. One of his front teeth is a bit crooked and he looks really soft in the sweater he's wearing. 

"Hi," Jeongguk responds, giving a signature half-smile of his own.

"Sit down and let's eat while it's still hot. I'll get Sooyun," Hyunwoo announces with a grin, rushing to get his daughter.

"Do you have any designated seats, Jeongguk-ah? Are there any no-zones?" Areum questions with a slightly playful smile.

Jeongguk nibbles on his lip ring as he points to two of the chairs. "Sooyun usually sits there and dad there," he says, thankful that she bothered to ask that in case it would trigger him, which he thinks it in fact would have.

 Areum nods in understanding, sitting down in one of the other chairs, leaving the only one left beside Jeongguk.

Jimin doesn't seem to mind, though, as he sits down and pulls his legs up criss-cross to make himself comfortable. It makes Jeongguk feel more at ease, too.

"That's pretty," Jimin acknowledges, pointing to the water lily Jeongguk managed to form with the napkin.

Jeongguk stares at the misshaped flower for a few seconds before meeting Jimin's gaze.

"Thanks," Jeongguk mumbles, and he almost gets drawn into the dark brown of Jimin's eyes.

He can't look away just yet and watches as Jimin's attention is redirected to Sooyun entering the room. The younger boy’s jaw drops slightly.

"Hey, you must be Jimin! I'm Sooyun," Sooyun says with a smile as she approaches and Jeongguk's eyes snap to his sister and then down at the water lily again, embarrassed that he stared for so long.

"Yeah, hi, it's really nice to meet you. Your hair is... Oh my god. I want it," Jimin utters in awe as Sooyun and Hyunwoo sit down at the table. Jeongguk puts the water lily under his glass.

Hyunwoo tells them to go ahead and dig into the food and everyone starts picking out what to put on their plates. Him and Areum fall into a different conversation and Jeongguk is stuck between Jimin and Sooyun talking about hair.

Sooyun giggles at Jimin's reaction. "Thank you! I'll do yours if you want. You can get it done at the same time as your mom. She wants something new, as well," she says, her eyes gleaming when talking about something she's passionate about.

"You do it yourself? I'd love that! I'm getting a bit tired of the blonde. I've always wanted to try blue...or pink," Jimin ponders.

Sooyun lights up even more. "I think you could pull off any, but I'm really liking pink. I feel like it would fit your personality better. Not that I'm amazing at reading people. That's just the feeling I get."

Jimin beams. "You think so? I've wanted to for a long time but I'm kind of scared of everyone's reaction," he admits and Jeongguk is shocked by how honest he is when it's the first time he's ever even spoken to Sooyun.

Sooyun waves a hand in dismissal. "Who cares what others think. You should never let anyone come in the way of self expression. Just look at me. I'm happier than ever."

Jimin's smile gets even bigger. "You're right. You two have a really special vibe. It's cool." He looks between Sooyun and Jeongguk. "Have you ever dyed Jeongguk-ssi's hair?"

Sooyun laughs. "He'd rather die than let me do anything with his hair."

"Really? Why?" Jeongguk tenses visibly when Jimin reaches up and catches a strand of his hair with his index finger and Jimin's eyes widen at the reaction. "Sorry. I forgot, sorry."

Jeongguk watches Jimin retract his hand and look away, a blush on his cheeks. He wonders what exactly Jimin means. Forgot what?

Sooyun, who watches them with raised eyebrows, decides to address Jeongguk's thoughts, "What do you mean you forgot?" she questions, confused.

Jimin blushes harder, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. "I tend to be really touchy– Not touchy, but like... Yeah, touchy. I always get too close when I barely know the person and uh... That's just how I am, I guess. I'm really sorry."

Sooyun bursts out laughing at Jimin's ramble, and Jeongguk can't help a small grin from forming on his face because that is in fact a cute ramble.

"You're really cute, Jiminie. For me it's fine, but I'd watch out with Jeongguk if I were you. He might just get some anti-person reflex and bite you," Sooyun jokes, still chuckling and very amused.

Jeongguk sends her a glare before turning to Jimin. "I just wasn't expecting it."

Jimin just nods, cheeks still dusted pink.

Then they join their parents' conversation, and there is actually much laughter during the evening.

Jeongguk manages to get to know Areum better and determines that Jimin talks, pouts, blushes and giggles a lot.

Jeongguk is fairly quiet but still involved in the conversations. They all help clear the table and continue to talk after that. In the midst of it all he gets another text from Taehyung claiming that Jeongguk has a date tomorrow and wonders how the fuck Taehyung managed to do that so fast.

Sooyun eventually gets tired of sitting at the table and suggests that the three youngest go down to the basement. 

Sooyun and Jimin sit on the couch and Jeongguk hogs the loveseat. He spreads over it and scrolls through twitter while listening and occasionally joining in Jimin and Sooyun's many conversations as they get to know one another.

It's all going great until Sooyun just had to ask Jimin if he has a girlfriend. Jeongguk gives her a look, situated in her field of view and not Jimin's, which she is oblivious to as she is too interested in Jimin's answer.

"Oh, uh... I don't– I'm gay," Jimin stumbles a little over his words to get his point across.

Sooyun's eyes widen slightly before quickly apologizing. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think– I'm sorry for just assuming. That's so inconsiderate of me."

Jimin chuckles a little awkwardly. "That's okay. But no, I'm not in a relationship. I've had a few in the past but none of them lasted very long," he shares, voice losing some power.

"Can I ask what happened?" Sooyun questions. "Sorry if I'm pushy. I'm just really curious, and if you want I'll share my horror stories too!"

Jimin laughs, nodding. "Sure."

Sooyun squeals in excitement and Jeongguk finds himself almost leaning closer to catch every one of Jimin’s soft words.

"They're not really horror stories, though. I've just made the same mistake over and over." Jimin pulls his legs up to his chest, making him look really small.

"What mistake?" Sooyun wonders, leaning her chin in the palm of her hand as she listens.

"Starting something with closeted guys. The first time I thought it was exciting, sneaking around and stuff, but it gets really tiring in the end," Jimin explains and Sooyun nods.

"I can only imagine, but I bet it must be," she says, frowning slightly.

Jimin nods enthusiastically. "It is. The first time around I got sick of it because I felt like he was ashamed of me and ended it after about two months. The second guy was also closeted but promised that he would come out for me and blah blah. Never happened, so I had to break it with him, too. Third one was just confused and ended up cheating on me with a girl."

Sooyun gasps. "No way! That's horrible!"

"Yeah… After that, I swore myself off closeted guys and now I've been single for almost a year. I don't really know why I made that same mistake every time, but I guess I just wanted to love and be loved no matter the cost. It really wasn't worth it when I think back. I just had to break my own heart after each one." Jimin sighs, then looks up and lets out a breathy laugh at Sooyun's expression. "Sorry. I didn't mean for this to become a pity party."

Sooyun shakes her head. "Don't apologize. I asked for it."

Jimin just smiles and wiggles back further into the cushions.

"Those asshats totally didn't deserve you. Right, Jeongguk? Jiminie deserves someone who'll put their love on display for everyone to see," Sooyun declares, ruffling Jimin's hair.

Jeongguk startles at the mention of his name. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

He locks eyes with Jimin for a moment before the younger one looks away again.

"That means 'yeah, totally' in Jeongguk-language," Sooyun clarifies, mimicking Jeongguk's voice with a grin of approval.

Jimin smiles. "Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind, although old habits are really easy to fall back into..." His eyes find Jeongguk's again and Jeongguk almost drops his phone on his face. Was that intentional? Is the look Jimin is giving him the one of longing or is his mind playing tricks? If it is, what the hell does that even mean?

What is he even thinking, anyway? He's straight. It doesn't matter what that look means.

"I'll help. I'll give you my number so you can text me if you ever feel like falling back!" Sooyun offers, holding her hand out for Jimin's phone.

Jeongguk glances over to watch Jimin put his phone in Sooyun's hand, letting her put her number in his contacts. Jeongguk wonders what Jimin would set her contact name as. What would he set Jeongguk's as?

"There, now you can call me whenever you want," Sooyun says in triumph, handing Jimin's phone back to him.

"Thanks!"

All their heads turn towards the door when someone loudly walks down the stairs outside.

Hyunwoo's head peeks into the room a moment later, a large smile on his face as he sets eyes on them. "Hey! What are you kids doing?"

Sooyun shrugs. "Just talking. Jimin was just sharing the stories of his horrible exes."

Hyunwoo's eyebrows raise. "Really? You're in that stage already? I guess I underestimated you."

"Sure did." Sooyun nods. "Jiminie is really nice."

Hyunwoo's grin gets scarily big at that, according to Jeongguk at least, his eyes disappearing in pure joy. "That's great! What about you, Jeongguk?"

Jeongguk blinks up at the man. "What about me?"

"Do you agree?" Hyunwoo asks.

Jeongguk can see Jimin shifting uncomfortably in his peripheral vision and wonders why his father is bringing this up now, right in front of the boy.

"Yeah, sure," Jeongguk offers.

Before Hyunwoo can question any further, Sooyun steps in. "And that means 'yes, he's really nice' in Jeongguk-language."

Hyunwoo just continues smiling and nods. "Well, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Areum and Jimin are going back home now."

Jimin stands up and smiles at Sooyun. "It was nice talking to you, Sooyun-ssi," he says and then looks at Jeongguk. "You too, Jeongguk-ssi."

Jeongguk nods once, looking away.

“You, too!” Sooyun pulls Jimin into a quick hug which Jimin happily returns. "I'll tell you my ex-stories next time, promise. And, please, call me noona."

“Okay, Sooyun noona.” Jimin smiles, giving a small wave before following Hyunwoo out.

Sooyun is in Jeongguk's space in mere seconds, jumping on him and ending up sitting across his torso. "He's so sweet!"

Jeongguk groans and moves so Sooyun slides into the space between him and the backrest, her legs draped over his stomach.

"And nice! And interesting! And pretty!" Sooyun continues to exclaim, hitting Jeongguk's chest with her palm at every adjective.

"Can you not?" Jeongguk asks, taking her wrist and shoving it to her side.

"Ugh, you're no fun!" Sooyun complains, flicking her brother's forehead. "You can't possibly come with any argument not to love him."

Jeongguk looks at her for a moment, at a loss for a comeback and she grins in victory.

"Finally someone who'll crack your little shell. I've been waiting for ages."

Jeongguk scowls. "He won’t. But he's...tolerable. I guess."

Sooyun huffs. "Tolerable, my ass. He's a complete sweetheart and you know it."

"Whatever."

"I still feel bad for assuming his sexuality, though." Sooyun frowns. "Did you know?"

Jeongguk looks at her in disbelief. "You're just blind, sis. He wears lip gloss."

Sooyun frowns. "Straight guys can wear lip gloss...but, yeah, I guess you're right. That's an indicator, at the least. I didn't think. I hope he didn't get offended."

"Yeah, can you get off me now?" Jeongguk groans, trying to get Sooyun's legs away from him.

Sooyun moves off of the love-seat, taking her sweet time to crush Jeongguk in the process.

"You're so boring, Jeongguk-ah. You need to start living a little," Sooyun says as she stands up, displeased.

Jeongguk pouts, and his sister just shakes her head with a small smile before walking out.

He is boring, isn't he? He needs to start showing that he actually gives a shit, because he does. Sometimes. 

Jeongguk was really interested earlier when Jimin was talking about an incident where one of his friends once broke a bone in order to win a game of The Floor is Lava to decide who gets the last cheeto. He wanted to point out how cute it is how Jimin falls onto something when he laughs hard. And he felt really bad for Jimin when he told Sooyun about his exes.

He realized that Jimin has been hurt by multiple people—even hinted at getting bullied—but he's still so open to new people. It's kind of inspiring to Jeongguk. He wants to ask Jimin how he does it. Wants to tell him how strong he is for not letting it get under his skin when he is let down. Like it did with Jeongguk.

Maybe, one day, he will.

⋆˚࿔

The next day, Jimin has the house to himself—his mother is on a weekend trip to some fancy hotel with Hyunwoo—so he and his friends have a sleepover.

Jimin puts inflatable mattresses in the living room where the coffee table usually is so that two of them can sleep on the sofas and three on the mattresses. It's a very cozy setup seeing as it's like one big bed and they can easily cuddle. By six o'clock, everyone is comfortable with various kinds of snacks and a movie.

"How did it go yesterday, Minie?" Hoseok asks, none of them paying much attention to the movie. They would rather talk instead.

"It went really well. Jeongguk's sister is so cool. She has blue hair and she's really easy to talk to." Jimin grins as he remembers the several hours he spent just talking to her.

His friends all look at him with matching expressions of surprise.

"What?" Jimin questions around a mouthful of gummy bears.

"I thought you were going to talk about Jeongguk! Have you moved on to his sister now, or what's with the change?" Yoongi words their thoughts.

"Oh," Jimin exhales softly, "I guess I'm just starting to acknowledge the fact that he's very straight and now also viewed as part of the family for my mom... I can't be hung up on an unattainable guy for the rest of my good years. And I'm still very much gay so I'm not 'moving on to his sister'."

Jimin chuckles slightly and then glances around at his quiet friends. He smiles when Namjoon puts a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you have to give up on him, even if he was never really someone you could have. I do think that it's best if you can get over him before you're in it too deep and end up hurt," Namjoon says carefully, and Jimin nods in silent agreement.

"If you're happy, we're happy, Jiminie. Jeongguk might not be able to control his sexuality, but he's an idiot if he can't see your awesomeness," Seokjin agrees with a playful smile.

"It's fine. I'm not really sad or anything. Sure, it sucks but…like you said, I can't blame him for being straight. I'll just find someone better." Jimin shrugs, smiling.

He seriously doubts that there is anyone like that, but fake it 'til you make it, right?

"That's my Jiminie!" Seokjin calls out, ruffling Jimin's hair while smiling proudly.

"Yeah, screw hets. They're boring, anyways," Hoseok jokes.

"But you still have to be friends with him, right? How do you feel about that? How did it go with him yesterday?" Namjoon wonders.

"It went...well. I think. He actually spoke and smiled in music class, and his singing is absolutely magical. You should have heard," Jimin says dreamily.

Hoseok laughs. "I think there is a long way to go before you're over him, Jiminie. But you can do it! We believe you."

Jimin laughs with them, then huffs playfully, "It's not like I can just switch off my attraction to him overnight! He's still fucking hot. Straight or not, stepbrother or not."

"Well damn. Good luck, Chim. You'll need it," Yoongi says with an amused, knowing look.

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Jimin giggles.

He's surprisingly not sad at all. Maybe it's because he has just realized that he seriously needs to get over Jeongguk and has barely started trying yet, just thinking it will work out fine in his head. Or maybe it's because, deep down in his subconsciousness, there is a small part of him that knows that he'll never succeed either way. 

Nevertheless, Jimin is not sad and he doesn't want to be either.

⋆˚࿔

Meanwhile, Jeongguk is in a similar but different situation.

He's on a date with a girl that is bubbly and sweet and doesn't ask too personal questions.

Even though he wasn't expecting this to go well, he's not exactly hating it. Maybe it's because he just started trying this socializing thing and has mentally forced himself to tolerate it. Maybe he's too busy trying not to compare her to Jimin.

It's not that she's much like him. She's talkative and smiles a lot, yes. But…she talks about horses and poetry, Jimin talks about music and tells stories about his friends. She smiles with deep dimples, Jimin smiles with his eyes. She has long and shiny hair that gets in the way all the time, Jimin has blonde, fluffy and short hair that Jeongguk wants to run his fingers through. She eats slowly and neatly, Jimin stuffs his face. She wears denim jackets and mascara, Jimin wears fluffy sweaters and lipgloss. She has thin and dainty fingers, Jimin has small and chubby ones. 

Jeongguk can learn to care about her. He can.

He can learn to care about Jimin, too.

Maybe he already does. Maybe a bit too much to be normal for him.

"I have to get home soon to feed Misty, but I'd love to do this again! Maybe you can come with me to the reading next week? I'll be participating..." the girl, Minji, says after a few hours of eating and talking. There is a shy smile on her lips and a small blush on her cheeks that has been there for the majority of the night.

Jeongguk blinks at her while slurping up the last of his drink through the straw. "A what?"

"A poetry reading! I told you about it, remember? There will be a small contest with judges and everything. It means a lot to me so if you want to continue this I think you should come at least once," Minji explains.

Jeongguk takes a breath. They have been on one date and he has no interest in poetry whatsoever. Nevertheless, he nods. He can do this.

"Okay, sure."

Minji beams. "Really?! I mean, great! I'll text you and-and maybe you can pick me up? I'd offer to drive you there but I don't have a license, so..." she rambles, and Jeongguk suppresses the instinct of feeling sorry for her. She seems a bit insecure. Jeongguk appreciates confidence.

"I'll drive," Jeongguk states and doesn't acknowledge Minji's swooning gaze as he gestures over a waitress to get the check.

When Jeongguk pulls up to the girl's house to drop her off, he gets out too. It's sort of a habit from his relationship with Cho—one he thought he had forgotten about long ago. She always demanded him to be a gentleman and walk her to the door where he would kiss her goodbye after their dates. It always ended in getting lured into the house but Jeongguk has tried his best to at least forget that part.

Minji seems beyond happy when realizing that Jeongguk is treating her with such manners. It makes her find courage to sneak her hand into his as they walk to her front door. Jeongguk can't say that he likes the intimate gesture. 

"I had fun today..." Minji breaks the silence as they reach her porch. "I really like you. You're a little scary, but I find it...intriguing."

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows slightly at the information of her finding him scary and it makes him find her less interesting. The idea of her being afraid of him is nothing but a turn off.

"Yeah, I'll see you," Jeongguk murmurs, wanting to ignore the hope in her big eyes but leans down to place a quick kiss on her cheek regardless.

"Goodnight," She breathes out with a large smile and deep blush as Jeongguk lets go of her hand and walks back to his car.

Jeongguk breaks a few traffic laws while driving home. There is frustration building up in his chest, making his shoulders tense and head ache.

He doesn't know why he feels no attraction towards Minji whatsoever. There is no reason for him not to. She's beautiful and nice. He should feel some kind of pull. He should have felt interested while she spoke about her hobbies. His heart should have beat a bit faster when they touched. He should have wanted to kiss her.

"Fuck!" Jeongguk hisses as he parks his car and aggressively punches the steering wheel.

There is something wrong with him, and he has no idea what to do about it.

With Cho he really thought that he was normal again. After years of questioning why he never had gotten a girlfriend, he finally found someone he thought he liked. Someone like him.

She was reckless and her past was worse than Jeongguk's. In theory, they should have been able to heal together. But the match turned out to be the opposite. Toxic.

Cho liked to control and manipulate. Jeongguk was desperate and stupidly fell for it.

She made him believe that he loved her and that she loved him back, when in reality all she wanted was to get him in bed.

When she got what she wanted, she realized how difficult Jeongguk was for her to arouse. She tossed him after several attempts, accusing him of lying about loving her. Later on, Jeongguk learned just how many guys she was using at the time and now he feels nothing for that part of his life or her. He just tries to repress it.

But—after her, Jeongguk changed.

He started to have sex just to prove to himself that he could. That he works. He still does, but at that time he was careless about it. He hurt more people than he can count and didn't give a shit. He was selfish and only cared about proving a meaningless point to himself—one that felt so vital at the time.

It didn't work more times than it actually made him feel better, and that made it worse for him. He started to think that maybe there is something wrong with his body, or his mind.

Sooyun and Taehyung were really worried about him. They made sure Hyunwoo took him to a psychologist, which turned into numerous doctors who took tests on him.

One of them was sure that he had ASPD. Antisocial personality disorder. He said that Jeongguk didn't have to show all symptoms to be diagnosed as a sociopath—that the lack of empathy was all that mattered and was proof enough.

But Jeongguk is empathetic. Just not to everyone. And he knows boundaries. He knows that actions have consequences. Sometimes he just overlooks them. He doesn't use his ‘charm ' to manipulate people into hurting themselves.

He may be a bit arrogant and sometimes aggressive, but it's not to the extent of a full blown personality disorder.

Other doctors said that he had traces of ASPD and advised him to go to therapy.

The one psychologist that he actually opened up to about his life said that it was just a phase in his life where he was mad at the world and that it was a natural life crisis. When he got out of it he would be stronger and wiser. He would know more about himself and he would have the answers he needed.

If she was right, it turned out to be one hell of a long phase.

After all that, he started drinking and getting high. He was about 17 by then. Everything felt less complicated when his mind was a slow blur.

He realized that it was his salvation. When he's high, he's less fucked up. It's like all worries about being broken or lost just escapes his mind with the smoke that escapes his lips.

Right now he really needs that, because the thoughts he is always trying to suppress about never really feeling anything for anyone he has ever been with, sexually and romantically, are resurfacing rapidly. The knowledge that he's unable to fucking feel is swimming around his head and it's making him want to punch something more fragile than the steering wheel. Something that will break.

He exits the vehicle and digs after relief in his pocket while walking to the front porch. He breathes in the toxins deep, then repeats until his breathing is steady and his muscles are no longer stiff.

He can learn to care about her. He will.

Chapter Text

On Wednesday, Jimin, Nari and Jeongguk continue practicing and Jimin is almost jumping with excitement over how good they sound. Mostly over how good Jeongguk sounds.

As class is ending, though, his mood drops when Nari asks him a question.

"Oppa, there is a new movie in the theaters that seems really good... Do you want to go with me?" She asks with a smile, eyes filled with hope as she looks at him.

Jimin slows down, coming to a halt near where Jeongguk is standing on his phone, probably waiting for Taehyung, but doesn't notice him listening in on their conversation since he is busy panicking in his mind.

"I– Um... Are you asking me on a date?" Jimin asks carefully.

His heart drops when Nari nods quickly, still beaming and seemingly oblivious to Jimin's inner misery.

"Nari-ah... I think you've gotten the wrong impression," Jimin begins, cautious while still trying to be clear and get his point across. "I see you as a friend, nothing more."

Nari’s smile drops slightly. "But you haven't even given me a chance."

Jimin fidgets, gulping thickly before taking a deep breath. "I'm not into girls, Nari. I'm sorry if I gave you any other signals. I thought you knew..."

Nari's eyes widen at that, and Jimin curses inside his head as tears flood her eyes.

"Oh... I didn't know! I’m sorry," she hurries to apologize before turning on her heel and speed-walking down the hallway, wiping at her eyes.

Jimin stares at the spot where she just stood, dumbstruck.

This has never happened to him. He thought everyone in this school knew that he is gay. He thought that it was obvious. Is it not?

"That was rough."

Jimin turns his head to the sound of Jeongguk’s voice and finds him leaning against the wall a few meters away, arms crossed, as he meets Jimin's eyes.

"I-I... It was horrible," Jimin breathes out, embarrassed to be blinking away tears of his own.

"Never happened to you?" Jeongguk questions and Jimin turns to him completely, walking a little closer.

"No, I thought everyone here knew..." Jimin trails off, still in shock at what just happened. "Did I– Did I break her heart?"

Jeongguk hums. "Hard to say. She's been pretty obvious with crushing on you during music, I guess. I think breaking her heart is a little too far, though. You let her down gently, in my opinion."

Jimin inhales deeply and nods, a small smile forming on his lips as he notices that this is probably the most Jeongguk has ever said to him. And the first time they are having a conversation just the two of them.

"What?" Jeongguk questions, and Jimin snaps out of his little trance.

"O-Oh, nothing! You’ve just never said that many words to me in one go," Jimin admits, still smiling.

Jeongguk blinks at him once before cracking up, letting out a short laugh that makes butterflies erupt in Jimin's belly.

"Better get used to it. Our parents seem to be very serious about each other, don't you think?" Jeongguk says while moving his weight off of the wall to pull his jacket down from where it was slinged over his shoulder, shrugging it on in a way that is unfairly attractive to Jimin.

"Yeah, I guess they are," Jimin agrees, chewing on his bottom lip as he grows nervous with the conversation they are having.

Is Jeongguk trying to tell him that he doesn't really want to have anything to do with him but feels forced to talk to him because of their parents?

"I'll see you around, Jimin," Jeongguk says then, voice sounding a bit faraway as he looks away from the younger one and walks out of the building.

Jimin watches his back disappear in silence, trying to comprehend what just happened in the span of five minutes.

His head spins a little as he walks in the direction of the bus. He feels awful for rejecting Nari and he has very mixed feelings about his short conversation with Jeongguk.

He walks slowly on his way out of school, replaying the events in his head, the words like a song on repeat.

Is that how Jeongguk would let him down if he confessed? Gently?

He gives the bus driver a smile on his way in and it's an old man today. He stays grumpy as he nods at Jimin. The blonde pouts to himself as he chooses a window seat in the front with two seats facing the row he's sitting in, not acknowledging the person in front of him before said person speaks.

"Why the long face?"

Jimin looks up to be met with soft, brown eyes and a gentle smile.

"Um, nothing." Jimin blinks at the boy, feeling a little surprised about a stranger talking to him. It usually doesn’t happen.

The other tilts his head to the side, studying Jimin. "Have I met you before?"

Jimin shakes his head. "No, I don't think so..."

The stranger has a pretty face. High cheekbones and plump lips. His hair is silvery gray, complimenting his dark eyes. He looks to be Jimin's age. Maybe a bit older.

The boy thinks for a moment longer before nodding with a chuckle. "You're probably right. I would have remembered, I believe. I'm Taemin."

Jimin looks at the extended hand with widening eyes, acting on instinct as he shakes it. "Jimin."

Something seems to click in the boy’s, Taemin's, mind as a look of realization paints his features.

"Were you at a dance camp, summer 2018?" he asks with a smile that shows a row of perfectly straight teeth.

Jimin studies the boy with big eyes, nodding. "Yeah, but I–"

"You got sick the first week and had to leave," Taemin fills in with an amused grin. "I remember you. You wore a different scarf every day."

Jimin feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the reminder of his old fashion adventures to find his own style. That one was far from the worst, though.

"Don't remind me," Jimin complains while Taemin grins. "They were hideous."

"I thought they were cute, in a way. I could tell that it wasn't really you, but it was still brave of you to try. You made an impression on me even though you had to leave early, so that must count for something." 

Jimin can't help but to smile at the honesty, and he feels bad for not remembering Taemin.

"Sorry... I don't remember you. I don't really remember much at all from that camp. I guess I've tried to repress the whole scarf-era," Jimin chuckles slightly, and Taemin laughs. Jimin likes his laugh. It's subtle, but really genuine-sounding.

"It's okay. I didn't stand out at all back then," Taemin smiles, leaning back further into his seat, "I was the type to follow others' lead to fit in, so I don't blame you. I'd like to think that I've found myself now, though."

Jimin watches the steady smile on Taemin's face and admires how he carries himself with pride. His outfit is very out there, as well—in a very good way.

"I can tell." Jimin smiles. "I can't believe this coincidence, though. There were people from all over the country at that camp."

"It's destiny, I guess. Can I have your number? Just in case this is a sign."

Jimin laughs. "Sure, why not."

Taemin smiles as Jimin puts his number into his phone. "You've grown into yourself too, by the way. You look comfortable in your own skin without all the scarves," he says playfully and Jimin laughs.

"Thanks... I am. I was sad when one of my friends threw the scarves out, but I guess it was a step closer to self-love. The scarves weren't even my worst phase, though," Jimin smiles as Taemin chuckles.

"I'm off at the next stop, but I'd love to hear all about your fashion disasters some other time,” Taemin offers as he moves to stand up.

"Hey! You said it was cute," Jimin laughs.

"See you around, Jimin," Taemin calls over his shoulder, amusement lingering in the words.

Jimin smiles the rest of the way home. Nari and Jeongguk are completely wiped off of his mind and all he can think about is how the new face on the bus had just brightened up his entire mood.

But when he has fetched a glass of water and is eventually sprawled out on his bed, his mind has the time and space to travel back to everything.

He got asked out by a girl for the first time in his life and had to turn her down. Jimin doesn't think that he'll ever be able to forget the devastation in her eyes as her whole face fell.

And on top of that, it was Nari.

He had just learned to actually enjoy the freshman's company and now he's the reason for her tears. Had he been leading her on without realizing? He can't remember. Jeongguk said that she had an obvious crush on him. Why hadn't he noticed?

He was probably too busy ogling at Jeongguk to realize.

It makes Jimin slightly annoyed how Jeongguk just captures all of his attention as soon as they are in the same room, and maybe even when they're not.

Jimin smiles when he hears his mother get home, then Hyunwoo's voice too. They are together every vacant moment and they're so in love that Jimin would be able to see it from miles away.

He wants that.

Is it too much to ask for an openly gay guy who's actually single and nice and does something to his heart?

It probably is.

Later that night, Jimin gets a text from an unknown number.

Hi :)

Jimin is confused for a second before realizing who it might be.

Is this Taemin?

Yeah

I figured why have your
number if you don't have mine
as well so we can text

Oh... Hi :)

Do know this cafe?

Jimin looks at the photo Taemin sent him and smiles. It's one of his favorites.

Yes, I go there after school
sometimes

Why?

Meet me there this Saturday
at four?

I can't wait for destiny to bring
us together again to hear about
the many cute fashion disasters

A giddy feeling settles in Jimin's stomach. It kind of feels like...a date.

Is he being asked on a date? For the second time in one day? Is his outfit cuter than usual today, or what's happening?

Jimin texts back that he’d love to, but doesn't have the guts to ask if it’s a date. What if Taemin isn't even into guys? Jimin just got that vibe, and even if his gaydar is pretty on point, he does not want to assume.

Anyway, it would be weird and way too early to go on dates now. They don't even know each other's last names.

He'll just stay open minded.

And if it is a date to Taemin, Jimin will have to be honest about his attraction to another. Because even if Jimin has to get over Jeongguk and is in fact planning to, he's not there yet and he would hate to use someone as a rebound.

⋆˚࿔

"A stranger from the bus asked you to meet him alone and you agreed to it?!"

Jimin groans at the fuss Seokjin and Hoseok are making.

"He's not a stranger. We went to the same dance camp some years ago," Jimin points out and is met with disbelieving looks.

"Which you don't remember anything from."

Jimin pouts. "Yeah, well, it's not like we're going to be completely alone. There will be people all around us so he can't murder me, if that's what you're worried about."

Seokjin nods. "Yeah, people and me and Hobi in disguise at the table next to you."

Hoseok nods in agreement as Jimin's eyes widen.

"No! You're not going there, guys~! Don't make me regret telling you this," Jimin exclaims, pleading.

"Jimin is right, babe. Let him go on a harmless date," Namjoon, who was previously sitting quietly reading a book, advises.

Jimin nibbles on his lip uncertainly. "It's not a date."

Yoongi snorts. "Says the one who smiles like an idiot every time he gets a text from a certain someone."

Jimin blushes. Maybe he has been texting Taemin non-stop since last night. It's not Jimin's fault that the guy is really funny.

"It's still not a date. At least not a confirmed one," Jimin protests, because it's not.

"Yeah, we believe you, but it might escalate to that quickly and then you need to be ready to–"

"Don't worry so much! I'll tell him about my feelings for Jeongguk if it comes to that. Have a little faith." Jimin feigns offense.

Hoseok nods. "Yeah, okay. I believe you."

Jimin smiles when the others agree, dropping the subject for now.

The library isn't crowded after lunch on Thursdays, so they often go here to talk without having to raise their voices because of the constant noise in the hallways. There is a group of sofas and armchairs in one of the corners, hidden by shelves, that they like to take over.

Nerdy students are mostly the only ones who enter here besides them—who sometimes send them dirty looks for occupying the best part of the library—so that's why Jimin is beyond surprised when he catches sight of black jeans and tattooed arms extending out of a band T-shirt.

Taehyung eventually catches his surprised gaze and grins. "Oh. Hey, tiny!"

His loud, deep voice earns a short scolding from the librarian, to whom Taehyung shoots an apologetic, charming smile.

Jimin blinks at the older boy, in shock of even being addressed as Taehyung walks over and flops down in one of the vacant armchairs.

"How's it going?" Taehyung questions, not seeming to care that all five of them are looking at him as if they're seeing a martian.

"Um, good? What are you doing in the library?" Jimin asks, then quickly adds, "Not that that's...weird. That's not weird at all."

Taehyung chuckles, amused. "You're really bad at lying."

That earns a laugh from Hoseok. "Right? He's hopeless."

Jimin sends Hoseok a glare, to which Hoseok responds with a kissy face.

Taehyung grins. "Yeah, you'll have to work on that for when Hyunwoo asks you about taking his snacks," he informs, pointing at Jimin in warning. "If you get caught doing that, hell will break loose. Learned that the hard way."

Jimin giggles, a little surprised that Taehyung mentioned Jeongguk's father. "I believe you."

Taehyung nods, pleased. "Good. I'm just here because I lost my English book… And my history book," he explains, shrugging with a sheepish grin.

"And why are you talking to Jimin?" Yoongi questions bluntly, looking up from his phone.

Taehyung just shrugs again, not phased by the lack of emotion in Yoongi's voice. "I like him. He's cute. And you all seem pretty cool. Don't tell Gguk I said that, though. He's a grump-troll when it comes to..." Taehyung trails off, thinking, "well, most people."

"Why?" Seokjin finds the liberty to ask, curious and always nosey.

Taehyung hums for a moment. "I think that it's not my place to tell you that."

Seokjin nods, disappointed by the lack of gossip.

"Tae, are you in here?"

Jimin perks up at the sound of Jeongguk's voice coming from the other side of the library, then a familiar scolding from the librarian.

Taehyung grins. "Speaking of the devil," he says, then calls back, "Yeah, over here!"

"I thought you didn't want him to know that you're talking to us," Yoongi point out when Taehyung doesn't move from his spot.

"He needs practice," is all Taehyung says, a boxy grin on his lips.

Jimin frowns as his heart picks up from the sound of Jeongguk's approaching footsteps. Practice of what?

"Hey, man," Taehyung greets when Jeongguk comes into view.

Jeongguk's gaze sweeps over the group, a small crease between his eyebrows. Jimin tries to hold in a small panicking-session over how hot he looks.

"What're you doing? I thought you were just getting some books." He looks at Taehyung who is still half-laying over the armchair.

"Yeah, I was. Then I found Jiminie and his friends. Sit down," Taehyung says, patting the arm of the sofa Jimin is sitting on the other end of.

"Yeah, you're welcome to join our very interesting conversation about the consequences of mass surveillance," Hoseok offers, pointing to the book Namjoon is reading.

Jeongguk blinks at Hoseok while the latter just grins, Seokjin snorting in the background.

Jimin clears his throat, an uncontrollable grin on his face as well. "He's not– We weren't talking about that. He's kidding."

Jeongguk looks at Jimin and nods once, a small smile forming on his face before it's quickly gone. He turns to Taehyung again.

"Let's go. Class starts in five."

Taehyung snorts. "When have you ever cared to be on time? Sit your ass down for one second."

Seokjin bursts into delighted laughter and Jimin bites the inside of his cheek so as not to laugh as well.

But then Jeongguk looks at Seokjin and lets out a laugh of disbelief. "That's the strangest laugh I’ve ever heard."

Jimin can't help but let out a giggle when Hoseok starts laughing, too. Taehyung grins as Jeongguk finally sits down on the couch.

"It is super weird," Hoseok wheezes in his laughing fit and the librarian seems to have given up now that Hoseok has started, too.

"It's cute," Namjoon objects, putting a hand on the back of his boyfriend's neck, squeezing gently.

"I'm happy to entertain," Seokjin says, leaning back into Namjoon's touch.

Jimin looks at Jeongguk who is perfectly in his field of view, since Jimin is curled up against the armrest with his body turned to the older one. He observes as Jeongguk watches the couple with some curiosity behind his eyes before looking at Taehyung who is speaking.

"We were actually talking about how bad Jiminie is at lying. And that he needs to learn before he steals your dad's snacks," Taehyung explains and Jeongguk frowns.

"What’s dad got to do with this?" Jeongguk asks, voice cold.

Taehyung sighs. "Relax. I just told them about the time I got scolded for not being a good enough liar," he reassures, and Jeongguk just leans back in the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jimin attempts not to stare at the veins running along his exposed forearms and tries to think rational thoughts instead.

Is Jeongguk that protective of his family? His voice was so harsh just now. And that's to his best friend.

Taehyung purses his lips as he looks from Jeongguk to the others. "Sorry, he's on his man-period. We should hang out sometime when he's cheerier."

Jimin and Seokjin look at Namjoon who pushes his glasses up and shrugs. "Yeah, sure."

Taehyung grins. "Great! This Saturday?"

Jimin is about to say that he's busy then when Hoseok cuts him off with a mischievous smile, "Jiminie has a date this Saturday," he says, wiggling his eyebrows before continuing, "but we can do tomorrow after school."

Jimin wants to complain and say for the nth time that it's not a date, but his eyes meet Jeongguk's and all words leave his mind. He can't even hear Taehyung as he answers Hoseok.

Jeongguk's gaze on him is so intense it sends shivers through Jimin's whole body and he doesn't know if Jeongguk is even aware of the way he's looking at him.

But then the eyes are gone and Jeongguk stands up, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek and flicking over his lip ring in a way that's so sexy Jimin's knees begin to feel weak even though he's sitting down.

"We're late enough now. Let's go."

Jeongguk's tone allows no room for opposition and Taehyung sighs before standing up.

"Bye, dudes. Bye, tiny," Taehyung calls out behind him as he follows an ill-tempered Jeongguk out of the library.

"What was that?" Yoongi questions, looking at Jimin.

Jimin gulps, blinking out of his daze. "I-I don't know."

"Does he have anger issues? Mood swings?" Seokjin wonders aloud.

"Sure seemed like it," Yoongi hums, "or maybe Taehyung was right about the man-period."

Seokjin snorts and Namjoon smiles. "Guess we'll see tomorrow."

⋆˚࿔

"I told you that I didn't want it to be them!" Jeongguk huffs as he walks out of school with Taehyung.

"But why the fuck not? They're cool!" Taehyung argues, tired of Jeongguk giving him an attitude ever since the conversation at the library.

"I've told you why! You shouldn't have fucking gone against me and asked them to hang out!"

Taehyung stops near his motorbike and looks into Jeongguk's equally pissed off eyes. "So I should just go with whatever you want and ignore what I want? Like your fucking lapdog? Why are you even acting up about this? You're not really on your period so what is it?"

Jeongguk puffs out a long breath, trying to calm his temper. He has heard the word period too many times today.

"I don't fucking know. Sorry," Jeongguk sighs, running a hand over his face. "I didn't mean that you shouldn't do what you want. But you could have just kept me out of it."

"Well, sorry for just wanting to help you make some more friends," Taehyung says, sarcasm lacing his voice.

Jeongguk feels his anger turn into something more similar to defeat. "You know me, Taehyung. You know that it's not that easy for me."

"I do, but I really think that this will be good. For both of us, but mostly you. You're so stressed lately and I know that it's because people are entering your life without your permission. But to be honest—that's life, Jeongguk." 

Taehyung sounds almost frustrated as he continues, "People come and go and sometimes you can't control it. You just adapt and try to enjoy the ride. I'm trying to get you to be a little open minded."

"Everyone isn't out to get you, man. Anyway, how will you know if you don't put yourself out there? I know you have, and I know that it turned out ugly, but maybe this is your time. You thought Minji seemed nice, right? That's a good thing! Maybe karma is on your good side this time around," Taehyung finishes with a pat on Jeongguk's shoulder, hope in his eyes.

Jeongguk is at a loss for a response for a moment, meeting Taehyung's searching gaze.

"I guess..." he finally says silently, feeling heavy. He's already had this conversation with his sister and to be having it again without any progress makes him feel like a failure. It almost feels like he's a toddler and his friends are his parents.

Taehyung smiles gently. "Yeah? You'll come tomorrow?"

Jeongguk nods, nibbling at his piercing.

“Good, because I was thinking we could hang at your house.” Jeongguk is about to protest so Taehyung quickly continues with a playful smile, "You think you can try not to death-glare at anyone this time?"

Jeongguk huffs, pushing Taehyung towards his bike. "Fuck off. I didn't death-glare," he says, walking to his car

"You definitely did. I hope they'll look past it because of your man-period," Taehyung calls after him.

Jeongguk flips him off, hearing a muffled chuckle before Taehyung's bike roars to life and takes off.

Jeongguk drives after Taehyung for the first few blocks before parting ways to go home.

Jeongguk himself doesn't even know why he had such a short fuse today. He has felt on edge all week. Ever since the date with Minji. Today it had its peak, he guesses. It's probably because of the fact that he agreed to go to her reading today and the anxiety that comes with not smoking for a few days.

When Taehyung brought up his father something was stirred inside of him and then when Jimin's friend said that Jimin has a date it provoked a whole storm, which is really freaky.

It was almost as if Jeongguk wanted to snap and ask who and why and what they will be doing, which is also odd. And idiotic. Because why would Jeongguk react like that? What Jimin does is none of Jeongguk's business. They're not even friends, for fuck's sake.

Deep down Jeongguk knows what this feeling is. He's not that stupid. He knows that he doesn't want to be Jimin's friend. 

Not his friend.

He feels the pull in his chest every time the younger boy smiles and that's what scares him and simultaneously pisses him off. Because why the fuck can't he be the one in control over who he's attracted to? It's infuriating, because he's not into guys and he doesn't want to be. 

Not that he would care much about others opinions on it—he never does. It's simply impractical, because what if the society's judgment is directed at the person he's with and they receive hate for being with Jeongguk? What if he wants a job and he's discriminated against because of his sexuality and is forced to find something else to do with his life? What if Jeongguk wants to get married in a country where he could risk jail or even death for just being in love?

It's not fair but it's also the reality.

To top it off, it's Jimin. Jeongguk doesn't deserve him. Knowing about Jimin's exes, he deserves someone much better than Jeongguk.

If he were to accept those feelings and if Jimin were to return them someday, sure, Jeongguk wouldn't hide their relationship from anyone; he's not one for modesty. He's not boastful either, but he doesn't bother to tiptoe around anything because of other's opinions.

But he wouldn't be good for Jimin.

Jeongguk is dark and jaded while Jimin is bright and pure. Jeongguk would hate himself if he were to stain Jimin's light with his dark.

Instead, he'll dismiss what he isn't in control of. He'll dismiss the way his mind seems to insist that Jimin looks and sounds like something sent down from heaven. He'll keep his distance, but be nice to him.

Following his father's wishes is in his control, and his father wants him to befriend Jimin. He'll do just that, but nothing more. Nothing of what Jeongguk's heart asks for, because that is out of the question.

At this rate, Jimin will be his step brother and that is almost even more taboo than homosexuality.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk pulls up to Minji's house a few hours later. He put little to no effort into following any dress code, because he simply didn't care.

Minji doesn't seem to mind that much as she compliments the tattoos along his exposed arm, tracing them with a manicured nail when he drives to the cafe she had texted him the address to beforehand.

The place is in a basement. It's pretty spacious and decorated cozily with big light bulbs hanging from the ceiling, emitting a soft yellow that compliments the wooden floor and stone walls. There are plants everywhere, big and small, and all the tables have vases of wildflowers on them.

It's not really Jeongguk's scene and he stands out like a sore thumb, but he weirdly likes it. Maybe it's because he spends most of his time in a basement.

"Let's order something and sit down. I want to run through my poem one last time before it starts." Minji hooks her arm in Jeongguk's and walks to the front desk.

Jeongguk orders a cappuccino while Minji chooses iced mocha and a slice of strawberry cheesecake that she insists they should share.

Jeongguk sips on his coffee and glances around the place as Minji reads silent words from a piece of paper. He finds several other people doing the same, making gestures while rehearsing in their own bubbles.

"I think I'm ready," Minji then says, beaming as she looks up from the paper.

"How does this work? You said it's a competition?" Jeongguk questions, genuinely confused. Never has he ever been to a poetry reading.

"Oh, the competition doesn't start today. This is just practice. I was thinking you could come with me again this Saturday? That's when the competition starts..." Minji says, shy. “Sorry for lying, I just wanted to see you more.”

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek and just nods in response.

Minji beams. "Great! Everyone will read their poems up on the stage. On Saturday, there will be experienced judges in the audience that decide who qualifies to the next round, which is next week, and then there is a final," she explains enthusiastically. "There is a competition like this every six months. Last time I only got to round two, and I hope to be at least top three this year."

Jeongguk nods slowly. "What does the winner get?"

Minji lets out a little laugh. "Nothing, except bragging rights and honor. It's all a bit like an art exhibition, but with words. The competition is just to make it more exciting. At the end of the day, we all just want to express ourselves and touch other people’s hearts with our poems."

Jeongguk stirs his drink and tries to understand what she sees in it. It's hard when all he can think of is the weird ass poems he has been forced to read in school.

"Okay... What’s yours about?" Jeongguk tries to sound interested, glancing up to meet Minji's gaze.

"You'll have to wait and see." Minji flashes a dimpled smile.

The reading starts about ten minutes of small talk and cake-sharing later. Jeongguk almost flinches at the loud voice of a tall woman with glasses and pink highlights.

"Poetry is not just words. Poetry is how you kiss and love and live and long," she announces into the room, making everyone quiet down.

Jeongguk's eyes widen at the dramatic tone and the way most people in the room are taking it so seriously. He doesn't know if he wants to laugh or run away.

"Welcome to today's reading everyone. I'm glad so many of you showed up and I hope you're all excited for the contest that is taking place this weekend. Saturday right here, and don't you miss it!" the woman continues, still exaggerating her words and making large gestures. "Let's begin. Anyone who feels ready is welcome to share."

A tall girl with round glasses stands up immediately. Her hair is shorter than Jeongguk's and it's sort of refreshing because he only ever sees girls with long hair around their city.

She seems confident as walks up on the stage, putting her paper on the tall table there.

"Hi, I'm Ara. This is a piece I wrote last year when I was lost. Many of you know from past readings that I'm a lesbian. I always bring my girlfriend with me here and you're all so nice to us," she begins, a fond smile on her face before continuing, "but it wasn't always like this, and I want you to know that I have struggled too," the girl, Ara, talks steadily and it's obvious to Jeongguk that she has done this numerous times.

The room is completely silent, everyone paying their full attention to Ara as she speaks. Jeongguk is still unused to the atmosphere, but he tries his best to be as respectful as possible. It's not that difficult anymore when the girl actually reads her poem. Her words are fierce, and spoken with so much emotion.

I'm a baby butch
Let me be
I just found my sexuality.

Just buzzed my cut
(Not Necessary, I know).

I wrote my words
and posed my poetry.

And yet,
I have not spoken my truth.

The words
stick to my throat,
The thoughts rattle
in my head.

I feel fake.

I am faking because the words
do not escape me;
the truth stays inside.

I feel fake;
Discovering and inventing
this new me
and keeping her under lock and key.

She's not ready yet.
Not ready to be free. So,
I feel fake.

I feel fake
because I'm here and I'm queer
But this butch is a baby,
and nobody knows her,
not even me.

Jeongguk's first instinct is to clap because no matter how little understanding he has for poetry, Ara's poem was really beautiful and made an odd, but not uncomfortable, feeling settle in his gut. But then the room fills with the sound of people snapping their fingers and he looks at Minji who is motioning for him to do the same with an encouraging smile.

As weird as Jeongguk thinks it is, he snaps his fingers as Ara bows quickly, thanking them, and walks back to her table.

The next person enters the stage and Jeongguk notices a pattern as more people share their poems. They all say their names, most of them tell the story behind the poem and then you snap your fingers instead of clapping.

Jeongguk can see that Minji is very passionate about it all. She tells him after every poem how much she liked it and why, then asks for his opinion.

Jeongguk has a harder time finding the same passion. He never enjoyed writing. He expresses his feelings through music. Sometimes, when he's inspired enough, he'll express himself through art—but not even Sooyun knows about that.

Therefore, this isn't his cup of tea. He lost his focus pretty quickly after the first poem, which caught his interest for some reason. By the tenth poem, he’s starting to think that the only way he could use this is to maybe listen to when he wants to fall asleep.

Then Minji goes up to the stage, looking equally as nervous as she looks confident. Thankfully, her nerves seem to just vanish when she reads her poem. She has just as much emotion in her voice as the others.

When did we change,
From throwing paper planes,
And driving wooden trains,
To this.
And when did we grow,
From angels in the snow,
Lots of things we didn't know,
To this.
Can you put your finger on the day,
When we never again did play,
Our childhood wasted away,
To this.
And when did we get taller,
Our dreams get smaller,
So now the only thing left in life,
Is this.

More snapping of fingers, and Minji comes back to their table.

"What did you think?" she asks with anticipation in her eyes.

Jeongguk knows this is a sensitive subject, and he is in no place to judge. He actually liked the poem, as much as he could with his inexperience and slight disinterest.

"It was nice." Jeongguk nods, hoping Minji hears the genuinity even though it wasn't that enthusiastic.

She doesn't seem too satisfied, just turning unsure. Jeongguk doesn't like it.

"Just nice? I worked really hard..." she mumbles.

Jeongguk holds a sigh. He tries to be honest, and forces more words out, "Sorry, I don't know much about this. It's hard for me to understand." 

Minji hums, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes move from her cup to Jeongguk and back again. "I understand, I guess. We can go somewhere else if you want...? I want you to come on Saturday, though, if that's okay?"

Jeongguk nods. "I actually need to be somewhere soon but, yeah, I'll take you here on Saturday."

Minji smiles at that. "Okay! Let's go before the next person starts, then."

Jeongguk kisses her cheek again as he drops her off. He notices that she wants more and ignores it. He would have assumed that she is the kind of person who wants to take the physical parts of a relationship slow, but apparently not.

Still, he doesn't give her what she wants. He wants to postpone it for as long as possible, for reasons he doesn’t want to think about.

He drives back to his house, not really having anywhere to be. What Minji doesn't know won't hurt her.

⋆˚࿔

When Jimin walks into his classroom to attend music on Friday, Nari is not there yet. And when the lesson starts and Jeongguk comes in late as usual, she is still absent.

"Remember that the song has to be recorded next Friday. You can start recording today if you want to. I'll be here to assist you, so just ask if you need anything," Mrs. Yong says, gesturing for them to get to work.

Jimin turns to Jeongguk and tries not to lose his breath when meeting his gaze. "I-I'll ask if Mrs. Yong knows if Nari is coming."

Jeongguk gives a nod, still looking into his eyes and Jimin feels hooked, unable to look away. Maybe it's just the lighting, but he believes there are galaxies swimming around in Jeongguk's dark irises and it's utterly hypnotizing.

Jeongguk tilts his head ever so slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards along with an eyebrow. "Are you going, then?"

Jimin blinks, cheeks flushing as he nods quickly, stuttering out an incoherent answer as he scrambles out of the chair and toward the desk, weak in the knees.

The way Jeongguk looks at him is just unfair. It draws Jimin in like a moth to a flame. Like he is just longing to get burned if only it's by Jeongguk.

Nevertheless, he’s happy that Jeongguk seems less moody today.

"Teacher-nim?" Jimin says after clearing his throat.

Mrs. Yong looks up to him with a smile. "Yes, Jimin-ssi?"

"Do you know if Nari is coming today?" Jimin asks.

Recognition flashes across the teacher's face. "Ah, I forgot to inform you. Nari contacted me yesterday and requested to do the assignment on her own. She is very persistent and has been doing good in my class, so I allowed her to. I hope that is okay with you and Jeongguk-ssi... After all, I originally planned it to just be you two in the group."

Jimin feels shocked that Nari would do such a thing. "Did she say why? And why is she not here?"

"She just said that she got a really good idea for a solo cover. I think she called in sick today."

Jimin nods slowly, still surprised that Nari won't be in his group anymore.

Jeongguk looks up from his phone when Jimin slumps back down in his seat. "So?"

Jimin glances up at Jeongguk, rubbing his lips together anxiously. "Nari is not in our group anymore. She changed to solo. And she's sick today."

Jeongguk's eyes narrow slightly in thought, uttering a small, “Hm.”

"It's because of me, isn't it?" Jimin shuts his eyes, dreading the answer.

"Probably, yeah," Jeongguk says, and Jimin opens his eyes to see him shrugging. "She's probably embarrassed that she didn’t know you’re into guys."

Jimin feels a strange chill run down his spine at Jeongguk addressing his sexuality in such a casual way.

"I would be too, I guess. But I still feel bad. I didn't think she'd skip school because of it. I thought we were friends." Jimin pouts slightly as he looks down at what is left of their project, papers scattered over the desk.

Jeongguk shrugs again. "Seemed to me that she didn't want you as a friend at all."

Jimin looks at him in confusion. "What? Why do you say that?"

"I just mean that most people don't want to be stuck in any friendzone if they see the person as something more than that and... Yeah, all that shit."

Jimin raises his eyebrows as Jeongguk talks with knowledge and then just waves it off, looking away with the last words.

He giggles in astonishment. "Yeah, all that shit."

Jeongguk looks up at him with an amused smile that almost makes Jimin choke on air because Jeongguk has never looked at him like that.

He quickly tries to mask how affected he is and clears his throat. "So... What should we do?"

"I guess we just take her parts?"

Jimin hums, a small frown forming on his face as he thinks over the situation.

"What's wrong?" Jeongguk asks, and Jimin is taken aback at the gentle tone. The only other time he has heard it coming from the older boy was that day Daehyun approached him in the bathroom and Jeongguk asked him what happened.

Jimin shakes his head, swallowing. "It's just... The song was Nari's choice, so it doesn't feel right to do it when she's not a part of  the group."

Jeongguk nods. "Okay. Then we change the song."

Jimin raises his eyebrows. "You think we can make it work in just a week?"

"Yeah..." Jeongguk nibbles on his piercing, making Jimin have to look away. "I guess we'll just have to practice outside of school."

Jimin wants to whine out loud. Because why did Nari have to change groups and how is he going to survive this.

Either way, he squeaks out an, "Okay," and takes a breath before daring to glance back to Jeongguk who is already watching him. Jimin rushes out a question to distract himself. "What song do you think we should choose?"

Jeongguk blinks at the sudden question thrown at him before leaning back in his seat, eyes leaving Jimin who is suddenly feeling famished without the attention, although flustered.

"I dunno. What music do you like?" Jeongguk questions.

Jimin shrugs. "A little bit of everything, I guess. Mostly soft pop. I liked the one Nari chose."

"Yeah, me too," Jeongguk nods, and Jimin looks at his profile with slightly wider eyes, not entirely expecting that.

Jimin shakes it off, his heart happy with Jeongguk's answer because that means they have something in common. "Great! I'm not good at making choices, so you choose one and I promise I'll be happy with whatever it is."

Jeongguk glances at him, licking his lips quickly with a nod. "Okay, then. Can I get until Sunday? I want to choose a good one so we'll get a good grade. I'm failing, so... And maybe we can meet up at my house to practice then?"

Jimin is positively surprised with the enthusiasm and nods with a smile. "Yeah, Sunday is good. Sunday is amazing."

Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow with a growing smile and Jimin innerly facepalms at his overly excited words. He's just nervous. But he guesses that it will be okay. He has been to Jeongguk's house before. He knows Hyunwoo and Sooyun. He is positive that he'll get through it without making a fool out of himself. Probably.

"Good... See you after school, Jimin."

Jimin watches Jeongguk rise from his seat and walk out of the classroom, not questioning the fact that half of the lesson is left. Instead, he squeals silently to himself, not able to get the image of Jeongguk smiling at him out of his mind. And the fact that he was nice.

He will definitely have to focus a lot harder if he wants to get over Jeongguk anytime soon.

⋆˚࿔

 "Why does it feel so weird that we're going to hang out with people who are not even a little gay?" Seokjin wonders aloud where he sits against Namjoon's chest.

"Maybe because we're lowkey heterophobic," Yoongi suggests, slapping away Jimin's hand that was approaching his hair, making the younger one pout and undo the braid he just made in Hoseok's hair to start over instead, just to have a distraction.

"Don't say that," Namjoon mumbles, his chin on Seokjin's shoulder to read the book he's holding in front of them.

Hoseok speaks up after a while of thinking. "I actually feel like I have to be more cautious with them."

Yoongi squeezes his hand and places a quick kiss on his cheek. "They wouldn't have asked to hang out if they were against it."

Hoseok turns his head to get a proper kiss, but Jimin pulls him back by his hair.

"Stop moving," he scolds, his tongue peeking out in concentration to perfect the small braid.

"No need to look at them any differently. They're just people. Maybe with less understanding of us, but still people," Namjoon states.

"Yeah. I guess it's just an old habit," Hoseok hums, nodding his head only to be scolded by Jimin again.

"You have us now, though. Nothing to worry about," Seokjin assures, smiling contentedly in Namjoon's arms.

Jimin glances at them and smiles, feeling a tugging sensation in his heart made of both happiness and longing.

"Yeah, I know. I'm happy I met you guys." Hoseok grins.

Seokjin nods, nose scrunching with his smile. "You're all annoying but I still love you."

Jimin giggles and directs his focus back to Hoseok's pretty brown hair, highlighted with dirty blonde strands here and there. The contrast makes for pretty braids.

"What are we even gonna do?" Yoongi wonders, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he watches a car drive by the school gardens.

"No idea. It was Taehyung-ssi who suggested it so I hope he knows," Jimin hums, finishing the braid with a satisfied smile. "Can I put a flower in it, Hoseokie?"

Hoseok nods, and Jimin skips over to pick a mugunghwa flower that the school has planted in the green park where they are sitting. They are just starting to close up and let the petals fall tonight to grow new ones tomorrow. Some of them have stopped blooming because of the cold that comes with the early days of October, but a few are still re-blooming in the mornings. Jimin loves them, because they symbolize the indomitable spirit. That beauty comes and goes. To have courage and to never give up.

Just as he's putting the pale pink flower in the braid, Taehyung and Jeongguk appear from behind the school building.

"Hey new and cooler friends!" Taehyung hollers, laughing when Jeongguk pushes him.

"Hi, Taehyung-ssi," Jimin smiles, looking up at Taehyung from where he's sitting criss-cross behind Hoseok. "And Jeongguk-ssi."

“Yah, none of that, call me hyung!” Taehyung orders, making Jimin’s smile bigger.

"Hey," Jeongguk gives a small smile and Seokjin gasps.

"He smiles!"

Namjoon snorts and half heartedly scolds his boyfriend while Taehyung cackles and pats Jeongguk's back as the latter scratches the back of his neck. Taehyung sits down next to Jimin and Jeongguk sits next to his friend.

"Yeah, sorry about yesterday. I guess I...had a bad day," Jeongguk says, sounding like he doesn't even know himself, or like he's hiding another reason.

Jimin wants to know him so bad.

"It's fine. We know all about bad days, right Yoongs?" Seokjin snickers as Yoongi shoots him an unamused look.

"It's hyung," Yoongi corrects, something he only does when he's irritated with one of them.

Seokjin pouts. "How come you never do that to Hobi?"

Yoongi smiles lazily. "Because he's never annoying me."

Taehyung looks between them in confusion. "What's going on?" he asks Jimin quietly as the two boys continue to bicker.

Jimin looks at Taehyung and furrows his eyebrows in confusion before realizing. "Oh, Yoongi is the same age as you. He had to retake a grade," he explains, catching Jeongguk's attention, too.

Taehyung opens his mouth in a silent sound of recognition and leans back to enjoy the show again.

"–our friendship. It's bros before hoes! No one should get special treatment here," Seokjin rambles on about how rude Yoongi is for being rude to everyone except Hoseok.

"Are you calling my boyfriend a hoe? You're officially on hyung-terms with me forever," Yoongi says plainly, a protective arm around Hoseok as the latter muffles his laughter in Yoongi's shoulder.

"It's a saying, you– You know what? Whatever. I won't call you hyung anyways, so let's just move on with life," Seokjin huffs.

"Great. What are we doing today?" Namjoon cuts in, removing the fiery atmosphere.

Taehyung shrugs. "Thought we could just chill. Do you like video games?"

"Hell yes," Seokjin deadpans. "I'll kick all your asses."

Taehyung grins. "I wouldn't be so confident if I were you. Gguk is insane at every single one. Even on the first try."

"Am not," Jeongguk mumbles, picking at the grass by his leg.

Taehyung scoffs. "Stop acting modest. So can we go to your place? Mine doesn't have enough space for seven people."

Jeongguk tenses, looking into Taehyung's eyes and the two seem to have a telepathic conversation before Jeongguk sighs in defeat.

"Sure. Yeah."

Taehyung jumps up. "Great! Do any of you have a car or something here?"

"No, me and Jin took the bus. The parking fee here is horrifying," Hoseok says, the two of them being the only ones with a license.

"That's fair. Five can squish into Jeongguk's car and tiny will ride with me," Taehyung decides.

"Why is only Jimin riding with you? And what's with that nickname, anyway?" Yoongi questions, suspicious.

Taehyung just grins, putting an arm around Jimin's shoulders. "Have you seen him? He's not much bigger than my girlfriend, and he's a dude. That's worthy of a nickname, I believe. And I don't have a car, so there is not enough space."

Namjoon frowns, walking after Taehyung and Jimin towards the parking lot. "What are you riding on then? If it's a motorcycle I'd rather I go instead of Jimin because that's dangerous."

Taehyung puts a hand over his chest, turning toward Namjoon with a look of offense. "Are you accusing me of not being a safe driver? Because I'm the best. Jiminie has already gotten to ride it once," he explains, and they arrive at where his motorbike is. "Plus, not just anyone gets to ride this baby. No offense."

Taehyung pets the bike and Yoongi looks at him weirdly. "None taken. Just don't kill our friend."

Seokjin takes Jimin's head in his hands and tilts it to kiss his forehead. "May God be with you."

Hoseok snorts. "You don't believe in God, Jinnie."

Seokjin waves him off, walking to Jeongguk's car.

Jimin prays in his mind that they won't embarrass him too much when they're in that car alone with Jeongguk.

"Here." Taehyung hands over his helmet to Jimin, already straddling the bike and Jimin takes a breath before putting it on and getting on behind Taehyung.

He wraps himself around Taehyung just as tightly as last time and closes his eyes as the bike is set to life. Jimin faintly hears Jeongguk's car start as they drive past and then everything is a blur of both fright and elation.

"Okay, you can let go now," Taehyung announces, amused, when he turns the engine off.

Jimin retracts his hands from gripping the front of Taehyung's jacket and moves off of the bike on slightly shaky legs. He takes the helmet off and fixes his hair as he looks up to watch his friends pile out of Jeongguk’s car. To his surprise, they are all smiling and joking around, Seokjin and Hoseok dramatically singing a love song to each other that most probably was on the radio.

"Nice," Hoseok comments when they get inside, looking around along with the other three who have never been to Jeongguk's home.

"Yeah, the videogames are in the basement," Jeongguk murmurs, hanging his jacket on the now full hangers.

Taehyung is already leading the way as Jeongguk speaks, having a conversation with Seokjin.

Jimin lingers in the hallway, and Jeongguk stops when noticing that he's not following the others who are already on their way down. He raises his eyebrows and gives Jimin a look that makes his knees weak. Much like all of the looks he gives him.

"Sorry, I just always have a glass of water when I come home from school, so I just thought that..." Jimin trails off, not needing to say more as Jeongguk nods, something soft flashing in his eyes that makes Jimin want to die of happiness.

Jimin follows Jeongguk into the kitchen and watches him get a glass from one of the cupboards, and instead of giving it to Jimin for him to get the water himself, Jeongguk does it. 

Jimin has a dazed smile on his face as he observes Jeongguk making sure that the water is cold before filling the glass.

"Thank you." Jimin smiles, his heart doing a small flip as his fingers brush Jeongguk's over the glass.

"You're welcome."

Jimin just tries to control his smile, turning away slightly from Jeongguk to drink the water, but it's really hard when he can feel Jeongguk's gaze.

Jeongguk clears his throat when Jimin sets the empty glass down. "Let's go."

Jimin follows Jeongguk down to the basement where Hoseok and Taehyung are already in the middle of a game, Seokjin on Taehyung's side and Yoongi on Hoseok's while Namjoon is in the middle, an amused smile on his face.

"Where were you two?" Namjoon questions, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the hollering players next to him.

"Water," Jimin answers, and Namjoon nods in realization.

Jimin sits down in the vacant armchair, since his friends have filled up the couch and he doesn't want to force Jeongguk to share the loveseat with him.

"Who's winning?" Jimin questions curiously, watching the screen but not quite understanding since he's not a big fan of video games.

"I am!" "Me, duh."

Jimin giggles when Taehyung and Hoseok start bickering, eyes still glued to the screen.

"In my unbiased opinion, Hoseok is losing," Namjoon informs.

"No, I'm not! Taehyung hyung is cheating!"

"You can't even cheat at this game!" Taehyung shoots back.

"Okay, let's calm down before this turns into a fight. No blood on the couch," Jeongguk cuts in, pointing his phone between Taehyung and Hoseok like a referee.

And so, the evening continues with more games and it doesn't take long before Jimin feels like it was always supposed to be this way. At least with Taehyung because he is so social and almost as loud as Seokjin and Hoseok. Jimin is sure that Jeongguk will fit in too, when he has loosened up to the chaotic people that are his friends.

It's all moderately calm and comfortable, until Seokjin opens the mini fridge.

"Tequila? In the mini fridge? Why is there tequila in the mini fridge?" He questions, delighted as he holds the bottle up.

"Dad never checks down here. He thinks it's only soda and chocolate and stuff," Jeongguk says, a small smirk on his face.

"Chocolate? Is there chocolate?" Hoseok asks, eyes big as he makes grabby hands to Seokjin.

Seokjin throws a bar at Hoseok who makes a delighted noise.

Jimin presses his lips together a bit nervously as he watches the two crowd around the small box with different drinks and snacks.

Jimin glances at Jeongguk. "You need to tell them off if they aren't allowed to take anything. They're like little kids."

Jeongguk smiles in amusement, something Jimin has yet to get used to. "You think I'm afraid to tell someone off? Did the bruises on Daehyun's face give you that impression?"

Jimin sucks in a breath at the mention of Daehyun. Namjoon looks up from his phone and calls Jimin's name to have him sit down next to him instead. Jeongguk seems to realize at the same time as he said the name, because his smile drops.

"Sorry, I didn't..." Jeongguk trails off.

"It's okay. I'm just... I had almost forgotten," Jimin mumbles.

Taehyung flops down next to Jimin. "Isn't he coming back to school next week?"

Jimin nods and zones out slightly, finding comfort in Namjoon's arm around him.

"That's okay. We won't leave your side," Yoongi assures from the other end of the couch.

"Yeah, I'll do whatever I can to help. And Gguk will look out for you during music class," Taehyung decides, and Jimin glances over to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk gives a small nod. "Yeah, of course."

"See? You're perfectly safe from any drug addicted creeps." Taehyung ruffles Jimin's hair.

"Thanks," Jimin says softly, a small smile on his face. What would he do if he didn't have his friends?

"Okay, can we open this up sometime or what?" Seokjin asks, still standing by the fridge with the bottle in hand.

"Sure," Jeongguk agrees.

"Let's play a drinking game some other day! Tequila is great for shots," Taehyung calls out, on his way to a door on the other side of the short corridor outside the room.

"Oh, god." Namjoon sighs.

Jimin hesitates. "I don't think that's a good idea," he says, "Can I do shots of soda instead?"

"Oh, c'mon Jiminie! It's just us, what could go wrong?"

Jimin gives Hoseok a pointed look and the latter laughs, sitting down in Yoongi's lap.

"Why don't you wanna drink? Is it the drug thing?" Jeongguk wonders, looking confused. “We won't do anything like that.”

Jimin looks at him with slightly wider eyes, stuttering, "I... Um– I–"

"What's going on?" Taehyung questions, coming back with a blanket wrapped around himself like a burrito.

"Jiminie doesn't want to drink with us." Hoseok pouts.

"Why~" Taehyung complains, flopping down next to Jeongguk on the loveseat.

"He's very...affectionate when he drinks," Yoongi hums, not looking up from the game he's started playing by himself on the TV.

Seokjin snickers. "He's the touchy-feely kinda drunk," he clarifies bluntly. 

Jeongguk looks between them with his usual hard-to-tell gaze while Taehyung snorts.

"I figured that after the last party," he chuckles at the memory while Jimin cringes, "but so what? He can sit next to me. I've never been scared of a little affection.".

"You say that now," Yoongi mutters with a small smile.

Jimin pouts. "You make it sound like I'm unbearable..."

"You kind of are. Especially when there is no one you can kiss. I agree that you shouldn't drink," Namjoon says, calm as ever while Jimin hides in his knees, a blushing mess from how his friends are embarrassing him.

Hoseok and Seokjin are laughing, along with Taehyung, and Jimin doesn't want to know Jeongguk's reaction to that.

"That affectionate, huh? I'm not so sure Sooyun would appreciate that," Taehyung admits with a chuckle.

Jimin emerges from his knees, eyes wide. "Your girlfriend is Sooyun noona?!"

Taehyung raises an eyebrow at the outburst. "You didn't know?" He shakes his head with a click of his tongue. "That traitor. I swear she never talks about me."

"Who's Sooyun?" Seokjin asks, lost.

"Jeongguk-ssi’s sister," Jimin explains, still shocked that he didn't know.

"Oh~ The one with blue hair..." Hoseok says in realization and Taehyung chuckles.

"That would be the one, yeah."

"Ugh, straightness," Seokjin sniffs.

Jeongguk snorts and Taehyung laughs, then turns curious. "Not to be, like, weird, but are you all gay? Like, are any of you bi or something?"

"I guess we gotta have this out of the way if we're gonna be friends," Yoongi says. "I’m pan."

"I'm just...really gay," Jimin says, sheepish.

Hoseok nods. "Me too."

"Me three," Seokjin joins, reaching over Namjoon to slap Jimin's hand at the same time as he high-fives Hoseok. Jimin giggles.

"I'm with Yoongi. So far only Jin has really stood out to me in that way," Namjoon hums, smiling when he earns a coo and a kiss on the cheek from his boyfriend.

"Cool," Jeongguk hums, voicing his acceptance. Jimin tries not to feel anything but gratitude that he's not making it a big deal.

Taehyung, on the other hand, seems interested as ever, eyeing them all with a serious gaze before leaning back with a fascinated sound. He is still wrapped in the blanket and Jimin thinks he looks like a strange caterpillar, giggling silently to himself.

"Like, really cool. I've never interacted with anyone openly queer before you guys and I have to admit it's a little weird seeing you doing couple-stuff, but still awesome how you just break the heteronorm-thing and are yourselves, you know?" Taehyung rambles slowly, seemingly a little lost in his own head.

Seokjin snorts. "Yeah, I guess."

"Well, it's not some achievement we go around flaunting," Yoongi explains, slightly bitter as he pulls Hoseok closer to his chest. "It's really tough being different in this country and we've fought hard both individually and together to get to the point where no one is openly harassing us."

Taehyung seems taken aback. "I-I didn't...mean it like that. I just think it's brave of you not to be affected by society and...stuff. Sorry if I offended anyone."

"You're new to this, we get it. Right, Yoongs?" Jimin says softly.

"Yeah, it's okay," Hoseok adds, saying it to Yoongi mostly as he turns his head to peck his jaw.

Yoongi relaxes then and Taehyung does, too.

"Great... It's late. I think we should head out before the buses stop running," Namjoon announces, pulling Seokjin with him as he stands up.

"Yeah, thanks for inviting us!" Hoseok says with a sunny smile.

"Let's hang out again soon and play that drinking game," Taehyung suggests. "Maybe we can throw a party soon and do it then?"

"Sounds like fun." Jimin grins, following them up the stairs, Jeongguk right behind him.

"You can bring a date to kiss instead so you stay on Sooyun's good side," Taehyung jokes.

Hoseok perks up. "Yes~ Please bring your friend from the bus, Jimin-ah!"

Jimin clicks his tongue, cheeks flushing. "Ugh, I'll never be able to see anyone while being friends with you guys. But yeah, I'll see how it goes."

And then they part ways, feeling like this is the start of something new and very precious.

Chapter Text

Jimin is surprisingly not nervous at all as he gets ready to meet Taemin.

The two of them have been texting every day and Jimin feels like he already knows him. Like he can be totally himself with Taemin.

He wears a pair of washed out jeans and a white cropped sweater with a pink print on it. It shows a stripe of skin, but he has been to the cafe they are going to and he knows that the people who come there are of the accepting kind when it comes to being different.

That fact makes Jimin feel more certain that his gaydar isn't off, sensing that Taemin might not be straight and that this might not be just friendly for him.

Still, the thought doesn't make Jimin nervous. There is something about Taemin that makes him feel like he can be calm and confident. Maybe that's just Taemin's aura rubbing off on him.

Jimin gets there a little early, only to find that Taemin is, too. They bump into each other outside, both moving to enter the cafe without being observant of their surroundings.

"I'm sorry–"

"Oh, sorry–"

They both laugh when they look up to see who the other is.

"I guess this is our thing now." Taemin chuckles. "Fate is pushing us into each other's arms, literally."

Jimin laughs. "Yeah, I think you're right. We should watch out."

Taemin grins as he opens the door, gesturing an arm inside. "After you."

Jimin gives a shyer smile. "Thank you."

"What's your regular? My treat."

Jimin looks at him with widening eyes, but Taemin just keeps eyeing the display of different pastries and cakes, oblivious.

That sounds a lot like it's a date, doesn't it?

"It's okay. I can pay for myself..." Jimin assures but Taemin shakes his head, meeting Jimin's eyes with a gentle smile.

"Trust me, I want to. I asked you here, after all."

Jimin can only nod dumbly and Taemin smiles wider at that. "So, what do you want?"

"Um... Just tea. Without sugar or honey," Jimin decides with a little nod.

Taemin raises his eyebrows, perplexed. "Why... Why no sugar?"

Jimin shrugs. "I don't like most sweet things."

Taemin starts laughing in both disbelief and amusement. "Tea with no sugar... Sounds disgusting. No offense."

Taemin's words hold no judgement, so Jimin just joins his laughter.

He leans on the counter as Taemin orders Jimin's tea and a muffin and coffee for himself. They sit down at a table and Taemin pulls out a writing pad and two pens with a slightly mischievous smile.

"What's this for?" Jimin asks curiously.

"There is a poem reading and contest here today," Taemin announces, his smile widening as Jimin's eyes do. "One of my friends has been talking about it a lot."

"And..." Jimin trails off, not believing that Taemin is really indicating what he thinks he is.

"And we're participating. We have two hours to write one each," Taemin informs, excitement swimming in his eyes.

Jimin opens and closes his mouth a few times before finding his words. "But I don't know anything about poetry...!"

Taemin just shrugs. "Me neither. That's why it's fun."

Jimin blinks, not quite catching on.

"We're really gonna participate in a contest? We will look like complete fools!" Jimin giggles at the mental image, still in disbelief.

Taemin grins. "That's what life is all about."

Jimin looks at the older boy for a moment longer, smiling, then says, "Okay, let's do it. But let's just research a little bit about it first. It might be offensive to the experts if we just write anything."

And so, they write down their names on a list by the stage, landing third and fourth place since they are very early. Then, the poem-writing commences—all the while talking and drinking their beverages.

Taemin is kind of everything Jimin wanted to be when he was younger. If he would have had this version of Taemin in his life back then, he would surely see him as a huge role model.

Maybe that's why Jimin feels so at ease with him. Taemin kind of feels like the older sibling he never had.

"I think I'm done." Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip as he reads over the text scribbled down, making his eleventh try of a poem.

"Really? I've only got, like, half done," Taemin says, lips forming a small frown before checking the time. "There is half an hour left. I think I'll manage with the flow I've got right now."

Jimin nods with an encouraging smile and Taemin gets back to pondering over his words.

Jimin lets his eyes wander over the room as he twirls his pen between his fingers.

"Hey, do you think–"

Jimin nearly flings the pen across the room when he spots a familiar face in one of the booths along the wall, fumbling as he tries to stop the pen from falling off the table.

"Jimin?"

Jimin's wide eyes snap back to Taemin's, stuttering, "Wh-what?"

Taemin looks at him with eyebrows raised in confusion. "You were asking me something."

"Oh... Oh!" Jimin searches for something to say since he doesn't even remember what he was asking in the first place. "I was just... I wanted to ask if you wanted anything else to drink! Since, you know... We're going to be here for quite a while."

Taemin squints his eyes a bit, then shrugs. "I'm good, but thanks for asking."

Jimin nods quickly, standing up to order a green tea, hoping it can aid his racing heart.

He involuntarily glances over to the booth again as he waits for his order to be ready. He now notices the girl sitting across from Jeongguk, Jimin's face falling along with his heart.

Jeongguk has a girlfriend. Of course he does.

There is an explosive pain in his chest and Jimin knows then just how strong his feelings for Jeongguk are.

Jimin gets his tea and sits down with Taemin again, a storm whirling in his heart. He gets a rush of inspiration, putting his finished poem in the pile with the other failures.

Taemin raises his eyebrows at him again. "I thought you were happy with that one?"

Jimin nods, then shakes his head. "I got new inspiration. Do you think it can get too personal?"

Taemin hums, tapping his pencil against his chin. "I don't, no. This is a free space and it's your words. Your art, I guess? You can do whatever you want with it. No one will have a right to judge, anyway."

Jimin's lips curve into a little smile, nodding slowly. Then he writes and crosses over words and writes more as if his pen is on fire.

About ten minutes before the contest is supposed to start, Jimin is done with his new poem and a girl approaches their table.

"Taemin!" She exclaims, and Taemin stands up to hug her with a smile.

"Hey, Ara... I haven't seen you in ages! Where the hell have you been hiding?" Taemin wonders, a bit accusingly.

The girl, Ara, chuckles, pulling back from the hug. "Sorry, I've had so much to do with school and with my mom. I would have called back if I had time, I promise."

Taemin just smiles gently. "I understand... I was just joking around. How is she?"

"She's doing okay right now."

Taemin nods, then looks to Jimin and back. "Ara, this is my new friend, Jimin. Jimin, this is the poetry friend I was talking about earlier," Taemin introduces, gesturing between them.

Ara chuckles. "Poetry friend, huh?" Then she extends a hand towards Jimin. "It's nice to meet you, Jimin."

Jimin smiles. "You too. And I wouldn't take 'poetry friend' as something bad. This is really hard," he says, gesturing to the mess of papers littered over their small table.

Ara gasps. "You're participating?! That's awesome! I've tried to get Taemin to try for years." She huffs. "I guess all the motivation he needed was a cute guy."

Taemin clicks his tongue and pushes her shoulder lightly as she chuckles. "Not true. I just thought this would be fun, with the competition starting today and all."

Jimin smiles as he observes how close the two seem. Ara has really short hair and is several inches taller than Taemin. Jimin instantly likes her, she seems really nice.

"Well, it's starting in five, so I should go back to my table," Ara says, gesturing a few tables away.

Taemin looks over to where she was pointing. "Cho's not here?"

Ara shakes her head. "No, she always pretends to be busy for these competitions," she says, rolling her eyes playfully with a fond expression. "She thinks that these things are a little too fancy for her."

Taemin chuckles. "Sounds like her. Do you want to sit with us? We could use some expert moral support."

Ara grins. "Are you sure? I don't wanna crash your date."

Jimin watches Taemin for signs, but the older boy doesn't falter, just clicks his tongue again. "What did I say before? Jimin is a new friend. I only met him this week and we're getting to know each other because it's literally fate."

Jimin smiles at that. Taemin doesn't see this as a date because that's way too soon. He feels a flood of relief wash over him.

Ara looks between them for a while before shrugging and sitting down at their table with a smile. "Okay then. I'm really excited to hear your poems!"

Jimin chuckles. "I wouldn't be too excited if I were you. I didn't know anything about it before today."

Ara hums. "Well, you don't really need to know anything. There are no specific rules or anything. You could just write down whatever's on your mind and that's already a sort of poem. It's all about being true to yourself and the words will come naturally," she explains, taking a sip of her fruit-drink.

Jimin thinks over the words. "That actually makes me feel better about mine. I wrote it in under fifteen minutes, so I didn't think it would be good enough…but it's what I’m feeling so I guess it's still okay then."

Ara nods enthusiastically. "Those are the best ones. When you just have to get something off your chest because it feels like you'll explode, right?"

Jimin blinks once, then nods because that's exactly what it felt like.

"Well, you just made me even more excited," Ara admits and they all chuckle.

After a few minutes of small-talk, a man and a woman walk on stage, standing up in front of a microphone Jimin hadn't noticed was there earlier.

"Is this on? Oh, okay. Hi, everyone. I'm happy to see so many of you here today, and hopefully most of you are here for the contest! For those of you that are really confused right now and didn't notice the posters on the door and on every wall in here—there is a poetry contest here tonight," the man says, and some people chuckle.

The woman takes over. "Now, let's go ahead with some rules. One, only original works are allowed. Two, what the judges say goes—begging won't help you get a place in the next round. And three, be respectful towards all contestants. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"Yeah, no booing or food-fighting," The man warns, jokingly pointing to a group of teens, making them laugh.

"Exactly. And we advise you to enjoy this. Winning and losing shouldn't matter. Your work is still yours and you should be proud no matter what. It takes courage to stand up here and expose your soul. You're all brave," the woman says.

"Right. As mentioned, there are some judges here with us today." The man motions towards a row of tables in the back with four adults. "They have agreed to answer questions about their decisions and give out advice at the end of the night. We hope you can learn a lot from them."

Jimin gulps as he looks at the judges. He's not a poet. He doesn't even know what he's doing and now he's going to get judged by professionals? This is crazy. Taemin is crazy, Jimin decides.

He chuckles silently, a finger tracing the edge of the piece of paper on which his poem is written. It's so personal. And the protagonist is sitting in this very room, about to unknowingly listen to words written about him.

It's all crazy. But also kind of thrilling and...relieving.

It feels relieving to be about to finally tell Jeongguk about his feelings, even though the older boy won't understand it. At least Jimin thinks it will be.

"So, hopefully everyone who wants to participate in today's contest's name is on this list that has been over here all day. If you didn't know that it existed 'til now, you can come forward and enter now before the first poem is read."

A couple of people walk over to enter the competition and Jimin starts to feel a bit nervous.

He is used to talking in front of people and has sung at small shows when he was a bit younger.

This is more personal, though. It's like performing a song that you have written and produced yourself or a dance where you are the choreographer, and that's a bit terrifying if you ask him.

Taemin gets called before him, third on the list, walking up to the stage with no visible nerves.

"Hello, my name is Taemin. Me and my friend Jimin only learned to write poems two hours ago, so this is a challenge for us." He chuckles as the audience perks up with interest.

Jimin's eyes find Jeongguk and realizes that he is already watching him with a small smile on his lips. Jimin looks away, feeling his chest tighten painfully.

Taemin reads his poem.

She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by–
And never knew.

Everyone in the room snaps their fingers and Jimin beams as he does the same. Taemin's poem was really deep and beautiful.

"That was so good!" Ara gushes as Taemin comes back and Jimin agrees immediately.

Taemin grins and thanks them.

Then it's Jimin's turn.

"Park Jimin," the woman from earlier calls out.

With a few words of encouragement from his new friends Jimin walks up on the stage.

"Hi, I'm Jimin... Like Taemin hyung, I'm also new to this so I'm sorry if anyone will take offense," he laughs breathlessly. "Um, my poem is about something I'm struggling a lot with lately. It's called ‘The saddest part of unrequited love’."

Jimin closes his eyes for a moment, not daring to make eye contact with anyone, especially not Jeongguk whose gaze he can feel, like a warm, physical thing on his skin. Then he decides to just do it.

The saddest part of unrequited love is that despite the fact that your mind knows that you can't get what you desire but your heart silently keeps praying for that one person who is your last thought every night and your first memory every morning. The worst part is that your mind keeps telling you to move on and your heart keeps holding on to that one dream that is never going to come true. The more your mind tries to forget about him...the more your heart keeps loving him.

Jimin bows and the silence turns into snapping fingers. Jimin quickly moves back to the table, trying to blink away the start of tears in his eyes.

"That was amazing, Jimin! I wouldn't know it was your first try at all," Ara exclaims when he arrives.

Jimin tries to give a smile, sitting down next to Taemin.

The older boy observes him from the side, then puts a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to get some air, Jimin-ah?"

Jimin looks at him, nodding, and Taemin collects all their things.

"We'll go now, but let's meet up soon, Ara," Taemin says quietly since the next poem is about to be read.

Ara nods, looking a bit concerned as her eyes flicker between them.

Jimin just waves and then they sneak out of the cafe. He immediately feels lighter when met with the chilly air outside. Taemin nods his head to the side for Jimin to follow him.

They walk in silence for a while, but not an awkward one. Not at all. It's peaceful. Comforting. The streets are calm and birds are still singing despite autumn quickly taking over what was left of summer.

Taemin takes him to an ice cream parlor and tells him to wait outside.

"It's a bit too cold for ice cream, but you look like you need some..." Taemin says as he comes back with chocolate ice cream for both of them.

Jimin surprises them both when he starts crying, taking the ice cream while sniffling as a tear falls down his cheek, choking out a ‘thank you’.

Taemin frowns, putting a hand on the small of Jimin's back to guide him to a bench in the park nearby.

They sit down and Jimin worries his lip between his teeth, a few more tears escaping as Taemin rubs his back comfortingly.

"Jimin-ah... Do you want to tell me about him?"

Jimin sniffles, then heaves out a breath. "I'm sorry..." he murmurs, wiping at his cheeks.

He looks up into Taemin's eyes with guilt because he can tell that the older one is a little bit disappointed. Taemin understands what he's apologizing for and is quick to soothe him.

"Don't be. It's not your fault," he says, a small smile on his face. "I have to admit that I think you're really cute and sweet, but I noticed pretty quickly that there is someone else, didn't I? I'd be happy to be your friend, Jimin."

Jimin nods, relieved that Taemin isn't angry with him. Even though they just met a few days ago, he was still worried about making the same mistake again with leading someone on. The whole thing with Nari was bad enough.

"Tell me?" Taemin requests, encouraging Jimin to get it off his chest. "I could see how emotional that poem was for you to read."

Jimin takes a steadier breath. "Yeah... It's stupid, really," he breathes out with a small laugh.

Taemin shakes his head. "Your feelings aren't stupid. Tell me."

Jimin looks into Taemin's eyes, then down at his ice cream.

"His name is Jeongguk..." he begins, looking at Taemin again and receiving a gentle nod to continue. "I think I kind of fell for him at first sight? I don't know. It's really weird but I feel like I'm supposed to be with him. His whole being just pulls me in, and I don't even know him that well! It's confusing," Jimin huffs, a bit frustrated as he talks about it.

Taemin chuckles a little at his pout and Jimin looks up and breathes out a laugh, too, in realization.

"Um, our lives have been intertwining a lot the past weeks. First, I was roofied at his party, then I found out that our parents are dating, and then we got paired–"

"Hold on… He roofied you at his party?" Taemin questions, shocked.

"Oh, no! Jeongguk saved me. The one who drugged me was another guy from my school... He's really unpleasant. He got suspended for two weeks for scaring me a few days after that party, but he's coming back on Monday." Jimin shudders at the thought.

"You didn't report him? What did he do to scare you? How and why did he even drug you?" Taemin continues to question, frowning.

"He drugged me while we were dancing together, I suppose. I don't entirely know why but my friends said that it seemed like he was going to take advantage of me. I didn’t think involving the police was necessary... Nothing happened, and Jeongguk beat him up."

"But there were more than enough reasons to go to the police, Jimin. That's not cool."

"I know, but I was really sad. I didn't want to think about it. Now it's kinda too late." Jimin frowns and Taemin sighs.

"Okay, but you said that he scared you after?"

"Yeah, he approached me in the bathroom and said these weird things about liking me and never wanting to hurt me and I thought that he was going to, but he didn't and I really don’t know what he wants from me... Maybe he's just confused from all the drugs he takes," Jimin ponders aloud.

"He sounds a bit psycho, honestly. I don't like the idea of him coming back to your school, but I guess that the principal couldn't do anything else without involving the police, right?" 

"Yeah... I guess I maybe should have gone to the police while I still could, but I really didn't feel well and I didn't have any proof, so..." Jimin mumbles, a bit disappointed in himself for not being braver.

"Hey, it's okay. What's done is done. If he continues to bother you, you can always try to reach out to the police about it...but I don't think that's enough for them to really do anything about it, sadly. You know how it is... All the different laws and rights overlap each other until there is basically nothing they can do unless you have a bunch of proof."

"Yeah... I just hope he doesn't try to talk to me again," Jimin hums, trying not to let it get to him.

"Okay, but back to this Jeongguk guy. Sorry for getting off track," Taemin says, dismissing the subject of Daehyun.

"Right, our parents started dating too and then we got paired up for a project in school. I feel like the more I get to know him, the harder I fall. And it's so frustrating because, one, he's really straight, two, our parents are dating, and three, I think he's seeing someone... I saw him with a girl at the cafe just now," Jimin says the last part quietly, not wanting it to be true.

"You read that poem in front of him?" Taemin asks, surprised.

"Yeah... I thought that it would make me feel better. It really doesn't," Jimin sighs.

Taemin is silent for a moment before replying. "I'm sorry, Jimin. It's really a shame that your heart wants him so bad when your odds are so small. But, before I tell you to give up, are you sure he's completely straight? Has he told you?"

Jimin furrows his eyebrows. "Well… He hasn't told me, but it's obvious. I've heard that he sleeps with girls pretty often... I don't know why I like him so much...! He's just in my head all the time," he explains, sighing in frustration.

"Is he hot?" Taemin asks, one eyebrow arched up.

Jimin almost whines. "He's a god. I can barely hold his gaze for more than five seconds," he exclaims, exasperated.

Taemin laughs, clearly very amused by this.

"Well, that's one reason then. Do your friends think the same?"

Jimin frowns, confused by the question. "None of my friends are single, so they always say 'my boyfriend is hotter'."

Taemin smiles knowingly. "Then you probably think that he's so hot for a reason. There is probably something more about him that attracts you especially."

"Well, I think I have a thing for the bad boy cliché..." Jimin admits, blushing slightly when Taemin raises his eyebrows, "but Jeongguk's best friend is the same and I don't see him as more than a friend... I just feel so attracted to everything about Jeongguk."

Taemin nods, prompting him to elaborate. "Tell me about him."

"He's very closed off and mysterious, and I just want to get to know everything about him. The way he smiles is so breathtaking, it's like his whole bad boy aura disappears for a moment and he literally shines. It's so cute, too...like a bunny-smile. He's got such a duality and I love it so much," Jimin rambles, a dreamy expression on his face as he thinks about the one that has completely captured his heart without knowing.

"You're in it deep, huh?" Taemin smiles.

Jimin nods sadly. "Yeah, I really am..."

Taemin isn't discouraged though, perking up and keeping a smile on his face. "Don't give up, then. When you first told me the stuff about him being straight and your parents dating I was preparing to say that you should get over him, but I changed my mind. You're not related and no one is perfectly straight. I say you should shoot your shot, because this kind of affection is rare. Don't kill love...it's too precious."

Jimin blinks at Taemin, stunned. He was expecting a lecture on how to get over a boy.

"I... I have to, though? I can't just force myself onto him?"

Taemin tilts his head up to the sky, thinking for a moment.

"No...but you can be yourself with him, and you can give small hints that you see him as something more without overdoing it. Then, if he seems interested but is too stupid to realize, I'll help you," Taemin decides, nodding once in determination.

"How?"

Taemin waves it off. "Let's not think about that yet. You have to figure out if he's really as straight as you think first."

Jimin nods slowly. "Okay...and how do I do that? What hints?"

"Well, first off you have to get to know him. Or, better yet, let him get to know you. Then you take notice of how he looks at you, how he reacts to small things, how he treats you compared to others... Stuff like that."

Jimin hangs on to every word. He feels like he should take notes.

"I should start calling you sunbae," Jimin states, looking at the older man with admiration.

Taemin bursts into laughter, putting his hand on Jimin's shoulder for support and Jimin joins him.

"Yeah, maybe you should," Taemin agrees as his laughter has turned into chuckles, "but seriously, you need to tell me everything that happens. And I want to meet him, eventually. Maybe I'll see something you don't."

Jimin nods. "Yeah, you can come with us to the next party... My friends kind of think we're on a date right now, even though I told them that it's not, and they told me to invite you."

Taemin grins, amused. "Yeah, that sounds good to me."

Jimin smiles. "Great...but we can meet more often than that... Only if you want to! But I really want us to be friends, I mean," he rambles a little.

Taemin chuckles. "I really want us to be friends, too, Jiminie."

"Good... It would have been really awkward if you just blew me off after ranting about all my problems," Jimin says, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.

Taemin laughs at that. "You're so cute... I'd feel really lucky if I was in Jeongguk's shoes."

Jimin blushes, making Taemin coo even more and then they slowly move back towards the cafe to part ways.

Jimin gets home with a weight on his chest from the memory of Jeongguk with that girl. But he simultaneously feels happy, because Taemin is such a good friend to listen and give him all that advice when he originally wanted to date Jimin himself.

He then remembers that he is supposed to meet Jeongguk tomorrow to work on their cover.

Hopefully that will go well...

⋆˚࿔

Sunday morning, Jimin's mother sits him down to tell him something important.

She's shining with happiness and the sight makes Jimin's heart warm to the point that he doesn't care what it is that she has to tell him. Whatever it is, he will be happy for her.

Still, the words come as a shock to him.

"Hyunwoo has asked us to move in."

Jimin's jaw drops, eyes widening at the statement. He stares at his mother's wide smile and happy eyes.

"I couldn't say yes before talking to you, but I really want to, Jimin-ah! I love him and after seeing how well you and his children got along, I think we're ready for this step," Areum continues, hope clinging to every syllable.

"I- Uh- You... Are you sure? That-that's really early."

Areum nods. "I'm sure, baby. I know that it's early, but I really want to share my life with him. He's beginning to feel like home and I want to wake up to him... On top of that, moving in together will be more economical. But you come first, always, so I'm asking for your approval."

Jimin swallows harshly. "I, uhm, I guess... If that is what you think is best."

"Really? You'll do it for me?" Areum asks, tears of happiness entering her eyes now.

Jimin smiles. "Don't cry, mom. Of course, I want you to be happy."

Areum hugs her son tightly, almost crushing him in her arms before pulling back to beam at him.

"I love you, thank you so much. You don't know how happy this makes me," she sniffles, then perks up. "Hyunwoo is asking his children now as well, but hopefully they'll agree... We'll move into his house since it's bigger and you'll of course get your own room. This is going to be great!"

Jimin just nods, smiling.

A little later, Jimin is laying on his bed, taking time to really think over what this means for him.

He's going to be living under the same roof as Jeongguk and his family, but he'll have his own room and he probably won't be hanging out with the Jeons all of the time… Maybe it won't be that much of a difference?

He hopes not. Jimin likes to have his small routines and weird habits and he believes that home is the place where you can feel completely comfortable and where no one will judge you. He would go under if he didn't have that safe space.

Will he still have that, living in the same house as the one person he is hopelessly attracted to? He has no idea. The only thing he knows is that he will have to grow some balls if he's going to try.

Just imagining Jeongguk seeing him in the clothes he wears at home makes a deep blush form on his cheeks. Again, he has to get a lot braver now.

Not that he isn't confident. He knows that he's pretty. It's just that Jeongguk makes him nervous. 

His phone chimes with a new notification.

Hey can you be here at twelve?

We've got a lot to do I guess

Jimin tries not to fanboy over the fact that Jeongguk is texting him and answers with a simple affirmation.

That means he has to be there in an hour. The bus takes fifteen minutes so that means forty-five minutes to get ready. Jimin almost sprints to the bathroom.

Forty minutes later, his hair is as fluffy as his sweater and he has watched about twenty youtube videos on how to warm up your voice.

"Where are you going, honey?"

Jimin turns to his mother while putting his jacket on. "To Jeongguk's... We have to work on the school project," Jimin explains, rolling his eyes with a smile when Areum beams.

"Oh, have fun then! Say hi to all of them from me," she says, still smiling big with happiness.

"I will," Jimin promises, hugging her goodbye before leaving.

Yesterday, he called his friends and told them about the poem contest and the advice Taemin had given him. Hoseok and Seokjin obviously started fussing about the fact that seducing Jeongguk is what they have told him to do from the beginning, but Taemin's words obviously hit Jimin differently.

He isn't going to seduce Jeongguk. Just be himself and maybe try to show him a small bit of the attraction he feels for him. Nothing major like the things he knows his crazy friends originally had in mind.

He is nervous while walking up to the Jeons' front door. He has never been alone with Jeongguk like this.

Thankfully, Sooyun opens the door.

She grins when she sees him. "Jiminie! Hi!"

Jimin smiles back as she lets him in. "Hi, noona."

"You're here to see Gguk, right?" Sooyun asks, giving Jimin space to take his shoes and jacket off.

"Yeah, we have an assignment due..."

"I heard. Then you must have heard Jeongguk sing, right? Isn't he really good?" Sooyun questions eagerly. "I've only overheard him singing once so–"

"Okay, bye, demon," Jeongguk interrupts, appearing from the door Jimin remembers leads down to the basement.

Sooyun huffs. "Fine, baby brother. But expect me to be listening from up here."

"No you won’t. I'll break your flat iron."

"I'll break your nose," Sooyun retorts and snaps her neck to the side in defiance, something that Jimin has seen Jeongguk do many times.

Jimin chuckles at their antics. He doesn't have siblings, so it's kind of new to him.

"Whatever, come on Jimin," Jeongguk huffs.

"And feel at home. Since it'll be yours too, soon," Sooyun says and Jimin tenses just slightly.

"Oh, yeah... Are you okay with that?" Jimin asks timidly.

"Of course! I would say that it's way too early for them to try and live together, but dad has been so happy lately and you're really nice so I guess that it won't be a problem," Sooyun reassures.

Jimin looks at Jeongguk who nods. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Is it okay for you, though? You're the one who's gonna move from your childhood home," Sooyun then asks.

"The house doesn't mean much to me," Jimin hums. "I still have the memories and I would have moved eventually. I guess I'm more worried about feeling at home."

"Well, we will do our best to make you feel comfortable. Right, baby bro?"

Jeongguk nods again. "Yeah, of course we will. I don't judge easily, neither does she or dad."

Somehow, that makes Jimin feel a bit better. Now they have at least said it. He can only wait and see if they keep their word.

"Thanks..." Jimin then remembers what his mother said. "Mom says hi, by the way."

Sooyun grins. "Say hi back from me. I'll go now. Have fun singing and stuff."

She walks to her bedroom just down the hall and Jimin glances to Jeongguk, watching the other nod his head to the stairs before walking down.

Jimin follows him into the same room they were in on Friday.

"I'll get the guitar," Jeongguk announces, leaving to go to what Jimin has suspected is the older boy’s bedroom.

He comes back shortly after with an expensive-looking guitar.

“Congratulations, by the way," Jeongguk says as he sits down next to him on the sofa, but still keeping about a meter's distance.

Jimin frowns, confused. "On what?"

Jeongguk tilts his head, also confused now. "The poem contest? You made it to...the second round, or whatever?"

Jimin's mouth falls open a little in pure shock.

"I-I did?!"

Jeongguk nods. "No one told you?"

Jimin shakes his head quickly. "No! We left before they announced the… But that means I have to do it again...! I have to talk to Taemin hyung later," Jimin stresses slightly, mostly to himself.

Jeongguk purses his lips slightly, nodding once.

Jimin shakes his head a little as if that would help get rid of all the thoughts running through his mind right now.

"Anyway, what were you doing there? I didn't take you for the poetic type..." Jimin trails off, hoping that perhaps Jeongguk will deny that he's seeing that girl romantically.

Jeongguk sighs. "I'm really not. The girl I'm dating loves it, though."

Jimin barely manages to stop the way his lips want to turn down in sadness and just nods instead. "I see."

Jeongguk looks at him silently for a moment, looking like he wants to say something else, and Jimin clears his throat to remove the tension.

"Did you choose a song?"

"Yeah, I chose another duet, so it'll be easy to divide it," Jeongguk explains, opening his laptop to search for the song.

Jimin can't help but just watch him. He's so gorgeous, it's unfair.

But with the knowledge that he's seeing someone, Jimin feels discouraged. Like he shouldn't look at Jeongguk like he has been before. He's not his to admire. If Jeongguk knew that Jimin saw him like that, he would probably be disgusted with him.

"Here, it's this one," Jeongguk speaks up, showing Jimin the screen.

Jimin leans over to see, recognizing the title. "Ah, can we listen to it once before we start working?"

Jeongguk hums in approval, playing the song.

They listen to it and Jimin is aware of how Jeongguk is glancing at him every now and then, probably to see his reaction. He is also aware of how some of the lyrics fit so well to what Jimin is feeling towards Jeongguk.

"I think it'll be perfect. Our voices are really different like theirs so I think it will fit..." Jimin hums after the song comes to an end, meeting Jeongguk's eyes.

Jeongguk's lips twitch upwards slightly. "I think so, too. I don't think we have to change the key, either. And it's pretty intricate so I think we could get a good grade if we really practice."

Jimin smiles at Jeongguk's enthusiasm. "Yeah, let's do that, then."

Jeongguk nods. "So I was thinking that I’ll take his parts and you'll take hers and then we can add some more harmonies, because I think it'll sound really good here...and here," he explains, pointing at different parts on the computer screen where he has the lyrics and chords.

"Sounds good to me," Jimin agrees, liking the ideas.

"Okay, let's just try it once, so we know that the key is right." Jeongguk puts a capo on the guitar and starts to play a fast, complicated-looking melody that sounds identical to the actual song.

Girlfriend or not,  Jimin is kind of turned on.

Then he starts singing and Jimin feels like he is slowly melting into a puddle on the floor. Or more like in Jeongguk's hands.

Jeongguk sings it almost effortlessly, even though the key is rather high. He sounds so good and Jimin feels hearts in his eyes as Jeongguk sings the first verse and then the bridge and the chorus.

Even though he feels like a puddle on the floor, Jimin manages to sing the second verse.

I just hope you're lying next to somebody who knows how to love you like me. There must be a good reason that you're gone. Every now and then I think you might want me to come show up at your door. But I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong.

They try to harmonize a little during the rest.

Somewhere along this, Jimin finds Jeongguk watching him while playing the guitar so effortlessly and Jimin is simply unable to look away, hooked on Jeongguk's gaze for as long as the other holds it.

Jeongguk stops playing somewhere near the end, because they haven't figured out the last part just yet. Not really the other parts either but they just need to work on it.

"You're really such a good singer..." Jimin says, in awe.

Jeongguk shakes his head. "You're much better than me."

"I'm not, but I think our voices go together nicely. Maybe we should try to record some parts and see which harmonies we should go for?" Jimin suggests.

Jeongguk agrees and they work on the song for a few hours. Hyunwoo comes down to say hi after some time—apparently he had been out in the garage working on one of their cars. Sooyun also comes down with snacks and she stays to talk and try to have a peek at their cover.

When it's time for dinner, Jimin's mother comes over to eat with them. It feels natural, almost as if they have moved in already.

"So, when are you moving here?" Jeongguk asks as they plate their food.

Areum smiles happily at the mention. "I'm putting the house up for sale sometime next week and we will start moving our things during the week of your autumn break."

"Why wait, we figured. Now that you are all getting along just fine and Areum and I have mutual feelings about this," Hyunwoo adds, smiling lovingly. "You know what they say, life is too short to wait, YOLO and...stuff."

Jeongguk snorts while Sooyun cringes and Jimin giggles. Areum just puts an affectionate hand on Hyunwoo's arm and smiles in amusement.

"Right, well, I think we'll manage really well if we work together. A family is supposed to support one another and accept each other for who they are and I believe that we will do just fine in that department," Areum agrees, putting more vegetables on her plate.

Jimin sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, nodding slightly while hoping that she is right.

"I think so, too," Jeongguk says, shocking them positively by saying anything at all and Jimin glances at him to meet his gaze.

Jeongguk looks at Areum as she comes with a few approving words, then he looks back to Jimin with a small smile that the younger one returns with butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"Well, I'm just looking forward to having someone more fun than Jeongguk around here," Sooyun jokes, grinning. "And someone to do my makeup with. Have you seen Jimin's eye-lining skills? Insane."

Jimin laughs. "Thank you, noona. I'll teach you if you color my hair."

"Deal! Definitely deal!" Sooyun exclaims, excited.

"What color have you decided on, Jimin-ah?" Areum asks her son curiously.

Jimin chews on a piece of kimchi while thinking. "I'm thinking a darker pink? I've decided that any judgment is worth it because it's what I want."

Sooyun gasps and claps her hand in even greater excitement. "Yes, confidence?! I'll have the time of my life doing that for you!"

Areum and Hyunwoo chime in with their encouragement and even Jeongguk agrees.

Maybe Jimin will feel at home here.

⋆˚࿔

The first few days of avoiding Daehyun's existence are fairly easy. Jimin decided beforehand not to even acknowledge the fact that he is back and just magically doesn't see the boy even once.

It's fairly easy, until it's not.

Wednesday at lunch, Daehyun appears and tries to apologize again, and this time it's in front of all of Jimin's friends.

"Excuse me, hello..."

Seokjin narrows his eyes and Namjoon frowns, speaking, "Hi?"

Seokjin huffs. "Could you not? We don’t like you, if you couldn’t tell already," he deadpans, a sarcastic smile on his lips for a moment before glaring again. By now Hoseok and Yoongi are paying attention, too, looking at Daehyun with distaste.

Daehyun shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He hasn't moved his eyes from Jimin since arriving at their table. "I wanted to apologize again, properly. I wasn't that...clearheaded either of the times I spoke to you, so I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for everything and I'm trying to get better."

Jimin's gaze flickers slightly. He's uncomfortable, but unforgiving has never been a word to describe him with.

"I forgive you, I suppose...but I won't forget," Jimin decides on, trying to sound moderately firm.

Daehyun's face breaks into a large smile. "Thank you! I'll do anything I can to make it up to you. It's a big part of my journey to get better. I need to make amends with people I've hurt and things like that," he explains, sounding a bit like he has just learned that himself and practiced the words.

"Okay... Well, you don't need to do anything for me. Just don't scare me anymore and we're good, I guess," Jimin says, uncertain. He wants to tell Daehyun to just stay away from him for good, but he doesn't want to hurt him, either. It seems like he's actually trying.

"Alright! Let me know if you need anything anytime, I insist," Daehyun says eagerly. "Your friends, too."

"No, thanks. Bye," Yoongi ends the conversation. Daehyun's eyes move to him, smile falling a little and eyes becoming a tiny bit harder, but he nods nevertheless and leaves the canteen.

The five friends stay quiet for a moment, caught up in their own thoughts before Hoseok speaks up. "Well, at least he's trying?"

"Yeah... If we can trust anything he says, that is," Namjoon mutters, unsure.

Then, Taehyung and Jeongguk are sitting down at their table, taking the seats next to Jimin and Namjoon.

"Hey, we saw drug-dude come over to you! What did he say?!" Taehyung asks immediately.

Jimin is stunned over the fact that they are actually sitting with them. No one has ever even attempted to sit at their table and he can feel the majority of the people in the canteen staring.

"That he was high when he talked to Jimin last time and that he's trying to stop getting high. I think. Basically," Hoseok explains.

"Also that he is trying to redeem his failures and shit. He wants to become Jiminie's slave now," Yoongi says flatly.

Taehyung scrunches his nose up. "The fuck?"

"He didn't say it like that. He said that he wanted Jimin to let him know if he ever needs anything," Namjoon corrects.

"Still." Taehyung grimaces in distaste.

"What do you think, Chim?" Hoseok questions, interrupting Jimin's inner sighing over how fluffy Jeongguk's hair is today.

He hums in thought before answering, "I think he's trying, but I still don't want him near me."

"Understandable. I don't want him near any of us," Yoongi huffs, arms crossed over his chest as he sends icy stares toward where Daehyun went.

"Well, at least he didn't threaten you or something," Taehyung offers.

"Yeah. We have psychology now, so see you guys?"

"Wait, one thing," Taehyung says, gaining everyone's attention. "We don't have school next week 'cause of autumn break, and Gguk and tiny's parents are going on some trip with work so we're throwing a party on Thursday. That's Halloween, so we're thinking Halloween themed?"

"Yes, finally! I've wanted to match costumes with Joonie forever," Seokjin gasps, tugging on Namjoon's arm excitedly.

Namjoon, on the other hand, groans in misery. "Don't let him do this to me, please. Let's just have a normal party?"

Seokjin glares and Jimin cringes, waiting for the inevitable scolding.

"Yah! I'm amazing at making you look as sexy as I do and this is on my bucket list 'matching sexy costumes with Joonie' you're supposed to grant me anything I want as your boyfriend don't be ungrateful!"

Jimin glances at Taehyung and Jeongguk, seeing their eyes flicker unsurely between an angry Seokjin and a regretful Namjoon.

"Don't worry, they do this all the time! A Halloween party sounds really fun! Let's go, we'll be late," Jimin cuts in when he sees that Seokjin has another rant in store, taking his tray and standing up.

The two older boys blink up at him and he gives a smile before grabbing Seokjin and dragging him to their next lesson, keeping him at a safe distance from his boyfriend.

Later, they make a negotiation. Namjoon has the right to say no if he's not comfortable with whichever costume Seokjin chooses and the latter agrees only because he knows that Namjoon will never be able to deny him.

After psychology, Jeongguk comes up to Jimin, much to the latter's surprise.

"Hey," the older of the two greets casually, leaning one shoulder on the wall next to him, his body turned to the other boy.

Jimin jumps in surprise at his voice. He looks up at Jeongguk with wide eyes, releasing a breath when seeing that it's him. Then, right away, it's stolen again as he realizes that it is Jeongguk. About to see him to class. Looking like something created by angels and demons working together.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Ready for music? We're behind," Jeongguk points out.

Jimin nods dumbly and starts walking, flustered, with Jeongguk by his side. He catches several glances from other students in the hallway, but Jeongguk seems thoroughly unbothered.

"I know. We'll make it work somehow," he decides on saying, fiddling with the pages in the music book he really doesn't need to be carrying with him right now.

"I wish I'd be optimistic about that, but I don't see how we will have time to get it right by Friday."

Jimin glances at Jeongguk, almost tripping over his own feet when finding that he isn't only twirling a lighter between his fingers, but also already looking down at Jimin with his unreadable, but still as gorgeous, eyes.

"O-oh... Yeah, it's going to be pretty tough," Jimin nods quickly, not even knowing what he's saying as he finally manages to tear his eyes from Jeongguk's.

They arrive at the classroom, taking their usual seats. Mrs. Yong comes up to them quickly before class starts, seeming stressed.

"Jimin-ssi, Jeongguk-ssi, I have completely forgotten to tell you that you both have until after autumn break to finish your cover," she says hastily. "I realize that you don't have as much time to prepare with Nari-ssi leaving your group so suddenly, and we are not going to start anything new on Friday, anyway. Just make sure to be ready to record on Wednesday after the break, or sometime before then. I'll unlock the studio for you whenever."

Jimin and Jeongguk exchange glances, and Jimin answers the teacher's proposition. "That's really nice of you, teacher-nim. We appreciate it!"

Mrs. Yong gives them two thumbs up before rushing back to her desk.

Jeongguk has the cutest smile Jimin has ever laid eyes on as he looks back to him, front teeth peeking out and all. Jimin just melts right then and there.

"That's kinda awesome. You'll be moving in at the beginning of next week so we'll have plenty of opportunities to practice," Jeongguk says, and Jimin feels the strong urge to kiss him, something that he has been fighting a lot these past weeks of seeing more of Jeongguk.

But then there is that detail of him moving in, becoming a part of the household—the family. It is a constant reminder that he really should not be silently pining after Jeongguk like the hopeless, lovesick fool that he is.

He just can't help it. It's all Jeongguk's fault for being so attractive and interesting. It should be a crime or something.

"Yeah...but let's still practice a bit now?" Jimin says, avoiding Jeongguk's eyes by pretending to forget in which folder he saved the progress they made last time, clicking away on his computer.

Jeongguk hums in agreement and they use the lesson to further figure out the different parts and harmonies and try to get as synchronized as possible.

Nari doesn't show up that day, either.

⋆˚࿔

On Thursday, Jeongguk and Taehyung join Jimin and his friends in the library after lunch.

They are all getting closer, especially Taehyung, Hoseok and Seokjin. Jimin has also taken notice that Jeongguk and Namjoon get along surprisingly well. And of course Jeongguk and Jimin himself have been making a lot of progress. Jimin is glad, because the fact that Jeongguk is getting more comfortable makes all of them more relaxed.

⋆˚࿔

On Friday in music class, Nari doesn't show up either. Jeongguk can tell that Jimin is getting worried.

"Why would she stay home for this long?" he asks no one in particular, worrying his lip between his teeth.

Jeongguk shrugs. "Maybe she really is sick. Like, something serious," he suggests.

Jimin sighs. "I have a weird feeling, and it's not a positive one. I feel like it's my fault, because it was after we spoke that she just disappeared."

Jeongguk watches a pout form on Jimin's glossy lips and hates that he looks so cute like this. So...soft.

Jimin probably catches the way his eyes flicker to his mouth for more than a second. 

Jeongguk turns his head to the front again, tongue peeking out to play with the piercing in his own lip. "Don't worry so much."

"Okay," Jimin squeaks out silently, and when Jeongguk turns to look at him in question, the younger boy turns his face away to hide blushing cheeks.

"Yeah..." Jeongguk feels a hint of amusement at how shy Jimin is acting. He scoots his chair out to stand. "Let's practice."

Jimin nods, following him to do just that, and keeps getting flustered the whole lesson.

Jeongguk may know that he can't start anything with Jimin—for multiple reasons—but he also can't help that Jimin is impossibly attractive to him. He's getting more so every day as Jeongguk gets to know him better.

Jimin just has a way of getting him out of his shell. It's kind of like how it was when Taehyung and him met, but also so different.

Taehyung made Jeongguk feel comfortable by being loud and careless like Jeongguk himself.

Jimin doesn't exactly do that. No, it's a different kind of pull. It's in his heart.

Not even Taehyung managed to get all the way into his heart in such a short time. Not nearly. Maybe not even now, not completely.

But Jimin is just so unthinkably nice. He's kind and pure and so pretty that it makes Jeongguk fucking double-take sometimes. He just seems so right for Jeongguk. It's not like anything he's ever experienced before and he just knows that he has always longed to feel something like this.

The fact that he has the ability to make Jimin flustered is not helping his forbidden feelings at all. Quite the opposite, but Jeongguk isn't one to be embarrassed easily. He takes full responsibility for his actions and rarely regrets anything.

If Jimin catches him staring at his lips, that  isn't something he will regret. Jimin has unbelievable lips and he should be aware of that already. It's the whole ordeal of actually feeling attracted to him like this—that’s what Jeongguk dislikes.

He didn't even feel like this toward his ex at any point. He didn't even know he had such feelings. He just feels regretful that it's toward Jimin.

Jimin, whose mother is Jeongguk's father's girlfriend. Jimin, who is a boy. Jimin, who is about to move into his house. Jimin, who has been hurt by guys similar to Jeongguk. Jimin, who is naive and pure and too sweet for Jeongguk to taint.

He can't just erase the attraction either. It's just there. Like an itch under his skin that can't be scratched without giving in. It's making him insanely frustrated, so tempted to do just that. Give in. Just press Jimin to a wall and have at those lips that haunt his thoughts daily.

But then the reasons why he really should not are there in the back of his mind, reminding him that he should continue to fight it.

⋆˚࿔

Later that day, everyone eats dinner at the Parks' house for the last time before they need to start packing everything into boxes. Just that process will take days, and then everything needs to be unpacked at the Jeons' house.

After eating, Sooyun reminds Jimin that she is supposed to tell him about her exes and the three of them go upstairs into Jimin's room.

Jeongguk has never seen his room before and isn't very surprised to see that it's filled with light. The bedspread, desk and shelves are a soft, light yellow shade and almost everything else is white or wood.

Jeongguk spins around in an armchair, continuing to take in the room as Sooyun and Jimin start talking.

Jeongguk half-listens to Sooyun telling Jimin about the boy who was so obsessed with her that she had to report him and then about the one who broke up with her because she called his car a piece of junk once.

"He totally flipped and ended a year-long relationship because of that." Sooyun laughs.

Jimin looks at her in disbelief. "What is it with guys and cars?"

Sooyun laughs even more. "Don't ask me, ask Jeongguk."

Jimin looks at Jeongguk expectantly, eyes adorably wide and Jeongguk shrugs.

"I'm not obsessed," he denies, "but I guess it's like a child for some people. Taehyung sees his bike as his baby."

"And that is absolutely ridiculous," Sooyun says, then waves a hand in dismissal. "Anyway, I wasn't so into that guy in the end. I'd started seeing more of Tae by then and suddenly I couldn't even see what I was attracted to in the car-guy," she explains, grinning.

Jimin hums with a smile. "Yeah, Taehyung hyung is really nice."

Sooyun squints her eyes at him playfully. "Do I need to see you as a threat?"

Jimin bursts out in cute giggles. "Not at all. He is obviously just into you. Taken guys are not really my scene..." Jimin's eyes flicker over to Jeongguk quickly before looking back to Sooyun, nibbling on his lip.

"Good, 'cause you'd be some real competition," Sooyun says, wiggling her eyebrows.

Jimin raises his eyebrows. "But Tae hyung is straight."

Sooyun tsks, ruffling Jimin's hair. "Have you seen you? If I were a dude you would definitely be my gay awakening. I'm sure you've done that to quite a few, haven't you?" she asks, giving a suggestive look.

Jimin blushes. "I mean...not permanently, I think...? I don't know what happened with the straight guys that I've... Yeah," he trails off, embarrassed.

Sooyun bursts out laughing at that. "You're so cute, Jimin-ah. If I didn't hear what you just said, I would totally think you talked about puppies or something way more innocent."

Jimin blushes harder and attempts to hide in his hands. "Stop..."

Jeongguk tries not to let his mind wander to a less innocent Jimin and picks up a book laying on Jimin's desk to distract himself, reading the backside.

"Nothing to be ashamed about." Sooyun shrugs. "You're human, we all have our needs. And that, people, is one of the many beauties of having a boyfriend," she announces, grinning when Jeongguk gags.

"Don't act like you're immune, baby bro," the blue haired girl sing-songs and Jeongguk just grunts in response. "Anyways, what are you guys wearing for Halloween? Me and Tae bought a bunch of new decorations for the house and the best couple-costume ever."

"I haven't really thought about it... I guess I'll match with Taemin hyung, since my friends will be matching with each other and couple-costumes are more fun," Jimin ponders, and Sooyun raises her eyebrows.

"Who is Taemin? Have you gone and gotten a boyfriend without telling me?" 

"He’s just a new friend. I met him on the bus the other week."

"So, a possible future boyfriend? Is that what you're saying? 'Cause that's what I'm hearing." Sooyun wiggles her eyebrows with a big smile.

Jimin laughs and shakes his head. "Let's stick with friends for now," he says, then looks at Jeongguk who is turning the pages of one of his books. "What about you, Jeongguk-ssi? Are you matching with the girl you're seeing?"

It's quiet for a few moments, Jeongguk slowly looking up as he waits for the words to process in his sister's brain.

When it happens, Sooyun shoots up from the bed. "The what now?!" she shouts, crowding into Jeongguk's space and grabbing his shoulders, shaking him as if answers will fall out of him if she does.

Jimin watches with wide eyes. "Oops, I thought she knew. Sorry."

"It's fine. It's no one, Sooyun. Stop making a fuss," Jeongguk sighs, pushing his sister away.

Sooyun scoffs, crossing her arms. "You have just been sleeping around since Cho, I'm allowed to make a fuss. Who is she? Can't be just anyone."

"Yes it can, and it is. It's just someone Tae knows, apparently," Jeongguk brushes it off like it's not as big of a deal as it seems.

"Taehyung knows and not me?! Do you not love me anymore?" Sooyun asks, a dramatic hand over her heart.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "'Course I do, stop overreacting. It's just really not that serious. We've only been on three dates."

Sooyun raises her eyebrows. "Three?! That's...many! I'm really proud of you, Jeongguk-ah!"

Jeongguk cringes, eyes flickering to Jimin and back to his sister. "Yeah, whatever. I don't think it'll be many more anyways."

"What? Why?" Sooyun frowns.

Jeongguk sighs. "You know why."

Sooyun slumps back on the bed again, pouting. Jimin looks confused and is probably wondering what is going on. 

"At least you're trying, baby bro. That's really great," Sooyun hums, encouraging.

Jeongguk just nods once, looking back at the book in his hands. "This seems really good, have you read it?" he asks, looking up at Jimin.

Jimin startles, a slow smile forming on his face. "It's one of my favorites. I've read it at least fifteen times. You can borrow it if you want."

Jeongguk's lips twitch upwards. "Thanks."

"So... You're not taking the mystery girl to the party?" Sooyun asks.

Jeongguk shrugs. "Maybe. I could give it one more try."

Sooyun grins at that. "Great! I wanna meet her."

Jeongguk hums, putting the book in his lap and picks up a bracelet instead. The clasp is broken and it looks beautiful but really old.

"Kids! We're leaving!" Hyunwoo's voice is heard from downstairs and Sooyun peels herself off the bed with a sigh, walking out of the room.

Jimin looks at what Jeongguk is holding and smiles sadly. "Mom bought me that for my tenth birthday. I've worn it every day since and it gave up on me last week. Guess it was long overdue, but I'm still sad. Felt like it was a part of me," he explains and Jeongguk looks from him to the bracelet again.

"It's just a broken clasp. I can fix it, if you want," he offers.

Jimin looks surprised for a moment before hesitantly shaking his head. "It's okay, you don't have to do that."

Jeongguk opens his mouth to say something and stops himself.

He was about to say that he wants to. He wants to fix Jimin's bracelet. He wants to make him happy. It's such a rare feeling for Jeongguk to have that it renders him speechless. He's not quite ready to face it yet.

He just nods and slowly puts the bracelet back on the desk.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk is awake until the sun rises that night, strumming on his guitar to different songs that play through the expanse of his room. He even sings along, trying to let out the emotions he's feeling through the music.

It doesn't work quite like it used to.

Chapter Text

Jimin and his mother are done packing their things on Monday evening, with the help of Jeongguk, Sooyun and Hyunwoo.

The house has been up for sale for two days and there have already been a handful of couples and families coming to check it out.

Jimin doesn't feel that sad looking into his old room, now empty except for the bed, the desk and a few empty shelves that they are leaving behind because Jimin's new room at the Jeons’ already has a bigger bed, a desk and more shelves.

They start moving everything on Tuesday. Jimin's friends all come to help, including Taemin. Jeongguk, Hoseok and Taemin have all volunteered to drive.

Jimin's friends are all excited to meet Taemin, and they almost attack the man when he arrives, flocking around him like birds around breadcrumbs.

"You must be Taemin! Hi, I'm Hoseok," Hoseok greets, sticking out his hand for Taemin to shake.

The older boy chuckles. "Nice to meet you."

They all continue to greet each other. Jimin's friends are a little too eager but Taemin just seems amused. 

Jeongguk, Hoseok and Taemin drive off to Jimin's house to pick up boxes, leaving the others behind because that makes for more space in the vehicles.

⋆˚࿔

"I can take the second floor," Taemin offers as they arrive at the vacant house, entering with a key Jimin gave them.

Jeongguk already dislikes Taemin.

Just the way his hand rested on the small of Jimin's back when they greeted each other far longer than their hug lasted, and the way everyone laughs too easily whenever the silver-haired guy says something.

Who chooses silver as a hair color at this age, anyway? Does he want to give off elderly man-vibes?

"No, I'll take the ones upstairs. You two can start here," Jeongguk decides, finality in his tone.

Hoseok shrugs and heaves up a box in his arms, carrying it to his car.

"That's kind of impolite," Taemin points out, raising an eyebrow at Jeongguk's cold demeanor, "seeing as you're younger than me."

Jeongguk wants to scoff because does Taemin think he gives a fuck?

"If you're so old, what's your deal with Jimin?" Jeongguk counters, his expression blank, but his words are laced with something ugly.

Taehyung raises both eyebrows this time. "There is no deal. We're friends. What's your problem?"

Hoseok comes back inside and Taemin glances at him while Jeongguk continues to stare him down.

"Everything okay?" Hoseok asks, unsure.

"Yep," Taemin hums and Hoseok nods slowly before taking the next box outside.

"I just don't get how you even managed to become this close so fast. Jimin is naive and I don't trust his judgment," Jeongguk states.

Taemin breathes out a laugh. "And I'm guessing you're asking as a protective older brother, right?"

Jeongguk crosses his arms. "Right."

Taemin smirks. "I call bullshit."

Jeongguk snaps his head to the side slightly, eyes narrowing. "Whatever you think you know, you don't. So stop fucking smiling like it."

Taemin does not stop smiling, instead moves past Jeongguk with a pat on his shoulder. "Okay, big guy. Whatever you say."

Jeongguk fumes. He's about to turn around and grab Taemin when Hoseok enters again, making him rethink and rationalize his thoughts.

Instead, he goes upstairs to Jimin's room and angrily, but carefully—because that is why he wanted to take the upper floor in the first place—stacks two of the boxes on top of each other and carries them to his car with ease. He clears the rest of the floor in the same amount of time as the other two do downstairs and ignores Taemin's existence to stay focused and sane.

But, fuck, he's so pissed.

He hated the knowing look on Taemin’s stupid face. As if he understands shit. Jeongguk doesn't even understand shit himself, for fuck’s sake.

All he knows is that he doesn't like Taemin. At all.

Jeongguk has gotten closer to Jimin the past week and he does want to know Taemin's motives for Jimin's sake as a protective hyung, what else? The blonde has been exposed to too much of the disappointing kind of human beings already. He just wants to make sure Taemin isn't one of them.

⋆˚࿔

When all nine of the friends have worked together to successfully get all the boxes into the Jeons' house, they take a break.

"So what do you do, Taemin hyung? Have you finished school?" Taehyung asks, an arm around Sooyun's shoulders. They are all sitting in the lounge room in the basement.

"Yeah, I studied fashion design," Taemin confirms. "Now I work from home mostly."

"Wow! So you, like, sew your own clothes?" Hoseok asks, eyes wide.

Taemin chuckles. "Sometimes. Most often I'm just the designer, though. I have three trustworthy employees who help me."

"You have your own company?!" Hoseok continues, now with his jaw dropped. Jimin chuckles, looking amused at the reactions.

"Yeah," Taemin smiles, "I've always been designing and last year another, more famous designer discovered my work and posted about me. Now I sell my work to specific buyers."

"That is so cool... Can we see some?" Seokjin asks.

Jeongguk tries his hardest not to roll his eyes as Taemin takes out his phone, everyone giggling when seeing his phone case—SpongeBob and Patrick kissing. Of course the guy isn't straight. Fuck.

The day goes by painfully slow for Jeongguk, everyone busy fussing over Taemin's life and how he and Jimin met and something about a dance camp years ago. It doesn't help that Jimin's head is on Taemin's shoulder throughout the majority of the time they sit there.

After an hour and a half Jeongguk has enough, standing up and walking out of the room, up the stairs to the kitchen.

He huffs as he leans back on the counter, willing himself to calm down and stop acting like a douche.

It's easier said than done when all he can think about is how Jimin has a new friend who has two male cartoon characters kissing on his phone case and seems to be more than fine being close to Jimin and vice versa.

But being this jealous isn't even fair. Jeongguk should just stay the fuck out of it. How hard can it be?

"Seriously, get it together," Jeongguk mutters to himself, mad that he isn't in control.

Jeongguk fills a glass with cold water and chugs it down like it will soothe his inner turmoil. It doesn't.

"Can I get one of those?"

Jeongguk lowers the glass and turns around. Jimin is standing in the doorway, a small smile playing on his lips.

Jeongguk nods, getting another glass of water and passing it to Jimin.

"Thanks." Jimin peers at Jeongguk without drinking any. "Why'd you go?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "Just thirsty."

"There's water in the mini fridge."

Jeongguk is a bit surprised that he's really confronting him. Jimin seems to be getting more comfortable around him with each passing day.

"Why do you care? You seemed to have fun without me a minute ago. Go back to the others," Jeongguk says, face blank as Jimin's smile falls.

Inside, Jeongguk is kicking himself for making Jimin lose that pretty smile, but he is just naturally defensive and an ass like that.

"Sorry, I... I just wanted to see if you were okay," Jimin mumbles, looking away.

Jeongguk mentally kicks himself harder.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me, Jimin."

Jimin looks up at him again, a new fire in his eyes, determined.

"No. You can't say that now."

Jeongguk raises his eyebrows while Jimin furrows his. "Huh?"

Jimin shakes his head, putting the full glass on the counter and crosses his arms. He looks cute but intimidating at the same time and Jeongguk doesn't know what he's supposed to feel.

"We are going to be living in the same house, and for mom's sake I hope it's for a long time. That means spending a lot of time around each other. I won't just ignore you, Jeongguk-ssi. That's not me, and if that's what you want... Well, then I'm going to have to disappoint you because I will care," Jimin says firmly and Jeongguk is so shocked he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Never has anyone ever confronted him like this aside from his father, sister or Taehyung. Not even teachers, all of them too intimidated by his appearance.

Strangely, he finds it sort of hot.

Fuck.

"I... Okay? I don't know what you want me to say," Jeongguk stutters slightly, eyes wider than usual. He really doesn't know how to handle a...mad ? Jimin. Is he mad? Judging by the way he's looking at him he's probably mad.

"I just want you to stop letting me in only to shut me out again the next day. It's exhausting and if I'm going to live here you have to cooperate," Jimin explains, a small pout on his lips.

Jeongguk nods, still surprised with how the conversation took such a sharp turn.

"Okay, okay, I'll try. Can you go back to happy, fluffy Jimin now?" Jeongguk requests, only half-thinking about what he's saying, puzzled and a bit turned on.

Jimin starts giggling at the words, and it's such a contrast to the previous frown and pout that Jeongguk is getting dizzy. "Happy and fluffy? Is that how you see me?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "Among other things. But none of those things are angry, so. I honestly didn't think you could get mad. 'S scary," he mumbles.

Jimin continues giggling. "You're funny, Jeongguk-ssi. Sorry I lashed out a bit. I'm just on edge with moving and all I guess, and your moodiness isn't helping."

"Yeah, sorry. This just isn't my day," Jeongguk admits, putting his glass on the counter next to Jimin’s.

"Just keep what I said in mind. I want us to be friends."

Jeongguk's head fogs at the sound of that word, something deep in his heart protesting. However, he has an excellent brain-to-mouth filter.

"Yeah. Sure." Jeongguk nods, not able to say the words back but it's good enough.

Jimin smiles again. "Great! Let's go back down?"

Jeongguk nods, not really wanting to but neither does he want to see Jimin frown. Fuck, he's getting too soft.

⋆˚࿔

"Please tell me he kissed you," Taemin whispers into Jimin's ear as the younger one sits down in the spot next to him again.

The silent words are drowned out by the others' loudness but that doesn't stop Jimin from startling and looking at Taemin with wide eyes, ears burning up in seconds.

"What are you talking about?!" he hisses after spluttering for a while.

Taemin groans, slumping back in his seat with disappointment written across his face. "I'll take that as a no."

Jimin continues fumbling after words, in disbelief.

"Why would you even suggest that?"

Taemin takes his hand and promptly drags him out of the room, ignoring the way Seokjin and Taehyung 'ooo's after them. Jimin sends them a glare, though.

"What?" Jimin exclaims as they reach the bottom of the stairs, out of hearing range from the others.

"He is so not straight, Jiminie."

Jimin stares. "Yes he is."

"No, seriously. He has been glaring at me the whole day," Taemin explains, shaking Jimin by his shoulders.

Jimin blinks. "Why would he glare at you?"

"'Cause he's jealous, of course! Like, really jealous. He even snapped at me, saying that he's worried that I have some ulterior motive, which is the most bullshit excuse I have ever heard. He's just worried I want to get together with you. He is so jealous, trust me. I have seen my fair share of it and this is a prime example," Taemin rambles, a little too passionate about this. Jimin would laugh if it wasn't for what he is actually saying.

"I really don't think so, hyung. He wouldn't care if I got together with you," Jimin denies, shaking his head.

Taemin shakes him by his shoulders again with a frustrated groan.

"Jimin. Sweet, innocent, pure Jimin-ah. Trust your elders. Jeongguk isn't straight and he would be pissed if we got together. I can even swear to you, and that's what I got from one day. This is so amazing. I'm helping people find love. I'll write about this in my resumé."

Jimin stares at Taemin with disbelief. He can't imagine that Jeongguk would care if he dated anyone. Jeongguk himself is dating a girl, for crying out loud.

"But he is dating someone else, hyung. He’s never been with a guy before, I'm ninety-nine percent sure," Jimin argues, not able to believe Taemin.

"Yeah, forgot to mention that he's in denial. A pretty serious case of it if I had to guess. Typical after a gay awakening, though." Taemin nods to himself.

Jimin splutters. "Y-you mean– I'm– Hyung! Stop saying things like that! It's not true."

Taemin rolls his eyes. "Stop being modest. You are hands down the prettiest guy I’ve met. I was shocked when I saw that that fact hasn't gotten to your head and made you cocky already."

Jimin cringes, not wanting compliments right now.

"Jeongguk is a simple, lowkey gay, man. If someone is gonna open his eyes, it's you. Forget everything I said about dropping subtle hints that you want to be more than friends. You are so good to go with seducing him now." Taemin sighs in contentment, patting Jimin's head.

"Wha– No!" Jimin exclaims in a hushed voice, eyes wide.

"Yes, Jimin-ah. Do you want the guy or not? He needs a pretty big push to accept the fact that he's into you, though." Taemin hums in thought. "The best thing would be if we got him to take the first step himself, rather than you seducing him, actually. He needs to realize and really believe it, you know? Do you think we should make him think we're getting closer than friends? Maybe we should play on this jealousy," Taemin continues pondering.

"If what you're saying is true, which it's not, jealousy still isn't something to play with. That shit hurts." Jimin frowns.

"But then again, what I'm saying isn't true, right? So we can do it for fun!" Taemin tries to negotiate, grinning smugly.

Jimin pauses. That's true. Jeongguk won't get jealous. They can do it for fun.

"Maybe," he settles with.

Taemin laughs happily. "That's not a no. We can start tomorrow, just hanging out here again. And then during the party on Thursday we'll get drunk and kiss in front of him or something. He'll be so pissed. You'll see."

Jimin scrunches his nose up, not believing it at all.

"For fun," Jimin sighs. "I would probably have kissed you anyway, honestly."

Taemin tilts his head to the side in question, "You would?"

Jimin waves his hand in the air. "I kiss anyone when I'm drunk," he explains.

Taemin laughs. "That's perfect, then. Let's do it."

⋆˚࿔

When Areum and Hyunwoo come home that evening, they all go through the more essential boxes, getting the Parks settled in.

Their friends leave before dinner and left are the two families that are now officially living in the same house.

"So, today at work, Areum and I were thinking about the practical parts of this. This house is not really built for five adults, but we can make it work if we work together and communicate," Hyunwoo begins.

"We only have two bathrooms to work with so we really need to talk things through to prevent war," Areum continues, swirling her chopsticks in her noodles.

"We thought that the most practical way to split them is if everyone on the first floor uses the bathroom on that floor. Jimin, your room is upstairs, but we thought that you could share with Jeongguk in the basement? For obvious reasons."

Jimin nods. "Yeah, that...that makes sense."

"Jeongguk?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

Jimin nibbles on his lower lip, not meeting Jeongguk's eyes.

"Good. And if one of us just gotta pee and the nearest bathroom is free, of course you can use that. This is just for the mornings when everyone needs to shower and get ready," Areum adds.

"Yeah, we'll make it work, don't worry," Sooyun smiles, "but if you take all my hot water…" she trails off warningly, pointing a chopstick at Areum.

"Likewise." Areum chuckles, Sooyun joining her.

Jimin smiles, stirring his noodles absentmindedly. He loves that Sooyun has found a friend in his mother.

"Then that's settled! Next, chores..." Hyunwoo smiles and all the younger three make sounds of complaint.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin moves his toiletries to the basement that night, feeling a little unsure there but he will get used to it, he figures.

His stomach does a little swoop as he sets his shampoo and conditioner next to Jeongguk's, his brain forcing him to wonder if this is what it would look like if they lived together under other circumstances.

While brushing his teeth, he looks through the cabinets out of curiosity.

He finds the usual stuff, like toilet paper and a first aid kit, but also a few of Jeongguk's things. Like things for shaving, and his cologne.

Jimin pauses his brushing to carefully pick the bottle up and smell it. He regrets doing so afterwards because he nearly moans out loud at the scent and how much it screams Jeongguk and his mysterious sexiness.

He puts it back in place and quickly finishes brushing his teeth.

The bedroom he has taken over is the only room on the second floor, like an attic. It was a guest room before.

The walls are a pleasant light blue and the bed is big and really soft. Jimin loves it. And even more he loves that he got a whole floor to himself. If he ever feels like he wants privacy or feels the need to escape the others, he can put a lot of distance between them like this.

He feels very safe there.

⋆˚࿔

Wednesday goes by slowly.

Jimin wakes up in his new room and is confused for just a moment before remembering that, right, he is in his new home.

It's eight in the morning as he walks downstairs and he figures that Jeongguk and Sooyun are still sleeping.

Jimin doesn't know why he's up so early on a break. He usually likes to stay in bed until noon when he doesn't have school. Perhaps it's the newness of his surroundings that's messing with his routines.

He opens a few cabinets in the kitchen to hopefully find some cereal for breakfast and can't help but grin when he finds coco pops and fruit loops. He wonders if it's Sooyun or Jeongguk that has a hard time letting go of their childhood, or maybe both of them.

Despite preferring something much less sweet, Jimin grabs the fruit loops and some milk from the fridge. He will have to come along to the grocery store next time.

While eating he remembers that Taemin is supposed to come hang out today.

He doesn't know what to think of the older boy's so-called plan. He doubts that anything will happen, but at least he enjoys Taemin's company.

He sends a message asking when he's coming and gets a response that the other will be busy until around four in the afternoon, so he will come by sometime after that.

Jimin goes back up to his room after wasting some time watching a wedding dress show on the TV, planning to dance for the time he has left until Taemin comes over.

He changes into black shorts and a blue, loose crop top. When dancing he likes to wear clothes that make him feel confident, or else he won't reach his full potential. In this case that means showing as much skin as possible, because it shows off the slim and strong body he has worked for and is proud of.

Thankfully, he brought his large full length mirror with him and his new room has more than enough space to move around in.

He plays the music in headphones to not disturb the others in the house and starts perfecting the choreography that he has been practicing the past months.

Now he knows it without having to look at the youtube video and he loves how powerful but slow and sensual it is, how the muscles in his thighs and torso get to work hard.

He runs through the choreography countless times and repeats dances that he has learned in the past, until his body is aching in the best way and his blonde hair is sticking to his forehead.

He removes his headphones and grabs a new set of clothes and a towel before making his way down the stairs, finding the floor still empty even though it's now an hour past noon. He continues down to the basement, his legs protesting because of the fatigue.

Just as he's about to open the door to the bathroom, it opens for him and out comes Jeongguk.

Jimin holds in a gasp of surprise and instead swallows it down at the sight of the taller boy's messy bed head and how hot he looks in a sleeveless tank, tattoos out for the world—right now, Jimin—to see. Jeongguk usually wears oversized T-shirts so this is a new experience for Jimin's poor heart.

Jeongguk halts in front of him so as to not collide with him and blinks once, then there is a moment of silence where he does a slow, very obvious and beautifully shameless once-over of Jimin.

Jimin feels his skin tingle where Jeongguk's gaze drags by.

"Good morning," Jimin greets, voice a higher pitch than usual in his panicked state.

Jeongguk's eyes find his again and Jimin abuses his lip when they're even darker than before, boring into his.

"Morning," he rasps, voice deeper as it's unused since yesterday. It sends shivers down Jimin's spine.

"Are– Um, are y-you done?" Jimin stutters, making a small gesture towards the bathroom.

Jeongguk hums in affirmation, stepping aside and letting his eyes slide over the length of Jimin's body again.

Jimin forces his gaze away from Jeongguk and slips inside the room, closing the door and taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

If this is how living here is going to be, he isn't sure how he will manage.

Jeongguk looked at him like a fucking predator, and it was definitely not what Jimin was expecting from him because, frankly, Jimin was prepared for a more unbothered and not so...gay reaction to another guy in tight shorts and a cropped shirt.

This makes Jimin's life a thousand times harder—the fact that Jeongguk isn't afraid of looking at him like that makes heat crawl under his skin.

Shit, he doesn't even know if he can trust his own memory. If Jeongguk really checked him out…more than once. Jeongguk is supposed to be his straight, unattainable, wet dream-coded crush. Jeongguk is not supposed to be looking at his thighs with that look in his eyes.

No, Jimin's eyes are definitely not working right now. That never happened.

He takes a colder shower than usual, trying to get rid of the heat under his skin that’s making him feel like his whole body is blushing. It doesn't work.

⋆˚࿔

Taemin comes bearing gifts. Dinner, to be exact.

"How do you like Japanese takeout?" he asks Jimin with a grin.

Jimin laughs. "You didn't have to! We could have ordered pizza to the house," he says, taking one of the three bags of food. "This is enough food for eight people...!"

"Yeah, I didn't know what you liked so I opted for a wide range. And I don't know how much you all eat." Taemin shrugs with a sheepish smile.

Jimin perks up when Taemin acknowledges the others. "I'll go get them! Turn on the TV if you want."

He tells Sooyun first, making her bounce out immediately at the mention of food. Then he swallows his nerves and goes down to the basement.

Jeongguk is in the middle of an overwatch game when there is a knock on his door.

Sooyun rarely knocks, just walks right in or, if it's locked, she yanks the handle until he opens.

So assuming it's Jimin, he pauses the game, very lowkey hoping that he'll still be in one of those fucking sinful pair of shorts.

"You can come in."

He watches as the door opens and tries to ignore his disappointment when there are no shorts but a pair of blue jeans.

"Taemin hyung brought takeout!" Jimin smiles brightly.

Jeongguk's mood sours drastically at that. "Okay, and?"

Jimin nibbles on his lip, going wary and tilting his head.

"And it's...for all of us. We're eating right now in the living room," he clarifies.

Jeongguk contemplates. Takeout and Taemin or no takeout but also no Taemin.

He looks back up at Jimin and sees that he is frowning slightly, eyes flickering around the room uncertainly.

Fuck, he needs to be less of a dick.

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there in a minute." Jeongguk sighs, hating that he continues to have a soft spot with Jimin's name on it. But Jimin lights up, and it's worth it.

When it comes to actually sitting in the same room as Taemin, watching him make Jimin laugh every other second, Jeongguk starts to regret his decision. A lot.

He has accepted the fact that he is jealous but that doesn't mean he can endure it any easier. It irks him infinitely that the two of them are getting closer. 

"So what's the story behind the tattoos and piercings? It feels a little unusual for siblings to have the same style, or?" Taemin asks after he, Sooyun and Jimin have gone through a heated discussion about the characters in the movie they put on, even pausing it to shout about how stupid the main character is. Jeongguk was just rolling his eyes at his phone throughout the whole thing as Taemin sided with Jimin against Sooyun, and just shrugged when his sister tried to get him to join her side.

Sooyun looks at Jeongguk and Jeongguk looks back, unamused as she raises her eyebrows to get him to answer the question. She has clearly had enough of him being antisocial.

"If you're in a gang, I won't tell. I promise," Taemin adds, putting a hand on his heart and Jimin giggles beside him. The jealousy feels like liquid heat inside Jeongguk, burning in his chest.

"We're not. We just like how it looks," Jeongguk says, concealing the feelings inside as he looks at Taemin and it's surprisingly very hard.

Jeongguk never has a hard time concealing what he's feeling, and maybe that's because he rarely feels strong emotions. Fucking Jimin and his affect on him. It's making him lose control over himself and he hates it at times like these.

Other times he just wants to give up control.

"Simple as that? Huh," Taemin hums, eyebrows raised as he takes a sip of coke.

"Jeonggukie is a bit more into piercings than me, though. If we don’t count ears, I only have these," Sooyun puts her tongue behind her bottom lip to make the snake bite piercings jut out, then grins. 

Taemin nods in understanding and Jeongguk is surprised that he doesn't ask further, considering only his lip ring and eyebrow piercing are visible right now.

"But my tattoos are cooler than Gguk's," she adds, sticking her tongue out at her brother and Jeongguk mimics her.

"Which one of you is even older?" Taemin asks, chuckling.

"I am," Sooyun is quick to announce, smug.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "We're twins."

Sooyun huffs as Jimin chuckles and Taemin makes a sound in realization.

"Can you, like, feel what the other is feeling and stuff?" Taemin questions jokingly.

Sooyun's eyes widen dramatically. "I thank god every day that I don't. I want to feel joy once in a while."

Taemin laughs.

"I feel joy, demon," Jeongguk mutters.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

Jimin giggles. "No fighting."

Jeongguk glances at the younger boy, reveling in the pretty smile on his face before going back to doing nothing on his phone.

"What are you two going as to the party tomorrow?" Sooyun asks Jimin and Taemin.

The two look at each other and grin before looking back to Sooyun.

"You'll see," Jimin says, muffling a giggle.

Sooyun squints her eyes and leans back on the sofa she's sharing with Jeongguk. "Okay... Something funny, then."

Taemin and Jimin start laughing. Jimin leans his weight on Taemin and Taemin slaps Jimin's thigh. Jeongguk glares at the hand that rests there after they've calmed down. He looks up to Taemin’s face and finds the other looking at him with a small, annoyingly smug smile and Jeongguk glares harder.

"It's really not. But the fact that we're actually dressing up as it is funny," Jimin explains, oblivious.

"Sounds interesting," Sooyun grins, "I'm officially curious."

"You should be," Taemin chuckles.

"Me and Jeonggukie will leave you to your movie night now," Sooyun announces, stacking their plates up and rising to her feet. "Thanks for the food! And don't forget to tell all your friends about the party. ‘The more the merrier’ is our favorite saying," she calls over her shoulder as she leaves with Jeongguk in tow.

"Will do!" Taemin calls back, then turns to Jimin with a smile. "I'm sure Ara and Cho will be up for it. Probably Sejin and Hyunae, too," he contemplates.

Jimin smiles. "I'm looking forward to meeting them... I really liked Ara."

Taemin nods. "You'll love them all, and they'll definitely love you. You're too cute not to love." He grins, pinching Jimin's cheek playfully.

Jimin scrunches his nose up, waving the hand away. Taemin just laughs.

"Are you excited for the party?" Taemin asks as they get up to clear the rest of the table of empty boxes.

"I am. Mostly because of what we're dressing up as, though. I'm still not confident about the other part." Jimin nibbles on his lip.

Taemin tsks. "Are you kidding? Jeongguk is already jealous and we haven't even done anything non-friendly. You should have seen the way he glared at me when I had my hand on your thigh earlier." He whistles lowly before laughing.

They walk up the stairs to Jimin's room. 

"You did? He did? Are you sure?"

Taemin huffs out an annoyed sound, slapping Jimin’s shoulder lightly. "You need to start trusting me! You're blind if you can't see it. Has he really not shown any sign of being at least a little interested in you? I highly doubt it."

Jimin contemplates, biting down on his lower lip as he thinks back at the way Jeongguk looked at him earlier. Taemin looks at him as they sit down in the middle of Jimin's bed facing each other, jaw dropping slightly in excitement.

"He has! I knew it! Now we just gotta make him snap out of whatever is holding him back," Taemin cheers.

Jimin frowns. "I still can't believe it. It's Jeongguk. He can't be interested in me. And if you're right, it's not nice to make someone jealous on purpose... I don't like it."

Taemin slaps his knee this time.

"Stop talking fucking nonsense. It isn't weird at all that Jeongguk is interested, are you kidding? Have you seen you? Sure, Jeongguk is hot, but you're gorgeous and you know it," Taemin vents, frustrated.

Jimin looks at him with wide eyes and feels himself flush at the compliment.

"Everyone uses jealousy to get things,” Taemin continues. “It's a little mean but it works like a charm and in the end everyone's happy. Don't feel bad. He’s stubborn, but hopefully it won't take that long," 

Jimin sighs. "Okay. Let's not talk about that anymore."

"Okay, Jiminie. About our costumes..."

They spend the rest of the evening just hanging out, and Jimin tries not to think of what they are doing tomorrow as a plan, but rather something fun that he wants to do. Taemin is a good friend and they are just going to party together.

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk isn't much for dressing up.

Minji insisted that they get ready together at his house but he said no. He doesn't want her in his room. That's his space.

He realizes that this thing he is trying with Minji isn't working, but couldn't care less right now.

All he can think about is Jimin, and it's frustrating him to no end.

Minji wanted Jeongguk to be the devil while she was an angel. Jeongguk wanted to say that that is the most basic thing he has ever heard, but then he thought about how convenient it would be, just putting on a pair of horns and then his costume would be done, so he agreed.

Now he's helping Taehyung, Sooyun, Hoseok and Yoongi decorate the house. It's already looking like the perfect scene. Everything is black, red, orange or green—even the dimmed lights. There are fake spiderwebs everywhere after Sooyun went overboard, owning three whole packs of the stuff. Skeletons and other fake creatures are chilling in corners or hanging from the ceiling and they even colored the punch black with food coloring.

The first bunch of people arrive around 9 pm, Seokjin and Namjoon being two of them. They are dressed up as vampires, but with a very modern twist where a lot of skin is showing. Namjoon only looks mildly uncomfortable wearing an open coat with no shirt underneath while Seokjin is walking in with his broad shoulders squared and head high, his silky shirt's neckline low and a thick choker around his neck just above where there are two bloody fake wounds from Namjoon's fake fangs.

Minji is also one of them. She approaches Jeongguk with a wide smile, eyelids glittering and there are gems decorating her cheekbones, fake wings on her back. She is wearing a short white dress with white high heels that look wildly uncomfortable.

"Hi," she says, leaning up to kiss Jeongguk's cheek boldly, eyes gleaming as she looks up at him. "You look hot."

Jeongguk tries not to show his distaste at the wet kiss and ignores the compliment. "Hey."

"Oh my god! You must be the girl! I knew you were gonna be pretty. I'm Sooyun, Jeonggukie's sister." Sooyun pushes Jeongguk away to hug Minji, and the latter giggles.

"It's so nice to meet you! I'm Minji," she says, smile widening impossibly.

Taehyung hugs her, too, since he is slightly familiar with her from before. Minji thanks him for setting them up and Jimin's friends just introduce themselves quickly, not seeming very enthusiastic.

"Where is Jimin?" Namjoon asks when he can’t find the blonde where they are all standing by the punch.

"Him and Taemin oppa have been getting ready upstairs forever! They are seriously taking too long," Sooyun complains, eager to see their costumes. Jeongguk is, too.

"Maybe they got distracted," Seokjin says with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows and Jeongguk starts to feel a bit sick. "Should I go get them?"

"Don't think that'll be necessary. Holy fuck," Hoseok laughs in disbelief, and Jeongguk follows his gaze to where Jimin and Taemin are approaching them in the growing crowd.

"What do you think?" Jimin beams as the two of them reach the group, twirling in a way that really does not match his costume.

Taehyung, Seokjin, Sooyun and Hoseok are all up in their space in a second, gaping at the ripped clothes and tattoos and touching the fake piercings.

"What the fuck. You two look crazy!" Seokjin laughs loudly.

"Crazy hot," Sooyun shrieks, still staring with her jaw dropped, pulling at the thick metal ring in the center of Jimin's bottom lip before Jimin slaps the hand away playfully.

"Did you color your hair?!" Yoongi asks, running a hand through Jimin's now pitch black, messy hair.

Jimin is still giggling. "It'll wash out."

"We really had a bad influence on you, huh, tiny?" Taehyung teases, taking one of Jimin's hands and dragging a thumb over a black line, making it smudge slightly and proving that it's fake.

Jimin makes a sound of affirmation and grins, looking over the group and temporarily meeting Jeongguk's eyes before settling on the girl on his arm.

"I don't think we've met," Jimin hums, eyes flickering from the girl to Jeongguk and then back.

Minji smiles. "I'm Minji."

"Jimin. Nice to meet you," Jimin greets, returning the smile. "And this is Taemin."

"Hi." Taemin grins, throwing a fake-tattooed arm around Jimin.

"We need drinks," Jimin announces, dragging Taemin to the punch and filling cups for all of them.

Jeongguk mumbles a thanks as Jimin hands him a cup, meeting his eyes again. The smudged eyeliner and dark eyeshadow around his eyes make him look even more alluring than usual and Jeongguk knows that the heat he feels in his gut is nothing that will go away as long as Jimin looks at him like that.

The sight of Jimin in an oversized T-shirt that is ripped off far too far over his belly button and low waisted, too tight black jeans with rips too big, piercings and tattoos is something Jeongguk thought he would never enjoy. He likes Jimin in his lipgloss, sweaters and blonde, silky hair.

But this... This Jeongguk likes a little too much right now. It's making him speechless and he hates how it so easily turns him on. Nothing turns him on easily. Ever.

And it doesn't help that Jimin seems to be getting into character. He has an almost cocky smile on his lips as he watches Jeongguk watch him. Jeongguk couldn't care less about being caught staring, but those fucking eyes...

It's going to be a long night.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin knows that Jeongguk is watching him. He can feel that one particularly heavy gaze that makes his skin tingle and head spin beyond the effect of alcohol.

It feels amazing. Jimin feels amazing. He has had a handful cups of punch and a couple shots that Taehyung shoved into his hands and he already feels his fingers itching to touch.

Taemin is dancing in front of him, laughing as the two of them play with the hip hop beat, both of them being dancers. Jimin's coordination should be clumsy from the buzz of alcohol, but he just gets a bit more loosened up when he’s tipsy. Perfect for hip hop or any flowy kind of dancing.

Another song comes on and Taemin grabs him by his hips to close the space between them. Jimin happily drapes his arms around Taemin's shoulders, smiling lazily as Taemin leans in to speak in his ear.

"Lover boy is watching," he says, close enough to overpower the strong bass of the song, and grins as he leans back to meet Jimin's eyes.

Jimin returns the smile with a smug one. "I know."

Taemin laughs, delighted. "I see you've gotten more confident about this. Trust me yet?"

Jimin tilts his head, humming with the same smirk. "Maybe."

"You have to by now. He’s killing me with his eyes."

Taemin turns them around subtly so that Jimin can see Jeongguk. The taller boy is keeping his dark eyes on them from where he's leaning on a wall with a drink in his hand and Minji blabbering on by his side.

A shiver runs down Jimin's spine when their eyes meet, neither getting shy nor looking away. The opposite. Jimin watches as Jeongguk runs his tongue over his lower lip and subconsciously mimics the action, feeling the unfamiliar cold metal of his fake piercing.

The tension is like a tightrope between them for a moment and Jimin's heart races when Jeongguk puts his drink down without breaking eye contact, looking about ready to pounce for a split second before he turns away, facing Minji instead.

Jimin breathes out slowly, feeling lightheaded from the silent interaction and looks back to Taemin who is smirking at him.

"Told you. Jealousy always works."

Jimin lets out a breathless laugh, letting go of Taemin and doing a little dance with too many body rolls in a drunken celebration.

"Jimin-ah, Taemin hyung! We're playing a game!"

Jimin looks in the direction of Hoseok's loud voice and Taemin takes his hand, guiding him through the crowd to the couch area where their group of friends are sitting.

"Taemin!"

Taemin halts and turns around and Jimin watches him tip-toe to look over the crowd, eyes widening with glee as he spots the source of the voice.

"Hey, guys!" he calls, letting go of Jimin to hug two girls.

Jimin recognizes Ara from the poem contest. The other girl has long black hair and tattoos all the way up to her jawline.

"What the fuck have you done to yourself?" the unknown girl laughs brightly, a sound that is a stark contrast to her appearance, much like Ara and her are stark contrasts to each other.

"It's a Halloween costume, duh. You were supposed to dress up! Me and Jiminie went all out." Taemin turns and gestures to Jimin who walks closer, smiling at them.

"Hi, Jimin, it's nice to see you again." Ara smiles back.

"You too," Jimin nods, then takes the outstretched hand of the other girl.

"I'm Cho. Ara's girlfriend," she introduces herself, her wide smile unveiling a smiley piercing. Jimin can't help but think of how her style resembles Jeongguk and Sooyun's. She looks cool and really pretty.

"Nice to meet you." Jimin giggles, pulling at the hand he was supposed to shake and hugs her tightly, making her let out a startled sound before chuckling and patting his back.

Jimin hugs Ara too before Hoseok is calling out for them again and they all go to the couches.

"Jimin-ah, come, sit here. We're playing– Oh, more of Taemin hyung's friends? Hi~!" Seokjin smiles widely and Jimin is happy that he is happy, rather than crying—which is often the case when he has had one too many drinks. Only Jimin's, Jeongguk's and Taemin's friends are there to play and Jimin guesses that they did that on purpose to make it more fun.

"Hi, I'm Ara, Taemin's friend," Ara says with a smile.

Cho has a hand around Ara's waist and is about to introduce herself when Taehyung does that for her.

"Cho?! What the fuck?"

Jimin whips his head in his direction when he hears the much less than happy tone, but his eyes are drawn to Jeongguk beside him instead.

For once, it's not the emotionless darkness in his eyes. Now they're wide open, his body tense as he stares at the girl. He almost looks...scared. The expression is gone as fast as it appeared, though, eyes narrowing. Jeongguk rises to his feet and calmly walks to stand right in front of Cho.

Jimin notices that the girl's expression matches Jeongguk's from just a moment ago. Her eyes are wide as she stares at Jeongguk, but there is a sad crease between her eyebrows.

"I–... Jeongguk... It's actually you..." Cho searches for words, now full on frowning, face painted with regret and sadness and Jimin thinks he sees the beginning of tears gleaming in her eyes. She has taken a cautious step forward and almost reaches out for Jeongguk before she quickly retracts the hand.

"What's going on?" Taemin asks, bewildered.

"Is he...?" Ara trails off, taking Cho's hand and squeezing it tightly.

Cho just nods once and Jeongguk's jaw flexes with how hard he is gritting his teeth.

"Get the fuck out."

Cho runs her free hand through her hair in distress before she shakes her head. "Jeongguk, I've been wanting to talk to you since forever...to explain. To apologize."

Taehyung steps in and places a hand on Jeongguk's shoulder protectively, getting in between the two as Jeongguk's anger comes to a peak, looking about ready to put hands on the tattooed girl.

"You should just go. There is nothing you can say, really," Taehyung says to Cho, voice monotone.

Cho hesitates, looking between Taehyung and Jeongguk a few times before taking a step back.

"Okay, I'll leave," her voice is almost a whisper, only heard by the people standing closest.

"No, you should hear her out," Ara stands her ground. "It'll be good for her. For you both."

Jeongguk scoffs, pushing Taehyung's arm away and takes a step of warning toward the tall girl.

"You think I give a shit about what's good for her?" Jeongguk lets out a humorless laugh. He turns back to Cho again and she only looks back with the same guilty frown. "You fucking ruined me, so get the fuck out," he seethes, eyes furious. Cho flinches and a tear runs down her cheek. She wipes it away immediately and nods.

Jimin has never been so lost in his entire life. He just stands and watches the two girls turn around and leave without another word while Jeongguk leaves to the kitchen with Taehyung and Sooyun following close behind.

He wants to go after them. Wants to ask. To know. 

Everyone left on the couches are silent for a solid minute, trying to wrap their heads around what just happened. Seokjin breaks the tense atmosphere.

"Cheers, I guess," he says, chugging down his drink before even cheering with anyone. "It’s not a party without shit going down."

Everyone slowly starts to loosen up again, but the mood for a game has vanished.

Jimin and Taemin sit down for a while to express their confusion about why Jeongguk got so mad and what had happened between him and Cho in the past.

"I can't take any of you seriously when you look like that." Hoseok shakes his head, giving up on trying to listen to Taemin telling them how Cho had always been really nice since he met her through Ara and how he doesn't understand.

"Let's just dance," Jimin decides, not wanting to think about Jeongguk. Thinking about him hurting hurts, and there is nothing he can do about it, either way. Taehyung and Sooyun are on that one.

Taemin agrees instantly, as does Hoseok and Yoongi and they all take two more shots each before entering the mass of people dancing to the deafening music.

⋆˚࿔

By the time Jeongguk is remotely calmed down, he has smoked more cigarettes than he normally does in a full week and gotten his hands on a bottle of tequila which he takes much too large sips of as he walks aimlessly, eventually stumbling inside the house again.

He hasn't been this drunk in so long, he had almost forgotten how nice it is to not feel anything but buzzing in his head and warmth in his veins.

He lost Taehyung and Sooyun after telling them that he's just going for a small walk to get some air. They let him, and he doesn't blame them because he was sober then. Now, not so much.

Minji finds him just a minute after he enters the house again, frowning and asking about what happened, where he was, who that girl was, how much he has been drinking and, fuck, Jeongguk had totally forgotten about her.

"Is she your ex? That's not your type, is it?" Minji continues while moving closer to him with a small pout, snaking her arms around his neck and fingers into his hair. It makes Jeongguk shiver, and not in a good way.

"You're not my fucking type either," he mumbles, pushing her limbs away from him.

He doesn't pay attention to her reaction, too busy moving away from her and in the direction he thinks is the kitchen. He needs a proper drink. 

Actually, he probably doesn't—but he wants one so, whatever.

He's pretty sure he spills half of his half-assed drink when he moves through the grinding bodies to dance, but he couldn't care less. Especially as he recognizes one of the grinding bodies as Jimin and double-especially when he's lazily making out with someone and triple-especially when the someone is Taemin who is Cho's friend and Jeongguk wants him out of his house.

He goes straight to them and taps Taemin's shoulder, gaining his attention. Jeongguk's grip around his drink tightens when he catches Jimin chasing after Taemin when the latter pulls away, then realizes that Jeongguk is there.

"Yes?" Taemin questions with a growing smirk, looking at Jeongguk while still having his hands on Jimin and Jeongguk wants to punch that infuriating smile off his face.

"I don't want you in my house." Jeongguk slurs the words.

"Why is that?" Taemin tilts his head.

"You're the enemy. Out," Jeongguk gestures to somewhere, hoping it's the door because that's where he really wants Taemin to go.

"The enemy? What are you on about, Jeongguk-ssi? You're so wasted," Jimin steps in, looking up at Jeongguk with big eyes. Jeongguk doesn't look at him for more than a figment of a second, though. He knows that if he does he will probably do whatever he says.

"He's friends with Cho. Cho's the enemy. He's the enemy," Jeongguk reasons, gesturing again.

"The Cho I know is a good person," Taemin claims like a fucking idiot.

Jeongguk laughs. "Yeah, sure. And teachers love me. Fairies are real! Whatever. I don't like you."

Taemin looks amused if anything. "That's okay. At least Jiminie likes me. That's all that really matters to me."

Jeongguk clenches his jaw. Taemin must be fucking with him, and it's fucking working.

"This is my party, my house. I decide who's welcome and you're not. Go." Jeongguk glares, clenching his fists harder as Jimin's hands wrap even more securely around Taemin.

"Your party and your house? I live here, too." Jimin pouts and Jeongguk wants to throw them both out, because how hard does this need to be? He looks at Jimin, feeling confident to do so now that the younger boy is pissing him off, too. It sobers him up a fraction.

"You're fucking naive and can't tell a decent person from a drug dealer. You don't get a say in this. I don't want him here and I don't want him near you, so kindly leave." Jeongguk looks back to the silver-haired guy, tired of this conversation already. All he wants is Taemin's hands off of Jimin's waist.

"Stop being rude. Taeminie hyung is nice to me. He's my date, you can't just kick him out," Jimin continues arguing against him and Jeongguk feels like he’s going to explode because he just used the word ‘date’ and Taemin sends him the smuggest fucking look ever.

"Fuck this," Jeongguk grits out, his hazy mind back at the burning anger from before as he pushes past them and toward the kitchen again, downing his drink on the way.

His head spins, both from the intoxication and the rage, and he barely acknowledges the glass shattering in his hand, just shakes the shards off in the sink with a curse.

Meanwhile, Jimin is conflicted.

"I think this is going too far, hyung. He seems pissed and really drunk. That's not a good combo." He starts feeling stressed, sobering up slightly and removing himself from Taemin.

"Yeah, maybe I should go. This has been enough for today. He's definitely jealous, though, and he's getting bolder so I think it's working," Taemin offers, running a hand through Jimin's temporarily black hair.

"I... I don't know what I think about this right now. I'm gonna go check on him," Jimin decides, sighing.

"I really shouldn't come with you. He hates my guts." Taemin chuckles and Jimin cracks a smile. "I can wait if you want?"

Jimin waves a hand in dismissal. "No, it's okay. This'll probably take a while." He sighs again, knowing how badly trying to reason with a wasted and angry Jeongguk will probably go.

"Okay, I think I'll go home. It's late." Taemin envelopes Jimin in a hug. "I'll see you soon. Good luck with him."

Jimin smiles, hugging him back. "Thanks."

Taemin winks at him before making his way to the couches where his other friends are and Jimin moves through the crowd in the direction Jeongguk went.

He feels bad for arguing against him, but Jeongguk was really being an ass. Jimin couldn't just tolerate him throwing Taemin out, angry or not, drunk or not, jealous or not.

He finds Jeongguk in the doorway that leads from the kitchen out in the backyard. The older one has his back to Jimin but he can tell that he's smoking from the glowing near his left hand, hanging by his side.

Jimin walks up to him. "Jeongguk-ssi?"

Jeongguk turns to eye him before halfway turning back around again, his side facing Jimin as he takes a final drag of the cigarette and drops it on the paved ground.

Jimin watches the smoke leave his lips and disappear into the night.

"You'll get lung cancer and die," he states, unable to help himself.

Jeongguk doesn't give a visible reaction, just grumbles. "Don't care."

Jimin pouts and looks down at where the cigarette is still glowing slightly before his eye catches something else.

"You're bleeding," he gasps, moving forward and searching Jeongguk on instinct, taking his right hand that is currently making a mess on the floor.

Jeongguk looks at the hand Jimin is holding and gives a hum of acknowledgement.

Jimin remembers the first aid kit he found in the bathroom and takes hold of Jeongguk's other arm, draping it over his shoulders before wrapping his own arm around Jeongguk's waist, starting to guide him towards the stairs. He doesn't have the mind to enjoy the close proximity as he is busy trying not to fall and worrying about how bad that wound looked.

"What're you doing," Jeongguk mumbles, dragging his feet.

Jimin huffs. "Help me out here."

It's a struggle for the smaller boy to support all of Jeongguk's weight, but somehow he manages to get them safely down the stairs, past the couples making out there, and into the bathroom next to Jeongguk's room.

"Careful," Jimin says softly when Jeongguk stumbles, being led to sit down on the closed toilet.

Jimin wets a cloth with water and opens the cabinet to find the first aid kit. He kneels in front of Jeongguk, taking his wounded hand and winching at the amount of blood.

"It's fine, Jimin. It doesn't hurt," Jeongguk mutters, words slurred.

Jimin looks up at him, eyes narrowed. "That's because you're wasted! You shouldn't be so careless."

"But I am," Jeongguk states, voice monotone but insistent. "You should stay away from me."

Jimin shakes his head, grabbing the cloth to wash away the excess blood and finding that it isn't as bad as it looked. "It's not that deep. This might hurt, though."

He drenches a cotton pad with disinfectant, looking up at Jeongguk as he carefully puts it against the wound. The older scrunches his nose up slightly, hand twitching in a suppressed attempt of pulling it away.

"Why are you helping me? I hurt people... I even manage to hurt myself. You should stay away from me," Jeongguk repeats. He’s looking into his eyes and Jimin wills himself not to get lost in there.

"You've never hurt me," he says. "I'm not scared of you."

Jeongguk just looks at him and Jimin looks down again, cleaning the wound with the pad as thoroughly as he can without hurting the other too much.

"There," Jimin says as he puts on a larger band aid, brushing himself off as he stands up.

Jeongguk looks at his hand for a moment, giving a small smile as he looks up at Jimin. These mood swings will really be the death of him.

"Thanks, Jimin... It's pretty," he murmurs, and Jimin lets out a startled laugh.

"The band aid is pretty?" he asks, amused.

Jeongguk nods, standing up. He wobbles slightly and Jimin reaches out a hand in case he falls.

Jeongguk just looks at it after steadying himself, then takes it into both of his hands.

"Your hands are super small."

Jimin pouts at that, trying to stop his heart from flipping at how softly Jeongguk is caressing his hand, the only roughness being the scratchy material of the bandaid.

"They're not that small..." he mumbles, glancing down at the first aid kit on the floor.

Jeongguk just continues looking, tracing a thumb over the back of his hand. Even their hands are opposites. Jimin's are small and soft and his skin is light and normally unmarked. Jeongguk's are bigger, a bit rougher and tattoos are snaking their way from his fingers and up his arms.

Jimin shivers at the image and the feeling of Jeongguk's skin touching his.

He is about to pull away when Jeongguk lifts it up a little more, turning the palm of Jimin's hand to him and puts his own hand against it.

Jimin blushes at the obvious size-difference.

"Cute," Jeongguk hums, dark eyes moving to catch Jimin's.

Jimin's breath hitches too audibly in the room. He's sure that if his heart starts beating any harder it will be loud enough to be heard, as well.

Jeongguk slowly but surely slips his fingers in-between Jimin's shorter ones and then he is taking two steps forward, making Jimin take steps backward until Jimin’s back makes contact with the bathroom wall.

"Jeongguk, what–...what are you doing?" Jimin breathes out, stumbling over the words. They're too close.

"Nothing," Jeongguk hums, continuing to hold Jimin's gaze with his intense but dazed one.

Jimin can feel the alcohol and smoke on his breath fanning his face, can feel Jeongguk's knee brushing the outside of his thigh, can feel him catch his other hand and intertwine their fingers just like the other one.

"Jeongguk-ssi," Jimin tries again, his voice wavering with adrenaline and his heart about to beat out of his chest. "You're drunk. You should really... You should lay down."

Jeongguk's lips turn up in a small smile. "You're so cute."

Jimin shakes his head, squeezing Jeongguk's hands out of pure reflex because he's scared of what Jeongguk will say next, do next, and what this will lead to in the morning. But it's still Jeongguk that he seeks comfort in. His presence feels safe. His hands holding Jimin's are soothing.

Then Jeongguk's grip loosens suddenly. Jimin tilts his head to the side slightly, confused with the sudden change.

"Sorry. I'm...drunk." Jeongguk steps back from Jimin and drops his hands as if burned by the touch.

Jimin watches with parted lips as Jeongguk walks out, supporting himself on the doorframe before disappearing and then the sound of a door closing is heard.

"What just happened?" Jimin whispers to himself as he tries to wrap his head around the events.

He picks up everything from the floor with shaky hands, putting all the evidence of Jeongguk's injury away before turning off the lights and exiting the bathroom. Jeongguk's bedroom door is closed and Jimin doesn't have the guts to check if he's okay.

Instead, he makes it upstairs where the party is going on like nothing happened. It makes Jimin feel better because, like this,  maybe he can pretend to be as clueless as they are.

He moves through the crowd, looking for his friends, but gets stopped by someone else. A guy, lean with European features, blue eyes and milky skin. Jimin has never seen him before. The stranger drags Jimin into the dancing bodies and gets him to dance with him.

It escalates way too quickly, or just fast enough. Before Jimin knows it, he is pressed down into the mattress of his new bed, moans muffled from behind his arm as the stranger kisses his neck and rolls his hips into him.

It's everything and not at all what Jimin needs at the same time, but at the moment he doesn't care, just craving a distraction.

He's pleased to find that the guy knows when to leave, pressing one last, lazy kiss on his lips before putting his clothes back on and leaving the room to go back downstairs and most probably home.

Jimin just pulls on a pair of clean boxers and a big shirt before crawling back in bed, not feeling any energy left in him to shower now. He feels tired but sated. 

Right now, it doesn't matter that he will be sore in the morning and that Jeongguk probably will avoid him. Right now, he just wants to enjoy the feeling of actually getting some deep sleep, something he hasn't been able to get in weeks, his thoughts too much of a jumbled mess.

Chapter Text

When Jimin wakes up, his mind is even more of a jumbled mess. He groans, sitting up, feeling both a slight hangover and the soreness of his ass.

He rubs his eyes as he limps downstairs, hissing when he makes a movement too fast. It had been way too long since he last slept with someone. The guy from last night was pretty big, on top of that.

He barely takes notice of the passed out people in the hall and living room—on a mission as he enters the kitchen and reaches his hand up for something that doesn't exist.

His hand hovers in the air for a moment before it dawns to him that he isn't at home. Or better yet, he isn't at his old home. He has no idea where there are painkillers in this house.

He glances around the kitchen, contemplating if he should look through every one of the many cupboards or not.

Deciding that, no, he's not putting himself through all that exercise right now, he carefully hoists himself up to sit on the counter. He grimaces at the stab of pain from his bottom and picks up a banana from the fruit bowl next to him.

"This will do for now, I guess," he mumbles to himself, peeling the berry lazily.

He makes a sound of unexpected satisfaction as he takes the first bite, realizing that he's really hungry. Now that he thinks about it, he can't remember eating any dinner the previous day.

"Morning, tiny."

Jimin startles at the deep voice, too busy stuffing his face to pay attention to his surroundings.

Taehyung is walking over to the fridge, opening it and leaning down slightly to view the content.

"Good morning," Jimin greets back, voice muffled by the mouthful of banana, now half-eaten.

Taehyung grabs the milk, looking at Jimin as he puts it down on the counter next to him.

"You want cereal?" he questions, raising one eyebrow.

Jimin shakes his head, waving the banana around. "No thanks."

Taehyung grabs two bowls from a cupboard and the cereal from another. Fruit Loops. So those must be Sooyun’s, then.

"Sooyun is so hungover she could be casted as a zombie for a dystopian movie. A hot one, though." Taehyung chuckles. "You don't seem so tired?" he asks, looking back up at Jimin.

Jimin shakes his head again. "I didn't drink too much... Hey, do you know where I can find aspirin or something?" he asks, noticing how easily Taehyung orientates through the kitchen.

Taehyung shoots him a confused look between pouring cereal into the bowls.

"I thought you said you weren't that hungover," he points out, but nonetheless reaches up to the cabinet behind Jimin's head, pulling out a packet of painkillers.

Jimin gratefully accepts them while trying to come up with something to say that isn't as blatant as ‘I got fucked’.

"Oh, um, I…" Jimin looks up at the ceiling, humming for a moment.

"Hard one?" Taehyung chuckles, and Jimin smiles sheepishly.

"No, just– I tripped! Yeah, while going upstairs to my room last night. You know how clumsy I am," Jimin explains, nodding to himself.

Taehyung looks at him weirdly, but also amusedly. "Yeah... You're probably the clumsiest person I have ever had the pleasure to meet. You're small, though. You're supposed to be smooth and flexible," he teases, pouring milk in the bowls of cereal.

Jimin pouts. "I am flexible, thank you very much. I just have to work on the smooth part."

Taehyung chuckles again, ruffling Jimin's hair as the younger of the two takes another bite of the banana, still sulking. "Don't pout."

"Morning," a new voice says.

Jimin is about to just casually glance up and greet Jeongguk, but instead he is attacked by very defined abs and even more defined pecs and he wants to be left at Jeongguk's mercy when he sees the black ink that mixes so illegally well with the mentioned features. Needless to say, he chokes. Hard.

Taehyung rubs his back with worried eyes as Jimin emits muffled coughs, mouth still partly filled with banana.

There are tears in his eyes as he finally manages to swallow. "W-went down the-the wrong pipe," he wheezes out, looking anywhere but Jeongguk.

Taehyung clicks his tongue. "Be careful, tiny."

Jimin just nods, promptly putting the banana down on the counter next to him. He doesn't dare to put anything else in his mouth until Jeongguk is out of his field of vision.

"Are you having breakfast?" Jeongguk mumbles, voice low and hoarse and Jimin's body goes lax as if Jeongguk asked him to submit and not just a very normal question.

"I'm just bringing this to Sooyun. Jiminie was looking for painkillers 'cause he fell," Taehyung informs and Jimin cringes at how unrealistic he made that sound.

Jeongguk looks at Jimin, who refuses to look anywhere near him. 

"You fell?" 

Jimin fidgets, eyes flickering around the room to land on Jeongguk for a second and then away again, ears burning red.

"I- Yeah..." Jimin breathes out, because he can't go back now. A lie is a lie and he guesses that he'll just have to hope that no one gets caught up on it for too long.

"I'm off, see you guys later. Much later." Taehyung lifts one of the bowls as if saying ‘cheers’ and leaves the kitchen.

Jeongguk grunts in response and opens the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.

"'S that the painkillers?" he rasps, pointing to the packet hidden in Jimin's hands.

Jimin startles. "Oh, yeah, right! Here."

Jeongguk pushes them back to Jimin. "You take one first," he says, giving Jimin the bottle of water, too.

Jimin stares at it for a moment, blinking once before nodding and putting a pill in his mouth. He swallows it with a few gulps of water and is proud of himself when he manages to do it without choking.

Jimin takes advantage of the time Jeongguk is doing the same to shamelessly stare at the expanse of his chest, anxiously biting his bottom lip. He's too hot. Jimin will not survive living here and this will be the cause of his slow and agonizing death.

"Where does it hurt?" Jeongguk asks then, startling Jimin out of his daze.

The younger one blushes when he realizes that he zoned out. "Hm?"

Jeongguk looks at him while taking another gulp of the water and Jimin hates his brain for thinking of it as an indirect kiss.

"You fell. How? Maybe I can do something to help, since you helped me last night." 

"Um... That's okay. You don't owe me anything, it was my decision to help you," Jimin mumbles, trying not to panic when Jeongguk takes another step closer to him. A few more inches and he would bump into Jimin's legs dangling off the counter.

"And you don't think I would make the same choice?" Jeongguk questions. "Anyway, I think I made you uncomfortable last night, too, so I kind of owe you. Where does it hurt?" he repeats, persistently.

"I wasn't uncomfortable," Jimin mutters under his breath, looking up from his fingers and trying not to get stuck on the flower tattoos right next to Jeongguk's pierced nipple. Fuck, his nipples are pierced. Fuck fuck fuck.

Jimin panics inside.

"That's good," Jeongguk murmurs, neither of them going into detail about what really happened and what that means for them. Neither of them wanting to. Neither of them daring to. "Now tell me."

Jimin worries his lip between his teeth, glancing away from Jeongguk. "My, uh, my thigh? Yeah, I bumped my thigh into a step in the stairs when I... When I fell."

Jimin feels content with himself for providing a coherent answer until he realizes that he's sitting on the counter in boxers and a shirt that barely reaches his upper thighs in the position he's in. Stupid.

Because of course Jeongguk automatically moves his gaze to said area. Damn.

"Um, your thighs look fine. I mean– There aren't any bruises or anything." 

Jimin cringes at the situation, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

"Sorry, I didn't– Ugh." Jimin squeezes his eyes shut at the awkwardness, tilting his head back to lean against the wall behind him, cursing in his mind.

"Oh," Jeongguk says silently then.

Jimin opens one eye to peer at him in confusion. "Huh?"

Jeongguk shakes his head, muttering, "Nothing."

He flicks his tongue over his piercing aggressively as he grabs an apple from next to Jimin and turns to walk back to his room.

Jimin stares, lips parted in puzzlement. Jeongguk's mood swings continue doing their thing.

When he slides off the counter he is already feeling better because of the pill. A couple of strangers have woken up because of the sunlight and are heading out as Jimin goes up to his room again.

He lazily picks out a pair of soft shorts and a T-shirt since he will only lounge around the house today, before going down to the basement to shower.

He knows his skin has not only his own dried sweat, but also the European guy's. Not to mention the smudged fake-tattoos. The thought makes him scrunch his nose up in disgust.

Thankfully Jeongguk is locked into his own room and not in the bathroom as Jimin reaches it.

It's not until Jimin has taken half an hour to fully clean himself of any filth that he looks at himself in the full body mirror, frowning as he discovers several hickeys.

Two on his collarbones and another three on his neck.

He presses a finger to the most visible one on his neck, gasping from both the sting and the realization that Jeongguk must have seen it.

Is that why he acted strange before just walking out? Was he weirded out by the thought of Jimin having sex? Or could he really be jealous? Jimin is so lost when it comes to trying to understand what Jeongguk is thinking and feeling.

The events from last night—Jeongguk watching him dance and the way he acted in the bathroom—are prominent memories in his mind. It should be a wake up call for Jimin that it's not only him feeling the pull between them, but it's just so hard.

It's hard to imagine a Jeongguk that actually sees him like that. It's hard to even believe that Jeongguk would notice him in the first place. It's hard to get the reality into his head when he has spent so long just yearning for Jeongguk from a distance.

Now, Jeongguk is everywhere. He's in almost every part of Jimin's life. It happened so quickly, in just a few months, and it's a lot to take in.

Just imagining Jeongguk returning his endless attraction makes his head hurt from overstimulation. There is just no way.

But, at the same time, there is no straight explanation to the way Jeongguk looks at him sometimes, and how he acts so differently toward Jimin most of the time, softer, while being indifferent toward others.

Jimin shakes out his wet hair, the black color mostly washed out from the three rounds of shampoo and his arms back to being spotless after all the scrubbing he did to get rid of everything and anything nasty left from the previous night.

He gets dressed in the clothes he picked and leaves the bathroom, taking a deep breath before approaching Jeongguk's room.

There is silence after he knocks on the door lightly and Jimin almost thinks Jeongguk has gone back to sleep before there is a rustling noise inside. The bed, Jimin guesses.

Then Jeongguk is unlocking the door and looking down at him with unamused, dark eyes. Jimin tries not to acknowledge the fact that he still isn't wearing a fucking shirt.

"What?" Jeongguk leans his side on the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest, and Jimin clamps his lips together so he won't look like a complete fool gaping at the way his muscles bulge.

Jeongguk clears his throat after a few moments of this has gone by and Jimin blinks.

Jimin tries to collect himself while cursing in his head that this continues to happen—Jeongguk making him flustered, that is. He looks back up to Jeongguk's face and sees the previously emotionless expression has turned into one of slight amusement, lips turned up into what looks like a tiny smirk. Jimin almost dies.

"I just... I thought we should continue with the song?" Jimin fidgets, feeling small in the best way with Jeongguk's gaze on him, waiting patiently when Jimin struggles to get the words out at first.

"I don't think my voice is up for that. Not right now, at least."

Jimin mentally facepalms because, right, Jeongguk smoked and drank a lot last night and how could he forget how sexy his voice sounds when it's as raspy and raw as it is right now.

"Right, of course," Jimin nods, "sorry for bothering you."

Jimin turns to leave, not expecting a response but gets one anyway.

"It's okay, wait," Jeongguk stops him and Jimin turns back around, his eyes settling on the way Jeongguk's teeth are playing with his piercing for a moment before he continues. "Maybe later, okay?"

Jimin nods again, about to leave again when Jeongguk unexpectedly speaks again.

"Wanna do something else in the meantime?"

Jimin pauses in time for a sole second before answering with a stunned, "Okay."

Jeongguk cracks the smallest of smiles and Jimin returns it a bit nervously.

"Let's play video games. My brain can only take so much," Jeongguk hums, not bothering to put a shirt on before walking out into the lounge room. He enjoys how distracted it makes Jimin. It makes Jeongguk feel better about looking at Jimin the same way, and the younger boy is very cute when he's flustered.

Jimin breathes out a laugh. "You got way too drunk, Jeongguk-ssi."

Jeongguk smiles solely because Jimin is. “You don’t have to keep calling me that, you know. You can call me hyung.”

Jimin’s eyes widen, his blush returning. “Okay!”

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek hard to keep the fondness at bay.

"Anyway, yeah, I drank a lot, but I needed it in the moment." 

"Because of...Cho?" Jimin hesitantly asks. 

Jeongguk just hums with a nod, not indulging him any further than a, "Yeah, Cho."

Jeongguk doesn't feel like telling Jimin the story of his life right now. It's not something he likes to think about but he guesses he will tell Jimin eventually. After all, it might make it more clear for Jimin why he's an ass most of the time. He's way too hungover for that kind of conversation now, anyway.

He doesn't know what came over him when asking Jimin if they could hang out, but the need to be close to him is something he will never truly understand either. All he knows is that he doesn't regret it.

Besides Jimin being the only truly beautiful guy Jeongguk has seen in his life, he’s also fun to be around. 

Jeongguk has noticed this more and more as days go by. Jimin is funny and easy to have a conversation with when he is comfortable. He kind of just talks about everything and anything and it fits a lot with Jeongguk's quieter tendencies, but also makes him start to break away from that and start to talk, as well.

"No, no, no, that's cheating! Hyung!" Jimin calls out as Jeongguk does something weird and gets his hero much more points than Jimin's.

Jeongguk is grinning with his entire face, continuing to do the same thing and Jimin lets out a growl of war before blindly reaching out to sabotage Jeongguk by grabbing at his controller, trying to push buttons.

"Hey! Who's cheating now?" Jeongguk laughs, lifting his controller in an attempt to get Jimin to release his grip.

"You are! Stop!" Jimin whines, giving up on his sabotaging when realizing that he's messing up just as much for himself.

"I can't just stop being better than you," Jeongguk teases, slumping back on the couch with a grin when he wins the round.

Jimin mimics the action but with a frown, looking at Jeongguk.

"Then teach me and watch me get better than you," he challenges, trying not to be distracted by how cute Jeongguk is when he smiles big like this.

"You think you could beat me?" Jeongguk raises his eyebrows, still smiling.

This time Jimin can't stop himself from getting a little distracted because his eyes flicker down to the finger Jeongguk is pointing at himself and it's right between his pecs and Jimin just wants to touch the inked skin so badly. He gets a hold of himself quickly, though, just looking for a split second before answering.

"I know I can." 

Jeongguk smiles wider.

"Okay then, pro gamer," he teases more and Jimin knocks their shoulders together. "First things first, you have to be able to press the buttons without looking down."

Jimin pouts and Jeongguk chuckles, starting to teach the details that make you a good player.

Jimin's head is exploding with information after just half an hour of this.

"Okay, too much. Stop." He falls back with his eyes closed and an arm dramatically covering his eyes.

Jeongguk smiles softly, a mushy feeling in his chest after being close to Jimin and his cuteness this long. He realizes that there is no running from this. He has already lost whatever fight he put up against letting Jimin affect him.

"Okay, I'll forget about it if you want me to," Jeongguk offers.

Jimin lifts his arm to glare. "No way. You're scared that I'll be able to beat you now after seeing my potential, aren't you? And now you want me to give up," he accuses and Jeongguk just laughs.

"I know you can't beat me. I just figured to have mercy on you for being a slow learner." He shrugs and Jimin gasps.

Jeongguk laughs as he dodges the pillow Jimin tries to hit him with, heart warming when Jimin starts to laugh, too.

"You're so infuriating," he huffs between giggles, trying hard to stay mad.

Jeongguk dodges another pillow-hit and makes Jimin release his grip on it, putting it on his end of the couch. Jimin has such a pretty smile on his face when he looks back and it knocks Jeongguk's breath right out of his lungs. Fuck, how is someone this beautiful? It's not fair. The urge to grab him and just press their lips together is so fucking strong like this.

He wanted to last night as well, when he had Jimin pressed against the bathroom wall. Jimin's cheeks turned such a pretty shade of pink and his eyes flickered around, struggling to hold his gaze. He looked beautiful with his hands in Jeongguk's and a blush that Jeongguk had induced on his cheeks, pinned to the wall but not enough that he couldn't get away if he wanted to.

The fact that Jimin didn’t pull away made Jeongguk's intoxicated brain form multiple conclusions and ideas that it shouldn't have.

"I'll show you." Jimin nods, seeming determined that he can beat Jeongguk sometime. Jeongguk admires his confidence. "But right now I need a break. A long break. I've played enough for a week."

Jeongguk snorts. "This is nothing. I played far more than this every day for months at some point."

Jimin huffs. He groans as he stands up, probably feeling sore from sitting for so long.

"Well, you're not human, so," Jimin mumbles, stretching his arms over his head.

Jeongguk fails at not looking and curses in his mind yet again at how pretty Jimin is. His body is perfect and it's not making Jeongguk any less attracted. Quite the opposite.

"What am I, then?" he questions when he isn't as distracted by Jimin's shirt riding up his back anymore.

Jimin shrugs. "I just don't understand how people can sit still or concentrate for that long."

Jeongguk stands up, too. "Workout-breaks are a lifesaver."

Jimin hums. He can tell from Jeongguk's still very naked upper body.

The two of them walk upstairs to find Sooyun and Taehyung in the kitchen making burgers. Jimin chuckles as Jeongguk points out the fact that they have eaten nothing but junk food so far during this autumn break.

Jimin feels right at home because even though everyone is a year older, they don't act like it. Jeongguk is easier to talk to, Sooyun is starting to feel like a really good friend and Taehyung makes him laugh more than anyone.

Sooyun comes up to his room that night, crawling into his bed, and Jimin easily cuddles her. They talk about Sooyun's day at work with a hangover for a while before they come onto the topic of last night.

"Jeongguk got wasted, didn't he?" Sooyun asks when Jimin mentions that Taemin went home because he had to help Jeongguk when he got hurt. Not the whole truth, but kind of.

Jimin nods, chuckling mildly. "Really damn wasted."

Sooyun breathes out a sigh. "I knew he would after Cho showed up out of the blue. I think that's why he got extra pissed, because he didn't know she was going to be there. He hates not being in control."

Jimin hums in thought, staring up at the ceiling through the dark, head right next to Sooyun’s who is doing the same while cuddling.

"Do you think he'll ever tell me about her?"

Sooyun smacks her lips softly. "Can't be sure. Depends on if he feels the need to make you understand him."

Jimin furrows his eyebrows, turning his head slightly to look at Sooyun.

"What do you mean, understand him?"

"You know, why he is the way he is. He had a rough time a few years ago. He still has, I guess. I believe that he'll get out of it, though. He just needs a push by the right person," she smiles softly, leaning her head closer to Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin thinks over the words. He still doesn't understand, but he guesses that he'll have to be patient.

"I've noticed that he's opening up to you surprisingly quickly. It might not seem like it for you, but he has a hard time just letting people talk to him, let alone see his room or ask him questions. I think he's trying to let you in. Please, don't give up on him, okay?" Sooyun requests in a soft, quiet tone, obviously emotional about this.

Jimin nods. "I won't. I promise. He's really nice and funny when he's comfortable. I think we can be great friends."

Jimin only feels slightly bad for being attracted to Jeongguk in many more ways than that. Right now he only wants Jeongguk to trust him.

"I think so, too. He's amazing. It's such a shame that he's so guarded after what happened. If not, he would have made hundreds of friends by now and be so much happier," Sooyun says with a sad smile.

Jimin just hums, still not understanding completely. He hugs Sooyun a little tighter and she falls asleep after a few minutes of silence.

Jimin feels his chest clench at the sight of her small frown, hating that this is bothering her and probably has for years.

Jimin wishes he could be of any help, but doubts that he can do more now than just being here and letting Jeongguk open up to him. He doesn't want to think too much about what happens after that, because it might never happen, but he hopes that he can try to show Jeongguk that trusting isn't scary.

For now he'll just try to control his heart and get out of the mess he created when trying to make Jeongguk jealous.

It might have worked and Jimin might be tempted, but that isn't the right way to do it. Jimin doesn't want a jealousy-induced hookup. He wants connection.

Judging from what he has learned about the older boy this week, Jeongguk needs something deeper, too. Jimin will be heartbroken if it's not with him and, with their odds, it most probably won't be. 

But he can at least be happy for Jeongguk as long as he gets better.

As long as Jeongguk can feel safe again and Sooyun won't fall asleep with a frown on her face, Jimin will be okay.

⋆˚࿔

"How did you feel when you realized?"

Jeongguk shrugs.

"I dunno."

"Jeongguk," the older woman looks at him with both calmness and intensity and somehow it always makes him feel comfortable, "we've been over this. Try to express what you felt."

Jeongguk glances down at the table between them, playing with the piercing in his lip as he zones out for a minute.

"Like I'm...useless. The fact that I wasn't even good as a toy for her made me feel useless. I thought that I had real feelings for her. For the first time, I felt like I could do it right."

"Do what right?"

"Feel something more for someone?"

Jeongguk watches as she writes in her notepad.

"What did you feel when you were together with her?"

Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"When you say 'feel something more'... What did that feel like?"

"I..." Jeongguk tries to make out the difference, finding it very hard now after everything that happened. "She understood how it was to have a fucked up childhood. I felt understood."

"Did you feel happy when you were with her?"

Jeongguk huffs out an annoyed breath, anger and defensiveness bubbling up inside him."Why the fuck are you asking so many questions about what I felt? She obviously didn't feel anything for me. I want to forget it, not reminisce about the memories."

The woman just looks at him the same as always as Jeongguk glares at her.

"I think that you need to remember it in order to understand what your spiritual fight is about," she explains calmly, not once breaking eye contact. "You're not sick, Jeongguk-ah. This isn't something that medicine can fix. Only you can."

Jeongguk doesn't show how much that means to him. He clenches his jaw and fights the urge to cry.

"You don't think I'm sick?"

"Not at all. Just...don't fight your heart. Let it steer the way. I’m sure you’ll find your answers then."

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk wakes up with his heart racing in his chest. He hasn't dreamed about those days in months.

He used to dream about the other psychologists and doctors who showed him options of how to cure him. Nightmares.

This is the first time his subconscious reminds him of the one psychologist he told almost everything to. The one who believed that there was nothing wrong with him.

Jeongguk stays unmoving in bed, repeating the advice she gave him in his head.

The only thing he can feel his heart wants right now is Jimin. It can't be a coincidence.

He remembers lashing out like that because he never really did feel happy with Cho. He just thought that was how it was supposed to be. She made him think that was how it was supposed to be, before telling him that he didn't love her enough.

Fuck, if he was broken before—that shattered the pieces left of him.

He still feels guilty for all the people that got involved with him at that stage of his life. He hurt so many and didn't slow down until meeting that one psychologist.

She helped stop him from going out to get high and trash things or fuck girls he had never met before, but what was left of him behind that wasn't much. A traumatized boy with no faith in the human race. No faith in himself.

It might be hard to believe, but his condition today is excellent compared to back then. Only Hyunwoo, Sooyun and Taehyung fully understand that.

He wanted to get better for them, seeing how he had scared them, and he still does.

Sometimes he wants to get better for himself, too. He wants to be social and let himself care. He wants to let go of the fear of being hurt and have fun instead.

That's why he wants to trust that psychologist. He wants it to be true, and if following his heart could be the only way, maybe he's willing to try to get closer to Jimin. More than willing. He has craved to be close to him since the first week he noticed him, deep down.

Today is Sunday, the last day of autumn break.

The Parks have been fitting right in the last few days and their old house was sold yesterday. Jimin and Jeongguk have been practicing their cover a lot and Jeongguk can tell that Jimin is fully comfortable with him by now—except when he suddenly gets flustered sometimes, but Jeongguk isn't bothered by that since it's so cute.

There are moments where there is tension between them. They can be laughing one moment and then looking at each other the next, letting their eyes do the talking in a language Jeongguk can't understand. It's not scary to him anymore, though. It's intriguing and he wants to learn every word.

Jeongguk gets out of bed and throws on sweats and a T-shirt before venturing upstairs, finding everyone except Sooyun there, eating breakfast.

"Morning, Gguk-ah," his father greets him with a smile.

"Morning," he mumbles back, tiredly stretching his neck and running a hand through his messy hair as he sits down at the table.

"You look like you slept harder today than Sooyun usually does." Areum chuckles after looking up from her newspaper.

Jeongguk yawns and Jimin laughs. "You really do."

Jeongguk gives a small smile. "I dreamt a hundred dreams."

"That's a lot," Hyunwoo hums, amused.

"Mm." Jeongguk grabs the Coco Pops and Jimin smiles wider from next to him.

Jeongguk gives a confused look mixed with a smile because Jimin is adorable in the mornings. Even softer than usual.

The blonde just shakes his head in dismissal, continuing to eat his oatmeal as Hyunwoo starts talking about a boat he is planning on renting to go fishing next weekend. Sooyun joins after some time, her hair a blue mess on her head and eyelids drooping.

"Have you enjoyed the break? Slept enough for the rest of the semester?" Areum smiles playfully after they have eaten.

"There is no such thing as enough sleep," Sooyun deadpans.

Areum laughs. "Sorry, Sooyun-ah. I forget that you're a working adult," she teases.

Sooyun makes a childish grimace and Areum gestures toward her as if to say ‘my point exactly’. Sooyun just laughs.

"I have, at least," Jeongguk says, fiddling with his lighter under the table as he scoops up another spoon of cereal.

"Me too." Jimin nods. "I wanna get the semester over with."

Areum clicks her tongue in disapproval. "What have I told you? You have to enjoy this time in your life while you still can, hun."

"I am! It just wouldn't hurt if I could enjoy it while it went a little faster." He smiles sweetly and Jeongguk snorts while Sooyun claps in amusement.

Areum just rolls her eyes playfully, ruffling Jimin's hair.

Jeongguk envies people like Jimin who has had a mother like Areum throughout his life. One who is supportive, protective, caring and affectionate.

Sure, Hyunwoo isn't unsupportive but…he has never told Jeongguk to stop smoking or been persistent enough to know what's bothering him when he's closed off. Jeongguk would probably not listen to him anyway, but it still wouldn't hurt if his father would show that he cares about his future and that he wants to know him.

You can easily tell that Areum has raised Jimin. They are similar in many ways, but also different.

While Areum shows that she cares about him with words, Jimin returns it with hugs and kisses on her cheeks. They have the same soft aura, but Areum is more independent while Jimin craves people around him.

"When do you feel like finishing the cover, hyung?" Jimin asks as they do the dishes. Sunday is Jeongguk's day to do them but Jimin offered to help.

"Right now?" Jeongguk suggests. "Tae and I are going out later."

Jimin nods. "That works for me."

Jeongguk watches with a fond smile as Jimin dries the plates carefully, tongue peeking out and everything, before snapping out of it and picking up a towel to do the same.

"Hyung... I've been wanting to ask..." Jimin says suddenly after some silence and Jeongguk feels a surge of nerves rushing through him at the way Jimin trails off unsurely.

"Yeah?"

Jimin nibbles on his lower lip for a moment and Jeongguk can't even force himself not to watch because it looks so soft and he's incredibly jealous of Jimin for getting to do that whenever he wants to.

"What you said that night about not wanting Taemin hyung to come here, did you mean that?" he asks eventually, glancing to see Jeongguk's reaction through his lashes.

Jeongguk doesn't know what to say, speechless for a moment. He's slightly ashamed that he actually interrupted them and tried to throw Taemin out, but then again, he dislikes the guy with a passion so he can't blame his drunk self too much.

"I was really drunk. You live here and he's your...friend, boyfriend, whatever. I don't have any right to decide whether or not he comes over. Sorry about that," Jeongguk says, hating that the memory of them kissing is now playing in his mind. Hating that it makes him feel like shit because his heart is set on that Jimin should be with him instead. It really shouldn't. Being friends is fine. Anything more than that is out of the picture.

Jimin is frowning slightly. "But you live here, too. If you feel uncomfortable with him here I can just meet him somewhere else," he assures.

Jeongguk bites his tongue, wanting to say that, yes, please meet him somewhere else so I don't have to know. But he can't bring himself to do that. Can’t bring himself to be selfish at Jimin’s expense.

"No, really, it's okay. I was just drunk and shocked by seeing Cho and he reminded me of her so I said things I didn't mean."

Jimin nods slowly, giving a small smile that Jeongguk forces himself to return. "Okay, then... Glad we cleared that up."

Jeongguk gives a hum in agreement, putting the last plate in the cupboard.

They spend the morning practicing the song in the basement and Jeongguk tries not to think of the fading hickeys on Jimin's neck while he sings his verse.

The things he would do to cover them up with his own.

"How are things going with...Minji? Was that her name?" Jimin wonders when they eventually take a break.

Jeongguk stops playing around on the guitar to look at Jimin, nothing but curiosity looking back at him. It's probably a normal question to ask between friends, he guesses. Jeongguk wouldn't know.

"I dunno," he says, and it's the truth because he has yet again forgotten about the girl he was...is ? seeing. He remembers rejecting her at the party and she hasn't messaged him since so he guesses that that's over. "I think I might have screwed that up," he adds.

"Oh... I'm sorry."

Jeongguk breathes out a laugh. "No big deal or anything. You don't have to be sorry."

"You're not sad?" Jimin asks and, again, Jeongguk only finds curiosity in his eyes.

"No," Jeongguk shrugs, "I've never been good at that stuff."

Jimin makes a noise in disagreement. "I'm sure that's not true. You just haven't found the one!" He smiles, encouraging.

Jeongguk smiles fondly, feeling the soft spot in him growing because Jimin is so sweet and it's not fair. Jeongguk doesn't deserve to be even his friend.

"You have?" Jeongguk questions instead, because Jimin seems to know what he's talking about.

Jimin pauses, glancing down.

"Sorry if that’s a weird question. I'm not good at this either." Jeongguk sighs.

"No, it's okay." Jimin smiles slightly. "I... I think I have. But I don't think I will ever find out if I'm right."

Jeongguk furrows his eyebrows. "Why?"

Jimin waves it off. "Bad odds."

Jeongguk hums in acknowledgment.

"Let's do it again?" Jimin suggests and Jeongguk starts playing and singing the intro without hesitation.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin is so in love, it's insane. It doesn't help that Jeongguk looks really cute right now with fluffy bedhead and baggy clothes.

"It's perfect now. Mrs. Yong is gonna flip." Jimin giggles as the last verse ends.

"Yeah... Why didn't you major in music? Or at least, like, performing arts? Areum said that you dance, too," Jeongguk wonders, genuinely confused.

Jimin blushes slightly, both hating and loving when Jeongguk compliments him in a lowkey way like this.

"I just heard bad stuff about it. Pursuing a career within the arts is near impossible," Jimin shrugs, "and I don't know what I want to do with my life yet, so I didn't wanna take the risk."

"I get that." Jeongguk nods, putting the guitar down next to him.

"What do you wanna do after graduating?" Jimin asks, excited that he's finally having the opportunity to get to know Jeongguk.

"I wanna work in crime. Not really sure exactly how, but that much I know," the older boy says sheepishly and Jimin's eyes widen slightly.

"Wah, that's really unexpected, actually." He blinks, trying not to imagine Jeongguk in a uniform. That’s dangerous.

Jeongguk chuckles slightly. "Why, 'cause I break rules?"

Jimin smiles sheepishly. "Well, yeah. Just didn't expect it."

"Not many would, I guess. It's just something I've always wanted. The way I act has nothing to do with it, really. The tattoos and piercings are something I've chosen and enjoy, but the lawbreaking is more like a bad habit," Jeongguk explains. Jimin feels warm, realizing that this is Jeongguk opening up.

"That's...an amazing dream, Jeongguk hyung. I hope you'll get there someday." Jimin smiles and Jeongguk hums.

"Me too." 

And there is another one of the intense pauses where the two of them just look into each other's eyes, not knowing why it's so hard to look away.

Jeongguk looks away eventually, clearing his throat. "I gotta...go to Tae's."

Jimin nods, playing with his fingers in his lap as Jeongguk stands up and leaves the room.

Jimin just sits there for a few minutes, a small smile on his face. Despite the slight awkwardness, he and Jeongguk are slowly becoming friends.

It's not the only thing he wants from Jeongguk—his heart is always bursting with attraction and love—but it's something. He gets to be closer to Jeongguk than most, and that is a huge win for him.

⋆˚࿔

"Jimin-ah!" Sooyun bursts into Jimin's room later that day, a determined expression on her face. "It's time."

Jimin looks up from his homework, startled. "Time for what?"

Sooyun snatches his hand away from the notebook and pulls him out of his bed, "We're doing your hair. Right now. I'm in need of some mind blowing change, my fingers are itching," she announces loudly, dragging Jimin down the stairs. 

"But I'm in my pajamas," Jimin laughs out.

Sooyun observes the younger boy's soft shorts and slightly cropped, oversized T-shirt and grabs him by his shoulders, her face so close that their noses touch. Jimin goes cross-eyed to look into her darkly lined eyes. 

"You. Look. Fierce. Now let's go," she demands, barely letting Jimin put his shoes on before they are in her bright orange car, speeding down the street to her workplace.

"Minjung unnie, behold Park Jimin. I'm going to make him look like a front page model. Can I occupy this chair? Actually, that wasn't a question. Cancel any appointments that I get in the way of. Tell them we have a louse infestation or something," Sooyun orders while sitting Jimin down in said seat.

The other girl, who is working on a terrified-looking older lady, saunters over to stand beside Sooyun and looks at Jimin through the mirror. She has pitch black hair in a shaggy mullet with bright green strands peeking out at the bottom, matching her bold eye-makeup.

"He already looks like a front page model, Yun-ah. What are you gonna do? Pink?" she asks and Jimin squirms slightly as she observes him, flushing.

Sooyun is already in another corner of the salon, looking through countless bottles in all different shades of pink.

"Yes. Now kindly move out of my way, unnie. I am going to practice some magic," Sooyun says as she sets some bottles down on a table beside Jimin and starts looking over his hair.

The next couple of hours are filled with the smell of hair products and the three of them discussing boys, mostly. Minjung is as shocked to hear about Jimin's exes as Sooyun was.

"It's unfair to use someone as an experiment just because you're unsure of your sexuality. At least when you give the other person false hope," Minjung huffs, popping her gum loudly. "If I was a man questioning my sexuality I would just go to a gayclub and say 'hey, I think I like dick, can you help me' and then just fuck someone. 'S not that damn hard."

Jimin glances at the man Minjung is currently cutting a fade on and cringes when seeing that his eyes are wide and he’s visibly fighting the urge to lower his head in favor of his haircut.

"Exactly! No need to hurt anyone's feelings when you can do it in a perfectly safe and easy way," Sooyun agrees, leaning in close to Jimin to line his eyes. She got restless while waiting for the pink dye to set and got Jimin to agree on letting her do his makeup as well.

"Then again, maybe it was just Jimin they were attracted to and not guys in general. What do you think, Jimin-ah?" Sooyun continues.

Jimin shrugs. "I didn't exactly stay in touch with them after. I just know that it was their first time being attracted to another guy. They probably found others after."

Minjung makes a sound of amusement. "Or maybe they were just Jimin-sexual. If you were into girls I know I would definitely shoot my shot. Like, damn."

Jimin laughs at that, looking at himself in the mirror. He looks crazy with half of his makeup done and a plastic cap on his head.

"If they were, I'll hopefully never find out about it. I'm done with guys like that. Mostly."

"Mostly?" Sooyun squints her eyes at him. "What do you mean you're mostly done? I thought we said never again."

Jimin smiles sheepishly. "Can't control it. Old habits die hard."

Sooyun clicks her tongue. "What about Taemin oppa? I thought that was gonna be something good," she almost whines, flipping blue strands of hair out of her eyes.

"Taeminie hyung is just a friend." 

"And friends can sometimes, you know…become more than that, yeah? I saw you kissing at the party." Sooyun nudges him with a teasing smile while Minjung 'ooo's.

Jimin breathes out a chuckle. "I've kissed all of my friends at some point when I’ve been drunk. It just happens. Anyway, I slept with some other dude that night."

Sooyun gasps loudly, slapping Jimin's arm. "Why didn't I know this?! You're supposed to gossip with me!"

Jimin shrugs. "It didn't mean anything."

"Still…" Sooyun pouts a little. "Was he good?"

Jimin clicks his tongue at the bluntness, even though his other friends had asked the exact same thing when he told them the day after the party.

"He was good, yeah. Nothing special about it but I still kinda liked him," Jimin briefly informs.

"Sounds like you need more action, Jimin-ah,” Minjung comments. ”I didn't know what sex could be like before my ex. She'll forever be missed. Have you ever had someone make you feel like you're on fire and floating in water at the same time?" she asks. The man in front of her stopped meeting any of their eyes a long while ago.

Jimin breathes out a laugh, making Sooyun scold him since she’s trying to apply liner on his lips. "No, I haven't. Is it nice?"

"It's the shit. The only con is that you get addicted and miss it too much when they're gone." Minjung sighs, blowing a bubble with her gum until it pops.

"You'll find someone better," Sooyun assures.

Minjung chuckles. "If I find someone better I'm never letting them go, believe me."

Jimin hums, fiddling with the sheet Sooyun put over him to prevent hair or dye getting on his clothes.

"Okay, I can't wait any longer. Let's wash this out," Sooyun declares, putting down the lipgloss Jimin lent her.

Jimin lets her do her thing, closing his eyes at her order as she guides him back to the mirror to blow his hair dry.

"How is he sexier?" Minjung questions in disbelief from behind him.

"Told you. Magic," Sooyun states, making finishing touches.

"Okay, open."

Jimin does, and for a second he almost doesn't recognize that it's him looking back through the mirror.

"I can sleep peacefully after this," Sooyun sighs, sitting down on the hairdresser-chair with a satisfied expression.

Jimin continues gaping. "Wow. I love it, noona… Thank you so much."

"The color is perfect. Nice work, Yun-ah. The side part makes him look fiercer, too," Minjun approves, having watched the last part after finishing her last customer of the day.

"Right? He's a gentle person but also confident so I feel like he needed that edge with this color. Fuck, I'm too good. He looks like someone who says no to front pages because too many are asking," Sooyun worships her own work shamelessly, running her hands through Jimin's hair to show how flexible it is.

Jimin lifts a hand to run it through the dark pink strands, almost gasping when he realizes that he really did it. He has pink hair and it looks better than in his fantasies.

He stands up and hugs Sooyun, squeezing her tightly and burying his face in her neck.

The older girl laughs, running her palms over his back. "Are you crying, Jiminie?"

Jimin just shakes his head and sniffles simultaneously, giving mixed signals, and Sooyun pulls back to look into his glossy eyes.

"What's wrong?" she questions with an amused smile. "Don't you dare ruin my makeup."

Jimin looks up to the ceiling, willing the tears away. "I just... I've been afraid of doing this for years and now I feel like I can do anything. I'm really happy."

Minjung chuckles while Sooyun clicks her tongue in a fond way. "Of course you can! You're a badass and a sweetheart all in one. Anyone who judges you is stupid, okay? Now, let's go home and drink wine. We need to celebrate."

Jimin laughs. "Okay, let's go home and drink wine," he agrees, not hesitating to refer to it as that, because this feeling is home.

"I’m invited, right? I'd like to say I was a part of this transformation," Minjung says with slight offense.

"Of course you are." Jimin giggles, taking the older girl's hand and dragging her to the door.

One glass of wine turns to three before Jimin knows it. He blames Sooyun for topping up his glass all the time.

"Seriously, no more. I'm tipsy already," Jimin whines as Sooyun grabs the bottle to refill their glasses again.

"Don't be like that, Jiminie! We're celebrating your new look. A hangover on the first day of school after a break is a must," Sooyun claims.

Jimin pouts, watching the liquid slosh around his glass.

"So, Taemin oppa is friend-zoned? That's seriously such a shame. You're so cute together," Sooyun implores, tipsy as well.

Jimin giggles a little. "You could say he's not really my type."

Minjung makes a sound of interest, perking up. "You have a type? Do tell."

Jimin bites down on his lip, smiling as he shrugs.

"Taemin is just a little too...nice? Well, not exactly too nice but, like, there is no excitement, you know? Does that make sense?"

Sooyun nods enthusiastically while Minjung leans back on the couch.

"Dude, that definitely makes sense. Excitement is the most important part of attraction. Like, if there is no rush, where's the fun? I totally get you," Minjung agrees, gesturing with the hand holding her wine glass, making it almost spill on the couch she and Jimin are sitting on.

"Right? That's why I thought a relationship with someone closeted would be fine. The sneaking around was exciting for a while. Now I know that I need a lasting, substantial excitement that won't become a burden a month later. It's really hard to find, though," Jimin explains.

He hasn't met anyone that excites him by just being—except Jeongguk.

"Damn right it is. I haven't felt attracted enough to even kiss anyone in months. That's just sad," Minjung scoffs, shaking her head.

Jimin hums, smiling dopily. "Wanna make out?"

Minjung looks at him for a second, blinking once before shrugging. "'M not gonna pass up on that."

Sooyun is cackling as Jimin straddles the girl, looking into her eyes for a teasing moment before leaning in to connect their lips.

"Okay, I'll just pretend not to exist while filming this," Sooyun announces between quiet evil laughter.

Jimin giggles into the older girl's lips before going in deeper. Minjung responds expertly to him as they make out, tongue getting involved along the way.

"Should I tell Tae to go home or...?"

Jimin jumps at the sound of his crush, pulling back to find the older boy standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face.

Sooyun laughs more. "Not what it looks like. Gimme my boyfriend back."

Jeongguk looks from Sooyun to Jimin, meeting his eyes for a moment before looking at Minjung.

"Hey, noona," he greets her halfheartedly.

Minjung salutes with a laugh before Jeongguk leaves to get Taehyung.

"That was hot. Imma send you the video." Sooyun chuckles. "Jeongguk's face when he came in was priceless."

Jimin laughs breathlessly, slightly confused. What just happened? He definitely drank too much wine.

"Among the top three best kisses in my life and you have to be into guys. Why is my life tragic?"

Minjung taps Jimin's thigh and the pink haired boy slides off her lap with a bashful smile.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed now," he hums, pressing his lips together, a mix of his own and Minjung's lipgloss there.

"Me too," Minjung groans, squeezing her eyes shut before slapping herself lightly to try to sober up.

The oldest of them heads home after exchanging goodbyes and making Sooyun promise to bring Jimin over to the salon again sometime soon.

Jimin makes it down to the bathroom without falling on his face, his head spinning.

He sits on the counter next to the sink and starts brushing his teeth with lazy movements.

When he is in the middle of trying to get his makeup off with a cotton pad, Jeongguk walks into the bathroom, not acknowledging Jimin any further than a low, “Hey,” before he starts brushing his teeth.

Jimin glances the opposite direction, afraid that he won't be able to stop staring if he lets himself have the luxury of glancing over at Jeongguk's bare torso.

"I thought you were into guys," Jeongguk states after a while.

Jimin startles, was lost in his loopy thoughts for a while, and his head snaps up to see that Jeongguk has finished brushing his teeth and is now leaning a hip on the counter, looking right at Jimin with crossed arms. The younger one can't determine what emotion is swimming in his eyes, but it's definitely not a positive one.

Nonetheless, heat spreads through his body just from having Jeongguk's attention, Especially when he looks like this, biceps bulging and veins running along the forearms crossed just under his bare chest.

"I...definitely am," Jimin states, caging his bottom lip between his teeth as he tries to hold Jeongguk's gaze and not let his eyes travel lower.

Jeongguk's eyebrows furrow and Jimin can tell that he's confused now.

"Then why would you wanna kiss Minjung noona?"

Jimin slowly releases his lip, watching Jeongguk's eyes flicker down for a moment. It sends sparks of excitement through Jimin.

"I've had too much wine, duh." He giggles a little. "She said that she hadn't found anyone hot enough to kiss in months so I volunteered because she thought I was attractive. Kissing is fun, with both guys and girls. Just more or less, depending," he rambles slightly, a small smile on his face.

Jeongguk just looks at him for a moment, probably processing the slightly suggestive tone in Jimin's voice. 

Perhaps Jimin is too tipsy for this. He’s not really in control and he’s feeling flirty after today. He feels good in his new hair and Minjung was a good kisser.

"Depending on what?" Jeongguk questions slowly, pushing off the counter and taking a few steps closer.

Jimin hums, trying not to be fazed with their proximity.

"Depending on a lot," he begins, gazing at Jeongguk with lowered eyelids. "Mostly the amount of attraction..." he trails off, heartbeat picking up when Jeongguk inches closer with every word. "Then there is compatibility and experience, of course."

Jeongguk hums in acknowledgment, so close that his hip is brushing one of Jimin's knees, the contact sending electricity through Jimin’s body.

Jeongguk nods for Jimin to continue and the younger one licks his lips nervously, the buzz of alcohol fading slightly and nerves quickly taking its place.

"Well...the amount of tension..." Jimin continues, voice breathy and he feels his ears burning, embarrassed when his thighs part easily as Jeongguk graces just a fingertip over one of his knees.

Jeongguk doesn't break eye contact once. "'That all?"

Jimin's breathing picks up, his thighs touching Jeongguk's slim waist faintly, the warmth adding to the heat under his skin.

"How and where they touch," Jimin whispers, not trusting his voice. Jeongguk is so close. Too close.

The taller boy is playing a daring game, running his fingers along Jimin's thigh—light like feathers but it leaves fire on his skin.

"Hyung," Jimin breathes out, trying to understand Jeongguk, "are you drunk...?"

A small, lopsided smile forms on Jeongguk's face.

"Just a little," he hums, his hand now fully resting on Jimin's knee.

Jimin's eyes flicker from his hand to Jeongguk's eyes and he nods.

"What did you and Tae hyung do?" he questions, trying to direct the conversation to something safer. The tension between them is already too much.

"Just a small party on the beach. It was cold as fuck," Jeongguk replies. Jimin wonders if he is aware of the hand traveling over his skin.

"You didn't go in the water, did you?"

Jeongguk clicks his tongue. "Of course I didn't."

Jimin bites down harshly on his lower lip as Jeongguk's thumb graces his inner thigh, breathing fast through his nose. He knows that the effect Jeongguk's ministrations has on him is physically showing by now and he can only hope that Jeongguk won't notice.

"I-I need to shower, hyung. Can we talk more tomorrow?" Jimin tries, looking away from the larger, tattooed hand on his thigh and into Jeongguk's eyes.

“Sure.” Jeongguk gives a small smile before casually walking out of the room.

Jimin takes a deep breath, in disbelief of how casual Jeongguk was with all of that. Bold and shameless, or just oblivious.

Jimin hops off the counter and locks the door. He turns on the water and strips out of his pajama shorts and crop top. He takes his shower and if he gets himself off with Jeongguk's name on the tip of his tongue–

Nobody has to know.

Chapter Text

Something changed between him and Jeongguk after that Sunday night. Jimin feels it the next day.

The older boy isn't as cautious with him anymore when they meet up to record the song during lunch. It makes Jimin both happy and anxious all at the same time.

"Hi, hyung," Jimin greets Jeongguk when he finds him by the performing arts building, heart fluttering when Jeongguk turns and a small smile forms on his face.

"Hey," he says, walking with Jimin toward the studio, glancing at him. "Did I tell you how nicely the color came out? It really suits you."

Jimin almost faints from the amount of dopamine his brain secretes. The world spins for a euphoric second.

"I– Uh… Thank you," he manages to get out, ears burning.

Jeongguk hums, looking straight ahead again and Jimin watches him nibble on his piercing for a second, sighing softly. 

"Ready to do this?" Jimin asks, and ignores a group of people sending him dirty looks. 

He has gotten them the whole day, people silently judging him. It's like the first months of school all over again just because he changed his hair color.

"Yeah."

Jeongguk opens the door to the studio, turning on the light.

They find a computer, a couple of microphones and an audio mixer.

"Do you know how to use any of this?" Jeongguk questions, poking one of the mics.

Jimin shrugs. "Not really, but it can't be that hard, right?"

Jeongguk chuckles, turning on the computer. "Right."

The beginning of the process is a disaster but also filled with laughter.

By the time Jimin has half-way tripped over the same chord more than thrice and Jeongguk has managed to find around five incorrect programs in the computer, they finally have the situation under control and can try to record.

They begin with the guitar. Jeongguk plays it perfectly as usual while Jimin watches with heart eyes—also as usual.

They sing the verses and harmonies while watching each other closely to stay in sync. There is the usual tension between them—which has now evolved into something similar to chemistry—and it only makes them sound better.

They don't even need to do retakes, both silently knowing that the raw emotion of singing it in one take is enchanting.

"Are you happy with it, too?" Jimin asks after listening to the whole recording, heart mushy after hearing how good they sound together.

"Yeah, it's perfect." Jeongguk nods, fiddling with his lighter. "I think we missed lunch. You wanna skip and go eat something?"

Jimin blinks at him. Never has he ever skipped class for a reason like this.

"You don't have to. Just thought you'd be hungry." Jeongguk shrugs, saving the cover to the computer under 'Jimin & Jeongguk' before standing up and heading to the door.

"I... I am." Jimin nods, his stomach doing a flip at the thought of skipping classes with Jeongguk.

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at him. "So… Are you coming?"

Jimin nods again, getting up and running a hand through his pink hair nervously as he follows Jeongguk out of the music room.

Jeongguk walks a step ahead of Jimin, leading the younger boy to his car.

"What's your go-to fast food place?" Jeongguk asks when they are seated, turning on the engine.

Jimin inwardly screams as he watches Jeongguk maneuver the car out of the parking space.

"I like all of them," Jimin says, averting his eyes to stop acting like a creep. Jeongguk is just driving a car. Nothing special about it.

"I’ll choose, then," Jeongguk hums.

Jimin is pretty sure he's drooling. He can't keep his eyes off of Jeongguk for too long and, yeah, he's definitely on the verge of drooling.

Jeongguk just looks too good. The muscles along his forearm flex when he turns the steering wheel and the way he drives with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the gearbox is too hot for Jimin's poor heart.

It’s silent except for the radio and somehow it's not awkward at all. Jimin is slightly confused as to how they have gotten to that stage. He just feels like neither of them really mind these quiet moments. He doesn't know what Jeongguk is thinking, but Jimin is content just feeling his heartbeat race with a warmth only the older boy can make him feel.

Jeongguk orders from the drive thru and Jimin doesn't question him, just saying what he wants to eat and protesting when Jeongguk pays for him and doesn't ask for the receipt.

"Hyung, how should I know how much I owe you?" Jimin complains as they wait for their food.

"Think of it as a thank you for helping me pass music class," Jeongguk hums, unbothered. "It's not like it's expensive, anyway. You don't owe me anything."

Jimin pouts lightly. "Fine... But passing music is all you. You'd pass with any partner."

Jeongguk shakes his head, glancing at Jimin who is playing with the air conditioning.

"I doubt I would have been able to put up with anyone else. Just the thought of doing it alone with Nari..." Jeongguk shudders dramatically, making Jimin look at him and laugh, eyes disappearing with a big smile. 

After some giggling, leaning his weight on the car door, Jimin shakes his head. "That's mean, hyung! Nari isn't that bad when you've gotten used to her... I just hope she's feeling okay by now."

Jeongguk kisses his teeth. "You laughed! That means you're mean, too. And she's crazy, seriously. I've never heard anyone talk so much."

Jimin giggles a little more. "Yeah, I guess it can become a bit much at times…but, still, you'd get an A for your vocals alone."

Jeongguk smiles and looks away to hide a possible blush. Jimin's heart flips again.

Jeongguk takes the food from the employee when it arrives a moment later, handing it all to Jimin before he starts to drive again.

"Where are we going?" Jimin asks. He figured they were going to eat in the parking lot or something.

"The views are boring down here," Jeongguk says shortly, eyes on the road.

Jimin furrows his eyebrows. Down here?

Jeongguk turns up the radio when a song by The 1975 comes on and hums along as he takes them farther away from the city center.

Jimin briefly—and not so seriously—wonders if this is the part where he dies. If that's the case, and Jeongguk just lured him out here with food only to kill him, he still enjoys this. In less than fifteen minutes, driving with Jeongguk has become his favorite thing to do in life.

Jeongguk notices how Jimin pays more and more interest to their surroundings. He doesn’t tell the younger boy that he's taking him to his safe place. It feels better that way. He just feels the need to show it to Jimin.

"Come on," Jeongguk says, taking the bag of food from Jimin before getting out of the car.

Jimin follows him wordlessly, eyes glued to the view. They can see the whole city from here. All the streets, gardens, buildings, forests and fields.

Jeongguk hops up on the hood of the car and Jimin does the same with a smile on his lips.

"This place is amazing," Jimin awes, "and it's so quiet up here..."

Jeongguk nods, handing Jimin his food.

"It's perfect when you need a break from everything. The city looks so small from here. Nothing seems as serious," Jeongguk explains, taking a moment to breathe. The air always seems fresher here.

Truth is, he hasn't even told Taehyung about the fact that he goes here when his problems seem too much. He tells Taehyung everything, but not this. This place is Jeongguk's.

"You're right." 

Jimin looks at him with sparkling eyes and Jeongguk suddenly feels out of breath. The view is nothing compared to this pink-haired boy who has managed to infiltrate Jeongguk's heart somehow.

"I think I can see our school." Jimin points. Jeongguk nods as he takes a bite of his burger because he has been here enough to know exactly where.

Jimin continues mapping out where their house and his old house are, pointing with his small hand when he sees a freight train moving along the outskirts. Jeongguk is endeared, silently watching Jimin find happiness from his place.

The shorter boy's smile is bright and his nose is turning the same color as his hair from the cold.

"When did you know you were gay?" Jeongguk blurts out somewhere in the midst of it all.

Jimin looks at him with widening eyes. "What– I– It's...it's hard to say exactly when," he stutters out, surprised.

Jeongguk hums. "But like, why’d you choose to be?"

"Choose... It's not a choice, hyung."

Jeongguk frowns. "But...it kind of is? Being gay in this country…you'll just get beaten up, so why would you be to begin with? It has to start somewhere, right?"

Jimin stares at him for a long time, speechless.

"Wow, that's... You're not making any sense now. We should go back. I think I can make it in time to last period," he says distantly as he gathers the trash.

"Wait, Jimin, I didn't mean to offend you. I just... I'm confused."

Jimin looks back at Jeongguk, furrowing his eyebrows. "About what?"

"Everything? I don't get why you would put yourself in a position where people can look down on you or deny you things. I mean, love doesn't have to do with biology, right? It's in the mind. We're attracted to personality, so why not find a girl with an attractive personality?"

Jeongguk notices that Jimin is avoiding his gaze and frowns.

"It's...not that easy," Jimin says quietly and slides off the hood. "Can we go back?"

Jeongguk hops off the hood, too. "You didn't answer my question..." he says, grabbing Jimin's wrist to make him look at him.

"I don't have an answer to that, Jeongguk. Just... It's not a choice and it's not easy. I can't control who I'm attracted to. You're wrong." 

Jeongguk can see disappointment in his eyes, and he knows he has offended him. He didn't mean to ruin Jimin's happy mood at all.

"I'm sorry if I upset you, but I'm trying to understand." He takes a step closer to Jimin, feeling a strange urge to comfort even though it's him that is hurting Jimin. "I know it's a big part of you and I want to understand why you..."

Jimin just meets his eyes with caution as Jeongguk moves even closer, seemingly unaware of it. The older boy is clearly frustrated, and Jimin doesn't want to intervene.

"I don't understand why you'd be attracted to Taemin of all people," Jeongguk continues.

Jimin stays still as Jeongguk runs his tongue over his piercing. He gets a hunch of what this is about.

"I'm not attracted to Taemin hyung like that," Jimin admits softly, the quiet around them and their proximity is making him want to whisper.

Jeongguk's eyebrows twitch slightly downwards, wavy hair moving a little with the wind.

"You...you're not?" 

Jimin shakes his head with a small smile. "I'm not."

Jeongguk almost closes the distance left between them, but doesn't. Instead he steps back.

"Okay," he says, feeling dumb. "I still don't understand."

Jimin heaves a sigh. "Some people just don't understand, hyung. That's what makes homosexuality a sin in most religions and what gets us beaten up," he mumbles while turning to get in the car again.

Jeongguk runs a hand over his face as he does the same, cursing himself in his head as he fastens his seatbelt.

"I'm not homophobic," he states after a while of silence, still feeling like everything he says sounds stupid.

"Okay."

Jeongguk watches Jimin look out at the view blankly.

"I'm not. I just... I don't know why I said all that. I've never had to get to know someone who's gay," Jeongguk tries to explain.

There it is again. Had to get to know. Jimin's heart aches.

"It's fine, hyung, just...just drive."

Jeongguk bites his tongue at the tone, starting the car.

It's not a peaceful silence this time around. It's suffocating in a bad way and Jimin just wants to get out.

Homophobic opinions don't affect him as much anymore, but it hurts him when it's Jeongguk. Even though it's just lightly homophobic, and even though Jimin thinks that Jeongguk might be feeling it towards himself rather than Jimin, it hurts.

He thought they were getting closer. This is a step in the entirely wrong direction.

Jeongguk clears his throat silently as they arrive in the city. "Do you really want to go back to school?" he asks, stealing a quick glance at Jimin.

"Yes."

Jimin doesn't want to go home with Jeongguk and continue to exist in this tension.

Jeongguk sighs again and drives straight to the school, parking the car in his usual spot.

Jimin unbuckles his seatbelt. "Thanks for the food," he mumbles, reaching to open the door.

"Jimin," Jeongguk grabs Jimin's hand, "look at me."

Jimin does so hesitantly, ignoring the tingles in the palm of his hand.

"Don't hate me, okay? I'm not good at this but I'm trying," Jeongguk sounds a bit desperate, "I'm really trying."

Jimin nods, sliding his hand out of Jeongguk's and the older boy draws his hand back as if he hadn't meant to reach out in the first place.

"I am, too," Jimin says, and then he gets out of the car.

Jeongguk watches Jimin disappear into the building before burying his face in his hands.

"Fuck," he mumbles, wondering what he just did. Jimin is clearly upset with him.

He just wants answers. Why is he attracted to Jimin? Why Jimin when Jeongguk has been with plenty of girls that have had a chance to catch his interest?

He thought Jimin could help, but maybe the psychologist was wrong. Maybe there is no cure. Maybe Jeongguk has ASPD. Maybe he's unfixable.

The walk to the alleyway is short from the school, and Jeongguk wastes away a few hours there. By the time he's walking back to the car, the sun is setting and his pack of cigarettes is almost empty, but he feels better like this.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin doesn't see much of Jeongguk until the music class on Friday, even though they live in the same house. The older one ditched the class on Wednesday and Jimin hasn't been home much. They're avoiding each other. At least Jimin is.

"Jimin!"

Jimin slows his steps, turning his head to find Jeongguk jogging to catch up to him on the way to class. "Hi, hyung." 

"You good?" Jeongguk asks. "Haven't seen you around the house much lately."

"Yeah... I've been at Yoongi's place after school. His parents are going through a rough patch," Jimin answers honestly. It's just a coincidence that it happened right when he was trying to avoid Jeongguk.

"Ah, is he...okay?" 

Jimin nods. "Yeah, just tired of it."

"So...did Mrs. Yong say anything about the cover last time?" Jeongguk asks, running a hand through his unruly hair.

"Nope."

"Maybe she hasn't listened to it yet," Jeongguk offers, putting his hand on Jimin's waist to pull him closer and out of the way of a bag that nearly flings into the smaller one’s chest, a student not paying attention when they walk by.

Jimin blinks in shock at the small gesture, Jeongguk's hand is gone as fast as it was there but he has to put a lot of effort into not getting completely soft all over, squashing down the mess of butterflies in his belly.

"Sh-she probably hasn't. We started learning how to achieve perfect pitch last time. It seems really hard.".

"That's when you know which note it is by just listening, right?" Jeongguk asks and Jimin nods.

They take a seat next to each other in a far corner. Jimin tries not to overthink the fact that Jeongguk is sitting next to him in class now, even without a group project. A couple months ago Jimin was daydreaming about him from the other side of the room. He tries to tell himself that nothing much really changed. He's still daydreaming, just next to the protagonist who also is now his kind of stepbrother. Nothing big.

"Hello everyone! I was just finished grading your covers this morning, and today we will be continuing with–"

Mrs. Yong is interrupted by the door opening and suddenly the whole room is dead silent.

"Um... Nari-ssi?" the teacher finally addresses, controlling her shocked expression.

Nari hums in acknowledgment and Jimin watches with big eyes as she slumps down in a vacant seat.

Mrs. Yong clears her throat and continues.

"What the hell?!" Jimin hisses quietly to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk looks at him, clueless. "I have no idea."

When they are set free to work on their own, Jimin cautiously walks over to Nari's desk, sitting down next to her. She barely reacts.

"Nari? What... How are you?" Jimin asks, wide eyes fixed on Nari's profile.

The younger girl glances at him, her eyes lined with thick black eyeliner that makes her look intimidating.

"I'm fine," she hums, dark red lips pursing slightly.

Jimin continues staring. "Okay... That's good. So, where have you been? I haven't seen you in weeks."

Nari rolls her eyes slightly. "You don't need to pretend that you care, Jimin."

Jimin is taken aback. Nari has never not used honorifics with him, and she has never been so cold. She is a whole other person.

Her usually long and shiny black hair is cut off right over her shoulders in many layers and her usually bright clothes are dark and goth-like.

"What? Of course I care. I've been worried. You just disappeared and now you come back like...like this and I'm confused." Jimin frowns, a little frantic. Nari is starting to freak him out.

"Do you like my new look?" Nari asks then, catching Jimin off guard again. He can faintly find the old Nari in her eyes for a moment. The one always searching for his attention and approval.

"I...I liked your other look, Nari. It fit your personality really well." 

Nari looks at him and Jimin thinks he makes out both hurt and confusion before she goes back to unbothered.

"I have a new personality now," she says, picking her books up and walking out even as Mrs. Yong calls her name.

Jimin stares after her, dumbfounded.

Jeongguk walks over and sits in the chair where Nari was sitting. "What'd she say?"

Jimin looks at the older boy and is yet again attacked by how fucking attractive a person can be.

"She-she, uh..." Jimin gathers himself with a breath, "she says she has a new personality."

"Huh," Jeongguk acknowledges, nibbling on his lip ring. "Well, that's not weird at all."

"Right? Something's wrong, I think." Jimin shakes his head. "I'll talk to her again next time I see her. Do you know if she has any friends?"

Jeongguk shrugs. "I'm not that observant."

Jimin opens and closes his mouth. He would object to that statement, seeing as Jeongguk was attentive enough to save Jimin from being hit by a bag just a while ago, but he doesn't feel like confronting the matter.

"Okay. I've only seen her by herself in the halls. She’s been waving at me since she started here. Maybe she needs a friend," Jimin suggests.

"And you think she wants that person to be the guy she got rejected by...?" Jeongguk questions with a teasing smirk.

Jimin hits the older boy's arm. "Stop reminding me! I almost forgot... But I only rejected her romantically, and I said that I wanted us to be friends. I'll just try. She obviously needs someone to try."

"Whatever you say," Jeongguk murmurs. "Wanna do the assignment together?"

Jimin perks up slightly. "Look who's not skipping the whole class like he used to," he teases, grinning as Jeongguk's lips twitch into a small smile.

"Yeah, well, maybe you're a good influence on me," he says casually, seemingly without thinking, but Jimin feels pride bloom in his chest.

Before the pink haired boy can say anything else, Mrs. Yong interrupts.

"Hey, guys," she smiles when they look up at her, "I'd like to see you both after class, so if you could just hang back for a bit that'd be great."

"Okay, teacher-nim." Jimin nods and she goes to help another student. "Do you think it's about Nari?" Jimin asks Jeongguk then, nibbling on his lip nervously.

"Dunno..." Jeongguk mumbles and he stares as Jimin gets lip gloss from his pencil case (does he keep one of those everywhere?) and expertly swipes some onto his lips before softly rubbing them together. Jeongguk wants to lick it right off and it makes him uncomfortable with himself.

They try their best with the assignment and they quickly realize that both of them are fairly good at the whole pitch thing. Jimin forgets all about the conversation they had on the mountain.

Time flies and soon it's only them and Mrs. Yong left in the classroom. The teacher sits down in a chair on the other side of the table they're sitting at.

"First of all, I'm really happy to see that you two have become friends," she says with a mildly excited smile. "Second, I listened to your cover."

Jimin runs a hand through his hair nervously and Jeongguk fiddles with his lighter under the table.

"It's amazing. Perfect!" she finally bursts out, eyes wide with excitement. "Your voices are gold together. I want you to perform it at the show the school hosts for the performing art programs at the end of the year, right before Christmas break."

Jeongguk stops fiddling with the lighter, tensing.

"What?" Jimin laughs nervously.

Mrs. Yong looks between them with an optimistic smile. "I'd feel like a villain if I kept the knowledge of your talent to myself. The world needs to hear you, the school at the least. By performing you'd also get extra credit in the majority of your other classes, of course, and you'd get the highest grade in my class," she persuades.

Jimin opens and closes his mouth a few times, then glances at Jeongguk who is looking into space with a blank expression.

Mrs. Yong senses the mood and clears her throat. "Okay, just think about it?"

Jimin nods. "Thanks."

The two boys pick up their stuff and walk out. They're silent while moving through the crowd of all the students who finished their classes at the same time.

Jeongguk sticks with Jimin to the exit of the performing arts building and they look at each other for a few seconds, Jimin not making any move to go to the bus and neither does Jeongguk to his car.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," Jimin says then.

The older one is silent for a moment longer, then–

 "Do you want to?"

Jimin shrugs, nibbling on his lip.

"I mean...we're good. I know it, you know it. I have no problem singing in front of the school and I think it's an easy way to get extra credit. But I totally get it if you don't feel the same."

Jeongguk looks like he's in deep thought, eyes drifting and he cringes at some point before shaking it off and looking back to Jimin.

"I can't say my grades don’t need it," he starts, then shrugs. "I don't care about what anyone in this shitty building thinks, so why not?"

A grin creeps onto Jimin's face. "Okay! We can tell Mrs. Yong next week. She'll be ecstatic."

Jeongguk nods. "Want a ride home?"

Jimin barely keeps his breath from hitching in his throat at that simple question. He doesn't know why and the weird effects Jeongguk has on him will forever be a mystery.

"Um, yeah... I'm just gonna say bye to some friends. I'll meet you by the car," Jimin tries to act casual, glancing at Jeongguk while fishing out his phone from his bag.

Jeongguk gives a nod and a half-smile before walking away.

Jimin feels giddy from being around Jeongguk so much, he completely forgets why he avoided him in the first place.

He has a smile on his glossy lips as he starts walking toward the dance department.

"Jimin, wait up!"

Jimin whips his head around to see if the voice meant him, and his smile falls when spotting none other than Daehyun catching up to him.

"Um, what?" Jimin asks, stepping back slightly when the other stops in front of him.

Daehyun smiles. "Just wanted to see how you're doing. We've been in the same class for almost three years, you know."

Jimin frowns, confused and uncomfortable. "We never spoke during freshman or sophomore year," he states.

Daehyun's happy smile falters a bit. "We spoke a few times in group projects, remember? And I still owe you," he reminds. "Ah, speaking of. I've seen you hanging around Jeon. He's bad news."

Jimin's jaw drops slightly, taken aback. "Do you seriously think you're in a position to call anyone bad news? What the hell would you know, anyway?" he snaps, eyebrows furrowed.

Dawhyun puts his hands up in defense. "Don't kill the messenger. I know more than you might think, Jimin. I'm just telling you to be careful, okay? You don't wanna get involved, trust me."

Jimin stares, dumbfounded. 

"Trust me when I say I'll never ever trust you," he finally gets out with obvious distaste.

He doesn't bother with Daehyun's reaction or whatever else he has to say, turning on his heel to say goodbye to Hoseok who should be waiting for him by now.

Jeongguk gives Jimin a questioning look as the younger one hops into his car and Jimin tries to conceal his change in moods.

"Sorry it took so long. I got held up," he apologizes with a small smile.

Jeongguk observes him for a moment, hesitates, and then shakes his head slightly before nodding. "It's okay. Wasn't that long."

Jimin feels a bit better, smiling more genuinely as Jeongguk drives out of the parking lot.

"You doing anything today?" Jimin questions, watching the passing scenery.

Jeongguk shakes his head. "No, just the usual. Running, showering, then...just chilling. Why?"

Jimin nibbles on his lip, glancing at Jeongguk. The older boy has his eyes directed on the road and his hair is hanging slightly in his eyes.

"Do you wanna teach me more about that video game later?" Jimin asks, keeping his eyes on Jeongguk mostly because he finds it hard to stop once he's started. "My friends are having a date night without me," he adds.

Jeongguk's lips twitch upwards at that and he glances at Jimin, making the younger one avert his eyes quickly, the tips of his ears heating up at being caught staring.

"Must suck being friends with two couples," Jeongguk hums with amusement finding its way into his voice.

Jimin shrugs, looking down at his hands with a small smile. "Sometimes. I don't feel like a third wheel that often, though. Just at times like these."

"I get it. Tae and my sister have no chill when it comes to PDA. Makes me sick every day."

Jimin laughs, looking to see Jeongguk grinning, too. The car comes to a stop.

"I've noticed." Jimin giggles as he steps outside, then scrunches his nose up. "Can't say I'd be much better, though."

Jeongguk looks at him again with his eyebrows raised slightly and Jimin looks back, his smile sheepish as they start walking to the door.

"Actually, that isn't surprising." Jeongguk chuckles lightly.

Jimin looks up to the house and drags his lip between his teeth. "Guess not," he hums, thinking back to the total of two times Jeongguk has seen Jimin kissing different people in the span of two weeks along with the hickeys and the way he hugs everyone he meets.

"We can play later. I'll let you know you when I'm done," Jeongguk decides, toeing off his shoes and disappearing down to the basement.

Jimin drops his bag by the door and goes straight to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. He sits on the counter and messages his friends for a while, sneaking glances through the doorway at Jeongguk when the older comes back up from the basement in black sweats and an oversized T-shirt, tying his running shoes on and disappearing outside—but not before catching Jimin staring and giving him a small nod goodbye.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin is half asleep on the couch watching a k-drama by the time Jeongguk is done showering.

"You still up for a few games?" Jeongguk questions as he walks into the living room and Jimin flinches slightly at the sudden sound.

"Yeah." Jimin nods, stretching a bit before turning the TV off.

Jimin improves a lot this time, learning how to get more points and getting more used to the buttons. Jeongguk is a great teacher. He's patient and just chuckles when Jimin messes something up over and over, showing him again until he finally gets the hang of it.

Jimin finds that, this time, he doesn't mind the ache in his spine that comes after a few hours of sitting still. He's having fun, wanting to do it more often.

He knows it isn't for the sake of the game.

Hyunwoo comes down to check on them when the sun starts to set, asking if he can join when he sees what they are doing. Jimin forces Jeongguk to set up Mario Kart so they can play all three.

Jimin is happier than usual the whole night, laughing through every game and feeling the joy deep in his chest when Jeongguk does the same, bonding with Hyunwoo. It's obvious that this rarely happens, judging by the happy look in Hyunwoo's eyes as he watches his son laugh.

Jimin goes to sleep with a smile on his face, thinking that it has been a good day. Really good.

⋆˚࿔

On Saturday, Jimin sees Taemin again.

The older boy shows up to his house unannounced with coffee for himself and tea without sugar for Jimin. Areum opens the door and immediately takes a liking to the silver haired boy. Jimin comes down and, after fussing over the pink hair, Taemin proposes the idea of taking a walk around the block and then spending the whole day watching movies.

"Is the walk to make up for being lazy?" Jimin questions after putting on his shoes.

"'Course." Taemin grins, shutting the door behind them.

They walk in comfortable silence for a bit before Taemin looks at Jimin.

"How have you been? Is the new home situation okay?"

Jimin hums a little before answering. "I guess. Sooyun is already like a sister to me. Jeongguk is... He's confusing but we're making progress, I think."

"What do you mean?" Taemin asks, interested.

Jimin nibbles on his lip and buries his nose in his fluffy jacket. 

"We're friends I guess. But he said some really weird stuff the other day, about homosexuality being a choice and he asked why I would choose it. It really hurt hearing him say that, but it also seemed like he was actually confused and kind of frustrated?" Jimin frowns. "I don't know, hyung. I just got a feeling. Now he's acting normal again."

"You got a feeling that he's confused with you, or with himself? Because that sounds like a really weird thing to ask if it was a genuine question about you."

Jimin meets Taemin's eyes. "I know, right? That's what I was thinking, too... I was mad at first because I thought he was being homophobic towards me, but then he brought you up and I realized that maybe it was more about him being homophobic towards himself. I really don't want to make assumptions, though."

Taemin raises his eyebrows, surprised. "He brought me up? Wow, I think you're right. Maybe making him jealous was a bad idea after all."

Jimin nods. "Yeah, I feel really bad. He cut his hand really badly because of it at the party, too."

"Right, how did that go?"

Jimin looks down again, hiding his growing blush.

"It was weird, as well," he murmurs, thinking back to the way Jeongguk's hands had felt in his, then to how they had felt on his thighs after he kissed Minjung. He shivers, blaming it on the cold.

"More homophobic stuff?" Taemin asks, oblivious.

"No, he's different when he's drunk. He can't keep his hands to himself, mostly."

Taemin makes a scandalized noise and Jimin blushes harder and buries his face almost entirely in the high collar of his jacket.

"Spill!" Taemin exclaims, voice echoing over the rooftops.

Jimin shakes his head, cringing. "No way."

Taemin laughs and it sounds like an evil witch cackling to themselves.

"You're making him question himself. That's so cute. Poor guy."

Jimin makes a face at Taemin. "That was so contradictory."

Taemin just keeps chuckling. "It's true! I felt like shit when I started questioning my sexuality so I feel bad for him, but it's also cute that he's into you and seeking you out when he's drunk because he can't help himself."

Jimin groans. "But that's so wrong! And what about me? I can't help myself, either. I feel like I'm taking advantage of him if I don't stop him, but it's so hard. I freeze up."

Taemin hums in thought. "Then make sure to be drunk as well?"

Jimin stares at Taemin with wide eyes. "Have you forgotten how I act when I'm drunk? That could end so badly."

Taemin just wiggles his eyebrows and Jimin pushes him again.

"Stop, it's not even funny. That'd be a disaster."

Taemin laughs. "I'm just kidding. Kinda. I mean, it wouldn't be the end of the word. Maybe it'd help him out a lot," he points out.

Jimin shakes his head. "Not happening, hyung."

"Fine, yeah, just live in permanent tension," Taemin agrees dramatically.

Jimin snorts. "I will, thank you very much."

"So what about Sooyun? Does she suspect anything? About you liking Jeongguk, I mean."

"No... If she does, she's good at hiding it. I feel really bad. Feels like I'm lying to her constantly." Jimin sighs, frowning.

Taemin puts an arm around his shoulders. "Don't feel bad. It's your business, and your choice if you wanna tell her or not."

"I guess."

"Have you thought any more about the poem competition?" Taemin asks after a while of silence, still with one arm around Jimin and the other in his jacket pocket.

Jimin almost gasps. "Shit, I forgot," he whines. "I haven't written anything."

Taemin chuckles. "It's okay. You wrote the first one in, like, twenty minutes. If you wanna participate, you can. There's a whole week left ‘til the second round."

"I'll see if I come up with something good enough. I'd seem ungrateful if I bailed."

“There are a few runners-up, so don’t stress it.” Taemin smiles. "Come on, let's hurry up so we can switch to not moving an inch for the rest of the day."

Jimin chuckles. "Yeah, okay."

⋆˚࿔

Jeongguk spends his Saturday morning at the gym, working out and ignoring the girls at the gym staring at him, and also Minji's texts.

She recently quit her tactic of giving Jeongguk the silent treatment—switching over to guilt tripping instead. His phone has been going off the whole morning and he is starting to grow tired of it because he couldn't care less if she was hurt by what he said or did at the party. 

Minji seems to think that they are, though. She keeps asking if they're over, if that was his way of breaking up with her. As if they were ever official.

Jeongguk is just about to shut her up by replying with a ‘yes’ when another message comes up.

the second round of the poem
contest is next saturday

you were going to come cheer
for me when I win

Jeongguk thinks of Jimin.

Going there with Minji would be a bulletproof excuse to see Jimin read another poem.

I was drunk last week

 See you Saturday

Jeongguk goes back to ignoring the incoming messages, finishing his workout.

He comes home to find Areum, Jimin and Taemin in a cheerful conversation in the kitchen, mentally cringing when he realizes that he has to apologize for how he acted at the party.

He escapes downstairs without anyone noticing and procrastinates.

⋆˚࿔

Jimin is comfortably cuddled into Taemin's side on the couch when Jeongguk comes into the room and looks at them.

He sits up straighter, moving his upper body away from Taemin. "What's up, hyung?"

Jeongguk clears his throat. "Just wanted to say sorry for what I said at the party. I guess Jimin already told you but you're welcome here anytime."

Taemin smiles. "It's fine, Jeongguk. I get you. No hard feelings."

Jeongguk frowns slightly at the ‘I get you’, but nods nonetheless and leaves again.

Taemin looks at Jimin. "He must be seriously whipped. He hates me, and he still apologized for your sake."

Jimin rolls his eyes. "Not everything has to be about me. Maybe he felt bad."

Taemin just smiles.

"I'm throwing a party this Friday at my apartment. You should come. Invite all your friends, including Jeongguk," Taemin suggests.

Jimin looks at him, skeptical. "Isn't Cho going to be there?"

Taemin shakes his head. "I already checked with her and Ara. They're both busy."

"Sounds fun, then. I'll ask the others."

⋆˚࿔

Everyone is ecstatic to hear about a party.

"Do you think I should ask Jeongguk, Tae and Sooyun?" Jimin asks, nibbling on his lip.

"Yes, why not?" Seokjin questions. "The more the merrier."

Jimin nods. "Yeah, you're right."

Hoseok laughs, sensing Jimin's mood. "Why are you so nervous?"

"He's scared he'll jump Jeongguk’s bones," Seokjin snickers.

"After last time, it's more like he's scared Jeongguk will jump his bones," Yoongi adds.

Jimin frowns. "You're the worst. I'm going to replace you all with Sooyun noona, she's so much nicer."

"But can Sooyun do this?" Hoseok latches onto Jimin's side and soon he is in the middle of a group hug.

Jimin can’t help but smile in delight and Seokjin grins triumphantly as they pull back. "Thought so. You love us."

"We'll try to keep you away from any shady people this time," Namjoon says, hand warm on Jimin's shoulder.

"I'll be more careful from now on, you don’t have to worry," Jimin insists.

"Still gonna keep watch on our baby." Seokjin pets the back of Jimin's head.

Jimin shies away from all the touches even though it feels nice. "I'm not a baby."

"No, but you're just as precious as one." Hoseok beams, replacing Seokjin and throwing an arm around Jimin's shoulders.

Jimin just hums, his eye catching a familiar figure in the hall they are walking in to get to sociology.

"You guys can go ahead of me, I'll be there soon," he says to his friends, removing Hoseok's arm and walking over to Nari.

"Hey, Nari," he greets, catching her off guard. She looks like herself for a moment as she looks up to him with big eyes before looking back at her phone, hiding a smile.

"Hi, Jimin. What can I do for you?"

Jimin lets his eyes travel over all her new ear piercings. "Just wanted to see if you want to come to a party this Friday? Me and my friends are going."

Nari looks back to him, eyes scanning his face before replying, "Maybe. Text me the details and I'll consider it."

Jimin takes the piece of paper she scribbles her number on and hurries to class, feeling like he accomplished something good.

The next day he asks the twins and Taehyung if they would like to come. Taehyung and Jeongguk agree with the reassurance of Cho's absence while Sooyun sulks because she has a prior engagement.

⋆˚࿔

Friday rolls around quickly and Jimin feels bold dressing for Taemin's party, knowing that everyone who is going to be there will be supportive of whatever he puts on.

He chooses black, low waisted jeans, a soft beige, cropped t-shirt with a pretty flower print on it, and a leather jacket on top. 

Jimin feels both comfortable and sexy, especially when Jeongguk seems to lose his train of thought when he sees him whilst in the middle of talking to Taehyung, eyes moving over his body twice and not tearing away until Taehyung snaps his fingers in front of his face. 

To be fair, Jimin is no better.

"Let's go," Jimin says softly, making Taehyung turn and wolf whistle when he sees him, pretending to cover Jeongguk's eyes.

They all survive the walk to the bus even though Taehyung made them take shots before leaving and even though Jimin thinks he should be dead by now from how Jeongguk's shirt is slightly see-through, his tattoos and nipple piercings just barely visible in the most tantalizing way possible.

Seokjin and Namjoon are already on the bus, looking rather disheveled. Jimin doesn't want to know why. Hoseok and Yoongi hop on by Hoseok's neighborhood and then they are all on their way.

Jimin has been texting with Nari and she might come later.

"Welcome!" Taemin beams at them as he opens the apartment door.

Taemin lives in a really nice apartment building on the top floor. The inside of the apartment is big and crowded with people, probably friends of Taemin but also friends of friends. The music is loud and when Jimin asks Taemin if it's really allowed in an apartment he says that he pays too much rent not to get to have a party once in a while.

In the next couple of hours, Jimin dances on his own a lot when he's not chatting to his and Taemin's friends or quickly chugging down a drink in an attempt to not get roofied again—which only makes him drunk faster than usual. Hoseok and Yoongi make out in a corner and Taehyung takes shots with Taemin and his friends. Jimin sees Jeongguk dancing with a girl at one point, still his eyes find Jimin's almost immediately when Jimin looks. Seokjin and Namjoon seem to have disappeared.

Taemin dances with Jimin for a while. They don't make out this time around, even though Jimin requests to. Taemin tells him it's not because he doesn't want to, but rather because he doesn't want Jeongguk to murder him tonight, to which Jimin just giggles.

Nari shows up, too. She wears an oversized, black t-shirt and fishnets under a leather skirt.

"Hi, Nari!" Jimin exclaims, hugging her. "You look really pretty."

Nari hugs him back with a small, controlled smile. "Thanks."

Jimin invites her to dance but she says she would rather just grab a drink and stand to the side. Jimin pouts but lets her.

Taehyung comes by to pull Jimin into a game of beer pong. Jimin ends up in a team with Taehyung plus two strangers and they're playing against Jeongguk and two girls who seem to be in a silent competition of who will get the guy.

"I'm amazing at this! Prepare to lose," Jimin boasts, pointing at the other team challengingly. Jeongguk just smiles, leaning back on the wall and crossing his arms. Jimin falters for a few seconds, eyes flitting over Jeongguk’s frame, attraction surging in his gut.

"Good, we've lost three times in a row."

Jimin looks to the one of the strangers on his team who spoke up and realizes he should introduce himself, smiling. "Hi, I'm Jimin." 

They introduce themselves as Jaesung and Myeong, two of Taemin's friends from high school.

"Let's get this over with," Jeongguk says, cracking his knuckles and the girls next to him giggle.

"As if it's going to be easy. We'll crush you and your little sidekicks."

The girls gasp in offense, glaring at Jimin.

"Bitch, I'm not a sidekick," one of them snaps.

The other just continues flirting with Jeongguk. "Jeongguk oppa never misses. You're gonna lose."

Taehyung snorts next to Jimin and Jimin is on the verge of laughing.

Jimin wasn't lying when he said that he's good at beer pong. He's awful when he's sober, but a master when he's drunk—which he fortunately is right now.

Jeongguk throws the ball first, perfectly making it fall into a cup that Taehyung chugs with a grin. Jimin can't pinpoint which kind of drunk Taehyung is, just that he's happy and bold, but not too loud like Hoseok.

Myeong misses the next and so does one of the girls on Jeongguk's team. Taehyung hits the edge on one and it falls in, making him holler and they all high five. The other girl on Jeongguk's team, the one who snapped at him, is good. She throws the ball effortlessly into one of the cups, smirking and looking to Jeongguk for a reaction, scrunching her nose up when Jeongguk is busy looking at Jimin who is currently taking his jacket off because it's hot and it's hard to play with so much fabric blocking his movements.

"Watch and learn," he murmurs, eyes set on a cup and Taehyung cackles behind him about how funny it would be if he missed.

Jimin doesn't, though. It drops right down into the cup and he smiles, bowing as his team claps for him. He catches Jeongguk's gaze, excitement zipping through him at the way he looks at him, almost predatory.

"Come on, oppa. Show them," the flirtier of the girls says, putting her hand on Jeongguk's bicep.

Jeongguk pays her no mind, eyes lingering on Jimin's until the very last second before he throws. He misses.

"Fuck yeah!" Taehyung shouts, laughing.

Jimin smirks, meeting Jeongguk's eyes again and the way Jeongguk runs his tongue over his piercing in annoyance confirms Jimin's suspicion of him being a distraction to the older boy.

Jaesung throws next and makes one of the girls drink who goes next and almost misses, but the ball bounces back in.

When it's Jeongguk's turn to go next, Jimin experimentally dances a little, rolling his upper body slowly and pretends to be enjoying the song. Jeongguk misses again and Jimin grins triumphantly.

"’Jeongguk oppa never misses’, my ass," Jimin mocks, and laughs with Taehyung while Jeongguk rolls his eyes and the flirty girl huffs.

Jimin's team wins in the end and Taehyung hugs him, twirling him in the air. The other two hug him as well, thanking him for saving them from another loss.

Jimin feels Jeongguk's eyes on him the entire time, even though the black-haired boy has two girls by his side, trying to reassure him that it's not his fault they lost, that the other team was surely just cheating.

Jimin goes back to the dance floor, feeling on cloud nine.

His mood is slightly ruined when a random boy joins him.

"What's your name?" he asks, smiling as he moves with Jimin—not touching him, though. Just dances in front of him. 

"Jimin. Yours?"

"Seongmin. Nice to meet you, Jimin. Can I dance with you?" he asks, head tilting cutely.

Jimin nods, smiling.

They dance for quite some time, chatting in between and Jimin likes Seongmin. But he still panics when the latter offers to get him something to drink.

"N-no, um... I actually have to...go." Jimin moves away from the confused boy.

"Oh... Are you alright? Should I get someone?" 

Jimin shakes his head. "No, I'm fine. Just need some air."

He turns and walks out of the apartment, breathing in a deep breath of fresh air.

He walks along the corridor to the stairs, experimentally walking up one more floor and is delighted to find that there is an open rooftop. He pushes the door open and walks to the edge, adorned with secure half-walls to keep people from falling off.

It's cold, his jacket is abandoned somewhere inside by the beer pong table, but the view is incredible.

He's only there for a minute or two before the door opens and Jimin's blood runs cold for a second, scared that it could be someone dangerous when he has nowhere to run.

But it's just Jeongguk, about to light a cigarette before he sees Jimin, doing a double take as if he was expecting the area to be empty of people.

"Hey," Jimin mumbles, looking back out at the view as he hugs himself, goosebumps spreading on his bare skin. He doesn't think it's just because of the cold anymore.

Jeongguk approaches without a word, bringing the cigarette to his lips and lighting it. Jimin watches him in silence, not caring about getting caught when Jeongguk looks right back at him after exhaling in the other direction.

They stay still like that for a few long seconds. It's dark, but the city lights reflect in Jeongguk's eyes and Jimin can't look away.

"You're cold," Jeongguk states, nodding to the way Jimin is hugging himself.

"Left my jacket inside. I'm fine," Jimin reassures, caging his lower lip between his teeth as he watches Jeongguk put the cigarette between his lips and shrug out of his own jacket, heart stuttering.

Jimin is frozen in place as Jeongguk drapes the jacket over his shoulders. It swallows his body and it's so warm Jimin can't get himself to give it back immediately. He feels bad, though, because Jeongguk's shirt is see-through, barely there. The wind must blow right through it.

"Thank you," Jimin gets out in a whisper and Jeongguk hums, looking out over the city as he takes another drag of the cigarette.

"Can I have some?" Jimin asks, regaining his ability to speak.

Jeongguk turns his head, raising an eyebrow. "Smoke?" Jimin nods with a shrug. "No way."

Jimin watches the glowing light drop to the ground, put out by Jeongguk's thick boot heel.

"You do it all the time." Jimin pouts, looking from the cigarette to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk's eyes flicker between his eyes and mouth, exhaling. "Don't pout."

Jimin huffs. "Don't tell me what to do."

Jeongguk smirks, amused. Before Jimin knows it he's backed into the wall, feeling Jeongguk's hot breath on his ear and Jimin stops breathing.

"What, Jimin-ah?" Jeongguk teases and Jimin bites back a pathetic noise.

Jeongguk leans back slightly and Jimin's cheeks heat up with an incoming blush at their proximity. Jeongguk's not even touching him, but Jimin is burning up.

"Cat's got your tongue?"

Jimin places a hand on Jeongguk's sternum to push him away, but his mind and body aren't cooperating with the alcohol in his veins. Instead of pushing, he curls his fingers into the fabric and tugs lightly.

Jeongguk raises one eyebrow and hums lowly, taking one step forward, and then he touches Jimin, letting his fingertips trace from his faint abs to his waist beneath the jacket, gripping there. Jimin gasps under his breath, eyelids fluttering and vision hazy for a second as he looks from Jeongguk's tattooed hands on him to his eyes.

The attraction in Jeongguk's gaze is unmistakable. It makes Jimin nervous, squirming slightly and gripping Jeongguk's shirt tighter.

"You're not cold at all," Jeongguk murmurs, sliding his hands upwards over Jimin's rib cage and down again, letting the younger boy fist his shirt.

Jimin shivers, and it has nothing to do with the cold November air this time.

Jeongguk is close, breath fanning Jimin's face and Jimin's breath hitches in his throat when he’s pulled in, even closer, away from the edge. His waist is held in big, warm hands. The only thing keeping them from kissing right now is the way Jimin is leaning his head back slightly. It's really just because he thinks kissing Jeongguk would actually make his heart stop. It’s for his own safety.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Jeongguk asks, head tilting just slightly as his eyes scan Jimin's face. His voice is low—almost a whisper. It sends tingles through Jimin.

The pink-haired one shakes his head lightly.

"Do you want me to go?"

Jimin shakes his head quickly this time, the thought of being without Jeongguk's hands on him now makes his heart clench in his chest.

Jeongguk hums, murmuring, "I really wanna kiss you."

Jimin actually makes a sound in alarm, eyes wide as he watches Jeongguk's dark ones flicker to his parted lips.

"Hyung," Jimin squeaks, the hand gripping Jeongguk's shirt flattening out in an attempt to control himself from just pulling him in.

Jeongguk looks up into his eyes again and they're so close that Jimin could count his eyelashes if he wanted to—even in the dark—breaths mingling hotly.

"You gonna let me?" Jeongguk questions in that same murmur, their lips mere millimeters from touching, noses brushing together.

Jimin can't really help himself. His eyes flicker down to Jeongguk's mouth and his chest is about to explode with how much he really wants it.

Jeongguk runs his tongue over his piercing and Jimin's knees feel weak, glad that Jeongguk is still holding him.

And Jimin is so ready to run his fingers into Jeongguk's hair and pull him in. So close to just giving in.

The door to the rooftop opens again, making Jimin force Jeongguk's hands off of his waist and he stumbles back into the wall, regaining some brain cells.

None other than Cho is standing in the doorway, eyes wide as she looks between them, making out their identities in the dark.

"Shit, sorry," she calls out to them, quickly going back inside.

Jimin looks at Jeongguk and his jaw is now set tight, eyes narrowed as he lights another cigarette with swift movements.

"H-hyung, I swear Taemin said she wouldn't be here," Jimin rushes out, still high on Jeongguk's warmth but now also invaded with panic.

Jeongguk doesn't answer, just smokes. Jimin watches for a moment before trying again.

"Hyung," he says softly, putting a hand on Jeongguk's arm.

Jeongguk moves his arm away and looks into Jimin's eyes.

"You should really stay away from me, Jimin. I mean it," he says in a low voice, sounding frustrated and annoyed.

Jimin looks at him, so confused with Jeongguk's constant back and forths. It's like he's fighting two sides of himself that have totally opposite beliefs and wants, switching from one to the other at random times.

Jimin doesn't get a chance to answer before Jeongguk is already gone, the heavy door shutting after him and Jimin is left alone.

He stays there for maybe ten more minutes, blankly staring out at the view and hugging Jeongguk's jacket around his body, before going back down to the party.

He regrets doing so the second he steps inside and his eyes automatically fall on Jeongguk.

The older boy is dancing with the girl who snapped at him earlier. Scratch dancing, actually. More like dry humping and Jimin's heart plummets, eyes glazing over.

He turns right back around and walks back to the roof, planning to cry his heartbreak out in his lonesome.

Of course nothing goes as planned for him. He realizes that he just has to accept that fact by now. He's never in luck. Ever.

Cho follows him up and sits down next to him as he silently cries, sniffling from time to time.

She stays silent for a long time and Jimin can't get himself to ask what she wants. He doesn't feel the strength to bother—just lets her join his pity party.

It's not until Jimin's tears have relatively stopped streaming that she speaks up.

"He's just like I was," she admits into the quiet night around them.

Jimin glances at her, sniffling. She's got her head against the wall, looking ahead with her legs straight on the ground in front of her and her hands in her lap.

"I've heard about him... How he's been after we broke up. You know…partying, sex, drugs. He's making the exact same mistakes I did."

Cho turns her head and meets Jimin's gaze, a sad smile on her lips.

"It’s my fault. I was awful to him, even when I realized that he wasn't like the others."

Jimin doesn't have to ask, Cho already seems to be willing to tell him everything.

"He tried so hard. He was desperate to be a good boyfriend and, even then, I knew that he wasn't into me at all. He was just so desperate to love me that he convinced himself he did."

Jimin's heart is slowly breaking all over again, fresh tears just slipping out since his eyelashes are already clumped together and his cheeks already wet.

"I broke him," Cho whispers, looking down at her hands. "I saw myself in him. It was like looking into my past when I looked at him. A girl trying to please guys she didn't feel anything for. I made him feel like he wasn't good enough even when he tried so hard, just like they had done to me."

Jimin exhales, licking the salt from his lips. "How did you snap out of it?"

Cho looks at him again, a small smile playing on her lips. "I met Ara..."

Jimin's eyes widen in realization.

"One look at her and my whole life made sense."

"You mean..."

"I think Jeongguk is the same, yeah," Cho confirms, smirking slightly. "Seemed just fifteen minutes ago like he’s already found his Ara."

Jimin makes a sound in protest as she nudges him teasingly.

"He's probably sleeping with that blonde girl by now," Jimin mumbles, breathing in shakily at the thought.

Cho sends him a sympathetic look. "Maybe, but...you're the one wearing his jacket."

Jimin looks down at the dark blue jean fabric, running his fingertips over the edge.

"From what I know and heard, Jeongguk isn't the romantic type at all after what I did. I know I wasn't." She chuckles faintly. "Giving you his jacket and kissing on a rooftop? In my book, he's head over heels."

Jimin feels his ears heat up, shaking his head. "No way."

Cho clicks her tongue. "Keep telling yourself that and you'll ruin it. You have to make him snap out of this shit. It's not healthy, trust me. I've been where he is right now. God knows how many times I broke Ara's heart before finally growing a pair."

Jimin frowns, chewing on his lip. "How? How do I do that? I can't make him do anything. I'm the one head over heels."

Cho smiles. "That's cute. Makes this both easier and harder. You just have to be patient. Maybe nudge a little, but let him be the one to take things further and figure himself out. At least that's what worked for me," she adds. "I don't know for sure if Jeongguk thinks even the slightest bit like I did. I've tried to get to him, but he will barely look at me."

Jimin is silent for a while, soaking everything in. He looks at Cho and she turns to him, giving an encouraging smile.

"Thanks...for telling me," Jimin decides. He can't hold a grudge against Cho for doing those things to Jeongguk. Not when she has completely let go of her past and just wants to apologize to him.

"You're welcome," she says silently. "You needed to know. You're important."

Jimin still has doubts about that. Can he really change Jeongguk?

"I think you need to talk to him, too. I know he hates you, but I think it would help him a lot to hear you explain why you did it."

"I know." Cho sighs. "I'll keep trying. Maybe if I get to Taehyung first..."

Jimin hums in acknowledgment, looking up at the stars.

"Let's go back?" Cho suggests, standing up and brushing herself off before offering Jimin a hand.

Jimin lets her pull him to his feet. "I think I'm gonna go home."

"Do you want me to get someone?"

Jimin hesitates, thinking of his options. Seokjin and Namjoon have probably both left already. Hoseok and Yoongi are probably still here, and so is Taehyung.

"Could you get Tae hyung? And ask him to bring my jacket, too?" Jimin asks reluctantly, knowing they're not so fond of each other, Taehyung and her.

Cho nods, determined. "Of course. I'm not gonna avoid them forever. This could be the start of my attempt to apologize to Jeongguk."

"Thank you, Cho-ssi."

Cho chuckles, ruffling Jimin's hair. "Just call me noona."

Jimin nods with a reserved smile, watching as she disappears downstairs.

Jimin sighs, putting his elbows on the railing, and looks down at cars driving by.

What happened with Jeongguk right here just half an hour ago feels like a dream now. Jimin would have wanted to hear what happened with Cho from him. Maybe Jeongguk will tell him his point of view someday. How he felt.

Jimin still wants to know more about him. So bad.

He wants to be able to know what's going through his mind when his demeanor suddenly changes and when he pushes Jimin away. He wants to know what Jeongguk is so scared of.

Cho comes back with Taehyung a while later and the brown haired boy walks up to him.

"Hey, what happened?" Taehyung asks, eyebrows furrowed. He seems to have sobered up some after stopping with the shots.

Jimin sighs. "It's nothing... Can I have a hug?"

Taehyung immediately pulls him to his chest and Jimin feels like crying again. Taehyung's embrace is warm, and Jimin really needed a hug.

"You're wearing Gguk's jacket, tiny..." Taehyung sighs into his hair. "What'd he do?"

Jimin just shakes his head, not daring to talk or he will start crying again.

"Whatever it was, he's probably just trying to adjust. I've been his best friend since elementary school… I notice how he acts differently with you, you know." Taehyung pulls back and looks into Jimin's blood shot eyes. "He hasn't talked to me about it directly, but I can tell you confuse him."

"I don't want to be someone's secret again," Jimin says quietly.

Taehyung gives a small smile.

"Jeongguk isn't like that. He doesn't care what other people think. It's his own thoughts that he needs to get over."

Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes. "I want to go home."

Taehyung tucks him under his arm and guides them to the door.

"I'll take you home."