Chapter Text
The Shower of Doom
It was a peacefull morning in the underground lair of the turtles. Pipes rattled, rats squealed in the tunnels, the machines from Donnie's lab hummed softly like a lullaby and water dripped slowly and rhytmically on the concrete from the last night's storm.
In the living room, sorrounded by some plushies( Mikey's plushies), some pillows and nestled under a soft blanket, April O'Neil was sleeping peacefully. The last night's storm was too powerfull for her to go back to surface, and after four different advices , She decided to remain in the lair and sleep on the couch.
The redhead turned over a few times, then blinked, slowly, a bit groggy. She stretched and got up, yawning and throwing the blanket aside. From the kitchen, She Heard the loud laughter, threats and bickering of the turtles and Casey Jones.
In the kitchen, the turtles and Casey just finished the breakfast. Mikey, being his round to clean the dishes, pouted, but quickly took all the plates and forks and put them in the sink with a loud clank.
Leo: Mikey, you're going to break the plates If you keep throwing them like this.
Mikey: Relax, the plates are fine. Plus, how's that You don't scold Raph for this when he washes the dishes? He throws them like, harder, like they're rocks.
Leo( deadpean): That's because he throws them harder If I scold him.
Mikey( mischevious glint in eyes): And If I do like him?
Raph( cracking knuckles): Try it and I'm gonna clobber ya.
Mikey raised his hands in surrender and turned to the sink, turning on the water over the dishes and grabbing the sponge.
Back in living room.
April rubbed her eyes and tried to focus. She could hear the clatter of dishes, the low hum of Donnie’s machines in the background, and the turtles’ laughter echoing off the walls. She let out a quiet sigh.
April(stretching her arms over her head):Hmm… what… mmm… I need something to wake up.Maybe a shower.
With that decision made, she swung her legs off the couch, planting her feet firmly on the cold floor. She padded softly toward the hallway, trying not to wake any of the turtles, although the faint sound of a footstep here or a groan there made it clear she wasn’t the only early riser. The lair smelled faintly of pizza, metal, and the damp earth of the tunnels, a combination she had grown strangely fond of over the months.
Reaching the bathroom, April flicked on the light. Steam fogged the mirror from the residual humidity, and the tiles gleamed faintly in the artificial glow. She set her belongings on the counter, tossing her clothes aside, and turned the handle of the shower. A hiss of water filled the room, and soon a warm stream cascaded down the tiles. She stepped in, letting the heat and the gentle pressure of the water wash away the last remnants of sleep. For a moment, the noises of the lair faded to nothing but the soft drum of water against porcelain.
But little did she know, today’s “wake-up shower” in the underground lair would not be as peaceful as it seemed…
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Half an hour later, Raph , who had been lifting weights, sparring shadows, and yelling at pizza since he woke up, stood in front of the bathroom door, cross-armed and leg stomping on the ground.
It was his time in the bathroom schedule. It was his time to take a shower.He needed a shower. But somehow, someone took his time in there. And that someone who dared could be none other then one of his brothers.
The red-banded turtle glared at the door, the lovely smell of Leo's lavender soap coming from behind and hitting him.
Raph( knocking on the door): Hey, Leo! Stop hogging the shower, not everybody needs to purify their soul with lavender!
Donnie( from his lab, not looking up from his computer): It’s occupied.
He stepped closer and pressed his ear against the door, hearing a soft humming of a pop song. Leo would never sing in the shower.
He squinted at the door.
Raph( growled):…Mikey.I know it’s you. Singing ‘Shake it off’ in the shower again.I’ll suplex you into the tiles.
Donnie: Raph, You should wait-
BANG!
He kicked the door open like a SWAT team during an operation.
Steam floated like a dream.And there was April.Mid-shower.No towel.Nothing but horror and a shampoo bottle in her hand.
His soul left his body.
April blinked.
Raph blinked.
Raph( screaming, acide Green eyes wide):WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!
April: RAPH!
Raph: AAHHHHH—
April: WHY—ARE YOU—LIKE THIS?!
Raph: I CAN’T FEEL MY FACE—BUT MY EYES STILL WORK—WHY—
He screamed back like he was the victim here. His eyes bugged out, and he slapped both hands over his face while still staring through his fingers like a total idiot.
Raph(yelled): I didn’t know it was you!
Then April chucked a shampoo bottle at him with the force of Thor’s hammer.
BOOM.
Raph flew backwards into the hallway and hit the wall like a cartoon crash dummy.
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In the dojo, scented candles flickered , their scent flowing in the air.Leo, who meditating quietly at the base of the tree, heard the alarm and bolted into action.
Leo( internally):April must be under attack!
The leader in blue jumped from his place and sprinted down the hallway, into the steam, katanas out.
Then the steam cleared and saw.
Saw skin. So much skin.
Saw everything.
And right then, he turned bright crimson.
He made a noise no one should ever hear from a ninja.
Something between a gasp, a sob, and an anime nosebleed. Then...
Leo( yelling):I HAVE FAILED NINJITSU.
He backflipped out of the bathroom so fast he knocked over Mikey’s cereal tower.
Leo(still yelling):I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! I ONLY SAW ANKLES—AND OTHER THINGS—BUT MAINLY ANKLES—
April( desperately wrapping a towel around her): GET A DICTIONARY, LEO. THAT WASN’T ANKLE.
He dropped one of his katanas and gripped over it, falling backwards on the ground.
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In the lab, machines hummed softly and different buttons beeped occasionally. Donnie was at his desk, mechanical pen in hand, working on a blueprint for some improves for the ShellRaiser.
Donnie( to himself): Maybe If I use a lighter material for the doors, then maybe-
Then he heard screaming. Leo's scream. And most importantly, April's scream.
The purple banded turtle nearly flung his pen in the ceiling and knocked over his desk as he got up, his mind racing on one aspect: April was in danger.
He sprinted in, lab coat flapping, holding his bo staff, ready to defend the girl he loved.
Donnie( brownish-reddish eyes wide): April, what's happen—OH GOOD GANDHI—
He saw everything.
His eyes widened.
He dropped his bo staff.
Donnie: You’re… a perfect diagram of human musculoskeletal function…
Poor, sweet, logical Donnie. His brain probably registered her towel slipping as a threat to national security because he froze. Then blinked. Then promptly fainted.
Just thunk. Right to the floor. Like someone unplugged him.
April( concerned): Oh My God! Donnie, Are You Alright?
He let out a soft whimper.
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Mikey was doing tricks on his skateboard in the tunnel outside the entrance turnstiles, wearing sunglasses and sipping juice, when he also heard the screaming. He scratched the back of his neck and turned , jumping over the turnstiles and rolling to the bathroom...seeing his brothers sprawled around like broken toys.
Mikey: Hey guys, what's goin-
Instant tackle from Leo and Raph. Leo clamped his hands over Mikey’s eyes, Raph grabbed his arms, and they dragged him backward like a criminal in cuffs.
Raph (warned darkly):DON’T LOOK, MIKEY. IT’S NOT FOR INNOCENT MINDS.
Mikey (whined): But I wanna seeeee!
Leo:No you DON’T!
Raph:YA DON’T GET TO SEE ANYTHIN'.
Mikey: Is it a mutated sewer gator?
Leo:WORSE.
Mikey:Dudes! Rude! I didn’t even get a glimpse!
Leo and Raph( at the same time):EXACTLY!
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Casey, in the hallway, doing push-ups in sunglasses and singing “Smooth Criminal,” looked up at the noise. He casually strolled in, grabbed and slung his hockey stick over his shoulder, chewing gum.
Took one glance at chaos, then in the bathroom.
Tipped his cap.
Casey:Olé…
April (red-faced, dripping, holding a hairbrush like a weapon):I SWEAR ON EVERY TOOTHBRUSH IN THIS CITY—
Casey:This is the second-best thing I’ve seen today.
April( raising an eyebrow):What was the first?
Casey:You from the left side.
SMACK.SLAP.
ROUNDHOUSE.
DOOR SLAM.
Casey ended up wedged into the couch cushions, his mask spun backwards.
Casey( wheezed):Still… a masterpiece.
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Karai walked in right then, holding a teacup, completely unfazed.
She glanced at:
Screaming April with one towel half-on
Raph shaking Donnie by the shoulders
Leo facing the wall like a monk
Mikey being restrained with duct tape
Casey holding his cheek with a dumb grin
Karai blinked once , then looked at April.
Karai( taking a sip of tea): Nice body. Good genes.
April: THANK YOU BUT NOT THE TIME.
Karai turned to Casey.
Karai( eyes squinted like a hawk eyeing its prey): You.
Casey(still grinning): Me?
Karai: STOP. STARING. You're disgusting.
Casey: Gracias.
ROUNDHOUSE KICK.
BOOM.
Casey flew across the hallway, hit a clothes hamper, and got tangled in three pairs of Raph’s pants.
Casey (dazed): Still worth it…
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Later, after April didn't need to take a shower anymore there and the others were still recovering emotionally, a new sign appeared in the lair, written in lipstick and war paint, hanged near the bathroom door:
APRIL’S RULES OF THE SHOWER (BREAK THEM AND YOU DIE)
1. Knock.
2. Knock again.
3. Knock a third time because apparently you’re all goblins.
If You hear someone singing pop music, go away.
5. Do not open the door unless the door opens itself.
6. Casey is banned from commentary on anything wet.
Under these rules, she also wrote in giant red letters:
IF YOU SEE ME NAKED AGAIN, I BURN THE LAIR.
The turtles , Karai and Casey walked by and read the sign, thier reactions varying from shame to thrill.
Leo:I looked. My soul is unclean. I need twelve purifications.
Donnie (writing calculations in the air):Her bone structure was… scientifically marvelous…
Mikey ( now free, pouting): Man, I didn't even have the chance to see what happened.
Raph (sharpening a spoon angrily):I hate showers. I hate towels. I hate myself.
Casey (popping out from where he landed):Still. Totally. Worth it.
Karai (cracking her knuckles):Say it again, Jones. I dare you.
April( from the couch, rubbing her temples): I need a vacantion..
The End