Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“welcome back, zero, zero two...” The robotic voice greeted Caleb, his colonel uniform was a stark contrast to the pure white lab. The lab was sterile, as he remembered it. To Sylus the place was a foreign labyrinth of white halls. To Caleb it was all too familiar. Sylus was only somewhat aware of what they would find, but he didn't expect this under Charon. He expected a run down, dusty lab, that hadn't been touched in a decade, just like everything else in the N109 zone.

“Dimitri has been care taking this lab, far more carefully than I could have imagined.” Caleb said as they ran through the halls. Sylus looked at Calebs back, the red wing like accents of the uniform guiding them through unfamiliar halls. The place was like a labyrinth but Caleb seemed to remember it quite well despite the long distance of time since he had been here.

Their steps were in unison. Hurried and urgent, heavy with their sprint.

Caleb was in the N109 zone as sort of an emissary for the farspace fleet. Making shady deals with Onychinus, and it just happened to line up with MC's secret mission into this cursed lab. It wasn't a coincidence, but it was something that Sylus simply had to grit his teeth and accept. He would put up with anything, for Her.

If that meant giving Caleb a favor, and by extension, the Farspace fleet, resources and protocores, then so be it. The deal wasn't one sided, having the favor of the Fleet in the dark, could be valuable for Onychinus as well.

When she fell through the ground in the arena above, he had no choice but to turn to Caleb.

“How much further?” His voice did not echo in the hall like expected, as if the walls and floors absorbed sound. Was this by design?

“There.” Caleb responded in a simple and direct manner.

What the two men found, was Dimitri at the controls, shouting mad words, damning her existence. She was inside a transparent orb like chamber.

Sylus wasted no time, and his energy burst out in red and black,

“WAIT!” Caleb shouted only a moment too late, the energy piercing through the researcher.

The chamber, was already activated. Dimitri's hand limp against the controls as he vanished into Sylus' Evol as if devoured by the mist.

Caleb ran to the controls, pressing keys, and buttons trying to deactivate it but it failed to respond to him at all. A fail-safe that had always been hardwired into the facility. Not that being able to use the controls, would stop the cycle.

“Shit!” His usual calm facade was completely dropped. His expression was panicked. His head ached with flashbacks of the past. To their childhood here. He knew what was going to happen to her in there.
“we have to get her out of there-” He said with a tone of desperation.
Sylus attacked the chamber itself to no avail, his Evol, like hers, was rendered useless against it; Caleb knew better than to even try from his own experience. It could even make it worse if he did.

“Your Evol will just be used to power it.” He said to Sylus, prying at the barrier with his bare hands.

The room was lit by only the chamber, and emergency lights flashing warnings in red. They both stood helplessly beside the chamber looking at her inside gasping for air.

“Caleb! Sylus! You came...” She weakly said, tears streaked her face and she put her hands on the surface of the barrier between them. Caleb placed his hand on the surface to match her.
“M...”

“I- remember. Everything...I remember... this place... and you... Both of you...and you're here.. I'm one, and you're two...The chamber... I can't.. breath..”

“No... No! It can't end like this!” Sylus shouted, Looking between her, and Caleb. Seeking his rival for some kind of answer.

“There has to be- something, an override- or... Or-”

Sylus pounded the barrier with his energy and fists his own hands bloodying and staining the transparent glass-like material, his wounds, not healing like they normally would.

“Its okay... Its okay...I care.. about both of you... so much...” She soothed through the barrier.

“This can't be happening!” Sylus shouted to her, his voice lacked his usual reserved tone as Panic took his voice.

Caleb's reaction was starkly different. He stared at the chamber, frozen, shell shocked with trauma regurgitating up in his mind.

This scene had played out in front of him, dozens of times; hundreds, of times. His blood ran cold hearing her call his test subject number. She would resurrect. She WOULD. Her nose started bleeding and he reacted at the sight of her blood; putting his other hand on the warm barrier.

“Caleb?” She called to him, and it stopped Sylus' futile onslaught against the barrier.

“I'm here... I'm right here.. Just like before.” He said his voice quivering.

“I'm.. I'm scared.” Blood dripped from her nose, her ears, even eyes. She was degrading quickly. She slipped down the glass and he followed her down to the floor. His movement frantic, to stay close to her.

“One... its going to be okay... Its okay.. I'm here,” he glanced for only a second at Sylus, “We're here...”

“you were with me... at the beginning... and I'm glad.. you're here at the end too..” Each word gasping,

“It will just be like before... like... like always...” Caleb answered, he was sure of it.

“That is your thing right? You always come back-” Sylus said still standing, from beside the other,

“You're both- I love you both so...” she said gasping, her voice, was terribly weak, she couldn't finish the sentence, her eyes fluttered shut unable to hold them.

“My little apple... You wont remember that when you wake up but I'll-” A robotic voice interrupted him.

“Subject zero zero one, deceased, no vital signs detected. Pressure reading... Oxygen reading... Temperature... Energy reading... Extracting Core.” Alarmed the pair went rigid. Both knowing of her core.

“wait-! cease- Stop! Stop operations!” Caleb called to the AI; His voice cracked.

“Subject zero zero two, Command rejected, Not authorized.” The robotic voice responded. A robotic tendril reached through the floor, as if for a moment the world went silent and black, except for a high pitched ring in Calebs ears; the fragment, appeared in a hologram, and Caleb let out a silent scream as he witnessed something truly inhumane; his fist doubled with gravity, hitting the barrier hard enough to crack the synthetic material that made up the ground beneath it.

The barrier ignored his evol, and then it opened unceremoniously, and suddenly now done with its harvest. Her blood spilled out on the floor, around their boots, Caleb was hyper ventilating, and scrambled to lift her body

Sylus stared in shock. It had happened so fast. The way the other test subject, her life long companion, and now lover was reacting. It seemed like this wasn't the norm. The aethercore he had coveted was right there, but he never wanted this. He never wanted that core, not really. Caleb knelt in the blood, and lifted her body her blood staining his hands, and clothes as it poured out of her.

“Please.. Please... this time... Just this time...” Caleb pleaded. Her eyes were closed, as if she were sleeping, her bloodied face was beautiful. But there was no reaction to her resonance evol.

He couldn't sense it affecting him, or bursting like it would in the past. Sylus collected the vial that held the extracted core and looked at the colonel on the ground. And her. The love of his life. It hadn't sunk in yet. It was surreal.

The moment of grief, didn't last long. It was interrupted by a artificial voice.

“warning.. Major structural damage, detected. Imminent collapse likely. Please proceed to the exit.”

This message began playing, on loop, the voice becoming distorted with each loop.

“warniiiing- Major struuuuuuuctrual Damage-” as if on queue there was a terrible groan as the earth around the lab began to shift, as if the facility itself was dying with her.

“Caleb-” Sylus addressed urgently. He needed him to guide them out. He worried the other man had snapped too much. That Caleb would be too far gone to ever leave this place.

“Take her and lets get out of here.” He urged as his sense of self preservation kicked in. “please..” Caleb pleaded with her again, “Caleb! Do you want her buried here?” Sylus snapped at him, grabbing him by the arm, forcing him to his feet; It seemed to pull Caleb out of his grief for now, just enough from the abyss of loss.

Getting out was no simple task any longer, as debris crashed around them, Sylus instinctively protected them from falling concrete and rebar, as paths out collapsed in. “protect her!” Sylus shouted at him and Caleb held her close. His gravity Evol activating.

Sylus, cleared the path for them both as Caleb led them; with her in his arms; the men were chased by fire, and electrical arcs as the facility fell apart around them, gravity and energy working together to protect her body and their own lives.

Outside, Caleb laid her down, gently on a bench as if he was scared it would hurt her. He wrapped her in his uniform jacket, in some kind of futile attempt to keep her warm. They were both covered in dust, and Caleb, her blood. So much of it, he could feel his clothes sticking to him. His heart was beating rapidly with anger. EVER, Sylus, The association. Why was she even here? Why was she even prying into the past?

He had curated her life, gave her something to enjoy, to think about fondly as she recalled their childhood together. Not this sterile lab, that he remembered, not these horrible experiments, or her deaths; his life long efforts, all spoiled in the end. What else did she remember in these last moments?

Sylus knelt beside her, and Caleb flinched protectively as if guarding her corpse from him.

“I wouldn't harm her.” Sylus said cautiously, Caleb seemed to relent and let him get closer. The white haired man was waking up from what happened in front of his own eyes. Eyes wide, he gazed at her, hope pulling at his heart, that she would surge with resonant energy and wake up. That their link would manifest itself. But with the way the colonel was acting he knew, deep down, this wasn't how it went. Even if she didn't remember him or Caleb, a do over... anything was better than this.

How could this happen? She was so strong, she was fighting beside him. He reached up, and tenderly brushed her hair aside, her skin had cooled down. It no longer had the warmth of life and his hands quivered. This didn't feel real.

He stood and turned his back on her body, unable to bear the weight of seeing her any longer. Facing Caleb's who had stepped back and turned his back to him. He was standing there, with perfectly rigid posture; with a military stillness, his jaw, and fist tense.

Calebs head ached like it was splitting open, in waves, he could feel his blood pulse through his veins.

The place they stood, despite the gunfire, and explosions going off distantly, and desolate environment, seemed so quiet.

“What were you thinking? Letting her go into that lab alone?” Caleb snapped suddenly, whipping around and facing Sylus.

“Don't start.” Sylus responded trying to keep the fragments of his calm facade.

“you rule this place, you invited Farspace oversight. So here I am. Oversight. Watching her die in your city.”

“I didn't want this- I don't control what every man does in this place. That's the point. To live in the N109 zone means freedom. Not that a dog like you would get that-” Sylus snapped back.

There was a moment of silence as the air grew heavy and crackled with tension.

“You should have known this was a trap! A former EVER researcher running a big show under your nose-” Caleb growled at Sylus.

“And what about you colonel? The fleets watchdog? Big Farspace eyes and ears right? So tell me- why didn't YOU stop her?” He asked his voice was considerably calmer than the fracturing Colonel, but inside he was raging.

“Just admit that, this is your fault!” Caleb spat ignoring the others point; Sylus inwardly flinched at his words, his breath stuttering slightly. He didn't respond and Caleb kept going

“You run this whole fucking place. Every block, back alley, and data stream- and you let her walk into a death trap set by a madman. You helped her.” His voice cracked on his words as his emotions started to spike, and his headache worsened.

“She wanted to go... I wasn't going to stop her. She had the freedom to choose, and she chose.”

Calebs fist slammed into a metallic beam; Metal, striking metal, the “flesh” of his arm flickering and exposing his intricate cybernetic metal hand; Sylus flinched lightly, sort of startled by the sound. Maybe it wasn't just the Colonel fracturing.

“You let her choose and she's dead! Sylus! And we were both right there!” The deep metallic tone through the beam continued to ring like a tuning fork, under the force of the strike; Calebs raw voice echoed through the broken zone at the same time. The resonating noise filled the silence between them before it stopped.

Sylus didn't move, or shout, or even argue; he just looks at the shattered colonel in front of him. Stripped of his calm demeanor, he couldn't hear his desire, like he could with normal men. It was like trying to hear a voice in dead static on television. Sylus found this, unsettling. His red eye glinted in the dark for a moment and looked away. He was welling with guilt. They both were. Was this his fault? If the researcher was alive, would that have saved her?

“Why didn't you try harder?” Sylus finally snapped back his tone heavy, and accusing, his voice quivered ever so slightly.

A storm brewed, between the two. Guilt, fury, grief, a powder keg of emotions between the two ignited and ready to burst. They were now within arms reach of each other.

“I-” Caleb started but Sylus interrupted him “Get down!” He commanded with urgency, and grabbed the other by the back of the head and forced him to duck, a bullet whizzed past into concrete, kicking up dust as it struck.

There was a moment of stillness as Caleb jerked away from Sylus' hand and then gunfire lit up the ground; Raiders, or looters, those that fed on the aftermath of the games, it was unclear who exactly; but they were reckless and armed. Sylus clicked his tongue in distaste;

Caleb drew his standard issue gun, but he was brewing with unchecked anger. He didn't wait for Sylus, or even check the others plan with a glance, blindly going in for cover, and taking out two of their attackers with his Evol, their bodies crushed by pressure. Bullets that attempted to reach Caleb, halting, though not all, some of higher caliber and faster as projectiles, hitting stone and concrete near him.

“Goddamn military types” Sylus muttered covering Caleb, and using his energy to collect her body and heave her over his shoulder, as the pair of broken men retreated; Caleb fought like he had nothing left to lose, reckless, untamed, undisciplined. Bullets grazed him, in the arm, the cheek, the leg.

“Cover your own ass colonel!” Sylus snapped as he readjusted her, she was heavier dead than alive.

“Like you care” Caleb defiantly retorted. He was like an petulant child. Right as he said this though, some kind of hollow-like noise followed by a blast hit near him, one of the raiders had a modified launcher; it had missed and hit a wall near Caleb sending shrapnel across his back and side; he let out a guttural pained grunt, he grit his teeth, and dropped hard as blood hit the concrete. Sylus could hear the splatter.

“Damn!” Sylus cursed, His gaze lingered on the man, still on his knees, still fighting, open to attack, bullets frozen around him. He could leave him for dead, no one would know, the Farspace Fleet might reach out and snoop around, maybe even search for the body to reclaim their property... but he could settle with them easily he was sure of it.
He glanced at her, “if anything happens.. promise me...” her words haunted him.

He grit his teeth; he set her body gently down in the alley he had used as cover, tucked away by some debris. He caressed her cold face tenderly tucking her hair back. The association would be coming to collect her eventually; he could send Luke and Kieran to move her where she would be easier to find. He took the colonels coat back, and turned carving a path to his fallen rival. Back to the man that took her from him.

Caleb was half conscious, bleeding heavily and weakly trying to push himself up. He wanted to die, but he wouldn't die without pride. A black tendril looped around him forcing him to his feet, spreading over his clothes into his wounds to curb the bleeding. He hissed through his teeth and then felt a jacket over him and a shoulder under his arm, a firm grip on his wrist.

“Leave me alone!” Caleb protested trying to pull away, his voice lacked bite and his movement lacked force both laced with too much pain.

“If it wasn't for her I would have left you here. But that's not what she wanted.” Sylus said, before Caleb could say a word they vanished, into an abandoned building right behind them, using his dark mist as cover. Making it seem as if he disappeared off the street itself.

He guided caleb through the building along some steps down, into an exit tunnel.

“You're a fool. Just like her. You're probably who she got it from.” Sylus chided, the other man was heavy, and dragging his feet; Sylus tried to adjust him only for Caleb to force himself away and destabilize him, Sylus stumbled back slightly catching himself, as Caleb shoved him off.

“I don't care if I die here-” Caleb said sinking to the floor without Sylus' support holding him up, blood dotted the floor beneath him, and Sylus grit his teeth in annoyance.

“Well this isn't about your feelings or what you want. It's about what she wanted.” He scolded using the black mist to forcefully lift Caleb to his feet and shoulder his weight again.

“Stop acting like a child. We're going back to my headquarters.”” his tone had a bitterness but also a sense of authority. His words left no option but Caleb struggled against him, so Sylus instead shifted his weight and lifted him, completely off the ground over his shoulder.

“Stop! Just leave me here. There no point- in anything!” Caleb fought his voice was desperate, the heat of his blood seeped through Sylus' clothes, but the white haired man had enough. He jabbed his fingers hard into the wounds on Caleb's side causing him to wince in pain, his body tensing on Sylus shoulders.

“She requested this. Why she asked me of all people? I have no idea, but when it comes to what you want versus what she wants... wanted... You are always going to be second. Number two.” He growled. His voice was slightly labored from Calebs weight and with that he carried him.

-

In the medbay of one of Onychinus's bases, he dumped the other barely conscious man onto a medical table and went to a supply cabinet; He might have been in good shape but carrying a man as big as Caleb along with his cybernetic limb, was taxing even with his own Evol assisting him.

Caleb felt sluggish, everything was too bright, too dark. His head, felt like it was bursting open from the inside. He wanted to bring his hand up to cover his eyes and shield them from the lights but his body wasn't responding. The room was spinning.

Sylus tossed the blood stained jacket aside. Caleb was phasing in and out of consciousness, watching the others blood soaked back, his breathing was uneven and slightly labored.

His blame towards Sylus was still simmering but his blood loss and pain was dulling his rage and had taken the fight out of him. In normal circumstances, he might have been grateful towards Sylus.

His uniform was torn, his side stitched with fragments of shrapnel. It looked bad. Sylus returned to him and looked down at him; his red eyes judging his state, and assessing him.

He wasn't doing well, he looked sort of pale, his breathing was ragged, his uniform was shredded where he was hit. He placed the supplies on the low table. He was covered in Calebs blood.

Unlike Caleb his own rage was hot, and fresh and it wasn't dulled by pain only exhaustion. He grabbed the other by the tie and roughly loosened it, tossing it carelessly onto the bloodied jacket. He didn't have time to summon a doctor either. He would have to deal with his wounds, himself.

He didn't want to keep him alive. He could barely stand to even look at him, but a sense of obligation and maybe even guilt was driving him.

Neither said anything as he jabbed an IV into his flesh arm and roughly treated him, extracting shrapnel, and dropping them onto a metallic plate. He didn't wait for the pain medication to take effect. Each wound earning a weak noise from Caleb until the pain started to dull.

The silence was heavy between them. The sound of metal clinking as Sylus dropped the shards onto a metal tray, and a hum tech in the room, and Calebs sounds of pain.

“Why did you bring me here.” Caleb finally said his weak voice was tense with physical pain. It was accusatory, hardly even a question. He couldn't stand the weight of the silence anymore; the pain was lessening as the pain medication was taking hold of him, but now it was making his emotions sharper.

“you're welcome.” Sylus responded curtly, throwing the tweezers on the tray with the shrapnel.

“Sit still” he ordered and Caleb actually obeyed him. He shook a can and sprayed nano's and alcohol, into the wounds and Caleb hissed. His mannerisms were so similar to hers even the way she expressed pain was copy of Caleb. He sprayed another round of nano's over the wounds and Calebs eyes rolled into the back of his head.

“hey..” Sylus called to him, He needed him to stay awake a little longer.
“She's gone...” He weakly stated. His final words. His blood pulsed slow through his veins from the dropping pressure, his headache, felt as if his own brain was splitting in half.

“hey!” Sylus called to him again but the military dog had passed out completely on the table.

“Damn!”

-

For days, Sylus checked on and tended the Colonel, himself. Caleb was a high profile guest, after all. He wasn't waking up.

He had ordered Luke and Kieran to move her body beyond the zone for the association to find her. Her friends deserved closure. She didn't need to be another missing number that disappeared into N109 zone.

He had an actual doctor come and assess Caleb as well, under his watch, naturally. One that specialized in cybernetics. They might have even been a madman too, this one he vaguely trusted. They told him there was some kind of damaged chip, in him, that his arm was functional, but that chip was damaged recently, and they had spent an entire 24 hours, extracting it, after studying it, He had learned of its regulatory, functions. That it may, destabilize Calebs personality even more now that it was removed.

Sylus had his own way of facing his grief, an entire room completely destroyed the walls cracked and windows blown out from the force of his grief.

A symbol of the wreckage of her absence, which was enormous. It left a hole, in him a pain as if his heart had been pierced through. Her aether core, set upon a pedestal in the most secure location the base had to offer. He would sit and gaze at it for hours.

To try to distract from his loss, he kept himself busy at times. He felt a certain, apprehensiveness that Caleb would die here too. He had to keep his promise to her. Caleb had to live. He cleaned Caleb, dressed him, fed him, and held him up to drink, changed his bandages.
Nano's could only accelerate healing, not instantly fix flesh. Still he slept. Then finally, on the 5th day, when he was sitting on a sofa in the same room, cleaning a gun, he heard him make a noise and shift.

“where-...” Caleb muttered, he turned his head, his purple eyes fell on Sylus, and he blearily tried to make sense of his surroundings. He sat up feeling something foreign shift in his arm, following his instinct, he ripped out the IV with a pang of panic, and sat up. Staggering to his feet only to stumble over into the sofa by Sylus;

The clothes and the room, was all unfamiliar. It was like a weight was gone from his head. The headache, had stopped.

“stop moving around, You'll make your injuries open. You two are so similar that it's kind of annoying.” Sylus said in an even tone. He put the pieces of the gun down and stood, grabbing a bottle of water from a cooler, and bringing it over, setting it in front of Caleb; who collected it without thanks.

“You should have just left me to die.” Caleb said weakly, glancing away, his voice was broken, and raspy, but he was reorienting well. Sylus defensively crossed his arms. No sympathy in his eyes or his body language. Just exhaustion and buried rage.

“From what I can see. You don't want to die.” Sylus retorted gesturing at the water in his hands.

“Besides.” he continued “She didn't want that. She told me that if something ever happened to her, to stop you from breaking yourself.” He said looking away from Caleb jealously and crossed his arms the otherway.

“She told you a lot of things huh?” Caleb responded bitterly his eyes stung but even in his grief, his pride was stronger than his will to die. He wouldn't allow the other to see his tears.

“Built a bond on my grave? Made yourself indispensable?” He added unable to leave it alone, his voice started out low, but his words grew louder,

“I trusted you with her, because SHE trusted you, and you let her die!” it ended in a shout, Caleb flinched at his own words, confused by the intensity of his own reaction.

Sylus' patience, was not endless. He had been taking care of him for a week, only for their argument to immediately resurface with no gratitude. He finally snapped.

“What about you!? Where were you? Her watchdog? Her guardian? You think I don't know about the numerous trackers and ways you kept your eyes on her? You think you're the only one who watched her?” He huffed his blood was boiling,

“When you died-” Sylus attempted to continue but his words were cut off,

“I was gone not dead” Caleb annoyingly corrected.

“Well the whole world thought you were dead. Including her. You were gone, and when I met her, and I was the one that was here to there to pick up the pieces, and put them back together. You think she was okay after you vanished?” Sylus' voice was low, and accusatory, Caleb faltered at the others anger. At the suggestion that, he had hurt her so deeply to push her into another mans arms. His breath caught. He had, expected her to move on with her life, but he had never imagined finding her infiltrating the Fleet.

She was safer knowing he was dead, than alive at the time. But now- His thoughts were interrupted by Sylus, his eyes snapping to meet Sylus' fury filled ones above him.

“She couldn't breath. She couldn't sleep, she wouldn't eat. I was the one that held her with every breakdown, Caleb. ME. Not you.” He said, huffing, looming over Caleb.

“and what you thought you could replace me?” Caleb asked coldly.

“No. I thought I could help her survive you.” Sylus said tensely. His heart was beating hard, his face was hot. A silence grew between them.

“...All that, and yet she still chose to come back to me.” Caleb said, a touch of gloating, and triumph in his voice over Sylus. His words cut deep. These words were the match that lit the spilling gasoline of their years long rivalry. A fist met Calebs Jaw cracking a sound against the quiet hum of the machinery in the room, not evol, or a weapon, just raw flesh against flesh.

“You took her from me twice!” Sylus shouted, “Once when when you came back, and now look whats happened because of you-” Sylus struck him again, the colonel reacting only fast enough to lessen the second blow.

“She wouldn't have even been investigating her past if you didn't get caught up in this... This corporate bullshit!” A third attempt to strike Caleb, Sylus raised his fist. His knee against the couch partly pinning Caleb with his other hand. He was going to kill this ungrateful, suicidal bastard with his bare hands.

Caleb reacted grabbing Sylus by the arm, and rolling them both, his own fist meeting Sylus' jaw as he pushed him into the sofa, returning the favor. The water knocked over and spilling onto the floor.

There was a scuffle, Sylus grabbing him by the middle, and they both ended up on the floor before they scrambled to their feet breaking free from one another. Their eyes met and they both panted heavily in anger, before they exchanged blows again, hitting one another equally.

Caleb's military trained movements, grappling Sylus' dirty street-born fighting style. There was no wasted movement on either of their parts. They grabbed one another, trying to get the upper-hand and get the flow of the fight in their favor. They crashed into medical crates, sending supplies scattering across the floors tipping and shoving furniture and destroying antiques.

Sylus grabbed Caleb by the t-shirt he dressed him in, and Caleb grabbing Sylus by his suit shirt, the high quality fabric tearing under the strain.

Sylus delivered a jab into Calebs treated wounds, causing him to double and wince in pain. He hooked his arm around Calebs neck and squeezed with death as his intention, only for Caleb to sink his teeth into his skin, Sylus' blood filled his mouth and Sylus hissed through his teeth and released him.

Caleb stumbling forward, they stalled and stared at one another for a moment as blood dripped down Sylus' Elbow his hands raised in a posture that was ready to strike.

Sylus dodged back and then lunged with a fist using the small distance to earn momentum, Caleb faltered as he saw the move that he had seen MC perform dozens of times when they play fought and battled side by side. Fighting Sylus felt like fighting her; Sylus was mirroring his thoughts, fighting Caleb, was like fighting her. It chipped away at both of their wills to fight.

Sylus took the moment of hesitation and destabilized Caleb, both crashing to the floor.

The fight wasn't a fair one, not really. Caleb was injured after all, his wounds reopened. Blood painting the expensive flooring. He was running on fumes and adrenaline against Sylus, only having freshly woken up.

They rolled together on the floor, Caleb was skilled at grappling, and Sylus skilled in mixed fighting styles; until sylus pinned him, finally his hips pressing down to keep him still. He looked down at Caleb. He had pinned her down like this dozens of times when they trained and played together. The way Caleb moved was the way she moved. Her weaknesses in her fighting style, was Calebs weaknesses. It pissed him off.

Both men were exhausted and out of breath. Sweat and blood dripped down Sylus' temple onto Calebs cut cheek that his blows had reopened, stinging his wounds. Hatred burned in his eyes, locked onto Calebs lightless tyrian purple eyes his emotions numbed by pain and exhaustion.

Sylus' hands were held around his throat; At his win his desire for his blood was held back by her voice in his head begging for his promise to her.

When Caleb had come back, her attention had shifted away from Sylus. Calebs return was their relationships undoing, it was never the same, they had ended up in some kind of, uncomfortable sharing. When caleb wasn't on an expedition she stayed with him, when he was gone, she was here. In Onychinus HQ. Neither man liked the arrangement. Merely tolerating it out of their unending well of love for her. She didn't abandon him, the way Caleb abandoned her. He pined for her, and it burned him up to see her in his arms.

Each hated the other, for how deeply she loved them, and how much the other loved her. How could he, compete, with Caleb? This man that was her life long companion, knew her every detail, took care of her, fed her, grew up with her.

From Calebs perspective Sylus was the one she chose, rather than ended up with like himself he barely had her in the first place. She had been in both of their beds, and they hated each other for it.

Sylus gazed down at this shell of a man, that she loved so dearly, and Caleb gazed back. She spoke of Caleb, so often, while he was gone, and then even more when he came back, and she spoke of Sylus, so often, when he had come back.

Their hearts beating hard in their chests. Sylus thought of biting out his throat. He could do what he always imagined. There was no one left in the world that cared if he did it.

He hated him so much, that it wasn't just personal. It was intimate.

“Just do it.” Caleb whispered breathlessly, Sylus squeezed warningly, listening to his air get cut off. He could feel his body tense beneath his pin.

“You undid the life I built with her.” Sylus' voice quivered. Caleb struggled, digging his nails into Sylus' arms, before Sylus let up releasing him, and he gasped for air,

“Do you think you're the only one, that lost something in that Lab? You won't undo my promise to her. Not when that's all I have left now.” Sylus said his voice was quiet, quivering. Caleb, was that promise.

Sylus, looked back down at Caleb, Caleb at him, overwhelmed by the grief-fueled twisted moment.

Their mouths met one another, who had leaned for it first was unclear. It was a mutual devouring of the other. Caleb gripped Sylus' wrist, and Sylus gripped his in return. Their tongues fought for dominance. The taste of Sylus' blood still in Calebs mouth shared between them. It was confusing, and full of passion born from their twisted rivalry and hatred. Sylus grabbed him by the jaw with his other hand, and bit him on the lip suddenly, hard enough to scar.

Caleb winced tears that had formed at the corner of his eyes from pain during the fight, was too adrenaline fueled to feel dripped from the corner of his eyes.

“Fuck-” Caleb protested before Sylus suddenly shoved himself away from him. Their kiss broken both men turning their heads away from one another. Sylus eyes flickering with confusion and complex emotions. Both panting and saying nothing. Calebs blood on both their lips.

The fight had left the Colonel. He laid back on the floor, hiding his face in his elbow as he cried silently beneath Sylus, with soft uneven gasps.

Of course Caleb understood, he wasn't the only one who was feeling grief of loss. He felt the weight of the other shift off him; He uncovered his eyes, and he sat up with some effort, his wounds aching. He looked up at Sylus who now stood over him. He held his hand out to Caleb and he ignored it, pushing his gesture of a truce aside, getting up on his own.

“Your wounds.” Sylus said not looking at him, but gesturing to the blood staining the shirt he was wearing.

“Remove it. I'll bring you a new one after I tend to your wounds again.” Caleb hesitated slightly, his emotions running a million miles a second. Grief, loss, hatred, fury, confusion, his pride was hurt for losing to Sylus in their scuffle and then to be dominated like that. It was all too much, he went through the motions and did as Sylus ordered and took the shirt off.

“Sit and I'll apply the Nano spray again.” Sylus said pushing scattered supplies around with his foot to make a path, and Caleb went to the table, sitting on it tossing the dirty torn shirt to the ground.

Sylus unwrapped his bandages on Calebs middle, and wiped the wound clean with a saline wetted rag. He had gotten rather good at dressing these injuries, in recent days. He shook the can, out of view, it sounded similar to a spray paint can. Caleb hissed slightly as the alcohol met the wound, his hand gripped the table's edge.

“Your mannerisms, really are similar.” Sylus said airily, from behind him as he prepared to wrap the wound in fresh bandages. There was a drawn out silence, as Sylus bandaged him and then paused, his fingers brushing against Calebs skin as he examined the wounds for a moment. His hesitations as he dressed the wounds, apparent.

“I should be by her side.” Caleb said in a numb voice. Sylus leaned closer, pressing a finger intentionally against one of the wounds through the bandage, causing Caleb to wince again.

“Death, isn't a Loyalty. Its a betrayal of her Love.” Sylus said quietly, his voice was tense.

“Easy for you to say.” He snapped bitterly lightly trying to pull away from the pain. Sylus had the entire city and Onychinus.

Sylus' low, sharp voice sounded into his ear, as he leaned even closer, “I stayed by her side. And now I have to stay by yours. Five days, Colonel. That's how long you stayed unconscious. You abandoned her first. Remember that.”

Calebs voice broke on his words “You should have let me just die.”

“Tch- You're like a broken record. That would have been the easy way out. But not for me. I won't dishonor her memory. She chose me for this.” He said venomously.

“You think she really chose you? you're a left over that couldn't let go.” Caleb spat at Sylus.

Sylus pressed the bandage harder still, intentionally digging into the wounds. Earning a gasp of pain out of Caleb, before he slammed down the gauze on the table furiously.

“and here you are. Bleeding on my table, because you don't have the sense to keep yourself alive without me.”
Caleb shoved Sylus' hands aside, sick of his jabbing and the conversation, and forced distance between them.

“Get out of my sight. I can finish it myself.” Caleb snarled. He had nothing to argue against him with. What he wanted was illogical. She was gone. He was still here. He had fought with these tendencies, his entire life. She was his only attachment to this world.

He refused to even look at the other man. Sylus stepped back, fist trembling. The two had already fought once. His mind flickered to that kiss and he buried it immediately. He lingered for only a moment, and then masked his feelings with cold detachment.

“I really don't think you can, nor can you even be trusted to, if you could. But Fine. Rot for all I care.” He said flatly to him walking out of the room and slamming the door on his way out. Leaving the wounds half dressed.

He paused on the other side of the door and ran his hands through his hair, stressed. He was right to be apprehensive before Caleb woke up. He knew this fight would continue.

He had expected that. What he didn't expect, was that it would be so.. personal. Nor that he would see a ghost of her in him like this.
That he would smell and recognize, Calebs personal scent, that he had grown so familiar with on her; all this time he had never realized that was Caleb. The subtle movements, their mannerisms, the way he fought and their stubbornness. Even the intonation of the way he spoke and argued, his foolishness. 

With Sylus out of the room, Caleb leaned back on the table and covered his eyes. Fighting his grief that cut deeper than his anger. He licked his blood off his lip, which stung. It was definitely going to scar. A mark that would forever remind him of this moment.

Chapter Text

Left alone in the room Caleb had the privacy to mourn in silence. More than mourning, he spiraled.

His heart ached with immense despair.

There was no familiar headache, no numbing of his emotions, no sense of the chip crawling through his brain and plucking each memory out like a string of lights going dark one by one. Everything felt unusually magnified; still unaware of the extraction that had been performed on him during his 5 days of unconsciousness.

His breath rate increased as he felt frustration with himself, and he stood, grabbing gauze that Sylus had slammed down. He twisted slightly trying to look at his wounds only for them to be just out of sight and burn with his flexing movement.

He really couldn't do it on his own. His fist clenched around the gauze it in his hands as he thought of the image of her in the glass cage. He fought his tears, his body tensing.

His despair for his failure and for his loss, his rage at himself. If he had been faster, if he had accompanied her instead of Sylus, if he had done his mission in Farspace Fleet better, then find out what EVER was up to. He knew she was snooping around. He should have told her not to. Would she have even listened?

If he had never let her leave his side again. If he had kept her locked away in Skyhaven.

The air felt too thin, his lungs refused to fill. He dragged in a ragged gasp of air each breath shallow and rapid. His ears rang, as he fell into the abyss of his own emotions. His own rapidly beating heart drowning out everything.

He slammed his closed fist into the table, the pain resonated up his arm, and the scattered supplies and broken items quivered and began drifting erratically from the ground as his gravity evol activated spiraling out of control with his emotions; as if the room itself was coming apart with him.

He had grown used to being able to control himself and be reserved.
Empty.
Emotionless.

How he was ashamed, and humiliated at his loss of control. More than he had ever felt in his life. The more he grasped for that emptiness, for that numbness, the more desperate he felt, spiraling himself until he was hyperventilating.

A small sane part of him realized he couldn't stop this panic and grief, which was no longer only emotional but physical.

He leaned back on the table and put his head in his hands trying to hold himself together and failing. His tears spilling, it wasn't stopping. The scattered supplies trembled and clattered across the floor as his Evol affected the room, raising and shifting discordantly in waves.

“stop- Just stop-” he breathed out loud to himself.

But the tears did not stop.

His body would not stop.

His evol, did not stop.

The door opened slightly and, Sylus was a little shocked to find this scene. With Calebs back to the door, he was unnoticed.
For a second he watched the other breaking down, and quietly decided it was best, to just say nothing. A part of him, wanted to reach out to Caleb but he denied that, they weren't on good terms like that.

He set clean clothes on the edge of the counter near the door. They were his own clothes but he figured they might fit Caleb. Hell. Caleb might have even been more built than himself, strength wise. If he hadn't been hurt already, and fought dirtier, he might have even won that scrap based on pure physical strength alone.

He closed the door and gave the other man space and privacy to grieve. He was no better, he thought, as he passed through the silent halls of his headquarters. He had his own breakdown, he had lashed out the same. The destruction he had left behind a symbol of the emptiness she had left behind in his heart.

He paused in front of the door to her room. She stayed in his room, usually, but she had chosen this room as her own too. He placed his hand on the wood and rested his forehead here. He didn't have the bravery to go inside. He half expected, if he opened the door, she would be sitting there on a sofa, playing with her guns or some protocores, or a game.
But he knew it wouldn't be so.

-

Hours had passed, and Caleb stirred, groaning in his sleep. His body was tired, he felt sluggish. Warm hands caressed his injuries. He could feel salve and then the tightness of a bandage over them.

“M...?” He muttered calling her, disoriented. The hands paused and then the warmth withdrew.

“I'm sorry to disappoint.” a deep male tone said softly.

“Sylus...” Caleb said recognizing him. He was back at it again despite their fight. He didn't attack him, if he insisted on tending his wounds then so be it. Sensing a bit of relenting Sylus' hands which had hesitated, returned to wrapping him. A heavy silence grew between them. So Sylus filled the silence.

“Nano skin is fragile and has a time-limited lifespan so it needs reapplied at least once a day. Luckily none of the shrapnel went irretrievably deep. But. This should be enough for now. Try to be more careful.” He placed the half used roll of gauze on the table, and Caleb sat up. The room had been tidied up. Boxes returned to where they were meant to be, antiques, unbroken, Supplies cleaned up.

“Remind me who hit who first?” Caleb asked wearily. He turned his head and looked at Sylus as he started to talk again. Sylus completely ignored his remark.

“I also felt I should tell you, that while you were unconscious, I had a doctor come. One that's skilled in cybernetics, and bionics” Sylus watched Caleb trying to read his expression.

“What we found was, a chip that had malfunctioned was implanted in you. He felt that it was best for your survival, to remove.”

“The toring chip?” Caleb interrupted, glancing forward at the floor his eyes flickering back and forth rapidly as he thought about this information. His heart leapt from his chest. The chip was gone?

“ah.. haha” He laid back on the table covering his face with his arm to shield his eyes from the light, chuckling airly, his laugh was involuntary. Maybe a little eerie.

“they tried to make me a dog and that chip was my leash.” Even if the chip was working, he was sure it wouldn't have been effective enough to settle his severe emotions.

“...the doctor also mentioned, there might be some.. side effects, like withdrawals, you might feel unstable. That kind of thing; since it only stopped working recently.” Sylus said, gesturing vaguely in Calebs direction, before he moved towards the door. The doctor had told him, Calebs immense emotional reaction may have been what destroyed it.

“I've always been unstable.” Caleb said rubbing his false arm that was still covering his face. Sylus gazed at him not entirely sure how to reply. Taken back by the honesty of his statement.

“I've left some clothes for you, so you don't have to just wear a t-shirt and gym shorts. But you can't leave until I can trust you to survive. I intend to keep the Promise I made.” Sylus said with a firmness to his voice, looking away.

Calebs jaw tensed and he lowered his arm, carefully sitting up feeling the treatment tugging at his wounds; an issue with nano skin was that it was rather inflexible after it took.

“So... what?” his voice full of contempt. “Farspace had their chip, and now you have your prison? I'm just trading an old leash for a new one. Some promise.”

Sylus paused at the doorway, nothing he could say would not be an argument.

“I'm not your leash. Colonel. I'm the reason you're still alive.” to which Caleb barked out a humorless laugh,

“Alive? To do what? I can't build the life I planned with her. Do you expect me to just sit here and rot under your watch like some kind of injured animal?”

Sylus' shoulders were tense as he placed his hand on the door frame. still not turning back to look at him. The lack of eye contact frustrated Caleb.

“Stay. Heal. Tear yourself apart trying to run.” He said, his mind flickering back to the image of Calebs breakdown. “I don't care, but you will not be leaving Onychinus property. You will not be throwing yourself into a grave that she herself, told me, that she didn't want.”

“I won't be staying.” Caleb defied, his voice tense with his swelling frustration.

“With those wounds I'd like to see you try.” Sylus retorted almost immediately before he stepped out finally closing the door behind him, leaving Caleb alone to fume.

---

With pain tethering him, he didn't fight. Pain was exhausting. Mentally and physically.

He did get dressed in the clean clothes Sylus brought him and looked at himself in a mirror. They weren't half bad, but the clothes felt foreign on his body. It was tailored for Sylus but their height and size was similar and they fit surprisingly well. Though, when he wasn't dressed for duty his personal taste was less formal and more casual than the sharp style of the gangster boss.

The simple act of getting dressed took whatever energy he had, out of him; He found himself laying on the sofa in the room exhausted by the pain and he stayed put, just dozing on the sofa and recovering.

Just like that, for the next week this is where and how he spent his days. He would wake up food would be waiting. He would eat room temp meals, doze again fading in and out. It was getting boring for him though.

Sleeping healing and pacing.
He was feeling pretty confined by his situation. It irritated him but with his wounds, there was no way he could easily make his exit or fight his way out, or even go back to normal operations with the Fleet.

But staying put in a single room no matter how big and well furnished it might be, was only compounding his feelings of confinement. He really was like an injured trapped animal.

Caleb had gotten used to his position as a Colonel and being able to go where he liked when he liked; to be in charge and have others cater to his every whim; now he was owing some kind of obedience and gratitude to his rival.

Despite his defiant urge the two had slipped into a routine together. Sylus expected Caleb to push back more, but he seemed compliant, for now.

Caleb allowed him to dress his wounds without a fight, some days they snipped at one another, others it was just silence.  The wounds were healing well. Sylus had his uniform tailored and repaired, and bought him new clothes that would be more comfortable on the bandages. 

At the end of the week Sylus finished bandaging him, and broke the silence that usually rested between them.

“I realize you're probably feeling a bit confined, so if you like, you're welcome to explore the base. But you still can't leave.”

“you're so gracious in letting me leave my cage. Boss.” Caleb mocked sarcastically as he felt a tinge of irritation. Did sylus think he needed his permission?

“well if you don't like the idea you can just stay in here too.” Sylus said nonchalantly poking at him a little.

Caleb glanced at him and he got up and went to the door, testing Sylus' permission. But he hesitated, a certain uncharacteristic nervousness lingered in him about leaving the room and it needled at his pride. Would the place be swarming with members of Onychinus? Would Sylus try to stop him?

There was a significant amount of tension between Onychinus and the Farspace Fleet despite his little trip to negotiate with the organization.

What Caleb found was that the halls were remarkably empty. Where were the Onychinus personnel? Or his pet?

Did Sylus send them away? That had to be the only reason. Was he protecting them? Or him? He glanced at Sylus who followed him into the hall.

The solitude other than Sylus' presence let him relax somewhat though. As he moved slowly and navigated the unfamiliar halls. The décor, wasn't anything to call home about. He much preferred the modern minimalist aesthetics of his quarters and his home in Skyhaven. There were things that stood out to him here; things that, she must have chosen, things that were, out of place in this mausoleum of a residence. He paused looking at a crow plush next to a vase on a pedestal.


He reached out to pick it up, but there was a tell tale snap of evol and a hand closed firmly around his wrist from black mist. He could smell Sylus' cologne, and the body heat between the space of Sylus' chest and his back.

He was too late to stop him though, he grabbed him just as Calebs fingertips brushed it, the plush destabilized and started to fall but the warped sound of his gravity snapped and the plush floated gently in the air unharmed.

Sylus let go of him and Caleb took a step back, drawing the plush up between them raising a brow as he did. Sylus wore a somewhat sheepish expression, pretending like it never happened in the first place. A new emotion in his annoying, always cool bossman demeanor; king of nonchalance and constant unending abyss of contempt.

“feeling protective over the toy?” Caleb poked, wanting another new expression from him.

“Of course not. I was worried about the vase.” Sylus said looking him in the eye, his face was straight, his words were convincing, but the lie was apparent. His hand had reached for the toy and Caleb pulled the crow from his reach manipulating its gravity.

“Just the vase then?” Caleb said questioning his response still jabbing at Sylus,

“yes-” He said his voice exerted as he tried to grab the plush again, only for Caleb to keep pulling it away. Leading him only to drop or raise the plush out of his reach. It was like playing with a big cat.

He let out a soft laugh as he caught the plush in his own hand, his still healing split-lip from Sylus biting him stung slightly as the wound stretched in his small smile. He held it away from Sylus who conceded and took a step back out of his personal space again giving a slight roll of his eyes at the game.

It's fuzzy texture was pleasant under Calebs fingertips and he held it gently.

His one sided amusement died quickly as he thought of her, his expression rapidly shifting.
She loved plush toys, but they were conditional. They always had to be ones they got together. They must have gone out together often. 

“She loved these kind of things...” He said quietly, and Sylus glanced at him, at the dead, empty expression on his face.

“You should see how many are in her room here.” Sylus responded after a moment, Caleb held the plush out to the other man, who took it from him; their fingers brushing as it was passed over.

“She has a whole collection back in Skyhaven as well.” Caleb responded as Sylus placed the plush back on the pedestal with the vase. A memory of her he wasn't willing to let go yet.

“she put him here, and said, 'when mephisto's not here he can guard the hallway'” He explained. He didn't owe an explanation but he couldn't help himself but share the memory of that moment with him.

“Well. He has a very important job then.” Caleb muttered, a hint of tenderness to his words. He looked away from Sylus. He hated acknowledging her time here. When he was busy with Farspace, she was staying here. On business or leisure, as a friend, or more. He told her, it was okay, she had his permission, and she has Sylus' permission the other way around, but there were times he felt he only had half her heart.

It made him insanely jealous, something he had always kept hidden from her. He shook his head trying to shake the emotions.
“So.. I'm free to roam but with you watching me?” Caleb said going back to poking at Sylus a little trying to distract himself.

“I'll admit, making sure you don't do anything you shouldn't, has become a bit of a habit lately.” Sylus admitted pointedly emphasizing his words, before continuing, “Would you like me to show you around?”

“Just to the kitchen.” Caleb answered immediately.

“How straight forward. I suppose your meal is late.” Sylus said walking past him and gesturing for him to follow. Caleb furrowed his brow not enjoying the commanding gesture but followed him anyways falling in step beside him rather than trailing after him.

“how do you know what time it is when it's so dark all the time? And how do you know when I ate last?” Caleb questioned as they passed a darkened window.

“I use a clock.” Sylus responded simply, with a hint of amusement in his tone, now it was his turn to poke at the Colonel. “as for the other thing.. Do you think the chef has been the one serving you?”

Caleb paused in a step or two, letting Sylus step ahead of him, and didn't respond. Trying to imagine Sylus as a caretaker was difficult but he realized, that this is essentially what he had been doing. It chipped at his pride, and beneath that shell of self reliant pride was guilt and embarrassment for his weakness. He would have expected Sylus to delegate the job to someone else. Not deal with it, himself. They weren't on good terms exactly, this arrangement with receiving his medical attention had to be unsavory for the other man as well.

There had always been a tension since the moment she introduced them, Caleb knew from the beginning, Sylus was, his replacement; Calebs twilight colored eyes studied the back of his neck, his broad shoulders that he had seen her put her arms around several times.

Sylus was the man, that filled the hole he left in her heart when he abandoned her.

Caleb thought of himself as terrible. When he found her in the Fleet, he couldn't let her go. He couldn't help but wonder, if that decision sealed her fate in the Lab. He wanted to cling to her. He took advantage of her strangling obssession with him; so in love with him that it was suffocating and bordered insanity. He used that obsession to pluck her from Sylus' arms, but Sylus stayed in her heart, like a thorn that he couldn't remove.

She shed tears to remain standing beside Sylus, and he begrudgingly allowed it. He grit his teeth slightly as he thought of their past arrangement.

“I actually sent my staff away, for your sake, which includes my chef. So if you like, I'll make something instead.” Sylus said stepping across the high quality tiles of his kitchen with familiarity, his voice pulled Caleb out of his thoughts of the past.

“No that's okay, I can do that much on my own.” Caleb said dismissively.

“I'm hungry as well. So just sit over there.” Sylus insisted, with a bit of a commanding tone. Rather than push it Caleb sat at the black granite island counter on a stool and watched Sylus as he began to prep his ingredients.

“what do you mean for my sake?” Caleb asked as Sylus worked.

“Onychinus is having some internal...” He paused. It wasn't a problem exactly, “trust issues because of you.” Sylus explained
“trust issues?” Caleb questioned raising a brow.

“I may have people under my organization that might try killing you even if I don't want them to. I don't trust anyone other than myself to take care of you right now. Other than maybe Luke and Kieran.” Sylus said giving Caleb some honesty.

Caleb leaned onto the counter and propped his head up on his false hand, “When a soldier is out of line we beat them until they fall in line.”

“yes, well... What if you don't know Which soldier it is? What do you do then?” Sylus asked
Caleb stayed silent as he considered the question and Sylus continued talking.
“They don't understand what the Fleet wants here. Or how Onychinus and the Fleet could benefit one another. They just see you as reaching for power and threatening to Onychinus.” Caleb watched his hands as he sliced through ingredients. He held the blade well.

“Rest assured Farspace doesn't want anything to do with this wasteland. Our only interest is high value protocores, and a transactional relationship with Onychinus.” Caleb assured him,

“But as for our soldiers, in the Fleet our way of dealing with things like this, is collective punishment. So they're more likely to keep one another in line, and quickly rat one each other to the officers if they get out of line, so it never happens in the first place.” Caleb said thoughtfully.

“I prefer a more direct approach. In time I'll deal with them. I prefer my men feel free to make decisions and live their lives as they like. Even if that means to a quick death by my hand.” Sylus said setting the knife down on the cutting board.

“feeling free..” Caleb said quietly lowering his eyes to the counter, as he considered it. Something he didn't believe was real. 

Their meal was eaten at the island counter. One empty spot between them. It was silent, and a little awkward. Things were feeling rather domestic in the moment.

All this power as the ruler of N109, and his cooking skills were only okay. Caleb thought as he picked at the food on his plate. It wasn't bad, it was edible, but he personally, could do better. It didn't help that his appetite was poor and each bite made his lip sting in a small punishment each time. Annoyingly bringing his mind back to how he received that wound, again and again.

“Is it not up to your tastes Colonel? You watched me make it so you know it isn't poisoned.” Sylus questioned his eyes watching Calebs hand holding his utensils and picking at it.

“oh- No.” Caleb answered quickly

“No? Rather bold to say bluntly to the hand that fed you isn't it?” Sylus asked the corner of his lip twitching upward slightly as he watched him fluster out of politeness.
“No I mean, Nothings wrong with the food. Thank you. I'm not picky at all. It's better than the ration bars we eat on expeditions. The fleet is more concerned about efficiency than taste for its men, including the higher ranks.” Caleb said feeling a bit caught for his internal criticism and comparisons.

“Come now. You can be honest. Tell me Colonel, what do you think of it? If you eat my food in the future I'd prefer you like it. Not tolerate it.” Sylus pressed him. He knew perfectly well, Caleb struggled with being forward. She complained about it often.

Caleb glanced over at him, hesitant to answer.

“If you insist. For starters It's under-seasoned and wasn't seasoned evenly or at the right time. You want seasoning to compliment it throughout, not in patches nor overpower it, and it needs time to permeate through the food.” He explained to sylus motioning a line through the air with the utensil.

“hm. A detailed answer. So you do plan on staying, and eating my food in the future after all” Sylus teased lightly, earning a soft huff from the Colonel, who set down his utensils. Sylus' smiled lightly exposing his enjoyment in teasing him, and set his down as well mirroring the other man.

“She... also preferred my chef's food over mine.” He admitted standing, leaving his half eaten plate on the counter. “You know what seasoning makes bland food taste good no matter what?” Sylus asked as he walked to some cabinets. 

“what.” Caleb replied as he watched him.
“alcohol.” Sylus responded to his flat question, holding two glasses and a bottle of wine. Caleb couldn't argue with that. Sylus corked the bottle and poured the wine until the glass was far beyond what was considered full for a wineglass. Nearly to the rim.
“Stop-! It's going to spill-!” Caleb said with a touch of alarm before Sylus tipped the bottle up a drop landing on the back of Calebs hand. Caleb looked up at him as Sylus poured his own glass, his expression was blank, hiding his inner smirk. It was a little fun, teasing the Colonel. If they weren't at one anothers throats, if not for their history from the start, they could have been good friends, he thought.

Caleb tried to gauge him. Was Sylus messing with him?
“this bottle was thousands of dollars.” Sylus stated sipping his own glass and then stole a glance at Caleb watching him lick the wine off his hand.
Sylus, played around so casually like they were old friends or something. The domestic feeling of this moment was comforting in its own way though, but he was acting like they didn't have a full on fist fight only a week ago.
Caleb leaned down and sipped the wine from the edge until it was safe to lift the glass without spilling.

“It tastes the same as any other wine.” Caleb said tasting the wine on his lips, Sylus averted his eyes.

“Good thing it's stolen contraband then. What would your fleet officers think of their Colonel indulging in criminally obtained merchandise?” He said with a touch of amusement, finally eliciting a dark chuckle from Caleb.

“well, they cant think of much, since they all have the same chip as me” he joked darkly and Sylus let out a small laugh.

“so you can make jokes.” He said swirling the red in the glass.

They finished their meals, and the bottle. Despite the ability to banter, it was tense the awkward atmosphere never died down.

Neither forgot their fight. Sylus hadn't forgotten Calebs harmful intentions towards himself. When Caleb stood Sylus watched him, as he swayed slightly from the alcohol hitting him. He also looked tired, he probably was; He had been sleeping a lot from healing and having food and wine in him.

“You're welcome to take any room with an unlabeled door. It doesn't have to be the medical room” he said thinking of the bedroom that Luke and Kieran had marked along with hers. “The bedrooms are all in the hall with the crow plush.” he said collecting his plate and Calebs.

“Yeah Alright... What are you going to do then?” Caleb asked him, not that he cared to even know.

“I'm going to clean up and then I have some errands to do and a few business meetings.” Sylus answered
It wasn't a lie. Ever since he started negotiations with the Fleet, suddenly there had been too much work for him to do. Leaders of the different factions in N109 were very uneasy about Farspace Fleet wanting its hands in his territory. Negotiations with the fleet had been stalled. For now. But he wondered how long he could put it off.

Before he lost her, the extra work would have bothered him, but now he appreciated the distraction to keep himself busy.

--

Caleb walked through the hall alone. He wasn't drunk, maybe halfway there past tipsy. He indulged mentally in the numbing that it did to his mind. Slowing him down, dulling his senses. Instead of every emotion at once, and million thoughts a second, it was one thing at a time. He went and looked through a couple rooms, they felt like staged home décor magazine articles, places where people didn't exist.

Never touched, frivolous and full of furnishing that no one had ever used. His own place wasn't much better by comparison. He hated to admit, Sylus' preference for furnishing was maybe, cozier, maybe more inviting than his own tastes even.

One room was a bit different than the others, it felt more home-like, or warmer than the others rooms. He was also feeling a bit drunker than he initially realized. He decided this room would be fine and he made himself at home. Stripping down to his lowrise trunks and laying on the silk sheets leaving the expensive clothes Sylus paid for, on the floor. The medical room seemed shabby in comparison to the luxury of this room.

He turned his head into the pillows and inhaled the pleasant scent of the fabric, it reminded him of, coming home to her; The comfort of her arms around him as she excitedly greeted him and kissed him, warm and brilliant as the sun.
This was the last thing he thought before passing out completely.

By the time Sylus came back, it had been hours later and he was completely sober, compared to when he left. He had gone to the presidential suite, checked on the boys, and Mephisto who gave him an earful, and then went elsewhere to meet with several leaders from around N109. The meetings were exhausting for him. It was his own fault. The farspace fleet had no idea what discretion meant coming in here, and the factions under Onychinus were disturbed. Many people adhered to the misunderstanding rumors of what exactly the Fleet was or did.

He faced accusations of letting in the enemy, losing his grip, and among other things, such as protecting them. There was an unpleasant encounter, and he was covered in human blood.

What was worst. Was it wasn't untrue, that he was protecting a high profile asset of the Farspace Fleet. But...

His hands gripped his doorknob of his estate, and his jaw tensed as he thought of Caleb. The mirth in his eyes as he teased him with the crow plush in the hall.

It was just a promise. It was only for her, even if she wasn't alive to witness him seeing it through. His broken heart ached, the emptiness was filled with frustration. All he had was rage. He wanted to burn the world to the ground. But he kept it in.

He could get Caleb to react in small ways, he still cared about small things, like spilled wine or the crow plush staying where it was. Maybe he didn't break completely. But his mind went back to the scene of Caleb breaking down in that room last week.

He wasn't having a panic attack everyday, but he knew he wasn't okay. He was clearly just biding his time until he was strong enough and the more healed he got, the closer he got to.. disappearing.

His alcohol offering to Caleb wasn't just a kind gesture.

He wanted Caleb to get tired, so that he didn't have to worry so much while he was busy for a long period of time. It was easy while he was unconscious. He needed time to quell the leaders of other factions. He was also hoping that the colonel would be more loose lipped but he found he was remarkably composed under the influence. Maybe something stronger next time. If there was a next time. 

He felt a certain anxiousness that the Colonel would have slipped away or broke the promise, as he quietly walked through his halls. Wondering what room he chose; but decided to focus on himself first, needing to clean the blood and sweat off his body with a shower before looking for him;

In the shower he let the water run over him and took slow deep breaths, and his hand was on the wall curled into a fist as the blood of other men rinsed away from his white hair and stained the water going down the drain. He had gone overboard. Way messier than his usual approach. In a way, maybe he himself was breaking down. Like Caleb. The sight of blood affected him differently this last couple of weeks. He thought of the blood spreading like syrup across the lab floor while Caleb knelt in it holding her to himself, and shook his head as if to shake the memory from his mind. Dwelling back there in the lab would only do him harm.

It wasn't the same as Caleb's breakdown. If he didn't handle Caleb correctly... He was sure he would go wild, and burn himself out until there was nothing left of himself to burn, like a match at the end of the stick.

He had things, that were outside of her, Luke, Kieran, Mephisto, all of Onychinus. He had things he enjoyed, and loved, and hobbies, long before he met her. But despite that. Despite all these things preceding her, it felt, vapid with out her to share it with.

When it came to her.. he thought of Caleb, he had has his promise to MC.
But what did Caleb have? Everything the man did, revolved around her. Even his abandonment of her, he understood him a little. He would have probably done the same.

He dried himself off and put on clean sweatpants, wondering again what room Caleb had chosen, as he ruffled a towel over his hair he froze in his tracks as he saw a figure in his bed.
He realized, any room, with an unmarked door, also counted his own room. He didn't let her or the boys mark his door with graffiti or art or a plaque, or anything. A gesture he regretted denying.

Caleb was asleep though, his torso wrapped in bandages that he had placed on him. He stepped closer examining them carefully, they wouldn't need replacing until the next day, but Caleb seemed disturbed in his sleep.

He was sweating slightly, and twitching his breath was uneven. Sylus bit his own lip considering what to do. There was a man in his bed, clearly having some kind of nightmare; he decided to turn and leave. He could take a different room. He froze when Caleb muttered her name in his sleep. A small pang in Sylus' heart as he heard him say the name out-loud with such tenderness. She told him about the nightmares Caleb had before. He was her favorite thing to talk about after all, so Sylus knew a lot about him. More than he'd like if he was honest.

But this nightmare was clearly, about her. He could take a few guesses as to what the dream was about.

In his dream Caleb was there again, in front of that cage. The lab that birthed her, every night this was the place of his dream.

“Caleb- Help-” Her strangled voice was weak, and desperate, blood smeared the barrier blocking him from seeing clearly. Every night a small amount of static took her once clear voice.
“Please.”

He banged on the barrier and screamed but no voice came out, his legs wouldn't move under him; both of his hands shattered like fragile glass, sparks crackling from his bionic wrists.

Machine parts, screws and springs, jagged metal floated around him like the room had entered zero-g.

He looked up at Sylus in his dream, who gazed with a stoic blank expression.

“Sylus, help- her” He begged him.

His voice did come out. Both in his dream and in the waking world. Sylus looked down on him sort of startled. Was he aware he was there? He hesitantly approached his side. “Caleb?” He called his name carefully, leaning over him trying to rouse him.

The containment unit filled with her blood as the machine harvested her over and over, and he was forced to watch through the smeared blood.

Tears dripped from his eyes, as he slept and remained trapped inside the dream, Sylus tried to rouse him again, placing a hand on his shoulder hesitantly.
It opened suddenly and she was gone. There was nothing left of her. The lake of blood swirled around him like a whirlpool pulling him down, his gravity activated trying to lift himself out of the abyssal torrent. But it was so heavy, so forceful, he reached for Sylus, only for both of his hands to be missing. 

Outside the dream a shockwave of gravity pulsed out from him, “Caleb-!” Sylus choked as he was knocked back violently and hit the floor.

“You didn't save me.” She said her voice was, twisted, and harsh.
“You abandoned me... Don't you... love me?”
“No I- I didn't!” He gasped out loud and sat up heaving in uneven breaths as he snapped awake from his nightmare. Gravity warped around him like a protective shell of violent uneven pressure.
Sylus sat up on the floor sort of stunned, it had all happened in an instant. Having been knocked back and was recovering himself. The weight of it was immense but it was gone just as quickly. His nose bled and he wiped it with the edge of his towel quickly before standing back to his feet.
“You're awake-?” He asked gasping his heart pounded from the shock as he stood.

“Fuck-” Caleb cursed gasping. He clutched at his head, trying to control himself. It was like before; tears fell down his face against his will. He shuddered as panic welled in him.

“Caleb-” Sylus said his name trying to get his attention, but he was hit with another smaller shockwave of gravity when he tried to step closer. He was too lost in some kind of blind panic. He didn't want him to mess up this room with his Evol there was too many things that mattered to him in here.

Calebs evol was dangerous. To him, the room, himself. He needed to do something.

He got up on his feet, the air, felt, heavy and hard to breath. He tried to think of what to do, to ground Caleb, his mind racing. It reminded him of her breakdowns. They had met while she was at the height of her grief, just as self-destructive as the man before him. Every moment with him, was like a ghost of her.

Another shockwave caused him to stagger back. At this rate he couldn't even get close to him to do anything.

Rather than do things the hard way, he vanished into mist, and reappeared directly in front of him. Grabbing his wrist, and began to pull him up and get him to stand, but Caleb fought him, trying to pull away,

“Don't look at me-” His voice was choked with his emotions.
His pride could not handle Sylus seeing him in his vulnerability, even though he already had. Another wave of gravity pulsed out against Caleb's will, staggering Sylus.

He didn't want to fall on him and open his healing wounds, so he caught himself with his arm on one side of his head awkwardly as he dropped him on the bed and fell over him, bracing himself above him, their hips pressed together calebs necklace slipping back with a soft clink against sylus' hand. Finding himself face to face with Caleb with a sudden closeness. He could feel his panicked breaths on his skin, his own breathing kind of panicked now. 

With Sylus facing him seeing his sort of startled expression, the grief and sense of helplessness in his heart felt exposed and he turned his head to the side, the tears not stopping as he trembled beneath the other man. Another uncontrolled wave of his evol pulsed through the room, Sylus' nose dripped blood onto his jaw, and trailed down the curve of it to his neck.

“I can't-stop it” Caleb whispered his voice tense with grief, as he shuddered. He tried to pull away but Sylus gripped him sliding an arm around the back of his neck. He held him steady in his arms, not for affection, but out of necessity.

Rather than be met with harsh words like expected, he heard Sylus speak gently,

“breathe. You're having a panic attack, so just, breath.” He said in a low steady tone.

“I can't breath- I see her- even when I sleep. It keeps happening-” Caleb gasped desperately.

“You can, Caleb look at me. Here and now. You're not asleep anymore.” He said a little more roughly to him, demanding his attention, Calebs eyes flicked to Sylus from the peripheral.

“Just leave me alone-” Caleb rejected trying to push Sylus back. “it doesn't matter-”
“You aren't breaking alone. I know what it's like... to want to tear yourself apart.” Sylus whispered into his ear. His voice was unsteady; his stoic mask was cracked. That struck straight through Caleb; His resistance softened as he obeyed trying to take intentional, slow breaths, and slowly grounded.

The uncontrolled waves of evol began to weaken, before they stopped. The panic dissolved into a heavy silence, leaving them both with only the grief. The closeness began to register to both men. The tension between them shifted, as Caleb became aware of his position beneath Sylus, and both their state of partial undress.

“Why are you... even, here?” Caleb questioned his voice was unsteady, he turned his head to face Sylus finally, and breath mingled. Twilight meeting Crimson. Sylus tried to move away but Caleb grabbed his wrist with a cool hand, trapping him with his arm awkwardly around Caleb. Making him stop from pulling away as he looked down on the Colonel.

“To... Well it's- my room.” Sylus informed, lifting his head and looking away as he answered and averted his gaze, Calebs eyes followed, from up-close, his white eyelashes were long, he thought.

“You could have just left me to rot. It would have saved you, a lot of trouble. Its what we both want anyways.” Caleb said quietly. His hand trembled slightly, and he could hear Sylus' breath falter, his heart was beating hard. He couldn't feel it, but his bionic arm sent him signals and data telling him the Pulse of the veins under his fingertips around Sylus' wrist.

“I did.” Sylus said in a simple flat tone. Still looking away, “but-” His voice hesitated, and then he spoke more quietly, and reluctant. “I didn't...” he admitted. “release me.” He said trying to pull back again, but Caleb didn't listen.

“Because of the promise?” Caleb added to his sentence prying further. Sylus finally turned his head and looked back at him.

“Because, you-” He was all he had left of her. His voice shivered, “I.. hated. You. More than anything.” A tear slipped from his right eye and slid down his cheek and he snapped. His mask slipped.

“I lost to you. Okay? Our love was so, fragile, and new, She was doing so well, so much better, and then you just trounced in, and shattered it. You took her as if nothing had happened at all- like you were never gone in the first place, and I was left with just... the fragments. Even now- I'm left with... Just, You.” He whispered to Caleb, his own grief was getting the better of him as he spilled his emotions.

Caleb stared up at him almost startled by the sudden display, his own tears dripped again in empathetic response and Sylus tried to once again pull away but Caleb was not letting him free, his grip tightening harder, almost painfully on his wrist.

“So, I'm just, some scrap? that you were left with? ” Caleb asked, his voice low and raspy, a tinge of hurt in his tone. His pride stung. His rival from all this time, wasn't just some enemy. He was just a man that was just as broken as he was.
Sylus tensed at his emotional question, and rested his forehead against the other.

“I still. Hate you.” Sylus whispered his voice quivering with a heavy breath that brushed against Calebs lips.

Chapter Text

Their lips met in the middle, like before it was unclear which moved first. Their kiss was rough, deep and grief-driven. Mutual desperation and anger, from both of them driving the intimacy between them. It was the second time their kiss tasted like blood.

They both vied for dominance physically trying to force the other to submit. Caleb ignored the sting of his lip, as they devoured each other. His grip on Sylus' wrist remained, and he lifted his hips up against the other. Appreciating the friction it caused between them. Sylus' other arm stretched above Caleb supporting his own weight so he didn't crush him.

Their kiss broke for air both gasping, their faces flushed and blood was pumping, and Sylus whispered to him, “We shouldn't.”

“Then, just..stop.” Caleb responded, his tone almost challenge as he leaned up closer. Sylus nipped at his lower lip and they kissed again. Caleb part his lips willingly for him, their tongues sliding against one another. Caleb realized that pleasant comforting scent, that reminded him of her, on the pillows, that had lulled him to sleep, it was Sylus' personal scent.

Sylus moved a knee up between Calebs legs and rubbed against him through the material and Caleb let a soft gasp into Sylus' mouth. The free hand cupping his face moved to the back of his neck then to the back of his head, where he gripped his hair and pulled his head to the side. Sylus kissed the corner of Calebs mouth then his jaw, then his neck licking and nipping at him wanting and successfully receiving more gasps into his ear.

He pressed and rolled hips lightly against him, his cock was stiff straining under the material; it felt good to rub it against the other with want, able to just bury his emotions and focus on pleasure-

Caleb suddenly pulled away, letting Sylus go, and breaking the grip, Sylus had on him-

Sylus unlooped his arm from behind Caleb, finally free to put a bit of distance between them, breathing heavily, and looked down at him, his blush spread across his neck and shoulders. Free from Sylus' weight he sat up on his elbows, looking at him, and Sylus met his eyes, feeling a bit dazed.

He could feel his own rapid heartbeat in his ears, and the tension in his core from his arousal. The vision in front of him was attractive, but Caleb was clearly pushing him away, and he was right to do so. It didn't make any sense, to want to do this with him. This was such a betrayal to her.

“I'm..you're right we shouldn't.” Caleb said his voice echoing Sylus' words from only a moment ago. His voice was tense and Sylus nodded.
“Right- yes. Of course I'm right.” Sylus said his voice was breathless. This sudden close encounter was enough to make his mask slip back in place. It was a messy entanglement he wanted to avoid. He shifted and stood and he turned his back on Caleb. A pang of anxiety pulled Caleb to his feet before he could think. His hand gripping Sylus', accompanying the weight of Calebs forehead against his bare shoulder, his hair brushing against his skin.

“Wait-” his voice was hoarse. He needed Sylus, his own pride bent like hot metal. It was the first time he'd felt anything other than his horrible grief twisting him inside. Even if it was just simple pleasure, it was a respite from his misery.

A temporary distraction.

Even if it meant using Sylus.

Even if that made him a terrible man.

Sylus hesitated for a moment as if to pull away, but he turned to face Caleb. Calebs grief reflected his own. His neediness, and wanting, it felt good, to feel wanted, rather than just tolerated. It pulled him back into the gravity of it all.

He spent most of his time thinking about Caleb what to do with him. He had been taking care of him. Worrying over him. Tending his wounds. If he was healing, if he was satisfied with his meals, if the fleet would come and take him, if he would fight to survive on his own without his interference.

He wanted to hurt him for taking her. To fight him and tear him apart himself for failing to protect her.

He wanted to crush him for trying to dishonor his promise to her.

He wanted to watch as he unraveled because of him.

He wanted to devour him.

He wanted him.

He gazed at Caleb his eye glinting, trying to hear his desires, did he feel the same? Did he want him? Only to be met with the same dead static as before; but in a way, unlike other men, it made Caleb seem like his equal and it secretly intrigued him. It always had.

“Say you want me gone and it's done.” He said low into Calebs ear, he could feel Caleb go still against him in reaction but he didn't pull away or reject him. Instead pressing against Sylus harder, with need.

Sylus gripped Calebs hips his fingers digging into wounds under the bandages on one side, as if in warning. As if to try and urge him to push him away. Caleb hissed in pain. Sylus anticipated being struck, or shoved away, told to fuck off.
But instead the uneven weight of Calebs arms found their way around Sylus' shoulders and his lips to his neck biting him on the nape of the neck, and making Sylus gasp as a sudden sharp pain spread through his nerves, an answer to the pain he gave Caleb. They both wanted this distraction of pleasure.

Sylus steered them both together roughly back onto the bed. He made Caleb let go and put his own lips on the others neck this time biting him, marking him for the second time. Caleb gasped in pain, eliciting a shiver of pleasure in himself at the sound of his ache.

“It hurts-” Caleb protested finally into his ear and Sylus let up, from the grip on his wound, and his teeth from his skin, before biting him again in a new spot this time a little more gently.
He could feel him shiver against him and it made his heart pound. Neither spoke as they aggressively touched and explored each others body.

Sylus kissed him again, forcing his tongue between his lips and dominating him as he pulled his bottoms down just enough to free his cock. Calebs hands also hurriedly pulling down on Sylus' sweatpants.
Sylus glanced down, comparing them a little, they were of similar size and length Calebs with different curvature, he had veins more apparent in different places. 

He broke the kiss and pulled back, Caleb tried to follow and he held him back.

“be patient.” He said as he squeezed lubricant from his bedside onto his hand and shifted to straddle him, and pressed his cock against Calebs, slicking them with lube, taking them both in his hand that quivered with excitement. He held him down against the silk sheets, relishing in the dominance and control over him; this was a man with immense power beneath him. Power even greater than his own organization that was letting him stroke him.
Calebs hair was messy from the rough treatment, and his twilight eyes looked up at him searching to meet Sylus' heated crimson gaze.

His hand stroked them both tentatively watching his reactions. Caleb let out a gasp feeling Sylus' heat against his cock, his hands were so warm. Caleb was more vocal than Sylus had imagined. Not that he was ever imagining of course. Obviously.

The picture of Caleb beneath him pushed him to involuntarily thrust against his own hand and producing friction between himself and Calebs cock, with flesh on flesh, smoother than the silk beneath them. He rolled his hips again rubbing his cock against his as he held them together, pressing him into the bedding with the other. He licked one of his canines as he looked at him.

The expression on Caleb's tear stained face wasn't the usual contempt or self destructive darkness, it was a new expression full of vulnerable pleasure. In this moment, Caleb seemed like something delicate, and an unhinged sense of possessiveness filled his rage filled broken heart.

He leaned down hand pumping both of their dicks, and nipped at his neck, then his jaw, then met his Lips again, exchanging pleasured vocalizations into each others mouths.

Both of their actions were aggressive and hurried, maybe even desperate; both too drunk in the pleasure of the moment to think about their own grief or how warped this probably was.

Sylus let his own cock go to focus solely on Calebs, and Caleb returned the favor stroking him with practiced motions. Earning a quiet pleasured groan unwillingly from his throat into the Colonels ear.

“you like that?” Caleb whispered raspily in response causing Sylus' breath to hitch, his pride demanded denial, and to argue, but his honest response, was, he did. He liked it a lot.

Caleb could feel the others hips buck in pleasure with each stroke as he jerked him off.

He knew exactly how hard to squeeze, when to tighten his finger tips in the right paces; It was clear to Sylus Caleb had shared skinship with other men before. He was part of DAA in the past, as well as in Farspace Fleet, it likely got difficult, being long distance from a lover for so much time.

Feeling he was dangerously close Sylus gripped Calebs wrist forcing him to release him, not wanting to 'lose'. He held his hand which was softer than his own, against the bed, and he continued stroking the other, until he could feel Caleb throb under his fingers as he brought him to the edge, precum glittered in the dim light. He squeezed slightly too tight preventing him from having the pleasure of release. Calebs gasp hitched and he shuddered beneath Sylus.

“Say what you want.” Sylus leaned over, and spoke quietly to him in a heated voice, teasing the tip with his thumb smearing the pre-cum over the sensitive head; Caleb turned to the side looking away from him. Sylus wanted to hear his honest desires. If his eye couldn't hear them, he would make him tell it himself.

“Please-” Caleb gasped to him his back arching slightly,

“Look at me and say it.” Sylus ordered heatedly, his fast breaths strained his words; Caleb glanced at him, from the corner of his eye, his face reddened deeper, already blushing from their twisted affections; he brought his free hand to his own face and looked from between his fingers as he grit his teeth, a sense of humiliation washed over him. The pressure of need to release was overwhelming.

“Let me cum-” His voice was tense with pleasure and raw need, and a little in shame. It was intoxicating to Sylus. Every tremor, and desperate buck of his hips was like a victory he shouldn't have ever had witnessed.

“Say it correctly” Sylus pushed, his low voice resonated in Calebs ear as he leaned over him again.

“Sylus-” Caleb whispered, his voice nearly a whimper, Sylus' dripping cock twitched in response to his name said in such a desperate way, a throb pulsed through through his core, he could feel it through his entire body. He was still on the edge. He wanted to hear that again.

“I want, you to let me cum.” Caleb said in the same tense whisper. Sylus didn't immediately let go of him, biting his own lip out of triumph; He pressed his cock against Calebs again, feeling him pulse against his length. He let go and Caleb let out a tense vocal tone of pleasure as his cum spurted derogatorily onto his own stomach and chest.
“Good boy.” Sylus whispered into his ear praising him in an heated tone at his highest moment of pleasure, his words eliciting a soft vocal pleasure in response, that burned itself into his mind; He stroked himself against Calebs throbbing sensitive cock, and lightly overstimulating the other. It didn't take much, before he also let out a soft sound of pleasure. Caleb could feel it up the length of his cock as Sylus throbbed and came against him; Sylus' hot cum roping against his stomach and mixed with his own.
The milky white evidence of something they shouldn't have done together.

They both panted in silence, skin against skin. The fog of pleasure started to fade and Sylus was the first to back off; He sat aside, and took a moment to situate himself. Fixing his sweatpants. A boundary that neither of them could take back had been crossed. He handed Caleb the forgotten towel he had used to dry his hair and wipe his blood on, from his bedside but didn't look at him.

As the clarity started to hit him, he began to reel and question himself. What was he thinking? His crimson eyes flicked to Caleb who sat up propped on his hands, panting hard, sitting on the edge of the bed, he had also situated himself and wiped the cum off. The towel carelessly tossed to the floor.

Sylus felt disgusted with himself, he was supposed to be watching after this Fleet dog, and keeping him alive, for her, because of his promise, to her. Not- whatever just happened and calling him a good boy. He had relished in Calebs need for him. Had his grief from losing her made him so twisted? No. It was just. Pleasure. Thats all.

Caleb gazed at Sylus, unsure of how to even begin to process his emotions. He felt lost. Going from panic to grief fueled encounter of pleasure, if it was any other man, he would have been fine. He had done it multiple times. Detached. Just for pleasure. Just for release, no different than eating or sleeping, just a motion for some relief. No strings attached. But sylus?

Their rivalry, linked them more deeply than just a random encounter. He hated, himself, for how much he wanted him in that moment, how much he needed him. How good he felt for a moment to hear Sylus praise him. After being battered by grief, since the moment he lost her it was like a paradise in hell. His heart throbbed in his chest. He was still quivering from the intensity of the orgasm.

Sylus stood and turned his back on him again, and Caleb stood after him, and reached out grabbing his wrist, stopping him from leaving, yet again. He felt desperate, to stay near him.

“Don't leave me.” he said quietly, his tone was laced with his vulnerability. Finally being open with the other.

Daring to actually, openly, need him. Need the companionship in his grief.

For a moment Sylus hesitated but his anger at himself, already so full, boiled over he turned and shoved Caleb back roughly, causing him to stumble and lose his balance when the back of his legs hit the bed and he caught himself in a sitting position. Physically unharmed. but emotionally.

“I'm not- your distraction- you leftover.” He said harshly to him, as his insecurities got the better of him; but he immediately regretted the anger in his words as he looked at the expression on Calebs face at the rejection. He didn't want to be just, a distraction. He didn't want Caleb as a leftover of her, either.

But his anger was so sudden, and unwarranted. It wasn't anger meant for Caleb. It was for himself.

Calebs expression quickly twisted into anger, he still had some pride left to be hurt after all, and somehow Sylus rooted it out and crushed it.

“What? so- that's it? Can't we just.. talk? about this?” Caleb asked his tone laced with hurt.
“I'd really rather not.” Sylus said his jaw clenching. He didn't want to face the reality of their actions just now. It was an intimacy he wasn't ready to share with someone yet, it was too soon, his emotions too raw with loss.
“...just some-” Caleb struggled to find the words for a moment “Just her leftover for you to indulge in once in a while? A distraction maybe?” Caleb snapped, his voice cracked as he reflected the insecurities projected onto him, back. Sylus didn't respond, looking away from him. His brow knit together; he pushed a hand through his hair in frustration. A motion of body language Caleb had never seen before. Sylus had never been so stressed after cumming than he was right now. He turned and looked at Caleb again and opened his mouth but didn't know what he could possibly even say to him.

He looked away from him again. His own expression full of hurt. But he masked that hurt and vulnerability from Caleb.

“You can just- ...have the room. Go to sleep before you tear yourself apart.” He snapped and he vanished into black mist, escaping from his own bedroom, into one just a single room over, where he sat on the sofa and put his head in his hands.

Caleb was left in silence by himself. A part of him wanted to chase him down, but he was too exhausted, humiliated, and demeaned. He was furious, and also feeling, abandoned. How ironic. He fell back on the silken draped bed, the back of his hand covering his eyes. A twisted laugh left his throat as he choked on his emotions, a tear dripped from the corner of his eye, his body physically reacting discordantly to what he felt.

---

The next day Caleb sat the medical room waiting for Sylus, who was collecting gauze and scissors, he set them down on the table next to Caleb. An unavoidable daily routine and things were tense.  Sylus began unwrapping the old ones; a small pang of guilt as he saw a light amount of blood that stained the bandages where he dug his fingers in.

It was awkward, the hum of equipment accompanied by silence straining between them both as neither spoke. Neither wanted to address what had transpired.

Sylus unwrapped him carefully and Caleb could hear the sound of Sylus' breaths as he leaned a little close to guide the wrapping, Caleb could see the mark on his neck just below the collar, and his ears blushed lightly. Similarly, Sylus couldn't avoid the passionate bruises and marks he left on Calebs neck.

Glaring reminders to both of what happened.

His eyes flicked down briefly, just once, before he looked away sharply.

Caleb noticed the look, and finally broke the silence. “Do you finally have something to say?” He asked his words were low, and laced with bitterness.

Sylus' hands lingered as he brushed the tips of his fingers against the wounds with a salve, his gentleness in doing so was contrasting to his inner turmoil and the tension between them. He spoke carefully.

“Listen...What happened last night was just-...”

Just what exactly was it? He hated Caleb, he disdained him. He jealously held her in his arms, able to smell Calebs cologne on her when she came back from visiting him between expeditions, Caleb was, an unavoidable part of her. He had watched Caleb, kiss her goodbye, deeply, and look at him pointedly as if to say, that was his woman. He would even occasionally wonder, which did she prefer? While taking her in bed. Caleb dangled her in front of him cruelly. They had spent over a year and a half, trying to show one another up.

He felt tethered by duty, by his promise to her, to make sure Caleb didn't tear himself apart; But the task was far larger than he could have ever imagined. His presence, was all consuming, like a black hole. He may be the one staying confined in his headquarters but Sylus felt Caleb was inescapable.

“Just what?” Caleb asked impatiently, his jaw tensing Sylus' hand hesitated, unintentionally caressing near his wounds.

“It was just- a mistake. It didn't mean anything. The only reason I have anything to do with you right now, is because of my promise with her, and because of the standing between Onychinus and the Farspace Fleet.” He said stiffly. He wanted to stop talking and finish up and quit. He moved to start bandaging. Some of the smaller wounds had already healed, but the worst of them, would still need, at least a few weeks. How long until the Fleet came knocking looking for their asset?

“You're just as pathetic and dishonest as I am.” Caleb growled in a low tone. Sylus sucked in a breath, and faced him. Irritated by the accusation, along with the self disparaging remark. He didn't think of him as pathetic.

“This is the longest argument-” he started off but stopped struggling over his words as his anger flared. He composed himself briefly as best he could.

“What would you know about honesty? She didn't even trust you. She entrusted your own well being to me instead. Why don't you think about why she didn't trust you? I'll tell you why. You're too... too weak.” He snapped back with far harsher words than he meant to. He was not in the mood to argue anymore. It had been an exhausting couple of days.

Caleb seemed to falter at Sylus' anger, and then Sylus finished bandaging him, roughly, ignoring the small gasps of pain over the more tender of the injuries. He stepped harshly towards the door only to pause. The silence was painful, and he didn't want to leave it like that between himself and Caleb.

“I'll be busy. If you need something, get it yourself. And find a different bedroom to sleep in. You can't have that one. It's mine.” His words did little to fix the painful silence. “mine” a word he so desperately wished to have told him when she was still alive. He shut the door harshly leaving Caleb alone in the room to simmer.

Caleb swallowed hard and his fist curled. Of course he knew he was weak. He didn't need Sylus to tell him that.

Before the chip he could at least focus on her. Now he was free without it and without her. He never considered how much he had come to rely on it to dull his depressive moods and his emotions. It was hard to think straight under the duress of his amplified emotions.

His wounds ached, but his emotions ached far worse than any flesh wound. The night before still hung heavy in his mind, the way Sylus praised him, at the very height of it cut through him. The humiliation and desire and his shame towards his desire. Then the rejection. The confusion of being forced to need Sylus, but simultaneously, not allowed to need him.

He couldn't stay here like this. He was losing his mind.

He felt rejected. Having to humble his pride due to his injuries, having to allow Sylus to dress them each day. To face the reality that she asked Sylus, to look after him rather than make Caleb promise directly with her. These things compounded his helplessness and jealousy.

He should have been buried in the lab that created her. His hand closed around his apple tags and chain that she gave him. Something that once brought him comfort now sat like a weighted constant reminder of the empty space she left behind.

It was as if a part of him had gone missing. A feeling, he knew. His bionic fingers flexed. 

The pain wasn't going anywhere and he was tired of his tears. Even though it was for a moment there was only a small respite, from this overwhelming sense of loss.
But now? He was drowning in it. He felt, desperate, as if fighting something, but there was no one and nothing to fight except himself and Sylus here. He felt like a prisoner and it was not because of his stay with Onychinus.

He had no plan, or concept of where to go, he just- wanted to run. To find her. To See her again, hear her voice. He decided for himself, and for Sylus, that he would make his exit. It was probably for the best anyways. Sylus would be free of him and he could free himself from these aching emotions.

He prepared himself mentally and stepped into the hall. Since there was no one except for him and Sylus, he didn't worry about being caught. He simply went straight to the entry of the place with no obstacle and took the doorknob in hand.

He hesitated, as he thought of Sylus, and everything that transpired since he woke up in the HQ. Their fight, that kiss, their warped intimacy. The hatred burned in him. Sylus' gentle care as he tended his wounds, each day.
Sylus' words burned in him. That his death would be a betrayal to her, that it wasn't a loyalty. That he was weak.
“tch-” What would Sylus know about the true depth of his connection with her?
He could feel his Evol surging inside himself in tandem as his emotions surged. His heart beating hard as adrenaline started to fill him.

He found it remarkably easy, to just simply, go out, and it was in someway, a little anticlimactic. Was he hoping Sylus would notice him leave? Fight him? Come to stop him and pull him back...? He couldn't shake a small needling disappointment.

The highrise building Sylus lived in had a tight, gated perimeter. The courtyard was immaculate, especially for the N109 zone.

It was raining heavily. Something he couldn't tell from the inside. Though he realized the wall, why it was so simple for him to leave outside, and roam the base. He took a breath of N109's downtown air. It was anything but refreshing, with the stench like alleyways full of rancid piss.

The gate needed a password. Permission to leave.

Determined he let his surging Evol, go, intending to create a path. Concrete to his gravity was nothing. It was just dust.
“You abandoned me, and he was there for me”
His emotions fluctuated heavily; why did he recall this fight with her now?

A crushing wave of Gravity instead rebounded against him, his own evol betraying him and snapping through his nerves and his muscles convulsed, the oxygen in his blood reacting to the sudden changes in pressure, his bionic arm sending him warning signals, and flashing lines beneath the 'skin' as the heavy pressure put it under immense strain.
His wounds re-opened under the force and blood instantly dotted the wet ground mixing with the rain. The space around him bent for a moment as the gravity warped before whipping violently back into place.

He tried to steady himself, putting his hand on the unharmed part of the wall where a drawing of hers was, in chalk or maybe marker of some kind, two apples, and a little crow, hearts between each. He panted heavily, heaving he vomited. His tears dripped mixing with the rain, and he staggered forward several steps trying to keep himself steady. He sank to his knees that gave out from under him, and choked out an involuntary sob of physical and also emotional pain.

A gun cocked, and Caleb looked weakly up from his position on the ground weary, and dazed. He could smell the iron, or maybe it was his own blood he smelled. Down the barrel. Maybe Sylus? His vision was blurry, his evol hadn't betrayed him since he was a kid. It was much weaker back then. The silhouette wasn't Sylus, but someone was aiming for him.

“All this time I've been waiting. Boss thinks you're worth protecting, but the N109 zone has many contractors. Your blood is valuable. Fleet Mutt.” A man in rain gear, stood over Caleb. The Colonel just lowered his head, and waited for it to happen with no fight. His lack of fight made the assailant falter confused by the reaction and total lack of self preservation.

Upstairs Sylus was sitting tapping a pen, too distracted personally with his own thoughts and internal struggles to do any work. What to do with the Fleet, how to ease the tension in Onychinus and in the N109 zone because of Caleb. How to ease tension between himself, and Caleb. His anger was a mistake. How to deal with Caleb, and make him stop his self destruction. How to deal with his own emotions. How to deal with Calebs panic induced meltdowns. The tone in calebs voice, when he asked him to stay, the tone of his voice as he whispered his name in desperate pleasure, his soft erotic gasp as he came-

The tell tale feeling of a massive surge of evol snapped him out of it and he was on his feet in an instant. It wasn't inside the building but it was nearby it. The Evol was unmistakably Calebs, it was like a black star, flaring and dying. He wasted no time, debating it, he hurried through the estate to his balcony hopping on the railing.

The elevator would be too slow. He vanished into a comet of mist diving down rapidly, and reappeared at the scene between Caleb and the man. He glanced at Caleb, his eyes burned in the dark as he angrily assessed him. 

Blood seeped through Calebs white tee and, the rain made it run staining the cracked tiles that spider webbed out from a epicenter several feet away. It didn't appear self inflicted. 

“B-boss- you're here. Thank god. This- This guy was snooping around-”

As if noticing the man for the first time Sylus slowly turned, glancing at the gun, then meeting the mans eyes. Hearing his desires. Money, fame, women.  Then looked back to Caleb, Sylus' heart raced and he wasted no time, he didn't want to hear this mans lies. His Excuses.
He was a pawn for someone else, but he didn't care. A tendril of mist immediately struck the man eroding him into nothing, like embers, absorbing every speck of energy he had down to a molecular level. A shot was fired in the death grip, and Sylus felt the air displaced by the bullet fly past him, and Caleb verbally wince with pain. Sylus' stomach dropped at the sound and he turned quickly looking at the Colonel.

“Caleb!” Sylus called with light panic.

The gun clattered to the ground behind him. Fresh blood trickled from Calebs thigh where the bullet had only grazed him rather than striking its original target. The tiles beneath him had all been cracked from the backlash of his Evol. He tried and failed to stand, his legs giving from under him as if every ounce of energy in his body had been expended.

“You damned fool! Where are you even going to go?” Sylus scolded him, as he took to his side, to lift him up. Caleb weakly shoved him away and snarled.

“Let me go- I don't know but I don't need you. And you don't want to deal with me anyways!” His words were biting and guilt nipped at Sylus' heart. He caught his wrist in a bruising grip, his crimson eyes burning with frustration. He should have been kinder to him at the very least.

“You can't even stand!” His voice was sharp but it also wavered lightly with fear. He struggled with Caleb as he resisted him.

“What does it matter!” Caleb shouted at Sylus over the rain, his voice was choked. “She's dead anyways! She doesn't care about you, or your stupid fucking promise. She can't. So why-” His words cutting Sylus down, he knelt down on his knees, level with him. His broken expression silenced Calebs lamenting and he grabbed him by the shoulders roughly. His hands squeezing hard. Even soaking wet, his hands were so warm, a sensation he could only feel unevenly by each of his arms, one sending him data for the exact temperature. Forced to face Sylus.

“I just- You're... Promises matter. Caleb!” Sylus snapped at him with, not so much anger but frustration. He pulled him against himself into an embrace. “You of all people, should know that...” his voice had softened, as he spoke into his ear. Fingers tracing the back of the chain that laid around Calebs neck pointedly.

“My promise to her, is you. Your life is my promise. If you destroy that- You're just destroying what she left behind.” His breath was uneven as he spoke.
“So don't. Don't make me bury her, and her promise..” His words were more like a plea than a demand. Caleb lifted his arms, but hesitated. Sylus' arms around him, were warm, and he wanted to simply lean into it and take solace from him; but Sylus' harsh words from earlier his rejection, fresh in his mind, he didn't... deserve it. Despite this hesitation he put his arms around him, in return. His broken tone as he spoke the words, made Caleb feel gutted as his heart twisted in response.

As horrible, as he felt about it, as much as he hated Sylus for sharing her heart, they had both lost her that day. He wasn't alone in that.

They stayed together for an awkward moment and Caleb stayed silent. Sylus shifted, not wanting to let him bleed for long. He shouldered his arm and lifted him to his feet, letting him lean on him. With Caleb limping the two men made their way back inside. A trail of blood and rain water through the building. In the elevator up, Caleb leaned on him heavier, and Sylus took additional effort to carry his weight back into the medical room where he helped him back to the table. They were drenched by the rain, so Sylus grabbed a couple of towels setting them down, and peeled off his dress shirt only in his black tee underneath. Caleb followed suit and took off the wet shirt exposing the rain soaked bandages that bled through.

Sylus clicked his tongue “I just did these.” He said tossing another towel onto the table beside him. He was just speaking to speak to fill the silence.

“I'll have to see to your leg too. You aren't bleeding too much there but I'd still feel better if I can check it.” He said putting his hand to the back of his head and looking away from Caleb. Caleb reacted slowly, he felt, so tired.

“Was that guy Onychinus?” Caleb finally asked as he pulled his belt, dropping them. He wasn't embarrassed he was used to being seen undressed by men. Intimate encounters or not. Sylus turned and looked back to Caleb.

“Yes. I apologize. There's a lot of tension because of you right now in our ranks.” He knelt in front of Caleb and took a wipe to the graze examining it.

“So even gangs have ranks then.” Caleb mused, he wasn't in the mood to make jokes or tease, but he was tired of the heaviness between them. The Awkward silences, the aching. It was killing him. Light conversation, even if strained, was better.

Sylus wanted to be angry he tried to run, but he couldn't blame him, not after how he treated him. Not while his emotions were running rampant without that chip. He wiped his wound as gently as possible smoothing the torn flesh and Caleb flinched in pain.
“Sorry- also, yes, if I didn't establish an order it would be harder to get anyone to do anything. Our operations are larger than you would expect. It looks like the graze isn't so bad. It'll heal sooner than some of your other wounds.”

Sylus said cleaning it gently he laid a bandage over it, and used his hand against the back of his thigh to lift the leg and guide gauze around it. He looked up at Caleb, his hair was dripping wet, looking down at him. His dim eyes met Sylus's. A small pang of attraction flickered in him. He stood and tossed a towel over Calebs hair and turned away to collect bandages the same as always.

“Listen...I realize that I wasn't exactly kind to you.” he said his eyes lowered, as the night before played through his mind. He didn't look at him as he spoke.

“and its probably difficult to deal with your emotions in your current state, when you've been living numbly with that chip for so long.” Sylus said carefully.

“The toring chip.” Caleb said quietly as he dried off his hair before tossing it aside.

“Yes that. So.. I apologize for pushing you. My anger... wasn't meant for you.” There. He said it. “So What exactly, was the purpose of that chip?” Sylus asked shifting the subject and not allowing his apology to rest.

Caleb watched him, carefully, What was his anger meant for? He didn't pursue his curiosity. “...The Fleet wants soldiers. Not family men, and dreamers or artists. Getting worried over your child, or sad your brother in arms dies- these things are problematic to a soldiers purpose. So EVER, and the Fleet, puts this chip in its Officers.” Caleb explained to him,

“So you're basically a Fleet of plastic soldiers? Unfeeling?”Sylus asked a little curious.

“Sort of. The chip makes them forget anything they feel strongly about. It overrides your memories. Even those that mean the most. There are men in the ranks, that do not even know they are Fathers.” Caleb leaned back a little on the table but winced as the wounds shifted. For some reason Sylus thought of Luke and Kieran. How miserable they would be without the memory of the other, and how they wouldn't even know something is missing that they couldn't remember. He wondered how deep that memory loss went. Would they have a sense of something missing?

“Why didn't you forget then?” Sylus asked, he was feeling disturbed, the more he knew.

“Oh- They tried. Hundreds of times.” Caleb said flexing his bionic hand and deactivating the skin over it. Revealing it's intricate parts and construction. Despite the backlash it held up well. “It was the price I paid for this.” He said rolling his artificial fingertips forward then in reverse.

Sylus approached him, and started to cut and unwrap the wet bandages from him, and their conversation died. Not every wound opened again, but the worst of them did. Tending his wounds had become kind of methodical. Sometimes the silences were comfortable, sometimes they were rigid. Sometimes they made small talk like now.

“Well Chip or not- I won't watch you tear yourself apart.” He asserted to Caleb firmly as his hands worked. Caleb bit his own lip lightly the still healing wound from the bite, stung as he did so, and he looked away from Sylus.

“I'm sorry. I just- It's... all so much-” His voice was quiet as he spoke. Caleb paused, trying to articulate his emotions. Sylus paused in his tending, feeling uncomfortable.
“So... your evol... Does it always react with your emotions like that?” He asked changing the subject. Caleb looked up at Sylus.

“No...That's new. Usually I have, perfect control. but ever since I woke up it's been like that. Like last night, but I've never had a rebound, except as a kid a couple times.” He said his eyes lowering as he considered it.

A silence stretched, and Sylus came to a pause.
“I see.. well. I'm finished with these bandages again.” Sylus said standing back, but then lightly tapped him on the back of the shoulder with the back of his hand “Don't do something stupid and mess them up this time.” He reprimanded lightly. “anyways- Lets get dry clothes and eat something.”

Caleb had hopped off the table like usual while Sylus spoke, “You've lost blood so- Caleb?”

Caleb opened his mouth as if to say something, he had been perfectly fine while sitting, and then when he straightened up his head swam, feeling heavy. He was so tired, he just needed to rest for a moment, he thought. Unable to say the words out loud. He swayed and started to sink, collapsing as the exhaustion hit him. The rebound of his evol had taken everything out of him.
Sylus caught him protecting his head with his hand from the table. The Colonels weight pulled him down with him as he caught him in the mid section with his other arm and Caleb fell on top of him to the floor.

“shit-” he cursed maybe he lost more blood than expected? worry threaded through him like veins. Sylus held him for a moment, resting the unconscious colonels head on his shoulder. Not sure what to do right away.

Hating Caleb for getting himself to this state, hating himself for pushing him further into it, hating the situation as the consequence of his own careless treatment of him.

Chapter Text

Rather than taking the easy option and laying Caleb down in the medical room Sylus took him to his own room where he felt a certain security keeping him there instead and could protect him. He quickly summoned the Doctor again, along with Luke, Kieran and some of his most trusted staff back to clean up the blood trail among other things. It was time for a change in the main HQ. It had been far too solemn with just Caleb and himself.
It was also, for himself. He missed the twins and their spirited antics. They were sad she was gone as well of course, but they remained their playful selves and it brought him comfort.

Caleb had been doing well in healing but his Evol acting up was a major concern.

What if they had irreparably messed him up?

What if they made a mistake and hurt him worse during the delicate extraction process? When the doctor showed up he greeted him personally, and showed him to Calebs side. He tried to shake his anxious emotions as the doc examined him and Sylus filled him in about the last couple of weeks.

“So, what do you think? I've been following your instructions with the wounds everyday, but they keep getting reopened from... various things.” He said leaning on the wall near the bed, his mind drifting back to their intimate encounter from the night prior. Many of the reasons being, him. Their fight, and that intimacy, Caleb's flight attempt was all because of him. He folded his arms over his chest and looked down at him.

“Well for starters... From what you've described, he hasn't been resting well. Even just appearance wise, he physically looks completely exhausted. We knew the chip removal would probably destabilize him- but considering the circumstances...His Evol is his greatest danger now.” The doctor looked up at Sylus,

“Because of the backlash?” Sylus asked studying Calebs sleeping face.
“Only evolvers like you or him have this kind of risk, and it almost exclusively happens to children that aren't the best at self regulating yet, where the risk of death is much lower, and the worst that happens is a bit of a painful lesson. But this is a grown man with a fully developed and highly trained Evol. It's worse due to the issue with that chip.”

The doc left Calebs side and crossed the room, an Sylus followed.

He down on the leather chair in the private lounge of his bedroom, and motioned for Sylus to join him who sat across from him. A folding screen sat between the bed and the lounge, but Sylus slid the chair back just enough to be able to see past its edge.
“Listen Boss...” The doctors tone was serious. “I would never imply that.. you haven't been doing your best taking care of this guy-” The doc started glancing away from the leader, pausing as he considered the unmistakable marks, on Calebs neck, and his split lip. Things that weren't there during the previous examination. He considered his words carefully.
“But the Colonel, needs some delicate treatment, until he can cope with his emotions. So be careful okay? Only time and regulatory training will give him back some self control as he gets used to the full effect of his emotions and his mind stabilizes.”

Sylus looked away guiltily from his underling, “Of course. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you. What about his condition right now?” He asked pressing for more immediate concerns.
“As for passing out, a backlash will drain a person significantly. He didn't lose too much blood it's because he hasn't been resting enough, or the quality is extremely poor. Then the backlash took whatever energy he had left out of him. It's actually probably for the best that he was so exhausted when it happened.” Sylus looked at him questioningly,
“Why?” he pressed.
“Because if he had plenty of energy, and faced a backlash at its full potential, it's possible... no definitely. He definitely would have died to the strength of his own Evol.”
Sylus' heart skipped a beat at the doctors words in alarm.

They chatted a little longer and then the doctor left him alone in the room; Luke and Kieran scattered when the doc went out, and Mephisto stole his chance to swoop in and go to his perch. The twins spied just long enough to see him run his hand through his hair in stress, and the door shut itself suddenly.

Sylus pulled a chair from the lounge and sat next to the bed. He didn't realize how close Caleb was to the edge of an unintentional death even with his self-destructive tendencies. His flight attempt didn't seem based on a genuine desire. Calebs words during their argument, played through his mind,

“Just as dishonest as you huh...” He said quietly. He traced his fingertips tentatively along the exhausted mans inner wrist, feeling his blood pump through his veins.

A secret and private affection unwitnessed.

Proof of Calebs life beneath his fingers.

Proof his promise was kept, safe and sure.

He hated to admit it, but he had been dishonest with himself. He had stopped seeing Caleb as a rival.
At what point in these last few weeks, had this happened? He still harbored a great bitterness for him. Resentment didn't drain away so easily.

Caleb had hurt him. They hurt each other. Even when she was still alive, and now in death. A psychological war went on between them behind her back. He sat back, folding his arms over his chest, sinking into the chair and and resting his head on the plush back, and looked at him.

With her gone, the dynamic between them was unraveling and fast.

Like a snagged silk ribbon on thorns, fine thread becoming unwoven; falling out of place and never the same, and never pristine.

They no longer had a reason to compete. His fight was now with Caleb directly, trying to get him to value his own life; in doing this, he had incidentally grown to value the Colonel himself.

It was confusing, and it twisted inside him. His emotions were like water and oil resentment, and grudges, reacted poorly to the presence of emotions like guilt and fondness.

He bit his own lip bitterly at himself. He shouldn't have snapped at him. Shouldn't have pushed him away. He wanted Calebs companionship just as much as Caleb wanted it. He berated himself for his lack of control of his anger.

It was all so messy.

-

Caleb stirred, feeling the comfort of a bed, a pleasant scent that he recognized. He opened his eyes slowly, remembering his collapse, and Sylus catching him and even him cursing as they sank to the floor together; as if his body went unconscious before his mind.

It took a few minutes for him to recognize that he was in Sylus' room, in his bed. It was dimly lit, and he sat up and gasped a breath his heart skipping several beats startled slightly seeing the figure of a man sitting right beside him in a chair, before he groggily recognized him.

Sylus.

He took a second to compose himself as he realized the other was asleep. He went through his usual slew of emotions.

His pride stung.

Sylus had caught him, and protected him yet again. His half-hearted flight attempt was destroyed by himself and his evol rebound.

He felt, stupid.

The frustration followed.

He hated the feeling that he owed Sylus in some way. The man had saved him, tended him, dragged him back from death willingly or not.

That kind of blood debt settled into the bones, and Caleb despised it.

Yet every time Sylus stood over him with that quiet certainty, every time he said little but steadied him anyway, Caleb felt the same pull; the same invisible tether drawing him back to his side.

It was easy to see how he’d become a leader of a gang like Onychinus. It wasn’t only strength; though Sylus had that in spades. The way people bent unconsciously toward him, like gravity itself had chosen a new center.

Caleb hated that he could feel it too.
He hated that the same pull Sylus had, was starting to work on him.

Duty pressed against his ribs like iron; the Fleet, the rank, the future that had been decided for him long ago.

But beneath it was something far more dangerous, the temptation of staying, of letting himself be claimed by something he had no name for yet.

He gathered that it had been maybe around six or seven hours since he passed out.

Had Sylus sat beside him the entire time? He studied his features, his lashes really were long. Pretty even.

Sylus' breathing was deep, slow and steady; his arms were crossed protectively over his own chest. His face seemed so gentle without the hardened expression of anger or frustration or contempt. Or twisted with worry and sorrow.

He would have certainly been scolded by teachers back in the schooldays or by the higher ups in DAA, for his white hair too.

Caleb reached a hand out and brushed his fingers gingerly through that unusual and surprisingly course hair, not really thinking. Only for his wrist to be caught loosely in a warm hand. Sylus glanced up at him his red eye dimly glowing in the dark. The sharp expression quickly shifted to a more relieved look as he saw him up.

“You're awake. Tell me colonel are you the one that gave her the habit of touching others while they sleep?” He asked in reference to her bothering him while he slept during the day.

“Oh- well. No I hope. But your hair though, It's such an interesting color.” Caleb admitted. Sheepishly taking his hand back from Sylus' warm grip. His words almost directly echoed something she once said to Sylus who sat up in the chair.

“I'm aware. How are you feeling?” He asked as Caleb shifted back on the bed.

Other than his wounds aching he felt fine physically, but he was also starving.
“I'm starving- we were supposed to go eat but I guess I passed out.” He said pushing his false hand through his own hair and looking away from Sylus who gazed at his features usually hidden by his dark hair.

“Thanks also. For catching me; But you didn't have to sit by my side.” Caleb followed up in a quietly bitter tone.

“I don't need thanks, it's not like I had much of a choice anyways.” Sylus said glancing away. “It would be a problem if you had another nightmare and lost control in your sleep. I also had the doctor come and I spoke with them, about your Evol acting up. You need rest and calm-”

Caleb looked over at him, “Oh well..I-” Caleb interrupted him. He didn't feel calm.
“Let me finish-” Sylus interrupted back “I haven't been doing my best keeping you stable when you're so fucked up because of my order to remove the chip-”
“Sylus.” Caleb interrupted him again, he said his name so seriously that Sylus stopped and looked at him again.

“You have no idea what kind of favor you did for me to remove that chip. Do you.” Caleb stated more than asked. Their eyes locked in the dim light of the room and a new kind of silence appeared between the old rivals. One that was not heavy, or painful. Yes, Caleb still resented him deeply, but the gratitude he felt was overwhelming.

“If you didn't do that- by now whether the chip was broken or not, all my memories of her would be completely gone.”

---

The next day was the day, Caleb met Luke and Kieran for the first time officially. He had heard plenty about them from her. He was sitting on the medical table, as Sylus wrapped him again. Pretending to not notice Sylus' occasional, lingering touch. The atmosphere, felt lighter than usual.
“- Told you he wouldn't be dead” Luke said from behind a cracked door.
“only because Boss looks after him like an injured puppy.” Kieran replied back.
Caleb clenched his jaw at their words,
“What?” Caleb asked darkly, they both stiffened and Sylus glanced at them sharply through the door. They both entered into the room, their masks kept their faces concealed, but they certainly looked striking. Somehow perfectly complimenting Sylus' style.

“The rumors are true, the Fleets golden boy is breathing our air!” Luke said with a poorly performed Salute. Sylus paused with his bandaging and looked at them both.

“at least introduce yourselves to our important guest.” He told them a touch sternly. Their demeanor changed quickly.

“Luke!” The first one supplied obediently.
“and Kieran!” the second followed up.

“Inseparable!” They said in unison.

“I wonder how long it will take you to remember which is which!” Luke said excitedly.

“She remembered after only a few days~” Kieran added.
Caleb took note of their appearances, they were similar but still had their differences. Sylus paused with the bandaging again, shooting them a withering look. They didn't need to be in here harrassing the man while he was being treated.
“Out.” he ordered. Which they both ignored, to Caleb's amusement that he could not hide despite his tense posture. The corner of his lip twitching upward as they circled closer.
“Interesting. We've never seen Boss play nurse before-” Luke said,
“-Or guard dog.” Kieran added.

Caleb glanced up at Sylus, whose ears had turned a touch redder.

“Guard dog is fitting. He's barely let me out of his sight.” Caleb played along with them.

Sylus snapped, “Enough!” with a slight edge to his tone, his ears and edge of his cheeks burning warm. “What have I told you two about spying?” He scolded, stepping between Caleb and the twins and shooing them away.

The two just laughed at their Boss's flustered reaction and left the room together just as quickly as they had entered, and Caleb smiled after them for their humor. It was a rare and genuine expression; one Sylus hadn't really seen on him since Calebs time staying here. He had seen him smile, a little, a couple times at least, but...

For a moment, Sylus found himself caught by it.

This smile softened Caleb in a way that Sylus hadn't seen before. It was unguarded, without burden, almost like the man he might have been without trauma stitched into his bones.

Sylus looked away, pretending not to linger too long on it.

--

Over the next week, the two men fell back into a daily rhythm.

Sylus was treating Caleb like a mission; and Caleb couldn't help but notice several things.
All of the meals, were focused nutritionally on healing.

Sylus pushed a lot of bedrest on him even if he wasn't feeling tired.
The near constant watch Sylus had on him;

He found the mans worrying, unbearably suffocating.

When he wasn't in the room with him, Mephisto was, and Sylus would be soon. He ever anticipated Sylus' presence.

They didn't fight, or even bicker. It was as if the incident with his evol had deeply changed something between them.

But beneath the surface Caleb still held a storm of emotions. The intimate moment and the heat of their fight afterward, still burned in his mind. His escape attempt had also certainly diminished some of or possibly all of Sylus' trust and he blamed himself for this.

At the same time, the HQ no longer felt like a mausoleum. He could never have guessed that only two people could fill so much space with their presence.
Luke and Kieran and even Mephisto, kept him busy and mentally distracted. They twins were loud, and nosy and constantly imposing on the injured man, pestering him about the deepspace tunnel, and guns and planes, and an entire universe of other things he never even thought twice about.

Despite the routine tightening up, and his rest increasing, and the air feeling more fun and enjoyable, Caleb's nightmares weren't getting better.

After a particularly bad one where he lost control again, Sylus insisted that he needed, training for his Evol, and Caleb begrudgingly agreed to it. It wasn't an unreasonable request exactly. He wouldn't be able to go back to the Fleet and get them off the ground with his Evol acting out like this.

During a particularly boring meal where there was a break in the routine, Caleb was ignoring his bland food in the kitchen. Instead he folded paper cranes, with an array of colorful paper that Sylus had given him at request.

He had folded several in a variety of colors while Mephisto watched dipping his head and poking at them with his beak.

Suddenly the twins both burst in. Circling like crows.

“Captain!” Kieran saluted sloppily. Caleb paused mid-fold on a paper crane, one brow rising.
“Colonel Caleb!” Luke echoed, mimicking his brother but with twice the energy. His arm shot up too high and his feet weren’t together.
“That’s the wrong hand, and the form’s all off.” Caleb set the half-finished crane down and stood, taking his time with his injuries. He went to the boy and adjusted his posture. He showed them slowly, precise in every motion.

“Like this. Shoulder straight, fingers aligned. Try again.”

The twins energy made him feel slightly out of place. Their laughter bounced off the walls; easy and unrestrained in a way he couldn’t quite mirror anymore. He didn’t exactly feel lively himself; too much of him was still stapled together with the Fleets discipline and restraint and his internal self too solemn to match them.

Luke elbowed Kieran, to get him to fix the salute, and Kieran shoved him back in pretended offense.

Caleb was pushed into the role he hadn't asked for but couldn't seem to get out of.

They made him feel like an older brother; someone that was meant to temper their mischief and keep them in check, but it was more fun to give in. He liked to play along and remind himself that not everything in this place had to be weighted with grief and duty.

The twins corrected themselves. Kieran with sheepish focus, Luke grinning beneath the mask like he thought the whole thing was a game. Caleb’s gaze softened despite himself.

“Have you seen Boss?” Kieran asked quickly, dropping his arm once he was satisfied with the adjustment.

From just out of sight, just beyond the archway of the kitchen entry Sylus watched them secretly; arms folded, eyes narrowed in thought. It unsettled him to see how easily Caleb folded into the rhythm of Onychinus life, how naturally he adapted to people who were supposed to be strangers. Watching Caleb slide into that role with the twins made something in Sylus’ chest tighten uncomfortably.

He told himself it was annoyance and that Caleb didn’t belong here and shouldn’t act as though he did. But when Caleb smiled faintly at the boys’ antics, rare and unguarded, Sylus felt the truth press against his ribs.

“We wanted to show him something!” Luke added, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Caleb tilted his head, pretending he didn’t already know the answer. The corner of his mouth twitching up subtly. His eyes flicking to the side, in Sylus' direction.

“Why would you ask me?” he asked dismissively, as if Sylus hadn’t been hovering around him for weeks.
“Because-” Kieran began.
“-Boss is always with you, Boss is your keeper but that also means you're his keeper.” Luke finished, the words spilling out.

Caleb blinked, caught off guard despite the truth of it.

“He treats you just like one of us,” Kieran said earnestly.
“One of you?” Caleb echoed, trying to sound skeptical even as something inside him twisted.
“Like one of Onychinus,” Luke supplied, proud of the conclusion.
“Even though you’re a Colonel for the Farspace Fleet,” Kieran continued.
“But if Boss trusts you-”
“-then we trust you,” Luke finished, their words were both open and certain. Like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Caleb swallowed a dry laugh, turning his eyes back down to the crane he’d abandoned, and Mephisto who tilted his head in several directions. He seated himself again, He didn’t quite know what to say to that. Part of him warmed at their sincerity, and part of him recoiled, reminding him of where his loyalties should lie.

“How long are you going to stay?” Luke asked suddenly, leaning over the counter.

Caleb paused mid-fold, the paper crane stilled between his fingers. The question shouldn’t have shaken him, but it did. Sylus didn’t trust him, not really.

His nightmares were another complication. Still, the Fleet would be growing restless in Skyhaven by now. No new contracts were being taken until he returned; they could only hold their leash slack for so long.

“Probably not long,” Caleb admitted at last, his tone quiet but firm.

Both twins body language exposed their surprise, their expressions falling behind their masks. Kieran moved like he was about to speak but before he could, a voice cut through the kitchen.

“Until our negotiations are finished,” Sylus said smoothly from the doorway. His presence filled the room before Caleb even turned. His words were measured, controlled; but Caleb caught the prickliness beneath them. “And until I can trust him, to hold up his end.”

The twins exchanged a glance, reassured by their Boss’s certainty, and nodded. But Caleb felt the prickle. Sylus wasn’t talking about politics.
He set the finished crane aside with a little too much care. For the twins’ sake, he didn’t snap back, but the air between them was sharp.

“Enjoying your food?” Sylus asked him cordially, shifting the tension.
“Not really.” Caleb told him honestly.

“Hey boss look what we learned to do.” Luke said getting Sylus' attention. He proceeded to twirl a blade between his gloved fingers it was almost impressive, only for him to drop it on the floor anticlimactically, with a metallic clatter.

“I guess we should practice a bit more Luke.” Kieran said laughing and collecting it from the ground, and they both departed chattering away about the right way to do it.

“they sure are lively.” Caleb voice carried a small laugh. He was glad Sylus brought them. Things had started to feel lighter. He had started to feel lighter, just a little.

“Would you be surprised if I told you, that you and them, aren't so different?” Sylus asked him
“What do you mean?” Caleb asked curiously, unfolding and refolding the paper.
“My headquarters is infested by formerly self-destructing lab-rats. You, the twins, even the bird.” Sylus said with a hint of amusement in his voice. He stood at Calebs side. Caleb glanced towards the exit they took and back at Sylus.

“That is surprising.”He admitted. Were they also victims of EVER? He wondered.

“Someone might accuse me of having a type at this rate.” Sylus joked lightly.

“So you'd consider me your type huh...” Caleb quietly teased just a little.

Sylus' ears tinted red, “See? I've been accused. Now come. If you're done with the food follow me.” Sylus said waving at him to join him.

“okay, one second though.” Caleb said as he folded the paper.

Caleb finished folding and pushed the bunch of cranes toward Mephisto, as Sylus watched from behind him.
“Here you go. All for you.” Caleb smiled gently at the bird.
Mephisto croaked and plucked a few from the bunch, only to flick them off the counter one by one with a sharp toss of his head. He gave a satisfied caw, wings rustling as he reached for the red ones with his little claws.
“Oh, you don’t like those ones? Alright, I’ll only give you the pretty ones next time.” Calebs voice held his laugh, unbothered.

Sylus folded his arms across his chest again, but it did little to contain the sudden discomforting feeling crawling through his chest.

Caleb’s smile.

The ease of it, the softness he gave so freely to Mephisto.

It unsettled him more than he wanted to admit. It had been weeks since Caleb could even breathe without wavering in his torrent of emotions, and now he was here, laughing over paper birds like nothing had ever broken him.

It should have been a relief. And it was.

But, Beneath that relief was something else.

Sharp and restless.

Watching Caleb like this, so unguarded, made Sylus’ stomach feel tight. He didn’t know what to do with the ache it left behind.

It wasn’t supposed to matter this much; not Caleb’s laughter, not the way he crouched down, to pick up the discarded cranes, not the way Mephisto leaned toward him like he’d already been claimed.

Sylus shifted his weight, jaw tense. He told himself it was only good to see Caleb healing, but the truth pressed heavier. Every day Caleb grew stronger was another day closer to him permanently walking away. And Sylus hated how much that thought hollowed him out.

“Alright, ready” Caleb said standing, placing the cranes on the counter again a little further away from Mephisto's cranes.

He still had some soreness form the worst of the shrapnel wounds, so crouching brought out that aching, despite the healing.

“Care to tell me what we're doing? You already changed out the bandages today.”

Sylus spoke along the way as he lead them to the entry of the penthouse and out the door into the halls.
“We're going to be re-training your Evol starting today. Your nightmares aren't getting better, and your Evol is getting stronger. You need control. We can't risk another backlash. The doctor said if that happened at full strength it could kill you. Or maybe even others around you. I refuse to risk that.” They stood shoulder to shoulder in the elevator going down. Caleb watched the numbers, and it went all the way to the first basement level.

“After extensive consultation, I prepared my gym for you and I, to work on it. To give you back that control.” Sylus said as he exited the elevator into a barren hall. He went to the door going in first.

Caleb paused as he entered, “Oh, It's literally a gym?” Caleb remarked. There was a single lane pool along one wall, the sterile scent of pool water treatment.

In a carpeted area, different equipment like treadmills and benches for different muscle groups sat. In another section, mirrors lined the walls, and met in a corner, mats were laid down over hardwood and a half-wall divided it from the rest of the room. Caleb was sort of surprised.
“does that surprise you?” Sylus said to him. “I wanted to make sure none of my equipment gets damaged while we train though. So I had to arrange some stuff.” He added.

They went to the sectioned off part of the room, it was roughly the size of a boxing ring. Just small enough to keep them somewhat close together, but still allowed distance. Sylus kicked off his shoes at the edge of the mats and Caleb followed his actions. It was difficult to see outside the spotlights that shined down on the section. It was just Sylus, and Caleb there.

“So- what am I supposed to do?” Caleb asked looking at the both in the mirrors. “Just...Get upset or-” But Sylus interrupted him.
“I thought about how to go about this quite a lot. I didn't think, triggering your trauma would be good way to do it. For either one of us. So instead I decided I'll push you to the edge in a different way.” Sylus said. His voice was steady but a tinge of guilt bit at him. He didn't feel amazing basically telling him to push himself into an emotional panic. Not that it was difficult in his current state.

“my trauma?” Caleb questioned, more to himself to Sylus.

“You will get mad. But, this is the only way you’re going to stop endangering yourself and everything around you.” Caleb’s question was ignored.

Sylus lifted his fist. At first Caleb didn’t understand; then the chain slipped through his fingers, the small red gem on the apple and his tag catching the light.

Caleb froze. It was like a blade piercing between his ribs. That little tag was more than metal; it was the last piece of her, a memory he cherished of her. She was gone now; but this remained, his anchor, the one thing he had never let anyone else touch. And now it dangled from Sylus’ hand.

Heat rushed through him, sharp and black; not just anger, but fury born from grief. His nails dug into his palms. It felt like a violation, a theft of something sacred.

Their rivalry had dulled over time; the blade they once crossed had been sheathed. But Sylus still knew how to cut him. He knew exactly where to press, how to draw out Caleb’s rage, how to make him feel cornered and make him unravel.

He was so furious he was stunned into silence and stillness. He felt his chest where it usually rested as if he couldn't even believe it.
“Give it back.” His voice quivered.
“Then take it from me. Use your Evol.” Sylus ordered him. Feeling a sense of Deja'vu at this situation for two separate situations.

He had tried to force her resonance, and then made her take a trinket from him when they first met.

With the brooch, it was more of a flirtation. This situation was laced with purpose.

“If this cheap trinket, has you trembling already, then how do you expect to control yourself when real pressure hits?” He pressed further, stepping closer.
Calebs fist clenched, and he tightened his jaw. He recklessly lunged for him, driven by his anger, with no Evol, but Sylus easily sidestepped him.

Again,

then once more.

Frustrated Caleb's Evol activated, rooting Sylus in place. The pressure locking his legs to the mats. Sylus could feel the evol on him as it pulsed like a living thing warping with Calebs unstable mental undercurrents.
“It's not cheap.” Caleb growled at him.
“Could've fooled me.” Sylus goaded trying to act like the gravity wasn't heavy.
The air bent around them in unseen waves. Caleb closed the distance quickly to take the tag, and Sylus could feel the gravity pulling at him in as if pulling him towards Caleb at the same time.

He used his evol, the gravity holding him down dispersed the black mist before he appeared behind him with distance.

Calebs gravity searched for him and grabbed him again by the legs, and shoulders, Forcing Sylus to kneel hard into the mats.

“I said. Give. It. Back.” His voice was unsteady and still low, and dangerous. The apple tag lifted slightly as the gravity field affected everything within it. Sylus' ears popped as the pressure in the air shifted, like on a plane, causing him to wince and shake his head slightly.

He was sure Caleb would completely lose it, but with stiff shoulders, the pull of gravity steadied, lightening.

The tag jerked towards Caleb, the chain, still tangled in the gang leaders fingers. But it hovered, mid-air between them tethered by its chain to Sylus.

Sylus studied him carefully, his heart was beating quickly, as calm as he was acting Calebs Evol was dangerous, and he was healing quite well and full of energy.

The last nightmare induced panic attack had done a lot of damage to the room he was sleeping in.

He still had bruises under his shirt from that first time in his bedroom; from being knocked on his ass from trying to get close enough to him to steady him and snap him out of it.

The one and only time he held him.

“Good. Now hold it there. Keep it.” He urged him lightly with praise.
Sylus once again vanished into mist, off his knees. The Tag clinking as he circled Caleb and stood closer, deliberately adding pressure of his own presence.

Caleb's Evol was trembling around him, but his focus slipped from his intense anger. Sylus was too close. The strain of his grief and resentment, combined with his concentration was too much.

A spotlight above them popped and sparks rained down on them. The glass shards froze mid-air above them glittering like stars. The tag nearly wrenched from Sylus' hand the chain burning his skin, cutting him deep. As if Caleb was trying to tear it away from him.

Sylus hissed, wincing, in a away that reminded Caleb of when he bit him leaving a mark on his neck.

That reminder shook him out of it just enough to pull it back, but Sylus stepped forward into Calebs personal space who froze guarded; he leaned forward, with a pained tone and spoke into Calebs ear “You call that control?” Sylus chided in a tense voice.

Blood from his fingers dripped down the chain off the tag onto the mats.

Caleb was breathing heavily.

With an injured hand bleeding all over the mats, Sylus decided this was enough for a day one session. Caleb did control himself, for a moment. Even though it was maybe a second long.
“that's enough for today.” He said bringing a hand up and cuffing Calebs shoulder lightly. Trying to offer assurance, before he stepped away, turning his back on him.

Caleb's anger slipped and warped into desperation,

“wait- Please-” Sylus stopped and turned to look at him, their eyes meeting, and lingering.

“Please just give it back.” Caleb asked again softly. This pulled at Sylus heavier than the gravity.

“I'll take good care of it.” Sylus assured, quietly, rejecting his plea. “I'll give it back when you can take it without tearing the whole damn place apart. Tomorrow lets do some real training.”

A pang of guilt threaded through Sylus as he turned the tag over in his bloodied palm. The weight of it pressed into him in a way he hadn’t expected.

He knew exactly what it meant; he wasn’t blind. He’d seen the way Caleb guarded it, the way his hand always drifted to his chest when he was unsure or nervous or sad.

It wasn’t just some trinket; It was a memory, his grief, his devotion, and love all pressed into a scrap of metal that had outlasted her.

He shouldn’t have touched it.

The thought whispered through him, bitter.

But he curled his fingers tighter anyway, closing his hand around the tag as though by gripping it harder, he could smother his hesitation. If this was the only way to drag Caleb off the edge, then he would bear the guilt. Even if it meant wielding something he held closely to his heart as a weapon.

Left on his own, Caleb leaned back against the mirrors, his breath ragged, his hand dragging through his hair.

He hated this. Hated how quickly Sylus could undo him.

In everything else, he was untouchable; the best at what he did. Top of his class, the golden boy of every rung he’d climbed.
School, College, Deepspace Academy,
Even Farspace Fleet.

He had been forged to perform, and he had never once faltered.

Except here. Except when it came to emotions.

His eyes lingered on Sylus' drops of blood.

Here he was weak, unbalanced, and combustible. A perfect soldier undone by the simple sight of a small tag held in the wrong hands. He had been trained to master anything but this.

And worst of all, Sylus knew it. Not even she was aware of his instability. He had hid it well from her, and Sylus saw through him.

---

The next several days were the same. But on the fourth day Caleb was just going through the motions.
Bandages. Mealtime. Training. Rest, and leisure, playing with Mephisto, or the twins.

Caleb seemed far more crestfallen than the previous few days. He felt brittle, as if the motions of routine, simply dragged him rather than something he was doing intentionally. His nightmares weighed heavily in his mind. He could no longer see her face in his dream at all.

On the mats Sylus stood poised and composed, calm as ever. A bandage of his own on his hand. Sylus' composure was something Caleb was starting to resent him for.

While he was so calm and in control he was coming completely undone everyday when he was supposed to be the emotionless, cold and composed. The Colonel.

He felt showed up by the gangster and it was embarrassing.

They had taken to starting off with regular actual sparring and training. The sparring itself wasn't all out, since he was still injured and Sylus was favoring his injured hand.

But calebs movements were off today though. The strikes lacked his usual military precision. His evol flickered in fits.

Everything was sloppy. He could feel the weight of his emotions surging beneath the surface. His habit of touching the necklace when he thought of her, only to find it was also gone served to amplify her absence.

His grief, and frustration was too sharp, too strong,

His evol flickered and pulsed pulling the air in. It curled in on him reflecting his inner emotions that made him want to curl up.

“Don't choke it down.” Sylus said observing him carefully. His posture still relaxed, but his tone was authoritative. “Stand inside it. Don't smother it so you can learn how to manage it when you can't.”

Caleb shook his head, “It'll get out of hand.” He exhaled sharply.

“That's the point.” Sylus said stepping closer to Caleb, letting the gravity pull him in.
“If you don't learn to control your Evol at the worse of it, then you will never be in control. You will just keep losing control when you're breaking down.”

Calebs eyes flashed with emotion and his frustration turned to anger. “you act like this is so easy.” His voice cracked, and the gravity pulsed out from him.

“Thats good... Now pull it back. Turn it off.” Sylus urged, rather than argue with him. He didn't speak gently exactly, but it wasn't a demanding tone. It was calm.

Caleb bit his lip, which had healed mostly, leaving a light scar. His Evol lashed unevenly, the more he fought the less it obeyed him and the less control he had. His chest heaved as if his own power was suffocating him.

Sylus debated his following words, but said them against his better judgment.
“Do you think this would make her proud of you?”He pressed. Calebs body tensed, the fluctuating pressure went wild around them, forcing Sylus to shudder.

The words cut far too deep his restraint buckled.

Sylus protected the cleaned tag, for a moment, he was wearing it around his own neck for safe keeping from Mephisto who had pilfered it in the first place, and to make their sparring easier.

Calebs gaze locked onto Sylus' motion; his anchor, his wound, his tether. All his thin strands of control of his evol snapped, like frayed thread.

The lights above them swayed, he staggered slightly, now he was panicking for real. The Evol escaped him in uncontrolled waves.

Sylus had become familiar with Calebs panic. This was the reaction he had expected yesterday and the days prior, if he was being honest; surprisingly, under the stress of anger Caleb had more control than he originally anticipated.

It seemed Caleb truly bent under his grief and emptiness where he had no control.

Caleb's chest hitched with ragged breaths, the pressure was only worsening.

“That's Enough.” Sylus said his voice cutting through the shifting gravity. His voice was serious. He stepped forward again without hesitating, into the fluctuating air around Caleb.

“You're not tearing the place down just because you can't hold it together.” Sylus said to him as he passed the center of the mats. Caleb was at the edge of them.

“I- it won't stop.” Caleb snapped at Sylus desperate. He looked furious but, beneath that it was panic.

Panic was an emotion, that was thin, and sharp like a blade cutting, and it made him sick to his stomach.

Sylus ignored his words, and vanished in a whip of mist, reforming directly in front of him. In the same breath he caught his wrist. The tags clinked as their bodies collided and Caleb twisted resisting him, but Sylus shoved him back until his back hit the shatter proof mirrors on the wall. A closeness born out of necessary containment.

“Just Breathe.” Sylus said calmly, his breath as he spoke brushed against Calebs ear. “With me. Now.”

in his panic Calebs pride sparked, and he shoved against the others chest with a free hand, frustrated by the pin; but also the gravity faltered with the motion as he sucked in a breath.

Sylus pressed his freehand to the mirror, keeping him confined between it, and himself.

“Good. Again.” Sylus ordered. His voice was lower. “In. Out. Stop fighting me for once in your damned Life.” he growled at him.
Their breath collided, uneven at first, but then slowly falling into sync. Sylus' arm closed around his shoulders.
The pull and push of the gravity reduced, the pressure of the air eased, as Calebs chest rose and fell, in reluctant rhythm with Sylus. His jaw was tight, and he realized he had been grinding his teeth and he intentionally relaxed his muscles, taking the pressure off his teeth.

When the evol completely steadied, the Silence that followed was deafening.

Sylus didn't move. His grip loosened on Calebs wrist, but didn't let go. Their foreheads nearly touched and for a terrible fragile moment, it felt less like restraint with the purpose of containment, and more like, an embrace.

Pressed together, the warmth of their bodies transferred between them, was pleasant; the thought of that night, flicked through both of their minds.

Caleb stole a glance, their eyes making contact. The circumstances were similar. Caleb panicking, Sylus, bringing him back down, their closeness afterward.

Overwhelmed by the closeness Caleb pushed him away lightly.

At last breaking the thread of tension, and Sylus let him have the space he wanted. Calebs chest still rising and falling with heavy breath. The air around them had finally gone still.

The silence felt jagged as broken glass, full of their most complicated emotions.

Sylus straightened, pulling his own sleeve into place as though nothing had happened.

“ We'll do it again tomorrow. Today I pushed too far, so I'll be more careful.” He said apologetically, his crimson eyes lingered a little too long on Calebs, before he turned away.

Caleb put his false hand on his wrist, where Sylus gripped him. The warmth of his hands still burned in his skin. He somehow almost always took his real arm, or pat him on that shoulder instead of his bionic one where sensation was very dull.

"By the way clean up the mats too before you leave." Sylus added a little more authoritatively.

“Don't order me around like I'm one of your underlings.” He tried to snap but his voice lacked much bite.

“Then learn control.” Sylus retorted without looking at him.

Caleb swallowed, watching Sylus's back and the silver of his chain around his neck. He watched him, just a little too long, as he left him alone in the gym to clean up.

Chapter Text

The number of bandages grew less as time marched forward and the more Sylus' unease grew. He kept seeking reasons, to delay Calebs stay here.

The training had become something they both ended up privately looking forward to.

Sylus craved a closeness with him, and the more they spent together everyday, the stronger that craving got. He masked behind clipped orders and harsh words. Pushing him as close as he could to the edge of losing control of his Evol and trying to avoid pushing too far.

Sometimes they trained just for the sake of training without Evol. Sparring and exercising together had become kind of fun for them both. As it turned out, Caleb was actually a pretty good boxer, and he learned quickly.
Sometimes they left tense, other times leaving on good terms.

Sometimes Sylus pushed Caleb too far.

The beat of their routine was broken though.

Caleb had arranged contact with the Fleet. Something Sylus begrudgingly arranged himself. Early in the morning, he was in Sylus' lavish office and Sylus sat nearby, tired, usually sleeping around this time, on a lounge chair. He was half shadowed, studying the other man.

Caleb was standing rigid and still behind the desk. He wore his uniform, and had his hair freshly and perfectly trimmed. He looked every bit the Soldier that he initially knew him as. Proud, handsome, and sharp. He was Formal in a way that he had grown unused to seeing, and it made his stomach twist.

The connection was surprisingly stable despite the interference between the N109 Zone and Skyhaven. Caleb couldn't help but note, the stack of books that were all, about Evol, and emotional control, and causes of backlash and rebound that were on the edge of the desk, some had annotations peeking from between the pages. Out of place, not put away.

The men weren't attached at the hip, exactly, but they did spend a significant amount of time together, every single day. Sylus must have been studying when they were apart. For his sake.
He couldn't let it affect him now though. Not while his Superiors eyes were on him.

“Colonel what the hell could possibly be taking you so long? What have you been doing without any report?” His general demanded, voice berating him.
“I apologize General. There was some complications and Onychinus' leader was gracious enough to let me Rest and Recuperate in their headquarters, due to some severe injuries. I wasn't capable of contacting you until now.” Caleb said succinctly. His officer voice was smooth, and well practiced. He was like a different person.

“Severe injuries?” the General repeated, even with the lag that flickered through the call, his skepticism came through in his tone. “That doesn’t sound like you. You’ve taken worse and crawled back on your knees. And yet this time you disappear. Without word. Without report.”

“Yes Sir, the injuries were extensive. Onychinus has shown a great amount of generosity to me.” Caleb explained.

The General paused his expression on the other end clear. “Generosity Colonel? That doesn't sound like them either. This is a high profile gang of the scum of society, simple thieves and rats. How generous could they possibly be?”

Sylus tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair clenching his jaw as annoyance ran through him. The reputation of both Onychinus and Farspace Fleet couldn't be more different. One the high end, clean cut polished military, “by the books” as it was put. The other? the operators of the underbelly, dirty and the only money that moved through hands was stained with blood.

The General continued as he was met with silence from the Colonel he was berating. “This isn't like you Boy. You are one of our best. Do you realize what you're gambling with? If you play the cards right there's a generals star waiting for you. A month and a week, Colonel. No report. No update. No return, not even a single email. Then you call me with Excuses and time wasted. What do you have to say for yourself?”

If he had the chip, which as far as the General was concerned, he did, Ladder climbing motivations, wouldn't work on him. He remained the actor.

Cool. Collected. Empty.

“I understand Sir. I apologize. Please keep in mind, that Onychinus has the resources to be a valuable long term client for Farspace Fleet.” Sylus' heart skipped a beat at his words. Longterm.

“Then answer me this: did you close the deal with Onychinus have they agreed with our terms?”

The silence before Caleb’s reply stretched too long. “No, sir.”

The General’s voice cut through the static, harsh as a whip. “Then hurry and wrap it up Son. We have a list of clients already circling, waiting for the Fleet to move. If you don’t secure this deal, after all this time, we may have to reconsider your position. Do you understand?”

The words landed like a blow. Caleb didn’t flinch, but his tone grew a touch icier. “I understand, sir.”

“Your time is running out Colonel.” The screen lagged, pixelating the Generals glowering stern expression, then snapped to black.

Caleb’s shoulders eased just a little, and a slow breath escaped him. Relief tangled with anxiety twisting in his gut like he ate something unpleasant. He turned his head slightly, stealing a glance and catching Sylus watching him. His crimson eyes unreadable. He wondered how he felt watching him be berated by his superior.

As the two men walked down the corridor, Caleb’s boots echoed on the stone floor, steady as a march. But inside, he was reeling with nervousness.

His acting and discipline, had carried him through, but now that he no longer needed to behave the part of Colonel, the General’s words replayed like a drill in his skull. This isn’t like you. Your time is running out.

Each words sank in deeper than the last. He had always been their best. He had always done everything right until now. The Fleet had been his compass, the structure that defined him after he tried to leave her to keep her safe. He had given them everything. His life, his identity his flesh and blood. 

But now, without her in the world, it seemed so pointless.

Unleashed and free from the chip, he felt as if this defining of him, as a Colonel, was no longer mutual it was an unwilling tether. He hadn't cared before. The steady steps beside him, made him uneasy about it. 
The idea that they might simply cast him aside gnawed at him. He had done a lot for the Fleet; but he wasn’t irreplaceable. He wasn’t untouchable. He was just a tool, and tools get discarded when they’re too slow or not in good enough condition to work anymore. 

Caleb knew too much. Rather than simply retiring him, he would be on their burn list if he tried to depart rather than build a long lasting career with the Fleet and dying in combat or on duty.

But he couldn't shake his feeling of wanting to just... stay grounded. For the first time in his life. 

He drew in a slow breath, but it caught in his throat.

His bionic hand flexed at his side, the phantom ache of his old wound returning as if to remind him that he wasn’t the same man who left after that explosion, and of what he owed them.

When Caleb’s steps faltered for half a heartbeat, Sylus slowed to match him, without thinking. They both pretended not to notice.

Sylus presence was heavy, but he had also found Sylus, grounding. Caleb didn’t want him to see the doubt cracking through his armor, about his career, or his weaknesses. He had already seen so much.

Sylus had not missed the flicker in Caleb’s eyes after the call ended. He had grown, rather familiar with Calebs emotional process, his masking. His subtle tells in his body language no matter how much Caleb tried to bury that darkness.

The General’s words had struck harder than Caleb let on. He’d seen it before, that soldier’s mask slipping the moment the uniformed back straightened and the boots stopped marching.

What unsettled Sylus was how much he recognized it; as if a spotlight was on him, for being able to understand Caleb without words, and the witness and judge, was himself. 
He should have felt satisfaction, even contempt. Watching the Fleet’s golden boy unravel, it should have been vindication. But no part of it brought him satisfaction.

He. Wanted to be the one, to unravel him.

But, instead, because it was someone else causing it Sylus felt that ugly, twisting pull in his chest again.

When Caleb finally spoke into the silence between them, his tone was quiet and subtly informal. So different from the mask that was "Colonel" 
“Fleet'll come for me if I take too long.” 

Sylus’ gaze flicked to him, sharp and unreadable. “I'd really prefer they don't make that mistake.” His voice was cold. He couldn’t bring himself to admit, that he would protect Caleb, even from the Fleet, if it meant upholding his promise.

The confidence in Sylus’ voice made Caleb’s glance at him from the peripheral of his eye. He couldn’t tell if it was reassurance or arrogance. Either way. His thoughts broke away from the General’s words and latched onto Sylus. The man who had been steady at his side through all of this, no matter how twisted it had become.

In the medical room, Caleb went to undoing his jacket, loosening straps and dropping it off his shoulders, he set his officer’s cap aside and loosened his tie and collar of his shirt. Sylus caught himself staring. At his fingers nimbly unbuttoning the shirt. The edges of his cheeks turned warm and he turned away from him. Caleb got down to his tshirt underneath and pulled his shirt over his head fluffing up his hair as he did so.

While examining him, Sylus’ hands lingered at the spot where wounds had once been, his touch unconsciously slow. The chain with Caleb’s tags weighed heavy around his neck.

Caleb had healed incredibly quickly. It had been just over a month since the Colonel first laid unconscious in his medbay, and each visit since had required less and less of Sylus’ care.
Now, as he peeled away the last of the bandages and tossed them into the trash, there was little sign of the injuries at all.

The nanos had left only the faintest scars. It was shockingly minimal for the damage Sylus had seen.
“It looks like you won’t need me to do this anymore after today,” Sylus muttered, forcing the words out. His own words stung him.

The truth was, Caleb hadn’t needed him for this in several days. But Sylus had insisted until the very last of the injuries were completely, entirely, down to the last scratch, totally healed. Not a single blemish. Drawing it out under the excuse of being “just cautious.” But it wasn’t caution. It was the only way he could justify keeping Caleb here, still within reach.

Grasping for anything to leash him.
Just a little longer.

The more the wounds had healed, the more the sense of Caleb slipping through his fingers grew in Sylus. It was like trying to grasp at fog. It made the leader of Onychinus, apprehensive. When had he considered him, within his hands in the first place? 

“All thanks to you.” Caleb said leaning back until he felt Sylus' body heat between them. He propped his weight on his palms so he could look over at him as he stood behind him on the opposite side of the table.

“I've been grounded for too long. My general is pissed.” Caleb said his eyes lowering
Sylus glanced at Caleb, before looking away, complex emotions flickered through his red eyes. He crossed his arms.
“Onychinus wants to be in good standing with the Fleet. The circumstances were bad, but it's been a valuable opportunity to show them we're willing to take care of their assets.” Sylus said gesturing at Caleb.

“The Fleet wants your Patronage. That's the only thing they value. That's the only reason this much time has been allowed.” Caleb responded, he straightened up and stood. Sylus watched his back muscles flex as Caleb brought his hands up and he ran his hand through his own hair. He had picked up Sylus' habit when he felt stressed.

“Come on. Lets forget about it and eat.” Caleb said trying to break the uncomfortable tension that was hanging around them and pull them back to the routine he had grown accustomed to. He turned and gazed at Sylus studying his expression.

“Sure...” Sylus said looking away from him. Caleb could sense the others unease that was pulling on him, unsure of how to approach him. Caleb put his t-shirt back on as he walked out of the room, Sylus right behind him.

The training sessions had only been going on for a couple weeks, but Caleb was making good progress. Incredible progress even. It seemed like he was bouncing back quickly.

His Evol wasn't reacting every time he woke up in a sweat from his nightmare, but it was getting harder for Sylus to push him emotionally so they could train his self control. He supposed, that was the point. That it would be harder to have his evol react to his high stress emotions.

As far as Sylus was concerned. Caleb wasn't ready. That's all. Thats the only reason he didn't want him to go yet. So he could make sure he was fulfilling the promise by looking after him. Sylus' thoughts were bitter.  It wasn't like they were friends, nor were they ever meant to be. It was best to just keep a distance. Eventually, he would come home, and Caleb wouldn't be here anymore. Back to the fleet, doing shady shit just like he was, living their lives parallel to each other without acknowledging the other ever existed or that they ever shared anything.  

Breakfast was quieter than usual.
Not that they usually ate breakfast together.
Though with Caleb around, he found himself sleeping earlier and waking earlier. 

But at the moment it was earlier in the morning then he was used to,  and it was only them awake together in the penthouse. Sylus had barely slept at all.

The pair no longer ate one chair apart, but side by side together.
Caleb couldn't escape the feeling that something was up with the other. The clink of utensils accompanied the silence that stretched thin. Caleb had reached his limit.

“You know I'm not made of glass? You can just tell me whats on your mind.” Caleb suddenly remarked setting his silverware down, more confrontational than he meant to be. 

Sylus avoided looking at him, pretending to be interested in his food stabbing at it a little roughly. He wasn't all that hungry. “You nearly bled out in my arms a month ago. Forgive me if I don't trust your self assessment.” His words were short, and full of pointed impatience.

“What’s up with you?” Caleb finally asked him a little more gently, pushing for him to talk to him.
Sylus didn’t look at him, cutting neatly into his next bite of food as if nothing was wrong. “Nothing. You're imagining things.” His voice was dismissive, but Caleb could still sense it. 

Caleb’s jaw tightened. “That’s a lie. You’ve been staring at me and on edge all morning. Do you think I don't notice when you're in a mood?” He drew a sharp breath, frustration biting through his words.

Sylus finally flicked his eyes to him, then back to his plate. If he was going to be accused of lying then he would lie for real.
“I'm just tired.”
Caleb scoffed, and rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair and losing interest in his food.
“Why don't you just tell me? What harm can it do? It's not like I'm not going to be around for much longer to use anything against you, since I don't need you anymore. I'll be out of your hair. You can go back to.. whatever it is you do.”

His words landed far heavier than he intended Or knew. Sylus’ tensed, but he didn’t answer, with his eyes on him Caleb caught the internal tension turn physical.
“Just finish your food Colonel. It's for me to worry about.” Sylus said a little more prickly than his last response.

Caleb set his utensil down with a sharp clatter. “Do you really think brushing me off is going to work forever? I can feel it, Sylus. You're on edge. If you’ve got something to say, then just. Say it.”

Sylus leaned back in his chair finally, expression carefully unreadable.
“You’re imagining things. You’re just restless, and you’re looking for a fight. If you want one, save it for the mats.”

That stung more than Caleb expected, the dismissal and accusation was like a shove. The way Sylus so easily twisted his intentions to him. He knew there was something wrong with Sylus. It wasn't just him, but self doubt filled him anyways. Was he looking for a fight? Why did he even bother pushing for Sylus to speak to him. He didn't know how to defend against this.

Every time he thought they were getting along he was shoved back, a fresh argument, fresh resentment. His shoulders tightened, and he pushed his chair back.
“Fine. Training, then.” his words coming out as a tense snap.

Sylus rose without another word, and the silence between them followed into the halls, close enough to brush shoulders. Both men ran their hands through their hair in unison mirroring each others action and refusing to look a the other.

The gym smelled faintly of chlorine, and was lit by the pool lights and overhead. The faint echo of their shoes spread through the empty room.
They had changed into better attire for sparring beforehand in a locker and shower room that shared the same floor.

Caleb rolled his shoulders and stretched, flexing his torso, as he stepped onto the mats. It felt good to be able to flex without accompanying pain from a wound or pull of bandages. Freeing actually.

“No evol this time,” he said flatly, not looking at Sylus. “Just sparring.”
Sylus tilted his head, studying him. “Afraid you’ll lose control?”

“Afraid you’ll keep holding back and using it to avoid me.” Caleb shot back.

“I don't have to now that you don't have any injuries that you need me to be careful with.” Sylus Snapped in return.

They circled each other, low and steady. The silence was louder than their footsteps. When Caleb lunged, Sylus caught his wrist, twisted, and they broke apart just as fast.

Their spar was a steady dance, sharp and practiced, neither giving ground. They had come to know one another movements and favorite starters.

But Caleb’s frustration simmered the same one that had followed him since breakfast, since being brushed off and gaslit, since being scolded by his General.

He pushed harder, quicker, hungrily driving Sylus back until their breath hitched in time with each strike. Caleb was feeling confident though, lighter, his strikes where sharp, clean and driven by his pride.

Something was definitely off with the gangster.

Sylus matched him, his body controlled like usual, but his eyes burned with something more complex. Neither seemed willing to give ground in their dance.

Sylus' moves weighed heavier and lacked the normal calculating blows, the dirty way he liked to play in his fights, was usually trickier and like a fun puzzle to guess for Caleb, but now he was pulling punches, fighting clean and by the book.

He wasn't using his usual tricks and tactics at all, and ignored opportunities that Caleb intentionally left open. It was like he didn't want to close the gap between them. Like he was keeping his distance even while they sparred.

“You can’t keep pretending nothing’s wrong,” Caleb panted,
He struck against him only to be met with a block,

“I'm not pretending.” Sylus snapped defensively, throwing a far heavier blow than he usually would, and hitting Caleb square through a block, 
“sure.” Caleb said rubbing his jaw where Sylus hit, then retaliating with a strike of his own, only to follow up with a lunge immediately.

It was a dirty trick. One that he picked up from Sylus, whose eyes widened. He had gotten used to Calebs always clean and meticulous trained method of fighting within the boundaries.

Their bodies collided with a heavy thud against the mats. Sylus’ back hit first, the air leaving his lungs in a sharp grunt as the impact resonated through him, the force causing the necklace to fall back against the mats with a tinkling sound and then soft thack onto the material.

Caleb could have taken the necklace here and now, but he didn't.

Instead he followed through, bracing his weight down, pinning Sylus’ wrists to the floor with a grip that was just shy of bruising. One cool hand and one hot against each wrist.

His grip was strong, and unyielding.

For a heartbeat, they both went still; panting, chest to chest, their legs tangled in the struggle, before they grappled on the ground. Caleb on the offense and Sylus in a defensive position.

Sylus could do nothing to break the hold. Caleb’s breath came hot against his neck, strands of his dark hair brushing against Sylus' jaw.
Sylus twisted beneath him, trying to buck him off, but Caleb held firm, his chest pressed tight to his. Every movement forcing more of their weight together, until Sylus could feel every line of his body. The strain pulled their bodies even tighter together, every movement dragging across hard muscle and lingering heat.

His Evol wasn’t what made Sylus’ pulse race; it was this closeness, this raw contact he shouldn’t want, and shouldn't get used to. He couldn't stop craving it.

Caleb lifted slightly just enough for Sylus to see the grin at his win.
“Got you.” Calebs voice was low, rough with exertion but edged with triumph and a little playfulness.

“Don’t get cocky.” Sylus scolded, trying to sneer but failing. His eyes met Caleb’s eyes. It was like the sun burned in them.

There was nothing playful in Sylus' returned gaze and the small grin Caleb had faltered.

It felt like Sylus was upset at him, and he couldn't help but feel like he was the one at fault for it. He instinctively wanted to fix whatever was wrong .

Sylus tugged against the hold, the closeness of the grapple was unbearable and his body was responding slightly and he could feel Caleb responding as well. Caleb’s breath brushed across his cheek, his skin was too warm, he was too near, and it set Sylus' skin on fire.

The room seemed to vanish from around them, and their labored breathing loud in the silence. Caleb shifted, pressing harder into the pin.

“Say it,” Caleb said quietly. “Whatever you’ve been holding back. I won so you have to tell me.”

Sylus met his stare, Caleb was unflinching and determined. “You're so fucking childish. Take your trinket and get off me.” He ordered his frustration coming through in his tone, trying to change the focus off himself. 

“I’m not leaving this mat until you tell me.” Caleb insisted. He would take the necklace back the way Sylus intended. In their drawn out weeks long game of keep away. This spar had a different purpose.

Sylus tensed under Caleb who could feel his every muscle “Fine. You're not ready to leave. You're not even close to stable with your Evol. So why are you acting like thats what you want so soon? You do still need me.”

The words hit harder than any strike.
Caleb’s grip faltered, but he forced it back, jaw set.

“You think you know what I want? You know Sylus, you can't just keep me here forever some kind of- of remnant.” He thought he had been doing well in their training. Only for this thought to be denied.

Sylus had been praising him, he had been able to pull back his Evol under high stress multiple times now. He hadn't had many involuntary waves of it in a little while now.

Sylus stared up at him. His own emotions surging inside.
“I don't want a remnant. I want you to prove that you can even keep yourself steady without needing me.” he argued defensively
“Do you think that I chose this? ” Caleb snapped squeezing Sylus' wrist slightly. “To be tethered and grounded by you every time my Evol slips?” his pride wavered.

“It’s not about that. I just... I just don’t trust you!” Sylus huffed with a snap in his tone that made Caleb flinch. “That you won’t just go back to the Fleet- and that you won't just burn yourself out, until there’s nothing left of you- the second that I-” His words broke.

Sylus bit down on the rest, literally biting his own lip. But Caleb could hear the truth bleeding through.

“-The second I let go. Is it really what you want? Do you think you don't need me...?” The last words came softer and unsure, almost unwilling, like they’d been torn from Sylus. His question seeking Calebs assurance.

Caleb hesitated, not sure how to even respond. 
Sylus’ confessing question echoed between them. It wasn't the answer to what he demanded though. His words were painful to hear, but, also made his heart pound.

“We aren't... We're not talking about what I want. Tell me.” Caleb pressed again, his thumb brushed lightly against the veins in Sylus' wrist feeling his unsteady rapid pulse. “Tell me what you want.” He said a little more quietly. Like a request.

The silence stretched; heavy, and aching. 
Finally, Sylus’ breath caught, his voice rasped. “I want you to stay.”

Caleb froze, Sylus' words in such a tone, made his heart twist miserably. He’d wanted to push Sylus to admit it, but hearing it out loud left him feeling like he was in Zero-G, His grip went slack, then tightened again like he couldn’t decide which way to move.

The silence between them turned molten, charged. Caleb stayed on top of him, still straddling him from the grapple. “Neither of us get to decide that,” Caleb finally said softly in return, slipping behind duty as an excuse and shaking his head “The fleet owns me. You should know that.” He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Sylus'.

Something in Sylus cracked finally. He wasn't strong enough to handle the strain of holding back anymore, of pretending indifference. His emotions were overflowing. He bit his teeth together, as if to stop the words, but these fragile and dangerous words slipped past anyway.
For a moment his voice was barely more than a whisper, as though divine punishment would strike him down the instant he gave them form.

“I want...to be the one you need...”

The confession pulled from somewhere deeper than pride or defiance. He hated how exposed it made him feel.
The syllables tasted like surrender; an admission he had subconsciously swore he would never make.

The rest of his words were stolen by the pounding of his heart.
There was no taking it back now. Sylus had denied him before, denied himself, but this time the truth had slipped free.

Caleb felt caught up in the admission. It caught him off guard with how it made him feel, a surge of emotions writhed within him, and his breath faltered. His heart beating hard, he let go of one of Sylus' wrists and cupped his face with a warm hand, his thumb traced his jawline.

His gaze softened with need, that he had been masking, and his intention was clear and Sylus accepted it.

His freed hand went to Calebs shirt, fingers curling into the material tightly. For how long had he craved him? Since that night? It was difficult to pinpoint, a feeling, a craving, that had been denied.

Calebs lips met Sylus' not aggressively, or roughly like before. It was tender in a way that sent a shiver through his body. Caleb licked at his lips, urging Sylus to part them, and then deepened the kiss, and their saliva mixed as they tasted one another. It lacked the taste of blood or hatred that the previous affections had.

Caleb didn't know why he did it; just following his overwhelming urges to seal those words with his lips.

It had only been a month and a week, maybe a month and a half at most. Sylus never imagined his heart could change in so little time; not after her.

Not for him, not for Caleb.
Healing wasn’t the right word; nothing about this emotion, made either man feel clean or mended.
The wound was still there, raw and aching, carved too deep to ever close and cauterized by guilt.

Sylus still couldn’t bring himself to open the door of her room, couldn’t stand the silence waiting inside; and he was sure, that for Caleb it was the same.

Something had shifted. The white-hot rage that once filled every corner of him had dulled, not gone, but buried beneath care. The unbearable pull of needing someone, of companionship, when he had resolved with himself he would never allow someone to stand by his side, where she was supposed to be.

When Caleb kissed him, it wasn’t a vying of dominance, or a rival asserting himself. It was hesitant, and careful, and savoring.
Sylus felt as if the ground shifted beneath him. He felt, wanted.

Grief and tenderness collided all at once. Her memory hovered at the edges of his mind, delicate and insistent, just like how she was while alive.
But Caleb was here. Warm, and present. Sylus felt he was impossible to push away, because, he didn’t want to.

His heart tightened with the weight of it all.

The betrayal of her,

The betrayal of his own resolve.

Yet beneath that, was a quiet ache, a revelation he couldn’t ignore.

Despite how broken it was, he held Caleb in his heart.

A tear slipped from the corner of his eye and Calebs fingers cupped his face, brushing it away.

Caleb couldn't handle his own emotions well at all; but when it came to understanding and empathizing with someone else, and taking care of them and their feelings, it was as easy for him. He had begun to understand Sylus, more deeply than he would have ever imagined while staying here.

In this moment, he understood in someway, that they needed each other.

Caleb shifted against him and Sylus' fingers tightened in his grip on Caleb’s shirt as if holding him there could make sense of the conflicting emotions inside him.

Caleb’s hand slid into his white hair, running his fingers through, grounding him, steadying the tremor in his breath.

Caleb kissed him once more as he brushed his hair back, slow and deliberately. And Sylus came undone. He kissed him back with a desperation. Lips parting, meeting Caleb’s in a rhythm that was wasn't careful but wasn't violent. Just needing.

Caleb’s body was warm against his, heated by more than just their spar.

The sharpness of Calebs scent, his cologne and apple scented bodywash that Sylus had become familiar with, the steady thrum of his pulse. Sylus' senses were overwhelmed by him.

He hated how much he wanted it. How much he craved it. Yet he pulled him nearer, craving the contact, craving the certainty of someone who had walked through the same fire as him.

When Caleb finally drew back, only far enough to rest his forehead against Sylus’ again, his voice was barely above a whisper.

“I wish I could stay.”

The words easily finished unraveling what little resistance Sylus had left. His answer was another kiss, fiercer this time, a confession in its own right.

The heat between them built, the air thick with unspoken words; hands wandering, long past the point of restraint.

Caleb could feel his reactions beneath him. He was half hard during the struggle when they sparred, but now he could feel him fully stiff against him as he straddled him. Caleb shifted again, and pulled back his breath was heavy, and he could feel tension in his abdomen from his own arousal. straining against his gym shorts.

He looked down at Sylus, their eyes locking. Caleb’s voice came low, and steady; not commanding but full of intent.
“Stand up. Lean your back, against the mirror.” His thumb brushed across Sylus’ jaw, with one hand, and the other hand, brushing over his sensitive wrist, coaxing, not forcing. “I’ll do something nice for you.”

For a moment, Sylus didn’t move. His breath caught, red eyes flickering with something unreadable; doubt, resistance, the instinct to shove him away like before. Caleb felt the tension in his body, the unspoken war raging behind his silence.

“Caleb…” Sylus began, his voice rasped, uncertain. But he didn’t finish the thought. Caleb’s hand lingered at his cheek, sliding to the side of his neck, warm, and patient.

With a slow, reluctant motion, Sylus shifted back until he was standing, the mirror met his shoulders with a muted thud. He couldn't take his eyes off Caleb who remained knelt in front of him.

Caleb’s lips curved faintly, not in victory, but in understanding. He placed a steady palm against Sylus’ thigh, his hand slipping slightly beneath the bottom edge of the shorts, and squeezing lightly, grounding him.

He pressed his face against his inner thigh and slid the material, up, until his lips could make contact with skin, and he licked and kissed him there; sending chills scattering through Sylus.

Caleb looked up at him again and Sylus' breath hitched as he gazed back. Watching him with slightly wide eyes as Caleb turned and caressed his skin with his lips again.

His breath was heavy and warm.

He moved further north and his heated breath sank through the fabric against his bulge. Feeling the weight of him press his face against it through the material as Calebs hand slid from his thigh up to the band and he dragged it down until Sylus' cock sprang free from the confines of his clothes.

The cool air of the gym hit his sensitive skin and it sent another chill through him, and Caleb pressed his face against the side of it, for a moment, looking back up at him.

Sylus' heart was beating a million times a second now. His head was blank and heavy with arousal as Calebs piercing gaze met his eyes. Calebs eyes devoured him, pulling him in. He couldn't look away. Completely captured by the moment, by Caleb.

Sylus had never seen a man so attractive as Caleb. Something he had, never dared to admit intentionally even to himself. A fleeting though that only passed over his mind while satisfying his most primal urges. His most private inner thoughts. Even before, when their roles were as rivals. Even he wasn't immune to his charisma.

A blush had spread over Calebs face, and neck, his shoulders, and Sylus felt a strange sense of triumph in himself for being the one to make him look like that. Caleb pressed one hand against the mirror behind Sylus, to keep himself steady, and his other blushing warm hand wrapped around his base steadying and controlling his cocks position.

Calebs movements were slow and deliberate, he pressed his lips to the base and kissed, with tongue, before licking along the underside from balls to tip, before reaching the head, tasting the salt of skin and sweat.

Sylus shivered and closed his eyes in anticipatory pleasure, this felt unreal. Calebs tongue spread slightly just under the head to the frenulum forming a small suction against this sensitive point. Sylus let out a small vocal gasp, that made Calebs heart skip beats; Sylus silenced his voice with the back of his own hand covering his mouth.

Heavy breaths, Sylus' pleasured voice and calebs sucking was the only sound in the gym. It was so perverse and erotic. Sylus was quivering, charged with pleasure, while Caleb's movements were steady.

He took him deeper into his mouth, lowering his eyes as he focused on the motion; dipping his head, sucking him in. His soft lips wrapped tightly around his girth, not too tightly, but not too little.

“C-caleb-” Sylus gasped his name shocked at how good it felt. Caleb worked his talented tongue along the bottom of his cock as he dipped, making Sylus tremble involuntarily.

Golden boy indeed.

The light feeling of his teeth brushed against his length, not scraping or rough but a pleasurable sensation, before Caleb adjusted to avoid them.

The hand that was pressed to the mirror shifted to the back of his thigh squeezing him, as the head of his cock hit the back of Calebs throat not fully sheathed to the base.
For a moment Sylus was almost relieved.
He thought Caleb would stop there
and draw back, reduce the pressure building,
But he didn't.

Instead he forced his manhood deeper, water gathering at the corner of his eyes at the strain as he resisted gagging.

His tight throat stretching to accommodate his cock, bulging slightly from his size. Sylus couldn't help his moan with a low reverberating tone that sounded so foreign to himself as he did.

A sincere vocalization of pleasure, that ran straight through Caleb to his very core. Sylus' hips bucked involuntarily, at the pace that was now achingly slow and he could feel Calebs throat tighten on him as it made him gag lightly. His hand finding its way into his soft dark brown hair.
Caleb slid his hand down from the back of his thigh, and loosed his own cock from his shorts, and gripped himself as he worked Sylus with his mouth; jerking himself off as he did.

He increased the pace gradually, coaxing Sylus to the edge of ecstasy,
Caleb drew back, before Sylus finally gripped his hair in reaction to feeling his head leave the tightness of his throat.

Forcing Caleb to slow down,

but then it wasn't satisfying.

Sylus pulled him back, letting him breathe and Caleb kissing and sucking his tip, smearing precum on his lips, before he pulled him with both hands, one on each side of his face, glancing down at him. He wanted to control the pace. There was a certain juxtaposition in having control and also having lost all of it to him, despite him kneeling for him. Servicing him. He felt strangely rewarded for his honesty. 

Calebs watery twilight eyes met with his crimson; both had a pleasure dazed expression. An image of the man kneeling in front of him would burn into his memory for the rest of his life. Something that would flash through his mind every time he stroked himself.

Caleb nodded lightly just once.

Sylus pushed, and Caleb took care to make sure Sylus didn't scrape it on his teeth; his cock hitting deep into his throat, making him take the full length, making him choke on it as his throat was violated by such a large thing.

He thrust again deep wanting this sensation forever, wanting to be deeper.

Sylus leaned forward over Caleb and humped, thrusting harder fucking that tight throat and holding him in place; and Caleb moaned against him, as his hand worked himself, matching the pace; Sylus could feel his vocal resonate against him.

Feeling overstimulated by the moment Sylus' steady pace faltered, he tried to pull back, he was already on the verge of cumming.
The head of his cock was still in Calebs mouth and he looked down watching Caleb as he uttered a soft vocal tone and squeezed his eyes closed, cumming onto the mats at his feet. His movement was erotic, the way he tensed, that honest pleasured sound even muffled by his cock pushed Sylus closer. Precum was dripping onto Calebs tongue at the sight of it.

Sylus wanted it to last longer, wanted Caleb kneeling in front of him longer; trying to indulge in all his greed at once. Seeing him in the throes of pleasure, hearing him, pulled him hard to the edge.

Caleb shifted, and his tongue worked against him, “Wait-” He gasped out at Caleb focused back on him with his mouth his hands gripping his hips, free from the task of self pleasure.
The head of his cock was so sensitive. Saliva, and precum dripped down Calebs chin from the corner of his mouth and Sylus desperately gripped him harder as his first rope loosed into Calebs mouth,

“I'm cumming- Don't- Cahh-” Sylus gasped out Calebs name broken on his lips as Caleb dipped his head and Sylus' hips betrayed him and he thrust in instinctively his orgasm peaking; he buried it completely into his throat, his cock throbbed and swelled; his hot cum spurting in waves into his stomach. It was no small amount.

“You're so good-” His voice shivered as he praised him, his knees nearly buckling from pleasure. His praise making Calebs heart beat heavier.

He held Caleb to himself for a moment his cock buried in his throat twitched and throbbed in aftershock. He was panting heavily, but Caleb tapped his hips wanting air, and he pulled out, quivering in pleasure. He watched as Caleb panted on the floor recovering, swallowing, using the back of his wrist to wipe the corner of his mouth.

Sylus leaned back against the mirror, tipping his head back against it recuperating. His legs felt weak, and his mind completely blank, he was trying to regain some of his clarity. His heart was pounding in his chest, and it wasn't slowing down.

Caleb sat back on the mat eyes on Sylus, he had a little more clarity, since he was the one paying him lip service.

It felt good to be the one making Sylus come undone for once and turn the tables on him, he thought, as he licked the taste of him off his teeth.
For a minute they both sat in a comfortable silence while they recovered from the intensity and pleasure of what had been done.

Caleb still half-expected the shove, the clipped dismissal, the cold retreat.

The rejection that always seemed to follow when they got too close. His body tensed for it, braced like a soldier anticipating the blow.

But Sylus didn’t.

He didn’t look away, didn’t spit out some cutting remark to drive him back into place. He just stood there, staring down at Caleb as if caught between fight and surrender, his chest rising unevenly.

When Caleb finally pushed himself upright moving to stand, Sylus extended a hand. Such a simple gesture. There was a certain sense of excitement in him at this simple offering.

But still he hesitated, was it okay to reach out to him again? He worried, and Sylus seemed to catch on. He closed the distance himself and took Calebs hand in his, and helped him to his feet. Their hands lingered together for a moment and Sylus looked down at Calebs hand in his.

It wasn’t the same silence they usually shared edged with heaviness and denial. This one held them both steady.

Sylus finally turned, Caleb's hand still in his, pulling him; and he followed behind, as Sylus grabbed a hand towel from the half wall, and handed it to him without a word before letting his hand free.

His voice, when it came, was low and it was attentive.
It wasn’t affection. Not exactly. But Caleb felt it anyway, threading between them into the spaces where rejection and grief live.

“Come on. You need water.”

Chapter Text

Caleb sat in a lounge that he had grown fond of while staying with Sylus. Mephisto was perched on the back of the sofa he sat on watching him. The faint rustles of paper was the only sound in the quiet space that he had claimed. His fingers worked absently, creasing and folding a crimson sheet. The repetition steadied him, even if his mind refused to quiet. How many years had he been folding these paper birds? He couldn't even recall entirely. 
Paper in his small uncoordinated hands under the cold light of a lab, a cane hitting his wrists harshly. Forcing him to use the unsteady undeveloped Evol of a child, to do it with precision. 

His hand stilled and Mephisto croaked at him. He shook his head shaking off the memories. That was behind him. He was here now. An adult man, doing it how he liked. With his own hands.


Sleep had been elusive. Every time he closed his eyes, the memory of Sylus’ voice, his confession, pressed him. Caleb felt like he had done well for him.

I want to be the one you need.

Caleb could still hear it looping through him like a fever dream. Sylus' voice was raw, and unraveling.

He wasn’t sure what to do with it, whether he should bury that memory or not.

He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. It was a memory that made his heart beat harder, like a betrayal of his own body.

His soldiers discipline said, to push it back in his mind and compartmentalize it. That it was done.
Time to move on.

It was just pleasure.

Thats all.

But a different side of him, craved the closeness. Sylus' grounding presence. He had been surviving, half shattered under Sylus' watch; but the intimacy between them filled the cracks like molten gold.

He wanted to savor him.

To see if it was real.
If it could be repeated.

He wouldn't know how to talk to him, or what to do if he saw him right now.

A sharp croak pulled him back once more. Mephisto tilted his head, one beady eye fixed on him judging. Caleb smirked faintly.

“Back to you again, huh?” He held up the paper crow “Not good enough yet?” His throat was a little raw, and bruised so his voice came out slightly raspy.

Mephi shuffled closer on the table and snapped his beak at the paper, tugging it right out of Caleb’s hand. The crow shook it, scattering the folds and partially undoing it. Then dropped it on Caleb’s lap with a croak that sounded suspiciously like disapproval.

Caleb huffed a soft laugh, “Harsh critic. Guess you want perfection, too? Just like your master? Give me a break it's my first ever paper crow.”

He tried again, refolding more carefully this time. Mephi leaned in to watch, feathers puffed, croaking in short, impatient bursts whenever Caleb’s fingers hesitated. When the red crow finally took shape again, this time a bit better, and he held it in his palm.
“Better?”

Mephisto clacked his beak together a couple of times, and used it to nudge the paper bird upright. Satisfied with the work, he bobbed his head and then hopped onto Caleb’s shoulder, settling there with a weight that Caleb found was comforting.

The crow rubbed his beak along Caleb’s cheek, as if sensing the unease inside him.

“I'm alright.” he assured the bird.

Caleb gazed at the little origami crow in his hand. “Don’t look at me like that. I'll have to go eventually. Even if I wanted to, I can't stay.” His voice was firm, but his heart felt a pang of hurt at his own affirmation.

Mephi croaked low in his ear, like a disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah,” Caleb muttered, rubbing the bird’s neck with the edge of one of his index finger. “Guess even you don’t want to accept that.”

Caleb let out a tired breath. His thumb brushing absent circles against Mephisto's glossy feathers. The crow leaned into the touch, croaking softly, and for a moment Caleb almost envied the bird’s simplicity; His loyalty was unshaken and uncomplicated.

At the edge of the room, Sylus leaned against the archway, quietly watching, arms crossed loosely, one hand lightly playing with the tags he wore that Caleb hadn't taken back yet.

His eyes weren’t on Mephisto though. They were fixated on Caleb, his gaze traveling along his shoulders and up the curve of his neck, and the restless movement of Calebs hands.

For weeks their day had begun in the medbay, Caleb perched on the table while Sylus unwound or replaced bandages with steady, methodical hands. That ritual had become a rhythm of its own, a tether disguised as necessity. But now Caleb no longer needed it. No wound to tend; no excuse to touch.

Just empty space where the ritual had been.

Sylus felt it keenly.

The absence, the change in routine that he had created, for Calebs health.

He’d slept little, lying awake, his mind replaying Caleb’s mouth on him. The erotic glances as their eyes met. It felt so good he saw stars.

He had never in his life been brought to orgasm like that. The feeling was still fresh in his body, his own words echoing in his mind until dawn.

'I want to be the one you need. '

Foolish.

Irretrievable.

He didn’t regret it. Not exactly, but he didn't feel good about it. It was complicated. He did feel good about it, but his feeling was accompanied by many other emotions all conflicting with one another.

He always thought emotions are like wild animals. Some soft and small and fragile, some aggressive feral and untamed, and they tore each other apart in the cage of the heart they were trapped in.

Mephisto noticed him, head swiveling, eyes sharp. The crow gave a small croak as if announcing him. Caleb glanced over his shoulder where Mephi directed his attention, and straightened a little when he saw Sylus hovering there. How long had he been there he wondered.

“I didn't expect you to be up so early.” Caleb commented. His voice was a little low from fatigue and raw throat. But faintest trace of a smirk tugged at his mouth. “You're usually still sleeping around this time.”

Sylus pushed off the frame at last. So he was aware of his habits then. He took slow steps carrying himself into the lounge.

“I could say the same about you. Though I suppose bedrest isn't necessary any longer.”

His gaze lingered on the red origami crow in Calebs hands. “I see you’ve made good use of the morning while I was still asleep.”

Caleb raised a brow, watching as Sylus leaned and held his hand out and Caleb passed it to him, their fingers brushing lightly as he took it.

“It's not exactly work intensive stuff.” Caleb said to him. “Just something I do out of habit.”
“Still.” Sylus said, his tone was light, but tension lingered at the edges of his words. He let the silence stretch before adding, “It's strange not dragging you to the medbay.”
Caleb blinked. So they were feeling the same way about the shift in the routine. He glanced over at Mephisto, then back at Sylus.

“…It is Strange. I got used to your routine.”

The crow croaked again, shuffling along Caleb’s shoulder, as if trying to fill the silence that followed.

Sylus circled behind him, coaxing Mephi off with a quiet click of his tongue. The creature hopped readily into his hand, croaking once more before Sylus carried him toward a perch. His touch was gentle as he brushed the glossy midnight feathers smooth, buying himself time.

When he turned back, his gaze fell to the table in front of Caleb. A delicate white crane. Sylus had already claimed the crow, he tucked it away in his pocket with the same weight he gave to knives and gems, and other keepsakes. But the crane resting there, snagged his attention as well. It wasn't any different, than any of the other cranes Caleb folded, but for some reason this one attracted him.

Without asking, he reached down. Caleb’s eyes flicked up, and in the next second the origami lifted away right before Sylus’ fingers could claim it, floating just out of reach.
“Really?” Sylus’ tone challenged Caleb as his mouth crooked playfully.
Caleb leaned back into the sofa, using two fingers to twirl the paper bird through the air giving it the flight it deserved.

“You already took my first ever paper crow. How Greedy.” His tone was a little mischievous.

Sylus eyes tracked the crane as it drifted higher, his hand following in lazy pursuit.

He wasn’t in the mood to fight for it; at least not like this, but something about the way Caleb’s eyes lit up just a little, lured him into the game. He couldn't help but play chase.

“Greedy?” His tone sharpened with amusement. “Says the man who won’t share.” He stretched again, fingers brushing empty air as the crane darted away. “You must have been spending too much time with the Twins.” Sylus said in slight disbelief.

A sense of weightlessness passed through Sylus’ stomach. He wasn’t used to being denied what he reached for. Not by Caleb. Not by anyone. He caught Caleb watching him, his eyes had a certain expectancy. As if he was daring him.

Caleb continued to guide the crane just out of his reach. Just when he could feel it against his fingertips, and he was sure he finally got it, the papercrane would escape him.

The faintest smirk tugged at Calebs lips. Sylus tracked the crane with his eyes sharply focusing on it. Determined to win this game. Stepping in closer, his movement was deceptively casual though his eyes betrayed the intent.

He’d played this game before.

Reach,

deny,

repeat.

He couldn't help but feel how it mirrored everything between them.

His shins met the edge of the sofa suddenly. He had been so focused on the crane that he didn't watch his own feet. He could feel his balance tipping, Sylus gasped and faltered. Caleb’s hand shot out, steadying him. He could feel the weightlessness of his Evol around him and he slowly adjusted steadying himself awkwardly; unused to the lack of resistance when there was no weight of gravity.

In the same motion Caleb pulled him down. The Apple tag dangled between them and the crane hovered to the side in Calebs palm. Sylus lost focus on the paper bird though. The sudden nearness distracting him.

Calebs hand gripped the necklace tugging Sylus lower.

“The conditions haven't... They haven't changed.” Sylus said, though his unsure flustered emotions came out in his voice.

“I know...” Caleb said quietly, his fingers stroking the metal. It was warm with Sylus' bodyheat.

Sylus' pulse hammered in his ears, he braced his weight over Caleb, hand gripping the back of the sofa, the urge to kiss him, was overwhelming, but he pushed himself back to a proper standing position.

He was feeling, caught up in his orbit. He was like a star helplessly circling a black hole. Caleb was unexpectedly alluring, and he didn't know how to react to him. His heart obviously still belonged to her, as did his own.

“I thought I was the greedy one.” Sylus said with warmth spreading through the back of his neck. Maybe what they did the previous morning, was just some stress relief. Something that didn't mean anything; just a break from their complicated emotions.

There was a sudden sense of embarrassment in himself as he considered that thought.

Did... anything they did matter to Caleb? Was he the only one, that was feeling there was more to it than just simple stress relief?

Caleb was used to being surrounded by men... Used to using them that way. Was his craving just some kind of one sided coping mechanism born from grief? His eyes studied Caleb trying to seek answers.

Caleb floated the crane to Sylus, who opened his hand, and it plopped down into his open palm willingly.

The playful spark between them had died just as quickly as it formed.
His gaze didn’t wander back to Caleb right away. He had been distracted by the game from his real purpose.

He let out a slow breath, as he gathered himself. “Get your uniform on.” His voice was quiet and steady.

Caleb tilted his head, wary. “Why?” His eyes glanced over Sylus, realizing he was dressed sharper than usual. Completely formal. He was wearing a full suit, jacket vest and tie. His eyes lingered on the sharp edges of the clothing that fit him so well.
A muscle twitched in Sylus' jaw, as he pocketed the crane with the crimson crow. He looked at Caleb.

Really looked at him.
He was bracing for an unpleasant reaction. “Because there’s somewhere I want to take you.”

Caleb straightened, his pulse quickening. Sylus hadn't offered to take him anywhere like this.

“I’ll drive.” The words carried resolve and then, softer, almost reluctantly, he followed up with “We’re going to her grave.”

The air seemed to thin in Caleb’s lungs. His body went still, he felt cold for a moment. Memories pressed at the fragile walls he’d built to keep the emotions tied to them contained. He swallowed hard.

But then his gaze lifted to Sylus. He wasn’t being sent alone. Sylus' presence was steady, and grounding. The promise of an anchor when his heart threatened to crack. The thought of facing her, terrified him. But if Sylus was there, maybe he wouldn’t drown.

He could, rely on Sylus to keep him grounded. Catch him, if he fell.

Caleb exhaled slowly, tension pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Alright.”

---

Before they left, Sylus lingered in his room in silence. He set the crimson paper crow beside the white crane on a table.

He adjusted them with more care than he would ever admit, leaving the two shapes angled toward one another as though they belonged there, together. The edge of his cheeks felt warm as he looked at them.

He was being stupid. They were only paper birds. They didn't really matter to him. Obviously. But then why did he even take them?

Caleb couldn't stay forever. That was never the intention from the beginning. The fleet owned him. He had important duties to fulfill, he had a highly demanding job that demanded enormous chunks of his time.

Sylus concluded that yesterday was just, a soldier blowing off steam. Being confined for so long must have made him restless. So Caleb probably just wanted, some release. That's all it was, and he allowed himself to be caught up and pulled in by him.

He had to reiterate to himself.
Thats all.
Thats all it was.

He heard Caleb tap on the door and let himself in, and Sylus straightened sharply, before he crossed the room to lead the way out.

The drive was quiet. His luxury car purred beneath them, the grungy cityscape of N109, gambling and red light districts, bars and dead zones, sliding past tinted glass. Turning into lush forest that separated Linkon, and N109 zone. Caleb sat stiff in the passenger seat, hands folded in his lap, his uniform collar sharp against his throat. Sylus leaned back behind the wheel, one hand draped loosely over the leather, his gaze was fixed forward, his profile unreadable.

They hadn't exchanged a single word. Sylus could sense his tension, the uniform seemed to change the way he held himself and acted. Like he wasn't relaxed or couldn't. He sat straight but the drive was long, and eventually he leaned on the window watching as the car carried them.

He had to say, something.

The silence was eating them both alive. He was worried about Caleb spiraling before they even got there. Sylus needed to give him some kind of, focus. A purpose. The books were really driving home the point of, providing a purpose. A task. Something to give directed attention towards.
“I know a place where we can buy flowers on the way.” Sylus said taking a turn.

“That's great.” Caleb muttered, obviously not in the mood for small talk.

Sylus let out a small sigh to himself and guided the vehicle

Inside the shop it smelled like a mixture of different flowers, until the scent could literally only be described as “flowers” and nothing specific.

Caleb found himself lingering too long in front of the buckets as the joyful colors called for his attention. It was fall, and none of them were in season. Fingers brushing against stems. He already knew, what flowers he would lay on her grave, he chose white hydrangeas the moment Sylus said he knew a place; but he was dragging his feet.

Delaying.

Sylus never asked questions. He didn't make comments.

He just paid, sliding some bills across the counter, to the blushing clerk that had arranged his roses.  He shoved a bouquet into Caleb's arms with the hydrangea, before turning to the door and opening it for Caleb to go out carrying both bouquets.

Back in the car, silence pressed in again. Calebs mind went around in circles, taking him downward, when Sylus finally spoke again.

"When we're finished," his voice even, "you choose. Straight back to HQ if you'd like. Or somewhere else. Up to you."

The offer weighed between them, more than it should have. Caleb glanced back at him, but Sylus didn't elaborate. He had only a subtle tension to his jaw and a twitch of his fingers on the wheel before they became still again.

Caleb wondered if Sylus was aware of his mental spiraling.

He shifted the flowers on his lap, caressing the petals with his fingers. He was aware that if he returned to HQ now, he'd get caught up in his head, and he wasn't sure he would be ready to face the peacefulness of the penthouse, nor cheerfulness of the twins.

"Somewhere else," he said at last, more softly than he intended. He glanced at Sylus and noticed the faint clench of his jaw. "If I go back now, I'll just. drown."

Sylus’ grip on the wheel tightened just slightly as well, a small shift Caleb might not have noticed if he hadn’t been watching him. His eyes stayed on the road.

"Then we don't go back," Sylus said, smooth and certain. "I won't let you drown."

The words reached deeper than simple reassurance. Caleb didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. The silence that fell was heavy between them. As usual Sylus was clutching his composure like a shield, like he always did.

By the time they got there, Caleb's nerves were shot. His chest was tight, and his head was spinning with anxiety.

What if he couldn't handle his grief.

What if he broke down.

What if he damaged her grave. Or someone elses?

They walked side by side, Caleb carrying both bouquets. Sylus did not request his, and Caleb caught himself wondering if that was intentional.

What if he hurt himself on accident like before.

Maybe Sylus, knew that holding the flowers gave Caleb a focal point. He thought of the stack of psychology textbooks on Sylus' desk, and wondered how extensively Sylus actually read any of them.

What if Sylus wasn't enough to ground him this time.

The sky was gray, but the light felt more suffocating than Caleb remembered. Too bright. He had gotten used to the dark world of N109, where even the sun seemed like it had been stolen from the sky. There was no place in the sky the sun could exist without the deepspace tunnel warping its light away from that zone specifically except during dawn and dusk.

The closer they got to the cemetery gates, the tighter Caleb's chest grew. Gravel crunched loudly underfoot, and every step felt like it had a sense of finality to it that twisted his stomach. Caleb held the hydrangeas and roses close, cradling them.

What if he hurt Sylus on accident instead?

At last, he cracked. "Why now?" His voice was gruffer than he meant it to be. He stared ahead, eyes on the thin trail leading on, and cleared his throat.

Caleb’s question lingered in the cool air between them.

Sylus didn’t answer right away. One hand slipped into his heavy coat pocket as they walked, his stride slowed slightly.

Finally, he exhaled through his nose and spoke without looking at Caleb.

“Because if I went before… it would’ve broken me.” The edges of his voice frayed. “I thought anger would carry me forever.” His words were honest. “But then with you... it doesn’t feel like I’m walking alone lately.”

Caleb's grip on the flowers grew tighter, the plastic and paper wrapping betraying him, and crinkling loudly. The words settled heavy in his chest, more so than he wanted to admit. At that moment, he desired nothing more than to close the gap between them, grasp Sylus' hand and hold him fast. His fingers twitched, clenching into a fist at his side.

Sylus noticed. Of course he did. He had been hyper aware of Caleb since the moment he watched his blood hit concrete that day. Or maybe even further back than that.

Calebs words telling Mephisto he couldn't stay lingered at the back of his mind. His sharp eyes dropped, then came back up. He made no remark, merely lengthened his step, walking a little closer until his shoulder brushed against Caleb's.

Caleb didn't step away, keeping the close distance. His anxiety that was twisting him, easing just a little.

What if she, hates him in the afterlife for craving affection from someone else?

Caleb swallowed halting in his step "I don't know if I can do this." he admitted with low voice, hugging the flowers. Shame wrapped itself around his words. "I don't know what will happen."

Sylus stopped with him. A large tree blazing with orange fall leaves, shaded them from the clouds.

"Then I'll be present." said Sylus. Simple, and steady. “You've been doing well in the training. Now's the real deal. You'll be okay. And if not, I'll make sure it doesn't get out of hand.” Sylus said softly in an assuring tone.

Caleb nodded his throat, felt too tight to speak. The wind filled the silence between them, rustling leaves and loosing some from the branches, they drifted between them.

“Come on.” Sylus urged quietly and Caleb followed.

They walked on in silence. Caleb's hand hung at his side, warmth buzzing from Sylus' nearness. The urge to close the distance was spiraling with him, when he felt Sylus hook his pinky against his own. The small contact was significant.

Caleb’s chest tightened, caught between the weight of grief and the fragile thread of connection weaving between them. His other arm squeezing the bouquets as his pinky tightened around Sylus'.

Sylus' face felt warm, and he acted casual like he thought nothing of it. It was just to ground Caleb. Offer him a distraction that's all. He just needed to be there for him.

Finally, they came to a stand still, before her stone. Caleb froze up.

Her name and birthday and death were carved into it, as far as Linkon knew, she had no family. They raised this stone, beside Calebs, and the old womans. Two graves full of ash and one empty. He gently took the roses out of Calebs arms.

Instead of just laying the bouquet down he took one rose and ripped the head off of it, and scattered the petals, across the top and base of the stone and he knelt down in front of her.

“M...I'm sorry I haven't come sooner. It seems like your many friends have visited before either of us. So at least you weren't alone.”
He said to it. A heavy one sided conversation. His eyes looked at the flowers that were already there.
"I know how you hated to be alone at any moment."
Trumpet lilies, seashells and sanddollars, a crystal of ice. There were other flowers as well. Sylus laid roses individually against the grave one at a time.

“I never imagined. That I would ever see you here first. I always thought I would be the one that ended up leaving you behind. But I remembered our promise.” His voice wavered in the silence. Caleb just stared clutching the hydrangeas in both arms, he had been holding his breath and reminded himself to just breathe, the way that Sylus had told him, many times. His eyes lingered on Sylus' back as he spoke.

“I've been taking good care of our promise. Don't worry-” He choked and a tear dripped out of his crimson eye. He had been holding it together, for Calebs sake the entire drive but he was just as mixed up as the other man. Calebs stomach twisted in knots hearing Sylus' tone and seeing his usual composure shed. Sylus' shoulders quivering snapped him out of his shellshock. It was as if their roles, were reversing. Sylus was the one, that was having a hard time holding it together right now.
Sylus felt Caleb kneel beside him laying down the Hydrangeas with delicate care and then several papercranes he had tucked away in his pockets. His own tears threatened to drip. He understood the grief so deeply, to his very soul.

“we even eat together-” Caleb said quietly in a shivering voice from beside him, adding to the conversation. “I guess even now, in this way, you're showing me something new. I never thought we would ever get along- but we even play around like old pals sometimes.”

Sylus took a moment and wiped his tears away, as Caleb paused.
“I wish you made us get along better. Before. It would have saved the man a lot of trouble you know?”

Caleb’s laugh broke into the quiet air, thin and sad. The sound of it tugged at Sylus in a way he couldn’t mask. He turned his head, just enough to really look at him, Caleb kneeling there with damp lashes, clutching at composure. 
“I guess you never expected me to be your final promise.” Caleb said, unsure if he was speaking to Sylus, or the grave.

Sylus let out a breath that trembled despite his will. “You know…” his voice was low, meant for the stone, but it faltered, “…I don’t know if I can forgive you for leaving me. But I can’t stop… needing you. And now I can't stop...” His hand brushed over the flowers. His words wouldn't come out. Stuck in the knot in his throat.

And now I can’t stop needing him, either.

He couldn't say it.

The half spoken words hung in the air. Caleb stilled, his heart squeezed, but instead of pulling away, he leaned closer, their shoulders brushing. Just that light contact. No words, no explanations. No need for them.

That small warmth and comfort quietly unraveled them both.

“Can you ever forgive me for letting someone else take care of me?” Caleb whispered to her.

For a moment, the silence between them was tender and gentle. Caleb’s hand twitched, denying the urge to reach for Sylus. 

And then the crunch of gravel behind them shattered the moment. Calebs shoulders squaring and his back straightening. A gentle male voice called, uncertain, laced with disbelief.
“Caleb?”

Caleb stood quickly leaving Sylus on his own. Caleb had hardly straightened his back only for arms to be thrown around him. A bouquet of jasmines fell to the ground. A familiar heavy black coat, black hair. Shockingly green eyes.
“Zayne-” Caleb returned the embrace and Sylus' eyes lingered on the familiarity they shared.

Sylus stayed kneeling at the grave, the ghost of Caleb’s shoulder still warm against his own.

He rose slowly, deliberate, forcing his soft expression back into the stoic mask of Onychinus’ leader. His eyelashes still wet from his tears.

The stranger’s arms closed around Caleb like they’d always belonged there. That black coat, those green eyes, someone who carried the past with Caleb. Someone tied not just to Caleb, but to her. He knew who he was, it was hard not to since he was a medical genius. They had never officially met. Her doctor friend. He had helped Onychinus on occasion, at her request, but not for any situations he personally had dealt with, or was even present for.

Sylus felt unnaturally tense. His hand curled briefly into a fist at his side, nails biting his palm. He hated the way it clawed at him, the raw flare of jealousy, the sting of being left kneeling like some forgotten thing while Caleb was folded into another man’s embrace, their bodies sharing the comforting warmth he felt was supposed to belong to him in that interrupted moment.

He told himself it was nothing, that it meant nothing. Just old friends. His reaction was childish.

“I thought...” Zaynes words were hesitant, “when I received the news... I thought the worst. I thought I lost both of you.” He said quietly to his friend, Zaynes voice was relieved. Calebs hands slid to the back of his arms and shook his head.

“No...I...suffered an injury when it happened and...” Caleb paused, not sure how to even explain anything. His eyes flicking to meet Zaynes.

“No need to explain.” Zayne said shaking his head after the pause started to stretch.

Sylus had literally bled with patience, pulled Caleb close by degrees, pried past his walls brick by brick. All for the purpose of keeping him together, to keep his promise.

And still, every glance, every touch, felt like a negotiation, full of tension, and confusion and frustration, and a million other emotions.

Yet here, in a single breath, someone else was given everything Sylus had fought for. No walls, no struggle. Just warm open arms.

Sylus felt with Caleb, he was the one that didn't belong.

“I finally was brave enough to come visit her.” Caleb explained to Zayne.

They were brave enough to come visit her, together.

Sylus finally tore his eyes away, unable to stand the sight of them being so familiar. He laid the final rose against the stone.
Reminding himself why they were here, why his chest ached like this. He turned his head and looked back towards Zayne. His gaze full of complicated emotions, but otherwise unreadable without words. Coming here reopened his wounds and he questioned whether they should have at all.

“Your voice sounds raw are you getting sick?” Zayne asked, worrying over Caleb, lifting a hand to place to his forehead.

Sylus pursed his lips and then cleared his throat catching his attention stopping the motion. 
“Care to introduce me?” Sylus said interrupting the questioning, and saving Calebs modesty. Zayne straightened lightly glanced at Sylus, his eyes scanning over him, lingering on that white hair. Zaynes face was rather expressionless. He was excellent at masking, but unlike Caleb, Sylus could hear his desires;

I want to save what I couldn't fix, and fix what I couldn't save.
I want to share in his grief.
I will reduce his suffering.
I want him to be healthy.
I want his trust.
I want to know where he's been.
I want him to know how much I worried.

Every thought and desire was about Caleb. He felt ugly with the sparks of jealousy that came anyway.

The pair of friends separated and Zayne collected his bouquet laying it down gently with the other flowers taking a moment to compose himself.

It was ugly, because this man didn’t desire Caleb the way he did. Zaynes desires were pure, yet his jealousy stirred anyways. Zayne harbored desires of a brother, a guardian, someone who would gladly break himself apart if it meant Caleb could stand whole. Something he heard a lot between his men in Onychinus.

“Oh, right this is Doctor Li Shen, also known as Zayne.” Caleb said introducing him a little more formally. So an anglicized name from the sounds of it.
“Zayne this is... uhm-” Caleb faltered and glanced at Sylus who gazed back at him. Sylus was a little too, reserved looking, Caleb recognized his mask.

Of course he was reserved. They were in a graveyard, but Caleb could catch onto when Sylus was restraining himself.

“Skye.” Sylus said shortly, holding out a hand adorned with several expensive rings, that Caleb only just now noticed and Zayne took it firmly in his own delicate hands. Sylus broke the eye contact and looked down sort of surprised to see extensive scarring, but he didn't comment on it.

“I'm sorry we must meet under these kind of circumstances.” Zayne said meeting his eyes again. His gaze was steady but searching. The circumstances were not only somber, but unusual. “I've been friends with Caleb and M since we were school children.”

“So you knew her quite well then.” Sylus said with a tone that wasn't quite sharp, but there was a certain grit to it, that Caleb picked up on instantly.

“I know both of them well.” Zayne corrected as he looked Sylus over. His eyes lingered on the faint scar in the inner corner of his eye, his wet eyelashes. The way he examined him wasn't judgmental exactly, but it was scrutinizing, in a way that made Sylus feel dissected under his stare.

Zayne didn't miss the way they knelt together at her grave as he approached. He didn't recognize him at first, just two men at the grave he came to visit; but once he did he recognized Calebs walls were lowered in a way he had never seen except with her. Caleb was closed off to the entire world, except for her. She was his entire world.

Zayne genuinely believed he got himself buried in the N109 zone. No messages back, or anything for over a month. So to find him here, eyes watery, but not a tear stain on his cheeks, unlike the other, and seemingly doing relatively okay? After only this amount of time? Zayne tried to make sense of it. The number of conclusions he had available were few.

Zayne knew the core was missing from her. That she had been... Harvested. He didn't do the examination, but he did inappropriately use his position, to acquire the report and read it for himself.

If Caleb let this man breach that grief, then Skye was no trivial presence or simple acquaintance.

He had a lot to talk about, with Caleb; but he couldn't do that with the other man here. His desire was loud and clear.

I want to talk to him alone without you.

“Do you want to join us?” Caleb asked Zayne cutting into the awkward silence before it grew any larger. Sylus didn’t want him to. The thought was instant. He wanted Caleb to himself. The fragile thread of closeness between them was still too new, too delicate, and too brittle to hold the presence of a third.

He didn't want to share him. He didn't want anyone, not even a friend to stand in the space that had finally opened up for him.

But the guilt followed quick on his jealous insecurities heels.

Zayne was Caleb’s friend. Someone who had worried, and carried his absence like a wound. Sylus felt he himself was no better than a thief stealing pieces of Caleb’s time from his loved ones.

“Oh I'd-” Zayne started but there was a chiming ringtone that interrupted him. “One moment thats my emergency line.” Zayne searched his pocket and fished out his phone and answered with no hesitation.
“Yes this is doctor Zayne speaking....... Understood I'm on my way.” He focused on Caleb. A sense of relief and then guilt swept through Sylus.

“There's an emergency. I'm sorry to cut this short. I wish we could have had some time to get caught up.”

Caleb pulled him into a departing embrace, and they clapped each other on the back holding for a moment before separating.

“I'm glad you seem to be doing okay, despite everything. When we both have the time, we should meet up and talk privately.” Zayne told him casting a sideways glance towards Skye, and then hurriedly walking away.

The air stilled and Sylus felt his shoulders relax slightly. His eyes studied Caleb carefully and he shifted his body language inviting them to walk the path together back to his car.

“Come on. Lets go get some lunch.” He said walking a little closer to Caleb than necessary, denying his impulse to possessively take his hand.

As they walked together, Caleb didn't step away and allowed the close distance. It felt as if they were circling each other. Wanting to say more, but not quite stepping past the line despite the tenderness and intimacy they shared the day before.

It always seemed like they would take one step forward, then two steps back; Caleb couldn't shake the guilt of wanting to let Sylus in, even as they knelt before her grave together. Wanting to reach out, and comfort him physically.

---

Sylus took him to a quiet, private high class cafe that he was fond of. Marble and muted gold, live flowers on every table, and the soft background drone of a business where people gathered.

It was just the two of them by a window. A meal together, a piece of their routine they could maintain. Sylus had brought her here many times. It was different having Caleb across from him, rather than her elegant and soft beauty, a sharp masculine figure that mirrored his own mannerisms.

At first they filled the silence making small talk about the food, and weather. This or that. Calebs interests were pretty straight forward. Models, planes, cooking, sports, the gym; his hobbies were, surprisingly vast for a man that had little freedom.

Caleb finished his food first as usual, always eating like he was on a strict schedule.

He had never noticed before, how much small fussing Sylus did over him. Little things like making sure his utensils were straight, making sure his menu was placed first, his order taken first, his drink always filled.

When did this start? Why didn't he notice before now? Admittedly, the last month had been, blurred by his pain from injury and grief. It was like a dream after a terrible uncomfortable sleep where only some moments were sharp in his mind. The first kiss when he woke up, that pleasure in Sylus' room, the rejection.

He couldn't figure him out. There were so many mixed signals on both of their parts.

He looked into his glass with ice and whiskey, tapping one of his three insignia rings, one from college, one from DAA, one from the Fleet for his rank. Lightly clinking the rim restlessly. A silence had grown between them after the small talk died.

“I can buy... a little more time with the fleet. Start sending out smaller expeditions for lower priority clients, and filing my reports. Just because I've been gone doesn't mean the entire fleet has been standing still exactly but I do have a lot of responsibilities.” He paused for a moment. “But eventually the Fleet’s going to need me to negotiate the contract. They won’t let me stall forever.” He said into his drink.

Sylus looked up from his food and laid his utensils down looking at Caleb.

“the bandages barely came off and we just visited her grave, and you're thinking about about work.” He said a sigh finding its way into his tone.

“Its easier than, thinking about... Everything else.” Caleb said with a slight humorless smile.

Sylus could understand his feeling. He had been using Caleb that way. The sense of him, slipping through his grasp bit at him though. Resentment towards the fleet prickled through him.

“You don't have to just go rushing back into their grasp though.” He said his tone a little tense. Hasn't he been providing enough? Made it comfortable enough? Given him enough?
“Let them wait.” Sylus added.

Calebs brow furrowed as frustration ran through him. He downed the rest of the drink and set the empty glass on the table.
“You say that like they're just some clingy lover that I can ignore whenever I please.”

Sylus' eyes narrowed faintly. It was difficult to talk plainly. He just simply didn't want Caleb to go; his own possessive emotions were unaddressed within himself. His instinct was to lean away from those emotions, but they pursued him.
“You’ve done enough for them. They took everything from you and still expect more.”

“That’s not how it works,” Caleb retorted in a sharp hushed tone.
“They don’t just expect. They own. My service, my loyalty, my- My life and body.” He stopped himself, biting his own lip lightly where Sylus scarred him.

Sylus leaned forward, elbows resting on the table.
“And you think they deserve that loyalty?” He wanted his loyalty for himself.

“It’s not about what they deserve,” Caleb retorted. “It’s what I swore to do. I can’t just go AWOL and get away with it.” he argued.

Sylus’ gaze softened a fraction.
“You could..” he said quietly; he figured, it was more what he wanted, than what Caleb did. Even if it was unreasonable. He could help him do it.

Caleb looked away, tensing and gritting his teeth.
“You don’t understand.”

The tension that settled between them wasn’t anger exactly, but it was frustrating as Calebs pride scraped against Sylus' uncommunicated craving and possessiveness.

Then Sylus exhaled with a sigh, his heart throbbed.
“Maybe I don't.” he admitted with relent.
“But I do know what it looks like when an organization, like the Fleet, is using up its pawns until there's nothing left.”

Caleb’s hand tracing the rim of the empty glass on the table paused, Sylus' eyes following those slender fingers movement. For a moment, neither of the men spoke. The air between them was thin. It was an argument neither wanted to get into.

“Buy your time...” Sylus finally said. “Then maybe I can show you what its like to have some freedom, even if its temporary.”

---

In the car and full of food, Caleb placed his cap in his lap and ran his hand through his hair, and it was quiet between them. He chewed his lower lip and then finally decided, a little honesty with Sylus could have gone a long way to avoid that argument. Something deeper than small talk. Something to ease the tensions and underlying somberness between them.

They couldn't just sit in silence forever.
“I feel kind of guilty. I let Zayne think I was dead. Again. The fleet isn't the only thing I avoided this month while I've been with you.” He admitted. Rain had started to dot the glass. The more they drove the harder it came down. “I even intentionally ignored his messages.”

Sylus glanced at him. A month ago, he would have dug into Calebs guilt, shamed him, put him down for avoiding his duty and his selfishness and carelessness with others emotions. Sylus had resented him for devastating her, and was jealous of him for being the reason he ever even had the chance to hold her in the first place, but he was past that now.

“well... Your social life hasn't exactly been the first thing on your mind while you've stayed with me.” He said lightly, letting his jealousy from earlier dig a little with his statement. A strange sense of superiority flickering through him, like he had been chosen above Calebs duty and friends.

“No, it hasn't.” Caleb agreed as he stared out the window.
“I've been really selfish. I owe Zayne a lot. I told him I wouldn't do it again but this time, I wasn't ready to face him. Since, I really did plan to let myself die that day.” He said quietly.

“But you didn't” Sylus said, his tone a bit short, “because I won't let you.” His words were firm.

“That's right...” Caleb said his words came out softer. “because you were there, and wouldn't allow it.”

Sylus stared ahead at the road but Calebs words made his heart skip a beat. He questioned his own trust for Caleb.

“And... If I'm not there? To stop you?” He asked out loud rather than keep the doubt to himself. He pulled to a stop at a red light he looked over at him. The sound of the wiper across the front window, and rain hitting the car filled the pause. Their eyes met, the way Sylus' eyes caught the dim daylight in the rainstorm was pretty.

“I'm the promise right? Your promise. With her.” Caleb answered, looking away from him back out the window at nothing in particular. “I can't ruin what she left behind.” he added, his ears felt warm saying the words. Offering a quiet assurance. His words echoed what Sylus said to him that day in the rain when his evol backlashed.

He spoke softly, but the weight of his words filled Sylus with with an immense relief. He relaxed, and tension he didn't even realize he held, loosened and he leaned back in his seat with an exhale.

They drove further for a while, before he spoke again, his tone a little more relaxed.

“You handled yourself well today, despite your worries.” Sylus said, he felt like he lost in a strange way, being the one that got emotional before her grave instead of Caleb; but also at the same time Caleb was grounding for him. Maybe they grounded each other.

Sylus glanced over when Caleb didn't say anything, and he had fallen asleep, his posture was relaxed and vulnerable, instead of stiff and disciplined by the Fleet.

He hadn't seen Caleb actually sleeping without pain before, physically, or mentally.

Caleb looked gentle and fragile, in a way that lured him.

Pulling up to another light he took the time to reach over and pick up the hat, that had fallen to the floor, setting it back on his lap gently. He brushed a strand of Calebs hair aside carefully, feeling that soft dark hair under his fingertips before he withdrew.

He took the long route back to N109.

Chapter Text

Caleb snapped awake and then shuddered. He was in bed. His hand on his chest his heart pounding.

He sat up turning the light on with his evol and glancing at a standing mirror that faced the bed he slept in. He could feel a sheen of sweat cling to him. His T-shirt was damp. He hadn't dreamed about her for once but it was still unpleasant.

This time it was about Sylus, but he couldn't see him, couldn't be heard by him. Calling for him through one way glass in a sound proof room he had been kept in. Unseen and unheard.

He rubbed his face with both hands, then back through his hair. The dream fragmenting away in his memory except for glimpses. That room always haunted his sleep. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, finger tips meeting. He'd been wound up. Feeling shut in. Grounded. Pent up. That day over a week ago lingered in the back of his mind on the daily.

They both had been skirting around one another, ever since he knelt on the mats in front of him.

The steady routine? It had been in shambles. Sylus had been busy, and up to something but didn't tell Caleb what, and Caleb didn't ask since he was also busy; but while filing his hundreds of reports, he couldn't shake the uneasiness that it had created with him. The routine had been, steadying for him, in a way he couldn't describe.

His week had been nothing but fleet reports and deployments and remote meetings. The reality was that his little month off left his work piled up and he was swamped with bureaucracy.

When It came to Sylus Caleb was often mentally distracted. He was left feeling a little... well actually, a lot confused, and maybe, deep down his pride was once again hurting, or maybe just his feelings. He couldn't tell which.

He thought, they would get closer after that day only for Sylus, to keep his distance. All he had was this single glimpse with that single window of honesty with him.

Caleb didn't know what went through the gangsters mind. He felt like, letting Sylus approach him, was the best way, but maybe that was flawed thinking.

He ran his thumb over his own lip, where he was forever imprinted in his flesh by the scar, thinking of their first kiss on the floor in the medbay. Why did they do that? It was an indescribable sense of, attachment at the time.

He habitually reached for his necklace that wasn't there and then just brushed fabric of his t-shirt with his fingertips instead and ignored the tinge of frustration that followed. He checked the time and it was six am. Now was a good time as any to get up and shower.

He stood in the water watching it circle the drain. Stone tiles from ceiling to floor. Caleb thought of him more often than her these days. Even now while watching water drain away.

The staff cleaned his room nearly daily. He had become rather friendly with them too. Not minding helping out here or there. He fit in well at Onychinus HQ. But he did not have the privilege of considering leaving his position in the Fleet to find his place with the syndicate; At Sylus' side.

Sylus was certainly acting, possessive, to put it plainly. Still avoiding his inevitable departure. Pressing for him to just leave the fleet and stay. In every indirect way possible, without just simply saying to leave the Fleet.

Did that even make any sense? Could a person be possessive but distant at the same time? He slicked back his wet hair.

When it came to business Sylus was still avoiding their negotiations between the Fleet and Onychinus. The contract was written but not signed, and they never discussed things in the contract that the Fleet had sent him.

Caleb had all but arrived in N109 when, he lost her and everything happened. His private aircraft was still sitting in Sylus' private terminal sharing a bay with the Onychinus jet. He wasn't even sure Sylus had even read a single word of the contract in all this time.

Now the Fleet sent revisions, and it was more than just, protocores they were interested in.

Every time he brought it up, he was met with an excuse or Sylus avoided him completely.

They both had been busy though so the topic didn't have much of a chance to be pushed. He was able to buy time with his General; but his absence in the fleet was certainly not unnoticed. His loyalty was being called into question.

He also had other worries. He had sent Zayne an apology box of macarons, who unfortunately had been way too busy to seriously discuss anything with him, something about, an increase in the number of people, suddenly becoming ill with protocore sickness.

'I really need to speak to you but I'll tell you when I have time' was the last message he had sent him and it was nearly a week ago.

Caleb sighed to himself, an order was an order though.

Seal the deal, or don't and get back to business. He was toeing a dangerous line with the Fleet.

But he had a good excuse. Unfortunately for the fleet, Sylus was a masterclass in art of delay.

And a small part of Caleb, didn't mind that.

When he exited the shower, and went to start his day, he found the penthouse was shockingly empty.
No sylus, No twins, No Mephi. Even the staff was limited.

The day seemed to drag it's feet behind him, he kept anticipating Sylus coming up from behind or speaking up from the doorway in that lazy confident way that he did.

Asking him if he was enjoying his free time or his food,

Or wanting to go train with him,

Or annoying him that he had been filing reports for too long and to come eat something or do something else for once.

He wasn't enjoying today. But no one was there to tell that to.

Sylus never showed up for their meals they usually ate together, neither one of the first two meals; And Caleb was left with, a sense of lonesomeness and apprehensiveness that made him spiral.

He went to the gym in the basement, and worked out on his own, and Sylus still never arrived.

Their sparring no longer really focused that much on his evol or his control of it, they just sparred for the sake of it.

This last week though it was like Sylus was afraid to even be touched by him. His evasiveness coming through in every movement.

He pushed himself, just a little too hard in his workout, until his lungs and muscles burned, his body pleading for him to stop; then afterwards he spent longer then necessary cleaning the equipment he used.

Caleb tried to pretend this was normal, but it felt like the moon itself had been plucked out of the sky.

Sylus' absence in this place was enormous. Until now he had been, steady and ever present. Consistent.

His anchor.

Despite always being just out of reach and also within reach at the same time.

He flicked one of the several papercranes, he had folded out of anxiety, onto the floor, then used his evol to summon it back.

It was now eleven at night.

Caleb was arranging ingredients to cook for himself, trying to use the chore to distract himself from Sylus' absence.

He got too deep into filing reports and studying a section of the deepspace tunnel. His appetite was poor but he still got hungry eventually and his body begged him for food. A part of him, wanted to simply ignore his own needs. He wasn't worth feeding.

He wanted to make something comforting. Something familiar. Something that held the taste of “home”. The intense sense of unease in his chest that came with that empty space all around him still hovered.

The distraction wasn't working.

Finally.

Finally he heard heavy steps across the tile Caleb straightened his posture as if to stand at attention, a sense of relief swept through him.

Sylus' returning presence filled the room and he had to compose himself for a moment his heart beating out of his chest at the sound.

“Oh you're cooking?” Sylus' casual tone said through the kitchen, drawing closer, as per usual stopping just inside the edge of his personal space.

“Yeah, I wanted something familiar-” he turned as he spoke and Caleb froze his eyes widening, startled by what he saw, dropping the spatula on the floor. His word falling off his lips.

“oh-” His heartbeat quickened. He could smell the iron and gunpowder.

He was covered in blood. His white hair ends stained and matted, it was old blood, dried to his skin. Clearly not his own. He looked, tired, but his crimson eyes were lit up as he gazed at Caleb.

“Sylus what- What the hell have you been doing all day?” Caleb asked exasperated, his voice filled with immediate concern, and not holding back his worry.

“Business.” He answered shortly with no explanation.
“Business.” Caleb echoed his eyes glued to him.

“Cook enough for two. I haven't eaten today and, I'm going to take a shower and I'll join you.”
“Cook...” Caleb echoed dumbly back again, he gathered himself for a moment and collected the dropped spatula. Sylus' eyes followed him before heading away.

He paused in the doorway and looked back,
“I won't be long.” he said as if worried to leave him alone for a minute longer.

“...Alright.” Caleb said watching him, as he left him alone again.

Caleb did as he was told and prepared the food for them both but it wasn't quite finished when Sylus came back. He was dressed down, damp hair, loose sweatpants, a black t-shirt. Calebs eyes traveled along his neck down the chain that rested against his chest seeking his necklace that had been around his neck for weeks now. He noted how his hair needed dried better.

“It's not ready?” Sylus asked him coming to stand near to him, his eyes lingering on what Caleb laid out on two plates.

“It almost is. Once this sauce reduces to be thicker, then its ready. Hungry?” Caleb asked his eyes turning to the food in front of him. He glanced over at him, the lighter part of his purple eyes, seemed as if they caught the light, like the sun.
“I'm starving.” Sylus said, his eyes lingering on Caleb, his words carried his usual unbothered cadence.

Sylus didn't usually press for something like this, but Caleb had also never taken it upon himself to cook before.

“Want to taste and curb your hunger a little?” He asked picking up a piece of meat that he had cooked with his fingertips, and dipping it into the partly finished sauce, holding it out for him to take. Sylus glanced down at it and then at Caleb.

Tyrian purple and crimson. Royal colors meeting.

Caleb felt a certain heat between them, with the look that Sylus gave him; His ears and edges of his cheeks flushed lightly.

“It's not reduced but it- it-!”Calebs words stumbled then faltered.
Rather than taking it from him by hand, Sylus leaned down and opened his mouth. Calebs eyes widened, and Sylus' gaze stayed locked on him still, as he took the piece of meat in his mouth, his tongue sliding up between his fingers where sauce had dripped; using his tongue to take the bite from him before he closed his mouth around them and sucked the sauce off.

It stole Calebs breath. The way his pretty white eyelashes fluttered shut for a moment as the taste of it hit him.

Sylus let his hand free and then chewed the bite savoring the flavor, and the others flustered reaction. The motion of chewing hiding that sly smile playing on his lips.

“It's delicious. You're better than my own chef...” Sylus complimented, There was something else to his tone, like amusement; but he acted as if he had done nothing out of the norm at all.

“So, you were saying?” he followed up, after a moment, raising a brow.

“it-” Caleb couldn't think straight. He shook his head slightly, and tore his eyes away trying to regain himself.
“It should taste the same” he finally said all the way. His flushed, there was no hiding his reaction from him.

Caleb rinsed his hand in the sink and tried to collect himself. He could feel his abdomen tensing, his dick half hard from whatever that just was. Was he flirting? Was he teasing him? Why did he do that all of a sudden? They had been distant from one another, in that way, all week.

He glanced at Sylus who just watched him with a steady gaze.

“So- where are the twins?” Caleb asked prying about what they were up to and distract himself.

“I let them have the presidential suite in my hotel, since it was closer. And Mephisto is scouting.” Sylus said as Caleb stirred the sauce.

“Closer to what?” Caleb pressed as he removed the sauce that had taken on a syrupy thickness and drizzled it over the main course on each plate. He wanted to know why Sylus would show up covered in blood like that.

“A nest of invasive insects.” Sylus said watching him with interest.

“well. Sit, and you can tell me over dinner what kind of insects make a mess like that.” Caleb said holding both plates, one in each hand. He set Sylus' plate first then his own and seated himself beside him.

Sylus was acting differently. He felt like he was being pulled by him, like he wanted his attention.
After a few bites of food Sylus continued the conversation. “If I told you what kind. You would want to go clean up the mess with those insects too.” Sylus' lips curved slightly with his words.

Caleb hesitated and then lowered his utensil back to the plate and looked over at Sylus,

“Was it EVER?” He asked with a low tone.
“You're good at guessing.” Sylus confirmed to him.

Caleb’s brow furrowed slightly but he pulled away from the topic, worried Sylus would meet him with distance again. Instead they made small talk.

Nothing important, nothing dangerous. The kind of words people used when they didn’t want silence.

Sylus let him talk. He was quieter than usual, his voice low and almost tired. His expression holding a faint curve of his mouth. Caleb couldn’t tell if it was real or a mask.

When the meal was finished, a silence settled between them.

Caleb stood, leaning a little into Sylus’ personal space as he collected the plates. The warmth of his shoulder brushed Sylus’ arm, the touch light, unintentional, but it made his pulse jump anyway.

Before he could turn away, Sylus’ hand caught the wrist of his free hand.

“I was worried, since I was gone so long, that I would come back to an empty house.” Sylus said, voice quiet, his thumb brushing the inside of Caleb’s wrist where his unsteady pulse beat fast.

“But you stayed.”

Caleb blinked, uncertain of what to make of it. Several reactions ran through him. His first instinct was to bristle and snap that he wasn’t a dog waiting for its owner, obeying its orders; but something in Sylus’ tone got to him. It wasn’t condescending. It was warm. Proud, even.

Caleb felt tense. The feeling, of not being trusted nipped at him, was Sylus just testing him?

He pulled his hand away from him. “You make it sound like I was supposed to run. Besides, I can't leave yet. I still have to negotiate with you on behalf of the Fleet.”

The words were like armor, recoiling back into a place of duty was safer than whatever it was that was between them. They both felt their shared grief and loss deeply into their very souls. Their need for one another, the wanting, was distinct, but it wasn't something that could be defined. So duty was better.

Sylus’ eyes narrowed slightly, the warmth cooling. “Now?”

“You've been pretending this isn’t hanging over us, and that we have all the time in the world.” Caleb said stepping away putting the counter between them.

“You’ve been avoiding it.” He turned away unable to bring himself to look at Sylus' expression. Busying his hands by getting ready to clean the dishes he dirtied, and rinsing a plate. Pretending to focus on the water.

Anything to avoid the way Sylus was looking at him.

Sylus stood slowly and deliberately. The energy in the air changed. His chair scraping against the floor faintly. Closing the distance Caleb had created.

“Maybe I didn’t want to talk about politics with you at home.” Sylus replied evenly, but the faint edge in his tone betrayed the flicker of something else. Hurt, maybe, or disappointment.

Caleb swallowed hard, realizing he'd done it. Pushed him away without meaning to.

“Home?” he questioned quietly echoing.

Sylus' voice drew closer. “You make it sound like you think you're just a guest.”

“I am just a guest.” Caleb argued his thoughts flickering back to the way Sylus introduced him to the twins.

Sylus didn't answer immediately. “Maybe I don't see it that way.” He said softly after a silence passed.

“Look, Sylus- I'm just trying to do my job, and earn my worth.” He was grasping for words, his tension pushing them out of his mouth. He didn't feel he deserved to be here.

Alive, sheltered. Wounded and then protected by someone that used to be his enemy, and for what? What was the return Sylus expected?

Every facet of his life, he had always had conditional expectations and relationships.

He had to be worthwhile. He had to bring results.

Then as if to reinforce that, he had done something domestic, for Sylus, and now he was giving him attention as a reward, even if that attention did make him feel tangled up inside.

Attention that they had both been delicately sidestepping and avoiding; that he had kept wanting to cross the line for, like a dog. Needy for attention.

Sylus moved again, slow and steady, until the space between them trapped their body heat. The hissing of water from the faucet filling the silence.

“...Earn it...?” Sylus repeated Calebs words softly. His voice was quiet but close. A shiver rippled over Calebs skin, fine as static.

“Do you think you're being graded on your obedience with me? Like with the Fleet? Like in that Lab?” Sylus braced both hands against the sink trapping Caleb, between the counter and his body. He could hear Calebs breath falter.

He leaned even closer, “You made me tell you, my desire. Then rewarded me by kneeling in front of me, and then hid yourself away from me behind duty. Did that affection mean anything to you at all? Or was that just duty too?”

Caleb flushed red, he was instantly hard, and Sylus pressed against him leaning forward and reaching a hand past him. Shutting off the water, before returning his hand to the counter. Caleb could feel him too, stiff against his ass.

“Do you think.. that was what that was?” Caleb finally found his voice to ask,

“I know it is.” Sylus said is breath brushed against his ear. He could feel Sylus' heart, pounding.
“You've been told, what to do for your entire life. When to fight. When to stop. When to kneel...” His tone softened, “and just like her, at some point you started to do it without needing to be told.”

Caleb was overwhelmed. For a moment he felt misunderstood, but the more Sylus said, the more he felt, seen in a way he never wanted to be seen by anyone.

Why was Sylus acting like this so suddenly? He felt like he couldn't breathe. He couldn't turn around, just held from behind, his wet hands bracing against the counter brushing lightly with Sylus' only able to feel such a light electric contact, in one.

His heart pounded in sync with his. He tried to tell himself that this didn't mean anything. It was just comfort after some kind of long day, but he couldn't lie to himself. The lie unraveled the longer Sylus pressed against him.

“You're one to talk about hiding.” Caleb managed to spit out with trembling words. “I didn't know how to approach you, after that day. You, just acted like nothing happened. So I thought that's what you wanted.”

Sylus' heart skipped a beat and Caleb could feel it. There was a pause between them. Sylus didn't move but Caleb could feel the shift in his breathing.

“I thought...” Sylus started with a low voice rasping, and an honest tone. “that giving us space, would be... Better.”

Calebs brow furrowed, “Better how?” he asked probing for answers. Piercing through Sylus' armor.

“For me. For you.” His voice was even.

“But today, I just...” He set his forehead on Calebs shoulder.

“I wanted to see you... I thought the space would, just be for the best... You can't stay here.. I know that... but- this distance? It's suffocating me.”

The admission hung heavily in the air. Calebs thoughts ran a thousand miles a second.

Sylus exhaled unsteadily, breaking Caleb out of his thoughts.

“I'm supposed to make sure, you don't burn yourself out. My promise, to her, and she's been gone for only a little over a month. But I can't stop...” His sentence broke off for a moment as he considered his words, his own confusion causing him to falter.

“I can't stop wanting you, for myself. Even though you belong to her... To the fleet... I didn't know a desire could- I didn't think it could hurt so much.” Caleb could hear the strain in his vulnerable words, the guilt tangling with his want.

Caleb wanted to, fix him, fix his sore emotions. He felt guilty and responsible for Sylus' feelings, even if his sense of responsibility didn't make sense. He had selfishly created a tether between them, or maybe she had, but he was the one that solidified it.

“I'm tired of this distance too.” Caleb said softly to him.

Sylus shifted, his breath warm against Calebs neck as he kissed him there. Sending a shiver through his entire body.

“That's the first honest thing you've said to me all week.” he muttered against his skin.

A warm silence passed between them and Sylus pressed against him with a certain hunger that had nowhere else to go. Only for a moment, before he straightened, his warm breath leaving Calebs neck, and his hands left the counter, though he didn't step away yet. Caleb could feel him linger.

Sylus tilted his head slightly, his gaze heated, following along Calebs jaw, the pulse in his neck. The nearness, was enough to make him blush. When Caleb finally turned to face him, Sylus leaned in and claimed his lips, tipping his head back as he asserted himself, pressing his body against him, making Caleb feel his bulge against his. His hands bracing against the counter again as he pushed him back against it. Calebs finding his hips, he squeezed gently. 

He pulled back a little, panting lightly, a string of Saliva snapping. Sharing a dazed expression. 

“That day you made me to tell you what I wanted, but I only told a partial truth. What I really want, is more of you.” Sylus said breathlessly to him.

“If you're okay with it. Not here. My bedroom.” He said getting to the point. He shifted his hips letting his body talk for himself. Caleb nodded, and they both broke away Sylus leading him out of the kitchen.

---

The door hadn't even had time to close completely before Caleb was on him, kissing him, a certain desperation to his actions, driven by his lonesome day. But Sylus grabbed his wrists stopping him.
“Slow down. Why are you in a rush?” Sylus breathed his mouth curved slightly, appreciating Calebs eagerness.

Sylus leaned in and kissed him slowly, deliberately dragging it out. Setting the pace he wanted. His hands sliding down from his wrists, to his hands; Holding both, and using them to pull him against himself. Caleb didn't resist him at all.
Sylus leaned into his kiss and slipped his hands against the small of his back, to keep him there, Calebs hands matching his motions.

Sylus controlled the kiss, sliding his tongue deep between his lips and Caleb followed.

Both Savoring the affection as he guided them across the room, steering Caleb backwards towards his bed, using his steps to put his thigh between the other mans legs and rub it against him. His hands finding their way up his back under his shirt his fingertips digging into his skin.

He was eager too.

He paused at the edge of the bed with him, and stepped back, pulling his own tshirt off in a swift motion, and dropping his sweats, and Caleb following suit, as Sylus sat on his bed.

While Caleb pulled his shirt off, Sylus' eyes followed the curves on his body that he had gotten familiar with while tending his wounds. His gaze lingered on his hands as he unbuttoned his pants, lowering them down over his hard cock straining against his black boxers.

Sylus reached out, and pulled him closer, putting his arms around his mid section and looked up at him. Spreading his legs so Caleb could stand between them.
Caleb leaned down and kissed him again, a hand cupping his face for a moment, the other pushing back his white hair as the other hand slid down to his back. He leaned into him, lowering Sylus back against the mattress, bracing above him; Rubbing his cock against him through their underwear. Sylus let a soft sigh through his nose at the pleasant friction.

Sylus' warm hands lowered down Calebs back finding their way to his ass, and he squeezed deliberately. Possessively feeling him; before gripping and rolling them both together on the bed, and hovering over him, looking down at him, seeking Calebs eyecontact.

The apple tag dangled between them. Both panting, their breath mingled as Sylus leaned down and pressed his lips to Calebs again, kissing him a little more roughly, biting his lip.

All the tension they both felt finally breaking away little by little.

Sylus pulled back and buried his face into his neck, urging Caleb to give him better access. He put his lips to his skin nipping at him. Licking, feeling his life vein under his tongue and kissing along his vein to his Adams apple. Then biting him on the nape of his neck, feeling Caleb tense beneath him and gasp into his ear. The sound made his cock twitch in anticipation, his hands stroking down his back.

He bit him a little harder, the gasp turning vocal before he let out a stuttered whisper

“St-stop” to him and he let up.
“Its cute the way you stutter a little when you're excited.” Sylus whispered into his ear before he put his mouth to his again. His finger hooked the band of Calebs trunks and pulling them down a little until the base of his shaft brushed against the side of his finger, teasing the side of his shaft, before he broke the kiss looking down between them. Was this really going to be okay?

Hesitation and self doubt swirled in him. Did Caleb really want this? Did he really mean the words from earlier? He was tired of the distance?

“If you want me to stop. Say 'red'. No matter what, I will.” He said gazing down at it then back up at Caleb, their eyes meeting.

“Do you understand?” he wanted to give him a way out. He felt unusually nervous. Caleb only nodded but it wasn't good enough. Sylus leaned over him and nipped at his neck punishingly.

“Use your words. Say it.” He commanded into his ear. His sternness in his voice softened by his heavy breathing.

“I understand.” Caleb answered him obediently, his voice squeezed by his arousal in a way that sent a shiver through him. Sylus nipped at his ear.

“And the word you'll say if you want me to stop?” He pressed further, as he bit him again on the neck below the ear. This time a little more gently, sucking and forming a new mark in a new spot.
“ah- I'll say red.” Calebs voice came out tense. It made Sylus' heart pound harder.

“good.” He praised against his skin. The praise pierced through Caleb like nothing else, sending a shiver through his entire body.
Sylus' motions were heated, his fingers curled around the edge of Calebs underwear and sat back on his knees, with a forceful yank he pulled them down completely throwing them on the floor with the rest of their clothes.

Caleb sat up on his elbows, completely stripped, panting heavily, and his violet eyes took him in as Sylus stripped himself. 
Sylus was better built than even some of the higher ranking officers in the fleet. If Sylus had been in the ranks, he would have subtly propositioned him long ago and made him his alone. He wanted to take the lead but it seemed best to let Sylus set the pace he liked. He didn't want to overstep and get pushed away again.

As soon as Sylus was free of any clothing he returned to teasing and kissing him. Putting himself between Calebs legs and rubbing their dicks together, dry stroking them lightly as his other hand wandered, gripping his chest, his side, his thighs. Calebs hands wandered as well, stroking down Sylus' sides squeezing his hips, his hands finding their way around him to his ass and squeezing.

Sylus wanted to hurry but also wanted to take his time.

Wanted to drag this moment out, savor every curve, every shiver, and every sound beneath him.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to Calebs again, they were soft, and slightly swollen like his own from kissing and biting, and he could feel the scar he left on him as he licked them. Something he secretly coveted.

The apple tags weight rested against Calebs chest, and dragged across his skin as Sylus moved down, from his mouth to his neck again nipping the marks that were forming; earning a gasp from him. He moved lower, biting his shoulder a little more boldly. A little rougher. Then lower putting his mouth on his chest pinching his nipples between his teeth. Caleb shuddered and gasped, and Sylus continued to tease his skin until they stood firm on his chest.

He could tell when Caleb liked something, able to feel his cock twitch against his own when he touched him in different ways. He looked at Caleb admiring his work, his marks Calebs blushing appearance his stiff tits. Calebs hands on his hips, squeezing him slightly as his hand stroked their dicks together.

“You're so erotic like this...” Sylus muttered softly as his fingertips slid up the back of his thigh and traced the rim of Calebs entrance; he felt Calebs cock twitch, but Caleb pushed back slightly with his arm as if surprised.

“a-w-wait. Wait- wait.” Caleb stammered. Sylus paused, moving his hand back to his side. Their eyes met, both panting hard, they shared hazy expressions. Both feeling like reality itself had gone soft on the edges from the pleasure.

“Am I... bottoming?” He asked breathlessly, he gazed up a Sylus who was positioned between his legs, Sylus' hand on his side where his thumb stroked his hip absently.
Caleb just now finally in this moment, had the realization hit him even in his foggy pleasured state that one of them would top the other.

“...that seemed to be how things were flowing.” Sylus stated equally breathless. He leaned down, going back to his neck and kissing him below the ear. Muscle against muscle as their chests came together.

“Is that not what you want?” he asked rasping into Calebs ear as his hips twitched, greedily making friction between them.

“It- I just- haven't done that before.” Caleb responded, his words rife with embarrassment. Sylus wasn't sure his heart could beat any harder without meeting his own demise, his cock twitching at the words. Caleb could hear the way his breath caught.

“So, you're a virgin? You don't know what it's like?” He asked softly in a gentle tone.

“No- I've done it with fingers, on my own, but with men I always topped.” Caleb responded

“That means you're a virgin in this way.” Sylus whispered into his ear, his tone was matter-of-factually but quivering with excitement. If he was using fingers on himself, his body should at least understand the feeling, so he wasn't wholly unprepared.

Sylus shifted, and followed up “I've bottomed before though. Do you want to top?”

His muscles flexed as he pushed himself up creating distance. One hand on either side of him, to brace above Caleb and look down at him, preparing to shift positions.

Caleb was panting, his face and shoulders flushed red. Suddenly facing Sylus head on with such an admission. He covered his face with one hand as if to hide, his embarrassment. He had never even stopped to consider that bottoming was even an option for him with Sylus.

“I'd-...” He started but paused,

Of course he had been curious, being the bottom, but who in the hell could he, the Colonel, trust to do it with?

He couldn't show submissiveness, or vulnerability, even if there were times he wanted to; but with Sylus it had all been laid bare since the start.

He couldn't talk about this stuff with her either. They weren't exclusive but he never discussed what went on in the quarters on board in the Fleet. He had to maintain the illusion she was his one and only. Sylus knew a part of him that she never had.

Doing it with one of the men from the fleet was different. It was, methodical, it lacked any sense of attachment at all. At least for himself. He never kissed any of his male partners. It was always just a mutual quick pleasure, then separation and acting like nothing happened at all.

“... If it's you. It's fine.” he finally said.

Calebs acceptance to bottom for him made Sylus' heart skip several beats it was unexpected. He gazed down at him. He didn't say the word to stop, he still wanted this, he wanted him back.
He was 100 percent sure Caleb wanted him.
He was 98 percent sure.
He was 81 percent sure Caleb wanted him back.
His eye glowed lightly as he tried to hear his desire; to confirm his mutual craving but he couldn't hear it. Was this his genuine, and honest desire? Sylus' mistrust without the ability to hear it for himself, prickled through him.

Sensing Sylus' unease, his self doubts, through his moment of hesitation, Caleb brought his hands up until his arms looped around his neck and pulled him down to himself again not wanting the distance Sylus had created.
He kissed his neck. Licking, and then biting him lightly, then harder. Sylus let out a pleasured sound mixed with pain and protest, and he gripped Calebs sides, as he claimed him roughly with a mark.

“I said, if it's you. I'm okay with it.” Caleb whispered to him his voice assuring him. Sylus squeezed his sides digging his fingers against him.

How easily he read his emotions and brushed away the doubt like it was nothing. Something about it made something fragile in him stutter, his usual rhythm of control always disrupted by the other. It was as if Caleb was the one actually in control.

Wanting to feel like he was the one, Sylus took Caleb by the jaw and kissed him again, leading the kiss and tasting his tongue with his own until he earned a soft sound from Caleb into his own mouth. Then he pulled back.

“Since you're a virgin we have to take it slow.” Sylus said, as he shifted up, bracing over Caleb, and opened a drawer with his evol, and summoning his lubricant into his hand.

He looked down at him, cupping his face with his free hand, his thumb traced over Calebs sensitive lips for a moment, their eyes meeting.

He took his hand back and shifted Calebs position beneath him to line their hips up better, and squeezed the bottle until it was borderline too much.

He used his fingertips to spread some just inside past the entrance of his hole. Testing his boundaries. Hearing Caleb gasp, he looked at him studying him carefully. Watching his abdomen flex, and his cock twitch. Listening to his reactions. Sylus wanted him to feel good.

He slid one finger deeper in and felt Caleb tighten around it. His other hand slid down to his stomach feeling every ridge of his muscle as he did, until he reached his manhood and wrapped his fingers around it at the base, he used a couple of strokes to coat it with lube and started to finger him gently while stroking him.

His own quivering excitement gave away his impatience, but he could feel Caleb relaxing, so he slid his finger out of him and then reinserted two.

Caleb shivered under Sylus' ministrations and the second finger had him gasping out loud. Between his cock and his ass being toyed with it was a mixed sensation, he had jerked off, or fingered his ass but never both at once.

When Sylus hit that spot inside him he instantly felt like he was going to cum, with how intense it felt. His entire body tensed from the sensation, but it didn't happen, it was like he was being edged. A spot he had never touched himself.

His voice involuntarily escaped him, sending a shiver through Sylus' nerves, his grip on his cock squeezing slightly. Caleb closed his eyes and resisting the urge to twist away from the overwhelming sensation, feeling Sylus' steady crimson gaze set on him.

“You like when I stroke you here?” Sylus asked soft and low, pointedly pressing his finger into the spot inside him again, wanting to hear his voice. Eliciting another shuddering vocal gasp out of him.

“Yes-” Calebs voice was strangled with pleasure and mixed with his moan. Sylus loved it. Precum pearled at the tip of his cock in anticipation.

“you're so honest like this.” Sylus breathed as he fingered him making him twist in pleasure under his touch. There was a certain sense of dominance in him, that he selfishly and freely indulged in. When he could feel Caleb relaxing again he carefully slid a third finger in, fitting his index and both middle fingers.

It would never be enough for his size. But it would make it easier for him to move past the initial pain when he finally received him, and prevent tearing.

The pleasure was too much, he felt like he was going to lose control, and Caleb gripped his wrist of the hand that was stroking his cock and gasped out

“It's too much-” his voice was higher pitched, and came out as almost a whimper, overstimulated by both sensations together; Sylus bit his own lower lip at the sound of his voice.

“Oh...? Too much?” Sylus teased quietly,

Caleb started to answer “Y-aH-” his word was cut off by Sylus pressing his fingers deeper inside him.

“You're a lot more responsive than I imagined.” Sylus said as he went back to stroking him; he could feel him quivering on his fingers,

“Oh- So you were- imagining-” Caleb teased back his voice strained as he panted. Sylus smiled slightly, he was caught.

“I imagined a lot. Especially after I came down your throat.” He said as he pressed his fingers deep as he could fit them his hand squeezing his cock.

“Did you imagine topping?” Calebs voice shivered.

“Sometimes topping. Sometimes, bottoming.” Sylus responded is face already flushed felt warmer still as he admitted it, especially because of the way Caleb bit his own lip and looked at him. Even though he was the one stroking his cock, and fingering him, that look made him unsure of which of them, was yielding to the other.

He could feel Caleb was more used to his fingers and he was reaching his own limit. He wanted to do it now.

He grabbed the lube again and slicked his own cock with it, stroking himself a few times, and mounted him, hesitating for a moment trying to read his body language as he pressed his head against his entrance.
He held his own cock in hand and rubbed against him, spreading lubricant and precum against him before guiding himself and easing his way in. 
The other hand sliding around the back of Calebs neck, and using his elbow to brace so he didn't crush Caleb, the apple tags brushing between them, the soft sound of the metal sliding down the chain. He bit his own lip and closed his eyes at the sensation.

His virgin hole was so much tighter than he expected even with preparation. He opened his eyes and looked at him carefully, trembling just inside his entrance. He already wanted to cum from just this much alone. He needed to control himself though, watching his reactions, easing inside slower. Caleb was a blushing shivering mess, as much as he was, and they haven't even gotten started yet.

He pressed himself in further with small light thrust and Caleb gasped out for him. His hands finding their way to his shoulders. Sylus resisted the urge to root himself completely inside him.

It was only a couple inches in, and he couldn't move further. He hid his face in Calebs neck, panting heavily into his ear and Calebs arms slid around his shoulders tightening.

“Relax,” Sylus urged, his voice tense with pleasure, “you're squeezing so hard, I can't move.”

“it-it hurts-it's so big-” Caleb gasped out into his ear the corners of his eyes teared at the sheer physical strain of taking it. A sharp throb of pleasure ran through Sylus at his words.

There was always pain at the start, even for the more experienced men, unless they did this sort of thing regularly, but then the body would catch up and that pain would quickly subside into pleasure.

“Try to relax and it will start to feel good when your body gets used to it.” Sylus urged to him. He held still trying to keep his hips from instinctively bucking into that hole, and a few moments passed before he could feel Caleb relaxing,

“You're doing so good-” Sylus praised quietly, in a lightly strained voice, sliding himself a little deeper- but stopped letting out a vocal gasp of his own into Calebs ear, as he felt Caleb clench and squeeze him so tightly.

Caleb's core tensed and then a hot electric pulse ran through his every vein as the pleasure took over and burst through him. His evol pulsed through the room making anything lightweight shift slightly in place.

He came roping cum between them onto his stomach, letting out a shuddering vocal with each.

Sylus' couldn't look away as Calebs body flexed in pleasure, completely taken by the erotic image, and sensation of him cumming on his cock. The way he clamped down and shuddered on him made him want to cum too. He couldn't hold back his own moan in response.

“nnh- Did you just cum from- just putting it in-?” Sylus asked his voice strained, it was too tight and it was hard to hold himself back with the way Caleb shivered on him.

“I couldn't- help it.” He breathlessly responded as he tried to recover from his orgasm and Sylus squeezed the arm looped around the back of his neck and held him as Caleb tightened his arms around him.

They both stilled for a moment both panting, just holding each other in the erotic embrace. Sylus trying to control himself, his hips very gently bucking against his will; his body wanted more friction.

It was the low voiced, pleasure laced praise that pushed Caleb past that edge, but he was too embarrassed to admit that. He couldn't think straight- He just needed a minute; An orgasm had never felt like that, and he was still hard, he couldn't hold himself back at all, like the orgasm was forced out of him by Sylus' words and hitting that spot inside him simultaneously.

After a moment when he felt Calebs hips shift, Sylus whispered to him, “I'm going to move again.”

Caleb nodded; Sylus took the cue and thrust lightly pushing himself further in; Caleb let out a quiet shivering moan into his ear that sent a quiver down his spine into his hips. Sylus gasped, trying to hold his voice back but unable to, with the pleasure wrapped around his cock.

Sylus pressed himself deeper, until he was seated fully inside him, and looked down between them to where they connected. Breathing out slowly getting used to him squeezing down on him. Calebs cock twitching and leaking cum on his stomach. He couldn't hold back anymore.

He was at his limit of restraint.

“I'm going to start thrusting-” he said his voice tense and shivering. He didn't wait for Calebs reaction as he pulled out and thrust fully back into him, skin slapping skin sharply sounded into the room. Earning a moan that sent a shiver through him. Calebs fingers digging into his shoulders.

He shifted his hands down grabbing him by the hip with one hand, giving himself leverage. Pulling out and thrust hard into him earning a good vocal from Caleb with each slap of skin against skin. Each vocalization scattered slightly by impact.

He loved the honest erotic tones that he emitted with every stroke.

All week. All day. The space beside him, felt wrong.

He had been, so excited to see Caleb.

It had been too quiet, and cold.

He lied to himself, that it was just nothing. He held back, thinking the distance was safer. That it was just a temporary thing, just his heart coping for its emptiness and finding the first pleasant thing to latch onto.

That he was only distracted.

But the truth was heavier than his lie. Sinking to the bottom of the sea of emotions and settling like a heavy stone. An unmoving stubborn feeling.
Calebs absence from his side made him restless. The moment he got home he looked for him right way, covered in blood from a dirty job. To settle his heart, he needed to see him.
Not food, not rest. Just Caleb.

He wanted his warm embrace, like he had now.
Finding him moving easily in his space as if it was his own, as if he belonged there. Doing something simple, and human and mundane, undid his resolve for distance, that he had not prepared for, or even entirely understood.

He thought he understood desires more than anyone, spending years mastering it, using it against people weaker than himself. Using desires to walk through all facets of life. Learning that desires could be wonderful and ugly. Learning he could only trust peoples honest desires that they kept private.

But Caleb made him so tangled and unsteady.
He had to simply, trust him.
His broken heart still split open from loss, was filled so much by him, in the last several weeks, that even with the distance, even with his heart bleeding out it stayed full.

Pursuing him like this, fucking him, kissing him, it was all selfish. He knew this. He didn't want Caleb to go back to the Fleet, to the cold order that loomed over them. He wanted him here, within reach, whenever he wanted him. Claim his heart and anchor him to himself. Leashed by his side forever.

Even if it was wrong. Even if it was something he was sure would burn out between them eventually.
Each thought was with a deep thrust and Caleb moaned his name with each one.

Caleb was his anchor.

“Sy-lus-”Each syllable broken by the thrust.

Caleb was his promise.

“Sy-”

Caleb was his betrayal.

“-lus”

Caleb was his sin

"Sy-"

Caleb was his. 

The proof of that was the warmth between their naked bodies, the way Caleb held onto him desperately overstimulated, and overwhelmed by his pleasure, and moaned his name. The way Calebs hips bucked to meet his so naturally. The way he pulled him in, then willingly gave himself to him.

“Caleb- You feel- so good-” Sylus rasped as his hips that spread Calebs legs slammed into him, and his cock stretched his virgin hole to its limit.

The pressure was built in Sylus' core and he couldl feel his balls tighten, but he wanted to deny his physical response. Drag it out. More.

“Caleb-” Sylus moaned his name and thrust hard again, feeling him clench on his length. Caleb pulled him in and put his mouth to Sylus'.

“Fuck- it's so tight-” Sylus breathed against his lips, and emitted a moan into Calebs mouth as Caleb kissed him deeply. Intimately. Caleb wanted every part of him.

Sylus squeezed him to himself possessively in his arms as he pumped into him; A sheen of sweat was coating their skin.

Sylus broke the kiss and buried his face into his neck gasping as he thrust. He bit down on his sensitive marked skin.

Deeper. Harder. More.

“Sy-” His name fragmented on Calebs lips laced with pain as Sylus bit him; a throb ran through Sylus' spine at the tone. He grabbed his hips pulling him down on himself as he thrust into him roughly, the uneven weight of Calebs arms holding them both close together.

Caleb shuddered with pleasure that surged through him as he experienced another intense orgasm, his cum squirting out, in rhythm with Sylus' final thrusts.

Caleb couldn't hold it back at all. It was different than cumming from his cock, far more intense and explosively pleasurable, he had no control.

His evol, pulsed with him, scattering through the room combined with Sylus' Raw waves of energy. Their evol mixing and resonating together.

Sylus' own orgasm followed.

Caleb could feel the cock buried into his ass swell with the throb of release. One final deep thrust in, bottoming out in him.

“Sy-!” Calebs pleasured voice breaking his name, finally pulled Sylus into orgasm with him.
Sylus' his hips pressed harder into him, bucking as euphoria coursed through his every nerve, as Caleb came on his cock and moaned the syllables of name so sweetly.

Each throb pumping his seed deep inside of him. Calebs hips tilted slightly to meet him, and a pleasured moan escaped from Sylus as the others nails dug into his skin.

Cumming inside him was like nothing he had ever had before.

His hips bucked on their own for a few more pumps both emitting soft sounds as the orgasm ebbed.

The men stilled, and rested together, Sylus' cock still buried deep in his ass. Both their bodies shivering together, both pleasure dazed.

Sylus pulled steadily out of him and rested on top of him, his half hard cock hanging between Calebs thighs, his cum drooling out of him.

Caleb had always been, perfect.
A soldier. A guardian. A man built to serve, protect, and provide results.
The best of the best.
The best in class, the best athlete, the best at his job, the best lover.

He had never been held like this.

Never been the one allowed to need. Only the provider.

Always the one who steadied others, never the one who was steadied.

Sylus’ affection dismantled something in him, piece by piece, until all that was left was the part that had never learned how to be cared for.

He had never felt such deep affection.

Caleb never wanted to leave his side. His orgasm combined with his unexpected emotional reaction was so intense tears dripped from his eyes in the aftermath as he started to come undone. He had been better about handling things without the toring chip, but this was on a completely different level, from somewhere deep inside him. It was as if his physical release led to the emotional release. He unlooped his hands from around Sylus' shoulders, and hid his face with the back of his hand out of embarrassment for his own emotions. But he couldn't choke back the soft shivering sob.
“Fuck-”

Sylus eyes widened slightly but he just reacted following his instinct.
Caleb was deeply damaged, and far more fragile than he let on; They were a lot like in that way.

He wanted to take care of him. Protect his promise. A feeling beyond just his sense of commitment to his promise to her.

Sylus felt privileged, to have ever seen his inner most fragility. It made him feel superior to others in some way to have witnessed a piece of Caleb he hid from everyone else.

He ran his hand gently through his soft dark hair keeping his arm around him, he took Calebs warm hand that was hiding his face, and leaned close, kissing away the tears.
“It's alright.” He soothed softly, his tender tone barely even a whisper. He physically urged Caleb to put his arms back around his neck; and he shifted them both to lay on their side facing each other. Holding him against himself. Caleb hid his face in his neck, overwhelmed by his vulnerability. Their naked bodies pressed together. It felt safe in his embrace.

“Fuck- sorry- I'm so overwhelmed-” Caleb whispered as a few more tears dripped out of his eyes at the idea of going back; of the impending emptiness at his side, the risk of another toring chip, the risk of forgetting this feeling. The depth of his feeling of attachment towards Sylus, and how quickly it formed in him, scared him.

“I know you are.” He whispered to Caleb. 

“I just want to stay-” Caleb said his voice felt tight.

Sylus’s throat felt tight. There were no words that could keep the Fleet away, no promise that could protect what they had. And no words to soothe or make sense of Calebs inner emotions.
Still, he whispered against Caleb’s skin,
“I know,” His voice low.
“It will be fine.” Sylus whispered assuring him gently. Sylus didn't want to lie to him, didn't know how much time they could buy. How long he could delay. He was only one man, versus the Fleet. He wasn't willing to risk the lives of his men in Onychinus for his own selfish greed. It was his problem alone.

Some time passed and, their bodies cooled, and Caleb calmed down. Sylus slid a hand down his side. He desperately wanted to just sleep, he hadn't slept since the night before, and in truth, he was exhausted.

But they couldn't sleep like this as much as he wanted to. They were covered in sweat and cum.

“Come on. We're both a mess. Let's clean up before we sleep.” Sylus' voice was soft and full of fondness that he had been holding back, and he shifted to stand and Caleb nodded, feeling calmer, followed after him.

“Yeah alright-” Caleb started to say but his legs felt shockingly weak and threatened to give out from under him, Sylus held him steady though.

“Careful- I was rougher than I meant to be for your first time.” Sylus admitted looping his arm around Calebs mid section and keeping him upright and steady, and helped him to his private master bathroom.

Calebs mind flickered to a few of the men he'd had, some had similar reactions as himself, unraveling after, having a difficult time walking. His expression darkened, as he thought about how he had coldly sent them on their way, or watched as their toring chip silenced their emotions.

Sylus' hand on his midsection tightened a little and it pulled him out of his thoughts.

“I'm fine...” Caleb said and looked away from him. “It was unexpectedly intense. Not just physically.” He muttered.

“Yeah? Come. I'll clean you.” Sylus said as he adjusted the water and then ushered Caleb in first, stepping in after him. He leaned his back against the cold tile of the shower and hissed lightly as the scratches from Calebs nails stung. Regardless of his own pain he pulled Caleb to himself so he could rest a little, and take some weight off his legs, making him lean on him.

Sylus' hands slid down the curve of his back, between his cheeks, and he gently used a finger on his raw entrance, and cleaned his own cum out of him and off his thighs carefully. Letting the warm water do the work of rinsing it away. Feeling his body quiver against himself. With no resistance he drew Caleb to his lips and kissed him with a gentle passion as he cleaned him.

Sylus was aware of how raw and sore he probably was, and his emotions. He didn't want to let him go. He wanted to maintain this closeness. Caleb in his arms, reacting and shivering to his touch.

Just a little longer.

Caleb was addicting, and he understood keenly, the pull that Caleb held with people. He really was the embodiment of gravity, drawing everything around him closer, like a law of nature.
“That should do.” He said resting his hands on his sides.

The warm water fogged the glass door, and warmly wrapped around them. Sylus guided him to sit on the shower stool and waited until Caleb sat, his movements slow and careful. He took the soap, and a rag and working it across Caleb’s shoulders, watching the water trail down the lines of his back. He had left a few scratches of his own. Every motion was careful. Tender with his bite marks, that he secretly coveted. He hoped those marks would last for a long time.

“How are you feeling? Does it hurt?” Sylus asked breaking the quiet between them as he prepared to wash his hair. He wanted to hear his voice.

“Yeah, but that's probably to be expected.” Caleb answered him.
“You didn't have to wash me too.” He said his cheeks flushing as he looked away. Caleb leaned into his touch despite his words. The moment was simple, and domestic, and pleasant. It was a strange feeling, and unexplained guilt mixed into his emotions.

“Mhm..” Sylus didn't even argue with him and it left Caleb reeling, he had no space to protest.
“Eyes closed.” Sylus said as he massaged his scalp and worked his shampoo through Calebs hair. Caleb simply relented and allowed him to do as he liked.

Sylus rinsed his hair thoroughly, and slicked back his hair before taking his jaw and lifting his chin. Making him look him in the eye.

“Just let me take care of you.” He finally responded. He leaned down kissing his swollen lips softly, the water running between their mouths. Caleb closed his purple eyes appreciatively. His shoulders relaxing he kissed him back.

“I guess... that's what you've been doing since the beginning.” Caleb said as they separated, and Sylus went back to fussing over him and cleaning him. 

“I guess it is.” Sylus responded as he let out a soft laugh at his words.

After the shower, and in clean underwear, Caleb seemed to regain his strength and Sylus went to move towards his bed but Caleb caught him and tossed his towel over his head. 

"sit." he said leading Sylus towards his bed, he did as he was told as Caleb stood in front of him. 

“wh-” He started to say but he felt Calebs hands through the towel.

“You're just going to go in your bed with wet hair? Make sure you dry it properly.” He said quietly as he tousled his hair with it.
“Otherwise you'll get sick.” Caleb added.

His words sent a warm feeling through Sylus from the back of his neck. His blushing face was hidden by the towel but a visible small smile played on his lips.

When Caleb was satisfied, he pulled the towel off and tossed it to the floor with their clothes, and Sylus flopped back onto the silk sheets, only wearing the apple tag, and clean underwear. The bed had signs of their intimacy. Lube, and cum stained the silk. He didn't care that the bed was dirty. He was exhausted, running on empty, no sleep, and then the laborious intimacy with Caleb.

“It's been a really long day for me.” He said looking up at the ceiling, with an exhausted tone.
“Dealing with those rats was a lot of work. Maybe you should join me when I clear out the rest of them.” He said, looking over at Caleb, who lingered at the edge of the bed. Sylus' crimson gaze softened as he recognized his hesitation, the internal darkness, and conflict in Calebs eyes, and he reached a hand out for him.

“Come lay with me... Sleep with me tonight.” Sylus invited, Caleb looked at his hand and hesitated; He couldn't help but compare him to a wild animal hesitantly trusting a human with an offering. He smiled sadly,  blaming himself for Calebs hesitance, because of how he treated him before.
But Caleb took his hand regardless, instead of withdrawing; it made his heartbeat stumble. 

Sylus gripped him by the wrist, pulling him roughly, and a little playfully to his side, his lips curved lightly as he did with a mischievousness behind his eyes.

“ah-hey-!” Caleb protested his voice cracked with a laugh. He resisted and rolled them, together.
“I- see you're-” Sylus huffed as he tried to resist and grip Calebs hands to stop his antics.
“-Quick to recover-” His voice playful but strained against Calebs strength, they grappled wordlessly trying to one-up each other.

Caleb just chuckled as he easily pinned him, his breathing a little heavier. His hands on Sylus' pressing them into the blankets, he grinned at his win.

“Got you.” He said triumphantly panting lightly from the game. A sense of deja'vu ran through Sylus. His crimson eyes seeking Calebs.

He realized, Caleb could have easily positioned himself as the top and lead their intimacy from earlier.

“Now you have to give me a reward” Caleb said teasing as he leaned down, and kissed Sylus' lips, urging him to part them, and deepening it. Sylus kissed him back, his hands relaxing against his and their fingers laced together. Caleb drew back and pulled Sylus until he was the one holding him. Doing as he liked was, freeing.

“I'm tired out so that's unfair.” Sylus commented a little breathless, his tone unserious, but he settled quickly resting his head of white hair on his shoulder; Caleb put his arms around him feeling the rhythm of his own pulse in his ears.
Sylus exhaled slow and controlled and Caleb used his evol to pull the luxury blanket over them both, the sound of the fabric shifting between them softly. He adjusted it until they were covered together. His hand settled on his side and his fingers absently traced the curve with idle care.

“I won't push you away again.” Sylus murmured in an exhaustion worn voice. His eyelids felt heavy. “I didn't mean to be like that, before, either...” Calebs hand slid up his side and then through Sylus' hair.

“What did you mean to do then?” He asked stroking the white strands and pinching the ends between his fingertips.

“I don't know...I just... I wasn't ready.” He answered honestly. 

"and now?" Caleb asked, his hand going still. 

"I... Don't know." Sylus said again not sure how to express his emotions, or his desire for Caleb. 

His unsure words made Caleb shift restlessly, leaving Sylus' head to the pillow and pushing himself up a little the blanket slipping off his shoulder; shifting enough to to look down at Sylus, searching. Their eyes met, Sylus' apparent exhaustion softened his usually sharp features as he looked up at him.

“Promise.” Caleb said quietly the word trembled between them.
He needed to hear it.
“Promise you won't push me away.” He said again.

He needed something solid to hold onto in all the chaos and uncertainty between them. The only thing that held any certainty was Sylus' conviction towards his promises. Towards Caleb.

Sylus felt tense as he met those violet eyes that pulled him in. He coaxed Caleb to relax, and pulled the blanket back to cover him. Resting his arm across him his head back on his shoulder, and resting his hand on his other shoulder.

He whispered, with all of his sincerity that his tired body and mind could muster.
“I promise.”

Chapter Text

Caleb woke with a small startle. Whatever dream he was having vanished from his mind the moment his violet eyes opened.

For several disoriented moments he couldn't tell where he was, he had slept deeply, and better than he had in months. Before they had even lost her.

They.

The word struck him as he lay there, half tangled in silk and another mans bodyheat. When had it become their grief instead of just his own in his mind? When had the boundary blurred enough that loss itself felt shared?

He didn't shift from his position right away, there was a firm warm body against him, and warm arms were around him in a loose and possessive hold head resting on his shoulder, soft breath against his neck. He could Smell Sylus' bodywash, like burnt cedar and cinnamon.

The previous night came back in disordered fragments through his mind before it fell back into place, like runway visibility as morning fog slowly dissipated.

The collapse of the quiet tension they had been holding between them for weeks, the way that Sylus stopped resisting emotionally, the way he gave himself to Sylus, the intimacy of it, the pleasure.

God the pleasure.

The aftercare.

The promise.
His heart rate picked up, and he tried to self soothe, trying to calm his beating heart. They had gone far beyond the point of no return. At least for him.

He shifted slightly, feeling the faint weight of the blanket slide against his bare skin. The space between them felt too close, too intimate, and he felt mildly trapped; his lungs felt tight. He tried to ease away, careful not to wake him, and arms squeezed deliberately against him.
“...Sylus.” he whispered, unsure if he meant to wake him or not.

He brought his hand up and brushed it over Sylus' slightly course hair and then tried to roll over, but the arms immediately tightened and held him in place; not forceful, just insistent.

He felt Sylus press his lips to his neck that sent a quiver down his spine, and his hips pressed against him, pointedly, making him feel his stiff cock through his underwear against his side.

“you always wake up so early” Sylus rasped his voice was low and gravelly.
“Stay with me.” Sylus murmured to him. “Sleep a little longer.”

He pressed his lips to his neck again, it was unhurried and lingering. A warmth spread from the spot across Calebs shoulders and face, as he felt his kiss get hotter and heavier as his tongue met his skin too.

Caleb’s breath caught. His heart pounded so hard he thought Sylus might feel it in his veins on his neck. He did. His crimson eyes looking up towards Calebs, the angle not allowing eye contact but he could see the blushing expression.
Calebs body started to feel charged.

He didn’t turn to face him, and didn’t speak; the moment was too fragile for words. Then he felt Sylus’s hands move slowly, and deliberately. Sliding down from his ribs to his abdomen. Each pass of his fingers drew a shiver from him, a quiet surrender he couldn’t hide.

Those sly deliberate hands reached his cock where he was hard from a mixture of waking up and this closeness. Caleb exhaled at the feeling of his fingers running over him and gripping him, one finger stroking his balls gently through the fabric.

So eager.

Sylus was a lot more physically affectionate than he had imagined. It surprised him, how easily Sylus was reaching for him now after so much distance between them. But maybe it made sense. Caleb had started to understand Sylus was more fluent in movement than speech, more honest through the quiet press of a hand or the weight of a gaze or physical gesture be it from his own body, or handing him something.

Each touch carried intention, not demand, not possession, but something gentle. It made Caleb feel wanted in a way he hadn’t realized he’d been starving for.
Wanted not for his duty, not for his usefulness, or as a tool that served as a means of survival; but simply for himself.
For someone who lived by discipline, and restraint, Sylus’ affection was disarming, and Caleb selfishly indulged in it.

“You seem like you have more than just sleep on the mind.” Caleb said coyly pressing against Sylus, rubbing against his hard cock. Sylus let out a low chuckle as his kisses moved down his neck to his shoulder.

“mm- How could I have anything else on my mind? Only hours ago, you were moaning my name so sweetly for me.” He bit gently down on a sore mark he'd left on the nape of Calebs neck earning a noise of protest from him that went through him like a jolt; He flexed his cock suggestively against him.

“Next time you'll be the one moaning for me.” Caleb said trying to roll over to face him again; But Sylus only tightened his hold, denying the motion with lazy strength, only for Caleb to insist and break the hold enough to move as he liked.

Face to face their eyes met in the quiet between them; Caleb wanted to kiss him, so he did, leaning close and pressing his lips to his, pushing him back into the pillow a little.

“So there's going to be a next time?” Sylus asked with a sly smile his words a little breathless. Caleb chuckled softly in response, his face flushed.

“How are you feeling? There's not too much pain?” Sylus asked shifting his hand to Calebs front, before dipping a finger below the waistband, one finger rubbing against the edge of his cock, and his thumb making small circles just above on his lower abdomen.

“Sore. My thighs, my back my ass-” His voice hitched slightly. He thought about some of the officers that had been his bottom, how they moved just a little more sluggishly in training, no complaints, despite their soreness.

Maybe he had been a little sadistic, a little more harsh on them in particular, with no consideration for them; How he had simply dumped his load and then made them leave in the dead of night to stagger back to their own quarters by themselves with no aftercare.

“I didn't think just taking it would be so exhausting.” He admitted, he paused for a moment just enjoying Sylus' touch. “Or emotional...” He said quieter his voice fringed with embarrassment. Sylus' touches paused, and he just held him.

“You showed me your honest self.” His hand squeezed a little.

He shifted and braced slightly below him, kissing his clavicle and up to his adams apple, Caleb tipped his head up, feeling Sylus' hair brush against his jaw, before his lips moved up. Then urging him to turn his head and meet his mouth and they kissed softly again.

They stayed in bed together for a while longer, just touching, and talking about nothing in particular. Teasing remarks that faded into comfortable silence. Just forgetting about the problems outside the room. About the fleet, or the deal with Onychinus and the ever present duties that pressed on the edges of their minds.

Eventually restlessness began to creep in. It was like muscle memory, Calebs mind refusing to allow him to just, be still, or idle for long. He shifted finally to pull away from Sylus to get out of bed.

Sylus watched apprehensively as the distance between them grew and the spot in front of him where Caleb was, just was seconds ago in his bed cooled. Caleb went to pick up his clothes from yesterday off the floor, folding them, the habit of always cleaning up after himself or another, but he didn't make it far before Sylus grabbed his wrist gently, stopping him.

“Let my housekeeping take care of it. Wear some of my clothes today.” He said his eyes tracing over Calebs body.

“That's not really necessary” Caleb tried to reject not hesitating at all.

“Come on, humor me. I'll show you.” Sylus insisted. He got out of bed and crossed the room, his Evol shifting things that had moved from their activities in the night, back to where they belonged as he passed.
He went to his walk-in closet and pulled on a clean set of clothes of his own. A plain black tshirt, black slacks. He pulled on a black and red dress-shirt but didn't button it up yet, loosening Calebs silver necklace from below the collar of his tshirt.

He stood for a moment thinking of what to give Caleb, and finally settled on a choice, a typical vneck t-shirt, and, a gray sweater, black slacks. “here, these should be closer to your preferred style.” He said as he handed them off.

Caleb ran his fingers over the material, heavy, soft, and expensive. Sylus was leaning on the frame of the closet door watching him as he pulled the clothes over his body. Moving carefully, due to the soreness in his muscles. A lingering reminder of the night before.

Sylus' gaze felt, possessive, and indulgent, as they scanned over the way his tshirt which fit him just right, seemed to stretch over his pecs and arms, just a little more. If anything DAA and Farspace certainly produced a beautiful man.

Sylus could see the kind of things he wore on his own, luxury brand belts, and watches. The highest quality, and cutting edge tech. But it was casual, understated. Something a regular person with a regular salary wouldn't usually notice.

There was something to Caleb wearing his clothes that he liked.

Sylus had carried that quiet authority, the kind that didn’t need to be spoken aloud. Even half dressed, barefoot. His presence filled the narrow space in a way that made Caleb want to give him what he wanted.
He glanced away from him, pulling on the cuff of the sweater a little, before sliding the sleeves up his forearms
“you don't have to keep doing things like this for me.” Caleb said.

Sylus tilted his head “Things like what?”

Caleb paused, “Like..” his voice hesitated, caught between honesty, and self-preservation and not knowing what to say exactly. He didn't have, the words to describe the unpleasant feeling that twisted in him. Every time Sylus was gentle to him. Every time he was openly caring. A certain uncomfortable apprehensiveness, came with his acts of service.

There was more to his discomfort than just his simple resentment and spite that had existed in the heart of their faded rivalry; Though that added quite a lot on top of it at the beginning, now that those emotions had been shed, the discomfort remained.

Being in the lab had taught him that kindness was never free, that it was a prelude to something owed. Care came with strings, and favors, and it only came with something always owed in return.
An experiment, his forced obedience, a painful price, that always lived in the back of his mind since he was a child.
The unease and mistrust lodged in him, was old, and automatic.

Even now, with Sylus’ warmth still on his skin, the sensation of their intimacy deep inside him, that reflex twisted beneath the surface. He didn't know how to accept this steady stream of affection.

“Like... taking care of me and stuff... It's fine you don't need to do it so much.” he said his body language shifting, he crossed his false arm across his chest, and held his real one, closing off to the other man.

He could feel Sylus' unreadable crimson eyes on him and his pulse stuttered.

Sylus gazed at him. There was something dark in Caleb, that he couldn't quite see.

He pushed off the door frame and closed the distance between them in a few unhurried steps. Caleb’s body reacted before his mind did, retreating until the shelves met his shoulders, and he turned his head, lightly surprised, to look back at them before he looked at him with darkened twilight eyes.

Sylus braced a hand beside his head against the shelf; the motion was casual but caging.

“Maybe I want to.” His voice was assertive. “Just because I feel like it, and no other reason other than that.”

Caleb forced a small laugh, trying to relax, but something inside him twisted tight.

Want.

The word hung between them, too simple for the chaos it stirred in him. He felt like a liability, a mess dressed in borrowed decadence.

“Sylus-” He started to say but the other leaned in and put his lips to his silencing his thought. It wasn't aggressive. It was seeking. Calebs hand braced against his chest instinctively and his other hand gripping his hip, he didn't push him away.
Sylus' other hand slid around the small of his back holding him firmly as they kissed each other.

Caleb easily relented into his affections, despite his unease; His other hand gripped the fabric of his t-shirt and his fingers tangled with the apple tags chain, as he did.

Their kiss lasted long, as Sylus soothed his turmoil. Giving space to breathe only to kiss the corner of his mouth, his jaw, his lips again. He didn't know, where that turmoil came from, or why. But he didn't want Caleb to feel that way towards him.

He wanted him.

And he wanted Caleb to want him; even for something as simple as giving him a sweater. He couldn't shake the feeling of there being a door closed off to him by Caleb that he wasn't allowed to know about. But he wanted to see behind it. He wanted to see every corner of his mind, and know every single part of him. From his favorite color, down to his deepest smallest fragments of inner thoughts.

When Sylus separated from him, both were panting lightly. He reluctantly let him go and gave him space.

“I just-” Caleb paused not sure what to say or do right away. How quickly his anxiety was dispelled by Sylus. He wasn't used to, someone doing things for him so freely and willingly.

“I should probably start filing my reports-” He started to say, but Sylus interrupted him.

“Wait. Don't go disappearing on me yet. If you don't want me to take care of you, then you take care of me instead.” Sylus said grasping at anything to make Caleb stick around. To keep his attention on himself. An unusual sense of desperation flickering in his heart.
When Caleb was paying attention to him he felt like he could make the sun shine for him, the birds sing, the goddamned flowers bloom for them-

“What do you need?” Caleb asked shifting and looking him over.

“Help me button.” Sylus said leaning back against the shelves and holding his hands up and spreading his fingers. Caleb didn't react right away not sure what to make of the request.

“What? can't do it?” Sylus asked insistence laced through his voice, not allowing a silence to grow.

“well- Yes I can-” Caleb stepped closer and started from the bottom Sylus watching him focus as he buttoned each one. He was handsome when he focused, his purple eyes lowered, his dark lashes casting a slight shadow on his cheeks from the light directly overhead, as he blinked.

Sylus wanted more.

His time.

His attention.

The affections that he craved so deeply. For how long he craved him, he had no idea. It was longer than a month, that craving was a feeling buried under the disdain and rivalry. He had hated him, for so long.

When Caleb got to the last few buttons he paused, slipping his fingers under the collar against Sylus' chest, and pulled the necklace out from beneath. His hand ran down the length of the chain feeling it's weight in his hand but his eyes were drawn to the marks he left on Sylus' throat. His ears and edge of his cheeks felt warm seeing them. He leaned him and tipped Sylus' chin up, and put his lips against his neck, feeling Sylus' rapid pulse in his life vein under his kiss there.

“There you go, all buttoned up.” He muttered quietly to him against his skin. This is what he was used to. This kind of domestic care, towards someone, not from them.

Sylus couldn't help but smile at him, he wanted to kiss him again and again.

“I should really get on those reports.” Caleb said filling the quiet air and turning away.

“hmm But work can wait right? For a while longer? You still haven't made me breakfast yet.” Sylus said with wry tone, as he pulled Caleb back into his routine that had been holding them both together for so long now.
“It wouldn't be good for you to skip a meal either. At least have breakfast with me.” Sylus insisted.

Caleb hesitated and bit his scarred lip. “alright... breakfast. But then I really have to fill out some reports and arrange some expeditions to keep the fleets General off my back.” He muttered to Sylus, whose smile deepened satisfaction flashing in his red eyes. He held his hand out for Caleb who took it without thinking and he grasped him and led them to the kitchen.

---

The kitchen was all granite and steel; The N109 zone was as light out as it could get for daytime, and the penthouse was far above the dark haze of the glowing skyline. Caleb took to the kitchen.

He busied himself collecting his ingredients and setting a pan on the stove and prepping. Sylus did his own thing in a separate corner, preparing coffee for both of them.

Soon the room filled with the scent of caramelizing onions, garlic, and coffee. It was a familiar, and pleasant welcoming scent, like home. He collected two cups, and poured coffee for Caleb.
He placed one sugar cube, and an equal amount of cream watching the cream bloom in the dark liquid and then stirred. The way he had learned that Caleb liked it.
“Just a bit of sugar and an equal amount of cream?” Caleb asked checking as Sylus set it in his spot for him where they usually sat together.
He preferred his own with one sugar, and nothing more.
“Mhm, I remember.” Sylus answered stirring his own cup and then bringing it to his lips.
“Oh I'm surprised you remember something like that.” Caleb said absently his hands busy. Sylus took to leaning on the counter near him, hovering just a little close in his space.

“you cook like you've been doing it a thousand times in my kitchen” Sylus commented; Caleb glanced over at him smiling faintly,

“yeah well. I got used to cooking in all kinds of kitchens since I would cook for her. At her place, at mine, in the fleet commons, for myself and the boys in DAA, in luxury hotels with kitchenettes. She was a seriously picky eater.”

A silence picked up, and a soft unguarded expression crossed Sylus' face. “My chef would have loved to have had you around at the start, to get her preferences down.” He said reminiscently thinking about the many rejected meals. He took a drink of the coffee.

Caleb turned back to the stove, shifting the onions and then the sauce around in a smaller different pan, pretending to be too focused to hear the weight in Sylus' tone. Trying to hide his darkening expression.

He didn’t want to think about her right now. Even though he was the one that brought it up. He didn’t want to think about the fact that every small act of care he gave, and many of his hobbies, began with her. Every single thing he knew about cooking was because of her. It stung him to hear about her being taken care of by someone else at all because of his own choices.

It wasn't logical, but when were emotions ever.

Sylus set the coffee down on the counter and drew closer to him.
“What are you making today anyways?” He asked as he ran a hand over Calebs arm. It wasn’t possessive, but grounding, as if making sure Caleb was still there in the present. Caleb’s breath caught briefly, but he didn’t move away.

“I'm making eggs and a couple other things. Now go be patient for your food. You’re distracting me.” Caleb said, though his voice lacked much seriousness or push.

“That’s the point. Don't disappear into your mind like that.” Sylus said leaning forward to speak against his ear. How easily he caught when he was dangerously close to spiraling. He placed a kiss on the side of Calebs neck as he leaned against him, and stole a small taste of the sauce Caleb was making from one of the pans with his finger.

Caleb swatted at him with the spatula. “It's hot!” he warned abruptly.

“It's worth it.” Sylus replied the smirk audible in his voice, licking the taste away and giving a sly grin when Caleb's gaze lingered on him from his peripheral.
“Since you have the time to steal, you stir.” He said handing Sylus the spatula, who took it automatically, instinctively taking what was handed towards him.
Caleb stepped aside and gestured.
“Quick or it will be ruined.” Sylus glanced over at him and took the spot at Calebs urgent tone.

“I just stir right?” He said standing in front of the pan and swirling the sauce with it from side to side, feeling a little out of place with his motions.

“No- like this, if you go to slowly the sauce will split.” He stood behind Sylus and embraced him, one hand on his hip. He put his other hand over his, moving his arm in the correct motion and pace.
“Does the direction really matter?” Sylus asked his voice unphased but his ears and back of his neck had turned red. Caleb smiled at the sight of this.

"It does. Technique is important. Now keep stirring. One of the privileges is the Chef gets to taste test freely.” He dipped his own finger into the sauce.

“See how the flavor has already changed?" He said low into his ear, and bringing his finger up to his mouth Caleb pressed and smeared a little, Sylus opened his lips for him to lick the the wet sauce from his lips.
He slid his finger between those parted soft lips making him suck, his other hand slid down his front and stopping on his lower abdomen and he pressed suggestively against him.

Caleb slid his fingers deeper into his mouth pressing on his tongue with the tips; Sylus' breath grew heated, and heavier, a soft vocal tone emitted from him, as Caleb fingered his mouth-

“Boss!” Luke’s voice rang out through the halls before even reaching the archway to the kitchen. Before either could speak again or take it any further, the sound of footsteps all broke the quiet intimacy.

“We brought the morning briefing-”

Caleb pulled his fingers out of Sylus' mouth, and quickly put a little distance between them, going to the side, to the sink, to turn on the water to make it as if he was dealing with something.

“-and breakfast!” Kieran’s voice followed.

The twins emerged in near unison, both were dressed sharply in their dark uniforms, their crow masks gleaming faintly in the light. One half of the room seemed to brighten instantly with their energy.

Luke paused in the kitchen tossing a fastfood bag carelessly onto the island counter, and looking between the Colonel and his Boss. The atmosphere was notably... off. Kierans sharp eyes spying the marks on Calebs neck.

"Ohh so-" Luke started

“Luke!” Kieran cut in, voice calm, chiding, his hand resting lightly on his brother’s arm. “Don’t.”

“What?” Luke said, unrepentant grin flashing beneath his mask. “We’re just saying good morning.”

Caleb shook his head, quickly composing himself, trying to get his body to calm down, and focus back on the cooking washing his hands. Sylus masked his sheepishness, and remained facing away as if undisturbed and unbothered. The only hint of their perversion being his blush. He handed the spatula over to Caleb to take over when he motioned to have it.

“you two are as energetic as always.” Caleb said with a laughing warmth to his tone as he took back over stirring, and Sylus collected his cup being just a little uncharacteristically quiet.

“Of course, Captain.” Luke said, stealing a cherry tomato and shifting his mask up to eat it without asking. “You cooking now? It smells so good.” He said as he went over to a stool at the island counter.

Kieran took the seat beside him at the counter, folding his hands neatly. “We brought updates on the southern district locations you were interested in Boss. Mephi is back too with surveillance.” he said, his tone level but eyes flicking toward Sylus with silent understanding.

Sylus straightened slightly, slipping back into his role properly.

“We’ll review in the office after breakfast.” he said, his eyes flicking over to Caleb. “Why don't you join us for breakfast. You'll like it better than fast food.” Sylus told them. It was more of an order than a request.

“Thanks Boss!” Kieran replied, while Luke leaned back in his chair, still stealing glances between the two older men, sensing something was just happening, but couldn't name what.

Caleb cracked some eggs, a faint smile tugging at his mouth as he listened to the twins bicker quietly. It felt almost normal; Exactly the kind of quiet domestic atmosphere he lost the day the explosion happened.

Sylus' crimson gaze caught his eye. For a moment, the world stilled again just that shared look.

The twins chatter filled the room as Caleb plated the last of the food. He set it in front of them with practiced ease. Luke immediately started eating, his mask pushed up and hood down similarly to Kieran, revealing their red hair. Luke humming appreciatively with the first few bites as the flavor hit him; While Kieran murmured his thanks.

The kitchen almost felt alive in a way. They were just people sharing breakfast instead of a high ranking soldier, failed human weapon experiments, and the boss of Onychinus all sitting together.

Sylus leaned against the counter in his chair next to Caleb, instead of touching his own food. His eyes were tracking Caleb. There was something grounding in watching him move even as he ate. Precise and disciplined. 

The way he moved was both habit and control. The kind of way he held himself as a Soldier, rather than the side Sylus had seen in the bedroom. He couldn't help but wonder, what the real soldier was like. Not the injured and broken man that he had come to know. He wanted to see more than mere glimpses.  

It made him aware, that the Caleb he knew, and the one other people knew, was a different person. It was similar for Caleb as well he supposed. There was a certain tenderness in him that Caleb had seen, but in the eyes of others he was smooth and calculated killer. He was viewed as a notorious monster.

Kieran glanced at a hologram screen for a moment, just below the counter, and then placed the holopad down. Catching Calebs attention.

“Boss... latest from Fleet command. The Colonels general sent an encrypted message to the secretarial contact for Onychinus. They want your feedback by noon, Colonel.”

The normalcy cracked. Caleb’s shoulders tensed, his expression dimmed. He reached for the holopad, but Sylus’s hand got there first.

“I’ll take that.” Sylus said. His tone wasn’t sharp. But it carried authority. Kieran hesitated, then glanced at Caleb, who sighed quietly. “What have I told you about business at the table?” He scolded lightly

“Sylus-” Caleb started to say.

“I know.” Sylus murmured, interrupting him. He turned the holopad between his fingers. “Still... Just have breakfast and stop working.” His gaze flicked to Caleb’s neck. Marks still visible, half-hidden by the collar of Sylus’ sweater. “Almost like they can’t stand to let you off their leash for five minutes...”

Caleb froze. “It’s my job.”

“That’s what they made it.” Sylus countered. Sylus placed the holopad down between himself, and Caleb, but didn’t let go of it immediately. His crimson eyes met Caleb’s.

Intense.

Possessive.

conflicted.

Kieran, sensing the tension and impeding argument, interjected.

“I know you don't like business talk at the table. But I don't think this can wait...We’ve gathered the southern district files, Boss. The land surveys, resource indexes, and population flows. It’s everything the Fleet asked for outside of signing the contract with them.”

At that, Caleb’s head tilted. “They already sent the requests through?”

“Yesterday evening.” Kieran replied. “Expedited, from your general’s office.”

Caleb’s expression hardened. That was fast. Too fast. The Fleet had only wanted him to draft a contract for a small parcel of land so they could land ships and move cores. Suddenly requesting a ton of data like that seemed brazen.

“It appears the Fleet’s eager to plant their flag in my territory while they still have leverage,” Sylus murmured, swirling his coffee.

Luke grinned, oblivious. “Guess that means the negotiations are going well, huh?”

“Not at all.” Sylus said, voice low, “It means someone’s trying to move the pieces before I can see the board.”

A quiet settled between them. The twins glanced at each other when Sylus continued. “They must be eager,” he spoke lightly, but his eyes were sharp.

“Funny how haste always favors the side holding the pen.”

Caleb laid down his utensils, his appetite had died. His shoulders tensed.

“I’ll send my report after breakfast. When they say they expect my initial read by noon what they really mean is before.”

Sylus’ tone softened, though the tension didn't ease. “You’ll send what you need to send.” he said carefully. “Not everything they expect.

Their eyes met, Caleb’s steady and hard to read, Sylus’ dark with warning. It wasn't open to defiance. A line drawn in shadow. Caleb suddenly felt torn, between doing his job as the best, or being loyal to Sylus'... to onychinus, which he didn't even belong to.

Luke slouched back in his stool, muttering to Kieran, “I hate when they do that thing where they talk without saying anything.”
Kieran nudged him sharply, muttering back, “Shut up and eat. We do the same thing all the time”

---

After breakfast, the twins excused themselves, their laughter fading down the hall until the kitchen fell quiet again. Sylus lingered in the archway looking back at Caleb who cleaned up.

He didn't take long before he made his exit to an office that he had been using for his remote Fleet duties.

He sat alone with the holo-console open, a mug of untouched coffee Sylus had poured for him in a final act of service, cooling beside his hand.

It was time to get back to work. The night before had to be put out of his mind and he had to focus. He was a high profile Colonel on official duty. An effective functioning cog in the machine that he was fastened to by circumstances.

The holographic interface hummed in the way that it did, casting pale blue light over his face. Rows of confidential text and graphs and maps reflected in his eyes. He typed methodically, the words forming a report that should have sounded confident, diplomatic, and decisive.

But it didn’t.

He knew it was incomplete.

The negotiations hadn’t truly begun. He could never get Sylus to just, go over it. Pushing it back more and more. Never the right time, never the right place. Too busy for something or other.

But the Fleet didn’t care about the truth.

They cared about motion, about results. They cared about control. If the gears stopped turning then they would simply force it to turn.

He hesitated before adding the last line. He had never written such a crap report in his entire career even as a cadet.

His finger hovered over the send icon.

The general’s face flashed through his mind: impatient, and sharp despite his lines of age. He was a man who saw people as gears, and he himself was just one of the larger gears in the machine.

Caleb exhaled and pressed send. The message streaked into the secure channel. There was no satisfaction in the act. Only dread.

He had to push down the memories of the researchers when he performed experiments poorly, but he couldn't push down the emotions that came with those memories, the only sign of his internal strife about it was a faint tremor in his flesh hand, while the false one stayed steady.

He sat back, pushing his hand through his hair, he held it back for a moment and just exhaled slowly. The faint hum of tech, and auditory feedback taps, as he worked with his other was the only sound in the room.

“Half a report.” Sylus’ voice broke the silence.

Caleb didn’t startle, purely out of discipline. Though he hadn’t heard him come in, and it made his heart jump. Sylus stood in the archway, with a coat thrown loosely over his shoulders, a file glowed in his hand. Caleb recognized the seal on that file.

The Fleet’s proposal.

Caleb didn’t look up from the hologram. “I sent what they needed.”
Sylus’ gaze lingered on him for a long moment. “You actually listened?” he said quietly. The edge in his voice was gone, replaced by something else, surprise, maybe gratitude. Then, softer still, “Not what they wanted?”
"Not what they wanted." Caleb confirmed quietly back. His voice a little downcast. Sylus' expression softened and he stepped forward, to stand behind Caleb, brushing his hand through his hair, Caleb leaning into it lightly. He flicked his eyes over the file in his hand, the holographic page glowing up at him.

His eyes scanned the text, expression tightening as he read. For a man like Sylus, whose composure rarely cracked, the subtle shift and tension in his hands alone, spoke volumes.

“Generous.” he said finally with a frown. “Too generous. Defense rights, trade privileges, open borders for Skyhaven and Fleet vessels...” He let the page scroll, his voice cooling. “...and unrestricted access to N109 as well as Onychinus stations for ‘fleet support.’ Allowance of open patrols at will for 'safety'. Free access to all of our 'relevant' data... our protocore resources and arms, for 'assistance' Surveillance installations into our production facilities. Firm compliance and cooperation from Onychinus This is far beyond, what you mentioned before. What happened to them being uninterested in 'this wasteland' ”

Caleb didn’t answer, and looked away from him. The terms had clearly changed in the last month.

Sylus’ gaze lifted to him, sharp now. “You realize what this is... don’t you...?” It wasn't so much a question. But a statement. He withdrew his hand.

Caleb’s silence was its own confession. He had helped draft this initial contract himself. At the time he didn't care what the Fleet demanded from the Prince of Onychinus, he hated the man, and left it wide open for revisions, and taking.

Now that his hatred for him had cooled he felt conflicted between him and his job.

“They’re offering silk chains. And they want me to put the cuffs on myself.” Sylus said quietly, “and calling it freedom.”

He closed the file, the holographic light fading between his fingers. His expression had darkened considerably.

“If I sign this, I might as well hand them the keys to my territory. They’d bleed it dry within a year, kill anyone that opposes them or poses as a threat, and tell the world they built it stronger and saved the world from a notorious criminal overlord.”

Caleb finally looked at him. His expression was careful, composed, but there was exhaustion behind it. “You think I don’t know that?”

“Then why haven’t you told them no?” Sylus asked pressing him.

“Because,” Caleb said, voice low, “it’s not my ‘no’ to give. It's yours”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The tension hung heavily in the air.

Sylus placed the file on the desk beside Caleb whose reaction internally was to pull away.

“You’re the Colonel of Farspace Fleet. The unofficial Envoy of Skyhaven,” he said softly. “But.. I keep forgetting that means they get to pull your strings, and make you dance.” His tone was unmasked bitterness.

Caleb didn’t look up. “It’s part of the job.” Caleb's voice was almost a snap at him.

“Seems more like a leash.” Sylus’ voice was low, not accusing, but edged with jealousy.

Caleb’s false hand paused over the hologram. “Maybe it is.” he said. "but saying that outloud doesn't change anything. I can't disobey orders." Caleb exhaled slowly, his shoulders felt tense. Sylus internally winced to hear Caleb just agree with it and his jaw tightened.

He rested his hand on the edge of the desk, close enough that Caleb could feel the warmth before he traced his fingers lightly down the side of his hand.

“Maybe you can't. But can't you just-” Sylus started but Caleb interrupted him.

“You think this is easy for me?” Frustration biting through his words.

“I think you’re used to being the best. The man that delivers. Even when it eats away at you and takes pieces of you with it.” Sylus responded, trying to keep his calm.

“That’s not fair.” Caleb’s voice rose sharply. Sylus flinched inwardly. “You don’t understand what it’s like up there-”

“I understand enough.” Sylus cut him off, his voice equally as sharp. He promised, not to push Caleb away, but it felt like Caleb was pushing him away now.

“Skyhaven, The Fleet. They don't negotiate. They consume. You show them a sliver of your world and they’ll take the whole sky with it.”

Caleb’s hand suddenly slammed the desk, the hologram flickering with the aggressive action, and Sylus flinched outwardly.

“You think I don’t know that?” Caleb said, but louder this time. His voice cracked. “I’ve seen what they do when they decide a soldier loses their value.”

Sylus’ anger flared for a moment but he quickly pushed it down. “You're not just a soldier. Why fight for them?”

Caleb turned to face him fully, eyes dark and tired. “Because it’s all I have left.” he snapped loudly, “Because if I stop, Sylus. If I try to defect now. They'll come for me.” His breathing was uneven the more stressed he got, “They'll come for me, and you, and everyone else around me, and make SURE there is nothing. Left.”

That silenced Sylus, his blood running cold hearing Caleb say it.

For a long moment, neither spoke. The only sound was barely audible hum of the hologram, and Caleb’s uneven breathing. Sylus’ expression softened slightly; his anger wasn’t gone, but it shifted into something else a little more miserable.

He reached out again, slower this time, fingers brushing Caleb’s shoulder. Trying to approach with affection. “You don’t have to keep giving them pieces of yourself. You don't have to prove you’re still theirs...” He furrowed his brow. He wanted him, to prove he was his.

Caleb didn’t look at him. His hand hovered over the console, the next report still unfinished. His words quivered and he jerked his shoulder away from Sylus' touch.

“All it means to serve the Fleet is proving your loyalty over and over. Quit trying to convince me I have a choice in the matter and listen to me. Sylus.”

Sylus’s voice was quiet but steady. “You always have a choice..." He muttered his heart throbbing. It wasn't the first argument they've had, but it hit him heavier.

The comfort of their morning, the warmth of him as Calebs arms embraced him in their cozy morning, the pleasant afterglow completely shattered by the argument. By duty. Sylus couldn't help but feel the resentment uncoil in himself towards the Fleet.

With Caleb he felt as if he could allow his mask to slip, and show him, his real self; that is until the moment Calebs soldiers mask slipped back into place. Suddenly that openness from his side, wasn't welcome anymore by the Colonel.

Sylus' gaze scrutinized him. He really was like a different man when it came to his work. His duty.

“I could give you that choice. I'm not just some small time drug slinger or petty thieves ring.” Sylus said insistently. He felt like he was pleading with him. There was a certain underlying sense of desperation in him.

Caleb turned to him and his words spilled out harshly with his frustration.
"What do you expect me to do Sylus? just drop my whole life? My whole entire career and come join you in the great Onychinus crime syndicate? You think I don't hear how some of the staff have talked in whispers? They don't want the fleet here and I'm 'the Fleet' in their eyes. What you think I just... live happily ever after with an eye over my shoulder to make sure no bullets hit one of us in the back? Be your 'oh two' instead of hers as one more addition to your fucking collection of EVER rejects?"

Why didn't Sylus get it?

Why didn't he understand the power that The Fleet held?

The reach the Fleet actually had?

He realized Sylus was still just a Civilian, despite his position as essentially royalty in the N109 zone. So maybe he just didn't get it.
Denying the fleet, wasn't safe.
He said far more than he meant to say, his words held his anger, and frustration.

Sylus went still. The words hit harder than Caleb probably meant for them to. But they landed all the same.

Clean, cold, and final.

Just like a Strict Colonel.

For a moment, he only stared at him. His eyes turning glassy. The edges of his face started to feel warm but in an unpleasant way. He shifted slightly, averting his eyes, the faintest movement betraying the effort it took not to react. There was a strange tightness in his chest, as though something inside him had quietly cracked.

“...Right.” Sylus said at last, voice a touch small. His tone wasn’t sharp anymore. It was quiet, and level, and emptied of warmth.

He stepped back a pace, just enough to give Caleb more space. Though his emotions in him ached to close the distance and seek his arms for solace. It was irrational, since he was also the one that made him feel this way. His hand fell to his side, curling once into a fist. He forced his body to stay still, but his brow furrowed with upset.

“I suppose, I should have expected something like that.” Sylus murmured, eyes lowered to the console’s glow instead of Caleb.
“Since you're the man they made, they'll never lose your loyalty. The part that makes you theirs...But is Onychinus... Has it been so horrible for you this last month? To be here with me?” He asked in that small tone.

Caleb turned slightly toward him, guilt flickering through his eyes, as he saw the subtle hurt expression in Sylus' features, and in his words; but Sylus didn’t look up.

Sylus drew a slow lightly shivering breath and straightened his posture. The practiced calm of a man putting his armor back on. When he finally met Caleb’s eyes again, it was with that familiar, guarded composure. The one he wore before the walls had come down.

“Well,” he said softly, “Then I suppose we both have work to do. I'll see you in training later.”

“Sy- Wait-” Caleb tried to get him to stop, standing quickly from his chair.

“I'm so-” but the door shut a little harder than necessary, and he was gone. “-rry...” his attempted apology reaching only the quiet office.
The faintest trace of the scent of Sylus' cologne in the air, where he stood. The warmth of his presence already fading from the room.

Caleb sat back down in the silence, the glow of the hologram painting his face in pale light. He moved the hologram aside put his head in his hands and elbows on the desk, pushing his hair back with both hands. Regret rampaged through him.

“Fuck.”