Chapter Text
Pomni had woken up about an hour and half ago.
Since the moment she gained consciousness there were a lot of visitors. A doctor, officers, and even a lawyer had come to her room.
Once Pomni woke up, a nurse had gone to get the doctor. A kind woman had rushed back in with the nurse and helped take Pomni off a ventilator.
Pomni felt like she was choking and her throat was burning as the breathing tube came out.
After pulling out the equipment from Pomni’s throat the doctor started looking her over while speaking gently to her.
“Hi Miss, my name is Doctor Winger. I am going to do a couple of tests to see how you are doing. If you can understand what I am saying, can you nod your head or say yes?”
Pomni’s throat was so dry and raw but she croaked out an affirmative reply. She felt like shit.
“Good job Miss,” The doctor shined a light in her eyes as a nearby nurse took notes. “When you were brought in we weren’t able to find any identification on you. Could you tell me your name?”
Pomni’s body froze and Doctor Winger started to use a cold stethoscope on her back. Doctor Winger misunderstood the body language and quickly said, “You are waking up from what we suspect is a drug induced coma so some temporary memory loss is not abnormal. If it comes to mind then just let someone know.”
The doctor was correct, Pomni didn’t remember her real name, but she did remember her Circus name. And her body had frozen because bright, colorful, anguish filled memories came back to her.
Pomni had been trapped in a digital hellscape. And she thought she was never getting out.
But the current situation was too real for the Digital Circus and that meant she did get out. Somehow.
The disinfectant smell and fluorescent lights were too overbearing to be a digital sensation. Plus her body no longer felt awkward and impossible.
Caine had given her such a strange jester body in the circus.
Oh God, Caine?! Pomni thought, Did he get caught somehow? Can AI be caught?
Doctor Winger continued her physical examinations and concluded that Pomni’s lungs were functioning, her limbs were reacting to stimuli, and she still had some cognitive function.
Pomni could tell time on a clock, do simple math, and list the months of the year which felt like a small win.
Doctor Winger said that those were all really good signs and finally sat down to start to explain her medical situation to Pomni.
Doctor Winger maintained eye contact and a straight posture as she said. “You were brought to the hospital a few days ago, and you were in a coma of sorts. I have not been told the details of how you got into that coma or the situation you were in before coming to the hospital. There will probably be some officers that will come in and talk to you more about that.”
Pomni found that the Doctor’s matter-of-fact tone was oddly soothing when receiving such overwhelming news.
“What I can tell you is that this coma you have been through was difficult on your body.
When you first came in we did a panel of tests, including a blood test, imaging, and a physical. What we found is that some combination of sedatives was in your blood stream and you had an infection. Even though we couldn’t identify the exact cocktail of drugs, we were able to treat the symptoms. We got you rehydrated with an IV, took some work off of your lungs with a ventilator, and monitored you for any seizures.
From the imaging we could see that there was no permanent or major damage to your organs and brain. We also found that you have pneumonia, which explains the infection, and we started treatment for you while you were unconscious and you are improving. In fact, today might be your last dose of medicine for pneumonia.
The physical showed that your muscles hadn’t been used in a while but otherwise you were healthy.
I am concerned about your muscles' mobility and strength, and I want to recommend some physical rehabilitation. Making sure your strength returns and preventing any permanent muscle damage should be a top priority.”
Unfortunately that made a lot of sense to Pomni, sitting up for her examination had left her trembling from the effort and her chest felt tight.
“Also, I would like to have you do a psychology evaluation.” There was care in the doctor’s warm brown eyes as she said this. “After any trauma you could experience symptoms like anxiety, continued memory loss, and insomnia. If those symptoms are left untreated they can really impede your path to recovery.”
The doctor paused and gave Pomni a long moment for any type of reaction, maybe to let her ask questions.
Pomni felt like all she could do was blink at the doctor, it was like her spongy brain was trying to soak up wet cement. Her brain was so slow to process this information. What should she even say to the doctor?
Graciously Doctor Winger continued on without pressuring Pomni, “For now all you need to do is rest. In fact, someone won’t be here to discuss treatment details with you until the evening and it is currently 6 a.m.”
Pomni glanced at the hands on the wall clock again, to confirm the time. She could also see morning light starting to shine from the far wall window. Seeing sunshine again felt like a small miracle and it distracted her momentarily.
When’s the last time she had been in the sun?
Interrupting her thoughts, Doctor Winger made sure to let Pomni know that a nurse would be checking in on her and performing a couple more tests throughout the day to monitor her condition.
Pomni pushed her weak throat to thank Doctor Winger as she made to leave the room with the nurse close behind.
When the door had clicked close, Pomni collapsed even deeper into the hospital bed. Rather than process her current situation, Pomni took in the deepest breath her lungs could handle.
She savored her bodily sensations from the simplest move. The cool air rushing down her throat followed by the pressure pushing her ribs out. Her shoulders dropped slightly as breath left her body again.
Thank God she got out of the digital prison, Pomni was flooded with familiar and comforting sensations. The weight of her legs, the thrumming in her veins, filled her with such joy. Tears started to build at the edge of her eyes in response.
These sensations had been cut off from her for so long, and now she couldn’t get enough of them.
It felt so good to be real again.
Her next visitors, the officers, interrupted her subtle revelry as they walked in. A stout man turned to her with sparkling eyes.
“Morning Miss,” The lilt of his voice reached her ears from across the room. If he saw the tears in her eyes, he kept any reaction well hidden. “We are county officers, you could probably tell from our uniforms, and we wanted to talk with you for a little bit.”
Pomni felt so tired, and was taking her time to formulate a response but the officer didn’t wait for a reply. The man just kept on talking to her as if a reply didn’t matter.
“Three days ago the County’s Sheriff Office received a call about trespassers at an abandoned office building. Apparently it was a very creepy place but you were lucky because the brave responding officers checked every floor of that building.
In the basement, you were found unconscious along with five other victims. Unfortunately, we couldn’t identify anyone in your sleeping-beauty group initially. Don’t worry though, our boys are checking reports on missing persons as we speak.”
Did he think that was some above and beyond effort to be congratulated for?
This conversation felt so different from the one with the doctor. At least the doctor gave her important and relevant information. The officer wasn’t even waiting for her questions or giving her much context to what he was talking about.
The officer shifted on his feet and pulled a slight smirk as he continued.
“In fact, we have identified one of your pals so far. We hope everyone will be identified and reunited with their loved ones soon.”
The second officer piped up looking much more serious, “Is there anything you can tell us about your identity? It would really help our efforts.”
Pomni paused, she still had no recollection of her actual name but other memories came up. Her family came to mind and she knew that she worked somewhere. It was just that the specifics kept evading her. What were Mom and Dad’s names? Where had she worked? Pomni shook her head gingerly trying to not get frustrated with her own brain, “I have some memory loss from the coma according to the doctor.”
Her statement came out hoarse and scratchy but neither cop questioned her further.
Cheekily the first officer said, “Well hopefully you have a memory win sometime soon.” Pomni glanced at the partner, thoroughly annoyed, to see if they would give a pity laugh. The room was silent for another beat.
The first officer continued on unbothered, “We are also currently investigating how you ended up there. You wouldn’t happen to remember anything right before your coma, would ya?”
Memories of abandoned buildings and a gaming headset danced through her mind. Pomni held her tongue for a moment. The officer had mentioned trespassers and she had been illegally exploring the office building right before entering the Digital Circus.
“I am having trouble remembering anything from that time.” The lie slipped from her mouth with just an ounce of regret. But how could she trust these officers to not punish her?
Pomni could always ‘regain’ some memories in the near future, once she knew what kind of trouble awaited her. And hopefully she also regained her actual memories, so she could see her family again and continue with her life.
After a discussion with the officers, where they mostly just told her to contact them with any information as she regains her memories and how they would continue investigating, her visitors left the room.
They hadn’t even given her any information on a perpetrator or what to do from here.
Pomni glanced at the wall clock trying to figure out the time. Exhaustion sat heavy in her body, refusing to let her mentally process the time or any of this.
Her brow crinkled in frustration as her own body dragged her back to unconsciousness.
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Pomni kept drifting in and out of heavy sleep over the next four hours. A few times she would wake up startled by her own confusing dreams. Some dreams were about the circus and some dreams were about her life before, all vague and shadowy.
One time a nurse had accidentally woken her up when they loudly knocked over a roller chair in the room.
If Pomni had been in the circus she would have been comically shocked, like her eyes literally popping out of her head, but in reality she just experienced a jolt of adrenaline from the noise.
The nurse was so apologetic but a knock from the door stopped their litany of sorrys. Pomni heard the nurse open the door and say, “Sir, visiting hours will be closed in about a half hour.”
“Thank you miss, I will make sure to be out of here by then.” The second voice was older and very polite. Pomni noticed a dark suit and brief case the man entering the room had but didn’t feel any recognition when looking into his face.
Maybe the officers had found some of her family and this person was someone she should know. Who else could they be?
“Would it be ok if I took a seat by your bed?” The stranger stood still at the door and glanced at the roller chair nearby.
Pomni nodded and quietly waited for him to seat himself. With his briefcase on his right, the man turned towards Pomni with a soft question.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how are you doing ma’am?” He looked into her eyes with what seemed like genuine concern.
Pomni reached for a nearby cup of water before trying to answer. Her throat felt better compared to this morning but it still felt tender to talk.
The stranger was patient as she sipped her drink and turned back to him, “I am the most tired I think I have ever been in my life.” It was the most honest answer she could muster but it didn’t feel like a complete explanation of her mental and physical state.
At least her voice sounded stronger and less raspy.
The man smiled warmly, “I have been told that sleep is very important for healing and recovery, so it is probably a good thing your body craves it. And my apologies for dropping by and preventing you from resting, but I have important things to discuss with you regarding your treatment.”
Pomni remembered Doctor Winger mentioning someone would drop by to discuss treatment details, so this must be a hospital employee. A bit of disappointment bubbled up inside of her, she could really use a familiar face or a loved one right now.
Suddenly, Pomni’s mind jumped to the thought that his man was a hospital representative. Maybe he was here to discuss her hospital bill and demand payment. She couldn’t remember where she worked let alone if she had health insurance.
How long had she been unconscious again? And how expensive was it to treat pneumonia?
As she was about to resign herself to impossible medical debt the stranger opened his briefcase. He pulled out his dark colored business card which read, Stewart Raymond Attorney at Law. On the front in gold lettering it displayed Goswell Estate.
The man introduced himself further by saying, “I work for the Goswell family and I am here because you were found with my client’s daughter. I know that some memory loss has been a common symptom for each victim in this situation, but my client’s daughter mentioned that you might recognize the name Ragatha.”
“Ragatha!” Pomni’s voice filled with concern and surprise and relief. Exhaustion had prevented her from thinking about the others in the Circus, which made her feel oddly guilty.
Remembering back to what the officers told her, Ragatha must have been the only one out of the group to be identified and find her family so far.
Jesus, Pomni thought. Ragatha’s family must have some expansive wealth to afford a family lawyer.
“How is she doing?” Pomni hoped that Stewart had some news of her friend.
“Her condition is stable and she has been awake for just a day longer than you. Of course, you all have been through quite an ordeal so it isn’t appropriate to say that she is doing well.” Stewart seemed a bit cagey towards the end of his statement, giving no details to Ragath’s current state.
What had Ragatha told her family exactly? Did other people know and believe that the Digital Circus had been their prison? Neither the doctor or officers had mentioned anything to make her suspect that they knew the full extent of their experience.
“I am here to talk to you about an offer that the Goswell Family would like to extend to you.” Stewart was all business at this point with his hand clasped in his lap. “Ragatha, as you know her, is going to be sent to a private treatment facility to focus on her mental and physical recovery. Unfortunately, she has refused treatment unless the Goswell family offers the same services to every other victim in this case.”
Pomni’s worried about what kind of mental and physical care Ragatha needed. Were her friends dealing with worse consequences from the Circus?
She also wasn’t surprised that Ragatha was still trying to help everyone, even though this seemed a bit extreme. It felt like Ragatha was extorting her family a bit.
Perceptive to her worry, Stewart said, “We are offering the best care to Ragatha and now you as well. Specifically, we are offering a two month in-patient stay at one of the Goswell homes. It is being turned into a care facility so that everyone can receive physical rehabilitation and mental care while recovering from this incident.
Let me be clear, you don’t have to take this offer and the Goswell family will still cover your hospital bills until your family can be found. If you do take this offer, you are free to leave the Goswell facility at any time. You will also still be in contact with the officers in charge of your case so that any family can find you.”
“Fuck, that is a very generous gesture.” Pomni felt so good being able to swear again and floored by this opportunity. The prickling feeling of anxiety hadn’t gone away once she started thinking about the costs of her treatments.
Stewart leaned a little closer to Pomni, “Young Ms. Goswell was very insistent that the family help each of you as much as possible. So if this offer isn’t acceptable just let me know what we can do to assist your recovery.”
Stewart’s tone seemed slightly more desperate than compassionate, but Pomni was very tired and could have been mistaken. Or at least that is what she told herself.
Pomni just looked at Stewart and asked, “How do rooms and food work in this situation? Would I owe Ragatha’s family anything?”
“You would get your own room and food is taken care of by the professional cooks on site. The meals will be designed to help with recovery. This of course is all covered by the Goswell family and you wouldn’t accrue any debt.” Stewart quickly answered her inquiry.
While the offer was very tempting, it felt too good to be true. Pomni asked, “Have you talked to the others? Has anyone else agreed to this?”
She didn’t necessarily want to follow someone else’s decision, but if no one else took the offer then why would she. Plus she wouldn't be alone with just Ragath’s family to keep her company. Pomni wanted to see her friends again.
Stewart pursed his lips, “Ragatha has already been transferred to this facility. My apologies because your companions' names are confusing, but I believe a young woman named Gangle has also accepted the offer. I talked to Zooble earlier and they have accepted as well, though with a few extra conditions. The older gentleman in your group isn’t quite ready to have visitors yet but I will be extending the offer to him once his condition stabilizes.
If you accept the offer we can transfer you, Gangle, and Zooble all together tomorrow.”
A pang went through Pomni’s heart, being able to see Gangle and Zooble sounded wonderful and it kind of grounded her. The older gentleman Stewart mentioned must have been Kinger, Pomni really hoped he was okay. This situation was doing a number on her and she at least had youth on her side.
Pomni took interest in Zooble’s extra conditions but didn’t press Stewart, instead she asked, “Stewart, did you happen to talk to a guy named Jax?”
Stewart stiffened and he suddenly looked a little annoyed, “Yes I did and Jax is considering the offer.”
Pomni wasn’t surprised that Jax had managed to piss off a polite man like Stewart. She was surprised that he was considering the offer.
Her mind drifted to the most recent memory of the Circus, the adventure where they all got guns. Her heart rate picked up just thinking about her fight with Jax. His denial of any human emotion or connection was infuriating and painful to watch at the time. And it still struck a nerve with her just thinking about it.
But even in her anger towards Jax there was still something else she felt towards him. It wasn’t that she cared about him, honestly he had broken whatever bond was starting to form between them in the Circus.
It was just that Pomni also knew how hard the Digital Circus had been for everyone, including Jax. Frankly she was glad they got out before Jax abstracted, it felt like a very real possibility for him. And from the information she had gathered today, it sounded like abstracted circus characters did not get saved, just their group of six.
She didn’t know if Jax deserved to be shunned for his actions in the Circus.
Pomni also thought about the gun adventure before they had fought. It had been pleasant to be around him when he acted more human. Jax even made her laugh at times. God it was painful to think about.
They had almost been friends.
Her swirl of thoughts on Jax was interrupted by Stewart, “Ma’am, if you are interested in the offer and would like to transfer to the facility tomorrow then I do need an answer before I leave. You can take your time to think about this and we could transfer you another day as well.”
“No need to wait, I really appreciate the offer and would like to accept.” Pomni rushed her words a bit. It felt so lonely in the hospital, only being visited by workers meant to check in on her made it worse. The thought of being all alone when the others were together made her chest hurt.
Stewart looked relieved, “Wonderful, I will take care of everything as far as your transfer goes. Please keep my business card nearby so you can contact me.”
Pomni laughed a little awkwardly, “I don’t have a phone to contact you with but thank you.”
“Oh in that case I will see what we can do to remedy that.” Stewart began to type something out on his phone as he stood up to leave.
Pomni wasn’t going to say no, if Ragatha’s family had this kind of money to throw around then by all means start throwing it her way. Who knows when she would be able to work again.
“Stewart, could I ask you one more favor?”
Stewart turned back briefly, “Yes ma’am?”
“If you see any of the others again will you tell them I am doing OK?” She didn’t know if anyone else cared, but Pomni wanted them to know.
“Of course ma’am. You will be seeing them tomorrow as well, so just rest for now.” Stewart gave her a kind smile as a goodbye and quietly left the room.
Pomni’s thoughts felt very jumbled and she tried to sort through everything even as exhaustion hit her again.
It seemed like the cops barely knew anything, which wouldn’t surprise her, or they weren’t sharing everything they knew with her yet. Pomni felt like they might know more about their strange case then what they told her today.
Physically she felt like her body could recover quickly, or at least she hoped it could. Before the circus she had enjoyed casual swimming and hiking. Hopefully, she can regain her strength in the next two months and maybe go on a camping trip. Some old memories of childhood camping trips came to her mind as did star gazing in the Circus.
This deal with Ragatha’s family felt insanely improbable but also too good to pass up. Pomni hadn’t been working since the Digital Circus and didn’t want to be burdened by financial worry. She wanted to focus on recovery.
Pomni eventually thought about her own mental condition for a second.
She couldn’t lie to herself much longer, she was terrified that this was all a fucking dream. Maybe this was a digital hallucination because she was abstracting. Pomni wanted to fight off the sleep calling to her because what if she woke up back in digital hell? Or never woke up?
Confronting that thought made her eyes water and her shoulders shake. Pomni desperately wanted to get her name back, get her life back, and continue to be real.
She wasn’t a cartoon clown anymore and Pomni cried herself to sleep in relief at the thought.