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"How long have you known the Warrior of Light?" Koana asks his hired archons.
"Five years? Six? It's kind of hard to say for sure when half a decade of multiverse shenanigans thrown in there."
"What?"
Urianger puts a hand on Koana's shoulder. "Fret not on that now. It can be explained another time. Thancred has known Kinmokusei for almost as long as anyone outside her home."
Koana finally asks the question he's had since they all met with his father. "If you know her so well, why didn't you recognize her? You seemed surprised when she was introduced."
The older men look at each other. They do another one of those silent conversations that Koana has never been able to master when he struggles with subtle indications.
"Moku looks quite different," Thancred settles on. "It has been a while since I saw her."
"If you are as close as you claim, do you know aught of her romantic partners?"
"The Warrior hath a girlfriend," Urianger states. Koana's ears drop subconsciously.
"Have mercy, Urianger. There's no need to pause before saying that she also has a boyfriend, and all three seem to be in an open relationship."
"Oh," Koana says. "Is her companion here among her loves?"
"Steph? I'm sure she cares about him a lot, but he solidly falls more between brother and friend. The man is happily monogomous and engaged from what I have heard. Even if he wasn't and that was not their relationship, I doubt Moku would be interested in him that way."
"What is she interested in?"
The two men think for a moment, Urianger tapping his chin. "…Both of her partners seem to be significantly lacking in height. An auri woman and miqo'te man."
"She likes being shown up and challenged. The two she has, they're massive nerds. She waxes poetic at times about how they playfully correct her." Thancred tilts his head. "Actually, you might know them. Mikoto Jinba and T'laqa Tia just got tenured at the Sharlayan Studium."
Koana does know them. Know of them, at least. He's heard talk in the Studium hallways about people who desperately want to get into Professor Jinba's classes due to her genius in the field (and supposed beauty). T'laqa was known to be charismatic, one of the most down to etheirys advisors the school had, having been humbled by his allergies to everything under the sun (in addition to said sun).
They're both experts in Aetherology. What could Koana possibly have to teach her, with such a small base of Sharlayan knowledge and the machinistry that she already knows so well?
"Do you- do you think there's a chance she'd ever be interested in me?"
Thancred and Urianger both give the Promise a confused glance.
"…Art thou jesting?"
"What he said. Have you seriously not heard the way she talks to you?"
Koana blushes. He isn't entirely oblivious. Just that morning, Moku had suggestively said that she heard banana leaves were great for wrapping meat, that he should taste her special sauce, and he needs to put his bun in her oven. He just…
"I thought she was just playing around."
"Toying with her food, more like." Thancred sighs. "It's completely fine if you don't like it. Say the word, and I'll get her to stop, no hard feelings."
Koana blushes harder. Urianger smiles at him.
"In the case thou does wish for this game to continue, it twould be best if you bite back."
"How? She seems… quite difficult to shake."
"Have you tried?" When Koana doesn't respond, Thancred continues. "That's what I thought. Trust me, you will blow her away the first time you try anything. It'll catch her off guard."
"Do you have any ideas?"
***
The blond man that seems to accompany Moku everywhere like an emotional support animal is goofing around with her when Koana returns. She laughs with her whole body, holding her stomach as she throws her head back, hair bobbing and long canines on full display. Steph nudges her shoulder in his direction and meets Koana's eyes with a smile.
"Oh! Koana!" Moku waves with a vicious grin. "You're back! Did you need someone to rub your meat?"
Koana freezes with his freshly acquired meat for the Feat in hand. Thancred nudges him forwards, like a mama bird kicking her baby from the nest.
Steph tilts his head in an overdone impression of thought. "Are we sure it must be rubbed? Perhaps it is better to slather that meat in a sauce made from the ingredients."
"Or we can have it raw," Moku replies looking right at Koana, her eyes glimmering. The Promise swallows.
He steps forwards with feigned confidence. Moku's own starts to dim, curiousity taking its place as her pupils widen.
"The rub isn't as important as how we cook it." Koana adjusts his glasses. "Do you think this meal is supposed to be soft and gooey on the inside? Maybe the consumer would be more likely to salivate if it was a little wet."
There's a moment of silence. Koana could swear the entire world froze. He's half a second from turning tail and running when Moku pounces forwards, a foot away from him. "Do you think we should make some dessert?"
Koana straightens his spine. "Well first, we simply must finish the Feat of Repast. Perhaps after, if there's time, you can taste test some of the best Turali recipies."
Alisaie calls to the Warrior, snapping her ardent attention that direction, and Koana has to sigh in the reprieve. Before turning to follow her young friend, Moku winks at Koana. "I heard you're multilingual. I'd love for you to display some of your mastery another tongue."