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Chapter Text

The foxes felt victorious after their first win of the season, many thought that last year may have been a fluke. Nobody thought the foxes would win championship or the matches against USC and the Ravens…. And nobody thought they could manage it two years in a row. However that didn’t deter any of the foxes, they had 5 new freshmen as subs, Riko was dead, the ravens lost all 3 of their “perfect court” as well as slowly falling apart as a team, and the foxes were playing better then they ever had, crushing their first game with a 10-5 win. USC would be the biggest opponent later down the road, the thought of Jean Moreau and Jermey Knox playing together on top of the stellar team the Trojans were, was a bit terrifying, but nothing the foxes wouldn’t welcome.

The team was changing up in the locker room and discussing post game plans currently, while Aaron half listened and half tuned them out.

“How do you feel Josten? First game as vice captain, first win of the season, and seeing your team come together? Well… most of them, that is.” Dan said shooting a pointed look towards the new freshmen Jack, who was the only one of the foxes that didn’t practice any team spirit.

Neil let out an amused exhale, “I’m proud of us, it was a good game… but I can’t take any credit for tonight, that was all you Dan.”

“Nope none of that, you may still be learning how to delegate this team, but you’ve been helping me lead them since the day you showed up,” Dan proudly stated.

Aaron turned towards Neil but knew he wouldn’t reply, he just sent her a soft smile full of gratitude and slung his bag over his shoulder and walked over to wait next to Andrew. Aaron watched as some of the tension in Andrew’s spine relaxed at Neil’s approach, and he allowed himself to slightly lean into Neil’s side. The movement was casual, just two teammates waiting to anybody else…. But to Andrew that was huge, him initiating physical touch… and in front of everybody… Aaron felt proud of his twin…. Despite his awful taste in men.

The rest of the team chattered away about whether they should celebrate in the basement of fox tower with the booze they’ve scored, or go out to Columbia and enjoy the club. Aaron didn’t really care where they went or what they did, he was satisfied with his performance and had plans to stay over at Katelyn’s tonight. He was about to yank on his shirt when the sight of an old scar caught his eye. It wasn’t a noticeable thing compared to any of Neil, Matt, or Andrew’s. Most of the foxes were littered with marks of their past, Aaron was no different, he just didn’t vocalize where they came from. Of course Andrew had some ideas about a couple, but even he didn’t know the full extent of what Aaron went through… or really even half of it…

When Andrew came to live with Aaron he knew his twin had been through unimaginable horrors, while Andrew would never confess to anything happening to him and the reality of some of the events Andrew had endured, didn’t come to light until last Thanksgiving at Luther’s, Aaron still new from the first moment he saw Andrew that he had a bad life. Yet he still promised to protect Aaron. Aaron vowed in that moment to never give Andrew any hint of the pain he had also endured, if his twin could be so resilient and strong, then so could Aaron. He would let Andrew believe that his addiction and Tildas heavy hand were the worst of it, and allow Andrew to help protect him from that, he would bury everything else deep down to prevent it ever from hurting Andrew. Aaron he wasn’t stupid… he was as observant as his mirror self, and he knew Andrew felt things… just differently then most… he also knew Andrew cared for Aaron; nobody had ever really cared for Aaron, except his cousin Nicky… who was currently in Germany at that time, and Aaron had also kept the worst his his trauma from Nicky as well, Aaron would be damned if he gave either of them a reason to feel pity or hurt on Aaron’s behalf. Both men had their own issues and didn’t need Aaron’s burdening them.

So Aaron had done what he did best, built a wall between Nicky and between Andrew. A wall to prevent the other from ever seeing the hurt and pain that dwelled inside of him. The hideous mess that made up Aaron Minyard. He presented a carefree mask while internally he ached desperately to have a real relationship with his “brother, cousin, friends..” but this was the only way to make sure the other men only had to carry their own hardships, not pile on his as well. So the wall was built and reinforced anytime Andrew or Nicky attempted to wear it down, even a smidge.

Aaron’s fingers grazed gently over the scar on his upper bicep, it was a pale short line that resembled Matt’s track marks, but where Matt had dozens that clearly showed his battle with addiction, Aaron’s were seldom and spread out so they were mistaken as old knicks and cuts. Aaron’s drug of choice was pills, but he was no stranger to having a needle shoved in his arm… however those instances were not by choice, they were forced on him… flashes of large hands holding him down, his cheek smashed against the ground while his face was bruising under the pressure of a back of a knee, hands pinned behind his back at an unnatural angle, how breathe fanned across his neck, while a needle was shoved into his arm. He fought back, he had always faught back however useless it may have been. He would be damned if he allowed this to happen, he would thrash, kick, bite, scratch, claw, anything… Andrew may have seen him submit to Tilda’s abuse, deeming him a coward. But the truth was anything Tilda did was minor compared to what the others had done, so he simply did not have anything left in him to protest his mother. He remembered the laughter from the man and the sick feeling in his stomach as the drugs started taking their effect, he remembered the video camera set up across the room… he remembered too much… when suddenly a hand on his shoulder snapped him out of the memory.

“Hey Aaron, you good?” It was Nicky who was now staring at him intensely with a concerned look.

Aaron tried to remain calm, like he didn’t just relive that ugly memory, and cleared his throat, “uhh.. yeah. Why?”

Nicky let out a forced laugh and ruffled his hair a bit, “well you didn’t vote? you’re the tie breaker, Eden’s or fox tower? What will the location of choosing for our drunken asses be tonight? I personally think Eden’s because damn… after this win I think I need to celebrate with more than just alcohol. And the only gay choices here are taken or related to me so..” Andrew cut him off harshly with “We’re leaving, pick.”

Aaron cut him a glare but saw mild concern and interest in his brothers eyes, had Aaron been zoned out for long? Andrew picked up on Aaron’s frequent spacing out, but never commented on it. He would just make sure to keep Aaron in his sight for the next hour or so, and Aaron would offer no explanation. Andrew could think whatever the hell he wanted.

“Eden’s,” Aaron said. And that was that. He yanked on his top, grabbed his bag and followed the rest out of the locker room, out of the court, and into the dimly lit parking lot.

The lingering feeling of that awful memory was still fucking with Aaron’s mind, but he forced one foot in front of the other. Kevin, Andrew and Neil were in front, Neil and Andrew’s knuckles grazing each others with every swing of their arm. They were so stupid, just fucking hold hands, Aaron thought. Nicky walked next to Aaron rambling about the game, Erik, tonight, and whatever else he could think of. Aaron let the words go in one ear and out the other. The upperclassmen were farther up already loading into the cars and the freshmen tailed them all, they clearly were NOT invited out.

Aaron’s pace faltered when Nicky slammed to a stop and mumbled “Jesus Fuck, Aaron!”

This immediately got Andrew’s attention as he whipped his head back, Neil and Kevin stopping and turning as well.

Aaron looked at Nicky annoyed waiting for some sort of explanation but Nicky’s widened eyes were staring across the parking lot. “Jesus, isn’t that one of Tilda’s old boyfriends?… the fuck is his name? James.. Jackson…” Nicky asked still naming off any J names he could think of. Aaron’s heart stopped as he turned in the direction Nicky was looking and scanned for the man.

No. No. No. Nicky was mistaken there was NO way he was here. All the way in South Carolina?? No, Nicky was definitely wrong.. he wouldn’t be here… he couldn’t be… there was no way Jam…

“JAMESON!” Nicky declared snapping his fingers in triumph. “That’s his name! Wait why the hell is he here?”

Aaron’s eyes connected with the man across the lot. He was leaning against a car, arms folded across his chest, feet crossed at the ankle, and letting a cigar hang from his mouth. Aaron gagged on the phantom smell of Tabacco and rum, he knew too well. Jameson was tall, taller than he remembered… maybe 6’4? And he was well built, full of muscle… but it was his hands Aaron could look away from… the hands that… Aaron was about to be sick, no.. no.. he couldn’t be here. Jameson Patrick couldn’t be here.. but he was here. And he was walking towards Aaron now.

Chapter Text

Aaron’s first instinct was to run… run away, run for help, run and hide… run and get far away from here.. but Aaron couldn’t run from his past. Running wouldn’t do anything but alert the other foxes that Aaron was weak.. a coward… and expose parts of his past that he never planned on sharing. No. He needed to stay and keep the mask he perfected in place, he needed Andrew and Nicky to not suspect a single thing was wrong. He needed to do what he did best, pretend.

With each step Jameson took towards him he felt his panic rising, he swallowed and choked down the bile rising up his throat and stuffed his hands deep in his pockets so nobody would see the slight tremble in them. By now everybody had stopped and was watching the scene unfold, the upperclassmen stood with the car doors open, leaning out. Kevin and Neil stood watching the man approach, while Nicky and Andrews gaze were on Aaron, he assumed trying to read his reaction. Aaron hoped his rapidly beating heart wouldn’t betray him and that he looked as unbothered as ever on the outside.

Jameson kept his stare pinned on Aaron as he approached them, cigar hanging from his fingers, a cocky smirk displayed across his face, and he took in the sight of Aaron. His eyes roaming slowly up and down before settling on his eyes. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Andrew, because he casually stepped in front of Aaron and said “who the fuck are you?”

Jamesons smirk faltered for a moment when he took Andrew in. Tilda and him had been together on and off for a couple years when Aaron was young, the man didn’t know about Andrew back then, but considering he was here at Palmetto State, he had likely found out about Andrew’s existence in the news. But hearing about him and physically seeing the carbon copy of Aaron seemed to shake him a bit. However he recovered quickly plastering the smug look back on and turned his look back to Aaron. He took a long drag of his cigar before dropping it and crushing it beneath his boots. “Hey Champ.”

Aaron’s blood ran cold. Champ.. the last time he heard Jamesons nickname for him was years ago… Tilda and him had an especially bad fight that night, Tilda ended up beaten to hell, while Aaron listened through the walls of his locked room. Tilda had a habit of keeping his door bolted from the outside when she had men over, she didn’t like Aaron interfering with her plans, and by interfering he meant bothering her while she was high by asking for food, water, or any basic necessities. He hadn’t been allowed out of the room all day, the blankets in the corner were full of urine and needed to be washed desperately and he was running low on the expired box of cheez-it’s that he had been rationing all day. Shortly after Aaron heard his door unlock and he rushed to hide under his covers. The sound of heavy footsteps making their way to his bed made Aaron heave, but he swallowed his vomit knowing that if he puked he would be forced to clean it anyway, usually in sick ways like with his hands or once with his own mouth. Aaron knew faking sleep wouldn’t deter him, so he only braced himself for the inevitable by closing his eyes and counting. It was usually over by the time Aaron would get to 500. That night however Aaron got to almost 1,000, Jameson had told him that he was leaving “Aaron’s whore of a mother” but wanted to say goodbye to Aaron in his “special way.” He took his time with Aaron that night.

He had chosen that nickname because he said “Aaron was the best he ever had.” A champion for a game he should’ve never been playing… Aaron was only 4 when it started, and 9 when it ended. The man in front of him now wasn’t the last man to have hurt him, and he probably wasn’t the first either.

“I said who. The. Fuck. Are. You.” Andrew said with a bored voice, but shoulders full of tension. He knew something was off. Aaron needed to deflect now before he gave too much away. He didn’t want Andrew to suspect anything, he didn’t want to give any more of his past away.

Aaron took a steadying breath and by some miracle he kept his voice steady, “Hey.” It was short and simple. A response in typical Aaron fashion.

“I’m almost offended, I came all the way out here and expected a warmer welcome from my stepson,” Jameson drawled, placing a hand over his chest feigning heartbreak. This got Andrew and Nicky’s attention and they both whipped their stares between both Aaron and Jameson. “Uhhhh. Stepson? Wait, What? When the hell did Tilda get married” Nicky asked.

Jameson chuckled and the sound made Aaron’s skin crawl. “My apologies I didn’t even introduce myself, you must be Andrew.” He extended his hand out to offer a handshake. Aaron knew Andrew would never accept it in a million years but the thought of those hands touching Andrew’s… the hands that had… no.. he wouldn’t allow it… he wouldn’t allow them to be anywhere near his brother. He would NOT allow it. After last thanksgiving with Drake, after everything his brother had been through, he wouldn’t let Jameson anywhere near him, or Nicky for that matter. Hell he wouldn’t even let Jameson near Neil. He needed to get Jameson away from them all right now, he didn’t care about what that may mean for himself. Andrew and Nicky being safe meant more than anything Jameson would do to him… there wasn’t much that anybody could do to Aaron that hadn’t been done multiple times before anyway.

“It’s… been a long time.. um, coffee?” Aaron asked, this time his voice did hitch slightly and he cursed himself for it. Jameson seemed pleased by his subtle way of getting them alone and nodded in agreement while gesturing to his car. Before Aaron could even take a step Andrew grabbed his wrist and said “No.”

It was at that very moment that everything went to hell.

Chapter Text

It was the kind of mistake anyone could make, one so small, so ordinary, that most wouldn’t think twice about it. But Jameson had always weaponized touch.

Memories flickered through Aaron’s head like a cruel montage. The obvious ones came first: Jameson’s bruising grip on his thighs under the dinner table when he spoke out of turn, the yank of Tilda’s arm when she lingered too long in another man’s gaze, the fingers digging into Aaron’s cheeks until his jaw ached if he dared look away.

Then came the subtler gestures, the ones people dismissed as affectionate… a palm grazing the small of his back, a hand lingering to long on his side, a cupped cheek paired with a falsely tender compliment, a slight tug on his wrist to redirect his attention. To anybody else, these touches were nothing more than endearing signs of a “father’s” affection. But Aaron knew better. Each was a silent reminder of ownership, a promise whispered in plain sight: You belong to me. I can do whatever I want, wherever I want, and no one will stop me.

That was why Jameson’s latest mistake was fatal. He assumed Aaron’s twin was the same boy he’d broken. While they were physical mirrors of each other, the twins functioned in completely different ways.

The hand Jameson laid on Andrew’s shoulder was meant to ease tension, to disarm Andrew with false warmth. But it was met not with submission but instead violence. Andrew didn’t hesitate. The moment Jameson’s hand touched him as he began to speak “Rela—” he was slammed to the ground. A knife flashed, steady and precise, pressed against his throat before anyone could react.

Chaos ignited. Drunk fans and students were quickly drawn in by the frenzy caused by the foxes in reaction to the sudden burst of violence, but as the rowdy crowd grew quickly The Foxes moved instinctively, from trying to deter Andrew to protecting him. Neil and Nicky throwing themselves between Andrew and the crowd, as a barrier and the upperclassmen trying to push drunk strangers back, voices rising into shouts. To the crowd, it probably looked like an unprovoked act of savagery. Andrew who was known for violence holding a stranger at knifepoint. But Aaron saw only one thing.

Jameson’s hand.

Pinned beneath Andrew, gasping like a fish after getting the wind knocked out of him, Jameson wasn’t fighting back. His fingers weren’t clawing or striking. They were wrapped tight around Andrew’s wrist, the one holding the blade. Not to disarm, but to cling.

Aaron couldn’t breathe. That hand. That same hand that had destroyed him, the hand that had done unspeakable cruelties against him… was now gripping his brother. The brother who had vowed to protect him. The brother who had killed for him. The brother who shared some of the same scars.

He couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t let that hand touch Andrew a second longer.

“STOP!” Aaron screamed, but his voice was drowned by the chaos. He shoved forward, desperate, until someone staggered into him. Reflex took over. He spun and swung, his fist cracking against the stranger’s jaw.

The fight was instant, messy. Punches, kicks, blood. Aaron went down hard, boots slamming into his ribs, fists hammering his skull. He barely felt any of it, his body moved and continued fighting back for one reason only. to give Andrew no choice but to come to his aid. He knew the minute Andrew saw Aaron was down he would be there, and he was right.

Moments after Andrews unyielding strength yanked Aaron to his feet a irens cut through the madness. Security swarmed, the crowd scattered, and the Foxes fled. The last thing any of them needed tonight was to end up in the papers or behind bars. In the Maserati’s backseat, bloodied and bruised, Aaron could feel Andrew’s fury vibrating through his death grip on the steering wheel.

The car was full of voices. Kevin demanding answers to “what the fuck just happened”, Nicky trying to lighten the mood by cracking jokes and inquiring about their clubbing plans, Neil insisting they deserved to celebrate the fox win from tonight and how he didn’t care about whatever shit Aaron had going on, but all Aaron heard was Andrew’s silence. When his brother finally spoke his name, it wasn’t a question. It was a command. Cold, demanding truth. All Andrew said was “Aaron.” And the entire car went deadly silent. Tension filled the air and Aaron knew what he wanted… an explanation for who that man was and why he was there, an explanation for why he said he was Aaron’s stepfather, an explanation for the reaction Aaron had. While he had attempted a calm bored reaction, he wasn’t stupid enough to think Andrew believed it.

Aaron gave him nothing. Instead, he asked to be dropped at Katelyn’s. To which Andrew replied with “twenty minutes ago Eden’s was your idea. We’re going, all of us.”

Aaron knew his brother, and his brother knew him. Andrew knew Aaron had no intention of actually seeing Katelyn now, it was just a way to escape giving an explanation. But Aaron knew the words he needed to get what he wanted. “No, Andrew. I’m saying no.”

Minutes later, Aaron stumbled out of the Maserati and before he could close the door Andrew sped off, tired peeling on the pavement. The second the car was out of view and Aaron was alone in the parking lot, he collapsed behind a truck and vomited until his stomach was empty. He curled in on himself laying on his side on the freezing pavement, sobbing uncontrollably until his throat burned, Aaron realized he had no strength left to bury the memories. Tonight had ripped them open, raw and bleeding. He let the images play repeatedly in his mind, while he continued to cry and heave.

Hours later, he stumbled back to the dorm, aching and hollow. He longed for a shower and sleep. Nicky was in Columbia by now and Matt he supposed was with Dan since nobody was there, he made his way to the bedroom to grab pajamas to bring to the shower, but when he opened the bedroom door, his heart stopped completely.

On his bed sat a single cigar. Beneath it, a Polaroid.

Aaron’s hands shook as he lifted it, then dropped it instantly, bile rising once again in his throat and his breathes became panicked and shallow.

The photo showed his childhood bedroom. A six-year-old Aaron lay naked in bed, a used needle discarded beside him, and an all too familiar hand clamped over his mouth. His own terrified eyes stared up into the camera lens, frozen forever in horror. Little Aaron knew what was about to happen, and older Aaron remembered exactly how it felt in that moment.

Aaron crumpled to the floor, his knees buckling beneath him, the weight of the past pressing him into the dark. He let it take him under.

Chapter Text

Aaron didn’t remember falling asleep on the floor. One minute, the Polaroid was burning a hole in his hand, while flashes of painful memories played on a loop. The next he was jerking awake to the sound of voices in the hall. His chest heaved like he’d been drowning, he was drenched in sweat and his shirt was clinging to his skin, despite the room being freezing.

The cigar was gone.
So was the Polaroid.

For one terrifying moment, Aaron wondered if he’d hallucinated it all. He has been in a panic, maybe his fucked up brain was playing tricks on him. But the smell lingered… cheap tobacco and rum, that nauseating combination he would never mistake or forget. His stomach turned. Jameson had been here. He’d been inside their dorm.

Aaron shoved himself upright and scrubbed his hands over his face. His phone buzzed and he checked it, it was already 1:15pm and there was a single text message from an unknown number. Aaron swallowed hard before opening it.

“This brings back memories, Champ.” Attached was a photo of Aaron curled up sleeping on the dorm floor.

It wasn’t a dream or a hallucination. It was real. He had been here… he had been in the same position unconsciously at Jamesons mercy, once again… he was going to be sick again… He felt dirty, every inch of him and the dorm felt as if it was covered in a contagious filth, he needed to disinfect every thing right now before anybody else stepped foot in the dorm. He didn’t have time to think about it, he didn’t have time to process what had happened, Nicky would be back soon and he needed to scrub every inch of this dorm before the filth could infect Nicky or Andrew. Aaron shoved the panic and pain deep down, he couldn’t think about it. If he thought too hard, he’d lose it completely. Andrew couldn’t know. Nicky couldn’t know. Nobody could know. This was Aaron’s burden, Aaron’s past catching up to him, Aaron’s responsibility to handle, he wouldn’t fail those around him.

He forced himself through the motions first a scolding shower where he vigorously scrubbed himself raw, clean clothes dispensing the previous nights into the trash, taking bleach and disinfectant to everything he could manage to clean inside the dorm, then the following day classes, practice, his lunch date with Katelyn, and he did everything to avoid the others. Aside from practice which he showed up last minute too and left without fully changing out to avoid confrontation, he had steered clear of his group. The next few days continued like this, Aaron played the part well, but it was all static in his ears. He jumped at every sound. Every stranger’s laugh in the hallway felt like it was aimed at him. By the time nights came, his chest was buzzing with panic that had nowhere to go but be buried deep down inside of him. He was surprised that Andrew didn’t corner him and demand awnsers, but he supposed after telling his brother “no” Andrew was keeping his distance. After a couple days there had been no new texts, and Aaron finally spent more than a passing glance with the team after another fox win.

Then he found the box..

It was sitting outside their dorm door, plain cardboard, no return label. He should’ve left it alone. He should’ve walked away. But his hands were already tearing it open, nails biting into the tape. He knew who it was from.

Inside there was a bottle of Captain Morgan rum. Tilda’s favorite, and taped to the glass, in sloppy handwriting: “For my Champ. Congratulations on the big win.”

Aaron’s stomach lurched. He dropped the box like it had burned him, the bottle clattering and rolling across the floor. His breath came in fast and sharp quick intakes, his vision tunneling with black spots present. He wanted…. God, he needed…. What the hell did he need? To drink? To scream? Run? Hide? NO… Aaron new what he needed to handle this. Pills. Aaron needed to take as many pills as he could until he couldn’t remember. Until none of this meant anything to him anymore, he needed that comforting feeling of all the worry and pain floating away even for only a brief time. He needed pills, and he needed them now. His body screamed for it, his skin crawling, heart racing, brain clawing at the memory of pills, syringes, powder, anything to make this stop. Stop. STOP.

He charged through the door and staggered into the bathroom, gripping the sink so hard his knuckles blanched. His reflection didn’t stare back at him, a stranger did.

“You can’t,” he hissed at himself. “You fucking can’t. Don’t you dare—” Aaron began laughing at his reflection. He was loosing it, he was fucking talking to himself like a psychopath. Funny how he was now the more mentally unstable twin, this made him laugh even harder. The sight of a smile on his lips angered him but he couldn’t stop laughing, he slammed his fist into his temple, and then he did it again… and again… and again… the laughter didn’t stop, the crazed stare in the mirror didn’t falter, the blows only got more intense. Aaron didn’t know if he was trying to stop the thoughts of pills, Jameson, Tilda, or himself. He just needed everything to fucking STOP.

STOP. Hit. STOP. Laugh. STOP. Glass shuddering as a fist slammed into it. STOP. Laugh. STOP. Blood oozing out his palm and he squeezed a broken shard. STOP laugh. STOP. His arm slicing in shallow cuts. This helped Andrew maybe it wouldn’t help him too. STOP. laugh.

STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP.

“Aaron? …Hey, you there? Hello?”

Aaron froze, dropping the shard to the floor. It took him a minute to fully come to and register the scene in front of him. A broken mirror, blood down his arms, hands, legs, floor… an aching chest and tear ridden cheeks, and his thumb hovering uselessly over the screen of his phone, he hadn’t meant to call anybody? When did he take his phone out? When did he dial a number!? He didn’t… couldn’t talk to somebody right now… he needed to bury this scene along with everything else, but he couldn’t make himself hang up. His throat was tight, words jammed inside.

“Aaron? Jesus, you okay? You sound… shit, where are you? I’m coming over.”

The sound of Nicky’s voice slowly brought Aaron fully back to himself.

“No,” Aaron croaked, but it was too late. Nicky had already hung up.

Chapter Text

By the time Aaron washed off as much blood as he could, cchnaged his clothes again, got control of his breathing and stumbled out of the back into the dorm common area room, Nicky was there, out of breath, hair sticking to his sweat damped forehead like he’d sprinted the whole way. His breathes were heavy and quick, and this wasn’t Nicky the goofy and loud mouthed cousin that got under his skin. No, this was Nicky, the man who dropped everything to take guardianship of the twins… the man who worked multiple jobs to put them through high school… the man who despite being given every reason to give up on them, never walked away. Nicky who was the first person to see Andrew and Aaron and stay. He didn’t joke. He didn’t smile. He just crossed the room and caught Aaron by the shoulders before he could collapse.

“Hey. Look at me.” Nicky’s voice was steady, nothing like his usual fast paced chatter. “What happened?”

Aaron shook his head violently, chest tight. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. This was his burden, his his baggage to carry. If he let it out, if he even hinted he wasn’t “okay” Nicky would never look at him the same, pity would take over those brown eyes, and he knew guilt would tear apart his cousins overly soft heart, thinking it was his fault somehow. Aaron needed to put the mask back on, he needed to get his shit together! Nicky was a pillar for them, something to cling onto in the dark, he would not taint his cousin with his own past.

But then his gaze landed past his cousin out the opened dorm door into the hallway, on the rum bottle, still lying on its side, label flashing like a warning sign. His throat closed. He didn’t even realize he had been gripping Nicky’s wrists that clung to his shoulders until he felt wetness under his fingernails. He must’ve been digging them into Nicky’s wrists… clinging to something to keep him there. His cousin didn’t flinch or yank away he embraced the pain and stood unmoving staring into Aaron’s eyes. The look he gave Aaron was one of somebody much older than Nicky was, the look of somebody who would burn the entire fucking world to the ground if Aaron said so. Aaron felt… secure.. wait was secure the right word? Steadying? Yes but no… Nicky made Aaron feel… safe… yes that’s right, the only times Aaron had ever felt safe was in the presence of Andrew or Nicky. He was safe. The words spilled out before he could stop them, broken and raw.

“He was here.” His voice cracked, shaking with a child’s fear, not the controlled monotone he wore like armor. “He was here, Nicky. In our dorm. In OUR ROOM. Twice. TWICE NICKY! He left…he left me things, he.. he’s not supposed to be here, why is he here? He shouldn’t be here! HE CANT BE HERE NICKY. WHY IS HE HERE? WHY? NICKY!” His voice was racked with sobs that took over.

Nicky’s grip on him tightened to a death grip, keeping him grounded to the moment and not allowing him to lose himself in memories. “Who?”

Aaron’s jaw locked, tears stinging his eyes. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t drag the name into the light. But his silence was answer enough.

Nicky pulled him in without another word. Aaron resisted for a heartbeat, then broke. His knees buckled, sobs tearing out of him in ragged gasps as he collapsed against his cousin’s chest. He excepted to feel embarrassment, to feel small and weak. Nobody had ever seen Aaron cry, except Katelyn once after he was awoken by a terrible nightmare in the following days of Drakes death. But even then he locked himself into the bathroom the moment she saw and then stormed out of the dorm when the tears had stopped. But now? He didn’t feel an ounce of shame, he felt safe, he felt… loved.. he felt like the world began and ended with Nicky’s tight embrace. Like Nicky could shield him from all the hurt and ugliness of the world outside. Like this hug could keep him from Jameson. Which seemed silly, this was Nicky he was talking about…

But soon the memories of hands in his mouth, around his throat, needles shoved into his arms, waking up naked and dirty… were replaced with memories of him studying at the Columbia houses kitchen table smelling the dinner in the oven. Aaron had gone from a chaotic life where his dinners consisted of whatever he could find that wasn’t expired, usually stale crackers with peanut butter. That had changed when Nicky took the twins in. He had always tried to attempt some sort of “extra” meal for the times he wasn’t working, and Aaron wasn’t sure why but all of them ate together. Nobody asked for “family dinners” and nobody acknowledged it… it was just.. accepted? The nights Nicky didn’t work he would cook and Aaron would work on homework at the table, Andrew would make his seldom appearance outside of their bedroom and sometimes help, sometimes just sit there and clean his knives… but he was always there. Then the three of them would eat together, usually in silence despite Nicky’s ramblings. He thought maybe his cousin had felt defeated that the twins didn’t engage in the conversation or comment on the cooking… but deep down he must’ve known that this was the some of the best moments of the twins life. Just being together by choice, enjoying a normal meal. Together.

The memory Aaron clung to was his first birthday with Nicky and Andrew, that morning he had woken up out of a nightmare and rushed to the bathroom to spill the contents of his stomach. He must’ve spent over an hour spaced out staring mindlessly into the toilet bowl. It was a weekend so he couldn’t hide himself at school and then occupy himself with homework/studying until bed. He had made his way down to the kitchen for breakfast when he saw Nicky standing there with a stupid smile across his face and he yelled “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” to him. Aaron noticed Andrew was making his way down right behind him and his twin stopped mid step. The counter was covered in dishes and baking supplies. freshly made chocolate chip pancakes were sitting out, maple syrup and butter next to them and coffee already made. Nicky had put a little birthday banner on the wall that was definitely meant for a small child, and blew up a couple balloons. The scene looked like it was suppose to be for a 6 year old, but Aaron had never celebrated his birthday… never gotten a birthday gift.. never even had somebody wish him happy birthday other then at school. Which is partly why he enjoyed school so much, his teachers were the only ones who recognized his accomplishments… Andrew silently walked over to the table and began eating, dismissing the entire scene and Nicky. Aaron however walked slowly over taking it in and turned to Nicky saying “thank you” before he grabbed his plate to join his brother. He said it low and fast but he knew Nicky heard it… he knew by the way Nicky tensed up, probably not expecting either of them to even act like he existed, he was caught off guard by the gratitude, but recovered quickly and they all ate listening to Nicky ramble on about everything and anything. The day was one of the good days Aaron had.. they spent it playing video games and hanging out, they ended it with pizza and opening a gift Nicky got gotten them each. Nicky had got Andrew black armbands, Andrew always wore long sleeve black compression shirt to cover his arms, he never took it off. Nicky gave him the arm bands and said “in case it’s hot out, so you’re not all sweaty and gross.” Andrew didn’t reply or show an ounce of emotion on his face, instead he left the room and retuned shortly after wearing the bands in place of his shirt. Aaron never saw him without them again, though he must’ve grabbed a spare pair. Aaron’s gift was a picture frame, inside was a “edited” picture of Aaron, Nicky, and Andrew as children. The original photo was Nicky and Aaron, both outside in front of a tree at Luther’s. It was Easter Sunday, they had spent it being forced to go to church with Luther, and then sit down for a meal. Tilda faked her overly caring motherly self the entire day, and while Aaron knew it would only last until they got the car to leave, he tried to soak in every moment of it.. every minute he had a “mom.” After dinner Luther had taken that photo, Aaron was sitting on a large branch looking down at Nicky and Nicky at the bottom of the trunk smiling up at Aaron. He didn’t know how Nicky edited Andrew into it but it to be sitting on Aaron’s other side, it looked like he had always been there. The way it should’ve been. Nicky only smiled and said “our family deserves to be captured.” Andrew had frozen when he saw it, but then acted as if nothing occurred. Aaron however, had kept the photo and it was currently in the drawer of the end table next to his bed. Yes, that had been a good day…

“I can’t do it again,” Aaron choked, the words muffled. “I can’t…don’t make me.. Nicky… I can’t. Please… please don’t tell Andrew, he’ll kill him, he’ll kill him and I can’t—” Aaron was loosing himself to panic again.

“Shhh.” Nicky’s hand cradled the back of his head, brining him closer while grounding him. “No one’s making you do anything. You’re safe. I’ve got you. You hear me? I’m not letting him touch you again. Ever.” Despite his immature self, Nicky was not stupid, it didn’t take him long to piece it together.

Aaron clung to him like he was drowning, nails digging into Nicky’s shirt. Head buried in Nicky’s chest, covering it in tears and snot. He was shaking uncontrollably now. He wanted to believe him. He wanted so badly to believe. Nicky’s unyielding hold never faltered.

But the stink of tobacco still clung to his skin, and in the back of his mind, Aaron knew Jameson wasn’t done.

Not yet.

And Nicky wouldn’t be enough to save him.

Chapter Text

Aaron couldn’t stop the thoughts flooding his head.

Every shadow was Jameson. Every creak of the dorm, every voice in the hall, every vibration of his phone, every day that passed caused more paranoia in Aaron. The Polaroid haunted him, when he closed his eyes, it burned across the inside of his eyelids. His younger self staring up, terrified, helpless. That hand on his mouth. That hand…. Nicky hadn’t pressed for details, and Aaron was glad, he couldn’t have told him even if he wanted to. If he admitted out loud what had been done to him by this one man, it would lead to what all the others in his past had done. He couldn’t open that can of worms.. no amount of pills could drown out what would come of the truth.

He shoved the image out of sight hours ago, little Aaron.. who should’ve been so innocent.. should’ve been protected… should’ve been loved… instead looking up into the camera awaiting his punishment… he blinked the image away again, but it didn’t matter. It had crawled under his skin, and wasn’t going anywhere.

He tried to tell himself he was safe. Jameson wasn’t here. Jameson couldn’t be here. The cruel man had wanted to fuck with him, left some disgusting reminders of the past, and left. He had no have left… it had been days since he was a sobbing mess in Nicky’s arms. Nothing had happened since… But his body wouldn’t listen. His chest stayed tight, his throat locked, his heart tripping over itself until each beat felt like it might burst. He had stopped visiting Katelyn, ignoring her insistent texts, he couldn’t see her. She would know something was wrong and push for an explanation, she wouldn’t be as easily deterred from digging as Nicky was… he stopped spending as much time with Andrew, Kevin, Neil, and Nicky as well. Using studying for upcoming exams as an excuse to hide in his dorm room. Since that night Nicky would check in every few hours, without fail, either by text or call if he was out, or by popping his head into the bedroom if he was in the dorm, just to make sure Aaron was okay. While Aaron acted annoyed by this, he was grateful that his cousin cared so much.

There was one other person who noticed his subtle shift. Andrew. He didn’t say a word about it, but his gaze tracked Aaron across the room whenever he was in his brothers company. Andrew seemed to be fixated on every tell Aaron had. If Aaron was bouncing his knee, avoiding eye contact, making up an excuse to leave, Andrew noticed. His brother and him didn’t need to vocalize their concerns, he knew by one look that Andrew knew something was up, yet he hadn’t spoken one word to Aaron since Aaron told him no.

Aaron was currently pacing the dorm in silence. His phone thrown on his bed after ignoring the 8th call in a row from Katelyn, his normally pristine area a mess, and a pill bottle in his hand. The mirror on Nicky’s bedside table he peered at, showed him a pale stranger with wide, bloodshot eyes looking back. His three day old shirt clung to him with cold sweat. His hands wouldn’t stop trembling. He rolled the bottle in his hands over and over again… it was one of Andrew’s medication bottles that was leftover from last Thanksgiving. He hadn’t planned on going to get sober, and had refilled a 30 day supply before they left for Luther’s. While Betsy had taken the bottle with her when Andrew was admitted, Aaron had called the pharmacy to refill the prescription after a month had passed… it was easy enough to impersonate his twin and take the medicine home with him. He didn’t know why he did it at the time, he had been sober, the after trauma of killing Drake had been giving him nightmares and fucking with his head… but not enough to relapse… maybe in the back of his mind he knew he might need them one day… and today was that day…

He heard himself whispering to himself, like a mantra: “Don’t let them know. Don’t let Andrew know. Don’t let Nicky know. Don’t let anybody know.”

Suddenly his phone rang again, and Aaron stormed over to click ignore on Katelyn again and turn it off. But the entire world froze as he saw the text from the unknown number…

It read: “Goodluck tonight Champ. I’ll be cheering for you.” Attached was another photo. This one was of Aaron again on the same bed looking up, but instead of a hand, it was replaced with Jamesons cock in his mouth. His right hand yanking Aaron’s hair back so his eyes were on the camera, a needle lay still stuck in Aaron’s thin pale arm, as it hung loosely at his side. The other arm was red and bruised laying on his naked thighs. Jameson enjoyed the struggle Aaron would put up before the drugs took their effect. Little Aaron’s eyes were red rimmed but hollow looking, a scream was trying to make its way out of his mouth but it was too full for anything but muffled noises to be heard.

He remembered this night… he remembered every single night until the drugs did their job. That night they were out at the movies, Aaron had been so excited to see the new Spider-Man movie playing in the cinema. While Jameson and Tilda were neglectful and rarely acknowledged Aaron’s existence other than to “punish” him, there were some days that Jameson put a small effort in. While he was a disgusting monster, Aaron still had looked forward to those times. He had earned straight A’s for the entire first semester of fifth grade, and Jameson had told him if he came up with the money they could go. Aaron had been collecting change for days, he went into the nearby gas station looking for any coins on the street on the walk down, and inside the store. After two days of wandering the nearby streets in the evening and picking up any change, he had only came up with $4.50. So Aaron resorted to other methods, after school the following day on his way home from school he passed by an ice cream shop and while the teenager was helping a customer Aaron had swipped the tip jar and ran. He didn’t feel guilty about it, the girl had a job that paid her, she had clean clothes on, her nails were done nicely, she would be fine. Aaron however hadn’t showered in days because their water was shut off again, his dirt stained clothes stunk, his own nails and hair were ungroomed, he was underweight, and wouldn’t even have been able to afford to buy a single life cream cone from her. No he didn’t feel bad at all, he took the $23.75 out of the jar and threw the evidence aside. That afternoon he showed Jameson his money and he told Aaron they could go that Saturday.

Aaron was so excited, he managed to fill the tub up with some old water bottles he snagged at school and rinsed out a blue tshirt and jeans, and finger combed his blonde hair. The other boys at school had been talking for weeks about this movie, and he bragged all day at school that he was going to see it, he felt included for once. He felt good, he was happy. The two of them went to the cinema and watched the movie, it had started off as a great night, Aaron had enough for the two tickets plus popcorn and a small blue raspberry slushy. He had never had a slushy before, and he learned he LOVED it. It wasn’t until they were leaving that everything went to hell, they were walking out of the theater Jamesons hand on his shoulder in a casual grip directing him where to go, when another man and his wife passed by them. The man made an innocent comment saying “how was the movie guys?” And then he smiled at Aaron and added “my son loves marvel as well, I hope you enjoyed it as much as he did!” The man meant it as a harmless passing comment, but that’s not how Jameson took it.

That night Jameson had punished Aaron for “begging for another man’s attention.”

He was punished for 7 hours.

He was drugged after 3 hours.

He had been tied up.

He had been raped.

He had been abused.

He had puked and been forced to eat it.

He had been forced to pleasure Jameson back.

He had been forced to beg for Jameson to hurt him.

He had woken up with broken ribs, a sprained ankle and wrist, a black eye, a new tract mark, bloody boxers, and a puddle of vomit next to him.

He had not woken up alone.

He had been forced to watch the video the next day, the entire 7 hours and 3 minutes of it.

He had been forced to apologize to Jameson 32 times during that video.

He then had been forced to watch the 30 minute video Jameson and Tilda had made together once Jameson left Aaron’s room. Jameson told him “this is how you’re suppose to treat me when we have our special time together.”

Aaron now hates Spider-Man.

——————-

The phone slipped from his hands clattering to the ground as the walls pressed closer. His lungs shrank with every breath until there was no air left to steal. His legs went weak, and he dropped to the floor, curling into himself as panic clawed through him. His breaths came in sharp, ragged gasps, too fast, too loud. His vision blurred.

He thought of Andrew… what Andrew would do if he saw that photo, how furious, how destructive it would be. He thought of Nicky, who looked at him with such stupid faith and love, who would crumble if he realized just how much Aaron had hidden.

Aaron couldn’t carry it anymore.

But he HAD too.

Nicky and Matt were out at classes and wouldn’t be back, they were all meeting at the stadium later tonight for their game. Nicky had recently checked in, and nobody would be by. Aaron tried to calm the panic, tried to steady his breathing, but he was already too far gone. The room tilted sideways, his body refusing him. Panic had eaten through every muscle, every thought. He curled in tighter on himself as his body and the world blinked to black.

⸻

When he opened his eyes again, it was to soft lamplight and the faint scent of coffee. His head rested on something solid and warm. Aaron had expected to wake up on the floor, probably soaked in his own piss, and then get his shit togther and go to the game, and act like everything was okay…. Damn maybe him and Neil Josten had more alike than he thought… but he wasn’t on the ground, no he was in his bed. Blinking through the haze, Aaron saw a familiar face hovering above him.

Andrew.

His brother’s brow was furrowed in worry, his usual blank expression was gone. Andrew’s expression was… concern? No… worry? No… fear. Andrew was afraid and wasn’t hiding it. This alone caused Aaron to bolt up in panic.

“Stop.” Andrew’s voice was sharp enough to hault Aaron’s movements.

The brothers locked eyes and neither spoke or moved for a long while.

It was Aaron who broke the silence. “Why are you here?”

Andrew continued to stare at him, the fearful expression calmly shifting back into a bored one, but his voice betrayed his face as it came out angry, “what happened.”

Aaron thought quickly, if Andrew walked in, it would’ve only looked like Aaron had passed out or fallen asleep? “Nothing, i must’ve passed out, no time to eat, fuck ton of studying, exams an all.” he tried to sound unbothered.

Andrew slowly leaned forward invading Aaron’s space and spoke in a deadly whisper “if you fucking lie to me one more time, I will kill you myself.”

Aaron started, “I’m no-“

His words were cut off when Andrew held up the pill bottle in one hand and the text message on his phone in the other. The wrath in his eyes could devour the world.

Chapter Text

Aaron swallowed hard, shame curling in his stomach. Andrew shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t see him like this. But the fear still gnawed at him, still whispered that Jameson was waiting just outside the door.

That’s when he noticed Nicky standing a few feet behind Andrew, he was bitting his fingernails as he stood there visibly shaking as he quietly cried. A freshly made bruise covered one of his eyes, that would definitely turn into a gruesome black eye by tomorrow. “I tried to call and you didn’t pick up, I just… I just wanted to make sure you were okay.. you didn’t.. you didn’t pick up, so I asked Andrew to drive me back to check on you… I didn’t… we didn’t.. Jesus Aaron you scared me to death! You were laying here…. With fucking pills! Did you relapse?! Andrew’s pills! Why do you have Andrew’s pills! And your ph… your phon-“ Nicky couldn’t get the rest of his words out between the sobs that racked his frame. One quick glance at Andrew’s split open bloody knuckles showed that more had obviously happened.

Aaron’s hands shook uncontrollably, and he tried and failed to hide the unsteady breathing. Andrew noticed and caught them, holding them firm between his own.

“Look at me.” His voice cracked. Andrew’s voice.. cracked… his brother.. was holding Aaron’s trembling hands in his own.. and his brother’s voice fucking cracked. Aaron felt a wave of despair that he never wanted to feel again. “I thought you were dead,” Andrew whispered in a voice so low, that Aaron didn’t think he was meant to hear it.

Tears slipped hot and fast down Aaron’s cheeks before he could stop them. He turned his face away, but Andrew didn’t let go, instead he tightened his grip around Aaron’s hands and gave him a firm tug to get his attention. Aaron took a deep steadying breath and then he slowly pulled himself into a sitting position as Nicky walked over to sit at Andrew’s side.

Aaron knew neither would push for more than he was willing to give them, but neither would let him get away with waving this all off with no explanation at all. So he sat there as Nicky watched him with grief ridden eyes, and as Andrew glared unblinkingly at him. The two people in this world that he wanted to keep this from, the two people in this world he didn’t want to hurt, the two people in this world he… loved. Yes, he loved that, with every single fiber of his being. While he would never say it out loud and rarely showed it, he loved them both fiercely. And for the first time in years, Aaron let himself cry into someone else’s hands. He allowed himself completely fall apart as Andrew kept a firm grasp on his hands, and Nicky grabbed his body and pulled his side into Nicky’s chest. He had both of them there, one at his front and one by his side, his family was there. That was enough. That was.. everything.

He let himself feel it all.

After what seemed like forever, the sobs slowly stopped and Aaron opened his eyes again. Andrew’s gaze was intense and all he said was “Jameson.”

Of course Andrew would figure it out, even if Nicky hadn’t said a word about the other night, his brother would’ve taken less then a minute to put it together, he probably already suspected something was wrong. “yes,” Aaron’s voice was shaky.

Andrews jaw clenched, Aaron thought that maybe his brother was more angry with himself that he had allowed somebody who hurt Aaron to get so close to him. Angry at himself that Aaron knew the same pain that Andrew endured at Drake’s mercy. Angry with himself that another person had hurt Aaron. While his brother had no way of knowing this fact, and couldn’t have stopped it, he didn’t even know about Aaron back then. He knew Andrew would feel like he failed to protect Aaron. He would hold onto this.

“Why?” Andrew said his gaze still pinned on Aaron. He knew he didn’t mean why did it happen, he meant why didn’t he tell Andrew.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Drake?” Aaron shot back. He saw out of the corner of his eye Nicky full body flinching at the name.

To his credit Andrew didn’t react, he didn’t falter, he didn’t even look away. Instead he pulled Aaron’s phone out and deleted the message, and then he pocketed the bottle of pills.

Aaron tracked the movement with his eyes before returning them to his brother’s stare.
“You didn’t take any,” Andrew stated, not a question but a fact.

Aaron shook his head, “no.”

Andrew nodded, then looked like he was fighting an internal battle for a moment before asking “Tell me what happened.” He didn’t phrase it like a question, but Aaron knew him to well. He wanted to know what happened to Aaron, all of it and who was responsible, so he could probably hunt each of them down and slit their throats. If he killed their own mother for simply putting her hands on Aaron, he couldn’t imagine the fates of all the people who had done so much worse… Aaron had done the same for Andrew. Flashes of a crushed skull, so much blood, and Andrew’s white knuckle grip on the headboard, raced through his mind. He did it for Andrew but also for himself, for every time he wished he had the strength to kill the people who had hurt him.

He wasn’t strong enough to stop his abusers, but he made himself strong enough to stop Andrew’s.

“I… can’t,” Aaron whispered in shame.

Nicky suddenly spoke up, “It’s my job to look after you. Both of you. Fuck! Fuck… And I failed you both… I… I should’ve known… I should’ve.. shit! you should feel safe enough to come to me.. I’m sorry… I’m..”

Andrew was the one to cut him off, “Shut up Nicky.” A moment of silence passed before Andrew spoke again. “You did not fail anybody. You stayed. You chose us. Both of us.” So little was spoken, yet so much was exposed with those few words. Stayed… chose us… both of us…

Aaron swallowed hard, “I want too… I want to tell you both, Jesus fuck, you don’t know how badly I want too… I’m just.. not ready yet.” It was the truth, and it was a lie. Aaron didn’t want them to know any of it, but too much was already exposed, now denying and hiding would only hurt them more.

“When you are, we’re here to listen, to any of it. I love you Aaron, I love both of you. I’m so sorry,” Nicky said tears spilling down his cheeks.

Andrew’s face was unreadable for a long moment. He stood suddenly releasing Aaron’s hands and stormed out of the dorm slamming the door behind him hard enough to shake the few pictures on the walls.

Aaron stared at the door as if expecting it to open and Andrew to reappear, but he wouldn’t. This was the second time Aaron had told Andrew no in regards to this situation. Andrew wouldn’t push, he would ask again. He knew whatever Andrew was about to do, it wouldn’t be good.

His thoughts were interrupted when Nicky said, “I’ve never seen him scared before.”

Aaron’s head snapped to Nicky, “what?”

Nicky took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and leaning back against the wall, “I told him you weren’t picking up and I needed to check on you. He didn’t say anything just brought me straight here nearly killing us both with how fucking fast he drove.”

Nicky turned to look out the window and kept his eyes anywhere but on Aaron as he continued. “When we got here… you were… you were just laying on the ground, the pills scattered around you and the bottle still in your hand… I thought.. Jesus Aaron we thought you had killed yourself.”

Aaron didn’t say anything only waited for Nicky to gather his thoughts so he could continue. “I froze, ya know? I thought I was looking at your dead body and just froze... But Andrew didn’t. I don’t think I ever saw him loose control until that moment. It wasn’t like the night he beat up those guys to help me, it wasn’t like in Baltimore when he saw Neil… this was worse… this was.. so. Much. Worse. “

Nicky took a shuddering breath and looked like he was debating stopping right there. “He ran to you, before I could even register what the hell was happening, he was already there, and he started shaking you, he.. He screamed Aaron, he was fucking… shit.. he was yelling “no” and “please” over and over again as he shook you. I thought he was going to rip you in half with how hard he was grabbing you… I think that scared me more than you did, you should’ve seen it, he just.. freaked.”

Nicky shook his head again and scrubbed a hand down his face, as if trying to erase the memory. “ He wasn’t thinking straight at all, wasn’t calming down. He was just screaming and wouldn’t let you go, and I swear he had fucking tears in his eyes. The sound of his yelling, I NEVER want to hear that again. It’ll haunt my fucking dreams..I mean… Christ Aaron, we’re talking about Andrew. As much as I hate how emotionless he is, I would do anything to ever see him like that again. It wasn’t until Neil came rushing in behind us and literally had to cover your body with his own to get Andrew to stop. He started punching the ground, the walls, anything he could that wasn’t you or Neil, As upset as he was he wouldn’t hurt or shove off Neil, you could see the moment Neil pulled him out of it, it was like a flip switched and he was still visibly shaken to the fucking core but he trusted Neil enough to help you.”

Aaron’s stomach turned, not only had he completely added another fucked up event to his brother and cousins life, but fucking Neil Josten had to witness it. The thought of Andrew in that state made him want to throw up, Andrew was the cool headed one who thought everything through, he should’ve assessed the situation and checked to see if Aaron was breathing. The fact he didn’t even consider that, was so uncharacteristic for him. Aaron shuddered with self loathing and pure disgust. “Your eye, Andrew did it?”

Nicky let out a broken laugh. “No… if you thought Andrew had freaked out over that, you can’t imagine his reaction when he noticed your phone next to you and opened it…. He uh… he kinda went insane… I don’t even… I can’t even explain it… Andrew just fucking snapped, but it wasn’t lashing out like before, no this was Andrew attacking himself. He… fuck.. no I’m sorry I… I can’t talk about it, I think I’ll throw up.. it was so bad Aaron, that at some point I moved without even realizing it and had grabbed ahold of Andrew. Trust me I know it was a suicidal move.. oh shit uhh. That joke was in poor taste right now..” Nicky shuddered. “Uhh anyway, I just wanted to, I dunno honestly, help him? Make sure he didn’t really hurt himself? I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking, I just reached out to grab his shoulder, and I swear to god Neil flew across the room at the speed of light tackling me and holy fuck that little guy can hit hard.” Nicky cringed and rubbed his eye.

Guilt racked through Aaron, he had ruined their day, caused Andrew to loose control, which was no small thing, caused Josten to deck Nicky, scared all of them, and now all of them knew the truth… well part of it that is.

Nicky’s phone went off causing both of them to jump, he picked it up and said “hello? Hi, Coach. Yeah… yeah we’re on our way.”

Aaron’s heart sank… the game..

“Goodluck tonight champ. I’ll be cheering for you.”

Chapter Text

The stadium lights at the next game felt too bright, too harsh. The crowd’s roar rattled Aaron’s bones.

Andrew had shown up moments before the game started, earning the promise of a lecture from Wymack, and a snappy retort from Dan. His brother didn’t even spare him a glance, he just went into the goal without saying a word. Josten however, had been there before Aaron and Nicky showed up, but he only gave Aaron a knowing nod and forced smile, then quickly went back to acting like Aaron didn’t exist. At least he didn’t give Aaron any pity, just the acknowledgment of being glad Aaron wasn’t actually dead. He didn’t think he would tolerate anything else from the annoying red head. Christ, he didn’t know what Andrew saw in the man… but he hated to admit that he had to give Josten some props for how he didn’t hesitate acting out, when Nicky crossed one of Andrews boundaries. While he shouldn’t have touched Nicky, it did put some warmth in his chest thinking somebody cared for Andrew that deeply.

The first half of the game was uneventful, the score was 4-0 Foxes favor. They all had been playing well as a team, but Andrews anger was evident. He shut out the goal and smashed each attempt to score across the court. His arms must be trembling by now with the amount of force he put behind each hit. Nicky and him played well enough you wouldn’t have ever been able to tell they were sobbing messes an hour ago.

As the game progressed Aaron started to falter a bit more. The words of the text message replaying in his head “I’ll be cheering for you.” Aaron had control of the ball after checking another player and stealing it. He was about to start running towards the dealers, when a chill went up his spine. He told himself to focus on the court, on the ball, on the play, but the hairs on his neck prickled.

And then he saw him.

Jameson.

Home side of the stadium, 8 rows up, standing behind a group of drunken men, smiling like he owned the place.

Aaron’s body locked. His vision tunneled. His chest heaved like it was collapsing in on itself. The racket slipped through his fingers unnoticed. The court, the game, the crowd, all of it blurred into nothing but him. Suddenly a violent weight went crashing into him sending him sprawling onto the ground, knocking the breath from his lungs. The other side of the stadium roared with cheers as the striker scooped up the ball jumping over Aaron’s body and rushing towards goal, and the sound of the buzzer for a score blared through the stadium.

Aaron was shocked for a moment at the unexpected goal, the fact that the striker had scored against Andrew. He whipped his head towards their goal but the 5ft goalkeeper wasn’t there. Only an empty goal and a ball.

Andrew had seen it instantly. He’d spent years reading his twin’s silences, his smallest tells. And it only took the millisecond from when Aaron froze to when he was taken to the ground for Andrew follow Aaron’s frozen stare.

He was across the court in seconds, before Aaron had even realized what was happening Andrew was already off the court completely, and by the time he had gotten to his feet Neil was flying out of the court doors as well. Aaron looked around and saw Jameson was absent as well, he must’ve seen the chaotic exit made by his twin and booked it.

Aaron and Nicky were quick on their heels sprinting to follow, the shouts of their teammates and Wymack asking what the fuck they were doing were background noise.

Aaron followed the sound of banging and shouting to outside the stadium doors and threw them open as he ran outside. Andrew and Neil were nowhere to be seen. “I’ll check around the back, you look in the front,” Nicky exclaimed out of breath. Aaron didn’t have a chance to reply before his cousin was already gone.

The night air smelled like turf and cheap concession-stand popcorn, but Aaron barely noticed it. The lights from the stadium cut through the dark like surgical lamps, everything too bright, too precise. He used that light to check around the side of the building before heading towards the parking lot area for Andrew.

He made it a few feet from the west side exit of the stadium, past a few cars when he heard the click of a lighter. Aaron stopped dead in his tracks and forced himself to turn around.

He was standing there, leaning against a red ford pickup truck, legs crossed at the ankles, one elbow propped against the trucks hood, and a cigar dangling from the other hand. a cocky smirk played at his lips as he spoke, “you still do that little thing where your breath hitches, whenever you see me. I’m flattered of course that I still have such an effect on you.” Jameson spoke so casually, as if they were old friends meeting up for coffee.

Every part of Aaron tightened. He could feel the old, easy panic begin to climb his throat, the part of him that had learned no matter how hard he fought back, he could never win. But he had spent the last few days crying and panicking like a pathetic little bitch, and he was no longer powerless and alone. He would be damned if he cowered to this man right now. Despite every muscle in Aaron’s body protesting to run away, scream, cry, beg, he stood tall and faked a false sense of confidence.

“What do you want,” Aarons voice only slightly wavered.

Jameson laughed, it was a sick thing. And the smile that formed was slow and deliberate, “I told you, I was in town. Thought I would check in, I’ve missed you, Champ.”

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT,” Aaron shouted, red hot anger building within him.

A chuckle was the only response he got, Jameson took a long drag of his cigar before tapping his lips with his finger, and letting out a sigh. “I was visiting a friend nearby, we stopped and got a bite to eat at a local diner, and I can’t tell you what a pleasant suprise it was to hear some teenagers in the booth next to us going on and on about this “underdog exy team” they were boasting about the famous Kevin Day, and his sidekick Neil Josten, and their crazy goalkeeper Andrew Minyard.” Jameson pushed off the truck and stood at full height, forcing Aaron to look up at him despite being feet apart. “Andrew Minyard, they said. You see I thought maybe they had misspoke so I asked them if they meant Aaron Minyard, how funny would that be, such a small world you see… anyway, they told me that Andrew was Aaron’s twin brother, and filled me in about your team and were happy to spill the details about the next home game being played that very night.” Jameson waved his hand around in a, you see, motion. “Fate seemed to be calling.”

Aaron sucked in a breath stunned, “you… you came to see me… you did all of this? Because you were in the area?” It didn’t make sense, him showing up, the gifts, the texts, the taunting.

Jameson let out a laugh and said “no, I came to the game because I was in the area. The rest? No, that was for fun.”

Aaron’s jaw clenched. For fun? He had made Aaron’s life a living hell and caused so much destruction lately all for fun? Aaron’s fist clenched and he was about to charge when he heard a scraping sound coming up behind him. Aaron looked back and saw Andrew stalking slowly up dragging the tip of his knife across the cars he was passing by. A wide crazed look filled his eyes, the rest of his face was blank of emotion.

“You do not don’t speak to him,” Andrew grunted out. He was already moving then, feet like pistons, until he was barely touching Jameson’s chest with his knife. Both men stood tensed glaring at each other.

Jameson rolled with it, hands up, eyes bright with a kind of amusement that made Aaron want to vomit. He only saw the mirror of Aaron, he didn’t know just how different the twins were. “Andrew, nice to see you again,” he said with a casual smirk, “Big brother theatrics. Cute, but you’re little tantrum the other day was a little…hmm.. immature I must say.”

Andrew shoved him backward, away from Aaron. Jameson’s back hit the truck, hard. The sound of it stunned Aaron, an ugly percussion that felt like a bell tolling something irreversible.

Jameson laughed a light, disgusting sound. “Little Aaron, letting everybody else do the fighting for you. It’s adorable, really. You’re a little wounded animal, they all tend too. It works well for you.”

Andrew’s hand closed on Jameson’s throat. For a second the world narrowed down to the bulging veins in Andrew’s iron gripped hand and the way Jameson’s face held a slightly amused look. Then Jameson reached into his pocket, slow as if pulling a rabbit from a hat, and for a fleeting moment Aaron thought he was reaching for a camera. He felt the old, childish panic spike up his spine anyway, a reflexive that only came out around him, hot fear.

“Such rude behavior from children, when I came bearing gifts tonight. I thought you’d like,” Jameson choked out, pretending that his airway wasn’t being constricted, and he pulled something out and flicked it into the light spilling from the stadium.

It wasn’t a camera, it wasn’t alcohol, it wasn’t a picture. No. It was worse. Between his fingers sat a small black USB flash drive. Aaron didn’t need to see what was on it to know the weight of it. The sheer amount of videos and photographs that were probably burned onto it, the years of Aaron’s life that he would never get back, all the creative fucked up events he was forced to endure. That tiny little thing, held the ruin to Aaron’s entire life. How many files did it contain? How many files were there… probably hundreds. Had Jameson continued to still watch them? Who else had he shown? The thoughts were quickly drowning him and Aaron faltered, one leg buckling and both of his knees hit the pavement hard. The impact sending shooting pain up his thighs.

Jameson looked down at Aaron on his knees and smiled as he barely managed the air to say “now that’s a familiar sight.”

He heard Andrew’s breath change, the way a coiled thing makes a sound that means it’s about to spring. Andrew’s face was a thing out of nightmares, the calm had gone from him.

Loud footsteps had Aaron whirling around to see Nicky and Neil running towards them. By the time he turned his head back around Jameson’s cigar was rolling across the concrete.

Jameson was sprawled underneath Andrew as his brothers fist rained down across his face repeatedly, and a knife being held to his throat with the other. Andrew seemed to be in a daze, fists coming down again and again, the knife pressing down hard enough blood was oozing from his throat but not deep enough to kill him… yet. It was almost comical to see this gigantic man under the mercy of a 5ft, 150lb Andrew. Neil was there now standing back watching with a deadly gaze pinned to Jameson, and there was blood… so much blood… blood on Andrew’s hands and knees… and a hand… Jameson’s hand squeezing Andrew’s forearm clawing into it.

That same hand that had brought Aaron so much pain.. was touching his brother AGAIN. Aaron screamed “NO.” Before he could stop himself. He meant for Jameson to stop touching his brother but Andrew immediately halted his movements and his head snapped to Aaron. The mania filled eyes showed nothing but wrath. He had only taken his gaze off of Jameson for a moment, and by the amount of blood and the beating he had taken, Jameson should’ve been unconscious. But he was over double Andrew’s size and somehow still conscious, that second of distraction was all he needed to violently jerk upwards with his hips bucking Andrew off of him and flipped there positions so Andrew was shoved stomach down into the pavement and Jameson was on top of him, one fist in Andrew’s hair shoving his head down, the other with his forearm braced behind Andrew’s neck, as he whispered something in Andrew’s ear. The entire scene seemed to have played out in slow motion, and the horror that shot through Aaron was a feeling he wished he never felt again. He had done this, he had brought his upon his brother, he was the reason that Andrew was currently in an all to familiar position again. All three of them didn’t hesitate to lung for the two.

Surprisingly, it was Nicky that reached them first, grabbing Jameson by the throat and yanking him to the ground. Neil immediately going to Andrew’s side where his twin laid frozen in shock. Neil didn’t touch him, he didn’t invade his space, he just laid down next to him on his side blocking Andrews body with his own from everybody else, giving Andrew that protection and blocking Andrew’s field of vision with his right hand that floated above the side of Andrew’s face. Neil put the left side of his own face on the pavement across from Andrew, staring at him, as he spoke something quietly in Russian. Aaron barely registered the scene before he was right behind Nicky and stopped just shy of joining his cousin who was now on top of Jameson.

He stood unmoving, just like his twin, but for another reason. Andrew was frozen in shock from the unexpected position he was put in, the same exact position Drake had him in last year. Aaron was frozen in surprise from what he was witnessing. Jameson was on his back staring down at his stomach, face leeched of color. Nicky was sitting on top of him, a knee on each side of Jamesons hips, one hand around the other man’s throat, and one hand holding the hilt of Andrew’s knife. The knife that was currently sticking out of Jamesons abdomen. To Aaron’s surprise, Nicky didn’t shake one bit, instead he leaned down to speak into Jamesons ear and Aaron could barely make out the words, “That’s for my boys, you sick fuck!”

“Nicky.” Aaron’s heartbeat quickened as he walked over and knelt down next to Nicky and sternly moved Nicky’s hand from the knife, replacing it with his own. Enough was enough. He wasn’t going to let either of them fight this battle for one more second, or get hurt for him again. This was Aaron’s burden, it had always been his. Jamison’s eyes met Aaron’s and he let out a wet broken laugh. “I always knew I would have your hands on me again, time doesn’t change anything.”

Aaron’s grip tightened as he twisted the knife and slowly spoke, “Fuck. You.” Jameson let out a pained groan and hi breathing started to stutter. “FUCK. YOU.” Aaron said again louder. “FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.” He twisted the knife again harder and harder. He could see why Andrew liked them so much. The power. The control. “FUCK YOU!” This was a monster, he had hurt Aaron, he had hurt Tilda, he has probably hurt so many others. Aaron couldn’t stop all the evil people in the world, but two seemed like a pretty good start. “FUCKKKK YOUUU!!!”

A hand came down on Aaron’s shoulder hard and firm. “Aaron give me the knife,” it was Neil who spoke now. Aaron looked back down at Jameson, realizing he was fading in and out of consciousness, Nicky was still next to him, and Andrew was now standing looking bored again as he took the scene in. Aaron returned Neil’s gaze. Neil reached out his hand. “I need you to give me the knife and leave. Now.”

Aaron didn’t move, “why?” He asked.

“Unless you want to end up in jail, because I highly doubt using self defense for two murders in less then 10 months, will fly in court. You will give me the knife, and you will go,” Neil stated.

Aaron knew he was right. He wanted to kill Jameson… he did… he really did.. for everything he had done, but more so for how he hurt Andrew. But he also… didn’t? Those fleeting memories of some good times with him flashed by. Jameson teaching Aaron to play catch with a raggedy football at the park, Jameson surprising Aaron with a ice cream and a VCR tape on a random Saturday afternoon, their frequent gas station runs for Aaron’s slim Jim’s’ blue bug Juice and Jameson cigars. Not every single memory with the man was bad, and that confused him. It really fucking confused him.

Reluctantly he gave Neil the knife with unsteady hands and let Nicky haul him to his feet.

Neil grabbed it with an unreadable expression “you trust me?”

Aaron shook his head, “No. But Andrew does.”

Neil smiled at that and reached into his pocket for his phone, he had it to his ear and waved them off in a frantic gesture. Nicky took ahold of Aaron’s elbow and started pulling him towards Andrew’s car, when his brother joined his other side. The three of them silently walked together, as Neil’s voice was distantly heard behind them.

“Yes, Agent Browning. It’s me, yeah I know. I have one of my father’s men for you, he’s pathetically low in rank, but I figured you’ve probably had shit luck with anybody more important. You want him or not?”

Chapter Text

The dorm is quiet. Too quiet.
The kind of silence that follows a storm and leaves everything cracked open in its wake.

Nicky’s slumped on the couch, head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed, and breathed like a man who’d been holding his breath for years. His jersey is ripped, collar stretched, a smear of dried blood marking his cheek that isn’t his. He hasn’t bothered to clean it. None of them bothered to change or attempt to clean themselves up.

Andrew stands leaning on the doorframe, his shoulder pressed against the closed dorm door. His presence there felt like a barrier between the cousins and the rest of the world. His stared at his knuckles that he was silently flexing, split open and torn skin covered his pale hands. The blood there is darker, nearly black under the flickering light. He doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. His eyes are blank, too calm in that way that only Andrew can make terrifying.

Aaron sat on the floor by the coffee table, with his elbows resting on his knees. He was spinning the USB in his fingers, Andrew had picked it up and gave it to him when they arrived back to the dorms. He dropped it in front of him watching it clatter to the floor. This tiny little piece of plastic was capable of so much destruction, it held years of painful memories. Aaron lifted his foot up and smashed it beneath his cleat. He was too exhausted to feel anything, where there should be fear or panic, only a dark empty pit remained. He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath but when he finally breathes, it comes out as a shaking laugh that cracks somewhere in the middle. “You ever just… wonder when it finally happened?” he asks, voice unsteady. “Like which time fucked me up beyond repair?”

Nobody spoke but Aaron could tell by the tensing of Andrew’s shoulders and the way Nicky’s eyes snapped open that both were listening, waiting, for anything Aaron would offer as explanation.

Aaron’s throat tightened and he laughed, a broken sound that belonged in someone else’s mouth. “You wanna know what’s funny?” he says quietly. “I used to think I could handle him. That if I just fought back enough or stayed locked in my room out of sight, it’d stop. That he would stop.”

“Aaron—” Nicky starts, but was interrupted when Aaron continued.

“He used to make me watch,” Aaron stated matter of factly, voice flat, and keeping a fixed stare at the picture of an exy stick and ball Matt had hung-up, on the wall across from him. “When he hurt mom. Said it’d remind me what happens when I don’t behave.”

Nicky let out a chocked breath, but Aaron doesn’t look at him.

“He made me do things. Took pictures.. Videos. Said he’d show everybody if I ever tried to tell.” His voice catches, Aaron debated shutting up right then, but was to tired to have this conversation again, he needed to get it all out so it was over. “And when I fought back he would laugh at me, but when I started to get bigger and stronger, he made sure I couldn’t the next time. That’s how the drugs started. I… I took pills, because needles reminded me of him.”

Silence folds over them again. Both men were now watching Aaron intensely, waiting for him to continue he thought. Neither one said a word or moved an inch, as if afraid anything they did would cause Aaron to close back up. Little did they know Aaron was as weak as Jameson made him out to be, he couldn’t carry this anymore.

“After a while he saw that he had less of an effect on me. That’s when he started taking videos of mom too and made me watch. Sometimes it was a lesson on how to properly pleasure him, somtimes it was a lesson of how bad it could get. Mom knew about it, but she never said a word, never helped, never fought back. She… she was fucking pathetic, she didn’t try to get help. She was the adult. She was the fucking parent!”

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Andrew cut in, jolting Aaron’s rant.

Aaron stared at him confused. When Andrew didn’t continue Nicky chimed in with, “uhhh. That’s not.. Andrew what the fuck dude.”

Andrew slid him an unimpressed look, before turning back to his brother. “You’re angry Tilda stayed silent, allowing this to continue. Yet, you’re doing the same thing.”

“What? No, Andrew how can you even say that?” Aaron asked surprised. Was he? Had he been doing exactly what he resented his mom for?

“You think you’re doing the right thing by keeping this from us? To what? spare us the burden of your pain? As if we all haven’t had our fair share of fucked up shit happen. You only hurt everybody around you, by keeping this buried so deeply it’s eating you alive. Silence protects nobody but them,” Andrew said coldly.

“Pretty hypocritical coming from you,” Aaron scoffed, a rising anger burning his chest. “How the fuck can you say shit like that when we didn’t find out about Drake until we literally caught him raping you! I don’t recall you opening up about anything else that’s happened to you! Yet you expect me too just pour my own secrets?” Aaron shouted, too aware of Nicky beginning to rise up ready to intervene between the twins if necessary.

Andrew looking as unimpressed as ever simply shrugged and said, “fine.”

“Fine?” Aaron asked.

“Fine. I’ll tell you,” Andrew said.

Aaron was stunned to silence, Andrew would tell him? Everything? Just like that? “What… you’ve never.. why would you..?” Aaron wasn’t able to form the correct words, but Andrew knew what he was trying to say.

“You never asked. Tell us what you feel comfortable with, and then I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” Andrew said, but a slight hint of emotion came through the ending of his speech. Aaron couldn’t decipher what it was.

Aaron took a steadying breath, Andrew who was the strongest person he knew, was willing to share every single demon if Aaron asked him too. The thought alone was enough to give Aaron the courage to try.

The words come in uneven bursts. He talks about Jameson forcing him to do things, about pictures and videos used to keep him silent. About the way Jameson hurt his mom. The endless needles painful mornings. How the threats never stopped, how his addiction started there, with pressure and fear. The ways he took his anger out on himself and those around him. The days he was locked in his room with no food or water. The fractured untreated bones, and hidden bruises. The far and few good times that were scattered in between the horrors. How when his mom and Jameson were on the outs, the other men she brought around would be just as cruel. As he spoke to them words like “begged to stop” “cried myself to sleep” “it hurt so bad” “please” “I was so afraid” were spoken to many times. It all came out in a jumble of word vomit and Aaron was surprised at just how much he revealed, at how easy it was to tell his brother and cousin. He admired the way both men sat there silently waiting for him to finish, never pressing, never interrupting, just listening.

There are things he doesn’t say. You can see them in the way Aaron’s fingers twitch, the times he started to say a story but cut himself off and switched topics, the names he almost spoke but refused, by the way his jaw tightens before he looks away. But he had said enough, more then he ever thought he would.

“There… there were more than just him… and there was a lot more shit that happened too, I mean more than all of that,” Aaron admits quietly, giving a waving gesture referring to his scattered and all over the place confession he had just given them. “But… one day I’ll tell you both everything. I promise, I just…Just not tonight.”

Nicky’s eyes fill with something raw maybe anger, grief, love all tangled up. He leans forward, voice soft but fierce, “You don’t have to say anything you’re not ready to, Aaron. I know I said you should be able to talk to me, but I’ll wait, however long it takes until you’re ready. And if you’re never ready than that’s okay. You’re safe here. I’ve got you, both of you, okay? Always.” He looks like he’s about to get up to hug Aaron, but catches himself as he thinks better of it.

Andrew finally moves, as he pushes off the door and makes his way over to sit next to Aaron on the ground. His phone buzzes and checks whatever it is, and then slides it into his pocket. He’s been quiet this whole time, but his voice cuts clean through the room when he speaks. “Thank you.”

Aaron jolts back, out of everything he expected Andrew to say, that was not one of them. Aaron studied his twins eyes that were full of red hot hatred and anger while Andrew studied the puzzled expression on Aaron’s face before adding, “for trusting us.”

Aaron’s brows furrowed, Andrew thought a part of the reason he had kept this from him, was because he didn’t trust him? That is the furthest thing from the truth. Yes his twin was unhinged and made zero sense 90% of the time, and yes he had done awful things, but Aaron trusted him with his entire life, despite all the reasons he shouldn’t. It was instinctive for him.

“I always have,” Aaron quietly spoke.

Andrew’s jaw clenched, “he’s taken care of. Neil is on his way back now. He will never be a problem again.”

Nicky let out a sigh, “uhh is he dead? Wait, actually do I want to even know?”

Andrews reply was a stone cold stare at his cousin, and a quirk of his brow. As if daring Nicky to ask about Neil’s scheme.

Aaron thought about how Neil didn’t hesitate to jump to Andrews defense against Nicky, how he protected Andrew in his most vulnerable state, how quickly he brought Andrew out of his traumatic memories, how he didn’t fight any battles for him but stood unmoving nearby watching, how tonight he risked the FBI loosing their trust in him just to cover for Aaron, because Aaron meant a lot to Andrew. “You know.. maybe Josten isn’t that bad.” The words almost made Aaron vomit.

The look that flashed across Andrew’s face was warm. It only lasted a second before he schooled his features but Aaron and Nicky had seen it, it was warm and.. content? No.. happy? Yes.. Andrew looked happy at that comment.
“I’m talking to Wymack tomorrow.”

Nicky looks up, blinking away the last of his tears that had been spilling down his cheeks throughout the entire conversation. “About what?”

Andrew’s eyes flick toward the door. “The five of us. Same dorm.”

Nicky lets out a shaky laugh, half relief, half exhaustion. “God, it’s about time. I’ve missed you and Kevin’s annoying bickering in the mornings and Neil’s a better gaming partner than Matt.”

Andrew’s gaze lingers back to Aaron and he says, “ask me.”

Aaron studied his brother, sitting next to him, waiting to be asked to bear his own trauma. Then to his cousin, who was standing now looking over both of them, the way he has been since he took them in all those years ago. He knew this was far from over. Andrew and Nicky had accepted what he was willing to say tonight, but Andrew wouldn’t let this go so easily, there would be hell to pay, but what was to come was a problem for another day. There was no feeling of shame or embarrassment, only mutual support between the three. For tonight he had his family together, that was everything.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Aaron finally spoke.