Chapter Text
Madara didn’t know he would need his shinobi training to rein kids in. As they grew, they kicked, they climbed him like a tree, and they constantly tried to die in stupid ways.
He was several times this close to losing his eye or his balls because handling Izu was like trying to hug a rabid monkey. She was far more respectful with Tobirama, the brat. The White Demon said she inherited her wild energy from him, but in his opinion, it was something from the Senju side. It was too much akin to Hashirama not to.
At least, Hashirama’s boy started to be wary of him as he grew. At first, the child was absolutely fearless and couldn't stop grabbing his clothes with his sticky hands and shouting "Uncle Mada!" whenever he saw him, but now he had started to show proper respect. And hygiene. Hashirama's girl, on the other hand, followed Izu’s example and tried to eat his hair. His daughter was only glad to teach the toddler her ways.
Through the years, he had to accept that sometimes children just spawned at his home. Most often, they were Hashirama's, but sometimes he spotted Hikaku's or even some random ones he had never seen before.
Inviting his friend over now meant there would also be his kids and, occasionally, Mito. He longed for the times when he and Hashirama would meet one-on-one; now it only happened during their training. If they were lucky.
Today, Hashirama dropped by for dinner with his brood, filling his house with the antics of three children, and it was the most time "alone" he had with his friend in three weeks.
Their feast had ended about ten minutes ago, and everyone was full and sated. Izu and Hashirama's daughter were playing tag, or rather, Izu was running around the room while the little girl chased her on unsteady legs, clapping her hands and laughing. Every time she fell on her butt, Izu ran up and pulled her right back up. They were very loud. Hashirama's boy, on the other hand, was behaving quietly and decently, still trying to sit in a formal seiza, even though he was fidgeting in his seat and looking at the girls with an obvious desire to join in or at least stretch his aching legs, but he kept casting uncertain glances at Madara.
"...saw her trying to throw chopsticks like a senbon. She was even using the right technique! How early did you start her training? " Hashirama inquired. He was holding a cup of hot tea in both hands, enjoying its warmth.
"Not earlier than our fathers began ours," Madara answered lazily.
That was another change. Now, almost all the conversations with his friend were about children.
"But we strive to distance ourselves from the ways of our fathers! Ugh, I held a kunai in my hand before I could walk. Sure, it was a blunt one, but I still don't know how I didn't poke my eye out."
"Maybe you did, and it just grew back."
Hashirama pouted.
"Rude! I'm sure I would have remembered that."
Hashirama's girl made a particularly shrill giggle, followed by Izu's encouraging shouting, and Madara winced. He looked at Kazutaka with a bit of envy. What did he have to do to get himself a dutiful, quiet son?
"Perhaps our fathers did it out of desire for safety. I sealed all my weapons as soon as Izu started crawling, and she still found ways to get shurikens from somewhere. Better to teach her how to handle a weapon sooner, so she wouldn't accidentally kill someone with it. Or herself."
"Hmm," Hashirama rubbed his lower lip. "I see your point... but I don't know if that checks out. Kawarama, my younger brother, cut his cheek with a shuriken while trying to throw it..."
And then Madara made a mistake: he lay on his side, thinking that in the informal setting of his own home he could relax. For Izu, this was a sign of weakness. She lunged at him with her entire body and tried to shake him by his shoulder.
"Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!"
Asking "what?" was a trap, so he stayed silent.
"Dad! Dad! Daaaaaaaaaaad! I can throw a shuriken!"
"No, she can't!" Kazutaka intervened. "She never hits the mark!"
"But I can still throw it!" She screamed as she climbed and straddled her father’s side.
"It doesn’t count!"
"No, it does!"
"O!" Said Hashirama's girl as she fell on her butt somewhere behind him. Madara could feel as she reached her grabby hands towards his hair, but fortunately, Hashirama intervened before she could touch him.
"Come here, you little flower," he murmured, taking his daughter in his hands as she giggled and babbled some semblances of words.
Even in a million years, Madara wouldn't believe that there would come a time when he would have an all-consuming desire to bring Tobirama home. Pathetic. But the man had this effortless authority with children. They listen to him more often than not. Unless Izu had something really on her mind, like the absolute hatred of having her hair cut (which led to such serious tantrums that Tobirama had to give in), she got along quite well with her mother.
He emerged from his musings when Hashirama's boy suddenly asked:
"Uncle Madara, is it true that you can make a fireball as big as a house?"
"Bigger!" Izu butt in.
"No way!"
"Daaad, show him the fireball!”
"No," he said indifferently.
The children cried in despair and in surprising unity.
"Aw, come on," Hashirama nudged him with his knee. "Show off a little."
"If I show off, there won't be half of Konoha."
"Show off a little less?"
"Absolutely not."
Hashirama laughed.
Madara allowed himself a tiny smile... and then his daughter stopped shaking him for attention, and bit his ear. She growled like a wild animal, sincerely trying to rip it out with the meat. If it weren't for the rush of chakra to the place, she might have even succeeded, but as it was, all Madara felt was annoying tugging. She couldn't even bite through his skin.
Kazutaka rose to his knees, and Hashirama gasped:
"Izu! Your dad is not a chew toy!"
He lowered his toddler to the floor and grabbed Izu by her sides, but instead of yanking her, he began tickling the kid. Izu squirmed in his arms with muffled giggles until it became too much for her and she released her father's poor ear.
"Aw, Izu, what would my poor overworked little brother, your dearly loved brilliant father, say, seeing this?"
"Get him!" Izu exclaimed through giggles.
Madara frowned and glared at his daughter.
"Is he egging you on?"
She shook her head, hiding her face and laughing more.
"Kazu, Izu," Hashirama called, putting the girl to her feet. "Let's play a game! I hid three bananas in the garden. Take Ajisai, and if you find all of them, you will eat as many dango as you want tomorrow."
That got everyone excited, even the toddler, who didn't know what was going on.
At least, Hashirama didn't offer money as a reward this time.
"When did you hide the bananas?" Madara asked when the children were gone. He could hear them enthusiastically turning every rock over and shouting at each other.
"I never did," Hashirama said, innocently sipping his tea.
Madara snorted.
"And Tobirama calls me cruel."
"Hey, I just want to live! Tobi and Mito would have my head if I let the kids eat as many sweets as they want. Again."
Madara snorted and rolled over onto his back. He touched his swollen, red ear and winced.
“Damn it, Izu." He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Sometimes I think she wants to kill me.”
“Are you kidding me?! She adores you! She wants to be a mini-you!” Hashirama objected immediately.
Madara rolled his eyes and looked at his friend.
"Didn't you see what she just did? The girl has no respect for me."
"She just wants your attention! You know. Because she loves you. She wants to know you love her back."
Madara huffed.
"Weren’t you listening to Tobirama? Uchiha's love is a curse."
Hashirama lay down beside Madara, deciding they would be floor-dwelling together.
"Don't listen to Tobi," he said quietly. "He wants to find logic and reason in what he feels, and emotions... are not that."
"And what he feels is hate."
"He feels fear." Hashirama paused for two seconds. "Don't tell him I said that."
"Ha."
"We were at war. He tries to reforge himself for peace, but he still fears Uchiha would take everything dear to him away. Tobi is brave, very brave. He doesn't react to fear by hiding; he answers with action. And I think he still didn't forgive you for... um. Anyway, he is trying to be better now. "
"Forgive me for what?"
"Oh, it's silly. Nothing even."
"Spit it out, Hashirama."
"Oh, no, no, no, truly, never mind."
"Hashirama."
"Um... Well... Do you remember me almost slicing my own belly at your command? For that."
Madara turned his head to look at the ceiling again.
"Huh." In his head, it was always a moment between him and Hashirama. But Tobirama was not just a bystander, was he? If his friend ordered Izuna to kill himself or him, and his brother took out the kunai, even if Izuna survived, he would have never looked at Hashirama without hate. Madara glanced at his friend. "Are you trying to warm me up to your brother?"
His friend answered him with a smile that was stuck between sheepish and smug.
"Well, you are raising a kid together, and he sleeps in your house every other night. I think it's time."
"Bah! What we have is just fine."
They stayed silent for a few seconds, listening to the kids destroying his garden.
"Madara..." Hashirama's voice sounded unusually tranquil. "I have a selfish desire."
"Mmm? Did you finally decide to spend Konoha's entire budget on gambling?"
Hashirama chuckled.
"Okay, I have many selfish desires, but this one is special. I really-really want it to happen, and now I feel like it could be almost a reality." Hashirama raised himself on his elbow to look directly into his friend's face. "As a leader, I can't put Tobirama above anyone else. He is a shinobi under my command first and a brother last. It is painful, but it is fair to the people I’m responsible for. I have to send him on dangerous missions, not because I want to, but because he is the best suited for the job. All I can do is believe in his skill, hoping he will return home alive." Hashirama's eyes were intense on him. "But you are not under such obligations. You can protect and take care of him where I can't."
The weight of his trust and hope was suffocating. Madara turned away, incapable of bearing it. He was always an answer to his friend's turmoil.
"Hashirama..." Madara breathed out. He knew he would break his friend's heart with his next words. "I will never fall in love with him. There will always be my brother's death between us."
He couldn't look him in the eyes.
Hashirama lay down slowly, all deflated.
"I know. That's why it's selfish."
There were three seconds of heavy silence between them before they heard a loud splash into the water and cries from the garden.
"Kazu!" Hashirama shouted, immediately jumping to his feet. Madara remained lying down and slowly closed his eyes.
What he was sure of was that he wouldn't move from this spot until Tobirama arrived and took those monkeys under control.