Chapter Text
Ram walked down the bridal aisle, her gown of white with a red streak at the bottom. Her lovely man was standing right there. Smiling at him, Ram walked ahead, took each step with the most feminine grace she had ever displayed. It was flashy, it was grand, yet from all the royal guests who had looked at her from both aisles, the only one that mattered was her only man waiting patiently at the end of the aisle. She took the step above, stood at his side, and as she was to say the word to seal it all…
…The sunlight hitting her face had woken Ram up. She procured a small smile after reaching into her gown and finding the red string that they had bought on their last date a week ago.. It didn’t cost much, but it was affordable enough for the maid who had never spent a single coin of her earnings, ever, especially when split with her stupid sweetheart. There was no need for any personal purchase before, and she was glad there was not; this was their first purchase together for themselves, and they each had one. It was a foolish decision on his part, but it was still memorable, and she will defend it for life.
She sighed in disappointment again, remembering the dream. It was perfect; everything was going well. She was deeply in love and was finally getting married… to her dear Barusu. The lovely strategist of the Emilia Camp, the slayer of the three beasts, the prodigious mage, and the man who had courted her. Sure, he was rather idiotic and spoke unintelligible nonsense at times, and her sister did try to kill him at first due to a misconception. It does sound bad, and how they had only bantered for a year, and they had been together for ten of those months, but Ram could not imagine anyone else to have a family with. Despite all her banter, she was not letting anyone steal her man.
Why was the greatest moment of her life a mere dream? Ram groaned softly, sighing yet again.
Tch, stupid Barusu. You pervert, absolute mabeast. Do you intend to wait for Ram’s corpse before proposing a marriage?
Ram had gotten out of her bed, which was a little more to the left than she remembered, but she shrugged that off, not paying heed to minuscule differences. She had her string, she had Barusu, and the light entering her room had told her it was a bright sunny day…
…Too sunny…
…Fuck.
Ram had awoken late for her duties. The maid had quickly placed the string on the table, and had opened her closet to grab her uniform immediately, and noticed the shelf was one uniform short, despite its hanger being present, but merely groaned and did not pay it any further attention. Ram was already late, Barusu must be waiting patiently for her lovely Tatoe salad. Ram had grabbed a spare uniform and had hastily dressed into it, tied the ring around her pinky finger, and made her way to the dining hall, as she could hear everyone’s chatter.
“Ram apologies for her delay, everyone. A good maid needs her rest after all.” The oni maid looks down as she enters, embarrassed, but does her best to hide it. The chatter diminishes at Ram’s appearance, and an eerie silence enters the location. Were people really that upset by her delay? This was not even the first time-
She understands as she turns her head up, to find the shocked, confused faces of everyone, Barusu, Beatrice, Lord Roswal, Emilia, and… herself?
“Sissy, have you dyed your hair to match Ram’s beautiful red hair? While I am honoured, I believe this is bound to—”
“And just who do you think you are calling Sissy, you impostor?” The resident Ram, who was not her sister, interrupts Ram herself, flabbergasting her.
“An impostor? Has the od gone mad? The only fake here is yourself, as I am Ram, as I always have been.” Ram responds, and it is now the turn of the impostor’s flabbers to be gasted. Ram knows this may not be a real phrase, but kindly asks you to shut your insolent mouth up, dear reader.
The resident Ram speaks up again, her frustration growing, “Ram has been Ram all her life as well, so it is easy to assume that you are lying. Honestly, if you wish to take over Ram's identity, you need to be less obvious.”
Ram's right eyebrow was promptly raised, and her lips protruded, yet the words never quite came out. Were there even words to get out in the first place?
“Emilia-sama,” the resident Ram, who was definitely the impostor (Ram was sure of it, dagnabbit.) broke the silence Ram herself had created, “As you can see, the impostor here is no longer able to speak those deceiving words from those cute lips that she had done rather well to replicate. Ram is truly flattered, but your lies end here, and this is about the time you should be out with your true motives.” Ram said as she ate the tatoe salad that she had masterfully forgotten to season like it was an ordinary day, while the table around her stood in the silence of a witch cult massacre.
Ram, at this point, heightened her guard. Her eyebrows raised as she tilted her head to make sense of this upside-down situation. “This does not make any sense. Me, the impostor? Come on, everyone, surely you cannot—”
Oh yes, they can. Those familiar eyes, the ones that she had enjoyed seeing every day, were now swinging between her and the impostor, and the look that was being given her was not one of certainty. Her chest thumped faster, as the only sound to come out of her mouth was the hesitant breaths of air. The only solace that Ram had here was that Rem was not in this room to confuse her with someone else.
Is this just a horrid dream, or has the Od truly lost its mind?
Subaru was, naturally, shocked at the second nee-sama in their presence. They sound alike and behave similarly. Was she just a clone of Ram? Is such a thing even possible in this world? A lot was possible. Before he could say anything, however—
“Barusu, please do something. I dislike the current situation. Surely you must know what is going on, right? Is this one of your pranks? Another one of your magical experiments where you somehow discovered a way to create another me this time?”
“Wait, hold on, magical experiments? Nee-sama, what are you—”
“Nee-sama…?” Ram took a moment to process that, then her eyes widened, “NEE-SAMA!!?!?” Ram clenched her hair and groaned hard as she fell on the floor. “Hk… THE OD HAS, VERY MUCH IN FACT, LOST ME. FOR I HAVE BEEN CURSED!”
She looked at everyone with her widened red eyes, “This is truly a nightmare. My dear Barusu, the one that Ram herself saved in the capital’s alleyway a year ago from those thugs, CALLED RAM NEE-SAMA! Nothing is right in this world, when everything was fine yesterday.” Ram sulked into herself more, curling up as she lowered her head onto her thighs, and groaned.
“Tch, as you can see here,” the impostor Ram, who had eaten the unseasoned tatoe salad while watching Ram have a breakdown, spoke. “I am the real one. As you can tell from her inability to comprehend the fact that Barusu called Ram nee-sama, and secondly, her inability to remember facts correctly. Ram had not met Barusu in an alleyway where she had to save him, but he was already unconscious in the loathsome house by the time she had first laid eyes on the sorry knight.”
Everyone, except Subaru, who was deep in thought, slowly chewing the unseasoned tatoe salad, nodded at the impostor, accepting her reasoning as evidence for her truth, while they looked at the resident Ram with some pity. The resident Ram at this point scrunched her nose and squinted her eyes.
“Hk—Knight? What is going on? Barusu is no knight; he is a mage. The most revolutionary the world has ever seen.”
“And that is another point against you. You spread lie after lie, is your head truly in the ok?”
Before Ram could speak any further, Subaru interjected, “So, Ram. You have said a lot that does not make sense, but how did you know about me being in an alley? I mean, I was attacked by thugs, but it was Em- Reinhard who had saved me on that day. What do you think happened?”
“Barusu, I suppose—”
“Nee-sama.” Subaru stops the resident Ram. “I believe you, I do. But I want to hear her out. I believe that I have an idea of what might be the case here; I just need to confirm it.”
Ram’s eyes widen, but now with hope instead of shock. Her Barusu was giving her a chance.
And so she spoke. “That day is a rather unforgettable one for Ram. On that day, Felt stole Emilia’s insignia, and thus they ran after the blonde to-be-royal. They found an alleyway, where Ram found Barusu being mugged by what he calls the TonChinKan trio. She decides to stay back while Emilia and Puck chase after Felt, and so both parties achieve their goals. I saved you, Barusu. And Emilia found her insignia. We later discovered the bowel hunter out in the slums, who was to be Felt’s client, and we survived that day due to Barusu’s quick thinking and Reinhard being present to save the day, who then saw the insignia glow on Felt’s touch, and discovered the final candidate, while we decided to bring you to the mansion as you had nowhere else to go, with you feeling particularly indebted to me, Barusu. After that, as you say, the rest is history.” Ram smiled, thinking of that interesting day, when her life had changed for the better.
The crowd looked at the smiling Ram with no hesitation. You did not need the divine protection of wind reading to believe she spoke the truth, even though her words were completely utter lunacy.
Subaru, however, simply smiled. “Alright. I see. I trust you, Ram, even though I did not experience those events myself; I believe that these events have truly happened. None of you Rams are an impostor, even if you aren’t our Ram.”
Emilia looked at her knight with confusion, and Subaru simply chuckled. “Allow me to explain to you what the multiverse is.”
Ram was invited to sit along with the resident Ram after Subaru had explained. Wow, this tatoe salad was unseasoned. Tasted exactly how she would have made it a year ago, but unfortunately, Barusu really forced her to improve her culinary repertoire, after all, her Barusu couldn’t be fed the worst meals by a woman who was to be his wife. Now Ram can make a total of six dishes! That is what you can call character development.
Speaking of developments, Barusu had arrived at a breakthrough, as expected of her sweetheart. Ram shall not bore you with the details. Ram and the resident Ram were both real, and Ram herself was not from here. Ram was from another world, according to Barusu’s words. Something about how every decision we make splits the world into a world where we make a different choice. All in all, Ram was in a world where the choices they made were different compared to the choices they made in her own.
And exactly on the day she had intended to get engaged to her beloved, Ram had woken up in a world where Barusu did not choose to love her. The od really should grant itself the divine protection of humour because this situation was not at all funny.
“So, Cap’n,” Garfiel of all existing life chose to speak after Barusu. “This Ram ain’t our Ram. But she’s still Ram?” The blonde boy asked to affirm, to which Barusu simply nodded.
“Well then, if you are still Ram,” Emilia speaks, shifting her gaze to Ram directly, “then I suppose there’s no harm here, right?” She moves with hesitation.
“Well, Ram intends no harm here to you or anyone in this camp. Harming you would be too much effort, which could be spent on making Pozzas for you people. It is, of course, the greatest dish Ram has ever cooked up!” Ram closes her eyes and stands with her fists clenched at her hips, proud of the culinary masterpiece that Barusu had invented, and she had taken the opportunity to perfect it by adding some salt! The resident Ram simply glared at her version from another world.
“Pozzas?” Barusu asked.
“Barusu, surely you have introduced your cuisine to this camp?”
Barusu simply looked at Ram with the face of a ground dragon running out of breath.
“Barusss… Baru,” Ram corrected herself, to the theatric gaping mouths of the others who had witnessed a blasphemy not realised in 400 years, (What? He wasn’t her man, this Ba-Baru was not her Barusu, and her Barusu was the only Barusu in the infinity of Baru that exists,) “Surely, you have?” Ram had added, just to ensure if this Baru was not in fact messing around with that stupidly handsome face of his.
The great spirit pouted, “Betty wants to know, Subaru. What is a Pozza?”
“Oh my…” Ram sighed.
“Hey! I taught you people about Mayo!” Subaru argued his case.
“A Mayo is a mere side dish meant to be consumed with Tatoe Tots.” Ram shot the man down.
“AND WHY has Betty never learnt what these Tatoe Tots are, my dear contractor!” The little drill loli made an angrier face, and as Subaru fluttered in his words, he was unable to provide any response.
Unable to provide a satisfactory answer, Baru turned to the ceiling, “Wow, nee-sama.” Ram’s heart was pinched yet again by the way the man with the face of her beloved had referred to her alternate self, but that was a discussion for later: “The unseasoned Tatoe Salad tastes especially good today.” He said as he got up, totally not in haste. “Hey Beatrice, let's go, I have a lot of things to discuss with you!” The spirit sighed and stared at her contractor with the cutest look of disdain one could imagine. As she got up with Subaru, they began to make their leave.
“Barusu, that was a rather pathetic attempt at dodging your accusations. Do not believe that attempting to shower absolutely correct praises on Ram saves you from the revelations given by her other self.”
“Nee-sama,” Ram’s heart is stabbed yet again, “I– uh– ummmm—” Baru stutters trying to think of what to say, but ultimately the words would never come out of that mouth.
The original Ram smirked and decided to add on to the misery, “Tch, lecherous Barusu. Was it not enough to ogle at Ram’s beautiful body that your perverted brain decided to bring in another? Do you really require two Rams to satisfy your lecherous gazes?” Ram spoke dramatically, placing her arms around herself.
Baru hastens up as his body shivers, his face flushed from anger and not from teasing, groaning like a baby, gripping Beatrice’s palm, quickly turning the upper half of his body towards the original Ram, pointing his pinky finger at her. “OH, PARDON ME THAT REALITY WENT IN A DIFFERENT ENOUGH DIRECTION THAT I FORGOT TO INTRODUCE THE CONCEPT OF A FLATBREAD WITH MATOES AND CHEESE ON THEM.” Frederica seemed very intrigued by the concept, and little Petra was audibly excited to see what it was.
He took a step back towards the dining table, and his hand moved to Ram herself. “AND YOU…” he lowered his hand and sighed. His eyes had grown sharper. “Your circumstances, based on what you said, seem not to have happened to you before, so we’re all in unknown territory. In the meantime, do you need anything, Nee-sama?” Subaru asked with innocence.
Ram’s heart cannot run anymore, being punctured by Baru so much. Her arm had clenched her heart as the fury flooded her brain, “Firstly, Baru, do not under any circumstances call me… that. I am not your… that, and you are not my Barusu. So you are Baru, and I am Ram. It is as simple as that, period. Helps you to distinguish Ram from the resident Ram.”
Baru slowly nodded after an awkward pause. Subaru looked a little confused about the current situation, but went along with it. He wonders if–
“Number TWO,” Ram speaks before Baru can finish that thought. “There is also Ram’s predicament to consider. As you understand, I cannot stay here for too long. You have your own Ram, and Ram has her own universe to get back to.” Ram takes a gulp.
“Being the unmediocre mage that you are, could you help figure out how to send me back to my world. I need to go back to my Barusu instead of a mere imitation.”
The resident Ram looked at Ram with a sceptical look, “Your, ‘Barusu’?” Baru was also stuck on this aspect, completely forgoing interest in the mention of a mage.
“Indeed, my Barusu. The man Ram has been courting for over a year now.” Ram spoke as if it were the most natural thing in the world; her smile had widened.
A loud silence enveloped the Emilia camp. Subaru simply smiled at Ram, who returned it without issue.
Subaru’s smile had faltered the moment he realised what was said. The resident Ram had simply stared at the alternate version of herself with a strong denial to comprehend those words. But denial does not change the truth.
Both their faces went red as the Emilia camp had finally comprehended how vast the multiverse could be, with loud, maddening voices echoing around Ram, which can be summed up into one simple word.
“NANI?!?!?!”