Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kuroo is in way over his head.

He didn’t think two weeks away from Kenma would affect him this much, but it would be a lie if he said he hadn’t been clenching his thighs this whole time he’s been here. Kuroo just got back from a promo following the Black Jackles on their latest winning streak. The Japanese Volleyball Association sent him instead of a senior employee because they hoped Kuroo’s past playing with some of the team would energise them for the press. 

He is especially pleased to be back with Kenma in Tokyo after being berated by the likes of Miya Atsumu and Shoyo Hinata. Don’t get it wrong, they’re both amazing athletes; Kuroo just isn't sure he can listen to any more high-pitched screaming for the time being. The busy sounds of the city alone are more than enough for him.

Kenma stands up from the sofa where the two have been watching the Adlers game and wanders into the kitchen. Kuroo hears a cabinet open before the squeal of a chair being dragged across the tile floor. Go figure, Kenma would rather put himself into a coma than ever ask for help reaching the top shelf. 

“Y’know, you could just ask me,” Kuroo comments as he walks into the kitchen, reaching to the top shelf where Kenma’s bottle opener is. “I’ve been here half an hour and you’re drinking already? Wow, you must have gotten used to living alone while I was away.”

“I’m opening a soda, so save it,” Kemna gives a slight smirk in Kuroo’s direction, “Although now that you mention it, alcohol does seem like a good way to put up with your antics.”

That line was a total joke, but Kuroo can't help but imagine a tipsy Kenma. His mind floats there for a second before he notices that Kenma’s already halfway back to the TV. They’ve been roommates for a while now, just under a year, but with Kuroo traveling for work all the time, Kenma’s pretty much got the whole place to himself. It might be a slight blessing for Kuroo, considering how difficult it’s been getting control of himself around Kenma lately. 

They’ve been best friends since high school, so naturally, they share a love for each other; It’s just that over the years, Kuroo’s love has gotten stronger, to say the least. He glances over to his best friend sitting next to him, noticing he’s biting his bottom lip in concentration on the game. He does the same thing when he’s really focused on a video game. Kuroo occasionally watches his streams while out of town just to watch the tiny webcam footage in the corner, although the habit does make him feel like a perv. 

He can’t help but wonder how soft those lips are.

The game’s already over by the time the two separate to get ready for bed. Kuroo’s only been back for a day, Kenma just picked him up from the train station this morning, but he’s already starting to feel overwhelmed with his emotions. It’s love, it's desire, it’s admiration, but most begrudgingly, it’s lust. He has no idea why or when any of these feelings started, but over time, he hasn’t been able to deny it anymore. Kuroo wants Kenma so desperately, but could he really risk their friendship by confessing that? 

He keeps combing through the options in his head while he hops into the shower, turning the knob all the way to the hot side, steaming up his mirror and the glass wall of the shower. God, he can just imagine Kenma’s hands making prints in the condensation, grasping at nothing, at anything, while he– Against every reasonable thought in his head, Kuroo wraps a hand around his cock, feeling it grow increasingly hard as he lets his imagination run free. 

Pumping his hand around himself, all he can do is whimper, desperate attempts at not moaning Kenma’s name. With one arm extended above him, resting on the cold tile for balance, he quickens the pace. He’s desperate, aching for Kenma; he can't help but wonder what he’d do if he happened to stumble in on this scene. What if he heard Kuroo say his name? What if he wanted to…

His fantasy abruptly came to a halt as Kuroo went past the point of no return, cock jumping in his hand, and spilling all over himself. If creepily watching Kenma’s gaming streams isn’t pervy, well, this definitely is. With a wave of guilt, Kuroo quickly finishes his shower and steps out into the hall, towel hanging precariously around his waist. He struts back to his room as if he weren’t single-handedly, no pun intended, having the year's greatest fuck-fest in his head. He knocks on Kenma’s door and says goodnight, hearing what he assumes is “goodnight Kuro” muffled through the door. 

The next days repeat the same. Kuroo got the week off since he’d pretty much been working overtime for two. Kenma is just so cute to Kuroo. Despite having a major hot guy glow up during college, he’ll always be the same dork who’d rant to him about the latest Nintendo game on the way to school. He’s got every quality you’d want in a man: handsome, toned, smart, he knows how to let loose sometimes, and he even has a few tattoos. Nonetheless, neither of them has ever been with a man. Kuroo had fan girls in his teenage years that he’d date, but nothing was ever serious. 

That’s why Kuroo’s been so nervous lately. Even if Kenma did reciprocate, what happens next? Obviously, Kuroo can’t just pull him into bed with him; that’s not all he wants from this, but how do you date another man? He’s been a clumsy, babbling mess around Kenma that he’s never been before. The other day, he tried to smoothly pass him a bowl of noodles, but it ended up all over his lap instead. Another time, he dropped three of their nice ceramic plates just because Kenma gasped at a video he was watching. 

Oh god, how is he gonna survive?

Kenma hopped on a live stream just over an hour ago, so Kuroo has free time to kill for the next few hours. He grabs his keys and wallet before heading out the door to make his way to the market down the street. He does his usual grocery shopping, along with a few new plates that are gonna make a dent in his wallet, before finishing up and stopping by the pharmacy on the way home. Springtime always has Kenma’s eyes watering from all of the pollen, and Kuroo remembers the eye drop brand he uses. It’s the least he can do for acting so dittsy right now. 

He’s waiting behind a couple in line at the checkout counter when a display catches the corner of his eye. In deep purple, it reads ENHANCE YOUR PLEASURE and is lined top to bottom with different condoms and lubes. The people in front of him are having an issue with their credit card, and it’s holding up the line. The seconds tick by, and his eyes keep flicking to that display and its not-so-discrete advertising. With a defeated eye roll, Kuroo picks up one of the boxes and a bottle of lube that’s probably too big for the use it won’t be getting. Better safe than sorry, right?

Back at the apartment, Kuroo is putting the groceries away in the kitchen when he hears Kenma’s office door open. He walks into the kitchen with his hands rubbing at his eyes.

 “You off the stream already?” Kuroo questions, “That was quick.”

“I couldn’t keep staring at the screen. My eyes are burning.”

“Oh, I picked up your eyedrops. They’re in that bag over there.” Kuroo says, pointing to the bag from the pharmacy. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion as he realized what else was hiding in that bag. Before Kuroo can stop him, Kenma reaches in and pulls out the bottle of lube. He stands there, blank-faced, just staring at the bottle for a few seconds. Kuroo opens his mouth to say something, anything, but he’s cut off by Kenma’s voice.

“Three hundred millilitres?” Kenma glances judgmentally at his roommate, “Got a big date planned or something?”

Kuroo’s brain has shut down; all he can respond with is an amalgamation of, “uh, well n– er, I just– uh-”

“Chill, Kuro, we’re adults. I don’t care that you have adult relationships.” With that, Kenma grabs his eye drops and lulls back to his room, eyes downcast on the floor. Kuroo couldn't help notice the red creeping its way to the tips of his ears as he walked past. So, he is flustered, despite the lack of enthusiasm in his reaction. He’s in his head about it until he remembers the last statement. Kenma doesn’t care who Kuroo’s sleeping with. That doesn’t seem like something you’d say if you were interested in someone that way. Besides, anyone would blush after accidentally seeing their best friend's eleven-ounce bottle of lube. What an idiot. 

After finishing the groceries, he grabs the pharmacy bag and heads to his room. He throws the bag into the top drawer of his nightstand and collapses into bed. What an awkward interaction. It might have only just happened, but Kuroo has already played it over dozens of times in his head. He can't decide which is worse: that Kenma is entirely uninterested in Kuroo’s so-called love life, or that Kuroo bought the items in hopes of getting use out of them with his best friend. How embarrassing. He hopelessly tries to make sense of the interaction and tries desperately to convince himself it doesn't have to be awkward. 

After dozing off for who knows how long, he’s woken up by a knock on his door. “Kuro, I’m hungry,” Kenma shouts, “did you pick us up anything to eat?”

Kuroo pushes himself up to get the door. He opens it and finds Kenma playing a game on his phone, wearing something strangely familiar. 

“Uh, Kenma? Is that my hoodie?” Kuroo asks, pointing down at the very oversized hoodie that drapes around him like a blanket.

“I took it while you were gone,” Kenma nods, quickly returning to the conversation at hand. “I’m hungry. Did you get anything quick?”

“Other than instant ramen, no.” He says, still looking down at the sweatshirt. God, he looks so cute wearing Kuroo’s clothes. It hangs down to just above his knees, and he has to bunch up the sleeves to poke his hands out. He never noticed how much smaller he was. Kuroo knew he was tall and not to mention decently muscular, but for once, Kenma was being directly compared to him. The thought of their size difference and how perfectly Kenma would fit under him snapped into Kuroo’s head. 

Kuroo slams his door shut with Kenma still in the hall. He did it quickly enough to stop Kenma from seeing the rising boner in his pants, but not discreetly enough to prevent any suspicion. He has no idea how he’s going to make it through to his next business trip if even the thought of Kenma does this to him. He stands there for a second contemplating his next move until he hears Kenma on the other side of the door, curiously asking if he wants to go out to dinner. 

After giving himself time to calm down and throwing on a looser, less revealing pair of pants, the two are walking through Tokyo towards a new spot that Kuroo heard about while working with the MSBY team. He’s telling Kenma about Onigiri Miya, and how Miya Atsumu recommended it as it’s his brother's restaurant. As they walked and talked, Kenma mentioned how Kuroo seemed to have really gotten along with Miya and asked if they kept in touch. They arrived at the restaurant as Kuroo explained how they shared contact info, and how Miya should be visiting Tokyo soon. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kenma’s eyes widen briefly as if he realised something, but before he could ask, they were greeted by a host.

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya! Will there be two of you?” As the young lady takes them to a table, Kuroo can’t help but notice how nice the restaurant is. It’s not necessarily fine dining, but it's clean and homely, and the bar has an open view into the kitchen. A waitress comes over to take their orders, and for a brief moment, everything feels normal again. The two of them go out regularly. They’re always too busy to cook or just too tired after working all day, so dining out has become a regular de-stressor. 

They sit talking about this and that, work, TV shows, manga, anything that comes up. It finally feels natural again. Kuroo isn’t in his head about the interaction; he can finally relax and speak to Kenma as his best friend. Not long after they started talking about the new game that Kenma bought, their food was brought out by a familiar face, Miya Osamu. He looked the same as when he was playing for Inarizaki, just with a few more fine lines. Kuroo almost shivered at how identical he and Atsumu still look. It would be hard to tell them apart without the hair. 

“He-ey, Kuroo n’ Kozume, it’s been a while, eh?” Osamu says with the excitement of a dad at his kid's birthday party. The starch difference in the twins' personalities is astounding. 

“Ah, Miya!” Kuroo realises he’d been staring too long, “Good to see you, off the court that is.” 

They all share pleasantries and catch up for a few minutes before Osamu switches the topic of conversation. “And Kuroo, I heard about your last business trip. Sounds like you and my brother had a good time, eh?” He laughs while nudging Kuroo with an elbow, the type of body language you’d use to hint at something.

Kuroo cringes at the poor phrasing of the comment and looks across the table to see Kenma’s face, which unsurprisingly has one distinct thought behind it: Kuro is sleeping with Miya Atsumu. For god’s sake, Kuroo almost wondered if something had happened between them. For a brief moment, when Kuroo’s eyes locked onto Kenma, he could have sworn he looked… sad. Just as fast, it turned to pure shock before Kuroo could process it. 

“Ah- Oh, it was good to see the team!” Kuroo starts to back track, “And I did have fun, we got to play a few sets together, haha!” At this point, he’s laughing so nervously, trying to get Kenma to realise it was a misunderstanding, that it sounds more like a cover-up and a redirect than anything else. God damnit, Kenma definitely thinks something happened on his work trip. He definitely thinks it’s still happening. Before he can get anything else out, Osamu insists that drinks are on him tonight and calls on a server to bring beers over to the three. 

Osamu keeps rambling on about the restaurant and his life after moving to Tokyo. Kuroo can’t possibly back track now. He admits defeat and rejoins the conversation. They spend a while longer asking about the restaurant and the menu. Another round of drinks later, Osamu gets called back to the kitchen because of a rush. Before Kuroo has a moment alone with Kenma, the server comes back over to ask if they’d like anything else to drink.

“I'll do a double vodka soda,” Kenma says without taking his eyes off the table. 

“Of course, and for you, sir?” Kuroo’s staring at Kenma so hard he nearly misses when the waitress says this. 

“Uh, I’m fine for tonight, thank you,” he says after an awkward amount of time. She takes their empty glasses and heads back behind the bar. Kuroo is so confused by Kenma’s request that he almost doesn’t know what to say. It’s not that a vodka soda is an outlandish order or anything, but Kenma is usually a one-beer-is-plenty type of person. If anything, he’d get a fruity drink that hides the taste of alcohol completely. And a double? Kuroo knows Kenma well enough to know that he doesn't drink enough to have the tolerance for that after already having two pints. Is this because of Osamu’s comment?

“Uh, Kenma,” Kuroo says nervously, “don’t you think that might be overdoing it?”

“Miya says it’s on the house,” he leans his head back against the cushioned booth, “might as well take him up on the offer, right?” Kenma’s eyes are averting from Kuroo like he’s a kid throwing a tantrum. From this angle, the lights are bright enough on his face for Kuroo to see how red he is. It could be from the alcohol, but Kuroo can't help but feel like it’s more emotion-driven than anything. 

The waitress comes back over with Kenma’s drink and sets a glass of water in front of Kuroo. She asks if they’d like anything for dessert, which prompts Kenma to look at Kuroo for the first time in minutes. They quickly decide on the mochi dish that Osamu recommended, which is supposed to be shaped like an onigiri, so as not to disturb the theme, or whatever. Kenma starts making his way through his new drink once the waitress leaves, and to Kuroo’s surprise, it’s gone by the time the dessert comes out. 

Naturally, or unnaturally, he ordered another one with dessert.

Walking back to their apartment was a collaborative effort between Kuroo and his weight-lifting routine to get Kenma there in one piece. He can’t tell if this side of Kenma is endearing or saddening, considering why he chose to drink this much. What Kuroo does know is that being at the restaurant so late has him tired and tipsy. Osamu prolonged their visit longer than planned, and the sun had already set while they were in the restaurant. After a combination of pulling, dragging, and carrying, Kuroo managed to get Kenma into their apartment physically unscathed. 

He guided him into Kenma’s bathroom and sat him down on a stool that he grabbed from the kitchen. Kenma was nearly falling asleep right there while Kuroo tried desperately to comb out any knots that formed on their way here. After tying Kenma’s hair back into a bun, Kuroo grabbed a few tissues from the counter and started wiping the tear streaks off of Kenma’s face. Oh yeah, Kenma began crying on the way home. Kuroo usually thinks that the thin line of what he calls “guy-liner” is attractive, but right now it's more of a nuisance, leaving watery gray streaks down his red and puffy little face. 

“Kenma, you need to hold still,” Kuroo’s voice is soft as he cleans off Kenma’s under eyes. “I don’t wanna scratch you. I’m gonna clean off your eyes now.” Kenma finally stops trying to move his face away and closes his eyes. As Kuroo is wiping the smudgy black mess from his best friend's face, he remembers what got them here in the first place. Kenma thinks he and Miya Atsumu are involved with each other. Even the hypothetical thought makes Kuroo wince. Atsumu’s a good-looking guy, but with Kuroo? He can’t see himself with anyone besides Kenma. For that reason alone, Kuroo blurts out his next line. 

“I’m not sleeping with Miya.” He says before realising he could have started better. “I don’t know why Osamu had to word it like that, but I’m not interested in any of that.” Although Kenma didn’t say anything, he did stop crying. He helped him change into comfortable and clean clothes, made sure he brushed his teeth, and practically carried him back to his bed. After making sure Kenma was comfortable, he stood to take his leave. Before he could step away from the bed, Kuroo felt the warmth of a hand over his own. 

“Mh, Kuro,” Kenma breathed out, “Just stay, okay?

“You need to go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning.” The words Kuroo spoke in that moment didn’t line up with his actions, as he turned around and knelt down by his friend. He let out a sigh and squeezed Kenma’s hand. He didn’t have words; that’s all he could do to let him know he was there. Kenma’s golden eyes kept fluttering open and shut at every breath he took, trying to stay awake despite being so drunk and tired. 

“Kuro,” Kenma mumbles dazidly, “please don’t ever be with other people.” Kuroo furrows his brow for a moment, confused by the words that were said. Don’t be with other people? “Please stay, Kuro, I don't want you to leave me.” He says even more slurred than before, though he slides further back in bed, making a feeble attempt at pulling Kuroo in with him. 

Kuroo’s mind goes blank for a good minute as Kenma mumbles what sounds like he’s trying to say Kuro. He has no idea what to do. It sounds as if Kenma is saying that he wants Kuroo, that no one else can have him. Could his feelings really be reciprocated? From everything going on tonight to the way he told Kuroo he doesn’t want him with other people, and the way he’s physically trying to pull Kuroo into bed with him, it seems more than likely. Even if Kenma does feel this for Kuroo, would it be wrong to stay with how drunk he is? Kuroo just doesn’t know how to process it. 

“Tetsuro.”

His first name. 

“Tetsuro, please.”

Kenma never uses his first name.

“Tetsuro, lie down.”

That was the last wire in Kuroo’s brain still working right, and Kenma just cut it. Without another word, Kuroo slid into bed next to his best friend. Kenma took full advantage of the proximity and pulled himself in closer, draping his arm on Kuroo’s chest and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Kuroo didn’t detest, moving to hold Kenma even tighter in his arms. Kuroo hadn’t drunk too much; nonetheless, his head was feeling fuzzy. Kuroo looked down at Kenma, wrapped up tightly in his arms, and was surprised to see his eyes still awake and staring back at him. 

He traced his hand up Kenma’s back and started playing with his hair. He wasn’t thinking anymore. He was just moving in whatever way felt most natural. Kenma’s eyes fluttered again as he tried to push his head further into Kuroo’s touch. He moved his hand away as Kenma tried to follow it. He let it rest on the young man’s cheek, for just a moment, before Kenma leaned forward towards Kuroo. Kissing Kenma would also feel natural right now, but something in Kuroo moved his hand in front of Kenma’s mouth, stopping him before their lips could meet. 

“You’re too drunk, Kenma. I want to, but I can’t,” Kuroo whispers, seeing how Kenma has already dozed off, and moving his hand back to his hair. “I’ll be here in the morning. We’ll figure it out then.” 

He stared for a moment at Kenma asleep in his arms. He wondered if any of this was real or if he had passed out and started dreaming. He traced the contours of Kenma’s face with his thumb, taking in every curve and crease and detail, grounding himself in the moment. He’s in Kenma’s bed, holding him. Kenma asked him to. In a moment of pure bliss, Kuroo reached his arm behind himself and switched off the table lamp. It’s been a long day. They’ll both need to be clear-headed for tomorrow. 

The morning passed by, and the two were still cuddled up in bed. The sun had already come and gone through the window in Kenma’s bedroom, and Kuroo watched as it rose. He woke up about an hour ago at eleven o’clock. At first, he was too scared to move in case Kenma woke up and didn’t know what was going on, but after a while, he became comfortable. He sat up in bed, scrolling through his phone, while Kenma stayed lying in his lap. His opposite hand went between playing with Kenma’s hair and rubbing his back. This was so peaceful. This felt right.

After another half hour of this, Kenma finally began to stir. Kuroo wasn’t completely sure what to say when he woke up, but he stayed put regardless. In due time, Kenma was finally awoken by the sounds coming from Kuroo’s phone. His heart skipped a beat when he realised he had woken up, worrying that he might not remember asking him to stay last night. Kenma’s arms hesitated from where they were lying on Kuroo’s lap. He quickly rolled over onto his back.

“Kuro,” Kenma started, before pausing for a moment, contemplating his next words. “Kuro, I’m sorry about last night.”

“Sorry? Why would you be sorry?” He says with genuine confusion. 

“Because I overreacted so badly,” he groans, rubbing his face with both hands. “I mean, whose reaction to thinking their best friend is in a relationship is to get shit faced?” 

“Okay, that might have been uncalled for,” Kuroo laughs, “but-”

Kenma quickly sits up from where he’s lying, only half his face visible to Kuroo, and cutting him off as he tries to finish, “You literally had to carry me home,” he says, sounding increasingly more frantic. “You had to get me into bed, and I asked you to stay with me. I literally begged you until you gave in.”

Kenma’s voice gets louder and faster as he’s speaking, frantically trying to repent. He’s rambling about all of the things he did last night as his face gets red and his eyes tear up and he starts to cry. Out of everything Kuroo thought might have happened this morning, Kenma showing this much raw emotion and regret was not on the list. Kenma doesn’t need to feel sorry for any of this. Does he really think Kuroo didn’t want to do all of that for him? He sits there for a few seconds, unsure of what to say, before realizing that he doesn’t have to. With one quick motion, Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s arm and pulled him towards him, wrapping him in his arms.

The action made Kenma start sobbing even harder. Kuroo starts trying to console him, reassuring Kenma that he wanted to help him. He wanted to get him home safely. He wanted to brush his hair and get him changed into comfortable clothes. He wanted to make sure that he brushed his teeth and got to bed. He wanted to make sure he was safe and comfortable. Kenma is lying up against Kuroo’s left side, back facing him, while Kuroo tries to turn him to face him. Kenma’s still crying hard when he finally turns towards Kuroo. He grabs a pillow and shoves it between them before shouting, “After everything you did for me,” his voice cracking from the strain, “I tried to make you kiss me! I’m so fucking stupid.”

Kenma collapses into the pillow that’s now being held in his own lap. His sobs are muffled by the pillow, but Kuroo can still tell what he’s saying. Why would you want to kiss me? That's when it finally hit Kuroo. Kenma practically confessed to Kuroo last night, but he was too preoccupied to confess back. He told Kenma that he wasn’t seeing anyone, but that was the end of that. Kenma is crying because he doesn’t know that Kuroo shares those feelings. That Kuroo loves him. Kuroo forces Kenma’s face away from the pillow as he’s still mumbling nonsense. 

“Would you just shut your pretty little mouth?” Kuroo rolls his eyes, feeling more stupid than he ever has. Kenma’s clearly caught off guard and stops crying. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Kenma just stares at him with pure confusion as Kuroo wipes the tears from his face. Whispering Kenma’s name, Kuroo’s eyes lock with his. His face is so puffy and red. His eyes are still tearing up. His lips quiver at every breath he takes. This is the most disheveled he’s ever looked in front of Kuroo, and at the same time, he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

If the heavens granted him one wish, it would be Kenma. In that very moment, he realizes that being in love doesn’t mean infatuation or admiration. It’s devotion and adoration. To love someone is to worship them as if they are the reason you breathe. To love is to be consumed by your own heart until nothing remains besides its beating. It’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It can be seen in films that were never written. It can be heard in the silence between sentences that are never spoken. It can be read on pages that have yet to be typed. 

The feeling rushes through Kuroo as he looks at Kenma. He feels as if he’s floating and falling at the same time. Regardless of the endless bounds of words filling his head, he speaks none of them. No words would express to Kenma what he so desperately wants to convey. With his hands on either side of Kenma’s face, Kuroo leans forward, connecting their lips for the first time. It’s messy and wet from tears. It’s almost laughable how desperately the two cling to each other as they settle into a comfortable rhythm. 

Kenma’s lips are soft and wet as they’re gently sucking on Kuroo’s. He pushes his hand up into Kenma’s hair, using it to pull him deeper into the kiss. He gasps at the feeling, and Kuroo takes the opportunity to press his tongue into his mouth, which coaxed a breathy moan out of Kenma. He leans back, arms wrapped over Kuroo’s shoulders to pull him down on top of him. They’re incredibly close, and almost every part of their bodies are touching. 

Kenma whines as Kuroo separates from him, nipping at his ear before making his way down to his neck. Kuroo traced his tongue down Kenma’s neck, feeling him shiver beneath him. Kuroo kissed and sucks on Kenma’s neck just above his collarbone, feeling the warmth of his body on his chest. He hears a faint whimper come from Kenma’s lips, before more, more, and more, as he makes his way up his neck, switching through licking and sucking. 

Before Kuroo makes his way back to his lips, he’s stuck with a sudden realization. Kenma isn’t making that much noise just from Kuroo’s kissing. They’ve been pressed together, bodies rubbing against each other, and Kenma feels painfully hard against Kuroo’s stomach. All of their unintentional grinding and Kuroo’s relentless mouth have gotten him to the point where he can't even keep quiet. Kuroo isn’t faring much better himself, but he was ignoring the pressure in his pants in favor of pulling more noises out of Kenma. He hadn’t realized how intense it had gotten until now. 

Kuroo lifted himself off of Kenma, who let out a low groan at the loss of contact, before hovering just above his face. He wanted to keep going, but he had to make sure Kenma was okay. His hand made its way up to his cheek. What was once covered in tears was now flushed bright red and hot. His mouth hung open slightly, panting and allowing room for a soft whine when Kuroo’s eyes met his, almost as if asking him to come back. He’s incredibly flustered as Kuoo’s eyes travel up and down his body, pausing for a second at the quite apparent bulge in his pants. All things considered, this was an eventful first kiss. 

Kuroo finds his bearings and pushes himself off of Kenma. He sits back on his heels, watching as Kenma lets his head lull into the mattress beneath him.

“Y’know, Kuro, most people just say something like I have feelings for you,” Kenma breathes out, still lying down. “But, I guess that works too.”

Kuroo chuckles, taking both of his hands, tugging on him to force him into an upright position. They both seem to be calming down, though they’re both still breathing quite heavily. They sit and stare at each other, saying no words, just taking in each other's presence. After a while, they agree that they should stop before they get too far with their escapade, reiterating that this had been intense for a first kiss. They moved out into the living room, wanting to talk things over. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo gazed at his best friend. “Can I tell you something?”

“You know you can tell me anything.” Kenma’s voice sounds softer, floatier.

“I’m so in love with you.”

Kuroo’s up early for a video call with a big company that the Volleyball Association is partnering with. He leans over to kiss Kenma on the forehead before he rolls out of bed. It’s been two weeks of Kuroo and Kenma’s official relationship. After knowing each other for so long and already living together, they naturally fell into a flow. From an outside perspective, their relationship almost didn’t change. Other than being more physically affectionate, and not to mention sharing a bed, they’ve been going about their lives with nearly identical routines. Who would have thought that dating was really just a title? They’ve practically been dating this whole time. 

Kenma eventually comes to a few minutes past ten. He wanders into the living room, where he sees Kuroo in his meeting. Kuroo rarely has to work from home, so when he does, he just uses the dining table as a temporary desk. By the time that Kuroo leaves the call, Kenma is lying back on the couch, urging him to come cuddle. He rolls his eyes before lying with his head on Kenma’s chest, letting him play with his hair while Kuroo melts into the touch.

“I can't believe you would leave our bed to go speak with another man.” Kenma teases. 

“Oh no, have I been caught?” Kuroo gasps, playing along with the bit while tucking his head into Kenma’s chest, “I thought I was being so smart about it!”

Kenma snorts at Kuroo’s response, “Kuro, I thought you loved me!”

“I do love you,” Kuroo says with his voice deepening, pushing himself up to meet Kenma’s eyes. “I thought we already went over this? I will never be with any other people.” 

Kenma’s words are caught in his thought from the sudden intimacy of the moment. He hopes Kuroo doesn’t notice the blush creeping its way onto his face. He opens his mouth to try to speak, but Kuroo plants a firm kiss on his lips before he can say anything. His hands wrap around bleached blond hair, using it to pull Kenma flat on his back. Kuroo pulls Kenma’s hair to tilt his head back before slipping his tongue inside his mouth. Kenma tries to move, but the position Kuroo is holding him in doesn't allow it, giving Kuroo full access to him. 

Kuroo moves one hand to Kenma’s hips, holding him down as he wriggles under his touch. Kenma’s mouth is warm and wet, and Kuroo wants more. He presses deeper, sucking gently on his lips and tongue. Kenma moans at the feeling of Kuroo licking his mouth, sending chills down his spine, and forcing his attention down to his hard cock. It’s not unbearable, though, when Kenma pulls him down onto him; the friction of their bodies rubbing together makes him worried that that won't be true for much longer.  Kuroo grinds into Kenma, causing them both to moan into each other's mouths. 

They haven’t had sex yet, but god, if you only knew how many times they’d come close. They’ve been moving fast these past two weeks, catching up for all of the years they’ve restricted themselves to “just friends” and never more. Almost every day starts the same. Kuro, come back to bed. And come back he does. Or  Kenma can’t the stream wait just a few minutes. And wait it does. Every interaction is like lightning. As if they’re positive and negatives being pulled together, crashing into one another to create something beautiful. 

Kenma whimpered against Kuroo’s lips, desperately trusting his hips upwards, trying to taste more of that delicious friction. Kuroo’s hands are making their way down Kenma’s body, grabbing at everything that gets a reaction out of him. He grabs Kenma’s thigh, pulling his leg up over his hip. Their new angle is much more exposing. Their dicks are rubbing against each other at any slight movement. Kenma’s voice is getting louder as Kuroo switches focus from his lips to his neck, holding the other side of his face with his free hand. 

Kenma isn’t suppressing anything now, thrusting his hips into Kuroo at a steady pace, and he can’t help but notice that it looks like he’s fucking. Kuroo alternates between biting and sucking on his neck, gently tracing his tongue over the spots he’s already had his way with. Hearing Kenma moan at the feeling, a thought crosses Kuroo’s mind, and without thinking, he moves two of his fingers up to Kenma’s lips, feeling them part at the contact. He curses, shoving two of his fingers into Kenma’s mouth. He melts into Kuroo’s touch, gently sucking on what he’s been given. 

God, Kuroo could easily take him right here, right now, if he so pleases. He desperately wants to, and Kenma would give no pretest, but he wants their first time to be special. On their couch at eleven o'clock in the morning doesn’t exactly scream romantic first time. He stops berating Kenma’s skin with kisses and rests his head, breathing heavily at the side of his neck. He takes his hand back from Kenma, who’s being too good for Kuroo to let him continue. Kenma’s still weakly grinding against him, groaning at the fact that Kuroo stopped.

“We’re getting too carried away,” Kuroo whispers into Kenma’s ear.

“Mhmph, Kuro~” Kenma whines at Kuroo’s comment, “Would it really be so bad to get carried away?” 

“Right now, it would,” Kuroo lifts himself off of Kenma, nipping at his ear. “ It would ruin the plans I have for later.”

“You have no right to be that smooth.” Kenma huffs, face going bright red. 

The two put on a movie, cuddling while their bodies calm down. They aren’t watching what’s playing and instead start planning the rest of their day. Kenma needs to hop on a stream in about an hour, but they decide they want to go out for dinner afterwards, Kuroo’s choice. After a while, the two started setting up for the stream. It wasn’t much work, fixing his backdrop and setting up the lights, but it let Kuroo spend a bit more time with him. 

Kuroo stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping into the hall. He looked around the house, not finding Kenma in the living room or his studio. He assumed he was showering or getting dressed in his own room and headed to grab clothes from his closet. Though the two have been sleeping in Kenma’s room full-time, the closet in that bedroom isn't big enough for both of them, so Kuroo makes do with the second bedroom’s closet. 

He steps into what was once his private bedroom and finds Kenma lying on the bed. He eyes Kuroo up and down, lingering on the hem of his towel a second longer than would be natural. Their eyes finally meet, and Kenma makes a pouty face, flicking his eyes between Kuroo’s face and the towel precariously hanging around his waist. Kuroo ignores his obvious ploy and opens the closet door, holding up two options for Kenma to choose. He picks out a white button-down with a black sweater vest, citing that it looks easier to take off than the other one, a comment that Kuroo rolls his eyes at.

“Are you sure you wanna go to dinner?” Kenma asks, tilting his head to the side before following the motion through to lie on his back. “We could always stay home and start on those plans you mentioned earlier.”

“Have some patience,” He says, noticing his outstretched arms above his head, upside down, hanging off the bed. Seeing the position he’s in right now makes Kuroo consider dropping his towel and feeling his mouth around something other than his fingers. He pushes the thought to the side, reminding himself of the plans he’s made for them. “You can wait until after our date, can’t you?”

“After our-” Kenma’s eyes widen, “tonight?” Kuroo doesn't answer, just eyeing him as he grabs a pair of slacks from his closet. 

“I-I’ll wait for you in the living room,” Kenma says as he rolls out of bed and rushes out the door. 

It only takes a few minutes until Kuroo makes his way to the living room. They’re almost matching, both wearing all black. Kenma’s in a white T-shirt with a black unbuttoned button-down over top, and a pair of black ripped jeans. His hair is pulled back into a slightly messy bun, and he’s wearing silver jewelry and his signature eyeliner. Kuroo takes him in for a moment, realising that he gets to take that off tonight. 

“Do you have everything?” Kuroo asks, wanting to get going before he changes his mind. “Phone, wallet, keys?”

“Wallet?” Kenma questions, “I thought the man was supposed to pay on dates.”

“Kenma, we're both men.” He stares at him, unamused.

“Well, if one of us had to be the woman, it would be me. So you pay.” Kenma remarks with a smirk, “Where are we going anyway?”

“Onigiri Miya.”

Kenma looks confused; that’s exactly what Kuroo expected, “You wanna go there? Didn’t that cause a problem last time?”

“There’s only gonna be a problem if you get drunk again,” Kuroo retorts, taking Kenma’s hands and walking towards the door, “I feel like we have it to thank for our start, too.”

With that sentiment exchanged, they start towards the restaurant, sharing stories of when they first realised they were in love. The night passed quickly with all of the fun they were having. Osamu even stopped by their table again. 

“Ah, Kuroo and Kozume back again so soon?” he joked, walking up to their table. 

“Good to see you again, Miya!” Kuroo exclaimed, “We had to come back to celebrate! Your restaurant is what got us together.” Kuroo laughs, reaching out his hand to take Kenma’s. They look at each other, then back up to Osamu, seeing his face drop to confusion.

“Wait,” Osamu hesitates, “I thought y’all were already datin'.” 

Kenma laughs nervously, tugging at the hair in his bun, “Actually, the night we came here is what did it in for us.”

After a good while of laughs and good food, Kuroo pays the check, and the two take their leave. The walk back to their apartment is cooler than usual from the breeze in the evening air. Kuroo wraps his arm around Kenma’s shoulders, noticing that he looks cold. The two walk back in near silence, quietly reminiscing on everything that’s brought them here. Leaning into each other, unapologetically in love, heading to their shared home, their shared bed. Everything feels right, like it’s meant to happen. 

The couple enters their apartment. Ever since they entered the building, the air around them has felt increasingly hotter. Once they step into the living room, Kuroo turns to Kenma, pulling him in by the waist. Their lips join together as they stumble backwards into the wall. Kuroo licks at Kenma’s bottom lip and feels them part, giving Kuroo permission, asking for more. Kuroo feverishly takes more of him, hearing Kenma gasp at the sudden feeling, yet he still leans farther into Kuroo. 

Kuroo leans away from the wall that they’re pressed up against, guiding Kenma by his hips, still enthralled in their kiss. After bumping into walls, end tables, and nearly knocking a picture off the wall, Kuroo finally feels the door handle to their bedroom. Before opening it, he presses himself against Kenma once more, pushing a low moan out from his lips. One hand makes its way to the door handle while the other lingers in Kenma’s hair. 

The two push into their bedroom, continuing until they fall directly onto their bed. Kuroo pushed Kenma farther up, kissing down his neck while guiding him. Kenma whines something close to his name at the contact. His hands make their way into Kuroo’s hair as he works his way down, lifting Kenma’s shirt and kissing his chest. He works his way down Kenma’s body, hearing his heavy breathing turn to desperate whimpering, the farther down he goes. Kuroo traces his tongue along the waistband of Kenma’s pants, earning a satisfying moan that nearly made Kuroo rethink his plans for foreplay. 

With one hand holding Kenma’s hip, Kuroo moves his other arm under Kenma’s back, making its way into his hair. Kenma liked having his hair pulled before, while they’ve made out, and Kuroo wanted to test a theory. Kuroo undid Kenma’s belt, throwing it on the floor before unbuttoning his jeans. Kenma looked down at Kuroo, as if to confirm what he was feeling, before lulling his head back into the covers. Kuroo took that look as enough permission to pull the hem of his boxers down enough to leave kisses just above the base of his dick. The one that Kuroo can feel desperate to break free from his jeans. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo breathes out, trying his best to keep his voice even. “Can I undress you?”

Kenma’s face flushes even more, and he covers his face with his arm. Kenma nods at him, averting his gaze as soon as their eyes meet. Although he clearly wants him, Kuroo won't be convinced by such a casual reply. He moves up, leaving kisses on Kenma’s jawline, before hovering just a couple of inches above his face. 

“If you really want it, I’m gonna need to hear you say it.” Kuroo’s breath is hot and wet on the side of Kenma’s face as he turns away, squeezing his eyes shut for good measure. 

Oh god, he’s so cute when he’s flustered. 

“Kenma, look at me,” Kuroo whispers, sliding his hand under Kenma’s cheek, coaxing him to look up. “Don’t be so shy. I thought you wanted this?” Kuroo smirks at the wide-eyed expression on Kenma’s face. 

“I- I do.” Kenma studders. “I want you. It’s just that you’ve never seen–” 

Kuroo leans back down, cutting Kenma off by connecting their lips once more. This kiss is different. It isn’t rushed or too intense. It’s intimate. Comforting. Once he pulls away, Kuroo sees that Kenma’s expression has calmed. 

“If we’re moving too fast, we can–”

“Tetsuro,” Kuroo is cut off by Kenma, using his first name. Every time he hears it come from Kenma’s lips, his brain short-circuits. He’s only brought back when he hears it again. “Tetsuro, I want this, please. Just– just be gentle.” 

This time, Kenma reaches up, pulling Kuroo back down on him. Their lips meet each other, moving together as Kuroo’s tongue presses into Kenma’s mouth. He licks into Kenma’s mouth, gently sucking on his tongue. Meanwhile, he grinds his lower half down onto him, both of them moaning into each other's mouths. They only break the kiss when Kuroo grabs the bottom of Kenma’s shirt, pulling it over his head in one motion. He does the same for himself, pulling off his vest before making quick work of the buttons of his shirt. 

Kuroo’s shirt falls open, revealing his muscular build. Sure, Kenma’s seen him shirtless, but never like this. Kuroo pulls the shirt off his arms and tosses it to the floor. Kenma’s eyes linger on his chest, mouth falling open slightly, before flicking down to the noise he hears at Kuroo’s hands. His belt. He’s taking off his belt. Kenma looks back up at Kuroo’s face, locking eyes with him. Kuroo lunges down to kiss Kenma, still fiddling with the zipper of his pants. Kuroo slips them down his legs and does the same for Kenma. 

Soon enough, the two are pressed against each other with only two thin layers of fabric between them. They’ve never been this intimate. Kenma gasps at the feeling of Kuroo’s dick pressed against him. He’s felt it before, though they’d been wearing far more clothes at the time, but now that he’s feeling it up close, he realises something. Kuroo is big. The thought of Kuroo being inside of him makes his skin tingle. He moans as the two grind into each other, and he places a hand on Kuroo’s lower back, feeling the motion of his hips. Kuroo moves his head into the crook of Kenma’s neck, groaning low as he pulls him in harder. 

Kuroo makes his way back down Kenma’s body, leaving a trail of kisses behind him. Kenma’s hands work their way to Kuroo’s hair as he kisses on his hip, pulling off Kenma’s boxers in the process. His hand gently wraps around Kenma’s cock, kissing and circling the tip with his tongue. Kenma moans at the contact, head dropping back into the bed. Kuroo reaches over to the nightstand, feeling around until his hand feels a familiar bottle. 

He holds a pump of lube in his hand, warming it up before wrapping it back around Kenma. He gives him a few slow strokes, feeling Kenma’s dick twitch in his hand. He falls into a steady pace, pushing himself up to look at Kenma’s face while he works him. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” Kuroo whispers mindlessly, before reconnecting their lips. 

Kenma has one hand still in Kuroo’s hair and the other above his head, grasping at the bed sheets as if he’ll fall without it. Kuroo continues, feeling precum beading at the tip of Kenma’s dick. In the back of his mind, Kuroo wonders if he’s ever let anyone else do this to him. The slight tinge of jealousy he had at the thought only made Kuroo more intent to please Kenma. His grip on Kenma’s cock tightened, fucking him faster than before. Kenma moaned loudly against Kuroo’s lips. Kenma was whimpering with every exhale, lips moving rhythmically against Kuroo’s. 

He wished he could make this moment last forever. Kuroo paused, feeling Kenma trying to speak against him, and pulled back from their kiss. Kenma’s lips are swollen and red, panting with his mouth wide open. Kuroo’s eyes linger on his mouth, wanting to dive right back into him, but he realizes Kenma needs to slow down. Kuroo slows his hand down, gently kissing his neck as he lets out a questioning hum. 

“Please,” Kenma pants, his voice strained. “Please, Tetsuro, I want you.”

Kuroo hears Kenma’s voice, the words he’s speaking, but they aren’t processing in his head. Kenma says his name, saying that he wants him. It all feels like a dream. 

“Tetsuro,” Kenma whines. “I need you.”

At that moment, every ounce of control Kuroo held over himself vanished, leaving a hungry version of himself in its wake. He quickly tears off his boxers, finding the bottle of lube with his other hand, and coats two of his fingers. Kuroo teases Kenma, petting his tight hole, before pushing one long finger inside. Kenma gasps and shudders around him. Slowly, Kuroo moves, twisting and curling inside Kenma, receiving a low moan as he brushes over his sensitive prostate. Kuroo pushes another finger in, feeling Kenma tighten around him. He fingers him until Kenma starts panting his name again.

“Tetsuro,” the word rings in his ears. “Tetsuro.”

Kuroo moves his hand away, hearing Kenma whine at the loss. Kuroo pulls a condom out of the nightstand, tearing open the foil and rolling it down himself. He leans back in to kiss Kenma, deepening it when he gasps at the contact. Kenma whines against Kuroo’s kiss and reaches his arms around his shoulders. Kuroo lines himself up, pushing into Kenma slowly. Kenma feels Kuroo fill him up. He arches his back, feeling Kuroo’s cock rub over where he’s sensitive. They moan into each other as Kuroo bottoms out, deep inside Kenma. 

Kuroo waits there for a few seconds, letting Kenma adjust to him. He moves his hips back slightly before pushing back in, feeling Kenma whimper against his lips. He repeats the action, falling into a slow, rhythmic pace. Kenma feels so good wrapped around Kuroo’s cock, he has to remind himself to be gentle with him. He wraps his arm under Kenma’s waist as he arches his back, using his hips to pull him deeper. His other hand goes back to fisting Kenma’s dick, keeping pace with each thrust inside him. 

One of Kenma’s arms falls off from Kuroo’s shoulder, landing above his head as he grabs at the blankets. Kuroo can tell he’s getting close from the way he keeps tightening around him; hell, Kuroo’s getting close too. Kenma turns his head to the side, breaking their kiss and forcing Kuroo to look at him. Their bodies pressed into each other, hips and hands making obscene, wet noises at each motion. Kenma’s expression beneath him nearly sends Kuroo over the edge, his red face and open mouth, drooling lewdly down his chin. He pushes away the thought of outright licking it off his face. 

“More, more,” Kenma moans, catching Kuroo off guard. “ Ahng– fuck me harder, Tetsuro.”

Kuroo’s movements falter at the request, heat building at the base of his cock. Kuroo hooks his arm under Kenma’s knee, repositioning him deeper, before returning his hand to Kenma’s dick. Kuroo rolls his hips deeper and deeper into Kenma, who’s practically screaming at this point. His hand is moving out of sync, giving Kenma’s drooling cock a few strokes before rubbing his thumb over the tip. Kenma wriggles beneath him at the feeling, unable to get away from Kuroo’s relentless touch. 

Kuroo watches Kenma’s expression get more frantic, whimpering, and moaning without control. He feels as they both get close to their peak. Kenma whimpers his name as his dick jumps in his hand, spilling over Kuroo’s hand and onto his stomach, while Kuroo fucks him through it. Kuroo watches as Kenma throws his head back, feeling himself tip over the edge as well, moaning low as he comes inside of Kenma, feeling as he spasms around him. 

Kuroo lies over Kenma for a few moments as they catch their breath. Kuroo carefully pulls out, tying off and throwing away the condom before returning to Kenma’s side. He cups his face in his hand, resting their foreheads together. Kenma’s eyes are closed as he sighs in contentment. 

“How about we wash up?” Kuroo says softly, “I’ll run us a bath.”

Kenma nods, and Kuroo stands back up, grabbing a tissue from the nightstand to clean off Kenma’s body enough to get a blanket over him. Once he made sure Kenma was comfortable, he snuck into the bathroom, filling the bathtub with warm water. After a few minutes, Kuroo returns to the bedroom, scooping Kenma up in his arms and carrying him to the bath. He places Kenma down first, then slides in behind him. They sit in relaxing silence, enjoying one another’s company, until a nagging question creeps back into Kuroo’s mind. 

“Was that your first time, Kenma?” Kuroo questions, his voice gentler than usual. He sees that Kenma’s ears get red. 

“Yeah, it was,” Kenma whispers into the surface of the water. “And I’m glad it was with you.”

A feeling of bliss spread throughout Kuroo as he nuzzled his head into Kenma’s hair, wrapping his arms tighter around him. The two finished cleaning off and got ready for bed. They crawl into bed, and Kuroo pulls Kenma into his arms, his head resting on Kuroo’s chest. As they slowly drift off, the memories of today floating around them, they have only four words left to be spoken. 

“I love you, Kenma.”

“I love you, Tetsuro.”