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Published:
2025-09-28
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1/1
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tell me, did you sail across the sun?

Summary:

Buck and Eddie are paired together on the International Space Station for 90 days — with everything still unsaid between them after Eddie's return from El Paso.

Oxygen levels: stable.

Emotional repression levels: dire.

A love story told through mission logs.

Notes:

For the full effect of the log format, I would recommend having creator's style on and using a desktop, as the vignettes have a bit of glowy background that intensifies when you hover over it, or press it if you're on mobile. But it's compatible with any device, and still readable without styling on for the sake of accessibility! If you use a site skin with a dark background such as Reversi the contrast looks extra cool!!

This fic started life as this text post that I started to think about way too hard, and ended here, with me actually trying to give it a plot and digging up 7 year old HTML/CSS skills because I wanted to custom make a ~spacey~ theme. This is the first fanfic I've ever finished! I had a ton of fun 🙂‍↕️. Thank you x1000 to everyone that listened to me yap about formatting and how excited I was to post this. Fandom is SO cool 🫶.

Title from Drops of Jupiter by Train. Please don’t think about any of the math or science mentioned too hard, and I sincerely hope it makes you laugh. Enjoy! :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

CLASSIFIED MISSION LOG — CIRCE-22 FIREFIGHTER DEPLOYMENT TO ISS

MISSION TYPE: Emergency Response Testing (Fire + Hazard Containment)

SUBJECTS: Buckley, Evan ("Buck") / Diaz, Edmundo ("Eddie")

DURATION: 90 Days (Extended)

NOTES: 7.82 years prior service together at one of LA's most prestigious fire stations. Deep operational bond.

CONCERN: Unresolved dynamics and relational complexities may impact mission efficiency.

 

crew pairing report – #911×001

ROLE: Joint Fire Ops Liaisons, Earth-Origin Unit 118.

ROOMING REQUEST: Mutual requests, stated for the sake of “efficiency”. Requested bunk adjacency “for familiarity.”

NOTES: High compatibility rating (97.6%). Shared trauma index also high (81.2%).

INITIAL OBSERVATION: No romantic involvement disclosed. Ongoing proximity says otherwise.

 

behavioral log – day 3 | #118×003

EVENT: Exercise Deck Proximity Pattern.

DETAILS: Diaz arrived 0700 hrs. Buckley at 0703. Ran in tandem 26 min. No talking. Matched pace within 0.2 kph.

EYE CONTACT: Diaz attempted 4 times. Buckley pretended to adjust shoe. Shoe fine.

FOLLOW-UP: Shared protein shake. One straw. No comment.

CONCLUSION: Possibly nothing. Logged anyway.

 

file #911×005 – day 5

ROUTINES: Waking synced (±2 min). Hygiene overlaps. Shared meals.

NOTES: Buckley offered protein bar half. Diaz accepted silently.

CONCLUSION: Operational compatibility high. Emotional engagement is minimal but habitual.

 

status log – day 5 | #118×005

EVENT: Extravehicular activity (EVA) relay alignment.

AUDIO:

Silence for 41 min.

Buckley: “Nice view.”

Diaz: "Yeah.”

OBSERVATION: Prolonged eye contact in decon.

CONCLUSION: Chemistry excellent. Emotional atmosphere - simulaneously thick and intangible.

 

maintenance anomaly – day 6 | #911×013

EVENT: Cabin climate control failure. Temp 7°C.

DETAILS: Buckley relocated to Diaz’s bunk “for warmth.” Diaz allowed. Buckley verbalized dream. Diaz listened. No teasing. For now.

AUDIO:

Buckley: “If I freeze I’m haunting you.”

Diaz: “If you freeze, I’ve failed at my job.”

CONCLUSION: Physical boundaries eroding. Personal space officially reclassified as a shared resource. Physical comfort accepted. Emotional context ignored. Ignorance is likely not sustainable beyond 48 hrs.

 

incident report – day 8 | #911×020

EVENT: Minor pressure fluctuation in quarters.

DETAILS: Diaz reached over to check Buckley’s oxygen feed while he slept.

A/V FEED:

Buckley: “Are you always this handsy in the morning?” Diaz adjusted seal. No reply.

CONCLUSION: Care disguised as protocol. Disguise failed. Seal integrity: 100%. Emotional integrity: < 70%.

 

observational log – day 12 | #911×022

EVENT: Joint inventory check.

DETAILS: Buckley miscounted bolts. Diaz corrected him without looking at clipboard.

A/V FEED:

Buckley muttered: “Show-off.” Diaz smirked (0.3 seconds).

CONCLUSION: Reciprocity noted. Humor surfacing under tension.

 

fire suppression drill – day 14 | #118×042

EVENT: Simulated cabin fire test. Zero-oxygen protocol engaged.

DETAILS: Buckley fitted Diaz’s mask; seal check required palm press along jawline. Diaz’s hand rose, steadying Buckley’s wrist. Eye contact sustained through visor glass for 4.6 sec. Diaz’s audible inhale registered before airflow initiated.

AUDIO:

Buckley: “Hold still.”

Diaz (quiet): “Trying.”

CONCLUSION: Safety compliance achieved. Professional detachment breached. Oxygen deprivation not required to explain breathlessness.

 

added log - day 15 | #118×054

EVENT: Oxygen filter calibration.

DETAILS: Worked in sync. Passed tools without prompting. Diaz wiped sweat from Buckley’s temple with glove. No comment.

NOTES: Buckley’s lips parted, then shut; tool clatter followed. Both avoided eye contact for 12 min. Unspoken sentence abort rate: 100%.

CONCLUSION: Pressure building. Still no release valve. Explosion probability increasing. Containment protocols are inadequate.

 

fire suppression drill – day 22 | log #118×069

EVENT: Module C fire (containment = 92% successful on first pass).

DETAILS: Collateral - 1 scorched sleeve.

AUDIO:

Buckley: “I had it.”

Diaz: “Don’t care.”

Buckley: “You could’ve been hurt.”

Diaz: “So could you.”

Buckley: “You always do this.”

Diaz: “Yeah. And you always let me.”

NOTES: Post-event, Buckley and Diaz sat against nearest wall for 11 min, 47 sec. No verbal exchange. Proximity index: 0.126 meters (well below standard spacing protocol). Silence density: measurable.

CONCLUSION: Reflex = protect then deflect. Protective response time: 0.4 sec (statistically significant). Protective instinct automatic; verbal resolution absent. Progress still pending.

 

mission downtime – day 27 | #118×076

EVENT: Maintenance bay downtime.

DETAILS: Buckley fell asleep on tool bench. Diaz covered him with thermal blanket. Later, Diaz found asleep in chair nearby. Buckley had shifted blanket to cover him too.

CONCLUSION: Care fully reciprocal. Neither commented.

 

private comms log – day 29 | #118×082

EVENT: Unscheduled transmission.

AUDIO:

Buckley [to Maddie Han, Sister]: “We’re fine. It’s just...space. If things get weird out here...He’s not saying anything either, so I’m not gonna be the first—”

STATUS: [Connection lost.]

 

incident report – day 31 | #118×091

EVENT: False debris alert triggered by sensor calibration error.

DETAILS: Buckley reacted instantly, seized Diaz by harness, pulled him flush against structural brace.

FOLLOW-UP: Clearance sounded 14 sec later. Buckley maintained hold additional 23 sec. Diaz did not object.

NOTES: Other crew present. No attempt made to disguise continued contact. Excuse (“protocol reflex”) disproven by duration. Hold duration exceeded emergency necessity by +287%. Categorized as voluntary persistence. Grip intensity consistent with non-operational intent. Hip alignment data redacted.

CONCLUSION: Excuse invalid. Observation unanimous. Everyone noticed.

 

file #FS-911×143 – day 37 EVA

EVENT: Spacewalk tether failure. Drift occurred. Buckley’s oxygen line detached, oxygen supply to suit entered critical levels rapidly.

DETAILS: Diaz rerouted his own line, fed Buckley's oxygen line from his own suit backup supply directly. Subjects held hands 8 min, 13 sec (not required).

AUDIO:

Buckley: “If this is how we go, I’m not leaving without saying it.”

Diaz: “Saying what?”

Buckley: “You know what.”

Diaz (quiet): “Yeah. I know. Me too.”

Buckley: “At least look at me when you say it.”

Diaz: “We’re in helmets.”

Buckley: “Still counts.”

Mission Control: “Audio is live.”

Buckley: “Great. Love you too, Houston.”

Diaz: "...I love you. Now breathe.”

CONCLUSION: Confession confirmed. Crew morale: unmanageably high. NASA HR morale: unmanageably low. Morale spike: +342%. Paperwork spike: +600%.

 

update log – day 37 | #911×420

POST-EVA: Subjects both downplayed confession as “lack of oxygen.”

NOTES: Subjects then spent 3 hrs together in medbay. Arguably cuddling.

Remaining crew voted to stop pretending this is normal, secret mock wedding held in absentia in mess hall by rest of crew as Buckley and Diaz recovered in medbay. Reception included rehydrated cake packets. Cake packet consumption: 14 units. Nutritional guidelines compromised. Crew glucose metrics unrecorded. Post-event lethargy probable. Mock wedding toast included multiple counts of unsanctioned double entendre. Toast concluded with phrase: "May all systems dock smoothly."

 

mission downtime – day 40 | #118×101

EVENT: Station-wide trivia night.

AUDIO:

Buckley: “You remember everything.”

Diaz: “I remember what matters.”

NOTES: Buckley stared at table rest of game.

CONCLUSION: Emotional damage light–moderate.

 

observation protocol – day 41 | #118×118

EVENT: Routine deck surveillance assignment.

DETAILS: Buckley and Diaz stationed at opposite ends of observation deck. Standard operational distance maintained; both angled slightly away from each other. Micro-adjustments in posture suggest conscious avoidance. Eye contact avoided 92% of interval. Minimal vocal exchanges; both cleared throats twice without initiating conversation.

AUDIO:

Buckley (quiet): “All sectors normal.”

Diaz (quiet): “Normal.”

Buckley (quiet): “…And?”

Diaz (quiet): “And nothing.”

CONCLUSION: Operational parameters met. Interpersonal alignment minimal; avoidance maximal. Micro-tension detectable. Emotional engagement: suppressed. Mirror ratio: 0.37 (slight anomaly).

 

log #118×127 – day 48

LOCATION: Observation Deck. Earth visible.

A/V FEED:

Buckley: “Would it have been different if we’d talked about any of it sooner?”

Silence 41 secs, Diaz: “Wouldn’t have changed what I had to protect.”

Buckley nodded. No further words.

CONCLUSION: Delay interval: 41 sec = statistically significant avoidance. Emotional detour acknowledged. No new route taken. Still circling the block. Circuit completion: Infinite Loop Error…Recalibrating…

 

mission downtime – day 55 | #118×142

EVENT: Joint meal prep.

A/V FEED:

Buckley spilled water packet. Diaz caught it midair, handed it back.

Buckley: “Show-off.”

Diaz: “You were gonna lose half your ration.”

Diaz (quiet): “You always save me.”

Buckley (quiet): “You let me.”

NOTES: Prolonged eye contact recorded. Fork clatter broke silence. Fork retrieval delay: 47 sec > crew average 3 sec. Both silent after.

CONCLUSION: Silence decibel level: paradoxical. Psychic screaming: extremely audible.

 

mission downtime – day 60 | #118×220

EVENT: Card game.

AUDIO:

Diaz: “You’re cheating.”

Buckley: “You just hate that I'm winning.”

Diaz: “I couldn't hate anything about you.”

Buckley: “...Eddie.”

Diaz: “Let it be what it is.”

Buckley: “It’s never just what it is.”

CONCLUSION: Affection confirmed. Avoidance still active but rapidly losing plausibility. Avoidance half-life: 2.7 days.

 

mission downtime – day 63 | #118×344

EVENT: Post-repair rest.

DETAILS: Buckley’s hands trembled while slicing rehydrated protein. Diaz silently took over knife stabilization, guiding Buckley’s hand along a controlled arc. Buckley’s fingers flexed briefly, a subtle micro-movement resembling fine-tuned grip modulation. He exhaled sharply, leaned against counter, fingers splayed slightly as if testing spatial awareness. Diaz maintained support without commentary. Shared proximity recorded: 0.6 m. Duration of contact: 17 sec. Micro-adjustments in hand positioning: 3.

CONCLUSION: Avoidance intensifying. Manual guidance resembles supportive contact without verbal acknowledgment. Fine motor micro-behavior indicates heightened awareness of shared space. Avoidance now functionally indistinguishable from measured intimacy.

 

debrief log – day 64 | #118×382

EVENT: Post-systems check review.

DETAILS: Both submitted identical reports, word-for-word phrasing in 7 sections. Probability of accidental duplication: < 0.01%.

NOTES: Buckley tapped foot under table. Diaz tapped in rhythm unconsciously. Neither acknowledged sync.

CONCLUSION: Behavioral synchronization persists under stress. Reports suggest collusion, but more likely co-authorship via unspoken shorthand.

 

smoke path mapping – day 67 | #118×404

EVENT: Artificial smoke release in habitat module.

DETAILS: Visibility reduced to 20%. Diaz placed hand at Buckley’s back for navigation. At one junction, Buckley’s palm drifted along Diaz’s side under pretense of finding corridor edge. Contact maintained beyond functional duration. Respiratory rhythm of both parties accelerated despite non-hazardous air quality.

AUDIO:
Buckley (low): “You always this steady?”
Diaz: “You always this close?”
Buckley (after 2.3 sec pause): “Not with anyone else.”
Diaz: [audible exhale; silence 5.1 sec] “Keep moving.”

CONCLUSION: Route traced accurately. Boundaries blurred deliberately. Data suggests experiment less about smoke dispersion, more about proximity endurance. Result: both systems running hot.

 

incident report – day 69 | #118×445

EVENT: Minor hull breach. Buckley rushed in before safety confirmation. Diaz applied corrective force (classified as “tackle”).

AUDIO:

Buckley: “Jesus, it wasn’t that serious.”

Diaz: “You don’t get to die first, asshole.”

Silence 13 sec, Buckley (quiet): “...Okay.”

NOTES: Later, both found in engineering bay, side by side, not talking. Very close together.

CONCLUSION: Emotional progress via near-death experience pattern maintained.

 

rest cycle anomaly – day 71 | #118×455

EVENT: Sleep monitoring flagged heart rate irregularity (Buckley).

DETAILS: Diaz left own bunk, sat adjacent for 2 hrs. Buckley’s vitals normalized without medical intervention.

AUDIO:

Diaz (quiet): “You’re fine.”

Buckley (half-asleep): “’Cause you’re here.”

CONCLUSION: Vitals adjustment efficiency low, effectiveness high. Reproducibility uncertain. Care exceeds professional threshold. Sleep study compromised.

 

suit prep log – day 73 | #118×497

EVENT: Pre-EVA helmet calibration.

DETAILS: Diaz adjusted Buckley’s helmet strap, fingers brushing Buckley’s jawline unintentionally—or not. Buckley caught a breath, looking up. Diaz quickly straightened, pretending to check visor alignment.

AUDIO:

Buckley: "Thanks.”

Silence 4.2 sec, tension noticeable. Diaz: “Yeah.” 

CONCLUSION: Gesture carried implicit affection. Intensity achieved without verbalization. Emotional strain measurable.

 

calibration misalignment – day 75 | #118×642

EVENT: Diaz miscalculated alignment of console sensors by 2°. Buckley corrected positioning manually.

DETAILS: Buckley leaned over Diaz’s shoulder, torso contact unavoidable. Diaz froze for 1.5 sec before resuming input. Buckley’s breath recorded near Diaz’s ear; shiver response noted. No audible protest.

AUDIO:

Diaz (low): “You could’ve just told me.”

Buckley: “This way’s more effective.”

CONCLUSION: Instructional excuse transparent. Calibration efficient; pulse rate elevated. Intentional encroachment probable.

 

darkness anomaly – day 77 | #118×688

EVENT: Station-wide lights out for 4 minutes during routine shift.

DETAILS: Diaz guided Buckley along narrow corridor, hand lightly on Buckley’s elbow. Buckley’s hand brushed Diaz’s forearm, fingers lingering unconsciously. Breathing synchronized. Buckley stumbled slightly; Diaz caught wrist reflexively. Soft, shared laugh followed, echoing briefly in darkness. Buckley’s hand drifted toward Diaz’s side; Diaz maintained slight pressure, guiding forward.

A/V FEED:

Diaz (quiet): “Stay close.”

Buckley, after audible exhale: “Okay.”

Diaz: [grip steady; micro-adjustments to maintain contact and pace]

CONCLUSION: Darkness amplified physical awareness, trust, and emotional proximity. Contact prolonged beyond operational necessity. Unrecorded touches probable under blackout conditions. Emotional and physiological metrics elevated; unspoken reassurance observed.

 

thermal barrier test – day 79 | #118×701

EVENT: Heat shield material stress test. Surface temp exceeded 800°C.

DETAILS: Buckley recorded readings; Diaz steadied Buckley’s arm against console as vibration increased. Buckley’s grip tightened on Diaz’s forearm, not equipment. Duration of grasp exceeded necessity by 3.3 sec. Diaz’s expression partially obscured by visor, but visible smile suggested.

AUDIO:

Buckley: “I had it.”

Diaz: “You like when I don’t believe you.”

Buckley: “…Better grip.”

Diaz: [faint laugh] “Sure.”

CONCLUSION: Thermal readings nominal. Emotional temperature: critically high. Mutual provocation recorded; avoidance protocols overridden. Grip efficiency: 112%. External heat source irrelevant.

 

decompression log – day 83 | #118×712

EVENT: Standard decompression cycle extended due to console glitch.

DETAILS: Buckley and Diaz confined in chamber for 6 min, 40 sec. Proximity reduced to <0.5m. Shoulder contact initiated, then unbroken. Breathing became mutually entrained after 52 sec. Buckley shifted weight, brushing hip to Diaz. Response: unacknowledged but sustained.

AUDIO:

Diaz (low): “You nervous?”

Buckley: “Not about this.”

CONCLUSION: Decompression log doubles as emotional compression log. Pressure differential heightened awareness. Outcome: intensified anticipation for subsequent encounter.

 

meal log – day 88 | #118×829

EVENT: Breakfast packet misallocation (double coffee, zero tea).

DETAILS: Buckley swapped cups before Diaz reached for one. Diaz noticed immediately.

A/V FEED:

Diaz: “You think I don’t know how you'd take it?”

Buckley: “Do you?”

Diaz: “Better than you do.”

Silence (7 sec). Buckley smiled into cup.

CONCLUSION: Banter still deployed as cover, but cover is transparent. Underlying knowledge-sharing index: critical. Denial index: unsustainable.

 

final log – day 90 | #118×911

LOCATION: Observation deck. Earth visible, station lights dimmed.

DETAILS: Buckley leaned against railing, shoulder contact with Diaz noted. Buckley exhaled audibly. Diaz adjusted Buckley’s sleeve strap; fingers brushed forearm. Buckley’s hand rested on Diaz’s forearm, fingers curling lightly; Diaz did not withdraw. Tension measured: high. Years of near-touches, accidental brushes, and shared silences referenced implicitly.

A/V FEED:

Diaz: “So, do we finally do this?”

Buckley: “If we don’t now, we never will.” Eyes maintained locked contact.

Buckley: “I meant it. Back then.”

Diaz: “So did I.”

Prolonged silence (3 min, 17 sec). Buckley exhaled audibly. Diaz smiled (0.8 sec). Diaz chuckled, brief. Buckley leaned closer; fingertip brushed Diaz’s jawline intentionally.

Diaz inhalation recorded: sharp. Diaz leaned in; lips met Buckley’s. Kiss duration: 5.2 sec. Hand contact: Diaz on Buckley’s shoulder, Buckley on Diaz’s upper back.

FOLLOW-UP AUDIO:

Buckley: “...Wow.”

Diaz: “...Yeah.”

Kiss duration: 6 sec. Diaz: “You’re terrible at waiting.”

Buckley: “You make it impossible.”

Laughter: soft, brief.

NOTES: Prolonged eye contact alternated between each other and Earth below. No additional verbal exchange necessary. Gesture analysis: affectionate, deliberate.

CONCLUSION: Confession ratified. Avoidance protocols terminated. Replacement protocol: partnership, indefinite duration. Mission log reflects explicit evidence of romantic involvement; recommend HR file update.

Notes:

End Note: Only Buck and Eddie would be stuck in space for 90 days together, confess their love for each other on day 37 and not address it head on until they're about to go back to Earth. Like, it's my fault...but it's also their fault.

Just because it occurred to me after I finished to think about what Chris is up to during this 90 day stretch, I'm saying he's at a deeply prestigious space camp and is unbearably smug about the fact that his dad and his Buck are actually in space.

Come say hi to me on Tumblr. Feel free to share it wherever but you can can reblog this fic here!

This is the first fic I've ever finished, but it's not the first one I ever started. That would be touching me, touching you (good times never seemed so good), a mutual pining prose fic, with much more overt yearning, and Buck fixating on Eddie's hands.

Kudos confirm life support is stable. Comments help mission control with diagnostics. 🪐