Chapter Text
@carcinoGenetesist:
SO, KANAYA IS MAKING ME LOOK AFTER TADPOLES FOR A PROJECT. WELL, WE'RE SHARING CUSTODY BETWEEN THEM, WHERE I LOOK AFTER A FEW AND SHE LOOKS AFTER THE REST. I'D LOVE TO SAY I HATE THEM BUT...
ANYWAY
IF YOU SEE ME WITH A FISHTANK JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M RAISING FROGS THIS SEMESTER, AND IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING I'LL SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS I'LL BE USING YOU AS A SLIPPER!
@graciousCandour:
Karkat, I'm pr9ud 9f y9u f9r taking the initiative t9 l99k after creatures that are y9unger, and theref9re m9re vulnera6le than us. That is such a gift, I 6elieve we sh9uld all be l99king out for each9ther, animal, human, and tr9lls alike, and I kn9w y9u'll d9 a great j9b raising th9se little amphi6ians. H9wever, I must insist y9u 6e m9re mindful ab9ut y9ur language. F9r starters, threatening vi9lence against 9thers, even if y9u may think they deserve it, is entirely unreas9na6le, and I kn9w y9u w9nt listen t9 me 9n that, I f9rgive y9u, but I 6elie... (read more)
@carcinoGenetesist:
OH. MY. GOD.
KANKRI GET OUT MY COMMENTS!
I DON'T NEED A TW FOR EVERYTHING I SAY!
Dave had been late for school, again, due to his gaurdians average bullshit. This morning, it was due to Dirk taking too long in the shower, and Bro hadn't liked that at all, so now Dirk jogged beside him with a bruise forming on his cheek.
"Come on, bro!" Dave yelled at him, panting through his burning lungs as he threw the door open, and cursing that his class was up 2 stairs.
"Just go on Dave, I'll meet you later yeah?"
He was grateful for that, throwing himself up the stairs and down the corridor. People gave him weird looks but he was so dead focused on not being late again, not giving the teacher a reason to give him detention. Bro would absolutely kill him if he got into trouble for a 3rd time, school had only started 2 weeks ago. That's why when he opened the door and found only one person sat there, talking to a small fishtank full of tadpoles, he felt like he was being pranked by whatever God there was out there. Or, no. Maybe not. This guy was cute.
The troll had spikey black hair, the nubbiest little candy corn horns, and was wearing a black turtleneck that was baggy on him. A silver symbol was printed on front, and it took Dave a few seconds to realise it was the same one that annoying preacher kid wore. He was certain Kankri believed he was the second coming of Christ. Kankri...this kid even looked like him. The troll lifted his head and his face fell into a scowl.
"What are you looking at?" He asked in a uniquely scratchy voice.
"Nothing man...where is everyone?"
He clicked his tongue "Class was cancelled. Didn't you get the email?"
Are you fucking serious?
Dave checked, and sure enough there it was. The teacher claimed she was ill, and first period was cancelled. With a scoff, Dave leant against the door trying to catch his breath, and trying to ignore those cat like eyes on him. He couldn't.
"What?" He asked, glancing up to meet his eyes with a sly grin, "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing. You're the one who barged in here like one of your hornbeasts, looking like you ran 3 cities. I was enjoying this time in silence to work on my project, and of course, some sweaty human has to ruin it. Is that just typical?"
Dave paused before laughing "You've got a mouth on you haven't ya?"
Immediately, he received a glare.
"I'm Dave, Dave Strider. What's your name?" He smiled, risking coming closer to inspect the tank. The troll watched him, pulling a face at the surname but didn't comment.
"Karkat...Vantas"
"Oh so you are related to that Kankri guy?"
Karkat's face fell into something of agitation, crossing his arms "Don't remind me. He's my older brother, and technically guardian. He's always bugging me with his nonsense too, but I'm not..." He shook his head, and reached into his bag for a small pot of food.
"Ah, you're not a pretentious social justice nerd? I can tell from the way you speak, your voice doesn't grate my ears, and you talk so elegantly in the ways of rudeness"
Karkat snorted "Kankri hates that I speak my mind, 'the wrong way' as he puts it. I'm too aggressive for his liking, or whatever the fuck he believes"
"Aahhh" Dave laughed leaning on the desk, watching him pop some pellets into the tank, and lean down on his hands to watch them eat, "What's with the tadpoles?"
"Kanaya wanted me to help her with her science project...we're looking after tadpoles and seeing how well we can raise them into frogs. So far I haven't killed any so I'd say we're doing well" He snorted. Dave watched the handful of tadpoles hungrily gobble up the pellets at the bottom of the tank, as Karkat moved to check the heater and oxygen pump were working OK.
"Isn't it bad for them to carry them around? I though fish died if they were moved about too much"
"Your pathetically weak waterbeasts are different from these frogs. They're not Earth frogs at all. They need the strength to survive harsh environments, so as long as I don't run a marathon or put them in a freezer, I'm sure they'll be pretty fucking ok"
"A'ight dude, whatever you say" Dave snorted just watching him. He'd already heard Kanaya talk about her project, but he'd blanked half of it as she had actually been talking to Rose not him. Actually, now he thought about it... "You're the crabby guy Kan was talking about! Ooohhh"
"Huh? You know Kanaya?" He frowned before seeming to mentally facepalm "Oh right, the Strider Lalondes. Wait, crabby?"
"Yes she said you were crabby, but you were a dear friend"
Karkat didn't seem to know what to say to that, slowly shrugging "I'm known to speak my mind. If something bothers me, I won't pretend it doesn't"
Ah...that was so different to what Dave knew. He'd grown up a Strider, in a family that basically didn't know how to express any emotion other than stoic coldness. Dirk was slightly more expressive, but only when it was just the two brothers. Getting much out of him around Bro was next to impossible, unless he was genuinely upset. Dave kept his own facade of cool nonchalance up too, internalising that it and using it as a defense. He was just too cool. He had to be. But here was Karkat, open and honest, and didn't beat around the bush.
Dave bet he didn't wait days to tell someone they were wrong or that they'd fucked up. He'd just yell at them outright. Maybe...that sounded better than Bro's silence.
And that's why Dave's mouth moved before he could think, "Do you wanna go get a coffee with me after school?"
Holy shit, what did I just say?
Karkat paused and glanced at him, narrowing his eyes slightly for a moment, before he looked back at the tank. Silence fell between them, and Dave had hoped he'd just ignore it. But he didn't.
"Sure, I have nothing better to do. Kan has his debate club bullshit after school, and no doubt he'll be asking me stay behind to help him set up and tidy. I need an excuse. Thanks Strider, you're my ticket to freedom tonight"
"I...oh, sure. Glad I could help" He said slightly flustered, trying to ignore the excitement growing inside him. Going to a cafe with a cute boy? Score!
Dave met Karkat after school, finding the troll sat on the steps leading up to the doors. The chilly autumn air nipped at Dave's face as he stared at Karkat taking him in. He had a grey coat on, a red scarf tucked around his neck, and the little tank was bundled in a cute blanket with crabs printed on it. He was yelling over the phone, and Dave stood by not daring to interrupt.
"No, I told you I'm busy and I can't- I never agreed to help you anyway! Yes I'm wrapped up warm, no I'm- yes I know the guy! I'm not some fucking wriggler Kan, I'm not going to get abducted by him! It's not like I'm about to crawl into a candy van or however it goes! It's a coffee date. I think he's too much of an idiot to stage a kidnapping anyway, and if he manages then good on him, I'll eat my own words, maybe saw off my nubs and force them down my own chute. How come when someone babies you, you get to go all snappy at them, but yet you baby me all the time? Pick a lane... Yes...yes...kay goodbye. Bye-" He hung up and growled, running a hand through his hair.
"Wow...you think I'm stupid? I'm hurt Kittykat"
Karkat jolted and spun around to look at him "You- how long were you stood there?!"
"Eh long enough. Your preachy bro giving you shit?"
"He's just concerned" He scoffed standing up, "But in it, he manages to be so overbearing that he becomes aggravating. Which is stupid since he throws a tantrum if someone treats him like a child, but yet because I'm his little brother he treats me the same!"
"Mm I get it. My bro is...well Dirk's...just Dirk. He loves me, and I love him too but-"
"He's an egotistical dickhead?" Karkat offered as he stood, picking up the fish tank.
"Eh you could say that" Dave shrugged and before he could add to it, said brother came bursting out the front doors, jaw clenched so hard in anger that Dave was almost certain he'd break his teeth. He immediately stepped out the way, hating the way his stomach dropped anxiously. Dirk looked far too much like Bro sometimes, especially when he was this mad, "...You ok bro?"
Dirk barely stopped to respond, just snarling "Not now, Dave" as he strode down the steps with his long legs, missing several of them to get to his target faster. Jake. Oh boy, that wasn't an argument he wanted to stick around for.
Dave took Karkat's arm and immediately started walking off "Yeah let's go. You do not want to see that mess"
He noticed the troll glance over his shoulder as Dirk stared to snap, and caught sight of Jake's wide eyed expression. He didn't know what was really happening between them, only that they were having relationship problems that were 100% just down to communication issues. Dave liked to believe he wouldn't have that issue.
They walked in silence, eventually getting to the cafe and headed up to the counter. Karkat looked over the menu board briefly, as the batista with green and purple hair smiled. "Hey, what can I get you guys today?"
He glanced at Karkat, expecting him to order a coffee, but instead he just shrugged "Hot chocolate please. Just a plain hot chocolate, none of that other stuff"
"Alrightie, a hot chocolate. Anything for you?"
"Hot chocolate sounds nice actually"
Dave went to pay as Karkat gave him a look, making him sort "I asked you out, save your money"
He didn't miss the way the trolls face went red.
"I'm going to find a seat" Karkat huffed and walked off to a booth in the corner, taking off his scarf and placing the tank on the seat beside him, as Dave waited for the drinks and eventually brought them over.
"I'm surprised you didn't get a coffee! You look like the sort of guy who-"
"God forbid I like sweeter things. Its hard enough keeping up with your human sleep cycles without caffeine. I don't drink coffee much" Karkat scoffed, taking his drink and used it to warm his hands, "They never considered we're more of a nocturnal species. Because why even try and fit the comfort of another species when it's inconvenient for the poor humans"
It took everything within Dave to not tell him he sounded like his brother, nodding along, "Yeah I hate the sun too. My shades ain't just for fashion. Sun's too bright"
"Oh definitely, though it's nothing compared to back home, or so I've been told. There's a reason we're nocturnal" He snorted taking a sip, "What's with your family and sunglasses? Your brothers looks stupider than yours"
"What? They look sick as fuck!"
"They're ridiculous and you know it"
Dave put a hand on his chest in faux grief "You kill me, Vantas. It's a Strider right of passage!"
The troll was having none of it, rolling his eyes irritated, "You're obnoxious...but least you're not as bad as Dirk"
"What's the deal, man? Hating on my bro?"
"What? Do you seriously not see how he is? He so thinks he's better than everyone, and all he's done the last two weeks non stop, is argue with that boy he's with! Tell those two to sort their shitty relationship problems out, and maybe I'll chill"
"Huh...yeah Dirks been having problems recently. Jakes like, next to impossible to communicate with? At least that's what my bro says, and to be honest, he is. I've texted Jake a few times. The amount of times I get left on read or he pretends he just reads my notification to avoid opening our chat is unreal. I mean I've done that, I know you can look at messags without the other person seeing. Dirk blows my phone up sometimes and sometimes I can't be bothered to deal with it. But if he sees I've seen it he only goes more crazy"
Karkat raised his eyebrows "Sounds like your brothers also the problem. One's overbearing, the other avoids conflict. Sounds like a conflict of interest to me. Two people like that can only work if they put in the effort to communicate and grow. Even if Jakes says, hey I'm not in the mood to talk, instead of ignoring him. Wow, maybe I should corner Jake and tell him that myself. Maybe then I can read in peace"
Dave wanted to defend his brother, but instead what slipped out his mouth was "Sounds like you know your stuff, what do you want do you want in a partner?"
The two paused, staring eachother down, before Karkat shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe you just asked me that"
And instead of backtracking, Dave doubled down, "What, can't a man be curious? You're the one who made himself sound like a relationship therapist"
"I- fuck you! I know a normal amount!" His cheeks burnt red, in a hue Dave was certain he'd never seen before in trolls. Well, other than that time Kankri got so frustrated at his teasing that his face went red.
"S' all cool, dude. I don't care if you read smut or watch Twilight or whatever" Dave leant back in the seat, and paused watching the others face go even brighter red, his eyes widening.
"I do- you ju- fuck off!"
"Christ Karkat...do you read-"
"This isn't really appropriate" Karkat hissed back but his face looked embarrassed. That's all the blond needed to make him burst into laughter, "Shut up! Stop laughing at me, I'll go home! You obnoxious, shade wearing, bulgesniffing dickhead!"
"Fucking hell, your insults are beautiful. I'm so glad I asked you ou- to coffee. Well less coffee and more chocolate. You're having a great time really"
"Am I?" He scoffed, but he hadn't made a move to leave so that was definitely a win.
As Dave went to ask more, Karkat's phone buzzed and he mumbled an apology typing away. His face scrunched up as his claws clicked against the screen loudly, clearly agitated. His fingers moved fast with the experience and precision of someone who argued with people online frequently. Dave's eyes wandered to the phone case as he sipped his drink, noticing it was a purple colour with a small crab charm dangling off of it. Boy sure liked crabs.
The rest of the date went well, they talked a bit more, exchanged their usernames so they could talk, and went their separate ways.
The amazing buzz Dave had immediately died as he got home, dread filling his stomach.
As he slowly opened the door, he saw the TV was on showing Bro was playing his xbox. Their apartment had two bedrooms, but Bro had given Dave and Dirk those and had his own room out in the front room. Probably the only nice thing he'd ever done for them. But even then, it caused a lot of problems having him out in the open nearly all the time. Like, for instance, now.
"Where have you been?" Bro asked, not pausing it. He was trying to get a high score on his Tony Hawk game.
"Just...out. Went to get a drink and to finish my homework somewhere warm. Just tryin'a stay out of trouble y'know?" Dave murmured, fiddling anxiously with the strap of his bag. He knows, he knows, he knows.
"Mm. Tell me next time...almost seems like youre sneaking about"
"I told Dirk to tell you" He shifted on his feet, glancing towards the hallway to his room, then back at the couch, jolting as he saw Lil Cal now peering over the back of it at him. That fucking puppet...
"Dirk's not home either" Bro scoffed, but he said nothing else. Dave took that opportunity to hurry to his room, drop his bag on the floor and sit on his bed shakily. Recently, he'd started to process that his gaurdian was not a great guy, and that a lot of stuff was actually pretty traumatising. He honestly wished he could go right back to the sweet feeling of not knowing. It was easier living in this place before that.
Laying back on the bed, Dave took a deep breath and sighed. Bro would be so mad if he knew he liked a guy, let alone a troll. Especially if he knew he'd taken him on a coffee date.
What? Like a guy? You just met him!
But he couldn't stop thinking about him. His permanently frustrated expression, the way his face scrunched up when he was frustrated or when he was thinking, the bright candy red of his blush. His rough voice and his laugh. Karkat was just so...different to everyone else. So genuine.
Biting his lip, Dave grabbed his phone and noticed Karkat had posted something since he'd added him.
@carcinoGenetesist:
OK SO, I WENT ON THIS CAFE DATE WITH THIS GUY RIGHT? (OR AT LEAST IT FELT THAT WAY? KINDA?) AND IT WASN'T SO BAD.
YEAH, HES A BIT OF A DOUCHEBAG AND THINKS HE'S COOLER THAN HE ACTUALLY IS, BUT HE SEEMS LIKE AN ALRIGHT GUY.
AND HES KINDA CUTE I GUESS.
BUT ANYWAY.
I WAS REALLY WORRIED IT WOULD TURN OUT TO BE ONE OF THOSE AWFULLY ONE SIDED, AWKWARD DATES I KEEP GETTING TRICKED INTO. I STILL SHIVER THINKING ABOUT THE ONE ERIDAN BEGGED ME INTO UNTIL I GAVE IN. EUGH. TALK ABOUT A GUY WHO CAN'T CATCH A HINT, HUH?
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, IF ERIDAN BEGS YOU NON STOP TO GO TO AN AQUARIUM, OR REALLY ANYWHERE, SAY NO. SERIOUSLY, SAVE YOURSELF.
I DON'T THINK THE GUY EVEN HAS PROPER FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ME, I THINK HE'S JUST LONELY. I'VE HELPED HIM THROUGH HIS MANY HEARTBREAKS, AND HELPING HIM WITH HIS BLACK AND RED FEELINGS. I KNOW. AND I FEEL KINDA SORRY FOR HIM. BUT NOT SORRY ENOUGH TO DATE HIM.
FUCK. THAT.
IN FACT, I'M NOT SURE IF I'M READY TO DATE. I REALLY MESSED UP A POTENTIAL MATESPRITSHIP WITHOUT REALISING...
FUCK, YOU GUYS KNOW, I ALREADY COMPLAINED ENOUGH ABOUT THAT AS IT IS. I JUST HOPE SHE'LL TALK TO ME AGAIN SOON, I MISS HER.
...
OH.
YEAH.
I FORGOT THE POINT OF THIS BLOG.
ANYWAY, CURIOUS TO SEE HOW THIS PROCEEDS. NOT REALLY MUCH ELSE TO SAY.
Dave paused as he read it. Did...he really feel that way? Was this really not a giant stretch on Daves part?
As he sat trying to work out what this meant, he continued reading. He found Karkat posted a second response that only read:
@carcinoGenetesist:
OH FUCK.
I FORGOT I GAVE HIM MY USERNAME.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Dave laughed softly. What a silly guy...he could definitely see this working. He skimmed the comments, noting a few:
@caligulasAquarium:
you really didnt like my aquarium date huh kar
i thought wwe hit it off cant wwe try another
@graciousCandour:
S9unds like you had a g99d time, Karkat? I'm relieved t9 hear as such. H9wever, interspecies relati9nships are still a very under-researched phen9men9n, and I h9pe y9u have th9ught this thr9ugh, all things c9nsidered. N9t that I'm trying t9 imply that I have a pr96lem with y9u dating a human! I d9n't. I'm happy y9u've f9und s9me9ne finally, 9r, at least, that y9u're sh9wing an interest in s9me9ne. I just 6elieve that this is s9mething y9u sh9uld have a l9ng, th9r9ugh think a69ut, and perhaps a discussi9n? Either with me 9r y9ur flushed crush. There are many c9mplex differences 6etween tr9lls and humans, mainly including, but n9t limited t9: S9ciatal n9rms, natural 6i9l9gical differences in b9th neur9l9gical and physical attri6utes, sexual c9mpati6ility, repr9ductive c9mpa... (read more)
@carcinoGenetesist:
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.
DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST SEND ME AN ESSAY ON TROLL-HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS, WHILE YOU'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF A DEBATE?
KANKRI. I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING ABOUT MY SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY WITH SOMEONE I JUST MET?? OR IN GENERAL!
STOP.
@graciousCandour:
My ap9l9gies, I didn't mean t9 make y9u unc9mf9rta6le. I still think we sh9uld have this discussi9n at s9me p9int, h9wever.
@carcinoGenetesist:
VDJEVEUWBW;;#GUEHEI
Dave shook his head, finding it no surprise Karkat looked ready to blow a fuse half the time. He'd go insane if he had to deal with Kankri too.
He paused for a moment before slowly typing out his own reply to the main post:
@turntechGodhead:
awwww youre so cute
With a long sigh, he curled up on his side and shut his eyes, drifting into a nap.
Maybe it'll work out after all.