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The lawyer was a stupid move. An idiotic, juvenile, utterly stupid move that Buck wished he could undo. Whoever possessed him to bypass the union and barrel straight towards a lawsuit- better yet the first lawyer he saw who turned out to be an ambulance chaser- needs to be shot. Buck had never felt so isolated and alone in his entire life, which says a lot since he spent his childhood from aged eleven to nineteen being ignored by his parents. All of his friends couldn’t stand the sight of him and he spent his shifts at work by himself in the bunkrooms or being treated like a pariah by the people he used to call his family.
Buck often spent his days contemplating just how he can win back the favour of everyone at the 118 because he wasn’t built to be by himself but more importantly he hated the fact he hurt the people closest to him in such a severe way. He humiliated them at the deposition (he desperately tried to ignore the fact that besides Bobby’s relapse everything that was mentioned was public knowledge. Chimney’s accident made the news for fucks sake!) for his own gain and it just ended in broken relationships and a fuck ton of money he didn’t even want.
After a month straight of working in solitude and the walls of perfunctory he built around himself in order to try and bear the weight of everyone's disapproval began to crumble. He knew he had messed up but being ignored so severely was weighing on his mind heavily. Buck was a social creature so this lack of affection he was being given was starting to shrivel his thoughts until he finally snapped.
It was an ordinary, unassuming Wednesday when it happened- a day where nothing exciting tends to happen- that everything blew up. Buck dragged himself from his warm, safe bed where his bedsheets acted like the comforting embraces he has now grown used to not receiving and lumbered around his loft apartment as he got ready for his shift. His limbs felt like they were made of lead as he readied himself for the day because he was reluctant to even prepare himself to leave the house today. His resolve had been broken and another day where he was given the same social standing of a leper was just unbearable to even think about. The only reason he decided not to call in sick today was purely the fact that from the time Buck was taken off of disability pay and the time he was put back onto the LAFD’s paycheck the payments on his loft and the necessities drained all of his savings and he needed to start hoarding extra money again.
Because he was now living frugally and only buying things he desperately needed he couldn’t even treat himself to a coffee from his favourite coffee house on his drive into work, which only soured his mood further. By the time he entered the station Buck felt as if he had a dark cloud following him in ernest which wasn’t helped by the hateful glares being sent his way from the rest of the 118. Buck bolted straight towards the locker room and got himself changed at lightning speed and grabbed the book on historical facts about Los Angeles he bought recently in a second-hand bookstore before cowering away in the bunkroom.
Buck had spent a blissful half an hour in the bunkroom reading his book before the alarm chimed throughout the station. Buck marked the page he was on and stood up before strolling out towards the vehicle bay with no sense of urgency because:
“Buck you're the man behind!” hollered Bobby from the captain's seat of the fire engine.
With a curt nod Buck turned back around to the bunkroom so he wouldn’t have to watch his crew leave him behind, but as soon as the sounds of the firetrucks quietened he moved to the cleaning cupboard and grabbed a broom. For the next hour Buck swept and mopped the floor, wiped down the counter tops, and blitzed the bathroom until it was so shiny he could see his own reflection. Buck was determined to complete as many of the tasks as possible before everyone returned so he could go back to hiding until the shift was over- if he completed tasks whilst the crew came back he would risk having to interact with any of them and Buck just wasn’t prepared for the confrontation. He was just finishing cleaning the shelves in the fridge by the time the rest of the 118 rolled into the station.
At the sound of everyone stumbling in from the call Buck decided to make himself scarce and organise the storage cupboard because that was a task he could do away from prying eyes. Buck rushed past the people he used to call his friends- can he even call them that anymore?- on the stairs and beelined straight towards the storage room. At the bottom of the stairs there was Eddie who was still standing next to the engine on his phone, he was probably checking up on his abuela since Christopher would be in school at this time. Buck walked straight past him and into his desired location and in his haste he missed Eddie looking up from his phone at Buck with a confused frown on his face and he also missed Eddie turning to walk towards Buck, that was until his voice shocked him out of his stupor.
“Buck?” The hispanic man called out.
Jumping in freight Buck turned around to face his best friend (former best friend? He isn’t sure anymore) before responding, “yeah?”
The shock was evident on his face at the prospect of a conversation and Buck could see a sadness wash over Eddie’s features before it smoothed over back over to neutral before Eddie asked,
“Are you cleaning out the stock cupboard? But that was my task for today.”
The tone wasn’t an accusatory one but one of pure bewilderment as if Eddie simply could not comprehend a world in which somebody else would finish a task designated for someone else. It made Buck smile a little and he retorted plainly,
“I figured it would end up being assigned to me anyway so I might as well just go ahead and do it.”
At that Eddie’s brow furrowed further, he was clearly confused by Buck’s declaration which in turn confused Buck because he thought it was common knowledge that ever since Buck returned after the lawsuit Bobby had taken the tasks from the other guys and loaded Buck’s metaphorical jobs plate up. If he were to guess, Buck assumed that Bobby could excuse the fact he is sidelining him if Buck was constantly working, even if that meant that everyone else could lounge around all shifts. His rationale helped him in completing all his tasks because otherwise he thought he might break down crying.
“What do you mean?” Eddie questioned,
Buck tilted his head slightly, “Bobby has been taking tasks from other people and giving me the tasks… surely you must have noticed yourself doing less around the station, or Chimney playing games more, or Hen reading her newest book.”
Eddie blanched at that because now that he thought about it he did notice a lack of responsibility from himself and the others- how could he had not noticed that before- memories rushing through his mind of Buck slaving away whilst the remaining 118 crew all slumped against the couch relishing in how they were allowed to be lazy by their captain. A twisted feeling formed in the pit of his stomach and Eddie turned away from his friend and up the stairs to confront the others.
Watching Eddie leave Buck assumed he did it out of carelessness and from a bout of frustration so Buck resumed his job all whilst trying to avoid the sting he felt from his friends rejection. It was only when he heard the stomping of multiple feet that Buck stopped what he was doing. When he turned to face the bay he saw Bobby, Hen, Chimney, and Eddie all staring at him and everyone besides Eddie had a scornful look on their face.
“Are you seriously telling Eddie we're putting our tasks onto you and making you do everything?” Chimney balked, folding his arms over his chest in annoyance. Buck took a step back because the last thing he wanted was a confrontation and he didn’t know how he managed to cause one, he wondered if Eddie took what he said wrong and went to bitch to everyone else.
“I- I don’t-” Buck stammered before he was cut off
“This is very childish of you Buck, after I let you back into the station after that lawsuit stunt you pulled and this is how you behave” Bobby chastised strongly, the captain shook his head in disapproval and gave Buck a hard stare. Something about what the man he considered a pseudo dad just said made Bucks last thread of restraint snap.
He turned slightly to fully face the entourage and he had a scowl painted onto his features as well as making himself stand tall and powerful. Buck opened his mouth and hissed,
“My behaviour? I have slaved away in this stupid firehouse to win back your approval. I am sorry I went straight into a lawsuit in order to get my job back but the fact of the matter was you were wrong Bobby! You had no legal right to keep me from my job after I passed my recertification, yes I had blood clots but I know at least three firefighters personally that were able to work on blood thinners. You let your personal feelings about our relationship to each other get in the way of your job! I won’t apologise for fighting for my place here.”
Hen stepped forward, “What about how you told your sleazy lawyer all about our personal issues for the deposition.”
Bucks’ eyes widened at Hen’s outrageous statement. What fantasy land was she living in if she thought those elements were personal, he had tried seeing their point of view before and understand their personal feelings towards the matter but this constant haranguing he was experiencing from everyone was making it difficult to sympathise anymore.
“Personal? Hen besides Bobby’s addiction relapse, all of those issues were public knowledge and I never even brought them up first- Chase did! As for Bobby’s story, I do apologise for that one because I was ranting to him about the unfairness of it all and it slipped out. I begged him not to mention it but he obviously didn’t listen! But, if you think Chimney getting a piece of rebar through his brain and then living to tell the tale wasn’t in any sort of public file for anybody to see, you are more naive than I thought."
At this declaration the group fell silent and looked at each other wearily, none of them knowing quite what to say so Buck took this chance to speak his mind even further.
“The only reason I got so desperate in the first place was because ever since I recertified I was taken off of disability pay. Do you know how much a fire marshal pays- not enough to cover my rent and utilities, that's for sure. The only reason I didn’t call in sick today was because I need to build my savings back up! I mean I can’t even afford a $4 latte for fucks sake! So I am sorry that you’re upset with me for suing the department but considering they tried to offer me half a million dollars as a settlement fee I can assure you it was not in vain.”
At that Buck pushed past the wall of his co-workers and stormed towards the bunkroom before stopping halfway and turning back to declare, “not that I took the money or even considered taking it for even a second, because all I wanted was to come back to work with you guys because you are my family. But I kind of wish I could go back and change my mind. I hate it here.”
With that he returned back to the bunkroom and picked his book back up to continue reading it since it was the only thing that had brought him joy all shift.
Back in the vehicle bay the remaining 118 members looked between each other with unexplainable grief, how had they let it get this bad. Each individual standing there all held a look of grief on their faces because it had suddenly dawned on them that they were in the wrong. They had been torturing their friend for an action he did out of love; Buck only ever held the purest of intentions in his heart as he clambered his way back into the 118’s walls and as a thank you he got isolation and frostiness from his family.
“We have to fix this.” Eddie proclaimed strongly, he couldn’t believe he allowed his friend to feel so lost and alone just because he was a little upset with him over that stupid lawsuit. It ended today.
The rest of the group nodded in agreement at Eddie’s announcement and they all headed upstairs to formulate a plan. They would work hard to win back Buck’s favour- they just hoped that they would be successful.