Chapter Text
Not for the first time in the past hour, Edwin feels stupid, needing to be picked up like a homesick kid at a sleepover. It’s frankly humiliating, especially after he insisted to Charles that he would be fine without him. It was Crystal’s party, and yes, he and Crystal sometimes got into it with each other, but he trusts her, so of course he had thought that nothing could go wrong. It seemed the perfect set-up to get himself to socialise, to prove to his friends and himself that he could do it. And it had been fine.
Sure, Edwin’s heart is still sitting on his tongue after the scare with the dolls, but it feels silly now, standing on the curb outside of Crystal’s house. It's just a Halloween party with creepy decorations. It’s just a stupid party.
A stupid party that Edwin can’t bear to step back inside of. Everyone is so loud, so uninhibited. Niko will be sad she missed his exit, but he can’t make himself turn around. If he turns around, he will just open himself up to another panic attack when he inevitably finds the damned dolls again. So here he is, standing alone and resolutely not swaying to the music, ignoring the laughter of all those people he doesn’t know anyway. He considers walking to the other end of the street, but that feels like an even worse admission of weakness, so he lingers on the curb, staring straight ahead into the garden of Crystal’s neighbours with their appalling collection of oddly shaped hedges.
Charles’s red car turns onto the street and Edwin finally takes his first real breath since he’d stumbled upon the twisted baby doll. Even with the humiliation of having to call Charles to be picked up, he can only feel relief as Charles parks right in front of him. He barely manages to wait until the car stops to stumble the rest of the way towards it.
“You okay mate?” Charles asks through the rolled-down passenger window. He reaches over to unlatch the door and push it open for Edwin, who folds into the passenger seat like a marionette with its strings cut. Immediately, shame curls hotly in his throat. He knows it’s silly, just like he knows this whole situation is silly. Charles told him to let him know if he needed an out, he told him. And Edwin knows Charles would rather eat his own hand than ever make Edwin feel ashamed.
“You didn’t have to come,” he mumbles into his collar, all the same. He feels the childish urge to hide behind his hands, as though that would somehow make Charles lose sight of him.
“Hey, none of that, yeah?” Charles’s voice is soft, but frank. “I’ll always come pick you up when you need.” He says it with such conviction, like it is the only truth of the universe. Edwin feels warm all over, looking over at Charles who looks back with that beautifully fond smile of his. Edwin wants to crawl into his lap and kiss him.
Instead he presses his balled fists against each other and sighs. “But you were at work.”
It had been a massive point of contention within their group. When Niko and Crystal had heard that Mick had requested Charles stay in for Halloween, they had very nearly thrown a fit. But Mick had been resolute—apparently, last Halloween there had been several attempted break-ins, along with some curious hauntings of his less-average stock. And despite Niko’s sad look whenever it got brought up, Mick wasn’t getting any younger. So of course, Charles had agreed to monitor the shop with him despite Crystal’s party. And of course, Charles had only rolled his eyes at Niko’s hesitant suggestion of having the party a day early instead. “It’s a Halloween party, it’s gotta be on Halloween.”
Back in the present, Charles reaches over and drops his warm hand down on Edwin’s fists and squeezes them. “It’s not that late yet, Mick could do without me for a few minutes. You come first, I told you.”
“Thank you,” Edwin whispers around the sudden lump in his throat. After years of exposure, he’s gotten used to Charles’s many words and acts of affection. Normally, he can breathe his way through them, let himself think of kissing the life out of him in thanks before returning to business as normal. Tonight, he can’t quite get himself up to business speed. Charles’s thumb draws a circle into the spot where Edwin’s hands meet. Turned suddenly bold in the cover of night, Edwin opens one to turn his palm to meet Charles’s.
When his eyes dart up to check on his best friend, Charles is smiling at him. “Where to, Eds?”
Brain finally jumping into motion, Edwin doesn’t have to think long. He still makes a show of it. “I wouldn’t mind checking out Mick’s new arrivals.” He bites down on the disappointment when Charles withdraws his hand, but is quickly soothed by Charles laughing.
“One day I’m gonna get in so much trouble for letting you into the back.”
“Mick loves me,” Edwin replies primly and Charles giggles as he turns the key in the ignition.
“Course he does mate.” There is nothing but brilliant sincerity in his voice as the car stutters to life. “You’re properly lovable.”
Edwin spends most of the ride turning those words over in his head, flushed and happy. He also is far too aware of the way Charles’s hand brushes his thigh whenever he shifts gear. Strangely enough, the boldness he felt earlier doesn’t dissipate, and so he doesn’t make an effort to shift away from the touch. Instead, he allows himself to bask in the curious sense of intimacy spreading through the limited space between them, allows his thoughts to be hopeful and curious about what it would be like to reach over and put his hand on Charles’s thigh.
He compromises, letting his hand drift over Charles’s the next time he shifted gear. Charles lets out a soft hum. When he lets go of the shift, his hand settles on Edwin’s knee. Taking a deep breath, Edwin reaches for his hand and twines their fingers together.
It’s quiet, safe for the sounds of the car and the world passing them by. Quiet, but comfortable like they always have been. Charles doesn’t stop smiling all the way to Mick’s shop. Edwin doesn’t, either.